#i think people are severely underestimating him
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Hi I was originally gonna make a post analyzing all the blackmail available in PJED but I got sidetracked and just analyzed Desmond's
Theories below the readmore! Warning for spoilers
Desmond: with weapons at his disposal, he guards the only person he trusts
So Eva told Damon that it meant he had weapons at his disposal, which he does, but I find it interesting that we never see the picture that goes along with it. We see Cassidy’s image (despite her secret being an undertale reference) so this feels intentional
Which leads me to believe that the photo attached to that secret will be revealed eventually (if it wasn’t burnt to ash when Eva died), and that it might reveal who exactly the person he trusts is. Which leaves one question: who is it?
Before I get into theorizing I'd like to preface this saying that it's very possible that the blackmail is just trying to say that Desmond only trusts himself and is able and willing to defend himself, which is how Damon and Eva interpreted the secret.
However, they're interpretation may not be the correct interpretation. He’s notorious so far for assuming the worst of and underestimating people in this game, and Eva could've been hiding information, so it's not a stretch to say that this is another instance of that.
But anyway, I think the person Desmond trusts is Eloise, and here’s my evidence for that, loosely ordered from least to most convincing.
They’re often seen together in promotional art
At the beginning of the game they’re both in the courtyard, and they continuing to hang out throughout the game (granted this could be interpreted as Desmond trying to get closer with her, since in the FTE'S he expressed a desire to get close with everyone and Eloise expressed the exact opposite)
When Desmond is trying to explain his roommates idea Eloise helps him out, she’s also the first person to question separating the roommates by gender
When Grace is giving Eloise shit about the blackmail Desmond comes to her defense, and it's only after this that Eloise hands the blackmail over
He's also seen comforting her after Grace tackles her during the investigation, and is the first to insist challenging Grace to get into Wolfgang's room.
During the class trial Desmond backs up Eloise’s criticism of Grace, and when people start suspecting Desmond, Eloise is quick to come to his defense
And by quick I mean she reacts to it before Desmond does, and you have to agree with Eloise to progress the game
Judging by how the group tends to read people AND what's revealed about the both of them in their freetime events, I could see a situation form where people are more scared of Desmond (with the marksmen talent, involvement in case 1 via the taser, and the blackmail) even though Eloise is a much bigger threat (with her threatening Damon in her first FTE and being very wary of the cast in general)
Which could be an interesting parallel with their respective animals with sharks being over hated while swans are way more violent than people give them credit for
Speaking of animal symbolism, it's also worth noting how several species of sharks have been seen forming friend groups, and how swans most often display violent behavior when their chicks or mates are threatened.
Now why he trusts her is still up for debate, but judging by the evidence my best bet would be that they were friends outside of the deathgame. Ingrid did mention being named an Ultimate a year before attending the academy, so it's possible they met through that.
I saw some people theorizing that he may be a bodyguard and this might be like a Peko situation, but I personally doubt that in connection with this theory. Mostly because in Eloise's freetime events it seems like she isn't in the best financial situation, meanwhile in Desmond's its confirmed his family is rather well off.
How likely do I think that this is actually the case? Idk like… 60%. I could’ve completely misread things, this was mostly just me rambling lol
#project edens garden#project eden’s garden#p:eg spoilers#p:eg#Desmond Hall#Eloise Taulner#Damon Maitsu#Eva Tsunaka
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Mightiest Elf Fight Club - ROUND 3
Originally, 4 elves were going to be eliminated, but Maglor and Galadriel tied, so we're eliminating 5 elves, which means we can consolidate everything in to one poll.
Maglor, Rog, Galadriel, Finarfin, and Finwe are all out!
Two more elves are being eliminated! This poll will run for one day because three days is just too long. Select the elf in this group that you think would come in LAST, I repeat, vote for the elf in LAST PLACE. The elf you vote for will be ELIMINATED from fight club.
Magic is 100% allowed in these fights. Taking magic away from an elf seems a bit like removing a person's liver and kidneys; magic and Songs of Power cannot be untangled from the Eldar, especially those born in Aman who have it oozing out of their pores. Steel and arrow and magic and song are all allowed in fight club. If someone wants to dance their opponent to sleep or rapbattle them into submission, more power to them
Propaganda and mighty deeds are below the cut
Glorfindel: One of the few beings to successfully slay a Balrog, Glorfindel died and came back to life (he did it before Gandalf made it cool). He spent his time in The Fellowship of the Ring gleefully chasing down the ringwraiths, who were so scared of him that between the choice of Glorfindel and a magically-pissed off river, they chose the river. Weaknesses: needs a haircut
Gil-Galad: The elf so cool no one knows who his parents are. The Last High King of the Ñoldor, Gil-Galad held the ring Vilya. He fought against Sauron's armies in the second age, and then again during the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, where he engaged Sauron in single combat and won, driving him back. Weakness: fiery hands
Maedhros: Maedhros has fought in countless battles against Morgoth, including orchestrating the Union of Maedhros. He's known for his ferocity with the sword. He held the fort of Himring against the tides of Morgoth's forces for nearly all of the First Age. Everyone wants him carnally. Weaknesses: Silmarils, oaths.
Finrod: Finrod has fought in the Dagor Bragollach, and later joined Beren in his quest against Morgoth and Sauron. Finrod got into an epic rap battle with Sauron, and then, completely naked, Finrod killed a werewolf with his bare hands and his teeth. Weaknesses: Beren
Fingolfin: A High King of the Ñoldor, Fingolfin braved the Helcaraxë, fought in the Battle of Sudden Flame, and then rode out alone to Actually-demigod-Satan's house, knocked on his door, and told him to come out and fight him one on one. And then he almost killed Actually-demigod-Satan, dealing seven devastating blows that would never heal. DILF. Weaknesses: Hammers
Feanor: You love him! You hate him! It's Feanor, one of the biggest driving forces behind the entire Silmarillion! Feanor invented weapons before anyone else in Aman had done it. He called Actually-demigod-Satan a bitch to his face, and then slammed a door in it. Feanor left Elf-Heaven, took the ships of the Teleri by force, and fought against the armies of Morgoth before the sun and moon even existed, falling only to a large group of Balrogs! Weaknesses: Silmarils, oaths
Luthien: Luthien, fairest to have ever lived, used her powers to free herself from her father and gain the help of Huan the Hound. She passed through the gates of Angband, avoided the great wolf Carcharoth, and then used magic in a dance to put Morgoth himself, and his court, into a deep, enchanted sleep. She then rescued her boyfriend, stole Morgoth's crown, and fled Angband with her love. Weaknesses: Beren
Mablung: One of the greatest captains of the Sindar, Mablung helped hunt down the wolf Carcharoth to retrieve the Silmaril the wolf had swallowed; Mablung was the one who cut the jewel - and Beren's hand - from the werewolf's stomach. Weaknesses: Heavy hands
Ecthelion: Ecthelion fought in, and survived, the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. Not only was he one of the few named characters to slay a Balrog, he was the one who slayed Gothmog, the Lord of the Balrogs. Weaknesses: Being too sexy to live, wearing armor in water
Fingon: He walked into Morgoth's domain, rescued Maedhros, and then flew right back out with an injured Maedhros, leaving Morgoth wondering what the hell happened to the elf had chained to a rock for thirty years. Fingon fought in many battles against the forces of Morgoth. When Morgoth sent Orcs to attack Hithlum, Fingon beat the tar out of them so thoroughly that Morgoth invented dragons. Weaknesses: Gothmog
#poll#elffightclubpoll#silmarillion#maedhros#fingon#mablung#finrod#ecthelion#luthien#feanor#gil-galad#fingolfin#i HATE that maglor is going home so early#i think people are severely underestimating him#but the people have spoken
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Taranza being taranza and Sanna being Sanna 👍
#kirbyliker12png#taranza#parallel susie#susie haltmann#susanna patrya haltmann#Susie Kirby#Suzy having 3 whole tags is so amusing to me esp because she’s not That popular#she bought three whole tag domains and nobody uses them#‘buying tag domains isn’t a thing what are you even talking about’ ermm SHUDDUP !!!!#nyway did u know taranza accidentally summoned para Suzy in the clashverse#yeah he can summon stuff across dimensions. Okay#the taranza here isn’t the clashverse taranza it’s just normal(?) taranza and this annoying lady seems to know too much about him#Sanna and marx are the only people who have an idea on what taranzas capable of😲magolor thinks he has an idea but he severely underestimates#it’s not in a ‘I don’t respect taranza’ way it’s in a ‘taranzas attempts quickly got snuffed out by Kirby so I don’t have an idea’#u could argue that DDD has an idea on what taranza can do but I don’t think he knows sectonia and taranza are the same species#(DDD voice) wow…I still have nightmares abt that night…at least it couldn’t ever happen again ! 😂😂😂
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Listening to a former co-host of a podcast i loved which publicly imploded a few years back trying to explain the difficulties of his split with his co-host and the expectations of a trying to start solo careers with a Beatles breakup analogy but he’s assigning them incorrectly based on the wrong stereotypes !
