#i thought someone on here might appreciate them more than my non dog person partner

[whippetcrimes]

If they'd had a sighthound set, I would've been all over it

[deniigi]

MORE POLYCULE SHIT

here this is mostly Sam/Ned from Matt’s POV. (this piece assumes Matt didn’t know about the negotiations until later)

Title: soda bottles

Summary: Matt finds out about Sam’s involvement with Ned and then with Peter’s polycule. He tries to talk to Sam about it, but fails. On like, every front.

---------------

The apprentice told him to stay out of his room and his life and his business and he should have known better by now, truly.

Matt knew that voice. And he also knew that what Sam, Samuel, Sammy-my-darling was doing right now at this present moment was giggling.

Unacceptable. There would be no joy in this house.

Matt removed himself from the door and declared war in silence.

 ---

 The dogs were instrumental in luring Samuel out to open space. And by luring, Matt meant knocking on his bedroom door with leashes in hand and asking Sam if he wanted a walk.

In no time Matt had zero leashes and zero dogs and, while he was at it, zero apprentices.

In fact, he had been abandoned.

In his own house.

Again.

How did this keep happening?

 ---

 Foggy told Matt to let Sam have his little crush on Ned. Ned was a good boy. Foggy had maintained this for years. He skirted around the fact that he’d grabbed Ned’s shoulders when he was 17 and had told him to stare him in the eyes and to never fall in love with his best friend.

Matt pointed this out to him and got a pillow to the face, then a huff and an uncalled-for reminder that he was a fucking idiot and no one loved him.

This was Foggy’s love language though, so Matt didn’t take it to heart. Instead, he abandoned him for the only person in the world who truly understood him.

Jenn.

 ---

  Jenn had to spend fifteen minutes cooing over the fact that Matt had acquired an apprentice and then she had to spend another ten being an asshole about it and then she spent a solid 5 making dad jokes at him when he tried to talk and so he waited until she was done with her cackling and personal jabs.

She told him that it was cute that Peter’s bestie was gushing over Matt’s apprentice.

She told him that he should be happy for them.

And Matt was. Happy for them, that is.

He was thrilled.

Sam’s track record with long-term partners, as far as Matt could tell, was a solid nil for nil. The boy refused to be attached to anyone, which Matt totally got.

But it was like standing by, watching your own young moronic self making a series of unfortunate decisions that were not only whole unnecessary, but also had solutions within easy reach, like headstones in a damn cemetery.

Sam had a string of guys and girls that he’d picked up at clubs and bars and fuckin’ hipster literature readings downtown who were literally, actually falling over themselves to be with him. And he texted them and laughed about them and joked with Leilani and Achara about them, and then never spoke of them ever again.

Matt got it, okay?

He’d been that guy.

Maybe a little more on the jock side of things and maybe a little less, say, refined than Sammy—but he still got it. A slightly longer relationship was good for Sam. And Ned was a good egg—no, a great egg.

But he just couldn’t shake this feeling, Jenn.

He didn’t even know what it was, but it made him paranoid and want Sam to go back to the self-destructive nonsense, because at least Matt knew what that felt like. He could push back against that after dumping the kid out of the ring in training.

“Matty,” Jenn said affectionately, “You’re trying to protect Sam, Ned, and Peter. But you don’t have to do that. They’re all grown. Let them make their decisions.”

Ooooohohoho

How dare she.

Matt knew they were grown. Sam was nearly 25. Peter was almost 27—oh god, Peter was almost 27. FUCK. Jesus. Lord. Someone—Christ.

Sammy was a baby.

He couldn’t be playing with these big kids, he’d have his heart broken.

What if Ned got bored of him, Jenn??

Matt couldn’t beat the shit out of Ned. Ned was a good boy. And Peter would lose his damn gourd and that was how Matt would end up under two tons of concrete and rebar with an angry spider perched on top, stomping and spitting.

“Matt,” Jenn said soothingly. “Peter learned how to be polyamorous from you, dear heart.”

Oh shit.

Oh right.

Oh no.

“I’ve gotta go,” Matt said. “Lovely talking to you, next time you’re in town, come around for a foursome or a twosome or a three if Kirsten’s down—okay BYE.”

Jenn laughed at him when he hung up.

Matt clutched at his chest.

 ---

 He’d inadvertently taught Peter what polyamory looked like by flinging himself down on many disgusting surfaces and moaning and writhing in agony and despair about Foggy being monogamous and everyone in the world being unspeakably brilliant and strong and no-doubt gorgeous.

Fuckin’ Kirsten.

Fuckin’ Wade.

Fuckin’ Karen.

And Heather and Marci and ONE TIME ONLY Frank.

UGH.

Disgusting. Matt needed Lysol to scrub that moment of weakness from his brain.

The point was that he’d been a chump, and baby Peter had observed these various moaning sessions and had apparently, at some point, started taking notes.

Gah.

Peter. Why?

Stop loving your friends. Stop copying me. Get your own breakdown material.

Uuuuuuugh.

Okay, okay. Rally, Murdock. It’s fine.

This is simply a conversation to have with Sammy about how to negotiate such--hng. Actually maybe this was a Kirsten conversation.

 ---

 He went to visit Kirsten.

He got a little distracted because Kirsten was Kirsten and she required thorough smelling and like, minimum two kisses and she deserved to have at his bare chest if she wanted it—who was he to deny her—THE POINT.

The point. Was.

That he told Kirsten about things and she told him not to talk about work when she was taking her shirt off, and he told her to leave it on for just like, five minutes longer and that came out wrong and she was insulted and Matt had to backtrack for half an hour.

But he got there in the end, alright?

Kirsten said she didn’t know that Sam was polyamorous.

Matt said that he didn’t know if he was, but he sure as shit was flirting with Ned like, constantly.

Kirsten said that that explained why Sam kept telling her that he couldn’t come to dinner with them because he already had a date. Kirsten then went rigid and said, “Wait, you mean Ned-Ned?”

Yes.

Yes, Matt did.

“Oh.”

Correct reaction.

“Is that—do you think that’s –hm.”

Correct reaction maintained and appreciated. Matt no longer felt like a monumental ass.

“That might be a little, uh, cuttin’ it close there,” Kirsten said. “Does Peter know?”

Presumably. Ned couldn’t lie for shit.

“Maybe we should ask Peter what the negotiations there are. He’s pretty on top of that stuff.”

Shockingly, that was true.

Good plan.

“If Sammy’s gonna get involved with them, then he should at least know what he’s getting into,” Kirsten said.

Yes, but also—why is this feeling happening, Kirsten, beloved life partner number 2?

“Oh, that? That’s called ‘you’re a territorial dick,’” Kirsten said. “Get over yourself.”

“But he’s 24,” Matt said. “A child.”

“He’ll be twenty-five in a few months, Matthew,” Kirsten said. “That’s bad-decision-making prime-time. This is inevitable. My concern is that he’s not going into a relationship with Ned, thinking that he’s the primary partner there.”

Okay, fair.

“Are we done with this conversation now?”

Yes.

“Thank god. I hate your dad impulses. Cleanse yourself of them and get on the bed.”

Would do.

 ---

 Kirsten made Matt call Peter and be awkward for the both of them which, Matt would like it stated for the record, was extremely unfair and manipulative of her.

Peter told him that Sam was fine.

Peter told him that he and Sam had maybe fooled around a little bit without Matt and Foggy and Kirsten’s knowledge which was. Hm.

Troublemakers. Stop laughing, Franklin. This is nothing like the time we inducted Kirsten into our life and lied about it to everyone we knew for 3 years.

Nothing.

Peter thought not. Peter thought that Sam had told Matt about this whole thing. He then got a little huffy and said that Ned was the one who had swept Sam off his feet while Peter had been standing right there, man. As Spiderman. Primed for feet-sweeping.

That was satisfying.

Peter took the next ten minutes to complain about how Sam didn’t want to talk to him as much as he wanted to talk to Ned and how Ned was always begging off dinners with Peter and MJ to go have dinner with Sam and how Peter and MJ had to make do with Johnny in his absence.

Matt would never understand why Peter pretended that he and Johnny Storm were nothing more than fuck buddies, but okay, sure. If that’s what helps you sleep at night, little lion man.

Peter went on to say that the worst part of Sam and Ned’s mutual obsession was how fucking cute it was.

Disgusting, Peter maintained.

There were matching bracelets and drawn out decisions about matching sneakers. And there was nattering on until past midnight about Transformers lore and there was non-stop texting and complaints about various tools and coding languages and all this shit that Peter’s own flavor of nerd had diverged from about six years ago.

Kirsten made a little squeak that told Matt that she was highly entertained by Peter’s ‘complaints.’

It sounded more to Matt like Peter and MJ were hunkered down behind the couch, narrating all Ned’s behavior to Johnny (the totally uninvolved fuckbuddy) in whispers.  

Foggy curled up on the edge of their own couch to muffle his wheezy giggles.

Exhausting.

The youth were exhausting. How had no one just shot Matt straight through the heart at 27?

“I will speak to Sam about emotional repression,” he promised Peter only to receive a “NO WAIT” from both him and, from the sound of it, MJ and (only fuckbuddy) Johnny a little ways away.

Peter hurriedly explained that Sammy was really shy and skittish about being around their polycule and had just connected with Ned as the least threatening member and it had taken ages, so please don’t say anything and destroy all of the rest of their hard work.

This hit a strange note.

Foggy and Kirsten weren’t snickering anymore either.

Sam?

Wasn’t?

Shy?

Like, if anything, Sammy was shameless. Always lying in people’s laps and snatching their open hands to swing back and forth.

Sure, he was teasing. But shy? Shy?

Sam was sick.

“No,” Peter said. “Double D, he’s not sick.”

Very sick. Terminally ill.

“DD. He’s not sick.”

Bullshit. Matt was taking him to the doctor. Too bad, Sam. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“Matt. He’s just. Emotionally. Repressed. You should recognize it because its your whole way of being.”

Wow, hadn’t this conversation been going on for a while now? Time to go.

“MATT. Leave him alone,” Peter said. “I’m looking after him, okay? Chill.”

Chill. Yes. Okay, fine. Matt would chill.

For now. Goodbye, Peter.

 ---

 Matt hadn’t chilled about anything in his life and he didn’t intend to start now. So instead he confronted the apprentice.

The apprentice leaned very hard against his door and told Matt that he would rather die than speak of such things, so Matt told him to bare his neck.

Sammy was convinced. But only just.

He made himself frighteningly small and grumpy on his bed and allowed Matt to sit only on the last four inches of it. Matt kind of wanted to take the opportunity to teach him how to hiss.

But alas. That was a skill for another time.

“I talked to Peter,” he said.

Sam mumbled.

“He says you’re shy. Are you feeling okay?”

Sam mumbled in a more prolonged, growly kind of way. He was muffled by something. Probably jeans. Or sweats. Hard to tell.

“Why are you being shy? We both know you’re not shy. Ned’s a nice boy,” Matt told him. “You can trust him.”

Sam jerked his body in some way strongly enough to make the bed shake.

Matt sighed.

“Sam,” he said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam said.

“Listen, kid,” Matt said. “You’re gonna do what you want. You’re grown, those are your decisions to make. But if you’re ever uncomfortable or you want to spend time with one person in particular, you’ve gotta communicate that to the others. I know that’s not like, smoothly done or whatever. But it’s what you’ve gotta do in these kinds of relationships.”

Sam made an unhappy sound.

“I don’t want a relationship,” he said quietly.

Ehn.

Same, pal.

They’re a lot of work.

“They’re worth it,” Matt promised him. “And it’s okay to be a little in love, you know. I’m in love every day. It’s not shameful. You don’t have to hide it.”

Sam huffed.

“People’ll stare,” he finally said. “If we ever went out. People would stare.”

Ahhh.

“That’s what you think,” Matt said. “But then you go and do it and it turns out that no one actually cares. People are very self-centered, Sam. You spend all this time worrying about how others perceive you and, at the end of the day, 90% of people literally don’t care. You don’t have to talk to Ned in your room all the time.”

Sam did something with his body that concentrated it even further into a dense mass.

“I like him,” he admitted. “He’s nice.”

Matt hummed.

“He’s a peaceful person,” he said.

“He talks so I don’t have to,” Sam said.

Aw.

Matt felt across the bed and eventually found Sam’s cheek to pinch.

“So shy for such a loudmouth,” he teased.

Sam bit his hand. Matt snickered.

“It’s okay, when I met Fogs I was shy, too,” he said.

Sam grumbled.

“It’s true,” Matt said. “Could not fathom having another human around who I didn’t have to put on an act for.”

He waited.

Sam didn’t even seem to realize that his heart was slowing down.

“I don’t like talking all the time,” he said after a long few beats.

Matt ruffled his hair.

“Ned knows a lot about Star Wars,” he said.

“And computers,” Sam added.

“And code,” Matt said.

Sam’s foot shook a little. Matt schooled his face. Sam crunched into a tighter ball.

Adorable.

Matt got up.

“Long distance is rough,” he said. “Maybe you guys can watch a movie together.”

Sam made a disgruntled sound. Matt left him to be miserable.

 ---

 “You’ve sure turned your opinion around.”

Yes, Husband. Matt had indeed. But that was because Sam was clearly and obviously suffering as a result of this crush, which was precisely where Matt needed him to be.

Misery was familiar. Resentment was nearly as good as spite in terms of skill development.

Dopey-ness was asking for trouble.

“Matt, you cannot be serious.”

Oh, but he could.

“Matthew, what did you tell that boy?”

Nothing he didn’t need to know.

Foggy abandoned him at the table. Matt sipped his coffee. It tasted oh-so-sweet.

 ---

 Things did not change until Matt got a text from Peter that said simply ‘when the fuck is Sam’s birthday?’

In February. Why was he asking?

Peter said ‘damn. Okay, thanks.’

Peter then said that he’d seemed a little sad lately and Ned was freaking out about it and fixating, so they were collectively looking for an excuse to cheer Sam up a little.

Oh, Matt realized. No, that wasn’t sad.

The night nurse had given Sammy the good drugs after last week. He was high as a kite, bless him. Kept running into walls and shit. Matt had dragged him up out of the dog beds twice now.

He informed Peter of the damaged elbow and got nothing but keyboard smashes in return.

This was followed by Sam stumbling out of his room and half up the stairs to make pitiful sounds when he couldn’t make them stay still long enough to climb the rest of them. Foggy shook his head and told Matt to go “strap that kid to the bed, for god’s sake. He’s gonna tear more stitches. And go text for him before he drops his phone again.”

Sammy was coming along great.

He held his phone out to Matt when Matt came down to stand over him on the stairs.

“They’re yellin’,” he slurred.

Yeah, Matt figured.

“Bed,” he said.

“It’s too hot,” Sam said.

No, pathetic ball of humanity. That was the fever, bud.

“Open the window,” Matt said.

“I have a window?”

Bless.

“Up you go,” Matt said.

“DON’T TOUCH ME. Nooooo. Teach, noooooo.”

 ---

 MM: Peter stop texting him. he can’t read his texts rn. Zero tolerance for opioids.

PP: for WHAT

MM: he’s fine. lightly stabbed. Fractured elbow.

MJ: MATT

MM: yes?

MJ: tell him to get better for us

NL: ;__; please?

MM: he will be fine. He’s supposed to be sleeping this off.  

MJ: can you keep us updated?

MM: why

PP: he’s our partner?

MM: ?

MM: I thought he was Ned’s main

NL: AJDF:AKSDFJASDFa

NL: DOES HE TALK ABOUT ME??

MJ: dude

NL: my b my b sry sry

NL: does he talk about me DD?

MM: no

NL: cool cool cool that’s fine

PP: ned

NL: it’s casual that’s cool

MJ: oh my god

NL: it doesn’t mean anything. That makes sense.

MM: peter what is happening?

PP: ned has decided that no texting means that sam hates him and no longer wants to be part of our relationship

NL: TELL HIM IM SORRY

PP: remember how you told me I have rejection issues?

MM: Ned he’s fine. He’s not mad. He’s high.

NL: [pikawat.png]

MJ: *coughs*

NL: oh shit my bad. I mean.

NL: what do you mean?

MM: I mean he likes you. He just hates talking about weaknesses. Ergo he hates talking about you.

MJ: ah, yes. I see now. The superhero logic. The forest has reappeared before me.

NL: OWO

MM: what does this mean?

PP: it’s a face. Like a super interested cat

NL: shut up

NL: so he likes me back?

MJ: no

PP: no

MM: I presume so? I don’t know kid. I just said he doesn’t talk about it.

NL: DD I will pay you in computer repairs to find out for me

MM: to find out if Sam likes you??

NL: yes

MM: what part of his obsession is confusing you

MJ: ASHDAF:SDF

PP: harsh

NL: all of it.

NL: okay so here’s the thing. We got like, matchy matchy stuff, right? Cause that’s what couples do. But he never wears his?? And like, we’ve been playing these games online, like, trying to beat each other, but he just stops playing halfway through? And if we’re watching a movie, it’s fine for the first half, but then he gets quiet and I just end up nattering away about nothing for like an hour and I can’t read the silence DD. I can’t read it. And Peter’s a liar

PP: okay no it is WELL established that I can’t lie what are you even talking about

NL: and he keeps going on about how sam’s shy, but he’s NOT shy. And we were fine until this week, but like, obviously, he’s high and not reading his messages and stuff, but idk am I making this into a big deal? From your end?

MM: What was that face, Peter?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

MJ: ASDFAeirwieawewdflajwe

MJ: NED LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE OLD MAN

NL: SHUT UP. DD, please. Help me. Should I apologize? Is he bored of me? Does he want more time with Peter?

PP: what

PP: no pal I’m just a piece of ass in this situ

MJ: as you should be

PP: awwww

MM: ned Sammy’s fine?

NL:  omg ‘sammy’ that’s really cute do you think he’d mind if I called him that? You know. If he ever speaks to me again?

PP: DD just tell him everything is fine so we can all go to sleep without being woken up every 20 min for a crisis.

MM: I literally don’t know. He doesn’t talk about any of you.

NL: can you sneaky-ninja ask him?

  Matt could not with these children. Sam’s heartbeat was evening out. He was nearly back to sleep. Matt’s back couldn’t take hauling him up off the stairs in another half an hour, so he was going to stay right where he was, that was for damn sure.

“Samuel, you are dating three different flavors of spazz,” he told him.

Sam wriggled over and snuffled into his duvet.

Matt decided that that was an affirmative.

  MM: he says you’re all dramatic and to leave him alone to sleep.

NL: ;__;

PP: ned that is not rejection

NL: ok

MJ: this is embarrassing

NL: I’m just gonna crawl under the floorboards and waste away👍

PP: for fuck’s sake this is me-levels of drama

NL: DD can you tell him that if he’s ever down to just watch shit as friends that’s okay too?

MJ: NED. Matt’s literally out of this loop. And Sam’s probably unconscious.

MM: can confirm is now unconscious. I am exiting your drama.

PP: Dude remember when I said I was gonna drown myself in the sea? You are reaching those levels

NL: I JUST LOVE HIM

  Oh, aw.

  NL: And it’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like uncomfortable. I can text him less and let him do his work things and we don’t have to organize shit on the weekends. It’s totally fine

  These fuckin’ kids.

Matt grabbed Sam before he cracked his head against the wall and felt around for something to put between his forehead and it.

He fumbled out his phone in the meantime.

“Samuel,” he said into it, “When you wake up, come upstairs before taking the next pill.”

 ---

 Sam was in pain and grumpy as shit and his mood did not improve as he read through Matt’s messages.

“Two days and everyone loses their goddamn minds,” he said.

Pretty much.

“Ned loves you,” Matt teased.

“Ned needs one of those happy pills,” Sam deadpanned.

Hm. How about no?

Sam groaned and carefully melded himself to the table.

“Why don’t you wear the matchy-matchy stuff?” Matt asked, setting a bag of icy water on Sam’s shoulders. He made a soft sound of relief.

“I don’t want to get ‘em dirty,” Sam hummed.

Hm.

“Maybe if you wore them out a little bit, Ned would like that,” Matt offered.

Sam mulled this over.

“Nah,” he said. “I’ll just tell him I wear it to sleep.”

Matt was so proud.

He missed Foggy coming in halfway through that discussion.

He did not miss the lecture Foggy laid on both of them about lying to loved ones.

 ---

 Matt decided that Sam was far, far more emotionally repressed than he’d given the kid credit for. He was tickled pink.

Kirsten and Foggy were not. They called this ‘concerning behavior’ that needed ‘to be monitored in case of hidden injuries and self-harm.’

And like, man, it was as if they’d hard experience with this shit or something.

Matt decided to bypass their waffling and cornered Sam by trapping him in his duvet and demanding to know if he was hiding any injuries or self-harm.

Sam told him to get out of his room. His heartbeat did not react to the accusations, but rather to Matt’s ‘giant, heavy, albatross body’ assaulting him in his safe place.

