#i thought about a faith addition to this post but honestly

[rookisaknight]

Lrb relevant something about the way each brother is constantly reiterating their trauma in an attempt to subdue it.

Jacob, most direct and long-term recipient of their father's abuse, surrounds himself with people he's conditioned to become violent at the drop of a hat.

But its ok, because he controls the trigger this time.

Joseph, left abandoned by the splitting of their family, creates conditions for his new Family that are so untenable it's only a matter of time before any given member tries to leave him.

But it's ok, because being forced to constantly negotiate, gaslight, and threaten people into sticking with him makes him feel like he has power over his isolation this time.

John reliving his childhood torture every goddamn day, carving himself up when he can't carve up others and having his fear of damnation dangled over his head by his brother god. Constantly repenting, constantly atoning, never forgiven.

But it's ok, because he holds the knife this time. When you hold the knife, you get to say when it stops, and you get to extract sin from others rather than have it extracted from you.

[mareastrorum]

These are just initial thoughts, and perhaps I’ll learn something that changes my mind on it, but I’m glad to see Critical Role making the leap to their own subscription service with Beacon.

As a lead in: I’m an attorney that has some background in IP law, though it isn’t what I practice currently. I’ve kept in contact with several active practitioners, particularly those that represent small-time creators either in their own independent practice or via nonprofits. I do not have an extensive Rolodex of IP peers, nor do I spend the money to keep up on IP CLEs. I’m just someone who used to know a ton because I did heavy research and work in that space, and that hasn’t been the case for years.

So here’s my thoughts a bit on the IP angle:

The primary reason I’m happy to see this leap is that CR is taking active steps to keep control over its IP. It’s a boring thing to most people, but when I start paying attention to a specific creator (authors, directors, companies, etc.), I tend to be very attentive to how they use their IP. How freely do they license their marks to partner with other creators to make merch? How often do they allow others to make adaptations or derivatives of their copyrights? What is the quality of those products? What is the supply chain like? Are those third parties objectionable in some way? Were the other parties faithful to the original works or marks? Was this a cash grab or an earnest effort to make something worth the price tag?

Honestly, I like how CR run their business. They have a history of tapping fans and fellow small businesses when making new merch or spinoffs. They embrace the culture of fan-made derivative works, both by featuring fanart/cosplay and by sharing their success. Do you know how rare it is for a company to pay fan artists for their already-made and freely posted work and then sell books of it? Let me be clear: CR bought a limited license from each artist so they could print and sell each work in a physical book, then paid the cost of publishing that book with no guarantee that CR would make that money back, let alone profit. I have a copy of the collector’s edition art books: they’re actually very well made and the packaging definitely cost a pretty penny. That’s not a rainmaker idea, that’s genuinely risking financial loss to sell something people could access for free if they wanted to.

The art books aren’t a one-off either. Darrington Press is CR’s separate LLC for tabletop games. (It’s good business practice to split off companies that handle products in different industries.) CR has also made shows based on those games, and the Candela Obscura series has quite a dedicated audience. Everything about Candela belongs to them: the game itself, the rule book, all the art in the book, the web series based on the game, and merch. It’s so successful that they invested in scheduling a live show for Candela later this month. That’s HUGE.

Contrast that with the distribution of Campaign 1 and the first 19 episodes of Campaign 2. CR cannot host those videos themselves; Geek & Sundry still exists and still holds what I presume to be distribution rights (but I don’t have the contract to review). So G&S gets to host those videos on YouTube and reaps the advertising. I can’t speak to whatever share CR gets from that, but considering that CR is locked out of hosting their own copies of those videos, I doubt it’s much, if any, revenue. (If you’re wondering why CR just didn’t buy those rights back, I ask: what incentive does G&S have to sell something that’s making them money for no cost?)

Knowing that background about G&S, I was wary of CR choosing Amazon to host and distribute The Legend of Vox Machina. Originally, TLOVM was not the plan; CR had a kickstarter for an animated special based on C1. It was only because they blew past the goal that CR was able to make an entire season. The reasonable assumption is that choosing Amazon had to have secured CR additional funding for future seasons of the show, which seems evident from how quickly season 2 was announced, Mighty Nein Animated is also going to be a thing, and that season 3 of TLVOM is scheduled for fall 2024. CR had the option of just doing 1 season and keeping it purely in their control, but going with Amazon meant they could animate more of their works. Animation is expensive. I cannot stress enough how doubtful I am that CR would have been able to afford this many episodes and both campaigns if they had not gone this route. As wary as I was in the start, it paid off, and it’s going well—so far. Hopefully CR doesn’t regret that decision if Amazon tries something sleazy. But, as before, we don’t have the contracts and can’t know how secure CR’s position is if any dispute came up.

CR also partnered with Dark Horse Comics to make Vox Machina comics and Might Nein Origins comics. What’s especially surprising is that each of the cast had a hand in writing the MNO comics for their characters, with Matt listed for multiple. That isn’t very common with comic adaptations. Often times, IP owners let comic companies go ham with minimal oversight. Being listed as one of the authors comes with IP rights that have to be negotiated. That means that Dark Horse had to talk with CR about whether that warrants more or less revenue going to which party in exchange for that—or, alternatively, whether the comic gets made at all. That’s a ballsy move. You think people can just demand to write the comics that a publishing company is going to pay to print? Pffft. CR wanted some creative control, and that is a big ask. However, Dark Horse still has the distribution rights, both digitally and for physical copies. You couldn’t buy the comics from CR until they came out with the library edition, a book bound compilation of 4/8 comics. But the publisher is still Dark Horse; CR is just allowed to sell the book directly from their own site as well.

Contrast that with the novels about CR characters. CR partnered with Penguin Random House to publish novels about Vex and Vax (Kith & Kin), Lucien (The Nine Eyes of Lucien), and Laudna (What Doesn’t Break). Liam and Laura were vocal about having some say in K&K, whereas Madeline Roux said in an interview that she had full control over TNEOL. Both of those novels were narrated with CR voices, but narrating a book doesn’t come with IP rights, it just brings in a paycheck. There’s a lot less IP control in there compared to the comics, but this isn’t abnormal for book publishing. To be blunt, I doubt PRH would have agreed to publish the novels if anyone from CR had been a co-author or had heavy oversight over the author or the editing. I don’t think PRH even considered that as an option. Either an author that has already managed to sell X number of copies or nothing. Creative control over a book a huge ask, asks come with reduced revenue, and switching to books from a web series is already a leap. The fact that Laura and Liam had any say is surprising, really.

