#i think more can be said on this subject but i think concise and short is better because less is usually more

[eternal-echoes]

Thoughts on how misogynistic catholicism is?

I'm not going to deny that there are definitely guys within the Catholic Church that hide their misogyny in the guise of "traditionalism." It's the result of the Fall and Original Sin; pride made them that way.

But the teachings of the Catholic Church, especially in banning pornography, elevates the status of women compare to the secular world. She's not just an object to be used for pleasure; she deserves to be respected because she's made in the image and likeness of God.

Men who calls them Catholic but fail to uphold this teaching by watching porn in close doors are not authentic Catholic.

The Catholic Church lists a bunch of female saints that the faithful can ask intercessory prayers from to help them live holy lives:

St. Joan of Arc

St. Catherine of Siena

St. Catherine of Alexandria

St. Therese de Lisieux

St. Teresa of Avila

St. Mary of Magdalene

That's all the saints that I can think of on the top of my head.

Also, we Catholics venerate the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary as the mother of God. We don't dismiss her role in salvation history by giving birth to Jesus Christ the Redeemer like other Christian sects do.

So no, the Catholic Church is not misogynistic.

If you have more specific questions, anon, feel free to ask.

[beauty-and-passion]

CCCC Vol.1 - Calamity: introducing the chaos

Hello, everyone.

I made my offer, you accepted. And so, here I am, to talk about Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium, Vol. 1.

It will be quite a long ride, so let’s not waste more time and let’s start with…

_______________________________

Obligatory premise

I am not an expert on Chonny Jash, Tally Hall's albums, or any other song besides CCCC. All I know about Chonny is this album, the Q&A cj-anon told me about (thank you, bro! You can read it HERE) and that Mr. Jash has some fine curly hair - and, as a possessor of curly hair myself, I find him very stylish.

So my analysis won't be filtered through the lenses of a fan who knows everything about him. This is the perspective of someone outside the CCCC fandom, who focuses mostly on the album, the songs and all the small details an "outsider" like me might find interesting.

That means two things:

I might say things that are already well-known in the fandom. In that case, sorry for the repetition, I hoped to say something new. But also, hey, that means the album's message was so clear, even an outsider could get it.

I might say things that are wrong/have been denied by Chonny Jash himself. It's unlikely, considering that the man welcomed every interpretation and said it's up to us to decide/read the story as we want, but still, it might happen. In that case, please let me know through messages or reblogs, so I can add the correct information and make my analysis more complete.

One last thing, for all the people who have never heard of this album: the themes are mostly centered around tragedy, mental dissonance and suicide, so they’re not the funniest topics to talk about. Still, If they do not trigger you, try and give this album a chance: it'll be worth your time. I even wrote a whole post to explain why.

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My sources

The whole album on YouTube (also, subscribe to Chonny Jash's channel and stream CCCC too, because it deserves it)

This blog that gives a wonderful insight into the songs

The great people on Genius.com always pay a lot of attention to every word of the songs

And here's the Q&A once again, because it always comes in handy

_______________________________

Why a “Charming Chaos Compendium”?

I know Chonny wanted to mimic the "Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum" album title, so instead of MMMM, we have CCCC. But also, why "Charming Chaos' Compendium" specifically? Why not "Confused Catastrophic Compilation" or something else?

Maybe it’s just because “Charming Chaos Compendium” sounds better. But if we consider the whole album, I think these words are simply the best-fitting ones to talk about.

* Chaos: That’s a chaotic album indeed: we have dark thoughts, fears, references to death. Heck, the longest, central section is called “Cacophony”, which shows even better the concept of chaos.

* Charming: Chonny said in the Q&A:

"I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the idea of duality and mental dissonance, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a social/moral perspective. The idea that the same brain can produce completely separate and juxtaposed conclusions from a single input is strange, and something I’ve noticed fairly frequently throughout my currently short life. CCCC is a manifestation of those dissonances from an extremely personal and biased perspective, in song form."

These concepts might be dark, but there’s also a charming component of them - if we consider the adjective “charming” with the meaning of “fascinating”. The “duality” of our brain is one of the mysteries of humankind’s nature that we still can’t fully grasp - a lot of people play with it, like Chonny does here. It’s fascinating to see how he does it and what his interpretation is.

* Compendium: a compendium is a "collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject" and what's more concise and detailed than a two/three minute song that should explain the situation, show the characters and explore their feelings?

Also, it’s a word of Latin origin - and not the last one, considering Chonny will use three more words with Latin origin to title the three acts of his album (Calamity, Cacophony, Concord).

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Time Machine Reprise: start of a new loop

What a peculiar choice for an opening song. What kind of album starts with a reprise?

Well, maybe one that is a time loop. And Chonny made it clear two things about it:

he’s stuck inside it because of the constant clash between Heart and Mind

maybe he will get out of said loop by "writing different songs"

Keep both of them in your mind, when we will reach the last songs of Concord.

Also, do not forget why this is the Calamity act: as the name suggests, a calamity is a “disastrous event that leads to tragic, dramatic consequences” - in this case, the split of Chonny’s mind into three parts.

But what is this event? What happened that was so “disastrous” to lead to such a drastic split? And how are the two things connected?

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Dream: Soul's introduction

It’s very telling that the first character who appears right after Chonny’s introduction is Soul. And it’s even more interesting, if we remember what Chonny said about Soul in the Q&A:

"The Soul is slightly separated — fittingly — in that I didn’t know exactly what to call the character when I was first bringing them to fruition. ‘Body’ was the original name if I remember correctly, but it felt kind of wrong, as I wanted the character to be a little less concrete/tangible. The third character was always meant to be a sort of husk/shell/veneer, and so it took me a while to settle on ‘Soul’."

So, Soul:

is slightly different/separated from Heart and Mind

was supposed to be the Body

is a sort of husk/shell/veneer

And if we also consider that:

Soul’s introduction comes right after Chonny’s

Soul often refers to Chonny/Whole by using the words “me/myself” (Mucka Blucka, The Soul Eclectic, The Bidding), while Heart and Mind talk about Whole as “their vessel”

I think we can safely assume that Soul is closer to Chonny, compared to the other two sides. And we have a confirmation of that, considering Soul’s nature: since he’s a husk/shell, Soul “contains” Chonny, while Heart and Mind are more like “attributes/aspects” of Chonny.

In addition to that, Dream adds other information about this character:

*Soul is aware of the loop: Soul’s reaction to the start of a new cycle is panic, then tiredness. "I don't know if I can go another round of cacophony", he says and that alone proves he knows what happened and he knows what will happen, because he already experienced all of it.

This point is also fundamental for the worldbuilding, because it implies that Chonny and his sides have the same amount of information and the same level of awareness. Unlike works like Sanders Sides in which the parts hide information from their whole, CCCC does not have this delay. All Chonny knows, his sides know as well.

*Soul is tired of Heart and Mind: "My sympathy's draining me dry" implies that there was a time (maybe in previous loops) in which he was more sympathetic towards them. But after reliving the loop who knows how many times, he’s growing tired of their constant bickering.

*Soul is more powerful than Heart and Mind: this is only the first time he implies they need to “take him over”, but neither of them is strong enough to “control him”.

*Soul is moved by the will to live: for the entire album, Soul has one goal and one goal only. To reunite. To come back into one. And even if he gets tired of Heart and Mind, even if he ponders suicide, to finally get some peace, in the end it’s hope that prevails. Right when it seems the dark thoughts are taking over, Soul finds the strength to try again, one more time. And maybe "when we become whole, it'll hold".

All of this is not motivated by religion or faith in a superior being, but by pure, simple, will to live. Life is short, so it’s better to give it a try anyway, rather than not try at all and regret it.

But that’s not all. This song also introduces names here, so let’s talk a bit about them too:

Apollo - god of the sun, but also of arts, oracles, and knowledge. Wikipedia also adds:

His oracles were often consulted for guidance in various matters. He was in general seen as the god who affords help and wards off evil. 

and

Apollo also encouraged the founding of new towns and the establishment of civil constitutions, is associated with dominion over colonists, and was the giver of laws.

Wow, isn’t that very fitting for Mind? He also wants to become the "giver of laws" and the one who "wards off the evil” aka Heart (The Mind Electric).

Artemis - sister of Apollo, associated with the moon, goddess of nature and animals and:

(she) punishes harshly those who cross her. Artemis' wrath is proverbial, and represents the hostility of wild nature to humans

So Heart isn’t associated with love and kindness as anyone would expect, but with wilderness and instincts.

And wow, isn’t this fitting as well? Heart himself will tell he’s not just the love, but also “the hate” and “the emotional side”. Of course he’s wild and impulsive. And yes, there’s also the Juno incident which is another great proof.

Atlas - a Titan condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. Basically Soul’s job: to keep everything together, while the other two fuckers slowly make their vessel crumble. And he does it in all the time loops. Poor Soul, he definitely needs a vacation.

Harmonia - goddess of harmony and concord. That should represent the union of these three characters into Whole/Chonny. And I love that Wikipedia specifically used the word "concord" - the same Chonny chose for his third act. He was saying from the start that this is the goal to reach.

And they will, but only by going through a long, long round of Cacophony.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow@effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker  @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads @dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[swordfright]

do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

[tanejineri]

alright chat, i swore it

i'm going sentence case for this, i have been thinking about this for a while now, and it's going to drive me fucking insaaane so bear with me here. also just a note i am autistic and this subject is a huge point of passion for me so also bear with me on that part everything underlined is a link that will take you to the sources of everything discussed if you need a refresher alrighty enjoy rahh

How Not to Transition to Human: A Psychoanalysis of Magpies and Fassad

INTRODUCTION

Hello! Hi! It's me, your favorite ibuprofen addicted love child of an asshole and autistic person resulting in an autistic kind-of asshole. To my fellow neurodivergents, I have a question for you--are you human?

If your answer is yes, you'll probably not understand this essay very well. If your answer is no, you'll understand it very concisely. I, myself, am not human. It's common for those with neurodiversity to not attach themselves to humanity and instead connect with things that aren't human, whether it be an animal, an insect, or inanimate things. Or fantastical creatures! I myself am a chimera. Not like MOTHER 3 or Fullmetal chimera, I am a hare-stone marten-coyote-porcupine-cat hybrid. Or I simply refer to myself as a jackalope.

You've probably already clicked off, thinking to yourself, "What is this guy waffling about?! I came here to read a Fassad analysis, not about what fucking animal I'd be!" Well, this is all necessary so hold on. This lack of humanity can come from being born in a way that is different, and therefore people treat you differently. Or, maybe you feel more comfortable feeling closer to identifying with those animals because you understand them more than what you were born as. Being non-human identifying is similar to being transgender, just as that is also associated with autism.

Now I'm not autism coding anyone today, but what if you weren't born human? Let's say you were born as what humans would consider an animal?

THE LINE BETWEEN HUMAN AND ANIMAL

Magpies. Not the birds, not some sports team somewhere in this world, the replacement word I use for mag******. Everyone has a different word for them, but I like to say magpie.

You are a human who just happens to run into something that looks human, seems human, but clearly there is something off about them. They could have more hair than you, maybe unnatural proportions. They could have weird feet, weird colors, weird behavior. You'd consider that an animal. Refer to the beginning of Chapter 7, when they tied up Ionia. That is what you'd do with an animal.

Magpies are human at their base--their sentience, their appearance, and their way of living is very much so human, but it seems that there are some things that clearly allude to their lack of humanity. Humanity is such a strict construct, that you could be considered an animal on some aspects. In this case their mentality, and their behavior. Magpies are hyperfeminine (by human standards), and they are, in a sense, immortal beings. Along with their strong connection to the Dragon and the Earth, this is something that a person could discriminate about.

