#im a lit nerd at heart

[lovepookie]

♡︎ how enha would ask for a kiss!

♡︎ disclaimer: i am passive-aggressive and sarcastic, so please know im joking!! also i love these men lets bfr 😔

♡︎ warnings: cursing, kissing, suggestive in jake’s and kind of in jay’s?, please lmk if i missed anything!

heeseung ༉‧₊˚.

hmmm okay heeseung! the devil himself. 😣

i think it’d be un-natural for him to ask for a kiss,, like he’d easily just lean in with a smile and kiss you—and you’d let him!

but, I feel like if he does ask beforehand, it’s because he’s doing it on purpose to catch you off gaurd.

like if Jay meticulously thinks about asking before doing so,, this dude would just do it out of nowhere

like simply because you two are having fun type shit.

you’re mid laugh and he’d just stare at you like….my god…that’s the love of my life. :((

“Oh my god, you’re so stupid!” You’d laugh out, hitting him on his shoulder because he sent you a cheesy grin after saying something really idiotic LMAO

he’d grab your hand as you hit him and wouldn’t let it go, urging you closer so you don’t get away

he’d watch you smile and analyze the way your balled fist feels gainst him when you hit him playfully——and he most definitely see’s the way the sides of your eyes crinkle in happiness.

he’s just blown away 🥹

he prolly has a ~this person is all mine~ type of mindset.

“I want you to kiss me.” He’d say out of nowhere.,,,

LIKE!! it’s a command or something,, not even a question! 😧

bcs, he’s not trying to make it sound cliche and ask lmfaooo!

also he hasn’t had enough time to think about it, he just talks out his first thoughts🤕… damn….

but you’d sit there all taken aback and shocked, still trying to retrieve your hand from him 😵‍💫

and he smiles with this pretty teasing smile,,

all happy because he has you flustered like he always does :(((

“What? You don’t want to kiss me?” He asks, head tilting.

and you hit him again

over and over with your fists

“Lee Heeseung! Stop fucking around!” LMFAOOO

and he’d laugh, and laugh and laugh.

then he’d pull you near, clutching your fists and pulling you close

then his pretty lips are still smiling when they touch yours

all light and teasing…

and you’re still fighting him 💀💀

see! so he’d only ask on the basis to make you flustered, but most of the time he doesn’t really think before he kisses you;; he just does it!

jay ༉‧₊˚.

nerd

would probably do a lot of self reflection before ever asking directly for a kiss…

he also strikes me as a dude who would just pull you in naturally instead of asking really…

but!! let’s say he’s asking lol

He’d definitely do the stare at your left eye

lips

then back up to your right eye type of mechanism 😎

he’s so cool! (i’m trying to act like i’m not phased but in reality jay has me in a chokehold)

anyways,,

he’d really set the moment n shît, maybe there’s a couple candles lit,, maybe you two were having dinner and then he followed you to the kitchen to set the dishes in the sink, soft smiles and racing hearts pounding in each of your chests.

he’d definitely set it up nice and throughout the whole dinner he’d been staring at your lips but missed every opportunity given to kiss you bcs of the way you stared into his eyes and down his soul lmao!!

you made him nervous too okay!!

but suddenly, now that you’ve set the dishes down and turned to leave, he’s entrapping you between the kitchen island and his arms.

would definitely use the “can i kiss you?” line.

yet,, it’s mumbled underneath his breathe for only you two to hear and it totally defeats the purpose because he’s already leaning in, pushing your hair out of your face, all with that jaw of his tilting

you know,,

his 🔪 jaw

and as soon as your lips touch, the nerves are gone and bro is a little too confident

🫥

the kiss is all slow and a bit drawn out and long…you taste the minty gum he just disgarded a few minutes ago…

yeah! this is THAT type of kiss

that’s the only way he’d ask imo…

it’s like he’s asking because you know he knows it’s not a regular normal one he’s asking for 🤭

the vibes just have to be right.

wheeew :((

jake ༉‧₊˚.

AUR KAY!

i feel like any chance he gets to kiss you, he’d ask you before-hand all smooth n shît 🙄

it’s actually upsetting because he knows it does shit to you lmao

and he ALWAYS! asks for one when he feels attracted to you in some way :(

for instance; maybe you’d been trying things on from your latest shopping spree and are currently showing him the outfits one by one

this particular one you just showed him would show you and your figure off just right and boy!!! he would be a heated mess !

hands all over you—no time to think

your bodies are pulled very close together just how he likes it…

and he’d go;

“can i have a kiss? or two? or three??” whilst staring down into your eyes. 😣

and you fall for it everytime!

“yes. yes, you may….”

and his lips are on yours

and-and-and! he he hums into your mouth in satisfaction through the kiss….😧

fuck him.

anyways the energy created in the studio would be for baby making is all I’m saying.

but besides this he also asks in wholesome cute times too !

it’s like he doesn’t have any shame almost—or like he takes pride in asking and initiating things.

like imagine y’all laughing together after a continued stream of jokes that you guys take turns layering with more jokes

and he turns to you, intertwining your hand’s with his pretty upturned smile, his bottom lip falling out from between his teeth as he calms down from laughing

“You-…You make me so happy…I really want to kiss you right now.” He’d say, staring over at you.

⚰️.

AND YOU’D LET HIM!! OFC U WOULD BECAUSE I WOULD TOO :((

sickening.

sunghoon ༉‧₊˚.

well well well 😈

you see, our dear hoonies pride would never allow him to ask for a kiss or any type of affection outright,,

he’d only do that once he’s frustrated by you not intituating things after a couple hints here and there.

so let the games commence ☠️🤡

bro would already have pink in his cheeks when he’d clear his throat like the wimp he is,, trying to gather your attention and let you know he wants your affection

pero (but) you already know him already!

you’d smirk and continue to go about your day whilst scrolling on your phone,, acting as if you don’t know what he wants LMAOO

bro would mess with the hem of your shirt or shamelessly crawl his fingers into yours in a non-invasive way so as to not take your full attention in one go because he’s scared you’ll figure him and his needy tsundere self out

jokes on him,, you know exactly wtf he’s doing LMFAOO

he’d continue to clear his throat, getting closer and closer to you before you’d finally utter some words to help him out;

“hoon? you need something?” you’d ask, eyes taking a moment to look at him for the first time in ages.

he’d blush and shoot you a frown,, embarrassed to even get to this point.

“no, not really…do you want to like…do something?” he’d ask.

by this time he’d see the teasing smile make its way onto your face and would groan out in feisty frustration.

“oh my god, you know I want your attention and a kiss…why are you putting me through- a-all of this!?” he’d grumble, throwing your hand away to your side as he walks away LMAOO

poor kid 🥹

you’d laugh and run after him, hands going behind his head/neck and bringing him down to your level, your lips finally connecting.

he’d blush but his stubbornness for your affection wouldn’t allow himself to pull away,,, and THEN his hands would confidently make their way to your sides finally.

see,,,

he just needs a lil ~push~ is all ! ☝️

help the boy out!! 😭

sunoo ༉‧₊˚.

mkay, so I think sunoo is a sweet and cute uwu baby…and I think the way he asks for a kiss would be the same :((

but tell me why!?!?

i think he’d be kind of smooth with it…

like

y’all are in the same room, maybe you’re on the bed with him, his head in your lap as he stares up at you with his honey brown eyes…

you know! THOSE PRETTY EYES 😞

a smile on full display as u play with his hair

and he just stares at you,, taking you in with love :(

then at one point he notices your lip gloss.

“y/n?”

“mhm?”

“your gloss looks really pretty…can I try it?”

and you’re like 😊 😧 😳

because oh man I think he’s flirting!

and he laughs at you as you go pink…

y’all are so cute :(

but he’s not going to stop there—he still hasn’t retrieved his kiss ‼️

“…you’re so cute…can I have a kiss?” he’d ask through a smile, deciding to just be straightforward with it. he’s not going to get anywhere without being direct—by the looks of your flustered state anyways lol!

and you’d nod,, not wanting to utter any words in fear that you’d say the wrong thing lmao

you’d just lean down and peck his pretty lips.

it’s quick!

but sunoo is more than satisfied—and when you pull away he’s pursing his lips to spread the gloss you left behind on them and then he watches as you go even redder :(

he’s picking up too much from his hyungs mayhaps 😟

((the office camera pans to you sitting in a corner,, an absolute blushing mess))

jungwon ༉‧₊˚.

this duuuudeeee

okay hear me out!

i don’t think wonnie ever makes advances first

like the others definitely will,, but he strikes me as he’d never

no matter how much he’d want to

like he’d have to be really serious for him to do it lmao!

i think instead,,, it’d be like you’re already leaning in,, maybe it’s a soft moment and y’all are just laying in bed or on the couch cuddling

because jungwon strikes me as a kid who would never actively do PDA,, but when you are alone he’d cling onto you and follow you around, hands to his sides and his chin on your shoulder from behind

or like he’d play with your hands

OR! hear me out!

bro would put you in headlocks just to be closer to you in a funny way

💀💀💀 jsjsj

that’d be so funny lmao

anyways back to the purpose of this whole thing,,

wonnie would be the little spoon until he turns around because you started to speak on something funny that he wants to hear you say again or sum

so he spins around, your arms still around his waist

like the baby girl he is ☝️😌

and he’s just smiling that ugly scary ass smile

and your faces are so close

so when you go quiet after a giggle and glance at his lips

HE SEE’S IT ALL!

and you’re probably already leaning in but haven’t got the guts to fully go for it

so he’d say some shit like

“are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 😭

LIKE? SHUT UP LMAOO

it makes you laugh msksksksj

and he giggles back too :((

then you’re leaning in for him and muah! 🥹

so u see….

he’d never ask,,; but would instead say some dumb shit to kind of insinuate he wants a kiss

another example;

*gets really close to you*

*small silence*

“you want to kiss me, don’t you?” he’d say teasingly

JSJSJSJS MF?

even tho he got close first??

….

fuck off. :(

niki ༉‧₊˚.

sjsj

okay so…

we got riki up…

this kid….🫥

tbh I think if he wants a kiss, he would never ask out loud.

would probably do some type of gesture or something to get your attention and lead you on to kiss him lmao

for example ☝️

he’d walk up to wherever you’re sat, lean over and just get real close to you,, then he’ll proceed to tilt his head and tap his cheek.😒

tap tap…

with that playful smirk of his smh.

now this is all fun and games..so you roll your eyes but kiss his cheek nonetheless..

then this guy! 😠

he’ll tap his other cheek.

so—

muah.

that one gets a kiss too.

he giggles as you stare at him because you’ve done this enough times to know exactly what he wants next.

his pointer finger goes to his lips, and for a second you see his cheeky beauty…the mole on his chin doing no favors for his pretty playful self.

so you decide to give him the kiss of a lifetime bcs HE should be embarrassed!

not you!!! 😣

you confidently grab both sides of his face in your hands and you let the kiss you plant on his lips last a little longer than a peck.

when you pull away he’s still got that cheeky smile,, but now he’s all red in the face and neck and proceeds to scurry off.

brat! 🙄

(we love niki in this household!)

2024 © lovepookie

♡ ︎please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.

[yaniiiiism]

nerd. -l.mh ✿ !

pairing : lee minho x fem!reader

info : short fic , oneshot , adult au , humor , fluff , slightly rushed , drabble ?

persona : minho as his usual self ; play-mean , teasing , sassy , flirty , sarcastic , playful , cat daddy, simp , member of skz x fem!reader as a nerdy , sassy , sarcastic , has bangs and glasses , girlie who loves producing + writing + reading, being his best friend since childhood.

word count : 1310

warnings : none but minho is so omg im giggling

notes at the end ! ♡︎

Minho leaned back on the couch in the dimly lit recording studio, his eyes half lidded with a mix of exhaustion and contentment. It was— well, past midnight. But the studio was still buzzing with eternal life, the faint sound of taps and muted rustle of paper filling the air.

And on the chair, writing in front of him, sat her, her fingers deftly gliding over her laptop keyboard as she worked on arranging of a track they’d been working on all day. She was— oh so, in her element, completely soaked in her work; her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, bangs slightly disheveled from hours of concentration. But Minho? That man could not help but smile at the sight.

She had always been like this, ever since they were as young as elementary kids. While the other students in middle school were busy gaming and gossiping about who-knows-what, she was rather lost in her own little world of melodies and papers. Always been the academic weapon, she devoured literature as if they were going out of style. It was, so, endearing, the way she immersed herself in music, spending countless hours reading and writing, producing and perfecting. 

Nerd, you say?

Then you’re so correct. Minho was constantly teasing her about it back in middle school, calling her a "nerd" whenever she carried a stack of music theory books that was nearly half her height. But there definitely was something about the way she looked with those oversized glasses, her bangs framing her face, her intense focus on whatever she was working on—it was impossibly adorable, and it made his heart flutter more than he cared to admit. 

The way his eyes twinkled whenever she spoke. The way he caught himself staring at her lips a tiny bit longer than ever. Boy, was he down bad.

“Still tweaking that bridge?” Minho’s voice broke the silence. “If you keep obsessing over it, you’re going to burn a literal hole through your screen.”

She glanced up, rolling her eyes but failing to suppress a tiny smile. 

“I’m not obsessing. I’m refining. There’s a difference.”

“Uh-huh. Refining.” Minho drawled, leaning on the armrest of the couch, resting his head on his hands from the side, as he watched her. “You’re still the same nerd from middle school— you know? If not, prettier.”

“Better a ‘pretty’ nerd than a slacker,” She shot back, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with a finger, a simple action that made his chest tighten with internal giggles. “At least I’m not the one who had to ask for help with his choreography last week.”

Minho winced at the reminder. “Please, I was just... creatively blocked.”

“Right.” A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips, her left dimple in clear view. “And who helped you out of that ‘creative block’? Oh, that’s right— me!”

He huffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, you’re the genius here. Happy?”

Minho watched her for a moment longer, his heart pounding a little harder than usual. 

The pair had grown up together, shared countless memories, and been there for each other through every awkward, confusing stage of life. But somewhere along the line, his feelings for her had deepened, evolved into something more than just friendship. And the fact that the other members knew about it, in such a short span of time—and teased him relentlessly for it—didn’t help that at all.

“You know,” He began, trying to sound casual, “the guys think I’m head over heels for you.”

She snorted, her gaze still fixed at her prized MacBook. “Delusional enough? Bet they’re just sulky over all the rumours, honestly.” She teased, chuckling softly. “They’ve also probably been teasing you endlessly, haven’t they?”

He groaned. “You have no idea. They won’t let me live it down. They say I get all starry-eyed whenever you’re around.”

“Do you?” She finally looked up, a glint in her eyes. “Get all starry-eyed, I mean?”

His grin faltered, and he felt a slight panic rising in his chest. This was dangerous territory, the kind where a careless word or a slip of the tongue could reveal far more than he was ready to admit. 

He cleared his throat, trying to maintain his usual cool demeanour. “Maybe I do..?” He immediately shook it off. “Nah, I don’t. Like you said— they’re just delusional. But.. you are kinda mesmerising when you’re in your zone, actually.”

She laughed, a light, melodic sound that sent warmth spreading through his chest. “Well, if that’s the case, then I’m flattered, Lee Know.”

He rolled his eyes in utmost sass, at the use of his stage name but didn’t protest. He was about to retort with something equally teasing when the door to the studio burst open, revealing the infamous insomniacs; Chan, Felix, and Jisung stumbling in, their grins wide and eyes twinkling with nothing but teasing.

“Minho hyung!” Jisung sing-songed, dragging out the last syllable as he waltzed over to the couch, plopping down beside him. “What’s this we hear about you being all googly-eyed over her again?”

Minho groaned, slumping back in his seat. “Eavesdropping now, are we?”

“Only when it’s entertaining,” Felix chimed in, leaning against the wall with a grin that screamed trouble. “And watching you get all flustered around her is very top-tier entertainment— almost like a drama—  no, better!”

“Lix,” She sighed, her tone exasperated but affectionate. “Do you guys have nothing better to do?”

Chan, always the voice of reason, held up his hands in mock surrender. “We were just passing by and couldn’t resist. Besides, we have to make sure Minho doesn’t mess things up with his childhood sweetheart, y’know?”

Minho shot him a withering glare. “I hate you all.”

“Mmm, liar, you love us,” Jisung quipped, nudging Minho with his elbow. “Almost as much as you love her.”

Minho’s face burned at that, and he tried to stammer out a response, but she beat him to it, her voice laced with amusement. 

“Alright, alright, that’s enough. Let the poor guy breathe.”

Chan, Felix, and Han exchanged glances before erupting into laughter, clearly enjoying his cute discomfort. But they took pity on Minho, retreating with exaggerated bows and blown kisses before filing out of the room, leaving him alone with her once more.

There was a brief silence after they left, and Minho could feel the weight of her gaze on him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, knowing he’d never hear the end of this from the guys later.

She chuckled lightly, making literal pigs run around his unbearable heart. That— oh fuck, that little laugh. It made him go just a little too— nuts?

“Classic skz,” She said, a smile escaping her pretty lips.

“Don’t worry— if it’s like— uncomfortable, i’ll just go and let them know. You know it’s all fun—“

She smiled, a small, genuine smile that sent his heart soaring. “Min, it’s fine, really.” 

“But are they wrong though?”

He raised an eyebrow, his heart slightly racing quicker. “W-wrong?” That head-over-heels motherfucker just stuttered. How did it even escape his lips? 

He composed his posture, clearing his throat, “I mean— about— what?”

For a moment, neither of them spoke, the realization hanging in the air between them like a fragile thread. Then, slowly, Minho reached out, his hand hovering over hers before gently taking it.

And they made eye contact. Her eyes searching his brown ones; while that man’s gaze turned all heart-eyed. Get a grip, Minho, will you?

But his heart was not stopping, nope.

“What would you say if—” He began,

Only to be interrupted.

By her.

By her— soft lips embracing his in a gentle yet deep, kiss.

After a long minute— they pull away; breaths heavy and skin crimson.

“Holy fuck those pretty lips taste sweeter than I expected.”

｡ . ☁︎ ⊹ .

｡ﾟ✿ author's note !

IM BACK UEDJWNFBKWQKEWEWKEDWKWNEKN plz i love minho sm its concerning + NERDS.

plz lmk if yall liked it - im very open to feedback <3

i also have a looot of other drafts which ill post soon.. theyre all skz ㅠㅠ

WELL then thank you for reading, i appreciate it ! ✮

[poetryvampire]

The Song of Rolan

Dingdong! Horny Rolan posting hours again. I started writing head canons for how vocal our lovely wizard can get. It got a bit long so I turned it in a little fic. Also sorry for the name im a lit nerd

Words: 2,705

Rating: Explicit

Rolan x AFAB! Reader

Prompt: Rolan's voice drives you crazy. But he has a terrible habit of stifling all his pretty little noises in bed. You help him fix that.

