#i thought i was improving sadge | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

betamash · 1 year ago

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I honestly have no idea how I ended up with this story from a prompt about Virgil waking up, but I enjoyed making it anyways...

Trigger warnings: curse words, Remus, blood, fighting, crying, possession, sadge moments :(

Enjoy!

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Suddenly, the lights go out. Crap. Roman scrambles backward as something hits him in the arm. He walks into something thick and flexible, it feels like a web. It's not really tall, but he can't get over it before a spotlight hits someone in the middle- are they in a ring?!

There! In the center of the boxing ring (weird right?) stands none other than Logan Sanders dressed in a tuxedo holding a microphone. His knuckles are white. He's starring at the floor, unmoving. His eyes are glossed over, his posture is rigid, he's doing his best impression of a statue. Roman doesn't move, unsure of what might happen if he does, and because Logan's solemn expression demands silence.

Things stay like this for a very long time.

Then, Logan lifts his head, and the pitch black void surrounding the ring erupts into a deafening roar of cheers. The crowd remains invisible to Roman, except for a pair of glowing eyes in the corner hidden partially by a barrier. Just as he spots them, they're gone...

"Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary folks, it is with great pleasure that I welcome you all back to the SSB Ring! Sponsored by CroftersTM. Anyways, we have some very exciting match-ups for you fine folks this evening, some astute people in the crowd might have already figured this one out, but you'll never believe this! Without further delay, here, in the red corner, weighing in at 175 pounds, it's the prince of pain, Dragon Witch slayer and prince stealing player, please welcome, Roman Sanders!" Logan gestures towards Roman's side of the ring.

A light smacks Roman in the face, figuratively. The crowd booms with applause and whistling, but instead of lifting up his ego, it makes him panic. He was never really that good at improv, or boxing... Who are these people? Who are the fighters? What's go-

On the other side of the ring, something slams down into the mat. Logan doesn't even flinch. The crowd goes wild. Roman's foresight prepares him for melee. He wishes boxing had swords...

Logan clears his throat, looks at his shoes, and for just a second, let's his shoulders slump down. Then he's back to perfect posture. He lifts the microphone to his mouth. "Folks, I cannot even begin to explain the situation we're in right now. We have a very special fighter with us today. Here live at SSB we have, returning for one night only, the cardigan-clad clobber, the duality of morality, he really needs no introduction... In the blue corner, weighting in at 210 pounds, it is our heavyweight champion Patton Sanders!" The lights go up on the silhouette in the other corner.

If Roman thought the crowd was loud before, he was very wrong. This is the worst noise he's ever heard in his life, even beating that time Remus put squeaky toys full of macaroni down the garbage disposal. It sounded like a million waves crashing down all at once.

The crowd, not the dog toys.

Also, what the heck was Padre doing in the ring? I mean, he's the cutest puffball we got! He can't bring himself to hurt me, he can't even kill a spider! How's he supposed to win? Roman looked up at Patton and froze. All he could think was 'daddy, sorry, daddy, sorry-' because holy wow... Patton was slightly taller than normal, wearing his usual khakis and cat hoodie tied loosely around his shoulders and- that was it. He was shirtless, which revealed to Roman the massive tattoo on Patton's chest that read 'Popstar' and also his very large muscles.

Roman was screwed.

As Roman stared at Patton, Logan kept talking in the background. Each word bringing them closer to the bell; Roman's impending doom. Patton was standing there, staring at Logan, waiting for him to finish his speech. He had his hands politely clasped in front of him, his boxing gloves set off to the side for later.

Roman lifted his hands, he also had boxing gloves. They were his favorite bright red, except for the palms, which were gold. They looked beautiful, it was such a shame they would end up splattered in his blood- wait, shut up Roman, you're going to be fine... Probably. Most likely, he was going to be okay, boxing had rules and stuff, right? Unless this was underground, which is slang for 'we're allowed to and are going to kill you.' Knowing Virgil, it was the latter.

Speaking of Virgil, where was he? Roman was expecting a battle with him, not papa bear over there, so what's the deal, is Virgil too chicken to come out and fight? As Roman was lost in thought, Logan pointed up towards the top of the stands, and spot lights illuminated a viewing booth. Staring down at him was Janus, and Remus... But more importantly Janus, who was wearing his suit from that time he wanted to impersonate a lawyer. Roman still thought about that day sometimes...

Roman was brought back to the present by the thundering clap of a bell. Oh. So we're doing this.

Patton was already on the move, closing the distance between them. His feet were barely touching the mat. He really took the phrase 'float like a butterfly' to a whole new level. He was also definitely going to sting like a bee... His gloves were a nice sky blue, with some polka dots on the palms, though they were covered with red splotches and specks.

That was maybe not supposed to be the case.

Roman started running. He didn't have a plan, and Patton looked ready to kill. So, he ran to the edge of the ring in the hopes that he could forfeit. The crowd shouted jeers at him, and Patton got a little faster. The ropes around the ring were patterned after spider webs, and they looked really creepy, but Roman needed to hop over and lose the match before he lost his life.

As soon as Roman even touched the ropes, he was wheeled around by two large gloved hands on his shoulders and lifted into the air. He was then being carried bridal style over to the center of the ring, which was surprising, if not a little concerning. He tried to climb out of Patton's grasp, but he was too strong. So, Roman did something stupid.

