#i think some important context you should also have is that I wrote/outlined most of IYGABAB over the summer

[imustbenuts]

Reading of Fire Emblem Awakening with a Buddhist lens and the context of the 'sacrifice mc' ending

Preface: Writen by a person who is a massive nerd living in South East Asia. Not a practicing Buddhist but grew up on the fringes of its local influence. Most points here are copy pasted and heavily edited from a prev post I wrote in reply to felikatze's post about Brave Robin some time ago.

EN: Fire Emblem Awakening

JP: ファイアーエムブレム 覚醒

Awakening is a pretty important word when it comes to religion and spirituality, but specifically when put in the light of Buddhism, it takes on extra meaning. Kakusei 覚醒 in JP language has a heavier emphasis on Enlightenment than just waking up after an alarm bell rings.

In this entry, the word Awakening isn't thrown into the title in reference to Robin awakening to the fell dragon; it's a bad end if followed straight anyway. Trying to read it with a non-buddhist lens will often yield the confusion of why self-sacrifice would ever be justified, and in my experience many anglo speaking fans online have indeed express dislike of the sacrifice ending in Awakening.

Which is understandable. But! To the Japanese and many other Asian players, this overwhelmingly isn't the case. And the reason is I think: culture + Buddhism.

The flow of this post will go in this rough outline while I try to explain it from a more Buddhist pov. Sorry if it's messy :(

Buddhism 101 Crash Course (orange so if you wanna skip it feel free)

Original Timeline Awakening

'Our' Shown Timeline Awakening

Ending

Ok. Let's begin

Crash Course on surface level Buddhism 101 (please please go read more on your own if interested, this is VERY surface):

The core idea of Buddhism is that everything is dynamic, fluid, and fluctuating. Never in perpetual stasis. In Buddhism cosmosology, there are different tiers of being ranging from low to high. The goal of Buddhsim is to break out of the cycle of death and rebirth (samsara), and enter into a state of peaceful non-existence (nirvana). Suffering and yearning is inevitable as a part of life, and is meant to be reduced as much as possible for both the individual and others. Causing more will cause the individual to stray further away from the goal of nirvana. Also, that everything in the world is deeply interconnected, and an action will affect things down the line.

And, the final condition of being able to nirvana is to essentially, let go of attachment.

Buddhism Cosmology 101 and FEverse:

So in Buddhism cosmology, there are tiers of beings. The higher one is in this existence tier, the closer one is to breaking out of the cycle. Humans are the baseline, and animals are the lower while supernatural beings are higher as a general rule of thumb. (theres exceptions to this like the hungry ghosts but not impt here for this post)

IN FEA, we have a few characters who are of a vague but present 'higher' tier. Naga, Tiki, Nowe, and Nah. And then there's Grima, the gigantic Fell Dragon. Though we can interpret these characters as different races of beings compared to humans, if we apply Buddhism cosmology, then these are 'higher' tier being. With Naga being one of the highest tier. In fact she functions exactly like a Buddha.

And still, despite being a higher being relative to humans, Grima isn't out of the cycle. In fact, Grima is locked into it. Contrast Naga where it feels like she could go at anytime but choose to stay behind.

Locked in the cycle and not allowed to change

Instead, Grima is bound to a blood pact with Forneus after being artificially created. No matter how its sliced, Grima is closer a tier to the divine dragons than humans and should technically be closer to nirvana, but no dice. In-lore, this supernatural aspect grants power to Forneus' bloodline and subsequently Validar and Robin, on top of binding them to the plane of the living. Grima gets back into existence over the 1000 years after their initial defeat to inflict incredible pain and devastation and gets sealed for it.

So, Grima isn't able to break out of samsara from a Buddhist pov, and each time they come back they're requested/demanded by the summoners to cause immense pain and destruction. As much as there might be manipulation on the Grimleals' side, it's equally possible its willing to on some degree on their side. Thus the cycle of suffering for both them and the world continues.

But there is one extra nuance here to the reincarnation idea in Buddhism: Buddhists prefer the term 're-becoming' or 'rebirth' rather than reincarnation. Its not exactly a re-inheritance of the same exact unchanging soul in a new body, but the passing on of a mind/consciousness which can be malleable. And since a mental state is a lot more fluid and changeable, it's much more preferred to the idea of a same-ish soul being passed on like a hot potato typical in western Catholic interpretation of the same concept. (eternal paradise or damnation being a big thing from what I understand, so it's a very one soul one life one chance kinda deal.) Subtle differences, but put a pin in this for now.

On the topic of memories

A reincarnated person isn't supposed to have their old memories... at least, at first, the orignal Robin seems to do. Now, while big Buddha himself had his past lives' memories, it was only after he mediated and gained enlightenmnet. If we follow this logic, it's likely something broke original timeline (OT) Robin in the opposite way, leading into a... let's just say false awakening. This leads into the first timeline where Robin, retaining all their current life's memories and told their identity was Grima and not allowed to basically begin anew, destroys the world with a zombie apocalypse. In this timeline, Robin awakens, but not to a cool gucci love and peace Buddha enlightenment. Rather, the cynical, nihilistic all things should die and shut up kind.

In normal reincarnation situation, the reborn person is allowed to begin anew. There is a Buddhist hell which fucntions as a means to cleanse one of their bad karma, and so there is a strong emphasis on this. Grima is being shackled to 1 identity imo, and it sucks a bit.

Semi HC territory with this lens too: It's very likely that despair at various point was exploited for this to happen by their worshippers. Bc what better way to than to cut off a person from the rest of the world, from people, and create a situation where the victim has no one to lean on? Exactly like how baby Grima was cut off like in FE:Shadows of Valentia in that sealed off tower known as Thebes Labyrinth. Ofc, this is pure independence at the worst, and also very textbook cultist stuff.

(Side note: remembering past lives isn't really a loud thing in Buddhist practice, I think. It's sort of egotistical to claim oneself as so-and-so, going against some teachings and practice of it since it makes the claimer seem egotistical and arrogant, and thus it's just... bad form to do so. Also its more often than not used as a tactic to scam/manipulate people >_>. )

So, original timeline was played straight to the title: Fire Emblem Awakening. False Awakening. (I hope I'm making sense so far. x_x;;)

Fire Emblem Awakening's original timeline is true to its title and a bleak world.

This Awakening is just. Wrong. Remember that I mention interdependence being a big part of the core religion's philosophy? Grima shuns this by ignoring bonds and killing all those they might be friends with otherwise. Despite the constant preaching of Buddhism to be peaceful and do good things, Grima kind of murders and kills and is everything associated with darkness and death. Rather than lessen suffering, Grima causes more and takes away others' ability to walk their own path in their goal of total destruction.

Grima also does not even come close to understanding the world and interconnectedness. Thus, Grima with their actions here is doomed to be perpetually trapped in a never-ending spiral of life and death.

Amnesia zap!

So, stuff happens, Lucina takes on the world and breaks into another timeline. Grima follows, causing alternate (our) Robin to get the big amnesia zap. To do over, basically, to let go of the past and redo it from a clean slate devoid of prior biases and judgement.

In effect, this is as good as being reborn from the Buddhist pov. Remember when I mention not remembering the past life at least in the beginning? And that the mind is fluid?

Later in the game, amnesia'd Robin meets OT Robin/Grima, and it gets. Interesting. The both of them seems to be disturbed by each other. If we follow the logic that these are the same person, then the schism, I think, is rooted very much in their lived experiences and thus take-away of their understanding of their own world.

This characterization further continues into Fire Emblem Heroes. They trigger each others' panic response. It's the maximum uncanny valley feeling, I think, bc it's like looking at a doppelganger: the exact same in appearance, but slightly ever so different in personality, in experience, in belief. To the point that its not exactly them, even though it should be.

At their meeting in FEA, Our Robin the Avatar the MC has already grown close to Chrom and friends. Our Robin understands bonds and their place in the world and finds love and acceptance and a place for themself beside Chrom, and in Ylisse.

This Robin understands the concept of love and interconnectedness. Grima/OT Robin, however, continues to shun it all to the end.

Conditions ok in the new timeline. Let go, Yes/No?

...So in the timeline we're familiar with, what is the Awakening referring to?

If we go by how one is supposed to attain enlightenment in Buddhism, it's by gaining an insight to how the world works, how everything is connected, and letting go of cravings/yearnings. While I think there's possibly a bunch of ways to interpret this in FEA, there is a very simple one.

The easiest interpretation would be that Robin understood their role in the world to be a vessel/reincarnation of Grima, and that it isn't the correct way because bonds are too important, and that no matter how difficult it must be, a worse future must be prevented no matter the cost. Bc they have come to adore their friends and the family of said friends and their future.

And to that future, possibly even the world in which they reside.

Grima however, stands against this. Grima's existence means the future for their friends, possible spouse and children, and Chrom, cannot live. What Grima stands for is annihilation.

There is a way to remove Grima permanently, but that comes at a cost, and that cost is them. Choosing this is to know that Grima as Grima was known cannot be allowed to come into existence, and if they were Grima or even hold the potential, that chance needs to be non-existent. The Grima before them needs to be non-existent. Robin has to be non-existent. (Out of the samsara cycle as you could say hohoho)

The alternative would be to seal Grima away and then let the future deal with them again in 1000 years. To say that Robin is too attatched to their newfound love ones and cannot let go. And this might be more preferable to some.

But we're talking about a game with Awakening in the title made by a bunch of Japanese. And with a somewhat shared culture at least I and my friends here understand. And so, pretty much everyone around me in this part of the world overwhelmingly chose the mutual destruction option.

>Yes

In the sacrifice ending, they let go of their yearning to be with their friends, their possible spouse, their possible children, and Chrom. The world, essentially.

The key difference between Our Robin and the OT Robin is, Robin has hope for the world despite being cut off from his loved ones and knowing they might be in some afterlife hell where they might very well be alone. The emotions of hope and love is just so strong it's convinced Robin that death was worth facing.

This is the True Fire Emblem Awakening.

After the credits, Chrom finds Robin on the ground again, seemingly returned and now fully unchained to the identity of Grima. This is framed as a good thing, as reward for choosing the hard path. (Even tho technically Robin doesn't break out of samsara here but. It's a good job reward for the player I guess)

So when the game asks if you are willing to sacrifice your Robin, it is in effect asking if you the player are willing to accept letting go in hopes of change and the new. (at least in my pov)

And remember the pin? About the soul/mind being malleable?

Grima and Robin are direct contrasts. Line up the themes and they contrast in every way. Past vs Future, Despair vs Hope, Death vs Life. They can be interpreted as the same person or different depending, but it remains that they share the same soul despite being very different.

In effect, this is saying that yes, even indirectly, a complete irredeemable being who has commited so much attrocities it breaks the scale like Grima can change. Can be better. The conditions just has to be there.

Now, all of these is just a reading from a Buddhist pov. There's many many more takeaways and possible routes of extrapolation, so don't take this as me saying it's the only way to read FEA. It is not. It is sooo not there's a bunch of fans out there writnig their own analysis about it.

Also, the Buddhist narrative is not exclusive to FEA. It is in every FE games to some degree. I think FEA and Engage are some of the loudest and explicit. I've written more and complied them here if you are interested in checking out more of my word vomit.

Thanks for reading!

[socialjust-ish]

I reblogged this post, and @butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway responded. I think it's an interesting topic worth discussing, but butts has asked that we not fill up the OP's notes with giant discourse posts. I agree.

Here is a link to butt's response. Below the "read more" is my reply, because it is long and I am not going to ruin your dashboards.

Under what other fundraising circumstances have you asked people to perform their vetting in public for your approval (as opposed to the more traditionally accepted practice in community organizing of providing outlines that describe some but not all of your vetting procedures outside of the context of any specific call for funds)?

I generally work off the assumption that a fundraising post on Tumblr is a scam. Tumblr's search feature is not the best and I am even worse at tagging posts, so I don't have an easy way to search my blog.

But, on July 9th, I reblogged this post, about someone asking for help with a gofundme. I was, full dislcosure, in a sentimental mood and real sad. And the story got to me. So I reblogged it uncritically.

But here are the tags I made:

Maybe not the clearest indicator of "buyer beware" but the intent was for me to say "I believe these people, but you should do your own homework and be warned my belief is because I'm a sucker for a mom post."

Even with that context though, and with fully believing the post, I thought the responsible thing to do was warn anyone who saw the post that my reblog was unverified.

Because what you’re describing as “vetting” is, in fact, what I learned in my organizing work as “modeling vetting procedure for educational reasons” and includes getting the explicit consent of all involved to perform (in part due to the violative and invasive nature of most vetting techniques and approaches) the process in full via case study. This, notably, is not something that can ethically be done for anonymized public consumption, because literally no one would consent to their entire case study being made publicly available forever on the internet, and therefore cannot be ethically performed. Which is WHY the other, traditionally accepted, practice exists. To offer broad spectrum reassurances to an anonymized audience about the fact that vetting of fund calls is being performed, without unethically dumping a person’s entire life online during one of the most traumatic moments of their life.

So, first off, my wording may have been a bit poor, here.

I wrote that vetting is:

"Vetting is reviewing their information and disclosing what was reviewed and how it was validated."

What I should have said, for precision, was

"Vetting is when someone reviews the post's information. That person then discloses what type of material was reviewed (e.g., they spoke to them in person, they met over video chat, they have only spoken by text) but not necessarily the specific details of said material, and how it was validated (e.g., I met in person, I demonstrated it was a live feed, they had one witness with them, the photo includes a newspaper of today's date)."

So that's totally my bad. I shouldn't post on my phone.

My example of vetting was just that, an example. I wasn't suggesting that needed to be done for every case. I also probably shouldn't have added the last line about "here is the video for you to see."

But it's important to remember the context of these fundraisers: These people are already sharing their names, family members health conditions, and photographs of themselves online. It is not any more onerous or invasive for them to post a ~5 second video saying "Hey, it's me." These are non anonymized sources.

They're also, again, asking for five-figure sums of money. Some level of skepticism should be allowed and encouraged.

So I will ask again, being extremely clear about what I am asking and why.

First off, this is a snakry comment on my part, but this is not a clear question. It is 173 words long (113 if you end it at the first question mark), contains a few parenthetical tangents, and so many double negatives that I genuinely got a little bit lost. So, I'm going to break it down and answer as much of it as I can, but if you think me breaking it up loses context, feel free to advise.

In what other circumstances have you demanded the unethical revelation of private (and in mamy cases protected) information in order for you to personally verify the vetting process done by the person performing it,

Couple of points here.

As set out above, I believe my clarified definition of what "vetting" constitutes does not require the revelation of private information. It requires an authority figure stating "I have vetted this post, here's how."

If someone is posting a Gofundme online, and it is being "vetted" by a random blogger, the academic standards of ethics and protected information don't apply. You don't get to play the game of "This example of 'vetting' only works in an academic setting as an example" and simultaneously expect regulations and ethical standards used in the context of academia to apply. There is no "protected information" in the context of these fundraisers. These are anonymous people publicly asking for money from strangers. People considering providing funds can ask whatever questions they want to satisfy their respective level of skepticism.

I haven't ever demanded this information - even in my post above (because I gave an example of one method that vetting could include that disclosure =/= that's the only way to vet something) - because I don't typically donate to gofundme pages. But generally speaking, I demand this information for anything I do donate to. I once got scolded by a fundraising person on the street because I asked what portion of my donation would go directly to the charity, and what portion was a commission their contracting company received.

vs accepting their public conversations about tactic and technique (whatever else may be debateable about 90-ghost, it is NOT debateable that he has openly and publicly discussed his vetting process, even if he declines to publicize specific case studies, per ethical aid guidelines) as confirmation of process that you are within your rights to trust or not trust, but NOT within your rights to claim aren’t actually being done just because they are not being done for public consumption?

I did start my post by writing:

The entirety of the rest of them are just reblogs from 90-ghost. Of those reblogs, I think only two have 90-ghost saying anything, and all they say is "this is legit".

I'm not suggesting 90-ghost needs to publicly disclose the information of each family they supposedly vet. I was suggesting they need to do something other than tacitly reblog it.

I don't know who 90-ghost is. If you go to their page, their pinned post is a request for help for their personal fundraiser.

Their sidebar has two links, one to their twitter, one to their instagram. His Instagram post has two photos on it, one from 11 weeks ago, and one from 2014. His twitter appears to be more personal - sharing and reposting news about the war. A lot of it is not in English, and I'm a loser monoglot, so I don't know what is or isn't being said there.

But to the point: You cannot figure out how 90-ghost vets their posts easily. Despite your claim that it's "not debatable he has openly and publicly discussed his vetting process." It's actually pretty difficult to find. In fact, I can't actually find any posts of his explaining it. It might be easy if you follow him or are actively engaged with this community, but I'm not commenting on this because I follow him, or even OP. I'm commenting because I saw it on my dash.

Here's what I was trying to suggest was needed instead of these blank reblogs.

"Hi, I am 90-ghost. I have vetted this fundraiser. To learn what my vetting process constitutes, see this post [link to a post.]"

The silent reblog and the assumption it's vetted is what I take issue with, here.

If thus is NOT an ask you have made in other circumstances, can you explain to me what *specifically* about this set of circumstances means that the traditionally accepted public-facing vetting procedure discussion is inadequate,

Because charity scams, specifically charity scams related to Gaza, have exploded since October 7th. This is true of every natural disaster, according to Forbes.

and how this has NOT been present in other times when you have interacted with or spoken on the process and procedure of redistributing funds?

