#i think parents need to step back at a certain point and let their kids do wnat they want

[tahdashi]

i hate how much my whole family cares ab elite schools n labels

[silversodas]

Some Interesting Things About Peri and Dev

Truthfully this is more about Peri and his interesting flaws, but there is some character analysis about Dev too.

I think when Peri and Dev finally do become friends, they would actually make an interesting pair, we actually learn that they are conflicting opposites

Peri: Rules are the only thing that separates peace from total chaos

Dev: But Peace is boring

Now, Dev may be a neglected kid, but he is the furthest thing from a wet Cat. He is smart and resourceful and a force to be reckoned with when he feels a certain type of way. It’s not entirely what he can do it’s what he is willing to do that makes him dangerous. Speaking of which, I may be calling it early, but I think that the glass ball on Peri’s wand/cane is a stabilizer and that Peri is still insanely powerful but also a pacifist. So Peri will reason with you and let’s his all powerful self get bulldozed but his human, ten year old Godkid will feed you your hair. That dynamic has the potential to be hella interesting

We also learned that Peri has an interesting flaw, he has jealousy issues. And lies to his parents?

I mentioned before that in the Birthday take back episode that Peri showed to be a little bit jealous of Hazel but didn’t see that it was a hint to his issues with jealousy till he got really jealous of Irep in the next episode

In that next episode Peri tells Dev that he’s done, that he quits. But when Dev informs Cosmo Wanda and Hazel of this apparently Peri told Cosmo and Wanda a different story

Wanda: Peri didn’t quite, he was waiting for you to call

Cosmo: He thought you two were on a brake

Uhhhh that is not at all what Peri told Dev. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad he talks to Cosmo and Wanda about his problems but boy straight up lied. He probably changed his mind and just told his parents that because he feels like they would be disappointed in him if he actually quite. And at this point I am thinking he is only sticking around with Dev for his parents, but that’s not entirely the case

Before Dev and Irep unalives Cosmo and Wanda Peri steps in with Jorgan and straight up LAUGHS in Ireps face (this took me by surprise) and gloats informing him that he never actually quite so Dev was still his Godkid

What’s so interesting is that this is the most immature we have ever seen Peri. Like this is basically the equivalent of a child running up to another child and yelling MINE! Before snatching a toy away. And that’s basically what Peri did, he basically went MINE! And snatched Dev away.

I mean look at him here. He looks like a kid who is happy that another kid he doesn’t like is in trouble. I wonder of Irep brings out this childish side of Peri. And does Jorgan punish Dev for attempted murder-

Nope…man Jorgan must have less fucks to give this time around, from what I remember if Timmy so much as farted while in Fairyworld Jorgan would appear out of nowhere like “TURNER! THIS JACKASSERY WILL NOT STAND!!!”

In case we needed it to be any clearer, Peri accidentally admits that he was jealously spying on Dev, so Peri can be a bit jealous and possessive? Interesting.That actually didn’t really bother me till this frame

Like, really dude? Your just gonna mark your territory, snatch his new friend away and not even talk to him about it? I mean he almost killed your parents at least chew him out! Ok honestly if the episode had went on longer it probably would have shown Peri turning away from his parents to face Dev and talk to him only to see that Dev ditched him. But Peri ONCE AGAIN! Got distracted by his parents at a time he needed to have his attention on Dev.

If seeing Peri at his parents place is anything to go by, I would say that Peri is definitely in the dog house

[c0ld0utside]

May i please request a merman (that has legs on land) that adopts a raccoon/possum hybrid kid

Went with the raccoon hybrid. I am so sorry these are taking me long.

Warnings: Mentions of family death, poaching(?, would people hunting mers count as that or??), mentions of dysfunctional family dynamics/abuse (not too in depth), technically kidnapping...all the fun yandere stuff.

Let's get into it.

-

Jupiter was a lonely, broken mess since he lost his pod. His mate, his parents, his siblings, his pup…gone. His tail was wounded terribly as well- to the point where using it felt like getting stabbed and cut all over again. He mostly just hid in a small hidden cove, eating the little fish that wandered in and the small hermit crabs he could snatch off the beach. It was his routine for days. Wake up, lie in the spot for hours, eat a little to get rid of the hunger pangs, lie back down, fall asleep. 

That is until one day he wakes up to the scene of a runty little racoon hybrid trying to catch a hermit crab. It’s a mess- the younger scrambling around and tripping over themself in the sand, pausing to look over at Jupiter to make sure he’s asleep. He quickly shuts his eyes, keeping them relaxed and letting out a deep sigh. Don’t mind me, fast asleep. Snoozing away…

He feels some sand land on him and flinches, but forces out a snort and shifts. Jupiter hears the little rascal giggle softly, then fall silent. Opening up and eye and peeking over his shoulder, he can see the crab making its way over to him. He doesn’t want to scare the pup- cub- but he doesn’t want them to starve, either.

Quick as a flash, he rolls over and snatches the hermit crab, ripping it out of it’s shell and offering it to the younger.

///

You let out a startled squeak at the movement, stumbling backward as the mer offers you the poor tiny crushed crab in his hand. In all honesty, you were just after it’s shell; A beautiful Murex that wasn’t too large or small. The mer frowns, red-brown fins lowering against the side of his head slightly. His scales reminded you of the dunes at sunrise and sunset- warm tones of red, orange and yellow with some brown. The mer chirps at you, starting to pull himself closer before freezing and backing into the water. …Okay. Strange. 

Confused hazel eyes stare at you, and he offers you the crab one more time. You shake your head, looking over at the shell instead. He seems to understand then and sinks deeper into the water. There’s a beat. Two. Then he moves forward again and offers you the shell. He’s like a wave- not knowing where he’s going or what he’s doing. Back and forth. Unsteady. 

“Thank you,” you say, the words coming out eager. You turn the shell around in your hands, thumb rubbing against the dull points and the rings. It’s a little yellow and pink from the sand and the salt. “It’s beautiful.”

The mer chirps at you again, expression softening in awe. Your ears flatten on your head and your tail twitches. “Can I help you?” Yes. You absolutely can. He just needs to get himself together first. 

His frills flare when you step away and he lets out a pleading sound, fingers digging into the wet sand. At first you think he’s hissing. Then he finally gets the words out. “Sssssstay,” he rasps, voice weak from lack of use. The actions have you retreating further when you finally notice the still-healing and scarring cuts on his tail.

Oh.

Maybe he’s asking for help? Well in that case, you just so happened to know about a certain coastal market that should have some ointments. “Wait here,” You tell the mer. “I’ll go get something that can help.” You scamper off to the markets and try to ignore the clicks the mer makes. 

The fastest way to the market is also the way that leaves you with the most scrapes and bruises. …You cut straight through the woods on a forgotten path and tumbled down a few short slopes, rolling right into the market. Ignoring the raised brows and looks you’re getting, you slip into the crowd and at least forty-five minutes later manage to lose the angry shopkeep with some ointment and a towel in hand. There was an awkward moment where you thought you got busted and played dead for a few seconds though you shove it into the back of your mind and press on. Right. Strange merman is more important. 

The trek back was exhausting to the point where you collapsed in the sand. Sand which was burning hot already…for some reason. You quickly scrambled back up with a yelp, running into the water to cool off your legs. Mere seconds later, the mer resurfaced, chirping urgently at you. “Agh-! Yeah, yeah, hi again.” You mutter as the mer moves closer to you. “I got you some stuff for your tail.” He takes the ointment you offer him and tilts his head at you before snatching the towel as well. “Hey! That was for me-”

You trail off as the mer crawls out of the water, quickly wrapping the towel around himself as he stands on wounded legs. Since when could merfolk do that? You had no idea. 

[...]

Months have passed since then and you find yourself returning to the cove, giving the mer (who’s name you’ve learned is Jupiter) some company. Most days it’s boring- helping him regain his voice and bringing him necessities. “Little one, please, you shouldn’t have to be doing this for me,” Jupiter murmurs as you set some clothes down on the beach. “And I already have clothes! This is too much.” He insists. “You can’t wear the same thing over and over again,” you point out. “And you need to practice walking. Now hurry up and get yourself dry so you can try those on.” Huffing a laugh at your bossiness, Jupiter drags himself onto the sand and grabs the towel. “[Name,]” he calls as he wraps it around his waist, “Do you have a family of your own?” You pause. You and your family had a complicated relationship. You all loved each other to some degree but physical and verbal disagreements along with weak, unstable bonds with your parents and siblings pushed you into leaving way earlier than most hybrids of your kind. You still had a nasty bite scar from your eldest sister. 

“Yeah. We don’t get along much, though.” You say, deciding on telling him everything and nothing. The sound of shifting fabric mixes with the lapping of the waves and the breeze in the trees. While you wait, you decide to look for shells again. “So you left?” He asks in disbelief. “Yeah. Shocking, am I right?” You reply, tail twitching in slight irritation. “But you’re so young,” Jupiter comments sadly, finishing getting dressed and pulling a shirt over his head.  “I’m not that young.” You scoff. “Then why are you so tiny?” He asks, tone so sweet it’s condescending. “Because hybrids of my species are small. Why are you so large underwater?” Jupiter hums. “Fair point. You can turn around now.” You shake your head. “Can’t, I think I just found a shell.” You pull a whelk out of the sand. “Scratch that. Definitely found a shell.”

“Oooh, that one’s nice.” Jupiter comments, peeking over your shoulder. He falls silent again. “Where did you put all of the other ones you found?” He asks. “There’s a harpy that I trade some of them to. I kept the ones I liked the most in a hollow but someone stole them.” You answer, making him frown. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.” You reassure, though he catches the smallest hint of bitterness in your tone. Which brings an idea into his head.

“I know a safe place for you to put them,” he offers, knowing exactly where to go. Jupiter had found a nice cave on the cliffside, one that was hard to leave unless you were a merfolk or an avian. That certainly caught your attention. “Show me.” Pleased by your eagerness, Jupiter helped you onto his back and swam off to the littoral cave. He didn’t mention that you would be staying there no matter what you said. It was a hard decision, yes, but you’ll understand in the end. Call him paranoid, but this world was so dangerous! Especially for a small thing like you. But it’ll be okay now, and he’s already made it all comfy and cozy. And it’s not like you’ll be staying there all day. That’d be cruel! No, no. He’ll take you out to go swimming and hiking and beach combing. Jupiter will even bring you back some books! Getting the hang of walking on land was the best thing he ever did in his opinion.

Now he can make his own little stall at the market. Now he can sell the shells you don’t want to keep for actual money, buy himself some fishing nets, and go on from there. What would you need the money for? No need to worry. Papa will take care of it all. He’ll buy you all the comforts you’d ever want.

[brucewaynehater101]

Apologies if I'm remembering wrong but I recall you posting/reblogging a post of Tim being afraid for Damian after he became Robin, thinking Red Hood would redirect his ire to him

Let's expand on that, Damian finding out about all the horrible shit Tim went through and put himself through and beginning to dread being Robin more and more but not wanting to take it back because he doesn't want to add onto Tim's pain

((and also because giving up robin would make him look week, but that's just an excuse))

So Damian is wrecked with anxiety because when is the hammer gonna drop and he'll receive what Tim did?

And if Tim's inheritance is going to be his, that means inheriting all the labor he is endures when running Wayne Enterprises, and etc

And Damian—wrong as he is—thinking himself selfish for hoping Tim stays in the family just so the day he inherits his duties comes later

Damian bonding with Tim over pain the latter experienced and the former is certain he will as well

((and also imagine what will go through Damian's head if he were to find out Tim doesn't even consider himself an actual Wayne member and just a Placeholder to keep the family from crumbling to pieces like that other post, a Placeholder until Jason and Damian came))

((and suddenly his assassination attempts seem like all for nothing and even self-sabotage, woof))

Hello! It seems that there are two of my posts you're referring to here (which is super super cool). This is going to be a long post cause it inspired me to really look at their dynamic and explore it.

One post talks about how Tim became Red Robin and didn't choose another mantle. There's a few reasons for this (like not being able to step down from his role of helping Bruce), but the reason you're referring to is another theory of mine. Tim may be Red Robin to share the burden and pain being Robin entails. He doesn't want Damian to face it alone. By being Red Robin, he can shoulder some of the ire from Batman.

The other post has Tim, who signed himself up to being Jason's placeholder both in an out of the mask, seeing himself as worthless and temporary. Both of his roles, being Jason and being Robin, got filled by Jason and Damian later.

Now that we've got the background, I absolutely love your take on this. I will add a few fics that expand on this view, but I do want to talk about it more first.

Unfortunately, Damian is used to a lot of abuse before coming to live with the Waynes (I love good mom Talia, but training to be an assassin is still abuse. She could have good reasons, but it still hurt Damian). He probably felt that he needed to earn his place and fulfill his familial role as Robin. Even as he matures and heals a bit, he may be reluctant to let Robin go. That type of training and enforced dedication to family is not simple to let go (even from a purely emotional abuse standpoint without any of the physical abuse he likely endured [This can be another thing he shares with Tim and his reluctantance to let Red Robin go]).

Kids, like Damian, will see others in similar situations and try to avoid their fate.

What is more likely? Tim is just special in being a target of isolation and abuse, or that Damian could one day be treated the same?

There's a ton of interesting theories about roles within abusive families (my family was emotionally abusive fyi). The sad part is that some of the kids will follow the example of their parents and abuse their siblings. This is both because parents model behavior and as a survival technique to not become the scapegoat like that one sibling. Damian may have joined in on being verbally abusive for both of these reasons (as well as being an extremely traumatized kid lashing out).

As he grows older and gains perspective (as well as distance from his LoA days), he may reflect on his behavior and the treatment of Tim. Tim is also the closest in age to Damian. He might be around physically more than the other siblings (besides Duke). Perhaps Duke even points out the differential treatment. There's a lot of ways that the metaphorical ball could get rolling.

This could be where Damian starts to regret his actions toward Tim. It may start from a selfish place (which, survival is not selfish and being selfish isn't always bad) of Damian realizing the assassination attempts are self-sabotage (and I love this idea and reflection on Damian). This would then morph into a genuine relationship and reliance on Tim.

I imagine, with these circumstances, that Tim becomes an anchor and safe point for Damian. All of the siblings have varying effects on the others, but this would be separate from that. While Dick is Damian's harbor, Tim would be closer to a lighthouse protecting Damian from the rocky shoreline. Dick is a place to rest and heal. Tim is a warning and guide (feel free to reblog with how the other batkids would be with Damian or each other).

Continually, Damian wanting Tim to stick around the family for his own safety hurts like hell. This casts the older sibling guilt (of leaving your siblings behind in that damn house) in a younger sibling's shame. Depending on the age, the younger sibling might be angry the older left or ashamed they want to ask in the first place. As a middle child, that fucking hurts (my situation is a bit more nuanced than that, but fuck. Ow).

Anyways, tons of angst to explore there on both of their parts.

I sincerely hope that Damian gets a life outside of WE. I hope he at least has time to explore himself (and maybe get a different career) before ever taking up WE. Depending on Tim's role in WE, this may fuck him over. I would be down to read some fics that explore Tim struggling under WE (cause he was meant for the research labs and not meeting rooms) and his refusal to step down due to the pressure that would put on Damian's shoulders (I know Tim isn't actually CEO in canon, but it's good to explore how the expectation of taking up the family business affects sibling dynamics).

Fic rec time! All are on AO3

"Exit Strategy" by smilebackwards (Tim's plan to leave the Waynes creates the ability for Damian and Tim to bond [not that Damian knows this is the plan]. Hurt ensues).

"Taming a Baby Assassin" by nighttmr (Tim, after being notified that he's getting a younger sibling with Damian, decides he'll be a big brother regardless of the effort required).

"Some Common Ground" by Do_wa_diddy (Both Damian and Tim are used to cruel standards of training. The others do not understand this and try to limit how they train. This causes Tim and Damian to bond).

"Just Like the Movies" by faithms (Damian finds a flash drive of all the times Bruce has been horrible to Tim).

"The Study of Birds" by MaskoftheRay (Tim and Damian find a common interest in bird watching. It shows them slowly becoming closer despite the obstacles).

Last one:

"You'll Change Your Name or Change Your Mind (previous title: Tim Drake Learns to Set Boundaries)" series by samsamiam.

I wholeheartedly recommend this series. Basically, Tim sets boundaries for himself while offering Damian sanctuary (should the kid need). It becomes Tim protecting Damian even from Bruce. Very very very good.

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 21

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents, smut, mentions of thoughts of suicide.

Word Count: 3.6k

Chapter 20 | Masterlist

“Who do you think you are-” “Shut up!” I yelled as I turned to face her. She closed the door a shocked look on her face. “How fucking dare you.” I said as I pointed at her. “How dare I?” I nodded. “Yeah. As I grew up I realized what a shitty mother you were but I never expected this kind of low from you!” She was reeling. “Shitty mother? You should be grateful to us! We raised you with only the best-” “AND I WAS MISERABLE!” I screamed. “You raised me with so much fucking trauma! You want to know why I was so ‘emotional’? Maybe you should read these!” I tossed the papers at her, the paper clip keeping them together. She grabbed them and within a second her face fell. “How did you get these?” She asked. “My doctor gave them to me when I went to see her today. Asked me of I was taking anything for my ADHD and depression.” I’m sure my face was tinged red, showing how angry I am and I hope she understands the severity of this. “You didn’t tell me.” I seethed. “You didn’t tell me when you knew of ways to help me.” I said as I stepped closer. “Instead you let me suffer and struggle and be made fun of and called the weird kid my entire childhood.” I was in her face by the time I finished. “You let me suffer and consider suicide at fucking thirteen years old when I could’ve been in therapy and on medications to make me function better!” “They only gave us this diagnosis to shove pills down your throat! You don’t have any of this! You were and are just a bad misbehaved child! You needed what our parents gave and that was a good ass whooping! I messed up with you because I was too soft on you.” She stepped past me and I was shocked. 

