#i think that knowing how similar younger scary was to normal just adds such an interesting layer like GOD

[kaseyskat]

thinking about scary and normals relationship again do NOT hit me up

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hi! If it's okay to request? nanbaka x reader

Reader as a sister of the Sugoroku brothers, Hajime and Hitoshi

Reader's a younger twin of Hajime Sugoroku, known for 'looks can kill but actually a cinnamon' type.

Reader's almost identical to Her twin, Hajime, (including baldness, if its okay to add this) but minus the scars, they always get confused by others, because they can't tell because of their appearance (the baldness) except Hitoshi and Hajime

Reader's personality is similar to Hitoshi, but has a healing/motherly vibes and more mellow, somewhat oblivious, can get overwhelmed or bashful when it comes to romance-related or being asked if she's single (which she is, yet replied something like this, 'I don't know about single but I'm always with my brothers' or any alike)

Hajime and Hitoshi are very protective of Reader (especially some guys decide to do a prank and/or reject Reader, for having unusual traits for a normal girl )

Can we have a scenario of, Reader as a sister of the Sugoroku brothers, you can change the scenes if you want

When After the Building 13's inmates (Rock, Uno, Nico, & Jyugo) first meet with Hitoshi

Hitoshi asked Jyugo if he can tell something to Hajime, which's Reader, his and Hajime's sister, will be working in the Nanbaka

Reader hired at the Nanbaka and she'll be new to her workplace, not as a guard, but as a staff, like a nurse, assistant, or others, as she, unknowingly, can do many talents or being well-rounded in various care work/task

With Rock, Uno, Nico, Jyugo, & Hajime, you can also add others in Building 13's. Can be Romantic and/or Platonic

-When Hitoshi first met the inmates of Cell 13, they were originally mad at Hajime, thinking he was being stingy for not telling them that he had a sister.

-They were then shocked to find out that Hitoshi was a cross dresser, but Hitoshi was the one with the information, “My big sister is starting here soon too- she’s going to be working in the clinic as a nurse!”

-Hajime’s eyelid twitched lightly, hearing this, as you hadn’t told him this! He was going to have a talk with both you and Hitoshi about keeping things from him.

-Cell 13 was excited to meet you, thinking you were going to be just as cute as Hitoshi, making fun of Hajime for looking like a gorilla, which caused him to leave lumps on all four of their heads.

-Hajime was taking Cell 13 to one of Nico’s appointments, as well as hoping you could give him something for his stomach cramps from his stress that the two of you were causing him.

-When they entered the clinic, they were quickly looking around for the new nurse as Hajime called out, “Y/N- you there?”

-A sweet voice, one that felt like a hug, called out, sounding so much like Hitoshi as you came from the back, holding a box of supplies.

-The four inmates all turned to stone, looking completely shocked, seeing that you looked exactly like Hajime, including having no hair, just with no scars and a slightly more female looking body.

-You beamed brightly at them, roses and bubbles surrounding you, “Hello there, welcome to the clinic!” it was honestly scary to see this Hajime look-alike smiling so sweetly as Hitoshi bounded over as you put the box down, leaping into your arms as you smiled, holding him close, “Hitoshi~ how’s your first day?”

-The four inmates could only look between you and Hajime, shock on their faces, seeing the big difference in personalities.

-They felt like they couldn’t be attracted to you, as you looked just like Hajime, that’s all they could see, was Hajime, but they did appreciate your gentle touch as you gave each of them a checkup, despite only Nico having an appointment, it was a nice change of pace.

-Rock couldn’t help but smirk at Hajime, “You know we might behave more if you were nicer to us like Y/N!” he was instantly whacked, holding a new lump on his head and you whacked Hajime, shocking the inmates, “Don’t hit others!”

-Instantly you were like an angel in their eyes, as you protected them from Hajime something they would use to their advantage, whining to you when Hajime was mean to them, as you would scold your older twin.

-It was during one of these visits when Uno asked you a question, honestly curious, “Hey Y/N~ may I ask~ are you single?” You were surprised by his question, cupping your cheeks, looking a bit embarrassed as you turned, looking so cute which Rock and the others all beamed at.

-You twiddled your fingers bashfully when you told them, “I haven’t had much luck with dating others. Most don’t like women who look like me, bald I mean, and I look pretty manly, so not many are interested, other than making fun of me.”

-The inmates turned to Hajime in shock, silently asking him if this was true, you were so nice! How could people be so mean to you?!

-Nico was quick to leap into your arms as Hajime told them about all your shitty exes who tried to treat you badly, who ended up getting their asses kicked, so because of it, you were pretty hesitant about dating, as you didn’t want to be bullied again.

-The others were quick to hug you as well, something Hajime yelled at them for, demanding them to let you go, as they wanted to keep you safe too- you were their safe person against Hajime, and you always treated them with kindness and respect. They wanted you to be protected and happy, so you would never leave, because if you did, Hajime would make them all feel the pain they have been cruising for, teasing him.

[almightyhamslice]

Versus Chef Kawasaki! This man found a weird star somewhere in Dreamland and his first idea was to cook it and see what it tasted like. I think he is going to get himself killed if this is just a normal thing for him. Then again, maybe he has an incredibly high poison tolerance that we just dont know about??? Anyways I posted the first image on discord and someone said he looked like Jesus LOL. Like smh not every guy with long brownish hair and a beard is trying to be Jesus!! He just has those cuz I think they suit him! And his hair isn't always the same color. Just generally it's a sorta rusty orange color (like the outside of a ham....) to match his in game sprites. Again I find that I go about coloring these the way Araki might. Nothing's all that consistent but it's fun that way!

I've actually drawn Kawasaki using a similar design to this one before! The only real difference is that he doesn't have crow's feet here, since he's somewhat younger. I'll add them later in the timeline! During Super Star/Ultra I think? He's just a normal human guy who has a passion for cooking, no special abilities or anything. He's just very smart when it comes to food! (though idk maybe not SUPER smart since. he did just pick up a weird star and try to eat it LOL. He is open to experimentation even if it will kill him???) I also think it was interesting how he's cooking but he's outside? I suppose he was camping then since Kirby was! Maybe THATS why I think KSS is set in summer...

Also does this new pen suck or what??? I do NOT like using it its so flimsy. I hope it runs out so I can use something else LOL.

Anyhow, bad news & vent under the cut:

I'm gonna be brief abt this since I dont want to go into detail but essentially I was in a bad accident yesterday n I'm really traumatized about it! No one was hurt but it was just really scary and I'm all sore and have bruises from it now. So I'm doing that thing that fanfic authors sometimes do where I'm posting even though real life is very dire and scary. My car got wrecked though, so I could probably use more commissions right about now... though I don't know if I'll be able to work on them because I'm sore! Maybe I should start commissions in a week or perhaps several. Point is I don't feel good at all but I'm still drawing Kirby because it makes me feel somewhat better.

[aquagirl555]

Ok i actually have thoughts on this, bit long so put a read more

so my idea for werewolves is that there is a bit of a split in your mind, the human mind and the wolf mind, but there isn't a clear divide but an area where the human and wolf mind blur together

the wolf mind is still the human, but the human as if they were born a wolf. Wild, primal, untamed. the wolf is a reflection of the human, the other side of the coin. But thanks to the blur between human and wolf, the wolf gains an understating of humanity and human things that a real wolf would lack, and in turn the human would gain an understanding of wolfness and wolf mind that a normal human lacks

For people born a werewolf, there is no issue, the wolf half and human half are in harmony, and the blur is most of who they are, the amount that is 'only' human and the amount that is 'only' wolf is slim

for a turned werewolf, most, at least initially, are afraid of their wolf mind, for a verity of reasons(we fear new, fear the unknown, fear the wild, the beast, the animal), and that fear is reflected back in the wolf half, which fears the human side(the complex feelings, complex thoughts, seemingly paradoxical needs vs desires), this leads to both sides trying to reject each other and in turn a separation of human and wolf half, and the blur between the two is thin, which leads to more fear

with more blur the wolf gains more understanding of the human side as well as remembers what the human does when the wolf 'sleeps'/'is dormant', and when the wolf is in charge the human gains understanding and memories from when the wolf is active/awake

when the blur is thin, there is little to no information and memory shared, you think a human is frightened to suddenly wake up in an unknown place in the woods, imagine how scared the wolf is to go from being in the woods to being inside a house, or somewhere completely new, or even in a cage or in chains

hence the drama, the horror, and the terror of the change

i like to imagine that after being bitten, it takes a full moon cycle to change for the first time, even if one is bitten on the first of the 'three' days of full moon, they won't transform until the first day of the next full moon cycle

that first month is the body and mind slowly changing from human, to werewolf, because no matter the form, human or wolf, they are still ultimately a werewolf, it's just that the duel mindedness is part of who and what a werewolf is

so this adds the layer of the newly made wolf half of the mind is just born, it is a puppy in an adults body, knows nothing but instincts and what blur the human and wolf have, no wonder the first transformation is scary and traumatizing, both for the human mind and the newborn wolf

i imagine it would take a year if not longer for the bitten wolf half to mature to match that of the human, and thus take up to if not longer then a year for the human and wolf half to reach the harmony a born werewolf would have(given the human and wolf mind would mature at roughly the same rate)

this is why newly bitten werewolves need a mentor of some kind for the first year or so, but to some degree they shouldn't be completely held responsible for their actions in the first year, probably as much as you would hold a young child responsible for their actions if anything

this is also why a newly bitten werewolf human mind may act younger and more immature as they are affected by the youth of their wolf mind, maybe even acting more similar to how they were as a child and later teen(depending on age of human turned)

and this is why children handle being turned better then adults, children are closer in age to their wolf mind, and thus the wolf mind catches up to the human mind's age faster, if only because there is less time to catch up to

I hate the dog-ification of werewolves >:( I by making them happy dumbos it misses the best part of transformative monstrosity: repression. If you aren't afraid of the beast within what's the fucking point. It's the big bad wolf lurking on moonlit nights it's not your golden retriever in the park at noon. Justice for repression!! Justice for the beast within!! Justice for the fear of who you could be if you really let loose! Is the monster your true self? Does the thrill of the wild outweigh the guilt that comes in the light of day, when there's mud on your feet and blood on your hands? What does it mean that you crave that which disgusts you, that the wolf isn't just something you become, it's something you always were

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Home Sweet Home: Catch ‘Em

Summary- 3.9k Andy Barber x You. You and Andy almost have it all, married and with a jointed family consisting of Andy’s teenage son Jacob, as well as your two younger children John and Cassidy. Looking to add another member, your family is in need of a bigger house, a forever home. You find just the place, 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville Long Island.    Home Sweet Home

Written for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ Spooky Scary Stories challenge. Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Child Endangerment, Hints of Smut (nothing graphic) Swears.

A/N- I chose Amityville Horror for the challenge because its one of my favorite Spook Stories growing up. When reading you will find a lot of similarities to the 2005 Movie, some of the scenarios and dialogue are specifically from that film. Other parts of it are from the book itself. The family name was changed for my own personal reasons. Happy Haunting!  🎃

A/N 2- We’re halfway through! 

Chapter 2 / Masterlist

The family settled and a few weeks later, morning started out normal for the rest of the household , but didn't start that way for Andy. His coughing never seemed to break and he was covered in a light sheen of sweat. You were already up to make breakfast for everyone, and Andy came down the stairs, rubbing at his chest. 

“Coffee Andy?” You ask while holding the coffee pot over his mug but he shook his head. 

“No, I actually came down hoping to find some cough syrup? Or pain medicine? Anything really. We don't have any upstairs.” 

“Oh I tossed out the old stuff. But I will pick some up when I go out today. I told Jacob that I would drop him off at the high school today after I got John on the bus.” 

Just as you were saying this, a stampede of footsteps came down the stairs making Andy wince a bit and all three kids came around the corner into the kitchen. Andy barked out a bit sharply, which even surprised you. “Y’all don’t need to be running on the stairs.” He coughed again and shivered. “Fuck its cold… I'm going down to check on the heater. If you could get that stuff, that would be great.” 

He snapped the door open and disappeared from sight while you were staring after him in surprise. Even all three of the kids seem to be in shock. Jacob just shrugged at his father's weird behavior and went to sit on a stool at the kitchen bar, the other two following him while you set plates with some scrambled eggs on them in front of them. Jacob just took toast nibbling on the edge of it a bit. 

“My phone cant keep any kind of charge whatsoever! I just got this thing to.” Jacob flipped it around to show you, and you saw it was already at 50 percent. You frowned at that, because of course he had one of the better styles of phones. Much better than anything you've ever had. 

“Your charging cord is working and everything?” You question and he nods, slipping it in his pocket. 

“Works just fine. It charges it to one hundred percent, twenty minutes later it is back down to fifty.” 

You shrug at Jacob at a loss and happen to glance at a small clock on the kitchen windowsill. “Shit.” you hiss out and down the last of your coffee. “Come on, time for the bus before we're late. Jake, meet you in the car.” You grab your car keys and open the door to call down to Andy. “I'm taking the kids to school.” 

You heard nothing more than a resounding deep cough and frowned reminding yourself to pick up that cough medicine for Andy on your way home. “Got your backpack John? Alright, lets go.” The whole pack of kids ushered out the door, leaving Andy all alone. 

Andy is pacing downstairs, waiting for the heater to kick on, cursing it out. 

“Spent all this money and the damn thing wont work.” he mutters while pulling the chair from his desk to it to sit in front of it, messing with the buttons on the front till a groaning protest came from the heater, and it clicked on to blast a bit of cool air, and quickly switched to warm. Rolling his chair back to his desk, he pulled out files from the bottom drawer to contact his clients and inform them that he was back in business at his new location. 

He was so tired though, having felt like he was up half the night feeling ill, and within a few moments he simply closed his eyes to rest them, he would use as an excuse to himself. Within moments he nodded off, and the creeping shadow came out of hiding, solidifying in front of his desk. Sharp clicking steps echoed against the cement floor and claws seared when they touched the wood of Andy's desk. It leaned forward to loom over the desk, over Andy whose chin rested against his chest. Forked tongue slithered along Andy's face, making him twitch in his sleep, whispering “Catch ‘em, Kill ‘em” Red eyes watched his victim for a moment, seemingly at peace in this state. It flexed its hands, claws scratching into the wood before giving a hard shake, sending  papers and pens flying, Andy’s laptop skidding across the surface and a picture that you had set on there yesterday crashing loudly to the floor. Cracking the glass into shattering pieces across the floor to glint wickedly. Andy’s eyes sprang open and he tipped forward to grab his shaking desk in surprise to see glowing red eyes and the scream of “Catch ‘em!” 

Then it all stopped, and he shoved back from his desk, pressing his heels to his eyes thinking he was seeing things. “What the fuck, what the fuck.” when he lifted his head, his breathing shaky to look at his desk, it was all normal. His papers were still exactly where he had set them before, his laptop in sleep mode ready to be used, pens all neatly lined up how he liked, and his family looking at him with wide happy smiles and laughs at the beach, the glass shining slightly in the light. 

