#i think this one has been in the inbox for years
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lullabyes22-blog · 11 hours ago
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"I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away."
Got a lot of Q's for this in my inbox. Figured I'd just address them here.
tw: mentions of suicide, suicidal ideation
Re: the ending of S2:
Jinx did not die.
She symbolically killed her old self, and with it, her last ties to the past that imprisoned her. She understood that for her sister to move on and live her life - be happy without guilt - she'd have to renounce the bonds that held them together.
Her talk with ghostly Silco was the 'sign-off' she'd been waiting for, ever his dutiful daughter. Throughout S2, she kept hoping he'd haunt her, and in doing so, offer some impetus given her aimlessness. Maybe just straight up boss her around, and tell her how she's supposed to exist now that he's no longer there to be a (subversive if loving) guiding hand.
But it was the promise of time (as represented by Ekko) healing old wounds, and the courage to feel, as she once had - a hopeful child with a hopeful future - that allowed Jinx to commit impetus to action.
Her blimp-ship in the climactic battle is a tribute to Isha - but also to the child in Jinx's own fractured psyche: Powder. She's letting both little girls have one last hurrah before she takes care of business - and cuts off the last oaths, duties and commitments that bind her to a past whose parameters she's outgrown.
Better still, she knows she's got the capacity to outgrow them.
That was the point of Jinx's arc with Isha, and why, no matter my misgivings on Isha's character herself, I found Jinx's trajectory towards a more nurturing and fun-loving figure more life-affirming and positive than the straightforward 'Daddy's Villain Goes Postal' shtick.
It's even why there's a minigame titled Jinx Fixes Everything. It's Jinx, struggling and stumbling, as she tries to rewrite her narrative, and finds in herself the capacity to do good.
To fix things that seem irreparably broken.
And to understand why she's reached this stage, we've got to let go of our tendency to project our own stuff onto Jinx (precious meow meow, unrepentant terrorist, manic pixie crazypants, edgy hot psycho) and acknowledge the purpose she plays in Arcane's thematic structure.
Jinx's character comes off as a death-seeker, and that's no shocker. She is hounded by terrible guilt and loss. She's got blood on her hands, and ghosts on her heels, and no matter what she does, she can't seem to be rid of them. Her inner mind's fractured, her mannerisms ooze pure chaos, and she seems a creature of pure feral impulse and no mercy.
That's the Jinx we're accustomed to seeing in S1 - except that's also both the front she's most likely to put on during that timeline, and the persona that is necessary for her to inhabit to survive, as Silco's daughter and his top enforcer.
Then Silco kicks the bucket, she symbolically fulfills his dream by shooting at the Council HQ, she accepts that she must inhabit this path of shadows and loneliness (as symbolized by her starkly decorated chair in the tea party scene), she accepts the fragmented push-and-pull between past and present, and...
And now what?
Silco's given her a semblance of direction for six years, and he's gone. Vi, the sister she'd hoped would return, and whom she'd hinged so many childishly idealized hopes on, is herself traumatized, and afraid of what her sister's become.
Jinx has her shadows and her loneliness. Jinx is traumatized. Jinx is suicidal.
But Jinx is still, whatever else, alive.
And all living things need connections.
That's why we as the audience enjoy her little found family dynamic with Isha and Sevika. It's Jinx, taking the first tentative steps to reach out to people beyond Silco and Vi, and realizing, wow, she enjoys the pay-off.
And all throughout S2, we see Jinx growing more and more comfortable in this newfound space - even jealously guarding it at the expense of Zaun's liberty, and Silco's wishes, because she can't bear to lose what she's found.
And what she finds empowers her enough that, when Warwick shows up, she's actually willing to reach out to Vi, and call upon their family connection, because Jinx is learning the value of bonds, not as baling hooks of guilt, but as buoys to carry her forward.
That's the story Jinx's relationships serve to tell in S2. Each one shapes the choice she makes in the finale. Until she learns to accept the past (Vi), to lay the monsters to rest (Silco and Vander/Warwick), forgive herself (Caitlyn) trust that time heals all wounds (Ekko), and hope for happier new beginning (Isha), she'll never trust herself enough to just seize the chance.
Jinx's culminating arc is not about death, much less self-erasure. It's about resurrection, and embracing the sublime chaos of a freed mind, and a lightened spirit. That's what she craves beyond simple death, and what her baptism by fire, blood and riverwater, has been about.
Each trial grinds her down into someone else. Someone new.
Someone closer to who she is meant to be, rather than who she's expected to be.
