#i think this is probably a more *aaaaaaAAAA* kinda thing for me bc im like. way more used to this happening with christianity

[chai-en-kaadhale]

do you ever make a connection to a book with your religion do you ever make a connection to a book with your religion again but its the same author i need to be put down

[rel124c41]

I suck horribly at actually talking to people but I NEED to make it known how much I've loved and enjoyed your jade fics!!! Every single one has been a total banger., i've been fed so well.

I absolutely loved the readers lack of autonomy in your japanese folklore fic (im typing off memory so my spelling of everything will be off) they didn't have a choice in anything. fish wife <3 I'll admit I was a little confused with the Garappo, i truly thought it was some weird suicide until Jade later mentioned it. And why Floyd mentioned his brother dying to one, (I honestly thought it was supposed to be jade creature)

AGHHHH fish wife??? really?? fish wife??? the ending was so delicious, i could almost visualize it. so lovely. the fear, lack of autonomy, the loss of all they've known, never knowing what's real and what's a fantasy. I'm not sure what you envisioned for their future, but I can imagine that lack of autonomy will be more of a pressing issue than it was. God, the view of that though!!! Someone you only remember when you're too hazy to be in the real world, someone that's been with you throughout your life, someone that's wanted you since you could remember. isn't that so romantic? Finally together where the sun can't part you, under the water.

i dont know how to really explain what im feeling, or what i think, but i feel like it's such a poignant visual to be killed by this Jade in that way. It feels like watching a puzzle you've been working on be completed, or reaching a new plot point in a game you like, it's this feeling of intrigue, anticipation, idk. I always get that feeling reading your fics and also HOLY FUCK THEYRE SO LONG!!!!!!

and dont think i've forgotten your other fics LOL im ready to talk about those too holy fuck. I don't have that much to say unfortunately, I really enjoyed them just as much but I'm far more speechless. The Jade fic based off of Mera's god! Floyd was... really nice. The altar scene felt like Jade was punishing them for something. That's just how the bee crumbles, though. "sadist" might not rhyme with "jade" but it's basically the same word anyway... I loved watching Jade's opinion of Reader change over the time skips, he goes from mild annoyance/hate or, idk, repulsion (?) to interest, to love (menace style).

The reader fulfilling nothing in the end was certainly something. I loved it.

I've never really had a family, so I can't understand reader's motivations in your "crowley finds a way to send Yuu home" fic, but it made me wish I had one. I enjoyed the ending, the usage of the ghost camera. Poor Jade, really. I don't have much to say, because I'm not personally a fan of angst.

I feel like I can safely say you're my favorite writer, even above Mera. (who i now know you're also a fan of!!! which is neat!!!!!)

i know i probably could've DMed you but I feel like an ask is more appropriate >:) i hope you enjoy the long ask, as an artist myself this is kinda like tags on my art, and i really feel like you deserve that happiness. not good at talking, my bad!!!!

oh the way this made my day, i’m on break for my 6-2 shift and just AAAAAAAAAA thank you thank you thank you for this ask (*≧∀≦*) i’m geeking over here man,, i’m so flattered

okay to answer the first thing about why Floyd mentions his brother got killed by one!! the entire point of him going there is to check if his future sibling in law opinion on yokai, his brother’s lovesick so Floyds on the case

he had to make the reader let him stay!! the idea of the garappa outside is more terrifying to the reader than letting in a stranger & he mentions his brother dying to one (falsely!!! he’s lying ofc!!!)

bc the reader’s like oh that sounds familiar for him to have a brother, that fits into place — doubled with the bath salts, it’s an ease slip inside the shrine

“the fear, lack of autonomy, the loss of all they've known, never knowing what's real and what's a fantasy.” dude why did you write Sundo better than me??? why did you write the whole thesis of Sundo in a more poetic and all around better way that i ever could holy shit

also if i was the reader i’d give into to be an umi bozu so easily,, like the eldritch beauty of becoming something truly incomprehensible, some Berserk-esque creature

like look at this!!!!! it would be so cool to be this!!!!! GIANT FISH WIFE!!!!

AAAAA to be a huge monster loved and adored by your husband who stole/shares your immortal soul and infects your memory like a leech 💕💕

“It feels like watching a puzzle you've been working on be completed, or reaching a new plot point in a game you like,” AAAAA THANK YOU!!! (￣个￣) this particular part has me geeking,, i’m a big video game fan so to mimic that feeling of completeness, integrality!!!

and yeah i’m always worried about length bc i’m too fluent in yappanese when it comes to writing

the altar scene in Psilocybin was definitely a mixture of punishment and accepting them into his world — he’s always going to be salty that he does not know what fear tastes, smells, looks like upon the reader! (〃´∀｀)

i’m a HUGE momma’s girl so that’s where the theme of Schism came from haha and i love Tool’s music — thank you for saying u like the ghost camera usage, i was worried the audience might not get this BUT reader does not end up leaving; that end scene is specifically with the fragment of her soul from the photograph on Jade’s desk

ALSO MORE THAN MERA???? AAAAA THATS CRAZY PRAISE 💕💕💕 (O∆O)

UM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK <<<3 im tattooing it in my head forever!!!! also ure my first mutual and it’s such an honor bc you’re so incredibly talented and AAAA i’m still geeking 💕

[imagines-mha]

1-A as promposals

its 3:53am someone tell me to fix my sleep schedule PLEASE

└─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───┘

Deku: Depending on who you are the promposal will change. Like if u know him well he’s definitely the type to hold up a simple cardboard sign with “prom?” on it cus hes so simple and sweet like that... but if he DOESNT know you,,, oh my god dude im so sorry you’re gonna die cus hes so cute. He’ll probably do it on instinct- like approaching you in the halls of school and just stammer for a lifetime before being all “you wanna go to p-prom?? With me? Please?? 🥺” Dork energy

Todoroki: you think this mf isnt up all night watching “cute promposals” on youtube?? Hes gonna go ALL OUT cus my mans is so confused lmao. He’s so embarrassing im so sorry like he’ll take over Nezu’s intercoms and be like “y/n l/n… i think you’re beau- principal nezu sir please give me this moment… youre beautiful and i wanted to as- *wrestling for the intercom noises* give me back the damn intercom i wasn’t do-WILLYOUGOTOPROMWITHME?” He gets detention. It’s worth it, he thinks.

