#i think this is my favorite sam line from season 1

[zmediaoutlet]

spn20rewatch, 1.10: "Do we need to talk about this?"

Possession is the bread-and-butter of Supernatural. Whether it's demons or ghosts or just real bad vibes, seems like there's always something willing to creep into a host like rot and start in on cracking foundations. A favorite line is that demons, in particular, always lie unless they're telling the truth, and really it seems to be that the possessions in general trend toward: what would hurt most? What if it's a truth that could be excused as a lie, but at a deep level there's a truth there that can't ever be told because it would break everything apart?

Asylum is part of a critical episode run in season 1 that reveals tons of details about the Winchester family -- how they operate, the roles they have and what's expected of them, etc., but more importantly how they'll operate into the future. Sam and Dean are brothers and they love each other, but even with their immediate return to a kind of young bro-bantz partnership in the early episode of s1, they aren't truly partners yet in a way that will actually be functional through to the future. There are some old resentments here that haven't been exorcised; more importantly, there's some testing of the relationship that hasn't been done. It's one thing to settle back into your old patterns of boys yoked together and working for your dad -- it's another when that yoke is shattered, and you have to choose what to do about that. Bugs to Home to Asylum to Scarecrow to Faith will really test Sam and Dean and make them into the hunting partners they'll need to be in order to survive what'll come.

Unfortunately, Asylum is the nadir of that testing. Ellicot's insidious work inflates anger and makes people violent and turns things as dark as can be -- but, actually, we don't get any real indication that he makes people feel or say things they don't actually mean. They're just things that have been put away or smoothed over, because saying them would be too awful. Later, soulless!Sam will operate in a similar way to how "Asylum"!Sam operates now -- the filters over the worst hardest truths are just gone, and everyone in his path gets to take them at full force. Dean gets the brunt of it here, first with rock salt to the chest and then with much, much more painful words to follow. He's under no illusions that Sam doesn't mean what he's saying, as we can tell from how flatly he takes Sam's non-apology at the end of the episode. He knows Sam doesn't respect him for being "daddy's good little soldier," and we see from other examples (notably in s3) that Dean doesn't even respect himself for that -- why would Sam feel any differently. It hurts either way, though, especially when we think of a line of dialogue from much, much later -- I thought you'd tell me to get lost, or get dead.

SAM: That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you. DEAN: So what are you gonna do, huh? Are you gonna kill me? [...] SAM pulls the trigger.

Always a delight to have your worst fears be realized. But it's the kind of thing that's needed, structurally, so that when a break happens the bone can be reset cleanly and heal up strong -- which they'll get, eventually. It's just not very much fun, in the meantime.

[skyeoak]

Tmagp 30 thoughts

Vocal performances all slayed. 10/10

I think there’s a lot of good and bad in the finale! But overall, it feels underbaked. (Or overplotted/overplanned?)

I’ll save my finalized thoughts on the hilltop center to see if it’s developed in further seasons, because uh, hmm. Jonny said in the live drop that carousels of horrors were his favorite to write, but they sure are not realllyyyy my favorite to listen to. They’re kind of thematic scattershot. And yeah, one of my critiques about TMA is that I don’t love how we only rarely see how the fears combine and interact. Having multiple creepy things in a curiosity cabinet -com shopping center doesn’t really solve that problem for me.

The idea of a character turning a blind eye to an obviously creepy job is still interesting, especially in how it parallels the staff of the OIAR. But that’s kinda the start and end of my interest in the custodian? It feels like this story could have been shrunk to 1/3 length and had a better effect. I just feel like this should have been a midseason statement, and the finale could have focused on having some sort of action or tension. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting the finale to have a statement at all, to be structurally in line with early TMA. Maybe a full statement/story from Celia, giving the non-TMA audience some idea of why she thinks there’s nothing to go back to in her universe. Hell. Maybe she could just. Tell Sam, uncompelled. I would have loved to see her try to convince him to jump. Convince him that her new life matters more than his (perceived) failure of one. Instead… this is another episode where I feel like the double meaning titles weigh down what the statement could be. And it’s the season finale.

I wondered early on if the finale for this season would feel more like setup for future seasons, and yep. Yep it did. It just felt like there was this inherent tension between the stakes of the story, which are already at interdimensional travel, and the level of danger it feels like everyone is in. Not to mention how Celia just drops a list of alchemical balance things out of the blue. Magnus Protocol is in a tricky situation: they need to set up a new conflict and new characters, and at the same time, Magpod has already done mega-apocalypse hellscapes and so TMagP might feel the need to go bigger. (Imo I don’t think sequels always need to raise the stakes but I understand that’s industry standard). It’s also tackling alchemy, a notoriously complex subject that’s probably hard to explain to an audience in any way that feels natural. You can’t just throw murder worm lady and screaming main character in the finale and call it a day. There’s a lot going on, less time, and I don’t know if the characterization this season was consistent (/consistently good) enough to hold the full weight of it all.

OKAY, WHELMED THOUGHTS OVER, now for the good! Surprise surprise, it’s all the little character payoffs!

Gwen and Lena’s confrontation was EVERYTHING. Gwen is kicking anthills, and Lena is so content to let her stand in them while the ants crawl up her legs. I won’t lie though, I’m not sure if this plotline will be interesting to me. I think it depends on how fast the OIAR staff can get Gwen to actually be on their side.

Sam deciding to protect Celia by pushing the archivist into the void is SENSATIONAL CHARACTER PAYOFF. (This is my interpretation of the scene, audio was super unclear once again, and there was a line change from transcript to podcast that made this super ambiguous in the actual canon audio.) My poor guy has ZERO self esteem, and still wants to be a hero. He probably realized that if what Celia just told him was true, an archivist could actually kill her on the spot. My guess is that (tma spoilers) this balanced the rift not because Celia replaced her own missing soul (plenty of folks got sent through hilltop road in that same incident) but because an archivist+a person were pulled through to replace Jon and Martin. Truly excited to see where they end up, and if this archivist gets developed more as a character next season. Also the implications of interdimensional balance on what happened at the end of TMA are… interesting.

Oh Alice. Everything in this intricately balanced house of checking up on people and soothing them and deflecting tension with jokes is about to come crashing down. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

And yes, this is a super lukewarm episode review but I do wanna say I liked this season a lot, and TMAGP is still a cut above a LOT of horror I have read/listened to this year. I’m hoping seasons 2 and 3 will either steer further into a direct TMA sequel, angle OR steer clear and become their own thing. TMAGP is stuck uncomfortably in the middle right now. Just be the good parts of her. But completely new.

[fukutomichi]

It's RAMBLE TIIIME!!! Okay, I think I can talk about it now, probably most have seen the episodes. It's a bit longish! Here we go!

That first episode is so far my favorite, because above all else, I'm a GIGANTIC fan of visual storytelling and show-don'tell, and that first episode had me FEASTING. You can probably tell by my gifsets that I love when actors emote and act without dialog using only emotions and facial expressions to get the message out. Episode 1 gave us so much of it. And dare I say bordering a bit on horror/gore a bit, those first few minutes with Sauron in his "desk job era" had me surprised by how brutal it got quickly.

If people are wondering if they're gonna do the Celebrimbor thing, and if THAT is gonna be too brutal to show, this might confirm that they may not shy away from it at all.

I love the fact that they took the criticism that was mentioned for the first two-three episodes in Season 1, when I was actually kinda worried that the pace was going a bit TOO slow and it took three weeks, when the story moves to Númenor , for the series to fully kick in gear. This time they were like, lets get the set-up out of the way, all at once, and then release week after week. Lets see if this decision pays of in the next weeks ahead.

So lets get this out of the way. I had a hunch with Nazanin Boniadi missing from promos and interviews that they are gonna off her character right away. Turns out that there was even an announcement before that I've completely missed and I was gutted when I found out, but in the end of the day, a job is still a job, and if it affects you in anyway, it's probably best to leave it. I have had a first hand experience in this and no matter how high the pay was, my health was much more important than anything and had to quit. I'm gonna miss her and wish her the best!

Arondir and Theo's relationship gets back to square one, so I'm interested to see in what way or IF it gets mended cause man, I dunno how they can pull it off this time. BUT I do LOVE that they've paired Theo alongside Isildur which is a character he can empathize with so I wanna see where that leads. My friends immidiatelly groaned when they heard "Gawddd the ARROW really?? =___="...and then remembered about a tiny movie called The Hobbit and what happened to Kili. We had to go to Hobbit logic to explain it away and move on lol.

The new character Estrid, was IMMEDIATELY suss as HELL to me. Even after she burned her sigil on her back so she can hide it. I've been listening to her soundtrack theme, and almost like as if its made from two layers, feels almost TOO magical for her even. But this is just my hunch. Isildur is still too wide-eyed and naive so maybe she will serve some purpose in him getting a bit jaded later on.