He punched Patton in the face.

Patton's glasses cracked a little, and his head jerked back, but he didn't drop Roman, he just started snickering. And then he was giggling at Roman, probably for his pathetic attempt to beat him with a poorly aimed shot to the nose. Then he was full on laughing. He dropped Roman in favor of clutching his stomach. Roman made a pouty face at him, and he only started laughing more, tears of joy spilling from his eyes.

Roman realized this was his chance to escape, so he stood up and walked over to the ropes as silently as he could. He got one leg over the web before Logan was barely visible in front of him, shoving him back in the ring.

Then, in an unexpected twist of fate, Logan was climbing into the ring with him, throwing his jacket away and revealing a dress shirt with the sleeves completely torn off. Roman saw that Logan also had obnoxiously good looking muscles and silently wondered if he missed a workout episode or something... Logan snapped his fingers at Patton, but he couldn't stop laughing, so Logan just drove his fist into Patton's stomach to remind him of the situation. Logan wasn't nearly as big as Patton was, but he hit like a semi, because Patton fell backwards onto the mat with a loud thud.

Roman rushed over to the fight to try and ask Logan what was going on, but Patton did a kip-up, one of those flips with his hands that landed him on his feet, and he was charging like a bull straight towards Logan. It was the first time Roman had ever seen true fear on his face, other than that time in anxi- Virgil's room.

Logan rolled out of the way, leaving Roman directly in front of Patton's rage.

Popstar slammed into Roman, caught him, spun him around, then drove his knee into his spine. Roman went flying across the ring, landing on the ropes and soaring back at a now unassuming Patton, who had turned to focus on the now defenseless Logan. Roman stuck his knees out as he was flying, hoping to hit Patton hard.

This wasn't normally allowed in boxing, but he thought the sanctity of the rules was lost when they let the 175 pound man with no knowledge of boxing fight a heavyweight champion.

He struck Patton in the back of the head, knocking him down, but Patton was able to catch himself on his hands and knees, and he was back on his feet shortly after. Logan was also back on his feet, though he was wavering slightly. Patton dodged Logan's left hook and grabbed his arm, swinging him around and kicking his legs out from under him. He looked like a rag doll, and Patton was genuinely smiling as he threw Logan upwards, which made this next part even more terrifying.

As Logan was falling, Patton caught him under the arms like a baby kitten and wrapped him in a spine-crushing hug from behind, solidifying Logan's defeat...

Afterward, Patton let go, and Logan's lifeless body crumpled to the floor.

The crowd's cheers turned into laughter, even Janus was snickering. Remus was still eating his popcorn, though he was grinning too. Roman was just standing there, mortified.

Patton just killed Logan.

Then, Roman had a poorly timed comforting thought. 'This must be a dream. I'm dreaming and I'll wake up pretty soon. Logan will be alive and as annoying as ever, Virgil will still be asleep in bed, Patton will have a shirt again, Remus will be eating something gross instead of popcorn, and Janus will be gone. Just let me wake up...'

The lights, the cheers, the smell of iron, please let it disappear. Let me get back to Thomas's house. Let me be with my famILY again.

Let it all fall away...

And then silence.

No sound.

Nothing

Can't hear the crowd...

"Roman?"

"C'mon, open your eyes!"

"We miss you..."

"Don't give up!"

"You can't forfeit."

And he's back in the ring. Patton's kneeling down in front of Roman with his sad puppy dog look. Logan's standing just behind him, he looks confused, but also concerned. And he's perfectly fine. He has black bruises crawling up his neck, but he's alive.

"I thought we were fighting?" Logan jeers, though it comes out as more of a question than anything. Patton just nods and stands up. He walks himself over to the ropes and steps over. He hangs off them, just on the outside, and before he jumps, he gives Roman a weak smile.

The bell rings.

Logan gathers up his jacket and throws it over his shoulder before grabbing his microphone.

"There you have it folks, Roman Sanders has been declared winner due to forfeit. Not the ending you wanted, I'm sure, but we can agree it was unexpected. The fighting isn't over, though. Sadly, Roman, you've got another opponent." Logan hangs his head in mock sympathy before announcing the fighters once again. "In the red corner, weighing 175 pounds, Roman Sanders. Anyways, in the blue corner! Weighing 163 pounds, it's J-Delightful, The Incredible Sulk, Emo Nightmare, the Hottest Topic, you know him, you fear him, please welcome into the ring our lightweight champion Virgil Sanders!"

There he is! Finally, a chance to clobber the emo!

Virgil's the one who got Roman into this mess, he's going to pay for it. And he better not have really huge muscles! Roman looked up in astonishment as Virgil's eyes started glowing purple. He was the creepy stalker in the stands!

"Stalking out your prey before you strike, Virge? Really, I thought you'd have the guts to face me earlier, but no, you had me break Patton's heart befo-" Roman tries to jeer Virgil, but he's cut off.

"What!?" Virgil runs up to Roman and grabs him by the scruff of his shirt. Damn it, he's got big muscles too! "What did you do to Patton!"

"Oh, someone's angry, the match hasn't even started ye- agh!" Virgil starts choking Roman.

"Where is he! This was just for fun, what did yo-"

"Virgil!" Logan's cut in, he's trying (and failing) to stop Virgil from sending Roman to an early grave. Virgil shoves Logan to the ground.

