#i think sometimes people literally have an issue with object permanence or something because how come it's never

[eddiegettingshot]

with a show that goes out of its way to emphasize having a partner to sit with you in your mess and be there for you no matter what you’re struggling with it BOGGLES my mind that people think eddie has to be Cured tm to be deserving of a happy relationship let alone one with buck. thats so fucking weird

it kills me because THIS IS LITERALLY THE THESIS OF ROMANCE ON THIS SHOW!!! this is WHY all the beloved couples have made it together!!! what the fuck does anyone think is happening with bathena right now? she's in his mess with him! what the fuck is anyone talking about at this point, genuinely!! and what makes it even more ridiculous is that BUCK AND EDDIE LITERALLY ALREADY DO THIS FOR EACH OTHER, the way EVERY OTHER COUPLE DOES. it is actually a significant part of what establishes their partnership as being on the same level as bathena / henren / madney!! buck wouldn't think that eddie needs to go and Fix Himself or Heal because HE ALREADY UNDERSTANDS why eddie does what he does, he UNDERSTANDS why eddie hurt ana and why eddie hurt marisol and why eddie cheated and he UNDERSTANDS eddie's pain and trauma because he's been there! this whole time! this "eddie has stuff to figure out" idea is just some shit people made up because they cannot stand the idea that buck and eddie are willing to do the work together and they also can't stand the idea that they might hurt each other - specifically, that eddie might hurt buck, even though we ALSO just saw how buck ACTUALLY hurt eddie in 7x04! that doesn't matter though! maybe the ONLY thing that eddie actually needs to "figure out" for buck is not being straight. beyond that? they have it guys! they'll make it through!

[vampiresuns]

I don’t know what’s possessing me to write this, maybe it’s bc I’m a ND with a planner, but I have come to the conclusion the main reason why Neurotypical people are so incredibly annoying and unhelpful about the planner and organisation advice is because they’re incapable of seeing organisation as a tool.

They see it as a solution when it very much has always been a tool. Which is why ND people and mental healthcare professionals who educate online change the How you organise vs. the traditional ways we’ve been told you have to organise, which cater to NT people only.

Because they understand it is a tool. Not a solution.

And it is always a tool. Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodivergent, regardless of any comorbidities you may have, regardless of gender and age, it stays a tool because its status as a tool is not dependent on who uses it, but on what is it for.

Let me explain, I’m a ND with a planner and I pretty much rely entirely on it, but I have also 1. begun steady treatment 2. did the work to identify how to work with my plethora of issues instead of against them. I know exactly what planner will work for me (big with space to visualise multiple things, plenty space for writing, allows a degree of customisation), which ones will not (I need a monthly and a weekly view, without these I’m doomed, and it cannot be pocket sized. I need space)

I also know exactly what will and won’t work with me for it. I don’t use it to keep a perfect life-work balance, or to keep track of my habits or my spending or literally anything else. I use it solely for reminders and to-do lists. Thinks I can scratch off. I do not care how many days of the week I exercised, how my mood was, or how many hours of the day there are. I have ADHD, and I have issues retrieving information, what I need from a personal organisation system is something that allows me to quickly access information, in order to avoid overwhelming myself with tasks, or that I can write things down in the moment in one single place.

Sometimes I don’t check what I write, or the notes I take. Sometimes I forget to write things down. Doesn’t matter. I use this for work, academic purposes and day to day house keeping. I will get overwhelmed if I don’t write down a single thing that I need to do and then go do it. I need to see it. I need to hold myself accountable some way.

Usually, I mentally have a record of most of what I need to do, or bc I have ADHD I will usually discover them throughout the day. But again, because I have fucking ADHD and GAD I will absolutely get overwhelmed. My medically backed up perfectionism that fuels half of my anxiety every single day will ally with my executive dysfunction issues, and they will best me.

Or I will forget. And they will still best me because I’ll either get decision or executive paralysis, become extremely guilty about not doing anything, and work myself into a panic, so on and so forth.

So I pick. Usually by vibes or by what I call “ADHD whimsy”. Instinctively, I usually know what I want to do first and what I don’t want to do first, sometimes if only because doing steps in one way feels more off than if I do it in another.

 I write it down. I go do that. I tick it off. I pick another thing. Or I write some lose objectives for the week or the day. I do not deadline me. But they’re there. Easy to retrieve. Easy to access.

Between capitalism, grind culture, ableism and the perpetual catering to NT people, people still think keeping organised will solve their problems. It will not because it’s not a solution. It is not related to the cause of your problems. Organisation won’t fix stress, mental loads, or give you a better life-work balance. Unless you address the cause of your stress or personal imbalance, organisation can only carry you so far.

Sure does help. ADHD does best me often but fuck me if I don’t love a good organisational system. But they won’t solve my ADHD. Honestly nothing will, the chemical imbalance is permanent, even if I’m medicated, but that is not my point. My point is after years of trying several of ill fated advice catered to NT people about organisation, I only became better at it and used it as an effective tool when I addressed the cause of my problems directly.

Disorganisation is not a cause. It is not a moral flaw. Disorganisation is a symptom, and when it comes to mental health and your general well-being what will help you is finding the cause of that symptom, not coping with it for the sake of coping with it

[despondent-beauty]

Yeah, this is fucked up to me. We have numerous documented cases of Israel breaking the Geneva Convention, murdering civilians on purpose, even murdering charity workers, killing babies, etc., and people still want to 'both sides' this issue.

When you compare pro-something to pro-'opposite' you are implying that you see the consequences of both views as relatively equivalent. You can't portray both views as equally normal if one has far more significant/permanent/whatever impacts than the other. Being pro-capital punishment is not on the same level of consequences as being pro-abolishment, for instance, so it's unfair to say that being on one side is 'as extreme' as being on the other.

The problem is that this newspaper article is pretending that the 'right' place to be is balanced between the two opinions. But that balance isn't where they think it is -- being pro-Israel means you support the killing of 33k civilians. There's no way to defend that: that is genocide. Being pro-Palestine means that you support those 33k civilians NOT dying. Sure, there are other, more significant views, but the principle remains the same. Comparing 'murder is okay' to 'murder is not okay' and saying that there's a measured opinion in the middle -- a mix of both -- assumed that both opinions are equally extreme.

THEY'RE NOT EQUALLY EXTREME SO A BALANCED OPINION IS NOT LITERALLY THE AVERAGE OF THE TWO OPINIONS JESUS CHRIST. It's literally mathematically like saying 'I have two equally difficult tests for two different classes on this day. The first test is worth 75% of my grade in my first class. The second test is worth 15% of my grade in my second class. Therefore, I should spend 50% of my time studying for each test.'

WRONG! The first test is way more important, so the balance is skewed WAY harder toward that. It's not just split evenly. Now about this:

'I want to be at 0.5, or perfectly balanced on an opinion scale. Option A is 'killing people is okay,' and it has a severity/permanence rating of 500. Option B is 'killing people is not okay,' and it has a severity/permanence rating of 3.'

In order to arrive at a score of 0.5, or a balance in terms of severity, you don't just go 'I'll halfway agree with option A and option B!' because that would get you 0.5 × 500 + 0.5 × 3 = 251.5, which is NOT a balanced severity rating. That's weighted HEAVILY toward option A in terms of how severe/permanent/consequential your opinion is. (Agreeing even a little bit that it's occasionally okay to kill someone is much more severe in terms of direct consequences than saying that it's never okay, basically.)

Instead, the 'balanced' opinion would be whatever opinion makes it so that 3x = 500(1 - x), or the amount you agree with each side multiplied by the weight of each side leads to the same adjusted opinion consequence score. In this case, you should agree 99.4% with 'killing is never okay' and 0.6% with 'killing is sometimes okay' if you want to profess to have a balanced opinion between the two. The 'balanced opinion area' isn't linearly halfway between opinion A and opinion B. It's dragged to one side or the other based on the consequences of fully agreeing with opinion A and opinion B. To view them as equivalent and to claim that a balanced opinion is one that falls at 0.5 × A and 0.5 × B is to ignore that believing A over B doesn't have equivalent implications to B > A. Like believing that the sun will explode in ten years does not have equivalent implications to believing that the sun will last for 5 billion years because one impacts your behavior significantly and the other does not.

And yes, how you assign weight to these opinions is entirely subjective. There's no objective way to measure 'consequence' factor or 'severity.' But the measurement still exists regardless, so to claim that in order to be balanced between genocide or no genocide you have to say 'well, a little genocide is okay' is fucking asinine because it means that you have to believe that 'no genocide' is equally valuable/impactful as 'yes genocide.'

Having a measured opinion is good, but most people think that entails being linearly (0.5A, 0.5B) in the middle between two options when IT DOES NOT. That's why we fucking hate both-siders.

What the fuck.

genuinely think i might stop reading the news entirely. this is so dire

[aurabird]

Guidance for Guilt

How does one deal with the guilt and regret they feel when they see the way people look at them? You seek out another that has been in the same situation before.

Also on Ao3

Despite the title, this doesn’t actually have angst in it.

-----------

Sausage went by horseback as he left Mythland, too afraid to even touch the corrupted elytra he once wore for longer than a few seconds let alone wear it again.

The ride through the desert was slow despite the well-worn paths from trade routes, the unrelenting heat miserable for both him and his stead and briefly he debated turning back and borrowing an elytra from someone.

Night fell as the moon took the place of the sun. It was a respite from the heat sure, but out here, night brought a chilling cold. The Mythland king would never understand why anyone would want to live in the desert, and yet one of the largest and most powerful empires was nestled at the heart the said biome.

The Vigil of Pixandria shone like a beacon in the night as if to lead those weary and lost among the dunes to shelter from the elements. Sausage grimaced briefly at the fact that the last time he was there, he’d built a fake embassy and trapped it, the aim to kill the empire’s king. He had been struggling to fight off the corruption then and even though he had the self-awareness to know what he was doing was wrong, he did it anyway.

To be fair, his mind argued, Pix HAD issued a challenge to all that wished to prank him to make sure their attempts were more than a pathetic pitfall trap... so was it really Sausage’s fault if the oracle had asked for something so explosive in the first place?

Sand began to transition granite and brick as Sausage entered the oasis of an empire. The streets weren’t empty, but the citizens of Pixandria that were around spoke in hushed whispers of intrigue at him. They didn’t know who he was, he’d worn his assassins guild attire strictly so that he could hide his face.

After all, he was still technically enemy number one in pretty much every single empire. If the Pixandrians had known who had entered their city, then their reactions probably wouldn’t have been the most welcoming.

He found an inn in the center of this residential area and paid the stable boy the money required to leave his horse there before continuing to the capitol of the empire.

As he entered the familiar area he found it mostly empty, understandably so given how late it was, and took time to look at the Vigil; the colorful candles and lanterns that decorated the are around it just as stunning as the last time he’d been here.

Pix had told him once that the Vigil was for the twelve empires alone since in Pixandrian beleif they all had to exist regardless of what terms they were all on lest the balance of the universe be upset. He shuddered at the realization that if his journey in the spirit realm had ended in failure that he could have caused something far more catastrophic than whatever Xornoth would bring to occur.

Then came sadness at the thought of how many of the recorded deaths were by his own hand? He’d been told of the arena fight, how he’d gone on a murder spree when the corruption took control over him entirely...

"I had a feeling you’d show up eventually.” Came a familiar voice, snapping him out of his thoughts. Sausage turned to face the speaker and found the Copper King himself casually leaning against the wall of a building that looked like a shop of sorts.