ORC BABIES!! HELLO!! I love that we're getting deeper into the orcish origins and probably everyone's favorite topic, are they redeemable?? Can they be??? I also love that we got to have two Adars. Season 1 we had Joseph Mawle with an almost vulnerable portrayal and what seemed like a suicide mission for him. Now for Season 2 we get Sam Hazledine, with his goal complete AND him still alive, a more driven and focused character...but is he gonna survive THIS season?? 😭

We know Adar also mentions how he meets Sauron for the first time...but that doesn't stop me from AGAIN, thinking that he IS MAGLOR. Come one maaaan, the hand!!! "In the eldest of the Elder days" you don't just drop a line like that causally. DROP THAT REVEAL!!!

WE NEED MORE OF THE HARFOOTS!!! WE NEED MORE WIZARDS!!! These 3 eps were not enough for me lol. I'm just beyond excited for Tom Bombadil!! Please have Goldberry, please have Goldberry!!

Disa and Durin are still relationship goals. UGHHH!! They will have me stressed!

I ain't gonna lie. When that giant eagle landed before Pharazôn, there were a few seconds where I was buttclenching thinking he was gonna pull his sword and swing it on the bird...but then Manwë would probably descend and obliterate Númenor in seconds and the series would be over lol. Númenor will have me stresseeeed. The Petty Lord and his Queen WILL RUIN MEEEH!! 😭 😭 😭

Ben Daniels as Cirdan is an A+++ casting choice. Kinda bummed that he hasn't talked properly with Gil-Galad tho. Make different characters interact more with each other damn iiiiit!!! Let us see them establish connections!!

That being said, my favorite part so far, and are probably gonna be the central focus of this season, are the elves. Their strive for perfection, thinking themselves SO infallible, beyond prideful, are gonna be the very things that bite them in the ass...again lol.

And it's important for us to see that, cause THAT is the extent of Sauron's evil, we need to witness just how much he can mess you up and how much he enjoys playing the game, in the same time thinking himself savior and deserving of love. How much PURE good you have to be to resist him. Elrond so far has proven able to resist, given his past.

Galadriel is on the brink. If listening to "The Last Temptation" tells me something...Galadriel so far hasn't learned her lesson and thinking herself able to resist.

I believe there's a gut-punch coming up in the finale and I'm not gonna be ready for it. And yet, as much as I don't like it, WE NEED TO SEE IT! We need to see how evil can be tempting and irresistible, that even an infallible being can fail.

After all, it's all downhill from here.

[kitheking]

Redacted Awards 2024 🌟 my submission post

hihihi so i nominated myself for Samuel Collin’s #1 fan and this is my attempt at convincing you why i should win. you might wanna sit down for this one <3

1. Sam’s playlist is how i discovered the Redacted Audio community bc he was the first character I ever listened to

2. he’s southern and I have spent half of my life being in the south so him and i are basically soul tied

3. I knew Sam was the Duke of the Solaire Clan WAY before it was revealed because i had a dream about it

4. i also had a hunch his eyes were brown pre-turning. i’m just that good.

5. Even after listening to other RA characters like Milo, Vincent, David (some of my other fav characters when i first started listening to the channel) etc, I was still drawn to Sam (because his character is written so well)

- I honestly love how we still don’t know everything about Sam’s life pre-turning in detail besides his relationship with his grandma. like he’s so mysterious

- he was originally a flawed character (when he was featured in Fredericks storyline) and that’s honestly what drew me to him more

6. he knows what the omegaverse and uses his knowledge to tease the pack, which is something i would 100% do (were like the same person)

7. He’s my comfort character, and I have rewatched his playlist so many times to the point where I have the: Moonlit Meeting With a Vampire, Vampire Tends to Your Injuries, Getting Closer to Your Vampire Mate, Cuddles and Confessions With Your Vampire Mate, Warming Up With Your Vampire Mate, Solstice Party With The Werewolf Pack, Going All the Way With Your Vampire Mate, Your Vampire Mate Makes You a Promise, Your Vampire Mate Tries to Learn a Video game, Cuddling Up and Watching a Scary Movie With Your Vampire Mate, Heating Up In The Bedroom w/ Your Vampire Mate Audios ALL memorized bar for bar…. and the moving in audio.. and cuddly morning audios (with and without asher)… and all the quinn audios.. uhhh the valentine’s day one…. all his lines in the summit and inversion… and the club one. Yeah i think that’s it. Oh yeah and the HBS one in the pool. Can you believe i just typed all that? 🔥

8. I have never related to an asmr listener more than i have related to darlin

9. I actually start to tweak when I go more than 3 months without a new Sam audio (i was struggling until i heard from him in the wedding audio)

10. my bio has included a Sam quote for 2 years now

11. here’s a few of my posts about sam that i think represent how much i think of him

majority of my posts have something to do w him and i post the most when a new sam audio drops

12. His favorite season is fall. guess what my favorite season is? BOOM. Guess what season my birthday just so happens to be in? EXACTLY.

13. Sam’s character helped me realize that I should never be ashamed to ask for help and that I never have to struggle alone

14. Umm this post? like c’mon i dare you to say i’m not dedicated

okay i’ll stop now! honestly my chance of winning is low cause there’s like a billion other people who are nominated for Sam’s #1 fan but that’s ok! if any of said ppl see this post good luck!

@plaqying thank you for coming up with this i’m genuinely so excited wether i win anything or not

[kittyplushy]

Soul Touch [1/2]

Author's note: Happy House Guest Monthsary!!! My mind has been flooded with the sappiness of deep infatuation before the Horrors barge in!! I wanted to write something pre-relationship, something soft and nice and pretentiously sweet like the little town that homes them. Happy House Guest Monthsary!!

P.S. Yes Penderverse Knuckles reference. I love you She Loves You arc.

December 2nd, 1987

I might be slowly slipping out of the motivation to continue such a project. Maybe it's the weather. The temperature has been dropping each day and my body clock compels me to commit less these days. It even prevents me from committing emotionally some days. To my favorite side project or to this untitled goose chase. I could not promise myself that my props would be ready by Christmastime. I think I'll have to endure all the queries and invitations. No, no, but maybe I'll have something ready by Valentine's. But my body now is focused on getting me home and running a long bath. It might be easy to catch a fish in this weather, but God knows a body isn't as satisfying when it's colder and limper. The stream doesn't flow like a fall with most of my catches in this season. But it's the most I can do for myself today. My hands are almost frigid from the frost. I have to get back now.

Passing through the boulevard bound back to Woodbrook, a line of people formed from the sidewalk as they all appear to be hailing taxis. Most of them holding boxes and bags, carrying children, or sharing a moment with another, shopping bag between them. Then there's a person in a bright pink parka. I slowed the truck to get a better look at the familiar sight. Well wouldn't you know it, Julianne was in the city today. Her eyes were focused on how long the queue was getting. I blew the horn immediately to catch the feline's attention. Her tail jumped up from shock, and looked around before noticing my car, squinting to make out my silhouette.

"Hey Julianne!" I smiled after quickly rolling down my window. Her expression changes from confused to shocked, a weak smile curling from her lips.

"Oh my god- hi Sam!" Julianne's voice was shrill with an excitement or nervousness "Just waiting for a cab."

"I'm headed back. Want a ride?" I shut myself up realizing what I just offered. The seats back there looked clean. I cleaned my apron and goggles. Nothing here smells like blood. I return my attention to Julianne. She nods, picking up a carboard box she was trudging along. I got myself out and carried the box into the back seat. She only gets inside when I give her a nod. She sighs in relief entering the truck, enjoying the warmth yet that nervousness doesn't wash off her face. I playfully nudge her shoulder before starting the engine.

"You can relax now. I'm not your boss...Now, what do you say?"

"Thank you." Julianne says with a sincere smile. Her eyes only meet mine for a second then she looks down at her feet.

"What brings you here? I thought you said you hated the city."

Julianne leans into the door looking out into the passing world. I chuckle to myself how obvious she's being. I've seen the signs and the symptoms of people with crushes. I'd rather they not act that way towards me. It looks endearing on her though. Maybe it's a waste if I wait this project out til Spring. The trap is ready and set. She composes herself before softly replying.

"It's a free day. I just wanna...get in a crowd and disappear in a crowd. Do you know what I mean? As much as I like being..a new face in Woodbrook going back to a place like this puts me back in perspective."

Her voice dreamy with a fond cynicism. Speaking of disappearing...

"You're not worried a...bear is gonna come and get you then you do disappear, do you?" I joked.

"Hey, where are you taking me?" Julianne snapped back, her smile growing as she laughed with me. Her expression mellows down again playing with her thumbs as we drive through the winding road to home.

"Don't get so quiet now, we still have 30 minutes together."

"Well, what do you do in the city?"

