#i thought of making them all music video related but then i learn i dont

[cathalbravecog]

letting the days go by

(got a feeling someone defo already drew this so i chose a different pose ref to the mv lol.)

[vonbabbitt]

Hi Von! First off, I love tetro and you've done a great job! This fangan has actually inspired me to create the fangan ideas that have been rattling around in my head for the past year. I'm currently trying to do the character building and thought asking you a few questions could be helpful! First, how did you go about things like plot and character building/character design? Second, how did you go about assembling a team for tetro?

im glad youre enjoying it! thank you for the high praise! this got long, so ill put my answer beneath the cut!

one tip ill give before i say ANYTHING ELSE because this is my strongest gripe in the fangan universe: if youre planning on making something like tetro, or any fangan at all, DO NOT CAST UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO GIVE OUT CONSISTENT WORK. one of the biggest pitfalls in fangans is that fangan directors cast WAY before they actually need voice actors. if you arent yet in a place where you are going to be able to CONTINUE REGULARLY GIVING OUT SCRIPTS, you dont need to cast yet. focus on the other tasks!

in terms of plot/character building, you should consider what roles need to be filled in the story and what types of characters will be needed to keep the story interesting/moving forward. a lot of fangans struggle with having characters that dont really do a lot - not every character needs to be bombastically doing things all the time, but every character needs to have some sort of point in being there. it can be really tricky when youre working with the usual danganronpa numbers of 16 characters per cast, but take your time and really consider how you want your story to play out.

another thing i advise strongly is to make sure you're writing your characters in a way that lets the audience connect with them. the whole drive of danganronpa is that characters will die, so your audience needs to care when that happens. one of the biggest pieces of feedback i get with tetro is people saying that they like the whole cast and dont want to see anyone die - when you can cultivate that kind of cast, death matters. give each character something the audience can relate to in some way. you can still get interesting and specific with backstories and lore, but make sure the core of the character is something that someone can connect with. for example: harada. a lot of people probably cant relate to the idea of bullying people in their youth. however, many people can relate to the idea of doing something you regret down the line because you wanted to fit in or avoid trouble. the core should be something people can connect with. focus on that core!

in terms of assembling a team, i put up a casting call page! there are a couple different websites you can use, but this is the one i find to be the most effective. i only cast voice actors for tetro - other roles ended up getting taken on by people who were eager to do more work in the project or help out. i always say that if there's a job that needs doing in your fangan, you should be prepared to do that job entirely on your own, because the odds of getting help for free are slim. other people who know nothing about you or your project arent going to want to give you free art, video, music, animation etc., and from my experience, a lot of VAs will see a casting call full of calls for animators and artists and view that as a red flag. fangans are chronically unfinished, so make sure you can do every job by yourself if need be. learn whatever skills you need! there are tutorials everywhere!

hope this was helpful in some way!

[habitsbf]

UPDATED INTRODUCTION POST

( i highly suggest ya read this post before interacting w me )

HELLO, HELLO! WELCOME TO MY BLOG :D

┄─ my 𝗇𝖺𝗆e is sai, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 i also go by ev or evan, ben, and sailoo! want to learn more about me & my blog? yes? no? well, theres more info about all that good shit down below if youre curious ↓

MAIN INFO ABOUT THE BLOG OWNER:

im a legal adult | 19 years old

i use he / they / it pronouns

transmasculine agender freakazoid. some sort of boy creature thing. not sure, but im definitely something 🏳️‍⚧️

achillean / gay | im a masc freak who digs other masc freaks. thats the gist of it.

HABIT fanatic & slenderverse enthusiast

autistic + some other things

fictionkin | HABIT, evan myers, BEN drowned, & benrey. cringe, i know!

the ; 🐇 ⦻ tag is my personal tag, other tags with different emojis are for my friends.

- i love @pagodazz a lot /p 🐍

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS BLOG:

┄─ this blog mainly exists so i have a place to yap about my main interest, slenderverse! to be more specific, mainly the series EverymanHYBRID & the characters HABIT & evan myers. i post random thoughts i have, headcanons, memes, i like to reply to asks about slenderverse, etc. i also often reblog things related to OTHER interests of mine, which i will get into down here ↓ (+ other info)

INTERESTS BESIDES SLENDERVERSE:

creepypasta | mix of canon & fanon

hlvrai / half life vr but the ai is self-aware 🫧

a few movies & shows | spree, planet terror, death proof, the scream franchise (older movies only), x-files, twin peaks, etc. i like horror & thriller films in general.

all sorts of music but mainly rock & metal

zombies 🧟 i love everything zombie related

video games such as postal, HATRED, loz, resident evil, currently attempting to get into fallout & bioshock, mortal kombat, etc.

roblox myths | i really enjoyed roblox myths when i was younger, so i still have a soft spot for some of them (mainly G0Z the clown & the grocery gang) 🎪

weapons | knives, machetes, hatchets & axes, chainsaws, guns, you name it 🪓

wolves, foxes, bunnies & rabbits

THE DREADED DNI LIST + BOUNDARIES:

( i mainly block freely without warning )

┄─ i know dni lists are pretty much useless, but i figured i might as well put one so people know what i dont support 🐾

blah blah blah basic dni criteria blah blah

adam rosner & jeffery koval (actor) supporters | dont know what they did? google is free, please use it.

TCC / true crime community | if you simply have an interest in true crime or like zero day, youre fine. if you "stan" real murderers or have edits, memes, or fanart of them on your profile, please kindly fuck off.

i dislike accounts that write smut fics about HABIT or post sexual fanart of him. i often block the accounts that do. dont take it personally or anything, it just makes me uncomfortable & i dont want to see it. i dont block every single account that posts that type of stuff though, especially if they dont post it often & add proper warnings.

idrc if NSFW accounts interact, but if youre into weird shit like detrans please dni.

[mochimouiemarty]

I need your headcanons I don’t care which character which fandom I need headcanons because you seem awesome now give them to me /affectionate

ARGHHHH IM SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER?!?!? i was drawing the pookies to go with these hcs

i jumbled all my favs together and yeah have some silly hcs (thisll prolly be rlly short, or not) not in a set order so good luck finding the characters from fandoms you know 😈/hj

CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS!! Idia Shroud, Cater diamond, Mime Bomb, Weeping Clown

- Cater once played this dress up game for fun (or to make some content out of it), got some HARSH constructive criticism, never played again (person who insulted gave him advice was idia)

- Weepy often puts wax on the hair in front of his face to keep it out of his eyes while performing. (totally not based on an oc x canon thing i thought of.)

- Mime Bomb often has makeup residue around his eyes, making him look more tired than he already is. He struggles to get it out and also doesnt see the point bcs 9 times out of 10 hes gonna be hopping on another flight anyway!!!!

- Idia is half filipino. dont try and change my mind YOU CANNOT

- Cater has freckles and used to cover them up around highschool - year one in NRC. maybe because of insecurity or to follow the current "trends". maybe both!!!!!1!1!1!1! probably still does it to this even better if no one actually knows if his freckles are real or nah

- Mime Bomb knows how to draw! always uses himself as a reference when he can. loves drawing hands

- weepy is a jack of all trades, master of none. he'd observe and learn other peoples crafts silently from other people at the circus! even if he's not that good at most of them, he knows the basic stuff.. maybe.

- Cater often puts white eyeliner on to brighten up his eyes!!

- i think idia likes watching those process videos on sculpting and carving, just traditional art in general.

- cater probably likes to deconstruct a bunch of stuff, mainly content-making related things and especially music! I saw someone mention how passionate he seems about music based on the details in his room (might sound like a total idiot rn if those details were disclosed in one of the vignettes or something) so in my heart it seems like something he'd totes do. he's also a very detail oriented person so !1!1!1!1!1

- Joker dislikes popcorn, also smells like stale buttered popcorn(/hj)

- mime bombs skin is either hella sensitive or the complete opposite. I can see him either hoarding this one brand of makeup cuz it's the only one he can use, or his skin is THAT ok with any product that he's fine with using VILE products 😭

- I like to believe that Jokers hair is either a wig (or he dyed it) and he's a brunette. or he's just silly like that yk (the most likely possibility)

- Cater has an old list of piercings he wanted/wants, idk which ones he'd want but yuh!!! maybe he got a piercing when he was younger but got caught soooo

- Idia hates oily foods

this is probably it

also have the drawings that took TOO DAMN LONG.

