#i think more can be said on this subject but i think concise and short is better because less is usually more

[eternal-echoes]

Thoughts on how misogynistic catholicism is?

I'm not going to deny that there are definitely guys within the Catholic Church that hide their misogyny in the guise of "traditionalism." It's the result of the Fall and Original Sin; pride made them that way.

But the teachings of the Catholic Church, especially in banning pornography, elevates the status of women compare to the secular world. She's not just an object to be used for pleasure; she deserves to be respected because she's made in the image and likeness of God.

Men who calls them Catholic but fail to uphold this teaching by watching porn in close doors are not authentic Catholic.

The Catholic Church lists a bunch of female saints that the faithful can ask intercessory prayers from to help them live holy lives:

St. Joan of Arc

St. Catherine of Siena

St. Catherine of Alexandria

St. Therese de Lisieux

St. Teresa of Avila

St. Mary of Magdalene

That's all the saints that I can think of on the top of my head.

Also, we Catholics venerate the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary as the mother of God. We don't dismiss her role in salvation history by giving birth to Jesus Christ the Redeemer like other Christian sects do.

So no, the Catholic Church is not misogynistic.

If you have more specific questions, anon, feel free to ask.

[n0tamused]

I have a request!!

Currently watching suits (highly recommend). How about a Lawyer! reader x Dr. Ratio, Sunday, and Aventurine?

₊˚⊹♡ "My partner is a lawyer!"

A/n: This request has been marinating in my inbox for way too long, but regardless, I do hope that whoever reads this enjoys it!<3 I love this request, so please feel free to request more characters for the same prompt! I missed writing Ratio chat </3 Admittedly, I did not watch Suits (shame on me ikik shut up), and so idk really how they talk on the show, so whatever I mentioned here is a dramatized version from my own knowledge in law.

Contents: Dr. Ratio/Aventurine/Sunday(separate) x GN!Lawyer!Reader, fluff

Ko-Fi |  Masterlist

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Veritas Ratio

-As a man of knowledge himself, Veritas certainly holds great appreciation for those that are keen on learning and executing the knowledge they hold, and he is most appreciative of justice - which as a natural course involves admiration for you as well

-He has heard of your achievements far long before he met you. A few times he read the articles you wrote for the local news agencies, but he held most interest for the online educational videos you put out. They were short, concise and aimed to help the people that were not in the financial situation that would allow them to seek out their own lawyer

-So when he did meet you he was full of chitter and chatter for you, all contained in a well crafted box of mannerisms and polite words. But anyone from the outside would notice that he seemed much more tolerable with you than with others

-Many months down the line and with his hand in yours, he wonders how it all came to be - him? Romantically involved with you? 

-If you have a haunch over a certain theory or a certain topic, Veritas is there with you to explore it further and give his own input on the topic. Doesn’t matter if it is a subject that’s not the most familiar to him - he is a sponge for knowledge and knows how to research efficiently.

-He respects your privacy which you uphold with your clients -that is only to be suspected of you to do, otherwise if you told him of the “tea” from your clients, he would have begun to raise an eyebrow and question your work ethics

“Dear,” he began with a huff as he came to stand in your doorway, one hand holding up papers which were clearly not his. “I found the documents you were looking for. Be more careful next time with where you put them” he said as he walked inside your shared bedroom, his slippers making the distinct noise across the floor of shliiippp-shloop. “Where were they?” you question, confusion marking your entire face as you reached out to take the documents scribbled with your handwriting. “I found them on my pile” was all he said as he crawled onto his side of the bed... .... “Veritas..” “Hmm,. yes?” “Is this your handwriting?” The answer was clear as day as you noted the long paragraphs underneath the  big block of text you wrote about a legal theory you wished to dive deeper in. You had stared at them in your sleepy daze, for a moment thinking it was your writing which you, somehow, forgot about. But no, your eyes did not deceive you. Dr. Ratio clearly spent a lot of time on this document. Did he intentionally take it from your pile? One had to wonder. His greed for knowledge sickened you.. He huffs beside you in feigned denial and you chuckle at him.

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Aventurine

-When Aventurine was served the fact you work in the legal field he gave off a crisp whistle, his first thoughts being “that must be a lot of words”, accompanied by a lighthearted jest that he now has someone who he can rely on should he get in trouble. At that you have to jokingly reprimand him and tell him to not get into any unnecessary trouble

-He might start to tease a little, throwing out little remarks that frame that stereotypical view people have on lawyers, or anyone working in the legal field for that matter

“I have cash on me right now that I’d be more than happy to pass on into your capable hands, should you agree to…pull me out of this sticky situation” he says with a wink as he waltzes into your office, his eyes taking in the shelves stacked with books old and new, as well as the statue of a blindfolded woman holding up the scales. His gloved fingertips touch one of the scales, making it tip down. His answer is a long and tired sigh.

-But one day he surprised you with a box of sweets after a particularly harrowing case, his tone unusually mellow and inviting as he invited you to join him for a walk. 

-Aventurine is not the man you go for if you want to have a chat about one legal theory or the other, but if you find yourself in a pinch and could use getting a word with someone out of your reach - Aventurine can make a few calls to help you out

“How do you even have the patience for all this?” he asks incredulously, his pointer finger touching one of the thick files resting on top of your desk. “Don’t tell me you actually read all of this” his figure seemed to deflate, shoulders sagging, face falling, trailing around the table to come up next to you. “I did..” you replied, focusing far too much on the papers before you. “You’re way too boring” he countered, followed by a quick kiss to your cheek.

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Sunday

-Before the Dream shattered, Sunday didn’t think too highly of anyone who wished to uphold justice within Penacony, deeming there was simply no need for it while he was working to set the perfect order. There is no crime, no faulty businesses or people to sue in his world, and there is no place for them either. So why should lawyers and judges exist?

-Of course, this view was nothing but another way he deceived himself into believing that the path he was following was right, just even. This view changed drastically after the shackles on his body were lifted.

-Sunday considers the job rather prestigious. If there were no people like you, or people with the same wish to bring justice and security to your society as you do, the world would be a much darker place

-He is silent in his curiosities and admiration, never directly asking you inquiries, partly due to some guilt still eating away at him from his past

-But he does not shy away entirely if you approach him first

-He knows more about the ways an old monarchy would work, but he welcomes your insight on the society you live in now and strives to build and enhance by giving yourself to this role. A part of him also worries when he sees you haunched over your table instead of resting in your quarters. Not once did you wake up with a blanket drawn up over you or a refreshing drink sat in front of you

-Sunday doesn’t quite believe it once your relationship develops into one of romance. It was most unexpected and it leaves him with more questions than answers. But now, he finally feels at ease to fire them at you

“But why?” One of his wings sags lower than the other, as if burdened by the piercings they hold. “Would that not be counterproductive or unjust, rather?” He is looking down in thought, his brows drawn closer together, although his voice carries no frustration or denial to the wisdom you were sharing. “The ones who set this law down have inspected the longest duration a pregnancy can last, even taking into account any abnormalities that can happen during the same. If the duration for this lawsuit was unlimited, it would risk the position of the man that was suspected to be the father”. A moment passes in silence, but then he nods, his wings raised back up with newfound strength and another question already filtering in through those soft grey feathers

-Conversations with him are mellow, although Sunday spends more time listening than talking himself. He lets you rave on about anything that may be making you happy or frustrated at the moment, and he is at his happiest when you return to him with another successful case under your belt.

-After a little while you may also notice Sunday becoming even more aware of his actions - suddenly he is nitpicking his wording or the actions he takes - what if someone decides to sue him for this small thing? You have to reassure him a few times that the law is not that strict, giggling while you’re at him when you see his almost fearful and alert face, wings puffy and in a cramp

Ⓒ n0tamused/jarttavia_. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[helslastangel]

Blaming my personality on my parents' personal planets

A TRULY random "observation," if you will.

(Not to be taken seriously. If you must be serious, slither off my post before you trip and fall into a sense of humor 🙃)

As a Virgo sun, I (allegedly) aspire to be methodical, organized, and focused.

However, in practice, I am none of those things. People usually think otherwise. Why?

Well.

I'm good at making an art out of imitating life - my parents' normal lives to be exact. Lol.

My default setting is to dance around topics or agree with opposing sides of any conversation until no one knows what I am actually saying or if I am even trying to say anything at all. Libra mercury tings.

Unless, of course, I'm emotionally charged. In which case, may God have mercy on your soul because my dear Cancer Mars won't.

That being said...

My parents' planetary influence on my day to day communication is in the same house that my sun sits in, and that's...well, revealing.

I like to think our guardians help to shape our alternate selves, if nothing else.

Mom

Sun conjunct my Mercury

Sun square my Mars & Ascendant

Mars in my 3H, conjunct my Sun, trine Moon & Lilith

Saturn conjunct my Lilith, trine my Sun & Moon

Lilith in my 3H & opposite my Saturn

My ISFJ mother is one of the most organized and methodical people I know. She actually uses a planner (multiple planners, actually) from January straight to December. You can ask her for a detail from 20 years ago, and she'll go off into another room and come back blowing the dust off some old notebook. Somehow, she's got the answer in there, timestamped and dated.

Meanwhile, my ADHD-riddled ENTP ass could open a refurbished stationary shop with all the unused notebooks and planners I've collected over the years. However, having been infused for 9 months inside and 18 years beside the world's most organized woman, I CAN and often do what my mother does, though only for short periods of time. Long enough to be a means to my own ends, but too short to truly shape my character in any lasting way: e.g., making a good impression in an interview, getting through probation at a new job, attempting to fool professors, and so on.

I-

Dad

Mercury in my 3H & opposite my Saturn

Mars in my 8H, trine my Mercury, & square my Lilith

Saturn in my 12H & square my Saturn

My ENTJ dad is like an anthropomorphic university textbook. Everything he says is laid out in a coherent, well-ordered line. No shortage of words, but all of them are somehow necessary and useful. He can not only think of things to say on the spot in any situation, but he easily makes it sound like he gave it a thousand years of thought before speaking. Always gets to the point (or circles back to it quite quickly).

Mhm, here too, I can imitate my dad's ability to make perfect logical sense. By feigning concise, effective speech for just as long as necessary to swing things in my favor, I also scratch that Virgo sun itch to fit an ideal.

But, really, the only part I embody effortlessly is never being short on words. Everything else is subject to terms and conditions. Me? Get to the point? Naturally? Nyet.

I try to self-edit in real time whenever on the phone or face-to-face with someone who might question my sanity should I default to my Libra mercury + Cancer mars special combo. The one that tries to be amicable and inclusive while tiptoeing over everyone's toes, only to hesitate and end up tripping and falling and landing on all of them.

90% of anything I write has to be picked apart like a roach at a hen party and barely resemble whatever I originally wrote before seeing the light of day. Otherwise, it will read the way I talk - in concentric circles. 🙃 🔁

oop.

Lost my train of thought and found something more interesting to do.

To be continued.

Maybe.

↤ go back to the masterlist

[beauty-and-passion]

CCCC Vol.1 - Calamity: introducing the chaos

Hello, everyone.