That was a long meandering tour of what we’ve seen CR do with its IP. The reason I bring up each of these things is that navigating the way to protect an IP in this space is rife with challenges. Different types of IP warrant different strategies because of the cost involved in creating each medium and the challenges placed by industries that have already sprung up around them. Any time that a third party is tapped to create an IP, it’s usually because they already have the funds and resources to create the work, and CR has to negotiate for revenue, creative control, distribution, and—the big one—who gets to be the owner. These are not easy, quick, or fun conversations, and CR is always going to be the smaller company at the table.

Knowing that, I’m not surprised or worried that CR is creating its own independent subscription service with Beacon. It tells me that they’re being careful with their IP whenever they can. A subscription service means they don’t have to trade away distribution rights or give up ad revenue to a third party. They’re in this for a long term investment, and that requires solid income not tied to third parties that can definitely outspend them in litigation in the event of a dispute. A subscription for bonus content is one of many parts in a diverse revenue stream.

(All that said, this isn’t meant to criticize creators that cant afford to do this type of thing. It took 9 years for CR to get to the point where Beacon is financially feasible and a desirable business decision. They have enough ongoing, popular content to warrant paying for a subscription, and they’ve built sufficient trust with their audience that more will be added. That takes time and an awful lot of money.)

As a final note, I take this step as a sign that CR definitely intends to stick around. This isn’t a move people make when they plan on ending the business after the current campaign. I’m glad to see CR is taking steps to secure their foundation and keep making new content.

I’m sure people will chime in on other issues (cost, content exclusivity, etc.), but I hope my perspective gives an idea of why this sort of thing is good for business generally and why it would be good for CR.

[lttleghost]

The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️

(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)

While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.

This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.

But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself. 

There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-

EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]

I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-

Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down. 

There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience. 

I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.

So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.

I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.

Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with. 

But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.

Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.

So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.

The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood. 

Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.

Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one  Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.

And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.

Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.

Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.

Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”

It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.

and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.

I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.

I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally. 

In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.

And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.

But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.

Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.

At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much. 

I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;

I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.

But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy). 

And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.

And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.

Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.

[lemonhemlock]

I want to discuss why Criston having sex with Alicent is different.

Sex with Rhaenyra was about her sexual pleasure. It was about scratching that itch, which Criston is not for. He has a different view of sex. The act with Alicent has passion behind it. It's about two lost souls uniting and finding comfort in each other. So no he's not a hypocrite for not wanting to have sex with Rhaenyra. There's a deep emotional bond of devotion between the two.

He's allowed to feel used by Rhaenyra but be all Take Me to Church with Alicent and her WAP.

I won't touch on other points of why they aren't hypocrites for doing the devil's tango, as there are a variety of posts that articulate that but I have yet to see someone bring this up.(if they have good for them, great minds and all). Targaryen dick riders have a fucked up way of discussing SA and consent. That's all I'm saying that. (disclaimer this is not aimed at those who enjoy the Targs for being a fucked up dynasty and find them fascinating but those who think they are gods cause there's a difference.).

Welcome back, coffee queen! ☕Hope you're enjoying the new season 🫶

Love this take and your lexical choices crack me up!! I think that, at one point, Criston was a bit of a playboy, as he does explain with his own mouth that he's had dalliances in the past, but most of my thoughts on that I've put into this post here (so as to not repeat myself). Also this addition here. But, I agree that, fundamentally, Criston has had years to develop his feelings for Alicent, whereas, during his affair with Rhaenyra, he was a young man in awe of a pretty fairy tale princess. So it would make sense why his connection to Alicent would be deeper and more meaningful by now.

Also! People are allowed to "break up" and then get with someone else!

Haters forget that he can be legitimately upset at Rhaenyra not just because she unknowingly placed his life in danger, but also because she was so callous about it. She was proposing that they have occasional hook-ups, whereas he was ready to be very serious about her. So there was this disproportionate emotional involvement in their affair where Criston was risking a whole lot for someone who didn't really care for him, while Rhaenyra wanted casual sex and risked a slap on the wrist for it.

In any case, they quarreled and parted ways. Honestly, the reason doesn't even matter as much - who hasn't broken up with a bf/gf at some point over some dumbass reason, left and never looked back?* Are they supposed to hold a candle over that past relationship forever (regardless of how "legitimate" the grievances were)? The Dance of the Dragons didn't happen because of anything Criston did to Rhaenyra in revenge, she made a lot of bad political decisions herself to compound on the succession crisis engineered by her father. He is allowed to cross over to Alicent and "support" her side if he wants to; it's not the reason Rhaenyra got into trouble.

Not to mention that, after his mental breakdown and freaking suicide attempt, he's had years to contemplate the question of what being a knight and breaking one's vows means and what he boundaries he would be comfortable crossing. The Criston who's that's that me espresso with Alicent isn't the same Criston who slept with Rhaenyra and had a crisis of faith in the aftermath. He knows what he's getting into and he actively chooses to do so, isn't just put randomly in a situation from which he can't extricate himself.

*EDIT: Not that Criston's reason was dumbass, but even if it were, he's not beholden to being sexually available to Rhaenyra forever just because they fucked one time. (I feel like you have to include disclaimers for every gosh darned thing on this website). And the fact that Rhaenyra stans don't understand the concept of consent and how much it colours one's experience is just.... 🤦‍♀️

[a-humble-bagel]

 so i finished good omens season 2 a couple days ago and i have a lot of thoughts about the ending, and how i’m not a big fan of the coffee theory. i think that aziraphale’s decision at the end of the season was actually very in-character, and i honestly love how that ending showed a key difference between aziraphale and crowley, so now im going to explain why i think that. 

(this post ended up being about 1,800 words long, so if you don’t feel like reading that much, than just skip to the conclusion/tldr at the end :] )

the last ten minutes of season 2 absolutely ripped my heart out, but i think one of the worst parts is that it honestly feels completely in character for aziraphale because unlike crowley, aziraphale never lost faith in the system. in season 1, for example, he consistently tried to go through the system to try to stop armageddon, even getting to the point where he decided that the archangels were the problem and decided to try to talk to god personally.

crowley, on the other hand, didn’t even think about trying to convince the demons that armageddon was a bad idea, because, unlike aziraphale, he doesn’t believe in the system. to aziraphale, the flaws in the system were individuals like micheal, uriel, and, in season one, gabriel, and never the actual system. it always seemed to him like the archangels were the ones making mistakes, and he always strove to do what he felt was the ‘right’ decision according to his own moral compass. 

