#i think people don't understand how it is amazing depression didn't end me in those years

[maverickcalf]

"If you check out of politics you never really cared-" okay i felt the world was ending and wanted to off myself like once to ten times a week because of the news in '17-'20 and had dreams once a week/month about about gun violence but yeah okay okay

[creedslove]

OMG BESTIE YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT.

i had this dream where me, Joel and Ellie were in Jackson and him and I were together after years of surviving and then (I still don't know how) I switched to the no-outbreak time where Sarah is alive and Joel is in his 40's. We didn't knew each other and I accidently bumped into him while walking with my daughter Ellie (at that point I'm in tears) and we look at each other and I have this deja vu and he seems to have it too! We don't say anything, just smile at each other and then I wake up. (I hope it makes sense 😭)

I wish Joel was real. (especially with his silver hair and southern accent that makes my knees buckle)

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: omg bestie you got me screaming and crying and throwing up honestly! This dream is amazing and it sort of reminds me of X-Men Days of Future Past in which Wolverine needs to go back in time to save the mutants and prevent the extinction of mutants and humans! I like this idea so I turned into a headcanon adapting to the no mutation tlou reality hehehehe

• Joel thought the dreams he was having were beyond explanation at how weird they really were; every single night he would wake up in cold sweat, panting and wondering what the hell was going on with him

• his dream was always the same: he would dream about a world that had ended and for some reason he had survived, where monstrous creatures that seemed a mix of humans and some kind of fungus had wiped most of civilization and the world as he knew; in the dream Joel was a low life, a depressed, lonely and hard guy who had lost the will of living right after his daughter got killed and that was enough for Joel to snap wake and immediately tiptoe to her bedroom, just to watch her sleep and make sure she was alright and her bedroom was still pink and full of butterflies and not some ruin of what things used to be

• it puzzled Joel, because he had no idea where that was coming from; he wasn't one to watch zombie or horror stuff, reading books was definitely not his cup of tea and he seriously couldn't understand why kids like Sarah obsessed over watching TikToks, so he thought he didn't actually have the creativity for that

• maybe he'd eaten one of Tommy's suspicious brownies by accident?! It could be a possibility, but his brother was extra careful with these since Sarah was around

• still, it didn't matter the reason why Joel had those disturbing dreams, but the frequency they were happening, and not only that: he very often saw people he knew from his everyday life in the dream as well

• such as his former girlfriend Tess, his brother Tommy and his girl Maria, he recalls seeing those two kids who lived down the street from him... Henry and Sam, he recognized them from Sarah's school, the older brother making ends meet and always having to attend parent - teacher conferences and the little one being the gifted student his daughter told him about

• even that nut job from the other block, Kathleen showed up every once in a while, Bill and Frank, and several other friends and acquaintances Joel had met through his life and the city

• but from all the crazy shit his, what baffled him the most was that you and your daughter Ellie featured in his dream as well; he knew Ellie was a firecracker from all the school meetings he'd attended, which honestly amused him. He thought she was pretty strong and smart and it always made him chuckle when she put a boy back into his place

• but it was so confusing to him that he almost had a fatherly bond with her, at the same time he had a relationship with you. Joel had always found you attractive and he very often kept in the back of his mind his desire of asking you out, but he never went through it, and yet, in his apocalyptic dreams you were going strong, it was just odd

• Joel kept thinking of those dreams for a few days, he even considered seeing a shrink after Sarah told him he should do it, but being a stubborn Miller the way he was, he just shrugged it off and eventually, his sleep went back to normal and he got too caught up with work to pay attention to things like that

• it was only one weekend where he was taking a walk around the neighborhood with Sarah, he ended up running into you, smiling and waving gently, he felt his heart skip a beat, thinking of your apocalyptic romance and thinking of how crazy it would be to miss something he never really had

• when you saw your neighbor Joel waving and smiling from across the street, you immediately reciprocate, he was handsome and you would be lying if you said you didn't have the slightest crush on him, but he would think you were crazy if he ever found out you had the craziest dream about him, in which you both had to survive in an apocalyptic world while being a couple 🥴

____

[angelxd-3303]

Tw: kind of a vent, mention of depression and anxiety.

I'm sure you've all noticed by now that I haven't been posting a whole lot as of late. To be honest, I've kind of been avoiding this blog, not because of anything my followers did, but mainly because I kind of lost the meaning of my art.

I started using Tumblr exclusively to use the messaging feature to chat with my partner four years ago, but decided to share some of my art, just for fun. I wanted to make people happy, wanted to use my art and writing to not only convey how I felt and what I was experiencing, but to help those going through something similar feel heard and seen. I feel like I have achieved that, in some cases, and it makes me feel good to know that I've made someone's day, or that my writing made them feel understood.

As time progressed though, I began to feel like I had an obligation. Art and writing began to feel more like a chore, and that combined with my resurfacing depression and anxiety made it nearly impossible to even pick up the pencil. It seemed more draining than anything, and the art I did make I didn't share because it reflected my mental state in a deep and personal way.

Tldr, I'm sorry to all the people who have been waiting for updates to my stories, or more Mario content in general, or answers to their asks. It's not that I don't want to finish them, or make more content. It's just that I've realized that my lack of motivation is coming from the fact that I'm making art that I think others want, and not art that I want.

I've been rediscovering Undertale lately, reminded of how amazing the game is and how deep the storyline is, and I want to make more content for that. I'm big into weirdcore and would like to explore it as a style. I want to revisit Dhmis and expand on their story. There's so much I wanna do, but I've been holding myself back and trying to make myself as enthusiastic about Mario as I was before. The truth is, hyperfixations come and go for me, and that's ok. Mario will probably come back here and there, but I'm gonna try to focus on the stuff that I wanna do, because that's when my art is best, and when I feel the best making it. I can't tell you how satisfying it was to draw that piece with Asriel and his parents! I was into Undertale when it first blew up, my friend and I, but left when the fandom began to get toxic. It's so sad to me how disturbed it was, but now I'm much wiser with regards to internet safety, and I know to avoid certain things.

It's very nostalgic for me to rediscover the game, the music I listened to on loop years ago, the amazing artists who had a pure and genuine love for the characters, all of it.

In short, Mario isn't gone, they're just off enjoying their happy ending for awhile before they feel like visiting again. Again, I hope you all understand, and can find content you love from my blog! From now on though, I'm gonna try to avoid forcing myself to make content I don't love. Because from the beginning my art has been an escape that made me happy. If it doesn't make me happy, what's the point lol?

I love and appreciate you all so much,and I hope you can understand this word vomit. Hope you all have a lovely day.

[iheartpeppino]

I thought about posting this on AO3 but I realized that tagging it would be a nightmare, so... here it is, my love letter to Peppino Spaghetti, in response to his letter to me. (For context: we are engaged in this scenario.)

Dearest Peppino,

It was very sweet of you to find the time to write me a letter when I know how busy you've been with the pizzeria. I honestly can't stop reading it over and over. It warms my heart to know that even with all the stress you take on daily, working as hard as you do, you still think of me and make time for me. It amazes me how much you really do love me. Then again, we wouldn't be getting married if that weren't the case, right?

Mom and I have been keeping quite busy planning the wedding. Currently, she's trying to find someone who will supply the flowers. I'm trying to work on the guest list and decide who's doing what during the ceremony and the reception. Making so many big decisions for such an important day is exhausting, but in the end, it'll be worth it. Because it's going to be the perfect day that celebrates our love, Peppino. And I couldn't be more excited about it.

I know you're nervous about the big day, sweetie. I don't like the idea of standing up in front of so many people, either. And I totally understand you not wanting to wear itchy clothes. I want you to be comfortable, so... if you wanna wear your normal clothes plus a bow tie to our wedding, I'd be okay with it! Heck, wear your hat, too, if you'd like! I mean, the dress I picked out isn't exactly traditional. As long as you look nice and feel comfortable, you can wear whatever you want, okay? This is your day, too, sweetie. I care about your happiness just as much as you care about mine.

And hey, don't worry about all the people watching us during the ceremony. They're gonna see us, and they're all gonna be jealous of us. Because we found each other, and we're planning to spend the rest of our lives together. How many people can safely say they found their other half? Not many!

I keep picturing our big day. Me, walking down the aisle, wearing my dress. You, waiting at the altar for me, smiling at me. You're sweating nervously, but you're just as excited as I am. I approach you, take your hands in mine, and gaze into your eyes. I get lost in my feelings of love for you even as the preacher drones on; I barely care about a word he says as I focus solely on you, and how happy you make me every time I'm with you. Oh, I'll pay attention when I have to. I'll say “I do”, exchange rings and vows with you. And I'll do it all with passion! But just know that all the rest of the time, I'll be too busy floating on cloud nine, because I'm so happy I'm finally going to be your wife.