Sausage wasn’t surprised that he’d been expected, Pix was a unique individual in the fact that he was an oracle not only with the ability to see deaths seconds before they happened, but he would sometimes get prophetic visions every now and again. He was a wise and kind ruler, albeit with a streak of mischief at times as well. The man no doubt had questions about Sausage’s recent death by Gem’s hand and his delayed respawn, but that’s not why the Mythland king had come to see him.

After the death of the enderdragon, the Copper King had exiled himself in his guilt and regret, heading into the harshness of the desert with almost nothing but the clothes on his back. Signs of his struggle could be seen in the form of scars and burns. This, is why Sausage had come.

“I’m...probably not at the top of your list of people to see right now...but I...I need guidance, Pix. I don’t know how to cope with what I’m feeling.”

Pix gave him a gentle smile, “Come, we’ll discuss it inside.”

The interior of Pix’s abode was something Sausage had only seen once and, at the time, he’d not been in complete control of his body and actions. Now that the haze in his mind was gone, the place was stunning. Sandstone and striped birch made up walls accented with copper. The sandstone and glazed terracotta floor accented with dried honeycomb, desert plants filling pots nestled into corners and on shelves. It was a humble place as opposed to the massive castles and towers of the other empires.

He sat down at an oak table while Pix went off to grab something, returning with a glass of water which Sausage graciously accepted. Pix then sat down opposite of him and spoke "So, since you sit here now, I assume your trip to the spirit realm was successful?“

Of course Pix would know about that, “I think so? I don’t feel corrupted anymore and the haze that used to cloud my mind is gone so...maybe? I...still don’t understand how going there cured me.”

“In Pixandrian beleif, those with damaged souls go there to heal or pass on. Xornoth corrupted yours entirely and when Gem killed you, that’s where you ended up. You were dead to the world for a week, Sausage; the only sign that you were going to come back was because that spirit tether of yours was glowing.”

Sausage pulled the strange object he’d been given by Sir Carlos out and looked at it, “That’s what this thing is called?”

Pix nodded in response, “Most souls that end up in the spirit realm pass on while others get lost and eventually fade away over time. A spirit tether ensures that a soul will find its way back to its body. They are extremely rare so I was surprised to find you had one.”

“A friend gave it to me...I guess I quite literally owe him my life. But my spiritual journey is not why I came here; I see the way everyone looks at me, to them I’m still the servant of evil, Xornoth’s corrupted Champion. I have nightmares of what I’ve done and who I’ve hurt, I have permanent scars to remind me of my mistakes...there’s so much guilt and regret, Pix...I don’t know what to do.”

"Guilt and regret are hard wounds to heal; even now, I still cannot forgive myself for what I did to the enderdragon and, honestly, I don’t think I ever will. Speak with those you wronged, even if they don’t believe you at first. It will take time and effort to fix what has been broken and there will be scarring that remains once the wound heals, but I know you, Sausage, and you’re pretty hard to stay mad at for very long.”

A pained smile crossed Sausage’s mouth at those words, “Even though I’ve caused so much greif and pain?”

"I don’t speak for the others, but the way I see it, if we’re going to stop Xornoth, we need to be united. The sooner we put our quarrels aside, the sooner we can deal with him.”

“Joey is still drunk with power and praise and I’m pretty sure that crown of his is messing with his mind somehow. We need to save him first, Pix, before he’s too far gone for us to do anything.”

Pix nodded, “Agreed. But, for now, you’ve traveled a long way to get here. Why don’t you stay in Pixandria for the night and head off to Mythland to make amends with the others in the morning?”

As if in agreement Sausage yawned, “Alright, thank you Pix, for everything. And...I’m sorry for the embassy trap but you did kinda ask for us to do better pranks.”

A laugh escaped the Copper King at the comment, his brown eyes glinting with mischief, "I did, didn’t I? Well, you know me, my retaliation will be tenfold so I hope you’re ready, Sausage.”

Sausage let out a chuckle and a sly smirk, “Bring it on, Copper King.”

[surveillance-0011]

TBOI Headcanons: Horsemen

Death

He/him

He’s...nice. Not a good person by any means but he’s the most polite of the bunch. Kind of strange though. Creepily calm, a bit sarcastic, and he has a pretty morbid view on the world.

Reserved and usually grumpy. He can be rather chipper off-duty, though. Putting up with the others takes a lot of energy from him.

Tired....

A bit neurotic but good at coming off as a down-to-earth guy.

He’s the most book-smart of the bunch and he’s fairly wise. A bit emotionally stunted, but he tries his best to be mature and make the right choices.

Death is more than a bit nihilistic and pessimistic. He has a hard time just... caring, mostly about himself.

Not to say he’s completely apathetic, he can be pretty empathetic but he tries not to act on that too much because if he did his job would have broken him by now.

He likes to think he’s got it all under control, but he does not. He’s more prone to pettiness and stupid decisions than he’d like to admit.

That being said he’s been pretty good with like. Growing and maturing though. He’s changed more than he realizes in just in the past.... decade or so ago. A bit of a late start for an immortal but hey at least he’s slightly less of a scumbag.

It’s usually not easy to anger him unless he’s really tired or something’s already set him off. When something does piss him off badly he’s a bit prone to freaking out. He’s not very good at handling his emotions. 

Sees his own job as a necessary evil, because hey, someone’s gotta do it.

Interested in botany/gardening, as well as literature.

Genuinely nice- or at least polite- to the kids when he’s not supposed to be murdering them. He sees no reason to go out of his way to do so, especially since unwarranted cruelty towards others has only bit him in the ass.

Famine’s older brother. The two have always had each other’s backs.

Diligent, and always considers the logistics to things instead of acting on emotion alone.

Protective of the other horsemen.

Pretty short tbh

His horse’s name is Chili.

Famine

She/he (bigender). You can use both interchangeably or only use one set, she doesn’t care. Fine with they/them too but it’s never really clicked w/ him enough to be preferred.

Usually prefers more masculine terms (brother, sir, mr...) but fine with anything.

.Flips between bouncing off the walls and having no energy whatsoever.

Impulsive, she’s got terrible judgement and has the most idiotic of ideas sometimes.

Fairly easygoing, tries to forgive and forget and doesn’t let little transgressions get to her

Actually pretty damn sad. Needs some self care but never looks after herself.

I mean she’s optimistic and usually happy but like. There’s always just a bit of sadness, you know? He’s dealt with a lot and it’s definitely taken its toll on him.

Disaster Lesbian

Tries to be a graceful loser but she can get a bit more competitive than she’d like to admit.

Has a hard time relating to others and considering how they feel, at least when it comes to anything more complex than “bad thing happened now I’m sad/mad” He’s a drifter by nature, always onto the next big thing for a quick thrill.

Eats a lot. It’s never enough.

Plants and a good deal of food will decay if she touches them, or even gets too close to them.

Like his brother he has some interest in nature. Famine is more on the adventurous side, though. She’s tried to live off the land a few times with varying success.

Named her horse Frisk

Pestilence

He/him

Calm, quiet, but also a pessimistic jackass.

Always in a bad mood. I mean, he’s permanently sick with just about everything contagious and deadly. You’d be grumpy, too!

Surprisingly high pain tolerance. A good deal of his nerves have probably just.. shut down or something. Or maybe he’s just numb to everything after a lifetime of pain.

Sleeps a lot

Dislikes his situation a lot, but doesn’t mind the company of the others.

Lazarus is terrified of this dude. The other kids are mostly grossed out or annoyed by him.

Likes to be alone.

Fairly smart, but comes off as absent minded bc he’s pretty much too sick to function. He slips up a lot and he’s pretty damn clumsy

Probably the most rational of the bunch, when he’s not in airplane mode. 

He’s also got a fairly strong moral compass. He doesn’t really like fighting the kids unlike War and Famine. Or just having to go up against people in general. Hell he hates the fact people get sick because of him. At the very least Pest has higher standards and is fairly transparent

But that isn’t to say he’s a good person. Yeah he doesn’t go out of his way to hurt others for shits and giggles and He’s Not Conquest but he doesn’t ever object to any of the shit the kids are put through and well. Yknow he still does kill them. He will also encourage some of War’s antics when it’s against someone he dislikes.

Tries to be as supportive as he can for the others. He knows he can’t do too much without overexerting so he tries to be encouraging and comforting as he can.

This compassion usually isn’t extended to humans, though.

Not very emotive, the only emotions he ever really expresses would be disdain and mild concern.

Not very fond of Conquest but they don’t hate each other. They actually work together well, too.

Friends with Mahalath. They’re pretty close!

His horse’s name is Moses.

War

He/it

He’s not very friendly, he’s pretty defensive and always on edge.

Out of all the horsemen, he’s probably the one closest with the Beast.

Lots of scars n injuries, it’s practically stitched together

One gold tooth

Impulsive, prefers solving issues through violence than through reason.

He can be fairly clever, though.

Intentionally angers/upsets others, likes causing problems and ruining things for people.

Desires wealth and power

Gets burnt out pretty quickly.

Emotional, insecure, and sensitive, and he hates this part of him. Definitely overcompensates for it.

Explosive temper, quite literally. Catches fire when upset and explodes if it’s more intense. Damage done to him also makes it happen. It’s not entirely voluntary but can be held off, and his “sobbing” sprite is him doing exactly that (but he’s probably also trying not to cry lmao). In the Ultra War fight, however...

Its daily routine leaves a lot to be desired. It wakes up, goes to work, then it goes home and just. Sits and rots.

Also, his diet is god awful. Please just eat a fruit or vegetable for once maybe you’d feel better goddamn.

He cannot remember if his horse is actually a horse or not but uhh he named her Bellum.

Conquest

He/they.

High and mighty sort of attitude. Can be very selfish. Stubborn, set in his ways. Gets defensive if you call him out or tell him he’s wrong.

Gay + nonbinary but in the closet (and denial) about both of those things. They’re trying to unlearn years’ worth of internalized bigotry.

Used to be worse, now trying to unlearn his toxic behaviors. But he’s still awful.

Doesn’t remember anything before their death. However they’ve held very strong Christian (specifically Catholic) beliefs all their life and they have a pretty black and white way of thinking.

Very cold and clinical. He has a bit of a temper but there’s a sort of calmness to everything he does even when he’s pissed.

Just as argumentative and aggressive as War but like more of a threat.

The others call him Connie sometimes, especially Death, who practically almost always calls him by this nickname.

Doesn’t harbor ill will towards Pestilence. They might have been overshadowed, but it’s not Pestilence’s own fault. If anything, being out of the spotlight has been good for Conquest, even if they do miss the attention sometimes. The only reason the two dislike each other is because their personalities clash.

Now if there’s anyone he hates that would be the Headless Horseman. Fuck that guy amiright

Very protective of Death. The two are close, Death is probably the only person who is consistently nice to him.

Utterly terrified of needles (hypodermic, not sewing needles, though he’s not good with sharp objects tbh) and medical stuff makes him anxious

Seems very... off. Just weird vibes but no one can pin point what about him is wrong.

Oh uh and his horse’s name is Josephine.

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 14 - Sentibulleur (Sentibubbler)

I just seen the episode today, because I wasn't looking forward for another Alya-centric one, I'm already sick of it. I did it only now when have more free time. It's the first time, since I'm a Miraculous fan, when I'm starting watching a completely new episode without feeling even a bit of excitation. I'm not gonna lie that I enjoyed it, I don't, because it's not my cup of tea. This is why this post is more about why I dislike Alya favouritism than Sentibubbler itself. But I need to clarify that I didn't enjoy the episode mostly because of personal taste, I'm not trying to say it's "objectively" bad (though opinions are never objective, only facts could be). If you love Alya's arc, it's completely understandable that you probably love this episode as well.