I made my offer, you accepted. And so, here I am, to talk about Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium, Vol. 1.

It will be quite a long ride, so let’s not waste more time and let’s start with…

_______________________________

Obligatory premise

I am not an expert on Chonny Jash, Tally Hall's albums, or any other song besides CCCC. All I know about Chonny is this album, the Q&A cj-anon told me about (thank you, bro! You can read it HERE) and that Mr. Jash has some fine curly hair - and, as a possessor of curly hair myself, I find him very stylish.

So my analysis won't be filtered through the lenses of a fan who knows everything about him. This is the perspective of someone outside the CCCC fandom, who focuses mostly on the album, the songs and all the small details an "outsider" like me might find interesting.

That means two things:

I might say things that are already well-known in the fandom. In that case, sorry for the repetition, I hoped to say something new. But also, hey, that means the album's message was so clear, even an outsider could get it.

I might say things that are wrong/have been denied by Chonny Jash himself. It's unlikely, considering that the man welcomed every interpretation and said it's up to us to decide/read the story as we want, but still, it might happen. In that case, please let me know through messages or reblogs, so I can add the correct information and make my analysis more complete.

One last thing, for all the people who have never heard of this album: the themes are mostly centered around tragedy, mental dissonance and suicide, so they’re not the funniest topics to talk about. Still, If they do not trigger you, try and give this album a chance: it'll be worth your time. I even wrote a whole post to explain why.

_______________________________

My sources

The whole album on YouTube (also, subscribe to Chonny Jash's channel and stream CCCC too, because it deserves it)

This blog that gives a wonderful insight into the songs

The great people on Genius.com always pay a lot of attention to every word of the songs

And here's the Q&A once again, because it always comes in handy

_______________________________

Why a “Charming Chaos Compendium”?

I know Chonny wanted to mimic the "Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum" album title, so instead of MMMM, we have CCCC. But also, why "Charming Chaos' Compendium" specifically? Why not "Confused Catastrophic Compilation" or something else?

Maybe it’s just because “Charming Chaos Compendium” sounds better. But if we consider the whole album, I think these words are simply the best-fitting ones to talk about.

* Chaos: That’s a chaotic album indeed: we have dark thoughts, fears, references to death. Heck, the longest, central section is called “Cacophony”, which shows even better the concept of chaos.

* Charming: Chonny said in the Q&A:

"I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the idea of duality and mental dissonance, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a social/moral perspective. The idea that the same brain can produce completely separate and juxtaposed conclusions from a single input is strange, and something I’ve noticed fairly frequently throughout my currently short life. CCCC is a manifestation of those dissonances from an extremely personal and biased perspective, in song form."

These concepts might be dark, but there’s also a charming component of them - if we consider the adjective “charming” with the meaning of “fascinating”. The “duality” of our brain is one of the mysteries of humankind’s nature that we still can’t fully grasp - a lot of people play with it, like Chonny does here. It’s fascinating to see how he does it and what his interpretation is.

* Compendium: a compendium is a "collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject" and what's more concise and detailed than a two/three minute song that should explain the situation, show the characters and explore their feelings?

Also, it’s a word of Latin origin - and not the last one, considering Chonny will use three more words with Latin origin to title the three acts of his album (Calamity, Cacophony, Concord).

_______________________________

Time Machine Reprise: start of a new loop

What a peculiar choice for an opening song. What kind of album starts with a reprise?

Well, maybe one that is a time loop. And Chonny made it clear two things about it:

he’s stuck inside it because of the constant clash between Heart and Mind

maybe he will get out of said loop by "writing different songs"

Keep both of them in your mind, when we will reach the last songs of Concord.

Also, do not forget why this is the Calamity act: as the name suggests, a calamity is a “disastrous event that leads to tragic, dramatic consequences” - in this case, the split of Chonny’s mind into three parts.

But what is this event? What happened that was so “disastrous” to lead to such a drastic split? And how are the two things connected?

_______________________________

Dream: Soul's introduction

It’s very telling that the first character who appears right after Chonny’s introduction is Soul. And it’s even more interesting, if we remember what Chonny said about Soul in the Q&A:

"The Soul is slightly separated — fittingly — in that I didn’t know exactly what to call the character when I was first bringing them to fruition. ‘Body’ was the original name if I remember correctly, but it felt kind of wrong, as I wanted the character to be a little less concrete/tangible. The third character was always meant to be a sort of husk/shell/veneer, and so it took me a while to settle on ‘Soul’."

So, Soul:

is slightly different/separated from Heart and Mind

was supposed to be the Body

is a sort of husk/shell/veneer

And if we also consider that:

Soul’s introduction comes right after Chonny’s

Soul often refers to Chonny/Whole by using the words “me/myself” (Mucka Blucka, The Soul Eclectic, The Bidding), while Heart and Mind talk about Whole as “their vessel”

I think we can safely assume that Soul is closer to Chonny, compared to the other two sides. And we have a confirmation of that, considering Soul’s nature: since he’s a husk/shell, Soul “contains” Chonny, while Heart and Mind are more like “attributes/aspects” of Chonny.

In addition to that, Dream adds other information about this character:

*Soul is aware of the loop: Soul’s reaction to the start of a new cycle is panic, then tiredness. "I don't know if I can go another round of cacophony", he says and that alone proves he knows what happened and he knows what will happen, because he already experienced all of it.

This point is also fundamental for the worldbuilding, because it implies that Chonny and his sides have the same amount of information and the same level of awareness. Unlike works like Sanders Sides in which the parts hide information from their whole, CCCC does not have this delay. All Chonny knows, his sides know as well.

*Soul is tired of Heart and Mind: "My sympathy's draining me dry" implies that there was a time (maybe in previous loops) in which he was more sympathetic towards them. But after reliving the loop who knows how many times, he’s growing tired of their constant bickering.

*Soul is more powerful than Heart and Mind: this is only the first time he implies they need to “take him over”, but neither of them is strong enough to “control him”.

*Soul is moved by the will to live: for the entire album, Soul has one goal and one goal only. To reunite. To come back into one. And even if he gets tired of Heart and Mind, even if he ponders suicide, to finally get some peace, in the end it’s hope that prevails. Right when it seems the dark thoughts are taking over, Soul finds the strength to try again, one more time. And maybe "when we become whole, it'll hold".

All of this is not motivated by religion or faith in a superior being, but by pure, simple, will to live. Life is short, so it’s better to give it a try anyway, rather than not try at all and regret it.

But that’s not all. This song also introduces names here, so let’s talk a bit about them too:

Apollo - god of the sun, but also of arts, oracles, and knowledge. Wikipedia also adds:

His oracles were often consulted for guidance in various matters. He was in general seen as the god who affords help and wards off evil. 

and

Apollo also encouraged the founding of new towns and the establishment of civil constitutions, is associated with dominion over colonists, and was the giver of laws.

Wow, isn’t that very fitting for Mind? He also wants to become the "giver of laws" and the one who "wards off the evil” aka Heart (The Mind Electric).

Artemis - sister of Apollo, associated with the moon, goddess of nature and animals and:

(she) punishes harshly those who cross her. Artemis' wrath is proverbial, and represents the hostility of wild nature to humans

So Heart isn’t associated with love and kindness as anyone would expect, but with wilderness and instincts.

And wow, isn’t this fitting as well? Heart himself will tell he’s not just the love, but also “the hate” and “the emotional side”. Of course he’s wild and impulsive. And yes, there’s also the Juno incident which is another great proof.

Atlas - a Titan condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. Basically Soul’s job: to keep everything together, while the other two fuckers slowly make their vessel crumble. And he does it in all the time loops. Poor Soul, he definitely needs a vacation.

Harmonia - goddess of harmony and concord. That should represent the union of these three characters into Whole/Chonny. And I love that Wikipedia specifically used the word "concord" - the same Chonny chose for his third act. He was saying from the start that this is the goal to reach.

And they will, but only by going through a long, long round of Cacophony.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow@effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire​ 

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[hyba]

I tried AI for the first time...

Hm.

I tried AI today for the first time, and gave it a prompt to outline an article, and then to draft the article. I've never generated any writing with AI before, other than a few bits of AI art back when it was a sparkly new thing, and even then it felt... odd. I've had very definite thoughts about it, and since someone wanted me to use it for a job-related task, I decided to try it out and see what everyone was so addicted to.

First thoughts:

It's surprisingly good at understanding complex prompts. I actually didn't expect it to pick up on a few things I put in the prompt, but it managed to touch upon every single point. I thought I might confuse it, but apparently not.

It provides a clear and concise draft, which I also didn't expect. It reads smoothly, and there's a logic to the way the information is presented.

I'm not really liking the final results, though, because they still feel a bit bare, and that's probably a good thing because at least it means that it could still benefit from the human touch.

It's painfully reminiscent of every single article I come across online these days, making me wonder just how many bloggers, magazines, and websites are using AI to generate their content.

Not only does it feel a bit bare-bones, it's also very surface-level in the content provided. I wonder if that's just the limitations of my prompt in the works, of if it's a legitimate concern with content generated by AI. Both would explain the dismal quality of some of the traffic-sucking AI-generated content out there in the web: people not knowing how to prompt the AI software well enough, and people just taking whatever it spouts out and copy-pasting it without any additional effort added.

The single most worrying thing for me, though, is that it used 3 sources. One of them was a book on Amazon; I still don't know if the AI had access to that whole book or if it just grabbed something from the summary. Another one was legit, as far as I could tell, and the author was an expert in his field. Unfortunately, his expertise wasn't in the subject area I was looking for. And the last one was interesting, because the author wasn't an expert, but the article anyway was more of an opinion piece. I don't know how I feel about this selection of sources; I don't think any teacher would have passed me if I wrote a paper using only these three sources in high school, let alone college.

All of that being said, I understand now the addiction of it. How quickly it wrote a whole article for me, and not a bad one, either - with a little more tweaking and a little more depth and analysis here and there, and some new sources, the article could be very good. I suppose that's essentially a rewrite... So you get a backbone/skeleton, generated in a matter of seconds, and I think the ideal approach is then to fix it up and add a lot more content, since it doesn't look like it really goes in much depth? I wonder if this is what the workflow looks like for someone who uses AI for their copywriting. Or if they just copy paste and call it a job well done. (That can't possibly work though, right? Like, people can tell, I think?)

I know my standpoint on this, but outside right/wrong, I'm afraid this isn't going to go away anytime soon, with capabilities like this. Which means... Well, I'm a little worried and a little unsure what this means. Already I'm seeing job posts for jobs that never included the term AI before, now placing it as a requirement. I think we're definitely entering a time where it won't be about whether or not you like or support it; it'll be something imposed upon you by your employers, so that you can churn out more, and be more productive, and positively impact their bottom line.

So, those were my immediate thoughts after using AI to generate a whole article.

...And then I asked it to write a story.

Specifically, I asked it to write Apartment as a short story.

Check it out.