Hey, Pep... I didn't want to worry you, but... there's a reason I haven't been stopping by as much lately. I've actually been feeling a bit depressed lately, and it's been weighing on me. The world is a pretty messed up place right now, and it's hard not to feel down about it. Honestly, I need to stop watching the news. There are too many genuinely terrible people out there who have nothing better to do than to take advantage of those more poor and desperate than they are. It's super-disheartening, to say the least, and I've lost so much hope for this world.

Receiving your letter when I did was like someone turning on a light in the dark.

I think as long as you and I stick together through this world's craziness, we'll be fine. Like you said, we're doing this life thing together. Whether it's taking care of the restaurant or something bigger, we'll do it as a team. I've got your back, honey! I know you have mine, too.

You know how you say I make you feel calm even when you don't want to feel calm? You have the same effect on me, honestly. Whenever I see you, or hear your voice, or think about you, I'm suddenly grounded. I'm not freaking out like I usually do. So strongly you have won my heart, you've calmed the storm in my brain. You really are a special man, Peppino. I'm so happy you're mine. And I'm so, so grateful to be yours.

Please do me a favor and take your own advice. Don't push yourself too hard, and remember to take breaks, okay? I know you're a strong man who likes to work hard and get things done, but your mental health ALWAYS comes first, got it? If you ever feel like you need a break, don't be afraid to ask for help and take one for as long as you need. I mean it. I'll be mad if you push yourself too hard! I don't mind taking care of you, but the last thing I want is for you to make yourself sick because you were too stubborn. I don't mean to sound like a nag, I promise. I'm just worried about you. Please, please take care of yourself, Peppino! I love you with all my heart and soul, my beautiful sweet man!

Love,

Melissa

P.S. I've been thinking about our future together... how do you feel about starting a family?

[megu-meow]

siblings or dating? - megumi fushiguro

megumi x fem. reader

Request: Hey I love your works !! I have a request. Megumi along with his friends (maybe even his teacher) spot Megumi’s s/o hanging out with her brother (they don’t know that the guy is her brother) which led to a lot of funny misunderstandings.

TW: there are light mentions of anxiety, depression and similar mental health issues in this, please avoid reading if those topics make you uncomfortable!

Megumi respects and trust you with his whole heart. He knows your morals are unshakable, you treat everyone with thoughtfulness and consideration. The thought of you cheating on him has never crossed his mind and you never gave him any reason to think otherwise. It wasn't easy for him to get there either, he was closed off and unapproachable at first, it took a long time for him to warm up to you, but after he did he became the most loving and affectionate boyfriend you could have asked for.

Everyone knew you two were made for each other. His friends and his sensei all noticed how he became more sociable, he smiled more often and he learned how to express his feelings without having anxiety about it.

He made you less gullible and less trusting towards people you just met. He also helped you a lot with anxiety and low self-esteem, he never failed to ensure you about how amazing and strong you were, he assured you that he will always be by your side and make you feel better, if you were down.

The two of you were so in love sometimes Gojo started to worry that you would end up cursing each other, like Yuta did with Rika. He knew Megumi would break into pieces if something were to happen to you, just as much as he was aware that you would become depressed beyond return if you were separated from the raven-haired boy. Gojo had a reason to believe that love was the most twisted curse of them all. So when he spotted you with another boy sipping on a matcha latte at a romantic cafe, laughing, having fun, while Megumi was walking anxiously beside him, he believed it was best not to point it out to the ravenette.

"What's wrong, Fushiguro? You've been awfully silent all day." Yuji asks nonchalantly.

"Uh... It's no big deal... Y/n-chan didn't text me back since morning and I'm worried something might be wrong." he says, his voice is laced with concern and worry, which makes Gojo's blood boil. Why would you treat Megumi like that? The boy deserves all that's best in the world and up until that point, Gojo thought that was you, but he slowly starts to doubt it.

"Let's just ask her, she's right there!" Yuji point you out in the cafe and Megumi turns in the direction the pink-haired idiot is pointing in record speed. His shoulders slump and his slight smile drops upon seeing you with someone else. The worst scenarios start to play in his brain, how you must have fallen out of love with him and were too scared to break up, so you found consolation in someone else.

"Ok, before your crazy mind goes somewhere it shouldn't, please consider the fact that Y/n loves you with her whole heart and she would never cheat on anyone, especially not you. That shaggy haired bastard must be a friend or a relative." Nobara says and Megumi slightly relaxes, he knows the redhead is right.

"I am conducting thorough research on her Facebook page, I'm gonna find that Baka!" says Gojo with his phone in his hands, so concentrated with the task at hand he even pulled his blindfold down to see better?!

"I don't understand why don't we just ask her? She's our friend, she would tell us the truth." Yuji says and Kugisaki rolls her eyes from the boys gullible demeanor.

"Gojo-sensei?" Megumi says quietly.

"What's up?" he looks up from his phone, looking into his student's sad eyes.

"If it turns out he is her secret lover, can you please use Hollow Purple on him? It would make me feel better."

"Of course, everything for my precious Megumi-chan." the white haired idiot agrees without hesitation and Nobara has to physically stop herself from hitting her sensei on the head.

The raven-haired boy takes one more glance at the cafe and he notices how the two of you are gone. He panics slightly, but he doesn't really have much time to think about where you could have gone, he feels someone crushing into his side with force, their arms around his torso. Your scent reaches his senses and he hugs you back instinctively.

"Hi, Gumi! I missed you all day, what are you guys up to?" you talk fast, he can barely understand what you're saying, but he's gotten used to your excited rambling. You look him into his eyes with adoration, but pictures of you with the other boy flash through his mind so he looks back at you coldly and he steps away from you. He can see the glint of sadness appearing in your irises and he already feels bad, but he can't help it. "What's wrong?"

You wait for a response, but he just turns his head away from you coldly. You look at your friends and sensei expecting them to help you out, but they just look at you apologetically. Your blood starts to boil with anger and you turn away.

"I'll leave now, I know you don't want me here." you tell Megumi sadly "Call me if you are ready to tell me what have I done wrong. I will be with my Oniisan."

"YOUR WHAT?" Gojo and Yuji ask loudly and some people around you look into your group's direction with annoyed expressions.

"My brother. He's in town for work and asked me to meet me out here. I texted Megumi this morning about meeting with him, I even asked him to join, but he ignored me." you say looking at the boy questioningly, but he's only looking at his feet. He suddenly steps closer to you, his eyes still glued to the pavement and he embraces you tightly, as you hear a relaxed sigh leave his body.

"I'm sorry, pretty girl, I forgot that you texted me and these idiots made me think that you were on a date. I love you, please don't hate me." he whispers into your hair.

"It's okay, but I hope you are aware that I would never cheat on you, Gumi!"

"I know, sweetheart!"

"I love you, pretty boy!" you tell him and you leave a soft peck on his pink lips.

"Oh, maan! I really wanted to use Hollow Purple today!" Gojo wails with fake tears in his eyes and you look at Megumi expecting an explanation. He just shakes his head, signalling that it's nothing with the prettiest smile on his face.

[underworld-office-fan-account]

I hope it's not too much of a hassle but

What would everyone think about mitski (I LOVE MITSKI I LOVE MITSKI.) :3

Hi! Don't worry I also do really love mitski for reals MITSKI FAN UNITE!!! :D

_____

‹Eugene›:

★ Was recommended by Joy and also River because they said Mitski's songs were amazing.

★ The both didn't disappoint because it was absolutely mind-breaking

★Had a phase for a while where'd they daydream about the songs for a while without realizing it and was like 'oh no I am obsessed!!!'

★ Favorite song would probably be Last Words of a Shooting Star, thought it was pretty calming and related to it

★Realized the meaning and tried to relate to other songs but failed, second favorite is Francis Forever but they liked all of the songs.

‹Boss›:

★ River recommend. Genuinely overwhelmed. What the hell.

★ He's usually stubborn and listens to those old Korean songs/rhymes or some random K-drama track for no reason, but Mitski was an surprising exception.

★ Genuinely goes dead silent (Like completely stiff, not a normal quiet), if someone around him plays Mitski.

★ Favorite song probably Class of 2013. Could not get over the lyrics and was like 'why is this kind of me' but in a more noble fancy way I can't think of

★ Mommy issues for real lmao He mainly likes the calmer parts of her songs.

‹River›:

★ Wanted some girly pop songs and thought Mitski was the most woman of a woman she'd ever seen.

★ Head over heels hehehe

★ Flexes off the fact the knows many Mitski songs and also listened to her other songs that weren't included in her albums (she liked cop car).

★ Favorites were the songs in her Lush and Puberty 2 album, and Drunk Walk Home!!! Rock is life for her :]

★ Oddly took a liking to A Pearl a lot.