“Jesus Christ Andy, get it together.” he shivered, cold once more and started coughing again. The door at the top of the stairs opened and your soft footsteps brought you down, Andy glanced up to see you carrying a steaming mug with the string of a tea bag wrapped around the handle and a paper bag that he assumed must have been the med’s he asked for. You reached the bottom and started approaching him, seeing his flushed face, the way he was heavy breathing with the rise of his chest, and you frowned while sitting the mug in front of him. 

“Baby, you don't look so good.” Your hand brushed against the side of his face, and it felt ice cold to him. Jerking out of your touch a bit, he wrapped his hands around the mug and sipped from it, scowling at the taste. 

“Don't talk to me like one of the kids Y/N.” he bit out of nowhere and he could see your face flash in a bit of hurt. “Sorry- sorry… I don't know what's wrong. Just a head cold is all. Are those the med’s?” 

“I got you a bit of everything.” your voice was colder towards him now, turned off from his offhand comment, and you set those down to, Andy knew he had to make it up to you, that was twice in the same morning he had been short, completely out of character for him. His hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his lap, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I have been an ass this morning.” He said, hoping you would ease up a bit. Which you did, he felt you relax on his thigh and your hand lifted to brush through his hair, tilting your head. 

“I know you're not feeling good. Come up soon and lay back down though? I am worried about you.” you confess, and he nods. “I gotta go back up and check on Cassidy.” 

You leave him at his work, and going up the stairs, you leave the door open to let the kitchen's sunshine at least shine down the dark stairs. Maybe it will remind Andy to come back up you think to yourself as you leave the kitchen. 

As soon as you do, the door eases shut, closing him back down in the dark belly of the house. Up the stairs, you walk the long hallway towards Cassidy’s room, gazing along the walls, imagining the photos you wanted to hang along the way when you heard Cassidy’s soft voice seemingly talking to someone. 

“No Jody, I cant. Mommy wouldn't like that, and neither would Andy.” You tilt your head curiously hearing this now, recalling her mentioning someone by that name a few times now since moving in. 

“Well, okay Jody, that doesn't sound too bad. And it is really cool. He took me out on it a few times. Even let me drive it once.” 

You eased her door open to see her standing in the middle of her room, and she jumped when she saw you. 

“Oh mommy! You scared me.” She giggled, and you poked your head around the door to see what she was talking to. Nothing, there was nothing there. 

“Who are you talking to, Babygirl?” You ask, and Cassidy looks once more where she had been talking before answering. 

“Jody, but they are gone now.” she hummed and turned towards her box of toys to dig through it. You come into the room and go to sit on the edge of her bed, watching as she pulled out a few of her dolls and brought out her tea set. 

You wiggle your nose a bit, knowing imaginary friends were not uncommon. You pull up to a stand as she is setting up her dolls around a small table. “Do you want me to have tea with you?” 

“No Mommy, I wanna just play by myself.” She said happily and you lean down to kiss the top of her head. Walking out, Cassidy followed behind you, peeking out to see you heading off to go back down the stairs. 

“Okay Jody, she's gone. You still wanna go down to see the boat?” Cassidy looked over her shoulder to see the closet door easing open on its own. Cassidy giggled, and raced out of her bedroom, one goal in mind. Going to the boathouse. 

You're in the kitchen, unpacking the last few boxes when you hear Cassidy’s feet thumping down the stairs. Luckily Andy is still down in the basement and hopefully can't hear the thumps that seemed to bother him. You were surprised in finding the door, but figured he must have had to shut it if he was talking to a client. Opening it back up to hear Andy was still downstairs, typing away on his laptop now with the clicking noise that worked its way up the stairs. Humming you lift another box on the table and start to unpack the contents. Turning your back from the fridge, you hop up to sit on the edge of the counter so you could fit the dishes together and put them on the upper shelf you couldn't reach. Unnoticed by you, the alphabet letters on the fridge start shifting around, letters coming together to fit together in a couple words. 

When you finish, you hop off the counter and turn back to catch sight of the refrigerator door, your eyes widening at the horrible words spelled on the door. 

Katch ‘em Kill ‘em 

You gasp in shock at them, wondering who would have possibly written that. Thumps on the stairs distracted you half a second and Andy appeared with his mug for a refill. “Andy, did you write that on the fridge?” you say in a slightly accusing voice, and he frowns while glancing at you as he heads to put the kettle on the stove. 

“What are you talking about Y/N?” 

“The magnets on the fridge.” You answer and you both turn to the fridge door to see the letters scattered all over the place, not spelling anything. You scowl in frustration, because you know what you saw and Andy gives you a strange look. 

“What words?” he asks while he's at the sink, filling up the kettle with water and you just shake your head. 

“Nothing, I thought I saw something, but I didn't.” you brush it off, now unsure of what you saw. While you're unwrapping more dishes, you suddenly hear Andy utter. “Oh shit, Cassidy!” and the tin sound of the kettle crashing in the sink while Andy is sprinting to the back door and outside. You drop what you're doing and follow him out, right on his heels as he's running down the wooden deck steps and headed straight for the boat house. “ANDY?” You shout from behind him as he's running full out across the deck. “What's wrong?!” your panicked, unsure what is going on while Andy is trying to wrench the door open. 

“Cassidy, I saw her go in here.” He rushed out as he wrenched on the handle, trying to get it to unclasp. You start pounding on the door now in a frantic way, Cassidy couldn't swim, and the boat house was stretched over the lake, should she slip in, there was a good chance she would drown. Your fear builds as Andy continues trying to get the door open. “What the fuck. CASS! OPEN THE DOOR.” he yells while trying to push it open.

“Oh god Andy, get it open, get it open.” tears start to well up in your eyes as you picture your daughter slipping under the water out of sight. 

Andy growls out and pushes you aside to slam against the door, hoping to wrench it open. “I'm trying Y/N, get out of the way.” 

Your just about to jump in to swim around to the other side of the boat house when the door sprang open and you both race in, looking around the dim interior to see Cassidy standing on the nose of the motor boat just staring out over the lake, you gasp in surprise seeing her like that as Andy made his way carefully along the edge of the deck not to startle her. 

“Cass, Babygirl, look at me.” Andy says softly as he makes his way towards her. Your right behind him. 

“Cassidy, look at Andy.” you whimper out, watching as she gets closer to the edge of the boat, and her gaze was so far away out over the lake, like she never noticed you or Andy trying to get to her.

“Cass!” He says more urgently, and she jumps to look at him, slipping a bit as the boat rocks from her movements. “Take my hand baby.” He stretches his hand out and she shakes her head a bit. 

“I can’t, I gotta go.” Cass say’s with certainty, tilting her head like she was listening to someone else. “Jody want’s to take me to play.” 

“Take his hand Cass!” your panic rushing your voice and Andy stretches out further over the water, his voice turning hard and authoritative. 

“Cassidy I’m not asking again. Take my hand.” When Cassidy heard him this time, she snapped her head to look at him and her eyes grew wide with surprise. She stretched for his hand, her fingers trying to reach for his. Andy is quick to snatch her and pull her off the boat to safety, falling back against the wall from the momentum. You gather your daughter in your arms, giving a sob. 

“Cassidy what were you doing, you could have drowned.” 

Now the girl is caught up in Andy's and yours fear, giving her own sob as tears burst from her eyes while you and Andy rush out of the boat house with her strongly clutched in your arms, stopping just outside as she wails out. “Jody wanted to see the boat Mommy! Jody wanted me to go with them.” 

“Cass, there is no Jody!” your nerves shook so you shout at her in anger and fear, and Andy reaches to take Cassidy from your arms. 

“She's scared Y/N and didn't know any better, yelling isn't going to help.” He turns the little girl in his arms as she sobs into his shoulder, his hand smoothing along her back to calm her down. “Hey Kiddo, it's going to be okay.” He tried calming Cassidy who’s sobs wracked her body in Andy’s arms, and you walked away a bit to take a shuddering inhale. You know he's right, you're just upsetting her more, but your fear outweighed that right now. 

“Just lock that damn door Andy, so this doesn't happen again.” you look back at the door and he nods. 

“I will go pick up a lock at the hardware store, I promise.” He assured you and you nodded, wiping away your tears. Now your daughters crying in Andy’s shoulder upset you, made you feel guilty for yelling at her. You move to press your hand against her back and say her name. She tilts her head to look at you through teary eyes and you try giving her a shaky smile. 

“I’m sorry baby, I didn't mean to yell. You just really scared me and Andy.” 

She gave a sniffle and Andy eased her back so she could wipe her face dry and look at both of them. 

“I’m-i’m sorry. Next time I will ask.” She said, and you nodded. Andy shifted her once more to rest on his hip. 

“Cassidy, the boathouse is dangerous and you know off limits to you and John. If Jody tells you to do something you're not supposed to, what do you tell Jody?” he asked and the little girl lifted her arm to wipe her face again, hiccuping as she tried to catch her breath. 

“I tell Jody no Andy.” she said, his hand still rubbing against her back. 

“That's right, if you're not sure if you're allowed, you come ask Mommy, Me, or Jacob if it's okay.” he smiled at her to reassure her that it was all okay.

She gave a nod and he held up a pinkie finger, which she hooked her finger around and Andy kissed her forehead. “Pinky promise I swear Andy.” 

“Can't break a pinky promise. You know… I think I have some cookies up at the house.” He said, his hand coming up to brush the last tears away with his thumb on her cheeks. “You wanna get a snack before I have to go back to work?” 

Cassidy seemed to consider it. “Oreos?” 

“Of course they are oreos!” Andy winked as you all headed back up to the house. “Best cookie there is, right?” 

Cassidy gave a firm nod, and you let out a relieved breath. Crisis averted. 

Later that afternoon, Andy came back out of the basement just as you were finishing the kitchen, Cassidy coloring at the table while he grabbed his keys. 

“I will go pick up Jacob and stop at the hardware store.” He pecked a kiss on your cheek, and you looked at him. 

“You sure you're feeling up for it?” 

Andy nodded and flashed a smile. “I feel much better Love, those meds kicked in and some fresh air will do me good.” 

You happen to agree since he's been in that basement most of the day, and you wave a goodbye, deciding you should probably figure out what's gonna be for dinner later in the day. “How about tacos tonight Cass?” 

She cheers and  you double check to make sure there was enough ingredients, which there was. No need to send Andy a text to pick up anything. “Come on kiddo, lets go pick John up from the bus stop.” you snap the door shut, bluntly ignoring the letters scattered over the fridge. 

Heading down the driveway, the house groaned, all alone once again. There was a shattering through the kitchen, your finest dishes being flung from the cupboard and against the wall, fine china dust settling in the air as the scattered pieces spread across the linoleum for you to find later. The basement door wrenched open and the yawning darkness going down the stairs turned darker, more ominous. 

When you came back, you stared in shock, stopping both John and Cassidy from going in to save them from stepping on shattered broken shards. “How about you two go on up to your rooms to play while I clean this up?” 

Both children went upstairs, and you grabbed a broom to start sweeping, as you passed the basement door, you slammed it shut in frustration and anger. 

Night fell and you got the kids settled in. Settling in bed yourself to lean against the headboard, massaging your temples while Andy was in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

You were beat after having to help John with his homework and Cassidy suddenly changed her mind and just hated tacos. Andy seemed to be feeling better, helping where he could. Offering to take over the dishes when John called you back to the kitchen table, and afterwards he hugged you from behind, kissing your neck while whispering in your ear that he couldn't wait to put a baby in you before he went back down to the basement to finish up with a few things.  

Thinking back on his idea made you warm up and when Andy came back in the bedroom and stretched out next to you, you looked at him, biting your lip while looking at him.

“You really wanna tonight?” you asked hopeful, since moving your and Andy’s sexual escapades had diminished a bit and you put it all to the stress of moving a whole family to a new house.

“Make you a baby momma? Of course, come on over Pretty Girl.” He reached up to click off the lights and bathe the room in the moonlight when you gently eased into his lap, the two of you starting with gentle affectionate kisses before they turned deeper and needier. Andy's hands slid up and down your back through your tank top, and you would sigh against his lips at how good it felt. Andy chained kisses from your mouth to your jaw and you tilted your head back to let him chain those kisses of his down your neck. He pulled you in closer to feel more of you when his glance lifted to look in the mirror just behind you at the end of the bed. 

At first Andy had no idea what he was actually looking at, a grotesque face appeared above him in the mirror, like it was balancing on the headboard behind him. Crouching in place, its clawed hands dug into the wood, its muscled body flexing as it swayed slightly on the head board. Up to its face, a forked tongue slithered out and red eyes glared at him in the mirror. How could something from a nightmare be here right now? He wasn't asleep, he was just about to make love to his wife. His head jerked back in shock, banging against the headboard with a loud crack as he looked up to see nothing above him. “Fuck!” 

You yanked up in surprise, running your hands down his chest. “Handsome, what's wrong?” your head tilted and you looked where he was staring, feeling his heart starting to race under your hands. 

“You didn't see that?” He grasped your hips, making you go still as you frowned. 

“See what Andy?” his gaze fell back to ours and then back up. 

“There was something there, fuck I saw it in the mirror. I don’t even know what it was. It looked like a- ” He grasped your hips and sat up to look around, your hands grabbing onto the front of his tee shirt in surprise. Looking back to the mirror and then to Andy who was still trying to figure it out. 

“Like what Andy?” You are studying him trying to figure out what he was talking about. 

“Fuck it I know Y/N.” His hold tightened on you a moment, like whatever was going to rip you away while he still looked around the room. 

“Hey hey, Andy.” you cup his face and make him look at you, kissing his forehead and down till you leaned your forehead against his. “It's okay, there is nothing there, I promise.” Your lips brushed against his. His breathing slowly started to settle back down, and your hands rubbed against his shoulders and the back of his neck as he started to sink back against the pillows, rubbing at his face. 

“It was so real though Y/N. These past few weeks, I feel like I'm losing my mind.” 

You tilt your head and brace your hands against his chest. “Stress Andy, we’ve had a lot going on. It will get better, I promise.” 

His blue eyes shined up at yours and softened seeing you looking down at him, his hands going back to tracing your thighs clasped at his sides. “You know I love you right Pretty Girl?” 

You nodded and he twisted you two around till you were underneath him, and tilted your head up to kiss you deeply. “I think I was just about to put a baby in you.” 

You giggled against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and whispering. “Yes you were Andy.”

