#i think showing the worst of a character like that and THEN going back to make them sympathetic is stupid as fuck
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Birthday Kiss | Nightcrawler x Reader | One Shot
Author's Note: I find out an hour after waking up at almost 3pm it's Kurt's birthday... had to write something for the blue lad... German translations at the bottom !!
Summery: It was known by everyone except you two that there was something... awkward between you and Kurt. The exchanges of glances when the other wasn't looking, the way your laughs trailed off... Nothing but tonight was the end of all that.
Themes: Birthday, First Kiss, Fluff OMG, so much Fluff, Mutual Crush, Open Ending, Alcohol/Drinking Mention, Awkwardness, Flirting, Guest Appearance of lots of characters, Kissing (duh), Kurt Has a Beard and Forked Tongue (because fuck you), His face is also skin (not fur), Shorter!R (<5'9), R is a mutant/x-man (No Powers Written).
Word Count: 1.4k
The X-Men knew that Kurt wasn't one to like big celebrations, but that didn't stop them from forcing him out of his comfort zone. They rented out a mutant friendly restaurant for the blue boy's birthday. He had to be quite literally dragged by the hair into Wolverine's jeep to go. It was a site to see, really.
But you were happy to see him warm up to the idea as you crawled into the backseat next to him, his tail stopping it's anxious swishing to wrap around you and bring you closer. This made the both of you blush, his cheeks a faint purple.
"So... you knew about all, uh...this?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.
"Who do you think brought up having a party?" You laugh, smile beaming as you look up at him. His blush deepens at the thought.
"Was?? Since when?!" He laughs, shaking his head as he tried to hide behind his hands. You reach out and pull his hands away from his face, his yellow eyes widening at the sudden act.
"The first, duh. I knew your birthday was coming up, and I wanted to make sure you knew we cared for you, Blau." You say, quickly watching his reaction, which was much softer than you imagined it would me.
"Well, I should have excepted it from mein Freundchen, huh?" He laughs, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you flush against his side. If it weren't for the slight bumps of the road, your ear would be flat against his chest. He quickly puts his knuckles against your scalp and gives you a noogie.
"Keep it civil back there, kids." The gruff voice of the driver and owner of the jeep said, cigar smoke puffing out his mouth as he spoke.
"Sorry, Logan!" You respond, pushing Kurt off of you, your own cheeks hot with blush. You look over to Rogue, who sat on the other side of Kurt, watching the two of you with a small smirk on her face. "What're you looking at?"
"Oh, nothin', sugar." She says, eyes darting between you and your friend, before turning to look out the window. You weren't sure what she meant, but quickly turned your attention back to Kurt, who shrugs and laughs. You watch as he turns to his sister and gets her attention with his tail.
You watch the two siblings mingle, resulting in both of them laughing about some inside joke. It made your heart flutter to hear him laugh, a big change from the man that didn't even want to celebrate his birthday, having to be dragged out of his room by you and Rogue, forced to get dressed in something slightly fancy, and shoved into the car.
The rest of the trip into town was filled with Wolverine's radio blaring some classic rock, small talk and jokes from the back sit of probably the worst trio to get on Logan's nerves, and the wind blowing through the car from the windows. You all finally arrived at the restaurant, having to wait in the jeep for the others. You get out and stretch your legs, quickly followed by Kurt as he sits back against the jeep, arms stretched high into the air.
You can't help but watch the way his white shirt slightly raises, showing just a bit of the blue fur underneath. You blush once again, quickly looking away before he can see. He finishes stretching, holding the front closure of his leather jacket. "You alright, mein Schatz?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry." You wave him off, seeing two more cars pull into the parking lot. You smile widely, grabbing his wrist, "Come on birthday boy."
Kurt's glowing yellow eyes widen as you pull him along towards the others, a humbled laugh leaving his throat as his tail swishes anxiously behind him. The two of you start a conversation with the others, Scott and Hank both giving Kurt a pat on the back as they greet him. You can't help but notice, even with all the people around, he's staring right at you majority of the time.
The party quickly moves inside, a slight rain picking up in the city. The restaurant was on the top floor of the building, high in the sky with a nice balcony. It wasn't that much a big room, the X-Men filling it up pretty well with the amounts of guests. You were quickly separated from Kurt as he was dragged to the bar by some of the guys. You watched from a distance as they all took a shot. You kind of wished you were there to see what they cheered to, but it was less important than the gossip that Warren was spilling to the small group you found yourself apart of.
The night continued on, food being brought and distributed among everyone. You heard a ring of glass being hit with something metal, getting everyone's attention as Scott stood in the middle of the room.
"Hello, everyone! Thank you all for coming out, truly. We're about to bring out the cake and play happy birthday, so if you'd all like to come over here," He gestured to the table next to him, a spot blank for the cake, "That'd be great, thanks!"
He quickly turned around and started talking with Jean and Logan. You looked around for Kurt, spotting him close to the table with a tail wrapped around his leg. You walked over to him, putting a hand around him in a side hug. "Hey, what's up?"
"Oh! Nothing, just... this is all wunderbar, liebe, I'm just a little... over stimulated?" He laughs out. You understand what he means, grabbing his wrist once more and pulling him towards the balcony.
"Then let's get some air, yeah?" You say, looking back at him and pausing before you step out the door. He nods, walking out with you into the cold air of the New York night. You both sigh, finally away from the loud party. You watch as Kurt walks to the balcony edge, leaning himself against the bars.
"Thank you," He grins, "for everything. I didn't think I'd want to be here, but it's very nice that you arranged this whole thing."
"Oh, it wasn't just me. We all pitched in. I just picked the music and decorations, really." You admit, trying to stay humble as your cheeks burned.
"Ja, but, you know," He turns back to you with a toothy grin, his fangs glinting in the moonlight, "it wouldn't have happened if you didn't ask to have a party."
You nod, understanding what he says but still not wanting to take all the credit. Before you can respond, he teleports behind you, the air around you surrounded with the familiar brimstone and ash smell. He places his hands on your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. The feeling of his goatee lingers on your skin as he pull back. "Danke, mein Fraund."
If your face didn't already feel hot, it now felt like it was on fire, your blush dripping to your neck and ears at the gesture. You look over at him, a genuine smile on your lips. "You're very welcome, Kurt." You say, turning around and wrapping your arms around his middle. You nuzzle against his chest.
You both stay there for a few moments, taking it in. You pull away first, heart pounding as the thought of your next action. Your hands travel up to Kurt's face, holding it in place as you stand on your tiptoes. "And... you're welcome for this." You say softly before pressing your lips flush against his own.
Kurt tenses up for a moment, the glow of his eyes disappearing as he closes his eyes, leaning further into the kiss. This shocked you, making you gasp, taken aback as his forked tongue licks across your bottom lip. He pulls you closer into him, a hand combing through your hair and holding your head in place.
You open your mouth, allowing him access into it. He chuckles softly, tail snaking around your hips. The kiss feels like it lasts forever, the two of you tangling in one another. When he finally pulls away, your eyes open to the sight of his cheeks a deep violet, feeling his breath pant against your lips as he presses your foreheads together.
"Did... that really just happen?" He asks, voice hoarse.
"Yeah, it did... It very much did, Kurt." You respond, pressing your lips against his again, but only for a moment. "Think of it as... a birthday gift, yeah?"
"I think a birthday kiss is the best thing you could have given me, Liebchen." Kurt laughs, capturing your lips once again.
"Was?" = What? "Blau" = Blue. "mein Freundchen" = My friend (in a condescending/playful way). "mein Schatz" = My treasure/My darling/My sweetheart. "Wunderbar" = Wonderful. "Liebe" = Love. "Ja" = Yes. "Danke, mein Fraund" = Thank you, my friend. "Liebchen" = Darling.
#kurt wagner#kurt wagner x reader#kurt wagner xmen#nightcrawler#nightcrawler x reader#x men#x men 97#x men comics#x men movies#x men nightcrawler#x men x reader#x reader#xmen#xmen nightcrawler#xmen x reader
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I have conflicted feelings about the whole "copeganda" thing. On the one hand of course police procedurals have problems, portray cops of the good guys, etc. show rule breaking to get the "bad guy" as valid. i do see the problem there.
But on the other hand it feels like anti logic to say "you enjoyed x tv show so clearly you condone real world atrocities, you horrible person." And then you see people claiming that sam vimes or ACD Sherlock holmes are copeganda. or that fans watching a show where their fav actor plays a police officer are clearly racist. Or that all little kids who like paw patrol are somehow suspect or corrupted. And I worry we've lost the plot to another x media / depicting x is unredeemable crusade rather than trying to be mindful of the biases and messages in media.
Idk. Thoughts?
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Copaganda is dangerous because it's a staple of CBS prime time et al. It tends to do things like make Internal Affairs evil in all cases. Even when you get the rare IA character who was arguably good for like 6 seasons or something, they'll still go evil for drama late in a show's run. (CSI: Miami, I'm looking at you.)
This is media with a massive reach that almost always reinforces a host of already extremely common social values, so it's going to be extra impactful relative to something like House of the Dragon incest.
We had some discussion here in the past about the measurable real world effect of B99 on people's opinions of the real NYPD. I'm much more willing to entertain people's fears about media when there are measurable effects and the audience size is large. I don't think we should ban cop shows, but there's a reason I like Miami Vice so much: it's noir, so everyone is horrible, including the authorities. While it was still extremely establishment-y, it managed to question the system a lot more than most of these simply by virtue of being a much darker show.
Mystery genre of various types isn't going away. It's a genre that really is copeganda: It's about social order being restored and making the world make sense.
We can be aware of some of the more insidious messages and push back against them though. It's like the torture thing: a lot of media wants to argue about whether the ends justify the means, but that whole complex philosophical can of worms is irrelevant since torture doesn't produce useful results in the first place.
Copaganda tends to not only make cops seem cool but portray villains stereotypically, demonize the important work of investigating cops themselves, justify police brutality, etc. There are a lot of specific problems that do not have to exist in media about cops solving mysteries. These are choices that mainstream US tv is making.
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One thing I will say though... Mystery as a genre, including the worst of US cop shows, has often been far ahead of sff in diversity and even exploring contentious social topics. Geeks tend to think sff is so ahead of its time, but it's often pretty stick-in-the-mud compared to crime stuff. (Cue all the individual examples where it's the opposite way. Haha.)
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Nathan's Parked
(All characters are 18+)
Nathan Parker had never quite fit in at Westbrook High. He was the kind of guy who spent his lunch breaks huddled in the back corner of the library, buried in books about superheroes or playing online games. He had thick glasses, messy brown hair that he never quite knew what to do with, and an awkward way of talking that made him stand out in the worst possible way. He didn’t have many friends, and his idea of a "good time" was usually just scrolling through fan fiction on his phone or studying for tests he didn't care much about. Nathan had long accepted that he would always be the geeky loner.
And then there was the secret he kept hidden from everyone: Nathan was gay, and while he didn’t mind the solitude, it would have been nice to share his feelings with someone.
But that was a far-off dream, something he'd shoved into the deepest parts of his heart. Who would want someone like him? Especially at a school where the jocks and cheerleaders ruled the social hierarchy, and someone like him was just… invisible.
One afternoon, after a grueling chemistry class, Nathan found himself wandering the aisles of the local drugstore, searching for something—anything—that might make him feel a little less out of place. He was heading to the deodorant section when something unusual caught his eye.
It was a sleek, black can of deodorant sitting alone on a shelf. Eclipse™ it was called, with the tagline: "Unleash your potential."
Nathan chuckled at the marketing slogan. "Sure, right," he muttered. He had no reason to believe that some fancy deodorant could change his life, but he figured it was worth a try. After all, he was desperate enough to give anything a shot.
As he sprayed the deodorant under his arms, a strange tingling sensation washed over him. Nathan shook his head, laughing at himself. Maybe it was some sort of psychological thing, he thought—his imagination running wild. He glanced at himself in the mirror and froze.
His reflection was… different.
His hair—messy and unkempt just moments ago—was now styled into a perfect wavy middle part, dark brown strands flowing effortlessly in a way that seemed entirely new. His face was sharper, more defined, and somehow more… masculine. His eyes no longer looked tired and worn-out but bright and confident. And his posture—his shoulders were broader, his chest fuller—he stood taller, more at ease.
Nathan blinked. Was this some kind of weird trick of the lighting? He reached up to touch his hair, but his fingers only confirmed what he feared: it wasn’t just his imagination. He was different. His clothes had changed too—gone was his oversized graphic tee and cargo shorts. Now, he wore a tight black compression shirt that showed off a toned chest, a sleek grey hoodie, a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly, and a letterman jacket draped casually over his shoulders. His shoes—new white trainers—looked like something right out of a sports magazine.
"Okay," he whispered to himself, "what the hell is going on?"
A sudden movement caught his eye, and when he turned, he saw a group of cheerleaders walking toward him. A few of them—Liana, Amanda, and Jenna—had been in his chemistry class earlier. But they'd never looked his way before. Now, as they approached, their eyes lit up with recognition. Or maybe it was something else… admiration?
"Hey there, Nathan," Liana said with a playful smile. "Wow, you look… different."
Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was deeper now, smoother, more self-assured. "Yeah, I guess I’ve… changed a little."
Amanda giggled, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Changed? You look like you’ve had a total makeover or something. I mean, you used to hide behind those glasses and all that—what are you doing now, hitting the gym?"
Nathan tried to think of a reply, but his mind was a little foggy. He didn’t recognize himself anymore, but he couldn’t help but feel good about the attention. He could feel his chest puffing out, his muscles subtly flexing under the tight shirt, as though his body was responding to the change.
"Yeah," he said with a grin that felt more natural than he expected. "I’ve been hitting the gym… working on a few things."
Liana stepped closer, her eyes glinting with interest. "Well, whatever you're doing, it's working. You should come hang out with us at the game this weekend. We’ve got a big pep rally, and it could be fun. You’d fit right in with the team now."
Nathan blinked. Hang out with them? The cheerleaders? He was just a nerdy kid who kept to himself. But the idea of being part of their world—their confident, carefree world—was suddenly too tempting to ignore. He felt a surge of something that felt like excitement. And… pride? A new sense of self-confidence he couldn’t quite explain.