That's why she's so glad to make the sacrifice for Vi. She's not dying as an act of self-immolation. She's giving her sister - the one who's proven she'll never give up on her - the ultimate gift, and showing Vi that she deserves to live.
She needs Vi to live, so Jinx, the persona, can finally die.
"He (Silco) didn't make Jinx. You did."
She's basically saying, "I love you, I will always be with you, but you are no longer responsible for my actions. Please move forward with your life, and grant me the choice to do the same."
It's two sisters embracing everything they've meant to each other, acknowledging the pain weighing them down on both sides, and welcoming the new so they can each slough off old paradigms and live life as a whole person - or at least take steps to remembering what wholeness feels like.
That's the reason the show's final shots linger on the Hexgate tunnels, Jinx's monkey bomb, and the aircraft.
It's the show's way of reminding us that Jinx has ascended to a different version of her identity - one removed from the past that haunted her. It's Jinx, finally striking out alone, away from the sister whose memory she clung so desperately to, and who was, in turn, horrified by her hand in making Powder a monster (perceived guilt or real, fandom may debate ad nauseum) due to past mistakes and abandonment.
The ending of Arcane isn't tragic. It's deeply hopeful, and serves as a reminder that no matter how damaged you think you are, and no matter how monstrous the world finds you, there are still ways to come back to yourself - or to walk the path toward a new you.
Jinx is symbolized by crows. Jinx is shown with firelights emerging from her mouth. Jinx is depicted holding a torch like Janna ushering in the winds of change.
Thematically, Jinx is change.
And the best way she can embody that change is to write her story, and make it her own.
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tamayula-hl · 1 day ago
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Sorry I have skipped answering anonymous messages for a while 🫣
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Thank you so much for all the wonderful sunflowers(Himawari)! 😭😭🙏✨🌻💕 (And sorry I'm always getting them and not spreading this joy to other people's inboxes 🙇‍♀️) I'll continue to have fun creating various Slytherins content 💪😌💕.
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YESSSS! I want to draw more about Sakurako and I always want to draw something like an introduction sheet about the Seb x Sakurako ship, but there are so many other things I want to draw that those inevitably take a back seat 🤣. But I hope to draw Sakurako soon 💪.
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Aww, that's a very great idea! I'd love to see Slytherins struggling with parenting for the first time so I'd love to draw about this one day 😭✨. I can just see Ominis looking troubled and flustered while holding the baby, and Seb at a loss after trying to look things up in a book that he doesn't understand and can't solve… 😏.
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ありがとうございます! I am very happy and honoured to receive such a compliment! I've been studying painting in my sleep lately, so it's a great relief to know that I'm growing thanks to your message!
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Personally, I think that the less revealing swimming costumes of the olden days are attractive, but as an artist, it is more fun to draw sexy swimwear, so I would like to draw HL Girls like in the ending of Naruto! 🤣 I'd like to draw about them next summer 🤭
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Thanks for showing me a great story! If I get a good idea to illustrate these in pictures, I'd like to draw them someday 🤭💕
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I am glad to hear such compliments! Thank you! And ahh, I would very much like to see Ominis in that situation!🥹✨✨ It must be fascinating to see him realising that his partner's unusual voice and breathing is causing them to be injured, and then impatiently trying to treat it as calmly as possible..! I hope to draw this soon 😏😏😏.
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In Japan, when drawing a character x OC, we sometimes use a representation without their eyes to show that the OC is a character with no particular backstory or personality (or we sometimes represent the OC as a pure white mannequin, without drawing not only the eyes but also the hair and skin colour)😌 To be honest, I've been struggling for over a year and a half now to decide whether I should or should not draw eyes on personality-less OCs 🤣🤣
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Oh, I've been recommended that fiction by various people and would love to read it, but you'll have to forgive me for not having read it yet 😭😭🙏. I'm especially sorry that lately I've been concentrating on my painting studies, cutting down on sleep and food, and I haven't been able to read at all not only the works recommended to me, but even those of my friends I follow: …… I will definitely read those works when I have the mental capacity to do so! 🙇‍♀️
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As a Japanese, I would like to draw the HL character in MahouTokoro uniform one day 🤭💪. I think it's supposed to be unclear if Mahoutokoro has dormitory groupings like Hogwarts, and from a Japanese point of view there are a lot of pretty weird things about Mahoutokoro and the Japanese wizarding world, but I enjoy fantasising about these… 😏💕
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Of course! I love Japanese anime 😫😫💕. I especially love Naruto, I can't tell you how many fanart and fanfictions I've drawn over the past 20 years since I got into Naruto when I was 10 years old 🤣💕. Death Note and Crayon Shin-Chan are other Anime (Manga) that I've loved for years and years and have had a huge influence on me!