I thought it would be a DjWfi episode (to be clear, I haven't seen any trailers of it, only one screenshot, which was said to be from this episode, but I don't remember seeing that moment in it at all, and the ending card), but poor Nino was just a background character. This is literally an "Alya is amazing" episode in which she is saving the world with a very little help of Ladybug and even less of Chat Noir, who is treated more like an offending trash. After watching it, I see fan edits like that are even more accurate to describe season 4 (not made by me, I just stole it from Cartoon Apocalypse's video).

Adrien was supposed to be a deuteragonist and a second main character, but Alya is much more like ones than Adrien has ever been. He has never gotten as many episodes focusing on him as much like those with Alya in a season (and we can be sure, it's not the last one) and he has never be as much the main hero in a fight against villains in any of them. Instead of giving him more screentime, he's putted even more in the background than before, because Alya needs to shine. Why they can't do it without treating Adrien that much unfair? I'm not gonna hide that I hate it and it makes me feel that maybe I should stop watching the show, since it looks like it's not something I really enjoy anymore. Adrien is my favourite character, so I'm really pissed of that Alya is stealing his role. We will see, but once I will be sure that Alya favouritism is gonna last forever, I would consider stopping watching the show seriously. Especially that doesn't go hand in hand with good writing. In this episode nothing as much absurd like in Optigami happened, but I still have one big issue.

It's not a problem with Alya herself. I'm used to like her, even if she's been annoying me sometimes before S4. But I don't know what to think about her this season, since I have some issues with her writing. I just don't like the idea of as much favouritism any of the characters who are not the original main ones, especially if Adrien is treated that bad by the writing at the same time. I would say the same if it was Kagami, who is my third favourite character in the show, after Adrien and Plagg. As you see, I like the Japanese girl even more than Marinette, but I still don't think that making her more important than the protagonist would be okay (it would make no sense, but you know what I mean).

Besides, I've seen people speculating that Alya is going to fuse the fox with ladybug Miraculous in an episode in which Marinette is akumatised (if one will ever happen). Don't you see how much unfair to Adrien/Chat Noir it is? Alya is already getting much of special treatment, more than a character who was supposed to be the next most important one after the current Guardian of the Mother Box. An episode with Marinette as an akuma should be the one in which Chat Noir is saving her without help of any other heroes, just like she has saved him alone in Chat Blanc. If there was a fusion of the fox and ladybug, it would mean that's not a story mostly about Marinette and Adrien anymore. It would make it clear that the writers are not even try to hide the fact that's now it's Alya the second most important character. Adrien could be the third one at best, Chat is only a sidekick of the Ladies, not really a hero equal to Ladybug anymore. Besides, episode like that is most probably the only chance to see Tikki using her power without a wielder. Wouldn't it really interesting to see what bad happens when Tikki is using Lucky Charm all by herself?

And to be fair, this season has really way too much Alya generally, I'd like to see more other heroes, not just Rena Rouge and Rena Rouge over and over again. I want more new Miraculous wielders and since Ladybug is calling the old ones (though she definitely should not do it), I want to see them in action too. We need to get a full transformation sequence of Ryuuko at least once. But the more episodes they are released, the less I believe it would ever happen. Good thing that they found few seconds to show Chat's sequence (only a second time in 10 episodes!), but still no Cataclysm. I wonder if they are even going to show it after season 3.

I have no idea what writers are planning to do. If they're want Alya to be a permanent Miraculous holder who is treated like co-guardian by Marinette forever, why they write her that way? Why isn't she really noble and careful? Why all those red flags she's giving Marinette (those she always ignore anyway): like letting Mr. Ramier know that Ladybug's the Guardian now, though she asked her to keep it as a secret, or stealing a Miraculous that almost made Ladybug's identity exposed. Are any of those events be relevant later? Are they there to show that saying Alya everything about the Guardian things and giving her the fox Miraculous permanently are bad decisions? If yes, what's the purpose of Sentibubbler? This episode doesn't seem to be really significant, it's more like another one fan service for Alya stans. The previous ones were actually important, this one could be missed without much a loss for the plot. The only reason it could be seen as significant is to make Marinette letting her guard down even more. But isn't she extremely careless already? After revealing her identity, she immediately started to tell Alya all the Guardian secrets, gave her a code for the Miracle Box, as well as the Miraculous permanently, despite her identity being exposed and all the wrong things she has done. Marinette is already dealing completely reckless with Alya, there's no reason to make her even more. Besides, that dream can't be a prophetic one, right? I remember that adult Bunnix really believed that exposing Ladybug's identity is something what Alya is able to do (from her time at least), but I think it's impossible to happen in real. That's why I see this episode as the most "fillerish" from all of this's season those have been released till now. Other ones introduced new characters or Miraculous wielders at least, nothing really new and crucial happened in this one. There's nothing bad in fillers, but why another Alya-centric one? Why not focusing on a character who hasn't been favoured this season instead?

The most stupid thing in this episode is that Rena Rouge made an illusion in which Ladybug says that she won't give the Miraculous to her anymore, for two reasons. One is that Gabriel bought that very weak lie without questioning it at all. It's clearly a plot armor. I know that they tend to make Gabriel very dumb when they need it from the beginning, but it's extremely stupid even to him. Hey, Gabriel, you know Rena Rouge's identity for some time now and Ladybug has been already giving Rena the fox few times before after her identity being exposed. Why that sudden decision? Isn't it suspect? Second is that it's been portrayed as a clever thing, while it makes Alya unable to be Rena Rouge anymore, if they don't want to show to Shadow Moth that was a lie. I'm not talking only about the battles, Rena can't be seen in public, since Ladyblog is not the only place which is showing content about the heroes. So then there's no reason for Alya to keep the fox anymore. Unless I interpret it wrong, and Marinette doesn't think it would make Gabriel stop going after Alya. But to me it looked like that and that's also make Marinette dumb anyway, because she is still unable of seeing how dangerous it is for her best friend. Alya's plan worked once, but it doesn't mean it would work again, once he discovers the lie, it would make him even more suspicious of a bond between Rena Rouge and Ladybug. Marinette is risking not only safety of Paris and the whole world, but also safety of her best friend. Why everyone is able to see that obvious thing, not only the girls but also all of the Kwamis? I'm not going to change my opinion that they are dumbing down all the characters who are involved in it and that's just bad and lazy writing.

And where's Su-Han when he's needed. I've been working on the English subtitles for the French dubbing of Furious Fu recently and now I remember that he said that he's going to observe Marinette and take the box from her is she makes a slight mistake. She's keeping making bad decisions, but he still isn't showing. That was a lie? Because if he doesn't see anything wrong in how's Marinette is dealing with her guardian duty, I'm gonna to lose the rest of my faith in the writers.

--------

I'm so sorry. I wanted to be active on Tumblr at least a bit after seeing this episode, but I still don't feel motivated. It's painful to say that season 4 is mostly a disappointment to me, especially that I hate the biggest story arc of it.

[dell-delta]

Although I love the sentiment behind this post, I respectfully disagree, and I'm gonna explain why.

Before I start, yeah, I know this is post is just for fandom entertainment (no offense to the author!), but as someone who grew up around horses and who has a couple of headcanons about Arthur in these regards, I guess I just wanna explain some things to non-horsey people in this fandom that might be useful, even if just for fiction-writing purposes or literally anything else (in other words, I had a shitty day and just wanted to be a smartass so please, lemme have that, thank you <3).

We don't really know anything about Boadicea except for how deep Arthur's connection to her was, but I love the assumption that she was a menace. Some horses are, especially mares (and even more specifically, red mares, which I think I heard Boadicea was). But when you're dealing with horses on regular basis, there's no such thing as "letting them get away with stuff". This is half a ton of muscle on fragile legs coordinated by a rather small brain with no sense of object permanence (this is why horses get spooked even by stuff they have seen a bambillion of times) we're talking about. They could kill you with one wrong step (and would never realize it because of said object permanence issues).

So, when handling horses, you have to be extremely disciplinated, because those little shits will totally do stuff that'll sometimes be funny, but the exact same thing could come with a price tag the next time. You can't let horses get away with stuff, because they will try again, and again, and again, and it'll escalate, and then you'll have a horse with serious behavioral issues that'll be hard to correct. It's the same as with dogs, except like... Much bigger.

Arthur is a skilled horseman. The way he rides and communicates with his horses radiates that. He's also a very practical person to whom horse is a very much needed transport device, and a partner that he needs to be able to rely on in gunfights and other critical situations.

Relationship with a horse means much more than the game (for practical reasons, I assume) lets on. It's not just about "bonding" and trust. Trust can only matter when there's respect and boundaries.

Obviously, Arthur's horses are so well behaved mostly due to the game mechanisms, but irl, there would have to be way more effort put into that relationship. You let your horse disrespect you or anyone else once and it'll come to bite you in the ass later (maybe even literally, and trust me, it hurts as fuck). And I bet Arthur knows that, and actively reinforces firm rules to make sure the respect is there. It's what's best for the horse, too – if they don't have respect for you, they can't rely on you for guidance in situations they can't solve themselves. All horses ever want is to be safe. Your job as an owner/rider is to convince them you can keep them safe if they allow you to have the upper hand and control of the situation. Once you do that, even in the most critical/dangerous situations, the horse will choose to stand still and listen to you because they will understand you have their best interests at heart, and that they're much more likely to get to safety if they simply listen to your commands and stay within boundaries. However, that requires the horse to firstly understand they cannot disrespect said commands and boundaries. It's all connected.

Arthur needs to trust his horse with his life. Doesn't seem to me that he'd neglect this cruical part of horse training just to laugh over some bad, even if funny horse behaviour. Can a horse be bitchy and still have respect? Of course. Can they sometimes just do dumb stuff, get zoomies and randomly tear down a whole camp? Yes, they're just animals. Did something like that happen in the history of the gang? Probably. If you spend so much time around horses as those people do, you witness all kinds of crazy stuff.

Just a disclainer, not every bad thing the horse does requires a correction. Sometimes, they're bratty and grumpy because they're in a bad mood, or because they don't like something. They should be able to express negativity just as much as people – there's thin lines, of course, but it's important to recognize where said behaviour comes from, and respond accordingly. But if the horse is being a menace just for the hell of it and because they're allowed to, it's wrong.

