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#i thought for SURE why else would everything is a million bucks open AFTER the main storyline when the cutscenes have all been seen
v41entine · 1 year
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So no cutscene viewer?
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nyctophiliq · 1 year
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✮ — MAKING OUT WITH WIDOWMAKER
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CONTENT WARNING . . . afab reader, suggestive — lowercase writing intended, making out, widowmaker is very handsy or something like that, more hints at amélie than widowmaker, it’s kinda soft and fluffy
wc ; 763
MOSS' NOTES . . . here you go magie mage, sorry it took so so long!
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she was beautiful like this, soft and sweet with her bitter lips tasting of the red wine she had been sipping against yours. she was everything to you, but you were also everything to her. you were two parts of the same whole, and sometimes that made it complicated. she loved you, and against all odds she loved you so much, even if she hadn’t yet figured out how to love herself after the horrible things she had done. that’s why the thought alone sent shivers down your spine when she asked if it would be okay for her to kiss you.
the problem was, you were so fucking turned on right now, you weren’t even thinking straight. it felt like everything else had fallen out of focus, leaving you just focused on this woman and nothing else. there were no other feelings in you, no thoughts about anyone but amélie and all you wanted to do was take her as far away from her demons as possible, keep her all to yourself until she is ready to fight on her own terms.
you were hesitant to kiss her back; it seemed like every time she started kissing you, you would be able to feel her teeth against your tongue. your eyes were closed so you didn't see it happen at first but after a few seconds you heard that familiar voice and opened your eyes. “you don't have to be scared of me.” she said, smiling at you while caressing your cheek with her fingers. you knew she would never hurt you, not in a million years, she had confessed to it so many times before that it seemed impossible to see her as a predator in any sense.
"i know you wouldn't." you reassure her, moving further up in her lap, your chest flushing against hers before your lips meet in a heated kiss. you felt her hands on your back and her fingertips digging into your skin before she started running them through the length of your hair making you gasp involuntarily at the sensations. your hands moved from hers to cup her face, pushing her body against yours to make sure you both fit perfectly. she moaned slightly as she pulled away from you, her breath fanning over your cheeks. she looked down at you and smirked before giving you another deep kiss. the butterflies in your stomach went wild at the sensation and your heart beat faster each second you spent with her. your hand moved from her face to the side of her neck before tangling itself in her locks. you pulled her closer to you and moaned again, this time louder. she let out a low chuckle which only made you want her more.
 "you sound so cute." she mumbled against your lips before continuing to make out with you. her hands found their way under your shirt and began roaming your back making your hips buck towards her. she hummed into your mouth, pulling away for a minute before pressing herself against you again. her arms wrapped around your waist and her fingers gripped your sides tightly as she kept kissing you. your breathing turned into gasps as her tongue entered your mouth. she sucked on your lower lip and you bit down softly to deepen the kiss. 
you couldn't help but moan as you felt her nails dig into your back. her kisses got rougher as she moved from your lips to your neck, sucking there lightly and leaving hot hickeys on your skin. your mind became hazy as she worked her magic on you. your breathing became heavier as your legs started shaking. your hands were starting to go numb as she continued to move her hands over your body. you could barely hold yourself together as she finally pulled away from you. her eyes were glazed as if she was in a trance and her pupils were blown wide open. her lips were swollen and red, her hair was messier than ever. it was all because of you; you made her do that.
"fuck," she breathed out in that lust rid, french accent, and your insides fluttered. her piercing yellow eyes stared into yours, moving between your lips and sight radically, unevenly, as if she was using some kind of code asking you if it was alright for her to continue. you gave little thought to it, nothing further than what was in front of you, nodding your head for her to do whatever she pleased because you could never oppose her.
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harryspet · 3 years
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please don’t bite | p.parker, s.rogers, b.barnes
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[Warnings] peter parker x reader, dark!steve x reader, hints of dark!natasha/dark!bucky x reader, vampire!steve/bucky/natasha, vampire au, vampire blood addiction, withdrawals, kidnapping, dubcon, intoxicated sex, oral sex (female recieveing)
A/N: hello, it’s been forever! I was in the middle of writing this when @cherienymphe announced her  “Cherienymphe’s 5K Twilight Renaissance Writing Challenge” so I decided to join in! She’s one of my favorite dark writers so please check her out if you haven’t. 
In which addiction leads you into a den of vampires. 
taglist: @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes  @watercoolerpaint @disaster-rose @slutforsebstan
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word count: 3.7k
You piled all the dollar bills you had in your pocket on the table, “There. We can just use this.” You plopped down beside your boyfriend on the couch, fully feeling the headache you’ve had for the past two weeks. It was like your brain was pounding against your skull and sending painful waves through your body. 
“This is twenty bucks and a … grocery store coupon for … shampoo,” After counting it, Peter flicked the money back onto the coffee table, leaning back with you. You tossed your legs over his lap and he wrapped his arm behind you, “So we have fifty bucks between us … great.”
“That’s enough, right?” You asked, barely able to hear yourself think through your headache. 
“It’s like two-hundred just for a small vial,” A shiver ran through your body and Peter pulled you closer. Not only did the heat not work in the shoebox you two called an apartment, you were starting to get random chills and it was another rough winter in New York. 
“Fuck,” You cursed, “Fuck, fuck-”
Peter shushed you, “We’ll be okay,” Peter said, trying to be strong for the both of you though his body was punishing him even more than yours was, “I got a gig by the pier, and by the end of the week, we should have enough.”
Your breath hitched in your throat as you clutched his chest, “That’s too long. We’ll die before then.”
“We’ll be okay,” Peter insisted though he didn’t quite believe himself. 
Vampire blood was one cruel mistress. It was hard to remember your lives before you took your first sips of the addictive potion. You both had everything going for you, highschool sweethearts that became successful college students but that was all gone now. You can’t hold a job or go to school when you’re on vampire blood. The highs last hours and, when you have enough of it, weeks can go by without you noticing. 
“What was it like? Drinking from the vein?” You asked him, the taste of the blood was faint on your lips as you tried to remember the exact taste. 
Peter’s head tilted back as he stared up at the cracks in the ceiling, “Like Heaven on earth. Like eternal life …. like nothing any normal human would ever feel. So good … jesus.”
Sometimes Peter wished he never introduced you to the taste but he’d forget all about it when you were high together. The sex was unbelievable, vampire blood being a strong aphrodisiac, and your love felt even stronger, “I want to try it,” You thought out loud, “If I’m gonna die soon, I-I wanna try it.”
“You’re not gonna die. Our brains are just totally miswired right now,” Peter groaned, turning his face towards yours. He kissed your forehead and, for a moment, it eased the pain. You tilted your head up to kiss the sides of his mouth. He tilted his head to the side and you kissed deeply. He pulled away suddenly and his eyes gazed into yours, “What would you do?”
“W-What?”
“What would you do to taste it from the vein?” You swallowed and your throat ached. 
You nodded your head, “Anything. Oh god, anything, Peter.”
You’d sensed he’d had an idea and a weak grin began to pull at your lips. That quickly fell as Peter pulled away from you. You expected him to be excited but he was completely solemn, “I have an idea,” He said, “You can say no … but if you don’t say no, you have to promise that things will be how they used to be afterwards.”
“How they used to be,” You couldn’t even think that far back. You couldn’t imagine a single date, single birthday card or New Year’s Eve kiss while you were in so much pain, “Sure, Pete. We just need a taste a-and that’ll clear our minds and things we’ll go back to how they used to be.”
+
As if things couldn’t get any worse, your stomach growled. You’d gotten dressed up, put on light makeup, and styled your hair for whoever Peter had taken you to meet. You didn’t quite care anymore because your headache continued to cripple you over the past few days. 
You pulled your jacket tighter as you waited on the steps of the gentrified brownstone. Peter pressed the doorbell nervously, watching as you shiver in your small, black dress. Peter dressed in his finest slacks and button down but was very aware that he probably wouldn’t be the center of attention tonight. He reached out to grab your hand which you happily took. 
“Why is he making us meet him so late?” You whispered, shivering. 
“He’s a vampire,” Peter shrugged, “They’re like nocturnal, I guess.”
Peter had reached out to ring the doorbell again when the door suddenly opened. A red headed woman opened the door, her hair cut short and a sultry smile on her face. You could tell instantly by the shine in her skin and darkness in her eyes that she was not like you. 
“Peter,” She greeted, smirking, “You look … hungry.”
“And cold,” He added, sensing your uncomfortableness as she took him in like he was her prey. 
“Right, come on in,” Peter led you inside the expensive home and out of the cold winter. You pressed yourself closer to him, not only because you were still shivering but because you’d never been alone with a vampire, “Steve will be here any moment.”
The woman led you down a corridor and you passed modern art sculptures and other expensive decorations you didn’t quite understand, “Steve?” You perked up at the mention of someone else. 
“That’s, uh, who we’re meeting,” Peter said quickly.
“Unfortunately, I’m booked tonight. A sweet young thing I met a few weeks ago. British accent, total dreamboat, but Steve will take great care of you two,” She led the two of you into a dining room where wine and horderves were laid out, gesturing for the two of you to take a seat, “Let me take your jackets.”
You looked at Peter and he nodded, “It’s okay,” Hesitantly, you slid off one of your sleeves and you felt her eyes begin to burn into the skin of your neck. Your arms weak, you lifted it out to her and she graciously accepted it. Peter did the same, taking a seat and waiting for you to do the same. Your eyes were still on the mysterious woman until Peter grabbed your hand. 
“I hope to see you both soon,” She smiled again, leaving the room, “Keep your eyes on this one, Pete.” 
You turned to him, your eyebrows raised, “How do you know her?”
“That’s her,” Peter said, grabbing the bottle of wine, “I told you about the first time I tried it from the vein. I think she has a thing for young guys. Or young anything.”
As he poured himself a glass, you reached out for a cracker and tried not to eat too fast as you pushed them into your mouth, “Why’d she look at me like that?” You asked, covering your mouth. 
“You’re a virgin,” You almost snorted, “I mean, your veins are. You’ve never been fed off of.”
“Oh,” You swallowed, taking his glass from him as you washed down your food, “I don’t wanna be. That’ll hurt, right?”
“Don’t worry, that’s not what we’re here for.”
Feeling some of your energy return, you stood up from the dining table, deciding to look closer at all the artifacts, “Y/N, what are you doing?” Peter asked, his fingers rubbing his temples, “Sit down, please.”
“Why do they have food if vampires don’t eat?” You asked out loud, annoying him further. There seemed to be a million framed pictures on the wall and you studied them as you passed along. They seemed to transform from black and white to fully in color, polaroid to digital. 
“For their human prey, probably.”
“Prey?” A deep voice spoke up, surrounding the room, bringing Peter out of his chair and your head turning quickly, “That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?”
“Mr. Rogers,” Peter rushed out, and you wondered how he could muster up so much energy to be nice, “I didn’t mean …”
“No worries, I try to be polite but I am a blood sucking demon after all,” The blonde-bearded man smiled. He was so muscular, you’d pictured someone skinny and frail. “Won’t you introduce me to your …”
“Girlfriend,” Peter said a bit sadly. He wasn’t sad that you were his but that this was the saddest excuse for a date night, “This is Y/N.”
You raised a hand to wave but he crossed the room to take your hand. He kissed your knuckles, smiling charmingly as he looked into your eyes. Blue eyes, you weren’t expecting those either. Despite the porcelain skin he looked quite human. His suit was black, and his white shirt was pressed nicely beneath it, like he’d just returned from an important event. You smiled back weakly, “Pleasure to meet you, doll.”
“It’s … nice to meet you too.”
You felt Peter’s eyes on you as your hand fell back down to your side, “You two look like you’ve seen better days,” You moved closer to Peter because, despite his kind smile, you didn’t fully trust him. 
Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “Is it that obvious?” The nice clothes couldn’t hide the fact that they hadn’t had any vampire blood in almost three weeks. It was amazing that they were still standing. 
“I think I can help you both out,” Steve assured you two, “If you had enough of the horderves, you can follow me upstairs.” He turned and Peter grabbed your hand as you all left the room. 
“What exactly do we have to do … you know, for the blood?” Looking up at Peter, you worried that he was nervous for reasons that he was not telling you. Steve led you to the stairs and, as you climbed, you couldn’t help but look at all the photos that lined each wall. The upstairs wasn’t lit, making it feel like you were stepping into a story with a not-so-happy ending. 
“Peter didn’t tell you?” Steve asked, not bothering to turn around. He led you down the hall to what you assumed was the master bedroom. 
“Not everything,” Peter said quickly. 
You expected some kind of evil den but the room was quite normal. High ceilings, brown upholstered bed, a view of the neighborhood, and a fireplace. You and Peter stood awkwardly, looking around, as Steve made his way over to the fireplace. He leaned down to turn a dial and moments later, it sprouted with fire. 
“Peter,” You nudged him, your brows furrowed. He didn’t say anything which worried you more. Steve stood up, taking off his jacket which made your heart begin to race. Some of the fear disappeared quickly as he rolled up his white sleeves … exposing lower arms. 
Now, your mouth was watering, “There’s no need to worry, doll. I already promised Peter that no harm will come to the two of you. But you do understand that this is a trade? I give you my blood and you give me what I want.”
Peter opened his mouth to say something but you interrupted, “And what do you want?”
“I want to watch,” He stated, looking the two of you over, “I consider myself somewhat of a voyeur, I like to watch when people are intimate.” You looked back and forth from him to Peter. 
“Y/N, we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Peter spoke quietly, worry in his eyes. 
“Of course not,” Steve smiled, already a bit aroused by your shocked expression. He reached into his pocket to pull out a pocket knife, its handle having an old and intricate design, “But I think it’ll be very enjoyable on your side of things. The blood will certainly take the edge off and I won’t overstep my boundaries, I promise.”
“And we’re supposed to trust a vampire … ,” Steve stepped closer, pressing the knife to his skin. 
“We don’t have another option,” Peter said, his eyes focused on Steve’s vein. Peter let go of your hand, the addiction taking over as he moved closer to Steve. Steve cut into his arm, the crimson running down it but not a drop touched the floor before Peter pressed his lips to the wound. 
When Peter pulled away, his head tilted all the way back, as the sweet serum traveled down his throat. You were still staring in shock, the scent reaching your nose, and drawing you further in. It took everything in you to keep your feet planted and your fingernails dug into your palm as you watched. 
Peter smiled, blood on his lips and mouth, “Y/N,” He drawled, “Please, taste it …” He walked towards you, his hands outstretched. The blood on his lips, you could smell it, and you wanted to taste it so bad that it was hurting you. When he leaned into your lips, you didn’t stop him. His tongue entered your mouth and you felt the high he was feeling. 
Your vision began to blur a little as your head tilted back. Peter’s hands were holding you steady as the biggest smile spread across your lips. It was like tasting heaven, something beyond reality and you wanted to never let that supernatural feeling go. 
You felt a foreign hand against your back but you felt like welcoming any touch under the influence of the drug. As Peter pulled his lips away from you, your eyes opened to Steve’s as he was offering you his wrist. With the taste already on the tongue, you gladly accepted more, Peter’s hands roaming over your body as you drank. 
You weren’t sure how you made it to the bed, it felt like you had floated. Peter was right, he was so right, were all the words you could think. You heard those words, felt Peter’s hands, and watched as Steve’s lips turned into a mischievous smile. 
Steve stepped away, the cut on his arm already healing, as he made himself comfortable in a lounging chair by the fireplace. He had to give it to the kid, he seemed to know your body much better than he expected for a guy his age. Either that, or you couldn’t tell what was what at the moment and it was all just pleasure in your glazed over eyes. 
Your head tilted to the side so Steve could analyze every detail of your face. Your dress was pulled down at the top and the bottom rolled up past your stomach. Peter held your legs firmly, biting and kissing your thighs as he made himself comfortable between your legs. 
“God, I fucking love you,” Steve smiled at Peter’s words. Your back arched up as he finally pushed your panties aside, tasting your warm center, “You smell so good. You taste so good.”
You cried out his name, biting down on your bottom lip, and Steve imagined you accidentally drawing blood.  You wouldn't have noticed, there was already blood dripping down your chin. Steve liked how loud you were, he didn’t like the girls that held everything in, and he liked even more how Peter took your mewlings as encouragement to lap at you faster. 
“Fuck,” You cursed, gripping the sheets tightly. Steve felt his pants begin to tighten though he promised himself he would wait, “Fuck, fuck!” You finally came and Peter crawled up your body in order to kiss you on your lips. 
He fumbled with his belt and Steve felt his desperation to be inside you. He was still slow with you when he finally entered you, much more patient than Steve imagined he would be. He kept things slow so you could adjust. He made love to you, kissing your neck, “Is that good?”
You nodded eagerly, “Y-Yeah! Like that …. I love that, Petey. Feels so good … feels so good.”
It was more than ecstasy. The blood mixed with the love of your life, you thought you might cry knowing that no other feeling could compare. 
+
Steve watched the young lovebirds through several rounds and several different positions, your stamina never seeming to run out. Like any other drug, the high relieved the side effects but it didn’t last forever. Eventually, you and Peter floated to sleep. 
You slept through the entire morning and you thought you’d wake in Peter’s arms. You could face any shame and guilt if you were with him but, when your heavy eyes finally opened, you were alone. Your palm against your head, you sat up in the bed, a little bit of sun creeping through the curtains. Looking down, you were completely naked most likely from last night's escapades. 
You felt dirty, for more than one reason. “Peter,” You whispered, stepping out of the bed to look for your dress. Covering your chest, you kneeled down to check beneath the bed, “Peter.”
You breathed heavily, trying to push down your anxiousness as you struggled to find your clothes. When the door of the room opened, you panicked, grabbing ahold of the comforter and pulling it against your body. 
It wasn’t Peter or Steve but a dark haired man, abnormally muscular for a vampire just like Steve. He tilted his head as he looked at you, “Where’s Peter?” You asked immediately. 
“Who?” He raised an eyebrow, shutting the door, “Ohhh, Peter. Right. The boyfriend.”
“Where’s Peter and who are you?” You continued, your eyes wide with fear. Bucky ran his hand over his beard before folding his arms over each other. 
“I’m Steve’s … friend,” You began to recognize him from all the photos, “There’s a few of us who share this house, you know. And I heard you all last night, I asked Steve if I could join the fun but sitting on the sidelines is a bit boring to me.” 
You didn’t care, “If you’re not gonna tell me where Peter is-”
He rolled his eyes, “He’s with Natasha I think. He woke up still craving. Are you craving something too, dollface?”
“Nothing from you,” You shook your head though the idea of his bleeding wrist did pop into your brain, “I-I need to see him.”
“Be my guest. Are you going naked?” You scowled at him, “Go clean up first, please. There should be something for you to wear in the bathroom.”
The two of you stared awkwardly until Bucky realized you weren’t going to move until he left the room, “Fine,” He raised his hands in defeat, “They always get shy in the morning.” He mumbled to himself as the door shut. You quickly hurried to the bathroom, shutting and locking it. 
Why the hell was Peter with Natasha? She’d look at him like she wanted to devour him, in a completely non-vampire kind of way. And he’d left you all alone for that man to find you. Sure, you’d done things last night you weren’t proud of but he’d promised that things would go back to normal after. 
You freshened up in the sink, throwing on a night blue, silk nightgown. You had to scrub the dry blood off of your lips and your inner thighs and you were forced to relive the night. Everything was perfect but as soon as you thought about who watched and probably got off to it, you only felt guilty. You felt even more guilty that you were craving more blood. 
The room was empty when you stepped back into it. Tip toeing over to the bedroom door, you made sure to check to see if the coast was clear before stepping out into the hallway. You thought you could find Peter, snap him out of whatever trance he was in, and take the two of you home even if you had to carry him out on your back. 
“Natasha warned me to keep an eye on you,” He appeared in front of you so suddenly that a small shriek left your lips. You backed up quickly only to run into another tall figure. 
“Bucky, you’re going to hurt her,” Steve warned, his deep voice sending chills down your spine. 
Bucky smirked, “No blood, no foul.”
“You say that now.”
You stepped away from both of them, your back pressing against the nearest wall, “Would you like breakfast, doll?” Steve asked, catching you off guard. 
“You should get something on your stomach, doll,” Bucky seemed to mimic Steve’s concerned nature which caused Steve to press his lips into a frustrated, thin line. 
“Where. Is. Peter? I want to go home.”
“He’s-”
Bucky interrupted him, “You can’t go home.”
“Buck-”
“There’s no use in sugarcoating it,” Bucky stepped closer, resting his arm above you, “We need new blood bags and it’s not like you guys have much to go back to.” 
“We’re not blood bags-”
“We’re all blood bags,” Bucky chuckled, “You guys need us too. Anyways, it’s not a request. Steve is just nicer than me but we’re all going to take what we want.”
You slipped away from him, your feet pushing you even though you knew you were faster. The only reason Bucky didn’t chase after you was because of Steve, “Peter!” You called out, running down the hall, “Peter!” You frantically opened each door you walked past until you got to the end of the hallway. 
When you stormed in, you found him shirtless, sprawled on a bed. Natasha, in a robe, was in front of a vanity, brushing through her red hair. You hurried over to the bed, grabbing a hold of his shoulders, “Peter, we have to get out of here.”
He smiled, softly grabbing ahold of your arm, “My love, you’re so beautiful, you know that?” He was so high that you weren’t even sure if he was really seeing you. 
Tears pricked your eyes, “You promised, Peter. You promised.”
He shushed you, “It’s okay, just give me a few … hours. We’ll be … okay.”
You felt hands on your waist that you didn’t fight. She brushed a piece of hair from your face, touching your cheek with her freezing hand, “I knew you’d like her, Buck. They're both so perfect,” Natasha guided you away from the bed and towards the door where the other two vampires were standing, “So who gets the first bite?”
“Steve’s had his fun. She’s mine tonight.” 
+
hope you enjoyed that fun little one-shot!
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angstysebfan · 3 years
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The Past Can Break You - 5
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
AU: Avengers
Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?
A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.
Warning: implied smut, angst is back
--
The next 2 weeks were amazing. Bucky really turned everything around and showed you that he was committed to you. It made you feel so much better. While you felt bad that he now completely avoided Dot, because she is still out of place, you didn’t feel that bad because you knew she was bad news. Whenever she saw you and Bucky together she would scoff and glare at you. It made you uncomfortable.
One day the whole Avengers team was called into a meeting to discuss an upcoming mission. Per Steve and Tony, everyone, except you, were needed. You didn’t like the thought of staying behind with Dot in the compound, but you were a team player, and wouldn’t argue. Bucky on the other hand let Steve have it with both barrels.
“Steve you know the situation with Dot. Can’t someone else stay behind?” he said to Steve.
Steve sighed, “Yes, I know this will be difficult, but everyone else is needed for their skill. Y/N’s skills aren’t needed on this mission. She agreed, so why are you fighting me on this?” Steve argued back.
“Of course Y/N won’t fight this, but I am trying to protect her from Dot. You remember how vicious Dot can be, and I don’t want her to upset Y/N when we just started to get back on track,” Bucky said.
“Look Buck, I get it. I do. But this is how it is. The compound is big enough that Y/N won’t need to be anywhere near Dot. By the way, when are you going to tell her that she needs to start looking for employment and another living situation. She makes everyone uncomfortable. Even Tony is starting to get annoyed at all her questions about FRIDAY, and he loves showing people how smart he is,” Steve asked.
“I-I don’t know. I mean I know I have to do it, especially after what she’s pulled, but I still feel bad for her. I mean she didn’t ask for this to happen, and doesn’t deserve to be thrown out on her ass, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I’ll talk to Y/N about it and see if she has any ideas. Maybe if we help setting her up I will feel better about it,” Bucky said.
“Yea, I know. Let me know if you need help. But we gotta get packed and head to the quinjet. And please don’t worry about Y/N. Your girl is strong, and she knows how Dot is. She will be fine. Besides, we are only gone for like 24 hours, what could happen?” Steve asked.
Bucky didn’t respond and watched as Steve walked out of the meeting room. He ran his hands through his hair, what could happen? He hoped nothing, but he didn’t trust Dot. It’s funny the way she is acting now didn’t bother him when he was in the 40s, but now, because of you, he sees that she is not as great as he thought.
Bucky sighs and heads to your shared room to find you packing his bag for him. He smiles as he walks in, “Hey baby,” he says.
You look up at him and give him a bashful smile, “Figured I would help you out,” you said.
Bucky walks up to you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace. He looks into your eyes, and all you see is love and admiration in them. He leans in and connects his soft lips with yours. After a moment he deepens the kiss and you feel his tongue on your lower lip. You open you mouth in response, allowing him full access. When the need to breath becomes too great you pull away, panting.
“You’re only going to be gone a day,” you say with a chuckle.
Bucky also laughs, “Will you be ok? Here? With... her?” he asks.
You brush your hand through his soft hair, “Yea. I’ll stay clear of her as much as I can. But I’ll be ok,” you say.
Bucky pecks your lips again. “When I come home, I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he asks.
You look at him with confusion, “Like what?” you ask.
“I think it’s time for Dot to go off on her own, but I don’t want to just kick her out and make her fend for herself. I was thinking you could help me find her a job and a place to live? I would just feel better if I know I wasn’t kicking her out with nowhere to go,” he asks.