"one is not like the other!!!!!" ahh favs 😭🙏

these are sort of my hcs on how they'd look? or at least a reference for myself for when I draw them again, I'm too inconsistent

random, but idias hair being so expressive is my most favorite detail about his character

I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY SPELLINV MISTAKES

—

ok these took too long thank you bye

[the-astrophel-system]

do you have a list of your fave to least fave sanders sides episodes? ive seen your ts crit and i agree with most of it, but it surprised me that you didn't like svs redux? so which episodes do you like, or dont you like and why?

-🦇

Thanks so much for the question!!! I may go on another rant on specific episodes another time, but I hope this is a satisfying answer! Remember that it is okay to have different opinions, and if you like, share your rankings!

Season One Favourites:

1. Accepting Anxiety 1 & 2. How could I not rank these as my favourites from season one. The messages are getting deeper, the absolute angst and comfort, learning Virgil's name. The importance of accepting your anxiety as a part of yourself. It was honestly so beautiful.

2. My Negative Thinking. I still think this is one of my favourite early episodes. As someone with really bad anxiety, I think of this episode whenever I've having a cognitive distortion. It has helped me calm myself down, rationalise my thoughts, and please, the 'your mum' bit was funny as fuck.

3. Making Some Changes. Thomas' friends portray the sides. Enough said.

4. Alone On Valentine's Day. This one was funny, I like the Sims bit, and again the 'first you take her by the hand' bit. Little weird looking back and seeing Thomas try to woo a girl, but it was funny and it reminds me that friendship and self love is important.

5. A New Year Of Lying To Myself, In Song. First song of the series and boy is it good. Its catchy, it reminds us to be kind on yourself and set yourself up for success. Lovely.

Season One Least Favourites:

1. I'm In A Disney Show. I always, always, always skip this one. Doesn't interest me.

2. Becoming A Cartoon. Again, skip this one. I'm bored.

3. Way Too Adult. This one makes me feel bad because I cannot be an adult, and I feel like a failure! The adultery bit is funny tho, only early on, later in the series, we know Patton is smarter than this.

4. Growing Up. Again, making me feel scared and unsuccessful in my life! Stop calling me out for not having my life sorted or making the most of my potential. Also I cried for Patton in this video.

5. My True Identity. While it was a beautiful introduction, its not one I go back to or rewatch.

Season Two Favourites:

1. Selfishness vs Selflessness. I adore this episode. I absolutely adore it. I agree with everyone else that going to the wedding was terrible, but I love love love this episode. The banter, the one liners, it was so fucking funny, the change of scenery, the plot. I adore it. Favourite episode by far.

2. Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Gotta be honest, didn't love Remus at first, but this episode is so important. It's helped me with accepting my own intrusive thoughts.

3. 12 Days Of Christmas. Another beautiful song and I loved it. Adored it, all of them are so silly and funny, and just I loved it. Also the sweaters were adorable, I wish I had Virgil's.

4. Can Lying Be Good. Can an introduction be any more iconic??? I still get shivers when I watch Janus be introduced.

5. Fitting In. Now, I heavily dislike that Thomas STILL supports the Harry Potter franchise, but this episode was so cruicial in Virgil's character arc. Immediately after he is recognised for his importance, he struggles to point out to not put him in a box. And he is listened to. Chef's kiss, love this episode.

Season Two Least Favourites:

1. Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. Disliked it, heavily disliked it. I didn't personally relate to how they portrayed this. I just didn't connect to it and probably won't watch it again.

2. Moving On 1 & 2. I just really disliked these episodes. I don't really know how to explain it. Whenever I watch them, I feel like Virgil in them the entire time (ha, irony). I'm not a nostalgic person, so I relate too heavily to this and it makes me sad when I think about it.

3. Crofter's The Musical. Its cute, maybe because it was just a filler / ad, is the reason why I dislike it. I just always skip it lmao.

4. Why Do We Get Out Of Bed. Existentialism, enough said.

5. Putting Others First, SvS Redux. Now, I know I said I didn't like it, so why is it only 5th in this list? I loved the concept, I really did. But what I didn't like was how certain things were portrayed. Maybe its a mix of me questioning my own morality, but gosh it was hard to watch at points. I don't know how else Thomas could have portrayed certain things, but I didn't like the whole giant Patton Frog thing at all. I loved Janus' arguements, but near the end of the episode (pretty much after he shares his name) I feel like his personality switched up so quickly, it gave me whiplash. I understand that Janus isn't evil, he is just part of Thomas' self preservation. It was just such a dramatic and sudden change, it almost felt like I had missed a season of growth. Janus had only been in 2 episodes previously, its wild to think about. I believe he would've shared his name, but then afterwards immediately joking around with Thomas after being insulted? Why would self protection just allow that mask to stay down? Why wouldn't Janus go instantly back to that mysteriousness and then we need to later encourage Janus to open up again? Maybe Roman apologises and we have a bigger and more in depth discussion in what it means in accepting a "dark side". Maybe all of this will be addressed in the season two finale, but after over 4 years of no episodes, POF just seems rushed and unfinished.

Again! Its okay to have different opinions, feel free to share them below

[aurirorii]

my carat journey ♡︎

sypnosis: (im sure the title makes this self-explanatory but) in which i tell you all about my first impressions and journeys as a carat. (i like summed it all up so its super short)

a/n: i havent been a carat for tooooo long but nonetheless it makes me feel pretty happy to see ive come as a carat as well as how the group themselves have grown over the years c:

how did it start.. oh right. when i first came around seventeen or seen something about them it was actually back in may of 2021 from a clip i saw on youtube i saw of them on knowing brothers. this clip was when the mcs of the show were trying to guess all of the members’ names and it was the8’s turn.

i remember watching minghao doing that flip or wtv (sorry i dont remember what its called lol) n after he was all cool and stuff. and lowk i was like ‘oooooo.. hes kinda cute’ hehe. and honestly that was kinda it.

you see, it was in 2018 i was actually a k-pop stan yk during the prime era of kpop. obviously over the next 2-4 years i had lost focus. but, when i came back, that video was one of the many i had watched on youtube about kpop. and when i came back, i became a skz fan. i remember felix was my ult bias and that was that.

but that was until i came across an episode of going seventeen. pretty infamous right? god, i remember watching that episode when they were planting rice (ver-paddy) and i was hooked. i had never laughed so much, it was like my spark had come back. i say that because when i re-entered the kpop fandom, i wasn’t at the highest point of my life. so laughing that much over one video on youtube made me so happy. that was when i knew that i needed to find out who this group was and where i can watch more episodes.

that was when i realized that the group i was watching was seventeen: the group with that one cute guy with gray hair and glasses (the8)! also when i realized that vernon was in seventeen (i knew and recognized vernon bc if his cover with jeongyeon, do i need to keep explaining? i didn’t think so).

although, when i started looking into the members, one caught my eye and it was safe to say it was not the8. it was LA boy hong joshua. idk what it was really but i thought he looked so idk— beautiful. so thats what it was for me. i started stanning the group and having joshua as my new ult bias in june 2022. sadly, over time, my interest in skz started to decline. it wasn’t that skz wasn’t great, they are, y’know how it is right?

that was how my journey started. i started listening to their music, getting into going seventeen, binge-watching like all the seventeen related videos i could find on youtube, and most importantly: going through hell trying to learn all of the members.

oh. my. god. hey, you know, it took some time, but i got there! (i always messed up woozi and hoshi) um.. anyways. as time went on, obviously i was able to experience the feeling of waiting to watch their new comebacks and such. and honestly, i don’t mean to be one of those people, but seventeen genuinely brought my spark back. i had, and still, never been so interested in something until them.

around 5-6 months later, it was in novemeber 2022 when i was pretty settled into the group when my thoughts and views started to change. i was starting to focus on new members. i honestly don’t remember at all how this started but jeonghan caught my eye. and i was hooked.

idk.. hes js so.. im sure u know what i mean!!! i mean who wouldn’t? like, have you seen jeonghan? oh lordy lord. he was so beautiful yet fine yet cute yet literally all of the above. i sound like one of those crazy fans. PLEASE GUYS I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAY JUST HEAR ME OUT A TINY BIT. let a girl be delulu PLS. ok now im gonna continue being delulu for a sec thanks.

i do admit i still fangirl a bit over him, just a teensy bit!!!!! (i fucking watch edits on tiktok HELP ME I HAVE A SAVED COLLECTION IN MY FAVORITES ermmmm i js want to be organized!!!! …..) please guys im just a girl.

uh. yeah! but in all seriousness, i’m so happy that i was able to come across such an amazing group. time has passed so much and it’s crazy for me to understand that i’ve been already been a carat for almost 2 years. (pls help me ive watched like every gose episode and inside seventeen episode like 50 million times each, but honestly i’ll never get tired of it).

i’m so proud of seventeen after everything they’ve gone through. watching them win their first daesang made me feel so happy for them, they absolutely deserve it. from practicing together in a small, green walled room to selling out almost all of their shows and stages they perform on, seventeen has grown so much as not just a group but individually.

i just know that if seventeen’s predebut self saw their lives now their joy would just be through the roof. as one of the most looked-upon sunbaenims in their industry, i’m sure most people can agree seventeen tops their line of style when making music.

and i’m also so glad i decided to be a carat. i love the fandom, like i can be on tiktok for hours just laughing watching carats post the funniest memes and compilations as well as making the stupidest tweets. i can very much vouch carats are one of the most funniest, supportive fandoms out there.

so yeah, that’s about it!

