#i think more than nick and jess this time

[sweetbans29]

Little Ones - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: When talk becomes reality - baby edition (based on THIS request)

Warnings: Caitlin with kids is a warning - fight me, the photo is form when she was a Hawkeye, fic is when she is with the Fever

Word Count: 1.9k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Okay but CC with kids is such a mood - she is just as cute (if not cuter) than the kids!

"Will you marry me?" Caitlin says while she is down on one knee, The two of you took (at least what you thought was) a spontaneous trip to the eastern coast in the middle of the night to go watch the sunrise. Now here you are, sun on the horizon, standing in complete shock in front of the love of your life, her down on one knee asking you to marry her.

"Yes." You say as Caitlin, with shakey hands, takes the ring out of the box and places it on your finger. Her touch is so gentle as her hands continue to shake with now-settled nerves and pure excitement. Once the ring is on your finger she jumps up, wrapping her in your arms and spinning you around. As she does, you let out the most beautiful laugh she has ever heard and yell 'We're getting married' at the top of your lungs not caring that the world is still asleep. Caitlin didn't think she could, but she fell more in love with you at that moment.

As the two of you drive back, you can't stop looking down at the ring that your now fiance has gotten you. It's so much bigger than any ring you ever imagined would live on your hand.

"It is so big," you say, eyes still in awe and heart still swollen from the events of the morning.

"You deserve even more," Caitlin says as she places a hand on your thigh, giving it a little squeeze.

You go silent as you continue looking at the stone. The two of you are still in college and if you are honest, it sort of scares you to think about you walking around with something so valuable.

Caitlin senses your shift.

"Hey," she says in the softest tone. "We can get you something smaller if that would make you more comfortable."

She knows you all too well. You were never the one to wear a lot of jewelry and the times that you had put something nice on, it was always something simple and dainty.

But you also know her well. This ring is a declaration of her love for everyone to see. She is proud that everyone knows you are hers and wants the world to see. You would never take that away from her.

"No, no. I absolutely love it. I was thinking just maybe something temporary while we finish school. Like one of those rubber ones that athletes wear - just so no one jumps me and cuts off my hand for this in that parking lot or something." The second you say it, the two of you burst out laughing.

"You would think about someone cutting off your hand," Caitlin says, continuing to laugh.

"Hey! There are some crazy people out there and this is worth a pretty penny," you say, eyes still glued to the ring.

You hear Caitlin mumble something along the lines of 'try 50 pretty pennies'. Your head whips around to her and she just gives you a shy look.

The two of you decide that you will get a silicone ring to wear while you finish out college and then switch back to the ring Caitlin got you, with the exception of date nights and family events.

When you get back to your college town, you guys stop to get some food. You ask her all the questions about when she started planning when she got the ring, and everything. She told you everything you wanted to know down to asking your dad for his blessing over one of your school breaks. You sit there amazed, taking in every word, not believing she is the one you get to spend the rest of your life with.

*6 months later*

Caitlin is at practice with her team one winter afternoon when the conversation presents itself yet again. Cait is now in her first season of the WNBA and has fit into the Indiana Fever perfectly. Everyone loves her and they have slowly been getting to know you.

"Did you see that Jess and Nick are expecting?" NaLyssa says as they are in a circle stretching. "They just announced they are going to be having a baby boy."

Everyone in the circle is sending NaLyssa dagger looks knowing the can of worms she just opened is one that Caitlin won't stop talking about.

"Awww, that is so cute!" Caitlin says with unmatched excitement. "You know, I can't wait to have a little one - just imagine them running around in little Fever gear and coming to all the games. It would be the cutest thing," Caitlin says and then proceeds to go on about how much she wants kids and can't want to have little mini-Caitlins running around.

"What if they come out as little versions of your lady?" Erika says. "They would also be pretty cute running around here."

"Don't get me started on if they are little versions of her," Caitlin says with pure excitement. "I would never be able to say not to them!"

When they are done stretching, they head into a cardio practice. Every break, Caitlin brings up something kid-related - how cute they would be, how she would teach them any sport they want, how she would want to make them proud that she is their mom. It gets to the point where the team walks away when Caitlin begins talking on the subject. Everyone with the exception of Erika, who has taken Cait in both on the court and off. She toughs it out and listens to Caitlin ramble about someday having kids. She is also the only one on the team that knows Caitlin and you are engaged. So she feels it is only fitting she let your girl ramble on about how someday family.

*18 months later*

Caitlin's 3rd year in the WNBA and she is still on fire. She was named both Rookie of the Year her first year as well as MVP - only the second to do that in the history of WNBA history.

The team is pretty much the same, with the exception of a few trades and added rookies. Erika and Lexie are still closer than ever to Caitlin on the court.

The conversation of kids comes up again when Lexie mentions her little one has started teething.

"Isn't it the worst?" Caitlin says. "You just hate seeing them in pain and you can't really do anything about it."

"I know! I just want to cuddle him but he is super fussy and is running warm." Lexie says. "It is heartbreaking."

"Right?" Caitlin says, which earns some looks from some of the other girls on the team.

Practice ends and everyone goes home for the day. A few days pass and Lexi brings up her son again.

"This whole teething thing has been terrible for our sleep schedule. Miles is up every hour and will not stay down," Lexie says while looking exhausted.

"Have you tried freezing fruit and putting it in any of the fresh food feeders for him? It might help with keeping his gums soothed." Caitlin says.

"I will have to try that!" Lexie says and thanks Caitlin for the tip. Nobody outwardly questions why Caitlin knows that but there are a few that give her quizzical looks when she offers pretty spot-on advice about a teething baby.

Once again, they end the practice and head their separate ways.

The following day is game day. The team all arrive in their own game-day attire. Caitlin walks in and goes to her locker. As she is going through her stuff she looks everywhere for her shoes.

Erika walks over. "Everything good CC?" She asks as Cait is looking through everything she has.

"No, I am somehow missing my shoes," she says as she scans through everything again.

Just as Caitlin is about to call you, Erika passes her her shoes. Caitlin mumbles a thank you and finishes getting ready.

The team heads out to warm up. The crowd is going crazy as it is one of the final games of the season. The team is warming up and Caitlin feels like there is something off. She finishes warm-ups and realizes she isn't wearing her headband to keep her fly-aways out of her face. She curses and then hears a familiar voice.

"Caitlin!" You try to get her attention, a little girl attached to your hip.

"MAMA!" Your little girl screams at the top of her lungs.

Caitlin can't help but smile as she makes eye contact with her little one. The smile on your child whenever she sees her mama is unmatched. Once you are close enough, you set your baby down and she goes running (waddling) over to Caitlin.

"Hi, little one!" Caitlin says as she picks up her child and attacks her with kisses.

You make your way to them and hand Caitlin her headband. "You forgot this," you say.

"Thanks, babe," She says as she gives you a little kiss.

Caitlin sets your little one down and she just looks up pointing at Caitlin's team. Caitlin lowers to her level and points at them with her.

"You know who they are," Caitlin says to her little one. Her little one claps with a smile. You come up behind her and scoop her up, knowing Caitlin needs to get back to her team. You give a little wave to Cait and your little one waves at her mama.

"Bye Mama!" she says continuing to wave her little arm from side to side.

Caitlin is still on a little cloud nine after seeing her little one before the game and that they brought her the one thing she needed that she completely forgot that her whole team was huddled right next to her.

"Mama?" Aliyah asks with a shocked expression.

"YOU HAVE A KID???" Erika comes barreling over in disbelief. "SINCE WHEN???"

"Well by the looks of her little one, looks like she is about a year and a half," Lexie says with a smile on her face. "Is that why you know so much about teething babies?"

"Ya, she has been on and off teething for a while now," Caitlin says with a little blush tinting her cheeks.

The team is all hooting and hollering as their coach calls them over to huddle before tip-off.

Caitlin wears a smile for the entirety of the huddle. It's not like Caitlin and you were trying to keep it a secret, it was mostly to keep her out of the eye of the media. But she was happy that the news was out to her team. It just means there are 14 other women who can speak into her daughter's life and love her.

As the team takes their place on the floor, Caitlin looks up to where you normally sit in the stands. It is the first time she sees you and little one in the crowd together.

When you notice Caitlin looking up at the two of you, you look down at your baby and point to her Mama. The little one begins to wave at Caitlin with a big smile. Caitlin smiles and blows her a kiss.

Caitlin begins to lock in to the game and wipes her shoes. She gives one final glance over to you and thinks, 'Ya, I can get used to this'.

AN: A little different but I really like how this turned out! I hope you do as well. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[persephoneincarnate-deathblooms]

i just finished the wwdits finale and i see some people defending the show against queerbait allegations and i thought that i would make something clear. a show can absolutely queerbait even if those characters are canonically queer. i’ve been watching wwdits for a while (since the 4th season dropped) and i got into because the marketing around the show had nandor and guillermo be the will they won’t they sitcom couple. the show purposefully market itself as queer when we see no mlm of wlw couple that has established screen time other than the episode with freddie. they purposefully marketed a queer couple that they did not intend to go through with and despite the characters themselves being queer, the show runners queerbaited because queerbait has to do with marketing. Personally, it truly does feel that they should have ended after season five because the season five arc was more grounded and had a more emotionally fulfilling ending. i truly did not need them together but i wanted emotional closure to their relationship. i understand that the great tragedy of vampires is that they never change. im a slut for anne rice vampires who could not get more messy. however they did establish arcs for the vampires that they just gave up on such as nandors search for love and his resentment towards being a vampire. a better ending could have had nandor using his last djinn wishes to become human and have guillermo and him go off to start their lives together (it doesn’t even have to be romantic this would give more payoff to these characters arcs). if we think about mockumentory comedies (abbot elementary, the office) or even just popular sitcoms (friends, b99, new girl) there is a central couple that entices viewers to watch (janie/gregory, pam/jim, ross/rachel, amy/jake, nick/jess) these characters aren’t together at the beginning of the show and you get to watch the progression of their relationship and wwdits established nandor and guillermo as their shows couple. i think it’s completely fair to levy the accusation of queerbait just due to the formula of these shows and the marketing of nandor and guillermo being a slowburn romance.

i don’t know how to end this other than i’m disappointed. once i calm down ill probably just write a fix-it-fic as in the true fandom way.

[wannabeschyulersister]

flash me (rooster x reader)

*based on the episode of new girl where Jess walks in on Nick*

“I have to move out.”

Natasha set her drink back on the table, “Did Bradshaw finally drive you crazy? I told you having him as a roommate would eventually make you want to pull your hair out. Is he leaving the toilet seat up all of the time?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Is he having too many “special” guests over?”

You shook your head, “Nope.”

“Then what happened?”

You looked around to see if any of the squad members were close enough to hear your conversation.

“Uh, I walked in on him.” You whispered.

Natasha leaned close, “What did you say? I can barely hear you.”

“I walked in on him in the bathroom.” You quickly said.

Your best friend looked a little confused, “Was he on the toilet?”

“I walked in on him naked!”

Natasha froze and the started laughing as if you said the funniest joke she’d ever heard. It annoyed you but you knew if situations were reversed you’d be laughing your ass off too.

Just then, Jake sidled up to you as if appearing out of nowhere, “I heard the word “naked” and Phoenix laughed so hard she has tears coming out. I have to get in on this conversation.”

“(Y/n) walked in on Bradshaw naked.” Natasha blurted out as she wiped away her tears.

You tried to pinch her but she moved out of your grasp, “I wasn’t trying to tell the whole damn bar!”

“I won’t say anything, sweets.” Jake promised, “Now, what did you see? A little backside? Full frontal?”

You looked down at your hands, “Uh both?”

“You poor lady. Seeing Bradshaw naked can be absolutely traumatic for anybody.” Jake joked.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not traumatized! I just can’t look him in the eyes anymore which makes our living situation awkward.”

“How did he react?”

“He tried to cover himself as much as he could but it was too late. This is why I always scold him to lock the damn bathroom door!”

“You know what you have to do right?” Jake asked.

“Move out, change my name and run to Europe.”

He chuckled at your plan, “No, sweets. You got to show him something of yours.”

“Hangman, you’re an idiot.” Natasha told him.

He ignored her, “Think about it. You’d be even and not at all embarrassed every time that you see him. A flash is all it takes.”

“Please don’t listen to him. You don’t have to flash Bradshaw. Just talk to him. Acknowledging how awkward it is and moving on like adults is the right thing to do.” Natasha gave sound advice that you should definitely listen to.

“Phoenix, that sounds like the logical thing to do but I might go with Jake’s plan.”

“Why do I even bother to give out advice?” Natasha mumbled to no one.

“I appreciate your advice but I feel like I’m always going to feel awkward if things are even.”

Before Natasha could respond with how ridiculous you were being, Bradley walked into the bar. He looked around and spotted you instantly. It wasn’t hard to detect the pink tint that dusted his cheeks.

Bradley went over to the bar and planted down on one of the stools. Any other time, he would’ve pulled up a chair with the three of you and joined in.

“See. I can’t live like this. Bradley won’t even sit with me now.”

“Wow, maybe you do need to flash him.” Natasha said.

“So, what are you going to do?” Jake asked. He was clearly enjoying this more than he should.

You wished that Bradley would’ve just locked the damn door that morning so you both would’ve avoided all of the mess.

“I guess I’m going to flash Bradley.”

[n-evermores]

By A Thread

Pairing: Alden Parker x NCIS!Reader Word Count: 6k+ Summary: Parker invites the reader to his cousin’s wedding, where unspoken feelings surface but end in rejection. Days later, a dangerous pursuit in the woods forces them to confront their feelings. Warnings: Age-gap romance A/N: A wedding scenario similar to Knight/Jimmy’s was requested about two years ago. I started writing it and couldn’t bring myself to find the right ending and it’s been stuck in my drafts. I finally decided to polish it up and finish it. This was a while back, which is why the beginning hints at Jimmy and Knight still keeping their relationship a secret. 

“Me and Delilah are taking the twins to the aquarium this weekend. They’re already so excited.” Tim grinned.

“Sounds like you’re a bit excited too,” Jess teased, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

McGee just shrugged, his grin widening. She was right, of course, his face lit up every time he spoke about it.

“I have big plans this weekend too. We’re going—” Jess hesitated, releasing a nervous laugh. “You know.”

“Going where?” you asked, already guessing her plans involved Jimmy. Everyone knew about their relationship, yet she continued to skirt around the topic like it was a big secret. Jess just shrugged, bringing her coffee cup to her lips to avoid answering.

Nick threw Jess a side-glance, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well, I’ve got plans too,” he announced with a shrug. “What about you? Any big plans this weekend?” He asked you.

“Nope. Just me, my couch, and Netflix,” you replied with a grin. The truth stung more than you liked to admit. You wished for something to break the monotony of your weekends. If you weren’t working, you were cooped up inside, watching TV. It was the same boring routine every weekend, and most days you silently hoped for a big case just to shake things up.

“No plans at all?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, you need to get out more. You’re like a hermit,” Nick teased, his tone light but he wasn't really joking. You never got out.

You sighed, half-laughing. “I go to the cafe sometimes. And on occasion, I take myself to the movies,” you countered lightly. “I just never have anywhere to go is all.”

“Would you like somewhere to go?” A familiar voice interjected.

You turned to see Parker rounding the corner, carrying a box of pastries. His eyes flickered with uncertainty as he studied your face. “My cousin’s getting married this weekend. I was invited. I could use a plus one.” He offered you a small, nervous smile.

Your heart swelled in your chest at the sight of his hopeful expression. “Will there be cake?” you asked, trying to keep the moment light.

“Well, yeah. It’s a wedding,” he replied, his gaze searching yours. “So? What do you say?”

You stared into his eyes, your resolve crumbling under their gentle intensity. “How could I say no to that face? Okay. Count me in,” you agreed, earning a fleeting look of curiosity from Parker.

As he set the box of sweets down on his desk, you wondered if you’d said the wrong thing. How could I say no to that face? Honestly you may as well tell him you think he's hot. But it was true. How could you say no to him when he looked at you like that?

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at a quarter to six on Saturday,” he said, grabbing a pastry from the box.

Your heart did a little flip, and you took a steadying breath. You’d always loved the group trivia nights at Parker’s place, but you’d longed for a chance to spend time with him alone. The last time was weeks ago when he took you birdwatching. You enjoyed it, but you needed more than just that day.

“You’re going to a wedding with Parker?” Nick leaned in, whispering just loud enough for you to hear. “You don’t think that’ll be a little awkward?”

You shrugged, brushing off his teasing. “No. Why would it be?”

Nick chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, try not to have too much fun. Parker might not be able to keep up.”

