#i thought he was talking abt callum

[ol1verdrawsyt]

CALLUM'S THOUGHTS ON DA DIALTOWN DLC!!!!!

major spoilers under the cut!!! if you haven't played the dlc n don't wanna be spoiled, then don't read this lol

OK SO FIRST THINGS FIRST, THE SPRITES ARE INCREDIBLE! I love how Roger carries his stupid lil briefcase around with him everywhere. Roger is so autistic coded and nobody can take that away from me. Also this route made me love Rogergingi more than I already did so :P

Peter is the guy ever. I love that despite how grumpy he is, he genuinely does care about Roger and wants to see him succeed. Also I wanna see what his wife looks like cuz he mentions her a lot. May or may not have a design for her but yk.....

JOEEEEEEE ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️i love him so much im actually screaming, i missed him so much. he was one of my favorite characters from the franchise we do not speak of and I'm so glad I can love him again w/o it being associated with that!!!

I got all the endings, with my 2 favorites being the good ending and the good ending and the one where the green civilian shows up

IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY THAT THE GREEN CIVILIAN HAS A NAME NOW BUT I AM. NOT CALLING HIM THAT!!!!!!!

The good ending was so fucking sweet, dude. The music being a quiet, calm version of the funfair literally made me cry, and then Roger showed up and he went with Gingi and UGHHGSJDFKDSF

with that being said, I'm a lil confused about Peter in the good ending?? Why was he suddenly like "HHAHA I TRICKED YOU TO TAKE OVER THE FACTORY!!!"???? I didn't see it coming at all, and it's not like a good twist imo. It feels so out of nowhere. Peter is Roger's best friend, the whole thing was wanting his friend to succeed, why did he suddenly switch to some 'master manipulator' who' tricked Roger into handing the plant over to him'? Idk if I'm just bad at processing things and I missed something, but I'm so confused abt that

but other than that THE GOOD ENDING MADE ME UGLY SOB, ROGER DESERVES EVERYTHING. Coming from someone with experience with that shit, Roger is such a good rep of how constant berating and basically verbal abuse hurts someone and changes how you think and act. ALSO HIS TALK WITH GINGI. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I LOVE GINGI DEPTH. I LOVE WHEN THEY SHOW EMOTIONS THAT ARENT PRIMAL RAGE AND HORNY. I LOVE WHEN MCs ARE GIVEN MOMENTS LIKE THIS THAT SHOWS THEM BEING VUNERABLE!!!!!!

gingi n roger have so much in common and i can't wait 4 the fanfics

also the evil endings.... holy shit dude. Those were fucking awful to get, i felt like such a pos for having to do that. I do love evil gingi in the mingling tho

THE CALLUM HINTS???? HOLY FUCKING SHIT??? MORE GINGI = CALLUM CONFIRMATION??? I CALLED IT??? I love the callum images that show up, hes so goober shaped and i need 2 make those my discord pfp

NATHAN HANOVER IS THE BEST. THE NEW OST IS SO GOOD AND I NEED IT RELEASED NOW SO I CAN LISTEN TO IT ON LOOP FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR SO

SIDE NOTES THAT IDK HOW TO CATAGoARIZE:

i love all the bg characters introduced!! fabron n omair are so rad :D

the bgs are rlly cool

i love gingi waving shit aroudn

GINGI STIMMING CONFIRMATION????

roger and peter are the besties ever

the new randy sprites were rlly cute hes so cringefail boyloser

OLIVER MY BELOVED FREAK

yorik...

its actually tragic that norm didnt appear

bunny n abel fighting!!!!!

but most importantly

GABBY!!!! GABBY MY BELOVED!!!! IM HER N1 FAN!!!!! I SCREAMED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP!!! I WISH SHE WAS IN EVERY SCENE AND GOT HER OWN ROUTE AND WAS THE MAIN CHARACTER AND

[self-spaghettification]

rb as this is my pinned post, (despite rebrand) here’s a

preface to my blog

hellooo i’m riley :) they/he, young adult, adhd, pan+nb, & my side / general stuff blog is @freefloatingtemporally , dm for nsfw tdp acct

i moved over to twitter in early july !!

@viiravos : art, writing

other stuff:

top posts, aaravos masterlist & my meta list

fic recs

april fools rayllum shipper bit

go here to view the site with the theme as intended :)

this blog is primarily sfw besides cussing i believe!

My page WILL have TDP spoilers and they WILL NOT always be tagged (bc I don’t catch everything/don’t have the time for that tbh) additionally i will be posting tdp criticism sometimes, post s6, but it also will usually be tagged

about me

eensy teensy op lore rant: i am a programmer but i also have a variety of hobbies and bounce between them like a ping pong ball. im adhd, nonbinary, pansexual, and ace-spectrum. my username came from this, i’m not too shy about sharing info about myself. and i’ve been in fandom & drawing since 2016 :)

you can learn more about me here

i also took ap lang and lit in hs so like? analysis credentials ish hwejrwehrwejr lmfao

i’ve been in the fandom since may 2023, although i’ve been casually watching the show since season 1 came out.

i’ve only watched the show like 3 times total except for, mainly, the aaravos scenes (look don’t @ me HFJSKJFDSK) or for screencap reasons aaand i haven’t read through much of the bonus content </3 [puzzle house, tox, etc…. though i believe i do know most of the important bits :) ]

i'm kinda lazy and am a slow reader buuut i do like making fic, meta, code, art, uhh probably whatever you can think of i'm down to make it. actually, i'm not super familiar with 3d art. so. not that. rip

my fav characters are aaravos, viren, terry, claudia, and callum, and crow master (tho every character has their merits) —tier list

i generally do not take interest in ships outside of viravos & kimditi, except in specific contexts: ie, the relationship dynamic affecting how characters will be manipulated

i also made a guide on what i've learned about tumblr so far if you're interested!

boundaries:

be an interesting person worth talking to I guess

I don’t like Leola and try my best to forget much of season 6 happened so—discussion and new perspectives are great, but please don’t come into my askbox only saying how good it was or feeling sad about Leola or Aaravos. Expect a short response if you do 😭

not a pro or an anti but a secret third thing i don’t like incest, underage, aged up, or noncon, so you won't see any of that on this page, but —everyone deserves a safe space to do what they want if it’s not harming anyone 👍 also depending on how u look at it like viravos is a weird ship for age differences, dubcon depending and all that too so yeahhh :) —>

i try to operate on a don’t like, keep scrolling, basis: outside of people with the same stance, the occasional salt and sometimes being a hater in a lighthearted way (or i hope that’s how it comes across), i kinda keep my opinions to myself. but if someone is bothering me for what i post, i'll hear you out but i'll defend myself. + if we’re mutuals / interact a lot and something i did made u uncomfortable or upset, please let me know! Feedback is important-it’s the only way people can grow and change. At least, if it’s considered.

