#i thought my shippy days were mostly over

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Insinuation 2.9 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

 I had been justified in everything I had said and done, right? 

Yes, Taylor, 112 fucking percent.

Maybe it was just because I wasn’t used to violence or raising my voice.

Yes, that's exactly it, now get back to asserting yourself. Even if it does mean leading yourself down the 'Warlord of Brockton Bay' career Path.

Alec grinned as I came back, but I couldn’t decide if it was because he was glad or if it was at my expense. 

Based on what I know of him from fic, probably mostly at your expense, at this point.

“Glad you came back,” Lisa told me, a bit of a smile on her face, “Alec, can you go get the first aid kit?  It might be in the storage closet.”

Lisa probably is. Didn't Taylor remind Lisa of her brother that committed suicide or something?

There was only one spot of real damage, a puncture where it looked like a fang had buried itself deep in the top of my forearm and then dragged an inch or so down towards my wrist as it made its exit.  The area around it was already turning colors with bruising.  I wasn’t sure how deep the puncture was, but I was pretty sure it should have been hurting more than it did.  The blood from the injury had trickled down my arm, and was still welling out.

I shudder to think how many injuries and scars Taylor will have by the end of this

“That was awesome, you know,” Alec told me, as he returned with the first aid kit, “I didn’t think you had it in you to kick someone’s ass.”  I glared at him, but he just sat on the back of the sofa, his legs kicking like an excited kid.

I'm not sure Taylor realized she had it in her, tbh.

Alec complained, “We all do, Brian made us all take a comprehensive class less than a week after we were gathered as a team.  Such a pain in the ass, believe me.  He’ll make you do it too.” “I already did,” I admitted, “One of the first things I did.”

Good old planning schemer Taylor.

Brian just looked at me and flashed that boyish smile again.  I looked away, embarrassed that a guy like him would get pleased like that on my account. 

On the other hand, for all the reasons that people consider Taylor into girls, she definitely does also seem to be pretty clearly into guys.

The other day someone, while making a shitty argument about what fanfic is, said something to the effect of 'brian wasn't shipped with Taylor' in Worm, which... I mean, yes, technically, because OG characters aren't 'shipped' by their own writers, but also like... I mean...

That's pretty fucking shippy text right there.

While Alec continued laughing, Brian got to his feet and ran up to the smaller boy, at which point he got Alec in a headlock and began punching him in the shoulder repeatedly.  This abuse only made Alec laugh harder in between his cries of pain.

Is Alec just a masochist, or what? :rofl: (More likely this is mostly just roughhousing, but w/e)

 “It’s a bit complicated to explain, but basically, Alec can get into people’s nervous systems.  This lets him fire off impulses that set off reflexes or make body parts jerk into motion.  It’s not a dramatic power, but with timing, he can make someone fall over midstep, drop something, lose their sense of balance or pull the trigger on a gun.”

Really, seems like the Undersiders' whole schtick is powers that don't seem flashy but can be overoptimized. That's super powerful, situationally.

Sitting a few feet away, Bitch muttered, “They aren’t freakish.”

Yes, you fucking psychopath, they absolutely are.

(Whether or not I will grow to like her later doesn't mean I like her now)

It was hard to think of Rachel by her real name.  Bitch seemed really fitting given the stunt she had pulled.  I apologized to Lisa, “Sorry.”

Right there with you. But honestly, I'm with the PRT. Hellhound works better. I would not be able to take myself seriously calling someone by the codename 'Bitch' all the time.

Lisa added, “It’s not just hearing.  It also cuts off radio signals and dampens the effects of radiation.”

Powers. Are. Bullshit.

It was like someone had taken a scalpel to reality and the blackness was what was there when everything else was gone.  

So.... Vantablack?

Vantablack.

(Also, that is quite evocative, and yet not descriptive at all, but damn if it doesn't make the point)

“Home, I guess,” I admitted, “My dad will wonder where I am.”

The only member of the Undersiders with a concerned parent.

“Taylor, if there’s anyone that’s making you make this call… the bullies or someone else, tell me everything is fine.  If you’re not in trouble, tell me your mother’s full name.”

And the prize for "Father trying his best to actually be a good dad for change" goes to...

(genuinely though, he is trying)

“Better than ever.  I kind of made some friends,” I said.

I wouldn't go that far yet. You haven't even committed any crimes together yet.

“They seem like good people,” I lied.

I mean, for a given value of 'good', it's not even a lie.

[lexa-ocean]

do u have any rolfe and earl headcanons?!?!?! NOT FORCING BTW!!!! U SAID U SHIP THEM I THINK….

I started drafting an answer and Tumblr didn't save it 😭😭 but yeah i do ship them!!!! They might be one of the ships i've into the longest lol. I even got my partner to ship em before we got together!!! (It's how I won her over lol/j)

Putting hcs under the cut!!

Ok so my biggest hc here not only re:this ship but also in general to the rockafire is that Earl is. Not actually a puppet lol??? But yeah my hc is that he's like. A monster type dude similar to Mr Munch basically ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like in general my hcs for the rockafire rely a bit on their world running on magical realism rules, where ppl see things that we'd think Odd as ordinary. Like random furry monsters just existing lol. But anyways. Continuing w that, Earl's Specific Brand Of Creature™ is just naturally tiny and light, ergo why Rolfe can just. Swing him around like that 😭 also as I mentioned in this fic, he's also very feline like and can purr, among other things!!! Going onto the shippy aspect, as i wrote on the afromentioned fic, Earl's purring is one sure fire way to calm Rolfe down if he's having a hard time 💖💖 the downsize tho is that Earl doesn't like doing it in public :/ so it's really a thing just for the two of them

(Eventually Earl becomes trusting enough to do it around the rest of the band, but everytime he realizes he's doing it he threatens them to not go around saying it. They all agree but tbf its like an open secret at this point 😭)

Anyways, all this to say Earl had a Whole life before meeting Rolfe. And i think they had a Very Funny meet 'cute' where Earl was like. A server at a comedy club Rolfe decided to do stand up at (i think its funny if Rolfe used to do stand up by himself and SUCKED at it) and Rolfe was so bad even Earl started heckling him while waiting tables and Rolfe was SO offended bc what does this lowlife server know about comedy??? So they started to trade barbs back and forth and everyone else in the club thought it was HILARIOUS and even some ppl started wondering if it was all part of some Really Funny Bit and they had agreed to do this beforehand but. No lmao they literally just Have Chemistry when it comes to comedy. Anyways eventually Rolfe's time ran out and he was thinking like 'oh great i wasted my whole time fighting with this rando i'm gonna get booed off again-' but nah fam he was cheered on bc the fight was HILARIOUS. Rolfe wondered wtf was up but when he noticed ppl praising a very confused Earl he wised up about it and asked him if he wanted to do an act together and. Earl said No. So Rolfe just began going to the club to BEG Earl to be on his act it was High Key Pathetic 😭 but Earl did eventually agree (mostly bc word spread out abt the funny 'comedian vs server' act and the club threatened to fire Earl if he didn't do it again :'D) so yeah they eventually began hanging out outside the club, at first just to keep working on their act but eventually they started liking each others company. Like they Don't Agree with each other in a BUNCH of stuff but they could Argue about it in a fun way and they both enjoyed it. And when they Did agree it was also fun like they could talk for HOURS.

Yeah the thing is, living together and being close as they were eventually their feelings wandered into a more Flirty spot and (without quite meaning to) they began putting into their act to the point everyone was like 🤨🏳️‍🌈❓️ at them. And the club owners turned out to be... pretty fucking homophobic!!! So one day they were just like 'we know what you are' and dead up fired them. Probably called them some slurs on their way out too 😭 and the funny thing is Rolfe and Earl hadn't even NOTICED they were being flirty with each other so they were SHOOKED and frankly very fucking pissed off. They just made it back into their apartment like

Another thing that def helped their bond it's that they were both deeply lonely people and had like No Friends??? So in my hc Rolfe had a pretty awful home life and grew up Very Isolated so yeah. His social skills consisted on acting like he was better than anyone else then being Shocked when that resulted in ppl finding him annoying. And Earl once again i have a Whole Headcanon but tl;dr is that he's from Argentina (like me hi i like projecting 👋) and back then thing's were... Not Great™ so he had to leave and rebuild his life somewhere else and it was HARD and he was also Grumpy about having to move in the first place so yeah 😬 suddenly tho they found each other and become Close Acquaintes, maybe even Friends??? Dare i say even Close Friends??? It got to the point that they decided to move in together to save up on rent and work more on their act and stuff. And they were Pretty Good at it too!!! Everything was going well... maybe too well...

Rolfe: Wow I can't believe we were fired and over fake accusations too???

Earl: Yeah i mean wtf are they on?? We're not dating???

Rolfe: Yeah I mean i am gay but not at you lol ur not my type??

Earl: Yeah same i think guys are hot but not you ur a geek

Rolfe: The club owners are CRAZY

Earl: Yeah lol imagine us dating??

Rolfe: Lol that would be weird

Earl: Heh... yeah...........

Earl:

Rolfe:

Earl: ...So u wanna make out-

Rolfe: YES

So yeah lol ironically they started having a Thing bc of that whole situation. Club owners created their worst enemy fr.

I do think they didn't sit down to discuss the Terms of their relationship until MUCH later, so they never really called each themselves boyfriends or anything. They just had an Unspoken Thing™ and they figured it out as they went.

Anyways, they stayed in that town for a while and began doing their act at different clubs (changing it as they went from 'server vs comedian' to 'audience member vs comedian' bc several clubs weren't willing to let Earl act as if he worked there) but the past club owners kept spreading rumors abt them so eventually no club in town would take them :/ so they decided 'actually fuck this town' and just. Got into a van to go around the country as a traveling act. And they did very well!!!! They def had their ups and downs but it was mostly positives. At one point they ended in a club that had a STRICT 'the comedians must stay only on stage' that they weren't told about until last second so they had to change their WHOLE act with a few minutes to spare.

Rolfe: Wait hold up i have an idea... ✨️puppet✨️

Earl: Fuck off i'm not pretending to be a puppet-

*smash cut to Earl on Rolfe's hand*

Earl: I hate you

Rolfe: Love you too ❤️

That act ended up being a MASSIVE success tho so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Earl had to learn to cope

But then one day they stopped at a Showbiz place and meet Wolfman (as mentioned in my fic, he's Rolfe's older brother who he lost contact with) and well. Rolfe and Wolfman had a pretty emotional encounter and Earl decided it was better if they stayed 'just for a while'. Before they knew it they were helping Wolfman's bestie (Fatz) on making a new band since the WP5 was breaking up and they had a whole STAGE for themselves and yknow what maybe they could stay for a while longer...

3 years and a shared house later: Wait shit. We're Attached now.

ANYWAYS this thing devolved into a whole origin story huh 😭 lemme drop some actual hcs here real quick

Rolfe is older than Earl by like 2 yrs (i usually write Rolfe as 37 and Earl as 35, for reference)

Rolfe is the most physically affectionate of the two, he has an habit of getting Affection Zommies™ (term coined by my girlfriend) and just. Picking up Earl to cuddle him or squeeze him or nuzzle him 🥹 and Earl just rolls with it like "oh i'm being pick up. Ok then." It's like the meme of 'came home drunk last night and got too happy to see my cat' yknow

They both smoke, but Rolfe smokes those v long and 'softer' ones while Earl smokes a heavier type (Earl probably smokes weed too on accasion). Anyways, point is, they 100% do that 'leaning really close to light up their cig with the one their partner is smoking' thing like. ALL THE TIME. And everyone thinks they're being romantic but in reality they started doing it to make their lighters last longer 😭

They lowkey have a ratatouille style system to cooking?? Like Rolfe is ok at cooking but NEEDS the recipe. On the flipside Earl has a hard time cooking bc of his side but he just Gets cooking like he can eyeball and improv things and ends up with fantastic stuff. So what they usually do is Rolfe cooks while Earl watches him and gives him indications. And yes, their system works

They're both v good with children!!! And actually like them!!! It wasn't a huge sacrifice for them to change their act to make it more kid friendly. They're also not bad babysitters.

Rolfe loves sewing and clothing design and the like. It can be hard to find stuff Earl's size, so he'll sometimes make him clothes

(Half the time is stuff not really Earl's style but is the thought that counts?)

Rolfe LOVES Earl's voice he thinks he's the best singer in the band and is constantly trying to get him more songs. Earl himself doesn't think he's that good, but he does like to sing and has fun w it so he's also not complaining.

Even tho they usually write their skits beforehand, they're also p good at improv if things go wrong. For ex. the Frank Sinatra skit was meant to have a different ending where the song went without an hitch, but then Technical Difficulties happened and they had to run with it

Earl wont admit it but he genuinaly likes how soft and fluffy Rolfe is.... world hard and cold, fur soft and warm ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

On that note, Earl has an habit of kneading on Rolfe without meaning to (cat-like creature babeeeeyyy). Rolfe feels flattered every time it happens so he doesn't say anything, even if he might ocasionally get Poked at by claws (yes Earl has retractile claws)

I said this earlier, but Rolfe's parents are pretty garbage. They keep sending Rolfe letters trying to guilt him into taking care of them (send them money), and they can cause Rolfe to spiral. Earl's solution is to check for them constantly and shred them whenever he sees them. He just takes his claws to them and goes wild

If Earl ever meets Rolfe's parents, heads will roll

They're both also very aware of each other's issues/trauma, since they were all they had for a while they ended up accidentally trauma dumping on each other early on.

Yknow that one trope where the tall partner lets stuff in high shelves so the short one has to ask them for help? Yeah Rolfe's the complete opposite. He tries makes sure everything is accesible to Earl, esp if it's stuff he uses constantly

They're both pretty early risers, with the difference Rolfe also has an habit of staying up late. As a result, Rolfe is usually a zombie in the mornings before he gets his caffeine dose. Earl ends up trying to make sure he doesn't get himself hurt by running into walls or smthn

Yeah i think that's all i have rn!!! I've actually been at this for a few hours.... lol....

