#i think this is probably the first big upset i've had to deal with since i split and oh. i am not handling it well. but i'll get there.

[starcat-reloaded]

yeah see, i've ran into the exact same issue!

got tangled up in whether to get a url, what to put on the site, how to split stuff up between our main and starcat, and so on. its so frustrating! and i'm out of time! because i have to get up SO early tomorrow for an appointment and its SO important i don't stay awake too late. UGH.

[omagpies]

hey have you considered a potential curlayna child wanting to be an astronaut and the both of them nearly have a heart attack... kthxbai

okay your ask sparked a conversation between me and @cyanidecrystal so here goes:

(slightly recolored james mcavoy faceclaim lmaooo) this is Yuri, they/them;

(sidenote: this drawing is retroactively about baby yuri now)

they grow up only knowing a very, very sanitized version of what happened on the tulpar; while PE had no finances to cover up the story, the company producing the ships did, so even the initial splash of news was quickly suppressed and only remains as sporadic bits free floating in the infosphere. curlanya only tell them the bare bones of it, but since their family relationships are solid, yuri sees no reason not to take their word for it.

what does win is curiosity, and yuri does end up trying to dig things up just to know more about their family. the blurry, low res picture of post-crash curly they manage to find is written off as either one of the dead crew members, or perhaps even something generated by AI.

as a child, yuri already proudly declares that they are going to become an astronaut; curly and anya by then still haven't set foot in a spaceship or even a plane, so they sweat nervously but ascribe it more to a childhood whim (i'm going to be an astronaut AND a president AND a garbage truck driver)

it is not, in fact, a childhood whim

as yuri is growing up, their interest becomes more prominent. curlanya, excellent parents overall, make their first serious blunder and try their best to discourage them from pursuing a career in space

of course, it means that yuri ends up going behind their backs and sneaking off on a short-ish trip (think a jupiter moon, not even leaving the system) as an intern. they text them right before they lose signal, something like 'hey, remember you said you'll make it up for me for not letting me go on that school trip? (it involved a transcontinental flight) i've got it covered now so no worries, see you in a week!'

someone on the trip recognizes yuri's last name, asks if they are related to curly. yuri is surprised by this, deeply unaware that curly had a solid reputation as a captain and a pilot back in the day.

the trip ends up taking a little longer. during it, yuri sustains a minor injury for reasons of being a goober. something benign like a mild burn or a blackeye, so they come back wearing a temporary eye patch and supremely chuffed about finally looking at least a little like dad

curlanya do not react well. they don't yell or anything, but they are Weird, and it's not the reaction yuri was expecting. they don't know how on earth this is such a big deal to them.

(meanwhile, curlanya are severely triggered by literally everything about this and are in the process of discovering that all the trauma they thought to have processed has not, in fact, been fully processed, and their kid is now making them face it on hard mode)

they do end up having an argument about it. yuri is upset and offended and says some things they probably shouldn't, like 'just because you had an accident doesn't mean i will, and you're fine anyway!' (in their defence, everything happened so long ago, and curly's had years to recover by now)

perhaps they even say something like 'i'd rather get into a crash than stay at home doing nothing like you'

yuri is forbidden from sneaking away again, so of course that's what they do.

this time, however, when someone asks them if they know curly, the person ends up telling them a fuller story of what happened. with a fresh and exciting degree of understanding of why their parents are Like That, yuri is forced to sit with their feelings until the trip is over. forced to think over all the jabs they'd thrown their parents' way because they didn't understand.

after that second trip, the three of them finally sit down to have an honest conversation. curlanya still omit some details (like anya's assault), but since yuri really does want to work in space, it's time for them to reckon with their paranoia. their trauma must not define the life of their child.

yuri asks curly how he'd lived. curly smiles and says that he doesn't know either, yuri would have to ask their mother about that.

from then on, they learn to support yuri. whatever breakdowns they have, happen when it's just the two of them.

curlanya are both emotionally involved parents, but this is where curly becomes a little more closed off and lets anya take the reins. he doesn't want to bombard their kid with his problems, so he sticks more to logistics.

(for example, obsessively looking up every crew member of every trip yuri goes on. no background goes unchecked)

eventually, yuri invites them to come on board the ship they're now working on. after much hesitation, curlanya agree. curly is allowed into the cockpit (recognized by name if not by face) and reckons with the strange mix of nostalgia and despair. the equipment is just different enough to not send him into a fully blown flashback, but he does have to make his excuses and go hyperventilate in the bathroom.

it's a real moment of growing up for yuri, when they goes to find their father and see him so helpless. it's a gradual process, a series of 'god, i never knew it was this hard for you guys to accept this'

the more they understand that, the more they, too, understand how much their parents love them and how much their support costs them

still, learning more about the accident doesn't pass without a trace for yuri. for a while, they are uncertain if this is what they really want to do. ('i think i saw a picture of you after the crash. tell me it was a fake')

anya wins that day. her trauma wasn't as obvious to strangers, wasn't gawked at or paraded like curly's. it's easier for her to think rationally about this. and after all of it, she wants yuri to chase their dream

(maybe yuri even writes a resignation letter for their company and tells anya about it. after their heart to heart, anya tells curly, and he calls the company and tells them not to process it just yet. yuri stays on the roster.)

eventually, of course, the cat is out of the bag, and someone callous enough to bring it up asks yuri about the assault and if they are a result of it.

deeply distraught, yuri doesn't immediately clock that the math doesn't math. all they can think of is that they might be the child of their mother's assailant. that curly might not be their father.

they come with it to curlanya, and that's when they finally show yuri a picture of curly from before the crash.

yuri has always thought they took after their mother in pretty much everything except eye color. now, they find a blond version of themself looking back at them, and it feels like coming home.

[olderthannetfic]

Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.

Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.

Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!

--

There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.

[factual-fantasy]

29 asks! Thank you! :)) 🍕

This is a good question :00 and it kind'a got me thinking..

If there's a situation effecting Ingo only, and its making him feel down... it'll be easier to tell. His frown is more genuine, and he doesn't talk as much. Emmet will notice pretty quickly..

But if Ingo and Emmet are sharing a stressful or upsetting situation? Ingo will go big brother mode and put all his emotions aside to comfort and calm Emmet down. After all is said and done, Ingo will find time to himself to cry it out or vent his frustrations alone. Just so Emmet doesn't have the extra stress on his shoulders.

I can imagine Emmet is aware that Ingo might bury his emotions or brush them aside sometimes.. but I can see Emmet not being aware that Ingo does it this often or with this intense of emotions. If he knew I'm sure he would make an effort to reach out to Ingo more often and comfort him too..

That makes for a good comic idea ngl.. 👀

Howdy and Poppy actually need the most work out of all the neighbors <XDD

I have this general idea that Poppy's house was built by her parents when she was little, and she's lived there ever since. I have- I'm sure a very common headcannon- that she struggles with anxiety and usually deals with it by staying on her peaceful little property.

For Howdy I mainly have ideas for his friendship with Barnaby. I imagined when he first came to the neighborhood he was kind'a nervous about meeting his new neighbors..

But thankfully Barnaby came along and broke the ice. He came on in, complimented the shop, cracked some jokes, bought a few things and had a chat with Howdy. In the end they learned a bit about each other and he made Howdy feel relaxed and welcome. :))

tbh I have no idea <XDDD I'm assuming there's hair gel, hair curlers and prayers involved XDD

Wally thankfully isn't so tired he's at risk of passing out- but I can see him frequently falling asleep on benches or tables <XD In that case Barnaby will likely be the first to find him and gently wake him up

@littlebluemew

He'd probably be spooked out of his mind might and go straight to Ratchet for help <XD

@milk-powrit

You know? I actually haven't thought much about them.. I considered that they knew about Julies wishes to become a neighbor an just didn't stop her. I should work on them more tbh..

@glitchhayden418

WAIT NO LETS TALK ABOUT THIS--

(In response to this post)

<XD Boy do I need all of those things- 💀💀 also thank you! :))

@holly-opal

:DDD Thank you!! :)))

@babqftim-questers

<XD In my pinned post I explain that I cant really draw my FNAF Au stuff atm,, nor do I feel like I have the mental energy to do so..

But hey I'd thought about coming back to Deltarune so that's something.. <:DD

oooo neat! :00 I've doodled some of the Unova Pokémon as slimes recently.. perhaps I should give the Conkeldurr line a go! :00 Maybe I can make the veins work <XDD

Boy have I, its all over tumblr XDD

THATS THE COMFORT IN THE HURT/COMFORT RIGHT THERE BABY LES GOO 💪💪💪

But for real, thank you! :DD I'm so glad to hear you like hurt/comfort too! And that you feel I do it really well!! :DDD 💞💞

In my AU, Eddie and Frank are just friends. Mostly because I don't like drawing or writing lovey dovey content for characters that aren't my own.. ehgk- 💀💀

Also thank you! :))

I have no plans for him to discover the truth, but i have plans for Eddie to eventually go "something is very wrong with this neighborhood, and something is very wrong with me."

I do have plans for Home to be the culprit behind Eddies predicament. Mostly because I want Home to be the main/only powerful and seemingly malicious entity in the neighborhood <XD

As for Frank and Eddie, I explain in the ask above that they are just friends in my AU :0

And thankfully, no. My Barnaby does not chase Eddie for being a mailman. XDDD

My version of the koopalings didn't look after JR, Kamek and Kammy did mostly- :00

And I cant remember the order of ages I gave them.. but I know I made JR the youngest, and Ludwig the oldest :00

Thank you!! :DDD I'm glad :}}}

So far I don't have any plans to for Wally to find out home is alive- and the house never does anything to make Wally suspect its alive :00

If you kept waking up at night, you wouldn't assume your house is alive- you would probably be just like Wally and assume you have some kind of weird insomnia problem..

If you heard strange groans and cracks in your house, you wouldn't assume its alive. You'd be like Wally and think "ah, makes sense. This house is super old, weird creaks and groans in the floorboards is normal." ..Get the idea? :0

@gummy-wyrmonastring (I cut out the images because they're not mine <XD)

(Slime rancher comic in question) AAAAA thank you so much!! :DD I'm glad you liked my comic!! :))

And I've heard of Undertale yellow,.. I cant say I'll play it- but I've heard good things about it that's for sure! And I've seen a lot of cool fanart for it too.. 👀👀

@whereismycupofcoffee

I cant recall ever having a dream that was better than reality- and so far this summer has been the worst in my life.. 😅👍

WAAHGHGG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THIS IS SO SWEET!!! 🥺🥺💞💞💞💞

@cry-stals

Ahh sorry, Y/N isn't apart of my Au <:/ And neither is the welcome home website- My AU is through the perspective of the puppets world being a real world :))

The text is google translated to-

"Hello! I just wanted to say that I really love your art! Your Slime Rancher AU and Welcome Home AU are very good! I hope you continue to create great works for us! Sincerely, - Japanese followers"

My response:

AAAAA Thank you so much! :DD Im so glad to hear that you like what I make!! :)))

ああああ、本当にありがとう！ :DD 私の作ったものが気に入っていただけてとても嬉しいです!! :)))

@hershelwidget (Ask was sent after this post I think)

Thank you!! :DD And I believe I know the movie you're talking about!! :DDD Its with the 9 little doll people right? I don't remember much of the movie- but I remember thinking "what on earth is happening-" and "wow this just got super dark what the heck--" XDD think it was a great movie!