Two points here.

I don't typically interact or speak with the process of redistributing funds. I interact with what comes up on my blog. And so I click a link, and see that it's suspicious, and then look into it.

It wasn't until I started seeing posts about the Gaza fundraisers that I became aware of this issue with scam fundraisers. Don't worry, next time a hurricane hits, I'll be just as skeptical about those posts.

Additionally, and this is anecdotal, but you're asking what's different here, so this is the answer.

I reblogged this post on August 2nd. Within one hour of posting it, I had four asks in my inbox from "gazan Gofundmes". Prior to that ask, I had received a grand total of 0 gofundme posts in my inbox. That means one of two things:

Multiple people are watching every single reblog of their posts like a hawk, and critical or not, if a reblog was made, they then go and manually send an ask.

It's a bot network sending asks based on reblogs, like every other bot network on this site.

I deletedthose asks and so they're gone from my inbox, and I can't compare them to the verified list, but I reblogged one post and got four asks for others almost instantly. I assume it's pretty similar for everyone else who reblogs these fundraisers.

Even if they were legitimate, using a botnet to garner attention is... scam-like behaviour, if nothing else.

You have given zero evidence that any of these fundraisers are raising flags of illigitmacy, and are so far merely offering the possibility of illegitimacy and the protection of recipient private info fully in keeping with standard aid procedure ethical guidelines as enough to assume fraudulance.

Again, I'm criticizing the "vetting" done here, and people's apparent willingness to just trust a reblog as an endorsement of vetting. It is exceptionally easy to make hyperlinks on Tumblr. It is easy for 90-ghost or the spreadsheet to simply add a hyperlink saying "Vetting process is here."

The spreadsheet just says "this was researched by us."

What does that mean?

I understand that in the world of mutual-aid communities, you might have shorthand. But you need to understand that if you are trying to send a message to people who don't live in that world (like me) you need to provide some basic definitions and explanations of process.

All I've said (or at least, all I meant to say) in my post is "these "vetting posts" do not clearly explain how the post was vetted. That needs to be done, and people should think critically about why it isn't being done."

If you can, with a straight face, say "hey, silently reblogging a post and having to dig through that person's blog for pages and pages to find the post discussing how they vet things is a good system" then you and I live in different worlds.

That is….a wild speculation on your part that, by your demands, you are ill-equipped to actually validate or support on your own, which tells me you have (heaven forbid) decided to TRUST people in your sphere who tell you that you have cause to doubt these fundraisers,

I clicked a post uncritically reblogging a fundraiser, and went "Oh, these are vetted." I then followed the link to the supposed vetting, that they include, to find that it is a silent reblog from one person.

This was me, following the links on the post, to see how they vetted the post. And I was lead to that every time.

The post said "vetted here." The link it takes me to is not a vetting. It's a silent reblog. Even if we accept your standards for vetting (which I don't think are actually that far off what I consider vetting, I just worded it poorly) these posts don't do that. As I said in my first reblog - literally only two say ANYTHING, and it just says "this is legit."

That's barely any information at all. These people are asking for upwards of $50,000. If 90-ghost is trying to advocate for them, the least he can do is put in the 30 seconds of work to make the posts not look like scams. It's bad advocacy, if nothing else.

even though you yourself visibly lack the understanding of how that doubt should or even WOULD in aid work be put to rest.

Just to be clear, I fully accept the premise that if someone trusts 90-ghost, and 90 ghost says "I have vetted this post." then that's enough to justify donating.

What I'm saying is that a wordless reblog or "it's legit" is not proof of any of that happening. And if people from inside the community think that's convincing to the outside community, they are either naive, intentionally hoping people don't click the links to check, or some third reason.

If 90 ghost had a link at the top of the blog saying "Hey! Here is how I vet a post. If I reblog a post, it is a direct endorsement of this vetting procedure." I would be satisfied.

It's that they're operating on, apparently, an unorganized chain of faith that makes the "vetted HERE" links completely misleading. To figure out how 90-ghost vets posts, you have to dig through hundreds of their posts. To consider a quick hyperlink to a wordless reblog a valid source of vetting is unreasonable, in my view.

So my follow up question, once you’ve answered the earlier ones, is how are the conspiratorial accusations you are leveling here any different from the blind trust you are accusing others of having in things they don’t understand enough themselves?

I'm not entirely sure what the "conspiratorial accusations" here are, but I'm assuming it's my two bullet points re: What 90-ghost could be doing - this part:

There's no reason to trust 90-ghost just because they reblogged the post. How do you know 90-ghost isn't

A) In on the scam;

B) So (rightly) upset that this is happening that they don't care if some of these are scams on the off chance that even 1 is legit, and so are using their goodwill to "vet" posts.

If 90-ghost is doing a thorough vetting, that should be shared

If this is wrong and you're referring to something else, let me know

Again, this may come to me being imprecise in my language, so I apologize.

How I perhaps should have phrased this, is:

"A reblog alone is not enough to confirm a post is vetted. How do I know, from a silent reblog alone, that this post was vetted? If 90-ghost is vetting the posts, he should be sharing that by stating he has done so, and providing information on how he vets posts (again, not the specifics of the vetting for each individual, just a "here are the steps I take" post that is immediately visible and linked in any post he claims to have "vetted").

I don't think that's conspiratorial or unreasonable. I do think that, without that, it is reasonable to make those two assumptions. I don't know 90-ghost, because I don't follow this world closely. These posts are meant to be a "signal boost", so they're meant to go outside the usual circle of followers, right? So you have to assume those people won't know who 90-ghost or anyone else is. So if you want them to trust the process, that process should be explained clearly, consistently, and on each post or fundraiser. An empty reblog does not do this. And the fact that an empty reblog is used as the "vetting" post for every single post except two shows a pattern which is unusual and justifies skepticism.

How is your decision to trust the people undermining the credibility of online fundraisers without understanding enough about EITHER side’s points to convey them yourself with any actual evidentiary support (have you perhaps never actually SEEN the evidentiary support your trusted people claim is responsible for their perspective?) in any way different from the choice of people (knowing the risks) to donate to fundraisers that are being circulated by the Palestinian community and their allies?

Again, you are jumping to assumptions about what made me reblog this, or who I'm trusting. I saw the post, from someone I follow and respect, and saw that it had a bunch of links saying "vetted here." I followed the links, and there was no vetting, and no confirmation of vetting. That frustrated me, because when I read "vetted here" and "please give me money" I expect to be able to... verify the vetting before I consider giving money.

Perhaps they have reasons you have not seen (looked for?) to trust and make their own judgements.

Sure, but words have meaning. And a link that says "vetted here" implies that if you follow that link, you will be given information confirming a post is vetted. To come to the conclusion that "90-ghost reblogging a post = vetted" requires significant time and investment into the mutual aid community that is absolutely not apparent from the link. And so when all you link to are wordless reblogs that, justifiably, raises questions about how skeptical people should or shouldn't be.

Perhaps your condescension goes beyond questioning the capability of Palestinians to know how to organize aid calls and ensure effective distribution, and even extends into believing your fellow non-Palestinians are just too easily duped? Would be just as skeptical of you if they realized how much trust they were putting in another person?

Again, you are making a lot of assumptions from what I think is a pretty simple ask: Provide a clear and easily accessible link to how the vetting process occurs, and specific confirmation that a post was, in fact vetted. A silent reblog does neither of these.

Weird how YOU haven’t seemed to question your trust in the people who started this uptick in shaming of donation posts even though you clearly reference seeing posts that call that trust’s validity into question.

I saw one post, it's been linked above.

I don't actually think I reference any posts that call that trust's validity into question, here. The only thing I do reference is people "blindly" reblogging."

But that was based on the personal observation of someone I follow blindly reblogging the post.

Maybe the problem isn’t that people don’t know they’re choosing to trust someone, but that they have intentionally chosen to trust someone that you have chosen not to, and you cannot tolerate that someone might do that while thinking it was the right choice, because what does that say about YOUR choice if they think that?

Nope! Trust is fine and good.

I take issue with the misrepresentation that the links that say "vetted here" do not, in fact, vet the post.

That's my issue.

I understand donating to any individual fundraiser requires a network of trust, and don't particularly care what degree of trust anyone chooses to use or not use.

But uncritically reblogging a post with a dozen "vetted here" links, of which none actually provide any information on the vetting, is bad and silly.

I suppose saying it's suspicious is probably unfair. I try to follow the "never assume malice when stupidity would suffice" rule. But like... it's either malicious or stupid to think that's an adequate "vetting" - ESPECIALLY when trying to convince outsiders to the community to donate.

Again, imagine you are me: Someone not involved in this community. You have sympathy for Palestinians wanting to flee the country. A post comes across your dash which says "these fundraisers have been verified." You click the "vetted here" button. You are taken to a silent reblog of a post. You go, "okay, maybe this 90-ghost person is some sort of authority." You click to get to their home page. It has no links discussing how, why, or what criteria they use to vet posts. It also doesn't make it clear if a reblog is a "vetting" or just an endorsement. There are two posts in the list where 90-ghost says "this is legit." Why didn't he say that on the other ones? Are the other ones not legit? Has he only vetted the ones he explicitly says "These are legit"? If so, why do only two of these meet the criteria? What does 90-ghost do to vet these posts?

Do you see why that's an issue?

Or maybe you really do just think your fellow non-palestinians are too stupid to know that vetting processes are literally always about deciding who it is worth it to you to trust and making the most of a situation that can literally never be made asshole-proof?

Again, I understand this about vetting processes. My gripe is that a wordless reblog provides ZERO information to suggest anything has been done.

Feel free to just say that next time. It’ll be faster, and you’ll irritate fewer people in the process.

I think I've said it a few times, but just for total clarity:

If someone says they are vetting a fundraiser, they should set out:

Their methodology for doing so (again, not revealing the actual information they received, just what type of information they do receive);

A quick statement that confirms that specific post has been vetted so you can tell which posts are vetted, and which are sympathetic; and

Make access to the vetting process easily discoverable (e.g., a pinned post, a link in the reblog, etc.)

Failure to do these warrants skepticism, especially when the call for aid is meant to be broadcast outside of the community that already knows this information.

[noir-renard]

batburger AU is an absolute masterpiece, and I was wondering, if you don't mind sharing, what is your process like for coming up with these incredible plotlines? It's a skill I want to work on, and you, my friend. mmmmMMMMM

ougghhh thank you so much!! ❤️🥰🥰🥰This is a delightful and very flattering question, so I'll do my best to answer it.

I, like many writers, enjoy rotating things in my mind like a rotisserie chicken. (I say "enjoy", but I don't have much say in the matter. These thoughts be roasting and turning 24/7 Costco Style and I'm helplessly standing in front of the chicken rack, warming myself up with the oven heat because I got cold going into the giant refrigerator room to get some berries)(this is a metaphor but it also happens literally to me pretty often. Costco cold. Rotisserie chimken warm.)

Sometimes something good will result from this; sometimes during the more productive sessions of "rotate that thought like a tether ball", neat sentences will form from the ether in my brain.

IYGABAB, for example, was birthed from the randomly generated mind-typewriter paragraph: In a way, it was almost funny. It certainly sounded like a joke—Batman, Bruce Wayne, and Red Hood walk into a bar. Only it wasn't a bar, it was the Iceberg Lounge, and Batman swooped down from the skylight rather than walking in. You might recognize that as the first sentence of the story.

Because I was and continue to suffer from incurable DP x DC Brainrot, my first thought about this paragraph was, heh, that sounds like something Danny would say.

My second thought was, wait, why is Danny at the Iceberg Lounge? And what are Jason and Bruce doing there? And who is wearing the batsuit, and why?

I thought about this scenario for most of the day, coming up with possible answers. When I'd been thinking about it long enough that it was clear Iceberg Lounge Time wasn't going anywhere and the daydream plot was actually kind of interesting and Hey, I'd love to read that story, I started writing it down and kept writing.

The first scene I actually wrote down in full was the one where Sal asks Danny to cover for him at work. Of all the possible answers I came up with for "Why is Danny at the Iceberg Lounge?" the answer I liked the best was "He's covering for a co-worker/friend from his actual job".

Which generated a new question: what's his actual job? Does he work at a coffee shop? At a diner? At a grocery store?

And then I realized the chaos, the beauty, the delightful mayhem that having him work at Bat Burger would be. Like yeah yeah we all know Danny looks like all the Robins already, but to actually make him dress as a Robin for work? I couldn't pass that up.

That's when I knew this story had legs. There was a place for it to start and a place for it to go.

Returning to that initial paragraph helped me generate a lot more questions that needed answering if I wanted to continue the story. Why is Red Hood at the Iceberg Lounge (other than looking for Danny)? What is Bruce doing there (and why does he need to be there as Bruce and not Batman)? Who is wearing the Batsuit (and why are they wearing the Batsuit instead of their regular suit)?

Answering those questions generated a lot of the plot threads, after which I had a general idea of what Bruce, Jason, and Dick were up to (Duke's presence at the Iceberg Lounge came later).

I could have left it at that, but like Marie Kondo I love messes, so I made up some problems for the rest of the batfam and found ways to link them together in obvious and not-so-obvious ways. (If you come back and ask me again after the story is over, I can give a more in-depth answer about this, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone!)

side note: I wrote the story out of order; when scenes came to me, I wrote them down, even if I didn't know where exactly they fit into the story. Keeping momentum up was more important to me than having a story that made perfect sense right from the start. (I did have to put it in order eventually, and I chose to do this by making a calendar of events as well as document with all the characters and what they were up to at any given point in the story. Was this the best way of doing it? Probably not. But it worked so I'm not going to question it too much)

In this way, I kept building and building the story, layer by layer. I think this method is technically called the "snowflake method", but because I did it kind of haphazardly it didn't really feel like a method 😅

In short, the answer to "what's my process" is this: I find a question so interesting that answering it generates countless other questions that demand an answer, and in the process of answering them all hopefully a story will fall into place.

I hope this is helpful! My mind is a chaotic place that's hard to parse (even for me), but I did my best to describe it in a way that's informative.

[daytura]

observations and reflections on a small model of the RGB structure

These past few weeks, I've been loosely testing a small model of my RGB structure that I outlined in [[erosion of structure]]. To reiterate, that hypothetical structure uses three R, G, and B axes with 255 "values" per axis for a total of 16.5+ million complex coordinates (e.g. 2-132-7). Since I wanted something that I could check at a glance without getting lost, I downscaled to two axes and four values for a total of 16 complex coordinates. You can check out the spreadsheet here. I also opened another sheet to host more derivative ideas from the cross-pollination.

The first thing I noticed when filling in the grid was how hard it was. Some categories were easier to cross-pollinate than others, but I still needed to invest some thinking to synthesize them well. This difficulty also extended into the "Matrixed" sheet, where I budded off certain key points in each cross-pollinated square into a dedicated slot at that same coordinate. For instance, the biggest thing I could think of between "future studies" (3) and "taking breaks" (C) is that the study of the future must account for "slow days" and natural gaps in significant activity (C3). And then the derivative idea: We make history daily, but not all of that is relevant or important.

The second thing I noticed was how interesting the second Matrixed sheet was. It's satisfying to see my ideas precipitate so clearly. I had a felt sense that these were "right", because these were implicit assumptions in my thinking, but I rarely encountered them or followed up with these specific axioms. Now that these ideas were so clear, I could write about them easily, and I did--I wrote two threads about how mental contexts are organic frames, and how radical meaning-making is not enough.

In theory, this structure should also be able to accommodate the reverse process where high-fidelity, specific ideas can be differentiated or decomposed into n axis values and placed at that coordinate. For instance, the idea that "most people don't have a complete insight-through-making cycle" could be split into the values of "essence of problem-solving" and "human factors". Therefore, it will be stored at D1.

However, D1 is already filled by "Radical meaning-making is not enough". This was completely unexpected because I thought that concept multiplication and concept division were inverses/reverses. No matter how many times you combine or split a piece of information, the products will be the same.

This paints an odd picture of my intelligence, and perhaps human intelligence in general: How is it that combining more than 2 or 3 ideas is so hard, but decomposing an idea becomes much easier with the more topics available to classify into?

I don't think my synthesis is "too biased" or "too personal" because that's inherent to the process. I also don't think the division is necessarily "too low-res". The classifying topics are values on the axes and are a deliberate constraint. I'm more willing to accept for the time being that, until we have a "cognitive proof" that concept multiplication and concept division are actually inverses, we may have to treat them like separate though somewhat related processes. To the RGB structure, this means having 1 spreadsheet for synthetic generation and 1 for analytic placement. Or, if we had to really keep everything in one RGB structure, we'd need to either add more values on each axis, add a completely new axis with it's own set of values, or make do with the emerging "superposition" of each coordinate value.

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

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Every author starting out will know how important reviews are. If you’re yet to be convinced, here are some fun facts about reviews*:

1. 88% of consumers trust reviews as much as personal recommendations.

2. 72% of consumers will take action after reading a positive review.

3. Positive reviews tell Amazon and Google you’re worth ranking and can boost search results for your book by feeding into SEO (reviews account for almost 10% of total search ranking factors).

So reviews aren’t just a nice to have — they’re critical to the success of a book.