As an extra, here!!! I made a playlist for them a while ago!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmHPhhJWNKI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNaHpezFjng

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Djn8yRscS8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybhNZqEnkYQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX8JmX-PJ8k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EemlA7ICn6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LViL6-nt3wQ

(Yeah i know most of these are in spanish, sorry they just Fit)

Thanks for the ask!!! 💖

[burntheupholstery]

bestie tell me about your fave Naruto ships and how they’ve changed over the years!!

emi!!! darling, i thought so long and hard about this, and i am now forced to conclude that my inability to be normal about Naruto ships is terminal, sorry. one day it will kill me.

i am incapable of being normal about these 2d people. nowadays i either put them in QPRs - QPR ftw! - or they're single, bereaved, and grieving.

long and rambly thoughts under the cut, but here's the tl;dr: my shippy focus used to be solely m|m, but then i learned about QPRs and now that's everything and everyone. there usually isn't sex involved (there used to be) because i personally amn't interested, but probably it happens off-screen. i think almost exclusively in KakaObiRin and the Sannin, and apart from those two units i mostly mix up characters with OCs - Konan/F!OC, Terumi/F!OC, etc., or explore grief and living through disaster by writing character studies.

of course, nobody is straight. :)))

i used to ship the cast monogamously! my preferences were KakaYama, JiraOro, and time-travel!NaruKaka. ...that last one still appeals to me. the tragedy of time! the despair of fate! the struggle against predestination! tall, blond, and haunted? hello. and then a while later i was into NaruGaa, NejiHina, and HashiTobi (yeah, as in the senju founders). to some extent i still ship the last one, because the connecting factor of all these ships was unconditional devotion through life's vicissitudes. but you can already see the hints of QPR and the patterns of being left behind.

and then i went to college and got depressed from the pandemic and i read a lot of Big Books about the tragedies and joys of the Human Condition (and i kept reading them, they're good, happy to share recs!) and i stopped being able to isolate these sad little ink figures to just one other point of connection. it's like that adage about leading a healthy life: your romantic partner can't be your everything - it's unfair both parties. friendships outside of romantic monogamy is good and healthy! and i applied that theory to fic and realized one partner cannot possibly soothe and contain all that fictional trauma. so. QPR it is.

i've never felt drawn to the canon version of KakaObi- to me, their magnetism comes from their entanglements with others and the world: Minato, Rin, their clan legacies or lackthereof, and war and love and hate and grief. Yamato was too flat for me to build on, so i kicked him and put Kakashi with Obito and Rin and now the plot bunnies never cease.

Then there's JiraOro, the unpleasant offshoot of my BL-obsessed days. the hurt!! the betrayal!! i realized with glee i can have all that and more if i hooked Tsunade into the mix - after all, Jiraiya isn't the most reliable moral crutch and compass in the world, and his lascivious ego needs to be taken down a peg or five, none of which Orochimaru is inclined to do. we also never got to see Orochi and Tsuna get along on screen, and i just know in my heart of hearts they are the world's most gossipy mad science best friends. together they keep each other grounded. together they can be their best and worse selves. apart, the fallout is spectacular. probably the sex is specular too, but i don't really care about that.

and that's it for the active ships i still rotate in my head, really. hashirama is a can of worms i regretted opening, because that man is stuffed so full of idealism he's gone sour. if anything, it's the people he left behind that i'm interested in now: mito, tobirama, his kids, tsunade. the isolation, the devastation, the rage at being left behind. the crushing weight of expectation, the looming spectre of war. heady stuff!!

finally we come to Obito. ah... Obito. what isn't wrong with you. what hasn't the world done to you. in his canon state he is non-functioning, inoperable. every time i pick him up i give him a good hard shake to get rid of all that canon taint, and then i plop him in interesting AUs where he confronts his problems head on. namely: Rin. i love Rin.

surprising everyone, i actually don't have a lot of complaints about the Ōotsutsuki as characters - i used to hate their existence, but the sci-fi fan in me reared its head insistently so now i have a bunch of plot bunnies about them. i don't ship them, tho. they seem almost too alien for human connections...

you'll notice i've conspicuously left out discussion of the Konoha 11. this is because while i love them with all my heart i've lost touch with their characterization... and Boruto's existence is just so disheartening that I prefer to play in my own sand-box.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ !!!

[dreamblasterharuka]

If you’re still taking requests:

Would love a piece about Trigger and Count (non shippy, just friends), maybe after barely making it back from a risky mission in one piece. Or if you have any other ideas for other lil soft moments of them being besties and idiots, I’ll take anything. Their relationship and how they slowly started having each other’s backs is everything to me

Snapshots from Trigger and Count’s growing friendship.

I like getting to write these two and their funky dynamic. Thank you for the request!

Also on AO3

Moments

Annoying. That’s all Trigger thought of Count at first.

When they’d been told they were getting sent to a penal unit, they expected a bunch of gruff, scary guys that didn’t want some scrawny newbie, and they’d be struggling to be taken seriously. Instead, they were mostly pretty nice. Granted, they got a chance to prove themself immediately, but it was still a pleasant surprise.

The only one who really fit that bill was Count, the self-proclaimed leader of Spare Squadron. From what Trigger gathered, he was a fraudster and a coward, who disliked them because they blew his (inflated) records out of the water. Add them taking over as leader out of sheer desperation, every interaction was making it very clear he hated their guts. He kept making snide comments and leaving them to clean up his messes.

The most annoying part was that Count had talent. They could see it clearly in the maneuvers he pulled, and the tricks he pulled on enemy pilots. They watched him talk violent criminals out of fights, and talk the tough-as-nails Bandog into letting them use supply lines. He easily could be squadron leader, if he weren’t such an asshole.

It was a mask. A smooth, unbreakable mask of a perfectly unaffected con man. They probably should have guessed. Everyone wore one to deal with all the trauma, but it wasn’t like they were close enough to know, and Count kept it up perfectly. Except for one time.

When Bandog used Count to murder Full Band. They didn’t use that word lightly, either. No matter if Full Band really found something top secret or not, to just have him killed like that, by one of his comrades without any warning or trial was just…

Prisoners were disposable. According to the law, they didn’t have basic human rights. No one cared about what they did to deserve it, as long as they had warm bodies to throw at a conflict. Did Full Band’s family even know that he’d passed yet? Did Champ’s? High Roller’s? All the others left to die so Osea could secure a fancy energy source?

Trigger hadn’t intended to talk to him. He disappeared right after the debriefing and they were pretty sure he didn’t want to be found. So it was just their luck when they stumbled across him around the back of one of the hangars, smoking and staring off into space. Before they could back away, Count stared them dead in the eye, pure, clean, anger written all over his face.

“What do you want?”

Trigger threw their hands up in surrender. They didn’t want anything, but that only seemed to make it worse.

“What, you here to gloat? Tell me I should’ve paid more attention? It’s not like it was my fault! There’s nothing I could’ve done about it!”

The quiet after his outburst was deafening. They could barely make out voices in the distance, but not what they were saying. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine them talking about the day’s operation.

Ah. Trigger understood. They understood the feeling exactly. It wasn’t their fault, but that didn’t change anything. They’re still the one who fired the shot, bad information or not, and they would have to live with the blood on their hands. It didn’t matter what they said in their defense, they could still hear the condemning whispers. There would be no trial, and no way to prove innocence.

Back then, they didn’t want pity, or empty reassurances. They only wanted to hear one thing.

“I believe you.”

Count broke eye contact and looked ahead again, but he didn’t say anything in response. After another still moment, Trigger turned on their heel and absconded. Who knew if their words helped him. For all they knew, they just made it worse.

It wasn’t until Bulgurdarest, stuck in a briefing room, waiting around for some kind of plan, that Trigger realized that Count stopped calling them murderer.

*******

The Hair Incident wasn’t really a distinct incident like the name implied. Mostly it was just a passive-aggressive back and forth about the length of Count’s hair.

Trigger, despite what the others seemed to think, tried their best to stay out of it. Count’s hair was well out of regulation, but Wiseman was getting on his case more than necessary. When Trigger cut their own back to what it was before they were arrested. Count took it as betrayal, and Wiseman was disappointed they weren’t being more of an example. It didn’t really have to do with anything. They just cut it in an attempt to return to normalcy. Of course it didn’t work, but it made them feel a little better.

The whole thing boiled down to pride, not that anybody wanted to admit it. While Trigger could see where Count was coming from, they dealt with McKinsey’s power tripping bullshit too, afterall, he was kinda being an ass about it. Wiseman wasn’t anything like McKinsey. He was just trying to maintain order in a situation where lack of discipline could be deadly. Honestly, they probably should’ve stepped in and said something, but they didn’t trust themself not to put their foot in their mouth and make everything worse.

All of it came to a head the night before a mission when Wiseman threatened to ground him if he didn’t deal with it. It wasn’t done in front of the squad, but Trigger heard all about it when Count came grumbling into their room to sulk. 

His complaining did raise a question. “Why don’t you just tie it back? Huxian has long hair, but she doesn’t get in trouble.”

“Yeah, well, Huxian’s a girl. She’s allowed to.”

“So why can’t you? As long as your hair stays out of your face, you should be good, right?” 

They didn’t say it as a solution, only an observation, but Count’s brows furrowed.“Do you still have your rulebook?”

“No.” All soldiers had one when they joined, but Trigger looked at their’s once and forgot all about it. 

After an evening of pouring over a rulebook they borrowed from Fencer and a run to the convenience store for some elastic hair ties, Count arrived bright and early to the airfield, hair pulled back in a short ponytail. Wiseman looked like he was going to say something, but Trigger pointed out that there was nothing in the rulebook saying he couldn’t.

Wiseman just shook his head and let him join the mission. Count sent Trigger a satisfied smirk that hopefully only they saw, lest all that work went to waste.

*******

Trigger felt like they were going to hurl and they hadn’t even touched their drink. 

They had never been a drinker. Alcohol tasted gross and they dealt with enough drunk people that any of the appeal of it faded pretty quickly. Nobody wanted them to drink with them, so there was no social aspect to it.

So why did they agree to go to the bar? Well, they didn’t really.

Longcaster, true to his word, took them all to a nice restaurant to celebrate their victory at Stonehenge. It was a good excuse to talk to their squadmates in a relaxed setting, and the food was pretty tasty. The evening was starting to wind down, and Trigger was planning to go back to base and get some sleep after the hectic day they had. Maybe fate would smile on them, and they could sleep in a little.

Unfortunately for their peaceful evening, that’s when Count and Huxian started trash-talking about how much they could drink. Then they decided that a restaurant wasn’t enough celebration for them, and that a bar crawl was in order. For reasons Trigger couldn’t wrap their head around, Count threw out an offer to join.

Bar hopping didn’t seem like it would be their thing, but again, no one had ever invited them to go, and they were eager to hang out with their friends. So with an order from Wiseman to keep the other two alive, they swallowed their trepidation and went along. 

As it turned out, it really wasn’t their thing. Bars were loud, social environments, so they were already way out of their depth. Not helped by the fact that a lot more people were celebrating the day’s victory, so it was pretty packed. Other soldiers and pilots noticed their patches and kept coming up and offering to buy their drinks. A brave few even tried to get their numbers. It was incredibly odd to get called a monster and cute in the same sentence.

Count and Huxian dealt with the attention like absolute masters, talking to complete strangers like they had known them for years. Or maybe it was one of those ‘human’ things that Trigger never seemed to get. Earlier that night, they all sang to a lady, just like the scene in that one movie. If it was them, they would have died on the spot, but everyone just laughed. Like it was no big deal at all. 

They took a sip of their neon pink drink. It tasted like artificial cherry and straight sugar. They always felt like that, it just got worse whenever they were in big groups like this. Where there was supposed to be a connection to the camaraderie, was just empty. Like an empty wire socket.

Someone bumped their elbow into their shoulder hard enough to knock them out of their thoughts. Count watched them, searching for some kind of reaction. “You good?”

Trigger shrugged. They’d live.

“Wiseman was joking, y’know. You don’t actually have to stay and babysit.”

“I know.”

“So what’s the problem?”

They gestured to the group and tried to find the words. “I’m not very good at all this. But you invited me, and I wanted to hang out because we’re friends.”

Wait. Were they friends? Trigger thought of Count as a friend, but did he think the same? “Unless you don’t want to be. Sorry. Maybe I should just-”

Count heaved a heavy sigh, but they could just barely see the smile in his eyes. “You really are bad at this. Look, follow my lead, and we’ll have you talking like a normal person in no time.”

It was a long evening of trial and error, but Trigger found themself to slowly start enjoying the evening. Maybe this could be their thing.

*******

Trigger was the last to land, which was normally just how they liked it. Unfortunately, this time it meant a few more minutes before they could check in on their teammates.

Trust was a wonky thing, as they were quickly finding out. On one hand, they knew their squadmates could handle themselves, and take on anything thrown at them. On the other hand, the anxiety of just seeing them in tough situations made Trigger want to claw out of their own skin. Better yet, they were going to rip Clemons’ off. Would serve him right for all the shit he pulled.

Most of their squad was waiting for them when they landed. Some were more banged up than others, but from their understanding, everyone was fine. At worst, they’d have to go through another checkup before being cleared for take off. Huxian was visibly bandaged, but they were pretty sure there was no way they were going to talk her down.

Count was the first to notice and greet them, still also in his flight suit. He hadn’t gotten too hurt, but he had yet to be seen by a doctor. Even so, Trigger was just relieved to see him alive and well after the attempted assassination. It had been extremely touch-and-go for a minute, but Count’s plan got them out of it.

His plan was simple, but its effectiveness was clear. Just switch over to another radio frequency. Trigger would’ve never thought of it that quickly, and it reminded them how thankful they were to have him as a wingman. They would even go so far as to call it cool. Unfortunately, that coolness was barely eclipsed by the acidic worry of watching him use himself as bait. It was that same simultaneous confidence of knowing he could handle it, and the stress of watching him take on the sibling mercenaries mostly by himself.

