#i think we should just make a discord server and treat it like a dash FJKDHG

[risingsunresistance]

i am not even joking when i say that every. other. tweet. is an ad. there is no following page anymore, it's "see the people you followed SOMETIMES and then get 20 ads about the latest crypto scam"

[sunseteyes]

goodbye

i have been thinking about this for over a month and i have finally decided to leave this blog. please click see more to read more:)

the days were good and fun until it lasted. i shared lots of smiles, and laughs but i think this is the time to finally stop and let go. 

i don’t know if this will be permanent or just for the time being, but i admit i have been very discouraged to post here again. i don’t want to make anyone guilty, not at all. i just have been not in a right place and i have tried to go back and try to refresh my good feelings here in this blog, but something just seemed different and heavy, i could not stand it. that is the reason why i only post fics and rarely post or send an ask for my regular checkups. i’m really sorry, but i knew all of this from the start of the year when the tarot cards told me i will finally let go of something that i didn’t want to let go—the first thing i thought about was this blog. i love this blog, i love everyone, but i should love myself more. i don’t feel like myself whenever i post here anymore, sure i have been before and i also post fics recently, but that’s because i love writing—it’s my only sense of self left. i think i’m becoming unfair the more i post fics and never interact, i’m really sorry. i kept wanting interaction but i guess it’s my fault at the same time. 

to everyone i have met here, thank you. you guys have been very welcoming and kind i am so glad to meet you. 

i might be deleting my discord app as well so if you want to kick me out on the server,,, i won’t be mad hahah. 

in short, I am going to turn my back to the things that remind me of this blog. yes, i will still write at the sidelines, but i’m just-it hurts me to be on this blog anymore. i’m… sorry if it ended up this way… but if i regain my love for this blog, i may go back, but there are really no guarantees. 

also a special mention to map anon for being the only anon who have been so interactive at me and for making me smile everytime i see them—i love you so much! i hope that we’d get to interact if i ever come back here or in another blog. you are my only pride and joy<3 hahahah thank you so much i hope the best for you :D

to my wifey and one of my closest, @giyuus-wife & @tinytravelerkitten ohgod you guys are the best. i’m not the best at communicating but you’re both still there for me it’s insane. i love you both so much!! and ai, omg your drawings are so beautiful please don’t ever waste your talent !! 

to @shintaroos you are so so kind to contact me even through my break i’m so sorry i’m just not the best to talk to i feel so bad:((( me and kou loves you mari !!! 

to @eitabun i was so looking forward to our friendship but,, it hurts me to be here anymore. i also want to co-op with you in genshin and tbh i started playing it again when you mentioned it across my dash. i’ve been addicted since hehehe. thank you so much for everything, i was really flattered when you tagged me as kenma’s player two i was like “omg” and i was just-i wanted to be much closer to you. i’m really sorry that we didn’t get to talk more. if you ever want to connect, just tell it to me:) 

and lastly to @katsukichu babe i cannot thank you enough you are so so so kind and sweet and lovely to send me motivations and stuff thank you very much. my day turns a little bit brighter i see your notif (which is the only notif i have for discord btw nxnsjsj sad life). i hope you will be happy and have someone who treats you just as you treated me. you’re such a huge blessing, thank you. 

and that’s it! this is gela from sunseteyes production, signing out! see you when i see you<3 

(also i’ll have a very last kenma fic coming up! It’s a collab and it’s the oneshot i’ve been working on as of the moment. I’m not yet halfway there and i think it will be my longest fic yet? Hopefully, it would be recognized more but i won’t be here anyway so it doesn’t matter. Please stay safe everyone, goodbye!)

[sdvvillagers]

Fic - Marnie and Gil

Received a writing prompt in a Discord server I’m in that assigned me two random SDV characters to build a story around.  How screwed did I feel when I got Marnie and Gil? 😂I ended up remembering that awhile back I’d answered an ask for Marnie and Marlon which can be found HERE and it inspired me to write a follow-up.  The first part isn’t really required reading, but I figured I’d include it in case anyone wanted to check out the first part as well.  I hope you enjoy some very unexpected Marnie and Gil interaction!  It was very challenging but very fun to think outside the box for this one!

It was a long walk across town square and up the mountain to the lake but time somehow flew by in Marnie’s excitement.  The day before had been the spring Flower Dance and for the first time in over a decade, Marnie actually enjoyed herself.  Hopes of enjoying the Flower Dance had been dashed very early on by Mayor Lewis and when it seemed as though another lonely, miserable Flower Dance would pass, she was rescued by the most unexpected savior; Marlon.  Marlon showed her kindness and empathy while Lewis had only shown her callousness and disdain.  Though Marnie had always wanted a partner to dance with at the Flower Dance, it was actually okay to spend an afternoon with Marlon in a secluded corner of the forest clearing.

Time spent talking and laughing with Marlon seemed to fly by and before she knew it, the event was over.  Marnie was actually quite disappointed when the festival had ended, Marlon wasn’t someone she often saw day to day in town.  In fact, she only ever saw him at town festivals.  As Marlon was leaving the forest to return to his secluded home in the mountains, Marnie made a bold move and asked if she could see him again sometime.  Though he was very caught off guard by her request, it brought a warm smile to his heavily scarred face and the eye that was visible had crinkles in the corner from his happiness.  Marlon invited her to visit him in the mountains the very next day and Marnie was eager to see him once more after they had spent such a lovely afternoon together.  She had been hurt too many times to allow herself to feel too hopeful, but even she couldn’t subdue the small glimmer of hope she felt deep down that Marlon could be someone in her life that would treat her right and appreciate her.  It was sad that these were how low her standards had fallen over the years.

Marnie stopped outside of the cabin when she arrived, taking a moment to lean against a tree to catch her breath.  It was a trek across town that took over an hour and Marnie certainly didn’t want to appear winded and short of breath when she entered.  It was no wonder Marlon very rarely came into town, the walk up and down the mountain was difficult enough one time let alone multiple times a week.  By the time Marnie finally caught her breath, she took an extra few seconds to flatten her hair and straighten her dress before knocking on the door to the cabin.  From the other side of the door she heard a gruff response of “come in” that didn’t quite sound like Marlon, but the door was so thick that his voice was coming across distorted.

When Marnie stepped into the doorway of the small cabin, her eyes scanned the room.  It hadn’t occurred to her until now that she’d never been inside of the mysterious Adventurer’s Guild in the mountains.  It was never often she found herself in the mountains anyway and the few times she made the trek there, she only went as far as Robin’s cabin.  Inside was a small, rustic room that matched well with the exterior of the building.  Marnie’s eyes traveled to the counter at the back of the room with a lopsided frown.  It was difficult to remember that Marlon was a business owner himself, his services weren’t exactly anything Marnie required.  In fact, the more she thought about it, she couldn’t really think of anyone in town that would require Marlon’s services and she wondered how he was able to keep such a niche business running.  Before she could think on it any longer, she heard a low rumble to her right of someone clearing their throat loudly for the purpose of catching her attention.  They certainly had it.

“You just gonna stand in the doorway and let the bugs in?” a gruff voice called out to her right.  Marnie jumped in surprise, she hadn’t seen the figure in the rocking chair until he spoke.  “Close the damn door!”

“Oh, I-uh, I’m so sorry,” Marnie sputtered, rushing further into the room to close the door behind her.

The rocking chair to the right of the room stopped moving and the figure whose face had been hidden under the brim of his gambler hat tilted his head upward to reveal not much more of a face than was visible before.  The majority of this man’s face was covered by a bushy grey beard.  However, now his intense blue eyes, flanked by wrinkles and creases, were visible as he stared at Marnie.  Marnie had known that Marlon lived with someone else in his secluded cabin, but there were many that thought this other person couldn’t possibly exist.  He had never been seen anywhere in town in decades despite Marlon mentioning him every so often at town festivals.  Marlon alone was barely seen in town but this other man almost seemed like a ghost story.

“You must be Marnie,” the man remarked.  He made no effort to rise from his rocking chair, though he nodded in Marnie’s direction as a small show of welcome.  At least Marnie hoped it was welcoming.

“Y-yes I am,” Marnie stammered, still very put off by this man’s intense gaze.  “I apologize, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Gil,” the man spat in reply.

“Well it’s a, uh… it’s a pleasure to meet you, Gil,” Marnie replied kindly.  She crossed the room to shake Gil’s hand but pulled back when she noticed him subtly recoil.  Perhaps he wasn’t fond of strangers, especially considering he’d supposedly lived in the valley for decades but never made it a point to visit town.  She glossed over her almost handshake by looking around the room in search of Marlon.  “Is Marlon home right now?”

“In the mines,” Gil answered shortly.  This short answer seemed a decent enough explanation for Gil, though it only raised further questions for Marnie.  Marnie didn’t dare ask any, though.  Gil seemed bothered enough already by her presence.

A silence passed between them as Marnie stood between the empty counter and Gil, unsure of where she should linger while she waited for Marlon.  Though Marnie was incredibly uncomfortable by the silence, Gil didn’t seem to mind it at all.  He sat back in his rocking chair and tilted his head down once more to cover his eyes, resuming the gentle back and forth rocking of his chair.  With each motion, a high pitched creak came from the seat of the old wooden chair.  Weathered strips were worn onto the hardwood floor beneath the rockers as though this were a very regular activity of his.  To pass the time Marnie glanced along the walls of the small room, but there wasn’t much to see.  A few weapons were displayed along the wall but for the most part, the room was very minimalistic.  Marlon and Gil seemed to live a modest life in their home.  After what felt like an eternity, Marnie finally couldn’t take the awkward tension in the room and had to break the silence.

“How long have you and Marlon been living together?” Marnie asked casually.

The rocking of Gil’s chair stopped and he tilted his head up once more to look at Marnie with his same harsh gaze.  It really was difficult to tell if this was just his usual expression or if he was legitimately annoyed by the disruption.  Gil was a difficult man to get a read on.  His brow furrowed as his face screwed up in thought and he silently mulled the answer over for nearly 30 seconds before speaking to her.

“‘Bout 50 years,” Gil finally answered plainly.  He answered as though there was nothing at all astonishing about five decades spent living with the same person.

“Oh!” Marnie called out in surprise.  She knew that the two of them had lived in Pelican Town together for quite some time, but somehow hearing out loud just how long the two had lived together put it into greater perspective.  It hadn’t occurred to Marnie until she really thought about it that maybe their relationship was more than anyone had ever considered before.  “So… are you two…”

Though Gil was never social with anyone in town, he certainly wasn’t ignorant to social nuance and could tell right away what Marnie was attempting to ask.  Marnie was surprised to hear a gruff bark of laughter from Gil and see him smile for the first time since she’d met him.  It seemed he was incredibly amused by her question.

“I always wondered what everyone in town must think,” Gil mused.

“No, I wasn’t trying to- I didn’t mean to-” Marnie sputtered, but Gil barked in amusement once more.

“Frankly I don’t give a damn,” Gil went on plainly.  “What we have has worked for this long, don’t really matter what we call it.  I ain’t much for caring what other people think.”

“As well you shouldn’t,” Marnie answered casually, though on the inside she was starting to feel very confused.