#had to pause because i wanted to interject like ‘no YOURE John Lennon he’s Paul!’#like he’s saying the other guy (PJ) is john because he’s a ‘true artist’ who just HAS to create and it just naturally comes out of him#and that he himself (Alex) is like Paul because it’s more of a 9-5 job to him like the juices aren’t always flowing but he puts in the work#but Paul i think really just cannot stop banging out little tunes and thinking of silly little projects and having to do them#paul is a talented energizer bunny who writes songs in his sleep#PJ got soft-canceled and left the show and then less then a year later had started a new hit show because he can’t not#Alex like John is hampered by severe self esteem issues and hopelessness and fear#he’s got an artistic spark and he wants things to Matter and be Good but it’s Hard#and like John many listeners thought of Alex as the heart of the show when it was at its peak because he put so much of himself into it#people were surprised that PJ’s new show was/is so good because they’d underestimated how much of a creative force he was in Reply All#so there’s my analysis on these two situations which probably no one else has an overlapping interest in to this degree lol#many people THOUGHT that john was the ‘true artist’ to paul’s workhorse. but JOHN knew that was inaccurate
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that time of year again (obsessed w cl.ay jen.sen)
#every now and then something pops up that reminds me of him and i have 2 suppress the urges#he is ultimate comfort character when i came out i almost named myself after him#but i couldn't really bc i had already named a cat in the past a clay related name kinda and it felt weird akhsld#but every few weeks i still think ab being named clay. i think I'd like it#anyway battling my demons (wanting to make him a solo blog again)#i think u all severely underestimate my love for that guy#but i am not gonna do it idk if hes even on my muse list here#i kinda stopped writing him after the absolutely fucking horrendous anons i got when i had a blog for him#people strongly believe that show is awful and like. you do you i get that but i wasnt even writing him in his canon at that point#bc i thought maybe if i avoided his canon people would be open to his blog#but uh. no people were very mean to me ab writing clay so he is locked away in my little mind palace#but i am thinking of him dearly. missing him very much
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Guy is making things SO HARD why does he gotta keep being in different places I want to talk to you
#I think i severely underestimated how much of an introvert he is#I think he assumes that people aren’t actually interested in talking to him#which man same I completely get it but PLEASE stay STILL talk to me I wanna talk to you where are you going#he cycled home today after ice hockey so I couldn’t even ambush him on the walk back#but he keeps doing this thing when we’re walking in a group where he kinda goes off to the side while people are talking on his own#like walks ahead a little or off to the side#and I KNOW it’s not bc he doesn’t like anyone i don’t think i fully get what his deal is#man I’m not used to taking an active social role and I’m still very mirrory so I am STRUGGLING#I still don’t know if he’s queer I’m just trying to actually have a full conversation with the guy at this point#maybe texting would be easier to initiate stuff I’ll figure smth out#maybe I’m also just being insane and have decided I like a guy who shows no interest in me#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we will see#luke.txt#it is so frustrating bc he is cool as FUCK and I know I COULD talk to him and we would both probably (probably) have a good time but goddamn#i will have an actual conversation with him if it kills me#texting is probably the best option here my friend has suggested Instagram as a leading thing which would work if I actually used Instagram#I will figure SOMETHING out.#I’m too fucking gay for this
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See one of my favorite Rivendell headcanons is that even though it's a wonderful, peaceful sanctuary, pretty much everyone there could be incredibly dangerous if they wanted to be. Like, let's think about who lives in that valley.
Elrond Peredhel, resident healer and eldritch crime against nature, self-explanatory
Glorfindel, slayer of balrogs, self-explanatory
Erestor, probably Feanorian, definitely dangerous
Old Feanorian diehards, all of whom are probably looking for an excuse to commit morally justified violence
Old Gondolindrim/Iathrim, who, despite what they might tell you, are exactly as dangerous as the Feanorians
Garthaglir the Library Orc, who absolutely remembers how to use the giant battleaxe he keeps behind his desk
A strange, shadowy figure roaming the valley who I'm *sure* isn't Maglor Feanorian, but who is nonetheless a terrifying singer
Elladan and Elrohir, who have spent the last several centuries becoming nightmare fuel for Sauron's forces
Arwen, eldritch, bites
Bilbo Baggins, not to be underestimated, can defeat a grown man with nothing more than his scathingly polite commentary
Dunedain visitors, vaguely feral, highly trained
Aragorn, very feral, highly trained
Lindir, not actually dangerous, but if you upset him you are going to have problems with everyone else on this list
I actually really like the idea that a lot of the people who live in Rivendell are inherently kind of dangerous, because it means that they're actively choosing peace and kindness for themselves and I love that.
#silmarillion#silm headcanons#rivendell#elrond#elrond peredhel#glorfindel#erestor#maglor#elladan#elrohir#arwen undomiel#bilbo baggins#aragorn#lindir#garthaglir#eldritch peredhel#rivendell headcanons my beloved#happy peaceful place full of incredibly scary people
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Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.
I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.
Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?
Jeeves
Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.
On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.
Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.
There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.
He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?
He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.
Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.
He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.
There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.
Bertie
Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.
In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.
He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.
I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).
I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.
When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.
#do YOU think jeeves and wooster would survive castle dracula? let me know in the comments!#they're in the castle separately instead of together because those are the rules ok#the isolation is key#though if anyone wants to speculate about what would happen if they went together i will NOT complain#i don't even know what's going on with the tenses in this post i'm sorry#//#jeeves and wooster#reginald jeeves#bertie wooster#dracula#do i need to tag dracula spoilers?#sure there are some people new to receiving letters from our good friend jonathan harker#here it is just in case:#dracula spoilers#i have done my due diligence
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tw. mention of creampie, size kink, wholesome(?), reader is unable to speak human language + limited vocabulary, mention of abuse, abandonment issues
Imagine being a puppy!hybrid who's been saved by your current owner months ago. He found you wandering the streets alone, cold and starving.
It was pouring hard and the wind was extra harsh that day. Oh, how pitiful it is to see a hungry little pup girl rummage through the dirty trash bins, hoping to see scraps and edible food. That sight of you tugged on his tender heart, unable to walk away from such scene, he approached with quiet footsteps, not wanting to scare your cautious figure.
Your sharp senses have been dulled by fatigue and hunger as you didn't even notice his presence behind. Normally, you would've bolted away, afraid of how humans have treated you, but the way his voice sounded to your alert furry ears made your guard down. It was different from the people who abused and abandoned you. So gentle, the way his voice sounded like a lullaby.
That was the last thing you remembered after your first meeting.
***
You really are the best pet or companion he could ever ask for. Such a baby to take care of truly. He found out how you were unable to speak human language, often babbling and butchering words if you do try to talk. You do understand simple phrases and tones, which made it easier to communicate with you. He's not that knowledgeable about hybrids but he do know how to take care of a regular dog. It's hard to compare you to a dog or a human, you're neither closer to the other.
He severely underestimate how much of an attachment you formed with him.
It's not a bad thing.
But it certainly becomes harder for him to leave you for work.
"Come on... Don't look at me like that."
He really didn't want to leave you alone. Truly, he wants to be with you 24/7 but he needs to work, or else he won't be able to spoil you.
Your small pout and cute begging eyes, along with your droopy ears nearly made him stay. Nearly.
"Baby... I need to go. Don’t make that face," he murmurs, his voice soft as he takes in your pouted lips and droopy ears, tugging at his heartstrings. He gently pulls you up, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing to your lips, and peppering your face with soft kisses.