"I meet with a few business associates there. They supply me the paint and other stock that sells well. There's 3 I go to. Then if I feel like it, I walk to Com-Foods' commissary to pick up some goodies before going home." I half lied.

"Com-Foods! I..I did go to the commissary today. I got...let's see..those chocolate marshmallows, ice gems, and chocolate chip cookies." She lit up. "What do you usually get?"

"Chocolate chip and butter cookies. Are you stocking up for a project..?"

She shook her head looking a little offended.

"Sure, but Christmas is almost here. Do the children go carolling around? And to serve as..quick gifts to some of the kind friends I've made so far.." The nervousness in her voice returns.

"Hopefully a lot more this year. After last year, lots of parents didn't want to take that risk right away. Only saw maybe 3 kids with their parents. Hey, you could give some to my friend's kids. I think they'll appreciate it."

She nods as she thinks of a reply. Nothing comes out. Her expression is confused trying to make up a story or a follow up but I hold her hand down.

"I was just teasing you. Do you want me to turn the heater up a bit?"

Those last 15 minutes were painfully dull. The radio could only slur out spasms of melodies as the weather got worse. Julianne filled those gaps with humming or thinking out loud. We parked behind her apartment building and walked in to everyone huddled in the common space. A few eyes followed us upstairs with suspecting glances. I settled her box down next to a shoe rack.

She whispered me thank you again before quickly running off to the kitchen. She came back a minute later holding a pair of scissors.

"Hey, don't run with that in your hand."

She ignored me scolding her to rip a line through the tape on the cardboard. She pulled out a bag of chocolate chip cookies and wordlessly placed it in my hands. She smiled at me again.

I grinned back. I don't know how I felt at that moment but it probably was not as intense as it was for her. I came home that night spending a longer time in the water wondering what that girl was doing to me.

Click.

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December 5th, 1987

Yes, I am well aware of the fact people have crushes on me. It's mostly innocent- but I'm usually uninterested. I don't do relationships like that until I consider it necessary. This is necessary. I can't stand being an object of pity. It isn't completely selfish either. She'll reap all the benefits of dating me in the end. I just want the attention away from my hands.

Yet if she's just a means to my end, why do I picture her smiling when open up the cookie jar? I try and redirect my mind somewhere else, and believe me, I nearly got it. I just nearly broke the jar. It is a sweet gesture though. My other suitors have done nothing other than talk. I can be bribed with a bag of Com-Foods chocolate chip though. Some people can just read me better.

My mind wanders back to the truck in those 15 minutes to the apartment building. The signals shift from Golden Apple's broadcast to the Woodbrook radio playing underground music. Julianne rambles quickly about an emerging art band that started a telephone service from their home studio. Each hour or so a new song plays through their answeing machine. One of their debut songs play between static and she softly sings to complete the puzzle. She tells me I should call it and I think of the telephone bill.

I'm transferring important numbers, dates, addresses, and sticky notes into this new journal. I can't help but preserve the last few pages though as they detail all the close encounters I've had with that cat: The day she moved into town, the first time she came into the shop, photos of the bare apartment, and information I've pulled out of her that might be important later on. Everything else is going into an open fire. Julianne begins to consume every thought  and decision I had and will have moving forward. In a desperation march to move my mind away from more petty violence or saintly canonization, it feels like I'm reaching out to take her, and flow her body down through a stream with mine. I could not figure out how to do it naturally though. I don't do well with romance. The last time I attempted it nineteen years ago blew up on my face and even up to now that relationship further rottens under the rug. Julianne is just so easy to please though. She's so young. Maybe it's her first shot at anything at all. She likes me. It's stupidly obvious.

I haven't been flattered to be liked like that in a long while.

She has this affection for almost anything she will lay her eyes on. I leave my heart blank or neutral to anything particularly sappy. Keep myself agreeable enough to be liked. It's just that excitement for everything that's slowly infecting my senses. The library has this gigantic poster with the names of stars and constellations. I find myself staring and reading it for seconds, maybe minutes more, memorizing the shapes and the titles. Imagine the look on her face when I could properly point to her where the hunter's belt is.

I'm not anchoring myself to her in any way. I promise.

387-6962.

The phone brrs for a moment until the click of a button is heard on the opposite side. A chalky sounding, music box-like melody plays gently.

Stormy pinkness

Human weakness

Fills my Johnny Cup with gloom

I smile a bit. It sounds like something she would say. The charm of such an unessential service shines like a golden ring amongst every other 800-number I've seen on TV.

Your progression

My digression

Forty days this afternoon

The things we cherish are small indeed

So much the larger the need

Stormy pinkness

Let me thanklessly free

Such is the sound of young love. It sounds like a night of slam poetry. A young man's voice on the other end thanks me for calling up their quirky service. In the stillness of the closed shop I listen on, hang up, and call again. It sounded nice. Like a tune you hear during a dance scene in a movie. Or the track you skip over in your favorite album. I don't consider looking at things I don't already like for other people. Julianne does have an interesting taste in music though. I don't mind it. At least that's another thing we can talk about next time.

Click.

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December 7th, 1987

Who am I kidding walking straight to Julianne's apartment building first thing in the morning today? I look suspicious to a lot of the residents there. I mean, they know me. They buy from me. The landlady sends me a basket every Easter. But the mere fact I was here yesterday for one thing and then again is enough to raise a brow at my intentions. Julianne left yesterday and hasn't returned. I don't know why I felt offended, maybe even sad at the thought of her gone. I was excited to tell her I called up that phone number she rambled on about.

I wish I had her number. There would be no middle ground or lobby to pass through to get to her. I was already making a spectacle of myself coming so often to the space.

I could not focus today. I was feigning between closing early and waiting outside the apartment or just giving up and going home. I was just begging to see her at this point. A glimpse of anything at all. My eyes out the window waiting for a taxi or someone wearing pink. I must be slipping out of it again. It's starting to get desperate. It's beginning to get dark.

I've been standing at the door for almost two hours now. My eyes are wide open. The silence begins to sound like static. I wait painfully, unable to move to show my face again to that lobby. I've been hoping..and hoping..and hoping..

Someone in white passes by.

They look up the sign and at the door and she yells.

"OH MY GOD! Oh, oh it's..hi Sam." She looks at me like I've been playing dead. I push the door open finally as the cold wind welcomes me outside.

"Crap, you..I mean, you look so pale. How long have you been like that?" She laughs at the absurdity of the situation.

"I just closed the store. I didn't mean to look so frozen in thought, it's just been happening to me a lot lately."

"Sounds like a lot's on your mind. Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head. I could barely get myself to focus. My eyes looks all over her form. The white dress with roses. It's a lot more formal than the spaghetti straps or frilly shirts. She looks lovelier this way. I don't know.

"Well..I'll take that as a no. Sorry. I'm just going home now."

"Do you want me to drive you back?" I urgently asked. My chest feels heavy. She purses her lips.

"Your house..I mean, the residential area is on the other end of town, you don't have to.."

"It's late, isn't it? Now get inside." My tone sounded almost like a command. Maybe I've secretly anticipated this to happen. Like a dream coming true. She comes to sit next to me again and we drive off to the red building at the edge of town.

"I..called that Dial A Song number two days ago." That sentence instantly lit her eyes up. She excitedly looks to me.

"Really? What song were they playing then?"

"I'm not sure. Stormy Pinkness. It sounded cute. Do they have other songs?"

Her hands toyed with each other with this bursting enthusiasm. She could not stop giggling all of a sudden.

"Oh I like that one..I've heard it maybe once on the phone and I do hope they put it on their new project..and..yes, they are working on a new album. But! Their debut album is still in circulation. You might find it in the kids' section though. Most of their songs have a bit of a morbid undertone that I really like."

"Okay. Did they change the song again like John promised today?"

"I haven't called. I didn't call. I met up with Marigold in Washington yesterday...it's my birthday today. We just had a catch up trip there.. Marigold is a work friend from..my old uh..office job."

I parked the truck a block away from the building to avoid being seen again.

"You should have told me earlier. Happy birthday, kitty."

"I'm 25 already. I'm not a kitty anymore." She hesitates before opening the door. She looks back and opens her mouth, mumbling out a question.

"Do you wanna.."

"Yes?"

"..Do you wanna call Dial A Song with me..right now? I-I also brought home some..sticky rice treats from my.."

And the moment after that, my body felt like it was acting out of its system. It followed her upstairs and into her room. I think I looked stupid to the women hanging around the lobby coming in with her at 9:28 pm but I just could not care less when I sat down on the floor with the receiver on my ear. I couldn't tell if that was an accordion or a trumpet. But her face is so close to mine as we shared the phone listening to it for the first time.

Hi this is John Flansburgh of They Might Be Giants. You're tuning into Dial A Song, your one way ticket to Brooklyn. Call back for another song tomorrow.

"What..what's your..telephone number?"

"Oh, it's 387-6962"

"No, your telephone." My embarrassment was resurfacing "I..I don't want them to get the wrong idea being with you all the time here."