Now, amongst the writers community, we talk a lot about receiving reviews, but less so about giving reviews. I enjoy writing book reviews immensely, because it makes me think about what I’m reading on a different level, and forces me to learn how to articulate that opinion. This is actually one of the main reasons why I got into professional BETA reading.

I was asked recently how I structure my book reviews (all of which can be found on my blog), so here you have it: all the secrets to how I go about writing book reviews, along with some concrete examples!

Start With Why.

The most important question to ask yourself before you even start writing a review is this:

Why do people read book reviews?

In essence, they want to know whether the book is good, what it’s about, and — more importantly — whether they should read it. They generally like some context and detail to back the review so that they feel it’s genuine and trustworthy.

If you can keep in mind what people generally want to get out of a book review, this will help you keep your review relevant and useful. It’ll help you figure out what’s worth including and what isn’t. If in doubt, ask yourself what you would want to read about in a review when you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy a book.

Some Key Questions.

Before you start writing, you also need to ponder a few things. It may not always feel natural to reflect on a book on this level of detail — it didn’t for me at first. I either liked a book, or I loved it, or I didn’t, but I rarely spent a lot of time critically thinking about why I did or didn’t like a read.

If you’re also finding this uncomfortable at first, I say stick with it. I found it extremely interesting to make myself think these things through. It’s made my writing so much better, because I’ve developed that objective evaluation muscle that activates even when I’m with my own work. It’s also made me much better at forming and formulating an opinion, which is something I didn’t use to be good at!

Here are some questions to start with before you start on your review:

• Did you like the book?

• What did you like about it?

• What didn’t you like about it?

• Are there any themes that were particularly well handled?

• Were there any characters you liked above others, and why?

• Would you recommend the book to a friend?

These few questions will start shaping your view of what you’ve read and provide the main elements of your review.

To take your critical reading to the next level, you may want to ponder the various elements of the story and the writing as a whole. Think about:

• The plot / storyline — is it strong? Consistent? Original? Enticing? Are there gaps?

• The characters and character arcs — are all characters well developed? Multi-layered? Do they make sense? Are they relatable?

• The key themes — what are some recurring topics through the story? Are they well handled?

• The pace and timeline — is the story progressing at a good pace? Where does it lag? Does the timeline make sense?

• The writing style — how was the writing style? Did it flow well? Did it feel unique or original?

• The dialogues — did they feel natural? Were they believable? Were they engaging? Did they add to the overall story?

• The editing — how was the editing? Were there any typos or formatting errors?

Example Review Outline

Once you’ve spent some time with those initial questions, you’ll find it gives you the best part of your review content. At first, you may want to note down your answers to each of these. With time, you may find you can process these in your mind faster than you did before, and you don’t need so many notes. Whichever way is right for you, once you have this, you’re ready to start structuring your review.

I tend to use the following outline (though, of course, this isn’t the one and only way to write a review!):

1. Star Rating:

It’s most common in this day and age to include a rating in your review. There are talks out there about not leaving a rating on a book, because these can be extremely subjective — someone’s three-star rating may mean they loved the book but for others it’s a negative rating, some people don’t leave five-star reviews out of principle etc.

If you’re reviewing the book on Amazon and Goodreads however, you don’t have a choice but to pick a rating out of five stars. Have a think about how that rating system relates to you. For instance: would you leave five star ratings? What rating do you use for a book you liked versus a book you absolutely loved? What kind of book would warrant a low-rating? etc.

2. Opening:

Start with a short overview of what you thought of the book. This should give the reader a concise view of what you thought of the book, in two or three sentences. The idea is that, if they read only this opening part of the review, they should know your view on the matter.

Here’s an example opening paragraph I wrote for Heart of a Runaway Girl by Trevor Wiltzen:

‘Heart of a Runaway Girl is a breath of fresh air. As far as crime and murder investigation novels go, I only ever read Agatha Christie, so my standard is high. But this book did not disappoint.’

3. Synopsis:

The next section of the review is a short summary of the book, which should give the main elements of the plot. I tend to keep that part really short because I find that, if anyone wants to know the specifics, the book blurb the author so diligently wrote for the back cover is a much better place to learn more about that. Yes, you need to give a sense of what the book’s about, but it shouldn’t be the bulk of the review.

I think this is a matter of personal preference, I’ve seen reviews out there with a much longer synopsis section, but I always find myself skipping those bits to get to the nitty gritty of the review, which is what the person thought. There again, go back to the why — people who read reviews do so to find out whether or not they want to buy a book, so the more valuable pieces to help with that (in my view) are your opinions, more than an in-depth summary which they can find elsewhere.

For instance, when I reviewed Counter Ops by Jessica Scurlock, the second opus in the Pretty Lies series, I kept the synopsis paragraph to:

‘In Counter Ops, we meet a familiar duo, Ivy and Nixon, as they face the aftermath of the Elite Auction, and each endure its painful consequences. We follow their journey as they try to escape their fate and attempt to come to each other’s rescue — in more ways than one.’

4. Highlights:

The next part is what I call the ‘highlights’. This is where you talk about what you liked most about the book, or what you thought the strongest parts of the book were. This can focus on one element of the book (a character, a part of the plot, a theme etc.) or cover multiple elements.

See, for example, the highlights I picked for my review of Age of the Almek by Tara Lake:

‘I loved the author's ability to give every character their own voice and a distinct perspective on the world around them. I loved how involved I became with every character's fate and woes. I loved the precision with which the Almek world has been created, with such minuteness you can picture it down to the finest details.

My favourite part is the portrayal of the many facets of human nature, be it through the reactions of the masses to the barbaric ways of their rulers or the individual views of the protagonists. In every Almek citizen is a piece of the great puzzle that is humanity at large, and the author has a gift for writing it as raw and real as it gets.’

5. Mitigate your view:

Right after the highlights is where you’d add anything that mitigates your view. That’s anything that wasn’t quite as strong as you’d want it to be, or anything you weren’t a fan of.

You can skip this part if there’s nothing you didn’t like about the book — you don’t have to go nitpicking if nothing comes to mind. And it doesn’t have to be a bashing of the author and their work either. Keep it constructive and explain why you felt that way. There’s never a need for insults or expletives, and these wouldn’t enhance the quality of your review anyways. Formulating constructive criticism takes practice, and requires tact and subtlety. It’s a valuable skill to have if you’re willing to invest time in honing it.

Here’s how I phrased that part of the review for Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan:

‘But - and there's a but - my qualm with this book is that, for a story that revolves entirely around Nick and Rachel... There's actually very little Nick and Rachel in it!

Yes it's all 'about' them and it talks 'of' them loads, and we're told theyare happy together and want to be together... But it's all 'tell' and no 'show'. Their intimacy is sorely lacking, so I was left missing that added colour to convince me that they, in fact, do love each other. And I'm not talking saucy passages — I 'm talking about basic things suchas them actually talking to each other and spending time together.’

6. Conclusion:

The final part of the review is a short paragraph with closing remarks, such as a short summary of your view on the book, whether or not you recommend it or some indication of what readers the book may be for (e.g. ‘if you liked… you may like this book’).

When I reviewed Collision by Kristen Granata, I ended the review with:

‘Readers used to intricate, far-fetched romance plots may find this book too straightforward for their liking. In my mind, this is what makes the book's key strength: it's real and honest, it takes the reader through difficult situations and complex emotions beautifully, and that makes it all the more relatable.

A great read overall - and the moment I finished the last page, I was on Amazon ordering the next book in the series!’

How long should a review be?

I don’t think there should be a minimum or maximum word count to a review, though I find that mine end up being around 300 to 500 words. I feel this is a good length because as a reviewer this forces me to be concise and clear in expressing my opinions, and as a reader it’s long enough to give people a sense of the book, but not too long that they’ll drop off before the end.

Final Thoughts: To spoil or not to spoil?

My view on adding spoilers in your review is simple: DON’T.

Try as I might, I can’t fathom what could be gained from adding spoilers to a review. Once again: back to the why. Someone reads a review to find out if they want to read the book themselves. If you ruin the plot for them in that review, what’s the incentive to pick up the book?

It just hurts the author’s chances of making a book sale, and it robs a fellow reader of the joyful rollercoaster of finding out those plot twists at their own pace. Don’t do it, it’s just rude.

*Sources:

www.bookmarketingtools.com

www.searchenginewatch.com

www.dealeron.com

[hello-nichya-here]

So imma break what seems to be the typical trend with these asks and not just tell you a head-cannon lol. What is your opinion on taking a good character and making them "bad-guys".

Warning - this part is long lol.

For example, I'm playing around with the idea of writing a story where Katara was kidnapped by the Southern Raiders at the age of 4 or 5. She was brought before Azulon who, upon seeing her age, decides to introduce her to Azula. His plan is basically to curb a bit of Ozai's influence on her. (For reference, Azulon is still an ass. Just not to his family and he has a respect for the power the other elements have.) So alongside that, he goes and collects everything he can on waterbending, and takes it upon himself to teach her (I'm having Azulon be the one that gave Iroh that speech about the elements being connected which he later told to Zuko. Just roll with it lol.) So Azula and Katara grow close over the years, Katara eventually not remembering her original home (when I say that, I mean emotionally. She feels no connection nor desire to go back because she was taken at a young age). As she's learning, Katara is quickly found out to be a bending prodigy, despite not having a real master. At age 8 she goes to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls with Azula, where they meet Mai and Ty Lee. While there she learns about different places water can be found, such as the water cycle and eventually the composition of the human body. (I feel like having Hama teach her is to predictable and it's counter intuitive to where I want the story to go lol.) So she begins experimenting. First with the water vapor in the air, then with the water within plants, moving on to her own blood and eventually other students. As she practices, and spends time with Azula teasing other kids, she becomes increasingly cruel. This trend continues and influences Azula as well, bringing out the worst in her (Hey she has a healthy respect for the other elements though. So Azulon didn't completely fail.) This trend continues until the girls are ten. Katara by this point isn't very outspoken. She finds the act of internally injuring someone fascinating, listening to how they scream differently depending on what's damaged. Azula is more outspoken, similar to how she is in canon only much more likely to actually do the threats she makes or even sometimes act first then give the order to someone else. At this age both girls are essentially bending masters (completely believable to me considering Katara became a master in just a couple months in canon). This is also the age when Azulon passes away.

Ursa leaves and not long after Iroh returns. That's when he does the unthinkable. He gives Katara a drug rendering her unconscious before taking her from the palace. He has her put on a boat and sent to the Southern watertribe. She hates it there, her body not adapted to the frozen wasteland of the tundra. She views Sokka as an idiot, but she does like Gran-gran. Her soft demeanor reminded her of how Azulon treated her. Unable to leave, she has no choice but to wait, choosing to hide her current bending skill. Things proceed as they did in canon until they find Aang. When Zuko arrives he does the same thing he did in canon. Aang reveals himself to be the Avatar. When he tries to turn himself over, Katara reveals herself. (I'm thinking of having her say "Hello Zuzu" in a condescending voice lol. Not 100% on how that particular scene would play out.) Zuko immediately recognizes (and fears) her. She proceeds to use her bending to throw him back on the ship before taking off with Aang, leading them away. Canon proceeds as normal, certain scenes like the waterbending scroll not happening because she's already a master bender. She focuses on learning Healing while in the NWT until the invasion. She kills Zhao when he threatens the moon spirit (her ability to bend. I wanna make this scene rather gruesome. She does it with subtle bloodbending so the others don't know it was her).

As they are escaping the earth kingdom fort, Katara has pretty much reached her limit with traveling with the group. She had hoped he would be the quickest way back into the nation, hoping Azula would be sent after him. She had every intention of ditching them at Omashu when she finally sees Azula. Katara pulls Azula out of the fight, into a secluded area where they have thier reunion (I am having them be soft with each other, and only each other.) Katara wants to join Azula but Azula instead wants her to act as a double agent. Seeing Appa flying in, Katara quickly pulls Azula in, stealing a kiss before running back and flying away.

Canon proceeds as normal clear up until the crossroads of destiny. Katara of course is happy to find Azula in the throne room. She willingly hands over the invasion plans before they spend the day together, eventually setting a trap in the Catacombs (Zuko is still going to be there). When Aang breaks in, she asks why he's with Iroh. Aang tells her about Iroh saying he saved her from the firenation before. Katara realizes what he means. She takes being on Aang's side eventually using her bloodbending during the fight to immobilize him, leading to Azula getting a clean hit with her lightning. Iroh tries to interfere as Sokka and Toph arrive. Katara goes off about her kidnaping her before preventing his blood from reaching his heart, killing him. Zuko trust to attack her in anger while Sokka and Toph grab Aang and flee. Zuko is captured and taken back to the firenation in chains.

*takes deep breath*

I went through ALL of that because my questions start at this point. I could have Ozai order Azula to kill Katara, leading to them fleeing and joining the Gaang, leading to a nicer ending. Alternatively, I could have the same thing happen and have Katara and Azula kill Ozai instead, with them systematically killing the members of the Gaang leading to fire nation victory. Or I could find some kind of middle ground, where the Gaang doesn't die but the fire nation doesn't give up the colonies as a condition of ending the war.

Which of these makes the most sense to you. Are these darker stories something you like? Should I make Katara and Azula's relationship co-dependent! On a scale of 1 to yes, how kinky should I have Katara get with bloodbending Azula lol? Overall, what are your thoughts? Hopefully this isn't way to much when it comes to an ask. I know that was a lot of set up for just a few questions but I felt the context was important. If nothing else, I hope you found that incredibly rough outline I came up with off the top of my head pretty interesting lol. I never actually wrote any of that down. I probably should at some point.

Holy shit, this was one hell of a wild ride. And yeah, you should write it at some point. Your story is interesting and from what I know about Azutara, that ship needs more content.

I really like dark, grim stories... but I live for happy endings. However, this is YOUR story. The advantage of fanfic is that it can be as self-indulgent as your heart needs it to be. Go with whichever ending you like the most.

Some sweet, sweet codependency is perfect for darker stories. Also you made me very curious with the bloodbending thing.

To sum it up: DO IT! JUST DO IT!

[trulycertain]

fic writer interview

Tagged by @skogrr Thank you very much! It's a while since I've done one of these, and I've missed them.

Name: Tru/"Oi you" Fandoms (that I write for): Dragon Age, mostly. Still the fandom of my heart. Mass Effect, Deus Ex... uh, accidentally GreedFall? I don't know how or when that happened. Two-shot: Hmm... The actual last two-shot I wrote was Terms & Conditions, a very silly Dorian/Inquisitor modern AU where Gal is the guy Dorian hires to stop his late father's house falling apart. Recently? I suspect that's going to be Driftwood, which can stand on its own as a sort of weird post-canon first-meeting AU, but is trying to tempt me to continue it. (Vasco ends up going looking for Tír Fradí, which has disappeared - and finds it. He also finds De Sardet as a highly avoidant tree god of the island, post-Bad Ending, who transformed against her will. And he ends up falling in love with her anyway.) Weird tree gods! Pining by literal pine! An eventual happy ending! More grumpy commentary by Vasco!

Most popular multi-chapter: Either An Unquenchable Flame or Distraction, probably - both juggernaut pairings, the former close to the game's release and the latter with some fancy forbidden romance, so not so surprising. But surprisingly, Prague, 10:42 PM has done really well, considering it's for a small fandom (Deus Ex) and a rarepair age/rank-difference pairing that I thought would be a one-off experiment? I get it, guys. I like sad repressed stoics too.

Actual worst part of writing: Editing - which can be fun, but that "over and over" stage when you're about to post, especially in a longfic if you fear you've lost the spirit of the thing and the character voices and you can't see the wood for the trees. And when I have to remove a whole scene which Jenga-unbalances the fic, and then I have to redux from the top. Basically, most things to do with pacing. How you choose your titles: I like double-meanings and one word titles. If that fails: quote from a song. If that fails: quote from poetry, but very rarely. Do you outline: Only a little. A bulletpointed list of events or noted-down major lines of dialogue, that's usually it.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: Uh... oh god. I blame so many people for some of these.

Post-Destroy ending where John is attempting to build a shed on Rannoch because that's the kind of thing retired people do, right? and Tali is far better at it than him, and it's just... disgusting fluff.

Actually, just reduxing the early John/Tali stuff with a bit more nuance and a stronger style.

Eva and Kaidan, and their mutually wary first meeting. ("Wow, that's a lot of pomade." "Wow, that's a lot of death-glare.")

AU where Gal and Dorian never met in DAI, and after everything went down, Gal tried to fade into the shadows and leave. He ended up working in Tevinter as an occasional informant/odd-jobs guy the way he was pre-Inquisition. He ends up being a gardener for a bitter, wry magister who seems to hate the entire Magisterium, has recently lost his father to political scheming and murder, and wants to take down the entirety of the remaining Venatori with one staff and maybe his teeth if he has to (hi, Dorian). But first, Dorian's going to drink his own body weight in whiskey and be a recluse for a while and start thinking about time magic again. Gal is trying to keep his head down and should definitely not be falling in love with said magister. Who's someday going to end up at one of the more southerly ports, come across a statue of the great Inquisitor, and go, Oh.

Stuff on Jensen's PT and rebuilding himself post-augs. More of Proprioception, basically.

