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wanda-peitro-lorna-maximoff · 4 years ago

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Writing some Morgana/Mab content. For context this is set in the toa universe, but Mab in the mythos is queen of the fae. Everything else will be explained in the fic. Also Thanks to @aethling for letting me talk about headcannons for these Wlw's...

Also thanks to tumblr for DELETING THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF OF THIS AND MAKING ME REWRITE IT FUCK

The sunset was a sight to behold. A beautiful... terrible gift on today of all days. It felt like a dagger in Morganas heart. That very morning her and gwen had gone out... she had planned the whole day. Beginning to end. They would have been watching this very sunset. They were going to sit at the very spot she did now. On the cliff overlooking the coast. Listening to the waves crash on the beach and the gulls high above it... A sleepy guinevere would have been on her shoulder... and Morgana wouldnt have even noticed the scene. Gwen rivaled the very sun its self.... and then it happened.

Her brother... when her brother heard the news... he was devastated. The whole kingdom was. And maybe it was stupid of her to believe her brother would grieve with her... but she did. And now, Arthur wouldnt even speak to her.

... well, unless you count shouting and screaming. Morgana got plenty of that.

Arthur's words, and the brief, disappointing glances from Merlin... well, she assumed they were. She hadn't seen the wizard much since that morning...

As her mind drifted from the subject of her brother... a new wave of sadness hit her. Arthur's words, and the brief, disappointing glances from Merlin... well, she assumed they were. She hadn't seen the wizard much since that morning...

As she sat, she couldnt help but let her mind wander to the what ifs and the maybes. Maybe if she had known more healing spells. Maybe if she had known more binding spells. Maybe then neither her, or the creature, would have to be hurt. She would bind the poor thing and save Gwen. Maybe if she had been faster... or stronger... maybe she could have saved her... gwen was pronounced dead on arrival. It was all her fault.

Her throat grew tight... Morgana hugged herself, shutting her eyes and looking away from the sunset. Taking deep breaths, morgana forced herself up. She needed a break from the neverending crying. Itd given her a migraine. The nausea that came from the mix of pain guilt was terrible. She needed this. She needed this.

Morganas mind was free to wander as she walked closer to the wild wood. That place. The place of her dreams, the longing to be there... every late night spent with gwen and every lunch with her brother... every rock and stone skipped in the rivers... the memories cut deep. Morgana hugged herself tighter, biting her lip as it trembled uncontrollably. Her shoulders tensed... Sweet guinevere. Her gwen. Every day spent together, every hushed word and hurried promises lived in her. And it all came pouring out.

The witch finally collapsed to her knees in a sigh and a choked, quiet cry. She was trying to hold it together. To tell herself what no one else was going to... that she would be okay. But that notion was drowned out by her tears and the honeyed memories...

Morgana hadn't realized how vocal her crys had been until she felt a cold hand on her shoulder... a familiar sensation. And yet it did nothing to quell her.

The queen of the fae herself, Mab... happened upon the sobbing Morgana. She'd never seen her in such a state.

And although it had been a few years since theyd last saw eachother... it left Mab feeling unsettled to see her in this state. Without a word, the forest bent around them in a dizzying soft green blink. The threshold did not belong to her. She couldnt be there... so she took Morgana to her home. The magic of the fae... especially one in possession of a forest... was confusing and powerful. Noone could enter her home unless she wanted them to. And she could make them leave just as fast as she had brought Morgana. And if they were to ignore her gracious restraint she would be taking payment of trespassing into her own hands.

... the faeries were wise not to question their queen. And wiser to leave as soon as they saw whom she had brought.

Mab crouched to Morganas spot on the ground. She put her forehead to Morganas... an intimate gesture.

The coolness against Morganas flushed face was a welcome sensation. She didnt know what to say... or where to begin. And it didnt matter. Mab understood. "I know. I could feel their grief." Morgana only cried more at those words.

Mab cupped her face. Intricate rings, vines and twigs twisted up and around her graceful slim fingers. "I know." She held her forehead against Morganas.

But Morgana couldnt help but feel... upset. She took Mabs hands away gently, but firmly. Morganas never been one for pity or sympathy... even now when she needed it. "Do not treat me like a child." She said with an edge of bitterness.

... so Mab obliged. "Then get up." She told the witch, helping her to her feet. "You're here now. I will be here. And we will mourn her together." She held Morganas hands, looking at her seriously. Morgana didnt say a word. But she accepted it. And she was thankful...

Mab let her into the great natural gathering amongst the tree branches that she called her 'room'. Morgana knew it well. Mab set her down on a natural formation of a couch... it was a lot more human than the very first time theyd met. Mab had only a bed of leaves. Now it was fully furnished; though made entirely of nature however.... except for the vanity which was comprised of nature and the precious gems, rings and necklaces people left her in offerings of peace.

Mab took her time. She was having one of her people make tea for Morgana as she got ready.

Morgana was the only human alive that that has ever seen Mab this way... her royal ethereal look had melted away, the greenery that made her long dress, cloak, crown, all of it was gone. Now replaced with what one might call, pajamas or casual wear. It was vulnerable. It was dangerous for her to leave her royal formalities behind. Status and symbols were everything to the fae...

She sat next to Morgana once her people left the tea outside of her room, passing Morgana a 'cup'. The witch took a sip and let the steam roll over her face like a soothing balm. Her nausea was being treated by sweetener... the herbs taking care of her headache. She recognized the flavor; one of the many types of little natural remedies she picked up with her and Gwen.

As the queen of the fae undid Morganas hair, she began to speak. "... you didnt need to come and get me."

"If I didnt you would have passed out from exhaustion. Between crying and walking all the way to my forest." Mab insisted firmly as she gently set aside the ribbons that tied down the witches hair.

Morgana didnt have anything to say to that. "How did she die?" ... she choked up a bit at this. But... it needed to be said. She had to say it... she needed to talk about it.

And as Mab brushed and gently combed through Morganas hair... she told her everything. The day she planned... start to finish, the planning they both did, and how... short their time was cut. There was a small silence between them when Morgana finished... hot tears rolled down her face. But somehow? Just to have Mab there... took some of that sting away.

"You loved her." Mab stated... only pausing in her work to state this and look for Morganas reaction. Once upon a time... Morgana and Mab had been together. But the less time she was allowed out of the castle, and the more time she spent with Gwen... the more they grew apart. Mab was more upset than Morgana. But... it ended as well as it could have. Gwen was there in a way that Mab just... couldnt be. "... she was my everything."

Mab didnt know that would sting. She thought after all this time it had died, but hearing Morganas heart belonged to Gwen... it hurt. But it didnt matter. Morgana needed her.... shes never felt this way for anyone before. This sense of... generosity? Was that the word? Wanting morgana to be okay? Needing to be there for her? ... "I'm sorry I wasnt there." She said, just above a whisper. Morgana leaned back into Mabs touch, burying her nose into the crook Mabs neck and closing her eyes. Mab turned her face so that she could rest the side of her head on Morganas; holding hands as Mab gently weaved her fingers through the bottom of Morganas long hair.

A moment to breathe...

#tales of arcadia #wlw morgana #morgana #mab #queen mab #toa #toawizards #trollhunters #wizards #magical #fanfic #more to come?#mab/morgana

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key-slam · 3 years ago

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Late posting again bcos i was tired last night (sorry to my dear fans that were disappointed by not having a post to read yesterday)

July 18th 2021

Woke up without a headache, very thankful for that. Got ready for work. When I got there the computer i clocked in on said happy birthday but it used my deadname. It was really busy today. Mostly old people or people who were at pride or old people who were at pride. Met some deaf people which really made me wish that I had been able to learn sign language like my cousins did. Inner city schools never offer sign language. Ill learn it one day. We had another catering order but I wasn't there for when it was cooked. I just did some of the sides. I made myself a churro which absolutely fucked. When i clocked out the computer did the thing again and i yelled ew when i saw my deadname. When i got home my plans to play minecraft with my friends fell through. It was my fault though. I didnt express why I wanted to play with them plus i only let them know a few days before, and its not like I could change their schedule either. I mean it was fine, I can play minecraft with them any day. I guess it just hurt a little because it was my birthday lol. My grandma said she was gonna call me when i got off work but since my phones shitty i didnt get a notif. I just watched youtube alone for most of the day. My family went to menards without me. I would've loved to go but I was still under the impression that my friends were gonna play minecraft lol. They still got me a monster though. I started to get a headache which sucked but is was minor compared to the last couple i had. But i was very nauseous so that sucked. My dad got me a laptop, its not refurbished this time so thats good. Its way smaller than my current one but it looks like it has a better screen so hopefully I dont get washed out colours while drawing. Oh yeah i forgot to say that i finished my art on the phone w spike. I think its one of my best pieces. I may post it with some things blacked out. My sister didnt get me anything but thats my fault cause i never sent her a link to the flag i wanted. I dont even want a pride flag. Idk why i told her that. Maybe ill get a different flag, like for another musician. My bday cake sucked. Its okay but the frosting is too sweet for me. I dont like cake so idk why i got one. My mom called asking abt my grandma, apparently she did call but y'know because of my phone i didnt get it. She yelled at me. The whole time she was saying she wasnt but Sydney could here her through the phone. I dont know why shes like this. I cried. After that i just got a wave of depression and dysphoria. Dissociation started and lasted the rest of the night, sucked real bad. My night continued being shitty but several of my partners sent me nudes so that was banger. Horny dysphoria loophole lol. I called w kory but it was past midnight so we only texted. This wasn't necessarily the worst birthday ive had but y'know at this point i cant really rank them anymore. Especially after 2019. I guess this year really made me miss moss. I know we're still friends but i dont think theyd be comfortable hanging out with me. Idk, life just sucks lol.