@minnesotamedic186

Oooo! It sounds horrifying! :DD I'll have to look into it.. 👀👀

The only thing I can recommend is references, references, references. <:/ That's what I do!

Also thank you!! :)))

@nerdy-aroace (Referencing thins post)

AWWW THAT'S ADORABLE YOU'RE SO RIGHT FOR THATTTTT 😭😭💞💞💞

Well that's simple, Arceus created all the slimes, evolutions and all. Probably 100s and 100s of each line. And then they just filled up the planet. The final evolutions created more slimes and the first stage evolutions ate the plorts of the bigger ones.

(Sorry for the late reply! This got buried💀)

WAAHGGGG THANK YOU!! :DDD

[v-o-i-d-e-d]

I've been binging romcoms with my younger sister and we just finished "To all the boys I have loved before" and now I can't get the idea out of my head: reader writing letters for different starfleet members without intending to send them and suddenly the letters are gone and being sent to their unintended targets (lol, probably Jim did it not knowing that they were not supposed to be read or something). Problem is: our favorite vulcan will too be receiving quite a love letter. Idk, I just thought it was cute, you can ignore if it's too silly ^\\\^

This was such a cute request and I love rom-com-type situations so I ran wild. Also, I'm sorry that this took so long for me to get out I have been busy with school and other annoying responsibilities! I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Message in a Bottle

Pairing: Spock x Kirk!reader

Warnings- none!

Word Count: 4047 my hand slipped

            Lieutenant (Y/N) Kirk had been having a totally normal day. She completed her duties on the bridge as normal and had just finished eating dinner with her brother Jim. Now as she headed back to her room, she could not wait to shower, crawl into bed, and enjoy the next few hours of sleep before she had to get up and do everything again. When she entered her room the automated door hissed closed and she was finally completely alone. She took a deep breath and turned the lights in the room on. She almost immediately noticed something that completely ruined her peace.

 Earlier that morning, (Y/N) was clearing out her storage closet and had sat a white box full of envelopes on her dining room table so that she would remember to find a new place for them. That box was no longer on the table. Now, one might think why is a missing box of envelopes a big deal? Well, they aren’t. It’s the fact that the envelopes were all properly addressed and full of letters to people she knew that she never intended to send. A few sappy ‘thank you’s to old teachers, a couple to her higher-ups including Captain Christopher Pike – the man who told the Kirk siblings to enroll in Star Fleet Academy. These letters would be slightly embarrassing if they got out but nothing (Y/N) couldn’t handle. After all, everything she wrote in them was true and she appreciates everything those people have done for her. There was only one letter in that whole box that worried (Y/N)—her love letter – a detailed love letter – to one Commander Spock. She cursed herself for writing and keeping a love letter in the first place though she didn’t anticipate the whole box would disappear. She tried to think back to earlier to see if she could remember if she moved it, but when she left her room after lunch it was still on the table and she hadn’t returned since.

            “This can’t be happening. It didn’t just sprout legs and walk away!” She said to herself. (Y/N) ran a hand down her face and thought hard. She paused, “No fucking way.” She exited her room at a jog and progressively got faster as she headed toward her brother’s room. She slid to a stop in front of the white door of the captain's quarters and rapidly slammed her fist against it.

            “James, open the door right now!”

The door slid open revealing a perplexed – and slightly afraid – Jim Kirk. He knew he had done something wrong for her to be angry enough to come to his room calling him by his full name. Of course, he had no idea what he had done but he decided it was best to try to start off ahead.

            “Look, I know you’re upset about-“

            “Did you move the white box on my dining room table when you were in my room earlier?”

            “Wait, what? That’s what you’re mad about?” Jim scrunched his face up and scratched the top of his head. (Y/N)’s eyes widened and she briefly looked around the corridor before shoving Jim back into his room and following him in. The door shut with a hiss and (Y/N) closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. When she opened her eyes Jim was staring at her with a confused expression and his hands crossed over his chest.

            “Please, for the love of god, tell me you didn’t mail those letters,” (Y/N) said as calmly as she possibly could. Silence followed her question and she already knew the answer.

            “Well –“

            “Oh. My. God.”

            “There was a box of addressed envelopes on the table so I thought you needed them mailed!”

            “Jim! Why would you mail someone else's letters? Isn’t that, like, illegal or something?” (Y/N) was absolutely freaking out and, for the life of him, Jim couldn’t understand why.

            “I was trying to be nice! I knew you had a long day today and I wanted to take something off your plate! Excuse me for being a good brother,” Jim rolled his eyes at his sister and threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

            “Well, jackass, a good brother would have asked before just taking a box from his sister’s room and now there is a love letter headed to your second in command!”

A long pause followed her statement. Jim blinked once. Twice. Then a prolonged third blink.

            “What?” Jim had no idea what to say. (Y/N) groaned and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She began to pace in the entryway and ramble about how dumb she was to write it in the first place and how she should have burned the letters when she had the chance. Jim finally shook his head to rouse himself out of his stunned silence.

            “Why the hell would you write a love letter…to Spock? Or to anyone for that matter what is this 1812?” Jim chuckled at his own joke but covered it with a cough when (Y/N) glared at him.

            “I don’t know! I like writing letters and I just started writing one day and it turned into a full blown sappy confession that I had planned to keep hidden till the day I died! Now it’s headed off to the last person in the universe who I wanted to see it.”

            “Well, maybe this isn’t so bad.”

            “I want you to stop talking.”

            “No, I’m serious maybe this is what you two need to stop dancing around the obvious!” Jim gestured vaguely with his hands as (Y/N) ceased her pacing. She sighed and shook her head.

            “Jim, we’ve been over this: Spock does not feel that way about me. And that’s fine!” (Y/N) and her brother had had many conversations about this subject. Always with Jim insisting that the feelings were mutual and (Y/N) denying that Spock would ever even look at her in that way. I’m his best friend’s little sister and his subordinate, she thought, He’s way too professional for that.

            Before Jim could respond, both of their communicators chimed. They were being called back to the bridge for an emergency. They briefly held eye contact before rushing toward the door. As they jogged toward the bridge, (Y/N) continued the conversation.

            “Okay did you just mail them today?”

            “Why are we still talking about this?”

            “Because I want to know how long I have to transfer to another part of the fucking galaxy to avoid embarrassment,” They turned a corner and the lights flickered before flashing red. The ship shuttered and Jim and (Y/N) struggled to regain footing.

 ��          “Is it bad that I’m hoping whatever just happened happened to happen to the mail room?”

            “Yes. And that was way too many uses of the word ‘happened’.”

Six hours and several shots fired later, the trouble was averted. A rogue Klingon battalion had decided to attack the Enterprise while it was stationary and almost destroyed the engines but quick thinking from Jim, (Y/N), Spock, and Sulu had saved the day. (Y/N) was officially beyond exhausted. She was so tired, in fact, that she forgot about the whole letter situation and went straight to bed after the whole debacle was over.

Day 1 of waiting:

She slept blissfully and woke up rested and ready for the day. She had gotten dressed and ready and made her way back to the bridge. Unfortunately, her blissful restfulness was cut short when she laid eyes on a certain Commander and remembered the imminent embarrassment that was bound to ruin her life at some point this week.

            “Good morning, Lieutenant Kirk. You look rested.” Spock greeted her with a nod as he fell in step with her toward the bridge elevator.

            “Uh, yeah, good morning,” (Y/N) managed to only stutter once and she quickly cleared her throat. She shouldn’t be freaking out. They walked together to the bridge all the time. Of course, normally Jim is with them but still, casual meetings with Spock were not entirely out of the ordinary. As they walked, silence filled the space between the two and, to (Y/N), it was suffocating. Something on her face must have given away the fact that something was wrong.

            “Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant?” Spock asked. His face was neutral but he side eyed (Y/N) intensely. Briefly, (Y/N) met his heavy gaze before looking straight ahead.

            “Yup, feeling absolutely terrific!” She couldn’t even believe herself. Spock raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak again but, luckily for (Y/N), he was interrupted.

            “Lieutenant Kirk.” It was Scotty. God bless him! (Y/N) thought.

            “What’s up, Scotty?” Was that the formal way to address him? No. But (Y/N) just wanted to get out of speaking with Spock one-on-one.

            “I need to speak to you. There are some issues with a few of the privates stationed in the engine room and I could use your help to resolve the issue before I throw some people out of the airlock!” His accent was strong with annoyance and (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle.

            “Sure thing,” She turned to Spock who had paused beside her, “You go on to the bridge, I’ll be in the engine room if you need me in the meantime.” Without waiting for an answer, (Y/N) hurried toward the engine room leaving Scotty to trail behind.

Day 2 of waiting:

            It was only the second day, and Spock had already caught on to the fact that (Y/N) was avoiding him. (Y/N) knew it was not going to be easy to allude him while also keeping it a secret that she was doing it on purpose, after all – Spock isn’t an idiot and (Y/N) is anything but subtle. Spock and (Y/N) had a routine and of course in an effort to not speak to him (Y/N) had changed it so that she was usually off the bridge when Spock was there and vice versa.

            “Lieutenant Kirk you are needed on the bridge,” Chekov’s thick accent crackled through (Y/N)’s communicator and she sighed. She knew Spock would be there which is why she was currently in the engine room recalibrating the warp drive. It was busy work that she normally wouldn’t do but anything to avoid the impending embarrassment.

            “On my way.”

            When she arrived, Spock immediately shifted his gaze from his work to her. (Y/N) briefly met his gaze before walking toward her brother who was seated in his chair with his legs thrown over the armrest. She rolled her eyes.

            “What do you want, Jim?”

            “That’s no way to address your captain, Lieutenant,” Jim had a smug smile on his face – as usual – and it took everything in (Y/N) not to smack him on the back of his head.

            “Tell me what you want or I’m leaving. I was working, unlike some people,” She scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into her hip.

            “Okay, I am sending you and Spock on a mission,” Jim’s smirk got wider as he noticed his sister’s eye twitch in annoyance. “The planet we’re coming up on is supposed to be abandoned but there should be evidence of a previous civilization. I figured with your archeological knowledge and Spock’s general smart-assery you two would fit the job perfectly.”

(Y/N) took a deep breath in through her nose as she glared at Jim. She sneaked a glance at Spock.

He was listening in on the conversation – an action he deemed logical since it also pertained to him. His eyes were focused on the screen in front of him but he could see (Y/N) from the corner of his eye. He noticed her normally relaxed state was exchanged for tensed shoulders and a glowering expression. Whatever had been going on yesterday had most certainly carried into today. He thought. (Y/N) Kirk was one of his closest friends just as James Kirk was. Though many things that the younger Kirk did were illogical and not well thought out, she knew how to get the results she wanted and always figured out a way for everyone to be happy or at least safe. Spock enjoyed her company even more than he enjoyed her brother’s. She was smart, kind, and usually quiet if it was just the two of them. She was a challenging chess opponent and someone dear to his heart. Not that he would say that to her.