Mer-AU where Marie De Sardet is still a diplomat attempting to make new connections, just not a human one, and it's a disaster. An awkward disaster. Highlights include her being framed as the beast trying to drown their best captain; her attempting to wobble about on brand-new legs and Vasco's coat while everyone assumes the dear captain has had a few too many; her asking Vasco if his "fascinating markings" glow; them getting into a duel, and her (fondly) getting punted off the side of the ship going "Woo-hoo." OK, I wrote a bit of that, but only a 1k doodle I'll probably never return to.

Non-Naut court AU where Marie gets promised to Bastien D'Arcy, because he's a bit of a layabout but he's also rich, popular at court, and amenable to bribe - [cough] suggestion, and the D'Arcys have prominent trading links with the Alliance. Instead she falls for his far less of a social butterfly, tired, worried-numbers-guy brother Léandre, who's pretty damn uncomfortable around Nauts because he's well aware he nearly got sold to them and he is not the favourite.

Straight-up role-reversal AU (another thing where I've put down 1k that I'll probably never return to), where Marie's Naut name is Paz, and she's a fed-up second-mate who's tired of noble idiots and feels a little strange and conflicted about her mark (and has context for it, because they make frequent crossings to Tír Fradí). Also a little more jaded, without the love of her mother, and not nearly as much of a tryhard as Vasco in canon; she ended up here because she had nowhere else to go and the Nauts were like "Ooh, free kid," and she's well aware. She gets stuck escorting the D'Arcy brothers to Tír Fradí for their new venture and is not looking forward to it. Except one of them is intensely bright and wry and keeps asking questions about the ship and noticing shit he is definitely not meant to notice, and they keep ending up in strange conversations, even if he seems really, really wary and uncomfortable about Nauts.

Some vague stuff about Vasco's thoughts on Jonas and that whole side quest, considering he's also a sea-given and implies sea-given take some shit in the Nauts, and also how damn difficult it must be watching a sea-given's parents endeavour to get their kid back when he knows full well his didn't do that for him.

Actually, just more Vasco POV in general, even though he's damn hard to nail down. I've written much pining for him from Marie's perspective, and I'd like to try things from the opposite. This guy's idea of wooing someone perfectly normally is to panic and then recite Baroque poetry. You know he's sappy as hell in the privacy of his own head, even if he's trying not to be.

Jean and Síora having the "I'm a sad healer who just lost my mother and I'm trying so hard not to crumble under the weight of assisting the leader" mutual talk way too late at night around the campfire and maybe him crying on her shoulder a little, with mutual kindness and the beginnings of attraction, and her finally getting past his jokey-smug facade to understand him.

More stuff about Jean's past in general, and how he wanted to be a doctor before he was dragged away from it by looking after Constantin and being nobility.

Síora and Eseld and the ways they changed over the years; something like an exploration of grief and growing her own will and the ways they very differently view the renaigse. Also maybe more about the en ol menawi magic, if I can worldbuild well enough?

I'd also love to do a GreedFall soulmark AU - it's generally not my kind of trope, I'm not into biological determinism type tropes - just because names and aliases and assumed identities are such a mess in GreedFall and it's a repeated plot point. That said, I feel like it's been done so beautifully in this fandom before that I wouldn't have much to add.

Callouts @ me: So. Many. Commas. So much over-explaining everything. If they get out of the car, your readers do not need a five-page manual of "and then he undid his seatbelt and leaned over to grasp the door handle, and then pulled it, and then stepped a foot out before he almost thought better of it - but no, he was going to get out of this car. The other foot joined the first, and he nearly banged his head on the doorframe."

Best writing traits: People say I have a head for finding small-but-important moments. I'm also told I write likeable protags. People have more than once said my writing makes them feel safe or makes them smile, and I really couldn't ask for more than that. I'll take those.

Spicy tangential opinion: I don't think I have any, really? Oh god, that makes me sound so very boring. Oh! Um. There should be more tree body horror in fandom. And body horror in general. *thumbsup*

No pressure tagging: @artemis-crimson, @eridanidreams,@rainypixel, @aphreal42.

[thequibblah]

⭐ honestly there are so many things that I'd likevto ask which is why I want to ask a broaderish question.. How do you approach the characterisation of your "Main cast"? I think you have created some really great complex characters even though they do not exist in canon or even fanon (Germaine in example)

I hope this isn't too broad lol

no, i don't think it's too broad! just let me know if my answer doesn't actually touch on what you were wondering about haha

character creation for me tends to be spontaneous rather than conscious — i.e. i'm just writing my way through a scene and i'm like anyway, these people are new and they're friends or they're dating or they hate each other, and there's rarely a ton of forethought put into it. the vast majority of the ct cast was like that, i would say, except possibly michael, who was the first love interest i invented so there was a little more intention there

(but other than him i was really pulling things out of nowhere for the rest of the students especially — including with emmeline which sometimes surprises me)

the exception is, of course, the main cast. they and sara were very intentional, and i wrote little bio thingies for them before i started even outlining the fic. i mean the non-canon main cast, of course, lol — mary, dorcas (they're both canon but i've invented virtually everything about them, so), and germaine.

i did actually do a lot of hemming and hawing about how many girls there would be in lily's year in gryffindor. as discussed in a previous "my beef with j/k/r" instalment on this blog, the numbers of the hogwarts population really don't make sense at all, so i knew i could be flexible and kind of hand wave any questionable bits away. but the composition of the gryffindor girls was crucial in deciding lily's characterisation, imo — an easy way to convey implied characterisation is to show someone in contrast to the people around them. so: who is lily within the context of her friend group? is she friends with all the girls she rooms with?

separately, i've always liked writing friends in groups of four. in the planning stage of this i was like urghhh it's four girls, the four marauders, is that like too perfect....... and one thing i HATED was that people could then map on each marauder to each girl (lily = james is a bit questionable, though i firmly believe they're much more alike than they seem, but it kind of works.... mary = sirius, dorcas = remus, germaine = peter). and i didn't, and don't, want to make it seem like i've just made vaguely distinct female versions of each marauder!

i've made my peace with that risk, of course, and i think each of the girls is significantly different from "their marauder" (LOL) that it's actually fine — and, better still, if that thought occurs to anyone i hope that their characterisations will go on to provide interesting nuance to the parallels

but, anyway, tangent aside, i love groups of four because i think basically all my life i've had groups-of-four friendships. to absolutely go to bat for us foursomes, it's nice because no single person is the obvious odd one out, and each combination in pairs brings something different to the table — the role that doe plays in the group of four at large, for instance, isn't exactly the same as who she is in her individual friendship with mary, lily, or germaine.

the three main cast members came of some very clinical answers to those initial questions about lily.

one, i have always liked having mary be one of lily's friends, and in my characterisation of her she's obviously a great foil to lily, as a fellow muggle-born student. so, she was a lock.

two, i wanted to write one other canon order character, but i didn't want it to be marlene because in my reading of her canon mention, lily is unlikely to write a letter to sirius with her full name (paraphrasing but "i was so upset when marlene mckinnon died, i cried for ages") or, indeed, write a letter discussing how sad marlene's death made her, if they were besties and schoolmates. i went with dorcas because why the hell not? in developing her i then added all these thoughts

three, i felt the need to make up an oc so i could have absolute freedom over their fate. i had certain preconceived notions about mary and dorcas and what their stories would be, so there were other things (e.g. playing quidditch) that i wanted to have a friend of lily's do that they couldn't. plus, i wanted to write a massive lesbian.

another little sticking point, though, was that i (for a very SHRUG?? reason) didn't want lily to be besties with everyone she's lived with, but i didn't want to insert a catty rival into her dorm either. (now, don't get me wrong, i do love a good rival. i did, after all, write mary and amelia, and i am a known appreciator of carlotta meloni, and i adore TLE's marlene mckinnon. but i wanted the gryffindor girls to be like lily's safe space — a contrast both to her home life and to her recently-strained friendship with snape, where she's spent some time having to second-guess herself a lot. in my mind her friendships with all three of her besties coalesced at various points organically, until she was like wow wait i do actually have a home base here.)

the compromise was someone who was friendly with lily, but there's no strain on that friendship to be more than it is — which, sara and lily respect each other but have also learned they're not so alike that they need to hang out all the time. sara, to lily, is the girl you do things with because you're schoolmates, and then once you're out of school you amicably drift apart and occasionally leave a nice comment on their instagram

so that was how the gryffindors coalesced in my mind as placeholder figures. i will fully confess i start with tropes and then work out ways to deconstruct them or complicate them — as i've talked about in multiple of these questions, i think a lot of my characters are caught between sticking to their perceived label and acting the way they want to, aka the ripest high school drama fodder known to humankind

Wearing a fake smile and watching her sister’s sickening love life had put things in perspective a little. Why should she always do what was expected of her?

(we construct ourselves in contrast to those around us....)

mary started off as boy-crazy, doe started off as idealistic, and germaine started off as struggling to find her place. then i built up from those foundations, adding in tropey bits i enjoyed and wanted to engage with — i wanted doe to be passionately principled, but the gentler counterpart to mary, and even-tempered where lily runs hot. i wanted germaine to be a little bit thoughtless, changeable, someone utterly herself but still uncomfortable in her own skin. knowing, then, that the other two were going to be, how shall i put it, gentler hearts (LOL), i went back to mary and decided she would have this tough-girl, queen-bee persona.

then doe got her family background, which added in her ambitions and hinted at her future, and made it so her foundation would be threatened by events of the story. obviously i was writing mary in the aftermath of the mulciber/avery incident, so i needed to ask how much her take-no-shit vibe was threatened by it — and if not, why? how? unsurprisingly, even to people like amelia...

“At least I’m not overflowing with insecurity,” said Amelia. Mary laughed. The sound echoed through the courtyard. “We both know that’s not true.”

...the persona is put-on, but the "real mary" is so caught up in the invented mary that even she couldn't hope to uncover an authentic self...nor would she necessarily want to, because her affected self is still her...

wait don't get me started

germaine was already a quidditch player, and i wanted her to be a seeker because that's automatic investment in perhaps the single player with the most impact on the game — crucial for what i knew would be many, many quidditch sequences, where james wasn't always the most important pov! some of that seekery vibe leeched into who she is: she's searching, right from the start, for a sense of self that feels just out of reach:

“This year is going to be a year of change,” Germaine said [...] “Henceforth I will be going by... Gemma.” The girls looked at one another for a beat. Then Lily, Doe, and Mary burst into laughter.

she's more anxious and outwardly uncertain than her friends, and i wanted to consciously engage with that — proper teenage awkwardness, the kind that wouldn't really happen to Main Character lily, I Have No Sense of Shame mary, and I Am Overflowing with Good Sense doe. more than the other three, germaine is a normal person in the context of this world — she's not a muggleborn, so the war has a different impact on her; she's not the child of activists; she's not well-off. an absolutely spontaneous invention that i was really quite thrilled by was having her sister be crouch's secretary, because it's such a sudden, shocking realisation for her that she's got such a close connection in the thick of it

Germaine clapped a hand over her mouth. “Big news soon,” she mumbled. “Big news soon, that’s what Abigail said, only she didn’t say what big news…”

so germaine is really just... living her life, an indie coming of age film in which her friends' subplot is a fucking war LOL

i defined germaine in contrast to the other girls a lot when drawing out the characters for myself, mostly for a practical reason — i didn't want her to overlap too strongly with any of them, since she's the only one who's wholly my invention. i think some of that remains in her characterisation, but i decided to make it conscious instead:

Germaine saw herself as a happy medium, flexible enough to stretch sympathetically between her friends. But— What does it mean that I define myself in comparison to them? Nothing. She was only seventeen and she was finding her way.

i knew germaine was going to get the chaotic sporty romance pretty much right off the bat, but, fun fact, i hadn't actually picked out who her love interest would be until after i started spitballing other sixth years' names and had a basic idea of who emmeline was. wild!

i feel like i haven't said all i want to say but let's stop there or i'd go on forever, ha!

[postwick-palace]

What could Hop’s arc in the Pokémon anime look like?

This is a question that I’ve been mulling over in the past couple of months, as I love the Journeys anime so far and I love Hop as a character and I’d love for his character to be given justice in the anime. The anime’s been pretty hit or miss as far as adapting game rivals goes, and the fact that Ash isn’t actually journeying through Galar makes it more difficult to establish Hop as a rival to Ash. But I still think it can be done, and with the Darkest Day arc kicking off in a few days, I think now’s a perfect time to share my thoughts on what a Hop arc done right might look like!

So, I basically plotted out a full seven-episode arc for Hop that would theoretically take place over the course of a season or so. Given how little time Journeys is spending even on its longer arcs, it’s highly unlikely that they’d actually give him this long of an arc, but hey. I’m proposing my ideal Hop arc, not necessarily the most plausible Hop arc. 

The focus of my proposed arc is his struggle with being “strong” that he goes through during the middle-third of the game, after losing to Bede. Hop will be another competitor in the World Coronation Series, but when Ash meets him, he’s in the middle of a slump. Ash eventually helps him get out of this slump, and then Hop gets the opportunity to rematch Bede - the challenger who started him on the slump - and prove to Bede that he’s become stronger. Because Hop feels like he’s weak when he first meets Ash and Goh, he initially hides the fact that he’s Leon’s little brother from them. But eventually, they learn about their relationship and even get to spend time with Hop and Leon together, showing a little bit of a different side to both Trainers.

The basic purpose of each episode is as follows:

Episode 1 - Introduction: Introduces Hop; on the surface he's just another friendly WCS competitor but there are some hints that there's something deeper going on with him, like the fact that he gets really pissed off when Team Rocket calls him weak.

Episode 2 - Context: It's revealed that he's on a losing streak and he's trying to catch stronger Pokémon to break it, but he's not very close with any of his Pokémon because he doesn't think that's necessary to get stronger.

Episode 3 - Breaking Point: Hop’s lost so much that he's fallen back down to Normal Rank, and he's pretty bummed about it. Spending time with Ash & Goh helps him realize that having a strong bond with your Pokémon is important to getting stronger and he decides to add some of his older Pokémon back to his team.

Episode 4 - Lesson Learned: Continuation of the previous episode; Hop battles Ash with a team of Pokémon that he has a strong bond with and he wins. It's also strongly hinted at that he's Leon's little brother.

Episode 5 - Bede: Bede's introduced as the challenger who started Hop on his losing streak, and Ash learns that Hop is Leon's little brother. 

Episode 6 - Hop vs Bede: Continuation of the previous episode; Hop rematches Bede and is able to defeat him this time, demonstrating how he's grown. Also, Goh finally learns that Hop is Leon’s little brother.

Episode 7 - Leon’s Day Off: Hop & Leon spend time together in an informal setting and Ash & Goh get to learn more about their personal life, as well as just seeing how different Leon is when he's not showing off to the public.

And because I got really into it, I wrote up essentially full synopses for each episode, going into detail about how those points I outlined up above would be demonstrated. Since this post is already pretty long as it is, the episode synopses are under the cut!

Note: Because I wrote most of this over a month ago, before we even had any clue what the Eternatus plot would look like in the anime, this proposal deliberately avoids any mention of Chairman Rose, Eternatus, the Darkest Day, or the legendary wolves. It also assumes that Ash’s Riolu and Goh’s Raboot have not evolved by the time the arc begins, but they will have evolved later on.

Episode 1: Introduction

The episode begins with Ash and Goh arriving in Turffield. They’ve heard about the hidden treasure of Turffield and that some new clues to its location have recently been discovered, so they’re gonna go on a treasure hunt to try to find it. They talk to a local who gives them the clues they need to get started, and they set out to get hunting.

Just then, Ash gets an alert on his Rotom Phone that someone’s challenging him to a World Coronation Series match. He accepts and looks around to see who the challenger is, and he discovers it’s an energetic kid with purple hair and yellow-gold eyes who introduces himself as Hop from Postwick. Ash introduces himself, and a WCS battle begins.

The match is Ash’s Riolu versus Hop’s Cramorant. At some point during the battle, there’s a gag where Cramorant uses Surf and it floods the whole area, and then Goh realizes that Ash’s Pikachu is missing – only to discover that it got gulped up by Cramorant. Ash and Goh ask Cramorant to spit Pikachu out, but Hop commands Cramorant to attack instead. Unfortunately for Hop, Cramorant has difficulty maneuvering with a Pikachu in its mouth, so none of the attacks it uses while holding Pikachu hit their target. He wonders if maybe he should just have Cramorant spit out Pikachu, but before he can make a decision Ash finally just has Riolu use Vacuum Wave on Cramorant. This causes it to spit out Pikachu right into Riolu, which deals damage and paralyzes it. Hop is relieved because that was what he was hoping for all along.

However, ever the flexible thinker, Ash is able to turn the battle around and claim victory. His rank rises while Hop’s rank falls, revealing that Hop is actually higher ranked than Ash. Hop thanks Ash for the battle – it taught him that relying on Cramorant’s Gulp Missile ability was clearly a bad strategy. He then says that Cramorant is a bust, but when Ash asks him what he means by that Hop doesn’t elaborate.

Rather, he asks Goh if Goh is a World Coronation Series competitor too. Goh introduces himself and says he isn’t, and Ash explains that they’re here looking for the treasure of Turffield. Hop gets excited because he’s looking for the treasure of Turffield, too. He challenges Ash and Goh to a competition to see who can find the treasure first.

The treasure hunt is a little more elaborate than it is in the games, with a series of clues that each tell the location of the next one. The last clue points them to the middle of a field which happens to be occupied by Wooloo. Ash reaches it first, but he can’t get the Wooloo to move. Goh joins him next and tries using the Pokédex to figure out how to move them, but it doesn’t help either. 

