#i thought going to a wedding while heartbroken would be the worst thing possible

[tender-horror]

a poem about the songs played at chey and drew's wedding - the old tudor mansion and the wedding guests moshing among the string lights. this must be the place by talking heads. halah by mazzy star. the father-daughter dance to wild world by cat stevens. the punk band taking the stage at 10, all the slam-dancing in the english countryside. the horses across the road at sunset. the rose garden, the graveyard. the old painted portraits in the room with the vaulted ceiling and chandelier where the ceremony takes place, and thias crying like a baby next to me as soon as chey starts walking down the aisle.

a poem about all of us twirling, smoking, drinking, fall in love again and again and again and again.

[crepes-suzette-373]

Shipping tinted glasses: It almost seems like Nami thought she'd they'd lost Sanji to Pudding

One of the reasons why I'm curious about Nami taking Sanji's "evil" rant at face value is because they literally had just been run around a forest full of very very well-made copies.

Luffy not being suspicious of funny business at all, I get, because he was fooled again and again by the fakes. Nami, though, had been highly suspicious of fakes. They've also been bamboozled by the fake Luffy that turned out to be Brulee's doing, so one would have thought they'd be extra vigilant of possible fakes.

It ended up reading like "Nami thought Sanji had somehow changed his mind and decided he really wants to marry Pudding after all (and is jealous/heartbroken)".

All the way back in 822, the idea of that being a possibility had already been offered by Zoro and Usopp:

We weren't shown Nami's reaction specifically, but she had to have heard. Then later when they meet Pudding:

Even if Pudding said he refused and she's going to help them get him back, if Pudding can like Sanji, this still left the possibility that maybe he likes her back.

Then, Sanji himself said this:

Right after he said that, Nami makes this face, looking like she's already trying to hold back tears even before Sanji started to beat up Luffy seriously.

It gives me the impression that Nami, who is already starting to have doubts in her heart, saw this as a confirmation of her worst fears and didn't even consider that they're being tricked. We know it's really Sanji. For them, though, the possibility of this being a fake is not zero.

Sanji at that point was behaving, well, basically like Yonji. However, back on the ship, Nami's comment was that other than his face and heart eyes, Yonji was nothing like Sanji at all because he was being horrible. So how do you know this isn't Ichiji/Niji/Goji/number however many are there? What if Sanji also had a massive family like Big Mom and there's actually 8 or 9 or 10 identical siblings and this is fake?

As always, I'm not saying it's what this was intended to be, but it's what it can be read as.

I was thinking that I don't remember if Nami has ever personally witnessed Sanji ditch other girls in order to save her, so she doesn't necessarily know that she's always his first priority. Like the time in Dressrosa, he completely ditched Viola while calling for Nami. The people on the ship didn't know that. All they knew is that he just showed up out of nowhere.

In the plot it's also weird that neither Luffy or Nami asked him point blank "I thought Pudding said you refused the wedding". I can only think it went down this way to make drama (for us the reader to be sad about).

I've seen manga authors openly admit in the "free talk" comments corner that there were times when they said "Uh, I think that last chapter went weird/doesn't make sense" and the editor just said "It's ok, as long as the story is interesting". So all of this could be me just reading too deep into things, and it's all a big nothing in the end.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

The Road Less Traveled (Fellowship x Pregnant!Reader)

Synopsis: Left by a man who took you out of wedlock, you discover halfway through the Fellowship’s journey that you are, indeed, pregnant. Not wishing for you to face motherhood alone, the Fellowship conspires, regarding whom gets to marry you and help raise your child, leaving you with a tough choice.

This was not at all how you saw your life going—both the man leaving you for another woman, and finding out you were pregnant with his baby on a perilous quest, miles upon miles away from the nearest dwelling.

You had been madly in love with this man, unaware he had eyes for another. Your copulating love was taken out of wedlock, a choice you knew had its risks, but Brander had a charming way about him.

You never would have thought he’d leave you. However, one morning, Brander announced the conclusion of your relationship with another woman on his arm.

Heartbroken and enraged, you threw all his clothes from your shack, and took to a horse. Riding swiftly, you headed to the one place you knew hearts were healed; Rivendell.

Upon your arrival, a council of sorts was taking place. One thing led to another, as per usual in your life, and you found yourself on another journey—this time with a higher purpose, and nine other guys.

Things were difficult, but honestly relieving. The fresh air cleansed your soul, as did the healthy relationships you built up with the nine males—proving to you that they weren’t all bad, right on time before you could curse the entire species of XY chromosomes out forever.

However, this was as far as the fun went.

It started with a tiredness the Fellowship brushed off due to your inexperience, and then the lateness of your period. Next, early dawns were spent throwing up in the woods, with whomever was on night-watch holding your hair back, usually Aragorn, Legolas or Boromir.  

You wept slightly when a sparring match with Boromir resulted in a shield hitting your breasts, for they were very tender as of late. The final nail in the coffin was the snubbing of Sam’s usually delicious bacon making you hurl.

Gandalf had taken to speaking with you privately, and asked, in the politest manner possible, if he could assess your womb to find confirmation of another soul.

Legolas approached slowly, crouched down by your side, and spoke responsively in the most apologetic of voices.

“There is no need—I can hear their heartbeat…I am so sorry, Y/n.”

You broke down into tears quickly, and everyone soon knew your predicament that evening. You apologized over and over, and felt utterly mortified. How embarrassing.

They now knew the choice you had made out of wedlock, and were pregnant as a result—something highly frowned upon in human society, and many others in Middle-earth, for that matter. You would no doubt be branded as a “whore” upon your return to society.

You told them all about Brander that night, and opened up to them fully. Jaws were clenched, nervous glances were flashed, and brows were furrowed.

They now had an expectant, first-time mother in their midst, on their way to quite possibly the worst place in the world to take a pregnant woman. Adding onto this, their poor friend, whom they had grown quite close with, was in a horrible situation.

But perhaps it was one they could help with?

Driven by noble blood and true chivalry, the Fellowship started to discuss their options.  

“It’s just awful, what that ��Brander’ fellow has done to her,” said Boromir, discreetly nodding over in your direction.

You were sat with your head in one hand on a log by the fire, face contorted in misery. Your cheeks and eyes, as well as your nose, were all pink, due to a long while of crying.

Sam sat on one side of you, and held your hand. He reassured you with bright words of soothing promises.

“Don’t worry, Miss Y/n! All will work out! You’ll see! You’re bringing a new soul into this world! That’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Sam would say.

Merry, Frodo and Pippin were on your other side, rubbing your back and holding your shoulder.

“He’s right!” they’d agree, nodding profusely. “You’ll see! This is a wonderful thing. You just can’t quite picture it yet, but you will!”

Gimli, Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas were all huddled in close, standing in a circle. They stood a little further off from the fire, but still caught its glow.

Gandalf was sat on a log himself, puffing away on a pipe. The affairs of human society were not his responsibility, but he offered guidance from a distance nonetheless. He already knew all would work out, but was the only one there oldest and wisest enough to realize so.

Legolas’ arms were folded over his chest, as were the three others’ he stood with. “She’ll be shamed wherever she goes, and her child will be considered a bastard. Truly awful…I feel compelled to help. What can we do?”

“Well, to avoid public slander,” Aragorn spoke up knowingly, “she’d have to be married.”

“Very well and all,” Gimli whispered back, “but were you perhaps not present when she said the scoundrel ran off with another filly?”

“He was not whom I was referencing,” Aragorn mentioned. He threw a studious glance in your direction, and spoke again. “She is a fine young lady, with a strong heart and homely nature. She would make a wonderful wife, and I feel it our duty as her friends to make sure she becomes so.”

“You mean for us to marry her?” Legolas asked, incredulously. His head lowered in shock as he spoke, and a brow arched.

The guys, save for Aragorn, who overlooked it all, glanced between each other tensely, unsure if the alarmed glint in their eyes was competition or fear.

Boromir was the first to speak up.

“I will do it, in a heartbeat!” he said. “You are right, Aragorn—she is a wonderful young lady, and deserves to be wed in time for her child. I will care for them both.”

“Well, now hold on a moment,” Legolas snapped, glaring across at Boromir. “Why do you get to marry her? I am much closer in age to her than you are…figuratively speaking, at least. I should be the one to marry her—we get along best.”

“You?” Gimli snorted. “You will outlive her in the blink of an eye.”

“Oh, and you won’t?” Legolas said back. “None of us implied romance anyways, Gimli. I’d merely be a lifelong friend and guardian for her and her child. I’m the most suited out of everyone here to provide for her—”

“Because you’re a prince?” Boromir interjected, narrowing his eyes.

“Not just because of that,” Legolas bit back, squaring up with Boromir slightly. “But what of it regardless? What does it matter how I provide for her? I plan on renouncing my title and making a life of my own anyways. I might not get the chance for a child of my own, and I can help Y/n raise hers.”

“She’s not some puppy, laddie,” Gimli snorted back. “You both want to store her away in a little cottage or unit somewhere drab. I can provide her with culture! Dwarven culture! Her little one deserves to grow up in grand halls and eat ripened meat!”

Aragorn looked between the unfolding drama, and soon raised a hand before you could become even more distressed. Fortunately, you hadn’t heard a thing of their hushed conversation.

“That is enough,” Aragorn said. “I’d offer to marry her myself, but…well, I do believe you three are better suited than me to provide a stable life for her. It is ultimately up to Y/n. All either three of you can do is offer your hand in marriage to her, and see what she says.”

Glares were thrown between the three potential suitors, as each wondered who’d be the first to turn around and run towards you.

As it turns out, all three turned on their heels at the same. They nearly tripped over one another. However, they stopped almost immediately, for someone on the other side already had the same idea.

“It is quite all right, Y/n,” Frodo said, down on one knee before you, and holding your hand. “The Shire will accept you, and I can just say I fell in love on the road and married you immediately. I have a big house now left all to myself, with many rooms. You can have one to yourself, as can your child. Bilbo did the same for me when I was young.”

You were crying again, but this time out of happiness. Your other hand was placed over your chest, as you smiled down at the kind hobbit with a wavering lower lip.

“Oh, Frodo, that is so incredibly kind, I can only say—”

“DON’T SAY ANYTHING!” Legolas shouted, rushing forwards. He nearly shoved Frodo out of the way, and took his place holding your hand swiftly.

“Y/n,” he began, sincerely, “I’ve always felt that you and I have had a…special bond since beginning this journey together. I can provide you with a cottage in the forest, and true protection. I’m an archer and an elf—your child will learn many life skills with me as their parental guardian. And, furthering this, after you’ve moved on from our world, your child will surely be left behind. I can ensure they are well-cared for up until their own departure!”

“Oh, Legolas, I don’t know what to...” you went to say, holding his hand with both of yours. You were truly starting to get overwhelmed with happiness and relief.

“Oh, shove it, pixie!” Gimli shouted from behind Legolas. He, too, stole the snarling elf’s place, chivalrously removing his helmet as he did so. “Lass, I know I may not be your usual type, or blonde, but I am asking for your hand as well. I can offer you so much in Dwarven society. The women are strong, and you will find ranks in them! Your child will be given an equal chance, no matter the gender, to be themselves! Life in the halls is a true marvel—”

“Enough, the both of you!” Boromir shouted next. He tugged Gimli by the beard and threw him away. “Y/n, you and I are both humans. I understand you and our shared culture better than anyone else here! Please, nothing would make me happier than to provide for you as my wife. Not to mention, the child will look most like me, racially-wise.”

The hobbits all looked between each other with shocked smiles, intrigued by the situation, and Gandalf and Aragon merely shook their heads.

Legolas grabbed hold of Boromir’s shoulder and stood him up. “Race has nothing to do with it! If we’re really going to narrow this down to looks, I am the tallest! That is highly desirable in a husband! Y/n and her child will live a wonderfully secure and safe life with me. You need to back off.”

“Why don’t you make me?” Boromir bit back.

Before a fight could break out between the two of them, Gimli hopped into the middle and added his own string of harsh words.

The three suitors of differing races soon began to bicker between themselves, leaving you sat on the log very stunned indeed.

However, after a long while of listening to them argue over who gets to marry you, you put up your hand and silenced them. Although, it took a good few shouts until they shut up completely and curiously blinked down at you.

“Boys. Boys! BOYS!” Once the attention was on you, you spoke again. “I am so incredibly flattered by your equal devotion, it has truly made me feel better about everything, but...do I not get a say in whom I marry out of everyone here?”

Legolas moved his body slightly, so he stood facing you straight. “Well, whom do you choose, my lady?”

Frodo had backed off entirely, but shared a lipped smile with you, ultimately letting you know the offer was still on the table regardless. Boromir, Gimli and Legolas all stared at you optimistically, leaning forwards as they waited for your reply.

Stumped by so many choices, and considering you didn’t even know this would be a part of your life plan up until five hours ago, you went with the smartest choice; waiting.

“These are all very early days…” you began. “I’m very overwhelmed by all the offers, and still getting used to the idea of motherhood, and now marriage—”

You took a calming breath.