The magpies, not being human, alienate humans from themselves as the humans do with them. Refer to Chapter 1 in Aeolia's shell at the tea party. Having just helped a boy, and not understanding the urgency of the family, considering his life as meaningless in their eyes, even laughing about it amongst one another. "Oh, get over yourselves. / We couldn't care less about you humans. Here one minute and gone the next. (...) Why would anyone bother to care about such short lives?" And even though Doria stepped up, they still talked about it as a different way of thinking. You could sympathize with their words, but it's clearly one said out of understanding and less about sympathy. "Humans worry about such short lives. / Isn't that right, Alecy-poo?"

You could try to consider magpies human as much as you please. However, this does not mean that they would consider themselves human in comparison to you. You are not a magpie in their eyes, nor are you "biologically." You never will be. Just as they'll never be human to you "biologically."

However, this doesn't mean they are locked away from identifying with humans, just as with the other way around. The border between human and animal in general is very thin, almost non-existent, as we ourselves have scientific names. What makes a human different from an animal? The answer is their way of living.

THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF LOCRIA

It is never explained why Locria left. We know what Locria is, but we do not know who they are. I mean, we do know, refer to Chapter 8 and the 100 floors, but we don't know them as a person from prior to this. The magpies briefly mentioned them in passing (refer back to Chapter 1), but there seemed to be little to almost no concern on their whereabouts from the party. Overall, before they became who we know now as Fassad, they are an enigma overall. The most we can do is theorize who they were and what caused them to turn their back on the others. Hehehe. HEHEHE-

Okay, maybe I lied. This isn't very much of a scholarly essay as it is me pouring my stupid little headcanons over your head and stating them as fact. But obviously it's not fact because I just admitted to it being headcanons. Alrighty, let's dig into it.

What is the difference between a magpie and a human beyond their biological dichotomy? Look into their behaviors and their significance of their life. Refer to Chapter 7 with Doria and how eager they are to have their needle pulled. Have you ever thought about how excited they are for what is essentially their death? All of them are. The way they jump around, the way they praise Lucas for being there for them. They don't protest for the Masked Man to either. They have no control over their fates, and they have accepted that. It is the way of the Dragon and that is how they were made to fall.

Humans are afraid of death. We find the idea of lacking free will horrible, a pessimistic point of view in our eyes. To lie down and kneel to a life of no control all to a force that doesn't care for whichever way your life goes, whether the world lives or dies, is torture. What fear they have is what pushes them onto wanting to change. Whether it be themselves, or those around them, or whether they live or die, humans live for themselves. And they know that.

Fassad is comically evil. He does whatever he likes, hurts because he can, and wants to push others down. Have you considered what Locria could have been like? Certainly not the same. They were presented as kind, having a little mouse friend and taking good care of it. They could have known Kumatora when she was a baby, and this brings me into this.

Perhaps Locria has seen the beauty of human life through Kumatora. Watching her grow, the way she works around, how she can just grow up and love, to live around the castle of a family long gone. She could live anywhere. She could die anywhere. She had free will. And there is some envy you would feel knowing that you're locked to your own fate while the one you're caring for gets to flourish past you.

Humans have free will, while a magpie does not. All they do is bring prophecies to others like angels, while they sit around and gossip amongst another with nothing going on. There's only so much monotony that one can take before they snap.

TO TRANSITION TO HUMAN

Tell me, my good human. What makes a human? It's not their dichotomy. It's there behavior and actions, as well as their sentience. You look at a talking animal and don't go "That's an animal," you go "That's an anthropomorphic animal." Anthropomorphism is a term you are very much so familiar with and have experienced all throughout your life. Humans love to connect with animals by giving them humanoid traits, or even objects. Objects made to look like animals, animals made to look like toys. Give them all life with human traits. Give it a name, give it a voice, make it move.

Anthropomorphism cannot apply to something already sentient. It would rather instead be known as "human." The way people refer to elephants as "human" simply because they show emotion. Well, let's stop being all giddy and smiley all the time. Perhaps there are some concerns to voice. Let's say you don't like the idea of living an idle life of talking over and over and lounging around for hundreds of years to come. You'll express frustration. They don't like that.

Humans don't dress over the top and flaunt themselves like birds. They prefer simplicity. Some like complexity, those are the outliers, but the majority prefers things in colors you see every day. Green for the grass and leaves. Brown bark. White clouds. Snow. Blue water. Yellow flowers. Golden flowers. Okay ok ok ok ok you get it you fucking get it okay? IM JUST BEING ON THE NOSE- Perhaps you wish to be attune with that. More colors of what you see every day. You wish to be a part of nature, not a stand out against it. They don't like that.

Like animals, humans wish for survival. They live and fight to survive. Wars, pack divides, fight for dominance, establishment of hierarchy. "I'm better than you!" "Well, my mane is darker, therefore I am better than you." Rabbits have very loose napes so that they can run away from the grasp of predators when caught. Crane flies' life spans are so short that they live simply to mate and die and keep their life going on through generations before. The one thing that every living being wants to do is stay alive. So why shouldn't we? Why should we lie down when we can stand up? Perhaps I don't want to die. Perhaps I wish to live my life. I want to talk amongst the people, to love, to die in a way that is not by fate, but rather my own volition.

Nobody likes that. See, being a magpie, you are a headstone of the Dragon. You don't choose when to live, or to die, or whether or not you'll be happy or sad during that time. Everything is a flow of one direction.

To humans, that's known as pessimism. There are religions, yes, where our fates are predetermined, and the God will give us missions, struggles, to see if we make it up to their Heaven or burn in their Hells, but to the normal, every day person, this is pessimism.

Humans around negative energy are quick to react to it and wish to run away from it. We all run from death. And so does Locria.

THE FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR A HUMAN

The only human Locria interacted with was a child, Kumatora. That would be a good frame of reference if it weren't for the fact that it was a child. But let's say they were to meet another human. One who can change everything for them. Get this, someone with an offer nobody could refuse.

Hello chat, welcome to the reason why Fassad is a bitchass motherfucker. He's modelled off of Porky Minch. I KNOW, FAR FETCHED. BUT HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT. Sure, there's Alec. But how do we know when the fuck he joined in? Or how long ago all the planning took place? Okay, boom. Shot that down. Porky in MOTHER 3 is the worst thing on earth. I don't want any defenders of Porky right now, because it doesn't change the fact that he's an asshole. Okay?

Porky disregards the well-being of his citizens by creating elaborate ways to torment people who don't follow his way (refer to Thunder Tower as a whole), acts nonchalant, aggressive, and dramatically with those around him (refer to Chapter 8, post-Pork Bot fight), and sees no humanity in animals (Chimera) and even uses them for his benefit in cruel and unusual ways (refer to Chapter 5, the electric catfish). Keep all of this in mind.

Considering Locria's vulnerability and desperation during this time I would believe, it'd be easy to fall into the hands of someone who would offer you something you been wanting--invulnerability. Get this--have you noticed that they only found the Final Needle after Fassad died? Refer back to Chapter 8. Sure it could have been set up to appear that way, but have you considered that this might have been intentionally delayed while he was around? Fassad was able to live his life however he pleased, do whatever he pleased, treat everyone and everything around him as he pleased. And at the end of it all, he was a magpie according to game allusions. It was the final, yes, but why that one? Beyond the digging, they could have easily done it faster with machinery, yet they chose human labor. Food for thought, food for thought. Colon three. :3.

A chance to live your life as freely as you like. That is what the invulnerability offers you. You don't have to worry about your fate, because your fate is protected by the one who you believe will stick to his word. Looking past the assholery and manipulative feel of this person, seems like someone who will be able to help you. He has big plans, and they need you. Perhaps you could help in some way to bring this guy power. You could use the others...

There has to be an intense moral breakdown to have gotten Locria to side with Porky, let alone follow him. Some type of string pulling, words drizzled in honey, anything. What could have brought you to abandon what is essentially your family to join the side of darkness? It's obvious. Invulnerability. Safety amongst my arms. A gift of wax wings to fly however you please. So, now what?

HUMANITY IS INHERENTLY EVIL

MANKIND IS A FAILURE. FREE WILL IS A FLAW. LET THE EVIL OF THEIR OWN LIPS CONSUME THEM. THEN I SHALL BEGIN AGAIN, WITH MY WORD AS LAW.

sorry for the interest overlap teehee <3

What does an animal feel when it sees a human? Does it run? Does it hide? Does it bite? Does it investigate? And does its investigation result in its death? A lot of religions believe that humanity is an inherently evil race. Why am I talking about religion so much? Hyperfixated fuck- A lot of people believe humanity to be inherently evil. We spoil the Earth with our presence, as we were not made to progress this far.

Porky is an inherently evil person. He refuses to change even to his end (refer to Chapter 8, Absolutely Safe Capsule), he's all the things I listed prior, and so far he's the only real frame of reference that we have for a human that isn't Alec and Kumatora. He's everything that we can only look at now. Sure, people can be good, but Porky isn't. He's the example of the worst that can come of humanity.

You have to blend in with those around you, so you take from them as you go. So what does he do? He disregards the well-being of the villagers and manipulates them into doing what he wants, subtly tormenting them in ways that will get them to follow his way, acts aggressive and overreacts dramatically to the most minute things, and is needlessly cruel to an animal he needs to use for Porky's volition. All come from Chapter 3, and here¹ they² are³ in order.

I KNOW. I'M STRETCHING. BUT BUT UHHH. UM. UH- I'm always right!

So now we've reached the point of no return. Fassad mimics the bit of human he sees in Porky and increases it tenfold there-in turning against everything that he was born as when it comes onto morals, ways of living, and of course appearance. Because so far this is what a powerful human being has been. A cruel, relentless being. And the weaker ones are meek, easy to deceive. Their softness is what brings about their downfall, and overreliance on one another their playing into hands.

But it's on them. Humans are what twisted Porky to be the way that he is. All humans are evil by Fassad's standards. They hurt one another, intentional or not, and they're selfish for all their power. He follows Porky's rhetoric to a T--they'll always sign their own death warrant.

CONCLUSION

I have no idea what I'm trying to say here, to be fucking honest. Fassad is a complicated case of extreme mirroring and loss of self all because he felt different than how he was born as. Obviously, he's also transgender by definition of switching over from what he was born as. I know that's not a part of the essay, but it's something of note because the switching over to the binary was alongside his transition as a person.

Yes, the game wants you to believe that he was a magpie. And he once was! No matter how many mustaches he glues on his face, no matter how tightly he ties up his hair to hide it in his headdress, he will always be on the surface a magpie. But deep down, and even on the surface as well, he died human.

[jellymellydraws]

Masterlist ~ << Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter >>

Astarion x Dark Urge Chapter 22 -- All Fun and Games, Until It's Not Rating: E Tags: Angst, Fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn

Chapter Summary:

Rose innocently teases Astarion while they finish cleaning up the worg pits. The elf, however, wasn't in the mood to play..

The tension which hung in the pits had finally released. Even Rose's held breath was free with the druid's agreement to trust in her plans. The group gathered around Halsin asking questions of their own; many of which took their leader by surprise. With respect for the time they already spent, the only request she made of her team was to keep questions short and direct. They needed the druid to disappear, and they had to return to Minthara before she became suspicious of their lengthy absence.

"I don't suppose you know anything about The Absolute's plans for a Duke of the Gate?" Wyll asked with hesitant hope on his tongue.