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I am so glad you liked the 2024 Slytherins! I think I have discovered a new fascination for them by painting that picture! And I get dizzy just thinking about Slytherins with hair in the picture you sent me 😫🥵💕. They must definitely be cool with long hair too! Especially the long- hair Ominis, I've been wanting to draw him for a long time now🤭 I'll try to draw them with long hair one day 💪💪💪
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In fact, just a year ago I drew about Seb like that, though maybe not quite the same 🤭 (https://www.tumblr.com/tamayula-hl/735330297365790720/the-boy-who-recognized-beyond-the-fourth) I like it a lot and your message makes me want to draw again about Seb and Omi who have realised the ‘truth’ 💪😏.
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Raraa! The idea of collaborating Sanrio characters with HL characters was unexpected, but it would definitely be cute! ✨💕🤭 That cute but grumpy look of Badtz-Maru and Omi should be a good match… I want to doodle about them soon 🤣🤣
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I'd like to draw it someday, and I'd also like to draw, for example, how Seb would look at Anne trying on a slightly sexier swimming costume… 😏😏😏
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Perhaps you can find my work if you set it up as per the image below 😌
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lemotmo · 2 days ago
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911 8x08 thoughts and freak outs!
Okay…
Well…
WOW…
OMG!!!
What do I say about this episode? 😶
Uhm…
Well, my first reaction was this: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! 🤣🤣🤣
And I mean this in a very good way! 😏
I’m just going to start with the thing that made me go AAAAAH! In the first place:
Eddie and Chris! That scene was heartbreaking and when Brad talked to ‘Edmundo’ about his estranged son it was a great moment. Eddie has started to realise he has to act NOW, because he son is growing up without him and he doesn’t want that gap to become any wider. 😭
Side-note: Fuck the Diaz parents big time! They suck! 😠
So Eddie decides to move to Texas, which is so very much the wrong thing to do. But I get why he’s considering it. The right thing to do for him would be to go to Texas, talk to Chris and telling him he needs to come home, back to LA. But I don’t think Eddie is ready for that yet. He’ll need some time to get there, but he’ll get there in the end.
Which leads me to that one scene with Buck. And OMG! In the seven years that I’ve been here, shipping Buddie, I’ve seen a lot scenes between them that suggested something more, but it was never really anything concrete… you know? 🤷‍♀️
This scene? It was like being hit over the head with a sledgehammer. Buck just walks into Eddie’s house and Eddie’s okay with that. He’s teasing him about the tablet and Eddie lets him. They know each other through and through. And Buck’s face when Eddie told him it was in El Paso? That was interesting. And of course he wants to help Eddie. It almost feels like they’re buying a house together for a moment there. But then…
Then when Buck’s sitting on the Diaz couch (yes… hello couch theory, great to see you again! 😂), his face falls and there is something there that wasn’t there before. Guys… we just witnessed the very early beginnings of Buck’s ‘OH’ moment. Eddie making plans to move will help Buck realise just how much he truly cares for Eddie. 🥲🥲🥲
So, this is it. This is THAT scene we’ve all been hoping for.
I feel unwell.
In a good way.
The Buddie-arc has officially begun. 😋🌈😁☀️
So unwell right now.
Still in a good way.
But oh… this is going to be such a good hiatus! That scene alone will inspire so many writers to write excellent fic, it will fuel us for months and ignite the fandom to speculate and theorise. It’ll be epic! 😎
I wonder if there’ll actually be a time-jump or they’ll just pick up where they left off after hiatus. 🤔
On to the rest of the episode:
Where was the Maddie storyline they talked about?
Athena’s storyline was actually nice this time. It is entirely possible that something flew over my head when it comes to her scenes as a police officer. But to my non-American eyes, it was a nice storyline. The cart cop kid was a little naive, but he was likeable I suppose. I don’t really enjoy watching people like that on YouTube, but for the show it was okay.
I unexpectedly really enjoyed the Brad storyline. Granted, him rescuing that woman and risking hurting her? That was iffy, but 911 is like HotShots in that respect, you know? We aren’t supposed to take it all ‘that’ seriously. So I can live with that scene. I love the growth in Brad and how he talked that guy from the ledge. Do we think that scene was based on the fact that Jon Bon Jovi talked someone from the ledge a couple of months ago? I think that’s where Tim got his inspiration for this.