Iida: this mffff so traditional but so so awkward. Does he show up to your door with a bouquet of your favourite flowers and chocolate? No- that would entail asking you where you lived and that would be extremely uncomfortable for both parties. Does he write you a poem? No- what if you don’t like poetry? In the end he just surprises you when you’re alone with a red rose and a “would you like to be my date to the prom, y/n?”

Bakugo: yeah nope dont expect anything cute. He sees you, he likes you, he wants you, he gets you. Thats it. He’s so confident like where df does he GET IT FROM. He’ll straight up just go “you’re coming with me. Be ready at 8.” Like won’t even say the word PROM he just leaves u to figure it out yourself smh really bakugo

Kirishima: cute, sweet, and kinda cringy but it WORKS BC ITS HIM. He’ll go to the extremes like todoroki only it’ll actually work. Like he’ll spell out “prom?” with flower petals, stand outside your house with a radio and a sign, literally arrange an entire skit with the bakusquad just to ask you out and you’ll die. Literally imagine. And he’s the BEST DATE EVER i just know.

Kaminari- crying he’s a dork like such a dork. He thinks he’s gonna be that type of guy to swoop in and win you over easy as pie, but mans has a REPUTATION of being rejected so his confidence ain’t as sharp as everyone thinks. He tries 100 times and backs out nervously EVERY TIME. Mina eventually just throws him toward you and he spits it out in the heat of the moment but its really fucking cute

Sero- another nervous backer out-er, only he keeps it to himself. “hey sero who are you going to prom with?” “oh i haven’t decided yet” *goes home that night and googles promposal ideas instead of doing homework for 5 hours straight*. He’s so the type to do it through a pun- like getting a pizza and being all “i know this is cheesy but will you go to prom with me?” Dmcnsjdnwjndjdjs he’s such a nerd

Ojiro: he’s probably the most calm about it tbh. Like he won’t freak out or anything (in public, he can’t sleep the entire night before). He’ll stop you in the hallway and talk to you about it for a bit, making sure you aren’t going with anyone else before smirking and saying “i was just wondering if you wanted to be my date?” . Simple, but super effective. Makes you feel like the only person in the entire world

Shouji: literally he doesn’t even need to ask you just say yes lmaojk. He’s another sweetiepie- not too over the top but then again its definitely not simple. He’ll get you a bouquet of roses and use one of his arms to place one of thm into your hair while goving you the most gentle look. He’ll ask “will you go to prom with me?” super chill as shouji is but you die anyways cus hes enfnendnednwdndj ur so lucky

Tokoyami: oh my sweet god above you would swear he was trying to perform on stage. If he’s feeling a little 👉🏻👈🏻 shy, he’ll write you a love letter- describing in deep detail every little thing he feels for you (and it’ll make you cry bc he notices all the tiny things you didnt even realise you did and loves you for them all the same). But so help you lord if he’s feeling confident. He’ll walk down the UA steps like he’s about to fight God and hand you black roses, being all “y/n..my love, will you be my dark queen to the prom?” N ur like “fumikage we’ve been dating for over a year of course”

Kouda: aAAAAAAAAA shy baby please send him help. Takes like a month of the class hyping him up but eveNTUALLY. He does it. Let’s be real if koji kouda has a crush on you you have the personality of an angel and probably love animals so he isn’t afraid of humiliation at all. He’ll get you alone in the school gardens and ask if you have a date, then be like “me neither...i-if you want we uh...i was gonna ask...if uhm…” . HE FREEZES UP OH NO. just kiss him and that’ll let him kno

Aoyama: this dramatic mf i love it. If you’re being asked by aoyama- he’s gonna make it memorable. And i don’t mean glitter and diamonds and singing to you in the hallway while riding toward you on a segwey noooope. Aoyama’s a romantic at heart- he’s gonna set up a full ass treasure hunt around the school- getting the entire class to help him do it. When you reach the end he’ll be standing on top of the roof with a bouquet of your favourite flowers and he’s like “y/n...i need a prom queen…and there’s noone id want it to be more than you…”

Sato: y’all know what im gonna say right lmaoo this dork bakes you smth. It’s defnitely tailored to your favourite: like if you love cupcakes he’ll bake you cupcakes and spell out “P R O M ?” On them. If you like cake he’ll attach a cake-related pun in the box- either way he’s gonna win you over by sheer sweet tooth alone and everyones jealous

[bi-demon-ium]

my thoughts on zoo

does anyone care? no. do i care that no one cares? also no.

okay, so most importantly: i loved it. i really, really loved it. it’s up there with my favorite podcasts right now, on par with death by dying and welcome to night vale. it’s just fun. it’s engaging. it’s interesting. i stayed up for almost 24 hours straight listening to most of it at once. it’s great. 

i’m gonna put the rest under the cut because ~spoilers~ but like, here’s my opinions i guess! in no particular order.

okay so weird place to start, but. dahlia riddle isn’t valid i’m sorry

don’t get me wrong she’s a really cool well-written character played by a super talented actress but this bitch???? is not valid. to be clear, this has nothing to do with the monsterfucking (completely valid if i do say so myself) and even her urge to murder her coworkers. what is not valid is a) the actual murder like??? she had such a casual approach to this she was like ah yes and i had them all ripped to bloody shreds :) perfect

but also like b) (and it’s probably bad this bothered me more but) she just??? assumes there’s no cost??? that he’ll Protect her from any price and she’ll just get everything she once because she said a word and apparently seduced a bone rattlin demon boi. but like.... have you never read a book. do you know nothing about life and consequences and how these things ALWAYS WORK. no matter how good you are, there’s always a cost!!! being smart is balancing that cost wisely!!! you are not smart!!! 

like wanting to pursue magic and power beyond purely academic research is honorable, and i relate to the whole “none of them take it seriously, i thought we were here to take this seriously” thing, but like.... girl. clearly you’re not that genius if you just completely assume that there’s NO COST i was literally screaming the whole time i was like WHAT? NO. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU MURDERED. OR WORSE.

dont get me wrong its very sexy of her to be a whole homicidal academic and she’s a cool character but like. aaaaaaaaaa

and again to be clear this is not bad writing by any means i’m yelling at dahlia herself

also i think i saw someone be like “oh she murdered her colleagues bc they were a bunch of condescending men” and maybe im dumb (well, i am dumb, but im saying maybe i missed something) but it really didn’t read to me as they dismiss her because she’s a woman and she’s surrounded by condescending men, so much as she’s surrounded by people not taking magic seriously (and by extension her since she does) but they’re ujst like normal colleagues and they annoy her. you know how in cell block tango (in chicago) most of them you’re kinda like yeah he had it comin lol but then one of them is just like HE KEPT SMACKING HIS GUM. she kinda has that energy to me. but also i haven’t relistened to the whole show yet so maybe i genuinely missed something, i could be swayed here

ok moving on from my strong opinions about dahlia riddle 

the mothman.