“Don’t do that again. That was really, really cool, but please don’t do that again.”

Count just laughed, the kind of laugh one gave after hearing good news after a long day of bad luck. Trigger couldn’t help but join in. They chuckled under their breath until someone loudly cleared their throats behind them.

The interrupter was a naval officer. One of Clemons’ men. They could tell by a uniform too neat to have seen any actual work. Perfect. That meant the Brigadier General was still there. After all the stuff he’d put them through, they were ready to get their hands on his throat. Putting their friends in harm’s way was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now that they had him on record for committing treason he would definitely be put away. And if not, well…

They’d been to prison for murder before and they’d done just fine. 

The officer seemed to sense their intent and quickly stammered out that the debriefing was starting soon before practically running away. Count seemed to sense it too, since he grabbed the back of their jumpsuit, rooting them firmly in place. He shook his head at them. There would be no murder. For now.

*******

Deep, dark blue. As far as the eye could see.

It was over. They won. The drones were gone for good, and now they knew why Harling turned back that day. He was willing to die to safeguard the future. Trigger was free, both legally and conscientiously. Well, as free as one bound by gravity could be.

Part of them wanted to keep going, to touch the stars, to run their fingers across the thin veil that separated them from the heavens until they could rip it down. Maybe they would get to say goodbye to all the friends they lost too suddenly. Maybe they would join them. If they got high enough, maybe their debris would never come back down, and they’d stay among the destroyed satellites.

Still, they could hear their squadmates’ radio chatter. People were waiting for them down below, so a cold death in the upper atmosphere would have to wait. There would only be one chance to do this, so they might as well do it with style. They flipped into a dive. They went straight down, taking on as many Gs as they could before they had to level out. 

Landing was remarkably mundane after what had happened. Due to the odd logistics of the operation, everyone had to land at a different location, but they were assured all their friends were fine and headed to solid land. Since they were the hero, they got to ride in the fancy helicopter.

The crowd around the landing pad was worse than any other event they’d been through by a long shot. If they weren’t so exhausted, they’d probably be on the brink of a panic attack by now. Strangers shoved into their personal space to pat them on the back or shake their hand. As soon as Trigger saw Jeager, they stuck as close as possible in hopes that the people would back off a little. Like a person umbrella. Or maybe a meatshield.

Count was the last to arrive, since he had to taxi the entire way out of the tunnel. Trigger owed him a drink for that. They owed him a lot of drinks for all the stuff he’d done for them, both in the skies and on the ground. But taking that hit and landing in such a small area was particularly impressive.

They barely caught a glimpse of blond through the throngs of people. The man was about the right height, and had the right hair, but they couldn’t be sure. Trigger had an idea, one that was way scarier than fighting drones. For the first time in years, first time in memory at least, they puffed out their chest and yelled. 

“YOU ASSHOLE! I told you to stop doing that!”

Several around them jumped, though they had no idea whether it was from the sudden loudness or the fact that they could get that loud at all. It caught Count’s attention, and thank goodness it really was him, or else Trigger would have walked straight into the ocean. He was smiling, laughing even, while they continued to yell at him and tried to push their way through the crowd.

When they met in the middle, Count gave them a one-armed hug. Trigger was going to keep scolding him for taking a hit for them again, but was shut up when he used his free hand to give them a noogie. 

“You did good, kid.”

“Who’re you calling kid?”

They tried their best to duck away from him, but now he had them in a headlock. Lots of people were watching, but in this moment, they didn’t care. Their friends were safe, and that was all that mattered to them.

[mathmusic8]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @musewrangler!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17

2. What's your total AO3 word count?  395,117

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Aside from random one-shots, mostly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Wars, but I have some Lego Monkie Kid things coming up :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lost and Found – Fives and Kix (Star Wars)

Only Partially Applied (Star Wars)

Wow, What a Coincidence (TMNT)

WWAC Extras (TMNT)

Ice Cream Makes Everything Better (TMNT)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I have a small pile I’m meaning to get to tho haha

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At the moment, probably Only Partially Applied, mostly because it’s an angsty fic and I don’t know if I’ll come back to finish it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably a tie between Lost and Found and WWAC. If I had to choose I’d say Lost and Found, being a Star Wars fix-it/happiness AU and all. WWAC had more of a build-up to the happy ending, though, while Lost and Found it was kind of fun last-second twist

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have a few crossover once-shots, plus WWAC if you count multiple iterations of tmnt as crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Don’t think so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? Not a fan fic, at least—I collaborated with friends for some original fics when we were kids. Lately I’ll talk through ideas and have a couple of shared AUs with a few select people, but those haven’t been fully written or shared yet.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I’m not a super shippy person. Some ships are done well, but it’s not generally what I look for when I’m reading or writing. The last shippy stuff I read and liked was Zelda and Link (Twilight Princess, Breath of the Wild, and Tears of the Kingdom), but I’m not a die-hard on any of them.

For example, probably my favorite romcom fic I’ve ever read was TP Link and Zelda, but I’d love to see TP Link with Ilia in a healthy relationship that doesn’t end in tragedy (not sure why the fandom keeps doing that to them). I haven’t found a fic like that yet, though, and I don’t care enough to write my own.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ahhh Only Partially Applied my poor child. You deserved better. Also the Lost and Found sequel. There wasn’t a ton of plot, but I had a few concepts I’d hoped to put out there (like a little Omega/Cal Kestis action).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Convoluted plots. Also maintaining a character’s individual voice and motivations. I want to say dialog, but it really depends on the day for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition. Filler scenes and stuff that helps a fic feel more like a full and complete story when it’s done right. Some of my favorite fics to read are slowburns that do this extremely well, but I tend to get impatient and rush things when I write.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I used to be all over it when I was a kid, but after seeing it from others, I realized it’s not my favorite thing to read unless it’s handled a certain way, like including certain words for multi-lingual characters to add to realism, or entire sentences to show that the main character (and audience) aren’t expected to recognize what a certain character is saying. Things like that. As a writer I personally avoid it now.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3? Undertale. First ever? My Little Pony, I guess? I hadn’t even seen the show, just played with the toys and started writing stories about them, if that counts.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooo probably Lost and Found. It was my first long fic, and written in a frenzy of inspiration without a super firm plan beforehand. I was super burned out by the end, but it was a ton of fun and I gained a lot of friends along the way.

Have to give WWAC a shoutout, though. It was longer, actually planned out, and had a Dracula-Daily style posting schedule that made last-minute chapters super rushed, but it was an absolute joy to write, and I hope to continue the story a bit further.

If you read this far, consider yourself tagged!

[cellsshapedlikestars]

What fandoms/pairings did you get into before Jonsa? Or the first work/story that made you discover fanfic?

Just randomly sharing, broke my phone other day and looking for my downloaded fanfics made me look even further back.

😭 Final Fantasy VIII rpg game was 25 years ago and beloved fanfics of it published 20 years ago (still there in internet).

Also realized my love for broody, sulky male protagonists with angry chip in their shoulders and female characters that receive hate just bc they’re “princess”-y, “damsel-in-distress” not-the-strongest type was there too. (Prob started it.)

(we def share a ship preference for broody/princess lol)

It's been so long, I can't remember how I found fanfic. Probably in my Sailor Moon phase (elementary school-ish) because I absolutely wrote Sailor Moon fanfic. (I never posted it online or showed anyone, though. I can distinctly remember writing a Sailor Pluto fic where she's still alive after all the other sailors are killed, and she just stands there as the keeper of time waiting sad and alone for millennia for them to be reincarnated. Really fun and chill story, 12 year old me!) I can't remember any fics specifically that I read, though there was this website that used to MST3K "bad" Sailor Moon fanfics, and I remember reading a lot of those. I didn't ship anyone in Sailor Moon.

If you want to know about any prior ships/fics I wrote, below the cut!

Considering how much media I have consumed over the years, I don't tend to ship very hard. I tend to go with what the piece of media tells me the ships are tbh. Jonsa is the first that wasn't canon.

InuYasha

The first fandom I had a ship for, and the first fandom I actively remember reading fic for. I was big into Miroku/Sango. Never wrote anything for that, though.

Harry Potter

I did vaguely ship Harry/Ginny while the books were coming out, and even wrote a few chapters of an alternate book 2. That was on ff.net and is probably purged at this point. I could not tell you what my username or the fic title were lol.

Later, I dipped my toe into the Marauders/Jily fandom, but never went all out, because by that time, I'd become disillusioned with Harry Potter. Every once in a while, I'll go read a Jily fic.

Buffy

While this is my favorite show, I didn't ship too much. I kinda shipped Buffy/Spike (have thoughts on it now) and also Angel/Cordelia. I never read nor wrote fic for either of these pairings.

Veronica Mars

Veronica/Logan. Read some fic, never wrote anything.

Skins

I wrote a one shot for Sid/Cassie. Posted on my old livejournal and now re-posted to an alternate ao3 account. I don't hate it. I'd probably change some things if I were writing it now, but I think it's pretty solid.

(No, I just re-read it and it's very solid. Kinda proud of this one)

Glee

I am SO embarrassed to say this, but I wrote a Rachel/Puck one-shot after the episode where they decide to date because they're both hot and Jewish. It wasn't a super shippy fic and mostly centered around him telling Rachel Quinn's baby was his. I stopped watching Glee after the first season lol and did not repost that fic from my livejournal to ao3. It can die on livejournal.

Elite

Carla/Samuel!! LOVE me some poor boy/rich girl dynamics. I got really into them and even read some fic, though there wasn't much out there. Never wrote anything. Have debated writing a Jonsa Elite AU

The Other Fandom

Now. I have hinted in the past that I used to be in another fandom that I wrote fic for.

Oh, the OC. You held my heart for so many years (well. 2 years). I wrote so much fic for you (mostly in the first year, kinda fell off and did more experimental stuff in the second).

That fandom was the O.C.

I'm kind of afraid to say the pairing, because there's only 1215 OC fics total on ao3, and for my pairing is not one of the popular ones, and I wrote about a quarter of those, so I feel like you could find my alt account pretty easily...

I dunno. I'm a little embarrassed about some of the fic I wrote back then. Some of it is SO unnecessarily dramatic (AND IN FIRST PERSON. I HATE FIRST PERSON POV!!). I also wrote a wild amount of smut for someone who didn't really know what the fuck she was talking about lmaooo. I've spoken a lot about how skittish I am about writing smut now, but as a teenager I was cranking that shit out. (ok I actually just looked and it's only 5 explicit fics, but still. That's about 1/5 of the fics I wrote)

I'm probably making too much out of it, because there are some fics I'm proud of, but enough that I'm embarrassed by that I have yet to be able to publicly say what my apt account is

[departednightmare]

Picture this:

You've just joined a new fandom. You spent your last few days finishing the source material while struggling to resist the urge to go read fanfic about your favourite pairing. That's now over, and you can bathe in the ocean of shippy fanfic without fear of spoilers!

And you know it'll be an ocean; you checked AO3 and FFN a few days ago to see how much fanfic the series has. It's a five-figure number on both sites, and obviously at least half of that will be your favourite pairing, because it's so cute! How could anyone resist it?

The day has come. You filter for the tag on AO3. 1,200 fics.

Well, that's not so bad, right? It's still a lot of fic compared to your last favourite! So you start looking.

You've gone through the entire first page. Every fic was:

A) a smut one-shot

B) a smut one-shot where the characters have a threesome (or more) with other characters who don't do anything for you

C) a collection of smut one-shots from about 80 different fandoms.

D) a story where the protag just happens to fuck their shipped partner once in chapter 80 and then the partner is relegated to the background again.

E) a "love-triangle" story where the protag can't choose between your fav and the fandom's fav. Both are lusting for her. Both possess only their best or worst traits (spoiler: your fav is the asshole in this fic's universe). Everyone in the fic wants protag to get with fandom fav -- and she does. Your fav faces some kind of cruel punishment for daring to lust after someone above his station.

F) a story about someone else. The pairing (or even just the characters) is mentioned once in the background and the author is a dick who tags ships you don't actually see in the fic.

G) a tale where protag leaves your fav for the fandom fav (again with the gross oversimplification of LI personalities; your fav is some kind of pervert or rapist here).

H) about the actual ship and isn't smut (mostly), but the author has forgotten to give the characters personality beyond "owo dat person sexy must kissy wissy".

I) it's about the ship, but the author has a boner for the wrong character and you don't get to read about the hotness of the one you totally don't have a crush on.

J) in Russian. You do not understand Russian.

K) some good fucking fic (in a language you understand).

L) PLOT TWIST: the good fucking fic was abandoned three years ago right when things were getting interesting and now you're sitting there all frustrated.

Anyway, that was my experience with Inquisitor/Blackwall two years ago. Every time I'm starved for good Blackwall content, I find myself reminded of this experience.

So I thought I'd remind others of their own unfortunate fanfic memories because I'm mean. Merry Friday! :)

[silverdragon-imagines-blog]

Silver darling dearest this is me officially asking/begging you to let Sky and Warriors gang up on the others and tease the everloving daylights out of them in knighthood solidarity and bonding over both of them being total bisexual disasters. If you wanted to. Or you could rant about them. I would love to hear your thoughts. <3

[Your wish is my command ^u^ Let’s take it from the top! This took a lot longer than I thought it would and it’s over 3k?! I’m not even sure how that happened, but enjoy ^u^]

Here’s the first one

Warning(s): This is shippy and mostly fluffy. That’s about it. The ships are Mavioli plus Ralph, ShadLink, Sidlink and past Revalink and Miphlink, Four x Shadow, and then Time x Malon. But there are several other crushes mentioned and also polyamory.

They had stayed in the village for a day or so, and the thought of embarrassing their fellow heroes over who they liked was still lingering in the backs of Sky and Warriors’ minds. It was tempting to just spring the question on one of the others, but as fun as that would be, they would only want to do it with just the two of them and their potential victim.