Tags: teasing, pointy ear play, a touch of edging, dry humping, sloppy oral, p and v sex, bit of overstimulation, creampie, riding that tiefling straight to hell and back

It was an understatement to say you were proud of Rolan. He was an accomplished wizard, loving brother and - in your opinion-the perfect partner. One that you could see yourself spending the rest of your days with. That's not to say he didn't get on your nerves. Not only with his grumpy tendencies but more so with his habit of over working.  You adored his passion and drive to further his studies but it had led to more and more long lonely nights. Either from him traveling with colleagues or the tiefling locking himself in his study to work on a multitude of projects until morning light. 

He had returned home only yesterday having spent almost two full weeks away and yet he still seems dead set to spend all evening pouring over his notes. The Wizard's focus was getting worse by the day. Not that he hadn't been overjoyed to see you. He had practically knocked you off your feet with the intensity of his hug when he came striding through the door. You had spent hours locked in each other's arms in your large shared bed. Steadily he moved between tales of his journey and peppering your skin with feverish kisses.

Rolan had taken you greedily. Frantic, practically tripping over himself trying to touch all of you at once. He couldn't quite find a voice for his needs but you swayed to him happily, matching his clumsy passion. There was plenty of the time to truly savor each other. But still your patience was running thin.

Somehow you had once again found yourself in an empty bedroom starving for your partner. Last night had been a sweet reunion but it did little to quell the fire Rolan lad lit in you while he was away. He had only been gone a few days when a letter arrived that left you breathless. Deciding to skip over the details of his journey he focused instead on his longing for you.

'What little beauty there is to be had here is dwarfed a thousand times by the thought of you. I dream of you always. Of being wrapped in your divine cunt. Of feeling it pulse against my tongue. Gods, I am your slave. Use me only for your pleasure. Let me worship you, my heart.'

His words rang in your head even now, pooling that familiar heat down below. How you wanted him. Wanted to hear such words from his own lips. From the moment you met you’d been in love with the deep rumble of his voice. Nothing gave you such satisfaction as pulling music from Rolan’s lips as you made love. It wasn't easy. Even still he had trouble fully letting himself go. Often he would stifle his words and moans to your great dismay. You recall gazing up at him as you ran your tongue over his length to find his hand clamped tightly over his mouth muffling his cries. A senseless action as you two had been the only people home at the time.  

Swiftly you move to your wardrobe every drop of patience spent. You need him; to wring every moan, grunt and whimper out of that man or it would kill you. He deserves to relish in and express his pleasure freely. Perhaps he just needs a little push.

Much to your relief the tower was empty by this hour. You moved lightly through the halls wearing nothing but a sheer purple dressing gown.

You tap your knuckles against the hard oak door as you enter his study. He was exactly as you had pictured him, four open books across his desk and him writing furiously.

"Beloved!" He half glances at you as he takes a quick slip from his wine glass. "Now don't worry," he continues flipping pages. "I hadn't forgotten about you. This was intended to be a short little report but I just keep finding revisions that seem a shame not to add."

Going above and beyond as always. You can't help but smile as you watch him, those tantalizing eyes darting from paper to paper. Just the sight of him makes the warmth of excitement flare in you. You feel your nipples hardening against the thin fabric you wore. He's dressed down; the lacing on his ruffled white shirt undone to his mid chest and sleeves pushed up past the elbow. Such a small glimpse of extra skin makes your heart race. Hopefully you can rise the same reaction.

"You have such a way with words it would be rude not to." You purr, moving to his side.

"I'll be done soon, truly." He can hear the need in your voice. "Then I'm all yours."

You hum amused as you lift his glass to take a deep drink.

"You sound like you don't believe me." Rolan's hand passes through the space once hosting his glass. "Have I ever let you down in the-"

His eyes finally snap to you and his words catch sharply in his throat, blood rushing to his face. You laugh, finishing the glass.

" What's the matter, my love? You're usually so generous with your words."

"I- I-you," He stammers.

"I seem to remember such generosity in a letter you wrote."

You undo the gown. His eyes fix on you as you let it fall to the floor. As many times as he's seen it the sight of you in your full glory drives him wild. 

"Do you remember that letter?"

"Oh, of course." His voice is barely a whisper, his body tense as if ready to pounce on you.

To his surprise you straddle him and his hands fly to your hips drawing you closer. Both of you groan into a deep kiss as you grind yourself down against the quickly growing tent in his trousers.

"Do you want to please me?" You growl half into his mouth.

"More than anything." He gasps between kisses. 

You pull away, placing a finger over his lips. His beaming cheeks and  pleading eyes stoke your maddening hunger for him.

"Then let me please you. I need to feel it and hear it. Let me drown in you, Rolan."

"Gods above," He groans.

You can see he's already holding back. But you would have to help him along by targeting his weak points. You start with his neck, ghosting your lips over him, letting the tension build. Your hot breath sends a shiver down his spine as he grasps your thighs trying to push you on.

At last you press your lips to his skin earning a soft hiss. You try to go slow but make your need apparent with the ferocity of your mouth. A deep sigh escapes him as you attack his jawline, sucking and teasing as you go. Rolan bucks his hips suddenly, huffing. He's too shy to ask but he's dying for you to touch his ears.

A quick bite to the lobe earns another sharp gasp. You laugh knitting your fingers through his hair- Gods his sounds make your heart flutter.

"Oh? Did you like that, my love?" You coo into his neck. There's words on his lips but they melt away as your tongue slowly traces the shell of his ear right to the tip. "Hhm? What was that? Are you unsure? But you're usually so strong in your convictions."  You repeat the action making him squirm underneath you. You grind down on his bulge creating a delicious friction. "However can I know you're enjoying yourself if you don't tell me?"

"It's good." He chokes out at last, meeting the movements of your eager hips.

"What is? We can't all be scholars you know." You draw away from him slightly. "What do you want?"

He laughs as a devilish grin spreads across his parted lips.

"Everything. You're so, you're so- " his words falter. He still feels your breath on him but the lack of contact makes it clear you're waiting. It's only in times like this when Rolan has difficulty summoning words.

"I've never heard of a wizard so speechless." You goad him and start to move away. "Must want to get back to his dusty old books rather than-"

"No!" He cries, locking his arms around you keeping you in place. "Your mouth- your tongue feels so fucking good I can't stand it."

You lick a strip down his neck while bringing your hands to the sides of his head, making sure to brush your fingers across the points of his ears, pulling a low shudder from him.

"There's the man that wrote me such an inspiring letter. That made me plunge my fingers in myself and dream of his cock."

He swears through his teeth, his eyes sparkling with desire.

"And where do you want my mouth?" You continue practically able to feel the heat flash across his face. Your tongue slides across his clavicle  and then moves lower to lap at the ridges on his chest. "Here, then?"

'No,' he breathes.

You swear you can feel him twitch in his pants. Moving your mouth lower you open his shirt completely and do away with it. You stop at the sharp ridge above his stomach.

"Oh, here?"

He shakes his head, face now blazing hot.  Pained whines fall from him as your mouth climbs back up the path of his chest. It isn't until you graze his Adam's apple that he breaks.

"My cock! Fuck I need your mouth on my cock. I need it now, please." He pleads like his life is at stake.

Instantly you're on the floor in front of him pushing his legs apart. You let out a moan yourself once you've sprung him free. You admire just how heavy he is in your hands and run your fingers over the ridges you wish were currently pounding into you.

With a throaty gasp a few drops of precum spill from his head just as you flick your tongue over it. You don't make him wait long before you take him into your mouth.

His moans ring through the room; the music you've been dying to hear. You waste no time taking him apart. Your mouth runs up and down his full length as you hollow your cheeks.  With a loud pop you release him, a string of saliva still connecting you.

Rolan stairs transfixed, his exquisitely carved chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Like this?"

"Yes! Love, it's perfect. Keep sucking, just like that."

Before the words are past his lips you've swallowed him down again, your eyes never leaving his. Now comes your turn to rid the fears that hold you back. As you bob your head you make no mind of the symphony of wet, lewd noises filling the air.

The obscene display tears a guttural groan from him. Unable to hold off any longer move you press a hand to your wetness as you relish taking him like this. The feel, the sound, the smell. It was quite literally making your mouth water. You switch to running your tongue from base to tip stopping only to tease him with a few quick flicks at his head. Drunk on lust at the sounds of his grunts and murmurs you dip your fingers into your dripping hole. 

"Nine hells." He shakes out, breathing hard. "Tell me, what have I done to deserve such adoration?”

Rolan’s eye then focuses on your hands. One pleasuring yourself and the other roaming your own body. You throw your head back with a soft sigh, his unyielding gaze intensifying your pleasure.

"What a wanton little thing you are." Rolan licks his lips in awe.

You protest for a moment as he snatches your hand away from your sex but hum in approval as he licks them clean.

"You sweet thing.”He coos after slowly releasing your digits. “Let me take care of that."

The swift flourish of magic swirls pass and you scream as you find yourself tumbling back on the plush blankets of your bed. Somehow it still catches you off guard.

Rolan has your legs pushed apart in seconds, taking a moment to breathe you in before going to work. Gently pulling your folds open his expert fingers, his tongue ravished you with the same pace you had set. In moments he had your hips shaking involuntarily. Each painfully sweet lash on your clit making you chant his name.

Yet you still weren't sated in your need to watch your lover twist in ecstasy. Taking him by the horns you pull his mouth to yours, lapping at his lips to savor the taste of your sex.

"How can I be of service?" Rolan purrs, a wicked smile forming.

"Lay back.”

He complies and you straddle his hips once more. You drag your core against his agonizingly hard cock. Now you were free to delight in the bumps and ridges you so adored. Your slick coats you both allowing you to slide over him with ease.

Rolan tries to caress you but you pull his hands away and pin them to the bed making him shudder.

"No, love. Leave them here." You roll your hips slowly bearing down, pushing a sharp whimper from his throat. "You just focus on this." Another roll, another whine. As you move your hands away he digs his claws into the sheets to obey. His eyes rake over you, especially as your speed increases. The sight of your breasts bouncing never failed to make him feral with lust. 

Quickly the last of his composure is slipping away as you grind over him. His hair framing his face wildly, his body trembling with effort not to take control and plunge into you. He howls when his tip catches on your entrance.

"Oh is this what you want now? What a greedy thing you are."  You tease.

"Please, mercy." he rasps out as you lower yourself ever so slightly only to pull away. “Give it to me, please! Love, I need you.” 

“How do you need me?” you wiggle your hips, toying with him. 

“I need to be inside.” He breathes, his frustration palpable as his tail snaps against the mattress. 

With unsteady thighs you sink enough to just take in his tip before slowly drawing back.

“Fuck, I need you.” Rolan cries, his voice breaking “I need to stretch that perfect tight little cunt. To feel it cum all over my cock. Gods, please fuck me!” 

Unable to hold back any longer your body obeys and you take all of him at once. The sudden action rips a howl from you both. The slight pain and overwhelming pleasure of being so full does little to slow you down and you continue your animalistic pace. 

The song spilling from Rolan’s lips has you intoxicated utterly. It’s a lurid rumble of repeating ‘yes’ and ‘please’ and ‘fuck me’ and words in his own native tongue. You ride his cock with all you have drinking in the sight of him. His claws deep in the mattress now, he’s writhing and wailing below you. 

Finally you pull his hands to your hips and his body jumps to match your rhythm. He’s practically sobbing now, eyes swimming with rapture and concentration as he drives himself into you. A spike of heat pulls at your core and with another desperate thrust you come undone, clenching uncontrollably around him. Another wave of unbearable pleasure hits you as your lover pulses and spills his hot load inside of you. He rides it out, ending his flurry of moans with a few deep ragged breaths. 

Rolan catches you in his arms before you even realize you’ve started to fall forward and presses you to his chest. You languish there enjoying the rhythm of his heartbeat. 

“I don’t deserve you.” he says, tangling his fingers in your hair. 

“You’re so dramatic” you sigh “I’ve just missed you. A lot.”   

“Well, with a greeting like that I have half a mind to leave you more often.” he smirks. 

“Don’t you dare,” you warn. 

“Of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it.” Rolan kisses the top of your head, holding you tightly to him until you both fall into slumber. 

Thanks for reading! 

Much love <3

[iamtired10]

hiii, could you write a one-shot or headcanons, whatever you fancy the most, of newjeans (or just danielle, i dont mind!) with a thoughtful, attentive gf? someone who does not actively demonstrate that she makes an effort to remember their habits and preferences but deep down knows everything about them... 😍

and not in a "stalker" way! (☠) more like in a "I care so much about you it just comes naturally" way

thank you!! have a nice day♡♡

masterpiece in your eyes

pairing - gf! danielle marsh x female reader

synopsis - you love knowing all the little things about danielle marsh—everything that makes her, well, her. but it’s not in an obsessed way; it’s just the kind of deep connection you both share.

genre - FLUFF (someone please request angst. and teach me how to write it too! im so over fluff)

warning - nothing just cringe and boring ig, dani have blonde hair here :(

word count - 831

a/n - fun fact... i always update before i go to sleep 😪

the museum air was still.

the kind that made you want to talk in hushed whispers, but that didn’t stop danielle from bouncing on her heels, her eyes wide with excitement.

she was in her element—curiosity and wonder radiated from her as she stood in front of an art piece that you, frankly, didn’t quite understand.

but that didn’t matter.

what mattered was the way danielle’s face lit up, her soft blonde curls bouncing with every little skip she made from one exhibit to the next.

she turned to you with that signature spark in her eyes. “babe, look! isn’t this one so cool?”

her aussie accent mixed with the sound of wonder in her voice made it impossible not to smile.

you tilted your head, pretending to examine the piece like you knew exactly what she was seeing. “yeah, totally. the… uh, colors are super deep.”

she giggled, knowing you had no clue, but appreciating the effort.

that was the thing about danielle—she never needed you to be into the same stuff she was, but you loved the way she came alive around the things she loved.

you’d always made mental notes of her little habits, what made her smile, what made her laugh.

even though you weren’t the type to be super showy about it, you made sure she felt seen.

like how you always brought her that lavender-scented hand cream she liked when she forgot hers or when you made sure to grab the spicy ramyeon whenever you both went grocery shopping because she secretly loved the heat.

she never outright said it, but you knew.

you knew she loved it when you held her hand in museums, quietly slipping your fingers through hers whenever she got too excited and started wandering off like a curious little puppy.

and so, as she moved to the next exhibit, you reached out, lacing your fingers with hers.

danielle smiled at the touch, her gaze softening as she glanced at you. “you always know what i need,” she murmured, squeezing your hand gently.

she pulled you closer until your arms were lightly brushing.

“of course, i do. i’ve been taking notes,” you teased, nudging her playfully with your shoulder.

she blushed, that adorable pink creeping up her cheeks that always made your heart flutter.

across the room, you heard the unmistakable laughter of hanni.

your friends, they were gathered around an interactive display, messing around with a touchscreen that let you create your own digital art.

haerin was tapping through the colors with focus, while hanni was trying her best to mess it all up.

danielle waved over to them with her free hand. “come on, let’s go see what they’re doing!”

the two of you wandered over, still hand-in-hand, joining the chaos. “unnie, you’re ruining haerin-ah’s masterpiece!” danielle laughed, nudging hanni playfully.

“i’m adding to it,” hanni said with a grin, barely holding back her laughter as haerin shot her a death glare.

hyein was watching from the sidelines, clearly amused. “it’s abstract art now.”

you leaned into danielle’s ear, whispering, “they’re all such nerds.”

danielle giggled, nodding in agreement. “and we love them for it.”

minji, the mom of the group, finally stepped in. “alright, alright. give hae a chance to finish it.”

then she turned to you and danielle, raising an eyebrow. “enjoying the tour?”

“yeah, it’s been amazing!” danielle beamed, her excitement spilling out. she turned to you with a wide smile. “i love that we’re all here together.”

minji smirked. “she loves you being here.”

you rolled your eyes, but inside, your heart was swelling. danielle was so effortlessly herself around you, and that’s what made everything feel so perfect.

after wandering around for a bit more, you both found yourselves in front of a painting that seemed to catch danielle’s eye.

she stood there, staring at it, her expression soft and thoughtful.

“what are you thinking?” you asked, watching her closely.

she didn’t say anything for a moment, just continued gazing at the painting. “it’s beautiful, isn’t it? it makes you feel something, like… warmth.”

you looked at her, not the painting, and said softly, “yeah, you're right, it’s beautiful.”

danielle turned to you with a shy smile, and your heart skipped a beat.

you didn’t have to say much for her to understand.

she rested her head on your shoulder, her hand still holding yours. “you’re such a dork,” she whispered, her voice light and teasing.

“but i’m your dork,” you teased back, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

in that museum, amidst all the art, the real masterpiece was the love you both shared—thoughtful, quiet but so deeply understood.

the kind of love that didn’t need to be shouted from the rooftops because it was already written in every soft glance, every gentle touch.

and in that moment, you both knew — this was the kind of love that felt like home.

a/n - SORRY TO THE ANON IK IT'S NOT GOOD :( MY HEAD IS TOTALLY BRAINDEAD SAURR I JUST WROTE WTV POPPED INTO MY MIND LMAO. IT'S A MESS, SORRYYY! ANYWAY IM GONNA HEAD OUT NOW. BYE-BYE GOODNIGHTYYYYY!

[jeonfiles]

sweetest apparition 01│ jjk

pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader

genre: angst with a bit of fluff and a bittersweet ending (and the tamest smut you’ve ever read)

synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse

wc: 12k oops

a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol

++ started writing this in 2021 and it took me so long to finish

masterlist │ my cc

14 days

A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.

Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.

His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.

No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with two ten thousand won bills paper-clipped inside.

Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.

Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.

13 days

The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.

You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.

The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.

A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.

His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.

"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.

"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.

"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.

Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.

He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.

Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.

He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.

"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.

"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.

"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.

You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."

When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.

"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.

His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.

The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.

He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.

A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.

You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.

You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.

12 days left

The next time you see Jungkook, it's no different from the first, he's in yet another pitiful situation, nervously picking up all the books he had just dropped on the ground when crashing into Moonbin, another sleaze who has tried it with you.

"Watch your step dweeb," Moonbin growled, placing a foot on Jungkook's shoulder, pushing him down so his head hits the gravel.

Poor Jungkook groaned in agony, throbbing pain as he rushed to pick up the rest of his books, muttering sorry over and over again.

