#i thought like an hour had past
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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"why not just make your own website?"
with the announcement of cohost's death and amidst all the other tumultuous shit currently going on with social media as a concept (i am AMAZED twitter has survived this long given the circumstances), one suggestion that i've been hearing a lot is "we should just go back to the good old days of personal websites. let's all just make neocities pages!!"
(this is gonna be a long one sorry)
and like. idk! it's certainly something i've considered, i think it would be a fun thing to have, but it also feels like the equivalent of "capitalism sucks so let's all just run off into the woods and live in a cabin outside of society" to me. like it would be nice, it would be fun, but it doesn't ultimately solve the actual problems that are present with the modern internet, it just evades them. more importantly in my case and many others, it does not really help people who rely on the modern internet and the connections they're able to make there for their income. sure i can make a website and host my art and blog posts there, but who's going to see it? i can't build a consistent audience and make a living off of random passersby who peek at my website once, say "huh, neat!" and MAYBE add it to an RSS feed or whatever if they really like it. there's minimal potential for meeting and impressing new people outside my existing circles if i don't ALSO still have some manner of social media platform to promote the website on.
a lot of the "solutions" i see people proposing for the slow, painful decline of social media as a user experience keep coming back to old-fashioned, more isolated/insular systems. we miss forums, we miss personal webpages, we miss newsletters, etc etc. but like... those things were ideal in the "old web" because the old web was more about sharing hobbies and interests with whoever happened to pass by and check them out, and even just USING the internet was a niche hobby in and of itself for a lot of people. if you wanna be kinda cynical about it (and not unjustifiably so), web 2.0 is much more blatantly business-oriented, and its algorithms and carefully crafted UX's are primarily meant to funnel you towards viewing ads and spending money on products. looking at it that way, it sure does suck and Everything Was Better Before! but the modern web is ALSO more powerful than anything before it for just like. connecting people. spreading information and news. showing your art/music/writing/thoughts/etc to strangers who never knew you existed an hour ago. putting the tools to reach out to someone and tell them you think they're cool right there on the same website where their art is hosted, just a comment or a message away.
if you're able to avoid patterns of engagement-bait and obsessing over follower counts as a measure of self-worth (a big "if", i realize, but i view it like installing an adblocker - it's just kind of a basic prerequisite for modern internet safety and survival), a lot of these systems can genuinely be really positive and life-changing in ways that were simply not possible 20 years ago! almost all of my current closest friends are people I met through sharing our art on platforms like Twitter who were complete strangers at the time. all of the art clients that regularly pay my bills and support my work came from places like that too! the "social" part of "social media" is really what makes it ultimately worth keeping around in any form, and makes the pursuit of a Good social media platform still valuable.
there's a lot to love about the old web - its aesthetics, simplicity and freedom for personal expression - but every time someone says "just delete your socials and make a personal website" i am forced to confront the fact that i could never do what i currently do or be the person i am on the old web. if i was stuck hanging out in my own little space and only ever interacting with people who openly and loudly share my interests, i couldn't support myself with art full-time, i probably would never have met the kind and quiet strangers who are now my best friends and have made me who i am, and i'd just generally get a lot less insight into the vast range of experiences and perspectives that exist outside of my own. my life would be on a fundamentally different trajectory in countless ways without the advent of web 2.0.
and that's not to say "well twitter and facebook and tumblr all suck but you kinda still have to hand it to them" cuz you don't, obviously. they're corporations, and their job is to take the personalities and thoughts and art of the people who use their products and try to scrunch it all into something uninform and marketable that generates profit and pleases their shareholders. but like, you CAN still make a good thing out of them! these websites are tools just as much as geocities or myspace or IRC used to be. and the one thing these newer tools are pretty much all REALLY good at is discoverability. if you're just a hobbyist at the things you wanna share on the internet, then you likely don't have a lot of use for those tools, and perhaps you WOULD genuinely be happier just keeping a personal blog site or hanging out in private groupchats or sticking to specialized federated Mastodon instances or whatever. it just isn't feasible for me, and there are a LOT of people in my same situation. my entire industry of online freelance artists barely existed 20 years ago, and the web culture of that era is largely incompatible with my continued survival in the mid-2020s. i would LOVE to run off and live in the woods in concept, but all my survival skills are adapted for city living and i would just eat the wrong berry and die out there. i want- i NEED people to try and improve the spaces we're in, and support better forms of social media (like what cohost was trying and largely succeeding to do!) instead of just complaining that it all sucks, everything was better when we were kids, and digging ourselves little holes to hide in. much like all the other problems and frustrations and systemic issues of the world we live in, the modern web isn't going to go away if you just ignore it, so we may as well try to make it better for everyone.