[swordfright]

do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

[tanejineri]

alright chat, i swore it

i'm going sentence case for this, i have been thinking about this for a while now, and it's going to drive me fucking insaaane so bear with me here. also just a note i am autistic and this subject is a huge point of passion for me so also bear with me on that part everything underlined is a link that will take you to the sources of everything discussed if you need a refresher alrighty enjoy rahh

How Not to Transition to Human: A Psychoanalysis of Magpies and Fassad

INTRODUCTION

Hello! Hi! It's me, your favorite ibuprofen addicted love child of an asshole and autistic person resulting in an autistic kind-of asshole. To my fellow neurodivergents, I have a question for you--are you human?

If your answer is yes, you'll probably not understand this essay very well. If your answer is no, you'll understand it very concisely. I, myself, am not human. It's common for those with neurodiversity to not attach themselves to humanity and instead connect with things that aren't human, whether it be an animal, an insect, or inanimate things. Or fantastical creatures! I myself am a chimera. Not like MOTHER 3 or Fullmetal chimera, I am a hare-stone marten-coyote-porcupine-cat hybrid. Or I simply refer to myself as a jackalope.

You've probably already clicked off, thinking to yourself, "What is this guy waffling about?! I came here to read a Fassad analysis, not about what fucking animal I'd be!" Well, this is all necessary so hold on. This lack of humanity can come from being born in a way that is different, and therefore people treat you differently. Or, maybe you feel more comfortable feeling closer to identifying with those animals because you understand them more than what you were born as. Being non-human identifying is similar to being transgender, just as that is also associated with autism.

Now I'm not autism coding anyone today, but what if you weren't born human? Let's say you were born as what humans would consider an animal?

THE LINE BETWEEN HUMAN AND ANIMAL

Magpies. Not the birds, not some sports team somewhere in this world, the replacement word I use for mag******. Everyone has a different word for them, but I like to say magpie.

You are a human who just happens to run into something that looks human, seems human, but clearly there is something off about them. They could have more hair than you, maybe unnatural proportions. They could have weird feet, weird colors, weird behavior. You'd consider that an animal. Refer to the beginning of Chapter 7, when they tied up Ionia. That is what you'd do with an animal.

Magpies are human at their base--their sentience, their appearance, and their way of living is very much so human, but it seems that there are some things that clearly allude to their lack of humanity. Humanity is such a strict construct, that you could be considered an animal on some aspects. In this case their mentality, and their behavior. Magpies are hyperfeminine (by human standards), and they are, in a sense, immortal beings. Along with their strong connection to the Dragon and the Earth, this is something that a person could discriminate about.

The magpies, not being human, alienate humans from themselves as the humans do with them. Refer to Chapter 1 in Aeolia's shell at the tea party. Having just helped a boy, and not understanding the urgency of the family, considering his life as meaningless in their eyes, even laughing about it amongst one another. "Oh, get over yourselves. / We couldn't care less about you humans. Here one minute and gone the next. (...) Why would anyone bother to care about such short lives?" And even though Doria stepped up, they still talked about it as a different way of thinking. You could sympathize with their words, but it's clearly one said out of understanding and less about sympathy. "Humans worry about such short lives. / Isn't that right, Alecy-poo?"

You could try to consider magpies human as much as you please. However, this does not mean that they would consider themselves human in comparison to you. You are not a magpie in their eyes, nor are you "biologically." You never will be. Just as they'll never be human to you "biologically."

However, this doesn't mean they are locked away from identifying with humans, just as with the other way around. The border between human and animal in general is very thin, almost non-existent, as we ourselves have scientific names. What makes a human different from an animal? The answer is their way of living.

THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF LOCRIA

It is never explained why Locria left. We know what Locria is, but we do not know who they are. I mean, we do know, refer to Chapter 8 and the 100 floors, but we don't know them as a person from prior to this. The magpies briefly mentioned them in passing (refer back to Chapter 1), but there seemed to be little to almost no concern on their whereabouts from the party. Overall, before they became who we know now as Fassad, they are an enigma overall. The most we can do is theorize who they were and what caused them to turn their back on the others. Hehehe. HEHEHE-

Okay, maybe I lied. This isn't very much of a scholarly essay as it is me pouring my stupid little headcanons over your head and stating them as fact. But obviously it's not fact because I just admitted to it being headcanons. Alrighty, let's dig into it.

What is the difference between a magpie and a human beyond their biological dichotomy? Look into their behaviors and their significance of their life. Refer to Chapter 7 with Doria and how eager they are to have their needle pulled. Have you ever thought about how excited they are for what is essentially their death? All of them are. The way they jump around, the way they praise Lucas for being there for them. They don't protest for the Masked Man to either. They have no control over their fates, and they have accepted that. It is the way of the Dragon and that is how they were made to fall.

Humans are afraid of death. We find the idea of lacking free will horrible, a pessimistic point of view in our eyes. To lie down and kneel to a life of no control all to a force that doesn't care for whichever way your life goes, whether the world lives or dies, is torture. What fear they have is what pushes them onto wanting to change. Whether it be themselves, or those around them, or whether they live or die, humans live for themselves. And they know that.

Fassad is comically evil. He does whatever he likes, hurts because he can, and wants to push others down. Have you considered what Locria could have been like? Certainly not the same. They were presented as kind, having a little mouse friend and taking good care of it. They could have known Kumatora when she was a baby, and this brings me into this.

Perhaps Locria has seen the beauty of human life through Kumatora. Watching her grow, the way she works around, how she can just grow up and love, to live around the castle of a family long gone. She could live anywhere. She could die anywhere. She had free will. And there is some envy you would feel knowing that you're locked to your own fate while the one you're caring for gets to flourish past you.

Humans have free will, while a magpie does not. All they do is bring prophecies to others like angels, while they sit around and gossip amongst another with nothing going on. There's only so much monotony that one can take before they snap.

TO TRANSITION TO HUMAN

Tell me, my good human. What makes a human? It's not their dichotomy. It's there behavior and actions, as well as their sentience. You look at a talking animal and don't go "That's an animal," you go "That's an anthropomorphic animal." Anthropomorphism is a term you are very much so familiar with and have experienced all throughout your life. Humans love to connect with animals by giving them humanoid traits, or even objects. Objects made to look like animals, animals made to look like toys. Give them all life with human traits. Give it a name, give it a voice, make it move.

Anthropomorphism cannot apply to something already sentient. It would rather instead be known as "human." The way people refer to elephants as "human" simply because they show emotion. Well, let's stop being all giddy and smiley all the time. Perhaps there are some concerns to voice. Let's say you don't like the idea of living an idle life of talking over and over and lounging around for hundreds of years to come. You'll express frustration. They don't like that.

Humans don't dress over the top and flaunt themselves like birds. They prefer simplicity. Some like complexity, those are the outliers, but the majority prefers things in colors you see every day. Green for the grass and leaves. Brown bark. White clouds. Snow. Blue water. Yellow flowers. Golden flowers. Okay ok ok ok ok you get it you fucking get it okay? IM JUST BEING ON THE NOSE- Perhaps you wish to be attune with that. More colors of what you see every day. You wish to be a part of nature, not a stand out against it. They don't like that.

Like animals, humans wish for survival. They live and fight to survive. Wars, pack divides, fight for dominance, establishment of hierarchy. "I'm better than you!" "Well, my mane is darker, therefore I am better than you." Rabbits have very loose napes so that they can run away from the grasp of predators when caught. Crane flies' life spans are so short that they live simply to mate and die and keep their life going on through generations before. The one thing that every living being wants to do is stay alive. So why shouldn't we? Why should we lie down when we can stand up? Perhaps I don't want to die. Perhaps I wish to live my life. I want to talk amongst the people, to love, to die in a way that is not by fate, but rather my own volition.

Nobody likes that. See, being a magpie, you are a headstone of the Dragon. You don't choose when to live, or to die, or whether or not you'll be happy or sad during that time. Everything is a flow of one direction.

To humans, that's known as pessimism. There are religions, yes, where our fates are predetermined, and the God will give us missions, struggles, to see if we make it up to their Heaven or burn in their Hells, but to the normal, every day person, this is pessimism.

Humans around negative energy are quick to react to it and wish to run away from it. We all run from death. And so does Locria.

THE FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR A HUMAN

The only human Locria interacted with was a child, Kumatora. That would be a good frame of reference if it weren't for the fact that it was a child. But let's say they were to meet another human. One who can change everything for them. Get this, someone with an offer nobody could refuse.

Hello chat, welcome to the reason why Fassad is a bitchass motherfucker. He's modelled off of Porky Minch. I KNOW, FAR FETCHED. BUT HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT. Sure, there's Alec. But how do we know when the fuck he joined in? Or how long ago all the planning took place? Okay, boom. Shot that down. Porky in MOTHER 3 is the worst thing on earth. I don't want any defenders of Porky right now, because it doesn't change the fact that he's an asshole. Okay?

Porky disregards the well-being of his citizens by creating elaborate ways to torment people who don't follow his way (refer to Thunder Tower as a whole), acts nonchalant, aggressive, and dramatically with those around him (refer to Chapter 8, post-Pork Bot fight), and sees no humanity in animals (Chimera) and even uses them for his benefit in cruel and unusual ways (refer to Chapter 5, the electric catfish). Keep all of this in mind.

Considering Locria's vulnerability and desperation during this time I would believe, it'd be easy to fall into the hands of someone who would offer you something you been wanting--invulnerability. Get this--have you noticed that they only found the Final Needle after Fassad died? Refer back to Chapter 8. Sure it could have been set up to appear that way, but have you considered that this might have been intentionally delayed while he was around? Fassad was able to live his life however he pleased, do whatever he pleased, treat everyone and everything around him as he pleased. And at the end of it all, he was a magpie according to game allusions. It was the final, yes, but why that one? Beyond the digging, they could have easily done it faster with machinery, yet they chose human labor. Food for thought, food for thought. Colon three. :3.

A chance to live your life as freely as you like. That is what the invulnerability offers you. You don't have to worry about your fate, because your fate is protected by the one who you believe will stick to his word. Looking past the assholery and manipulative feel of this person, seems like someone who will be able to help you. He has big plans, and they need you. Perhaps you could help in some way to bring this guy power. You could use the others...

There has to be an intense moral breakdown to have gotten Locria to side with Porky, let alone follow him. Some type of string pulling, words drizzled in honey, anything. What could have brought you to abandon what is essentially your family to join the side of darkness? It's obvious. Invulnerability. Safety amongst my arms. A gift of wax wings to fly however you please. So, now what?

HUMANITY IS INHERENTLY EVIL

MANKIND IS A FAILURE. FREE WILL IS A FLAW. LET THE EVIL OF THEIR OWN LIPS CONSUME THEM. THEN I SHALL BEGIN AGAIN, WITH MY WORD AS LAW.

sorry for the interest overlap teehee <3

What does an animal feel when it sees a human? Does it run? Does it hide? Does it bite? Does it investigate? And does its investigation result in its death? A lot of religions believe that humanity is an inherently evil race. Why am I talking about religion so much? Hyperfixated fuck- A lot of people believe humanity to be inherently evil. We spoil the Earth with our presence, as we were not made to progress this far.