the mothman.

i love them.

i do wish it was more clear what pronouns the mothman uses. i mean is it both he and them? because valid, literally same, but it came off as confusing because people used them interchangeably and i couldn’t tell if the them was like a “i can’t tell gender here” (i don’t think so because i’m pretty sure that amos refers to the mothman as them a few times) or if like, characters were misgendering the mothman, or?? what????

but like i love nonbinary mothman so i’m gonna go with them for now. iconic, tbh

anyway i LOVE THE MOTHMAN

i can’t even articulate it i just love the mothman. i just think they’re neat

titaniumviolet really really annoyed me at first, because i thought they were going for the “tin hat conspiracy theorist straight-up making things up for her blog” thing (with the whole batsquatch thing for example, like. that sounds made up.) and then when mckayla was like “i need to call someone who knows this field.......how about that one crackpot i made fun of once” like there are serious cryptozoologists!! why would you go to some random tabloid writer when you could go to someone who takes it seriously!!!

but then we met her and every opinion i had on her did a 180 immediately i was like oh my god i love her i take back everything i said she’s the best

also it seems to be heavily implied she for the most part doesn’t make shit up, she just might exaggerate a little. but the batsquatch is real, so! 

but seriously i love her and i highkey ship her and mckayla ngl 

let her! work at! the zoo! she cares so much about the cryptids, she genuinely cares!! and it could be really cool to see that conflict with her desire to get the truth out there/post things on her blog, like how we see with the ghost moose when she can’t resist taking a selfie 

god i just love her and want more of her tbh

ok mckayla. mmm mixed feelings. overall i really like her, that’s not an issue, but like

ok first of all for some reason her voice really bothered me at first (sometimes with podcasts the main voice is just like immediately heaven in ur ears--looking at you, cecil--and other times it takes a while to grow on you, like the obituary writer, and other times it’s good, but just weird, like the lost cat podcast. and then sometimes it just sucks. in this case, it was kinda weird but not to the point i couldn’t listen, and i got over it pretty fast) but i got over it! so it’s fine

also randomly i kinda picture her as like.... tish? from doctor who? martha’s sister? i don’t know why that’s what i’m picturing when i imagine her face but it is.

i do really like her actually, she amuses me a lot and she’s really endearing and relatable 

like the whole bigfoot emporium thing flgkjfhlkjgfh “oh i guess we HAVEEE to buy ALLL THIS MERCH” “we could just buy like a tshi--” “WHAT SIZE ARE YOU WE’RE GETTING EVERYTHING :D”

hm although the whole like... slight emphasis on religion they occasionally do makes me a little uncomfortable but to be absolutely clear that’s on me and my experiences with christianity and not the writing or the show lkgjhfgh but it did make me a little uncomfy when it was brought up i guess 

also like ok they try to do this thing that’s like She Cares About The Cryptids, she’s newcomer and without the biases of this world she’s more empathetic or something, you know what i mean? but a) to me it felt kinda abrupt i guess? like one second shes being like “oooo weird monsters” and then sorta midway, but then she goes full extreme cryptid rights. which isn’t invalid, but like, it feels like this whole She Knows Better even tho shes been here for like a few months lfkgjhfgh

speaking of which the episode where they all want to kill the siren and she insists on tranqing her instead, like. rubbed me wrong a little? 

to be fair i think my issue with it is something they like.... did intentionally? im just not sure how well it worked, or was explored, i guess

like why is the mothman so on the “human” side here? the whole point of the zoo is to protect and preserve cryptids. and while there are certainly arguments to be made for why it’s important that guests can visit and see them (for example, making people like. see these cryptids in a safe environment, and therefore be less scared of them, hopefully making the world a little safer for cryptids in general) but they don’t like. say that. 

so why is the safety of the guests paramount? i mean okay that came out wrong obviously they want to protect the guests. but the mothman specifically is like “and if there are deaths we might have to close the zoo and make it some sort of private preserve, and that would be Terrible because that’s SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE ZOO” and i’m like is it tho? like i can see arguments for it but they don’t argue that. so it came off really weird to me

i guess there’s also money maybe? like do the guests pay a fee to get in? but doesn’t the zoo just make anything they require? im sure that couldn’t be used for bad things

you know come to think of it why did the zoo like. do that in the first place? when the mothman arrived there was nothing, it was a blank room of requirement adapting their needs, but it like.... provided the sign. they came back and it was there. the mothman didn’t choose that specific wording. 

like zoos are definitely great (the like... valid ones. fuck sea world and old timey shitty zoos. cough cough the aquarium) and work with conservation but with the question of sapience here it feels dodgy to have these people be like. exhibits. even people like paige, like. ok, she’s treated as a person, but she had an exhibit. does amos have an exhibit? hell, does the mothman? 

did the zoo do this like. is the mothman really an exhibit. what the fuck.

(im kind of thinking of this excellent fic for the show the librarians i read once that points out that in the binary between “artifact/book stored in the library” and “librarian/guardian who works at the library” that jenkins, the unofficial caretaker, falls into the former rather than the latter. it’s not technically a strong assertion--one can easily argue that caretaker is simply a third job not accounted for in that binary--but like. the possibility is all too chilling. i mean, with his whole status as an immortal knight... yeah. they’ve got nessie in there, why not galahad? obviously he’s not entirely caged and he’s treated like a person, and even has a modicum of respect and authority, but like. so does the mothman, so. that’s kind of what i’m thinking here, i guess.)  

why did the zoo choose to be a zoo. why not just a reserve or a park or some shit. 

and apparently also an aquarium as they are cut from the same cloth. 

but like back to what i was saying lfgkhjgh you would really think the mothman would want to prioritize cryptid safety given that that’s the whole point. 