‹Hayden›:

★ Doesn't Really understand the meaning but likes the sounds of the beats and lyrics so there's that!!! Of course, heard Mitski from River.

★ Occasionally listens to her songs for a bit before going back to coco melon rip Hayden you would've loved being an ipad kid

★ The cats seems to like the songs though, so Hayden will usually steal River's phone to play songs for them.

★ Favorite is My Love Mine All Mine since its calming, reminds him of those highschool musicals prom scenes, and his mum used to sing in the same soft voice a lot. Might get emotional.

★ Also likes Strawberry Blonde :3

‹Joan›:

★ River recommend. Although she doesn't really like modern music, she could probably listen to Two Slow Dancers all day.

★ Probably likes those cliche calming love songs like old people do. I don't really know what genre but yea

★ Doesn't have much of an opinion on her, but will say her music's are decent enough

★ Favorite is of course, Two Slow Dancers and probably My Love Mine All Mine.

★ Doesn't like the ones with a rock kind of sounding.

‹Sean›:

★ Thinks she's a really good artist. Secretly sobs to her songs.

★ River recommend while yapping about Mitski and he said he'd give her songs a try. Never forgets about his promises and listened.

★ Likes First Love/Late Spring since it sounded like it'd smells like flowers.

★ Didn't know how to react ngl

★ Overall she's cool!!!

‹Charlie›:

★ Depressed. Will combust from the trainwreck of derealization hitting them in the guts and chest.

★ Of course, River kept playing Mitski on full blast and Charlie hated to mentally admit Mitski was actually a good artist.

★ Will listen to her as a background music while making paper crafts. But ends up zoning out and full on have their attention on the music instead. Hides the fact they liked Mitski because River was egotistical enough already.

★ Favorite was sadly Class of 2013 and Your Best American Girl, she was gonna genuinely go insane listening to it.

★ I think she's reacted pretty well (cue the mental breakdown)

‹Mike›:

★ Doesn't have much of an opinion, mostly because I'm still learning to write his character,,,

★ Heard her from boredly scrolling through TikTok, her song just ticked his brain in the right place.

★ Have only listened to her more optimistic-like songs, wait till he hears Lush and Be The Cowboy >:)

★ Favorite is probably Your Best American Girl

★ That's all I have </3

‹Luke›:

★ Joy kept recommending Mitski songs while doing karaoke one night.

★ Couldn't believe he only discovered her songs now because one: it was good. Two: she was popular??? How has he not herd of her???

★ Found out the whole group likes Mitski due to Joy now and was like 'eh, worth it'

★ Favorite is definitely Francis Forever and Once More to See You.

★Will now imagine music in his dream incase kitty ever listens to it with him.

‹Joy›:

★ BIGGEST. FAN. EVER. Genuinely obsessed. Loves every music released.

★ Loves yapping about Mitski even if her friends aren't listening, she's glad no one's stopping her from talking.

★ Wish she could go to concerts but she didn't have the money for concert tickets and flight tickets. Year for it to come true one day.

★ Loves her Laurel Hell and The Land is Inhospitable And So Are We albums, but adores every each songs.

★ You could tell she's obsessed with an music artist and it's either expectantly or unexpectedly Mitski.

‹Oliver›:

★ Joy kept telling him to listen to Mitski and he was like 'what if I don't want to' (Joy ends up making an empty threat saying she'll be in his walls if he didn't and he kind of took that seriously)

★ Thinks she's a pretty good artist, a solid 7/10 to be nice because Joy is going to haunts in his sleepings if he puts a 5

★ Occasionally finds himself singing a lyric and contemplate his life choices.

★ Likes Stay soft since it sounds really good.

★ Pray for him that Joy doesn't execute him with a lobotomy due to only knowing one album 🙏 /j

‹Finley and Tatum (Teenagers)›:

★ I'm also practicing on writing these two, so patience,,,

★Finley heard about it from Eugene talking about it while they were passing by, which they asked Tatum to listen to Mitski together.

★ They're faces were genuinely :0 because it was actually surprisingly good (listened to FL/LS)

★ Finley likes how good Francis Forever is and Tatum was Real Men since it sounded tough.

★ Yeag,,,,

‹Linda›:

★ Her adopted children (Finley and Tatum, my hc) kept yapping about it on some occasion so she went and tried it for herself.

★ She listens to the more calmer peaceful songs since rock might just give her a heart attack.

★ Likes First Love/Late Spring since it sounds like it'd smells like flowers.

★ Wonders if Sean would've love this kind of music just like she did.

★(Funny thing that's not a spoiler alert; he does)

_____

Ngl,,, I genuinely had fun writing this!!!

Although I probably wouldn't go with music artist since I'm not good with it but this was certainly fun to try out and write the characters I don't know much aswell :]

[mdhwrites]

I still like TOH, but your comments have made me notice something about reviews praising it: namely, a lot of the elements praised are specifically described- Belos’s character, Luz’s depression, the dark themes, the serialization, etc- as being amazing for a kid’s show, and I think that’s a factor in why critical reviews tend to match fandom opinion. Namely, kid shows having understandable limitations leads to attempt at darker themes/big stories being praised as standouts as long as the execution is competent enough to not be noticeable. So while some people do acknowledge TOH’s flaws, they point out it’s still admirable the show made the attempts it did, especially with Disney’s public stance on what it pushes for in its cartoons.

So... I want to be kind first before I somewhat lose it because I am so SO TIRED of it being stated that TOH is different from other kid's shows. The Owl House is perfectly competent and entertaining in just its base elements. The animation is good, the voice acting is amazing, the feeling of teenagers is well captured, it's a lot of fun when it's interested in being fun and S1 has a lot of great ideas that earn a lot of good will with an audience and the plot line with Eda in S1 is genuinely amazing. After all, usually you don't have a character who is actively dying.

A theme they never actually address in detail. Eda doesn't feel like she's being held back by the curse very often and there's even one episode where it's used to re-enact a family guy episode of King trying to murder a toddler who won't let him be ruler of the playground. That... Isn't serious. In anyway. It's only serious when it's first revealed and the big sacrifice moment. After S1, it's barely a thing outside of Keeping Affearances.

This is the fundamental problem with The Owl House... And why it's so easy to praise. Yesterday I talked about how it screams its themes at the top of its lungs. How it is very blunt about how it wants to be perceived. Whether this is perception is earned or not is secondary to what it can easily state.

Which makes making an online article about how it's so different from other kid's shows, how it's the kid's show for those who don't like kid's shows, very easy. If you don't actually know much about kid's shows and how shit like Static Shock way back when was already addressing racism, having serialized content, etc. like that.

I mean, if we look at recent kid's cartoons, we have Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future. Gravity Falls. Amphibia does a lot of the same themes as TOH, with honestly about as much meaningful serialization, but also while being good, consistent and enjoyable. It earns its themes... But you have to dig for them.

So why have to scrape the barrel when the soapbox preacher is right there? This is part of the character arc problem too. Do you know how EXHAUSTING posts about "Look where they were and are now" by the end of S2? Where Amity would be a distinct, interesting, unique character in S1 but all they care about is that now she SMILES!

If you don't actually have to talk about the substance of her arc, if the show actually tackled any of its potential, complications, etc like that, it looks impressive. Then you talk to them about Winging it Like Witches or Understanding Willow, both frankly very much so kid's show episodes that something like Danny Phantom, My Little Pony, or Kim Possible would have and could have done, and suddenly it sounds less impressive, doesn't it? Not when you're describing episodes where Amity's past doesn't match her introduction at all and are obviously wiping away what makes a character arc interesting for "SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD! It's not her fault."

Sure. That's why she was willing to kill someone who didn't even lower her grade but instead just got someone else to be praised. And that's still S1.

Luz's depression is similar. You can have her make big statements that sound like they may imply she wants to die but they're still not willing to use the actual terms. Have Luz only suffer the absolutely loudest but worst stereotypes of depressed people like being constantly suicidal, pushing others away and not caring about them. 'But it's depressi-" No. As someone literally crippled by it, I don't want it being used as the excuse for literally the worst thing Luz does in the whole series, which is to just abandon an entire world to whatever fate she claims to believe she inflicted on it. I myself and a lot of other depressed people will tell you that it is FAR easier to help others, especially if you've hurt them, than any sort for yourself. But Luz's depression is used as an excuse for her to claim to keep caring about others when she is actually only serving herself and lying constantly to everyone around her while doing it. If that's great, depression representation, something most kids are still going to miss what it is, then fuck that noise.

But depression is a big topic right now so going "DISNEY'S FIRST MAIN CHARACTER WITH DEPRESSION!" sure is a headline, isn't it?

And let's quickly talk about the fact that TOH is very morally weird. It's not willing to do many big lesson episodes, hence why Episode 2 stands out so much to me, and a lot of its main cast has dubious morality. And... Then it doesn't really touch on morality either. It has no interest in it, even to the point of bad actions maybe getting a line or two said about them but then moving on.