Porky is an inherently evil person. He refuses to change even to his end (refer to Chapter 8, Absolutely Safe Capsule), he's all the things I listed prior, and so far he's the only real frame of reference that we have for a human that isn't Alec and Kumatora. He's everything that we can only look at now. Sure, people can be good, but Porky isn't. He's the example of the worst that can come of humanity.

You have to blend in with those around you, so you take from them as you go. So what does he do? He disregards the well-being of the villagers and manipulates them into doing what he wants, subtly tormenting them in ways that will get them to follow his way, acts aggressive and overreacts dramatically to the most minute things, and is needlessly cruel to an animal he needs to use for Porky's volition. All come from Chapter 3, and here¹ they² are³ in order.

I KNOW. I'M STRETCHING. BUT BUT UHHH. UM. UH- I'm always right!

So now we've reached the point of no return. Fassad mimics the bit of human he sees in Porky and increases it tenfold there-in turning against everything that he was born as when it comes onto morals, ways of living, and of course appearance. Because so far this is what a powerful human being has been. A cruel, relentless being. And the weaker ones are meek, easy to deceive. Their softness is what brings about their downfall, and overreliance on one another their playing into hands.

But it's on them. Humans are what twisted Porky to be the way that he is. All humans are evil by Fassad's standards. They hurt one another, intentional or not, and they're selfish for all their power. He follows Porky's rhetoric to a T--they'll always sign their own death warrant.

CONCLUSION

I have no idea what I'm trying to say here, to be fucking honest. Fassad is a complicated case of extreme mirroring and loss of self all because he felt different than how he was born as. Obviously, he's also transgender by definition of switching over from what he was born as. I know that's not a part of the essay, but it's something of note because the switching over to the binary was alongside his transition as a person.

Yes, the game wants you to believe that he was a magpie. And he once was! No matter how many mustaches he glues on his face, no matter how tightly he ties up his hair to hide it in his headdress, he will always be on the surface a magpie. But deep down, and even on the surface as well, he died human.

[jellymellydraws]

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Astarion x Dark Urge Chapter 22 -- All Fun and Games, Until It's Not Rating: E Tags: Angst, Fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn

Chapter Summary:

Rose innocently teases Astarion while they finish cleaning up the worg pits. The elf, however, wasn't in the mood to play..

The tension which hung in the pits had finally released. Even Rose's held breath was free with the druid's agreement to trust in her plans. The group gathered around Halsin asking questions of their own; many of which took their leader by surprise. With respect for the time they already spent, the only request she made of her team was to keep questions short and direct. They needed the druid to disappear, and they had to return to Minthara before she became suspicious of their lengthy absence.

"I don't suppose you know anything about The Absolute's plans for a Duke of the Gate?" Wyll asked with hesitant hope on his tongue.

Again, The Blade was worried about The Kidnapped Duke. She expected the subject to remain on his mind, but asking the imprisoned Druid? The goblins wouldn't be stupid enough to spill their full plans in front of him right?

"If I were to guess, quite possibly to implant a tadpole within him," Halsin answered plainly, "for what reason, I can't answer concretely."

That was expected. But for Wyll, he sighed with disappointment. She quietly pulled out her journal and flipped to its backpages. Earlier, she had noted Wyll's focus on the Duke, but seeing as he brought the subject up at the next chance he got-- she'd make sure to talk to The Blade about it later. A small star was scribbled next to the note regarding the Duke, along with a curved arrow pointing to Wyll's name.

"When we freed Liam, he told me you joined to find the Night Song," Shadowheart asked, "I was wondering if you made any progress on that?"

Night Song? That wasn't a note she recalled jotting down. Yet, it was on the cleric's mind. Hm... Reviewing the page in front of her, nothing mentioning the night or a song to be seen. Beneath what she wrote for Wyll, she added another one.

Shadowheart -- Night Song???

"Their stout companion had a map-- or rather, I think it was a poem? Something upon his person that was to aid in finding a path to the Night Song," Halsin explained, "their contract only directed them as far as this temple, however. Without a description of what the Night Song is, I cannot say what they would be searching for. More unfortunate, he was one of those overcome by the goblins when we arrived. I cannot say what became of his notes after that."

"A shame..."

"Thank you for entertaining us, Halsin," Rose said. "If you're going to stay, we should at least send word back to The Emerald Grove that you are safe."

"Ah, yes of course." Halsin opened the flap from his pouch, which appeared comically small in his oversized hand. A scroll case was procured from it and gingerly placed into Rose's hand, "if you can get further from the temple walls-- maybe your camp, if it's far enough-- use this to send a message back to Rath."

Upon opening the scroll case, arcane sigils were penned onto rolled parchment. Some of the symbols resembled those she saw around the Grove, but nothing she could understand. Gale was close to her shoulder, trying to get a glance of the magical paper within. His silence signaled that even he couldn't immediately read the spell.

"Animal Messenger," Halsin explained, seeing the furrowed brows of both Assassin and Wizard, "the spell will recruit a small bird or squirrel to relay a message, in your words. This is a basic druidic spell, however, which means you should keep your concise-- or your message will be delivered incomplete. I will find your camp later. For now, I leave the Drow to you."

Rose handed Gale the scroll case for safekeeping before giving a firm nod to Halsin, "we've got it covered."

With one final look to his saviors, Halsin wished them well, and once again was engulfed in his warm golden magic. A massive form shrunk into that of a tiny furry rat, before skittering into one of the goblin burrows and disappearing from sight.

"If he could have done that the whole time-- why didn't he?!" Astarion groaned, "ugh, honestly," an accusatory finger pointed at Rose, "you need to start charging for the inconvenience."

"If that were to happen, how much do you think you'd owe her just for today?" Shadowheart smirked.

"Oh ha-ha." The elf sarcastically laughed.

Blood red were the threads which weaved together as her ideas budded, colored with half truths which dyed the fabric of her tale. 

'It was like that when they got there,' she would swear. 'The bear was long gone, not before spilling the blood of his captors.' 'The freshness of the corpses implied this escape was recent.' 'In fact, their diminished forces provided the opportunity he needed to make his escape!'

Yes...believable. They never met the druid-- never saw the druid. They got here, saw the corpses, and investigated before reporting back.

That could work...

However, there were fraying threads which threatened to undo the whole tapestry before it left the loom. Where did the grease come from, which covered the paws of the worgs? One of the ceiling braziers mysteriously plummeted to the ground, while its twin remained untouched; why? The giant spider --misshapen thanks to blunt force and oozing out of its slashed wounds-- could not have been killed by the bear, so who else would have done it?

Commander Minthara was sharp. Too sharp to miss these details, and certainly too sharp to allow Rose and her team to leave alive at the slightest whiff of a lie. 

If she was going to create a story, it needed to be believable. If there were any flaws to her story, she needed to explain them away.

And if the only flaw were to be found by investigating the worg pits, then maybe she should give no reason to investigate further.

It was coming together...

Step One: cover their tracks.

The pits were a mess of guts and rubble, courtesy of a wild bear charging through the whole place. Whatever body parts remained intact were slashed with Halsin's fury. Very little remained of her own group's influence. But what little did, needed to be dealt with to the best of their capabilities.

"Collect all your arrows and blades. Leave the corpses untouched. Any possible trace of our interference, I want it removed," Rose commanded from the stone railing, overseeing the lower pits as the natural acoustics carried her voice. "An experienced Commander such as Minthara would know the signs of disturbed bodies, I'm not taking any risks here."

Lae'zel pursed her lips, staring at the table she tossed aside when Astarion found the dead dwarf. But orders were orders. Without a second thought, the gith effortlessly lifted the table and slowly placed it back atop the butchered corpse. 

"I was looting that!" Astarion complained, holding the hand which narrowly escaped being crushed.

"We were given direct orders," Lae'zel said.

Astarion tutted to himself before rising to his feet and closing his bag. His glare lingered upon the warrior, but nothing was said further.

Gale leaned against his staff for support while casting mage hand around the place to pick up and carry bits and pieces of broken potion bottles. A cloth draped over his open palm, where the small shards were escorted and carefully covered. Stowing them in his pack, the cleverness of the idea struck Rose. By wrapping the glass in cloth, he would not mistakenly pierce himself when digging in his pouch. Simultaneously, it meant that the mess left from thrown grease jars and discarded potions, acids, and brews would not be found.

"You've done this before, I take it?" Rose smirked to the wizard.

"Ah, well you don't get to be of my academic level without a few broken vials," he chuckled, "although alchemists are more experienced in this realm, I'd imagine. I've had my fair share of destroyed potions-- or even shattered windows, depending on the study."

Another chuckle, but this time she saw a wince in Gale's eye. A guilty smile flashed up towards her, realizing he had been caught.

"I don't suppose...well, in my condition I was moreso hoping--"

"Do you need to go back to camp, Gale?" Rose asked, outright.

"That would be preferred, yes. Though, I suppose it'd be rather obvious if I were seen limping when I was the image of perfect athleticism a moment ago-- save for my knees...but that isn't new."

"Heh, give me a moment to think up a plan. I'm sure I can-- oh that cheeky little shit."

"What--"

"Eyes on me. Don't look away."

Gale stopped himself from his head turning. Rose maintained her position facing towards the wizard. From the corner of her eye, however, caught an interesting sight.

There, slinking towards the deceased heaps of worg corpses: silvery curls and pointed ears, Astarion. No one else around, and no doubt taking advantage of Gale distracting her-- leave it to a former Magistrate to prod at the potential loopholes in her commands.

"What is he doing...?" She whispered to herself.

No, it was way too obvious! Of course he knew she could see him-- hells, he was probably toying with her. Probably bored, now that she thought about it.

"Give me a second, I need to entertain the restless Artiste," She smirked, turning on her heel and quietly descending the steps towards their sneaky elf. 

"I said leave the corpses alone, Art-starion," she playfully chided, with her arms crossing casually over her chest, "that includes the hounds--"

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" 

His shriek ricocheted off the stonework, striking her silent as the hiss of his last word pierced her ears. Widened amber eyes locked onto equally widened rubies once he realized that the echo originated from him. 

Whatever color remained in his face, drained. 

Lips fluttered as he scrambled to recover.

"I-I mean--" his forced chuckle accompanied the slow, practiced, straightening of his posture, "an honest mistake, darling. You know, Wyll hasn't found anything to hunt around camp-- not for lack of trying, of course. The wilderness has been rather barren, hasn't it? I had thought I was doing our ever hard-working camp a favor. Unless," he extended an arm to Wyll, gesturally dragging him into his performance, "you think tonight would be different; why shouldn't we take these back to camp? Maybe it'll taste like wolf meat!"

Wyll's brow raised in skepticism, as his good eye glanced over to Rose. 

"Well?" She pushed for his response.

"Well..." the Blade began.