"Moonbin, what the fuck is your problem?" You stepped in, his saving angel. God had sent you to aid him, he was sure of it. "What has he ever done to you?" You spat, standing between the two boys.

Moonbin was a good 6'3, his height a little intimidating, yet you didn't budge. "Y/N-ah, seriously, stay out of it." His expression softened at the sight of you, and it only made you even angrier, stepping with full force on his foot, making him yell in agony, the little heel crushing his toes.

"Jungkook is my friend, and you don't mess with my friends." You smiled proudly, shooing Moonbin and his bruised ego away before you sat down on the ground with Jungkook, who looked at you like you possessed the world's greatest treasures.

You knew his name. You, Y/N Y/L/N, knew his name. He could squeal in happiness any second, luckily his throbbing headache kept him grounded, adoration glazing his pretty eyes. He had a little bruise on his forehead from the gravel, luckily no blood, and you didn't dare touch it, afraid Jungkook would cry out in pain again like he did two days ago.

You followed him to the bathroom, offering to hold his stuff for him, even his phone, case decorated in Undertale and Zelda stickers, and you laughed to yourself as you traced the stickers with your fingers. Out of a sudden, the buzzes from his phone wouldn't stop, and you flipped his phone around to see series of messages on his lock screen.

Dad 04:37pm

Where are you

You idior come home or i'l, throw your shit ouvt

Ungsteful brat no wonder your mom left tou

Heart dropping to the floor, you dismissed the messages and pretended you had never even seen them, scared Jungkook would close up again as he had finally started talking to you.

When he exited the bathroom, you pretended you hadn't seen anything, yet the lump in your stomach just grew bigger every time you looked at him. You started noticing, how his eyes were puffy, bags under his eyes, one cheek redder than the other, how skinny Jungkook was, and it made you shiver.

"A-are you.. alright?" He asked softly, and you only nodded, pressing your books up against your chest, trying to suppress whatever emotions you so desperately wanted to show.

He followed you home that evening, and you nearly cried out for him not to leave, not to go home to his dad who's texts had scared the living daylights out of you, so you reached for his hand.

"Stay for a while?" You pleaded, smiling, and he could see a little hurt in your eyes. He wanted to, so badly. Then he realized that he had a father at home, so he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my dad wants me home." And you could hear the fear in his voice as he got ready to leave. His lips reduced into a thin line as you pouted.

"Give me your number at least." You smiled, despite being afraid, and he obliged, typing his number in on your phone, being extremely cautious because of the price of your new iPhone 12, while he was stuck with the iPhone 5.

He turned on his heel, and you couldn't stop him. He slipped out of your hands, your grip. You gulped, watching him walk till he was out of sight. You tossed and turned the whole night, which you never did, you always fell asleep in minutes. You were worried, a few dry cries probably left your mouth.

11 days left

He was present in class the next morning, a feeling of relief as you saw him with his nose down in another book, yet he looked even more defeated than yesterday. He ignored your smiles, he just looked at you with a dead expression and pushed his glasses up his nose, throwing his hoodie over his head, looking back down into his books.

Class ended, and you gracefully walked over to Jungkook's desk, because it seemed like he had no intention of getting up. "I made extra lunch this morning so we could share. You never eat during break so-"

"Y/N, leave." He pointed at the door, all the other students leaving, signaling for you to leave with them, you refused, and pulled out a chair to sit in front of him.

"You're all skin and bones, Jungkook. Let's enjoy this meal together, I can be silent if you want." You shrugged, grabbing two bento boxes from your backpack.

"Why do you care? Don't you have friends you should be spending time with?" Jungkook spat, not even willing to look you in the eyes.

You just kept smiling, opening the boxes carefully and handing him a pair of chopsticks, "You're my friend too, Kook-ah," and he accepted, a small grin appearing on his face.

He loves you, he absolutely loves you. He doesn't even mind that you feel nothing for him, you are so, so perfect. Jungkook could stare at you all day, letting your beauty sink in time and time again. He wants to hold you because you're so close to him, but he knows that you're two worlds apart, no matter the distance between you two.

You could hold him so tight he'd turn blue and you'd still be so god damn far away, you were so out of his league, as cliche as it sounds, it's completely true.

Eating together in silence as you promised. Jungkook was completely engulfed in your sweet, silent beauty, how you resembled a wave that hits the shore with such ease, splashing everywhere, landing as simple drops of water, which couldn't hurt anyone.

You weren't loud and outrageous, you enjoy moments of silence, you love everything enclosed, safe and sound company, exactly like Jungkook.

"You wanna come to my house today?" You break the comfortable silence.

"I can't." He replies, sounding awfully sad.

You could ask why, but you chose not to. You didn't want to pick scabs off wounds you couldn't see, so you waited till he told you yourself. Hoping he would.

"Okay. You have my number though, can we text tonight?" You smile, knowing it's weird to ask someone to text you, but Jungkook was weird too, so it didn't matter.

He nodded and continued reading a book you knew nothing about. You appreciate a good book, classics like Catcher in the Rye, and How to kill a mocking bird, but it seemed like Jungkook had taken the next step into the world of literature.

He made you happy, his company felt good. Nothing could hurt you now, yet everything could hurt Jungkook, and you swore you felt nauseous just thinking about it. You knew what was happening in his home, but you needed him to tell you, trust you, before you could help him. Give him what he deserves, he just needs to hang in there for a little while longer.

"Can't we skip school tomorrow, we can do something then? It won't affect our report cards!" You shake him excitedly, yet carefully, like he's fragile

"They'll call home, my parents are already mad at me for a bad grade I got last week." Jungkook sighs, closing the book he was reading. He lets out a weak, quiet yawn.

You think he's pretty like this, eyes puffy and lips pouted, hair messy, glasses resting on his nose. Jungkook has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen, and you swore to god you could drown in them.

10 days left

See tags for warnings.

He dragged his feet down the pavement of a busy street, trapping onto his heavy backpack. It was a long walk since he had missed the bus home from school. He was tired today, even worse than yesterday. The summer sun was frying him alive, forehead covered in drops of sweat, hair sticking to his forehead.

Wearing a sweater and jeans was probably not the most comfortable choice, but sure as hell the most secure one. He hated his legs, and his arms covered in purple and blue bruises, and how he wasn't fit at all, in fact, he had never entered a gym before.

Sometimes, he'd take the long way home. He tried to convince himself that it was for health reasons, that he needed the extra steps because all he did was stay in his room. Jungkook knew it was untrue. The only reason he took the long way home is because of his father and his unpredictable mood swings. Sometimes, he'd be in a good mood. He might even offer Jungkook the remote and the best spot in the sofa after a long school day.

Today, he was just so exhausted he even took a shortcut. He just needed a nap and something to eat. Opening the front door, he carefully stepped inside. His dad was on the back porch, smoking a cigarette and listening to the radio. Jungkook couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. When he went to get something to eat, the fridge was nearly empty. Just some cheese and a few jars of jam. Maybe he could find some crackers to eat it with.

Looking closer at the cheese, it was expired. There were no crackers in the cupboard either. He had to approach his dad and see what mood he was in. Slowly sliding the glass door open, he called out with his softest voice:

"Dad?" His voice quivered.

His father turned around abruptly, seeing his son in the doorway. "What do you want now? I can't drive you to school if that's what you're gonna ask me. If you missed the bus you can walk." Jungkook heard his voice getting more irritable towards the end of the sentence.

He had to be so so careful.

"Uh, no... I just got home from school." He stopped to think for a while and his dad raised his eyebrows. "There's no food in the fridge. I was just gonna remind you that you need to go to the grocery store."

Jungkook´s father stood up, pushing his chair back.

"Who are you to tell me what I need to do?" He came closer and Jungkook braced himself. "You're just like your useless mother. Can't do anything on your own." He hadn't raised his voice yet.

"Sorry... M´sorry..." Jungkook muttered underneath his breath. At some point in his life he stopped defending his mom. It was somewhat true. She was useless, at least to him. She had ran away from her husband, Jungkook´s father, and started a new family with a nice husband. She deserved all of that at the time and promised to come back for Jungkook once everything was settled a few weeks later.

She never came.

"I can't believe I messed my life up so bad. Look at your mother running away from her own son, to think that I married her! Even worse, look at the son that I raised. Such a weak and sad boy. I can't even call you a man." He was yelling and Jungkook knew he was only seconds away from hurting him again.

Jungkook couldn´t even bother replying before his head hit the porch floor. He was still conscious and his dad pulled him up by the collar for another round.

When he was done, Jungkook limped his way into his bedroom and his dad sunk back into his chair and turned up the music even louder. He sat down in his bed and slowly took his hood off, wincing from the pain. His mind drifted elsewhere and landed on the thought of you. How your kindness and care could have calmed him down in seconds.

He picked up his phone and looked at the text from you from last night.

Y/N 9:17 pm - Yesterday

Hi Jungkook, how are you? ❤️ I can see that you're reading these :( Read 9:19

Jungkook 5:45 pm

Sorry. Hi. To be honest I could be better. How about you?

Y/N 5:49 pm

Happy you replied and sad to hear that you're not doing well. I really want you to come to my house tomorrow 🙏 I even told my parents that I made a new friend who's not related to my current friend circle and they couldn't be happier!! Pretty pretty pleaseee

Jungkook hesitated for a while. Considering his dad couldn't even grasp that it was 4 pm when he came home and not 7 in the morning makes him believe that he won't notice his absence for a few hours tomorrow. And even if he did, it would be worth it.

Jungkook 5:57 pm

Fineee

Y/N 5:58 pm

Yayy I can't wait!!

For the first time in a while, Jungkook wasn't dreading waking up in the morning.

9 days left

Jungkook 1:22 pm

Should we meet a slight distance away from school or should I just go directly to your house?

Y/N 1:25 pm

What are u saying? Meet me by the main entrance and we'll walk together!!

And so he did. You walked out the main entrance with your entire friend group and you smiled brightly as your eyes met with his. He was caught off guard by your lack of shame. "See you guys tomorrow!" You smiled brightly, and all your friends stared back with a confused look as you skipped towards Jungkook.

"What are you doing?" Jihan exclaimed. You turned around to her and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I´m gonna hang out with my friend!" All of your friends looked at you funny and you pushed Jungkook along.

"Sorry they're being such idiots to you. I try to make them stop but I think they have some deep rooted insecurities." You chuckled after a while of silence.

"It´s fine." Jungkook forced a smile and looked you in the eyes.

"No, it's really not fine and you need to stop saying that." You came to a halt and he turned to you. He didn't say anything and you couldn't read his facial expressions.

He knew he was dead silent and you probably thought it was weird. Only right now was he taking in how beautiful this side of town was. Large mansion style houses with three cars parked outside each house, modern communal parks and clean streets. You fit in so perfectly here.

If he closed his eyes real tight and concentrated very hard he could imagine himself as a family man in one of these stunning houses. Maybe he could own a Benz that he could take his kids to school in. They would never take the bus and they'd always come home to open arms and a homemade meal on the table.

Warm and lighthearted conversations at the dining table with his wife and children, everything his mom and dad couldn't give him. A pat on the back if they fail a test and not a slap in the face. That's what he wanted to give his children.

Jungkook was lost in thought and so were you. You were stood there thinking about how stunningly pretty Jungkook was. When you were close to him it was almost heartbreaking how it hasn't been appreciated more. How his face belonged on a canvas. That's what you thought of him. You aren't the type to stay silent when you really mean something. For some reason the words just don't come out the right way when you're with him.

"Are your parents home?" He questioned as you kept walking.

"My mom probably. My dad will be home for dinner."

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your mom loves Jungkook and constantly gushes about how well mannered he is. Your dad appreciates that he only speaks when he is spoken to and that he has realistic ambitions. You spend most of your time in the upstairs living room playing a stupid board game and watching a dumb sitcom.

It's quiet most of the time but the both of you can feel that you enjoy each others company. Just simply co-existing and not being alone feels nice for the both of you.

As Jungkook is putting his shoes on to leave, your mom walks in. "Jungkook-ah, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow as well? You're such a pleasure to have as a guest." She proposes, and he nods.

"If Y/N wants to spend time with me two days in a row." He chuckles slightly.

"You know I do."

He smiles, you exchanged goodbyes and he shuts the door behind him. Both you and your mom stay silent for a while before she breaks the silence.

"I hope this boy isn't a pity project to you, honey. You can obviously see that he's struggling and you can't just leave him behind when you're bored of him. He needs you more than you need him." She places her cold hand on your shoulder as she leaves you standing in the hallway.

You're not so sure that he really needs you more than you need him, because you so desperately need a friend.

8 days left

"Jungkookie, can I tell you a secret?" You're situated on your queen bed with floral sheets, both sitting with your legs crossed like 5th grade girls. Jungkook looked up and raised an eyebrow curiously at you as he nodded slowly.

"I was hanging with the wrong crowd a while ago. Not that I'm hanging out with the right crowd now, but you get the expression." You chewed your bottom lip nervously before you continue. "You know when I left school for a month to go to the Caribbeans?"

He lifted his eyebrows and widened his eyes in a "Yes... And?" type of way.

"I wasn´t in the Caribbeans. I was in rehab. An old friend of mine overdosed and I had to get drug tested. I tested positive on coke and my parents shipped me straight off to rehab." His expression softened as he placed a hand on your knee just like you had done to him a few days earlier.

"I was so mad at the time, I wanted to get emancipated from my parents. Today, I'm grateful. Grateful that they helped me so I didn't have to suffer the same fate as my friend." You sigh so deeply you could feel tears stinging in your eyes, but you managed to keep them down.

"Why´d you do it? Take the drugs I mean?" Jungkook asked ever so carefully, and you knew he only meant well.

"I guess I wanted to feel something." You shrug. "I think that´s why everyone does drugs in one way or another. To either feel or not feel." You smile sheepishly.

"What's your secret?" Feeling a little vulnerable and naked, you divert the attention to him. Maybe you're hoping to hear something about his dad. If he hurts Jungkook. That's what you suspect by the clothes Jungkook wears in this hot weather. How he always tugs at his sleeves.

"I want to study nursing." You stare at him and he knows it not as interesting as what you told him. "I haven't told anyone, ever. Maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but to me it's a secret." He stared down in his lap, not meeting your gaze. Chipping at the loose skin around a sore on his hand.

"That's really cool Kook-ah. I'm happy I'm the first to know." He looks back up at you. "Where have you applied?"

"I applied to PNU but tuition wise I think INJE or Dong-A is more realistic."

All of the universities he has applied to are all in Busan and you swore you could hear your own heart shatter. "Busan, really?"

"My aunt lives there and offered to let me stay with her for the first years of my studies." He chimed happily. "I guess I don't have the best relationship with my dad."

You decided not to push it, not to ask any questions quite yet.

"How about you Y/N-ah?" You liked the way your name slipped of his tongue so gently.

"I´ve already accepted my spot at Yonsei. I'm gonna study dentistry, so I guess we'll be in the healthcare field together." You smile, but you can't help that you're looking quite disappointed. In some ways you were hoping for Jungkook to be your forever friend, not a friend you occasionally see whenever you're in each others cities.

"When are you leaving for Busan?" You question.

"After summer, I guess."

7 days left

The empty desk in the classroom makes your insides feel like they're gonna twist and turn and send your breakfast back up your throat. His empty desk.

The two of you had grown abnormally close over the past few days, texting all night and spending the daytime together in some kind of way. Maybe it's because neither of you know how healthy friendships are supposed to be paced, you feel like you've been friends forever.

The entire day went by and all you heard was the tuned out noise of your loud friends yelling across the lunch table with nothing interesting to say at all. Only shit talk and gossip. There's always a new guy or girl to talk shit about. Usually, you wouldn't participate in the chitchat, so they didn't notice your sullen mood today.

No matter how much you tried to paint yourself as a saint or a saviour, you only saw an accomplice when you looked in the mirror. You had the power to make them stop picking on so many people, in some way, they saw you as their leader. Maybe they'd abandon you at some point, but wouldn't it be worth it?

Despite the fact that you never encouraged it, you never stopped them either. So you weren't better than them in any way although you liked to believe so. You liked the validating feeling of them obeying the things you told them to do, and you guessed that´s why you're too scared to confront them. You're scared that they'll rebel against you and leave you behind.

Y/N 11:21 am

Kook-ah, where are u?

Jungkook 11:24 am

At home The walk back from your house gave me a cold I think

Y/N 11:25 am

Oh no :( Get well soon and text me tn!! <3

You knew he was lying and you could feel your heart hurting from lunch time till you were in bed staring at the ceiling. "Honey! Dinner is ready!" Your mom yelled from downstairs, and you barely heard it through your door.

"Not hungry!" You yelled back, continuing the intense stare-off with your ceiling. Your mind explored deep and dark places when you were alone. Letting your mind slip back to your past or the worst experiences throughout your life was very typical of you to do.

The text message you sent to Jungkook is left unread. Until it isn't anymore.

Jungkook 8:21 pm

I really need you right now

You started blankly at the screen, heart pounding in your chest whilst typing your message.

Y/N 8:21 pm

Ofc, where r u???

Jungkook shared his location with you for 1 hour

You raced down the stairs, and your parents looked at you confusedly as you rushed past them and put on your running shoes in the hallway. You so badly wished you had your license. Darting out the door and slamming the door behind you, you weren't thinking straight. The air was cold for a summer night, but it was still bright out.

Jungkook lived on the other side of Goyang, a city right outside Seoul that you both resided in. Walking would probably take you 45 minutes at least. You didn't care. The wind ran through your hair as your breath was pacing. You made awfully loud noises as it was starting to get tiring. You refused to stop running, you couldn't stop running. Your body wouldn't let you.

The location Jungkook sent you was a park, and you guessed it was close to his house. Sometimes you picked up your phone for directions but you never stopped running, you only slowed down to a jog. A faint iron taste was present in your mouth and you were heaving for air, but he needed you.

Someone finally needs you.

You ran across busy roads, cars honking and people yelling out their car windows after you. At some point you even fell and twisted your ankle, but it only slowed you down slightly. At some point you start thinking of other means of transportation you could've turned to to get to him. This felt more rewarding.

"He needs me!" You yelled out like a crazy woman to motivate yourself as you picked up your pace.

"Your destination is 1 minute away." Your phone said from your back pocket. You looked around, and a bench with a silhouette sitting on it caught your eye. You ran over, head banging and feet sore.

You stopped abruptly in front of him, trying to catch your breath. You met his gaze. His teary-eyed gaze. All you could do was throw your arms around him and hold him ever so tightly. He sniffled into your cardigan and held you close.