Don’t worry, he always thinks of you while he’s typing away at his lonely desk, his mind wandering to what you’re doing without him by your side. Were you playing just fine? Eating the meals he prepped for you? Being a good girl for him? His heart aches at the thought of you waiting by the door, staring at it just as he left it.
He never anticipated how slow time would crawl as he counted the minutes to the end of his shift, refusing to let a single minute become overtime. The moment he could, he raced through the garage and drove home.
"I’m back!" he calls, dropping his case of files and loosening his tie.
Thump, thump, thump.
Oh, how he loved the sound of your footsteps racing across the floor to reach him. It was the kind of sound that melted away the stress of the day, the kind of sound that reminded him why he hurried home in the first place. But this time, he wasn’t prepared for the way you threw yourself at him, arms flung wide as you collided with his chest.
He stumbled slightly, caught off guard, but quickly steadied himself, wrapping his arms around you instinctively. Your warmth, the way you buried your face in his suit—it all made his heart swell.
"Whoa there!" he said, chuckling softly as he ruffled your hair. "I missed you too, baby."
You looked up at him, your eyes bright with joy, and his exhaustion melted away completely. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, holding you close as if he’d never let go. Moments like this made everything worth it, every long hour and every sleepless night. You were his home, his safe haven, and the best part of his day.
"W-Wel... um," you stammer, your cheeks flushing slightly as your little fangs peek out with each syllable. "Wellum... b-back!"
He freezes for a moment, blinking as he stares at you, his head tilting slightly in confusion. Then, it hits him like a soft breeze, the realization dawning across his face.
Were you trying to say welcome back?
His heart squeezes as the thought sinks in, and a wide grin tugs at his lips. Aren’t you just the cutest? He crouches down to your level, his hands gently resting on your shoulders.
"Wellum back, huh?" he teases softly, his voice warm and playful. "Thank you, sweetheart. I feel very welcome now."
You shift nervously, glancing away with a little huff, but your lips twitch as if you’re trying not to smile. He chuckles and taps the tip of your nose affectionately, unable to resist how endearing you look.
"Do you know how much I missed you?" he says, his tone dropping into something softer, almost a whisper, as he pulls you into a hug. "Hearing that from you just made my day, you know that?"
Coming home was the best part of his day, he might quit his work and become a full-time freelancer if it meant spending more time with you.
Then one day came something with you. Your behavior became odd, strange even...
It didn't take too long for him to realize that you were approaching your heat. He read about it while researching about hybrids, the heat suppressants pills already stock in his drawers. The only problem was how uncooperative you were, spitting out the pills, running away when it was time for bathing, and being skittish whenever he was out. You were still his sweet girl, but you'd get moody and have an outburst.
"Come on, it's not that bad... Come here, baby." His voice is soft, coaxing.
Bath time was his least favorite thing to do. Not because he didn’t enjoy the idea of it—cleanliness was important—but because it always turned into a battle of wills. He never liked having to wrestle with you, and yet here you were, backed into the corner of the room like a wary kitten—wait, like a dog your arms wrapped protectively around yourself.
His gaze softens as he takes in your cowering, guarded figure. The way you look at him, a mix of defiance and uncertainty, makes his resolve waver. But the small trail of dirt smeared across your cheek and the strands of hair sticking to your face remind him there's no way around this.
"Baby, you can't stay like that forever," he says, tilting his head with an amused grin. He takes a cautious step forward, his movements slow, deliberate. "I'll make it quick, I promise. No bubbles this time, okay?"
You narrow your eyes suspiciously, not buying into his negotiations just yet. Inching further into the corner.
He sighs dramatically, running a hand through his hair. "This time, no tricks, just a nice, warm soak. You'll feel so much better."
When you don't budge, his grin turns sly. "But if you're going to make me chase you…" He starts rolling up his sleeves, his voice dropping to a mock-serious tone. "Then don't blame me if I catch you."
Your eyes widen slightly, and he sees the tiniest twitch of a smile forming on your lips, your tail wagging despite your best efforts to hide it. In that split second, he lunges forward, scooping you up effortlessly despite your squeals of protest. "Gotcha!" he declares triumphantly, carrying you toward the tub, half-heartedly squirming in his arms.
His smile softening as he presses a quick kiss to your forehead. "Now, let's get you cleaned up, stubborn little thing."
It was a nice warm bath, you placed on his lap as his arms wrapped around your waist for preventing your escape.
"See? Not that bad, hm?" He murmurs, almost groaning at how blissful he's feeling. The warm and comfortable water around him plus your nice, soft and plush figure on his lap made it ten times better than usual.
You were oddly quiet, your ears flopping. Your temperature higher than normal, he can see how you were breathing heavily.
Oh.
It's starting again hm?
Well, he's here to help... just not with the pill.
***
The scent of your arousal filled the air, sweet and intoxicating, making his own body react in kind. His cock twitched, already starting to harden.
"Hey, baby, you okay?" He asked softly, his voice rough with concern and desire. He tightened his arms around your waist, holding you close as you shifted restlessly on his lap. "You're burning up. Do you need me to cool you down?"
Your tail thumped against the side of the bathtub, betraying your excitement. His hands slid up your sides, tracing the curves of your body through the water. He leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.
"I can help you feel better. I know just what you need," He murmured, his voice low and seductive. His hands continued their exploration, cupping your breasts through the water. They were swollen and sensitive, the nipples hardening under his touch. His cock was fully hard now. Pressing his hips up against your ass, letting you feel his cock throb with need. He reaches down, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing in tight circles. Your breath hitches, a soft whimper escaping your lips as he works you, bringing you closer to the edge.
"That's it, let me hear you," he rasps.
His tongue laves over your pulse point, teeth grazing the sensitive skin. Marking you, claiming you. His fingers never stop their relentless assault on your clit, pushing you higher and higher until you're trembling on the brink, teetering on the edge of release.
"Come for me," he demands.
And you do, your back arching, a scream tearing from your throat as your orgasm crashes over you. He holds you through it, his fingers still working your clit, drawing out your pleasure until you're boneless and spent in his arms.
But he's not done with you yet. Not by a long shot.
He read that hybrid's heat last long for a few weeks, worst case scenario, for months. It could affect your well-being so he won't take any chances for that to happen.
"Hold on tight, baby," He murmured against your lips, his voice husky with desire. With a smooth motion, he stood up in the bathtub, water sloshing around them as he carried you in his arms. Stepping out of the bathtub, water cascading down his muscular body as he made his way to the bedroom.
He'll do anything for his girl.
Anything.
#gojo satoru x reader#lovesick#dark content#yandere x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin#yandere genshin impact#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr#yandere jjk#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere x darling#yandere x female reader#yandere suguru geto#yandere suguru#yandere megumi#yandere yuji#yandere kaveh#yandere alhaitham#yandere cyno#yandere tighnari#yandere childe#yandere zhongli#yandere gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#hsr smut#jjk smut
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DPXDC prompt: Friendly neighborhood forensic pathologist Danny Fenton is a new master of The Court of Owls? (Dead on main, of course) +Part 2: Talon Dick
Don’t underestimate what a ghost will do for a higher education. You see, it's the custom of the Fenton family not to run away from things they are afraid of but to face their fear. So Danny Fenton, who has learned to fear scalpels, steel clamps and surgical retractors, decides to do something about it and to dedicate his life to giving souls of those who died a violent death the final rest and justice they deserve.
Well, it didn’t really come to him at once. It started out as a simple joke:
Danny didn’t think he could continue his education after school. Frankly, his grades suck. However, Tucker for fun applied for a scholarship for gifted villains from Gotham University on his behalf.
And hell, they are willing to pay money for his education. Pay in full! Living in Park Row is also incredibly cheap. And with his flying ability, he’ll also save on transportation.
Danny is not a villain. And he’s not planning on becoming one. But he couldn’t lose that chance.
Why do you deserve this scholarship? “My parents are renowned ecto scientists, and I’ve seen their dissection work at its best. Medical school is expensive, and this scholarship will help me accomplish my goal of becoming a forensic pathologist and helping maintain the boundary between the world of the living and the world of the dead…or use it for my own ends. Of course.”