You smile and nod, “Sure. I’ll be glad to help. I’ll start while you’re gone,” you say. 
Bucky kisses you one more time, “I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you, Doll,” he says.
“I love you too, Buck.”
--
You have to say you are surprised when you find yourself not running into Dot at all. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to be near you either, which is fine. She has spent most of the last 24 hours in the lab, while you stayed in your room looking up possible jobs and apartment for her. 
You thought it was nice of Bucky to at least help set her up and not throw her to the wolves. It was something you admired about Bucky, his big heart. You both have been texting before the mission, but since then you haven’t heard from him. You hope everything is ok. 
“FRIDAY, any update on the team?” you ask the AI.
“No agent, I’m sorry,” she responds.
You decide to take a nap in hopes that when you wake up your boyfriend will be home. You want your family home safe and sound.
--
You woke up to the sounds of the team in the hallway. You walk out and see Nat and Wanda and hug them hello. You head toward the common room hoping to see the guys, but don’t. You walk back toward the elevator and heard something from Dot’s room.
“Oh Dot, I’ve missed you so much, Doll,” you hear Bucky moan.
You gasp in horror as you continue listening to Dot moan and beg for Bucky to go harder. You can’t help the tears that begin to fall as you hear your boyfriend and his ex having sex.
“So good baby, you’re so good. Taking me so well, you feel amazing. No one is like you, I love you so much,” Bucky moaned.
You’ve heard enough and turn, running back to your shared room. You can’t be near him when he comes in pretending he didn’t just fuck his ex. Your heart is in a million pieces as his voice continues to play in your head. All you hear is her and his moans and his words. He loves her. It will always be her. Maybe you just need to learn to accept that.
--
“Buck, I think you should have told Y/N you got hurt. She is going to be worried about you,” Steve scolded.
“Look, I know my girl. She will be mad at first, but then she will nurse me back to health. I will have to convince her to ride me later, but it will be so worth it,” Bucky says with a smirk as the doctor continues to pull out shards of shrapnel from his side.
“Seriously man? TMI!” Sam complained before leaving Medbay.
Bucky laughed and then hissed as the doctor pulled another shard out. “How much longer? I don’t want Y/N to think I’m dead if she knows we are back,” Bucky asked the doctor.
“One more piece... and....” she pulls the large piece out, “There! Now I will quickly clean and bandage. no stitches cause you will heal fast, but please no sex tonight. You might bleed all over her,” the doctor said with a glare.
Bucky and Steve laugh. “Oh I talked to Y/N about helping me out with Dot and she agreed. I figured it was best to have her involved with that situation from now on,” Bucky says to Steve as the doctor cleans and bandages his side.
“Good idea, less messy that way. I hope everything went well here with the 2 of them,” Steve says.
“I’ll find out,” Bucky says as he puts his shirt on. 
Both men walk to the elevator and head to their floor. They say their goodbyes in the hall as Bucky opens the door to your shared apartment. You aren’t in there, which confuses him, but he figures maybe you went to the kitchen.
When he walks into the bathroom he senses something is wrong. None of your toiletries are there. It was different from when you cleaned, plus his was still there. He walks back out to your room and sees that everything on your nightstand is gone too. Now he starts to panic as he goes to the closet and sees that all your clothes are gone. He tries to not have a panic attack because that will slow him down. He goes to head to the door and sees a piece of paper on the floor:
Bucky,
I guess I’m the stupid one. I’m stupid to think that everything you said to me was true. I was stupid to think that I could compete with your one true love. I was stupid to think that you really loved me. Well I won’t be stupid anymore. No need to lie and say what I heard isn’t true. I hope you and Dot are very happy together in your new apartment, but I’m done. Have a nice life.
Bucky dropped the letter and fell to his knees as tears pool down his cheeks. What the hell happened that you up and left him? You are angry with him, and he doesn’t understand why. He allows himself to cry for a moment before rereading it.
Dot.
--
Chapter 4 / Chapter 6
Oh Dot you dirty bitch! Feedback is appreciated.
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getlostsquidward · 3 years
Text
The gaps in your hearts (Part 2)
Lou Miller x fem!reader
A/N: You asked for part 2, and I shall deliver. I hope it's worth your wait!!
Summary: After your departure, an unexpected circumstance had you arriving back at the loft, back at Lou. Will the gaps in your hearts only become wider or will they be finally filled?
Part one
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“Oh, bugger. Baby? I’m home.”
“Nice place.”
“Try heating it.”
“There’s a room for you upstairs. Your stuff’s upstairs too.”
Lou called your name a couple of times but she got no answer. Maybe you went out and got something from the store. She furrowed her eyebrows at the notion that you didn’t let her know you’ll go out like you usually does.
She can’t wait for you to meet Debbie.
The sun has set down and you weren’t at home yet. Lou was growing worried each minute that passes. She’d left you text messages, she tried to call you several times, but all of it went to voicemail. Where did you go?
Debbie had returned from her closure meeting with Claude. She had bought takeout for dinner but Lou wasn’t in any mood to eat. She was antsy but keeping it down so her friend won’t notice. Maybe you were called in at work? Maybe you went out with a friend and forgot to send her a text. The blonde knows you can perfectly take care of yourself but she can’t help but be worried.
“Where’s your girl?” Debbie asked, reminded of Lou calling someone ‘baby’ when they arrived earlier.
Lou just shrugged her shoulders, not really knowing what to answer.
“Maybe she hit her head and woke up from the truth,” the brunette joked.
Lou glared at her friend. “Not funny.”
“Tell me about her.”
The blonde started to tell her friend everything. From how you met, the ups and downs of your relationship, and how loving and wonderful you are. You were patient and understanding; you were perfect in every way and she hated how she’d managed to hurt the one person that did nothing but love her.
The day you moved out of the loft was the most devastating day of her life. It was way much worse than when Debbie left before.
She knew that you were checking in on her through Matt, and she was wracked with guilt. Even after what she’d done, you still care for her. Lou unconsciously checks her phone to see if you left a message but to no avail. You really honoured your word that you’d give her time, and she was thankful for that.
In your two-month break, she really had thought about it all. She used the time to sort out her feelings. Hell, she even opened up to some of her other friends for help, something she rarely does even with those who know her. Unearthing her feelings.
Lou had feelings for Debbie. She didn’t know if it was romantic or if it was just a deep affection. She didn’t really think much of it. Debbie was one of the few of the persons she knows she could trust with her life and in the conworld, such a person was like a rare gem. It was hard to find, and if you do, you’ve got to treasure it. And so she did.
“Maybe you’d mistaken the concept of love and affection. You told me you really didn’t think anything about it and that explains it. The moment you felt that that person was dear to you, you immediately equated it to romantic love.”
The words mentioned had hit Lou, hard. Once she realized that, she promptly had to find you. She called you, but you didn’t answer. She didn’t know where you were staying so she asked your friends, and that’s how Lou found you drowning in liquor in some alley.
“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Debbie berated, feeling rather guilty about how she was probably the reason you left for the second time around.
“I do. No need to remind me.”
“I’m gonna tell you to go find her, but I also need you to focus on the job. Can you do both?”
“Of course,” Lou sighed. She won’t know what she would do if she were to lose you for real this time.
-
You were feeling rueful for leaving Lou without a word. You knew she’d be worried sick, but it was the best for the two of you. Once again, you fell into your routine. It was incredibly helpful that an event was coming and you can spend all of your time at work. Though this time, the constant drinking was out of your to-do list.
Your mind often wandered to Lou. She said something about a job, maybe that’s what they’re doing right now. Has she been thinking of you too?
The messages and missed calls Lou had sent you were not in your knowledge as you’d let your best friend hide your phone, and bought a new one for you. At first, you thought that it would be ridiculous and childlike of you but maybe she had a point. The worst-case scenario would be Lou filing for a missing person’s case, but you knew she wouldn’t dare cross paths with the police.
-
“Oh my god, you guys. This party is nuts. I’m not kidding! If your dress is ugly, you can’t wear it, no shit! They will bower your wardrobe!” Tammy rambled and rushed to get into the loft where she got everyone’s attention.
“I love that!” Lou quipped.
“Oh I gotta pee,” Tammy continued to ramble. “Every table cost a quarter-million dollars that if they allow you to buy one! I mean not just any $250,000 check will be approved, I mean they literally have to tell you whether or not they’ll take your money, it’s crazy!”
Everyone was standing outside the bathroom, still listening to Tammy rant about the Met.
“And then you can’t bring anyone, that you clearly go by yourself. They spend a hundred grand on food and apparently no one eats, it’s really crazy,” the blonde finished as she went out, kind of out of breath from the continuous rambling.
“Did you get the seating chart?” asked Debbie.
“The what?”
“The seating chart.” Tammy handed the special glasses she was wearing to Debbie.
“If I haven’t said it, it’s really crazy. This one person that I’m working with maybe is the only saving grace of that place. Thank goodness for Y/N,” the blonde sighed, capturing the attention of Lou.
She shared looks with Debbie, hoping that it was you their friend was talking about.
After discussing the seating chart, they approached Tammy and straightforwardly asked about you, if you were the same person she’d mentioned. Apparently, you quit your last job and had started few weeks prior to Tammy. Lou asked if you’re doing well, and almost cried when she nodded. When Tammy asked why they are curious, Debbie answered. “Lou’s girl. Left because of this dumbass right here.”
The blonde had a surprised expression on her face, a bit amazed at how small the world is. The person they’ve been looking for was only at their reach this whole time.
“She’s sweet. If you’re planning to get her back, which I know you would, you better not mess up.”
Since that day, Lou was itching to contact you but inhibited herself. She’d finish the job first, then she would have you back. If she was lucky enough to be given a second chance, which she wouldn’t fucking waste, she can finally go to California riding with you on her new bike like you always wanted to do.
Finally, it was the first Monday in May. Lou was still in the van with Nineball, preparing food for her. She remembered you telling her she would look good in a chef’s uniform. She wasn’t actually a chef right now, but she still owes you a hundred bucks.
What if you weren’t gone? Maybe you would be in on the heist too, and you would be the most beautiful woman in her eyes, everyone else in the Met is damned. She knew you would have loved and drooled over the green jumpsuit she was wearing.
The heist was successful, and the ladies were lounging at the loft. Their dillydally was halted when an unexpected guest has stormed the loft. Daphne Kluger.
“You guys are fucked,” the actress huffed. “Wow, nice place.”
“Excuse me, you are trespassing-”
“No, we asked her to come,” Lou cut Tammy’s accusation.
Debbie started to explain how Daphne might have gotten a sense of what they were doing, so they roped the brunette in. Daphne then asserted how she was the one who was saving everyone from insurance fraud. Another revelation had caused panic to those who didn’t know, scared that they might be busted and imprisoned.
“We will not be the prime suspect.”
“Then who will be the prime suspect?”
Lou listed several people like the security guys and the busboy. Their attention was focused on Daphne that they didn’t notice another person coming in. You quietly opened the door in purpose, glancing at each of the women inside. You’d heard the last bit of their conversation and captured their attention by announcing your presence.
“The shady guy who put Debbie away,” you casually commented, walking towards everyone.
“Wow,” Daphne chuckled. “The boyfriend.”
Everyone but Debbie and Daphne was shocked, for the third time around. They didn’t really expect guests today. Lou looked like she had seen a ghost but didn’t take her eyes off you.
“Yup. If they were gonna be looking for somebody, just had to make sure it wasn’t one of us.”
You whispered a “Hi, Tam” to your coworker, and took a sit in the middle of her and Daphne. “The precision, right?” the actress turned to you. “The attention to detail, a little grace note that really makes something sing.”
While she was blubbering about how well-thought the job was, she scooted closer to you and put a hand on your thigh. Lou raised an eyebrow at the action, jealousy bubbling in her chest.
“Why are you doing this?” Tammy asked, referring to Daphne. “And Y/N? You were in too? How?”
You let the brunette answer first and when she finished, Debbie had answered for you.
“She was our other mole in the Met, aside from you and Nine.”
“Oh, you were an angel, Y/N. She made sure I was okay after hurling my guts out. Much much better company than my date,” Daphne preached, leaning her head on your shoulder. You rest your head on hers in return.
Lou’s jaw was gritted, it was too much for her and she couldn’t look any longer. She looked at Debbie and gave her a perplexed look, asking for further explanation.
The brunette just shrugged her shoulder, knowing it was up to you to talk to Lou. After all, it was the reason she approached you. At first, she had only talked to you about Lou, but later called to ask if you were willing to join in the job. You’d said yes right away.
That night, you saw Lou sitting near the shore. She was staring straight ahead as you sat next to her.
“Lou?”
“You know, I planned to talk to you after we got the money. But you got to me first,” she whispered.
“You have to thank Debs for that.”
Lou chuckled, “Debs? What, you’re on a nickname basis now? She doesn’t even let me call her that.”
“She told me everything. And, I- I’m sorry, Lou. I shouldn’t have left like that, left you worried though you had a job to focus on-”
Lou cut you off as she pulled you in for a hug. “No, Y/N. I should be the one apologizing.”
Her hand was running up and down your back, the touch soothing all of your troubles. You can finally feel at peace. There was no snarling voice at the back of your head, no heavy feeling. You feel like a sailor in the middle of a calm sea.
“I’ll make it up to you, for real, this time,” Lou pulled back, giving you a smile. You nodded in return.
“Although you may have to explain first what was that earlier,” her smile faded, and glared at you playfully.
You were about to ask what she was referring to when you suddenly remembered. You told her how you may or may not have told Daphne that you were on a rough patch and she volunteered to help make Lou jealous. Both of you shared a laugh as she commented on how effective it was that she had to restrain herself from tearing you apart from the actress.
There was no time to waste, you thought as you pressed your lips against Lou’s. The kiss was slow and passionate, the both of you pouring all your feelings out. Her hand entangled itself on the base of your skull as she deepened the kiss, tongue swiping on your bottom lip asking for entrance. You let her dominate you, a soft moan coaxed out of your mouth.
The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Lou’s lips; your hammering heart and the waves lapping gently at the shore.
“I love you, baby,” Lou murmured, both of you breathless.
“I know, Lou. I love you too.”
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mypoisonedvine · 4 years
Text
Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 4)
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  
word count: 5.3k
warnings: smut!!, overstimulation, oral f receiving, lots of dirty talk and begging, very very subtle d/s dynamics if you squint, slight angst??, awkwardness, pining 
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Bucky’s heart was racing as he tried to prepare himself for what was coming.  It was never easy to watch that scene of you being fucked by somebody else— even if it wasn’t real, and even if it was technically your character that was getting fucked— but it was going to be an entirely new struggle with you a foot away, laying next to him on your bed.
“We only did two takes of this,” you remembered, talking over the conversation on-screen.  The smash cut to you being shoved against a wall, lips fighting for dominance in a searing kiss, made you chuckle.  “This we had to do, like, a million takes.”
Bucky’s hand tightened into a fist at the idea of you kissing this guy over and over.  “I’m sure he was real broken up about that,” he grumbled sardonically.
“No, I promise he actually was,” you defended, “I was terrible.  I kept laughing and ruining it, and it meant we had to keep starting over.”
That relieved some of his jealousy, hopeful that laughing meant you weren’t attracted to your co-star or turned on by filming a love scene.  He still felt his heart clench as he watched your shirt get pushed up and two hands (both flesh, like he was showing off or something) grab at your breasts.  Sooner than he was prepared for it, you were being thrown down onto the bed and moaning loudly, nails digging into his back as he stared down at you.
“I can’t even imagine how many guys have gotten off to this scene,” you shuddered.
I can’t believe I’m one of them, Bucky thought as he swallowed dryly.  “What about the guys on set?” he wondered aloud.  “Do they ever, you know, get…” he whistled and pointed his finger up straight, hoping it was enough to get the idea across.
You laughed, playfully shoving him on the shoulder.  “They have tape for that, to keep everything down in case they get a little too into it.”
Glancing to the screen, he wondered how this guy didn’t pop the tape right off.
“Have you ever…?” Bucky pressed, heart rate picking up as he pushed the boundaries a little bit.
“Have I ever… been turned on, while filming?” you finished his question.  “No,” you scoffed, sounding bemused and taking another swig of your drink.
“Why not?”
“I guess they’re just not my type,” you shrugged.
“Movie stars aren’t your type?” Bucky joked, but your answer was completely serious.
“Nope.”
He nodded slowly as he contemplated that, taking a moment to build up the courage to ask his next question.  “What is your type?”
You smirked a little, and he wasn’t sure at all what it meant aside from the fact that he was done for.  Whatever you were gonna say was sure to break his heart.  “Tall, dark, not famous…”
He could so picture you picking up fans at bars; you must have no trouble at all finding guys to mess around with.  Yep, totally heartbreaking.
“Good driver…” you continued, voice a little quieter and a little deeper.
Bucky cleared his throat anxiously.  “I guess that rules me out.”
“What?  You’re great; haven’t even blown any red lights or made illegal U-turns.”
“I mean, good drivers don’t eavesdrop on their passengers,” he explained, “especially when they’re with tall, dark, not-famous friends of theirs in the back.”
You laughed a little, half-lidded eyes looking him up and down.  He felt very exposed under your gaze.  “I didn’t mind,” you shrugged.
Oh god, oh fuck, Bucky’s mind raced, we’re talking about it.  All this time and we’re finally talking about it.  What the fuck do I say?  “I still shouldn’t have—” he began.
“I wanted you to,” you interrupted firmly.
“You… wanted me to look?”
“Wanted you to do a lot more than that,” you admitted.
He looked back at you with wide eyes, entirely devoid of thoughts or words or ideas on what to do in the moment.  Sure, it was pretty heavy flirting, but it wasn’t necessarily an invitation.  You said wanted, past tense, it didn’t mean you wanted him now.  Maybe you were just letting him know he missed his chance.  If he did the wrong thing and upset you, he’d never forgive himself.
“Seemed like you were pretty satisfied with what he was doing,” he remembered, hearing the waver in his voice and cringing.
“Only cause I was thinking about you,” you grinned.  “I do that a lot, actually.  I’m just usually alone when I do it…”
He shivered as you shifted onto your side and leaned towards him, reaching across his body to set your beer down on the bedside table next to him; with you so close, he feared his heart would beat out of his chest.  With the beer set aside, all you had to do was let your hand pull back to rest on his chest, and lift your leg up to rest on his, and you were straddling his side like it was the most simple, casual thing in the world.
But it wasn’t.  It was the most insane thing that had ever happened to him.  He looked down at you and blinked a few times, confident the hallucation would end but nope, he could feel the warmth of you radiating through his clothes, threatening to burn him alive.
“I’m usually in this bed, right here,” you continued slowly, and he had trouble keeping track of what you were saying with your finger trailing along his chest through his shirt, “warm under the covers, wearing a lot less than this, knowing you’re just a few rooms away and wishing you would come in here and touch me…”
"I’m here now,” he replied, just louder than a whisper.  “Can I touch you?" 
“Take off the gloves,” you requested softly.  He was quick with the right one, but hesitated before removing the left— the moment of truth.  Your breath hitched as the light caught the golden and black metal, and he winced.
“That bad?”
“No, no,” you denied, “it’s… sort of beautiful, actually.”
With you wrapped around his left side, it was natural for his right hand to move up your thigh.  His left hand brushing against your face seemed to surprise you, though.
"I'm sorry, is it cold?" he asked gently.
"A little," you giggled, "but I don't mind."
Demonstrating how little you minded, in fact, you slowly kissed the tips of his bionic fingers, getting more and more adventurous until you were suddenly slipping two of them into your mouth and down past your throat.
"Fuck," he shivered, silently thanking whatever gods were out there that technology made him capable of feeling the wet warmth of your mouth on his fingers.
"Just skin everywhere else, right?" you smirked.  "It's not a Swiss army knife down there?"
"Nope," he laughed, "flesh an' blood."
The blood aspect was especially salient as his cock filled so fast he thought he might pass out.  Your hand slipped down and started to ghost over the front of his jeans, and he fought every instinct to keep from bucking up into your hand.  You started to go for his belt but he sat up a bit.
“Wait,” he requested, clutching your shoulders a little; as soon as you looked back at him, he pulled you into a kiss, probably a little too aggressively but he was too pent up to care.  After all this waiting, he actually had to hold himself back a bit compared to how he really wanted to kiss you.  He moved his lips against yours slowly but with determination— and it was you, in the end, that started to slide your tongue along his lips until he opened them, giving him a chance to taste your mouth like he’d dreamed of for so long.  Past the beer was the unmistakable flavor of you, and he was instantly addicted to it.  His arms wrapped around you and held you close, one hand tangling in your hair a bit as you started to lean into his palm.  Your hands clutched at his shirt, the warmth of your touch managing to permeate through to his skin, and he heard the softest moan from you right against his lips.  It was perfection, and he would’ve been happy to stay like that forever if it weren’t for you sitting up to straddle him.  He couldn’t decide if it was the sight of you on top of him, or the weight of your body on his, or the feeling of your thighs clenching a bit just above his throbbing cock— it was probably all three, but he suddenly became so needy for you that his head was spinning.
Still absorbed in the kiss, he reached down and gently pulled at the knot holding your robe shut, letting it fall open before pushing it off your shoulders slowly.  You smiled against his lips and sat up, taking it off the rest of the way to reveal your entire nudity underneath.  You’d think that he would’ve wished to be naked with you, and that certainly would’ve made a few of his ideas a lot easier to act upon, but something about your bare body compared to his covered one— something about your mound grinding on his jeans like that— drove him fucking wild.
“God, baby,” he praised with a purr, running his hands all over whatever he could reach.  A movie could never do a body like this justice.  It deserved to be appreciated and worshipped in person, which was exactly what he planned to do.
“Your turn,” you giggled as you leaned down, unbuttoning his shirt hastily.  He was proud of the way you bit down on your lip as his skin was exposed, though he was also a bit embarrassed to reveal he was wearing his dog tags underneath.  “A little more metal under here than I was expecting,” you smirked, trailing an errant finger over the silver chain.  “There’s always more to you than meets the eye… what other secrets are you hiding, hm?”
Right now, he wanted you to have all his secrets.  He wanted to give you everything.  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he admitted first.
“I don’t think that’s that much of a secret,” you smirked as you finished the last button. 
He sat up to help you discard the shirt, shivering as your touch trailed over his chest, his abs; then his scars, and the rest of the arm.  He used it to pull you down by your neck for another kiss, testing the waters by getting a touch rougher and letting more of his desperation seep through.  You responded very well, your moans gliding from your tongue onto his as your hips started to rock on top of his.  “Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” he gently mocked, smiling as he started to kiss down your neck and onto your shoulder.  “Ridin’ me through my jeans, like a damn teenager dry-humping after prom.”
“Hnng, Bucky,” you choked, slowing down.
He grabbed your hips with both hands.  “Hey, I didn’t say to stop.”  
With a moan and renewed vigor, you moved faster on top of him, the rough denim clearly a bit too much for your sensitive clit as your thighs began to quiver where they were clamped down around his.  The stimulation on his cock, alternatively, was rather dulled through such thick clothing— it was just enough to keep him desperate, but not enough to get him too near coming, which was the way he wanted it at the moment.  If anything, it was the sight of you rubbing yourself on him desperately that put his restraint at risk.
“Can you feel how hard I am, baby?” he growled a little.  “Can you feel how hard you make me?”
You nodded with a little gasp.  "God, Bucky, I want it in me now."
"Not yet, pretty girl,” he soothed with a smirk.  “I need to taste you first."
He flipped you onto your back and settled on top of you between your legs; he kissed you one more time, resisting the urge to rub his hips on yours again before heading down south to suck your nipple between his lips.  You were so sensitive, moaning loudly each time his tongue circled the bud, and he moaned at the feeling of the skin hardening against his tongue.  He made sure to give some attention to the other one before making a show of kissing down your chest and stomach, looking back up at you with a stare that he could only hope carried all the weight that he was feeling.
"I get it," you grinned down at him, "this is how you reclaim your territory.  You're gonna do what he did to me, but so much better until I can't even remember his name, right?"
"Sweetheart, you didn't even remember his name thirty seconds after it happened,” he reminded you between kisses, moving lower and lower on the bed.
"So you're not trying to assert dominance over sexual competition?" you pressed with a gleam of challenge in your eyes.
"You need to stop reading those evolutionary biology books," he laughed, but then got a bit more stern. "Think of it this way: I don't see any of those stupid boys as competition.  They're nothing.  It's you who needs to know that nobody can make you feel as good as I can."
That seemed to shut you up for the moment, and he smirked before getting back to work kissing along your spread thighs and shaking hips.  He could already smell your need in the air, intoxicating to the point that he struggled to stay focused on mercilessly teasing you.  He wanted to taste you so bad, but he needed to hear you beg him for it.  He started with one finger gently exploring your folds, slow and light, until he felt your hips trying to push up into him for more stimulation.  Then all he had to do was kiss that spot right on the inside of your thigh that wasn’t quite where you wanted him, and you arched your back with a desperate whine.  “Bucky, please,” you whimpered. 
He laughed a little, amused by your little sobs and the way your hands clutched at the comforter beneath you.  “Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”
“Your mouth,” you gasped.
“Where do you want it?” he asked innocently.
You snarled with irritation but answered anyway.  “My pussy.”
“I don’t think I understand,” he encouraged, voice getting deeper on accident as his own arousal became too intense to ignore.