You just shook your head at Nick. You stole a glance at Parker and smiled, excited and nervous all at once. You couldn’t believe you were going somewhere formal with Parker. It almost felt like a date, but you quickly shoved that thought away.

It was not a date.

-

You stared at yourself in the mirror, scrutinizing your reflection. The cocktail dress was your favorite color, and it struck the perfect balance. It wasn’t too extravagant, but tasteful enough for a semi-formal event. Knight had offered you a long gown during your frantic search for the right outfit, but this felt more like you.

As you studied the curves of your body and the way the dress fit you like a glove, you wondered if Parker would like it. Or even notice it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the unease bubbling inside you. Meeting Parker’s family was intimidating enough. But more than that, the thought of being introduced as “just a friend” was a bittersweet reminder of your reality.

When the doorbell rang, you grabbed your clutch and hurried to open it. Parker stood there in a black suit with a crisp white button-down. His eyes widened slightly as he took you in.

“Wow. You look incredible,” he said, his voice soft.

You felt your cheeks heat under his gaze. “Well, look at you,” you replied with a smile, taking in how the suit complemented his already handsome face. God, he was just so good-looking, and you found yourself staring a little too long.

“Ready?” he asked, his hand brushing your elbow lightly as he gestured toward the car.

It wasn’t a date, you reminded yourself. But the way his hand lingered on your back as he guided you outside sent your heart racing.

Parker made small talk the entire way there, and you found yourself trying to relax as you tugged at your dress slightly. You were fine when he took you birdwatching, yet this felt different. The two of you, dressed nicely, attending a nice event with possible dancing. It was definitely different than birdwatching.

-

The venue was buzzing with laughter and chatter as Parker led you to your seats, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back. The brief contact was electric, and when it fell away, you missed it instantly.

You felt relief at spotting the familiar face of Roman. However, your relief was short-lived. Sitting next to him was Vivian, Parker’s ex-wife. The sight of her stirred an unwelcome pang of insecurity. You didn't want to feel that way. You liked Vivian, and you had little reason to feel the way you did, but you knew your irrational feelings had everything to do with your even more irrational feelings for Parker

“Dad, you didn’t tell me you were coming,” Parker said, his tone casual but edged with surprise.

“I wasn’t going to, but Viv convinced me,” Roman replied, nodding toward his companion.

Vivian smiled politely, but her gaze flickered to you, cool and appraising. The weight of her scrutiny made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You brought your hands to your lap, nervously fidgeting until Parker’s hand found yours, stilling your movements.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning in close enough for only you to hear.

“Yeah,” you lied, forcing a smile.

He removed his hand with a small nod. A few moments later, wedding music echoed off the walls and you all stood to welcome the bride as she walked down the aisle. 

You stole a glance at Vivian. She wasn't looking at you anymore, and you wondered if perhaps she was just as jealous of you as you were of her. She probably didn't expect to see Parker here with a woman. Or maybe she just didn't trust the situation.

After the newlyweds exchanged their vows, everyone made their way to the reception hall.

The reception was crowded, and you felt fine with Parker by your side, that was until he wasn’t anymoree. After the music began, and the newlyweds shared their first dance, couples began dancing together under soft lights. Your heart sank as you watched Parker and Vivian take to the floor. They moved effortlessly, their shared history evident in the way they laughed together.

A young man approached you, breaking your reverie. “Care to dance?” he asked, his smile probably charming to most, but you found it annoying considering your sudden sour mood.

You glanced at Parker, who gave you a small nod of encouragement from the dance floor. Pushing aside your disappointment, you placed your nearly empty glass of wine down and accepted the man’s hand.

He smiled at you, giving you a quick once over, “Is that your dad you came with?”

You felt heat rise to your face. “Um, no. We work together. His cousin is the bride.”

“Oh, I’m on the groom's side.” He said, twirling you gracefully before pulling you close again, his grip light yet steady. You tried to focus on the rhythm, but your mind wandered to Parker, his attention entirely on Vivian. The sight sent a dull pang through your chest, one you struggled to shake. After moments of going through the motions with your dance partner you were pulled from your thoughts.

"Having fun?" a familiar voice interrupted, startling you. You turned to see Parker, standing a little too close to ignore. His hazel eyes sparkled with amusement, and he extended a hand to you. "Mind if I cut in?"

Your dance partner hesitated but stepped aside, tipping his head politely. "She's all yours."

Parker’s hand settled comfortably on your waist, his other hand clasping yours. The warmth of his touch sent a ripple of awareness through you, one you hoped he didn’t notice.

Parker observed you, tilting his head slightly to study your face. His voice was soft, his gaze curious. “Something on your mind?”

You hesitated, your eyes darting briefly to your previous dance partner, who was now chatting animatedly with another guest near the edge of the dance floor. Parker followed your gaze, his lips curling into a teasing smirk.

“Ah,” he said, his tone playful. “Caught your eye, did he?”

Your face flushed instantly. “What? No!” you protested, far too quickly. “He just asked me to dance.” If only Parker knew it wasn't that stranger who caught your eye. It was him and your gaze has been unwavering ever since.

“Hmm,” Parker murmured, clearly unconvinced. His grin widened, and his gaze flickered back to you. “Then why are you so defensive?”

You rolled your eyes, desperately trying to deflect. “Well, what about you and Vivian? You two seem pretty close. It’s nice that you’re still good friends. That can’t be easy, considering, well, everything.”

Parker’s expression shifted slightly, his amusement giving way to something softer, more thoughtful. “Viv and I have a lot of history,” he admitted, his tone quieter now. “We didn’t end things on bad terms, so staying friends just made sense. She’s family, in a way. Her and my dad are still very close.”

You nodded, your fingers fidgeting slightly against his shoulder. “That’s admirable. Not every divorced couple can manage that.”

“It wasn’t easy at first,” Parker said with a small shrug. “But we found something that worked, and it’s been good since.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment you were too aware of the space, or lack thereof, between you two. The song shifted to something slower, the tempo almost forcing you to step closer. His hand on your waist tightened slightly and you reveled in it, even if it was just because of the dance.

“You’re still quiet,” Parker remarked again, his voice softer this time, almost a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze flickering away from his intense eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied, your voice not as steady as you’d hoped. “It’s just been a long day.”

Parker didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he held you a little closer, his thumb brushing absentmindedly along the fabric at your waist. “Well, in case I haven’t said it yet,” he murmured, his voice carrying a warmth that made your pulse quicken, “you look stunning tonight.”

Your cheeks heated again, and you couldn’t stop the small, bashful smile that tugged at your lips. “Thanks,” you said softly. He did say you looked incredible when he picked you up, but the way he spoke now just felt different. Did Parker find you attractive? He probably did, but was he attracted to you was the real question you wanted to know.

The rest of the dance passed in comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken feelings lingering between you. As the song ended and Parker reluctantly stepped back, you couldn’t help but wonder if he too felt that quiet pull, the unshakable connection.

But before you could dwell too long on the thought, Parker offered you a crooked smile. “C’mon,” he said, motioning toward the dessert table. “Let’s find something to indulge my sweet tooth.”

“Good, I can use another glass of wine too.” You said and followed him, your heart still fluttering.

At the dessert table, Parker carefully balanced two small plates piled high with slices of cake, his expression one of pure determination. You couldn’t help but laugh as he handed you one and grabbed a fork for himself. 

“What?” he asked, grinning as he caught your amused look. “I take dessert very seriously.”

“Clearly,” you teased, taking a small bite of the cake. It was rich, full of flavor, and just sweet enough to make you sigh with contentment. “Okay, I get it now. This is worth the hype.”

Parker chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on you for a beat too long before he spoke. “Told you. Weddings might not be my thing, but the cake always makes it worthwhile.”

You felt the heat of his attention and quickly took a sip of wine, the warmth spreading through your chest now more than just from the alcohol. Parker’s presence, his easy smile, the way he always seemed so effortlessly thoughtful, was starting to make your head spin. Or maybe that was the wine.

You finished your dessert, getting yet another glass of wine to wash it down all while Parker continued to eat, obviously not ready to let go of his sweets just yet. You found it cute how his face lit up while he ate. He leaned in conspiratorially. “Want to sneak out for a bit? I could use some fresh air.”

You nodded, grateful for the excuse to escape the crowd and the persistent ache of watching him interact with Vivian earlier. Together, you slipped outside into the crisp night air, the sound of laughter and music fading as the two of you wandered toward a quiet garden behind the venue.

The stars above sparkled like tiny diamonds, their brilliance mirrored in the soft glow of the fairy lights strung through the trees. You hugged your arms to yourself, more for comfort than warmth, as Parker fell into step beside you.

“You okay?” he asked gently, his voice breaking the comfortable silence. “I know I sound like a broken record, but you really have been quieter than usual.”

You hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress. The wine was making you bolder than usual, and for a moment, you considered brushing off his question. But Parker was looking at you with that familiar mix of curiosity and concern, and it made your chest ache.

“It’s nothing,” you said, though your voice didn’t carry much conviction. You gestured vaguely toward the sky. “Just one of those nights, I guess. Too much wine I suppose.”

Parker’s brow furrowed slightly, and he stopped walking, turning to face you fully. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Your laugh came out softer than you intended, almost wistful. “That’s the thing, Parker. Sometimes you make it hard to not tell you everything.”

He tilted his head, his expression shifting to something you couldn’t quite read. “Why’s that?”

You glanced away, staring at the stars as if they held the answer. “You’re just always kind to me and always patient with me. Albeit, a little sarcastic," You snorted, and Parker turned to look down at you with mirth in his eyes.

"Did you just use the word albeit?"

You shot him a glare, "As I was saying. You do things like invite me to a wedding just so I wouldn’t spend another weekend cooped up alone.” You trailed off, realizing you were rambling. “You’re just you.”

Parker’s lips quirked into a small smile, his voice soft when he spoke. “I don’t think you realize how easy you make it for me.”

Your gaze snapped to his, your heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

“You,” he said simply, as though the words had always been there, just waiting to be said. “I enjoy your company.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment, you felt like the ground had shifted beneath your feet. You swallowed hard, your pulse hammering in your ears. The wine buzzed in your system, loosening your tongue just enough for the truth to slip out.

“Sometimes I think I like spending time with you a little too much,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Parker’s eyes widened slightly. You knew you said too much. He blinked, surprise flickering across his face as if he hadn’t quite heard you right. He stared at you for a beat longer than was comfortable, his fork frozen mid-air over his slice of cake.

“Um,” he started slowly, his voice tinged with uncertainty, “are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You froze, realizing too late how much your words had revealed. The weight of his gaze made your chest tighten. “I didn’t mean,” you stammered, your cheeks burning. “Look, just forget I said anything, okay?”

He didn’t respond right away, his fork finally lowering to his plate. His brows knitted together, and for a moment, he looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Instead, his gaze flickered away from you, toward the stars above, his thoughts clearly racing.

“I’m sorry,” you added quickly, “I’ve had too much wine. That’s all. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/N,” Parker interrupted gently, his voice still low but insistent. His eyes met yours again, and you could see the hesitation in them, the cautious way he was picking through his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t, well, it’s just,” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, his usual calm demeanor visibly shaken. “You’re younger than me. I’m your boss. It’s—”

“Complicated,” you finished for him, your lips pressing into a small, strained smile. “I know. Trust me, I know. That’s why I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it, okay?”

He stared at you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he turned his attention back to his dessert, his fork clinking softly against the plate. You did the same with your wine, the tension between you palpable as you both sat in silence. The sweetness of the cake and wine felt muted now, the air between you too thick with everything unsaid.

You felt like such an idiot. How could you be so stupid to insinuate such a thing to your team leader, to a man clearly old enough to be your father? You wanted to walk into the night and just disappear into a void of nothing. It was embarrassing.

After a few moments, Parker finally broke the silence. “You’re asking me to forget something that I’m not sure I can,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost as if he were talking to himself.

You glanced at him, startled by the confession. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice cautious. Was he trying to admit he felt something too, or was your mind playing tricks on you?

He set his fork down as he met your gaze again. There was a vulnerability in his expression now, one you weren’t used to seeing from him. “Just,” he began slowly, carefully, “that I’ve thought about this before. About you. And I’ve told myself over and over again that it’s better to leave it alone. That it’s just easier that way.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “And now?”

He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he looked away again, his eyes scanning the garden like he might find the answer hidden in the foliage. “Now, I don’t know,” he said honestly. 

His words hit you like a tidal wave, but before you could respond, he shook his head, a small, humorless laugh escaping him. “I’m sorry,” he said, his tone softer now, almost apologetic. “This isn’t fair to you.”

“Parker,” you interrupted, your voice firm despite the tremble in your hands. “Don’t apologize. Please.”

He looked at you again, his expression conflicted. “You’re right. It’s complicated,” he said after a long pause. “And I need to think hard before I say or do something I can’t take back.”

You nodded, your chest aching as you forced a small smile. “I get it,” you said softly. “Really, I do.”

For a while, the two of you sat there in the quiet garden in silence. The weight of the conversation lingered between you, unspoken but impossible to ignore. And though nothing had been resolved, the air between you seemed different.

-

The drive back was quiet.

The sound of the engine and Parker's choice of music filled the space between you, neither of you daring to break the silence. Parker’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles faintly pale against the leather. You stole a glance at him, noticing the way his jaw was clenched, like he was deep in thought or maybe fighting with himself.

You weren’t sure what to say, and honestly, you weren’t sure if you should say anything at all. The tension from earlier still hung in the air, thick and heavy, leaving you to pick nervously at the hem of your dress.

When Parker pulled up outside your apartment building, the car rolled to a stop, and for a moment, neither of you moved. The quiet stretched, the weight of unspoken words settling in your chest. Finally, he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, moving to your side to open the door for you.

The two of you walked to your door in silence, the sound of your heels clicking softly against the pavement the only thing breaking the stillness.

When you reached your apartment door, you turned to face him, clutching your clutch tightly in both hands. Parker stood just a step away, his hands buried deep in his pockets, his shoulders slightly hunched like he was bracing himself against the night chill, or maybe his own thoughts.

“Good night,” he said finally, his voice low and steady.

“Good night,” you replied softly.

He hesitated, his eyes meeting yours, as if searching for something. Then, before you could react, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek. It was soft, tentative, and yet it sent a jolt of warmth through you that made your breath catch.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” he murmured, his lips just barely brushing your skin as he pulled back.

The moment lingered awkwardly, both of you standing too close, and neither of you willing to step away. The air between you felt voltaic, and your heart pounded in your chest as his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“Parker,” you started, your voice unsteady, but you didn’t get the chance to finish.

His hands reached up, seizing your face with a sudden urgency that made your breath hitch. And then his lips were on yours, hard and demanding, his kiss stealing the words from your mouth and replacing them with something far more primal.

Your clutch dropped to the floor as your hands instinctively found their way to his chest, clutching the fabric of his suit jacket as you kissed him back just as fiercely. The world around you disappeared, the only thing that mattered was the way his lips moved against yours, the warmth of his hands on your skin. You moaned into the kiss, pushing yourself flush against him. Your back hit the door, his hands moving to your waist to grip the fabric of your dress. You closed your eyes as he stippled soft kisses down your neck, and you buried your fingers in his hair.

But just as quickly as it began, it ended. Parker pulled back abruptly, his breathing unsteady, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment longer before falling away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, his voice rough, filled with equal parts regret and something deeper, something raw. He took a shaky step back, running a hand through his hair. “Good night.”

Before you could respond, he turned and walked away, his pace brisk, almost hurried. You stood frozen in place, watching him retreat to his car, your heart pounding and your lips still tingling from the kiss.

When he climbed into his car and drove off, you let out a shaky breath, finally letting yourself move. You unlocked your door and stepped inside, closing it behind you with a soft click. You leaned back against it and let out a long sigh, your head tilting back as you tried to process what had just happened.

Your fingers brushed your lips and then your neck, the memory of his kiss still fresh, still vivid. You could still feel the roughness of his beard against your skin, and the way his lips left soft kisses down your neck. You shivered at the recollection, yet he ripped himself from you too easily. You had no idea what this meant. What any of it meant but you knew one thing for sure.

 Work was going to be interesting.

. 

The next workday felt different, though you weren’t sure if it was real or just in your head. Parker had come in as he usually did, setting a box of pastries on his desk for the team, a small gesture of normalcy that only seemed to highlight how not normal things felt now.

The team gathered like clockwork, drawn to the smell of freshly baked goods, but you lingered at your desk, unwilling to engage too quickly.

Jessica Knight grabbed a pastry first, taking a big bite before leaning casually against Parker’s desk. “So,” she started, her voice light and curious, “how was the wedding?”