Julianne's face softened with sadness. She carefully puts the phone down.

"I..I mean we..aren't that though. Yeah..It does look weird but I don't see it as weird at all." She whispers "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"No. I'm not. I don't know though because you do seem to lean towards a certain type. Woodbrook's safe and all but maybe you don't want to be seen with me and have it be interpreted another way."

She blushes. We lay down on the floor for a while until she reaches for a pad and scribbles down something.

"Thanks though. I don't mind being seen with you. Here's my number. You can take home as much malagkit as you like."

She slides the pad between my fingers and rests her palm on my knuckles.

"I could tell you like me though. You're a bit obvious."

"What?"

I pocket the paper as I walk away. I look back to her before I close the door.

"I'll call them again tomorrow. Goodnight, Julianne."

What is that woman doing to me...

Click.

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December 11th, 1987

The Bijou Theatre hasn't received any new blockbusters to premiere. Most of whatever is out at the moment in the cities is being reserved for Christmas week. They're bringing out their collection from earlier in the decade. Annie is playing from today until December 22nd. I've seen the movie once. I couldn't tell you anything other than it's a musical and it takes your mind off of work. I could also tell you Julianne is obsessed with the film. She has a tape of the movie displayed on her work shelf. She said it was her favorite movie during college and comforted her when she came to America. We could watch the movie on her TV set any time but I think I owe it to her as a birthday gift or a pacifier after making her feel bad nights ago. It's like the perfect excuse fell right into my lap. Right before walking to work, I called her telephone hoping she'd be awake by now. Thankfully someone picked up.

"Mmh..Julianne Lucky here, good morning."

"Hi, Julianne."

.

"Oh, ah..hiya Sam. How are you?" I could almost see her flushed face from here.

.

"Just about to go to work. I heard Bijou Theatre is gonna screen Annie tomorrow."

.

"A-Annie? The..the John Huston adaptation?"

.

"Think that's it. The little orphan poodle."

.

"Oh man, I guess I have to go then. It's been a bit rough lately, I need to watch it again." She overshares.

.

"I know. Would the lady of the house be busy tomorrow evening?"

.

"Ah..uhm..oh gosh..I don't think so. Sam, are you?"

.

"No, I can close the store early. Will you come watch it with me?"

.

"Well..if you don't mind then. Yes! Yes I will. If you aren't embarrassed to see me."

.

"I'm not, I promise I'm not. If it'd help I can pick you up at the apartment, or--"

.

"Let's just meet in front of Bijou, okay?" Her voice was breathy with excitement. "Thank you. I..I'll see you."

She hangs up the phone. The contagious feeling of young love streams from the telephone cord. I lean back on the door silently after putting the phone down. Oh. She said yes. I'm doing it. I'm running headfirst into the forest and not looking back. She said yes. The invitation alone was already so dizzying. It feels different inviting a stranger to a movie. For a moment I lost sight of why I was even persuing it in the first place. Maybe after tomorrow I'll be back to how I usually feel about big romantic gestures like these but I stood there for a moment with my forehead in my hand. Imagining. Dreaming of it.

She likes me.

And that's enough for the lamb to curiously look into the trap.

Click.

[somepsychopomp]

binge watched all of scavengers reign in one sitting! I have many thoughts, though they all feel jumbled up right now. I think the show starts off VERY strong but faces some pretty significant writing challenges as it progresses. Basically my opinion is:

episodes 1-6: an absolute triumph of imagination and environmental storytelling. They have genuinely some of the best ideas for alien life I've ever seen. The human characters are also all interesting, too. Azi and Levi were my favorite plot line but I really relished in how our first glimpse of Kamen is this sad, lonely malnourished man slowly starving to death in a tree... only to be revealed as a violent selfish asshole who genuinely gets what he deserves as the story progresses.

side note- I'm also a huge fan of the weird plant(?) that basically clones living beings and makes The Thing(s). Also Levi is probably the most compelling character in the entire show.

episodes 7-10: I enjoyed episodes 7-10 and maybe 11 so little that i considered giving up on the show in its entirety. To me, this segment dropped the show from like a 8.5/10 to a 4/10 or even lower. They were such an unenjoyable slog to get through imo (no hard feelings on anyone who liked them tho) because of the small crew of new characters we meet. No surprise you're not supposed to like or trust them, but the show just seemed unwilling to commit to them being actually evil or arguably sympathetic characters just trying to survive their own hostile situation, and kinda waffles between the two possibilities.

I guess that's the attempt at a gray area/morally gray characterization but I just fucking hated all of them and they meant nothing to me. Also it really, genuinely feels like the show speed ran Kamen's arc and completely ran out of ideas on where to take his character from here on out. Which is a bummer considering he's the type of character you absolutely love to hate.

And I'm so, so sorry, but I felt nothing when Sam died. TO MY DEFENSE, I can articulate why! Basically, out of all the characters on the show aside from arguably Kamen, Sam gets beaten up the most. He gets his blood sucked during the early storm, then gets wounded by the freaky cloning plant and almost dies from that, and then almost dies from getting buried alive, AND THEN gets implanted with the parasite from that mysterious lady. The best way I can put it is that his character just made me feel fatigued. His situation wasn't the kind where a protagonist suffers injury after injury but gets up anyways via sheer will/desire to complete their goal/what have you (Mizu from Blue Eye Samurai is a good recent example from adult animation who embodies this trope well, for example).

In contrast, Sam just spends too long on the brink of death for the stakes to feel high anymore. He also does nothing to improve his own condition, relying entirely on Ursula, which I think robs him of his agency and depth. In fact, I spent so long prepared to mourn him, kinda expecting him to not survive the planet, that when the time finally came, I already expressed all my emotions and detached myself from his character. I will say that at the very least, I did like his actual death scene and felt it was nicely done and paced.

episodes 11-12: Perfectly fine finale, I had no major problems with it but these episodes just didn't quite hit the highs of the first half of the series. Will say tho, Levi turbo blasting the Hollow was perfect. Love that for them.

Overall, I think I'll have to rewatch the show again when it's not late at night and I have all my wits about me. Maybe I'll change my opinion on it, because I really, REALLY want to like it in its entirety and will absolutely watch a second season if/when it comes out because, despite all its flaws, Scavengers Reign is something genuinely special.

The first half of the series feels like lightning in a bottle and MUST be seen by all sci fi and fantasy fans!! Even though everything is intensely organic and raw, the planet also has this strange biomechanical feel to it, from the shrapnel wind storm to the big triangle-head birds with electric/static feathers to all the animals that look like statues or toys but still live and breathe. It's such a unique take on an alien world and it was beautiful to see.

[traintrainingmontage]

Skarloey Appreciation Essay: Interpersonal Intelligence

I know that I still have several ficlet ideas to write, but instead, have an analysis. This one's about Skarloey, mostly because he's my absolute favorite, but also because there's a lot to say about him. This is primarily based off of the Railway Series and Model Series seasons 1-5, since they're what I'm most familiar with (although it's been a while since watching the show, so please pardon me if I miss anything from that perspective).

For this analysis, I want to briefly mention how the various sagely characters excel in different types of intelligence. Some know a lot about the world and are happy to share their knowledge (Edward), while others are highly experienced and have that experience to fall back on when trying to guide and help others (Toby). However, out of all of them, I would argue that it's Skarloey who has the best interpersonal intelligence, in that he's great at creating healthy relationships between himself and others, and by extension, maintaining a measure of relative peace on his railway.

(There's also an Edward Appreciation Essay for you all to enjoy!)

Interpersonal intelligence is defined as "the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives" (University of Tennessee).

To start, I'd like to give some examples of how Skarloey is good at this. Skarloey is a "do no harm, but take no shit" kind of character. When done well, this kind of character tends to be highly compelling. (In fact, Toby could also be classified in this way, albeit differently flavored.) Some Skarloey-specific examples include:

-Skarloey scolding the coaches after they sabotage Sir Handel (Old Faithful). Skarloey essentially scolds them for endangering the passengers, and when they try to blame Sir Handel, Skarloey's not having it. What's particularly notable is that he doesn't take sides here; he doesn't validate the coaches' feelings nor does he defend Sir Handel. Instead, he focuses on their professionalism, and the coaches really don't have anything to say in their defence.

-Building on the previous point, this whole event, especially with Skarloey pushing himself on the passengers' behalf, resonates with Sir Handel. It ends with Sir Handel thinking that "Skarloey is the best engine in the world," which is high praise coming from an engine that referred to Skarloey as "rubbish" in his debut (Sir Handel). It's almost a shame that Skarloey left for six years to be mended, as if he'd stayed, a number of Sir Handel's more overbearing qualities might have been ironed out sooner.

