#i think its time for them to have their easy fluffy story

[rafyki]

I think that for next YWPB series Prom and Mark should be the main characters with the heart-wrenching dramatic story, and YinWar should have just as much screen time but they're the side couple who get together in like the first three episodes and then spend the rest of the time being silly and in love and helping the other two get their shit together

[heesdreamer]

HALF RETURN

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your small towns yearly fall festival was your biggest pride and joy but getting your friends to help volunteer was nearly impossible. luckily one of them was stupid enough and too secretly inlove with you to help himself from offering.

WC ➩ 15.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Surprise! It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and wrote something that I actually enjoyed but this was a lot of fun to write and hopefully the start of me coming back on here in the future. It’s not my most exciting or hot and heavy piece of work but if you’re looking for a light fluffy small town read then I really hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Happy fall everybody and thanks for your patience and support as always. NOT AT ALL PROOFREAD

The cold bite of fall had always been your favorite time of year, finding it easiest to romanticize both its pros and its cons.

Which was something you did with just about everything and everyone you ever encountered, making them larger than life as a character in your story before they were leaving and their starring chapter was turning the page with them.

So it was your favorite time of year for many reasons, the realistic ones like the fact it was the slowest months of work and you got more paid time off than you probably deserved, but also because it was so terribly romantic in all the sniffly nose and itchy sweater goodness that came along with it.

That’s why it was no surprise to the people around you that you were constantly surrounding yourself with fall activities and hobbies. Your small town didn’t offer much, mainly known for biking through the winding roads of the mountains and the sleek dark concrete that always seemed to be wet because of the constant rainfall. It did, however, have a yearly fall festival that you had been volunteering at since you were in middle school.

You’d always heard people growing up who talked about wanting to get out of your hometown, dreamily describing big cities they’d seen on vacations and how much different the world was past the mountains and trees.

You never felt the longing to escape something this beautiful and rare and while you figured the world outside was as amazing as they described, you preferred where you had grown up. It was quiet and easy to memorize, everybody knew everybody and treated each other like family so nobody stole from others or treated them poorly. It was easy to love and, in your mind, easy to stay in as you grew old and had your own family.

Despite your own strong feelings towards your hometown, your friends probably wanted to escape it more than the average person.

You’d spent more than a few dozen hangouts laying in various basements across old couches and listening to them talk about their dreams, dreams that would take them hundreds of miles away from this town and hundreds of miles away from you.

That didn’t stop you from excitedly rushing over to the assigned hangout house for the weekend, your bike tires going so fast they were kicking up mud onto your bare legs as you pushed your thighs past your limit to peddle.

You were hurriedly hopping off once you caught sight of the familiar house, leaning your bike against the chipped paint on the side of it and quickly kicking off your dirty shoes as you greeted the mother of one of your best friends. She wasn’t at all thrown off by your quick entry or the fact you were disappearing into the basement before she could respond or tell you to clean off your dirty legs, more than used to your group of friends coming and going as the sun set.

The sounds of your pounding footsteps didn’t even grab the attention of the group of people hanging out in the basement, only one looking up to watch you as you stumbled in.

“I have great news.” You announced with a large smile, hands extended towards them to really drive forward the importance of your words .

Jay, one of your lifelong friends and the one who had watched you as you entered, raised his eyebrows in question and sat up slightly, a direct opposite of the others who didn’t even bother to acknowledge you yet.

“Mrs. Potter broke her leg.” You squeaked out the news and clenched your hands into excited fist, your smile only faltering when Sunghoon was turning to look at you with a confused glare and Heeseung stopped plucking at the guitar strings he was tuning to give you a look of bewilderment. The room fell silent and you dropped your hands against your sides in upset.

“I know she can be a bit of a nag but is that really something to celebrate?” Jungwon had an eyebrow cocked as he looked at you finally but you could see a hint of amusement on his face.

You were dramatically groaning and sulking your way over to the couch, flopping down onto the spot next to Jay and failing to fully notice the way he was tensing up for a second and then awkwardly clearing his throat when your leg brushed against his. You wrote it off as him being weary of the mud on your legs getting onto his pants, giving him a quick sorry glance before scooting over a tad.