Gil hadn’t exactly answered her question but at this point, she wasn’t about to ask for clarification.  Already she was thinking back to the day she and Marlon had spent together the day before trying to make sense of it all.  Silence passed as Marnie tried to interpret every conversation they’d had, every compliment he gave, every good feeling she’d felt.  This time it was Gil who broke the silence, clearly noticing the distress that Marnie was feeling.

“Marlon’s quite fond of you, Miss Marnie,” Gil finally spoke up.  “Thinks you’re a real nice friend.”

The word ‘friend’ put all of Marnie’s thoughts into harsh perspective and she could feel her small glimmer of hope extinguish.  Without meaning to, Marnie audibly sighed and hunched her shoulders forward, her head hanging low in disappointment.  She was unlucky in love yet again.

“S’matter, you all filled up on friends?” Gil asked bluntly.  Marnie immediately straightened her shoulders and lifted her head high.  She felt rude for reacting the way she did.

“N-no, that’s not it, I-” Marnie answered, but Gil clearly hadn’t finished speaking yet and barreled on without even acknowledging Marnie’s answer.  It was certainly clear that he was out of practice socially speaking.

“Personally, I ain’t got a need for friends,” Gil went on, a subtle look of disgust on his face at the word ‘friends’.  “Not Marlon, though.  Marlon’s always wanted to be a little more social than I am.  ‘Specially now in his old age.  Talks about you a lot, Miss Marnie.  He thinks highly of you.”

“I think highly of him,” Marnie answered honestly.  At the very least it was flattering to hear the kind words that Gil spoke to her.  She couldn’t exactly imagine him being the type to make something up just to cheer her up so she had to assume his words were genuine.

“You probably didn’t come here today hopin’ for a friend but I can promise you won’t find a greater friend out there than Marlon,” Gil said sincerely.  “But if that’s not what you’re interested in, well, you know where the door is.”

Gil was blunt and most certainly hadn’t developed the social grace necessary to sugar coat anything, but in this instance Marnie appreciated his honesty.  He was correct, she hadn’t shown up today looking for a friend, but it was nice to know from the very start that this was all she was going to get.  It was better than whatever she had going on with Lewis which she still couldn’t make sense of even after all this time.  Marnie couldn’t blame Marlon for giving her an incorrect impression, if anything the blame fell on her for being too eager.  But having a kind man like Marlon in her life, even as just a friend, sounded wonderful.

“I think I’d like to stay,” Marnie answered with a nod.

“He should be back any minute now,” Gil remarked, leaning back against his chair to resume rocking.  “‘Til then, try not to make too much noise.  You’re already interrupting quality time with my best friend.”  Gil patted the arm of his rocking chair and laughed to himself at his little joke before tilting his head low once more to resume dozing off.

Marnie smiled at Gil as he rocked back and forth in his chair, already tuning her very presence out.  He was such an odd man yet she found him to be incredibly fascinating.  It was made very clear that he would never be in a position to want or need anyone in his life beyond Marlon, but the thought that she would likely see much more of him as her friendship with Marlon blossomed made her oddly excited.  Today was proving to be a day full of pleasant surprises.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

My Letter to You

nAs I look back on what this year has brought me, I can easily say that you are the best gift I have received.  You have made me smile and laugh more than anyone else ever could and I will forever be grateful to you for making my 2020 more bearable than I had ever imagined that it would be.  I never would’ve thought that you and this blog would end up meaning as much to me as it did, but I wouldn’t ask for a different experience.  We’ve worked hard to build up to this point and I am so glad that I get to bring in the new year right alongside each and every one of you.  You have dealt with my antics and just me behaving like an absolute heathen because I have zero filter and you’ve accepted that aspect of me wholeheartedly, something I haven’t had from someone in a very long time, so thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me the world and letting me expand upon your wildest dreams, for talking to me, and for being my friend.  I love you now.  I will love you tomorrow.  And I will love you every tomorrow after that.  May your 2021 be filled with as much happiness as you have brought me over these past few months.

Much love xx 

Maddi

bonk more personal letters under the cut~

To Micchi (@sanso) - you are the light of my life, one of the sweetest people that I ever could’ve had the opportunity to meet and I don’t think that I could ever put into words how much fun I have talking with you and seeing you in the discord server or even just on my dash.  I love you with ever fiber of my being and please, my raccoon loving, coffee-obsessed darling, take care and I hope that you smile bright today 💕

To Alice @cherryonigiri - there is no way to express how grateful I am for you.  you are such a genuinely kind person and I never would’ve had the opportunities to make so many friends and meet so many wonderful people if it weren’t for you.  You’re doing amazing things and you will continue to do amazing things.  You are so incredible and I am still trying to figure out how someone like you could possibly exist 😭 you’re just so cool????

To El @neonghxst - the oh-so-incredibly-talented darling.  you never fail to make me laugh and smile.  we don’t interact much, but the few times that we have, I have always told myself that I should talk to you more and then i never did because i’m a scared little coward but it is time to change that 😤 and we will 😤 continue being wonderful and amazing in this upcoming year and i look forward to what you will bring to the world 🥺💕

To Thalia @ush7jima - my wife my beautiful stunning incredible wife 🤩 words cannot describe how much I love and cherish you.  you are amazing in every sense of the word.  your kindness and how genuine you always are will never fail to amaze me.  You’re going to do amazing things, sweetheart and I can’t wait to be there when you do 🥺

To Elle @nekxrizawa - i love you bitch i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you biiiiiiitch ahahhahaaha thank you for being my everything, my absolute best friend for these past few months, for staying up with me for every single art project, and then proceeding to fall asleep while I down my third cup of coffee in a two hour period 🤩

To Lay @tokyosdawn - YOU ARE SO DAMN SWEET W H A T ????? things i do not deserve? Lay. I’m so glad that we have become mutuals and had the opportunity to become friends ugh i love you that is all no thoughts head empty only my love for you

To Nona @catharsisbabey - aka THE OTHER WIFE 🤩🤩 nona, you are so incredible and your brain is just so amazing?? I’m still hung up on the goose game fic and i don’t think that I will ever get over it 😭😭 you’re photoshop skills? I M M A C U L A T E.  every time i see you on my dash or in my inbox my heart gets all happy because you’re just so god damned fun and wonderful and I hope 2021 is good to you sweetie 🥺

To Deep @deephasoceanmagic - my new mutual and my VP to my daishou fan club 🤩 we may be new friends, but there is no denying the absolute godliness of our time together.  I hope that we have even more opportunities to laugh and obsess in this new year 🥺

To Gracie @gg9183 - MISS MAAM YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO ME AND GOD DAMN 😭😭 YOU MAKE ME SO DAMN HEAD EMPTY AND IT. IS. NOT. FAIR. 😭😭 but i thank the heavens for every single thing you send me. you are blessing and i love you so very much

To my anons - thank you for being you 🥺 and for keeping me company and making me laugh and smile and I am so so glad to have you.  thank you 💕💕

To Eve @quilledinkpen - bonk hi i love you. ugh you’re so sweet?  and funny? and I’m just???? in awe at your talent? you’re such an incredible artist and I love seeing your work on my dash 😭 you’re so good please madam spare the talent

To Onyx @boosyboo9206 - there is nothing that i can say to you here that i haven’t told you a million times, but I am so grateful to have you.  I am so glad that we have had the opportunity to become friends and bond over our obsession with tattoo artist kuroo and thank you for indulging me in all of my daishou head empty thoughts ✌😭 lord knows they never fucking stop.  you are so kind and genuine and absolutely stunning inside and out 😭 i hope that 2021 treats you as good as I know Kuroo would 🥺💕

[lnarizakis]

SAM HIT 1K !

hey, everyone! a few days ago i hit 1k followers and i’m so excited to share with you all this news! it’s been six months of writing, posting, and making new friends, and i’ve recognized the results of all of my efforts. thank you to everyone who’s been with me on this journey, even if i met you in march, or just yesterday!

i acknowledge that in the past i’ve been selfish and self-conscious about that number, but everyday i’m grateful that i have a growing number of people who have my back, supporting me, even if it’s through a simple like or even an anonymous ask telling me they really enjoyed a particular work of mine.

and, with everything you do in life, you encounter people who will support you, make your life better, and just know how to help you up when you’ve fallen: friends. that being said, i want to write a letter to all the friends i’ve made on here since i don’t know when i’ll be able to get the next chance to . . .

TRIS , i remember seeing you appear in the comments of almost all of my posts and i just want to thank you personally for always supporting what i have. you don’t realize how much every little comment means to me, really! it always puts a smile on my face to see you comment something and it feels like i’ve accomplished something, so thank you. @tris-does-stuff

HANA , you really don’t know how happy you’ve made me when you told me you were a fan of mine. it just... shocked me? to know that i have people out there that genuinely support what i do? we only really started talking for a couple of days but i feel a strong connection between the two of us (it really may be our matching mbti types, too!) and i’m so glad to be able to call you my friend. you didn’t hear this from me, but i constantly look back at the #anon makes me happy tag and read through those anonymous messages you sent me. i love them (and you) very much! @wansseul

ELLIOT , i know you as one of my biggest supporters for coaches don’t play, and i find that really heartwarming to see that even after, what, two months since i’ve updated, you reblogged it with the tag #thank you for updating! ! i was so happy to see that, and you even proceeded to send in an ask about it afterwards too! i know we don’t really talk often—but i definitely think we should— but i know that you’re so incredibly sweet, especially after i was having that rough slump of mine i think last month. you were so kind to tell me that you’d always be here if i need to talk with someone, so thank you very much. i’m very grateful to have met you! @keiyoomi

JJ , hey, jj!!! i know we haven’t talked in a hot second, but look! i’ve reached 1k followers! i remember you were around during my coaches don’t play days, and that you always sent an ask after almost every update. sometimes i fiind myself looking back at them and smiling, knowing that you were enjoying what i wrote, so thank you very much! i want to say another thank you for being there for me when i was feeling really down in the dumps, and for taking the time out of your day to write me a message on discord. i’m so grateful that you did so, and i hope life treats you well. also! i began reading the great gatsby for school, so we should talk about it sometime hehehe. @kunimwuah

DOVE , aka uvogin anon, dovey lovey, my favorite inbox invader! i . honestly don’t know how we met. like one day u just appeared in my inbox and BAM ! we started talking! and i don’t regret every single thing i send into your inbox (even beany cock) . i always look forward to whenever you send things in my inbox and i really mean it when i say you’re my favorite inbox invader >:) it makes me so happy to see you active on tumblr and to see what you bring me everyday. i am very grateful you’re in my life, and i hope we continue to talk more and more! @fantasiesofdreams

SAL , i remember the first time i talked with you! you liked one of my posts and i was like oh she seems cool, i’m gonna follow her and congratulate her on 400 followers. and soon enough, we started tagging each other in those tag games and later we just grew closer and closer! i’m so happy that we got really close and it always brightens my day to see you on my dash; you never fail to put a smile on my face. thank you so much for being my friend and always being there when i need a good laugh! @sugaanoya