He was gonna be okay. You didn't ask any questions that night.

6 days left

You were nibbling on a mozzarella stick your mom had packed in your lunchbox. Everyone else was eating the cafeteria food, but you couldn't stand the nauseating creamy pasta they served every other week. All your friends were talking about something you couldn´t focus on. Suddenly a few girls rushed over and shouted your name.

"YN-ah!! They're fighting over you!" You recognised a few of the girls; Jisoo, Heejin and Soomin. They had math class with you, and god, they were loud. Loud but kind. They´d always include you in their conversations since none of your friends were in that class.

You shook your head trying to come back to your senses. "Who is fighting over me?" You blurted out.

"Moonbin made the first punch but he punched back!" Heejin shook your shoulders and made you come with her. "Can you believe it?" She spoke yet again, dragging you down the hallway, your friends were right behind you.

"Who is the other guy?!" You refused to keep walking before they told you.

"Jungkook, obviously! He punched back!" They almost laughed in disbelief.

Jungkook. He was defending himself against Moonbin. The thought sent shivers down your spine. Moonbin was a self proclaimed professional in bathroom fighting. He'd fight anyone for any reason he could think of, just for the fun of it. He didn't leave Jungkook alone when you told him, in fact, it probably provoked him even more that you stood up against him a few days back.

The girls pulled you around the corner and into the mens bathroom. Moonbin had Jungkook by his collar, his nose was bleeding and there was blood on his blue shirt. He didn't look scared though. He looked completely and utterly numb. Moonbin turned around to see you in the doorway, and his face was pretty bruised up too considering the punch had only been thrown minutes ago.

"Moonbin, please stop!" You nearly screamed, choking on a sob. It only infuriated him more and he threw a gut punch at Jungkook. He winced in pain, and you let out a squeal as you could feel it slightly in your own stomach. The pain.

Taehyung came up behind you and you turned to him. "Please, for the love of god, stop them. For me." The tears were running down your face already, and he´d do anything for you if you asked. Taehyung rushed over and separated the two, and a few others who were watching helped hold Moonbin back. You followed close behind, and watched Jungkook slide down against the wall.

"Make them leave, please." You pleaded with Taehyung, and he obliged. He told everyone to get out as you fell to the floor next to Jungkook. You placed your hand on the cut on his lip and wiped the blood off.

"I´m so sorry. So god damn sorry." You sobbed uncontrollably at this point, and he was the one to comfort you when he was the one who was hurt. "Stop apologising." He held you this time.

"I keep making things worse for you. I act like some kind of saviour when I do the exact opposite." His gaze softens.

"It's worth it to me." He says, running his hands through your hair.

"You're worth it to me." You barely hear him saying it, but it's loud enough for you to hear. A soft, pained whisper.

"I think you're the best thing that ever happened to me." You reply.

5 days left

Jungkook was seated on the ottoman, his face covered in band aids and strips. You were twirling around outside the dressing room in a white summery maxi dress. "What about this one?" You question, doing an extra twirl.

"It's nice." He shrugs, letting his eyes wander down your body starting from the top. How the dress hugged you in the completely right places. Your hips and waist looked amazing, and he so badly wanted to touch you. Without the dress if he could, but he'd be more than satisfied with it on.

Your expression saddened as your mouth formed a frown. "Okay, should I be completely honest?" He asked seriously.

"Should I be scared?" You laughed. "Go ahead."

"I think it's beautiful. It's perfect. You're perfect." He said sheepishly. He meant it although he hesitated. You were so perfect. Jungkook hadn't been to the Louvre ever before, but he was sure that a painting of you would attract more attention than the Mona Lisa ever could.

He was sure people would travel from every corner of the world to see your face, even in a painting. Everyone who were lucky enough in person should be thanking the universe for blessing them with the opportunity.

"Really?" You beamed, heart pounding. "Is it okay for graduation?" You look down at yourself hesitantly, the cleavage of the dress maybe dipping down a bit too low.

"More than okay."

The sales assistant came to check up on you and her eyes lit up when she saw you in the dress. "It's gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I think you need this."

"Honestly, I do too after such positive feedback." You giggled lightly. "Can you take his measurements and pick out a suit for him as well please?" You point at Jungkook seated on the green velour ottoman.

"Me?" He was flustered and looked you dead in the eyes.

"Yes, you silly." You smiled softly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He desperately pleaded with you with his eyes and pulled you aside.

"Y/N I can't afford this. I don´t know if you think that I have more money than I do but I seriously have to scrape together money for a new hoodie from H&M."

"No, god. I´m not making you pay when I dragged you all the way over here. Consider it a graduation gift. If not, salary for being my personal shopping assistant." You nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Look, I´ll wear some black pants that sort of look like suit pants and the school uniform shirt. I can't let you do this." He almost pushed you against the wall as he grasped both your shoulders. Unbothered, you pushed his hands off you.

"Can´t let my date wear something simple as that to graduation. My grandparents are gonna frame the pictures of me and you're gonna be in them. I want you to feel confident that day. You deserve it." You pull him in for a hug.

You walked back to the sales assistant. "Will you take him to get his measurements?" She nodded, and now it was your turn to sit on the ottoman. He ended up trying on a few suits, and you landed on one that the both of you really liked. You could see him sweat when looking at the price tag but you reassured him with your soft smile.

"Get changed and we'll go pay." He agreed and disappeared behind the curtain. You fiddled with your phone for a while before going to browse the store. Understandingly, a suit that was so perfect for his figure would take a while to get out off, but you went to check on him.

Between the crack of the curtain and the wall you saw him. His upper body undressed as he touched a wound. His whole back covered in purple, red and dark bruises. You had watched enough medical shows to know that they weren't from yesterday. He had more scars and bruises visible than skin.

He saw you in the mirror and turned around. He looked scared to death. Like you were gonna hurt him as well. "Y/N, what the fuck?" You stood frozen. You were scared too. All your suspicions confirmed. Sometimes, late at night, you'd comfort yourself thinking that you were overreacting.

He threw on his sweater and pushed you to get past. You almost stumbled. Before you knew it, you saw him outside the store window, nearly running to get away. Get away from you and your invasive self. He had hung his suit up carefully, and defeatedly you took it with you to the counter where your dress was laying.

"Can you get the suit delivered? I did something stupid and he's not gonna accept it if I turn up on his doorstep." The cashier understandingly nodded. You took your phone out as you waited for the cashier to finish adding up your total and bagging it up.

Y/N 3:12 pm

I´m so sorry I keep saying sorry but I really do mean it. I'm not gonna bring it up, ever. If you wanna talk I'm here but I´ll keep my mouth shut till you tell me to open it up. Please don´t close down on me.

"Excuse me, miss?" The cashier waved his hand as you had zoned out completely. "Sorry. Your total will be one point four million won." the cashier pointed to the terminal. (About a 1000 USD) "Delivery fees included." You swiped your card and he handed you a beautiful bag with gold writing.

Parts of you wishes that the suit was in the bag and Jungkook was walking nervously next to you.

You had to give him space.

3 days left

All of Sunday had passed without any replies from Jungkook. Your dad dropped you off outside school that morning. You weren't sure if Jungkook would be at school today, but you were dressed up pretty just in case. A pretty frilled blouse only for special occasions.

Like the gods had answered your prayers, you saw him. You met his eyes and he walked over to you. "Y/N-ah, I forgive you. I don't have time for anything else, I´m sorry."

"Time? What do you mean?"

"My aunt called yesterday. She needs help at her restaurant in Busan and asked me if I wanted a summer job and to move in earlier." He was studying your face to see your reaction.

"Jungkook-ah, no..." You whined.

"You of all people should know why I want to leave. Especially after what you saw." He tried to reason with you.

You threw your arms around him in the busy school hallway. "I know." You whispered. "It's okay."

"I just wished we had more time." You smiled bittersweetly as he pulled away. He wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing more than to stay with you forever.

"I got the suit." He changed the subject.

"Are you mad?" You gave him your best puppy eyes.

"Why would I be mad about a great graduation gift?" He laughed wholeheartedly, and his laugh filled your heart with warmth and gave you butterflies. He was making you all jittery.

Why?

2 days left

"Pour me another shot Jungkook-ah!" You held your shot glass in front of him as he smiled at you, pouring soju into your glass. You swung your arms around, singing to the music playing at the restaurant.

"Slow down." He said as he called for the waitress to take the soju away. "That's all for tonight, alright?" He patted your head. You liked the confidence boost the alcohol had given him. How he so openly flirted with you, and it satisfied some deep rooted needs of yours.

He paid for the drinks which you didn't notice in your state. "Let's walk home to sober up. We have school tomorrow."

"I think it's sad that we won't go to school together. We were totally acting like college students today and it was so fun. Drinking on a school night feels crazyyy..." You slurred and he pulled you closer as you almost stumbled over your own feet.

"Yeah, it is sad."

The rest of the walk was silent. Stopping outside your house, you felt a few raindrops hit your cheeks and head. Jungkook cursed under his breath. He had a forty minute walk home. "Do you have an umbrella I could borrow by any chance?" He asked shyly, retorting back to his humble, sober self for a second.

"No. Don´t wanna." You crossed your arms. "My parents are away for their anniversary. Won't be home until graduation." Tugging at his denim jacket sleeve, signalising for him to come inside.

"I shouldn't. I should go home." He refused.

"Sure, you should go home, but do you want to go home?" He looked so gut-wrenchingly sexy underneath the street lights, hair ruffled and a tired look on his face. Shirt unbuttoned so you could see his golden tanned chest.

"No." He replied, and you pulled him inside by his sleeve. You took off your shoes and for a few seconds you just stood looking at each other. Something was in the air. Something you had never felt with Jungkook before. It wasn't comfortable anymore, it was electric.

You needed him so bad and you were about to throw yourself at him. He beat you to it, he grabbed you and pinned you up against the wall. Your lips crashed and you didn't have time to catch a breath. You let out a few desperate moans to catch your breath as you both stumbled down the hallway over to the staircase.

As you were making your way up the stairs, you fell on your butt down on one of the steps and he got on top of you. You chuckled between the desperate kisses as he lifted you up the stairs. He was stronger than you thought.

He went down the upstairs hallway with you in his arms and into your bedroom with an open door. He threw you on the bed and wasted no time in trying to take off your shirt. "Kook-ah, I need you so so bad." You whimpered in despair, rutting your hips forward.

"I´ll make it worth it." He smirked as he kissed you. While kissing you he started unbuttoning your pants and you helped him. You were all exposed to him and he was completely clothed. You looked each other in the eye and slowed down. He started with his jacket. He hesitated with the shirt.

"Can I?" You looked up at him. He nodded slowly. You gently took his t-shirt off, and he felt incredibly exposed with all his bruises on display. You only smiled as you placed kisses on his chest, trailing down his stomach.

He took his pants off on his own and you handed him a condom. He slowed down again and you raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, a thought popped into your head.

"Kook-ah... Are you like.. a virgin?" you ask innocently.

He nods slowly again. "Don't treat me any differently than you would with an experienced guy. Some guidance might be nice but-" He says, panicked. You interrupt him. "So you want this?" You take his hand and you embrace it with your own.

"I want this more than anything." He kissed you again.

"I´ll take care of you." You bit the wrapper open and he put the pieces together as to how you're supposed to put it on.

"Aren't you supposed to do some sort of foreplay before?" He questioned awkwardly.

"It´s usually for the girls´ sake. I don't need that. I need you inside of me." You moaned, leading his body closer to yours. He let his hands slide up the side of your waist before carefully going inside you.

"Okay, do what you want with me." You smirk slyly as you whisper. "I'm yours."

"I know. And I will." He thrusts harder into you and your moans come out in unison. Tears start running down your cheeks and he checks up on you by stopping.

"Please don't stop." You cry out, placing your hands on his back. "Please."

He obliges and doesn´t stop until both your bodies give out. You fall asleep like that, bodies close and sweaty.

1 day left

This wasn't what you two planned at all. You both were pacing around your bedroom, refusing to met each others eyes. The alcohol had clearly gotten to you two yesterday and you the air was different. It wasn't comfortable like usual, or electric last night. It was uncomfortable. You felt like you shouldn't have let him yesterday. You wanted him to lose his virginity with someone he was in love with, not a friend he's been close to for 2 weeks at most.

Jungkook didn´t regret losing his virginity to you, not all. You were careful and tender, but you didn't treat him any differently like he asked you not to do. He was ashamed because he thought you would regret it. That he took advantage of you in your drunken state, and that you wouldn't touch him like that sober.

You threw yourself down on the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked to you and it felt like he was almost choking on his own heartbeats.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?" He asked gently with a sullen tone, sitting down on the bed next to you. You sat up startled when you had processed what he said through your throbbing headache.

"What? No no no..." You cupped his face in your hands and stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I don't regret anything about last night, Kook-ah." You looked distraught, like you really meant it, like you were shocked by what he had said.

"Good. Cause I don't either." He placed his hand on yours. Jungkook took the hand you had placed on his face and placed it on his knee. He drew circles on your palms and made little hearts.

"Whatever this is.. Whatever we're doing right now; I don't want it to end." You smiled teary-eyed. He was leaving you and you didn't know what to do.

Jungkook wasn´t great with this kind of stuff. The touching, the loving and the expressions of love. All he did was nod quietly, and you knew by the look in his eyes that he felt the same.

You didn't know how to identify the feelings you felt for Jungkook. Throughout you've had boyfriends and best friends but none of them made you feel what you were feeling right now. Here, with him.

You had slept with a few guys before, and you've also slept with a best friend before. Taehyung, less than a year back. That felt weird, but not weird in the way Jungkook made you feel.

Not weird in a bad way.

"Y/N... I have to go. My dad´s at a meeting with the department of labor for a few hours and the moving trucks are coming in the meantime." He grimaced, wanting you to understand why he was leaving you high and dry at 6 am like this.

"Aren't you coming to school today?"

"No, I need to do this now or else I don't know how I´ll get out without him finding out." He put on his denim jacket and kissed you on the cheek. "I´ll see you tomorrow."

"If you're moving your stuff out today, where are you staying tonight?" You get up from the bed and you place yourself in front of him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Stay here." You propose, smiling warmly.

God, he loved that smile. He loved you.

That morning, after he left you with your own thoughts again, you walk to school with a skip in your step. Taehyung greets you by the entrance and asks you why you're so smiley and weird today. You tell him that it's just one of those days.

He knows why you're smiling and he hates it. It's because of him. Taehyung can do nothing but observe as you make it so clear to him that you are not his and he is not yours.

You spend the rest of the school day thinking. You had lunch in the cafeteria with your friends and spent most of the time chatting with Taehyung about trivial stuff. University, summer and graduation. He was also staying in Seoul for school and was attending SNU law. You were impressed, not knowing that Taehyung had been able to get his grades up to study law.

"My parents wanted to send me to Harvard but contrary to popular opinion, I think it sounds overrated. I like the idea of being a student in Seoul." Taehyung explained, making you nod your head in agreement.

"I get that. There's just something about Seoul." He smiled as he stole a spoonful of your seaweed soup.

"Hey!" You ruffled his hair, knowing he had spent all morning doing it as revenge. He flung a spoonful of rice at your face and you laughed almost hysterically as you managed to inhale a grain of rice.

After a while you're laughing calmed down and your friends had stopped giving you two a weird look. "Do you have an apartment yet or are you commuting back and forth from your house?" He inquires, stirring his food around as fidgeting.

"I was thinking of moving out but I just can't find the right apartment. There's an open house next week that I want to go to." You explain, and he nods along.

"Is Jungkook coming with you?" He asks, now fiddling with his own thumbs.

"Uh.. no." He looks up at you. "He's moving to Busan tomorrow." You elaborate, and a look of pity flashes across his face.

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Taehyung smiled awkwardly. "So I'm gonna have to go all alone." You were insinuating that he should come with.

"I´ll go with you." He suggests. "If you want me to."

You nod.

It was starting to get dark out when you were seated in your windowsill with the window open. The window from your room had direct view down to the street and your frontyard. As promised, he was there, outside your door, waving up at you.

The day of

Jungkook was trying to curl your hair. After a few burns and a little cursing, he was starting to get the hang of it. You were sitting in front of the vanity with him standing behind you and while he was curling your hair, you were doing your makeup. The two of you were both in bathrobes, your outfits laying neatly on your bed.

"This stuff is hard. I'm sweating in fear of burning myself again." He snickers, and you laugh along.

"I´ll blow on your burns when you're done." You smiled at him in the mirror and you saw his reflection blushing slightly. "When is your train leaving tonight?"

"I'm taking the KTX train around 8 pm so I´ll be in Busan before midnight." He announces, and you feel realisation creeping up on you. Sure, the train ride isn't that long with the speed trains, but he's still far away and you're both gonna be busy. Your parents booked you a graduation trip to Greece with them and then you´re flying straight to Aiya Napa with a few friends, including Taehyung.

"Okay." Is all you manage to utter with a sigh at the end.

"You'll come with me to the train station, right?" He questions.

"Of course." You smile.

He finishes curling your hair and you add the finishing touches to your makeup. "All done." Jungkook grins proudly.

"It´s really pretty, thank you." You shake out the curls to see them properly and run your fingers carefully through them to loosen them up.

"I´m gonna go change." He said, gesturing towards your bathroom.

"Okay, let me do your hair when you're done please!" You request, giving him the puppy eyes that you give everyone when you want something your way.

"Maybe." Jungkook shuts the door behind him.

A few minutes later he came back out, all dressed up. Except the tie that he was holding in his hand. "I can't tie a tie." He admitted ashamedly, letting a slight chuckle escape his lips.

You turn around to see him and you're stunned. He looked great in the white lights in the store dressing rooms, but in this light, he looked gorgeous. The morning summer sun shining in through your window, hitting Jungkook like a spotlight.

Getting up from your chair and walking over to him, your heart was pounding a hundred beats a second. You couldn't shake the weird unidentifiable feeling that you felt when you were close to him. You swung the tie around his neck and tied it tight, but not too tight.

"I´ll send you a video tutorial if you want to know later, but we're gonna run late if we don't hurry up." You smile, patting his shoulder., signaling that you´re all done.

You point your finger to the chair in front of the vanity and he sits down. "Let's see. Hand me your gel." Running your fingers through his hair, he closes his eyes in pleasure.

"It's really nice when you touch my hair." He hums in delight.

You alternate using the comb and your hands and soon you finish up. "You like?" You ask with a satisfied grin on your face.

"I love." He almost blurts out a "you." at the end but he manages to hold it in.