#july 18th 2021 #journaling #daily journal

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kiruuuuu · 6 years ago

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Doc/Lion oneshot in which Lion absolutely can’t get enough of Doc. (Rating E, pure filth + fluff, ~4k words) - written for the ever so wonderful 1ce_09 on twitter ♥♥ Everyone who hasn’t already, check them out for beautiful Siege art! Thank you so much for commissioning me, I enjoyed myself :)

If anyone had asked Lion a year – hell, months – ago which part of the day was his least favourite, he would’ve said waking up. Throughout his life, the only consistently good thing staying with him has been how easily he falls asleep and his ability to only wake up once fully rested; he sometimes thinks it’s a genuine blessing he received, a rare show of mercy of which he’s ultimately undeserving. Even when his mind worked overtime, even when there was an oppressive weight on his soul, even when there was no reason to get up in the morning, he drifted off like a lazy, oversized house cat napping in the sun. In rare moments, he idly wonders whether this ability hasn’t saved his life at some point, granted him this little bit of energy he needed to get through the day, gave him enough hope to trudge on and eventually sparked his endeavour to make it up to those he wronged.

And then there are his dreams. They’ve always been vivid, abstract, hard to grasp, but as a child he could always pinpoint at least a location or a person, something concrete which gave him an indication of what was on his mind at the time. After – after Claire, after colourful pills and pieces of paper with cartoon characters on them and a few other things, his nightly visions became even more obscure, swirls of colour, evoking emotions whose vibrancy stays with him in this twilight between waking and sleeping, a half-doze in which he’s disembodied yet conscious. He enjoys their embrace and despised nothing more than the afterimages being violently ripped away from him by a shrill alarm.

These days, he doesn’t mind it so much. The reason for his change of mind is as fortunate as it is unbelievable because of all its facets no one could’ve predicted, especially not him: It’s someone he loves (and he’d given up on this particular idea a while ago). It’s a man (and while he’s fooled around with some of his friends before, it was largely born from spite and the thrill of the forbidden). And of all people, it’s Doc.

It took him months to come to terms with the realisation that his infuriating colleague never really left his thoughts because of a fierce desire to impress him, not because of personal dislike. Doc is revered wherever he treads and when Lion earned his ire, it was much easier to pretend the negativity dictating Lion’s remorseless remarks and actions towards the other man stemmed from disdain and not disappointment in himself, not from a knee-jerk reaction to the realisation that Doc would never see him as an equal now.

It took him even longer to finally act on it too, reach out and attempt to rebuild the bridge Doc had destabilised and which Lion had spitefully burned in response; it required endless conversations with Bertrand as well as the rest of the GIGN, a worrisome amount of self-reflection, and uncomfortable, tough admissions.

But he managed. Looking back, it’s amazing how much he turned his life around, how much he achieved with the help of those around him and indubitably help from above, and he’s humble enough to try and let his gratitude shine through in everything he does these days.

He even learnt to enjoy waking up. Though admittedly it wasn’t difficult, no, not at all, not when he knows he’ll have company, be greeted with a smile and a kiss, a brief update on global events, a cup of coffee just how he likes it. And so instead of hitting the snooze button on his phone several times, tossing and turning, dreading the beginning of yet another day, he wakes with a serenity he never thought he could achieve.

This morning, his heart feels even lighter than normal and it doesn’t take long to figure out why: there’s a warm body next to his. Doc prefers getting up early, always prefers being prepared no matter what and possesses the inhuman ability to sleep without an alarm and be on time anyway – but rarely, on one of their days off, he allows himself to sleep in, much to Lion’s delight.

Smiling to himself, he rolls on his side to dazedly blink at the spectacular view in front of him and really, Doc has no business being this gorgeous this early in the day. He’s stretched out on his stomach – and he’s the only person Lion has met who sleeps this way –, head turned away from Lion, explaining his constant neck pains, and smooth skin illuminated by the rays falling in through the blinds, painting long stripes on his naked back.

Lion doesn’t want to disturb the image yet reaches out regardless, runs his fingertips over shoulder blades jutting out, the dip of his lower back, relaxed muscles, and reaches the blanket covering Doc from the hips downwards. He should let him sleep. Really, he should, but with every centimetre more that’s revealed, Lion’s interest rises. He takes his time, pauses when he hears his lover take a deep breath and proceeds when it evens out again. Slowly, surely, he reveals plump curves and more soft skin, and then his gaze falls on the discoloured spots on the back of Doc’s thighs and the almost languorous desire playfully swaying in the back of his mind suddenly gets shoved to the very forefront, makes his heart skip a beat and his crotch throb.

Memories from the previous evening come flooding back, the end of a tedious work day necessitating some kind of release – they’d started as soon as they set foot into their apartment, Lion crowding his lover against the door and licking every bit of composure off his tongue, then wandering deeper with his hungry mouth and swallowing him whole, something he’s come to love, provided he can watch Doc’s features dissolve into helpless want while sucking on him, hard. He took his time, did so for the rest too, left Doc aching and fingered him open over the couch until he was flushed and flustered and even more beautiful, took him standing up until his legs gave in, relocated to the kitchen table, eventually landed in bed where he finished them both off with merciless snaps of his hips, listening to Doc’s desperate whines and floating on pure ecstasy.

The bruises are remnants, and now he also feels the scratches on his back again which he didn’t let the other man see, angled his body so he wouldn’t notice the damage he’s done – he usually feels bad about leaving marks though Lion can never get enough. It’s one of the many small disagreements about which they half-heartedly argue and neither of them is ready to budge, but more often than not they end with a hand in someone’s hair or quick kisses. There’s more, now that he knows where to look, Doc’s ass cheeks themselves are still tinted red and the lovebites Lion sucked onto his ribs remain perfectly visible as well.

Maybe he should add a few.

Moving carefully, he removes the blanket entirely, admires Doc’s shapely legs for a moment and then kneels between them, intending no more than to touch the sleeping beauty a little, but as soon as his palms come to rest on firm flesh, a different thought makes his cock twitch in anticipation. Doc is perfectly on display like this, the hills and valleys of his body enticing in a way that Lion wants nothing more than mould himself around them, and he decides to appreciate it all by waking Doc with something more… personal than simply covering him in hickeys.

Thumbs pull the cheeks apart a little, exposing a pink hole which looks overwhelmingly inviting to Lion, a hole he abused to his heart’s content the previous evening and so it’s only appropriate for him to make up for the rough treatment, isn’t it? He leans forward and gingerly circles the rim with the tip of his tongue, starting feather-light and increasing the intensity slowly, intersperses it with broad laps and has to suppress a moan when he feels the ring of muscle pulsing in response. He’s felt similar contractions around his shaft so many times before and the association is all he needed for a full, heavy erection – especially when he remembers Doc’s usual, elated expression whenever he climaxes.

The hips beneath his hands shift a little, and a foot lifts, powerless, and when he pushes the tip of his tongue inside, Doc lets out a sleepy groan. “Really?”, he mumbles into the sheets but makes no move to stop Lion. “Didn’t we do enough yesterday?”

He grins and forces himself a little deeper, eliciting a weak moan, before withdrawing for a reply: “Gustave, I can never have enough of you.” And to cut off any smart remark, he wiggles his tongue back inside and turns all of Doc’s protests into small, appreciative noises. Though his lover appears to be the voice of reason more often than not, he allows himself to get swept up by Lion’s passion all the time, mentioning work but riding him with abandon ten minutes later, scolding him for only thinking about one thing but asking him to come on his face the same day. Lion never minds initiating, not when this is the result: an increasingly aroused Doc meeting his mouth with subtle grinding, fisting the sheets and not even fully awake yet.

A curious finger proves Doc to be more than loose enough a few minutes later, and by this point they’re both panting and dizzy – and besides, Lion has always been more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ type, so he wastes no time in grabbing the lube strategically placed on the bedside table to pour a generous amount on his stiff cock, wincing a little at the cool, viscous liquid. A few strokes for good measure coat it sufficiently and the next moment he’s rubbing his tip over the very hole he licked open just now, felt it quiver around his tongue. The touch is electrifying and the fierce need pulsing through him urges him to give in, take what’s his, ensure his own pleasure.

But he waits. Bites his lip in impatience, pushes slightly against the entrance and shivers when he feels it give way a little, squeezes one of the buttcheeks he maltreated in the sweetest way possible last night – but he waits.