[sungtaro]

hello! i really love your gifs!!!! im still learning how to do some effects and i wanted to ask if you could make a tutorial on how you did the blending for this post? https://www.tumblr.com/jikyu/733643818578198528/baby-dont-stop-2018-nct-u-for-berryjaellie?source=share i understand if you dont wanna hehe thank you so much for sharing your work <33

hi, thank you so much ! i'm not like amazing at tutorials but i'd be happy to share with you my layers & process for this particular set (she saved a psd for once ... everyone cheered!) and give some general advice + i'm going to direct you to this tutorial by @woozis who i think does a great job of explaining things and has more experience with gif blending specifically (this was my first set using 2 gifs in this way; normally i use blending for static gfx or using overlays that aren't 2 gifs from the same source content, which are both great ways to practice) . i highly recommend utilizing multiple resources to get a feel for how different creators do the thing you want to learn, but at the end of the day i basically just start throwing stuff into photoshop and watch it come together in real time with anything gfx related lol . anyways, with that big intro out of the way, let's talk about how we made this set using this gif as the example:

so step one for me working with this content aka music video was just picking out the clips i liked and knew i wanted to use in the set . when it comes to gif blending the 2 gifs you're using need to be the same exact amount of frames or you need to be able to get them there, so basically after i had just pulled as many gifs out of the mv as i roughly thought wanted to use, i imported all of them into ps to see the frame rates and started mix-and-matching the ones that were around the same length to see what would look the best layered over each other. this is very personal preference based but in this case i liked that they were executing similar choreography from different angles and in different outfits and settings. for this gif, i ended up with these 2 separate ones:

these are sharpened but no coloring added yet - as you can see one of the clips is black and white so that can be a great option for blending because you can add whatever color you want over it. of course, if the original content isn't b&w you can just put a b&w filter on it and do the same thing - i recommend this if you want to put gifs together that aren't already color compatible. anyway, once you have your gifs you convert them both to timeline and just drag and drop one over the other. it's usually not going to matter which one you put on top, but that's the one you're going to use the blending effect on, so i went with the black and white gif over the color.

to blend the gifs, i set the blending mode to 'screen' on the top gif. for this one i kept the opacity at 100% but on other gifs in this set i brought it down to around 85% depending on how it looked. then i added my coloring to the base gif + i deepened the blacks on the top gif (note that you need a clipping mask for anything you want to do to the top gif without doing it to both). this is where you'll want to start messing around as you go, screen is my most used option for these purposes but sometimes overlay or multiply looks cooler, and you can mess with whatever opacity you think looks best. here's what my layers look like at this point with that top gif selected + what the gif looks like blended before and after coloring:

already pretty cool! but i wanted to add color to the black and white to really bring the effect home. i used the eyedrop tool to grab the blue from the lighting in the bottom gif (for the other color overlays in this set, i used the red from taeyong's hair) and added that into a solid color layer over the b&w gif with a clipping mask, and set the blending for that solid color layer to 'overlay' (again, you can try different ones for the look you like best)

this is my finished blended gif, from there i just added the text! the actual process of making the gif isn't what is so time consuming imo it's more just about finding the clips that will work together and testing out what you like the look of. this one is probably my favorite blending result from the set and there are plenty of things that i feel like don't look perfect, but ultimately i'm happy with the result and i think the set looks cool anyways -- so i encourage you to just give it a try and chances are it's going to turn out looking nice!

hopefully this was helpful, happy giffing (and feel free to tag me in your works if you try this out) !!

[imunbreakabledude]

I never got why after all these leagues there isnt some kind of dupe protection in place. I know that runescape is like the grind personified into a game but at least in a limited time mode i should be able to throw back dupes like how you can in blue moons for a chance at a new unique, if not a cap on how many dupes you can get because not being able to finish your build because you got rng'd feels horrible. I also feel like some ideas could be yoinked and retrofitted from rs3 about bad luck mitigation for leagues. I fear im becoming that guy who always finds a way to shove in the thing he likes into a conversation that isnt related to it lol

Also also i really agree with you about toa in general, its a really nice looking raid and I love the music and sound effects but like 80% of it is just such a slog to get through. None of the puzzles really feel difficult or interesting since runelite auto solves like 2.5 of them and i have a special disdain for monkey room pre max hit change, its not so terrible now but i will forever hold a grudge. The puzzles feel like autopilot meh or built to annoy me specifically. I really want to like the raid because i love almost everything desert related in both games but like the only good part of it is wardens and i just dont have the patience to sit through the rest of it or god forbid i get caught on one of the zebak waves and have to weigh resetting for purple chance or just finishing the raid, can't imagine going through it on an iron pre fang and lightbearer since those are so good for actually doing toa. Every time i go into toa i always have the thought 'damn i could be doing cox right now, or like anything else'

Also also also i'm not sure if you know the trick for getting consistent one downs on het puzzle so ill just leave this short video here, if you already know about it just ignore me. Anyways sorry for yapping into your ask box and i hope osrs, and life in general, has been treating you well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA1B90KmS7U

lol i got lots to say about all this too so buckle up

first - this is funny because I actually did type more of a rant about the het puzzle which got deleted by tumblr because APPARENTLY you aren't supposed to write thousands of words in the tags... but I did know the trick for 1-downs, I learned it when trying to get the combat achievement in the maingame, but personally I find it hard to get the right position/timing for it with many of the puzzle layouts. there's like one where it's pretty easy for me to get lined up right for the 1-down and for all the others I'm sure it's possible if you set it up right but it feels like so much effort for something so stupid. and it really pisses me off that it's like, if you're tick perfect you can avoid doing the same puzzle twice but if you're one tick off you must do it twice to remove 3hp left on the statue. I don't mind perfect timing/setup being rewarded, that's cool, but I like it best when that saves you a BIT of time but it still feels viable if you're ALMOST perfect? like it just feels so annoying to know you were 0.6sec or one tile positioning away from literally cutting the room in half... especially when it's so dull to do. tbh I should just get 99 mining so i can one-down without having to be tick perfect (definitely viable to knock out 99 mining before going back to toa in leagues, maybe not in the maingame LOL)

with the toa puzzles, it's tough bc I feel like Jagex wanted to mix it up and make this raid feel a bit different than just a boss rush but I don't know that they realized just how stupid they'd feel after doing them every time? yes you can make the argument that everything in runescape is repetitive and gets boring after a bit, but at least with CoX puzzle rooms you don't always get the same ones in every raid, and some of the "puzzles" are actually combat (ice demon), and they're also just a bit faster & have a few different strategies you can use depending on solo/group and skill/gear level, versus ToA puzzles that... well, I assume Jagex wasn't HOPING everyone would instantly use plugins to solve the puzzles for them, but they had to know it'd happen. because even if you enjoy figuring it out yourself the first few times it just gets dull to do it manually after a while... so it feels like a design mistake to have 2/4 puzzles that are the equivalent of clue scroll puzzle boxes, but taking 1-2 minutes to do.

also, comparing it to another aspect of the game that gets complained about a lot - gauntlet prep - I don't hate gauntlet prep, personally. it can also be frustating if you're "on the cusp" and lose 8min of work to a close bossfight BUT unlike ToA challenge rooms it's a bit more varied and has more skill expression. and it also ties into how you face the fight - toa puzzle rooms might be more engaging if how you solved them affected the boss that comes after them? but they don't. they're just extra steps, so they feel annoying. granted I'm saying that I don't mind or even slightly LIKED gauntlet prep after getting fairly lucky at CG, but... I did that prep 300+ times and don't hate it, while I've done the ToA Challenge rooms maybe... 30 or so times and already hate them.

zebak waves are the bane of my existence too... i mean that's hyperbole but they piss me off because they are so EASY to dodge in theory and yet somehow I manage to accidentally path into them once every 5 or so raids. i remember when ds2 came out and I had done ZERO pvm that galvek fight was super hard for me to beat and his wave attack was one part i really struggled with, bc it instakilled you, but yknow what, I hate that less than zebak. bc it's just rude how zebak's waves DON'T instakill you except they give you such a pitifully small window to 'recover' that you end up just watching yourself die slowly instead of instantly while clicking in vain to try to escape. Zebak is annoying bc he feels like both the easiest and hardest boss to me - generally very easy BUT he's also the one where if things go slightly wrong... i just die. so i've been doing him first every time because I really struggle if he's leveled up by Walk the Path whereas with the other bosses i barely notice if they're leveled up.