He knocks his glasses off.

Logan Sanders is a very smart individual, he's not very good with emotions, but he knows what they are and is often willing to compromise on the topic, even if it is through genuine discourse that takes up entire afternoons. He is capable of understanding emotions, but not on his own.

Everyone knows Logan's been hiding out in his room lately; it's no secret. But, no one's been able to understand why. Remus claims to know, but he won't tell them because that would "spoil the surprise," so they're stuck with their theories.

Patton thinks Logan's having trouble with his feelings, but he was dismissed pretty quickly when everyone remembered that Logan doesn't have emotions. He said it himself. He's not de- Janus, he has nothing to gain from lying, so he must be correct. Logan is always correct...

Maybe not.

Definitely not!!!

Boom! Logan's fist connects with Virgil's face, sending Virgil spiraling downward faster than one of his panic attacks. Virgil, of course, lets go of Roman as he falls, and tries to catch himself. He's successful, but soon Logan is driving kicks into Virgil's side while screaming obscenities at no one in particular.

Roman remembers Logan saying something about flames on his face, him seething fire like a dragon. It was figurative, of course, and it was an odd thing for him to describe. But now?

It's literal.

Fire is bubbling over his lips, spilling out of his mouth and scorching his face as he continues to kick Virgil, over and over, never once stopping.

It sounds like a metronome. Or a really thick kick drum. Or a parade all stepping in unison.

But in reality, it's Logan's foot hitting Virgil's chest hard, over and over and over...

and over...

Virgil's sobbing at this point, and Logan's lost himself, so Roman has to save the day yet again. He grabs Logan's tie and tightens it around his neck, suffocating him. Logan makes a grab for his neck to stop the tie from completely sinching, but he fails. He doesn't stop kicking though. Over and over...

He makes no move to loosen the tie. He just keeps his hands there around his collar, and continues kicking. Over and over...

Virgil's losing blood, Logan never lets up. He just stands there, kicking Virgil. Over and over...

Patton punches Logan in the face. Roman still doesn't know how he got there, but he won't gift a horse? Look a gift in the mouth? Whatever. Logan goes flying, neck popping as his head swivels from the impact. He doesn't even blink.

Virgil's still crying on the floor, eyeshadow mixing in with his blood to make a disgusting shade of burgundy even Remus wouldn't be caught dead wearing. Roman helps him up to his knees.

Patton stomps over to Logan's form on the ground, ready to ask for an apology or an explanation or something, but Logan jumps up into a squat and kicks Patton's legs right out from under him. He looks like a break dancer.

Patton cries out as he lands on his shoulder. Logan rises upward, and Roman finally gets a good look at his face now that the fire is gone.

His eyes.

They're orange.

Before Roman can even think about the implications (something Logan taught him), Logan is smiling.

Really, no joke.

And he's staring directly at Roman.

The smile does reach his eyes, so it's real and he's happy, but something about the 'beating the life out of your closest friends' situation makes him seem scarier than usual. Much scarier.

Roman's actually offended that Logan made nerds scary, but he's smart enough not to say a word. Logan walks over to Roman and Virgil, leaving Patton on the floor, reeling in pain. He doesn't acknowledge Virgil, who stares at Logan like he's staring at death, or any social situation.

Logan crouches next to Roman, smile still present, though his teeth are hidden, and it's softer than before.

"Are you safe?" Logan asks, surprisingly kind, as if he hadn't just beat up the two least-deserving people in the family.

"What!? Of course I was safe! Logan! What are you doing!? You just hurt Patton!" Roman barks.

Logan's smile drops, and he turns to look back at Patton. Then he turns back to Roman.

With an even bigger smile.

"It appears I have." Logan answers.

The crowd is silent.

Roman misses the noise.

"Are you safe?" Logan asks again.

"...Yes? I just said that." Roman offers. He's unsure of Logan's next move, so he's playing it safe.

"No, I don't think you are." Logan says, and Roman watches the threads holding Logan back snap like twigs. Holding back Logan's feelings.

Logan's feelings...

Roman understands what being neglected feels like, when no one takes you seriously or dismisses you before you even have a word in edge wise. He's been dismissed by Logan, too.

But Logan's been dismissed a lot more...

Oh.

Shit-

Logan grabs Roman's shoulders and shoves him away from Virgil's side. He starts lifting Virgil off the ground by the hood of his jacket. Virgil is screaming. Roman doesn't know what to do. He knows that he should fight back, but he's having a hard time breathing. He's having a bad time :)

Roman personally has never read the book, but he feels like the epitome of I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison right now. Logan read that book, and he said it was very 'deep.' Roman wishes he spent more time with Logan. Spent less time arguing and more time listening to him rant, and learning with him, because it was biting him now, and he didn't know what to do in this situation. He didn't want to hurt Logan.

But that, that wasn't Logan...

Logan isn't brash, he's calm and collected.

Logan isn't cruel, he's fair and honest.

Logan isn't scary, he's nerdy and fun.

Logan isn't fighting Virgil, but something else is.

Roman looked up at the viewing booth overhead.

Janus and Remus were gone.

Instead, there was a regal looking man wearing a fancy looking suit and an even fancier white mask decorated with orange and black flowers. He had orange highlights in his hair. His dress shirt was orange too. And his vest was orange, and his pants, and his bowtie, and honestly this guy was trying way too hard to get a color, geez.