"I’d like that," he said without hesitation, the words coming out effortlessly. "I’ll be there."
The days that followed felt like a whirlwind for Nathan. In a matter of days, he’d gone from being the awkward, socially-inept loner to one of the most talked-about guys at Westbrook High. His new look and newfound swagger made him the center of attention. The cheerleaders treated him like one of their own, and he soon found himself hanging out with them after school, practicing football moves with the jocks, and getting invited to parties where people actually wanted him around.
But the more Nathan embraced his new persona, the more he realized how much he was changing—not just physically, but mentally. He wasn’t the shy, introverted guy anymore. He was Max Hunter, the popular, athletic jock with a cocky attitude to match. His confidence quickly turned to arrogance, and before long, he was acting like the kind of guy he used to despise.
"Yo, check this out," Max said one afternoon, tossing a football up and down in front of his football buddies, Blake and Trevor. "This is how it’s done, alright?" He spun the ball effortlessly in his hands before tossing it across the field, landing it perfectly in Blake’s arms.
Blake threw him a high-five. "Damn, Max, you’ve been killing it lately. You're the new king around here."
Max grinned, his eyes flashing with arrogance. "Damn straight. It’s all about putting in the work and looking good while doing it. Don't know why I wasted all that time reading comics before."
Trevor chuckled, shaking his head. "Man, you’ve changed. But in a good way."
Max gave a half-smirk. "Of course I’ve changed. I’m Max now. I’m not some nerdy little nobody anymore." He ran a hand through his hair, letting the group admire his perfect waves. "And it’s about time the world noticed."
As the week went on, Max’s new life was in full swing. He’d been casually hooking up with pretty much every cheerleader in school. It started with Liana, of course. She was beautiful, confident, and everyone’s idea of the "perfect girl." Max had charmed her with his cocky smile and athletic physique, and within days, they were seeing each other.
But as Max quickly realized, he was no longer someone who got tied down. As soon as Liana wasn’t around, he started flirting with other girls—cheerleaders, mostly—and eventually found himself in a casual, yet thrilling, rotation of hookups. He’d dated and slept with Amanda, Jenna, and even a few girls from rival schools, all while keeping up the pretense of being in a committed relationship with Liana.
The funny thing? They didn’t care. It didn’t matter how many times Max cheated on them—he was Max Hunter, and somehow, that made everything excusable. Each cheerleader, knowing full well about the others, would still smile whenever he showed up to practice, each one thinking she was the one who had his true attention. And Max let them believe it. He was the star of the show, and they were just happy to be along for the ride.
After all, when you looked like he did—when you had the physique, the style, and the swagger—you didn’t need to commit. They all wanted a piece of him, and he was more than happy to oblige.
But as Max looked in the mirror again, something clicked. He wasn’t just Nathan anymore. The person staring back at him—confident, athletic, popular—wasn’t Nathan Parker at all.
He had a new name.
"Max," he whispered, testing the name on his tongue. It felt right. Max Hunter. Strong. Powerful. The kind of guy who everyone knew, and who everyone wanted to know. A jock. The kind of guy who got the girl, the attention, and the respect.
As Max adjusted his letterman jacket and ran his fingers through his perfectly styled hair, he realized something: this wasn’t just a new look. It was a new life.
Maybe, just maybe, this was the person he was always meant to be.
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Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here
I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.
First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.
First Note of Love
I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though.
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo
This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.
I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.
Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.
Apple My Love
Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them.
Haunted Hearts
I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.
My Damn Business
This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to.
Eccentric Romance
This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes.
See Your Love
I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete.
Love is Like a Poison
This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year.
Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon
MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.
Our Youth
We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together.
Smells Like Green Spirit
Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s.
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days
I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.
Interview With the Vampire Season 2
I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.
I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.
Dropped Shows
Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:
Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see
Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.
Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.
Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.
Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.
Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show.
Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?
I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.
Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.
#Ben watches#first note of love#let free the curse of taekwondo#apple my love#haunted hearts#my damn business#eccentric romance#see your love#love is like a poison#doku koi: doku mo sugireba koi to naru#love in the air koi#love in the air: koi no yokan#our youth#miseinen#smells like green spirit#blue canvas of youthful days#interview with the vampire#bl series#japanese bl#thai gl#taiwanese bl#chinese bl#filipino bl#korean bl
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daddy's girl! (enemies to lovers)
summary: beomgyu's teasing is getting out of hand, and you're constantly left wondering what you did to deserve it. does he hate you? and if he does, why don't you hate him? your major crush on him certainly doesn't help. when he's teasing you, all you can do is stare at him, wondering if he’d ever like you back.
genre: FLUFFFFFF
characters: beomgyu x f!reader
words: 9668
warnings: none!!!
You’ve always considered Beomgyu the single biggest annoyance in your office. He’s the type who breezes into work with a cocky grin, always a little too casual, always quick with a teasing comment that seems specifically designed to get under your skin.
You’ve somehow managed to ignore him for your first few months in the company, but recently over the year, he’s been… everywhere. Offering to help with projects he has no reason to be near, popping into your workspace with coffee, even catching your eye during meetings.
And the worst part? Lately, instead of just being annoyed, you’ve started noticing things: the way his laughter lights up the room, or how he remembers your favorite coffee order, including yours. It’s maddening, and the more you try to brush it off, the harder it is to ignore that twist in your stomach whenever he’s around.
And...you hated every bit of it, you think. Every time he’d tease you—calling you “princess” when you were stressed, smirking when he made you flustered—it was like he was actively trying to get a rise out of you. And it worked. Every. Single. Time.
“Boo.”
The word was barely a whisper, but it made you jump so hard that your coffee slipped right out of your hand, splattering across your dress in a warm, sticky mess. You whipped around, finding Beomgyu standing there, barely holding back a laugh as he took in the damage he’d caused.
“Beomgyu,” you gritted out, grabbing a paper towel in a futile attempt to dab at the stain. “Do you enjoy terrorizing your coworkers, or am I just special?”
He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as he watched you with an amused tilt of his head. “I don’t know, maybe I just have a soft spot for you.” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
You rolled your eyes, fully aware of his gaze lingering on you as you tried to clean up. “You’re impossible,” you muttered, hoping he couldn’t see the faint pink on your cheeks.
He shrugged, a slow, lazy smile creeping onto his face. “You know you’d miss me if I didn’t keep things interesting.”
You didn’t reply. Instead, you shot him your best death glare, then turned sharply on your heel, whipping your ponytail right in his face. A small, satisfied smirk tugged at the corner of your lips as you heard him stifle a surprised cough behind you.
“Mm, raspberry,” he said suddenly, taking an exaggerated whiff. “Nice shampoo choice.”
You spun back around, crossing your arms and giving him a look that could curdle milk. “Dude!” you snapped, appalled—and maybe a little flustered. “People are staring.” You shot a glance at a few of your coworkers, who were desperately stifling their laughter.
Everyone in the office was all too familiar with the occasional “spat” between you and Beomgyu. For some reason, the two of you bickering like an old married couple had become prime entertainment around here.
He laughed, completely unbothered. “They’re just enjoying the show.” His grin didn’t waver as he looked at your coffee-stained dress with obvious amusement.
“I’m not in the mood for this,” you muttered, pushing him aside as you made a swift exit out of the pantry. “Not after you’ve essentially soaked me from head to toe with coffee.”
“Okay, okay.” He jogged up beside you, catching your arm just as you were about to storm off. Your eyes dropped to his hand on your arm, a spark of warmth rushing up to your cheeks. You’d blame it on surprise, but you couldn’t deny the way your heart picked up speed at the contact.
Beomgyu seemed to notice, too, because he let go almost immediately, a flicker of something in his expression—guilt? Amusement? You couldn’t quite tell. He recovered quickly, though, shooting you an apologetic smile that, annoyingly, looked almost… genuine.
“C’mon,” he said, voice softer than before. “I have an extra shirt at my desk. It’s clean, I promise.”
You crossed your arms, trying to look unimpressed, even though you were already considering it. “And why exactly would I want to wear your shirt?”
He raised an eyebrow, smirk slipping back into place. “Because…you either wear my shirt or walk around smelling like a coffee spill all day.” His eyes glinted with a challenge.
Your glare returned, but this time, you hesitated, the discomfort of your soaked clothes settling in. With a huff, you crossed your arms. “Fine,” you relented, narrowing your eyes.
A few minutes later, you were standing in the bathroom, staring at the shirt Beomgyu had handed you. You sighed, the absurdity of the situation slowly sinking in. There was no way you were going to wear this. You could practically feel your dignity slipping away with every second you stood there.
“Doing good in there?” Beomgyu’s voice floated in from the other side of the door, his tone teasing.
“Choi Beomgyu,” you called out, your voice dripping with disbelief. “I am not wearing this.”
From the other side, you could hear his laughter, muffled but still unmistakably filled with overconfidence. “I don’t think you have a choice.”
With a sigh, you stepped out of the bathroom, already bracing yourself for the inevitable ridicule. The moment you emerged, you looked up to see Beomgyu standing there, absolutely dying of laughter. His eyes formed perfect crescents, his whole face lit up in a way that made your heart beat faster than it did before.
It was a bright, obnoxious shade of pink, with Beomgyu’s face cartoonishly plastered on the front, a goofy grin matching the bold words scrawled across it: “Daddy’s Girl.”
Beomgyu was clutching his stomach, laughing so hard he could barely stand. "Oh my god," he gasped between breaths. "You look—" He paused, wiping tears from his eyes. "You look adorable."
You stood there, face flushed with embarrassment, glaring at him. “Why do you even have this damn shirt?”
His laughter slowly died down, but that infuriating grin of his remained. “It was a gift from Soobin,” he said, shrugging nonchalantly. “I just never expected to see it on you. However, I do have to say…” He trailed off, his grin widening as he stepped a little closer.
“What?” You didn’t want to ask, but it was already too late.
“Well, you pull it off better than I expected. Almost like you actually are Daddy’s Girl.” His voice dropped a little as he teased the last part, his tone playful and teasing. He inched closer to you, his presence suddenly a little too close for comfort.
“Y-you’re... an asshole,” you stammered, pushing him in his chest with more force than necessary.
You walked away, but you could still hear his laughter echoing behind you, completely unbothered that he had essentially broken down all your walls.
Your cheeks were burning, but as much as you wanted to keep the little pride you had left, you couldn’t help but suppress a grin that tugged at the corners of your lips. Beomgyu might be the last person you'd ever want to give the satisfaction of seeing you flustered, but there you were, cheeks red, heart racing, and trying to hide the smile that was slowly creeping across your face.
You could hear him still chuckling in the distance, and, despite your best efforts, a part of you almost hated how contagious his laughter was.
–
The whole office seemed to be buzzing with energy as everyone gathered for the afternoon meeting. You tried to act normal, to slip into the routine of things, but the moment you walked into the conference room, you felt it—the eyes. The teasing smiles. The laughter that seemed to linger just behind every glance directed your way.
You walked to your usual spot, only to have Soobin glance over at you with a mischievous grin. "So," he started, his tone light but laced with something that made you instantly uneasy, "How does it feel to be Daddy’s Girl?" His words were casual, but there was no mistaking the gleam of amusement in his eyes.
Your face immediately flushed, and you could already feel the heat creeping up your neck. "What? No! That's not—" You stammered, but your words faltered, and before you could regain your composure, Yeonjun jumped in.
“Oh my God,” he teased, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Didn’t expect the whole ‘Daddy’s Girl’ look to work for you, but Beomgyu definitely has good taste. You make that shirt look way better than he does.”
“Seriously? He spilled coffee–” You attempted to explain, but quickly gave up, realizing no one was really listening, too busy giggling. “Beomgyu, aren’t you going to explain why I have to wear this?”
“Because you’re daddy’s girl?” He laughed, clearly enjoying the moment way too much
The entire table broke into laughter, with some of the interns joining in, adding their own playful remarks about how you and Beomgyu seemed to be “matching in more ways than one” and how “that shirt definitely tells a story.”
Trying to maintain some dignity, you crossed your arms and glared at Beomgyu, who had his usual half-smirk on his lips, though his eyes held a playful spark. “You really had to do this, didn’t you?” you muttered, barely able to mask the irritation creeping into your voice.
Beomgyu’s grin widened. "I didn’t know you’d look so cute in it," he teased, completely unbothered. "Guess I should have made you wear it sooner."
“Seriously, Beomgyu?” You shot back, rolling your eyes.
—
The next day at work, you walked into the office with a scowl, still trying to shake off the embarrassing memory from yesterday. You had barely managed to avoid Beomgyu for most of the morning, but as you rounded the corner to your desk, you found him standing there—leaning casually against your cubicle wall, as if he’d been waiting for you.
He looked up with that all-too-familiar grin, the same one that had made your cheeks flush the day before. "Well, well, if it isn’t Daddy’s Girl," he teased, his voice dripping with that playful tone you couldn't escape.
You groaned inwardly, trying to hide the heat rushing to your face. "You’re really not going to let that go, are you?"
Beomgyu shrugged nonchalantly, still smiling like he was having the time of his life. "I mean, it’s a pretty good look on you," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You might want to consider keeping it as your new work uniform. Though, of course, you still look good in this little office siren look you’re going for.” He looked you up and down, making you feel suddenly self-conscious.
You couldn’t help but push his face away, trying to avoid his gaze, and quickly looked away, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. "You're impossible," you muttered under your breath, focusing on anything but him.
Beomgyu paused, his eyes back on you, "You look good," he said, this time a little more serious, like he meant what he was saying.
You blinked, caught off guard by the shift in his tone. For a moment, the usual playful mischief was gone, and it was just him, staring at you with an intensity you hadn’t expected. You looked at him, unsure of how to respond, the tension in the air suddenly making you feel even more awkward.
"And you’re still annoying," you snapped, trying to regain control of the conversation, though your voice betrayed a hint of something softer beneath the words. You looked away, unable to meet his gaze for too long.
“Okay, okay. Look, I’m sorry if I took things a little too far yesterday,” he apologized.
You examined his face for any sign of mischief, but soon realized he was being sincere. You nodded, walking away.
—--
A few hours of working in silence passed, everyone was in their own little cubicle typing away with whatever they had to.