[greekgrad07]

i blame @deepestempathllamalawyer and @zitzboy for this but this post got me thinking about malconnor and now i can’t stop i’m sorry

malconnor headcanons

they had always been friendly with each other bc of connor and annabeth but nothing worth calling an actual friendship

they never really talked unless annabeth was around until one day after the battle of manhattan

so connor had a bunch of summer assignments he has put off for the last minute bc a.) there was a fucking war going on and b.) procrastination is a curse

he went to the athena cabin hoping to find annabeth for some help but when he got there the only athena kid in sight was malcolm (annabeth was out with her new boyfriend percy alhdkjdk)

so it would be awkward at first but basically it would go something like this

“hey, annabeth isn’t here.” “oh sorry, i was just gonna ask her about some homework, i’ll come back later i guess haha.” and like right as he turns around connor hears malcolm say, “i mean, i could help you, if you want. annabeth isn’t the only smart kid in this cabin, you know?”

and connor is FLUSTERED bc 1.) him and malcolm have barely said three words to each other alone before and now he’s offering to spend gods know how long trying to explain algebra to him, 2.) he’s pretty sure he’s just offended him and if there is one thing connor knows, it’s that you should never, ever, make a child of athena think you doubt their intelligence, and 3.) well, actually, he ain’t sure what else is making him nervous

so after that it gets to the point where connor starts to seek malcolm out for help on all of his assignments, and once they are done with that, connor starts to look for new ways to spend time with him

this boy has no idea how to make friends without pranking them but for some reason connor can’t talk himself into doing anything that may embarrass or hurt malcolm (he tells himself that it’s probably bc he feels indebted to him but...)

not to mention the last child of athena he became friends with was basically desperate for attention at the time, it was easier back then. but malcolm is new territory, and just like annabeth, most of her siblings are intimidating.

obviously he knows that malcolm is willing to help him so connor decides that the best way to insinuate friendship is by making a mountain out of anthill problems just to ask for the son of athena’s help

and this works. malcolm was willing to help connor with almost all of his minor inconveniences.

one time, connor “dropped” his lucky ring during a volleyball match. thankfully, malcolm just so happened to be there

“mal! hey sorry, but my ring fell off during the tournament. i think it’s in the sand somewhere, do you care to help me find it before your cabin starts the next game?”

it was a while before malcolm found the ring. the ring that just appeared out of nowhere at his feet after about thirty minutes of searching, cracking jokes, and avoiding the gaze of the demeter cabin glaring at the two boys to hurry up.

(needless to say, the ring was in connors pocket the whole time)

another time was when connor snuck out of camp with travis to go to the 7/11 down the street and couldn’t decide which snacks to get for the bonfire that night

this resulted in the first of many iris messages to malcolm

“flaming hot cheetos or takis?” “why not both?” “you’re after my own heart, pace.”

connor did not see the other boy blushing at his words (and he did not spend the rest of the night overthinking about that sentence thank you very much)

travis did end up teasing his little brother about it though

“what’s with you and children of athena?” “dude what are you talking about?”

but the best incident was when one of connors problems involved annabeth- or rather, finding annabeth. and he didn’t even have to make that one up

he and annabeth were supposed to train that day, but she was late. normally he would be worried, but a part of him was glad that he had an excuse to go talk to malcolm.

turns out, he didn’t have to.

right as he walked up to the cabin, the boy in question opened the door.

the two bumped into each other and connor wasn’t sure why his face started heating up or why malcolm was looking anywhere but his face.

the blonde boy stuttered out how he was just on his way to the arena to meet him.

“wait what? i just came here to ask you about annabeth.” malcolm’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink and connor doesn’t know why he finds that so endearing, “percy planned a surprise picnic for the two of them, so i offered to spar with you in her place so she wouldn’t feel bad.”

when i say this boy was blushing-

so they spar together and then decide, hey why not hang out for the rest of the day?

and oh boy when the day came that malcolm started coming to connor for help

let’s just say that he was beaming

not to mention it was something that connor was more than happy to help with

apparently some kids of hephaestus were being dicks to one of the younger athena kids and malcolm was pissed, so he asked connor for some pranking tips

they ended up sneaking into the cabin, sabotaging the campers newest projects, and covering all of their tools with honey and feathers

after spending all night hearing malcolm’s laugh and seeing his pale blonde hair in the moonlight as he dropped him off at the athena cabin, connor was sure that friendship wasn’t all he wanted with the boy now

one day, while connor was trying to think of a new excuse to talk to malcolm, the boy walked up to him and asked if he wanted to pick strawberries with him

“yes! i mean- yeah, yeah sound fun”

the two spent the day at the strawberry field picking -eating- strawberries while they talked and laughed with each other

at some point during the evening, connor started retelling a story about him and annabeth from their youth at camp. it involved a prank against clarrise and some glue, and it had both boys cackling by the end of it

then malcolm said “i’m sorry that you got stuck with a walmart annabeth that day, but i’m kind of glad that my sister wasn’t in the cabin when you were looking for help with your school work. i’m not great with getting to know people but i liked how easy it was with you.”

connor would have taken the compliment in stride if it weren’t for malcolms first comment “what do you mean walmart annabeth?”

the boys stopped and looked back at connor “just that, i know you and annabeth are really close, and she’s been busy recently. i understand that you would want to hangout with someone who reminds you of her. i’m okay with it, really. i like spending time with you.”

connor felt his heart simultaneously swell and break at the same time. not once had connor thought of malcolm as an annabeth replacement, nor would he ever. the two children of athena were similar yes, but a lot of siblings are, it doesn’t mean they are the same, and connor definitely never associated them as being such. so he told him that

“i like spending time with you, too. you as in malcolm pace, not an annabeth replacement. i’ve never seen you like that and i never would. plus, you’re not walmart anything, you’re full channel baby. children of hermes only steal the best of the best.”

“what exactly would you be stealing?”

connor just smiled and grabbed the boys hand.

that night, connor stoll made a list including all the things he liked about malcolm pace. he made sure to add the things he liked that he knew differentiated the boy from annabeth as well

some things on the list include how his hair was a more pale blonde compared to his other siblings. connor liked how it certain lights it looked white.

the fact that he was the same height as connor, which made it easier to look him in the eyes

his eyes which were a dark grey and could be considered scary if it weren’t for the gleam they always wore

the way that he always blushed when romantics were involved, no matter how innocent

or how loud he laughed at a joke that he found funny, despite how he tried to muffle it into the collar of his shirt

connor likes how willing malcolm is to help people and how brilliant he is

he likes that malcolm tries to follow the rules but still knows how to have fun and let loose

connor stoll likes malcolm pace

but it’s even better when annabeth finds out

“you and my brother?!”

“you liked luke for who knows how long, i don’t wanna hear it chase!”

[eyenaku]

It's strange! I think it's less uncanny and perhaps an association thing? When I was younger the whole doll genre of horror movie (i.e. chucky) terrified me So Deeply that despite never watching any of them I essentially refused to touch Any horror media particularly movies and made me of course get rid of all dolls and stuff.

Something similar is that I remember in grade school (maybe grammar school) I walked into a room where on the tv there was a murder mystery show one of my family members had on, and even though I didn't see anything actually scary there was a stuffed animal with button eyes on the screen and for some reason that 10 second source of association left me so terrified of a couple similar stuffed animals in my dad's room to the point he had to remove them from sight. But yea, I think it's more so association than it being uncanny cuz I tend to love that type of stuff! unnerving things, things a little too human and yet not enough to not be unnerving, eyes of all kinds in general! those are thinks i LIKE in Particular!!

I also was deeply terrified of chuck e cheese as a kid, which would add to that. I recently got really into the history of showbiz pizza, and all the rock a fire explosion animatronics, were very unsettling (though i still love them) with, again, the exception of their sun and moon, which again did not have the doll-like eyes! i've seen plenty of people online think their creepiness was on par with the rest of the band though, so it's for sure the eyes for me, not them being animatronics or uncanny?? which is something that fascinates me!! It's also less bad (by a little but not completely) on the glamrock animatronics, bit I don't think that's because of the space around the eyes so much as the "irises". The older games' irises look much more doll-like, similar in my head to Anabelle, for example, where the glamrocks' eyes aren't as.... detailed? I don't think detailed is the correct word but the glamrocks's eyes are flatter colours if that makes sense?

also i would Gladly talk about their designs All Day i am a Large Fan of that type of conversation in fact

ALSO THANK U SO MUCH AGAIN <33 I tend to get very extremely invested in topics that don't have enough interest to have produced informative pieces/graphics. I'm a large fan of information! I love to organize data for fun and just as much of that i very much enjoy Talking about it and Explaining it in easy to digest formats! although i often get too invested and what I think is a simple explanation is far more in depth than i perceive it as! Thankfully pierrot was a more conventionally enjoyable subject than normal- I spent a big chunk of today researching the history of water softeners for leisure ehsajkdhsjdsa but truly it means very very much to me what you said <33

Also I actually had a very similar non-canon idea of their joints sound! When working with ceramics you sometimes use a fine grit grinding paste to smooth the space between the lid and vessel- and it's a wonderful mortar and pestle-like gritty porcelain-y sound! I was able to find a video if you'd like to hear it here (the end part that is post-grind is the bit I mean, smooth yet slightly gritty): https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cr0u1dWL-Re/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== in any event i am also a very Large Fan of all their in-game noises! moon's broken music box sounds in particular make me go :3

also YES YES YES I also must have you know that the sentence "It's like being chased by Roger Rabbit if he had a Prey Drive." will live in my head until the day I die and I will be incorporating it somehow in to a number of things it is so amusing for no reason! if you do not mind i would like to replace some part of my blog's editable text to it because it's so amusing and so ever i cannot describe it??

The way they act reminds me a lot of small children, they dont know how to act like a Person yet and it's a lot of playing around, playing pretend even, except that they are very much Not human children and so it comes off in such a way it's just. so ever. I'm love fr fr! it's like trying to pass off a theatrical performance as genuine! Trying to pass off pantomimed emotions as things like being comforting when it's overbearing, and it's double unsettling because of their physical appearance!

Something else I especially like to think about is their computer aspect, and as such the true lack of comprehension! like a puppy howling along to humans singing happy birthday there is seeing and there is doing but there's no comprehension (or need for comprehension for that matter!) outside of an expected output, particularly with moon's behaviour ! that lack of Feeling is what makes their behaviour so funky because it's so easy, as a human, to interpret it As feeling! Like projecting feelings onto roombas and stuff!

ANYWAYS they are so silly i am a Big Fan for sure what creechurs

YOU SAID SEND ASKS EVEN IF THEY'RE DUMB SO I'M GONNA SEND ONE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE DAYCARE ATTENDANT WHEN SAW THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME (IN GAME AND IN FANDOM) AND WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKED THEM?

okokokok so basically i was avoiding fnaf like the plague bc i am terrified of animatronics and horrible with jumpscares in particular! but my best friend is a long time big time fnaf fan and so since like 2017 i was consuming fnaf content passively through them, and even since the game came out i was seeing stuff about it i just never got into it bc it wasn't super appealing

i was really invested in afton family lore n such so i got into fnaf because of that but was avoiding most animatronic content bc weee big fear (a few exceptions of animatronics though i.e. ballora) I could not figure out why i was so scared of them but I FIGURED IT OUT!! more on that later-

so fnaf sb came out n ofc I was watching playthroughs on call w/ my friend (before i played it, i played it soon after) and when sun showed up i was very much,,,, not scared of em?? i could not figure out why?? but i didn't really *focus* on them cuz i wasn't super into fnaf outside of afton family stuff

my friend kept sending me sun and moon fanart bc I did not have an upset reaction to them which was abnormal up until that point, and so i started to actively think they were neat! not super into them to the extent i came to be though- but i did figure out that the reason i have no issue with them and do have an issue with outer animatronics is because of their eyes! even moon who has "pupils" doesnt have the horrible doll-like "realistic" eyes most of the animatronics have- which is what was so unnerving about them to me. absolutely hate dolls and stuffed animals with eyes i have no idea why but one day they were just BAD and as a kidd i threw all the ones i had away and never looked back for the most part,,, but anyways sun and moon's designs were very appealing to me as i've always loved clown/jester type designs, celestial designs, pantomime-esque designs, marionette/bjd type designs (every time i draw them they have ball joints even now), etc. i also love love play structures and i've also always lowkey wanted to work in early education or in a daycare so the very environment was appealing! the designs really hit all of my interests AND were free of what was terrifying about the other animatronics

ANYWAYS i think the turning point (like it was for a lot of people in this fandom) was bamsara's work/solar lunacy! up until that point i had specifically avoided and never touched self insert fics + art, but it's so well written it changed my initial views about the whole category entirely ! because of that i was able to appreciate/consume more of the dca fandom content, which has so many talented creators! aside from that i remember being really really invested in 8um8ble8ee's dca work!

the designs being so appealing to my interests is likely one of the main reasons though aya!! jesters! bells! glow in the dark! stars! sun and moon motif! they remind me of those porcelain pierrots- one of my interests is the history of pantomime/commedia dell arte! i really don't think there's one thing about them or one moment i can remember that i was like YOOOOOOOOO!!!! it kinda just took over my brain hdsjkhsad

anyways i do remember distinctly sometime last year going wait- wtf?? because i'd thought this was a small time interest! something small i'd only taken casual interest in for a month or so, like so many other things, but then realizing i'd been making ART (not just consuming media) of them since at least december of 2021??? which is kinda insane to me!! (/pos ofc) before that time i was going through a really messy and just bad point in my life, and one of the ways I was tracking time was by the way my hair looked- i'd gotten obsessed with mykull afton after all the bad stuff and impulse cut my hair into a mullet and re-dyed it my natural colour after having bleached it brown, but this "first" drawing of sun was BEFORE my hair changed?? which i had not realized at all?? somehow in my head it was bad thing->mykull->dca but it looks like i was consuming and creating dca content through it all

anyways hsjhsjakjas i forgot what i was saying but i think i just really really liked them since i first saw em- i just didn't realize how much they had infiltrated my life until later somehow?? so ~may 2022 was when but really it was more like ~dec 2021? they make me so so happy i have no idea what it is to be honest

so ye in-game wise it was sorta on sight, fandom wise it was bc of solar lunacy + 8um8ble8ee !!

i still think its really funny that i like em so much, considering some of my biggest fears are Animatronics, Jumpscares, and The Dark BAHAHAHA

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 29/7/21 stream translation Part 1

T/n: This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk. I’ve changed the format as this format seems better. I’ll be writing in this format from now on.

*Someone asked him about his throat.

I: My throat? It’s normal. (t/n: He had a sore throat a few weeks ago)

I: I was asleep when chp 5 was released. It was already dark when I woke up.

*People in the comment praised chp 5.

I: Thank you, thank you. I’m glad you liked it.

C: I’m waiting for the translation!

I: It coming soon. (t/n: He’s speaking in eng.) It sounds like a wrong eng.

C: Are you right handed?

I: Yes, I am.

I: For chapter 6, I’ll probably finish drawing it if I work until the day after tomorrow, even though I haven’t made any progress at all. After that, I’ll add in the typesetting and then it’ll probably finished around 2nd or 3rd August. I’d be bad if I couldn’t get it done after I’ve said this.

C: Fumi (Jack Jeanne’s character) plays erhu? (t/n: OP’s referring to JJ OST album’s illustration.)

I: Yeah. Kosemura Akira (composer for Jack Jeanne) wanted to use erhu when composing Fumi’s theme song. So, he asked a famous person to play it. It’s really rare to have erhu in songs. Not many people in Japan play it. Why did he choose erhu? Then, when imagining what kind of instruments suit each character, for Kai, he has that deep, bass feeling. So, his instrument is double bass. Piano is Kisa. Suzu is, of course, all about hitting the beat. Drum is an important instrument in rhythm creation. For yonaga, it’s a wind instrument. I want him to play a pipe. You won’t understand even if I talk about it. Should I leave the picture here? Wait a min, let me show you.