You growled frustratedly but got what he was getting at.  “I need your mouth on my pussy, Bucky, please…”
“Well, why didn’t you say so, darlin’?  All you had to do was ask,” he grinned as he roughly grabbed your thighs and buried his face in between them, sloppily exploring you with his tongue until your taste coated his mouth and overwhelmed all his senses.
“Fuck!” you yelped, shivering against him.  “Oh god, yes, Bucky, oh my god…”
“Is this what you wanted, pretty girl?” he asked, pulling back just as much as he needed to to speak.
“Yes, Bucky, just like that,” you nodded wildly, “feels so good, don’t fucking stop, please—”
He dove in again, finding a pattern that allowed him to suck on your clit and push his tongue inside you simultaneously.  That was the combination that seemed to rile you up most, your hands searching for something to hold on to until they suddenly found purchase gripping his hair, guiding him as your hips bucked against his face.  That was fine with him— more than that, in fact, cause he thought it was so sexy when you demanded control like that— until you switched from pulling him in to pushing him away.  That wouldn’t do at all; with a growl, he grabbed your wrists and forced them down beside you, holding them firm as he licked at you rougher and faster.
“Fuck, Bucky,” you sobbed, back arching so much that he had to fight to keep you in his mouth, “right there, right there— oh fuck, I’m gonna come.”
He nodded, but it wasn’t permission; it was ‘of course you are.’
Your walls clenched so hard that your entire sex was pulsing in his mouth, your taste getting stronger in the same way your moans got louder.  He wanted to hold you there as long as you could, and that turned out to be quite a while; he stopped when your screams of pleasure started to push too far into pain, finally letting you rest… for a moment, that is.
He watched your panting breaths catch as he slowly pushed a finger into your hole; it was still pulsing a little bit from the orgasm, and was unbearably hot and wet.
"Fuck, this pretty little pussy is tryin' to suck me in, you see that?  Wants me so bad…"
"M-more, Bucky, please," you whispered.  He obeyed and slipped in a second finger, slowly twisting and trying to open you up for him.
"You like that, pretty girl?" he asked with a smile as he watched your back arch, returning to suck on your clit without waiting for an answer.  He relished the weight of your thighs on his shoulders, taking mental note of where he had to touch you to make them clench around his head.  You kept repeating 'yes' but he didn't think it was intended as an answer to his question because he was pretty sure you hadn't even heard the question.  Still, it was answer enough nonetheless.
He could tell it wouldn't take that long to get you there again, with your g-spot all swollen from the last one.  He didn't push too hard on it yet, just letting his fingers curl ever so slightly to apply a teasing amount of pressure.  
"Don't you wanna fuck me?" you moaned between sobs.
His cock seemed to process that question before his brain did.   "Yes," he answered quickly, even though he thought it was rude to talk with his mouth full.
"Then get on with it," you suggested desperately.  "Come on up here and fuck me."
"I'm not done with this yet," he insisted.
Your head fell back as you hissed frustratedly through your teeth.  "Damn you and your… thoroughness."
"No point in doing anything if you're not gonna do it right," he laughed.  "Besides, I couldn't stop now when you're about to come."
You looked back at him for a second like you didn't agree with that assessment, until he curled his fingers again and your walls rippled erratically around him.  "Fuck," you shuddered.  “Please fuck me, please fuck me, please,” you sobbed, “I need it so bad, I need you inside me— Bucky, pleasepleaseplease—”
He growled against your skin, struggling to resist that but desperate to make you come just one more time before he gave in.  His cock really hated that he wasn’t giving you what you wanted, throbbing and weeping another drop of precum just to remind him of his own desperation.  But he stayed strong, focusing on his task as he felt your walls tighten around him with another orgasm.
You nearly screamed with this one, your voice breaking as your nails dug into the bed beneath you.  You looked fucking perfect with your head thrown back in pleasure like that— and you tasted even better as a gush of your arousal coated his tongue.  
He kept circling your bud with his tongue until you started to sob a little and try to push him off of you, “can’t take anymore, please—”
And he took pity on you, for once— or maybe it was moreso pity on himself as he sat up and palmed himself through his jeans.  He was so hard it hurt, and you looked like you could tell by the way you looked up at him: a glimmer of mischief in your eyes, still, even with the way they’d glazed over a bit from coming so hard.  “Get over here,” you purred as you sat up and pulled him down on top of you, kissing him again as your hands slipped down to clutch at his chest.
Of everything he’d imagined, he had never even thought to consider what it would be like to be undressed by you.  Those nimble fingers fiddling with his belt, working open his fly and zipper with such unabashed desperation, like you needed him more than you’d ever needed anything… truly, it was intoxicating.
Then again, it was nothing compared to your hand slipping into his boxers and wrapping around his cock.  He was sure he’d never gotten so much out of just one touch before, and he had to fight off the moan bubbling in his throat.  Your hands were so soft as they started to gently stroke him; his hips moved of their own accord as they started to thrust into your grasp.
“God, I need you to fuck me,” you groaned, “please, Bucky, need it so bad.”
Entirely speechless as this point, all he could do was nod as he pushed your hands off of him, pushing his jeans off quickly so as to be away from you as briefly as he could manage— and then he was on you again, kissing you everywhere he could reach, moaning when he finally let his cock brush between your legs for a moment.  Even just that and he was already coated in your slick: the rewards of demanding to be thorough, clearly.
“Please,” you sobbed, “put it in me, can’t wait any more, I’ve waited so long…”
It almost made him stop to think, because it was ambiguous if you just meant tonight or more.  But you were begging him for his cock so he wasn’t really in any position to think.
So many times he had wondered if your real moans sounded anything like your fake ones from the movie.  He fantasized for months about a chance to make the comparison.  But with you in front of him, under him, biting down on your lip as he pushed into your perfect warmth, he couldn’t even remember that you’d ever been in a movie.  He couldn’t think about anything else but this moment, right now, and he didn’t want to.
“God, Bucky,” you sighed, as if the two were being regarded at the same level in your mind— and he wasn't even halfway in yet.
Equal parts of him wanted to ease you into it and to tear you in half.  You'd always ignited this paradox in him, this instinct to protect and to destroy, this desire to cherish you and dominate you, but it was most apparent now.  It made him worry that he could never really give you what you deserved, but naturally, he was at his most selfish in this moment.  He had only just begun to push himself into you and he was ready to justify anything to get the rest of the way and bury himself to the hilt.
Your body opened up to him slightly, enough that he felt mostly right about going a little deeper; you gasped and clutched at his forearm, and that was only just barely enough to stop him as a sick pressure of arousal made his gut twist.  Oddly enough, your nails biting into his skin did more to egg him on than it did to slow him down.
He kept his eyes trained on where your bodies were joined, watching in awe at the way you looked stretched out around him; he could feel your struggle to take him in the way your walls quivered and quaked, but he could hear how much you enjoyed it as you moaned and gasped beneath him.
"I want it all, Bucky, please," you begged.  Just because he needed to, he was rough with the last inch— not enough for it to be really brutal, but plenty to elicit a precious little sob from you.
It felt so good to be all the way in you that it nearly made him dizzy.  
"Baby," you whispered, and it sounded just like the way you'd said it in the back of the car, just like the way he'd committed to memory and stowed away in his mind to visit whenever he needed to feed his addiction.
How could his chest not burn with jealousy when he remembered that night?  How could he cope with that jealousy with anything but pinning you down and fucking you hard and fast like it was the end of the goddamn world?
You all but screamed as he did it, your whole body shaking as he pounded into you.  He feared it would be more than you could handle but you went from wet to dripping in an instant, your moans loud and hoarse but undeniably a sound of pleasure.  It turned him on even more to know that you liked getting fucked this hard; maybe he didn't need to worry so much about holding back, if this was gonna make you bite your lip and look up at him like that.
"Bucky, oh my god," you sighed, a hint of disbelief in your tone, "it's so good, fuck, you feel so good…"
He wanted to hear more, but he couldn't resist capturing your lips in a kiss first, sloppy and aggressive and needy but overall perfect.  It was almost like he could taste your moans as they vibrated over his tongue, until he could barely tell his apart from yours anymore.  Pulling back, his dog tags were dangling over your face, and you looked so damn good with his name tickling your skin.  
When he lifted your legs and pushed them back up into your chest, you snarled and clutched at the sheets beneath you.  "Too deep?" he asked, not sure himself if it was concern or taunting or somewhere in the middle.
"So fucking deep," you answered, "but not too deep."
"Then maybe I'm not deep enough," he smirked, and you laughed.
"You're trying to ruin me, is that it?" you pressed.
He was afraid to be entirely honest, but your tone wasn't one of fear.  "Something like that," he admitted after a moment.
"It's working," you sighed as you pulled him down by the chain of his tags, kissing him again as your arms slipped around his neck and held him close.
His hands squeezed your thighs, before taking a detour to run up and down your legs.  It made you shiver, and he felt it from inside you which was overwhelmingly erotic.  The time he’d spent making you come so many times was paying off: for one, you were so wet it made him feel a little-lightheaded, but also it meant that he felt familiar with your body now.  He knew what it meant when your walls tightened just so, when you bit your lip that way, when your moans sounded all breathy and strained.  That being, of course, that you were about to come— and he couldn’t wait for you to come just from being fucked, make a mess all over his cock.
And yet, there was still so much more to discover: like how it felt when your legs wrapped around his hips to keep him inside, or when your fingers dug into his shoulders as you looked up at him.
“Gonna come,” you warned him with half-lidded eyes and your mouth fallen slack, “oh my god, Bucky, you’re gonna make me come.”
He growled and tightened his grip on your thigh— something to stabilize him as he fought so hard to stave off his own orgasm.  You felt so good and he could probably come just from the sight of you like this anyways, let alone being inside you right now.  Think about baseball think about baseball think about baseball—
“Yes!” you screamed.  “Right there, oh fuck, Buckyyyyy!” 
“Fuck,” he hissed, completely unable to think about anything but you, lost in the way you cried out his name as your walls fluttered and pulsed around him so perfectly.  
Maybe he was disturbed for thinking you looked pretty with your eyes filling with tears.  He was definitely disturbed for taking some pride in making you cry.  Of course, only because he was making you cry from this.  If he had it his way, Bucky would make you cry in only this way, every day, forever— and make sure nobody made you cry in any other way, while he was at it.  You hiccuped your sob as he continued to pound into you, refusing to let up even as he leaned down to kiss away your tears.  “S-so good,” you mumbled weakly, “Bucky… please…”
"Fuck, gonna come— I'm gonna come," he stammered his warning.
"Inside me, please," you whimpered, "I want it inside me."
"Jesus Christ," he hissed, shaking his head in some form of exhausted shock.  You grinned, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him closer to you until your lips brushed against his ear.
"Bucky, I want you to come inside me," you repeated in a slow whisper.  "I want every drop of your come in my pussy, I wanna be so full of you, I wanna feel it leaking out all night, I want you to make me yours."
How was he supposed to hold back anymore, with you talking like that?  With you weaving your fingers into his hair and tightening your legs around his hips, with you kissing him deeply and suddenly?  A weak moan was lost to your lips as he filled you, warmth washing over every part of him until he thought he might just melt.  You smiled against him, and he summoned just enough strength to not collapse on top of you and surely crush you with his weight.  Instead, he gave you one last kiss before burying his face in your neck, laughing exhaustedly.  
"Mine, huh?” he remembered.  “You really mean it?"
You hummed quietly, holding him tightly.  "I probably shouldn't answer that question just after you made me come a dozen times."
"No no, you should,” he pressed as he pushed up to hover over you.
You smiled and looked back up at him.  "I'm yours, Bucky."
He growled, leaning down to give your neck light teasing kisses.  "Fuck, keep talkin' like that and I'll double that dozen."
"My body couldn't take it," you asserted.
"I'd make you take it," he promised.
You bit down on your lip, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little.  You weren't as good at feigning innocence as you seemed to think.
"Oh, you like that," he posited.  "Maybe someday I'll tie you down and make you come until all you know how to do is say my name, hm?"
"Bet it wouldn't even take you that long," you admitted.  "I already feel pretty braindead."
Testing that theory, he reached down and drew light circles over your swollen clit with his thumb, even just that subtle touch making your legs and inner walls quiver as your back arched.
"Bucky," you whimpered as you tried to push his hand away, "s'too much, please…"
"Nuh uh, pretty girl, I wanna see you fall apart again.  You know how many times I dreamed of making you come?"
You shook your head.
"Me either, but I wanna keep doing it until I feel like I've reached a number that at least comes close.  I've finally got you in my arms and I won't let you go until I've made up for all the time I wasted."
Notably, his cock which had begun to soften inside you was now getting hard again, from some combination of watching you and feeling you in this moment.
“How do you feel about a second round?” he suggested with a smirk, even as his muscles ached already.  Your eyes went wide but your walls clenched, too.  That was answer enough for him.  “I might break you,” he warned.
“Promise?” you smirked.
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youare-mysonshine · 3 years
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heavy || bucky barnes
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Summary: reader’s mental health has been taking a decline and bucky is there.
Requested: No
Pairing: TFATWS Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: talks of mental health, depression, anxiety, angst, cussing.
Word Count: 3.2K
A/N: Hey guys, I’m back I guess lmao. I’ve really been struggling with my mental health lately and I guess I kinda just wanted to put it into words, something productive? And I’ve been feeling our angsty emo boy bucky barnes. Most of you might’ve followed me for my Oscar fics but I kinda wanna branch out and I thought this would be a good time to do so. Anyways, I know that some of you have inboxed me or messaged me and I haven’t responded and I’m sorry. But I just want you all to know that if you’re struggling, I’m always here to talk. About anything, always. So, I hope you enjoy this. I might’ve cried while writing this lmao and I also might’ve ended it on such an awkward place but, i’m still getting used to writing again. (Flashbacks are in italics)
————
Bucky didn’t miss the dark circles under your eyes. He didn’t miss the way you sort of slouched as you approached him. He didn’t miss the way that your smile didn’t really meet your eyes.
“Hey,” You said in a breathless voice. “Sorry, I’m late. I got held up.” You said as you took a seat across from him in the booth. Held up. It was better than telling him that you were thinking of just not showing up at all. In the end, you knew that you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t just blow off your new friend who you had so enjoyed spending time with. So, in a rush, you got dressed and made your way to the small, quiet diner that you two had taken to frequenting together. Bucky Barnes was an enigma if you’d ever met one. The way that you had met was rather.. cliche and something straight from a story.
You had been trying to lay off of the caffeine for a while, realizing that you had nearly gone through an entire packet of 32 k-pods that you had just purchased. You realized that you might’ve had a problem. You had been going pretty strong with staying away from caffeine for the time being, until you passed by a coffee shop and got a whiff of coffee. You just couldn’t help yourself; you bought a cup of coffee. It was when you were walking down the street, holding the cup of coffee in one hand, looking down, that you didn’t see someone walking right in your path. You had collided into what seemed like a solid wall and the impact had caused you to squeeze the cup of coffee in surprise, the warm liquid burning your hand, staining your clothes and the other person. You had realized it was another person you had crashed into when you heard them let out a low cuss.
Bucky’s grumpy self had been fully prepared to tell you off for crashing into him, having just left his therapist’s office, but when you looked up at him with those bright eyes of yours, a million apologies spilling from your lips a mile a minute, he swallowed whatever harsh words had nearly sprung forth. He had apologized as well; both of you had been at fault. Bucky had been going over his session with Dr. Raynor that morning, completely lost in his own mind, and you had your eyes trained on the ground, something that was a bad habit of yours. The shock of realizing you had bumped into a man, a really really handsome man with the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen, had made you temporarily forget that you had practically scorched your hand with the coffee, and that you had gotten it on him as well.
“I’m so, so sorry.” You said once again, quickly averting your eyes from the handsome stranger’s face. Instead you focused on the smushed cup in your hand and the stains on his leather jacket. It just made you feel even terrible. “I, I can pay for you to get your jacket cleaned, if you want. Really. I wasn’t paying attention and I just, for whatever reason, squished my cup and.. I’m sorry.” You said, kind of breathlessly.
“It’s.. it’s alright.” His voice was like the coffee that you had been drinking. Smooth and rich. It was deep, something that reverberated deep in your chest and had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. “I wasn’t paying attention either. Really, it’s fine. And don’t worry about my jacket. No harm, no foul.” He said. “You should, uh, you should take care of that hand. Hope you didn’t burn yourself too bad.” He gestured to your hand, still clutching the cup, with one of his own gloved hands.
“Oh, I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that hot. Thank you, though. And again, I’m really, really sorry.” Sparing one, seemingly, last glance at the handsome stranger, you side stepped him and began to walk away, tossing the empty cup of coffee in a trash can on the sidewalk. But you didn’t get very far because that deep voice called out to you, halting you in your tracks.
“Can I buy you another cup of coffee?” Bucky’s mouth had opened and spoken the words long before his brain could even catch up. He didn’t know why he had asked you that, but something in his gut was just telling him too.
“What?” A look of total bewilderment had crossed your face and he had seen it.
“I just, well I thought that, since I bumped into you, I could make it up to you by buying you a new cup of coffee. If you wanted, I mean. You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.” Bucky clarified, hand stuffed in his pocket, waiting for your answer. For a few seconds, you simply stood there, unsure of what to say because surely this wasn’t happening? The last time that you had gone out with a guy was.. well, shit, you didn’t even remember the last time. The little voice in the back of your head, that anxious, paranoid little voice, was telling you not to go off with a stranger. You’d watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds and other true crime shows and documentaries to know that situations like this never turned out well. However, you didn’t get a bad feeling from this particular man. He seemed just as awkward and slightly frazzled as you felt. So you agreed.
“I’m Bucky, by the way.”
“Y/N.”
That had happened about two months ago. Ever since then, you and Bucky had formed a strong friendship. Your first time getting coffee with him had been awkward, as were the next few times that you had seen one another. But things got easier. Becoming friends was easy. You kind of fell into this routine, almost as if you two had known each other your whole lives. That was why Bucky telling you who he really was had been terrifying for him. He carried around guilt and shame and just contempt for everything he’d done. Everything The Winter Soldier represented, and when he told you, he figured that you would think the same. He had asked you meet him at the diner that had now become your spot and and you remember how he nervously wrung his gloved hands together. You remember when you asked him what was wrong and he didn’t verbally respond but he took off his gloves; the right one first and then the left, revealing a shiny black metal hand, golden lines intricately placed.
He told you then. Maybe he didn’t tell you everything but he told you who he was and he had braced himself for you to get up and storm out. Or, to yell at him and tell him how much of a monster he was. But, it never came. Instead, you reached out and placed your hand on top his. Not his real hand, but the metal one. You didn’t say anything. You just gave him that smile that was quickly becoming his favorite. Sometimes, silence spoke a thousand words. To Bucky, you had become kind of a respite for him. Even in the late nights or mornings when he woke up after a nightmare. Or after a particularly hard session with Dr. Raynor. He had closed himself off from other people except you.
Bucky might not have known it, but he gave you the same level of comfort as you gave him. You found yourself craving his presence. Every time you were around him, you couldn’t help but to smile or laugh. In the time that you spent together, your mind was clear and free from all your worries. It all evaporated into thin air. Your mind, usually so active with all sorts of thoughts and worries, could finally rest when you were with Bucky. You could sleep. You could get up in the morning without that stress and anxiety drowning you. It was okay. It was great.
Until it wasn’t.
“No problem, doll.” He said, gloved hands clasped under the table on his lap. “I already ordered. Got your usual. Hope that was alright.” He added, to which you nodded absentmindedly.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Thanks Buck.” You said, mustering up a half hearted smile that didn’t reach your eyes. It was like even smiling drained the energy from you. You were exhausted. Not even just physically but mentally and emotionally. You had been having such good days for a while now, since meeting Bucky. You felt like maybe you would finally be alright but.. this feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that nothing was quite right, it was heavy. It weighed you down. It suffocated you. You wanted to be alone, but you also couldn’t stand to be alone because when you were alone, you were just stuck in your head and being in your head was the absolute worst place to be.
The intrusive thoughts had started. They told you that you would do nothing but weigh Bucky down. That he didn’t need someone like you in his life, someone with clear problems of their own, when he was going to therapy trying to better himself. Even if it had been mandatory for him to go. You wanted to push him away, save him from yourself, but you also couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.
Bucky noticed the shift in you. Normally when you two met up, whether it was at the diner or anywhere else, you would usually talk his ear off. Not that he minded, he was content to just sit back and listen to you. Sometimes, you’d tell him about a new book that you had started reading. You had just started reading the fifth Harry Potter book and you were trying to get him to read them. You’d tell him about your day. You’d ask him how his day went, how it went with Dr. Raynor, though you never pushed for more information. You always let him share if he was comfortable with it and he appreciated that. Sometimes you teased him for being such an old man.
The food came soon after you had arrived and sure enough, Bucky had ordered your usual. It sent a pang through your heart when you realized that he had memorized your order, down to the extra syrup and whipped cream on the pancakes. Bucky always liked to make fun of you for ordering the same thing when you came to the diner. No matter what time it was, you always ordered the pancakes with extra syrup and extra whip cream, with the strawberries on the side. Secretly, though he found it adorable.
Today, you had barely even taken more than a few bites and that was what really let Bucky know that something wasn’t right. You kept your head down, eyes on the pancakes and you cut them up, bringing a few up to your mouth and chewing slowly, but you mostly just moved them around your plate with the fork in your hand. Bucky himself had barely taken only a few bites of the food he’d ordered for himself, but it wasn’t for lack of appetite, it was because of the growing concern. His bright blue eyes were now a stormy grey, kind of like the clouds that you see during a heavy storm. His brows were furrowed, giving him an appearance almost as if he were angry.
“You alright, Y/N? You’ve barely eaten your food and normally you finish before I do.” He attempted to joke, to bring about that smile that seemed to always fill him with warmth. He half expected you to look up at him with that cheeky little smile, a mischievous look in your eyes and say “You know, I would be offended by that, but I know why you eat so slow, Buck. I completely understand. You don’t want your dentures to fall out.” But it never came.
You don’t know what it was. Bucky asking you if you were alright or if it was simply all the pressure of just.. everything, finally breaking, but you could feel the hot tears in your eyes. They blurred your vision until you couldn’t really see the plate of the pancakes in focus. The dam had finally come apart and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You set the fork down and buried your face in your hands, your shoulders lightly shaking as you began to cry. All Bucky could do was stare for a few seconds, alarm written all over his face. Alarm and distress because he had no idea what just happened and if he had done something to upset you.
“Woah woah, hey. Sweetheart, hey. What’s wrong?” In seconds, Bucky was out of his side of the booth and scooting in beside you. You felt the comfort of his warmth, you felt his arm tentatively, almost hesitantly, slide around your shoulders and anchor you to him. You shook your head, attempting to calm down, to stop the tears but the more you tried, the more they seemed to come.
“I-I’m sorry, Bucky.. I.. I’m sorry.. I-I’m fine. Really.” You said, sniffling. It was apparent to you both that you were not alright and he really just wanted to get to the bottom of it. Or at least attempt to comfort you. But doing that in the middle of a diner with other people around wasn’t ideal.
“Hey, my apartment is only a short walk away. Come on, let’s get you out of here and somewhere more quiet.” You didn’t protest. You just nodded and slid out of the booth after he did. Bucky took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the table, paying for the uneaten food, and then quickly led you out of the establishment. He kept his hand on you, almost like an anchor. Whether it was to reassure you or himself, he didn’t know and you didn’t mind either. It was probably the only thing that kept you from retreating inside of your mind and giving in to the panic that so desperately wanted out.
You didn’t even realize that you had reached his apartment until he had led you up the stairs and you were standing behind him as he unlocked the door. He allowed you to step in first and then quickly followed behind you, shutting the door as he did so. You didn’t really get the chance to take in his apartment because he had ushered you to sit on his couch while he knelt in front of you.
“Alright, you’re scarin’ me here, doll. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” The sheer look of concern and slight panic in his face and those pretty eyes of his made the waterworks come back again. You shook your head, your face scrunched up in anguish. Hot bullet tears fell from your eyes and left a wet path in their wake down your cheeks. Bucky wasn’t one to pry; he hated it when people tried to pry into his life and he didn’t do it to you, but he couldn’t stand the sight of seeing you cry. He couldn’t stand the sight of your once bright eyes and cheery smile just.. gone. You eyes were sad and your lips were pulled into a frown. “Talk to me, baby.” He practically pleaded.
“I just.. I don’t.. I don’t know how to explain it, Buck.” You cried. “I-I.. I just feel like..” You let out a frustrated cry when you couldn’t find the right words but Bucky was patient. He reached a hand up, cupping your cheek and wiping away the tears that kept falling. “I don’t feel.. happy. Everyday I wake up and I just, I feel fine for like a few seconds and then everything just comes crashing down on me. I can’t ever stop thinking. I can’t sleep at night. I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like this, Bucky. And I feel fucking crazy. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even really like me. I feel.. hopeless, like nothing is ever going to be okay. I might feel okay for a few seconds but then it just goes away.” You explained, though you were sure that you probably sounded like a raving and ranting lunatic. “Before I met you, I liked being alone but I also hated it because when I was alone, I would just overthink and overthink and overthink about every fucking thing. If it wasn’t one thing it was another just giving me such bad anxiety and.. I don’t know what to do anymore, Bucky. I’m just tired of feeling like this. Feeling like nothing is ever going to be okay, like I’m never going to be okay. I just feel.. alone.”