“Of course I’m not happy about her broken leg.” You shot Jungwon a glare for his purposefully wrong assumption and he gave you a smile, eyebrows raising and hiding behind his bangs for a second. “But since she’s injured, may she heal quickly, that means there’s an open job at the fair.”

The finality of the news drew out immediate reactions from your friends. Presenting in the form of an eye roll from Jungwon as he immediately lost interest in the conversation, a disbelieving laugh from Sunghoon and an apologetic smile from Heeseung.

“Sorry Y/N but I helped you last year.” He was shaking his head and plucking at the strings again, happy he had an excuse and the others didn’t.

“That was six years ago.” You deadpanned at him, remembering all too well considering how terrible of a volunteer the tall boy had been. It wasn’t long before he was being asked to step down by the couple who ran it so his position could be filled by somebody who didn’t let the popcorn machine overflow or hand out free prizes to any kid that sniffled and gave him their best begging puppy eyes.

He just shrugged at your correction and your frown deepened despite the fact you’d already figured they’d say no considering they’d been doing so for almost a decade. You had hoped the guilt from Mrs. Potters injury would have been enough to convince at least one of the four boys.

“You’ve been asking us for all this time and we’ve never accepted. Why not ask Jake from the soccer team, doesn’t he have the hots for you?” Sunghoon was speaking in a bored tone as he relayed the information, not paying enough attention to notice the way you froze up and stared at him in confusion.

“Dude…” Heeseung trailed off as he shot his friend an annoyed stare, stretching out his leg so he could kick the boys knee in a form of scolding.

“Jake likes me?” You sat up straighter and stared at the oldest boy, trusting his word over the other threes. “Like Jake Sim? How long have you guys known about this?”

They exchanged guilty looks between themselves and you turned to look at the boy closest to you for answers instead.

Jay had always been the most mature out of your little group, even when you were all kids pushing each other around on the playground. He seemed like the oldest at times even though Heeseung took that role, strikingly alert and calm when situations caused everyone else to panic. You definitely weren’t the closest though friendship wise considering he wasn’t the biggest talker, more likely to stand in the corner and take small sips of his drink than actually engage in your loud conversations.

You always figured this was because he didn’t have any friends outside of your circle. The other boys had some more casual buddies, take Jake Sim for example, but Jay pretty much stuck to himself if he wasn’t with the four of you.

He had a certain energy that you weren’t used to seeing growing up, something about him being different than the others and that was including you and your friends. Even his look stood out, jet black hair with piercing eyes that only looked more intimidating considering he primarily wore dark clothes and a hint of smudged eyeliner.

Most people in town, and school growing up, found his presence overly intimidating and you’d heard your fair share of whispers about him and your group of friends.

His attempts to be seen as scary and keep people away from him never was turned onto you and you’d dealt with a lot of teasing from the others boy, making fun of Jay for having a soft spot for you or pouting that he let you do things he always refused to do for them. He’d glare at them until they shut up and moved on or he’d offer a soft shrug, followed by a hint of a smile when you giggled lightly at his lack of denial.

That’s why you were turning to face him now with wide and begging eyes, leaning against his side and wrapping your hand around his hoodie clothed arm to make sure his attention was on you, despite the fact it always seemed to be anyways.

“Did you hear Jake saying he likes me Jay?” Your voice was sickeningly sweet and you could hear the other boys groaning in disgust at your attempts to butter up their friend.

It didn’t seem to be working this time considering he was just staring at you with a blank expression, gaze dropping to where your hand was holding him for just a second like he was considering something before he was shrugging softly. You pouted again at his lack of response despite knowing your friend was a man of few words.

“He wouldn’t tell Jay anyways doofus, he knows that he-“ Heeseung was laughing as he started to speak and explain something that was abruptly cut off by Jungwon aggressively chucking the magazine he was flipping through in his direction.

The older boy let out a yelp and held his hands up in surrender. You looked back at Jay confused and waiting for him to fill in the blanks, even more lost when you noticed him glaring at Heeseung with a slightly fearful expression under the anger.