Parker, who was in the midst of placing his jacket over his chair, froze for the briefest of moments. He recovered quickly, straightening and offering a tight smile. “Good,” he said simply, his tone clipped.

Knight raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting more. “That’s it? Just ‘good’? I figured with you dragging Y/N along, there’d be some kind of funny story.”

Your heart lurched at the mention of your name, and you busied yourself with your computer screen, pretending to be engrossed in an email.

“Nope,” Parker said quickly, almost too quickly. “It was a nice wedding.” He cleared his throat and turned back to his files, signaling the end of the conversation.

But Nick wasn’t about to let it go. “So,” he called out with a sly grin. “How about you? Did you have fun?”

You froze, your hands pausing mid-typing as all eyes turned to you. You forced a smile, keeping your gaze firmly on your computer screen. “Yeah,” you said, your voice slightly too bright. “It was nice.”

The tension in the room was visible, and you could feel everyone’s curiosity like a weight pressing down on you. Knight’s gaze lingered, her sharp eyes darting between you and Parker, but for once, she didn’t press further.

Nick, however, let out a low whistle. “Okay, well, that was awkward,” he said with a chuckle, grabbing another pastry.

You muttered something about needing coffee and quickly excused yourself, heading for the break room and praying no one followed. All you could think about was the kiss and Parker's retreating form as he scurried away from you like a mouse from a cat. How were you supposed to work with him when you couldn't even look at him anymore?

-

The rest of the day passed in a blur, though you were painfully aware of every moment Parker spent in the same room as you. He didn’t try to talk to you, not that you gave him much of a chance. You avoided his gaze, kept your responses brief, and made yourself as inconspicuous as possible.

But as the afternoon wore on, you couldn’t avoid him forever.

You stepped into the elevator on your way to drop off some files, only for the doors to slide open again almost immediately. Parker stepped inside, his presence filling the small space and making the air feel heavier.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone cautious.

You nodded stiffly, keeping your eyes on the glowing panel of floor numbers.

The silence stretched, thick and unbearable, until Parker suddenly reached over and hit the emergency stop button. The elevator jolted to a halt, and the lights dimmed slightly, bathing the small space in a muted glow.

You turned to him, startled. “What are you doing?”

“Yeah,” he began, his voice steady but low, “we need to talk about last night.”

“There’s no need,” you said quickly, your voice sharp as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s fine. Just leave it.”

He stepped closer, his brow furrowed, his hands clenched at his sides. “It’s not fine,” he said firmly. “I crossed a line, and I need to apologize for that.”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and something deeper. “Don’t apologize again.”

He blinked, taken aback by the bitterness in your tone. "I was out of line.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that.” you snapped, your words coming out harsher than you intended. “Just drop it, okay? Pretend it didn’t happen. You’re my boss, and it’s complicated, and I get it. I get it, Parker.”

The hurt in your voice was undeniable, and Parker’s expression shifted, guilt flickering across his face. He opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head, holding up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” you said quietly, your voice breaking slightly.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, the silence heavy with all the things you weren’t saying. Finally, Parker nodded, his jaw tightening as he reached out to release the emergency stop. The elevator jolted back to life, the lights returning to full brightness as the hum of movement filled the space once more.

When the doors slid open, you stepped out without a word, your heart pounding in your chest as you walked away. This time you were like the mouse running from the cat and you couldn't bring yourself to look back.

And Parker? He stayed behind in the elevator, leaning back against the wall and running a hand over his face, the weight of what happened pressing down on him like a tidal wave.

-

The next time you and Parker said anything to each other was on the field. You mostly kept things professional, but now you were knee deep in a new case, and you had no choice but to interact.

Your suspect was hiding away somewhere in a cabin, and you and Parker went to question them. Of course, they ran off into the woods, only making themselves look more guilty.

"We've got a runner!" You shouted as you took off after them. You were fast, but the suspect obviously knew the woods better than either of you, navigating the trails with ease.

The sound of snapping branches and heavy breathing filling the air as you chased the suspect through the uneven terrain. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, the pounding of your boots against the forest floor matched the thudding of your heart. Parker was just a few steps behind you. You didn’t slow down.

The suspect glanced over his shoulder, his eyes wild as he realized how close you were. He darted to the left, trying to lose you in the dense trees, but you pushed harder, your legs burning as you closed the distance between you. You heard Parker call your name, telling you to be careful, but you didn’t stop.

You caught up to him just as he stumbled over a fallen log. Launching yourself forward, you tackled him to the ground. He let out a grunt of surprise, but before you could pin him fully, he twisted beneath you, throwing an elbow that knocked the wind out of you. You gasped, trying to recover, but he was quick. He shoved you off, scrambling to his feet as you fought to regain yours.

Parker’s voice called from somewhere behind you, but you barely registered it. The suspect turned on you again, swinging wildly. You ducked, countering with a punch to his side that made him stagger. You went to grab him, but with a sudden burst of strength, he shoved you hard.

Your foot slipped on the damp earth, and before you could find your balance, you felt your body lurch backward. The world tilted, and suddenly you were falling. The edge of the embankment crumbled beneath you, and you plummeted down a small ledge, crashing into the freezing rush of the river below.

The icy water hit you like a brick wall, stealing the breath from your lungs as the current dragged you under. You fought to break the surface, your limbs thrashing as the water pushed and pulled at you mercilessly. Panic set in as you struggled to stay afloat, the roar of the river filling your ears.

“Y/N!” Parker’s voice cut through the chaos, and through the blur of water and adrenaline, you saw him at the edge of the riverbank. His eyes were wide with fear as he searched for you, his weapon already holstered, his pursuit of the suspect completely abandoned.

Without hesitation, Parker leapt into the water. The current dragged at him immediately, but he fought against it, his desperate strokes propelling him toward you. You managed to grab onto a jagged rock protruding from the water, clinging to it desperately as he closed the distance.

“Hold on!” he shouted, his voice strained.

When he finally reached you, his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you free from the rock and against his chest. You could feel the strength in his grip as he fought to keep both of you above water, his breath ragged as he swam toward the shore.

After what felt like an eternity, Parker dragged you onto the muddy riverbank, collapsing beside you as the two of you gasped for air. Your body trembled violently, both from the cold and the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

“Y/N,” Parker rasped, his voice shaky as he sat up and pulled you into his arms. “Oh, thank God. Thank God you’re okay.”

You sank against him, your head resting on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you tightly, like he couldn’t bear to let go. His hand brushed over your face, wiping away the wet strands of hair clinging to your skin as his eyes searched yours.

“I thought I lost you,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

Your heart ached at the raw emotion in his words, and without a second thought, you reached up, your hand brushing his cheek. His gaze softened, and before you could even process what was happening, the two of you leaned in at the same time, your lips crashing together in a desperate, breathless kiss.

The kiss was messy, urgent, and filled with days of yearning since your last one. His hands cupped your face as you gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, neither of you caring about the mud or the cold. The kiss was pure, unspoken emotion, a silent confirmation of everything that had been building between you.

When you finally broke apart, you pressed your foreheads together as you tried to catch your breath. The world felt quieter now, the roar of the river fading into the background. Parker’s thumb brushed over your cheek, his eyes searching yours as if to make sure you were really okay.

You broke the silence first, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “If you apologize again, I swear I’m going to throw you in the river.”

A startled laugh burst from him, the tension breaking as he smiled down at you. “Noted,” he said, his voice warm with amusement.

And then he kissed you again, slower this time, his lips lingering on yours like he wanted to savor every second. As your arms wrapped around each other, the chaos of the day faded into the background. For now, this moment was all that mattered.

[ddejavvu]

Hi i love your sirius/remus x animagus!reader,,, can you please write james potter x animagus(squirrel) reader?

James always carries nuts such as acorns and sunflower seeds to give her🥹❤️ just pure fluff please

made me think of that one new girl scene where nick opens jess's bedside table and finds her night peanuts

--

When Remus is instructed to fish James's scarf out of 'his bedside drawer', he reaches for the top one. Because of course he does, because who is asked to open someone's bedside drawer and chooses the bottom one? Of course James meant the top one, otherwise he would have specified the bottom one.

He does not mean the top one.

Instead of knitwear, Remus finds a disastrous array of- nuts? Nuts and raisins and berries and seeds, for god's sake, in James's top bedside drawer. Loose. Filling the entire space.

He stands frozen, hand still clutching the knob to the drawer.

"James," He says, voice calm and cool, "Why are there nuts in your nightstand?"

Sirius snickers, makes some joke about 'forgetting to put them in his pants this morning', but Remus doesn't react. He can't react, he's petrified solid in his spot by the sight of James's strange collection.

"Oh, that? That's for m'girlfriend." James answers, like it's an explanation. Like it solves the problem, like it answers Remus's many, many question; 'Oh, right! His girlfriend, that makes sense. 'Cause she's a squirrel.

"Is she a squirrel?" Remus voices his thoughts aloud, tone bitter and tight.

James's shoulders tense slightly, raising towards his ears, and he nods slowly, "Uh, yeah, actually. 'Finished the transformation last week."

Oh.

"Oh," Remus's eyes are still roving over the heap of sunflower seeds and dried cranberries but he forces himself to shut the door, "So- so, what, she sleeps in there, or something?"

James laughs, a guffaw as he grins at Remus, "Don't be ridiculous, Moony, I don't make my girlfriend sleep in my nightstand. I've been taking a handful with me to class every day so she can snack."

Only James Potter would think that sleeping would be more ridiculous than scooping a pile of nuts into his pocket every morning before class for his girlfriend who can turn into a squirrel.

"Right." Is all that Remus can manage, and he goes through the motions of retrieving James's scarf from the bottom drawer this time, "Here's your scarf, Prongs."

"Thanks, mate." James nods, catching it when Remus tosses it in his direction. He's getting ready to head down to Hogsmeade to meet with you, and Remus briefly wonders if James already has a pocket full of raisins.

"You heading down with us?" James asks, watching Remus gather his jumper, slipping it on over the white tank he'd slept in.

"No," Remus shakes his head, stuffing his feet into his shoes and ducking his head as he beelines for the door, "I'm going to the hospital wing; All of a sudden I need a cure for a headache."

[sturniolo04]

I Promise I'm Scared m.s.

bf!matt x gf!reader

A/n: remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

Dividers: @issysh3ll

You knew every since you started dating matt that daily nights on the ice was part of his daily routine. Although for you the ice was not something you wanted to try knowing you were going to fall a billion times because I you simply dont know how to skate.

Which brings you to tonight which was the night that you and sister, Jess needed to film youtube content and ultimately decided to go learn how to ice skate for the content you guys were needing.

"i thought we wouldve never gotten chloe on the ice let alone jess too"

chris chuckles as they finally are all on the ice getting used to the dynamic of it all. Not only was matt and avid skater but also was his triplet brothers nick and chris which also made this vlog iconic because you had multiple support systems considering you knew you were bound to get injured.

"see its not so bad chlo is it"

matt chuckles as you begin to slowly skate around the Ice rolling your eyes slightly.

"yeah i guess its not so bad but I'm not going any faster than this"

you giggle out as matt attempts to skate a little faster holding on to his waist in the process.

"oh my god its rose and jack from titanic"

your sister, jess exclaims as nick and chris simple chuckle at the statement. You and matt skate over to where they were standing you couldn't help but giggle into the recording camera the jess was holding. you couldn't lie you felt more confident with your beginner skating skills. too confident

"let me hop up on you now"

you state confidently to matt as you raise your arms up for him to pick you up.

"thats dangerous"

nick mumbles under his breath.

"ready"

matt simply asks as you nod your head. you genuinely didn't think matt would put you in physical danger on the ice. in fact you simply thought he was just simply going to hold you and not attempt to skate forward.

" no no no i promise let me down"

you squeal out as matt began to skate away from the group

"Matt i promise im scaredd"

you continue to squeal.

"MATT"

jess screams noticing the slight stumble forward. she knew they were going to fall.

"matt i said i promise why would you do that"

you pout out as chris, nick and your sister come over to you laughing at the fact you two had toppled over on the ice and beginning to skate over to you guys.

"you told me you wanted to hop up on me"

matt exclaims chuckling standing up to help you up slowly.

"yeah but not move"

you whine out accepting his helping hand to get up.

"you guys are stupid"

chris chuskles out as nick continues to laugh.

"yeah dumb move guys"

jess states immediately falling afterwards causing everyone to laugh.

Taglist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi

[aliusfrater]

which extracurriculars did sam take in high school

hi nick well in canon he did football (soccer), theatre (tech stuff + that unspecified role in 'our town'), mathletics, and curated his own activities (his self-made summer reading list) so i like to think:

he did other kid-typical stuff for tryhard students like a spelling bee or maybe even joined a few quiz teams but despite having the potential and skill he never ended up competing beyond the county the school was in 'cause he'd end up leaving before it could ever progress to that point

he was casually into chess throughout his whole childhood and it eventually became a thing he and jess would play when spending time together in their apartment

he really poured himself into a sport from time to time because 1) he thought an activity like that would be something that could make john more inclined towards him and his interests and 2) regardless, john counted it as exercise so he'd be able to spend less time at 'home' because of practice and he'd get out of hunter training. i think he mostly stuck to football but some other sports i think are sort of samish are track and field (long distance, specifically), tennis, and badminton

related to the last one but i want this to have its own bullet point <3 i have a headcanon that once, in the middle of a growth spurt, sam was at a particular school for longer than usual because it was the end of the year and dean wasn't in school anymore. dean had a girlfriend who was a senior on the cheer team and she was pretty cool with sam. not close friends, but if sam was making dinner and she was home with dean, he'd make three servings, that kind of thing. anyway one of the guys on the cheer team hurt himself in another sport, and they needed someone his height to fill in for the last couple weeks of practice and performances since the guy who couldn't be there was a senior and they'd shift stuff around next year anyway. sam heard her ranting about how stressful it was to dean and he rationalised that even though he'd never done that stuff before nor was he super interested, he wasn't in any other extracurriculars at this particular school and he liked her company + was sure dean would appreciate it. he was a little younger than everyone else on the team but he remembers the experience as being very welcoming and working very well for talking about teamwork on his university applications

he'd sometimes charge his schoolmates money to do their essays because it was a guaranteed job no matter which town john dragged them to

(i think i've posted about this before but) i looove to think he was a weird 90s computer kid. i love to think he did something adjacent to robotics

when he wasn't in school, he'd just hangout at libraries until he made friends with the librarians whom he'd talk about whatever book he'd chosen to read. sometimes they gave him fake homework for the books, which he enjoyed

he liked to join history clubs because beyond preferring the humanities, they always got into local museums for free during club trips which worked well for john's 'budget'

[beau-bunny]

I think because Aphmau is a self-insert character, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what her personality is, because her personality is just…Jess’s personality. If a little different. Which makes it hard for me to get into Aphmau’s head, to see exactly how she works, what makes her tick—it doesn’t come naturally to me at all, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t alone in that regard

Now that I’m finally working on my MCD rewrite, I really want to make sure I get Aphmau’s personality right, especially since she’s literally the protagonist character and likely the most common POV I’ll be using. I want to find a way to copy how watching her POV in-game felt, and make it so that it feels the same when I’m writing the fic. Lately, it hasn’t been feeling the same at all, and that’s mostly intentional, since I want her to evolve into the “unintentionally badass” woman that she is in the canon series. I want her to start off as kind of bright-eyed and naive, similar to Mystreet!Aphmau, as a newcomer to the world whose never seen a lick of war and violence in her life. Mainly because I know she’s going to be exposed to all of that later and fundamentally changed by it. But as I’m studying canon MCD Aphmau and trying to break down everything she does, how she thinks, the choices she makes and the patterns therein that define her, what choices she doesn’t make and what that says about her as a person… I think I have already strayed too far from the original in places.

Additionally, though Aphmau was still significantly emotionally affected by every little heinous thing that happened to her and her people, throughout season 1 she didn’t experience any sudden shift in who she was as a person. I’ve yet to finish rewatching season 2, so I could be wrong, but to me, it more seems like she held herself together and stayed largely the same person. But she was being slowly chipped away emotionally by everything that got added to the pile. From Brendan getting shot to Aaron’s death, it’s like there’s a million different little nicks and cuts in her mental health and psyche that have simply built up over time. Some of those scars are larger than others, like the 15 year timeskip and losing Aaron/Garroth/Laurance, but they all weigh on her psyche and make her progressively more anxious, more careful, more…traumatized? She’s traumatized and she’s not. I’d like to at least headcanon her as traumatized, probably severely by season 3. I’d like to think she’s a woman with the whole entire world on her shoulders and a million ghosts haunting her wherever she goes, and all of this leads to a great deal of stress and anxiety in her day-to-day life that she’s just kinda… Living With. She muscles through it. She keeps going. There are even moments I’m noticing in canon where she doesn’t allow herself to fully dwell on her grief and stress, saying it’s “selfish” to let them consume her, and then moving on to check on literally everyone else in the village and make sure they’re okay first.