i'm picky with blocking ppl. generally, it's fine to disagree with me about things. even if certain things bother me abt someone in fandom as long as we can still connect over something else it's usually not a deal breaker by any means. i favor blacklisting content and tags.

i will take writing/art/analysis requests

feel free to tag me in things, tag games, send posts/asks, or dm me! i take a sec to get back sometimes but i always try to anyway!

i’m fine with tdp crit, and i sometimes have my own (but it will always be tagged dw) ! + i kinda yap alot

co-creator of the aaravos cult discord B)

It’s tiny and while I’d say u gotta like aaravos generally please don’t ask to join if I/someone there doesn’t even know you, yk, is mutuals/friends with you!! that’s about it

find me here!!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/self_spaghettification Twitter: https://twitter.com/viiravos Tiktok: https://tiktok.com/@viiravos Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/viiravos C.AI: Aaravos Bot (39k chats) ->my thoughts on AI usage Discord: freefloatingtemporally

tagging system

all of my original posts are under the tag #self-spaghettification if you’d like to see what i think without scrolling thru rbs! (not all my thoughts are bangers. but hey, they’re there!)

i also very much enjoy organization so i tag everything i rb, so anything related to aaravos will be under #aaravos, any tdp theory will be under #tdp theory, and so on :)

analysis tags: tdp meta, tdp analysis, tdp theory, tdp speculation, tdp parallels, tdp s5 speculation, tdp s6 speculation

Foil/ non-shipping-relationship tags:

Claudia & Aaravos: starlight

Callum & Aaravos: caallum, keys

Misc: parallels

other big tags: #my art, #my writing, #my edit (s) my #aaravos playlist! #tdp poll ,,

stuff not always under my main tag: #q&a , #tag game & then general shit that is like #riley rambles and #spaghetti salt

i do have tdp s6 spoilers / leaks but they’re all tagged. if something’s not initially tagged it will be eventually

have a nice scroll! ❤️

new banner because these fuckers wont leave my brain and they don’t pay rent >:(

[1-800-scaryphone]

also on the note of crossovers i have more thought on the d.esu one i mentioned the other day (im so sorry skhfjdh)

i'm gonna go over both games bc the first one has some vibes to it too but here we go!

ok so the gist of BOTH games is that the world is in the midst of an apocalypse (both of which are caused by demons), and the only hope of salvation for humanity is to kinda "reboot" the world. in devil s.urvivor 1, it's very heavy on religious themes, and not only can you become godly and save the world THAT way, but you can defy god and literally become a demon king. it's a good game.

in the second game, you literally reboot the world however you see fit, which - in-game - separates your party into several "alignments," because none of them can agree on how they want the new world to be.

so! i kinda wanna talk abt where d.ialtown characters would fall on these alignments, since i just think it's Inchresting. i really wish there was a quiz or something for this. maybe i'll make one someday

D.ESU1

the first game has several alignments, divided into the holy, unholy, and three OTHER solutions to save the world that don't involve the protagonist literally becoming a saint or demon.

Kingdom of Saints

just like it sounds, this is the "holy" ending, where you use the power you've accrued throughout the game to become a saint/godly figure who can control the demons and send em back from whence they came.

i feel like it goes without saying that norm would encourage this route. i also think it'd be really funny if this was a "d.ietown" scenario, so gingi going through all these steps while assuming god is dead only to literally BECOME a godly figure (and probably meet god and have him be like "what the FUCK happened") is really funny. also, obviously, were callum in gingi's position, this would be the route he'd go for. that god complex i s2g

karen might also be part of this one just bc she is SUCH a warlord against demons in d.ietown

King of Demons

the "unholy" ending, in which you use the power you've accrued to rule over the demons...as a fellow demon.

the protagonist in d.esu1 has his cousin encourage him to go this route, but i think gingi could fully go this way on their own, considering that they're literally a demon in d.ietown. i also like to think that stabby and shooty would be part of this route, since, yknow, demons. they'd probably try to get gingi to make them their demonic underlings so they could be super powerful.

Desperate Escape

in this ending, you literally just escape the city (which has been barricaded so that no demons escape) and put the whole world in jeopardy iirc.

selfish as they are, this is definitely something gingi would do. depending on the scenario, i think randy might be the one to encourage this ending too, since he is just cowardly enough to do it.

Silent Revolution

in this ending, the protagonist is able to pacify the demons by using their accrued power, and the world as a whole uses demons and their power to advance modern society. in order to do all of that, they also need to "hack the planet," etc etc.

i can say, without a doubt, this would be oliver's route of choice. a way to solve the problem without changing yourself, and a way that uses his technical know-how, at that.

Song of Hope

in this ending, the protagonist is able to drive off the demons by using music (in a complicated way i won't get into rn).

hilariously enough, i think this would probably be a route that you get into with nathan h.anover, because "music"...

D.ESU 2

the original alignments i wanted to make this post about. god this is so fun to think about.

Meritocracy

a world in which the strong eat the weak, basically. you have to work to prove yourself to the powers that be, and if you aren't strong enough, you fuckin DIE. the world is ruled by those who are stronger, better, etc, and the people who "deserve it" thrive.

imo, this sounds like EXACTLY the sort of society mingus would try to build.

Egalitarian

an "equal" society; everyone is treated equally, given an equal share, has equal talents. peaceful to its core.

despite all the shit i give callum, this would be the society he would back. remember: the dial-up was supposed to HELP. he was so passionate about it because he wanted to help society thrive, to help those who had been disabled, just like him. despite all the "bad" that came out of it, he had GOOD intentions.

Restoration

bring the world back to the way it was before, before the apocalypse ever happened...though there is no guarantee it won't happen AGAIN.

with this also sort of being the "coward's way out" (i'm so sorry d.aichi i love you), reverting to a time that might inevitably doom the world all over again, i feel like this would be a randy route.

Liberation

free humanity as a whole from the looming threat of the septentriones (the entities/aliens/what have you that are currently attacking the world and throwing it into an apocalypse), and from the possibility that the "end" will come again. humanity is free, albeit at the cost of how FUCKED the world became during the apocalypse.

a norm route to its core. fight for your freedom and prove humanity's worth. i could also see oliver backing him on this one (boys gettin on!)