Again, The Blade was worried about The Kidnapped Duke. She expected the subject to remain on his mind, but asking the imprisoned Druid? The goblins wouldn't be stupid enough to spill their full plans in front of him right?

"If I were to guess, quite possibly to implant a tadpole within him," Halsin answered plainly, "for what reason, I can't answer concretely."

That was expected. But for Wyll, he sighed with disappointment. She quietly pulled out her journal and flipped to its backpages. Earlier, she had noted Wyll's focus on the Duke, but seeing as he brought the subject up at the next chance he got-- she'd make sure to talk to The Blade about it later. A small star was scribbled next to the note regarding the Duke, along with a curved arrow pointing to Wyll's name.

"When we freed Liam, he told me you joined to find the Night Song," Shadowheart asked, "I was wondering if you made any progress on that?"

Night Song? That wasn't a note she recalled jotting down. Yet, it was on the cleric's mind. Hm... Reviewing the page in front of her, nothing mentioning the night or a song to be seen. Beneath what she wrote for Wyll, she added another one.

Shadowheart -- Night Song???

"Their stout companion had a map-- or rather, I think it was a poem? Something upon his person that was to aid in finding a path to the Night Song," Halsin explained, "their contract only directed them as far as this temple, however. Without a description of what the Night Song is, I cannot say what they would be searching for. More unfortunate, he was one of those overcome by the goblins when we arrived. I cannot say what became of his notes after that."

"A shame..."

"Thank you for entertaining us, Halsin," Rose said. "If you're going to stay, we should at least send word back to The Emerald Grove that you are safe."

"Ah, yes of course." Halsin opened the flap from his pouch, which appeared comically small in his oversized hand. A scroll case was procured from it and gingerly placed into Rose's hand, "if you can get further from the temple walls-- maybe your camp, if it's far enough-- use this to send a message back to Rath."

Upon opening the scroll case, arcane sigils were penned onto rolled parchment. Some of the symbols resembled those she saw around the Grove, but nothing she could understand. Gale was close to her shoulder, trying to get a glance of the magical paper within. His silence signaled that even he couldn't immediately read the spell.

"Animal Messenger," Halsin explained, seeing the furrowed brows of both Assassin and Wizard, "the spell will recruit a small bird or squirrel to relay a message, in your words. This is a basic druidic spell, however, which means you should keep your concise-- or your message will be delivered incomplete. I will find your camp later. For now, I leave the Drow to you."

Rose handed Gale the scroll case for safekeeping before giving a firm nod to Halsin, "we've got it covered."

With one final look to his saviors, Halsin wished them well, and once again was engulfed in his warm golden magic. A massive form shrunk into that of a tiny furry rat, before skittering into one of the goblin burrows and disappearing from sight.

"If he could have done that the whole time-- why didn't he?!" Astarion groaned, "ugh, honestly," an accusatory finger pointed at Rose, "you need to start charging for the inconvenience."

"If that were to happen, how much do you think you'd owe her just for today?" Shadowheart smirked.

"Oh ha-ha." The elf sarcastically laughed.

Blood red were the threads which weaved together as her ideas budded, colored with half truths which dyed the fabric of her tale. 

'It was like that when they got there,' she would swear. 'The bear was long gone, not before spilling the blood of his captors.' 'The freshness of the corpses implied this escape was recent.' 'In fact, their diminished forces provided the opportunity he needed to make his escape!'

Yes...believable. They never met the druid-- never saw the druid. They got here, saw the corpses, and investigated before reporting back.

That could work...

However, there were fraying threads which threatened to undo the whole tapestry before it left the loom. Where did the grease come from, which covered the paws of the worgs? One of the ceiling braziers mysteriously plummeted to the ground, while its twin remained untouched; why? The giant spider --misshapen thanks to blunt force and oozing out of its slashed wounds-- could not have been killed by the bear, so who else would have done it?

Commander Minthara was sharp. Too sharp to miss these details, and certainly too sharp to allow Rose and her team to leave alive at the slightest whiff of a lie. 

If she was going to create a story, it needed to be believable. If there were any flaws to her story, she needed to explain them away.

And if the only flaw were to be found by investigating the worg pits, then maybe she should give no reason to investigate further.

It was coming together...

Step One: cover their tracks.

The pits were a mess of guts and rubble, courtesy of a wild bear charging through the whole place. Whatever body parts remained intact were slashed with Halsin's fury. Very little remained of her own group's influence. But what little did, needed to be dealt with to the best of their capabilities.

"Collect all your arrows and blades. Leave the corpses untouched. Any possible trace of our interference, I want it removed," Rose commanded from the stone railing, overseeing the lower pits as the natural acoustics carried her voice. "An experienced Commander such as Minthara would know the signs of disturbed bodies, I'm not taking any risks here."

Lae'zel pursed her lips, staring at the table she tossed aside when Astarion found the dead dwarf. But orders were orders. Without a second thought, the gith effortlessly lifted the table and slowly placed it back atop the butchered corpse. 

"I was looting that!" Astarion complained, holding the hand which narrowly escaped being crushed.

"We were given direct orders," Lae'zel said.

Astarion tutted to himself before rising to his feet and closing his bag. His glare lingered upon the warrior, but nothing was said further.

Gale leaned against his staff for support while casting mage hand around the place to pick up and carry bits and pieces of broken potion bottles. A cloth draped over his open palm, where the small shards were escorted and carefully covered. Stowing them in his pack, the cleverness of the idea struck Rose. By wrapping the glass in cloth, he would not mistakenly pierce himself when digging in his pouch. Simultaneously, it meant that the mess left from thrown grease jars and discarded potions, acids, and brews would not be found.

"You've done this before, I take it?" Rose smirked to the wizard.

"Ah, well you don't get to be of my academic level without a few broken vials," he chuckled, "although alchemists are more experienced in this realm, I'd imagine. I've had my fair share of destroyed potions-- or even shattered windows, depending on the study."

Another chuckle, but this time she saw a wince in Gale's eye. A guilty smile flashed up towards her, realizing he had been caught.

"I don't suppose...well, in my condition I was moreso hoping--"

"Do you need to go back to camp, Gale?" Rose asked, outright.

"That would be preferred, yes. Though, I suppose it'd be rather obvious if I were seen limping when I was the image of perfect athleticism a moment ago-- save for my knees...but that isn't new."

"Heh, give me a moment to think up a plan. I'm sure I can-- oh that cheeky little shit."

"What--"

"Eyes on me. Don't look away."

Gale stopped himself from his head turning. Rose maintained her position facing towards the wizard. From the corner of her eye, however, caught an interesting sight.

There, slinking towards the deceased heaps of worg corpses: silvery curls and pointed ears, Astarion. No one else around, and no doubt taking advantage of Gale distracting her-- leave it to a former Magistrate to prod at the potential loopholes in her commands.

"What is he doing...?" She whispered to herself.

No, it was way too obvious! Of course he knew she could see him-- hells, he was probably toying with her. Probably bored, now that she thought about it.

"Give me a second, I need to entertain the restless Artiste," She smirked, turning on her heel and quietly descending the steps towards their sneaky elf. 

"I said leave the corpses alone, Art-starion," she playfully chided, with her arms crossing casually over her chest, "that includes the hounds--"

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" 

His shriek ricocheted off the stonework, striking her silent as the hiss of his last word pierced her ears. Widened amber eyes locked onto equally widened rubies once he realized that the echo originated from him. 

Whatever color remained in his face, drained. 

Lips fluttered as he scrambled to recover.

"I-I mean--" his forced chuckle accompanied the slow, practiced, straightening of his posture, "an honest mistake, darling. You know, Wyll hasn't found anything to hunt around camp-- not for lack of trying, of course. The wilderness has been rather barren, hasn't it? I had thought I was doing our ever hard-working camp a favor. Unless," he extended an arm to Wyll, gesturally dragging him into his performance, "you think tonight would be different; why shouldn't we take these back to camp? Maybe it'll taste like wolf meat!"

Wyll's brow raised in skepticism, as his good eye glanced over to Rose. 

"Well?" She pushed for his response.

"Well..." the Blade began.

She shifted her weight onto one of her legs, raising her own brow, "you're not going to buy this--"

"He's not wrong..." he admitted, sheepishly smiling as a guilty hand rubbed the back of his neck. The apologetic strain in his voice did little to sooth the pain caused by her head whipping around with incredulity. "I mentioned the lack of animals earlier today...especially in these last few days."

"Seeeeeeeee!" Astarion cheered, appearing beside the Blade, arm draped over his newfound ally's shoulders, "if Wyll agrees with me, then I'm not being dramatic! We do have a lack of food reserves, and --while we're being honest-- I'm not sure how much longer we'll be lucky with fishing." He flashed another smile to her, before his gaze trailed above her head. 

As she followed his line of sight, she caught what he had settled on. Above her, Alfira and Gale were watching from the destroyed railing, and a sparkle of opportunity glinted in the elf's red eyes. 

"And here," he continued, pulling his arm off Wyll and briskly returning to the worg corpses, "we have perfectly good, and fresh food!" Quick fingers swiped over his tongue, pinching out a tiny flame at the end of one of the beast's ears. "I'll admit, it's ratheeeerrrrr, exotic, but it's nothing our magnificent Chef Gale of Waterdeep couldn't handle with his magical cooking capabilities. Isn't that right Gale? I know we've had a rough morning, you and I, but maybe we can break bread and put that behind us? Hm?"

"You know..." Gale began to stroke his beard, intrigued by the challenge.

Rose pinched the bridge of her nose, "no, don't--"

"I once read a cookbook of classic Faerunian recipes which challenged ambitious chefs to use non-traditional protein substitutes." 

"You're supposed to be smarter than this..." she whispered to herself in defeat, rubbing circles in her temples as a headache formed. 

"All settled then!" Astarion clapped his hands together. "We take one dead mutt back to camp, Gale cooks it into something delicious-- a reward for a job well done today-- and everybody's happy!"

He emphasized each point with a step towards Rose, smiling proudly as he closed the proposal with a low bow.

She had to admit: it was his best performance yet. An impromptu act, left on the stage before her, and joined by the best co-stars he could have asked for!

How could she say no?

"No." 

Easily, and with a smirk.

Astarion's expression dropped like a porcelain vase falling off a shelf; shattered. That glint in his eye-- the hope, pride, and excitement-- gone, "Fine," he grumbled, dejected, "I'll leave the damned thing to rot..." He shrunk into a small, slouched, broken man. With a downward gaze and furrowed brow, he turned on his heel and slunk up the small stairway.

Watching him, her eyes softened and chest twisted painfully. The immediacy which he shifted from playfulness to melancholy...the Worg wasn't that serious of a matter to him-- was it...?

From the corner of her eye, she saw Wyll staring after the elf pensively. There was some sort of understanding within his gaze. One she couldn't place, nor could reason the source of. When his eye fell upon her, the disappointment pierced her like a true flying arrow.

Gods damn it all. She wasn't in the wrong, here! If they weren't undercover, she'd let him take both those worgs! Hell, if it weren't for that, she'd let Astarion take every corpse his little heart desired back to camp in a rolling cart! 

Didn't they understand that?! How important it was that they didn't fuck this up?!

Rose's feet moved her up the steps after him, before reason could find her in the growing mountain of her frustrations, "Astarion--!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he whipped around, bowing sarcastically, "I forgot to ask: may I be dismissed? Or do you need anything, dear leader?"