Aphmau is a character that’s hard to understand in the broad strokes, like how you can see Laurance’s broad strokes of “Casanova” and “fiercely loyal” and “in love with Aphmau” and make a pretty easy surface mold of what he’s like. It’s like every other character has at least one or two giant, broad strokes of paint on the wall that distinguish them as unique.

Garroth is a gentleman, Kiki loves her animals and can be stubbornly gullible. Donna is sassy, Dale is an alcoholic, Katelyn is fierce, Travis is playful and flirtatious, Aaron is brooding and guarded, Logan has a stick up his ass, so on and so forth. But they all have really easy to find smaller pieces that you can find and study as well. MCD!Katelyn is much more calm and reserved and proper than her Mystreet counterpart, and on occasion waxes philosophical and drinks tea. Kiki has always wanted to be a mother. Brendan is a horse girl. Garroth is terrible at being ~romantically forward~ like Laurance is, and instead he gets flustered and stuttery and shy and struggles to talk about his feelings with others. Laurance is gentle and caring and will tenderly take care of you and nurse you back to health with a mature, gentle warmth that puts his cocky Casanova personality aside, still flirting and teasing every now and then, but only for the purpose of cracking a joke that would make you smile. And then he reminds you right after how fondly he loves you and how he will never, not ever, leave your side.

Laurance grew up not knowing how to talk to girls, and Sasha was the only female friend he could actually speak to and connect with. Garroth checks on Aphmau in the mornings, asking how she slept and reporting back to her on all the duties she has to tend to for the day. Dale is a brilliant accountant, and that’s his calling in life. Zoey used to regularly prepare tea for Aphmau at night to help her sleep. Logan helped Zoey raise Levin and Malachi during the 15 year timeskip and “secretly” very much loves children. You can find all the little kernels of character and personality and heart in all of them.

But for MCD!Aphmau, it’s like she has one single broad stroke. “Helps others, kind, caring.” And everything else is invisible to me. Mystreet!Aphmau might have a second broad stroke, of “silly and childish and whimsical,” a stroke that MCD!Aphmau has much less of. It’s still there, she still teases and cracks dumb jokes on occasion, but it’s dwarfed in comparison by MCD’s more serious, mature tone and the sheer emotional weight of everything she keeps going through. It’s hard to be silly and have stupid fun when you’re fighting for your life, so in a way, MCD!Aphmau had to grow up in a way that Mystreet!Aphmau never had to. Mystreet!Aphmau’s worst problem (before emerald secret) is “oh no! which cute boy am I gonna date?! Gene is so mean to me in highschool!! Gawd, I wish my mom would let me bring boys home without making it weird, jeez.” She gets to keep her innocence. She doesn’t have to grow up and face the brutality of killers and monsters and the cruelty of the gods, and even after When Angels Fall, I don’t see her heavily maturing and growing as serious as MCD!Aphmau already is on main.

So if MCD!Aphmau has one single broad stroke that, for a protagonist, is actually vague as hell to work with, then maybe she’s a character who is revealed by all the little things that slip through the cracks. Maybe I can paint a picture of what she’s truly, really like (not what I want her to be like) by looking at all the little things, and then working inwards from there,,,

I know she’s at the very least a good person. A very good person. Better than canon Garroth, who has far too many asshole tendencies for my liking after the whole Incel Hell Irene Dimension fiasco (also why the FUCK is he racist—) Better than canon Laurance, better than most people honestly. Which is kind of the point, as an Irene. She’s supposed to be inherently a good, pure-hearted soul, whose destiny and sole calling in life is to help everyone around her. She seems to display a great fear and distress over violence and war. She’s always anxious and freaking the fuck out when she’s in combat (during S1), and building up to the Phoenix War, she was absolutely mortified by the idea of going to war, and yet that distress NEVER boiled over into cowardice. She always chose what was right and stuck to it, stubbornly. Even when faced with the worst of dilemmas, she refuses to succumb to her fear and run away, or pick the easy (and scummy) way out. She cares a great deal about the greater good, even if it comes at a devastating cost to achieve, and by god, she’ll achieve it. When presented with the option of fight or flight, she NEVER picks flight. So she’s brave? Has a strong natural sense of justice? Would she ever make cruel sacrifices, if it was for a greater good? I think I at least know that if I presented her with the option of “kill Garroth and Laurance, or save the entire world,” she would refuse the dilemma entirely and go to EXTREME lengths to forge a third option where she gets to keep the world AND her boys, and everyone comes out unharmed. (And in my mind, this is what distinguishes her from the old Irene…)

She is a herald for peace, above anything else. When Scaleswind destroyed her home as an act of violent rage, she didn’t seek revenge or even allow herself to feel vitriol or resentment for the man that attacked her people. Instead, she (cautiously and hesitantly) accepted his pleas for forgiveness if it meant she could have peace for Phoenix Drop. She held him accountable for his crimes, yes, but she forgave him, trusted him with the Phoenix Drop Alliance, and even trusted him with her people. All the while reiterating to him that she is an agent working for peace, and he needs to get on her level if he wants her forgiveness. She even offers care and aid to all of the rotten O’khasis knights that still swear their fealty to Zane. She brings them to court for their crimes, but she also offers them her care and a place to stay if they need it. She believes in justice, but not cruel retribution. The moral high ground isn’t a weapon she uses to bludgeon others with. She draws her strength by pulling others up with her. Even putting her trust in those unworthy of it at times, but that then inspires them to make better choices and pledge themselves to her cause. Even if you were a horrible, terrible person, she refuses to be downright cruel. It’s very rare to see her anger get the best of her (not that I don’t doubt that has happened at least once or twice in the series, I’m just saying it’s not her go-to choice when resolving any conflict). She will always give people the benefit of the doubt.

I know she struggles with sleeping problems, mainly due to her stress. She did for most of the latter quarter of S1 and when I skipped ahead and watched a few snippets of S2, she was STILL bringing up how poorly she slept last night, so like. You could make a case that she has insomnia. She could have insomnia. And PTSD but that’s a given

She finds babies absolutely adorable and has strong maternal instincts. (a connection between this and her great care for Phoenix Drop as a whole could possibly be strung… I don’t think “maternal instincts” is at all why she helps PD though. I think she just does that…because…you should. Because it’s the right thing to do. Obviously. If given the choice to be kind and help someone, she will always pick that choice, because,,,she just does)

you could make an argument that she has dyslexia. if you made a drinking game out of every time she flubbed reading the lines on the screen you would keel over and die by episode 15 I think.

you could make an argument that she needs glasses because Jess wears glasses for the first little while of S1 before she seems to have switched to contacts for the rest of the aphverse

She loves animals and has more animals than she has children

She seems very slow to develop romantic feelings for anyone. I think she only really started to develop little bits of romantic feelings for Garroth come late S1, and for Laurance probably like. around episode 95ish if you’re pushing it early, but honestly she probably only developed feelings for him after the entirety of season 1. after Laurance and her had already become very close and intimate on a platonic level. And any of his flirtatious advances prior to that she CONSISTENTLY responded to with flat out rejection, disgust, exasperation and annoyance with zero romance in sight. meanwhile she’s been very affectionate with Zoey from the beginning and is much more sweet and domestic with her than any of the boys, so like. I can definitely see where all the aroace spectrum aphmau headcanons in the fandom are coming from now and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was some form of demiromantic as well, but that’s straying out of canon aphmau territory and into headcanon land

Her worst fear, confirmed by Malachi, is seeing the entire village be burned to the ground with everyone she loves inside. Seeing Garroth and Laurance and every single villager murdered before she can do anything to stop it. She’s scared of losing them (and wow guess exactly what ends up happening… Garroth gets lost in the Irene dimension…Laurance becomes a cold and cruel shadow knight and she loses him to the nether… Aaron dies and becomes the shadow lord… girlie can just not win. and I’d like to explore more of the deep emotional impact that could’ve had on her—your worst fear is losing everyone you loved, seeing them get torn out of your hands brutally and violently, and..that happens. that happens to her anyway. to all of her boys, individually. there’s no way that’s not traumatic and emotional as hell for her) maybe you could even play into the idea that she has abandonment issues…

Every now and then she shows a few signs of toxic positivity and emotional repression. “Smile and be happy, focus on the work that’s important right now instead of completely and utterly crumbling under the weight of my grief and trauma” type shit. I feel like I can’t help but notice a running pattern that she keeps being presented with dialogue options that are emotionally vulnerable and intimate in some way, usually ones that progress her relationships with others (both romantically and platonically) and express a great deal of care or feeling…and then there’s the exposition dump dialogue option that continues her constant search for information that furthers the plot, and she often chooses that instead. Like for example, in one dialogue option with Aaron, she doesn’t say, “I really care about you, please, can’t you trust me?” Instead, she chooses to say, “What will you do?” Which is much more business talk as opposed to spilling her heart out to people. She seems to apologize for herself whenever she expresses a heightened amount of emotion, especially if it’s sadness or grief or anger, and again, I’d like to point to her taking 90+ fucking episodes to allow herself to feel any sort of intimacy with Laurance, the very man who has been constantly showering her with affection, and not just the dumb flirty stuff!! But like deep, sincere proclamations of “you matter to me,” and “I’ll never leave your side” and “you are my world, aphmau”!!! Bro I would have MELTED into his arms 70 fucking episodes ago if I met a man that talked to me like he does!! But she doesn’t!! SHE KEEPS HIM AT ARMS LENGTH!! THATS NOT NORMAL!!! Especially when EVERY OTHER character in the cast keeps falling in love at first sight. (so intimacy issues? trust issues? probably not trust issues. fear? too much on her mind? demiromantic ?? or probably a mix of all of the above + a dash of headcanon for the sexuality part)

And it’s so fascinating to see what she could say, but doesn’t. And sometimes you’ll even see her hesitate over the other, more intimate dialogue options, and then decide otherwise. It’s utterly fascinating to think that a character hugely defined by her heart might struggle with vulnerability.

She also hesitates over funny options a lot but decides against them because the serious, emotionally mature options are more appropriate and polite for the situation at hand lol. Laurance is a frequent exception to this rule, she will tease him no matter how serious their conversation is lmao (Laurance brings out her more forgotten whimsical side…?)

So on and so forth while I continue my binge rewatch of the entire series and collect more. So far, she seems to be overall: Kind. Gentle. Soft, warm, friendly, forgiving, understanding, merciful, patient. Playful and whimsical, though that’s become more forgotten with time and hardship. Serious, very emotionally mature, very much a source of wisdom among her peers. Inherently strong sense of justice, will always fight for the right thing. Brave and persistent. Refuses to ever back down from a challenge. Probably at least a little emotionally avoidant and I would not be surprised if she struggled with a particularly harsh inner critic. Optimistic. Never lets go of her heart, led by her heart much more than her brain, though that isn’t to say she isn’t smart, she’s not an idiot. Loves animals. Natural leader. Maternal. Insomniac. Probably neurodivergent, possibly aroace, possibly dyslexic, most likely needs glasses. Traumatized, very much so. Very stressed and anxious (please god someone give her a break). Carries the weight of the world on her shoulders but refuses to let herself crumble, even if she is exhausted and worn down and at her limit. you also cannot look at Zoey and Aphmau’s daily interactions and tell me there isn’t at least a little bit of sapphicism going on there. they love each other so much <3 and if not, she is a single mother going through literal actual hell and hanging on by a string but through the force of necessity and probably at least a little bit of toxic positivity and emotional avoidance she will persevere whether she wants to or not

and I will continue to learn more as we go along 👍

[panelshowsource]

my girl was on the brink of disassociating ⚰️⚰️ LMAO i can't believe how long she lasted — she was the dark horse imo!! PROUD OF U HARRIET

eeeee i got this question a few times and it's so hard to choose!

this series had more or less exclusively big, mainstream comedians, and since they're all in a similar tier of activity (mostly television work) they've worked together a lot before and clearly know each other outside of the show. obviously there are a few exceptions but it was pretty clear how close a lot of them are irl. that makes for the best combination of people imo—you want at least some people who are either friends already and know how to get each other, or a lot of people who at least are fans of each other's comedy so they'll be susceptible to laughing. in my opinion, one stranger having to learn what makes another stranger laugh isn't as engaging — especially in 6 30-minute episodes — as people who, right off the bat, want to laugh just from looking at each other. because that's so cute!

that makes me think it's important to cast a group with these dynamics, which is why i see why you'd choose people who are friends already like ed and james. if it were up to me hmmmm well i said this before but i think a james vs rhod would be iconic, so if we were going that route sprinkling in a few frends like jess knappett, ed gamble, john kearns, alex horne, rose matafeo, rosie jones, and/or sam campbell would be the way forward imo. i also love the idea of jon richardson (who is gigglier than a lot of people realise) vs russell howard, and jon is good buddies with alex, which is cute too hehe what about paul foot? he's hilarious just to look at let alone to talk to. natasia vs jamie demetriou? jamie is also so good at making hilarious faces

i'd want at least one undeniably hilarious, universally loved wildcard (like bob was this series imo), like vic reeves, johnny vegas, liza tarbuck, sally phillips, lee mack, alan carr, or (maybe ultimate picks for me) matt berry or catherine tate. limmy (PIPE DREAM), fatiha el-ghorri, and nick helm would also be agents of chaos i just know it!! and you know i want to see my girl jess hynes in anything i can it's so annoying she's busy being a Real And Very Talented Esteemed Actor instead of doing endless series of outsiders

since everyone loves a challenge, when you think about a few people who reeeeeally really really don't crack, who else comes to mind? maybe jack dee or jo brand lmfao

and you know when they have the extra peeps like nick, alison, and danny come on to do lil bits? i think kevin bridges specifically would be a great shout, he could crack a lot of people i'm sure of it

so i know this isn't a dream line up per say but it is my word vomit and it counts for something (ㅅ´ ˘ `) I'LL THINK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE...

i did watch the irish version and put it on my drive for you guys! it wasn't bad — i really love graham (who doesn't!!!) and the girlies were so funny & cute. it seemed like, compared to the uk version, there were a lot of BIG personalities and even big egos on the irish version. it felt a lot more competitive and focused on offense than the british version, where everyone was almost too scared of making themselves laugh to go super hard lmao there hasn't been an american version, which surprises me, but mae was on the english canadian one, and i do recognise a lot of comics on that one! i'm not sure if i'll get around to watching it (i'm trying to watch more films in my free time) but if you guys really recommend it i'd def give it a try!

hahahahahahahaha well listen... it's a show about tension and about liking each other so much you just can't help it, so i get it!

i can't help that i'm suuuuuch a joe wilkinson fan it hurt my heart that he was out so early but at the same time the fact that he is so giggly is part of what i love about him! he's really good at supporting other comics and their bits with his enthusiasm. when he had to sit on the naughty step i knew he was ruined💔🕊️ lmaooo

i thought this was a great format for daisy, too! i can't remember who said this but she is so good at asking questions/starting convos and manipulating her face while listening lmao idk i thought she killed it

there are certain comics that you KNOW other comics completely fold for and every series of this (it's a massive hit come on we knowww it's getting renewed!) needs one of those people. my vote for the next one? MATT BERRY

hehe yes can do!

thanks cutie ♡(˃͈ ˂͈ )

—

➜ FAQ, where to watch, and more ➜ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[applesandbannas747]

i wanna hear your thoughts on the fence challengers: long shot preview pages if you want to share!

oh mAN I have so many and they are all over the place!!

The first one is a little thing, but I bet Seiji had a crush on Marcus Washington when he was a kid--Nick's horror, Harvard's teasing, and Seiji's indignant blush imply as much.

And a fun fact, Jo posted a mini preview of baby Seiji to Patreon on February 14th...maybe I'm reading into it too much, but that's nothing new XD

Next couple of things are about the scene with the trophy case. It was really interesting and fun to see side-by-side redraws of Robert! It really illustrates the way the style has evolved, and also I gOTTA say it feels like Jo is more invested in Robert based on the level of detail she put in--like it's not just a style comparison, it's also just obvious a lot of attention was put into these shots when a) she could have just reused old shots (which she's done before, so I know it was an option), or kept it more simplified like she did when drawing the original shots.

I also think it's sweet that the redraws have Robert looking much more like Jesse than the originals.