Legend just so happened to be all by himself at camp, settled under a tree with a scrap of paper in his lap. Perfect.

“Hey dumbass, what are you doing?”

“None of your business dipshit. Now, what do you want?”

“Funny you should ask my little pink friend,” Warriors smirked, sitting next to the Veteran hero and getting as close as possible, “Who are you writing to? Someone at home missing their salty snarky hero?”

“Oh, fuck off,” he replied, shoving the Captain away.

“No, come on, I’m curious. Who has captured the heart of our resident grump?”

He heard mumbling, too quiet to properly decipher, but it had to have been a confession. Sky approached then, a soft yet mischievous smile on his face.

“Someone has to have caught your interest, yes? Is it, perhaps, the one that we saw the last time we visited your home?”

Legend’s face erupted in a blush, but he kept his eyes on his paper, not looking at either hero. Warriors smiled.

“Was the guess correct then?”

“Fine you assholes! Yes, Ravio is my partner! Happy?”

He pouted, and it was adorable, but Sky had a feeling there was more to the story.

“You sound truthful, but I believe I see more than just one letter in your hand. Care to share who the rest are for?”

Legend buried his face in his hands, curses flying from under his breath. Warriors was laughing at the response, Sky joining him and sitting on the other side of the flustered veteran, jostling him slightly.

“Both of you are terrible,” he sighed, but spread out the four papers he had been writing on.

One of them had already been finished, Zelda’s name at the very top. The second had only been partially written and addressed to someone named Ralph. The last two were still blank, but Warriors snatched them anyway much to Legend’s annoyance.

“Give those back you dick!”

“Maybe if you tell us who your partners are, it’s obvious by the number of letters that you have more than one. So, who is this Ralph fellow?”

Legend groaned, leaning back and staring up at the clouds with an annoyed face.

“He’s someone I met on my adventures that just so happened to catch my interest, okay? He’s a big jerk, but he’s enjoyable to be around.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Warriors eyed Sky, smirking.

The hero rolled his eyes in response.

“What about the other two? I know Fable is your sister, but the other two are still blank.”

Legend covered his face with a silent scream, the two tormentors laughing at his expense. Sky started poking his arm, almost begging him to start talking.

“Fuckin’ Ravio ‘n Marin.”

“Aw, cute. I hope we get the chance to meet them someday and hopefully get the chance to tease you more.”

Warriors cackled, Legend taking a swipe at him and causing the taller hero to drop the paper. Sky got to his feet, pulling Warriors up and away from the now embarrassed and irritable veteran hero.

-

The next chance they got was on the road, wandering along a set path towards an unknown destination. Twilight was near the back of the group, leading Epona along by her reins while looking lost in thought, a small smile on his face. Sky eyed Twi from a few feet in front, Warriors nudging him to enact their plan. Sky nodded, slowing down enough to walk next to the ranch hand.

“Hey, how are you holding up back here?”

“Hm? ’m doin’ alright, why do you ask?”

“You just looked lost in thought. What were you thinking about?”

At this Twilight sighed a fond smile on his face.

“Just the person that I know I’ll be goin’ home to.”

“Oh? And who would that be if you don’t mind me asking?”

Twilight’s smile grew, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Epona took that moment to bump her head against Twilight’s with a huff. Sky chuckled, Twilight looking annoyed yet fond as he turned to Epona, patting her on the nose.

“Someone I met during my adventure, but we didn’t really interact much until after.”

“Will we ever meet the person who stole your heart?” Sky asked with a smile, Twilight blushing profusely.

“I’ll tell ya what, Sky,” Twilight smiled, turning to face the other, “if we ever find ourselves in my era’s castle town, I’ll take ya to meet my partner. If I know him well, and I hope I do after two years of being together, I think he’ll want to talk to you and ask a bunch of questions.”

“Oh? About what?”

“He’s a researcher, completely enamored and fascinated by the sky people, which are a tribe that lives in the sky. I’ve been up there a few times myself.”

“Was it-”

“No, it wasn’t Skyloft,” he looked apologetic, “But it is pretty cool up there, a whole city made up of this race of people I never even knew about.”

“You’ll have to show me one day, I’d love to see it,” Sky smiled, Twilight grinning in return.

--

Warriors was only slightly annoyed that he missed the chance to tease Twilight about his partner. Only slightly though. So, of course, he decided to go and bother a different member of their group by himself. Wind just so happened to be the closest at the time.

“Hey there, Sailor,” he laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and digging his other hand into a fist, messing up the golden locks.

“Oi, knock it off ya jerk!” Wind yelled, laughing as he threw Warriors off of him, ducking below another attempt at a grab, and launching himself onto Warriors’ back with a triumphant yell.

“Payback time, bitch!”

Wind proceeded to return the favor, Warriors laughing and running around trying to dislodge the other hero from his back. He could see Time watching them fondly, a hint of mischief in his gaze. Eventually, they both tired out, collapsing in a heap on the ground panting and laughing. As the laughter petered out, Warriors leaned on his elbow, face in his hand looking at Wind as the sailor laid on his back.

“I’m curious about something, Sailor.”

“Oh? About what?” Wind asked, craning his neck to look the other in the eyes.

“D’you have anyone waiting for you at home?”

“I mean,” Wind scrunched his face in thought, “there’s grandma an’ Aryll an’ Tetra an’ her crew. Is that what you mean?”

Wars shrugged.

“Sort of. I meant more like,” Warriors leaned over Wind more, blocking the sun with his shadow, “anyone stolen your heart while you were traveling around?”

Wind made a gagging noise, rolling away from Warriors only to sit up and push the Captain over onto his back.

“No way! That’s gross!”

Warriors laughed.

“So the fair pirate captain hasn’t stolen your greatest treasure yet?”

Wind made another gagging noise, covering Warriors’ mouth with both hands and sitting on his chest.

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

The muffled laughter eventually was contagious enough to get Wind to relent and laugh a bit himself. There wasn’t much else to tease about, Warriors only knew the bare minimum about the young sailors travels from the hero himself. Anyone he met during the War of Ages from the sailor’s era never talked about their Hero of Winds enough for him to make any connections either. So Wars surrendered, rolling to get Wind off of him and maybe crushing the sailor a bit with his body for good measure. He only laughed as they started to wrestle in the grass again until Time called for them to hurry up. 

---

Hyrule they asked during his watchshift, knowing the traveler hero was less likely to say anything when everyone’s eyes were focused on him. When the Traveler was settled next to the fire, peering out at the quiet peaceful night blanketing them all, Sky got up. He made sure to make some noise so as to not startle the other hero, bumping Warriors with his foot as he walked toward Hyrule.

“Hey Traveler,” Sky spoke, Hyrule humming in acknowledgement, “mind if I sit with you?”

“Go ahead, but shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Sky shrugged, taking a seat on the log next to Hyrule. He sighed as he sat down, feeling the heat of the fire on his skin that wasn’t covered by his nightclothes.

“So, what’s up? I’m sure you didn’t pry yourself out of your blankets and bedroll for no reason.”

Sky chuckled.

“You got me. I was merely curious about something.”

“May as well say it, then and hope I have an answer for you.”

“About your adventure, do you have anyone waiting for you once this is over?”

“How do you mean?”

“Romantically, if you don’t mind,” Warriors spoke up, causing both heroes to flinch in response.

Sky leveled a tired glare at him, the Captain smirking in lieu of a response. He could hear Hyrule shifting uncomfortably next to him over the quiet crackling of the fire.

“You don’t have to respond if the question makes you uncomfortable. We won’t push you for an answer,” Sky spoke softly, hoping that Hyrule would be at least somewhat less anxious.

“I, uh, I don’t mind answering it’s just,” Hyrule paused, sighing and running a hand through his hair, “it’s hard to explain I guess.”

Sky watched as Hyrule gathered his thoughts, Warriors got up and sat near the log they were seated on. 

“Take as long as you need, traveler,” Warriors spoke, a small smile making its way onto Hyrule’s face.

“I guess… technically my Zeldas are waiting for me back home, but we don’t like each other in that way. Romantically I mean,” Hyrule explained, his hands waving around distractedly as he spoke, “It’s like… we enjoy spending time together, and we want to see each other be happy. I don’t really live at the castle, but I always have a place to stay there if I want to. But I don’t really want or care to have any sort of romantic relationship… it just isn’t appealing to me I guess.”

Warriors nodded, humming to himself as he stood back up. Sky watched him as he brushed imaginary dirt from his sleep pants.

“I’ve heard of that before,” Warriors said, smiling softly at Hyrule, “and I’m glad that you’re happy where you’re at regardless of romantic attraction.”

Hyrule nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

“Thanks Captain, I appreciate it.”

With that done, there was no real reason to stay up, so Warriors retreated back to his bedroll. Sky soon followed, after hugging Hyrule tightly and wishing him a good watch shift.

----

Warriors slung his arm around Wild’s shoulders, startling him from his thoughts as they were all walking aimlessly as a group. Wild looked over quizzically, Wars grinning at him. Sky then appeared at Wild’s other side, waving.

“What are you two up to?” Wild asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked between the two heroes.

“Well, my heroic friend,” Warriors began, pulling him closer, “We were just talking about your era and wondering who you’ve got waiting for you in that house you always talk about owning.”

Wild looked confused for a moment, looking to Sky.

“He means if you have anyone that you like back in your era.”

Wild nodded, understanding the question now. He thought for a moment, closing his eyes and letting Warriors’ arm lead him to keep up with the rest of the group. He opened his eyes then, looking sheepish.

“Well, uh, where do I even start?” Wild asked, causing Sky and Wars to look at each other in confused surprise, “There’s Sidon, Paya, Lasli, Aliza, Guy, Fyson, I have a thing with Aji, and there’s Bazz, Gaddison, and Rivan. And from what little memory I got back, I think I had a thing with Mipha and Revali.”

Warriors and Sky were slack-jawed at Wild’s answer. So many people, much more than they had expected. Warriors had pulled his arm off of Wild’s shoulders and was tempted to reach over and make sure this was real, but he stopped himself from doing something stupid.

“A-And you’re romantically involved with all of these people?” Sky’s voice was higher than normal as he asked.

“Oh, just romantically involved? Or just overall involved? Cuz overall that’s probably all of them, but for just like devoted to them? I think I was with Mipha and Revali, but I’m now mostly devoted to Sidon in that way. But uh, we’re all in agreement with an open relationship, just, ya know, communication is important.”

Wild shrugged. Seeming unbothered by the shocked expressions from both of his companions.

“O-oh, okay. That makes more sense,” Warriors said, Sky elbowed him in the side at his stutter.

“I’m glad that you’re happy with all these people,” Wars smiled, slinging an arm around Wild’s shoulders once again.

Sky chuckled.

“Yes, I’m also happy for you Wild.”

-----

“My romance life? Really?”

Four sighed at the two heroes looking at him expectantly. He mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘these idiots I swear’. 

“Fine. I’ll tell you my love life if you’re so determined to find out.”

Four leaned back against the tree he had been sitting under, looking up at the branches for a moment. Sky and Warriors sat in front of him, Warriors looking quite excited to find out all the details. Sky just chuckled at the other’s antics then faced Four fully.

“I know that at one point I had what I thought was a crush on this girl I met on my third quest, but turns out I just wanted to be friends with her. Dot ended up being the one to date her,” Four laughed, shaking his head, then looked at the two eager heroes, “I’ve only ever had one partner and I don’t think I need more than him in my life. His name is Shadow and he’s a shit, but I love him.”

“Shadow, huh?” Warriors questioned, eyebrow raised with a smirk on his face, “So you’re into the bad boy type, the hard to get type.”

“About to be the ‘punch you in the face’ type.”

The sudden voice startled the two heroes as a newcomer appeared from around the back of the tree, looking very similar to Four if not for the dark purple hair, crimson eyes, and sharp toothed grin. Four sighed loudly, leaning against the tree again.

“Do you have to be so dramatic?”

“You love it, don’t even pretend otherwise.”

Warriors and Sky stared, slack-jawed at the new person who just appeared from seemingly thin-air. Sky caught Wars starting to reach for the knife in his boot and elbowed him. Hard. Warriors rubbed his side, a wounded look on his face when he shot Sky a look.

“So this is Shadow?”

Four nodded, sighing.

“Unfortunately.”

“Oh c’mon Rainbow, don’t be like that,” Shadow cried, dropping in front of Four and pouting up at him.

Four laughed, shaking his head and patting Shadow’s head. Sky smiled at the two, watching as they moved to sit next to each other, leaning on each other contentedly.

“You both seem happy,” Sky spoke.

“After everything, I think it’s only fair,” Four replied, grasping Shadow’s hand with a small smile. 

He never elaborated, but Sky figured it was a private matter and nodded to Wars that they should leave the two be. As the two heroes left, Sky saw Shadow kiss the back of Four’s hand before he disappeared once again, but Four seemed happy rather than upset. That was all that Sky wanted for his companions. 

------

“We already know the Old Man’s love life, Wars, do we really have to ask him?”

“Oh, c’mon Sky, you and I both know that there’s more to this story.”

Warriors was practically dragging Sky along up the path toward where Time was standing against a tree. He was watching them, smirking at their antics as they got closer. Sky was tempted to dig in his heels, just to make Wars fall and hopefully abandon the plan, but deep down he would admit that he was curious too. So he kept walking until they were face to face with Time.

“Okay, spill it Old Man,” Warriors started, hands on his hips, “You were young once and I know for a fact that you’ve got some other people who were on your radar in the past.”

“Ah, is that what this is about?” he asked, shaking his head with amusement, “Young heroes with nothing better to do than to pry into an old man’s history, eh?”

“If you don’t start talking, then I can start embarrassing you in front of everyone else in our party,” Warriors looked smug, Time’s face falling from amused to resigned.