"Now I need to put my dress on." You let your bathrobe fall to the floor, now standing there in your white lace underwear. Jungkook rapidly turns away from you and you laugh.

"After what we've done you really don't need to turn around." You smirk confidently, knowing you're gonna make him flustered. He turns back around, almost shamelessly to watch you.

You slip into the dress and you struggle with the zipper in the back. He notices your struggle and gets up to help you. "Let me." He offers and you would never say no.

He turns you around so he's facing your bare back. He can't help but let his hands caress your back for a while, up and down, back and forth. Seductively, he pulls the zipper up slowly and you can feel his fingers brush up your back as the dress tightens.

Getting ready to leave, Jungkook grabs his little backpack of necessities since all his things are on their way to Busan. After you've celebrated for a while you'll follow him to the train station to say your goodbyes.

Your parents drive you to the ceremony and you both hurried over to get your cap and gowns. The ceremony went nicely, and both you and Jungkook stood posing in your parents photos with your diplomas in hand.

"Kiss her on the cheek Jungkook-ssi!" Your mom laughed and you looked to Jungkook who was looking at your dad with a frightened look on his face.

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek as your dad jokingly shook his head. "What a pretty picture." She fawned when she looked at her camera. "Jinho, come see." Your mother gestured at your father and his lips curled slightly upwards before he pulled himself together.

The whole moment felt bittersweet and went by like you were thinking back on a blurry memory. Giggles, smiles, hugs and joy were the most prominent things in the blur that you felt.

You and Jungkook collected a few of the people who hadn't left school yet and invited them out for drinks. You purposely picked people who you weren't close with, except for Taehyung.

You invited Jisoo, the girl from your math class, a boy you knew from Forensics club and a few others you hadn't spent that much time with. Stumbling down the street to a nearby restaurant, you meet many other classmates. You get situated at a table and you share embarrassing memories from high school.

"Jisoo, do you remember when you got that love letter from Sungkwan and you went around telling-" One of the guys at your table started before Jisoo interrupted.

"Stop! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" She laughed as she reached across the table to give him a little smack on the cheek. You look over to Jungkook who's staring out into the air, ignoring the constant calls from his father.

You take his hand under the table and you stroke his knuckles with your thumb. His shoulders fall down a little from their tense position when you touch him.

The weird feeling gets you again.

You know that Jungkook doesn't share as many fond memories from school as the rest of you around the table do, but you try your best to include him in the conversations when you can.

"Can we go outside?" Jungkook requests. "I have a memory I want to share." You look at him with a questioning look but you oblige and follow him outside.

You're standing outside the restaurant, feeling the summer breeze blow through your hair and your dress billowed to the point where it looked like a fairytale gown.

He gulps. He has always thought you were the prettiest girl in the world, but standing in front of him now, you looked angelic. He silently thanked the universe with blessing him with your presence. That he had gotten the opportunity to touch you and to feel you like he had.

"Y/N. I want to share a fond memory of mine that involved you, many years back." He spoke so formally you almost laughed at him, but you controlled yourself and nodded along. "The year I turned eleven, I invited the whole class to my birthday party. I paced around the floor as the clock ticked past six and no one had showed." He pauses and looks at you.

"I had given up all hope that anyone was gonna show, until you knocked on the door with a birthday card. You were the only person that showed that night and I've never forgotten about it." He sighed and his chest heaved for air.

"I hope you don't think it's weird but I keep the card on my nightstand." He admits ashamedly.

You don´t say anything, you just pull him in for a hug. The two of you stay like that for a while before you go back inside. It's seven pm when you go back inside and your heart feels heavy when you see the time on your phone.

The conversation goes on but you're so deep in your thought that you don't participate. It's hitting you real hard. Jungkook nudges you and shows you his phone with a bus schedule on it. It leaves from the bus stop outside the restaurant in eight minutes. You start saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table before you walk outside.

It´s silent as you're waiting for the bus, silent when you're sitting on the bus to the train station and it's silent when you get off.

"Platform seventeen..." He mumbles to himself and points you both to the right. You could see the sign with the little seventeen on it from afar but you so desperately want to point him in the other direction. Make him miss the train so he has some extra time to think about leaving.

a/n: so sorry for interrupting but if u want u can read the next part listening to the song I listened to while writing (taking pictures of you - the kooks)

He grabs your wrist and leads the way when you hesitate. Platform seventeen is right in front of you now, and the train is already there. He's looking you straight in the eyes, dressed in a suit and hair done all neatly you swore you could pass out.

You knew it was over although it never really started. All you did was spend fourteen days together, moving extremely quickly forward from strangers to being in bed together. You liked those fourteen days, you loved those fourteen days and you hated those fourteen days.

"I have to go." His lips quivered and your eyes stung with tears prickling in your eyes. There came the weird feeling again. This time, it didn't creep up on you, it hit you like a wave hits you at the beach, the type that makes you lose your balance and swallow a whole lot of water, struggling to get a breath of air. The feeling was unfamiliar to you and it felt uncomfortable.

"I really liked these fourteen days." You smiled genuinely through your tears. He pulled you in for another hug, less stiff than the ones before. It felt good to hug him, to get that last inhale of his cologne and the scent of his shampoo.

"Me too. I loved them." He spoke into your hair as he took in your scent for the last time in a while as well. "Visit me, please Y/N."

"Of course. I´ll come toward the end of the summer." You pulled away from the embrace to look him in the eyes. Before you knew it, you were kissing. The conductor yelled out that the train was leaving and he was the one to pull away this time. You took his hand and as he walked away his hand slipped away from yours.

He stepped on the train and you saw him through the window, never losing eye contact. You stood still on the platform as you were reduced to tears. The dark mascara that was running down your cheeks were the perfect contrast to the gorgeous white dress you were wearing. His denim jacket draped over your shoulders and your strappy baby pink heels in your left hand.

You were straight out of a movie.

As the train started moving, the feeling grew stronger as it finally hit you. You knew what you were feeling, and you had been denying it for too long.

It was love.

You were in love with Jeon Jungkook and he was leaving.

a/n: honestly that's the end but if u want to read a sneak peek of part 2 then scroll down a little!! join the taglist here if u want to be tagged in part 2.

The Epilogue

Day 1140

It was late at night and your friends had dragged you out of your apartment to go to some stupid club that had just opened in Gangnam. You weren't friends with any of your old friends anymore, just Taehyung.

You and Taehyung could be considered more than friends but less than lovers. It was complicated and not exclusive so you thought that you might as well find someone to spend the night with. He was sleeping with other women, so you felt like you should as well.

The music was blasting way too loud from the speakers and it was awfully crowded on the dance floor. You finally made your way to the ambient bar that was on the quieter side. Club standard quiet, of course. You ordered a gin and tonic to loosen up and have some fun.

The first year of university, you spent everyday partying and bringing new guys back to the apartment you shared with your best friend Hayoon. She eventually grew tired of it and so did you. You spent the second year dating, meeting new guys from Tinder or agreeing to blind dates that Hayoon arranged, and that didn't work out either.

By the time you started your third year you settled down with being Taehyung´s something. Sometimes, your mind would drift back to what you felt for Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in 3 years and you never visited him in Busan, but what you felt when you stood on platform seventeen is a feeling you'll never forget.

You cancelled your visit to Busan in the summer and promised to visit for fall break. By the time fall break came around, he wasn't picking up your calls. You kept calling for a few weeks and in anger and spite you blocked his number and never reached out again.

You asked the bartender for a straw just so you could stir the ice cubes around. Boredom washed over you after a while, so you moved seats to sit closer to the one window that wasn't shaded black. You saw the busy streets, girls with wobbly knees and high heels who held on to their boyfriends for support.

You were scouting the streets for something interesting to let your tired eyes focus on. Just like fate, like it was written in the stars, he was there. Jungkook was there. Rubbing your eyes and closing them for a few seconds didn't make him go away. You got off the barstool and picked up your bag, ready to rush out into the street.

You didn't know what to say or how to approach him, but you had to do something. Maybe take his hand and lead him away, let him say the first sentence and really let his voice soak in. Let his words surround you and his hands touch you.

You walked as fast as you could out the door in your own high heels. You were like those couples, he was missing the girl in high heels and you were missing the boy to support yourself on. You stood frozen on the sidewalk as he stood across the road from you. A girl leapt into his arms, dark raven curls bouncing as he caught her and pulled her in for a warm embrace.

Only now did you take your time to process how Jungkook looked. He was buff and muscular with a tattoo sleeve. Only in a t-shirt at night, his arms were free from any bruising. You were smiling like an idiot until you snapped back to reality and realised that he was holding someone else.

She kissed him,

and he kissed her.

fin.

(for now)

part 2 taglist

[aachria]

omg i forgot it was sunday and im currently at a big ass family gathering and when i tell you i lit up the second i saw rhe notification i am not joking

Ed and Law interactions 🤭

I might jst be tripping but is the devil fruit affecting ed's ability to do shit bcz when did this mf become a gymnast or like did i jst forget something along the way or is it jst an effect of being a pirate so long?

I love that ed is the detective of the damned and coin is the tailor of purgatory is so real and i love it sm

Ed and Rayleigh talking abt ed's home and adding to everyone's confusin is so fun, and ed looking at Rayleigh like he hung the fcking moon os awesome

Letter from coin letter from coin letter from coin IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHATS IN IT but sadly i have a feeling ed won't get the chance to read it anytime soon

I stand by what i said tho either ed gets a training arc with grunkle coin or ends up on the execution stand. 30/70%. No in between.

Anyways, awesome chapter as always!!!

Sometimes you just magically learn gymnastics through the power of osmosis and weird Devil Fruit power ups. Don’t look at me I don’t know what I’m doing I never even learned how to do a cartwheel.

Those two nerds are ✨twinning✨ and it’s something I find terribly funny. And Coin being mistaken for a tailor in the first place is so fucking hilarious to me and only me. I am my own target audience.

Ed and Rayleigh hold such a special place in my heart and UGH the EMOTIONS and FEELINGS SHIT you don’t even get the subtext and context for lives in my head like a very chatty tapeworm.

The sheer amount of you here and in the comments who are so certain Ed is not going to be reading this letter is so goddamn funny. I’m out here training you guys into waiting any time I mention something that will happen and don’t immediately have it happen in the same chapter 😭 I shall assuage your fears, young one. Ed reads the letter next chapter.

I mean… the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive…….

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles Panel | Brighton UK (Crossroads 6), March 11, 2023

( sicparvis87 )

Jensen: IT’S ONLY SATURDAY WE GOT A WHOLE OTHER DAY, PACE YOURSELF! (to Danneel) have YOU been pacing yourself? Danneel : No! (x)

“are you ready for this?” - jensen to danneel  (x)

Ok, so. Danneel’s first con was a Starfury. Jensen said she shouldn’t brag. And a bit later Jensen said he had the dancing covered. (x)

“as long as there’s no dancing i’ll be fine” “it’s okay i have that covered”  (x)

“we’ve got to develop some projects currently in development”  (x)

Jensen saying he’s really proud of what they’ve been doing with the Winchesters and what’s in the work.  (x)

“i wanna work with the people i know i trust and who are outstanding human beings”  (x)

Dream projects? Jensen: “Ruth would obviously be the star.” (Ruth is watching from the balcony.) “Oh hey, Ruth, didn’t see you there.” He wants to work with the people he trusts, outstanding human beings. (x)

Jensen: “we’ve had 15 years to weed out the bad people, I’m not sure how Mark Sheppard is still here…”  (x)

Jensen just wants to work with the people he’s got to work with who are just good people. It’s gotta be grounded in love, family, a tad of humor and a little magic.  (x)

“it’s gotta have heart, humour and a little bit of magic” the unofficial tagline of their company  (x)

Jensen helping Danneel count for how many years they’ve been together when she started as Anael on SPN  (x)

How was it working on set. Danneel struggles with how long she’s been together with Jensen. Jensen knows it would’ve been 12 seasons when she came in at 13 and is proud he knows. (x)

Jensen immediately asked “IS THAT ON THE GAG REEL” when Danneel fell during her first scene on SPN  (x)

“i did not act like a husband in that moment” jensen too focused on getting danneels gag reel moment on film instead of helping her  (x)

Danneel put together a whole playlist for The Winchesters before they even cast anyone, and a lot of it actually made it onto the show. They chose “I’d Love To Change The World” which in the pilot FIRST.  (x)

Which scene with music from The Winchesters did they like most? Danneel put together a playlist before they even cast, a lot of it made it on the show. “10 years after”/I love to change the world” (?) really set the tone. (x)  But a lit of songs they wanted were too expensive to afford. On SPN, as production got more expensive, they had to stop using music so much, used more score to save money (x) 

“i get to go and destroy some robots in a warehouse? i’m in. i’m easy” (x)

Jensen is easy. When he heard he gets to come on the set and destroy a bunch of robots, he was in, but doesn’t play a lot of video games. Danneel snitches that he plays Mario Cart with the kids almost daily. (x)

Jensen said he doesn't play video game anymore but Danneel said he plays Mario Kart almost everyday with the kids  (x)

In his old house pre-Danneel he had a special dark room with two TVs and two couches to play Halo with his friends. (Danneel snitches again.) He plays “blue shy guy” on Mario Cart. (x)

Fan asked if Jensen plays video game and Danneel went “well you play one every day”. And Jensen went “Wordle? … BACKGAMMON?!” (The answer is Mario Kart because he plays it with the kids)  (x)

help jensen is so excited to introduce his kids to his fave videos games when they’re older and he also doesn’t always let his kids win video games which danneel finds mean considering he’s competed by 6 year olds (paraphrase)  (x)

“I know your next question, it’s ‘what character do I choose on Mario kart’, the answer is blue shy guy. I’m a shy guy ” (x)

Q person reccs Red Dead Redemption. Jensen really wanted The Last of Us, but when he heard Pedro got the job, he knew he had no shot. (x)

Jensen really wanted to be on The Last of Us, then he heard Pedro Pascal got the part and went “oh no he’s PERFECT” (im paraphrasing but he was nerding out )  (x)

They’re talking about recreating the music video for their anniversary. Their friend did it first as a birthday gag. So he suggested they do it “for instagram”. Danneel was like “let’s go”. and they got into a serious fight over who would be Paul Simon  (x)

Danneel says they do zero work for instagram content. Q was about the music vid years ago. The Ackles’s argued who plays Chevy and who plays Paul Simon. Jensen complains about having to be the short guy again. He’s gonna get a complex. He yells for Mark to come down. (x)

Danneel telling Jensen he was so good on their anniversary video, and telling him “you were made to play Paul Simon”  (x)

“it was very rare for him to be home during the week… for 15 years”  (x)

He also said he was really sad his kids wouldn’t get to experience the whole ‘taking the cartridge off and having to blow on it for it to work again’ (x)

Danneel didn’t wanna be in The French Mistake bc it’s “Jensen’s thing”  (x)

Karaoke. Danneel only did it once. Sang “Band of the run” and there was a very long musical interlude. It scared her so much she never did it again. Jensen went with the Dawson’s Creek gang and sang “El Paso”.  (x)

Everyone put their glass down either in amazement or shock. There’s a plate in a corner of that bar with an etching how great that night was, Jensen jokes. (x)

Editor, director, actor walk into a bar, you can only buy one drink? Danneel: Editor, they can make you look good. Jensen: Would buy himself a drink. (x)

Danneel once got handed a bag with her as a doll filled with fish hooks. She blindly reached in the bag and straight into a hook. (x)

They’re talking about creepy fans, and Danneel just said “they’re not fans of the show, fans of the show don’t do these things”  (x)

danneel is telling a story abt her accepting a gift off a fan of her being made into a doll out of fish hooks and she accidentally got hurt and jensen said ‘you know how much i had to PAY for that doll?!’  (x)

Weirdest thing given to Jen and Dee, someone left a dead kitten on their door step  (x)

jensens talking about how performing radio company concert for the first time was a very different experience to acting or performing other peoples songs bc with those other two you interpret it your own way but it’s still other peoples words but these were his and steve’s  (x)

Playing in Nashville and performing words he actually wrote himself with Steve was “next level”. Danneel adds that he was nervous and he doesn’t get nervous. (x)

“to get out there and perform something you created it’s certainly more of a vulnerability”  (x)

danneel watched the concert with the kids on stageit. “they thought it was cool” (x)

The kids were pretty impressed seeing him on stage, but they see him play a lot, because he plays them songs on the piano at home all the time.  (x)

their kids have watched the scoobynatural episode so many times  (x)

Jensen is talking about fighting to have Dean dying while he was standing instead of how it was originally planned with Dean dying on the floor. (x)

Jensen about Dean’s death: “I don’t have to LIKE it, but I’m proud of it.”  (x)

Jensen would change how they handled the Leviathans and get rid of them sooner if he got to change something  (x)

What would Dean from s15 tell Dean from s4? Danneel: Beware of vampires!  (x)

question about what directors inspired them the most! (Jensen’s answer has been long but he mentioned Kim Manners, Bob Singer and John Showalter)  (x)

jensen ensuring he was conscious of every crew members job so that they felt like they had purpose.  (x)

Kim Manners and Bob Singer, they both set the tone on the show. Micromanaged. Kim said “you’re gonna direct one day” to Jensen and it got him thinking. It was becausehe was interested in the lenses, lighting & such. (x)

Bob and Phil Sgriccia helped him a lot. Phil said “always have an answer, even if it’s wrong.” Because when you say “you pick” or “whatever” to a Q from someone working for you, you dimish the other person’s job. And you can always change your mind & that tells them you thought (x)  about it, thus making their job even more important. (x)

To Danneel; how did you know he (Jensen) was THE ONE? Jensen; *cracks up* Danneel: It was on Ten Inch Hero, I always knew he was cute and all of that, but… It was one of those, we were driving back and forth, and just talking about our future, and our career (x)  Danneel: I’m a girl who likes to do things first. (…) At the end of the movie, there’s a scene where I walked up to Priestly and gave him a kiss… That was NOT scripted.(x)  Danneel: but obviously Jensen had read the script, he knew it wasn’t scripted. I just knew I had to do something else or it would be too late. (x)

danneel knew by the end of filming ten inch hero once they’d spent time doing long drives talking about their futures and everything and then in the scene where she kisses priestly wasn’t scripted and jensen was like “oh!!!!!! i caught a BIG fish let’s go!”  (x)  “i like your talent your cute your-” “you were like this one can give me good kids” “yeah i saw you with your nephews and-“ “and you were like this is a good pedigree!” (x)

J-yeah but after we dated when did you know I was the one to marry They went on vacation and her mum knew then D needed to marry him. J-i knew I needed to spend the rest of my life impressing her  (x)

When did Danneel know that Jensen was the one? They were friends before but thought they would never be together. They carpooled to the Ten Inch Hero set. 40 mins each way, just talking about the future, how they were raised, carreer… (x)  She always knew Jensen was cute, but those talks really did it. In the last scene of the movie, the little kiss between their characters wasn’t scripted, that was Danneel making the first move. (x)  Jensen immediately knew it was a big fish snd went “bzzzz” (reeling in noise). Jensen prods when she knew he was the one to marry though. They went on a family trip. Then Jensen knew he’d spend the rest of his life trying to impress her. Danneel’s mom knew they were it too. (x)

Jensen: “I’m gonna try to impress for the rest of my life… Still hasn’t done it! I’m gonna keep trying to.” (x)

Danneel said she was really nervous up until she did her first photo ops and everyone was so nice to her  (x)

( MurielFPhotos )

[writersmess]

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND | DEREK HALE

Pairing: Derek Hale x fem!reader

Summary: you came back to Beacon Hills after so many years and definitely didn’t expected to find Derek Hale in town.