And I am sure I will get flack for this, but I have incredible second-hand embarrassment from Nick leaving his newspaper clipping + note in the trophy case jfhdasl like bestieee noooo anyone can see that shit now oh my god please stooop

Onto some Nichoji thoughts! I love that Seiji's been confirmed as a before-bed reader! Him having a Kindle makes sense for the sheer efficiency of it too lmfao. Of course it's also adorable to see him in reading glasses <3 And then my favorite detail is Nick's stupid nightlight...notice where it is?

Rather than illuminating Nick's side of the room, it's peeking around the curtain and lighting up Seiji's reading, which is beyond adorable and sweet. I wonder whether Seiji stole it or Nick put it there knowing Seiji likes to read before bed, and I love both scenarios.

Also, it's fucking adorable that as soon as Nick mentions their date appointment, Seiji takes off his glasses and lowers his Kindle because it's got his full attention and investment.

And a quick pitstop to the locker rooms!

I like the visual metaphor here with Aiden and Bobby both very casual about changing and both literally having their shirts open; meanwhile, Seiji's straightening the cuffs on his button-down, which is already neatly tucked in and complete with his tie. It just highlights how Seiji's a lot more closed off than the others, and I think this was a neat trick to remind us of that.

In regards to plot, I'm still...really disappointed in the pacing. I know most people feel like it's a slowburn/it's taken a long time to develop, but if you waited to read Fence at all until it was complete and then read it all in one sitting, I think you'd see how unbalanced it is. Williams says that their first match will be in three weeks back right after tryouts:

which means everything between issue 12 and CHALLENGERS has happened in 3 weeks. Seiji and Nick's relationship is so sweet and cute, but it went from resentful rivalry to puppy love overnight with very little 'screen time' dedicated to the actual transition from resentment to friends (which I could write a whole essay on but this is not the post for that lmfao). Furthermore, the fact that it's the first match of State Championships rather than first match of the season is crazy to me. I'll admit, I didn't fence in high school--it wasn't even an option because we didn't have a team. And despite hours of research, the structure of high school team fencing is not entirely clear to me. However, I do know that typical high school sports go through the season, facing every other team in their division or whatever. Based on performance in those matches, they can qualify for state, and then their win ratio determines their seeding order for the state championships that happen in like 1-2 days. Seeding order is who you go up against in a bracket, so it's what this diagram is, basically:

(side note, but it appears there are 24 schools competing at state). Again, fencing could be different, but it kinda seems to me like we skipped over the season and went right to State Championships, which just cuts out so much development and build-up. It's like we're speed-running the entire story to get to the end faster. We cut out showing the development in the romance, and now we're cutting out the development of the plot. There's still plenty that we can do at state, of course, but imagine how much more it would mean to see Nick fencing in front of Robert if we'd built that up more. I just don't understand how we spent 12 issues on try outs, 4 on a practice match, 8 on camp, and none on the fencing season. It feels so abrupt and unbalanced. Tryouts and camp were my favorites arcs because they felt pretty well-paced as self-contained pieces of the story. I just feel like we needed waaaaay more relationship development between those two arcs to be satisfying, and I feel like there should be waaaaay more build up during the fencing season between camp and State Championships.

and now, the moment you've all been waiting for: my devastation over Eugene's role (???) in the story. I honestly question why he's in the story at all--at this point, it would have made more sense to have him flat-out not make the team. Except that keeping him this long lowkey backs up the theory I've had on his role since Striking Distance/RIVALS: Eugene is here to make everyone else look better/cooler/more impressive. The very first thing that struck me when reading the first look was this:

The dialogue here suggests that only one reserve actually gets to be on the team in the end, and the reserve is Nick. And, worse, everyone expected it to be Nick. Sure, it's sweet that Seiji thinks Nick's the better fencer, but all I can think about is how hard Eugene's worked for ten years trying to make the team as opposed to Nick's three months of fencing. Now, I love an underdog story. But it's interesting because Pacat stated in an interview (I'd have to go find where for the specific quote) that he always feels bad for the person who's been working to be #1 their whole lives only to be knocked out of the running by an upstart underdog--which I've always assumed would influence the path taken in Fence...and it seems like we may well let Seiji and Jesse remain above Nick in skill (or at least it seems like we won't be dethroning Seiji, even if we go for Jesse), but Nick's overcoming smaller obstacles. And those smaller obstacles hurt worse to see crushed because Eugene almost made the team in a way that mattered, only to have that taken away. It would have been less cruel to him and his fans to let Nick take the reserve slot back in issue 12, but instead we brought Eugene along to serve as a means to make Nick out 'secret weapon' and elevate his story.

I will say though, this page is one of my favorite Eugene moments because I see the character I selfishly want Eugene to be in it. From the context of the panels above, this page is likely Williams telling them that only one will be fencing in State Championships, and this is their reaction. Eugene's immediate concern for Nick and the comforting hand on his shoulder followed by a bright smile and a thumbs up--he just cares so much about other people and it so used to smiling through his own pain/disappointment and comforts Nick through being positive (and as seen back in issue 12, up playing his competitiveness) and acting like it's no big deal.

Eugene deserved better, but if this is where he goes out, I think I can live with it. Better to see him go now than continue to be a means to uplift the rest of team by being less than. but, man, I was really hoping we were turning it around after his moment in REDEMPTION being the only KR boy not to lose his bout

anyway, thank you sm for listening to my rambles!!! <33

[threalcrabbysamantha]

you know Kataang really kind of perfectly encapsulates the issues I have with a lot of friends-to-lovers dynamics

Let me preface this by saying: I have a fraught relationship with friends to lovers. Some of it I love (Jess and Nick from New Girl, Jake and Amy from BK99), but there’s a version of friends to lovers that I absolutely despise. I call it the Power Fantasy F2L.

In this version of friends to lovers, often one person pines for the other oblivious one, who, usually after some romantic trials and tribulations of their own, turn and realize that their friend was worth loving all along. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth for a couple reasons, namely that often at least one person in this pairing is treating the other one very badly (cough cough Colin being a dick to Penelope behind her back at the end of season 2 of Bridgerton).

More than anything though, I think the problem is that most of these relationships don’t belong in this category at all because the pairing is never really friends to begin with.

Let’s look at the most classic example of friends to lovers: Jim and Pam from the Office. Now look, I love Jim and Pam, okay? Ultimately I do like that they end up together, but they’ve never reached a favorite ship of mine by any means because they have PROBLEMS, namely that Jim doesn’t really like Pam all that much.

Okay yes it’s a bold statement, and some people are going to hate me for saying it, but Jim is not interested in Pam’s friendship ever in the show. He’s interested in being with her romantically, and that’s why he confesses that he loves her when she’s engaged (and clearly expects her to reciprocate), then leaves when she rejects him, and then when he comes back he does not try in any genuine way to rekindle their friendship. Of course, he’s not obligated to, and it makes sense if his feelings are hurt and he’s crushed and he needs space. But it’s hard to claim that he values Pam’s friendship, since he does everything in his power not to nurture their friendship in season three. She’s the object of his desires, not his friend.

This is true of Ross and Rachel on Friends as well. It’s also true of Stiles and Lydia in Teen Wolf, though I’d argue they manage to walk that one back a little bit because he kind of releases his obsession with her somewhat before they get together.

And it’s true of Kataang.

Is Aang really Katara’s friend? Maybe more than Jim is Pam’s friend, but when someone has girlfriend-zoned you from the first moment you met, I’m inclined to think you aren’t really friends, are you? Aang‘s obsession with Katara means he can’t really see her (note his inability to understand her during the Southern Raiders episode especially) and causes him to run head first past any of her own feelings to center his own need to be with her romantically.

How is that friendship?

And maybe this is all very personal. I know there are people who appreciate this version of friends to lovers. People went feral for Polin this spring, and Jim and Pam are maybe one of The Favorite Couples of all time. And Kataang obviously has its fans. But to me, friends to lovers is only satisfying if it’s like Jess and Nick from New Girl: two people who love each other so much, it doesn’t matter what form their relationship takes. They’re in each other’s corner, even if that corner takes them to a different romantic interest. They really see each other, flaws and all, and it’s that recognition that ultimately brings them together.

[writeandsurvive]

I'm sorry for this, it's not good. But somehow, I managed to get something done, so I gotta share. Kinda inspired by NCIS S21E08 'Heartless'.

Warnings: age gap, married couple, established relationship, talks of miscarriage, giving birth, jealousy, womanizer!Alden, daddy!Alden, very slight smut

Mine ~ Alden Parker

When you started to date Alden Parker, as he was still an FBI agent, you never considered becoming friends with his coworkers. Especially, after meeting a few of them he would consider his friends and they turned out to be judgmental towards the age gap in your relationship. Not that you wanted to befriend his coworkers anyways, you just agreed to meet them cause he asked. 

However, it changed when Alden joined NCIS. He immediately started to tell you about his new team, and you could he was fond of them all, including his boss - which was extremely surprising since he never got along with his FBI boss, Sweeney. You quickly knew it would be different this time. It did take him a while before introducing you to them, but once it happened, you all hit it off. The guys were quite impressed with Alden wedlocking a woman fairly younger than him, while the girls, even though they wouldn't go for someone older, they agreed that Alden Parker had a little something. "It's the freaking hair!" Jess joked. 

Before you knew it, this new team felt like family. You'd all hang out together - dinners, games night - and sometimes you'd have girls night with Jess and Kasie. You even babysit McGee's twins and/or Victoria a few times. Which, as much as you loved it, did hurt a little since it would remind you of the struggles you and Alden had been having to have a baby. Between not getting pregnant for months and the miscarriages, you had started to think that it wouldn't happen the natural way for you. Also, Alden really felt like he was getting too old to have a kid, no matter how badly he wanted one with you. 

When you reached your third trimester, Alden felt pretty confident that this time everything was going to be alright while you couldn't shut that little voice in your head saying that something bad would happen like the other times. But finally, the nurse put your crying new born in your arms, and everything felt right. "You did so good, my love." Alden cried, kissing your forehead and looking down at his son. "Our miracle baby. He's perfect." 

You didn't want the nurse to take him away from you but you knew they needed to check him up and clean him. "Do you guys have a name for this little guy?" Another nurse asked. You and Alden looked at each other for a second. "Axel Roman Parker." He said, proudly. 

Obviously, the team was in the waiting room. Alden had been at work when you called him to tell him that your water broke. Nick had been the one driving to the hospital, "Torres, I'd like to meet my son before I die, thank you very much!" Alden shouted, holding onto the handle above the window. 

"Don't worry, dad." Nick grinned. 

Your husband went to see them to let them know that mom and baby boy were alright. "Is it okay if you guys only meet him in a few days?" 

"Of course, no rush!"

"Send us pictures though! Please?" 

Alden didn't want to go back to work after his paternity leave. He didn't want to leave his little family. The night before his first day back, he actually felt depressed. "He's changing so much so fast, I'm gonna miss so much." He sadly said, stroking his son's back, who was peaceful sleeping on daddy's chest. 

"I'll take as many pics and videos I can." You kissed your husband's cheek. "And Vance said you don't have to put many hours like you usually do." 

"I know, but still." 

You noticed the tears forming in his eyes and it broke your heart a little. You didn't want him to go back to work either. You wish he could push his leave a little more, but he had pushed it as much as possible already - director Vance had been amazing and made it easy. You wrapped your arm around Alden's neck, carefully so you wouldn't wake up Axel. He nuzzled your neck as you gently stroked his hair. "He loves you and perfectly knows who daddy is. It won't change in a few hours, I promise." 

"I honestly thought it would never happen for me, you know? Before you and then the issues we had, I thought-- I just wasn't meant to be a dad. But now he's here, and I just don't want to be away from him."

"Aw, baby." You cried with him. "I wish there was a way for you to stay." 

The next day, Alden arrived late at work as he struggled to let go of Axel. Jimmy and Tim, who knew how it felt, were very helpful throughout the following week. 

It took you months to separate from Axel, just for a few hours. And even more time to go out for a girls night while Alden had a boys night with his little man. 

"I almost forgot how champagne tasted." You smiled, having your first drink in over a year. 

"Good thing we took a whole bottle then!" 

The conversation between you, Jess, Kasie and Delilah went on as it usually does when you four get together. Jess talked about her relationship with Jimmy, and her dad. Kasie confessed about her new crush - you and the girls immediately hyped her. Delilah talked about her job, and the twins newest obsessions. And you obviously talked about Axel and your husband. 

"By the way, how's Alden's neck?" Jess asked. 

"Perfect! Did Nick really fix him with a bear hug?" 

"He did! It was pretty funny!" Jess laughed, remembering the scene from a couple of days ago. "Doctor Logan probably thought we were crazy." 

"I can't believe that my husband im-so-scared-of-needles-hold-me-hand worked on a heart surgery." You laughed, trying to imagine the scene. 

"Mr I fainted when my wife got her epidural." Kasie teased. 

"In his defense, it's a pretty big needle for this." Delilah said. "Thank god he didn't faint during the surgery though." She joked. 

"Well, if he did, I'm sure Doctor Logan would've enjoyed giving him mouth to mouth." 

You, Kasie and Delilah turned like one person to look at Jessica. "What?" She asked, confused. Then she looked at you. "He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" 

"Um..."

"Jessica Knight."

"The doc clearly developed a crush on him. She practically flirted with him in front of me." 

You let out a deep breath. "Did he flirt back?"

"Not really, he was genuinely confused."

"Did he not learn his lesson with the senator?" Kasie chimed in. 

You finished your drink in one swallow, remembering when he gave you a piece of paper with a number on it. "Whose number is it?"

"A senator." He had said. 

"Alright and what am I supposed to do with it?" 

"You, nothing. But I guess she wanted me to call when she gave it to me." The jerk was smiling while you used to candle flame to burn the paper. 

"I don't care about the 'it's safer for you if people don't know I'm married' crap, I'm gonna glue the wedding band to his damn finger." 

The girls laughed, always enjoying how easily you get jealous when there's a woman around Alden. When you had learned that some women in the office kinda liked your man, you showed up at the NCIS headquarters for the first time and asked for a tour. When his ex wife got involved in a case, you were feeling anxious, even though she knew about you from the beginning, thanks to Alden's parents. The worst actually was when he saw his first love for the first time in over thirty years. He had admitted that it felt very strange, and maybe if he had been single, he'd have pursued something, but he was married to you, and deeply in love with you and he'd be crazy to let you go. It was one of those rare moments when you and Alden were struggling, and fought a little more often. But he never gave you a reason to be jealous or suspicious, it was just a part of your personality. And to be fair, he was such a womanizer, you couldn't help but to think that any other woman would be better than you. 

You got home slightly drunk, which Alden expected. He was happy that you finally let yourself have some fun away from him and Axel. Barely sleeping on the couch, he immediately got up when he heard you come in. "Hey! What are you doing up? Is Axel awake?" You asked, struggling to take your shoes off. Alden kneeled down to help you. 

"He did wake up an hour ago for his bottle but he's fast asleep now." 

"Good, good." You leaned a little and ran your hand through his hair. "I'm so so so so happy you're my baby daddy." 

Chuckling softly, he got back up and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Thank you for choosing me. You made all my dreams come true." You hugged there for a moment, just enjoying each other. "Let's go to bed, baby mama." He started to carry you, grabbing the baby monitor on the way. 

"No sleeping, gimme another baby." He laughed but quickly got cut off as you smashed your mouth on his. He managed to get to the bedroom while you practically assaulting him, holding his face firmly and french kissing him. Of course his body was responding positively. As he put you down on the bed, you dragged him along. He was on top of you and you started to make out. It was long until you felt his erected cock between your legs. You reached for it, forcing your hands under his shorts. "Fuck, baby." He moaned. 

"Yes, fuck me daddy." 

And he did just that. ~

After freshening up in the bathroom, Alden found you in the nursery, looking over Axel. He hugged you from behind. "Do you really want another?" He asked, cautiously. 

"Not necessarily," you admitted. "I mean, if it happens, I'll be very happy but I can't go through the struggles again."

"Okay. We've got him and he's absolutely perfect." You stroked your son's hair one more time before turning around to face your husband. 

"He really is." You grabbed his left hand and stared at it for a moment. "This wedding band stays on, Alden. 24/7." 

"But--" 

"No but. I'm done with women flirting with you cause they assume you're single. You're taken, you're fucking mine. You keep the damn ring on." 

Alden stayed silent for a moment. "Jess told you about Doctor Logan, didn't she?" You only looked at him, arms crossed. "Fine, I won't take off my ring ever again." He reached for your wrists and made you uncrossed your arms as he hated when you strike that pose on purpose. He brought you as close as possible to him. "Are you ever going to accept the fact that you're the love of my life? That I rather be single for the rest of my life than with someone else than you? That losing you and now Axel, would absolutely destroy me?" 