His heart was well and truly broken. In the two months that he’d known you, he hadn’t known how badly you had struggled with your mental health. He hadn’t known the war that you fought within your mind, and how bad it had become. You were such saving grace for Bucky; you saved him from the wars inside of his mind. The constant feeling of guilt that he fought with on a daily basis, and now.. he just wanted to do the same for you. He wanted to shoulder some of the pain that you carried, the pain that seemed to be weighing you down. Both of his hands now cupped your cheeks so delicately, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. His blue eyes were shining, looking at you with not pity, but something like.. understanding. If anyone knew what you were feeling, it was Bucky.
“You’re not alone.” His smooth and rich voice was so soft, so gentle that it brought on a new set of tears. “You’re not alone, sweetheart. Not anymore. You know why? Cause you got me.” He said. “I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. To feel stuck in your head. To feel like nothing is ever gonna get better. I felt like that in Wakanda. Sometimes.. sometimes, we need help. And I know I’m not one to be talking considering that I don’t really like talking to my therapist or even going,” That roused the smallest of smiles from you. “I’m here. You know that, right? I’m here. You got me and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I don’t care if you have a million bad days. I don’t care if you feel like you’re bothering me. I’ll be there every time.” You two have gradually gravitated close to one another until your foreheads were pressed together. Bucky was still knelt in front of you on the couch, his hands still holding your cheeks. Your eyes were closed and you could feel his warm breath fanning your face. The tears had stopped falling but you were still sniffling softly. “You’ve helped me. Even if you don’t know it. You’ve helped me.” He was whispering. There was no one but you two in his apartment but he was still whispering the words meant for only you to hear. “Now, let me help you. Please.”
“Okay. I trust you, Bucky.”
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rhysismydaddy · 3 years
Text
Prisoner's Game Pt. 1 (Rowaelin)
Synopsis: Aelin Galathynius never thought of herself as a vengeful woman. Until her boyfriend not only testifies, but leads a case against her that lands her in prison for the rest of her life. Post I-Love-You's. He didn't believe her, and she's about to show him that not only is she innocent, he made the worst mistake of his life betting against her. To a woman with nothing but time, life's just a game, after all.
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The cinderblock wall dug into her back uncomfortably as she reclined against it, the air in the room was stale, and she hadn't showered in two days. By any measurement, Aelin Galathynius was far from her best.
And yet she somehow managed to look perfectly at ease--happy even--as she lounged in her cell, toying with the ends of her too-long hair.
It was a ruse, of course, just a little trick to piss off the man currently stomping into her space. By the flare of Rowan Whitehorn's eyes, it worked.
"Hello, Rowan," she greeted pleasantly, giving him a little smile and acting like it wasn't taking everything in her not to use the makeshift knife under her pillow to gut him like the spineless coward he was.
She could tell, even across her 8x12 cell, that he was gritting his teeth and fighting a similar action.
The heel of his expensive Italian loafers clicked as he walked across the space to the small table and took a seat at the steel chair in front of it. He tried to push it out further, but stopped when he realized it was bolted to the floor.
"Aelin," he said back, none of the so-obvious anger he was feeling present in his voice. "Been a long time."
Eight years, six months, three weeks, two days, and thirteen hours.
Not that she was counting or anything.
She nodded her agreement, reclining further on the bed and crossing her legs as if she was in the finest dress she owned, not a faded orange jumpsuit.
"What brings you to my side of town, Rowan? Here to finally switch sides and represent me?"
Dressed in a two-thousand dollar suit and tie, hair perfectly gelled back, he looked like he was successful a lawyer meeting with a wealthy client, but they both knew the last thing he'd ever do was work for her.
"You know why I'm here."
She did indeed, but she still said, "I must be exceptionally smart to know why you've come all the way here-"
"Cut the shit," he snapped, finally losing a bit of his cool. He regained it quickly, though, and continued, "I want to know how you did it."
She frowned at her split ends. "Did what?"
Rowan waited until she looked at him to respond. "You know what."
Sighing so deeply it should've rattled the walls, she said, "I can't believe I've spent the last eight years thinking you underestimated my intelligence. You clearly think I'm some sort of oracle genius."
Rowan mimicked her sigh, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.
Probably trying to stall, he spent a moment looking at her cell, at the completely bare walls and lack of photographs. All she had was the tally marks drawn in pencil on one wall and a dusty chess set sitting on the table.
When he'd taken inventory of those two things, he sat and just looked at her.
It was clear she wouldn't admit to knowing exactly why he sat in front of her, and he was simply putting off being the one to fold.
Predictable, proud little man.
Eventually, he took his loss and said, "I want to know how you managed to rob me from inside the most secure prison in Rifthold."
She smiled, a full, undulated smile she hadn't used in a long time.
She'd been planning this moment since the day the bars had locked behind her, and it felt damn good to finally see it come to fruition.
According to what she'd heard, definitely not what she knew from personal experience, the private vault in Rowan's apartment had been broken into. Apparently, only one thing was missing: an antique dagger that had been handed down in the family and was now worth over a million bucks.
"Why do you think it was me?" she asked, still smiling.
He gritted his teeth some more, and she internally snickered at the idea he'd have permanent tooth damage because of her. Something else to remember her by.
Green eyes spitting flames at her, he growled, "You left a goddamn business card."
Aelin forced her eyes up to the empty bed above her head, trying her hardest not to laugh. "Maybe I'm being framed?"
"Your fingerprints were on it."
She did laugh then, then laughed some more when his eyes narrowed. He looked like he was about to strangle her. "Rowan, in case you haven't noticed, I'm incarcerated."
She gestured around them to her cell to prove her point.
The bastard just smiled.
Of course he knows that, she thought bitterly, forcing her hand back to her lap and away from where it'd started to creep toward the pillow.
"So how would I rob you?" she asked, getting her mind back on track.
"That's what you're going to tell me," he demanded angrily. "I want to know how you got out of here, got all the way across Rifthold, broke into my apartment, and stole from me without any surveillance camera picking it up."
Aelin ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it just right. When she caught sight of the impatience on his face, she fluffed it some more and readjusted the thin jacket on her shoulders.
It was always too damn cold in this place. She hadn't been warm in almost nine years.
Because of him.
Just for that, she fluffed her hair some more.
Then she said simply, "I didn't."
"Stop lying!" he shouted at her, eyes flashing.
She wasn't, but that was besides the point.
"Fine." She rolled her eyes like he'd won. "I got my cousin to-"
"Aedion spent the night in Wendlyn. His travel is verified, and there are at least a hundred eye witnesses that witnessed him singing karaoke all night. Stop. Fucking. Lying."
Once again, she wasn't lying.
Aedion sure as hell hadn't been in Wendlyn last night. She'd just wanted to make sure his alibi was air-tight as planned.
Sighing again, she asked, "Rowan, even if I did do it, why the hell would I tell you about it?"
His jaw worked for a moment, and she could tell whatever he was about to say was difficult for him. "I'll get time off your sentence if you tell me what you've done with it."
She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it.
It burst out of her, full and uncontrollable, and she flopped over on the dirty mattress and howled for a good few minutes.
He glared at her, looking for all the world like he was experiencing a portion of the rage she was made of, but regardless of the threat in his eyes, she took her time composing herself.
"I'm serving ten consecutive life sentences, you idiot."
One for each and every one of her "victims."
"I'll make it nine," he offered generously.
"Even if I was a cat, that'd still leave me dying in a prison cell. Offer me something else."
He just glared at her, unwilling to give her anything she could actually use or want. Just like she'd expected.
"That's what I thought. So no, Rowan Whitehorn, I'm not accepting your little deal. You can think I robbed you all you want; hell, you can even know, in your famous gut, that I did it." She tilted her head, a cruel smile filling her lips. "But it isn't about what you believe, it's about what you can prove. Isn't that right?"
His eyes shuttered at the words, and just like that, they were sucked into the memory of all those years ago.
~Eight years ago~
~Rowan~
Rowan rolled over, edging away from the woman next to him carefully as to not wake her.
Her hair was spread out on his chest, her soft hand was on his stomach, and her leg was draped over his. By all accounts, she was all over him.
And it felt so fucking good.
He'd never met anyone like Aelin before. Anyone so full of life, so hilariously open.
It was like she was constantly on fire, flitting from one place to the next with endless energy and jabs about him being too old and slow.
"What are you going?" she murmured, nails digging in slightly to keep him where he was.
"To get some water. Go back to sleep."
He leaned down and kissed her brow, and she sighed happily and rolled over. Like a total cliché, he watched her sleep for a moment, trying to get his feelings under control.
They'd been seeing each other for less than a year, but he couldn't imagine his life without her. He was in love with her, and if the way she acted and smiled around him was any indication, she loved him, too.
He ran a thumb over her cheekbone, smiling when she tilted her face into his touch.
He was whipped, and he didn't even care.
Rowan shook his head at himself, pulled on a pair of boxers, padded to the kitchen, and held a glass under the faucet.
Then frowned as it sputtered.
He figured he'd at least make himself useful, knowing damn well she would never agree to call the plumber when she could "figure out how to fix it herself on Youtube."
So he knelt down in her kitchen and opened the cabinet door, trying to see what the problem with the pipe was.
Except he never got that far.
His eyes got stuck on the piece of paper sticking out under a false piece of wood covering the back panel.
Knowing it was wrong to pry but somehow unable to stop himself, he tugged the paper loose.
Then fell backwards to his ass, heart hammering and brain spinning as he read it over and over again.
The list of names wasn't long, but all ten of the people on it were highly distinguished members of society.
And they were all dead.
He wouldn't know that, since the death of the last person on the list wasn't even public record yet, but he was the attorney working with the police to find the killer.
Why did she have this list?
And what did the numbers next to the names mean?
One way or another, he knew he had to find out. He also knew he couldn't ask her. He was in too deep, too unbiased to know whether or not she was lying.
He didn't trust himself with her, so he'd have to go the traditional route.
He took a picture of the paper quickly, tucking it back where he'd found it. He snuck back in the room to get dressed, leaving her a note he had to go to work.
He thought he was going to be sick as he left her apartment, a feeling suspiciously similar to dread coiling in his stomach.
There was only one way she could know that last name, only one explanation that made sense.
But he had to know for sure. Had to know if he'd been an idiot this past year; an idiot who'd spent almost every night sleeping next to the killer he'd been searching for.
So he started investigating his girlfriend.
Six days later, he found the security deposit boxes and the murder weapons inside, still covered in dried blood that would be matched to the victims. All with Aelin's prints on them.
Two days after that, the woman he'd thought was the love of his life was arrested on ten counts of murder.
Despite the tears she shed, despite the promises she made to him, despite the love she claimed to have for him, Rowan told the cops everything.
Even though he couldn't imagine her killing anyone.
"It doesn't matter what I believe, it matters what I can prove."
That was the last thing he'd said to her, right as she was being dragged out of the court room and yelling at him to believe her.
The truth of the matter was that when it came down to it, he didn't trust her enough. The facts were against her, everyone on the jury had been against her, and in the end, Rowan was too.
~Present~
~Aelin~
Rowan shook his head, almost like he needed to clear it from the memory they'd obviously both been immersed in, and she smiled.
She hoped what happened all those years ago still haunted him, hoped he went to sleep at night thinking about her and the betrayal he'd served to her on a silver platter.
The first year of her sentence, she was so lost in emotion--in the rage and confusion and deep, deep hurt--that she couldn't bring herself to do anything.
He hadn't even bothered to ask her first. That's what had hurt the worst.
He'd seen that stupid, stupid list and had jumped to the first conclusion possible.
She knew it had looked bad, had looked like she was guilty, but she'd thought that if the worst happened, he'd at least ask her to explain before slapping the cuffs on her.
But he hadn't. She'd gone to prison, and his career had exploded into stardom from the success of the case.
"See, Rowan, when you refused to accept any other explanation other than the easy one, you made a mistake. Because I didn't kill those people."
He rolled his eyes. "Aelin-"
"And I'm not only going to prove it," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I'm going to ruin your precious little life while I do it. Just like you did mine."
She stood, put a hand on the steel table, and leaned over him.
"If you want it to stop, all you have to do is drop these bullshit murder charges and issue a public apology for locking me up in the first place."
He stood too, so close his loafers brushed the toe of her dusty, prison issued sneakers.
"That's never going to happen," he promised, voice uncompromising and angry.
Aelin smiled, having predicted his reaction down to the facial expression.
His pride, she'd decided, would be the first thing to go.
She reached around him to slide the pawn on the chess board forward, leaned in even further, and whispered, "Let the game begin, then."
~~~~~~~~~~
Part 2
@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @gracie-rosee @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace
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anyoneseenadam · 3 years
Note
sub!azriel but the reader and him aren't together yet and she keep teasing him without knowing until he finally has enough and goes and begs her
Pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)
Warnings: smut, sub!az, slight degradation, lotta fluff tho
A/n: so i kinda did the ending of this drunk while watching pulp fiction so if it’s confusing that’s why and I apologise lol
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He had first met you while training the priestesses. You were a friend of Emerie’s. A fae woman that almost brought him to his knees with a single look.
You had nervously spoken to Cassian about joining in the training and had progressed past his group and into Cassian’s within two weeks.
That was probably for the best.
Besides your original nerves, you had thrown yourself into training - eyes always on him as he spoke and went through moves, moved which you copied with the precision of a ballerina.
He had withered under your kind gaze, soft eyes making him want to fall into you and let you fight away all his fears. And whenever you had spoken to him it was with undivided attention, always listening carefully and providing whatever he needed - whether it was someone to complain to or someone to laugh with.
The night he fell in love with you however was different. He had gone into the library searching for Nesta and found her with Emerie, Gwyn and you, all relaxing in soft clothing.
He had almost fallen over when he saw you in an oversized hoodie with tight shorts and baby pink toenails, your face clean of makeup and still somehow the prettiest he had ever seen.
You had smiled brightly when you saw him, patting the empty space beside you and - unable to deny you - he had come to sit beside you, shivering when you lay your head on his shoulder with your book abandoned in you lap.
As he sat, Gwyn carried on explaining a new concept she had been exploring with her tutor when you spoke up, “But you’re basing that hypothesis presuming the butterfly effect doesn’t exist.”
He tilted his head down then, as you sat up, frowning at the loss of contact while Nesta barely hid her smug grin behind her hand as she watched the interaction.
“The butterfly effect?” Gwyn asked, grabbing a notebook as you smiled.
“We’ll you’re talking about fate, saying that everything is predetermined. But the butterfly effect proposes that anything, even something as small as a butterfly flapping it’s wings, can change the whole course of the future and can split reality into different pathways. This creates alternate realities, one were the butterfly flaps it’s wings and one were it doesn’t, and even such a small change is still a change.”
He didn’t really understand your concept but Gwyn was furiously scribbling things down and scoring things out as you continued.
“So yes, there is a large chance that maybe once there was a predetermined set of events, but as things change and as people are born and stray from these paths, there is no feasible way to ensure everything goes exactly as determined.” You spoke with your hands, something he had never noticed before. You explained the concept slowly and clearly to Gwyn as you discussed the topic in depth, your face lighting up as you spoke about the unknown.
He fell in love then, when he watched you speak so enthusiastically about a topic he had no idea about. But even with a lack of knowledge he wanted to hear all about it - wanted to become so well versed in it that one day you might look at him the way he looked at you.
The problem there was that in his love drunk state, subtleties went out the window. You’d had suspicions before but now, with him blatantly staring at you, you were sure.
You had spoken to Nesta about him before and discovered he didn’t have the greatest track record of admitting his feelings so you decided to step it up a notch, ready to bust out all the tools that would make him confess.
You decided to start simple; removing your top during training and continuing in your sports bra, leaving lingering touches on his shoulders or hands, turning on what Emerie lovingly deemed your ‘sex eyes’ when you spoke to him. And it seemed to be working, he started avoiding your gaze and would pause speaking whoever you touched him, subconsciously leaning into your hand or gently laying his head atop your when you placed yours on his shoulder.
It wasn’t for a couple weeks however that you made a startling discovery. You had decided to make some cupcakes and Azriel had run into you in the kitchen - accepting your offer to help. He had been doing an amazing job delicately filling the cases with batter and you smiled when he finished without spilling a drop.
“Ugh perfect! You did amazing Az!” You had exclaimed, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before opening the over with one hand and balancing the tray in the other.
He had made a sound under his breath and when you turned back you found him bright red and looking down with a shy smile on his face. Then it clicked why your beautiful, strong spy always seemed so nervous around you. He was a sub.
You were ecstatic the rest of the day, having hit the jackpot with Azriel and with a plan forming in your head. He wasn’t likely to admit his feelings to you but you had an idea that would make sure he had them before you did anything else.
The next day you saw him at training, smiling warmly at him as you usually did and hopping over to speak to him before you got started.
“Hey Az, did u get a cupcake last night?” You asked, smiling brightly when he blushed bright red having run off soon after receiving your praise with a half assed excuse about finding Cassian.
“Yeah they were amazing,” he said, finally meeting your eyes as you looked up at him expectantly.
“Ah couldn’t have done it without your help,” you praised and he blushed looking down again. You heard Cassian call your name impatiently and turned to stick your finger up at him, “Gotta go but we should hang out again tonight.”
He nodded with a smile, equal parts delighted and terrified at the idea of spending so much time with you.
“That’s a plan! See you tonight pretty boy,” you said, walking away while he stared dumfounded at your back. That - that was new.
He fumbled his way through training the priestesses, maybe pushing them slightly too hard because it meant he had plenty to do that didn’t involve thinking about you or about what seeing you tonight entailed.
Or that you thought he was pretty.
You on the other hand, couldn’t get through training quickly enough. You were finishing moves and sequences before Cassian even said them so used to his rhythm that he ended up just letting you leave when you were finished before everyone else - not without rolling his eyes dramatically however.
As you walked out Azriel couldn’t help his eyes from following you as you sauntered away with flushed, glowing skin and your hair swaying with every step as you shook it out. You shot a final look over your shoulder as you left to go shower, waving at him when you caught him staring with mischievous eyes.
You left quickly to go shower and get somewhat ready, ensuring you smelt good and pulling on your favourite underwear. You then decided to fuck with him and pulled on an oversized t-shirt that you kept from an ex-boyfriend on account of how soft it was and your smallest, softest shorts. You had finished getting ready and were making yourself an ice coffee when Azriel walked in with flushed cheeks, wiping sweat from his forehead with his shirt.
You whistled when you saw him and his eyes met yours, widening comically when he saw your bare legs - shorts barely visible beneath your large shirt.
“You alright hot stuff?” You asked as he moved to grab some bread from next to you. He inhaled sharply when you spoke and you barely contained your giggle,
“Want an ice coffee babes?”
“Um sure I don’t I-“ he stumbled over his words as his brain slowed trying to form a single thought other than your soft legs and even softer lips.
“I’ll make you one,” you said with a laugh, “so what do you want to do today?”
“I really don’t mind,” he muttered, watching as you mixed the drink for him and pressed it into his hand with a smile.
“What about a spa day, when was the last time you got to relax?”
“Cauldron I don’t think I’ve ever done that,” he joked and you smiled.
“Let’s do that then, I’ll get you so relaxed your bones will liquify,” you grabbed his hand as you pulled him out of the kitchen and started leading him to your room.
“Do- do I want that?” He asked and you squeezed his hand,
“You’ll understand soon,” you laughed.
You started with face masks and manicures, conversation flowing easily between the two of you despite Azriel’s nerves and the electricity that shot through him every time you touched him.
You were sitting reading together a while later when you shoved your book down and turned, your eyes focusing on him. He felt your heated gaze and tilted his head to meet your eyes, furrowing his eyebrows.
“What?” He asked,
“You’re pretty,” you said suddenly, reaching a hand to trace his jaw gently. He went comically red and you smiled.
“What? I- you think I’m,” he stuttered and you giggled, nodding.
“Yeah you’re so pretty,” he could feel himself grow hard, blushing impossibly hard at your words.
“Say it again,” he forced out and you smiled - reaching a hand to rest on his thigh, stroking it gently as you spoke again.
“You’re so pretty, and I’m sure you’d be so good for me would you?” Your voice got lower as you spoke, Azriel whimpering as you slid your hand up his thigh. “Do you want that? Wanna be my good boy?”
Azriel’s eyes widened and his hips bucked up slightly as he nodded, movements small and insecure.
“Words sweet boy, I need you to say you want this,”
“I want this!” He practically shouted and you laughed sweetly,
“I’m so glad baby, I’ve wanted you for so long,” you confessed - stroking his face gently as you moved to straddle him.
“You- you have?” He was confused and feeling a million feelings at once but so happy with the position he found himself in.
“Mhm and if I’m correct I think you have to,” he nodded quickly underneath you, his hands flying up to grab your hips as you started slowly rolling your hips over him.
“I have,” his voice was already so desperate and you had barely touched him, smiling as you leaned down to press kisses gently into his jaw.
“Mm good boy,” you whispered, “would you like me to touch you now?”
He shook his head and you furrowed your eyebrows, looking down at him with concern filled eyes.
“Wanna touch you instead,” he whimpered out and you cooed stroking his hair.
“Awe baby, go ahead,” you giggled, climbing off his lap as he crawled off your bed and kneeled on the floor - eyes wide as you spread your legs in front of him. He gently removed your shorts and panties, inhaling sharply and your pretty pussy was revealed to him. He looked up at you with his doe eyes, whispering as he silently begged you for permission - but you just smiled and laughed at him with a gentle hand stroking through his hair.
“Please miss I’ll be so good for you, please just wan’make you feel good,” he begged and you relented.
“Okay baby boy,” he swung forward so quickly and buried himself into your pussy, spitting on it before devouring you. His long fingers spread your folds open and he probed your tight hole with his tongue, thumb coming up to rub circles on your clit as he moaned against your heat.
He ate you out like it was his sole purpose in life, putting all he had into the task - almost delirious as he finally got what he had wanted for so long. The days he had spent daydreaming about your soft legs that were now wrapped around his head, the nights he had spent thinking of your pillow lips and how sweet you would sound as you told him what you wanted him to do.
“Oh baby you’re doing so well for me, so good baby. My good boy,” he moaned loudly against your pussy, hips rutting into air.
“M’ yours, all yours,” he cried, pushing two long fingers into your tight pussy and twisting them as he looked up, meeting your eyes as you tangled a hand in his hair.
“Make me come then baby, prove you’re my good boy,” he nodded against you - desperate to make you happy as he worked with renewed vigour. “Azriel baby you’re so good at this.” Your moans were like music to his ears as he scissored his fingers inside you, sucking on your clit hard enough to make you see stars. You swore - hand tightening in his hair - as he pressed into your sweet spot and sucked particularly hard on your clit at the same time, coming hard with an arched back as Azriel stared up at you. Awed at how he had tamed the goddess above him.
You ended up having to pull him off of your pussy as he whined, wet lips pouting as they tried to get back to you.
“No baby no more,” your voice was stern and he whined as you pulled him up to his feet, standing with him and spinning the two of you around.
He was considerably taller than you but even the height difference didn’t negate the power you had over him and when you shoved him down onto the bed and straddled him - kissing him harshly with your fingers squeezing his cheeks together.
“You’re so good baby, so good,” you whispered into his mouth.
“Did I do well?” His voice was so soft that you cooed and kissed him again.
“So, so well that you deserve a reward,” he looked up at you with those hazel eyes you loved so much, “do you want that, want to fuck me?”
“Yes miss, yes please wan’ fuck you so bad. S’all I think about,” you could never resist Azriel and now he was begging, you couldn’t deny him anything.
You reached down to pull his cock out of his pants, choking on a breath at his size. “Fuck baby, you’ve been holding out on me,” your hand moved on its own accord, pumping him slowly - needing two hands to hold him.
He was moaning lowly as you pumped him, precum leaking out the tip and making it easier for you to slip onto him, sinking down until you were fully seated and you could see a faint bulge through your belly.
“God you’re so big baby, filling me up so well.” You moaned as Azriel tried to form a single coherent thought other than how tight and wet you were.
“Do I feel good baby? Do you like having me wrapped around you?” You asked and he simply moaned in reply. You continued bouncing as you waited for a response but when he didn’t reply you slapped his cheek lightly.
“Words Azriel I asked you a question.” Your words were harsh but you spoke with a sickly sweet tone.
“You feel so good, didn’t know you could feel this good. So tight,” he moaned loudly when you clenched down on him, his words making a new gush of wetness coat his cock.
You smiled, drawing a hand over his hair as you bounced in his lap, the strength in your legs only letting you lift yourself halfway up his cock before you’re sinking back down.
“Fuck Az, baby you’re so big,” you whined into his mouth as you kissed him and he responded with a low grunt - his mind and body completely under your control, despite your intentions.
“I’m gonna come miss, please please let me come,” he begged after a few minutes of your hips rolling slowly over his and you laughed, holding him in your arms.
“Awe such a needy baby,” you cooed, “gonna come so early baby, needy slut.”
He whimpered underneath you, hips rutting into you as his hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise - desperately trying to stop himself from cumming as you were yet to give him explicit permission.