(Y/N) sighed, “Okay. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. We’ll be in the atmosphere at around 12 o’clock Earth time so you’ve got plenty of time to research and prepare. Why don’t you and Spock take the rest of the day for whatever nerd stuff you need to do,” Jim waved his sister off before getting up and leaving the bridge. (Y/N) glared at his back as he left before begrudgingly walking over to Spock.

“Hey, Spock,” she said. Her eyes were focused on the ground rather than up at the Vulcan who was looking at her intently. (Y/N) took a breath in through her nose before finally lifting her gaze to meet Spock’s, “Let’s go get some lunch and we can talk about the mission.”

Before the Vulcan had the chance to respond, (Y/N) quickly turned on her hell and started walking toward the elevator. Spock easily caught up to her before the doors closed and as the elevator began to descend, Spock spoke up.

“(Y/N), are you feeling ill?” Spock dropped the formalities and asked straight out. (Y/N) lifted an eyebrow and looked at her Commander with a curious gaze.

“No, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” This was a stupid question, (Y/N) realized. Her behavior was at best erratic and clearly intentional so it was only logical for Spock to know something was wrong. She did breathe an internal sigh of relief knowing that Spock hadn’t received the letter, otherwise, she was sure he would have confronted her by now – mutual feelings or not.

“You’ve been acting strange for the last couple of days. I want to be sure that your behavior will not negatively affect your performance on this mission.”

(Y/N) fought the urge to roll her eyes as the elevator doors hissed open. Of course. She thought. He’s only worried about this dumb mission my dumb brother is sending us on to torture me.

“I am also worried about your well-being, Lieutenant.” Spock’s surprising sentiment almost made (Y/N) trip on her own foot. She cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders as they turned the corner of the hallway.

“I promise, I’m okay. Just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Ah, yes, the letter.”

(Y/N) swore her heart stopped right there in the hallway. She hesitantly looked at Spock, trying her best to keep her expression as neutral as his. She didn't know how to respond I could play dumb, she mused, but he’s too smart for that to work. The man knows my handwriting so it would be impossible for me to deny that I wrote it. She took a deep breath through her nose, Fuck it.

“Yeah, actually that is what’s on my mind. And honestly, I had hoped I could just ignore the problem but I should have known that wouldn’t work with you.” (Y/N) rambled.

“Why would this be a problem?” Spock tilted his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows, something that (Y/N) found impossible endearing.

“It could ruin things! In so many ways!” By now, (Y/N) was pacing the hallway and Spock was more confused than ever. “You’re my superior officer and I just sent a love letter to you! Of course, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to send it that would be my genius brother. But I was dumb enough to leave the box out and allow him into my room! But I mean, who mails other people’s letters without asking? What was he even thinking?”

“(Y/N) –“

“I’m so sorry! I seriously didn’t mean to tell you like this and if I’m honest, I didn’t intend on telling you at all! My feelings were supposed to be kept to myself! Well, to myself and Jim but he’s a nosey bastard who obviously can’t mind his business! I don't know why I tell him anything and honestly, I wish he’d just – “

“(Y/N).” Spock, tired of listening to her pointlessly rambling on about how annoying her brother is – a fact he knew to be true – grabbed her gently by the shoulder to get her to stop pacing. Now that she wasn’t speaking and instead was staring up at him like a kicked puppy waiting to be scolded his mind went blank. Spock was officially at a loss for words. “I was talking about the letter of promotion Admiral Pike sent you. About the head of engineering position.”

She wanted to disappear. Perhaps if she willed it hard enough, she could fade from existence on the spot. For once, it was running her own mouth that got her in trouble instead of her brother’s. (Y/N) tried to read Spock’s expression but couldn’t and that sent even more anxiety straight to her gut.

“Oh.” That was all she managed to say. She quickly regained her wits, “Then just forget everything I said and we can just go back to normal!” She let out a nervous laugh that sounded more like a cry and started to walk in the direction of the cafeteria. However, Spock hadn’t let go of her shoulder and as she walked away his grip slipped from her shoulder down to her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Wait.” That was all he managed to say. His mind was still reeling trying to decipher her quick words. A love letter. He thought. She loves me? He couldn’t believe it. “You love me?”

Despite her distraught state, she had to admit she had never seen Spock looking so dumbfounded, as if what she said was something he had never thought of in any scenario. His hand still held hers firmly and he gently pulled her back towards him. “You love me.” He said again, though this time it seemed as though he was finally understanding the situation.

“Okay, Spock, you’re starting to sound like a broken record, and the record is titled Hurting (Y/N)’s Feelings.” She chuckled only to keep herself from bursting into tears out of sheer embarrassment. This was the moment she was dreading. The absolute end of a friendship and a lifetime of shame. I’ll have to go into exile. Maybe I’ll ask Scotty to throw me out of the airlock. She thought. Just as she was about to speak again, Spock dropped her hand turned on his heel, and headed back in the direction they came from. That was when the damn broke and (Y/N)’s eyes welled up with hot tears. Blinking rapidly, she haphazardly looked around the hallway to make sure no one saw her before jetting away in the direction of her room.

“You left her in the hallway?” Jim was on the verge of shouting. He was absolutely flabbergasted at Spock’s behavior. Spock rolled his eyes.

“I was unsure of what I was supposed to do.”

“So you decided to leave my baby sister in the hallway, by herself, after basically confessing her undying love for you.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Trust me, I am not.” Jim ran a hand through his hair and huffed out an annoyed sigh. He paced back and forth, a habit that Spock noticed the siblings share, before looking back at his second in command. “Okay, you have to go after her.”

Spock knew this. It was obviously the most logical course of action. There was only one problem: “What am I supposed to say to her?”

“Apologize for rudely walking away, first off. Then – and this is just a spitball idea – tell her you feel the same!”

Jim was actually convinced that Spock’s brain had short-circuited. Spock wasn’t firing on all cylinders because if he was, he would understand the logical thing to do. Secretly, Jim was happy this situation happened. He had been trying to the Spock and his sister together for months now but he found the process to be similar to cutting a tree down with a blunt axe.

“Beginning a relationship with Lieutenant Kirk would violate –“

“Not if she accepts the promotion.”

“She’d still be my subordinate!”

“Only in the same way Scotty is our subordinate! He only has to listen to us sometimes.”

“That is not how the ranking system works.”

“Who cares?” Jim was tired of arguing with Spock over something that seemed so obvious. Spock felt the same way. “Listen, if you don’t want to tell her you have feelings for her I can’t make you. What I can tell you is that no matter what you do the sentence needs to start with I’m sorry and end with something nice. Turn off the Vulcan side for a change, not everything you do has to be completely logical. Sometimes we just need to do things that we want.”

It must have been a strange sight. The commanding officer of the USS Enterprise stood stiffly in front of (Y/N)’s quarters. He was still trying to figure out what exact words he needed to say and he had taken to scratching at his cuticles out of nervousness. I should not just be standing here. He thought. Shaking his head and finally lifting his clenched fist, he knocked twice. Panic briefly set into his veins as he realized he was actually going to have to talk to (Y/N). A cold shiver ran up his spine as the door’s airlock hissed open and revealed (Y/N) on the other side. He could tell she had been crying, though the tears seemed to be mostly dry by now. Her red-rimmed eyes lightly glared up at him and she crossed her arms tightly over her body.

“Can I help you?” Her voice was scratchy and her words were punctuated by a sniffle. Spock felt an ache deep in his gut from knowing he had made her feel this way.

“I-“ He paused. Once again he was speechless but he was determined to make this right. “I apologized for the way I behaved. Leaving you there after such an important moment was not the right thing to do and I am sorry for hurting you.” Even as he did his best to keep his tone even he couldn’t help the slight waver in his voice.

“It’s alright, Spock. Honest. I’ll be okay and ready for the mission tomorrow. Like I said we can just go back to normal and forget about it.” She was offering him an out. He knew he could easily just take it and go but part of him, a large part of him refused to give up that easily.

“No.”

“What?”

“I do not wish to return to normal.”

“Oh.” (Y/N) believed this to be the final moment of friendship. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. “Um, okay. I guess you can just do the mission alone or ask my brother to –“

“You misunderstand. I do not want to return to normal because I reciprocate your feelings of affection.”

Oh. (Y/N) thought. A moment of silence passed between them. Spock watched (Y/N)’s face for any sign of emotion but she seemed frozen. He wouldn’t lie, she thought. Vulcans don’t lie. “You do?” her voice was quieter than she intended, almost a whisper.

Spock took her hand in his larger one. “Of course I do. I believe an adequate way to put it would be you have bewitched me, body and soul.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help the giggle, “So you do listen when I talk about Jane Austin. I thought you found romance novels illogical.”

“Everything about you is illogical, but that is one of the many things I find alluring about you.” They both smiled. (Y/N) had only seen Spock actually smile a few times and each time it was like new life had filled her lungs but this time it was even better knowing that the smile was put there solely for her. And this time, she couldn’t stop herself from kissing that smile even if she tried.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Private Show (NSFW)

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: PURE SMUT AHEAD 🤭🤭

Synopsis: When your husband is upset and misses you, you will do absolutely anything for him.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: a dream that I had last night lol

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You had just taken off your dress along with your shoes and plopped down on the bed when your phone rang indicating a facetime call. When you grabbed it from the nightstand, you saw that it was Jack and quickly answered.

"Hi baby!" You excitedly said as his face came into view, but he was simply sporting a pout which had you confused.

"Pookie, is everything okay?" You asked growing concerned since he had yet to say anything.

"Today was just a rough day and it doesn't help that I miss you." He quietly said and a sigh escaped your lips.

"Do you want to talk about it? It might help if you do."

"No, I just wanted to see your beautiful face and make sure my girl was good."

"Well, I'm fine, but my husband isn't and I don't like that."

"It'll be fine, baby. I'm probably making it more of a big deal than it has to be."

"Your feelings are valid, smush. I always tell you that. No need to hide the way you feel."

You were now taking off your jewelry and had propped up your phone in front of you when Jack finally took in the sight of you.

"Is that bra new?"

"It is, do you like it? Rih sent it to me along with a bunch of other things, but I'll save those for when I see you in person." You answered and Jack instantly smiled.

"You should have saved that one. You know how I feel about lace." Jack commented and you noticed that he kept adjusting and you raised your eyebrow.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?"

"You're bricked up right now, aren't you?" You asked while smirking.

"I'm always bricked up around you because my wife is sexy as fuck. I thought that was understood and besides it's been like three weeks since I've been in you." 

"Then I think your wife needs to help you with that. I got an idea."

"What is it because the last thing I need to get is blue balls. You about to play with that pretty pussy for me and make me cum by watching you?"

"If that's what my man wants, I'll do it. Hold on a minute."

The bottom drawer of the nightstand contained all of your toys and you immediately opened it to reach in and grabbed your dildo that was a mold made of Jack's that he got for you one Valentines Day.

When you came back in the view of the camera holding it, Jack immediately bit his lip and you could tell he was palming himself through the comforter since you could no longer see his hands. 

"Take it out, I wanna watch you. I don't know why you're acting shy around me. This is nothing compared to other things we've done."

"I'm not, I-...."

