#i think shit like this as if im not a dirty rotten coward

[sad-writers]

3:06 AM

I am bleeding out of my heart constantly constantly and I am staining everything and everyone 

And I keep bleeding and keep wondering why everyone is always greeting me with a wince, angling themselves to avoid the worst of my mess, and leaving pulling wet and ruined shirts away from their bodies 

and I keep wondering why I always feel a little empty on the inside 

And I have to keep reminding myself it’s because you’re bleeding yoire bleeding you’re bleeding and there’s a special place where it all goes which is down the drain when they wash the red from their hands and you cant forget that you are just too much. You’re bleeding out of your heart all the time and you’re ruining everyone’s clothes 

And I’m trying I swear. I’m trying to pull away from hugs faster and make only the lightest touches. Im trying to stay inside in my room where the only things I can ruin are my own sheets, and certainly no one cares if I stain those. I’m still marred by my own impermanence and unimportance and I just get desperate sometimes and you're always cold when your insides keep seeping out of your like they also just can't wait to get away

I guess nothing was meant to stay by my side

n.