Considering Arthur's approach to life, his line of work, and the immense amount of support and reliability he needs from his horse partner in crime, I doubt he'd let that slide. He might laugh, but he'll make it clear to her she's overstepping boundaries, and that what she has done is unacceptable. Yes, modern groundwork might still be a relatively new thing, but even in the Old West era, cowboys had their ways to ensure their horses behave. Some of them were probably kinda dubious, but based on Arthur's interactions with his horsies from the game, I choose to interpret him as a skilled and sensible "horse whisperer". But yeah, just so you know. Relationships with horses (and animals) aren't just about trust and "bonding level", and sometimes even the cute stuff horses do can have unwanted consequences.

the "no horses in camp" rule is in place because of arthur n boadicea, cause i know that horse was a menace n arthur would absolutely let his baby get away with everything, no matter how much of a mess she made

[quinnfebrey]

okay i think i saw u mention this in the response to the dating advice anon, but do you find it difficult to respond to people’s texts? like the whole not responding for weeks and then talking for hours on facetime thing. i’ve been diagnosed with adhd for a long time and i have always struggled to reply to people quickly. like idk something about it just doesn’t even register and i’ve noticed some other neurodivergent people have said they experience the same thing. i think it has to do with my general lack of object permanence, for example the way i lose everything i touch even though it’s right in front of me. my friends who are also neurodivergent tend to completely understand, and even the neurotypical ones have come to understand me. i have one friend that is exactly like me and one of us will just spam with a million texts and then the other will take days to reply but do the same thing, and we don’t care. it just is how it is. i feel so bad about it though. it’s always on my mind yet i have such a hard time doing it. one of my close friends has been giving me such shit for stuff like that lately and it’s really bothering me cause it’s not for lack of effort. i WANT to talk to my friends, to talk to her, but something in my brain isnt letting me, if that makes sense? i’m also actively trying to be better with her specifically but i still fuck it up sometimes cause i forget. i understand that she’s hurt by it, and have apologized and i’m trying to be better, but i feel like people love neurodivergence and say they understand you until it inconveniences them. they LOVE to say shit like “oh i lose my phone too sometimes ha ha!” but can’t handle the shitty parts of ADHD. they belittle the actual struggles of having it and cherry pick what they want from it to make it quirky. it’s being romanticized now and it’s painful to watch because my adhd makes me feel fucking crazy most of the time and people are commodifying the shit out of it. —🌵

omg cactus this is literally why i haven’t answered ur ask yet 😭😭 for me having issues answering texts and stuff has to do with

1. object permanence. i always say you can expect a reply from me either within 2 seconds or never. bc i’ll either answer as soon as i get it or the notif goes away and then i forget i even got the text in the first place

2. overwhelming. a simple question or response just fries my brain and so i just pretend i didn’t get the text LOL

3. idk why but typing makes me so exhausted like if we were speaking face to face i would give you rambles of answers but if we’re texting you’re gonna get “haha yeah” 🧍🏻‍♀️

i literally despise texting so much. it’s so hard for me to maintain a conversation and i’m bad at responding in the first place and it sucks so much energy out of me. even w people i am super excited to talk to i have a honeymoon phase of like 1 day and then i regress again lol

and yeah adhd is SO much more debilitating than even a lot of professionals seem to think. the ONLY therapist i’ve ever had that understood me was one who ALSO was adhd. that’s it. and she agreed the diagnostics and the info professionals get on adhd is lacking in a lot of areas. it’s so frustrating

idk i don’t really have any advice for your situation :/ but you could ask to call more instead of texting? and remind her you do want to talk to her you just have trouble with texting and it has nothing to do with how interested you are

[og-danny-dorito]

Hancock SFW Headcanons To Satiate My Undying Thirst for This Raisin

this is dedicated to all of my 12 year old monster/humanoid obsessions, and to the ones which may follow such as this mans, John Hancock, the mayor of Goodneighbor. because I'll be damned if I see a ghoul and don't become immediately attracted to them. also these weren't requested, but @thatwolfnamednyla​ seemed interested so i'll tag them (i can remove the tag too if you want me to, just let me know).

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

S F W :

- ok so, I’m gonna start off with physical headcanons because it’s easier for me to base everything off of that 

- since most of the heights in the game are the same and they don’t really give any actual canon heights for them, I’d say that he’s about 5”5 because I love the imagine of a short man with a knife. like-

- yeah he’s definitely powerful and strong willed and mental the opposite of a short baby man, but like can you just imagine some dude walking up to you and having to look up at you because he’s small? Especially a high af ghoul man small boy? an artistic virtue

- that, and he’s generally the most crackhead out of all the companions 

- like he’s the guy to go to if you’re itching to bust out some chems and go shoot at random shit in the middle of the night cause he’s just that kinda dude 

- he lives for the thrill of things, and so obviously someone equally as crackhead as he is would fit him perfectly, but for the sake of actual relationship building I’d say that he’s better fit with a rational crackhead 

- like yeah, going out and getting yourself fucked up is great, but like not to the point of getting yourself so fucked up beyond repair, yknow? someone who takes a second and a half to think his crazy ass ideas through and THEN do it with him is the best person for the job as his metaphorical babysitter 

- and he really likes to be taken care of because he’s a sucker for that shit. I would say that he has a daddy/mommy kink but like these aren’t nsfw and so I’m not gonna bust out that nasty shit just yet 

- that said, being his partner doesn’t have very specific guidelines. being pansexual AND polyamorous allows him to love freely as he was genetically destined to anyway 

- seriously, he’s attracted to you if you say something nice to him and show a little bit of interest that’s just how it is. he doesnt really think of appearances unless he's only out for dick

- he doesn’t really have a specific type either??? but he finds timid and nervous people so fucking cute. like,,, if you keep apologizing because of small things he’ll ruffle your hair and start calling you ‘kid’ and ‘sweetie’ cause honestly it’s just so sweet to see you get all nervous and shy 

- it literally makes him want to fistfight someone in an abandoned parking lot for you and he can't help his protectionist ways

- like he likes to be taken care of yeah, but he ends up setting y’all in the ‘give some get some’ scenario where it’s more of a partnership 

- jokingly calls you ‘smoothskin’ even if your skin isn’t smooth like you’re scarred or something. it cracks him up because he does it in a smoker voice too but he already sounds like a smoker so he ends up coughing a little bit after in between laughs 

- biggest goofball on the planet 

- will literally play pranks on you because he finds it funny, like using makeshift pre-war whoopee cushion and shit like that. will also 100% love it if you prank him back. he doesn’t take much seriously and so any form of mild joking makes him genuinely happy 

- if you’re inclined to more permanent relationships however, this could become an issue. not the whole whoopee cushion thing the seriousness thing

- just because he does sleep with other people and lowkey tell you all the time about how “That raider was packin, and I don’t mean to be a whore but honestly like if he wanted some he could get some.”, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. it’s just that it’s normal for him to be attracted to other people at the same time. it can be more than one person at once, which can sometimes be a problem if more traditional people not cool with it 

- confronting him about it either to confirm it negatively or positively depends on your preference. he didn’t really think of this as permanent in the first place, more of a friends with benefits situation where you also benefit each other with extreme emotional support, and so you wanting to make it serious will trigger his fear of commitment 

- therefore, if you’re not okay with it he may have a hard time adapting, but if he’s really grown on you then he can try to be better about it. he won’t make the one he loves uncomfortable without their permission, but he’ll try his best to explain it (the best that he can doesn't necessarily that he’ll do it well though) 

- if you’re alright with it then he will most likely bring up the topic of either threesomes/poly-somes and/or adding someone else to your romantic stuff or something like that if either of areyou is interested. communication is key in this sort of thing, and so he’ll almost always go to you before like trying to initiate anything with someone after talking with them and you about the situation 

- oh did I mention fear of commitment? Cause I’m about to get real angsty 

- MAN does he have an issue with it. not only that, but the reason he doesn’t really view this thing as permanent is because he’s fairly certain he’ll outlive you. he's terrified of loosing you one day and then not knowing what the he'll to do with himself for the rest of his life. he’s scared of being tied down it totally goes against his whole thing of freedom, and since he’s already conflicted about anarchy and order he literally avoids thinking about settling down with anyone or anything 

- he’s holding onto a past that brought him joy then, but could ruin him now. and the best way to deal with that is to try to get through it as best as you can and leave the past behind, but he still finds himself reminiscing about things that could’ve happened 

- it keeps him up sometimes, thinking about it. he’ll lay flat on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours at a time just... thinking. and only when he’s lightly pressed about it will he say something, and even then it seems more like he’s struggling to find the words. It’s weird how he can talk to goodneighbor’s citizens like it’s nothing, but talking about himself gets him all choked up 

- he would very much like it if you just like, kissed his face or hold his hand sometimes. to him it speaks more than a thousand words, and if he’s really having a hard time it means everything for you to be there for him 

- that, and with the fact that you’re his best friend means that you’re his ride or die partner in crime 

- just sitting around and doing chems with you and getting all philosophical or doing dumb shit is pretty much all he needs to be satisfied with you, and he really likes hearing you talk about pre-war society 

- whether your views are negative or positive, he likes hearing about the way things used to work. he likes your stories about how you grew up and how you came to be who you are today, and a lot of the time he finds himself asking you about something he doesn’t know because you’re technically the ultimate source of knowledge on that stiff by this point 

- you’d have to assure him that you didn’t know everything and no, you had no idea what year that random object he found was made, but he likes it anyway. you pique his interest, and just sharing a few mindset traits with you makes him feel much more secure and like you’ve got something that matters to the both of you 

- that, and he thinks you’re the coolest motherfucker on the planet 

- he’d probably be more attracted to free spirits, those who hold a strong moral code and defend it like it’s their lifeline. obviously he has a wide range of romantic and causal interest guidelines, but that’s the key point there. Someone who stands for what they believe in and protects those around them 

- and NOW for my favorite part, miscellaneous headcanons ; 

he’s probably the most openly sexual out of all the companions besides Gage, but tbh gage isn't down to walk naked through commonwealth and he is so obviously he’s the most freaky 

he’s more himbo oriented, although with this chart done originally by @cockneydio​

I can tell you that he’s this 👌 close to being a feral himbo and is probably turned on by danger so you can already tell what kinda bitch he is 

he likes to give you his jacket when you’re cold or he just feels like it and it usually smells like cigarettes and gunpowder 

thinks that pastel colors and soft clothes are kind of cute on people for some reason 

is a sucker for pda, might die if you kiss on his neck or tell him he looks nice that day while you’re in public. Also super into just randomly slapping your ass because he finds it hilarious (slapping his ass in turn earns you a flirty comment and a mildly turned on raisin man) 

loves receiving gifts from you and equally as much giving them, which is commonly just cool little things he’s found and thought you would like 

makes cheesy pick up lines all the time and you can’t change my mind 

would die for pet names, given or received. like yes call him “honey” and “sugar” he will MELT he's just a big nerd

he's kinda self conscious about himself around you, but likes phsycial contact too much to deny himself of it so he's literally always attached to you and/or on top of you if he can help it

- hancock isn’t feral, but he sure does act like it sometimes. what he needs is someone who can balance him out and give him the space when he needs it, and who genuinely cares about he people around them regardless of who or what they are. just being there for him on the bad days means the world to him, and he wouldn’t give what y'all have up for all the caps and chems in the world

[puttingfingerstokeys]

how come cassie gets two dads?

So @sxvethelastdance and I have had more than a few conversations vis a vis Raiden being like, thunder dad, and ofc Johnny being like a fantastic father and like, how much Faraday Cage (Johnny/Raiden) was an expression of tired fathers helping each other back to like... some semblance of okay-ness... which ofc is embodied in a friend in need but like, what’re some of the more humorous aspects of Raiden sort of... becoming part of the Cage family? This one isn’t HILARIOUS but it’s a little chuckle worthy.

Ft. Cassie, Raiden, and Johnny (mentions of Liu Kang)

light Faraday Cage, implied Caged Heat 

Broken Timeline (echoes of prevented timeline tho!)

“Cassandra Cage.” 

Cassie nearly jumps out of her skin, and the hair on the back of her neck is decidedly standing on end. She whirls, body tense, despite knowing who is addressing her and being otherwise accustomed to his presence in her father’s home. 

Of late, the god of thunder—well, she supposes he isn’t technically a god anymore, after what had happened with Liu Kang, but he still appears in lightning bolts and his eyes still have that freaky-ass glow—has made himself a semi-permanent fixture around the Cage house. She is glad for it, because the place had started to become desolate and empty without her mother, even if it had been years since Sonya lived with her father. It’s the knowing, Cassie assumes, that makes it hard.

“Jesus H Christ on a FUCKIN’ bike!” The hiss is hoarse, good-natured, but betraying the thumping of her heart. Raiden chuckles and shakes his head, clearly amused by the display. 

“I am not your Earthrealm messiah—perhaps Lord Liu Kang would be a better fit in that role,” he says after a moment, stepping into the room. His eyes, unreadable to most, but never to the Cages, rest upon her only a moment before drifting over her shoulder to the window behind and the back lawn, where Johnny seems to be tinkering with a round, flat platform made of undetermined material—it is clearly heavy, but he has not given up on his quest… whatever that entails. 