Warning: mentions of abusive relationship, mentions of SMUT, swearing, jealousy reader, fluffy, no use of yn.

Word count: 4k

a/n: hey there, this one is my first writing ever hehe, actually im a lit bit nervous. Also english is not my first language so forgive me if you find some mistakes.

Masterlist

.............................................................................................

They’ve met since highschool.

He was a Hale.

She was a McCall.

She was best friend with his sister, Laura. He was popular, everyone liked him and she was quiet, smart, what so called nerd.

She was always in his house, even became friends with Peter, which no one agreed, but he liked her. Everybody liked her.

How could they not.

She was sunshine, her smile would light up any place she was in. She didn’t like to talk much, but when words came out of her mouth it was like a song, a really beautiful one.

And her eyes, so bright, so full of life, of hope.

They got close, really close. Always together, sharing secrets, had their own inside jokes. Laura was so jealous, after all, she was her friend first. He couldn’t steal her like this.

But she ended developing feelings for him, not that she wanted to, but how could she not. Derek was so much.

So loveable. So caring, so funny, so beautiful, so kind.

And Talia loved her so much. Always joking around about her being in the family for good.

Everybody seemed to know about her feelings for him. Except for himself.

Derek was so blind about her feelings, of how much her heart belonged to him, and without even realizing it he broke her heart. Shattered it. When he chose Paige.

He chose Paige over her. Over sunshine.

It hurts so much. It was so hard to see them together all the time. To have the feeling of not being enough. Because if she was enough, he would’ve chosen her.

Laura always tried her best to get her friend out of her sadness. Hell, even Peter was hating so much to see her like that. That light in her that once was so bright, was completely off.

But then it all happened.

Paige was gone.

The Hale’s were gone.

Suddenly Derek was all alone. She was all he had left.

He could only find comfort in her.

But she had also lost them. They were also her family. She had lost her best friends. The only ones she has ever had.

She was trying so hard to be strong for him.

But then he was also gone. He couldn’t bare live without them, without any of them.

And then she was there, all of sudden, alone.

***

You never thought you would return to Beacon Hills, especially under these conditions. You were so strong, why didn’t you fight harder? Why were you standing here at your mother’s doorstep with bruises all over your body?

You got back to reality after hearing your name being called.

“what the hell happened?” it was Scott, your little brother.

You couldn’t find the right words in that moment. You were so broken, words could never describe how you were feeling.

Tears streamed down your face and all you wanted to do was hug him, and you did. In a failed attempt to feel safe, to feel cared for.

It was a misunderstanding to say scott was preoccupied. He was desperate. What the hell happened to his big sister. What happened that he wasn’t capable to protect you. Was it supernatural? Was someone after you in order to get to him?

He could see the bruises all over your body, some bandages in your head and even a broken arm. But the look on your face, that would be something he would never forget. That sadness in your eyes.

You hadn’t noticed the people gathered in the living room, paying attention to what was going on. Some of them not even knowing who you were and some feeling heartbroken to see you like that, wondering what had happened.

“who is that” Malia asked and Derek quickly answered.

“do you know her?” Stiles inquired curious but without taking his eyes off you still at the door with Scott. His heart was beating like crazy in his chest, you were the big sister he never had and he loved you with all his heart.

Derek never answered, he was too preoccupied with this hole situation. His jaw was clenched and his fists ready to knock someone down.

After promising Scott you’re going to explain it all to him later, you just got to your room still not noticing the group in astonishment looking at you.

***

Your mom was there hugging you, stiles was holding your hand and Scott was about to make a hole in the ground from walking back and forth.

You’re telling them about what happened. How you were so involved in this relationship that you couldn’t realized how toxic it was. Not even when you were mistreated, or when you were accused of drawing too much attention to yourself wherever you went and were cursed at. But things changed when he decided to hit you and you fought back. And when you fought back, he wanted to kill you.

And he was going to.

If it hadn’t been for your best friends and their teammates, he would have killed you.

Thanks to them you were alive. But that doesn’t mean you came out unscathed. Oh no. You had so many bruises on your body, he hit your head so many times on the wall that you ended up with a concussion. And the broken arm. He managed to do this after you hit him on the head with a vase. He was so enraged.

But you were okay now. You were with your family and that’s all that mattered now.

Even your dad was aware of your situation, he was there with you in the hospital and he made sure he would end up with that boy’s life. And you believed him.

***

A few days has passed by and you were still unable to leave your room. You could not face reality, not yet.

Scott and stiles were trying so hard to make you feel better, at least to make you feel less miserable.

Today you finally agreed to attend their weekly meeting, it would be at your house so all you had to do was go downstairs and spend the evening sitting on the couch dodging the curious looks that the teenagers would give you all night long. You sighed tiredly at this thought and started to go down the stairs, breathing deeply in pain when you reached the end.

As soon as stiles saw you, he ran to take your hand and help you get in the room. You didn’t look at anyone directly in the eyes, you were too embarrassed to do this. When you were comfortable settled, stiles started to introduce their friends.

You laugh when he introduced Lydia and mocked him for his crush on her since kindergarten. You got shocked when he introduced Malia as Scott’s girlfriend and how you had no idea he had someone. You smiled at Liam and Mason, blushed at Parish because if there was a beautiful man in this room, it would be him.

“and thats Peter-“

You froze.

What the- Peter was dead.

“yo- you were dead” you gasped unable to say anything else.

When you tried to get on your feet, Peter was fast enough to catch you. You were paralyzed. When you look around expecting to understand what was going on, you heart beat even faster if it was possible.

It was him.

Derek.

You never thought you’d see them again.

Your eyes locked with that green eyes that you were so in love with many years back.

“do you know Peter?” stiles asked confused taking you out of that shock.

“i- i studied with Derek and somehow Peter was one of my best friends” you answer looking at Peter who had that grin in his face. That stupid grin. You missed him and Derek so much.

You could not believe they were here.

Actually why were they here with you brother and his teenagers friends, you started to wonder.

The boys come to sit close to you and you were still so shocked with all of this that they did the most talking. You’re so flustered around Derek again, how could you be like that after so many years. Your cheeks couldn’t find their way back to the normal color, you’re so embarrassed. And after all these years of not seeing Derek and thinking Peter was dead, they got to see you at you worse.

After a couple hours of talking and laughing with the group, you could feel the effect of the drugs wearing off and the pain coming back with full force into your body. You head to the kitchen to drink some water and when you finally found yourself alone, you let the tears silently roll down your face.

You tried to pull yourself together when you heard someone coming, but soon calmed down when you saw those green eyes looking at you so deeply. Derek didn’t have to say anything, he put his hand on your face and you saw when his veins turned black, taking your pain with them. You left a relief groan slip out of your mouth, and the tears soon stopped to roll down your face.

“thanks” you murmured and he just smiled at you. You could feel the pity in his eyes and it made you look somewhere else.

“i wish i could do more” you felt the sincerity in his words and did nothing to stop your arms from hugging him, wich he returned quickly. “I’m so sorry i left” he murmured against your neck and you could feel the shivers running down your spine.

“you don’t have to be sorry, Derek” you looked him in the eyes and you could feel the pain irradiating from them “it was your family, it was your pain and you had to find a way to deal with it”

“they were your family too.” and with that you could feel those damn tears again. It was true, you loved them so much, all of them. And they loved you too.

After he brought you to your room, you noticed when he kept wandering around the room, looking at the details that were the same as so many years ago.

“it didn’t change at all” he said looking at some pictures on the photo wall.

“as soon as that school year was over, i left too” you said laying in the bed, trying to find a comfortable position and he gave you those eyes again “i went to med school and i didn’t think i would ever come back, until- you know”

You stared at each other for a few seconds and you weren’t sure if he was listening to your heart at that moment, but if he was, he would know exactly how you were feeling.

“c-could you lay with me a lit bit.. like the old times please?” if he didn’t have that super audition you were sure he wouldn’t have listened to what you said.

“sure” he smirked and laid down with you.

Back in the old days when you had trouble sleeping he would come running to help, he would just lay there with you until daylight or until your mother almost caught you. She would have killed you.

Despite the shyness you got comfortable into each others arms and that would be the best sleep you would have had in weeks.

***

You had just came back from the hospital. It was the first job interview you had since you arrived the town a couple months ago and your mother gossiped you that the job was definitely already yours.

You were so excited humming in the kitchen as you started to prepare your dinner. That was until you heard the loud noise coming from outside the kitchen doors.

Suddenly Scott came in with stiles screaming and leaning on his shoulders, he was limping and your brother quickly put him on the couch. You could see the wound on his leg and from a distance you could tell that it was not a matter of life and death. When you were getting ready to go to Stiles, your heart nearly burst out of your mouth. Peter and Liam followed behind with a half unconscious Derek and you soon noticed a hole in his abdomen.

You are standing in the middle of the room looking at the two people you cared so much about and seeing all the commotion you had to make a quick decision on who you would take care first. You looked at Derek for a second-

It had to be Stiles.

“look at me sweetheart” you were talking him down while opening the first aid kit “i need you to stay calm, you’re going to be just fine” he was screaming like crazy.

You took a good look at his leg and notice it was a graze wound. He was going to live. You sterilized the place and put some gauze over it, as well as give some pain medicine to Stiles. You made sure he was okay for now so you could move on to Derek and Lydia said that she was going to look after him. She also had some bruises in her face that you would give a look as soon as you had Derek okay.

Once you ran to Derek, you took his shirt off so you take a good look at his wound. He was about to go unconscious. You took his face in your hands giving him a look.

“why aren’t you healing” you didn’t notice the looks your brother and his friends gave you, but Scott definitely wouldn’t let that go. It took you a second to realize what was causing the veins around his wound to get black and why he was pale as snow. “wolfsbane” you murmured to yourself and ran to the kitchen to get something.

Once you had the small porch in hands, you came back to him. He was in so much pain. You knew that was about to happen now was going to hurt even more and took a second to prepare yourself.

“Der look at me” you said trying to catch his attention but it didn’t work.

As you were setting the wound on fire, you tried to stay still when you heard that roar coming out of Derek’s mouth. His eyes turning into a bright blue you’ve seen before. You let a few tears roll down your face and took a deep breath when you finished.

“you’re going to be okay” you murmured looking at his face while he was now unconscious.

After stitching Stiles in silence and making sure Lydia’s injuries was superficial. You took a minute to take a deep breath and tried to stop your hands from shake.

It didn’t go unnoticed the look Scott gave you.

***

Derek was lying on your bed still unconscious after peter and scott brought him here to rest a bit. So as you thought.

You had just left the shower after everything that had happened a few minutes ago, and were so mad after finding out that Peter had turned your brother, that you didn’t bother to check if Derek was still sleeping.

Which he was not.

He couldn’t believe his eyes when you left the bathroom wearing just a towel and stopped in front on the wardrobe. He didn’t want to get you embarrassed so he didn’t make a sound, at least he was trying to. And how he was trying. Especially when you let the tower fall to the ground. In that moment he could swear he was dead and head straight to heaven.

When you bent down to put on your panties he swore his eyes would roll away from his face. You definitely couldn’t look at him right now or you would see his completely hard cock.

You were so fucking beautiful.

It has been so hard for him since you came back. You looked so different since the last time he saw you, so beautiful, so hot. Being around you, sleeping in the same bad, it would kill him anytime.

Once he came back to Beacon hills after a few years, he didn’t expect you to be gone. Which was selfish from him to want, but he missed you so much. After Peter was back to life, he told Derek how much you liked him and how he had broken your heart. He had no idea, he would never do that to you. He loved you. The only reason he chose Paige was because he never thought you would feel the same as him. How stupid he was.

After you got dressed, you sat in the armchair by the window and were too distracted to notice how hard Derek was. A few minutes were enough for him to calm down and pretend that he was finally waking up.

“hey derbear, how are you feeling” your touch was so soft at his face. He had to take a deep breath.

“like shit” that smile on your face.

He was so fucked up. He was in love with you.

“come on, let’s get your ass to your place so you can take a proper rest”

It was your ass that he wanted to-

***

A few days has passed by and you got the job at the hospital and also got the house you had visited a few days ago. You were finally putting your life back in tracks again.

You were eager to tell the news to him. After so many years, so many relationships, a really bad one and yet here you were again, in love with your best friend.

You texted Peter so he could meet you at Derek’s and he quickly replied that would get there soon.

“morning derbear” you hummed as you entered the loft “got some big news” you continued to sing while shutting the door, and the minute you looked at the living room you froze.

“and you must be her.” A woman was sitting at Derek’s side with a huge smile in her face.

“and you are?” you asked her back in defensive.

“oh I’m an old friend of Derek” she laughed as she touched him. “im Braeden, nice to meet you” she introduced herself while was still leaning on Derek

Why the hell she needed to touch him this much.

As you continued frozen in the middle of the room, you could notice the way they looked at each other, the way Derek had a smile in his face. That smile.

This could not be happening again.

You heard Peter getting in the loft and after leaving a kiss in your cheeks, he went straight to the kitchen.

“ahm, my mom just texted me. She needs me right now” you pretended that you were reading something in your phone. You just needed to get out of there.

“do you need us to go with you?” you controlled the urge to roll your eyes when heard derek speaking

“no it’s a family emergency. Thanks though”

When you looked at Peter you could tell he was listening to your heart. That bastard. His eyebrows were raised and had that grin in that stupid face.

“but what about the news you were so eager to tell us” he was teasing you

“no big deal. Gotta go, see you later”

You tried not to run to the door, but as soon as you stepped outside you could feel your face burning with anger and the tears threatening to come out. You were so damn stupid.

As the day went by, derek tried to reach you but you never answered his messages or called him back. You just needed a time to yourself.

You’re a mess in your bedroom, sitting on the floor putting your things in the boxes. You have to confess that you’ve been crying all afternoon. You were a mix of anger, sadness and jealous, everything in once. When Peter called you, you stared at the phone a few seconds wondering if you should answer him.

“hey Pete” as soon as you picked up, he knew you’ve been crying

“hey babygirl” he knew you loved when he called you that.

What both of you didn’t know, was that Derek was sitting on the other room listening to your phonecall. He didn’t want to, but when you avoided him the entire day he knew something was off.

“you’ve been crying” he stated the obvious and heard a muffled laugh coming from you “do you need me there with you?”

“no sweetheart, i just need to be alone right now” you sighed feeling the tears coming down again “im just so stupid you know, how after so many years im feeling like this again” he just stayed there, listening to you “you know how i was, you were there with me, i- i just didn’t want to have feelings for him, specially when i am sure now that derek doesn’t feel the same way”

That was it.

All Derek needed to hear.

He was madly in love with you, he has always been. How could you think otherwise.

He waited until everyone was asleep and went to your house. He climbed up to your window like he had done too many times before and knocked waiting for you. But you never showed up. You had also locked your window. You had never done that before.

***

That was enough.

You’ve been avoiding Derek over a week now and he had enough with that. He found out that you were no longer living with your mom and brother and no one would tell him where you were living. That was until today when he had to threaten Peter and even sunk his claws a bit into his uncle's neck. He was enough with that shit.

Derek was so mad with this hole situation. He wanted to see you, to talk to you.

He needed you.

He waited in the hospital parking lot until he saw you. He pulled up in front of you and you didn't calm down until you saw who it was. Your eyes were still wide open and your heart was beating faster.

“get in” he said in a serious tone that scared you a lit bit

“but my ca-“ he didn’t let you finish the sentence

“get in the fucking car. Now.”

You got into the car without a second thought and you could have sworn that at any moment you would die of how fast your heart was beating.

The drive to his house was was silent and it felt like an eternity.

You both entered his loft and you went straight to the kitchen to drink some water. You were totally running away from him.

“Would you care to explain to me what the hell is going on?” his voice was so serious that a shiver ran down your spine. This was definitely not the right time to be having such impure thoughts with Derek.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about” you definitely knew.

“you had been avoiding me this hole damn week”

“I had not” you definitely were.

“what is going on? Why you don’t wanna talk to me”

He got close. Really close. You put the glass in the sink before your trembling hands knocked it to the floor.

“why did I have to find out from Peter that you moved and got a new job” his voice was getting lower as he was getting closer to your body

Fucking peter.

“It’s not as if I didn’t try to tell you. But you were too busy with your old friend to pay attention to anything other than that beautiful smile of hers”

He smirked.

Why was he smirking.

“so you were so jealous that you decided to avoid me? Tell me how that worked”

His body was now pinning you on the kitchen counter. You could feel the heat radiating from Derek’s body. And you felt the same way. Your face was burning, and this time it wasn’t from shame or anger.

“tell me baby, did it work?” his voice was now so low, so deep near your ear. You had to hold back with all your strength to not let a groan escape your mouth.

“no” you muttered and for a brief moment you doubted he would hear you. But he did.

“i want you to tell me what you want”

One of his hands was on your waist, and the other went slowly up your waist, your belly, the hollow of your breasts until it stopped at your face, where he held you firmly.

You could cum right there at the touch of that big hand running all over your body.

“look at me and tell me what you want”

His mouth was so close to yours that you had to close your eyes for a second, but opened them quickly when you felt a slight tightness in your face. He wanted you to look at him when you said what you wanted. He knew what it was and how bad you wanted, but he wanted to hear you, he wanted to hear you beg.

“you Der... i want you”

You whispered and it was enough for him to glue your mouths together. You had no idea how much he dreamed of this moment, how much he needed this.

You felt him asking you to deepen the kiss and you didn’t hesitate for a moment. The moment you felt his warm tongue on yours, an involuntary moan came out of your mouth.

You would be the ruin of Derek Hale.