Well, Mr Two-Face was fully confident that despite his grades in the subjects, Danny was fully committed to achieving high academic achievement. Finally, work experience of Dan came in handy somewhere.
There were only few things about the death that Danny didn’t find on his own or from his ghost friends, so he managed to graduate in record time. Young Fenton thought he was lucky enough to get a job near Crime Alley. It was odd that the job was available. Even a new specialist like him was allowed to work full-time. And the salary was very decent.
~~~~~~
Danny: Yes, Jazz, everything is just fine. I found a great job and I’m trying to relax and find a hobby, you know. Started feeding the local birds. Apparently they were abused, the poor things are so shy and aggressive.
The local birds:
~~~~~~
Let’s say that a returned Jason as undead cannot be killed for forever. The stab wounds heal quickly, the bullet holes sometimes itch unpleasantly for a few days, but in general his regeneration is at a level with some metahumans. This is convenient. But when Red Hood wakes up in the morgue after a particularly severe injury, he’s not happy. Sometimes even looking in the mirror at his dissection scar is difficult for him. And this situation is a fucking nightmare. Danny: Oh. Are you awake now? I’m sorry I didn’t have time to put you on the couch, I didn’t have clean sheets and my assistant would have killed me because of the new stains. Red Hood: What the hell? I’m sorry?! It’s fucked up! I’d love to see you wake up on the dissection table. Danny: Been there Done that. But hey, I didn’t put you there. You didn’t get here on my shift, give me a break.
Jason: …So, what's now? Danny: Well, I can offer you tea or coffee. Of course, only after I sew up the hole in your stomach and give you a change of clothes. Or I could go after the documents and pretend I didn’t notice one of my bodies got away. But then don’t dream about novocaine blockade. Pretty liver by the way, you don’t see that much in crime lords. Jason: Um, thank you? But you’re weird. Usually people are praised for the beauty of the face or eyes rather than… Danny: Wow, now I feel attacked.You wake up in your helmet. I can’t compliment what I can’t see. Jason: Gee, I’m surprised your colleague hasn’t taken it off yet. Danny: And lose important evidence? It is not customary for us to put curiosity above professionalism.
~~~~~
Jason learns quickly that although Batman is willing to go anywhere to track him, there are always exceptions to the rule. The morgue was one of them. Not surprisingly, the emotional constipation and uncomfortable theme of Jason’s death worked like a perfect bat repeller. Over time, Jason becomes really interested in a guy who genuinely laughs at his death jokes and listens to his problems at work without judgment. Danny is too cute and nice.
Danny*works*: No visitors allowed here.
Jason: Unless you are a zombie, right?
Danny:...Still not one of your hideouts. The book is where you left it, make some tea if you want it.
~~~~~
Jason, once again delivered without a sign of life to Danny after the fight, woke up during pupillary reflex test.
Jason: Oh, beauty, you are just dazzling today.
Danny: As I thought, your regeneration didn’t cure your concussion before your resurrection. I’ll give you referrals for all the tests and examinations. And we really should stop seeing each other like this. Please take care of yourself.
Jason: I don’t think you have the right to prescribe them to me. Danny: Technically I do not. But we live in Gotham. And for some time the hospital where I work at night is very sensitive to my requests.
Red Hood: And why? Danny: It’s hard to explain… Red Hood: Doctor Handsome, I’ve been through some shit, so try to surprise me. Danny: Okay, okay. Look, you are a crime lord for not too long, right? But criminals and cops are afraid of you and kids and your henchmen really likes you. Jason: ..So what? Danny: Can you please recommend how to maintain a reputation but so your people aren’t afraid of you? Jason: Why do you need this information? Your assistant finally realized you’re friends with walking corpses? Danny: It’s not about that! Although, like.. you aren’t wrong? It’s complicated. I may, well, accidentally, honestly, have seized power over a local secret aristocratic criminal society.
Jason: Baby, please tell me everything. I have a restaurant as a front for a business nearby. It’s a date. Let's go. Danny: Let me finish a few stitches first, Jay.
~~~~~
Red Hood and Red Robin fight near Batman: Hood: Replacement was on patrol without permission! Red Robin: And Jason is dating the new owner of Court of Owls! Batman:.. he's doing WHAT? Jason, how could you take such a risk? it is completely unprofessional and Red Hood: At least he loves me for what’s inside me! Red Robin: Yeah, like a beautiful liver. It’s a great relationship base. Red Hood: I’m talking about my feelings and interests. Dumb lil stalker with a big mouth! I’ll teach you not to bother my boyfriend.
~~~~~
Henchman: Boss. We shouldn’t go into that area, the rumors are that there are Talons here. Red Hood: All under control, they won’t touch us. Henchman: How can you be sure? The poem says 'Beware The Court of Owls, that watches all the time, ruling Gotham from a shadow..' Red Hood: Yeah yeah "speak not a whispered word of them or they'll send The Talon for your head". I’m sleeping with their boss, of course I’m sure. Henchman: Boss, don’t kid like that. Red Hood: I don’t pay you for gossip. Let's go.
Dick, to whom the memories began to return, haunts Jason because he did not cut for Lil Wing apple slices like he likes for lunch: Talon came to finish the job. Henchmen: scream
~~~~~
Jason *shows Danny 'Red Flags' on youtube*: Hey, baby, want to be a little shit on our date? I know where Brucie Wayne’s having dinner tonight, so you can meet the family.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dc x dp#dead on main#dead on main ship#dpxdc prompts#dpxdc memes
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Ambassador Danny AU
Just a silly thing knocking around in my brain.
Batman halted in the door of the conference room, taking in the sight of a strange being lounging imperiously in his chair. His white hair seemed to defy gravity ever so gently and his green, glowing eyes—Jason’s eyes—stared back with none of the regard or fear so many people showed towards Batman. His tanned face was speckled with tiny stars that Batman had to actively resist becoming memorized by. The boy’s choice of covering was sheening armour that refracted the light through his chest-plate of black ice. The white sleet that sharpened his knuckles seemed perfectly capable of movement despite it encasing his hands in similar fashion to the chest-plate; glassy in it’s brutal edges and as hard as the sheets that form over the coldest of lakes.
The watchtower had been invaded. Batman had questioned why the place was so cold when he’d arrived. Now he knew.
The only thing that kept Batman from immediately reacting might have—very much—had to do with how young he looked. A boy in the second half of his teens.
And the fact that several other Justice League members were at Batman’s back as he strolled further into the room, watching the boy warily.
The boy’s eyes were unconcerned as he watched the Justice League file in. Worryingly so. Who was he that he would be so unfazed, how powerful? Or was it faith he wouldn’t be harmed, taking advantage of the Justice League’s strong morals?
The teen had commandeered the chair with all the authority of a king and the confidence of one assured of their own position. He sprawled across it. The chairs were all identical of practical, unassuming make, but this boy made it look like his throne as he leaned heavily on one side and stretched one leg way on the other. A hand was extended to dangle off one chair-arm and he had a knee braced up, showing an armoured shin protecting his black, sturdy, cargo-like pants and iced boots that jagged treacherously upwards.
The boy smirked. “Took you long enough. I was getting bored.”
Batman resisted the urge to clamp his hands over his already protected ears from the unearthly static and screeching glaciers that came from the boy’s mouth. He noticed Superman flinch and his face grimace.
“Who are you?” Batman growled. This boy was obviously inhuman. He was also an unknown. Batman would be foolish to underestimate someone who had somehow infiltrated the watchtower without being seen or setting off any alerts. Who exuded too much confidence, as if the entire world was at his fingertips.
Attacking took the back-burner in favour of garnering information in such a concerning situation.
“You may address me as. . .” He contemplated a bit too much for Batman to believe whatever he would give them would be his true name. “Danny.”
“. . .Danny.”
The name was so. . .normal.
“How did you get here?” Wonder Woman asked with hints of warning and aggression.
The boy smiled. He had fangs. Too many sharp teeth. He didn’t answer and was revelling in their ignorance.
“What are you doing here?” Superman asked. It said something about Danny’s energy that even superman was being cautious about approaching.
“Waiting for you.” He smirked.
“Why?” Batman pushed as much threat and intimidation into his stance and words as he could. He usually didn’t have to think about it. “What do you want?”