And then Doc meets him, lifts his hips to allow the head to slip inside and both of them gasp at the sudden surge of pleasure. Lion accepts this signal for what it is and begins the slow slide, pushes deeper and deeper into deliciously tight heat, feels Doc’s walls contract around his dick and only stops once he’s bottoms out. Since his lover usually requires a moment to adjust, Lion uses this time to not only focus on how fucking good he feels, but also to straddle the other man properly and lean down, cover him with his own body and place a few loving kisses on the top of his head.

“Other people wake their boyfriends with breakfast in bed”, Doc grumbles under him, now less bleary than before, but the hand he places next to Lion’s contradicts his words. He spreads his fingers and Lion interlaces them with his own, holds on tight and makes no move to suppress the smile stretching his lips at the gesture.

“Their boyfriends are definitely not as erotic as mine then”, he purrs into Doc’s hair. His limbs are possessively caging the other man in and even then, it hardly suffices to sate his need to be as close to Doc as possible, feel all of him.

“What you mean to say is they have more than just a shred of self-control.” And oh, he’s going to make Doc eat those words.

Slowly, he begins grinding down, impatient erection twitching eagerly inside and rubbing against all the right places if Doc’s startled gasp is anything to go by. He loves it deep and Lion knows it, rolls his hips against his lover’s perfect ass and makes him feel every centimetre keenly. For good measure, he bows his head to latch onto that spot right below Doc’s ear which he knows drives him wild, tongues at it wetly before sucking and relishes the unrestrained moan he earns for his trouble. Over time, he’s memorised all of Doc’s weakspots and exploits this knowledge now shamelessly, bites at his earlobe and trails his lips over soft skin to the back of Doc’s neck where he nibbles, his lazy motions emphasising his ministrations.

By now, Doc is trembling against him, the deep grind stealing his breath and causing him to jerk his hips up in search of more thorough stimulation than this merciless teasing, trying to fuck himself on Lion’s cock but failing. Frustrated huffs join the quiet panting, his grip involuntarily tightening parallel to him clenching desperately around Lion’s hard shaft and it’s mesmerising to behold how his mock crossness melts away into pure lust.

Doc’s other hand reaches back and digs into Lion’s ass, tries to get him to move more, faster, anything, but when that fails as well, he pleads: “Come on, just fuck me, Olivier.”

He knows how this goes. Grinning to himself, Lion tenses his muscles to make his dick throb inside additionally to the tantalising motions and decides to have even more fun. “You look so pretty, impaled on my cock”, he whispers and throws Doc a bone, withdraws all the way and slowly slides back in, keeps this torturous pace and sighs contentedly every time Doc’s hole allows him back in, stretches around him. He meant his words – he really can never get enough of this.

Uneven breaths have turned into whines now. “Olivier, please -”

“I could fuck you, pump you full of come and then leave you, dripping and begging for it”, he continues and concentrates on the steady build of pleasure – a slow climb but oh so satisfying. Doc feels wonderful around him. “Could do that the entire day. Every time you suck me until I’m hard again, I shoot inside but you’re not allowed to come. You can ride my cock all day, Gustave.” The thought is dazzling and he probably never fantasised about someone while being balls deep inside that very person, yet he can’t help but picture Doc all powerless, frenzied, obeying him fully. He knows Doc is too proud to actually agree to anything like it, though the throaty moan Doc lets out in response tells Lion unambiguously that he’s imagining it – and actually enjoys the thought. Still, Lion’s thumb strokes reassuringly over the hand he’s still holding.

“Please, I want you, go faster -” Doc’s impatience has reached its peak now, he shoves himself onto Lion’s member in one go and pushes against him, whimpers when Lion gnaws at his neck in retaliation and rises nonetheless, lifting his lover’s body with him. The teasing has left him frantic and exactly how Lion likes it, cheeks red and gaze almost defiant when he glares at the larger man over his shoulder. Lion could spend all day marvelling at the state of him.

Instead, he relents, guides Doc onto his hands and knees and grabs his hips to steady him, fingers brushing over the bruises on Doc’s thigh, the faint purplish tinge an expression of his devotion. “You want it hard?”, he asks and is almost surprised at how breathy his own voice is. Unbridled want is pulsing through him, vicious and blinding, making his digits itch and cock ache.

Doc nods wordlessly and it’s probably good he can’t see the pure joy on Lion’s face over the admission. Even now, even with how familiar they are with each other, every confirmation of the passion, respect and love they share sparks delight.

A sharp snap of Lion’s hips later and his focus is elsewhere again. Now he’s getting serious, drives into Doc at a fast tempo, watches as his entire erection disappears inside him and tries his best not to come on the spot. The abrupt stimulation is almost too much but he keeps going through the discomfort paired with blunt need until he hears himself moan loudly in pleasure, dig his fingertips into Doc’s flesh. He’s not going to last long, that much is clear, but he’s going to make it good regardless.

A few pointed thrusts elicit more dazed whimpering from his lover, a picturesque arch of his back to allow Lion to penetrate him all the way and even another, decidedly more heated glance back at him. They’re both equally into it, tensing and moving against each other amid the sound of skin slapping against skin, the rustling of sheets as Doc desperately seeks support, leverage, anything to hold on to – and Lion shares the sentiment of feeling wholly lost yet not wanting to be found. Ruthlessly, he slams into his lover, chasing his pleasure, helping Doc pursue his own, and makes no effort to hide his enjoyment.

A sudden spike almost pushes him over the edge when Doc’s arms give in, accompanied by something that sounds suspiciously like a keen, and now he’s really pounding him into the mattress, showing him just how deep his desire runs, how comprehensive his attraction is. He can’t even pinpoint which part it is exactly about Doc that drives him this wild, fills him with the urge to claim, mark, embrace and never let go; and he revels in the knowledge of being able to make this otherwise so poised, dignified and professional man fall apart, provoke emotions from him he displays for no one else.

“Come for me”, Lion gasps in between the creaking of the bed, “do it. Come on, amour, Gustave, I want to feel it.” And the sounds he wrenches from Doc’s throat with every thrust get impossibly louder when his lover reaches for his dick, probably not able to keep up with the merciless rhythm with which Lion is driving into him but still good enough. He gets tighter, even more so when Lion’s breath hitches, followed by a growl. He’s getting closer by the second, Doc’s noises and velvety heat making up the perfect catalyst -

And then Doc orgasms, surprisingly quickly for how little he stroked himself, he must’ve been primed, possibly dreamt of Lion and this thought is a whole other turn-on he shelves away for later. Right now, he watches, utterly transfixed, as Doc spasms under him, hips rolling futilely to either increase the intensity or shy away from it as he shoots his sperm in short bursts in between the hard thrusts. Lion fucks him through it, runs one of his palms over the dancing muscles of Doc’s back and shudders at the violent contractions around his throbbing cock; fucks him through the aftershocks, too, tiny jolts which speak of a very satisfying climax. Lion isn’t there yet, however, not fully, teetering on the edge, carefully controlling himself so he can take all of Doc in and -

“Finish inside, Olivier”, Doc demands, voice shaky, and he’s gone.

His abs tense with a delicious kind of pain at the first wave of blissful release washing through him. He buries himself deep inside his lover and moans in disbelief over how abruptly pleasure explodes behind his eyelids and nearly folds in half at the intensity, gasping for air as his cock twitches and probably adding a few bruises to the existing ones. Momentary blindness allows him to be wholly aware of Doc moving against him to milk him for every drop, of overwhelming relief encompassing his entire being as he orgasms, surrounded by scorching heat and momentarily losing all sense of reality.

Coming down is a slow, gradual affair, both of them slumping a little and Lion bending so he can rest his forehead on Doc’s shoulder blade as they both catch their breath, bask in the afterglow and enjoy the feel of shared body heat, companionship and sweet exhaustion. Lion peppers his boyfriend’s shoulder with kisses once he can see straight again, withdraws tentatively and sits up to examine the masterpiece he just fucked into existence in all its glory: shiny skin, reddened cheeks, a gaping hole, dark marks and lovebites, and, after a few seconds, a thin stream of white leaking out.

Lion is definitely unable to get hard immediately after a climax this exquisite but his dick gives a feeble jump at the sight nonetheless. He reaches out and catches the droplets with a fingertip, pushes them back to where they came from, pushes them back inside and earns a quiet moan. Adding another digit, he tries to finger the semen as deep as he can and only pauses when Doc kicks him lightly.

“I’m sore enough as it is”, he complains and rolls to the side when Lion withdraws mournfully, yet there’s a bright smile adorning his face when their eyes meet.

With weak knees, Lion stalks back and forth to get them cleaned up (and is actually amazed Doc doesn’t mention the scratches he himself inflicted) but insists on doing one thing by himself: once he’s taken his rightful place by Doc’s side, entangled their legs and exchanged a few loving kisses, he catches Doc’s wrist to lift it to his face and starts to lick his palm clean.

“You’re like a dog”, his lover murmurs fondly and readily spreads his fingers to allow for better access. “They should’ve called you Husky, not Lion – they’re just as noisy and stubborn.”

Lion shoots him a good-natured grin. “Then you should be called Bunny. What was that about self-control?”

“Oh please, you’re the eternally horny one, mon amour.”