I'm so annoyed about this raid already with leagues making me super OP so I dread going back to the regular game where i will hit zeroes. lmao. the fact that fang and lightbearer are so common (relatively speaking) definitely feels bad for mains but good for irons bc they're accessible upgrades to help doing more ToA but it's definitely rough starting out... and hey, Shadow also reallllly helps with ToA so why didn't they make that as common as fang? (/s of course lol)

re: dry protection. I feel split on dry protection in Leagues for similar reasons I feel split on it for the maingame. I'm not worried about the economic effects or anything; I think as it is already, bots and RWT fuck the economy way more than dry protection ever could. what makes me split about it is that, for better or worse, the randomness is part of this game? and the feeling of getting lucky hits different when you know how unlucky you COULD get; likewise, the feeling of going dry and then finally getting it is a really rewarding feeling... at least for SOME drops. but the fact remains that certain grinds feel way worse to go dry on, and when one person gets very unlucky and goes dry a lot of places, that just... sucks. so I'm not totally opposed to a gentle version of dry protection where the longer you go without a certain unique, your rate of it increases... I'm not in favor of guaranteed pity drops in general EXCEPT for specific situations like Vorkath's head, for simple untradeable upgrades, especially those that you already had to do a quest to unlock (side note, it pissed me off that ancient icon didn't have the guaranteed drop like vorkath's head, feels like it should).

in leagues I see the argument for it being a limited time mode so we should make it as fun as possible BUT it's a fine line to me. because as annoyed as i am not getting what i want from raids, I also don't know that it would be that much more fun for me if I knew I'd get a new purple every raid? because then it'd just become a checklist of like, "I'll do ToA ~8 times, then do CoX ~15 times, then go back to whichever one's faster for me to get other megarares for all the tasks" and the league would feel "over" even faster than it already does? as i said it's a fine line. because going dry sucks especially in a temp mode, but on the other hand, if I knew I was guaranteed to get all the highest-end drops in a certain amount of time, it would just feel like a routine to unlock it quickly then have no reason to continue. idk. it's hard to say. I've always been a proponent of making your leagues build in such a way that you know you'll have fun even if you don't get rare gear because it's kinda hard to get some items even with 5x rate. and I'm enjoying my build as it is even without full masori/tbow. I see the argument for it but idk if I fully believe in it...

I do think it was a great choice by jagex to put dry protection on the echo orbs/echo items though. because those are things that are ONLY available in this limited time mode, so making sure everyone can access them reasonably helps ensure everyone gets to try out the specific fun that's unique to this league. whereas if you can't get a tbow/shadow/whatever in th league, that might be disappointing, but you still can hypothetically enjoy those in the main game. but this is literally the only chance to play with the echo stuff.

I think they also made a great call with the megarare vouchers and making multiple purples possible for a team in ToA/HMT. and take my opinion here with a grain of salt as someone who didn't raid in past leagues and hasn't raided much in the maingame. but it still feels a LITTLE wonky now... ToA and TOB feel much better as raids to grind in leagues now, right? but now CoX feels awkwardly bad? it had the advantage before of being the only one where multiple purples could be obtained in a team (i think) but now it doesn't have the same guarantees for teams AND it has the lowest megarare chance out of the 3 raids? as someone with both zeah and desert I would go back and forth between cox and toa to mix it up but it just feels so silly when a tbow would make cox so much easier and a tbow could be obtained faster from toa, yknow?

yeah lol anyway there's all my rants about raids in leagues... definitely feeling the tiniest bit of regret over not going morytania now but this trio made sense for the build i wanted, and i might do an alt with something like VTM melee if I have the time/energy after getting dragon cup.

[nahalism]

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m the “liberal feminists are dumb” anon maybe I should pick another name to identify myself lmao but for someone so young you seem to be someone very wise. I did mean it when I called you intelligent last time, I’m curious about what made you want to learn about esotericism, while I don’t believe in everything esotericism has to say it’s definitely something that has always attracted me too. Like what books do you or have you read?

lmao, its cool come as u are. & im 25 (will be 26 in june). and thank you

i dont want to make this reply a long history of my life story, cause ultimately it will just be a story & one that may have no bearing or relation to what you feel/think. my truth is that i feel each person should believe and follow in what feels true for them. for me that is the principle of being loving and lovable, creating harmony or betterment where i go, and leaving what i touch better than how i found it or at least untainted by my presence. when i fall short of that, i dissect it and apply it to myself painstakingly so that i become a fuller expression of what i want to be and that has always been my nature. esoteric study has helped me tremendously in that pursuit, but it isnt the core reason its my nature to pursue that way of living. ive always loved the stories of people older than me, music, literature, science, history, psychology, anthropology, philosophy, building things, logic, so schools of thought whether they be animism, islam, christianity, hinduism, theosophy, syncretism, the kabbalah, the sybil oracles, are all of interest to me because theyre like giant slabs of all of those subjects put together to pick apart and bring me to a fuller understanding of the world. i take what i find to be true & apply it, leave what i dont agree with & respect it because one day i might find it relevant. but ive always said on here and still feel that its not what you know or how much you know, its what you do with it. knowing something means nothing if it cant be practically applied & my experiences, beyond any book ive ever read, are what lead me to feel conviction in my beliefs. & yes, 😂those experiences are all the typical inexplicable psychic phenomena that are usually palmed off as woowoo. so ill write a list of some authors or books that have been great resources for me over the years below, but what i hope you ultimately get from this is that its what we feel and what we experience that trumps everything. ive met many athiests that are just genuinely good people & i think that example exhibits this best. to not believe in a god or a point to any of all this and still choose to be 'good' for goodness sake is i think what all of these teachings wish for us to arrive at.

- ted andrews and ivan antic (both have many good books), manly p hall - the secret teaching of all ages, helena blavatsky isis unveiled and the secret doctrine, rudolph stiener (many good books all audio also as books on youtube), any resources left behind by nikola tesla and einstein are incredibly to marry with the content in many of these books, florence scovel shinn, krs1 (also many good videos on youtube), ralph waldo emerson has amazing insights, james redfield the celestine prophecy, the monk who sold his ferarri robin sharma, santos bonacci has a good video on syncretism & how the bible relates to astrology and the earth as a tauric field of energy, robert wang quabalistic tarot is phenomenal, and of course the bible, the quaran, the bhagavad gita, the majority of hindu and buddhist texts and whichever gnostic texts you can get your hands on. if you are a sceptic your free to remain a sceptic. the key thing is to allow the texts to meet you where you are, but to know the difference between bias and separating the wheat from the chaff. best of luck & feel free to dm me at any point

[kareofbears]

A really long post about my relationship with persona 5 

On the crisp day of november 29, 2019, i bought persona 5 on sale for six dollars. It was the last one on the shelf and i had to fight a random guy for it, even though i had only ever heard of persona from a game theory video. Played it, finished it in four months, thought it was great, but i promised myself i wouldnt play royal because “alex, you just spent 150 hours on this, are you really going to do it again?” so i was like nah, i wont play it. Thats just a waste of 85 dollars CAD, especially when you compare that to the six dollars i spent initially

And then a quirky little pandemic hit the same month that persona 5 royal dropped. 

So yeah, i bought royal pretty quickly once i realized that university was going to be completely online. Finished it in 250 hours in 28 days; less than a quarter of what it took me for vanilla. 

But the pandemic was not finished in 28 days. 

Basically, just like a whole lot of people during 2020 and 2021, i was really fucking depressed and just Not Good At All. 

Theres two reasons why i stuck with p5 for so long—one was obviously the timing of it all. Being stuck at home and playing a game that is pretty much a second life because of how in depth the world building and characters are was exactly what i needed at the time. It was the best escape i could have ever asked for. Second, its just a really really good game for me. As someone who literally majors in Cognitive Science with a minor in Political Science, yeah, this game could not have been more perfect for me. Its a game that reradicalized me, that retaught me what its like to see anger as a good thing, and especially fucking everything that happened in 2020, it was literally perfect dude. I mean, ryuji, the angriest boy in the world, became my favorite fictional character, period.