But what struck Roman the most was his eyes. They were glowing brightly, like how Virgil's were when he entered the ring. They were also filled entirely by color, no pupils or irises. And finally!

They were orange. Just like Logan.

Bingo.

Logan is being movie-magic mind-controlled by a malevolent mystery man! Roman had to stop it, but how? As far as he could tell, the boxing ring ended in an infinite void, stretching on forever.

Though, if Patton could jump out of the ring without being hurt, then Roman could too!

Roman was going to forfeit.

He ran over to the ropes and flung himself out of the ring. He kept falling for a few seconds, which scared him, but then he landed on solid ground. He was in a server room. That's what it looked like at least. Only one of the servers was on, and it was labeled 'boxing match w/ Roman prank.'

Underneath it read 'Remus, don't touch!!!'

What? A prank? But it's not even April! And how does that excuse Patton clobbering him? Though, come to think of it, Patton didn't hurt Roman, not intentionally anyway... And a hug as a finisher? Yeah okay that's Patton. But... Really?

"They did all of this for me?"

Roman couldn't believe it. What did he do to deserve this? Logan's emotions were being sidetracked and Roman was the one who got to be happy? It wasn't fair! Logan should get to have fun, not him! Roman had plenty of good moments, he didn't need more. And now Logan was being manipulated against his will by an ominous figure in the shadows of his own prank.

Roman felt terrible.

He marched into the room off to the side of the server room and found... Another server room. There was only one server this time, and it was labeled 'viewing booth 4 Roman prank.'

Underneath it read 'Remus, do touch!!!' with a smiley face next to it.

Roman pressed the ominous, big, red button, that one should never press, and he was suddenly falling again. When he landed, he was in the viewing booth. Right next to mystery man.

He looked really punchable.

Roman winded up his punch and swung. It hit the mystery man square in the jaw. His mask fell off his face and shattered, and his eyes closed when he flinched. He didn't flinch for very long after the blow, but it was just enough.

Logan dropped Virgil. His smile was gone instantly, and his face smoothed over into a mortified look of confusion and concern that would be comical on Logan if not for the moments just prior. He backed up quickly, uttering apologies, and then he tripped over Patton's body. He was dumbfounded for a few seconds before he realized what had happened.

Logan started sobbing.

Without his glasses on his face, he looked just like Roman. They all did, in fact, share the same face, but Roman wanted to say he looked better than Logan just because he didn't wear glasses.

But without his glasses, Logan looked exactly like Roman, and it made Roman even more upset when he saw what was behind those glasses. Not just the sadness and tears and confusion, but real, honest emotion.

Behind the glasses was the real Logan.

The one with hurt feelings when the others kicked him around. The one who was always the butt of the joke, never laughing with everyone else for fear of losing their respect. The one who acted abrasive and uncaring to convey that he felt nothing.

At first, he built up his persona as teacher so he could gain everyone's attention, and when it didn't work, he hid away his emotions to show that he was unaffected; okay.

If Logan wasn't okay, he would be wrong.

Logan was never wrong.

The real Logan was a nerdy guy who liked sci-fi tv shows and poetry. He was the one who would correct you without fail, not because he wanted to make fun of you, but because he couldn't stand to see an injustice in knowledge. He was the one who would shed light on the truth instead of affirming your 'cognitive distortions.' He was the one that ate a lot of Crofters because he really enjoyed it, so much so that he spawned a sponsor deal out of it. He was the one that would be there to listen, even if he didn't have anything to say in return. He was the one who liked robots and space and astronomy and all those nerdy things. He was the one who would be wearing his unicorn onesie and pencil skirt and Frankenstein's monster costume because he wanted to. He was the one who would only sing because of fruit persevere. He was the one who gave Roman a crisp twenty dollar bill with his face on it because he thought it would be better than anything he could give him, and he only wanted the best for Roman. He was the one who secretly enjoyed dad jokes with Patton when no one was around. He was the one who went on rants about blood diamonds and snakes eating themselves and paradoxes and philosophy. He was the one who beat Roman in a rap battle. He was the one who took everything literally. He was the one who would clear up communication for everyone in a discussion to avoid confusion. He was the one who made intricate vocab cards for derogatory slang words he didn't understand. He was the one who yelled 'falsehood' whenever someone lied about something. He was the one who enjoyed vetal mik- viking metal. He was the one who wanted to start a book club, and when that didn't work, he wanted Thomas to start a book club. He was the one who always stood up for Virgil before he was accepted, same with the other dark sides. He was the one who talked too much about everything, and he was proud of it.

He was the one who should have been laughing with the rest of the sides, not hiding his feelings for fear of being hurt by the his closest friends. He deserved none of this, Roman was sure. They had their disagreements before, but now it was time to stop all that. Logan needed to be saved.

And if Roman could be Thomas' hero, he could be Logan's hero as well.

The mystery man looked up at Roman with surprise and anger on his face. He seemed like the kind of prick who would hurt someone as lovable as Logan. Arrogant, rude, dangerous, and Roman had just met this guy! He could be the sweetest person you'll ever meet, and Roman would still beat the pants off of him for what he did. The mystery man cleared his throat, and Roman threw another punch straight into his gut. Again, the mystery man went stumbling back, before someone caught him.

Remus.