“Fine you dumbass,” Time rolled his eye, sighing heavily, “There were a few when I was younger. Back during my first adventure, I accidentally got engaged to a Zora princess and-”

“I’m sorry, but how do you accidentally get engaged?” Sky asked, brow furrowed as he tried to figure out the answer to his question.

“You know, saving her from a monster. Regular hero stuff,” Time shrugged, “but anyway. Later on, I met Sheik and well…”

Time trailed off, looking away from the two heroes with a slight pink tint to his cheeks. Wars was smirking while Sky smiled at the sight.

“I knew it!” Wars yelled, poking Time in the chest, “You can’t hide anything from me ya lil shit! When you first met Sheik in my era all those years ago, I knew something was up! You couldn’t even look at ‘em!”

Time hid his face in his hands, the tips of his ears starting to turn red from the onslaught. Sky giggled, shaking his head.

“Look, okay, they were really cool and mysterious and I was young and dumb. I dunno what you want me to say.”

Warriors and Sky both laughed at the admission, causing Time to crumple to the ground and sit against the tree, face still hidden behind his hands. When they had recovered from the laughter, Sky knelt on the ground, sitting on his legs and facing Time.

“That’s not the end of this tale, is it.”

Time shook his head, finally removing his hands and showing off his pink embarrassed cheeks. 

“Zelda too. She just seemed so strong and amazing, I wanted to get to know her better, but things happened and then I felt like I couldn’t talk to her that way anymore.”

“That part I didn’t know,” Warriors stated, moving to sit next to Time with his back against the tree. He put an arm around Time’s shoulders and brought him close in a small hug.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It’s in the past,” Time said, a small smile on his face that wasn’t quite happy, “besides, I’m sure you have some ideas about the other ones.”

Warriors’ kind smile turned positively gleeful, his eyes lighting up as he retracted his hand from Time’s should to clap them together. Sky smiled too, the excitement of the captain positively infectious. Time shook his head.

“I ended up in the War of Eras sometime after the first fight with Cia I believe. I met quite a few people and yes, some of them I thought about getting closer to.”

“Names? Perhaps?” Warriors’ smile looked positively shit-eating.

“I think I met your Sheik and Impa first, Captain, if you don’t count Darunia and Ruto. I thought the same thing about your Sheik as I did my own, but it was obvious that they were not interested. Impa was pretty, but intimidating enough that my crush ended quite quickly.”

“Glad you didn’t act on your crush on Impa, cuz I would’ve fought you for her,” Warriors laughed, knocking a shoulder into Time’s shoulder, earning a chuckle.

“I was about to say,” Sky giggled.

“Anyway, I met Agitha and Midna next. I’ll admit, I thought that Agitha was cute and that her bugs were fascinating, but we never interacted much beyond that. And that’s the extent of my crushes when I was there.”

“Ah, I forgot that you didn’t meet the rest of the travelers after that,” Wars nodded, “I was gonna say that I thought you’d have crushes on Tetra and Marin, and potentially Ravio and Medli.”

“Ah, we’ve met them while together,” Time looked thoughtful, “I think you’d be right about some of them.”

“Oh?”

Time didn’t respond, getting up and starting to walk away. Warriors and Sky joined him, following behind him and waiting for an answer, only to see Time smiling at them both.

“I’m afraid that this is the end of our little chat,” Time laughed, breaking into a run.

Warriors tried to call after him, but there was no response. And he wouldn’t respond to any further prodding no matter how much the two heroes tried.

-------

Sky sighed, sitting next to Warriors on the log they had rolled over near the fire. The group had finally stopped for the night and he figured that now was the time to talk since everyone else was asleep.

“Successful prodding for information, hm?” Sky asked, leaning on a hand propped up by his knee. Warriors nodded.

“Legend has Ravio, Ralph, Marin. Twilight has Shad. Wind doesn’t seem interested in anyone at the moment. Hyrule also isn’t interested in anyone. Wild has several but is with Sidon. Four has Shadow. Time has Malon, which we both knew, but it was fun to poke at him a bit.”

“Heh, yeah that was pretty fun,” Sky leaned back, now propping himself up with his arms behind him, “What do we do with this newfound knowledge, Captain?”

At this, Warriors turned to face him, eyes alight with mischief. 

“Why, my dear Chosen Hero, we tease them of course.”

[stifledlaughterao3]

Genuinely Something Else: Comiket & comic-related events reflection

I recently attended Comiket 102 in August 2023, and had tons of thoughts on it. I've been attending comic-related cons for years - indie cons, zinefests, anime cons, you name it. I'm a huge fan of doujinshi, specifically fandom doujinshi (mostly shippy stuff, although I love a good platonic / gen focused doujin!), so my main goals at Comiket were to find those, as well as find small, personal works by amateur creators that were more autobiographical in style. Since I have Japanese language skills, I figured this would not be overly difficult to do.

Because of how much I love these genres of work, I've gone to some big conventions, including the Angoulême International Comics Festival ('Angoulême' for short) and Otakon in DC. 

Comiket was genuinely something else.

What you 'do' at these comic events

At Comiket, which does stand for Comic Market, it is definitely a place where you go to purchase items in a 'market' setting - there isn't any aspect of socializing, and as far as I can tell, if there were events, they were in the minority and mostly seemed to be held in the South Hall where the vendors were. I also feel that you can get a lot more chatty at American cons, but that may be due to the general cultural differences between Japan and America. Even though I was a foreigner, I still didn't observe many people chatting and sticking around a specific booth the way I have observed in other countries. It was also so crowded and busy that if you spent too much time at a booth, it was difficult for the artist to help anyone else out as there was literally not enough room to stand next to you as you browsed to be helped. 

At most American fandom-related cons, the same artists are there throughout the con (2-4 days. usually). At Comiket 102 it was held Saturday and Sunday, and there was a complete overhaul from day 1 to day 2 of who was selling their work. I am used to the purchasing technique where you see something you may want to buy, do a loop of the artist's alley to see if something else grabs your attention/money more, and if you decide to go for that first item, you loop back and purchase it. At Comiket this is ill advised as the conference center is enormous and doing so is exhausting, especially if you were to do this going from the East Hall to the West Hall. If you see something you like, you either purchase it immediately, or assume you will never see it again.

The scale of Comiket was just overwhelming. At Angoulême, held in Angoulême, France, the entire small town is turned into a festival for comics, averaging 200,000 people (pre-COVID). Comiket has ranged in the numbers but it was estimated to have more than this at Comiket 102 (the one I attended). At Angoulême it was far more spread out across four to five venues, so I did not feel the same sense of crowding I felt at Comiket, even though the conference halls were large. I could chat away with vendors at Angoulême easily and didn't feel like I was stopping them from getting sales as there was plenty of room for a chatter and a browser at the table. At Angoulême, the entire town became the festival but you could still slip away for a breather. (I found, much like in the rest of France, I could easily hang out in a semi-abandoned cathedral for a while as I pored over my purchases.) 

(The shops participating in the comics festival in Angoulême, as it took over the whole town (2016))

At the average anime/fandom/gaming cons I go to, which range from 10,000-40,000 attendees, the scale is just significantly smaller than the aforementioned larger events, and the artists (usually) attend both days, meaning you can get to know an artist if you stick around enough and they want to connect and chat. I didn't feel like that was as permissible at Comiket, as you were blocking sales since they were only there for that one day, and had a lot less time to sell their stock. (Not that it stopped some booths from selling out by noon!) 

Day 1 of Comiket 102 I spent most of my time in the 'fandom' areas of the East hall, and noticed that, unlike American and European artist alleys, the Comiket artist tables generally stuck to one fandom, or perhaps 2-3 if they were really out there. In American or European artist alleys, you could see up to a dozen or so different fandoms based on what the artist felt like selling, mixed in with original works. In some cons, such as Otakon in Washington, DC, you are required to have a certain percentage of original works (see the 50/50 rule), which would not fly at Comiket, as fandom ("parody") and original works are on separate days. This rule with Otakon is, to my best guess, due to IP and copyright law fear, where fanart definitely walks a thin line and often just gets away with being sold at these sort of conventions due to the low chance of Nintendo actually suing a con vendor who made $40 off of Zelda themed keychains, although I have heard the horror stories from Western copyright holders such as Disney and Paramount. There are many commentaries on 'parody' works in Japan and how they are tacitly allowed by (most) IP holders, which creates a wholly different creator & IP holder environment.  

The lack of fandom diversity per table at Comiket's 'parody' section is likely due to how the tables are grouped by genre- for example, all of the Genshin Impact tables were in a specific area, all of the Bocchi the Rock tables were together, etc. There were a few outliers here and there in regards to this (erotic doujinshi were sometimes sold with various characters, but even they stuck to the 'genre' where they were at - video game, Vtuber, anime, etc). 

Comiket having the day 2 books that were travelogs, how-to booklets (I saw one explaining how to use Excel with a cute anime girl, for example), food and photo based zines, etc, reminded me a lot more of a casual zine fest in America. These were truly made out of a deep and narrow interest in a particular topic; I bought a zine that was photos of signposts near a rural train station in Hokkaido, and then a small travelog of this person's experience in that small town, including the food he ate. He had several others in this series. 

Many of the zines/booklets/doujinshi I saw at the second day of Comiket were as if people printed out their blog posts and formatted them and then printed them, that sort of travelog/diary feeling. There were also of course many erotic doujinshi and fandom based doujinshi both days, although the first day had more fandoms I was interested in. The range of art quality and styles was refreshing to see - it really felt like anyone could apply and give it a shot to be at Comiket (although I heard the 'circle' (artist/group) applications are bureaucratically harrowing, so there's that barrier to entry.) 

I could best compare Day 2 of the East Hall of Comiket to SPX (Small Press Expo) in Bethesda, MD, which is a small comics event held for 2 days in the DC area. It usually has 3,000 or so people. I have both been an attendee and tabled at it, and of all the events I have been to, SPX is the one to make the most niche, bizarre works, and then chat with people about them (or anything else, really). They make the table aisles far enough away that you can both stand at a table with someone moving through the aisle behind you, and the very connected “we’re all weird here” sort of mentality makes conversation flow. I’ve had extended talks with people when I tabled for a small indie comics press who just noticed something I was wearing or recognized one of our artists or authors. Even though they didn't always purchase something, I got a lot out of the interaction. Even though the social aspects of SPX still didn’t quite apply over to Comiket Day 2, the “make what you love, you beloved weirdo” feeling was persistent as I went up and down the aisles of the food/travelog/explanation doujinshi. 

While obviously people in the other sections of Comiket were making what they loved too, there was something different about someone selling a doujinshi made about their travelog in Berlin or a book on the sake that had come out in the Chiba area and their takes on it as a sake master. I was able to chat with the artists for the aforementioned works, no doubt due to the nicheness of their products their booths were not overflowing with people. My gain, I suppose!

(One of the pass-through areas to get between halls.)

Cosplay

Cosplay also differed at Comiket from my experience at similar American events, because you had to sign up beforehand to cosplay and change at the center (you cannot show up in cosplay), and you cannot be on the merch hall floors in cosplay - you can only be in cosplay at the specifically structured pavilion. (Exception - vendors could cosplay in the main halls.). It meant a lot less spontaneous cosplay connections of 'I love your cosplay!'  'Thank you! [Insert follow up comment if the person felt up for that]", etc. 

I've had many conversations with con-goers at Western anime/fandom/gaming cons based on their cosplay but given that at Comiket it was usually vendors I say in cosplay (who, as I mentioned before, I didn't feel I should/could chat with), I ended up only briefly complimenting the cosplays I liked before purchasing my item or moving along. 

It should also be noted that the ‘cosplay photos’ doujinshi section of Comiket is huge, and obviously the vendors selling photos of themselves in cosplay often were in cosplay behind the table. I also suspect that due to the cosplay books being sold on Day 2, the cosplay participants in the cosplay hall dropped significantly in number on that day. I don’t have the numbers to back that up, however. 

(Side note: I was also pleasantly surprised to see the sort of ‘soft gravure’ doujinshi in the cosplay section. One book I regret not getting was of a thirty-forty-ish year old woman in soft sweaters drinking a hot beverage while walking or sitting around a cozy fall urban park setting. I cannot imagine I would find that even at the most niche of American zine events I’ve been to.) 

Closing thoughts

I wish I knew someone that knows Comiket well that would be willing to answer some questions I have, as there were many genres and conventions of books I didn't understand. When I talked to the vendors at Comiket, my Japanese just wasn't nuanced enough to get into the subculture and sociological aspects of my questions. I also didn't want to bother the vendors too much, as I didn't want to block them from possible other purchases by taking up table space. I am definitely making do with limited information, even with my research prior to the event. 

Overall, to call Comiket a "con" would be inaccurate- it is primarily for purchasing items, where as a 'con'/'convention' feels more like a gathering of people to engage, whether it indeed be at the artist alley, at panels, at cosplay meetups, and the spontaneous interactions in the halls. I feel that, at Comiket, it's difficult for the attendees to get to know each other and make connections but I absolutely can see where vendors would gain familiarity and friendships with other sellers, especially if they attend year after year. Also, this is all with the huge caveat- I am a foreigner with middling Japanese proficiency! It is far more likely that I missed out on this spontaneous attendee connection due to this very large elephant in the room that was my language proficiency. I spoke to several vendors in areas where it was slower and made some connections but not nearly the depth I did when I was in America or France. 

I would love to attend Comiket again (perhaps the winter one, as waiting in line for 3 hours in the blazing sun was an experience in Suffering (™).) Next time I'll be a little more prepared and do my research on which vendors will be where so I can hit up their booths first and then leisurely browse after. And hey, maybe my Japanese will be better then, and I'll be able to understand a little more of what the hell was going on!