“You’re all so sweet, and I truly appreciate your support, but…could I perhaps sit on it for a while, and return with an answer at a later time? This is a very big decision, as you can all imagine.”

They quickly agreed, and nodded their heads vehemently.

“Take all the time you need!” they said reassuringly, in one form or another.

That night, they all waved sweet “goodnights” over their shoulders to you, and even gave up their cloaks and packs to create what they deemed the perfect “mother’s nest” for you to sleep on.

It was all very sweet, and warmed your heart. However, although half the problem was solved, you were presented with another; who on earth were you going to choose to marry and raise your unborn child with?

Actually, the more you thought about it that night, as you fell asleep with nine friends protecting you as you slept in the middle, like a herd of animals keeping their mother-to-be safe, the more you realized you already knew exactly whom you wanted to live with.

[bukojuiice]

˗ˏˋ@bukojuiice’s BNHA masterlistˎˊ˗

REQUESTS: [CLOSED]

© bukojuiice - all rights reserved. please do not repost, distribute, copy, or plagiarize my work. please ask for permission if you wish to use my work for asmr or for voice overs. thank you!

➸ Headcanons

♡ ྀ  “midoriya, bakugo and todoroki cramming school works with their S/O”

♡ ྀ  “baby it’s cold outside.” (katsuki bakugo christmas hcs)

♡ ྀ  “going to Universal Studios Japan with them”  

♡ ྀ  “how you spend a virtual valentines date in quarantine w/ them” 

♡ ྀ   what happens when the bakusquad babysits Katsuki’s daughter? 

♡ ྀ     i like you a latte. (Coffee Shop AU! Headcanons)

♡ ྀ what they would be like as disney princes

♡ ྀ their wedding day with you

♡ ྀ the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine

♡ ྀ  the kinds of movies he’d watch with you.

♡ ྀ when he does the lip bite

♡ ྀ  when they read self-insert fanfiction of themselves

♡ ྀ cat ears or maid outfit?

♡ ྀ     how dekusquad + bakusquad comfort you after getting your heartbroken

♡ ྀ   mha boys accompanying you to buy lingerie

➸ Izuku Midoriya

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  I will hold on to everything we got. A quitter, regretter and forgiver is everything I’m not.

(↳  unprompted and unexpected goodbyes are the worst. how are you going to be able to tell izuku the fact that you were moving away from the city that the two of you have lived in, grew up in, and soon became the place where the two of you fell in love with each other? how could you let this precious cinnamon roll go?)

♡ ྀ  she’s not afraid of scary movies, she likes the way we kiss in the dark.

( ↳  it is your weekly movie night with Izuku and co, but whilst waiting for your other friends, you and your boyfriend had the most wonderful idea of watching a gory horror movie.)

♡ ྀ as the world caves in

( ↳ no one else could ever carry the burden that Izuku holds in his hands. But when a girl from his past helps bring him to a realization, he begins to contemplate on whether or not sacrificing everything that you love to become a hero is worth it all.)

➸ Katsuki Bakugo

Cuddle Buddy! (Social Media AU)

Katsuki’s Convenience (Social Media AU)

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  thank god for plot twists like you.

( ↳  Katsuki barges in your dorm room after class to see you crying in your bed with your phone in your hand… but why exactly?)

♡ ྀ  the s in studying stands for sexy times (implied smut!)

( ↳  katsuki is helping you study for your finals. but to no avail, none of the articles you were reviewing were processing inside your mind at all. until, katsuki had thought of a great idea to help you study. a spicy one at that.)

♡ ྀ  you fell from the sky into my lap (smut)

(  ↳  You and Katsuki become one as the two of you get in the mood with the music on his Spotify playlist.)

♡ ྀ  my world is changed and it’s cradled by the comfort that is you.

(  ↳  After receiving a quarterly report on the status of your hero internships and as a 3rd year student of UA Academy, your day is ruined as soon as you began to read it’s contents. Your explosive boyfriend does not want to see you like this. But how can he possibly cheer you up?)

♡ ྀ   like the soul of honey 

( ↳ Christmas finally approaches and your daughter, Hikari, can’t wait to spend it with the best parents ever.)

♡ ྀ  you got questions, i got answers tonight, babe. (smut!)

(  ↳ you and the bakusquad drag bakugo to a short vacation after such an intense week of hero work, much to his annoyance. however, his stress and pent up energy was more than you expected, so you knew exactly how to release all his frustrations.)

♡ ྀ  fix you. (studio ghibli au! princess mononoke au!)

(  ↳  Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.)

♡ ྀ  25 lives (time traveler au!)

(  ↳  After losing the love of his life in a brutal villain incident, Katsuki Bakugo had lost a part of him. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back. He became the shell of a person he once was; fiery, bright, and the driven #2 Pro-hero in the country. He continues to live life with guilt, all hope still lost until he is gifted a time device that can transport him to parallel universes, dimensions and alternate worlds, where he begins his quest to find his lost love. Crossing a hundred of realities and living twenty-five lifetimes just to bring her back into his arms. )

♡ ྀ to the most explosive boy i’ve ever loved before

(  ↳  six letters. one for every boy you’ve ever loved. The letters for your eyes only, filled with all the words you could never say. until, one day, they start appearing out of nowhere into your life again, and your love life goes from imaginary to out of control.)

♡ ྀ  lovesick girl

(  ↳  your planned birthday surprise for katsuki takes a turn for the worst when you’re suddenly struck by a cold, prompting your dynamite boyfriend to take care of you and shower you with love and affection on his special day.)

♡ ྀ nicotine and faded dreams  (smut!)

(  ↳  Fame. Success. Glory. Bakugo’s had and seen it all, being a part of one of the biggest bands in the world. All he’s ever wanted was (Y/N), who comes back into his life just in time for the last leg of the band’s European tour. Bakugo thought that after making it big he wouldn’t have to face the muse for their most successful song any time soon. But a trip to Venice organized by scheming band mates has him stuck in a car with that very same muse. or Rock bands, a love Bakugo’s been trying to run away from and a cleverly schemed road trip: what could go wrong?)

♡ ྀ the morning afterglow

(  ↳ basking in the hues of wonderment that is the morning sun with your explosive boyfriend by your side was truly a dream. lingering in the bed much longer was an absolute must. these are one of those days.)

➸ Todoroki Shoto

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  when you kiss me, heaven sighs.

( ↳  you and Shoto arrive in the city of love.  the day seems perfect until things go awry.)

♡ ྀ   a love like the movies

(  ↳    Shoto spends his only day of rest and relaxation by watching iconic tv shows and sitcoms with you.)

♡ ྀ   my youth is yours.

( ↳  shoto todoroki entered college with one thing in mind; be able to graduate and follow in his family’s footsteps. however, college had different plans for him. and meeting the one he would spend the rest of his life with was one of them.)

♡ ྀ merry go round of life (studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au)

( ↳ shoto todoroki is a magical prince who yearns for freedom. with the entire country against him, and the freedom he ever so wanted barely in his grasp- he seeks solace in a girl who works in a hat shop. she was his comfort in days full of disaster and war. and ever since then, he has finally found a reason to live.)

♡ ྀ something in the rain 

( ↳  you and shoto were once childhood best friends and sweethearts who had lost touch and communication. 12 years has passed since then, and on a fated summer day in june, there was something in the rain that brought two lost souls back to each other’s arms.)

  ♡ ྀ  are you feline what i’m feline? (smut!)

( ↳ blessed with a quirk that can temporarily transform any human being into any living thing they want through the means of potions and concoctions, you brew up a cat girl potion to surprise shoto for your second year anniversary. however, some accidents and mishaps happen, and you’re welcomed home by a handsome cat boy instead.

♡ ྀ  if i could tell her

( ↳  in where shoto todoroki is hit by a sudden realization that the love of his life was right in front of him all along and all it takes is for her to cross the crossroads for him to finally realize.)

♡ ྀ written in the stars

( ↳ shoto takes you out on a special date. a date that entailed love in all it’s bare simplicity. love in all it’s highs and lows, and love that is worth being written in the stars.)

➸ Eijiro Kirishima

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

(  ↳ It is your 1st year anniversary with Kirishima. With no idea how celebrate it, Kirishima asks for the aid of Bakusquad and they have very interesting ideas and plans to say the least. Will he succeed and plan a perfect surprise for you?)

[marvelouslytrekking]

The Escaped Bride {2/?}

Ch 2: The Escape

Pairing: Bucky/reader Summary: You’re family has decided that you have had plenty of time to move on, but you don’t want to move on, so they make the decision for you. One that you cannot live with so you have to hatch a plan to get out of another arranged marriage.  Word Count: 1153 Warnings: Arranged marriage, prob a swear word or two A/N: Okay, so here is chapter 2! I really love this story so far and I hope you all do as well! This will be slowish update most likely but I have a plan for the whole story basically so it might go faster! We will see! Feedback feeds my soul, so please tell me what you think!!

Series Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist

You were heartbroken, James had promised you many things, two of them being he would never leave you or break your heart, and yet he had ultimately done both. The worst part was you couldn’t be angry at him, you knew he hadn’t had a choice and you also knew that he had probably fought with everything he had to try to come back to you.

While you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at James, you were angry at everyone else. You hated the navy, the pirates, your parents, just anyone you were able to direct your anger at you would.

You spent most of your time grieving. You knew you should start to move on, it had been two years somehow, but you couldn’t find anything that interested you anymore. You would spend your days reading, or writing. You only socialized when your parents made you but you were always as short as you could be with people.

You could tell that you were losing your ability to use your grief as an excuse. Not just your parents, but others were getting tired of your behavior and everyone was telling you to move on, even his parents, but you couldn’t, he had been your everything.

“You called for me?”

“Yes, we need to discuss something.” Your father told you. You knew whatever it was going to be you weren’t going to like it but you followed him and sat down across from him. “It has been two years now since James passed away. Your mother and I are worried you are on a path of not moving on.”

You sighed, you were expecting this conversation sooner rather than later but you were hoping for a little more time before they asked you to start letting men court you. “I know, It’s just been hard to move on.”

“I know,” He nodded, “That’s why your mother and I have found someone else.”

“What?” You asked in disbelief.

“He is a lord, and very well off.” Your father mostly ignored your protest, “He has more status than James did so in many ways this marriage will be better.”

“More status?” You were shocked, “I loved James! I will not be marrying some lord who I do not know just because he has money.”

“It is already arranged.” Your father said with authority in his voice. “The wedding will be on the 18th.”

“That’s in two weeks!” You felt like your father had punched you in the gut. He might as well have but you weren’t able to even process what was happening.

“Yes. Your mother and I have gotten most everything planned.” He told you, “He will give you a good life.”

“Any man who agrees to marry someone before ever meeting them is not a man I want to be near.” You threw back.

“I will hear none of this!” He shouted. “You have no choice, you will marry him. That is the end of this discussion.”

You left without another word, waiting until you made it back to your room before you broke down into sobs. You couldn’t stand the thought of betraying James by marrying another man.

It only made it worse when one of your maids informed you it was Lord Pierce, a man who was nearly the same age as your father and had already had two wives before you. The idea that neither of your parents thought it was gross to marry you off to such an old man made you sick. Not only an old man, one as horrible as Pierce, you had never heard anything good about him and you were now promised to him with no way out.

The one good thing was that your father hadn’t lied about them having covered all the planning. While you had lots of say in your wedding with James, they were making all the decisions for this one. You spent most of the time alone in your room trying to devise a way out.

It came to you one night as you were staring out your window towards the sea. The ocean would be your escape. You started to work on your plan. While your mother and father were busy planning your wedding, you were busy planning a way out.

Two nights before the wedding you retired to your room early as you always did. Instead of going to bed though, you finished preparing your bag. You changed into a servant's clothing that you had stolen a few days ago. You had been sneaking food from the kitchen over the last few days and had a small bag of supplies that would hopefully last you long enough.

The hardest part was getting out of your house without anyone seeing you leave. You waited until you were sure your parents had gone to bed, before opening your window. Being on the ground floor had always been beneficial and you slipped out easily. This hadn’t been your first time sneaking out, you had met up with James many times after dark but this had the largest consequences if you were to be caught.

You made your way to the docks as quickly as possibly. You let out a small breath of relief when you saw the boats lined up, you weren’t in the clear yet, but you made it this far. You took a moment to scan the boats before finding one that you knew you’d be able to sail on your own.

James had spent some time teaching you how to sail. He loved being on the water and wanted to teach you that love as well. You always were happy to learn anything, and had taken in everything he had told you.

You board a boat that you’ll be able to manage and work quickly to leave the docks and make it onto the water. You wanted to get as far as you could as quickly as you could before anyone knew you were missing. Or a fisher found their boat missing, you didn’t need that complication.

You allowed yourself to finally breathe when you looked back and the lights on the docks were barely visible. By the time morning had arrived, you weren’t able to even see them, which meant they couldn’t see you.

You had a moment of sadness as you realized you would never get the chance to tell your parents goodbye, or the few friends you still had. But just thinking of the marriage that was now supposed to be tomorrow, made the sadness disappear quickly.