Just as you were getting into the groove of things, you heard footsteps approaching. Soobin’s voice broke through the quiet office. "Hey," he greeted, leaning on your desk with a smile. "Where’s your Daddy?" He raised an eyebrow playfully, clearly teasing about Beomgyu.
You blinked at him, caught off guard by the sudden question. "My what?" you repeated, confused for a moment before you realized what he meant. "Oh, please, don’t encourage him," you groaned, rubbing your temples.
Soobin chuckled. "I mean, you are Daddy’s girl, aren’t you?" He laughed again, clearly enjoying your discomfort, making you glare at his way. "Anyway, wanna grab lunch? We haven’t done that in a while.”
“As long as you stop calling me that.” You rolled your eyes.
Soobin raised his hands defensively, smirking. “Alright, alright. Fine.”
“I just have like a couple more e-mails to sort out.”
“Got it. I’ll wait for you outside.”
You went back to typing, trying to wrap up your task quickly so Soobin wouldn’t have to wait too long. You were back to focusing, but just as you were picking up the pace, you felt hands cover your eyes from behind.
“Beomgyu,” you muttered without looking up from your screen.
Beomgyu’s voice came in soft and teasing. “How’d you know it was me?”
You rolled your eyes, pushing his hands away. “You’re the only one who bothers me when I’m trying to do work.”
He chuckled, sliding into the chair next to your desk. “Guess you just know me so well, huh?” His eyes twinkled with mischief.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” you said, shaking your head as you finished up a few last details.
There was a minute of silence before you finally did look up at him. Beomgyu hated to admit how cute you looked when you looked up at him—your eyes meeting him with that slight furrow in your brow, your hair falling perfectly around your face. It took everything in him not to smile, but he quickly masked it with his usual smirk.
“So what do you want?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you finished up a few last details.
“Lunch with daddy?” he replied with a casual grin, though his eyes held a glint of something that made your stomach flutter.
“Oh, I’ve already made plans with Soobin, dad” you said, not thinking much of it as you slipped your phone into your bag.
“Soobin?” Beomgyu’s voice hardened ever so slightly, but you didn’t catch the shift at first. He leaned forward in his chair, eyes narrowing just a touch.
You shrugged, focusing on gathering your things. “Yeah, just grabbing lunch. We haven’t hung out in a while.”
Beomgyu’s smirk faltered for a second, his usual confidence slipping just enough for you to notice. But before you could react, he leaned back, his demeanor slipping into something more casual, though there was still that slight edge to his words. “Right. Of course. Soobin.”
You looked at him, slightly confused by his changed demeanor. “Okay?” you replied, furrowing your eyebrows.
Beomgyu didn’t immediately respond. He just leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest as he watched you. There was a tension in the air now, something unspoken, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. His eyes, which were usually so playful, were now unreadable, like he was deep in thought.
“Yeah,” he finally said, his tone back to its usual teasing edge, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Enjoy your lunch, I guess.”
—-
During lunch, your mind replayed the previous scene with Beomgyu one too many times. Why was he so pissy after you mentioned going to lunch with Soobin? Weren’t they good friends? Why was he being so dramatic? Crazy ass, you thought to yourself.
“Are you even listening?” Soobin’s voice pulled you back to the present.
You snapped out of your thoughts. “Sorry,” you mumbled, offering him an apologetic smile.
Soobin raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been acting weird since we left for lunch. Did you even hear my harrowing story about how Beomgyu’s been acting up at home?”
Right, they’re roommates, you remembered, a pang of curiosity hitting you. “Wait, what did he do now?”
Soobin chuckled, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t believe it—he’s been sulking around the apartment lately, for reasons he won’t even explain. Just moody and snippy about everything.” He leaned in, lowering his voice. “I’m starting to think he’s hiding something.”
You couldn’t help but wonder if Beomgyu’s strange mood earlier was connected. Trying to play it cool, you asked, “Does he, like…do that often?”
“Nope, which is why it’s weird. And this all seemed to start around…” Soobin paused, giving you a suspicious look, “…around the time you two started bickering at work.”
“Oh please,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Don’t blame this on me.”
Soobin laughed, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “Hey, I’m not saying anything,” he teased, though his smirk suggested otherwise. “Actually… there is one thing that might explain it.”
“What is it?” you asked, curiosity and a tinge of dread mixing in your voice.
“Well,” Soobin began, leaning in a little, “he was on the phone with one of our friends the other night, talking about some girl he’s into.”
Your heart did a little flip. A girl he’s into? Was it you?
“Yeah, someone from his yoga class,” Soobin added, watching you carefully.
Oh. Yoga class. You didn’t go to yoga. You felt a mix of relief and… something else you didn’t want to admit to yourself.
“Oh,” you said, trying to sound indifferent, though your disappointment was evident. “That’s… nice.”
Soobin tilted his head, amused. “You sound thrilled.”
“I am thrilled,” you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes. “Glad he’s happy. Maybe then he’ll stop fucking with me.”
Soobin leaned back, watching your expression with that same knowing look. "Yeah, apparently she's, like, really flexible," he said, barely holding back a grin.
You forced a casual nod, hoping your face didn’t betray you. "Good for him, then."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying your reaction. “What, you’re not jealous, are you?”
“What?” You scoffed, trying to brush off the question, but your voice came out a bit too defensive. “Why would I be jealous?”
Soobin chuckled, leaning forward. "I mean, you guys do spend half your time arguing, and the other half looking at each other like... well, like something is going on.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you said, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “We’re just… coworkers. Besides, he’s obviously into some yoga girl I’ve never even met. Who’s apparently really flexible.”
"Uh-huh," Soobin said, raising his hands in mock surrender, but the glint in his eyes told you he wasn’t buying it. "Well, for what it’s worth," he added, "I don’t think he actually likes yoga that much."
“Oh, sure. I don’t actually care,” you replied, trying to sound casual.
“Really?” he asked, eyebrows raised in amused disbelief.
“Really,” you said, the words coming out a little too firmly—as if you were trying to convince yourself as much as him.
Soobin’s gaze dropped to your plate, and he chuckled softly. “Then why’ve you mashed your rice into porridge?”
You looked down, realizing your grip on the spoon was practically turning your knuckles white.
Your face heated with embarrassment, and you shot Soobin a glare. “You seem to be really enjoying this, Soobin. What happened to ‘I missed you, let’s catch up’? You’re practically using our only hour to tease me.”
Soobin laughed, leaning back in his chair with an innocent shrug. “Hey, I am catching up. I just happen to find your love life… fascinating.”
You rolled your eyes, attempting to brush it off. “It’s not my love life.”
“Right. Just your very intense work rivalry,” he said, grinning. “But fine, I’ll ease up. For now.”
—
You sighed, glancing at the clock. Just one more hour, and you’d be free. It was Friday, and the idea of slipping into bed and sleeping through the night was the only thing keeping you going. Unlike your coworkers, who were always up for late-night drinks, you had a steadfast love for sleep.
Well, at least until…
“You coming tonight?”
Startled, you looked up to see Beomgyu leaning against your cubicle. His hair was slightly tousled from a long day, and somehow, he looked even better when he was a little worn out. You felt a pang of frustration at yourself for even noticing.
“Where?”
“The team’s going out for drinks,” he said, his voice casual but his eyes fixed on you.
You hesitated, glancing away. “I don’t know. I was planning on just heading home,” you replied, trying to ignore the way he made it hard to focus on anything but him.
He tilted his head, a playful smile forming. “Come on, you’re always skipping out on these things. One night won’t hurt.”
You rolled your eyes, pretending to be unimpressed. “Right, because I’m sure you’re really hoping I’ll be there.”
“I was,” he paused, then corrected himself, “I am.” He looked at you seriously, as if making sure you knew he wasn’t joking or lying.
“I—I…” You stammered, unsure of what to say.
“Please?” He added, his tone softening, almost like a plea.
“Fine.”
—
The bar was buzzing with the chatter and laughter of your coworkers. The group had claimed about four or five tables, but you’d positioned yourself at the bar, seated on a stool. You weren’t sure why you even agreed to come—maybe it was Beomgyu’s pleading, or maybe the way his eyes softened when he asked you. Damn it, he could be so cute without even trying.
You stirred your drink, watching it swirl as your mind wandered. Every so often, you glanced over to where Beomgyu was standing, sandwiched between two tables. He was in his element, effortlessly drawing people in with that easy, curse that confident charm of his. His laughter filled the air as he joked with your colleagues, their faces lighting up at whatever he’d just said.
He had a way of making even the most mundane conversation feel like the most interesting thing in the room. His smile, his gestures, the way his eyes sparkled when he said something funny—it was like he could command the room without even trying. It was no wonder people were drawn to him, and you couldn’t help but be drawn in too, even if you didn’t want to admit it.
You watched as he shifted from one group to the next, always moving with such ease, always the center of attention. His effortless charm left a weird knot in your stomach, but also a strange flutter, something you didn’t quite know how to process.
Damn it, you thought again, taking another sip of your drink. You were making yourself dizzy just watching him.
“You’re going to catch flies with the way you’re staring at Beomgyu,” Soobin teased, leaning back in his chair with a mischievous grin. He placed a finger under your chin, gently tilting your head up.
You sighed, trying to brush off the comment, swatting his hand away. “Soobin,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. “If you’re just here to mock me about my stupid crush on Beomgyu—”
“Oh, so we’re admitting it’s a crush now?” Soobin interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
“What? No! I—I… it slipped out,” you stuttered, feeling heat rise in your cheeks as you tried to recover.
Soobin leaned in, his grin widening as he pressed, “So you are admitting it—”
“I’m not admitting anything!” you snapped, crossing your arms defensively and giving him an exaggerated glare.
Soobin chuckled, clearly enjoying your flustered reaction. "Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that," he said, giving you a wink before turning his attention back to the table, though his smile lingered as if he knew something you didn't.
You huffed, trying to push the thoughts of Beomgyu out of your mind. The alcohol wasn't helping; if anything, it was just making things feel more awkward. You shifted in your seat, glancing back toward Beomgyu. He was laughing with your coworkers, his hands animated as he told some story, effortlessly commanding their attention. It was almost maddening how easy he made it look, his charm radiating off him like it was second nature.
"Are you sure you don’t have a thing for him?" Soobin’s voice brought you back to reality, and you looked at him, annoyed.
“I already told you, I don’t—" You stopped, realizing how defensive you sounded, how your heart was racing at the mere mention of Beomgyu’s name. You ran a hand through your hair, frustrated at yourself.
"So, what's going on then?" Soobin asked, his tone suddenly softer, less teasing. "You can’t keep pretending you don’t care."
You looked away, avoiding his gaze as you focused on the edge of your glass. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”
For a moment, Soobin didn’t say anything, just watched you, and you could feel the weight of his gaze. Finally, he spoke again, quieter this time. “You don’t have to figure everything out right now, but don’t pretend like it doesn’t matter."
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat.
“Okay, what if I do…” you whispered, barely audible, eyes darting around nervously.
Soobin leaned in closer, eyebrows raised. “Come again?”
You sighed, feeling your face burn as you tried to keep your voice low, as if somehow that would protect you. “What if I do… have a tiny little bit… the tiniest bit… of a crush on him…” you whispered even softer, almost too quietly to hear.
Soobin leaned in further, a mischievous grin pulling at his lips as he mimicked your whisper. “I can’t hear you.”
You rolled your eyes, swallowing your embarrassment. “I said,” you shouted, louder than you intended, and immediately felt the weight of your coworkers' stares on you. You quickly smiled awkwardly at them before turning back to Soobin. “I said... what if I did have a tiny crush on him?”
Soobin burst into laughter, loud enough that it felt like the whole bar could hear it. His laughter, bright and unapologetic, drew even more stares from the surrounding tables. You felt your face flush even more.
“You know,” he said, catching his breath, “it’s about time you admitted it. You’ve been looking at him like that all night.”
“I have not!” you protested, though you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.
“Right, because I didn’t just see you staring at him while he was telling that story about his yoga class.” Soobin grinned knowingly.
You groaned, sinking lower into your seat. “Can we drop it now?”
Soobin held up his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. But just so you know, it’s obvious to everyone here.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, finally calming down. “Trust me, you’ve got the ‘I’m-trying-to-hide-a-crush’ look written all over you.”
You leaned back in your chair, exhaling in defeat. “This is so embarrassing.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Soobin said with a grin. “If you’re embarrassed, then that means you care. And that’s actually kind of cute.”
“Thanks,” you muttered, rolling your eyes.
Soobin patted you on the back. “No problem, now go get your man.”
You snorted. “I’m not ‘getting my man’ anywhere besides isn’t he into this yoga girl you keep mentioning about?”
“First of all,” Soobin sighed. “I mentioned her once. Second, you're really gonna use her as an excuse now? I was just kidding. There wasn’t any “yoga girl”, I just wanted to see your reaction.”
“You lied?”
“For a good cause!” Soobin said, defensively.
“Look, I don’t even care. I mean... it’s not like he’s even looking my way,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to Soobin. “In fact, he hasn’t even talked to me all night.”
Soobin gave you a knowing look, the kind he always gave when he knew you were being a little dramatic. “You’re really gonna do this right now?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. “You’re letting one night ruin your mood?”
You sighed, resting your chin in your hand. “I mean, it's fine, really. I didn’t come here to be his entertainment plus free drinks!”
Soobin rolled his eyes. “It’s not about that, though, is it? You didn’t come here for him to entertain you, you came because you wanted to see him.”
“I did not come here…to see him.” You attempted to defend yourself. “I could be here to see you. You’re a pal.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure.” Soobin rolled his eyes.
You shot him a glare but it only made him laugh. He could always tell when you were hiding something, and right now, he was enjoying it a little too much.
“Fine, maybe I did want to see him,” you finally admitted, your voice softer than you wanted it to be. “But that doesn’t mean anything. It’s just—he told me to come, which I did but now he’s been avoiding me all night and talking to everyone but me.”
“Have you tried initiating the conversation first?” Soobin said.
You stared at Soobin, momentarily taken aback by his insight. “I just… I’m not sure what to say anymore."
"Say hi or something, in fact," Soobin said, grabbing your arm and pulling you to your feet. "You talk to him tonight, and... yeah, that’s it. Just talk to him. No ands ifs or buts."