[solitaireships]

The Steadfast Fic List

So! I wanted to share some of the fics I've written about James and Chae-Yeong because as I've mentioned a couple of times, Chae-Yeong was originally created half as a self insert, and some of the fics I write about them do majorly have me using her for that. And both of them are my F/Os in general, so it feels appropriate to have the fics I've written about them here

This post will have some links to some of my favorite stories I've written about them, as well as some info about them and snippets from them! Not all of my Steadfast fics are listed here, but you can read the others on my ao3. The stories with ratings higher than G are under the read more

if you end up checking out any of these fics, I'd love to hear thoughts on them! tho if you're going to comment on the fics on ao3, I'd prefer if you didn't mention they're self shippy since I like to keep that restricted to here and my self ship ao3 account

Discretion

Rating: G, Word Count: 956, Genre: Fluff

Chae-Yeong likes that their relationship is private. She doesn’t want people to know about them, and admittedly it can be exciting trying to get together in secret. But looking at James in a freshly pressed suit that’s a dark shade of gray that he rarely wears these days, it’s hard not to think about getting to show him just how attractive he looks in it.

you could say I'm fond of you

Rating: G, Word Count: 958, Genre: Fluff

Chae-Yeong takes off her shoes, grunting as she bends over. On nights like these it’s more clear than usual that she’s getting older, and her back always seems to be sore these days. Exhaustion only heightens the feeling of every ache and pain in her body, so it’ll do her good to get some rest. Especially when she knows James will be waiting in bed for her.

Steadfast for the Holidays

An assortment of monthly one shots based around different holidays. Almost all of the fics are about 2000-3000 words, and they’re mostly fluff, with one being hurt/comfort instead. All fics in this collection are rated G or T. All of the stories can standalone, so you can read all of them or just one. My personal favorites are absolute isolation and Memorial

Content warning for Memorial that it discusses James’s PTSD and body image issues, so it may be too heavy for some readers. None of the other stories have any warnings for them beyond some suggestive comments in the stories rated T

The excerpt here is from absolute isolation

It’s quiet. Almost peaceful. In the everyday madness of running an academy, military, and kingdom along with working with Oz.pin, it’s easy for James to get lost in his duties and forget to settle down. It’s hard for him to force himself from his work, especially when he knows that so many people are counting on him, but the Council is suspended for a week, and classes at Atlas won’t start up until around the same time.

It’s rare that James ever gets anything remotely close to a break, so he might as well take advantage of what little time off he has. Especially if it means getting to spend time with Chae-Yeong.

rebooted relationships

Rating: M, Words: 4392, Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Content warnings: Discussion of sex, body image issues related to prosthetics

James wants to hug Chae-Yeong. He wants to keep her close to him. He wants to hold her and put his hand on the small of her back and stay like this for the rest of the night. They can pretend that things are normal and be in love again like they were back when they were at At.las Academy.

But the reality is that things are different. Neither of them are the same people that they used to be, and while James knows that he can still love Chae-Yeong, he can’t shake the thought that he wouldn’t deserve any love from her in return.

Tokophobia

Rating: M, Word Count: 4549, Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Content warnings: Panic attacks, emetophobia tw, and the main theme of this story is tokophobia (the fear of pregnancy) so some potentially upsetting view of pregnancy and motherhood are a big part of it. This was a vent fic, so read at your own discretion

When you’re a public figure, you have to be used to people saying things about you that you’re uncomfortable with. Chae-Yeong is fine with people talking about her behind her back about almost anything. She’s never liked when people objectify her, seeing her as nothing more than a sex object or prize to be won.

But Chae-Yeong would much rather hear someone bemoaning they can’t sleep with her than talking about how she should be pregnant and have kids by now.

Dividers from here!

[panlight]

(My asks about the covens are separate so that they get all the focus whenever you come across them.)

Next coven: the Romanians. Their role, what they matter to the story (and why they may not actually matter) or if they do/don't why/why not? What do they do all day and night besides grumble over everything they lost, imagine burning the Volturi alive, sit around, and feed? Or is that really it in your view?

I LOVE the Romanians, mostly because finally--FINALLY--we have some characters whose motivations have absolutely nothing to do with Bella or her kid or even the Cullens generally. They literally DO NOT CARE about Renesmee or this gathering or whether the Cullens get wiped off the face of the earth for their supposed crime. And I love that for us, and for them. It’s like they somehow broke through the Bellaverse bubble. It’s almost meta how they show up uninvited, like SM herself might have been like “where did these guys come from?” 

“Vladimir” as a name throws me off. I mean it’s not unheard of in Romania but it’s much more strongly associated with Russia. I would guess her thought process was:  Romania = Transylvania = Dracula = Vlad (the Impaler)  = Vladimir  

But the historical Vlad was not a Vladimir.

I suppose it’s a modern adoption anyway; they’re so old that they’re actually from ancient Dacia, not the much more modern entity of Romania, and probably adopted the names “Stefan” and “Vladimir” more recently. He should probably just be “Vlad” though rather than “Vladimir.”

I love that they don’t care and aren’t friends and are just there because they want to be there if the Volturi go down. I love how Carlisle’s like “no no we’re not going to fight them” and they’re like “lol okay if you say so but we’ll hang around JUST IN CASE >:) “ And I suppose that’s their narrative purpose, to FINALLY bring in some outside perspective, to show that there ARE some vampires who just want to take the Volturi out for their own reasons. 

They are a big example of why SM’s handling of the language issue is clumsy, though. Bella, the narrator, only understands English, so all these characters speak English and like, sure, okay. I guess I can accept that. But why would the Romanians be muttering to each other in English? 

Unless they are doing it on purpose because they want to be overheard, which is also hilarious. 

I sort of imagine them as Wile E. Coyotes who are constantly coming up with plans to take out the Volturi, and they always fail, but then they get right back at it. But I do think if they ever DID somehow get the throne back they’re feel totally lost. It’s like the dog that was chasing a car finally catching it. NOW what? Revenge had been their motivator for so long it became their identity. If they achieve it . . . now what? There’s also a bit of Sleeping Beauty’s “bad fairy’ in them in that they showed up uninvited but everyone tolerates them because making them mad would probably just make things worse.

I do think it’s a bit disappointing that SM went out of her way to give them mates/wives in the guide. I liked it better to think they were just pissed about losing their throne and their power vs the “I lost a mate!” stuff. 

I’m indifferent about whether I want them to be a romantic couple or not. As I’ve said before, I’m not shippy, so I don’t really care, although I get WHY people want them to be. Finishing each other’s sentences? There’s obviously a deep bond there but whether it’s from a shared desire for revenge, or desire for each other (or why not both?) makes no real difference to me personally. Although we all know SM didn’t intend it, and probably added the “they had mates! FEMALE mates!” to the guide after the fact to try and tamp down the “They’re in love!” fandom interpretation. 

[sweettsubaki]

A few days ago I finally took the step to catch up on Natsume Yuujinchou which I haven't read in over ten years.

I watched the first ep when it came out and when I looked it up I realized the 2nd volume was just gonna be released a few days afterwards (don't ask me more, that was almost 15 years ago). Which I bought (well my mom bought me, I was barely 16 and had no money), then procedeed to catch up on the translated chapters (I don't know if it's still the case but back then I think there was something like a 6 chapters/6 months up to 10 chap/months difference between the chapter release in Japan and the fantrad).

I stopped reading around the time my mom died at the end of 2012 bc it was monthly and I already have a hard time keeping up with monthly releases and back then I wasn't in the mood for this kind of waiting.

I also never went past season 2 bc keeping Sasada around wasn't a change I cared for. I didn't really mind but it didn't make things more interesting so it was meh and I didn't care for the OP/ED of s3 (look after s2's opening, s3's OP was disappointing and since I didn't have the curiosity of what will happen next? For the main arcs and I was mostly indifferent to the characters added/reused for fillers ('xcept fox kid) so there wasn't enough to keep me around).

So I thought: why not go back through watching the anime since there are lots of seasons now and a few filler characters won't be too bad. Which I did, and it was...good at first, then nice...

And the more I watched, the weirder some things seemed to be (like Natori, Taki and Tanuma's personalities, or Natsume being weirdly open when I remembered how closed off he was and how opening himself up was harder than that or the weird shippy vibe between Taki and Natsume (or even Taki and Tanuma) which was even weirder because I remembered shipping TanuNatsu because of Tanuma's role as an anchor and the developing trust between them and his role in helping Natsume opening up).

But I thought that maybe I just didn't remember it that well as it has been 10 years since I last read it, but while I started the manga, I also browsed tumblr and I stumbled upon metas explaining how the anime to... Basically stereotypicalize the characters so they'd fit in the cases these characters would normally fit (heroic MC who saves his friends, soft and empathetic girl(friend of the MC), wise big brother who is touched by the younger, more naive MC, and the protective and assertive best friend of the MC who's useless and gets in the way but is still loved).

So 1. I was glad I actually remembered it fairly well, especially since I remembered liking it because of the fact it went about it differently. And especially because human (and yokai) connections were pretty much at the center of the story.

2. I was sad that they basically no homo-ed a story that was so queer I read big metas on how queer-themed it was on several websites both in English AND French back in 2009 (it was a lot harder to find these kinds of métas in french if you weren't already part of queer communities back then). And I'm not talking about TanuNatsu but of everything else. One of the métas I read yesterday showed how heteronormativity literally twisted the themes of the story, the characters, and their development.

3. They tried to have some characters make nice so that they wouldn't be as wary and aggressive towards other characters yet the fact that the author allowed her characters to feel like that toward people who felt hurt by the other's actions and/or beliefs was something that was important to me so I'm glad it wasn't just in my mind

[aerinsfables]

Never Have I Ever

The Fablehaven gang plays Never Have I Ever. Not really shippy, but will tag for relevant ships.

---

“Never have I ever become an albino courtesy of a revenant,” Seth announced. His face expressed glee as Warren and Tanu each lowered one finger in response. He was down to three fingers left, himself, and Kendra thought he seemed determined to remain in the game.

“Well, never have I ever held Vasilis,” Tanu retorted. The smile dropped off of Seth’s face as he lowered one of his remaining fingers with a quiet ‘nooo’, and Kendra laughed a little as she also lowered one of hers.

“Never have I ever broken my leg by jumping off a roof,” Dale said, which prompted Warren to roll his eyes and lower another finger. 

“It’s hard to play this game with people you actually know,” Warren protested. “I was nine at the time, yes it was a stupid choice, thank you for reminding me, now let me think for a minute.” He tapped his chin with the side of his hand and seemed to think for a moment. “Never have I ever… had a body double,” he said as he winked at Kendra, who stuck her tongue out at him and lowered one of her fingers. She had the most points left in the group thus far, so she’d been expecting some targeted statements, but still.

“That’s a cheap shot,” she said as she clicked her tongue in disapproval.

He shrugged. “Hey. There’ve been three of you. It’s not my fault that you’re the only one here who’s experienced that.”

“It’s not as fun as you’d think it is,” she replied.

“My turn,” Vanessa said. “Never have I ever spoken with the Fairy Queen.”

Seth let out a loud, “HA!” and gave Vanessa a high five. Warren applauded. Kendra sighed as she placed another finger down. Bracken followed suit as well. “Clever,” he said, sarcasm laced in his tone.

“Always,” Vanessa responded. “It’s your turn, Kendra.”

Well. Two can play at this game, Kendra thought. And, really, she’d meant for her next statement to be a jibe at Warren and Vanessa anyway.

“Never have I ever been engaged to marry anyone,” she said with confidence.

She’d expected the narrowed eyes from Warren and Vanessa as they each lowered a finger. She’d expected Seth’s guffaws and Tanu and Dale’s smiling eyes.

She had not expected for Bracken to lower one of his fingers, too.

Kendra turned her attention to the young man to her immediate left, who cleared his throat in an obvious - and vain - attempt to move the conversation forward, his face a lovely shade of pink. “Excuse me?” she asked, probably sounding about as shocked as she actually was. She wasn’t the only surprised one, though. Seth shouted, “What?!” at the same time that Warren announced it was story time while positively everyone’s eyes turned to Bracken, whose face flushed a darker shade of pink.

Bracken opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsuccessful at producing any words. “I… it was a long time ago, and an accident,” he said. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“How do you accidentally get engaged to someone?” Dale asked. One eyebrow was pointed upward, and he appeared to be rethinking his entire opinion of the young man in question.

Kendra, for her part, was speechless. She didn’t know what to think. It was most definitely story time indeed.

“I… there was… it was…” Bracken cleared his throat again and scratched the back of his head, his gaze firmly fixed upon the table in front of him. “I was younger then. Still getting used to human socialization, still wandering between the wilderness and civilization. I’d decided to spend some time closer to towns, was low on human currency, and desired to reside inside an inn for a time. There were people in the street who advertised a sword-fighting competition, which offered a cash reward, so I decided I’d participate.”

Still unsure of what to think, Kendra furrowed her eyebrows. Where was this going? 

“I’ve… I’m good with swords. The competition wasn’t particularly difficult to win, although the last human I faced that specific day was quite skilled. I digress. I won the contest, was given a large sum of money in a very nice bag, and was also told at that moment that I’d won the hand of the local princess.” 

His face burned red. Kendra didn’t know whether to laugh or smack him upside the head. Maybe both? She refrained from reacting for the moment.

Seth, however, was not so well-controlled. He laughed heartily.

“‘The local princess’? When was this?” Warren asked.

“Shhh, he’s still telling the story,” Tanu said. “I want to hear this. Wish we had some popcorn.”

Bracken looked like he was marching toward his death. “A long, long time ago,” he said, “Somewhere in Ireland. Her name was Aoife MacMurrough.”

“So… did you marry her?” Dale asked.

His eyes grew large. “No!” he nearly shouted. He made eye contact with Kendra, who found it awkward to look at him right at that moment, so she diverted her attention to her hands, which still displayed the five points she’d managed to maintain.

“I tried to tell them that I thought this was a competition solely for money, and that I wasn’t interested in marriage, but the king and his vassals wouldn’t take no for an answer. The rules were apparently clear, although they’d somehow flown over my head. I snuck out of town that night and stayed far away from humans for quite a long time after that. I never found out what happened. Of course, I’d also fled to Greece and other countries and did not return to Ireland for a couple hundred years, but that’s a different story.” He reached toward Kendra and lightly touched her shoulder. “I don’t even know what Princess Aoife looked like.”