Finally Hop reaches them, and he’s disappointed that he fell behind but perks up when he realizes that they’re stuck because of the Wooloo. He claims to know everything there is to know about Wooloo and spouts off some Wooloo facts. According to Hop, Wooloo are useless in battle, but their wool makes really strong fabric. If you want to get them to trust you, you have to scratch them right behind the ears. They’re very stubborn and aren’t prone to moving, especially in large groups, but they can be startled by loud noises. Once they start rolling, that’s your chance to herd them in the direction you want.

Ash says that he tried startling them with a loud noise already, but after they rolled away they rolled back before he could reach the spot where the treasure was buried. Hop says you need to herd them away from it and says he’ll show them how it’s done. He sends out a Raboot, much to Goh’s surprise, and Raboot runs quietly to the other side of the flock. Hop yells to startle the Wooloo and Raboot fires an Ember up into the air, drawing the Wooloo’s attention so they all move away from Hop and towards Raboot. Then Raboot runs back to Hop’s side, blocking off the Wooloo from moving back to their old spot. Hop thanks the Wooloo for their cooperation and pets one of the Wooloo on the head, getting a wistful look in his eye.

Suddenly, a net flies out and grabs Raboot and all the Wooloo. Hop is bewildered, Ash and Goh rush to his side, and Team Rocket reveal themselves and do the motto. They grab Pikachu as well for good measure and attempt to make their escape. Hop sends out a Toxel and a Silicobra, but neither of them really know ranged attacks so they can’t do much. Team Rocket laugh at their ineffectiveness and say something along the lines of him being a “weak little twerp” which makes Hop really angry, but no matter how many attacks his Pokémon use they can’t reach Team Rocket.  

Goh, who still has all his Pokémon, sends out his own Raboot. Hop’s surprised that Goh also has a Raboot, and Goh’s Raboot uses Ember to break the net that Team Rocket is using to hold the Pokémon. Hop’s Raboot rescues Ash’s Pikachu, and Pikachu and the two Raboot send Team Rocket blasting off. Hop’s and Goh’s Raboot do something cute like fistbump or something to show that they’re buddies now.

Finally, they’re able to dig up the hidden treasure; it might be an Expert Belt like in the games or it could be something more useful. Hop expects Ash to take it since he was the first one to reach the Wooloo, but Ash says Hop should have it since they couldn’t have moved the Wooloo without him. Hop tries to downplay his contribution but Goh agrees with Ash, so Hop gets to take the treasure. He thanks Ash and Goh for their help rescuing Raboot and the Wooloo, and the episode ends with Hop saying goodbye to them and heading off on his own way.

Episode 2: Context

The episode begins with Goh deciding that he wants to catch more Pokémon from other regions. Ash makes some suggestions, but Goh just can’t pick a single region to go to. Professor Cerise suggests that they go to the Wild Area in Galar since it’s full of Pokémon from every region. Goh thinks that’s a great idea, and Ash is eager to join him because that means they might be able to find more wild Dynamax Pokémon. So, they set off for the Galar region once more.

They arrive at a different part of the Wild Area than the one they explored last time so they can hopefully find different Pokémon. Goh finds some Pokémon he hasn’t caught before and catches it. Ash looks around for a pillar of red light indicating the appearance of a Dynamax Pokémon, and he spots one that doesn’t look too far away. They head off to investigate it.

They’re able to see from a long way off that it’s a Dynamax Snorlax, and maybe one of them comments that it looks different from the one they encountered on their first visit. As they get closer they hear the sounds of Pokémon attacks and realize that someone is battling the Snorlax. Eventually, they’re close enough to realize that that someone is Hop. He’s battling Snorlax with Raboot, Boltund, Trevenant, and Heatmor all at the same time, and as they watch, Hop manages to weaken Snorlax enough to try to catch it. He takes out a Poke Ball and uses his Dynamax Band to supersize it before throwing it at Snorlax. It shakes three times before returning to normal size for the click.

As Hop jogs over to pick up his new catch, Ash and Goh call his name and congratulate him. Hop greets them, and Ash says he didn’t know that you could catch Dynamax Pokémon. Hop says that you can as long as you have a Dynamax Band, and wild Dynamax Pokémon are a little stronger than other Pokémon, so he’s been looking around the Wild Area for strong Dynamax Pokémon to add to his team. Goh says that they’re here to catch Pokémon too, so maybe they could catch Pokémon together. Hop points out that they can’t both catch a single Pokémon, but he thinks it’ll be fun to compete to see who can catch the Pokémon first.

A brief little montage follows in which Hop and Goh compete to catch a few Pokémon, each of them catching a couple. Eventually, Hop spots a Dreepy and is really eager to try to catch it. It runs away almost immediately, and Hop has some difficulty chasing after it, but eventually he’s able to catch up to the Dreepy and catch it. By that point, they’re all pretty tired from chasing after Dreepy, and Ash being Ash is absolutely starving. So, Hop suggests they set up camp and offers to treat them to proper Galarian curry.

They all send out their full teams and share the curry Pokémon Camp style. Ash is eager to see Hop’s Cramorant again, but to his surprise Hop doesn’t have it with him. Hop says that he sent it home to Postwick – he keeps all the Pokémon he catches that are no good in battle there. Goh observes that Hop’s Pokémon are all keeping to themselves and don’t seem very close to him, and Hop explains that they’re all recent catches so he hasn’t spent much time with them. Ash says that camping out with them like this will be a great way to bond with them, but Hop says that there’s not much point in bonding with his Pokémon if he can’t come up with good strategies to use with them. He needs to get stronger and becoming friends with his Pokémon isn’t necessary to do that. Hop then changes the subject before Ash or Goh can argue with him.

Naturally, the World Coronation Series eventually comes up in conversation. Ash shows off his ranking and asks Hop what his is. Hop doesn’t want to look at his rank though, and when pressed he explains that he was almost to Hyper Rank when he lost to another challenger and has been on a losing streak ever since. Ash encourages him not to give up and to keep training to become stronger, and Hop agrees, declaring that he’s going to become the next World Monarch.

Hop’s new Dreepy floats up to him, and Hop pets it and says Dreepy’s an integral part of his plan to get to World Monarch status. Goh is surprised because it’s such a timid-looking Pokémon, and Hop claims that it may be weak now but its final evolution, Dragapult, is one of the strongest Dragon-type Pokémon. He adds that the World Monarch himself has a Dragapult on his team that he only uses against his toughest opponents, so that’s why wanted to catch a Dreepy for himself.

However, because they can’t have nice things, Team Rocket shows up to steal all their Pokémon – a task made much easier by the fact that they’re all just sitting out in the open for them to steal. They nab all the Pokémon except Hop’s brand-new Snorlax because it’s too heavy to be sucked up by Team Rocket’s machine. Hop and Snorlax destroy Team Rocket’s machine and free all the Pokémon; Team Rocket summons the vending machine to get some Pokémon to battle with. Snorlax is able to defeat both Pokémon singlehandedly, much to Hop’s delight. He declares that Snorlax is also going to be an integral part of his championship team.

With everything packed up and put away, Hop and Ash and Goh prepare to once again go their separate ways. Hop says that with the new team members he’s acquired today, he feels like he’s finally gonna be able to break his losing streak and start climbing back up the ranks, and he promises to have a rematch with Ash the next time they meet. Ash wishes him luck, and Hop runs off.

Back at Cerise Park, Goh sets out food for his Pokémon and observes how all the new Pokémon he caught today are fitting in well. He thinks about how distant Hop’s Pokémon seemed by comparison and Hop’s words about it not being necessary to bond with his Pokémon. Ash walks up and asks Goh what he’s thinking about, and Goh says that Hop is a really strange Trainer. Ash cheerfully replies that they’re all a little strange, and Hop clearly loves Pokémon, so he doesn’t see anything wrong about him. The episode ends with Goh thinking that if Hop really loves Pokémon, he sure has a strange way of showing it.

Episode 3: Breaking Point

The episode opens with Hop walking alone through Circhester, shuffling his feet and staring at his WCS ranking on his phone – he’s back down to Normal Rank. He switches to another window on his phone that starts playing an interview with Leon. In the interview, Leon talks about his dream for the Trainers of Galar to become stronger. When the interviewer asks him about the World Coronation Series, Leon namedrops Ash as a competitor who he’s got his eye on. Hop shoves his phone back into his pocket and walks away dejectedly.

Meanwhile, Ash and Goh are visiting Circhester today because they’re investigating a wild Snom outbreak around there. They’ve barely just arrived when Ash is jumped by a bunch of WCS competitors who saw Leon’s interview and want to battle Ash because the Champion singled him out. At first, Ash is eager to fight, but he gets a bit overwhelmed by the number of people who want to battle him.

Suddenly, Hop appears and in a pretty authoritative voice tells everybody to leave Ash alone because they’re being rude and Ash isn’t here to battle. They disperse, and Ash and Goh thank Hop for the assist – they’re not used to dealing with big groups of people like that. Ash wonders why they got mobbed in the first place, and Hop’s surprised that they haven’t seen the interview yet. He describes it as an interview where “Mr. World Monarch himself said that you’re a promising Trainer that he’s got high hopes for in the World Coronation Series, Ash,” but his annoyance goes unnoticed by Ash and Goh. Hop recommends that they stay out of the city for a while until people calm down, and that works for Ash and Goh because the wild Snom they’re looking for don’t live in the city, anyways. Hop asks to go with them because Snom are really cute and who wouldn’t want to go see Snom, y’know?

While they’re looking for the Snom, however, Hop is notably more subdued than usual. When Ash asks him how the WCS is going for him, Hop avoids the question. They start to get really cold, so Hop sends out his Raboot and Goh his Cinderace to keep themselves warm. Raboot and Cinderace are buds as usual, and Hop says – kinda bitterly – that he thinks Raboot likes Cinderace more than him. Goh says that his Cinderace was the same way when it was a Raboot and that Raboot just shows how it cares in a different way.

A little later, they finally find the Snom and play around with them for a bit with their Pokémon, but the playing gets a little too rough and they accidentally cause an avalanche. Hop ends up trapped inside a cave with Raboot while Ash and Goh and their Pokémon are still outside. Hop calls out to Ash and Goh, but they can’t hear him. Next, he sends out all the rest of his Pokémon: Snorlax, Pincurchin, Drakloak, and Xatu. He tries to get them to destroy the rocks and ice from the inside, but they can’t. With the cave seemingly coming to a dead end a short way in and no way out, Hop decides that his only option is to return everyone except Raboot, for warmth, and hunker down to await rescue.

Meanwhile, Ash and Goh are trying to get to Hop from the outside. They’ve already realized that he can’t hear them, and Goh finally determines that they can’t move or destroy the avalanche without making things worse. They decide to go back to the city to get professional help – one of those Macro Cosmos subsidiaries probably specializes in stuff like this.

Back in the cave, Hop’s starting to shiver from the cold even with Raboot there; Raboot is visibly distressed despite Hop reassuring him that he’s fine. Raboot starts looking for another way out of the cave and eventually finds one by melting some ice. Hop and Raboot explore this other path, but it just leads to another exit blocked by the avalanche. Raboot doesn’t give up though and tries to destroy the ice and snow from the inside again. Through the power of determination and friendship, Raboot evolves into Cinderace and is able to melt everything with Pyro Ball.

Hop is amazed and overjoyed that Cinderace evolved, but he doesn’t understand why until Cinderace gives him a big hug to warm him up. He realizes that, like Goh said, it cares about him a lot and this is how it’s showing that. Flashing back to a battle of Ash’s and a battle of Leon’s, Hop realizes that the thing he was missing – the reason why all his strategies and picking the right Pokémon never worked – is that having a close bond with your Pokémon does help make them stronger, and maybe that’s even more important than using the “strongest” Pokémon.

Hop finds Ash and Goh to show them that he’s okay and make sure all the Snom are okay, but he doesn’t stick around for long – he sprints back to Circhester and calls home. His mom starts to ask him if he’s seen Leon’s interview, but Hop interrupts her to ask her to send over a couple of his Pokémon. After she’s sent them over, she says they missed him and Hop says, a little tearfully, that he missed them too.

Ash and Goh are back in Circhester near the Hero’s Bath, talking about their encounter with the Snom. Hop runs up to them with Cinderace, Corvisquire, and Wooloo all out of their Poké Balls and running alongside him. He introduces Ash and Goh to Wooloo, the first Pokémon he ever owned, and Corvisquire, the first Pokémon he ever caught. The episode ends with Hop challenging Ash to an official World Coronation Series match.

Episode 4: Lesson Learned

Hop and Ash battle, with Hop using Wooloo, Corvisquire, and Cinderace. Hop is noticeably more confident in making decisions and issuing commands to his Pokémon than he was in his first battle with Ash. It’s a close match, but Hop wins because he’s in sync with his Pokémon and believes in himself. [Wooloo or Corvisquire could evolve during the battle, but Cinderace just evolved last episode and I don’t want to overdo it on the evolutions.]

When Hop’s rankings update, the announcer states that the victory brings him back up to Super Rank. Ash and Goh are surprised because they didn’t even know that Hop had fallen down back to Normal Rank. Hop explains that he was feeling so bummed last episode because of that, and he was actually looking for Ash because he hoped spending time with Ash would help him figure out what he needed to do to get out of his slump – “you were endorsed by the World Monarch, after all”.

Hop is filled with new determination to become the next World Monarch and Ash is pumped to have a renewed rivalry with Hop. He promises to defeat Hop the next time they battle, but Hop says Ash won’t stand a chance because Hop’s about to start a new winning streak and reach Hyper Rank in no time. Hop says goodbye and races off to go challenge another WCS competitor.

Goh, meanwhile, is curious about the interview and calls Ash over so they can watch it together on Goh’s Rotom Phone. They watch the part that Hop saw, where Leon talks about Ash, but they don’t stop watching immediately like Hop did. And as it turns out, the next thing the interviewer asks is which Trainer from Galar Leon thinks has the most potential in the World Coronation Series. Leon’s answer is his little brother: “My little bro may only be Normal Rank now, but I’m certain that he’ll soon become a force to be reckoned with!”

Ash and Goh are surprised to learn that Leon has a little brother, and Ash wonders who the little brother is. Goh says that if he’s anything like his brother, then Ash will definitely meet Leon’s little brother in battle someday. The episode ends with them returning to Kanto to tell Professor Cerise about everything that happened in their visit to Galar.

Episode 5: Bede

Ash and Goh are in Galar again. This time, Ash is there for a battle competition in Hammerlocke, while Goh plans to explore the nearby Wild Area to catch more Pokémon. The Hammerlocke battle competition, which is simply named the Hammerlocke Challenger’s Cup, isn’t affiliated with the World Coronation Series, but Ash thinks it’ll be good practice for the competition. Plus, it’ll be a lot of fun because it’s held in Hammerlocke Stadium so the competitors can use Dynamax in the matches.

After Ash has signed up for the competition he runs into Hop, who’s chipper and enthusiastic as usual. Hop also signs up for the competition and asks where Goh is; Ash explains that he’s out catching Pokémon, but he’ll be back to watch the battles.

Just then, someone offscreen is like, “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Champion’s pathetic little brother.” Cut to Bede, who’s looking smug and arrogant as always. Hop tells him to shut up and Bede asks Hop if he really can’t handle hearing the truth. Hop says that Bede’s too full of himself to notice the truth and Bede retorts that he’s perfectly capable of telling a strong Trainer from a weak one and Hop definitely falls in the latter category.

Ash finally interrupts to ask if Bede meant Champion as in Leon, and Bede condescendingly asks what other Champion he would be referring to. Hop points out that every region has a Champion, but there’s only one World Monarch – and that’s his big bro. Ash is shocked to learn that Hop is Leon’s little brother, but Hop’s surprised that Ash didn’t know or figure that out already. Bede takes the opportunity to get in another jab at Hop, saying that Ash didn’t realize he was the Champion’s brother because he’s so weak. Hop snaps at Bede that he’s been training and gotten stronger since last time, and he’ll prove it by beating Bede in the Challenger’s Cup. Bede says that he doesn’t stand a chance, and Ash gets fired up and says that he’s gonna win the whole thing.

Bede finally asks who Ash is and he introduces himself; Bede recognizes the name and tells him that he’s not a hotshot just because the Champion has an eye on him. Hop mutters “World Monarch” under his breath as Bede strolls away to go register for the tournament, leaving Ash to wonder what the heck Bede’s problem is.

Ash then asks Hop how he knows Bede and why he never told them that he’s Leon’s little brother. Hop explains that Bede’s the WCS competitor who he lost to that set him on his losing streak, and Bede totally flattened him in their battle. After Hop lost, Bede started saying stuff like what they just heard, about Hop being weak and dragging Leon’s good name through the mud and such. Hop didn’t want to tell people that he’s Leon’s little brother because he was afraid they’d see how weak he was and think worse of Leon for it.

Ash assures him that none of that’s true and Hop says he’s figured that out, so now he just has to prove it to Bede. Ash agrees, but also says that he’s not gonna go easy on Hop or Bede if he battles against them in the cup.