now that could be an interesting storyline on how like, they were raised by humans, and despite being a cryptid they have this weird bias. you know, like before the zoo when they were using their prophetic dreams to save humans from cryptids and always assumed that’s what it was until they came to the one where they realized they were saving the cryptid from a mob of humans? like, that could be a Thing. but it hasn’t really been addressed, i guess. but then, it’s not over yet, so

and like in episode 5 where the woman overhears the conversation about the... demwah? demwuah? demwua? dimwah? you know the "tree" in the road. anyway. I was a little confused as to who was talking but I'm 90 percent sure it was the mothman being like I'll Put It Down If I Have To 🤷‍♂️ No Big Deal while the doctor (doctor m'briety?) was like we can hurt it! its innocent! with the mothman being all sinister and almost sounding cruel or careless?

again this balance of is the zoo evil or not. it almost feels like originally the zoo was going to be evil but they scrapped the idea at the end if season one and were like the mothman is good now, the zoo is not malicious, the aquarium will be that now (ill discuss this more later with the whole intro and stuff)

but either way it just sat wrong to me that it was the mothman being like “we gotta kill it” and then mckayla, a human, being the one kinda self righteously like No We Cannot Or We Are Bad 

but it’s not a huge criticism here just something that rubbed me the wrong way

also the siren’s song is so good and i want just like a track of that like just the song. and the lyrics. aaaa it was so pretty 

and like honestly that whole thing with “what’s the line between animal and person with the cryptids?” is a really fascinating question

i mean i think she said something about it almost seeming to be a matter of who pisses them off--see spring heeled jack--but i’d disagree at least a little. i don’t think jacky boy is being treated like an Animal, so much as a very very dangerous prisoner. rightfully so.

(speaking of spring heeled jack: i loved him. he was so fun. great voice acting. gave me the shiver-me-timbers and i loved it)

but like it’s a good question

is a siren a person? not human, sure, but is she a person? i’d say probably. i mean, a lot of smart people define language as the barrier where a creature crosses from sentient to sapient. and the sirens aren’t just mimicking, they can hold a conversation. they seem pretty peopley to me. so they should be treated as such. you can argue they should be kept in the zoo for their own safety and everyone else’s (we can’t begrudge them for murder considering that’s not murder, that’s food, but like, we can contain it and attempt to feed them safely instead, right?) but even then it should be a more respectful prisoner situation maybe? or maybe they shouldn’t be kept in at all! 

and like yeah, where’s the line? are the will o wisps people? could you set up a sort of “blink once for yes, twice for no” conversation? 

it’s a complicated question! it’s cool! 

but on the other hand it’s like....... ok yeah but WHY is this question mothman is LITERALLY RUNNING THE PLACE you’d really think that they’d be less “oh they’re all dumb animals” and more “hm, i’m a cryptid and not an animal. i wonder if this extends to anyone else”

i get it’s not totally unrealistic--it’s generally the humanoid or human-looking ones that are treated as people, like paige, rather than like, the will o wisps or whatever, but like. again it just kinda sits with me wrong like. again it’s like ok so the human is the one asking these questions? particularly the human who was lowkey convinced they were all monsters a second ago? i get the outsider perspective thing but. idk man

glkjfglkjgfh idk i mean it’s not totally unreasonable it just seems off to me somehow but i can’t quite put my finger on exactly what it is

i love amos

i have no idea why, but his voice gets on my nerves

but i love him so goddamn much that i don’t even care and ignore it

like he’s so goddamn endearing that i can get past it, which is really saying something

i love this cricket man. i love him. 

also i LOVE THAT HE’S MARRIED TO COURTNEY LKGHJFGLKHJ 

i love barnes in general tbh

i liked the gay deer. i can understand how some people would be offended or uncomfortable, and that’s totally valid, but honestly, i thought he was hilarious. absolutely if he’d been the only queer character i’d be :/// but he isn’t, and even tho there isn’t a huge focus on rep there just isn’t a huge focus on romance in general, and it’s included enough that i feel i can trust the creators with that

and honestly the gay deer’s just fucking funny as hell lkhjgffgh

“the gay deer” “...excuse me?” (deeply tired) “he literally won’t give us any other name and it’s all he’ll answer to” iconic tbh. me as a deer god

i don’t think there’s any character i don’t like? i mean there are characters i’m supposed to dislike, like the asshole assistant director guy, and i guess the not-werewolf boat guy doesn’t particularly catch my interest or heart, but like generally i actually like all the characters 

i liked beckett a lot hes just tired... let him rest

i cant WAIT for a reunion between mckayla and beckett and mackayla and titaniumviolet. also just more beckett and titaniumviolet interaction could be fun lhkfgh

and the writing is so good i love the little stories, especially at first like the chupacabra story fglhkfjhlkgjfh it’s sweet

and the pacing is really good, i super loved how season one was her finding the zoo, and the mystery and build up to her finally seeing the mothman in person and finding the sign herself (that season ending was so satisfying like if the show had ended there i would have been happy, but i’m also glad we got more) was all so good, and then season two being her adjusting to working at the zoo and all this spooky stuff with the aquarium going on 

and like classic podcast mood of starting sorta monster of the weekish vibes with mostly unconnected short stories that slowly become more and more connected and there are callbacks (like with paige) is good 

unlike most podcasts i didn’t immediately miss the monster of the weekish format like with the magnus archives i quickly kinda wished for the normal statements minus serialization again, but with zoo i didn’t get bored of it. i wouldn’t mind some more short stories mixed in but like, i was just as fascinated

also the humor is excellent. my two favorite moments that i still remember like a week later (which is HUGE for me): 1. titaniumviolet fucking waving at the goatman like you’ve seen a coworker on the street and caught their eye and you have to do SOMETHING or they’ll bring it up later-- and then 2. that like. huge list of random shit in that old guy’s house? like it was so fucking funny all the shit they came up with i was laughing out loud (for real! not just an exhale!) and repeating them out loud in an incredulous wheeze of laughter and making my mother look at me with deep concern

me, wheezing loudly: a vial marked “time!!” 

my mother: [concern]

also i like the balance on horror because im a weak bitch, i don’t love horror, so this has a nice spooky feel but i’m not getting nightmares

i love how this podcast incorporates actual like, paranormal theories and stuff!! like mothman’s prophetic dreams, and like--oh my god, y’all, indrid cold. look, i recently watched hellier, so i know about that whole thing and the connections to mothman, and like. i remember thinking as this weird new fbi guy was coming up, like. oh, man. wouldn’t it be cool if this was indrid cold? and i kinda dismissed it like nah you’re thinking that because of hellier. but the closer we got to the reveal of his name, the more i was like.....could it be tho?