“Too soft on me?! Smacking me in the face was too soft? Daddy beating the hell out of me with a belt was too soft?! You’re sick in the head!” I said and she scoffed. “I did what I had to do-” “No, you did what you thought was easy! Because you couldn’t buck up and be a decent person or a good mother! Because having patience for your child was too hard!” “WE COULDN’T HANDLE YOU!” She screamed in response. “YOU WERE THE WORST BEHAVED CHILD I HAD EVER MET!” It shouldn’t have but it stung. “We couldn’t handle you! I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you! Especially when you were a baby! You would just cry and cry and I almost just stopped taking care of you all together but I knew if you died your father and I would be in prison!” My chest heaved at her words. It hit me hard how little she truly cared. I walked over and snatched the papers as a coughing fit hit me. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll drop dead. It’s the least you deserve after all these years of torture and abuse.” She laughed loudly at my words. “I’ll be here good and long after you’re dead. If I’m lucky I’ll watch them lower your casket.” I stopped in my tracks at her words. “No, you won’t. Because now I have a happy life and I’m away from the misery you’ve inflicted on me!” I said as I turned away from her and headed for the door. “Oh by the way, I was at the doctors for a flu diagnosis. Hopefully one of your lungs will collapse and you’ll suffer on the floor.” Her face dropped. My mom rarely got sick but she’s in her sixties so she’s more susceptible. “You little bitch!” She rushed forward and raised her hand but my fingers wrapped around her wrist, effectively stopping her. My free hand came back before my own palm connected with her face and she stumbled back. 

My chest heaved as I looked at her down on the floor, holding her face as she breathed heavily. “It hurts doesn’t it?” I asked and she moved her hand, revealing a red mark. “All the times you and daddy hit me, it didn’t just hurt physically. I sat there and I wondered what I could’ve done to deserve it, what made you hate me. But now I know all I had to do was be born. Don’t worry, you’ll never see or hear from me again. You can start pretending I never existed.” With that I walked out the front door, slamming it on my way out. I got in the truck and immediately left. I picked up my medicine before going home. As soon as I was home I grabbed all my stuff and went inside. When I got the door closed and latched everything hit me at once. I leaned against the door as the sobs hit and sunk down till my knees were against my chest. I almost feel like it would be better if I did something to make them hate me, but simply my mere existence made my mother want to go as far as kill me. Having my mother confirm they never loved me hit hard and I feel like my heart is being split apart. Eventually I got up and took a shower, knowing it may make me feel a little better. Once I was out I dried off, took my medicine and crawled into the spare bed in the guest room. I wanted to do my best to keep Jake from getting sick and that meant sleeping in here for a while. My mind raced with all the thoughts and memories of my parents, how I never truly did anything, they just hated me. Tears ran down my face, soaking my neck and pillow as I cried myself to sleep. 

Fingers ran through my hair and roused me from my sleep. “Hey, darlin’. Why you in here?” Jake whispered, leaning down to kiss my temple. “I didn’t wanna get you sick.” I mumbled. “I appreciate that. What did the doctor say?” Everything came rushing back and tears came to my eyes. I sat straight up, keeping the covers against my chest as I looked away from him. “I-I do have the flu.” I said as I rubbed my eyes. He hummed and kissed my bare shoulder. “I’ll make some soup for dinner.” I shook my head. “You don’t have to. I’m not hungry.” He raised a brow at me. “Are you sure?” I nodded, giving him a small smile. “I’m sure.” He sighed and kissed my head again. “Okay, you’ll holler if you need me right?” I nodded as I laid back down and he stood. “I love you, Jake.” I whispered as he walked towards the door. “I love you too, Katie.” He closed the door behind him and my tears came back. I leaned over to my purse in the chair next to the bed and pulled out my diagnosis papers. I read over them the words depression, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, and autism glared at me from the white paper. If Jake saw this would he change his mind? Would he no longer love me? The thought terrified me. I couldn’t lose him. He’s a big part of me figuring out who I am without my parents, I’m not sure I could turn around and figure out who I am without him. “I won’t tell him. He can’t know.” I said as I stuffed the papers back in my purse, laying down again. “I can’t tell him. “ I muttered, fingers gripping my pillow tightly. 

Two days later I still felt like shit and I haven’t eaten. “Katie darlin’, you have to eat. You’re starving yourself right now.” Jake muttered as he came into the guest room. “Jake, I’m just not hungry.” I was sitting up in bed doing some school work and this was the third time today he’s asked me to eat. I’ve been drinking a bunch of water but I had no appetite. “You’re not going to get any better just sitting there and not eating. You’re only gonna get weaker and it’ll take you longer to get over this.” I huffed, closing my eyes. “Jake. I am not hungry. Now please, stop pestering me about it.” I said. “Katie, you have to eat.” I slammed the lid of my laptop closed. “Jake! I am not hungry! Now for the love of God JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled and he stepped back in surprise. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Jake, I'm sorry. I just don’t feel good and I just want to be left alone.” I set my laptop on the table and laid back down, my back to him and the door. He sighed before leaving and closing the door and more tears streamed down my face. Another day passed by, it was almost time for Jake to come home from work and I was in the kitchen finally trying to make myself something to eat. 

I had decided to just do some noodles with a little chicken and tomato sauce. The chicken was already cooked so I just tossed it into the pan with the sauce. I leaned against the counter reading as I waited and when the timer went off for the noodles I heard the front door open. I grabbed the pot and walked it to the sink to drain them but as I went to tilt it I lost my grip and the pot went into the floor spilling noodles and boiling water everywhere. “Katie?” Jake sounded concerned and came into the kitchen. I just stared at my food on the ground and everything within me broke. “Dammit!” I screamed, grabbing the pot and slamming it down onto the counter. “I can’t even just make fucking pasta!” I felt like all of my emotions were just gonna explode out of me. “What dumbass can’t make pasta?!” My hands went into my hair as tears burst from my eyes. I felt like I was having a complete breakdown. “Katie, darlin’. Your feet!” My feet had been covered in boiling water but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to care. Jake rushed over, lifting me till I was sat on the counter. “Oh, Katie, your feet.” They were an ugly shade of red and I could feel them throbbing. Jake cut the sink on and turned me till he could stick my feet under the cool water. “Stay there while I clean this up.” I just stared at my feet in the sink. Jake cleaned up my mess and took my chicken off the stove before turning to me. He cut the water off and grabbed a paper towel to dry my feet. “I’m sorry.” 

He looked at me with raised brows. “Why are you sorry?” He asked as I started to cry. “You just got home and I made a mess and I just let you clean it up. I should’ve stopped you and done it myself. God I’m such an awful person! I can’t even cook for myself without making a huge ass mess and I’ve been so mean to you when all you’ve tried to do is help me and-” I was startled when his large hands gently grabbed my face. “Hey, hey. Where is all this coming from?” He asked as he stared into my eyes and I started sobbing. I was sobbing hard and he just pulled me into him and held me. I clutched to him like a child as my tears soaked his clothes. His hand rubbed my back and he whispered soothing words to me as he held me. “I’m sorry!” I cried into his shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He held me for a few more minutes until I calmed down and I sat up and looked him in the eyes. “I went and saw my mother a few days ago.” His eyes widened and his face turned red. “Katie, why would you do that?” He didn’t sound mad, but he looked it. “I-I had to confront her. I couldn’t go the rest of my life without talking to her.” I spit out, hoping to ease his anger but I realized I had brought up a whole other situation with it. “Confront her about what?” He asked, confusion all over his face. I bit my lip, not knowing how to tell him. “Katie, what is going on? Is this part of why you’ve been acting weird the last few days?” He asked as his hands slid from my face to my neck. 

I slid off the counter and walked away, up to my room and he followed close behind. “Katie.” He asked as he stopped in the doorway. I had the paper in my hands and I stared at it. “When I went to the doctor I discovered a few things about myself. Things my parents never told me. N-no matter how you feel about this I’ll respect it. If you want to break up we can, if you want me to leave I will-” “Darlin’.” He walked over and grabbed my hand, pulling me to sit on the bed next to him. “You need to talk to me, Katie.” I sighed, holding the paper out to him. I buried my face in my hands as he read it. I’m not sure how long we sat in silence for but when I sat up his arms were hanging down between his legs as he stared straight ahead. “Jake?” I asked. “I can’t believe this.” He muttered, looking down at the paper again. “Jake, I’m sorry-” “You’re sorry?!” He jumped up and I got scared, he stood over me and I could swear smoke was coming out of his ears. “How can you be sorry when you have nothing to be sorry for?!” He asked and I was confused. “Your parents, the two people who were supposed to love you and take care of you kept something this big from you? Your entire life?” He asked, staring at the paper again. “Yeah.” I muttered, looking down at my hands, not wanting to meet his gaze but I yelped when I was grabbed and he pulled me into him. He squeezed me and I stood still for a second before hugging him back. 

“Katie, I swear to you, your parents will never be able to hurt you again.” I pulled away, meeting his gaze. “Yo-you don’t think I’m weird or want to break up?” I asked and he set the papers down before pulling me into him again, one arm around my waist, the other cradling my face. “Katie, I fell in love with you. Everything about you. Every little quirk in your personality, all of it. Katie, all of this is what makes you you and I fell in love with every bit of it. Now there’s just a name for all of it.” Tears soaked my cheeks as I bit my lip. “I love you, too.” I said before squeezing him to me. He held me as I cried, rubbing my back. “Is this what you confronted your mom about?” I nodded, wiping my eyes. “I was so angry when I found out I barged my way into her house and yelled at her.” He cracked a small smile. “And I hit her.” I confessed and his face fell. “I’m going to assume she hit you first?” I tilted my head side to side. “She attempted but I stopped her and then hit her.” My face burned with a blush. “Well it was self defense.” I hummed as my eyes locked on the door behind him. “I asked her if it hurt. I hope it did. I want them both to hurt like I have my entire life.” Jake’s face fell and he tilted my chin so I was looking at him. “They’ll get what they deserve Katie, but it’s also not good to wish harm on people.” I knew he was right, it would only tank my mental health. “You’re right.” I muttered and he held the back of my neck, pulling me towards him till his lips pressed against my forehead. “Why don’t you go put some burn cream on your feet, crawl in bed with some socks, and I’ll make your food and bring it to you.” I shook my head. “My feet don’t hurt, and I can make my food. You just got home from work-” He stopped me, shaking his head. “I just got home from work and I want to make you food. You’re exhausted from being sick and constantly thinking about what’s on these papers.” He said as he shook said papers. “I want you to relax and finally get some rest.” I sighed, giving in. “Okay.” I said and he smiled. “And you need to go get in our bed, I haven’t been sleeping right with you in here.” I pursed my lips. “Jake, I’m still sick.” I said and he shrugged. “If I haven’t gotten it yet, I won’t now.” I sighed again and nodded. “Okay. Where’s the burn cream?” I asked and he grinned. “Under the cabinet, in the first aid kit.” I nodded, trudging out. 

I did as he asked and put the cream on my feet and slid some fuzzy socks over them  before crawling in bed. I curled up facing Jake’s side, his smell wafting into my nose and I quickly drifted off. “Darlin’.” I immediately woke up, looking up at him as he held a tray. “Sorry, it was so easy to fall asleep.” I said as I sat up. He set the tray next to me and chuckled. “You’re exhausted. I reheated some of that tomato soup you had in the freezer, and made you a grilled cheese.” He said before kissing my temple. “Mm, thank you.” I muttered. I set the tray in my lap as he stood from kneeling on his side of the bed. “I’ll be back, gonna get you something to drink.” I just hummed as I started eating. It was good and I could already tell I was starting to feel better. After a minute Jake came back in with ginger ale and a second tray. “Here.” He sat the drink on my tray and sat next to me before kicking off his shoes. I watched as he wandered around the room, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and kicking off his jeans and longhorn shirt before slipping the sweatpatns on and crawling in bed with me. “Thank you for this, Jake.” I said as I leaned back against the pillows. “You’re welcome, darlin’.” He grabbed my hand, kissing it gently before letting go and grabbing the remote. “Okay, let’s see what movie we can find.” 

The following week I was much better and went back to school although I was shaking on Tuesday for clinicals. “Hey, glad to see your feeling better.” I was startled by Crystal’s voice as I walked into the break room. “Oh, yeah. The flu really kicked my butt.” I pulled out the breakfast sanwich Jake made for me before he went to work and sat across from her. “Last time I had it I didn’t think I was gonna make it out alive.” She said and chuckled. “Thankfully mine wasn’t that bad.” I told her. “Well let me know when you’re done and we can get started.” I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Get started?” She nodded. “Yeah, you’re with me. I was the only one who didn’t get one of you so you’re with me.” She smiled at me and I felt so relieved. “Oh, thank god. I was scared I was going to be paired up with someone mean.” I laughed. I had heard from Starla that the nurse she was paired up with was awful towards her and she left here crying on the second day of clinicals. Crystal chuckled and shook her head. “No, just me. Meet me out at the nurse’s station once your done.” I nodded and continued eating. Soon others filed in including Annie. “I’m so glad you’re back. Brooke and I are studying at her apartment tonight, we wnated to know if you wanted to join?” I nodded. “Let me see how I feel after today and I’ll let you know before we leave.” She gave me a thumbs up before walking out. 

Once I was done I cleaned up and walked out towards the nurse’s station. Most of the rooms were dark and empty as I walked by and rounded the corner to see Crystal in front of a computer. “Okay, have a seat.” She said as she rolled a chair over. “Kim is going to review all of our patients with us.” I nodded and sat down with my notepad and pen. Once we got everything I blinked rapidly. “You okay?” Kim asked and I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a lot to take in and I already feel like I’ve missed so much.” Kim and Crystal both nodded. “Well better get used to it sweetheart. It’s all fast paced around here.” I nodded and she smiled before standing. “I’m getting out of here. I have the next three days off and I’m only going to use them to sleep.” Crystal and I both said our goodbye’s before she stood. “So, you wanna go check some vitals with me?” I nodded rapidly, excited to get started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @graceandpursuit @cherrycola27 @daisydaisygoose @rosiahills22 @deanoheartspie @cornishkat @high-speed-r @fogle97 @mygyn @ohgodnotagainn @emma8895eb @senjoritanana @kmc1989 @sandaltoesocks @dempy @itsdesiree86 @sunderland-6 @jstarr86 @brooke-stinson @rachkon @topguncultleader @bethbunnyy @topgun-imagines @clancycucumber230 @seitmai @kkrenae @djs8891 @shanimallina87 @wildxwidow @eugene-emt-roe @hisredheadedgoddess28 @littlewhiterose @formulapierre @wade-wilsons-chew-toy @bethabear @halstead-severide-fan @gg-trini @memeorydotcom @schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker @inthestars-underthesun @praline357 @fanboyluvr @greaser9902 @felinegrate @lemmons1998 @thegoddessc @lynnevanss @daddyslittlevillain

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Hidden Hearts Reunited

A Mikey x reader oneshot (part 2, read part 1 so you understand what's goin' on sucka)

-- You were Manjiro's first and closest friend, before Baji, Sanzu, or Draken. You were there. Your mothers were friends, meaning you were destined to be friends either way. You spent every second together since birth, a result of both mothers planning the deliveries on the same day. They realized a distinct difference between you and Manjiro, like night and day; you and Manjiro are polar opposites. Unlike Manjiro, who was always crying and screaming, you were quiet with a cute smile on your little round face. Manjiro would constantly cling onto you, as toddlers, crying louder if you were ever separated. Both mothers gushed at his actions. He would share his toys only with you and sleep peacefully next to you. It was an unbreakable bond between the both of you, from birth --

Taking a single step forward, you urgently called out to him, "DON'T MOVE! STAY RIGHT THERE, MANJIRO!"

Your aunt, still bewildered by your abrupt encounter with the enigmatic boy, observed as he came to an abrupt halt. Simultaneously, a speeding car raced in front of him, emphasizing the gravity of the situation – had he taken another step, he might not have seen the sun again.

A sigh of relief left your lips as you realized what you had prevented,

"Damn, if that kid would've taken another step, he would've been mangled, shit. How do you know that car was coming?" Your aunt was somewhat surprised by the speed of your reactions and the intensity of your voice, considering your soft-spoken and gentle demeanor since she picked you up from the airport.

"Mikey! Where the hell are you going, man?!" His friend finally caught up, emerging from the restaurant they had just left a minute ago.

"Draken! It's Y/n, she's there!" He pointed across the street, locking eyes with his friend.

"Mikey...there's no one there."

"What..." his voice barely more than a whisper as he turned, only to be met with the sight of an empty street.

No...no...where did she go? Damn it, Y/n, why? Why do you keep leaving?!

He felt like he was losing his sanity. He had found you, after all these years. And now, he lost you again. You called out to him, saved him from getting hit. It was truly you, despite your physical changes over the years. The look on your face as you uttered his name, he was certain he made no mistake.

Your aunt wore a look of extreme confusion as you grasped her hand and hurried away, your expression dazed and breaths heavy.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concern evident as she cupped your face and observed your bewildered look. "Did you know that boy?"

"N-no, I didn't. I-I really didn't," Your tone suggested a mixture of shock, uncertainty, and a hint of nervousness, as if you were trying to convince both her and yourself.

Giving you a moment to catch your breath, your aunt supported you as you leaned against a random store's wall. You fell into a heavy silence, the repetitive thoughts echoing in your mind:

That wasn't him...

That wasn't him..

Your aunt enveloped you in a protective embrace, as if shielding you from your own thoughts.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. Let's head home. You've just endured a long flight, and you should have rested first. Leaving the house was a bit of a foolish idea anyway," she comforted, rubbing your back.

You trembled slightly in her arms as she continued to offer comfort.

What was I thinking? She needs to rest, especially considering what she's been through recently. I'm sorry, Y/n.

Now, as you lie in your bed, the weight of your new life in Japan, the recent loss of your parents, and the guilt of leaving your friend all converge, overwhelming you. The room feels heavy with emotions as you grapple with the fear of him hating you.