A montage of scenes follows: Goh catches some Pokémon; Ash, Hop, and Bede battle in the tournament. They all dominate in their matches and make it to the semifinals. Hop beats his rando opponent and makes it to the finals, while Ash and Bede battle each other in the semifinal round. Goh comes back in time to watch their battle; he and Hop spectate together, so Hop is able to fill Goh in on who Bede is.

To their dismay, Ash loses to Bede – probably because he was using a Pokémon he had only caught recently or one with a type disadvantage or something. Bede gloats, Hop gets even more determined to defeat him, and the episode ends with Hop preparing to battle Bede.

Episode 6: Hop vs Bede

It’s time for the final match of the Hammerlocke Challenger’s Cup. Bede starts with an all-out offensive strategy using Reuniclus but Hop’s Snorlax is able to take hits really well, so Hop seems to have the advantage at first. Then Reuniclus confuses Snorlax and it starts hurting itself, allowing Bede to defeat it.

Hop sends out Dubwool next and Reuniclus confuses Dubwool as well, but Dubwool is able to break through the confusion thanks to his bond with Hop. Together they’re able to defeat Reuniclus, and then Bede sends out his Hatterene. He Gigantamaxes Hatterene right away, forcing Hop to Dynamax Dubwool as well. Dubwool is then able to defeat Hatterene and win the tournament for Hop.

The prize for winning the Challenger’s Cup is a candy basket filled with Exp. Candies and Dynamax Candies, leading to a gag where Ash tries to eat one of the candies before Hop tells him that they’re meant for Pokémon. The prize also comes with a special bonus – the Leon ball used in Pokémon Camp. Hop finds this absolutely hilarious and decides to call his brother to show it to him.

He makes the call with Ash and Goh, but Goh doesn’t know who Hop’s brother is yet, so he’s shocked when Leon answers. Leon is surprised that Ash and Goh have met Hop – he hadn’t seen Ash participating in the tournament because he’d been too busy to watch it – but he’s proud to hear that his little brother won and laughs at the merch prize. He makes a joke about autographing the ball for Hop, but then he has to go take care of some Champion thing – he promises to call Hop again soon before hanging up.

Bede makes some snide comment behind them about the Champion not making time for his little brother, and Hop gets mad at Bede for eavesdropping. Bede says he shouldn’t make phone calls in a public place if he doesn’t want people to overhear. Hop tries to get Bede to admit that he’s not weak, but Bede only acknowledges that he’s less weak than before and asserts that he’s still a better Trainer than Hop – Hop’s victory was just a fluke. He adds that since he was able to beat Ash, the Champion’s eye will be on him now. Then he strides away with smug confidence. Hop tells Ash not to listen to anything Bede says, and the episode ends with Ash declaring that he’ll beat Bede next time.

Episode 7: Leon’s Day Off

The episode opens with Leon doing boring Champion stuff: meetings, interviews, paperwork, and the like. He makes a comment to Oleana about this being his least favorite part of the job, but she’s not terribly sympathetic and tells him to get to his next meeting. When he gets lost on the way to the meeting, he declares that he needs a break from all this. Then he asks a nearby office worker if they can escort him to the meeting room he’s supposed to be in.

Later, Ash, Goh, and Hop are doing some research task in the Wild Area; Ash and Goh were asked to do it by Professor Cerise and they happened to run into Hop, who volunteered to join them. They’re just finishing up with it when Hop gets a phone call from his mum, who says she misses him and wants him to come home for dinner. Hop awkwardly tells her that he’s with friends right now, and she invites them to come for dinner, too – she’s barbecuing and there will be plenty of food for everyone. Goh says that he wouldn’t mind seeing Hop’s hometown, while Ash was hooked the moment she brought up food. So, the three of them finish what they were doing and head to Postwick together.

Hop points out some landmarks along the way like the Wooloo fields and the Slumbering Weald. They meet Hop’s mum out front of their house and she makes some remark along the lines of being happy for Ash and Goh being friends with Hop because Hop was never as good at making friends as his brother, and Hop gets all embarrassed about it. When Mum finds out that Ash and Goh have traveled here all the way from Kanto, she insists that they spend the night and tells them to go inside and pick out places to sleep.

They head into the living room and Hop invites them to look around, make themselves at home. Ash and Goh take him up on the offer and start looking around at everything. Hop says that if they don’t want to sleep on the floor, then someone will have to sleep on the couch and the other can get the guest room. Then he remembers that someone could use Leon’s room, so he says that they won’t need the couch after all.

However, someone else says that room’s already claimed. They whirl around to see Leon and Charizard standing in the entrance to the living room. He’s wearing totally casual clothes – no cap, no cape, no uniform. Hop greets him with an enthusiastic hug, and Leon says it’s good to see him again. He notes that he wasn’t expecting to see Ash and Goh here, but it’s good to see them again, too.

Ash explains that Mum invited them, and Hop says that they weren’t expecting to see Leon – “Why didn’t Mum say anything?” Leon explains that he took the day off today and decided to come home, and he asked Mum to invite Hop here so that he could surprise his little bro. Hop says that he was definitely surprised. Then he jokes that he’s more surprised that Leon made it home by himself without getting lost, and Leon ruffles his hair and says that Charizard guided him.

Goh’s attention has returned to all the trophies on the wall, and he asks whose they are. Hop sheepishly replies that they’re all Leon’s – he hasn’t won any trophies. Leon asks him what happened to the trophy Hop won at the Hammerlocke Challenger’s Cup and Hop says it’s up in his bedroom; Leon comments that all the trophies he puts up in his bedroom mysteriously migrate to the living room by the time he next comes home. It’s starting to feel a little cramped in the living room, so they all agree to head out to the backyard.

In the backyard, there’s a battlefield and beyond that a pasture where all the Pokémon Hop and Leon have caught are roaming. When Ash sees the battlefield, he gets excited and tells Leon he wants to battle again; Leon’s seriously considering it, but then Mum interrupts to chide him for thinking about battling when he’s supposed to be on vacation. Leon protests that battling is fun, but Mum is insistent that there will be no battling while Leon’s here. She sets the “no-battles” rule for the other boys as well, so Leon won’t get tempted. Ash makes a comment that it feels like something his own mom would do.

They go out to the pasture to play with the Pokémon while Mum cooks. Ash and Goh get to meet Leon’s other Pokémon; Ash and Leon bond over the fact that they both have a Charizard. All of the Pokémon that Hop uses in his in-game battle teams are here, as well as Drakloak, Xatu, and any other miscellaneous Pokémon he might have caught in earlier episodes. Ash is particularly excited to see Cramorant again after not getting to see it back in Episode 2. It’s revealed that Hop’s Cinderace and Dynamax Band were both gifts from Leon, as well as the fact that Leon had told Hop long before he met Ash about the kid from Pallet Town with a Gigantamax Pikachu. Leon and Hop mess with each other a couple of times, and Leon generally demonstrates that he has about as much maturity as the younger three. Overall, everyone’s just having a good time.

When Mum’s finished barbecuing, everyone returns to the backyard for dinner; after dinner, they all start getting ready for bed. Ash opts to sleep on the floor of the guest room while Goh takes the guest bed. As they go to bed, Goh asks Ash if he noticed that the Champion acts differently when he’s at home, but Ash has no idea what he’s talking about. Goh’s not really sure how to put it into words – the best he can describe it is that Leon seems friendlier, but Ash doesn’t get it because Leon’s always friendly. Goh sighs and tells him to forget about it.

Over in Hop’s room, Hop and Dubwool are facing the dilemma that Dubwool is too big to fit in its bed now that it’s evolved. Leon shows up in the doorway and says that Dubwool should just sleep with Hop – half the time when it was a Wooloo, it ended up in Hop’s bed by morning anyways. Hop sticks his tongue out at Leon and pulls out an extra blanket and pillow for Dubwool to sleep on. He arranges it to be comfortable for Dubwool and gets back up, only to realize that Leon is still standing in his room.

Hop asks Lee what’s up and Leon explains that he has to leave early tomorrow morning to make it back to Wyndon in time, meaning he’ll be gone before Hop wakes up. So, he thought he would say goodbye to Hop before they go to bed so he actually gets the chance to do that. Hop is disappointed that Leon has to leave again so soon and he complains about Leon being so busy, but Leon says that that’s just a consequence of being Champion and World Monarch. Hop says that he’ll just have to become the new World Monarch to take some of that burden off Leon’s shoulders, and while he says it in a lighthearted way, Leon responds very seriously that he doesn’t want Hop to be burdening himself with anything and certainly not to try to make things easier on Leon. He’s an adult, he can handle it; Hop should enjoy being a kid while he still can.

Realizing that he just killed the mood, Leon teasingly asks Hop if he’d like Leon to tuck him in and read him a bedtime story. Hop hits Leon with a pillow in response. Leon grabs the pillow from Hop and hits him back, knocking him onto his bed. The two of them share a laugh. Leon says goodbye and goodnight to Hop and gives him a hug before he leaves the room, turning off the lights as he goes.

The episode ends with a shot of the trophy collection in the living room in the morning, to which Hop’s Hammerlocke Challenger’s Cup trophy has been added.

[stardust-steel]

Will you do it too? 👉🏻👈🏻

Thanks for asking me Buu 💕

1. If published and in DB fandom have 17 counting in Ao3 and ffnet (different pen name )

If unpublished or counting other fandoms, above 30 but I would rather not discuss them because they are not me now :3 *also hides her 67 page google docs of ffs )

2. Average length of fic to be honest I don’t find this a meaningful question as I write whatever I want to explore and whatever length that comes to is what it needs.:3 most of my stuff are long and/or multi chaptered though and definitely the upcoming ones are. Whoops

3. I wouldn’t say fav trope but I tend to gravitate to slow burn, angst, hurt comfort, fluff and subversive. I also love found family tropes and tend to attack POV of characters like this

5. Easiest part of writing is the actual writing itself, when the idea is still hot and it’s like I’m the messenger , the thing writes itself and i am only the channel

I hate the editing process but that’s probably the most important bit to turn raw brilliance into better polished refined elegance

I hate writing summaries

4. Fav part of writing is to be honest when some long time later I’ve forgotten what I wrote and I reread them

and it’s like discovering a fav author who wrote everything I wanted to see except the author is me. Don’t mean to be conceited, just lovely to see what I wanted to see

6. Pet peeve? I don’t really have one for writing, does the summary writing count ?

7. Writing habit - having multiple docs and copies open of the scene so I can try different versions. I used to write down specific scenes I wanted and connect them all later together , move things like a jigsaw. With the upcoming fics I’ve started outlining them though because they are plot heavy and I want to fix that down so I can focus on character

8. WIP line

... this is hard

“That hurt like a bitch”

“I’m sorry, would you prefer to be dead?”

Healer Vegeta AU

9. An idea for a fic I have? This was strangely phrased

-Hunger games Kakavege fic which will parallel all of dbz and possibly super

-The epic teen fic myself and @greydivide are working on :3

10. Fav line from a fic - is it my fic or someone else’s? If someone else, I’d have to pick @engineerdz Guiltless fic line when Vegeta says something like “where are your shoes?”in lieu of addressing more important things (context he’d just been kissed by Goku)

If it’s my fic, maybe sorry I have to pick 2... in Agent Oblivion when Goku screams at Agent V “Stop calling me that!”

And in Call It What You Want when Goten asks this:

Goten: uncle Vegeta how do saiyan tell they like eachother

V: they don’t, they just fight

Goten: but you and dad fight all the time, does that mean you like eachother

V: chokes

11. Fav scene ? If it’s from someone else’s fic, aaa so hard so many good ones!! Please don’t be offended if not chosen it’s 130am for me here lol. I’ll go with Caecus by @capsulecrisistime because it broke my heart when Vegeta gave up, or Once again @engineerdz Guiltless fic when they first kiss, first kiss!! or @vakaara Cold day fic when Vegeta was very cutely being not- jealous over Broly, @dulcineawrites Take Care gift fic when Goku bandages Vegeta’s palm.

If it’s my fic, probably the whole sequence in Agent Oblivion when Goku uncovers who Agent V is all the way to when Vegeta sacrifices himself again and Goku’s all NO I WONT ALLOW THIS and gets Merus to link their life force together

Or in “Call it what you want” when Goku’s laughing at Vegeta after 18 kisses him on the cheek as thanks for saving Marron (I’m still kind of 👉👈 proud of my characterisation of 18 here, I’ve been told it was spot on with the kakavegeness too)

12. Ah treasure fic is hard to choose. At this point I’m going to assume it’s referring to my fics.

Maybe Agent Oblivion because it literally is all my epics thrown together - identity mess, Goku and Vegeta slow burn, endless saving eachother, Vegeta fighting off Majin a second time and facing punishment for his crimes like the dignified royal prince he is and both him and Goku being all badass in THIS NEXT CHAPTER COMING 😆😆 and well it was written through as a way cope with a loss and tough point of my life. So yes. But I treasure all my fics to be honest because so much heart was involved

13. Think I accidentally answered this up there

14. Vegeta Goku, Goku Vegeta. I have a fondness for 18, Merus and relate to future trunks as a person for reasons

Since writing a 17 POV fic I have become more attached to him too

But favourite??? Without a doubt Vegeta and Goku

15. This is more chapter titles than story for me

Agent Oblivion (I feel that’s unique, you won’t find another like it)

The Defiant One

Scratching The Surface because it was from Scratch the cat’s POV about kakavege. I know I’m lame but it was a pun I couldn’t resist 🤣

16 does kakavege tag count? Otherwise slow burn

17. Teen and up, I always try to play safe and put M

18. All my fics have dry humour, and theme or something greater I am exploring through the characters, if you look for it. All of it

If you’re talking a smaller scale answer I insert an allusion to stardust in every fic because “we’re all made of star stuff” (Vegeta and Goku’s home planet has been reduced to stardust after all)

19. I think this so similar to many authors response - have fun

I stress out a lot over what I write and whether the jigsaw fits but It truly should be fun because it’s fic and what you love

20. This fic is not yet out (hunger games kakavege and healer vegeta!) so for now I’ll say “This space between us “ because it’s my realistic take on Goku and Vegetas relationship or Agent Oblivion which has been repeatedly told to me to be very unique not because of the identity mess but because every layer from the villain to the plot to the twists has been very different and good diff

This was told to me, I am not saying it of myself

But ask me again in a couple of months and I might say that Hunger games fic

Thanks for asking me @baby-buu-buu

[septembersghost]

cas really told dean what we ALL wanted to tell him. he looked him in the eye and told him everything we've been pushing out into the universe to try to get to him for YEARS AND YEARS, he said everything dean DESERVED and NEEDED and THOUGHT HE WAS UNWORTHY OF HEARING. cas was all of us! he was all of us!

(preface: I wrote this yesterday, but didn’t publish it. it was before the current fandom situation, but the meaning of this still stands.)

the emotional distress this causes me, I--

yeah, I feel this, and maybe it’s an unusual place to land due to context, but as someone who has loved Dean and clung to him and found refracted fragments in him and wanted so much for him to recognize his worth and his beautiful, gleaming heart, who wanted him to make a home for himself after making himself a home for so many others, who has screamed this into the universe for years, hoping against hope some stars would align and he’d be allowed to hear it...Cas was rather like a surrogate there. Cas was saying things we’ve known for so long to be true, that we ached to tell him when we saw him hurting, when we were processing his damage with our own. and Cas was doing this selflessly because it brought him happiness simply to have Dean hear it, which is relatable, but also I think underestimated in its importance. so much was put on Dean’s shoulders so young. he’s been the caregiver and the one making self-sacrifice so often. he deserved to have that said unconditionally.

it’s multifold in a way, I’m not quite certain how to unpack this, but as a loves-him-too-much-and-probably-projects-too-many-of-my-Issues-there Dean!girl, it was also something I personally needed to hear. I needed to hear it for Dean. but I also needed to hear it for me. which means there was a part of me in both of them at that moment, somehow.

that entire scene was a catalyst. it was a thesis statement inherent to the narrative finally being made a literal part of the text, laying before us the fact that Dean’s love was the beating heart of the story (wbk), that even in the violence and chaos and the tumult, Dean’s love was always the thing not only driving him, but guiding and touching everyone else, rippling forever outwards and causing change, expanding their found family, expanding their possibilities, expanding their world, and ours by extension. lighting the way on those dark back roads. it was meant to symbolize the most authentic, uncontrollable, unscripted, vital representation of free will in the universe. and for a story so much about changing your fate, about not accepting destiny, about uniting with others by choice, that was tremendous. (also somewhat meta - Dean was never “supposed” to be this on paper, so it’s like his indomitable spirit was determined to rise beyond the original outline, unplanned. all that heart and vulnerability was Jensen breathing life into it, and from that point, Dean was uncontainable.) what a breathtaking concept. that this one human being’s capacity for love was so extraordinary, it didn’t only help save the world, it rewrote the story itself. 

we don’t need to follow orders, or these cruel, rigid structures to be worthy. to be brave. to be devout. we can rip them up and choose anew. we can make our own faith. we can do that with love.

you do not set up a thesis that profound, that humanistic, if not to make it matter. to see it count. to acknowledge what that love adds up to, show it illuminating new paths and empty spaces, warming the shiver of grief, cradling broken places as they mend.

they really presented that to us, to Cas, to Dean, finally to Dean. they took this and made it sincere:

like. ten years later. they went - actually, let’s melt the facetiousness away. he was right and he should say it. (this is Point of No Return! “screw destiny, right in the face” is also in this episode! ALL the threads could connect back to origin points.)

it’s even another human/divine mirror allegory - the gloriousness of that love’s transformative possibilities, and the humility of that love simply living quietly with us, as we continue to honor it by making it from one day to the next.

to render that...something that precious...null and void, I just...that is not smart. or deep. or resonant. that’s cynicism/nihilism (which this story never was. never. it could be grim and it had teeth, but it also contained moments of joy and always had its core of hope) and intentional injury for the sake of it. the opposite of said thesis. (literally the antithesis, presented with no catharsis. which is not how story structure works!)