A Brand New World

hey, so what if we said "fuck the septentriones" and ALSO gave ourselves a whole new world to work with? humanity gets to be free, and it also gets to thrive on an earth that isn't completely dead. sounds nice.

this is a sort of "unlockable" route in-game, but i can completely see all of the dateables supporting it, so yay! i think it'd be really fucking funny if by some sort of irony, god was the one to propose the idea too. just "fuck it, i'll give you a new planet if you can pull this off"

there's also endings for record breaker but no i won't get into them, i've talked too long akjfkshfs. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[sunsetsover]

Just hopping on the anons last week who said they'd done reading around BPD and Ben etc after reading your posts to say... when Whitney told Ben he makes everything about himself in this week's eps I immediately thought of you! Like lemme explain lmao I remember last year you wrote about how lots of fans said Ben was making everything about him when him and Callum had that argument about the warehouse job in Sept.? And you wrote about how you viewed it and how looking at Ben through a lense of mh goes a different interpretation etc. Idk Whitney saying that just made me recall your thoughts on the fandom saying the same thing lmao.

(although tbh I didn't think Whitney was v fair saying that anyway bc how was he meant to know Callum had witnessed a stabbing etc?? He wasn't making it about himself he was simply worrying about the info he had access to???)

no joke i literally thought the exact same thing after i watched it yesterday. not the post (tho i do remember what you're talking about!) but i was like 'oh ben's behaviour is VERY bpd' like probably the most obvious example we've had since 2019 maybe and then i was like man.... how many people are going to have Bad Takes abt ben's behaviour and how he's 'selfish' and then i was thinking abt what whit said and it reminded me of something i heard once and i've tried to find it but i can't and i'm gutted bc it made so much sense but it was abt how bpd are often viewed as selfish or making everything abt us but we do that bc we literally feel like everything IS because of us/our fault. it's literally a Symptom. like when you're hypersensitive and terrified of everyone abandoning you EVERYTHING feels personal.

like someone's in a bad mood? clearly i have done something to put them in a bad mood. someone doesn't reply? clearly they hate me. you smile at someone in public and they don't smile back? clearly they can sense something is Wrong with me and didn't want to engage. either that or they think i'm hideously ugly. that's the default assumption, that it's somehow something to do with me. not that they're going thru their own shit or that they're busy or tired. and then when we're talking abt someone you're close too, the fear of abandonment comes into play where you either start to push them away bc you're convinced they're gonna leave anyway or frantically do things or change things to help convince them to stay, and both of these can go very extreme. and ofc it's not logical but we can't help it. i'm always saying this to people in my life: i know how i'm feeling/what i'm doing isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but i literally can't help it. it's like the sensible you is locked in the back of your brain forced to witness all of your own bs but they're literally powerless to do anything about it.

which is also why i can understand under the hysteria of your own fear of abandonment and hypersensitivity why ben could convince himself callum was gonna leave him for whitney. like ofc i get why ppl would find that unrealistic and offensive, but i can't NOT see him as bpd, and when you have bpd that fear of abandonment is so so incredibly pervasive that you start thinking things like that and convince yourself that they're real. like you genuinely believe them. and someone of sound mind is like 'that doesn't make any sense, he's gay' but like.... that almost is irrelevant to a certain degree. your own belief that you're so unlovable and that everyone is going to leave you holds SO much weight in your mind, more than even reality itself.

like you could almost compare it to hallucination. reality and logic dictates that it's impossible for there to be a man crawling on the ceiling, but if you can see it and hear it and feel it then ofc you're going to believe it's real. reality and logic become irrelevant bc you KNOW it's there, even though it isn't, u know? it's the same kind of thing: reality says ofc callum isn't gonna propose to whitney when he's married and literally gay, but that all-consuming fear of abandonment is so much louder when it says 'he's lying, he's sneaking around w his ex, he's not talking to you about anything, he's got a ring, ofc he's gonna propose to her, she didn't ask him to quit his job or force him into a position where he had to lie for months, ofc he was gonna leave, he just married you out of pity, this is all your fault, you don't deserve happiness or love bc you're a bad person lmao what did you even expect?' etc u know

if i'm being completely honest if i were in ben's shoes i could EASILY see myself being convinced my gay partner is gonna leave me for their ex of the opposite sex. like worryingly easily. and tbh between that and what was going on with kheerat, i actually think he coped surprisingly well. like i genuinely thought that yesterday that if i was in his situation i probably would have reacted much worse and been in much worse a state than he was. and i'm not just saying that, i think his growth since 2019 is obvious in how tame his reaction to it all was tbh.

i realize probably no one will bother but if anyone really is interested and wants to understand more then u should watch this video. i've timestamped it at the first point bc if nothing else u should listen to that bc it helps explain what i've said in a much better way esp the example abt clearing out the garage but the whole video is really good and i would love for some ppl to watch it. like i know it's half hour and that's a long time and also the interviewer is obnoxious and p insensitive but the doctor herself is really good and explains everything i've been trying to explain in a MUCH better way than i ever could and i think it will really help you understand what it's like to be someone bpd and what it actually means for day to day life

like i realize i've completely gone off on one w this and im sorry but i have opinions and i just want people to understand you know?? not necessarily for ben as a character but for all the ppl out there w bpd bc !!!! no one gives a fuck abt us they just misunderstand us and then do literally nothing to try and understand us when we try to explain ourselves so to have ppl actually engaging in this dialogue w me makes me very excited and i try to explain as much as i can while i have the opportunity u know lmao so i very much appreciate you and getting messages like this thank you 💞💞💞

[foxie-roxie]

why rayllum is a MASTERPIECE part 3

*RUBS MY CLAWS TOGETHER* IT IS SEASON 3 TIME BITCHES AND H O L Y S H I T I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH

i even rewatched it for this!

this time i’ll try to have SOME order, and go by episode. this will however still include unintelligible screaming

1. DAMN THESE FUCKERS BE PINING MORE THAN A PINE TREE FOREST!

first off, affectionate eye rolling, nose boop, and head bonk is the best thing.

second, IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT DURING WHEN CALLUM WAS HELPING RAYLA PUT ON HIS SCARF AND THEY J STARED AT EACHOTHER FOR A BIT BEFORE RAYLA TURNED AWAY THAT HE WAS N O T LOST IN HER EYES? they’re wrong. this is fact now.

third, their teamwork and decision making is excellent. they agree to try and sneak past sol regem, and when that fails try talking to him and then decide to simply trick his senses with the scarf. and instead of rayla shooting down callum’s “smelltriloquism” idea, she simply adds onto it! LOVE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

“i think it’s good luck!” YES IT IS RAY THAT’S UR BOYFRIENDS SCARF

also, here you go. you’re welcome.

2. STILL PINING. GOD DAMN.

first, CALLUM BEING SO EXCITED BY ALL THE MAGIC IN XADIA IS S O CUTE! MY SON. this might turn into an overrall review of s3. o well

second. FLUSTERED RAYLA AND FLUSTERED CALLUM. Y E S

third, THE ADORABURR FIELD! their smiles were so fond and soft and A. they make me cry of joy. 

an overall look on it, i like how this episode really shows their feelings clearly. no “will they won’t they”, at least for rayla. it’s clear she has feelings.