This little shit, how could he be so fucking--

Her chest twisted again, now staring into his exhausted eyes. Dark circles pooled beneath them, made darker by how sunken they were. From within, she sensed a hint of pain. It was this same look, she realized, he had given her at camp earlier-- when she assured him that he'd be taken care of without owing her a silver piece.

“I was captured," echoed his voice from the previous night, "and kept as a slave," bearing a weight only the river could carry. "For the last two hundred years, that’s all I’ve been.”

...How could she be so thoughtless? 

Guilt snapped its jaws around her, overriding the mounting urge to retaliate against his insolence.

"...No," against all instincts, her face softened, "we'll finish up here. Take Gale back to camp with you and we'll meet you there."

"Tsk..." Astarion rolled his eyes, then pretended to examine his nails (which, again, were properly covered in leather gloves), "what makes you think I'm returning to camp?" 

"Fine, then don't-- I'm not going to stop you. But it would be a favor to me, if you snuck him out and dropped him off at camp."

"I'm right here," Gale chimed in, "and I'm not sure if I appreciate being spoken of like smuggled goods."

"Shut up, wizard!" Astarion snapped. "Ugh-- a favor, you said?"

"Add it to my tab," Rose said.

"Oh, I will." The Agitated Artiste glared at Gale, who looked more like he was trying to disappear than to be caught in his sights. "Come on, Gale. But if you pass out on the road, I'm leaving you there."

"Don't do that," she half-heartedly pleaded.

"Then I'm adding every inconvenience as an extra favor you owe me."

"How does that-- are you--" she shook her head at every possible rebuttal, "--okay fine, that's fine. Whatever it takes to get him there safe and alive."

"Pleasure doing business with you, I'll see to it the wizard makes it to camp in one piece-- one living piece."

Trepidation took over the wizard's face as he hobbled towards his irritated escort.

"I'm not going to carry you though," Astarion said as they walked up the stairs.

"That, I think we're agreed on," Gale responded.

Rose watched on as their back and forth quieted while their forms disappeared from the top of the staircase. There were probably better ways she could have handled that...

It also wasn't a very well-thought plan...

"Um, Rose..." Alfira's quiet voice approached her. When she looked over, the tiefling had an arm extended towards the bear-sized crater, "I'm not sure how we'll hide that." 

Ah, yeah that...might be a challenge. Pulling herself from her frozen stance, she sighed heavily staring at the massive hole.

On one hand, it would support her story that Halsin escaped after fighting viciously-- no sense in claiming there was a battle without signs that the goblins fought back. On the other hand, would this raise more questions? If the goblins could throw a bear with the power of the Absolute, why couldn't he be subdued?

Laying in a broken heap was Birka's corpse, the branded one. Her injuries would align with the story of a bear rampage. Perhaps this crater is merely evidence that she fought back?

Gods...there wasn't much else she could pull together with the scene.

They'll have to make due...

Next Chapter >> (to be posted)

[nofingjustaninchident]

the invisible bffism string has brought me here 👩‍❤‍💋‍👩

CONGRATULATIONS ON TWO HUNDRED FOLLOWERS MY DARLING GIRL 🥹 you deserve all the love the world has to offer and i cannot think of somebody more deserving of achieving such a HUGE. GOAL. than YOU! and i know i've said this about a billion times but i truly mean it, i'm SO ecstatic for you 🫂 WE'RE ON THE ROAD TO 1K 😈 (and TRUST i'm going to be there every step of the way)

NOW FOR YOUR GORGEOUS AMAZING PERFECT EVENT

i would LOVE! and i mean LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! to have don't take it personal as my first request for your event 💐

so now let me overshare to see which character you think for me 😊

⊹ i'm basically a leo valdez variant (it's true, rick riordan confirmed it himself) (my source? trust me bro) i tend to make a lot of sarcastic, witty comments instead of actually providing anything useful to a conversation except for the laughs

⊹ supreme certified overachiever ™ in whatever i do, whether it be for school, for work, or of my own volition i have to give 110% at all times. i'm an overachiever with a degree in perfectionism.

⊹ i'm a stickler for organization and doing things in a very systematic order (some would probably call me a control freak but.... denial is a river in egypt OKAY?!?) (i'm not a bad control freak everything just has to be perfect at all times.)

⊹ i tend to be very overcritical of myself and what i do. i've got chronic overthinkerism over here it's great, i'm living in paradise every day.

⊹ some random qualities i think match me: blunt, sarcastic, honest, caring, concise, helpful, and occasionally affectionate.

⊹ I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE! whether it be a random book character, a song, a movie, a celebrity, a topic of interest, or anything of the sort. i wholly invest myself in whatever topics tickle my fancy.

⊹ i'm an ambivert! i've never really felt like an introvert or an extrovert but instead resonated and felt like both! i can be really sociable while simultaneously wanting to stay home and read a book. i push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes and other times i keep myself confined to a box.

⊹ i tend not to take things very seriously and i'm not affected by things very easily. it takes a lot for me to be upset, angry, annoyed, saddened, or moved to be honest.

⊹ i love to make my own jewelry, i read constantly, i write pretty frequently as well, i love to connect music to my favorite types of media (books, tv shows, movies, characters, etc.), and i love singing (i used to do so in choir but i stopped after high school) it's still so much fun just to burst into whatever song is stuck in my head though

⊹ my favorite books are foolish hearts by emma mills, the raven boys by maggie stiefvater, and masters of death by olivie blake.

⊹ my favorite color is purple. it's been my #1 since i was like two or three 😭

⊹ professional yapper (i'd put another tm but i used it once) if you get me talking about a subject or topic i really, really love i will talk your ear off about it until there's a zombie apocalypse. i'll be dead and i'll still be talking to you as a sassy, well-dressed ghost.

⊹ i like to think i'm nick miller in a teenage girl's body. i'm basically him and he's me and we're the same.

ANYWAYS! i probably have a lot more information to put but i think that's good, right? I HOPE SO 😁 ANYWAYS! again take your time leah girl! i can't wait to see your answer <3

THANKS FOR COMING BABYYYY!!! you had me in tears with those first paragraphs and i love you so much!! thank you for all the support, and although we’re still fairly away from 1k i REALLY hope you’re here 😖😖

so.. you gave me a weird mix of characters. you’re like a perfectly-mixed-in-a-gorgeous-bun harry potter mixed with a little bit of the weasley twins and with a hint of percy jackson.

cause like, there’s so many things that are george and fred coded, and then comes percy, and then comes harry- my brain is short circuiting.

anyways, thank you for the love my baby!! soon it’ll be you 😖😖

[livinginsideabookshelf]

A little update

Hey, my lovely friends, it's been awhile.

So, there are no huge or major life updates to be said, unfortunately. But I took a break from reading for a while to focus on studying and working. But I am back!

I re-found my love for reading, with lots of new books and short story collections. So I am here to give a little update on the past few weeks of my reading.

Firstly, I realised I love Japanese literature. I don't know if it's the humour, the style of writing or just the subject matter but I have been loving it. It's also made me want to branch out into other places that I haven't read from before, so that's always exciting. So give me your best recommendations for books that aren't from English-speaking countries, as I want to broaden my horizons.

Secondly, I think short stories are my favourite genre to read. I have realised that I love short form content so I expect to be reading a lot more of them. I really love the concise-ness and also how quickly I can read them. So, give your suggestions for short story recommendations!

So in February so far I have read:

Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

Little Birds by Anais Niin

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston (DNF)

I am currently reading:

Life Ceremony by Sayaka Murata

To be taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (Audio-book)

Aesop's Fables by Aesop

I will give my full reviews for each at the very end of the month! Also if you haven't and want a sneak peak at the scores, follow me on goodreads.

Also from now on, I am only going to be posting my own original content!

[josiebelladonna]

honestly, the more I think about it, the more I see “fics for gaza” being fandom suicide.

if you really wanted to make a difference of some sort, to dedicate something you made to a charitable cause, it would make way more sense to fucking pay the writers to write fic or artists to make art, and then they donate a portion of that money to a cause of their choice, so not only is everyone happy, but you aren't being subject to something shady and kind of sick when you think about it.

it really is. it's dodgy as fuck and so many devoting time, effort, money, and energy to palestinian charities are going to be in for the rudest awakening in that they’ll be subject to charity fraud down the line because of how things work over there. are there fraudulent charities? absolutely, and there are a few posts on that blog talking about that. but really think about this for a second, and i said this to albartlab before i blocked her (and she didn't listen to me, either, typical of this fucking crowd): it's not like they can just take your money and get out of there willy-nilly, especially since egypt and jordan won't let anyone in, plus palestinians in general hate anything and anyone israeli and jewish so don't count on them fleeing to tel aviv any time soon. hell, why do you think the other arab countries want nothing to do with the palestinians? because they’re violently antisemitic (if you don’t believe me, just ask the saudis). how does anyone know that all of these charities aren’t a part of some money laundering scheme and they’re all lying to all of you because that’s what the palestinians have been caught doing time and time again?

it’s really fucking weird, too, especially when i think about the point above, too: why not just pay the authors and artists and they can ensure it goes to a charity? that’s how you properly sponsor something.

“no, no, see, we're giving the money to these palestinian charities and that’s how we’re sponsoring fic writers!” *sigh* first of all, that's not how sponsoring works. you are basically forcing people to write this shit for free—and a lot of these fics are utterly terrible, too, like i’m sorry but these fics are completely forgettable at best. i took a glimpse at their kinktober event, too (god fucking help me), and anyone who participates is limited to a thousand words for a fic and they strictly require you to do “x reader”/second-person perspective, too. i’m at a point now where i write a thousand word fic and i feel like i’m short-changing everyone. if you can be concise and not get complex emotions involved like me, more power to you, but there’s something off about this insistence. and people seem to be finally coming onto my side about the whole “x reader” thing and how it’s fallen so far. something off and weirdly backward about the whole thing.

second, you're giving your money to people who are most likely lying (because that's how all of this militantism started was through antisemitic hyperbole), or that money is just going to sit in the gaza strip until it inevitably goes to hamas, the PFIP, and the PLO because they were all brought to power in palestine. it inevitably goes to more terror. you're giving your money away to martyrdom. you're giving your money to more lies, more hyperbole, the real genocide on the horizon, one against the jews and israelis... really, even if those palestinian groups were to go away tomorrow, the radical civilians are now armed with a shitload of money, everyone elsewhere is radicalized by the ideology and will do anything to help the “poor helpless palestinians”, and the cycle continues forever because you can't kill an idea. george bush, jr. learned that the hard way.

and on top of this, you're trying to intersperse fanfic basically with commercials and it comes off as gross, especially when i go to that blog and check out some of the posts and you have so many people under 18 doing this. teenagers, kids, participating and donating because they don't know any better and they’re gullible enough to believe in the palestinian lie that they're the only people on earth who matter. i see people my age doing this and i'm always like, "what're you doing, stop that."

“this was paid for and brought to you by...!” although the fics weren't paid for and i may as well start writing a eulogy for fanfic.

[imladybbq]

Tumblr Uniting Marginalized Communities 

Tumblr is one of the many social media that exist and is used by young people for entertainment. What makes Tumblr stand out among the rest is that it is viewed as a “wild” or free-spirited platform (Wood 2022). Okay, let me explain it in a way that is easy for you to understand. Let us think of social media platforms as regular people in our life.   

Firstly, we have Twitter. It is known for its concise content, where people post or, as they call it, ‘tweet’, whatever topics within only 280 characters. Twitter users tend to tweet their personal thoughts on any interesting subject. I like to think of it as a younger sibling who is obsessed over trivial things and forcing you to listen to the nitty-gritty details of their day 😒.