Matt decided that this was proof that the emotional repression was, as he had always argued, doing exactly what it needed to: making Sam three times more functional as a human being.

Foggy took from that explanation that Matt was lying to him again.

Which, like, obviously.

But did Foggy need to know any of that?

Fuck no.

Only happy times with Matt Murdock here.

Smiling was somehow the wrong answer.

Smiling resulted in yelling. And then lots of loud heartbeats. And then something that looked a little like a fight, probably, to people with working eyes. But Matt knew that it wasn’t that.

It was just Foggy being hurt that Matt couldn’t tell him that Foggy’s homesickness was digging holes in his own resolve and mental wellbeing.

Sam popped up when Foggy went to go lay down to calm down and asked if everything was okay.

Matt told him it was.

Sam’s heart was not convinced. It started beating faster somehow.

Matt fully anticipated the texts that arrived later that night.

 ---

 PP: yo DD, you guys okay?

MM: why

PP: ‘cause Sam’s freaking out saying that you and Foggy were shouting again?

MM: ah

MM: no we’re okay. No biggie

PP: I smell bullshit

MM: carry on smelling then

PP: Matt do you ever think about how you’re like, an example to us all of how not to live?

MM: beg your pardon?

PP: I just mean like, you do shit and we all learn from your shit. Like, every day.

MM: ?

PP: Sam like dumped a pile of lies he’d been telling Ned in his lap and started crying for like half an hour and apologized for another 40 minutes and then hung up and won’t answer his phone.

MM: what was that face again? The cat one?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

PP: lol

 ---

 The apprentice was perhaps absorbing too much too fast. He flat out denied having had any emotional crisis.

His heart was dead even when he said it. He was getting too good at out-maneuvering that trick.

“Peter seems to think that you had one the other night,” Matt mused.

“Peter needs to mind his own business,” Sam sniffed.

Aha.

“You like Peter,” Matt pointed out.

“He’s fine,” Sam said.

“Fine or fine?”

“That’s nasty, Teach. Don’t be gross. That’s like your little brother.”

Oh, sure it was.

“If Peter is sussing out your lies, you’re not doing a good enough job,” Matt said. “What you need, kiddo, is an aura and a starting point.”

Sam paused in making a horrible grating noise with some tool in his hand.

“A starting point?” he asked.

Why yes, apprentice.

As in, if you start off with your walls up and don’t let them buckle so easily, so many of these problems can be avoided.

“Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what Foggy said to do?” Sam asked suspiciously.

Well, technically. The husband might be correct for normal humans, but they weren’t normal humans. And as much as Matt loved him and thought he was brilliant, Foggy would never truly grasp that Matt needed those lies.

He needed the repression. The bottling. The anger.

He needed all that shit to be shaken up in him and then capped by the helmet every night.

Doing that kept Matt safe. It kept others safe.

It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t pretty and yeah, Matt was pretty fucked up because of it.

But Stick hadn’t been wrong about everything.

Not even he could be wrong about everything.

“It’s called balance,” Matt said. “Think about it like this. You’re a teacher. You’re about to walk into a new class. You need to establish a respectful relationship between yourself and these kids. How do you do it? Do you start off nice? Or do you start off strict?”

Sam said nothing.

“I start off strict,” Matt said. “Because it’s infinitely easier to become nicer and to keep respect than it is to start off nice and get meaner.”  

Sam processed this.

“This sounds like an anti-Foggy sentiment,” he said.

No. It wasn’t anti-Foggy. Nothing was anti-Foggy.

“It’s nuance,” Matt said. “Intrapersonal relationships? Minimal repression. Interpersonal relationships, maximum repression. Don’t give them something to use against you”

Sam’s teeth clicked together as he worked his jaw.

“Talk to Ned and Peter,” he said. “Walls up to everyone else.”

Everyone else. Yes.

“I can do that.”

Yeah, Matt knew. Sam did it to pretty much anyone he didn’t immediately take a liking to at the firm.

“I can do that,” Sam repeated.

Woah. Wait. Hold on there, slugger. Nuance, remember?

“I’m just gonna hate the entire world,” Sam said. “Thanks, Teach. That’s a big help.”

 ---

 PP: Matt

MM: Peter

PP: you know that Sam fucks with you daily right?

MM: …I forget sometimes

PP: lol you guys are funny

  That little shit. Fine.

Do whatever. See if Matt cared.

Goddamn kids and their goddamn love affairs.

Whatever. Fuck ‘em.

Let them learn the bullshit on their own time. Matt had better things to do.

 ---------------

Matt and Foggy and Kirsten have their own polycule goin on with folks entering and leaving it as need be. And sometimes you just have to make Sam/Ned content because it is unerringly adorable.

[altumvidetur]

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs (KuroDai)

Fic Recs Masterpost

Moving on with my ongoing trend of sharing all of my fic recs to help give people stuff to read while isolated at home, it’s time for another of my Haikyuu!! OTPs, KuroDai!

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Let’s go!

will you stay with me my love, for another day?, by amaanogawa

“Are you a Shinigami?”

The man raises his brows, clearly surprised. “What makes you think that?”

“You appeared out of thin air, you’re dressed in all black, you have a notebook with my name in it that tells you I’m sick, and you said that it was my time.”

“…alright, I guess I was a bit obvious, but in my defense you’re not supposed to be able to see me. And the black is a personal choice, really.”

Kurodai Weekend 2k17, Day 1 | August 25: Spirits ( Shinigami AU | Yokai and Exorcist AU )

breathe me in (like the air tonight), by amaanogawa

"Kuroo learns that he’s never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he does now, when Sawamura’s face is bathed in moonlight on the streets of residential Tokyo."

Kurodai week 2k17: Sports Swap AU / Same Highschool AU.

Not entirely scientific, by Ellessey

Kuroo is totally accustomed to the feel of Daichi’s body, but even so, it hasn’t gotten old. The broad bare shoulders that he leans on sleepily in the morning, or the strong thighs that support him when Daichi’s classroom is empty and Kuroo can’t resist getting on his lap and calling him Sawamura-sensei (and every other filthy thing he can think of to turn his husband’s cheeks bright red).

But especially, on nights like this—wintery ones when the walk home from the train station is frigid and dark—he has not, in any way, lost his appreciation for Daichi's warmth.

--

A small study of the heat of Daichi's skin, as told by Kuroo Tetsurou.

Take the Long Road Home, by pepperfield

When Azumane Asahi goes missing before his engagement meeting with Kozume Kenma, what other option is there but for Daichi to impersonate his brother and fake his way through a first date with Asahi's fiance?

Okay, let's be realistic - there were probably at least four other options.

Unfortunately, Tetsurou couldn't come up with any of them either, so now he's here flirting with Kenma's future husband while trying to keep his web of deceit from collapsing.

It's going to be an eventful day.

like a properly calculated algorithm, by astroturfwars

Kuroo’s got a hand in his hair, pushing it out of his face so he can read properly, and one of the first non-calculus thoughts Daichi has all night is: well, that’s a nice change of scenery.

The second non-calculus thought Daichi has is: shit.

warm, by raewrites

It's at the very edge that Daichi finds himself reaching desperately for the flames licking his skin, and it's always Kuroo who pushes him over.

hey now, the past is told by those who win, my darling, by momitchi

"Quit focusing on the past, Sawamura," Kuroo said, smirk evident in his tone. "If you keep doing that, how can you expect our teams to play each other at nationals?"

do you want to die together, by roisale

(the things you gain when you are in a jaeger: one of them is a time bomb tied with the noose made of hope around your neck, but the other is the guarantee that when you are side by side with your partner, there will never be anything left unsaid.)

"do you want to die together?" - the time they do, and the time they don't.

the faster we’re falling, by raewrites

Sawamura Daichi is really hot.

But also so much more.

And it’s a huge fucking problem.

see: fond, by raewrites

Kuroo brings flowers to their first official date.

Okay, a flower. One he had picked on his way there, growing out of a crack in the sidewalk, probably stepped on at some point.

The flower is a dandelion, specifically.

(“A weed?”

“It’s not a weed, it’s a flower! Look at the…those little yellow bits are considered petals, right?”

“It’s a weed.”)

And Daichi (embarrassingly enough) falls in love with him right then and there.

play in the petals, by tsuruko

This time, he buys red roses without looking up a meaning.

ride, by astroturfwars

In which there are cars, kissing, and cute dogs.

I’d Follow, by magic

When Daichi’s given a new chance at life, it comes at a price. He figures it’s worth it.

dialogues, by inverse

a series of conversations. for kurodai week 2014.

Be Good to Me, by tinycrows

“Not only am I into that,” Kuroo says slowly, perfecting the razor sharp smirk that he knows turns Daichi on--even if he has never admitted it, “but I guarantee you’re going to love it even more.”

catch and release, by evils

"Sawamura-kun, don't tell me you're actually a virgin?"

Daichi flushes a deep red and Kuroo's grin turns positively wicked.

made me give in to you, by astroturfwars

Kuroo’s always been one to take opportunity where it presents itself, if she thinks it’s worth the risk and the effort and the time, and she’s almost sure that Sawamura, with her small steady hands and lightning-flash smile and peculiar unassuming slyness, is worth the risk.

(A series of drabbles, wherein Kuroo is bad at flirting and Daichi is, somehow, very much charmed.)

let’s conspire to ignite, by downmoon

Kuroo likes to pretend the squeezing around his heart isn’t from the way Daichi shifts his awkward gaze from Oikawa to him, and he doesn’t overanalyze the smile that creeps across Daichi’s face, the warmth that lights up his eyes.

It’s just a trick of the light.

Probably.

manage me, i’m a mess, by raewrites

Four times in which Kuroo Tetsurou makes Sawamura Daichi question everything he’s ever believed in, and one of the (many) times it clicks.

accidentally on purpose, by drifloon

“Calm down,” Tetsurou said. “It’s not like she’ll fail you.”

“That’s true, “ Sawamura said, exhaling again. “If she does, I’ll complain. Thanks, though.” He lifted his hand for a one-armed hug.

“No problem,” Tetsurou said, and when they separated, he kissed Sawamura chastely on the lips.

Shit, he thought. His face was very warm.

eleven centimeters to infinity, by raewrites

Infinities, Kuroo thinks, exist in these increments of eleven centimeters, increments made surpassable when Daichi tilts his chin just enough to defy them, just enough to overcome a distance Kuroo had thought insurmountable for so long.

in between being young and being right, by cenli

Everything is lit up rippling-blue and smells of chlorine and sounds like the incessant hum of a filtration system and Kuroo is looking right back at him, eyes soft.

OR

Daichi lets Kuroo convince him to sneak into their college's outdoor swimming pool at three in the morning.

such a kiss, by Metis_Ink

“…Can’t you do that anywhere else?” Daichi asks, trying to focus on the music sheets in front of him.

“Sorry, you took the best seat in the house,” Kuroo says, nodding to the window, where the sunset swept over Daichi from above the rooftops. He smirks. “You’ll be happy to know that you’re a lot more photogenic than that mini-fridge I was planning on putting in that spot before you threatened to feed me your rosin.”

Goodnight, Good Morning, by kythen

Training camp arc. All Daichi wants is a good night's sleep, which is impossible when Kuroo keeps coming up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why he should let him crash with him.

heartbeat, by squidmemesinc

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Daichi shifts over on the bed a little more. Kuroo’s shoulders are so broad, even when he’s turned sideways like he is. Hospital beds really weren’t made for two people.

The Fourth Time, by kiyala

Another weekend, another open day, another talk about the benefits of this particular university's engineering program. It's not like Tetsurou actually plans or even intends to bump into Sawamura at these things, but this is the fourth time it's happened in a row so far.

Location, by tastewithouttalent

"Daichi’s very sure that no one would expect to find him where he is: in the darkest corner around the main gym, hidden by shadows so deep they might as well be a curtain, pinning Nekoma’s captain to the wall by the hold Daichi has on his shoulders and the press of their hips together." Daichi and Kuroo linger where they shouldn't be.

small magics au, by kythen

(Summary by me: two fics, KuroDai with powers, Daichi has the ability to grow flowers wherever he goes, Kuroo is so smitten there’s barely a word to explain just how smitten he is) 

Roman Numerals, by notebookthief

A study of the progression from rivals to friends to lovers.

Mounties, by notebookthief

Daichi spends his summer locked in his apartment with Kuroo, curled in their own hazy world. Sequel to Roman Numerals.

If I Could Change Your Mind, by tookumade

“I’m kind of excited to meet him,” Bokuto says, roughly an hour before Karasuno are scheduled to arrive. “He sounds interesting.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow at him. “I just told you that there’s not a lot about him that stands out—how is that interesting?”

“You’ve told me a lot about how he apparently doesn’t stand out,” Bokuto replies easily. “You don’t usually talk about someone so much."

-

(Or, Sawamura Daichi shows up like a breath of fresh air, and Kuroo Tetsurou doesn't stand a chance.)

the world stops turning for us, by kythen

(we've got all the time in the world)

Post-Christmas lazy days. Daichi isn't exactly sure when he started living out his entire life with Kuroo.

Pucker Up, Lost Boy, by svedone

Kuroo Tetsurou and his stupid kissing booth are going to be the death of him. At least Daichi's not lost anymore.

Gross, by kythen

Going by all laws of logic, the both of them shouldn't look this cute together.

light, by kythen

A study of a crush, as seen through the eyes of one Kuroo Tetsurou.

one touch, by Recluse

It is a promise from the universe that opportunity will come, that there is a hand you are meant to hold.

Boyfriend-Jacket Style, by whatcaniwriteinthis

Daichi likes wearing Kuroo’s jacket- it makes him feel small and also cozy. He also kinda likes the way Yui chokes on her spit when he shows up to class.

boyfriend shirts and thigh highs, by kythen

Smut practice that somehow developed into a domestic sex series.

Personal Space Invaders, by kythen

Kurodai Week Day 4: Confessions/Mutual Pining

Training camp arc. Kuroo has no sense of personal space and Daichi has a problem.

Lifeguard Dude, by surveycorpsjean

It's spring break.

Everything is going great, until Daichi looks up and sees the hottest lifeguard he's ever seen in his life.

“That’s a good look for you”, by tmntransformer

Kuroo had told him, multiple times in fact, that there was no need to ever visit or pick him up from his new part-time job. Which of course meant that Sawamura had to go and visit him at his new part-time job.

distance, by WildKitte

Daichi knows to expect the call. Kuroo has always been a romantic at heart.

proximity, by WildKitte

Set directly after chapter 325, so HEAVY SPOILERS FOR MANGA! Two very exhausted teams are gathered on the bleachers, crows and cats huddled together. It gains stares and surprised second takes from the spectators of the previous game - but there they are, Karasuno and Nekoma, sitting all mixed up together.

A sequel to distance

Bad/Bed Hair Day, by kythen

After Kuroo moves into Daichi's dorm room, Kuroo's hair undergoes a transformation. Cue an identity crisis and Kuroo and Daichi's many attempts to make things right again.

My piece for the Domestic Kurodai Zine: Midnight to Morning Coffee!

Hypothetically Speaking, by Ellessey

'Kuroo's door looks just like Daichi's, but a more faded brown. Daichi lifts a hand to knock, considers turning around and leaving, and then mentally shakes himself. You can do this. Kuroo is a good guy. Just go in there and be normal. Understand statistics. Chill the hell out.

He knocks and the door opens almost immediately, and Daichi cannot chill out. He cannot chill out at all.

Kuroo's chest is bare. And wet. A towel is wrapped low on his hips.

"You're kidding me," Daichi says.'

--

Daichi needs help understanding two things: Statistics, and Kuroo Tetsurou.

Seen a Million Faces (but I’ve been waiting for you), by Hyeyu

In all his time as a dance instructor, Kuroo has had his fair share of newcomers walk into his classes at Nekoma. But there were dance newbies, and then there was Sawamura Daichi.

(aka the Dance!AU in which Kuroo teaches dance, Sawamura tries his best, and circumstances keep getting in the damn way.)

Smile For Me, Baby, by kiafeles

Perhaps he chose grape because subconsciously he wants to punish himself for such awful thoughts, and really, he can’t change his mind now, because that would just draw more attention to how awful he is at talking to his dentist. 

First Sparks, by kythen

Shapeshifting AU. A territorial dispute between the crows and the cats, and its aftermath.

Alternatively, Daichi meets the new neighbours and Kuroo finds the hardest way to form a friendship.

dissonance in stability, by amaanogawa

dis·so·nance /ˈdisənəns/ noun

· a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.

OR

"It's absolutely ridiculous, really, two grown men lying on an elevator floor, chewing bubble gum side by side at 5 in the morning. Daichi would never have thought that he'd be here, doing something so unbelievable.

And yet, here he was."

many names for home, by kythen

Summary by me: space!AU where Kuroo is MIA and Daichi is desperately trying to find him.

Don’t Send Me Anymore, by orphan_account

“I can’t stay, Kuroo. I’m compromised,” he says, and he doesn’t meet Kuroo’s eyes. There’s something in the way that he says compromised that makes Kuroo’s heart fall to his stomach.

--

Daichi and Kuroo talk circles around one another.

naked fools, by sweggscellent

“I heard him jerking off last night,” Daichi is lamenting to Suga the next day over milkshakes.

“You what?” Suga asks, and Daichi groans, putting his head in his hands. “That hasn’t been a problem before now?”

“No,” Daichi whines. “Well, I mean, yes. But last night he left his door open.”

Suga snorts. “That sounds like a sign if I’ve ever heard one.”

Rainy with a Chance of..., by kythen

The things that happen when it's raining and you're alone in Tokyo.

aetate mirum, by Hyeyu

A series of drabbles/fics set within an RPG-like alternate universe that's (indulgently) populated with knights, mages and the like.

kick drums on your bedroom floor, by farseersfool

"You sent me pity nudes."

"I did, yes."

the second our eyes met (baby i was yours), by kythen

Prompt:

"Hey remember when I said it was 'just a crush' and that I would 'literally never fall so low'?"

"Yeah?"

"I was wrong. I'm entirely screwed. Help me, please."

The Wrong Number One, by PandorasBox

“Tell me why everyone’s staring at me.”

“That’s not your jersey."

(Accidental Jersey Swap)

come a little closer, by phanatics

“Shit, bro, I think you killed him.”

“Bokuto, I swear to God, that’s not even funny.” Daichi is pulled a little further back into consciousness as cool fingers flutter across his face. “I can’t believe I’m a murderer at 19. That’s too young to go to jail, man.”

Daichi wishes that he could pretend to be dead a little longer, so he doesn’t have to face whatever idiots are hovering above him right now, but instead he wrenches one eye open with a weary sigh to accept his fate like a man.

-

In which Kuroo isn't nearly as smooth as he thinks he is and Daichi believes that he really doesn't deserve this.

(Day 1: first meeting / next time)

something good can work, by phanatics

In which Kuroo meddles and Daichi becomes his unwilling sidekick.

(Day 4: blind date / shotgun wedding)

Something Just Like This, by kythen

Kurodai Week Day 1: First Meeting / Next Time

-

But she said, where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk? I'm not looking for somebody With some superhuman gifts Some superhero Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to Somebody I can kiss

(Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

teach you a thing (or two), by Spring_Emerald

“Are you dating Kuroo-sensei?”

For KuroDai Week 2017 Day 2: Sport Swap / Same High School

Eager, by Ellessey

'Daichi focuses on the direction of the entrance again, waiting for someone to come in with black hair and a red tie. These seem like really insufficient details to go on, now that he sees that fucking everyone here is wearing a tie. (Including him. Suga tied it for him.)

He's just about to pull his phone back out and check the time, when he catches a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. A slim red tie, on a slim, tall man, and a set of dark, angled eyes that are scanning the tables until they land on Daichi.'

--

Daichi doubts Suga when his friend sets him up on a blind date, but once he meets Kuroo he realizes, as he has before and will again, that Suga is always right.

nothing ventured, nothing gained, by kythen

Kurodai Week Day 3: Childhood / Adulthood

Kuroo wants to make Daichi come without touching his cock.

Kurodai Week Day 7: Free Day

Daichi wants to make Kuroo come however he wants.

Perks, by Ellessey

The first thing Kuroo wants to do, after every game, is see Daichi. Sometimes this is really easy, when he’s playing close to Tokyo, but other times it can take hours before he gets to talk to him. He still does, though—win or lose, four o’clock in the afternoon or nearly midnight. As soon as he can manage it he’s on his phone, or his laptop, or sometimes even a payphone, so he can hear Daichi’s voice and decompress. So he can feel like he’s home.

Tonight he’s on his laptop and it’s close to one in the morning, but he’s not going to sleep yet, not without this.

--

Kuroo and Daichi find (slightly filthy) ways to stay close to each other, even when they have to be apart.

to the ends of the earth with you, by amaanogawa

(Summary by me: Apocalypse AU, with a lot of angst but ultimately a happy ending.)

the shield and the spear, by kythen

Kurodai Week Bonus Day 8: Mythical Creatures / Super Powers

Daichi finds himself on a journey, his memories gone and a man with beautiful golden eyes as his only guide.