"Take it out." Jack finally complied and once you saw the precum leaking from the tip, your mouth was watering.

"Much better." You said as Jack was slowly starting to jerk himself off.

"But I need that bra off. And are you going to use the toy I made for you or simply hold it? You know what? Get your vibrator too."

Reaching over once again to the drawer, you took out your pink vibrator happy that you had charged it the night before. Once you came back into Jack's view, you slowly slid your bra off along with the panties that matched it and moved to the top of the bed spreading your legs for Jack to have a full view of you. You could already feel the river forming down below and you took it upon yourself to place the dildo in your mouth to make it wet so it would be easier to insert it.

"Got damn, baby." 

"What? I have to make sure it's wet enough so it can go in easier." You responded while laughing.

"I can guarantee you that you probably didn't even need to do that. It's like the damn ocean down there."

"Well I can't help it if my man makes me this wet all the time." You put it back in your mouth and spit began to leak out of the sides falling onto your chest.

"Play with your nipples for me. Spread that shit on them."

"Mm my baby is eager tonight isn't he? But I can do you one better." A smile graced your lips before you brought your left nipple to your mouth and lightly sucked on it making a moan escape from Jack's lips.

You looked back up at Jack after you had switched to the right one and was trying to figure out when he had lost his shirt, but there were more important things to worry about.

You were determined to do whatever your man wanted in order to get him to cum. 

The dildo left your mouth with a popping sound and you slowly inserted it letting out a quiet moan.

"Mmm, baby it feels so good." 

"That's my good girl. Take that shit." 

"Oohh, oh fuckkk."

"Is my good girl going to cum for me?" Jack asked you as you immediately nodded and focused on the task at hand while increasing your pace.

"Use your words, baby. And stop holding back. I wanna hear you."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, daddy. I'm going to cum for you."

"Put that vibrator on your clit." 

You reached with your left hand to where it was and put it on the lowest setting before hearing Jack's voice once again.

"I know your ass didn't just put it on the lowest setting. Turn it up. I want to see those legs shaking."

You complied as you placed your left hand to hold the vibrator on your clit while using the right to keep your dildo going at the same space.

Your eyes were closed, but you opened them to see Jack jerking himself off to your movements and the moans that he was letting out was putting you over the edge.

"Oh shit, baby I'm about to…." You breathlessly said while turning up your vibrator to the highest setting that it would go to.

"Fuck, me too."

Within the next thirty seconds, you squirted all over the sheets and your phone and it took you by surprise since the only time it ever happened, Jack had been the reason for it.

Jack was coming down from his high, but was looking just as surprised as you were because of what just happened.

"Well shit. Look who taught herself how to squirt." 

"I.. don't even know what I did differently. But I'm definitely going to try to do it again." You said while taking the dildo out and inserting it into your mouth once again and sucking on it.

"Fuck, I can't wait until that pretty little mouth of yours has my dick in your mouth."

"Technically it already does baby seeing as this is a mold of yours. But I get it. Do you feel better?" You asked while setting the dildo and vibrator to the side.

"Yes, thank you baby."

"You know I'll do anything for you." A smile graced your face as you simply looked at him and he smirked.

"Right back at you, baby."

You couldn't help but to notice that it seemed like Jack wanted to say something else. 

"Smush, is something wrong?"

"Do you have one more in you?" 

"Hmm, depends. What's next baby?"

"I want you riding it this time."

"I expect a generous tip when I see you in three days." 

"You know that you're about to get a lot more than that. You got some Louboutins waiting for you. Be a good girl for me and I just might throw in a Birkin and another Givenchy outfit."

"Let's get to it then."

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[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 4

Because I have asks in my inbox about the color coding in Pit Babe even though I don't want to watch it, I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are. I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, I'm going to take off the captions.

I ship it. The reds are bad, but I don't trust a single blue except Alan. Kim is a honest red. I appreciate that in a show FULL OF LIARS!

Yes, Barbara! Be upset with this fake blue boy. Are you telling him how you saw him with Jeffery?!

I know Babe and Charlie are end game, but without subtitles, my hate for Charles grows each episode. The visuals are telling me he is a liar who does not respect boundaries. Charles should be with Waymond the way they both are LIARS!

And this is why I trust Alan, and only Alan. Drinking that color-coded product placement like his life depended on it.

Waymond, I trusted you. Then you turned red last episode, and now I'm noticing how you don't. wear. blue.

Y'all just talking freely in front of THE SPY NAMED JEFFREY!

Every episode, I feel worse for Barbara. Someone get him out of here (not Waymond or Charles, but a secret third option).

GOD DAMN IT! Not him! Why is everyone so handsy in this show?!

Something is happening! I'm so tempted to turn on the subtitles. Something is going on. What is Waymond telling Barbara?! Because something is clicking for Barbara. This is good acting because Barbara's posture changed. WHAT IS BEING SAID?!

Before he was a Slut for Christ, Barbara had a steering wheel necklace.

Waymond, what did you do because you are in love with our Barbie? Did you make a deal with the devil aka Big Red?

IT HAPPENED AGAIN?!

Babe's posture changed. What is Way telling him?! What is happening?! This is strange. I don't like it.

Wait, did we know Jeff and Charlie were roommates? Was Babe just jealous of them being roommates? Did I think they were lying when Babe is just being jealous?

What is happening?! See, nah. Even if Babe knew they were roommates, I still don't trust Charlie because this incident is too convenient. Babe gets attacked and Charlie just happens to be around. And he isn't even fighting back. This is the fight with Kim all over again. Something is off.

I do not like it here. These two pop up every time there is trouble, and Jeffery keeps staring at everyone all sus like, and BABE RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW! Big Red is there. GET OUT!

There are no colors to guide me here, but I trust Kim, so . . . did Winner send people to hurt Babe and Kim is upset about it? Nah. I don't trust Charles soooooo much, that I'm still betting that he set that up.

I know you and Kim will be a thing, Kenta, and I've thought you were good since the first episode, but I need you to pick a color that ain't black. I trust your future boyfriend, so I'm extending you some grace as you stand next to the devil.

Barbara, why is this man in your house? Did you invite him over or did he not respect another boundary? You probably told him to come over because *love* or whatever. Disgusting. I'm as annoyed as you, Barbara.

He had an entire sling on just hours ago making sandwiches, and now he is slicing and dicing. Don't tell me they have special healing powers. I don't want to know. Babe looks unwell, and Charlie is being creepy, and I'm in my feelings about it.

Jeffrey isn't bothered by touch anymore? Are they already sleeping together then. Babe needs to quit arguing with Jeffrey because the trailer had a car on fire, and I KNOW Jeffrey will be behind it.

Normally, I'd be thrilled for colorful characters, but I 👏🏾 Don't 👏🏾 Trust 👏🏾 Them 👏🏾

Y'all, does Babe know they are roommates, and is just jealous?! I still don't trust Charles or Jeffrey, but now I'm thinking I'm judging them too harshly if Babe is being irrationally jealous instead of being lied to.

So either Jeffrey is coming up with the plan to sabotage the car or he is seeing the future (where he sabotages the car).

I don't care if Babe knew Charles and Jeffrey are roommates and is just being jealous. Charles has no respect for boundaries and is a color faker; therefore, I hate him.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING BLUE AND RED, PETER?! You're wearing more blue though. Why was Kenta watching you? Why did he call Big Red? Why will you end up with Way? CAN I TRUST YOU, KATNISS?!

Babe is at his darkest watching his stalker lurk around his house.

Barbara shook Kimberly's hand, and that's all I need to support my Kim-is-a-good-red theory. But then Charles is watching this game with Sus Bros & Co, so I'm mad all over again.

JEFFREY, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DID THIS, I HOPE ALAN CHOKES YOU TO DEATH! And if it was Winner, who was SMILING, I hope Kim chokes you to death.

Alan, don't trust either of their asses. Do you hear me?! Go save our Barbie from the clutches of Charles before it's too late.

Afterthoughts: I really think watching this show without subs was the dumbest idea I've had because now I think I got some of the plot wrong and Babe is just super jealous instead of being lied too, and I'm wrongfully trusting Kim, but I'm committed to the bit. It's too late to turn them on now, and I refuse to go back and watch these episodes with subs since I'm so mad at Charles, Jeffrey, and Waymond who is doing some strange stuff to Barbara.

I only trust Babe, Alan, Kim, and Pete (because he is pretty).

Everyone else is a liar, liar, pants on fire.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Storm/The Eye, Pt. 5

Believing that Weir is dead and McKay is in mortal peril, Sheppard proceeds to go on what amounts to a rampage.

The first scene of The Eye (S01E10) seems to continue the show's meta-commentary. McKay, brave toaster that he is and possibly at least partially motivated by the desperation that they can all hear in Sheppard's voice over the intercom, places himself between the gun and Elizabeth. The dialogue tells us what's going on (with the show and where it's heading):

Kolya: Sheppard put you in this position, not me. McKay: You can't do this. This is crazy. You need her! Sora: She's right, Commander. McKay: I'm not kidding. There are codes required to activate the shield – codes that only she knows. You can't do it without her! Well, you can't do this without me either. I mean, we're a package deal. You take us out of the equation and-and-and-and you don't have an end game.

The fact that Weir and McKay are a package deal is emphasized by their placement, McKay coming to stand in front of Weir and obstructing her. That is to say, the show needs to imply attraction between Weir and Sheppard to be able to explore the relationship between Sheppard and McKay in subtext, to blur the lines between the characters and their relationships. The first they could easily have done without the latter, but the latter they could never have pulled off without the former (re: the shows ties to the USAF and DADT still being a thing when it aired). It offers the cover of plausible deniability while allowing people attuned to homoerotic subtext to easily be able to recognize the narrative undercurrent.

Again, note that McKay is lying to save Weir, claiming that he absolutely needs her help to save the city. Also, it's Kolya mentioning Sheppard by name that initially makes McKay dive in front of the gun. He says "Sheppard put you into this position, not me" which has the implication that if McKay allowed Kolya to shoot Weir, Sheppard would have to live with the guilt of it for the rest of his life, and McKay wasn't about to let that happen. He hears Sheppard's name and he immediately reacts, does something really brave and heroic without even having time to think about it. Because, as I've discussed previously, he is a Big Damn Hero and this very characteristic of his is what Sheppard admires and loves in him so much, even though he doesn't even get to see it this time.

Halfway through his rant McKay realizes that he just put himself into jeopardy, and this is when he starts consciously doing the same thing he has been doing with the Genii ever since their first encounter: trying to convince them of his invaluability (and it's striking that it's always in the service of trying to save someone else, not just or even predominately himself). He has self-esteem issues, he doesn't actually believe he's invaluable. But probably since he was a child he's had to project invaluability, has had to prove to people that he is a valuable asset, to gain acceptance. He thinks that he will only be tolerated if he proves himself irreplaceable.

The characters continue lying to one another. Kolya lets Sheppard know that Weir is dead.

I want to point out two things. Where Sheppard was extremely agitated just a moment ago, willing to do anything, he is extremely and exaggeratedly calm when he tells Kolya that he is going to kill him. Of course he is very upset that Weir should have been killed on his watch. Of course he cares about Weir and is upset by this. But again knowing the outcome changed his demeanor. Sure, responding in a cool and collected way is a performance to hide the fact that he is internally shaken. But he still manages to pull it off.