You suddenly remembered you were still holding onto his arm and you gently squeezed it to try and bring his attention for you, grateful it worked when he was awkwardly meeting your gaze again and sighing softly. You cocked an eyebrow in silent conversation as you waited for him to tell you what they were being suspicious about, grateful that in the background Heeseung had started to strum at his guitar again and the other two begun to talk about nonsense.

“Do you think Jake likes me enough to help me with the fair?” Your voice was a low whisper as you stared at him, leaning in slightly and missing the way his jaw clenched at your question.

“You know me and Jake aren’t friends Y/N, I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He was overwhelmingly glad your friends weren’t paying attention anymore because he knew for a fact his voice had taken on that extra sweet tone he only used with you, meeting your volume and also whispering softly despite the fact you both didn’t need to.

You were pouting again and not moving away from his face, so busy in your thoughts you once again failed to notice the way his eyes were dropping down to your pushed out lips that were closer to his than usual.

He knew you were just being dramatic, something you commonly were regardless of the situation, but he couldn’t stand seeing the expression on your face or the disappointment in your eyes. He was taking in a big breathy sigh, getting your attention again as you squeezed his arm and gave him another wide eyed and hopeful look.

“But you don’t need to ask him anyways because I’ll volunteer with you.”

You were breaking out into a wide smile at the same exact time the other boys in the room were making shocked and angry exclamations, being drowned out by your excited shriek, you closed the distance between you and Jay and leapt forward to give him a hug, pressing his back against the armrest of the couch and practically falling into his lap out of excitement.

“Dude what are you talking about? What about band practice?” Sunghoon’s annoyed tone was seeping through your happiness and piercing it with a knife of realization causing you to sit up slightly and look down at Jay in confusion.

“He’s right, what are you going to do about practice?” You were pouting at him again but slightly above him now considering you were still halfway in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. You watched the way his ears were turning red the longer you stayed in that position but you assumed he was just flustered from his plans colliding. “I can ask Jake if you’re busy it’s really no big deal.”

You heard a pained grunt from behind you and turned to see Sunghoon cradling his knee with a hurt expression, you followed his line of sight to see Jungwon glaring viciously at him.

“Sunghoon’s an idiot Y/N don’t listen to him, Jay is completely free to help you out with the fair.” Jungwon had taken on a sickeningly sweet tone and your nose scrunched up in disgust at the sound of it, looking between the four boys suspiciously.

None of them were meeting your gaze full out but you tried to ignore how weird they were all being about the situation, more excitement creeping back up at the confirmation you’d have help with the fair, especially since it was Jay who was miles more mature than the rest of them. You were squeezing him back into a hug with another happy squeal and he returned it weakly, eyeing Jungwon viciously over your shoulder.

——

You’d spend most of the following Monday morning getting ready for the first day of setting up the fair, tightly wrapping your scarf around your neck and settling your ear muffs just loose enough so you’d still be able to hear while avoiding the cold chill as it got later in the day.

Your morning hot chocolate was abandoned on the kitchen sink when you heard the soft bells chiming from outside your house, typically occupied by numerous other louder ringings but you knew who it was immediately judging by its gentle sound.

Looking out your living room window confirmed your suspicions seeing Jay sitting on his bike at the end of your drive way and staring down at his hands. He was picking at his fingers, a habit he’d adapted after the callouses from his guitar started to form more often.

Your fist was banging on the thick glass roughly, a smile on your face building when he jump slightly on his bike seat and looked up towards your direction with a startled expression. You waved at him and his shoulders released a little bit of tension, turning your hand over and fanning it towards you, silently instructing him to come inside.

He was hesitating for a second before you saw him gently lowering his bike down onto your front yard, bouncing in your stride as you went to open the door for him.

“I figured you’d want some cocoa before you were stuck in the cold all day.” You were quickly explaining your invitation inside to him as soon as you swung the wooden door open, he’d barely gotten up the steps and gave you a surprised look before nodding swiftly in agreement and coming inside.

You walked back to the kitchen with him in tow and tried to ignore the weird nervous feeling building in your stomach. You’d been alone with Jay countless times so you hadn’t thought much about it but the more you reflected back on it the more you realized you’d mainly sat in awkward silence for short durations waiting for the others to come back and ease the tension.