She shifted her weight onto one of her legs, raising her own brow, "you're not going to buy this--"

"He's not wrong..." he admitted, sheepishly smiling as a guilty hand rubbed the back of his neck. The apologetic strain in his voice did little to sooth the pain caused by her head whipping around with incredulity. "I mentioned the lack of animals earlier today...especially in these last few days."

"Seeeeeeeee!" Astarion cheered, appearing beside the Blade, arm draped over his newfound ally's shoulders, "if Wyll agrees with me, then I'm not being dramatic! We do have a lack of food reserves, and --while we're being honest-- I'm not sure how much longer we'll be lucky with fishing." He flashed another smile to her, before his gaze trailed above her head. 

As she followed his line of sight, she caught what he had settled on. Above her, Alfira and Gale were watching from the destroyed railing, and a sparkle of opportunity glinted in the elf's red eyes. 

"And here," he continued, pulling his arm off Wyll and briskly returning to the worg corpses, "we have perfectly good, and fresh food!" Quick fingers swiped over his tongue, pinching out a tiny flame at the end of one of the beast's ears. "I'll admit, it's ratheeeerrrrr, exotic, but it's nothing our magnificent Chef Gale of Waterdeep couldn't handle with his magical cooking capabilities. Isn't that right Gale? I know we've had a rough morning, you and I, but maybe we can break bread and put that behind us? Hm?"

"You know..." Gale began to stroke his beard, intrigued by the challenge.

Rose pinched the bridge of her nose, "no, don't--"

"I once read a cookbook of classic Faerunian recipes which challenged ambitious chefs to use non-traditional protein substitutes." 

"You're supposed to be smarter than this..." she whispered to herself in defeat, rubbing circles in her temples as a headache formed. 

"All settled then!" Astarion clapped his hands together. "We take one dead mutt back to camp, Gale cooks it into something delicious-- a reward for a job well done today-- and everybody's happy!"

He emphasized each point with a step towards Rose, smiling proudly as he closed the proposal with a low bow.

She had to admit: it was his best performance yet. An impromptu act, left on the stage before her, and joined by the best co-stars he could have asked for!

How could she say no?

"No." 

Easily, and with a smirk.

Astarion's expression dropped like a porcelain vase falling off a shelf; shattered. That glint in his eye-- the hope, pride, and excitement-- gone, "Fine," he grumbled, dejected, "I'll leave the damned thing to rot..." He shrunk into a small, slouched, broken man. With a downward gaze and furrowed brow, he turned on his heel and slunk up the small stairway.

Watching him, her eyes softened and chest twisted painfully. The immediacy which he shifted from playfulness to melancholy...the Worg wasn't that serious of a matter to him-- was it...?

From the corner of her eye, she saw Wyll staring after the elf pensively. There was some sort of understanding within his gaze. One she couldn't place, nor could reason the source of. When his eye fell upon her, the disappointment pierced her like a true flying arrow.

Gods damn it all. She wasn't in the wrong, here! If they weren't undercover, she'd let him take both those worgs! Hell, if it weren't for that, she'd let Astarion take every corpse his little heart desired back to camp in a rolling cart! 

Didn't they understand that?! How important it was that they didn't fuck this up?!

Rose's feet moved her up the steps after him, before reason could find her in the growing mountain of her frustrations, "Astarion--!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he whipped around, bowing sarcastically, "I forgot to ask: may I be dismissed? Or do you need anything, dear leader?"

This little shit, how could he be so fucking--

Her chest twisted again, now staring into his exhausted eyes. Dark circles pooled beneath them, made darker by how sunken they were. From within, she sensed a hint of pain. It was this same look, she realized, he had given her at camp earlier-- when she assured him that he'd be taken care of without owing her a silver piece.

“I was captured," echoed his voice from the previous night, "and kept as a slave," bearing a weight only the river could carry. "For the last two hundred years, that’s all I’ve been.”

...How could she be so thoughtless? 

Guilt snapped its jaws around her, overriding the mounting urge to retaliate against his insolence.

"...No," against all instincts, her face softened, "we'll finish up here. Take Gale back to camp with you and we'll meet you there."

"Tsk..." Astarion rolled his eyes, then pretended to examine his nails (which, again, were properly covered in leather gloves), "what makes you think I'm returning to camp?" 

"Fine, then don't-- I'm not going to stop you. But it would be a favor to me, if you snuck him out and dropped him off at camp."

"I'm right here," Gale chimed in, "and I'm not sure if I appreciate being spoken of like smuggled goods."

"Shut up, wizard!" Astarion snapped. "Ugh-- a favor, you said?"

"Add it to my tab," Rose said.

"Oh, I will." The Agitated Artiste glared at Gale, who looked more like he was trying to disappear than to be caught in his sights. "Come on, Gale. But if you pass out on the road, I'm leaving you there."

"Don't do that," she half-heartedly pleaded.

"Then I'm adding every inconvenience as an extra favor you owe me."

"How does that-- are you--" she shook her head at every possible rebuttal, "--okay fine, that's fine. Whatever it takes to get him there safe and alive."

"Pleasure doing business with you, I'll see to it the wizard makes it to camp in one piece-- one living piece."

Trepidation took over the wizard's face as he hobbled towards his irritated escort.

"I'm not going to carry you though," Astarion said as they walked up the stairs.

"That, I think we're agreed on," Gale responded.

Rose watched on as their back and forth quieted while their forms disappeared from the top of the staircase. There were probably better ways she could have handled that...

It also wasn't a very well-thought plan...

"Um, Rose..." Alfira's quiet voice approached her. When she looked over, the tiefling had an arm extended towards the bear-sized crater, "I'm not sure how we'll hide that." 

Ah, yeah that...might be a challenge. Pulling herself from her frozen stance, she sighed heavily staring at the massive hole.

On one hand, it would support her story that Halsin escaped after fighting viciously-- no sense in claiming there was a battle without signs that the goblins fought back. On the other hand, would this raise more questions? If the goblins could throw a bear with the power of the Absolute, why couldn't he be subdued?

Laying in a broken heap was Birka's corpse, the branded one. Her injuries would align with the story of a bear rampage. Perhaps this crater is merely evidence that she fought back?

Gods...there wasn't much else she could pull together with the scene.

They'll have to make due...

Next Chapter >>

[nofingjustaninchident]

the invisible bffism string has brought me here 👩‍❤‍💋‍👩

CONGRATULATIONS ON TWO HUNDRED FOLLOWERS MY DARLING GIRL 🥹 you deserve all the love the world has to offer and i cannot think of somebody more deserving of achieving such a HUGE. GOAL. than YOU! and i know i've said this about a billion times but i truly mean it, i'm SO ecstatic for you 🫂 WE'RE ON THE ROAD TO 1K 😈 (and TRUST i'm going to be there every step of the way)

NOW FOR YOUR GORGEOUS AMAZING PERFECT EVENT

i would LOVE! and i mean LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! to have don't take it personal as my first request for your event 💐

so now let me overshare to see which character you think for me 😊

⊹ i'm basically a leo valdez variant (it's true, rick riordan confirmed it himself) (my source? trust me bro) i tend to make a lot of sarcastic, witty comments instead of actually providing anything useful to a conversation except for the laughs

⊹ supreme certified overachiever ™ in whatever i do, whether it be for school, for work, or of my own volition i have to give 110% at all times. i'm an overachiever with a degree in perfectionism.

⊹ i'm a stickler for organization and doing things in a very systematic order (some would probably call me a control freak but.... denial is a river in egypt OKAY?!?) (i'm not a bad control freak everything just has to be perfect at all times.)

⊹ i tend to be very overcritical of myself and what i do. i've got chronic overthinkerism over here it's great, i'm living in paradise every day.

⊹ some random qualities i think match me: blunt, sarcastic, honest, caring, concise, helpful, and occasionally affectionate.

⊹ I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE! whether it be a random book character, a song, a movie, a celebrity, a topic of interest, or anything of the sort. i wholly invest myself in whatever topics tickle my fancy.

⊹ i'm an ambivert! i've never really felt like an introvert or an extrovert but instead resonated and felt like both! i can be really sociable while simultaneously wanting to stay home and read a book. i push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes and other times i keep myself confined to a box.

⊹ i tend not to take things very seriously and i'm not affected by things very easily. it takes a lot for me to be upset, angry, annoyed, saddened, or moved to be honest.

⊹ i love to make my own jewelry, i read constantly, i write pretty frequently as well, i love to connect music to my favorite types of media (books, tv shows, movies, characters, etc.), and i love singing (i used to do so in choir but i stopped after high school) it's still so much fun just to burst into whatever song is stuck in my head though

⊹ my favorite books are foolish hearts by emma mills, the raven boys by maggie stiefvater, and masters of death by olivie blake.

⊹ my favorite color is purple. it's been my #1 since i was like two or three 😭

⊹ professional yapper (i'd put another tm but i used it once) if you get me talking about a subject or topic i really, really love i will talk your ear off about it until there's a zombie apocalypse. i'll be dead and i'll still be talking to you as a sassy, well-dressed ghost.

⊹ i like to think i'm nick miller in a teenage girl's body. i'm basically him and he's me and we're the same.

ANYWAYS! i probably have a lot more information to put but i think that's good, right? I HOPE SO 😁 ANYWAYS! again take your time leah girl! i can't wait to see your answer <3

THANKS FOR COMING BABYYYY!!! you had me in tears with those first paragraphs and i love you so much!! thank you for all the support, and although we’re still fairly away from 1k i REALLY hope you’re here 😖😖

so.. you gave me a weird mix of characters. you’re like a perfectly-mixed-in-a-gorgeous-bun harry potter mixed with a little bit of the weasley twins and with a hint of percy jackson.

cause like, there’s so many things that are george and fred coded, and then comes percy, and then comes harry- my brain is short circuiting.

anyways, thank you for the love my baby!! soon it’ll be you 😖😖

[oddmawd]

THANKS FOR THE TAG...this reply is long and i'm sorry about it but i broke my response into chapters (LOL) so hopefully that helps...

Wordcount and Quality?

Like Fizzy said, word count is not an indicator of quality.

When you’re writing your story, the chapters should be as long as they need to be. No more, no less. Don’t compare them to anyone else’s work. Every story has individual storytelling needs, and chapter lengths should cater to the story you’re telling. Tell the story as it needs to be told, and don’t worry about playing comparison games with others. Their stories have different needs than yours, and that’s OK.

Speaking more generally, in my experience, short fiction is way harder to write than multi-chapter stories. You have to convey more with less. Every word counts. Concise writing is a joy to read and a hard skill to master. Please don’t feel selfconscious about short chapters, truly. It could mean your prose is tight.

A Matter of Perspective

Fanfic writers (speaking generally again) have a skewed perspective of what wordcounts actually mean, or at least how their wordcounts would translate to a published book. I think putting wordcount into perspective might be helpful here.