He grabbed you by your ass, forcing you to wrap your legs around his back, and led you into the bedroom.

Before you knew it you were both naked. You could feel his warm skin on yours, his scruffy beard running across your skin, his hands touching you like there was no tomorrow.

At that moment you had no more doubts, no more questions. It was only a certainty.

You were his. He was yours.

You had never felt such pleasure in your life as you did at that moment, when you felt Derek get inside you calmly, slowly. You could feel every inch of him and he could feel how tight you were.

You were a mess of moans and pleasure. He started out slowly wanting nothing but to feel you, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more, needed more, you both did. Before you could realize it Derek was moving masterfully inside you, taking you to places you had never been before. Taking you to your edge.

Your moans were like music to his ears and he wanted more and wanted it for the rest of his life.

You were his.

Before you could hold back, it hit you. You could only moan and arch your back as if begging him to go deeper.

Derek couldn’t hold on much longer after seeing you like that, totally surrendered to him, surrendered to the pleasure he gave you and would give you for the rest of your life.

You were in the shower, the water falling on his back, when he looked at you deeper than ever. Those green eyes tattooed on your soul.

“i love you. Always had and always will”

Your eyes filled with tears, the happy ones. That was the moment you had waited for your entire life.

“love you too, derbear”

That moment would forever be in your memory, the moment when you silently made love wows and promised to always have each other.

[soulreapin]

hello!! i just read your fics “ compliments ( rather than coffee ) “ and “ bad taste ( but he’s booksmart ) “ and they are so good!! i never knew i needed library romance until now. i love the two of them bonding over books and the plots are so interesting and lovely to read!! also extra kudos for brown eyed lance and horticulture student romelle ( and the romellura mention!! ) those made my day :D thank u so much!! 🫶🫶

ah!!! thank you so much dear im glad you loved them

literature loser keith always has a special place in my heart and someday soon i will write swimmer lance and lit nerd keith

🫶🫶

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

hiiii just popping in to ask if u have a favorite Rangers Apprentice character ^_^

So far? (im like 2 chaps. from finishing. i think) Fucking love Halt he’s funky and Gaelic in some flavour and shaping up to be dad shaped for Will (Question/Theory: Is Holt Will’s Dad? wait don’t answer that. Did Holt Know Wills Dad? wait don’t answer that either). (love the thread of him will trying to get him to smile, it’s very in character or him and really made me smile in the end. heh. also wills curiosity feels so real and relatable to me he’s the kinda you know is an adventure in his heart and soul) anyway back to Halt-

He has the air of a person who’s been around a while and has aged with the world but doesn’t know everything to the point of cliche. He’s also really funny. the book in general was funny which i was not expecting to such an extent.

JENNY. she’s so sweet and i love her. she’s main character to me. she’s fat and round and loud and lovable and not only is she okay with that. she takes pride it in. it’s a STRENGTH TO HER. i remember the scene where she’s making her case to apprentice under the castle cook and she says “im the right shape for it” and everybody agrees wholeheartedly with her in an admiring tone and i just brimmed with joy as a plus sized person.

ngl Horace’s arc shortish and simple as it was is quite dear to me i didn’t expect to like him so much but spending time in his head felt so right to me. and i just love the whole “mortal enemies now closest and loyalest of friends with a deep mutual respect” trope. i just. i love it. its giving arthur and merlin/arthur and lancelot in a way i just find delicious. i love horace growing in this space where’s he’s the biggest fish in the pond cause he’s big and strong but being taken out of that habit and being, transplanted, almost into battle school and suddenly realising just how “small” he is and that he’s not that much. of anything.

also gil is fun. he’s giving rodrick in the older brother ish figure that’s cool and everybody kinda simps for. also kinda jealous he gets a sword on top of his already pretty sweet ranger gear. also i love the ranger gear its so cool and get so practical and well designed. can’t wait to see more of him. and the ponies. i love the ponies so much. them and bill from lotr should form a club of best beasts of labour in fantasy lit. ever.

I LOOKED UP A CHARACTERs NAME CAUSE I FORGOT THEM AND GOT LIKE THREE SPOILERS IM FONNA KMSSSSS

Anyway. George you funky lil nerd i can’t wait to see more of you.

I’d also love to touch on the world building. idk if it’s cause i’ve been listening to a podcast about it recently and religiously (world building for masochists highly rec) but it’s so rich just in this first book. the detail about the major wars being sprinkled in just enough, the though and logic that goes into the ranger weaponry and training, the simple yet very logical workings of battle school, how are characters are easily spilt up by the narrative in a way that’s realistic to real life. also i’m loving the celtic mythology in this, intentionally or not cause the names, the focus on weapons like the bows. even the kalkara called to mind the bears of celtic mythology and lore. the fear of fire and the impenetrable armour and everything felt straight out of scotland.

also as a history nerd and a historical lit/fantasy nerd the boar scene delighted me sm because i feel it does shades and shadows more justice to the ferocity and danger that went to boar hunting. like those beasts are HUGE. pigs in general are ginormous. so many people now a days are so urban they no longer see meat before it’s been slaughtered and sanitised so they have this slight dissociation with their food. it’s not really meat but a pink blob. and that affects how we interact with hunting and omivorism in general. but this felt so REAL AND CONNECTED GOSH I LOVE IT.

also the towns people feel. real. not overly important as to break you from the story but their not idiots. will knows them well enough and shares in with them and their beliefs and so do his friends so they don’t feel distinctly npc-like to the point where it puts you off cause will and co feel like they’re being written above the rest.

anyway those are some of my rambling first impressions sorry for the spelling mistakes it’s like 1 am here.

[mymegumi]

HAII im late but here’s my entry for the matchups thing 🥹🥹

name: logan ⭐️

preferred anime: jjk !!

preferred gender: you can roll the dice for me 🤓

fave thing abt the holidays: definitely the weather, if we’re talking abt christmas in the northern hemisphere i love when it gets cold bc im so used to living in tropical weathers n i love wearing sweaters when i go out, also im lowkey domestic as fuck so spending it w the ppl i love in my family is also nice 🥹

personality wise i come off pretty unserious 80% of the time but it’s all in jest, i truthfully struggle with expressing my raw emotions/thoughts out loud sometimes so im more of an action person (my love language is quality time which explains it pretty well, i basically am very much a “i dont know how to tell you i like being with you in a way that fully encompasses it so let me make up for that by dedicating all of my time to you”). also my aesthetics/interests and overall likes tend to lean more towards anything alt/niche and ‘nonconforming’ as i have this innate desire to be as unique as possible (yes i was an edgy not like other girls teenager and yes i regret it) but i draw inspiration from the world around me and i could never see myself without the people i hold dear to my heart :’) im also a huge nerd lol im a stem major specifically astrophysics and i like to think im pretty smart but just suck at explaining/teaching things to others so yeah. this is probably more than u even needed from me but i hope this works !! 😭

hi logan!!!! its soooo good to get to know u more and i hope u know that i am so excited to get to know ever MORE! but for this wintery match up today, i match you with:

GOJO SATORU !

listen, i think gojo lowkey loves that ur like shy w ur affection and is always teasing you abt it!! he tries to get u to say u love him n he’s always always trying to make u blush or get flustered!!! he thinks it’s such a treat when you finally, finally tell him you love him and will absolutely smother you in affection when you do! he says, yeah i’ll love you enough for the both of us, baby, don’t even worry. he also loves! loves that you’re smart and that he can talk to you about his jujutsu and even can explain the limits of it and the mechinations in a way that he can’t with ppl that don’t understand physics/calculus. he thinks it’s so nice to be able to have someone even remotely on the same level as him in terms of like,, his jujutsu!! and i think that he’d also appreciate how you were so much smarter than him in certain aspects. he also loves ur perspective on life and i can see y’all having vvv nice convos abt the world and how both of you see it!!! it’s just such a wholesome lil couple and ik that he’s ur fave but i truly think y’all would get along rlly well and have good convos. and he would be so teasing and pretend to be hurt when u say smth lowkey mean and make u give him kisses and apology!!!

RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ none ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ tbh i lit cant think of anyone else that would be a ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ better match for you loge!!!

gojo laughs with his chest as you brush at your hair, eyes concentrated and brows furrowed as you try to get the melting snow out of your hair. his chest is light, full of joy and happiness at the ease of which he feels with you. “baby, why are you so grumpy? it’s just a little snow in your hair.”

“i know it’ll melt, but my hair was so cute tonight!” you grumble, hands clutching onto gojo’s as he attempts to tuck a stray piece behind your ear. “ugh, whatever. let’s just keep walking.”

“okay, princess.” he knows not to argue with you, because he’s smart and he loves you. “want to get a coffee at that cafe?”

“yes please.” you pout, tucking yourself as close to gojo as you can for warmth. putting an arm over your shoulder, he rests his head on your not-so-soggy hair. “i can pay.”

“don’t insult me like that.” he huffs, tugging on a piece of your hair gently. he loves to spoil you, and you just hate letting him have his way. too bad you were stuck with him now, though.

back to main masterlist

[yo9urt]

disclaimer im still a beginner with japanese etc etc but i know enough (at least enough basic words) to be able to pick out words and short phrases in sentences and (when possible) compare them to english translations and what i find so fascinating so far is that like...my general impression is that its not uncommon for japanese sentences to be very short in a way that feels like it has empty space for the translation to fill?

the main (...only, for now) places i interact with jp->en translations are looking up translations to songs i like + reading the english subs while playing y0 and like ok i just got done playing y0 for a couple hours and at one point one of the characters said "anta wa?" which i recognized as literally being "you (TOPIC) (RISING INTONATION INDICATING A QUESTION)" and the subs said "what are you doing here?" and it kind of caught me off guard...ofc its a good and sensible translation (honestly the translation in this game seems high quality which makes sense lol its literally sega anyway back on topic) but its soooo interesting to me how in japanese a sentence that was literally a pronoun a topic marker and an intonation turned into FIVE words in english...so we can infer that the meaning present in the english sentence was also present in the japanese sentence but it was packed into such a smaller space...

i see the same thing in song translations like i'll compare a JP lyric to its translation side by side and see that something that was completely invisible in JP has now suddenly appeared in english and its so fascinating..!!! like 心の音　(lit. "sound of heart/heart's sound") became "the sound of your heart" and i was like !!!!!!! what!!!!!!!! idk anyway i know i never write paragraphs on here but i just like to be a nerd about this kind of thing

[isaacathom]

im gonna elaborate bc i can only say the same thing on xitter so many times so :)

the core of the HS au is the study group - Kirsty, Delia, Filip, Noelle, and Zachary. these 5 come to be friends through a rambling chain. Noelle and Kirsty have been best friends since primary school, though only started officially dating recently. Through Noelle being a very academic-minded student, she befriends Zachary, a younger student in an advanced program that has seen them doing higher year level classes for a bit. Through Zachary, they're introduced to Delia, who is not in an advanced pathway but is doing a variety of fairly cerebral classes, like eng lit and physics, and so sharing a few of them with both Zachary and Noelle depending on context.

Filip comes in through Kirsty - the above chart is inaccurate, as both of them are on the school basketball team/s, and have been for a few years.

the study group is hosted at Kirsty's uncle's house, which is located pretty close to school. It started late the previous year and has continued into the final year for Noelle/Kirsty/Filip, with the latter only really being there when he's doing nothing else.

basic bit:

Noelle is a trans lesbian who recently came out to her family and got kicked out over it, now staying either with her girlfriend or with her aunt, who lives a decent train ride away. Her twin brother Quentin is very chiil, but her two younger siblings (Olivier and Marie-Louise) are nightmares in their own way. Noelle likes History and Physics, with a particular love in her heart for space and the stars.

Kirsty is a lesbian, staying alternatingly with her lovely family or with her uncle, largely because her family lives a decent clip away and her uncle is happy to host her and her friends. She's a social butterfly who makes friends easily, and loves to help. Study group was her idea, even though she's not remotely the most studious in the group. She's going business and econ.

Delia is a cishet woman who is, for lack of term, minmaxing her grades. She's deliberately taking the harder classes to bolster her percentages, and is putting in the work to make that successful, with varying results per class. She is also a deep lover of music and the arts, and so to make up for not taking near-any humanities classes (bad for percentages), she takes music lessons outside of school (piano and violin) and has performed in every school musical since she got here. English lit is the class she does best at.

Zachary is an enby who is the definition of a nerd. in an advanced pathway as well as balancing various extracurriculars, zachary adores learning more than most things, and loves to share their knowledge with their friends whenever possible. They work at their parent's secondhand bookshop, and like to volunteer for library events. They specialise in Eng Lit in particular.

Filip is a hot mess bi man who barely wants to be at school at all. He's at least a year older than his cohort due to having been kept down a year, and is very much trying to get the damn thing over with. He's on his P plates and drives an old Nissan Navara he got fifth hand off a guy. Clearly does not and has not lived at his parent's house in over a year, bouncing around wherever he can. Is doing an apprenticeship as a building carpenter, and only really enjoys sports classes.

The plot, such that it is, revolves around the year that N/K/F are in their final year. Over the summer Noelle came out to her family and got kicked out, and Filip came close to simply not returning to school at all, only being convinced to do so by members of the school basketball team (which includes Kirsty).

Early in the year, when the school holds auditions for that years musical, they get a disappointing turnout. To save the show, which Delia so adores doing, she works to convince the study group to all audition. Kirsty and Zachary do so eagerly, though its noted that Zachary is quite a wooden performer whose main strength is script memory. Noelle takes quite a lot of convincing, eventually agreeing on the proviso she gets a minor role with few lines. She tries her best, and Kirsty insists she has great stage presence once she forgets she's on it. Filip refuses doggedly, despite Kirsty and Delia insisting he greatly suits a particular role and would make a competent singer and dancer.

It takes the intervention of Ms Calliope Desmond, the musical's choreographer (and possibly director) to convince him that, okay, if you don't want to be on stage, you could help with suit building or as a stage hand? He agrees to that. He still ends up attending a lot of the rehearsals to support his friends, when he's able.

a few more people join the musical in some capacity off the study group - Zachary invites their younger sibling Paz to audition, and Paz's twin Shani will be involved in the orchestra as a member of the school band. Noelle's twin brother Quentin also auditions, "for fun", he says.

During the school year, Delia gets into an "incident", which she broadlt refuses to detail but evidently involves her, her dad, and her dad's car. After missing a week of school, she ends up in a very similar situation to Filip - crashing on whoever's couch is available. At some point, the two end up doing this together, leading to a widespread rumour that the two are dating. this is a change of pace from the two's usual dating rumours, which involving the leading man in the play and the center of the girl's basketball team, respectively. Filip, incidentally, is utterly unaware of any of these rumours and is decidedly NOT dating Delia.

there's also a sense that, over the course of the year, that things are not great in Zachary's house, but because of their age its a lot harder for them to simply 'fuck off' like 3/5s of the study group have done.

it probably sort of comes to this idea, for the group, that the way to make the year 'good' is for the musical to go incredibly well. its not even like they need to save a community theatre or whatever, there are no material stakes, its about what the kids need, cathartically. Filip even probably says at some point that he's mostly sticking around to see the musical through.

i think it does go well for them, ultimately. the sorts of issues happen that you expect with amateur theatre, people forget their lines and mess up their placements, miss their cues, whatever. delia possibly nearly misses the first night entirely until filip takes that busted navara and goes out of his way to pick her up or something. noelles sister marie-louise tries to sabotage the play is some orchestrated and nonsensical way that is ultimately self-destructive/gets others hurt, whichever is more interesting at the time. but things turn out alright. the musical goes well. by final night noelle has relaxed enough to be a better performer. zachary has had some specific 'liveners' introduced to their performance to make it less stiff. filip spends most of the show backstage helping people costume change and preparing set pieces for getting sent on stage. it goes well. its nice.

:)

my friend pondered a highschool au for their ttrpg ocs, and then i went 'hmm. interesting. what if my ocs?' and then, well,

[jeonfiles]

PREVIEW: sweetest apparition │ jjk

DISCLAIMER: this is just a preview and if you'd like to read more pls lmk by reposting or liking!!

pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader

genre: fluff, angst, slow burn but not really

synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse,

a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol

masterlist | fic rec blog

14 days

A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.

Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.

His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.

No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with 10 dollars paper-clipped inside.

Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.

Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.

13 days

The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.

You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.

The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.

A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.

His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.

"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.

"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.

"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.

Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.

He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.

Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.

He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.

"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.

"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.

"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.

You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."

When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.

"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.

His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.

The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.

He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.

A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.

You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.

You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.

fin.

a/n: omg i am so sorry I feel like this is so dumb and cliche but its been half finished in my drafts since 2021 and I just need this published

[mypersonmyg]

cherry blossom | jjk

pairing: jeongguk x reader

genre: fluff

rating: pg15

wc: 2k (yes it is a drabble shut up)

warnings: swearing

summary: spring is blooming and so are you OR he loves the beanie you knitted for his round ass head

a/n: hello, hi, hey...is this good? idk, but i wrote it because im trying to do that again; this is based on the tebori tapioca couple because i really like them a lot...ALSO i said i would write about beanie boy and here he is :D

tebori tapioca

masterlist

Petals dipped in white are decorated in the jagged pink crawling from the root of thin strengthened stems fluttering like wisps from trees freshly bloomed to kiss at your cheeks, tilted upward toward a sky painted in streaks of voluminous clouds. You lift one hand to trace the expanse of day, finger a brush concentrated on the perfect mural, eyes zeroed to see the work of the blue plained aerial. You grasp a stray petal mid-air, charting the exposure of edges fragile and torn from the efflorescent cherry blossom, its trunk the perfect home for the boy whose head appears anywhere but the moment. 

You bring the petal to trace his cheeks seeking the protrusion of his nose, effectively startling the stupor that held him captive. His eyes dance the length of your arm up to your collar, landing on your own gaze in wonder, always amazed by  feelings that engulf him like licking flames. He tilts his head until the warmth of his cheek rests in the palm of your hand, cradling perfection and its questioning peep. 

“Sorry,” You murmur, thumb soothing circles into pliable skin, eyes doubled in apology despite the fondness stretching the muscles of his face, tugging at the edges of his lids. 

“Don’t be,” He hushes plucking the petal, blowing it into the subtle breeze that kicks at the skin of your ankles, traveling the length of your leg, ignorant to the tingle that already resides from the steady grip of a tattooed hand tracing the skin exposed from the ride up of your hoodie. “We came here to be together and I’m zoning out.”

You crook your arm into the grass, still damp from the press of morning dew, petals sticking to your palm as you push forward, Jeongguk cautiously tightening at your waist. The hand that still rests against his cheek sneakily climbs to tendrils peeking from beneath the beanie dressing his head, black knitted and all consuming, wrapping the strands of curls between nimble fingers and urging him to press his lips to your own. 