Danny chuckled and a shiver ran up Batman’s spine. Goosebumps formed even through the protective layers that shielded him from the cold.
“Why don’t you sit?” The words should have been innocent. They felt like a trap. “You’ve gathered for a meeting, haven’t you?”
The league members didn’t move. Danny sighed.
“Fine, fine, fine.” He rolled his eyes and Batman was eerily reminded of how much the adolescent exasperation reminded him of his own children. Danny leaned off the chair arm to lean an elbow on the table instead, propping his chin up. He was all teeth. “The Infinite Realms wishes for peace. I’ve come to investigate the possibility of a treaty on behalf of the High King.”
<><><><>
“THERE’S A DENIZEN OF THE INFINITE REALMS IN THE WATCHTOWER??!!!”
Batman held the phone away from his face at Constantine’s uncharacteristic display of panic. It did not bode well and it settled uncomfortably in his bones.
He grunted in affirmation.
Constantine swore up and down enough to fill Alfred’s swear jar ten times over. “What do they want?! What did you say to them!? Ohhhh, bloody ****! You’ve already antagonized them haven’t you?!”
“No.” Batman ground out.
Constantine was quiet. Several seconds ticked by.
“. . .WELL?!”
“He claims the High King wants to negotiate for peace.”
There was silence on the other end. Batman usually preferred it when Constantine was quiet, but this was thick and seemed to claw out of the phone to infect the watchtower. It muffled the noises and beeps and drowned out the presence of the other league members who had stepped out of the conference room with him.
Then there was a great, controlled release of wavery air. When Constantine spoke, it was more serious than Batman ever remembered hearing him.
“Okay, okay.” Constantine mumbled to himself. “Listen closely, Bats, and repeat everything, and I mean everything, to your circus clowns.”
Superman cleared his throat. “We’re here.”
“YOU LEFT THE AMBASSADOR ALONE?!”
“Of course not! Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter are monitoring him.” Batman said.
Constantine grumble-sighed. “Good.” He mumbled. “Two of the competent ones. I don’t trust Bats not to **** this up and get us all killed.”
“What now?” Flash said.
Batman was a little offended. “Constan—“
“NO!” He yelled vehemently. He sounded a little manic. “Batsy, you have the emotional intelligence of a wet paper bag, a sad, trampled, wet paper bag with so many holes that it can’t even be considered a bag anymore, you have the emotional intelligence of wet, paper scraps and the diplomacy of a feral hyena! Unless he addresses you first, Do. Not. Initiate! Do not open your mouth! I have no faith in you whatsoever!”
“I will n—“ Batman tried to growl again, but Constantine cut him off. Again!
“No!” Constantine reiterated oh, so eloquently. “Look.” He sighed. “Getting news of the newest High King since he defeated the last one has been near impossible. All Deadman will tell me is that he’s better than the last guy and we are incredibly lucky our entire dimension wasn’t wiped out after that stunt the American government pulled with the Anti-ecto Acts.”
Batman saw some of the leaguers pale. He suddenly wasn’t feeling the best either.
“Anti-Ecto Acts?”
“Laws declaring their species non-sentient and illegal, I dealt with it, thing is, this is an extremely delicate situation.” He stressed. “We don’t know what kind of ruler he is, what little thing might set him off, and we cannot afford to set the High King off! Capiche?! It’s a good sign that he’s willing to negotiate peace, but he could change his mind. Some ghosts are very temperamental.”
“Ghosts.” Several of the leaguers repeated. Constantine let out an incredibly exasperated sound.
“Do you idiots know nothing?! Yes, ghosts! The Infinite Realms is the dimension between dimensions, the land of the dead and the never-born! They are incredibly powerful entities and many of them could level our planet easily! Whatever you do, DO NOT ask how they’ve died! It is highly taboo and you’ll get yourselves killed!” Constantine let out a stressed groan.
“I would come back and deal with this myself, but I am. . .occupied at the moment. Don’t try to negotiate without me! You lot will muck everything up! And seriously, DO NOT ASK HOW THEY’VE DIED! Keep the Ambassador happy until I can get there, convince him to stay! We might not have another chance like this, don’t annoy them, do not ignore them, and, just in general, don’t give the ambassador any reason to deliver anything negative to King Phantom and have him erase us all, got it?”
The Justice League exchanged several, stunned looks.
“Got it?”
Batman grunted.
“Good. And Bats.” Constantine added lowly. “If this fails, I am blaming you for the end of the world.”
Constantine ended the call and the phone beeped before drowning everyone in silence. The leaguers shared more looks.
“Now what?” Hal said.
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Happy pride!!!! Dealers choice, but something gender?
a continuation of 1
Steve meets Iron Man and immediately wants to punch him in the face. It probably wouldn’t do much, considering he’s made out of solid metal. But it might make him feel better. And hey, he’s punched though solid metal before.
He’s sarcastic and rude and makes derisive, pithy comments and doesn’t take anything seriously. Plus he immediately starts hitting on Natasha, who’s obviously more than capable of taking care of herself, but it makes him think of all the people who used to underestimate and denigrate Peggy and he has to grit his teeth.
The worst part is it’s clear no one else feels the same way.
Everyone greets him cheerfully, rolling their eyes and laughing at his jokes. Even Natasha likes him, not flirting back but also not shutting it down, easy around him in a way that so far she’s only been around Coulson. Fury and Hill seem to be the only people that share his irritation.
Tony Stark walks onto the hellicarrier, hair short and jeans tight with an MIT sweatshirt several sizes too big, and the first thing she says to Steve is, “Heard you met my better half.”
“What,” he says.
But she’s already moved on, talking excitedly to Bruce Banner who for the first time doesn’t look like he’s contemplating throwing himself off the edge. Everyone else is ignoring her, but Steve can’t look away. She sits at the table and taps her fingers against it, finally getting fed up and interrupting Fury to call him an idiot, arguing about the cube and scepter, and for someone who hadn’t been on the ground she seems to know an awful lot. But Howard had been like that too, never involved with the actual fighting.
Then there’s a couple comments about the armor and repairs and what reinforcements she’ll have to add before Iron Man is sent out again. Her earlier comment clicks into place and he blurts, “You’re married to Iron Man?”
How could an ass like that get a girl like this?
That causes the entire table to go silent.
“Wow,” Natasha says. “Does Rhodes know you’re cheating on him? That would explain why you look like you just rolled off the couch.”
“Shut up, fuck you’re annoying,” Tony says. “No, Rogers, that was a joke. He’s my highly compensated employee and bodyguard who I have strictly professional relations with otherwise Pepper will scratch my eyes out. She’s one more PR disaster away from taking an extended vacation in Bora Bora.”
“And she occasionally releases him from his services to help us fight crime,” Coulson says with a straight face.
She points a finger at him. “I’m going to start billing you for that.”
“You already bill us for texts you send comprising entirely of emojis,” Fury says, deadpan. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Those emojis were instructions on how to diffuse a bomb, and also the tech team understood it, so,” she shrugs. “Perfectly logical. If you have an issue with my billing, take it up with Pepper.”
Steve doesn’t know who Pepper is, but Fury frowns and changes the subject, so she must be pretty intimidating.
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GHOST OR BAT?
pairing. batfam + ghostmaker x ghostbat!reader
summary. reader is a dna mix of ghostmaker and batman.
warnings. ghostbat drama, Minhkhoa Khan, I’m confused, cursing, canon typical violence.
a/n. I am bored out of my mind, might become a mini series. That I just randomly add stuff to. The mask referred to is kinda like Jason’s from red hood and the outlaw just minus the eye cover.
wc. 0.8k (not proofread)
You kept to your spot beside Talia, staying alert to the people in front of you. Batman and his children, plus Ghostmaker. You remembered reading up on each of them, studying all of them.
You eyes were focused on the oldest of the Batkids, Dick Grayson. He’d be your biggest problem, the man was severely underestimated but in Talia’s eyes he’d be the most capable assassin if he wanted to.
Cassandra Cain, you knew her. You fought her, you looked different then though, and by her stance you assumed she hadn’t connected the dots but she remained watching you.
Jason Todd, you helped train him. Never with your mask off, and you never spoke. Only ever instructed to fight him till he learnt.