Published novels vary in length, but basically anything over 50k words is a novel-length work. Epic fantasy novels can breach 100k words total. But for a work of 50k words, a 10,000 word chapter would be 20% of the entire story. Most published works don’t have just 5 chapters total. They tend to have way more, which means those chapters are probably quite a bit shorter than 10k words apiece. Your 2-3k word chapter is probably in line with the lengths of chapters in some of your favorite books. 10k chapters, meanwhile, likely are not in line with what you’re used to reading in published works. Chapters that long are out of the norm for most published fiction, barring extremely lengthy works thereof.

But this isn’t published fiction; this is fanfic. Why does fanfic have longer chapters than published works?

Fanfic isn’t bound by the same constraints as published work (literally material costs to print them!), so it tends to take its time and meander a bit, hence the longer wordcounts found across fanfic. These inflated wordcounts are very much a part of the way fandom writing has evolved, but that doesn’t mean you must also wander and meander when you write. You can get right to the point if that's what your story needs.

Again: Tell your story as it needs to be told, and don’t worry about adhering to any one standard or another. Every work is unique. Let your chapters be as long or as short as you need in order to tell your story effectively. If your story is more concise than other fics, that’s not a bad thing!

Back to the subject of quality: I've read long, rambling fanfics that I liked more than well-regarded published works. And I've read tightly written published work better than most fanfics. Length was not what indicated quality in either case; it was the quality of the writing and the skill of the storytelling that made a difference.

If you take anything from my rambling, I hope it’s some perspective that your shorter chapters aren’t actually that short at all, and fanfic writers treat stretching the boundaries of wordcount like candy makers gleefully pulling saltwater taffy. You don’t have to conform to one standard or the other, and neither standard is inherently better than the other. But I hope knowing that different standards exist is helpful for you.

…That Said, Chapter Lengths Can Make an Impact

If you’re writing intentionally and with a mind for structure, chapter lengths CAN impact your story in big ways. That’s the main reason I’d pay attention to your chapter lengths: not to compare yourself to other writers, but to make sure you’re using chapter lengths conscientiously. And like Fizzy said, the trick here is in the editing of your story.

Short chapters make a story feel like it’s moving faster. If your reader has to click “next chapter” (or if they have to turn the page and see a new chapter heading) often, they’ll feel like the story is moving at a fast pace. Conversely, long chapters can make a work seem (drumroll please) even longer. When readers have to keep scrolling on and on and on through one document, that can give the illusion of even more time passing, or it can have the effect of really immersing someone in a scene. It’s hard to set a long chapter aside mid-read, but it’s easier to take breaks with lots of smaller chapters.

Think about your story’s pace when editing and deciding on chapter lengths. You may be able to make slower parts of the work move faster with intentional chaptering, or vice versa. Use chapters to your advantage if you can! Intentionality in writing is a good indicator of quality.

Chapters in My Work

I was pretty careful with chapter lengths in my most recent Doffy/Reader story (The Art of Queen Sacrifice). I structured them with care, and the structure of this story is something I’m really proud of.

That said, I would have structured it completely differently had this been a work of original fiction. Like for real. I would have broken the narrative into “parts” and then included much shorter chapters within each one, rather than structure it with just 8 lengthy chapters.

The chapters currently range between a nice and tidy 4,000 words in chapter 1, and a gargantuan, completely inadvisable 24,000 words (17k of which is smut) in chapter 7. The story is 90,000 words total, a fairly common length for a novel.

If I were to rework this into an original story, I’d try to make the chapters more consistent in length. I’d likely cut the hardcore smut, or make it less egregiously detailed to tidy up that wordcount in chapter 7. The current wordcount and chapter structure exists because fanfic allows for it, but if it were an original book, it would have completely different needs. I’d change the order of events, rework entire scenes, and rewrite parts of the narrative to better stand on their own.

Takeaway:

That’s what I mean when I say each story is unique and you shouldn’t compare your chapter lengths to others. Tell your story the way it needs to be told! If that means short chapters, that's great. If that means long ones, that's great, too, because fanfic allows for that. Even my own story told in different contexts would require different chapter lengths, so try not to sweat it too much.

Your writing isn’t always going to resemble other people’s, and that’s 100% OK.

aaaaaand ok i'm done rambling now lol, tysm for reading, hope this was helpful someone, but really fizzy covered it all, ok bye now thanks agaiiiiiinnnnn....

Everyone I see on here or Ao3 always has A LOT of words per chapter. Heck, the one you're working on has 10k+ from what you've said in that one post. How do you get all that out into one chapter? The best I can do is like, 2-3k a chapter and that feels so "meh" compared to everyone else.

First, what I want to say is that word count does not equal quality. You can say so much within 1k words just as you can say nothing in 10k words.

Heck, my most popular fic of Doffy is Risk and Reward, the fic with 4k words of Celestial Doflamingo x Reader and only like 2k of that is smut.

Nothing is "meh". All writing is great! Don't you dare talk about your writing like that! 😠

For example, I wrote just yesterday only 600 words but they are all full of feelings of a character and is that "meh"? NO! Those words are important! Whether it be plot, emotions, descriptions of something, if it is short does not make it "meh"

NO WRITING IS "MEH". Don't base the worth of your writing on the amount of words you write. It will kill your motivation bcs you'll be self-pressuring yourself to reach a "certain word count"

There is no "word count goal"

I hate that thing. Hell, I hate that it takes ME so many words to get what I want to express across in my writing!

Now, for the og question, how do we get all that out in one chapter? It takes us like a month for that. And it takes planning, too. And don't forget... ✨Motivation✨

I can't barf 10k words in one single day (okay, fine I barfed M&P Chapter 1 and wrote it in a day like I was possessed BUT that is an EXCEPTION of hyperactivity and being obsessed with Doffy 🤣)

But usually, that doesn't happen. We take breaks. We procrastinate. We got IRL duties. 10k words come from probably WEEKS or MONTHS of writing.

Editing is a big thing of how to like fit the 10k words in one chapter. I honestly HATE when I cross 10k words. When I get past that point I just HATE myself. Because editing also means PROOFREADING. And there is so many times I can re-read a scene before I never want to re-read it again in my life 🤣

10k words is like 20 pages in a Word Document, I think? That is an absolute NIGHTMARE to proofread to me.

@ohnomyhooves can say a bit more about word count cus... Hooves got the Write-Write Devil Fruit I swear to god. Also @oddmawd can also hop in and give some account on this bcs they also write quite the word count for Doffy fics (not that I'm complaining)

I myself hate reaching 10k mostly because of Editing Nightmare™ that it becomes for me.

And like... There is if you want to post it on Tumblr... From my experience, Tumblr can't take more than 12k words.

Yeah, I... I know bcs I tried. Remember, M&P Chapter 4 was originally Chapter 4+ Chapter 5 combined. I end my chapters when I feel they should end.

Write however you want and never depend on word count to tell you how good your writing or story is. That's bullshit. Writing is about having fun!

Sending love and I hope this helped a little ❤️

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking — pt. 1/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN x READER

an au where you and you literature professor realize you both have things to learn about love, and yourselves, outside of class. (as we all know, this can only be done through a big scoop of angst and a smutty cherry on top) playlist

summary: you pretty much end up stealing anakin’s job

warnings: language maybe? mention of what i read in my horrific junior year

a/n: ok ok so some of you might be thinking that obi-wants being a little bitchy but padawan obi in tpm was kind of a stickler and i kind of wanted him to grow into rots obi (bc of y/n) he does have the rots hair tho (rip jedi mullet i still love you)

word count: 1,246 so pretty short for the beginning

Your eyes were following him as he walked back and forth across the front of the small lecture hall. He was talking about troubadour poetry, or was at least supposed to be, but he ended up talking enthusiastically about his philosophies and fascination with medieval literature and their cultural ideals, etc.. His eyes were lit up and his arms making animated gestures in an almost boyish excitement. That’s why most people took this class (besides the small fact that he was one of the more attractive professors). He always clearly and concisely explained the subject in the beginning, probably because he knew he had to get it all in before he fell into his usual habit of sharing his love of literature. Even if you didn’t care about the same things, it was mesmerizing the way he put all of it, and his passion made it so it was never boring. He somehow made it all sound like a story and you were the children gathered around his campfire.

Many other students also secretly enjoyed what happened to be one of your favorite parts of the class: taking note of the way his sleeves always got rolled up when he decided to write on the board or the way he would rub the back of his neck when he was thinking, unintentionally baring his biceps. Sometimes you felt as though you should feel guilty, but you weren’t being demeaning or anything, in fact, you were admiring him.

If he didn’t want you to gaze he shouldn’t have been so handsome.

But no, this time you were staring because he was the one who gave you a 62% on your last essay. You still had a good enough grade to pass, but if you wanted to transfer to your dream school, you would have to look pretty damn good on paper. It was an art school, but a very prestigious one that wanted to see if you were going to work hard, even in your non-art-related classes. You had messed up a bit with your grades freshman year of college (missing out on many classes simply because you could), but that could be compensated for if you could show growth in the following years. That was going to take a lot of A’s if you were going to make up for your slacking off. You had worked hard on your essay, putting in the same effort that you had put into the ones that got handed back to you with 90% written on the top, and it’s not like he was the easiest grader you’ve had.

The lecture had ended, and the room echoed with heavy footsteps of students heading out, along with the comments that had been held in for the last hour. You instead stayed seated, running the dialogue you had prepared for starting a conversation with Professor Kenobi in your head one more time.

You rose from your seat, whispering “fuck it,” and headed down the stairs towards the lowest floor of the classroom.

“Professor?” you said in your most polite yet assertive voice.

“y/n is it? Is there anything I can do for you?” he responded, lifting his eyes to see you as he leaned over his desk to shuffle some papers.

“It is actually. But I was wondering if we could discuss my last essay,” You cleared your throat, trying not to show that his blue eyes of all things were making you nervous, “specifically my grade on it actually,” you added.

“Ah I see,” He folded his hands as he put down the now neat stack of papers and sat back down in his chair.

“You gave me a 62% and I’ve always gotten good grades in this class but I didn’t do anything different. I wouldn’t turn in anything that I didn’t feel was at least well written,”

“It was well written, but that’s not the point”

“I’m sorry professor, but how is that not the point?” you said, brows furrowing

“The way you write is beautiful but it’s what you’re writing about. You completely missed the prompt” He didn’t say it harshly, but rather as though it was a casual fact that he figured you already knew.

“How do the relationships in troubadour poems reflect personal and real-world relationships?” You repeated the prompt for clarity.

“Yes. You gave me a description of a dynamic based on false idealism, but there was nothing personal, nothing real to you. I could have read an article on the facts of those dynamics if I really wanted to, but this isn’t psychology class,”

“So it should have been personal?”

It may not be psychology class but it is an essay, not a diary.

He could see the confusion on your face was still present so he elaborated, “It should have meaning. I want this class to push you into reflection. We can’t just read other people's experiences without applying them to our own. What would be the point? I asked for something personal. You don’t have to address anything wildly uncomfortable, but I graded them based on if you could tell someone actually tried to discover something by the end of the essay,” you could admire his intentions, but it was just an essay to you.

“So I got this grade because I didn't do some soul searching,” you deadpanned, no longer confused, but more irked.