“How did you not know that you would wind up promised in marriage to a princess?” Vanessa asked, disbelief and disapproval very much evident in her statement. “Did you not listen to the rules? Did the people announcing the competition not make that clear? How is it possible to enter into a contest like that and not know what you’re fighting for?” 

Kendra didn’t entirely appreciate the tone of voice Vanessa used, but she was incredibly grateful that her friend had been able to voice even just some of the questions she had on her own mind.

Bracken narrowed his eyes. “I was new to Gaelic, and it was mostly still a spoken language at that point in time,” he replied. “I still don’t know how I missed that bit of information. I blame my empty stomach and longing for a soft bed to sleep in for the night.”

“He was - he was hangry,” Seth said, then rolled off into laughter again. Warren and Tanu joined in a bit as well, the earlier looking up something on his phone.

“It was a poor decision. I know. Go ahead and laugh,” Bracken stated. He once again reached for Kendra. “I’m sorry,” he said in a quiet voice.

Sorry for what? Why should he be sorry? Should she be upset? Did she have a right to be upset? Was she upset? All of those questions and more buzzed about in Kendra’s brain, but she refrained from voicing any of them. 

“Wait. Aoife MacMurrough?” Warren asked, his eyes practically bulging out of his head.

“Yes…?” Bracken responded.

Warren chuckled as he read from his phone. “Red Aoife. Married off by Saint Patrick himself. Warrior princess. That Aoife?”

“I don’t know!” Bracken insisted at the same time that Tanu said, “Saint Patrick, huh?” 

“Bracken almost married a leprechaun?!” Seth cried out before yet more raucous laughter escaped from his body.

Dale spoke next, after a brief pause to allow for excess joviality from the company who sat around the table.

“Well. That is an odd circumstance,” he said. “I’ve bailed Warren out of quite a few odd circumstances over the years, but never anything like that. Right, Warren?”

Warren laughed. “Nope.”

“Alright then. I think my next move is to say, never have I ever been accidentally engaged to marry someone,” Dale continued. He innocently blinked at Bracken a few times, who looked dumbfounded and then lowered another finger.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” he asked.

Everyone shook their heads while Kendra finally reacted in laughter. The rest of the table followed after her example.

“Are you upset with me?” he asked her.

Kendra let laughter take over her body for a minute, then wiped a tear from one of her eyes. “Upset?” she asked as more giggles escaped from her lips. “Bracken. You are the only person I know who could have done that.” Giggles. Somehow, this didn’t seem out of character for him. The poor, oblivious unicorn. 

“What other secrets are you hiding?!” Seth demanded.

Bracken folded his arms across his chest and refused to entertain that particular train of thought. “Nope. One story is enough for tonight,” he said. “Come on. Surely all of you have made poor decisions in your young lives as well.”

“Sure, but I never wound up promising myself to someone else by accident,” Vanessa shot back.

Bracken only rolled his eyes at that comment. “I believe it was my turn, next, before Dale stole it from me,” he said as he leveled Vanessa with a cool glare. “Never have I ever controlled someone in their sleep.”

Vanessa ran out of fingers at that one. “Very funny.”

“Always,” he retorted, copying her tone of voice from earlier on in the evening.

Kendra opened her mouth to interrupt them before they could launch into one of their infamous arguments, but Tanu beat her to the punch.

“Never have I ever been near Zzyzx,” he said.

Everyone else at the table groaned and lowered a finger, except Dale, who simply smiled. Warren ran out of points, Seth only had one left, Bracken had two, Tanu and Dale were each down to three, and Kendra still held onto four.

“Your turn again, Seth,” Tanu said once the damage had been assessed.

“Never have I ever… um…” he looked at his sister. “Never have I ever written letters to a dragon prince.”

Kendra could feel her face grow warm as she lowered a finger. “Warren and Vanessa are out, so it’s my turn,” she announced.

“A dragon prince?” Bracken asked. This time, his eyebrows were raised in surprise.

“I knew him as Gavin in his human form,” she said with a sigh. “He was actually Navarog.”

If Bracken’s eyes could have grown larger, Kendra was sure that they would have at that statement. “Excuse me?” he asked, in much the same tone as she’d asked him earlier. “I feel that another story time is in order.”

“Nah, we all know that story already,” Warren announced. “You two talk about that one between yourselves later. It’s Kendra’s turn now.”

“But-“

“Never have I ever drank an enlargement potion,” Kendra interrupted.

Bracken narrowed his gaze at her, but dropped the subject. For the moment.

Tanu lowered one finger. “Ouch, Kendra. I feel like I’ve been singled out.”

“Sorry, Tanu,” she replied with a smile.

Bracken huffed. “Never have I ever been duped by a demon dragon,” he stated.

He was astonished to find that everyone except Dale put their fingers down. Seth ran out of points, Tanu had one left, Kendra was down to three, and Dale and Bracken were still at two.

“All of you?!” he asked.

Dale shrugged his shoulders. “I never met the guy,” he said. “They all went adventuring with him.”

“Except me,” Vanessa elaborated. “I probably would’ve caught on if I had been there, though.”

“Let’s not start this up,” Warren said at the same time that Dale announced, “Never have I ever been in prison.”

Just like that, Tanu was out of points, Kendra had two, and Bracken had only one left.

“Never have I ever been trapped in a barn,” Kendra said. Dale laughed and lowered a finger. One left.

“Never have I ever had coffee,” Bracken said. 

“Really?” Dale asked as he ran out of points. “Never?”

“Not once,” Bracken replied. 

“How-?”

“You were in prison when coffee as a drink was invented, weren’t you?” Kendra laughed.

Bracken’s ears turned pink. “Maybe,” he admitted.

“You’re getting a cup in the morning,” Dale vowed. “I’ll make it for you.”

“Thanks…?” Bracken asked, sounding unsure whether or not he even cared. He turned toward Kendra, who still had two points left. “No coffee for you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t like the smell.”

“Who doesn’t like the smell of coffee?” Dale asked, sounding utterly flabbergasted.

“Kendra,” Seth, Warren, Tanu and Vanessa all replied in unison.

Dale stared straight at Kendra, who laughed when he whispered with so much melodrama that he could only be Warren’s brother, “But. You were my favorite.”

“Hey!” Warren protested. “I’m your favorite!”

“Well, you might be now,” Dale said. His gaze turned back toward Kendra. “How can you not like coffee? Coffee is life.”

“I… I didn’t realize you liked it so much,” Kendra replied.

“The way into Dale’s heart is a healthy serving of coffee every morning,” Vanessa said.

“She makes the best coffee ever,” Dale confirmed. “No other woman will ever take her place.”

Kendra wasn’t sure what was happening. This game was getting ridiculous. Whose turn was it, anyway? She recounted the latest movies and realized that this game was down to just her and Bracken, he only had one point, and it was her turn. 

She smirked. “Bracken,” she began.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Never have I ever won a sword-fighting competition,” she announced.

Bracken lowered his pinky, while Kendra waved her two remaining fingers in his face. “I win!” she taunted.

“That’s not fair,” he playfully complained.

“Totally fair,” Warren insisted.

“I lost three points from one story!” he exclaimed.

Seth shrugged. “It be like that sometimes.”

“Kendra survives the night,” Tanu stated. “Now we all know who to target in the next round.”

Vanessa raised her eyebrows in a somewhat threatening manner which made Kendra wonder what other embarrassing material was going to be paraded about that evening. She looked around to find similar expressions on most everyone else’s faces, too, and laughed when she realized that she would be running out of points very quickly. “No repeats from this round,” she said.

“That’s fine with me,” Tanu said. Everyone else nodded and voiced their agreement.

“Great! I’ll go first!” Seth announced. “Never have I ever run away from a fiancée!”

Bracken planted his face into the palm of his hand while everyone at the table enjoyed a solid laugh.

[supertunanana]

I’ve debated writing this for a while, because who wants to read my inane thoughts on the matter? What are my opinions really worth in the grand scheme of things? I’m not so self important to think this will be of any value. But, I’m an extroverted thinker, so this might help my brain finally shut up, and that’s worth something to me. 

The hypocrisy surrounding Jikook. 

Are they a couple? Maybe. I legitimately don’t know. I don’t default into thinking they’re straight. I don’t default into thinking they’re gay. Every member is a blob, sexually, until they define themselves one way or another. Because honestly, I don’t care. That’s between them and their potential paramours. There’s nothing wrong with either option, heck there’s nothing wrong with both or none. Live a life, man... good luck! 

And I have no problems with shipping, to the extent it is done in a sane way and fans do not impose their ships onto the actual people. What I mean is, if you think Tae and JK look good together and you want to read stories or draw art of them as a couple and you want to explore their dynamic, you do you. However, it crosses a line when fans get mad when real people or real situations do not adhere to their fantasy. When they contradict footage and quotes and the feelings of those involved because it doesn’t fit into their little shipping box, that’s when it’s a problem. Be realistic. Have distinct lines between fantasy and reality, between what you might like and what is actually happening. 

It is this reason, that I think shipping generally innocuous and indicative of the shipper more than the celebrity, that I also don’t think the celebrities in question need to be defended against shipping. Because  if it is distinctly fantasy, then unless they express an opinion on the matter, most celebrities don’t really seem to know about it or care. It’s harmless. That defense, those hackles raised, again say more about the fans than the celebrities. When Xiao Zhan’s (XZ) fans got pissed off that some fanfic writer was portraying him as trans, XZ never weighed in on it. It wasn’t until those fans, in DEFENSE of their idol reported the writer and those of their ilk to the censors in China and got AO3 blocked on Chinese internet, that’s when XZ stepped in. And not to thank his fans for defending him, but to apologize to all the innocent Chinese fanfic writers who lost their work and their sanctuary because a handful of his fans had gotten the site banned. Again, the problem here was fans imposing their own beliefs on the celebrity, in this case thinking he would be upset by this and thus needed to be defended. They ended up causing more harm than good.

So the crux of this, what’s been kicking about in my brain, was the need for the fandom to “defend” JK from “shippers” the day after “hickey gate” and why these things only ever seem to focus on Jikook moments.

First off, “hickey gate” stemmed from footage that was a full, editorial choice to be shared on the part of Hybe and BTS. It was behind the scenes, closed set, pandemic lockdown footage edited together and released as official content, not some concert fancam or paparazzo on the street catching a private moment. They chose to leave in both Jimin and Jungkook on TWO occasions addressing the bruise/bite/hickey on JK’s neck, with the source being attributed to Jimin both times. Thus, people discussing this after the fact is a natural biproduct of it being shared. Is it even “shipping” when we are given the footage and the explanation? Is it not just a strange fact? This isn’t someone superimposing a fantasy onto them. This is the boys flat out saying Jimin bit JK and left a mark on his neck. I get debate over whether it was a bite or a hickey might lend itself more to “shipping”, with the latter being more shippy, but seriously, just looking at it would make anyone to question whether the BRUISE was more a hickey than a bite mark. What it says about the nature of their relationship is a whole other animal, but the fact is, it happened. And people are going to have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about this. And that’s obviously something Hybe/BTS were ok with to share it in the first place (seriously, we would have never known, we DIDN’T even have a whiff of this until they put the whole thing on the DVD, so they were obviously OK with this leading to speculation, because how can a member saying they BIT another on the neck not?). All the content we are given of the boys snuggling, biting, ear sucking, tenderly addressing each other, etc.. is mostly a choice. And that choice will lead to questions and debates, and they’re obviously ok with it. It’s not wrong for people to be like, “huh” when they do questionable things and choose to give us said content about the questionable things. 

But, there always seems to be this backlash when it’s Jikook. We have to “defend” JK, a fully grown man, who brought up the bite himself on camera from people talking about the bite as he himself said it was given to him. No backlash to people saying Jimin claimed doing it to cover up JK’s secret girlfriend (uhhh, when homosexuality is a no-go in SK, that seems a weird choice, but sure, ok.... like just cut it from the footage and slap some make up on like they do during the concert, since none of us noticed it then, and move on if you want to cover it up). But that’s allowed supposition despite having NO EVIDENCE to support it. And what we are TOLD actually happened is not ok and “shipping”?!? 

Worse, when days later some innocuous “TAE AND JK WERE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER OMG! THEY’RE IN LOVE” trends, where is the “save JK from shipping” rhetoric? That is CLEARLY shipping. I’m not saying Jikook shippers don’t do this, too, they do. And I laugh and shake my head at every little thing being dissected and offered as “proof”, but there always seems to be this backlash when it’s Jikook. ESPECIALLY when it’s undeniably... different. Neck biting. Ear sucking. “with JK at 4 a.m.” when they found out Dynamite got number one. Golden Closet Tokyo. These things are facts. Again, they’re... weird facts that do lead me to raise an eyebrow a lot, but they are facts and they were shared by the members as facts. I don’t think it’s necessarily shipping to think weird facts are weird and may lead to conclusions that don’t adhere to the THEY ARE ALL INHERENTLY STRAIGHT manifesto so many fans seem to have (and I think “straight until proven otherwise” is a shitty perspective anyone could have in any walk of life and again speaks to inherent or unconscious heteronormative perceptions in society - hurray -_-). 

But even the dumb shippy stuff that ALL other combos have, is always an ISSUE when done by Jikook. Their bond or interactions are downplayed by major accounts. They’re an outlier. Some shippers even try to make it out like they hate each other (whaaa? HOW?!?!).  Any odd interaction that really is just odd is deemed “shipping” and cast off into the no-no void, where it’s WRONG if you side-eye it. And I know WHY. I know it’s because they ARE different and they do do stuff people just don’t want to look too closely at because it makes them uncomfortable, so it’s easier to just deem it all “other” and “crazy supposition” and get rid of it. But it’s frustrating when it’s legit and it’s stuff they’re choosing to show and give us. It’s frustrating to be told you’re not allowed to go “huh, weird” because now you’re just a crazy shipper. 