But that was a losing battle as he lost himself in the warmth of your cunt. He was throbbing within you, pulsating as you clenched around him, the sounds your pussy made as he pushed into your body. He was addicted to the small whimpers leaving your mouth and as he watched you move he knew he would never be able to let you go. He had fallen so hard over the short time he had known you and now he watched you take over his body when you had already taken his soul.
“Please can I come miss, please,” his begs were so soft that you nodded, kissing him again.
“Let go for me baby, show me you’re mine,” you commanded and he shook underneath you, coming with a string of curses.
“‘M yours miss, all yours please,” his eyes were teary and voice broken, but he looked so happy as he stared up at you - mouth hanging open in a silent sob.
He reached a hand between you rubbing your clit gently as you came all over his cock with a loud moan and shudder. He guided you through your orgasm, refusing to take his eyes off of you, completely entranced with you.
When you had both come down from your powerful orgasms, you climbed off him and stood to retrieve a wash cloth and to relieve yourself in the bathroom. When you returned Azriel was staring up at you with tired and nervous eyes.
You cleaned him up gently, pressing gentle kisses into his face and lips as you did so.
“You okay baby?” You asked when you were finished, pulling him into your arms as you lay back down - his head on your chest.
“I’m so good right now,” he whispered, propping his chin on your chest and looking up at you, “was that- was I alright?”
His voice was so small and you furrowed your brows, “baby you were so good, perfect.” You promised, stroking his hair and leaning to kiss his head gently.
“Are you sure cause I-“
“Baby,” you cut him off, “you’re all I want, I’ve wanted this for so long and you were so good. Was it good for you?”
He nodded furiously and you laughed as he came up to kiss you, “then we’re all good baby.”
“I think I love you,” he whispered into your mouth and you smiled.
“I think I love you too.”
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The Way You Make Me Feel (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
[Marvel-Masterlist]
Summary: Steve sent Bucky & you on a mission together. Nothing special, you worked well together, after all. This time, you had to go undercover. Pretending to be a couple. Your frustration after an unsuccessful night needed to be released. Bucky had something in mind.
Words: 3,137
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut, oral sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, protected sex bc Buck’s a responsible person, this is pure filth, I don’t know what else you want me to say…, language, undercover mission gone wrong, I wanted to write angst??? What happened? …oopsie? I’ll go take a cold shower now.
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
Bucky Barnes. Used to be the Winter Soldier. Now the White Wolf. Muscular body. Broad shoulders. That metal arm of his that did unspoken things to you. Basically, he had ruined every other man for you. Unfortunately, he was not yours. He never would be yours. Coworkers. You were coworkers. Nothing more, nothing less.
The teasing was a given. Both, Bucky & you, had personalities that made it impossible to not flirt with each other. It was all playful, of course. Nothing would ever come out of it. Though, you would have lied if you said that you did not wish for it to change. His strut so manly, so strong. Thank God he was oblivious to how your body reacted whenever he was around. Those accidental touches. His hand touching your lower back. Everything set your body on fire. If it was not enough for him to be so hot, of course he had the most charming smiles to top everything off. It was unfair.
It was even worse that the entire team had picked up on the way you eyed Bucky. How whenever he entered the room, your eyes could not fixate on anything else. How your smile got wider whenever he talked. No matter how hard you tried, you fell for him. Harder & harder each day. The chemistry between you guys was no secret. Which was why you usually got teamed up with Bucky to complete missions together. But that was all there ever was. Constant flirting, teasing. Anything beyond that did not exist.
Another mission with him. Undercover. Your absolute favorite. You would have been fine with Sam or anyone else for that matter. But Bucky? Things were bound to get complicated. It was inevitable. Posing as a couple? Really? As if things were not bad enough already. A couple usually shared a room. You understood that. The thing was that you guys were not together. Not outside of this mission. So you had to deal with your emotions for him while being in the exact same room. With one bed. Yeah, things were starting great. After finishing up here, you would kill Steve for sure. He knew about your crush on Bucky. Probably the reason he liked to send you somewhere together. Apparently, it was incredibly exhausting to watch you guys dance around your feelings. You were a lot of things. A dancer was not one of them. More like an observer. Watching from afar to avoid stupid mistakes. That was more fitting.
Gala number one was over. Without any luck. There was no new information & nothing that brought you closer to your target. Just hours of unnecessary pretending & fake laughing. That was exhausting. Especially if Bucky had to be close to you all night long. Always an arm around your waist. A kiss on the cheek for effect. If it were not for this stupid mission, you would have enjoyed every single second of it. Sadly, it was an act. That thought alone broke your heart into a million pieces. Not even you were sure when your feelings for Bucky started. It was like you were thrown into ice cold water all of a sudden & now you had to deal with the aftermath.
Unsuccessful missions always left you frustrated. This type of frustration that let you overthink every little detail. What if you did this? What if you did not do that? What if, what if, what if. Mind being filled with so many thoughts, it was barely possible to stay sane. Even worse, you still had a couple of nights ahead of you. If you did not finish this job then you should not head back. Great. If all nights turned out like this, you would throw yourself out of a window. No, really. You were exhausted.
His body language revealed how stressed he was as well. Completely tense, clenched jaw. He did not like it any more than you did. Truthfully, he was even angrier than you. While the two of you worked well together, when things did not go your way, it could get pretty heated real fast. Words thrown at each other’s heads. Blaming the other one for that particular thing because if that did not happen, then you would have finished this mission already. It took a few hours until the tension died down again. An apology later & you were back to normal.
Not today, it seemed. The two of you were worse after that gala. Maybe it was because you felt uncomfortable all night. Maybe it was because you had to stay here for however long. Maybe it was just him. Him acting like a shy gentleman. Like the husband obsessed with his wife. Wanting to show her off whenever the chance was given. Tonight, you were her. You were his wife. You were the one he wanted to show off. But you were not really her. Just a fraction, if anything. He pretended & so did you. At least that was what you told yourself. Deep down, it was so much more than just pretending. It was like giving in to a craving you had had for years. And while it was not much, it had to do. Had to be enough. Because that was the most you would ever receive. The most he would ever give you. How you wished this were not the case.
So why the hell was he staring even more intensely than usual? Why the hell did he eye you up & down like a hungry animal waiting for the perfect timing to attack its prey? Why the hell did his hands clench into fists? And why the hell did it affect you so much? So much, in fact, that your thighs pressed together involuntarily. An action that did not go unnoticed by him. Standing up, flexing his muscles. Eyes that looked darker in the barely lit room. His never leaving yours when he approached you carefully. He took his time. You knew he did it to give you enough time to escape this situation if you really wanted to. You did not, though. For once, you wanted to give in. For once, you wanted your body to fully feel. Feel him. All of him.
His body was only mere inches away from yours. The exposed skin on your back pressing against the cold wall of your hotel room. The dress did not cover much. Enough to keep the others interested. And apparently to keep him interested, too. Both of his arms came up to rest next to your head. By now, he was caging you with his entire body. An action that let goosebumps appear. You breathed the same air. It seemed like the time stood still. Everything that kept on was you & him. In that hotel room. Against the wall. If he decided to lower his head just a little, your lips would be touching. He did not. No. If this was about to happen then he wanted to take his time with you. Tease you. Hear you. Feel you. Your breathing picked up its pace. He had not even touched you yet but you were already reacting like this. His smirk showed you how much he truly enjoyed having you putty in his hands. One of his legs moved slightly. Until his knee opened your legs slowly. His thigh pressed against your center. Barely, barely enough pressure to give you any form of satisfaction. Yet, you could not help but whimper at his touch. To shut you up, he pressed his soft lips against yours in a passionate kiss. There was no hint of gentleness behind his actions. Just purely heated with a desperation that made you weak at the knees. You melted into his touch, your hands roaming all over his chest. Any way to bring him closer to your body. His metal hand found itself at your waist while his other one cupped your cheek. An almost tender action that balanced out his rough & relentless kiss. It was like he was your drug & now that you got a taste of him, you would never let go again.
When his hands brushed over your shoulders to push the straps of your dress down, your breath hitched in your throat. His mouth went down to your neck, sucking & gently biting every now & then. You moaned when he reached a certain spot. Staying at this place, he focused solely on it all while pushing your gown further down your curves. The moment it reached the floor, he took a step back to take in your full beauty. To him, you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. Not wasting another second, he dropped to his knees in front of you. So close to where you wanted him the most. Where you needed him. His hands grabbed your hips tightly. It would sure leave bruises but you knew you would love looking at them after waking up. Because he did that to you. Kissing his way down your belly, he made sure to focus on his task. His eyes opened when he reached your panties. Silently asking for permission. You were too far gone already so you eagerly nodded at him, threading your hands through his soft locks. A slight push earned you a groan. One, that went straight to your pussy. But he would not give in that easily. After all, he had waited so long for this to happen. He would savor it in great detail. His flesh hand kneaded one of your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You were in a state of bliss & he had barely touched you. That was enough to let him know what he did to you. Before you could even process what he was doing, he pulled your panties off in one swift motion & slid his metal fingers through your slit. The coldness of it made your excitement grow even more. Usually, you would feel embarrassed by how wet you were. But this was Bucky. With him, it was different. An approving hum coming from him was enough confirmation. You had no need to be ashamed.
His fingers worked slowly, almost lazily. He knew how to push your buttons. By the way he touched you, so skilled, with such certainty, it was like he knew your body better than you did. Bucky encouraged you to be noisy, he wanted to hear you. The sweet moans, the whimpers, that he caused. He was the reason for them. Finally, he found your clit & put more pressure on it. Rubbing it in a steady motion. You could feel your orgasm building up already. You wanted to warn him, wanted to let him know that you needed a tiny bit more. He got the message when you pulled his hair tighter. While his finger stayed on your bundle of nerves, his head dipped lower, using his tongue to eat you out. And holy shit. That man knew what he was doing. He was so skilled, you assumed he had had tons of women before you. Right now, you could not care less. Your entire focus was on his ministrations & how his tongue entering you mixed with his fingers on your clit brought you higher & higher. Gripping his hair harder made him groan into you. That was all it took for you to let go. Your thighs shook & if it were not for Bucky steadying you, you would have fallen to the floor. For a few seconds, your vision was all blurry. That had never happened before. All the people who you had been with had never managed to satisfy you quite like this.
Again, his lips met yours. This time, you could taste yourself on them. And if it were possible, it turned you on even more. Both of his hands went to the back of your thighs, lifting you up with ease. He walked over to the bed & laid you down gently. All while his lips stayed locked onto yours. He propped himself up on his arms in order not to crush you with his weight. It was only then when you realized that he was still entirely dressed. Which was not really fair, considering that you were completely bare in front of him. Your hands went to open the buttons of his shirt but since you were still shaky after that first mind blowing orgasm he gave you, you could not quite succeed with that. A low chuckle escaped Bucky & his face left yours to help you out. His frantic actions showed you how he did not want to waste any more time. You barely had enough time to appreciate his body in its full glory. His muscles. His soft skin. Bucky knew what he wanted & he wanted it now.
He topped you, this time you opened your legs for him to slip in between. The kisses grew more & more passionate. But before you could get lost into it once again, he pulled away from you entirely. Your eyes opened, concern written all over your features. Bucky shushed you before you had the chance to ask if you did something wrong. Crossing the room in no time, he came back with a condom in his hand. The wink he sent you made you breathe easier. So he was not about to leave you. Opening the package, he took one of his arms to stroke over his thick cock. Sitting up, you kissed him while taking the condom from him. Your hand grabbed his wrist & you replaced his with yours, mimicking his previous motions. He groaned lowly & you smirked at his reaction. Twisting your hands just right, you picked up your pace. By the way his breath got heavier, you assumed that he was enjoying it. Suddenly, he pushed you away from him. Not hard, just so you would get the message. You knew what he was getting at. Giving him another short peck, you rolled the condom on & laid back down on the mattress. He followed your motions & set himself between your legs again. One arm on each side of your head as to not hurt you. His tip teased your entrance. Slowly sliding up & down to gather you slickness. Whenever he touched your clit, a moan left your mouth. That went on for a while. After all, Bucky made it his job to tease you. When the whimpers got too much, he asked you a simple question. In that deep, lust-filled voice of his.
“What do you want, doll?” you knew what he was trying to do. He wanted you to beg for him. But you were not that type of person. Not usually. Bucky was the exception. And he only had to ask that question twice before you gave in, the frustration clearly audible.
“Please, Buck. Please, I need you.” that did the job. In one swift motion, he entered you, filling you up so painfully right. That familiar, delicious sting. He stilled for a second. While he knew that he wanted to make this rough, he did not want to hurt you in any way. So he let you adjust to his size. Only when you moved your hips slightly & when you moaned out his name did he start his thrusts.
At first, he set a steady pace. Long, deep thrust that made your breasts bounce in the sweetest way possible. Not once did he close his eyes. No, he wanted to remember everything about this. Everything about you. You being under him. It did not take long for you to beg him for more. Giving in, he quickened his thrusts. Now, much deeper than before. He reached places inside of you you did not even know existed. The entire bed was moving & for once, you did not care if anybody heard you. All that mattered was the man on top of you. The man who made you feel like this. Like you were a goddess that needed to be devoured. During this moment, you felt like the prettiest woman on Earth. Bucky made you feel like that. You hated your body’s reaction to him. Because you could already feel your second orgasm building up. You did not want this to end so soon. You did not want to let go. But you knew you could not hold it back. Not much longer. Not if Bucky kept going like this. Somehow trying to signal that you were close, Bucky got an idea. His entire weight was now on his right arm while his metal one made its way between your bodies. Before he touched you there, he gave you an order. One that you could not help but obey.
“Open your eyes, doll. I wanna see you cum for me.” he said it in such a sexy way, barely above a whisper, but loud enough for you to understand that he was serious. So you did. You opened your eyes, locking them with his. That was when his metal fingers started rubbing fast circles around your clit. The noises coming from you got louder & louder. You were so close. When his thrusts did not slow down, you knew you would be there soon. The last bit it took came from Bucky, lips brushing your over your cheek, breathing another order in your ear.
“Cum for me. Yeah, that’s it. Cum all around me.” you had never heard something so hot coming from him. His words brought you over the edge. For the second time tonight, you saw dark spots clouding your vision. Bucky watching you cum under him made him reach his high as well. He bit your shoulder when he did. The pain mixed beautifully with the ecstasy you were currently experiencing.
He stilled inside of you, the two of you breathing heavily. You had never felt this satisfied after sleeping with someone. Slipping out of you, he rolled onto his side, propping his head onto his arm. There it was again. His charming smile. While he was a shy, polite gentleman outside of this room, he sure as hell did not hold back in bed. And you were glad that he did not. Smiling at him, too, he leaned in one more time for another kiss. This time, it was soft. Delicate. Not like the ones you shared only a few minutes ago. This sweet, romantic moment got interrupted when Bucky gripped your hips & rolled you on top of him so you were straddling his lap.
“I’m not done with you, doll.” yeah, it was about to be a long, tiring night.
Published (04/07/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @sweetserendipity65, @buckysleftarm420, @longinusfilibuster, @kathsheaven, @your-local-awkward-barista, @xfeliciahardyx (thanks for your support <3)
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oikawaplssteponme · 3 years
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locked lips
pairing: Pro Hero! Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader
ratings/warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI [please im literally begging you], swearing, legal consumption of alcohol, slight praise, fingering, use of the name ‘baby’, deku being a little bit of a cocky jerk, unprotected intercourse, make-up sex
genre: ex’s to lovers, smut, aged up characters, fluff/angst (?)
word count: ~2.2k words
synopsis: You broke up with him on impulse. That doesn’t mean you stopped loving him. Now you’re back at his place, at a party you planned, with him looking just so desirable. What else were you to do?
a/n: hi hi! alright friends, this being my first nsfw post i cannot stress enough how important it is that minors don’t interact. if i catch any minors interacting with this post, ill delete this post and block them, which i obviously don’t want to have to do. just please respect these rules :)) anyway, reblogs are greatly appreciated and enjoy xx
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You scrolled through your phone, mindlessly. You tried your best not to double tap on any of the pictures on your screen. The last thing you needed was for him to know you were stalking his page.
“You should start getting ready,” said Uraraka. You looked over at her, cocking a brow.
“Uh I'm not going?” you huffed. Uraraka sat down beside you.
“Don’t be like that Y/N. You still have to go tonight, regardless of Deku.”
“The party is at Deku’s house. I’d look like a total idiot showing my face there after we broke up.”
You sat up and crossed your arms. Ochaco sighed. She grabbed your shoulders.
“Y/N, you are gonna go to the party and make Deku regret his entire life. Anyway, I’m bringing you as my plus one, so you have to come!”
You sighed. “Fine, but I’m staying with you the whole night.”
Ochaco smiled and gave you a quick hug. She got up and began scanning through her closet again.
You had been staying with Uraraka since you and Izuku had broken up. It was a blow out fight. You yelled at him for caring about work more than you. He shouted at you for not being understanding of his career. The words you meant mixed with the words you didn’t, and chaos erupted between you and him. So, you packed a bag and left. You didn’t want to, but you were done.
While you and Deku were still together, you helped him plan an event for him and his fellow Pro Heroes, as an opportunity for them all to get together. Now, you would be attending that same event. Only, not with him.
“Who would’ve thought there’d be a day where I’d have too many clothes to choose from,” laughed Ochaco. You smiled.
“You should wear that pink dress Iida bought you for your birthday. I don’t think you’ve worn it out yet.”
“You think? It’s not too much…”
“Of course not! You’ll look hot,” you teased. Ochaco smiled.
“Alright alright I’ll wear it. But then you have to wear this!” She pulled out a bag from her closet and handed it to you.
“Please don’t tell me you bought me something…”
“I had to! All your clothes are still at his place...and I wanted to make sure you felt good tonight.”
You gave Ochaco a nudge and pulled out the tissue paper. You felt the soft material in between your fingertips, pulling it out from the bag.
“Uraraka...”
“No need to thank me. You’ve been through hell and back these last few weeks, the least I could do is get you a pretty dress.”
You jumped towards your friend, engulfing her in a hug.
“Thank you.”
“Hey now, let’s get ready! The limousine will be here in just a few hours!”
~
You sat in the back of the limo with Ochaco as you were on your way to Deku’s party. You looked like a million bucks. A little part of you hoped someone would take notice.
The estate where Izuku lived was gated off. Once you were let inside, you could see the beaming lights from the top of the hill. You felt your stomach clench, nerves building inside of you. You wanted to see him, but you also didn’t want to see him doing better without you. You haven’t even been apart that long. A month maybe? Certainly not long enough for him to be over you, because you certainly weren’t over him.
“Oh wow, Deku went all out!” cheered Ochaco. You looked to see the endless decorations and glamor that surrounded you.
“Yeah, these were my ideas,” you mumbled. Ochaco placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Don’t stress about it. Let’s just have fun, okay?”
You exited the vehicle and began to make your way inside. Champagne fountains and blasting music greeting you. His house was just as extraordinary as you remembered it. Nothing less than perfect for the No. 1 Hero.
“Uravity! Y/N!”
You turned to see your friend Iida, plus others from your old days at UA.
“You two are looking stunning tonight!” smiled Kirishima.
“Why thank you, it’s all thanks to this one,” you chuckled, giving Ochaco a nudge.
“I honestly didn’t expect to see you here tonight Y/N,” said Shoto. You shrugged.
“Well, I was invited after all. So Mr. Number One Hero can deal with it,” you huffed.
“Sounds like you could use a drink.”
Kaminari handed you a glass of champagne, which you took happily. You clinked glasses with your friends before dousing the beverage down.
“It’s gonna be a long night,” you mumbled to yourself.
You found yourself on the living room couch of Izuku’s large complex. You watched as Pro Heroes danced mindlessly with far too many drinks in their systems. You chuckled. At least they’re having fun.
You hadn’t seen Izuku all night, which was strange considering this was his party. You looked over to the glass staircase, knowing more than well that his bedroom was upstairs. You knew the layout like the back of your hand, after all, you lived here for a year.
You knew all your stuff had to be upstairs. You only had time to pack a small bag the day you left. Surely he wasn’t awful enough to throw your things away. You got up from the couch and quietly made your way up the stairs, hoping no one saw you sneak away from the action of the party.
His bedroom was at the end of the hallway. The doors were closed. You placed your shaky hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. It was unlocked.
You stepped inside. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, causing memories to flood in as well. His room was neat, as if no one had been sleeping in it. You turned to the closet. All your clothing should be on the right side.
“Sneaking around?”
You jumped, removing your hand from the closet handle. You turned around slowly.
“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t burn my shit,” you huffed. Izuku chuckled. He took a few steps towards you, opening the closet.
“Don’t paint me as a villain Y/N. All your things are safe and sound.”
Your side of the closet was just as you left it. Exactly how you left it. You looked back to Izuku.
“Perfect. Then I’ll be taking it with me when I leave-”
“I’m surprised you came at all. I figured you’d want to be as far away from here as possible.”
“I didn’t come for you, I came for Ochaco.”
“Oh right.”
Deku took a step back, placing his hands in his pockets. That devilish smile stared you down, causing your face to burn. You could see the outline of his muscles through his white button down.
“You look incredible by the way. New dress?” he smirked. You rolled your eyes.
“Well since all my clothes were here, yes.”
“Well serves you right for leaving out of nowhere.”
Your eyes widened and you clenched your fists.
“I didn’t leave out of nowhere, I left because you cared more about your job than me!”
“That’s not true-”
“To hell it is! I was tired of being second to everything so I left!”
Izuku took a deep breath and stepped closer to you. He placed his hand under your chin, having you look at him.
“I didn’t want to break up.”
Your breathing got heavier without you even realizing it. You also didn’t realize that Midoriya had you pressed against the closet door.
“I-I didn’t want to either…” you whispered. Izuku smiled.
“Then tell me baby, why did we?”
“B-Because I didn’t know what else to do…”
Izuku brushed his thumb against your cheek, then took a step back.
“Look, I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel under-appreciated...but-”
Izuku moved closer to you again, pinning your arms to your sides and pressing his torso against you all in a swift motion.
“-I can think of a better way to prove it to you.”
You tried to catch your breath. All you wanted was him at this exact moment. Was that a good thing? Of course not. Did you care? Of course not.
“Then prove it to me.”
Izuku wasted little time in moving you onto his California-king. He pinned you down onto the mattress and instantly kissed you. You felt the rush of butterflies swarm your stomach. You hated how much you had missed this.
Deku let go of your wrists and you began to unbutton his shirt. With little patience, he helped you from out of your dress. He dived back down, locking lips with you once more. You dragged your nails down his back, listening as soft groans escaped his lips. He moved down to kiss and suck on your neck.
“Fuck~” was all you were able to get out. Izuku’s hands grazed your burning body, feeling the skin that he had been craving since the day you left. He snaked his hand to your back, unbuckling your bra easily.
“I’ve still got it…” he teased. He threw the bra to the floor and gave you little time to breathe before kissing you again. You ran your fingers through his fluffy hair, pulling him impossibly closer.
“Izuku...please…”
His puppy dog eyes stared back at you.
“What is it?”
You panted heavily, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I need you.”
A smirk creeped onto his face. Izuku kissed your cheek.
“I promised I was gonna prove it to you, wasn’t I?”
Izuku sat up, unbuckling his belt. He slid off his pants and boxers. You caught a glimpse of him, causing your body to feel on fire. Midoriya placed his head in between your legs. He teasingly kissed your inner thighs, keeping his hands glued onto them. The anticipation was practically killing you.
“Izuku-”
“Patience baby...I’m in no rush…”
He moved up to your underwear, biting onto one of the strings and pulling it down. They were practically soaked already. Same with your bra, he tossed them to the floor.
He continued to kiss and nip at your thighs, inching impossibly closer to you. You couldn’t take it anymore.
You grabbed Izuku up and kissed him feverishly.
“So eager baby~”
“Please just fuck me,” you whispered. Izuku chuckled. He licked his lips.
“As you wish.”
Izuku spread your legs apart, dipping one of his fingers inside of you with ease. You arched your back, letting out a moan, and gripping onto his arm tightly.
“That’s it baby~”
Midoriya slipped another finger in, stretching you out even more. You clenched around him as he added more pressure.
He removed his fingers and better adjusted himself above you. He held his cock in his hand before slowly pushing it inside of you.
You didn’t remember him ever feeling this good.
Izuku began to thrust into you, slow at first before building in speed. You could feel yourself clenching around him, sweat forming on your skin. Midoriya groaned with each movement as he pushed even deeper. He kissed you as he fucked you, though you were such a mess you could barely keep up.
He knew exactly how to get you worked up.
“Oh god...I’m c-close,” you mumbled.
“Not yet…”
Midoriya moved his hand down, taking his thumb and rubbing your needy clit. You gripped onto him even harder, digging your nails into his skin as he pushed you over the edge.
“Oh fuck-fuck-”
“Fuck baby, I-I love you-I’m sorry-” he stuttered out.
“I-I love you t-too. Fuck Izuku- I’m gonna cum-”
“Cum with me baby-”
Izuku went even harder as he reached his climax, following you. You let out a pleasure filled scream as you let go. Izuku laid on top of you, catching his breath as your body shook below him.
He looked up at you, brushing his hair back.
“I love you,” he repeated, in case you didn’t believe him the first time. You smiled.
“I love you too.”
~
You had forgotten all about the party that was occurring below you. As you got redressed to head back down to meet Ochaco, you felt Izuku grab your hand.