Then Kolya continues with "Stay out of my way or McKay will join her." That is when we get a brief glimpse at how Sheppard is actually feeling, his internal conflict and anguish (and which is something that he has no intention of letting Kolya know, hence putting the radio down):

Now. My friends. When you desperately need something, you need something so badly that you're willing to kill for it, you start killing off things from the least important to the most important. Like when a parent starts counting down from ten when they're warning a child that unless they cease their behaviour, they're going to "get it". You don't start from one, you start from ten and count downwards.

If Kolya had thought that Weir was Sheppard's main motivation, he would not have started by killing her off. Never mind how important McKay may have been, you keep the ace up your sleeve as long as you can. And Kolya had decided that the ace up his sleeve was McKay, which is why he reminds Sheppard that he is, in fact, still very much holding him hostage.

Again, the main stream audience is going to watch the show thinking Sheppard's entire upset has to do with Weir and Weir alone. And yet we always seem to find McKay between references to Weir and changes in Sheppard's demeanor. And once more, given what we saw of their interaction in the previous episode (Sheppard barely saw Weir when the three of them were in the lab together; he was so focused on McKay it's as though she weren't even there for him; we've really had zero indication of him harbouring some hidden secret passion for her that would explain this reaction; she is not the love of his life and a budding interest would not even begin to explain his reaction here), it makes so much more sense to interpret this reaction and the events that follow as motivated by McKay. Especially in the context of him having lost Captain Holland to enemy combatants in Afghanistan, as we later learn.

Also notice that once Kolya mentions McKay, Sheppard doesn't respond. There are probably a hundred things he could have said, maybe even wanted to say. You can read it all on his face. But he doesn't say anything because he doesn't dare do anything that might provoke this sociopath further. He actually has to stop himself from saying something he might regret. He can't risk responding. Like, he physically has to force his hand down to keep from say something that McKay might end up paying for.

Sheppard was afraid that he wasn't going to be able to save the people he cares about from the storm before, but this is a whole new kind of fear. This is a nightmare of the kind he had never even thought to have. But he's going to move heaven and earth to save the man. He's even willing to kill to save him. Kill a lot of people to save him, as it turns out.

And it is also noteworthy that he immediately springs into action, here. We've seen previously how characters are incapacitated when they lose someone important to them (cf. Cowen sitting down with his legs giving way when he mourns Tyrus). Sheppard is the opposite of incapacitated (in fact, we see him incapacitated in this particular fashion in Doppelganger, S04E04, when he thinks McKay is dead, so we see what Sheppard is like when he's lost the most important thing to him; he's slow, sluggish, going through the motions). This is not a man going through the motions, this is a man on a mission.

Again we get a transition from Sheppard's emotion to the raging storm to indicate that there's a storm also raging within him. The storm is a metaphor for what's going on inside him. And the calmness with which he then proceeds to take out the Genii is him being in the eye of the storm. Because the show is subtle with the symbolism like that.

Sheppard is moving fast, he's being strategic. He's not someone that's blinded by rage on a revenge mission because someone just killed the love of his life. He's also not acting reckless, putting himself needlessly in danger and this is not because he has some payback to do and someone to kill but because he has someone to save. You can contrast all of this with Sora's behaviour later on with regards to her vengeance against Teyla.

He even stops to check his watch at one point because he remembers McKay's words about them being under a time element, that there's a deadline looming over them all -- this is reinforced by the fact that the previous time Sheppard checked his watch, it was on the balcony right after McKay had just checked his watch (unwittingly mirroring someone's actions, again a sign of attraction; although synchronizing watches is also a very military thing to do, to be sure) and told them they have just over four and a half hours until the storm hits.

We are literally told that it's McKay he's thinking about when he stops and actually asks himself, "What would McKay do?" Again reminding us of the fact that for Sheppard, McKay is a hero. That McKay is constantly on his mind.

I also need to emphasize that he is killing actual people here. Yes, they're enemies but they are also human. This is the first time we see him kill humans after the mercy killing of Col. Sumner.

McKay starts fixing the grounding station and it's really quite sweet how he attempts to make it look like Elizabeth is vital to the process to keep her alive. It's not that he's trying to be a hero, it just comes naturally to him. He's not very good with people, though, so Elizabeth both has to explain to him that they need to stall and to actually lie on his behalf. When they overhear that Sheppard has killed some of the Genii strike force over the intercom, it's again only McKay's reaction that we get to this, not Weir's. He made a mental note of it albeit he does not seem to know what to think of it. Sheppard is alive, yes. He's being hunted by people with guns. And he's having to do terrible things.

McKay really is quite rattled, never having been in this kind of situation before. And it's interesting that Weir uses Sheppard to kick McKay into gear. She actually mentions Sheppard by name: "Look, from the sound of it, if we can buy Sheppard enough time, it seems like he can take care of the rest of them on his own." Not only had she figured out that this is what would motivate McKay the best, she is actually getting him to focus by appeasing him, pointing it out to him that Sheppard is really doing quite well for himself out there. She's not telling him that they're going to be alright, she's telling him that Sheppard is safe. Because for some reason she thinks that that's what will motivate him.

And Kolya does the opposite. He's trying to demoralize them by mentioning Sheppard by name: "If you're hoping Major Sheppard can diminish our numbers, you are mistaken." And notice that he is saying this to McKay. He glances at Weir a few times but when he is saying this, he is looking directly and only at McKay. An angel and a devil on his shoulders, they're both using Sheppard to get to him. I find that really interesting. Now, Weir knows him and has been able to observe them for a while now. But these people are complete strangers to Kolya, and he's still figured it out.

Now, if earlier Sheppard had to stop himself from saying something that might cause McKay trouble, McKay seems to be doing the same thing. And keeping quiet isn't the easiest thing for him, does not come to him naturally. But he keeps quiet because he's trying very hard not to make things worse for the Major.

If both Kolya and Weir are using Sheppard to motivate McKay, Sheppard himself is using McKay to motivate himself:

He has a dilemma here. He's trying to think of what McKay would do in his situation but he's come across explicit instructions from McKay not to do what he's thinking about doing. That's quite the pickle! (Also hilarious that the sign can be read as implying that touching McKay is dangerous, telling him not to do it). Are you thinking about touching McKay right now? Because this is not the time, my friend.

From the pleased look on Rodney's face, Sheppard was able to correctly intuit what he would have done in the situation when he shuts down the naqada generator. It's like they're working together as a team even when they are apart.

Continued in Pt. 6

[inlovewithregencyera]

transcript under cut : )

Thornfield House, July 7th, 1818

North: And are you in any pain my Lord?

Frederick: *coughing* It hurts when I cough. Sometimes when I breathe.

North: Yes..strictly hot milk and broth to quench the thirst and alleviate the pain.

Frederick: *quietly* Bell..?

Isabella: Yes, Frederick? I'm here.

Frederick: where is max?

Isabella: Oh, he's still slightly upset after everything that happened last night. I'm sure he'll come around.

Frederick: *coughing* Yes, well he's a fool if he thinks he'll stop me from attending that party.

Isabella: Frederick, given your condition, I think it best you don’t go. Please listen to Dr. North, you’re not stable.

Frederick: And bare the thought of Aurelia worrying about me and thinking the worst.?! No, I can't do it.

Isabella: *sniffling* Oh, Dr. North! Tell him he cannot go in the state he’s in!

North: Best we keep to my treatments, m'lord. You mustn't strain yourself. It'd be scandalous if you went to that party and fainted publicly...

Isabella: *wiping eyes* See, Frederick. You leave Aurelia for me to worry about.

Frederick: Please spare her any details of all of this.I don't want her knowing until she absolutely has to....

Isabella: Don't worry, I will. Also, don't worry about Max. I'll deal with him.You know he's extremely sensitive, this is a big blow for him...

Frederick: *coughing* Yes, yes, well. I dare say he will manage when things take a turn for the worst, he always does. He's a strong sort of fellow y know-

Isabella: *sniffling* Oh, how can you say that! You're too prideful, you know? You should've told us about this long ago and perhaps we would've had more t-

Frederick: *wheezing* And worry both of you and become the object of your pity? No thank you, I like being independent.

Isabella: *softly* You'd never worry us. We love you very much, and we wouldn't have minded you coming sooner if that meant-

Frederick: Yes. Yes, I know. I'm sorry for not telling you the whole truth, truly at first it was an infection of the pulmon-

Isabella: No need to explain yourself. I understand, you've always liked your freedom.

Frederick: A shame Max cannot see that. I do not wish to be infantilized as l grow weaker. Truly, you must try and not feel so sorry for me. Instead, feel sorry for Aurelia, for she-

Isabella: I do feel sorry for her. You've given her false hope with all of this, I mean you even kissed her Frederick! Then you referred to her as 'Aunt Aurelia' in front of your little niece, and now you wish for Max to break the news to her when time comes..?

Frederick: Please understand that my intentions were not to discompose her. They were to make her feel happiness, and happiness only. I will say, I got too carried away with kissing her, but Bell, you know my heart has yearned for her since leaving. How could I resist?

Isabella: I understand you meant well, but did you think of how she would perceive this? She probably thinks you've come back to marry her with all you've done and said! The poor girl will be more heartbroken than she already is, Frederick. What you did was selfish!

Frederick: *coughing* You’re right, perhaps it was selfish. But I cannot change the past, I'm sure she'll understand I meant well.

Isabella: And if she doesn't? Then what shall you do.

Frederick: *wheezing* Well I've already got one foot in the grave as is, I dare say it-

Isabella: *sniffling* Why have you given up all hope?

Frederick: *sitting up frantically* What hope is there with a disease such as this?! You watched what it did to Eleanor. I've already started wasting away, you see my jaw. Soon, I shall become an emaciated cripple too. There is nothing to be done, and I know this.

Isabella: Goodness me, lie back down! How could you sit here and call her a cripple before me? If Max heard you say that about her I'm sure he'd slap you!

Frederick: Forgive me, I didn't mean that. Truthfully, I didn’t, I know what she meant to you. For me to call her that wasn't right at all. What I meant to say was that there's no hope and I shall soon be an invalid.

Isabella: And that's alright, we will take care of you just as we did her. I just wish you'd tell Aurelia yourself and not put the strain on Max. You know tomorrow is also his Mama's birth-

Frederick: SHIT. *coughing* Shit, I forgot about that. Oh, and I'm forcing him to go to this ball. How wicked I am Bell, how wicked.

Isabella: Yes. *softly chuckling* very wicked. But it's good, he needs to associate with more people. More friends would be of service to him, though I still can't convince him to take a wife.

Frederick: *wheezing* Get him to cut that *shallow breathing* God awful hair. Or has he already done it like I requested? Also, for a wife then he should have Aurelia because I can't! Who else better to marry her now than him? I'll be damned if she marries that Carew fellow. I'll haunt him.

Isabella: Yes, he's already had it cut, and Frederick you know he couldn't possibl-

North: I don't mean to interrupt you Madam, but shall I put in the order for the chair.?

Isabella: Yes, thank you.

Frederick: A chair for what?