As an example: Amity just wants to invade Luz's privacy. Period. She has Luz's phone and wants to be given an excuse to look into it. Talking to Willow, they could have a very real, very human conversation about how Amity's parents have taught her that such measures are okay because trust doesn't matter as much as control and how that's not okay. It could be a genuinely very adult moment for the series and maybe even have Willow talk about how Luz finding out so much about her past during Understanding Willow makes her uncomfortable sometimes because even if nothing bad surfaces, that was information given. By making all that a real conversation, which yes would have taken more time but let's face it, TOH honestly doesn't spend enough time setting its characters morals and letting them have conversations where there's real conflict between the two. And none of this is explicit or so dark or so boring that there's no reason a kid's show couldn't have it.

And do you want to know what you gain by making it a conversation like that? A real lesson to kids. A lesson that will prepare them for not only their own loves but for just how to handle others in general. TOH is still a kid's show after all. It should in theory be considering its audience and while not talking down to them, remembering they do need to still bring them into the conversation.

OR, YOU KNOW, HAVE WILLOW SHRUG AT THE QUESTION! And I could do a full breakdown as to why that's a real, human reaction to that question, even for someone like Willow. But I have to bring the real world, my life experiences, my sister's life experiences (and she's 30 while I'm almost 27) in order to explain why Willow is not blatantly being a TERRIBLE person by not calling Amity out.

And yes, that's when TOH is at its worst. It commonly just brushes off immoral behavior that isn't the end point of the plot as just a thing happening, like how Edric and Emira don't actually suffer consequences for their plan against their sister or how Luz is made to feel bad for stealing Amity's wand but then isn't attacked by Amity but put into a protective circle by her. A time out, sure, but one that leads to the ice glyph and her getting to save everyone.

A kid can learn the wrong lessons by the lack of consequences in the show and they're not going to learn a lot of good lessons from what is there. There's a reason why kid's shows are blunter than other media and they have morals. They're remembering that, especially in our modern age where one income households just DON'T EXIST that they have to pick up the slack and modern cartoons are doing that better than old 90s cartoons.

But do you know how much TOH reminds me of older cartoons like the 80s or 90s? With their villains who are evil for the sake of evil? With characters that can change on a dime, or the blatantly comic relief ones who don't have much character outside of that? The plotlines that are more about spectacle or statement which led to all those terrible PSA cartoon moments? Or hell, with how Amity ended up: The character who is blatantly only there to be the pretty girl that gets with the main character?

That's the thing: You want to say TOH is better than Teen Titans Go? Fine. That is obviously true. Who actually cares about and is praising Teen Titans Go though? When you compare it to the shows that people do praise, like Amphibia, Gravity Falls, etc., shows that not only teach and make kids better but also tell an engaging, full story with real themes, characters, developments, etc... What does TOH actually have? How much more serialized is TOH than say, the first season of My Little Pony? There were two episodes of build up for the Grand Galloping Gala before the finale and in TOH S1, you technically only need to see The Intruder and Covention, besides the pilot obviously, before you will understand almost everything going on in Young Blood, Old Souls and Agony of a Witch. There's more in S2 but most people agree that it's done competently at best, which is why people keep screaming about the shortening and I made an entire blog pointing out that S2 is bad because... The show is bad about serialization effectively.

And as a final note: I lived with a Star Wars and Star Trek fan for two years at the peak of Discovery being out and as wind up for Rise of Skywalker was going on. I lived on their couch and when they put on an almost 24/7 reel of 'reviewers' for these franchises, I heard a LOT of shit takes. A lot of the same shit being repeated with no real thought behind it, it being what was popular said (which goes into what makes people popular online versus being a mouthpiece for the popular opinion) and showing no thought or care about the actual system of production for things or the people behind it. A lot of people just blaming issues on one creator, or praising a single creator for all the good in something without talking about why they were attributing the problem to them. And yes, I know how hypocritical all of this is coming from some white dude on the internet no degrees, experience, etc like that. I just hope that my blogs show a little bit more real thought to storytelling to make it not as bad.

So a show where the popular, fandom consensus is that it's amazing, it states its themes making 'deeper' analysis easier and is very loud about its statements like they're original is going to be very popular to this type of review. Does this mean it's all disingenuous? Of course not. I started this blog by saying a lot of the reasons why the show is easy to like. Does it mean it has none of the depth people give it? No because a show trying this hard is going to manage successes sometimes though a lot of the times it then shoots those successes because it doesn't realize it's doing them.

But this statement that it is somehow better than things that have come before, is somehow truly groundbreaking while shows clearly paved the way for it so that it's just at the front of a wave it didn't have to make, and ignoring its flaws for all of these reasons, especially with "It's special because it's on Disney" or "It's only bad because of the shortening" is... REALLY tiring. To put it mildly.

A thing should be good because it's good. Not because it says it is or because you have to put modifiers on it to make it special. Shrek was groundbreaking not because it was made by someone other than Disney. It was groundbreaking because it genuinely looked at how it could parody the landscape around itself while making a genuinely good adventure and love story. Did it help that the creators wanted to give a middle finger to Disney? Maybe but I don't have to bring that up with what makes Shrek amazing. I can just say it's very good. In or out of its time.

The Owl House will only become increasingly less special and interesting as time moves forward and its big statements have to be yelled louder and louder to be properly heard. =======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[existsdeath]

Things nobody will tell you about ocd + a mini guide for those who recently got a diagnosis

-𝓢incerly , someone who is disabled due to it .

1. It's gonna be really fucking hard,and that's okay. it's okay to cry after your diagnosis. I'd be more worried if you didn't cry than if you did. Unfortunately for me,I didn't get the opportunity to fully process the depth of my diagnosis at 12,and I personally believe I deserved significantly more than what I got.

2. ocd has NOTHING to do with being clean,organized,or hygienic. ocd is based off of an obsession and then a compulsion,hense the name obsessive compulsive disorder. The reason this stereotype is so often enforced is because contamination ocd is one of the most common forms of ocd,which can come across as just "being clean" rather than a symptom of a deeply complex disorder

3. What are obsessions and compulsions? what's the difference between a neurotypical obsession and a disordered one?

obsessions in ocd are a type of intrusive thought that makes you feel the need to engage in a compulsion in order to relieve this feeling. Neurotypical peoples obsessions do not require compulsions to be done,and are usually not intrusive.

4. ocd is not just obsessions and compulsions, here are some symptoms directly linked to ocd that I personally struggle with :

intrusive thoughts unrelated to compulsions

delusions

panic attacks

paranoia

fatigue

hyperfixations

emotional contamination

hoarding

5. if you're not ready to take medication,DO NOT. My doctor didn't explain the side effects of the meds I would be taking, so I took them without even thinking. This ended in severe fatigue,depression,and an entire year of school missed, which I'm still trying to catch up with. If your psychiatrist encourages you to take medication,ask about the side effects,and make sure they know what they're doing.

6. Adding on to the last point, please get a psychiatrist if you can,and only accept medication from your doctor if it's your only choice. Don't go based off what people say about medication online too much,since it's vastly different for everyone. For me,sertraline was horrible,and for others,it saved their life.

7. ocd is a neurodivergence. it will deeply affect your life in the beginning,and that's okay,you'll get through it. I know it's hard,but I promise it'll get better.

8. ocd does NOT go away. ocd changes the way your brain thinks,you physically cannot recover from it in the same way you can't "recover" from things like autism or adhd. This doesn't mean you'll suffer forever,it just means you'll always have symptoms. Some of these symptoms aren't bad either,maybe by the time your 30 the only evidence of your ocd is mild hoarding & hyperfixations.

9. people without ocd do not understand ocd,especially if they're neurotypical.this goes for most people, excluding psychiatrists & and doctors, to some extent. Yes they will understand it,but they won't ever feel the pain you feel. I guess this goes with most disorders,but I always expected someone to understand my disorder,and they never did,so I think it's good you get that warning.

10. There is so much stigma,stereotypes,and lack of research on ocd. This adds to the last part about how people without ocd truly will not feel the pain you feel, and some will not even understand it.

coping !

so,you just heard all this yapping about ocd,you're probably wondering how to cope,other than getting professional help,these are some things that really helped me.

1. Getting the right therapist , doctor & psychiatrist. Pretty self-explanatory,get someone who truly takes you seriously;someone you have faith in.

2. Medication. Medication is such a huge part of coping,at least for me. I know I'd be dead without it,it truly is an amazing thing.

3. Find support groups. Find other people with ocd,usually through support groups! If you're nervous about talking irl there's tons of online ocd communities you can join on Twitter,discord,reddit,and I'm sure more.