and then they called him agent cold and i was like THIS CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE 

and then they confirmed his first name showed him in that old photo and i was like AAAAAAAAAAAAAA ive never felt more thrilled in my life i love guessing things correctly and like idk how many people knew about that but i just felt really smart lghkjfglkfgjh you know like idk if it was actually that big a deal--probably not--but in the moment i felt SO smart it was great

random but i was promised trans characters. where are they. 

well there was normandy(?) but they were a pretty minor character (or. are so far?) so

am i stupid? were some of them confirmed as trans offscreen? i mean we already know i’m board for nonbinary mothman but i don’t think anyone was ever confirmed as trans in the show

also i’m slightly unclear on whether the zoo is evil or not. like they made it a mystery on purpose in season one, which makes sense. by the end it seems pretty obvious they’re not evil, and season two seems to basically be like yeah they’re not evil. occasionally misguided, but not evil or malicious by any means. 

and yet.

the fucking intro. the intro they play in every episode (and specifically recorded with a new voice actor every time so not even like just a randomly played thing--i loved that, by the way, how it was a new voice each time, it was so cool. also i have no idea why but that last line--you are following a sign marked... zoo always GETS me it’s such a good line lgkjfgh like the way it interacts with the podcast format/framing, and just generally how the sentence is constructed??? idk bro its just good shit) they always say like. “if you’re lucky you’ll move on and not go in” and “unfortunately, the zoo still exists” like???? if it’s actually not evil or malicious, why is it unfortunate? unfortunate that it needs to exist because humans destroy what they don’t exist? lucky because... you didn’t get to see the cool zoo full of cryptids? i guess it could destroy someone’s life if they got obsessed or it broke their fragile little worldview but like generally that’s not the point, right, so like. what the fuck guys

i mean is this deliberate and it’ll be a double twist, the zoo is evil after all?

i do wonder about like. not the mothman but the other people in charge. the assistant director guy is too obvious, he’s no hidden villain, but maybe one of the doctors with the nice voices or something will be

because like how did the zoo become like this anyway? first it was the mothman taking advantage of the magical moving room of requirement, and now fast forward a century or two and it’s got a whole like. company with rules and like other people in charge, people who sometimes directly conflict with the mothman and even like. get their way over them, right? so they’re not really the only one in charge anymore, are they? how did that even happen? how did they get their first employees like this??? how did they start this whole thing??

is it possible some of the other people are corrupt or something? like they’re the bad guys? i find it hard to believe the mothman is a twist villain, they’re just too earnest and like well-meaning. i guess that could be the point but it doesn’t make sense to me. again, the assistant director is too obvious, so i would think one of the other high level staff or something, maybe? 

.....now im thinking back to the discussion of “is the mothman actually an exhibit themself?” and im having... uneasy feelings.

not like bad writing uneasy feelings like “oh,,,, oh no” feelings for a future potential episode like...

whatever The Bad Guy in the zoo is being like well mothman you’re an exhibit :)) we’ve let you run free long enough >:) and all the people cryptids being shoved back in the exhibit cages

oh god oh god like a mothman exhibit they cant escape from modified for them, a gilded, glorified hamster cage

terrifying!!! terrifying!!!! it’d be a damn good “oh OOF” moment tho like actually wow i love that. in like a “that would be horrible!!!!” (evil cackling) “the angst would be delicious!”

actually do they already have an exhibit? like. where do they sleep. the flashback to zoo origins mentioned a little house like that is that little house still there somewhere deep in the zoo, a reminder of their origins? that’d be sweet :)

anyway idk either way it just seems weird to start the episode from a season about this good zoo that’s protecting weird magical creatures and beings and then it starts with like “UNFORTUNATELY the zoo is still there and you may if u are unlucky go in one day!!”

ok but the MUSIC!!!!!! mostly the theme (so!! good!!!) but also like the siren’s song is iconic. i could listen to both for hours

the aquarium and its director is such a good villain so far!! so spooky!! and the foreshadowing was super well done 

i wish there were transcripts tho. why don’t more podcasts have transcripts. please. please provide transcripts. i’m begging you

overall i super duper love this podcast so much. all the criticism i’ve mentioned is purely out of love for this show like i wouldn’t care enough to think about all this if i didn’t really really love the show. 

the writing is excellent, the tone and humor and spookiness great. it’s engaging and fun and the characters are endearing and it’s just overall a really good story. a really good show. i’d say it’s tied in first place as my favorite podcast with death by dying right now, night vale only falling into third because despite my love for it years ago, i still haven’t caught up. 

and any issues i do have with this show (none of which actually make me dislike the show, just make me think) do not at all detract from my enjoyment. except maybe the transcripts thing. blease i have audio processing issues i need transcripts,

also i want the lyrics to that siren song so i can sing it in the shower

and also a quick reference for any meta or fic or anything else i may write lmao

seriously there are so many benefits to transcripts particularly for accessibility 

there’s probably more i’m not thinking of--i might add that after i relisten to it again, which i plan to do--but for now this is it :) if anyone wants to talk about any of this PLEASE fire away im loving this show and no one i know will listen to it flgkhfjgh

[moonshxdows]

book 2 trailer analysis

ill be posting some screencaps of the trailer sometime tomorrow as well so keep an eye out!

AAAAAAAAAAA ITS HERE!!!!!!

okay so a quick rewatch before I go through it frame by frame and just. god im so excited i love this show so much

anyways everything's gonna be under the cut bc its long and spoilery if u havent seen the trailer yet

okay so the opening clip looks like its in a human town. dragang is being chased across the bridge by some angry humans with pitchforks. raylas wearing the human cape. they got caught?

some clips from s1

okay. ezran ellis and zym are outside this white building. its shaped similarly to the star elf buildings we see later on. did they have to sit out some stuff that rayla and callum got to see? or is this like. lujanne's house or something

the fire (?) dragon is coming down on "a town of katolis" that soren is in. im assuming this isnt near the castle and claudia is there but out of frame, so did they get caught up in something on accident or were the dragons drawn to them because of the spell? lujanne recognized it, the dragons might too

wife (sunfire knight)

if my blog wasnt more cool toned that would be my new header oh my god

in the upper left corner of the screen theres a castle. there aren't any human kingdoms that are on the banks of a lava waterfall so is that an elf castle? or is this the place where all the royals got that fire background?