@inhonoredglory wrote a really good analysis here that i very very highly recommend reading, but to summarize, @inhonoredglory talks about how crowley was the one who helped aziraphale learn that he doesn’t have to follow heaven’s command and to do what his heart deems is right, even if it feels like he’s breaking the rule, and how aziraphale isn’t blind to heaven’s problems but wants to fix them. he’s never stopped wanting to do good. 

in addition to this, while aziraphale is still trying to be a good angel, crowley has kinda given up on the whole being a demon and making life worse thing. so while neither aziraphale or crowley follow what their respective sides want, they’re doing it in very different ways. aziraphale is doing what he believes an angel should do, not what heaven believes an angel should do, while crowley doesn’t try to do “demonic” things at all anymore, he’s just kinda living life. 

aziraphale wants to do good. crowley wants to live life. those are the two paths and the two different opinions that played a large role in season 2 ending the way it did. it’s a difference the two have always had, but up until this point in the series, those motivations led to them wanting the same thing (stopping armageddon). however, when the metatron offers aziraphale gabriel’s job, suddenly aziraphale’s and crowley’s desires are leading them to two different paths. 

but obviously there’s a lot more to their relationship than that. i mean the whole series revolves around how much aziraphale and crowley love each other. like @inhonoredglory said, it was crowley who showed aziraphale that he could defy heaven and that it was better to do what his heart said than what the archangels told him. they clearly both love each other so much, even if neither of them are actually willing to say it. that’s why i think that, as tempted as he was, aziraphale wasn’t originally going to accept the metatron’s offer because he couldn’t just leave crowley, but after the metatron said that he could make crowley an angel again, well,

it was basically all aziraphale wanted wrapped up in one thing. he would be able to do real good and make a change and fix all those problems in heaven, and he’d be able to do it with crowley there with him! it was like a dream come true! it’s tricky to remember since we all (or most of us at least, including me) think of this as them breaking up, but it’s important to remember that neither crowley nor aziraphale actually wanted to leave each other. they were both asking the other to stay with them. i mean aziraphale literally says that he needs crowley.

but with all that, why would aziraphale still end up choosing heaven over crowley if he was really acting of his own volition?

im gonna get to that in a minute, but first let’s take a minute to talk about crowley..

now i’ve been talking a lot about how crowley doesn’t believe in the system anymore, but let’s go into the details now. the opening to the entire season shows crowley basically creating the stars and space and more or less the universe, and then his disappointment at the fact that most of his work won’t even get to be appreciated. he’s clearly upset and plans to ask god about it, assuming he can’t get into trouble for asking a few questions which we know from season one is how he got kicked out of heaven, so it’s very probable that he questioned god, disagreed with god, got kicked out and didn’t seem to care about being “good”.

aziraphale questions whether what heaven is doing is right, where as crowley just questioned god. so, crowley got kicked out because he questioned the system (god) and was met with an “i’m right, you’re wrong” attitude. after all that, why would he trust the system? why would he believe that heaven could be reformed if he’s seen some of the worst stuff it could do? why would he ever want to be an angel again when the first time around, he put all his love and effort into something only for it to be underappreciated, and when he dared to ask otherwise he got kicked out?

also, when he snuck up to heaven, crowley discovered why gabriel went down to earth (or part of it at last). gabriel said no to armageddon 2, he defied the will of the archangels and the metatron (and we assume god as well), and for that he was going to lose all of his power. he only had power as long as he agreed with everyone else, and when he disagreed all of that power was taken away, just like it had been taken away from crowley.

so, as far as crowley sees it. heaven is broken and corrupt and unfixable, and the only way he’s able to do what he likes is without both heaven and hell. after all, that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to do what he wants. he wanted his creation of space to be allowed to develop, he wanted to be left alone by heaven and hell, he wants aziraphale to be there with him. so, to crowley, aziraphale saying he wanted to take over heaven and make crowley and angel again would have seemed like the worst possible thing in the world. being an angel in heaven would take away almost everything he wants, except aziraphale. 

so, we have crowley, who needs aziraphale, and needs freedom from heaven and hell, and we have aziraphale who needs crowley, and who needs to be able to do good. now, let’s quickly talk about the metatron’s offer before we get back to aziraphale’s decision. now, when the metatron is talking with aziraphale, it’s clear that at first aziraphale is just being polite. he clearly wants to get away and go back to crowley, until the metatron mentions crowley. even after that, aziraphale still seems very conflicted.

i’d also like to point out that while i don’t believe the coffee theory, the metatron is definetly manipulating aziraphale, he just doesn’t need any magic to do it. the metatron goes out of his way to seem approachable and just like aziraphale (by getting him human coffee), the smile drops from his face and ominous music plays as he and aziraphale leave the bookshop, and, even though he tells aziraphale to ‘take all the time [he] needs’, he’s right back to ask him if he’s made up his mind after only a few short minutes, after he sees crowley storm out. not to mention, the metatron definetly knows more than he lets on, he mentions that crowley was always “asking damn fool questions” which we can assume are the questions about space that got him thrown out of heaven. 

@halemerry​ wrote a really good analysis of the metatron’s manipulation here that goes into a lot more detail than what i just said and i’d really reccomend reading it.

so now aziraphale has to choose between doing what his heart says is the “right” thing to do, and what his heart desires (crowley), and he’s being pressured and mainpulated by the metatron into choosing the first option. now, throughout the series, he’s often conflicted on whether or not he should do what feels right, and crowley has helped him learn that it’s better for him to do what seems good to him. it’s just that in the past that always aligned with him and crowley working together.

and so, no matter how much it’s hurting him, aziraphale chooses to go up to heaven because now he can finally do good. he feels that it’s what he has to do, no matter how painful it is. and when he hears about “the second coming” his determination grows. he has to be up there, someone has to keep things in line, someone has to fix the system. but, what about the smile? why would he smile? well for the same reason he smiled in the bookshop just before he left:

and the same reason he smiled before getting in the elevator:

he’s putting on a brave face. i mean moments before he smiled in the elevator he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but now he’s smiling and trying to pretend as though nothing is wrong.

and that is why aziraphale choosing to go to heaven is in character. because he’s always believed that the problem was the people in the system, not the system itself, because crowley helped him learn to do what he feels is right regardless of his own personal comfort with that, because he doesn’t have the context crowley does of knowing what it’s like to be a high level angel and knowing what exactly got gabriel punished, and because, yes, he is being manipulated by the metatron, but all the metatron needs are words, not coffee. 

tldr: aziraphale would choose to go to heaven because he thinks he can fix it, he doesn’t have the context crowley does, the metatron is manipulating him (but not with magic), and he’s learned (through crowley) to do what he feels is right regardless of how uncomfortable it makes him feel. it’s just that in this case, the thing that will let him do the most good is leaving crowley

[laithraihan]

I'm the anon who sent you the long message that apparently came off "pompous & infantilizing" and more to your followers.