Sense, by Ellessey

'“What are you—felt what?” Daichi asks.

“This,” Kuroo says, and he lifts one hand, waves it carefully through the empty space in front of him, and paints the air with color. Bright lines of orange and gold and red appear in the path of his fingertips.

Daichi’s mouth falls open.

“Yours is cooler,” Kuroo says, smiling wryly.'

--

Daichi has never met another person like him before, someone he doesn’t have to hide his abilities from. But the first day at a new school, surrounded by the same normal faces, he finally meets someone different.

hold me (very) close, by symphorine

At the time, it seemed like a good idea.

Scratch that. It was never a good idea. Kuroo is good at a lot of things, but not enough to fool himself into thinking that inviting his ex (who he may or may not have lingering feelings for) to stay with him, even just for a few days, is anywhere in the vicinity of smart.

But hey, he's a grown adult, and so is Daichi, and he's just doing him a favor! It was staying in Kuroo's apartment or finding a cheap hotel, and at least, after two years of rooming, and dating, in college, they know how to coexist.

-

Daichi, now an author successful enough to be interviewed for a TV show, needs a place to stay for the occasion. Kuroo offers his apartment before he realizes the flaw in that plan.

It's just a few days of living with Daichi again. Everything's gonna be fine.

Before You Forget, by kythen

Spirited Away-inspired AU. There are some memories that always stay with you.

While moving back to Miyagi, Daichi loses his son in the forest and goes in search of him, only to find himself in a different world altogether where he meets a certain shadowy spirit.

by your side, by kythen

Keep your friends close but your frenemies closer.

blink if you love me, by kythen

Daichi notices something about Kuroo when they kiss. 

did you receive my wink?, by kythen

Kuroo needs help asking Sawamura out. Obviously, he turns to Bokuto.

shot through the heart, by kythen

Daichi only has one chance to take Kuroo Tetsurou down.

all the lives we’ve lived (were for this moment), by kythen

In all of the twenty-five lives Kuroo has lived, Daichi has always been there. This life is no exception.

Kuroo just needs to meet him first.

The Neighbourly Thing, by kythen

Scene: Bokuto in front of Daichi and Kuroo's apartment with a basket of fruit.

lingering, echoing, by kythen

Those who we love and lose never really do stop loving us.

me, you, me, you, by kythen

Daichi and Kuroo and their eternal rivalry through the years. 

Youkai and Exorcist AU, by kythen

Summary by me: wherein Daichi is an exorcist, Kuroo is a nekomata, and, together, they fight crime. I mean, other youkai.

i like the way you work it, by Spring_Emerald

“Always a professional, Sawamura. And here I was excited to finally get some.”

Daichi gives him a dry look. “You won’t be getting some, if you don’t pay attention.”

Kuroo winks. “I’m all yours and ready, baby.”

Daichi lets the blatant innuendo go, as it’s serving a purpose at the moment.

“Good boy.”

For Kurodai Weekend 2017 Day 2: Action (Undercover Agent AU)

Happiness is where you find it, by kythen

Kurodai Weekend Day 3 - Family: Established Family AU / Single Parent AU

Family life in the Sawamura-Kuroo household, home to two dads and one baby girl.

i’ve got you, darling, by kythen

Daichi has a bad day and Kuroo is there to comfort him.

When Summoning, Please Use Caution, by kythen

Kuroo was definitely not the demon Daichi expected to summon.

Viewfinder, by blueacorn

(Summary by me: cute bakery AU where Daichi is a baker, Kuroo is a photographer, and they’re both corny. There’s cute IwaOi in there too.)

chosen, by ryekamasaki

Prompt:

Kuroo in the bushes with cat food.

hope will take its toll, by Spring_Emerald

Kuroo doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t think that Daichi’s affection for him, or his affection for Daichi, for that matter, is fickle, that something like winning or losing a match could change. He has more faith in their relationship than that. He has more faith in himself and Daichi than that. But, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t part terrified for what’s going to happen tomorrow.

slide show, by Spring_Emerald

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. I’m here to present a pitch about ‘Why Sawamura Daichi,” he points at Daichi, who is sitting at the foot of the table, for emphasis, “should date me’”.

forever starts from now, by Spring_Emerald

Daichi shakes his head, but smiles at the sentiment. “After today, you won’t get rid of me anymore.”

“I could say the same to you,” Kuroo says back. He then leans forward and rests his forehead against Daichi’s. “I don’t ever want to be rid of you.”

“Good,” Daichi replies in a whisper.

i’d still say yes, by Spring_Emerald

Kuroo covers Daichi’s hand with his and it is as warm as Daichi remembers. “I missed you, Sawamura,” he admits, eyes trained on Daichi seriously. Daichi is lost in Kuroo’s eyes that he couldn’t even control himself when he replies with a soft “I missed you too.”

Kurodai Kinktober 2017, by kythen

A collection of kurodai smut oneshots for Kinktober 2017.

Good Game, by byesweetheart

Working for a gay porn production company for a living—also known as fucking other guys on camera in a room with ten bored crew members for a living—had about as much drama as you could expect, with nearly 40 actors working together in various ways (and positions). That is to say, there was drama always.

to the scars on your fists, by amaanogawa

"Sawamura has power, has foundation, but Kuroo’s strength lies in his speed and flexibility. And just as Sawamura has countless hours of practice marring the skin on his fists, Kuroo has the same, as do the rest of the fighters here today, all for the same goal.

Victory. Nothing but that."

Kurodai Weekend #2, Day 1 | December 8: Ennoshita Productions ( Haikyuu Fighter | Final Haikyuu Quest )

your hand in mine, by kythen

Kurodai Weekend Day 2 - Celebration: Birthday / Wedding

Today is the first day of the rest of their life.

if you travel through the woods, by kythen

There is something out there and Daichi can sense it, even if he can’t see it. Daichi has always felt at home in the forest, filled with trees and plants and animals, all familiar to him, but these woods are different. None of them have ever been this far away from home and these woods are strange to them.

-

Daichi leads his group through the woods in search of safety.

Simply the best, by Poteto

Ladybug is gone and Chat Noir is the only hope the city has. Daichi thinks that's enough.

Under Night’s Veil, by Kath

Rumor has it that young Lord Sawamura is protected by the darkness itself. Nobody knows he is in love with it.

Birthday Wishes, by kythen

It‘s Daichi's birthday so he can be a little bit selfish.

words can’t espresso how much you mean to me, by amaanogawa

"(Long story short, Kuroo slipped into Daichi’s life where he fits like a puzzle piece, like he was always meant to be there, and it had all somehow started with a cup of overpriced coffee and a lopsided smile.)"

me and my heart (we got issues), by Spring_Emerald

For the prompt: "Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you"

-----

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kuroo asks softly, a bit unsure.

“Looking at you like what?”

“Like you want to kiss me,” he says easily with a smirk.

try me, by lances

Having company was nice, even if they were perfect strangers with different study goals in mind. It was a shared peace that Kuroo could appreciate, a tacit encouragement—

“Shit, 'kaashi!”

—and if asked, Kuroo could name the exact moment Sawamura’s fingers fossilized over his keyboard.

(or: akaashi tires to get a rise out of kuroo, but all it does is get him a date instead)

paved with good intentions, by Spring_Emerald

The note details the time and place for the said date, and below is a line that says ‘Be there or else…’

-----

For KuroDai VDay Anthology 2018

I’ll love you for a hundred years, and then more, by kythen

Kuroo thinks Daichi would like them, even if Daichi has never expressed a particular fondness for roses. Or, he would have to like them because Kuroo has already purchased an entire armful of them, an entire army of red roses, a hundred buds strong.

-

For Kurodai VDay Anthology 2018

till it be morrow, by Spring_Emerald

“Kuroo, for the last time, we’re hardly Romeo and Juliet. Drop the act.”

-----

A pair of “star-crossed” lovers take their time.

waking the dreamer, by kythen

Daichi dreams.

why don’t you meet me in the middle, by amaanogawa

Based on this popular tumblr post.

"the reason i don’t go to the doctor anymore is because i went once and the medical intern was super young and super hot so naturally i got nervous, and when he measured my heart rate he said ‘hmm it’s…faster than average’ and then he smirked. cos he knew. cos i’m not subtle. cos i’m a dumb motherfucker. anyway imagine your OTP"

OR

Daichi goes to the hospital and gets more than he expected.

i’ve got a crush on you, by kythen

In the autumn of his seventeenth year, Kuroo is afflicted by a crush that never quite leaves him.

got a better solution, by Spring_Emerald

For the prompt: "When it comes down to it, it's just a game."

-----

“Is that how a winner should act, Sawamura?” He lightly elbows Daichi. “First you don’t approach me, and now you’re ignoring me? That’s breaking my heart, you know.”

i feel your warmth, and it feels like home, by peaches

in which Tetsurou and Daichi share a college dorm, and all the feelings that come with it; a story told in seven parts.

you will always be my dear, by amaanogawa

"So one thing led to another and here they were, all of them crowded into a small yakiniku restaurant on some back road in Tokyo with Daichi feeling vaguely like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

He hasn't seen Kuroo since they broke up 3 years ago, tear stained shoulders and a bittersweet smile on a windy platform as he boarded a train that whisked him away to the other side of the country in a matter of hours."

Kurodai Week 2018 Day 2 | May 7: Getting Together | Post Break-up

pancakes, bacon and eggs, by kythen

Summary by me: ABO KuroDai, with Alpha!Kuroo and Omega!Daichi, mating cycles and they somehow still manage to be dense as rocks. 

there you are, i’ve been looking for you forever., by amaanogawa

"It's a story that he loves to tell every chance he got, about how Daichi opened his mouth and starlight bled out like water colours on paper, filling in the hollows of Kuroo's previously monochrome world."

OR

A story about finding one's soulmate- because when you know, you just know.

Kurodai Week 2018 Day 5 | May 10: Music

The Sea and the Shore, by kythen

Summary by me: Mermaid!AU, with Daichi as a mermaid trying to deal with his attraction to human!Kuroo. 

it’s hard when you’re young, by kythen

Kuroo is doing well in high school. His volleyball team is on track to Nationals and his grades aren't even slipping that much. Why his mom thinks he needs a tutor is beyond him.

A story about growing up, moving out, and falling in love.

(let me stay) by your side, by kythen

Kuroo fractures his dominant arm. Luckily, Daichi is there to look after him.

(No, they aren’t dating.)

falling another moment into your gravity, by amaanogawa

"Nothing beats Daichi on the court. He’s a force to be reckoned with on any day of the week, but the minute he stands on the court there just isn’t any question left at all. A powerhouse of stability, of strength, and a quiet kind of terrifying. People are left breathless in his wake.

Kuroo is always one of them."

if you ask, by murphym

Three months.

Three months and Kuroo's still not over Daichi.

between us captains, by owlsshadows

Kuroo feels thankful now for the rigorousness of this weekend camp, the tension of each practice match claiming his focus entirely, dragging his eyes away from certain thighs and placing them on the ball instead. The intervals, he finds a bit harder – sweat glistening on Sawamura’s temple and dropping from his square-shaped jaw, water bottle held by strong fingers, lifted to delicious-looking lips by strong arms – and he escapes more and more frequently to the corridors, marching down to the furthermost of restrooms to wash his face.

It's Kuroo's birthday, and he is called out by Sawamura for some captainly advice.

Touch You Not, by kythen

(Summary by me: ABO!Teacher!AU KuroDai, with Alpha!Kuroo and Omega!Daichi, and so - much - pining.)

Illuminated, by Ellessey

' “Are you going blind?” Daichi asked on the eleventh night, when the situation had not improved at all. “Will you trip if you don’t have the light of a thousand suns to show you the way?”

“A well-lit home is a well-loved home, Sawamura,” Kuroo told him so solemnly that Daichi thought this might be an actual saying, until he googled it while lying in bed and found that Kuroo was just full of shit. '

--

After weeks of Kuroo leaving all the lights in his and Daichi's apartment on, their electricity bill (and their living situation) is in peril. But even with all that illumination, there may be something about his boyfriend that Daichi isn't seeing...

flower, flour, perish, by pepperfield

Tetsu and Daichi used to rule the streets of Torono together, but fifteen years apart changes some things.

Their feelings for one another isn't one of them.

Breakfast & Dinner & Me & You, by basilsprout

"Daichi figures the two of them must look ridiculous right now, crouched in the middle of the kitchen, snickering and weeping and frantically seeking relief from the chemical warfare of a farm vegetable. But seeing Kuroo like this, snorting unattractively with snot beginning to dribble from his nose, makes him realize that this is a side of Kuroo that only he has the privilege of seeing, and he wouldn’t have it any other way."

--

It's been a week since Daichi and Kuroo have moved in together, and they spend the day doing domestic things.

all wrapped up in you, by kythen

He never thought that he would become this clingy, this needy, but after spending years with Kuroo by his side, living alone has become unfamiliar to him.

-

Kuroo stays away from home for a work experience programme and Daichi adopts a new habit involving his boyfriend's clothes.

express hospitality, by Spring_Emerald

“Daichi, babe, my handsome whirlwind,” Kuroo says forcefully, staring down at him and waits until he’s got Daichi’s full attention. “Calm down.”

“Auntie is coming and this is the state of our apartment,” Daichi gestures frustratingly around them, “I can’t calm down.”

Peach, by carriecmoney

(Summary by me: Bokuto has a dog, and his dog is a matchmaker. Also, Daichi in a firefighter uniform.)

“I’ve always been yours,” by kythen

It’s February 14th and I owe you a poem, but all I can think is: your hands and your mouth and your hands and oh, god your mouth. — “2/14” Trista Mateer

hey babe, are you garbage ‘cause i wanna take you out, by pepperfield

A collection of short standalone kurodai fics, each based on a trope/prompt!

I'm trying to get in the habit of writing short fic again; throw a prompt my way and I'll see what I can do!

Wet Dream, by kythen

Daichi has a wet dream about his alpha boyfriend, Kuroo. Thankfully, he is already in Kuroo's arms when he wakes up.

Staked through the heart, Stuck in my veins, by jadehqknb

Being the Chosen One shouldn't be so complicated. See vamp, stake vamp, go home and try to get homework done and sleep. So why is it, when it comes to Kuroo, Daichi's the one who ends up getting staked... in more ways than one?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, by kythen

Kurodai Week 2019 Day 7: Just Married / Childhood Friends

When Kuroo was a young boy, he lived in Miyagi and loved a girl with beautiful brown eyes and a smile like the sun. Fast forward eight years and when Kuroo’s father takes him back to Miyagi on a business trip, Kuroo jumps at the chance to reconnect with his first love—only to find out that his first love isn’t a girl at all.

yours, forevermore, by amaanogawa

They made a grave sin somewhere along the way, where loyalty morphed slowly into desire over the years and when Tetsurou had leaned in, somehow soft and sharp all at the same time Daichi had fallen headfirst into everything he was, blinded by his own love that he had once thought he could never receive in return.

But now it is time to reap the consequences of his weakness, for Tetsurou is a man destined for greatness and Daichi is a mere tool to be used in his quest for it.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | July 2019

Happy 28th! Sending out all my love to the authors and artists in this fandom! ♥ Here are all the fics I read and loved this month:

The sanctity of patience | scrunchyharry | historical - arranged marriage - royalty - 22k When young Lord Harry was chosen by King Louis of Bavaria to become his husband and prince consort, Harry thought all of his dreams had come through. His illusions came crashing down when he understood it meant living in isolation in the alpine castle of Neuschwanstein with a husband who turned out to be far from what he had hoped for. His illusions vanished, Harry will have learn to appreciate what has and even, perhaps, fall in love with his imperfect husband and his castle.

The Charles Compass Trilogy | SadaVeniren | fluff - humour - 8k Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

Stealing Flowers | lululawrence | mutual pining - humour - fluff - 4k The one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.

If You Wanna Try Me On | zimriya | The Devil Wears Prada AU - boss/employee relationship - 18k To be fair, Harry’d been half asleep when Niall convinced him to put in his CV in the first place. Like, Harry wants to be a proper serious journalist--he’s not about to give up that dream in favour of becoming a personal assistant at a fashion magazine, or...whatever. Harry’s not actually all that sure what Tomlinson Styles even is, beyond his ticket to fame or any of the other things Niall’d spouted off at him, but when he shows up for the interview and is unceremoniously shoved into an office with the Tomlinson part of that equation, all Harry can really think about is that he would like to be a Tomlinson-Styles. ...or the Devil Wears Prada AU that no one wanted. Sort of.

Play Me A Memory | jacaranda_bloom | strangers to lovers - kid fic - emotional hurt/comfort - fluff - 27k Louis lives with his nine-year-old son Jake in a peaceful beachside community on the east coast of Australia, working as an entertainment coordinator at the local five-star resort. Harry is a recluse who lives on millionaires row and writes musical scores for blockbuster movies. When the roots of a wayward willow tree create havoc at his home, Harry is forced to stay at the resort while repairs are carried out. Cue matchmaking storms, muffin preferences, laughter, love, and a whole lotta music.

No Love Like Your Love | Rearviewdreamer | a/b/o - enemies to friends - exes to lovers - soulmates - soulbonding - 43k When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.

Not (heart) Broken | glitteredcurls | soulmates - superpowers - mild hurt/comfort - 14k Every person is born with a unique, personal Ability and a soulmate. Abilities are developed from birth and treasured as parts of each person’s personality, while a soulmate is somewhat of an intimidating prospect; the minute two soulmates are in contact with each other, their powers are voided, only to be reinstated when they regain their distance. How is Harry, a young healer, supposed to feel about the possibility of losing his helpful healing Ability with one look of his unknown soulmate? He figures it can’t be too inconvenient. Until Harry meets them and, well, it kind of is...

Fall in love with the moon (and everything beautiful) | louistomlinsons | fluff - light angst - anxiety - friends to lovers - 10k Louis and harry work in a bookstore together and harry tells dumb jokes and they fall in love

There You Are | lovelarry10 | stripper/exotic dancer - mutual pining - angst - divorce - cheating - emotional hurt/ comfort - 82k Harry’s entire life has fallen apart - in one night, his carefully planned future is suddenly uncertain. Then he meets Louis.

Tiptoe Through Our Shiny City | graceling_in_a_suit | inspired by Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - miscommunication - mistaken identity - strangers to lovers - famous/non famous - 8k Where’s Fluffy Announces Secret London Show TONIGHT!' Harry stopped breathing. “Pinch me, Niall,” he mumbled. The story of how Harry sees his favourite band live for the first time, and maybe falls in love along the way. AU Loosely inspired by Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Loosely.

You Have to Retreat to Advance | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - fake/pretend relationship - strangers to lovers - 18k The one where Harry is expected to bring his longterm omega to the company's mountain retreat. Since he hadn't told anyone that they'd broken up months ago, he now has to find someone willing to play the part.

Shine On (You Crazy Diamond) | larrymaybe22 | 1970's - glam rock - famous/not famous - strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - angst - substance abuse - alcohol abuse - internalized homophobia - homophobic language - slow burn - 58k The year is 1974 and Britain’s glam rock scene is in full swing. Enter Louis, a broke and dejected student who finds himself on a tour bus of all places, working as a roadie for the enigmatic “womanizer” Harry Styles. Along the way, Louis discovers the cruelty of fame and that maybe there is more than meets the eye beyond the curls, cocaine, and crazy suits.

Could you love me anyway | SadaVeniren | canon compliant - post-The X Factor era - bdsm - bad bdsm etiquette - dom/sub - under-negotiated kink - subdrop - kink negotiation - mildly dubious consent - 13k Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Easier | allwaswell16 | a/b/o - soulmates - soul bond - exes to lovers - getting back together - angst - fate - destiny - 6k The last person Louis wants to see is his ex-boyfriend who also happens to be his soulmate.

Hot Buns | Snowy38 | TV show - hate to love - angst - drama - emotional hurt/comfort - 51k “You can call me Harry if you like.” “Is that your name?” Louis checked. Harry smirked. “Actually, it’s Harold but I hate it. I hate everything about my life but what do you care?” Louis licked his lips and caught his knees up under his arms. “I care enough to get you out of the gutter, mate,” he accused softly.

I'm Tripping Over Your Every Single Move | lookingfortherainbow | meet-cute - first dates - pining - fluff - 6k Harry is the local swimming star athlete and Louis is the lifeguard that turns Harry into a fish out of water.

The Aurora Zone | Anonymous | blind date - enemies to lovers - 19k The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

I've spent a lifetime running (and I always get away) | Anonymous | first meetings - fluff - 5k The eruption of an Icelandic volcano (the name of which Louis decidedly cannot pronounce) really shouldn't be the catalyst for a relationship with a boy he's only just met. Or // the one where Louis and Harry share the back of a car, a cramped bed on a dingy, highly unsafe boat, and their adoration for art (and perhaps each other).