anyways tl;dr i probably WILL make a neocities at some point. it could be fun, even if it doesn't help my career stability or whatever. but i do also need ALL THE SOCIAL PLATFORMS I USE FOR MY JOB TO STOP EXPLODING PRETTY PLEASE, and failing that, some actual half-decent alternatives that aren't going to fizzle out in a month would also be great thanks ✌
#buny text#webbed site#long post#sorry this one got embarrassingly long and i probably repeated myself a lot#i've just essentially had this same conversation like 8 times in the past 24 hours and wanted to actually put my thoughts somewhere public#i hope it doesn't come off like i'm snapping at anyone either. i know this suggestion is always made out of a desire to be helpful#and i do appreciate it and have given it no shortage of thought#i just needed to explain why it isn't a viable solution for everyone and why actual good usable social platforms are still important
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WOE NARILAMB SHITPOST BE UPON YE!!!
Gossip has been brewing in the cult recently 👀
they’re so silly 🥰🥰🥰 HAJSHHAHAHAHA
(og meme under the cut HAHSJAHHA)
Credit to: @decompose1
#THESE TWO. HAVE BEEN LIVING IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE FOR THE PAST 3 WEEKS.#rotates narilamb in my brain like food in the microwave#SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIEND MARS FOR SENDING ME THIS HILARIOUS POST!!!#i saw it and these two were the first thing i thought of HAHA#SO I JUST HAD TO DO IT!#THIS TOOK ME 4 FUCKING HOURS TO FINISH its just that i needed to sleep HAHAHAHHAHA#i had fun drawing their expressions eheh 🥰🥰🥰#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl narilamb#cotl narinder#narinder#cotl toww#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#narilamb fanart#shitpost#woe be upon ye
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May I offer you a hastily drawn picture to wish you a good get-through-the-week? :3
HELLO ??????? HELLO hot gluing this to my eyes IMMEDIATELY thank you so much i feel myself becoming stronger already
#fave#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i am not immune to notifications AND I AM REWARDED GREATLY#snap chats#that parks and rec meme You Know The One i havent stopped staring at this for the past five hours <- its been twenty minutes#PLEAAASSE this is so cute omg thank you so much .... ill cherish this until i die and even then ill continue to cherish it in death#PRECISELY the vision i had earlier you get it ......... im OBSESSED#will have to save this to my phone and refer to it like a sailor lost at sea missing his wife#BOTH wives even .... woAh ......#i dont wanna post this cause i just wanna keep lookign at it whenever i open my inbox. like i need this stapled In My Inbox#we'll do the next best thing il'l print it once i can ....... motivation to not fumble these next few weeks and life tbh#AAA THANK YOU AGAIN MY FRIEND for ALL you do. i STILL have to check the drive you updated i saw that vjLEKJEAJ#a morning endeavor surely ..... for now i bid you good night and a heart Thank You for the nineteenth time !!!!!!!!!#I JUST KEEP SCROLLING BACK UP TO LOOK AT IT PLEAAAASSSEEE ok im gonna sleep FOR REAL NOW#GOOD NIGHT and thank you once more !!!!!! i love it sm .......
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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So now i have migraines apparently 😭
#wahh#it started this morning and i had to lay down this afternoon#all the stress of the past 24 hours i guess#it’s like a nightmare#literally having flashbacks to 2016#not as bad the second time lol starting to get used to it#real dark#never ever underestimate how much america hates women#the saddest part is that u can just See It#all of the men / a lot of them / where i live act like him#big fat misogynistic jerks#they’re all such cruel bullies#im trying not to let it get to me but it’s hard#one day at a time#there’s so many good people out there too#kind nice people#idk#kinda feels like drowning rn#but u gotta keep going#sometimes thinking about all the art i want to make is literally the only thing that keeps me going#so that’s good!#make stuff#draw paint write whatever#and fuck trump#notes tag#i couldn’t stand the thought of there being any doubt#so#i hate trump#boooo
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you know how in school they’d always make you (still make you) like choose random topics to give class presentations on while everyone politely clapped even though they didn’t really care about your powerpoint on fungi or whatever bc they’re too worried about getting their own over with. tumblr is like if every single person in the room was paying full attention and was absolutely stoked about it and gave you wild applause and wolf whistles at the end. you can just get on stage and talk about coelacanths and you become a celebrity for a few minutes. like on tumblr it’s on your own terms so it’s like oh snap education is actually supposed to be fun
#this is to say i got a big presentation out of the way today that i was stressing about#or rather i should say i thought about it as ‘getting it out of the way’#but then once i completed it and was ready to present i was like wait this is actually so cool i’m so excited to present#like i was waiting patiently for my turn#and i had a GREAT time yapping for eight minutes about parthenogenesis in sharks#and i’m like aw i’m kinda sad the project is over… :(#maybe i will yap about it on here some time#i love genetics it’s sooooo cool to me i love you punnet squares i love you genes and reproduction#peach rambles#ALSO i got complimented on the presentation by the girl i wanna befriend sooo bad#like holy snap we have similar energy and we both get way too into this class …#and then we yapped for like 15 minutes more on stuff bc we had to do a ‘group discussion’ for something unrelated in that class#and we were literally the only two people in our section doing that thing#we were only like half on topic lol#can’t beat the ADHDemons#then i had Another presentation in the class right after that and it was kind of terrible bc i can only prepare for one thing at a time smh#but it was much lower stakes so#but like WHEWWWWW i can’t believe i got a chain of massive assignments out of the way…. it’s been a wacky past 48 hours
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Fakir is just like me fr fr
#princess tutu#ahiru#fakir#ptutu#don't ask me why okay I thought I was gonna sleep but I ended up binging like 6 or 7 mangas in the span of 10 hours so uh oops#i've had dogshit sleep these past few days so
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An Animals diorama I made, based on the Pop Gear music video of "House of the Rising Sun"!!