Tears well up in your eyes, slowly trickling down your face and cheeks. Each tear seems to carry the burden of your emotions, staining the pillows beneath you. The quiet sobs escape as your emotions spill over, and the room bears witness to the silent upheaval.

Your aunt, leaning against the door, observing the emotional storm within you. The weight of the situation hangs in the air, and her presence serves as a silent support, allowing you the space to navigate the complex emotions that engulf you,

"Y/n." Her voice was a little muffled, being behind the door.

"I know how you feel, I promise you, you aren't alone. Love has never been in my life; I never had the blessing of children, and loneliness was my constant companion. Until a couple of weeks ago when I was informed you'd start living with me. It felt as though the weight of a lifetime of isolation had finally lifted because of you. I love you more than you could imagine. I'll never let you have to face anything on your own." There was genuine caring and compassion in your aunt's words.

You fell into a contemplative silence, realizing that you had never known or met your aunt during your childhood, given her youth. Yet, you could sense the unwavering love she held for you.

…Could someone really continue loving another despite not seeing them?

Eventually, you assume your aunt has left because the shadow under your doorframe has disappeared. You hugged yourself realizing the constant sense of inadequacy that plagued you throughout your entire life. Fear holds you back from speaking up, going out, or forming meaningful friendships. Even the one friend you managed to make, seemed to hate you.

God, your message resonates with me – I know that I've been pathetic for as long as I can remember.

You rose from bed, changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a hoodie. You left your room and made your way downstairs, your aunt was engrossed in flipping through TV shows with the remote.

"Hey, you're up. Feeling better?" she inquired.

"Yeah."

You lied.

"I was thinking of taking a walk. Need some fresh air," you requested.

"Kiddo, as long as you're not into anything illegal or harmful, feel free. I trust you to make responsible choices and not get yourself into trouble Oh and here's some cash, if you want to treat yourself to something, keep it healthy." she assured.

Having made the decision to venture outside, you felt a slight chill in the air as you strolled through the neighborhood. A quick stop at a corner store satisfied your snack craving. Unbeknownst to you, your legs seemed to guide you effortlessly to the neighborhood of your childhood, drawing you closer to where Manjiro lived. Looking around,

I used to come here a lot with him, I wonder if he still lives near here

You thought about your choice, continuing on your path or checking if Manjiro was still there. Curiosity prevailed, and you found yourself walking toward the familiar location.

Unbeknownst to you, your arrival caught the attention of someone inside his shop, engrossed in working on bikes. Shinichiro paused his screw-tightening, squinting to confirm what he was seeing.

"Shin, you good?" Takeomi inquired, casting a peculiar glance your way.

"Manjiro wasn't joking. She's really around here! Keep an eye on the shop for a moment, Takeomi," Shinichiro declared, swiftly wiping his greasy hands on his jeans before dashing out of the shop to follow you.

He clearly hadn't thought it through, as, from your perspective, a fully grown man was rapidly approaching you.

Wait...WHAT THE-

In a panic, you sprinted scared for your life.

DAMN IT, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE; NOW, I'M GONNA GET MURDERED BY SOME GREASY OLD GUY WITH A PIPE.

Glancing behind you, he was still in hot pursuit.

WHAT DID I EVEN DO?!

Abruptly, you collided full force into someone.

"Ow, fuck." you muttered, rubbing your arm.

"Watch where you're going, you idiot. Who do you think you are?" The man, radiating a tough demeanor and grabbed you by the collar of your hoodie.

...yep, I definingly should've stayed my ass home. Goodbye world.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Let her go now!" The old man chasing you earlier, spoke in a firm tone, causing the guy to straighten up and bow.

"S-sorry, Shinichiro."

Shinichiro?

"Please don't kill me, old man," you pleaded, taking a step back.

"...Y/n, I'm only 25," he retorted, visibly hurt by your "old man" comment.

"Why are you running away from us, dude?"

Us...?

"Wait, Shinichiro Sano?"

"Yep, try not to fall for me." He remarked, a hint of smugness in his tone.

"...You don't have a girlfriend yet, do you?" You bluntly asked with a blank expression.

"You and Manjiro are bullies, I swear to God," he uttered, pained by the resemblance.

You looked away, hearing his name,

"I know it's hard after all these years Y/n, but I promise you. Manjiro doesn't hate you."

"You don't know that!" You were quick to shoot back,

"You're only saying that because you're scared." His voice was comforting just as it was back then.

He extended his hand towards you with a gentle smile. Though hesitant, the growing distance between you and Mikey became unbearable in your heart, the chains of your shared promise, shared curse, weighed heavily on your heart.

So here you were sitting awkwardly in front of Manjiro, not a single peep leaving your lips, your hands in your lap.

Damn you Shinichiro, I don't know what to say.

Abruptly rising from his seat and making his way to the door, you expect Manjiro to leave, not wanting to see your face ever again. But to your surprise, he did not leave; instead, Your heart skipped a beat as he locked the door.

@mysouleaten (You wanted to be tagged in part 2 so here ya go)

-- looks like Ima have to write part 3, it's probably gonna have some spice. Hope you enjoyed part 2

go read part 1 if you didn't, like who reads part 2 without reading part 1 lolol --

[11queensupreme11]

If this was a competition to see who was winning in the advancement of their relationship with Percy let's just say:

1st place: Anubis

married

sleeps in the same bed

have a palace together

have a kid

Successfully co-parent

Semi-stable relationship (only because one doesn't know their actually in a relationship🤪)

2nd place: Hades

Married

Rule together (sorta I mean their King and Queen of Helheim now so c'est la vie)

Took her first kiss

Has had some HEAVY petting sessions

3rd Place: Poseidon (I just know he would hate that his relationship is ranked lower than Anubis AND Hades but u snooze, u lose; my man)

Closer bond and easier access to Percy and what she can and can't do (cause he's, u know...her dad😭)

Have couple-themed thrones

Has the backing of Proteus and the other seven kingdoms (plus mommy!rhea)

Had some HEAVY petting sessions😏

Will throw hands for his daughter (no words, his hands are rated E for everyone (even Percy but only during certain...situations😏👏🍑))

4th Place: Beelzebub (has been bumped down to 4 since he's been avoiding her lately and the other yans have taken this time to STEP UP their mf game!)

Percy has an unacknowledged growing crush on him that was confirmed by Aphrodite

They have gone on MULTIPLE dates (strawberry picking, trips to the city, Ferris wheel💙, outings to Valhalla, sightseeing via taxi cab(with a little side of assisted homicide for flair 💅🏾) slow dancing, etc.)

Knows about her friends and family

Knows most of her secrets

Shared backstories

Similar suicidal tendencies (we love shared trauma🥺)

Slow burn couple

Compliment each other personalities (very black cat and golden retriever vibes)

BONDAGE

Also very How to Train Your Own Percy coded (rewards via blue food and walks help✅)

5th Place: Loki (lost a lot of points with the recent murder attempt but gained some aura points for saving his girl from being 🍇ed by her uncle so be lucky u made it to 5th)

Been on MULTIPLE dates (dinner in Valhalla, sleepover in Asgard, braiding each other's hair, trip to Scandinavia (even tho it was brief lol), etc.)

Knows most of her more important secrets

Personally crafted a life sized doll in her image (even when she's not around he's thinking about her🥺)

6th Place: Apollo

Been on ONE date

Is an honest and genuine guy

Can't and won't lie to her (we all need a partner like this)

Things she's beautiful no matter what state he sees her in (it's mostly angry or irritated)

7th Place: Cu Chulainn (TBD)

Not much known yet but I predict he will be an ass at first but his shittiness grows on u (like a situationship that was only supposed to last months but lasted years instead 😭)

Little enemies to lovers (they have fun bantering w each other)

I LOVE THE LITTLE SUMMARIES OF EACH SHIP 😭😭😭

especially the beelzebub one!!! let me just add that they used to go on WEEKLY dates together!!!

so the ones i wrote about are just a few of them, there are actually many more that happen off-screen (cuz you know, i gotta focus on the plot) so yeah, since beel used to be her caretaker for months now and they go to "dates" on midgard once a week (unless percy misbehaves during class or scores low on exams lol; the midgard dates are her rewards for being "good" so yeah), they've been on at least more than ten dates

(they're actually really not dates to percy, she just thinks it's two besties hanging out, but to beel??? oh yes they are DEFINITELY dates)

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Black Reader - Volunteer

Summary - Ruben wants to celebrate Man City winning another PL title. However, Reader won't be able to join him.

Enjoy!

You thought that your life would change, dating someone like Ruben Dias. Although there were some drastic changes, mainly the sudden invasion of privacy from strangers claiming to know and judging everything about you. Other than that, your life was normal.

You were even able to keep your day job as a middle school teacher, at least up until the point that it became irrational for you to take as many days off as you did when traveling with Ruben to his many away games. Although your hours as a teacher were reduced by quitting your job, you never forgot where you came from and always went back to volunteering whenever they needed you. Like this weekend, for instance.

The summer holidays were closing in. Although most children were looking forward to it, others, less fortunate kids, dread the feeling of being trapped at home without anywhere to go for ten weeks. Especially children from troubled backgrounds where their parents were known alcoholics.

In this case, the school always used the last days of the term to cheer up the children with fun activities, sponsored by the local churches and volunteers like yourself signing up to help out.

"If we win the league, I'm taking you to Ibiza."

"If you win?" You giggled. Ruben came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth. He was so eager to start the last game of the season for Man City. Today was the day his team could make Premier league history by becoming the first team to secure four back to back titles.

"Yes, if we win. Nothing is for certain." He said, darting his toothbrush at you.

You shook your head. Ruben was just being daft. City would win their game today against West Ham, and they would win it easily.

A few hours later, as you watch the refeee blow the final whistle, Manchester City were champions once again.

"Baby, what did I say!" Ruben cheered. "Start packing your fucking bags."

It was hysterical. The scenes at the Ethiad stadium were very hysterical, with fans invading the pitch from all directions. You were a little afraid to step onto it yourself. However, Ruben would be very disappointed if you didn't. In the joyous state that he was in, he would've probably climbed the stands and carried you onto the pitch himself.

"Did I tell you how much I fucking love you?" Ruben pressed a wet kiss to your forhead before running off with his teammates, all of them celebrating like a pack of hooligans. It was all very hysterical and brilliant at the same time.

"I can't find my mommy."

Walking around the pitch, taking it all in, how happy and proud Ruben must be of himself and his teammates, you suddenly bumped into a child who seemed a bit dissoriented and anxious to be reunited with his parents.

"Have you lost your mother?" You asked, kneeling down to be at eye level with the boy.

"Yes, I think she went with daddy?"

"Alright, let's go find mommy and daddy then. Would you like that?"

The boy nodded and felt safe enough to accept your offer to hold his hand.

"Oh my God, Rome!"

It didn't take long for you to find out who the child belonged to. You had practically been looking for each other.

"Shit Y/N, you found him."

"He actually found me." You smiled and watched Kevin de Bruyne reunite with his son.

"I don't know how to thank you. Michele was so worried."

"All is well now."

"Yeah, thanks to you."

It was something, seeing a father's relief. Sometimes you wonder if Ruben would be like that, a caring father?

"Will we see you tonight?" Kevin asked, little Rome in his arms.

"Tonight?"

"Yes, for the celebration party?"

"Oh, that." It sounded fun, truly. But you had a long week ahead, starting tomorrow.

You had to get to the school early to help the other volunteers set everything up. You explained this to Kevin, who seemed to understand.

"To be honest, I'm not one for parties either. It's sounds like fun, volunteering."

"You should try it." You said. And with that, Kevin left to find his wife and their other children while you went to collect an ecstatic Ruben before he hurt himself.

"What do you mean you're not coming with me to the party?"

Unlike Kevin, Ruben didn't take the news as well. The two of you returned home, with Ruben noticing that you weren't getting ready to go out, like him.

"Well, I have to get up early tomorrow."

"So?"

"Ruben? "

"Come on baby, it's not everyday I win a championship?"

"Four in a row, Ruben. You've literally won four in a row." And you had been there to witness two of them.

He grinned. "Isn't it lovely?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Come on, baby." Ruben trailed your steps through the apartment. "What about Ibiza, we leave right after the City parade. Please tell me you're coming with me to that?"

"The parade, or Ibiza?"

"You're kidding me right?"

"Ruben." You sighed. "I've told you how important volunteering for the kids is to me."

"But won't there be other volunteers?"

"No, Ruben, they're gonna need all hands on deck, we're already very short staffed."

"Because the school is so run down. Why would anyone want to volunteer there?"

You paused, mouth wide open.

"What?"

"I can't believe you just said that."

"It's the truth."

"Ruben, that school has been there for all my life. I grew up going to that school." You felt yourself getting rallied up. How could Ruben be so stubborn about this when he knew how important your job was to you?

"Okay, look...." He whipped out his phone in one last attempt to win you over. "Just give me the number of the principal, and I'll make sure to forward a nice little donation to the school, of course in the return that you will come with me to Ibiza. There, problem solved."

"No, Ruben!" You groand. "The only problem I have right now is you not hearing me out."

"Come on baby, let's not fight. The car will be here in a minute."

"Ruben! Do you even hear yourself right now? I get wanting to celebrate with your teammates, but you're gonna have to accept the fact that I'm NOT coming with you!"

That seemed to do it.

That was the end of the shouting.

Disappointed, Ruben left for the party without you. And you went to bed with a headache that would last all week.

It was only around Wednesday that you no longer thought of your heated argument with Ruben. By then, the title celebrations in England were over, with Ruben hopping on a plane to take him and his friends straight to Ibiza.

Perhaps it was for the best that you spent sometime apart. You were too emerged in your volunteer work anyway.

"Miss Y/N, can you go on the waterslide with me? I'm scared."

"Scared?"

With the church donations, the school was able to set up a blow-up waterslide. All children seemed to enjoy it, although you admit that the construction looked very steep.

"Yes, I'm scared so will you ride it with me?"

"Erm....I don't know Nelson. I didn't bring any swimwear."

"Oh, okay." The boy muttered.

"I'll go with you on the slide."

The boy gasped, eyes wide as he perked up. "Kevin de Bruyne!"

You snapped your head back and were equally surprised. "Kevin? What are you...."

"Hey everyone, it's Kevin de Bruyne!" Nelson shouted, alerting a flock of children to head your way.

Kevin smiled. "Ruben forwarded the address and said you might need a hand."

"He did?"

Cheering children cane running towards you, and soon Kevin was ambushed by all of them.

Behind him was his wife, Michele, and their kids. "I guess my kids better hurry up and get on the slide now, while my husband distracts the others." She smiled.

"Um...help yourself." You stammered, not really sure how this came to be.

"Y/N?"

And as if things weren't strange enough, John Stones and Kyle Walker came walking through the school gates. They had also brought along their families. "Ruben promised there would be food." Kyle said.

"Um, there is." You pointed towards the table next to the grill.

"Great. Kids, run along. Daddy has to eat."

"I'm sorry about him." John smiled, giving you a hug. "It was all pretty last minute of Ruben to invite us. I didn't even know that the two of you were volunteers."

"Neither did I." You frowned. "You said Ruben invited you?"

"Yeah." John nodded. "I think he messaged everyone in the Man City group chat. The rest are probably on their way."

"The rest?" You looked to the gates, and indeed, some very nice cars were seen pulling up to the school parking lot. You recognized everyone of Ruben's teammates, including their family's. Even some of the City staff members were seen entering the school yard.

"I think we're gonna need more food." The principal, who appeared behind you, said. She looked more excited than anxious, peering her head to see who was next to walk through the gates. Your heart skipped at the sight of him, Ruben, carrying the child of his teammate Bernardo Silva.

"I know he is your sagnificant other..." The principal said as the two of you watched Ruben make his way over. "But I figured he'd be too busy with the celebrations of winning the league. I didn't want to come off as too forward by asking you to invite him. You know....for the children."

"Right."

"I'm glad you did it anyway."

"I actually...didn't." You turned around to see that the principal was gone. She had joined the children to watch Kevin de Bruyne go down the water slide.

"I think that's everyone?"

You turned around to find Ruben and Bernardo standing before you. They were looking around the crowded school yard, kids mixed with the newly crowned title winners. It was surreal, with everyone, even the volunteers looking to enjoy themselves.

"It's a good thing you got going here." Bernardo said, unhanding Ruben his child. "Make sure to invite us to the next one."

"Um...sure." You stammered, to which Ruben smiled. The two of you were left standing. Ruben towering over you like a tree. He stretched out his arms. "Suprise."

A smiled crept your face. You gave in, stepping forward to let him warp his giant arms around you.

"What about Ibiza?" You said, tilting your head.

Ruben looked down, eyes beaming brightly at you. "I was wrong, and you we right, I'm sorry."

You smiled. "Thank you."

He bent down, capturing your lips with his own. "You're there for my important stuff." He whispered. "It's only right that I should be there for your important stuff too."

"Oh, Ruben."

He kissed you again, assuring you that he was indeed in it for the long hall.

[mikkeneko]

On that other post I made about “you do not have the obligation or the right to control how other people engage with media,” one of the examples I listed was “people are consuming media they’re too old for/people are consuming media they’re too young for.” And one comment I see popping up in the notes of that post is some variation of “I mostly agree with this post, except for the point about kids consuming media they’re too young for. Obviously I’m against that.”

And I feel like this is one of those points that freedom-to-read has conceded too easily, the right of young readers thrown under the bus because OBVIOUSLY we’re against minors being able to access inappropriate things! OBVIOUSLY we don’t want to expose THE KIDS to THE TERRIBLE THINGS. Obviously, we still have to protect people from content they’re too young for!

We don’t.

And I could fill in here a standard argument about how queer resources are always going to be up-rated when it comes to age restrictions because of how they’re viewed as inherently more adult/sexual/inappropriate than their cishet counterparts, and how this blocks queer kids from getting the resources they need, and that would all be true, of course.