Cas really stood there and said that for all of us, and Dean really was bright enough to be emblematic of that for all of us, and this should have been extended proudly and healthily to Sam too (rather than the excruciating way we had to hear it). a reason to live, a token of healing. that’s why there’s a gulf of grief being experienced right now. because it wasn’t only them. it was us. erasing the meaning of this was erasing a part of us. what a senseless tragedy. I am so disgusted by hubristic, dismissive “plot” being used to rug-pull audiences as we’re snidely told it’s subversive. it’s not subversive if it collapses your whole narrative, it’s hollow. it’s not meaningful to say someone earned peace in death, rather than letting them earn freedom and contentment in LIFE. you know what would be truly subversive? recovery. survival on your own terms.

this is why we’re snatching control of it back, however we can. they really thought they did something with that finale? no. but they did have something, even if it was unintentional, even if we understand it and see it better than they did, with that thesis about love, and it still exists. for 326 episodes, we know it exists. love as an undercurrent can’t be surrendered.

love cannot be killed or swept aside.

[pocket-void]

Hi Mock!

I wish you a good morning! (It's currently 8:30 am here and I hope you are asleep wherever you are because healthy sleep schedules and all that!) 🌻

I just found out that you write, too, and I've read "A cup of coffee" and honestly, is there something you can't do? Because that was really great! I enjoyed reading it so much!! And I love your Logan in it!

And can I ask: where so you get the motivation to do all this great stuff? Drawing, writing, school? Like, I have like 5 different writing projects screaming at me because I don't work on them and yesterday I outlined yet another fic that I'll probably never write because I just don't have the motivation and - how do you do it? Because I want to write. It's the best thing in the world to me. But I just can't get myself to do it, and when I do, everything I make feels kinda... not good. Ugly, if you will.

So I guess I just want to know what I can do to get myself away from that? Because I really need to write, I'll go insane otherwise O_o

Anyway, have a wonderful day and eat a cookie!! 🌼

Y’all who can format stuff in asks will never cease to bamboozle me. O///o

But hello!! I believe it’s the afternoon where you are now! ^\\\^ (Not to worry, if there’s one thing I try to get enough of it’s sleep!)

Heidhwkfns Yes I write too but it’s incredibly on and off since I’m not as confident with it and it takes much longer than art! >\\\< I 100% want to write more often tho, but my need to accomplish stuff just finds art less time consuming. I’m really glad you like “A Cup of Coffee” because I’m quite happy with how that one turned out! ^\\\^ (And also just genuinely surprised at how many people enjoyed it) So thank you!! ;///;✨💖

So, here’s the thing. I’m just a normal person, just like anybody else! There are days where I have 0 motivation to do anything, and days where I’m way too motivated but still do absolutely nothing anyways lmao- I can’t say that my experience will work for everybody of course, but I can try to explain how I feel or how I work things out when I don’t feel like doing things. u///u

The first step is to forgive myself, because it’s going to be ok. There’s nothing wrong with having an off day, and nothing wrong with not accomplishing anything for now. There should be no guilt involved in not touching something for ages, god knows I’ve got so much in the “maybe later” idea box that I will never get to. But that’s ok! My creations will never blame me for not working on them, so in turn I promised to never blame myself for it either. And if I ever go back to complete one of them, great! But if not, that still doesn’t mean that it was a waste. Everything you make has value, finished or not.

The second is to remember that I love them. I love them a lot. I love creating, I love art, I love writing, and I love the process behind them! What you write and create will never complain if they are “not the best” or “ugly”. Their value comes from how you feel about them. Nobody else’s imput matters. So what if it’s not great? So what if it’s a mess? My terrible crayon drawing from when I was 4? Love it. Still has my whole heart. They’re on my bedroom wall to this day! (Neatly framed and hung, courtesy of my dad) I ask myself why I sat down to do something in the first place, and the answer is always going to be because I love doing it! Everything I make means something to me, no matter how bad or how small. Because at the end of the day, I made something. And it’s all the reason I need to love it.

It doesn’t matter if this doodle looks bad or this draft makes literally no sense because even if it’s not good, I did it. Even if I feel like I’m going nowhere, I know that each creation is a small step in my long long journey of improvement. It might not seem like that sometimes, like everything we do doesn’t really seem like it’s getting better any time soon, but we can never tell unless we keep doing it right? Instead of being upset that I’m not very good now, I decided to try and look forward to how good I eventually will be. I find that prospect exciting! We never know how much we grow until we get there, it’s like a happy surprise! ^\\\^✨And in the meantime, I am allowed to be perfectly happy with what I already can do. How far I’ve already come. Even if other people tell me otherwise, even if it’s true that it’s not very great, who’s to say that I will always be? Not me, that’s for sure.

I am willing to be patient for the sake of what I do, because I am willing to do it for an eternity.

There is no race in doing what I love, because I am the only one on this path. I can see other people on their own paths too! And sometimes they’re faster and have way better stamina than me, but their final destination is ultimately going to be much much different than mine, even if we’re going in a similar direction. So there is no point in trying to match them; I decide to walk at my own pace. It’s much easier for me this way. Take breaks! Drink some water. We’ve all got our places to go. ^\\\^

Third thing about getting things done is, well, getting it done! Do you know how I wrote “A Cup of Coffee”? I pain stakingly stared at it all day with frequent breaks in between, read it a ridiculous amount of times until it didn’t sound like english, and had text to speech read it back to me a couple more times just so I could make sure, because I really really really wanted to finish it. And it probably was kind of messy, hahaha. >\\\<

I’m not suggesting you do what I did btw, because it’s not even how I always write things! My other story “Table for Two” was written under a much different context. For that one, I wrote parts of it on different days. I took walks thinking about how I’d word things, how I’d imagine the scene going, and how I should pace sentences. I actually deleted the entire first paragraph and started over a few times because it didn’t sound right. Then one afternoon I decided that I wanted this story done. So I sat down and did what I could, edited a few things afterwards, and tentatively showed it to a friend. I didn’t edit it much after that, but it was done!

If I learned anything from highschool, it’s that doing something imperfectly is better than not doing it at all. I’m still a pretty picky perfectionist and a terrible procrastinator, and it’s not easy! But I would much prefer something I make to be “messy but complete”, rather than “pretty good so far but not finished”. Personally for me, getting started is the hardest part of doing anything. I have yet to find an easier way to do it, but I know that sometimes I just need to sit down and do what I can to start writing. If a sentence sounds weird, I keep going, because I can come back to it later! But if a sentence doesn’t exist, I can’t fix that without, well, writing it. o///o So I consider that a start!

I definitely understand you when you say that you can’t get yourself to write because I currently kind of can’t either. >\\\< I have outlines that I won’t ever write, I have ideas that I’m not gonna get to, and I’ve got fics that I worry won’t be as good when I write them. But maybe today I’ll sit myself down and just write one sentence. Give it a title, make a document, and stare for a lil bit. Give it a beginning. Because for me, sometimes drawing the starting line somewhere helps. Maybe it can show me what direction I need to go in just a little bit clearer. u///u

At the end of the day, the thing I say all the time is enjoy what you do. It’s just genuinely the most important part of doing anything to me. Yes it can be hard and sometimes we worry about how it’s gonna be, but we still do it don’t we? We come back and try again because we love it. Because we really can’t live without it. So what’s wrong with just...doing it?

That’s how it is to be a creator for me, I suppose. And from one to another, I genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey!!

After all, there will be no other quite like it. u///u💖✨

[boomerang109]

*looks at my fic, which hasn’t been updated in 4 weeks (other than edits because i Didn’t Like It) and i’ve now driven myself into a horrible writers block immediately after outlining the entire thing possibly because i have outlined the entire thing and i forgot where i was going with this but am i sending it anyway yes i am please god tell me to write someone threw my motivation out the window and it’s all muddy now and i don wanna touch it oh god what even is that metaphor see what i mean about the writers block anyway ily cant wait for the next chapter of wwda get it out when you can don’t stress ily bye*

don’t tell me why my brain is like “yes we can answer this but we’ll combust if we look at any messages.” there’s no logic but i’ll get around to your messages and everyone else’s there. (to everyone waiting for like two sentence answers who’s seeing me post paragraphs, i’m sorry. the braincell does not function)

the way that i’m in YES! i can help! mode even tho i myself am lowkey in writer’s block which means i’m not qualified at all ajfhjghfgfdjghj

first of all: outlines are just to guide you. they stress me the fuck out too (which is why i’ve refused to put my wwda outline to paper, despite the fact that this means the timeline is absolutely fucked. like it’s in my brain, but if i put it on paper i’ll try to stick to it and i’ll freak out--see my month long break when i had an “outline” for chapter four). you can have goals for chapters (ie, lay groundwork for foreshadowing/character development/etc) but overall? just let yourself sit in front of the computer and vibe. don’t think about where you’re going, just think about where you are. 

“i don wanna touch it oh god what even is that metaphor see what i mean about the writers block“ this? this is you judging yourself while you write and i don’t want to see ANY of that shit. writing is a process and editing is a thing, but when you’re doing your first draft you just gotta word vomit. sorry that’s a gross phrase but that’s what i do. and honestly? most of wwda is barely pieced together word vomit. idek why anyone likes it, but they do. and even if they didn’t--nothing would exist if you don’t put something to paper to start with.

apparently this advice doesn’t apply to everyone (i still can’t process @hella1975 ‘s writing technique like what the actual fuck) but for me one of the big things with writer’s block is starting where i want to start and just writing whatever fucking scenes i want. idk if that makes sense so i’ll put it into the context of wwda. so when i was still in my fucking intensive class i wasn’t writing cause i didn’t have time except for like a few minutes before bed at like 3am. now at 3am i’m not gonna write suki and azula being rivals cause i can barely handle that dynamic when i’m Focused. but at 3am i’m sad as fuck and i generally like to peruse the ao3 dadkoda tag, so instead i just wrote my own dadkoda scenes for much later (although they’re not actually that far off) in the fic. are they gonna need some editing cause i was just like ‘maximum angst even tho this scene is supposed to be about healing’? yes. yes i was. now the other day on the plane (when i really should’ve been working on an essay i didn’t end up finishing) i was like okay, i need to work on something actually relevant to chapter 12. but i’ve worked myself into a corner with my azula & iroh scene so i didn’t want to deal with that bullshit on two hours of sleep and also being called “miss” and other female terms in the airport got me all in the gender feels so i was like oh! i’ll write some more enby aang! and i wrote this like gorgeous passage or two on aang’s gender feels. and yeah, it probably makes no sense for aang cause i wrote it from a pov that was too much me and not enough aang, but the point still remains. i skipped to a part of the chapter that was important to me. and then i realized that aang could be having these thoughts in the context of another scene which led to . . . and there i was with somewhat of a complete thought for the chapter. 

also along those lines, if you’re having writer’s block you gotta look at that block. what’s wrong? is there something wrong with the story up to this point? is there something you don’t like about where you’re going? is there something you really want to write that you’re not letting yourself write? 

cause the thing is, we’re not professional authors. we’re fic writers. we do this for fun cause we love the characters. so if you’re not loving the characters for some reason, you shouldn’t force yourself. take the pressure off yourself. this fandom is so supportive, they’re not going to rush you (literally look at the fact that even as you say you’re excited for wwda you also tell me not to stress) and remember to apply that to yourself. it’s okay to need a break, whether that’s cause the vibes are off or cause you’re tired or any other reason. 

i tried to write a bunch of different thoughts cause i know different things work for different people, i hope at least one of these ideas help. i literally haven’t looked at wwda even though i really want to be writing (and i still haven’t been reading fic). sometimes our brains just don’t cooperate. and yeah, i could sit here and yell at myself and go “what the fuck boom you’ve been looking forward to writing for literal weeks and now you have time and you’re doing other stuff what is wrong with you” and sometimes it’s really tempting to give into that. but the truth is i don’t usually do as much work as i did the past few weeks on as little sleep as i got so i’m really fucking tired. and so i’m giving myself a break. and i’m just not emotionally prepared to read fic cause--oh oops i hadn’t admitted to myself until right this second that i was avoiding fic cause i’m suppressing my feelings that kinda hurt wtf this wasn’t supposed to become therapy hour wtf. but as dumb as all that feels to put, i’m not gonna delete it cause i’m sure you’re gonna read it and say something along the lines of “it’s okay to rest and wait to read/write if that’s what you need!” cause you’re a nice person. so say those things to yourself IF that’s what you need. but if you’ve been sitting in bed for weeks and don’t have any reason not to write, maybe it’s time to word vomit. or if you have a problem with your story maybe you should look at that. just, do whatever works for you but be gentle with yourself. give yourself the same kindness you give others. whenever i’m not sure how to handle something (or how to treat myself ig), i’ll ask myself how i would give advice to a friend. so maybe try that. look at yourself, your writing process, your fic like it’s a friend’s and be like hmm. what would i recommend my friend do? and if weird rambley advice that probably displays my many years of therapy is helpful to you, then know my inbox (and my messages that i swear i’ll answer some day) are always open. i’m not gonna read this over cause i know if i do i’ll be too embarrassed to post so i’m just hoping it’s helpful. much love <3

[bow-woahh]

Heal Me After Hurting chapter 2 DVD commentary ask?

Send me your favorite scene/chapter from one of my works and I’ll post a DVD commentary on it.

Heal me after hurting! it's been a while since I've revisited this so I'm excited to talk about it! It's crazy to think it was nearly a year ago when I wrote it. It genuinely feels like just yesterday.

Chapter 2 ("Sick of saying nothing back") is the chapter where Catra and Adora actually start to communicate their feelings about each other and past together (hence why it's pretty dialogue heavy).

Catra has obviously just woken up from a nightmare and is still feeling pretty out of it, so it makes sense she'd be a little less closed off as a defense mechanism. Plus after hours of not actually speaking to Adora, she actually really wants to.

"Catra? Hey...hey, babe— don't, don’t cry, what’s wrong?”

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure Adora says babe at least once every chapter. Maybe just one and two. But yes, that was purposeful.

(“For many, closure is a good tool to put an end to lingering questions and thoughts in one's mind, for others, all it does is remind them of things you needn’t reminders of. Over due time, you’ll figure out whether you want that closure or not, or whether to move on and look towards the future.”)

It's so sad that S5 completely destroyed the Micah as Catra's father figure/advice giver character but hey I still love the idea of this dynamic and I stand by it with him as her therapist in this fic.

Also, closure is a very important theme in this chapter, as neither of them got that: Catra because she literally wasn't allowed to get any and by the time she was it was too late; Adora because although she did break up with Catra, it was over text and was the last thing she wanted to do. Lots of unresolved issues were left behind.

“You—” Catra stops herself, takes a breath, then tries again. "You just...disappeared out of my life, left."

There's an obvious reason as to why Adora left and completely cut her off (because of Catra's mental health and how she wasn't just a danger to herself but others too) but it's so unlike her that Catra wants to believe that there was some other reason, that is wasn't just because—in her eyes—that she wasn't good enough. And actually, she turns out to be kind of right.

“I wasn’t well,” she says, mouth dry and words meek. It comes out like an excuse, even though it’s anything but.

This is at the moment the closest Catra can get to an apology, because she knows what she did was wrong and has grown a lot since then, but it's still so hard to admit that, especially to the person the hurt the most.

"It's just, I just...I dreamt about—"

Adora scoots closer. "Everything that happened that night? Yeah, I, um…I do too sometimes. It must be worse for you though, especially because…” she hesitates, then says, “still– you're not supposed to use your voice, you need to fully recover, okay?"

She cares SO much like ❤️🥺

"I didn't know what to do, or say, what was allowed." Adora replies, still apprehensive.

Adora likes rules, and boundaries. Before, although their relationship was obviously still kind of convoluted, for all it's faults it worked. After the incident, even once Catra was leading a healthier life, Adora had no clue how to approach her, if she could approach her. All the boundaries once there were gone with new ones that were so blurry that there was no point in trying to cross them. It was as if they were strangers, which is something Adora wasn't equipped to deal with.

Adora also says before this: “Everyone said– they said to give you space. So you could recover. So...I listened.”

Because she didn't know what she could do, what the boundaries were, she followed the guidelines set for her by others, which may or may not have been the right thing to do.

“You still care,” Catra whispers, bringing her knees up to her chest, head starting to pound as she begins to regret the bold statement.

Despite everything, despite Adora taking care of her the whole day, it's only now that Catra realises (or let's herself acknowledge) that Adora does still care greatly for her. Adora is obviously amazed at how Catra can even imply otherwise, because Adora never stopped caring and she thought it was pretty obvious.

Closing the lingering distance – the lingering tension – between them, Catra moves to sit opposite Adora.

“Adora... I’m sorry. For everything. I wish that– I wish things were different. That I was different.”