-Skarloey's own character growth is also on full display in terms of the way he treats others. The worst comeback he actually has in the RWS, toward anybody, is when he says to Sir Handel that all respectable engines want to work, and then immediately follows that up with advice for Peter Sam (Peter Sam and the Refreshment Lady). Every other time another engine says something rude or ridiculous, Skarloey says nothing and winks at some other engine, or keeps it to himself ("Rusty told Duncan about the bad bit of line, and warned him to be careful. 'Huh!' he grunted, 'I know my way about, thank you! I don't need smelly Diesels to tell me what to do.' Rusty looked hurt. 'Never mind,' said Skarloey, 'you've done your best.' He said no more, but he thought a great deal.") (Rock n' Roll). He's come a long way from the hot-tempered engine who threw petty insults at Rheneas (Stick-in-the-Mud).

-Skarloey delivers lessons in ways that aren't just "you shouldn't do this because I said so." This way of giving advice to headstrong engines often gets ignored, as seen when other sagely engines try it. Instead, he takes a more cunning approach, as seen by his tactic of goading Sir Handel into facing off against George (Steam-roller). There are other engines who are cunning, certainly (just look at Donald and Douglas, or some key Thomas moments), but they don't really try to pit other engines against each other. The only other one who does in a notable way is Diesel, and he's not really protagonist material for most of the series.

In this case, the other engines (let's be real, it's Peter Sam and Duncan) are fed up with Sir Handel's boasting, so they tease him. However, he just shrugs them off. By contrast, Skarloey recognizes that trying to be straightforward won't work, so he decides to appeal to Sir Handel's pride in the hopes that he and George might teach each other a lesson. It's a strategy that ends up working exceedingly well, and also doesn't undermine his standing with Sir Handel himself. Honestly, Skarloey can be a little bit devious and that's such a fun character trait (it shows up again when Skarloey just doesn't tell the others that Culdee's Godred story is made up (Bad Look-out), choosing to let them stew and perhaps be a little more mindful of their behavior, and those moments are some of my favorites).

-Skarloey earnestly compliments others when they do well. He's incredibly grateful to Rusty for fixing the track, and tells him so. He speaks earnestly about Rheneas, and compliments Culdee upon hearing about his railway. Not a lot of other characters do this unless under duress or when they feel bad for taking things too far! In fact, tying into this point is that Skarloey doesn't kick others when they're down (see above), and stops the other engines' teasing when it gets out of hand (Peter Sam and the Prickly Problem).

There are certainly other examples of Skarloey's excellent character (one of my favorite character traits of his is how he owns up to his mistakes and even talks about them as proof of how he's grown instead of trying to hide shameful moments from his past, making him more relatable), but I'll instead pivot to why he's my go-to for a shining star of interpersonal intelligence by comparing him to some of the fandom's other favorite sages.

-Edward is probably the most wholesome character in the whole series. He's kind, he's giving, he doesn't complain, and you just want the best for him. However, he's also been worn down by life to an extent. His coworkers are often rude to him for no reason, even while they begrudgingly respect him, and unlike Skarloey, who is undoubtedly the moodmaker on his railway, Edward simply isn't; Gordon is. While I feel bad that Edward is treated this way, I also can't help but wish that Edward would have stood up for himself and others more, particularly in the early days when the railway's culture was still being figured out, because everyone on the NWR always has something to prove. It's super fulfilling when Edward proves his worth and shows that not only is he still useful, but that he has an unmatched will. However, while letting his actions speak for themselves is great, all he's really done is prove that he too can still run with the young'uns. He's earned their respect in terms of his abilities, but not their respect for his authority as an experienced engine with good advice to give, or their respect as an equal, really. He's a coworker who's shown that he can handle his work, but his opinion doesn't hold as much weight as theirs.

Perhaps part of this is that Gordon is a physically larger engine with an ego to match (after all, size DOES matter in the inherent engine pecking order, and the Skarloey Railway engines are all the same size so that's much less of an issue). Perhaps it's that Edward simply isn't confrontational, and would rather just let a lot of this slide. Perhaps another part of it is that the NWR just has so many more engines now and without that groundwork, it's very unlikely that the railway's culture can be changed at this point without a lot of effort from multiple engines. However, everybody constantly picking at each other's old wounds and feeling defensive all the time does not lend itself to a kind railway. Edward just doesn't stop that nonsense in its tracks the way Skarloey does, and he doesn't really come to the defense of some of the smaller engines. He moreso manages the fallout and is a counselor for the others, reactive but not necessarily proactive. Edward is a kind, nice character, and I absolutely adore that about him, but he often comes across as just rolling with the punches or being a shoulder to cry on for the others instead of taking a proactive role in setting the other engines straight. (To be fair, what he needed most was James or Henry having a character arc that would let them get out of the shadows of their inferiority to Gordon or their own selves/circumstances and back Edward up more often so that people actually heeded and respected his advice, but that's hardly Edward's fault.)

-Toby, on the other hand, takes no shit from anybody and will bite you if you give him grief. That's also a great character trait, but it has the side-effect of making him difficult to get along with. He's filled with great advice, but the other, haughtier engines don't want to listen so Toby doesn't want to give it; he's happy to watch them fail abysmally and come crawling back. I absolutely love Toby as a character, but these kinds of people are rather difficult to get along with in real life. I find that Toby and Duck are particularly similar in this regard; they don't take shit from the other engines, but come off as more prickly for it. Everyone except their closest friends are coworkers at best, and so they also don't necessarily improve the vibes of the railway as a whole. Toby and Edward are two ends of the spectrum, two extremes in this regard.

Thus, to me at least, it's Skarloey who wins out in terms of being the most interpersonally intelligent sage character, who makes his railway a good place to be for everybody on it. He uses a couple of different strategies to help other engines see sense, whether it's being straightforward with them, using a story as an example, or cajoling them a little bit. He scolds others when necessary, but doesn't use their shame as ammunition and doesn't tear them down. People may not like the story "Pop" Special because it makes Duncan seem too nice, but I like it in the sense that it shows how decades of being around people who are good to you and treat you well can lead to an insular, angry person becoming kinder and more thoughtful. Who made that the culture on the railway and enforced it? Skarloey.

Like I said at the start, this analysis is limited to the Railway Series and Model Series seasons 1-5, so I'd love to hear others' opinions on what I've put forth here. I hope you enjoyed; ficlets to come soon(-ish)!

[fish-bowl-2]

what are 3 of your favorite quotes/lines from each of the eds?

This has been sitting in my inbox for a hot while. At first because I was busy and going to answer it later, and then because I forgot about it (so sorry).

Anyway, this is hard! There are so many good lines in the show, and that is just from the main three cast. I'm going to highlight some lines that I have been replaying in my head most frequently.

Ed: - "Awww. Kitty cat go meow?" - I think about this SO much. It is so funny. Not only is it a good example of the wordplay in Ed's dialogue, but I love how self-aware it is too. Love seeing him rightfully cocky. He's not wrong that Edd spends most of his time, as my dad would say, "bitchin' and moanin'". - " Hey! Slow down, partner!" - Idk I think it is a very cute reaction to Edd attempting physical violence. It is a very older sibling response lmao - "Shhhh! My yeast is rising." - Lots to like here. Classic line, comes out of nowhere, makes absolutely no sense with or without context. Can't get better than this.

Edd: - "Eddy PLEASSSE. I'm counting the sugar!" - It is so silly. The delivery and Edd's expression kills me. I'm a big fan of the kind of raspy whisper Sam Vincent applied to season 1 Edd. It is very cute imho - "IS THAT THE SUPPORT BEAM TO THE HOUSE?!?!?" - Classic. I also like it when Edd is hysterically screaming. - "...but...how could it be? My computations were precise, rigorous, and painstaking, um. This goes beyond science, Eddy. An unfathomable force sends us a clear message!" - I also like Edd's tendency to go on long-winded speeches. It doesn't have its full effect without visuals, since the character acting adds so much. Edd is such a horrendous liar (same).

Eddy: - "Did you see the sparkle in Johnny's eye? Stop me boys, I'm getting frilly!" - Yeah yeah this is low-hanging fruit, whatever. Does not take away from my reaction upon seeing that episode for the first time. I practically died. - "OH, IS THAT SO? AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? MISTER I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT KEVIN KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT MY MAGAZINES?" - It is hard to take dialogue from Eddy and NOT think "wow much to unpack". What is his deal here? I mean, I have my own ideas, but I'm not going to make this list longer than it already is. - "Running out of ideas, Double Dee. Think of something that would make me look good." - He sounds so downtrodden : ( reading the dialogue alone doesn't give that impression, but, in the actual scene, Tony makes the delivery sound super genuine, which is a rare expression for Eddy. I appreciate that decision a lot.