“What is it?” you asked him. Midoriya took your other hand as he stood before you.
“I really am sorry. I don’t want you to leave again,” he explained. You sighed. You ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek.
“It’s okay, I won’t.”
You walked downstairs with Izuku, his hand interlocked with yours. You watched as Ochaco’s jaw dropped at the sight of you.
“Oh so that’s where you were for the last hour and a half?” she huffed. You chuckled nervously.
“Yeah sorry…”
“Well the limo is here to take us back home, or are you staying here?” she asked. You looked up at Midoriya.
“I’m staying.”
Soon the Midoriya residence was quiet, just you and him remained. You curled up with him on the couch, his arms holding you tightly as he kissed your head.
“You wanna know why I didn’t get rid of any of your things?” he said. You laughed.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you’d be back.”
reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
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cyllaeth · 3 years
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getaway green
find it on ao3
“Yeah, yeah… Love ya too, man.”
Eddie abruptly stops before he enters the changing room. Heʼd recognise that voice everywhere because itʼs Buckʼs. But the words he overheard make him uneasy. Love ya too? To whom Buck might have said it? The most likely answer is to Eddie but he’s right here and he’s definitely not talking with his best friend. It’s not Chim either because Eddie saw him already in the station. So… Who else? Albert? No, that’s just ridiculous. Albert and Buck are friends—not as good as him and Buck, obviously—but why would they talk via phone when they probably saw each other this morning in Buck’s apartament? It doesn’t make sense. So… Who is it then?
Eddie feels like someone just twisted his guts. Has Buck met someone new? No, he would’ve told him about his new relationship, he’s sure of it. His best friend has told him about reconnecting with Taylor and doing the whole “friendship without benefits” thing, for god’s sake. He would at least mention that he met someone worth dating.
It’s not very helpful or reassuring, though. Eddie knows it sounds bad but he doesn’t want Buck to find someone to date. Unless it’s him Buck would be dating. He can’t stand the idea of Buck spending his free time with someone else, kissing someone else, loving someone else.
Eddie’s very much in love with his best friend. He’s tried to get over with him by dating Ana. And it was a fucking disaster because everytime he kissed her, he wished it was Buck instead. So… It’s safe to say he got it bad. And he has to keep it under control because he doesn’t want to blow up the best friendship he’s ever had. Telling Buck he’s in love with him is not even an option.
He tries to suppress his jealousy and finally goes to the changing room. Buck’s already in his work clothes and he’s scrolling through his instagram; there’s a wide smile on his face. When he hears Eddie coming in, he looks at him and his grin gets even bigger.
“You’re almost late, Diaz.” He teases and Eddie can’t help himself but smile too.
“Almost late makes a big difference.” Eddie emphasises, quickly changing his clothes. Buck only rolls his eyes. When they’re both ready, they go upstairs and greet their coworkers. The blonde goes to the coffeemaker and he pours two cups of coffee—one for him and one for Eddie—and he hands it over to his friend. They sit on the couch as usual; their arms and thighs pressed together as if there’s any free space left.
“Uh, I’ve got news.” Buck says and waits until everyone pays attention to him. “TK’s coming to LA this weekend.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Do you mean the TK with whom you stole the fire truck and who you were flirting with?” Chim asks curiously.
Eddie nearly chokes on his coffee.
Was Buck really flirting with that kid from Austin? Sure, he noticed that dumbass and dumbasser hit it off very quickly but it wasn’t something unusual—Buck was so sweet and easygoing, it was almost impossible to not like him.
“I wasn’t flirting with him! I just invited him to LA! And besides, he has a boyfriend. Who is coming with him, by the way.” Buck explains; he’s slightly embarrassed, Eddie can tell, because his cheeks are more pink than usual. Again, why would he feel embarrassed if he wasn’t flirting with TK?
Maybe he was flirting but he just doesn’t want to admit that? Whispers a very annoying voice in Eddie’s mind. He tries to silence it.
“That’s amazing! Is that captain Strand’s son? You should come by the station with them, I want to meet them.”
Bobby’s voice pulls him away from his thoughts.
“Sure, I was actually thinking… Maybe we can have a night out together? As a team?” Buck suggests. “TK says he can’t wait to meet all of you guys.”
“Fantastic idea. I’ll ask him if youʼre bluffing.” Chim quips. Eddie has a strong urge to strangle him.
And then it hits him. Buck was talking with TK earlier, in the changing room. It was definitely TK.
The jealousy is eating him alive. Sure, Strand may have a boyfriend but is it really that big obstacle? Women were flirting with him when he was still married to Shannon; they’ve pretended not to see his wedding ring and ask him out anyway.
Oh, shit. What if he will be the witness of Buck flirting with TK? He’s not sure he can handle that. How will he react? What if he will finally blow up and say something he’s not meant to? He shouldn’t tempt fate and just stay at home instead of going out with the 118 and TK. He decides to gently decline the offer and thinks about a good excuse—he could easily use Christopher as a reason to not go with the team—and Buck would totally understand it.
When he finally opens his mouth to say something, the bell rings. Of course.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
The whole friendship thing between Buck and TK is bothering him so much, he can’t even fully focus on the job. He’s so distracted that Bobby asks him if he’s okay. He shrugs his shoulders and lies that he’s completely fine. What would he say anyway? That he’s in love with his best friend who doesn’t love him back and he’s probably into another, very cute firefighter? No, this is already pathetic as it is. No need to embarrass himself more. When they’re back at the station, he’s almost on the edge. He needs to find out more, even if it causes him more pain.
He quietly follows Buck to the kitchen and when they crash on the couch, he musters up courage to ask him about his relationship with TK.
“I didn’t know you and TK were such close friends.” He says, trying to sound playful, teasing.
Buck sighs heavily.
“Oh, come on, man, you too?” He groans and shoots Eddie kind of an annoyed look. “Yes, we’re close and it’s nice to have a friend outside of the 118. And we’re just friends. No flirting, no hook ups. Besides, I’ve mentioned he has a boyfriend who will be there with us.”
Eddie believes him; he hears honesty in his voice and it makes him a little bit calmer. He feels like he can finally breathe again and—
“I wouldn’t flirt with him anyway even if he was single because I think I might be in love with someone else.”
Eddie swears he can hear his heart shattering on a million pieces. He wasnʼt prepared to hear this, he wasnʼt expected to have a breakdown in the middle of a shift. Buckʼs in love and he didnʼt know about this. How? Who is it?
“What?” Is the only thing he manages to whisper.
“I’m in love with someone.” Buck repeats. It’s very quiet, unsure, almost fragile. Like he’s afraid of Eddie’s reaction, afraid of being open and vulnerable. Afraid of being in love.
It breaks Eddie’s heart even more because the only thing that’s worse than his broken heart, it’s Evan Buckley’s broken heart.
“Oh. Are you... Does this person know about it?” He asks gently, moving a little closer to his best friend. He feels like heʼs been hit by a truck but right now he wants to at least reassure Buck itʼs okay, make him feel better. Thatʼs what friends do anyway. He can have a full breakdown in his own house when heʼll be alone. He starts to pat his back lightly and after a while, he can feel Buck relaxes a bit.
“No...  It’s… Complicated. It’s probably best if I don’t say anything. At least nothing will be destroyed. I canʼt destroy it.” He hears Buck’s muttering. He understands him perfectly; sometimes not telling the truth is just the best option.
Eddie still feels jealousy, he envies the nameless person who Buck loves. He’s trying to shove down his feelings and only focus on his friend to cheer him up.
“You wanna come home with me after the shift? We could make pizza together and watch some movies with Chris.” He proposes. He realizes he said coming home—like it was their home. Not only his and Chris’ but Buck’s too. And it is his home; Buck belongs to the Diaz family anyway.
His invitation instantly lightens up Buck’s mood because he finally looks at him and there’s a small smile dancing on his lips.
“Deal. But only if you stay away from the kitchen, we don’t wanna call 911 to the firefighter’s house. You can wash the dishes.”
“Fine. Whatever you wish.”
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
The rest of the week passes fairly peacefully. They don’t talk again about Buck’s feelings and Eddie successfully pretends he’s not jealous. They joke and bicker as always so it’s fine, it seems like everythingʼs perfect.
It’s Friday—and it means TK and Carlos are coming. Buck has a day off and he’s picking them up from the airport and giving them a quick LA tour. Eddie’s working and so are Hen, Chim and Bobby. It’s a busy shift so they’re definitely not bored; Buck keeps them entertained between the calls—he’s blowing up Eddie’s phone with texts and photos.
Eddieʼs happy that his friend is enjoying his day off, he really is. Of all people in the world, Buckʼs the one who deserves it the most. He wishes heʼd be there with him.
» from Buck: dude, we totally need to take Chris to this museum of space, heʼll be thrilled«
Eddie opens another photo from his friend—this time itʼs Buckʼs selfie whoʼs standing in front of the museum and smiling. It melts Eddieʼs heart because Buck always thinks about Christopher, always includes him in his plans. Despite what Hen says, heʼs aware that theyʼre basically co-parenting Chris; he canʼt pinpoint the exact moment when Buck has become a second dad, it just... Happened.
» to Buck: iʼm in. so museum and sleepover at my house next saturday? i think i need to get my revenge after last time«
Buckʼs response is immediate.
»from Buck: you can keep dreaming, Diaz«
Eddie stifles a laugh when he reads the message. At least, heʼs the one Buck chooses to share even small things with. And at this moment, everything is alright.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
They finally meet at the 118ʼs favourite pub. Eddie went home after the shift to drop Chris at Abuela and change into something nicer. He tried once to say heʼs not going out with them but he quickly changed his mind when he saw the disappointment in Buckʼs eyes. Heʼs quite nervous, though. Despite what his friend said about flirting with TK, the doubt, the uncertainty is still there. He hopes he wonʼt do something stupid. Heʼs the last one to arrive and Buck spots him the second he crosses the threshold. When he reaches the booth theyʼre sitting at, Buck almost jumps out to pull him into a hug.
“Thanks for coming.” He whispers into his ear and Eddie shivers involuntarily.
Then, heʼs crushed by another hug—this time itʼs TK which is a little surprising but Eddie returns the hug. Carlos sticks to the traditional handshake.
“Nice to finally meet the famous Eddie Diaz.” He says fondly. “Weʼve heard about you quite a lot.”
Itʼs quite dark here but Eddie notices Buck blushing anyway. Itʼs cute, he thinks.
“I hope Buck hasnʼt told any embarrassing stories.” He quips.
“Your embarrassing stories are safe with me.” Buck says very seriously, placing his hand on his chest.
“Trusting Buckley with your secrets? Youʼre either brave or stupid. Or both.” Chim laughs, sipping his drink.
“Iʼm telling Maddie. She will kick you off the couch for at least a few nights.” Buck warns him. It piques Carlosʼ interest because he asks a question, looking at the other man.
“Wait, so Chimʼs with your sister? Wow, you guys are really close.”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
The conversations go as smoothly as the drinks they keep ordering. Eddie feels buzzed and content. Heʼs talking with Carlos about their childhood in Texas. He discovers that they have much in common; itʼs a very pleasant surprise and he feels like they will be very good friends. Bobby already called the night off, saying he needs to go back to his wife—because you canʼt say no to Athena —but Hen and Chim are still there and theyʼre singing karaoke alongside Buck and TK.
Eddie keeps an eye on these two; there was a reason why Judd called them dumbass and dumbasser. Buckʼs also slightly more drunk than him so someone really should check out what heʼs doing. And that is Eddieʼs responsibility. There is definitely no hidden meaning, no other reason to glance from time to time (fine, very often) at the scene.
Itʼs their turn to sing—itʼs Ed Sheeranʼs Give Me Love —and Eddieʼs confident it was Buckʼs choice. He notices how synchronised they are, how they keep sharing casual touches, how they laugh at each other, how they look at each other during the song—
And the jealousy almost throttles him. Because this is something Buck had only with him. Heʼs never been so touchy with Chim or Albert; sure, they have hugged many times but itʼs different with Eddie. Their closeness, lack of personal space was there from the first Eddieʼs day at 118 even when theyʼve been showing off to each other. Itʼs never felt awkward or inappropriate. It was easy, natural, kind of like breathing—something that people do without even thinking about it because itʼs just part of life. Because it was Buck.
Heʼs spiraling. He needs to go outside, somewhere where he wonʼt see Buck and TK together. It doesnʼt even help him that TKʼs boyfriend is right there next to him and he doesnʼt feel annoyed, threatened. He watches them with amusement in his eyes.
“I... I need to go to the bathroom.” Eddie says quietly and he rushes out of the booth before Carlos can say something. In the middle of the road to the bathroom, he changes his mind and goes out of the pub. He needs to take a deep breath, calm down and donʼt let jealousy take over him. Itʼs not like Buckʼs his boyfriend; heʼs allowed to be close with anyone he wants to. He knows that this possessive feelings and fear of being replaced, hurt is probably irrational but it still gets to his head very easily.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
He goes back inside after a while. He orders a beer and sits in the empty booth because apparently Carlos decided to join the rest on the stage. Eddieʼs grateful for that because he doesnʼt have to explain himself, he just can sip his beer in peace.
He doesnʼt notice TK coming to the booth, heʼs too lost in thoughts.
“What are you doing here all alone? Playing a dark, brooding hero?” He hears a very amused voice when TK sits across from him.
Eddie glares at him.
“Iʼm not brooding.” He scoffs. Heʼs definitely not brooding, heʼs just... Thinking. Trying to behave as usual. It would be rude of him to just go home without saying goodbye, right? And Buck would definitely call him to check if everythingʼs alright. Itʼs better to wait a little even if heʼs sitting alone.
“If you say so.” TK shrugs but then, he continues. “You know, thereʼs no need to look at me like you want to rip my head off.”
Eddie opens mouth to say something, to deny it because heʼs sure he didnʼt look at Strand like that but TK doesnʼt let him.
“Dude, donʼt. If looks could kill, I would be already dead when we met in Texas. Well, maybe it wasnʼt that intense back then but tonight you look like you want to strangle me. Thereʼs no reason. I like Buck but heʼs my friend. Just a friend.”
Eddie looks at him like a deer caught in the spotlight. Is he really that easy to read? He feels the blush creeping up in his cheeks; heʼs a little embarrassed because he really didnʼt expect TK to be so perceptive.
“I... How did you know?” He asks, his voice filled with uncertainty. He doesnʼt try to deny it anymore, TK wouldnʼt buy this bullshit anyway.
“Besides that I-wanna-kill-you look? ” TK laughs and then, he takes the water left on the table. “You look at him like the sun shines out of his ass. You were so focused on him that you barely noticed everyone else tonight. If I asked Hen or Chim about it, Iʼm sure they would say this is your normal behaviour. And you kept touching him like...” He trails off for a while, biting his lip. “You know... When I saw you and Buck for the first time, I was sure you two were together.”
Eddieʼs speechless; he’s mindlessly tapping his leg, looking at TK but not really seeing him. He’s silent for a few moments, but TK’s patient, he doesn’t rush him to talk.
“It’s… Complicated.” Eddie sighs heavily. He hasn’t told anyone about it but he doesn’t know if he can keep all of these emotions bottled up any longer. Maybe the fact he’s not entirely sober helps. And the fact it’s TK he’s talking to. “We’re friends. Best friends even. I… You know, he’s been there for me and he’s got my back since the day I arrived at the station. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had and I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him. I don’t know how and when it happened but it just… Did? The thing is… I was panicking at first, I even tried to get over him by dating Ana. She’s—she was Christopher’s teacher. She was nice and sweet but I’ve kept thinking about Buck even when I was on a date with her. Even when I was kissing her, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’s embarrassing, I know.”
He’s thankful that TK’s not interrupting him, that he actually pays attention to him. He notices the resemblance between him and Buck. Both of them have a personality of a golden retriever and they tend to do sometimes very stupid and reckless things. But after all, they’re so easygoing and sweet, it’s very easy to love them. Eventually, he goes on with his confession. “You know, I was jealous when I saw you two because you’re awfully… Handsy. You can understand each other without even talking. I know you have Carlos and that you two are serious but… I can’t help it, it’s stronger than me. And I can’t tell him I’m in love, I can’t destroy our relationship. I can’t do it because Chris would lose him too and he’s already lost one parent. Besides, Buck’s in love with someone anyway.”
He ends his monologue and hides his face in his hands. He definitely feels better after saying it out loud but it’s still a little bit awkward.
“And here I’ve thought Judd calls you Hollywood because of the looks but now I’m sure it’s because of how dumb you are.” TK says boldly.
Eddie raises his head to gaze upon his friend. There’s a very amused grin on his face and he looks like he’s refraining himself from laughing out loud.
“You really have no clue, don’t you?” TK asks. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh at you but it’s so funny how oblivious and blind two people can be.”
Eddie scowls.
“Are you gonna keep mocking me or you’re gonna tell me what you mean?”
“Fine.” TK chuckles. “Have you ever considered that Buck might be in love with you? I know that he told you, not directly, but he told you about it. I guess you didn’t figure it out.”
“He didn’t—” Eddie protests without hesitation but he stops when recalls their conversation after Buck told the team about TK and Carlos coming to LA. He mentioned being in love with someone and not wanting to tell the person about his feelings but Eddie didn’t even think that he could be talking about him. “You sure… He was talking about me?”
He looks at TK with hope; he desperately wants it to be true.
“I’m sure.” The younger man reassures. “He’s in love with you as much as you are. Oh, speaking of the devil.” He mutters, seeing Buck going in their direction.
Eddie rapidly turns his head only to see his best friend settling down next to him. His face is slightly flushed, hair disheveled and there’s a wide smile on his lips.
“Dude, I know you’re into Texans but I think one of them is enough, don’t you think?” He asks TK playfully.
“Don’t worry, Eddie’s all yours.” TK replies, smiling mischievously and he winks at Eddie. “I’m sure Eddie’s more into cute, blue-eyed blondes anyway.”
And then, he flees out of the booth, leaving them both alone. Buck raises one eyebrow, looking suspiciously at his best friend.
“Blue-eyed blondes, huh?” He asks very intelligently. Eddie’s sure his cheeks and neck are red by now and it’s very noticeable.
“Y-Yeah. He’s right.”
“Interesting. Neither Shannon nor Ana were blondes.” Buck points out, his voice very teasing.
“But you are.”
It makes Buck blushing furiously and Eddie thinks it’s the cutest thing he saw this evening. Suddenly, he notices how close they are, how their bodies are pressed together, how blue Buck’s eyes are and how soft his lips are.
“So… You’re into blondes now?” Buck whispers, not tearing his gaze away from him, even for a second.
“Been into for a while now.”
“It’d make everything easier if I knew about this, I’d definitely do this sooner.”
Buck makes the first move and he closes the space between them. He gently brushes his lips like he doesn’t want to overwhelm him. But Eddie doesn’t want to back off. He’s the one who deepens the kiss, he’s the one who slides his tongue into his mouth, causing him to quietly moan.
“Do you think we could sneak off and go to my house maybe?” Eddie asks when they break apart, panting heavily.
“Dude, TK and Carlos are staying at my apartment, I can’t just sneak off.” Buck laughs. “I need to at least give them the keys if I’m not supposed to go back to my place tonight.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Just give them the keys and we can go.” Eddie pouts and he sounds so needy, it makes Buck giggle.
At some point, they get up and approach their friends who’re standing by the bar and ordering new drinks.
“Look who decided to join us!” Hen chuckles and she wants to say something else but she’s cut off by the Chim’s laughing loudly.
“I’m not sure if they are joining or leaving us.” TK smirks and Carlos nudges him softly to not to meddle.
“Actually, we were thinking about leaving if you don’t mind. I can give you the keys to my apartment.” Buck offers sheepishly.
“Just give us the keys, we’ll manage. You can go with your Texan.” TK says but then he adds, pointing a finger in Eddie’s direction. “But I need to meet Christopher before I go back to Austin.”
“I think we can arrange something. Tomorrow afternoon maybe?” Eddie suggests.
“Then we’re all set. Now, stop talking and get a room already!”
When Buck finally gives TK his keys, they say their goodbyes and order an Uber to Eddie’s house.
The ride is quick but quiet. They don’t really talk but the silence between them is not uncomfortable—it’s the opposite of it. They have to talk about their feelings eventually but they know they’ll have the time to do it. They enter the house and the second Buck closes the door, he’s slammed against the nearest wall. Suddenly, they’re kissing again; Eddie pushes his hips forward and it causes Buck to spread out his legs a little bit.
Eddie’s so glad Chris is at Abuela’s house because it means they have the whole night only for themselves—and they can do whatever they want to.
“Bed.” Buck growls when Eddie bites his lip and starts to unbuckle his belt.
“Someone’s impatient.” The older man teases.
“Said the guy who dragged me out of the meeting with our friends to have sex with me.” The blonde replies wryly.
“Just shut up, Buck.”
“Make me.”
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
Eddie slowly wakes up when the sun peeks through the curtains and shines on his face. His head hurts a little—well, heʼs not in his twenties anymore and he wasnʼt counting his beers last night—and he feels the weight on his chest. He needs a second to register that itʼs Buck; he sleeps very peacefully, completely nestled to Eddie. His headʼs on the place where Eddieʼs heart is, one arm around his waist; thereʼs a gingerish stubble on his cheeks and his blonde curls are perfectly messy. Itʼs a wonderful sight—and he wants to wake up like this every morning... Maybe minus a hangover.
He doesnʼt even notice how long heʼs staring at Buck like that but he doesnʼt really care. Eventually, Buck wakes up too and he raises his head a little. He seems a little confused but the expression disappears when he notices heʼs on top of Eddie and the manʼs grinning.
“Hello, sunshine.” Eddie says and he shifts a little to be able to pull his friend closer to properly kiss him. Itʼs kinda gross because they smell like yesterdayʼs beers and they havenʼt brushed their teeth but neither of them care.
“I assume you do remember last night... No regrets?” Buck asks. His tone is cheery, playful as always but Eddie can see the uncertainty in his eyes.
“Only one. That I was a coward for so long because we could have had it all much sooner.” He answers very seriously, looking directly into Buckʼs eyes. He wants him to believe in every word he says. “I know we hadnʼt exactly talked last night... But I donʼt want this to be a one night stand. Not with you. I want... More. Everything. I mean weʼve already been a couple for quite some time. You practically live in my house, youʼre Chrisʼ second dad and youʼve been my rock since the day weʼve met. We just... Havenʼt done the sexy part of the relationship.”
“Until last night.” Buck points out.
“Yeah... Point taken. So if you want to take it slow, we can take it slow. We can date like people usually do or you can already move in and take my closet, my bed and everything because youʼve already taken my heart.”
“If you think that your offer to move in is getting you out of asking me on a date then you’re terribly wrong, Diaz.” Buck teases and winks at his friend. “You need to romance me a little.”
“God, youʼre such a dork.” Eddie says fondly. He feels so damn happy and content because he can really have everything he wanted.
“You love it.”
“I do. Now, get your ass up. We need to pick up Chris from Abuela at some point. We have dinner with TK and Carlos later.” Eddie sighs because heʼd rather stay all day in bed with Buck—and maybe tell him some of the fantasies he had in his head—but the reality calls anyway.
“Are you sure you want me to pick up Chris with you? I mean, we donʼt have to do it together, I can go to my apartment and—”
“Buck. Iʼm sure. Itʼs not like we havenʼt done this before. I want to tell him about us too. I donʼt want to lie to him because I did it when I dated Ana and it didnʼt end well. Besides, heʼll be thrilled to see us together. Hell, he wants us together. He literally told me last week that I need to buy glasses if I canʼt see that you love me too.”
Buck looks at him with amusement and he laughs heartily.
“Heʼs a smart kid. And he definitely didnʼt get it from his father.”
Eddie scoffs.
“Youʼre really lucky that I love you that much because otherwise you wouldnʼt get away with saying stuff like this.”
Buckʼs smile is almost blinding.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
They get up, eventually. They go to the shower together to “save the time and water” but it turns into another long making out session. They eat breakfast (made by Buck) and they finally go to Abuela to get Christopher.
“Edmundo, youʼre late.” They hear in the second Abuela opens the door. Sheʼs a little surprised to see not only his grandson but also his best friend.
She notices the big ass hickey on Buckʼs collarbone thatʼs exposed because heʼs wearing Eddieʼs Henley and raises her eyebrow.
“Now I understand why youʼre late.” She smirks which causes them to blush. “Anyway, itʼs nice to see you again, Evanito. I hope I get to see you more often.” She adds and then embraces both of them in a hug.
“You will, Abuela, I promise.” Eddie says honestly. He wants to add something but he hears an excited voice from the hallway.
“Dad!” Christopher shouts as he goes to the door to greet Eddie. “Bucky?” He asks when he notices the other man standing next to his dad.
“Hey, Superman!” Buck says, kneeling down to hug the kid.
“I didnʼt know youʼll be there. Are you coming home with us?”
“Yeah, buddy, Iʼm coming with you.”
Christopherʼs smile only gets bigger.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
“Chris? What would you say if Buck were living with us?” Eddie asks when theyʼre at home. Buckʼs making Abuelaʼs famous enchiladas with Christopher (none of the Diaz siblings have gotten the recipe despite asking for it a countless times; Buck asked once and Abuela happily gave it to him) and Eddieʼs only an observer. He loves watching those two interacting, spending time together. He loves how easily Buck has stepped into a co-parent role, how fast and hard he has fallen in love with Chris, how good he is with kids in general. Heʼs amazed by it almost every time he sees them together. He wouldnʼt have found someone better to be with.