And again, I’m NOT saying Jimin and JK are in a relationship, because again, IDK, but I’m also not saying they're NOT either. I’m going to keep side eyeing the fuck out of some of the stuff they do and just enjoy that they are 100% each other’s person in the interim. And if that makes me a crazy shipper, then I guess that’s what I am. 

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l

before anything else there are a few disclaimers i'd like to make:

i am writing this analysis right now because as a non exo stan i'm not into chanbaek that much anymore. of course i like them to some degree since i'm writing this and all but it's nothing in comparison to the way i felt about them two years ago. so i feel like it's easier to keep a less clouded (?) state of mind being where i'm at right now, mentally, in regards to them. i feel like i can look at things more objectively, which is why i decided to write this and share it with you all.

for all the smart asses out there, this is a ship analysis. yes, i’m reading too much into everything. that’s what an analysis is.

all translation credits goes to @/fyeah-chanyeol

i'm a chanyeol stan. this analysis will, most likely, have more information about him in comparison to baekhyun. this is simply because i consumed more content about him since he's my bias (such as magazine interviews, fancams).

i don't stan exo anymore, but it's not because of anything they did. i liked them for a long time and made a lot of different friends because of this fandom, therefore i experienced a lot of hurt, scandals, fights and didn't deal very well with many things, so i decided to leave. this didn't happen because of exo themselves and neither did it happen because of the fandom itself. it happened because of the relationships i had.

that being said, i haven't been following them closely for the past year and a half, but i still keep up with stuff a bit, although not chanbaek related stuff since i gotta dive in kinda deeper for that lmao. so this analysis is mostly in depth for 2012-2018. if anything that you perceive as significant happened after 2018 i'm more than willing to hear your opinions about it.

so, let's get started!!

MAMA ERA

I have always felt like Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship was strange. I started shipping them when they debuted and more specifically because of the 130128 ISAC. When I was younger I didn't see a lot to discuss in their ISAC interactions besides it being cute and shippy, but I've started to look at it differently now.

I think everyone knows how ISAC is known for being basically a stage for fanservice. The whole "dating ground for idols" issue aside, judging from the amount of attention they direct towards the fans who manage to attend the event, idols are clearly instructed to perform fanservice. EXO's first ISAC had to be full of it, obviously, and they did give fans a lot to be happy about, content we still get giddy about to this day, and I'm sure they were instructed to act like this to please us. I don't believe that fanservice equals "false interactions": if two individuals are talking, touching each other, they are interacting, even if it is a carefully planned setting made specifically for pleasing fans. They still get reactions out of one another through these interactions, it is still relevant to the way these people's relationship will develop; even though these acts are done with the intent of pleasing a crowd.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't think the 2013 ISAC fanservice changed anything in Chanbaek's relationship. In fact, I just want to use it as a way to illustrate something I will explain later on.

To be remembered in an industry you must have an image. You won't be getting anywhere without a carefully constructed visual image. Marilyn Monroe is always used as an example of this: she's someone you can easily make a costume of and people will instantly recognize it as her. She's basically a concept by now: blonde hair, red lips and white hair. These aspects take our mind back to her instantly. Of course, most celebrities don't achieve this type of icon status, but it is still important to cling to a specific concept/image of what you want your celebrity self to be perceived as. Without this, you'll be forgotten as soon as your career ends.

When Chanyeol debuted, he clung to the first trait they gave him: being a happy person, a.k.a "happy virus". If you were not an EXO fan back in 2013 then it's likely you're not even aware of this nickname that was given to him, but it's basically just what it sounds like (lol). He was bright, energetic, had a "teeth rich" smile (another nickname that was given to him back then), was able to give 10/10 laughter reactions to MCs and to his members jokes, was always enthusiastic to interact and smile towards fans. He even introduced himself as "happy virus Chanyeol" in interviews (and later on that changed to "EXO's voice Chanyeol" or "EXO's rapper Chanyeol").

I feel like Chanyeol was very much aware of this "must have" that I mentioned, this need to have an image pasted into yourself and have that image be what people will remember you as. We're all complex and multifaceted individuals, but the general public needs something simple to grab on to, something easy to remember. That happy guy from EXO? I know who he is! I'm sure this is the path Chanyeol chose, back when he debuted: to pick a trait given to you by the public and make it a huge part of your image.

However, that image of him didn't last very long. It certainly became tiring to worry so much about how he was being perceived, to carefully construct something so his career would last, specially when his group had so many scandals and went through a sudden burst of popularity that changed their lives completely. By 2017, Chanyeol already had a change of mind in relation to his career, these changes being mostly due to how he felt about music and what he wanted to do with it.

He recognized himself as having always being impatient, which might be the reason why he clung to a specific image so fast right after debuting:

From Fall Magazine in 2017

"At the moment I just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though I have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, I could call it more of a greed to do better."

"When I first debuted I thought I was very optimistic, but as time has passed I think a more reserved side of me is showing."

"I think I've grown in many ways. Maybe it’s because it’s as though I perform everyday, but the stage has become comfortable for me. Shall we say I’ve become more calm and composed? [...] I think I’ve become more mature."

He matured. He's still bright and energetic but he's also more reserved. He managed to keep up the fanservice that his fans adore in a way that is more fitting to his actual personality. It still is an image, but an image that's not as exhausting as his previous one, with its strict demands to act in a certain way all the time. I remember specific interview with MCs demanding him to smile (although jokingly, of course) saying things like "Aren't you EXO's happy virus?", so I'm sure he felt pressured.

This is interesting to think about when put side by side with his relationship with Baekhyun. Back when they debuted, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close friends that clearly felt comfortable with each other, and it isn't surprising to think that Baekhyun would be Chanyeol's first pick when he thought about doing fanservice with someone. Of course, I can't exactly pinpoint their first fanservice moment since I'm not a walking EXO encyclopedia anymore, but I can say with certainty that both of them felt like it worked as soon as they first tried it with the fans, and that's the reason why they kept doing it. Conveniently, they were both good friends, so all was good.

Until well, it wasn't.

At some point, Chanyeol's interactions with Baekhyun seemed too eager for Baekhyun himself. There are various moments where this is visible, such as this one:

Why are you grabbing my wrist out of nowhere young man........

Or...

That one pic where Jongdae, who was in front of them, looked so damn uncomfortable I can't even bring myself to google it

Of course, they had some over the top fanservice that did work out pretty well, such as this one, both of them imitating Jonghyun's and Taemin's Internet War stage, which seems a little scripted now that I look at it properly, with Baekhyun seemingly expecting Chanyeol to do whatever it is that he did on that day. (Can you imagine this: both of them backstage, watching Jonghyun's and Taemin's performance in silence, and one of them just blurts out "We should do that too!". What the fuck was going on)

By the way, if you have never seen the original Internet War performance, you can watch it here.

This is what they were imitating.

Tumblr won’t let me upload the gifs for this moment for some reason, so here and here.

You can't tell me Baekhyun wasn't expecting it already, lol.

Now, know what this moment reminds me of? ISAC. On their Internet War imitation moment, Baekhyun seemed fine, playful, even, agreeing. During ISAC, however, doing basically the same thing again (this time on a lighter way even; since they weren't, you know. Imitating a strong performance such as Internet War.), he appears reluctant. It's a bit painful to watch.

What changed? The ISAC event happened a few months after the SMTOWN concert where they did the Internet War thing, so what made things become so different?

If this has enough likes I’ll make a second part!

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by @scribbling-dragon to do this! Thanks for the tag!! :D

1. Number of stories posted to ao3

20! Which is like 1/4 of my total number of works on ao3, so that’s pretty neat!

2. Word count posted for the year

74,359! Which is honestly pretty impressive considering I posted mostly oneshots and drabbles this year haha

3. Fandoms I wrote for

Dream SMP, Origins SMP, 3rd Life, Last Life, Empires SMP, and Hermitcraft!

4. Pairings

SO much flower husbands omg. And one Phil and Kristin fic! 

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments

Highest by kudos was an icarus and his sun, highest by bookmarks was and the void looked back to say i love you, and the highest by comments was an icarus and his sun (y’all really liked aiahs, I’m glad!! I really liked it too!)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why)

Definitely an icarus and his sun! I felt really afraid to post it, because A: it was super self-indulgent and I thought maybe three people would only really read it, B: it was one of the first specifically shippy flower husbands fics (most fh fics at the time barely had them kissing, cause lots of folks were nervous about overstepping boundaries, and I personally was worried about getting hate for overstepping boundaries). But the attention the fic got was INSANE and I get so many people telling me that my fic inspired them to write flower husbands, which is incredibly sweet. aiahs also got me out of a massive writing slump, it was the first multichapter work in a LONG time that I felt super inspired and motivated to write (it was also the first time EVER that I had written so much that I had a backlog of chapters, and was able to do some daily updates). I also just genuinely enjoyed writing that fic, and I’m so happy that people enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why)

Probably like a beat without a melody. It was my first foray into writing mcyt fanfic, and I don’t really feel all that confident about my characterization of Techno and Tommy in that one. However I will concede that it was the first stepping stone into getting out of a writing slump and beginning to feel excited about writing again!

8. Share or describe a favorite review you’ve received

Both @dancinglifeboat and @pastelvangelion’s reactions to my fics always made my day!! Lifeboat’s long rambling comments on specific details they liked and her pregame comments on tumblr are always lovely, and Kiki’s threats to me over aiahs on discord and tumblr made me cackle like an evil genius lmao

9. A time when writing was really, really hard

Probably the beginning of 2021. I wasn’t as into Sanders Sides as I was before (which made me feel pretty sad, but I couldn’t get myself into it as much as I used to), and because of that I was really struggling with writing. I also felt mild guilt about writing for a different fandom, because I felt like everyone expected Sanders Sides fic from me. I honestly still feel like that a little bit, but that’s mostly my own head being mean, a lot of people seem to have stuck around no matter what I write! And I also have just learned to let myself enjoy things too! Not to mention that I’ve made a bunch of new friends through mcyt!

10. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you

I honestly didn’t think I’d be into flower husbands as much as I am. I thought I’d write a handful of fics and eventually go back to writing Dream SMP fic or get back into Sanders Sides or something, but I really am just no thoughts, head empty, just flower husbands. But as for any specific scene or character, I am surprised that I like writing Jimmy as much as I do. Scott has been my favorite cc for a while (I’ve watched him since like 2016 I think?) so I kind of assumed I’d mostly write in his POV for stuff, but again and again I found myself writing from Jimmy’s POV. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely write from Scott’s POV a lot, but aiahs was mostly Jimmy’s POV, which wasn’t exactly what I had expected to do lol. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing

Scott laughed, dipping and twirling in the sky while Jimmy struggled to keep up. Going after someone who had actual wings while Jimmy only had an elytra was a definite disadvantage, but Jimmy was a little too stubborn to care. Scott climbed higher into the sky with ease, Jimmy following close after- and then the sun hit Scott’s wings and Jimmy just about fell out of the sky. The sun’s rays caught the gold tips of his wings, making them shimmer. But it wasn’t just the sunshine reflecting off his wings- it was the way Scott’s whole face seemed to shine like the sun with his smile and how the wind ruffled his usually neat hair. It was how his laugh sounded as if the shimmering of gold made a sound. It was how those icy blue eyes sparkled with mirth as he held the slimeball victoriously above his head. It was how Scott’s expression suddenly melted from that of a mischievous trickster to something almost fond. All of those things caused that pleasant flip-flopping feeling in his stomach to return, and Jimmy suddenly pitched down because of it. He quickly righted himself, flushing in embarrassment and glaring at Scott’s resulting smirk.

it took me way too long to pick just one excerpt, but i eventually went with this one from ch 4 of aiahs! another close contender was the balcony kiss scene from ch 5 of aiahs, but i decided to go with this one instead cause it’s less angsty lol. but i really like this scene bc i am very proud of the icarus imagery here, as well as the flying description!! 

12. How did you grow as a writer this year?

I think I’ve definitely improved a lot! My characterization has gotten pretty good, and I’ve gotten better at some prose-y and poetic-y type stuff in my writing instead of relying completely on dialogue. I’ve also let myself just write things that I like, without worrying too much about what people “want” from me.

13. How do you hope to grow next year?

While I said that I had gotten better at the more prose/poetic type of writing, I definitely could do with letting up on the dialogue a bit and doing more descriptive writing. Not a whole ton, because my writing style lends more to focusing on characterization, but I do wanna get better with describing a character’s surroundings in a way that is relevant to the fic and doesn’t interrupt the flow of the writing! 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

Honestly anyone who has left comments on AO3 or ramblings in reblogs on tumblr has been such a positive influence on me. I also want to shoutout people who send me asks or messages about fics/aus- @silencer-lemonade, @screamingallium, @smaidjor, @god-of-identity, @dancinglifeboat, @vyeoh, and crown anon are some people off the top of my head who have done so, but there are also so many people who have motivated me this year on discord! If you’re in the rps (ranboo protection squad), or hermbi discord, I love and appreciate you all very many <3 (and also special shoutout to @scribbling-dragon who has motivated me as much as they say I’ve motivated xem!)

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year

the fact that i am incredibly touch-starved and constantly yearning lmao. oh also particularly the amount of platonic hand-holding that showed up in aiahs. someone hold my hand pls i love holding hands with people

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers

write what you want!! even if you think you’re the only person in the world who’d want to read it, write it anyway! bc in my experience, there will probably be at least one other person who likes it, and sometimes fics will surprise you! there have been so many times where i’ve written something on a whim and people have loved it!

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I really want to write more of interrupted isolation this year, as well as maybe FINALLY start that aiahs nature wives sequel! or just write more for the aiahs-verse in general haha

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

uhh how about @infinitelysordinary and @smaidjor! i’d like to see what you’ve got to say about ur fics in 2021!