[risingphoenix761]

for the spn asks… 3, 8, 9 and 20 👻

🥳

3. If you could wield an angel blade or the Colt, which would you pick?

Angel blade. I don't like guns in general, and the Colt doesn't even work as advertised. An angel blade, on the other hand, is not a mythical weapon that'll make me a target just by having it, and it will kill things the Colt can't. It can also be melted down into bullets that work just as well as the blade itself, as demonstrated in season 8 and I'm still annoyed that it's never brought up again. Nobody ever appreciated Crowley.

8. Crowley or Lucifer: who's the better antagonist?

Aside from one being my #1 fave character ever and the other being my least favorite character of the series, I think Lucifer is underwhelming overall and only gets more irritating the more he's utilized. He's at his best in season 5, even if his role as a villain is standard good vs. evil. As far as later appearances go, I like Casifer because Misha makes him interesting. Any other time, he's more of a nuisance than a serious threat and the writing often undercuts previous plot points and characterizations to justify his inclusion. I also can't stand Mark Pellegrino, so there's that.

Crowley, on the other hand, is always interesting because you never doubt him as a threat and can't predict what he'll do next. Even when he's not the antagonist, he's always toeing the line between "necessary but questionable" and "good guys aren't allowed to do that." The standoff with Sam in season 10 always sticks in my mind because, even though he's currently siding with the Winchesters, there's that moment of doubt when you wonder if he's actually going to kill Sam or not. (I mean, you know he's not, but you barely have to suspend your disbelief.) Season 8 is my favorite largely because I love him as an antagonist.

9. What song from Supernatural's soundtrack always gets stuck in your head?

It doesn't necessarily get stuck, but I can't listen to "One Way Or Another" without picturing Sam and Dean oh so cautiously making their way through the crowd of random accidents and near misses after Balthazar messes with the timeline.

20. If you could bring one Supernatural character back to life, who would it be?

My first answer will always be Crowley, but I'm trying not to be too biased. Either Charlie or Kevin, in that case. Even the cast agrees Charlie's death was stupid and unnecessary, and Kevin's fate by the end of the show is also stupid and unnecessary. You can say that about a lot of deaths on this show, but these two bug me the most.

[kelzebub]

3, 2, 1, go favorite ZR missions and moments from the first two seasons or the 5k training prequel

Well, I'm sick and avoiding my family (so I don't spread germs... and because I honestly have no energy for them right now lol) so I'm finally getting to this.

My favorite ZR missions from way back in s1 and 2? Man, everyone's favorite is obviously A Voice in the Dark and I'm not immune to it. I love it too. But another that really sticks with me is s1m15, Virtuous Circle. On the surface it's silly: oh sure, let's risk Runner Five's life for a dumb game she's not even interested in playing, that doesn't even really matter when survival is at stake.

Turns out, Runner Five had a lot to learn. And by Runner Five, of course, I mean me.

When you're young, you think that people in their 30s and 40s are old, and that we either have everything figured out, or that we know nothing. Neither of those are true (unless you're talking about Knowing in the Socratic sense) - we're actually always learning, always growing, and always able to be influenced if we allow ourselves. And this app has taught me some things even at my advanced age, so bear with my ancient crone ramblings here, especially since I'm sick and fuzzy-headed.

First off, fun is important. Sam and Maxine talk about morale, but they're really onto something. We really do need fun to thrive. We need art, music, games, dancing, stories, whatever, in order to feel human and enjoy life. It looks a little different for everyone. Maybe your idea of fun is meticulously lining up columns of numbers on an Excel spreadsheet, maybe it's wild parties full of drugs and sex that go on all night, or one of millions of other things people do - but it really matters that you have something you enjoy in life. In short, without fun, we get sick, both mentally and physically.

Secondly, We don't just need it as individuals. We need it collectively. Humans need bonding not just over the bad times - not just taking care of each other when we're sick or working together to survive - but good times too. Otherwise social dynamics get messed up. There's cliques and squabbles and gossip and all kinds of bad feelings, and groups fall apart, even erupt into violence in some cases, but generally it's just like... have you ever had a job where nobody has a sense humor? Or have you had a teacher, as a little kid, who never let the class have time to play?

Third, and this is a me thing, I spent years unpacking this internalized sort of shame that comes from being a geeky person with geeky interests. I got picked on relentlessly in school, it was really horrendous, probably because I was an undiagnosed neurodivergent girl whose family lived in poverty to boot, but I had this shame and embarrassment attached to some of my geekier interests for so, so long. This app had a medical doctor expressing interest in a tabletop RPG, and making it like this thing that everyone was into - it's mainstream in Abel - and I realized, that's real life. I'm an adult now and have been for years. I can like whatever I want and it's not even weird, and if it is weird, nobody cares. In fact, being open about my interests has helped me find out who shares them - not like when I was a kid going on a forum where the only common interest was that one thing, but with people I knew and liked already in real life, going "omg, me too!"

It was the final piece of the puzzle I needed after years of working on unraveling that sense of shame, even with geeky friends IRL and a successful career and kids. Now? I absolutely rock my Doctor Who scarf that I knit myself, I sometimes play D&D with my husband and kids, and most importantly - tying all of the above together - I realized that I had to prioritize fun and enjoyment in my own life and my family's lives. So I did, and it's made a real difference for all of us.

I was in therapy at the same time I started playing ZR, so it's not like I'm giving the app all the credit! My therapist and I worked hard too. But this episode, man, it really had a lot packed into it. I thought about the concept of a virtuous circle a lot, discussed it with my therapist, and tried to embrace the philosophy - and I'm better off for it.

And I just sort of realized that today. So, thank you for asking. And for reading, if you've made it this far.

[unholy-fabray]

💕💚💔? –hevanderson

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like? Hmm Puckleberry? I think their voices sound good together, they had some hilarious lines and interactions, and Rachel's ruthless self-centeredness + Puck's lack of morals has some wild potential yfm.... I also love Puckleberry bromance in fanfics

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character? Seeing as how my favorite character is Quinn Fabray, so much lmao 💀 I might be preaching to the choir here, but many viewers can't seem to read past the show's framing of her as a super selfish megabitch and see how freaking scared and uncomfortable she is most of the time. Quinn's surrounded by immense social pressure and little-to-no real friendship or unconditional support. She's certainly an antagonist, don't get me wrong - but often a sympathetic and compelling one.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose? Ohh this is a tough one... Post-season 1 Shelby because she's heinous and a scourge to humanity OR Ryder because I never felt like he had much impact on the story or a strong presence on screen and pretty much all his tropes we had already seen before (except for his SA subplot with Kitty - that actually meant a lot to me).

Sam also felt like a repeat of tropes that had already been filled by Finn (quarterback, teen boy with a heart of gold, etc.) and Brittany ("dumb blonde", neurodivergent af, etc.) HOWEVER I really love Sam and feel like he had a stronger presence on the show, so...

[cdroloisms]

5, 9, 16 for the ask game!

5. What do you think is the most character-defining c!Dream scene?

vassalvassalvassalvassalvassal--

I think. In terms of moments that actually ummm are the most telling of his character in general, vassal wouldn't necessarily be my choice. But in terms of impact on his character, god, is there anything more defining? If we are talking about c!Dream and the villain persona and every single action defined upon that as a foundation, you HAVE to talk about vassal. If we're talking about c!Dream and c!Tommy and the moment that truly set their roles in stone, it has to be Vassal. Vassal is what leads to c!Dream who "does everything for chaos" in November 16th, vassal is what led to a c!Dream who stood alone after Wilbur's death, vassal is what led to the breakdown at the end of Pogtopia that was the driving force behind all of his actions to put himself in prison, vassal is where he gives Wilbur the TNT, Wilbur who he intentionally echoes in Doomsday. If you make a list of c!Dream's standpoints on a variety of L'manburg related issues, not only is c!Wilbur the common thread between any changes in viewpoint he expresses, but Vassal is as well. Everything in season 1b is, in a lot of ways, The Fallout after season 1a, obviously, but also more specifically Pogtopia and especially the vassal conversation.

Dream acting in Wilbur's service at the same time that he resigns himself to play his role in service to The Lmanburg Narrative DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR ME--

okay. i'm normal again

9. How do you headcanon c!Dream's appearance? Does it ever change?

Funniest part of this ask is that like, 2 years ago, I literally made a series of c!Dream portraits literally about this. I'd say that my designs have probably changed some since but I'll throw them here bc they're relevant:

(+1 plus the post-prison one I made as an update:

I don't have the strongest opinions on his appearance besides. Normal guy. Human. I tend to draw him with straighter hair, which is kinda funny to me--armor + mask usually, especially later on in the story. I tend to flip between wanting his appearance to have more obvious marks from the torture versus less so (I do love myself the horror of healing potions can literally heal everything so I play with that sometimes) but I definitely like a gaunter appearance post-prison. I do have a degree of preference for prettyboy c!Dream, because I think it plays with the whole dehumanization + mask thing in a fun way as well as how a lot of people on the server who see him + his power as a threat think that their best means of dealing with him is through subjugation + taking his power by force + making him their bitch.