"W-what? No! I can’t... I’m not ready! I’ve only had one shot of vodka. I’m not ready for this level of commitment—"
Soobin sighed in frustration. "Damn, you’re stronger than you look." He grunted, struggling to pull you up as you continued to thrash in your seat.
You dug your heels into the ground, still trying to resist as Soobin tugged at your arm. "No, seriously, Soobin! I'm not ready for this. What if I screw it up?" You felt the panic rising in your chest, your pulse quickening. The idea of talking to Beomgyu, of finally doing something about it, felt too overwhelming.
“And what’s going on over here?”
The two of you stopped your struggle, realizing it looked as though you were hugging, and quickly turned around, both of you frozen like deer caught in headlights.
“Beomgyu,” the two of you muttered in unison.
“You’re making quite the scene,” Beomgyu said. His tone was hard to place, but you would guess he was either slightly annoyed or, more likely, not at all amused.
“Sorry.” You glanced around, realizing no one was really paying attention to the two of you, which left you a bit confused, but you decided to ignore it.
“Soobin, Taehyun’s looking for you.” He pointed over to the table of interns.
“Taehyun’s here? Doesn’t he have…” Soobin gulped. “Okay. I’ll go find him.”
Soobin gave you one last glance, his smirk still lingering as he followed Beomgyu's direction. “Don’t think I forgot about this,” he teased, then strolled off toward the interns.
You let out a small breath of relief, now alone with Beomgyu. He was still standing there, his expression unreadable, though you could have sworn you saw something in his eyes when Soobin had left.
“So,” you started, clearing your throat awkwardly. “Thanks for... saving me from Soobin.”
Beomgyu chuckled, his gaze softening slightly. “Not sure you’re saved when a bigger devil is here.” He smirked.
“Right,” You chuckled before turning your attention back to your drink.
"Care for a conversation?"
"Now?" You hadn’t meant to sound sarcastic.
Beomgyu looked at you with a hint of confusion in his eyes before replacing it with his usual smirk. "What’s wrong with a little conversation?"
"I just... don’t you have a whole parade to lead? Aren’t people waiting for the life of the party?"
“Well, the life of the party needs a break, and I was kind of looking for my own relief.” He glanced over at you.
“And?” you prompted, raising an eyebrow.
“Found her.” He locked eyes with you, a hint of mischief in his gaze.
You shifted awkwardly, trying to gauge his intent, but he kept his eyes on you, unfazed.
“So, this is where you take your breaks?” you asked.
Beomgyu’s smirk deepened. “Only when the company is worth it.”
Your breath caught slightly, caught off guard by his boldness. You didn’t know how to respond right away, so you turned your attention back to your drink. The silence stretched on, and for a brief moment, it felt like there was something unspoken between you two.
“Oh, right!” You pulled out a small paper bag from your work bag. “Here.” You handed him the washed t-shirt he had lent you.
“You can keep it,” he said casually.
“And why would I want to keep a shirt with your face on it?” You rolled your eyes, holding the t-shirt up with mock disdain.
Beomgyu chuckled, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Y’know…I always thought you were pretty, but I think wearing my face has made you ten times prettier than you already were.”
He leaned back, watching you closely, his smile softening into something more sincere. “I’m serious though. You look good in it.”
Your heart skipped a beat, but you quickly brushed it off, trying to maintain your playful composure. “Sure. But I think I’ll pass on wearing it as a permanent look.”
You glanced at your watch, it was still early. If you were home you’d probably be binging a drama. You shook your head. It was time to say goodnight. You didn’t feel like overstaying your welcome.
“I’m gonna take off,” you muttered.
“What? So soon? It’s only 10,” Beomgyu said, sounding surprised.
You shrugged. “Yeah, and I’m wasting my Friday night being surrounded by drunk colleagues.
“Okay, then at least let me send you home,” he said, his tone softening.
“It’s totally fine! I can take the bus!”
“The bus? We can share a cab!” Beomgyu insisted.
“I’ll be fine, I swear.”
“And I won’t be until you let me take you home safely!” Beomgyu said, pouting ever so slightly, his lips curling downward. You stopped yourself from smiling at the sight of his pout.
“It’s really fine! If it makes you feel better, I’ll get Soobin to drive me back. I mean, he drove me here,” you replied, trying to brush off his concern with a casual shrug.
Beomgyu’s demeanor shifted immediately. His face tightened, and you noticed a flicker of frustration in his eyes. "Again with Soobin," he muttered, his voice a little sharper than before.
You glanced over at Beomgyu, seeing the almost imperceptible shift in his expression. He looked... frustrated, almost as if your mention of Soobin was a trigger. You weren’t sure why, but the change in him caught your attention.
“Yeah, I mean, he drove–”
“Do you enjoy torturing me?” Beomgyu sighed, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“What?”
“Do you enjoy… torturing me?” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated by your sheer density.
“Are you drunk?”
He shook his head.
He pulled you aside, guiding you into a quiet corner of the bar. Now, there was no sign of your colleagues—just the two of you, standing by a plant. The sudden isolation made the air feel heavy.
“You’re torturing me,” he muttered, his voice low. “You actually hate me.”
You blinked in surprise, unsure if you had heard him right.
“Hate you?” You frowned, trying to make sense of what he was implying. “Beomgyu, I don’t hate you.”
“You avoid me,” he sighed, frustration laced in his voice. “You’re always making jokes with everyone around you. Yeonjun, Soobin—dear God, you even make jokes with the new interns, Taehyun and Kai.”
You stood there frozen, caught off guard by the intensity of his rant.
“You laugh with everyone, you smile, you bat your eyelashes at Soobin, you touch Soobin’s arms, you go on one-on-one lunch dates with Soobin… You like Soobin.” His words came out in a rush, and each sentence hit harder than the last. “And you don’t feel a single thing for me.”
You felt your heart skip a beat at his accusation, your stomach dropping.
“I–”
“Why won’t you like me back?” Beomgyu repeated, his voice softer now, but still laced with an underlying pain. His eyes searched yours, as if looking for an answer that you weren’t sure how to give.
And it was… three seconds of silence before Beomgyu hurled onto your shoes.
You stared in disbelief, mouth agape, as the reality of what had just happened set in. The mixture of complete shock and disgust made you freeze for a moment, unable to process what had just unfolded.
“No liquor, my ass!” You screamed, stepping back in horror as you looked down at your shoes, now a disgusting shade of… well, you didn’t even want to think about it.
Beomgyu collapsed onto the floor, his body crumpling like a ragdoll.
“Oh my God!” You shouted, hands thrown up in the air, unsure of what to do. You were stuck between wanting to laugh at the absurdity of it all and wanting to strangle him for ruining your night—and your shoes.
Beomgyu’s head lolled to the side, eyes barely open as he slurred, “I... I didn’t mean for it to... to go like this. I just… I thought you’d—” He cut himself off with another groan, clearly too far gone to finish his sentence.
Your mind raced, torn between sympathy for his state and pure annoyance. You didn’t sign up for this.
—
Soobin had driven the two of you back to your place. Beomgyu, half-conscious and heavily leaning against your shoulder, made no effort to support himself as you navigated him out of the car.
You reached your front door and stopped, fumbling with the keys for a moment before Soobin broke the silence with a sigh. “You sure you don’t want him to just go home with me?” His voice was soft, but you could hear the concern in it, even if he tried to mask it with a teasing tone.
You shot him a tired glance as you finally unlocked the door. “Isn’t your mom visiting right now? You sure you want her to know this is the kind of roommate you have?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you nudged the door open with your foot, glancing at Beomgyu, who was mumbling nonsense under his breath.
“Yeah?” Soobin shrugged, clearly not thinking it through. “But, you know, I could always—”
“You sure you want your mom to see all this?” you interrupted, gesturing at the disaster that was Beomgyu, who looked like he might pass out any second.
Soobin blinked, his face faltering slightly as the reality of the situation hit him. “...You’re probably right,” he said with a chuckle that barely covered his embarrassment.
You shook your head, a small laugh escaping despite everything. “Thanks for the ride,” you said, offering a strained smile before you turned your attention back to Beomgyu. “Alright, let’s get you inside.”
Beomgyu stumbled and flopped onto the couch as soon as you let him go, groaning dramatically, his head lolling to the side. His disheveled hair and the faint smell of alcohol coming off him was enough to make you feel a little queasy, but you refused to let him see how uncomfortable you were. Instead, you turned to Soobin, who lingered by the door, looking unsure about whether to stay or leave.
“Is there anything I can do?” Soobin asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
You looked at Beomgyu again and sighed. “Just help me change him.” You half-smiled, trying to reassure Soobin despite feeling like a mess yourself.
Soobin chuckled awkwardly. “You should probably get him some water or something.”
“Yeah, I will,” you said, already moving toward the kitchen, your mind racing as you debated what to do next. You glanced back at Beomgyu, still sprawled out on the couch, looking like he had no care in the world. He was out of it, sure, but the way he had acted earlier still lingered in your thoughts, leaving a pit in your stomach.
Soobin finally left, his footsteps fading as the door clicked shut behind him. You were alone now with a drunk, insufferable Beomgyu, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for whatever this night was about to throw at you next.
—
You were thankful Soobin stayed long enough to help change Beomgyu out of his puke-soaked clothes. It was an awkward scene, but you couldn’t exactly leave Beomgyu in his state. Soobin had managed to get him into a pair of comfortable sweats and a t-shirt before he left, leaving you to deal with the aftermath.
As you walked back into the living room, you found Beomgyu still sprawled on the couch, his head resting awkwardly on the armrest. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep but uneven. Despite the mess he’d made, you couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.
You grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and gently placed it on the coffee table in front of him, hoping he’d wake up enough to drink it.
It’d been a few hours since the incident happened. You had just been sitting on your armchair, waiting for Beomgyu to wake up.
His eyes fluttered open a moment later, his vision blurry as he blinked a few times, trying to focus on his surroundings. When he saw you standing there, a faint, sheepish smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “You’re still here…” he mumbled..
“Of course,” you said, sitting down on the edge of the couch, keeping a safe distance. “You’re kinda at my house.”
Beomgyu let out a groan, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into all of this…”
You sighed, watching him closely as he sat up, trying to get his bearings. “You didn’t drag me into anything, I just so happened to be standing right in front of you, waiting for my prince charming to puke on me.” You replied, trying to hide the slight irritation in your voice, but the frustration from the whole night was starting to seep through.
Beomgyu winced at your words, a sheepish smile spreading across his face. “Yeah... that wasn’t my best moment.”
“No kidding.” You leaned back, folding your arms across your chest. “I’ve never seen you this... well, out of it. What even happened tonight?”
“I don’t know. I think I just... lost it. All the stuff with you and Soobin, it’s been bugging me more than I want to admit. And, well, I guess it all came crashing down at the wrong time.”
“So… you remember what you said in the bar just now?” You asked, the tension in your voice barely masked by the casual question.
Beomgyu nodded, his eyes slightly narrowed as if he was trying to piece everything together. “I’m puke and black-out drunk. Not the kind to forget about the stupid shit I do when I’m drunk... kind of drunk.”
You laughed awkwardly, trying to process what he was saying. "So you… were—are—jealous of Soobin?"
Beomgyu nodded slowly, his gaze avoiding yours as he seemed to wrestle with his own feelings. “Kind of. I guess. I don’t really know. But listen, he’s a great guy and clearly in better shape than me, so I… genuinely think the two of you would be great together.”
You blinked at him, trying to process the unexpected confession. "I don’t know… I kind of had my eyes on someone else, actually."
“It’s Yeonjun, isn’t it? It’s because he’s up there with that whole manager position and his weird party tricks… damn it, I should’ve picked up rollerblading when I had the chance.”
“No—not Yeonjun. He’s a little too intense for me,” you said, the memory of Yeonjun yelling at you for accidentally dropping a pack of Skittles down the garbage disposal flashing through your mind.
“Then who is it? Not Soobin, not Yeonjun—I’m gonna be so for real with you right now, we’re kind of your only options if you were into like hot people–”
“You’re spiraling.”
“I just… I’m curious to know who this guy is! Who’s this less attractive person I’m losing out to, y’know?”
“Well, he’s kinda cute to me.”
Beomgyu sighed and ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated but also trying to mask it with a weak smile. “Okay, fine. I get it. You like someone else, and that’s cool. But you’re really killing me here with the suspense. Actually, you know what…maybe I don’t wanna know.” He sat up from the couch, shaking his head.
You were leaning against the wall opposite him, your arms crossed loosely over your chest as you tried to steady your breathing. Your eyes flicked to Beomgyu, watching him as he ran a hand through his messy hair, clearly wrestling with his own thoughts.
The way he shifted uncomfortably on the couch made you feel almost guilty for not speaking sooner, but you weren’t going to lie, you kind of enjoyed this little mental torture he was going through.
Served him right for teasing you so much.
The truth was, you had been trying to avoid it, trying not to make things complicated especially with someone you weren’t even sure that liked you back.
Come on. Dropping your coffee and making you wear the ugliest t-shirt? That didn’t really seem like someone who liked you.
“Look, y’know what, I’m fine. I’ll just go home,” Beomgyu sighed, standing up from the couch. “Thanks for taking care of me. I’m really sorry about the shoes. I’ll get you a new pair. I promise.” He ruffled his hair, clearly trying to hide the awkwardness with a forced smile, but you could tell he was feeling guilty.
“Beomgyu–”
“I’m good. Look, it stings. The girl I’ve been pining for, for about a year or so, doesn’t like me back. It’s cool. I’ll get over it. Not now, but soon enough. I just hope this guy—whoever the fuck he is—treats you well… but like, I hope he’s not that hot. I don’t think that’d be good for my self-esteem. But you also deserve the best so I hope he’s at least hot-ish…? I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m being really immature right now, aren’t I? This is not a good look on me,” Beomgyu rambled, his voice wavering slightly as he shifted uneasily on his feet.
“Dude, you gotta let me talk.” You sighed, walking over to Beomgyu and gently pushing him back onto the couch. He blinked up at you, still looking a little frazzled, but his shoulders visibly relaxed when you didn’t back away.
“This guy…that I’m into–”
“Oh great. We’re still talking about this asshole.”