Weirdly enough, the game being so flawed probably also helped me stick around in the fandom for so long. Being angry about something was almost as fun as loving something completely. Ranting about something was as fun as making loving posts about my favorite character. Pointing out flaws in the narrative gives me the same rush as praising the music to high heaven. Hating the fandom was as great as finding someone and befriending them on discord. Everything about p5 sucked me in and kept me in, whether or not it intended it. 

Persona 5 is the type of game that is so jam packed with things to talk about that theres no way youll play it and come out of it unscatched. There really is something akin to a ‘post-persona depression’, something that makes you want to keep living in this intricate world with its characters and never-ending playthrough length and its villains and billions of themes that dont make a whole lot of sense. It was easy, so fucking easy to poke fun at it, and i absolutely did. Still do. Will keep doing.

I jumped into fandom head on during that time (that time being 2020). Ive been in many many many fandoms before p5, but i jumped into this one with a fervor in a way that i never had before. I made video edits, learned to gif, lived on pinterest/tumblr/twitter/instagram/pixiv intensely, combing through each and every thing i can find related to persona 5. For months, probably over a year, persona 5 was my saving grace. My lifeline. The call a friend option when you’re in a game show. Id be nothing without it. 

I gave my whole life to it. Every video edit took at least 6-12 hours if not more. Gifs took me a week to learn how to do and im still really bad at it (like. Really bad at it. My laptop keeps crashing cause it can barely handle photoshop lmfao). Dozens of spotify playlists, watched every youtube video i could about it, had made youtube videos about it. I talked everyone’s hear off about it—rip my beta, who knows literally every intricacy about the symbolism of running and a broken leg but not knowing jack shit about yaldabaoth (shes never played/watched p5). I made so many posts, fought so many people, befriended so many people. 

And writing. Fucking hell did i write. In 2020 alone i posted over 100k—posted. Thats not counting the dozens of half written scribbles i have between google docs and Daiso notebooks (one of them being 23k—rip that Hades AU. rip that NSFW one too). I wrote blinding lights for over three months by hand, escapril in one month, one shots consistently. I had more growth as a writer in the span of a year than i had in my whole life and i thrived at it (even though i wasnt, and still not, very good, i still improved rapidly. Even i can admit that).

For awhile, this was good. Great. I was keeping afloat, mentally, and thats all i needed. 

But then my spring semester of 2021 hit. it was by far the worst semester id ever had in my entire life. 

My gpa dropped a lot, and for one the classes i was in i was doing so so horribly that i was at a cool 30% for most of the semester, and another i was at a nice 24% for most of the semester, and as someone who is asian and has asian parents with asian mentalities, it was a huge blow to me. Top that off, my best friend and beta had left for six months to go abroad and i started doing not great things. honestly, that was an All Time Low For My Mental Health. 

I had taken a break from all social media, and had heavily leaned on persona 5 even more than i was. Anytime I wasn't strapped to my textbooks I was staring at my office wall, or longingly looking outside where i wish i was (at this point, canada had almost no access to vaccines), or thinking about p5. Over and over again, even when there was nothing to think about, I thought about p5. I was at a point where i had well and truly milked everything that the p5 fandom had to offer. I felt that i had seen everything, read everything, had formed every opinion i could, and was just grasping at air. It was so wack—i would literally get fucking sick of thinking about it because everything i was thinking of, i had already thought about hundreds of times before.  

I wanted to stay in p5, i was desperate to stay in p5, because i would much rather think about something obsessively and religiously to the point where i was nauseous than think about...life. It was a combination of hating my real life and hating my “alternate reality” that is persona 5. 

Strikers came out the same day i had failed all my midterms, but i didnt know it at the time. Actually, that was a really good two weeks—i didnt know i failed my midterms since marks werent out yet, and i got two weeks of NEW persona content. Woohoo! Score for Alex four months ago. She was so happy for a while. 

Fast forward a bit. April of 2021? Absolute hell. I had completely stopped participating in p5 at this point to make room for classes, which basically took away the only thing that even remotely made me happy. Not great, besties. 

But hey, some good news: i passed all of my classes! I literally cried for half an hour in public and called my mom immediately. She cried too. 

May was good, actually. I got my first vaccine, so I could see my friends again. I worked more, got more financially stable after taking so much time off for school. Restrictions were a little more loose, so i went out more. My beta was coming home soon. Got some sunlight. It got better, but you know, depression sticks like glue and refuses to let go. But it got better. I dabbled a little into p5 again, but it was half hearted. I still loved the game, but i didnt know what coming back to the fandom would do for me. It felt like a chore to do, and i was mad at myself, almost. Why am i not enjoying p5 anymore? I love p5. 

But p5...wasnt just p5 to me anymore. Its a symbol. It was...everything, i guess. Its a game with so much baggage to me personally. It went from a game that gave me the will to live and turned into something i needed to let go in order to live. I realized, really, really sadly and really, really painfully, that i didnt need p5 anymore. And that hurt. I always knew it would hurt when id eventually leave p5 behind. 

So i processed this in the only way i knew how—writing. I said that i would write something that represents everything i was feeling, every ounce of depression and anguish and loneliness and self hatred, and id put it in one, neat little story that also works as a goodbye to my favorite game. I gave myself a time frame: one month. July 3rd. Ryuji’s birthday. 

And i did it. Its the longest fic id ever written, my magnum opus, my starry night. The rawest piece of me, in one big google doc. I had given this everything i had, because it is everything i had. 

I felt like fucking hamilton bro. I had never written so fast, and felt so free doing it. I wrote things i had always been too scared to write—a yusuke and futaba scene (yusuke in general i was terrified of writing cause i felt i could never get him right), haru being cool, ann being a little more selfish, ryuji hating himself so so so much. Emotional kissing scenes, more argument scenes, more battle sequences, a poetic ferris wheel love scene, a mystery box type of narrative, an unreliable narrative. Jokes that i thought were funny but i was worried other people might not think it was funny. Cool scene transitions, so many em dashes, so many semi colons. Ten million metaphors. 

This was it. This was going to be my goodbye to these characters who had kept my company during the worst stage of my life (thus far). It didnt matter what sort of reception i got for this fic—whether it got a thousand comments or one. A million kudos or none. It literally doesn't matter. Because this wasnt for anyone but me, processing my own problems, and the characters i wrote about. It was my swan song. It was my tribute to these kids, but they felt more than that. It was saying goodbye to, and this may sound really sad, but it was like saying goodbye to real friends that had saved my life.

And im not saying i dont love p5 anymore, no fucking way. It will always be my favorite game, because of everything it means to me. Ill probably be buried and have p5v/r in my coffin with me as i'm lowered in. but theres nothing more for me here. I cant give anyone anything anymore, whether if its for the hypothetical you or myself. I feel like the end of the lorax, where the forest is all gone and its just me, looking at an empty field of stumps and dead grass. 

Hell, this doesnt even mean that im completely done with p5. I mean, when it comes to the pc and the switch or whatever else atlus is planning on doing, im sure there’ll be a mini fandom boom which will be cool. But i want to get to the point where p6 news will drop eventually and ill think “wow! Fantastic!” instead of being relieved at finding another thing to cling to. I want to enjoy it like a normie for once. 

I'm actually enjoying lots of different content now, which i had been too scared to do before in fear of “losing my love of persona” (wow, that sounds crazy looking back on it, but i was super serious about this). Im in the middle of playing assassins creed odyssey and im going to play Nier automata next. Im almost done watching violet evergarden (ive cried at least five times in ten episodes, its so good). I finished rewatching JJK with my beta whos finally home. I discovered lots of new artists and new songs, and i'm going to a lake trip with my best friends next week, and a trip with my family in two weeks. Im going on hangouts with my coworkers, which had been impossible to do in the past because i was so scared of the idea of being with new people. And i took a break from school for the summer, because thats the healthy thing to do.

I'm doing a lot better, i promise. 

I dont know what this post is supposed to be. Telling you my mental health? No, not really. Maybe its because i wanted to give you guys a heads up that im peeling away from p5? Eh, i guess, but not that either. This isnt a cry for help, or written so that someone out there would pity me or worse, made so that this would make you want to read my fic. God fucking forbid you think i made this so i could get a handful more kudos on ao3 asoiajdasasidjao

I think this post is more of...a diary entry for my future self, and anyone who bothers reading it can go ahead and read it if theyd like. Maybe you felt the same as me at some point, and take solace in the fact that someone out there feels the same about a random jrpg?