“Buckyʼs moving with us? Iʼve thought it wouldnʼt happen!” Chris replies. The corners of his lips are curling into a smile but before it breaks into a full grin, he asks. “But does that mean you are dating and we wonʼt see miss Flores or someone else anymore?”
Buck looks at Eddie with a mischievous smile and mouths told you, heʼs a smart kid.
“Yeah, kiddo, no more miss Flores or any other women. Itʼs gonna be only the three of us.”
It seems to be a very satisfying answer for Christopher—he just nods and goes back to adding all ingredients to the enchilada sauce.
When everything’s almost ready, Christopher goes to his room to change his shirt because he spilled the sauce on it and they are left alone. Eddie doesnʼt waste any time and comes closer to be able to kiss Buck. He thinks it may be a problem to keep his hands off his best friend but they will figure it out too. Eventually.
“I think I can get used to this.” Buck says when they stop to take a breath.
“To what? Cooking with Chris?” Eddie teases.
Buck only huffs but then he smiles anyway because cooking with Christopher is definitely on top of his favourite things to do. “Yep, definitely. He is my favourite Diaz after all.”
“Then Iʼm in second place I guess?”
“You wish. Thereʼs also Abuela and Tia Pepa... Maybe even your sisters.” Buck grins. “You have very strong competition.”
“I think I may have some tricks up my sleeve to change your mind then.” Eddie states and heʼs ready to show them to Buck but the doorbell rings. He sighs heavily. “Guess you just have to wait to see them then.”
“Canʼt wait.”
“Hi Buck. Fancy seeing you here.” TK says with a very wide smile on his lips. “Iʼm guessing last night went well then.”
“Well... Yeah? Thanks to someone who was meddling just a little bit.”
Carlos rolls his eyes but he doesnʼt look even slightly irritated.
“Please, donʼt boost his already big ego, he was talking last night about changing his career to be a matchmaker.”
“Matchmaker?” Buck raises his brow. “Sounds interesting.”
“Carlos, we should really keep our boyfriends apart, itʼs dangerous to let them use their brain cells together. If they even have them.” They hear Eddieʼs amused voice and he appears right behind Buck. The blonde blushes at the word boyfriends. “But come on in, weʼre all ready.”
“We brought a six pack and a gift for Christopher.” Carlos adds, lifting up the beers.
“Oh, Chris will be thrilled. Heʼs already so excited to meet you two.”
“Weʼre excited to meet him too, Buck has told us so many things about Christopher, I feel like I already know him.” TK explains when they go inside.
“Bucky was talking about me?” Christopher peeks in the kitchen shyly. He sounds quite surprised.
“Yes, he did. And itʼs very nice to finally meet you. Buck couldnʼt stop talking about you. He didnʼt even talk so much about your dad I think.”
“Because my dad is very boring sometimes and heʼs all grumpy.” Christopher shrugs, looking apologetically at his dad. “Sorry dad but thatʼs the truth.”
“When did you become so sassy, huh? But I guess youʼre right. But... This is TK and this is Carlos.” Eddie introduces his friend to his son.
“And we know youʼre very interested in space so we got you a little gift.” Carlos adds, handing Chris over a package.
“Thank you.” Christopher says simply and puts it on the floor to unpack. “Whatʼs this?” He asks curiously.
“Oh, let me help you unpack it but maybe not here? We don't want to make a mess now.” Carlos proposes and Chris immediately agrees.
They go to the living room together and Buck sees with how much fondness TK looks at them.
“Carlos seems pretty good with kids.”
“He is. Heʼs fantastic. Maybe one day weʼll think about it.” TK replies thoughtfully.
“Oh, really? You two would be amazing dads.” Eddie says honestly, putting up the plates on the table. TK looks a little stunned.
“Never really thought about it too much earlier. But, anyway, howʼs my favourite couple? Because you two are a couple now, right?” TK eyes both of them carefully.
“Buckʼs moving in. Donʼt know when yet but Iʼm planning to make it as soon as we can.” Eddie announces proudly.
“Wow you really donʼt waste your time. So should we expect an invitation for the wedding next year?” TK laughs.
“... Maybe?” They both reply in sync.
“Well, weʼre doing it backwards. We started by raising Christopher together instead of just simply dating each other. So maybe we should marry each other soon. Iʼd marry him even now.” Buck states and winks at his boyfriend.
“Something tells me that the 118 would be mad at us for weeks. If they wouldnʼt kill us first for not inviting them to the wedding.” Eddie points out.
“I hate that youʼre right. They would totally kill us. But dinnerʼs ready and boys are probably starving so letʼs feed them first.”
The dinner is excellent, the conversation goes smoothly and Chris talks about his gift—an International Space Station Lego set—with so much excitement, they donʼt even dare to interrupt him. Buck and TK even offer to help him build it later. They eat a dessert and then, Eddie and Carlos settle on the couch, beers in hands and Buck and TK sit on the floor alongside Christopher and they discuss how to build the space station. Eddie canʼt tear away his gaze from Buck who looks so happy and excited to play with his—their —son and agrees to everything Christopher says.
“You two really fit together.” Carlos says quietly because he doesnʼt want to distract boys from work. “And Iʼm glad you were able to finally talk about your feelings. I must admit, I was pretty invested in your story when TK was talking about it. I really hoped you two would figure it out somehow.”
“Can you believe I was really jealous yesterday? I was sure Buck and TK were flirting and.. God, I was so mad at you for a second why you donʼt even react, why are you so cool about it. And... Yeah, I was stupid because I was sure he was into TK.” Eddie sighs because heʼs still embarrassed about it, he still canʼt believe he was so anxious that Buck might be in love with someone else.
“Oh, you probably havenʼt seen the way he looks at you. Itʼs really something. And TK was really invested in—and I quote—bringing these two lovesick idiots together. They were never flirting. Not seriously at least.”
“Yeah, I know... I... I really hope heʼll be happy with me. But Iʼve heard your relationship is getting more serious.”
“Yeah, well... We live together now so itʼs a pretty big step for both of us. We havenʼt killed each other so Iʼm taking it as a good sign. I donʼt know whatʼs next. Maybe a wedding but I need to be sure TK will say yes and wonʼt freak out about it.” Carlos sighs, knowing that TK may be still cautious about the whole wedding thing but he definitely wants to try it anyway.
“He mentioned earlier something about you two having a kid so I think heʼs taking it very seriously too.” Eddie reassures him.
They both look at his boyfriends who are completely focused on building a space station with Christopher and itʼs very heart-warming sight. “I donʼt think he would say something like that if he didnʼt mean it. Besides, heʼs a lot like Buck and I bet he loves kids as much as him. And I need to add that Christopher is not really a kid who trusts easily but he clearly has so much fun with TK. I wouldnʼt worry too much if I were you. You two really fit together too.”
“Yeah, we do. TK was annoyingly stubborn at first and he didnʼt want to admit that itʼs more than just a hookup. Now weʼre living together.” Carlos laughs, looking softly at TK who sticked out the tip of his tongue and visibly tries to concentrate. “I must say, this is a really nice trip. Glad I could meet TKʼs friends and just... Let myself relax a little bit. Something tells me ifʼs not our last visit in LA, though.”
“I bet.” Eddie hums in agreement. “You can visit LA as many times as you want to. We will probably visit you in Texas too. I have to properly introduce Buck to my family one day so we can definitely do a quick trip to Austin then.”
“Weʼll be happy to see you. Captain S—Owen—will be thrilled to see you. He was disappointed he couldnʼt go with us, he wanted to see Hen again and meet your captain.”
“Yeah, he was whining all the time since we told him weʼre going to LA.” TK adds suddenly. Heʼs still focused on building the space station but Carlos and Eddie stopped talking quietly and now he hears what theyʼre saying. “Mateo was disappointed too, he wanted to visit his cousin. Marvin? Or something like that.”
“We can organise something bigger so everyone can be there.” Buck agrees. “Eds, we should definitely tell Bobby about it. I donʼt care if itʼs here or in Austin, I can definitely organise it.”
“I have no doubts.” Eddie says fondly and then looks at their guests. “You shouldʼve seen him when he organised a Christmas party for us all with help from Athena. We were all working and our kids were so disappointed by it but Buck basically rescued everything. That was really amazing.”
“Really? You didnʼt even mention that!” TK scoffs. “But nice to know, maybe Iʼll hire you to organise my wedding with Carlos since youʼre so good at this stuff.”
“Oh, I donʼt know. Maybe Iʼd work with Carlos because heʼs so sweet and nice but you? I bet youʼll be a bridezilla.”
TK only throws at Buck a piece of Lego in response, followed by the laugh of both Eddie and Carlos.
━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━
Itʼs almost 10pm when TK and Carlos decide to go back to Buckʼs apartment. Christopher already fell asleep but he managed to build the space station with Buck and TK and he was really proud of it, just like both of his helpers.
“Dude, your kid is really amazing. I mean, I donʼt remember the last time when I had so much fun—sorry, babe—and Iʼm really gonna miss him.” TK admits and thereʼs so much honesty in his voice, nobody even questions it.
“Heʼs gonna miss you too, if it helps.” Eddie tells him, grinning softly. “Both of you. But youʼre gonna see him soon. At least I think so.”
“I take your word for it.” TK warns him.
“Well, you can always face time with us.”
TKʼs face instantly lights up and he hugs Eddie.
“I will miss you too, Hollywood.”
Eddie only rolls his eyes.
“Hey, you two big saps, you will see each other tomorrow because weʼre gonna drive you to the airport before our shift.” Buck announces.
“Fineeee.” TK sighs dramatically. “But I think our Uberʼs here so weʼre gonna leave you alone. It was really nice to spend more time with you.”
“Likewise.”
They say their goodbyes eventually and when TK and Carlos are already in the car, Buck takes Eddieʼs hand and smiles widely.
“It was really an eventful 24 hours.” He says.
“It was. Now we only have to prepare ourselves for tomorrowʼs shift. I bet Hen and Chim will be insufferable.”
Buck groans.
“Ugh, they will be. Maybe we should be insufferable too?”
“Buckley, do you have something particular in mind?” Eddie asks, watching his boyfriend carefully. Maybe other people wouldnʼt notice it but heʼs Eddie and he knows Buck too well. He notices that mischievous look in his eyes and heʼs sure Buckʼs up to something.
“I have a few ideas, Diaz.”
“Care to share them with me?”
“Always.”
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the Wifilcon and the Winter Router
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/Reader Summary: When Bucky learns that his neighbor has been stealing his wifi for months. Warnings: None A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this, like all my stories, are adaptations to fanfics. My original stories are not written in english, so this is also a translation. please do not repost my work
For an instant, Bucky thought that the knocking he was hearing was coming directly from his head, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time his mind played tricks on him, but he realized that the sound was actually coming, unluckily for him, from his apartment door. Oh no no no no no no no, I just got back from putting up with Sam for almost 6 full weeks, I don't need interaction with more people for now.
Bucky thought for a minute to ignore the sound, to wait for the person to give up and leave, anyway he didn't spend many days on this apartment, almost no one had seen him leave or enter the building and he had no contact with the neighbors, only with the lady on the 7th floor who once lost one of her cats, which ended up in Bucky's apartment, accidentally. Not that I found the cat in the alley and actually brought him to my apartment, it doesn't mean that I stole the cat, he was in the street by himself, I rescued him.
When the banging on the door stopped and Bucky thought he could breathe calmly again, a voice between altered and annoyed was heard all the way to the living room where he was sitting trying to overcome his third panic attack and fourth existential crisis of the day .
-"I know you're in there! I saw you coming in a few hours ago! I've been waiting for days for you to come back!"-
More out of instinct than anything else, Bucky pulled out the knife hidden in his right boot as he slowly backed away from the door. Do I really have a spy as a neighbor? Should I call Sam? Is he in danger too? Never mind now, you need an escape route Bucky, concentrate, third floor, window to the alley, 2 minutes max, the bike is parked far away, I'll have to run, but to where, rendezvous point, safe place, think....
- "for God's sake, open the door, I need you to pay for your fucking internet plan, I'm in the last season of my series and I need to know if Carolina died or not!"-
- "The internet?"- Between the andrenaline from escaping and the shock of not understanding what was happening Bucky spoke louder than an assassin, with over 60 years of experience, should have spoken. Oh, shoot.
-"Yes! Your wifi, I need it to finish watching my series"-
Whispering "wifi" to himself, Bucky tries to remember where he has heard that word before, this is what I get for never listening to Sam when he talks to me. But before he can continue his mental analysis of all the conversations with Sam about such stupid things as his favorite American Football team, the New Orleans Saints, that I remember, to how Antonio could possibly leave María on the last episode of the 6 o'clock telenovela of which Sam is a fan, his apparent "neighbor" spoke up again:
-"Jesus Christ, can you open the door? So we can resolve this like adults"-
Bucky resigned to the fact that he has given his position to the "enemy", walks to the door and opens it waiting for his death. Well at least if I die I won't have to listen to Sam again talking about Antonio and María. But on the other side of the door, there was a woman, who in her pajamas, very unthreatening but cute, was watching him as if he were a ghost but still with defiance in her eyes, in one breath she introduced herself and continued her speech about her complaint to Bucky:
-"As I was saying, I need you to pay for your internet"-
-"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean"- mumbled Bucky.
- "Good Lord"- To Bucky's surprise his neighbor, pushes him and enters his home, well not so much a home home, more like the headquarters of his secret club, of which he is the president, vice president and only member, the point is that it is his place, where he can (and wants to be alone), as she lives here. This must be a dream, maybe I hit my head too hard in the last mission and I am unconscious in the hospital.
Crossing the room, Bucky's unwanted visitor looks around searching for something while whispering the words "I see you are quite minimalist, but maybe this is too much, someone urgently needs to look for some inspiration on Pinterest". She stops abruptly in front of the shelf where, in theory, a TV should go, while shouting: "EUREKA", she bends down and picks up a white device which has two antennas and like a million little blinking lights, damn, that looks like something out of a spaceship, I'm being watched by aliens? I'm being spied on by Kree?
-"This is your router, this is where the internet signal comes from, which I need you to pay for so I can finish watching my series"-.
Bucky, still in shock for the third time in less than 15 minutes, as he processes the idea that perhaps Thanos' unknowing twin is spying on him for a second invasion of earth and revenge for his brother's death. He can only nod to his now more relaxed and happy neighbor.
-"Perfect, thanks! I need to check the food I left in the oven, I'll talk to you later"- and as quickly as she came she left through the same door, leaving Bucky with more doubts than answers, peeking down the hallway, he realizes that she is the neighbor who lives next door, to his right. When Bucky comes out of his initial stupor, still not fully understanding what is going on, he decides to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call his own personal Google to solve his doubts about this century: Sam Wilson.
-"Hey Buck! What's up?"-how does he always manage to sound so happy? focus Buck.
-"What the hell is a router and why do I have one in my house?"- somehow Bucky manages to formulate, although maybe his voice cracked a little on the last words.
-"That thing's been there for at least two months and you didn't even notice it? Have you even paid the bill?"-
-"You put this in here? Without telling me????"- maybe Sam is also a Kree? Who can I trust now? It's all a trap?
Listening to Bucky's accelerated breathing, Sam tries to explain to him slowly, that in this century life without internet is not life, but obviously as Bucky does not even know how to set the alarm on his own cell phone, he was in charge of buying the router and creating the contract with the company so that, the 106 year old man could have his personal network at home. He had given it the name but he had not given it a password so that Bucky himself could set it up later. "I am an excellent friend, I mean co-worker, if I may say so"
-"Sorry man, after all that happened, we got called for a mission and I forgot to tell you, do you have your laptop over there? I'll help you set up a password, so your neighbors won't steal your internet anymore"- and with that comment everything started to make sense in Bucky's slightly screwed up but functional mind about the events with his seemingly non-spy and harmless neighbor.
Meanwhile Bucky was trying to remember his own password to unlock the laptop in front of him, also courtesy of Sam. "Bucky, when you learn about online banking and that you can pay your rent, electricity, phone and everything with a click of your computer, you will thank me". It should be noted that Bucky hasn't used that laptop once, like a good 100 year old grandpa he goes to the bank to make his deposits and pay his debts, which obviously consisted only of electricity, water, gas and phone because the man had no idea that there was a device in his house that spit out internet, apparently only his next door neighbor knew this. Buck tells Sam how he thought his router was an alien device and how he thought his neighbor was a KGB agent coming to kill him. "Relax Buck we all have undesirable neighbors that steal our internet signal sometimes", well undesirable is not the word I would use to describe her but ok.
When Sam finally explains to him how to connect his computer to the internet, Bucky can finally see the name that his wonderful co-worker, not friend, because he could never be friends with someone so stupid as to think that the name "THE WIFILCON AND THE WINTER ROUTER" was a good name.
- "my god Sam, you're such an asshole!"-
-"HEY! That's a great name!"- Sam responds with as much indignation as possible, he's the best at naming everything from dogs to wifis.
- "I can't believe you're Captain America, I can't believe we're even friends"- Bucky really can't understand his luck to have friends, well, co-workers whatever.
- "Well excuse me but we're co-workers..."-
- "Well, take this call as my formal resignation, bye"-
-"Wait a minute Buck..."- Bucky ended the call, to finish -his self-imposed- punishment of listening to Sam Wilson talk for over an hour. At least I asked him how to use the bank's website to pay for the internet. Suddenly, without warning and without explanation, the memory of his neighbor is lodged in his head, her hair in a ponytail, her reading glasses, pink shorts, her sweater from some university of which he can't even remember the name because he was watching out for other things... that she wouldn't kill me obviously, he was watching out that she wouldn't pull a knife out of her back and kill me right there. The message on his laptop indicating that he can now set a new name and password to his wifi distracts him enough to stop thinking about his sweet and cute non-spy neighbor and how she would look with her hair down and her glasses off.
Still with the sweet feeling in his chest and the desire to see her again he writes as the new name of the wifi, while laughing:
"If you want free internet, you owe me at least one free dinner"
After paying the internet debt and closing the laptop, Bucky gets up hoping to find something edible in the kitchen, while leaning over to look inside his fridge and analyzing how bad it would be to eat a fried egg with pasta and sriracha, he hears again a knock on the door, but this time it does not cause Bucky the anguish and anxiety that caused him the first time, but quite the opposite.
-"Open the door Winter Router! I prepared chicken pot pie for dinner"-.
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actuallysaiyan · 3 years
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CONGRATULATIONS ON 1K FOLLOWERS! You deserve every single one of them and more! Can I participate in your event PLEASE? 🥺
Since you already did a match-up for me, I'll choose Android 17 as my character and here's all the info you need!
Name: Corethra (Corey for short)
MBTI Type: INFJ
Star Sign: Pisces
Venus Sign: Capricorn
Love Language: Acts Of Service
About Me: I have a tough, foul-mouthed, and sometimes mean front that hides my caring and kind nature. I have high standards for both myself and others and I refuse to lower them nor change for anyone. Accept me as I am or keep it moving. I'm also a bit territorial and I take relationships seriously. No casual flings or hook-ups here! I can come across as demanding and uncompromising but that's only because I want the same respect, passion, and undying loyalty that I'm willing to give my partner and I don't want to be abandoned or betrayed.
I haven't been on a date nor have I had a relationship (still a virgin too) so I'm not really sure about what I'd like to do on a date 😅 But I do enjoy going out to restaurants and playing video games so something involving gaming or food will do!
As for music genre/artist/band, I have a wide variety of music that I enjoy but my main genre is basically anything alternative or rock. My favorite band is Evanescence and my favorite artist is Ciara 😁
I think I'll ask for smut this time 😉
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Your Song: At Last- Etta James Headcanons:
When you first met Android 17, he was still cold and distant. He liked you, but it was hard for him to open up to you and actually become your friend. He takes a long time to come to terms with what’s happened to him in life and you really help him see the beauty of life.
As you grow closer, Android 17 finds himself feeling things he thought he’d never feel again. You were becoming someone so important in his life and he found himself wanting to spend more time with you and he hates the way other people look at you. He doesn’t want anyone to ask you out or date you.
It was actually Krillin and his sister, Android 18, who were the ones that got you two together. They noticed how close you were to each other and Android 18 told her brother to ask you out on a date. He was very nervous about it, since he had developed a crush on you by this point.
The first date was awkward, but you both had a wonderful time. Android 17 brought you to a very nice restaurant and though you both were nervous, it felt nice to finally have some alone time and actually go on a real date. He didn’t know exactly what to say to you, but every time you laughed, he felt his heart skip a beat.
It took some time for the two of you to fully feel comfortable around one another. You were worried that maybe he wasn’t fully committed, and he worried that you weren’t interested enough in him. But when he kissed you for the first time, everything fell into place.
You both love to spend time together, either playing video games, taking a walk in the woods or just spending quality time together. Android 17 feels the most comfortable with you and he knows he can be his true self with you. He doesn’t need to hide anything from you and he doesn’t have to be cold or distant with you.
Lots of cuddles. He feels like he is so safe in your arms, and he knows that you feel the same way about him. He’ll pull you onto his chest and wrap his arms around you while you both snuggle while watching a movie. It’s one of the best feelings in the world.
Android 17 treats you like a princess. He will do absolutely anything to see you smile, and he always has your best interests at heart. He will never do anything to make you sad intentionally. He’s also very much into buying or making you little gifts or doing kind things for you.
On the flip side, you are quick to treat Android 17 like he is the greatest thing in the world. This dynamic works so well for the two of you as you are both so willing to be caring and generous to one another, making you both feel like a million dollars.
Whenever you’re in public, he can get a little possessive in a sense. He doesn’t want anyone else checking you out. He can’t help but feel jealous of anyone who thinks they can get some action with you. Thankfully for him, you are so quick to shut those creeps down. Android 17 has nothing to worry about while he’s with you, and same goes for you.
Being intimate together after being apart:
His movements are rough and needy as he picks you up and throws you onto the bed. It’s a little bit playful in a way, but you know that if you tease him for too long, he will definitely get rougher than this. It’s not often that Android 17 gets this way, but when it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate together.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters against the soft spot on your neck. You groan as he bites down gently, leaving only light teeth marks.
“I’ve missed you so much,” you manage to say between your labored breath. One of his hands is already down your panties, rubbing your clit.
“I missed you too. I can’t wait to show you how much,”
His words go straight to your core. You shudder softly as his fingers finally pump into you, your walls stretching to accommodate him. It feels so good and he’s barely done anything to you yet. The excitement from seeing again after him being gone so long is what’s making you this aroused.
“Are you already going to cum?” There’s a mocking tone in his voice as he slows his pace. You can feel your orgasm subsiding as he slows to a stop.
“Seventeen,” you whine. “Why would you stop like that?” He chuckles and leans in to quiet you with a soft and passionate kiss.
“Because I just love the way you beg me.” He admits, curling his fingers to stimulate your g spot. Your eyes roll back in your head as he continues to fuck you with his fingers, this time his thumb comes to bully your clit.
“Gonna fucking cum!” You cry out, bucking up against his hand. He speeds up in the best way possible, never letting up on the pressure.
“Cum all over my fingers, beautiful. I want to feel you come undone.”
That’s all you need as your toes curl and your vision cuts to static. You mewl his name as your orgasm wracks all throughout your body. Android 17 is palming himself through his jeans while he watches you cum.
It doesn't take long for him to get himself undressed and push himself deeply into you. You both moan as he bottoms out, his balls plush against your ass. He’s trying to contain himself as best as he can, but it’s proving to be too much.
“I love you,”
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innocence - 30
PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader
WARNINGS: angst, panic attack
A/N: all i can say is enjoy it before it goes completely downhill xx
NEXT CHAPTER
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   - Marry me, Y/N. - she looked at him in disbelief, lips slightly parted as she wondered if she had heard him correctly?
   - What? 
   - I ... hm ... would you consider being my wife at some point in the near future? 
His father had once told him the moment between the proposal and the answer is the longest moment he’d ever go through. Bucky knew long, he knew long times, he was 106 after all but this moment seemed to last three centuries. She stared at him as if she had merely imagined those words. His heart beat against his chest like a drum, as she opened her mouth. She was going to say no. Why would she even say yes? She was so sweet, so beautiful, so full of a  sweet loving innocence which just  made her endearing to anyone and everyone who met her. He is not the type of man that ends up with a girl like her. No, he’s the type of man who she dates as a mistake, the one she dates before she meets the one and Bucky was constantly waiting for the moment she realised he was a monster.
  - Yeah. - she smiled, the type of smile which easily brightened up his day. She moved from her spot in the bed, sitting on top of his lap to wrap her arms around his neck. - Yes, I will marry you. 
  - What?
  - Yes. - she leaned down to kiss him. - I will become your wife at some point in the near future. 
  - So, just to be safe, you are agreeing to marry me? Me? - he was still in shock she had said yes. Those words, that question, it was just came out of his mouth like crazy ramblings spawned out of his desire to have a family with her. He just didn’t expect her to say yes. He didn’t expect her to be sat on top of his lap, smiling at him having said yes. - Doll, I ... Fuck, I don’t have a ring. I can’t believe I just proposed to you without a ring.