But we don’t need to Protect The Kids From The Bad Books in the broader scale either!

There’s a long rambling essay to be had here about my own experiences as a kid reading media that was considered ‘not age appropriate’ for me, and how for the most part it was all stuff I was fine with (Lord of the Rings, Clan of the Cave Bear) and on a few occasions it was stuff I wasn’t  fine with (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Candyman) and it upset me and I wished I hadn’t seen it. But what it ultimately comes down to is this:

Kids need to be able to learn where their limits are, and they need to be able to set their own boundaries, as a part of learning to be an adult. And part of the process of learning to do that  is to come up against stuff that’s outside  their limits, and stepping back from it. And they can’t do that if they’re being artificially restricted from mature content.

A certain amount of upsetting experience is part of this process,  and it doesn’t need to be traumatizing if  the kid in question has control over their own engagement. Frankly I can’t think of a single more gentle and controllable way to test their limits than in a book, where there are no images, no sounds, and the kid can disengage at absolutely any time simply by closing the book.

They have to learn to draw their own borders sometime. Let them learn at their own pace.

Would it be better if kids had trusted adults in their lives guiding them through mature content, who intimately understand the kid’s sensitivity level and can recommend appropriate materials, and provide a supportive framework for working through material that turns out to be upsetting? Sure. Absolutely every kid in the world deserves an understanding, compassionate and supportive adult. But since we can’t legislate the existence of good parents, the absolute least  we can do is allow kids the freedom to control their own choices.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Ok, I’m arguing with someone about the Todoroki family, and like I get there maybe some responsibility on Rei’s shoulders as a parent. However, they’re saying Rei was abusive towards Enji, that she abused him and her being aggressive and constantly yelling is what changed him. They said he was a victim turned abuser, and that his family emotionally abused him. Did Rei abuse him? Was he emotionally abused by his family? Like the situation was a spiral I guess but in no way did it give off that he was the victim of the family situation???

Tell them to reread the manga. In the best way possible, really. I probably have to reread the manga too because I don't remember all that well the whole Todofam drama, but here I go:

Long post, beware!!!!! ;)

For what I know, Enji's trauma started with the death of his father. That's what motivated him to become a hero. After that, he got blinded by his perfectionism and his jealousy towards All Might.

The only reason the Todofam exists is because Enji wanted a child with both fire and ice quirks. That's why he proposed to Rei. The Himuras were very old-fashioned, in the sense that they didn't even like their members marrying outside of the family so as to not stain their names. Their quirks got weaker with time, they started losing money and influence. That's when Enji arrived: he'd give money to the Himuras if Rei were to marry him.

Now, Rei's trauma comes from her family and the ways of the Himuras. Her trauma didn't start with Enji, but it surely intensified with it.

Attempting to create a quirks through arranged marriages is a dangerous dangerous thing to do. We see a doctor telling that to both Enji and Rei. They were aware of that. The problem with the union of Enji and Rei is that, even if there was love at the beginning —even if— it depended solely on the quirks of the children. A man who willingly pushes away his children because they don't have the quirk he wants and that forces their mother to raise them alone— that's not a good husband or father, you know?

Rei was there to provide him with children and to take care of them. It sounds more like she was an employee than her wife. It was abuse right from the start, okay?

Rei did what he asked. Birthed his children and took care of them. She was submissive at first. Went along with his plans. You know the drill.

When it was revealed that Touya's body couldn't handle the heat of his flames, that's when things got ugly. They knew the risk, it shouldn't have been a surprise. At that point, Enji had put a lot of pressure and expectations on little Touya. He filled the kid's head with lies, made Touya value himself only by his dad's expectations. Touya was born for one reason alone and he had been living for it and it was killing him.

Rei saw that. Enji saw that.

Both tried to do damage control and backtrack, but Touya was too smart. While they told Touya he could live his life as something else than the hero his father wanted, he knew that it made him a failure in their eyes. The stress of destroying her children's lives got to both Rei and Enji. It wasn't something intangible. It was their son burning alive right before their eyes. It was their son telling Rei the truth of her marriage to her face.

Let's be honest here, Rei was one step away from being a slave. She married Enji to save her family and damned children in the process.

I think in order to properly understand Rei's role in the whole drama, you need to consider certain cultural aspects. Like how women are viewed in Japan, what is expected from them once they get married, the power a husband has over his wife, how women get economically trapped by men in relationships all the time... I'm not an expert on those aspects, but it's worth mentioning them.

Now, back to Rei and Enji.

Rei started "fighting" Enji after Touya was fully deemed a failure. You can see that she didn't like the idea of another child, especially because it'd be terrible for Touya's wellbeing. It'd confirm he was not enough. Still, she went along with Enji's plan. It was not a happy house. Enji was acting more and more aggressively, Rei was more and more nervous. Shouto was born and Touya tried to kill him— he didn't want to be replaced, he did not want to lose his place at home.

It started building. what happened to Touya was not confined to Sekoto Peak. It was years in the making, that tragedy. I can only imagine how Rei felt when she got the news. She had begged her son to stay, but her submissive role couldn't save him. It wouldn't be enough.

Touya dies. Enji spirals.

Horikoshi is careful to draw Rei terrified. She tells ugly truths to Enji's face. Is that abuse? Is it abuse if a woman who's being treated like an employee and who had to watch her husband traumatize their kids screams at said man? We know that Enji was physically abusive with Shouto and that he even went against Rei, which made Shout stand up to him to stop him from hurting his mom.

The only reason why Rei had a mental breakdown (freaking diagnosed) is because the very eyes of Enji were enough to make her shake and want to defend herself physically.

It's obvious she was scared for her life. It's even more obvious she was convinced he would hurt her. She was terrified of her own children 'cause they looked like him.

Rei was definitely not the best mother. She didn't deserve to reach that level of abuse, tho.

What made Endeavor be like that is the violence of the society he grew up in and his very own competitiveness and low self-esteem. Then the consequences of his own actions. For All Might and Deku to feel like they need to protect Shouto from Endeavor? For Rei to rather be in a mental hospital than at home? For Touya to go back and decide he didn't want to be alive?

He is textually treated like a villain in the manga. At least at first.

Even if Rei confronting Enji caused him some psychological damage, it's the same as saying that a criminal got physiological trauma from committing his crimes. Saying Rei was the one who made him like that is awful victim blaming.

Enji created all those situations himself. I guess that's why Rei reminds him at the hospitals that he doesn't get to play the "poor me" role, when they all have been dealing with the hurt of what happened to their family.

Later, Endeavor acknowledges it himself. He takes responsibility for it, stops feeling pity for himself and decides to do something about it. Namely, puts his life on the line to solve the issue with the Todorokis. You know how fire is known for its purifying properties? You can say that the Todofam burning together gave them a second chance, somehow.

Their resolution involved Rei taking an active role in saving Touya (same with Fuyumi and Natsuo), while Enji put himself at the service of the son he always ignored and mistreated. I didn't write it, it was all Horikoshi.

So again, kindly tell the other person to reread the manga and then you both can engage in that discussion again. As it is, I doubt it'd reach any productive term.

Hope this answer satisfies you, anon!!!!!

[afewproblems]

Part Three Mean!Eddie Misunderstandings AU

Part One, Part Two, read on Ao3 Here

Thank you everyone for your patience, I am splitting up this last part into two (I know, I know - I'm sorry!!)

***

 The drive home after dropping Robin off was long. She had offered to stay the night again but Steve insisted she go home unless she wanted her parents to throw them and impromptu engagement party after she eventually graduates --Steve still winces when he thinks about Mrs.Buckley cooing about what sweet babies they would make when she thought he had left the other night. 

He pulls into the empty driveway and shuts off the Beemer’s engine; it feels criminal for the sun to still be at full force at this time but at least he's been able to avoid the heat for most of the day. 

And say what you will about the Harringtons, but at least they had invested in AC before skipping town without him.

Once inside Steve hangs his keys on the hook beside the door and heads upstairs to change. He just wants to crawl into bed, hide himself under the covers and sleep after the day he's had. 

Robin did her best to give him a pep talk after their run in with Eddie at Family Video but it had mostly consisted of her brainstorming how to shave his head without implicating themselves. 

It made Steve laugh despite arguing that Eddie's hair was his third best feature and Steve is fairly certain he would be second in line to avenge it next to Eddie.

Steve throws on an old pair of pajamas and a ratty Hawkins high t-shirt from the floor beside his laundry basket. He sniffs it dubiously and throws it on, it could go another day without a wash --it's just him tonight anyway. 

Alone again.

Steve makes his way downstairs and debates a frozen pizza or the leftovers in the Tupperware Mrs.Henderson had forced into his hands before he left their house the other night. 

He'd picked up a lot of recipes from Claudia and learned different ways to stretch an ingredient across multiple meals or even make a single meal last multiple days -with his parents gone so often it had been crucial for him to learn. Steve isn't even sure where they are at this point or if they know about the earthquakes. 

A small part of him hopes they don't know, because if they did and still haven't called or come back to Hawkins to check on him….

Steve quells that line of thought and tosses it into the little box in the corner of his mind. 

Don't think about it. 

Steve rolls his shoulders and opens the fridge before taking out the tupperware and grabbing a plate from the cupboard.

The sudden sound of tires crunching and an engine turning off outside has him looking towards the front entryway, it's definitely in his driveway, but he isn't expecting anyone?

Oh god…what if it's Hopper or Nancy? Another gate? If Vecna's back, they needed him. 

Steve nearly drops the plate in his hands in his haste to get to the door, he manages to put it on the counter before sliding over the hardwood floor as he stumbles into the foyer. 

Steve flings open the door to reveal a nervous Eddie Munson on his doorstep.

"Eddie?" Steve says, his voice pitched with surprise and concern, he looks around for any sign of one of the other kids, "What is it? Is it Vecna? Is anyone hurt?"

Eddie blinks, his eyebrows pop up into his scruffy bangs, "What? No, no man, it's just me".

Steve breathes out a sharp sigh of relief and lets his heart rate slowly calm down, but if it wasn't the Upside Down why the hell was Eddie here? 

Contrary to popular opinion, Steve wasn't actually stupid, he knew Eddie wouldn't just be here for him, he'd made it perfectly clear that they weren't friends.

"Oh," Steve mumbles, still confused, "did you leave something here the other night?"

Eddie tilts his head slightly and his eyebrows fall into the barest furrow, "No Steve, I just, can I come inside?" 

His right hand twitches once before reaching for the door frame as he steps forward.

A million questions nearly burst forth from Steve, what do you want? Did the kids put you up to this? Are you going to say it to my face this time? What do you want from me?

He wrenches them back, shoving them all into that same little box, and instead says, "yeah man," as he steps aside to let Eddie through.

Eddie grins but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, the anxious feeling in Steve's gut, twisting and cold, begins to build again.

All at once Steve is incredibly aware of the fact that he's wearing pajamas and a dirty old t-shirt, he's sweaty and tired from a long day at work and he doesn't have the emotional fortitude to be told off again.

"Hey, Eddie, listen," Steve fumbles through the words, he reaches up to pinch his fingers into his eyes, "if this is about Hellfire, I'll back off, I didn’t mean to," he stops and swallows, searching for what to say. 

Because, what did he even do? It's still not clear and the thought makes him want to grind his teeth.

"To like, interfere with your set up? Or, or, actually, you know what,” Steve's voice suddenly climbs in volume, "I don't know, what did I do Munson?"

Steve raises his hands from his eyes to his hair which he grips harshly with one hand while the other gestures wildly in front of him.

"Why are you here? Why did you come to Family Video,” Steve shakes his head and chews harshly on his bottom lip, “if you hate me, I don't understand why you keep coming around?" 

Eddie is frozen in front of him, a ‘deer in the headlights’ look in his eye, his mouth opens once and closes, but Steve keeps going.

"I mean, was this just some kind of weird game to you? Let's see how much we can stick it to old King-Steve? I heard you that night man," his eyes begin to sting as he yells, his throat tightens and the words waver slightly at the end. 

Steve grits his teeth to keep himself from speaking, from revealing more than he wants to, he hasn't felt like this since Nancy called him Bullshit in the middle of that crowded Halloween party and isn't that thought a punch to the gut.

Steve shakes his head and turns his face away to pinch his nose so harshly he worries it'll bruise.

"So," Steve whispers, letting the fight drain out of him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, "what do you want, because I am not really up for whatever this is". 

Eddie isn't looking at him anymore, his face is pointed at Steve but his eyes are trained on a point on the floor between them, his eyebrows furrowed.

Unbelievable.

"Look," Steve breathes out, he reaches up and presses the fingers of his left hand into his eyes, surreptitiously wiping away any evidence of moisture, and gestures behind him at the foyer, "if you want something just spit it out, otherwise I'm tired and I'm going to bed so--"

"I'm sorry" Eddie blurts out, he takes a step closer to Steve who steps back without a thought. Eddie winces at the movement and draws his arms around himself.

Eddie seems to hesitate, his eyes dart over Steve's face and once towards the front door before his expression flattens and his shoulders square in one fluid movement. 

Steve's stomach does a little swoop as he remembers that Eddie nearly sacrificed himself to save Dustin, he wonders if his face held the same expression before he cut the rope.

"I'm sorry for what I said, I," Eddie swallows audibly and shifts his weight from foot to foot, "I was so sure of something for a really long time and it made me act like an ass". 

"Sure of what?" Steve says, his voice nearly a whisper.

"How much do you remember about me from school?" Eddie murmurs eventually, there's a slight tremor running through his hands which tighten their grip on the sides of his jean vest until his knuckles stain white.

Steve shakes his head, there wasn’t much, but by the time he had heard whispers of the name Munson, he had been dealing with Hargrove, and Nancy, and Dustin's attempts at rehabilitating a demo-dog --he'd had more than enough on his plate at the time to worry about some metal-head that stood on tables in the school cafeteria. 

Eddie's breathing stops and starts in short shallow hitching breaths and his face grows even paler than normal, he looks like he's seconds from passing out if Steve is being honest with himself. 

Fuck.

"Hey, hey Eddie, come on breathe man," Steve says sharply, he moves quickly, keeping his hands up ready to catch him, just in case, as Steve leads Eddie towards the kitchen. 

He helps Eddie sit down on a stool by the counter ledge and grabs a glass from the cupboard. Steve flits around the kitchen, distracting himself with getting Eddie water and a cool damp washcloth which he drapes over the back of his neck.

Eddie lets his head droop slightly with the weight of the towel and scoffs, muttering something under his breath; Steve's hackles raise of their own accord as he steps away from him.

"I'm just trying to help man, Jesus," he bites out, resisting the impressive urge to throw the other man out. Steve leans against the wall opposite Eddie instead and scowls. 

"Christ," Eddie snaps as he grabs the cloth and brings it around to wipe his face, "I said, I can't believe I thought you were a Grade-A asshole".

Steve suppresses a flinch at the title, the tightness in his chest returns at full force.

"Thanks," Eddie mumbles, slumping in his seat as the anger seems to drain out of him. Eddie closes his eyes, holding up the towel, "how did you know that would help?" 

He reaches for the glass in front of him, the slight tremble of his fingers the only remaining sign of Eddie's panic.

Steve shrugs, a small part of him wants to tell Eddie about the Russians.

How his sense of touch almost always helped to snap him out of an episode, whether it was Robin’s small warm hand on his cheek when things got too much, or a cool wet washcloth to wipe away the sweat from his brow after a waking nightmare. It was grounding, bringing him back to the present quicker than any other method he and Robin have tried in the last year or so since recovering from their time underneath Starcourt.

Steve’s not quite ready for that conversation though.

Eddie's watching, analyzing him the way Robin does sometimes and Steve realizes he must have been quiet for awhile, Eddie’s big brown eyes trace over Steve questioningly, but he keeps his mouth shut for now. 

"You want to talk about it?" Steve says slowly, changing the subject. He half expects Eddie to tell him to shove it and get up from the stool to leave, pretending this conversation never took place. 

He doesn't though.

Instead Eddie drops the towel on the counter and brings both of his hands to his face. He sits there, hunched for almost a minute solid before letting them drop back into his lap.

Eddie doesn't look at Steve as he starts to speak.

"I've lived with my uncle for a very long time," he says softly, the words almost too quiet for Steve to make out at first, "I moved in with him just before highschool". 

Eddie swallows and licks his lips, "I told you a little bit about my dad already yeah?" 

He raises his eyes to finally look at Steve, who nods again. It feels wrong to speak, like he would be interrupting.

"Well, he wasn't arrested till after I was in Hawkins, but I don't think I really felt safe until the day Wayne got that call". 

Steve's stomach abruptly falls into his shoes. 

Sure, Eddie's story about learning to hot wire had made Steve pause but he hadn't really thought more about that story beyond the ease with which Eddie brought the vehicle to life. He feels his chest twinge with shame this time and steps closer.

"Apparently," Eddie continues, slowly, carefully, "Billy Hargrove had taken it upon himself to tell everyone he could about me and my shitty fuckin' family".

"That uh," Eddie's wary eyes flick up at Steve once more, his expression tight, "that my dad kicked me out, woulda killed me if he could've".

Steve feels a chill roll up his spine at the words.

“And he wasn’t wrong, got all the details right somehow, even the one about me liking--" he trails off before wiping his left hand down his face while the right reaches for the towel again and begins fiddling with it.

Steve makes a noise, something soft and understanding, he takes a step closer to the counter, halting as Eddie looks up with open panic.

"But," Eddie continues with watchful eyes, "up until a few hours ago, I thought…you had done that".

And that is the last straw.

Steve doesn't think this time when he moves, he steps up to Eddie and before he can even open his mouth or flinch Steve has him wrapped in his arms.

It's awkward with Eddie still seated on the stool, his face pressed into Steve's collarbone, but he’s tense and Steve knows he's stopped breathing altogether. 

"I'm sorry about your dad," Steve murmurs into the top of Eddie's wild hair, and he is. Steve knows exactly what it's like to have a dad that uses violence to get his way, that screams first and asks questions later.