All you could do was kiss him, but he did saw the tears falling down your cheeks.

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 5

Here is part 5. I hope you guys are enjoying it!!

Gia's eyelids felt like iron curtains. She couldn't understand why it was so hard to open her eyes. Finally, they slowly opened and she was met with a blindingly bright light. As she flinched, she felt her hand knock against someone's arm. As she looked to her right, Nick was slowly picking his head up. His dark eyes lit up when he saw hers.

"Oh thank God Gia." She started to try and ask him what happened when he stopped her. "No, don't try to talk. Your vocal chords are swollen."

It all came flooding back. The man. The man in her apartment. Him choking her. She heard the heart rate monitor beating rapidly.

"Gee, take a deep breath." As she did, it felt line she was breathing in shards of glass. She tried to move her head and she was met with searing pain.

"Gia stop, you're hurt. Let me go get the doctor."

All she could think about was Ali. She had to know. She grabbed Nick's arm. He turned to look at her and she waved him back. She grabbed his hand and wrote A-L-I-? on his palm. Something flashed across his face.

"She's alive." was all he would say and then he went to get a doctor.

She closed her eyes waiting for Nick to come back with the doctor, the light was hurting her eyes. It was like there was a base drum in her head.

"Gia?" Her eyes fluttered open. It was Jesse. "Are you okay with me examining you?" She nodded yes. Jesse made her feel safe.

"You guys know each other?" Nick asked.

"Uh, yeah." Jesse rubbed the back of his head. Nick could be intimidating and he was staring him down. Jesse hesitated for a moment. "I'm friends with Ali, we've hung out a couple of times."

"Gia, do you want me to leave?" Nick asked. She shook her head no. Nick stepped to the side to give Jesse room to do what he needed to do, but he never took his eyes off of her. When he was done, Jesse sighed.

"You have a severe grade 3 concussion. You are lucky there wasn't swelling or permanent damage. You have a small cut on the back of your head, but it didn't need stitches so we cleaned it up. You're going to be here for a bit. We need to monitor you. We need to keep an eye on any complications or side effects. You need to rest your vocal cords. There's some swelling. I'm going to get you some water. It'll come back, but you're going to be hoarse for a while. Pain?" She nodded. "Okay. I'll be back with something for that too."

When he patted her arm she grabbed his hand. He knew what she wanted to know.

"Ali is stable right now. If you hadn't showed up? She'd be dead. You worry about you for now. I've got her."

Gia was rapidly blinking back tears. Something was wrong with Ali. She knew by their responses. She wanted to ask Nick to turn down the lights. She tried to say his name, but Jesse was right. She clenched her jaw in frustration.

"You might be more stubborn than me." She slammed her hands against the mattress of her hospital bed. Nick walked closer and she turned her head to the side to avoid his gaze, tears building back up.

"Look at me." His voice was gentle. She snapped her head back to him. "I'll get a pen and some paper."

Before he left again, she smacked his hand lightly and then pointed to the lights. "You want them turned down?" She nodded. As he headed towards the door he dimmed them. When he looked back at her, she was staring out the window. Nick couldn't find the words to tell her about Ali. He knew Olivia was the best person to do it.

___________________________________

Gia was in and out of consciousness. Jesse, true to his word came back with something for her pain and then gave her something for her anxiety. He could tell by the frantic look in her eyes and her heart rate.

When Gia opened her eyes again, Nick was gone. She looked around her empty room. She felt so out of it. She wasn't sure if it was the drugs or the head injury, probably both. There was a pad of paper and a pen on the table next to her, along with some water. As she tried to get it, Olivia walked in.

"Hey." She said gently. "Let me help." Gia felt infantilized as Liv held the straw up to her mouth. Yet, she was still grateful because as hard as it was to swallow, the cold water felt good. Olivia sat on the side of her bed. Gia knew by studying Olivia's face tight with apprehension that she was going to tell her what she wanted to know. She also knew it was bad if they waited for Liv to get there to give her all of the details.

"She was attacked by the serial we've been after." Gia's eyes widened. "You showed up just in time. She's the first victim that has survived." Gia closed her eyes for a moment. Olivia waited to continue until she opened them back up. She could tell by her face she didn't want to tell her the rest. "She was raped, brutally, but she put up a fight. She has a lot of defensive wounds. He already had her strung up and gagged. She has some brain trauma and the bruising around her neck points to strangulation. She was in surgery for a while as they fixed any internal damage, I'm not sure of the outcome. Her ribs are fractured and she has a laundry list of cuts and bruises. The doctors don't know if she went without Oxygen for an extended period of time or not. They won't know if there is any permanent damage until she wakes up."

Gia slammed her head against her bed and immediately regretted it. She felt a wave of dizziness. If she had just been a little faster saying goodbye to Rafael, the outcome could have been different. Maybe he wouldn't have heard her and she could have captured him. The what if's were too much to bare.

"Gia, listen to me.” Liv took both of her hands in hers. "If it weren't for you, she wouldn't have a chance to fight for her life. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have his DNA. And when you can speak better? We can get a sketch artist." Gia's eyes widened. She pulled her hand from Liv's and pointed to the pen and paper. Liv handed it to her. She couldn't believe she didn't think of it before. She had a camera that she had hidden in the hallway. She had put it on the top of the doorway on the apartment across the hall from her. It was pointed directly at her door. She never even knew why she did it, this was the first time anyone had gotten past security without being seen. She furiously wrote down the information Liv needed to get it off her laptop.

"Gia, this is great. I'll have someone on it. We have a Uni outside of your room. We don't want to take the chance of him coming after you. We haven't been letting anyone but us and your doctors in. Do you want me to call your brother?" Gia shook her head. Liv thought about trying to convince her to let her call Grayson, but she knew Gia had a reason. She also didn't want to upset her any more than she already was.

"Okay. I'm going to go and take care of this. Just rest. One of us will be in to check on you soon. We are going to get him." Olivia reassured her. Gia nodded her head. Olivia squeezed her hand before she walked out. ____________________________________

Rafael slowly opened the door to Gia's room. As suspected, she was sleeping and he didn't want to wake her. He slowly closed the door behind him. The more she rested, the quicker she would heal.

He had barely gotten home when Amaro had called him. He couldn't wrap his brain around what had transpired. He had just been with her and had been fine, she had been perfect. If only he had insisted on walking her up to her door, he could have saved her and helped Alison.

Her building was secure, he had seen it with his own eyes. Gia had always been confident in her safety there. They had no idea how that man got in and why he had gone after Alison. It was a piece of the puzzle they were desperate to find- how and why this man chose his victims. Rafael wished he had that answer to give to Gia. He knew that she would want as much information as possible. His thoughts drifted over to Alison. He felt his own stomach turn. He had never met her, yet she felt like an old friend. Gia loved her and spoke about her often. Gia admired her tenacity and empathy. Their shared passion of helping people is what drew them together. While their paths were very different, their end game was the same.

Rafael had seen the crime scene photos. He was thankful that Gia hadn't seen her. Though he knew she would demand seeing the file once she was better, he would try to talk her out of . So would Liv and Amaro. She didn't need that image in her brain. At least, for the time being, that image wasn't floating around her head.

It was early. He had told his office he would be taking the day off. The first time in as long as he could remember. Carmen knew where he would be and would call if anything pertinent came up.

He had sat by her side the night she was brought into the hospital for hours. The dark purple marks around her neck made him feel homicidal. The cuts and bruises all over her face. He had stayed, willing her to open her eyes, even if briefly. They had worried she had incurred a serious traumatic brain injury. They wouldn't know until she woke up. He had to have traced that tattoo on her wrist over a thousand times.

Eventually Amaro showed up a little after dawn and sent him home to get a few hours of sleep. They all couldn't sit by her bedside and Nick had needed a break from the crime scene and the search for the man who had done this.

They still didn't have a suspect in custody. But thanks to Gia, they now had DNA and a face. He knew that they would find him, it was only a matter of time. She had been so smart to scratch him. The way she had the camera positioned gave them a full view of the door and into her apartment. They had seen the entire attack on her play out. He didn't know if he would ever get the image of her being choked out of his mind. The way her head slammed against the floor. He felt pride with how she fought back.

He slowly pulled the chair close to her bedside. He was more than tired. He felt depleted. He had slept very little and then he had gotten to work. He had warrants ready to go so that as soon as Liv called with anything, he could get them signed. Carmen was ready to beat down every judges door with Barba on the phone if that is what it took.

He gently took her hand and stared at the tattoo on her wrist. The more he got to know her, the more he understood it. She was like the ocean. She was vast and incredibly deep. Her emotions came in like a strong tide and sometimes boundless and dangerous. Other times, they were gentle and caressed you like a slow wave lapping at your feet. She was chaos, but in the most exquisite way possible. He lived his life inside the lines and she blurred every single one of them. She made him want to be boundless with her. He found himself tracing the wave on her wrist lightly as not to disturb he sat like that for another hour and a half, zoning out until her heard her struggle to cry out. He watched as she started to see her thrashing, gripping her throat.

Gia felt a familiar tightening constraint on her airway, she grappled at her neck to break free. She wanted to scream, but nothing would come out. All she could do was find a way to loosen the grip on her neck. Yet, she knew fighting against it would bring her demise at a rapid rate. She knew at the beginning, deep down that this job would be the end of her. She just thought she would have more time. Large black dots formed and floated in her line of vision. She thrashed, trying to get one of the most basic needs in life, air. Breathing was a luxury that was taken for granted. It was a reflex; and just when she thought it was over, that she was going to be swallowed by the darkness, she jolted awake.

"Breath Gigi, just breath. You're okay."

It took her a moment to recognize her surroundings. She was in the hospital. She was having a nightmare. She repeated the two sentences in her brain a few times and then she realized that she could breathe. Every ounce of oxygen she sucked into her body calmed the rattle of her heart even if it felt like tiny daggers going down. When she looked to her right, there was Rafael. There was a faint brush of stubble on his face. Deep concern was set in his handsome features. She felt her body relax, she never thought she would see him again. He stood up and walked over to the side table that had been pushed away. He poured water into her cup and then brought the table over.

"Drink some water, please." He helped her get the straw into her mouth. When she winced after taking a deep gulp. She slowly took a few more sips and then he pulled the cup away.

She hadn't realized how dry her mouth felt. She must have been asleep for a while. There was a faint light slowly trickling in, signaling it was early morning. She had been at the hospital for a day and a half at least, though she wasn't sure. The cool water was a welcomed feeling. As Rafael made his way back to his seat, it was then that she noticed what he was wearing. He was in a cream colored cable knit sweater and what appeared to be dark jeans. She was so used to seeing him in a suit, it was a pleasant change. As she swallowed again, the daggers that had just pierced her throat had seemingly dulled their blades, so she tested her voice.

"What, no suit?" She sounded like a 90 year old woman that started smoking at 8, but she had said it.

"You use your first words to make fun of me?" He chuckled and stared at her admirably. She gave him a small half smile. "You're unbelievable."

She winced a little. Now that consciousness was setting in, she felt pain flooding through her body. Her joints ached, her lower back felt like it was on fire, her neck had a deep seeded ache that had set in.

"Your head?" Gia registered the alarm on his face. She slowly shook her head.

"My whole body." she whispered out. "I'm stiff and sore." She patted her hands around and found the remote to adjust the back of the bed up. Once she got it adjusted, Rafael jumped up and helped slide her up. He heard her lower spine crack and at first it worried him, but then he heard her sigh in relief. He got some pillows behind her.

"Work?" She asked. He smiled a little. Always the questions. It had to be torturing her not to be able to say more than a word or two.

"You're not supposed to be talking." He admonished. She gave him an irritated look and he held both his hands up. "Just what the doctor said. I took a personal day." Her brow furrowed. She put her had across her chest and mouthed "for me?". When he went respond he saw a range of emotions sprawl across her face.

"Of course for you." He then added tentatively, "I saw the video, it's understandable that you're in pain." She looked away. He grasped her hand "You are so incredibly brave and your quick thinking saved your life and will save the lives of other women. You got us DNA and we have what he looks like because you knocked him down in that hallway and risked your own life. I swear to you, Gianna, we will get this guy and I will put him away for life." She slowly turned her face back to his.

"I thought." She started and then paused. "I was...I was going", another pause, "to die. All I could think is that I would never see Annie grow up. That I would never see my brother again..." she took a moment before trying to finish her thought and then added, "that I would never see you again."

"I know, I saw it in your eyes. I'm so happy you had left those stupid shoes in the hallway and Ali has a chance because of you."

"I can still smell him. He smelled like stale cigarettes and old beer." she closed her eyes for a few moments. "I can still feel his grip on my throat." Her hands were trembling. She felt a hot cold feeling crawl through her body.

"You're safe now. He is not going to get his hands on you again."

She reached over and grabbed her water to take a few more sips. "How did he get in the building?"

"We don't know. We checked the cameras. He's not on any of them. He studied her face. She was trying to think of how and where he could have gotten in. He was imagining her flipping through photographs in her mind.

"I can't think straight." She whispered.

"A solid blow to the head will do that to you. Give yourself some time."

"There is no time."

"Gia, even if we find out how he got in, it's not going to tell us where he is now. So don't stress yourself." She sighed.

"Rest your voice." He reached down into his bag and pulled out a sketch book and pencils. "I figured you'd want something to occupy yourself."

"Thank you." It was such a small gesture, but it meant the world to her. He was the first person to ever have a finger on the pulse of who she really was.

"De Nada." He said before pulling out a book and opening it up.

___________________________________

Gia squinted as the nurse was pushing her back towards her room after a repeat catscan. The bright lights were absolutely killing her. She needed to get out of this hospital, everything was bright as hell she was going stir crazy. All she wanted was a dark cool room that she could rot in, she felt like there was something cold enveloping over her. She doubted she could go home yet, it had to still be a crime scene. Did she even want to ever go back to that place? Her home was her sanctuary and that had been ripped from her. Maybe after some time she would feel differently about it.

Rafael had been with her all day. He read as she sketched and then they watched documentaries on the History Channel. Rafael seemed to enjoy having someone that actually enjoyed watching it with him. No one from the squad had been in yet today, but she would rather have them out there and trying to find him versus sitting by her bedside. Carmen, however, had stopped in. She had gotten to know her as her friendship with Barba had grown. She was incredibly kind. She had asked Liv if there was anything she could do for Gia. Liv had gone to her apartment after CSU had finished to pack her up some clothes. It didn't even occur to Gia that she had no idea where her dress went and she was perfectly fine never seeing it again.

Gia was torn from her internal dialogue when she heard "But she's my sister!" yelled out. She recognized Grayson’s voice immediately. Who the hell had called him? She instantly the familiar flutter in her chest that she had finally quelled as the nurse wheeled her down the hallway. Grayson turned and his eyes widened.

"Gia! What the hell happened?" He had a demanding tone. When he went to walk over to her, the officer stopped him from approaching her. Apparently Cragen oversold how much danger she was actually in.

"It's okay." She said when the nurse got closer. "He actually is my brother." As Grayson heard the croak in her voice, his eyes narrowed to her neck and then widened. Gia pointed him towards the door. Rafael had gone to get some real coffee and was going to make his way back while she was getting her scan done. Grayson was silent, but he was pacing back and forth as the nurse helped her back into bed. When she shut the door behind her, Grayson stared at Gia expectantly.

"Who called you?" His eyes widened

"NO ONE! When my fifth phone call and numerous texts went unanswered, I went to your apartment and found out it was a crime scene. I thought you were dead. They told me you were okay but in the hospital. Why didn't you have anyone call me. I need to call mom-"

"No!" Gia protested. "That's why I told them not to call you." His face filled with incredulity.

"Are you serious? They are our parents!”

"Gray I swear, you call them and I will have them move me and none of you will be able to see me." He shook his head.

"They're going to be upset."

"I'm the one that is hurt. Shouldn't my feelings come first? I'm not doing this with you anymore. I'm not dealing with her. She makes everything harder for me. She holds me to a different standard than you. You can accept that she and I don't have a good relationship or we won't be seeing each other as often." His face slackened in defeat. Before he could say anything, Rafael walked into the room. He halted in the door way when he immediately sensed the tension in the air. He tentatively walked all the way into the room.

"I got you that protein fruit smoothie you like. I thought it might help make you feel better." Grayson was giving him a piercing look. He couldn’t blame him. His sister was in the hospital and Rafael was a stranger to him. He knew Grayson was overprotective. His eyes never left Barba as he walked over and set her cup on the tray table. He then wiped the condensation off on his jeans and stuck his hand out. "You must be Grayson. I'm Rafael Barba. I work with your sister."