4. Go out of your way to find representation of your disorder. This can mean finding artists with the disorder,or really just anyone you look up to. I find it very inspiring to see how much someone with the same disorder as me accomplished,while also being able to relate to their media. Some of my favorite artists who discuss ocd are Alec Benjamin and NF. You can even find certain games that talk about ocd,personally I find milk inside a bag of milk is perfect. it's difficult to explain the plot since it's very much up to interpretation,but it's the only thing that's made me feel so represented.

there's also a sequel , milk outside a bag of milk which is really beautiful , although deals with some pretty heavy topics. ( can you tell I'm hyperfixated on this game ? / s )

5. Deal with your compulsions constantly. I know it's hard,I know you're tired,but something my therapist told me that always stuck with me is that "whether or not you do your compulsions,you're going to be stressed ,so why not fight back against them so in the future you'll be at peace?"

6. do NOT give into your compulsions. ( easier said than done, I know ) you'll feel relief temporarily,and then you'll need to do it again,again,and again,and again...again...again...again... and again.

7. lean on people ( family & friends ),and take time for your mental health. Your mental health is so important,especially with disorders like these. If you think you need a break to focus on recovery,do that. Don't keep pushing yourself until you break,give yourself support first. For me,I haven't been in school since the beginning of the year ( not by choice ) and I actually don't know what I'd do if I had to go to school,I really don't know.

8. get accommodations when possible. This is a disorder,so as long as you have proof of your diagnosis you should be able to get accommodations. I know for me,I'm allowed to do school completely online,but obviously it'll depend on the severity of your ocd aswell as what your psychiatrist & therapist think.

9. I highly recommend involving your therapist & psychiatrist in school,it has helped me so much. Give them your principles contact info if possible,and let them discuss how they can help you together.

And as always,if you're feeling suicidal please call 988. It gets better and you're stronger than you think. I'm proud of you for going this long.

feel free to ask questions if you're curious!

[eclipsecrowned]

🔥🔥🔥 for whatever u want!!! if u dont have any more off the top of ur head + want a topic then do berserk. also why is this text so big why am i yelling. kadi help // @likemosaic

i am printing and framing this ask jsyk.

I don't know if the community at large understands what an OC is anymore. Like. There's fandom OCs, where you create a new dude to live in an extant setting. There's fandomless OCs, where you create a new dude in either a new world or applicable to all worlds. There's OCs who were formerly canon related, such as when you were really into a franchise but ended up developing your original dude so contrary to later established lore that you just pull them entirely, or you so fell out of love with the source material you pack up a decade plus canon dude and start sanding them down away from the shit views of the creator. There's player character OCs, where you get to write your dude you played in an rpg. Many roads, same result.

Then there's some stuff I've seen recently that is baffling to me.

People filing serial numbers off of a popular FC's role and claiming that Blarbo, the 6'3" chainsaw wielding vampire clown whose FC is internationally recognized white man du jour Large McHugebig written for the Murderous Mimes of the Multiverse fandom, is totally different to Blorbo, the 6'3" chainsaw wielding vampire clown whose FC is internationally recognized white man du jour Large McHugebig, from the Murderous Mimes of the Multiverse film series. People can't actually think that's original content, surely. That's very clearly the same character with token adjustments. Why would you not just play Blorbo with some divergences or personal lore?

Or people who have purported to write OC concepts off of barely fleshed out canon elements, which is usually one of my fav OC bases... Except wait, that's literally a canon take on that concept from an extant adaption. Yes, Count Blorbinski's wife is an unnamed figure in the original novel, but the 1999 anime 'Blorbinski's Bouncy House of Doom' said her name was Blorbentina. How... Coincidental that your OC for Countess Blorbinski is also named Blorbentina. And has the exact same backstory and dynamic with the Count as from the anime. And you use the 1999 design for the Countess as her FC -- This isn't an OC, as much as you keep saying it. Bouncy House of Doom is one of the most popular anime out there too so how did you think this was going to work? Again, why would you not just play the 1999 version of this character instead of presenting her as your own creation?

More and more often I see 'ten years ago this would have been an AU/fandomless blog for a canon but today we pretend this is original content' blogs pop up. I feel like if I rolled up with a Calishite Warlock named Cal'aydin who was bonded to a wind spirit and was fighting depression after his brother's death as well as the forces of the BBEG, you guys would righteously call me on 'this is K*ladin St0rmblessed reskinned for D&D. You didn't come up with any of this.' But more and more I see 'original content do not steal' except? It's already extant IP with one or two concepts changed to suit the mun's tastes. Everything else remains very clearly the work of [insert household name creative of the 20th-21st centuries here.]

It amazes me how often I see these blogs pop up, and just how popular some of them are. I cannot wrap my head around it. Like, it's their blog, they can do whatever, as long as they're not profiting off someone else's creative labor it's not a big deal. But it is one of those 'has become more common in the community lately' things that makes me want to stand up and ask 'is anyone else seeing this or am I just going crazy?' I feel like I'm in the minority by not caring for this trend/new definition of 'original character' just based on how often these blogs cross my dash.

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

hiii i hope you're well, for the anime asks: 2, 6, 8, 11, 22, 23, 24, 29!

Oooooooo I am READY to answer all of these questions omg thank you for picking so many!!!!

2. first anime crush 

Kyo Sohma from Fruits Basket. I watched the 2001 anime back when I was in middle school and I remember convincing myself I was genuinely in love with him, it was so bad. I wrote self-insert fanfiction about him falling in love with me on Wattpad. I no longer have those feelings for him lol but I do love him as a character, he's one of my all time favorites.

6. popular anime you didn’t like

I wouldn't say that I didn't like Kuroko no Basket, but it just didn't interest me. I watched about ten episodes before dropping it, I just didn't care for any of the characters and there wasn't anything that made me want to see them succeed.

8. anime character you are most like

I heavily identify with both Yuki Sohma from Fruits Basket and Deku from mha. There are certain people pleasing aspects and a desperation to be liked and accepted from both of them that I really identify with. I also identify a lot with Megumi from jjk and Oikawa from hq, but that's in more of a resigned depression/fear of failure sort of way.

11. anime you didn’t expect to like but did

I don't typically start shows I think I'll dislike, but I was surprised by how much I loved Mob Psycho 100 and Seraph of the End. Both of those became instant favorites when I got into them when I was only expecting to have a standard enjoyment of them.

22. age you started watching anime/person who introduced you to it. 

I was in fifth or sixth grade I believe? I had a friend that was a few years older than me that was really into anime and she got me to start watching InuYasha with her and that's basically how it started.

23. unpopular character you love

Gabi from AOT. I LOVE how complex and nuanced her character is. The hate this brainwashed child soldier gets is insane to me. I grieved when Sasha died, but I also understand how Gabi is specifically written to be a foil to Eren—she's has the same rage and hatred and drive that Eren does, but she's able to understand that the world isn't black and white much faster than Eren did. Seeing her slowly grasp that what she's been taught is skewed and twisted by ignorance and fear was amazing, one of my favorite parts of AOT.

24. popular character you hate 

Hisoka. I have no clue how he's so popular, I barely gave af about him when I watched the show and he's such a creep, I was always glad when he wasn't around. His ability is cool I guess, but he's just so.... icky. The most interesting about him is his connection to the Phantom Troupe and honestly I can't remember much about their interactions after season 2.

29. anime that deserves another season

Seraph of the End, easily. The show became SUCH a hyperfixation for me when I watched it that I binge read the manga because I needed more. Honestly, I just want to see Mika again and I think the story really picks up from where the anime ends (it does sort of get jumbled and messy further down the line, but I can ignore that).

[lil-melody-moon]

Okay so I got this ask right here yesterday and as I promised, I gave Lana's song a try, but since I had to listen to the lyrics I read them first and damn you Anon you were right. Specifically those lyrics stand out:

He lives for love, he loves his drugs, he loves his baby, too

But I can't fix him, can't make him better And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

But you are unfixable I can't break through your world

He lives for love, for women, too I'm one of many, Bonnie's blue

So now I'm gonna listen to it, see how it's delivered

*fives minutes later* Oh God, this is heavy, let me listen one more time - I always get something better after second or third listen

*another five minutes later* Oh my fucking God, how do I find words for this...

Maybe I'll start from this. I probably didn't have luck for Lana's songs before, but like I can see by this song that understanding her lyrics is important so what I suck at the most, so I would literally had to read every lyrics before listening to her songs, like I did with this and God did this song hit.

The delivery of those lyrics are filled with so much sadness, the whole melody is melancholic with a LOT of regret, the soft drumming which gets louder later and that guitar instrumental break, the chaotic part, you can get a lot from the music only let alone knowing the lyrics.

I got the vibe of being a witness to all of this, not being able to do anything and like it's very accurate to how I felt about Keith at the beginning of October, end of September last year when I learned a lot about him - not everything, but got the hang of how it was with him (hence why my depressive fic called "Rain Over The Unwritten Words" came to be).