im dumb thats probably a halfway castle and the lava river is the border i forgot they said border over this

fuck off vitriol

elves attacking amaya and her squadron. these are likely the sunfire elves at the border, since amaya is also at the border. the castle in the last shot is probably more of a fortress

wife kicking ass! w her cool ass sword

something i noticed about the sunfire elves, or at least the warriors. the headdresses they wear are actually armor to protect their horns! they also have markings/tattoos like moonshadow elves, but they seem less elaborate (at least on their face)

does this mean horns are as important in all elf races or just sunfire elf races?

opeli ur the only bitch in this house i trust. is viren keeping the missions w the brodigies under wraps or does opeli think that's not enough?

boat! are they on their way to evenere?

awe

star elf bitch there u are u sexy bastard. zi @moonxadia made a fantastic theory on that elf here, but tl;dr that's elarion being shady (as much as ive liked the aaravos theories i dont think thats him)

viren being shady (spell had similar look as star elf from last clip)

RAYLA I MISSED YOU

zym i would die for you

the background to that looks interesting- are they having a big dinner of some sort?

ik other people have said this but that's definetly runaans strike crew from early s1. the very dead strike crew. zombie elves!

also if they touch a hair on aanyas head i Will Cry she looks so small in that throne...

(altho they dont really seem to be attacking her at all?)

okay so i know people have been saying the on fire shot are elves but i really dont think so. none of them have horns or the sunfire headdresses. i think that's a human army

AZYMONDIAS THE FUTURE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU IN A HEARTBEAT

(its another moon moth. same one as from earlier in the trailer?)

so in the shot of dragang on The Bird, callum looks really upset. like, seriously upset. this might be part of a joke bc hes holding bait, but im worried

ezran baby boy. hes so worried

zym!!!! i love you!!!!!!!

these pillars look real cool. is this a magic place?

okay so runaans deceased elf crew again, but pre-zombification (or post?) did lujanne summon them? is it a moon elf thing? why are they stars? is it a star elf clearing?

so zoom out, theyre in these... gazebos? made of starlight? nothing to comment it just looks real cool

hey claudia maybe... not.

im very concerned that when claudia said "you take creatures that are born with magic inside and squeeze it out of them" it panned over zym briefly

callum looked concerned so im hoping its a flashback of some sort? but they look like theyre in an elf place... idk. im worried about him this season

i know i said what i said but dark magic claudia is hot

wtf was that thing tho

rayla is suspicious™ (and she should be tbh)

sword fight!! im both excited and scared

callum is having a rough time and i want to hug him

thankfully raylas there

so a lot of people have said this but i do think thats because of harrow, not the dark magic. idk why i think that but. shrug

so i wanna talk about the audio playing over these last few bullets real quick. rayla says they cant trust soren and claudia, followed immediately by lujanne saying "real trust is about accepting the dark parts we will never know" which makes me curious. did brodigies and catch up with dragang while they were still with lujanne? since the group splits sometime during the season

if it is the case im curious how theyre gonna go from hating elves to being in a traveling party with 2 of them and a baby dragon

and if thats not the case, what is lujanne talking about?

wait i just had a really horrible thought what if they lied to win dragang's trust and rayla is the only one that's suspicious

moving on,

rayla and callum both look Real Concerned wtf are they talking about

so it looks like lujanne is leading callum to some Elf Thing; maybe its right before she shows him the star elf ghosts? it does look to be around sunset

DRAGON QUEEN???

even if its not tHATS THE POSTER DRAGON HELLO!!!!

rayla i will never not love you

EZRAN I WILL NEVER NOT LOVE YOU

sarai Hes Not Worth It

im excited about flashbacks though 👀

hello lord voltron. perish.

okay so thats the same fire dragon from earlier, but w its face all cut up. soren was prepared to go sword vs dragon and i think he won

"watch yo fuckin dog bitch" "he dont bite" "yES HE DO"

thats the vibe coming from that wolf/badger thing. also that guy screaming at the cat in his backyard

but fr what is that

thunder kinda looks like voldemort from this angle ngl

okay. okay. dark magic callum is a go

buddy what the FUCK do you think youre doing

ive seen some things saying that he's being controlled but i dont think so. i think he listened to claudia and im very curious to see how this affects his relationship with rayla

i think he was missing being the mage? which is why he tried to learn primal magic from lujanne but failed ultimately

depending on the theory, i wonder how people will spin half-elf!callum for this

i dont actually know if elves can even use dark magic fjnshfk like i assume they can but?? who knows

fire golem?? and who has the sword

my bad theres soren v dragon i thought it was earlier

mr fire dragon sir how the fuck did you lose. you have teeth? claws? wings? presumably fire powers?

AAAAAAAAAA TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!

[captainshyguy]

god so....me nd jester finished gravity falls and....GOD 

i have sos oso much to say about it, (under the cut tho ofc) 

but like....tl;dr.....that was easily the best show i’ve ever watched, and one of the best narrative’s i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing 

oof ok so i’ll start small

the animation in general, ESPECIALLY the scenery was rly nice

god the theme like not the theme SONG (though that will get its own bullet point)but like??the theme of the show??? the mystery feel mixed with modern stuff, and still being REALLY DARK AND HAVING GENUINE HORROR whilst still managing to be a kids show is wild 

like!!! they didnt pull any punches!!! they didnt treat kids like dumbasses that would get the show!! it complex and intelligent and engaging!!!! 

ok so the THEME SONG ok GOD I LOVED IT BUT....turns out bc me and jester were using dailymotion well.....uhhh 90% of the gravity falls eps on there are sped up?? (like 1:25x speed) i NEVER NOTICED i jsut thought all the eps were around 18-19 mins??? turns out thery’re actually 22, so we’ve been watching at a slightly faster pace??? we watched ONE at a slower pace and i was like ‘WHAT’ but like!! that slower pace wasthe reAL SPEED NKHDFHNJHJF its...v strange tbh bc i’ll probably rewatch them on kimcarttons bc thats’ more reliable and all in the right palce but....idk i kinda prefer the slightly sped up version??? its enough that al lthe characters still seem rly natural they didnt...seem liek they were sped up but they WERE but it means the natural ones now seem slower to me nkjkdhjfkd, either way watch the theme song on 1.25x on youtube and you’ll see my experience its....rly good 