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for looking after my sister." Grayson was cycling through worried and angry, but he felt a little bit of relief that his stubborn sister at least wasn't here alone. He looked back to Gia, his voice a little softer.

"You win. I won't call them. But can you please tell me what the hell happened and why you have an armed guard outside."

Rafael dragged a chair over for Grayson and then went to sit in the one he had spent the entire day in. He felt like he was intruding, but he didn't want to leave. The pleading look in Gia’s eyes wouldn’t let him. He wanted to watch over her for as long as he could.

It took Gia a while to tell Grayson what happened between getting upset and the pain of speaking in long intervals. Rafael filled in where he could. He let Grayson know what they were doing to find this guy and that the officer outside was just a precaution and that no threats had been made.

"I'm sorry Gray." She said as her voice cracked. "I would have lost my mind if I went to your place and it looked like that. I was going to reach out to you tonight now that I have my phone back. I wanted to have an update from the doctor." Gia had gotten her phone when Carmen brought her clothes. She went to say more, but Jesse walked in.

"So good news, the scans look good. I just wanted to make sure we didn't miss anything. You're banged up, that's for sure. I want to keep you one more night.

"No Jesse. I just want to get out of here."

"Gia, c'mon. I should keep you for a few days. Give me one more night.

"Fine, but I get to see Ali." Jesse glanced at Barba. "Don't do that." She pointed between the two. Jesse let out a deep sigh.

"You go in a wheel chair." He conceded.

"Deal."

"I'll discharge you tomorrow. We'll go over symptoms to watch for regarding the concussion. You have to promise me that you're not going to rush back into anything. A grade 3 concussion is serious. You need a minimum of 2-4 weeks to recover. You also shouldn't be alone for at least the first week, just in case you have any severe symptoms." Jesse didn't want her going back to work right away.

"That's not a problem doctor, Gia will stay with me." Grayson jumped in. Gia's insides seethed. That was her decision to make, not his. Before she could protest, Jesse continued.

"How's the pain? And don't lie."

"It's bad. My back and my ribs."

"Okay, I'll have the nurse bring something for it. I'll check back in later." Once he was gone, Gia glared at Grayson.

"Don't speak for me like that. I'm not staying with you. I'm not putting Sienna out and Annie will freak when she sees me. She doesn't need to see me like this. I'll stay at Nick's." Amaro had the house to himself with Maria in DC. Gia knew he would be happy to have the company.

"Absolutely not. You need to actually rest and I know you. You will not do it if left to your own devices. I agreed not to call Mom and Dad. You do this for me. All Anna needs to know is that you got hurt at work. At least while you can't stay at your apartment. We will get someone to go in and clean it and you're getting a more secure door."

"Fine." Gia deflated. Barba watched the interaction with interest. He had never seen Gia acquiesce so quickly. He was glad she did, he was worried about her being alone while she recovered. Grayson stood up and let out a deep sigh.

"Gigi, I'm going to head out so I can get home and fill Sienna in. You know her, she will want to do something special for you. And before you protest-" he held his hand up as she opened her mouth and then quickly shut it. "She loves doing nice things for other people, especially you. You know how much she loves you. Anna will be excited too. I will get here tomorrow morning and wait for you to be discharged, okay?"

"Okay Gray. You win, but just this time." Deep down, she knew being there was the best place for her to be. The anxiety and fear were steadily pumping through her veins. Being alone with just her thoughts wasn't the best idea at the moment. It didn't hurt that she would get quality time with her niece.

"I love you. Call or text me if you need anything. I don't care if it's 3am." Grayson looked over at Rafael tentatively.

"Would you mind staying with her? I hate the idea of her being here alone. I would stay myself, but I want to be 100% available tomorrow for her."

"I will stay here for as long as she needs me to. I cleared my schedule." Gia looked back and forth between the two men. She was used to her brother giving any guy in her life, friend or otherwise, the 3rd degree.

"Mr. Barba, thank you for looking out for my sister. I'm glad she has such good, um, friends." He said the last part tentatively. He had seen the way he looked at his sister. He was sure this was the friend she was talking about when he met her outside of her building.

"Call me Rafael. And no thanks is needed. We all care about Gia very much. I promise you the SVU squad will find this guy, thanks to Gia's quick thinking. If it weren't for her, we'd have a lot less to go on. I will put him away for the rest of his life.”

"I have no doubt that you will." He looked over at Gia. "See you in the morning Gigi." Grayson leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and then headed out.

"You okay?" Rafael watched as she massaged the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah, I just wished that he hadn't found out that way. I would have been better prepared. You were uncharacteristically quiet."

"I was just observing." He gestured in front of him." Gia rolled her eyes. "I have never seen you concede that quickly. I was trying to learn."

"I felt guilty for him finding the crime scene."

"It'll be good that you're staying with him. You need to follow their directions. You got really lucky."

"I know. I promise I will."

"For now, drink your smoothie. You need something in your body. Low blood sugar isn't going to help your headaches.

"Don't get used to bossing me around." She pointed at him.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

____________________________________

Rafael slowly wheeled Gia down to the ICU. He didn't know if it was a good idea for her to see Alison just yet, but she wasn't a child and he had to ignore his instinct to try and protect her.

When they entered, a man and a woman were tearfully sitting by Alison's bedside. They had to be her parents. He wondered where Ali got her darker skin from as both of them were Caucasian.

"Oh Gia! Honey...I'm so glad that you're okay." the woman stood and immediately came over and once Gia was on her feet, she hugged her fiercely. Gia looked smaller in that moment. She was clad in a hooded sweatshirt probably 2 sizes too big and leggings. The height her shoes usually gave her diminished. Helene was quite a bit taller than her, which added to the effect.

"I'm so sorry." Her could hear the tears in her voice. He moved her wheelchair to the other side of the room. As he turned, Helene took Gia's face in her hands.

"Don't you dare apologize. The detectives told me about what you did. She wouldn't even have a chance if you hadn't been there." Alison's father approached.

"Gia how are you feeling?" His voice registered a level of concern only a father could speak. She pulled away from Helene, held her hand out and tipped it to the right and to the left. Rafael cleared his throat and approached. He stuck his hand out to introduce himself.

"Rafael Barba. I'm a friend of Gia's."

"Mark Bennett, it's nice to meet you." He shook Rafael's hand. Helene still had her arms around Gia but gave him a nod of recognition.

Rafael watched as Gia slowly peeled herself away from the woman and stepped towards Ali's bedside. He watched her take Alison's state in and then close her eyes for a moment.

Her face looked the worst. Both of her eyes were bruised, on the left side the bruise went down past her cheek bone. It was a dark purple color, the heeling tinge of yellow not present. Her bottom lip was swollen and there was a large cut down the right side. It was topped off by a gash that was raised above her right eye. The IV inserted into her arm had 3 bags hanging from the stand. As her eyes trailed down, Rafael watched her take in the severe bruising down her arms and the dark purple bruise around her neck like a matching necklace to Gia's. One of her hands was wrapped in gauze that was covering a stitched up wound from a knife that went through her hand. There was a good chance she wouldn't ever perform a surgery again, depending on the nerve damage. While they couldn't see her torso and legs from under the hospital down and blankets, there was no doubt it was littlered with bruising and cuts.

"What are they saying?" Gia's hoarse voice seemingly fit the scene in front of her. Helene went and stood next to her and wrapped her arm around her. Rafael felt like an intruder in their moment, more so than when he was a witness to Gia and Grayson. Yet, he wouldn't leave her, his feet would never allow him to retreat to the waiting room down the hall.

"She is in a medically induced coma. They're keeping her sedated to give her brain time to heal." Mark said, Rafael knew he was holding back information and Gia sensed it too.

"Mark, please..." she pleaded. He sighed, the over protectiveness from a father slowly seeping from him. Rafael wasn't the only one with the instinct to protect her.

"She has some severe internal injuries. They had to give her a hysterectomy. Her Uterus it... it had ruptured and they couldn't contain the bleeding. There was other damage to her reproductive system, they didn't want to take the chance of having to go back in. She may never operate again, that animal stabbed through her hand after stomping her body. She is covered in subdural hematomas, deep cuts that have been stitched. They... they don't know if there is any permanent brain damage. The blow to her head and the damage it caused and then being suffocated..." he trailed off, not able to finish his sentence. Gia took Ali's unwrapped hand in hers.

"I just wish I had gotten there sooner." Gia's confessed, which caused a pang of guilt to wrack through Rafael. He saw the look in Gia's eyes harden. "I will not rest until he is found."

"No, Gia." Helene said. "You let your team do that. You need to recover and heal too. Alison would not want you jeopardizing your health. You're too important to her." Gia didn't respond and instead clenched and rolled her jaw. He said a silent prayer that Alison made it through this. If she didn't, he didn't know how Gia would survive it.

[sanjarka]

you don't understand. i'm so serious about the nick and jess / katniss and peeta parallels. like hold my hand and LISTEN to me. it's not the same. it's obviously not the same. they are not the SAME characters but their dynamic is. sure i guess it's just another grumpy sunshine trope but it's MORE than that. like imagine katniss's dad didn't die but her mother is still mentally ill and at times not a stable parent or a stable partner leading to a rocky marriage that ultimately works but katniss still heard or seen things she shouldn't - heard her parent's fights, became a support system for her dad when it was rough when too young etc. leading to her issues with trust and love and leading her to have a mostly awful on and off relationship with her childhood friend gale. then we have peeta and his toxic divorced parents who fight over him. his mom is not abusive now but she isn't the best either. he sticks to the first long term relationship he has because he just wants to be a family and for someone to love him. but then she cheats on him. he's looking for a new place and he stumbles upon an ad looking for a roommate. now while a "new guy" dynamic is interesting i think it has to be different. schmidt can only be finnick and annie has to be peeta's bff. let's say coach and winston are johanna and madge. anyway this isn't the important part. that is the fact that katniss falls first here. she sure is trying to run away from the fact and to hide it but it's extremely fucking obvious to anyone with eyes. but peeta, well he just had his heart broken and he's trying to make sense of it. but they like him - katniss pretends she doesn't and is against it OBVIOUSLY but he moves in. the rest is history.

(the rest is the best will they won't ever made. the rest is katniss getting drunk because of a health scare and telling peeta she's really glad that he's around. the rest is katniss finally breaking it off with gale because of peeta making her want to do better. it's katniss saying you're the kind of guy a girl would come back for. it's katniss doing the cooler kiss. it's peeta dressing up as elvis for asterid's funeral (rip queen but you have to die here)). COME ON SOMEONE WORK WITH ME HERE.

[honestlyvan]

CONTROL ANNOTATED: DIDN’T WE JUST DO THIS?

(Also available on Dreamwidth!)

Hi! It’s me and @drdarling again! We wrote the Alan Wake 2 annotation for Ahti’s dialogue! I’m aware there’s been guides like this out for like three years but also I wanted to do it myself in the style of the previous guide, mostly out of curiosity to see how the style of his dialogue has changed because it’s… definitely different :’D

Once again thanks to Saikku and RH for the help with the translations, and once again Finnish is very regional and my translations are just one Finnish reading on what the fuck he is saying. The point here is to demonstrate that Ahti isn’t cryptic, he’s quite comprehensible but he’s also definitely just saying shit to mess with people.

Spoilers for all of Control past this point.

Ahti intro, points Jesse to the elevator:

There you are! You are here about the job. Janitor’s assistant. You need to go to the interview. Go that way to the elevator. Very good. I’m Ahti, the janitor, by the way. You’ll work for me. You can say I sent you. If they don’t hire you, niin johan on helvetti. There be work for the axe, take them behind the sauna, jumalauta.

“niin johan on helvetti” – cursing. “it (sure is/will be) hell” translates broadly to “there will be hell to pay”

“There be work for the axe” – “olla kirveelle töitä”, open-ended threat; something needs rectifying, with force if necessary

“take them behind the sauna” – “viedä saunan taakse”, “put someone out of their misery”, to execute someone. Saunas are usually built away from the house, so anything happening behind them would not be visible to the main house and yard.

Jesse: Ahti the janitor is a friendly face in my book.

Better than somebody with no face at all. Think about it, no face.

Jesse makes her way down to Ahti’s office in Maintenance:

Well done. You got the job. It’s place for congratulations. Jippii, saatana. (note from Autumn: Very deadpan delivery on this one that makes me lose it every time.) It happened in the last drop. I truly need an assistant.

“Jippii, saatana.” – “Yippee, (saatana)”, loanword from English.

“in the last drop” – “viime tipassa”, common idiom, “in the nick of time”

Jesse asks for help getting to the override to get the lockdown lifted:

Yes, yes. Easy peasy. It’s just around the corner. But first we need to get you working! Very small couple of hours job.

“just around the corner” – interesting case of Ahti using the correct English idiom rather than saying “behind the corner” as we’d say in Finnish.

“Very small couple of hours job.” – not an idiom, but a very common part of ESL English from a Finnish speaker, dropping verbs and particles.

Jesse inner monologues, “Something tells me it’s gonna be more than that.”:

Jahaa, jaa-a, you think there’s a dog buried in this? I can tell you are not a yesterday’s grouse’s son. That’s why you’ll make a great assistant. Very well, I’ll hit the facts on the table. Mä kyllä sanon perkele suoraan että this house has a vermin problem, a bad one. They’ve already messed up the cooling pumps and the power generators of power plant, perkele. And the pensioner inside is starting to feel the band around his head tighten. The situation needs to be fixed before the plant blows up and we all disappear like a fart in Sahara, perkele. But don’t you worry, I’ve left you clear instructions. You’ll catch the end of the thread before I go to my vacation. The works on the task board here you can do later when you have time.

“there’s a dog buried in this” – “koira haudattuna”, common idiom meaning that the situation is not what it seems, or there is a hidden (negative) side to the story being told.

“a yesterday’s grouse’s son” – “eilisen teeren poika”, common idiom, “born yesterday”

“Mä kyllä sanon perkele suoraan että” – “Perkele, I’ll say it (straight, directly), that”

“feel the band around his head tighten” – “vanne pään ympärillä kiristyy”, growing more agitated as the situation gets more serious. Sometimes you also hear “feel the band around the barrel tighten”, about situations that get more stressful before they resolve.

“like a fart in Sahara” – “kuin pieru Saharaan”, common turn of phrase, “into thin air”

“catch the end of the thread” – “langan päästä kiinni”, common saying, understanding the situation, “getting up to speed”

Jesse inner monologues, “Vacation? Right.”:

Yes. No-one's gonna cancel my holiday, or sheaths gonna rattle. But don’t worry at all. You’ll take care of it, and soon this crisis gonna be last winter’s snow. You better go now so you don’t have to run with your head as your third leg. The door in the back leads to the plant.

“sheaths gonna rattle” – “tulee tupenrapinat”, common idiom meaning that there’s going to be an argument or a fight. “The knives will be drawn”.

“last winter’s snow” – “menneen talven lumia”, water under the bridge.

“run with your head as your third leg” – “juosta pää kolmantena jalkana”, common idiom, to be in a rush.

Incidental dialogue hanging around in Ahti’s office throughout:

It’s time for a coffee break soon. Aah, kaffea.

“kaffe” – “coffee”, a Swedicism

Pensioner, yes. Northmoor, mister director. Starting to climb on the walls in his bachelor pad.

“to climb on the walls” – “kiipeillä seinille”, idiom, to act nervous and jumpy, “going spare”

Tango is a window into a Finn’s soul. It came from Suomi Finland. Anyone who says anything else is a lying goat. Perkele.

“a lying goat.” – “valepukki”, idiomatic. What it says on the tin.

(Translator’s note: Ahti is 100% lying when he says this. Autumn confirmed that this is a reference to the Finnish director Aki Kaurismäki talking about Finns inventing tango and sailors taking it to Argentina with them, but unlike Ahti we know he was joking.)

The Bureau is trying to dig a hole in their own cellar, looking for gold. Greedy will have a shitty end.

“dig a hole in their own cellar, looking for gold” – “kaivaa kultaa omasta kellarista”. As far as we can tell, this is not a saying anywhere in Finland, but as always this means it might just be an obscure one.

“Greedy will have a shitty end.” – “Ahneella on paskainen loppu”, a common saying. Exactly what it says on the tin.

Where did I leave my mop again? Pirulauta. Burnout, cosmonaut. I really need a holiday.

“Pirulauta” – “Devil, help me”, more commonly in the form “jumalauta” (god help me). The “devil” referenced in this is not a capital-letter Devil, but rather a folk devil/evil spirit.