Your focus now, was keeping the boat you were one afloat and finding somewhere you would be able to start a new life. You hadn’t really thought about what you would do, but you knew that it didn’t matter. You would do anything to not be stuck as a wife of a loveless old man.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What do you think of JM’s updated Spotify? I don’t normally read into things, but his song choices makes me sad. “At my worst” “I can’t be myself (excuse me while I cry) & “When was it over?” With the lyrics “was it that fight we didn’t have when I came in? Was it the first time you saw me drunk? Second time I said I’m sorry?” It sounds like a replay of Vmins dumpling incident and it worries me. JM looked off in the recent live, almost sad and pouty lately. Do you think I’m over analyzing it?

Admin 1: The short answer to this would be: yes, you are over analyzing things.

The longer one would be that, for example, Pink Sweat$'s At My Worst isn't a sad song, it's actually the exact opposite. It's a very cute and romantic song. Just look at the first verse:

Can I call you baby? Can you be my friend? Can you be my lover up until the very end? Let me show you love, oh, no pretend Stick by my side even when the world is caving in, yeah

I'd actually argue this kinda sounds like a mixture between Sweet Night and Friends when it comes to the sentiment of those words. I’ve seen some people even claim that this will replace Ed Sheeran’s romantic songs that have so far been used at every wedding ever because of how sweet it is.

Then we have Justin Bieber’s I can’t be myself which I believe you probably only looked at the title and jumped to conclusions because, again, this isn’t a sad song either. The lyrics are more about how Justin (or whoever) cannot be himself when you (I’d guess he likely means his wife) isn’t by his side, thus wanting to say that he is happiest and most himself when they are together. It’s sweet and lovely, not sad.

I could travel any place But without you, it's just runnin' around (Girl, I'm just runnin' around) They could open Heaven's gates But without you, I'm just stuck in the clouds (Yeah, yeah)

Lastly, from the songs you specifically highlighted, is Sasha Sloan’s when was it over? which yes, I’ll admit this one is a sad song about not being able to let go even though you know there is nothing left. The song though has a very calm sound, something you’d listen to in the evening, and something I could see both him and Tae like listening to, not because Jimin relates to the lyrics but because it’s simply a pretty song.

On my current playlist I have Stromae’s Formidable, a song about a heartbroken man getting wasted after a breakup. I’ve neither gotten my heart broken nor am I sad and yet I still love this song because it’s just a really good song. Sometimes that’s the only reason we need to listen to a song. Nothing more to it.

All that to say that I don’t believe there is any correlation whatsoever to be made here, especially since Tae and Jimin look more than happy in recent months (did you notice Jimin happily smiling at Tae during their most recent performance of Butter for Colbert at the beginning of their subunit dance?) and there is nothing that could indicate to us that something went wrong between them, or that Jimin could be sad or something bad going on with him. I mean, look at JKs playlist and the fact that he has Billie Eilish’s Your Power on it, applying your thought process, does that mean that JK is trying to tell us he went through something similar to Billie? That he is sad? Or do you think he simply recommended that song because he likes Billie’s music? The last one seems the most likely, doesn’t it?

So, to sum it all up, there is absolutely no need to worry, seriously.

Admin 2: In the evenings, when it's very quiet and my big city has fallen asleep, I really enjoy listening to Sweet Night. I also like to go back to 4 O'Clock from time to time (although I know I will cry). Does that mean I missed my chance in life to be with my beloved? No and no again! I've never been in a situation like this, I wasn't unhappy or "fragily" in love, no one abandoned me or cheated on me. I listen to these songs because I love them. They match the mood of the evening and calm me down despite the sad lyrics and let me fall asleep peacefully.

I am a person who listens to a lot of songs from the past; Songs that remind me of situations, remind me of years of studying, enable me to relive certain situations.

Dear Anon, thank you very much for your question (confession), but I admit that I see it as "looking for some kind of backdoor" so to speak, a way to create a loophole and deny everything after all.

I don't know who you are, I don't know if you really are a Vminnie, but I think you are clinging to any possibility of a situation to undermine the reality or existence of Vmin. That's how I see it, if I offend you, I apologize. The more we get new materials about Tae and Jimin every day, like them being cute in the McDonald's behind the scenes, the more such "sad thoughts" we get sent to us through asks every day.

Firstly, I'm not sure if Jimin (and Taehyung) is fluent enough in English to capture the accuracy of the lyrics and understand its message. Of course, you can translate it, but for that to happen first the song has to catch your attention, and usually it's the melody and the overall feeling of a song that does it, and not the lyrics. And that is the point!

I think Jimin picked these tracks because he simply likes them. Perhaps he first paid attention to the melodies and the mood and only then understood the lyrics sometime later.

A lot of people (including me) hear some kind of song instead of another because they are intrigued by the melody or the association with a particular situation. The mood that fits the moment, the weather, the time of day or many other things which lead us to choose this song and not another.

Maybe Jimin and Taehyung were driving at night and listening to the song on the radio, maybe they were in a romantic mood back then, just having dinner together or taking a half bath together. Ha ha, I know I am deceiving and romanticizing what I am saying to reflect the vast possibilities and reasons why you listen to music like this and no other. Jimin putting together this list of songs for his spotify playlist doesn't mean he listens to it all the time, every day, but that he has the songs he likes on his list and chose the ones he wants to hear right now, or that he thought ARMY could like.

Of course, I'm sure he listens to very different songs during exercising than the one lying in bed before falling asleep. Maybe he's listening to this list, just like we hear the songs from BTS? We know individual words after repeating them several times, and we generally know (as we decide to read translations) what is going on in a particular song, but we don't understand all the words accurately. Not all of us are in the same situation as described in a particular song, but still we listen to it because we like it, because BTS sings it, because we are waiting for a solo from Suga etc. etc. etc.

For some time now we have been seeing (I see) Vmin happy, even very happy, as if "after the night the day came and after the storm came peace" (by the way, these are the words of one of my favorite songs), I have the impression that Vmin have finished fighting all their fights and they are just happy now, finally. Taehyung looks like a million dollars, he's literally glowing and far more lively than he was a year ago.

To him, Jimin is like smooch like butter and someone he likes the most. Taehyung is a handsome and hot chingu for Jimin who he also likes him the most as well. Tell me dear Anon, where is there room for fear and doubt in the love they share? Why and on what basis do you suspect that Vmin has broken up, or is having problems, or that either of them is unhappy? Besides, if one of them has an off day or is simply tired after a packet schedule and thus doesn't look as animated, why is that immediately read as "Jimin and Tae aren't together anymore" or "they are drifting apart" when chances are far more likely that it has nothing to do with their bond? Based on the playlist, or based on Vlive, or maybe based on both of these events, what is the correlation?

I've seen the Vlive. To tell the truth, I didn't see a sad and pouty Jimin there. Instead, I saw Taehyung smiling and content, and Jimin smiled and admired Tae's new hairstyle. I watched the latest BTS interviews. Vmin stared at each other, Jimin stared at Tae with a big smile that only grew in size and the two communicated with their eyes.

Jimin caressed Taehyung's back/butt in the Butter MV making Episode and said there’s butter here (though it wasn’t translated in the subs).

In the McD ad they were together and standing next to each other, even with Jimin resting his head on Tae's shoulder and then Jimin eating Tae's chicken nugget from his hand.

Honestly, I don't know what else Vmin would have to do to keep people from doubting their bond and happiness. They have shown us so much, I think they have reached the limit of what can be said without saying it bluntly.

Most importantly, this is a very interesting situation as we have never had as much "dubious news/content" (not meant negatively at all) as we have now after Taehyung's interview with his ‘confession’/clarification about Sweet Night. To me it smells a bit like someone wants to cause fear or plant the seed of doubt, or be like a trojan horse with the underlying idea of course being that "well...we must be wrong" even though there’s no reason for us to believe/think that.

[annabethy]

under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 8: merry ex-mas

Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiancée,, percabeth

Percy’s heart just about stops the second he sees his ex at the Christmas Party.

He has just walked into the room, prepared for this to be a good night, but then all hope going flying out the window when he catches the red flash of hair that’s painfully familiar. He really shouldn’t be surprised considering all their friends were the same, but he didn’t think they’d both be invited.

It’s been a few years he supposes, but he still can’t bear to face her. It wasn’t like their relationship ended in a hostile manner or anything. She had just dumped him, and he had been heartbroken, and they haven’t spoken since.

That being said, he thinks it’s totally appropriate when he walks right back out the front door of the party and holds himself against the wall. He’s sure the people that pass by him think he’s going insane, but he can’t bring himself to really care because his ex-girlfriend is in there, and if she sees him alone, she’ll no doubt make a jab at him, and that just cannot happen.

Percy doesn’t move for what feels like eternity. He’s thinking of every possible solution, but the only one that comes to mind is flat out leaving. The only problem is that people have already seen him and greeted him, and it would make its way to her that he left, and then she’d know. Percy curses himself for getting into this situation in the first place. There’s no escape at this point, and it kills him. The only way out would be to do something stupid like fake being engaged, or—

Percy starts, standing straighter.

He could fake being engaged.

Honestly, it’s the best chance he has of not being made fun of by his ex. But Percy knows her too well despite it being years. It would bother her to no end to see him with another girl, much less engaged to another girl.

About a million things could go wrong, but he thinks it’s brilliant.

As Percy begins to through the groups for anyone that looked willing to participate in plan fake-engagement, he can’t believe that this is what his life has come to. He should be ashamed of himself.

Oh well.

People walk into the party in groups or pairs, and it makes his life much more difficult. New York in the winter is freezing, and his fingers are becoming painfully numb. He’s about to give up as his body starts involuntarily shivering, but then there’s finally a girl approaching the front door by herself, and this is his only chance.

She looks really pretty, too. She’s wearing a short black dress with a pink wool coat reaching to right below the length of the dress, and her hair falls in blonde ringlets down her back, ruffled in the wind. She would be the perfect fiancée for him.

“Uh – hi,” he says, stepping a bit into her path. It’s admittedly not the best thing to say to a stranger you’re about to propose to, but how else is he supposed to start this conversation?

“Hi,” she answers cautiously. She moves a bit to his side as though she’s about to step around him, but he moves to follow her. The glare she gives him has him jumping back in alarm. “Can you move?”

“Yeah, I will,” he says. “I just have a quick question, if that’ll alright.”

There’s a pause as she doesn’t answer. Her grey eyes trace over his, questioning, and then she says, “Do I know you?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Then I’d appreciate it if you could move so I could, you know, get inside.”

Maybe she isn’t the best fiancée because he can already tell that her patience is thin in the first two seconds that he’s been speaking to her. Still, he’s out of options.

“I need you to marry me.”

She blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“Just for tonight,” he promises.

“Uh, the length of the marriage is not my concern here.”

Percy glances over his shoulder, making sure no one was listening. This didn’t seem like it was going to be ending in his favor, and he did not need an audience for that.

“My ex is in there,” he pleads. “If I go in there, she’s going to have some rich boyfriend on her arms, and I’m going to look like a loser. She likes to insult me, according to my friends, and it would really make her mad if she thought we were engaged.”

She chokes. “Your solution to seeing your ex is to fake an engagement?”

“I never said I was smart.”

“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever head.”

Percy’s moves out of her way, conceding to the fact that she wasn’t going to be of any assistance. Surprisingly, she doesn’t move.

“How do you plan on making it work?” she asks, crossing her arms.

“Are you considering doing it?”

“Oh, no, but I want to see just how badly this is going to go.”

“I’ll be honest. I didn’t think that far.”

She laughs, covering her mouth. “She’s going to know.”

“Not if you help me,” he pleads. “We’d be a cute couple, too…”

She grins, sensing the silent question. “Annabeth.”

“Percy,” he returns. “This is going to come off weird, but you’re super pretty, and she would not like that.”

“She’s the jealous type, huh?” Annabeth shifts on her feet, biting her lower lip. “I do love making people jealous.”

He claps once. “Perfect!”

“And if I do help you, what do I get out of it?” She smirks. “Besides a hot fiancé.”

“I’ll take you to dinner afterwards.”

“Hm. Where?”

Percy’s wallet screams as he says, “Wherever you want.”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.” She steps towards him and slides her arm into his. Percy is completely astonished that it worked, and as they step inside, he realizes how natural this feels, which is hilarious considering this is the least natural engagement there is.

There is a wave of warmth that washes over them, and there’s Christmas music playing in the background.

“So,” she starts, locking eyes with him. “Is there a plan?”

“The plan is to not fuck this up.”

“Foolproof.”

They don’t actually end up talking to anyone for a while. It turns out there weren’t as many people there that he knew as he thought there was. His ex is still there with her friends in the corner of the room, and Percy’s sure she’s seen him by now. There are eyes burning holes into the back of his neck.

“Who are we trying to fool?”

“Behind us. The girl with red hair. Her name is Rachel.” Annabeth outright turns on the couch to glance at her, not at all subtle, and Percy nearly shrieks.

“She was looking at you,” Annabeth tells him. “And now she knows we were looking at her,” he mutters. “Thanks for that.”

“What do we do?”

Percy blanks. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me what to do! I’ve never been in a fake relationship before!”

He gawks. “You think I have!?”