So overall, I really enjoyed this episode and I have to admit that I didn’t really expect too much of it. But it managed to surprise me in a few ways. But mostly that Buddie-moment… it just blew my mind. 🤯
I can happily skip into hiatus now. All is right with my fictional TV-show world again.
😎😎😎
I'm off to read the post interviews now and answer some asks in my inbox. YAY!
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lena-in-a-red-dress · 6 months ago
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Prompt (it's okay if you ignore this one cos it's a bit dark/triggering): Lena, post S4 having just killed her brother & finding out about the SG secret, is suicidal, like seriously considering ending it once and for all. BUT she finds something that brings her back to wanting to live and be happy (a new goal or motivation?) Side reigncorp would be nice, having Sam there to support her etc and she's the only one she trusts right now plus she's the only one who never lied to/betrayed her. Thanks!
WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/INTENTIONS
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Lena stares at the pill bottle in her hand. It would be so easy, she thinks. Just tip the bottle to her lips and swallow the lot with a chaser of bourbon. Let herself drift away into sleep. Maybe she'd get lucky and remain blissfully unaware of the vomit and foam that would likely follow. Perhaps her mind would block it out, allow her to sink peacefully into death while her body convulsed to reject the poison.
She considers who might find her. The cleaners perhaps, due to return in two days time. Or more likely Jess, when she fails to come to work or answer her phone. Certainly not Kara, who believes everything between them is fine-- that their friendship hasn't shattered into irrecoverable shards.
Kara. No, Supergirl. Fucking Supergirl.
Lena clenches her eyes shut, but the image of the hero simply projects against the backs of her eyelids. With her stupid hair and her stupid cape and her stupid, lying smile. But no. The truth is, Lena is the idiot. An idiot to think she'd made true friends, to think she could share the innermost parts of herself with someone who wouldn't turn around and use it against her.
They played you for a fool, Lex's voice echoes from beyond the grave.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Suddenly, an explosion of glass issues from her living room. Lena surges for her handgun, and carefully creeps from her bedroom. Her fingers clenches unnecessarily-- angrily-- against the trigger when she recognizes the caped figure that rises shakily from the floor. But she doesn't fire.
"Lena?" Kara croaks, cradling her middle as though her ribs are broken. Lena watches her scan the living room and kitchen before locating her outside the bedroom. "Lena..."
"What do you want?"
She means it to sound angry, or at the very least irritated. Instead, she just sounds tired, even to her own ears.
"Something's happened to Alex-- to everyone. The DEO is compromised. They--" The hero grimaces in pain. "They tried to kill me."
"So you came to me."
"I hoped you wouldn't be affected. Whatever it is... it's bad. It's really bad."
Lena tries to feel something. Concern, outrage, curiosity-- anything. But she can't. She feels flat, like the air has deflated from her, leaving her a sagging balloon, pressed down by the weight of the air around her.
"Kara..."
Lena sees the exact moment the name hits home, and its implication hits home. Her eyes close in resignation-- not apology, Lena notes distantly.
"You figured it out--?"
"No."
Kara nearly sighs. "Your mother?"
"Brother," Lena allows, "but interesting that you know Lillian knew."
Lex was right. Everyone in the world but her knew the truth. Even her mother. And Kara knows that Lillian knows. That she allowed Lena's family to know the truth, but not she herself.
Fuck her.
"And now you've come to the Luthor you've managed to keep in your pocket."
Like always, Lena notes. Every time she's been involved with Supergirl and her allies, it's been as a last resort. Not because they truly wanted her or her help. Because they had nowhere else to turn.
Her stomach turns, and again Lena's thoughts flicker back to the prescription bottle in her bedroom. She feels sick, and she doesn't want to. She'd rather feel nothing at all than feel this.
"Lena..." Kara straightens as best she can. "I'm not here because I have to be. I'm here because you're the only one I trust."
Their eyes lock for a long moment, and Lena hopes her gaze conveys her disbelief. The words mean nothing, and the fact Kara expects her to believe them is actually insulting.
"What do you expect me to do?"
"We need to know what's affected them and find a way to neutralize it."
"I'll need a current blood sample, and a sample from before the changes in behavior occurred for comparison."
Lena turns back towards her bedroom.
"Then I'll see what I can do."
---
What she can do, it would seem, is quite a lot. Per usual. She isolates a chemical signature in Agent Schott's blood that stands out as abnormal, and traces it back to readings taken from clothes that have arrived on several alien refugee ships. The chemical is alien in nature, but it's not long before Lena synthesizes a counteragent to render the chemical inert until it could be processed from the bloodstream on its own.