“So what’s up? Dad’s outside, messin’ around with… well a landing pad for you, actually.” Cassie sets the pile of magazines aside which she had been transporting to the recycling bin, frustrated with herself and her babbling. There is something about Raiden that brings forth a gush of words, and not the usual, sharp ones which suggest she is in any way in control of her speech patterns. She regards the vacuum cleaner, sitting off to one side, pointing her irked gaze toward it, rather than Raiden. 

A Roomba is hard at work behind the couch in the area just before the foyer. The place is shaping up, almost gleaming, and Raiden is glad to see its emerging cleanliness. Cassie has clearly been matching the Roomba blow for blow in the rest of the house. Raiden only half wonders after the occasion. Earthrealm people have so many celebrations that it is, admittedly, difficult to keep track, though he suspects it is Johnny’s birthday. 

“I see that.” The material of the platform with which the elder Cage is struggling, Raiden decides, must be a thick, vulcanized rubber composite. Johnny has expressed in the past his displeasure at the burn marks upon the lawn, though always in good humor. Evidently now he has made moves to prevent it. “But I am not here to speak with your father, Cassandra Cage.” 

“Mmkay, so… with me, then? Do I need to like, kneel or… siddown or?” She doesn’t know the proper protocol to speak with a god or… emissary or whatever he is, though she has chatted fairly casually with Raiden on multiple occasions; this seems to be a little heavier and they are not on the brink of multi-realm war. “Oh uh—shit, do you want a seat?” 

She clears another stack of magazines from the sofa and gestures. The divine nods and expresses his thanks, seating himself and finally ceasing his habit of towering over everyone in the room. Cassie plops herself on yet another chair then jumps up with a start. “FUCK!” She pulls a deflated whoopie cushion out from under her rear and tosses into a pile that deserves a neon sign reading “trash”. 

Raiden chuckles. “Another of your father’s mementos?” 

“Some’n like that,” she grunts, then straightens, as if recalling to whom she is speaking. Cassie respects Raiden, though she has not nearly so much experience with him as her father and late mother, or Liu Kang, who’s evidently some kind of titan-god-human hybrid thing now. She’s not clear on the logistics of that one, but it’s fine and probably above her pay grade in either case. “Anyway, what’s up?” Smooth, Cassie, just ask the literal embodiment of lightning ‘what’s up’ again. Nice.

“I wanted to express my condolences properly… for your mother and… my apologies on behalf of my older self—my… uglier self.” He shakes his head, sighing, wide shoulders sagging. The hat obscures his face, but she can read his expression via body language. Raiden is heartbroken. “Sonya Blade was a powerful, honorable, worthy representative of Earthrealm and all for which we stand—and she is… she was your mother and—” 

“And she put up with dad, so that prolly makes her worthy of canonization—do y’all do that? Canonize folks? I mean that’s kinda what happened to Liu, right?” She, like her father, speaks over her pain, willing it to flee before her mighty voice. But it still hurts. Like Cassie can read Raiden, Raiden can read Cassie. She, by his estimate, is currently wishing she did not feel the compulsion to speak so loquaciously or frankly with him.

“She is worthy of a great many honors—I only wish that I had been a better person to honor her, a better friend. What I said… It was unkind and thoughtless. She did die with honor, but I… hate that she died at all.” His hands are folded in his lap, his face a stern mask. He is holding together well, due most likely to millennia of practice. Cassie has always imagined his forays into the world of the Elder Gods to be exercises in his own patience and humility, if they’re anything like how Johnny has envisioned them. She trusts her father’s perspective on the subject. He knows a few things about shitty parents, after all. “I am very sorry. Please, accept my apologies.” 

Cassie stands, then, and, in a burst of boldness not unlike her father’s, she seats herself on the couch next to Raiden—at a respectful distance, of course, but close enough to shift her body so she is facing him and her left knee nearly comes into contact with his right. 

She can feel from here that peculiar electrical field her father once described to her when he had downed perhaps one too many beers and it is, in a word, immense. This isn’t even his final form, she thinks almost flippantly. The laughter threatens, but only in that hysterical way it sometimes does at funerals or other somber, church-related events. She reaches out to place one hand atop both of his and finds them, as well, to be immense. Her heart jackhammers for a moment and she wonders if this is what cardiac arrest feels like. Their eyes meet. 

“Raiden,” she says quietly, “I… get it. It wasn’t really you—not this you. I don’t… know anything about multiverse bullshit or cosmic whatever-the-fuck, but I… know you… err, well, I’ve gotten to know you,” she amends, then presses on, “and, more importantly, dad knows you. You don’t have to apologize, ever… Your being around here for him—for both of us—is huge. It means a lot to him and to me, y’know? You’re like the weird uncle that’s hard to explain to the neighbors, or somethin’.” Cassie withdraws her hand, because the electrical current has become too much and she’s gone a little numb in the immediate area. She minutely covers it with the other as she folds it in her lap, imitating him, but secretly trying to rub feeling back into it. 

“I do not do this, be here with you both, to apologize,” Raiden informs her, straightening. “I… have become fond of your family over the years and… it is not something even my nature can overcome. Nor do I want to deny it, Cassandra Cage.” 

“Okay Lord Raiden, I’m—I’ve had it up to here with the whole ‘Cassandra Cage’ thing… Don’t you know me well enough to call me Cassie?” Cassie surprises herself with this outburst. It does not, however, seem to have taken Raiden by surprise. 

“Johnny Cage has said much the same,” he responds. She makes a “see there you go” gesture.

“You and me,” she says suddenly, standing, fists balled, “back yard, winner take all. I win, you call me Cassie—and my dad’s just Johnny, okay?” 

“And if I win.” Raiden stands as well, once more dwarfing her. She suddenly feels foolish about her challenge, but the Blade women never back down. Cage women don’t either. 

“I’ll… make that pizza you like…. With the anchovies.” Cassie pulls a face, indicating she has some objections about Raiden’s choice in pizza toppings. For his part, Raiden seems to consider it. Cassie wonders if he’s considering consulting the Elder Gods, even now, knowing it’s a cruel thought to have. Her contempt for them has not and will not likely ever wane, after what they’ve put Earthrealm through. Death’s more than they deserve, she thinks acidly.

“I accept your challenge.”

Cassie nods, her face grim, the set of her jaw and strongly resembling both her mother and father. She heads toward the back door with Raiden in tow, he heart hammering. Relax, Cass’, she thinks, it’s friendly; he’s not gunna fry ya for this. Just as she reaches it, her father bursts in and tosses his hands up. “I got it, Cass’, I figured out what… I… need…” He trails off as he catches sight of the tall, hat-topped figure behind his daughter. “Is there… uh, what’s goin’ on?” 

Raiden finds his bewilderment charming and his expression softens. “Your daughter has challenged me to Mortal Kombat.” 

“Oh okay well that’s just—MORTAL KOMBAT? Cass’, you gotta be shittin’ me, baby girl; what are you—why? No—Nope I can’t… this is not happening.” 

“Once the challenge has been issued and accepted, it cannot be revoked,” Raiden reminds Johnny, laying a hand upon his shoulder. “But worry not. I have no intention of… cheating. Hold this a moment, will you?”

And just like that, the surge of electricity Johnny had felt when Raiden made contact erupts across all of his nerves and he suddenly feels like he is floating. Cassie once more whirls to face the thunder deity and finds that, in place of glowing, indiscernible irises, a pair of dark, soft ones meet hers with ease and benevolent kindness. Her father, however, is a different story. Reaching up, he pulls off yet another pair of $500 sunglasses (which seem to be in eternal supply in the Cage household) and flashes those strange, glowing eyes at his daughter. 

“Dad?” Cassie’s voice is a strangely hoarse whisper. She shifts her attention and addresses her concerns to Raiden. “Is… he gunna be okay?” 

“He will be fine, Cassandra Cage, now… to Kombat.” He gestures out the back door and, with the sound of her whole name, Cassie’s resolution is galvanized and she leads the way once more, a very human Raiden and a deified Johnny Cage now following her like the strangest band of ducklings ever conceived. 

Johnny watches his hands, lightning dancing between his fingers as he finds his way, dazedly, to a deck chair and plops down into it. “Hey!” He calls suddenly, “can I like… go visit Liu?”

“You can.” 

Before the second syllable is out of Raiden’s mouth, Johnny is gone. Raiden laughs and shakes his head. Cassie’s brows knit together. “Does he even know how to drive that thing?”

“Not at all, but his desire to see his friend will bring him where he needs to be.” Raiden stands back, beckoning Cassie. She notes that he does not seem to drop into any kind of fighting stance as she does and it worries her. She has seen the damage he can do with his lightning, but not without it and she has never, in her recollection, seen him engage in kombat. What the hell am I doing?

“Thunder God Johnny Cage,” Cassie says, the words tasting strange in her mouth. “Who knew?”

“It suits him.”

 -

 The pizza is delicious, in Raiden’s opinion and, though he does not need to eat, there is a certain pleasure in these little indulgences. He is grateful to have learned this lesson from an old friend and he cherishes it when the timing is right and the opportunity arises. This certainly qualifies. They, that is, Cassie and Raiden, are seated on the back patio, the sun slowly sinking, the pizza box open between them. 

“So… why does dad get to be Johnny and I’m still Cassandra?” She does her best to imitate Raiden’s stern baritone, but of course fails miserably and ends up sounding comical. Raiden considers her question and imitation a moment and sits forward, laying his plate aside. He shifts once more and turns to her. 

“Your grandfather Carlton… refers to your father as Jonathan.”

Cassie never asks again.

[dawndestroyer]

man something I've been thinking about is I hate how, I think twitter especially just exacerbates my AVPD... on top of the way theres this information overload I mentioned earlier that makes me gloss over so much after a time, the fact that I'm so reluctant to follow back people who are pleasant and try to talk to me because of how untrustorthy I am of twitter strangers over other sites.., general focus on passive interaction... etc. but also...

god another part of it is that there are a lot of kids on there. a lot who I am caught off guard that are like a decade younger than me until they mention it offhand, a lot of kids positing themselves as authorities on a subject and having their posts on there go viral and are punished for it. I know there's a lot of controversy abt kids putting their age on there and I agree to an extent, but at the same time I can't trust all kids to decide all on their own the kind of distance and boundaries they should have with adults. that kind of responsibility falls on us adults, and we should be putting the appropriate amount of effort into realizing the power and influence we inevitably have over them and making the correct judgements and distance when interacting with them while treating them like people. the easiest and sometimes most appropriate answer to a lot of these interactions is just straight up avoidance if interaction is unnecessary

I'm using that as an example because considering the climate on twitter its been on my mind, but frankly this applies to literally any interaction I have with anyone, especially since imo, boundaries are so much harder to judge online with out much social media (especially twitter imo) completely encourage you to encroach on boundaries that would normally be much more easier to discern in irl interactions. the fact that any actual social interaction other than my family has been through online sources for all of my life has probably not been doing a lot of favors. I'm always trying to be aware. trying to intuit through this medium. the easiest answer everytime is avoidance

the object permanence issue I'm mentioned over and over has also been making things worse since the change from skype to discord... and then this. I want to be better to my friends who keep supporting me and keep treating me with kindness every time, even though we have barely talked in years... I dunno. I'm sad I've become a worse and more fearful person. I'm sad any pretense that I was better was because the interface I was able to communicate through was better, and that its so easy to have that crumble over something as simple as this

[segenassefa]

2: On Consumerism, Fighting Demons, and Societies Inevitable Collapse

Quarantine has been lowkey surreal. My constant complaint of never having enough time to do all the things I want/should be doing has now left me bored in the house, bored in the house, bored with nothing but time to get said things done. However, it is a dual edged sword - with the collapse and subsequent reformation of civil society outside my doors, it leaves me wondering – as well as a lot of other people – in the words of Miss Juicy…what the hell we gone do now?