"Ro, I thought you were taught not to punch strangers in the gut!" Remus cackled at him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you and Janus left." Roman was furious.

"Well, he was always so squeamish; he was told to leave. But I've never shied away from the juicy stuff in boxing! And this fellow here said he was gonna put on a show! So I stayed."

"You can't be serious! You've been working with this guy to get Logan all mopey so he can control his cranium? You really are the worst! And I thought you worked alone?" Roman huffed

"Well, there are some things I can't do! I'm not a miracle worker..." Remus pouted.

"No one ever said you were. You're the exact opposite of a miracle worker!" Roman went to punch the mystery man again, but Remus pushed him out of the way in favor of catching his twin's fist in his own.

"Oh, well, I tried, but miracles never got me closer to dear old Thomathy. Especially not when the spotlight was being held by a pompous fool gallivanting around as his savior. I mean, good and bad ideas? Those don't EXIST!" Remus swung his fist at Roman's head, but Roman was faster. He ducked under the punch and landed an uppercut directly into Remus' jaw. Remus hissed in pain, reeling backwards from the blow.

Then mystery man was glowing again.

"Stop that, you fiend! Logan doesn't deserve this! He's not a puppet!" Roman tried shoving past Remus, but he was unsuccessful.

"He does! Logan's been holding in those pesky emotions for years! Doesn't he deserve to let it out? And what better way than a fight! Talking never got anything through your thick skulls, so maybe actions will speak louder than words!"

"This isn't healthy, he's just going to feel worse! Stop laughing, you're n- shut up, Remus!" Roman tried to kick Remus in the leg, but he met Roman's leg with his own, and now they were crossed. It became a staring contest.

"Since when do you know what's healthy and what's not? Last time I checked you were still bruised in the "ego" after Thomas got arrested and Janus got accepted!" Remus was grinning.

"Wha- Thomas wasn't arrested! He went to court, and that wasn't real, that was just a way for Janus to try and play lawyer!" Roman shoved his hand over Remus' mouth. Remus bit him.

"Who cares about that, we're talking about you! Logan's not the only neglected soul around here, because Thomas must come first and that means no time for us! I've been making him think about really messed up stuff for years! If we scare him enough, maybe he'll listen, and then we will all be free from all this bull-"

"Shut up!" Roman kicked Remus in the stomach while knocking their still locked legs apart. Remus went stumbling down, and Roman charged into the mystery man while he still had the chance. And he blinked again, sparing Logan a few more seconds of peace. Then, Remus tackled Roman from behind and started pulling his hair. So much for the rules.

Roman threw himself backwards and landed on Remus, then he threw his head back to headbutt Remus over and over until he let go of his hair to catch his head. Afterwards, Roman grabbed Remus' legs and pushed them away. Then, he sat up and flipped onto his hands and knees so he could repeatedly punch Remus in the face.

Once Remus' teeth were falling out and blood was staining his already red face, Roman jumped up to hit the mystery man once more, only to find none other than Janus standing there. He looked terrified, like he'd seen a mongoose or a decent human acting like a decent human.

"What the hell is going on!?" Janus shouted.

Everyone in the room paused, except for Remus.

"We're playing 'ruin Logan's life by hurting Remus and his friend!' Wanna join?" Remus spat blood and teeth as he spoke, and then kicked Roman's back, knocking him to his knees.

"And who the hell are you!?" Janus turned to mystery man. He silently judged his intentions. And sense of fashion.

"I'm... not going to tell you. But I was needed in this situation, it seems." He looked up at Remus. "I hear Logan's letting up the facade, and that needs to end. Now." The mystery man growled.

"Exactly- Wait, what!? You said you'd help Lolo feel better! You lying bastard, you're better than my buddy Janus!" Remus grinned. He had the mystery man by the hands, and he looked like he was about to propose, but then Remus kicked him in the nuts. It was the most satisfying thing Roman had ever seen, mystery man doubled over, hissing in pain. If he could watch that one moment on loop, he would. Forever.

But Roman couldn't do that, he had to make sure Logan was okay! Remus and Janus had the mystery man problem covered, so Roman ran to the viewing booth window to make sure Logan wasn't white-knuckling Virgil's throat.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Logan felt terrible.

The last thing he remembers is staring up at Virgil while he was choking Roman. The rest was blurry, and something ever-present at the back of his mind told him not to try and recall it, so he didn't. He just thought about present.

Currently, he was holding Virgil by his hoodie, and Virgil was crying. He dropped Virgil, because he looked really scared and because Logan had no reason to be violent towards him. Or did he?

Logan couldn't recall.

He decides that, no, Virgil doesn't deserve to be hurt, and even if he did, now is obviously not a good time. Logan began apologizing to Virgil, but he was rushing over his words and panicking.

That's unusual.

If Logan had a better grasp on the situation currently, and on moments prior, he might have better understood why he or Virgil were upset. But sadly, he didn't have this information, so he continued to back away from Virgil to avoid crowding him, and muttered apologetically.

Logan then tripped over something on the mat, which was even more unusual considering he designed this mat to be as smooth as it possibly could be. The fact that things were going wrong with Roman's prank was annoying because Logan was the one who set it all up to begin with.

Logan looked down to see what he tripped over, and nearly gagged.