“This was your idea,” she accuses, but she slides in closer to him. Her body presses up against him. He tries not to focus on the curves he feels pressing into his body. Percy’s hand automatically goes to wrap around her waist and holds her in place.

It takes a while before they actually have to speak to anyone, and when they do, it’s not at all smooth. Percy’s bright red as he introduces her as his fiancée to a group of kids from his class, and Annabeth doesn’t even hide the laugh that bubbles out of her mouth. She seems to bask in his embarrassment, and it makes Percy feel a little insulted.

(Also a little endeared, for some reason)

“That wasn’t funny,” he says, avoiding eye contact after they leave.

“That was hilarious,” she disagrees.

“Shut up.”

“I’m not saying anything.”

“You’re laughing at me.”

“How could you expect me not to.”

Percy glares at her and is about to retort something, but then someone else is standing in front of him, and when he finally tears his eyes away from Annabeth, he is surprised to see Rachel standing right before him, an unreadable expression on her face.

“Percy,” she says, though her eyes are trained to Annabeth. “It’s been a while.”

He shifts uncomfortably. He had thought he wanted to make her jealous, but he had been so deep in conversation with Annabeth that he’s lowkey disappointed to be pulled out of it. “It has been.”

“How are you?” she asks, and Percy can sense the plastic tone of her voice. He hates it, and he hates the way she’s looking at Annabeth as though she’s ever had any right to judge.

Percy’s grip tightens on Annabeth. “It’s going pretty well. The wedding is only in a few months now, so that’s been pretty busy.”

He sees the gears turn in her head. “The wedding?”

Percy mocks a frown. “My fiancée and I are getting married. Haven’t you heard?”

“Of course I have,” she says, “I just didn’t hear anything about a wedding.”

Percy quickly learns that Annabeth is absolutely horrible at masking her emotions as she presses her face into the sleeve of his shirt and snickers. The lie is so obvious considering Percy and Annabeth themselves haven’t even heard of a wedding.

“Invitations were sent out months ago,” he says innocently.

“Oh? I was invited?”

Percy pouts. “Of course not. I just figured you would have heard.” The look on Rachel’s face is priceless. Percy doesn’t think him and Annabeth are convincing in the slightest, but it is pretty fun regardless. “I don’t think you’ve met my fiancée. Rachel, this is Annabeth,” he says, motioning to the girl in his arms. “Annabeth, Rachel.”

“Nice to meet you,” Annabeth says. She doesn’t sound pleased to meet her at all. She’s nothing if not a loyal fake fiancée. “Heard so much about you.”

“All good things I hope,” Rachel says.

Annabeth gives her a sympathetic look. “I wish I could say they were all good things, but you know how it is.”

“I know how Percy is,” she counters.

Annabeth laughs, and Percy feels tiny under her scrutinizing gaze. He didn’t know someone could disarm another person with just once glance, but here he was about to marry that person. He kind of loves it. “Baby, no, you don’t.”

Rachel looks like she’s about to open her mouth to say something else, no doubt a weak jab back at Annabeth, but then Annabeth turns to look at him, a soft smile on her face. “We should probably get going, yeah? We have the meeting with the wedding planner tomorrow.”

Percy decides to play along. “I thought we had the cake tasting in the morning.”

“The meeting is for the cake tasting, silly.” And next thing he knows, she’s pressing a sweet kiss to his lips, leaving him trying his best to not make it overbearingly obvious that his brain is going haywire. “Let’s go, yeah?”

Her face is close to his, and he can feel her breath on his lips. He wants to kiss her again, so he does. For the act, of course. “Let’s go.”

They stand up together, hand in hand, and they barely even glance at Rachel as they walk past. Annabeth calls over her shoulder, “It was nice to match the name to the face,” and they leave trying to maintain what little composure they had left.

The second they make it out of the house, Annabeth breaks down laughing, and Percy follows after her.

“Oh my god,” she wheezes. “That was amazing.”

“There’s no way she believed us,” he breathes out, ducking to rest his hands on his knees. “That was the worst performance of my life, and I was in theatre in high school.”

Annabeth laughs harder, wiping at the corners of her eyes. “Did you see her face?”

“Yes. I didn’t know someone could be so mean. She looked like she was about to cry!”

Annabeth shrugs, still stifling giggles. “Who cares. She’s never going to see me again anyways.”

That does bring Percy back down. It’s been maybe two hours since they met, but he’s loved every second of it. He wants to see her again, but…

“I guess I owe you that dinner now, huh?”

She runs her fingers through her hair. “You don’t have to.”

Percy swallows, looking anywhere except her eyes. “I want to.”

“Oh.”

Percy brings his eyes back to hers now and finds her looking at him with a smirk. “You’re laughing at me again.”

“Only because we’ve been engaged and you still don’t know how to ask me out,” she assures.

Percy brings himself to her. “Annabeth. Would you like to get dinner with me?”

“Depends on where,” she says teasingly.

“Anywhere your heart desires.”

She puts her hands behind his neck and kisses him once. “I’d love to.”

Percy thinks it’s a bit insane how everything has played out. They started with an engagement, and now they’re on a date, and he’s already falling in love. It must be something of a Christmas miracle.

[marshmallowprotection]

Being unrequitedly in love with your best friend is probs one if the worst things that can happen to you. Tomorrow, I'm going to watch her come down the aisle for someone else as her maid of honor. I already saw her in that wedding dress and I just burst into tears because of how beautiful she was and how much I longed to be the one, who she marries. I told her, that I cried because I'm so happy for her. I feel like such a shit person for lying so much to her. I loved her since high school, and... she and her boyfriend know each other for only two years. It's so unfair. And I feel like I'm a horrible person because of that. I have a very strained relationship with her fiance. I think he knows what's up. I just feel so bitter and angry around him, cause I feel like he took everything I ever I ever wanted in such a short amount of time. And yet... she loves him, not me. He makes her happy. My chest still hurts so much each time I see them kiss or look at each other like that. I thought the pain would go away as time goes by, but... I still love her, with all of my heart. I... don't know how I'll survive tomorrow. My heart breaks just thinking about it... Everybody around me already has a loved one, and even getting married while I... I never even kissed anybody. I just held hands, and it was with her. I feel like... it's my fault. Like nobody's going to love me that, and it's because I'm such an inadequate person. I know it's stupid... but I can't help it. It's so hard to resist the urge to just drown my sorrows in alcohol, until I can't feel anything at all... I'm getting therapy for this, but it's so hard when you're all alone. So far, I can control myself, but I'm so scared that I'll slip up. My parents were alcoholics, so I feel so disgusted with myself for having these thoughts...

Sorry for this... I'm just a huge mess right now, and I probs will get out of the wedding as soon as possible, cause I feel like I'll just burst into tears in front of her. It's her happiest day. I don't want to ruin that. My feelings are just a bother. I just... saw than one ask about another heartbroken anon with their best friend, and I decided to write to you for some reason. You don't have to answer that, if it makes you uncomfortable, really.

Unfortunately, I understand this feeling very well, Anon. First of all, I want you to know that it's not wrong to have feelings for anyone in your life like this. You cannot control your heart. It's going to do a lot of things that you can't control because the brain and heart aren't the same things, and they choose and feel from different perspectives.

We as humans cannot turn off our hearts, even if our brain wishes that we would be able to let go of things when it doesn't work out or when it winds up breaking your heart. I am sorry that you're feeling this pain right now. It's suffocating and isolating, I know.

You're not a bother. When you love someone, you want them to be as happy as they can be... even if that means that they are with another person. I know that hurts, but it means a lot that you want to ensure that she's happy. You aren't a monster. You're just going through a lot of pain right now. She loved you like a friend, and that's okay. That's a lot to have to accept in your life right now. Your love for each other is on different levels and that's okay. It may hurt right now but the hurt won't last forever.

Your love won't go away, but it will slowly shift over time so you can accept this fact and move on. I don't think we ever stop loving some people, and if that always sticks with you, that's okay. I promise. I'm aware that love is complicated. You love who you love. It's not wrong to love, and you're not doing the wrong thing. You're supporting your friend and stepping away somewhat because you're hurting. That's what you do when you're considerate... that's not what monsters or bad people do.

I think taking a break after this from her might help, not forever, just step back for a little bit and talk to her a little less. She'll be doing her thing anyway, and you can try to figure out how to get by in your own way. Talk to your therapist about the pain because they'll be able to get you some proper talk and resources unlike someone like me who can just empathize and say what I've done to cope before. You're not loveless, you're not going to be alone forever, but this heartbreak is going to take some time to work on, okay?

Don't give up on yourself.

[lizacstuff]

Selin is the worst, but that episode was good (ep 37 asks)

The last ask down below has spoilers for 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Selin should honestly teach a class on gaslighting because I swear I've never seen another character willing to manipulate someone THIS much just so they weren't happy.

Every time you think it’s not possible for her to go lower, she rents a backhoe and starts digging. 

They obviously never had sex in Slovenia, but she’s willing to lie and gaslight and manipulate him into thinking it happened when he was so out of it while recovering from injuries sustained in a PLANE CRASH and had amnesia.

So lets break that down. IF she had had sex with him while he was so sick, pain-riddled and groggy from a brain injury (and other physical injuries) that it’s now foggy enough for him that he doesn’t remember, that is rape. There is no way he could consent under those circumstances. Not only that but he had amnesia and had forgotten both that he had a fiancé and had kicked Selin out of his life.  Good grief, this woman is so willing to lie and manipulate him into thinking he’s the father, that’s she confessing to a rape that didn’t happen, rather than just living the truth with Deniz???

That is so SICK. 

This was a great episode, but if she doesn’t get what’s coming to her, I will scream. At least after this Serkan’s blinders will be off when it comes to her. (I mean it is pretty humiliating that she was engaged to a man who wouldn’t touch her, and Serkan is going around shouting that he didn’t touch her, but still, there needs to be more than that.) 

Anonymous said: they really threw me for a loop when they had eda tell serkan about the pregnancy like 2/3rds of the way through the episode. i was really expecting her to say it in her letter (btw, how heartbreaking was her letter jesus) serkan immediately denying it and saying it was impossible was exactly what everyone needed! i never had a doubt in my mind tbh.. but selin is REALLY psychotic by STILL manipulating him and the fact he was sick and out of it while in slovenia.

That shocked me as well. I didn’t expect it, though am glad they did it this way. I was thinking it wouldn’t be possible because I KNEW Serkan would be able to say “It’s impossible, I was never with her” and thought that would be the end of it, but this was well done. I know it was frustrating for some in the audience that Eda wasn’t communicating with him, BUT she eventually did. She ended up telling him the same day she was sure of the information. I think that is an acceptable amount of time. So there is growth there and she didn’t up and leave without him knowing her real reasons. Also we got the satisfaction of him saying no it’s impossible AND the angst of there being enough doubt because of Selin’s sick manipulations (and willingness to confess to raping him) that we got THAT letter and the magnificent end sequence. 

THIS is the good kind of angst. This is the good kind of drama. They’ve put us through weeks and weeks of bad angst and bad drama, so while this episode had heavy emotions hanging over it, it was far easier to watch than most we’ve had. 

I’m laughing that the writers finally pulled a top to bottom quality episode out of their bag of tricks (after weeks of failure) right as we’re on the verge of another writer shakeup. 

Serkan is back! That’s the character i love. We haven’t seen him since he said goodbye in 28.  I hope he sticks around.

YES! Hoşgeldiniz, Serkan Bolat!

This did feel like the old Serkan. He did a lot of things right this episode. I absolutely loved that through the whole thing he was focused on Eda and doing everything in his power to make her feel comfortable, safe and loved. She had just rejected, in front of everyone, his marriage proposal and yet he was only focused on making sure she was okay. He was so loving and the writers finally found the romantic robot within him, you know, the guy who spouts heart-stoppingly romantic lines without even thinking.  I was afraid we’d lost that guy for good.

Kerem was wonderful in this episode, he did such a great job. As did Hande, but while 29 was her episode, I felt like this one was his.  Serkan was on the edge of a breakdown the whole episode, he was frantic, he was in-love, he was heartbroken and thanks to Kerem’s performance we could feel all of it.

Oh, and on a side note, how I want that vacation in the Maldives for Eda and Serkan. They deserve it. 

Anonymous said:   THAT ENDING WAS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION HANDS DOWN BEST OF THE SERIES I FUCKING KNEW THEYD DO THE SOULMATE HEART THING!!!! IN FACT BEST EPISODE OF THE SERIES BC THE ANGST WAS SO GOOD WTF (okay maybe not the best episode ever but I’m not calm rn)

That ending was sooooo good, probably up there with 1, 5, 11 and 26 for me. 

The whole time, I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath. The running, Eda looking at the Little Prince book, her heart pains, Serkan in pain, but so focused on getting to Eda. I love, love, love the soulmate heart thing. The fact that she was experiencing pain, but she didn’t know why, that’s the goods right there.  

I also really love that while she was helped along by her heart pain, she made the decision herself to turn around. She’s ultimately following her own heart, which didn’t want to leave and knew it wasn’t the right course of action. We all know Serkan could have convinced her to stay if he reached her, but this way it’s fully her own decision and that will ultimately make them stronger.  