She does all this before it can spread further than the DEO. Kara looks at her with gratitude and relief and a little bit of patent awe, but Lena isn't impressed with herself or her results. Isn't this what she always does? Pulls a rabbit out of her ass and saves the day-- but never enough to breach that final circle of trust she never even knew existed.
Once she confirms all DEO employees are returned to their normal selves, Lena withdraws. She relinquishes her role at L-Corp to Sam with some easy bullshit about taking a sabbatical. She hoards her prescriptions, waiting for the moment to be right.
The night she chooses is dark and rainy. But she manages to prod herself to going to the boutique liquor store beforehand-- might as well go out sipping something luxurious and expensive.
On her way back, she pauses on the sidewalk when she hears something moving beneath the car parked next to her along the curb. When it doesn't come again, she moves to resume her march home, but is stopped again by a new sound.
A whine.
Lena hesitates. She can keep walking, pretend she never heard it. But her feet remain rooted against her intentions to leave, until she finally relents and climbs down to her hands and knees. Pressing her cheek almost to the cement, she peers under the sedan and sees the soggy silhouette of a small quadruped.
A puppy. Or some sort of small breed. When it shifts, she sees disproportionately gangly limbs and a long tail curled around its trunk. Puppy.
Lena sighs. "C'mere," she mutters, reaching her arm under the car. The dog is far enough under that her shoulder feels like it nearly dislocates before she finally catches the sorry creature by the scruff of the neck.
It yelps when she drags it out into the rain, but makes no move to escape when she stares down at it appraisingly. Short brown fur darkened by rain, small half-flopped ears, and big brown eyes. It's certainly the picture of a creature any decent human being would cleave to.
"All right," she says heavily. "Let's get you somewhere dry."
She picks the pup up and tucks it into her coat. It curls into the warmth of her chest, shivering all the way back to her apartment. She snags a towel from the linen closet before removing her coat, and transfers the animal directly into it.
Once it's mostly dry, Lena sits back and stares at the beast as it stares at her. She glances at the bottle of liquor she'd set on the coffee table next to the pup.
Lena sighs.
"You chose a hell of a night to turn up," she says drily. Lena gives the dog's head a rub before picking it up to set it gently on the floor.
"Let's get you some food."
----
(Prompts are closed)
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bluecubeblues · 9 months ago
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have you ever been convicted of a felony?
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★ PREV | FIRST | NEXT ★
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dangaer · 18 days ago
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will probably join the growing crowd of posting my mistletoe call mid november this year ...
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dibbs-n-scribbs · 2 months ago
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What's your all-time favorite Bob's Burgers episode? Like this is YOUR episode? (You can list multiple if you want!)
Babs you don't know how loaded that question is, I genuinely cant choose just one. I really have to rewatch past episodes as well as catch up on the newer seasons that I've missed cause its definitely been a hot minute since i watched an episode.
Some of my favorites have to be (in no particular order):
Glued, Where's My Bob? - I mean HELLO??? Definitely one of the most memorable eps. The music i think is what gets me, Bad Things Happen in the Bathroom will always be a banger
The Quirkducers - Any Thanksgiving ep is a good ep, but when I think back to this one, its definitely means a lot to me emotionally. Seeing a girl feel like she doesn't fit in & long to be like all the other 'turkeys', facing self image issues in many diff ways really got to me, cause I saw myself in her in those moments especially. For her to then sing about gaining confidence and having 'the guts' to be herself made me shed so many tears. not to mention that song being top 5 best Bobs Burgers songs, its so good.
Tina-rannosauras Wrecks - The car scene is one of my favorite bits they've done, period. It made my dad crack up (which is extremely hard to do), and I love the "show me your everything is ok face" scene. My family always says that I'm Tina, and eps like this are always used as an example lol. Perfection.
Gayle Makin' Bob Sled - Don't remember this one that much but its one we used to play repeatedly on Thanksgiving, so it means a lot nostalgia-wise.
Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial - This ep will always hold a special place in my heart cause it was the very first full episode my family & I ever watched of Bob's Burgers on tv (our 1st ever experience with the show being the last 2 minutes of the "Speakeasy Rider" ep on tv). It was so funny and quotable with the "Come meet our family, and let us 'meat' you" & "Super-bowel" bits. It was our first true exposure to the show, and ever since then we've been hooked and stream it every now and then. Definitely one of my top 10 if I ever make a true ranking one day.