   - That’s fine. I love you and you love me. I don’t need a ring. - she cupped his face, kissing the tip of his nose. - Just us. 
   - Just us. - he leaned towards to capture her chapstick covered lips into a soft kiss. - I like that, princess. Just us. 
   - Yeah. - Y/N shyly smiled, leaning against his shoulder. - You make me so happy, Buck. You don’t even know how happy you make me. 
Bucky didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say, what to reply to her so all he did was just look at her, head tucked on the shoulder, the metal shoulder with such confidence and such care. She did not believe he could hurt her and she loved him. There were little moments in his life which had made him want to cry, he had refused to cry many times, but having the woman he loved tell him she loves him, she cares for him, she’ll marry him ... the same woman telling him he makes her happy, not just any woman, the woman he loved ... gosh, it was too much. All he could do was kiss her scalp, hold her close to his naked chest which in any other time it would’ve turned sexual but now, now it was just a candid moment, a moment he wanted to hold close to him for as long as he could leave. He refused to forget the feeling of her hair strands against his shoulder, her warm hand against his chest.
The rest of the holidays were as eventful as it would be. Y/N had decided to only tell her parents about the engagement, keeping her extended family and siblings outside the news merely to keep the event away from the media. She didn’t want it publicised and neither did Bucky. Her parents were overjoyed, with her mother wanting to take photographs of them to put on the family album while her father just gave him the look he would’ve given to his sister’s husband had he been ... well, there. All good things come to an end and that end was very close as the two of them were supposed to fly back to New York for Y/N to attend the New Years’ Eve Vanity Fair gala. 
     - I wished we could stay for longer. - Y/N groaned as she stuffed more clothing into her luggage. - Last thing I need is a gala.  
     - It’ll be okay, princess. - Bucky came up from behind her, resting his chin against her shoulder. - We can return when you have another free time slot.
     - I never have free time. 
     - I’ll steal you away if they overwork you. - he bite her shoulder playfully. - What’s the sad mood really all about? Don’t tell me it’s about missing Colin calling me a 200 year old. 
      - It’s silly. - she shook her head, folding more of her clothing to put with the rest of it. 
     - I know that face. - he turned her so she was facing him. - What is it? Is it your parents? Do you miss your parents?
     - No ... I ... uhm, remember the Halloween party you and I went to?
     - Yeah, what about it?
     - I met some people from the RSC and they said if I ever was in London, I should try and audition for their West End run of Moulin Rouge. I got this e-mail yesterday, auditions are in like an hour and I don’t know ...
     -  Do you wanna do it?
     - No, I mean ... I can’t, my contract says they’ll pick the opportunities for me and it’s London and I’m in New York. Besides, we leave in two hours.
     - They don’t need to know. 
     - Bucky ... - she was about to argue with him but he interrupted her, kissing her sweetly. 
     - Do you wanna do it? - he looked into her eyes. Bucky could always tell when she was lying by looking into her eyes; she would always divert them away from the person standing in front of her, normally to the right, chin tucked into her chest, gaze up. 
     - I ... I do but ...
     - We can make it. Your agency does not need to know and it’s not like it’s a done deal. Princess, if you wanna do it then do it.
     - Buck, it’s not that simple. 
     - It is that simple, doll. I can get you wherever you want without anyone knowing and we’ll still make our flight.
     - Bucky, I’m not gonna get it. - she sat on top of her bed. She didn’t know if she was gonna get it and it wasn’t that she was afraid of failure or rejection, god she knew both too well, all she was afraid of was if they discovered. She was under a tight contract but those words, that invite to her during that party, it just pulled at her conscience. Bucky was much too familiar with her to know exactly what was going through her mind. 
      - I’m not gonna let anyone touch you. - his fingers hooked under her chin, turning her face towards him so he could lean his forehead against hers. - They won’t know.
    -  Bucky, they always know.
    - You don’t get to be called a ghost story if you’re not good at being a ghost, princess. If you don’t want to do it then it’s okay but if you’re not gonna do it because of what your agency thinks ... 
    - You’re sure no one will know?
    - Well if they do, we can always get you plastic surgery. - he lightened up the mood making her look up at him, her chin tucked in her chest as she lightly giggled, rolling her eyes at him. - You’ll be fine, princess. 
She was nervous as the taxi pulled in front of one of the theatres were the auditions were happening. Looking at her watch, exactly an hour before they had to make it to the airport, check in and get to their gates. Maybe this was a mistake, how was she supposed to feel? The agency had given her a shot at a career in the States, everyone wants a career in the States. She should be happy, she should be so happy but how happy could she feel about being back if thinking about stepping into that plane destroyed her heart into a million pieces. Looking to her right, Bucky was smiling at her, always blindly believing her even if she led him directly into the fire, but he was there. He kissed her temple as she left the car and rushed into the theatre before anyone could show. 
She had been to so many auditions before, she had felt her body shake so many times when her name was called out after signing a non disclosure agreement as it was usual for popular shows. This time it was different, this time the light seemed brighter, illuminating each of her features and almost illuminating the sweat starting to form on her forehead. She stood tall, almost like a woman in a panting with hands resting against the beginning of her skirt, one foot in front of the other. 
    - My name is Y/N Y/LN and I’m auditioning for the part of Satine. - her voice even wavered as she struggled to do something she had been so used to doing since she was young. 
    - What will you be performing, Miss Y/L/N?
    - If It is True from My Life with Albertine. - she looked over to the pianist, signalling him to start.
Her heart was beating so fast and she could feel her whole being shaking as she wondered what Miss Olson would do to her if she even suspected she was doing an audition outside of her contract. She ended up missing the first bars, looking down at her feet as she thought back to quit until she saw him sat down in the further back of the theatre. Cap on, almost covering his whole face but she could see his eyes, she could see his blue eyes just like she could see them every morning  when she woke up. 
    - If it is true, you love me. If when at night dreaming you dream of me then I am luckier than the king who rules the sea. - she decided to sing for him instead, blurring everything except for his almost blended figure in the back. Her hands touched the pearls laying against her neck as she cocked her head to the side, small smile on her lips. - And if I die a sudden death for reasons why I do not know. But if I die a sudden death to live forever in paradise, I will not be as happy, in all that time, as I have been with you. If it is true, if it is so, you love me. If it is true, and I have heard you then I am wealthier than a queen with love of you, I am wealthier than a king with love of you.
The bars ended and she returned her gaze to the board of the directorial team which gestured for her to leave and someone else to enter. She left through the backstage, meeting Bucky just at stage door, who wrapped his arms around her, twirling her before kissing her lips and nose.
    - You did so great, princess. It’s almost unfair for the other people auditioning.
    - We need to get going or we’ll miss our flight. - she avoided another one of his kisses, her watch shining brightly with the hour. - C’mon. 
    -  It’s gonna be fine, princess. We’ll make it.
Once again, he was right. How could he not be right? When it came to time management, Bucky seemed to be almost too good at it, almost too good for someone who had so much time. Nevertheless, they were inside the plane again, the time when they had left New York now so behind them as they returned to his birthplace. She leaned against him arm, not caring it was made of metal, it was him and that’s all it mattered to her. Y/N was innocent enough to believe she could do  whatever she wanted while in London, while in the airplane but she knew the moment she stepped foot on American soil she was back to being property of her agency. Back to the parties, the gowns and the constant filming. She loved her job, she really did but things pilled up so easily and she felt locked inside a cage, slowly suffocating. 
She did not want the plane to land, she did not want to be in the present of her situation but it did and during the early hours of the morning both her and Bucky were going down the stairs of the plane and onto the sleeve which lead to the baggage claim area. Bucky immediately went in bodyguard mood despite the fact the airport was very much empty but no him no amount of care was too much and until they got inside the taxi, he cut through people with precise ease, yet held her hand like any boyfriend would. The ride home was silent, neither Bucky or Y/N liked to discuss their matters in front of people they did not trust. The walk up to his apartment was equally silent, with the both of them basking in their own comfort until they reached the door. The two walked in hand and hand before throwing the bags to the side.
    - Home sweet home. - Bucky kissed the side of her forehead. - So, what’s the agenda for tomorrow?
    - Boring. - she groaned, sitting down on his couch. 
    - You get to eat for free, how boring can it be?
    - Those 40s habits sure die hard, don’t they? - she smirked. - I need to get to my apartment at 4PM to get my makeup and hair done, put the dress on ... PR shots and so on. 
    - Your apartment?
    - I know what you’re thinking, Buck. - she tilted her head slightly to the side.
    - I am not thinking anything.
    - Please. - she crossed her arms. - You’re thinking it’s not safe.
    - That’s not what I’m thinking. - he walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. - I’m thinking it’s not safe to have that many people in an unsafe apartment without me around.
    - You’re not gonna be there? - she was taken by surprise. Bucky was always around, even when they weren’t dating. 
    - Ms. Olson said I can’t be there. Might spoil something ... whatever that means ... but I’ll escort you to the venue and stay with you from then onwards.
    - You’re not gonna be far, are you?
    - I thought you knew what I was thinking, doll face. - he leaned his forehead against hers, teasing smile gracing his lips as those words left him. - You think I’d let you be alone with those people far away from me? No, princess, I’ll be around. 
    - Good. 
Y/N did not enjoy the parties she had to attend as a member of her agency. Everything was highly planed, too planed even and so was this day. She entered her old apartment and a swat team of people were already waiting for her, she smiled at them, grabbing the letters which had started to pile up on the floor ever since she left to stay with Bucky, until Ms. Olson grabbed her arm and pulled her into her bedroom where the hairstylist and makeup artist were waiting for her. Her assistant’s hands pushed onto her shoulders to sit her down in the chair. Y/N started to go through her letters, most were Christmas postcards, bills, letters from several companies and none mattered much except for one in a brown envelope. She furrowed her eyebrows at the lack of sender name or even her own name or address in the envelope. As the hairstylist started to style her hair, she opened the envelope, a few photos of her falling on her lap. A breathe got stuck in her throat as she saw her own eyes scratched out with crosses over them. 
   - What is that? - Ms Olson took the photos off her hands. - Why is this still happening? Last thing we need is crazy stalker PR.
   - I .. I don’t know. - she shrugged, not knowing why she felt so guilty. It wasn’t her fault. Right?
   - Right, I’m sending this to Mr. Hawthorne, he has a friend in the government, and you ... you better not get into any trouble tonight, Y/N. Are we clear?
   - Yes, Ms Olson.
   - Good and try to smile a bit more for the photos. 
Her ears filled with a static buzz and although she could see herself in the mirror and her surroundings, she felt she was laying on the floor of a dark room with dead eyes. Motionless, she remained motionless staring at herself in the mirror yet not understanding the image she could see. She wondered if she had fallen too deep into the industry to be rescued and suddenly that black dark room was filling with water and she just let it happen. Y/N just laid on that metaphorical dark ground, floating in the dark water which kept entering her lungs until she couldn’t bring anymore.
   - You’re ready. - she had been so lost in her own mind she did not realise she was fully dressed, hair ready and makeup done. It was pretty subtle, she thought, small black dress falling pretty much looser with tussled hair and skin toned makeup. It was something she’d pick for herself ... maybe the agency did knew her better than she did. 
They did the same thing they always did, some shots some not candid candid moments for social media and the good old fake champagne shot. She never really enjoyed champagne, she found it quite bitter even sour but it was prestigious. She guessed somehow it correlated with how she lived now, or how she was portrayed. She was ushered into the limo to Bucky, her Bucky yet she couldn’t really say anything until it was just her, Bucky and the driver. Once they were at least 10 minutes, it felt like the air she was holding in finally came crashing and she was pushed back into her own reality.
   - Y/N. - Bucky only spoke her name, not touching not do anything. - I am here, you are safe.
   - What? - she looked his way before smiling. She was an actress after all, but he was a former spy assassin. 
   - You are safe. - her features relaxed and she didn’t say a thing, instead marinating in her own thoughts. - I am here, you are safe.
   - I don’t wanna go. - she let it out, her face coming to the realisation of what exactly this meant. She knocked on the partition. - Stop the car.
   - What? - the driver was as confused as Bucky was. 
  - STOP THE CAR! - she yelled out and the car came to an abrupt end. She opened the door and like a mad woman she walked out into the first alley she saw, leaning against the wall with her hand pressed against her chest. Bucky went after her, stopping after he saw her leaning against the brick wall, hand over her mouth. Bucky knew panic attacks when he saw one and this was one of them. 
  - Princess ... - he walked up to her, trying to hold her but she stopped him.
  - I’m not going.
  - Okay, we’re not going. - he took off his gloves, raising his hands in the air. - Look at me princess, it’s me okay. It’s me, just me. Just us. 
   - I can’t do this anymore. 
   - Can you breathe in for me? - Bucky managed to finally hold her once her defences were down. - Count to ten in your head and then breathe out. 
Y/N breathed in, her head going immediately to count sheep, specifically 10 sheep. It was childish and she knew it was childish but she always did that whenever she needed to recover from feeling anxious. She let the air out before repeating again for what felt like a hundred times and things seem to calm down. However, peace and quiet wasn’t in the cards for her.
   - Just what in the heck do you think you’re doing. - Ms. Olson’s high pitched voice made her flinch. - You are not important enough to win the privilege to be late. 
   - Keep it. - Bucky warned, giving her the look no one wanted to receive. A look that was more Winter Soldier than Bucky Barnes.
   - You stay in your lane. - she pointed her pen at him. - Get in the car right now, Y/N. I do not have the time to deal with whatever childish diva tendencies you’re developing.
    - Not now, let her be.
    - Y/N. - she tried to grab Y/N’s arm but Bucky got to her before she did, twisting her wrist with his metal arm before he could even realise what he was doing. He let go of her wrist, but still looked at her as if he was ready to kill her. Instincts die hard. - You are going to regret this, Barnes. And you, Y/N, get in that car now.
   - No. - she meekly perked up.
   - Excuse me?
   - No. - she spoke out a little bit more strongly, forcefully grabbing her purse. - I am not going. 
   - You don’t get to ...
   - Yes, I do. - she interrupted him. - I did not sign a contract which specifically mentioned what events I need to attend, just how many. As such, I am not going and if you try to stop me or try to touch me without my permission ever I will sue you for harassment and I don’t think having an affair with Mr. Hawthorne pays for the legal fees you’d have to pay.
   -  You will sue me? - she almost scoffed at the not so meek actress. 
   - My dad is a barrister and my siblings are all lawyers. I have more knowledge of law and suing than you ever did and ever will. 
   - You wanna call the shots now, tots? - she rolled her eyes before stepping back. - Okay. 
Y/N remained behind suspicious of why it had been so easy to get rid of her but decided not to dwell on it. Bucky too was unsuspicious but was more worried about Y/N. She wrapped her hand against his, kissing his shoulder as the two watched Ms. Olson’s car leave along with her car. Typical. Of course she took her car. 
 - It’ll be fine, right? - she questioned looking up.
 - If everything goes to hell, we’ll move to a private dessert island and start there.
 - Let’s just go home. - she breathed out. - Let’s just forget new year’s eve.
 - It’s a lousy date anyway.
 - Yeah. Why are we celebrating the sun rotating a full turn around Earth? It’s ridiculous. 
Bucky was always happy to spend alone time with her and while part of him wanted to ask what had triggered her panic attack, he let her have her space. The two of them just sat on the couch, his head on her lap as she played with his hair, some old movie he liked to watch back in the 40s. The year went by and a new one began. At the beginning of the year, he wouldn’t have believe he’d end up here, with her, with the woman he loved, engaged. It was almost too good to be truth and sometimes Bucky wondered if he had been knocked unconscious during a mission and this was all his mind giving him what he always wanted. She had fallen asleep, having laid down next to him. 
The morning peeked into his apartment and as per usual he was the first one up, tidying the place up and even putting some flowers up for when she woke up. Y/N loved flowers and so he had made it his mission to ensure she always woke up to new ones. “This is going to make you broke” she would tell him, but he didn’t care. If he had to spend his last days buying fresh roses every morning for the woman he loved then he was going to do it. He leaned against the fridge, drinking his coffee as he did each morning until his phone rang. He clumsily tried to answer it before it could wake up Y/N. Damned IPhone and damned Sam Wilson who made him switch from his razor phone.
    - Barnes. - he answered.
    - Mr. Barnes, it’s Agent Cox. We have an assignment for you.
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years
Text
While You Sleep
Chapter 17
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst, mental health discussion Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
You had no idea where Bucky was taking you. All you did know was that he was gripping your hand tightly and walking slightly faster than you, say, the average human would be used to. He was feeling a lot, you could tell. A million little things going off in that head of his. You wanted to know them all to try to ease them. You wanted to help him again as he had helped you these past few weeks. 
But he wasn’t giving you a chance. Right now, the only thing he was outwardly focusing on was dinner. Whatever this dinner was going to actually entail. 
You almost couldn’t believe it when he finally came to a stop. Your eyes got wide as you read the restaurant name. You lowered your gaze quickly to look in at the familiar decor and seating. 
It’s where you two had met. Where you had that first date. The night you began to consider that maybe the nightmares had been a blessing, not a curse. You wished you still had that attitude. 
“This is where you want to eat?” You asked.
Bucky shrugged. “Brings back good memories.” 
With nothing much else left to say, Bucky guided you into the restaurant. He asked for a table for two and by some weird luck from Fate, you two were seated at a very familiar table. In very familiar seats. All that was missing was a proud-looking Steve to make some smart remarks. Oh, Steve… You worried about what he would think of this situation. 
“You gonna get the salad again?” Bucky asked. His voice was almost on the lighter side, easing some of your concerns - at least, for the time being. You chuckled. 
“Is that really what I got on our first date?” You sighed. “How cliche of me.”
“You were nervous. I was nervous,” Bucky admitted. His eyes danced around the menu. “Hell, I’m still nervous.”
Slowly, you pushed your menu aside, already having settled on the salad again (don’t wanna get too crazy), and reached for Bucky’s hand. He was shaking just ever so slightly.
“It’s okay,” you whispered, your thumb drawing mindless patterns on the back of his hand. He gripped yours tighter, giving a little nod.
Soon after that, the waitress stopped by and took your drink and meal orders. Everything was pretty much cookie-cutter from your first trip here. Bucky with his burger, you with your salad. Both indulge in some ice water. You almost wanted to make a comment about the chicken nuggets, but Bucky looked way too all over the place for much more banter. He let go of your hand, sadly.
Bucky suddenly spoke your name like it was breaking his heart with every syllable. Your eyes perked up. “What are we going to do?” He asked. 
You shifted your gaze quickly. “You heard what Bruce suggested.”
“There has to be something more we can do.”
“He seemed pretty dead set on it,” you sighed. “He’s the expert, Buck.”
“Well, maybe we need to get a second opinion from whoever he was talking about-,”
Your eyes fell on him once more. “Bucky, what’s going on?”
Now Bucky was the one looking away. Your waitress awkwardly placed your meals in their respective spots. Neither of you moved.
“I don’t know if I can give it up.”
“Wh-What?”
Bucky ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. “I always thought that’d be what I wanted, to just stop. No more fighting, no more missions, no more… Anything. Just live a normal life as I should’ve all those years ago.” He let out an exaggerated breath. “But now that it’s actually a possibility, the thought of giving up everything I’ve known is daunting.”
You felt your eyes beginning to water. You dug your nails into your hand trying not to explode in the restaurant. “Bucky, come on. This could help me so much, you know? Please tell me you realize that because right now it looks like you don’t… you don’t care that I’ve suffered.”
“Sweetheart, please, I-I get that. I really do.” Bucky tried reaching for your hand upon seeing how tense they were but you quickly pulled away. “It’s just… What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t cope and then, sure, the nightmares stop but you lose me.”
“Lose you?”
“What if I don’t adapt?” 
The question hung over the table eerily. You didn't really know the answer to this. You hadn’t thought this was going to be something that needed a whole conversation on. In your mind, it was so simple: Bucky gives up missions, the nightmares stop, you two live happily ever after. You never thought there’d be a chance he’d be too nervous to retire. Too concerned about himself, his mind. You had seen him so strong going against the organization that terrorized him. But there was a distraction. An ulterior motive. You. 
He had distractions galore, you just being the newest addition, and giving up work would put him in the unknown. 
“You don’t think you can just exist as a civilian.”
“Possibly,” he confirmed. You closed your eyes, trying to center yourself. Your anger was slowly subsiding as you tried to understand.
With shaky breaths, you dared to ask, “You can’t even try for me?”
As you slowly opened your eyes, you thought Bucky looked like he had been slapped. The surprised yet uncertain reaction he wore made you wonder what you were getting yourself into. What you had been getting yourself into.
But as fast as all those emotions ran across Bucky’s face, he quickly pulled himself out of it. It was like he was suddenly aware of what was going on. What point you two were at here. You felt a slight pull from within you.
He shook his head. “I’m going to have to, aren’t I?”
You sighed, realizing the position you had now put him in. There was almost no winning in this situation, huh? “No, Bucky. Not if you don’t want to. I’m sorry, I’m making this all about me.” 
With shaky hands, you tried stabbing at your salad but your appetite had suddenly gone missing. You wanted to push the whole thing off the table and storm away, completely lost in your anger over the hand you had been dealt. Everyone else got happy, exciting lives with their soulmate - why couldn’t that be the case for you and Bucky?
Bucky gave you a weak smile, his eyes softer at your apology. “I think you’re entitled to do so given…everything.”
“It’s just… This isn’t fair. None of this is fair. Neither of us should have to give up anything to just have a life together.”
Bucky picked at his french fries. “I’ll try, doll. We’ll go to Steve later, let him know.”
“A-Are you sure?” It felt maybe too good to be true. But Bucky nodded, fairly confidently. 
“You’re right, the situation is not fair. But I have a chance to maybe make it a little better.” His voice cracked ever so slightly. “We both deserve a life together.”
You nodded, your heart filling with optimism, something you don’t think you felt so presently since your first time in this restaurant. Close to a full-circle moment, you declared. “Do you think Steve will be okay with this?”
“It was recommended by Bruce. Doctor’s orders, literally,” Bucky chuckled. “Besides, he’s my best friend. He’ll understand.”
***
“I don’t understand.”
Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise. You shifted uncomfortably beside him. “About retirement or…”
“No, no,” Steve shook his head, waving a hand in dismissal. “You could’ve walked away at any point before this, Buck. I mean about the nightmares. I thought they would’ve gone away.”
You both let out sighs of relief. Leave it to Steve to fumble that one. He had seemed a bit different when you entered the room like something was on his mind. Neither of you asked him about it but you knew Bucky would grill him eventually. Especially after that misunderstanding. 
You had been pretty much dreading this conversation as just a while ago you were nervous about what Steve would think. He had been such a key player in this arrangement, having only the best intentions the world wasn’t aligning with. You knew he was always concerned about the nightmares so it must’ve been a bit unsettling to hear improvement wasn’t exactly linear. 
“Bruce discovered our bond has been tampered with,” Bucky explained. It was as simple as anyone could put it and you were actually thankful for that. You grabbed Bucky’s hand, he accepted. 
“A tampered bond?” Steve shook his head. “I’ve never heard of anything like that before. What caused-,”
The words died on Steve’s lips as he saw the dark look that came over Bucky’s face. There was no need to speak of it anymore. Steve nodded in a silent understanding.
He changed the subject, “Well, I think it’s very brave of you, Buck, to want to step away.”
“Thank you-,”
“But this was passed along to me today.” Steve tossed a folder on the table. You didn’t miss the way Bucky tensed in your arms as he stared at the government emblem embossed into the waxy paper. You waited, hopeful, for how Bucky would approach this.
Bucky began shaking his head slowly. “I just got done saying-,”
“You know this isn’t under my control,” Steve said. Hell, even you knew that and this wasn’t anywhere near to what you did for a living. No government orders were coming down about coffee. 
“Why me?” He asked just above a whisper.
Steve crossed his arms, frowning like a man holding the secret of the universe. He ignored Bucky’s initial question. “They said you needed to be included. I glanced over it and it honestly doesn’t look too complicated. I’m still working out who will all be on the team. I just know, well, you’re on it.” He sighed and glanced down. “The government thinks it’s the least you can do given your...history.”
Bucky scoffed but didn’t try to defend himself. Something in your heart snapped at that. He dropped your hand and reached for the folder. You tried looking over information but everything was just jumbled nonsense to you. It probably didn’t help that you were suddenly crying. Neither of the men had noticed but you felt the tears hitting your cheeks. You saw the way your vision was getting blurred. Just one more time, you told yourself as some sort of self-soothing affirmation bullshit. You needed to book a therapy session, stat. 
“Fine,” Bucky agreed without so much as looking at you. But why would he? What were you going to do? This was outside the realm of anyone in the room but that didn’t mean it didn’t absolutely cut you up inside. 
All you could do was hope. Once again, some fueling from good old-fashioned hope was going to get you through it. Hope that the mission will go smoothly. Hope that he'll come back in one piece. Hope that this wouldn’t be a distraction for you to just get whisked away again (you doubted, but hey, life got funny). 
You had one tragedy creeping into your brain every night. You didn’t need another one on top of it. You wanted to communicate this to Bucky but you believed he already had some idea of it by the way his eyes overanalyzed every word on the file’s pages. 
Just this one. The words were unsung but well present in the room. You felt like the world was never going to let you catch a break as Bucky took your hand and began leading you out of the compound, still not looking at you.
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