Anonymous said: They were really going for the ep 11 parallels this ep more than I thought they would. By Eda "feeling sick" and them bringing back The Little Prince.. The last scene was honestly soooo good. The emotion, the music, the angst of it all! Totally lived up to my expectations.. I just KNEW they would bring back the "connected hearts/soulmate" thing they had going on and have Eda turn around.. I'm so excited for what's next.. have you by chance seen the tattoo spoilers?

Definitely episode 11 feels, which was another episode with the right kind of angst. So many good Edser scenes in this episode. 

All the scenes in the loft were gold, in different ways. From the fun scenes of them in the kitchen making pizza (once again both Serkan and Kerem being willing to eat “after” someone else, lmao) to the heart-stopping romance of him taking care of her when she was sick and telling her he will love her forever to the angst and longing of their “last” night together.  I need to go rewatch all of them!

Yes, I saw those tattoo spoilers. An infinity symbol made from their initials E x S I ‘bout fainted when I saw them on their ring fingers!  And then in the episode when Serkan said “I love you to infinity.” Oh man, my heart.  

So what does this mean? Because we saw them with those tattoos while they were dressed in the same outfits from the airport. Does he recover from his PTSD/panic attack and they go directly to a tattoo parlor/wedding venue?  I mean... what is happening? Did they elope, or just get the rings as a promise?  

In any case, I think it’s amazing. What a wonderful way to solve the conundrum of their rings and which ones to use and worrying about them being cursed. Can’t wait to see how it comes about. 

[jojo-reader-hell]

hello !! may i request some cute ass secco shit 👉👈 like (chubby?) reader is just rlly down on her luck and not feeling good at all (i recently was shocked by an electric fence and am still recovering!) and he just,, snuggles w them and makes them happy :)? i LIVE for ur writing and i binged it all last night

bREH. I DIDNT READ THIS FULLY AND I REALIZED THAT YOU GOT SHOCKED AND IM LIKE WHAT????? DID U GO TO THE DOCTOR???? ARE YOU OK???? WHA WHA WHA WHA WHAAAAAA?!? IM FLATTERED BUT DUDE??????!??????!???? ARE YOU OK?????

It’s moments like these, when his pupils dilate and amethyst eyes soften into a deep indigo, that it almost feels like old times again.

“I have something for you.”

He crawls towards you. Even though he doesn’t seem to remember anything about you, something in his behavior towards you makes you hold out hope. Maybe the love of your life is still in there?

“Gimme.”

It’s his voice. That beautiful, gravelly voice that would wake you up in the middle of the night craving your love like water. Even though his sentences are stunted, a toddler’s vocabulary, his voice hasn’t changed a bit.

Maybe there is one part of him deep inside that your ex hadn’t managed to corrupt.

Your ex had already decided that evidently if you couldn’t be happy with him, you wouldn’t be happy with anyone. And it hurt all the worse because you loved him, stupid idiot that you were you still loved your ex unconditionally from the first moment you kissed him to the fifth time he broke up with you. Years of taking you back and dumping you violently only to knock on your door and take you back into the madness again, it was starting to take its toll on your mental health. Yet when he ignored you for months, a hell of a lot longer this time than ever before, combined with the things he’d told you about your weight and looks, you hated yourself for wishing he would chase after you and take it all back like he used to.

Eventually you did move on. It was hard. But you had no other choice left. You got tired of his litanies of lies. Your ex wasn’t going to change, not when the problems he had had been there since the beginning and stayed for nearly seven years. You moved on, heartbroken after he yet again told you about what he thought was wrong with you and why you needed to go. This time it was because you were too fat. No one would love a slob like you he said. Big words coming from a man with a PHD that still dyed his hair and did his makeup with dimestore product.

“Then I’m done with you, and this time I mean it!” You screamed at him. “I’m tired of never being good enough for a loser like you.”

Evidently he was a sore loser. Of course he was. It was him causing all this pain, you realized now that it never was you to begin with. He tried to take you back. Did his usual spiel of knocking on your door with flowers in his hands and a promise on his lips only to find himself speechless when your new boyfriend answered the door to tell him to back off. Your ex had a fragile mental state, a god complex that required constant feeding. This only made it worse, and your blatant ignorance of his obsessive behavior to win you back made him spiral out of control. The last straw had been when your new boyfriend proposed to you, taking a muscular knee on the pink sands of Spiaggia Rosa, a modest ring with a pink diamond in his large hands.

Your ex would have never done anything so extravagant.

“I… I made this for you…”

Your fiancé’s eyes were soft because you were holding out a small token to him. A folded paper ring, something you made from a scrap of lined paper you’d managed to fish out of the trash littering the prison your ex kept you in. You’d tried to reason with your ex, bargaining the release of your fiancé if he couldn’t let you go too. You were so proud of the way your lover fought back in the beginning. He scratched, clawed and bit like a rabid cat to protect you, until one day he came in crawling into the closet you were held hostage in, licking your ex’s shoes like a mongrel and honest to god growling at you like a beast. Whatever your ex did to him, be it give him a stupid new name to match his or something worse, you would never know. All you knew was that instead of holding you to his chest and murmuring about how much he loved you and would protect you until the day he died, he now threw sharp objects at you and bit at your skin hard enough to draw blood.

But sometimes, like now, he would come to you. Soft steps, gentle as a kitten walking on dainty paws, to accept what little trinket you gave to him. It was little things like this, folded paper, trying to remind him of the little gestures you did together as a couple. He was so dexterous with his hands, precise, wanted to be a visual artist or a film editor. Something he could do with his hands or his talent with precision. Whereas before your previous relationship would only spend time with you after pulling teeth, your fiance always came over to do something creative like this, teaching you to cook a new dish or to paint or to build, even teaching you new ways to show affection with your hands.

He taught you to make the paper rings before he proposed. Maybe to give you a hint? Excited when he saw the gleam in your eye as you successfully made a (rather wretched looking) paper ring during your date.

Now his eyes looked almost familiar. Pupils dilated, holding the paper ring in those familiar big hands.

“Pretty.” He told you, placing it on the finger where in another life you would have put a wedding band. “It’s pretty.”

You were so hopeful. He hummed, putting a battery back in a video camera and pointing it everywhere except at you.

He looked to you after a while, and you whispered his old name.

“Nuh-uh…” he grunted, then tapped his chest with his hands. “Secco...! Secco!”

Your heart sank. After all you tried, it seemed that he’d never drop that new persona your ex gave him. At the beginning you’d press it, keep reminding him that he was yours and you loved him, but when it just ended up in you being hurt physically and mentally, you stopped.

What can you do? What else can you say? Your life is this now: existing in this closet and being tortured in the worst possible of ways, and there’s nothing to make the one you love come back. He’s trapped in that facade.

The world is hopeless. The world is dark and there is no light to be found.

You want to let it swallow you whole, until you feel something wrap around you, a whimper in your ear of your name that you only heard when he wasn’t Secco.

“Please…” he murmured in your ear. “Secco… I’m Secco… Need to be Secco… For you. I love you. Need to… have to keep you safe…”

[frauleinfunf]

My dumb headcanons about Mrs. Levin and her side of the family

Bc I cannot stop myself and love thinking way too much about Kevin's family tree bc that's how I express my love for characters

-Deborah Rifka Rozowski was born in 1969 at Kings County Hospital

-She has an older sister named Nancy, whom she's thick as thieves with

-Their father was a very physically abusive parent and their mother had untreated postpartum depression that led to her attempting suicide several times during their childhoods

-Their father had threatened to put her in an institution more than once in front of them

-In addition to a rough home life, she grew up in Brooklyn during the Son of Sam killings, the 1977 blackout, and later the crack epidemic. So it's safe to say she survived by being tough and street smart.

-Deb also had a deep of love of books and writing. It started as a form of escapism, but also became an outlet for her to express her feelings in ways that weren't picking fights

-At 16, Deb's father kicked her out. Nancy immediately put her up at her apartment with her husband Ira, but Deb ended up leaving in the middle of the night. Nancy was already heavily pregnant and Deb didn't want to feel like a burden, but also just wanted to leave Brooklyn and New York and get as far away from her current life as much as possible. Of course being a teenager, she assumed this meant she had to cut ties with her mother and sister.

-Deb wandered for the next few years, hitchhiking her way across the country and making money through odd jobs, mostly pick pocketing and mugging people though.

-At 19, she was in a city just outside of LA called Bellwood, where she ended up trying to mug Devin Levin

-Devin Levin was a hard simper and ended up asking her out after disarming her.

-Devin helped her find a job and an apartment, and soon they start a relationship, marking the first time Deb had ever felt like her life was stable and happy.

-Devin eventually convinced Deb to reach out to her sister, who still had her old phone number (Deb was not expecting that when she agreed to give her a call). After yelling at her for having Nancy worried sick for years, she broke down crying so happy to know Deb was alive and well.

-Nancy did have to be the one to tell Deb that their mother died from suicide a year after she left.

-Deb, while still obviously upset, had kind of assumed that happened in the intervening years.

-Nancy stopped speaking to their father after their mom died, and Deb sure wasn't eager to start talking to him again. So at this point their family was just them and Nancy's husband and kids.

-Deb became a mom at 23 and married Devin at a courthouse while she was pregnant. Their honeymoon was a weekend getaway to Santa Barbara.

-Nancy flew out to California with her husband and now three kids in tow to stand witness for the wedding, and she flew back alone a few months later to meet her nephew and help Deb settle into being a new mom.

-Kevin was 2 when Devin died and Deb just kind of spiraled from there, starting to drink while she sat shiva for him.

-Deb moved back to New York to be closer to her sister again. Nancy and her family were living Yonkers at that point so that's were Deb found a place for her and Kevin.

-In addition to her grief and addiction, Deb's life was not made easier by the fact that she found herself having to work two jobs to keep a roof over their heads and having to leave Kevin with Nancy for most of the day.

-She showed up to her waitress job drunk and her boss scrambled to find someone to take take her home. A trucker named Harvey Hackett who was at the diner for a union meeting volunteered.

-Harvey came by the next day to check on her, and that's how their relationship started.

-Harvey signed her up for AA meetings and, once Deb was sober enough, started teaching her how to drive a truck.

-Deb may not have loved Harvey in the way she loved Devin, she never could've loved anyone like that again. But he was a good man who wanted to take care of her and Kevin, and at that point that was all she wanted.

-They got married when Kevin was 4 and as we know that ended up being the worst decision of Deb's life.

-Meanwhile, things in Kevin's life weren't all that great, even before Harvey started to fear him.

-Nancy's kids (Amanda, who was 7 years older than Kevin, Mikey who was 5 years older, and Josh who was 2 years older) did not adjust well to an aunt they only met once and her kid all of a sudden coming back into their lives, and in addition to that their mom was now practically raising their cousin alongside them.

-It certainly didn't help that Nancy almost immediately started including Kevin whenever she called her kids her munchkins, and even called him Kevala the way she called them Amala, Mikala, and Joshala.

-So already they were inclined to ostracize Kevin, and that only got worse once his powers started developing and regularly short circuiting their electronics.

-Things came to a head when Kevin one day followed them to their treehouse and Amanda pretended she was going to push him out, scaring him enough that he unintentionally shocked her and left a third degree burn.

-Nancy and Deb, after a long talk with a lot yelling and crying and cheesecake, decided it would be safest for Kevin if Deb found other babysitters, which she could now afford with her and Harvey being unionized truckers.

-Nancy was absolutely heartbroken about this and cried on her last day watching him. Amanda, still mad about her burn, convinced Kevin that Nancy was crying because she thought Kevin was a freak just as much as the kids did.

-Until he ran away, Kevin ended up having a long, long list of babysitters who were all scared off by his powers at one point or another.

-Eventually Harvey and Deb started working their schedules so that at least one would be home all the time, meaning they started to see each other much less.

-While Deb and Nancy understood that Kevin's power outbursts were something he couldn't control and completely tied to his emotional state, Harvey did not.

-It didn't help that Harvey and Deb had very different parenting styles in general, with Harvey believing Deb was too permissive and Deb believing Harvey's approach was "totalitarian dogshit"

-So whenever Deb was home Kevin, while still struggling, was a lot more happy and behaved than when Harvey was the one who was home.

-A lot of Kevin's acting out was him being a kid who's stepfather feared him and him obviously not having the tools to deal with that since he was like 7.

-The rare time Deb and Harvey had together was often spent fighting about parenting, and Kevin just came to hate Harvey's presence in general, especially with Amanda's words still in the back of his head after all these years.

-On that fateful day when Kevin accidentally destroyed the house, Harvey just completely lost it.

-He said Kevin's mother suffered so much because of him, because of the pressure of having a freak son.

-This, combined with his experience with Amanda, is what convinced Kevin that his mother was going to reject him.

-After Kevin ran away, Deb and Nancy's family searched everywhere for him. Now faced with the prospect of never seeing him again, the now teenaged Amanda, Mikey, and Josh were certainly feeling a lot of guilt for how they treated him as kids and how much they tried to ignore what they did as they got older.