Moving on, we have Instagram, where everyone can upload pictures or short videos. Typically, it ranges from their daily outfits, precious memories with friends and families, or a shoutout to various brand products. The culture of Instagram is aesthetically pleasing that it gives off the vibe of a person who takes hundreds of selfies per day, including everything and everyone around them.

Then, the star of the show, Tumblr, has everything from texts, pictures, videos, GIFs, music, and more. It is a crossover of blog sites and social media (Internet Matters Team 2022). Plus, people can even customize their own Tumblr accounts that represent their personalities. The media logic for this platform is not fixed like other platforms, and it provides its users with the freedom to express themselves (Wood 2022). There are no rules in whatever form of content you want to post! Personally, Tumblr really comes across as an introvert, maybe a weirdo, but definitely a cool creative person 😎.  

The reason I said that is because of the nature of Tumblr. There is no profile or friends list on the user’s account. It is anonymously created and may be tricky to identify who the owner is (Keller 2019 p 7). One doesn’t need to use their own pictures or names. Hence, this anonymity delivers a safe space for people to express themselves without judgement. Plus, this allows them to bring people together, creating a community with similar interests (Internet Matters Team 2022), be it film series, books or funny memes.  

What I want to bring up here, the anonymity culture really helps those marginalized communities, such as women and LGBTQ+ people, to bond and share experiences. I believe every woman has experienced some form of harassment, such as catcalling. Some even have gone through worse, and it can take years to get over such trauma. On the other hand, LGBTQ+ people have experienced harassment or isolation for so long because society still considers them abnormal. This makes them feel alienated from themselves and question their own worth.  

Not to worry, Tumblr is here to save the day! 🥳 As mentioned, the anonymity culture allows people to interact with their respective communities safely because each can connect to one other. A survey among LGBTQ+ respondents on their usage of Tumblr, and one of them said that Tumblr is a space to relate to each other through their experiences. It is a platform where they don’t necessarily ask for advice but more on gaining attention and support from other users (Byron et al 2019 p 2247).  

It goes the same for the feminists who use Tumblr to talk about feminism. A controversial topic can lead to debates, and sometimes it just goes south. But Tumblr provides a space where it is converse among those within the community only, which they can control and expect a better interaction result. They can control the flow of information and the people that can access it, which is called social privacy (Keller 2019 p 8). Due to this, Keller (2019 p 8) said that a lot of girls feel safer sharing their thoughts on this matter without worrying about the hate comments.  

Tumblr's ‘No Rules Allowed’ culture undoubtedly pushes the boundary of conversation topics we rarely hear daily. To some extent, the exposure of these taboo topics really helps, especially young individuals to learn about themselves and gain clarity of their identity. It tremendously helps in showing that there are many people out there who are like us and let us know that we are not alone.

References:

Byron, P, Robards, B, Hanckel, B, Vivienne, S & Churchill, B 2019, ‘“Hey, I’m Having These Experiences”: Tumblr Use and Young People’s Queer connections’, International journal of communication (Online), University of Southern California, Annenberg School for Communication & Journalism, Annenberg Press, p. 2239–. 

Internet Matters Team 2022, What is Tumblr? What parents need to know, Internet Matters, viewed 13 April 2023, <https://www.internetmatters.org/hub/news-blogs/what-is tumblr/#:~:text=It%20is%20host%20to%20more,people%20of%20similar%20interests%20together.>. 

Keller, J 2019, ‘“Oh, She’s a Tumblr Feminist”: Exploring the Platform Vernacular of Girls’ Social Media Feminisms’, Social media + society, vol. 5, no. 3, SAGE Publications, London, England, p. 205630511986744–.

Woods, K 2022, Tumblr is back. What does that mean for marketers?, Sprout Social, viewed 13 April 2023, <https://sproutsocial.com/insights/tumblr-marketing/>. 

[bishopusa12]

Inspiring Short Education Quotes for the Digital Age

Short education quotes can pack a powerful punch and provide insights and inspiration for individuals seeking to improve their knowledge and skills. These quotes are often concise, memorable, and impactful, and can serve as a quick reminder of the importance of education in our lives.

One such quote comes from the late Nelson Mandela, who famously said, "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." This quote highlights the transformative power of education and emphasizes the importance of investing in our own education as well as that of others.

Another short education quote comes from American author and speaker Zig Ziglar, who said, "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." This quote highlights the importance of taking action and starting the learning process, even if we feel inadequate or unsure of ourselves. It emphasizes that the journey of education is ongoing and that it is never too late to start learning.

Short education quotes can also provide insights into the value of learning from failure and making mistakes. For example, inventor Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." This quote highlights the importance of perseverance and resilience in the face of setbacks and emphasizes the value of the learning process, even if it involves trial and error.

Another short education quote comes from American author and civil rights activist Maya Angelou, who said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." This quote emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills in the educational process, and underscores the value of creating positive and supportive learning environments.

It is important to note that short education quotes are just a starting point, and that they should be viewed as part of a broader effort to gain knowledge and skills. Seeking out resources such as books, online courses, and workshops can provide a more comprehensive understanding of various subjects and promote lifelong learning.

Moreover, it is important to ensure that education is accessible to all individuals, regardless of their socio-economic background or geographic location. Educational inequalities can have significant social and economic consequences, and it is important to address systemic barriers to education and provide resources for all individuals to access education.

As technology continues to shape the educational landscape, it is also important to consider how we can integrate digital tools into our learning process. Short education quotes can serve as a source of inspiration and motivation in this regard, as they can be easily shared on social media and other digital platforms, creating opportunities for discussion and reflection.

One example of a short education quote that can be shared on social media comes from American author and political activist Helen Keller, who said, "Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much." This quote emphasizes the importance of collaboration and teamwork in the educational process, and can serve as a call to action for individuals to work together to achieve their educational goals.

Another short education quote that can be easily shared on social media comes from British author and philosopher Bertrand Russell, who said, "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." This quote highlights the importance of critical thinking and questioning assumptions in the educational process, and can serve as a reminder to approach learning with an open mind and a willingness to challenge our beliefs and assumptions.

Short education quotes can also serve as a source of inspiration for educators, who are responsible for shaping the learning experiences of students. American educator and author John Dewey once said, "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." This quote emphasizes the idea that education is a continuous process that extends beyond the classroom, and highlights the importance of fostering lifelong learning habits in students.

In conclusion, short education quotes can provide a source of inspiration and motivation for individuals seeking to improve their knowledge and skills, and can also serve as a starting point for discussions about education in the digital age. These quotes emphasize the transformative power of education, the importance of collaboration and critical thinking, and the need to foster lifelong learning habits. As we continue to navigate the rapidly changing educational landscape, it is important to remain mindful of the value of education in our lives and to seek out resources that support our ongoing learning and growth.

Short education quotes can provide valuable insights and inspiration for individuals seeking to improve their knowledge and skills. These quotes emphasize the transformative power of education, the importance of taking action and starting the learning process, the value of learning from failure and making mistakes, and the importance of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills in the educational process. It is important to view these quotes as part of a broader effort to gain knowledge and skills and promote lifelong learning, and to ensure that education is accessible to all individuals, regardless of their background or socio-economic status.

[thetetra]

So lets break this down part by part

"I love how you say this and completely ignore that the right is specifically granted to the People." See the part of my post where I said "Do I believe this personally? No." I guess I need to explain that I mean in writing that, that I personally disagree with the interpretation of the debate coming down on the side against the 08 decision. It is almost like I was talking about constitutional debate about interpretation because it is a separate thing than supreme court cases. Like sure it is a HUGE part of it, but you and I are almost involved in constitutional debate (mostly because you just read what you wanted to and ignored what wasnt cherry picked) and that has NOTHING to do with the SCOTUS! Your false equivalency is pointed out and denied.

Also, SCOTUS already determined that the 2A is not limited to militia service. DC v Heller, 2008. Which is actually the subject in the actual article. Whether that decision was right. Yes that is true, thankfully for me I am talking about constitutional debates.

So you're objectively wrong about "constitutional debates".

I want you to google the words 2nd amendment arguments constitutional debate because it is going to give you a link for constitutioncenter.org There you can get a well written, easy to read, examples of constitutional debates. There is history, there is context, there is court cases. It really is good stuff and I think it would raise your awareness of how academia and legal and historical can intermix but also be separate. Quite good stuff!

And you're bringing this up over a meme criticism of a strapline in the random opinion piece, not those debates.

Yes! It is a political meme that is making a point I agree with in an ignorant way and I was trying to point out how the natural assumption of "we have to argue about the meaning of things we cant just pass more amendments!" is a stupid way of thinking about it and how we should be thinking "this issue is still being debated about and it is very important to me. Hell they even argued about it as recently as 2008! We really should pass another amendment to REALLY drive home that this is about a singular humanbeing and citizen of the US being able to own guns and stopping stupid bullshit like getting flagged by the ATF because you buy 10 guns in a short amount of time or (I never found out if this is true or not so grain of salt) owning more than 20 guns makes you legally an armory and thus your guns can be federalized.

And not a word you said actually supports the original idea that "keep and bear arms" is ambiguous phrasing. That is true, I was trying to make an entire other point that went WAY over your head because you failed to read my entire message or make any attempt to argue in good faith or really do anything else other than use me as an excuse to get angry and have a little rant about it!

Calling something "misinformation" doesn't actually prove them wrong, especially when you have provided absolutely no evidence. Please see above for your beloved evidence. I was responding to as you put it "a meme criticism of a strapline in the random opinion piece" I generally dont put a crazy amount of work into little things like a minor critique, but I will pull it out for someone who is being ignorant and confident about it.

Just claimed it totally exists. I mean you can totally look it up yourself. Seriously please read a book.

Also, the original article came down on the side of the Heller decision, with qualifications. That is true. You seem to not have a lot to say so you repeat yourself. I assume this is a need for self validation. If you actually got yourself some reading comprehension and learned a thing or two you might be able to parse the world enough to not have that need and you could be more concise.

[loulicate-recs]

Hello, hello, sweet Hanis! I hope you had a great December 12th/13th/14th… and all the following days. Once again, I’m sorry for the delay but the end of the semester is quickly approaching, and you know how it gets. I never want to rush a quick message when I have so much to say and so much to react to–nothing should get cut off for the sake of conciseness (in my opinion at least).

First of all, I wanted to start this letter with well wishes for your uncle and your family. I hope his stay at the hospital is short and that he gets to go back home to his daughter ASAP. Also sending you so many kisses because it mustn’t be easy taking care of your cousin for the whole day. I hope you got to have fun with her anyways–and that you got to rest, too! I cannot imagine of tired you must be.

I’m not entirely sure I’d do a via ferrata again, given the chance. I think it really depends on the difficulty and “the way it looks”. Like, some climbing routes are relatively easy, and you don’t have to fight for your life every step of the way but the environment it’s been put in (really high up) can make it 100% more scary than a more difficult route. Does that make sense? I’m not really fond of being utterly terrified because of how high it is neither do I like intense physical activities. So I would if neither of these things apply. Yes, you could say I’m pretty lazy and not very daring. And I didn’t know you had climbed before! Even if it was only the fourth floor, I found abseiling really impressive and I find it really difficult to actually sit in thin air. Congrats for challenging yourself like that, you’re a warrior <3

I kind of forgot to ask before, but do you live in the countryside? I know you said you were inspired by the scenery of where you live and that it was quite green but I can’t really tell if it’s the countryside or just a green area of a big and bustling city. I’ve personally only ever lived in cities and though I’m yearning for more time closer to nature, I’m not sure how well I would adapt to not having everything close-by, especially the areas with little to no public transports (I hate driving). Do you drive?