AI , ai, ai love you! i remember following you for your “be my boyfriend” series, and i hope it continues on your new blog (no promises, of course!). i also was there during your blank kita era, and it was honestly something that made me laugh out loud. i’m pretty sure i turned on notifications for you at that point because i was so invested with this drama. you’re just an insanely nice person whose kindness rivals your love for suna (or is it sakusa? your disloyalty, tsk... just kidding!!!). i know that we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i will be sure to hop in your inbox and stay for a while some time soon. thank you so much for being my friend and i hope you stay happy and healthy! @wiintiier

KAI , aka caca wife! i remember when we started talking on rircus, and at first i didn’t really know who you were, until one fateful night when the conversation about caca happened. at that moment i knew we had similar senses of humor and i remember that i couldn’t stop laughing. it was the caca madness! if i’m being completely honest, i look up to you as a big sister that i’ve never had and i really appreciate you for that, so thank you for being in my life! @lcaita

NAOMI , aka newmie! i remember we first started talking in rircus and i want to thank you for welcoming me so kindly in the server, and especially during the first night we talked, which is when i had a problem and you helped me out immensely. i just want to say thank you for every time that you’ve helped me, talked to me, and made me feel better when i felt less than okay. i’m so glad that i’ve met you and i hope you accomplish great things in your life. @kuraomi

MICKIE , probably one of the only people on discord whose mesages i find myself laughing at a lot. you’re always brightening up the mood wherever you go, and i always find myself looking towards what you have to say today. thanks for that! i also think about that (may i say, really funny) exchange between the two of us on here when you went: “oh god i can’t believe HE’S almost dead ahhh” and i have no idea who you were talking about so i went “omg it’s sero,” and you went on this LONG RANT and it was just so funny to me!!! thanks for always putting a smile on my face. and also! thank you so, so much for suggesting that i get curtain bangs, a decision i really don’t regret! i was afraid i was going to hate them, but i find myself looking in the mirror a lot and thinking: “wow, that is a whole different person.” in a good way! so thank you very much. @tokyoghoose

GERE , aka my ex-wife... sorry about that :( . i never got to say sorry for that but the caca bond runs strong, i hope you understand. i just want you to know how much of a kind person you are, and especially how welcoming you are, too. i was so glad to be welcomed so kindly in your server and it’s become one of my favorites to talk in. i also want you to know, that especially with current times, that things will get better and i’m so glad you’re staying positive with everything going on recently. i love you for you, please remember that!!! @t-amajiki

ISSA , omg, girly pop. hahahaha!!! issa, you’re such a genuine person and i remember meeting you for the first time on rircus. you welcomed me with open arms and you were just the kindest person i met on there. you’re someone who’s just so beautiful inside and out, and the way you’re so large and in charge with your feelings is something i really admire about you. i know we don’t talk so often, but i hope we do. i want to thank you for being my friend, and especially always making me laugh! i love you very much, issa! @indigohitoshi

KYLIE , kylie!!!! the co-founder of our son, iwaizumi hajime. this was literally peak popularity and i knew i was never to get as many notifications as i did in that moment. of everyone i could have shared the account with, i am so glad that i was able to do it with you because we were able to grow closer because of that. now we have this weird inside joke that our son gets mad cooch, and that every day we must think of in another life. where are the daily in another life tiktoks??? of course, our son isn’t the only thing i associate with you. you’re such a kind, hilarious, and genuine person, and to be honest, sometimes i really worry for your wellbeing. get some more sleep, kyl!!! you deserve it. i want you to be grucchi, not tired and wanting to die. thank you so, so much for being my friend, and i am so happy that i met you! @peppermintkiddo

TO, LIKE, EVERYONE FROM RIRCUS , the best people i could ever meet. i’m sorry i couldn’t write an individual letter to all of you, since we haven’t interacted so often for me to pick out one specific memory that i could hold and cherish, but know that every time i come on rircus and talk with you, it is a moment that i will always remember! thank you so much for being my friends and i love you all so, so incredibly much. @kaoyuuuuu @reogou @haikyuu-but-low-iq @yooooooooooomi @samdwich @kenmauwus @shirasusgf @macaronnv @king-kawa

TO EVERYONE THAT CONSTANTLY LIKES, REBLOGS, OR COMMENTS ON MY WORK , you know who you are. i know who you are. i can literally tag you right now. but i think i’ll prefer to keep the anonymity. thank you so much for sharing my work, giving me feedback, and everything. it mean so much to me, especially if there’s a comment attached to the reblog. you make me do a little happy dance!!! i love you so much for what you do and i hope you continue to support me in every way possible!

FOR PEOPLE THAT I MISS/PROBABLY WON’T READ THIS

MEL , hi mel! i’m not very sure if you will read this, but i am so happy that i met you and that we began talking. i remember we began talking after i asked for people to send in memes for that meme war against my sister. i told you i won, right? well, i did. ahhaha anyways, i am very sad that we sort of grew apart and i hope that we can begin talking again soon. you were the highlight of my spring semester. i enjoyed talking with you so much. but i hope that you and your family are currently doing well and that you stay happy and healthy! i miss you very much, melon, thank you for being a part of my life!

RAENAH , hi rae! i think meeting you was a blessing, to be honest. i can’t remember a time when i was utterly annoyed by your presence, nor was i ever mad with you. you are such a kind person with such a pure heart, and during your time on tumblr you really showcased it for everyone to see. you were literally with me from literally the very beginning, during the “my name is...” days, and all i can say is that i am blessed to have met you! thank you so much for lighting up my life, talking to me whenever you made the time, and especially playing minecraft with me. it was so fun, even if it was for a short while. i hope you had as much fun as i had! again, thank you so much for supporting, befriending, and getting to know me because i will never forget you on tumblr dot com. i hope you stay well and make sure you rest often, especially with uni! @a-kaashi

MIYU , where has miyu gone? just kidding. i know you’re there. i hope you read this because i don’t want to tag your new blog. anyways, i just want you to know you make my dash ten times better. it’s literally so boring without you spicing it up, with you talking with anons and your mutuals. i definitely think i should invade your inbox more, what do you think? when i was starting on tumblr, you were a very big inspiration to me and i am very proud of all the works you write. you still are someone i look up to as a writer, because you have such a creative spirit and it makes me so happy you’re able to showcase it for everyone to see. i hope you are staying healthy and well right now, and thank you so much for being my friend!

GIGI , poop. i genuinely miss you very much, but i know that school takes a priority for you. i hope you’re doing well with your classes and that you find the man of your dreams. hopefully it is not the skater boy because you deserve someone as insanely hot as kurapika. no cap. i remember during my chrollo pfp guy craze you were there to deter me away from liking him, but let me just tell you, we’re getting closer tbh. ;) . just kidding, we really aren’t, but we’ve been talking quite a bit. i also want to tell you that you’re someone who’s made me smile with everything you say, and i find myself sometimes typing the way you do. you’re an influence, gigi! please stay happy and healthy and make sure you get lots of rest during your time at school! @gigiwrite

MARS , best for last, am i right? i’m not really sure when i first saw you on my blog, but i remember you’ve been here for a very, very long time. i think it was back in july when we first started talking. you were 🦊 anon, and it made me so happy to read that you felt comfortable enough to reveal yourself! from there, i knew we had a bond from the way we interacted with one another. you’re just such a kind person and you show that to everyone you meet. it’s a quality i wish i had in myself and i really look up to you for your genuinity. sometimes i feel like i don’t thank you enough for how kind you are to me, but just know that with every time i talk i’m always grateful that you’re in my life and that i’ve met you. i know you’re someone i can always lean on and i hope you see me the same. thank you so much for being in my life; you’re someone who means a lot to me. @maru5hka

TO BASICALLY EVERYONE HERE

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1K!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. i am so grateful for each and every one of you; you guys are so hot and sexy. i am so grateful to have met you all, even if it was just a simple “you’re added to the taglist!” or a “thank you so much!” i count it as you being my friend and you interacting with me. you guys aren’t my followers; you’re my friends. thank you so much for being my friend and being here for all of my weird shenanigans i have up my sleeve, whether it be my meme war against my sister, my obsession for blue lock, and my huge crush on chrollo pfp guy. well, here’s to me for being sappy and here’s to many more!

[jtrbluv]

“F 2020!” - TXT

it’s 3:30am and i’m 2 lazy to make a header so here’s yoongi, i promise i have nicer handwriting

wow, i literally have no idea where to start. it’s almost my three year anniversary of being on this hellsite, but i think i can definitely say that 2020 has probably been one of my favorite years by far, and i am really grateful for it. i think 2020 was a year i was able to improve a lot in my writing despite not producing and releasing a lot of content. quarantine finally allowed me to actually sit down and focus on writing more than i ever have before, and shit, it felt good! it finally felt like i was able to write for myself and not just to please others, and it felt so rewarding rawr (•̀ᴗ•́)و

to all my followers, thank you all so so much. each and every single one of you are a huge reason as to why i’m still here and continue to write. all the likes, reblogs, comments, asks, and more mean the absolute world to me and other writers as well. i think as content creators we can all say that we all go back and scroll through all your messages. thank you for continuing to support me and hopefully i can manage to gift more fics to you this year! luv u all so much <33

to all my mutuals, whether we’ve talked once, twice, never, or a lot, thank you so much for letting me into your world! i really appreciate and luv each and every one of you and always enjoy seeing you all around my dash, we love 2 see it!! i wish you all the best and pls never hesitate to talk to me, i’ll always be here through but especially to support you and hype you all up!! >:) <33

i was going to tag people, but i don’t wanna risk missing anyone T-T. hopefully, you all know who you are :)) just know i luv u fr

lastly, here are some sappy ass luv letters to some of you in particular, sry in advance 🥶🥶

@koushiningg - yeah, of course your ass is going first. hey jae bae, bestie 4L, partner-in-crime, the one person who’s read every, and i mean EVERY single one of my fics. it irks me how much you’re always able to write out your feelings towards the people you care about, bc i SUCK at it! so yes, thank you so much for just being you, i’ll write u a sappy long letter for ur grad email but for now, thank u so much for putting up with my dumbass, listening to me ramble abt the ideas i get at the asscrack of dawn, reading my fics, supporting me in everything that i do. i love u sm fr. here is to the year that we’ve been waiting for, 2021. let’s make it our year.

@taehyungieskith - mika bae........ to think that you were still a local this year is so silly to think abt, i still remember us in the 400s and me giving u song recs in the band room GAHAHDHAJ. i love the little book club type shit we be doing, i always love ur recs duh wtf. thank u twin for always hyping up my stuff and thank god u arent on wattpad anymore mhm love u twin jumi #2 fr

@viopera - VIO!!! we’ve met recently but it feels like i’ve known u for awhile now. literally i’m so happy cuz i remember telling u to write fics and u were straight up like “no.” and now here we are RAWR! u should know this by now and u probably do but i will always be ur #1 supporter and eternal beta-reader. i hope you’re feeling better and ily my fav corpse stan and bad bitch!!!!