Tim Drake. Held in high regard among the league, with smarts to match that of Batman’s. But not much of a problem, you’d have no problem with him.
Your eyes glided over to the youngest of the bunch, Damian. You’d die before letting your blade touch him, and he’d hesitate before raising his against you. He didn’t know you truely, you didn’t even know yourself truely. But he knew you’ve protected him.
Behind your mask you glared at the tallest two in the room. But your hands kept the same elegant hold on your swords, like Talia taught you.
Batman, Bruce Wayne. The world’s greatest detective. Truthfully you’ve always wanted to fight him, see how long you’d last, see if you could take him down. But that wasn’t going to happen unless he attacked, and he wouldn’t. He was smarter than that.
You glanced at the man in white, face masked so his expression remained covered. Minhkhoa Khan, the Ghostmaker. Not much was known about him, but the League of Assassins or anyone for that matter. He’d be the most unpredictable, you think.
“Mother,” Damian addressed the woman beside you. You remained stationary as she walked towards her son, brow raised in slight alarm as you stepped closer hesitantly, watching the others.
Damian moved through the crowd of his siblings to step before his mother, they greeted before he nodded to you, acknowledging your presence.
“Dear,” Talia called to you, she’d never used your name, saying that it was your secret to reveal so she only ever called you ‘dear’.
“You may speak,” she sighed softly, a strange softness in her voice. But you ignored it and nodded in response, she turned to the crowd of vigilantes.
“I suggest your other children leave,” Talia says. “The matter I’ve come to discuss is… personal. In a sense.”
Bruce narrowed his eyes at the assassin woman before nodding, earning a groan from each of his children, who begrudgingly walked away towards the stairs that lead back to the manor.
“Damian stay,” Talia ordered, the boy halted his movements and stepped to his father’s side.
Now the room remained with five people in it. Ghostmaker, Batman, Damian, Talia and you.
“I have some rather—“
“Disturbing,” you offered, voice distorted due to your mask. Khoa raised a brow at the robotic voice, good way to keep yourself hidden.
“Yes,” she nodded. “This child,” she motioned to you. “Happens to be a mix of the two of you.” She then motioned to Bruce and Khoa. Both of whom stared at you in response.
“Disturbing, all right.” Khoa murmured to himself, watching you, analysing you. Though he couldn’t be too surprised, considering Damian Wayne.
Bruce glared at you, “you’re lying.”
“I wish,” you scoffed, glaring back at him. Your eyes shadowed by your hood, and voice distorted by the mask that only covered the lower half of your face.
—
The three of you stood in silence after Damian and Talia left the room, neither of you looking at each other.
“You’re sick,” Bruce mutters, glaring at Talia before pointing at you.
“The child is a wonder of science, if anything i did you both a favour.” Talia shrugs, Bruce raising a brow in response.
“Enlighten me.”
“Think, a child with both your skills. The perfect weapon,” Talia replies. Khoa nods slightly, thinking it through, the perfect weapon.
“So, how many kills, kid?” Khoa speaks up, causing you to shift your gaze to Talia who nods.
“I don’t count them, they’re insignificant to me.” You mutter, detached, Bruce thinks, just like Khoa.
The Ghostmaker nods in understanding, as if he were impressed with the answer. “Smart girl.”
“Why did you come here? I doubt you were doing anyone a favour by exposing your secret.” Bruce asks Talia.
“I need you to look after her, i will be gone for a while. And i don’t trust my father with her, and i don’t trust her not to try and kill him again. She’ll be here also to watch over Damian.”
“Why?” Bruce presses, and Talia doesn’t bother answering as she’s already gone
All eyes turn to you, watching you as intently as you watched each of them. Now what?
© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off
#batsis#bruce wayne x daughter!reader#enzo writes [📝]#ghostbat#minhkhoa khan#minhkhoa khan x daughter!reader#ghostbat!reader#ghostmaker x reader
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The Wild Life finale is making me so insane I can't NOT talk about it
(My AU of the Eyes and Ears AU)
I kept thinking about how an ending like Joel's could be tied to the whole Watcher Lore cause of how happy he was at the end and how that's exactly the opposite of what the Watchers would want, since they feed off of the emotions of the players, especially negative ones. But like. That's EXACTLY IT
Wild Life is, well, WILD. It's almost like the Watchers made this game SPECIFICALLY for Joel, someone who thrives in the chaos and is as unpredictable, as WILD as him.
And unsurprisingly, this works very well. Despite the previous games having their own twists and turns, Wild Life turned that up to a hundred. The Watchers wanted to see the chaos, with Joel in the middle of it. They wanted him to once again reach the level of insanity he displayed in several of the previous games, to spread the panic across the server which would generate all the emotions they could feed on.
But it didn't quite work as they intended. And that's because they underestimated him.
At this point to me it's undeniable that Joel had one of the most prominent arcs throughout the series.
It started in Third Life, where he was quite literally a lone wolf, only having a loose alliance with Scar and Grian at the end which was more for convenience rather than his own will. Then in Last Life, he was once again alone most of the time other than some quick team ups with other red names. Later on in Double Life, he had to team up with Etho because he was soulbound to him. Despite being somewhat reluctant at first, they managed to make it work. Then in Limited Life, he had his first taste of a genuine alliance with the Bad Boys, going as far as to want to sacrifice himself just so Jimmy wouldn't go out first. Then in Secret Life he had the Mounders, so far his biggest team in the games. Throughout the entire series he found more and more people he could rely on, an arc which finally had its climax in Wild Life with his (extended) family. He had their backs and they had his.
It was this support that not only protected him from other teams, but helped him outplay the Wildcards thrown at them. In the middle of all the chaos and death, Joel, the one who was known for being reckless, dying to his own mistakes and just being generally chaotic, was the one who remained rational and not only managed to COMPLETELY avoid dying to these lethal Wildcards, he used them to his advantage.
His finale was no tragedy like all the others were. It was a genuine victory, one he savored until his final moments. The Watchers didn't get the insane Joel from the previous games. Instead they got an ecstatic champion who wasn't going to give them any negative emotions to feed on. This victory was HIS and he's proud of it. In this world of chaos, it wasn't the unpredictable Wildcards that defeated him. HE was the Wildcard that the Watchers could never expect. HE was the one who defied all expectations and won the game with his family cheering him on. HE was the one who wasn't going to give in to what the Watchers wanted.
And it was HIM who managed to win with a big smile on his face at the end of it all.
#smallishbeans#trafficblr#joel smallishbeans#life series#life smp#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#wild life series#wild life#mcyt#watcher#the watchers#watchers#traffic smp#traffic series#im so normal about this#personally im a comet joel enthusiast#but how funny would it be to have him drive his car through space and just see the watchers seething in the background
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hi, I hope you don't mind me coming to kind of vent in your inbox (please toss this out if you do) but I was reading your post on the contrasting way Viktor and Jayce view their first meeting and it got me thinking about how some people just sorta brush aside Jayce's suicide attempt here as being somehow pathetic or an overreaction to what they consider a slap on the wrist and I kinda get really mad about that perspective because I don't think people really follow through on what the trial actually meant for Jayce and what the consequences reasonably could have been. people seem to think he was just embarrassed by the trial without understanding that that kind of reputational hit can be, and clearly was, ruinous.
setting aside entirely the emotional/psychological repercussions of having the thing he'd dedicated roughly 2/3's of his life to taken away, his very public trial ended with his own mother making an insanity plea on his behalf and his extremely wealthy and influential sponsor dropping him like he was radioactive and the actual ruling body of the city declaring him dangerously incompetent. do any of those people who deride him for the suicide attempt actually take the time to think about what that outcome means for him in a social and professional context? he jokes to Caitlyn about working in his family factory but honestly, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that the fallout of the trial has made him a social and professional pariah and his reputation is in such dire straits that he may be entirely unemployable within Piltover, perhaps even to the point of being toxic to his own family business if they take the reputation hit by association with him.
it's not actually hyperbole or an overreaction for him to stand in the wreckage of his life and think his life is over, to be at a complete loss as to how to move forward or come to the belief that moving forward is impossible and despair, especially if he doesn't have a support network which he pretty clearly doesn't. his only connections appear to be his mother and Caitlyn and, for obvious reasons, they're not viable at this time.
he was drowning and Viktor threw him a lifeline and he spends the literal rest of the story trying to return the favor.