It had me snickering that the first thing you said about my mum is that she must be loved by her students dsjdsqlk I think it’s not really the case. Though she loves her job and pupils dearly, she is very strict and gives a sized workload which doesn’t help her approval rating. I know she’s trying her best and wants the best for her students though–and sadly, that’s not the case of every teacher I’ve ever come across. I also can’t believe you’d put yourself down like that! I think your English is great, and though it’s not a super worthy opinion, it is something. I also would say I’m a bit like you, listening to Louis has helped me improve a lot and now here we are, both of us exchanging letters in English. Around here, people don’t really speak English on a daily basis so I haven’t been exposed to each much either despite my mum being an English teacher. She didn’t want to teach me from birth because my big brother was so against the idea he’d refuse to listen to her whenever she spoke English.

The big-head era has come to an end at least. Even though I feel ashamed for it, I also feel–and this is a completely subjective opinion–like it is normal to go through it, especially as someone like me who has been raised as a girl. Girls are constantly reminded they should be more mature than boys and maybe I believed it so much that I thought they were stupid. I’m only kidding, but you see the gist of what I’m saying. Now that I think about it, it must be so contradictory and paradoxical for little girls to be taught they’re more mature and then only see men in position of powers. Anyways dskjds I’m flattered you’d say I sound mature, so maybe my big head is still pretty inflated.

I keep forgetting that each time I say something, I’m dropping hint about who I am. I’ve taken part in the secret santa project before, and I was a lot better at hiding my identity, I think! That being said, I might have also sprinkled fake infos in there to mislead you. Or did I? djshqdhq sorry for the mystery, but you saying you might have an idea as to who I was has awakened a competitive streak in me–and I’m not a competitive person in the slightest so it really is something!

I’m actually so glad you feel comfortable with me, you have no idea! It makes me so happy. <3

The duality of the roles you played is fascinating!! It’s kind of annoying because I wanted to reveal something about something you mentioned in that field, but it would be the biggest give away so let’s not go down that road. I’m sure you were amazing at all of them though–you wouldn’t have been picked out if you weren’t anyway. And no, they were on Tuesday evenings and I hat a lot of fun there. It was difficult at times, especially as I lost confidence when puberty hit, but I have a very fond memory of it. I was kind of envious (not jealous, though) of a girl in my group who I thought was amazing and I admired her a lot and wanted to be more like her.

I would love for you to tell me your favourite BLFF fics! Though I’ve read them all, it would be a pleasure discussing them with you and see if I agree or not with the point you make. But I’m not very good at association title with the actual fic so I’m really shit at recommending stuff dksqdjlqs I’ve reread a BLFF fic from last year called…hm… A Glass House, maybe? I can’t remember dsqkd it was amazing though! It’s a fic in which Harry gets an injury that leaves a scar on his face and he has to learn to live with it when he is persuaded it repulses Louis and scare his kids. (And yeah, I did write fics, but I won’t expend on that because I haven’t much to say dsjdsq I will say I don’t think you’ve read them, though I can’t be sure!)

Listening to music album by album? I could never! Besides Louis, I have very rarely listened to whole albums at once. You mentioned singing, do you enjoy it? I do, though I’m pretty bad at it. I have also noticed that it’s not as much as a reflex as it used to be to sing. I used to love it when I was a kid, especially during long car ride. Do you enjoy long journeys btw or are they just exhausting to you? Also, have you ever played an instrument? I quite like the variety of artists you mentioned for the most part (some I don’t know so I can’t tell dslkdjklq)! And youre probably going to hate me, but at first, I wasn’t super fond of waoyf dsdkjdlsqj I REALLY LIKE NOW, so there’s not need to kill me. But I’d say my favourites are probably Chicago and Holding on to Heartache (the bridge?! Beyond this world). I listened to it while I was walking through the cold and earlier and I was super into my feelings because of it dsqjdklsq

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmh, so I don’t really know how much it’s gonna help you but I’d say Lou baby is the only one I actively stan. I do like other artists but he’s the only one for me (we’re in an exclusive relationship: I keep him warm in my pocket and he gives me kisses). Btw, I don’t know why but I had labelled you (not in the bad sense of the term, like my brain just did it) as Black Pink stan for some reason!

You also mentioned being a scorpio… Do you believe in astrology

I feel like I haven’t asked you many questions this time around, but just know it’s not because I’ve lost interest or because I’m a self-centred asshole (though I might be at times) I just don’t want to be boring with useless questions dqskjds I usually just ask what I’m really curious about!

Thank you for your lovely answers and for being always so kind to me. Your time and loveliness are very much valued over here! I’m sending you kisses, hugs and half of the pear I’m eating dksqdjdkd Take your time to answer, we’re in no rush and please do take care <3

And sorry for the typos djzjsn

hi ss! thanks to you i survived 11th, 13th and 14th pretty well! and i hope you did too. oh you’re in the end of semester, are you also having your finals atm? not sure how it works for you because usually the ends of semester means finals but as for the third year undergrads we had to go for out first internship. either way sending all my lucky charms to your way so that you’ll be able to get through this semester smoothly! and please make sure to keep your body rested too mwah <3

my uncle is already back home! his operation went pretty well and i’m happy he’s with his daughter again, but that doesn’t mean i don’t miss spending time with her, she’s the sweetest kid ever!

i get it! but it doesn’t mean you’re lazy, not everything is our thing! it seems like physical activities are not our #1 favourite thing to do, so what do you prefer to do during your leisure time other than reading fics? i know i told you i enjoy taking a walk outside but i also enjoy spring cleaning if i prefer to stay indoor during particular free days.

ah no actually quite the contrary, my house is just a 5 minute drive from the main city of my state so it gets pretty busy here all the time. but fortunately my residential area is occupied with the trail where all the greens grow along the sidewalks, nobody ever really used that path except me and probably one or two other people that i’ve had rare encounter with. i understand what you’re saying, believe me i also often watch this kind of videos and think how magical it’d feel to be able to live like this but… i’ll be ded before i can predict my next harvesting! sdfghj ik these youtubers don’t actually live their lives accordingly to what is shown but still. i guess the closest we can get to be profiting off from both lifestyles is by growing our own garden in the backyard of our city house, but like you said, (no offence) we have to depend on fairy!lou to grow a single plant :’) j do drive! it’s an everyday thing actually, do you take the public transport everyday? and do you usually take the cab? bus? or the tube?

your mum definitely sounds like an excellent teacher! honestly a good teacher doesn’t mean that they have to be all ‘nice’ all the time, that just won’t work with ‘teaching’. as long as they really have the determination to help their students, and i’m sorry that not all of your teachers were able to show their genuine dedication :/ i thought english was your first language seeing how good your writing is! what is your mother tongue if i may ask? my whole family and the locals that live around me speak malay on a daily basis so i use english the most when i’m back at the campus.

i second that! i don’t believe that attitude and proficiency fall under the biological differences between the genders now that i’ve grown up but i get what you’re saying, whatnot with me being the girl in the family and having a brother so i can feel the differences in how we are taught about certain stuff. and i really do mean what i said about you sounding mature!

msbdhdgdgd so there are lies laying within our letters? </3 jk it’s a smart thing to do actually because my curiosity can get to the point of making a cat resurrected. don’t mean to trigger your newly found competitive side even more but i actually figured out my previous secret santa halfway into our arrangement, so you better come up with more lies!

omg i’ll be sure to ask you about it when the revelation time comes :o

i’m glad that you made enjoyable memories while you were in the lessons, and if you’re thinking of doing it again someday don’t hesitate to go for it! and believe me often times i still feel that way about everyone i see at the campus, including the ones i never talked to… might’ve also co-written jealousy jealousy with olivia rodrigo. like why do we feel like there will always be someone who is better at anything that we have our eyes on :’)

i promise I WILL give you the links in our next/ next next/ next next letter i just have to make sure i won’t miss any that i really really like! and i love that fic! actually skipped other fics in blff to read that one first because i was sold to bene’s amazing visual art for that fic. and can’t say that i’m sorry for other fics because it was such a t read, would reread to someday definitely. oh i hope i’ve read them, god there’s so many things i wanna redeem from you once i find out who you are!

that habit pretty much started since i’ve seen dialogues in romance films/ fics that would sound like “have you listened to this that album?” and i wonder if that conversation were to happen between me and my potential partner, how should i answer if i had only listened to one song from the album and couldn’t answer their question? very weird behaviour me thinks but i can’t help it? you enjoy singing! have you ever been to karaoke? or do you prefer singing alone in your room? i do enjoy singing too, mostly do it when i drive and when no one’s home. i notice that everyone has certain songs that they can sing to yk? dk how it’s possible but if you feel like your singing is bad, maybe you just haven’t found your songs yet!

oh i definitely haven’t played any, my hands are just not built for that i guess sdfghj. do you? OH THANK GOD. i mean, not everyone has to like— wtv everyone has to like waoyf. i like it even more when he performs it live! the whining, the soft voice. i want him to purr into my ears grr. chicago and hoth, my my your taste is brilliant. oh yes the bridge i the reason i wake up feeling swecydal </3 fun fact i LITERALLY was kicking my feet in the campus’ study room when i first listened to chicago. thank god it was a midnight release and there were only two people there.

oh secret santa you’re just giving me another reason to love you :o or is this another sprinkled lie sdfhj either way i still love you mwah <3 omg how so? i mean i do enjoy their music, and i follow jennie on instagram but don’t think it’s enough to be called a ‘blink’! either way i take it as a compliment <3

i’m not that superstitious about the whole astrology signs thingy sdghdj but it’s fun to get pretty invested in it sometimes! some things just fit so well and only a few that seem disconnected? but there are times where i see the whole personality thing gets jumbled up between the signs so i don’t take it seriously. but you get the fun out of it! what about you?

you COULD NEVER bore me out please, you bring out the smile in me with your words, i hope that we’ll still get to talk even after this thing ends because i genuinely enjoy talking to you so much! though i might be bad at replying on time sdfgh sorry </3

and please i appreciate you sending another ask becaus you forgot the xx :( you’re the sweetest ever! and as per usual i’ll wait patiently whenever you decide to hit the reply, take alllllllllll the time you need to write me back! even if you have nothing else to do, but i’m sure you’re pretty occupied with the semester ending so goodluck! you’ll get through it amazingly!

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking — pt. 1/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN x READER

an au where you and you literature professor realize you both have things to learn about love, and yourselves, outside of class. (as we all know, this can only be done through a big scoop of angst and a smutty cherry on top) playlist

summary: you pretty much end up stealing anakin’s job

warnings: language maybe? mention of what i read in my horrific junior year

a/n: ok ok so some of you might be thinking that obi-wants being a little bitchy but padawan obi in tpm was kind of a stickler and i kind of wanted him to grow into rots obi (bc of y/n) he does have the rots hair tho (rip jedi mullet i still love you)

word count: 1,246 so pretty short for the beginning

Your eyes were following him as he walked back and forth across the front of the small lecture hall. He was talking about troubadour poetry, or was at least supposed to be, but he ended up talking enthusiastically about his philosophies and fascination with medieval literature and their cultural ideals, etc.. His eyes were lit up and his arms making animated gestures in an almost boyish excitement. That’s why most people took this class (besides the small fact that he was one of the more attractive professors). He always clearly and concisely explained the subject in the beginning, probably because he knew he had to get it all in before he fell into his usual habit of sharing his love of literature. Even if you didn’t care about the same things, it was mesmerizing the way he put all of it, and his passion made it so it was never boring. He somehow made it all sound like a story and you were the children gathered around his campfire.