Isabella: You, you fool. You can barely breathe and you were winded going up the stairs last night. It's for your own good.

Frederick: I am not yet an invalid!

Isabella: “Yet.”

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (1-3)

parts 1, 2, & 3 of ?? | 888 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

Wayne is sick and they don't have the money for the treatment he needs. Eddie, desperate and spread thin between school, a part time job, and dealing, spots Steve outside of a gay club and opts for blackmail. Steve, who has heard about Wayne through Dustin... just sort of lets him.

I started writing this while Ao3 is down. Haven't quite finished it yet, but I've got 6.7k written so far, so I should be able to do daily posts for at least a while!

Now also posted on Ao3.

Quick note, if it helps anyone who might be hit too close to home by Wayne's serious but relatively brief health scare. First, he's going to be fine. I love Wayne, I wouldn't do that to him. Second, Dustin's mind goes straight to cancer when he hears that it's serious serious, but Wayne's illness is never specified. The only symptoms described are basically a cough and general weakness/fatigue.

1.

Dustin is really upset one day after school, the day he tells Steve about his dad. 

Steve had never asked, alright? It was family shit, and that kind of thing was. . . . Well, not sacred, he can’t even think that and keep a straight face, but definitely private. There could’ve been any number of reasons why Mr. Henderson wasn’t around. 

Turns out it was cancer.

And . . . it’s not insensitive to wonder, right? Steve doesn't know if it’s an anniversary or if someone’s been giving him shit at school about not having a dad or something. So, after a few bumbling questions about why this is upsetting him now, an explanation comes tumbling out.

The leader or president or whatever of the nerd club Dustin joined at the start of the year had to cancel their game this week. “Eddie never cancels, Steve,” Dustin insists, eyes red from crying and voice gone all squeaky. “And we were giving him shit about it, we all were, even the upperclassmen guys, and he. . . he j-just broke, Steve. Said his uncle is r-really sick, bad sick, and I know what that means. They don’t have the money for treatment. He’s Eddie’s only family, and he’s probably going t-to. . . .”

Steve regrets dropping Robin off at her house first today. She might not know what to say either, but at least they’d be in this together. “Dust, that’s. . . . That’s awful.”

Turns out he doesn’t have to say anything else, because Dustin thumps against him and bawls his eyes out. 

2.

“It was awful, Robs,” Steve says, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he talks into the phone. “I haven’t seen him like that since after Starcourt, when we had to tell him about Hop.”

Robin’s wince is audible in her reply. “Yeah, that's. . . . That’s pretty bad.”

“Yeah.” He heaves a sigh, hoping it’ll get some of the constricted feeling out of his chest. It doesn’t.

“Steve? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” It’s just, he hates it. Hated it then and hates it now, because both times there’s no way for him to jump between Dustin and this thing. “Everything was starting to sort of feel okay again, and then suddenly there's Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson and his uncle, who I’ve never even seen in my life—”

“It’s not about the Munsons, Steve,” Robin says gently. “You and Dustin have that ‘you die I die’ thing. He’s like your kid brother who annoys the shit out of you, but you love him to death anyway. And right now he’s sad but you can’t do anything to help.”

Lifting his face from his hand, Steve looks around the room. He’s on the big comfortable couch in his big fucking house with too many rooms, all empty except for this one. His parents are never home, always away on business trips that got way more frequent after Barbara Holland disappeared from a party he’d hosted. They send money—not an allowance, not since he didn’t get into any of the colleges he’d applied to. But the utility bills are always paid up, and a gardener still comes around to do lawn maintenance every other week.

He wonders how the cost of maintaining a house they don’t live in compares to the cost of whatever kind of treatment Munson’s uncle needs.

Doesn’t let himself wonder if it would make a difference, but he knows that treatments don’t always work. It hadn’t, apparently, for Dustin’s dad.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees heavily. “I know.”

3.

The nice thing about being done with high school and working weekends at a shitty retail job is, Steve can do whatever he wants on some weekdays. As long as he doesn’t have a shift that starts before noon the next day, anyway. Which he doesn’t.

So, a few days after Dustin’s revelations, Steve drives up to the nearest outskirts of Indy. Eventually he ends up in one of those clubs that he and Robin have been researching how to find.

He tells himself that he’s scoping it out before he brings her, but he wants to get lost for a while. Empty his head out of things he can’t do a damn thing about—the Upside Down, the monsters, the Russians, the Munsons, the memories of Dustin crying and, just for funsies, of Nancy calling him bullshit. Because that’s always somewhere in the mix, these days.

Fill it back up with music and movement. Not with drinks, because he still has to get himself back to Hawkins in one piece.

He goes and he dances and he sweats. Sometimes guys dance with him, and Steve goes with it. Who cares? No one knows him here, it doesn’t mean anything.

Turns out, it does mean something after all. 

When Steve finally stumbles his way out of the club, he finds none other than Eddie Munson sitting on the hood of the Beemer he’s been buying off of his parents in installments. (Their idea. It’s a ‘pay for it or lose it’ kind of deal.) 

The buzzing under his sweat-tacky skin—satisfaction at successfully getting out of his head—fizzles out. He keeps walking and stops when he draws even with the car. 

Eddie Munson, looking tired and prickling with restless energy, and exhales a cloud of smoke and vapor into the chilly air. “Hey, man. What’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?”

[dipplinduo]

How would you rank the gens?

Ope I feel like I'm gonna upset some people LOL so disclaimer remember these are just my takes.

But this is how I personally see them (counting remakes as being part of the gen they remaking):

Gen 9 - Paldea Region

I've been thinking about this since the games came out, so I'd like to say recency bias isn't as much of a factor here. Bugs aside, I genuinely, genuinely love the storytelling, characterizations, and open world approach. FRIENDS THAT FEEL LIKE ACTUAL FRIENDS?? HAVING THE LEGENDARY WITH YOU THE WHOLE TIME, AND IT TOO HAS A PERSONALITY & BACKSTORY??? THREE SEPERATE STORYLINES THAT CONNECT TO A CANONICALLY DEAD PROFESSOR AND AN "EVIL AI" FINAL BOSS??? Like omg. I was amazed. I honestly usually dislike the "gimmicks" each generation brings, but terastilization caught my interest and I have a strong feeling nothing will personally top it as a gimmick for me. The DLCs really sent it all home for me for the #1 spot, like oh my god LOL. Past DLCs always just felt like something extra, but I literally cannot see this game as being complete without Kieran, Carmine & the rest of Kitakami/Blueberry peeps & their storylines. My interest in the games only grew because of all of it - and that's a massive compliment given the fact of how hard it is to accomplish such a level of monumental significance with only a few hours of gameplay. I've yet to replay the game with earlier access to The Teal Mask, but I feel like this would make it even more immersive. Just pure chef kisses here.

Gen 2 - Johto Region

A very close second. Heartgold/Soulsilver is the most elite remake in existence and idc if it's old school, I'll die on this hill. Johto is just so full of life - the continuation story is amazing, the immersion into culture and legendary stuff??? Mwah. Silver is an excellent rival, RED being a thing (the ultimate level of iconicism), and the double region will always hit. The soundtracks HIT and my god hearing them remastered iS INCREDIBLE. I even get obsessed with the pokeathlon dome and I'm usually not someone who gets into that kind of stuff. But THEY MADE IT FUN. And I love all the cute activities you can do with your team that can follow you around. So glad they brought this feature back. :')

Gen 5 - Unova Region

Oooooh I loved the reset of Gen 5. It's based on where I'm from and there were so many refreshing aspects of Black & White. From the new pokemon, to the NYC culture, to N & the whole beautiful storytelling there, and a sequel that somehow made everything even MORE polished. I literally remember referring to this region as the "Isshu Region" before the English names dropped becuase of the hype LOL. 10/10, cannot wait for these remakes. Gamefreak don't mess this up.

Gen 4 - Sinnoh Region

Oh, Gen 4. You hit good. The lowkey dreary vibes of Sinnoh is very nostalgic to me, and Piplup is one of my best buddies. Cynthia being the very first female Champion, and being as fearsome as she is, was such a big deal to me. Definetely Barbie'd her a bit in my mind because I look a like her and loved how much of an academic she was (but I def do not have her length in hair, lmao). Soundtracks are fire, of course. The way legendaries were integrated in the story without going too Dragonball Z was IMMACULATE, and the lake trio will always be my fave lil buddies. The only con I'd give this gen is that I disliked the HM reliance & D/P are practically unplayable to me since Platinum exists. I had low bars for the remake once I heard it wasn't Platinum, and ugh, they really dropped the ball. HOWEVER: while it isn't main line, I fucking love Legends: Arceus and would rather have that over an excellent remake, tbh.

Gen 1 - Kanto Region

This is another nostalgia one for me because of the fact that I quite literally was introduced to pokemon since before I can recall most memories (this is what happens when you have an older sibling with a gameboy, lol). It's probably tied with Gen 4, tbh. Firered wasn't my first game, but it hit really good because I "played" so much of R/B/Y. I know Gen 1 has its faults, and it's often seen as being pretty bare bones in comparison to other generations. And while I completely agree, god damn, what a good foundation for a franchise. Every town had a personality to it and is very memorable to me. The soundtracks are FIRE. Smaller pokedex, but damn does team building hit (and the starters are elite). Blue was also consistently my favorite rival until Kieran, lol. #oldrivalshipping/conflictingshipping was the original OTP xD

Gen 7 - Alola Region

So there's a lot of things I liked about Gen 7. It took a really big risk by breaking the formula, and it really immersed me into the Hawaiian culture & seeing your pokemon more as friends. I loved looking at pokemon in a different way and some of the pokemon introduced in this region are among my favorites (e.g. Ribombee, Bewear, Shiinotic, Mimikyu, Rockaruff, to name a few; starters also HIT). NEBBY AND LILLIE ARE ELITE. The professor is so lit, and Team Skull is the funniest team organization alive. AND YES, GET RID OF THE HMS. I honestly think a remake would make this gen jump up a bit more for me - the 3DS could barely handle this game, and it was showing. The facial expressions also need some work LOL, and I honestly dread the tutorial of the game. I like the ultrabeasts conceptually, but the execution of their involvement in the game is very DragonBall Z-ified. Ultra Necrozma lowkey would've been an amazing time for a "light" type even if it didn't make much sense, but hey, it was an awesome nuzlocke-killing moment anyway. xD

Gen 8 - Galar Region

I actually have a lot of play time for this gen. I was very obsessed with it when it came out, and could probably get glued to it all the same nowadays. But in hindsight, I realize a lot of my attachment to it was because of the semi-open worldness & ability to create a lot of different kinds of teams with a lot of new and old pokemon I like (I also liked having access to things earlier, like Ice Types before the end of the game lmfao). I still have a few things I really enjoy outside of it, though, like Hop's storyline & the setup of the gyms being in this stadium, sports-esque setting. But the plot? Eh. I have a lot of constructive criticism on how some shortcuts were made, and especially with the whole darkest day stuff lol. The only thing I liked about that fight was the dogs coming in and being cool; I wasn't impressed by or interest in Eternatus at all. The Leon fight afterward was fun, though! But oof, those weird men with the sword and shield hair afterwards were also just...no. :D DLCs also didn't quite hit that hard - it was more about having more pokemon than anything for me. So overall, it's fun to play, but I'd definitely change up the plot to make it better.