Haunting Beauty | 4ureyesonly28 | 1980's - ghosts - fluff - 6k It’s 1988. Harry has just finished his first year of teaching English and looks forward to a relaxed break. Louis is a poltergeist and has different plans for Harry’s summer.

Meet Me in Montauk | make_this_feel_like_home | Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion - amnesia - strangers to lovers - lost love - angst - 84k The one where Harry has amnesia, Louis can't handle the pain and Lacuna Inc provides a unique service: the ability to erase a person from your memories.

Two to Tango (series) | rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife) ➊  Put Your Best Foot Forward - fluff - meet-cute - ballroom dancing - 6k Louis loses a bet and has to go learn waltz. Harry is the guy who won’t stop stepping on his foot. ➋  Af-fur-mative - fluff - 1k Harry is anxious about the first meeting between his moody cat and Louis.

Uni AU (series) | lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes) ➊  This Might Tickle - Larry - fluff - 4k Louis' been admiring Harry from afar until they become study partners for their first year anatomy class. ➋  When You Smile - Ziam - fluff - 2k Liam’s never seen Zayn smile during classes, but a trip to the zoo for their studies helps him see a lot more. ➌  The Doppler Effect - Larry - Halloween - fluff - 2k There's only one person who figures out Harry's Halloween costume ➍  A Work of Art - Ziam - smut - 4k Zayn meets Liam before he realises he’s the life model for his extra credit class. ➎  My Favourite Word - Larry - fluff - fake/pretend relationship - 3k Louis’ ex boyfriend won’t leave him alone, so Harry steps in.

With Words Unspoken | Anonymous | 1960's - 1970's - strangers to lovers - Louis is 49 - Harry is 47 - mentions of past divorce - fluff - fate - sexual awakening k The one where Louis is lost, Harry is an excellent tour guide, and age is no barrier to finding the love of your life.

Whipped Cream | writingstylinson | hearing impaired - pining - 24kk Harry isn't focused on anything except growing his online photography business and keeping his service dog at his side. It's important since he's always being undermined due to his deafness. The last thing Harry needs are his client's brother trying to convince him to go out on a date with him.

[bitway-arts]

title: What a Party characters: yuusaku, ryoken, aoi pairing: slight datastormshipping summary: Aoi invites Yuusaku to a party hosted by SOL. He doesn't want to be there, but maybe someone will turn his night around. {AU}

"Thanks for coming with me, Yuusaku.

"Don't mention it."

The boy gulped as he looked ahead, already dreading the event. Yuusaku was not one to be found in large social gatherings. He didn't like the crowds, the stuffy feeling, the forced conversations. Everything about it made him shudder to the mere thought. You'd never catch him at a formal, upper class, business like party setting. Ever.

Until tonight.

"You could have denied coming with me, you know?"

"Hm."

He knows. He's very aware that he could have denied Aoi's request. That he could be home and enjoying the night on his own or with Kusanagi. It was either logging into Vrains or helping his friend hack. Either one was a very tame activity compared to…a party.

But, this was a personal request from Aoi. She had asked him to come to SOL Technology's business party with her. It was more of a request from her brother, he found out. He wanted his sister to have someone to be with here. And Yuusaku was the ideal candidate.

Like him, she hardly spoke with others. Sure she was kind but didn't have many she would be able to call friends. Yuusaku was the closest person she could think of aside from their other mutual friend; Naoki. And while that boy might enjoy a night like this more than the two of them combined, he wasn't the type who could fit in at a party like this.

The boy hears a sigh come from Aoi and he glances over to the girl. She wore a white dress tied with a blue ribbon around her waist, another resting on her chest. Meanwhile, he was put into a suit that was almost identical to his school uniform. The only difference was this one was suffocating as it was passed down from Kusanagi and didn't quite fit.

Their eyes meet and he could see the apologies in her gaze already. It's his turn to sigh, not wanting her to let doubts plague her mind.

"Let's go in."

With a nod, they turn to the door. Yuusaku steps forward, pushing the door open and letting her follow in. Inside, the banquet hall is filled with a bunch of older folks. Most were in tuxedos and fancy, yet revealing enough dresses. It was something he would expect to see from a business party.

And he already hated it.

The amount of people filling this room was nauseating. All the chattering smell of alcohol wasn't something he was used to being around. If only he could turn back now.

A hand comes into his vision. He looks to it. Aoi was holding it out for him to take. Normally he'd decline, but…he takes it. Just this once. Holding her hand put him at ease. Not too much, but it was better than before.

The two walk deeper into the party, heads turning to see what else could be here. There was a food table and Yuusaku hoped that it offered something non-alcoholic here. Maybe they could go and grab something there.

"Akira!"

Or not.

Aoi had spotted her brother and a smile had lit her face. Without thinking, she begins to drag Yuusaku along with her towards him. She only releases his hand when they had stopped before him.

"Aoi," Zaizen smiles softly. "You're here. I'm sorry I couldn't meet you at the door." He looks down for a moment before looking to her partner. "And this is Yuusaku, correct?"

"Yes. My classmate."

"I'm glad to see you came along with her. Thank you for coming."

"Yeah…It's no problem."

Yuusaku didn't know what to say. He was't one for talking and being truthful in this moment didn't seem quite right. He'd play the part of the friend that was (somewhat) happy to be here.

"I know it's a little different from parties you should be going at around your age," Zaizen starts. "But, I hope you can enjoy the night."

"We will!" Aoi chirps.

"Zaizen! Zaizen!" A woman calls out for him. A young one with brown, wavy hair, blue eyes, and a navy blue dress. "I didn't mean to leave your side- oh, is this your sister?"

"It's alright, Hayami. And yes, this is Aoi, my sister."

Aoi gives the girl a smile and Yuusaku can already feel that he's going to have to introduce himself to more people. He takes in a breath, ready to speak before Aoi steps in front of him. She gives him a look and with a hand behind her back, urges him to go. While she had dragged him to this party, she never meant to drag him into endless chit chat.

Yuusaku doesn't hesitate taking this hint. He gives a slight nod to her before taking off. And, surprisingly, it's so easy to slip away in this crowd of people. He feels a bit guilty for leaving her, but that was something she was more accustomed to. She could handle the adult, business like chatter. He couldn't.

For now, he decides to try and make his way to the food table. No one approaches him and he's very thankful for that. People might wonder who he is, but as long as no one spoke to him, he would be happy. It would make his night that much easier to handle.

At the food table, nothing really catches his eye. He'd eaten a hot dog earlier thanks to Kusanagi's warnings about fancy dinners and how daunting they could be. As the food had failed him, that left him with only one more option. Wait until Aoi met up with him so he could enjoy the night a little better.

"Hey, you're one of little Zaizen's friends, aren't you?"

Yuusaku frowns as he hears a feminine voice beside him. He doesn't bother to look to address her, hoping that she would leave him alone. But, of course, business folks like to make connections in any and all forms.

"I saw you come in with her. So, you must know the older Zaizen to, right?"

Whatever is said after that, the boy drowns her out. He could care less about what she really wanted from him. Honestly, it was a futile effort. He'd only met Zaizen today and barely spoken to him. She'd have a better chance with speaking to someone else at this party if she wanted to connect to him.

"I won't bother you much longer." Was she starting to get the message? God, he hoped so. "I just want to ask-"

"Pardon me," another voice interrupts. Yuusaku turns his head slightly, catching sight of this stranger. He could only see him from behind, his white hair and a touch of purple highlights as he wore a white tuxedo. "You seem to have him confused with someone else. He came with me."

The woman wears a confused look, surprised that he had just strolled up to them and uttered this blatant lie to her face. She inhaled, ready to give her response back, but she was silenced with a single glare.

"Sorry…" Her head dips and she turns, leaving the two alone.

"You're welcome."

"I didn't ask for your help."

The man smirks. "Would you have preferred being hounded by her and others thanks to entering with Zaizen's sister?"

Yuusaku falls quiet. A part of him was thankfully, truly, he was. But he disliked feeling like he had to pay a debt to him.

"No…"

He turns to face Yuusaku and now he can get a better look at the stranger who helped him. He was a bit taller than him, had fair skin, and shimmering blue eyes. And…

"Have we met before?"

He doesn't answer him, only holding out a hand for Yuusaku to take.

"I won't ask you for a dance. You don't seem the type."

He can see the wariness in his gaze and how he even inched back. It seemed that the boy disliked strangers.

"Trust me."

"Why should I?"

"Three reasons. One, if you're with me no one will bother you. Two, I have no interest in your alliance with either Zaizen. Three, I know a place that would allow us to breathe."

Yuusaku's eyes had gone wide. Not only had it all seemed to good to be true, but that use of three reasons. He used it to. It was something told to him long ago…he thinks. He couldn't quite remember, but he knew it was special and hearing it come from someone else was odd yet made him curious.

Perhaps that's why he'd decided to slip his hand into his. The man smiles before leading him through the crowd. Yuusaku was surprised by how many people moved out of his path. In no time at all, they had made it to the end of the room, standing before a pair of double doors. The man had pushed it open, ushering Yuusaku to go in first.

As he walked out, he was greeted with a light breeze against his cheek. He blinked as his eyes adjusted from that artificial light to the moonlit glow. They were now outside on a private balcony. The sound of chattering disappearing behind them as the doors shut. Yuusaku took in a breath of fresh air, feeling more relaxed then he ever did.

Their hands are separated as the stranger walks ahead. He rests upon the rails of the balcony, gaze looking out over the scenery of the city. Yuusaku does the same.

Except he tilts his gaze up to the night sky instead. It was a rather pretty night. No cloud in sight, only stars shining with a crescent moon amongst them. Even if he was the type to prefer being indoors, he could appreciate nights like this.

"The stars are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

For once, he feels like he should have tried keeping the conversation going. It's not like he was disinterested in this stranger like the others. But, starting conversations was difficult. Still, he could try.

"Why'd you lead me out here?"

"To get away from the crowd." He replied with a shrug. "I'm not one for social parties like these. I dislike the fake pleasantries and poor attempts at social connections."

"You said no one would bother you though." He hears the man snicker. "Why come then?"

"Family business. I only came to show up, nothing more."

Yuusaku gives a hum in response. He didn't know big named folks. He's certain if the name Zaizen wasn't tied to Vrains, or Aoi, he wouldn't even know it. He wouldn't even be able to guess who this guy was or even if his name was attached to something in SOL Tech.

"Is that why you decided to use me as a way to escape?"

The man gave a slight chuckle to his question. He hadn't heard anything like that before.

"I think I'd prefer a kindred spirit than the plus one I brought." The man rolls his eyes. He then pushes himself off the railings, hands still on them as he stands tall. His head turns, looking too Yuusaku. "Why are you here? I assume it was for Zaizen's sister?"

"She's…my friend. She asked me to come along."

"How kind of you."

Yuusaku nearly expects more probing questions about his relationship to Aoi, but they never come. He was true to his word about not having an interest in the Zaizen siblings.

With that, they fall into silence. And it's a strange type of silence. One that isn't fully awkward but one that isn't too peaceful either. He does feel as if he should be trying to talk more, but maybe that's due to being in a party setting. If it weren't for that nagging at him, Yuusaku thinks he could enjoy the stranger's presence.

He glances over to him again, curious. He finds the man's gaze focused on the stars now. A familiar feeling comes up again. He isn't sure why and hates that he can't place it. Maybe he's imagining things. Maybe not. He'd go with the latter. He knows him.

"You're staring at me."

Yuusaku blinks, unaware that he had been for a while. His head turns, cheeks turning pink. He'd find something else to stare at. There was the city, the sky, and even the ocean. Which was glowing tonight. Not all of it, just a portion of it.

"You can see it from here."

"Hm?" The man looks over. "Stardust Road?"

"It's glowing tonight."

"It's better seen up close."

"I've only seen it up close once."

The memory was hazy but he's certain that he's seen it when he was younger. A kid had led the way and showed it to him. As pretty as the sight was, it wasn't something that stuck in his memories. And even as he tried to recapture the sight, his timing was poor.

"If leaving this party was easy, I could take you there. I think it's something that everyone should see. More than once."

"There'd be too many people there."

"Less than you think." He smirks. "Would you like to disappear with me tonight?"

Yuusaku turned to see if he was serious. He was. The thought of leaving this wretched party was very tempting. He'd love to disappear, to not go back into that crowded and stuffy room and force himself to speak with others. But there was one reason he had to stay.

"I can't."

"Staying for your girlfriend?"

"She's my friend."

"You have a good heart. Don't ever change." He smiles softly and something about it warms Yuusaku's chest.

The smile doesn't last long once he hears the doors behind them open.

"Ryoken!" A man excitedly chirps out his name. "Found you!"

"Spectre." The man- Ryoken turns to face the other. Yuusaku managed to catch a hint of annoyance on his face before he did.

"Genome was looking for you. I told him I could find you." Spectre pauses as he looks over to Yuusaku. "Not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No. Go on, I'll be there shortly."

"Of course, Ryoken." The other man bows before departing, but not after staring at Yuusaku for a while. It was rather unsettling how his gaze lingered on him.

"Don't mind him." Ryoken said as if he could see the unease on his face. "Anyway, I hope we can meet again, Yuusaku."

"How did you-"

Ryoken takes the boy's hand in his, raising it to gently brush his lips against his knuckles. It's a soft and tender touch that lasts seconds. It makes the boy's cheeks flush a dark red.

"If you want to meet once more, come to Stardust Road the next time it shines. I'll be waiting for you."

With a small smile, he turns to leave. Yuusaku watches him head back inside, eyes still staring at the doors even once they've closed. A hand is placed over his chest to feel his racing heartbeat.

He wasn't sure what happened tonight. But he was certain that he would like to meet him again.

[narcopathicabuse]

The 11 Most Common Narcissistic Hoovering Tactics December 27, 2016 Bree Bonchay, LCSW MANIPULATION TACTICS, NARCISSISTS

There’s a phenomenon we’ve all experienced at least one time called Synchronicity. It’s when you think of someone you haven’t thought about in years and then run into them a few hours later. Synchronicity always reminds me of another phenomenon that I call, Coincidental Hoovering. This phenomenon, more often than not, happens to the former partners, and relatives of narcissists. It’s when you finally start feeling some relief and peace in your life and make a giant Stover move like finally deleting your ex’s telephone number, or an even bigger Stover move, and change your number, and then out of the blue, you receive some kind of communication or an unexpected visit from your narcissist.

This never fails! I see it time, and time again. In fact, whenever a client tells me that they’re finally feeling better, and decided to get rid of that old box of mementos in their garage, or they’ve mustered the strength to block their ex from their mobile phone and email, I always get a little concerned.

I worry because due to the phenomenon of Coincidental Hoovering, they’re now almost certainly destined to receive some form of correspondence from their narcissist. And even though they’ve made great progress, they’re still so susceptible to being sucked back (hoovered) into the relationship, that they’ve worked so hard to forget.

Hoovers are hard to resist, especially when you finally get to hear all the things you’ve wanted to hear. But hoovers aren’t a compliment by any stretch of the imagination. You may feel a momentary sense of vindication, and confirmation to learn that your replacement target wasn’t better than you like the narcissist had made it seem on social media, but the true motivations behind the hoover aren’t what they appear to be on the surface.

The narcissist may really miss you, but not for the reasons you would want them to. They may miss what you gave them –free room and board, adulation, companionship, sex, or whatever their needs are. They may hoover you because they need a third party (you) to triangulate and manipulate their new victim with. They may just be filling their reserve tanks in preparation for periods of famine, or infidelity, and are surveying the availability of potential resources. Or, they may be in need of a quick ego boost and are looking to siphon some supply wherever they can get it the fastest, and with the least amount of effort.

It’s so easy to look for the positive in people, and wonder if maybe he/she isn’t a narcissist after all? Maybe you were wrong about them? Maybe the time apart has made him/her realize just how much they really appreciate you?

When in doubt, consider this –even though the apologies and sweet talk can be so convincing, and appear as if they’ve really changed, and truly mean what they’re saying– change for a non-narcissistic person doesn’t come easy. It is a very long, and slow process for anyone to truly change core parts of their personality. If it’s even possible for a narcissist to change, it would take years. And after years, the change may not even be very significant, or lasting. For you to realistically assess if there has been any real, and lasting change, you would need to spend at least 5 years, maybe 10 years, with many periods of relapse.

When we receive hoover messages, we instantly begin engaging in loophole-type thinking. We avoid the negative, and override the little voices in our heads, and get lost in the hope, and potential of things. After all, who wants to focus on the negative, and worry about all the doomsday what if questions, when it’s so much more enjoyable to stay in the moment and bask in the happy, positive thoughts?

But, failing to see the red flags, and the potential for serious harm is how we got here in the first place. If we neglect to read between the lines of these hoover messages or fail to remind ourselves of all the reasons we made the decision to implement no contact in the first place, we are setting ourselves up for even worse treatment the second time around. Post hoover relationships always begin with a brief honeymoon period where everything is Amaaaazing, and then they are followed by an even worse, and more rapid devalue period than the first go round.

The 11 Most Common Hoovering Tactics 1. The Cowardly Hoover

If you can count how many times your ex-narcissist said he/she was sorry on one hand, then you might want to prepare yourself for this tactic. This tactic is used by cowardly narcissists. The narcissist recruits a third party (usually one of their relatives) to send you a message, to get a temperature on you. The message will appear like it’s coming from the sender who is reaching out because they miss you, and just want to know how you’re doing, but it’s actually a fact-finding, temperature gauging mission the narcissist has sent them on to determine whether the coast is clear and if you’re open to contact abuse.

2. The Backhanded Hoover

The backhanded Hoover is a seemingly short, and sweet text that feigns caring, or yearning. Although, it’s a disguised insult because it’s really just a lazy text that takes all of two seconds of effort. Usually, these texts are three words or less –“I miss you.” “How are you?” “Thinking of you…”– And they’re sent with the intent to lure you back, but this time into the role of side supply.

3. The Proclamation

The proclamation is an excessively long text, or email, where the narcissist recites a litany of I’m sorry’s, and declares to have had an epiphany, and changed. The narcissist readily admits to his/her wrongdoings and misdeeds and apologizes profusely for hurting you. What’s missing from this proclamation is any real evidence of change. It’s just a lot of pretty hyperbole.

4. The Flip

The flip is a tactic where the narcissist flips the hoover back on you. Again, much like the cowardly hoover tactic, this tactic is usually executed by the more cowardly, prideful variety of narcissists. Remember too much pride is just a cover for the need to always be right. This hoover is all about securing an ego boost and surveying the amount of control they still have over you. “Did you call me?” “Was that you I saw parked in front of my house?”

5. The False Concern

The false concern is a tactic where the narcissist fakes concern for your well-being while appearing like the nice guy/gal. This tactic is used by narcissists, who are trying to disguise their real motives for contacting you beneath an aura of concern and caring. “Hey, are you okay?” “I heard you weren’t doing well, do you need anything?” “I know you don’t want to talk to me, so I won’t bother you anymore.”

6. The Purposely-Accidental Text

The purposely-accidental Hoover is intended to create a sense of urgency to sucker you into responding. It is a tactic many narcissists use to manipulate you, by appealing to your innate quality of compassion, by creating a sense of urgency. This type of text is sent to you on purpose but is camouflaged to appear to be sent to you by mistake, so you’ll feel a sense of obligation, and urgency to respond, and let the narcissist know to re-send the message to the intended recipient. “Mom’s flight has been changed, she wanted me to tell you to pick her up at 7:00 pm instead of 9:00 pm tonight.” “Hey, I’m hung up at work and I won’t be able to go over to your house and feed your dog. Sorry!”

7. The Sentimental Tug

This hoover tactic is meant to trick you into reminiscing about the past and becoming nostalgic, by reminding you of the sentimental moments the two of you shared. It may be littered with kissy face emojis, and xoxo’s, or it could be an inside joke only you would understand. “Hi, I just finished watching our favorite movie, and couldn’t help thinking of you.” “I was cleaning out my desk drawer, and found that card you gave me for my birthday.”

8. The Crisis

This tactic of needing to inform you about some real, or fabricated crisis, is a desperate tactic used to elicit and exploit your sympathy, and concern. Narcissists love to play the role of victim and get people to feel sorry for them. “My best friend was just diagnosed with cancer.” “I just got out of the hospital.” “Something horrible (fill in the blank_____) just happened, and I’m having a really difficult time right now.”

9. The Excuse To Contact Object

Many narcissists will purposely leave something of theirs at your house, and conveniently forget to pick it up, as arranged, so they will have an excuse to contact you at some future date. Or, they will fail to return something of yours, and hold onto it as an excuse to contact you months later, with the offer to return the recently discovered item. “Hi, I found your hair tie, would you like me to drop it by?” “I still have your gym water bottle, would you like to come get it?” “I think I left my sauce pan at your house. Can you look for it and let me know?”