If you actually read this, that probably means that youre probably one of the people who made being in this wasteland of a fandom really fun and worth it.  So thank you, friend. We’re probably friends by now, right? At least a buddy. Maybe a coworker? Basically, thank you, whoever ‘you’ is. Thank you for reading, thank you for being there (even if you never interacted! I still thank you!), thank you for....existing in the same space as me. 

I hope you find comfort in your life, and are healthy. I hope you get some sun. i hope you’re doing well. 

[mbti-galaxies]

hello! sorry if this is bothersome, but i was wondering if you could help me distinguish between infp and isfp?

i’ve thought i was an infp for years now, using cognitive functions even. im definitely no expert, just kinda vaguely know what each one is, but i went through it using several sources i and was like “oh yeah oh yeah this is it” but i dont think it’s It anymore ??

i got diagnosed with adhd in december and ive been taking medication, so it’s been a lot easier to be able to distinguish what’s actually my personality and what kind of just comes from adhd. i think that i might actually be isfp. i think i related a lot to high Ne because with adhd youre always bouncing around restless wanting to do all the things, and youre brain’s always on rapid fire mode. but since ive been on meds ive been less like that and more grounded (i still do drift off a lot ofc cause that’s just how it is). and ive been able to realize that i dont actually get caught up in my thoughts a lot,,,,like i dont uhhhh care very much,,,i am not concerned with the future very much? i think im very in the present, and i kind of just do whatever is in front of me. whatever im in the mood for. sensory stuff. i love piano, ukulele, video games, drawing, etc. doing stuff with my hands. im also a dancer; it’s very fulfilling to be able to engage in something so physically stimulating and be creating art at the same time.

anyways this is so long but im very very leaning towards isfp. it’s crazy cause i used to think i was so head in the clouds but actually??? i love to be grounded?? i love to feel and see and observe things instead of be imagining and thinking about abstract stuff?? im very in the present and i Do Not think about future stuff at all? i really dont think about the big picture at all?????

i know you dont know me so you cant really tell me what my type is, but any input or other differences between infp and isfp would be so helpful!! i also just dont really trust myself and im seeking validation or correction lmao. thanks so much for reading this i appreciate you a lot

Hey!! You're not bothersome at all, I love getting asks and talking to people about their types so thank you so much for sending this!

Obviously I don't know you personally so I'm not going to claim I'm 100% sure of what you are, but right of the bat I can tell you that based on your explanation you definitely sound more like an ISFP rather than an INFP.

(I'm gonna put the rest of my thoughts and stuff under a read more cuz my response is long too lol)

First of all the fact that you mentioned being diagnosed with ADHD is actually really helpful because over the years learning about psychology (I'm majoring in it in college) and the MBTI Personality Theory I've definitely noticed that neurodivergency/mental disorders/mental illnesses play a huge role in how people interpret their type. It's really hard sometimes to tell the difference between whether a trait is your actual personality or something else going on in your brain. This is one reason why a lot of extroverts mistype themselves as introverts because they have social anxiety disorder, a lot of sensors mistype themselves as intuitives because they have ADHD(like your situation), a lot of thinkers mistype themselves as feelers because they have depression, etc.

Alright so now let's get into the major differences between ISFP and INFP.

Assuming you're pretty sure that you're at least IxFP, I won't get into the specifics of every single letter and function here, I'll just discuss the differences between having Se or Ne as your second function in the stack. (Fi-Se-Ni-Te vs Fi-Ne-Si-Te)

Compared to INFPs, ISFPs are much more grounded. Of course they still can drift off and daydream, but they tend to focus on the present more than the future and focus the majority of their stimulation on their physical environment rather than focusing the majority on their inner world.

This seems to match up with what you said: "i am not concerned with the future very much? i think im very in the present, and i kind of just do whatever is in front of me. whatever im in the mood for. sensory stuff. i love piano, ukulele, video games, drawing, etc. doing stuff with my hands. im also a dancer; it’s very fulfilling to be able to engage in something so physically stimulating and be creating art at the same time."

ISFPs also tend to be more practical overall. They can definitely see value in abstract ideas, but they don't spend hours thinking about the big picture and wild concepts like intuitives do. ISFPs may not care as much about the meaning behind something, they care more about how it makes them feel or affects the world around them. They're much more based in reality compared to INFPs, and because of this they also tend to be a little more easygoing and willing to try new things. They like to explore and observe and need outside stimulation a bit more than their intuitive counterparts, and because ISFPs are introverts, this stimulation tends to come from creative and sensory activities such as music, arts, games, etc. (In comparison to ESFPs, who might also need social stimulation in addition to these activities)

This makes sense with what you said: "i love to feel and see and observe things instead of be imagining and thinking about abstract stuff?? im very in the present and i Do Not think about future stuff at all? i really dont think about the big picture at all?????"

Some other differences between the two:

Both ISFPs and INFPs have strong moral compasses from their dominant Fi, but ISFPs may be the less strict of the two, or they may be able to change their opinions on something a little bit faster. This is because INFPs have a major tendency to overthink everything, so when new information comes in they basically have to reevaluate a lot of things. ISFPs on the other hand don't necessarily have to think through every little action that they do, if something feels wrong or they learn that something they do is wrong it's a much quicker turnaround since they don't get caught up in their head as much.

ISFPs aren't as idealistic as INFPs. Sure they have wants and dreams for themselves and the world, but they have much more realistic expectations overall.

ISFPs display their passions and feelings through actions primarily. They focus on displaying and expressing things (show not tell perse). INFPs display their passions and feelings through words and meaning primarily. They like thoroughly discussing or thinking through the why, figuring out patterns and connections.

So with all that in mind and your own thoughts about yourself and your type, I'd say you're an ISFP. Feel free to ask more questions if you have any or if I missed something! Thank you so so much for the ask and I hope you have a wonderful day!

[stoicalkartoffelglerbistan]

Things I’ve done in my life

I had a weird political activism phase when I was 12 and 13 . I’m about to turn 16 and feel frustrated with what Im doing right now cos I had thought I would do great things and that 16 was the middle of the beginning but I never tried. I just lived in my head. But I guess I just wanted to list  cool things I’ve done .

1. I had a weird Youtube channel where I would post video essays stylised as voiceovers aka me rambling while it would record me playing Stardew valley and Minecraft and no one knew about it 

2. I started making and publishing music at 13 and it kinda sucks but Im glad its out there

3. I won a speech competition for a speech I wrote in 3 minutes the night before I had to present it

4. I learnt how to code to learn how to create a programme that would find the appropriate colours for my synaesthesic experience of Sit Next to Me by Foster the People , trying to understand what a CNN is.

5. When I was 8 I recorded dialogues between me and some characters I made that a lot of people liked and I cherish that. 

6. When I was 12 I had this science competition I could've won If I actually studied for it again but I remember being the only person who got into both series of contest’s finales so I like that too 

7. I read a lot of philosophy and had an entire blog dedicated to Spinoza on Medium  

8. I made a mini solar panel and Solar Parker Probe model , I soldered the line sensor and microcomputer chip by myself and recycled old medical supplies to make the model .

9. I did a Kabuki inspired screenplay with my mom 

9. I once tried to make my own instrument using hollowed wood and a vibration motor from my old electricity kit and a rusted nail . It was not tuned at all.

10. I’ve had 2 essay blogs and 1 photography blog that I’ve deleted and then republished. 

11. I dont really try to do stuff so I’ve had opportunities pass by and when I could've achieved something Id rather not cos its hard for me to start ( I may have ADHD ) , but I did experiments related to how to attract more bees to come to our neighbourhood using hive samples and im pretty proud of that and im trying  to present it at school

12. I did a mini album with a friend

13. I made my own language up and spent hours on syntax back in 2015. 

14. I wrote something called the Potato Manifesto that is canonically penned by an ancient electromagnetic spider sea slug made of monoclinic opal   called Karl Marx Kondratiev Taqi Ghalib

15. I broke two thermometers and took out the mercury and ‘cleaned’ it and in a heinz bean can and made 2 mercury based light bulbs. One for my dog to wear on her collar and another for my cat ( I disposed of them shortly thereafter)

16. I translated Repeat Stuff by Bo Burnham into Urdu as best as I could 

17. Once wandered off to explore with my dog at midnight to check out a wasp hive I wanted to noted down info on , my dog ran away  and chased her down in an alleyway which was illuminated by her mercury lightbulb ( rip lightbulb)

18. Got a microscope and now I sometimes work at a lab and collect stuff and process it there

19. Started a weird journey of self reflection and missed Tumblr so I’ve signed up with a new account cos the people are so cool here

20. Sold compost for a while and earned the US equivalent of 3 dollars. 

21. Did an environmental awareness thing once at school and people began helping me and this one girl stopped buying palm oil based stuff at the cafeteria with me . My aunt also became more eco friendly so thats really nice. 