His brows raised at your forwardness. He didn’t seem offended, but rather surprised.

“If you truly are unhappy with your grade, I’ll allow you to redo the essay,”

Well, you could redo it and fluff it all up now that you knew what he wanted. At the end of the day, you would do whatever just to take anything higher.

“Thank you I—“

“But I can only raise it 10% because it is after the fact,”

“Professor really?” you said exasperated. You actually stood up straight after that comment, hoping you didn’t sound disrespectful or rude. Thankfully, his reaction, or lack thereof, was exactly what you were hoping for.

“Well, let’s see… there’s a lot of filing and other tasks that I need done, they’re all menial i’m afraid, but I’d be willing to give you extra credit for it,”

Your face turned into a more pleasant expression, and then a confused one once more.

“Don’t you have a TA for that?”

“Anakin? Oh yes, well he’s…he likes to do everything at his own leisure” he sighed but didn’t seem too down about it, more like he was used to it.

“So, may I ask, why’s he your TA?”

“It was a favor to a friend, Professor Qui Gonn Jinn. Please don’t mention it but Anakin's actually his godson. Although I’m British, I’m not a huge supporter of nepotism,- don’t worry,” he smiled. “It’s really because he believes he has a lot of potential, and I agree— but practically he’s not very helpful” you laughed a little at his comment and he had a slightly amused face as well.

There was a slight pause before you said, “I’d like to take you up on your offer,” nodding firmly.

“I’ll see you in my office after every class starting tomorrow? Does that work with your classes?”

“Yes,” you said after taking a moment to think about your schedule.

“Wonderful. I look forward to it,” he smiled, getting up and slinging his work bag over his shoulder.

Spending that much time with a professor? If I go bored out of my mind…

PART 2

[dreamtillmorning]

Preliminary Trouble

Lucifer x Endless!reader

Gender neutral reader, they/them

Warnings: I cannot find much and would love to be informed, but the following I reckon: At the end, the script has about 2 suggestive comments, and possible dubcon. The passages leading to it are physically intimate.

A/N: Just wrote my first x reader piece, starting short and concise! This is a little inconventional in that below you’ll find a something close to an ASMR script, which is the medium this is based on. I started it that way, didn’t anticipate to publish it until now. Recommended to read in Lucifer’s voice as played by Gwendoline Christie; best reference at the time of writing is the short Sandman clip of A Hope in Hell.

Paragraphs = pauses, likely when reader interjects until toward the end

Background: Canon divergent. Reader is an eighth sibling of the Endless (not canon). They arrive to Hell before Dream did to claim the helm in advance. That being said, plot is not largely taken in consideration.

🔈Hello again. It has been a while since we have last seen each other … or your other siblings, for that matter. How have you been?

That’s great. we cannot bear to fall behind on updates of your and their wellbeings, and yes, Dream is not well … as we’ve reckoned. Word has it a helm of his has landed in our realm, one that is essential for his livelihood obviously … one which you are looking for, of course, for your brother’s sake, how lovely. [Sigh], if only we know which of our subjects have it in their possessions. If only it were that easy. Our sights can reach so far, you see, but if you know any names, any demons, you can say it right here, and then they can be right in front of us.

You don’t? How unfortunate.

Goodbye already? What a shame. It won’t change your fruitless effort here. How unfortunate it shall come to a waste then, doesn’t it? Is this where you are going to stop and call it an end?

We’re not desperate, but we’re afraid such isn’t the case for you. We’re not worried, but you should be yourself. After all, you don’t even know where the helmet is, or the name of anyone who has it. You can’t even hunt them down. How are you going to help your brother like this? How are you going to implore for our help? No tools, no leads, all powerless and hopeless. A poor little bird who lost their way in hell.

You like that, don’t you?

Of course you do, little bird … It’s clear as day to see. Your cheeks are pinker than when you first came here, your heartbeat a little faster … There’s no need to fear, really. You think your own words and your body betrays you, but if anything they bring out none closer to who you really are.

Yes, it’s not what you embody. But is it not how you feel? Heat rising to your cheeks and coiling its way around your heart as you lose your way around words, blabbering and quivering like a little mouse. You can deny it all you want; it was what they all do anyway till the last possible moment, regardless if they know it was all in vain.

Of course you don’t have to suffer as they did. You’re not damned as those souls are. You’re Dream’s little sibling, are you not? Also you have not done anything here yet, have you? No accomplishments, no nothing. Don’t worry little one, let us take care of you. We wouldn’t dare to harm such a lovely soul. Shh… Don’t be shy; let us have a good look at your face. What soft skin you have. What pretty visage you have, especially those eyes you have … How they shine so brightly and our subjects much love to eat them up! We can think of various other things to do with them… no, not physically, not punishments, but other, different, ways.

What do we mean by that? The ways to contort your expressions in ectasy, to let those eyes of yours gloss over in pleasure, to open your little lips and - just like that - taste the finger which feeds them. It’s not much right now, unless you come for more. Ask for more. I can see you want more, but that is not enough:

You need to say it.

You fret so much, little bird. Why dare we maim a sibling of Dream’s?

If you’re so concerned, you are free to come and find out. Or go back to the wild lands; there are demons who hunger for your flesh, let alone any chance of getting back your dear brother’s helmet. The choice is yours.

Wise choice. Good bird.

You may stay, but did we say you can stand here? Remember who is the guest here. Come.

Good bird.

You like it, don’t you?

Don’t you want to be told you’re so good? Don’t you want to prove it, lovely one? Don’t you want to do more … to earn it?

Let us teach you more then. Come with us, come to bed, where there is much more to offer — and you can taste more than a finger in your mouth.

[livinginsideabookshelf]

A little update

Hey, my lovely friends, it's been awhile.

So, there are no huge or major life updates to be said, unfortunately. But I took a break from reading for a while to focus on studying and working. But I am back!

I re-found my love for reading, with lots of new books and short story collections. So I am here to give a little update on the past few weeks of my reading.

Firstly, I realised I love Japanese literature. I don't know if it's the humour, the style of writing or just the subject matter but I have been loving it. It's also made me want to branch out into other places that I haven't read from before, so that's always exciting. So give me your best recommendations for books that aren't from English-speaking countries, as I want to broaden my horizons.

Secondly, I think short stories are my favourite genre to read. I have realised that I love short form content so I expect to be reading a lot more of them. I really love the concise-ness and also how quickly I can read them. So, give your suggestions for short story recommendations!

So in February so far I have read:

Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

Little Birds by Anais Niin

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston (DNF)

I am currently reading:

Life Ceremony by Sayaka Murata

To be taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (Audio-book)

Aesop's Fables by Aesop

I will give my full reviews for each at the very end of the month! Also if you haven't and want a sneak peak at the scores, follow me on goodreads.

Also from now on, I am only going to be posting my own original content!

[scrawnytreedemon]

Victor Frankenstein and Frustration: a Not-Essay, because I can’t structure for shit.

Alright, I’ll try to keep it as clean and concise as I can, but at the end of the day this is a sorta-heat-in-the-moment thing I’m writing while all the ideas and motivation are in me yet. I will be jumping around alot of topics, as this covers alot of ground, but I can’t say I’ll do it with grace: for this, I apologise.

I’ve noticed a trend in online lit fandom, not just on Tumblr, to condense Victor’s character to something roughly following “arrogant, ineffectual and selfish weenie who failed horribly at parenting, who ought not to be taken seriously in any significant way, largely in-due to his constant whining“ --In other words, a right twat.

And here’s the thing: largely, I agree.

However, what I take issue with, I suppose, is largely how this is all framed.

See, fandom has a tendency to sort characters into boxes, and then pick favourites or bête noires from that selection; this is helpful for the largely memetic(as in, shareable,) nature of online spaces; but where I think this thinking falls short is that it tends to divide casts into More Good or More Evil, with little room for nuance.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Victor Frankenstein, by all accounts, is an incredibly frustrating character to witness; he gets way in over his head, isolates himself from his loved ones, leaving them worried, deems those ambitions failed, hides from them, then when shit starts hitting the fan, he takes initial actions to try and mitigate the consequence, hits a roadblock, either stops their or chooses an even worse option, someone else gets hurt, he whines, rinse and repeat until the final act of the book, as the stakes get higher and higher and his mental state deteriorates more, and more, and more. If you look at this entirely from an outsiders’ perspective, as you, the audience, being subjected to his moaning time and time again, it can wear on you and your sympathies-- Needless to say, I Get It™.

I think, however, it needs be remarked that Victor is also just some guy. 

What I feel is often missed, is that even before Victor goes to university, he has just suffered the loss of his mother, with little time to recover, and that all of this is being told in hindsight, on his deathbed.

When Victor took on, all by himself, at twenty-two years old, not even letting anyone else know what he was up to, the monumental task of creating life, and then finding that life horribly botched, he did not have the perspective that what he created was equivalent to a newborn child-- For all he knew, he might have animated an actual demon. It isn’t until two years later, after the death of his little brother at the hands of said demon, the he’s even remotely made aware of this.

Victor had worn himself out over the course of several months, physically and mentally, to this one task. He was not equipped to deal witht he consequences. I do not say this to downplay the weight of his actions, or the horrible mess of events that come afterwards, but to state perspective. Victor does not have the hindsight we have at the time of this act. I cannot stress this enough. As much as I enjoy Deadbeat Dad Vick jokes, I get the feeling many people actually view the story from this lens, and hold Victor up to that standard.

Then there’s the trial of Justine: a horrible, useless, unneeded and avoidable affair that ends in even more senseless death. This is where alot of people’s sympathy for Victor runs out-- For more than understandable reasons. He failed to act accordingly, to share the information he had, deeming it to be either dismissed instantly or for himself to be put under scrutiny; it’s clear he’s passionate about Justine’s innocence, but he cannot push himself past his fear and doubt, and ultimately, it ends in her death.

It is a horrible, horrible moment, and one that cements the tone of the story from there on out.

These are two key events that largely colour this image of Victor so prevelant online; and it certainly doesn’t help, what with fandom being almost aggressively left-leaning at times, that Victor comes from a place of privilege; he is almost tailor-made to push all the buttons of fandom sensitivities.

Let me elaborate.

A key feature of Victor’s character is his complete and utter inability to ask for help; no matter how dire the situation. Victor feels, that, despite and even because of his incompetence, that it is his cross and his cross alone to bear. Any inolvement from others, such as Clerval when he heads to England, is hesitant and highly discouraged, even when he wants nothing more than to partake in the company of his loved ones, after all he’s been through. While it is also heavily coloured by the anguished sentiment that borders on self-absorption so much of the time, I think it is also worthy to examine this too.

Victor’s tendency to indulge in self-pity and self-loathing is nigh, if not entirely, all-consuming; it pervades the narrative to a painful degree, particularly as it comes from his recollections; it is often exhausting to read through, and nigh unbearable if you already hold a disdane from his previous actions; but here’s the thing I think most people miss,

Victor is depressed.