Many other students also secretly enjoyed what happened to be one of your favorite parts of the class: taking note of the way his sleeves always got rolled up when he decided to write on the board or the way he would rub the back of his neck when he was thinking, unintentionally baring his biceps. Sometimes you felt as though you should feel guilty, but you weren’t being demeaning or anything, in fact, you were admiring him.

If he didn’t want you to gaze he shouldn’t have been so handsome.

But no, this time you were staring because he was the one who gave you a 62% on your last essay. You still had a good enough grade to pass, but if you wanted to transfer to your dream school, you would have to look pretty damn good on paper. It was an art school, but a very prestigious one that wanted to see if you were going to work hard, even in your non-art-related classes. You had messed up a bit with your grades freshman year of college (missing out on many classes simply because you could), but that could be compensated for if you could show growth in the following years. That was going to take a lot of A’s if you were going to make up for your slacking off. You had worked hard on your essay, putting in the same effort that you had put into the ones that got handed back to you with 90% written on the top, and it’s not like he was the easiest grader you’ve had.

The lecture had ended, and the room echoed with heavy footsteps of students heading out, along with the comments that had been held in for the last hour. You instead stayed seated, running the dialogue you had prepared for starting a conversation with Professor Kenobi in your head one more time.

You rose from your seat, whispering “fuck it,” and headed down the stairs towards the lowest floor of the classroom.

“Professor?” you said in your most polite yet assertive voice.

“y/n is it? Is there anything I can do for you?” he responded, lifting his eyes to see you as he leaned over his desk to shuffle some papers.

“It is actually. But I was wondering if we could discuss my last essay,” You cleared your throat, trying not to show that his blue eyes of all things were making you nervous, “specifically my grade on it actually,” you added.

“Ah I see,” He folded his hands as he put down the now neat stack of papers and sat back down in his chair.

“You gave me a 62% and I’ve always gotten good grades in this class but I didn’t do anything different. I wouldn’t turn in anything that I didn’t feel was at least well written,”

“It was well written, but that’s not the point”

“I’m sorry professor, but how is that not the point?” you said, brows furrowing

“The way you write is beautiful but it’s what you’re writing about. You completely missed the prompt” He didn’t say it harshly, but rather as though it was a casual fact that he figured you already knew.

“How do the relationships in troubadour poems reflect personal and real-world relationships?” You repeated the prompt for clarity.

“Yes. You gave me a description of a dynamic based on false idealism, but there was nothing personal, nothing real to you. I could have read an article on the facts of those dynamics if I really wanted to, but this isn’t psychology class,”

“So it should have been personal?”

It may not be psychology class but it is an essay, not a diary.

He could see the confusion on your face was still present so he elaborated, “It should have meaning. I want this class to push you into reflection. We can’t just read other people's experiences without applying them to our own. What would be the point? I asked for something personal. You don’t have to address anything wildly uncomfortable, but I graded them based on if you could tell someone actually tried to discover something by the end of the essay,” you could admire his intentions, but it was just an essay to you.

“So I got this grade because I didn't do some soul searching,” you deadpanned, no longer confused, but more irked.

His brows raised at your forwardness. He didn’t seem offended, but rather surprised.

“If you truly are unhappy with your grade, I’ll allow you to redo the essay,”

Well, you could redo it and fluff it all up now that you knew what he wanted. At the end of the day, you would do whatever just to take anything higher.

“Thank you I—“

“But I can only raise it 10% because it is after the fact,”

“Professor really?” you said exasperated. You actually stood up straight after that comment, hoping you didn’t sound disrespectful or rude. Thankfully, his reaction, or lack thereof, was exactly what you were hoping for.

“Well, let’s see… there’s a lot of filing and other tasks that I need done, they’re all menial i’m afraid, but I’d be willing to give you extra credit for it,”

Your face turned into a more pleasant expression, and then a confused one once more.

“Don’t you have a TA for that?”

“Anakin? Oh yes, well he’s…he likes to do everything at his own leisure” he sighed but didn’t seem too down about it, more like he was used to it.

“So, may I ask, why’s he your TA?”

“It was a favor to a friend, Professor Qui Gonn Jinn. Please don’t mention it but Anakin's actually his godson. Although I’m British, I’m not a huge supporter of nepotism,- don’t worry,” he smiled. “It’s really because he believes he has a lot of potential, and I agree— but practically he’s not very helpful” you laughed a little at his comment and he had a slightly amused face as well.

There was a slight pause before you said, “I’d like to take you up on your offer,” nodding firmly.

“I’ll see you in my office after every class starting tomorrow? Does that work with your classes?”

“Yes,” you said after taking a moment to think about your schedule.

“Wonderful. I look forward to it,” he smiled, getting up and slinging his work bag over his shoulder.

Spending that much time with a professor? If I go bored out of my mind…

PART 2

[dreamtillmorning]

Preliminary Trouble

Lucifer x Endless!reader

Gender neutral reader, they/them

Warnings: I cannot find much and would love to be informed, but the following I reckon: At the end, the script has about 2 suggestive comments, and possible dubcon. The passages leading to it are physically intimate.

A/N: Just wrote my first x reader piece, starting short and concise! This is a little inconventional in that below you’ll find a something close to an ASMR script, which is the medium this is based on. I started it that way, didn’t anticipate to publish it until now. Recommended to read in Lucifer’s voice as played by Gwendoline Christie; best reference at the time of writing is the short Sandman clip of A Hope in Hell.

Paragraphs = pauses, likely when reader interjects until toward the end

Background: Canon divergent. Reader is an eighth sibling of the Endless (not canon). They arrive to Hell before Dream did to claim the helm in advance. That being said, plot is not largely taken in consideration.

🔈Hello again. It has been a while since we have last seen each other … or your other siblings, for that matter. How have you been?

That’s great. we cannot bear to fall behind on updates of your and their wellbeings, and yes, Dream is not well … as we’ve reckoned. Word has it a helm of his has landed in our realm, one that is essential for his livelihood obviously … one which you are looking for, of course, for your brother’s sake, how lovely. [Sigh], if only we know which of our subjects have it in their possessions. If only it were that easy. Our sights can reach so far, you see, but if you know any names, any demons, you can say it right here, and then they can be right in front of us.

You don’t? How unfortunate.

Goodbye already? What a shame. It won’t change your fruitless effort here. How unfortunate it shall come to a waste then, doesn’t it? Is this where you are going to stop and call it an end?

We’re not desperate, but we’re afraid such isn’t the case for you. We’re not worried, but you should be yourself. After all, you don’t even know where the helmet is, or the name of anyone who has it. You can’t even hunt them down. How are you going to help your brother like this? How are you going to implore for our help? No tools, no leads, all powerless and hopeless. A poor little bird who lost their way in hell.

You like that, don’t you?

Of course you do, little bird … It’s clear as day to see. Your cheeks are pinker than when you first came here, your heartbeat a little faster … There’s no need to fear, really. You think your own words and your body betrays you, but if anything they bring out none closer to who you really are.

Yes, it’s not what you embody. But is it not how you feel? Heat rising to your cheeks and coiling its way around your heart as you lose your way around words, blabbering and quivering like a little mouse. You can deny it all you want; it was what they all do anyway till the last possible moment, regardless if they know it was all in vain.

Of course you don’t have to suffer as they did. You’re not damned as those souls are. You’re Dream’s little sibling, are you not? Also you have not done anything here yet, have you? No accomplishments, no nothing. Don’t worry little one, let us take care of you. We wouldn’t dare to harm such a lovely soul. Shh… Don’t be shy; let us have a good look at your face. What soft skin you have. What pretty visage you have, especially those eyes you have … How they shine so brightly and our subjects much love to eat them up! We can think of various other things to do with them… no, not physically, not punishments, but other, different, ways.

What do we mean by that? The ways to contort your expressions in ectasy, to let those eyes of yours gloss over in pleasure, to open your little lips and - just like that - taste the finger which feeds them. It’s not much right now, unless you come for more. Ask for more. I can see you want more, but that is not enough:

You need to say it.

You fret so much, little bird. Why dare we maim a sibling of Dream’s?

If you’re so concerned, you are free to come and find out. Or go back to the wild lands; there are demons who hunger for your flesh, let alone any chance of getting back your dear brother’s helmet. The choice is yours.

Wise choice. Good bird.

You may stay, but did we say you can stand here? Remember who is the guest here. Come.

Good bird.

You like it, don’t you?

Don’t you want to be told you’re so good? Don’t you want to prove it, lovely one? Don’t you want to do more … to earn it?

Let us teach you more then. Come with us, come to bed, where there is much more to offer — and you can taste more than a finger in your mouth.

[bushdivingbushranger]

What was going to an all girls school like, if you don't mind me asking? :)

OK anon im so sorry this is so long and so convuluted I actually got so carried away jdbKJBGKSDBGH. i'm not even sure i properly answered your question i just got overwhelmed with Love for my same-sex schooling DHGKJSDFBHG anyway, if there's anything more you want to know lmk and I will try to be concise next time 💀

Essentially, my own experience at a single-sex secondary school was fantastic—however, I know my experience isn’t universal, especially since my school was a little bit different to most, I think.

That being said, I still think that sending your daughters to female-only secondary schools is something every parent should strive to do if they can. No other learning environment will ever be as good for girls as a same-sex school.

In terms of school staff, mine was about 95% female, and 5% male. The few male teachers we had were genuinely competent men and decent teachers, they were also watched like hawks. Our principal was female, all leadership positions in the school (such as House Leaders, Year Level Co-Ordinators, Department Heads, even the chaplain) were held by women. Our school psychologists, our nurses, our library technicians, our café ladies, our career advisors, our tutors—all were women. Our school houses (think like Harry Potter houses) were named after important women in our country’s history.

I went to a co-ed primary school. And whilst at twelve you might not have the words to describe it, graduating from a co-ed space, into an all-female space is really a giant weight off of your shoulders. You don’t realise how suffocating co-education is until you’re no longer having to bear it. It feels so much more natural, so much more free! You are welcomed as you are. You can be loud and unashamed of it. We joked frequently with each other and our teachers, laughed loudly and cared not whether our laughs were ‘ugly’. I found that teachers were far more supportive than they were in my co-ed school. For example, in a co-ed school I had been told frequently to ‘pipe down’ or to ‘reel it in’ from teachers, and more vexingly to ‘shut up’ from boys due to my boisterous personality. In high school? My teachers encouraged me to audition for the play because I had ‘great projection’. In every school programme (more on those later) that I was involved in, I was the one asked to give speeches about them at assembly. I was asked to be the lead of our house chants during our sports festivals. I was asked to join the debate team because of my passionate nature, which in primary school, had me known as ‘difficult’.

Likewise, I had a friend who was by nature quiet, and loved to draw. In primary school she’d doodled on the back of a work booklet, and when her teacher returned it, she’d taken off two points and had written a comment saying something about teachers in high school not accepting work that was drawn on.

Do you know what happened when she got to high school? Our English teacher had seen the eye she’d drawn on the back of our Romeo and Juliet test and had written, ‘beautiful!’ above it. The next test, she drew a two-headed cat with witches’ hats on both heads (I remember the left head was called Turpentine and the right head was called Esmeralda). Our teacher wrote, ‘wonderful!’ above it, with a smiley face.

The next day she got an email from our art teacher that had a PDF flyer of information on both in-school and local art competitions.