1o. The Abuse Amnesia Text

The narcissist sends you a text conveniently pretending to forget that they abused you, cheated on you, smeared you, and replaced you before you even had time to change your Facebook relationship status. The narcissist acts as if none of that ever happened. There is no apology, no acknowledgment, no discussion, no accountability. If he/she can forget it happened, so should you.

11. The Bait and Ghost

This cruel tactic is used to assess how much control, and influence the narcissist still has over you. Or, it could be used to find out if you’re still a potential source of supply that he/she may draw from at some future point. The narcissist will send you a text to bait you into a conversation, and as soon as you respond, the narcissist will go silent and ghost you.

If someone treated you like crap, discarded you, replaced you as if you never existed, or all of the above, and all it takes for them to wiggle their way back into your life is a cowardly hoover, apologetic email, or a purposely-accidental text, the real question you have to ask yourself before you tap send is, “By replying, what message am I sending them?”

And for those of you who have written me messages expressing how you feel worthless, and doubly rejected because your ex-narcissists hasn’t hoovered you, and you’ve read that ALL narcissists hoover. This is simply not true. All narcissists don’t hoover. But don’t think you’re in the clear just yet, because you haven’t received a hoover. Many people don’t receive hoovers until five, ten, or more years have passed. There are many reasons why your ex hasn’t hoovered you, and none of them have anything to do with your worth. The most important thing to keep in mind is, if they aren’t contacting you, you’re much better off.

Bree Bonchay, LCSW, is a psychotherapist with over 18 years of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships and shares her insights about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and psychopathy in her blog FreeFromToxic. Her articles have been featured in major online magazines and she has appeared on radio as a guest expert. She is also a dedicated advocate, educator, and facilitates survivor support groups and workshops.

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Copyright © 2016 Bree Bonchay.  All Rights Reserved.

[transamorousnetwork]

How You Can Have Any Kind Of Love You Want

Whether you're a transgender person, or someone who finds themselves trans attracted, any kind of love is available to you.

The only thing keeping you from having that is you.

What Keeps What You Want From Happening

Your stories keep you from what you want. Stories are thoughts you think frequently. You think them so often they become "just the way life is".

"I'll never find a partner" is a story.

"Straight men don't like transgender women" is a story.

"There are no transgender women in my area" is a story.

"I can't find a transgender woman who doesn't have drama" is a story.

"I find transgender women attractive. I must be gay" is a story too.

All these stories are TRUE. You create their truth by telling them. If you believe "Straight men don't like transgender women" then you only meet straight men who don't like transgender women. Same is true for any other story.

Change the story and your "truth" changes too. Your reality also changes.

Everything Is Yours

You can have love you want with no effort on your part. Hard work is overrated. Especially in relationships. Digging through online profiles, going to bars and trying to find Mr. or Ms. "Right" by swiping left, right or whatever are unnecessary steps.

By relaxing, having fun and enjoying life, you don't have to do those things. Everything you want comes easily.

A friend of my wife demonstrated this over the last two years.  That she had no idea it was happening shows how easy it happens.

Following explains how the process works. After that, I'll tell Susan's story, which shows how the process worked for her. Along the way, I'll clarify points you should know so you too can produce similar results.

Five Steps To Getting What You Want

Getting everything you want is easy. Here's how:

Come to accept what you have. No matter how bad you think it may be, you have to find a way to accept it. More than that, you have to embrace it and appreciate it. That attitude makes you positively focused. Stay negatively focused – complaining, talking about or getting angry about what you have – and you get more of what you have.

Pay attention to thoughts you receive that you aren't thinking.  Often, you receive thoughts you didn't think. They feel like intrusions in your ordinary awareness. These are messages sent by your larger self. They come as suggestions, ideas, gut feelings.

Follow the suggestion, ideas, gut feelings. Intrusive thoughts are inspirations. You're supposed to follow them. It's ok if you don't, but if you do, life becomes far more interesting, spontaneous, fun and easy.

Practice being happyas often as you can. By doing so you tell your reality that you want more happy experiences. How you behave also forms a story.  Being happy is a behavior. Inspiration comes more easily too when you're happy.

Even if you don't do these five steps, you'll eventually end up using the process because it's built-in to living. It literally is "life". It just doesn't look that way because things you want to happen takes a long time when you don't use these steps deliberately.

Like I said, Susan is not aware of this process (Step five) yet it still worked for her. That means it can work for you. More so if used deliberately. So now, let's overlay these steps on Susan's experiences so you can see how they work.

It Began With A Crappy Marriage

Susan had been married many years. That marriage was crappy by Susan's admission. Her divorce was even worse. Contentious and frustrating, it ended with her "wasband" getting the better deal. That’s because she was the "breadwinner".

Every negative experience serves the experiencer. So, every negative experience is positive. Susan's crappy marriage helped her figure out what she wanted.

For one, she realized she didn't want to be in a relationship where she lived in the same house with someone else. In other words, she enjoyed living alone, having her own space, not having someone always around, but also being in relationship.

That's good to know when looking for a partner.

All through the divorce, Susan criticized her “wasband”. She complained about the divorce process, her lawyers, his lawyers. The more she complained, the more she had to complain about.

Her ex fought her more and more. He started doing vindictive things. Like slashing her tires and manipulating ways to keep her from their dogs. Perfect examples of Step One.

From time to time Perry's wife told Susan about this process. Like many people though Susan preferred experiential learning. She doesn't like being told what to do. Or following advice from others.  Neither does Perry's wife. 🙄 Maybe you don't either.

Soon Susan stopped complaining as much. She got tired of it. By the time her divorce was finished, she accepted the process. Step One: check.

Inspiration Creates Evidence of "Better"

What Susan didn't know was, her experiences with "wasband" helped her know things she wouldn't have known had she not gone through them.

She knew she didn't want another marriage. She knew she wanted her autonomy. And she knew what kind of relationship she wanted: one without the intertwined aspects of traditional relationships.

It was no surprise then what happened next. A friend she knew when married turned into a boyfriend. Let's call him Jake. Jake wasn't a long-term perfect fit. But he was perfect for now. Meaning: he offered sexual intimacy, occasional company, friendship. Someone to hang out with, without commitment. Jake was also a known-entity. They knew each other for years. So it was easy to turn that friendship into more.

Jake was and is polyamorous. He was seeing other women. He didn't tell Susan this until six months into their two-year relationship. Jake subscribes to a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship policy.

"If you don't ask, I'm not going to tell you," he says. Which is fine, if the other person knows this.

Susan didn't know this. By the time she found out, she wasn't happy about it.

She told my wife and I she didn't want to be in an open relationship. She didn't like feeling "second fiddle" to who-knows-how-many other women who might be in Jake's life.

But by the time she found out, it was too late. She had feelings for Jake.

There was more to Jake than Susan realized. Jake is fiercely independent, wicked smart, adventurous and a talented agitator/activist.

"I never ask people for anything,” he recently told me over tea. "Even if I have to go to a hospital. I'll find a way to make it myself."

That independence spills into his relationships. Jake thrives in relationships he controls. No wonder he prefers polyamory. Multiple opportunities foster independence.

Jake's independence tinted his relationship with Susan too. He decides when she could come over. He decides when he comes to her house. If he has a date with someone else, he is not available. In many respects, Susan's access to Jake was at Jake's discretion.

That worked great for Susan for a while. In time, though, she resented this. She felt the relationship was going one way: Jake's way.

In Susan's words recently: "I thought I'd like this non-monogamy thing a bit better if I were to participate in it fully."

So she decided to do something. A "good for the goose" thing. What she before resisted, she now was warming up to. So much so she too sought extra partners.

One day she got an idea: a profile on OKCupid. Step two: check!

"In retrospect, I did it shortly after discovering that [Jake] had another lover..." Susan said. "It was kind of a vengeful act."

Time went by. Susan fell in love with Jake. Jake was in love too. What Susan at first tolerated now she enjoyed. Even given the imbalance. Step One again.

She enjoyed her freedom, her autonomy. She now liked Jake having options. And she looked forward to having her own options. Men she could see occasionally and casually too.

Your Reality Is Under Your Control

You get what you're ready for. The problem is, you're never ready for something different than what you have, until you accept what you have. If you're not happy with what you have, you can't get what you want because you're not ready for what you want. You're complaining about what you have.

Happiness is not something that comes after getting what you want. Well, it does happen that way.

But it's meant to be something you feel no matter what you're experiencing. That's because everything you experience serves your fulfillment. Yes, even what looks like negative experiences.

When you figure that out, your life is your conscious design. This unconditional happiness is your design tool kit. Because when you're happy, no matter what you have, you are ready for having what matches how you feel.

Making Room For Even More "Better"

As Susan found herself mostly happy in her poly relationship, she made room in her life for having more of what she wanted. That created what happened next.

For a while nothing significant happened on OKC. She says she met three guys. She enjoyed meeting them.

Otherwise, She said, the process was "drudgery". This is why we don't support using dating websites. They can work. But they frequently don't. In the meantime, they conjure too many negative stories (lack of acceptance). That stretches out the time it takes to get what you want. It's far better to be happy, enjoy your life and follow your intuition. Meeting your match that way is a happy, natural and enjoyable process.

Online dating for most people isn’t happy, natural or enjoyable.

Like many people though, Susan learned to accept the drudgery. Again, Step One.

That's when one profile "stood out," she said. "OKC estimated 99% compatibility, and I liked his photos and what he'd written."

She was referring to this guy Susan brought to a small gathering. Let's call him Carl.

They had almost everything in common. They finished each others' sentences...laughed at the same things...it was like they had been together for years.

Carl wanted a monogamous relationship from the get-go. He said so in his profile. Susan's profile didn't say that. But Carl liked what Susan offered so much, he compromised.

This happens a lot. Insecure people compromise their ideas because they think they need to to get what they want.

That's never the case. But impatience is a powerful thing. As is insecurity.

When people can’t be patient, they compromise. In compromising, the path leading to what they really want lengthens. It's not a problem because every experience is beneficial.

You're also eternal, so you have plenty of lifetimes to get what you want. But if you exercise patience while following the process above, what you want comes faster.

Let's take a break with a blast from the past....

Susan Finds Freedom In Openness

Welcome back.

Carl’s relationship behaviors contrasted Jake's. He wanted collaboration in relationship. While he didn't like so much sharing Susan with others, he didn't resist it. Not at first.

So Carl fell in love with Susan instantly, he says. And why not? She's lovable!

Meanwhile, Jake got more controlling when he found out Susan had another lover. His insecurities, dormant while he controlled the relationship, now surfaced. This was a good thing. His insecurities invited everyone involved to become better versions of themselves.

For example, both men had toothbrushes in Susan's bathroom. Jake's was in the toothbrush holder. Carl's in the drawer. Carl imagined (rightly) Susan was hiding from Jake the fact that Carl sometimes spent the night. That chafed Carl.

Carl's feelings were petty. So were Susan's intentions. Susan was trying to protect Jake. To keep from triggering Jake's insecurities. That strategy backfired. It only made both men more insecure and her frustrated.

She found both men's insecurities unattractive. But she also enjoyed it. Through something she initially didn't like at first, Susan found empowerment and freedom and choice and options.

In other words: Everything her marriage didn't offer.

Insecurity Boils Over

One night Carl put his foot down.

He said he wanted monogamy with Susan. That surprised her. She had been clear from day one on OKC that's not what she wanted.

One day, Bridget reminded Susan that two years ago a monogamous relationship was exactly what she wanted.

But Susan grew happy with her current situation (being in an open relationship). That's step one. She missed step two, but the process still worked because she followed her inspiration posting an OKCupid profile (Step three).

And now she faced a new reality. One she wanted two years ago. Carl represented a great match: intellectually, physically and more. They really liked each other too.

Susan didn't remember wanting monogamy two years ago. And yet, here she was, getting everything she wanted. Freedom. Choice. Two good men who both loved her. And an opportunity for monogamy.

And now, one for the men:

Susan Got Everything. And Then Some. So Can You

Intrigued with Carl's request, she told Jake. Jake got even more insecure. Angry in fact that Susan was considering a monogamous relationship with someone else. Of course, he didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship. He wanted what he had: his cake (Susan) and the opportunity to eat other cake.

But let's look at what Susan created. In two years her life matched every desire she wanted.

She put her marriage behind her

She found a relationship that worked immediately after the divorce

That relationship brought interesting experiences, growth, adventure

She followed her inspiration

That lead to meeting Carl, a perfect match

Now she has not only an open relationship, but an opportunity for a closed one too!

In other words, Susan was getting everything she wanted. And then some. Even though she didn't realize what was happening.

Like we say, the process works for everyone. Even those unaware of it.

Today, Susan is negotiating the best of both worlds. She loves both Carl and Jake. Both represent different desires she's had over two years. Both men love her. Both offer different things. In other words, Susan is enjoying her love life as it brings her plenty of pleasure, adventure, love and more.

You can have your version of the same thing: plentiful experiences where what you want comes easily. It all starts with realizing you have a larger youfrom which to live your life. Then finding ways that connect you to that. Being happy is the easiest.

[teenagetragedymentality]

Humor

We all need to laugh on a daily! Laughing is good for our health. I am blessed with a sense of humor to laugh at the most hardest of times. I am also very fortunate to have a life partner/soulmate with a sense of humor that if I am not making him smile and laugh (don’t tell anyone he actually does that because he appears and comes off to be a hard ass) he is making me smile and laugh. We have a great time. My mother and I have a blast together as well. She has the sense of humor that is just so uncut, raw, and quick you don’t have a choice but to laugh. 

Our son in the mix of this household, he gets all three of us into one little human. He is 8 and when people say the kid’s say the darnest things they weren’t lying. Sometimes I just have to go talk to him about whatever that comes to his head, by the end of the conversation I have a better outlook on life because its not so dark talking to him. Being a kid in 2020 is hard. Watching him live this is hard on us, but we are blessed beyond belief and I preach that on a daily to myself so I can model that to the people who rely on me to be there and to be there with a level head. 

Inside the household we laugh and have a great time. A lot of positivity, of course we all have our days because we all suffer from something (hell even our dog is special). Outside the world is a scary, crazy place. I look for comfort for myself so I can comfort our son with anything to make him a little less stressed out. Instead I’m just having anxiety trying to figure out who is happy under their mask and who isn’t. People don’t want to be around others like they use to it seems.  

Now the new normal is wearing masks (which I am not against because I want to protect others from what germs I might have that I don’t know about. I am immune compromised as it is) under that mask though is a smile or maybe not. I have found it increasing difficult to read peoples emotions or feelings by just seeing there eyes. I am a person who you can just tell i’m off by my body language and anyone who knows me will pick up on them cues without me having to say anything. Strangers you cant just look at eyes arms and legs and know 100 percent they have good or bad intentions. That scares me. Gives me a type of anxiety I am learning to deal with. 

Really it comes down to living in 2020 you have to have a solid family foundation and a home team that builds you up not turn or tear you down. For those who dont have that I feel like 2020 is going to be very hard for a lot of people, harder than the first 6 months. Mother Nature is even sick of us. 

A little history with me and humor comes from the trauma I have endured. I have learned to make jokes when I talk to myself alone with no one. I would really laugh because I was freaking funny. When you are all alone as an only child with an abusive father in every category of abuse you learn to laugh at yourself with somethings that you say. 

Here is an example of Today July Third 2020 while I was riding to the Dispensary I look at my man and say some crazy shit. There is a flooding problem (well was a flooding problem its recessing now because of the heat) along most bodies of water. There is a place the will let you rent a kayak and take it out on the bayou for a little while (not sure how long as I haven’t ever inquired but am so tempted in the near future.) Their building is underwater and they have decided to still run but just from a little shack and mostly everything is done outside. They had a genius idea of putting a porta-potty right by the road and for whatever reason as we were passing it today I looked at my man and said if some one jumped that little curb and hit that porta-potty with someone in it that would be a really shitty situation. I died laughing he didn’t get it right away because I totally cut him off just to say some off the wall shit but when he did get it I was laughing so hard that he was laughing at me laughing at myself. Life is too serious and honestly why?

I get the idea we have to be serious and profession when needed but your whole entire life shouldn’t be so serious you don’t have any wrinkles by the time you are 30. I laugh a lot. I have been compared to Chanel West Coast’s laugh (not my fave, but not to lie she and I have a close laugh) #ridiculousness the hyaena's off the lion king and a cackling hen house. I love to joke. 

Jokes are kind of a mandatory thing around here now. I actually, have “kinda”, maybe slightly, screwed myself over with our son because I joke to much and he never knows when I'm serious, between his dad and I we are some funny fools.

I numbed pain for many years by teasing myself and having a fun being class clown. Bit me in the ass come report card time but I at least could talk my way out of like severe stage. There was four groundment and only end up with like stage one. One was like pulling weeds for an hour. Stage 5 was like pushing a non-self propelled lawn mower on a 90 degree day on about 5 acres. I only did that twice. I was always friendly from what I can remember until the older version of myself came about in 2016. 

When I reflect even up until recently, I feel like I was too serious all the time, depressed, would jump on our son in a heartbeat what seemed to be over nothing. I was letting the world get to me and my meds where all wacked out. Meds are important part of my every day life (sadly) but I do it and I am happy about it most of the time. Usually they work for me and I can be my happy bubbly self. I have been complimented for many years about my happy bubbly personality.

When I finally realized that I was miserable and I needed to change somethings about my everyday life I had gained weight, didnt laugh like ever, cried every day damn near and for hours. During this time I hit rock bottom but my mom, my man and our son was struggling because of the feelings and the lack of humor. Once you have a funny bone for so long and then all of a sudden its gone people who are close to you and pay attention start picking up on the lack of your ability to be yourself. 

BOOM that’s exactly what happened. My man and my mom came to me and said laugh. I thought for a long time.

I couldn't bring myself to laugh. I couldn't, but why? That wasn’t me. I would have laughed at their jokes any other time. B is asking dad why mom is so unhappy and she don’t laugh at his jokes any more. She is just so sad and serious. I was going down hill. I cant believe i allowed myself to drop that low. I needed help but didn’t want to let my life mate in. I didn’t want to listen. Well finally after being the stubborn know everything type of person I am, I finally caved and listened and vented to him. He helped me get out of the pit like any great man and father would do.

He taught me what “laughing” and “humor” was all about. I think some times we just need to let our walls down a tad and stop being so serious. Smile a little even if you cant be seen laugh and laugh loud. Be proud of that laugh. When you aren’t wearing a mask you should smile and laugh and enjoy all of the simple pleasures we take for granted. I am blessed beyond compare. I have learned to be thankful for what you have. If more comes along great you will appreciate it even more but if you are ungrateful for what you have now real time what makes you think you will be happier with more. 

I have had nothing alone and scared and still somehow managed to make myself laugh.

This blog was only my opinion, my thoughts, my outlook. I don’t hear or see any happiness or laughter anymore in this dark world and maybe if we are more aware that we aren’t doing certain things like laughing or being compassionate to one another.

[barbariccia]

cheer up, liara, you aren’t the only one who’s at the mercy of galactic side-glances.

Liara: But I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to help you stop Saren. I promise.

Shepard: Promises are easy to make, but hard to keep.

we get the chance for the first time to chat with liara and find out what her deal is. she’s not really hiding much, not like some of our other crewmates: she’s just a young archaeologist who gets excitable when the protheans are mentioned.

come to think of it...

i’ll freely admit it here and now: i’ve never cared much for liara. being the blue-skinned babe, she naturally rocketed to being the poster girl and ‘canon’ romance for the series above tali or ashley (let’s not even talk about how femshep didn’t have a canon appearance until the very last game in the trilogy), and i can understand why: unlike ashley, she’s not abrasive from the get-go and finds shepard interesting right off the bat, albeit from a scientific standpoint before a humanist one, and unlike tali, you can see her face.

still, the insistance that there is a canon for the series, despite being rife with lots of little choices that ultimately don’t effect the ending but do effect instead the journey you take getting there, things that make any shepard’s journey personal to the player, makes me uncomfortable, in some very vague and undefined sense - as does the way that liara is pressed upon you in a manner that screams to me as “me, me, pick me, pick me!!”

i don’t care to be rude to liara for choices that weren’t hers to pick - nevermind that created characters don’t exactly have agency of their own not being real and all that - but for what it’s worth, i do always feel bad shutting her down so sharply. ah well.

we get the chance to ask about asai culture some more and hear it from the mouth of an asari, though. let’s look.

Liara: Although we seek to understand other species, it seems few of them seek to understand us. The galaxy is filled with rumors and misinformation about my people. Most of the inaccuracies are centered around our mating rituals.