*Someone commented about Tokyo revengers’ illustration.

I: Oh yes, I did an illustration of Tokyo Revengers’ Mikey. I want to draw Draken as well.

*He showed the illustration of JJ’s characters with instruments.

I: I drew Shirota playing guitar. For some reason, I imagined he could play guitar. And then, instruments like viola (referring to Neji). Otori plays maracas.

I: That’s how it is. And then, we have the Sui exhibition in Nagoya. I’ve been writing report on the event. Isn’t it amazing? Probably not. It’s for myself after all. Rather than for myself, I’d get mixed up if the exhibition is held in a lot of places. 

*He started Playing Ghosts n’ Goblins.

C: I really want to play Ghosts n’ Goblins, but it seems so stressful.

I: It’s not stressful, rather you’d feel angry.

*Giant monsters appeared.

I: Just now on discord, Goubaru texted me saying he wanted to call me, but I rejected. He’s expressing his anger right now. (t/n: He referred the monsters stomping the ground as angry Goubaru.)

C: Sensei, there’s no love counselling session today?

I: It seems like some of you were happy when I gave love advice. There’s someone who became a couple with her childhood friend. She said she’s gonna talk to her bf once again. What was the problem again? Something like she had trouble chatting with her bf through mail. I advised her not to then. Hahaha.

C: Do you remember people who always watch your livestream?

I: Not at all. I do remember you *****-san. (t/n: He mentioned OP’s name)

I: I tried listening to my own stream while working. When I listened to it, I realised I have a tendency to pick comments from specific people. There’re people who know to comment at the right timing, like Y****. (t/n: He mentioned the fan he always chats with) It seems like I pick them based on the colour (?), name length, and comments that are easy to pick. Weirdly enough, I always end up reading the comments from the same people.

*He’s fighting another angry and aggressive Goubaru.

C: Is Goubaru usually like this?

I: I wonder… I think so. But, he often wore this kind of down jacket, like for a year. A purple one. Even though the fabric wasn’t that thick, wearing a down jacket must be hot, right? He didn’t take it off when he’s in the workplace. He even wore it during summer. I asked him why, and he said it’s because he wanted to hide his body line. Sounds like a problem an attractive woman would’ve. I do kinda understand that. It’s probably the same reason as women who wears loose clothing as to not have their chest shown too much. He always wore purple down jackets due to reasons like that.

C: My dad also always wears down jackets in every season to hide his body line.

I: I’d tell those kind of people to lose weight.

C: Wearing down jacket and sweating is probably their way of losing weight.

I: No, but even if you sweat, you won’t lose weight. Those who’re dieting probably know this already, but sweating only reduce the water percentage in your body. Just because you sweat a lot doesn’t mean you’d lose weight. In the end, it all depends on the amount of fat you lose and the amount of muscle mass you gain.

I: With sauna, I don’t think you can lose weight. If you drink water, you gain back the amount of water you lost. However, if you don’t drink water for 2 days, you’d probably lose 2-3kg. Human bodies are made up of 70% of water after all.

C: Sauna only makes you feel refreshing.

I: Sauna makes you feel good. I think that, in itself, is nice too. It’s just that only fat people think that they can lose weight wearing down jacket. 

(t/n: I might’ve translated it a bit harsh, but I don’t think he meant it in a bad way. Please don’t be offended.)

C: Did you tell that to him?

I: I told him a lot of things. Something like “you’re gonna die” or “you’re gonna have your limbs amputated”. I have a younger friend who’s slightly diabetic, I think. He had always been fat, though he sometimes went on diet. His family knew a lot of people in the medical field, so they kept telling him to go to hospital. When he did the examination, he was told that he had a chance of getting diabetes. But Goubaru is a slob, so he wouldn’t visit hospital by his own volition, though I’m not qualified to say that since I also don’t really visit hospitals. He might be in a worse condition since he wouldn’t get checked up, so I think it’s best for him to lose weight.

I: Why being fat is not good for your health is because when the fat dissolves in your blood, the blood vessels will get clogged. That’s why I think it’s not good.

C: How much is your body fat percentage (BFP)?

I: How much is it…I’m not aiming to be ridiculously skinny or whatever. The average would be around 16-17%? It’d be great if I can get there. When I was on a rigorous diet, my BFP was as low as 13%. Some people are able to get to 10%. I wonder how they do that?

I: I’ve heard from someone about Goubaru’s body fat percentage. I’ve been talking about him, but his BFP is scary. It seems like he has 45% of fat in his body. He is nothing but a lump of fats already. The mother in Atashinchi (a classic manga) is also the same. Do you guys know Atashinchi? The mother is kinda fat. She’s also has around 45% BFP I think.

C: How much does Goubaru weigh?

I: I think he already surpassed 100kg, but I don’t know about now.

C: To be able to surpass 100kg is a talent.

I: Right. I’ve heard about that in Bananaman’s (Japanese comedy duo) radio or something. Mr. Himura (a member of Bananaman) was around 90kg at that time, though I don’t know his weight now. It’s probably around 10 years ago. He said he’s weighed more than 100kg, and that weighing 105 kg is a talent. 100kg was like the threshold for your body and you surpassed that limit.

C: There’s someone like Goubaru in my class.

I: But you don’t know him. Do you mean him having the same weight?

C: My classmate who weighs over 100kg broke the school chair just by sitting on it.

I: The weight is one thing, but even though chairs could withstand heavy amount of load, they’re not durable. Goubaru’s chair made a few scary noises whenever he sat down. It sounded similar to the sound effect of the door being opened in Inagawa Junji’s (an actor & ghost storyteller) ghost stories. I thought Mr. Junji was there.

Part 2

[maudsleyhealth]

You Shouldn't Ignore These 11 Eating Disorder Symptoms

What is the definition of an eating disorder?

Eating disorders are more widespread than many people realize. Lady Gaga, Zayn Malik, and Demi Lovato are just a handful of famous people who have struggled with eating disorders.

Recognize the signs and symptoms

Some eating disorder symptoms are obvious: significant weight loss, unwillingness to eat, and long lengths of time spent in the restroom after meals. Anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder, on the other hand, manifest themselves in subtler ways. 

How do you know if a family member or acquaintance is in danger? Because persons with eating disorders show a wide range of symptoms, there is no guaranteed way of knowing. (Not to mention personal characteristics: Eating disorders, which were historically virtually exclusively connected with adolescent girls, are now seen in younger children and adults as well.) 

These easy-to-overlook symptoms, on the other hand, may help you detect an eating disorder or a disorder in the making, earlier.

Body image issues

According to Cynthia Bulik, PhD, an eating disorders specialist at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, negative or obsessive thoughts about body size, a critical element in all eating disorders, can emerge very early in the disease. 

Negative self-talk ("I'm so fat," "I have no self-control") and misinterpreting other people's comments are both warning signals of poor body image. "Comments like 'My, you've filled out well' can be misinterpreted as 'You look big," according to Bulik. 

She goes on to say that young girls' body insecurities might emerge or worsen when they compare themselves to idealized figures like Disney princesses and supermodels.

Excessive exercise

Excessive exercise behaviors, often known as "exercise anorexia," can accompany disordered eating and appear to be on the rise, according to Bulik. It can be difficult to define "excessive" exercise, especially when dealing with athletes or highly active young individuals. (Female athletes had a greater rate of eating disorders than non-athletes, 14 percent against 3 percent, according to a 2013 study of high school students.) 

Here are a couple of red flags: Does the individual become anxious if they miss a day of exercise? Is he or she a gym rat who works out even when wounded or sick? "These are really excellent indicators," Bulik argues, "that things have gone too far."

Fear of eating in front of others

Feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious about eating in public might be linked to body image concerns; for example, a person may believe that others are observing and judging them. 

However, it could simply indicate that eating has become stressful in general. "For someone with an eating disorder, eating can be extremely anxiety-provoking," explains Bulik. "Doing it in public only adds to the magnitude of the task." 

Although not wanting to eat in front of other people is a defining feature of anorexia, it can also be a symptom of other eating disorders. "Even persons with binge eating disorder would eat very little amounts in public and binge when they are alone," adds Bulik.

Fine Body Hair

People who have been starving their bodies for a long time acquire soft, downy body hair that resembles a thin film of fur on their arms and other regions of the body. Lanugo is a physical adaptation to the dangerously low weight and loss of body fat that some persons with anorexia experience. 

According to Bulik, author of The Woman in the Mirror: How to Stop Confusing What You Look Like with Who You Are, "it is a symptom of malnutrition and [an] attempt by the body to keep itself warm."

Preparing extravagant meals for other people

Even though persons with anorexia may avoid food themselves, they are often eager to watch others eat, and will go to great lengths to arrange sumptuous dinners for friends and family. This may be a type of vicarious enjoyment, or eating "through" others. 

The renowned Minnesota Starving Experiment, which took place in the mid-1940s, revealed similar results. Semi-starved volunteers who lost more than 25% of their body weight became fascinated with food and eating. Several of the males became cookbook and recipe collectors, a habit that has also been observed in anorexics.

Dry Skin

Dehydrated skin that is dry and blotchy can indicate chronic anorexia or bulimia. "Regular purging and laxative use might dehydrate you severely," Bulik warns. In persons with eating disorders, dry skin isn't the lone sign of dehydration. 

Dry lips, sunken cheeks, and eyes, as well as severe electrolyte imbalances, are all possible side effects. The formation of calluses on the knuckles is another skin modification that is a telltale indicator of bulimia. 

These lesions are known as Russell's signs (after the psychiatrist who first reported them), and they are created by continuously rubbing the back of the hand against the teeth while vomiting.

Feeling cold

Feeling chilly is more commonly related to anorexia than bulimia or binge eating disorder, as it is a sign of malnutrition and low body fat. People with eating disorders are more likely to complain about being cold or to wear sweaters and other heavy garments even in warm weather. 

Body fat conserves energy and protects the body from the elements. People with too little body fat may struggle to maintain their body temperature, and in some situations, hypothermia may result. 

Cheeks Swollen

According to Bulik, swelling along the jawline is most commonly related to bulimia, although it can also occur with any eating disorder that involves purging. (Some anorexics purge to maintain their weight.) People with bulimia, unlike those with anorexia, are frequently of normal or even above-average weight.) 

The enlarged salivary glands cause puffy cheeks (parotid glands). According to Bulik, edema can occur at any stage of the sickness and is dependent on the person and how often they purge. 

Getting fixated on'safe' food

The hallmark of the condition known as orthorexia is a fixation with foods thought to be "safe" or "healthy." According to Bulik, orthorexia can occasionally be a stepping stone to full-blown anorexia nervosa, even though it is not an official diagnosis. 

Although those with orthorexia focus on food quality while those with anorexia focus on quantity, the two illnesses can sometimes overlap. Anorexics, for example, have an extremely restricted diet and prefer to consume the same items over and over again. "Cutting out things they used to like, or even entire food groups, is one of the early indicators of people developing an eating disorder," Bulik adds.

Rituals in eating

Eating disorders can cause compulsive behaviors similar to those seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Food can be sliced into tiny bits or arranged in certain patterns as part of these so-called rituals. 

They're most commonly connected with anorexia (which frequently coexists with OCD), but they can also be an early indication of binge eating disorder. According to Bulik, rituals are "both a tactic not to eat and an element of the obsessionality connected with anorexia nervosa." "When eating disorders first emerge, people often try to make it appear as though they are eating by chopping things up and rearranging food on the plate to hide how little they are eating."

Unusual food combinations

Binge eaters are noted for combining unusual ingredients in recipes like mashed potatoes and Oreo cookies, or potato chips with lemon, pork rinds, Italian dressing, and salt. People who make their own food concoctions are more likely to binge than people who simply overeat, according to a recent study. 

However, this conduct frequently occurs in private and provides yet another source of shame for the individual with the illness. According to the study's authors, guilt and disgust might intensify the illness.

Maudsley Health Eating Disorder Service

At Maudsley Health, what services do they provide?

Maudsley Health an Eating Disorder Treatment Clinic in Abu Dhabi believes in providing gold-standard, evidence-based care, and all of the therapies they provide follow the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) 2017 recommendations. 

Dr. Victoria Mountford, our Joint Head of Eating Disorder Service, has spent the last 20 years specializing in eating disorder research and treatment in the UK and has been involved in the development of both CBT-ED and MANTRA (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – Eating Disorder) (Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults). Our experts will discuss with you which treatment will best fit your needs during your assessment.

Family-Based Interventions for Young People with Anorexia Nervosa

They work with the young person and their family to help overcome anorexia utilizing family therapy combined with expert eating disorder knowledge, based on the Maudsley Model Family Therapy – Anorexia Nervosa (FT-AN) created at the Maudsley Hospital in London. They look at how the sickness has affected family life as well as behavioral changes. 

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – Eating Disorder (CBT-ED)

CBT-ED can be used to treat any form of eating issue. It entails creating a tailored therapy plan that tackles any harmful thinking patterns, emotions, or behaviors that have emerged. It can also help with issues including low self-esteem, perfectionism, and having a negative body image. CBT can also be used to treat ARFID in children, adolescents, and adults.

Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults (MANTRA)

MANTRA is a modularized treatment for anorexia with a workbook to go along with it. It focuses on anorexia and explores sustaining elements such as emotional and relational challenges, problematic thinking habits, and parts of identity. 

What can I do if someone in my family has an eating disorder?

We understand how scary and difficult it can be to have a son, daughter, partner, or another family member with an eating disorder. You may be concerned about what to say or do at home as a result of your eating issue. 

Parents are sometimes concerned that they will be blamed. Families, we believe, do not create eating disorders, but they are critical to rehabilitation. We like to include family members or carers in the therapy process whenever possible (working with you and your loved one to decide how best to do this).

What can I do as a teacher or school counselor?

Because eating disorders usually begin in adolescence, teachers and school counselors may be in a good position to identify and raise concerns. Eating disorders can make it difficult for a youngster to focus and study, as well as participate fully in school or university life. 

They may isolate themselves and avoid mealtimes. People do not recover from eating disorders on their own, according to research, and the sooner they seek help, the sooner they can begin to recover.

Where can I learn more?

Maudsley Health will be delighted to discuss the next steps with you. Please call (+971) 2610 7777 to schedule an appointment to discuss your options.

[snowpeawritings]

15. The Priestess

Philemon seems to enjoy seeing his Wild Cards live on with their lives…

insp.

Persona 4 Golden X FeMC!Reader

05/16/MON-After School | Yasogami High

“It was definitely Kanji Tatsumi. No doubt about it.”

The Midnight Channel had brought your team another sense of unease. The silhouette of the delinquent was still fresh in your mind. Even after the event where he saved you and Nanako from that creep, his ruthlessness and anger shown on TV and in the Midnight Channel still scared you.