@bangtans-peaceful-piegon - AHH PIDGE!!! if i can remember correctly, you were one of the first people i actually talked to on the fic hub server and wow you are just the cutest and literal sweetest thing. we clicked so easily and the vibes u give off are just absolutely impeccable. i love u and i’m always here for u !!! <33

@sugacouture - AYO MEI!!! istg we literally just started talking frfr like a couple days ago but it’s like i’ve known u for years, like wtf. we literally have the same humor and vibes and it’s been rly swag talking to u. i am also more than happy to be ur eternal beta-reader and header helper if that wasn’t already clear duh <3 yeah you are so cute and you write so well that it’s unfair. mhm. unfair. *inserts that one taekook photo* love u, i’ll kidnap u and we’ll get boba and pho <3

@dreamystuffers - RACH!!!!!! rach you truly mesmerize me bc you are so freaking multi-talented, it leaves me in awe. i’m so happy you’ve continued to do what you do luv!! i will always be here and supporting u thru whatever u do!!! luv u sm!! <33

@tatastaetae - marria bby! hi!! ik we don’t talk that much but when we do you’re always such a joy to talk to! the range in ur fics is insane and i always love 2 see it! love u sm and i’m always here for u luv (i swear i’ll be more active on servers wjdjsjjds)

@pjmsdior - bella!!! we haven’t talked for that long either but i always love meeting fil moots!!! you are the sweetest thing and just know that i’ll always be here for u if u need anyone to talk to!!! if i was rich, i’d buy us both new phones in a heartbeat bc our phone literally hate us and for WHAT. kk luv u bella mwah <3

@suhdays - MO! oh my i rly do mean it when i say that u have got to be one of the sweetest and most genuine ppl i’ve met so far this year on this hellsite. ty for making me feel so welcome on the discord servers and networks despite me not being super active on there. when i do get money, i do wish to buy from your etsy shop T-T ,, you are literally the best and deserve the world mo, love u !

@jinpanman - mai! hiii!!! i know we don’t talk much but i’d just like to thank u for the sheer kindness and sweetness you’ve always treated me with! on the occasions that we do talk, you are such a sweetheart omg. ur fics are absolutely to die for and ilysm bby <3

@softguks - AHHDHJE LAUR! when i save u best 4 last <3. we’ve honestly barely interacted at all but you are the most sweetest thing ever, you make my heart full!!! i hope we’re able to interact more in the future and that u come back soon!

- ur local laur luvbot

my secret admirer, hi! i’m not sure if you’ll see this or not since i obviously can’t tag u, but i rly do appreciate u and all the messages u send 🥺🥺 sometimes i go back to them and read them over bc they’re actually so sweet and this is my first actual anon interaction rawr ;w; like always, i wish u nothing but the best and pls take care ☀️ anon!!! <3

sending luv and good vibes to all of u for the new year, always <3

— love, jumi (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

[violexides]

Slavmaeda- My (Hopefully Only) Statement

Note: The times listed here are mostly in EST. If it is in another time, it will state in parentheses. The other time will usually be Polish time.

Another Note: @slavmaedasaga exists, now, for all the posts. I don’t know who made it.

Possible Blackened-

Fir (aka Firanka)

Sunflower

Marshpy

Daniel

Jago

People who follow Sunflower / Marshpy / Fir / Jago

Gay Nagito Komaeda 

Experiencecarrots

Slavmaedasaga

Monokuma File- At an unspecified time this morning, Sunflower received an anon, posting “Slavmaeda rights” continuously until hitting the character limit. At 9:12 AM, Firanka confirms to receiving a similar ask. At 9:17 AM, Fir announces the case to a public discord server, “Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair”. At 3:50 PM (POLISH TIME), Marshpy receives this ask. At 10:13 AM (or six minutes later, according to Fir), Jago receives a Slavmaeda rights ask. Then, everything went to hell.

TRUTH BULLETS

Alternate Anons: Other anons during this initial period of time were sending Sunflower asks.

“Fir”: One of these anons, not sent by Fir, uses her nickname.

Marshpy’s Account: She states to not having enough bastard energies, as well as her identity as “not Slavic” as proof of her innocence.

See: Marshpy’s Confession.

Marshpy’s Confession: Marshpy admits to sending the asks that went to sunflower and Fir, but none others.

She says she thought it would be funny.

Jago’s Account: [Jago’s] main line of defense is the website & the fact [Jago is] managing a group RP at the same time, [Jago] didnt even have tumblr opened until the situation started.

Jago proves in a screenshot that the first time she opened tumblr was at 10:12 AM.

Sunflower’s Account: She was typing up a character analysis, talking on a server, and answering other posts. Therefore, she did not have time to post these.

Worth noting that later, she would mark the times she was on/off tumblr.

Fir’s Account: She claims to being “confused the entire time”, which she admits herself is a weak alibi. She also states which specific anons she sent sunflower, none of these being the Slavmaeda posts.

See: Fir’s Confession.

Typing Patterns: The first ask was the same set of three “Slavmaeda rights” copy pasted, meaning that every third “Slavmaeda rights”, starting from the first one, had a capital S.

The second was in this same pattern.

The third was in all caps.

The forth had alternating letter capitalization.

Note: After this point, so many asks were coming in that it is hard to establish which typing patterns were used. However, it is worth saying that there were different typing and capitalization patterns.

Notes (Kind of useless but I typed it so whatever): As of typing this, Jago’s post received no notes.

Marshpy’s only received Sunflower and Fir’s declarations of innocence.

Sunflower’s posts received scattered notes.

Fir’s received an unspecified number of notes.

Sunflower’s posts, later, were reblogged frequently by the account “slavmaedasaga”

Daniel’s Account: Daniel is a bastard.

They have no tumblr account, so they can’t leave notes.

Anons can be sent without a tumblr account.

See: Daniel’s Confession.

Jago’s Website: “[It’s] not finished and navigation still is wonky but I can show if I need to prove [I’m] not really paying attention to tumblr rn”

It’s a really dope website not going to lie.

Just. Well done, Jago.

However, this could have been an alibi, planned, as Jago has been watching but suspiciously not contributing much.

Class Trial Rules: Only the first blackened gets punished.

This has nothing to do with anything.

We aren’t a class so technically it’s not a class trial.

But this is still an interesting point, motivation wise.

RickRolling Part One: Daniel is a bastard and a Mikan Kinne.

Deleted Message: Fir paraphrases it as “[trial participants] haven’t noticed something.”

This was deleted.

Daniel sent it.

Threat: “The Slavmaeda Revolution will continue without you” was sent to Marshpy at 10:31 AM.

Daniel claims this was not them.

Fir’s Confession: Fir claims to have sent the Slavmaeda asks to Jago and Marshpy, but did not send the Slavmaeda Revolution asks.

Rickrolling Ask: Someone copy and pastes the lyrics to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and sends it to Fir. After maybe a minute, she receives another Slavmaeda Rights ask.

This Slavmaeda Rights has the same typing patterns as Marshpy’s, except it cuts itself off at the end with a dash.

Threat Redux: Sunflower receives an ask that says “the slavmaeda nation shall remain eternal”

Gay-Nagito-Komaeda’s Account: They just follow Fir and are confused.

They’re innocent it’s just worth noting.

They later joined the Tropical Despair Discord Server.

Sunflower’s Ask: “slavmaeda is inevitable. succumb.”

10:55 AM.

Unsettling Truth: There is no way to track this, because, while certain asks have to have been sent by people in the server contextually, there could be people following Sunflower sending her asks, Fir sending her asks, etc.

Re: The Unsettling Truth: “Slavmaeda has already infiltrated your little trial. You are not safe there. Submit to the revolution.”

10:58 AM

Sunflower’s New Ask: The same Slavemaeda Rights that came with the Rickroll Fir received.

Sunflower’s Time Off Tumblr: 11:07 AM-11:09

11:20 AM-

Other Shit: “Rick rolling is the Slavmaeda National Anthem” (11:09 AM) (Fir)

Slavmaeda Rights (Robyn) (11:11 AM)

“Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda” (Fir) (11:13) (not an anon, sent as daniel)

Daniel’s Confession: This fucking Mikan Kinnie.

Sent “a lot of [fir’s asks]” and “sent the revolution one to marshpy��

Experiencecarrots: “slavmaeda is the only alibi :)”

I’m gonna be honest, nobody on this server claims to be carrots.

So I have no fucking clue what is going on.

By the way, [I] is Sunflower.

THOUGHTS BEFORE POSTING:

It’s so fucking hard to track so I’m not sure if this is even accurate. This is the most information I’ve got. I’m also tired, so I haven’t looked through this in too much depth. But I think this is correct.

HANGMAN’S GAMBIT

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

r e v o l u t i o n

WHITE NOISE

Lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up

EDIT ONE - The server this is on is Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair. 

EDIT TWO - Ignore the Hangman’s Gambit and White Noise, I got carried away.

EDIT THREE - Experiencecarrots confirms to not be on the server. I sort of figured because I think we were mutuals long before this happened, but at the same time, I’m confused as all hell.

EDIT FOUR - Maybe the real culprits were the friends we made along the way.

EDIT FIVE - Carrot’s Account (via tumblr): “Hey hey hey! I only liked the post because I refresh my feed every 2 seconds and like whatever’s there. And I follow pretty much anyone I find, so ha. Also thanks for letting me be a suspect, quite the honor if I say so myself :)” This is regarding claims of being suspicious due to being the first likes on posts, as well as following slavmaedasaga.

EDIT SIX - Gay Nagito Komaeda’s Confession: They sent Fir the rickroll ask, which was incredibly coincidental, considering that they were not in the Tropical Despair Server at the time they sent it, nor at the time Daniel rickrolled us. That was pure fucking luck. Holy shit.

EDIT SEVEN - slavmaedasaga is, most likely, on Tropical Despair. They updated the rickroll post with, in the tags, “komaeda”, meaning that they knew that it was Gay Nagito Komaeda. HOWEVER, I am aware that I updated my post with this information. We have no actual timestamps of who did what exactly, but it was within minutes of each other. My personal thoughts are that this is a person on the server, but I’m not certain.

EDIT EIGHT - slavmaedasaga claims to be a single person. It is worth considering that they could not be, but I have a feeling like they are a single person. 

EDIT NINE - Daniel knows who slavmaedasaga is. It’s probably Daniel, isn’t it. We should have seen that coming. (But I will hold my suspicions until they say it themself.)

EDIT TEN - I want to make a public apology for mistreating my spaghetti. I understand that, in the light of recent allegations regarding slavmaeda and the trial ongoing to find the blackened, it may have appeared as if I have been so caught up in the information that I forgot to treat my spaghetti with care. I assure you in the future that I will never hurt my spaghetti again. 

EDIT ELEVEN - There is now a tumblr blog called “slavmaeda rights”, which is entirely focused on slavmaeda rights. I’m losing my mind.

EDIT TWELVE - Slavmaedarights deleted their post that had “Slavmaeda rights” over and over.

EDIT THIRTEEN - Worth clarifying. There are technically two “og Slavmaeda” people. One is Fir, who started all of this by mentioning the concept of slavmaeda. The other is Marshpy.

EDIT FOURTEEN - Slavmaedasaga is in Tropical Despair. We raised suspicions in this server (More specifically, Gay Komaeda Nagito did) that they were the same as slavmaedarights. They very quickly made a post denying this. Therefore, they have to have been in the server. 

EDIT FIFTEEN - Slavmaedarights posted again (just slavmaeda rights over and over) then deleted it. I never saw this with my two eyes. Marshpy and Gay Nagito Komaeda are eye witnesses. Some of the “S”s in rights were capitalized, according to Marshpy, which is vital to consider. Marshpy claims that there is no isolated S in this post, but she isn’t certain. Also worth considering. A deviation from a familiar pattern, which is interesting. 