Nearing the end of the first leg of my university career, I should be thinking about getting ready to transition to the next logical stages of adulthood - saving for an apartment, applying for permanent residency, as well as graduate schools and part time jobs. Yet, I’m worried about if these things will even be a possibility within the next month, six months, or even the next year.

On top of ALL of that, the recent BLM protests and the way that people (read: white people, Latinxs, Black men, homo/transphobes, etc.) have shown their asses the past few months is beyond mortifying - especially regarding the treatment of black women and how our value as individuals as well as a collective to society is really perceived.* This is not to downplay the murder of numerous black men in society, BUT who the fuck is riding for black women aside from other black women? And not just the ones who find attractive, or are racially ambiguous, or the ones you feel as if you get “guilted” into supporting and demanding justice for, I mean each and every black woman. I’m just saying, it gets pretty disheartening to feel like the legwork of the revolution is on the back of one category of people, and that your value to society is measured by the amount of emotional labour you’re ready to do for others, or how fat your ass is (but I digress…).

I feel like most people have used material things as coping mechanisms instead of actually facing their feelings and dealing with the things that bother them. Just think of the number of packages that have arrived on your doorstep the past few months. Breaking the glossy seal of packing tape is similar to therapy, until all the boxes are open, and you start feeling like shit again. And now, more than ever, there’s a lot to be bothered about. Western society has dedicated phrases based on the phenomenon of substituting true self-work with figurative emotional bandages (Phrases like comfort eating and retail therapy come to mind).

It’s nice to think that we – the people entering their adolescent and young adult years – will be the one to change these things, but suddenly it’s 2 am, you have twenty different things in your Amazon cart, (who the fuck needs a metal straw cleaning kit?) and you’re trying to see how far you can stretch and grab your debit card before falling off of the bed.

The conflicting messages pushed by society don’t help all that much either. If you look up “Kondo method” or “decluttering my closet” on YouTube, the numbers of videos that come up is astounding. Pages and pages of sweaty-faced, smiling YouTubers monetizing from this kind of faux “minimalism” only to post haul videos a few days later because “I threw everything out and now I have to rebuild from scratch sksksk!”. Does this not just perpetuate a cycle of buying and throwing and buying? I am....confusion, to say the least. Still I watch them, because I’m a hypocrite, and am also easily amused.

I will be the first to admit I have always had a very unhealthy relationship with money, with self-image, and with measuring my self-worth in proximity with “stuff that stems from a complicated relationship with physical self. Follow along:

Growing up, I was a fat kid. We don’t even have to sugar coat it. Think Terrio, but better eyebrows and more hair. Except I was not killin’ em, just myself. I always envied my friends who were able to go shopping at regular stores – read: Hollister, Abercrombie, Urban Outfitters (yes my friends were white), meanwhile I was condemned to shopping in the women’s department.

So, to compensate, I would buy trinkets – things like nail polish, lip gloss, journals, you get the point. My proximity to worthiness was measured not by the things that I bought, but within the act of buying. Growing up with parents who were also financially frugal also altered my relationship with money and blessed me with crippling buyers’ remorse after every purchase, even on things that are important (read: groceries).  

But as a kid, buying “stuff” was fun for me – it gave me some sort of purpose, and the acquisition of things (even if they weren’t the same things my peers had) made me feel like, to some extent, I could compete on the same playing field. As I got older, and I started to have real expenses, I moved towards second-hand shopping. I would religiously find myself at Goodwill on weekend, after school, or with friends. I could literally feel an endorphin rush when I would find something that I would consider a “good deal”, and it made me feel (again) purposeful, to be spending money, even if I didn’t need whatever I was buying.

I should also add that the people in my immediate family does not believe in thrift stores (“Why am I working for you to wear other people’s clothing?”, I remember my dad asking me one day), so the act of second-hand shopping was also my form of rebellion.

I began to amass a collection of clothing that would put Kylie’s closet to shame. I began buying things for events and situations that were yet to happen, for other people, for when I lose ten pounds. It was a madness.

In freshman year of university, I had an unhealthy relationship with clubbing clothes. Did I have the figure for clubbing clothes? Absolutely not. The funnier part is, I couldn’t even go clubbing because I wasn’t 19 at the time. And yet I had drawers and drawers full of the stuff. Not to mention that clubbing clothes is incredibly similar to summer clothing and living between Minnesota and Canada meant that these things were barely seeing the light of day.

The moral of this was – I could never figure out my relationship with stuff, This quarantine has forced me to try and break down the compulsion behind my behaviour.  I felt like I was spiralling the six weeks that they closed thrift stores, and I knew myself well enough to not try and online shop with the same kind of frequency as that. But the crazy part was, I didn’t die. I didn’t go into withdrawal (ok, I did a little bit, but whatever), and I was able to take the time to go through the things I already owned and find some hidden gems that were routinely buried in the cracks and crevices of my closet. It was like the episode of Family Guy when Peter realizes he has a vestigial twin – alarming and cool at first, but then it’s just alarming and annoying.

Its more embarrassing to realize that some semblance of myself image is tied to the frequency with which I am able to spend money. I would never say that participating in capitalist society gives me some kind of purpose as a black woman because God forbid. Also, considering that a lot of big names companies are actually racist and fatphobic as hell creates a whole new dimension for analyzing the power of my black dollar, sometimes creating another spiral of guilt leading to you guessed it – more spending.

As much as it seems like it, however, this self-reflection was not in vain. In the past month, I’ve cut down my closet from +200 pieces of clothing and shoes to about 40. If you ever want a fun, humbling activity this quarantine, just clean out your closet and be honest with yourself about how often you wear certain things. It was revolting to see the number of shirts, dresses, pants, skirts that I had bought and convinced myself wholeheartedly I was going to wear, only to pull them out of my closet months later with the tags attached *insert Marge Simpson covering her face meme*.

But at the end of the whole ordeal, it felt really good to look at my space and not feel burden or guilt. It was somewhat philanthropic realizing that not only will these clothes make someone else happier (I donated pretty much everything because it’s not always about money), but that my quality of life was not dramatically impacted in owning (or not owning) certain things. The past few weeks, I’ve spent more money on going out and sharing experiences with friends, but still nowhere near the same amount of money I would have spent buying clothes and other material possession.

Youtuber Kelly Stamps has a video on how minimalism “cured” her depression**, and the whole thesis boils down to the idea that owning less things gives you less to compare yourself too, thus making you happier (in a sense) and allowing you to focus the energy and time that would have been centered around maintaining and building your collection of possessions other things.

This still doesn’t break down the root of the issue, but it’s a start. I think when you have traits or patterns that you’ve participated in for so long, it becomes hard to step back and be objective enough to realize that you – yes, you – are part of the problem. I can blame my habits on a lot of things but at the end of the day, it’s important to realize that certain cycles seem never-ending because I actively choose to participate in these kinds of behaviours (accountability is sexy, huh?). While I’m not ready to face all my demons quite yet, it’s easier to do it with a nice wardrobe and a streamlined sense of mind.

Notes

*When I say black women, I mean ALL black women. Not some limited, cis-gendered, heteronormative view of what a woman is. Over here we ride for all those who identify as women.

**She emphasizes that she doesn’t actually means that it cured anything, but rather helped with her anxiety, and in turn, helped with her depression.

Links

That Family Guy Episode

The Kelly Stamps video

[ndragoon]

Seems like it's one of those nights.

I don't know. It feels like I need to get so much out of my head, but every time I try to put any of it into words it just ends up as some rambling word salad. None of it makes sense, or else it is just something I've probably said here a hundred times already.

I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I hate how I feel like I must have done something horribly, unspeakably awful to deserve a punishment like this.

My brain doesn't work. I can't think, I can't remember, sometimes I just can't think anymore and my brain needs to do a full reset before it can start doing anything again. Typing, speaking, walking, you name it. I'll just stop in the middle, stare off into space, and then need to take a moment to reorient myself and hope that I can find out what I was saying or doing so I don't look like a massive idiot.

My thoughts feel like a bunch of clashing gears all struggling to keep the mechanism going. Sometimes they manage to coordinate enough to get something done, but it feels more like sheer coincidence rather than actual intention. It feels like if I can't do something on mindless autopilot, then it requires 150% of my maximum brainpower while I can only run at a strict maximum of 40%.

Memories, but especially names, escape me. Not just people names, but names of objects, places, and whatever else. I need to describe them or their use. It's difficult to talk to people about my special interests without making a complete fool of myself, because I can tell you the underlying mechanics and storyline, but then I have to describe items, cards, gems, weapons, characters, places, you name it. It makes me feel like a failure because others with special interests can tell you every single detail of every single thing using all the names and they can just recite them like an actor would for a play.

I need to stress the memory part more because I used to practically have an eidetic memory for some things, like how I could draw maps of places after only being there once (assuming it wasn't some kind of sprawling complex where every single room and hallway and nearly identical). Now, it's just a fog or a haze and I can only remember things roughly at best for places I've been multiple times.

It feels like having gripes about my appearance are so...superficial? Shallow? It feels like I'm supposed to like myself and every bit of my exterior unconditionally, and wishing anything was different is just something that people who only care about their appearance are supposed to do.

I don't mind my gut, surprisingly. It's smooth and round and doesn't have all the folds and rolls that some lighter but bigger people have that I dislike the look of.

I do dislike how thin and sparse my body hair is. I do have some traces on my thighs, belly, forearms, underarms, and my pubes - though they are all so thin and sparse you have to actually look for it because it barely counts as hair. I do have a single tuft in the middle of my chest, though, for whatever reason. It's the thickest, darkest patch of hair anywhere.

The only traces of facial hair I have is a thin line of hair on my upper lip, 5 tiny and short hairs right below the middle of my bottom lip, and a bunch of thick, wiry, and obvious hairs on the area between my chin and neck. It's a patch the size of my palm and stays consistent.

One of the things I envy about most other overweight men is the fact that their penis is external all the time. Even flaccid, it just dangles there for all to see or to play with. Meanwhile, even when I'm hard mine stays hidden. It was small from birth, stayed small through puberty, and got even smaller for whatever reason since then.

I hate saying anything about it because just mentioning it comes across as your typical "shallow male complaint" of "I wish my dick was bigger, 7 inches is too small". But I can't top because of it, and nobody wants to touch it because they all expect something much larger.

Recently, I've been dealing with one of those infamous anal fissures. They are so dang painful and perpetually bleed so much. It just adds to the strictures (basically scar tissue on the sphincter) my doctor said I had, and looking them up just told me that I basically either take a few years to manually stretch things out to get at least some stretchiness back, or forsake doing things back there entirely. I'm more inclined to just forsaking things entirely since just going to the bathroom after taking my meds for a few days was enough to cause a tear.

And this part is less shallow.

I was doing some thinking, because even though it is difficult to recognize and point things out as they happen, sometimes you can realize it after the fact. My exhaustion and easy fatigue have been around for a while. Putting it lightly, of course. I had realized I showed signs for years now, albeit nowhere near as bad as now.

Giving a bj to my fourth ex, G, was difficult because even though I greatly enjoyed it, my jaw started to hurt and ache so incredibly quickly. We chalked it up to inexperience and I tried to practice, but never got another chance to try with him. When I got to my eighth, J, I was having the same issues. Except I also had issues with my hands, where my arms would ache and become incredibly weak to the point of uselessness before I could get him to climax. No matter how many times I tried, I never got or felt any better and it was a point of frustration to him. Even though he never reciprocated (except for once, but that was a nightmare) I don't blame him for feeling that way, I'm frustrated with myself because I get that way just taking care of my own thing. Plus, even just eating is enough to make my jaw ache and feel swollen anymore.