“Burnout, cosmonaut” – Not directly a saying in Finnish. “Kosmonautti” gets used the same way “space case” does in English, he is berating himself for his attention slipping.                                             

The Containment Sector has blown to pussy’s splinters. The work won’t end even if you keep doing it.

“pussy’s splinters” – “vitun päreiksi.” “Vittu” is more properly translated as “cunt”, it’s the most common swear in modern Finnish. (Note from Saikku: In Ostrobothnia folks also say "pillun päreiksi", with "pillu" translating literally to "pussy".)

When the time comes, I’m gonna go on my vacation, like dad went into mom.

“like dad went into mom” – “kuin isä äitiin.” Exactly what it says on the tin. (Also not a saying, Ahti is just making a dirty joke.)

You know what’s the worst thing about this vermin? Saatana! The noise! They don’t appreciate good music. And that’s the reason they can go as far as pepper grows.

“go as far as pepper grows.” – “mennä niin kauas kuin pippuri kasvaa”, a common idiom. In essence, “fuck all the way off.”

The first thing I’m gonna do when I get to my vacation is to get drunk. Anyone who doesn’t respect that can go to hell’s spruce tree. Sausages on eyes. A drop won’t kill you and you can’t drown in a bucket.

“hell’s spruce tree” – “helvetin kuuseen”. This is a mistranslation from Ahti, since the more appropriate translation would be “to the backforests of hell”. Also, in essence, “fuck all the way off”.

“Sausages on eyes.” – “nakit silmillä”, common idiom, “extremely drunk”

“A drop won’t kill you and you can’t drown in a bucket.” – “Ei tippa tapa ja ämpäriin ei huku”, a reference to a pop song by Irwin Goodman of the same name about drinking lots of booze.

The Research Sector is the worst. The doctors don’t know how to clean after themselves. That Arish fellow is not a useless guy. Respects his elders. Makes good coffee. Yep yep. The janitor is the one who makes everything running and under control.

What A Mess: Burn The Trash dialogue:

Yep. Burn the trash. Throw it in the fire. Burn it all. Burn it into a reindeer, not into a moose.

“Burn it into a reindeer, not into a moose.” – (Translator’s note: *drags hands over face*) The word for ashes/cinders, “poro”, is a homonym with the word for reindeer, also “poro”. It’s a play on words.

Ahti dialogue on The Clog:

My old enemy, the Clog, is blocking the pipes. You need to deal with that shit. He’s my very old enemy, the clog, Paska.

“Paska” = shit

He’s very clever, he’s trying to sneak in. We got him caught with his hand in the fish trap. Get rid of him.

“caught with his hand in the fish trap” – “jäädä rysän päältä kiinni”, a common idiom. “Get caught with your pants down”.

It’s back. What would kill a bad thing? Paska mikä paska.

“What would kill a bad thing?” – “Mikä pahan tappaisi”, a common turn of phrase. What it says on the tin.

“Paska mikä paska” – “The shit is what it is.”

Ahti dialogue while fixing the power plant:

Broke. Gone to shit. Fix it fast. If the plant goes boom, we can throw the spoon in the corner.

“Gone to shit.” – “mennyt paskaksi”, translates directly.

“throw the spoon in the corner” – “heittää lusikka nurkkaan”, idiomatic, “buy the farm.” (This is a slightly odd translation to me, as it is being used more in the same sense as “throw in the towel”, creating the implication that dying in huge explosions is voluntary.)

It’s fried up. You need to fix it before the old twig-pants inside the plant has a shit-fit.

“the old twig-pants” – “vanha vihtahousu”, idiomatic. Broadly “that old devil”, in Finnish it’s common to have many names for evil or just strong spirits, because calling them by their proper name invites them to come bother you. (“Vihtahousu” gets translated in AW2 as “Ol’ Scratch”)

“shit-fit” – “paskahalvaus”, interesting case of a missed opportunity for a funny Finnicism in the form of “shit-stroke/shit-arrest”

Ahti dialogue while clearing darkness:

Darkness everywhere. New day, same old bloody shit, said the old lady. Like tar, but good for nothing. Get rid of it!

“New day, same old bloody shit, said the old lady.” – “Uusi päivä, samaa vanhaa paskaa, sanoi vanha täti.” This is not an idiom, but the “x, said y” format is a common one for proverbs, and a common way for people to quote wisdom from their family.

Ah, tar. Sauna, tar and booze, they’ll get you through anything! Like the winters in Finland. Long dark winters. As dark as in a sack, perkele.

“Sauna, tar and booze, they’ll get you through anything!” – this is a paraphrase of a saying that goes “if sauna, tar and booze doesn’t cure it, the disease is lethal”.

“As dark as in a sack” – “pimeää kuin säkissä”, common turn of phrase, what it says on the tin.

Ahti dialogue while cleaning up Mold:

The air in here is getting bad. The vents, they are full of mold-shit. It’s no good for you! Headache, nausea, mold-lung... Depression, but how can you tell when you’re a Finn? Helvetin home, eikö siitä nyt saatana pääse eroon.

“Helvetin home, eikö siitä nyt saatana pääse eroon.” – “(Helvetin) mold, is there really no way to get rid of it, (saatana)!” The sentence is in passive voice (“Can it not be gotten rid of”) which gets used in Finnish a lot to refer to ongoing problems.

You need to scrub that clean or there goes my reputation and honor. And then the good won’t swing.

“reputation and honor” – “maine ja kunnia”, common turn of phrase. The “honour” here does not mean personal honour, but rather community reputation.

“the good won’t swing” – “ei hyvät heilu”, common turn of phrase, usually used to threaten someone akin to “you’ll be sorry.”

More of it! This thing is completely leaving from the mitten. Perkele, saatana, helvetin helvetti. Loma tulossa ja tällästä paskaa.

“leaving from the mitten” – “lähteä lapasesta”, common idiom, “get out of hand”.

“Loma tulossa ja tällästä paskaa.” – “The holidays are coming and (we have to deal with) this kind of shit.”

Ahti dialogue while taking care of the plants:

They are very good listeners, you can tell them anything. Or you can sing to them. They like that.

For the plants in Investigations:

The plants in here have died standing up. Piruparat. Lighten them up!

“died standing up” – “kuolleet pystyyn”, common turn of phrase that gets used about neglected plants a lot.

“piruparat” – “poor devils”, again with the small first letter, referencing folk devils and evil spirits.

Ahti tells Jesse to take a break:

Hurry is not good for you. And the contract says you can take a break. Ten points and a parrot patch. Now you know what this job is all about. Could be worse. There are good benefits.

“Ten points and a parrot patch” – “kymmenen pistettä ja papukaijamerkki”, common turn of phrase, “ten points and a gold star”. Comes from an old children’s show called “Sirkus Papukaija” (“Circus Parrot”)

When you’re done with all the tasks:

Tattis! A crazy person works hard, and a wise person gets away with less. Happy vacation to me!

“Tattis” – “thank you”, a Swedicism

“A crazy person works hard, and a wise person gets away with less.” – “hullu huhkii, viisas pääsee vähemmällä”, a proverb about working smarter, not harder.

Here, have a little knick-knack as a thanks from me. Not too owly at all!

“Not too owly at all!” – “ei pöllömpi”, idiomatic, here meaning “impressive” or “well done”.

Ahti goes on vacation:

Now this boy left, said the son of Annikki Tähti. My assistant will keep work in the glove and the house standing. Lomille lomps, holiday homps.

“Now this boy left, said the son of Annikki Tähti.” – (Translator’s notes: *long pained groan*) This is a strange half-pun, half reference. The phrase usually shows up in Finnish as “nyt meikä lähti, sanoi Annikki Tähti” (“I’m leaving now, said Annikki Tähti”, a famous Finnish iskelmä singer who is not relevant to the phrase other than to create alliteration). Ahti is doubling up on the alliteration and saying complete nonsense as a result.

“keep work in the glove and the house standing” – “homma hanskassa ja tupa pystyssä”, common idiom, what it says on the tin.

“Lomille lomps, holiday homps.” – “Lomille lomps/lompsis” is a persistent popculture reference that lives on among Finnish conscripts and the rest of the culture. Ahti’s translation is quite accurate, although “lomps/lompsis” can be used as an onomatopoeia for stepping into a puddle/swamp, while “homps” means nothing. Alliterative jokes like this are common in Finnish.

Dialogue during Finnish Tango when you first enter the Ashtray Maze:

Broke. There is no way through. Badly made. Wolf shit. Somebody cut costs in the wrong place. Contact the janitor if you need to get through.

“Wolf shit” – “susipaska”. The word for wolf, “susi” is idiomatically used to mean broken, flawed or unusable, and is here a modifier for “paska” rather meaning the droppings of the animal.

Jesse contacts Ahti in The Foundation:

Aah. Aijai. Vikingit saatana. Ei kestänyt ruottalaisen veljekset kunnon löylyjä.

“Aijai” – Filler phrase. Literally means “ouch/ouchie”, but can be used to signal appreciation.

“Vikingit saatana. Ei kestänyt ruottalaisen veljekset kunnon löylyjä.” – “(Saatana), them vikings. The Swedish brothers couldn’t stand a proper löyly.” “Löyly” is both the steam from throwing water on the stove in a sauna, and the humid warmth that follows from “throwing löyly”. Ahti is making fun of the Andersons for not tolerating a hot sauna. It’s a very common shot across the border for Finns to say Swedes don’t tolerate “real” löyly. (Translator’s note: Ahti is using “ruottalaisen” rather than “ruotsalaiset”, as is typical of the Ostrobothnian dialect)

Hey, girl. For a Finn, holiday is holy, perkele.

“holiday is holy” – The word for any nationally mandated day off (+ Sundays) is “pyhäpäivä”, literally “holy day”. Extended national holidays, such as the three days around Christmas, and even long weekends can be called “pyhät”, the holies.

Did you miss me? Did you have piss in your sock? Yes. Now now now now. Bark don’t make a wound. You did good. Take my cassette player. You can borrow it. The song is a present from my friends to you. It will get you through the maze so you can do your job.

“piss in your sock” – “kusi sukassa”, common idiom, meaning “frozen with fear”

“Bark don’t make a wound.” – “ei haukku haavaa tee”, common proverb, “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”

Ahti in Jesse’s Hiss nightmare:

Are you sure you are not lost? Maybe you can find yourself in the Director’s Office. You should keep trying. You are getting closer. Welcome back. I knew I chose a good assistant.

Closing notes: Despite Ahti having significantly less dialogue in Control than he does in AW2, this document ended up nearly as long as the other one. All the way through working on this I’ve been commenting on how his English is both weirdly better and worse in AW2, like, his use of English overall is a lot less stumbling and his vocabulary seems larger, but at the same time he uses less English, relies on just directly saying in Finnish what he’s thinking, using a lot more filler Finnish… It’s an interesting choice overall.

I’m not sure it’s relevant to the character, but having seen it I’m now gonna be very interested to hear what he sounds like if he shows up in Control 2 or other relevant RCU projects :3c Hope you had fun, and maybe learned something new.

[kumezyzo]

Hey! Love all your work, could you do a scene where sapnap and reader are roommates for a while and eventually he kisses them on a random night and they’re super awkward cute the day after😭😭 sort of like a new girl jess and nick type thing

tysm!!

so, ive literally never watched new girl 😭😭 but i hope this is to your standards 😊

this is me after writing it... i made it more angsty before the fluff. please forgive me 😭😭

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

you and roommate!sapnap started rooming together as to be able to pay rent. you met through a mutual friend who knew you were both looking for a roommate. neither of you are friends with this person anymore, tho lol

when you moved in together, you kinda avoided each other and minded your own business. you knew he was a gamer because who else stayed up that late yelling into a mic. but it was fine because he paid for a large part of the rent.

then, one night, the power went out.

you heard a knock on your door as you tried to flick your desk light back on. you got up and opened the door in confusion.

"hey, did your power go out too?" sap asked, peering into your room with his hands playing with the hem of his hoodie.

"yeah, i guess," you said, stepping out to look around the apartment. he followed after you as you took note that the microwave and oven were both missing the blinking green time.

"shit, i thought i did something," he joked, looking around awkwardly. you gave him a pity laugh, moving to go back to your room. he followed behind you. "did you wanna... hang out? my pc died, and i don't really have anything else to do..."

and that started the more-than-acquaintances relationship between you and roommate!sapnap. you two went out for a walk in hopes of coming back when the power came back and had a normal conversation for the first time. and as time went on, you got closer.

quarantine was definitely the turning point for you and roommate!sapnap. you were spending the most time together and truly enjoying eachothers company. and that's when it was hard for him to hide his streaming from you.

roommate!sapnap made sure to ask if you wanted his stream to know about you and respected whatever decision you made. and when his viewers learned you were his roommate, they truly started to love you from your few appearances.

and obviously, that led to roommate!sapnap telling you about dream and george. they already knew about you... and he got to introduce you to them over Discord. he was glad to see you get along with them.

you and roommate!sapnap even started cuddling when you'd watch movied together. it started off with you sharing a blanket. then you would lean on his shoulder. then his arm would naturally curl around your waist.

but then the months of this bliss ended. and roommate!sapnap told you he was dropping out of college.

"so... i was thinking..." he trailed off as you took your last bite of your burrito bowl. it was his idea to get Chipotle for dinner.

"mhmm?" you hummed playfully, urging him to continue.

"i was thinking about dropping out..." he said, looking at your face diligently for a reaction. your chewing stopped abruptly as you stared at him blankly for a moment. then you looked away, swallowing your food. it suddenly turned sour.

you took a sip of your water, "when did you come up with this?"

"I'm making more money now than i would if i finished school," he shrugged, looking away from you. "and... dream asked me to move in with him."

"and... you said yes?" you asked, sadly. he nodded. "wow, you ready to get rid of me so soon." you joked, smiling painfully at him.

"no, no," he immediately denied, catching you off guard. he moved closer to you. "i really like living with you. like... really like it."

you smiled at him softly now, "well, it was a nice run then." he nodded solemnly, and you began to get up slowly, throwing away your trash.

when you started to walk back into your room, roommate!sapnap grabbed your wrist. it was a suprise when he lightly pulled you closer to him. your stomach erupted into butterflies being so close, face to face with him.

"i like you," he basically whispered. you searched his eyes to see if he was lying. but it didn't seem like he was. "i just needed to tell you that..."

you nodded, your eyes on his lips. and before you could think, your lips were against his. and you weren't sure who started it. all you knew was that you liked how soft his lips were. they were as plump as you thought they'd be.

then, roommate!sapnap pulled away and looked at you with a dazed expression before pecking your lips again and running off to his room. he left you sufficiently surprised and conflicted.

the next morning, you were sure you had dreamed it all up. but then you remembered how he was truly planning on moving to florida. and he kissed you, and you weren't sure if you could see him again so soon.

you walked out of your room to go to the bathroom, heat rushing through you when you passed his door. when you brushed your teeth, you felt a pang of hurt looking at his toothbrush, knowing it would be gone if he did leave.

and you were more than surprised when you saw roommate!sapnap already in the kitchen, drinking from a half empty water bottle. you both froze, remembering the kiss you shared just the night before. you gave him a nod of acknowledgment before starting on your morning coffee.

you knew he was staring at you as you poured yourself your morning coffee. your face was hot, and you felt every slight movement he made. you sat away from him, scared that if you got any closer, you'd maybe scare him away.

but roommate!sapnap decided he should say something to ease the silence.

"about the kiss..." he started, and you glanced at him briefly, trying to engulf yourself in the brewed drink. "i didn't hate it..."

you felt more butterflies in your stomach, starting batting against your ribcage. "i... didn't either."

he nodded, although you barely saw it out of the corner of his eye. "did you want to... do it again... maybe...?"

roommate!sapnap you couldn't stop kissing you after you gave him the greenlight. you giggled against him when he groaned something along the lines off, 'i was dreaming about this all night.'

but he truly couldn't stop after that day. it was easy with the cuddling and the night walks and talks. but he was actually moving out soon. so he took it upon himself to make a real move.

"will you be my girlfriend?" he asked you randomly as you two cleaned up the snacks you laid out for movie night.

you turned to him, shocked. "i thought... aren't we... isnt that what this is?"

his eyebrows furrowed as he thought for a second, a pout forming on his lips as he crossed his arms. you laughed, walking over to him and planting a peck on his lips.

"i would love to be your girlfriend," you told him, making him look away shamefully. "took you long enough to ask."

he rolled his eyes playfully, "whatever," he laughed, kissing you deeply.

although it was an end of an era, you both knew it would work out. you two would make it work out.

i lowkey hate this so much. i hope you enjoyed it, tho. -Nony

p.s. free palestine