I don’t mean “ooh, he’s so sad, leave him alone 🥺,“ I mean the guy is fucking depressed, stuck in a constant cycle of attempting to make do but failing, hating himself even more, letting it consume him because he at once feels like he deserves to be consumed and it’s the only thing he can do then and there to soothe to pain as shit gets worse and worse.

Victor Frankenstein’s internal monolgue is a prime example of deep-seated, far-gone depression, and I say this because I myself have experienced and do experience this. Depression is fucking soul-sucking, man; it turns you in on yourself, makes you feel entirely undeserving of love and compassion, leaves you feeling like you must, have to, deal with this entirely by yourself because it is your cross to bear.

Depression is so often self-flagellating and pointless, leaving the subject drained and often largely unable to experience the world outside their own miserable little bubble.

Victor is so wrapped up in this soul-sucking guilt, attempting to fight his own ineffectuality and in doing so only furthering his own ineffectuality, refusing to ask for help, that he ends up putting the ones he’s trying to protect in further danger as he tries to scramble a hodge-podge solution to the problem he created and couldn’t have even begun to forsee its consequences at twenty-two years old. It is a painful, painful example of how if only he reached out, if only he told someone, was honest, all of this could have been avoided, or at least mitigated.

And I think that’s the thing with Victor.

He’s a kind of banal evil-- If such continuous stumbling can even be considered so --He is an example of every day self-isolation and refusal to let anyone else in ballooning to such a degree it ends in distaster.

People are far, far more willing to forgive Adam for his transgressions-- And I say this as someone far more sympathetic to his plight, what with the absolute abandonment he faced at the hands of humanity --Despite their far more horrific consequences; in many ways, they’re attributed to Victor’s failing; which isn’t entirely untrue,

But I have to wonder, if alot of this also comes down to the fact that Victor’s wrongdoings are so human; leaving someone in your care behind; not speaking up in cases of injustice; being self-involved; again, the constant whining. In a way, it’s the sentiment that in stories a horrible person is often far more bearable than an annoying one.

That doesn’t even begin to touch on how much of the bemoaning might largely be and often is directly post-hoc regret colouring all his previous actions. This, above all else, is a cautionary tale to a fellow idealist in the hopes that Robert Walton doesn’t Fuck Up the way he did. Victor stresses his regret and his failings and his misery time and time again because he wants to protect Robert from a similar fate; a fate that ultimately ends in his death.

Victor Frankenstein is a study in frustration; in audience frustration, self-frustration, narrative frustration; it seeps into every corner of the story.

I am not trying to defend Victor Frankenstein as a person; he is flawed; and he’s meant to be flawed. Victor, at the end of the day, is a deconstruction of the Byronic hero-- Of Great and Powerful Men on the Fronteers of History™-- And most importantly, I think, a deconstruction he himself undergoes. Victor eventually alerts someone, a Genevan magistrate, is doubted just as he feared, and then runs off to take revenge into his own hands.

It takes the death of Elizabeth Lavenza to do so.

Victor is a flawed, miserable man, but not an evil one. That doesn’t mean he deserved to have his life crumble around him.

He could have done better. Should have done better.

And he knows this.

His entire arc is about how he knows this.

Victor dies knowing this.

Him being unlikable doesn’t make him a bad character. Him being unlikable is part of the character; and in a meaningful way.

God, I don’t know how to end this. I’ll probably come back and edit this many, many times.

I guess I’m just tired of people flattening characters just because they’re not particularly endearing.

[onef1lm]

binseong as students!

it’s been super long since i wrote smth .. and i miss sepgu alot more since binseong enlisted :’) i hope they’re doing well, and i decided to write this to cheer fantasies up! enjoyy~ 🫶

youngbin

— .. class president ,, OR OR a student leader of some sort, atleast has a position in the student council/board !!

— everyone goes to youngbin for help and though it gets a little overwhelming sometimes, he tries to help them as much as he can

— he’s a good leader and all, but his acads isn’t the best DJSJDK (i think he said so himself that he doesn’t excel really well in school) but he compensates for that with hardwork ofc, and still does averagely well :) i feel like he’s stronger in languages/humanities

— juniors have crushes on him bc he always helps out during orientations, and he’s just really sweet and helpful ╰(*´︶`*)╯

— hates doing logistics. especially when events come up, the council has to work out costs and youngbin will immediately step out. he doesn’t trust himself with calculations he tried calculating some of the costs before and he was way off when someone came to check

inseong

— big brain. need i say more? people think he’s naturally smart and all but it took him alot of diligence and self-discipline to get to where he is. in return, he does his best to help students with acads whenever he’s free!

— set up a mini community within the school for students to come interact with other and help out with acads. smth like a huge study group, just that juniors and seniors are all mixed up.

— super friendly !! alot of people think he’s snobby because he’s 1st in acads but he’s really willing to help. inseong is really easy to talk to, many students like coming to him just to talk :)

— has taught classes before. sometimes the teachers in his class don’t show up, and the relief teacher either is running late/doesn’t teach the subject. inseong then just goes up and takes charge. it’s become a daily thing for his classmates to pray their teachers aren’t present. his lessons are easy to follow, short yet concise.

— besides his role as a really smart dude, he pranks the shit out of people.

[atticsecrets1979]

taken me a while to put together this review despite reading the entire book in four hours. Whilst I'd been hoping for a biography for years on Virginia, this actually made me feel very conflicted upon having read it.

Whilst I'd like to present a balanced and fair review, as there are some good parts, I felt that as a long term fan dissapointed.

In regards to the actual biography, I feel your reaction to this book very dependent on how much you already know about Virginia from the fandoms and the now sadly gone complete vca website. I've personally spent many years on researching Virginia so there were no huge surprises for me and I feel that may be the case for a lot of the members in the group AtticSecrets who have contributed to keeping her legacy alive.

Personally I did love the family annecdotes and memories and the love that was so apparent that her niece Suzanne and her cousin Pat held for her. These anecdotes are fascinating to read and you honestly truly admire Virginia even more having read how much she overcame despite her disabilities.

The production of flowers in the attic is also fascinating to read but unfortunately short, I would have loved to have heard more from those involved in the process but unfortunately many of those are no longer with us who could provide that information. I know, myself included, we all wish to know who exactly were the models used for the iconic stepbacks or even what modelling agency was used?

I personally felt that there is much more research to be done and some was underused particularly the Boston archives material which was donated by Virginia s mother herself, however there may be a copyright issue to why only certain parts were used?

Again, this is why, though understandable that Neiderman was chosen to write this in a way, I feel it would have been better if an actual biographer had taken on this task. I feel more would have been uncovered and resources used for research. It would have also read less like an attempt at a novel and more like an actual biography. Again, it's a fine line from making the subject s story compelling and being completely dry and boring. But his lack of experience in the biography field made for a sometimes confusing, clunky and repetitive read and to get some information such as the true story of Fita and Virginia s accident, the reader was taken down a meandering path of prose.

Reading it, I felt like it was almost a movie pitch, Virginia being cast as Cathy trapped in the attic of her body, watched over and controlled by her domineering mother who fills the role of the grandmother, who s only escape is her imagination and her talent which finally sets her free.

Yes, this is a great analogy and very much true but having it repeated again and again with example s from Flowers in the Attic to show how this is the case felt like it was being spoon fed to the reader.

Sticking with this theme throughout, there is no other possible narrative or point of view to make it seem more balanced - I personally related to Virginia due to her difficulties but could also relate to her mother, who had a child with disabilities and I think that point of view could have been explored slightly more - even a sentence or two to acknowledge the fact that even though she loved her daughter, it could be at times frustrating.

As I've said a biographer or even a dedicated fan or few would have been able to bring so much more to this biography. I totally believe this would have been a lot better and concise had they harnessed Jennifer Completevca  skills, research and expertise in all things vca. There's a reason it was for decades the vca Bible.. And her site is where most of the info "revealed" in this biography was initially found for decades.

I can understand fans frustration as we ve longed for this biography for many many years but unless you aren't aware of Virginia s personal life or the amount of material the fans had found out themselves and shared online, it doesn't give us much more info or actually provide the answers to questions we have. To those who don't know however, this book does contain a wealth of information that is good to have all in one concise place.

I feel that for the fandom however we were promised more than we actually got : For example, V C A s pseudonym - This was supposed to be a big reveal and apart from saying actually V C Andrews was her pseudonym which granted it was , again we all knew that , we also knew Adrienne Vale was another one thanks to complete vca but this isn't mentioned but I was under the impression from all the promotion we were finally going to be told of the one she used for the apparent many article she wrote for pulp fiction magazines etc ? Did I miss it somehow ? I did find it difficult to follow the narrative of the biography coherently as I ve said before.

For me, it felt like it had been written for the nostalgia crowd rather than the actual fandom , if I had read this not having been in the fandom so long, used the complete vca website as my Bible for years, done my own research, been there when Jessica Zinder went to the Boston archives and bought back all the info to us fans and the excitement that bought with this brand new info, if I had just picked up the book having read fita and maybe a few of the others way back in the day and seen this and thought " wow, I remember when, wonder what her life was like" I'd have been satisfied because despite only being eight chapters long there is a wealth of information. Sadly 99% of it , I'd seen before due to being in the fandom so long and knowing where this info originally came from. With the complete vca gone from the internet, there's nothing to confirm it was already online for years. So yes , a casual reader would have been intrigued and thrilled with this biography I'm sure. Even the brand new photos and letters, the majority had been seen before I think of the new photos there was possibly five I hadn't ( some wonderful, some mhm), the same with the letters.

As for the previously unreleased manuscript "The Obsessed" - I know this is apparently a rough draft , unfinished etc, so would not necessarily be like her published works and even Ann Patty did say some of Virginia s earlier stuff was different . However, to me reading it I couldn't shake the feeling and I could be completely wrong that this was more AN s style of writing VCA then Virginia herself. There's a certain tone and style that's different. Plus there's things I've noticed apparent in Virginia s work that she uses that are completely different in the GW ones . I know a lot of people were wondering if before publication that maybe this "new book" would be them trying to pass off AN work and of course I can't say for sure - I don't know, I'd like to think not but there's too much that's off. Not to mention , I don't know if you remember back in the day the short stories that came out regarding her artwork s apparently written by her - that's how it was spun back in the day , however it was totally obvious it wasn't her writing , anyway as time passed and I think it's really difficult to get these now (of course we have them in our files) it changed to "inspired by".

In regards to Ann Patty, it's interesting to see she wrote a particularly scathing review on this biography on good reads. To be honest after reading her memoirs I don't think she was very respectful to Virginia herself in that personally… But yes I would love to know Patty's full opinion - I was trying to recall the other night if she's even mentioned in this new biography and her input into being Virginia's editor would have been interesting, however due to the court case between her and the estate/GW, sadly we fans do not get this.

So, whilst I was personally dissapointed and hoping for more, I do feel there were some gems of info there and that as I've said before to have it all together in a book is great for my personal collection.

I do think a more thorough biography of Virginia is possible, her life story is after all incredible and I feel she was sold short a bit here with just eight chapters and repeated information