16. What's your favorite c!Dream headcanon?

Ooooh that's a hard one...hmmmm. Mostly hard because I can't recall literally anything on demand. To Be Fair. Idk, maybe along the lines of the original Disc Wars (now that we've had both c!Dream and c!Tommy refer to those times as being much more lighthearted compared to later conflicts) there have always been a few conflicts where, in the spirit of the whole prank war nonsense that originally inhabited that first "war," I've been a fan of the idea of c!Dream going easy on c!Tommy and c!Tubbo (mostly because at the time I was preeeetty sure cc!Dream was going easy on them at a few points, the whole conflict with the ender chest being a standout. Like okay Tommy Just So Happened to craft the ender chest JUUUUUUUUUST in time. Mmhm. Sure..)

But for a later one bc it's the only thing my head is giving me, probably that c!Dream was high as fuck in the c!Bad prison stream. Those potatoes were not clean Sam and you know it 🙄

[samwhump]

for wincest wednesday what are your fave fanfic tropes w wincest

this was from two wincest wednesdays ago but I am an epic fail piece of shit who is only answering it now. I AM SO SORRY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK <33333

I read an alarming amount of wincest fic lmfao - I could probably go on about this for seventy thousand years or so. but I'll try to keep it short(ish? welp.) by only doing my top five. or really, like...five tropes that I really love. idk if this even counts as a "top" list, bc I have so many that I can't say for sure what the order would look like, and I don't care to stress over it, lol.

in no particular order:

hurt/comfort of COURSE. if this was not #1 in my heart I would not have earned the samwhump dot tumblr dot com username. at any given time my brain is 98% Sam getting tortured (mentally? physically? sexually? emotionally? ALL OF THE ABOVE?? why didn't you say so???) and Dean comforting him as best as he knows how (which is usually like......not that well, lbr, but that's okay, that makes the angst even better)

mutual pining!!!!

time travel AUs. honestly, I can't think of a flavor of this that I wouldn't read, but my very most favorite is emotionally destroyed/heavily traumatized post-Cage late seasons Sam meeting young/brash early seasons Dean who vacillates between being thrilled that his Sammy chose to stay and hunt with him after all and horrified at what could have happened to Sam to change the headstrong baby brother he knows so well. (huge shoutouts to @according2thelore's time travel ficlets featuring early seasons Dean and Sam living with later seasons Dean and Sam in the bunker. sooooo fucking incredible. some of my all-time comfort reads.)

along those lines, Croatoan!verse Dean being transported to main timeline-land and being all fucked up over getting to Sam alive and whole and not Lucifer-possessed. bonus points for the two Deans getting all bitchy and jealous at each other.

idk if this counts as a trope, necessarily, but just like...casefics that take place in the early seasons and are just Sam, Dean, and the Impala cruisin' around the country and fuckin' shit up while they also fuck each other. like...porny road trip fic, I guess? like...it gets me all gooey and achey and ahhhh my shriveled gremlin heart loves their love.

ADDENDUM: I had to add a sixth one bc I cannot believe I forgot this but like. fix-it AUs!!! for things that I PERSONALLY think need fixing!!! voicemail fix-its, Samulet fix-its, Dean not throwing Cas into the nearest drainage ditch when he broke the Wall of Sam fix-its!!! these I love and need in my life. because I get horrible anxiety thinking about the things that the show did not address that I Need addressed in order to continue as a person in this world. ok.

[iantimony]

tuesday again

late in the day again this week because i spend so many fucking hours today in errands and waiting around. literally awful. totally fucked up my meal schedule and even worse i did No Work today because of it. im so fucked

listening: whatever i have on my phone. mostly fallow, nothing new. oh i guess the new sammy rae single is alright sammy rae and the friends - no rulebook. (coming home song is still my favorite out of the singles released for this new album)

reading: wikipedia page on fasciation

interview with dashcon creator

(some of) this article on body cams for cops and how it's all bad all the way down forever

new goya found! it's haunted

some french horn articles (1) (2) because i need a new mouthpiece and have never bought one before, the one i have is over a decade old and i stole it from my high school band director, it's not even branded and there's exposed brass on the mouth part now which is very uncomfortable...and i wouldn't be surprised if my dogshit mouthpiece has been impacting my progression with the instrument...but also mouthpieces are So expensive and have So many little details (rim diameter thickness and contour, throat size, shank length, etc) that can differ and i have No Fucking Idea what will work best for me. i think i have settled on getting a laskey 75g because it's not too expensive and someone on reddit said it was a good starting point. lmfao.

and finally, an article about interview with the vampire season 2 costume design choices

watching: as you may have guessed from my last reading article, i finished interview with the vampire season 2. i had so much fun watching this show. my god. very excited to see sam reid eat up the scenery as rockstar lestat next year. more emma/made in the moment, reacting to crochet hot takes 1 and 2.

playing: started playing some minecraft again! my friend b has a friend who has a modded minecraft server up and i was like. fuck it. i want to mined some craftz. i haven't done much yet - basically just installed a new mod launcher and made sure i could actually access the server - but things look really cool and fun and im excited. many mods.

making: crocheting normal-ass granny squares like from a few weeks ago (the multicolored ones, not the yellow). just something to keep my hands busy waiting in line at the bank, etc.

eating: boyfriend made a DELICIOUS shrimp curry thing. so fucking good. unfortunately No Recipe because he's just like that

misc: i'm starting to get really stressed about my research stuff simply Not Working. like it's plateaued again in a bad spot and i know i just have to keep pushing it through it but i'm just. ugh. really really stressed about it. i wanted to do my preliminary exam in august but now i'm not sure if that's doable and i REALLY wanted to try getting it done before my hectic travel fall started...and i don't want to push it off further than early spring because after that it will start delaying my graduation. fml. grad school not even once etc

[thatfanfictiongirl76]

Supernatural Time Travel Rec

I actually finished this rec a year ago, but forgot to post it. Anyway, Supernatural was the first fandom to get me into the time travel trope. So I’ve been “mining” Supernatural time travel fics for over a decade now. So here are all my favorites. Enjoy!

It's All in the Details

By: Colleen

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7002492/1/It-s-All-in-the-Details

Summary: When Dean goes to sell his soul at the crossroads to bring Sam back, someone else steps in to negotiate the deal. Cas did get a sign and it sent him off into the past to change things. AU from "The Man Who Would Be King" and "All Hell Breaks Loose."

My Comments: This is a WIP and it hasn't been updated since May of 2016, so it is abandoned, but I still think that this is worth your time. The basic premise of this is Castiel from the season 6 episode “The Man Who Would Be King” travels back to the end of season two. So it is a rewrite of season 3 and 4. But it still is mainly original work and I promise that you will love it. This is probably the best Supernatural fanfiction I've ever read, and that's saying something. I can promise you that it will not be a waste of your time. Somebody uploaded this work on AO3, which I will link down below, however it was originally posted on ff.net, which is linked above. You do need an account to access the AO3 link, just so you know.

Status: Incomplete 

Last Update: 5/16/16

Length: 184,265 words

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36412555

Fraternity Series

By: Fiachra Ochiem

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2453464

Summary (for Jump in the Fire): John Winchester is hunting a witch (at least a witch is his best lead so far) in Missouri while his boys are on spring break. When he gets into trouble, a new hunter comes to help, a man he's never met before with floppy hair and familiar eyes.

My Comments: The summary up above is from the first fic in the series. This is a really good series! They are set somewhere near the end of season 8 (you'll find out how). You really only need to know about the trials to read this fic. It's a really good read, and I like how it kind of gives a background on some things in the show. I love what John thinks "Seth" is at the end of this series. I do wish there was a continuation fic about John and "Seth," but that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Status: Complete

Length (Whole Series): 65,213 words

Ff.net:

Jump in the Fire -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9708706/1/Jump-In-the-Fire

Creeping Death -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9818284/1/Creeping-Death

Fight Fire with Fire --https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9927971/1/Fight-Fire-with-Fire

The End of the Line -- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10086182/1/The-End-of-the-Line

Face to Face With the Skies

By: Quiddative

http://archiveofourown.org/works/587057/chapters/1055298

Summary: Castiel was not killed by Raphael on the night of Lucifer's release. Instead, he's sent to the year 1996 and encounters the Winchesters. Unable to return to the present, Castiel resigns himself to traveling with them on their hunts across the states. Meanwhile, in the year 2008, Dean has barely gotten used to being back in the land of the living when he gets the biggest shock of his life; the man he fell in love with when he was 18 has seemingly come back from the grave as well, claiming to be an angel of the Lord. The thing is, he doesn't have a clue who Dean is.

My Comments: This fic is actually the first Destiel fic that I ever read, and god is it a good one. I found this fic when looking for time travel fanfictions. I really love how it shows past Dean, and current Dean and the differences and similarities between both of them and how Cas fell in love with each of them. I highly recommend giving this fic a read! I promise that you’ll love it!!!