Pouring the steaming hot chocolate into a new mug for him, you told yourself to not take it personally.

Jay had always been on the quieter side and you knew it had nothing to do with you, as far as you were concerned. This was confirmed a bit when you glanced over your shoulder to see him awkwardly standing against the wall near the doorway, watching you as you poured the drinks but quickly diverting his attention around the room when you made eye contact.

You laughed softly, handling the hot handles carefully as you turned slowly, nudging your chin towards the living room so he understood where you were heading as you walked past him.

“Thank you again for helping me Jay.” You were speaking in a low voice as you sat on the couch, leaning over to hand him his drink considering he sat an entire cushion away from you. “I know you didn’t necessarily want to.”

He wasn’t responding out loud, just give you a soft nod of his head and looking down at the cup of hot chocolate awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs around the mugs handle and shifting in his spot on the couch. A frown was instinctively forming on your face at his silence and you wondered for a second if you should make up some excuse to free him of his responsibilities, maybe tell him you’d actually found somebody else to help out.

But then he was glancing at you and the corner of his mouth turned up just enough for you to notice and you felt better, a wide grin breaking out on yours.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened suddenly as you remembered something you’d gotten for him as a thank you, quickly telling him you’d be right back and rushing up the stairs to your bedroom, leaving him on the couch.

You returned swiftly with the fabric in your hands to see him sitting tensely in the same spot, waiting to see what you’d gotten so excited about. His eyebrows raised when you approached holding the long string of material and you smiled more at his clear hesitance, sitting directly next to him on the couch and turning to face him.

“What is that thing?” He was questioning in a low tone but you could hear the humor in the question, clearly amused by the monstrosity you were holding.

“I’ve taken up crocheting recently.” You explained to him with a smile, stretching out the clothing in your hands to show him exactly what it was you were gifting him. “I figured I’d make you a scarf so you didn’t get too cold helping me. It even matches mine.”

Your excitement was clear despite the fact it clearly didn’t match your store bought white scarf. The black fabric was lumpy and awkward, random strings sticking out in places they weren’t meant to be and barely forming a straight enough line to properly be a scarf.

Jay couldn’t have cared less about how the gift looked, he was flushed in the face just due to the fact you’d chosen to make him it in the first place. He figured you would have done it for whoever agreed to help you and he imagined you’d be gifting them all a lot of hand made things if the hobby managed to actually stick, but your smile when you shifted towards him more and indicated you wanted to put it on him was a gift enough in itself.

He watched your face closely as you delicately wrapped it around his neck, crossing the ends so it wouldn’t slip off easily or open up.

You were meeting his gaze for half a second and giving him a proud smile before a bright flash from the side of you was startling you both, jumping away from each other and widening the distance you hadn’t even realized was closing. You turned your head quickly to see what had made the interruption and a low groan pushed past your lips when you saw your mother standing there with her polaroid camera.

“I’m sorry! You two just looked so cute matching together.” She was giving you a sheepish grin as she poked her head out from behind the blocky camera, eyes teasing and glancing between both of you.

You glanced at Jay to see he had completely tensed up again, jaw tight as he avoided looking at you and stared towards your mother before going back to picking at his rough hands.

She wasn’t exactly wrong about the two of you matching, the scarves being the main point of focus but it didn’t help that Jay was wearing his typical head to two black clothing and you’d gone for a lightly colored white and tan pallet today, so perfectly opposite it almost looked intentional.

“It’s nice to see you as always Jay, it’s been a while since you’ve come around.” Your mothers tone was sweet as she spoke to him but you could see the curiosity on her face, causing you to quickly stand from the couch and butt in.

“Thanks mom but we really have to get going, can’t be late on the first day.” You gave her a tight smile and instinctively reached your hand backwards for Jay to take it.

It was left empty for a few seconds and you glanced over your shoulder to see him staring at it with confusion before he was setting his untouched mug down and clasping his rough hand in yours. You tugged him forward and he made a small shocked noise as you dragged him out of the house, listening to your mom call out wishing the two of you good luck with the fair.