“I don’t mind, I’d rather sit with you in complete silence than listen to Jimin complain about whatever it is he was complaining about today.” You speak after the first heady press, foreheads gathered in collective rest, lashes just missing with each flutter. You can barely recall the words tumbling forward, but you can count on the attentive nature of your chosen lover to keep you on track, his eyes never missing the beat of your quivering lips. 

“Hmm, but i wanna give you all of my attention.” He pulls you so you’re falling, forcing you onto his lap of denim, your arms finding rest around his broad shoulders. He nestles his head into the crook of your neck, bringing light to the fabric engulfing his head of curls. 

It’s a recent niche, the adornment of the extra layer, a gift from you meant to reside on the side of winter wardrobe. It dresses him well, mirror selfies and dates spent walking the string lit streets of your cozy strip not without the attention of head-on-a-swivel passersby. You don’t mind the look or the attention that you believe present without the added statement, but you often miss the ease of a hand through thick curls and the added volume on humid occasions. 

“Now who’s zoning?” Jeongguk teases, nudging the underside of your chin, fingers retreating to avoid your gentle nip. 

“I was just thinking about you,” Your words are spoken with lips folding inward to rest between the set of your teeth, hands tugging at the top of his hat, almost pulling it free before he swats at your offending limb tugging it back into place. 

“Oh yeah?” You arch into him when a sudden gust of wind wraps around your bodies, biting at your arms left exposed by your insistence of warmth from the saturation of rays that swallow you whole, only missing direct contact by Jeongguk’s insistence that you seek refuge in the crowding branches of the beautiful earthy growth of the ascending blossom. 

“Yeah, you and your beanie. Why won’t you let me see your cute ass head, you nerd?” 

“Excuse me? I like the beanie, it was a gift you know.” 

He’s proud of his counter, head resting against the trunk of the tree before he’s suddenly guiding you from his lap to join in the jump to his feet. You’re like jello, too long spent lounging in the thick of your bubbled comfort, nearly knocking into him out of the habit of proximity and lack of control over your physical being. 

“Not only was it a gift,” He continues, clasping your hands, swinging it between you as you once more find the path riddled with abandoned flowers and the remnants of blades from grass freshly mowed, the smell still lingering with each foot forward. He brings your connected palms to press to his lips, holding them in place for a momentary hum before your nerves are tingling under the sensation and you're trying your hardest to pull away amidst  squealish giggling. “It was handmade.” 

You stutter, feet catching at the tip, threatening to eat concrete were it not for the quick reflexes and unbridled strength of Jeongguk’s arms. He drags you from the center of the path, the resounding tinkering of a child’s bike bell screaming to make way for the train of tasseled training wheels that are suddenly on your trail. It gives you time to recompose, Jeongguk far too busy waving in kind at each passing darling regarding him with various poked tongues and toothy grins. 

“Babe, you good?” He finally returns his attention, the rough pad of his thumb coming to swipe at the hairs that fall from the folded lip of the beanie, tickling at the plains of his forehead that hold just enough sheen from the day's heat to allow the dense fibers to stick to his skin. You fight the temptation to replace his hand with your own, always happy to feel him beneath you, feening for the closeness of closed doors and your head tucked beneath his chin, fingers tracing the ever defining muscles that tease through his t-shirt. 

“I’m fine...I just didn’t realize you noticed.” You shield yourself in the thick of his hoodie, tugging the sleeve to hide your eyes from his prying gaze and infectious grin. You question your own sanity when the remembrance of his attentive nature and the dreamy sigh he’d emitted upon the first snug of the thick fabric to his skull, only compliments spewing thereafter. 

“That I noticed...?” You’re dim witted to the point of ignorance, though his bait works as your face slowly unsticks from the dark material eating his chest, replacing your face with the wrap of your knuckles and the avoidance of eye contact in favor of tracking a peculiar worm inching toward fresh dirt. 

“Koo…” You whine, the nickname and high pitched yearning a new habit Jeongguk has taken in kind. His adoration for you only grows more with each day, your habits taking hold of him like the magnet that you are, an attraction unyielding and all consuming. Some would say that it’s a sickness, but the rapid pump of his love organ and the coos that ooz from him with the precision of a clock at your every utterance feels wholesome.

You’re home, a refuge after long days of piping tea and pounds of tapioca, waist deep in the give and take of the service industry. The only being that makes him feel like giving his all is no effort wasted, always looking for more ways to please even with your assurance that just  halfway makes your heart soar into a galaxy of his own making. 

So he grips you tight and reels you in, inhaling the scent of the light shampoo that laces your scalp and pretends that your whines are only an amusement, a reason for the further push of his pestering. His hands trace the peak of your shoulder blades, easing them of the tension from your bout of shyness. 

“Love, why wouldn’t I notice? Why do you think I love to wear it so much?” 

“Because you’re perfect,” You melt, shuffling on the balls of your feet, hands shoved into his pockets to hold steady in a world constantly rotating around you, dressed in whites and pinks, the songs of birds humming in the trees that arch above you. “But seriously, how did you know? I didn’t say anything because I don’t think it’s very good and I almost didn’t even give it to you because—”

“It’s perfect.” He cuts your words with his own followed by a kiss, much longer than the one previous, your face heating under the awareness that you’re no longer shielded by bud kissed branches in your own corner of the world. The same corner that started it all just months prior. 

Your palms rest against his chest, a gentle pat urging him to part from you despite your own inward cries of the opposite. He obliges, a smile of coyness splayed along his cheeks, pushing at the scar that kisses the apples of his skin. 

“What?” 

“I did notice an attempt at the stitching of initials under the lip...still need some practice I see—”

“Love, that’s so mean!” Your pats previously gentle now offer as much force as  you can muster, easily sending him staggering on his feet, too consumed by his own childish laughter at your rather rugged stitchwork, a poor attempt at further customization. “Ugh, I didn’t think you would notice.” 

He pulls the beanie from his head, hair falling in a mess of dark curl that traces the frame of his cheeks, somehow rounder today than the chiseled jaw that you often find ingrained in your memory. You ache to take him between your palms, a smattering of kisses stored for later use when you aren’t teetering the precipice of embarrassment. A feeling of routine self indulgence that is altogether useless under the watchful eyes of the dream before you.

He delicately dips his finger into the folded hem of the hat, lengthening the elastic trim that suctions around him to keep it secure around his head. He traces the thread that just barely makes out the letters initialling his name, imagining the formation of your lips as you repeat the two syllables with the puncture and withdraw of every stitch. 

It’s clear as the blue dyed sky, the vivid poke of your lips when you realize the curve of the ‘J’ is more of a divot than a definition but push on to the ‘K’. You only add the extra inches when your mind begins to overthink when in truth he’ll love anything from your hands, from your mind and the blood pumping through your veins. 

It wasn’t the accidental revelation of the stitching when he pulled it from the first wash that clued him in. The fabric unfurled from its position of origin, the letters staring back, accented with the perfect attempt at a heart stitched in white. 

No, he finds solace in the patch of thread missing from the edge of the shape meant to mimic the geometry of the organ itself.

It speaks true to the way he feels when he’s not with you, like his heart couldn’t possibly be whole when he’s not taking in the breathlessness of your laugh or the way you pout his name without warning. 

It was the tremor in your hands as you delivered the gift wrapped in faux gold, edges of the paper curled from the lack of a package and a mind too jumbled to think of a bag. Your delivery paired with the fumble of words hushed in rushed breath was clue enough of your attempt at discretion.

It’s in these moments, hat in hand and your eyes scrutinizing the thing when you’d told him how handsome it made him look just weeks prior. He gently pinches the scrunch of your nose, forcing your eyes to his own, hat pulled back over his head. 

He doesn’t miss the quirk of your lips, the hat no longer an object of disdain when it's a part of him. The day you met was the day that you made your place within him and it's in moments like these that he feels whole. 

“I can’t believe you thought for a second that I wouldn’t.”

[sleepsacked]

PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, i am swinging and kicking my feet in the air rn-

but ur right !!!!!!! (of course as u are the one writing this LOL) now that im thinking abt it hj's intrusive thoughts are a bit telling of his conscience...

mimgi ohhh my sweet sweet MIIMMMMGII, by far id say he's my fav character to see unravel w his character development fs omggg-

i think even wondering now abt the paradoxical irony of mc wanting approval but having this incessive need to go against authority at every given opportunity... it jus makes me question if mc will finally have peace cuz GODDAM... thats why i think my heart wont be able to survive knowing smth between her and san </3 could potentially go wrong

BUT ALSO????? IM SO PEEVED AT SEONGHWA ????????????? that whole argument between them in the prev chapter and then him still having the audacity to go "i love you for whatever thats worth" ?1????-??-??-??-??-?-??-?-??-?-??-??-?-?-?------ OHHHHH KAYYYYY ;-;

also the yeosang point !!!! yes thats what i was meaning !!!!! him being the only one to beat hj but not being the lit. is so... interesting bc like Logically u would think right.. They have similar ways of understanding situations and taking initiuative to get the job done and yet..... hm... but also yunho being a pawn... oh god... YUNHO RUNNNNN THAT MAN DONT LOVE U THE WAY U NEED OR WANT HIM TOOO RUNNNN RUN RU NNNNNNNNN <////33

>>potential spoiler for those still reading/catching up<<

one of my biggest Teetering?/???? ideas / questions / feelings (s/n english isnt my only language so idk how to explain what im trying to say in english but hopefully its conveyed well) ???? is... i remember wy and mc having all those convos abt them being sirens and what all that entailed and them being childhood friends and EVERYTHING like that... and them coming from the same planet and them both being different from seonghwa bc seonghwa didnt come from the same planet... and then the whole lore of needing 5 of them... but seonghwa doesnt even possess the same scale of abilities as wy or mc.. so im wondering if its like needing 5 "pure-blood"(??) sirens so how i wonder- if at all- how much hj's view would change of mc and/or wy knowing that they are quite different from seonghwa and possibly more... of a necessity for whatever the hell it is he's /really/ trynna do.. i include wy in this bc u mentioned above that- though u didnt go much into detail, if u were to look at who was who in hj's chess game then mc and wy are pawns.. hmm

though.... now that im thinking abt it i think maybe minho was maybe referring to mingi omg.... considering that he was alr shocked by the intelligence of him in this recent update.. but then again... idk i still have a feeling he's maybe referring to san im putting my bets on san 🤓

AHHHH I RAMBLED AGAINNNN- but literally of course ive loved the series sm thus far <333 !!!!!!! i do have one personal question and u dont have to respond if u dont want to but im curious if u ever studied philosophy/psychology- i ask this because (apart from studying a bit in my undergrad studies) lately ive been doing a lot of own personal reading as well as listening to like those thinkpieces of breakdowns of famous papers and theories from philosophers and pyschologists in history (plato, jung, albert camus, kohlberg, etc. etc.) on like morality and ethics and existence and stuff- and i see a lot of connections?? lemme elabotate- i see connections more so in the way that each character is written it is like a dive into psyche, and yk the famous scale umm the judgement scale ??? weighing of souls ig is the more religious term but i feel like u've portrayed the characters well enough that like for me as a reader- i can constantly see their ways of understanding morality and ethics and existing with each other constantly teetering on that scale!! thats why i was curious if u ever studied (either self curiosity or academically) any topics like that bc i myself am a huge nerd for those topics (which might be why i also love this story sm!!!) and if u didnt, then woah bc i really mean it when i say ur writing is clear that u can fr understand their psyches even if only 2% is revealed its like... leaves u very speechless :,)

thank u again !!!!! have a great day :3 !!!!!!! & thank u for responding back to my long msg <3333333

hi sooo....

O______O wow...

U DID IT AGAINNNNNNN, im so.. im so shocked reading the new moc chapter and must i say i love ur interim chapters i think theyre so !!!!!!!!!! chefs kiss truly

okokok so im speechless.. but im thinking abt it now and ... (maybe this is also bc i recently jus binged like all of moc in like 3 days so its still fresh on my brain but) the very first chapters when mc was alr on the ship and and there was that one bit with san and they spent the night together and were talking and it was when she still was carrying around the pardon papers and they had like a heart to heart to be there for each other and the cheek kiss !!!!!! if im remembering right.. i remember sans reaction being written kinda awkward initially (ill have to eventually go back and find it) so it- it makes me wonder how fast hongjoong tried to come up w a plan to manipulate mc... also... my heartbroke even reading the prev chapter when mc was crying and telling san "why did u have to make me doubt ur feelings?" and then reading this chapter- i have hope for them i really do but i fear.. whats gonna happen once she finds the truth out bc... ik she will </3 and i fear its gonna be hongjoong.. But also..??? WAIT NO BC IM THINKING 80 MILLION THINGS RN.

THE DIALOGUE W MINGI........ MINGI AND MINHO..... minho being shocked that his intelligence is more than he lets on.... ITS MAKING ME WONDER LIKE... theyve all kinda treated mingi like Oh he's helpless or struggling rather, we need to care for him diligently-which is true, bro got demons fr but... then im wondering how much mingi really knows bc...?? i remember mingi saying smth to mc too about like "ask urself why it is that ur even trying to disobey in the first place?" or like idk they had that deep ass talk and.... idk.. im thinking abt it now though... what does mingi know.......

im also wondering... 1) if joong has a conscious LOL 2) no i definitely think he does after this but,,,,,,,,, we still dunno WHY he's become this way- why his demons are like this/why theyre presented this way bc in a way (LOL ME TRYNNA PSYCHOANALYZE HIM)... it seems like he keeps everyone at an arms length... except seonghwa i feel like.. at least for now.. but i saw that because he keeps to himself a lot even amongst the ship- so it seems... but he definitely changes the way he wants to come across people... 3) idk if i wanna hug him and tell him its gonna be alright or if i wanna box him LMFAOOO he is so damn crazy... and then jus the way minho described the way they played chess... everyone else doing his dealing... actually now that im thinking about it.. he's been called out quite easily before... so maybe he isnt as hard to read as he thought... in fact ik mc has been the one to call him out hella on his shit so.. i wonder if thats why he's so adamant on keeping her in shape.... oh joong ... babes what did u go thru 🤣🤣🤣🙁🙁🙁 u lil control freak u~~

anywho.. im also confused.... bc i can see that mc does wanna be approved and accepted (?) by joong yet also cant stand the authority he gives so its quite the paradox.........

rn im jus ranting sm... its like everythings clicking..

but also.. im curious.. hongjoong has only lost chess to yeosang among all the members... yet.. seonghwa is the lit. which ofc im gonna assume its also him being a siren that like he said "the closer he is to me the better".. but then if yeosang thought most like joong... why is yeosang just a pawn in joongs eyes ...? yeosang losing the wooyoung </3 lordddd i dont even wanna start... then minho saying he's excited to see how another crew member plays.. joong immediately thinking seonghwa... but interestingly enough im guessing its either san or yunho.. but my best bet is san given he's like another right hand man kinda guy to joong...

ill conclude on that note since its 3am rn... but wow U DID IT AGAINNNNN i love ur writing so much seriously <33333 thank u thank u thank u and im excited for more x

hi hehe :3 i'm so thrilled that you enjoy the interims that's such a relief and so nice to hear ;-;;

you're in the perfect position bc you remember what happened early on and can pick up on the crumbs i was dropping to make it alllll come full circle! what goes around comes around! not only are hongjoong's plans important to consider (ie when he implemented them, when he put them into action) but also both how san carried out his initial duty and when san started to slip away from that duty into something genuine! both those things will be explored and opened up in san's upcoming interim, that will help pull all the pieces together i hope so!! that scene with mc crying to san,,, i cried writing it and i know it made a lot of people doubt san and his feelings but!! please have hope!! there are SOOO many possibilities!! will hongjoong really leave san to lie in the grave he dug for himself or will he dig it deeper or try to help him out…? all remains to be seen :3

mingi is truly truly such a fun and fascinating character to both write and unveil to you guys ;-; he's exceptionally intelligent beyond the scope of understanding emotions period but he gets treated like he's dumber because he doesn't understand emotions bc in the others' eyes emotions are just simple and easy to understand. mingi def possesses a different kind of intelligence but that kind of intelligence is on the same level of yeosang iw ould say! so it's easiest to think of it as mingi has a different kind of smartness compared to someone like say,,,,jongho or san who both have very good and high emotional intelligence!

1) DOES the man have a conscience? this interim is very telling in that regard and his thought process and the what some would call "intrusive thoughts" really showcase who he is as a person!

2) there are so many layers to him and you really get it bc he does keep everyone at arms length, even seonghwa to some degree bc the whole reason him and seonghwa aren't together is bc hongjoong shut him down the moment seonghwa started expressing his feelings towards hongjoong, he likes to keep to himself and doesn't like to leave his space for many reasons but we now know that one of those reasons is the past feelings of failure and loss coming back to haunt him, and bingo right on the money, he changes the way he wants to come across to people. prime example in yunho at the end of the interim, i think that scene is the absolute best showcase of hongjoong's character and who he is and how he operates.

3) he is DAMN CRAZY!!! i feel like i haven't so much shown that to the degrees that his character really is batshit insane so we're tiptoeing into those waters more now. you do have to think though, with the notion that he changes the way he wants to come across to people, when he's being "called out", is it accurate? or is it what hongjoong is presenting so they think they know what kind of person he is? when mc calls him out on his shit, it's often a two way punch where it as much about her as it is about him so much to think about! he's far far beyond a control freak tehe :3

the fun paradox in mc is that dynamic of wanting to be approved and accepted by him but also having this point blank issue with authority and also how hongjoong excises his authority. and that's been a big point of confusion too i think so im trying to delve more into it and expose more of it so that it makes more sense but there is meant to be a contradiction in her actions for sure

yeosang has been the only one to beat hj at chess, and he is not the lieutenant. we know that hongjoong personally selected seonghwa before yeosang joined the crew and that the position has never swayed, and we also know that yeosang is the master strategist on the crew, which is something a lieutenant would usually take care of so it lends to some questions about how hongjoong views authority in his crew? as far as the chess game goes, his queen was indeed seonghwa, the main bishop he used to both attack and sabotage his own pieces was san, he himself was king, then though not as heavily touched on, the other pieces i had in mind were: mingi and jongho were both knights, yeosang was the other bishop, then mc, wooyoung, and yunho were pawns. who minho was really referring to ;) is quite the twist but a fun one :3

bless you for sending me such a long ask at such a late hour you're so sweet ;-; it made my day i was so happy and excited seeing it thank you for letting me ramble right back at you :3 <3