He had fallen on top of Patton. And Patton was crying. And his shoulder was dislocated. How the hell did this happen? Logan didn't understand what was happening, but it clearly wasn't in the script that Virgil made for the prank. Maybe Roman messed something up? But, no- Where was Roman? Logan tried to look around, but he felt himself shaking, and his vision was blurry.

He was crying.

Oh. That's not good. If the others see him, they'll say he was wrong again, and he doesn't want a repeat of last time. Seriously, whose idea was it to call something that was really really small 'Infinitesimal?' Infinite means forever and vast, and small things don't go on forever. He learned that truth when he tried to start his book club.

Logan locked eyes with Patton. It made his stomach sink when he saw Patton's teary eyes stare into his. Logan wanted to tell him a fact about cats, because he liked that, so he did.

"P-Patton, did you know that the Falidae species, that is, the cat species, is divided by wh-whether or not they can roar? Cats that purr cannot roar, and vice versa, and so that is what separates lions and mountain lions. The two subdivision of cat are Felinae, purring c-cats, and Pantherinae, roaring cats... The easiest was to discern whether a cat is domesticated or not is to listen to the noise their larynx makes..." And Logan went on and on about cats. He described in great detail the different ways to tell if a cat was domestic or not. And no one stopped him.

He blacked out again, but only for a moment.

When he regained consciousness, he was back on his feet, standing a few steps away from Virgil, who was yet again cowering. Logan crossed the distance between them and crouched next to him. He started instructing Virgil on how to use his 4-7-8 breathing pattern, the same way that Virgil did with Thomas.

Virgil would eventually calm down, and Logan would be there to help him.

Sometime between blacking out and calming Virgil down, Patton had gotten to his feet. He was sitting with Virgil now, just resting next to him. It was to bring him comfort, though Logan was just as happy seeing a giant buff Patton sit down next to the thin, scrappy looking Virgil.

Patton wasn't actually this buff, or tall, but Virgil said it would be funny to watch Roman get 'obliterated' by him, and Logan made it work as best he could have. Patton looked incredible.

In Logan's opinion anyway... And Logan did always have strong opinions on things.

Virgil started breathing with Logan, and he was finally calmed down. Logan stood up and walked over to the edge of the ring to see if he could find Roman. He blacked out again, but soon he was awake on the ground, staring at the ceiling.

It was rather annoying, blacking out so much. If Logan could just figure out why...

Patton was peering at Logan from above. He had a hint of amusement in his eyes, but he also looked uncomfortable. Logan smiled up at him.

Patton was so kind, even if he wasn't great at listening to Logan, or his ideas. He cared about Logan's feelings, even if Logan himself denied they were real. Patton neglected his own emotions to make sure everyone else was okay.

That sinking feeling in his chest whenever Patton was hiding his feelings was sickening, and so Logan tried his best to help Patton without embarrassing him. If Logan drew attention to the fact that Patton was upset, Patton would feel like he was burdening everyone, and that would get them nowhere.

Patton offered a hand to Logan, which he happily accepted. Once back on his feet, he was pulled into a hug, similar to the one he was given before, only with less spine-crushing strength.

Eventually, Roman and Virgil were also hugging him, and Logan felt that sinking feeling in his stomach again. Roman was checking for injuries, and Virgil looked terrified. He made a grab for Logan's face, and Logan then realized his nose was broken. Oh well. He could fix that later.

He could spare a few more minutes for hugging.

After plenty of hugging (and crying), they all returned to Thomas' living room to recover from their injuries and feel better about whatever had just happened. Remus and Janus appeared sometime later, both holding shards of an ornate mask that made Roman uncomfortable. Logan had never seen it before, but it also gave him a sense of underlying dread.

Soon, it was just Logan and Patton relaxing on the couch while everyone else discussed something "urgent." They told him not to worry, and Logan never did, but he did feel slightly uncomfortable about all the "what-ifs" of the situation, and that Remus was in the discussion.

He fell asleep next to a short, slightly-less buff Patton while watching National Geographic.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Things returned to normal after a few days, though Roman was acting suspicious during their debates with Thomas. Not once did he speak over Logan or shut down any of his ideas.

The others must have noticed too, because he was talking to Logan the next day.

"Hey, nerdy wolverine..." Roman entered the living room with his hands folded in front of him.

"Hello, Roman." Logan was sat on his armchair, reading a book about medical conditions, specifically blackouts and fainting.

"I wanted to tell you... Or, help you... Uhm, I wanted to let you know that, uh... Ya know..." Roman studdered over his words frantically.

"Are you alright, Roman?" Logan cut in.

"YE-EAH! I-I am perfectly fine; peachy... Just..."

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, slotting a bookmark into his research for later.

"It's just... You know I care about you, right?"

That's not what Logan was expecting.

"Yes, I understand that you care about me and my existence, same as everyone else." Logan hoped that would be the end of it.

"No! I care about you, Logan! And that means... Everything that you love, and hate, and discuss... I care about everything you do... Because I care about you. I-I'm not sure you know what it means to love someone, but-" Logan cut him off.

"Roman, I can assure you, you do not love me."

"But I do! Uh, platonically... Just, I don't just need you around because Thomas does... I need you around because you're smart... And I'm in way over my head..." Roman eyed Logan pleadingly.

"I... I did not know this. I apologize for the misunderstanding..." Logan turned red.