Liara: Mating is not quite the proper term. Not as you understand it. Physical contact may or may not be involved, but it is not an essential element of the union. The true connection is mental. Our physiology allow us to meld with other beings. We can touch the very depths of their minds. We explore the genetic memory of their species. We share the most basic elements of their individual and racial identities.

love to hear it from the mouth of babes themselves that there’s an unhealthy hangup across the galaxy with another species’ mating act!!!

again, i understand that this is clearing up for the player rather than the character, but it still feels very... strange that in your very first conversation with someone who’s arguably the least qualified to be aboard the normandy (at least in terms of credentials, because this is a military vessel; tali would be a close second in this regard) that you can bring up sex when asking about a different race. fraternization isn’t quite the right word for it, but it seems very othering to me.

that this is brought up by liara rather than shepard and could very well be seen as simply oversharing, or wanting to clear up misunderstandings before they blow out of hand, is definitely a read! and shepard’s questions do lean more toward a general instead of personal sense.

we do get to ask if liara knows who her ‘father’, for lack of a better term - and god i wish asari linguistics were explored because this is a culture that would be rife with interesting nongendered terms - is, and liara tells us that benezia never told her who that was. and here we come to the second part i’m iffy about.

Liara: I am what is sometimes called a “pureblood”, though no asari would ever be cruel enough to say the word to my face. It is a great insult among my people.

Liara: It is possible Benezia’s partner was embarrassed by their union. She may have been too ashamed to publicly acknowledge me as her offspring.

so this is loaded!!!!!!

asari-asari offspring are explored a little better in me2, where we see what the implications of single-species union mean for the genetics (spoiler: it’s a sex thing), but this in itself raises some interesting questions that the series never addresses. at some point, even the asari weren’t able to leave their own planet or system - at some point they were the only race to have discovered the citadel and claimed its initial knowledge. so what the fuck were the thoughts on single-race offspring at that time? at what point in the asari’s history did it become culturally unacceptable to mate with another asari?

unless, of course, they’ve always melded with non-asari species, even if they aren’t the aliens that we know and are familiar with today. the equivalent of bestiality, except... because melding can be pulled off without a physical union, it’s considered okay? the offspring is laways another asari, the product of the individual and racial combination of both asari and the second parent’s experiences and culture, so it’s not like there’d be any weird asari-dog hybrids walking around.

i appreciate this got weird quickly, but the idea is so open and broad and only really discussed in an “ooh sexy we’re compatible with everyone and because we’re neither male nor female that means femshep can get in on this as well without having to be held to the same standards of lesbianism that isn’t aesthetically pleasing” manner. tldr, fuck you, bioware, this is my country now and i intend to plunder the land for all of its minerals no matter how weird they are because you didn’t strip it fully and left these nuggest behind for me.

so i was discussing this with one of my closest friends. i typically have a big problem consuming depictions of mother-daughter relationships within any sort of media, no matter how they’re displayed, because of personal trauma, but the realisation struck me as this line played - i don’t remember having any sort of problem with the way that liara and benezia’s relationship (and estrangement) were displayed the first time i went through this game, and i don’t expect it to have much of an affect on me now.

not that my personal experiences and trauma count for much as far as whether or not a piece of writing is good, but it doesn’t strike is as... realistic, i suppose is the right word.

no explanation on why liara hasn’t spoken to benezia in however long, or any indication of when benezia might have turned to saren’s cause or even why, but i’m sure it’ll pop up later. we’ll be taking liara to one of the planets for that extra dialogue.

[petlover18-blog1]

Cat, the Emotional Assistance Animal

New Post has been published on https://www.petlovers.shovelnews.com/cat-the-emotional-assistance-animal/

Cat, the Emotional Assistance Animal

Cats are ideally suited for the important task of emotional support.

Olwyn, shoulder & couch cat

Emotions are important.

health, period

The more science studies the subject, the more mental health becomes, simply, “health.” It’s now clear that stress has a large impact on physical health, and physical illness affects our mental state.

Enter the Paw of Compassion.

When Shane rescued a poor moggy from a horrific attack, he gained a feline friend that turned his life around.

Since he took Baby in, a homeless charity with support workers has helped Shane move into social housing, complete with a communal garden that’s perfect for a cat to explore. Although the landlord has a ‘no pets’ policy, they’ve made an exception for Baby because of the way this wonderful cat has helped to transform Shane’s life for the better.

Rescued cat saves his new owner’s life in return

The power of loving, and being loved, can transform lives. Cats are only one of the conduits. But when we consider the low-maintenance requirements of their physical care, combined with the high maintenance of their emotional needs, we see how cats are one of the best choices for an emotional assistance animal.

I deal with skepticism from the pet-unfriendly about this issue, but then again, these tend to be the same people who scorn emotional needs… unless those are their own. I am certain there are people who are not drawn to pets but also do not use them as a lever for abuse, but these people do not write me or comment on this blog.

When we combine understandable communication and a close partnership with our cats, we get many of the benefits of human social interaction. Cats can provide support with the validation of our feelings, a sense of being cared about, and mutual interests in shared activities. I discovered this when I made it a specialty to move my rescued Only Cats into homes with people who did not have a rich social network available.

Having a devoted friend turned into a great thing for both parties.

legitimate, actually

It is a concern that trained service animals have the skills to move freely in places they are needed. But as the range of services animals could perform widened, the animals themselves became more diverse. Dogs are more suited to be a sight-assistance animal, but for someone with mobility difficulties and emotional needs, a cat who doesn’t need to be walked might be a better choice.

The rise of animals who detect their person’s seizures, low blood sugar, or panic attacks continues to expand the definition of “service animal.”

An assistance animal can be a cat, dog or other type of companion animal, and does not need to be trained to perform a service. The emotional and/or physical benefits from the animal living in the home are what qualify the animal as an assistance animal.

The Fair Housing Act and Assistance Animals

It’s important for anyone seeking legal protections for their assistance animal that they have a documented issue, and that their pet can adapt to different circumstances they might need to encounter. A pet who performs happily at home might find the outside world upsetting enough for them to need emotional assistance.

Cats, who rely on their sense of territory to be comfortable, might not be the first animal people think of when it comes to visiting people in need. But some cats adapt beautifully to such requirements, becoming true Therapy Cats.

soothing, always

One of my favorite episodes of Star Trek, the original series, is the one about the Tribbles. These balls of fur can be cuddled while they emit a purring noise. In the views of the human crew of the Starship Enterprise, this is enough to justify their existence.

Any Cat Appreciator can see their point.

One of the reasons I have four cats is how this avoids a Cat Gap, where a human needs a cat and the cat is not available. Most of the time, there is a cat up for chat and petting, cuddling and play. Tristan is especially flexible, dragging himself out of a nap when I come home, or checking in with me frequently if I am busy with some home activity.

It turns out, having cat attention can be of great comfort to humans. The website Tails of Kali-Ma is about rescue Kali-Ma’s work as a therapy cat.

Many people ask me “how can I train my cat to be a therapy cat”? I have outlined all of the cat therapy training tips you will need to know to make that decision based on my personal experience. It takes a special “team” to do animal therapy work. Both the cat owner and the cat, have to have a unique temperament. The rewards are extraordinary, so if you think you may have those qualities here is everything you need to know.

Cat Therapy Training Tips – Everything You Need To Know

A cat who is confident and friendly is a fine base to build a therapy cat upon. Reach out to Pet Partners, a non-profit organization which supports and encourages animal therapy partners.

Mr WayofCats has a chronic illness, and he’s fortunate to have all four of our cats as his therapy animals. While the Internet has brought him many friends online, and he can get out to see our local friends when he can, I feel good knowing he has attentive and caring beings with him when I’m not home. As in the instance where they signaled he was more ill than we thought, cats are excellent monitors of our physical, and mental, states.

Most of all, they care.

Cats know feelings are important. We should listen. Click To Tweet

Find out more about how helpful cats can be with my post, Cats for People’s Problems.

Got here from a Link or Search? There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

➤Thanks for stopping by! My NEW book The Way of Cats: How to use their instincts to train, understand, and love them is available for Kindle. Find me on FACEBOOK or join me on TWITTER. Sign up for monthly eNewsletter to get my FREE eBook, Ten Cat Tricks (Every Human Should Know.) Need help fast? Book a Cat Consultation. Source: https://www.wayofcats.com/blog/cat-the-emotional-assistance-animal/40296

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

Can I have two different life insurance covers?

"Can I have two different life insurance covers?

Suppose I have two different life covers (insurances), one is an endowment/whole life insurance and the other is a term insurance. In case I die within life cover period, will the two different insurance companies give the separate sum assured amounts in full to the nominee?   Will the same rule be valid if I take two such life insurances from same company? I am asking because I have one whole life policy which I may or may not continue, so to get advantage of lower premium, I am considering taking one term insurance as soon as possible (but ultimately I may continue the previous policy too because I have already paid good amount of premium).

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am 17 and have passed my driving test, so hold a full UK license, i wan't to borrow my dad's classic car for a day, to take my date to the the end of year prom. Is it possible to get temporary insurance for me for just a day? without adding me to the actual car policy? It is a Triumph Spitfire 1500. Thank you for your ideas.""

Dental Insurance Company Denying Authorization for Covered Plan Services.?

Anthem Blue Cross Dental Net I was referred to an oral surgeon by my primary care dentist since I have to have 6 teeth and 2 residual root tips extracted in advance of getting a full upper denture. All the extractions including the root tips have to be done during one visit, which necessitates the use of IV sedation. My general dentist cannot perform any of this work. Anthem Blue Cross Dental Net denied the original pre-authorization request, and subsequent appeal stating that my general dentist can perform the services being referred. Which is absolutely not the case. I even spoke with a customer service rep who indicated that the extraction of residual root tips is definitely a referable service and it clearly states that in their Dental Net Provider Contract. She has no explanation for why the appeal was denied. My primary care dentist has even provided Anthem Blue Cross Dental Net with his specific reasons for referring this work to an oral surgeon and I still can't get anyone at Anthem Blue Cross to re-evaluate the original denial and the appeal and authorize the necessary work. I have filed a complaint with the California Department of Insurance, although I don't hold out much hope for any results from that effort. HELP... what are my options? Who can I contact? Thanks""

How much does health insurance in the UK cost on average?

Btw, I live in the UK, I know we have the NHS, but my Aunty has health insurance as part of her benefits package at work and she says private healthcare is way better than the NHS. So I'm just wondering how much health insurance costs on average in the UK?""

Is my auto insurance too high?

i am 18 yrs old. my car is 2008 c class benz. my insurance for the car is 315 a month!!! aaghh!! is that too high or it is a good price for the car i drive? does the car model matter? please help!! i hate paying this price!

High Insurance Rate for RX-8 05'?

I'm 20 years old and have been driving for 4 years now. As of recently, I own a RX-8 05' (1st Car), No prior accidents, never gotten a ticket. Nothing negative what-so-ever with vehicles or finances. I'm paying $1600 and change every six months including discounts such as Military, anti-lock brakes, etc. Insurance company is Gieco. I took in to account that I am in fact a young male with a race car but with no intentions to drive reckless. Its a car that I plan to have for a few years and enjoy driving it before I get something more economically sufficient. My question is... Is this a reasonable payment? Do perks and lower rates come the longer your with a company and continue safe driving?""

Is Progressive a good insurance company?

My mom seems to think it's not based on what she heard almost 10 years ago. We currently have Allstate which is costing us $265/mo whereas Progressive could cost us $171/mo. IDK why she won't even try it

I can't find car insurance for under 5000?

I'm 17, and I understand my age is of course affecting the price of my car insurance, but I am getting 5000 quotes for a 1.0L Vauxhall Corsa 1998. I am expecting it to be high, but not that high for a crappy car. So could any one recommend any insurance company who will hopefully cut that down to 2000-3000?""

How much will it cost for a 17 year old girl to get auto insurance.?

i dont have a car yet im getting it in August, and my mom said that she does not want me under her insurance so im stuck getting it by myself what can i do?""

Does anyone use or heard of Response.com for auto insurance?

Response.com seems to have the least expensive insurance rates at plans that are what I currently have. Going with them would save a lot of money but I've never heard of them personally.

Can I sue my husband's car insurance company?

Me and my husband have been split up for a little while, we are not divorced nor have we filed.We decided to go on a small vacation to TN together with our children,to see if we can work thing's out. While there we had a bad car accident to were we were hanging on the side of a cliff in the mountain's by a tree with our 2 daughter's in the car as well. The car was totaled out by the insurance company, I didn't go to the hospital as nothing was seriously wrong at the time but now I have bruising and painful bruising. Can I sue my husband's car insurance company? I live in Kentucky for refernce to the different state laws""

How much higher will my insurance go up with a point on my license?

How much higher will my insurance go up with a point on my license? I got pulled over for not stopping at a stop sign completely... this is in california. My insurance is like 300 every 6 months typically.

I was in a car accident. My car was deem a total lost. The insurance towed my car away. I waited 1 year?

trying to get my claim paid. Today I received a letter from some car auction center, stating that I had to go get my car or they will charge me storage per day. now my car was a honda 05 I originally finaced the car and still owe money on the car. like 13000. The insurance company is not paying my claim. The finance company gave me a charge off on my credit. Now If I go pick up this car. is the car now mines? I do not have the title. How do I get the title.""

Car insurance and deductibles?

Last year I hit a car the damage was way less than the deductible. The person had on there car. The car insurance company wants me to pay for damage plus the deductible. Is that legal. I have know problem paying for damages, but the damages are only 1/3 of what they are demanding I pay.""

What are the risks of getting cheaper auto insurance using friends/work address?

Getting a car insured in Hoboken is very expensive ($750 for 6 months). Some of my friends use their friends address (Say Edison address) and get much cheaper quotes. What are the risks in doing this? My friend also had a claim with no problems (but it was a minor claim). Please advise?

Can I have two different life insurance covers?

Suppose I have two different life covers (insurances), one is an endowment/whole life insurance and the other is a term insurance. In case I die within life cover period, will the two different insurance companies give the separate sum assured amounts in full to the nominee?   Will the same rule be valid if I take two such life insurances from same company? I am asking because I have one whole life policy which I may or may not continue, so to get advantage of lower premium, I am considering taking one term insurance as soon as possible (but ultimately I may continue the previous policy too because I have already paid good amount of premium).

WHY WHY WHY!!!! Is so-called affordable health insurance so ridiculously expensive???

Here in WI they consider $479/month for a married couple affordable! That is with a $2500 deductible!! It just doesn't make any sense to me. Can anyone tell me why the rates are so very UN-AFFORDABLE? One simply can't afford to get sick or maintain one's health...

15 1/2 year old male insurence in california ?

im 15 1/2 and just got my permit and i have a 72 galaxie 500 2 door hard top but its not registered i was wondering if it would be cheaper to register the car in my name but be on my parents insurance or register it in my dads name and be on his insurance or just have my own insurance? i live in california. so if you can help that be great and dose anyone know how much it be if i joined my parents?

Roughly how much will my car insurance cost?

Im nearly 19 and Im looking to do my test and get a car as soon as I have the money. I would probably be getting a 2nd hand car within the 750 - 1,500 range, probably something simple what most get for their first car such as a corsa, punto, focus, clio etc. I can afford the car and the lessons, one thing I dont really know about is the insurance. I know it will be different whoever you go with but can you give me just a rough idea of how much Im looking at? I was hoping that it would be as cheap as 20/week (1,000/year). Thanks.""

Insurance premiums in the U.S.?

Did Insurance Companies increase their premiums in the U.S. for all customers (regardless of location) after Hurricane Katrina? If they did, is this a common practice? Don't insurance companies ever lose?""

What are some affordable car insurance companies?

i have three cars and i have three teens drivers and my dad and im looking for a low cost auto insurance does anybody know any and im also trying to get full coverage

Auto insurance question?

I am paying $166 monthly for 2 cars, full coverage, 6 month premium around 970. I'm not sure if that's cheap or expensive. What is the average most people pay for 2 cars? I'm curious. I have insurance through USAA.""

""If I start working, will my insurance get taken away?""

I'm currently a junior in high school and recently got hired for a opening job position. I receive free health care and my mom is unemployed and is receiving disability benefits. If I take this job, will my health care and my mom's benefits get taken away? Will it affect me or just my mom or both of us? My parents said that if I make money, it will have to be included in the family income and if we exceed a certain amount, then all of our benefits will be taken away. Does anyone have any insight on this? I'm not sure how many hours I will be assigned to work if i take this job, but it is minimum wage and they do limit high school students to work a limited number of hours.""

How to lower price for car insurance?

Hi.So I bought Renault Clio 1.2 16v Extreme for 2.5k . It has modifited alloys (16'),tinted black windows and back lights a'la Lexus. Obviously car was from 2nd hand so these modifications arent worth more than 250-300. I'm 18 years old and Im holding my driving license for 1 month. I quoted myself on many car insurance websites and all I see is 2900-3300 to insure it if I type that my car is modifited (without mods it's 1,8k to insure) ! My question is: Is there car insurance company that will not cover modifited parts but it will cover rest of the car so I'll pay like for non-modifited car? If it is - what's the name of that company. Thank you.""

Does anyone know the insurance group prices in the UK?

looking at car insurance does anyone know how much is group is like 3E, 5 and 12 or summit is there any websites where you can find them? if anyone has any suggestions please leave below!""

My son-19- is a full time college student.His Ga peach care insurance ends august 3.can he get medicaid?

He is receiving student aid in the form of scholarships and the pell grant for low-income families. I don't want him to be without insurance coverage. His only income is back child support that will end in a few months. What are my choices? Please help. Thank you. I only receive disability income from social security disability.

Need Cheap Medical Health Insurance?

Hello, could anybody recommend me a site for cheap medical health insurance.I know many sites, but their offers are too expensive.""

Classic Car Insurance for Young Drivers?

Always been a fan of Old Minis. Always been in the family. Uncle has had various Mini projects. I've read so many different things about classic car insurance. I'm 17 Years old, recently passed. I've heard that you get get classic car insurance at this age for close to and under 1000. I may not be driving until i turn 18. Won't be driving much. Odd weekend's and to Sixth form a few late days when i can't get a lift off my parent. My Sixth form has it's own car park and the car will be parked on the drive. Just wondering how true the claims are of the cars being cheaper to insure. If so which companies should i go about contacting, and is it best via website or phoning them. Also i would be looking at any Mini, would prefer a 1275 GT. However realise this would cost more. Not bothered about having a Mini 850 or a normal Mini 1000, as i know the Special Eds will cost more.""

How much is insurance for young men drivers?

I want to get a new car and im 18 years old. My dad says he wont put me on his insurance if i buy a new car but insurance on a new car will be like $400 a month!!!! I have no accidents or tickets my record is clean. Is this normal? I dont live in a bad area and it is a convertible pontiac g6. ThanX

What is the estimated insurance for this car?

2-Door Coupe 1989 BMW 6 Series Coupe 2D 635CS, costing $6,000 new 16 yr. old driver.15-20000 in coverage.""

Dose the red light camera offence affect our records or insurance?

A friend of mine borrow my car on December for half a day and 2 days ago I got a $180 fine with picture from red light camera! I feel very upset not for the fine but because it could goes in my records!!!

Best way to find specific insurance agent?

I got a very low quote from someone but lost his number when I got new phone. I know his first name and he was with one of the bigger companies. I know this is a dumb question but anyone got advice?

Another insurance question for you...?

I'm 16, and soon I'll be getting my first car. When my mom checked out how much my insurance would be on a black Honda Civic 2-door from 1997 they told her it would be $100 a month. Needless to say, that car is gone and I now have my eyes on a silver Chrysler Sebring 2-door convertible from 1998. Judging by the price of the insurance on the Civic, how much would it be on the Sebring? Thanks in advance.""

""Car insurance, when does it drop?""

Im 19 years old, and payed $155 a month for my car insurance, a year later, no accidents tickets or anything and its $106. Definately not complaining, but i was just wondering if theres some sort of formula insurance companies use.. because i always thought when you turn 25 it goes down dramatically, but this for me is pretty dramatic. And also one year from now can i expect it to go down 50 more dollars?? thanks in advance""

""Just wondering about car insurance, registration, title, and license.?""

I'm from Nevada but moved to Colorado. My parents signed over the title to my car and are going to make me pay for insurance. I was wondering what I had to do to sort this all out. I was thinking I have to go to the DMV to get my license and officially change the name on the title, then go back to get insurance so I can go back to the DMV to get registration. Is that right? What are your thoughts? The DMV is closed right now which is why I'm asking here.""

What are insurance points?

I got 2 tickets today in NJ.One was for no seatbelt and one was for speeding.It was for going 5 miles over limit!The speeding is 2 points.But my driver record is perfect,except for this speeding ticket. I know it gets reported to motor vehicles,but what about insurance points?How does that work?Will my insurance go up?""

Health insurance deductible?

Okay, so I don't fully understand how insurance works and I can't seem to get an answer to my question. My health insurance deductible, do I get it back? As in after exhausting it through appointments/hospital visits/ect. Do my monthly payments go back towards that? Is it gone for good? I haven't even been able to get someone from the company on the phone to answer me!! Please help. Thank you!""

How much does car insurance lower when you turn 21?

I have insurance with Farm Bureau, and I have a completely clean record. I hear insurance lowers when you turn 21, anyone know about how much? I pay about 600 a quarter..""