“It would be difficult to warn a man such as he.” Izanami stated, crossing her arms. “The results could even lead to physical violence.”

Tomoe nodded towards her. “A feckless youth like he is bound to get violent when he sees us. If only I was corporeal I would have taught this runt a lesson.”

Jiraiya scoffed at her. “Bold words.”

“Anyway,” Chie interrupted, “he’s really scary, isn’t he? Did you see the news the other day?”

“Yeah, I saw it.” Yosuke replied.

“You mean the special on biker gangs?” Yukiko said. “I saw it, too.”

She then looked down. “She wasn’t like that when he was younger, though…”

When she said that, you all turned to her, surprise clearly written on each of your faces.

Chie was the first to break the silence. “You know him, Yukiko?”

She nodded at her. “Uh-huh, but we haven’t talked to each other in a long time. His family runs a textile shop, and we’ve been a customer of theirs for many years. So I speak with Kanji-kun’s mother from time to time.”

The memory of Kanji saving you and Nanako from that creep resurfaced. You looked over to Izanami and thankfully she understood your wary glance.

Yukiko continued. “Why don’t we go there now? We might be able to talk to him in person.”

“I agree.” Chie said. “Besides, we can ask if anything strange happened too.”

Konohana shivered. “Do you think he’ll murder us when he sees us?!”

Chie slumped. “I’m sure he’ll only murder us. Besides, he probably won’t hurt us inside his own home.”

“Then it’s settled.” Yosuke said in finality. “We’ll go there right now.”

He turned his head to you, looking for confirmation. You nodded.

“If all else fails,” Chie continued, “we hope that our Personas can clobber him using textiles!”

The rest of you except Tomoe (who looked proud) looked at her in shock.

05/16/MON-After School | Tatsumi Textile Shop

The textile shop was an old Japanese building, complete with paper sliding doors and tatami mats. The numerous textiles that were displayed all range from colorful patterns to normal colors. To you, it wasn’t anything special. But for the female Personas, they were ecstatic. Immediately as soon as you entered the shop, Izanami, Konohana Sakuya and even Tomoe made a beeline towards the numerous textiles being displayed. It was painful to have all of you keep your emotions in check when they attempted to pick them up. Even Chie had to choke back a scream when Tomoe picked up a yellow-colored textile.

Trying to keep your expression back to normal, you looked at the woman who attended the shop, only to see someone else talk to her.

The boy was wearing all blue, with a blue cap atop his head with blue hair peeking from below. His blue coat and plaid pants stood out from your uniforms as he turned to see your group. He only gave a little nod as he walked past your group.

“What’s up with him?” Yosuke asked as soon as he was out of the store.

Chie only shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Yuki-chan!” The older woman gasped. Your group immediately turned to her. She was an old woman but she still seemed youthful at heart, wearing a traditional kimono and sitting near the textiles. Immediately you have to bite back a scream when Izanami picked up a piece that was dangerously close to Kanji’s mother.

As calmly as you could, you and the group asked what you needed from the woman. Yukiko tried her best not to worry her by mincing her words but it would ultimately lead to Kanji being pictured as a rebel punk. You thought that this would warrant enough attention for your Personas to be brought back to normal but you see Izanami and Konohana dress Tomoe up in a scarf. At that point, you just gave up.

Speaking of Personas, Jiraiya was the only one who wasn’t as excited as the others. Instead, he looks at the textiles boredly, lingering his stare on the women for a little while before moving on. He notices a scarf hanging near them and he immediately floats over to it. Without thinking, he decided to grab it outright and wear it around his neck. Red did always suited him well and combined with the white butterflies? He wasn’t an insect person but he had to admit the patterns looked so nice on him.

He sauntered to Yosuke, who was away from the group. “Hey, I look good in this, yeah?”

At first, it didn’t register with him. But when he realized it, he gasped and glared at Jiraiya. “Dude! You can’t just wear that thing when one of us isn’t a Persona user!” He whisper-yelled, not wanting to draw attention to him. Still, he decided to humor the frog and looked at the scarf. In that moment, he felt a sense of deja vu.

“This scarf…” He muttered. “Hey, Chie, c’mere a sec.”

The girl turned to him and gasped at the sight of Jiraiya wearing one of the scarves of the store. She hurried to them and dragged Jiraiya down by his scarf so it wouldn’t be obvious.

“The hell is wrong with you?!” She whisper-screamed at him. “Are you trying to cause her a heart attack?!”

“You can pummel him later, Chie.” Yosuke intervened. “But look at the scarf he’s wearing.”

Ignoring Jiraiya’s choking, she looked at the scarf. Like Yosuke, it brought her a sense of deja vu until it hit her. “We saw this inside the TV!”

At that moment, you and Yukiko turned to the two. Jiraiya was down on the ground, trying to catch his breath while Yosuke and Chie sheepishly held the scarf in their hands.

“Oh?” The woman asked them. “Do you want to buy that scarf?”

Yosuke tried to ignore your glare. “No but um… Did Ms. Yamano happen to have a scarf like this?”

The woman tilted her head. “Ms. Yamano? Why yes. It was a special order she placed.”

The team’s eyes widened. Chie took the time to return the scarf where it belonged as the woman continued her story. “She actually ordered a pair, but in the end, she said she only wanted the women’s scarf. It left us with no choice but to sell this one separately.”

Izanami, Konohana, and Tomoe were still blissfully trying out the textiles.

“… How the hell did you three manage to scrape by with some scarves?”

You stared aghast at the female Personas-each sporting a scarf that matched their clothes and tied to where they liked it: Izanami wearing a black and yellow scarf that replaces her usual white neck scarf beneath her coat, Tomoe with a green scarf that matched Chie’s jacket wrapped around her bicep, and Konohana with a red scarf with pink petals wrapped around her neck.

“Don’t worry!” Konohana said to you. “Izanami managed to get money from you to pay the scarves!”

“She did what.”

Your Persona chuckled when you sent her a death glare. “Consider this as a gift for us women.”

Yosuke said your name. “You can strangle Izanami later but we need to reconsider this entire case.”

The adrenaline from running away from Kanji after hearing his dilemma on going to school after a long time still thrummed within you but you calmed yourself down. “Okay… Let’s figure this out one more time.”

He nodded. “Remember the common points we were talking about? His mom fits the pattern. She’s a woman, and she knew Ms. Yamano. But it was her son who appeared on TV… So what does that mean?”

You pondered for a moment. “Kanji is definitely the target. The Midnight Channel wouldn’t lie.”

Yukiko nodded at you. “That’s right. Maybe it’s similar to my case because of my mother. She fits the criteria more than me yet I was the one targeted.” “Does that mean it’ll be the kid again instead of the mother?” Chie asked. “But if that’s true, then the killer’s motive makes no sense at all. It’d have nothing to do with silencing witnesses or revenge or anything.”

“Y’think we’re on the wrong track?” Yosuke questioned. “Maybe even the first case had nothing to do with grudges or revenge. Or is there some kind of secret in the textile shop itself…?”

“Unlikely.” Jiraiya piped up from behind Yosuke.

“Oh, you’re alive.”

“Can it, woman. Anyway, I did a whole check around the building. I can confirm there’s no hidden passageways or traps or anything in that building.”

“How do you know that?” Yosuke asked him incredulously.

“Dude,” Jiraiya tested the word and you had to bite back a laugh on how uncomfortable he looks. “I am a ninja. The greatest ninja, might I add. I searched the damn place like a madman. I can confirm there’s nothing wrong with the store.”

Yukiko hummed. “Either way, we can’t just ignore it.”

Tomoe spoke up. “Didn’t we hear that runt talk with the hat-wearing boy? Maybe we’ll find our answers there.”

“Oh yeah!” Yosuke said. “It’s his first time going to school after the new year. It would be really suspicious if he just showed up at school out of nowhere.”

“Then it’s settled.” Izanami stated. “We’ll intercept Kanji Tatsumi after school and see where that takes us.”

The idea sounds good enough. But with two loudmouths on your team, you were sure this stakeout would become a disaster.

Chie practically vibrated where she stood. “A stakeout? Oh, I’m excited!”

“Don’t get too excited.” You chided her. “We need to be quiet if we want to get answers.”

You looked at the team, seeing that they’re all in agreement with the plan. “Let’s rest up. We have a big day ahead of us and there’s no telling what’s in store.”

They all nodded. All of you were ready to figure out the case.

05/17/TUE-After School | Tatsumi Textile Shop

Underneath the torii gate by the shrine, you waited patiently for Yukiko to come back. Your foot tapped idly against the concrete, your eyes watching the shop but occasionally fleeting over to Izanami. Her clawed fingers kept fiddling with her new scarf and despite the mask, she looked happy wearing it.

You’ve elected to ignore the hole in your wallet (both metaphorically and physically). “You seem happy wearing that.”

She stopped her fiddling and looked at you. “I am. It’s not often I get to have a luxury such as this.”

Your mind thought back to her memories as a goddess. She clearly was not the real goddess that you’ve read and yet she retains memories of the real one. Hell, even Jiraiya said he had memories of him being a ninja and Tomoe saying that she was in war once. If they’re having deja vu being important figures of Shinto lore, then it doesn’t make sense that they’re here under your beck and call.

Remembering what you’ve read, you decided to ask her. “Izanagi doesn’t bring you gifts?”

She flinched. You watched her with widened eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”

Izanami clutched her scarf and you feared her fingers would leave holes. “It’s-It’s nothing. Just… When you said that name I-I felt so… scared. Yet so angry I…”

Your arm raised up awkwardly, wanting to comfort her but before you could, Yukiko and Konohana came back with drinks. You turned to her and Izanami composed herself like she didn’t have a breakdown.

You have to bring this up one day.

“Here.” Yukiko said, handing you the drink that you wanted. Grabbing it, you thanked her as you uncapped it.

She looked at the shop. “Nothing seems to be happening, which is good. Though we can’t be too comfortable.”

Konohana visibly shook. “You think the killer will come by?”

Izanami comforted her by placing a hand on her shoulder. “If they do, I’m here to protect you.”

“We’re here to protect you two.” You corrected, giving Izanami a side-eye glance. “Don’t worry too much.”

Yukiko blushed lightly. “Th-Thanks… I’m counting on you two.”

She looked back at the store then looked down at her drink. “It would be scary if they did show up… But I’ll do what I can if they do. You all saved my life… I don’t want to be the only one doing nothing.”

You said nothing, not wanting to break her spiel. As if she realized that, she jumped up from her stupor. “Oh! I’ve been rambling again, aren’t I? I’m sorry, I’m just so nervous…”

Without thinking, you punched her shoulder lightly. “Don’t worry about it for the last time, Yukiko. You and Konohana are a valuable asset to the team just like any of us. Don’t start belittling yourself because of what happened in the TV World.”

From your words, you can see the immediate effect. Both Yukiko and Konohana’s eyes shined at your praise and you inwardly gulped. Is this what Jiraiya meant?

“I… Thank you,” Yukiko said your name, “it’s strange. Normally, I’m so confident when talking to other girls and yet… You make me feel like I can do anything. No wonder I’m having so much fun hanging out with you, Chie and Yosuke.”

Thou art I… And I am thou

Thou hast established a new bond…

It brings thee closer to the truth…

Thou shalt be blessed when creating Personas of the Priestess Arcana…

Persona Time

“… You two are ridiculous.”

Tomoe said dryly, looking at her master and Yosuke hiding behind a tree as they scouted Kanji and the mystery boy. If she was alive, she would’ve felt her soul leave her body from how absolutely cringe it was to see them huddle behind a goddamn tree like they were reenacting a comedy skit in a play.

“I don’t know Tomoe,” Jiraiya said, leaning his elbow on her shoulder, “maybe he likes it-”

The pained yelp didn’t deter the teens who were still watching Kanji. Despite that, Yosuke sighed and removed himself away from Chie. “This is ridiculous… Some stakeout this is…”

Chie got up from the ground and placed her hands on her hips. “You think the others are having any luck?”

He shrugged. “If the killer does show up there, then…”

He trailed off, thinking about what he was about to say. If the killer did show up, then…

He suddenly had an itch on his leg. Like he was about to hightail it out of the park and sprint towards the textile store. But he held it back down, for your sake. He knew you were tough, you can make it out of there, right?

“Hey, earth to Yosuke.” Chie said, snapping her fingers to shake him out of his daze. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Huh?!” He stammered, feeling that his face warmed all of a sudden. “N-Nothing! Besides, pipe down, we’re on a stakeout!”

She was taken aback by his voice and scoffed. “Geez, it’s not like we’re close to them or anything. Besides, I wanna ask a question.”

He crossed his arms, not liking where this is going. “Go ahead.”

“How are you with ____?” She asked innocently. “You two are closer than the last time I saw you two.”

He immediately choked and averted his eyes from her questioning gaze. His hand flew to his face to cover the blush as he tried to come up with a response. “Chie! Wh-Where did that come from?!”

“Like I don’t see you going ‘partner this’ ‘partner that’ everytime we go inside the TV World! I swear, I feel like there’s something going on between the two of you that I don’t get!”

He choked once more but before he could respond, Jiraiya swooped in the middle and shoved Yosuke away. “Oh, green lady, the amount of times that Yosuke is hopelessly pining for ____! It’s disgusting really, but I don’t blame him one bit with that body!”

“Jiraiya/Frog!” Both Yosuke and Tomoe exclaimed, one in embarrassment and one in anger.

Chie laughed triumphantly. “So there is something going on! Oh man, I wonder how she’s gonna reject you like Yukiko did with you!”

“R-Rejection already?!” Yosuke screamed. The word felt heavy in his heart but he covered it up as much as he could. “Now you listen here–”

“Hey!” A voice called out. Immediately they could feel fear grip their hearts. “The hell are you two doin’ there?!”

Sad to say, the mission failed.

[nerdygaymormon]

Sometimes I really hate being Bi. I know know the Church is true and I'll never leave it, but man is it a struggle. I started to think I was Bi on my Mission, and wow, that was scary. Ever since I got home, little over a year ago, I feel like I'm attracted to women more and more and I hate it. (I know I'm Bi and not Lesbian.) I see a cute gal, and I want cuddles and dates, and so many other things, but I can't act on it. (Especially since I'm at BYUI.) Do you have any tips on not hating yourself

Everyone has some things about themselves they don’t like or about which they’re hyper-critical. Often these are about not living up to our ideals, actions we wish we had or hadn’t done, not living up to some societal ideal, about a failure in our life. This is normal and part of being human. 

Queer people in particular must deal with self-hatred that goes beyond just a normal part of being human. We grow up hearing negative messages about people like us and we internalize those messages. And often we have an inner voice that is authoritative and may sound like our parents or religious leaders and thus when it speaks to us, that voice gives those messages extra heft. These things cause us to see ourselves as lesser and to feel shame over our feelings and how we experience life. 

An important part of unraveling this self-loathing is to recognize the negative messages, refute them, and replace them. 

For example, your world won’t end just because you’re bi. Some people may view you differently if they find out, but a lot of people will continue to respect and love you. Perhaps you’ll lose some people, but you will not lose everything and everybody you care about.