Eddie shakes his head once, an incredulous expression pulls at his brow as he leans back slightly to look Steve up and down once more before he grins sharply.

"Yeah well," Eddie hums, "I'm sure he wasn't planning on having a fag for a kid".

Steve pulls away abruptly, but keeps his arms around Eddie's shoulders, his face briefly twisting into a harsh scowl. Steve doesn't catch the terror that flits across Eddie's face as he stands up to his full height.

"Don't call yourself that," Steve says harshly, "and don't use that word around Robin and the kids".

He lets go of Eddie entirely, and begins to pace, "Your dad is a piece of shit, who didn't deserve you and Billy Hargrove is lucky he's dead," Steve growls lowly, he takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before releasing it slowly through his nose, he needed to calm down.

Like he said, Billy was dead, and the senior Munson was in some prison somewhere where he couldn't get to Eddie anyway, and not every problem required the use of his fists, Robin's words echo in his ear. 

"What?" Eddie blurts out, surprise painting his face. He cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes at Steve as though he's never seen him before. 

But there's a fire in Steve that has been burning for three years, ever since he tried to apologize to Jonathan and Nancy the very first time, and the flames burned even brighter a year ago when he stopped to take in Robin's pale, desperate, face as she told him about Tammy.  

"And I know Hawkins is shit, trust me," Steve growls, he steps into Eddie's space again, "but there are people here who believe that there is nothing wrong with you, got it? You have us now".

"I, I know," Eddie mumbles, he's still watching Steve with something akin to awe in his eyes but it disappears as quickly as Steve spots it.

"Thank you," Steve says eventually, "for telling me, sorry if I freaked you out just now".

It's quiet in the kitchen for a beat, the only noise is the steady tick of the large wall clock beside the pantry and the hum of cicadas from outside the kitchen window Steve had forgotten to close that morning.

Steve nervously chews his lip, he's ruined it again, his second attempts at being cool about someone coming out to him even worse than the first. Robin had been nice about it at the time -and admittedly neither of them could quite remember the bulk of the conversation, but he does remember telling Robin her first crush was a dud and sounded like a dying Muppet. 

So, he was two for two.

"You're sorry?" Eddie finally croaks, his eyes are larger than Steve has ever seen him and his chest stutters once as he breathes rapidly.

Steve reaches for the discarded cloth on the counter just to keep his hands from reaching for Eddie. 

"You're sorry?" Eddie says again, his voice barely a whisper, "you're unbelievable is what you are".

Oh. 

Steve sighs and blinks once, twice, before closing his eyes, "I know".

"Shut up," Eddie barks, "I'm the one who is trying to apologize and you're being so--"

"I know--"

"No! Let me fucking talk Harrington," Eddie shouts, and Steve feels his teeth click as he snaps his mouth shut.

He braces himself, better to get it all out on the table now, he thinks, let him say his piece and then they can all just move on -he can move on. 

"I don't think I ever understood you, how you fit in with this whole group," Eddie mutters, his face tipped towards the floor, he brushes a handful of curls away from his face as they slide forward.

"I mean, I watched you in action, you ripped a fucking bat in half man," he laughs but his expression is shuttered, almost blank as he counts off on his ringed fingers, "you carried me out of hell, you listen to all the shit the kids say when they tell you stories, do you know how many people would just tune them out? You cooked for my uncle, you--Robin is your best friend? Robin?" 

"Hey,” Steve says sharply with a glare, “layoff Robin, what are you even saying?"

"See!” Eddie throws his hands towards Steve emphatically, a wild look in his eyes,”that's what I’m talking about! Thats, it’s--okay it’s not coming out right," Eddie stands up from the stool but stays beside the counter. 

He huffs out a small quiet laugh and shakes his head, his eyes never once leaving Steve’s face, "you're just, you're not who I thought man".

Steve crosses his arms, wrapping them tightly around his midsection and the Hawkins high logo in faded orange print,"I thought we already had this conversation?"

"Yeah well, I actually mean it this time".

"...Right,” Steve sighs tiredly, it's laughable really, just how wrong he and Robin had been. 

All that time he thought they were growing closer, that Eddie had been his friend. 

All those small moments over the last few months were nothing. Just two people with vastly different expectations of what they meant to one another. 

Eddie’s face twists as the words tumble out at a mile a minute, "no, fuck, Steve, I can't, just--I don't," he grabs two handfuls of hair and yanks, hard, "I came here to tell you that I'm sorry, and I'm fucking it up.”

Eddie takes a deep breath before letting it all out in one smooth motion, "you're amazing, Steve, and I'm kicking myself for not seeing that before”.

He takes a step towards Steve but hesitates,spinning the rings on his fingers.

“I’m just, I’m really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me, that we can get back to where we were before?”

Steve feels himself smile mechanically, his chest tight and cold, he nods once and hears the words, 'yeah man,' leave his mouth. It's as though he's in a fog, everything feels so far away.

The smile Eddie gives him is brilliant, bright enough to light up the kitchen but Steve turns away and sweeps a tremulous hand through his hair. 

"Yeah, Eds, we'll see each other around, we're good".

Eddie's smile falters slightly, but Steve is determined to end this conversation, go upstairs and crawl into bed for a millennia,

"I'll put in a good word with Mrs. Henderson," Steve continues, gesturing towards the abandoned tupperware on the counter, "I think she'd listen if I told her you guys needed a place for Dusty-Bun's club".

Eddie's face falls slightly, "What, Steve--" 

"It'll be great, Claudia makes the best snacks and she honestly has a better basement than the Wheelers --but don't ever say that to Mike or you'll never hear the end of it," Steve says with a half smile as he walks towards the counter to grab the tupperware, he lifts it up to show Eddie before he reaches for the fridge door to put it away.

He's not hungry anymore anyway. 

"But…" Eddie whispers, the tone catches Steve's attention but he can't look at Eddie right now, he just wants to sleep.

"I mean, you could come, you know," Eddie clears his throat and moves, the sound of fabric and shoes scuffing across hardwood makes Steve finally look up.

Eddie is beside him, his expression equal parts wary but hopeful, his big brown eyes fixed on Steve.

I thought Hell would freeze over? Steve thinks to himself angrily before biting the inside of his cheek. 

They've just reached some kind of truce, Eddie apologized for fucks sake, he should just let this go. 

But there is a heat now that simmers in his chest, it makes him want to scream. Steve swallows roughly and pushes the feeling down, trying his best to smother the flames into embers before they engulf him completely.

If friendship is all he is allowed, then Steve can work with that, he just has to reign things in a bit. He’s been playing fast and loose with his heart for so long and that it's become a dangerous game.

"Yeah, sure, I can," Steve mumbles tiredly, "I just have to check my schedule, Keith's been keeping me on my toes lately". 

He shrugs and gives Eddie a wane smile before clearing his throat and turning away, "anyways man, I'm beat".

Steve moves towards the opposite hallway, he feels like he's escaping.

Eddie stands in the kitchen, shoulders drooped, but he nods and stuffs his hands into his pockets. He takes a step towards the foyer before turning sharply around.

"Harring- Steve," Eddie winces, "Steve, I also wanted to say we're sorry about the table, we didn't mean to scratch it all to hell that night and," he swallows roughly, "I can, we can chip in to…help fix it or whatever". 

But Steve is already shaking his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips, "it's cracked actually--"

"What?!"

"No, no," Steve cuts in, he waves his hand to sweep away the panic in Eddie's voice, "Sorry, it's been cracked for awhile, you guys didn't have anything to do with it".

Eddie deflates in obvious relief, he laughs brightly, letting the last of his nervous energy flow out in a cackle.

"Fuck man, thank God, I definitely do not have the money to fix that shit," Eddie sweeps his hands into his curls to pull them away from his face, "why's it still cracked?"

Steve shrugs, "No one's bothered with it before, easier to just leave it I guess," he breathes out sharply through his nose in something like a laugh, "I wouldn't know how to fix it if I tried, never been good at woodworking". 

Steve looks back at Eddie to find him staring, his eyebrows have pinched together and gone is the smile that shone nearly as much as the rings on his hands. 

"Anyway, I'll see you around man," Steve hums, he doesn't need Eddie analyzing him, seeing something in him that he shouldn't. It’s a dismissal, one that Eddie seems to take well, despite the stiffness of his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'll see ya," Eddie says softly over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the kitchen, back towards the front door.

Steve waits until the door has closed, until he hears gravel under tires, until he's sure that Eddie is gone. His chest tightens once more with hot blistering anger that builds in his stomach before overflowing into his chest.

It drives him forward, the anger, the overwhelming heat building up his neck and pounding in his head, he's at the counter all of a sudden.

The plate he was going to use for supper is in his hands.

He raises it over his head and brings it down in a satisfying clash of shattered ceramic that explodes all over the hardwood.

Steve stands there, breathing raggedy in a daze.

Fuck.

The floor is covered in shards of varying sizes, he realizes belatedly he's only wearing socks but the thoughts come slow as though dragging themselves through mud. 

Steve steps over the ceramic and walks to the pantry, he removes the broom and dustpan from the small hanger on the inside of the door.

Steve begins to sweep up the shards into a little pile, wincing as a few pieces here and there cut through the fabric of his socks and into the soles of his feet.

Steve doesn't realize he's crying until he sees the tears drop into the pile of plate shards and dust. Steve scrubs his arm over his eyes roughly and sniffs, his lungs stutter once as he chokes out a wet cough. 

"Get it together," he says sharply to himself.

Steve methodically sweeps the rest of the plate into the dustpan and walks towards the sink before opening the bottom cupboard and tipping the pan into the garbage can. 

He takes off his socks and examines the bottoms, there are a few small pieces of plate but no blood -Steve counts it as a win.

Steve leaves the broom and dustpan out and walks himself and the dirty socks out of the kitchen and up the stairs back to his room, his limbs feel heavy and the steady heat that had crawled up his neck has been replaced by a bone deep exhaustion that he longs to sink into.

Steve closes his bedroom door and steps towards the bed, allowing himself to tip forward and collapse against the comforter.

It's hard to move now, everything feels sore, from the tips of his toes, and the soles of his feet, to the top of his head. It's as though someone stretched him out between their hands and twisted and twisted until there was nothing left inside of him. 

He's empty and that thought is terrifying.

Steve reaches out blindly for the phone on his bedside table, he manages to snag it by the cord and narrowly avoids smacking himself in the face as the hard plastic swings into his hands. He dials the Buckley's home number by memory and waits.

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Mrs.Buckley, can you put Robin on?"

"Of course dear, but we are going to be having dinner soon so not too long okay?"

"Yes Mrs. Buckley,"

He waits, letting his pillow cradle the phone to his ear while the muffled background noise of the Buckley household trickles through the speaker, talking and television and laughter. It's a stark contrast to his own silent home. 

"Steve?"

"Hey Bobby," he nearly whispers into the receiver, he feels himself melt into the mattress at the sound of her voice.

"Steve" Robin grumbles over the line, "I just left you like an hour ago, what's up?"

He chews on his lip and the words for a beat, considering how to even tell her, "Eddie, um, came by".

"What?!" Robin's voice squeals over the speaker and Steve almost drops the phone as he jerks it away from his ear, "what did he want? Did you let him in?"

"Yeah Bobs," he sighs tiredly, "he, he apologized--"

"Steve, we talked about this, you forgive people way too easily--"

"I know, I just…" he doesn't even know how to say it, that a rage burnt him up from the inside out until he was nothing but hollow embers and smoke.

"Robin, I was so angry," 

"Did you yell at him? What did you say?"

"No," he pushes himself up from the pillows, just catching the phone as it threatens to tumble from his shoulder, "he left, he, we talked about going back to normal, he…"

"Steve, what the hell did he say this time, you have to tell me, it's like the platonic soulmate law--"

"He didn't mean it the first time, when we talked in the Upside Down, that he thought I was a good dude, everything I thought for months has been a lie," his voice shakes as he continues, "he thought I spread this awful rumor about him back in highschool and he's never forgiven me for it, but I had no idea and I didn't do it -I know I was the fucking worst back then but Robin I promise you I didnt-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay, do you want me to come over?" 

"No, your mum said you had dinner right away,"

"Steve, you’re way more important than dinner, that's so lame but it's one thousand percent true and I'll come up with something better when I get to your house, I'm leaving now".

Steve smiles as Robin hangs up with a soft, ‘see you in a minute!’ and sets the phone back on the receiver, he closes his eyes and tucks his face into the pillows for just a moment. 

Steve wakes with a start to the sound of feet hitting the stairs two at a time, he looks over at the red numbers on his bedside clock and squints as copper sunlight hits his face through his bedroom window. It's nearly quarter after seven now and the exhaustion that had held his limbs seems to have loosened ever so slightly. 

Steve doesn't move from the bed as Robin opens his door and pads slowly across the carpet. She says nothing in greeting and crawls onto the mattress. Steve shifts slightly to let her wiggle her way in between him and the bedroom wall.

"You asshole," Robin scolds softly, but there's still a smile in her voice, "you didn't even lock your front door, anyone could have come in here".

She wraps her thin arms around him from behind and Steve feels himself melt into the embrace.

"This have anything to do with the broom and dustpan on the counter?" she continues after a beat, "you don't really strike me as the sweeping type, it was like pulling teeth getting you to do it at scoops".

"Vacuuming is better" he mumbles into his pillow.

Robin is warm behind his back, holding him steady, and he finds himself reaching for her hand draped over his chest. The easy affection soothes the remaining burn in his heart.

"I smashed a plate," Steve says so softly he can feel Robin even shuffle closer to hear him. 

She's quiet a moment, but she doesn't move away. If anything, Robin seems to drape herself over his shoulder even more, wrapping him up in a cocoon of warmth. Steve swallows roughly and turns his face further into the pillows. 

"Nothing like a good plate smash," she mumbles sagely into his ear, "I think I read that in a magazine once, buy cheap dishes so you got something to smash when things just get too much," she pauses to sit up and turn him over to face her, "or maybe it was pencils".

Steve snorts as she mimes a violent snapping motion with her hands, and finally let's himself look at her. 

Robin's smiles as his eyes meet her own, but there's still a flicker of worry behind her blue ones that she can't seem to hide. 

And she isn't the only one who is worried.

This wouldn't be the first time he's acted out because of his anger. Steve would be the first person to admit he has a history of impulsive behavior, throwing himself fist first into situations before he can properly think it through. 

He says things in the moment he regrets later. Hell, Steve vandalized private property because he was angry with Nancy for christ sakes.

But this was different, it felt different. This scared him. It was like he had taken a backseat for a moment, disengaged from the world and came back to himself surrounded by shattered ceramic and a deep feeling of shame. 

He wonders, belatedly, if this is how his father felt when he would break things, when he would scream at Steve until he was red faced and shaking, when he would slam doors and smash the flat palm of his hand into walls or dragging his heavy class ring over the previously unblemished wood surface of his grandmother's table. 

It's terrifying to think about.

"You want me to stay?" Robin whispers after a beat.

Steve breathes out sharply through his nose, "I'm sure your parents would love that," he wiggles his eyebrows and attempts a lecherous wink, laughing at the squawk Robin makes.

She grabs one of the pillows and catches him with a face full of cotton batting, "Hey, for a fake boyfriend I could do worse you perv".

It starts an all out war, Steve lets her get him into a headlock before he licks all the way up the offending arm holding him in place, she lets go with a cry of, 'Gross!' and swings the pillow into his face again.

By the end of it they're both laughing so hard they can't even sit up.

"Robin," Steve says softly. 

They're laying on the bed, Steve with his head on the pillow by the headboard and Robin laying with her head closest to the end. She nudges his ear with her toe and he jerks away with a squawk.

"Yeah?" Robin groans as she slides her elbows towards her head to prop her torso up to look at him.

He lets his eyes trace over her, this girl who can make him laugh no matter what, who seems to read his mind with little to no trouble, who is ready to loudly defend him whenever possible.

He loves her so much.

Steve shakes his head, a prickly static charge builds in his hair as it rubs against the pillow, "just, you're just the best person I know," he says eventually, "don't tell Dustin I said that, but I'm glad I met you".

Robin mimes pulling a zipper closed over her mouth and flicks away the metal pull. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are suspiciously shiny at the tender admission.

"You absolute goof, do you keep onions under your bed," she snarks after wiping her eyes with her hand, she takes her wet fingers and wipes them off on his pajamas. 

"I'm glad I met you too, and if you want to talk about," she half shrugs and tips her head towards his bedroom door, "you know, the plate thing, I'm here".

She reaches for his ankle resting next to her elbow and gives it a squeeze, "God, all the hair on your legs, it looks like you have a second set of pants on".

"Can't even be nice to me for longer than five minutes," Steve mutters as he steals the offending leg to sit up on the bed.

"I didn't bring anything," Robin says suddenly, looking over at the glaring red numbers on Steve's alarm clock on his side table, "what's a gal gotta do for some food and some pj's?"

Steve rolls his eyes and uncrosses his legs and throws them over the side of the bed, sitting up while he's at it, "you figured out a Russian spy code with your little genius ears but you couldn't snag a change of clothes before you left?"

"Hey, you called me, I came running," Robin tells him firmly, she sits up and scooches over to sit beside him with her legs draped over the edge and their thighs pressed together.

"I know Bobby, I knew you would," he says softly as she leans her head to rest on his shoulder, the weight at his side is warm and familiar and pulls a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Steve lets his head loll to the side to rest on Robin's, his limbs loose as a tension he hadn't realized had been trapped in his shoulders flows out of him.

***

Over the next few weeks things begin to ease back into some semblance of normal.

It's not easy.

Steve ends up having to trick the kids into going to the old ice cream parlor where Eddie is waiting for them to make a separate apology for their last Hellfire meeting. 

Steve insists they're fine to the four sets of  disbelieving eyes that scowl at both of them, he and Eddie have buried the hack-saw and there's nothing more to say.