“He’s really funny,” you spoke, your tone exasperated but softening.
“It’s that one tall dude from marketing, isn’t it?” Beomgyu asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re not listening!” you yelled, cutting him off. Beomgyu gave you a sheepish, apologetic smile, slowly realizing that he was spiraling. You pulled his chin toward you, making sure he was looking at you. “He’s funny. He’s kind of an asshole, actually.”
“You’re into that?”
You shrugged, “And he’s really handsome.” You looked up at Beomgyu, giving him the sweetest smile, which made his heart leap.
“Don’t smile at me like that. You’re just gonna make me more hung up on you.” Beomgyu’s voice was softer now, the playful edge gone, replaced by a vulnerability that made your heart race.
You chuckled, “He’s also really cute. Didn’t peg him for the jealous type.”
“What?” He tilted his head, confused.
“He’s also really narcissistic. Has apparently zero alcohol tolerance,” you mumbled. “He also puked on my shoes.”
Beomgyu blinked a few times, his mouth opening and closing as if he wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “Wait, he puked in your shoes? And you’re still into him?” He let out a disbelieving laugh, though it was edged with a hint of nervousness. "And you think I'm the one who’s messed up?"
“Beomgyu, it’s you. How are you not getting it?”
“Oh.”
Beomgyu’s gaze softened, the realization sinking in fully. His lips parted as if he were about to say something, but he hesitated, unsure of how to handle the sudden shift in the conversation.
“I’ve liked you for awhile now.” You continued, “I just thought you genuinely…disliked me. Or at least just enjoyed making my day miserable.”
“Miserable? Baby, I was entertaining you,” he said, his voice low, teasing but with an undeniable sincerity underneath.
You raised an eyebrow, feeling both amused and flustered. “Entertaining me? By making me spill coffee on myself and tricking me into wearing that ugly t-shirt?”
Beomgyu chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well–” he started, clearly trying to defend himself but failing to keep his grin in check.
“How about two weeks ago when you took out the screws of my chair at work and I fell and hurt my ass?” You crossed your arms, a playful yet accusatory tone in your voice.
“To be fair, that was Soobin’s idea,” Beomgyu said quickly, as if the excuse could somehow absolve him. He looked genuinely innocent for a split second before breaking into an even wider grin. “But I did help, so I guess I’m partially guilty.”
You scoffed, unable to suppress a smile despite yourself. “Partial guilt? You’re the mastermind behind most of it.”
"You don't get it!" Beomgyu sighed dramatically. "You're just so... adorable when you're mad! Your eyebrows furrow, your eyes widen, and when you pout... it's just... God, if you could see yourself the way I see you."
You raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress the grin that tugged at your lips. "Adorable? Really? You think I'm adorable when I'm mad?"
Beomgyu nodded eagerly, his eyes lighting up. "Yes! You don’t get it! You’re like a firecracker. When you get all huffy and your cheeks puff up, it just... it drives me crazy." He looked almost embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's like the cutest thing ever."
You couldn’t help but laugh, a genuine sound that surprised both of you. "Am I just your daily work stress ball or something?”
"Yes!" Beomgyu replied instantly, his voice a little too eager. He leaned in slightly, his tone softening as if revealing a secret. "I swear, if you could see yourself, you'd understand. It’s like you’re all fierce and pissed off, but still so... you. And God, it's so easy to fall for."
You smiled shyly, “You’re a little weirdo, aren’t you?”
Beomgyu grinned, his eyes sparkling with that mischievous glint you’d come to know all too well. "Maybe," he said, his voice low and teasing. "But I'm your weirdo. If you’ll take me."
He leaned in just a little closer, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips, and for a brief moment, the air between you seemed to thicken. You felt your heart skip a beat, suddenly hyperaware of how close he was.
You cleared your throat, trying to play it cool, but your voice came out softer than you intended. "I don't know if I’ll like that," you teased, though you couldn’t hide the hint of a smile tugging at your lips.
Beomgyu chuckled, his expression softening into something more sincere. "You should. I swear, I’ve got the best intentions. Even if I do mess with you a little."
Your breath caught as his words hit you in a way you hadn't expected. He wasn’t just being playful anymore—there was something real behind his eyes.
"You’re... kind of sweet when you’re serious," you murmured, unable to stop yourself from feeling a little flustered under his gaze.
Beomgyu leaned back just slightly, his smile turning a little shy, like he hadn't meant to let that much of himself show. "Yeah, well... I mean it, you know?" he said quietly, looking down at his hands before meeting your gaze again. "You make it hard not to feel this way."
“You’re being ridiculous.” You puffed your cheeks.
“There! There it is!” Beomgyu shouted, jumping up and down on your couch in excitement like a little kid.
You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, your heart skipping a beat at how effortlessly cute he was. “You’re being insane!” you said, still smiling.
“I’m not!” Beomgyu responded dramatically, flailing his arms for emphasis. “How are you not seeing how cute you are?!” His voice was nearly exasperated, like he was trying to make you understand some grand truth about yourself.
“It’s probably how I see you!” you shot back, a teasing smirk tugging at your lips.
A moment of silence filled the room, the weight of what you had just said hanging in the air.
Beomgyu’s eyes widened slightly, his expression faltering as he processed your words. “That’s how you see me?” he asked, his voice softer, almost unsure.
You nodded, your gaze shifting as you tried to put your thoughts into words. “Yeah. You’re… well, close to perfect, as far as I can see.” You shrugged slightly. "The way you put your tongue at the side of your cheek and poke it when you're feeling smug after winning an argument with me... Maybe that's why I let you win sometimes. You look... sexy when you do that."
Beomgyu froze, his eyes locking with yours, a mix of surprise and something else flickering in his gaze. Then, slowly, his lips curled into a grin, that mischievous glint returning. “You think I’m sexy when I do that?” he asked, scooting closer, his hands coming to rest beside your thighs on the couch.
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, suddenly self-conscious as you realized what you'd just admitted. But before you could retreat, Beomgyu leaned in a little, his face lighting up with that playful yet sincere spark. “Well, now that you’ve said it... I’m definitely not letting you off the hook,” he teased, his tone warm and a little more serious than before, making your heart skip a beat.
“What else do you like about me?” he asked, his gaze drifting from your eyes to your lips.
You blushed, feeling your heart race. “When you… when you make everyone laugh. You’re just so effortlessly you,” you said softly, your voice warming as you smiled shyly at him.
He leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered your name. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere. “You’d see the most beautiful person in the world.”
You stayed silent, your heart pounding as his words settled in. The air between you seemed to thicken with unspoken feelings, and for a moment, you couldn’t find your voice.
He leaned back slightly, his eyes searching yours with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. "And, would the most beautiful person in the world... let me kiss her?"
Your breath caught in your throat. You could feel the tension, the way everything seemed to slow down as you locked eyes with him. He was so close, and his expression was so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter.
Slowly, you nodded, barely able to whisper, “Yeah... I think I would.”
His eyes lit up, and in that instant, the world around you seemed to disappear. Without wasting another second, Beomgyu gently cupped your face in his hands, leaning in until his lips met yours in a soft, tentative kiss. It was sweet at first, testing the waters, before deepening as you both relaxed into the moment.
Everything felt perfect. Well…until…
You pulled away, suddenly aware of the rules that had always been lurking in the back of your mind. “Wait. Doesn’t our company have a rule about dating?”
Beomgyu froze for a second, his lips brushing yours one last time before he pulled back, a playful grin spreading across his face. “I could quit tomorrow if it meant I could kiss you every day,” he sighed dramatically, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that made your heart race.
Before you could say anything, Beomgyu pulled you gently but insistently closer, guiding you to sit on his lap. He leaned in again, his lips on yours.
“Beomgyu, I’m serious.” You mumbled between the kisses, your voice breathless but laced with uncertainty.
He only grinned wider, his hands lightly gripping your waist, “Rule, schmule,” he muttered dismissively, pushing you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. "We’ll figure it out. Besides, isn’t Taehyun like the boss’s son or something? We could bribe him."
“What?!” You gasped, pulling away from the kiss, your eyes wide with disbelief.
“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to say that,” he muttered sheepishly, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes was unmistakable as he shrugged and pulled you back into the kiss.
“You did not just drop a big bomb like that!” You tried to protest, but your words were muffled by his lips.
“Less talking, more kissing,” Beomgyu murmured between kisses, his hands gently guiding your face to meet his again.
“But we have all night,” you teased, breathless but still managing a smirk.
He paused for a moment, his face a little too close to yours, his grin playful. “I’m listening…” he said, clearly enjoying this back-and-forth.
You couldn't help but laugh softly, pushing him playfully away just enough to get a word in. “You’re also gross.”
Beomgyu’s expression faltered for just a second before he burst into laughter, his arms wrapping around you tighter as he pulled you back against him. “Gross? I thought you liked me.”
You rolled your eyes, but the warmth spreading through your chest made it hard to stay mad. “You’re impossible,” you murmured, even as you found yourself leaning in again.
“Impossible to resist,” he corrected with a wink, his lips capturing yours once more, and this time, there was no pulling away.
#txt fic#txt oneshot#txt x reader#txt fanfic#txt fluff#txt imagines#txt scenarios#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu x you#choi beomgyu x you#choi beomgyu x reader#txt fanfiction#txt one shot#tomorrow x together#beomgyu x y/n#beomgyu oneshot#beomgyu fluff#beomgyu au#beomgyu fic#beomgyu imagines
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Seeing as how you're doing headcanons again i'd like to request hcs of Gavin,Milo,Sam,Vincent,and Guy( btw here's a thought for ya Guy as Hermes dangerous has stuck in my head for the past couple hours send help) also your previous hc were also great!(you could say they were ruthless ha ha ha im sorry that was bad lol)
~ Deviant anon (⊃◕ω◕(´ω`*⊂)
idk if you can tell but I really like Guy
also I wrote headcanons for some character recently so characters like Gavin, Sam, and Milo have them a lil short than Vincent and Guy since it takes a while to think about possible in-character hcs for them. Sorry :(
Lots of Headcanons #3
Gavin
Believe it or not, Gavin’s social media accounts are usually blank. Save for Instagram. He just has them to comment under the group’s posts.
Despite never reading a book, Freelancer has told him he’d do best in the writing industry.
He does not know how to hold a baby. If you give him a baby for any reason he’d hold it with both of his hands under its shoulders.
The worst he’s been scared was when he played a horror VR game, but he didn’t scream or anything he really just jolted and went “shit” and moved on. Freelancer was not amused.
He likes being the big spoon when he and FL cuddle because he gets to breathe in their scent, hold them, and remind himself that this is real, and not just a dream he’ll wake up from.
Milo
You can’t beat him in cup pong. Digitally or physically. You just can’t.
The only reason David is considered a better cook than Milo is because Milo uses a lot of seasoning and the pack is full of babies who can’t handle oregano or sazón.
Whenever the pack goes somewhere tropical he has to wear a shirt or Sweetheart will constantly attempt to latch onto his torso.
Milo and cats have always gone together like peanut butter and jelly. He had a cat toy when he was a toddler, his first cell phone had a stray cat as his wallpaper, he’d feed the stray cats around his home, etc. So when he learned that he and the people around him could turn into “dogs” (wolves but still) he was DEVASTATED. Got over it after a day tho.
He likes juice boxes.
Avid Apple Juice “tastes like piss” hater, although he also says mint ice cream tastes like toothpaste so take that as you will.
Sam
Sam fucking hates cowboys.
Sam had braces from the ages of 19-21 and the only upside he had to being a vampire when he first turned was that he didn’t need his retainer anymore.
Sam always reads manga wrong and no matter how many times anyone explains it he’ll read it from left to right and never understands what’s going on.
The closest Sam has gotten to riding a horse is when he flopped on top of Darlin’s back while they were shifted and they walked around his house like that…he’s never been on a horse.
Sam has a lot of existential crisises, compared to like Vincent or Porter.
If something's flying and he can't figure out if it's a plane, helicopter, animal, or any identifiable flying object, he just believes it's an Alien UFO and moves on.
Darlin' gave him a wheat head for Christmas once. He was not amused.
Vincent
Wanted to be a youtuber for a brief period in time in 2010.
Had a weird obsession with those traced anime characters dancing tiktoks in 2020, a little after meeting Lovely.
He canonically has multiple cars he likes showing off to Lovely, but he also nearly never uses them and it’s Lovely who showboats them and takes them on joyrides.
He didn’t believe William at first when he was first told he’s a vampire now and was the only one who survived The Surge incident, until they both saw his funeral take place and see his grave, which took place a long time after the accident because his parents refused to believe he was dead.
He had 3 tomodachis at once and they all constantly died because he forgot feeding them was a thing.
He commonly "regrets" asking William to make him unable to lie to Lovely because they like to ask him embarrassing questions on purpose and he can’t help but answer them, even though he could just stay quiet.
His favorite memory as a kid was roller skating with his parents on his 7th birthday. Even though he fell on his face, sprained his ankle, and had a loose tooth fall out. Still his favorite day.
Guy
GUY IS SO HERMES CODED UR RIGHT
Turned a fanfic he wrote as his college essay and got in just because of it.
Was very afraid of Honey when they first met, they kept staring at him like he was the scum of the Earth. They just wanted to talk to him about the Animal Crossing pin on his backpack.
Whenever his friends order from Max’s, and he turns out to be their delivery guy, they make fun of him so much (playfully) and give him a 10 dollar tip
He borrowed his friend’s motorcycle to impress Honey
Cried over Gnomeo and Juliet
Dressed up as the Thomas Jefferson Miku Binder drawing in 2023.
He almost gave himself a buzzcut once when he was drunk, he had to be held down because everyone knew he’d regret it so hard later, not matter how funny it’d be.
#A wheat head is the thing cowboys have in their mouths#When I write headcanons it mainly consists of me playing Tower of hell on roblox and switching tabs to write a hc whenever one comes to min#its a long process but also very fun#its also why I only write HCs on my laptop#bc fuck mobile roblox#ALSO GUY WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE DANGEROUS especially the livestream animation holy shit#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted milo#redacted vincent#redacted guy#redacted honey
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thoughts on this take?
https://www.tumblr.com/stupid-juku/766965711651454976/daily-reminder-if-sega-confirms-that-mizuki-is
Their explanation is under their notes in the comment section.