How much should car insurance cost me?

im 16 and ive been saving some money for a while and i bought a 1998 honda civic, im currently paying $265/month for insurance is that too much, because im not sure im going to make the insurance this month because my hours were cut""

Taxi insurance?.....?

Just wondering how much about the taxi INSURANCE is to be a driver. Im 21, have my own car. Normal insurance is around 240 PM (60 week). Anyone know how much extra on top of that for taxi insurance? Around 30 more ive been told?""

17 Year Old Motorbike Insurance?

What would you estimate the insurance costs are for a 17 year old riding a C.P.I Sprint 125CC?

Can I have two different life insurance covers?

Suppose I have two different life covers (insurances), one is an endowment/whole life insurance and the other is a term insurance. In case I die within life cover period, will the two different insurance companies give the separate sum assured amounts in full to the nominee?   Will the same rule be valid if I take two such life insurances from same company? I am asking because I have one whole life policy which I may or may not continue, so to get advantage of lower premium, I am considering taking one term insurance as soon as possible (but ultimately I may continue the previous policy too because I have already paid good amount of premium).

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/term-insurance-whole-robert-ryan/"

[holbyconfessional]

Casualty S32 Episodes 8-14

Finally got caught up.  Since this is SO historical now, I’m going to put the whole lot under a cut, save dashboards!!!

Casualty S32 Episode 8

I found the COTW here pretty heartbreaking, the elderly couple with the woman dying from COPD.

Connie finally confirms to Ethan that the patient she's been discussing with him is herself.  And then proceeds to blackmail him about his role in Scott Ellison's death, in order to force him to perform an off-the-books emergency embolectomy to save her arm.  Great leadership skills!

Alicia passed her driving test, despite being a shockingly awful driver, already responsible for several accidents.  Nice.

Casualty S32 Episode 9

Nosy and unpleasant Louise has discovered Sanosi.  It gives her an excuse to be rude and aggressive to Dylan, lots.  But, don't forget folks, we're supposed to like Louise because she always does the 'right thing' in the end - in this case, spiriting Sanosi off Dylan's boat, just in time to save the day as Connie goes barrelling in, expecting to find something.

Lily is jealous of Iain and Sam's easy relationship.  She can't see that Sam is 'a lad' and Iain is so much a lad that he barely hit puberty, and frankly, she's never going to get the grown up relationship she wants from him.

A return of the transgender morgue worker, which was good - I like her.   And most of all, I loved the chat between her and Max, where he tells her all about Zoe, and how she left because she was afraid of happiness, and how he thinks about what his life with her would have been like every day.  It broke my heart a little.  You don't get chemistry like theirs every day, and I wish she hadn't left - him or the country!

Casualty S32 Episode 10

Elle and Marty.  Here is where I amuse myself with my outraged old lady rant...  Now, I'm not a single mother of three boys, but I'm pretty sure if I was, I wouldn't be having men over to shag in my house unless I was sure that a) it was a solid relationship, and b) they had met my kids in a low stress environment.  I don't deny the fact that Elle has a right to a life, including a love life, outside her role as a mother, BUT, as a mother, her kids need to come first when managing such a life, and part of that means setting an example.  In this day and age where kids learn WAY too much of their sexual knowledge from porn, I'm not sure it pays as a parent to model anything like a promiscuous lifestyle, and for her kids to come in and find a complete stranger in bed with their mother... Well... You see where I'm coming from.  On the flip side, I may not be an Elle fan, but anything that highlights any sort of relationship chances for us older women, in whatever orientation, then I say, you go, girl!

But, also in the story.  I don't know how old Blake is supposed to be, but isn't he a bit old for the 'if Mum gets a partner, I'm afraid she won't love me any more' thing?  I don't know that much about teenaged boys, but it didn't ring entirely true for me.  Going with the chilli powder being nothing more than a practical joke would have sat with me better.

Dylan. I feel really awful for him right now, as someone who doesn't forge relationships easily, he was clearly really attached to Sanosi.  Of course, he did the right thing, he's perfectly right that Sanosi could never have the life that he dreams of when always on the run and in hiding, and it was perfectly valid that Sanosi wouldn't be able to see that, and would only see how Dylan had let him down.  With Dylan's own history of OCD and mental health problems, I will be interested to see where this development drives him.  I am always happy for more Dylan on the screen.

Connie. Right, so her tumour is malignant.  Worst possible news.  And she's still burying her head.  I'm all for not rushing storylines, but I think we need to move on this one, folks.  I love Connie, and like Dylan, I am happy for her to have screen time, but dragging this storyline out much more risks losing its momentum, and for it to just become boring.   IMO!

COTW, I'm still not sure why the girl was put into care.  As a mother, if there is any risk that your partner might in any way hurt your child, don't you ditch the partner and keep the child, rather than ditching the kid??!!  I know that jury was out as to whether partner hit mother, but surely all the more reason?  Incidentally, I do appreciate how hard it is for some people to escape from domestic violence, but the mother didn't seem like an utterly downtrodden victim to me.  Comments welcome from folk who may know far more about it than I do, and no offence meant if I've shown ignorance.

Casualty S32 Episode 11

So, there's a new F1 called Rash, who pukes when he gets nervous and makes lots of mistakes.  

Lily and Iain's relationship is a little strained after her jealousy toward Sam, and Lily wants to apply for the project in Hong Kong, but after Iain comes back round and stops giving her the cold shoulder, she self sabotages her presentation so she doesn't have to make a decision.   Everything I've just said is wrong on so many levels.  I think the way Iain treats Lily is pretty vile.  He has a right to be angry over the ketchup/Sam incident, but not to give her the cold shoulder every time she doesn't behave according to his doctrine.  He's just a spoiled little brat.  And as for self sabotaging for a man, well, need I say more about the stupidness?!!  Still, good for her for finally making the right decision, even in the face of Iain's grand and embarrassing karaoke gesture!

COTW continues the theme of unhealthy relationships, with the love triangle of man leaving partner for her best friend.  Wake up, best friend, like that dude was ever going to be trustworthy!  Proven by his about face at the end.  Good for the woman to turn him away in favour of supporting her friend.  Who is still her friend, despite the attempt to run off with her man?  I'm all for sisterly support, but even I think that might be going a bit far...

Casualty S32 Episode 12

'I know what you did'!  Perhaps a wee bit childish of Max, but pretty serious overreaction from Ethan!  I hope this Scott Ellison guilt won't be everlasting, because although in reality, I'm sure it will stay with him forever, as a viewer, it's a bit like flogging a dead dog...

I was intially pleased when it was announced Sam was to return to Casualty.  And happy to see her for her first couple of episodes.  But tonight has helped to remind me just how annoying she could be.  I mean, she threw Iain's phone out of a moving ambulance window!!  In WHAT UNIVERSE could she possibly imagine that this behaviour might be acceptable??!!!  Phones aren't 50p, and people rely on them (rightly or wrongly) to live their entire lives!  I can't even begin to articulate how disgusting I think her behaviour was.  And Iain more or less let her get away with it.  Euch.

Slightly different COTW in the former abuse victim ambushing then manipulating the paedophile into holding up a store.  I think the storyline was all kinds of uncomfortable, from witnessing the psychological damage to the victims, shown in the evidence of Ocean's self harm, and the fact that she feels the only think open to her now is to mount a personal vendetta on abusers, by deliberately seeking them out through chat rooms, and attempting to force their arrests through other means.  I think the fact that she didn't seem to understand the gravity of what she had done, in terms of the safety of innocent bystanders (collateral damage?) spoke volumes to the degree of psychological trauma that she had experienced. And that is not even mentioning the presence of the paedophile himself, a father to two young children.

The other COTW was the homeless man, who had been picked up for a one night stand by someone of some seeming privilege.  I'm not sure what this story was designed to highlight - perhaps a seasonal reminder that homeless people are rarely homeless by choice, but rather caught in a cycle that try as they may, they're unable to break.  Perhaps this could have been a more powerful story if it hadn't been chosen to play against the far more hardhitting paedophile case.

Casualty S32 Episode 13

It's about time we got some closure on the Robyn/Glen storyline.  I rather enjoyed the huge flashback/fill in the gap section of this episode, I'm not saying I was ever a massive Glen fan, but it was an interesting and refreshing change.  I felt a little bad for him at how badly people treated him - on the one hand, I know he walked out on Robyn at the altar, which is an unbelievably shitty thing to do (he should have done it before 'the day' ;-)), and I really dislike people's propensity to 'know' what's best for other people - by and large, folk should have the right to make up their own mind; but regardless of all that, I think it's safe to say his heart was in the right place, and there was of course a little more to it than your average jilting.

Robyn 'He's here to hold his daughter.  Who was here to hold me through all of this?'  Selfish, selfish person, surrounded by family and friends, support on every side - Charlie and Duffy giving her and her daughter a home, everyone rushing round to be there for her at every turn.  I shake my head at her.

On the plus side, lots of 'Dee Dee' in the flashback, which was a winner. I like the mention of his past drunken reveal to Zsa Zsa about his crazy family.  Do we know much about his crazy family?  Has it been covered before?  I'm dredging my memories, but coming up blank.  If anyone does have any recollections, do tell me...

One thought I do have about this episode, which is likely highly controversial - as a non-religious person, why is Robyn getting Charlotte christened?  I could understand (although not really agree) if Robyn was a churchgoer herself, but why do it since she's not?  To cover bases?  I think that's rather missing the point of religion, no?  (This taken from E12, where Max says he doesn't know why she's doing it as she's not religious and neither is he...)  Now, I could continue talking about my opinions on this for some time, but I don't want to get soap boxy, so I shall desist.  Plus side of this part for me?  Yay, Lexy!

Casualty S32 Episode 14

So, last episode wasn't merely closure for the Robyn/Glen storyline.   Because Glen is back.  As a porter.  Short or long term, I wonder?   After all, we know his tumour hasn't been cured, although it's at bay.   Ah, well, we'll see.  Still, lots of chances to see people be unnecessarily mean to him.

Thank goodness Connie has finally started her chemo.  Ethan in charge of the ED, fairly unsurprising that he should initially make a hash of it, only to save the day!  I liked that he took Connie there, then went and collected her afterward, though.

COTWs, young boy looking after younger brother suffering from CO poisoning.  I really hoped they could stay together.

Priest with a tattoo trying to remove it because he thinks his new congregation won't like it.  Is that a thing?  I thought priests only felt guilty in the eyes of their god?  After all, if he was comfortable enough to get the tattoo in the first place, why on earth would other peoples opinion matter that much??!!

[dyernews]

A Step by Step Guide to Publishing Your Book

At one point or another, many of us have dreamed about becoming a published author. There are many reasons why people want to publish their works, ranging from the desire to relate to an audience, share their knowledge and skills with others, or perhaps even make a little bit of money. No matter your reason for wanting to publish, achieving that dream may not be as far fetched as you might think.

Two summers ago I authored a book titled The E-Ticket Life: Stories, Essays, and Lessons Learned from My Decidedly Disney Travels all about my trips to various Disney theme parks around the world. Clearly the market for such a book was a little too limited for the likes of Random House and so, after trying a few smaller publishers, I wound up partnering with a Disney fan site called LaughingPlace to self-publish the title. As part of this process I learned a lot about the how publishing works including submitting a proposal, what goes into laying out a book, and how you go about the promoting the title once it’s done.

If you’ve ever thought about writing and publishing your own book but don’t know where to start, here’s is a complete guide to helping you bring your idea into print.

Finding a Publisher

For some people the idea of self-publishing involves too much risk and, quite honestly, not enough prestige. Unfortunately the odds of a publisher approaching you for the rights to your book are slim to none if you don’t have a literary agent in your corner — and obtaining one of those is a process in and of itself. That being said there are still publishers that accept unsolicited submissions and could prove to be a great partner for you and your work. Here’s what you should do if you really want to get your book published by someone else:

Search online

There are a couple of ways to go about looking for a publisher and both of them start online. One plan of attack is to look at books that have similar markets to yours and see who published them. Typically you can find their website and poke around to see if you can find any contact information or, even better, a link that says “Author Guildlines.” Be prepared to come across a few “We do not accept unsolicited materials” notes in your search but don’t give up!

Another way to go about your search is to specifically look for publishers who will accept submissions. This can be achieved through Google queries where you’re sure to come across lists of publishers like this one that can give you a jumping off point. In some cases you may find that the information is outdated or the publisher is no longer seeking new authors but, trust me, there are still plenty that do.

Pay attention to what they want

The fastest way to a rejection is to ignore a publisher’s request. Often times those that accept submissions are very focused on a certain genre or style of book. If your book doesn’t fit that description, don’t waste their time by submitting.

Additionally some publishers will be very specific about what they’d like to receive from authors. This could range from a simple query letter or informal e-mail to a full-on book proposal (which we’ll cover in a moment). If you jump the gun and send a book proposal when they only wanted an e-mail, chances are you’ll have not only wasted your time but also erased any interest the publisher may have had in your project.

How to Write a Book Proposal (Non-Fiction)

Even if it’s not the first step in your correspondence, it’s very likely that a publisher will want to see a formal book proposal before officially greenlighting your non-fiction book. In fact preparing a proposal before you even search for publishers can helpful in that it will get you to flesh out your idea, research the market you’re looking to enter, and distill your perfect pitch to pass onto publishers. Plus, with the heavy lifting done, you’ll only have to make some small tweaks for tailoring as publishers do ask to see your full proposal.

Once again it’s important to pay attention to exactly what publishers want in your proposal, but it will typically include several sections of information about the book as well as a sample chapter. In addition to an overview of your project including an estimated length you’ll likely also want to include demographic research about who you think your target market will be, a list of titles your book will compete with as well as some that it will compliment (hint: the complimenting titles section should include books published by the company you’re applying to), chapter outlines and descriptions, and a sample of your manuscript — usually the first chapter or two.

For more in-depth info about preparing your proposal, I highly recommend the aptly titled book How to Write a Book Proposal by Michael Larsen. This easy read will tell you everything you need to know about the process as well as how to make your proposal look as professional and polished as possible. In fact, even when publishers passed on my book idea, many still complimented the proposal I learned to craft from reading Larsen’s work, so that’s a pretty good endorsement I suppose.

Keep trying

A word of warning: there’s a very good chance that one or several publishers will reject your idea. It’s nothing personal — not every idea is right for every publisher. If you’re really dead set on finding a publisher for your book, you’ll have to press on anyway.

Also be warned that some publishers simply don’t have the time to respond to all submissions. In an odd way you may find that getting a rejection letter is actually better than getting no letter at all. At the very least publishers should tell you how long their typical review window is so you’ll know when it’s time to move on to the next one. Unfortunately that is not the case with all publishers so expect some long silent rejections as well.

How to Self-Publish a Book

Whether you’ve exhausted your options for traditional publishing or that was never a goal of yours to begin with, self-publishing can be a great way to get your book into the hands of readers. Best of all the process has been made much easier over the years, allowing authors with all sorts of budgets to see their work in print. As result there are several different routes to take when looking to self-publish, so let’s jump in.

Consider still preparing a book proposal

In case you skipped over the “Seeking a publisher” section, I wanted to mention how helpful preparing a book proposal for your non-fiction title can be even if you have no intention of submitting to publishers. By going through the process and research associated with producing a proposal, you’ll help ensure that your idea is viable enough to fill an entire book and be better informed about the market you want to sell to. This information can be invaluable, especially since you alone will be responsible for marketing and selling your title. Even if you skip some of the sections that make up a full proposal, it can still be a great exercise that will make writing your manuscript that much easier.

Picking the Right Self-Publishing Service

As I mentioned there are now several different self-publishing services that not only print books but also offer editing, design, and cover art assistance as well. Because of this you may want to start researching different options even before your manuscript is complete. Choosing the right service will involve setting a budget for your project, assessing how much help you’ll need to turn your manuscript into an actual book, and what kind of distribution you’re hoping to get.

CreateSpace

One of the most well-known self-publishing options available today is CreateSpace. Part of their popularity is likely due to the fact that the platform is owned by Internet giant Amazon. Depending on your feelings of that particular company you may see that a positive or a negative, but the truth is that CreateSpace has plenty of options that will appeal to a wide variety of authors. Additionally, in the interest of full disclosure, they are the only service I have personal experience with and can talk about in-depth.

What I appreciate most about CreateSpace is that it makes it easy to calculate expenses and publish on a budget. In fact their website allows you to estimate how much your book will cost per copy after accounting for options such as book size, black and white or color printing, and using cream or white paper. Additionally you can peruse the other added services they provide such as interior design for your book and even cover art. However what excited me personally was that, by declining those extra services, I was able to create my book and buy copies for only the price of printing and shipping — about $6 for a single copy ($3 for the book and $3 for shipping).

With CreateSpace being owned by Amazon, they also make it very easy to list your title on Amazon and have orders fulfilled by the site. This allows you to collect a royalty for each sale, which you can also calculate on their site before even signing up. While I do make far more by selling books myself, I’d be lying if I said that letting Amazon do all the work while I sit back and get paid wasn’t pretty great.

Other services

CreateSpace may be the biggest option out there right now, but they’re far from the only one. In fact there are plenty of full-service self-publishing companies out there that may work better for what you want and need. For example, I’ve had friends use Dog Ear Publishing, which offers a number of packages that include everything from copyediting to marketing assistance.

Of course you can also do it “the old-fashioned way” and contact a printing company to produce your book. This route may cost you more upfront but actually come out to less per book. You’ll also have more options for how the book looks, allowing you to completely customize your vision. Rates and services may very and so, if this route interests you, it’s best to do your own research on printing companies you can work with directly on your project.

Writing and Editing Your Book

Depending on your skill sets, writing your manuscript could either be the easiest or the hardest part of actually producing a book. If you don’t have much experience writing (or at least writing something of length) the prospect of completing a book may seem daunting at first. However, by setting goals for yourself to meet as well as getting outside input from others, you’ll be able to get your ideas onto the pages and have them ready for others to read.

Producing your manuscript

The best advice I can give any author is to find a way to break down your project into smaller, more manageable pieces. Very few people can sit down and crank out 300 pages but maybe you can produce 10 pages of rough material in a few hours. This is how you have to think in order to make it through a full manuscript.

Obviously there will be times when inspiration hits you harder than other times, but it may still be helpful to set page count/content goals for yourself. This will assist you in staying on track and on your way to completion. Also, as I eluded to, don’t stress yourself out over rough draft material — you’ll always have the chance to clean it up and bring your work up to your standards. In fact the beauty of self-publishing is that you can continue to make edits even after your work is out there!

The technical stuff

When potential authors approach me to ask about the process, one of their most common questions is what I used to write my manuscript. Personally I simply used Microsoft Word, double-spaced, in Times New Roman 12-sized font. However be advised that all of that will change as you move your manuscript into layout mode for publication, so really you use whatever word processor you wish.

A follow-up question is usually “how does Word page count compare to a book?” and, unfortunately, that’s hard to say due a great number of factors. If you want to get a somewhat better idea of how your manuscript will translate, consider adjusting your Word page layout to match the trim size you plan on using for your finished book. This still won’t give you a full idea of what your final page count will be but it will help give you a more accurate estimate.

Lastly, just like I recommend breaking your writing goals down into small pieces, I would also advise you to save your chapters as separate files. This will help prevent your word processor from lagging as your file grows larger and larger. Additionally doing so will come in handy if you end up laying out your book yourself.

Editing, copy editing, and more editing

Have you ever found a typo in a published book before? They do happen and they can be very distracting to readers (not to mention embarrassing for authors). But there’s more to editing a book than just catching typos — working with a great editor can help elevate your book and ensure that it’s something readers will enjoy.

There are several freelance editors you can hire to give you feedback and notes about your work. Some will look over your manuscript once while others will actually join you for the full process, giving their input along the way. Unfortunately this service doesn’t always come cheap and finding an editor that’s right for your project can often be a tall task. However, if you really want to make your book the best it can be and are open to constructive criticism, sites like

Upwork

ServiceScape

Freelancer

Fiverr

As for the typo catching, you may actually need an entirely different person for that (but not always — make sure you know what services your editor provides before hiring them). On the whole, “editors” look at the overall content of your book while “copyeditors” deal with the grammar and spelling in your manuscript. Many copyeditors freelance as well and boast a variety of rates. Once again you can find copyeditors on many of the sites above.

Ultimately getting at least a second pair of eyes on your work before sending it to print is a must. Even if you don’t end up springing for an editor you may want to solicit feedback from a friend or family member to ensure everything you say in your book is coming across the way you intended. Additionally, unless you have some very keen-eyed friends, hiring a copyeditor is worth the extra cost more often than not.

From Manuscript to Printed Book

Once every word in your manuscript is perfected it’s time to think about what else makes a book a book. This includes designing the interior, creating the cover, and preparing it for print. If you’re well versed in these departments you may be able to finish up the process by yourself. Otherwise this is where the production of your book could get a bit expensive.