🌅🐾✨️
(Detailed pictures under the cut!)
#celebrating the release of 'house of the rising sun' on this day in 1964!!#AAAAAAAA GOSH.... THE ANIMALS IS HERE!!!!!!!#i've had the idea for this project for over a year now.... so glad i was able to actually make it happen!! 🥹#this is my first time ever making a diorama like this so it's a little rough in some areas bUT the handmade nature is what i was aiming for#hAD TO DRAW EVERYONE'S HEIGHT DIFFERENCES. PERFECTLY. even with john and alan sitting down 🙏#speaking of john you can barely see the meticulous detail of his drum set bUT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS#i spent two hours rendering all of that metal 😔🙏 GOTTA SHOW JOHN HIMSELF#i painted the background myself!! also got the cardboard base and walls from work#the base is an overturned parmesan cheese box 😔🙏 been in the dairy section the past few weeks which is fine NICE AND COOL.#everything came together so nicely aaaaa#iNCLUDING HILTON'S TRYING-TO-HIDE-HIS SMILE#i have drawn alan with sooooo many vox continentals this year and i will draw MORE#eric burdon#alan price#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#british rock#british invasion#60s rock#60s music#house of the rising sun#classic rock#classic rock fanart#it's going to top the charts mickie.......#worried life arts#the animals
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The Passenger (2023) dir. Carter Smith // NEVER AGAIN - MICHELLE
#the passenger#post:music#yapping#i actually havent been able to stop thinking of this scene with this song#idk i feel like (some of) these lyrics are fitting for this#“everything reminds me of them” -me listening to my personal playlist#i prolly have like 200 other songs i could use with these two AISJUHDGFB#“i thought i knew you better than this” dont mind me ripping my teeth out. thinking about how benson didnt even think-#-randy couldve been the one to call. that he was truthful when he said he needed to use the restroom.#that the woman who had nothing in her pockets. no phone. was the one who called. not even considering to check randys pockets-#-after leaving him alone. ughghhfhhhdgfj#ik benson prolly wouldve wanted to die anyways. to prove his point.#-but i do still think a part of him really DID want to undo the past few hours. to before seeing sheppard.#maybe then they could've 'resolved' another one of Randys problems. and left town. gone to the city even.
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the anon asking about addison and the way she compliments and talks about women really got me thinking again.
i think all of it really goes deep into her subconscious and her formative years. and this is a really really long rant i've wanted to talk about forever and ever so bear with me, but theres this one post i think about a LOT. it goes something like "if i knew that there were girls who weren't attracted to boobs i would have known i was gay a lot sooner" and i really do think this applies almost 100% to addison. with how she grew up, being anything outside of the very strict sense of Normal wasn't permitted and if you didn't fit into that "normal", you had to hide it deep down because What Will People Think??? you see evidence of this almost everywhere in addison's family: bizzy and susan keeping their love a secret for decades, bizzy and the captain hiding the imperfections in their marriage, the captain using addison to hide his affairs. and addison does the shameful-hiding too, for decades after she moves out of her parents house and starts her own life. (which makes me wonder at what point did she realize that all of it wasn't worth it, but that's a speculative post for another time)
also along the same lines, i don't think addison would have met/hung around an openly queer person until undergrad at the earliest. and by that time she was so rooted in her parents morals/worldview that she had hidden her (very real) attraction to women so deep down she didn't even recognize it for what it was. and branching off of that, maybe she echoed/imitated bizzy's closeted lesbian behavior without knowing it. something like there's only so much you can hide and addison was always perceptive even when she was young (because she had to be). and by time we meet addison in canon, she's already perfected the plausible deniability of how people will see her comments toward women (only when someone else brings it up first, or masking the comments under intense, hard-to-misinterpret sarcasm re: The Threesome Comment).