It's magical how a song can actually describe your feelings better than words, don't you think? Didn't think I will come back to feeling so miserable about him again, but you were totally right Anon, this song is about him, not a single shadow of a doubt about it.

Yet again I got a similar image to what I saw at September/October while listening to "Now And Then" by The Beatles. Totally different vibe, but the same image: A glass wall between the two people, the woman and the man separated, but with Lana's song, instead of knowing about the other and being able to meet for a short while (after the death of them both), this is more of a scene where the woman can only watch through the glass wall how the man is destroying himself, screaming her lungs out, knowing how it'll end and the fact that she can't do anything about it is destroying her tiny heart.

Very depressive, but this is what I saw, so I'm sharing it, also one other thing:

But I can't fix him, can't make him better And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

But you are unfixable I can't break through your world

Those lyrics hit me the most - good work Lana, amazing song

[doublegrinch]

The Alleged Con Log

(This isn't gonna be a full recap in chronological order, like my first one, and like many of the wonderful and amazing logs I've read thus far. Part of that is because I didn't end up "doing" all that much. But the larger part is that what I want to do here is talk about what it meant to me, more than what happened.)

(I'm also going to omit any names out of precaution, because I don't want to publicize anything without consent.)

(But, if you recognize yourself, hi! I enjoyed our interactions at the con and I am okay with you interacting with this post!)

So. I went to Charmed.

Now, I'm fairly new to this community; or I should say, to being active in this community. I fully delurked somewhere around summer or autumn 2020 (I wonder how many of us took the panini as incentive to chase after a dream?) but I've been around some of the spaces for a much longer time. Like, an "I remember when the MCForum started requiring logins" time. And from the first time I heard about the con scene, I knew I wanted to get there someday.

I say get there, because it felt so far out of reach for me, back in the day. I was rocking a fun mix of social anxiety, common-or-garden anxiety and imposter syndrome that led to me convincing myself that 1) I would never tell anyone about this interest of mine, and 2) even if I did, I would never be brave enough to actually join the community "for real".

(Goes to show that your brain lies to you, huh? Something something "you are braver than you think" etcetera.)

Given all that, I knew this con was going to be a Moment for me, like a huge one. I had gone online the past two years, but it didn't feel like enough. I knew that I wanted to be there. I had almost ended up going in-person in 2022, but pulled out at the last second in the face of COVID numbers and general travel uneasiness.

I promised myself it wasn't going to happen this time. Even while going through a bout of depression over the holidays, I focused on the idea that I wasn't going to miss out this time. To paraphrase the Mountain Goats song, I was gonna make to this con if it killed me.

I did make it, and I am so, so glad that I did.

I would spend the next few days doing my best to balance between gently pushing myself and respecting my energy. I didn't end up hiding in my room too much of the weekend, a fact I'm honestly pretty proud of. And I talked to people! Actual, live people that exist in real life!

(Sidebar: that part was a trip for me, initially, as someone so used to online. On the day I arrived at the hotel, within ten seconds of getting in I spotted a Famous Community Person and audibly went "oh shit". Fortunately, I met them briefly later on and was able to apologize. They told me they hadn't noticed. Phew! 😅)

The classes I went to were uniformly great; I came away with a whole bunch of notes containing actual, applicable advice. But for me the difference in being there were the people. All those I met were friendly and very welcoming to little old newcomer me. I pushed myself to engage in conversation in the hallways when I had the energy for it, and was rewarded every time. I even managed to link up with a few people from back home (there are ones of us! literally ones of us!), and talk about the possibility of local events happening in the near future.

Other highlights, in no particular order (linear time is boring anyway!):

Going to an induction class and realizing "Hey, I understand this. I could do this. I can do this."

One particular class resonating with me on a personal level (kinda took me by surprise actually) and leaving me with a very interesting reading list

Being dropped in front of a class – for the first time in-person, actually – and the person who did it reassuring me that everything was Okay™ afterwards and I hadn't imposed on them. Thank you for helping reel in my brain goblins!

Being invited to a lowkey room hangout that was exactly what I needed after a long first day – and meeting lots of positively lovely folk there and also I bought the coolest cat pin

Nerdy conversations about the state of the MCU on the way to the Gallery

Meeting several people in the community who were and are sources of inspiration, and noticing that they're all absolutely lovely humans on top of that

By my standards, I burned brightly all weekend, and by the end I was pretty spent. But I did it.

In closing, here's the part where I reassure my spicy brain that I Did The Thing Correctly. Going into this, I had these goals written down:

Learn Things

Be Social

Say Hi To People I Know From Online (As Much As Possible)

Go To At Least One Evening Event

Participate In One (1) Activity Related To Writing

Write a con log afterwards and post it somewhere (hey that's this one!)

(Bonus) Do Some IRL Trancing

Of those modest goals, I accomplished checks notes all of them. Huh!

(Well, at least one person I know from online I didn't get to say hi to. They looked busy, I didn't want to intrude! Next time, Gadget…)

Of course, there's things I wish I could have done, people I wish I could have connected to. Of course, I feel like my fears got in my way, more than a few times. Of course, I wanna do more next year. Because there will be a next year for me. Many of them, if I have my way. Hell, I'm even thinking about this summer…

But for now, I just want to focus on gratitude. Just existing in this space is life-giving to me, and I hope to be able to do it so much more.

Ice, you are officially broken.

Thank you for reading!

[fiercynn]

heyyy! i was wondering if you liked the os2 episodes of bbts!!! i noticed you shared some stuff regarding the first two episodes. did you enjoy eps 3 and 4 as well?

i never get asks, this is so exciting??? (probably because i don't actually spend enough time on tumblr...i was kind of starting to be on here a bit and then got depressed by a lot of the negative reactions to @end-otw-racism during their first action. but tbh getting an ask actually makes me want to engage more so THANK YOU ANON)

okay, my os2 feelings! i talked about this a bit on my twitter so i'm going to recreate some of that here, haha. but the short version is: yes, i enjoyed the whole thing! i think episode one was my favorite because i lovedddd the patpran dynamic we got there - watching pran be confident but also settled in love felt amazing to me, and i loved the little domestic notes. i think my second-favorite episode was actually the last one - not so much because i think it was a well-constructed episode (it was a little all over the place, tbh), but i ADORED the phutian ending after having felt like their relationship was getting kind of shafted for most of the special. also we got to see inkpa again!

it's hard to talk about my own feelings though about it without reflecting on the disappointment a lot of people i know have felt about the special. and i certainly understand and agree with a LOT of the critiques, they are completely valid. but i guess i'll explain a bit more about why i liked the special anyway.

firstly, i think i came into it with the feeling that because bbs is such a perfect narrative, anything we got in os2 would be a bonus, and that i could take or leave the parts i liked and didn't like to apply to my own personal love of bbs - especially since it did take place in the timeskip instead of the ending. and i especially felt this way because of knowing that there was a crossover with atots.

i think that one of the issues with crossovers in general is they force shows to draw kind of contrived parallels between characters and pairings. and similarly i think crossovers require characters to be matched up in scenes together just so you see their contrasts. so that's why we had to have two separate nights of lost in the woods, so that we could get pran & phupha as well as tian & pat. could they have done better with making parallels that made more sense for both couples? sure. but i wasn't totally surprised that the crossover parts felt clunky/over-worked. i also think crossovers prioritize humorous moments over character-building ones. they're just really not a good vehicle for storytelling imo - they're more just about seeing your faves up on screen together.

as far as patpran's conflict in these episodes - again, totally valid & understandable that people are upset & feel like it was unresolved! for me, though, it felt like a pretty natural part of their progression as a couple. my friend @/siri_dechawat on twitter has a great thread about it that i totally agree with. and also i think it's worth thinking about how long patpran's history is, how many old hurts they still have that probably aren't fully resolved. i was once in a relationship that reminds me of that, a relationship that had six years of fraught history before it got happy, and my recollection is that by the time you get to the place where you're secure in that kind of relationship, you don't always revisit those old hurts because you have the feeling that now you're happy, so why look back so much? but they can still flare up and it can be hard to talk about them, so you try to work through them yourself and that isn't always easy.

to me, the fact that patpran kept up a lot of their usual dynamic - teasing, competing, cuddling, even while they're in the middle of a fight - felt very organic. they can't always say exactly what they're feeling, but they still express affection. and for me, the fact that they were having this fight at all about pran's independence & pat's self-sacrifice wasn't at all going backwards from the original show. the second half of bbs doesn't actually have them resolving a lot of those things out loud.

at the end of the day, while this is the last time we'll see patpran onscreen (sob), it's not their ending. it's not even the ending that we see of them. we know where they end up by ep 12 and it's pretty perfect imo. and the fact that they are not always perfect at communicating along the way is okay with me. we know they end up on the same page (ha) even if these episodes had some conflict around that. we know where their love is.

okay i said all this and i stand by it, but also if you have read any of my fic you know that i LOVE writing canon-divergence AUs, so i did a series of them for os2 as well based on prompts i got on twitter! i ended up with twelve separate "what if" scenarios for how various scenes in the special could have gone differently - just episodes one through three, because i wasn't as much in a writing mood after the last one - and i collected them together in an ao3 post called in another lifetime. i think my favorite ones within there are mountain, a h/c ficlet patpran do actually make it up pha pun dao, and secrets, an extension of the last patpran scene in episode three. so if you were unsatisfied by various scenes in the special, maybe you will like these as fix-its? :D? anyway thank you again anon for the ask!!!! maybe i will try to be on tumblr more again...