“And yet you never say no.” Their lips meet once more in a long, thorough kiss, with Doc climbing on top of Lion halfway through, ending up straddling him and stroking his face affectionately until Lion mouths at his palm while keeping eye contact.

“You really love my hands”, Doc points out quietly.

It’s true, he does – he loves how steady they are on the job, never making a mistake, never causing harm; loves how they’re calloused and scarred, lots of specks and lines lighter in colour telling tales of hard work; loves how they worship him, how gently they treat him, how warm they are when they touch him.

“I also really love you”, Lion says instead of the million other things he could say instead which would amount to the same thing. He’s learnt his lesson about being honest with himself and others and can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed when his admissions make Doc’s face light up like a Christmas tree. “And your hands do good. They’re your most important tools and I’m thankful every time I feel them.” There’s so much more for which he’s grateful that making a list would take him several days, so he tries to convey all which he’s not divulging explicitly with a heartfelt: “Thank you, Gustave.”

Doc’s features soften and he accepts the notion with one last kiss before getting up. “I’m going to brew us some coffee”, he announces, yet pauses by the bedroom door to catch Lion’s gaze and add, softly: “I love you too, Olivier.”

And while Lion remains in bed for a minute longer, stretched out and encased in soothing warmth coming from within, a distracted smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and most of his body tingling pleasantly, he thinks back to his life no more than a year ago. How unthinkable it was that waking up would become his favourite part of the day. But sometimes, the unthinkable happens all the same.

#rainbow six siege #doc #lion #doc/lion #fanfic #commissions #thank you!!#I couldn't even fit everything in #well at least doc could #HA

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missjackil · 6 years ago

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14x12 & 14x13

During my re-watch of S14 and sobbing once again through the Brofest Trifecta, I no longer think the decision to end the show next season was made spur of the moment. Im convinced the decision was made a while ago, possibly at the same time they decided to do shorter seasons. Maybe even as far back as before S13, and that's why there was so much push for a spin-off, that ended up being very poorly written. Im not entirely sure, but at least Im confident that there was no drastic recent event that made them want to close up shop. I think they wanted to get to the 300 milestone, and why not take it through the 15 season milestone too, then hang up the flannels.

They had a lot to celebrate over the past couple seasons, the spin-off (yuck) Scoobynatural, the honor of being given The Supernatural Studios, the 300th Episode, JDM coming back and early sign on for S15, I'm sure no one wanted to bum anyone out with announcing an ending, and take the spotlight from the other things, but now as I rewatched this season, (and even some of last) I can see a set up, most specifically in the episodes Prophet and Loss, and Lebanon.

In s13, they decided to bring back Michael. That doesn't necessarily mean they’d already scheduled an end, but I think they pulled that arc off the shelf for when an end was in sight. Because seriously, as much as I may hear you all moan and groan about how the Michael Lucifer thing is so old and boring, its THE biggest storyline in the whole series, and never should have been shelved. I mean Sam and Dean being the literal vessels of the 2 biggest Archangels is HUGE. It doesnt have to be the main story all the time, but they should never let the viewers forget, and that arc should get a proper closure, which it hasnt yet.

Now this season has been setting us up for where we are now. (as any season would) but early on, there were hints to an end in sight. Small ones though, just enough to send a little chill up my spine, that yes, the show will eventually end. like in Mint Condition, Dean suggesting next Halloween they dress like Thelma and Louise and get in the car and just go. We all flash back to how Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff. Meanwhile throughout the season, we see Sam slowly unravelling. Dean began unravelling last season, and now the brothers are coming undone. Which brings me to the two episodes that I believe were setting us up for the later anouncement.

Prophet and Loss was not only the most emotional scene we’ve seen from Sam since S8, and probably even more emotional than that, and Jared has to deliver his most emotional scene to date. As most of us know, Jared had an emotional reaction to the scene that made him not be able to say the words and fit them with the actions. It affected him so strongly that Jensen thought he may be having a stroke, because as long as he’s known Jared, and everything he’s been through, he’s never seen him unable to do the job, and at that moment, he couldnt do it. Jared said its the only time in his whole career he ever went home and cried, feeling like he disappointed everyone. That made me so sad when I heard it, and wanted him to know he didnt disapooint anyone, he did an AMAZING job!

Now, after the annoucement of the end, that scene takes on a whole new meaning. I think (and I stress that its a thought, and Im not assuming I know how Jared thinks) that if Jared knew the show was ending, saying those lines would be hard as hell. Saying them and knowing we didnt know yet, could be very upsetting. Perhaps he wondered in his own heart that they made the wrong decision (as anyone put in their position would wonder at least 1000 times) and yelling at Dean about quitting, felt too much like yelling at Jensen? “We’re the guys that save the world, we dont just check out of it!” Go watch that scene again, and try to imagine Jared saying it with what we know now.

Maybe he even thought of it from the POV of the fans? That maybe thats how many of us would feel once we heard? Could it be even that maybe when he got home, he cried worried he would disappoint us all with their pending news, and the lines in that scene were just too close to home?

Even after the, now iconic, punch/hug “Why dont you believe in us too” Dean’s response was ironic too, almost like they dont need to tell us at all, but respectfully they will, and when the time comes, we do then what we cant do now, put them in the box and let them go. (watch where you step... my heart is laying around here somewhere)

This brings us to Lebanon. Such a tearfest in itself. My favorite episode yet! But if they all knew the end was in the cards, this episode also takes on new meaning. I dont think it was any accident that they chose to not show a live episode the weerk after the announcement, but to re-air Lebanon instead. It was as though they re-aired it so we could collectively see it in another way, and mourn together a little.

It’s no secret that JDM loves J2 and vise versa, J2 have said a million times theyd love to have him back, and he has said he’d love that too and how proud he is of them, and will always consider them “his boy. Him coming back was alone a sign the end was coming. How badly we, as well as Jared wanted so bad for Sam to have closure with his father. and we were given a heart wrenching and tearful scene between Sam and John. Both confronted each other with their issues, chose not to dwell on it, acknowledge they each hurt the other, and theyre sorry.

Sam said the argument they had was a lifetime ago, it may have taken half that lifetime for Sam to believe and understand, even though he did some messed up things, that yes, Dad loved him. And now, theres closure.

We soon go then to, what I now believe was a message to us, that the time to part is coming soon. Everyone sad and speechless at the table, and John says “Now as I see it, we have 2 choices, we can either dwell on whats coming, or be grateful for this time we have together. And me, I choose graqteful. So to whatever power brought us together....we owe you one” then each give an individual “amen” That killed me then, and now it kills me in a new way, and its always going to stick in my head now as a message to us fans.

We move on now to John’s farewell. J2 have said they didnt need to fake any emotions, the emotions where all really there. I now see not just John, but JDM telling J2 “I am so proud of you boys” hugging them both “I love you both so much” Jared so emotional he cant talk, and Jensen mustering enough strength for the both of them to say “I love you too” (I think I heard my heart shattering in a corner somewhere) I will never get over that episode in this lifetime... ever.

After these episodes, we got a break (mercifully) then we got 3 episodes before we got the announcement. In those episodes, we have Cas explaining to Jack that even though Sam and Dean are wonderful, amazing, and special human beings, they are humans and humans shine for just a short time. Someday Sam and Dean will die, and it will hurt, but that pain will remind us of how much we love them. And Jack thinks like me... “That sounds.... awful”... those words are not a comfort Cas.... nice try though 💔😭

We also have Sam still unravelling, he got a dose of phony happiness, (as did Dean in Nihlism ... as neither place of happiness included each other) yet, it was each other who pulled them out. Sam pulled Dean out of his dream world, the mention of Dean pulled Sam out. Sam knows he wont be happy without Dean, so he presses on. We still have 4 episodes left of this season. Lucifer is on his way back. AU Michael might be dead, but cage Michael has been mentioned a lot the past few seasons so I think we’re gonna get some kind of real showdown to put that arc to rest.

So now I will always see Prophet and Loss and Lebanon in a new way... a painful way, but Ill throw in an honorary mention of some irony in Damaged Goods.... regarding the from behind, sneak attack hug, “If it feels like something is up, it probably is” and regarding Sam’s anger when Dean told him his plan, it would have really been messed up and wrong if they didnt tell us, they knew this, so they did.... they didnt have to.

#supernatural #14x12 #14x13 #their love note to us and for us #i miss them already #sam and dean forever

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succygirl · 6 years ago

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Im moving into an apartment soon and will be able to have plenty of succulents and other plants again! One problem I always had was propogating... Id pop off the babies and lay them out, but theyd shrivel before they grew roots. Lay them on soil, same thing. Stick them in the soil and theyd seem to last longer, but wouldnt grow and eventually died after a couple weeks... Can you give a guide in how you grow new succulent babies?

Sure! I honestly don’t do much, though. (read more because I’m picture happy)

A lot of the time I’ll pull the leaves off and leave them laying around in my bathroom for awhile. My bathroom ends up being my work station a lot, I have counter space, it’s easy to clean up, and staying warm is a big thing for me so being inside is great. They don’t get any direct light in there mostly just indirect.