EDIT SIXTEEN - TWO CRUCIAL BITS OF INFO! The description of Slavmaedasaga is “Hope” in Bulgarian. Also, Daniel bluffed when they said, in the Tropical Despair server, that they knew who “Saga” is. They just wanted clout. This is important info-- we have no leads on Slavmaedasaga. But we do know that it was likely not Daniel. Daniel accuses Marshpy. who knows. 

EDIT SEVENTEEN - Marshpy was shopping when "Saga” started, and Daniel sent a cryptic smiley face. They claim they were wrong about accusing Marshpy. 

EDIT EIGHTEEN - SLVRights = Damien. They aren’t the same person as SLVSaga. Daniel has shown evidence that they only have one blog. I’m getting funky anons. One anon is the same person, sending theories. There are some others. The theory anon also called me sun, which isn’t explicitly odd but I guess you can consider it. Not sure what else to say. 

EDIT NINETEEN - Haven’t been updating this enough. I’m getting a lot of messages and asks. “Beg. Beg for the answers. Slavmaeda is an unforgiving god. -Damien” was posted, then deleted, on the SLVRights blog in binary. I have an anon in binary. I’m inclined to believe they aren’t the same person. Someone on the server, not related on the tumblr side but helpful on the server side, has a theory. They have yet to say. I have a new ask.

EDIT TWENTY - Firanka wanted me to say that a lot of Tropical Despair people are having wifi issues. I highly doubt this is relevant. Damien posted something. I won’t type it here, because it is long, but I’ll see if I can reblog it. If not, I’ll write a transcript. Thanks for sticking with me. 

EDIT TWENTY ONE - A lot has gone on. Worth saying, I turned off my anonymous asks. Nothing happened. As in like, nobody sent any asks. One of my friends did as a test. I kept it like that for a while. But, as Daniel put it, cryptid hints are better than no hints. 

EDIT TWENTY TWO - Further clarification, for those lost. According to present information, Binary, Saga, and Damien are all separate people. That is as far as we know. I don’t know everyone who did this, so I apologize if I leave certain people out, but Daniel, Nebby, Firanka (there is still suspicion), Glitter (on server), and I have shown screenshots proving we only have our one blog. There are likely loopholes, but... worth considering.

EDIT TWENTY THREE - New stuff surfacing. I’m worried people are getting anxious because of some of this. If you are, please prioritize yourself. Like, literally, even if you’re a huge part of this, if you’re getting stressed? Take a breather. Stay safe. Alright? Not to be the mom of this situation. But it’s important. Take care of yourself. I’m leaving this pinned, but as it winds down, i’m probably gonna unpin this post. But, still here if you ever want to figure stuff out. 

EDIT TWENTY FOUR - Approaching 400 posts. That’s interesting. Also, the suspect list on here isn’t updated. Updated information is in the edits alone. I haven’t even looked at the truth bullets since posting.

EDIT TWENTY FIVE - “Binary” was run by @experiencecarrots. We don’t know who Saga or Damien (now going by just “B”) is. But. Most of this has settled down.

EDIT TWENTY SIX - “Saga” was @firankamipinska. Still waiting for B.

EDIT TWENTY SEVEN - No closer to finding out B. A new day has started. Slavmaedanation has been created. They “declared war” against B. 

EDIT TWENTY EIGHT - @gayer-nagito-komeada was Rights. To be honest. I don’t know how we didn’t see that one coming. But. There you go. They’re Damien/B/Rights. Now it’s just Nation to figure out. 

EDIT TWENTY NINE - Nation is @firankamipinska. I’m not really surprised, probably because she told me she was Nation. Nation was essentially supposed to figure out who Damien was. I was too tired to give much of a shit. I woke up at 7 yesterday. I had no fucking spoons. Zero. 

FINAL EDIT - Four blogs, a discord server, a channel in a discord server, and many friends were made through the Slavmaeda experience. Thank you all for embarking on this crazy ass experience with us. I can’t believe that the day after my birthday, I helped create a meme. Have a nice day. 

[urkingbby]

Hey, lovelies. We wanted to make this admin note to let everyone know that we will be disabling the OOC discord server until Wednesday, October 7th. In the meantime, you are welcome to make occasional OOC posts using the hashtag #luxorooc to give group updates. We are going to ask that everyone please read this post thoroughly, as there are a lot of important things we want everyone to know.

To Start...

We have been running this RP for nearly 16 months and much like we said in our 1 year anniversary post, we are so grateful and excited to have had so many of you with us for so long. I have always taken an interest in groups with dynamic plots that actually progress as a real storyline and because of this, I have always felt so passionate about creating a fun space for everyone that has exciting plot drops, secret reveals and general plot progressions for you all to write and develop your characters within.

With that being said, within the past couple months, we have felt that there has been a shift in energy among the OOC interactions that we want to address. Please send an IM to the main saying, “completed ‘to start’” once you have completed this section.

Our Intention

We want this to be a safe space. We want everyone here to enjoy each other, each others characters, and we want everyone to feel involved and welcome. It is our responsibility to keep this group welcoming and safe. When issues are brought to us (off anon), it is up to us to resolve them and make sure that we can move forward better and happier than before.  Please send an IM to the main saying, “understand your intention” once you have completed this section.

Help Us Help You

At the same time, it is also up to our members (you guys) to make sure to let us know when you are unhappy with something so that we can try our best to get to the bottom of the issue and resolve it. When something is upsetting you, and it is causing you to feel negatively toward the RP or other members in the group, it is also upsetting to us. I, personally, take on way too much responsibility. I’m aware of this, and I’m trying to get better with that but what I don’t think will change is my desire to fix issues that arise.

If something is bothering you and you think it is going to effect the way you feel coming onto the dash every day or effect the way you treat other members, PLEASE bring it to us.

I feel so restless when I get hearsay messages from members about other people feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to tell us about it directly. I want to make sure every single one of you is happy and that you’re enjoying your time here. As a friend, I understand wanting to bring your friend’s concern to us but if they feel uncomfortable with us knowing, then there is nothing we can do. When something is brought to us (off anon), it is up to us to talk it out with everyone involved and make sure we’re all on the same page and can move on happily, but if we do not know about the issue or if we are being told through someone else as a result of the person involved not wanting to “make a thing out of it,” there is nothing we can do to fix that problem.

With that being said, you are more than welcome to keep your discomfort to yourself. What is your business is your business, but if you are deciding not to address and resolve something, you are also deciding that regardless of how it affects you moving forward, you will continue to act respectfully toward other members, as stated by our rules. Please send an IM to the main saying, “done ‘help us help you’” once you have completed this section.

The reason we are making this post

Within the past couple months, we think there has been a lack of respect amongst the members within this group, and it has been very upsetting to see unfold.

In order for this group to survive, in order for new members to feel welcome, older members to feel wanted and appreciated and for everyone to have a good time, we need everyone in this group to not only respect other's feelings, but also other's freedoms to express their opinions. We need everyone to remember that tone can be carried through text, and can sometimes be misunderstood, so please be cautious with your words, and please be slow to assume or find offense in things being said, as it isn’t always someone’s intention to upset others. 50% of online messages are misinterpreted [1][2][3]. And it’s important that if a message rubs you the wrong way or if something comes off as harsh to remember that it may not be meant in the way you are reading it.

Where I work, our management team has a system which is meant to create more understanding, safety, respect and encouragement among the employees. That system is the assumption that everyone who comes to work is trying their best and that everyone at work means well. So, when something arises, (not doing their job thoroughly, an argument arising between staff members, etc.) our managers assume that there might be something upsetting that staff member and extend empathy to them. They make sure that they’re okay, if they need time to step away, they ask what they, as management, can do to help them do their job, and most importantly, provide enough empathy to understand that these issues may very well have come up because there is something wrong that they are unaware of. I want everyone here to consider this with other members.

It isn’t anyone’s responsibility to uphold anyone else’s emotional, mental or physical wellbeing, other than their own, but it is everyone’s responsibility to extend empathy to one another and see everyone as a human being.

It’s dangerously easy to forget, when we’re upset with something, that the people behind the screens aren’t monsters, but multi-dimensional people. Please, please remember that.

With that being said, of course, this isn’t an excuse to fly under the radar, say whatever you want, however you want and expect that everyone just assume the best of you. 

It goes without saying that everyone is dealing with something. Things are especially stressful this year. Please remember that when speaking with one another. You truly have no idea how your words can effect someone.

RP is a means to escape our lives for a bit, to take a break from stress, a means to a creative outlet, and to find a way to be happy and have fun for a little while. It’s beautiful that every single one of you have chosen this group and have stayed with us for so long. We are all working together to create interesting and fun storylines with our characters, and we are all a part of each other’s escape. There is a reason each of us chose this group and are here together. Let’s ensure that we keep each other’s escape as easy as it should be, and extend that same empathy and respect back to each other, so that others can keep our escape easy as well. Please send an IM to the main saying, “I’ve read the ‘reason’” once you have completed this section.

The Admins

We also want to ask that when bringing issues up with the admin team, to please be respectful and patient with us. We all have family/friends, work and personal endeavors we have outside of this RP. Nora, Yo and I have made this RP a priority for over a year. That means that through all of the real life events that we have faced within the last 16 months, this RP has been in our mind and near the top of our to-do list. We have always tried our absolute best to meet event deadlines, quickly write up plot drops, working through our own stress from real life, and actively work together as a team to keep this RP thriving even at times when we don’t agree.

This is something that we decide to do. And with that comes the responsibility of having to resolve any issues that arise. For me, it is so important for people to have that space. It matters so much to me. But I will not deny that it is hard, and it does take a toll on each of us at times when our real lives are also hard, so please remember that yes, we are responsible for the group, but we are also people and sometimes we are going to need more time to resolve the issues that arise. Please send an IM to the main saying, “we see the admins’” once you have completed this section.

The Rules

The rules we have chosen for this group are ones we believe need to be maintained in order for the group’s long-lasting success.

We have recently added the rule that if you are uncomfortable with another member, to bring it to the admins to resolve it, as opposed to bringing it directly to that member. We implemented this rule in the hopes that if tension arises, the admins can act as a buffer to the tension, to prevent it from getting any worse. When we hear that matters are being handled between members without mention of the concerns with us, it brings us a lot of stress, worrying that the issue will escalate (as we have, of course, seen this happen far too many times).

Our intention in talking things out is to nip the problem in the bud right away and prevent it from progressing any further, and to hopefully make amends between people. We aren’t going to ask that you be friends with every other member, but everyone here is a mature adult and we expect that if you disagree with each other, that it can be overlooked for the sake of us, the admins, and for the sake of the group. Please send an IM to the main saying, “completed ‘the rules’” once you have completed this section.

If Any Tension or Concerns Arise

If you have any issues with other members, and think it will cause you to treat them poorly or be disgruntled coming onto the dash every day, we are going to ask that you bring it to us (off anon) so we can resolve it and bring us back to the safe RP we know and love. Please send an IM to the main saying, “I will do that if tension arises” once you have completed this section.