-Harvey and Deb's divorce was very messy, to put it mildely

-Harvey, a smart man, moved to the other side of the country just to avoid Nancy and Ira, whom he now feared even more than Deb. With Deb, he had hurt her baby. With Nancy, he had hurt her baby AND her baby sister.

-Once Kevin reunited with Deb, he reunited with Nancy. He still has no contact with his cousins though.

-Why Harvey was chosen to be the one to talk Ultimate Kevin down instead of Deb or Nancy is a mystery only God knows.

[jtsfavslut]

Stages [5/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Three: Depression

- Stages 1

- Stages 2

- Stages 3

- Stages 4

Description: Yeimy finally has a conversation with Grayson, and comes to terms with herself that she had been putting off for a while. But what happens when she finally realizes everything is over?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.1k+

Work was something that was keeping you distracted from what was currently happening in your life. 

You were able to clock in and out whenever you wanted, but being in the office made you forget all of your problems.

You knew avoiding your feelings and problems was wrong, but you weren’t ready to come on terms with yourself or reality at that. 

The sound of your phone’s notification made you stop writing an article you were working on about fashion business etc.

Grayson Bailey :/

Meet me in my office at 6, please :(

You stared at it for a couple of minutes, debating whether or not you should go, or ignore him.

Me:

Kay. 

That was your response. A dry ‘kay’. You knew it annoyed him when people responded to him with that. Something about him feeling ignored, but you didn’t care. Not anymore. 

The sounds of ‘Summertime Sadness’ by Lana Del Rey, were blasting through your Jeeps speaker as you awfully sang along, meaning every word of it. (I was listening to this while writing this and all I can think about is the vine with the chicken wearing the red dress.)

“What is it, Dolan? Don’t waste my time,” you said walking inside his office his eyes scanning over your small Robbie wrap dress (this is the reference cuz I suck at describing) you were wearing along with your docs.

“Yeah, umm-” he said, clearing his throat and taking his eyes off your body. “I signed the papers,” he softly said, handing you the folder you had given him a few days ago. 

“Thanks,” you awkwardly said as your hand accidentally touched his while grabbing the folder. 

“Can we talk, Yeimy I-” he began saying before you cut him off. 

“There’s nothing to talk about Bailey, you banged my friend that’s it,” you sighed, getting up from your chair as your patience started to die down. 

“Yes, there is. There is Yeimy. There’s my side of the story,” he said making you roll your eyes.

“You have ten minutes Grayson, ten minutes,” you said looking at the overly priced Rolex he gifted you for your One Year Wedding Anniversary. 

“Okay. Thanks,” he said and let out a sigh before he opened his mouth to speak again. 

“I know nothing justifies what I did. At all” he said and you nodded your head taking a seat once again. “I don’t know why I did it. I don’t even remember how it started if I'm being honest. All I know is that it was really dumb of me, and that caused me to lose you, the only one that cared and loved me when no one else did,” he said and your eyes started to water as you tried your hardest to stop them from falling. 

“And she doesn’t compare to you. She doesn’t in any way. You’re better than her in every single way. God, you hated when I bought you stuff, saying how you didn’t want or need my money while all she wanted was things. And I was dumb, so fucking dumb Marie,” he said calling you by your middle name causing a tear to stream down your face. 

“Grayson-” you began saying before he cut you off.

“No, Yeimy let me finish. I know you don’t believe or trust me anymore but trust me that when I tell you that I love you is because I do. I love you with all my fucking life, and I never meant to hurt you. I never did. So I signed the papers. I signed the papers because that’s what you want and what you need.” he said and you looked up to him crying with red watery eyes and a frown.

“You were, and still are the reason why I’m here because you supported us-no me, you supported and stood by me when everything was going downhill, and you helped us bring the company back up. You stayed awake with me every night thinking of ways to attract business, thinking of new products, making ads, and articles, scheduling interviews and doing interviews just to help me and E,” he said. Remembering the many nights you and him stayed awake when Wakeheart wasn’t having a good time with the business. You did everything in your power to help bring the business back up, you promised him you would. And you did, in just a couple of months, Wakeheart’s sell rates were through the roof, just because of you. 

“I did it because I loved you. And I still love you,” you sighed, carefully wiping tears away, even if they were gonna continue to fall. 

“I don’t know what was going through your fucking mind Bailey, but at least you came to your senses now. Even if it’s too fucking late,” you said with a little laugh causing him to smile. 

“Grayson I’m always going to love you, but you hurt me. You hurt me in the way I was most scared to get hurt in. I’m a firm believer that once you love someone and it’s real, your love for them will never go away, you just have to find someone who you’ll love even more.” you said as he watched you with a pained smile on his face. 

“I don’t think there’s someone who I’ll love more than you,” he whispered and you nodded your head.

“Me too Bailey, me too, but I don’t trust you anymore and I can’t be in a relationship with you pretending I trust you when I don’t. Just because you hurt me doesn’t mean I need to hurt you,” you sighed. “Time will hurt and time will heal, it’s just a matter of patience and right now I’m running out of patience so I’m gonna go,” you sighed standing up before you fully broke down in front of him.

“Just remember that we’re still married by the church so thank the Catholic church for that,” you laughed causing him to chuckle.

“Why are you always funny, like it’s the worst time of my life and you’re making me laugh,” he asked while shaking his head with a smile on his face. 

“I’m a funny person Dolan. And plus you only live once so why waste my time being mad, plus I know I’m gonna be depressed later so YOLO,” you said with a peace sign a goofy smile on your face hiding away your crumbling heart.

“YOLO,” he whispered, shaking his head. 

“Take care of yourself, Grayson, I wish you the best,” you said walking to the door.

“You too Yeimy, I hope everything works out at Vogue,” he said and you nodded your head before walking outside and closing his door.

Hot mascara filled tears streamed down your face as you walked through the building and to your car. 

Once you got inside your car, you let out a loud sob as you slammed your hands on the steering wheel.

The realization just kicking in. It was done. Everything was done, you were no longer married to the love of your life, as you drove away, you drove away from the love of your life.

“BUT I CRUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN YOU CRY,” you shouted at the top of your lungs, singing along to 505 by Arctic Monkeys, your glasses hiding away your raccoon eyes caused by your ‘waterproof’ mascara which clearly lied. 

You pulled up to the beach with the same song on repeat, something about it makes you feel slightly better.

You got out the driver's seat and sat on your trunk looking at the ocean.

Letting out a sigh that everything was over. Not everything just your marriage. Because when you told him, that you were always going to leave and no one else would compare, you were admitting it to yourself as well.

Grayson always made you happy, just knowing you were in the same room as he made you smile. Grayson was, and will always be your everything when it comes to relationships and dating. He was your rock, the one who took care of you when you were sick, even when you thought you didn’t need anyone. He stole your heart the first second you watched one of their videos when you applied for the internship. He and Ethan were one of the nicest men and human beings you ever met, and when he would flirt with you, you’d blush like a psycho. 

Everything about him was so perfect, and your life with him was so perfect until he had to go fuck it up.

But you didn’t blame him for all of it. Ambar had something to do with it too. She was supposed to be your friend, hell you were the one that made Grayson give her the job. You vented to her about how you thought he was cheating on you, just for her to be the one he was doing it with.

You laughed at the thought of Ethan and Karina telling you she had bad vibes but you just pushed them away. Every time they told you that she did the same thing you did just two days after. If you got a new purse she would buy it the day later, a new dress? She was wearing it two days later. And when you would tell them about the things Grayson bought you, that you told him you didn't need, Karina would tell you about her angered facial expression and you would just tell her to chill. 

You thought it was sad and funny that you realized that she was trying to be like you in every way possible this late. You just thought she was inspired by you, but she wasn’t. Deep down in Ambar’s heart, she hated you. She hated how you always seemed happy. Hated how the way you would talk about Grayson made him seem like there was no other girl in his eyes that was as pretty as you. She hated how you were always a good person. Hated how you would help anyone, even if they weren’t the nicest to you. And she hated how simple you were. She knew Grayson would give you the world if you asked for it, and she hated how you didn’t take advantage of it. 

So she tried to ruin your life. Her jealousy got the best of her and she knew that by taking away the thing you love the most, it would balance out the universe and make you suffer. But she was wrong, because by trying to hurt you and being successful at that may I add, she lost a true friend, her job, her other friends. She lost everything leaving her even more miserable. 

But she got what she wanted. Because now you were sad and heartbroken. Your life is missing a big piece of it. 

You cried for three weeks straight. Every day before, between, and after work. You cried every day. Cried because you missed him. Because you missed home. 

You missed being around him. Waking up in his arms. His forehead kisses. You missed waking up to him blasting Lil Wayne in the morning when he went to work out in the basement. You missed joining his workouts for less than five minutes because it was too much for you. You missed hearing his loud voice. You missed his laugh. His jokes. His un-funny jokes that you would still laugh at because it was funny he tried. You missed him trying to speak Spanish. You missed the flights to Jersey and sleeping in the laundry room because he wanted his alone time with you. You missed the car rides with him that were filled with music. You missed falling asleep on his chest. Trying out his new recipes that were sometimes a fail. Making cookies or just baking with him in general. Going to restaurants with him. You missed him teasing you about the way you were moaning from his touch. You missed the way he made you feel when he was fucking all the knowledge out of you. You missed laying in bed with him. 

You missed him. 

It’s been almost a month since you last saw him and you were feeling as if you were going through withdrawals. 

Withdrawals because she took your drug away. Because the universe took your drug away. 

Withdrawals because he was your drug.

Grayson was your drug.

Stages 6

Tags:  @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @foxglovedolan @dolanissues @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan @beatement-l @graydolan12

[marshunter06]

Promise Me You’ll Say Yes

Summary: Promises are made to be broken, or maybe that’s not how the saying goes... What about till death do us part instead? A follow up to Promise Me We’ll Still Be Friends. Shout out to @ahdicrs for reminding me this sequel exists and of course for encouraging it, mad love to you (:

Courtney used to believe in marriage until her parents’ fell apart and she was left heartbroken after being embarrassed on live television. It took a long time of finding herself and love to make her believe in marriage again. Connor allowed her to see that being married wasn’t such a bad thing, so when he proposed she said yes, but then they broke up. It was for the best, she knows that there’s only one person in this world for her and he was standing in her kitchen making her a cup of tea while she’s sorting through her mail.

Duncan places a kiss on the top of her head as he sets her drink down on the coaster next to her. She smiles at him, seeing that he finally remembered her words about staining their dining table. The smile fades quickly as she flips to the next piece of mail, she sighs as she opens the envelope already knowing what it was.

You cordially are invited to the wedding of Connor and Lisa on June 8th

She stops reading after confirming her suspicions. Duncan’s eyes widen in surprise as he sees the invitation in her hands. Her reaction worries him, he didn’t know she kept in touch with her ex financé.

“You still talk to Connor?”

“Only once more after I gave him back the ring. He was the expert witness for the prosecution on the last case I worked on. He caught up to me afterwards and we talked a little.”

“Why would he invite you to his wedding then? That’s really weird.”

“Because I broke my promise.”

“I promise to cherish you even more after we’re married.”

“I don’t think that’s possible Connor, you spoil me already.”

“I love you Courtney, and I stand by my statement.”

“Hm… that hardly seems fair.”

“Well then promise me you won’t break my heart.”

She laughs at that wondering what was going through her fiancé’s head. She already agreed to marry him, which he knows is a big deal to her given her past.

“Promises are broken all the time, I’ve seen too much of it in the courtroom.”

“Then there needs to be consequences.”

“What kind of consequences did you have in mind?”

“If you don’t think I’ll cherish you more after we’re married then I’ll do whatever you want no questions asked, but… if you break my heart then you’ll have to break Duncan’s too…”

“...what?”

“I’m kidding Courtney. I know you’re just friends. How about you have to go to my wedding if you don’t end up being the bride?”

“You’re so certain you’ll find someone after me. Wow, I knew your heart wasn’t in it.”

She says this with a smile teasing her soon to be husband, and he takes it as such. For Connor she would always be the one, even if he wasn’t the one for her.

“...so are you actually going to go?”

“I’m not sure honestly… but most likely yes.”

Duncan didn’t like the sound of this at all. The worst case scenario popped into his head as he imagines his Princess objecting to the wedding and running off with the groom to elope. What would he do if she really did leave him?

“Duncan…?”

He reacts without thinking. He grabs her hand pulling her body into his holding her tight. She stiffens as she tries to figure out what the heck her boyfriend was doing. His next words silenced any other thoughts she would have spoken.

“Marry me Court.”

She must be asleep, no way was this happening. Maybe she needs to get her ears checked. Was he seriously proposing to her while panicking about whatever ridiculous scenario he envisioned in his mind? She tries to push out of his reach, but he only holds on tighter afraid she would leave and never come back.

“Duncan! Let go of me!”

“Not until you promise me you’ll say yes.”

“No! My answer is no!”

She manages to get free as his grip on her loosens. He could feel his heart break as she crossed her arms with a frown on her face. She didn’t mean that… right?