[shxtodxroki]

hiiiii!! I saw your request is open so here I am shooting my shot hehe. I'd love to get a matchup with any male characters, so feel free to go wild with the result ♡

I go by "Angel", she/her, omnisexual, 5'2. I'm not really good at describing how I look, so here 2 pics of me (I don't have any picrew of me, so I hope you are fine with me sending you my real pics 😔👉🏻👈🏻) also, a tmi for today : I'm basically blind on my right eye but I refused to wear glasses on daily basis bcs I think I look better without it 😅

moving on to my personality, I'm an ENFP and a proud gryffindor! 🦁❤ I LOVE to talk, I can't handle silence really well bcs it makes me feel awkward. people's first impression of me are usually "she's a b" or "she is annoying" but most of em ended up loving me after they got to know me personally (RUDEEE 😭) ; anyway I actually have a lot of insecurity about myself and easily got depressed over em, but I love to act all confident in front of my friendsㅡ gotta fake it until you make it I guess 😩

for interests, I love doing tarots, playing text-based games, and listening to disney / musical songs. I also enjoy watching thriller/horror movies, sometimes I got scared to the bones tho 💀

another thing about me is I have a chronic insomnia, my earliest bedtime is 8 am (I know its very unhealthy 😭😭😭) sometimes I can go a day or two without sleep, it's crazy how I'm still alive tbh 🥲

OMG I OVERSHARED DIDN'T I? I'm really sorryyyy, this also one of my bad traits. I tend to overshare my life with anyone and anytime. I hope you don't mind :(

well I guess this is it??? thank you for opening up your matchup request. can't wait to read the result aaaa. have a good daaay 🌸

First of all I want to say don’t worry about oversharing at all, the more you tell me about yourself the better I can make your match-up so all the information you included was super helpful for me actually! Thank you for sending in a match-up request, and I hope you enjoy your match-up below :>

I’d Match You With: 

Denki Kaminari!

Reasoning:

I did a lot of thinking with this one, there were a couple of characters I was considering but in the end I felt like Denki fit the best with you. He loves your bold personality and you share a lot of interests, and overall he’s just really infatuated with you and would be the perfect boyfriend to go alongside you :D

Headcanons About Your Relationship:

- Denki is not a big fan of silence either, it makes him feel awkward so between the two of you you’re pretty much always talking about something, there’s never a moment of silence in your relationship :) He even has a list of dumb quotes you’ve both said to each other in his phone because of how much you both talk whenever you're together lol

- If anyone’s ever rude to you or accuses you of being “annoying” or “bitchy” without getting to know, you Denki will 100% stand up for you! He isn’t letting anybody treat you that way and he will immediately get on them about how you’re an amazing, lovely person, and they’re the ones being rude by judging you without even knowing you personally :)

- Denki knows how it feels to put on a confident face and try to “fake it ‘till you make it”, he has a pretty similar mindset himself actually. So he understands how you feel, and he makes sure you know that when you do need to let down those confident walls and show/talk about your insecurities, he’s more than happy to talk with you, to comfort and reassure you (And he hopes you’d do the same for him in return) <3

- Denki is, like, the #1 fan of Disney songs lol, he loves them just as much as you do and the other students around your dorms kinda hate it lol because they always hear you two blasting Disney music and singing along at like 3am

- Denki’s pretty scared of horror movies honestly, but he can have fun watching them if they’re not too scary, so he’ll watch them with you sometimes because he wants to make you happy :) Plus, even though he's pretty scared, he likes being your big strong boyfriend that can protect you if you do end up getting scared, it helps him ignore his own fears lol

- Denki definitely doesn’t stay up as late as you, but he’s no stranger to pulling all-nighters so usually when the two of you have sleepovers together he doesn’t end up falling asleep until at least 5am because he wants to spend as much time with you as he can :)

- Whenever you two pull all-nighters, though, you always follow it up with lots of naps the next day. Even if you have class, Denki can see you starting to get tired and he wants to make sure that you get some sleep now that you’re actually feeling tired, so the second class ends Denki’s dragging you with him to his dorms and piling blankets on top of the two of you as you cuddle and nap together ^^

- Also, you never have to worry about oversharing when it comes to Denki, nothing is oversharing to him when it comes to you. Like I mentioned earlier, he’s happy to listen to you talk about absolutely anything at any time, so never worry about talking too much or telling him too much about something because he wants to know everything he can about you and your life, he just loves you so much <3

Song For Your Relationship:

Shivers by Ed Sheeran :)

[alexandraisyes]

God, the "What if Eclipse had ASPD" post is still one of my most famous ones that everyone in this fandom seems to fucking know one way or another. I still get people going "WAIT YOU WROTE THAT?" When I join servers, and then they yap about how much they misunderstood ASPD and Eclipse and I sit there in my lil teehee pose like "yes I wrote that I know I'm amazing you can sing my praises more if you would like" (because I have no shame).

(In reality I go "yes I wrote that haha" and never remark on it again because I don't know how to accept a compliment)

I know I'm doing good and doing a good thing but it's such a cruel and lonely disorder, and sometimes I hate myself for having it even if I know, logically, there is nothing I could have to prevent it. A two-year-old doesn't have the kind of control they need to stop bad things from happening to them. And that's horrible. And I hate that the people I know in my outside life immediately turn against me when they find out I have it.

It doesn't feel like it's something I should be proud of.

It feels like something that makes me a monster.

And that's just the way it is, I suppose. I'm going to lose people over things I can't control and I need to fucking suck it up and get over it even though every time someone leaves me for it it's a stake in the heart because I put my trust in them to understand. To stay. To listen.

To know me and not the stereotypes of my disorder.

But I shouldn't care, right? Because that's all I do anyway, not care. Because that's all that is to the disorder, and none of the paranoia and depression and mania and obsession and boredom and self-loathing and isolation and numbness exist, stop trying to play the victim.

I'm not trying to play the victim.

I am the victim.

Are people allowed to be proud that they survived a car crash? Are they allowed to be proud of themselves for surviving? Does any rational person look at something horrible that happened to themself and think "I'm so proud I survived something I had no control over"? Or do we look at them funny because why would you say that, why would you say you're proud of yourself, it all happened so fast and you didn't even do anything but keep breathing and not die how can you be proud of that you're not saving other people from car crashes your not giving people lessons on how to avoid getting rear-ended you're just living your life what do you have to be proud of?

Do I have anything to be proud of?

I feel like I've caused just as much harm that has been caused to me, and now I'm pathetically trying to compensate for that so when I tell people about my past they look at me now and tell me "it's okay you're doing better now I'm proud of you".

Is it pathetic that's all I've ever wanted to hear?

Is it bad to want to be loved when you can't even properly love people in return? Is it bad that I can love anyone because the word has no meaning to me other than respecting someone else as a person? When did I stop being human, when did I forget emotion and connection and sanity, when did I become a machine who's only purpose is to be a sad display of the human condition? Diseased, imperfect, parasitic, incurable.

And why would anyone ever even want to treat someone who is so much less than a person when they clearly deserve it because look at the way they fail to be genuine and sincere and empathetic. Because look at their past where they didn't understand social conventions and broke the rules and hurt people trying to connect with them.

Clearly I should be put out of my misery.

And yet I refuse to do so myself and continue to make my continued existence a source of anxiety and suffering for those around me simply because I have so much hatred for living that to submit to death would be letting it win.

And wow this is getting really long and rambly so I'm going to put a readmore but also guys gonna be so real I'm on my period rn according to my emotions (they are existing currently and it is not happy fun times) and I had an energy drink so this was kinda fucking panicky and insane and you are allowed to judge me for going actually insane on main, and making a pathetic little display of myself. I'll just sit here going teefuckinghee and eating my 85% dark chocolate that my friend mailed me because I am loved by at least one person on this fucking hellscape of a planet, and that's enough for me.

It's so weird trying to be proud? Accepting? Of my own disorder that's literally formed from the worst kinda of trauma you can put a child through

Like whooo ASPD and because I'm a good(not really but we can pretend)person who wants to educate people I can make it useful by talking about what it's like

But also . . . it's ASPD.