I personally disagree but I was wondering what was your take
Ya this is wrong and not paying attention to canon!
I'll quote here what @stupid-juku said: "daily reminder: if sega confirms that mizuki is tfem they will be the WORST trans rep :P
At first Mizuki doesn't have gender dysphoria, at least it hasn't been shown. The idea was for this character to break gender stereotypes, to show that clothes are just a piece of fabric, and pink is not just a girl's color, while showing what they had to go through because of this ... but if devs confirm that they are cis, who just loves girly things, it would show how society is still affected by gender stereotypes and how people who love things that do not belong to their gender getting bullied even by so-called 'queer-friendly' society. They pretended to be a girl to avoid being bullied for their interests and taste in clothes. They reacted this way to the revelation of their secret because it was not they personally who did it, but someone else and their deception flared up"
Does Mizuki have gender dysphoria?
Yes! We can see this in their depression during their period of self repression during middle school, where they were suicidally depressed. Part of their depression was how nobody would accept them, part of it was their sister leaving, part of it was how after giving up their love for making feminine clothes, etc, they didn't really have anything left.
During their repressed period, we can also see that the mirror in their room was covered with a sheet, meaning they couldn't bear looking at their body, face, and/or short, masculine hair. Their masculine form was too painful for them.
So, Mizuki can't bear to see themself in a masculine form and they're extremely depressed in part because they are forcing themself to repress their identity. If their mirror wasn't covered I wouldn't say this as confidently, but this is a textbook example of a dysphoria.
Could Mizuki be cis? Are they just an oppressed femboy?
No. Think about it. Mizuki lives literally every moment of their life presenting female. If they were a crossdresser, femboy, or any male-aligned identity, they would get gender dysphoria against being a woman and this would lead to them going in and out of a feminine gender presentation. In addition, having to pretend to be a woman would be deeply distressing and Mizuki would be written MUCH differently as a result. That would be a whole giant, separate struggle that Mizuki's story would have to deal with.
Mizuki definitely WANTS to be a girl.
We can also look at how the songs portray Mizuki
Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai and Phony both have lines about how Mizuki sees themself and their body. Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai
“If it’s like that, why are we in this world in the first place? In such imperfect bodies? Even now, now still having hearts.”
Their frustration over having an “imperfect body” makes a lot of sense for a character who wants to live their life as a girl, but has the body of a boy. We have also been shown this frustration in the story like I just explained.
Phony
“Why, oh why, does it hurt here so much.”
Let’s edit this quote so that it can make sense out of context. In context, this would be more like:
“Why, oh why, does [being a phony] hurt so much.”
This line, as sung by Mizuki, is telling us that one: Mizuki feels like a phony, and two, that being one hurts. If we think back on the line from kuyamu to kaite mirai, about Mizuki’s frustration over having an “imperfect body,” we can see what they mean by phony. Mizuki is someone born male, who wants to be in every way a girl. As much as they try to pass as a girl, they will never be able to change their birth sex. Being this way, how could you not feel like a phony? So, of course it hurts them, feeling like a phony.
Some other bits from songs and cards:
In IDSmile, they call themself a "minority," using the japanese loan word that can specifically refer to sexual minorities AKA LGBT people.
They sung in Villain. It's literally a song explicitly about being trans. It has a manga about a gay man and a trans man falling in love. Like!!!!
if we take a look at the 3D music video for the song where Mafuyu and Mizuki both perform together, when Mafuyu says the line “I take on the form of a boy in front of you,” Mizuki waves to the camera with a smug expression, making a peace sign as the camera cuts away.
What is this trying to say? To me I think this is Mizuki trying to get our attention, saying “hey! This is the sorta thing I do!” However, this shouldn’t be confused with crossdressing, as this song isn’t talking about crossdressers, it’s talking about trans people. So really, what is this saying? I think this is Mizuki saying: “hey! Look! I’m trans!” or, maybe I’m insane, and this little wave meant nothing, but from all that we’ve seen, I think it’s true. After all, the writers are very, very intentional.
Also, like in the card “Between Feelings and Reality,” they are depicted symbolically as a butterfly. It happens SO MANY TIMES. In the trans community, the butterfly is a classic trans symbol, and in Japan, it represents becoming a mature woman.
Like how can you see all of the things from the story and songs talking about Mizuki's frustration over their amab body AND see the otherwise BLATANT trans coding and think "Mizuki could possibly be cis." No. Literally no.
Anyway,
While I too have little faith in Japanese companies to put an explicitly trans character in their game, I don't think that the writers EVER intended for Mizuki to be cis in any way. It's clear that they are frustrated over their body - they're gender dysphoric. They WANT to live their life as a feminine presenting person but things get in the way and they aren't able to truly be themself in the way they desire.
I think Mizuki is great trans rep. No, they aren't perfect, but I love Mizuki in great part because of how deeply I see my life in theirs. Sometimes it almost feels 1:1.
If you like what I said here, a lot of this comes from my video essay that should... hopefully be done before the end of the month. In it, I'll explain all of this in way more explicit detail along with clips from the story.
Anyway, sorry to the random person who I just tore apart. No bad feeling towards you!
Actually, wow there are some fucking idiots in my comments I'm not sorry anymore. If you don't even speak Japanese, get the fuck out of my comments trying to say you know shit about Japan. Thanks, bye.
#prsk#pjsk#project sekai#prosekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#n25 mizuki#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#mizu5#transgender
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The road so far
Summary: Have you ever wondered what goes through a writer’s mind while she’s trying to complete the stories you like so much? Well! Wonder no more! Here’s a first look into a writer’s unstable mind!
Characters: Bonten against Omi (no x because it’s war)
Word count: 1K
Content Warnings: fighting, slight breaking of the fourth wall, sitcoms, crackfic, it’s a joke. Yes, it can be read as x reader… just pretend. Hostility, a meme, DIH references, other fandoms mentioned.
A.N: TAKEOMI IS NOT OMI. I am Omi. I wrote this in 15 so it’s very rushed. idk… this is me trying to portray my internal struggles while I write. I just worked joke of 1000 words… and yes, characters never listen to what we want.
“If you think we’re gonna cooperate with you after leaving us for almost three years, you’re delusional,” Kokonoi crossed his legs once he sat down in front of Omi.
Omi had called a meeting with Bonten in hopes of coming to an agreement. She needed to work on her WIPs but her characters weren’t cooperating.
“As a matter of fact, I am delusional,” Omi answered, sipping from her water bottle, “anyway, I just need to finish the rest of the meetings and we’re done! Swear!”
Around her, the rest of Bonten sat with serious faces. Nobody was happy to be there. After her disappearance a few years ago, things weren’t quite as peaceful between them as they used to be.
“Yeah, yeah. I see how you are. Use us and drop us.” Sanzu sounded bitter and angry. He didn’t take the vanishing so well. He had bonded with her and she just left him. That wasn’t right in his book.
“Ugh, women…” With a sigh, Rindou stretched his long limbs, showing how tired and stressed he was.
“What do you mean ‘ugh? Women?’” Omi harshly questioned Rindou with a frown on her face.
“Nothing…” he replied nonchalantly, sitting up straight once again.
“Forget that! You clearly have preferences for certain members.” As she heard that voice her skin began to crawl. Hair standing on end, Omi slowly turned towards the source— once she saw his obnoxious face, only irritation was left behind.
“Oh, shut up, Ran! I wrote your story with your brother first! Why are you complaining?” She quickly replied, raising her hand in protest.
“Because he’s one of those,” added Mochi in a whisper.
So much of a whisper that was… half the men present burst out laughing which caused Ran to sigh in frustration. He was done. So many years and he still didn’t know what the hell that meant.
“We can't just hop back in,” Takeomi’s voice raised above the hysterical laughter of his peers.
Omi deflated at his words. She dreaded the worst… Was this how things were going to end?
“Please, I’ll do anything! I can’t leave the story like that!” Her eyes began to water as desperation crept in.
“Well, too bad! You left!” Sanzu’s bitterness didn’t falter, not even at the sight of unshed tears in her eyes.
“I said I was sorry! And I was busy with life, you know?”
“Yeah? Life? Then who are those guys? Rhysand? Sylus? Jinshi?” Sanzu spoke each name with disdain.
“Yeah! Who’s Umemiya? And some dude named Hoshina?” Rindou backed him up.
“More? I only heard about Sanji—” Kakucho suddenly intervened but was cut off by Omi.
“Okay! Stop! Oh my gosh!! Stoop!” Omi’s face had changed three different types of red in the last few seconds, “That… has nothing to—“
“Bullshit! I call bullshit! You created a different blog for the Stylus guy!” Sanzu was not dropping the subject.
“Oh my gosh! Let it go! And his name is Sylus!”
“AHAA!” Pink hairs wildly flew everywhere as Sanzu stood up and pointed an accusatory finger at Omi.
“Just… just help me write the few chapters I’m missing and the end. That’s all I’m asking… I lost the WIPs and I can’t by myself…” she pleaded. Internally praying they understood her dire situation.
“What do we get in return?” Mikey finally spoke after observing the back and forth between his men and Omi.
That sentence perked her up. A ray of hope finally came in between the stormy clouds.
“What-what would you want?” She asked with bright eyes and a new determination ignited.
“We can discuss that later,” Mikey waved his hand dismissively.
Omi nodded eagerly in return. Finally! Some progress. “Okay, fine… that’s good…”
After Mikey’s short exchange of words, they decided to end the meeting. It was time to move forward and begin working. Everyone stood up and began to leave the room.
They saw Omi move to the side with Takeomi and they started to talk amicably, with smiles and very friendly hand gestures. It was like time had never passed for them. She didn’t treat him differently and Takeomi seemed comfortable with her.
“Why does she like the old man…” Kakucho wondered out loud.
“It’s the daddy issues, I bet,” Sanzu was seething as he kept watching the scene play in front of him.
“What did you say?!” You turned your head like the exorcist once you heard those words leave Sanzu’s lips.
“Does she have superhuman hearing? How the hell did she hear you?” Ran said with a bit of panic in his voice.
And it began. Omi had been chasing the pink-haired man for a while now…
“I DON'T NEED YOU, SANZU! I CAN FINISH DIH WITHOUT YOU!” But before she could catch him, a pair of hands caught her first, “UGH! KAKUCHO LET ME GO! HE’S DEAD!”
Meanwhile a bit further away from the commotion.
“We have agreed to help her. Was it really necessary to do all the drama?” Questioned Takeomi to Mikey and Mochi. The three men watched the rest battling it out.
“We voted and the majority chose to make drama before agreeing,” Mikey said as his eyes followed Sanzu speeding away from Omi,
“Even Koko?” Mochi was surprised by that information.
“Even Koko.” Mumbled the short man.
“RAN, YOU TOO! BOTH YOU AND SANZU ARE DEAD!” Omi yelled, still being held by Kakucho who was trying to help diffuse the situation.
“What did I do?”
“YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE!” She kicked her feet in an attempt to be let loose, “I SHOULD HAVE KEPT WRITING FOR HAIKYUU! They wouldn’t treat me like this!”
“Yeah? Well, go and play ball with your sporty boys!” Ran screamed back.
“You’re insufferable!” Omi screamed as she tackled Ran to the ground.
“She became way more violent in the years we didn’t see her,” Mikey commented and the rest of his executive nodded in agreement. Everyone just watched Omi and Ran scuffling on the floor.
Bonus:
Omi: and then you do as it says here *points to the script*
Kakucho: that’s too mean. I don’t want to do that.
Omi: you’re a criminal! How is it mean to push her face down and—
Kakucho: shhh no please *blushing*
Omi: I’m working with amateurs… *throws her stack of paper into the trash*
#omificstags#Alexa play carry on my wayward son#Bonten x omi#HAHAHAHA#sanzu haruchiyo#kakucho hitto#ran haitani#bonten x reader#manjiro sano#mikey sano#kanji mochizuki#rindou haitani#kokonoi hajime#takeomi akashi#tokyo revengers#tokyorev#tokyo revengers x reader#tr memes#i like to think im funny
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Im not a fan of every argument made here on either side, so first I'll get a few things out of the way;
1, that abuse victims often go on to be abusers themselves if they don't put in the work necessary to heal from their own abuse, that's what people are talking about when they refer to the CYCLE of abuse. To deny that is... Also uncomfortable. Being a victim of abuse does not make you exempt from abusing other people. 2, I wish we'd stop equating toxic with abusive because there is a difference. 3, i don't think autistic coding is really a fair defense of said toxic traits I'm gonna be real. There's nothing wrong with headcanons and projection but just to focus on what actually happened in the series without using headcanon to excuse harmful behavior. I don't know what traits are being referred to as "autistic coded" here so honestly I'm not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole and just focus on what we see;
Its hard for people to accept, but abuse does not happen on accident. Abuse is an intentional choice one makes. And over all, no, Ford isn't abusive. He, throughout the series and due to a combination of his self-centeredness and being a victim of abuse (hell, his self-centeredness was weaponized against him as part of the abuse) was absolutely toxic for most of the time we've seen him.
The argument that he abused Fiddleford is so stupid I'm not even going to acknowledge it. The thing with Stan is, he frankly wasn't around him enough to actually abuse him. A one time event is not abuse. A single fight is not abuse. Abuse is long and drawn out and, as I said earlier, intentional. And, like what was already pointed out, Ford was in a bad state. He'd reached the point of Bill going fully mask off, so to speak, and the abuse now being at it's worst. He was fully isolated and sleep deprived and it made him crazy. Yes, his unwillingness to destroy the journals was deeply selfish and another mark of how self-centered he is. It's the definition of irrational. But, once again, he wasn't in a spot where he could think rationally. (Granted, even if he was, I still don't think he would've been willing to destroy the journals because his self importance and self centeredness is one of his biggest flaws and an important part of his character)
The closest Ford ever comes to being abusive is, yes, with dipper. He starts telling him a lot of the same things we know Bill told him at the start of their partnership; you're special, we need each other, these other people are only holding you back. Nobody understands you like I do. When Dipper expresses concern for Mabel, Ford is immediately dismissive. He looks at Dipper and all he sees is himself, and all he sees in Mabel is Stan. He is the one who pushed that dichotomy, because he really couldn't think outside of himself.