“Princess…”

“I meant it. No, I’m not going to marry you.”

“It’s because of Connor isn’t it? I knew it! That bastard! I swear I’m going to…”

She stops his ramblings as she pulls him close to kiss him. It shuts him up immediately, he tries to deepen the kiss, but she moves away once more leaving him hanging.

“Princess…”

“I said no because you have no intentions of marrying me. You’re just saying it because you think for some goddamn reason I’m still hung up on Connor when I literally dumped him for you.”

“That’s not true! I would marry you!”

“We’ve never even talked about marriage before.”

“We did, back when we were first dating. You asked me where I saw us in the future. I always intended on making you my wife.”

He was right. They did talk about it when they first started dating back when they were sixteen, he was the first person to make her believe that it could actually work. Now though, she wasn’t so sure. She loves him, she does and she knows there’s no one else on this earth for her, but could he promise her the rest of her life?

“You don’t believe me.”

“It’s not that I don’t… I’m just not sure if I want to get married…”

“You were going to marry Connor.”

“Maybe not, honestly I think I would’ve broken it off before it actually happened. You know how things turned out with my parents. Can’t we just be happy the way we are?”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Really? You’re not mad?”

“I mean I’m a little disappointed, I won’t lie about that, but as long as we’re still together it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s on paper.”

He smiles reassuring her that he was alright with changing his plans for their future, all he wanted was her to stay by his side. She was surprised he gave up so quickly, a part of her was almost disappointed, but did she even want to get married? She loves him, she really does, and she knows they’re back for good this time. So why was she hesitant about the idea of making it official that they would spend the rest of their lives together?

Evidently she was still bothered that she couldn’t sort out her own feelings. She continued to let it occupy her mind while she was at work, even though she has a strict rule about not letting personal matters affect her on the job. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, she doesn’t see the door open leading to her almost getting hit if not for the hand that reached out to pull her back just in time. She was immediately jolted back to reality and as she turns back to thank the person who stopped her from humiliation, she sees a familiar pair of deep ocean blue eyes staring back at her.

“Connor? What are you doing here?”

“Apparently I did so well as your expert witness, I was contacted again by one of your colleagues to help in their case. It’s nice to see you again Court.”

His smile is genuine and freely given without any malice hidden behind his expression. He truly was happy to see her, and she finds herself smiling back thinking the same. Sure they didn’t work out, but that doesn’t stop them from being friends right?

“It’s nice to see you too.”

“I’m sure you’re busy, but if you’re free, I’d love for you to meet Lisa. You can bring Duncan too of course.”

It seems the men in her life were just full of surprises, she wasn’t sure how to respond to that. On one hand she wasn’t lying when she thought of Connor as a friend, but she also thinks it would be extremely awkward for all parties involved if they all were forced together as if they were just regular old friends catching up. He sees her hesitation and immediately backs off, he always did know where she drew the line and he respected her boundaries.

“Sorry, that was probably a weird request, we don’t have to do that. You’re still going to come to the wedding right?”

“I am, I already got the time off approved.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you there then!”

He waves goodbye at her before walking off towards the back of the building to speak to her coworker. She lets out the breath she’d been holding since his unannounced presence, it’s odd this feeling she has regarding her ex fiancé. Maybe Duncan had a point when he said being friends with an ex lover is a terrible idea. Still, Connor’s a good man, and she was the one who broke his heart.

Read the rest on ao3 since I’m biased towards that site (:

[massivelycreepypineapple]

In Sickness and in Health

Aziraphale x Gender-neutral human!Reader x Crowley 

Request: How about Crowley and Zira proposing to the human!reader? You can throw in a teeny-tiny bit of angst (probably regarding human lifespans) or keep it 100% fluff, either way you will be my favorite person forever 

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this really cute idea!! You are my first request and I’m really excited (and hella nervous) to give this to you! I hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if it’s not what you were hoping though.

Words: 1573

Crowley and Zira were on a mission. It was THE most important mission of their lives and they just had to make sure everything went as planned. Even stopping Armageddon didn’t hold a candle to this one. What was the occasion for the mission? Well, it was their three year anniversary with (Y/N) in a week’s time and they had an idea on how to make it special. They’ve been scheming for a long while now and (Y/N) was starting to get suspicious of them. Crowley and Zira could see them feeling left out when the two would excuse themselves from a date earlier than planned or cancel plans often. It hurt the two to see their loved one like this, but they had to be secretive if they wanted to propose to (Y/N) in the way they deserved. Crowley and Zira have been married for quite a while now and when they met (Y/N) they knew they were someone they needed and wanted like they wanted each other. So now they felt it was time they brought (Y/N) legally into their relationship.

After a week of planning, they finally got things ready. Now all they had to do was bring (Y/N) to the designated place and have a wonderfully romantic evening before popping the question. So that evening, they made their way back to the bookstore where they knew they’d find them.

(Y/N) was nestled in a corner reading a book by the fireplace when their demon and angel showed up beside them. Crowley quickly picked the book of their hands and pulled them up and kissed them senseless. It was a contrast to Zira. He was more gentle (though there were times he threw gentleness to the wind.)

(Y/N) laughed at the sudden affection from the two of them. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Happy anniversary, sweetheart”, smiled Zira.

“So you idiots finally remembered” (Y/N) rolled their eyes. “I was afraid I’d have to kick you both out for the night.”  

“We never forgot, love. Angel and I are very sorry we’ve been so distant with you.”, frowned Crowley.

“Yes, it’s just that we’ve been planning to get tonight right for the past week. But we promise it’s over now.”, said Zira.

“You guys were planning for tonight? You didn’t have to do anything special, I would’ve loved it if we all just cuddled up on the couch with hot chocolate or something.”

“Just come with us, will you. Quit being a baby.” Crowley rolled his eyes but winced as Zira elbowed him.

(Y/N) smirked at him. “Alright then, I’ll go change.”

(Y/N) was used to being left alone at the bookshop because of Armageddon, so they kept quiet when Crowley and Zira spent the last week being all weird. But being alone had its cons. They’d start thinking about things that would cause more pain to all of them. Armageddon made (Y/N) realise their mortality. It came crashing down like a meteor and it hurt. They always knew that this relationship is more permanent to Crowley and Zira than it was to them. There could never be a “forever” in the way it was for the two celestial beings. But they still put a smile on their face whenever they were around. The angel and the demon were worth all the pain (Y/N) went through.

They found themselves near the woods and (Y/N) was getting anxious. “How much longer? Why are we in the forest? Is this some weird ritual I should know about?”

“Calm down, (Y/N)” Zira said. “It’s not far and it’s definitely not some ritual.”

(Y/N) huffed at that but went along anyway. But when the trio reached the clearing, (Y/N)’s breath was taken away. There were fairy lights hanging from the trees and a stack of cushions against a trunk and loads of comfy blankets big enough to fit three people comfortably. There was a picnic basket with all of (Y/N)’s favourite things and soft music playing in the background from the speakers. It was the most beautiful sight and it brought tears to their eyes.

“It’s so beautiful, I love it so much” Whispered (Y/N) afraid to disturb the setting.

“We love you, (Y/N)” Hugged Zira from one side while Crowley hugged the other. “Let’s eat! I’m feeling rather peckish!” said Zira making everyone laugh.

They had a wonderful dinner laughing and joking around. It was one of the most romantic things they’d done together in a while and the trio couldn’t be happier. Crowley watched as (Y/N) and Zira danced to the music, sipping his wine. He then got up and walked towards them and Zira caught on to what he was doing and stepped away. They looked at each other and gave a slight nod. (Y/N) was confused about what was happening and then watched on with wide eyes as both Crowley and Zira got on one knee and each pulled out a ring.

It was Crowley who began to speak, “(Y/N) (L/N), you are the most wonderful human we have ever known and heaven and hell have got nothing on you. The day we met you when you stumbled into the shop all wet from the rain was the day we realised that something was amiss in our relationship.”

Then it was Zira’s turn, “You looked so beautiful that day and you’ve been taking our breath away since. We were so very happy when you felt the same for us. These three years have been the best years of our lives and we want to spend the rest with you.”

Then both of them together said, “Will you marry us?”  

(Y/N) had tears falling down their face. “Crow, Zira…”

They never thought someone would love them enough to want to spend their life with them, let alone TWO celestial beings. With that thought, things went south for (Y/N). They’d never get to spend eternity with them. They’re human after all.

“What’s the point? You’ve had each other for 6000yrs and more, while I get you two for maybe 60 if we’re lucky. How is that fair? You’ll never get to grow old with me. It’ll just be me getting closer to death while you two watch on. So tell me, what’s the fucking point?”

Crowley and Zira were taken aback and left speechless in the worst way possible. Of all the things to go wrong with their plans, they did not consider human mortality. Throughout their relationship, not once was this brought up. It was almost as if it wasn’t true. But standing here this evening underneath the blanket of stars, reality crashed on them with a force.

“(Y/N)…” Zira whispered, heartbroken. (Y/N) had tears running down their face at this point, lips trembling. Crowley shut his eyes tightly. It was breaking his heart to hear something he never considered.

“Exactly… there is no answer to that, is there?” (Y/N) whispered, their voice cracking.  

“No!” Crowley exclaimed taking everyone by surprise. There was a newfound determination in his eyes along with a slight glare. “There is a fucking point, (Y/N)! And the point is that we love each other. We may only get 60 years with you, but those 60yrs will be the goddamn best years of our lives if it’s the last thing I do!”

“Yes, I agree with Crowley, (Y/N)”, Said Zira with a weak smile. “I’d rather spend 5yrs with you as opposed to none at all.”

(Y/N) gulped. They didn’t know how to react. “I love you both so much” (Y/N) whispered, holding both their hands. “I know 60 is better than nothing, but some days I can’t help feeling sad about it. Especially after Armageddon and you two being away for so long. It’s so unfair!”

“We’re so so sorry about that, my love”, said Crowley. “We love you ever so much. If you say yes, we promise to always be here right by your side no matter what. And if you say no, we’ll still be here.”

“Forever and always. Even when you’re old and can barely walk, we’ll be here holding you.”, added Zira.  

“Forever and always is not such a long time.”, said (Y/N)

“Today is what matters, (Y/N). It’s what counts. Not what will happen tomorrow or day after or 60yrs.”, smiled Zira and making them smile a little. There was silence before…

“What about planning for the wedding? We can’t not plan caz we decided to go with the flow”, (Y/N) grinned shyly.

“D-does that mean-?” Asked Crowley with wide eyes

“Yes! My answer is yes! Always yes! I can’t think of anything better than being married to you both” Grinned (Y/N)

Crowley and Zira each put a ring on each ring finger and then pounced on them at the same time, squishing them to death.

(Y/N) grabbed Crowley and kissed him hard and did the same to Zira. Crowley and Zira looked at each other with such love and adoration and kissed each other. This was the best night of their lives so far, and they couldn’t wait to make more best nights together. Who knows, within 60yrs they could find a way to keep (Y/N) with them forever. 

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.

Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while

What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same

What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.

What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory

Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same

Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.

Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like

Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago

What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault

How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy

Who last called you sexy? i dont remember

Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part

Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am

Do you have a motto? nah.

Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school

Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook

Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games

Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope

Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it

Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe

Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no

When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this

Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not

What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count

Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced

What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.

Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not

Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope

What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood

Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that

How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years

Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed

Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it

How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time

Have you ever been robbed? no

Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good

Have you ever dumped anyone? no

What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water

Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same

What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well

What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.

Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild

Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited

And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.

How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment

Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others

What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science

What subjects do not? MATH

Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.

How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting

What did you do? watched tv and went to work

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no

Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.

Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4

Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several

What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.

Are you a high maintenance person? nope

The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night

Have you ever been heartbroken? yep

Who did that to you? my ex crush

Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah

The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo

The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.

The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker

The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow

The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night

The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.

The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.

Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep

Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot

Does your car have a backup camera? nope.

Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested

Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart

Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope

Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry

Have you ever pole danced before? no

Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.

Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row

Are your parents supportive of you? yep

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, arsistiel

For @arsistiel. I hope you like this! I debated for a while where to go with this but I tried to lean into the drunk fluff and though it's not post-wedding fluff, it is pre-wedding fluff. I hope you like it!

Read On AO3

*****

A Night Out

After Magnus had declared his intent to stay away from alcohol, Alec had been determined to support his boyfriend and stay away from it too. He’d never liked alcohol that much anyway, so he assumed that it would be fairly easy to avoid drinking all together, like he had most of his life before Magnus. What Alec had failed to take into account was his siblings, more specifically, his siblings insisting that he had to go out to drink with them before he got married.

Alec had almost told them no but when he told Magnus about their offer, Magnus had smiled and told him that he should go. He said it was tradition or something and when Alec had complained about him getting to stay home while Alec had to go out, Magnus shook his head and said that was simply a perk of being an only child.

Now, Alec knew that technically warlocks could have siblings but he didn’t think it was quite the time to get into that just to prove a point. Besides, Alec knew he and Magnus were planning on taking some time off after their wedding. They were going to lock the door and let no one in at all. So, a chance to go hang out with his siblings before banishing them from contacting him or Magnus for some undefined amount of time didn’t sound all that bad. That was, until Alec realized that hanging out with his siblings meant hanging out with Clary and Simon too.