3. AH FUCK. ANGST.

first i love how when rayla mentions that she’s excited and happy but also terrified, callum tries to comfort her. good boi. best boi.

second, elf callum. i love that scene so much even if the second-hand embarrassment kills me, and rayla is j like “why the fuck do i love you. im gonna kill him.”

third, DANCE! callum not being rude and saying her home is “modest” before rayla explains it’s an illusion, his BLUSH WHEN SHE HELPS HIM, and the softness in general. rayla’s excitement that she’s home and talks abt that she can show callum where she went to school, the best moonberry surprise place, until...

fourth, AH FUCK. A N G S T T I M E. rayla being crest-fallen before callum says that it must’ve been a mistake, and she realizes that ethari would probably understand!

and then CONFIRMED GAYS. YES.

rayla realizing ethari ghosted her too and then callum GOING O F F. he angy and when rayla runs out callum IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS (like in a later episode) and comforts her again.

when ethari comes down and breaks the spell and says to callum “trees to meet you too” and rayla’s like “don’t encourage him”

also callum trying to get on the shadowpaw and ethari being Concerned is AMAZING. concerned dad content

i’ll talk more about ezran/ruthari/the dark magic trio in a later ted talk

4. H E R E W E G O

first, rayla clearly being sad and callum picking up on that quickly (he even seems to be almost falling on purpose, perhaps to make her smile?) and asking if she’s ok before being shot down by rayla insisting she is fine. GOD DAMN. THAT HURTS.

second, their interaction with nyx is so amazing. rayla being protective of zym and callum being a DORK is awesome, but also their decision making.

after rayla reluctantly decides that they can go see how nyx could get them across the desert so quickly, they see the ambler and then their reasoning is amazing.

“what do you think?”

“the dragon queen is dying.” and then i forget the rest of the exact quote but they give a subtle nod to eachother. they make their decisions TOGETHER. AS A TEAM. AND THAT’S ON HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS X2!

third, callum continuing to gently press for rayla to express her emotions. he doesn’t pressure her, but seems to simply let her know that if she needs to talk (when she insists she’s fine), he is there. 

four, MORE FLUSTERED RAYLLUM. YES. TY NYX but also fuck u for taking zym but also ur hot- A N Y W A Y

five. OOOOOOH. MY FAVORITE SCENE.

rayla’s crying and callum tries to reassure her. nyx is plotting, while rayla runs away and callum follows. Y E S.

rayla talks about how there’s nobody left that cares about her and she lost everything.. and then the SPEECH. i have this speech memorized i’ve watched this scene so many times

"JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY. JUST, LISTEN TO ME. YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. I KNOW THAT, AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. YOU HAVE TRUE COURAGE, AND A BIG HEART! I'VE SEEN YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN SO MANY TIMES AND EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU GET UP AGAIN. THAT'S REAL STRENGTH. AND.. AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES FUNNIER THAN ANY HUMAN I KNOW! chuckle SEE? SEE YOU KNOW YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE SMART AND FAST AND BEAUTIFUL. RAYLA YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I'VE EVER MET."

LOVE THEMMM

and then rayla kisses him and that’s all that happened. callum was not a dumbass. right? RIGHT???

5. MY FAVORITE EPISODE!

first, rayla saving callum from the soulfang serpents and callum helping her get up is AMAZING, LOVE THAT.

second, callum tryna get a good position and rayla j saying to hold onto her and callum GETTING FLUSTERED. BOY IS PINING also he didn’t have to hold her that close.

“I DON’T THINK OF HER THAT WAY” “YOU AND I DON’T HAVE THAT YET” LIAR.

three, THEM JUMPING OFF THE AMBLER AND. THAT WHOLE MOMENT? THE ROMANTIC TENSION IS KILLING ME

four. DAMN CALLUM RLLY DO BE HAVING HEART EYES @ RAYLA WHILE SHE KILLS LIKE 80 SOULFANGS HE IS PINING PART 2

five. THE SPEECH. THE SOFTNESS. THE KISSES. GOD DAMN. FAVORITE SCENE OUT OF THE ENTIRETY OF TDP. LOVE THEM.

also here you go again

what can i say except YOU’RE WELCOME

6. ANGST BUT ALSO FLUFF ALSO REUNION

once again won’t b talking abt ezran specifically but there’s some passing mentions of him from now on

first, rayla and callum reaching the stone thunder and callum asking “is it... a statue?” and rayla sadly saying “no. it’s not a statue” A. I CRI.

1.5 ayla and callum best dragon parents

i’ll get to an actual analysis later

second, THIS MOMENT IS UNDERRATED EVEN THO IT’S ONE OF MY FAVS why has nobody mentioned the lil tender moment where ezran is by phoe-phoe and rayla puts her hand on callum’s shoulder AND CALLUM PUTS HIS HAND ON HERS. SO SWEET.

third, OK I’LL STOP MOST OF MY UNINTELLIGIBLE SHRIEKS AND ACTUALLY ANALYZE THIS.

callum is upset because of thunder and rayla sympathizes immediately. this is similar to how callum lets rayla let out her own emotions, and rayla is doing the same. he explains how he feels angry, upset, confused, sad, and rayla quickly empathizes. he keeps on venting, not knowing whether to feel regretful, or glad, and how he’s confused because that’s sarai’s spear. he feels sorry that all this happened, but rayla reassures him that zym and ezran are going to break the cycle! that’s hope! and then they hold hands and i screech

AND THAT’S SO FUCKING HEALTHY AND I LOVE IT. THEY RLLY BREAK ALL BAD HET RELATIONSHIP STEREOTYPES (coughbutistillheadcanonthembothasbiandcallumistransilldieonthishillcough)

7. angst but not rayllum angst so its ok

first, they begin to go up the storm spire and i really love their banter. “and i’m guessing the dragon queen didn’t make her den at a nice, halfway kinda place?” “nope. tiptop!”

cuties.

second, ASSDHFNF THE FACT THEY M O C K THE IDEA OF A FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP. THEY’RE IN LOVE AND THE WORLD CAN DEAL WITH IT. LOVE THAT FOR THEM

third, RAYLA CATCHING CALLUM. IT’S. NOT RLLY BIG I JUST LIKE IT AND THINK IT’S CUTE HOW EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ALSO OUT OF BREATH SHE RAN UP TO CATCH HIM. 

four, AHSDHGDHFG THEY DEADASS FORGOT EZRAN WAS THERE. more flustered rayllum i love that

8. FUCK IT’S RAYLLUM ANGST NOOOO

one, ibis is j a good boi. back to rayla and callum

two, rayla going in to see the dragon queen and when she runs out callum QUICKLY FOLLOWS to see if she’s ok. asks her if she’s ok, and she OPENS UP!! CHARACTER GROWTH BABY!!! and then they hold hands and i once again shriek

three, AH. HELLO ANGST.

before we go to the actual angst, can i say that THE LAUGH AFTER RAYLA SAID “STORM SNEEZE” IS SO CUTE. CALLUMS IN LOVE. MY SON.

oh no.