Sorry for the delay in responding, there's a lot here I want to address.
First of all, I absolutely agree. I think people underestimate just how much that trial left his life in wreckage. That said, there's a few points I'd like to add some nuance to from my perspective, along the lines of YEAH THIS WAS REALLY BAD and people underestimate how much Viktor did for Jayce with his vote of confidence.
(This is gonna be a long post y'all but I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about Jayce here so buckle up if you do proceed.)
1 ) The Kirammans dropping him as his patrons is absolutely devastating. It's actually the moment I think I hated Cassandra Kiramman for the most, which was turning Jayce away from her door at his lowest point, and cutting him off from Caitlyn, who seems to be his only friend before Viktor. I think it also demonstrates just how severe the crime was that she did so, by the way, I don't think she was just being cruel for the sake of it. But the fact that in 1.04 she's then showing off Jayce as an accomplishment of her house is particularly infuriating as a result. It's also no exaggeration to say that the Kiramman rejection was the final straw for him. After that, he decided to take his own life, so Cassandra would have been, in my opinion, directly responsible for his death (ironically saving her own life down the line, but then Arcane S1 is a series of hinging butterfly effect moments) if not for Viktor.
2 ) One layer of nuance I wanted to add to the Kiramman rejection in particular that you mentioned is the idea of him working at the Talis hammer factory because I think about this a LOT.
I do want to push back a little on the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a living for himself at the Talis hammer factory. To me (as someone whose family has a family business, though I don't work for it), it was never in doubt Jayce would have been able to work there the rest of his life. It might have been the only place he could get a job in Piltover, in fact, at least one with any sort of prestige or intellectual pursuit attached (basically, with anyone attached or graduated from the Academy).
However, I think Jayce would have had to work in a non-scientific part of the factory, either out on the floor or in the back office. And this is what I've been wanting to address in meta for a while now.
Caitlyn asks him what he's going to do next and Jayce says, "Work for the Talis hammer factory, I guess?" and she exclaims, "You can't do that!"
I think the nuance missing from your point that I'd like to add my view of that scene to is that Caitlyn is essentially saying, "That would kill you."
I get the very strong impression that Caitlyn and Jayce bonded over being members of their family who wanted bigger things than what their parents wanted for them. It's basically there on the page in this exchange.
We explore directly that Caitlyn wants to be a detective instead of working in politics like her mother, and pursues her dream despite adversity and her mother's disapproval.
But I think from this exchange and the one Jayce also has with his mother Ximena, we can glean that the Talis's also wanted Jayce to work for the factory, the family business, instead of going to the Academy to pursue his dream of magic.
(Also as a person whose family has a family business, that I don't work for, that has their own career and faced a lot of consternation from my family in my desire to be a writer, I feel this one very keenly.)
Jayce to me reads as someone who had to fight his family all his life to avoid going into the family business, in his pursuit of something greater.
With the Hextech dream taken away, all that's left to him is his family business, the thing I'd argue we have evidence that he's been fighting to avoid his whole life. It doesn't inspire him. It's not what he wants.
Joining the Talis factory would kill him. And that's what Caitlyn points out, and that's when he realizes she's right and goes to finish the job by his own hand instead. Further evidence I would say that working for his family business would represent a death of the soul to him, such that a physical death is preferable. But since his family built the business, and his mother clearly has reservations about his pursuit of magic, I think we can safely say he's been feeling similar pressures to Caitlyn to conform and join the business instead.
3 ) Now to go back to Viktor, I think this is another reason that Viktor literally and spiritually saved Jayce's life. Jayce outright says to his mother that if his own family won't believe in him, he'll find someone who will. Whether you read Viktor/Jayce as platonic or romantic (spouses are family, after all, which is how I read it), Viktor is Jayce's family from that point forward.
But Viktor doesn't bring Jayce back from the brink just by believing in him at his lowest moment (which is so powerful it can't be underestimated, btw) he also gives Jayce a bit of tough love too just when Jayce needs it.
Like many children of privilege (I'd firmly put Mel in this category, since she too is "trapped in the family business" I'd argue), Jayce saw himself at rock bottom after he lost his patron, the benefits of his House name, his family's support, his research, his equipment, access to his one friend, his access to the Academy, and his reputation.
Viktor points out that he never had any of those things growing up.
I think this is a welcome slap in the face for Jayce. Viktor rose to be the Dean's assistant on ability alone, without any of the scaffolding of privilege, and it humbles Jayce just when he needs it. Viktor is telling him that Jayce already has everything he needs to succeed and that others like Viktor have gotten further with less.
So not only does Viktor give his vote of confidence, he materially shows Jayce there is a way to achieving his dreams without all of the things he just lost.
Not only that, he's won the respect and assistance of someone who has done it before, someone who admires him for what he's done, someone who will help him make this dream a reality when no one else would.
Of course Jayce dedicated his life to Viktor after that. Of course he saw Hextech as their shared dream after that. I'd argue that of course he saw his life as belonging to Viktor after that point, because Viktor saved it.
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When you're lost in the Darkness
Pairing: Astarion x Reader
Summary: Astarion suspects that you're afraid of the dark. What he doesn't know, is that not only will he soon be proven right, but he severely underestimated just how severe your fear is.
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: Fluff, hurt/comfort, nyctophobia, brief description of panic attack, possibly ooc Astarion, literally one use of y/n
A/N: Hey hi hello, I am back from the void for now. I would like to make a disclamier: I have not yet played BG3!! So, if anyone is out of character, I apologize!
---
Astarion has a theory.
A small and rather unimportant one, but a theory nonetheless.
It started when he noticed the way you set up your bed roll when the group makes camp for the night. You’re always as close to the fire as you can be without lighting yourself aflame, and when it dims to a certain point, he’s watched you rouse out of a dead sleep to stoke the coals and add more fuel. At first, he thought perhaps you were just prone to chills – he knows some people run cold when they sleep – but after lingering after one of your shared nights together, he came to realise that you’re actually more like a mostly-human furnace.
Then he noticed the way you linger around any sort of light source like a moth to a flame after the sun has set, and the way you fidget and glance over you shoulder every few minutes on the off chance your back is to the darkness.
He finds it strange. Granted, he thinks you’re strange for a variety of other reasons, but this pattern of behaviour is particularly puzzling to him. Which has lead him to his theory;
“You’re afraid of the dark.” He jests after watching you glance into the woods for the umpteenth time, aiming for teasing and realising he’s missed when your face falls into something akin to shame and discomfort.
You try to cover it with a scoff, rolling your eyes in a way he knows is meant to feign indifference, “I have far worse things to fear than the dark.” You spit those last two words, as if they taste bitter on your tongue. Firelight dances in your eyes as you keep your gaze trained firmly on him, even despite how much you look like you want too search for whatever it is you’ve convinced yourself is out there, intent on disproving him.
“True,” He smirks with a practiced ease, suddenly – strangely – desperate to ease the tension he’s just created, “But should you ever find yourself too afraid to sleep alone,” He leans in just a smidgen closer, grinning coquettishly, “My arms are always open.”
You snort, the tension in your shoulders ebbing just so as you chuckle, “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
“By all means, keep me in your thoughts as long as you wish, darling.” He hums, smile just a little softer than he intends when you genuinely laugh at that, the sound sweet and airy as it bubbles up from your throat.
“And with that, I’m off to bed.” He nearly mistakes incredulousness for fondness, but catches himself as you stand. Turning back for just a moment, you give him a smile so soft, it makes is gut twist with a feeling he’s a little unsure of, “Goodnight, Astarion.”
If he’d fed more recently, he’s sure his cheeks would be flushed. He blinks, clears his throat, “Sleep well, my sweet.”
Only days later, his theory is proven correct when you stumble upon some sort of abandoned cottage – House? Astarion’s not entirely sure – and, upon Gale’s insistence that it could be useful, decide to search it for wares.
“You do know there’s likely nothing of use in here, don’t you?” Shadowheart sighs impassively as she thumbs through a tattered book, slotting it back into place where she found it once she’s deemed it useless.
Gale huffs and rolls his eyes, “Well, we won’t know until we look, will we?”