Now, Alec liked Clary and Simon. He really did. They’d grown on him. He liked that his siblings were happy with them and he liked that Clary kept Jace in line but when Clary and Simon were together, he had to admit that they bothered him a little bit. It didn’t help that Alec understood almost none of what they were talking about but still, Alec had thought it could be a good night. He’d have a drink and then he’d go home to his beautiful fiance and spend the rest of the night being the little spoon while he and Magnus watched that new show Magnus liked so much- the one Alec couldn’t stand but learned to enjoy anyway just because Magnus liked it.

It was a great plan, one that Alec had fully intended to stick to. That was, until Jace bought a round of shots and then another and then one more just to top it off. Shots didn’t really count as a drink, Alec figured. He couldn’t just down three shots in a matter of minutes and then run out the door to go to his soon to be husband. So, after that Alec had ordered his one drink and by the end of that one drink, he was too drunk to remember the plan he had in the first place- the one that got him home to his lover early.

Jace ordered him another drink after that and who was Alec to refuse it? That would be horribly rude and Alec was not rude that much anymore. He accepted Jace’s drink offer and when he was then pulled to the pool table, Alec couldn’t really say he was leaving until they finished the whole game, even if the game itself made Alec think of nothing but how pretty his fiance was and how fast his heart had beat in his chest when he and Magnus had stood here together so long ago.

Pool reminded him of Magnus. Alcohol that made his face scrunch up reminded him of Magnus. Clary and Simon talking about mundane movies reminded him of Magnus somehow. He just kept thinking that Magnus would know those movies and after a while, Alec found himself pressed into Clary’s side, lamenting to the smaller redhead about how perfect Magnus was and how truly, he couldn’t deserve him, could he? Clary insisted that he could and Simon jumped in to tell Alec that he and Magnus were perfect together. He even compared them to some fictional couple Alec didn’t know and wasn’t sure he wanted to be associated with but still, Alec found himself a little touched. He and Magnus were perfect together, weren’t they?

It wasn’t too long after that drunk Alec decided that he needed to call Magnus. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say to him, only that he needed to call him and he needed to hear his voice right now. Maybe, Alec had wanted to tell him about what Clary had said or maybe, he’d just desperately wanted to hear his voice but either way, it wasn’t until Magnus picked up the phone that Alec realized his mistake. It wasn’t until Magnus answered, his voice just as beautiful as Alec remembered, that Alec realized he was the worst fiance in the entire universe.

Magnus wasn’t drinking anymore, he remembered suddenly. He’d wanted to stay sober and Alec had been so determined to support him and do it too, so what had happened and what had possibly possessed Alec to get this drunk and then call him?

He couldn’t even hide it anymore or sleep at the institute so Magnus didn’t have to deal with him. The second Alec spoke, Magnus was going to know he was drunk. He was going to hear the slur in Alec’s words and the emotion in his voice and he was going to know exactly how horribly inconsiderate Alec was. So, Alec decided that he wouldn’t speak. He decided that he’d sit there in complete silence and maybe, Magnus would assume he’d called him on accident and hang up but when a soft sob broke through Alec’s lips before Alec could stop it, he thought it really gave away the fact that he was on the other end of the phone, listening.

At least, he assumed it did because it was only a matter of seconds before Magnus had asked if Alec was alright, portaled outside the bar and then been at Alec’s side, looking exceptionally confused as Alec clutched his phone tight and cried. Now, he really couldn’t hide it. Magnus could see him and Magnus was so smart. Magnus was the smartest person Alec knew. He’d created potions, invented portals and he’d studied quantum physics. There was no way Alec would ever convince him that he was anything but completely wasted right now and when he started crying even harder at the thought, Alec knew it really gave away the fact that he was loaded. Part of Alec knew that he wouldn’t be crying like this if he was sober and that he should try to stop but he just couldn’t. His thoughts were a mess, a mess of reminders that he had failed Magnus when he’d been so determined to stand by him and support him without ever needing to say it.

Magnus was touching him instantly. One of his hands was pressing so soft on Alec’s shoulder, his other hand gently trying to coax Alec’s wet face up until he could look down into his eyes. “Alexander, what happened?” Magnus asked, his face full of nothing but concern.

Alec was not one to cry. He’d only ever cried in front of Magnus when his siblings were hurt and even then, he only cried after he’d let it all build up so much that he was completely unable to contain it. He was not one to cry in a bar for no reason. Except, apparently drunk Alec was exactly that type of person.

“I’m sorry,” Alec rushed out, not even sure if he was apologizing for being drunk, for crying or for Magnus having to come here to get him like he was a child. It was possible he was crying for all three.

Magnus’ painted fingers gently brushed Alec’s tears away, making tears flood Alec’s eyes once again. His touch was so gentle. He was so nice. He was so fucking pretty. Alec couldn’t believe that the man before him was in love with him and that this man loved him so much that he was willing to marry him when he’d never married anyone before. Even sober, the thought would have made Alec teary eyed. This man was going to be Alec’s husband and if there was ever a reason to drunk cry in a bar, it was that.

“Why are you sorry?” Magnus asked, a small smile flickering on his lips. Clearly, he’d recognized at some point that Alec wasn’t crying because something horrible had happened. Clary and Jace were sitting behind them, watching. Simon and Izzy were still across the bar. If something had happened, they would be concerned but they weren’t. Clearly, something horrible hadn’t happened in the time since Alec went out. He wasn’t crying because of anything that would normally make him cry. He was crying because he was drunk and that was a feeling that Magnus happened to know all too well.

Alec didn’t find anything about the situation very entertaining. Feeling his heart swell with love for Magnus only reminded him of exactly why he’d been crying in the first place. “I wasn’t going to drink,” Alec admitted softly, frowning into Magnus’ palm where Magnus was still holding him. Alec didn’t seem too inclined to lift his head from Magnus’ hand and let him have it back but Magnus didn’t seem too concerned with getting it back anyway.

Instantly, Magnus looked confused as he took in Alec’s words for the first time. “Why?”

Alec found himself frowning even harder into Magnus’ palm, struggling to get the words out of his mouth. He knew he was the worst fiance. Magnus just didn’t realize it yet. “You’re not drinking,” Alec managed out at last. “I was trying to support you. I wasn’t supposed to get drunk but Jace bought me a drink and then another drink and I was playing pool-” Alec’s words broke off and he found himself staring up at Magnus heartbroken, waiting for him to realize what he’d done.

Magnus’ eyes went wide as Alec rambled out his explanation. The moment he realized what Alec was trying to say, his expression melted. He stared at Alec like he was the most wonderful thing he’d ever seen but Alec didn’t see that. He was too busy convincing himself that Magnus was about to break up with him, call off the wedding, maybe even just tell him how disappointed in him he was, which would feel just as bad as any of those things.

“Alexander,” Magnus hushed softly, gently stroking his thumb across Alec’s cheek. “Just because I’m not drinking doesn’t mean you can’t. I’ve had centuries of drinking. You’ve gotten drunk what, twice?” Magnus cocked his head with the question but he knew the answer was yes. Alec had drank quite a few times but very rarely had he gotten as drunk as he was now.

Frowning, Alec nodded.

“Okay then. I never expected you to stay sober just because I am.” Magnus smiled and after a second, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against Alec’s nose, making the man scrunch his face up in response.

For a moment, Alec stared, still uncomprehending of Magnus’ words. He’d been so convinced Magnus would be upset with him. He’d been so mad at himself. The thought of Magnus not caring was incomprehensible. The most important part of staying sober was having people around you who were willing to do it with you, not to tempt you and to support you instead. Yet, here was Alec sitting in a bar drunk, not even weeks after Magnus announced he intended to stay sober.

“It’s very sweet that you wanted to support me,” Magnus continued as he watched the gears turn in Alec’s head, his fiance visibly trying to make sense of what Magnus was saying and failing. “But it’s about time I have to tuck you into bed and not the other way around, hm?”

Instantly, Alec knew Magnus was talking about the night at the Institute, when Alec had intended to propose in the first place and Magnus had a drunken breakdown that ended in Alec holding him while he puked and then tucking him into bed.

“That was different,” Alec said instantly. Magnus had lost his magic, his apartment, everything. He’d been so upset. That was very different from Alec getting drunk for no reason other than the fact that his brother had encouraged him to do so. “I didn’t want to get drunk,” Alec continued, still desperate to try to explain. “I was going to come home tonight and spend time with you and now-” Alec broke off, not even able to finish his own sentence. Now, he was too drunk. Now, he and Magnus couldn’t relax together tonight. Alec would probably throw up or pass out and it was too late to take any of it back.

Instantly, Magnus was pressing a gentle kiss against Alec’s hair, moving closer to him to rub his back soothingly. “Darling, we’re spending time together now and I get to see you drunk. I’m certainly not upset about this turn of events. It’s a win-win for me.” Magnus pressed another kiss to Alec’s head, feeling his boyfriend curl into his touch. “You haven’t ruined anything,” Magnus murmured, somehow knowing the exact words to say to sooth all of Alec’s anxious thoughts. “Let’s get some water in you and then, maybe we can see how good you are at pool with a few drinks in you.”

Instantly, Alec perked up at that, peering up at Magnus’ face like he was trying to gauge if Magnus was really moving on that easily, if he was really forgiven. “I already played with Jace,” he announced, after he finally seemed to decide Magnus wasn’t mad. “I’m not good,” he continued unceremoniously.

Magnus pulled away laughing, keeping his arm around Alec’s shoulders as he waved for Maia to bring over some water for his very drunk fiance, who was now grinning at the sound of Magnus’ laugh like he’d managed to make a miracle happen.

“You’re sure you’re not upset?” Alec asked finally, after Magnus had already coaxed him into drinking a full glass of water.

“I’m not upset,” Magnus promised, leaning in to press a real kiss against Alec’s lips for the first time that night. “You’re quite adorable when you’re drinking, Alexander,” Magnus said as he reached out and gently pinched the side of Alec’s face, making the man scrunch his face up and prove Magnus’ previous point: adorable. “Even if you get all sappy.”

Alec leaned into Magnus’ hand again, though this time he didn’t leave Magnus’ palm soaked with tears. “You want to stay for a while?”Alec asked finally. “If you want to go home, I’ll go home too,” Alec promised.

For the first time since he’d portaled there, Magnus lifted his head and took his attention away from Alec to look around the bar they were in. Clary and Simon were huddled around the jukebox, arguing about what song to play next even though it seemed like they were playing the same song over and over again. Jace and Isabelle were sitting together, Alec’s drunken parabatai shouting something to Izzy about how he in fact could do a backflip over the table if he so pleased but he didn’t want to right now. Isabelle seemed to be insisting that it would be rude of him to do so but also insisting that she didn’t think he could do it at all, which was most likely going to end in Jace feeling the need to prove himself and try it.

Magnus looked back to Alec, unable to keep the soft smile off his face. Years ago, the thought of being in a bar all night unable to drink while everyone else did so would have seemed like torture to Magnus. Magnus used to make fun of Ragnor on the nights when he’d gone out with him and Catarina and chose to stay sober but right now, Magnus thought he understood.

Soon, he and Alec would be getting married and though Magnus was sure there would be many other nights they’d spend out with their family, this was one of the last chances they had to do it before they were husbands. Somehow, that felt significant and looking around at their friends and Magnus’ soon to be brother and sister in law, Magnus couldn’t think of a better way to spend the night.

Later, he would tuck his fiance into bed and in the morning, he was sure he’d be helping Alec nurse one of his first hangovers but tonight, Magnus would enjoy his drunk boyfriend for a little while longer. He didn’t think Alec would be drinking the night of their wedding. Magnus wouldn’t be mad if he did but he had the feeling that Alec would want to enjoy every second of that day without something dulling his senses, especially considering the long night they were planning on having.

It might be a while before Magnus got to see drunk Alec again and he was not going to let that go to waste. At the very least, he needed a few photos and at least one video before the night was over. “We can stay for a little while,” Magnus said as he reached out and grabbed the almost empty glass of water. “Why don’t you drink that and then we can go see what stupid decision your parabatai is talking about?”

Alec reached for the glass so hastily that he almost spilled it across his chest but Magnus didn’t even mind when he had to reach forward to help him. This adorable clumsy man was going to be his husband in a few short days and taking a glass from Alec’s hands, so he couldn’t drop it with his very well developed shadowhunter reflexes…. Well, it didn’t dampen Magnus’ mood at all.

Catarina had always said that if you could stand your partner when they were drunk and you weren't, that’s how you knew you were meant to be. Helping Alec walk to the table without stumbling over his lanky legs, Magnus had never felt more in love. Even when Alec threw up and Magnus had to declare that it was time they headed home- Magnus found that he couldn’t wait to marry this man.

Magnus didn’t need any more confirmation that he and Alec were meant to be but not being grossed out by his throw up was an amazing sign. Especially when Alec scrambled to apologize after, insisting that he hadn’t known he was about to throw up and declaring that like Magnus, he was never going to drink again.

Magnus loved him so much.