That’s recognizing and refuting the negative messages, now let’s replace them. Being bi is a wonderful part of what makes me the person I am and I’m lucky because it brings many important gifts into my life. I can find beauty and love that others miss. 

When you’re at church or school and hear a negative message about queer people, push back against it. You can raise your hand and speak up. If you’re not feeling brave in that moment, it’s okay, and explain to yourself why that comment was wrong and replace it with a positive comment. 

Another thing you may have heard is that being gay or bi is a choice or the result of a lack of faith or some other reason. Fact is that it’s biological and a natural part of this world. This is literally how we’re made. 

Associate with other LGBTQIA people. 

I always feel so much better after I’ve been with other queer people. Being with them helps fight the things I was taught about the queer community, I can see & experience that they are normal people. They are fun, loving, caring, and supportive, exactly the opposite of what I’d been told. You can attend USGA-Rexburg and there’s a new resource center going up in town. 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spends quite a bit of time teaching and celebrating early pioneers. It’s quite a legacy and something to be proud of. The same is true of the queer community, we have amazing pioneers. We are a brave people. You have claim to two incredible legacies. Read about some of our queer Mormon heroes of the last decade.

Shame withers in sunshine

If you’re not yet out to friends and family, that’s okay, you have a blog and can write about your experiences and thoughts online. You can also find & connect with other queer Mormons. 

One thing I’ve experienced, which has surprised me is that as I write and post about things of which I was embarrassed, the shame associated with them goes away. By sharing with others, it is no longer a secret that needs to be hidden, but something I’m taking ownership of. 

If you’re awesome on paper, then you’re awesome in person

I used to know that I could write things on paper about myself that would sound great, but I didn’t have positive feelings about them. That person on the paper looked good, but somehow I didn’t have those same feelings about myself. I was the first person in my family to get a college degree, I now have an MBA, I served a mission, I am the favorite uncle in my family, I play the piano, I am kind and trusted and so on. 

Learn to draw boundaries

Often when we don’t feel great about ourselves, we make up for that by seeking the approval of others, more so than is usual or healthy. We end up agreeing to do things we may not want to do just so that we seem agreeable and worthy of their approval, even from people we don’t care about that much. There is power in being able to say “no.” Schedule time to get your school work done, to participate in activities you enjoy, in having time for friends, for contributing to the community. You can agree to spend time helping others with things they want, but protect your boundaries and don’t overstretch yourself. 

Boundaries also are important when it comes to people and messages you associate with. Try to find allies and queer people that you can associate with. Even if you’re not “out,” you can present yourself as an ally and be with people who express positivity about queerness. 

You don’t have to accept everything you hear at church, what church leaders have said, or even all the “doctrine.” Church leaders have been tragically wrong in the past, they are not perfect conveyers of the love of our Heavenly Parents. You don’t have to believe the terrible things taught about LGBTQ people. I know this is easier said than done. It helps if you’ve experienced God’s love for you, or if you’ve thought about how illogical it would be for loving Heavenly Parents to send queer children to earth with no way for them to express who they are or to have happiness. We are supposed to experience joy in this life. 

Take care of your health

When I met with a psychologist because I was suicidal and also wanted help with my internalized homophobia and low-self esteem, the first things we discussed were if I was getting enough sleep, was I eating a healthy diet, was I getting exercise. Our physical well-being contributes to our mental well-being. Sometimes a good cry is what I need to express the feelings I’m having, followed by a nap, then I feel much better. 

Allow for growth and forgiveness

We all learn and change and grow. As others grow in understanding and do better, allow them the grace of forgiveness by recognizing things said by their past selves were said in ignorance and recognize the growth they’ve undergone. This also applies to you and your past self. 

A common exercise that helps is to think of what you would say to someone else in a similar position. So often we speak of love and acceptance and not being hard on themselves, and it’s pretty great advice which we could apply to ourselves. Another exercise is to have a picture of our younger self, or even of just some young person around ages 5~12, and know that they are going to grow up queer, what advice would you give them? You deserve the same compassion, kindness and love that you show to others. 

Growth and change also happens to our faith. Here’s a post where I shared about faith transitions and I found it very helpful in understanding how I experience my faith is different from my family, it’s because we’re in different stages. 

Take pride in trying, not in failure or success

Coming out is freaking hard and takes a lot of courage. Like a lot of things in life, many people attempt to do this and then fail, they back down, the moment feels wrong, they get panicked, or whatever reason. Failure isn’t the worst thing, not trying is. And the more we try, the more successes we’ll eventually have. And once you have some wins under your belt, it gets easier to do those things that were once hard. 

When being bi brings happiness, it’s easier to love this about yourself

For so many people, being queer is only associated with negative things in their life, but when you can start associating it with positive things it becomes easier to accept and love this part of yourself. When you have queer friends, when you have experienced the excitement of a crush on a boy and on a girl, when you go on dates, or someone sends a message that your posts about your feelings really helped them, those positive experiences will be associated with being bi. 

Add voices and writings that affirm you and your experiences

So often scriptures are used as a weapon against queer people. A lot of people think they know what the Bible says about queer people based on a few verses pulled out of context, but they’ve not put in any real study to the original language, situation or what those verses read like when put back in context. Nor are they aware that there’s also positive scriptures about queer people. I put together a collection of things I learned that I hope will help others. 

This year I’ve really been enjoying the Beyond the Block podcast, which has a Black man and a gay man discuss each week’s Come, Follow Me lesson. I also have liked the Faithful Feminists podcast. Both of those podcast highlight principles and concepts from the scriptures which are important for marginalized people. 

Find blogs, podcasts, books, videos, lectures, classes, twitter accounts and whatever else that helps affirm you and helps you understand yourself.

[lovinlikeloki]

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 04

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2.4k

King T'Challa agreed to let us stay here for a few days so that we can both recover from our fight and figure out our next move. Rogers, however, told us not to take too long, T'Challa is being very benevolent and we shouldn't risk our safety or the cleanliness of his reputation.

We've already discussed vague ideas of where we're going and who with. Splitting up is obviously the best idea, divide and conquer, and all that. Clint and Scott are going back to their families, with any luck they'll be able to negotiate for some sort of house arrest deal, but it won't be so easy for the rest of us.

The captain and Wilson are planning on sticking together, maybe go through Europe. Romanoff is planning on doing her own thing, as she usually does. Wanda is also planning on Europe, and with any hope she'll take me with her. We're still a bit awkward after our conversation in the bedroom but we're just kinda pretending it never happened. Right now I'm just discussing my plans with Wanda.

"What's your plans Fi?" she asks me.

"I was hoping to come with you Wands," I reply.

"No, absolutely not. That is not happening."

"Why the hell not? I can't go home; they have my information! And I don't want to hear the lecture that Shéa and Erin will have planned, they aren't my parents, not after they disowned me, but as legal guardians they'll have been informed."

"But Fia-"

"But nothing! I can't go back. They'll have talked to Orlaith by now, everyone knows she's my best friend. Not only that, but someone will have pointed them in Eoghan's direction and I especially can't endanger the pub. That is Eoghan's job, all the mercs' jobs, and I'm not going to take that away from them."

"Fianna I just want you to have a normal life. To be a normal teenager!"

"But I can't! Don't you get that? Ever since the damn experiments I can't be a normal teenager. My DNA has been ripped apart and rewritten, I'm not even human anymore. I'm not normal... and I never will be, not again."

"Well... I- I have an idea. Look you're not gonna like it but-"

"No."

"But I didn't even-"

"You just said I'm not gonna like it."

"Just listen Fianna," Wanda pleads.

"Fine. Go ahead," I roll my eyes.

"There's somewhere you can go. You'll be able to negotiate terms and you will be able to lead a somewhat normal life, wolf and all."

"It better not be-"

"Yes, it's Tony Stark."

"No. No way. There is no way I'm going to him of all people for help."

"Fianna please. He'll help you."

"No. He's the reason- Look Wanda, he's not in my good books. He wasn't before, and he sure as hell isn't now. Not after... not after last year."

"He can help you. He knows what you mean to me, what you meant to both of us. I've forgiven him, it's time that you do too," Wanda reasons.

"But he killed-" I trail off, tears starting to roll down my cheeks, "He's responsible for-"

Wanda moves closer, rubbing my back, letting me lean my head on her shoulder, "I know Fia, I know. He didn't though. He might've created Ultron, but he was trying to stop him too. He never meant for anyone to get hurt. Especially not Pi-"

"Don't," I jerk my head up, "No- na habair ainm s'aige! Ní dúirt- Ní dúirt mé é ó a bhfuair sé bás. Le do thoil— Wanda please."

(don't say his name! I haven't said— I haven't said it since he died. Please-)

"Okay, I won't say his name. But you won't even begin to move on, you won't begin to heal until you accept that he's gone."

I move back from her, shaking my head, "But he can't be. He just can't be gone. I already told you, he was my everything. I'm lost without him."

"But you weren't lost before him drăga, were you?" Wanda tries to reason with me.

(Darling)

"No," I wipe my tears away, "No I wasn't... but that was before all of this. Before the experiments. Before these powers. Before I met him. I can try to move on, I can, and say that maybe with time I do. But I'll always come back to him. Always love him. Always love him first. Before whoever I'm with. Whoever I marry. Whoever is the parent of my kids. They'll always be second best."

"I know, volk, I know," Wanda cradles my face in her hands, "But you will love again, maybe not as much, but you will," she wipes the tears still streaming down my face, "And while it won't be as strong it will still be as real. And no matter who it is, you know he'd be proud. You know that, right?"

(Wolf)

I nod my head, her hands moving with it before engulfing her in a hug. Wanda wraps her arms around my upper back and my head, soothing me like she did way back when. We stay like that for a minute or two and though it was a while before we pulled away it still felt too quick.

"And I'll always be here for you, fetiţa mea. Now, let's not dwell on the past, or on the future. Let us spend our time here making good memories, yeah?" Wanda smiles at me.

(My baby girl)

"Yeah," I breath, smiling back at her.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

I'm currently in Shuri's lab looking at all the cool tech she's made. She knows my skills and intellect and thought it would be cool if I got to look over her stuff and maybe even add stuff to it.

I get to browse the countertops with everything on them, the thing that sparks my interest most is the kimoyo beads. They are so freakin' cool.

I mean these thing can scan things, help heal people, control Wakandan tech, and they even make frickin' holograms! How cool is that?

"Ah, I see you've found the kimoyo beads," Shuri smiles when she sees them in my hand.

"Yeah, the tech is amazing, I mean I wouldn't even know where to begin making something like this. It's honestly incredible," I gush.

"Well, I could teach you how get started on advanced tech like this id you'd like," Shuri offers and I beam.

"Seriously?"

"Of course, I trust you, besides you're definitely capable."

"Okay then," I smile, "Where do we begin Múinteoir Shuri?"

(Teacher <prefix>)

Shuri then begins to teach me some little tips and tricks for basic tech that makes much more advanced in the long run. Just add an extra circuit here or just alter one you've already got and it takes your shit to a whole new level. Shuri might only be a little older than me but she's got some damn good skills.

She also asks me for suggestions for the new Panther Habit for T'Challa's new role as Black Panther. I give small ideas here and there but one that sticks is taking the shock absorbance to another level, redistributing the energy and making the shoes silent.

Its really nice to work with someone with Shuri's level of intelligence, she's like one of the smartest in the world. It's definitely better than the eejits (idiots) at school that I have to work with. While I'm nowhere near her level it's still good to be able to work with someone that knows what you're about to say before you even get the words out.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

After spending time in the labs with Shuri I go to the rest of the team. I'm kind of an outsider to them, they don't really know me and I don't really know them. I decide to try and approach one of them to try and... I don't know, bond? Or just become less of a stranger at least. I decide to go for who I deem the most approachable, Natasha Romanoff.

Now I know that you may think I'm crazy, thinking the easiest to approach is the fierce Black Widow, but my reasoning is somewhat solid. Romanoff was trained to read the room, read people and therefore she probably knows more about me than she lets on. We also share a somewhat similar background which while I wouldn't use as bonding material it means she can probably relate.

I sit down next to her and wait for her to make the first move, that way I won't force interaction and she can leave if the idea of it bothers her.

"Hey kid," Natasha begins.

"Hey," I reply.

"So, you're the kid Wanda always talks about," Natasha says absentmindedly.

"I guess I am. Wanda talks about me?"

"Oh all the time. She loves to talk about her little sister, the Volchitsa."

(She-wolf)

"Yeah... the irony of it all is almost comical."

"What irony," Natasha questions and I realise I hadn't explained.

"It's just my name," I shake my head, "Fianna, it's an Irish name. It has many meanings behind it depending on where you look, but the direct translation is what's funny."

"And why's it funny?" Natasha quirks an eyebrow.

"Because, what could be better for the girl who's a wolf than a name that means deer?"

Natasha nods, a small smile on her lips, "I do see the irony there. A predator named after her prey. But the Volchitsa is a good strong name, names are powerful things."

"They used to call me the Wölfin in HYDRA, another she-wolf nickname, this time in German, it was becoming feared. Black Widow is a strong name, also scary. A good name for a skilled agent though, the spider who eats her mate."

(She-wolf)

"I didn't get to choose that name," Natasha tells me, "It was chosen for me when I was even younger than you."

"Oh, I- I'm sorry," I stammer.

"Don't be. As you said, it's another strong name, a scary one too. The important thing is that the name Black Widow was once feared for bad reasons, now it's welcomed for good ones. Wölfin was feared because she was strong and could be used for bad reasons, use that or pick your own name that can be welcomed because she can use her skills for good."

I nod my head, slightly in thought, "I've had many names since getting my powers, Wölfin by HYDRA, Volchitsa by the twins, and back home the mercs, they called me an Mac Tíre. Again it means wolf, but this time in Irish, it feels more me but I can't use it anymore. Not if I'm going where Wanda wants me to."

"As I said, names are powerful. Having too many doesn't have to be a bad thing, it gives you options, I've had many aliases in my time, Natalia Alianova Romanova, Natalie Rushman, Nadia Roberts. It means that you can be whoever you want."

"...That's inspiring. Wölfin was a weapon, a child soldier, not someone I wanna be."

"Then don't be. Volchitsa was who the twins saw you as. A fluffball that they needed to protect," Natasha points out.

"Not her either, I'm different, I've changed since the twins- since Wanda last knew me," I correct myself but Natasha knows my slip up, she does, however, not bring it up.

"That currently leaves you with Mactíre."

"Yeah, the mercenary with a bite. I wasn't the only young merc but I'm the most memorable back home. Mactíre isn't feared per se, but she's respected and dangerous but kind, fiercely loyal."

"That sounds like someone I'd wanna be."

I look her in the eyes and can tell she's genuine, of course she is. The Mactíre is a good person, or at least she is now, her past isn't so good, a lot bloodier than it is now, but she's different. Natasha's right when she says that names have power. Mactíre is who I am now, maybe if I change again I'll use a newer name, or not, maybe I'll be a Mactíre mark II.