I find it interesting that that message sparked such a flood of defenders, when I did not send it in bad faith at all. From your answer it seems I'm lacking context so sorry if I took some of your statements the wrong way, but nonetheless I just found the parental love addition strange and reacted to that, that was all there was to it. I clearly stated (three times) I'm not taking any issue with your headcanons.

By saying they are far removed from canon I did not mean to say they are "too unrealistic" or something is wrong with that, I literally said the opposite. I meant just that, that factually, this will not be a common interpretation for someone who is familiar with the source material but not your blog. This is not a statement that I made with any judgemental value and I thought I made that very clear but apparently not.

So I'm sorry for the additional ask.

Have a nice day.

Thank you for the response.

I was fully aware you said there was no issue with what I drew, but the way you wrote everything else sort of negated that statement. At least that's how me and many other people saw it.

If someone finds what I drew strange or confusing then they could always just... block me or ask me about it (and btw I expected people to be confused, otherwise I wouldnt have labeled it "non-coupling" as soon I posted it lol)

Someone did ask me about it, and you seem to have already seen that response, yet you still felt the need to send another message basically implying that an explanation wasn't enough (turns out it actually wasnt enough because people said I was lying and in denial) and that my explanation was weird too? Which is whatever I already ended up clarifying that, English is not my first language and I type things with the help of a translator (I wish people could actually keep this in mind. I only type in English because it'll reach a wider audience and it's the language most of my followers know. Often I have to google words people tell me online, or I ask my friends fluent in English to explain things for me)

You can say "that's not what I intended" but that's how it came across... you wrote a lot of nice words while also saying it was understandable that people were ganging up on me over a drawing, it seemed patronizing.

That's why me and others took offense to it, but I think it's difficult to tell tone through text so I don't want to keep nitpicking this any further. If you say you had no ill intent then I believe you.

The following will just be me adding more context and not necessarily aimed at you: Again I understand the lack of context of my account can make people confused about my art, Ive made that clear many times.

The art I made where I said "if your parents didnt love you then it's obvious" was a direct response to people who were mocking me specifically for tagging the art as "non-coupling" because they didnt believe me. They got the context and decided I was trying to hide a fetish because a kiss on the cheek was "obviously shippy". They proceeded to compare this to drawing NSFW of Mob and Reigen by labelling it "non-ship" as if it was comparable to tucking a child into bed, that's what upset me. I did absolutely nothing to these people, I dont know them, if they said this privately I wouldnt care but it was public, and they also targeted another friend of mine for no reason.

All Im gonna say is that my drawing shouldnt have caused this much controversy in the first place. I labeled it "non-coupling" as soon as I posted it, which should've been enough honestly. It's not like I posted porn or anything like that, I got the idea from something Ive experienced in my family as a teenager and I could easily google stock images of the exact same scenario to use as reference, like I really didnt think it was that bad.

Anyways I think I've explained myself many times already. Im not gonna be hostile and say to people "roh t9awed dont ever send me anything else related to this" but just.. check if Ive already answered your question so that it doesnt end up being repetitive. If you have a question about this that I havent answered yet, then feel free to ask.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

to ex-radfems:

hey! i didn't realize there was so many of y'all here on tumblr! I'll be honest, I'm not sure what to say about it, because, well, I thought we were much fewer and further between.

I think there are a few things worth saying, though.

Here's a resource for you. In addition, while I don't participate in discourse too often, I'm happy to provide perspective to good-faith questions, and to learn from you and what you've picked up along your journey.

I am proud of you for your growth. This is a really difficult thing - radical feminism targets vulnerable people who aren't equipped with the tools to understand its many issues. I hesitate to call any political system a cult, but as a cult survivor myself, there are parallels.

I know that the guilt is difficult. I was relatively harmless as a TERF since I rarely spoke up about it, but what little I did perpetuate, I regret. The things I've done in the name of beliefs that held me instead of me holding them still haunt me, radfem-related or not.

You are not alone. This is important.

Some people will not forgive you. Some people cannot forgive you. You may have trouble forgiving yourself. It's okay. It takes time, and what's most important is that you're here now, and you understand how to move forwards.

This is a safe space for former/deconverting radfems. I block easily, because I need to keep this a safe space for myself as well, but I want you to know that I'm going to do my best to make this space open to people who are willing to learn.

Honestly, at this rate, I might make a sideblog about being a former radfem - I'll add it to my pinned post if I do.

Anyways. I share some of this experience with you. I know it can be difficult, coming to terms with both your past and what this means for the future. I know it takes work. I know.

Most importantly, it's going to be okay.

[stormysapphic]