Going Forward

From now on, if OOC drama arises; if there is a general disrespect toward us or other members, we will no longer be lenient about this. We have given warnings for strikes before but from now on, we will be giving out strikes right away. Everyone is aware of the OOC rules. If you’re feeling frustrated, and feel the need to say something as a result of those feelings of frustration, and if those words would bring you some sort of relief from that frustration, we encourage you not to say them, especially directly to the people involved. Journal about it. 

If any OOC tension exists between you or another member that you have decided can never be resolved, that tension is to always be left at the door. It has no place in this group. Please send an IM to the main saying, “ready to go forward” once you have completed this section.

With all of this being said

For the next week, we are going to remove the group chat feature in hopes of everyone taking a deep breath and remembering the fun aspects and other benefits that come with a group chat.

In the meantime, we want everyone to remember that inclusivity is a rule in this group. Please remember to plot with other people, welcome every new member that we get (message them directly, offer to plot with them). 

When the group chat re-opens, we hope that we will be rejuvenated and feel relief in the new beginning.

Please remember that if you want this group to last, we have to maintain its foundation, which is the safety, respect and inclusivity among members. When you are disrespectful to each other, remember that you are in turn, being disrespectful to the admins.

Please remember that online RP is about creating fictional stories together, and that everyone involved is just trying to enjoy themselves. Please remember that we are all human, we will have foot in mouth moments, we will say things based on emotion and we will make mistakes. We’re really all here for a common purpose, guys. Not just in RP but in life. The more we can see people as being alike to us, the more empathy and understanding we can offer to people, even when they upset us, the better the world is. 

We love you guys. All we have ever wanted is to create a fun, dynamic group for everyone’s creative outlet.

I LOVE coming on to see your characters every single day. I am so freaking thankful that I have the pleasure of knowing them and seeing them navigate their lives. I want to keep them here so I can see them continue to develop and grow. 

They feel like friends to me. And maybe not everyone feels that way, but for me, I will still remember and recall them even long after this RP closes. 

I also think of all of you as friends. And I will continue to remember and recall all of you even long after this RP closes.

Please send an IM to the main saying, “completed the post” once you have completed this section.

I just want all of us to get along and be happy together. That’s really all I want.

-- Mimi, Nora, Yo.

[magmahurricane]

A decade of friends - in no order, here’s to all the amazing people in my life old and new!

@shinkumancer : I remember following your work waaay back in the Archie Comic days. I had always been too shy to approach you, but I loved your work. I still remember so much of your Egg Boss art and it’s insane how far you’ve come. You’re still one of the sweetest, kindest people I know and I always enjoy the little drawpile sessions we have! 

@zlatis-art : We haven’t been friends for very long - it’s roughly been a year, now, but it feels like we’ve been friends longer. Something just... clicked when we met, and god I came on strong looking back! I don’t regret it tho - taking the plunge and letting you into my life was such a good call. You’re super patient and you strive so hard to treat everyone fairly and give people so much love. You’ve come such a long way with both your OCs and your art, and our calls are always so much fun! 

@sege-h : Would you believe I actually don’t remember exactly how we met...? I know it had something to do with the Sonic RPC iirc. But you’ve always been such a wonderful source of optimism and joy, and I love our talks! You’ve always been so supportive of me and I don’t know how to thank you for it?? I need to draw Storm and Carey doing more shenannigans when I get better!

@rainingautumn : I also don’t recall how, other than vague recollections of the Sonic RPC I think. I feel like I learned so much from you - you’ve provided me with different perspectives, which really helped me open my eyes to a lot of things. You’ve always been such a warm, positive presence while still standing firm and speaking up for yourself, which is so hard to do. I love your little messages, even if I don’t always know how to respond to them!

@boy-of-silence : You’re legit one of my oldest friends around and looking back on where we started it’s honestly kind of insane? We met on dA and we were practically babies like??? It’s insane, I remember so much and it all blurs together like mad, but we’ve always just sorta stuck by each other and I’m always so happy to see you on my dash. You got me into Homestuck, and you made me curious about Bioshock (I still need to finish Infinite), and I still remember the little art collabs we used to do...! I got nothing but good memories!

@kismeti : We don’t talk much, but I’m hoping to change that soon! I love your work, and you’ve put so much into your OCs. Seeing you tweet about petsites makes me think about Neopets and I age 500 years every time,, You honestly seem so sweet and kind and I can’t wait to see what more you’re gonna share with us in the new year!

@fini-mun : I don’t talk with you as much as I should (purely because I’m shy as all get out) but you’ve honestly been such an inspiration to me. You’re so incredibly kind and patient -- I still have that doodle you sent me while I had been down in the dumps. I remember I found you so intimidating when I first met you on dA, when I first tried to commission you -- and watching you grow as an artist and getting to know you has been so great! You don’t know how much I smiled that night when I expressed how I knew nothing about BatIM and you up and streamed the entire game live. I know we were both excited to play FO76 together and that was a let down for like, the entire fandom. But we should definately hang sometime and do stuff! Give your ratties my love!!

@oddpastrys : JAAADE,,, I vaguely remember meeting you in one of Kaden’s streams,, and then in Joan’s weird campaign. You’ve always been such a fun, energetic person and you always bring the best jokes. Deadass, watching RWBY with you both ruined it and enhanced it. You’re so much fun to be around and you always work so hard to cheer everyone up and please everyone, and we don’t say thank you often enough - I don’t thank you often enough. You’re so sweet and fun to be around and I’m 100% not sorry about all the horrible, horrible things I’ve made you see. 

@calderscauldron : Kaden!!! You’re another one of my oldest friends, and it’ll never be wild to me how insanely lucky it was that I happened to move to the same state as you. I remember when we were dumb kids on dA, and how you used to joke about kidnapping me -- and how my first thought when getting to Texas was “I should see where this guy lives and meet up!” sjkfdjkfs It’s been a helluva ride and I don’t regret it. We had our bumps and fallouts but we’ve always worked through it all -- and your art has come such a long way. You’re always so sweet and so much fun to be around.  You deserve so many nice things and I can’t thank you enough for sticking by my dumb ass for so long!

@haunted-pixel : Yet another decade-old friendship! Bronwyn it’s been such a fucking wild ride. I still remember your old OCs from back in the day; I remember our gryphon friend group, and our lizard group and screaming about digimon, I remember getting really into Kimba/Jungle Emperor Leo cos of you and your OCs, I remember all the drawings of Z and Miki. I remember Nuki and the others. It’s been such a long time and so much has changed around us both. We don’t talk as much anymore but I’m always thrilled when we do hit eachother up on twitter!! I seriously gotta draw more Carey x Zanity sometime. You’ve also just, improved so much as an artist and branched out so much?? Your plushies and your fursuits are absolutely amazing and I can’t believe how far you’ve come! I also still have the sketches you and your sister did for me when I was technically homeless and stuck in the hospital and I’ll always treasure them - and the Nack you made for me is still sitting cozy on my shelf, along with the yeen and Sonic you sent!

@nuttyrabbit : My absolute best friend!!! And probably most unexpected friend! I remember seeing your posts in the Archie Sonic tag way back when, and how my asshole ex used to rant about how she hated you for w/e reason. I used to be so intimidated by you because you told it how it is, and I respected your opinion so I was always lowkey afraid you thought I was stupid and hated my ideas/OCs. But even before we got close, you stuck your neck out for me when things got bad between my ex and me. And in 2018, we finally just started to click with our OC stuff.  Lady Luck became a huge comfort dynamic for the both of us. You always argue against it but I still say you’re one of the kindest people I know. You always try to look out for me and find ways to lend a hand when things get tough, you’re always trying to help me when I’m down and you go out of your way to cheer me up and I can’t thank you enough. Meeting you at RTX this year was incredible.  Thank you so much for being you. <3 

@finitevus : We don’t talk much but I can’t not add you!!! You’ve been so kind and supportive to me, and artistically you’ve always been such a big inspiration. I love your character designs and your writing is so so good, and you always strive to be so positive and warm to others and I promise I’m not ignoring you when you reach out; I’m just very shy and dumb ankjdjkfs I need to,,, say hello on discord sometime. And draw you many things!

@lightdax : You’re always a whole lot of fun and I refuse to apologize for your eyes with half the shit you’ve been exposed to by proxy. You’ve always been really sweet and you’ve really been pushing to improve this past year and it shows! Take time off your mayoral duties for the town of Cuckoldia and put up your OC bios tho! @nvllspace : I,, gotta tag ur RP blog cos IDK ur personal but JACKKIIEE. You’re so sweet and fun and your art is always such a treat. You came through with helping me realize just how toxic a certain person I needed to cut out of my life was, and you’ve always been so kind and supportive. You’re always a blast in our calls and I love your AUs so much! Also you need to stop having so many gorgeous characters cos holy shit,,,

@frecklefacefromouterspace : Nixe!  You’re usually busy these days but whenever we do catch you it’s always fun. If it wasn’t for your old server, the current server wouldn’t have even existed and you brought us all together! You’re always so sweet and bubbly and you have one of the cutest, most distinct styles I know.

And to all my other mutuals - thank you all so much for sticking by me!  I’m having difficulty typing now so I’m sorry I couldn’t get to everyone but sincerely: thank you, all of you, for making these past years such an amazing ride. I’ve learned so much from each of you and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2020!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

How has the purge affected u?

[Apologies in advance for the Wall of Text™, I feel like longposting, sorry for the dash coverage, I didn’t think I had this much to say about this… And I probably shouldn’t do this, probably should have kept this to a flippant “It sucks!” with a VC meme, but I haven’t shared much publicly lately… now feels like a singularly poignant time to do so.]

NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

It’s strange. I think running and participating in the @vcsecretgifts exchange (not finished yet!), and backing up that blog and this one for preservation (not finished yet!), helped take my mind off it! I’ve been busy with @wicked-felina coordinating substitute Santas, so I haven’t had much chance to indulge in it like a participant yet, but I did see that my recipient liked my gift, and that was heartwarming! I’ll reply properly when I have the peace of mind for it (yes I could be doing it now but this is the gear I want to be on right now), and I haven’t had a chance to read the gift from my own Santa, I’m saving that as a treat!

I did the #Log/ffProt/st, that helped. The purge is/was creatively stifling, somewhat, too, bc even though I don’t produce NS/FW stuff myself (I WANT TO, THO), I do reblog it, and support it, I see other artists and writers affected by it, and I felt and still feel helpless, unable to protect them. One of our VC fandom members who draws slash art has been shadowbanned, that I know of. It’s frustrating that the morality & purity police seem to have won this battle, but they haven’t won the war. We’ll take our garbage underground if we have to. 

How crushing to wake up to one’s blog(s) just canceled w/o explanation? We were given 2 weeks’ notice? To pack up our “nasty” stuff and leave? 

[X]

There’s nothing wrong with NS/FW stuff, adult ppl should be able to talk about it, fantasize about it, make art and write fiction about it, have kinks and explore them. I never bought the “if you like it in fiction you support it in reality!” argument, just like with all dangerous things we like in fiction but wouldn’t want in reality. 

“… Fiction is how we both study and de-fang our monsters. To lock violent fiction away, or to close our eyes to it, is to give our monsters and our fears undeserved power and richer hunting grounds.” - Warren Ellis [X]

But I’ve fought those battles and there’s no point in engaging in unwinnable debate with ppl who are committed to misunderstanding me and twisting my words into a strawman they can easily knock over.  