“We won’t be finding much of anything if you two don’t quit your squabbling.” You quip before turning your attention back to the chest you were searching. You just barely lean into Astarion’s space, grinning impishly. He leans in just a little closer – only to hear you better, of course – as you whisper, “They’re like children, I tell you.”
Something shatters. You both turn just as Shadowheart fixes Gale with a stern look, “Hells, Gale, pay attention to where you’re going!”
“Wh- It’s not my fault!” Astarion raises a brow at their bickering, tutting amusedly, “Children, indeed.”
Huffing a laugh, your attention slides to a door on the far side of the room and move to investigate. After trying the handle and finding it jammed, it takes a good shove to get it open. The only thing that illuminates the small pantry is the light filtering in from the door you’ve just opened.
You seem content to simply skim over the contents of the room from where you’re standing until you spot something of interest, eyes lighting up with a little gasp.
Astarion takes your place in the doorway as you rush into the room after propping the door open with a nearby pail, curious, “What have you found?”
Snatching a little tin box off a shelf, you open it and beam, “Oh, I haven’t had this in ages!”
“What?” He asks again, a little impatient.
You hold it out to him, and when he comes closer to look over the lip of the tin, he finds a fair amount of shredded, aubergine coloured leaves inside.
He looks back to you, confused, “Tea?” “Tea.” You grin, holding it up to your nose and closing your eyes to revel in the fruity scent, “I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s delicious.”
With how delighted you are over finding it, he doesn’t doubt it.
“Well, at least we can tell the others our searching wasn’t in vain.” He turns, “Settle that dispute between Gale and Shadowhear-.” The toe of his boot bumps the pail, sending it rolling as the door swings shut and swathes the room in darkness.
It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, but eventually, the door comes back into view, only now the faded sage green paint is a dull grey.
Just as he moves for the door, he’s startled by the clattering of metal and a loud bump. He whips around to ask what in the hells just happened, but the words die in his throat when he finds you pressed flat against the shelves on the far wall – which really isn’t that far considering there’s only about six feet between the two of you. He can hear your heart racing from where he’s standing, your breaths quick and shallow.
That theory he had just got a lot more important.
He calls your name and you flinch, gaze flitting in his general direction but never settling on him. You look well and truly petrified. “Darling, are you alright?”
It’s a terrible question considering you are very visibly not alright, but he can’t seem to come up with anything else fast enough.
“I can’t–.” Your voice cracks and you swallow, looking dreadfully close to tears as you squeeze your eyes shut and cover your face with your hands, “I can’t see you. I can’t see anything.”
“Hang on,” After trying the handle, he finds the door is jammed no matter how hard he yanks. He considers calling for Karlach or Wyll, but thinks better of it, not wanting to frighten you further. They’ll notice the two of you are missing and come looking eventually.
“Astarion.” His name from your lips pulls him from his thoughts. He usually loves hearing you say his name, even when your cross with him. But when it comes out like a pitiful mix between whisper and whimper, he finds his heart twists uncomfortably in his chest.
He turns back to you and stalls. Unsure, helpless. He wants desperately to comfort you, but he has no idea how. He goes over the many different ways he could try, and the many different ways you could react, before finally, “Tell me what you need.”
After a moment of hesitation, you hold out a trembling hand and he steps forward to take it without a second thought. You tense when his skin first meets yours, palms wet with tears as your breath hitches. You tug him closer to wrap your arms around his middle and cling to him like a lifeline, shaking terribly as you bury your face into his neck. He secures you to him with an arm around your back and a hand cupped over the nape of your neck. He can feel your heartbeat stuttering under his fingertips when they settle over your pulse.
You’re still gasping.
“You need to breathe, lovely.” He says it gently, voice void of his usual coquettish flare. The nickname is softer than what he’s used with you so far, and it feels and sounds more earnest than it should. He tries not to dwell on it as he soothes his palm up and down the length of your spine, “Try to mimic me. I’ll guide you, alright?” You nod, and when starts coaching you through each inhale and exhale, you do your best to follow.
It takes several breaths, but eventually, they grow deeper and stop catching in your chest. Your heart slows. Not by a lot, but enough that Astarion can stop worrying that you’ll work yourself into a panic induced fainting spell.
He guides you through a few more before asking, “Better?”
You nod. With your throat dried out from crying, your voice is rather croak-y when you reply, “A little.”
“You sound like a frog.” It startles a laugh from you, the sound letting Astarion breathe a little easier.
“I do!” You sniffle, still laughing. It makes him laugh too.
“What the hells is so funny in there?” Lae’zel shouts from the other side with all her usual charm.
“Frogs!” Astarion shouts back, and you giggle a little more.
There’s a few loud bangs as one of your friends attempts to open the door. He can feel you flinch with each one until finally, it bursts open, blessed light washing over the two of you despite Karlach towering in the doorway. Your body sags with relief, and a little, involuntary sound escapes you as a new wave of tears threatens to spill, this time for an entirely different reason.
“What happened in here?” Gale asks, looking wildly confused as you slip out of Astarion’s arms and wipe at your cheeks hastily. “Oh, erm,” You clear your throat awkwardly, gaze bouncing between the items the fell when you backed into the shelf before settling on the tea leaves. You look genuinely disappointed as you gesture vaguely towards the small pile on the floor, “I found a tea I really like and got upset when I dropped it.”
“Ah. I see.” Gale nods, still obviously perplexed. If any of them find the explanation odd, they don’t say anything.
Shadowheart leans around Karlach, “We should get a move on. There are only so many hours before sundown.”
“Right. Yes, that’s a good idea.” You nod, clearly thankful for an excuse to get the hell out of there as you squeeze past them and lead them outside.
Much to Astarion’s chagrin, Karlach turns when she notices he’s hung back, “Oi, Astarion. What are you doing?”
He glances between her and the pantry before huffing, “Just... Tell them to wait a moment.”
She narrows her eyes suspiciously but agrees, leaving him to tell you and the others. He makes his way back into the pantry for a moment before jogging outside to join you.
It’s a good few hours until you make camp, and another few before he finally plucks up the courage to approach you near your tent.
You notice him striding over and smile at the sight of him, “Astarion! To what to I owe the pleasure?”
“I come bearing gifts.” He announces dramatically, hoping his puckish grin will be enough to mask how incredibly fucking nervous he truly is.
“For me?” You ask, cocking your head slightly to one side.
He rolls his eyes playfully, “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, would I?”
“Well obviously, I just meant–,” You huff and shake your head, chuckling incredulously, “Never mind. What have you got for me?”
He holds out the tin and watches surprise and confusion flash over your face in quick succession before something unbearably soft settles over your features.
Taking it from him, you’re quick to pop the lid off. You gasp when you lay eyes on the contents, eyes wide when you look back at him with such wonder, it nearly knocks the wind out of him, “How did you–?”
“I salvaged what I could off the top of the pile. I– erm,” He clears his throat, “I thought it would be wasteful to leave perfectly good tea behind when at least one of us could enjoy what’s left of it. Irresponsible, even.”
You huff a laugh. There’s no mistaking the fondness this time.
“You’re absolutely right. That would be irresponsible of us.” Your smile shifts into something heart achingly earnest as you step closer and lean up to peck his cheek, “Thank you.”
“Of course, love.” He’s aiming for coquettish but it comes out too sincere to be convincing. That feeling twists at his chest again and it’s only now that he realises what it is.
He actually, genuinely cares for you.
Rattled, he feigns a yawn and smirks, “Well, as much as I adore your company, I really must be off to bed. Beauty sleep, and all that.”
“Right!” You seem to startle yourself with your own volume and clear your throat, chuckling awkwardly, “Right, of course. Goodnight, Astarion.”
He takes a mere second to mull it over before he throws caution to the wind and cradles the side of your neck in his palm, thumb brushing the curve of your jaw as he presses his lips to the apple of your opposite cheek. Before he takes time to actually think over his new found feelings and potentially freak himself out, he’s going to let himself indulge in you just a little while longer.
Pulling back, he brushes the back of his knuckles over the skin he just kissed, “Goodnight, Y/n.”
He can hear your heart thump, thump, thumping as he walks towards his own tent. The feelings he has for you are a new and rather inconvenient development. But if later he finds that he doesn’t particularly mind?
No one has to know just yet.
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