I find indirect light for a time when they’re first pulled helps, too much light and they have to work too fast to keep from using up their inner water reserves and succulents really aren’t the fastest of growers.

They might stay there a few days to a few weeks. It depends on if I’m pulling leaves from a cutting that I just brought home or not. Anything I just brought home gets to stay there for awhile in quarantine. I’ll spray them with a water/alcohol solution when I first get them to hopefully kill any bugs and then wait around to see if any bugs do pop up that I need to keep spraying for. Sometimes they’ll be there so long they start sprouting roots there, which is fine, they then get put under my grow light onto some dry soil (which you want gritty, gritty is key. Just as gritty as you’d use for adult succulents. The following pictures will show my soil mix a lot, do take notice of it.)

My Grow light set up. Putting them on the bottom shelf under my grow light would be akin to putting them in a sunny window with direct light, I think. The top shelf if definitely more intense and is more like being outside with no window glass blocking any light. If something needs more light than it’s getting at the bottom shelf the props I like the best get moved up to the higher shelf if I have room. Otherwise I now put them outside in my greenhouse.

Larger leaves get their own little cell, but when they’re small they can buddy up. Now, not all of these grow!! I put those beans up there under my grow light on Dec 1st, 2018. Within a few weeks some of them just up and shriveled. That’s fine. Nothing I could have done to prevent it, really, some leaves just don’t grow. So if you’re banking on getting 1 leaf and it growing you might end up disappointed.

This is those same beans today, March 28th, 2019. A few got shuffled around as others died, that middle cell is probably the only one that wasn’t touched and there’s two leaves in there that are growing roots but not any leaves yet. (They’re also wanting more light, I’ve now moved them to my greenhouse since I don’t have any more real estate on the upper shelf of my grow light set-up.)

This is two different trays of leaves that I pulled at the same time from the same plant. The bigger leaves are going much faster than the smaller inner leaves I pulled! So when you’re pulling leaves big is good, though BIGGER isn’t always better. Sometimes when they’re too big they just up and rot from all the water that’s in them sitting around too long.

I also try and make sure any leaves I pull aren’t already being used up! You want plump and healthy. A few days after watering the plant you’re pulling the leaves from is the best time, that makes for plump leaves ripe for using up their inner juice for making babies.

You may have noticed I haven’t really said anything about watering them… That’s because I don’t really. I mean I do but not until they have roots at the very least.

Roots! Hopefully they’re already making their way into the soil but sometimes they don’t. I try and just cover them with a bit of soil, maybe a few larger piece of perlite to encourage them down. At this point I do water them but not with spraying.

I have a bottle with a nice directional nozzle on it to just put water on the soil and not the leaf. (It was originally for hair coloring back when I was in cosmetology.) So I’ll give them a nice drink and leave them for a good while. Maybe water them again in a week? I honestly don’t keep track, I try and look at the mother leaves to determine if they need water, though that’s not always possible.

When the roots are shallow, like the ones up above, getting just the top of the soil moist is fine but when they’re more established I like to give them even deeper soaks to encourage deeper rooting. I have a splash tray under all these cell trays when they’re under my grow light so it’s easy to just squirt water until it’s coming out the bottom without moving them anywhere else to water (and potentially dropping the entire tray on the way to the sink… which I’ve done MANY TIMES.)

For an even DEEPER watering I’ll take the whole cell tray and sit it in a bowl of water for awhile, so the soil can soak it up from the bottom and be completely saturated.

I water like this for all of my adult plants, which these basically are at this point even though they all still have their mother leaves still. If I really wanted those big leaves gone I just wait and don’t water for a bit longer (2-3 of those back ones are yellow-ish and will probably be used up regardless of this watering though). But I like to keep them as long as possible because it’s easier to see wrinkles, if the plants are thirsty, when they have bigger leaves. They float for awhile in this bowl but as the soil soaks up the water they get heavier and drop, which just pushes the water up into the soil further. Once the top of the soil looks wet I take them out to drain and then put them back where they live.

Look at how thirsty these succers are. I can bend the leaf! When it’s full of water these things are stiff and rigid! No way you can bend those without snapping them when they’re not thirsty.

I don’t even know where that little prop came from. That’s supposed to be a single plant cell! But it’s growing, and I’ve never watered it that I know of (specially since I just noticed it today??). It may have fallen off of something from the shelf above. I’ve got no clue what it is though.

Anyway, That’s really all I do! I just ignore them most of the time when I’m not taking copious amounts of pictures.

Try again in your new apartment, it could be your old environment just wasn’t good for them. Not everyone’s house is good for every type of plant so experiment and find what works for you! You could also try water propagation if laying them out really doesn’t work. Sometimes the higher humidity helps them. You just rubber band some plastic wrap to the top of a jar, or something, filled with water and then poke some holes in the plastic enough for the ends of your leaves to go through. You don’t want them directly in the water, though, just above it and not touching.

You can also search my “succulent propagation” and “propagation” tags for more pictures and updates on all my props as they age (which I need to post some updates about now that I’m looking through them all. My E. Black Princes are much bigger and darker now!!)

#succulents #succulent propagation #propagation #succulent asks #plant help #plant advice #succulent help #it's 1 am and I have craaaamps and a very bad hormonal headache #but I will talk about the succs no matter what!!#you can't stop me body #Anonymous

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keelywolfe · 6 years ago

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Fic: Hearts and Hopes

Summary: It's been a long week and Edge is tired. His husband still has a trick up his sleeve but that's okay, he keeps his heart on his sleeve, too. It's a fair trade.

Notes: If you thought to yourself that I couldn’t possibly get more fluffy with this, brace yourself.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established relationship, Fluff, hurt/comfort

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

The monitor screen was starting to blur in his vision and Edge rubbed at his sockets irritably, trying to focus. It was late enough in the day for it to be close to pointless and the stacks of folders at his elbow were a clear sign that he hadn’t gotten nearly enough done over the course of the day. Janice was sorely missed and as much as he wanted her to take her time recovering, he’d be relieved when she finally came back. Working without her was like trying to type with a hand tied behind his back, doable but slow going.

Edge sighed tiredly. He was being unreasonably annoyed with himself and he knew it. Along with missing his assistant, he hadn’t slept well, nightmares lurking in the corners of his sleep. Those dreams always came back when he was stressed. He hated that particular weakness, didn’t allow his nightmares to follow him into his waking hours but still, his sleep was interrupted, and it left him drained.

It was endlessly irritating that his subconscious mind refused to leave the past in the past. Underfell no longer had a hold on his daytime life, when would it leave his nights in peace? The probable answer to that was not one he particularly liked.

A knock on his door made him jerk and Edge swore under his breath. It was nearly time for him to go home, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone else’s problems today and without Janice to run interference, he was going to have to put his own diplomacy to the test.

“Come in,” he called, trying to keep his irritation from his voice.

To his surprise, Stretch poked his head in the door, grinning cheekily. “heya handsome, you about done?”

Edge could only sigh in a mixture of fondness and exasperation. Days after Stretch had promised him to be careful coming down here, if he came down here, which he rarely did, of course that would be when he showed up at his door.

“okay, you can stop with the look,” Stretch chided. Not that there was a look, Edge was certain of that, but Stretch could always read him better than anyone. “i shortcutted into the lobby from the bus stop, as per. no one saw me outside. i even called reception before i did so no one would have a shitfit about me coming out of nowhere.”

“Thank you for your caution,” Edge said dryly, masking his relief that Stretch was at least taking him seriously. “Can I ask why you’re here when I would have been home shortly anyway?”

“you can ask and i’ll even answer,” Stretch grinned happily, rocking on his heels, and Edge waited, suspiciously. “i want you to drive me someplace.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Edge gave him a narrow look. “Where am I driving you?”

Stretch’s grin turned sly and he tapped the faint protuberance of his nasal bone, “now, see, that’s where you’ll need to be patient, babe. you’ll see when we get there.”

For one moment, he considered begging off. Whatever game Stretch was playing was surely heartfelt, but he was tired and wasn’t really feeling up to a mysterious road trip. Janice was supposed to be back next week, and even so they’d be days catching up to the backlog of work.

Tempting, but to do so would steal that look of glee from Stretch, his visible delight in whatever it was he had planned. Stretch would accept it if he asked, Edge knew, he wouldn’t complain or protest, and whatever disappointment he felt would be held back, muted into nothing but dimmer eye lights, his normal exuberance only slightly subdued. Nothing that most people would notice.

But Edge would know.

“Let me pull the car up to the sidewalk,” Edge sighed. “You can see it from reception, and you can shortcut to it.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Stretch said agreeably, bouncing on his toes as he waited for Edge to put on his coat.

You make me happy, Edge didn’t say, though he did reel Stretch in for a quick kiss, one that was happily given.

He did hope it wasn’t a long drive.

~~*~~

Stretch really hoped this wasn’t a mistake.

For one, he could tell Edge was tired. That was fucking disturbing as it was, Edge was usually a six-foot energizer bunny, his baby could go and go, and usually did. He wasn’t used to seeing lingering weariness in him, the way his eye lights were dimmer than normal.