Anyway, she had questions and that teacher answered every single one of them. She also personally helped her select the works she wanted to submit. She ended up having two pieces shown in the school gallery, along forty pieces made by other girls. About five years later for our final year, on that art teacher’s recommendation (and tutelage!) she took all of the visual art subjects on offer. When she graduated, her final piece was shown at a public exhibition in our state’s capital city, that honoured the best pieces done by select graduating students in the state.

So yeah. Our teachers were pretty amazing. Of course, there was the odd teacher or two you would butt heads with but that’s just a universal school experience. Our humanities classes, like history, for example, often had a unit that would focus on the female experience of a certain time period. For example, when learning about WW2, we did projects on female resistance fighters et cetera.

We had health classes that were actually focused on female health. We learnt about female anatomy (even the clitoris! Though we were all about thirteen/fourteen at this time so we found it incredibly awkward to talk about), as well as symptoms of PCOS during our menstrual unit. We learnt about contraceptive methods and devices (however, as a Catholic school they did have to tell us that whilst these methods are available, the church-sanctioned method is of course, abstinence).

Whilst the majority of the girls shaved their legs and wore makeup, as someone who did neither of those things I rarely felt judgement about it (albeit, I think there was a little for my lack of makeup, but this only lasted the first two years). A good portion of our staff also did not wear makeup, I don’t recall this ever being commented on. And, by the time we’d reached about our third year, a good portion of my year level and the ones above did not wear makeup on a daily basis. Leg hair was not looked down upon by any of us I don’t think by this year either. In fact, if you were particularly hairy often your hairless friends asked to rub your legs!

We were never short of female role-models, our staff made sure of that. We had multiple days per year when guest speakers would come and talk to us, mostly these were women who were experts in their fields—whether that be neuroscience or computer science, linguistics and literature or mathematics, politics, et cetera. The only times we really had male guest speakers was when police officers (one male one female) came to give us an assembly about sexual peer-pressure and laws around sharing nudes that was basically, “these are common (male) manipulation tactics used to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, don’t fall for them”.

We were encouraged to take STEM subjects, and those of us that had taken interest in computer programming were sent to coding programmes in the city during school hours! That’s how keen our teachers were to get more women into the field! This was the same with the girls interested in politics, who got to go to Model UN events, as well as mock parliaments in the country’s capitol.

We had a lot of programmes generally. A few overseas ones for girls who were in LOTE (languages other than English) classes. A few interstate ones, too. And of course, local programmes and excursions. Most of them (aside from the LOTE ones which focused on immersion) were volunteer programmes aimed at helping women and girls. The rest were about furthering our own skills or learning new ones. Majority of these were year-level based, but a few depended on the clubs/groups/classes you were in. For example, I was part of the Writer’s Club, and we took an excursion to the state Writer’s Festival and listened to female writers as well as feminist panels. We also had self-defence programmes every year.

In terms of peers I generally found everyone to be quite amiable by the time we’d reached our third/fourth year. There’s a common myth about all girls schools being filled with ‘catty’ girls who are constantly bitching about one another, but I really did not find that to ring true. There were a few fights and arguments in the earlier years, I was part of quite a lot lol but that’s honestly… just something that happens at school, at any school. Largely, we were good to each other. If someone was crying there was always someone who’d ask her what was wrong. If you missed the notes on the slide, there was always a girl willing to share her notes with you.

I think going to an all-girl’s school, and not having that much interaction with the opposite sex generally for that six-year period truly does something, I think, to your psyche. We are socialised to look down on our fellow woman, socialised to look down upon ourselves. But actually being constantly surrounded by women, and almost ONLY women, really helps to undo that. Even now I could not describe the fierce love I have for all those women and girls I came in contact with during my time there—even the ones I bickered with. Each and every single woman I met there enriched my life in some way or another. I think that is the effect of consistently spending time in any female-only space: developing a true appreciation for women. It is the only reasonable conclusion to come to.

I have been out of high school for two years, and in university for one. Among the many men I have met since, none of them have even been able to hold a candle to the any women and girls I know.

Anyway. TLDR: it slapped, send your daughters to same-sex schools!!

[scrawnytreedemon]

Victor Frankenstein and Frustration: a Not-Essay, because I can’t structure for shit.

Alright, I’ll try to keep it as clean and concise as I can, but at the end of the day this is a sorta-heat-in-the-moment thing I’m writing while all the ideas and motivation are in me yet. I will be jumping around alot of topics, as this covers alot of ground, but I can’t say I’ll do it with grace: for this, I apologise.

I’ve noticed a trend in online lit fandom, not just on Tumblr, to condense Victor’s character to something roughly following “arrogant, ineffectual and selfish weenie who failed horribly at parenting, who ought not to be taken seriously in any significant way, largely in-due to his constant whining“ --In other words, a right twat.

And here’s the thing: largely, I agree.

However, what I take issue with, I suppose, is largely how this is all framed.

See, fandom has a tendency to sort characters into boxes, and then pick favourites or bête noires from that selection; this is helpful for the largely memetic(as in, shareable,) nature of online spaces; but where I think this thinking falls short is that it tends to divide casts into More Good or More Evil, with little room for nuance.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Victor Frankenstein, by all accounts, is an incredibly frustrating character to witness; he gets way in over his head, isolates himself from his loved ones, leaving them worried, deems those ambitions failed, hides from them, then when shit starts hitting the fan, he takes initial actions to try and mitigate the consequence, hits a roadblock, either stops their or chooses an even worse option, someone else gets hurt, he whines, rinse and repeat until the final act of the book, as the stakes get higher and higher and his mental state deteriorates more, and more, and more. If you look at this entirely from an outsiders’ perspective, as you, the audience, being subjected to his moaning time and time again, it can wear on you and your sympathies-- Needless to say, I Get It™.

I think, however, it needs be remarked that Victor is also just some guy. 

What I feel is often missed, is that even before Victor goes to university, he has just suffered the loss of his mother, with little time to recover, and that all of this is being told in hindsight, on his deathbed.

When Victor took on, all by himself, at twenty-two years old, not even letting anyone else know what he was up to, the monumental task of creating life, and then finding that life horribly botched, he did not have the perspective that what he created was equivalent to a newborn child-- For all he knew, he might have animated an actual demon. It isn’t until two years later, after the death of his little brother at the hands of said demon, the he’s even remotely made aware of this.

Victor had worn himself out over the course of several months, physically and mentally, to this one task. He was not equipped to deal witht he consequences. I do not say this to downplay the weight of his actions, or the horrible mess of events that come afterwards, but to state perspective. Victor does not have the hindsight we have at the time of this act. I cannot stress this enough. As much as I enjoy Deadbeat Dad Vick jokes, I get the feeling many people actually view the story from this lens, and hold Victor up to that standard.

Then there’s the trial of Justine: a horrible, useless, unneeded and avoidable affair that ends in even more senseless death. This is where alot of people’s sympathy for Victor runs out-- For more than understandable reasons. He failed to act accordingly, to share the information he had, deeming it to be either dismissed instantly or for himself to be put under scrutiny; it’s clear he’s passionate about Justine’s innocence, but he cannot push himself past his fear and doubt, and ultimately, it ends in her death.

It is a horrible, horrible moment, and one that cements the tone of the story from there on out.

These are two key events that largely colour this image of Victor so prevelant online; and it certainly doesn’t help, what with fandom being almost aggressively left-leaning at times, that Victor comes from a place of privilege; he is almost tailor-made to push all the buttons of fandom sensitivities.

Let me elaborate.

A key feature of Victor’s character is his complete and utter inability to ask for help; no matter how dire the situation. Victor feels, that, despite and even because of his incompetence, that it is his cross and his cross alone to bear. Any inolvement from others, such as Clerval when he heads to England, is hesitant and highly discouraged, even when he wants nothing more than to partake in the company of his loved ones, after all he’s been through. While it is also heavily coloured by the anguished sentiment that borders on self-absorption so much of the time, I think it is also worthy to examine this too.

Victor’s tendency to indulge in self-pity and self-loathing is nigh, if not entirely, all-consuming; it pervades the narrative to a painful degree, particularly as it comes from his recollections; it is often exhausting to read through, and nigh unbearable if you already hold a disdane from his previous actions; but here’s the thing I think most people miss,

Victor is depressed.

I don’t mean “ooh, he’s so sad, leave him alone 🥺,“ I mean the guy is fucking depressed, stuck in a constant cycle of attempting to make do but failing, hating himself even more, letting it consume him because he at once feels like he deserves to be consumed and it’s the only thing he can do then and there to soothe to pain as shit gets worse and worse.

Victor Frankenstein’s internal monolgue is a prime example of deep-seated, far-gone depression, and I say this because I myself have experienced and do experience this. Depression is fucking soul-sucking, man; it turns you in on yourself, makes you feel entirely undeserving of love and compassion, leaves you feeling like you must, have to, deal with this entirely by yourself because it is your cross to bear.

Depression is so often self-flagellating and pointless, leaving the subject drained and often largely unable to experience the world outside their own miserable little bubble.

Victor is so wrapped up in this soul-sucking guilt, attempting to fight his own ineffectuality and in doing so only furthering his own ineffectuality, refusing to ask for help, that he ends up putting the ones he’s trying to protect in further danger as he tries to scramble a hodge-podge solution to the problem he created and couldn’t have even begun to forsee its consequences at twenty-two years old. It is a painful, painful example of how if only he reached out, if only he told someone, was honest, all of this could have been avoided, or at least mitigated.

And I think that’s the thing with Victor.

He’s a kind of banal evil-- If such continuous stumbling can even be considered so --He is an example of every day self-isolation and refusal to let anyone else in ballooning to such a degree it ends in distaster.

People are far, far more willing to forgive Adam for his transgressions-- And I say this as someone far more sympathetic to his plight, what with the absolute abandonment he faced at the hands of humanity --Despite their far more horrific consequences; in many ways, they’re attributed to Victor’s failing; which isn’t entirely untrue,

But I have to wonder, if alot of this also comes down to the fact that Victor’s wrongdoings are so human; leaving someone in your care behind; not speaking up in cases of injustice; being self-involved; again, the constant whining. In a way, it’s the sentiment that in stories a horrible person is often far more bearable than an annoying one.

That doesn’t even begin to touch on how much of the bemoaning might largely be and often is directly post-hoc regret colouring all his previous actions. This, above all else, is a cautionary tale to a fellow idealist in the hopes that Robert Walton doesn’t Fuck Up the way he did. Victor stresses his regret and his failings and his misery time and time again because he wants to protect Robert from a similar fate; a fate that ultimately ends in his death.

Victor Frankenstein is a study in frustration; in audience frustration, self-frustration, narrative frustration; it seeps into every corner of the story.

I am not trying to defend Victor Frankenstein as a person; he is flawed; and he’s meant to be flawed. Victor, at the end of the day, is a deconstruction of the Byronic hero-- Of Great and Powerful Men on the Fronteers of History™-- And most importantly, I think, a deconstruction he himself undergoes. Victor eventually alerts someone, a Genevan magistrate, is doubted just as he feared, and then runs off to take revenge into his own hands.

It takes the death of Elizabeth Lavenza to do so.

Victor is a flawed, miserable man, but not an evil one. That doesn’t mean he deserved to have his life crumble around him.

He could have done better. Should have done better.

And he knows this.

His entire arc is about how he knows this.

Victor dies knowing this.

Him being unlikable doesn’t make him a bad character. Him being unlikable is part of the character; and in a meaningful way.

God, I don’t know how to end this. I’ll probably come back and edit this many, many times.

I guess I’m just tired of people flattening characters just because they’re not particularly endearing.