Wharf Horse pt 1 &/or 2 - decided to add this one cause I honestly love any ep with Calvin in it, but i also found Felix in this super funny as well. My fave bits probably have to be when Felix is trying to create a distraction with his robot-leg-thing bit and when he screams "WHAT" when Calvin says he's never selling the Wharf (the rage is so visceral and comedic its insane, I think about that bit way too often). AND THE END CREDITS SCENE AND MUSIC IS SO BADASS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM ASCENDING EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT
and like so many others I can't even think of rn
Hope this suffices! Thanks a bunch Babs!
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lorei-writes · 2 months ago
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Because you organize great events and create interesting content!
Aww, thank you! <3 I may be a bit quieter now, but... Let me tell you, there are more interesting things coming in the future, and I can't wait to be able to finally share them >:)
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pyrriax · 5 months ago
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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kimtaegis · 2 years ago
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👋 2022
#I won’t go into detail about real life except that it was. well. a Trip#learned some things went through things. the year of baby steps I guess#BUT I wanna write some thoughts about my 2022 tumblr experience down#it was… also quite a Trip#positive first: learned to stay off this site when necessary! very important mental-health wise#my most used tag this year was my track tag! shoutout to everyone who’s been using it#you bring me much joy by sharing your creations with me. I appreciate it 🤍#another shoutout to all the incredibly lovely people who’ve come to my inbox this year#I’ve been very lucky in that regard. 98% of my anons have been the kindest sweetest most eloquent people#and I’m happy to have been able to have super interesting thoughtful and respectful discussions from time to time#okay what else. oh HIGHLIGHT of my year here – my birthday ADFFGHJ#I felt so so so spoiled and couldn’t (still can’t) believe the amount of spectacular gif(t)s I got. made me feel stupidly happy oh my god#I learned a lot of new skills and techniques for gfx making. kept experimenting with different styles which has been fun!#gif making has turned more into a relaxing activity than something that makes me feel pressured and anxious#I dialed it down a bit compared to last year and I think that was a good decision as well#as for not so positive things. well.#of course there are the usual/ general ‘complaints’ like lack in interaction and the like#got my first proper anon hate in November. that was something#HUGE lesson I learned this year: just because someone states in their bio that they’re adults doesn’t mean they act like ones <3#people can be very childish ruthless and simply not worth one’s effort#and a last thing that fits quite well to that: 9 out of 10 people do not care about you. not about your time and effort you put in content#not about whether you’re online or not. not about how you might feel when they say and do certain things#I think I need to learn how to embrace this kind of insignificance. be more audacious. find validation within myself#okay I’ll stop now#I wanna say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year on tumblr more enjoyable and who truly brighten the place up for me#I love you lots and wish you all the best for 2023#it’s gonna be a hard year for me with lots of challenges and changes#and it’s nice to have this little space here where you can escape to from time to time#mwah. smooches to all of you. happy new year <3
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sugajimin · 2 years ago
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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bad enough that i am stuck in my life but even worse when i have to work through / around the stuckness in front of people i care about / explain it / be perceived in experiencing it. UGH!!!!!!
#purrs#i live in my childhood home i share a bedroom withy sister it hasn’t been redecorated since before we were born i don’t even have a license#ive never dated or even been liked like that by someone i know except one time ive never done like 75-80% of the things ppl my age do and i#gonna show up empty handed and empty brained to everythi ng and be seen as stupid and uncaring and whatever when really im just tired and m#life is so flat rn and i don’t have the strength to pull it up by myself and give it shape again but i have to. i don’t think i have covid#thank GOD) but i can say even without having ever gotten it and hopefully never getting it that it has ruined my life like genuinely. i mea#good things have come out of it too but i was already socially / emotionally stunted and then being locked down for a year and a half like#literaly not leaving my house for anything but medical stuff until july 2021 was so PRPFOUBDLY damaging. i feel like someone has taken a th#motion blur tool i. photoshop and just drawn like a scribble over me so some parts of me are stretched to where they need to be and other p#parts are stuck at like age idk 16 and i think i need to have most of the parts motion blurred to like… move forward! but i can’t make that#happen and i have to explain it and move around it and it’s so EMBARRASSING omg. girl help i am flowering on the wall i am blooming late i#am hiding in my shell and i want to come out but i also DO NOT so i am cowering in fear forever and never standing up for myself or standin#up at all to be honest!! lol 😸👍#anyways this post is brought to you by how INSANELY much i do not want to reply to a particular email in my inbox or spend my time tonight#[redacted] on express when i am already so exhausted. and if that makes me a bad person then so be it i guess i am one#* i don’t even have a LEARNERS PERMIT let alone a license. lawl <3
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haljathefangirlcat · 1 year ago
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#writing fic isn't a job and comments aren't a salary #and if it starts to feel that way then you might be experiencing burnout #and it could be time for a rest - or to think about one anyway #I obviously don't know your situation #but that's what it was for me
I'm going to start this post off by saying that I write fic, and I know the pain of putting something out there and not getting a response. It sucks and it hurts and it puts a dent in my self-confidence. If I have the choice between posting a work on AO3 and getting only comments or posting a work on AO3 and getting only kudos, I'll probably choose comments let's say 8 times out of 10.