[disclaimer: i have no intention to hurt anyone's feelings or start fights with this post! i would, however, really like it if people of any and all viewpoints on this topic commented on it and shared their thoughts with me in good faith! thanks. <3] i've been thinking about "bi lesbianism" lately - not in terms of whether i'm "for it or against it", because i frankly don't think it's my place to say. and because ultimately i have no problem with someone i don't even know identifying as a bi lesbian if that's truly the combination of words that they feel best describes the complexity of their experiences. but i also think that piling labels upon labels in an attempt to fully encompass something that'll never be fully dissected and simplified anyway - sexuality is complex for everyone in one way or another - is a futile attempt and not really how labels work in wider queer communities outside your super insulated discourse bubble anyway. understand that, while you're out here on tumblr fighting tooth and nail explaining to people why you're valid, there are already bi women out there in the real world who go to lesbian support groups and call themselves lesbians in that context and no one cares. there are wlw who think they probably have some sort of attraction to men but never want to date one so they call themselves lesbians and no one cares. there are wlw who aren't attracted to men but are in long term partnerships with them and therefore identify with the bi community and are welcomed there. and i've seen some people use all of that as an example for why identifying as a bi lesbian is logical and without issue, but i kind of feel the exact opposite. like, we already get that bi and pan for example are overlapping labels and someone chooses which one they use based on their preference and the (social, political...) situation they're in. we don't need you to say you're Bi-Pan, we'll get it from the context. in my mind, that has always also applied to the overlapping of lesbian and bi experiences. in addition, i see many of the people in the mspec lesbian/gay circles say stuff like "sexuality is fluid and not binary or clear-cut" but then treat their own labels as if they're all static identities. shouldn't that philosophy of fluidity and complexity make it easier than most to understand that you can go to the lesbian support group wearing the label lesbian & then go back home to your (male) boyfriend and exist under the bi label? and in the same way, understand that calling yourself a lesbian right after mentioning you're dating a man doesn't really make sense? because i can assure you that in the wider world of queer communities no one minds. when my friend says "i love being a lesbian" even though they're technically bi and usually identify as such, or i say "i'm a lesbian but also kind of a guy", people understand. but if my friend was pushing semantic arguments like "actually, lesbians who are attracted to men exist and here's why" at the lesbian support group meeting, or if i were to write on my dating profile that my gender is male and my sexuality is lesbian, sure, that would confuse and frustrate people & understandably so, imo. and if the reason you use a million different labels at once is bc it makes you feel connected to yourself and your identity and community, more power to you, honestly! i'm seeing more and more dykefags and fagdykes lately, so why not bi lesbians too, i guess. but i hope you know that having words to describe every aspect of yourself isn't what makes your experiences valid or invalid.

[giantkillerjack]

Yo I don't know if anyone else is seriously bothered by this but those "good luck" posts where everyone goes wow this post really works you HAVE to reblog it or else you won't get the good thing that happens when you reblog it and therefore it's your fault if the good thing doesn't happen because you didn't reblog the post,

Yeah, those posts. They don't ummmmmmmmm

They don't work.

Like, listen, a little prayer of good luck to give yourself hope is one thing, but every single one of these posts has a comment that is like "this is literally magic I received life-altering amounts of money because of this post REBLOG THIS NOW." And assuming these accounts aren't just also the original poster emotionally manipulating people - And brushing over how foolish/cruel it feels to give false hope and additional tasks to those in poverty AND moving on from how absolutely shitty these posts are for people with compulsion-related disorders or difficulty discerning reality--

it feels to me that the more we make up magic that doesn't exist in this world, the harder it is to see how things really are, and the more it obscures from us the magic that actually does exist. Things like magnetism, electricity, human thought and connection, emotion, storytelling, machinery, fire. That's the sort of magic we have in this world. These magics are real and they can be manipulated in miraculous and terrible ways.

And maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I am able to convince myself that a photo of a four-leaf clover has any amount of cosmic power over my life, then I am no longer looking clearly at my situation and what I need to do to change it. I am no longer able to truly see the magic that IS there.

I feel the same way about astrology honestly. I don't think it's bad to believe in as long as you're not ascribing it to unwilling people, but I personally do feel like if I believed the shapes the Romans saw in the stars made me who I am, then not only would I deny myself autonomy, but also I would miss out on the magic of the stars as huge lonely nuclear light giants indifferent to and ignorant of the lives of humans in terrifying and beautiful ways. I might even dismiss scientific discoveries that didn't fit my view. And I think I've seen enough of the damage that can do for one lifetime. (I am aware that I probably wouldn't have so many problems with astrology if I wasn't a furious ex-Catholic. But again, there's nothing wrong with faith as long as you're not slapping it onto other people.)

But, gods, I hate these fucking good luck posts.

I am not poor due to the stars or the lack of luck-money posts on my dashboard. I am poor because I live in oppressive power structures that I hope to see burn in my lifetime. I need as clear a view of this reality as possible.

If you want to spread positive magic, you have to spread love and information and images/stories of a beautiful shared future that other people are invited to be a part of.

I'm a big believer in Hope. I believe hope is a sacred thing. But I'm not a big fan of false hope.

So in conclusion, if you reblog this post and then tomorrow something very lucky and seemingly unrelated happens, it had nothing to do with this post.

The only Magic will be the magic of unfathomably huge amounts of data transferring all across the world instantaneously to reach you and show you words that came from someone else's heart and mind.

The only Magic will be however it makes you feel to know that if you need luck, at least one other person in this world wants good things to happen to you: I care that you are found. I care that you are loved. I care that you are safe. I care that you live long enough to find or be found by happiness and that you then live for a very long time after that. And I don't need to meet you to know that I'm right.

Know that I will spend the rest of my life working to build spaces where you would be welcome. And maybe you and I will never meet, but I happen to know there's a whole lot of people like me in this world. And I happen to know that as long as you are alive, there is a chance you will grow old in warmth and comfort, surrounded by friends. There is a chance that your old eyes will be crinkled at the sides with laugh lines. And that's magic. That's real magic.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi! Ok honestly I was going to find a more proper way to phrase this but can we just talk about Nagareboshi Kirari for a minute, and how it is 100% a love song from the perspective of Killua to Gon. I don’t see many people talking about it and it gets glossed over compared to some of the other endings but honestly it’s always been my favourite. The fact that nearly every single line is a direct reference to something Killua has been through with Gon is crazy, and with the “shooting star” references and implications, I don’t think it’s crazy to say that YUZU interpreted the manga the same way most of us shippers do, especially CAA. Idk, maybe I’m just crazy but this is something I’m almost 100% convinced of (like a lot of Killugon stuff in HxH I guess ha ha) but what are your thoughts?

Sorry for taking a bit to reply, I wanted to reply thoughtfully!

I definitely agree with you! I've read before that Yuzu re-read the entire manga before writing the songs they did for HxH, and also that they're big fans of the series to begin with, so I think it's fair to say that they wrote the songs they did with intention. Also, multiple people have pointed out that Nagareboshi Kirari uses wedding bells in it, which I mean, enough said. As big fans of the series, it would make sense that they see the (pretty clear) implications with Killua's feelings and they would include that in a song made for the series.

@hunterxhell also shared another song that Yuzu wrote around the same time period that may have been used for HxH if things had gone differently (I agree with this conclusion, it's too coincidental otherwise with the lyrics), and some other songs that they may have written with HxH in mind.