#but anyway. this is something thats been circling in my mind the past few months as i have been actively avoiding my wips. haven't had the#words to express the full thought properly until now... and i have a feeling there will be More of it and Very Soon#addison montgomery#grey's anatomy#private practice#thea talks#this sat in my frafts for hours and i don't feel like looking at it anymore!!!! however there is more i would like to say on the subject so#i will be returning with more addison thoughts. soon
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turns out i turned the assignment i was stressing over into something a lot more complicated in my head & its actually really simple
#somehow mistook my far too ambitious plans as the actual assignment#:(#this is really good though bc i thought id be at this all day but if all goes well i could be done in like 2 hours#:)))#which is good bc i have 2 tests tomorrow and an assignment#none of which were put on the online platform we use#which means that i forgot#and another test i have to redo at some point#but i dont know when#aaaghhh why is there so much work always#oh and i need to work on my final project too#the current step is due by the end of next week & its a lot of work#i have to find a bunch of relevant sources#and then paste or type all relevant parts of them in a document#and also provide a defence as to why the sources i picked are trustworthy#and i have to do this for a bunch of them#i have to defend them all individually too#if it was just a text on how i judged the trustworthyness that would be fine#but this is a lot#and im also trying to prepare for the exams already#mine#im so so sick of school#i want some free time to watch a film#!!#its been at least 2 weeks since i had the time#ugh#are they trying to drive us all to burn out or something??
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youtube
#if you have two hours of time watch this?#ive been sick for the past three days so i had time to watch this lol#and to be clear this isn't mindless shitting on acowar some of the points they bring up make so much sense i thought I'd share#at one point katie starts crying because of how dirty tamlin was done and i could not have related to someone more#tw: katie does not like nesta 😭#anti sjm#anti ic#anti rhysand#anti feysand
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you know, the fact that she included folks from the dead poets society in a music video for the tortured poets department is so much more brilliant than we're giving credit for. one of the most well-known quotes from the dead poets society is: "medicine, law, business, engineering - these are all noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, love - these are what we stay alive for." is that not a thesis for taylor's career? poetry, beauty, romance, and love are the things taylor has noted that she lives for time and time again through her art. love is her religion. poetry (which can function as a term referencing her songwriting in this context) not only is what she stays alive for, it's what keeps her alive. poetry functions as her survival mechanism. for her, the pen is medicine. i love that she included the dead poets society as a project she's referencing in her album.
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𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖙 𝖆𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖊 -`. 𝔟𝔤𝔦𝔦𝔦. 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫.
MOON HALF ELF. FIGHTER. ELDRITCH KNIGHT. WIZARD. NECROMANCER. NOBLE. ❦ 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱.
#oc: amavet aerasume#leg.ocs#*myedits#*ocedit#leg.edit#bg3 oc#baldurs gate 3 oc#ch: tav#tav oc#putting him in my pocket and cherishing him coveting him like a dragons treasure mound etc etc#r*haegar core he was always mournful and melancholic 🥀🥹 an air of tragedy surrounded him my poor BOY#his brother rules in his stead in ye olde canon while he’s absent <3#this has been sitting in my drafts for EONS but i am so in love with these *screams*#mourning lord bc of his tragic past OF WHICH I WILL GET INTO 🥀🤧✨#in short his air of melancholy the tragic loss of his dearest his betrothed and other things :’) !!#yana had nothing to do with anything she’s tootally not in his lore either :)#alsoo thinking what if the tragedy was a plot made by s*har?? maybe?#like it would be a PERFECT tie in to sh*adowhearts arc yk????#i did a thought thing in the wee hours of the night but yea!! it would be inch resting i think !!!!!#something something red string *screams*#i love symbolism !!!!!!!#leg? posting at a reasonable hour ?? it’s more likely than you think !!!!!! 🥀🥴✨💀 <3#do not ask him about what happened to his youngest brother he didnt perform a necromantic ritual not realizing his brother was still alive#and mistook thinking he was dead and panicked as it was recently after he lost his beloved so his brother was made reborn bc of it :')#DO NOOT ASK HIM ABOUT IT (i do not have a name for his brother yet but he was the 12th sibling so the youngest of the tall ones!!)
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