Status: Complete

Length: 42,168 words

Back to Infinite

By: Toneskis

https://toneskis.livejournal.com/4599.html

Summary: Revenge isn’t always aimed at those who deserve it.

My Comments: So this is a really good time travel fanfiction. It's a bit heartbreaking, but still really well written. The demons in this fic is an interesting concept. I think that this fic was written back in either season two or season three so it doesn’t really match up to canon. But the two things I really like about these fics are Bobby and John. I really like how it shows their relationship. I promise you will enjoy this one. 

Status: Complete

Length: 13,019 words

Look Back in Anger

By: Vailkagami

http://archiveofourown.org/works/268671

Summary: When John Winchester is possessed by the yellow-eyed demon and asks his son to kill him, Sam does so and disappears, leaving his injured brother behind in a hospital. As a result of the demon’s early death, deals are never made. A lot of bad things never happen - but Dean doesn’t know that. All he knows is that Sam killed his father and abandoned him.

My Comments: The original summary was longer, but I thought that this worked better. So this is a really good time travel fanfiction. It is set in both season 6 and the end of season 1. It is from Dean’s POV which is interesting. I would highly recommend this fic.

Status: Complete

Length: 24,157 words

Secure the Blessing

By: Rahmi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/639267

Summary: Sam makes a wish. Dean is not pleased.

My Comments: So this was written during season 2, so it obviously doesn’t match up with Canon, but it’s still a really good fic. I really like how it depicts how it would be for Dean to relive his life all over again. Not to mention that this fic was just flat out hilarious. And I really like how it depicted John and how with Mary living he would have turned out.

Status: Complete

Length: 21,364 words

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/34311

Sequels:  Up Ahead (The Roads Were Closed) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/672311

  The Back of the Storm --https://archiveofourown.org/works/672331

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5546226/1/Secure-the-Blessing

Ff.net Up Ahead: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5604609/1/Up-Ahead

Ff.net The Back of the Storm: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5615642/1/The-Back-of-a-Storm

Rewritten

By: Fangirl-Jess

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11791668/1/

Summary: Sam was having a tough day as it is, trying to cure your demon brother while he’s trying to kill you wasn’t enough, now he’s in 2006 with his brother just after their father’s deal and death; before many more deaths; before Cas and the angels; before the cage; before the apocalypse; before Dean’s deal. Will Sam and Dean try to change the future?

My Comments: This is a nice short time travel fanfiction. It’s an okay read if you like time travel fanfictions. Also I wasn’t able to subtract the author’s notes from the original word count, so it may be a bit different.

Status: Complete

Length: 7,670 words

I Have Stood Here Once Before

By: Stangerine

https://stangerine88.livejournal.com/54392.html

Summary: Centuries into the future, the world has ended. Neither Heaven nor Hell have come out victorious as the last human soul is wiped from the war-ravaged Earth. In a fit of desperate rebellion, Castiel goes back to the start, back to November 2nd, 2005 to prove once and for all the people make their own destinies. Only fate’s a fickle bitch when you try to pull one over on her and Castiel finds himself in a time in which Sam Winchester is a far cry from the hardened hunter of his memory.

My Comments: So this is a Sam/Castiel fic, but despite that it is still a pretty good fic. I like how it shows it from John and Dean’s POV too, which I actually loved. The ending is pretty sad though, but still a good read.

Status: Complete

Length: 48,000 words

Nihil Inherit

By: Ratherastory

https://archiveofourown.org/works/210854

Summary: In May of 2007, Sam Winchester wakes up in his own grave, but digging himself out is the least of his worries. He’s plagued by the psychic visions which have returned with renewed intensity and which all but threaten to cripple him. He reunites with Dean, only to find that the Yellow-Eyed Demon is still at large, about to put his world-ending plans into motion. A mysterious figure who knows much more that he ought too, dogs Sam’s footsteps, hinting at darker things to come. Soon Sam and Dean find themselves on a path that feels frighteningly familiar: toward Lilith, Lucifer, and the Apocalypse. Unable to shake the certainty that he’s seen this all before, Sam knows that this is his one chance to set things right, or die trying.

My Comments: So this is a pretty good fanfiction. I really love the twist they put on time travel and the effect it would have on the human mind. This fic is tragically beautiful in the best sort of way, I highly recommend this one! This fic is cross-posted on LiveJournal, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 72,033 words

LiveJournal: https://ratherastory.livejournal.com/60075.html

Providence

By: Nova42

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3362444

Summary: If you could do it all over again, what would you change, what would you sacrifice, who would you save? Dean wakes up in 2007 with ten years worth of memories that haven’t happened yet and choices to make that will change the world forever.

My Comments: This is a pretty good fanfiction with Dean going back in time. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve only read half of this fic because that was all that was posted at the time. Now the entire fic is posted so I’m gonna have to go back and reread this fic. There is a sequel, but it is three chapters away from being complete but it was last updated back in 2020. So read at your own peril. This fic is cross-posted on ff.net, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 121,309 words

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1056584

Sequel: Causality -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006134

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11048603/1/Providence

Ff.net Sequel: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12946953/1/Causality

Path Already Traveled

By: Clowns_or_Midgets & Jadeys_World

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535559

Summary: Castiel prays for guidance, and someone answers. He and Sam set off on a journey to the past to save the future. Ties will be tested and personal battles fought for the sake of the world.

My Comments: This is one of my favorite fics, I’ve always loved PeggySue fics and this one definitely fits the bill. I love the relationships between all the characters. I highly recommend this one. This fic is cross-posted on ff.net, so I'll link that down below.

Status: Complete

Length: 90,120 words

Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11103666/1/Path-Already-Traveled

[deadlydelicious]

Kx's Supernatural favorites

Top 5 Seasons

Season 10

Season 12

Season 2

Season 4

Season 14

Least Favorite: Season 7

Top 5 Side Characters (Any Character who is not Dean, Sam, Cas, or Bobby)

Donna Hanscum

Mary Winchester

Eileen Leahy

Death

Jack

(Claire was so close in here, but I had to cut at five. 100% think Claire should be the focus of the inevitable revival)

Top 3 Story Arcs

Mark of Cain

Sam going through the trials/ sealing hell

The OG season 5 apocalypse

Top 5 Story Arcs/Characters with the most wasted potential (like to the point i'm angry)

The Leviathan (They should have been horrifying, not a joke)

Adam Milligan (Rescuing him from hell and bonding should have been a whole story)

Evil!Michael (All that build up and we only get like 3 episodes of evil!Michael Dean. I wanted a whole 0.5 of a season)

Mary Winchester (I actually love her characterization, but its clear the writers had no clue what to do with her so they kept sticking her on ice?)

Human!Cas (This would have been so much more interesting handled at close range in the bunker rather than a couple one-offs)

Top 3 Villains (lets all be clear, the best villains are sometimes our friends)

The Mark of Cain

Crowley

Godstiel

Least favorite villain: Metatron (season 9 deserved better)

Top 5 episodes of Supernatural (specifically thinking 'good episodes' not 'big plot' episodes, so finales and openers only earn a place if they earn it)

Red Meat

Executioners Song

The Man Who Would Be King

The Curious Case of Dean Winchester

As Time Goes By

Top 3 Episodes of each season

Season 1

Faith

Skin

Something Wicked

Season 2

Roadkill

What Is and What Should Never Be

All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2

Season 3

Bad Day at Black Rock

Mystery Spot

Jus In Bello

Season 4

Lazarus Rising

Jump The Shark

It's A Terrible Life

Season 5

Dark Side of the Moon

The Curious Case of Dean Winchester (Even back when I'd only seen a few seasons on and off, I think about the tragedy of the 'villains' from this episode so much, they were so fucking affecting)

Changing Channels

Season 6 (aka the second to worst season)

The Man Who Would Be King

The French Mistake

My Heart Will Go On

Season 7 (aka the worst season. I'm honestly picking the worst of crap here)

Death's Door (The only beautiful thing this season made)

Reading Is Fundamental

Time After Time

Season 8

Sacrifice (I know its the finale, but that confrontation in the church and the image of heaven falling was fucking chefs kiss)

As Time Goes By (I'm a slut for Henry Winchester, sue me)

Remember the Titans

Season 9

Bad Boys

Heaven Can't Wait

Alex Annie Alexis Ann

Season 10

Executioners Song

Soul Survivor

The Things They Carried

Season 11

Red Meat

Baby

Into The Mystic

Season 12

Keep Calm and Carry On

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Ladies Drink Free

Season 13

The Big Empty

Breakdown

Wayward Sisters

Season 14

Damaged Goods

Mint Condition

Stranger in a Strange Land

Season 15

The Gamblers

The Trap

Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven (that final Adam line, OOOF)