"Thanks Natasha, that means a lot," I tell her.

She nods before asking a question, "What did you mean when you said you couldn't be Mactíre where Wanda wants you to go?"

I internally sigh, I slipped up, she's Romanoff of course she didn't let it slide.

"I- Wanda wants me to go to Stark when we split. She thinks that he'll protect me and let me be normal. But he won't, he only protects himself."

"That's not true you know. That's actually the reason he signed the accords, he thinks we need to be put in check or we'll lose more lives than we save."

"Is that really the reason?" I quirk an eyebrow, "Or did someone say something and he feels the need to cover his ass?"

"That I can't answer. But he would protect you Fianna, he protected Wanda when Sokovia happened."

"Maybe, maybe he won't since I helped Steve. All I know is that he's hurt people I love and I don't forgive easy. Loyal remember? Fiercely loyal."

Natasha ponders what I've said for a moment before carefully choosing her words. "You make points, but I believe that he'll do the right thing. It'd be good for both of you, you'd get closure for the one's he's hurt and he'll get to face the consequences of his actions like he wants to. Besides, if you need somewhere to lay low I might now somewhere you can stay for a bit until you sum up the courage to face him."

"I- really?" I ask, unsure of whether or not she's kidding.

"Really," she confirms.

"Why?"

"I know what it's like to have to face something... especially your past, you need to build up to it."

"Thank you Natasha."

[yanderecandystore]

Yandere Teachers with a darling hiding a big secret. They can read minds and detest yanderes

You two had some pretty similar requests, and because I think I can't add much to each request alone, I think that putting both together will help me create something a little longer, ya know?

I'm really sorry for taking so long. I'm not feeling well and I'm currently visiting my boyfriend. I hope this headcanon is amazing anyway :3!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Mind Reader [Yandere!Teacher ocs x Lab Experiment!Reader - Headcanons]:

One of many lab subjects of Bright Vision Corporation. Probably one of the most interesting cases, as you didn't really start as an experiment like the many unfortunate souls walking around that place.

You were sended here for your odd condition, that no doctor seemed to have a good explanation for. Ever since you were a little baby, you not only looked pretty different from all children or even any human at all, you were able to read minds.

You were found in an alley, abandoned of course, after all, what crazy person would bring a screaming baby monster inside their house?

No dear, no one would. That's why the corporation found you first, and brought you to be studied.

It wasn't too easy to read minds like that, especially when you were younger, thoughts would always overlap with each other, especially if someone was talking while thinking, or was thinking in a different language.

Did ya know people speak to themselves in different languages sometimes? It's so bizarre, but probably not the craziest thing you ever heard.

Sometimes you saw amazing people that you know could never hurt a fly, think about the most morally questionable things.

Oh, and those intrusive thoughts…. People can be really interesting… But can ya really blame humans? I mean, yeah, we all have those thoughts, no matter who or what we are.

You can easily mix with any humans, when you were younger your monster aspects were way more visible. Today you only have a small patch of rough skin that almost imitates scales in random areas, and a little horn that has never fully developed.

It's so small, it hides on your hair.

They have told you they would find your family, that eventually, you would be reunited with people like you… But even when they're aware of supernatural beings walking around the town, they haven't found your family at all, or even monsters even close to you.

They have learned how to keep their minds from being constantly read by you, and you have started to learn how to ignore certain thoughts, but even with so much care, you still found out about the lies that they have told you.

Or rather, the promise they can't ever hold up to.

They have promised that they would reunite you with your family, that you would be able to enjoy a normal life out there. You remember hearing them thinking about their plans on the weekends and it all sounds so fun and different from the gray walls inside the facility.

You escaped the facility around night time, after they had checked every subject before locking the whole thing, you almost didn't make it, but the worst part comes when you're suddenly overwhelmed by voices and thoughts all around you.

Your first experience with the outside world after such a long time, is honestly pretty horrendous. The city is way too noisy from what you thought it was.

Even if you really try, you can't ignore some much noise. Your perfect escape soon turns out to be a failure, as you feel too overwhelmed and in a matter of seconds, you drop unconscious.

→ Madeline Allen:

Madeline would probably see you walking around town while looking extremely overwhelmed by everything and everyone around you. Poor thing.

Wait, is that… A patient's vest? Did you just get out of a hospital? Who is taking care of you?

Well, clearly they're not doing a good job at assisting you.

Maybe she shouldn't be so nosy in everyone's business- Oh my God, you're dead!

I mean, sorry, not dead, she just got really scared when you fell unconscious. As she is a momma at heart, of course she'll run straight in your direction to see if you're okay.

Oh God, what can she do? The next hospital isn't really that close to you two. But what else would she do? Take a total stranger to her home, just because is the nearest option and is night time already?

No one seems to be really caring or wanting to help, thinking as if she already has everything under control. And no, she totally doesn't.

Can you guess what was the option that she picked? It was literally the worst one.

Bringing you home not only would get her in trouble but you would probably be mad at her for not taking you to a hospital, but she just- Freaked out, okay?

Yes, we bring people without their consent to our houses.

Madeline is absolutely nervous and is panicking at each second you're still unconscious. She could have brought an patient that had just gotten out of an asylum, or a patient that got out of the hospital without any company, or literally anything!

I like to imagine that in a situation like this, both of you could get in massive trouble if either of you ever get caught. I mean, she brought you to her home without your permission and without knowing anything about you, and you're part of a government research to locate and understand supernatural phenomenons.

Maybe you two can come into an agreement. She doesn't mind letting you in her house and letting you leave there, but she also wants to know more about you. You thank her for letting you stay, you promise her to get out as soon as you find out more about who you are and what you are.

I mean, knowing monsters are real scares her to no end, she doesn't like the sound of something crawling out of her bed at night. But you're so… Nice! 'You're not a toothy scary monster! You're honestly pretty cute.'

Oh, you have never really heard that, did you? Even by hearing someone think about you this way can be so nice.

Maybe she isn't aware of what you can do just yet, but she can tell that you're… odd.

' What a cute little horn, and those scales, they seem almost as hard as steel!' She is fascinated by them.

Madeline's thoughts are always positive and always complimenting you. You won't tell her that you know what she is thinking though, as you're afraid your relationship would start to get awkward or you stop being friends.

She treats you so well, and helps you understand more about the human world outside of the lab. She'll try her best to help you find out more about your past, especially of you being her along with ya, she is really curious about you.

And also because you may get lost and taken away if she isn't with ya. You probably would need some help either way since you don't even know where to start.

Weeks have passed and you probably still have no idea of where you should go. You didn't find any clues of where to find your family. Everything started to get a little off between you two.

Madeline is a sweetheart, but… You started to feel weird around her. Her thoughts weren't more of encouragement, but rather glee from the fact you weren't finding anything about other monsters.

She thinks that it is wrong of her to wish ill towards you, but she really wishes you don't find a need to get out of the house anymore. She thinks you're safer this way.

You thank her for her kindness every day but this is too much! You can't live with her forever.

Day by day, her thoughts are starting to sound so… Twisted. You need to get away from this place.

You were starting to feel sick at how her thoughts started to sound obsessive, until one day, you couldn't help pretending you weren't listening anymore.

'What would they like to eat today? Maybe I cook something special. They have been behaving so well lately.'

"- I don't want to eat anything that comes from you. I'm not your pet that needs to behave!"

→ Matthew Robinson:

You didn't have anywhere to go, the amount of thoughts invading your mind, and the fact that some many people were around you was starting to make you feel like a deer in headlights.

You don't remember exactly how, but while trying to get away from the general crowd you ended up falling inside someone else's backyard. That someone else being him of course.

It's oddly not the first time someone randomly popped up in his backyard, but it's not exactly something he expected to happen that night. Come on, he had a bad day already, what else can happen?

Oh yeah, a hospital patient unconscious around the garden, that's kinda nice isn't it?

Oh dear… You're lost aren't you? Now, he normally is a really logical person, even if you look hurt and probably really cold, he shouldn't think with his heart but rather his head.

So he is bringing you inside. Yeah, that's totally the most normal conclusion when finding a stranger unconscious in your home. Is totally normal.

He tries to make you comfortable while seeing if he can call someone to take you back to the hospital you came from. Maybe you came from the nearest hospital, or maybe the police could bring you back to your home.

Until then he should probably take care of you… Oh, wait a minute. This doesn't seem like wounds. It's just skin, a really rough skin.

You wake up in an instant, probably from hearing his constant worries. On the outside, he is a really calm and collected man, on the inside he is panicking as he doesn't know what to do.

You ask him where you are and who he is, and when the thought of calling the police crosses his mind you stop him in his tracks and tell him, beg him to let you stay at his home until you can find out who and what you are.

' Well, this probably isn't going to end well… At least I hope you find out what you're looking for.'

His mind is filled with somewhat hopeful thoughts, despite how bonkers he thinks the situation is.

You didn't tell him, in fear of him not accepting your condition. After all, it's kinda a bit of an invasion of privacy. Matthew treats you well enough, he teaches you what you don't know about society and let's you do your research in the condition of you being in his company.

It's such an odd situation, you gotta give him some credit for being so curious about you and your background. He asks you if werewolves exist too, maybe the stories his mother told him were true.

But of course, you don't really know what an werewolf is, as the corporation has never found one to do their research. Matthew ends up telling you about all the possible monsters that you could find out there.

He is really neutral about it, but every little new detail you hear is amazing! It seems like there are so many people like you out there.

Weeks have passed and you probably still have no idea of where you should go. You didn't find any clues of where to find your family. Everything started to get a little off between you two.

Whenever you're out looking for clues, and don't find anything useful, Matthew decides you two should take a break right there and go home. You two started to spend less and less time on your search.

Matthew thinks that, maybe, staying with him isn't so bad. And you agree, it isn't! But you can't live with him forever!

Day by day, his thoughts are starting to sound so… Twisted. You need to get away from this place.

You were starting to feel sick at how her thoughts started to sound obsessive, until one day, you couldn't help pretending you weren't listening anymore.

' I wonder if they want to wear new clothes. Mine probably aren't that comfortable anyway. I bet they look amazing in that outfit I saw today.'

"- I- I don't want to wear that! That just… That's not me! You can't force me to put that on!"

Both reactions to learning about your secret would be to be horrified. Have you… Heard every single one of their thoughts? Every single one? The ones they have at work, the ones they have when they come home and see you, the ones they have before bed??

Oh dear, oh dear, their shock would be so powerful that you could literally run out of the house right there at that moment.

But even if you escape, they'll guarantee that they'll find you soon enough. They weren't careful enough, they need to bring you back home.

It's not safe out there.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[silverselfshippingchaos]

[Dorky-self-shipper] Free Pass to talk about any s/i you want? 👀

Thank you so much for this @dorky-self-shipper!!! Made me smile a LOT!!!

The FF7 world has been living in my head rent free ever since I played Remake for the first time. So I’m gonna talk about my FF7 s/i. She’s... really something. She’s not completely fleshed out yet, but I still think she’s pretty cool. 

Let’s gooooooooo!

My self insert for the ff7 world is a Turk working under Shinra Inc. Shinra are the villains for the most part, and the Turks do some pretty morally-gray stuff for them.  She looks pretty much identical to me/my fe3h s/i. Tan skin, red glasses, black hair, and the signature Turks suit. She doesn’t have anything too special going on with her suit. Just a white shirt along with a black tie, a black coat, and black pants paired with some black boots. She occasionally leaves the buttons on her blazer open.  She’s also pretty short (I’m around 5’2 😭). Tseng and Rude both stand at around 6 feet, so she always looks pretty small next to them. 

Since she’s a Turk, she sometimes has to fight her way out of sticky situations.  Her main weapon of choice is the same as my fe3h s/i! She’s a spellcaster!

She’s a Materia specialist and fights using different kinds of orbs of Materia, and is always sure to keep many on her so she’s always prepared. She mainly keeps elemental types of Materia with her, but she’s sure to keep some healing ones along with a Time Materia. She’s not against a few summons either. She has a little belt of them that she wears because carrying around that many fragile glass-like orbs without it + her clumsiness? ...Yikes.  (Also she can, will, and does do the fe3h Trickster thing where she shoots magic out of fingerguns. One of my favorite classes in the game for sure. Felix in a suit with fingerguns is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.) 

She doesn’t use a physical weapon very often whatsoever, but when she does, it’s usually a handgun. Swords are cool and she likes them. She’s not too skilled with then and isn’t keen on the sight of injury, but she has an admiration. They’re usually too bulky for her to keep on her suit, though, so she usually just has her Materia along with a gun. Please don’t be surprised if she whips out a sword every now and then though. She sometimes pairs her Materia with her gun as well because ✨elemental bullets✨

One of my headcanons (but wait.. if it’s my s/i... wouldn’t that be canon...? anyways-) is that Materia can be embedded in tattoo ink which is then applied to the body to infuse the person with the power of that Materia very slightly. Now, it can’t be anything major because in the Turks side game, one of the characters has shards of Materia in her arm, and it slowly eats away at her life force. So let’s, uh, avoid that. I like to think that maybe (I’m still thinking about this one) Ash has some very small hand-tattoos embedded with either Cure or Fire Materia. The Cure one helps her both cure very small wounds on herself and/or on others when she doesn’t have her full Cure orb on her. As for the Fire one, there’s a lot of handy situations in which just a little bit of fire can be useful, so that’s that. Again, this is just a thought, but I think it’s pretty goddamn cool! Also would explain why I’m so tired all the time lmao!

Also Materia is pretty and I love it. The colors are interesting too. 

Adding onto that, she also really likes jewelry. Materia infused jewelry was something I thought of, but I’m not quite sure about that? She already has a wide assortment on her, so I think she would just settle for normal jewelry. Just like many of the other Turks, she’s always wearing small earrings. However, on missions where she can’t have all her gear on her, she will have Materia infused jewelry. Also, sometimes it’s just cute so. It depends on the day. Also! Since part of the uniform is gloves (she prefers fingerless), she doesn’t really get a chance to wear rings, unfortunately. When she’s not wearing gloves, though, she usually has some rings on. 

Is part of the Turks initiation process a trip to Claire’s?

I like to think that she’s pretty friendly and that she gets along well with her team. She’s either very serious or a total goofball depending on the situation. Expect many bad puns and snarky comments. She tries her best to fulfil her duties as a Turk, but they can sometimes be difficult for her since her emotions can sometimes cloud her judgement. She’s a very emotional person. The Sector 7 Job screws her up quite a bit. I’m not sure if she’s a Turk then or not, but just knowing that her team was responsible for that many deaths puts a bitter taste in her mouth. 

When combat can be avoided, she will take that route. She’s no pacifist, she would just prefer to do things with her words than with her flames. However, there are exceptions to this (*coughs in Don Corneo* She will gladly rip that man apart.) When she’s not on the active field during missions, she’ll stay back with Tseng and go through information, helping him guide the team. Her and Tseng are pretty close, despite being so different. 

Being completely honest, one of her favorite parts of her position is having access to so much information. She enjoys reading a lot, along with gaming. 