Honestly, the 2011 production is riddled with staff who have made romantic implications between Gon and Killua--from the director saying they're like a mature married couple, to Mariya Ise saying outright and extremely clearly that she thinks Killua is in love with Gon, Niuya, one of the animators for HxH 2011 would post KilluGon fanart on Twitter while it was airing (and published a doujin with shippy drawings included), and so on. Not to mention things like the Huncyclopedia kiss, ai-ai gasa, the episode previews during Chimera Ant arc, and more. These are all additions that didn't need to happen, they just as easily could have not included them. But they did!

The people who worked on the anime certainly studied the manga carefully--it's simply a big part of the process of adapting a manga to an anime, and especially with how faithful 2011 is to the manga (*overall, with some exceptions :p). I don't think it's a coincidence at all that many people looking at this manga carefully came to this conclusion. It's the same conclusion I've come to as well after years of carefully studying it and reading about Togashi and his inspirations/interviews/etc. The subtext is strong and clear and all over the place once you start looking for it, and a good portion of it isn't even subtext but just...text.

Anyway, I got on a bit of a tangent, but YES, I definitely think it's intentional and I absolutely think Yuzu wrote it with Killua's feelings in mind!

[grayintogreen]

Pinned Post II: Electric Boogaloo

Hi, I'm Chris! I'm updating my pinned post to be more streamlined so here we go.

I liveblog Critical Role every week and tag with "cr spoilers" up until Monday. This tag also gets used for Candela Obscura and any one-shots. Dimension 20 spoilers are labeled “d20 spoilers.”

This is primarily a Critical Role and Dimension 20 blog, but I contain multitudes. You will see a lot of random shit depending on my mood. I’m really into Hazbin Hotel right now, for example, so my blog is kinda inundated in that. Honestly I might as well admit I am also a Hazbin blog at this point. Sorry, women.

I write a lot of fic, which can be found on my AO3 here. I primarily write fic centered on minor/supporting characters. I'm also the author of the life in the margins of redemption and red roses and dead things series- more about these below.

I have a ko-fi if you'd like to give me a tip for any reason.

My two big series are as follows:

red roses and dead things (or Roseverse), a canon divergent Hazbin Hotel (goes AU after 1x06) series that deals with working on continuing the story while I wait for new material. It is lore-heavy, Team as Family, and redemption-focused with focus on Huskerdust, Alastor and his deal, Lucifer and his relationship to Heaven and Hell and his family, and Charlie continuing to pursue her dreams. Also contains significant amounts of Helluva Boss because we’re not beholden to copyright here.

life in the margins of redemption (or LitMoR), a For Want of a Nail CR2 Canon Divergent series, is a duology (with additional side stories) that takes the alternate path outlined in the Harvest's Close session notes- Cree rescuing the Nein from the Gentleman's wrath should they betray him- and takes it a step further with Cree reviving Molly on the Glory Run Road and traveling with the Nein in the hopes of finding a way to bring Lucien back. It is extremely Canon Divergent, but does feature CR2 plots under radically different circumstances and with additional characters. It's worldbuilding heavy, character-driven, often dark, but has a guaranteed happy ending. You may heard of it as "that 1.5 million word fanfic series."

It is not canon compliant with TNEOL as I had finished OUADYA before TNEOL came out. While I use some elements from the novel, the backstory presented for Lucien and the Tombtakers in the series is entirely different.

More details, including links to the fics, beneath the cut.

THE MAIN STORIES.

Note that while the series features Fjorester, Beauyasha, and Widomauk as primary ships, it is above all a gen fic that focuses on the platonic relationships even more than the romantic ones. I cannot in good faith rec this fic to you if you HATE any of those ships, but I can say if you're indifferent/just want a plot and platonic relationship focus, this fic will appeal to you.

once upon a damn-you-all. Cree saves Molly on the Glory Run Road, sending the Nein's trajectory off the rails in a story about redemption, change, fate, and team-building. Also Molly having to contend with the Somnovem.

you can't deny high noon. The Nein continue their journey with an additional member- a reluctant, captive Lucien- as they continue to face numerous challenges while enemies lurk in the background. While OUADYA is mostly original plotlines, this fic follows the majority of the major plot beats of canon albeit a bit twisted around and out of order.

THE SIDE STORIES

While not necessary to read in order to understand the main duology, I feel like not reading them causes a loss of impact, as often events/characters from them are referenced in the main narrative and having more perspective on the events adds more oomph. This is an extremely detail-oriented series and barely anything goes in without some thought put into it. For the sake of not overwhelming my audience, I'm only listing the side stories I think are actually important to the overall narrative, but please do read the others if you have the time.

there's something divine in the way screams can sound. The events of OUADYA as seen through the eyes of someone trapped in the Astral Sea- or Lucien's utter breakdown, now with context. Introduces several backstory elements that become super relevant in YCDHN.

as in the painted parlor, ophelia dreams. The story of how Ophelia came to the Run, became a Mardoon, and gave up her son.

all of the dreamers defying convention. A fic that takes place in the two month gap between the two duology stories and bridges the two narratives.

OTHER LINKS

original character guide. A guide to the many original characters featured in the series.

[dichromaticdyke]

skwisgaar feminism word salad response anon on another tangent again !! (is 💉 taken for an anon sign off? didn’t see so in ur beloved anon tag but i’ll be usin’ that for ease of communication on both ends)

regarding the shows take on gender: i definitely agree in the sense that it has a lot to say about gender, as well as the take of “deliberate critique of misogyny” vs “the show kinda also sucked with women” co-existing statements!!! i think in this case it just makes the internalized misogynistic fandom space behavior so much… worse in that sense, though? yes, the show did suck with women and their focuses, but with the show’s critique of celebrity + metal culture thus lending dethklok to view women of objects… it just feels like when the fandom discounts women in the show just as easily, it’s falling into the same trap dethklok does and i would argue that gets into the whole other issue of glorifying dethklok despite the fact they’re portrayed (initially, anyway) in a sort of always sunny in philadelphia “don’t be like this” way. which then turns the fans into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts but that is a WHOLE other tangent-

either way, it’s disheartening to watch at times.

as for depth of the show vs sometimes it’s not that deep, even for how the fans react:

1. i adore ur analyses please continue having these fits of divine madness

2. i agree sometimes it’s not that deep! sometimes fans just want to watch two guys kiss! and that’s okay!