Gen 3 - Hoenn Region

This is where I think some people might wanna fight me, and to that I say you're probably valid. I don't know what it is with the Hoenn region because I actually don't have too many critiques about it (e.g., let's have less water routes); I just have never been able to get into it quite the same as I can others. I should honestly give it another shot, but I think I'd wanna do Emerald over Omega Ruby/Sapphire given the route they took everything with the remake lol. That's about all I have to say on this one since I never really connected with it as much!

Gen 6 - Kalos Region

This one feels like an especially hot take to have atm given where the pokemon community is in general LOL. Critical opinions ahead......Listen...no offense, but Gen 6 just ain't it for me at all. xD It's probably the one gen I actively dislike. The games felt way too easy with too much hand-holding/handouts, Team Flare & Diantha were a joke (and I'm not even a competitive player), and the whole group of friends felt more like an annoyance to me more than anything. They just weren't flushed out right. Neither was the plot. Like what was that plot. Outside of that, a lot of things just felt like "Look! Pokemon is in 3D now!!" over and over again because of how rushed the game was. So other than introducing fairy types & having pretty protagonists with some new clothing options, this gen is pretty forgettable to me. And that's a shame, because I like pokemon! I was one of those people who were curious on if we were gonna connect to Kalos for Gen 9, but I'd geniunely pick the DLCs we got any day of the week. I don't think Legends ZA will change much of my opinion on the mainline game, but given how much I loved Legends Arceus, I'm hoping it can be used to retcon & generate more interest/connection to the Kalos region in general.

Again, these are all just my personal opinions. I hope you all can enjoy pokemon in any way that feels good for you :) <3

[consolecadet]

big complaining. please do not give me advice on any of this unless 1) we already talk AND 2) you get my consent first

Virtually everything for me right now is in some state of "it is terrible rn but I just need to hold on for a few more weeks/months" and it just. I don't have a lot of grip strength with which to hold on rn.

My tennis elbow hurts more since I started OT, or perhaps I am just more aware of it. Either way it's really bothering me and making me sad

I recently developed eczema or something like that, because of course I did, and the second I stopped steroid cream it came back just as itchy and weepy, despite aggressive moisturizing. I cannot see a dermatologist until November but I have vague hope in the form of a different steroid cream I may try in one week

The three-day low-residue diet my dietician had me try backfired horribly after I stopped it and now I'm even more scared to eat, like, beans and/or onions

I have been having trouble accessing medical supplies that I can technically get by without but really shouldn't. Dealing with it requires making tons of phone calls and/or driving to a bunch of different pharmacies, something I have no time or energy to do rn

I'm in a BMW situation and cannot resume trying to sell it until it is resolved, though it's not a big deal because I am borrowing my sister's car and will buy it from her once I have sold the BMW

Reviewing KC's edits to Latent Defects is tiring and emotionally challenging (though I'm way less upset and dramatic about it than I thought it would be)

I keep spiraling about things like the election, genocide, and the climate

Covid cases have once again risen in my area and I am nervous about that because I've socialized a lot IRL recently and don't know if I was careful enough

I agreed to do an art project with a friend that I think will be really cool, but am worried will hurt my forearm too much and/or cause extra stress which I have little capacity for rn

I am having trouble keeping in touch with friends bc the first thing to go when I get stressed is The Ability to Message People. I also have a newish local friend who messages me a lot more than I am used to and I'm worried I'm making him feel sad and uncared for bc I am so slow to respond and don't message him first very often

KC's summer break is about to end, which means I am about to start having to get up earlier, which realistically means I am going to lose a lot of sleep while I once again struggle to adjust. Also means I'm gonna spend a lot more time driving again

The project I am managing is a MESS, we pushed the launch back, and I feel like it's my fault for 1) not knowing how to manage a project, 2) not asking for nearly enough help, and 3) being kind of mentally absent due to being itchy, in pain, and very cranky for basically the whole project. Though tbf multiple of my coworkers have been sick for chunks of it and also not able to pitch in as much as we expected. Also once we launch, then I have to help manage an online community, which, yikes

I would like a raise to offset the gigantic medical bills I seem to get stuck with every year, but I also fucked up something else at work recently, the one account I managed fired us, and worse yet I absolutely know that the company I work for is barely scraping by and cannot afford to give me a raise regardless of whether my boss wants to. I should probably look for another job but 1) I like these people 2) I have no energy or time rn and 3) much fewer companies are fully remote these days and I cannot physically handle commuting and working in an office

yeah

[feral-lore-creature]

Jade Shadows review spoilers!

I'm going to do a review on the quest, and it's going to be long. While I, personally, don't believe it's an epic quest you just NEED to experience for yourself, I want others to create their own opinions first.

Okay, bluntly, Jade Shadows struck a bad cord with me. I don't take direct/personal offense to it, as I've never had a loved one die from complications with pregnancy, nor have I had any issues like those myself, but I can at least say it wasn't good.

For my sanity's sake, I'll be putting my thoughts into categories.

Gameplay: It's as generic and predictable as any other set of missions, only with new/uncommon characters talking via transmission. Very average. If you've played Warframe long enough, you know what you're in for.

Music: As per usual, the music itself is fucking stunning. Once again, no surprise there. It's very fitting for the energy of the story as a whole, and is very beautiful. That's the best part. (Aside from little owl Ordis, obviously. 💜)

Story: Okay, this is where my problem REALLY lies. I wasn't expecting much from a filler quest, but look, if I wanted to watch a (fictional) pregnant woman die for the sake of a man's development, I'd watch any subpar action/thriller film streaming right now. It's clear that the writers didn't want to make light of pregnancy, but while sticking to the message of how hard pregnancy is on the body, but still insisting the focus be on Stalker/his missions, they devalue Jade. We never get to know WHO Jade really is, and we probably never will. She has no actual personality presented throughout the quest, has even fewer voice lines, and therefor functions as an incubator/love interest to some guy. (A guy we barely know, in fact.)

It's like she's sidelined, which is ridiculous to me, since SHE'S the NEW Warframe we're getting for gameplay, and SHE'S the focal point/message of the story in the first place. (Or at least she SHOULD be-) Her active suffering has heavier weight than whatever else is happening.

Concluding Thoughts: It was overall very emotional -and it might just be my period hormones talking- so I'd say this quest didn't exactly feel like a slap to the face, even if my wording seems harsh, but the lack of detail/character given to Jade is still upsetting. Again, less insulting, more disheartening and disappointing.

I don't want to think this problem was intentional, as it was likely the lack of dedicated time/resources as a whole that caused this. (DE is dealing with Tennocon, and also working on a big main quest, etc.) I don't believe it was from carelessness, It's just too damn short. It's a reason, but not an excuse.

All in all, this a story that should have stayed on the shelf until DE had the proper time for it.

[mansionofhaunts]

I think the timing on this would have been more well-received had FCG not done his big move last episode, but also...I think they'd locked this in a while ago, and they couldn't really back away from it? Like, this is meant to get Dorian back in with the group for a bit, and probably explain what he was up to, since we haven't seen him for like...two years, at this point.

I do feel like they should have...probably just done another EXU miniseries sometime after the solstice, but...I dunno. I guess they probably prioritized getting Candela off of the ground, and Kymal was...underwatched, I'll say. I dunno! Feels like they're experimenting with how to expand their offerings, but, like a lot of brands built around personalities...it's hard to really expand that core group without alienating some fans. I think that's most clear with Kymal, but it looks like Midst isn't really breaking out, and interest in Candela seems to be dropping pretty steadily as well.

I do think about...a lot of the conversations around diversity and the Critical Role table, and I think they're all very much aware of that criticism and it seems like they want to address it. Their biggest hurdle to clear there is getting people to care when the main eight core cast members aren't there, and having a cast that large means adding anyone becomes a logistical nightmare.

I dunno! They're in a weird place, because they're pretty clearly still the big dogs in the space (nobody else has Amazon deals, for one, and nobody is currently doing livestreams to movie theaters (Acq Inc did that like...ten years ago, I think?)), but I think you can also see...I won't say the downfall of Critical Role, but you can see possibly a big slide in popularity coming, as the industry changes a bit. I think they're addressing what they can, but some of the things that are now limiting their growth are things that made them as big as they are in the first place. They can't really change the cast; people will be upset at who isn't there. They can't really add to the cast permanently; there are already arguably too many people there. They can't make the episodes shorter; their fans love that the episodes are unedited. They might be able to get away with shorter campaigns, given the drop in viewers over time (I know people like to do thinkpieces about why this is that coincidentally confirm their own opinions about the series, but I think it's mostly because it's very easy to fall behind after you miss one four hour episode)

Anyways: that was longer than I'd planned, but I've been thinking about the...larger bts stuff for Critical Role for a while, and tonight's episode was the first live one I've watched in months.

[tubbytarchia]

Some Tango, rancher and Etho (!?) thoughts as I finished up Tango's POVs for 3rd, Limited and Secret Life

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it is near empty in this skull of mine so bear with my poor analysis skills if you can call it that. This is walls of text that I'm not expecting anyone to fully read but it's nice to get my own thoughts in order for the future, somewhat!

ahem Tango thoughts

Tango's loyalty KILLS ME. Similarly to Impulse in 3rd Life he recognizes the value in allyship but struggles to maintain any concrete ones, and then goes from a double agent to someone playing all sides, but even so, whoever his allies are at a given moment, unless he's been severely wronged by them, he's straight devoted to them. He seems to switch on a dime in 3rd life going from team to team, but that's not because of lack of care and he puts his best foot forward for them anyway. He wants to be trusting of and trusted by Etho even after their alliance strains, he was quick to defend the Crastle and offer reassurance to Cleo even after declaring the Crastle to be his enemies, he fought against Dogwarts alongside Impulse, refusing to back off even when it became certain death after Impulse died, etc

He might have a tendency to die stupid deaths but he did seem to have his value recognized unlike Last Life, where he was allied with the same people for almost all of it. He sacrificed a lot for team BEST to ultimately get no more than a pat on the back. I already made a post about this but I'm not gonna shut up about it!! The way he kind of gets tossed around begrudgingly when he's very rightfully upset about Dbubs killing him, and others just keep joking about his anger and treating him as dispensable, ahh it saddens me. Skizz WAS nice to him but even he, in the end, came over to try and threaten and intimidate Tango once he was red. Reds in Last Life took the breaking of any previous alliances seriously, as did Tango once he was also red, but even so

Then ofc Double Life <3

And in Limited and Secret Life he seems to have his value largely recognized again and is able to secure good teams, to whom, again, he's SO loyal to. He always has been, ever since 3rd Life and even in Last Life after the boogie incident. I don't think he ever wronged his teammates in ANY substantial way. He very openly made a deal for Scar to kill BDubs and that's probably the worst he's done, and even then, not like Scar did a very good job... But Tango is also someone who often talks big game (eg "oh just wait until I'm red" etc) only to not be very fatal to anyone. He threatened BDubs a lot but ultimately, hardly harmed him