22. Did an entire presentation on how the major plot hole in all of the Star Trek series is how the entire federation follows only human systems of practically everything  ( how do they have clicks in space ? does this mean they found the centre of the universe, why does everyone follow GMT?) 

23. Missed my old Tumblr days and came back with a new account  to check up on  bootydiaries ( this is objectively cool)

24. I made rugs by weaving 

24. once ran out of brushes for splattering so i used old leaves and petals and made art using my spinning Minecraft hammer and a pack of pasta and pepsi cans 

24. when I was 11 I did fungus art by growing spores using an old chemistry kit and tested it with a slightly younger kit 

24. made a Minecraft hammer with a kid’s electric kit DC motor, old styrofoam packaging and an old wooden stick that was a part of a hut ,

24. i used to storyboard as a kid and remember making animals on paper with my older sister and we sold the cards  

25. I saved a hawk

25. once wandered around on a trip  and met a shaman for less than 5 minutes but that was cool

25. Learnt Im still very privileged and need to do something about it

26 (۲۶). I cherish my cat and my plant and a tardigrade i once saw on the microscope  and a cute macrophage chasing  a pesky e.coli on the microscope  and hugs and mi dog

26 (۲۶). love thy parents 

26 (۲۶). love thy siblings 

26 (۲۶). love grumpy old people who care about u and teach u stuff

26 (۲۶). started to actually CHERISH my friends, cos they deserve all the love

26 (۲۶). for the first time i had a crush ( which i didn't think possible) on this guy at robocamp who was the only one taller than me ( i was mad about that) who used to call loud boys that interrupted girls presentations “toxic” and asked me about my interests and had the cutest eye crinkle. ( i was too nervous  to ask about  his contact but I hope to see him again, also never saw his face we wore masks throughout so that was weird )

27. I  had a neoplatonist phase

27. realised im not that special and its ok to do stuff at your own pace and be an amateur 

28. I dont know what to say so once again *hugs*

[mis-calculated]

I'm sorry i mean this in the most well intentioned, i want to support good credible people and stand up for people who have been wronged or marginalized by shitty people in power but i am honestly very frustrated and tired by the large issue of cancel culture from all sides.

And this isnt to say that people who are documented to be shitty shouldn't lose their position of power to others way more worthy. But theres a lot of moving parts to it that make it way more complicated than people have a tendency to paint it and I'm just so frustrated and hurt by a lot of people.

I don't understand why the fuck internet celebrities, particularly in the youtube gaming sphere can't just be decent people for once in their life. And this isnt even from someone who "stans" their favorite celebrities or anything. When I engage with youtube I legitamentally just watch content creators I enjoy and sometimes allow myself to get inspired through them. I don't really engage in fandom culture, I hardly ever even super find it important to meet them at a convention, I literally just watch videos about games I enjoy where the creators seem nice and intelligent and inspiring in some way and just think about them as cool people I wouldn't mind being friends with if circumstances were different. And even after appropriatly distancing myself like everyone on this website says to do, I still end up getting hurt because the average celebrity apparently cannot handle their fame going to their head in some way. I'm angry at creators for letting themselves sink to these levels.

I'm also frustrated at everyone on all sides' inability to fully grasp the weight of what their content means to people and how it affects them. Im angry at content creators for not realizing that through theyre platform they do have a bit of a responsibility to their fans and that even a fan that engages on a healthy level with a piece of creative work is likely to be moved by it in some way. Im also angry at people that continue to perpetrate the idea that if you feel some sort of genuine hurt and sorrow towards media with eventually problematic creators, that you are also problematic and a shitty person for not dropping it immediatly. I am not kidding when I say I don't know how I would have made it through middle and early high school without the Harry Potter series, and I'd be lying if i said that it wasn't one of the most impactful things I read to my creative endeavors, as well as still being a comfort universe for OC's I have purely for myself. Does that mean I support J K Rowling being absolutly shitty towards trans people recently? As a fellow trans person, absolutly not. The Game Grumps Wind Waker playthrough is a series I literally watch at this point as one of the few things that can calm me down when I'm having a panic attack. I think I've been watching their playthroughs since I was twelve years old and whether people like it or not, it has affected me in a profound way. Does this mean if the current allegations turn out to be glaringly true, or others continue to come out, that I am supportive of these disgusting behaviors? Absolutly not. But it still fucking hurts like hell.

Another layer to this has been the rising conversation in the classical music community about the unfortunate reality that much of our musical canon is from old white guys, some of which with deeply racist or classist views. And yes. I genuinly think its so terrible and unfortunate that the only music we have record of reflects pretty much one singular demographic of people, while everything else was pretty much lost to the unpublished masses. I also want to continue to dedicate some of my musical efforts to continuing to support female, lgbt, or poc in the classical music scene who are unfortunatly fighting against more of an uphill battle than I can fully comprehend due to my own privilages. Last week a kid in the year below me made a comment about how infuriated he was that the music history professor talked about Wagner in class without mentioning his gross antisemetic views, which i think is pretty justified anger. I think its really important in mentioning in these figurehead composers, especially people like Wagner who's platform was grown from his antisemitism, both their work but also their moral problems. However, they then said that we should stop learning about Wagner because of the shitty things that he's done. And I've heard that same sentiment echoed all the time in classical music recently. And again I believe this is a way more complex issue where I have to disagree. Whether we like it or not, Wagner's music is directly related to an entire school of thought in music from his time, and is also a major reason in the way opera music shifted and why our modern film music exists. You cannot just extract Wagner from the history and merely learning about him doesn't mean you are continuing to perpetuate the ideas that he believed in or supporting him and providing him a platform. I would argue that not learning about him at all and being uninformed is almost worse in a way because that also leaves room for atrocities to be swept under the rug and lost to time that shouldnt be. But there are people around me that strongly disagree and may view me in a certain light because of it. And im just so frustrated with it.

I've done a lot of growing in the last year and i genuinly do want to be a better, and more informed person every single day. I am so overtly aware of some of the privilages i have due to merely my race that others do not and I continue to examine and reexamine how that affects the views that I hold and this situations that I find myself in.

But I'm also just so fucking angry at the people who screw up like this in the first place and also everyone who perpetuates the idea that media is simply just media and if youre upset youre probably also problematic.

This is a rant and a half and i apologize and hope it makes atleast some sort of coherent sense. I generally dont share my views on stuff like this because Im aware of the ways it comes off. Im just so tired and upset about the things that were important to me in my life getting tainted or ruined by people being shitty but also feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it. Thanks for reading.

[kitty8roses]

This is what I sent to her lol (under a cut tho bc im not that mean)

DONT LOOK UNDER THIS CUT FOR GIVEN SPOILERS!!!!

Ritsuka quickly realizes that Mafuyu is an exceptionally talented singer, and invites him to join the band. Ritsuka learns that Mafuyu's guitar was previously owned by Yuuki, Mafuyu's childhood friend and boyfriend who died in an apparent suicide. The band begins composing music in advance of a live performance, but Mafuyu is unable to write lyrics for the song.

On the day of the performance, Mafuyu has a breakthrough and sings a powerful song about his feelings of loss over Yuuki. The song prompts Ritsuka to realize his romantic feelings for Mafuyu; he kisses him backstage, and they begin dating shortly thereafter.

The band names itself – "Given", in tribute to the guitar given to Mafuyu by Yuuki – and begin to develop a following after posting a video of their live performance online. Given qualifies for a major amateur music festival, and begin preparing new material. Their efforts are complicated when Akihiko, who Haruki secretly has romantic feelings for, becomes involved with his roommate and ex-boyfriend Ugetsu.