"Don't worry about it, teach. We... Well, okay, we all care about what you have to say... You just talk too much. It's exhausting... And you use these... big words, you're like a walking Thesaurus."

"Thesaurus' cannot walk." Logan deadpanned.

Roman started laughing.

"I know that! And I know that you understand metaphors so don't-"

"That was a simile." Logan cut in with a smirk.

"You dork! Stop playing with me!" Roman couldn't stop laughing at the humorous remark. Logan was smiling at his successful jest.

-—-—-—-—-—-��-—-—-—-—-—-

As time went on, Logan noticed himself talking more and more, for longer and longer. Everyone listened to him, it was a little uncanny, but he liked the attention. He even got to create his book club, though the only members were Janus, Virgil and Roman. It was a start.

And Logan stopped passing out.

He stopped blacking out on his bedroom floor and waking up with his hand on the door. He stopped fainting after their debates and ending up on his desk, face down, with new piles of slam poetry surrounding him. He noticed he was less upset, and his cantankerous nature was replaced with kindness and open-minded discussions.

His friends got rid of the broken mask.

And after a while, Logan felt safe.

Logan felt free.

The End <3

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Have a great day, folks!

Roman: Wake up, I'm bored.

Virgil:

Roman: *pokes Virgil* C'mon, wake up. *pokes him again*

Virgil, sitting up and rubbing his eyes: Bad decision, Princey.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #orange side #this fic turned out to be insane #whoops!

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years ago

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Lysitheas mentality is very much about doing the best with the time she has and not letting herself be limited by her traumatic experience despite the toll it took on her health. All she wants is to provide for her parents and she never once blames the Church for what happened to her in canon. Captain is just butchering every single character and uses their corpses as mouthpieces for his headcanons. I dont understand how you can manage reading this, I can barely get through you notes.

A lot of the times I don't even really like calling them headcanons really - that implies that it can be congruent with the canon work. So often we see ideas Cap'n spits out that flat out go against canon, so at the most generous they'd be parts of an AU more than they'd be headcanons.

Like, for example, Byleth losing their humanity in SS is flat out wrong. Period. That is explicitly not what happens in that route. They're worried about Rhea and are happy to find her alive - from just that alone, that's not how someone "without humanity" behaves. Cap'n saying that that is what happens to Byleth, even as a headcanon, would be wrong, since the idea is actively shot down by canon. Same as Byleth "neutrally drifting" to the Church's side being the reason why they side with them and not Edelgard. Again, that's not what happens - just because the default for the player is SS doesn't mean that it's not Byleth as a character deciding to stand against Edelgard and side with Rhea. This one at least has the problem of "is Byleth an avatar or a character" muddying the waters, but hell, even with that mud, when you have the choice, you can still actively choose SS. The headcanon is still wrong.

Like... it's like saying "Sylvain was never really abused by Miklan, he's just lying about Miklan to make himself look like a victim to manipulate people," as an off-the-cuff example of something similar to get my point across. That's how incorrect some of these "headcanons" of Cap'n's are. It's flat out wrong and only serves to severely mischaracterize a character for XYZ reason. It doesn't even qualify as a headcanon - it's just mindless character bashing.

Reading through it is... something lmao. Not even just the mischaracterization, but like. The fic itself is just of such low quality, on as objective a level as writing is allowed.

Below the cut since it got long lmao

The prose is just so much to read through - the majority of it is just Edelgard feeling sadge about how horrible her life is and how everyone hates her and how she's so ugly and how she's so lonely, but there’s rarely anything of real substance. Her thoughts are rarely about her actually doing anything, and the rare times that they are ("I'm gonna help Jeralt, and this is how I'll do it") they rarely amount to her actually doing something (she doesn't actually do much to save Jeralt). It goes around in circles without there being much actual progression in any regard, repeating information that reader already knew and has known for a while.

Her actions are acknowledged as something that she knowingly and willfully chose to do, until they make her too mean, and then she was "outmaneuvered" and she "didn't know what TWS were doing." Then the fic pretends that it didn't sweep Edelgard's agency out the door and that Edelgard totally grew as a person, even though she tossed all accountability in the trash and proved that she has improved 0% as a character. It never has Edelgard take a step back and realize "huh, wait, maybe I wasn't betrayed by my friends, maybe I wasn't left behind and maybe I left my friends behind through my actions" - it's just a half-hearted "I'll do better!" without actually doing better (she stopped using Demonic Beasts - in this fic - but she's still working with TWS, which is the core problem but is something she just handwaves away). Same with Kronya - she's willfully mean, she's actively despicable, until those actions make her too mean, then she "didn't know what she was doing was even wrong," she's "almost an innocent."