Interior design

When you look at the inside of a book, you’ll notice it’s more than just words randomly strewn on a page. In fact you may have never actually realized how much blank space is on each page, allowing you to hold the book without covering up any text. Then there are images, headers and/or footers, and other stylistic additions that must be chosen carefully. All of these elements will make up the interior design of your book and will need to be considered.

There are several different people you could hire to help you layout your book, ranging from typesetters to formatters to designers. Meanwhile others might dabble in a bit of everything to complete your full interior. Either way you may decide to hire a freelancer or simply look into some of the added services provided by CreateSpace, Dog Ear, and others. However there is always the option to give it a shot yourself.

Admittedly laying out your own book is a large task and can be time consuming. There is also a lot of room for error, which is why you can surely find plenty of articles on the Internet advising you not to even attempt it. However, as someone who designed his own book interior, I say give it a chance. Of course this isn’t to say that my interior is perfect by any means, but I was very pleased with what I was able to do considering how little I spent.

The first step if you want to design your own book interior is to download a program called InDesign. This Adobe program typically gives you a free one-month trial to play around and see if you have what it takes to finish the job. From there a series of YouTube videos should help give you a basic idea of how the program works, allowing you to customize the look of your layout. If you do need more time after your free month, thankfully Adobe now offers monthly subscriptions that will allow you to keep the full program for $30 a month (less if you pay for a full year).

Again I will warn you that this is an advanced program and may prove too difficult, especially if you’re not very tech savvy. However I do honestly think it’s worth at least trying. After all the first month is free and, if nothing else, perhaps you’ll be able to work up a sample to show whomever you do eventually hire what type of look you were going for.

Cover art and text

Just because they say not to judge a book by its cover doesn’t mean that everyone heeds that advice. In fact your cover art could either attract an interested buyer or show your lack of professionalism and cheapen your work in the eyes of a potential reader. That’s why it’s important to put a lot of thought into the how you describe your book both with the cover art and the back text.

Unless you are an artist or graphic designer, this is one step where you will definitely want to reach out for help. Whether you commission the art separately from the layout or ask the same person to do both, it’s well worth the money to create a cover that grabs people’s attention and gets them interested in your book. Additionally you’ll want to consider whether a glossy or matte finish will look best for the art on your book cover.

Lest we forget there are actually two covers to a book and the back is just as important as the front. Traditionally the back cover is where you can really hook readers by giving them a small preview of what your book has to offer. If you’re able to get great review quotes from well-known names you’ll want to find a way to work those onto your cover. However still be sure to tell readers what the book is actually about and not just that people like it.

Getting ready to print

You are now tantalizingly close to being ready to publish your book but there are still a few other things you’ll need to do. The first is obtaining an International Standard Book Number (ISBN). If you’re using a service like CreateSpace, this may already be included (or you can upgrade to a custom ISBN, allowing you to list your own publisher name on the book) but you may need or wish to purchase your own. Note that you will need a separate ISBN for different versions of the book, meaning your hardcover edition and paperback will need different numbers, as will an e-book version. The leading service for buying bundles of ISBNs is Bowker, who sells 10 for $250.

If you plan on selling your book at retailers you’ll also want to create a barcode to affix to your back cover. This will include both your ISBN and your cover price so that information will come up when scanned. Digital barcodes can be ordered online from a number of sources and should be placed in the bottom right corner of your back cover.

Once you’re interior and exterior is ready to go, it’s best to save each file as a .pdf. In CreateSpace you’ll be able to upload both of those files and even see a digital preview of what your interior will look like. From there you can submit your book and order a proof!

Review your proof before doing a full run

The final step before sending your book to print is getting a proof copy that you can inspect for errors. This is especially important if you designed the interior yourself as common errors include making the gutter (the space in between the left and right page) too small or using a font that isn’t as pleasing in print as it was on a computer screen. Each service will vary but there should still be time to make the necessary adjustments and try again.

As I mentioned CreateSpace offers a digital proof you can see online. However I would still, without a doubt, recommend ordering a physical copy as well. While you are most likely very excited and want to hurry up and put the book into production, you will thoroughly regret that decision if you find an error after it’s too late to fix it.

Promoting Your Book

Regardless of whether you ended up working with a publisher or decided to put the book out yourself, it is still in your best interest to promote your work to the best of your ability. This includes spreading the word on social media, selling signed copies, and much more. Here are a few things to think about as your roll out your marketing plan:

Take advantage of social media and e-mail lists

Social media is one of the most powerful tools available to authors today. Even if you don’t already have a massive following, there are still ways to reach out to potential readers. For example consider doing a profile search for Twitter users who may be interested in your book and start following them and retweet and/or reply to their Tweets. You can also try targeting hashtags, inviting people to like your Facebook page, and experimenting with promoted posts and ads.

Another great way to reach people is to utilize an e-mail list. This process can actually start before your book is even done. One idea that can help promote sales is to offer readers a free sample chapter of your title when they sign up for you list. That way you can follow up with them when the book becomes available and down the road as you release even more content. Tools like GetResponse, Aweber, and Drip can help facilitate this process for free or for fairly cheap.

Run contests on social media and with media partners

Everyone loves free stuff so why not entice them with prizes while promoting your book at the same time? Working with various sites and influencers to give away copies of your book or just doing so yourself can help raise awareness for your title and make people excited about it. Pro-tip: iBooks even allows you to generate promo codes for free download copies so you can give something away without even needing to spend any money.

Of course you can give away copies on your own as well. This can be as simple as choosing a random person who retweeted your requested post by using simple tools like TweetDraw. Another route is to run a sweepstakes that requires entrants to fill out a form, which services like ViralSweep can help with. The bonus here is that you can help build that aforementioned e-mail list.

Aside from print media and websites you might also want to look for podcasts you can request to be a guest on. What’s great about podcasts is that they can maintain very niche fan bases, potentially giving you a very receptive audience. You give the podcasters content, they get to give something away to their listeners that didn’t cost them a cent, you get to promote you book, and everyone’s happy!

There are a couple of easy ways to find podcast candidates. On Google use their search operators plus your target audience keywords. For example if I where to look for personal finance podcasts I’d type in the Google search box:

intitle:podcast + “personal finance”

or

inurl:podcast + “personal finance”

As you can see you will find a number of podcasts on personal finance as well as articles on personal finance podcasts that might be good fits.

Another good way to find podcasts is to go directly to iTunes, choice podcasts from the dropdown menu and search for your area of interest. iTunes is the biggest podcast host so you will find many options to choose from. Just click on the links and checkout the show information to see if it is a good fit.

Lastly checkout Soundcloud and do search for people + your area of interest. For example https://soundcloud.com/search/people?q=personal%20finance

There aren’t as many results as you will find on iTunes but you will still find some good candidates.

Solicit reviews

Speaking of the media, getting reviews for your book can be a great way to spread the word. Of course there is always the chance of getting negative reviews but it’s still worth a shot. Plus, even if the reviewer didn’t care for your work, their write up of it might still pique another reader’s interest.

It is best to start sending out review copies before a book’s official release so starting compiling a list of people to reach out to now. Additionally you may want to grow your presence on Goodreads, a site which allows authors to engage with readers. Just be sure to fill out a full profile and interact with users beyond just plugging your book.

Additionally don’t forget to also ask readers who enjoyed your book to leave a review on Amazon. This is an easy way to help others find your title and decide to buy. It’s against Amazon’s rules to pay people for reviews but, if you ask really nicely, they’ll probably do it for free. 😉

Selling signed books and arranging events

You’d be surprised how much more some readers will cherish a book if it is signed by the author — even if they had never heard of you before. That’s why offering a way for them to obtain signed copies of your book is a brilliant way to move merchandise. This can be accomplished by opening up an e-commerce section of your site or using platforms like Square you can use independently.

Signing up for Square will give you a sales page that you can customize with different options (for an example you can check out my store page). Other cool features include the ability to track inventory and use of Square’s card readers, which will definitely come in handy during in-person events. Although Square will charge you credit card processing fees on each transaction, the e-commerce site itself is actually free, making this a good place to start if you don’t already have a commerce-friendly site.

As far as promoting your signed copies, that’s where social media comes in. Often times I’ll still share my Amazon link but am sure to mention that signed copies are available exclusively through my online store. Furthermore I sell signed books for 20% less than the list price since the extra margin I earn still makes this a lucrative price point. Such a strategy makes buying from me even harder to resist, although the Amazon route is still available to anyone who wants it.

With all of this talk about self-publishing and Amazon, let’s not forget that there are still bookstores around as well. Perhaps an independent bookstore in your area would love to have you come do a book signing in their shop (provided that they buy the books at wholesale and make a profit on each copy, of course). Similarly be on the look out for expos and conventions that might be a good fit for your book’s intended audience. For example, given the Disney-centric nature of my book, LaughingPlace and I choose to get a booth at the 2015 D23 Expo — a biennial convention hosted by the official Disney fan club (in fact we already booked our booth for this year’s event as well). The one downside is that you’ll likely have to pay a fee to have a booth but it could prove to be a good investment if you know how to sell.

If you do get a table at an event I humbly recommend printing up flyers or bookmarks with info about your book. Not only will this save you a lot of talking but will also remind people to seek out your book later if they don’t end up purchasing on the spot. Personally I went one day without flyers and will never make that mistake again.

Hopefully this guide to publishing your own book didn’t leave you feeling overwhelmed. While there is certainly a lot of work that goes into book publishing (even if you do have an actual publisher), it can also be a very rewarding experience. Just remember to take it step by step and keep moving forward — all that hard work will pay off when you finally see the book you authored sitting on your shelf.

The post A Step by Step Guide to Publishing Your Book appeared first on Dyer News.

[the-record-columns]

Jan. 4, 2017: Columns

Scrooge revisited

By Ken Welborn

Record Publisher

Who would have believed it — 2017 already?

Through this past summer I heard myself saying to folks, "...if you just blink twice, you'll find yourself singing Auld Lang Syne, and wondering how another year has passed you by so quickly."

At least I was on the money with that one.

Then there are the expressions about time. You know, sayings like "...when I was a kid, Christmases seemed to be two years apart, and now, it seems like we have Christmas every six months." Or my personal favorite, which I overheard one evening as I was stuffing myself at dinner in a local restaurant, a man about two tables away was obviously being treated to a birthday dinner by some of his friends and remarked, "You know, whoever is in charge of cranking out these days anymore, sure seems to be cranking a lot harder than they used to."

And, what would New Year's be without resolutions.

Invariably, these include some draconian, often unrealistic, pronouncements about losing weight or drinking less. Other popular resolutions often consist of solemn pledges to quit smoking or to stop swearing. These, and countless other well-intended promises, are all made in good faith, but are usually long forgotten by the time the Super Bowl party begins in January.

I know.

I have made them all myself — and broken them.

Just last week, I listed some easy resolutions for a slug like me.

This year, however, I resolve — sorry, I just couldn't resist that one — I resolve to make a different kind of resolution. I am going to try to do better by my fellow man, to not be a Scrooge, if you will.

You'll notice that I said, "I'll try."

Perhaps it is having the sense to insert that little caveat that gives me a chance to follow through on this resolution. I know that I am human, and that circumstance will sometimes make it easy, or at least tempting, to forget my promise, but I am going to give it my best shot.

I have known about Charles Dickens' famous book, A Christmas Carol, all my life. It is, of course, the story of the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge, who dismissed the Christmas season, and any other joy life might bring, with a gruff "humbug," as he worked relentlessly to make more and more money. The story has been the subject of countless movies and, the Monday evening before Christmas, I watched the version starring George C. Scott (of Patton fame).

I cannot remember the last time I really watched A Christmas Carol from beginning to end. I have seen snippets and bits and pieces, and it has often been on television in the background, but I can't remember when I really paid any attention to, or honestly thought about, the message of this story.

In the England of the 1840s, Dickens witnessed many men, women and children living in ignorance, poverty, disease and despair. He was something of a rabble-rouser for his time, advocating radical change. However, it was not political change in which Dickens was interested, but moral change. A Christmas Carol was the right story in the right literary and social climate.

As a kid growing up in North Wilkesboro, I knew some people who reminded me of Scrooge.

For the most part, just growing up and getting to know them as an adult was all it took to see them in a completely different light. Of course, there were exceptions here and there, like the guy who got mad every time kids crossed through his yard on the way to school. He drove long wooden stakes with "Keep Out!" signs attached into the grass near the sidewalk, and even put up a strand of barbed wire around his front lawn to keep us out. He often stood on his porch and scowled at us kids as we walked or rode by on our bicycles. He rarely spoke, and then only to rant and threaten.

Needless to say, "The Great Unwashed" took good care of him every Halloween night.

As an adult, I found him to be no different. He once called the police to complain about my dog, saying the dog was vicious. Honest, that old basset hound wouldn't bite a biscuit that wasn't properly buttered, much less that old man. There are lots of other stories I could tell about him, but it would serve no purpose. It's enough to say that, apparently, he was totally miserable, and wanted everyone else to be miserable with him.

Now, I've never thought of myself as a Scrooge before but, when I think about it, the truth is I didn't make a single effort to show that man any kindness. When he died, I made jokes about the funeral director having to pay the pallbearers.               

Where that old man was concerned, I never acted — I only reacted.

I could have been like Scrooge's nephew, who was always cheerful and kind to his uncle, in spite of constant rebuffs. Perhaps I could have made a difference, but I never tried.

This year, I promise, I'll try.

I'll try to be kinder to my fellow man, to make amends where I've erred, to forgive others, to help more, to complain less and to learn from past experiences.

The tale of Ebenezer Scrooge is not just a story for Christmas. It is a story that can and should be read aloud or watched the year round.

Happy New Year!

  Looking forward, not backward, to the New Year

By LAURA WELBORN

I love the New Year’s message from Louise Fletcher’s poem, “The Land of Beginning Again…

I wish that there were some wonderful place,

In the land of beginning again,

Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches

And all our poor selfish grief,

Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door

And never put on again.”

A new year represents a chance to start fresh, full of hope and promise that we will have great moments, ones never expected but always appreciated and that we will be able to handle the tough moments.    One of my favorite things to do is to be able to throw away my old calendars as a ritual to it really being a new year- cleaned with nothing written on it.  The old calendar represents the past and the new one is our future.  We all get a fresh start with only days to be filled in with the business of our lives, the dates we celebrate, and the obligations we will make.  It is a year of expectation and surprises of 2017.

A new year is a way to bring forth our higher side to hope we will handle things with grace and dignity and bring peace in our world.  Very few people wake up in the morning planning on hurting someone through their actions that day, most transgressions are unplanned, impulsive and non-intentional.  As we become more aware of how we sow peace or pain we can become intentional in our actions.  

Pope Francis said “May we dedicate ourselves prayerfully and actively to banishing violence from our hearts, words and deeds, and to becoming nonviolent people and to building nonviolent communities that care for our common home…”. I hope to examine my actions every day to evaluate- did I sow peace or pain?  And while I hope to sow peace I hope I am brave enough to see and acknowledge when I have harmed someone and then make it right.

I am starting the new year with good intentions, but I hope I live up to my intention of peace and maybe at the same time lose weight, exercise more and eat healthy.  I do hope to be more intentional to being a grandmother, mother and wife by just enjoying the moment and not anticipating the future.

Laura Welborn, CMSW Mediator (and gain a professional license in counseling this year 2017).  contact laurawelborn1@gmail.com

    Finally, A Breath of Fresh Air for Israel

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

 Donald Trump’s nomination of David Friedman as his new U.S. ambassador to Israel is encouraging for Israel and all who support her. It’s about time a U.S. ambassador is appointed who understands Israel’s history, security needs, the hostility surrounding her, and her international legal rights as a sovereign nation.

 Whether or not Trump will agree on all points with his future envoy is unknown, as are the final results of the nominee’s confirmation hearing; nevertheless Freidman represents the opening of a new window—and a breath of fresh air for U.S.-Israel relations.

 The president-elect’s longtime friend, bankruptcy attorney and more recently, senior campaign advisor, has made it clear that unlike the outgoing administration, Trump will not try to force Israel into political solutions or concessions that violate the will or sovereignty of its government or people, nor will he publicly air disagreements between the partners.

U.S. Embassy Move

Referring to one of Trump’s first priorities, to move the U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, Friedman announced he intends, “to strengthen the unbreakable bond between our two countries, and advance the cause of peace within the region, and l Iook forward to doing this from the U.S. embassy in Israel’s eternal capital, Jerusalem." Promising to move the embassy and then reneging on the promise has been a tradition for U.S. presidents since a 1995 law mandated the move. Every president waived it on security grounds.

The Two-State Solution

In an August editorial for Israeli news organization Arutz Sheva, Freidman wrote that the two-state solution is more like a “two-state narrative” that solely benefits the United States and the Arabs. His premise: The two-state solution relies on a ‘fiction”—that the Palestinians renounce terrorism; stop inculcating violence against Israel among schoolchildren; give up their demand for an influx of Palestinian “refugees” into Israel who have never set foot in the country; and recognize Israel.

 Settlements

Friedman said he considers Israel’s settlements to be legal, and that he would support its annexation of parts of the West Bank. He is undoubtedly aware that international law and history support his position. Unlike President Obama, an adamant critic of Israeli settlement construction, Trump will not dictate to Israel what policies it should adopt, or where it is allowed to build, Friedman said.

Friedman has deep ties to the Land. He is president of American Friends of Bet El Institutions, which supports the large West Bank settlement near Ramallah. His bar mitzvah took place at the Western Wall in Jerusalem 45 years ago. He speaks fluent Hebrew and is “a lifelong student” of Israel’s history.

His appointment drew praise from Israel and its supporters, disdain and ire from leftist media and liberal Jews such as J Street, the George Soros-funded, anti-Israel organization. He likely will face a fierce battle during his confirmation hearings.

 Zionist Organization of America National President Morton Klein said Friedman, “has the potential to be the greatest U.S. Ambassador to Israel ever. He thoroughly understands the detailed tragic reality of the Arab/Islamic war against Israel. He has a powerful grasp of Israel’s defense needs, the dangers they face, and the danger now of a Hamas/PA State. No previous ambassador appreciates the political, historic, legal, and religious rights of the Jews to Judea, Samaria and Jerusalem like David.”

 As friends of Israel, we congratulate and welcome Ambassador-designate Friedman and wish him well.

   It’s a New Year and a new chapter 

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

I like sharing good stories about people and places that make us feel good. I’m in a unique position in that I spend most of my time working on stories that have redemptive qualities, and most of them are just outright fun and enjoyable to produce.

We ask for and receive great story ideas on a regular basis from viewers and readers. It is from this treasure trove of ideas that many stories evolve, some direct and some indirect. I have often discovered an idea for an unrelated story while working on a lead. I like to think of these as our Danial Boone discoveries. They are treasures we find while exploring if we take our time, we always find something. I try never to be too rushed.

Some stories develop quickly; some take weeks or months, and some can even take years. It’s all about timing, and that’s why it is important to keep numerous stories, segments and specials in the works at all the times.  

December and January is a busy planning time for our broadcast programming, and it is a significant time to outline the New Year’s writing schedule. The year 2017 offers many exciting adventures with the show and broadcast specials. In addition to the weekly column, we are planning for a book release by the end of summer. All of this and more and I have yet to get around to making even the first New Year’s resolutions.

We have history to back up the idea of doing so. The Old Farmer’s Almanac suggest that the practice of making New Year’s resolutions started with the Babylonians as early as 2600 B.C. to reflect on the past and planning for the New Year.

During the Medieval era, knights took the “Peacock Vow” after Christmas each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

After looking at a range of reports that look at how many people keep the New Year’s resolutions Approximately ten people out of a hundred stay true to their resolution. Is it suggested that some set unrealistic goals, some of us forget to track our progress, and some of us simply forget about making them.

I was about to lose hope until I come across a Gallop poll that suggests that 46% of people who make common resolutions such as weight loss, exercise programs, quitting smoking, etc. were over ten times as likely to succeed, compared to only 4% who chose not to make resolutions.  Popular goals include eating healthier, improve mental well-being, volunteer to help others, make new friends, spend quality time with family, pray more and be closer to God, take a trip and so on.

As we consider our options on what to comment on or not, it seems logical that we reflect on the past year and think about how to enjoy a better New Year. Many things can and do happen over a period of 365 days. Life and death, birth and celebrations, love and loss, fear, trust, gain, hope and depression. We have these things and more to deal with; they are not the fault of the year. I have talked with people how have told me 2016 was their greatest year yet, and I have spoken with individuals who have said that 2016 was the worst year ever. How can it be both?  

Maybe some of us could give the “Peacock Vow” a try. A bit more chivalry would be nice. Some of us could make new friends and eat better, and we could all benefit from more prayer and a nice relaxing trip. I’m sure if we want to we can find some way to better ourselves. Here we go.

It’s time for a good story; I look forward to hearing yours.

 Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its eighth year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at 12:00 noon. For more on the show, visit  www.lifeinthecarolinas.com, You can email Carl White at Carl@lifeinthecarolinas.com.    

Copyright 2016 Carl White