"It's hatchet, Steve," Dustin says with exasperation and barely concealed glee, “you buried the hatchet, sometimes I think you say these things on purpose".

"Oh Dusy-bun," Steve hums, reaching out to catch Dustin with his arm and drag him into a loose headlock, "I absolutely do it on purpose".

It's a little awkward, Will still seems a bit wary of Eddie, but Mike, Dustin, and Lucas obviously missed their Dungeon Master.

Steve can't help the clawing guilt that sits heavy in his stomach from being at the center of their little fight, but a small irritable part of him is envious of how quickly they all fall back into step with one another without missing a beat.

"This place is alright," Lucas says once they've all settled into a hideous lime green booth with their treats, "but the butterscotch is shit compared to Scoops".

He's frowning at the half eaten cup in his hands like he's tempted to toss it right then and there.

"Ice cream is ice cream," Mike scoffs with a roll of his eyes, he reaches for the cup which Lucas snatches back just out of reach from grabby fingers.

"Hey, I never said I wouldn't finish it--"

"You're practically giving it away dude, come on!" 

Eddie smiles and seems to finally relax into his seat, he leans across the table closer to Steve and Dustin and whispers conspiratorially, "What the hell is scoops?"

"Remember Starcourt?" Dustin chirps around a mouthful of Rocky Road before Steve can say anything, "Steve worked there, and Robin, that's how they met". 

Eddie tilts his head and frowns, his eyes pan back and forth between Dustin and Steve, "the mall that burnt down?"

Steve tenses, his right hand curls into a fist beneath the table while the little wooden spoon in his left hand threatens to snap between his fingers resting on the sticky table top.

Eddie glances at him curiously before looking back to Dustin who continues to speak, oblivious to the strangers around them.

"Oh yeah, that wasn't a fire--"

"Dustin," Steve snaps, more loudly and harshly than he intends, but it catches the teens attention. Steve shakes his head once and gestures around the shop, they're one of three full tables of people but even still, their voices have been carrying all afternoon.

Dustin has the good graces to look sheepish before scowling at the ice cream in his hands, "no one's listening--"

"Not here--" Steve manages to spit out between his teeth before all four kids are arguing at the top of their voices.

"Don't yell at Dustin!" 

"No one's even in here!"

"What, we can't even talk about this with each other now?"

"Fuck off Steve--"

Steve almost laughs, it's the first time in two weeks the kids have acted like their old selves instead of walking on eggshells around him, weighing their words carefully, avoiding bringing up Eddie or Hellfire and trailing off when he enters a room.

"Hey," Eddie says sharply, "layoff your babysitter alright, Jesus Christ guys".

And suddenly the spell is broken.

Lucas slowly puts down his cup and Mike rolls his eyes but seems to deflate in his seat, leaning into Will who frowns at Eddie slightly. Dustin crosses his arms across his chest and glares with a mutinous expression at the table. 

Dammit.

"Okay, everyone relax, finish up and let's go," Steve sighs. He reaches over and tugs on Dustin's ever present cap with his right hand while the left hand, still holding his spoon, snags a little taste of Lucas's cup of butterscotch. 

All of the kids start yelling again, but this time laughter rings out as the earlier tension melts away. 

Steve looks at Eddie who smiles widely at him, relief evident in his big brown eyes; he can't stop the small grin that takes over his own face at the sight, even if it does make his chest ache. 

They leave shortly after, the kids prattle on about some sci-fi movie that's caught their eye for the next trip to the Hawk Theater. Dustin argues that sequels never hold up while Will insists that as long as there are Aliens, as the title suggests, it should be just as good as the first.

Steve and Eddie follow just behind the group, Eddie slows down to walk in step with Steve. 

"Sooo that was a little…intense," Eddie says, it's phrased more like a question and the way he's looking at Steve, like he's waiting for an answer for why the air in the ice cream place seemed to shift. He reaches for Steve's elbow with soft fingers that curl around and press into his denim jacket. 

The kids have already piled into the beamer, Lucas snags the front seat since it's his turn --much to the irritation of Mike who 'never gets front seat dibs!'

Eddie swings in front of Steve slightly, letting his hand maintain contact at Steve's elbow, grounding them both.

Eddie's eyes narrow, just enough that Steve catches it, "You just…seem a little on edge or something".

Steve shugs and carefully pulls on a small neutral grin. It's comfortable, he's worn it before.

"Yeah man," he looks away from Eddie's concerned gaze, "it's all good, I'll see you later alright?

He keeps the tone bright. It's not his customer service voice, this is something he's carefully honed over years of sports injuries, smiling at teachers as they scolded him, or lying through his teeth to his dad after a particularly nasty screaming session.

It's light, and something he's never had to break out with Robin.

A small part of Steve was hoping he'd never have to use it on Eddie, but here they were.

"I gotta get the kids back anyway," it's not quite a lie but it's only three in the afternoon, and the words only seem to push Eddie a little further as his fingers curl more firmly around Steve's elbow.

"Steve," Eddie says again, but Steve is already pulling himself out of Eddie's grip, his hand falls away to hang limply at his side, silver rings glinting in the midafternoon sun.

Steve waves and makes his way to the driver's side door, ignoring the way Eddie's eyes follow him and the downward curve of his mouth.

He opens the car door and lets it shut, allowing the chaos of noise and teenage yelling drown out the guilt that followed him into the car.

"So," Dustin says from the back as Steve buckles himself in,"are you sure you guys are good?" 

Steve pauses for just a second before he blinks and puts the key in the ignition, "yeah, 'course man, why wouldn't we be?" 

Dustin is quiet for a moment, all of the kids are. 

There is a strange, somber heaviness in the vehicle as Steve makes his way down mainstreet. 

Mike seems off in his own stormy little world, glaring at the hands in his lap while Will looks out the window with a sad frown. Steve feel's Dustin and now Lucas watching him, their gaze enough to make him itch. 

"You guys just seem different," Dustin insists, he crosses his arms over his seatbelt and leans back into his seat. 

"You guys don't touch like you used to," Lucas says matter of factly.

Dustin snaps his fingers and leans forward once more to grab the back of Lucas's seat, "that's what it is! It's been driving me crazy!"

A dull ache throbs in Steve's chest as the kids continue to talk over one another, the volume gradually rising in the small space.

"Okay, first of all, I will crash this car if you all keep yelling," Steve barks over the four incessant voices, "Jesus, second of all, we don't touch each other--"

"Yes you do!"

"Um, have you met yourselves?"

"Jesus, it's like you're a pair of Octopuses!"

"If you're both sooo good why didn't you guys hug goodbye like you used to?"

"Enough," Steve says sharply, he signals right and slowly pulls off to the side of the road, letting the crackle of gravel fill the now silent vehicle. Steve grips the steering wheel hard enough that his knuckles have faded to white to hide the shaking of his hands.

"Look," Steve sighs, he lifts one hand away from the steering wheel to scrub harshly over his face. It catches on the hint of stubble on his cheeks.

"I appreciate you guys looking out for me, but I am an adult, and I can take care of myself".

"What about when Max saved you from Billy?" Mike scoffs, he ignores the elbow that Will throws into his side. 

"Or when Erica and I had to rescue you and Robin from the Russians?" Dustin challenges with equal ferocity. 

"That was different," Steve says with a scowl and a roll of his eyes, "I only got into those situations because I was looking out for you shitheads--"

"Exactly!!" Dustin crows with a smirk.

"Us shitheads stick together!" He raises his eyebrow like he's already won the argument and crosses his arms over his chest. 

Steve sighs and lets his head tip back into the headrest, he looks into the rear view mirror at the three sets of eyes staring back at him before tipping his face to the side to see Lucas's unwavering gaze from the passenger seat. 

"If I promise you guys that everything is fine for now, you'll drop it?"

The kids are quiet for a moment before Will says, "Party meeting, plug your ears Steve".

Steve considers just putting the car back into drive and continuing on their way, ignoring the ridiculous request. 

But it's Will, and the youngest Buyers has finally realized his ability to weaponize his big hazel eyes and bowl cut to get whatever he wants.

"How is this my life," Steve mutters under his breath but does as he's asked. 

He raises his hands to cup over his ears, muting the following low chatter around him. Steve hums a few bars of Dancing in the Dark to make whatever they're saying even more indistinguishable, because he's a damn good babysitter, before Lucas taps his elbow.

Steve shifts in the driver's seat, turning so he can see all of the beaming faces staring back at him. He feels his eyes narrow in suspicion.

"We'll drop it," Dustin tells him with a smile that doesn't waver once as he looks over to Lucas and then Will, Mike rolls his eyes though the smallest of grins tugs at the corner of his lips.

"If you agree to host Hellfire again," Lucas says with a sly smile, holding his hand out with wiggling fingers for Will to match the corresponding move with his own confident hand. 

"Guys…"

"Come on Steve, you've got the best place for it and we'll make sure you have a good time!" Dustin leans across Mike who huffs and pushes him away, it doesn’t stop Dustin from clasping Steve’s driver's seat with his hands and squeezing the leather by Steve’s shoulder.

Steve holds in a scoff, doubting that they can really guarantee such a thing, especially if Eddie and the other Hellfire members will be there, but the kids are all doing their best impression of the youngest Wheeler, Holly, when she begs for piggyback rides.

"Fine," Steve huffs out, he feels a small smile pull at the corner of his mouth as the kids cheer. 

"Yeah, yeah, if you really want to make me happy, one of you should learn to fuckin' drive".

Taglist: @zerokrox-blog @samcoxramblings @thosemessyvibes @liketheocean @vampireinthesun @themostunoriginalpersonever @merricatty @hyperfixationgoddess @hippieg1rl420

And thank you to @flowercrowngods for your encouragement, I hope the stobin fluff makes up for this not being finished yet!

[panlight]

Hi,

Just a question I wanted to ask about. How do you head-cannon the familial(or perhaps lack thereof) dynamics of the other major covens in twilight? eg. Egyptians, Denali, Irish etc

I was thinking about this the other day like with the Denali - Carmen and Eleazar are physically older and perhaps frozen at a more mature age but physically younger members like Kate have been around for longer and I was just intrigued by how these factors might affect their dynamic. Also with the Egyptian coven and how with them ‘generation gap’ literally takes on a whole new definition that makes one wonder if they genuinely do have a unique rapport with each other after being in close proximity for so long.

Feel free to ignore - just my little brain dump lmao. Love reading your posts and hope you keep writing!

Have a great day!

I conceptualize Eleazar and Carmen as the 'Alice and Jasper' of the Denali coven. They are a couple who join an established, venom-linked couple sometime later. The Denali sisters had their 'mother' for presumably centuries, and then existed as a trio for a long time before Eleazar and Carmen show up, so while I'm certain they did shift the dynamics somewhat, I don't see them as 'parental' in any real way. They are similar to Esme and Carlisle in personality, but that's where it ends for me. The sisters are very loyal to the memory of their mother, and they've been around too long to let anyone 'parent' them. To be fair, I feel similarly about Jasper; I don't think Esme and Carlisle 'parent' him; he's old enough to be Esme's grandfather, for one thing, but I also think he doesn't need or want the parental stuff. Affection, friendship, companionship, mentorship (re: vegetarianism), sure! "Jasper honey wash your face and put on your boots it's time for school! Did you finish all your homework?" I can't see it.

I think Eleazar is also like 'the Jasper' in the sense that he has some useful skills and knowledge from his time with the Volturi. He's not the leader -- Tanya is -- but she may rely on him for certain things, just like Carlisle can turn to Jasper for his knowledge of newborns and vampire warfare.

Beyond that I see them as adopted siblings of the original sisters and probably each have unique relationships within that framework. Maybe Irina was closer to Carmen while Tanya is closer to Eleazar or whatever.

With the Egyptians I think there is a more parental role for Amun and to a lesser extent, Kebi. Amun is Benjamin's creator and while that bond doesn't always become parental, given how young Benjamin was (15) it seems like it most naturally would in this case. I don't think Kebi necessarily sees him as a 'son' in quite the same way . . . maybe more like a step-son. He's Amun's son and she loves Amun so okay, this kid is here to stay, but I think she resents on some level that she has to 'share' Amun's affection with him. Tia is definitely IMO a daughter-in-law rather than a daughter. Amun puts up with it because it makes Benjamin happy and he wants to keep Benjamin around. But with Amun there's always that overlay of what he REALLY cares about is the power. I think he does have a lot of affection for Benjamin but it's hard to separate that from his pride at having this amazingly powerful vampiric offspring.

There is a huge generation gap though! Amun and Kebi are literally from Ancient Egypt and Benjamin and Tia are from like, early 1800s Egypt. Completely different religion, culture, language, etc. I remember finding it a little strange in that short film that they were talking about Benjamin stealing fire from Ra; it's the 1800s, Egypt had been a Muslim-majority country for several hundred years by that point. (Also 'Ra' was probably some dude Amun knew back in the day!) Interestingly, 'Tia' was a name used in Ancient Egypt. Not sure how common it was in the late 1700s/early 1800s though.

[boypurse]

alberto rant

In the midst of a pandemic, major traumatic events, and also being 13 and grieving the loss of childhood, this movie was so incredibly special to me. The first time I watched it I was in my aunts old house, the one my uncle had died in about a week prior.The growing pains were big and large and this movie was a blanket that surrounded me. The movie of an endless summer in italy, all things we couldn’t achieve at that point!! And, my number one favorite character emerged from this movie.

This was all I associated myself with in middle school, i was loud, i was free. Alberto became a character I really attached myself to. I still think he’s one of my favorite characters to this day.

Alberto is loyal, kind, and fearless. Everything a 14 year old is. But he’s also complex. Like how all 14 year olds feel. He’s a fish, and he has some skeletons in his closet. Also has attatchment issues(another 14 year old issue)

I’ve tried desperately to see people talk about him, looking up vidoe essays on youtube, tumblr, any fanfiction site i can get my hands on. It’s all there, but it’s about LUCA. and i could not resent the people in this fandom enough for this. sure , i’ve seen a few theories here and there. but no real good nitty gritty deep dive into a KIDS MOVIE character . yea guys DO BETTER

I’ve seen countless character studies on Luca and how he grows throughout the story. While interesting, it still isn’t alberto to me. And it portrays the exact opposite of what luca is about, in a way, these two push and pull eachother out of dangerous sea for eachother, all simply because they found a friend, all simply because they needed a friend. and didn’t know what else to do with it all. The main pusher is Beto. He always pushes and shoved, luca falls away slowly, but surely. In big gusts does Alberto move. And that’s exactly why I enjoy him too much.

The characterization of this movie is blatant. Every character trait is told in their words, almost like they are made to say it; they hand every shocking truth out for you and leave nothing for the imagination. I see this with all of them. But i see the most in alberto

and it’s not even blantant, tvey created his life and move tn to perfection so that even when he’s not being focused on, you see everything he thinks and feels in an abstract way. He’s watching Luca for half of this show. in a simple story line way, prequsite, rushing action, climax, falling action, aftermath. Hes is a perfect example of simplicity at its finest. He’s just enough, with some waves and a tail to be enough and more.

we know alberto’s motives; to be good, and to be loved. in this order because it’s step one and two for him. We see this mindset emerge in ciao alberto the most, for a parental role. It’s apparent in the movie too, he is un caring, then he clicks, when that love is not retuned, he pulls again. Issues ensue.

This is what makes his character so sad. We see him fall always. And get up in the hands of the ones who pushed him down. Thats love, right? that’s all he knows, more than what he knows. He’s left waiting endlessly. And he’s left fighting endlessly.

In the revile fight scene where Alberto gets beat up, this is a reflection of what he’s feeling. Unwanted, worthless, and Loosing. Luca makes a poor attempt to fight back and it wins, just like how they become friends again. He gets up again. Better and ready to fight. This is the rising action to Alberto’s mind.

The climax is the long awaited betrayal. This betrayal only comes once, but the feeling doenst. When Luca cried sea monster that’s when we fell into Alberto, and not just the snide comments he makes. We’ve seen him fall back from Lucas mind in priority and then we see him fall down to the sea and far from porto rosso. It’s especially sad when the harpoon is thrown. Where he let it happen. HE WOUDLVE LET IT HAPPEN.

There’s a certain blank space in Alberto’s character. That’s his past. The tower scene where it’s revealed his father’s been gone is the intense we feel in this seemingly basic storyline. Left with questions, who is his father? where is his mother? how has he been surviving? What does he feel. The shift on support switches from luca to Alberto fast. And Luca realizes he shouldn’t let friend down so easily.

Alberto’s tower scene is meticulously placed for us to feel more connected to him. And that imagination left to the kid helps you sympathize more, any way you like. He’s one of the best side kicks for this reason. This deep heavy feeling you feel with Alberto as he falls to the bottom of the ocean in lonely grief of loosing. He lost. Again! Fish who called sea monster! We all feel like we’re losing, we all feel like Alberto, tirelessly running for something, someone, anything.

[capricornlevi]

SHAWTY I HEARD AKI HAYAKAWA AND CAME RUNNING-...Aki as a dad mayhaps? tysm!

aki as a dad!!!!!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!! (wc ~1.5k)

Aki has always been the responsible one. 

Ever since he joined the Public Safety Division - even before then, truth be told, since he’s always had an air of seriousness about him, even as a child - he’s been deemed reliable by everyone he encounters. 

Trustworthy. The backbone of the force, someone you can depend on. He’s prepared for almost every eventuality, and carries out his work with diligence and stoic dignity. 

It’s a point of pride for him. He gets attached too easily, he’s well aware of that, but the fact that other people consider him to be responsible … gives him some small amount of reassurance. Almost as if he’s exuding a little bit of comfort just by being around. It feels nice.

But now, for the first time in his twenty-something years, he feels completely and utterly irresponsible. 

Clueless, some could say. 

Panicked, too. 

Out of his depth. 

As he stares down into the bassinet, gazing helplessly at the tiny baby who’s been wailing non-stop for fifteen minutes now, he feels lost. 