Epithets. Ohhhh my god, the epithets. Cap'n wants to make a distinct difference between Edelgard being the Flame Emperor and Edelgard being El, which ey, neat idea! Playing around with identity is interesting! But not when you can't be consistent - that's when things get needlessly convoluted and annoying. Flame Emperor = Edelgard doing bad meanie mean stuff - except she calls herself that casually all the time. El is slightly more consistent (more innocent, nicer, etc.), but then you have Edelgard referring to herself as a "girl" - that thing that El is, not Edelgard - constantly. Flame Emperor is a shell of dogma and ideologies that protects the inner core of Edelgard, which is... El. And Edelgard. But Edelgard and El are two separate identities. Until they aren't. And then the Flame Emperor is just another epithet referring to Edelgard, not a shell. Until it is again. And then the question "wait, so is Edelgard both El and the Flame Emperor, similar to how Dimitri is both a "boar" and a prince? Is Edelgard still El deep down, and the Flame Emperor nothing of Edelgard's true self? Is Edelgard a separate, third identity with her own characteristics that differ from El or the Flame Emperor? What exactly is going on?” Like, this image I showed my sis sums up why this is so confusing:

Back to back, the Flame Emperor is used as a shell hiding the true Edelgard (as in, not the true Edelgard, but a tool she is using to hide her true self) and also just another way to refer to Edelgard, the same as saying "the young woman." Not only is it poor form to use the same epithet immediately following each other, but now the Flame Emperor's role in Edelgard’s identity is unclear.

This isn't even getting into how confusing it can be to a reader to constantly use epithets, even without the identity crisis angle Cap'n wants to go down, especially constantly using different epithets for one person. Waaay back when I first took a peak at Chapter 52 when that was the most recent chapter, the passages I looked at had Edelgard and Hanneman speak with each other. Edelgard was called the Emperor of Adrestia and the Flame Emperor. Hanneman is called the man, the scholar, and the academic. In snippets of one scene. With two people in it. And there are five different epithets between them. And they're used a good bit too. I've legit never came across something that uses so many epithets to refer to the same person - because remember, this is just one scene. That chapter as a whole, skimming through it, also has Edelgard be called Emperor, Emperor of Adrestia, and the Flame Emperor - oh boy, just what I wanted, three different versions of calling Edelgard an emperor! Two of which are constantly said in one chapter! Because that’s not repetitive at all! And this is what happens to pretty much all of the characters - can’t just say their name or a pronoun, nope, just slap on a title for that person. You have to keep track of every single epithet that applies to every single character, and every single character has so many epithets.

Character arcs are dropped immediately upon arrival all the time, or aren't focused on at all. Ferdinand, for the former, is presented with the horrifying realization that his father - and most of the notable nobility of Adrestia - have been involved with torturing children, and he's understandably distraught by it - until he instantly gets over it after one pep talk from his romantic love interest. Ingrid, for the latter, has had her whole "but do I really wanna be a knight tho" shit brought up often enough, but it's never really been developed much at all. There's no gradual change in Ingrid's beliefs, it's just "I believe this, then you tried to kill me and now I'm considering changing my lifelong dreams to conform to what you told me after not really budging on the idea."

Not showing a lick of the SS timeline but just saying that there was totally development in and between the characters (before the post ts portions hit that timeline) that gets transferred over to the CF timeline is just lazy writing. Period. It barely even qualifies as the "tell, don't show" misstep, since it's not even the text itself that's telling the reader this, but the author himself imposing Word of God to try and justify his poor writing decisions. How are we supposed to genuinely feel invested in Edelgard and Byleth’s relationship if the actual beginning of it - the one they had in the SS timeline - is never shown? That beginning which is crucial in the reader’s understanding of why their relationship seems to speedrun past any actual development? We’re given the sequel of a story, told the first installment was very super duper mega important to how the sequel goes about its story, and then never given the first installment. We have no context, we have no buildup, we have nothing, but we’re supposed to just accept that their relationship was so good until it just wasn’t.

And speaking of - Edelgard and Byleth’s love story makes no sense. Okay, so we’ve accepted the idea that CF’s romance is going better because of a residual connection the two of them formed during the SS timeline being so strong as to withstand the forces of time. If that is the case... why did Byleth kill Edelgard? Why did she side against her? What stopped her from saying “nope, I changed my mind, I am siding with my fave student ever”? Why did she agree to be the one to kill Edelgard? Sure, with this fic’s version of Edelgard that lacks even the knowledge of what agency is, you can maybe argue the case for her not trying to fix anything with the two of them (she’d probably Sadge and then do nothing to help herself, as she has been doing the entire fic), but what’s Byleth’s justification? Why’d she just go along with killing her lover? Why didn’t she just... not? Do that? Again, we just have to accept that Edelgard and Byleth were “unfairly torn apart by fate” when everything points to the two of them as individuals not caring enough about their relationship to try and amend anything. And remember, this is the critical component of this fic. Edelgard and Byleth’s love story is arguably the most important thing about this fic, being connected to most things Edelgard and Byleth do in the story, but their “love story” is flimsy, needlessly complicated, weak, and, for the most important parts of it, entirely hidden from the reader. This is the crux of the fic’s emotional investment, and yet we’re never given anything solid to anchor said emotional investment with.

These are the actual writing writing flaws - as in, even as its own separate work, the fic fails - I can think of the fic commits at the moment, when ignoring all the problematic aspects within the fic that I’ve talked about before. TEatG is an interesting read partially because there’s just so much wrong with it, both as a fanfiction of a media and as its own literary work. It really is like Twilight, in that something this objectively bad managed to become so popular and influential, (though obviously, this fic doesn’t have as wide an influence as Twilight, but the idea’s the same). So in that regard, it’s neat to look at the fic and point out exactly what is wrong with it. As much as this fic is grating it’s been a ride as well lmao

#ask #anon #exqueuese me princess #o captain my captain #sorry that this answer got a little long lmao but yeah #there could be more wrong with this fic from a writing standpoint but this is long enough already lmao

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