But with that in mind, posts that attempt to shame or guilt readers into commenting don't actually work.
Negative reinforcement (in the form of shame, guilt, or other worse emotions) doesn't make anyone want to do the thing. It just makes them want to avoid the guilt, etc. Rather than encouraging someone to talk to you about your writing, you're making that person want to avoid you so that they don't have to feel bad. That's just human nature.
I've said before that I think a lot of writers are looking for community rather than comments, and I still think that's true. The reason I love both writing and receiving comments is because it makes me feel like I've made a connection with someone. I may never know their real name or what they look like or where they live or anything else but what fandom we have in common, but we've reached out to each other in this text-based medium and we've shared words that made each other feel something.
I know that these posts are written out of frustration or loneliness or needing support or a hundred other reasons I could list off the top of my head. But when I read "you should be grateful for the things I give you and show me proper appreciation" it just reminds me of my parents telling me to clean my room or to follow the rules while I live under their roof.
It's so much more vulnerable to admit, "I don't know if this story is any good and I really wish someone would reassure me right now."
It's much harder to say, "I feel so alone in this fandom, and I want to make friends with someone."
It's difficult to admit, "I worked so hard on this for so long and I'm so tired, but if someone out there likes it then all of that effort will be worthwhile - and if no one says anything, then I'll feel like my effort was wasted."
I'm not trying to shame the people who made those posts, and if that's how this comes across then I'm sorry. I'm just trying to explain why I think those posts will harm more than they help.
I also hope that any readers who see this post will understand that those writers are just people who are feeling a lot of different ways, and they're venting their frustrations. I've been there. I've reblogged those posts before when I was feeling frustrated like that too.
If you're able to comment, those comments are appreciated. If you're not able to comment (for whatever reason), that's okay too. ❤️
#fandom#fanfiction#copying op's tags because they're as on point as the rest of the post which is pretty damn great itself#and i say that as both#someone who sometimes still catches herself obsessively checking her ao3 inbox#and someone who sometimes still feels guilty about not having enough energy/motivation/things to say to comment on fics she likes#comments are wonderful! but they're also not something you can always just whip up on a whim#nor should they be someone's main motivation to write or main criteria to judge their own work or even themselves by#and yeah i just hate the idea that they are a writer's 'payment'#i'm not writing fic to be paid! i'm not writing fic for anyone else but me unless they're explicitly labeled as gifts!#i just have brain gremlins about weird subjects!#and if someone else has brain gremlins about the same things#i'll be happy and maybe even a little giddy to discuss them with them#hell just yesterday i was rereading this beautiful lovely amazing comment from a while back#by someone on anon who told me they'd been thinking about my fic for like two years before finding the will to write a comment#when i replied to that comment i didn't give a damn about the fact they could have commented right away#instead of leaving that fic commentless for two years#i only cared about screaming 'YES! YES! YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN ABOUT BLORBO FROM MY RARE FANDOM!' at them#and the conversation that got started with that reply will probably always be one of my fave interactions with someone on ao3#... also i ALSO managed to comment on like. one of my fave fics EVER only after rereading it endlessly#leaving kudos on it both logged-in and on anon#and bookmarking it and finding any excuse to spam it to other readers lol#you can't force stuff like that
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cursedcrest · 5 months ago
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* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ out of⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ hits u with my bisexual beam blast ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ in chara⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ a girl in the shape of a monster‚ a monster in the shape of a girl ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ aesthetics⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ you only pray when you want something ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ character⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ i think i’d been looking for it all my life‚ a storm in my body to match the one in my head ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ inbox⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ once upon a time ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ answered⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the end of the story ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ dash⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ bulletin board ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ worldbuilding⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ voted the most romanceable bitch in fódlan five years in a row ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ crack⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the goddess’s favorite suffer puppet ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ face⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ what does it mean to be descendant of something monstrous? to still love the monster? ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ creations⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ taking a break from losing the idgaf wars to enjoy things sincerely ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ audio⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ play the music box? ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ wardrobe⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ an outfit for every occasion ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ blog updates⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the grip this game has on me should be studied ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ promotions⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ support rank up ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ calls⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ begin paralouge ⠀ ❫
* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ tag name⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ tag name ⠀ ❫
#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ out of⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ hits u with my bisexual beam blast ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ in chara⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ a girl in the shape of a monster‚ a monster in the shape of a girl ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ aesthetics⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ you only pray when you want something ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ character⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ i think i’d been looking for it all my life‚ a storm in my body to match the one in my head ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ inbox⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ once upon a time ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ answered⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the end of the story ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ dash⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ bulletin board ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ worldbuilding⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ voted the most romanceable bitch in fódlan five years in a row ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ crack⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the goddess’s favorite suffer puppet ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ face⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ what does it mean to be descendant of something monstrous? to still love the monster? ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ creations⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ taking a break from losing the idgaf wars to enjoy things sincerely ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ audio⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ play the music box? ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ promotions⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ support rank up ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ wardrobe⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ an outfit for every occasion ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ calls⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ begin paralouge ⠀ ❫#* ⠀ ⠀ ⚔️ ⠀ ⠀ / ⠀ ⠀ blog updates⠀ ⠀ 、 ⠀ ⠀ the grip this game has on me should be studied ⠀ ❫
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alebrijediscordico · 6 months ago
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If you could relive any of your memories, which would it be?