It’s baffling that it’s an unpopular opinion that minors should be allowed to learn about sex, as much as they learn about how to (eventually) drive a car, manage alcohol consumption, defend themselves against violence, handle medication or recreational drugs, all these things that are potentially and not inherently dangerous to them, that they’ll be faced with in the Real World. I remember there were religious rituals in my youth where children could taste alcohol a little bit, it was exposure to an adult thing in a safe space, among other adults. Is this really all about Protecting the Children? Really? Or is it about mental domination? What it looks like to me is a self-proclaimed Particular Authority who wants to keep minors (and adults) submissive and reliant on that Particular Authority, it’s so much easier to keep them submissive and reliant to that same Particular Authority as adults. It’s always been about power. 

And I’m seeing that the communities most affected by the purge are AFAB ppl and LGBTQIA+. It’s misogynistic, LGBTQIA+-phobic. The fact that tungle reportedly blocked archivists from saving blogs before the NS/FW purge is just pouring salt in the wound.

I’ve started following these refugee/evicted tumblr ppl where they’ve migrated to. I’m trying to keep track of them. I’m in the @fiction-is-not-reality2 discord server, keeping my eye out for the next alternative platform.

Leading up to the purge I considered blasting a bunch of smut as a last hurrah, and I did reblog some Controversial™ stuff, just in case my blog was going to be deleted, but then, I lost steam on that. Why put in extra effort and get deleted anyway? Why poke the bear, and deliberately get deleted for it? Most of my blog is SFW, anyway.

I preserved my blog, the gifts blog, and just for archival purposes I should have been doing that all along, so it was good for my own historical safekeeping… so much good commentary and fanworks here, in the past 5+ years! Collecting the scraps just like I’d done in 1994, when there were articles about the IWTV movie and I wanted all of them, I especially wanted the illustrations and caricatures in the magazines (which was really validating of my interest in some way, fanart that was published, essentially!). And I had my folder of Deviantart I liked, of course. So I packed up my blog here to preserve it, it’s on wordpress now, iwantmyiwtv.com, with a lame layout, but I’ve got the tags showing, where fanart that’s blocked here can still be seen on WP.

I’m rambling. 

The purge reminded me that all this, as we know it, could and will be gone someday. Purges have done that before, especially to our fandom, attacked by its own canon author. We’ve survived this before. 

I’ve been on tungle since July ‘13. I’ve made and lost some wonderful friends here, some have moved on to other fandoms, or we’ve had partings of the ways. The fanart in this fandom, my memes, have been spread all over, I see them on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter. When this blog is deleted, either by content flagging or by tumblr finally keeling over, our stuff is going to outlive us all.  

Who even made this one? One of the vintage memes. Maybe their watermark was long ago cropped off, or maybe they hadn’t put it on:

^It was used in a meme here, but I don’t think that was the OP, it’s gotta be more than 4 yrs old. Pretty sure the “JUDGING YOU” in Impact font was around Twilight time, which came out in 2008. This meme is still floating around, it’s still amusing to ppl all these years later. Someone’s stroke of inspiration, and we may never know who it was, but we enjoy it, it’s part of the worn fabric of the fandom.

Will ppl remember me when/if I’m gone? I don’t need to be remembered, it’s enough that I was here at one point, and encouraged ppl to make fanworks, that I helped bring ppl together. I don’t need them to know it was me, specifically, or know much about me, this blog was never meant to be about me. Those I brought together might remember how they met. There are those who have seen behind the curtain and I hope to hang onto them as long as possible.

If/When this all disappears, I want ppl to know how much I enjoyed interacting with ppl through asks, the chat feature. I’ve missed answering asks, and I’ve missed the feeling of seeing new ask alerts without having to brace myself for Discourse. I’ve missed seeing that anon icon as a friendly, but shy, human being, rather than a living person who’s in pain, somewhere else in the world, throwing bricks through my window. Someone who’s suffering bc they’re not getting the attention they need, truly, someone who deserves to be loved, someone who needs validation for their opinions on things, and wanted mine, but I couldn’t give it. I’m only human, too. I made this blog for 15 year old me, who couldn’t find enough VC fanworks, so I set out to collect, make, and encourage them, but all in the spirit of optimism, bc that’s what I got out of canon. 15 year old me drew self esteem from those books. That’s the only person I ever wanted to please with this thing and that girl is still my priority. 

We’ll survive this purge, we’ve done it before. Hold onto the ppl who you’ve made connections with. I’ll be here as long as I can. 

Most importantly, I’m not letting the morality & purity police tell me what ’m allowed to learn about, make fanworks about, or enjoy in published or fan fiction, etc. 

[evocaition]

I didn’t want to do this

In fact I stated this many times that I didn’t want to do this, and wanted to stay out of the whole situation and just move on. But I’m not letting my name get dragged through the mud for the months I spent  under the assumption that someone wanted help.

Let me preface with I’m sorry this is on your dash, I know no one likes to see it and you’re welcome to unfollow me because of this...

But lets talk about AetherGlitch / LunacyCard really quick. Posting undercut so people can avoid drama if they like.

I am a clinical psychology student, I run @ask-yayaha, and I really enjoy helping others. I enjoy helping others to the point that I extended my hand to Ray aka A’zrael Viloh and a few other people in the community. I worked really hard to help them, incredibly hard in fact to the point that I actually exhausted myself trying to find solutions to the problem. 

Around August things got really rough. I was suffering from severed depression and simply struggling, trying to just get through day to day and with Bipolar depression I was barely managing. So I asked them not to rant to me today, and when I denied they continued and I couldn’t handle it. I was busy and pushed and I DID get a bit harsher in my words to get them to stop but I would NEVER intentionally harm someone. 

Which comes around to why I’m doing this.

A friend of mine sent me this message:

I don’t spread trash. I don’t like telling lies, I think I’m very well past my lying days but the moral was they accused me of abusing them. This is not the first time they have done this. When approaching them to speak on a matter that should be civilized they said: “They excused it”

Now the matter was how their character was treating mine, and how they pushed OOC boundaries by making the comment in the linkshell of: “I don’t want to go into it OOC” which I took there to be a problem 

People that know me know I try to get to the root of the problem and when approached they kept defaulting to pushing me to talk to their Partner who was NOT involved in the situation and wouldn’t help resolving anything on the matter.

For proof on this conversation where I’d approached them and they responded and immediately assumed I was saying, and I quote: “Fuck you Ray”

For fullsize here

Now I was pulling back, I actually felt bad for trying to solve a problem with them when they were depressed. I was really caught up in their web that I fell back and apologized and felt BAD for attempting to interrupt their dinner by talking through a problem. 

This was a common thing. 

I long since left groups I was in with them and am remiss to say at the time I didn’t think to take screenshots over what was going on because Ray and I were friends. It actually hurt me to pull away from the entire situation because I was losing a friend, a ship partner, and someone I spent since February trying to help get to a therapist to help work them through their problems: Something at the time they told me they wanted. 

I tried, I really tried to help. I told them some hard truths, I held their hand through harsh times. I sent them MONEY so that they could eat.

I frequently went out of my way, ended calls with other people, stopped homework just to talk to them. And I’m damn mad at myself that I didn’t save the conversations from our RP Discord Server we were in because there’s so many more things there i could show to just have proof on this matter. 

I’m hurt. Like I’m actually really hurt that I let this go on as long as it did, because I KNEW I was being hurt. I cried to my partner and my friends multiple times about things they’ve said to me and how it affected and hurt me. 

Then... there comes the R*pe situation. I’m... actually a bit angry starting to type this out, but here we go. I have been r*ped twice. I am not really okay with the whole non-con thing and am not one to rp it out. 

So when I explained a situation to Ray about a character mine had gotten in contact with, they took it as R*pe and refused to listen to hear me as I was explaining that it was a deal worked between my character and theirs. They beat me AND my character down about it as he tried to explain it wasn’t the case. My character got so overshadowed by the other yelling them down and essentially trying to tell REESE, the character it happened to, what had happened. 

This wasn’t the only thing that’s come up. When my character, Reese’a Dahnae, started interacting with another character and things got Sexual for them, Ray approached the person I was talking with and actually intimidated them and made them feel uncomfortable with interacting with me in fear of backlash from Ray/Az.

I was ignored, my words over looked, my character was treated poorly- I frankly can’t even believe that this is even happening right now. I am so shocked that they’d be the one to call me the abuser when I really thought I was helping them get better.

After I removed myself from everything I made this post in MY FCs discord because I had been distant and not explaining what was going on to them, and they are my family so I felt they deserved to know the truth. 

This post has all of their characters listed as well as a bit more of the situation that I just am struggling with explaining currently. 

This post is far from complete, and I am far from done collecting my receipts but due to the message at hand I wanted to get truth out there sooner rather than later to stay ahead of the situation.

[ardentlythieving]

HEWWO EVERYBODY IT’S END OF YEAR RECAP TIME WITH ME: UR PAL ARDO

First of all if ur reading this, merry christmas if u celebrate it and happy holidays if u don’t!!! Y’all are amazing people and I hope this time of year is a good one for you, and if it’s not I hope you find the time to do smth nice for urself!!

Dam this year has been crazy tho. I mean if ur dash is anything like mine you’ve prob seen all those posts talking about how long this year has felt re: the sheer amount of stuff happening. But on a more individual level there’s some stuff I wanna say I guess so in no particular order here is my Thoughts™ coz there’s been some good, some bad, and some weird this year. 

So, this year has been a kind of wild one for me in terms of things changing. The big one being that I started university and kinda lost contact with most of my pals from high school. All goods tho, coz I met some amazing new people thru tabletop gaming who idk if I’m at the friends point with yet, but I defo wanna try and get there coz they’re cool as heck. It’s true what people say that starting university is a big change coz DAM things have been wild and hopefully are gonna keep being wild next year espc coz one of my online friends is moving down to start at my university and I’m super excited to meet her in person!! Speaking of meeting people in person I finally got to hang out with @chipmunkwithwings at her place and that was one of the highlights of my year for sure! She’s a super cool person and that week was just utterly brilliant.

Anyways while we’re on the topic of friends this year sure has been exciting for that as well. I’ve made some amazing new ones, gotten closer with some older ones, had some drift apart and thru it all I’ve learnt something important. Namely that, there’s nothing wrong with the friends I had before, but I’ve felt so much better and it’s just been so much healthier for me now I’ve also started pursuing and focusing on friendships with people around my age. It sounds weird to say, but despite having a good collection of close friends there was a part of me that was lonely, and that part has kinda stopped being so much now not all my friends are 10ish years older than me. 

That’s one thing I’ve discovered, but this year has been a big one for discovery for me. I tried a bunch of different papers and found out that I hate international relations and love philosophy. I’ve started learning Swedish!! And probably the biggest and most important discovery: thanks to my friends telling me “dude you really need to do this” I’ve gotten on anti-depressants!!! Which have really been helping me so much. That’s probably.... my biggest regret is that I didn’t get on them a few years ago. Still, I’m on them now and my head is just working so much better. Also, and I’ve talked about this in an earlier post so if you wanna kno deets you can go read it, I properly I guess remembered? stopped repressing? how a friend abused me a few years ago and started working thru the issues I have because of that.  