*bonks rayla on the head* nO SELF SACRIFICING!!

although their fight is super angsty and i hate it, it does provide some conflict and more plot because it gives callum a reason to want to find out the truth about rayla’s parents. and then he does! people argue that this fight was unnecessary or that callum was a jerk, but this was needed i think. he did let his worry become a bit of anger, and that was not a nice move, but he knows he fucked up and fixes it!

and then we get soft rayllum this is fine

9. AND YOU THOUGHT LAST EPISODE WAS BAD N O *CRYING*

there’s not much rayllum featured in this ep, but the amount we do get is 80 PERCENT ANGST AND I WASN’T OK WITH IT

first, the fluff! callum trying to do the wing spell and rayla teasing “did you pull a muscle in the middle of a jumping jack?” is so cute. i LOVE THEM. also they hold hands and i SH RIEK again. 

also soren how dare you interrupt callum he was abt to confess

second, callum when he’s explaining the battle plan and his ZAP HAND. rayla is j watching him like “yep. that is my dork.”

and CALLUM SEEMS SO FOND WHEN JANAI CALLS RAYLA THE LAST DRAGONGUARD. PERHAPS I SOB

skipping forward in time a bit for the angst oh no

third, callum going up to the storm spire after ez encouraging him to go to rayla. love that soft brotherly relationship. and we think “oh, soft rayllum, right?”

NO. VIREN’S UP THERE.

fourth, THEY DIDN’T NEED ME TO BE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR WTF. the fact that rayla’s blade went right in front of callum and he looks up and sees zym in danger, viren is there, and RAYLA is there, p a n i k.

and then rayla jumps and the entire rayllum fandom SC REAMS after callum’s “no!” before she jumps and “no, no, no, RAYLA!”

fifth, CALLUM NO WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TOO- oh wait its ok he did the wings and im still crying fuck

THAT CONFESSION THO- i cri tears of joy now. they’re in love

sixth, I J WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE EZRAN SHOWED UP. like it’s clear that they’re talking or something, but abt what is the question. also yes they hug and raylas fond

seventh, THEY HOLD HANDS!! soft bbs,,,

AAAND IM DONE! this is. quite long so if you read all of this i hope u have a good day and thnx for listening to me ramble with some coherent thoughts

[gresiniracing]

hey corey!! question: do u think zhou has a chance in f1? im asking bc im new to f2 and everyone just talks abt the prema boys + callum

ahh imean maybe ? it depends on how next season goes & what renault decides 2 do (@ cyril don't u daRE choose another retiree) (hes in the academy btw) if renault wants a new driver and is willing to take a rookie? then yeah imean he would probably just have to beat christian and oscar next year (and finish .. in a position i can't name off the top of my head for the superlicense) which i think is totally doable if he gets a bit more luck than he's had this year ! if renault doesn't wanna do that though then yknow :(( he's a great driver that would rlly deserve a f1 seat ! and i love him so :) pleas :) (tho i think he would b great in any series he races in even if it's not f1) (fe would b cool) but yeh tldr: he's a great driver that could be in line for an f1 seat if next season goes his way

sorry 4 the paragraph i hav thoughts kdhdkdh

[eastendies]

Thoughts on the beautiful Frankie?? she's got my heart.

I already ranted a ton abt her but I can def rant abt her some more, I just LOVE her character atm and the writing surrounding her which is p rare for this show??

I adore how Frankie still bothered to come talk to Ben despite not knowing him and just meeting his bf bc she could tell Callum is a really good person and he's being honest about Ben struggling, and she wanted to see if she could help. You can see how Ben and Frankie just instantly sorta click, and after some talking Frankie is actually trying to help (that comment abt eye contact and Deaf ppl communicating?? Perfection).

I adore how Frankie was actually involved in the Deaf community since birth and goes to a ton of events, and even remarks on the Deaf community with Ben?? Cause it really does seem like she was there to see if Ben would could be in that community, which could help him get out of denial and embrace who he is, which is Deaf. The fact that Ben sorta snaps at her and makes it clear he doesn't want anything to do with her wore out her patience but that out reach was still there?? Being around ppl like you is an AMAZING feeling when you're HOH/Deaf, and i really do think the direction they're taking with this story line involves the Deaf community, which is gonna be AWESOME

[jessepinkmvn]

would u rather see callum deal with leo himself or have ben intervene at some point? i'm conflicted bc i would love to see ben flip out on leo n go proper protective over callum and for leo to realize he's bitten off more than he can chew but i also really want to see callum handle it himself and grow a bit more of a back bone and for him to be the one to realize leo's a weirdo without any kind of help u know? so i'd be curious to hear what u think!! (also i'm really sorry abt ur shitty day 💖)

laurennnn ur so cute ily! (also ur recent ask about liking where ballum are now and not wanting angst for a while bc they’re in a good place is So Good it feels like you copied and pasted it straight from my brain)

i don’t want ben to get involved unless/until callum asks him to. i’m pretty sure that callum’s gonna be the one to uncover something shady about leo and tell whitney and try to handle the whole situation by himself. and i’d love that! callum standing up for himself is such a reminder of his character development, he’s slowly and slowly becoming more confident as a person and being brave enough to call leo out and not scuttling to ben (who callum knows would take it way too far, this is ben we’re talking about) would be amazing.

but i also think that callum’s gonna be far too out of his depth. this leo sl is obviously going to get darker and darker and i know some theories were being thrown around about leo trying to take callum out of the picture more permanently but there’s some genuine weight to them??? i can see leo getting someone to beat callum up and that is definitely gonna piss ben off, but i hope this doesn’t become a ballum/ben sl, if you get me?? ben doesn’t belong in this sl as anything other than support for callum.

what do you think tho??? I love hearing people’s thoughts about this sl bc it’s already really controversial and if it’s gonna last 18 months then things just have to spiral and leo’s gonna get worse and worse.