And another thing is the whole vacation bit I mentioned in another post. When I was working, I always thought that it felt like I'd go to sleep at the end of the day, and instead of being fully rested my batter would only be at 99%. And then the next day it would only be at 98%. It wasn't always a literal day between, but that's how it felt. Taking a week long break didn't make me feel any better, I felt like I was at a permanent 75% regardless of how much sleep I got during that week. Even talking to a buddy, he told me that staying awake for two days and then sleeping at a normal time makes you feel like a god, but it just made me feel even more tired and worn out.

But now, I feel like I'm at a permanent 25%. All it takes is anything more than just one quick trip to the local small store to wipe me out for the whole day. If I spend a day with friends (don't bark at me, only two of them work, one is tested almost daily and the other refuses contact because of the high risk of their job, the rest stay at home all day) then I come home feeling like I just ran a marathon and need to sleep. Taking a walk around the grocery store takes me out for the rest of the day.

And I just...I don't know. None of the docs are willing to cooperate because I don't spend an hour a day exercising, because I have this junk food diet that they assigned me upon first sight, because I'm not working.

I'm socially dead because I'm not working. Every time I talk to someone, it's about where I'm working, what job I moved to, what I'm doing now that I'm not still stocking shelves. If I say my health declined and I'm trying for disability, they always just give me this look like I'm just one of those lazy kids who want to work the system and that's that.

My head is just so cloudy and it's getting difficult to think. So I think I'm done writing and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting this. It's already a massive essay that nobody reads, but at least I have a written record, albeit anonymously, of how things went down so at least someone can see my body when it fails someday and know my history and what I went through up to this point. I don't want it to be a huge mystery to everyone just because my family discounts how I feel and try to pretend nothing is wrong.

[hisokas-long-toenails]

HELLO✨✨ I hope this finds you well! If you’re doing requests atm, I wanted to ask: how would Hisoka, Illumi, Chrollo and Paristan react to their crush or interest trying to woo them first? Like the whole wine and dine thing, odd attempts at flirting or something? However you would woo them lmao is this a weird ask?!?! 😩 Please don’t answer if you don’t want to!! Thank you 💗🌚 I absolutely adore everything you’ve written 👀👌🏼

Sorry this took forever, I’ve been trying to hit the gym after work again.  Aaaah, thank you so much. And thank you for including my beloved rat man. I assume you mean like “they already sort of like you, but how would one even TRY to woo them first in that context” First of all, as much as I love all of these characters, I feel so bad for you if any of these dudes had a crush on you. I don’t know what you did in life to deserve this misery but here we go. Hisoka: You know, there’s the obvious, “hey, wanna fight” but honestly he might/will probably end up killing you if that’s how you flirt. Then again, wanting to date Hisoka is basically admitting to having a death wish, in which case good job! You did it! But to like, date him date him? That’s tough. It’d probably have to involve inviting him to join you on some mission or adventure thats dangerous and promises a good time. Maybe it’ll involve a strong individual for him to fight, but we know it doesn’t have to. He did play a game of high stakes dodgeball just for the hell of it because he was bored and had time to kill. And you know what? He’d love being pursued. He might make it hard for you for the hell of it, but he doesn’t seem to have a lot of people on his side for very obvious reasons, and having a crush who just pops in sometimes with a “hey, wanna fuck some shit up? But like, romantically. As a date” would be a welcome presence to him. Illumi WILL 3rd wheel, and you WILL have to deal with/enjoy it because you’re in a triad now. You don’t have a say in it. It’s what Hisoka would want. Illumi:  Okay, so Illumi is odd, right? If he had a crush on you I feel like he’d just… show up and be around when he was free. He probably wouldn’t even know why he was doing it. I’m not sure he’d initially even realize you were trying to woo him regardless of how you were doing it, if we’re being honest. I don’t think he really has an idea of what love or affection look like, hence the tendency to sort of loiter around you when not busy instead of flirting with you or trying to date. Because of this, I actually feel like you’d have to make the first move. This is all on you unless his parents were trying to arrange it. So, you’d ask him to dinner. He’d think it was just dinner. You’d ask him to go kill or fight someone. He’d think it was just work. You’d flirt and try to make physical contact with him to make your intentions clear and he’d wonder why you kept touching his arm (and get mad if you’re accidentally tickling him). You’d probably have to literally say “hey, I want you to help me train so that we know I’m a suitable romantic partner for you” and then I think he’d get it, and immediate start your torture training because he’s been meaning to tell you that your pain tolerance isn’t enough. I don’t think there’d be a true romancing stage to dating him, just a work partner or a romantic partner.  He’d be elated, though, but have that same expressionless face that you’ll have to live with. Maybe you’ll get a very brief smile and I’m so sorry if you do because he’s terrifying when he expresses emotions on his face with those big dead empty ass eyes. Sometimes Hisoka will be there but probably less than Illumi would be there in the opposite situation. Hell, Hisoka might play a big part in helping you two get together. Who knows Illumi better? 

Chrollo: You know, I actually think he’d be the easiest to try to woo. He’s clearly got some identity issues and sort of uses others to find and define himself. If he was already finding himself infatuated with you, you just have to try to give him a sense of purpose or help him question life. He’d probably like and understand the romantic intent behind dinner and a movie. He’d enjoying normal dating stuff way more than any of the others, even if I think his way of flirting back would be very different and probably involve a lot of weird stolen shit he likes. It’s as if he’s a crow or a magpie or something. But the way to actually flirt with him? Just talk about philosophy. It doesn’t even have to be that deep. Do you remember being a teen or young adult and desperately wanting to figure yourself, filling the void you felt with objects, and massively consuming ANYTHING about the meaning of life in an attempt to finding yourself.  (no? Just me?) Well, that’s just his permanent state. The troupe gives him a lot of purpose but that’s still something he needs to constantly feed off of. You can throw out some quote about life from a book you’re reading (because being well read is sort of a requirement to get into his heart romantically, I think) and he’ll just fucking swoon. Read a YA novel, because I doubt those are on his “to read” list, and say some John Green ass shit about being alive and in love and he’s instantly going to be putty because that’s so far out of the realm of what he reads in literature. And yeah, he’d love the attention. 

Pariston: Only partially related, but I sort of have this HC that Pariston could actually become (at least temporarily) infatuated with someone if they kept catching him off guard with self deprecating humor and actually enjoyed being roasted. Like, You’d get a backhanded compliment from him so you meet the insult with a laugh and saying something worse about yourself all while seeming completely unphased. I’m sure most hunters have some sort of ego and the lack of one might be a surprising and fun change. ANYWAY. I’m not sure Pariston would actually let someone pursue him. You might think that you’re going to wine and dine him, but he’s just pretending to play along. Dude has some control issues, to the point where even when he doesn’t care about something he’s going to mess with shit to see if he can. Add that into him actually kind of caring for you? Yikes. He’d like nice things, but if you tried to take him to a 5 star restaurant that he isn’t feeling that night, something bad will happen and you’ll end up where he wants to go. If he doesn’t like your attempt at a classy or sexy outfit that outfit will get ruined. He’d probably turn the whole thing around to look like prince charming by getting you something twice as nice, but he’ll probably also hold it over your head that he did so. He’d probably love the fact that someone was trying, though. Which obviously means he’d also be trying extra hard to make the whole thing bad, but quite frankly that’s just what you’re signing up for. You’d probably have to catch on to him and start playing his game to keep him interested, or at the very least react in ways he enjoys, or be interesting for other reasons than your ability to manipulate situations. If you somehow managed to get him on a date to some kinda cheesy themed restaurant (think rainforest cafe) he’ll be impressed and infuriated. He’d be plotting how to ruin the rest of your week, which would conveniently require him to spend all of his time with you and him giving you a lot of attention. You know, for a punishment.  

[fundieofatime]

I’m a parent of two kids and I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave such a little baby without their primary attachment figures for so long. Babies don’t have object constancy and it’s honestly not natural in terms of breastfeeding and attachment to be separated from at least the mom at that age. I think Carlin and Evan are shitty parents. They didn’t even mention Layla or if she was okay in their covid post - it was all about them. They’re incredibly self-centered.

I assume both of these are from the same person.

On anon 🙄 because of course lol

I want to start by saying I really hate to defend these two idiots. I dislike them both. They're a part of a cult and they actively want certain demographics of humans to just not exist.

So here is the thing. We see a small snapshot of their lives. We see only what they put out. They ARE shitty for other reasons, but keeping their baby out of the way of Covid doesn't make them shitty. Their beliefs make them shitty. I do happen to think that they are terrible humans, but I base that off the absolute crap ton of other shit they give me go off.

Your logic, to say they're shitty parents based on then leaving her with a trusted family member, feels flawed. Do you feel this way about parents who leave their young ones to go to a new country to support their children better? Parents who have addiction issues or are in rehab, or jail? Parents who work jobs that require their often as young as six week old children to be in daycare/homecare all day and often with a sitter before and after daycare hours? Just think on that.

Their COVID post was all about then because they HAD Covid. As far as I'm aware, Laila didn't. Had they kept her with them and she caught Covid they'd catch shit for that too (rightfully that's just irresponsible) and I'm not going to shame then for making a very difficult but correct choice. The kid has something wrong with her heart for fucks sakes. That to me feels like they are thinking about what's best for her in this instance.

"Object constancy" no. It's called "Object permanence" and it comes into play between 4-7 months, sometimes as early as three. Piaget's work is considered outdated nowadays 🤷

Let's not talk about "natural" ok? Not everyone chooses or is able to breastfeed. A well fed baby and a supported mom and dad are best practice. Doesn't matter how the baby gets fed. Breast, bottle, pumping, formula, whatever. Do you think Joy and Jill's kids are less natural because they came via c-section?

And you are very much implying that I'm a shitty parent. I don't really care, I literally got yelled at by a wire dude last week because I let my kid crawl on the grass and "pEoPlE sPiT tHErE".

Self centered people have kids all the time. It looks like the parent who picks their kid up at daycare and ignores their child. The parent who leaves their kid in a hot care. The parent who shames other people for not making the same choices they would make. The parent who disowns their child for not being exactly what the parent wanted.

And honestly, someday Carlin and Evan (or any of the fundies) might have a child who is LGBTQAI2, or marries a person of another race or has sex before marriage or makes a choice that is not what their parent wants from them, and they'll possibly disown them. Or worse. And that'll be the shittiest thing.

Signed, A Shitty Mom™️

***********an essential worker who, if I lived in America, would have had to send my child at five months to live with my parents two hours away from because I am an essential worker and Covid hit my place of work (but I live in Canada and acknowledge I am privileged enough to have a full year off.

[nuttyrabbit]

So it’s been a while since I posted Gambit’s bio, and I think it’s about time I started posting bios for my other characters, don’t you? 

This is Frost the Snow Leopard, and next to Gambit, he’s the character I’m the most proud of out of all the characters I’ve made. He’s also the one I’ve put the most amount of work into when taking into account both the character and everything surrounding him.

But this wasn’t something I did on my own.  Huge, HUGE shoutouts to my best friend @pidgeonspen who not only helped make Frost’s initial design, but also did his redesign, did this entire beautiful ref sheet, helped me figure out a lot of character stuff and of course, helped me with the bio. 

Speaking of the bio, let’s get right into it! Everything is below the readmore 

Age: 30

Occupation: Self-proclaimed Emperor of Osakiru 

Personality: Cold, calculating, driven and authoritative - these are but some of the  words that can describe Frost. 