At this point I’m gonna put things under a cut coz this is where shit is gonna get long. 

Some letters, to the people I’ve known this year. I know a LOT of people so I’m prob gonna not mention anyone so if I don’t mention you: I love y’all. Ur so so fucking brilliant all of u and I’m honored to know you and to have had this chance to be in contact with y’all. I’m deeply sorry for any way I might have wronged you over this year, and if any of you wronged ME I forgive you entirely. If any of you haven’t really talked to me, but want to; or if we’ve drifted outta contact and you wanna pick things back up or ANYTHING at all feel free to msg me anytime. My discord is ardentlyThieving#4893 and this is an open invitation to anyone reading this coz there’s a ton of cool ppl on here who I haven’t talked to as much as I’d like. Anyways onto the individual stuff.

To the afternoon gang. You guys all mean so so fucking much to me, more than probably anyone else. Ur my best support network, my greatest pals. Being friends with you all is a fucking delight. I know I’m not always active in our server, but trust me that it’s nothing on you. I’ve enjoyed every moment hanging out with you guys. Or well, most of them at least :P. We have the wildest conversations and trust me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know some of you guys have had a hard time this year and I’m so sorry that you guys are going thru that shit coz y’all deserve so much better. It’s my deepest hope that next year is a good one for all of you and if there’s every anything I can do you guys know where to find me. I love you so so so so so much and I hope these last few days of 2018 are as good for you as they can possibly be.

To the people of Eff’s servers. You guys are super duper cool. Being salty with y’all is so much fun and also so deeply annoying that people keep pulling this shit that we gotta be salty about. I love the fact that we can go from shitty meme posting (usually my fault) to having in depth n thoughtful conversations about just about anything (hopefully usually not my fault). Y’all are amazing people and it feels like you’ve all found urselves a bit more this year, which I’m so happy for you about.

To Sakshi. That’s right, u get an individual one. Ur like, my hero. Srsly dude the fact that ur so fucking patient with the utter dumbasses msging you and that u started this whole deep conversation that ur not backing down from? I’m so proud of you, I admire you so much, and you have my utmost support. Hmu if you ever need me to drag someone for you. Also i’m sorry to out you as a gamer to the fine people of tumblr dot com (actually I’m not that sorry) but it’s been so much fun playing swtor with you. And salt watching things with you. I love how fun our friendship is and also how we can have proper deep conversations like 10/10 A+ content. 

To Hammi. Dude you are awesomesauce. My fave lesbian pal. I love memeing with you and gaming with you and chatting with you. Here’s to another great year broski!

To Clare. We’ve only just met at the very end of this year and I’m so glad we did. Ur super cool and funny and I love ur art n posts.

To my swtor guild. Another group of wonderful people who I’ve only just met. i’m so fucking excited to get to know all of you better coz y’all have such great swtor opinions and are so much fun to play with. Sorry about what I did to the Gizka flagship bridge lmao.

To Sofa. DUDE HI! becoming friends with you this year has been one of the highlights. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me and for all the fun times we’ve had. I adore playing video games with you and I fucking love ur swtor ocs. You’ve been there for me so much, and I hope I’ve been there for you as well. Thank you for everything.

To Marie. Yet another person I met later on this year and haven’t had the chance to get so close with. Defo my bad there I need to msg you more often. Thanks for being there for me, even though I was kind of a shitty friend to you at one point. I didn’t deserve ur patience but you gave it to me anyway and I’m so fuckin grateful for that. I hope to make that up to you in the coming year. <3

To Jason. We were tight at the start of the year and kinda drifted apart which I regret. Msg me anytime dude and if you ever reinstall swtor you should totally hmu coz playing it with you was a ton of fun!! 

To Traya. I know we’ve only talked on and off this year, but I’m so excited for you to be at my university and to hang out in person!! Hang in there dude, coz there’s so many cool people for you to meet and take it from me that university really is so much better than college.

Ok this is where the happy positivity ends!! Again I love y’all so much and I hope that next year is better for all of you then this one was!!! Thanks for being pals with me, I appreciate it so much even when I’m not great at showing it.

Coz there’s one more letter I gotta write coz after however many years I want closure. This is where it ends.

To Teri. Wow. I never thought I’d be saying ur name again. Well typing, but w/e. That first year we were friends was so fucking good and I’m glad we had that, coz you were a pretty cool person. I dunno why you decided to change all that and start hurting me and I’m probably never gonna understand but you know what? That’s ok. I don’t need to. You hurt me, I got out. I’m not sure, but I think you were being hurt by people as well and I hope you got out like I did. No matter how badly you treated me you still don’t deserve to be abused urself. Nobody deserves that. I don’t know if I forgive you, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I hope things are better for you now. I’m sorry for the times I wronged you while we were friends. This isn’t me saying I deserved to be abused by you, because I sure as hell didn’t, but well. Two wrongs don’t make a right and ur abuse doesn’t magically erase the times I wasn’t the greatest friend. I thought ignoring the things you did to me would make things better, but instead I let it all fester inside me and change my behaviour without realizing that’s what happened. So this is me letting go of it all. Coz you don’t get to fuckin take anything else away from me. I’m better now than I was then despite everything you did to me. This is me, making a conscious choice to heal and move on and grow. It’s not gonna be easy, but imma do it and it’s gonna be so fucking wonderful. This is Arden signing out because you don’t GET to have any control over my life anymore. Never ever again.

[astralescent]

Art credit [x]

I confess this is long overdue, I said years ago I would do one for 300, then 400, and when I got to 500 I barely had the time to think about it before I was at 550... anyway, you get the idea. I don’t know where you guys keep coming from, but man am I glad to see you. It’s thanks to all of you this blog is still kicking well into its third year and I’m honestly so thankful this blue prince can still instigate some interest.

There are some people I want to give a special shout-out to, however, because they keep me motivated to get online every day and do what I do more than most. 

@ofimitations / @windsadept / @felinae / @birdballads / @larchangele​ ; This is probably getting repetitive at this point, but you still deserve a mention more than anyone else. You were there long before this journey started and I hope you’ll be there long after. I still very much admire how well you can grasp the characterization of any muse you dare pick up and, of course, your talent for art. Hopefully you keep sharing those with me for many more years to come. You’ve been the greatest friend I could have hoped for and a reliable enabler, supporter and reminder that someone somewhere does enjoy the effort I put into this character - on top of being an outstanding roleplay partner and writer. Together we ride -- and that’s an understatement.

@radiantxhero ; you were the first person I met through this blog and definitely the one to have the biggest influence on it. On day one, we had an immediate connection both ooc and through roleplay, and I knew I could count on you to push my writing and characterization to the next level. I was right in the sense that there’s little I haven’t done with you. Our muses have come much farther together than I had ever expected them to, and I’ve found a friend I know I can always confide in and who will never give up on me, no matter what.

@miracleblossom​ ; you let me into your sanctuary, quite literally, and that’s something I’ll never stop being thankful for. Not only is it the side of this community I like best, but you also turned out to be a very good friend, and I love getting to geek out over games and movies with you - as scarce as it is nowadays. I’ll never forget the early botw days, or our few movie nights, and you’ll always be one of the best things that happened to this community in my opinion - no matter how sparse your activity becomes.

@caraidean​ ; you honestly restored my faith in multi-muse blogs. It’s so refreshing to see someone who’s so dedicated in developing them based on canon rather than collecting them for the heck of it, and to have them all be treated with the same amount of effort. It’s admirable, really, how well you manage to do them all justice, on top of being an excellent partner in general when it comes to plotting and writing long, relevant threads. I hope you stick around for a bit because I’m so excited for the couple of things we have planned. I’m definitely glad I found you and hopefully I can live up to your expectations.

@bladeoath ; I haven’t forgotten you and all you’ve done for me when I was first getting into this blog; pushing me to live up to your writing but also encouraging and reassuring me regarding my first language handicap. You more than anyone taught me to keep my head up and just do what I love no matter if it pleases other people, and I’ll never forget that. You can disappear for months and keep switching blogs but you’ll always be my Lucina, and you’ll always be my friend.

@recklessmoon​ / @galdrxr​ ; we may not see much of you these days but I still love your muses and your writing to bits, and it’s always a treat when you show up in the server on discord. I hope you’re doing well and I that we can see more of you sooner than later.

@pueravem​ / @absolutely-peachy​ ; our interactions may be kept to a minimum but you’re still one of the first Smash blogs that stuck out to me as someone that was here to stay, and I don’t forget people who reached out to me when I was at my lowest. I know real life can get in the way, but you’re truly one of the most positive presences in the community and I hope you’ll continue to be for a while.

@madkingtrashking​ ; I know you’re probably very aware of this at this point, but you are such a refreshing presence on the dash, the way you care about your muse despite how most people feel about him is admirable, and you deserve more recognition for the work you put into him.

@naglfcr / @delleal​ ; I may have only found you recently but I love how you go about portraying your muses. I can easily agree with how you think of them for the most part, and I very much enjoy your interventions on discord.

@dawnpriiestess​ ; I fell in love with your Micaiah instantly - though I believe I already told you that, so things could only get better when you joined the chat and I got to see you were a really cool and creative person on top of a good writer. Here’s to hoping you stay with us for a bit, I really like having you around.

@radiantwill​ ; a weird egg, but a good one. I already told you how much I love your portrayal of Ike, but I should also point out the intensity and sincerity with which you write is just as phenomenal. I’ve found in you a very relatable roleplayer and person, too, and I can’t wait to get started on those few shenanigans we talked about.

@clericallis​ ; we’ve barely scratched the surface of our first thread, but I can already tell I love how much you care for your muse. It shows in your writing, but also in the way you speak of him, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of both.

@valflame​ ; my biggest regret is admittedly not clicking that follow button earlier; I absolutely adore how you don’t back down from situations where your muse’s more ‘negative’ qualities need to be put forward. It’s amazing to finally see someone bold enough to portray a villain in all their flaws and complexity instead of shying away and caring only about making him them look good. I hope neither of you ever lose that fire, and that I’ll still be here to see it for some time. I know you get this a lot, but if anyone in this fandom makes me want to play fe4, it’s you.

@heroismdreams ; you’re doing amazing sweetie. honestly, you deserve all the love and attention coming your way, your cynthia is incredible. I can safely say this is the best second gen portrayal I’ve seen since leaving the fe13 community, and I love how sincere your writing is and how willing you are to reach out to the FE community beyond Awakening.

@ardent-lux​ ; our interactions have been minimal up to this point, but it’s still a treat to be following you and to see you on the dash. You’re both an impressive artist and a talented writer, and you have one of the best developed OCs I’ve had the privilege to see on this website. 

@daein-liberation​ ; you deserve a shout-out if only because the Dawn Brigade deserves more development and appreciation, and I’m glad you’re providing that for us, and doing so with great accuracy, at least from what I’ve observed. I also enjoy how interactive you can be - it really brings the dash to life which I was missing before I found you.

@tikiwiki​ ; I don’t care how long you’re away or that you may never return, you’ll always be my Tiki and I will never stop hoping you’ll be back.