His greatest flaw is that he's self centered and self obsessed. But the thing is, is that he learns his lesson. It takes literal apocalypse to get there, but he does learn and he does reflect and he does apologize and try to do better. He course corrects. Gravity falls, ultimately, is about family bonds and breaking the cycle of abuse. Ford almost continued that cycle with Dipper, but he stopped before any permanent damage could be done, both to their relationship, and to Dipper and Mabels. He fixed his relationship with Stan.
He did in fact have abusive tendencies and toxic traits but ultimately he put in the work to fix them and be better. Ford is a well written and well balanced character. He displays how someone even with good intentions can unintentionally fall back into cruel and toxic habits, and can start repeating the abuse they were put through. He also shows that you can come back from that. That starting down that path doesn't mean you have to stay there. That it's possible to heal and get better.
None of what I'm saying is an indictment of Ford's character. The opposite: he is complex and well written and imperfect, and I love him and his character arc. He could've been so easily made into an irredeemable villain, a no good bastard who's just horrible and abusive. He had all those pieces laid out. But the choice and skill to actually have him go through the motions of falling into abusive tendencies and then getting better is amazing on Alex Hirsch's part, and a testament to his ability to write deep and complex characters.
(also this is just kind of my own aside but the use of "autistic-coded" as like an excuse for how a character acts is really annoying to me for a number of reasons? For one, just off the bat, it's an attempt to make your headcanon sound more canon than it is, but by nature of being a headcanon, it's not really a fair or valid argument here. Second, there are ways to make a legitimate argument and analysis of a characters actions in canon and debate criticisms of their actions without saying "they're autism coded so actually you must hate autistic people", like it's okay, you're allowed to make a legitimate argument. Also, "character did shitty thing because they're autistic" isn't the win you think it is, because let's be real, you're either implying that they have no autonomy over their actions because of their autism, or that you think autism makes people shitty or toxic, neither of which is the win you think it is. Ironically lack of media literacy applies in both cases here, just for different reasons. Okay side rant over, just wanted to throw that out there because holy hell it's something that is used so much in fandom and it gets grating after a while.)
The tldr here is that Ford isn't an abuser. He was abused, he had toxic and abusive traits, but he put in the work to heal and better himself. He's by no means perfect and that's okay, he's a good character, and he's actually trying to be better.
Today in "I hate autistic-coded abuse victims", this shitty take.
Ford did not abuse Stan. He did not abuse Fiddleford. He did not try to drive a wedge in Dipper and Mabel's relationship (he was doing what he thought was best for Dipper and thought Mabel would be fine).
Just admit you hate autistic people and have no compassion for abuse victims. And admit you have no media literacy.
Also, calling a canonical abuse victim an abuser is...uncomfortable, to say the least. Especially with how you're just making him out to be abusive for...not handling personal interactions perfectly. You're demonizing autistic traits. And you need to research how abuse can effect people.
(Also, I know Ford's not perfect. But you don't seem to know that he's flawed but ultimately a good person. You just want a "perfect victim" when it comes to abuse victims, and it's obvious)
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#iii they could so easily make me hate you.#nickloon arc was the worst thing to ever come out of iii#unnecessarily long and stupid and hilariously poorly written#i actually feel insane seeing how many people just accept it at face value as The Canon#i know it Is canon but i dont care. Heart❤️#we need to bring back the fandom energy of collectively rejecting the shitty writing#nickloon arc did not happen its ok. take my hand#in my heart nickel digs himself a deeper hole of denying he did any wrong and everyone at most tolerates him#fits his character built up by s2 so much better and parallels other characters too#somewhere deep in his head i feel like he knows hes wrong. but by god it should not have been that easy to ''fix'' him#hes going to deny it until it kills him bc that means facing any regret or deeper feelings he doesnt wanna deal with#and that means admitting he made mistakes which is a huge blow to his ego#and his Cool Tough Leader personality#hes not gonna give that up so easily#and i dont think its in character for him to change within the timeframe of the show tbh . at least with the time they have left now#thats like a post canon Maybe to me#the only way ill accept it really
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There’s something really fascinating about the fact that one of the major themes that keeps appearing in Amazon is that of like, xenophobia? Like xenophobia against Amazon? Amazon is often persecuted and mistreated by the people he's trying to protect just because he looks and acts “strange”. He was attacked by a group of men who tried to kill him because they thought of him to be a murderer, he was later arrested by the police and then hounded by paparazzi for being “weird” or “suspicious”, A scientist learns of him and gets the idea he should literally study amazon- treat him as a specimen to be dissected then as a real person- he’s later harassed and literally restrained by another mob of people all because some random lady thought him simply playing with her son was something Nefarious / lead to something nefarious. Even Ritsuko, one of the major supporting characters, has a major part of her character be about overcoming her negative assumptions and thoughts about Amazon (There’s one episode, though i'm unsure if the subs cross over to all versions, where she literally tells him to Leave Japan and go back to the Amazon Jungle because he’s the reason all of the trouble came to Japan in the first place. Sounds awfully familiar to certain talking points, doesn’t it)
All of this occurs simply because Amazon does not fit into the ideal of the average Japanese citizen. He wears little clothing, he acts very erratically and energetically, and most imperatively of all he has a language barrier in that he can't communicate like speak Japanese fluently. Amazon is not in anyway a bad or dangerous person, but due to the culture/environment he was raised in and how that differs to what people expect as the norm, he’s more likely to be perceived as a threat.
I can not confidently say this was intentionally built into the show, but considering the innately political nature of Kamen Rider, at least Showa era Rider, I would be inclined to believe it’s more likely than not that Amazon's persecution by others is meant to at least tie in some way to a commentary about the deeply harmful nature of xenophobia. It makes Amazon's feelings, as well as his choice to still choose to care for others and to help them, a lot more impactful + heart wrenching for me personally. He’s literally just trying his best and so many people hate him. Cut the guy some fucking slack.
#kamen rider#kamen rider amazon#kamen rider extravaganza hour#dinu yells into the void#dinu yells in the void#hi. sorry. i#im PROMISE im still watching#i WILL finish amazon i promise its just been hard lately#anyways i love amazon. everyone should leave him the fuck alone#the subs im watching i think are kind of dodgy / scuffed / not the greatest#but i dont rly have the means to like get better ones#so like idk how much of this analysis is more based o#on those particular subs then the genuine show intention#but i do think again its more likely its show intention#i think there could be an argument made too its based off a lot of ableist views in society#but to me the xenophobia aspect of it shines through way more cleadly#like you dont often hear ‘disabled ppl you gotta go back to your original country’#for the record btw i am a disabled person and from a family of immigrants who has experienced xenophobia almost everyday of my life#so like. i have jurisdiction to talk about this okay.#im still kind of hrmmmm how they treat the incan aspect of amazons character#but its DEFINITELY not the worst treatment of the incans ive seen in superhero media#COUGHS THE ETERNALS BY JACK KIRBY COUGHS
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i have a headache
#i've been stuck scrolling instagram for the past few days#i don't even like being on there#modern ig is so overstimulating everything is either a reel or a reel in disguise or an image post that inexplicably has audio#i kept making myself go on there because i wanted to find a way to make art friends or a community or w/e#and i thought if i had more of a presence and interacted more i'd eventually get people to like. talk to me and comment stuff ig. idk#but ughhhh#i don't think insta is a good platform for that cause it's either pictures with a short caption or the worst media format known to man#like. idk i wanted to find and follow and be friends with and be Cool Artists (don't ask me to define that)#but no artist on instagram is a Cool Artist because there's no goddamn text on there#like if it makes sense i wanna find people who talk About art as well#but not in an art Discourse way#which is another thing. even if instagram had more Talking it would still be shit because the mainstream 'art community' is insufferable#art tiktok is that on steroids#and instagram is is bootleg tiktok#the same five discourse topics jokes memes advice whatever the only difference is now they're circlejerking about ai too#i wanna be Casual and Spontaenous and Mysterious and shit but IG's layout makes me feel like i can't just post whatever#i feel this pressure to give my posts all the same format and add tags and do this and do that and have good Branding or w/e#and it's just ughhh why can't I be a famous enigma (<- doesn't make or share anything)#even on tumblr the pressure is the same#and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do#like my attempts at categorising and tagging and being consistent#it's just so. yuck#i want to have a Good Brand but i also want to be 'real' but then i look back at my disjointed messy past work and i cringe#i think i need to block my irls from my art accounts bc i feel super embarassed trying to do any typical Get Noticed on Social Media thing#cause it feels embarassing being seen doing shit that's ''influencer-y'' (idk what to call it)#cause it feels out of character to how i actually am in real life#but also why i do want to show my ''real'' character? I'm not cool#and that's another thing I've had these accounts for ages#looking at my past posts makes me fuckign cringe#I want to purge them or start over
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finished hera & started lady macbeth and we have got to start blaming women for shit again for real
#this is a joke. but.#if i have to read one more retelling~ that’s just#‘but what if the woman was ASSAULTED ALL THE TIME and had NO AGENCY so everything bad she did was JUSTIFIED or a LIE???’ please stop#when you’re actively taking agency away from women written and portrayed in deeply patriachal cultures you’re not giving them a voice#youre taking the voice they had away.#women worked around and within the patriarchy while having feelings and ambitions and wants and dreams and flaws and virtues forever.#without the necessity of ‘but what if the MAN in her life was just SUPER EVIL and NOT NUANCED and she was just ASSAULTED’#what if no women wanted anything but SAFETY ever what if they were never power hungry or jealous or predatory ever themselves?#yes circe did this too if i have to see one more person say ‘oh except circe’ i will scream.#circe is literally like. the worst offender here.#pivoting back though sorry but it also all feels very bioessentialist PRESUMABLY without meaning to but ‘oh men are just inherently evil#with no nuance. nuance is for women and by nuance we mean was just super oppressed and wronged’ is uh haha actually terfy as fuck#good ol lady macunsexmeherebeth who definitely didn’t plot the whole thing to begin with for sure needs to be Given a Voice#i haven’t finished this one yet btw. i like this author’s work on the whole i just think this one is a swing and a miss because like.#this is not a woman who didn’t do anything and who didn’t have a voice.#if you want to show us her perspective in terms of her psychology and her inner workings and how she got to this place excellent wonderful#but not when the answer is just ‘but actually nothing was her fault ever!!!!!!’ like. lol let her want that crown for reasons that aren’t#my husband is abusive.#like oh my god.#same with hera you’re gonna go with the ONE tradition where she didn’t want to marry zeus#and all her rage is just about Injustice and the Patrairchy and not actual envy. okay.#she & zeus were an og most toxic couple of all time but they WERE in virtually all tradition a couple still who had times of reconciliation#and attachment.#like you know. actual toxic and abusive relationships do.#also it completely erased rhea who was actually the character whose story this more closely resembled#(warrior goddess with flop husband she finally schemes against)#instead she just. uh. went away oh no hera’s so afraid of being weak like mama she must break the cycle.#like okay this is the story you want to tell stop superimposing it on mythical entities from thousands of years ago then.#justice4rhea.#okay sorry. end rant.
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My unpopular bg3 opinion is they tried way too hard to make some of these characters mean and flippant which is meant to make the player more interested in them and clearly this has worked on many (good for you !) but personally i could not care less. If 80% of what a character has to say to me is bitchy i will simply leave them at camp for most of the game
#Is this a skill issue of mine yeah maybe. I just find it annoying#At best and off-putting at worst like is there no better way to show that shadowheart is going through stuff/have her be mean that isnt#Her getting pissy that you have respect for a bunch of dead slaves#That was wild. I didnt ask her either she just had the need to let me know she thinks these slaves aint shit bc they didnt fight back#Thanks larian!#Wild take maybe idk but i dont think that makes her interesting i think it makes her off-putting. In this case#I generally like shadowheart this just sure is a thing to have her say. And not give the player an option to respond in any way#Ill get over this single line but im mad now. This isn't the only instance of this#I guess both larian and bioware think that characters thinking slavery is kinda ok is not a deal breaker#Txt#I know that these characters soften during the game. I have played a fair amount of it. I did shadowhearts quest i know whats up. Still#In both her and astarions case i think theyre written to have some wild takes on whats Ok to do that get kinda swept under the rug#if you manage to shove them in a Good direction. But u dont. Actively see them grapple with any of it#They just suddenly go wow im better now. Yay. I suddenly dont want to enslave other people for my power (in astarions case)#Like this switch flipped bc of my one roll? Idk. Im not super convinced#I know this is how the game works. I just think it could have been written better
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Actually, yeah, that's clearly the difference between how I view Marinette's social-emotional skills and what others are saying: I think Marinette had poor social-emotional skills even before the retool.
The way I see it, Marinette has always acted like a coddled teen. There’s a reason so many of my examples of Marinette’s parents came from the pre-retool show, and why my description of Marinette as someone who can't handle stress, can't handle setbacks and considers her problems the most important problems, no matter how minor applies to Marinette's original characterization as well as the retooled Marinette.
Marinette used to do almost all of the stuff she does now, but to a lesser extent and she used to make up for it afterwards. Teenagers lean towards self-centeredness because their sense of self and identity is going through rapid development, but Marinette has always been very single-minded about this, and her poor skills in relating to others make her easily trample on other people's feelings. Of course, part of this was the original show's format of wanting to teach a lesson through Marinette's mistakes, but that's exactly what makes her relatable to kids with poor social-emotional skills; she's also learning.
Basically, being too preoccupied with herself has always been a weakness of Marinette’s; she has to see another person get upset before she realizes she did something to hurt them. The difference is that, before the retool, Marinette used to realize that she should make up for what she did wrong and then did so. After the retool Marinette’s reaction to her mistakes is to double down, make excuses or cry about what a terrible person she is and how bad she feels until she gets vindicated. The change in Marinette's character is in how much she thinks she should take responsibility for her mistakes.