His immaculate ability to inspire both the best and the worst in those around him is drawn from his ambition, his driving ideals of both strength and self, and his sheer intensity.  He is a skilled manipulator, able to easily influence those around him into fighting for his cause using a his natural inclinations towards both strategy and diplomacy.  Frost is a very pragmatic individual, often making decisions based off of what he feels is objectively the “best” for both his country and himself.  He is not someone who angers quickly, nor is he someone who will resort to violence unless he deems it necessary. However, if he feels he needs to, he will use the threat of violence to get his subordinates in line, and more often than not, he will use both fear and violence to subjugate those that dare to resist, justifying it under the guise of a “greater good”

He also possesses a keen insight which allows him to quickly and easily derive information about people, places, and situations that he then uses to his advantage. 

Skills: As his name implies, Frost can control ice; he employs his power both offensively and defensively, and to great effect. However, this power does not come freely. The sheer cold he produces takes quite an extensive toll on his body, and  using it for too long can have detrimental - possibly even permanent- effects on his body. because of this , Frost has had to spend most of his life learning to control this power, with him only recently having found a way to do so. While he can now control his power without actively concentrating on it, it still poses a huge risk to him. As a result,  in combat Frost  only uses his powers when he absolutely needs to, instead usually falling back on both his swordsmanship and hand to hand combat skills instead.  Since he has had little to no formal training in either, he’s instead self-taught,  spending hours upon hours studying and training himself, with the end result  being a fighting style he can truly call his own.  When it comes to his swordsmanship, his focus is primarily on quick, precise sword slashes  that dispatch foes quickly . His hand-to-hand style is one that is  heavily counter-focused , taking advantage of  openings with hard-hitting, precise strikes.  When he is forced to use his powers however, he usually channels them through his katana, minimizing the toll his powers take on  his body, and boosting the power and range of his strikes

Hobbies: Training is Frost’s main hobby, and one he takes very seriously. Reading- While Frost places great value on the importance of honing ones’ physical strength, he places just as much importance on the strengthening of ones’ mind, and as such, he is an avid reader. If he is not in his personal dojo, he can often be found in his study, perusing the many books he has acquired via his conquest or otherwise.   While he occasionally dips his toes into the realm of fiction, his preferences lie in the realms of history and philosophy, both spritual and practical.  Mental challenges-  In the same vein as his love of reading, Frost has recently taken to occasionally indulging in mental exercises in an attempt to truly stimulate his mind.  Games such as Sudoku, Shogi, and even Risk are ones he not only enjoys on the rare occasion he gets to play them, but ones he is also extremely good at, since they play to his strengths.  Meditation-  This is less so a hobby and moreso a problem solving technique Frost has found useful.  Whenever he needs to figure out the solution to a complicated issue, he will often sit in silent meditation  to clear his mind so he can come to what he feels is the perfect solution.  

Likes: The pursuit of strength, seafood (In particular lobster and salmon), reading, comfortable silence, mental exercises/problem solving of any kind, clothing (Suits and jackets in particular. He gets them custom made), order/control,  sake, and hot baths/saunas (he finds them relaxing)

Dislikes: Disorder, insubordination, cowardice, excessive heat, “talking heads” shows,   sweet foods and drinks, and excessive noise (He can handle it he just dislikes it) 

Flaws: Frost’s cold, calculating worldview ultimately leads him to see people less as individuals to be treated with respect and more as tools to be used to reach whatever ends he desires.  While Frost is an excellent strategist, his plans tend to be rather complex in both scope and execution, requiring many moving parts to work in tandem. As a result, his plans can fall apart if exposed to an overly chaotic element, albeit there is usually a slight margin of error there anyways.

Backstory:  From the very start, Frost’s life was marked by constant struggle, in part due to his powers. When his gelid powers began to manifest in his early childhood, Frost needed help to survive - his powers would begin freezing him to death lest his body temperature was regulated. As he lived in poverty, the most viable option came in the form of quite literally boiling water for baths at regular intervals in an attempt to keep him from freezing himself over.  Unfortunately, these powers  had a tendency to attract attention - something his family truly didn’t need nor want, living in squalor among one of the most crime-ridden parts of the country. 

      Frost’s father himself was a low-ranking thug in the local yakuza, while his mother stayed at home, looking after Frost – and over her shoulder constantly.  Frost’s parents demanded Frost “keep [his] head down and don’t draw attention.”; and for a long time, he did just that. But try as he might to “blend into the background” as his parents wanted, his inability to control his power continually drew attention to him, often leaving him ostracized and sometimes even harassed by his peers. Even his older brother was of no use, instead content to follow in his father’s footsteps and pretend all was well, also desperate not to make a “fuss” as it were, the few times he stood up for the young leopard ultimately making little difference..

      Alone, living in absolute filth, burdened with powers he could not control, the young Frost was miserable, and he constantly hoped and prayed that things would change, that he wouldn’t have to live like this, that things would just somehow get better. But those prayers would never be answered, and for a long time it seemed like there was no way out for Frost–until he found it.  One day, while enduring yet another round of harassment from his peers, something in Frost just *snapped*. For the first time in his life, he truly unleashed his power and froze his tormentors solid.  The incident quickly drew unwanted attention, resulting in his father pulling him out of the school to prevent any further mishaps, desperately hoping things would blow over and return to normal.  But they never would, for Frost had learned a very valuable lesson: the power of fear.  

       The faces of those around him - frozen in fear, their hands trembling, their jaws slackened - desperately backing away from him, in what seemed like pure terror, told him everything he needed to know.  But perhaps almost as telling was his father’s solution to this issue;  instead of trying to figure out how things had gotten to this point, he had simply chosen to keep quiet, too worried about “making a fuss”, perfectly content to let things go on as they always did. And when Frost had finally snapped after years of torment, his father’s solution was to simply hide him away, trying to wait for things to go back to normal.   In fact, when Frost thought about it,  that is what everyone else had done all this time. They were content to simply let things go on as they always had, too worried about causing a fuss or shaking up the “status quo”, too concerned with saving themselves above all else . That is when Frost realized something: if he truly wanted to improve his situation, he would have to be the one to do it; him and no one else.

     Yet despite these revelations, Frost was still very much at a loss as to what to do: He knew that he was the only person who could improve his situation, but he was still at a loss as to the how. He knew fear would be an effective tool in reaching those ends, but he was still at a loss as to what those ends even were, much less how he would even use it effectively.  But as fate would have it, he would not find his answers in the present, but the past.  Stuck in his own home with no recourse, Frost stumbled upon a dusty, nearly tattered book on his father’s bookshelf.   The book itself told the tales of great kings and empires gone by, of men turned myth, who were respected, beloved, and most of all, *feared*.  But that alone was not enough to give Frost the direction he needed. It was only when he began to pay attention to the news, to the state of his country, that it all came together. It struck him with a revelation: it wasn’t just his parents or his teachers or the adults around him that were complacent and fearful of change, it was the entire country. The entire country was just as stagnant, squalid, and content to lie in its own filth as the small corner he was forced to call home.  Those in power - the formal Osakiran government, and the Yakuza syndicates that held the leash, were far too weak, too complacent with their comfortable lives to bring the change the country needed. It brought to mind those emperors of old Frost had read about; men who rose to power, uplifting and uniting their people all the while. Not like the privileged cowards who ruled now… and that’s when Frost realized what it would take to salvage both himself and  Osakiru, what separated the historical rulers from the present: strength.  Osakiru would need someone who was truly strong not just in body, but mind and will as well.  And it was then that Frost realized that he and only he could become that man.  He would have to dispose the feeble cowards and take their place at the top, not just for himself, but everyone else.

       Frost knew what he had to do now, and he was already training both his mind and body in preparation for the task to come. All he needed was an opportunity, and one such opportunity would soon make itself known.  One day, the syndicate Frost’s father had spent his life working for finally came for him, punishing him for one mistake too many, dumping his fetid corpse onto the street for all to see. All, including Frost and what was left of his family.  His brother, seeing the very clear writing on the wall, decided to flee the country, attempting to take both Frost and his mother with him to safety. But despite the pleading of both his mother and brother, calling his actions “suicide”, Frost would not flee. He knew what he had to do, the image of his father’s corpse only cementing into his mind his mission.  And so they fled, leaving Frost alone, and it was then that Frost, not even an adult yet at the age of 17, pledged himself into the service of the very syndicate that had taken his father’s life, seeing the path to the top through them

      Frost began his climb to the top then and there. Despite the many mistakes he made in those formative years, which  showed themselves through bruises, scars, and even a missing finger, Frost pressed on, pushing himself to become the *best*. He trained his body, his mind, his *will* to the point where he could not take any more, yet he kept going, pushing himself to greater and greater heights, modeling himself after the very rulers he had read about all those years ago, all in an effort to be the very image of strength he knew he had to be. His efforts  would not go unnoticed, and within a few years, Frost found himself to be the 2nd in command of the entire syndicate.  But this was not enough, and Frost knew this, and soon enough he struck down the patriarch, and took the entire syndicate for himself, as well as the thing that would come to be Frost’s trademark: his katana.  Though it was merely a talking piece hung on the wall of the patriarch’s office, Frost would make the blade his own, a true extension of himself in every sense of the word.

       From here on, Frost would truly begin his conquest of Osakiru and one by one, the other yakuza syndicates fell to Frost, surrendering their power, their influence, and most of all, their resources.  As Frost’s reach grew, so did his numbers, whether it be through assimilating the other syndicates or people joining his ranks of their own volition. Four individuals in particular, all of whom Frost saw untapped potential in and who saw in Frost the key to their own salvation, would come to make up his inner circle, soon to be known as the Black Lotus.

      Eventually, the last of the syndicates fell to Frost’s forces. Now, all that was left to do was to overthrow the formal government. At this point, they knew that  Frost was on his way, and that it was too late to stop him; they were outmatched, outplayed, and ultimately overwhelmed.  When his icy blade ripped through the Prime Minister’s chest, spilling crimson onto the steps of Osakiru’s Capitol Building, it marked the final, bloody conclusion of Frost’s 11 year conquest.  No longer would Osakiru be ruled by yakuza thugs or ineffectual Prime Ministers.  Now it would be ruled by an *emperor*, one who would bring Osakiru into a new golden age.

       Despite the success of his initial conquest, Frost knew the real work had only just begun; there was no time for celebration, and he quickly got to work imposing his will unto the country. He cleaned the streets,  both figuratively and literally, reorganizing the pathetic OSDF into a true army, and created a new police force to unflinchingly carry out his will and being the emperor’s eyes and ears. He knew that in order to secure his vision, sacrifices would have to be made, and so he quickly consolidated all of Osakiru’s media under a single banner in a bid to suppress any thought of rebellion, and to push his ideology onto the people. Schools suffered the same, their curriculum changed to emphasize nationalistic pride and personal achievement. Every able-bodied adult was put to work under his rule, for the betterment of economy and to aid in building his ideal nation.  Among the first orders of business was renovating the decrepit palace to fit Frost’s vision, a symbol of his immense power and of the dynasties he sought to emulate. He made sure that no matter where you were in Osakiru, his presence was *felt*.  He became at once the most beloved figure in all of Osakiru and the one everyone feared the most.  

         Two years later, and Frost continues to rule Osakiru with an iron fist, still seeking new ways to develop and strengthen both his country and himself. One of his latest approaches involves seeking new, diplomatic relationships with powerful allies, such as the Kingdom of Acorn and G.U.N., hoping for both an economic partnership and one to strengthen defenses against the likes of Dr. Eggman - the one factor that keeps Frost from expanding Osakiru’s territory. With his sights set southward to Osakiru’s historical rival, Chun-nan, Frost knows it’s simply a matter of time. Eventually, the opportunity will rise, and Frost happens to be a very patient man.