and i definitely agree that people don’t leave their implicit biases at the door when entering fandom (and i am forever grateful you do not leave your gender studies degree at the door either; truthfully, i would not feel so open critiquing the fandom with any other creator, as your perspective is inherently unique due to a variety of factors)

but i guess my whole perspective is… yeah, it feels a lot like there’s a portion of the fandom that doesn’t work on their inherent internalized misogyny, even on tumblr, which goes back to your post regarding skwisgaar finding all women beautiful and how his willingness to sleep with fat and elderly women has become a joke to many. of course, it also gets into fatphobia, lookism, and ageism, which honestly the ageism confuses me considering most folks are also thirsting after literal middle aged cartoon men but i suppose in their minds it’s different because they’re men and “not geriatric” or something.

in the latter case: cowards, all of them, as there is an inherent beauty to aging (and skwisgaar would agree)

-💉

(also im sorry for word vomiting in your inbox AGAIN there’s so many thoughts and not enough words but like ily and everything you do for the fandom. ur brain is galaxy level always)

ehehe don't apologize dear! i'm honored and proud that i've created a space where people do feel comfortable to talk to me about feminism and lesbianism despite the overwhelming focus on men within this community (again, understandable given the context of the show, but it doesn't make it any less exhausting sometimes).

i don't really have much to say in addition to this, you hit so many points i agree with! i remember some mtl creators talking about how if you can't meaningfully recognize where the show is satirizing oppressive thoughts and behaviors and instead reinforce those behaviors through your own actions, then you're not mature enough to be engaging with the show, and that's pretty much my stance on it! again, as we've mentioned, there will always be people who don't unpack all their internalized biases, and it's very easy to let those slip through even in good faith, but that's basically the viewpoint i have.

dethklok can be genuinely awful people sometimes, and we're not meant to agree with them on everything, and we have to remember that. as much as they've become massive comfort characters to me, i would guillotine all five of them irl.

[cha-melodius]

Fic Rec Friday

this week's theme is: a fic that surprised you OR a fic with a great twist

tag the fic that surprised you and / or a fic with a great twist and describe why it's so good. then tag some fellow associates to see what everyone else is reading. the broader the fandoms the better and don't be shy to rec older fics! make sure to tag #fic rec friday or @welcometololaland so that she can compile the masterlist.

Thanks for the additional tag @rmd-writes!

So I LOVE a good twist. I'm also kind of picky about twists, so I kinda had to think about this one. 😂

RWRB: to the victor, the spoils by @rmd-writes Ok, I KNOW Lola put this in her original post, but honestly I couldn't choose another one. This is a really really well done twist, the kind where when you go back and read it a second time you see how it was all THERE if you know to look for it.

TMFU: This War Against Your Faith by Ingu Honestly this one was a tough pick because it's been quite a long time since I read a lot of the fics in this fandom and none of my bookmarked faves are particularly twisty? Which is funny because you'd think there'd be so many twists. But I decided to go with this one because there is a great twist midway through, and it's psychologically very interesting reading as well as a great exploration of their relationship. A word of warning: the sequel to this is a (probably abandoned) WIP that ends on a pretty brutal cliffhanger, but the first work stands on its own as well.

Loki: Low-Key Coffee by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive This was such an excellent mind-bender, and I loved seeing how it unfolded chapter by chapter. The little hints sprinkled about, the way things wove into canon and the MCU at large, all the characters... it works so well.

And if you'll permit me a little indulgent shameless self-promotion, I do so love writing twists in my own fics, so I thought I'd share what is probably my very favorite one (you don't have to include this in the roundup Lola, I just couldn't resist lol):

The Hardest Cut (Loki)—aka the bodyguard AU. I just love how this plot came out, pretty tight and snappy, and I think the twist shocked the highest percentage of readers with this one. 😅

Tagging @cricketnationrise, @orchidscript, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @jazzerdoc, @14carrotghoul, @xthelastknownsurvivorx, @three-drink-amy, @wolfpup026, @athousandrooms, and once again, literally everyone reading this. I wanna hear about your recs!

[bethanydelleman]

Hi ☺️

Your addition to a post just appeared on my dash (the one with “We don't have a good Mansfield Park adaptation, but Hayley Atwell was the perfect Mary Crawford”), so I obviously had to ask, even though I haven’t read the book yet:

What made the adaptations bad for you, what points did they miss completely? (I don’t mind spoilers, by the way.)

I may not be the best person to ask because I've watched them all once and probably never will again... But here we go.

The 1983 mini is actually a pretty good adaptation, it's biggest problem is being dated. And it feels pretty dated, more than say 1995 P&P. I also have some issues with the casting, but generally a good job. Kudos for Henry Crawford not being hot (as he isn't supposed to be in canon). I don't love the Edmund or Mary Crawford.

1999 is a good movie but a terrible adaptation. Fanny is presented as Jane Austen, she's even writing Austen's juvinellia. The story doesn't work if she's not timid! They turned Sir Thomas into a straight up villain, not a complex character. Having Fanny accept Crawford was nuts and because she never explained herself, it doesn't come off well. It has so many problems... the worst thing for me is Henry Crawford looking right at the camera during the affair scene 😬 Also they deleted William Price!!!

2007 has a perfect Mary Crawford, as I said but the rest of the cast... Fanny is not frail but buxom and bouncy (love Billie Piper as Rose Tyler btw, but she's not Fanny Price). Edmund looks like a vampire, Henry is too hot, and the Bertrams aren't blonde which is something I never seem to get (it's in the book, come on!). There is no Portsmouth scene, the ball is a picnic, and really it's just way too short to do the story justice.

Also, I watched about half of the web series From Mansfield With Love, I thought it was a decent modernization but I think I wrote a whole post about the issues I personally had with it. It's also amateur so I don't want to be too harsh. Honestly, I'm grateful it was made because Mansfield Park doesn't get a lot of love.

I just want a faithful new miniseries with a perfect cast is that too much to ask? Please?

Edit: I want to add, if you love any of these adaptations I'm not saying to stop or that you're stupid, they just don't work for me.

[seirclys]

HIIII HELLOOOO IT'S BEEN AWHILE

I have so many questions but never got to ask you cuz guess what i am gonna go to collage soon

But that aside, here are the questions, now updated after your 4 part posts about OG!Penny and Shrike!Penny

The revived butterfly in the fic, it was presumed dead by Penelope, but after she removed the webs and turned around and walked back, it twitched meaning that it's still alive.

We know that butterflies symbolize life, death, and metamorphosis. But what of a "revived" butterfly?

Well not like revived, more like presumed dead but is actually still alive.

I've dug a little deeper (not that deep) about a butterfly's symbolism, it can also represent hope and faith.