Yeah, that and the nightmares he’d been having this week, thanks, if Edge thought he was hiding those, he was ever-fucking-wrong, and maybe he didn’t wake up screaming loud enough to peel the linoleum but even still, he wasn’t sleeping well.

Tempting as it was to play the hypocrite card and point out that he’d gotten dragged to a therapist when his nightmares were bad, eh, even he couldn’t pretend it was quite the same. His own issues had always been a little deeper than just a few bad dreams. Not that Edge probably wouldn’t benefit from a therapist; fuck, between him, Sans, and the Fell brothers, they could probably see about getting a group rate, but it didn’t feel like a battle worth fighting.

Not yet, anyway.

So, after spending a few days wracking his brain, trying to come up with something to do for Edge, he’d finally had an idea. Good idea? Time would tell, but he was hedging enough on it to have Edge following the GPS on his phone without letting him see the final address.

The building they pulled into was unimpressive, only two other cars in the parking lot and there was no sign to betray him.

Edge followed him up the walkway, waiting with silent wariness as Stretch knocked on the unassuming door. They didn’t have to wait long for a young Human woman to answer, smiling warmly even though she’d only met Stretch face to face once before, that very morning. They’d known each other on Twitter for a long time and had a pretty good working relationship, and she’d been eager to help when he asked for this very particular favor.

“Hello,” she said brightly, holding the door open, “Come on in, you’re right on time.”

“deena, this is my husband, edge.” Stretch told her as he toed off his shoes. Edge did the same, slower, though he nodded to her politely, shaking her hand when she offered it.

“It’s good to meet you in person, Edge,” Deena smiled. “Just follow me.”

“What is this?” Edge muttered, low enough to only carry to Stretch. His confusion deepened at the sound that was getting louder as they walked down the hallway, whimpers and whines. At the end was a doorway blocked by a baby gate and behind it were crying balls of fluffy puppy, all of them piled together in front of the gate.

“Get back, you little beasts,” Deena laughed, stepping over the gate. She made her way to the back of the room where there was a table laden with items. “You’ll have to excuse their manners, they’re hungry.”

Stretch followed her and, more reluctantly, Edge. The puppies milled at their feet and Stretch reached down to pick one of the squirmy bundles up.

“this is the hearts of hope animal shelter,” Stretch told his husband, petting the eager puppy in his arms. “i post for them all the time on my twitter for donations and adoptions. someone found these little guys in a box behind a dumpster and they’re fostering them until their old enough to adopt.” Without waiting for any protests, he thrust the puppy into Edge’s hands, waiting only long enough for him reflexively catch it before letting go and snagging up another.

“Rus…” Edge murmured warningly.

“it’s not what you think, i promise. i’m not angling for another pet, the chickens are good.” He grinned, nuzzling into soft fur. “but come on, look!”

The puppies looked like little toasted marshmallows, puffy white overlaid with tan, the leftover little ones tumbling around their feet, whimpering and crying. Deena came back carrying a box of filled bottles, handed one to Edge and Rus before gathering up a puppy of her own.

“Here you go, greedy Gus,” she laughed as the puppy latched on to the nipple instantly, suckling hungrily. “They eat so much at this age.”

Stretch offered the bottle to the puppy in his arms, sinking down to sit on a clean spot on the floor. Another puppy took the opportunity to clamber into his lap, and Stretch laughed, snagging another bottle and trying to feed two at once.

It was worth all the effort, all the worrying and planning, to see Edge shifting to sit next to him, inexpertly handling his own puppy, but soon each one of the floofs had a bottle and were eating with blissful eagerness.

It didn’t take long for them to drain the bottles and that left them with a lapful of sleepy little critters, their tummies round and full.

“There we are, you little troublemakers,” Deena crooned. She gathered up her puppy and sat it fearlessly into Edge’s lap where it curled up with his sibling. Stretch loved her a little for that, but then, she had a lot of experience in dealing with bruised souls, didn’t she? “Hold them for a bit, could you, while I clean up?”

“I…all right,” Edge agreed, a little helplessly, as Deena gathered up the empty bottles and left. He stroked a tentative hand over his puppies, petting gently. One of them kicked a foot, whimpering indistinctly and sighing as Edge scratched behind one tiny ear. Softly, he asked, “What made you think to bring me here?”

Stretch shrugged a little, petting his own sleepy fluffies. “you told me once how loyal the dogs of your Snowdin were. i just thought…you sounded like you maybe you missed them.”

“They were very loyal,” Edge agreed. It did not escape Stretch’s notice that he didn’t say anything about missing them. “But puppies of Aboveground are not the same as Monsters.”

Stretch only shrugged again. No, they weren’t, but Edge didn’t stop petting them, either.

He did slant Stretch a narrow look. “We aren’t taking one home.”

“nope, not even asking,” Stretch agreed, gathering up one of his puppies to nuzzle soft fur. “these are more like…therapy dogs.”

“I don’t—” Edge began and stopped, biting off the words.

“don’t what?” Stretch settled his drowsy puppy back into his lap, trailing his fingers through silky fur. “don’t need therapy? you can say it, i’m not offended.”

A flicker of something like guilt tinted Edge’s expression. “I don’t mean to imply there is anything wrong with needing it.”

“you aren’t,” Stretch said firmly. “now c’mon, these little guys need your help.”

It was deliberate phrasing, and even if Edge knew what he was doing, it tended to work. Edge was hardwired somewhere in a way that made him like helping. Even puppies.

“My help?” Edge said dubiously, but he took the sleeping puppy Stretch handed him, gently adding him to his pile.

“yep. he needs pets and loves.”

There was something indescribably precious about seeing his fierce, proud husband with a lapful of sleeping puppies curled against him. Petting them carefully, heedless of the shed fur clinging to his expensive trousers. No wonder Edge had so many clothes; married to Stretch, he sure as hell went through them. Their drycleaner was going to be able to retire in the tropics.

He couldn’t resist snapping a picture of it, planning on making it the background on his phone. Only to blink in surprise when Edge asked him, hesitantly. “Do you think posting a picture to Twitter would be helpful for adopting them out? My appearance is sometimes…unnerving for Humans.”

Well, that was an unpleasant realization to sneak in amidst all the adorable. Was that really why Edge didn’t like Stretch posting pictures of him online? It was on the tip of his tongue to say it wasn’t true and even if it was, he didn’t give a flying fuck. Edge was fucking gorgeous, sexy as all hell, and he didn’t give a shit what any coldhearted Humans thought about it.

He choked it back. That wasn’t going to help and Edge preferred honesty, even if it was unpleasant. They were using his Twitter and Instagram for propaganda, that was a fact, and Edge did look fierce sometimes to people, no, to fucking idiots who couldn’t look beneath the hard crust to see the marshmallow filling beneath. A picture didn’t give context; Stretch knew his love, knew how tender, how gentle and caring he was.

Stretch took a long, slow breath, and considered his words carefully. “tell you what, i’ll get a few shots that’ll let me post about the puppies online but still protect your privacy, yeah? so people don’t stop you on the street to ask for your autograph. and you can see them first, get veto rights.”

Must not have done too badly, because Edge’s smile was easier, his hesitance falling away, “All right.”

They stayed for a while longer, cuddling the puppies. One of them woke up enough to gnaw on Stretch’s fingers a little too enthusiastically with his needle-sharp little teeth, making him curse and Edge chuckle. It woke the rest of them and soon they went from snoozing balls of fluff to playful, tumbling ones, tugging eagerly on a rope toy as Edge held it or clambering into his lap for more pets and scritches, until they both were laughing, Deena staying tactfully away for the time being.

Not a cure for nightmares, Stretch knew, not an answer to his husband’s troubles, but it was hard to be too miserable when you were covered in puppies.

-finis-

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underswap papyrus #underfell papyrus #by any other name

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emilyprentissisababe · 6 years ago

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Hi my lovelies! I've been working on this Jemily college AU fic for awhile now. I'd love feedback! This is the first fic I've written in maybe 10 years, so please be gentile (but constructive if you've got any advice 😊 ). There will probably be 2 more chapters, so let me know if youd like to be tagged.

Thank you so much @books-cats-fandom for helping me with this and putting up with my whining. You're the best ❤. Also thank you to @bi-ssaemilyprentiss and @cicinicole-14 for being willing to read this for me!

There are no warnings. This is complete fluff. _____________________

Emily had a knack for not being able to sleep at night. For some reason all of the days events and tomorrows worries plagued her in the waning hours of darkness. As she laid in bed she couldn't help but feel anxious about what the new day would bring. She had midterms coming up, an eventual graduation, figuring out what to do next, and "real world" problems on the horizon. The main things dominating her thoughts tonight however? Jennifer Jareau. She and JJ had been mutual acquaintances for about a year now. Going to the same parties. Taking the same classes. But in the last three months they've become really close friends. They tell each other just about everything. Em even told her how it was hard for her to grow up moving around and how she had a hard time making friends. JJ told her how she was born prematurely and they doctors thought she wouldnt make it. They usually ended each day talking to each other. It was a nice occurrence for Emily. University life can be quite lonely sometimes.

Her phone lights up. "Speak of the devil". She thinks.