Tango's devotion is undying and he really wants to trust people. He'd rather put up with team BEST making fun of his rightful anger than leave or harm them, and he's quick to join back up with the Crastle because he wants people by his side. He makes himself a good asset to prove his trustworthiness, if even subconsciously, because he certainly trusts whoever he manages to settle with first. I was kind of surprised at how much faith he had in team TIES as he was being hunted down by the entire server for being the last green name. He hardly ever doubted them and wasn't afraid to immediately come out of hiding upon finding them (and ofc then sacrificing himself for Skizz)

Tango's response to combat is VERY often to cower away somewhere. Maybe he's just being cautious but nevertheless his immediate reaction tends to be to back away, and he's admitted many times himself that he just hesitates. I think this has happened a few times but in LimL in particular he called Etho out for fleeing combat when the Bad Boys attacked them and the Clockers, even though Tango did basically the exact same thing. As if he doesn't even always realize when he's cowering off to the side? But seeing the ways that he usually gets himself killed, yeah! Understandable! Lol. And yet when things get dicey, he more often than not goes against this nature to abstain. Third Life, instead of fleeing from a battle against 3(4?) people once Impulse dies, he goes back in and dies. Last Life, he takes one for the team by charging at a minecart (though granted, in the moment he didn't seem to think it'd kill him, he did charge in without much thought). Limited Life, he refuses to disengage and gets himself killed in his pursuit of Scar instead of eating to heal from his half a heart of health and Secret Life.... oh ho ho

Tango's not as literally sacrificial as Skizz or Scott, and he might not be very good at protecting his friends due to his tendency to abstain from combat (because he's not much good at it so again, understandable) but he's very firm about who his friends are and man, does he do his best. 9/10 times he makes a good effort at best (lest we forget, the man has gotten very few legit kills across all five seasons) but then there are times like when he physically put himself between Etho and Martyn in LimL when Etho called for his help, even when it looked like Tango was trying to maintain distance from the confrontation. And Secret Life...!!!

First of all, got half the server to support him in the last session by giving him hearts ofc, very nice, very cute, very deserved. But secondly, I will not stop thinking about him going against Scar's deal. He was so very adamant about not hurting, let alone killing Skizz and very begrudgingly accepted Scar's offer for a heart in exchange for him swiping Skizz once. Only for Tango to start attacking Scar later, proclaiming that he could never betray Skizz. My condolences to Scar but fuck yeah, king shit!! He showcases his loyalty again but also just straight up initiates combat and goes at it for a bit. Like many times before he just gets kinda feisty as things get closer to the end, I suppose! Even when he doesn't really have many hearts to spare. I'm here for this

I have thoughts about Etho and him specifically too but thats below

Rancher thoughts

Firstly just some rancher moments that I'm sure all the rancherers already have seared into their brains but I'm noting them for me because I've seen them for the first time now:

Jimmy in LimLife, all bad boy, hits Tango and then immediately turns around to apologize to his rancher

When Tango gets blown up by Joel, upon returning, Jimmy bombards Tango with questions about how it went down

And it stuck out to me because it reminded me so much of the way Jimmy tries to inquire Tango about the amount of hearts he dealt to him in Secret Life (and ofc Tango being all indirect with his replies which ends up sounding like some strange off-brand flirting). Also Tango intentionally running into Jimmy's TNT and then sticking around him instead of fleeing. Also also "I like seeing Tango's reaction when he sees me, it's nice, he makes these weird sounds". That entire ordeal in session 5 is such gold

When Skizz is doing his affirmation thing with Jimmy in LimL, Tango and Impulse eavesdrop and Tango jokes about how embarrassing that was and that he needs to throw up right to their faces. And the way Jimmy had absolutely zero hostile reaction whatsoever. Even when it quieted down and he thanked Skizz, Skizz referred to "those idiots" and Jimmy's all "what idiots?" lmao. But then maybe he was just too taken aback by Skizz's kindness (of course he's also in on the jokes and doesn't always play up the upset factor, but I mean, it WAS his rancher very loudly voicing his disgust), which breaks my heart just a wee bit after all the kindness he got from Tango just one series prior, the same Tango who barely partakes in all the jokes going around at Jimmy's expense. But then, it's not like he made any direct jabs at Jimmy, I don't think he ever has but I might be wrong? And was playfully disgusted by the corny interaction in general, including Skizz

Ok I knew of this one but Jimmy interrogating Tango when his task was to talk to Torchy, but also I just love it so much that Flower Husbands is kind of in the mix too with Scott telling Jimmy to do the thing, for Jimmy to then attempt to do the thing, then defend Tango to Scott's face, to then attempt to do the thing again and get it completely wrong even though Scott knew exactly what Tango's task was and gave Jimmy all the pieces

Pearl giving Tango a pity flower only for Jimmy to immediately walk over and accidentally pick it up. Reminds me of when the same happened with baked potatoes in DL

I don't actually have a lot to add here for the rancher stuff, except that I think it's neat how the nature of Tango's alliances aligned? Which I just went into detail about but I think it's poetic that it went from Tango struggling to find one sure alliance, to Tango being in a mostly stable alliance but his worth largely unrecognized, to assigned soulmate ranchers, where Jimmy gave him all the affirmation in the World, even as the others made fun of them, and then Tango having very dependable alliances since then. Something something the way Jimmy rightfully supported Tango, seeing him for all his worth, and then Tango not having to settle for (much) less since then. That's just the way things happened to go but hey, I don't know about you but I see fanfic material and stuff about Jimmy leaving a mark on the course of Tango's Life series, or something

Going back to the Skizz affirmation thing for a moment too, I think it's also neat to compare how good he is at voicing intricate affirmation vs, well, Tango. Jimmy seemed so very genuinely touched by Skizz's kindness, something he obviously isn't subjected to a lot, except for Tango in Double Life with all his ornately worded "Great job!"s and "You're awesome!"s. That's just the thing that I love about ranchers sooo much that they're hardly ever graceful in what they do or say, more just bundles of strong emotions than anything, but they mesh oh so perfectly

suddenly Etho thoughts

Unrelated to ANYTHING but Etho's so cute!! Like ok, what else is new but ahh, just stuck out to me, probably because Tango keeps getting allied with him one or another way for half the seasons. I grinned so widely each time he went around "team meeting, team meeting!" or "banana!" in his small voice, and for me, nothing so far has topped the moment of him running into the TIES group, yelling for someone to help him craft some powered rails

Ok anyway it was SO nice to see his undying loyalty towards Tango in LimLife after what happened in 3rd and Last Life. It reminds me so much of his heartwrenching loyalty in Secret Life where he absolutely refused to give away his teammates' locations even as the success of his task depended on it. In the manhunt in session 4, the one person who saw Tango, completely vulnerable before he could continue his escape attempt was Etho, and the WAY Etho doesn't have immediate vocal reactions like so many of the other lifers do and can just stay silent is soo. I don't know man. It works wonders to make him intimidating but then there's also moments like this, the way he stays totally silent on more than one occasion so as not to risk betraying his teammates, and when he does speak, it's to give false information or whatever it takes to protect them. And just as with Cleo and Grian, in LimL with Tango, he was defending the last remaining green/s! That adds absolutely nothing lmao just an observation that I felt the need to point out

In Secret Life Tango and Etho also team up somewhat at the very end, at which Tango says "I'll carry you, as usual" which is a line that tickles me. Like, true, Tango has done a lot for Etho in their previous alliances but in LimL, it felt a lot more balanced, if not the other way around altogether. Again, the manhunt!! Not that Etho's attempt to misguide the others helped at all, but it's the sentiment that matters... Etho had Tango's back all throughout LimL and that makes me so happy. deserved

[beanghostprincess]

I was wondering what your thoughts, headcanons, or possible aftermath fic scenarios for this "what if?": What if Usopp had been there with Chopper and the other doctors when they witnessed Sanji get his exoskeleton against Queen? What would Usopp have felt? What would he done? Once Kaido was beat, would Usopp have gone and brought it up with Sanji? Sanji sure the fuck didn't bring it up with anyone and probably swore Chopper to secrecy...

I've been saving this post to write a proper answer to these questions because I think it's such a good and interesting topic that it deserves my attention 100%. Or at least that's what I've been saying, but if I'm being honest it's just that the whole topic of Sanji in Wano affects me personally and it's not exactly my favorite subject (It really is, though. I love it. I just have to be in the right mindset). And since I am drunk and sad I am going to try and tell you what I think. I sincerely apologize if there are any typos here, btw.

Your question kind of reminds me of what I always say about Usopp being in WCI. I personally think he should've been at least either in WCI or here with Sanji when his body got altered. I don't think it's fair we got to see Sanji with Usopp back in Water 7 when he was the most vulnerable but we didn't see Usopp with him when all of this happened. I don't know. Perhaps I'm a bit biased because I'm a Sanuso shipper and Usopp fan, but I really would've liked it.

I think Usopp would've been confused, just like all the other characters witnessing this, but he would've known instantly that something more was going on. Like. It's not only that Sanji's body is getting altered, but that it's affecting him emotionally. Usopp would've known it was upsetting him. And tbh since he saw Sanji wearing the raid suit for the first time, it isn't hard to like, draw your own conclusions. He probably would've known it had something to do with it. Perhaps he would've tried to help with the fight but Sanji would've told him to stop (because he's stubborn and a fucking self-sacrificing idiot and also he was in the middle of a breakdown) and Usopp would've started panicking, basically. Reading Sanji's movements to see what's wrong and panics even more when he sees him not getting hurt the way he should. And when he sees his whole body being, uh, out of place, and Sanji not getting hurt by it, he just starts panicking even more. Like, here we have to keep in mind he doesn't know anything about what happened back at WCI. He knows. But he doesn't know. You know? Anyway- The thing is that I don't think Sanji would've given him the chance to express his feelings because he's in the middle of the fight and because he definitely does not want to talk about it.

Personally, I think Usopp would have brought it up and that's sort of why Oda didn't put him there (and because Usopp was doing his Usonami shenanigans with Ulti and Paypay) (I never talk about Ulti and Paypay I fucking love them wtf). It's a journey Sanji has to go on his own. It's his "nothing happened" moment. The only ones who know something's wrong are Chopper and Zoro, and they for sure won't talk about it because Sanji definitely told Chopper to not say anything and Zoro is... Zoro. Anyway. I think Usopp would've tried to talk about it with Sanji and Sanji would've told him that it's not that big of a deal. That it's nothing. He'll get over it on his own. And tbh I am making it Sanuso because I am the Sanuso princess and I can do it:

Usopp asks Sanji what happened back there, and Sanji refuses to answer and tries to ignore the question. Tries to laugh it away or whatever. Usopp knows something is wrong, of course. Of course he knows, because Sanji has been like an open book ever since WCI happened. Long story short, they have some back and forth with Usopp demanding to know more because he cares about him and Sanji trying to ignore his questions. But, yeah, Sanji ends up yelling and telling him the truth and he instantly feels like shit for yelling at Usopp and scaring him and that only makes him hate himself more. And if that ends up with Sanji crying and having a whole breakdown and Usopp hugging him it's up to you, but to me I 100% confirm that this would happen and Usopp would give him a whole speech about him still being himself despite his body because otherwise he wouldn't be crying.