Soooo, assuming you go with that too, does a still living butterfly that was thought to be dead meant there's still some—albeit very very slim chance to me—hope left for her even though it didn't seem like it?

As for the faith part, I really don't see that fit anywhere. She lost all faith in gods, the Eckharts and the MLs so, yeah.

And, and, Cassian,

I went thru the comments and you said he is gay and a sad boy.

Does he ever have romantic feelings for one of Penny's brothers?? Or is he sad about Penelope just pushing and burning herself out again that her health is just- shit. Like when she was still small and within her Empire?

One more question, I remember that Penelope said(?) that the Second Prince faction would pay for siding with Leila (memory fuzzy here but i remember it mostly)

Will she do it in the Eternal Ataraxia? Along with the Eckharts? :Eyes:

Probably not but, just curious.

ahh welcome back!

unfortunately, I've hit a bit of a roadblock with Shrike. It's the sad reality of having grand plans for a fic and then life chucking a brick at your window with you right next to it. It'll become a backburner fic, probably, but I really, really hope that it doesn't die off in my mind, even with the lack of interest it generally has. I'm glad you still love it enough to reread <3

I'm also going to college soon, so you aren't alone in the hectic mess.

I'm still churning out some of the OG! Penelope headcanon posts! a bit stuck on part 5, and the series might get added onto later if I ever get new ideas.

(I'm actually churning these out for a self-indulgent crossover I've been chatting about on Discord but shhhh)

Ooh, the butterfly was a while ago. I honestly forgot about it, but yes, it was meant to be a sort of rekindled hope, but also to symbolize someone. I had the idea for Rheiana to have butterfly powers similar to Roxana, but more like a butterfly-human hybrid but scrapped the butterfly part.

And... RIGHT ON THE MONEY! Cassian had feelings for one of Penelope's brothers. It won't be a big plot point in the story, so I'll just tell you now. He was in a semi-secret romantic relationship with Adrastus, Penelope's second brother. If you remember, Adrastus was also the brother that died in Penelope's arms, just like her mother.

hnnh bodyguard-prince relationship trope

In addition, he is pretty sad about how self-destructive Penelope is, especially since he feels like he has an obligation to take care of her in Adrastus's absence(the two of them were really in love with each other, and although there were talks of Adrastus marrying out for political ties, they were devoted to each other). He believes that it's his fault that Penelope was lost in the first place, that she became so reckless even as a child.

As for the Second Prince's faction, since they aren't as traumatically significant to Penelope as the Eckharts are, I was thinking of an end that was less horrific, but more public.

And for the "sheer clothing" in my OG!Penelope hcs series, it's actually not referring to Hanfu! Shrike!Penelope's culture/the Ancient Wizards were influenced by different IRL cultures(with how I mentioned that dimension travel is a THING that they used to do), which is why I mentioned Hanfu since China was one of the big ancient empires.

I'm thinking more manhwa-sheer, as in, like. Roxana(yep, here we go again), her sheer overskirts and sleeves. Maybe some more modern dress styles. Think haute couture. Sheer cutouts, satins, etc. Lots and lots of lace and netting.

Glad to see you in my notifications and my inbox again <3 keep yourself safe and healthy(super ironic since this dumbass just recovered from her 1st Covid... as in Sunday. I only tested negative SUNDAY.) edit: i forgot i queued this but dw kids I've been covid free for two days

[findmeinshattrath]

The War Within and the Worldsoul Saga Reveal

Some thoughts on the new expansion(s)

Not my favorite cinematic, but I liked it for the most part. Appreciated the more calm and intimate approach. Dialogue could have been better at some points though.

Anduin is a little generic looking for my tastes. He doesn't look bad, I just feel like you could toss him into most fantasy settings and he would fit. It's a very default protagonist look. Honestly, also reminds me a bit of the Warrior of Light they use in FF14 cinematics.

Alleria's going to look damn good though

Would not have guessed we'd be going all Journey to the Center of the Earth, but I AM FEELING IT!

The Shadow Priest's ex-knife returns and I am for it! Can't help but love the "edge of a knife" line in the trailer

All the new zones look damn interesting

Eager for the Nerubians, love those guys and I am expecting some friendlies. Somewhat mixed feelings on the look of the "evolved" Nerubians, but I like them overall

Isle of Dorn is intriguing. I love the Earthen and was expecting Titan-forged based on lore tidbits we've seen, so nothing shocking. Really enjoy the look of their buildings, it's a great take on the Dwarven aesthetic. Little bummed we don't seem to be getting anything that looks like the Northrend & Deepholm Earthen stuff.

New gryphons look dope

Earthen as an allied race is unexpected but very welcome! Would not have guessed they'd be neutral, but I am very grateful for that. May not be the most unique addition Alliance-wise, but seeing them in the Horde really gets me. Will probably elaborate on why in a later post.

Like the gemstones and SHOCKED Blizz actually gave the female Earthen beard options (love to see it)

Disappointed but not surprised that they don't get druids. Come on! Vrykul have them! Plus, could have had an Eonar connection

Ringing Deeps will probably be cool, but it kind of excites me the least for now. Do love the whole "underground cavern, pierced with sunlight from above, covered in plant life" thing though

Hallowfall caught me the most off guard

Underground neutral human civilization, descended from the Arathi, big light crystal, underground sea of monsters, air ships, Holy Fire, intense (and potentially dangerous, at least for us) faith in the Light. Goddamn. Might really have something here.

I am always in favor of potentially exploring different human cultures outside of the Alliance. That said, kind of a bummer that it's just another flavor of fantasy Europe like we always get.

Dragonriding coming to other mounts was expected, but nice to get confirmation

Hero Talents are very intriguing. Looking forward to seeing if they pull them off. If nothing else, the archetypes that come out of it will probably be fun to mess around with. A lot of the classes don't really have super unique "Hero archetypes" firmly established, so it'll be fun to see what they come up with.

Announcing 3 expansions at once is pretty ambitious, gotta say

Going back to Quel'Thalas to defend the Sunwell is gonna be cool. Lots they could do story and world-building wise.

Gryphon mount now, maybe dragonhawk next?

Curious and nervous about how Zul'Aman might fit into things (I'm really worried that they'll end up allied with the Void or just flat out destroyed)

Since we're probably going to kick Titan ass, I hope at least Eonar ends up on our side.

I wonder how Sargeras will fit into it

When I first saw the thing about warbands, I thought we were getting some sort of interactive companions/party members, like an evolution from followers and champions. Account wide stuff is nice though.