Ok so in the beginning of our show: our first protag mafuyu sato is seen walking to school In the rain (with an umbrella tho lol) he says, as narrator, “mafuyu is not lonely.” And also some other stuff that’s all vibe you know? So THIS is repeated through out the series with him saying that “mafuyu isn’t lonely” especially when something bad happens. The thing is he IS lonely. Why you may ask? Well, his ex boyfriend from middle school killed himself and he thinks it’s his fault and stuff. They had gotten into an argument and he drank himself to death. RIP yuki. The only time where I personally believe this statement of ‘not loneliness’ is true is after Uenoyama (other protagonist and love interest) kisses him. I think that’s very swagger. Right before sed kiss mafuyu sang a song that he wrote at a live performance with da band about his heartbreak with yuki’s death. The person he truly loved. It’s called fuyu no hashi and I recommend you give it a listen it’s really good. Uhm but uhhh he realizes after da kiss that he has a new love ❤️ Ue! Yay canon gay ship time let’s party owah owah

NOW I wanna talk abt the opening and op lyrics. They are SO GOOD. they explain Mafuyu’s situation so we’ll just *mwah*. I think it’s called kizuato. There’s this one part where the singer (which could be interpreted as mafuyu despite it not be8gn his voice) says “Rainy, sunny and cloudy

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. 365 days. You remain in all of them.” When he says the last line “you remain in all of them” we see mafuyu holding his guitar when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind like a hug. He shifts and kind of like compresses himself? Like you know what would happen if you got a hug. These arms are kinda transparent and they disappear before the line and that clip is over. AT FIRST before I knew about yuki and all that I thoguht they were from his late dad but now I believe the arms belong to yuki. Mafuyu’s dad was abusive and hit him when he spoke and I thoguht that would be the part of his trauma the show focused on but it wasn’t, instead they focused on yuki and his death more. Anyways I thoguht that was cool and representative of what happened pretty well.

Part of it also makes me wanna cry tho. It says “Dig them out. Take away these memories. The invisible voices that wouldn't reach. That Make me suffer/ suffocate me. Search deeper and take a look at this pain inside of me.” Specifically the “take away these memories” part just,, damn. And the invisible voices thing is just too fucking relatable. I’m so sorry Mafuyu

Oh god now I’m getting emotional about fictional boys who play guitar in front of my friends. Sorry guys.

Anyways. Main statement of the song time. “Everything you left behind, became my everything.” D a m n. Not only could he be talking about the guitar the he owns that is from Yuki he could also just be talking about the memories. ‘All the memories you left me, became the only thing that brought me comfort’ and that’s just... so sad man. He LOVED this boy. So much :/ It’s equally as sad with the guitar too. Because of how desperately he wanted to learn to play. For yuki’s sake because YUKI loved music. ‘This guitar you (kinda your mom but wtv lol) gave me, became my life” because it DOES become his life. When he finally accepts new love is after singing fuyu no hanashi. He finally lets go of all the pent up grievance and emotions while singing that song.

Now that point flows perfectly into our next one. It’s a possibility This will be the last one so just bear with me, please! So, one of Mafuyu’s main things is that he never knows how to respond or react the “proper” way. First of all!!!! NEURODIVERGENT KING. Second of all!!!! He talks about how he just doesn’t feel emotions as strongly or just the right way as other people. And how he can’t bring himself to cry and can’t cry despite losing his true love. After the kiss, mafuyu cries. A started clapping for him like yay!!! An icon ❤️ not only did he find a new love and move through some trauma but he also experienced a lot of emotions that he struggles to experience! That’s so good for him 💕💕But yeah he’d been talking about in the show how he just couldn’t “cry or laugh as hard as the other people could” which I can understand very well. It can feel dehumanizing at times so I’m really happy for him. One of the main reasons I kin him!

This brings me into a sort of continuation point about how no thought brain empty emotionless kin time. Sorry o just had to write that out Bc my nose started bleeding and I had to go take care of that and also not forget my clause (again). Mafuyu talks to Uenoyama about how everyone thinks that he doesn’t have emotions or doesn’t have thoughts because of how quiet he is and how emotionless he seems. And how he’s come to kind of believe it himself (a sort of ‘am I really thinking ever’ type beat). Ue kinda-over-aggressively is liek “hell no!!!! No way brain not have thought >:(“ like a old you know? And yes KIN TIME. not to make it about me or anything but I’m also constantly told/it’s joked about how I don’t have emotions. I just kinda roll with it tho.

I wanna say one more thing to end off on a note that isn’t about me but I can’t think of one so let me think. So much for that other one being the last shsndujsjjsidj

:OOOOO ok so I’m rewatching given and I just noticed another thing

So in the beginning, the VERY FIRST thing mafuyu talks about is how he keep shaving the same dream over and over again (this is to himself when he’s walking to school). Then, we see a clip of this dream. He is standing in front of someone (but it’s kinda shadowed so I didn’t see the other person the first time) and his eyes go wide and he grips his guitar so hard one of the strings snap.

Not only do I realize that 1) that dream actually happened: hs8 is a scene from when he fo7nd yuki’s body hanging (mafuyu was the one who found him dead). You can tell from the bottles on the ground (yuki got super drunk and then hung himself). this is why mafuyu’s guitar string is broken for Uenoyama to later fix.

I also realize 2) that this dream actually happened. I realized this when watching the show the first time tho lol. Right before the big concert, mafuyu accidentally breaks his guitar string again. And then Ue has to go run to the music store and buy a new one. That’s why there’s a look of desperation on his face when it happens because, Uenoyama brought his hope back by fixing the string the first time but now he messed it up again. Thank the lord for Haruki and reminding them it can be fixed!

Last thing 3) I talked about the hug scene in the last rant right? Well, when mafuyu broke the strings the first time (upon discovering yuki’s body), he mirrored the motions that he made in the hug scene in the opening. I think I described it as him shifting his body and guitar and like compressing himself? Yeah.

I realized one last minuscule thing while writing this but I doubt you care.

[jjungkookislife]

Hahaja i LOVE hearing about Army origin stories. Its so interesting to know how different everyones story is, it really shows how diverse both bts and army are. Striking so many lives all over the world in such a different way.

So my origin story was back in 2017 i watched the not today mv premiere with a friend who was an army and remembered thinking wow these guys dance cool and i thought the little rapper who started off looked good. But i wasn't really into them then just listened to them from time to time. Fast forward to 2019 march a few days after Yoongis birthday and i was visiting london with that same army friend, on the bus we kept talking about them and i suddenly got interested. So i went home and started looking for their videos on youtube and i came across their UN talk and their american interviews and thought hey the guy who speaks english seems pretty smart and cool. So for a few days Namjoon was my bias. Then i remembered my friend mentioning the rap line each have their own mixtapes and ive always liked artists who write and produce their own music, they're a rarity, especially in kpop, so i searched for them on youtube starting with Namjoons, i felt his songs were ok, though totally not what i expected a rap mixtape to sound like (in this case i was listening to mono)

Then i stumbled upon yoongis Agust D and remembered hey this is the cute quiet guy who started off Not Today. I remembered watching the lyric video of The Last and it really blew my mind. I could feel his pain from his lyrics, so loud and clearly, when he rapped about sleeping in the bathroom out of guilt and anxiety i could see it in my minds eye and in that moment i just wanted to make him happy, make all his dreams come true so he wouldn't have to feel that pain again, then the part when he said his mom told him during therapy that she feels like he doesn't know her own son and he answered even i dont know myself how can you know me? I felt that because at that time i was feeling really lost too.

Then i watched fancam of him performing First Love during the Wings Tour, the one with the blonde hair and the black sparkly jacket and i was floored. How could someone feel so strongly so passionately about their art? The part when his piano told him yes kid you can do it, i will never ever forget the awe and admiration he evoked in me in that one single performance. From then onwards lightning struck and i had eyes for Yoongi and Yoongi only and until now that remains the main reason yoongi inspires me so much. Because i want to feel that passion too, that undying love for my craft, it's really a gift to find your life's passion and be able to build a career around that.

Of course his cutthroat lyrics and out of this world stage charisma and off stage overall cute and soft personality solidified my love for him too. I guess it's fate that the first member i noticed is Yoongi and he ended up being my bias.

Hahah sorry for the long ass ask i was just so excited to read about everyone's origin stories and excited to share mine too =)

I've loved reading everyone's story, we may share a few factors but our stories are unique and i love that so much! yes the UN speech was mindblowing and it was really early on when i became a fan so i was just absorbing everything and i was like wow this isn't just kpop this is so much more. I'm glad we can see that side of Yoongi, and a lot of us can relate to his lyrics. like all their styles are different and just being drawn to them is amazing and being able to relate and be inspired by them. and then aside from being cutthroat he's also really sweet and soft and he has so much patience and ah i just love him so much! Thank you for sharing! There's no need to apologize for it being long, I enjoyed learning about you and you story!

his little lips !!!

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