This!! Line!! Okay first — the fact Catra said the same thing in S5...I'm a prophet. But also, this is so important because now, just like in the show, now that Catra's finally admitted to the person she hurt the most that she does feel remorse over her actions, she can move forward now. Obviously, the contexts are a little different but I'd say it mostly applies.

Maybe things were always destined to happen this way.

Listen Catradora are simply star crossed lovers, but only for a little while. I just feel like in every universe it only makes sense of they fall out/grow distant before coming back together. They get their happy ending, but it just takes a little while yknow?

"No, it wasn't right, I should have spoken to you sooner, instead of lurking in the background…" the colour seems to rush to her face at the statement, and Catra can't help but be curious about what she actually means.

I remember when I was outlining literally writing how Adora would like,, low-key stalk Catra to see how she was doing. Nothing like super creepy, maybe just sitting in one of lectures or watching her with Scorpia and Catra at a coffee shop that she just happened to go to as well. Completely coincidental.

Catra wants to say 'me too'. She wants to shout it out at the top of the lungs, because all throughout when she was recovering she thought of Adora, love or hate – or a mix of the two – she thought of her.

Obviously drawing from the show here. Like it was clear they never really stopped thinking about each other and the same can be said here. Catra could never quite get rid of Adora from her mind. Partially because of how much she cared and loved her but also because of the fact she'd had so little closure from Adora.

“I didn’t even have my phone. The old guy was pretty careful with who I talked to in the first month or so. But…” she halts, and can’t help but wrap the arms around herself tighter.

A little extra info that I never put in the fic because it just relevant — Catra has a dad in this, which is who she's referring to here. Also, if you couldn't tell from the few context clues here and there, Catra is also pretty rich too. She wasn't exactly spoilt when she was growing up because, for a while, her dad was married to SW (picture evil step mum) but by the time she was around 16, 17, she's out of the picture, because of an,, unfortunate accident. Shadow Weaver is either present or dead in all the fics I write, okay?

“[...]They all told me to cut all ties with you, so you’d be able to focus on yourself, so I could do the same, and what I had wanted to say wasn’t exactly what everyone else expected.”

[Adora taking about the message she sent to Catra] I imagine before Adora agonised over what to say to Catra for days, much to Glimmer and Bow's dismay that they ended up sitting down and helping her right the message that she actually sent, but she obviously hated it then wrote the message she actually wanted to send in her own, before being unable to send it and going with the other one.

“Catra, I’m here babe, talk to me,” Adora says

She said babe again?!? Damn I went to town lmao

“Don’t...don’t cry,” Adora says, unconvincingly and accompanied with a weak smile in an even weaker whisper of her own. That’s all it takes for the dam to crumble completely and overflow. When those tears finally pour down, her first sob sends shivers down her spine, and it quickly worsens from there.

Ouch...this scene hurts to read. I'm sure when I was writing it I was laughing manically at the pain I was going to inflict on you all but...damn. Like the way Catra is trying so hard to stay strong but as soon as she sees Adora distressed again she just breaks down. God how an I getting hurt by my own fic??

Carefully, cautiously even, she wipes a straggling tear from her cheek, and with her lips just slightly upturned, mismatched eyes piercing through sky blue ones, she whispers, “it’s okay now though? Isn’t it?”

This moment is. Everything. So far, a lot of this has been Adora comforting Catra, Adora literally looking after Catra, but this is finally Catra reciprocating that by comforting Adora back, by letting her know ‘I'm here for you too.’ Also the brief tension that this causes.. wonderful.

Catra can see, smell, is Adora, and her lips are right there, looking soft and alluring like they always have, like they'll be enough to dissipate all worries, cast away all her doubts. But she’s scared, scared for this to happen, because it’s all so soon, too sudden, and moments before they'd been crying, and what if she messes up, what if this gesture messes it up?

I loved finding out how I actually fooled people into thinking they were gonna kiss. I'm sorry. But I'm not. Most people actually said they were glad they didn't, which was very much the response I wanted, so I was pretty happy with it.

“I was kinda worried you'd never come around, or that we'd get close and one of us would shut down once the serious stuff was brought up. If I’m being honest, I nearly didn't come— when Scorpia asked.”

"I don't see why she asked or why you'd want to." Catra shrugs

Yes. Scorpia was 100% being a bit of a shit stirrer. She knew these two fools needed to talk to each other.

Casually, Adora let's out the next statement as if it were fact. “They weren't you.” she answers with a shrug.

At this point Adora has long accepted that there's no one like Catra. That there's no one who can replace her. What she was to her. Obviously she tried, but Catra was still there the whole time in her mine. Catra is just it for her and she knows that. So for her, admitting this is as easy as breathing because she's come to terms with it.

But she can't, she's too far behind, she's still processing, and she hates that, because Adora feels – is – a million miles ahead of her, and she wishes it could be easy, that she could be easy on herself, that she could let Adora hear what she wants, no, needs to hear…though she just isn't there yet.

I feel so bad for Catra here because she feels like she can't keep up with Adora's pace, how well she's handling this, but it's not even her fault, like, it's just harder for her to deal with it like :((

Catra never saw the need for it anyway– Adora already looks stunning without it. Expecting her brain to chide her for even thinking that, Catra is practically amazed when there’s no little voice in her head condemning her for thinking such a thing, for going back there.

Progress,, we like to see! Obviously, in the last chapter we see more of this as well, which is great.

Adora, who broke up with her. Adora, who was once her everything. Adora, the one she had hurt the most, was here; talking to her, accepting her, smiling at her, forgiving her.

Callback to chapter 1,, we love to see it lmao

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this! Sorry it took 59 years but to make up for it, chap 8 of bloom will be up in like 2, 3 days! (:

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Alison O’Brien

Writing Blog URL(s): @httpangelicjimin

What fandom(s) do you write for?: BTS, although I wouldn’t mind writing for other groups. Often, I have other idols that make cameos in my stories.

Age: 21

Nationality: Portuguese + French

Languages: Portuguese + French + English + Spanish

Star Sign: Leo

MBTI: ENFJ

Favorite color: pastel blue

Favorite food: pizza no doubt 

Favorite movie: I’m gonna have to be a sucker and say monster’s inc. bc who doesn’t love Pixar

Favorite ice cream flavor: I’d say coffee, tho I love a good ol’ chocolate ice cream

Favorite animal: wolf, it’s my spirit animal 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Coffee, for sure. Iced coffee or mocha

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Ever since I was little I always wanted to be a singer but I guess I’m too shy for that ahah so I’d either say writing or advertising.

Go-to karaoke song: Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: The ability to change shape at will.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: The Victorian Era sounds brilliant to me. I would be a sucker for the dresses. Although, I also would’ve loved to be able to live in the ’20s. Great Gatsby made me dream countless times of all the amazing parties, with jazz playing in the background. The fashion was impeccable, and of course, to be alive at the same time as F. Scott Fitzgerald. I could even run into him at one of those glamorous parties. 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: I don’t think I would. Life has taught me some valuable lessons along the way but I was happy. Even when surrounded by those who didn’t have the best intentions in mind. If I had known all that I know now, I wouldn’t have lived as freely and carelessly as I did. I cherish those memories, even if they weren’t the best for me.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: Alright so… that’s a weird one. And what makes it weirder is that people have made that same question with me; it was either one horse-sized me, or 100 me-sized horses. Huh… I do have some background with chickens chasing after me, so I’d go with the 100 chicken-sized horses.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: I would 100% be the sucker that falls for the bad boy… ah… how I miss the high school bad boys.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: I don’t. Although I have no problem getting lost in those amazing universes where such creatures exist. 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: I absolutely love mango-flavored things but I cannot eat mango. Just the texture of the fruit…. Yuck. 

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: I write everything. So far, in the 2 years, I’ve been writing, I have experienced a little bit of everything. I think writing all those genres are important to complement the story. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: I never wrote anything that was mxm but I am ok with that. Besides, I have two stories out with an OC and the others are mostly with female readers, mostly because I write thinking about me with a member or one of my friends.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I was already using Tumblr to read other people’s work. When the thought of starting my own writing blog came to mind, it seemed the most logical option to use. I have only recently learned about AO3 so… yeah, Tumblr seemed the most “at reach” app.

When did you post your first piece?: The first thing I wrote was called Wonder and was posted on a private blog. I started writing it a couple of days after Euphoria by Jungkook BTS came out.

What inspires you to write?: Everyday situations are always a good base for me. I like to write moments that I have gone through. Besides that, I find inspiration on movies and tv shows and some Pinterest albums. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that comes to mind ehe

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’d say college/high school aus. I did a collab with another writer from a college au and it was a lot of fun. Additionally, I have some wips I am meaning to work on and will soon be presented on my blog! 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I think that I wanted them to feel okay. Life can get pretty hard and reading, for me, has always been like a getaway. So, whenever I write, I hope that I can distract my readers from whatever is happening in the real world. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Whenever I’m struggling in life, it’s almost as if I lose my ability to write. I get really stressed, especially when I set deadlines. I try my hardest to push through. I believe that writing, even if it’s not to our liking, is better than doing nothing. I try to read more, to sleep better, and to seek inspiration. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: I don’t think I have a “most successful” work. I am pretty recent to Tumblr and am still growing bit by bit. As for my favorite, I’d probably say Dr. Love. It started out as a fun Valentine’s Day fanfic and I have some good stuff outlined.

Who is your favorite person to write about?: As I said, I love to find inspiration in my friends. Getting the feedback and how much they enjoyed reading what I wrote really is a heartwarming feeling. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: I don’t think they are so different. Because when writing fanfiction, you’re not obliged to go 100% with the idol’s personality you’re writing. You have the freedom to marvel around in the worlds you create and make them do whatever you feel like would work best. So sometimes, it can be just like creating a whole new character from scratch. 

What do you think makes a good story?: There’s a lot of things that are needed to make a good story. I mostly value the storyline. I don’t like it when things are rushed and prefer to read something others may find unnecessary but get more context. I love the small little details about characters that make me relate and emphasize with them. Also, a plot twist. I love to read stories that completely blow my mind and catch me off guard. Creativity is everything.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Why not? I don’t have a problem with giving different names to my characters as long as the story stays the same.

What is your writing process like?: I prefer to write at night. But, as I said before, sometimes there’s just an urge to write and I have to grab my laptop, or even the pull out the notes on my phone and type out some words for the story I’m currently working on. I try to create a coherent storyline as well. Plus, I have an amazing beta reader that always helps me with the plot and hears my ideas and complements them. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: I love the typical “good girl falls for bad guy” trope. I don’t care if it’s cliché, I just love it. Although, I hate those where the girl is portraited as weak and as if she would ever be completely happy and fulfilled if the guy is by her side; as if she’s helpless without him. Girl power you know? Aha

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: It means A LOT. I think there’s no better feeling than receiving a piece of feedback, despite how small it might be. There’s always room for improvement and just the simple fact to know that someone took the time to read my work and found it interesting enough to send me their thoughts, I really cherish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: I believe that my growth for the past months I’ve been on Tumblr could be due to how active I am. I always try to engage with the people I follow and even when I’m not posting my works, I try to be around. I have big dreams for my blog and hope to one day have a large audience to read my stories, but for now, I am happy with the ones by my side already.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes. A lot of people think that fanfic writers are mostly horny/crazy teens that are obsessed with some famous wannabe that couldn’t even care less for their existence. I think that’s one of the biggest issues with how society sees us. But I consider those to be amongst older people (perhaps 40+yo). 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Of course. Art is one of the most personal ways of showing emotions, I believe. Being brave enough to show with the world your creations takes courage and I admire those who do it proudly. Art can be interpreted in so many ways; it overcomes all the barriers that there might be. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: The feeling can get to me sometimes but I immediately shut that down. There was a time when I was forcing myself to write things I didn’t appreciate or that didn’t follow my storyline just to make others happy and I had to give up on those projects quickly because it was driving me insane. I strongly believe that if we don’t write what we are passionate about, it will either come out sloppy or we will hate it. Writing what we like, even if some might consider it bad, is what we should do.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: I don’t think so. Although, I don’t receive as much feedback as I’d like to, so I’m not certain. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: Only my boyfriend does and he’s totally cool with it ehe

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: A big big thank you! I am so happy to have you here and I hope you can take some time to read over my works ehe I am always open to talk if anyone needs~ 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Just do it!!! I know there are so many great writers out there and you might feel like you would bring nothing to the game but that’s not true. You don’t need to be scared ok? It will be alright. Just give it a chance. There was a time where I was scared too and now I have made so many great friends and meet so many great people through my writing. You can make it too! 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: No. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: Yess!! I have made so many friends thanks to Tumblr! I mostly have to thank the amazing people of @bangtan-headquarters for accepting me into their network and making me part of their discord server. I’m not going to be @/ing everyone but I know I have made friends whom I will forever keep in my heart uwu 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” - Les Brown 

[addierose444]

Academic Advice for First-Years: Part I

Last week I posted some general college advice for first-years. Here I will delve into my academic advice. This post got really long, so I decided to break it up into two parts. In this part, I will provide some general advice on course selection, note-taking, and homework. Next week, I will be exploring the academic support systems on campus. I will first address a reader question that I received.

What is your favorite computer science course you have taken at Smith College? Thanks :)

That is a great question that I am unfortunately unprepared to answer as I have only taken a semester’s worth of computer science at Smith. The courses I took were How the Internet Works (CSC 102) and How Computers Work (CSC 103). (You can see a full list of my courses here). While I don’t want to perpetuate the notion of “humanities people” and “STEM people”, I do think that these introductory courses are best suited for someone curious about computer science but who is quite intimidated by it. Namely, these courses have a math designation for Latin Honors but are way less “mathy” than say calculus I. With that said, I still think the best place to start is Introduction to Computer Science Through Programming (CSC 111). Why? First of all, because you will learn programming rather than just theory. Secondly, CSC 111 is required for the major and minor whereas CSC 102/103 cannot be applied to a minor and do not serve as prerequisites for any other courses. It is worth noting that despite recommending CSC 111, I myself haven’t taken it because I was able to test out of it. While I’m sure that this wasn’t the answer you were looking for, be sure to keep an eye on the main blog for another Smithie’s response in the near future.

In terms of course registration, here is a post I wrote a few months ago. While that post was quite thorough, circumstances have definitely changed in intervening months. Specifically, you may now elect to take three courses (instead of four) in the fall and an additional full credit course during interterm. This may make sense in that it allows you to spread out your course load and to have something interesting to do during interterm. Really it just comes down to if any of the course offerings pique your interest. It is also worth thinking critically about which classes may be best to take this fall as opposed to in the spring. As building community will be more difficult this year, I more than ever would recommend enrolling in a first-year seminar. First-year seminars are great because of the small class size (caps of 16-20), varied topics, and writing focus. This writing focus is important because all first-year students are required to take a writing-intensive course and because writing is a crucial skill. 

Course selection ties nicely into my most general academic advice which is to build a strong relationship with your advisor and to learn to write effective emails. This relationship is important because it will improve the entire advising experience and efficacy. You can read more about advising at Smith here. In terms of emails, they are a key form of communication between you and your advisor, other professors, and your employer / prospective employer. In addition to proofreading papers that you submit, be sure to take the time to proofread carefully anything you send via email. In terms of the format, it is usually best to start with Dear Professor Last Name. If it’s someone you haven’t communicated with previously, be sure to introduce yourself. I like to include my first and last name, class year, and depending on the context, my majors. From there explain the situation and relevant questions. If there is a deadline or key question, bold text may be useful. Effective use of whitespace (paragraph breaks) and a concise but informative subject line are also important.  

In terms of actual classes, be sure to attend every lecture. College is different in that not all courses take attendance and grade participation. Obviously, if you are sick, definitely don’t attend class in person. If you are more severely ill, it may be necessary to completely miss class. Here is where effective emails and positive relationships with peers come in. This is also part of why attendance matters in the first place. For instance, say you routinely miss class for illegitimate reasons and then actually get sick. If you need some motivation to actually get up and go to class, consider the extremely high cost of tuition and subsequently high monetary value of an hour of class. 

Courses vary in how/if you should be taking notes. Courses that are discussion-based may require written preparation before class, but minimal in-class note-taking. In general, if the professor is lecturing you should be prepared to jot down the main ideas. The trick is to remain present in class. Namely, learn once by actively engaging with the material rather than trying to teach yourself later from verbatim notes. In terms of paper or digital notes, I vastly prefer digital notes. But between typed and handwritten notes, handwriting is better for actually learning and retaining information. This may sound like a contradictory answer, but my solution is writing on an iPad. You can read about the technology I use in college here. I also have a few posts on how I organize in college that can be found here. 

Actively participating in class means contributing to class discussions and asking questions when you are confusing. Seriously, do not be afraid to ask questions. This is key for your own learning and will likely benefit your peers as well. It is only if you wait too long to express your confusion that your question may end up being “stupid.” 

In terms of homework, the good news with college is that it is fairly predictable. First of all, key dates for exams and/or papers are outlined in the syllabus. Furthermore, courses often have a repeating structure for assignments. For instance, for my physics class, we had to read and virtually discuss the textbook by class time on Wednesdays and Fridays, we had a problem set due every Sunday, revisions due the following Wednesday, and a weekly quiz on Thursday. This predictable schedule allows you to better schedule when you will work on different assignments. Task management along with a study schedule help to keep you from getting too overwhelmed with all of your assignments. You can click here to read about a few task management systems I have used.