BUT GOD IT WAS WRITTEN SO FUCKNG WELL THERE WAS NO LOOSE ENDS I DONT THINK????? IT JUST!!! EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD ND SATISFYING 

god the FORESHADOWING ABT STUFF like!!!!! the 6 fingers ALL THE BILL IMAGERY LIKE god i kNEW abt bill cipher so everytime i saw a triangle i lost my mind, just went absolutely hogwild on the keyboard 

GOD OKAY SO FAVE CHARACTERS UHHH bills my bastard fave and i’ll get to him later SO 

dIPPER ok just!!! a kid who was rly into mysteries nd nerding things and reading BIG FUCKNIG MOOD alos befire he showed like..any interest in girls nd was eye rolling at mabel talking at boys i was like ‘oh!!! aro ace!!!’ then the wendy stuff happened and i went ‘welp, i made my bed, time to lie in it’ and i SMASHED the compulsory heterosexuality button KHDFHNDFJ oh yeah he’s trans bc hell yea 

STAN I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH LIKE he’s super fucking funny and like!!!! he cares SO SO MCUH abt mabel and dipper nd his bro!!!! he cares nd loves for them wholst still being that cool, chaotic, not exactly law abiding grunkle and!!! he literally learned how to work his bros machine nd tried to 30 years just to get him back AAAAAAAAAA and GOD BEING WILLING TO SACRIFICE HIS OWN MEMORIES TO SAVE EVERYONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA o he’s also trans bc ye!!!

bill cipher...bastard fave like...god i’ve said this before but!!!!! idc abt villains most of the time but HE FITS INTO MY DIMENTIO NICHE (slightly uncanny, theatrical/charismatic, MAJOR FUCKING THREATS) there’s defo!!! differences between them tho, like bill cipher actually has friends lmao, they wanted to...remake the universe/multiverse in different ways (dimentio by erasing everyone from existence and rebuilding it himself, bill by just fucking up everything that’s already there) plus dimentio played the long game on screen more ig????? like we always knew bill was bad, it’s made obvious, maybe not main antagonist, but bad, but spm makes u think dimentio MIGHT be on ur side, or at least wont betray the count to be the true villain??? either way tho i was talking to jester abt this, but when i blackmail nintendo into letting me make an aniamted spm series in 20 years im gonna have some fun doing similar foreshadowing stuff with dimentio that gravity falls did with bill GDFHJHDJF (nd just!! letting him be animated in general bc dimentios already cool, can you IMAGINE HIM with animated with lotsa life nd fluidity like bill?? wild) 

but yeah tldr bill bastard but...COOL BASTARD 

the canon gay police guys were rly sweet!! hel yea!!!

i....the only thing i didnt like was them keeping robbie and tambry together LIKE THEY DIDNT CONSNT TO THAT WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS A LOVE POTION AND EVERYONE ACTED LIKE IT WAS OKAY THATS NOT PLAYING MATCHAMKER WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS FORCED LOVE WHAT THE SHIT 

i just!! god i rly loved it it was such a good story and it was the perfect length, you could TELL the creator went ‘this is going to be as long at the story needs it to be, im not stretching it out and making it stale/having the quality dip like’ it was  pefect nd we all want more bc we loved it but!!! it also ended in such a satisfying way that i couldnt imagine it coming back without being worried the quality would dip so im satisfied but OOF

fuck...i lvo it so much i LOVE IT I NEED TO FOLLOW SOME GRAVITY FALLS BLOGS IMMEDIATELY 

uhhhh lgbt hcs with the main 6 bc im gay and i do what i want (remember i’ve already smashed the comphet button so dont come at me like ‘uhh but she dated a guy’ bullshit):

wendy: trans nd gay 

mabel: bi 

dipper:trans and aro ace 

stan: trans and bi 

ford: gay 

soos: hmmm......not...sure....he gave me ace vibes....het/bi ace???

[handgunz]

this really long questions meme thing that you can read if you want to get to know me but if not you can continue to go watch rick & morty or whatever shit you’re consuming this fine wednesday night

so many ppl tagged me for this like @shimmy-sham-with-the-fam​ and @www98vikitoo​ off the top of my head but i legit cant remember the rest and i dont wanna change tabs

for any questions i dont wanna answer ill just put “AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES” bc thats the answer to the “last song you listened to/what are you listening to rn” lmfaooo and yall should listen to that creepy ass RWBY soundtrack bc i listened to it to the point where it stopped being really disturbing and actually kinda catchy

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: @proofofhumanity​ it was probably yesterday or today, i dont really remember bc we call like almost every single day. aka im usually the only one talking while she types stuff in response. 

3. Text: it was @ DC like 2 seconds ago

4. Song you listened to: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES (this is actually the song tho)

5. Time you cried: i dont remember, probably a long time ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lmfao worst relationship of my life

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really actually

8. Been cheated on: yep

9. Lost someone special: lmfao

10. Been depressed: im too cool for that

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not that stupid

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: silver, black, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: i make new friends like every week lmao

16. Fallen out of love: yea

17. Laughed until you cried: wyd??? i do this literally every day. i laugh so fucking much every single hour at the dumbest shit, probably 30% of my life is spent laughing at someone or something. 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: uwu ya

19. Met somebody who changed you: im the only person who can change myself gtfo 

20. Found out who your friends are: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

23. Do you have any pets: yea, 2 doggies

24. Do you want to change your name: sorta??

25: What did you do for your last birthday: whatever my mom wanted to do for the occasion, i dont really remember bc i didnt care

26. What time did you wake up: 6am every day

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching rwby chibi, talking to abby, lost, and lotti on discord, was rlly warm under some blankets

28. Name something you cant wait for: im rlly excited about mercury being in volume 5!! i cant wait til he comes on because he’s one of my fave characters ever <33333333333

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2-3 hours ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: n/a

31: What are you listening to right now: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i doubt it?

33. Some thing that is getting on your nerves: nothing that i can think of at the top of my mind

34: Most visited website: tumblr or discord

35. mole/s: wtf

36: mark/s: i have a birthmark that kinda looks like a heart on my hand

37: Childhood dream: n/a

38: Hair color: dark brown

39: long or short hair: it’s long ig, it goes down to a little bit above the halfway point in my back

40: Do u have a crush on anyone: i dont have time for that kind of thing

41: What do you like about yourself?: everything lmao i dont have low self esteem, at least i dont think so

42. Piercings: my ears are pierced but i dont wear earrings 

43. Blood type: A+ or A-, i dont really remember

44. Nickname: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

45. Relationship status: single and not available for flirting 

46. Zodiac: aries sun, scorpio moon, aries rising (yeah im the devil)

47. Pronouns: he/him or she/her 

48: Favorite tv shows: rwby, hxh, and nge

50. Right or left hand: both

51. Surgery: no thanks

52. Hair dyed in a different color: i dont do that lmao

53: Sport: too busy with grades for that

55. Vacation: las vegas is my favorite city so i would really like to go there again. french buffets are cool.

56: Pair of trainers: wyd??