[clowningbayern-moved]

talk to me about your thoughts about f2 so far! feel free to be as non-concise as u want <3

ooh ok yes so. i think f2 is really fun to watch, all the cars being the same DOES make it really interesting as like a sport? and i find it genuinely way more relaxing to watch than f1 because it feels like i'm actually watching it to enjoy the racing rather than because i'm counting on it to resolve a million different emotional narratives, if that makes any sense.

on the flipside i think from an emotional investment perspective it is harder for me to get REALLY into bc i feel so much for the kids and find it all very heartbreaking when they don't achieve their dreams, like i got really attached to callum when first learning abt f2 and akfjsk now it's like ok i want to follow him but he's not in f2 anymore and i don't have time to watch another series akdjskd

but really what will solve that problem is when i find a new fave driver which i haven't yet and i need to watch more to figure out who to support (biggest blocker there is i refuse to wake up at 5am for any sport)

[sunsetsover]

I never would have thought that Ben had a diagnosis beyond Traumatised but since finding your blog and seeing your perspective and looking into bpd myself it makes so much sense, and has really changed the way I view him, cos I've not always been fair to his character. I really enjoy seeing your perspective, you have a really interesting understanding of the characters. I think Callum is viewed with a bit more empathy, but people don't like it when their faves step out of the acceptable boxes they're in. That's why people have gone off Ruby and Sharon as well, cos they haven't behaved acceptably.

sorry anon but we're best friends now. we're besties. like i could kiss u for this message i really could.

i LOVE that i was able to highlight some things and that you did your own research and reached your own conclusions on these things !!!! that honestly means more to me than you just taking my word for it. bc it just makes so much sense right ??? like i could spot it right away bc looking at him is like looking in a mirror but when even looking at his character from a diagnostic criteria it just ??? makes SO much fucking sense ?? i could honestly talk abt it all day like the man has bpd !! my god !!!! plus i'm all for just generally making ppl more aware of bpd bc not enough ppl even KNOW abt it let alone understand it so ee aside just the fact that you took time out of your life to do a little bit more research to try and learn more and understand makes me wanna cry. like i love u for that i really do.

and i love that you can acknowledge that your perspective on his actions have changed now that you're looking at them as the actions of someone who's mentally ill. tbh it doesn't bother me THAT much when ppl don't understand ben's actions bc like The BPD Experience is just being a constant state of 'now why tf did i do that/why do i feel this way/why would i say that' so i don't expect everyone to understand. but the way people talk about ben sometimes?? especially after the boat crash??? that shit hurt. like on a personal level, some of that stuff really hurt me. which is why im so defensive, not just for him as a character but more for the people who are looking at him and relating to him and his actions only to see people shitting all over him and calling him all sorts of things because of how he was behaving and reacting to everything that was happening to him. so it just. means a lot to me for someone to go 'actually maybe i have been unfair to him'. so thank you <3

i completely agree w u regarding callum, but i also think it's bc ppl know what ptsd is (or at least they think they do lmao). like i think having that little bit more awareness of what ptsd is does mean ppl tend to be more sympathetic, plus the fact that it's being Addressed vs ben which is just this unnamed Thing. PLUS the fact that bpd in and of itself is extremely complicated and all over the place and even some doctors are kind of like ???? so ofc the gp is too lmao its just a combination of things imo but poor ben always ends up w the short straw :-(

but ur SO right abt ppl not wanting their faves to step out of their boxes omg u spilled ESP in regards to ruby !!!!! my god !!! her going evil was the most interesting thing that's happened to her character in lord knows how long and yet !!!! it was like the world was ending my GOD. i just wish ppl would learn the difference between 'bad writing' and 'a writing choice i didn't like/agree with' bc the two aren't the same fucking thing !!!!

but anyway this message meant a lot to me honestly sorry if i went ott lmao but i just feel very Strongly abt this and am very Defensive of ppl w bpd bc there are so many bad and harmful stereotypes out there abt us and ppl just talk so much shit and refuse to learn or even TRY and understand so it means a lot that you did. AND that you took the time to come and tell me abt it. so thank you ily 💕💕💕

[foxie-roxie]

me talking about the future dynamic between rayla/claudia/callum

*CLAP* LET’S GO ITS ANOTHER SELF INDULGENT TED TALK

in the fandom, i think my favorite things are the fanfiction, fanart, and even fanmade plushies or adoraburrs! of course i usually see the rayllum fanart more, because i seek it out, but i welcome all fanart.

but you wanna know my FAVORITE thing to theorize about besides rayllum?

*SMACKS CHALKBOARD* WHAT THE DYNAMIC WILL BE LIKE BETWEEN RAYLA, CALLUM, AND CLAUDIA. BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH YOU CAN DO WITH IT

SO LET’S FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT

So Callum and Claudia have been enemies for a few weeks because she y’know, tried to capture them n other stuff whatever you know if you watched S2

and ofc, rayllum happened. so the “love triangle” basically lasted like. a week lmao

BUT THE DYNAMIC HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER AND I AM SO FUCKING READY

first off, why don’t we talk about PARALLELS BETWEEN CALLUM AND CLAUDS! because in s3 one really stood out to me, and it’s not that noticable

and it’s with the wings and reviving lord Corona-Virus, because they’re both HUGE for plot. callum learns a new spell (and saves rayla brb screeching bc that scene MAKES ME SO SOFT), and claudia is very clearly slowly being consumed by dark magic with half her hair being white

i like how it’s clear that they’re on opposite sides, in ALL ways, not just politically. callum is learning primal magic and isn’t being corrupted at all, claudia is learning dark magic and corrupting her soul more

OK THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ABT OFFTOPIC SHIT IT’S TIME TO GET TO THE FUN STUFF

THE POSSIBLE DYNAMIC

THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS THIS CAN GO,,

First off, Rayllum

IF IT’S GONNA CAUSE PROBLEMS WITH SOMEONE,, I MEAN CLAUDIA COULD BE THE SOMEONE OK

Now lemme make it clear, I don’t think she would be jealous or anything. hell no (i imagine she finds out and is like “lmao ok, still hate u guys”)

it’s the fact that callum saved rayla instead of her father, who he grew up with

he chose an elf girl he meant a month ago, over someone he grew up

,,,IMAGINE HOW PISSY CLAUDIA’S GONNA BE ABOUT T H A T

now here’s the thing.

me talking about claudia and callum being enemies,, isn’t exactly true

on the sides of the war absolutely they are enemies

but in terms of their friendship? ...no

to me they seem quite neutral, as callum nor claudia has really mentioned the other, so i assume there are no grudges. 

but the thing is, they also... haven’t talked. they don’t know what the fUCK happened to the other after they separated. last time they saw eachother, callum almost motherfucking DIED because he’s an IDIOT

i also don’t ship claudium, i am a rayllum/raydia shipper the whole way, and i don’t think claudia really had feelings

but that’s my two cents, i won’t get into it

the only way callum could potentially know about what happened with claudia is soren but eh idk

claudia has no way of knowing that rayllum even exists, or that callum knows primal magic

so if they do run into eachother again,, holy shit

i know this wasn’t really much of talking abt the dynamic but instead what could CONTRIBUTE to it but @/raayllum made a great post about this on their blog (it’s actually from an ask that i asked lmao) so go read that!

anyway my adhdass’ train of thought is gone im gonna go read more fic bye

[sunsetsover]

Thoughts on Callum slowly discovering the freedom of being able to initiate physical contact with Ben (in private initially) and the comfort he finds in it? Like coming home and finding Ben there, lying on the couch and he realises he can just lie down, with his head on Ben's chest, if he wants.