"How many pages should that paper be again?"

Emily looks at the clock. Its 3 AM. No rest for the wicked huh? "Umm, what are you doing awake? We have class at 9 tomorrow. You better be there, seeing your gorgeous face is the only thing that makes that class bearable."

"I've gotta finish this paper. Have you ever known me to skip class? You know me better than that! Wait....what are you doing awake?"

"Just thinking.."

"Thinking about what?"

"What happened today. With Caleb....I can't believe he asked you out, just like that, with all of those people standing there. With me standing there."

"Yeah, I was...taken off guard, that's for sure. I don't like him like that..."

"Then why did you agree to go?"

"Hes a nice guy, and I was so shocked, I just kind of nodded.....hey! I've got an idea, why dont you come with us?"

"Come with you on the date? Um, no thanks Jay, I dont want to be a third wheel."

"Then bring your own date. Theres gotta be SOMEONE you're interested in. "

"Well, there is someone I'm interested in, but I dont know how they feel about me and...idk"

"I'm sure they'll say yes if you ask them. You're so smart, and beautiful, and caring, and did I mention beautiful? Anyone would be lucky to date you."

Emily feels her heart skip a beat. Damn. She really knew how to get to her. "No, I dont think that's the best idea."

"Awww come on! At least tell me who it is!"

"You're getting distracted. Do your paper and get some sleep babe. You've gotta take care of yourself."

"Okay. Okay. Fine. But dont think I'll forget about this conversation. I want answers as to who's stolen your heart, Emily Prentiss."

Emily sighs, smiling into her phone. "Go to sleep. Goodnight ❤"

"Goodnight, lovely ❤"

____________________________________________

The next day Prentiss ran into class a few minutes before it started and was disappointed when all the seats next to JJ were taken.

"You were almost late 😂"

"Sush! You're the one texting in class 🙊"

"Umm, you just texted be back though."

"You're such a brat! 😂"

The professor then passed out a test that took the rest of the period. Emily took longer to complete it and by time she was done, JJ had already left. She wasnt sure why, but she felt a little disappointed when she walked out of the classroom and JJ wasnt there waiting for her. After a moment Emily was able to shake off her disappointment, she needed to go talk to a different professor and if she didnt leave now she would miss her. As she rounded the corner to her professors office she saw a little blonde head peak out from a door across the hall. She couldnt hide the smile that came across her face. Her professor was just on her way out of her office so Emily asked her question quickly and her professor left.

Suddenly JJ was behind her, "hey there." She said with a smirk playing on her lips.

"Hey you."

"How did you do on that test?"

"It was rough right?"

"Oh sush. You always get perfect grades."

"Umm so do you!" Emily said, leaning against the hall wall. JJ didnt say anything and just stared at Emily. After a few moment the blonde reaches over the space separating the two. Emily had been looking down at her boots as JJ gently lifted her chin.

"You're so beautiful." She said as she gently caressed Em's cheek. "And your skin is so soft." Emily blushed a little and then put her hand over JJ's, enjoying the touch. Emily was a little touch starved. Her mother wasnt the most nurturing parent and she hadn't dated anyone in a long time.

"Look at you though. Your eyes are my favorite color. Vast. Clear. Beautiful. Just like you." JJ smiled, making Emily's heart beat just a little bit faster. What was that about? She thought. Just as quickly as it happened, JJ pulled her hand back, leaving that spot on her cheek feeling cold, "oh shit, I'm going to be late! I'll talk to you later!" And with that, the blonde glided away, leaving Em, smiling and gently touching her cheek.

After class had finished that day Em had to go to work and then straight home to do homework. As she lay in bed that night, thinking yet again of Jennifer Jareau. She was notoriously good at overanalyzing everything. Tonight? The cheek caress. Why did she do that? What did it mean? Sure, they have been touchy before, mostly sitting close and brushing against each other, but this? This was so....blatant. This was so new. Emily is wrapped up in these thoughts when she gets a text, "Hey, party this Saturday. I'll go if you go!"

"Wait, you mean the infamous homebody Jennifer Jareau is going to a party this weekend? I'm so there!"

"We'll see who's infamous after this weekend. 😉" another text "you should bring that guy you were telling me about the other night. I need to meet him!"

"You know them better than you think..." Em typed, feeling her heart rate speed up. It was about time she admit to herself that she had feelings for JJ. How is that possible? She'd never had feelings for another woman before....

"Oh come on Em! Just tell me who they are! Maybe I could help them fall in love with you! It's such an easy thing to do! 😉"

Em sighed. It was about time to just admit her feelings. Maybe theyd go away if she just got it over with. Another text, "who is ittt?"

After taking a big breath, she types out, "it's you... " she closes her eyes and presses send. Her heart is beating so loudly she cant hear anything else.

"Oh, Em, I'm flattered. I'm just not in the position to be in a relationship right now...."

"That's okay! It honestly just feels good to get it off of my chest..."

"Babe. This wont affect anything. I promise. I want you to always be able to tell me the truth."

"Okay....good...I'll see you Saturday?"

"Yes! I'll see you Saturday! Be ready for a party!"

____________________________________________

If you've made it this far, thank you ❤ I appreciate you. If I'm being honest, I am writing this for a personal reason to help me deal with something that happened in my real life. So far it has been very cathartic.

I'm tagging @prentissisthebestest @mullinscarousel @unleash-the-doves @unitchiefwives @puke-and-nutballs @emily-prentiss-is-bea @blondeandbrunetteshipper @just-take-a-moment-and-dream @nekocrocs @magnificentperfectionmiracle @sunnysaysbookreviews @soul-disposition @katiealyssa96 @mikan-chan-the-obsess @oakleygartner @feelingsbutnofeelings @ryker-the-pta-mom becuase you all said you'd like to read this when I asked in a previous post. If you dont want to be tagged in the next chapters, just let me know. I'll understand. I hope you enjoyed it :)

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inawickedlittletown · 6 years ago

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Walking The Wire (117/155)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen

Strange was on the ground but he was awake and Peter stood a few feet away, the iron legs gone back into the suit and his mask pulled back. The cape flew away from Peter where Peter had been greeting it to Strange as Tony approached and let the nanotech in the suit pull back entirely as he walked towards them.

“We’ve got to turn this ship around,” Strange said.

It was Tony’s first instinct too. Figure out how to turn the ship around and go back home. It was sort of his main instinct because Peter was on the ship. The only thing was that he didn’t know if they could or if it was the right thing to do. Maybe there was something to the idea of catching Thanos unaware because the last thing that he was probably expecting was for them to show up wherever the ship was headed. After all, they were already headed to space so maybe they just needed to stick with that trajectory since Strange had gotten them into this situation in the first place by not leaving when he could have.

“Stark, we have to turn the ship around.”

“Yeah. Now he wants to run. Great plan,” Tony muttered.

“No,” Strange grounded out. “I want to protect the stone.”

Tony really just -- he hated how arrogant Strange was even after Tony had gone to the trouble of saving his life. He headed towards what looked to be the controls of the ship.

“And I want you to thank me. Go ahead. I’m listening,” Tony added as he walked away.

“For what? Nearly blasting me into space?” Strange asked as if he hadn’t been surrounded by needles just a few minutes earlier.

It was as if he wasn’t taking into consideration at all that Tony and Peter had had to leave Earth to save him because he and the Time Stone around his neck had gotten captured and taken onto an alien ship.

“Who just saved your magical ass?” Tony asked and he turned because he knew that Strange had walked after him. “Me.”

“I seriously don’t know how you fit your head into that helmet,” Strange said and Tony thought that he must have said it solely to irritate him. He really couldn’t stand this man.

If Strange had only listened to Tony while they were on Earth when Tony told him to leave it was possible that they wouldn’t be in the situation they were finding themselves in now on some alien ship in space headed to -- well, Tony had no idea where they were headed.

“Admit it,” Tony said. “You should have ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.”

Dr. Strange scoffed and it was clear that he was too arrogant and too determined to disagree with Tony and at least bickering with him took his mind off of worrying about Peter and the outcome of the situation they were in. From the looks of it it the ship was on some sort of autopilot. Tony had no way of knowing where it was headed but there was certainly a destination.

“Unlike everyone else in your life,” Strange said, “I don’t work for you.”

“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying donut billions of miles away from Earth with no backup.” That was the part that really rankled Tony if he was honest. He had no way to contact the team -- to let them know what was going on or that they were okay. No way to figure out a plan together and really decide what their best choice would be. They were on their own. He and Peter were on their own with Strange.

“I’m backup,” Peter spoke up from behind Strange.

Tony didn’t want to be angry with Peter. He didn’t want to be upset at him for staying on the ship when Tony had been sending home and yet it was there under the surface because Tony had to think about the universe as a whole and his mind just kept going back to protecting his kid because to him that was the most important thing and yet -- Peter’s well being couldn’t be the priority. Not this time.

“No,” Tony said, addressing Peter, “you’re a stowaway.” And for good measure he pointed at himself and Strange. “The adults are talking.”

Peter’s shoulders dropped a little and he looked like he was ready to argue back, but he seemed to rethink it.