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: popcorn

58. Drinking: citrus tea

59. I’m about to: sleep hopefully

61: Waiting for: rwby vol 5 ep 5 comin out this weekend 

62: Want: to write better and better til im the best. i dont really know what this question is asking. but that’s one of my various goals. 

63. Get married: i believe in prenuptial agreements but if that’s out of the way then sure

64. Career: gonna be a nurse or a physician’s assistant (while writing as a hobby)

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs definitely 

66. Lips or eyes: literally do not remember the last time i cared about lips, so probably eyes

67. Shorter or taller: doooon’t really care

68. Older or younger: preferably the same age honestly ?

70. nice arms or nice stomach: whoooo caaaaaaaares

71: sensitive or loud: anyways i want to die

72. Hook up or relationship: meeeeeeercuryyyyyyyyy blaaaack

73. troublemaker or hesitant: lusus naturae, bitch

HAVE YOU EVER:

74: Kissed a stranger: ugh

75. Lost glasses / contact lens: nope

76. Turned someone down: yea

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Had your heart broken: yea

80. Broken someone’s heart: yeaaaaaaaaa

81. Been arrested: why are you interrogating me

82. Cried when someone died: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

83. fallen for a friend: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: more than anything else in the world. i’d rather believe in myself than anyone i’ve ever met in my entire life. 

85. Miracles: nope

86. Love at first sight: noooope

87. Santa Claus: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

OTHER:

90. current best friend name: lost

91. Eye color: brown because im a bitch of color

92. favorite movie: aaaaaaaaaa maybe kill bill? heathers? mean girls? no idea

this took like ten thousand years so maybe @driftingglass​ @decembercamiecherries​ @proofofhumanity​ @smooth-and-skeletal​ @abnirests​ @inspookswetrust​ whoever tf else wants to do this who’s actually read this far just idk say i tagged you or something

[uniformbravo]

fffffFuck

im rly inspired to work on webcomic stuff i wanna make a webcomic!! im ready!!! i want to dive into a story and experiment and learn how to best do things as i go i wanna see that Improvement as i get a feel for what the story should be i wanna be a part of the process so bad im ready aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

my Big Project, the one i talked about a lot, right; i kind of put it aside for a while but lately i’ve just kind of been in the Mood??? i honestly lost interest for a while kinda, not in the sense that i dropped it entirely, but i was hitting a lot of road blocks and pretty much ended up inadvertently taking a break from it, and in the mean time i watched a lot of shit and i think it was good for me?

because i feel like if i spend too long going hard on one thing i burn out really easily and everything starts to become more forced than passion-driven, and passion is what i want for this shit bc if im not enjoying it then why the hell am i even doing this right

so when i take a break and allow myself to dive into some show/comic/etc that can make me Feel The Good Shit, it inspires me!! it makes me want to create something that i can be equally as passionate about (and hopefully inspire other people too!) and like, it used to be such a frustrating feeling because i was filled with so much Energy and Passion that i had absolutely no idea what to do with, it would just kind of crackle and burn inside like i was going to explode any minute and i had nowhere to direct it and it was super unsatisfying but now!!! 

now i have something to pour all that creative energy into! now whenever i get super inspired by something i start thinking about this project and how i can take the creative influence from the show/comic/whatever and pour it into my own story and it finally feels like i have purpose, in a sense? like, i might not be getting any actual, tangible Ideas to apply to my plot or whatever, but i can take those Feelings and Emotions and think of them within the context of my world, and that can then turn into tangible ideas and idk it’s just really good!!! it’s Good to finally have something to pour this overwhelming inspiration into, and i guess i can only hope that what eventually comes out of all of this can do all of these thoughts and feelings proper justice

right now i feel like i have a lot of vague ideas of what i want the story to be like in general? i don’t mean plot-wise or even in terms of worldbuilding, i just mean like. the technical kind of storytelling elements, if that makes sense? it’s like, i’m writing down all these notes on what i observe to be Good Storytelling and Characterization in the things i like so that maybe i can successfully apply them to my own story down the line, and i guess that’s where some of my current worries stem from? 

bc i want to make this big, great Thing that employs all these devices im compiling but the question is whether i’ll be able to actually Do it or if it’ll come out as this big messy Attempt, u know? and it doesn’t help that this is my first Big Project like this, like i’ve never made a comic before, first of all, like that’s the. the Big One (although i am planning to do smaller comic projects first to experiment and figure things out so that maybe i can become familiar with the process before tackling something so huge that i want to be so good)

basically my plan is to.... plan. like, super plan. Plan Everything. that’s my strategy at this point, like. the taking notes on things i like, the practice comics beforehand, all of it is planning in order to help make this project the best that it can be, and i guess my main worry is that despite all the work im putting into this, it still won’t hit the mark

like, im a big perfectionist when it comes to things i care about, and i really care about this project. i really want to make this a good thing. something i’ll probably/definitely have to accept is that it’s not gonna be perfect; parts of it will be messy, parts of it won’t flow like i imagined, parts of it will be really awkward and that’s fine

idk man i mean it’s kind of bizarre to be considering all of this stuff right now when the whole project is still in such an early, vague, misshapen stage like for real i barely know anything abt these characters except that they will probably exist, maybe, and i have a hundred million shifting ideas that all conflict with each other and just literally overall this story is absolutely nothing yet, i still have so much fucking work to do it’s overwhelming

but man

seeing how far other projects have come since their beginnings is really inspiring 

like

it’s ok

it doesn’t all have to be done right now, these things take time (especially if ur a team of one (1), practically speaking) 

i like to think that years down the line, as i continue to work on this project, i’ll look back at myself now and think, “dang, i really had no idea what i was doing and i felt intimidated and overwhelmed and vastly under-equipped, but i’m glad that i kept going despite all of that to get to where i am today, where i definitely have everything figured out probably i mean hopefully like @ future me i’m really trusting you w/ this please”

i mean, idk. i want to make my future self proud? i want to give myself something to be proud of. 

that’s a good goal, i think