please this is so sweet to even think about i’m so soft….. i could probably ramble abt this forever but let me try and be coherent 

callum is very tactile. it’s something he’s always kind of known about himself, despite never really being in a place where he experienced much physical affection - not at home, not at school, certainly not in the army. he hadn’t even really had a proper relationship before whitney, so by the time he’d met her he felt kind of awkward about the whole thing. he didn’t really know how to touch anyone, especially not a woman. he didn’t know how to be touched.

and yes, him and whitney were physically affectionate, and it was nice. but it also always felt a little bit off, somehow. like a picture on a wall that’s not quite hung straight. a shirt that doesn’t quite fit you properly.

so by the time ben comes along, callum is massively, massively touch starved - and he doesn’t even realize it, is the thing, because he has whitney. because she gives him everything he needs. or at least that’s what he’s convinced himself.

but then ben touched him that night in the park - and it was barely even a touch, truth be told - but it was enough to have every wall callum had ever built around That part of him turn to sand, rendering them completely useless. it was enough to have him craving. to have him suddenly realizing what it is that he’s been missing.

and there was a long and messy road between then and now - now, where they’ve been dating for a few months, where everything is good and steady between them, where every touch still sets callum’s skin alight.

but the thing is, callum can tell ben is holding back - not because he wants to, but for callum’s benefit. he’s said all along that it’s up to him to dictate the pace of their relationship, including the physical aspects of it. which is something callum has been incredibly thankful for, but…. he’s starting to feel antsy now. because ben touches him (when they’re alone and in private, because callum still isn’t ready for PDA yet) but it’s almost always light and fleeting and cautious - like he’s trying not to overwhelm callum. which was nice at first, but now it’s starting to drive him mad.

and callum isn’t exactly sure what to do about it. it’s not like he can sit ben down and go ‘i really appreciate you being considerate, but i’d really like it if you could stop tiptoeing around me now’, is it? (i mean he could, but as if he ever would lmao)

so he thinks about it. he thinks about it a lot. and then he comes to the realization that he doesn’t necessarily need to wait for ben to be the one to initiate it. he can initiate it himself. he can touch ben, if he wants to. he can touch his boyfriend; can hold his hand and stroke his hair and pull him into a hug just because.

problem is, that’s a lot easier said than done.

for a little while, callum just kind of hopes that ben will just Know somehow. that he’ll figure it out. which ofc is silly and unrealistic and callum quickly realizes once again that if he wants anything to change between them, he’s going to have to take matters into his own hands (literally)

and he overthinks it at first and tries to like… plan it out. as though that’s how it works. as if holding your boyfriend’s hand is something you plan out ahead of time.

but eventually he manages to scrape together enough courage to just kinda…. stroke the tips of his fingers along the back of ben’s hand one day when they’re sat together at home. thankfully ben cottons on pretty quickly and turns his hand over, but he doesn’t do anything more than that - just holding out his hand for callum to take, if he wants to. it’s on him, still. so callum presses their palms together and links their fingers and ben smiles at him and pulls their joined hands into his lap. he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. callum’s glad.

after that, callum is a little emboldened. it’s still hard for him, but he starts taking ben’s hand without asking for permission, or running his hands through ben’s hair as he listens to him talk, or putting his arm around ben’s shoulders while they’re sat together on the couch. 

(which is something that ben particularly likes, because he kinda likes feeling small next to callum (though he’d die before he’d ever admit it), and after it has become almost a habit for them, ben starts leaning back into him, yknow? allowing himself to be held. and one night in particular callum does it and ben kinda half turns and presses his back into callum’s chest. by the end of the evening they’re full on cuddling, ben in between callum’s legs with his arms wrapped around his waist, and it’s so warm and safe and callum has never get more content in his life. the solid feeling of ben’s masculine body pressed against him - holding him - fills him with something he’s never experienced before in his life; something he can’t quite put words to, but it’s good, whatever it is.)

it gets easier after that. ben seems to realize, too, that callum isn’t gonna spook every time he tries to touch him, so he stops holding himself back as much - he’s mindful still, but he also stops tiptoeing around callum so much, which is exactly what he had wanted (and it turns out he is just as touchy as callum is lmao). and it makes callum feel better u know! more confident! knowing he’s not alone in this. knowing ben wants to touch him just as much.

and it’s when he sees ben lying on the couch, fiddling with the tv remote that he gets hit with this overwhelming surge of just… happiness. knowing he can go over and touch ben if he wants to. that he doesn’t have to hide it anymore, he doesn’t have to bury it, pretend he doesn’t want it.

so that’s exactly what he does - walks over to the couch and lays himself down on top of ben, presses his ear into his chest and listens to his heart beating. one of ben’s hands comes to settle between his shoulder blades, thumb absentmindedly rubbing at his skin through his shirt as he continues looking for something to watch. once he’s found something that satisfies him, ben drops the remote and brings his other arm around callum, presses a kiss to the top of his head, shifts callum’s weight between his hips slightly and settles in.

callum has to close his eyes for a moment and take a breath just so he can take it all in. thanks his lucky stars that he has this, because he never thought he would. he never thought he’d get here. and he’s so fucking glad he is.

💞💞💞

[sunsetsover]

This is completely off topic but we have seen Ben watch Callum hurt himself with the bottle and all we saw was Ben tell Callum to watch his leg on the bottle but I’m curious, do you think as a couple they would’ve had more chats about it? And if so, how do you think they would’ve gone? ♥️

ooh interesting question!! i haven’t really thought abt that incident specifically as something they would have talked abt now as a couple before!!

to be completely honest tho i don’t think they would have? bc i feel like if they did, then callum would have to address a lot of things - his time in the army, how he dealt with leaving, maybe even chris too - that i think eastenders as a show would (or at least SHOULD) address on screen. and like u probably know this but im like CONVINCED we’re gonna get that ptsd storyline, which would be the perfect catalyst to bring up all of that kind of stuff on screen and make a storyline out of it, u know??? like basically i think if callum hurting himself w the bottle was something ben and callum had spoke abt off screen, they would have probably had to have spoken abt a lot of other stuff surrounding that incident that i think ee would be crazy not to address or bring up on screen, u know what i mean??

unless ben maybe asked him abt it and callum lied?? or avoided being completely honest??? bc we’ve seen that callum doesn’t really lie to ben, but it is still obviously a touchy subject for him so if ben had asked him outright abt it then would he be honest abt it or just kind of shrug it off and make out it wasn’t a big deal?? maybe only tell ben the surface reasons for it?? i don’t know, which is why im inclined to say they haven’t spoken abt it, bc i can also see ben assuming it was to do w his sexuality (which it probably was partly tbf) and not feeling the need to bring it up, u know? it was a long time ago, he knows there was a lot going on in callum’s life at the time (tho he presumably doesn’t know the full extent of it) so i can see him not wanting to bring it up. esp since he hasn’t seen callum do anything like that since

so yeah the tldr answer is no, i don’t think they would have bc if they PROPERLY spoke abt it they’d have to talk abt the circumstances around it and there’s too much good material there for that to be an off screen discussion, u know what i mean???