thatssss a hard question. mostly bc my memory has been odd lmao but,
i guess. if i had to relive just one, i would pick the one where i got to sleep in a couch with my four dogs for a week
like. we had just moved after Years of not doing so, mainly bc of my parents work, and i was feeling quite excited abt it. in that week we were there we also were searchin for a bigger place since the place we were staying at was leaned, so i had to keep the dogs with me so they didnt do anything weird at night
it was the cold days of the years already too, and the sea nearby kept the temperature low. so every night i would cuddle up with one blanket and all my dogs would be curled up around me minutes later. two big ones, one of them being the puppy i wished for as a kid and somehow got in front of my house some time after, and two medium/small ones, all of them from the streets because i never had the heart to let them go
honestly. i just want to wake up one last time with all of them around me instead of just one
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3bagshotrow · 1 year ago
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middle-earth dashboard simulator
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🏵 hobbitc0re Follow
pippin was 29 years old???
🏵 hobbitc0re Follow
he should've been at the green dragon
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📸 daily-middle-earth-photos Follow
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#gates of argonath #argonath #amon hen #middle earth landscapes #photographers of middle earth #travel #dark academia #lmao pls reblog this i almost fell out of my boat taking this photo
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🦢 elfposting Follow
my hungry ass could never travel with lembas
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🐟 sojuicysweet Follow
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#the entitlement i see on this site sometimes is disgusting #y'all will just post about having easy access to lembas when we can't eats hobbit food??? #we must starve??? #vent #do not rb
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🗡 shieldmaiden Follow
CALLOUT FOR GRIMA WORMTONGUE
I've talked a lot about this already on this blog, but I want to have everything collected in one post so next time some dipshit with a white hand icon slides into my inbox to call me a liar I can just link to this post. tl;dr grima wormtongue has been poisoning my uncle and the land of rohan for the past few years, and here are the receipts:
Keep reading
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🧙‍♂️ bignaturals Follow
i stg if one more of you tells me I should've sent frodo on the eagles I'm asking iluvatar to take me back
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📖 booknerdofbree Follow
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recent read: there and back again: a hobbit's tale by bilbo baggins
I thought this was SOOO fun and cute! I'm usually not into rpf but did anyone else think there was something between bilbo and thorin? 👀 I can't be the only one who saw it. but the ending made me cry my eyes out.
4.5/5 stars
#booklr #there and back again #bilbo baggins #recent read #dark academia #light academia #book review
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🌲 elvenking69 Follow
who up mirking they wood
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🐛 manofsirith Follow
wtf the new king of gondor just bowed to these four random short guys?? everyone else bowed too and I just went along with it lmao 😅 am I missing something????
#this is right after he sang a song and made out with some hot elf chick #truly the wildest coronation i've ever been to
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🥵 firstagebaddiebracket Follow
ULTIMATE HOTTEST FIRST AGE BADDIE TOURNAMENT FINALS!!!!
🔘 haldir-deactivated30190303
here y'all go again pitting two bad bitches against each other
🌀 aragornsbigtoe Follow
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🌊 helcaraxebaby Follow
everyone who voted galadriel is a kinslayer apologist #luthiensweep
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🔥 beaconboi Follow
fuck my job so much. everyone manifest an attack on gondor so I can finally warm my fingers on this beacon fire.
🔥 beaconboi Follow
by eru this can't be happening
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