As for relationships with her team, they’re all pretty strong. 

Her and Tseng have some differing values, but they get along fairly well. She’s very cautious about her wording around him at first. He’s a scary guy, and him being leader doesn’t help. He can be very cold sometimes, but he’s a good listener. She relaxes around him eventually, and he becomes someone who she goes to very often for support. I like to think that she goes to him after the Sector 7 situation to talk about her feelings about it. I also think that he may have been the one who recruited her into the team in the first place? She owes a lot to him, and looks up to him a lot. Learning about how caring he was when he was younger only increases her admiration. She sometimes doesn’t agree with some of his more twisted logic, but she also understands that he has duties to fulfil and a team to manage. He’s trying his best to comfort them. 

Her and Reno are bros. Reno brings out her more wild side, and those two together are the very definition of chaotic. They’re always cracking jokes with each other and for them, being together is a blast. He was one of the first who reached out to her back when she was still new on the team, and when Rude isn’t available, he talks to her a lot. He appreciates how easy she is to talk to. They share the same braincell, and their jokes are very stupid. Their team missions are pretty fun. I also like to think that they play video games together in their free time! I love their friendship SO much!!! Ash definitely has her smarter moments, and is very knowledgeable on a lot of things, but together, they share a singular braincell.  An important thing to add about them is that sometimes she can be a bit of a mom-friend towards him when they’re not fooling around? She knows when enough is enough and when to rein him in. They both have their more serious moments, and their understanding of each other definitely helps on more serious missions. In a nutshell, they’re just two bros and I love them a lot. They understand each other.  Also, their fighting styles compliment each other quite a bit, so that’s fun. 

Ash and Rude is a friendship I really appreciate. Rude is not a man of many words, and Ash is very talkative. However, you quickly learn that Rude is very caring and prefers to show his affection in smaller gestures and actions. It takes a while for Rude to become more open with her, but it happens. He always listens to her rambles and although he might not say much, he remembers every single detail. She reminds him a bit of Reno, and he’s been dealing with a Reno for the past 7-some years. Their relationship is very wholesome, and Ash always encourages him to voice his thoughts. Also, he gives very good hugs when she needs them. She’s very sensitive and can be very affected by some of the stuff she sees while on duty, and he’s very protective of her. Her attitude and rambles confuse Rude sometimes, but he tries to be a good friend. Also they can kick ass together big time.  In conclusion, Rude and Ash = big soft hours. 

Okay, let’s talk about Ash and Elena. Elena is a character that I personally adore so much because it took me a while to like her. My initial reaction to playing the original ff7 and seeing her was simply, “Oh, great. Yes, make the only female Turk super clumsy and shit at her job- And give her no personality outside of that and crushing on Tseng. I mean, mood, and same, but really?”  But then I researched the Turks game.  (I have yet to read the novels btw)

And I realized that me and Elena are similar in so many ways other than being very clumsy and simping for Tseng (he’s hot, okay- then again, I simp for all the Turks. they are VERY fine.) We have very similar personalities, constantly want to punch things, and also have similar relationships with being the youngest sibling. I really understand Elena and I love her. You look into her character and realize that she’s super strong and dependable, smart and gorgeous. She’s amazing. 

Ash and Elena, like I said, are pretty similar in terms of personality. So they really understand each other and get along very well!! They’re very close friends, and kinda live on the same mental wi-fi. They click very well on first meeting, and that click stays for very long time and only gets stronger as time passes. Ash feels as though she can discuss anything with her because Elena gets it. Also, missions in which they’re paired up together are always fun. They’re both pretty smart, but have a tendency to let their emotions cloud (heh, cloud-) their judgment. But when they’re together, they can keep each other check and in turn, kick ass together. They also have a mutual hatred for Don Corneo. I hate that man. Fighting together is pretty fun since Ash can stay back and spam her spells while Elena punches the crap out of their target.  In conclusion, these two are very close and they’re besties. They have a mutual understanding of each other in a lot of different fields. 

Thank you SO much for the opportunity to spill my thoughts about this, my friend!! Was a very very fun time! The Turks are always living in my head, so I’m glad to speak about them anytime. This definitely helped me organize my thoughts a bit and helped sorta motivate me to write about Ash and her Turk friends?? I can feel my half-written Felix fics in my drafts glaring at me, but regardless, I’m very excited. They have a super fun dynamic.  Thanks for listening!

[krysyuy]

I think the ending of Episode 2 would be more impactful if the episode hadn’t just convinced me of the opposite, haha. Like maybe I’m being a clown, but I don’t think it’s him??? Also the deal with the foreman doesn’t seem to be as clear-cut either. At that point, I think their dad was already dead, so the foreman probably preyed on the sister, knowing the siblings were vulnerable. I see two scenarios if that’s the case. 1) The sister killed him in self-defense and Hee Sung is covering for her, or 2) Hee Sung came to her rescue and killed him. Though the foreman could’ve gone after Hee Sung, I suppose, and the sister stumbled upon the scene. Whatever the case, the siblings parted ways afterwards and that’s the blank time that still needs to be filled in. As for the restaurant guy/his old colleague, Hee Sung’s conversation with him made it pretty clear that HS is not the one who’s been tormenting the guy for the past month. There’s someone else out there masquerading as Do Hyun Soo. I wonder if it’s on purpose and this mystery person is planning on framing him. (I mean, the foundation is right there and HS had that line about bad reputations.) OR this person is emulating Do Min Seok for a reason, and Hyun Soo is the convenient fall guy. Either way, raincoat guy’s lair is definitely where Hee Sung was drowning in the opening scene of Episode 1. I’m very excited to see where this thread goes. I know the end of Hee Sung’s conversation with his old colleague was probably meant to make us think his thoughts turned murderous (so we then doubt HS at the end). But Hee Sung was almost killed and never attempted revenge all these years, let alone retaliating in that forest. He’s determined to keep his current life, so why would he jeopardize this now? Hee Sung is able to neutralize the threat restaurant guy poses with words, AND he still has Moo Jin in his basement to worry about. I highly doubt he would add more to his plate at the moment unless he’s just really fond of both pressure and multi-tasking. What is Hee Sung’s life though? Serial killer for a father, a fugitive suspected of murder… and if that wasn’t enough, he was almost murdered as well. Then there’s whatever’s going on with his “parents”! Moving on to Ji Won - it’s another case for her, this time to get her face to face with a psychopath. Said psychopath also plants the seed in her head that there may be one in her life too. Ji Won shows her smarts yet again throughout the investigation, but what I loved in particular is how dark she got during her confrontation with the suspect. Of course she ultimately has her morals and wouldn’t cross the line (though that is going to be tested later), but damn if she wasn’t scary af when she slapped her and held the razor blade to the suspect’s throat. I thought she and HS matched pretty well in this instance, lol. xP As for the fight with the kids - yeah, Eun Ha shouldn’t have touched the other girl’s doll without permission, but that doesn’t mean she deserved to be hit! Her nose even bled! Like Ji Won, I was also shocked at Hee Sung immediately apologizing and not even asking for an apology in return. However, we see that Hee Sung was actually thinking long-term re: Eun Ha. Their conversation about reputation was very telling, and one of things that makes me think he was falsely accused. His reputation was horrible because of both his father and his status as a social outcast (due to how he doesn’t process emotion normally). Hee Sung is 100% on his daughter’s side. We get the enlightening conversation plus the revelation of what happened to the doll afterward. Of course it’s wrong to steal and trash a child’s doll in retaliation, but if he’s gonna be amoral anyway, I’ll enjoy this petty action on behalf of his daughter, lol. Eun Ha was breaking my heart with her tears and apologies. The child actress is great! And oh so adorable. Speaking of child actors, the drama has done such a great job casting the younger versions of the characters. Young Hee Sung even has JG’s ears, haha. And Im Na Young (Pristin💔), who plays the younger version of his sister (the character’s first name is “Hae Soo”, nobody touch me), has a similar build to Jang Hee Jin. I can’t get over how Moo Jin (the reporter) tormented Hee Sung when they were younger, while also suspecting him to be capable of murder. Maybe don’t antagonize him??? Years later, he writes an article that brings up all this shit again. But somehow he thought it would fine to try and track down Hyun Soo. And then when he comes across him by accident, he approaches him instead of getting the hell out of dodge. AND AFTER THAT when he’s tied up and begging, he thinks he can try and reason with him, lol. By writing that article, Moo Jin stirred the pot for both Hee Sung/Hyun Soo and his sister. It’s said explicitly that their father didn’t get much media coverage back then, but now it’s all going to come back with a vengeance. From the flashback, we see that there were already rumors swirling around and I bet Moo Jin’s younger self only fanned the flames then too. To reiterate, at the moment I’m definitely leaning towards Hee Sung not being a serial killer. Of course, this doesn’t mean he hasn’t committed murder at all, but I don’t think he was his father’s accomplice at the very least and he’s unaware of whatever’s going on with raincoat guy. In the present, he’s just been living his life until Moo Jin walked in the door. I’m still going to keep my clown make-up on stand by, but I’m a little more confident than I was with the first episode. Another solid episode, in my opinion! Keep it going, Flower of Evil. I’m rooting for you. My Twitter liveblog for Ep2: twitter.com/krysyuy/status/1288965004364926976

[secret-engima]

ohmigods! That last snippet! Am dead from cuteness! I mean the in universe implications are kinda terrible for those not in the know, but still. Cute af. May I ask for more brotherly interactions? Only if you're up to sharing your thoughts of course :D I am LOVING everything about this.

Sure! Lemme see what I can jot down real quick.

-Nox acts ... a bit odd around Noctis for at LEAST several months (and will occasionally revert to that oddness even years later). Stiff when touched, stammering when talking, sometimes unable to look his little brother in face for all it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he LOVES Noctis to no end. Regis thinks its a side-effect of his upbringing (he already suspects that Nox is touch starved, but add to that a cheerful little half-sibling who likes to spontaneously touch Nox and wrap his magic around Nox in greeting-affection-attention? Regis mourns even as he goes about trying to help acclimate his son to positive touch from people other than Ardyn).

-Noctis is the initiator of contact for the longest time. Hugs, conversation, casual hand grabs, you name it, he’s probably done it to Nox and then patiently chatted his way through Nox’s instinctive freeze. Because Nox always snaps out of it and interacts eventually, and at this point Noctis  A D O R E S  Nox okay? He has a big brother who is totally EPIC and COOL and isn’t always too busy for him like his dad and is totally fine with playing Kings Knight instead of doing homework, and has all sorts of cool hunting stories and-

-There is some serious hero worship going on at first okay? And Nox CANNOT figure out how to deal with being looked up to by his YOUNGER SELF. It’s honestly hilarious and sad at the same time, and Ardyn alternates between instigating more contact between them and rescuing his nephew from death by confusion via being the Cool Uncle.

-Eventually though, as Nox begins to relax around his little brother counterpart and hang out more easily ... Noctis beings to notice that something is ... not wrong exactly, but ... off about Nox. That it isn’t normal for Nox to always walk around with his armiger just beneath his skin, ready to draw a weapon at a moment’s notice, that the Quiet Days Nox and Ardyn have aren’t quiet so much as Painful, because Noctis is even more magic sensitive than Regis and he can feel the thick grief-love-mourning-exhaustion that clings to Nox’s bones on those days. The way Nox (and Ardyn too) feel like today is a day to lie down and just- never get up. Nothing Noctis does can break Nox or Ardyn out of their Quiet Day, even though they never raise a hand against him even in their worst moments, so eventually Noctis learns to come find them and curl up against one or the other’s side, radiating at much love and good thoughts through his magic as he can so that they know they aren’t alone.

-Nox and Ardyn appreciate the gesture more than Noctis will ever know.

-But it isn’t always angst and caution. Noctis is not like Nox, he’s brighter and happier and so earnest that it’s infectious. Noctis essentially has Nox wrapped around his little finger, and when Noctis isn’t busy with the tutors Ignis won’t let him escape from, he can usually be found trailing after Nox like a puppy, asking questions and begging to join in whatever Nox is doing (if Nox uses this as a chance to train Noctis in magic and fighting, then nobody comments. If those practice sessions usually end in Nox tickling Noctis into submission while the latter squeals with laughter and joy, Ardyn is the only one who dares interrupt, and Regis has about half a dozen pictures framed on his study desk).

-These two grow up to be super tactile with each other. Nox because he’s touch-starved and Noctis because he figures out that Nox needs touch and they both enjoy mingling their magic together (Cor comments once that their magic is so in sync and similar they might as well have been twins born seven years apart, Ardyn laughs himself sick for reasons no one dares ask about). Tackle hugs, arms over shoulders, smooshing into the Smallest Space Possible on the couch when watching movies because Noctis likes using Nox as a pillow are all very common (not during game though, because Nox is a cheater who isn’t afraid to use tickling as a weapon).

-Only time Noctis is ever really trying to get AWAY from Nox is during training once Noctis is a teen and his training starts getting Serious. Because Cor’s favorite tactic is to yeet the Chocobros into an obstacle course or arena with Nox as their sole opponent and tell Nox to “Go wild”. Nox has way too much fun doing just that (channeling his Uncle’s trolling tendencies to a scary degree in the process) and the Chocobros inevitably end up wheezing helplessly on the floor to a man, each aching in places they know intimately know they have from prior reenactments of this very same event. Noctis never, ever wants to go up against Nox for real, especially since his madman of an older sibling is always FINE at the end of the spars. Barely breathless and still so full of magic he can casually spam healing spells to get them back on their feet.

-Noctis went though a jealousy phase when he was 14-15, because Nox was so much BETTER at stuff than him either in combat or talking nobles in circles. It lasted approximately until the first time Noctis actually tried to do the Brat Teenager Thing and said something INCREDIBLY spiteful only for Nox to go very, very Quiet and just- leave. For two weeks. Wasn’t even in the Citadel. Ardyn actually got angry at Noctis for that and told Noctis that he had no idea what Nox had been through to get as good as he was. Noctis told his uncle to prove it, Ardyn left and came back twenty minutes later with Nox’s Citadel medical file. It had info on all his checkups and doctors notes since first coming to the city. Pictures of his scars, how underweight he was, his suspected trauma issues and what probably caused them.

-When Nox finally slunk back to the Citadel, magic curled in and subdued like a flinching dog, the first thing Noctis did was run to his brother and hug him tight, crying/apologizing the entire time. Noctis never told Nox that he’d seen Nox’s file and Nox was too glad that the jealousy phase was over to question it.

-Nox once borrowed (kidnapped) Noctis when his little brother was eighteen to go on a brother-bonding road trip around the country to show his sibling how to survive in the proper wilds and what the kingdom of Lucis was really like. He genuinely forgot to tell Regis or anyone else about this, so by the time Axis and the Chocobros track him down (with Ardyn’s bemused help) the Citadel had gone beyond Meltdown and straight into Murderland. Nox wasn’t sorry, and Noctis was having the time of his life as long as he wasn’t being chased by cactaur while Nox sat on a high ledge and laughed at him (Nox is at this point perhaps a little TOO big of a believer in learning on the job).