How can someone so tiny cry for such a long time? 

He knew babies were loud in spite of their size - he learned as much from the many parenting books that he read during your pregnancy - but he hadn’t prepared for just how much stamina they have when it comes to screaming. This kid will just not let up. How strong are his lungs?

Aki has tried every trick in the book to get your son to stop crying. The baby has been fed, changed, burped, rocked gently back and forth in the bassinet, has had his temperature checked for a fever at least three times …

Nothing has worked. Not even for a moment. The longest pause was about five seconds long, and it was just so he could catch his breath. The crying resumed immediately afterwards.

Taking a step back to reassess the situation, fixing his posture and rolling his shoulder to try and ease the stress-induced ache, Aki can’t help but notice that he feels a peculiar mix of distress, panic, and shame. 

Distress, because the sound of his son crying upsets him greatly. He doesn’t like to think of his baby in a state of discomfort, even though the cause is still completely unknown to him. 

Panic, because the cries are only getting louder, and he’s scared that his efforts are only making things worse. 

And shame, because he had assured you that he could absolutely handle this by himself.

You had only needed to step outside for an hour or so to go to a dentist appointment, but still tried to bring the baby with you - you spent most of the morning trying to gather your son’s things in preparation for the trip. Outings with a six-week-old are more exhausting than either of you had anticipated, and sometimes you feel as though you should bring suitcases with you, not just a pram. 

“No need to go to all the trouble of packing his stuff,” Aki had pointed out, watching you scramble around the apartment to find a clean pair of mittens. As always, his voice was calm and confident. “Since it’s just for an hour - it’s too much effort. I’ll stay here and watch him.”

You paused, a single mitten in one hand and an empty baby bottle in the other. 

“You sure?” 

“Absolutely. It’ll save you the trouble, plus it’s freezing outside.” 

“Certain?” you ask again, trying to keep any concern from leaching into your voice. “Because it’s not that I don’t think you can handle him solo … it’s just neither of us have had to watch him alone before. I haven’t had to do it either, since you’ve always been there to help.”

Aki nods. He’s responsible - he has read all the books, and at this point, he’s spent weeks with his son, learning all about his behaviour and micro-expressions and what babies need to feel safe and comforted. Aki’s as prepared for this task as he is for any other. He’s responsible. 

“How different can it be?”

As it turns out, very. 

Now, Aki reaches a hand out to give the bassinet another gentle rock - futile, since the last five attempts hadn’t worked, but he tries anyway. 

His brows pull together, concern weighing heavily on him. He hasn’t admitted this to anyone - least of all to himself - but deep down, this was always a worry of his. 

Because he knows that on some level, the reason why he always acts as the responsible one is that he has to be in order to keep going. He’s spent most of his life feeling the crushing survivor’s guilt from losing his family. That feeling has informed every decision, every choice he’s made in the field, even the way he interacts with the people in his life. 

Aki is responsible because he needs to protect. He knows he cannot shoulder the burden of losing another person close to him. He can’t afford to be any less than perfect.

When you first told him that you were pregnant, he had felt surprised, happy, hopeful - the pregnancy wasn’t planned, but his heart still warmed when he saw the barely-contained delight written all over your face. 

However, he couldn’t ignore the spark of deep and profound insecurity that ignited in his chest. As the months passed and your due date grew closer, the thoughts started to nag at him. 

You’re gonna fuck this up, Aki. 

You can’t be a father. You can barely take care of yourself. 

How are you ever going to keep this child safe? 

He worked for months to overcome those feelings; for all of your sake, not just his own. For the most part, it worked - the first few weeks of your son’s life had been exhausting but rewarding, filled with moments of happiness that helped drown out his worried thoughts.  

And recently, Aki had started to think that, yeah, maybe he could do this, maybe you could both do this together, since you make such a good team …

But that confidence seems to evaporate now that he’s by himself. 

When he hears the front door push open a few minutes later, Aki’s heart sinks. You’re back home early and you’re about to see his utter failure. 

He couldn’t even look after the kid for an hour … how is he going to handle the rest of his life?

“Everything okay?” you ask softly, approaching the two of them once you’ve set your bag and keys down on the counter. You could hear the sounds of crying from down the hall; the sound is never easy to hear, but it’s made all the more difficult when you see the expression on Aki’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“He won’t stop crying,” Aki admits, each syllable laced with shame. “The whole time you were gone. I don’t have a clue what to do, I tried everything.”

“It’s probably nothing,” you answer, and you mean it, too. You’re protective, of course, but you approach these situations a bit more practically than Aki does - as long as the baby is safe, fed, and taken care of, then it’s probably nothing to worry about. “Have you tried talking to him?”

He looks up at you, baffled.

“I - talking?”

You smile, warm as you can. “Talking. Letting him hear your voice, you know? Obviously he won’t know what you’re saying, but it’s worth a shot.”

And well … even though he’s still confused, Aki feels he may as well give it a shot. He’s tried everything else to no avail, and so even though having a conversation with a newborn seems ridiculous, he’s willing to try anything at this stage. He looks back down at his son, trying not to feel discouraged by the sounds of high-pitched crying, and starts to talk.  

“Ah … h-hi, there,” he begins, sounding just a little awkward and stilted. It’s strangely endearing. Aki glances at you out of the corner of his eye, and you nod, prompting him to keep going. “You’re … okay. You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

He rocks the bassinet along with the rhythm of his words, his tone now more soft and soothing as he reassures the baby. 

“You’re okay. It’s all okay, don’t worry. It’s all fine. I’m here.”

The volume of the cries starts to lower - the baby is still stirring, but is no longer wailing at the top of his tiny lungs. There are even a few moments of complete silence. 

Encouraged, Aki keeps going. 

“That helps, huh?” he whispers, leaning down a little closer  - he knows that babies can’t see too far away, and wants to let his son know that he’s there. The little face that peers back up at him is an almost exact mix of the two of you both, and Aki’s eyes soften even further. “Did you just want to have a little talk? A little talk with your dad?”

At that, the baby lets out a little delighted-sounding gurgle. 

You laugh, reaching to take Aki’s free hand in your own. 

“See?” you point out when your son’s eyes start to droop shut, ready to sleep, his cries having ceased completely at this point. “He just likes knowing you’re here.”

Aki likes knowing that, too. He knows that he’s going to be here whenever he’s needed, for both of you. 

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 20

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents, smut.

Word Count:

Chapter 19 | Masterlist

“Katie? Darlin’ you ready?” Jake yelled out. I was fixing a curl in my mirror when I replied. “I’m coming!” I yelled out, grabbing the small wallet to put in my jeans and walked downstairs. “Why are you rush…ing me?” I stared at Jake who stood in front of me in blue jeans, a large belt buckle, a light blue pearl snap shirt, black stetson and fringed chaps. “Woah.” He muttered. “Yeah, woah.” I said, looking at him. He looked so good. “You okay?” He asked and I nodded, smiling at him once I broke out of my trance. “You got a little drool right there.” I said, pointing to the corner of his lips and he quickly wiped his face. “You look gorgeous.” He said, coming around the couch and taking my waist in his hands. “And you look hot.” I said without thinking and my face grew warm with a blush. He chuckled, his hand coming up and cupping my cheek. “Thank you, darlin’.” He said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. “Okay, the finishing touch.” Jake said. He walked over to the dining room table and grabbing a box. “Here.” He said, holding out the box towards me. “Take the lid off.” He said. I raised a brow but lifted the lid and gasped at what was inside. “Jake.” I said, pulling the white stetson out. “It’s beautiful.” I said. It was a pure snow white with a light brown leather strap around it. “I figured if you were going to dress as a cowgirl, you need a real cowgirl hat.” He said, setting the box down and gently placing the hat on my head. 

“You look gorgeous.” He said, leaning down and kissing my cheek. “Are you ready?” He asked and I nodded. I slid a small wallet and my phone in my back pocket and followed Jake out, stopping in front of the mirror we had hanging up in the foyer. I admired myself for a minute before a smile grew on my face. “Darlin’?” He asked and I turned, taking his hand and letting him lead me out to the truck. “What do you think everyone else will be dressed as?” I asked him when we were halfway there. He shrugged and squeezed my thigh. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to find out.” He said, grinning at me. It wasn’t long before we pulled up to a house with cars overflowing in the driveway. Jake parked in the road and got out, rushing around to my side. “You okay?” He asked as he took my hand and helped me out. I know that no one like Coop is going to be here, but I still worry.

“Yeah, just a little nervous.” I said and he smiled at me, leaning down and kissing my forehead. “It’ll be okay. But if you ever want to leave just say the words and we’re out.” He said and I nodded, smiling up at him. “Alright.” With that he locked the truck, squeezed my hand and led us to the front door. Once there he rang the doorbell and we waited for a second before it swung open and revealed Mav in front of us in black pants and a black tank top. “Hey guys!” He said before pulling Jake into a hug and reaching for me, catching me off guard. “Hey Mav.” I said and he moved for us to step in. “Glad to see y’all made it!” He was so excited and probably had a few drinks at this point. “Come on, Penny is out back with everyone else.” We followed him out back to find the large back yard lit up, tables set up with lots of food and drinks. “Wow, y’all went all out.” Jake said and Mav nodded. “Go big or go home, right?” He said, laughing. “Help yourself to drinks, there’s plenty for everyone.” With that Mav walked away and Jake turned to me. “What do you want?” He asked, slowly walking us over to the table on the porch. “A beer will be fine.” I told him and he raised a brow at me. “You want a beer?” He asked, reaching in and pulling out a bottle. “Yeah,” I nodded. “Gotta branch out eventually.” He chuckled, popped the top off and handed it to me. “Whatever my girl wants, my girl gets.” He opened his own beer before wrapping a hand around my waist and leading me off the porch into the crowd. It wasn’t a huge crowd, but not small either. 

“Rooster.” Jake called, and a man in a brown leather jacket and khakis turned around to face us. He had a bag slung over his shoulder and a whip attached to his waist. I smirked as we approached and he flicked his hat up. “I always knew someday you'd come walking back through my door.” I said and he chuckled before pulling me into a hug. “Hey, that’s my line!” I turned to see Natasha walking over in a stunning white dress with a white rose on it. “This,” I said, pointing at her Marion Ravenwood costume. “Is scary accurate. You look exactly like her.” I said and she smiled, holding the dress out slightly. “You think?” She asked and Jake nodded. “Rooster could look like Indiana, but he’d have to shave the mustache first.” Rooster immediately covered his mustache. “The mustache goes nowhere. It stays.” He said, making us laugh. Soon a song came on and Jake dragged me into a dance. He pulled my body flush against his, his thigh almost between mine as his hand rested on my back, and my arm slung around his shoulder. “I’m very proud of my costume choices.” He said, smirking down at me, not hiding the fact his eyes drifted across my breasts. “Mhm, I’m sure you are Mr. Seresin.” I said and he roughly tugged me closer. “Say it again.” His voice dropped an octave and I wanted to melt in his arms. “Mr.Seresin.” He leaned down kissing me possessively. “Damn, do I want to take you home right now.” He said and I giggled, kissing his cheek. “But we just got here and I wanna stay.” I said, whining slightly. He just chuckled and smiled at me. “Fine, but you’re all mine later.” He said, and I smiled up at him. “I’m yours every night.” 

“Well don’t you two look cozy.” I looked behind Jake and laughed. Jake raised a brow and turned around and laughed with me. “This is hilarious!” Bob, Payback, Coyote and Fanboy were all dressed up in Ghostbusters costumes. “I think they’re pretty accurate!” Payback said, spinning around. “They are!” I said, tugging on his jumpsuit. “It just matches y’all’s personality so well.” They all grinned and struck a pose, making us laugh. “How about you get me another beer, then we can have another dance.” I said, resting my hand on Jake’s chest and he just smiled at me before nodding and heading for a cooler. “There’s so many people here.” It was a very crowded party. “Mav was very selective about who he invited.” Fanboy said as he stood next to me. “Is that your way of telling me I have nothing to worry about?” I asked and he chuckled. “Yeah. It is.” I smiled as Jake came back and handed me a second beer. “So, about that second dance?” He asked and I laughed, nodding. “Whenever you want.” 

We spent the next few hours dancing and Jake kept a constant rotation of drinks in my hand. “Okay,” I said, fumbling my words slightly. “I have to go pee. I’ll be right back.” I leaned up and kissed him. “Alright, darlin’.” With that I turned and walked away inside the house. I had to stop and think because I couldn’t remember exactly where Penny told me the bathroom was, but thankfully after a minute I found it. I went inside, seeing my mascara gathering under my eyes slightly. I giggled at myself in the mirror before cleaning up my face and using the bathroom. Once I was done, I washed my hands and fixed my hair in the mirror before admiring myself. I swung the bathroom door open, stepping out and starting down the hall. “Hey.” My eyes were a little cloudy as I looked up. While his face wasn’t clear, I knew immediately who it was by the height and the cologne. “What are you doing here?” My voice was steady when I said it, no ounce of fear could be detected, while deep down I was absolutely terrified. “It’s a party isn’t it?” Blake responded. “Besides, I haven’t seen you in a while. Thought we could catch up.” His hands fell to my waist and he stumbled forward as I backed myself into the wall. “Don’t touch me.” I snapped, smacking his hands from my waist but he was persistent. “Oh come on, Katie. We could’ve had so much fun that night on our date.” I scoffed, the adrenaline sobering me up some. “If you consider a broken nose fun then sure.” I said as I side stepped away from him. “Broken bones heal. We could give it one more shot.” He grinned at me. “You need to leave. Now! I have never had an interest in you and I never will. I have a boyfriend and I love him. So leave.” I snapped at him. “Hangman?” He laughed, gripping my wrist tightly. “He doesn’t love you, Katie. He’s too self absorbed to love anyone but himself. He’s only keeping you around because you boost his ego.” I knew he was only trying to get in my head. “You know nothing about him. Now let me go!” I said, lifting my right foot and kicking him in the gut, effectively sending him to the floor. 

His body thudded against the floor just as Natasha came around the corner. “Oh hell no. Bradley!” She said. “It’s okay, Natasha. I’ve got this handled.” I stormed towards him just as he was trying to get up. “Come on.” I hoisted him up and managed to drag him into the living room just as Bradley walked in, Mav and Jake behind him. “Katie-” Natasha stopped him. “She’s got this.” She said and Blake could hardly get his feet under him while I had him by a belt loop and the collar of his shirt. “Alright Blake.” I opened the door and stood him up straight and he turned on me. “I’ll make you regret everything, you little bitch.” He said and I smirked. “I don’t think I will. Bye, Blake.” I gave him a smile and wave, before once again, lifting my foot and literally kicking him out the door before I slammed it. I turned to everyone, a wide grin on my face. “You okay?” Jake asked, eyeing me warily. “I am great!” I said and he smiled, coming over to me and pulling me into his arms. “I love you, and that was so hot.” He whispered the last part because everyone was staring at us. “It’s a party!” I said. “Let’s go back outside and have fun!” I said. Jake grabbed my hand, pulling me back towards the backyard, following everyone else. 

We partied until about two a.m. and Jake carried me back out to the truck. “I had so much fun.” I slurred and he laughed. Jake only had two beers when we got here and quit drinking by ten p.m. “You definitely did, Darlin’.” He set me down long enough to open the door and help me in before buckling my seat belt and kissing my head. The ride home was quiet except for the radio playing quietly and me humming along. As we got home I had sobered up and managed to trudge my way up the stairs. I felt exhausted and just wanted to curl up with Jake and sleep. We got undressed, took a quick shower before crawling into our bed. “I’m proud of you for tossing him out like that.” Jake said as he tossed his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him. “It felt good to put my foot down.” I responded and we sat in silence for a minute until he opened his mouth to ask what I knew would come up eventually. “Did he-” “Yes he made a pass at me, and I told him no and that I loved you.” I looked up at him, a small smile on my face as his finger brushed across my cheek. “He also tried to get in my head and tell me you didn’t actually love me, but I know better.” He smiled down at me, his nose brushing my own. “I’m so happy that I’ve made it clear how I feel for you, Katie. I don’t ever want you to doubt my feelings for you.” I smiled and kissed him softly. “I won’t Jake. I promise.” He squeezed me closer to him, cradling me as I drifted off to sleep. 

The following Monday was Halloween and I was more than happy when class was over. “Think you and Jake will have a bunch of kids come by for candy?” Annie asked. “I’m not sure. It’s a decent neighborhood but there’s not many kids and I’m sure parents will take their kids to the bigger neighborhoods for better candy.” The sun was very bright in my eyes as we stepped outside and I moved my sunglasses off my head to cover my eyes. “How many bags did you get?” Brooke asked. “We got five of the giant bulk bags just in case.” They laughed at my answer. “That’s so much! What are you going to do with the rest?” Annie asked and I shrugged. “Eat it?” It came out as more of a question. “Well if you do eat it, don’t make yourself sick! Those stomach aches are the worst.” Annie said, turning a little green. “Oh yeah, didn’t you tell me you ate a whole three giant bags of sour candy a few years ago?” Brooke asked and Annie blushed. “I failed a major test and got broken up with on the same day. Cut me some slack!” We all laughed. “Well I’ll let y’all know how tonight turns out. See you tomorrow!” I waved before heading for my truck.

Once I was home I found Jake pulling a sheet pan full of veggies out of the oven. “Oh wow, you’re home early. And cooking?” I asked as I set my bag down. “Well it is four thirty, kids will be coming around real soon. I’m gonna blend these into a sauce and cook some chicken. Why don’t you get dressed?” He asked, leaning over to kiss my lips. “Yes, sir.” I said, giving him a lax salute before wandering upstairs. I took my time changing into the jeans for my costume but I tossed a t-shirt on, not wanting to get anything on the top for my costume. I touched up my hair and did my makeup before going back downstairs, just in time for dinner. “Gorgeous, but where’s your top?” He asked, setting my plate on the table. “I’ll put it on after dinner. Don’t wanna get any of this sauce on it.” He smiled, pulling out my chair and letting me sit down. “So how busy do you think it’ll be tonight?” I asked and he shrugged. “I’m not too sure. I’ve talked to a few neighbors but they say it varies each year.” I nodded. “I hope we get a lot, honestly. I always enjoyed seeing people in our neighborhoods growing up.” He smiled at me. “Me too. I miss seeing my nieces and nephews trick-or-treating.” I smiled at him just as the doorbell went off. “I got it. Go put your costume on.” I said as I got up and made my way to the door. 