“I’m sorry,” Strange said. He was looking between him and Peter with some interest. “So, I’m a bit confused as to the relationship here. What is he? Your ward?”

“No,” Peter said. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” Tony said. “After all, everyone knows I have a son.”

Granted, most people didn’t know that his son was Peter and that his son was Spider-Man, but Strange wouldn’t care one way or another.

Strange grunted. “I don’t actually follow your media coverage, Stark,” he said. “So this is your son, then?” Strange looked Peter over, seemingly taking the moment to really look at him before he let out a breath. “I’m Doctor Strange,” he said directing it at Peter.

Tony busied himself looking at the controls of the ship, trying to figure out how they worked and what they might need to do to get control of the ship and maybe get it off of autopilot too.

“Oh,” Peter said, “we’re using our made-up names. Um, I’m Spider-Man, then.”

Tony tried not to laugh. He wasn’t sure if Peter had said it because he was serious or because he was getting some amusement out of confusing Strange.

“The ship is self-correcting its course,” Tony informed them. “It’s on autopilot.”

Tony still wasn’t sure if they should head back home. The father in him said yes -- that it was the best thing to do. It would mean being back somewhere familiar where they could figure out what to do with the Time Stone. It would also mean having Peter back on Earth and having the option of trying to keep Peter out of trouble. But he couldn’t make that decision based solely on what was best for Peter. He couldn’t be a dad -- he couldn’t be Tony Stark about it. He had to be Iron Man -- he had to be an Avenger.

“Can we control it? Fly us home?” Strange asked.

Tony didn’t answer. What were the better odds? Thanos would come for the stone no matter where they were and with him destruction and death.

“Stark?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you get us home?” Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to badly.

“I heard you,” Tony said. “I’m -- I’m thinking -- well...I’m not so sure we should go back.”

Tony knew that as soon as he said it that Strange didn’t agree and that he didn’t understand what Tony meant by it.

“Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos,” Strange said. “I don’t think you quite understand what’s at stake here.” He got in Tony’s face, anger and fear so obvious in the way he stared at Tony and it was so demeaning and pushy and of course Tony understood. He understood better than anyone.

“No, it’s you who doesn’t understand,” Tony shot back. “Thanos has been inside my head for six years! Since he sent an army to New York and now he’s back and I don’t know what to do. So, I’m not so sure if it’s a better plan to fight him on our turf or his, but you saw what they did. What he can do. At least on his turf, he’s not expecting it. So, I say we take the fight to him.”

He had decided. He was sure it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. Tony stared at Strange and at least the man was smart enough to take Tony’s words and think on them and not just shove them aside like everything else Tony had said.

“Doctor, do you concur?”

Strange took a moment and then there was a slight nod even though Tony could tell that Strange wasn’t entirely sure. “Alright, Stark. We go to him.”

Was it a good plan? Tony wasn’t sure -- it just seemed like the thing to do. Because if they could turn the ship around -- assuming they could even manage that -- it wouldn’t exactly lead them away from the fight. Tony started to turn away from Strange, but Strange stopped him and he looked almost apologetic in the way he stared at Tony. He glanced back towards Peter once before speaking.

“You have to understand,” Strange said, “if it comes to saving you or your son or the Time Stone -- I will not hesitate to let either of you die. The fate of the universe depends on it.”

Peter let out a gasp. Small and almost silent. Tony tried not to react with anger.

“Good,” Tony said. “Nice moral compass you got there.”

Strange looked away and Tony stepped back too and then he looked towards Peter. Too loyal and too wonderful Peter who should have been back on Earth safe and sound. Tony would have felt so much better about this decision if Peter wasn’t there. He hated the idea of bringing Peter along to this fight -- to face a threat worse than any they’d ever faced before. Peter had moved over, closer to the controls which he looked at with curious interest.

Tony dropped a hand to Peter’s shoulder and Peter just moved into a hug almost instantly as if it were instinct to him and Tony didn’t mind it at all. Peter’s arms wrapped around Tony’s middle and he was warm and breathing and alive and Tony could hear his heartbeat and it was enough. Tony pressed a kiss to Peter’s head and he closed his eyes and let himself imagine that they weren’t on an alien ship and instead back home and none of it was true.

“Love you, kid,” Tony said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen,” Peter whispered.

“I know.” And he did. He could tell that Peter felt sorry -- he maybe didn’t regret his actions completely, but he hated disappointing Tony. “It’s -- I don’t know if I’d say it’s okay but there’s nothing to be done now.”

“I know,” Peter said.

When Tony looked up he found that Strange was watching them.

Chapter One Hundred Eighteen

#peter and tony #peter and tony fic #mcuwriting #mcu fic #iron dad #iron dad and spider son #stony #stony fic #marvel

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lesbianyennefer · 8 years ago

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ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad. one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped.

- the relationships: by the end of the story i can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries).

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.

#i guess this is kinda like a review lmao #but yeah ofc heavy me:a spoilers #becky speaks

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myapogee · 8 years ago

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I saw Lego Batman yesterday and really loved it but also parts of it kinda got me melancholic so here’s me saying dumb things about myself as well as some movie spoilers so dont read more if you havent seen it yet and care

they did a good job with the character development / theme of batman being afraid of starting a new family bc he’s scared of losing them. and that hit me fairly hard. him eating alone, watching tv alone, working alone etc. i could relate.

and it just made me face my ever present version of his fear. batman’s afraid he’ll lose important ppl by them dying. which makes sense even more with him as batman than as a child bc his allies become a target, they go into battles where they arent guaranteed to come out alive. needless to say, the ppl around me aren’t anywhere near as likely to die out of the blue. but even if they were. thats not what im afraid of.

when someone dies it is generally not their fault. they dont mean to hurt you, it wasnt their choice or your choice and theres usually nothing you could have done to change it. but ppl can leave your life in other ways than dying. constantly, people choose to leave others behind. they mean to hurt you, someone is to blame, and there are things that could have been done to change it. when someone dies, yeah, it’s sad. but death is a necessary part of the universe, it has to happen to everyone and for myself its not exactly as if i’m all that opposed to dying anyways. point is, losing someone in any way is sad. but losing them when youve hurt each other. losing them even though theyre still alive and well somewhere you could just drive to. you could walk right up to them and see how happy they are without you, happier without you.

i have my family downstairs. my parents and my sister. and i see them a few times a week, esp on weekends since i have nothing at all to do. and the way our family is, its unthinkable any member(s) could really abandon any other(s). even if i did come out of the closet to my parents, they wouldnt kick me out im sure. im sure theyd say theyre fine and encourage me or whatever. but id still know. id know they dont mean. id know i disappointed both of them. i know bc my dad has specifically told my sister and i “of course we’d be fine if either of you were gay... we’d just prefer it if you were straight, haha”. i know bc my mom has specifically shed be uncomfortable at a gay wedding, and when my sister and i tried to call her out on it, saying “that line of thought is just like ppl who used to be ‘uncomfortable’ with a white person and a black person getting married” and she scoffed and said it “wasn’t the same thing” and i insisted it was. you dont just forget that and move on. you dont just bring it up and have them say theyve changed or that they didnt mean it or anything like that bc how, how can you believe them? how can you trust them after that??? how could i be myself around them when in college my mom went through a list of the girls i knew trying to figure out if i was interested in any of them. who told me she wasnt worried about the possibility of me being gay bc she knew i had crushes on girls in elementary/middle school. and you know what my sister’s pretty great. but now i have to be fucking wary of her bc she looked through my blog (before my name change, HENCE MY NAME CHANGE) without my permission but more specifically WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO FOLLOW IT and then found on my art blog a self portrait of myself in more feminine clothing (hardly, even? a floral shirt. like. they make that for men! i saw them while working at sears! i would love to wear why more feminine shit than that, but man even just this one thing-) and asked if i was gender fluid. and you know what? i denied it bc maybe i am a little though id like to support the notion that clothing shouldnt be so gender biased BUT IF I WANT TO TELL YOU I AM GENDER FLUID or nonbinary or ANYTHIGN like that, i will TELL YOU IN PERSON. you are NOT to find out by SKULKING my BLOG.

i have a friend who lives p close and a friend who lives way far and i appreciate them so much i really do (though distance is always really tough for me). but im not... great... at being a friend. bc i grew up so ingrained with the knowledge that all friends always leave. and when that happens its going to hurt. and the number of days spent hurting after they leave will be much more the number of days spent smiling while they were there. mathematically, its no contest. friends arent worth having. and family? im scared. i cant be... who i am... with them here. and i cant leave them either. id have no one. bc theyre the only ones who cant leave me just like i cant leave them. we wont. and at the point where i am now its too late anyways. its not like i can suddenly learn to trust someone. to love someone or support them. im selfish and scared and i stayed holed up and im not going to just... change. i wont. ive known that. for a long time.

anyways zach galifinakskys has a shitty normie voice and shouldnt have voiced the joker. like if hes going to voice the joker he can at least TRY to sound more eccentric, it is way too bizarre hearing that bland voice coming from that particular villain

#the movie had some real great jokes and references #i def recommend it #though obvs it has plenty of problem things too what big movie doesnt

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