💖💖💖

[sunsetsover]

the entire ben and phil scene was so Good and it proves phil can be a good dad to ben i just don’t understand why he so rarely tries or shows it ????

like the entire ‘one day you won’t be able to pick up your little girl and make it all better’ ‘she’ll be alright, we’re fighters’ exchange was so sweet and really felt like a bonding moment for them

phil talking about ben having more kids in the future

and then saying that ben might have to step in and raise sharon’s kid if sharon takes his head off - albeit jokingly but the sentiment was still there 

phil noticing that something was bothering ben and then pressing him further when ben passes it off as just being worried..... actually paying attention to ben and noticing something is wrong and then showing concern and interest in what it is that’s bothering his son.... do my fucking eyes deceive me honestly

phil being the one to be like ‘i know callum wants to be a copper’ when he saw that ben was clearly struggling to say it

and then ben rushing to try and appease his dad and promise he was going to ‘sort it’ (which he shouldn’t have to do but phil has conditioned him to behave and feel and think like this lmao) but phil being like ‘oh shut up will ya, no one’s perfect’ and not kicking off or even making a big deal out of it like bitch imagine my fucking shock

(and ben’s relieved face when he realizes phil’s not gonna kick off and he’s not gonna be forced to chose......... that shit hurted)

the ‘besides it might come in handy having a bent copper in the family................. no offence’ bro !!!!!! there’s so much to unpack in that little exchange!!!! phil still considers callum family!!! ALREADY!!! what the fuck!!! and phil not wanting ben to think he was having a dig at callum’s sexuality when he wasn’t!!! he was literally just talking abt a crooked policeman!!

the whole ‘anyway i haven’t seen you this happy since paul so i’m pleased for you’ says so much too like phil has been paying attention to his son and has noticed how happy ben has been lately and how happy callum makes him (it also says he noticed how happy ben was when he was with paul but clearly didn’t give a fuck back then seeing as though he still insisted on calling paul ben’s ‘friend’ lmao) and that he’s happy about that.... like he’s glad his son is happy.... he’s glad that callum is making ben happy..... and that’s A Lot, all things considered

(it also almost sounds like he’s saying ‘your happiness is more important to me than the repercussions of you shaking up with a copper on my business’ but let’s not get ahead of ourselves lmao)

and just.... ben’s face throughout the whole thing.... the relief, the quiet happiness.... bc you know this is all he’s EVER wanted from his dad (accepting who he is and who he’s with AND putting him almost first) and it’s a fucking piss take that he’s had to wait 23 years to get that from phil but you can’t deny how important it was for ben to get

and then ben’s determination to help his dad while NOT breaking his promise to callum (like i really thought he would tbh) like it felt like he’s just realized that he can have both!! he can have a good relationship with his dad while not jeopardising his relationship with callum for it and i’m just so fuckin happy for him tbh

so in conclusion: i am fucking emo and very happy for ben rn but also big mad that phil couldn’t have been like this with/for ben before now

[sunsetsover]

How are you feeling about these spoilers?? Do you think Ben will end up confessing or do you think it'll take longer?? PLUS jealous Ben thoughts?

i’m feeling good!!! i’m just glad we’re getting some forward progression tbh, the entire thing felt a little stagnated since christmas day (the only plot that felt like it was actually moving forward in regards to everyone involved w mitchell stuff was the linda plot w just hints of ben’s breakdown thrown in) so altho it’s not a spoiler i’m glad we’re seeing louise struggling now, as well as ben (and denny lowkey -phil does not seem at all bothered by any of it, the bastard) and we know that this is going Somewhere. and just the thought of callum coming back to walford and going straight to ben and trying to get their relationship back on track…. i’m crying already he clearly wants to be with ben SO BAD but ben is struggling sm and it’s KILLING ME

in regards to the ben and callum stuff, it sounds So Good tbh and i’m excited!!! ben being the petty jealous bitch he is and sabotaging what he thinks is a date!!!! but then being conflicted abt being jealous bc he can’t help it bc he loves callum and never would have broken up w him if it wasn’t for the phil/sharon/keanu stuff but he also is struggling w the guilt of what he’s done and knows (or thinks he knows) that they’re better off apart n that callum is better off w someone else…. but he still loves him… but he feels like he can’t be with him…. but he doesn’t want him with anyone else….. god it’s going to be so fuckin good im excited

and then callum giving him some home truths like ‘ben you can’t have it both ways, you can’t tell me to find someone else and then behave like this when i do’ like tbh i doubt he wouldn’t at this point but i so hope callum stands up for himself and puts ben in his place… and honestly what i wouldn’t give to see him give him some home truths abt phil while he’s at it…. for a ‘he’s just some bloke who got ur mum pregnant’ parallel…. like i highly doubt we’ll get that but can u just imagine that angst….. god

as for the confession, we were just talking abt this!!! idk what specifically ur referring to, but personally i doubt we’ll get an ily, but i think we might get him confessing something abt keanu. or smth that he’s done. like not a full blown confession, but i can see him admitting something to callum as kind of a ‘this is what kind of person i am, this is what i’m capable of, how can you want to be with me’ kinda thing. like the juxtaposition of ben ruining callum’s date bc he can’t bear the thought of callum being w anyone else and then immediately pushing callum away bc he thinks they can’t be together…… chefs kiss

but yeah really i’m just happy that we’re getting callum back and that we’re moving forwards u know!!!!!! but thank u for asking 💖💖

[sunsetsover]

Ben be like I'll treat my kind supportive boyfriend like shit constantly and then say I love you so he won't leave me? Then I can carry on treating him like shit. I'm so over it.

ok this is NOT the take i was getting at i was talking abt the angst aspect of it also u sent this to the wrong bitch lmao bc ben is grieving and he’s dealing with a massive massive change in terms of his deafness and while his behaviour might not be fair it IS understandable and callum SHOULDN’T have spoke about him like that to suki ok he’s his boyfriend not his fucking carer and his anger and EMBARRASSMENT over that is 100% also the insinuation that him telling callum he loves him is somehow going to be a manipulation tactic is fucked beyond belief esp when the last time he told his boyfriend he loved him he DIED like???? ben is struggling and callum isn’t the only one he’s taking his struggling out on idk what to tell u if u can’t see that......... like this is not a good take anon..... also how u clicked on my blog w the title ‘ben mitchell apologist’ and thought to send me this Hot Take is beyond me lmao