After a few kids coming to the door, Jake and I managed to finish our food and make our way outside. “TWICK-OR-TWEAT!” A tiny voice said as a little girl came sprinting up the driveway and to the porch. She has on a pink princess dress and her hair in little pigtails. “Twick-or-Tweat!” She said again as she made it to the porch. “Well aren’t you the cutest princess.” Jake said, kneeling down to her level and holding the bucket of candy out to her. “Thank you.” She said as she stuck her hand in the bowl, grabbing a piece of candy. “Wow.” She said as she turned to me. “You’re da pwettiest cowgorl.” She said and I smiled at her. “Thank you, I really like your dress.” She smiled, twirling a little. “My mommy made it!” She said excitedly. “Lacey! Come on!” She turned to the couple standing in the driveway watching her. “Bye bye!” She waved, rushing off. “She was absolutely adorable!” I said, barely able to contain myself and Jake turned, smiling at me. “Can I ask you something?” He asked as we sat on the steps. “Of course.” I said, taking his hand. “Have you ever-” We were cut off by a ton of kids rushing the house and screaming.

The next morning I was shaking, my nerves eating me alive. “It’ll be okay.” I said to myself in the mirror as I got my scrubs on. It is finally day one of clinicals and I have no idea how I’m going to do it. I made my way downstairs to find my lunch packed with leftovers from last night with a note on top. “You’ve got this darling. I love you and have a great day.” I smiled as I tucked it into my lunch bag before grabbing everything and heading out the door. I drove to Scripps Mercy Hospital which was kind of close to base but I still had about a thirty minute drive to get there. By the time I pulled in, I was half an hour early. I would normally sit in my truck but I was nervous so I decided to get out and make my way inside. I hiked from the back of the parking lot where we were told to park and was glad when I stepped through the door. “Hi.” I said to the security guard at the front desk. “I’m doing clinicals in the ER today.” He nodded. “Can I see your student ID?” I nodded, fishing it out of my bag and handing it to him. “Good.” He said as he hit the button under the desk and the double doors opened. “You can put your stuff in the break room, third door on the right. The charge nurse will meet all of you there.” I nodded and thanked him before wandering through the doors and back where he told me. 

As I walked in there was a girl sitting at the table eating and I smiled at her. “Student?” She asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” I said as my face grew warm. “I showed up an hour early on my first day of clinicals, too. You’ll be fine.” She said before biting into some bacon. I smiled at her and set my bag and lunch box in a corner. “Thank you. I’m Katie.” I said as I sat a few chairs down. “Crystal.” She said in reply. “How long have you been a nurse for?” She chuckled at me. “About fifteen years.” My eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry but you don’t look old enough to have been a nurse that long.” She laughed as she took the last bite of her food. “Well thank you, you just made my day.” I smiled at her. “But yes, fifteen years and man has it felt like fifteen years.” I nodded and the door opened. “Oh thank god! I was scared to be the first here!” Brooke said as she walked in. I laughed as she set her bag down. Soon a few other girls filed in, Annie being last. The class was split up between four different departments here in the hospital and I’m glad I got to start in the ED. We all sat around talking and Crystal went out to start her shift as we waited. “Good morning, ladies.” We turned to see a tall black woman standing in the doorway in royal blue scrubs. “I hope you’re all ready for your day. It’s going to be a lot to take in. I am Mya Woods, the charge nurse here at Scripps Mercy. Tell me yours.” We all went around introducing ourselves. “Alright. Now that we have that out of the way, follow me. We’ll start with a tour of the hospital.” We followed her out the door and she lead us out to a lobby past the ED. She took us to the lab, radiology, cardiology, neurology, surgery, and every other department in the hospital. By the time we got the rundown it was two o’clock and I was starving. “Okay, you have half an hour to eat. When you get back we’ll go over policy and procedure.” We all nodded and I trudged back to the break room and grabbed my lunch. 

“Hey Katie, we’re all gonna go eat outside. Want to join?” Starla, a girl in my class asked as I waited for my food to heat up. I’ve talked to the other girls in class and they’re all nice but we’ve never really spent time together. “Uh, sure.” I replied, grabbing my food and phone before heading outside. There was a large round stone table outside and we all squeezed in. “I feel like we’ve been here for ten hours.” Starla said as she rolled her neck. “If every day is going to be like this, then I don’t know if I can do this.” She said and Brooke replied. “I think Thursday will go over better, we’ll be paired up and we can start actual work, no more SOP’s and all that.” Brooke responded. “I sure hope you’re right.” Starla said and everyone else agreed. After lunch we sat in a conference room and went over all the policies and procedures and it was hard for me to focus or stay awake. So I was relieved when five came and I could leave. I gathered all my stuff and we all trekked out to our cars. “Back to the classroom tomorrow.” Annie said as she got to her car. “Joy.” I muttered as I dragged my feet to my truck. I was exhausted and was ready to sleep. 

I managed to drive home and by the time I hit the drive way I could’ve just slept in my truck but I dragged myself out. I opened the door and could hardly keep my eyes open. “Hi darlin’.” Jake said, grinning at me with his hands behind his back. “Hi.” I murmured. “What are you hiding?” I asked as I gave him a small smile. He pulled out a vase with roses in it and held it out to me. “Aw Jake. You shouldn’t have.” I took the vase as he took my backpack and lunch bag from me. “Well you deserve it. This is a big step and I’m so proud of everything you’ve done.” He pulled me into him, kissing my forehead. “What do you want for dinner?” He asked. “Pizza.” I said and he chuckled. “Go change and I’ll order it.” I nodded and turned, going upstairs to our room. I sat on the bed and untied my shoes, sighing in relief as I wiggled my toes. “A minute wouldn’t hurt.” I muttered to myself, lying back on the bed. But I quickly drifted off to sleep.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Jake asked as he checked my forehead again. “Yes, Jake. I’m not going to class and I have an eight a.m. doctor's appointment. It’s probably just the flu.” I said, my eyes drifting closed. It was currently Thursday and I was missing our second day of clinicals. Rebecca sent me home early yesterday because I was still really fatigued and started getting a fever. Thankfully, Jake was successful at getting my fever down last night. “Well I'll call and check in with you around lunch time okay?” He asked and I nodded. He leaned down and kissed my temple before leaving for work. It was five-thirty so I had plenty of time to go back to sleep. I slept until seven and got up, sliding on some athletic shorts and one of Jake’s t-shirts before making my way out the door. I was early for my appointment so after I filled out the paperwork I sat in the chair, my head lolling to the side. “Blair?” I immediately stood. “Hi.” I muttered as the medical assistant smiled at me. “Oh dear, let’s get you checked out and get you something to make you feel better.” I nodded as she led me back. We got my weight which went up and then she took my vitals. My temperature was back up, but everything else was normal. “Alright, Dr. Downs will be in in just a moment.” I nodded and sat there quietly, anxious to go back home and go to bed. 

A knock sounded on the door and it opened. “Katie. I’m Dr. Downs, nice to meet you.” The woman greeted as she came in. “Nice to meet you too.” She sat down with an ipad and smiled at me. “So, why don’t you tell me a little about what’s going on?” She said. “Well, I’m exhausted and I thought it was just from my first day of clinicals.” “Nursing school?” She asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” “That’s amazing.” I smiled at her. “I obviously have a fever, my body aches and I’m getting a headache. I’m pretty sure it’s the flu.” She nodded. “Well I will get some tests and blood work ordered right away, but you’re probably right. It’s most likely the flu.” I nodded as she typed some stuff in. “You’re not on any medications, right?” I nodded. “Correct.” She nodded. “Not even for your ADHD or depression?” I furrowed my brows at her. “Uh, yes. I have neither of those.” She raised an eyebrow. “Your full name is Katherine Scarlett Blair and your birthday is December thirteenth nineteen ninety eight right?” I nodded. “Parents are Meredith and Richard Blair?” I nodded. 

“Yeah, it says right here you were evaluated at five years old. Child shows clear and obvious signs of attention deficit hyperactive disorder with autistic traits, but does not meet the criteria to be diagnosed with autism. Child also suffers from major depressive disorder-” “Stop. You have the wrong chart. That is not mine.” I said, my hand shaking as I held it up. “Katie. Look…” I walked over and there was a photo of me attached at age five. “I know it’s hard to believe-” “I’ve never been told about this a day in my life. I want a copy of that.” She nodded. “Okay. I’ll get this printed and get your tests ready.” I nodded and sat back down. The nurse came in and drew my blood and swabbed my throat and I waited some more, anxiety eating me alive. “Well, your flu test is positive. I’ll call in an antiviral for you.” I nodded and she handed me a large stack of papers. “That is your entire diagnosis. I’m sorry, Katie.” She said and I sighed, clutching the papers. “If you have any questions, the psychologist you saw is retired, but his partner is still there. You can call them, or you can call here and I’ll help you as best I can.” I nodded, standing. “Thank you, Dr. Downs.” She nodded. “You’re welcome.”

I walked out, paid for the appointment with the credit card Jake left me and got back in the truck. I stared down at the papers in my hands, reading them in detail. Every agonizing detail and tears streaked my face as I looked at it. Once I was done I propped my arm on the window, staring out the window as I scratched a bump on my face. “Fuck it.” I tossed everything on the bench seat and pulled out of the parking lot. I drove in silence, my mind racing with every thought imaginable. It couldn’t be true, but it also makes some sense. My heart rate picked up as I turned down the familiar street and I thought I would pass out as I pulled in the driveway. Before I could lose my nerve I grabbed the papers and my phone before storming up to the front door. I slammed my fist on the door multiple times, making my anger ever so clear. I was about to do it again when the door swung open and I stared my mother in the face. “We need to have a fucking conversation. Right now.” I said before shoving past her and into the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[blueicequeen19]

Dirty Hot Pogue Pt. 7

Warnings: mentions of abortion, parental angst, implied mental health issues, no smut in this one.

Series ML

No one tells you how to deal with heartbreak. They don't tell you how to deal with public humiliation. Or disappointed parents. No tells you how to pick up the pieces when you're spiraling, looking for anything to numb the pain. Some people use sex or drugs or alcohol. Others pretend. They pretend nothing happened. They pretend they don't care while burying every crippling emotion that might kill them if they don't.

So that's what I did. I told my parents I was going through a phase and I needed time away from OBX. My mother and I spent two weeks in Europe after I threw my phone in the ocean, cutting my ties off from the outside world. It didn't stop my ability to dream and lust over a certain blonde. No matter what I did, I always saw his face in every shaggy haired blonde I saw. So I made it a point to avoid blondes. Then it was guys with blue eyes. Eventually it became guys in general. The thought of kissing someone, let alone flirting, made me sick to my stomach. Time away from OBX only made the sickness that is JJ Maybank stronger. I wanted to see him. I wanted to know what he was doing. Who he was talking to. Was he okay?

But I couldn't move on if I was constantly worried about him so I took up a hobby. Every time I started to think about him, I'd go for a run or read a book. I made myself okay. I did what I needed to in order to survive without him. I knew I was incredibly insecure but hearing him tell me that they didn't work out because she would always be a Kook, hit too close to home. It was almost like deja vu. Who were we kidding? I'd never have anything with him that wasn't physical. We wouldn't be able to get married and start a family. My family would never allow it. We would be miserable and doomed to fail anyway. I did the right thing. I pursued this and I had to be the one to end it.

So after I got back to OBX, I stepped back into my old life like I'd never left. Summer was over and everyone went back to school. I made sure to stay on Figure Eight and I busied myself with online schooling and running. I made amends with my parents and I even gave my Kook "best friend" permission to see Bryce, although I know they were already sleeping together. I never once see him or his friends. My life easily becomes a routine of pleasing my parents, school, running, and hiding on Figure Eight. I stay away from parties and I stay away from men.

Although, most of the guys my age that are still here whisper "Pogue Slut" every time they see me. Like they can sleep with Pogues but I can't. I'm eight weeks into my self recovery, enjoying a backyard BBQ with my parents and a few of the neighbors when the smell of cooked meat as my stomach turning so violently, I barely make it to my mothers favorite rose bush before I'm emptying my stomach.

At first, I think it's the champagne as I try to hold my hair back and my mother comes to my aid. Well, she's more concerned about her plant but she awkwardly pats me on the back as some sort of comfort. But then, as she's ushering me inside I hear someone mention the word "pregnant" and I quickly lock eyes with two girls my age who are whispering together while openly judging me with their eyes. I glare at them over my shoulder as my mother attempts to hide me inside. I can hardly think, let alone breathe as she guides me upstairs, muttering plans that I can't quiet make out.

"We have to take care of this." She gets me to my bedroom, taking out her phone and calling someone.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. Everything is running together in my mind. I'm on birth control. I can't be.. It's just the champagne. That BBQ did smell terrible. Why is everyone making a big deal?

"Hello? Dr Thornton? Yes, this is Y/F/N's mother. I need to schedule an abortion." My eyes widen in disbelief, my mothers frantic words into the phone fade out as I turn and empty my stomach again.

"You're 22 weeks." The final nail in my coffin as the ultrasound tech turns the screen, letting me see the life forming inside me. Apparently, my birth control expired. I'd ignored the phone call from the doctor and all the unprotected sex finally caught up with me.

"You're sure?" My mother demands, making me grit my teeth as the tech awkwardly nods and shows her the screen, the baby's size being evidence enough. I couldn't believe what I was seeing as the baby kicked and moved in every direction. They said I should start feeling it anyday.

"So it's too late to have an abortion."

"Mom!" I sit up abruptly, the tech scooting back as I debate throwing something at my mother.

"Y/N, don't you scream at me. Do you even know who's child this is? Do you realize what you've done? You've humiliated me in front of the entire town!" Her words are like a knife to the heart, cutting my walls down all over again. She was worried about herself. About her reputation. Not me.

"I know who the father is." I say calmly, wiping away stray tears.

"How? I saw you in Europe flirting with all those guys. Anyone of them could--."

"I didn't sleep with a single one of them! I was just talking! I was being friendly. I was trying to have some nice adult conversations that didn't revolve around what a fuck up I am!"

"Y/N--."

"Get out! GET OUT!" I scream, just as the door opens and a nurse escorts my mother out. I lay back on the table, crying harder than I ever had in my life. It's not until the tech offers me a box of tissues that I laugh awkwardly, drying my tears and snot before she continues with the rest of the exam.

"Would you like to know the sex?" She asks, handing me the pictures she's printed out. Tears start to fall again at the distinct face in the picture. The face belonging to the baby inside me. I could already see his features in the baby. The uncanny resemblance has me already knowing what the gender is.

"Yes."

I show up at JJ's house, hoping like hell his dad's not here when he suddenly emerges out of the back door. It's late, my car packed full of my belongings after my parents promptly kicked me out for not agreeing to give the baby up for adoption. JJ was my next stop. Seeing him again had all those unresolved feelings rushing back. I wanted to beg him to forgive me. I wanted to apologize but this wasn't about me. This was about our baby. JJ was the father and deserved to know. He deserved to have a say.

"Are you lost?" JJ snaps, as I step out of the car. Apparently, all the running I'd taken up had toned me down quite a bit so I wasn't showing yet. I had a slight curve from the side but that was it. No one would believe I was pregnant despite being over halfway. So I wasn't giving it away as I slowly approached him on his back porch. Plus, he wouldn't believe me without proof.

"No. I'm exactly where I need to be." I exhale hard, ready to just rip the band aid off when a leggy brunette emerges from the door just as I pull the ultrasound pictures from my pocket. My eyes lock on her but JJ's lock on what's in my hand. My first thought is to immediately retreat. He's moved on. He won't want a family with me but I quickly snap out of it when he snatches the pictures from my hand.

"What the fuck is this, Y/N?" JJ gasps, his blue eyes wide as he searches the pictures. The girl leans in close, obviously not concerned with me before she purses her lips while nodding as she examines the pictures too. Anger washes over me. How dare some skank lean over him and openly examine ultrasounds of my baby.

"Congrats, cuz." It's like a bucket of water is poured on me as she claps him on the back and steps off the porch, grabbing a bike I hadn't seen and riding off.

Cuz. She was his cousin.

"Y/N, answer me. Is this--are you--." JJ's frantic blue eyes meet mine and I can't do anything but nod, tears streaming down my face.

"This says you're 22 weeks. Why didn't you--."

"I just found out." I sob, sinking down on the porch step as I bury my face in my hands. Thanks to the pregnancy, I found out I'm also extremely hormonal.

"It's a--."

"Yes." JJ slowly sits down next to me. I glance over at him, seeing the slight smirk on his face as he slowly shakes his head before looking at my packed car.

"Parents kicked you out, huh?"

"Yea."

"Mine too." JJ sighs, leaning back on his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him. "I just put a down payment on a one bedroom apartment."

"I don't have any money." I murmur, the tears threatening to fall again. I was pregnant with no parents, no money, and no place to live. I was hopeless. The warmth of JJ's hand finds mine and he squeezes.

"Welcome to the Pogue life, baby." I sniffle, squeezing his hand back when his brows pinch together and he withdraws his hand.

“Look, we will figure this out but I don’t trust you. I can’t just welcome you back with open arms just because your life is a dumpster fire. I’m not a last resort. I told you that from the beginning.” I nod, absorbing his words as I take a deep breath, exhaling my old life.

“I love you, JJ. I have since the beginning. I’m sorry it’s taken all this for me to tell you. We can figure this out together but I want you to know that I love you and I’m all in. Whether you are or not.”