I don't know if I'm allowed to be proud of it, even during disability pride month.

[thelonelyme]

♤𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡♤

.

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞: ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド[Twisted Wonderland]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐨/𝐢: Malleus Draconia, mc, Sebek Zigvolt, Lilia Vanrouge.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: Malleus reacts to the reader that they curse themselves to go back to sleep. [mc x Yandere Malleus Draconia]

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: Hello!! I just read your Spoiled and Just a kiss and it was super good!!! But there is something I wanna ask if you don't mind. I saw that Malleus didn't really regret after cursing reader with Sleeping beauty spell even though they did not wake up for many years. And even when they finally woke up, he went and killed the man who saved them. I would like to know how he would respond if the reader became mentally broken or returned to eternal sleep (not death) like before due to all the shock they faced as soon as they woke up. I am sorry if I somehow inconvenienced you. Thank you for all your amazing fics. Love you 😘

𝐀𝐕𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄: FEM READER, This is the third part of “Spoiled[1]” and "Just a kiss[2]", so if you haven’t already read that, make sure you do. Yandere content, threats, physical and psychological violence, misogyny, depression, mental illness, torture, gore, mention of non-con, allusions to suicide.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: @tragedyofdevotion I hope you'll like it and thank you so much, you can't even imagine my happiness when I received your request! I swear, I'm so happy, and thank you for asking me &lt;3 <3 Btw, sorry if this doesn't show Malleus' point of view much, I hope I haven't screwed it up. Love you too 😚.

"..." You said absolutely nothing, not a gasp, not a small cry, nor a breath stronger than the others, as elder fae sighed.

Again, no reaction.

For days you refused to eat and sleep, you did not want to leave your room, as if you were scared by the corridors of the gothic castle. He could not understand your fear, in his very long life he had to see and hear the people most dear to him die right in his arms.

As much as he loved his son, he could only blame his reckless youth and willful ignorance. After all, he knew you were from Malleus, and now there wasn't much he could do for him other than visit his body trapped in a glass coffin.

If he managed to go further and forget his fall, why couldn't you? If he, his father, had managed to go on living, why couldn't you? Then, Malleus was right to have killed him, no queen with a loyal husband at her side would ever think about shedding tears and even refusing to satisfy her primary instincts for the one who should have been a simple personal guard. Furthermore, trustworthy.

If he, Silver's father, managed to go further and forget his fall, why couldn't you? He was his son, but he couldn't feel any remorse; after all, Malleus had warned every single living and wandering soul since he still lived in his dorm not to even dare to look at you for more than a second. His obsession had grown out of all proportion: the young fae had always been raised alone, no one had ever dared to approach him for fear of being potentially burned alive or otherwise.

He was just a harmless child, but those comments, all those insults only served to increase a feeling of infinite emptiness in his soul. And when you, a defenseless and innocent little thing, presented yourself to him, you automatically signed a contract even stronger than Azul's by doing a simple and apparent thing:

You naively gave him your name.

Really, how ignorant could you be? Haven't you ever heard that you absolutely mustn't give your name to a fairy? Expecially a powerful one? Then you should have expected your impending kidnapping.

Life doesn't go our way, and being a docile and innocent little lamb in a herd of beasts ready to slaughter anything, being a ceramic pot in a sea of ​​iron pots is nothing less than begging for a bad ending.

He has always been a respectable fae with great intelligence and many tricks up his sleeve, but he had a small problem; he always tended to underestimate what he didn't think was noteworthy enough.

He had always ignored your every desperate screams for help, even when Malleus punished you even more fervently for yelling a name other than his own, or when he forced you to eat even when you could no longer swallow anything, or when he forced you to take care of your child by silently threatening you.

And after all, any part of him couldn't feel any kind of pity towards you: he thought that what you were complaining about, all those screams and your tears were just a whim, and that it would have been better if you had submitted to Malleus ever since from the first moment to welcoming the dense seed of your loving dragon into your womb with a smile on your face.

You would have saved yourself a lot of trouble.

But now, even that calm didn't suit him. And maybe it was his fault that young fae was so.. spoiled.

He had always achieved everything that any human being and could never have desired: wealth, excellent social status, beauty, a great deal of power in his hands, but he could not be envied for his loneliness.

Lilia, tired by the smell of your blood and bored to inflict other wounds on you, got up from your bed soaked in the liquid and headed for the exit, noticing that Sebek was closely observing every move he had made.

The half-fae observed apathetically how, although Lilia was literally tearing your arm apart, you did nothing.

It was as if you were a simple rag doll, with glassy, ​​lifeless eyes and a limp body that would move at the first touch. Maybe your stubbornness was something he could have envied.

But instead of watching his superior inflict wounds that likely would leave marks despite instant healing, you just kept staring at him relentlessly. He would have wanted to take those eyes off you just to make you stop. Lilia was torturing you and you had the damn courage to look at him?

With a wave of his gloved hand, he signaled to the mint-haired fae that it was his turn.

Sebek, on the other hand, was deeply irritated by your behavior.

Not only were you missing the essential points in being a good wife, but you were also affecting her master's emotions, which then spilled over into her entire kingdom.

Sebek hated you.

He hated your being a mere human unworthy of being alongside a powerful and majestic wizard like Malleus was, he hated all your pathetic attempts to escape from his master, blaming them at your stupid stunts and making him lose faith in them.

He hated how you were given everything from the most expensive clothes to the finest jewelry to the most opulent foods, and how you completely despised all these gifts from your husband.

He hated how much concern Malleus put into your health, he hated the fact that even though you were still a stupid human, you still managed to seduce him in unknown ways. And thanks to that Silver, now Malleus probably would have thought he had to throw them out, if not take them out.

In fact, he was still grateful and surprised that he had not yet been killed by Malleus's jealousy, which he constantly praised and thanked him for, as a good servant should do.

He especially loved the moment of your punishment.

Master Malleus had specifically told them to get a reaction in every way, and obviously he had chosen one of the more classic ways of getting someone to talk.

He loved how he could take out all his frustration and tension on your helpless body, he loved having control over your miserable human life, temporarily forgetting about his dirty human father who had dirtied him with a human side. But even though he was half like you, he had no remorse in his actions.

He saw all of this as a pass that would raise him from the mass of ungrateful people in Malleus' eyes, he wanted to be his favorite, he wanted to be the one he would care for with so much concern, he wanted to be the one to be drowned in the great amount of compliments that he gave you and that you despised hatefully, he would liked to kill you.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

"So, let's summarize the situation. I charge you to get my beloved wife out of her particular moment, and she still refuses to come and talk to me?!" The monarch told them menacingly, approaching step by step their figures kneeling in front of him. He couldn't believe they couldn't use any method he advised them to use to stop her from continuing with this nonsense she was doing.

He was honestly disappointed with their results.

If the two of them couldn't convince his wife to go out and finally abandon her stupid childish behavior, they wouldn't have been of any use to him.

And he had had enough.

Years and years of pampering you were probably never deserved. With a sudden movement he rose from his throne, meanwhile frightening even the two children who were blissfully ignoring the conversation until then.

He cast a cold glance at the two knights.

"Take the kids and take them to the woods, I need to have a chat with my wife. Now." Without even waiting for an answer, he quickly walked away, purposely avoiding teleportation.

He had to think about what to do.

The weather outside had changed drastically: cloudy at first, now the sky was completely black, big clouds charged with electricity and rain ready to burst at the slightest change in Malleus's magic.

Slight rumors could be heard from your room.

But it didn't matter anymore. You understood. You finally figured out the only way you were going to hurt Malleus once and for all.

You.

You were his only weakness.

Paradoxically, at that time you had much more power than the most powerful wizard in Twisted Wonderland. You had the power to destroy him in a way that no one ever did, and you didn't care in the slightest about the consequences your actions would bring. For you everyone could all have died in atrocious ways, you don't care about the aftermaths. The world had completely forgotten you, and this time it was your turn to do so.

Slowly craning your head towards the bedside table, you watched apathetically at the dagger that Sebek had put down some time before. You were happy to be hated by Sebek, you would have felt like shit otherwise.

With the last strength left in your body, you reached out to grab the blade.

Then you bent down to take the vial you had jealously guarded between the mattress and the headboard.

You crushed the object in your hands and immediately one after the other, many pieces of splintered glass pierced your hand from side to side, but in the end the liquid had managed to slip on the blade.

You took a sigh.

"THREE."

"TWO."

"ONE!"

"NO!"-

Total darkness.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

You finally managed to escape from him. You loved no one, and no one could ever wake you up.

There was no other Silver, there was no one.

Nobody could break through that barrier in your head.

You were free. Eye for an eye, tooth or tooth.

You had chosen freedom and had to sacrifice your body, but now you were finally free to dream.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four