Ever since the beginning, Marinette's gotten constant praise as Ladybug; everyone always tells her she’s the best, did everything right and is always correct about everything. At worst, her actions lead to “different consequences”. In addition to this, she has all the power and control in the hero team dynamics, making everyone else inferior to her. This has clearly gone to her head, so now she no longer sees her own mistakes as mistakes, because she’s the greatest Ladybug ever who can do no wrong and everyone else is just a pawn in her great master plans. She has no sense of accountability. She will over-blame herself when she gets caught messing up royally, but only until someone absolves her of guilt and then she takes no steps to avoid making that same mistake in the future, because she wasn't really at fault, she was told she wasn't.
Consider the Kagami bullying arc. In 'Ikari Gozen', Marinette accepts she was wrong about Kagami and had no right to interfere with her the way she did. She does go back to it briefly in 'Love Hunter' in a moment of weakness, but overall she accepts that sabotaging Kagami isn't right. If this story had happened post-retool, I have no doubt the conclusion to 'Ikari Gozen' would have been Marinette crying about how she's a horrible person and as bad as Chloé to Kagami, with Kagami saying something like: "You are much kinder than Chloé. You just love Adrien. In fact, clearly your love for Adrien is much deeper and purer than mine. I will gladly step down so that you can be with your soulmate."
Post-retool Marinette can’t be wrong about anything, so she never really accepts fault. She makes a big deal about how bad she feels, but only to people who will instantly appease, comfort and forgive her, and she never makes up for what she did wrong or even tries to avoid making the same mistakes. And that’s what makes her previously acceptable and understandable personal weaknesses into absolutely grating character flaws. The somewhat-coddled normal girl is now a spoiled brat and a terror boss, not because she lost her social skills, but because she lost her sense of accountability.
It's very ironic. The girl who whines about how she has too many responsibilities and she can't handle it accepts no responsibility for her own actions.
This is a longer one, sorry 😅
About that ask you replied to about Marinette's parents. I didn't grow up in a healthy household and i struggle to form a properly informed opinion on Marinette's parents in all this mess.
Cause clearly they are very loving, caring, and supportive, but they aren't perfect either. They are realistically human. They have blind spots, didnt actually RAISE her apparently when she does things wrong, and hardly give Marinette any boundaries or consequences to face, which now evolved into her neither being able to handle anything not going her way nor having to actually take people into consideration and go through with improving on the things she said she should.
Im pretty sure Marinette was a very friendly child who didn't cause too many problems, if at all, so now that she's a complicated teenager who actually needs some boundaries and discipline they dont know how to handle it. Thats the picture im getting. Not to mention that they don't know Marinette is Ladybug so they have no idea what's caused all these extreme changes in their daughter and how to accommodate to properly help her.
But in my eyes, without the whole Ladybug thing, this is still a pretty normal and realistic portrayal of a modern family, so Marinette is simply a normal ass kid. She's clearly spoiled to a solid degree and emotionally shielded the way most middle class kids from central Europe are. Just because her family isn't perfect doesn't it mean she's being abused or her parents are bad. For me, they are a realistic healthy family. Whatever faults her parents have are pretty common things parents do wrong.
But this now raises the question for me how exactly to go about Marinette's family. Obviously her parents didn't to everything right in their parenting, so those flaws of Marinette can be traced back to them while Marinette at the same time SHOULD normally STILL be asked to grow out of it the way any normal teenager should, it's just slightly more challenging.
But then I see discussions that take it way too far imo but I don't know where exactly to draw the line.
It is correct that Tom and Sabine for example seem to know very little about their daughter's friend group to the point that they just let Sabrina into Marinette's room. The common argument I see being raised here is that Sabine is neglective because she doesn't know that Sabrina isn't Marinette's friend.
Now this doesn't feel quite right to me. Marinette's parents seem to be pretty much unaware that their daughter was bullied in school which unfortunately isn't at all uncommon. When the parents are neither told by the child or the school, then how are they supposed to know? The most they seem to know is that Marinette has a hard time with Chloé, but I never had the impression that they know how serious this was. Marinette sure was never shown to ever voice any of that.
So Sabine thinking Sabrina is Marinette's friend is a fair enough assumption in my eyes. I remember back when I was 12-13, forming friendship in a collective class is alot easier when you're a kid. Kids just go with the flow like that and become friends in 10 seconds even if they aren't spending much time with each other directly. Forming connections tends gets more difficult as one grows older.
I don't think at that age parents can be faulted for not keeping track of all their kid's friendships. Sabrina running up to Sabine and claiming she's Marinette's friend and Sabine believing her is honestly nothing too special.
What I take issue with, though, is that Sabine just let Sabrina go into Marinette's room ALONE. That a parent, imo, truly shouldn't do.
And yet, one still wouldn't call her a BAD parent for that, right? It's very flawed, but obviously Marinette also continues to rely on her parents doing that with the amount of times Alya just gets to come and go however she please, even with Marinette not being there, despite Marinette knowing Alya merely year at this point. Way less than Sabrina for example.
There is this persistent grey area here that I can't quite place. Marinette's parents are very obviously very trusting, but the way the show portrays it seems to border on neglective imo, but it's based in their daughter just getting free reign most of the time so Marinette can do shit in her room and leave for long periods of time for example that parents should normally check on their kids for.
So, at the same time, is it actually neglect? Thanks to being Ladybug, it is Marinette who has pulled more and more away from her parents and since season 4 is doing so to honestly very unnecessary degrees. There is little reason for why Marinette constantly locks herself and Alya into her room and doesn't spend much time with her parents when all that Marinette is doing in there is panicking and not doing something actually productive most of the time anyway. You may as well just spend time with your parents instead of crying to Alya that you supposedly CANT (while taking over Alya's life and being the actual reason why SHE cant)
Teenagers at Marinette's age starting to pull away from their parents is nothing uncommon. So I'm pretty sure that's just how it looks like for her parents. Marinette is starting to grow up and doesn't prioritize spending time or sharing her life with them as much anymore.
Can't pretend like that's not a sad truth parents have to deal with, so the kid's friends are trusted by the parents to know their kid in ways they don't anymore.
Marinette has very loving and caring parents who don't push her to involve them or share what she doesn't want to. Now here is the question. While this is neglective to a degree and Marinette does seem to be affected badly by it, is this necessarily something her parents are doing objectively WRONG? From their perspective, their daughter is growing up and so busy that they aren't much of a priority in her life. She's pulling more and more away and her parents try to adjust to that supportively without being given context as any parent must.
Clearly the created distance has Marinette now incorrectly believe that her parents aren't actually a real support system anymore, the way Marinette didnt even try to reach out in Kwamis Choice and her thinking she has lost EVERYTHING at the end of season 4 and then proceeding to act like she doesn't think she truly has anyone or anything in season 5 too.
Now, is Marinette thinking that she has NOTHING at the end of season 4, and still seeming to think so in season 5, something her parents failed at teaching her better?
When a kid starts pulling away from their supportive family, because they are so used to having them, and ends up convincing themselves that their parents dont count anymore as support because it isnt as perfect and easy as they'd like, is this a failure of the parents for not sitting their child down to remind them that the kid isn't the emotional equivalent of an orphan now the moment they have to do something alone?
Or is this simply a normal thing a teenager has to realize on their own? That just because the loving parents aren't a perfect support system anymore, doesn't it mean the kid just gets to disregard them fully as an option the way Marinette constantly does?
Because, well, this IS what it constantly feels like for me when it comes to Marinette.
When Marinette takes offense with her parents not unconditionally believing her all the time, is it really always her parents fault for not having raised her to handle push back better, or is it also just a natural part of growing up that you have to get over yourself and realize that your parents too need context for the situations you're in (e.g. Adoration) because growing up means you're parents shouldn't just handwave all the accountability away you potentially have to take now because you're not an 8 year old anymore and capable of genuine wrongdoing?
Yes, her parents definitely failed a solid bit in regards of leaving Marinette emotionally immature and unprepared when it comes to pushback, criticism, or considerations of others.
But to what degree are her parents actually WRONG in wanting Marinette to learn it for herself now because that's normally how it done?
Do her parents REALLY have to sit her 14-15 year old ass down and teach her that other people have feelings and lives of their own? That reality exists outside of her head and feelings? Or should a teenager be expected to learn that themselves, especially one that's so busy and involved in everything as Marinette? Cause it actually seems to me that her being Ladybug caused her stunted development in this regard. Because being Ladybug always serves as the right excuse to always demand and expect the others to do the learning cause she's "too stressed" and "too justified as leader who doesn't owe anyone anything, but is owed everything herself cause she says so".
It's seems that it's rather that being Ladybug caused the damage in Marinette's development which her parent can't know about, and not that her parents are particularly failing by not holding their daughter's hand all through growing up even more to spoon-feed her every bit of development she should grow into now to make sure its as pleasant and easy as possible?
In my opinion, from teenage age onwards it's not the parents' job to tell their children at any uncomfortable or challenging occasion what's right and wrong and do all the work in the child's personal development into a young adult. And isn't that what Marinette's parents are being criticised for anyway? That they don't let their daughter face disappointment, discipline, and struggles because it makes her upset? But now they are in the wrong for wanting to have their daughter learn and figure things out in their own, but fully intend on always being there for her in every way when she needs it?
There definitely IS a complicated grey area here where these two parenting styles badly overlapped and caused problems.
Tom and Sabine DO give Marinette way too much free reign cause it badly clashes with how little discipline, rules, boundaries, and consideration she was raised to actually having to oblige to as part of living with other people.
Marinette was not well prepared for the freedom she now has, but looking at it in general, the problem seems much more to be Marinette being Ladybug, and not necessarily that she's a teenager who lacks refined emotional intelligence because she grew up shielded and cuddled. If Marinette had a normal life, she would have some more trouble growing out of it, but it's not like her parents ruined her.
I think it's that Marinette is Ladybug that is to blame here. Because that's how she was put in a position where she learned that she just needs to stomp her foot, scream, cry, or use her titel to make it so that it's always everyone else who has to do the learning and not her. Marinette's concerning entitlement grew through being Ladybug and not tolerating anything but having all the support, resources, and everyone beneath her in the hierarchy who must submit to her will or else she cant function.
Whatever problems her parents caused in her upbringing should have been easy enough to grow out of. It's LADYBUG who stunted that development because Marinette learned that she has the option to just demand that everyone has to cater to her instead. That is not her parents fault, but it always leaves me at the same problem of not knowing how to properly dissect and discuss what blame Tom and Sabine objectively have in this.
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This is a very insightful and interesting essay, Anon. When it comes to Marinette’s parents, it's really hard to call them “bad parents”, because they're really good at many things that come to parenting. They're supportive, they respect Marinette's space and privacy, they believe in her ability to handle herself and Marinette clearly feels safe with them. And you're also right that it's extremely difficult for them to guide Marinette learning social-emotional skills now that she's a willful teenager and wouldn't be receptive to her parents “correcting her behavior” if they even knew there was something to correct.
I also don't think Marinette's parents can see all the issues with Marinette’s conduct. She is a very “easy” child; she's polite, she respects authority and doesn't get into purposeful mischief. She's the exact kind of child adults don't worry about, so they don't have to constantly keep an eye on her. Especially since a lot of her problems come to the forefront as Ladybug, a whole new part of her life her parents aren’t involved in.
The thing here is that 14-year-olds not knowing that other people have feelings or how to deal with disappointments is exactly why early childhood education is now emphasizing the teaching of these skills so much. For a long time, there was a belief that kids learn social-emotional skills naturally and there's no need to purposefully teach them, because kids will “get it” when they're “old enough to understand”. Except that we have now discovered that they don't, in fact, just naturally “get it”. These skills need to be taught in early childhood, starting from simple ideas like “your friend is crying because you took their toy, don’t do that again” and moving up from there. And the only way to teach these things in a purposeful way is to put your small kids with other small kids and let them do small kid things, even if it results in someone ending up crying, especially if someone ends up crying, because learning to deal with your own emotional responses and other people having emotional reactions to your actions is, in fact, an essential life and relationship skill. The theory of mind (the understanding that other people have thoughts and feelings that can differ from your own) is something that preschoolers are expected to learn and should get support in learning if they don't.
I’m saying Marinette should already know this stuff. Her parents and possible kindergarten teacher should have taught her almost a decade ago.
However, I don’t disagree with your assertion that being Ladybug is why these common problems with Marinette’s conduct are such a big issue for her relationships now. Because her upbringing neglected to teach her essential social-emotional skills, and she’s been shoved into a position of not just power, but absolute power where no one is in a position to question her, she’s now a nightmare boss who expects everyone else to be fully committed to making the broken system she’s running run smoothly while she comes up with some nonsense project to keep busy so that she has the excuse to take her frustrations out on everyone beneath her.
If Marinette was just constantly ditching her friends so that she could do something relating to her love quest, I’m pretty sure the most severe, realistic consequences for her friends would just be them thinking she doesn’t want to hang out, feeling bummed and no longer inviting her. Marinette being in a position of leadership both exacerbates her social-emotional ineptitude and makes its consequences more severe, because now they’re facing dangerous situations and the leadership only doesn’t care if they get hurt, but sometimes actively hurts them for the sake of achieving some other goal in the future.
We must consider that Marinette has been Ladybug for only a year, while her parents have raised her since birth. Anything being Ladybug has taught Marinette was learned on the basis her parents gave her. I don’t think this is an either-or situation. Now that she's an independent teenager, of course her parents expect her to pull away, be private and figure things out on her own. What Marinette is doing wrong now is on her, because she's the one taking on all these responsibilities, leaving others in the dark, not consulting anyone who doesn't just appease her and making decisions for others. However, this being her go-to approach shows us that her parents failed her in the past.
I think Marinette's parents are doing everything right for an older child, but I also think they were very out of their depth when Marinette was a small child. She clearly wasn't taught this stuff that has to be taught at an early age because she's now a teenager and seems to have no clue how interpersonal relationships work. Of course she's still too young to understand everything, especially romance, but she lacks basic understanding of mutual friendship as well. It just really feels like Marinette's parents have never had any expectations for her, even when she was a small child throwing a fit when she didn't get her way.
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Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.
#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same#perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues#and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop#AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!#but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love'#and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this#but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all#and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and#learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense#and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem'#is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from#but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him'#EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!?#AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER#IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!!#so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS#so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it#s such a fuckinf mess!!!!!#i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here?????#i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart#start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks#remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline.#but if i say that i will get assassinated#anyway.#sock count#personal
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