You both stayed silent as he picked his bike up from off the wet grass and waited for you to unlock yours, your hands moving fast to switch the numbers and remove it from the rickety old piece of wood your mother called a handrail despite barely being stable enough for a twig to lean on it let alone a human.

Suddenly you felt an emotion you rarely did, embarrassment flooding through you as your neck got hotter and hotter under your scarf.

You found yourself wondering what Jay thought of the state of your house even though all the boys had been there over a dozen times and you’d never once considered picking up the messes your mom made in a rush or raking the pile of leaves and twigs surrounding your old porch.

Almost everyone in town was around the same class in terms of wealth and status, with the small exception of families like Heeseung’s who could afford weekly maintenance on their yards and a fully finished basement with little risk of flooding, but he was very generous with his extra space and would slyly cover lunches and treats without making a big deal about it.

You’d surprisingly never been to Jay’s house and you weren’t sure the other boys had been either.

He always insisted on walking home or being dropped off in the center of town claiming he had a ride on the way without giving too much information. You’d see Sunghoon, who was your usual driver, push it a few times but the uncomfortable look on the older boys face made you take a mental note to not pry for more details yourself.

You sighed when the lock finally popped up and glanced up just enough to see him still watching you patiently, not bothering to make snide remarks about your speed or rush you like your other friends might’ve.

“Sorry about my mom.” You started speaking once you pushed your bike over to where he was standing with his, both of you rolling them out of the driveway and down onto the empty street. The potholes were full of the brown rain water and specs of gravel here and there made it a bit risky to go too fast on your bike but you mounted it anyways.

He didn’t reply directly other than a shake of his head that indicated he saw no issue with it but the silence was killing you and you waited until his bike was steadily riding next to yours before speaking again.

“She’s just so overbearing sometimes and it’s totally embarrassing oh don’t worry she won’t do anything with that photo, I’m not even sure the camera fully works I think it’s just for the effect.” You were definitely rambling but it wasn’t out of character for you to be filling silence with nonsense and excited monologues.

“Your mom is nice.” He was talking suddenly and it indirectly cut off your next stream of verbal thoughts, surprised at the fact he had actually added to the conversation instead of just giving you soft nods and listening. “Atleast from what I can tell.”

You were staring at him with your mouth parted but only for a few seconds so you didn’t run into anything, nodding your head and swapping roles as you fell silent. You ignored the urge to ask about his own mother and turned a corner a little too sharply, thankfully not enough to fall into the dirty street but it still brought a small laugh out of him and you smiled in response.

“It’ll be really easy on the first day.” It was better to switch the line of conversation to something less invasive so you could avoid embarrassing yourself further and he went back to nodding as you spoke, riding slightly in front of you with his hands tightening and unclenching around the handle bars.

You mentally decided you’d learn how to make knitted gloves next.

——

The day thankfully went as simply as you had promised it would considering there wasn’t too much to do yet with the booths just starting to get set up as vendors picked their locations for the year and unpacked their truckloads of goodies.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you dragged Jay around, equally as happy about the fair finally happening and the fact you’d managed to have a friend to share it with after so many years of having to keep the excitement to yourself.

Jay was a very good sport about the muddy grass and the chaotic setting of the field that was always used, much more patient with you and your high energy than the other boys would’ve been. You kept your hand locked around his elbow as you pulled him from vendor to vendor, introducing each familiar face to him and giving him a quick rundown on what they sold and where they came from.

You loved the fair so much because it meant you got to see new faces and hear stories about the towns neighboring yours for once, a large amount of the attendees coming from other places to promote their small businesses. The vending was a small part of the entire celebration but it was your personal favorite.

“This booth is the best.” You were leaning a bit closer to him so none of the others heard you and took offense to your bias and he glanced at you from the side of his eye. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Jay shifted in place as you both studied the half set up booth full of custom made jewelry with shiny metal clasps and crystals you’d never even heard of let alone actually got to see in person.

“She makes all of these herself?” His voice had taken on the same whisper as yours had and you nodded as you followed his line of sight to see the owner of the booth, an older woman who was hanging up a sign with shaky hands and furrowed eyebrows.

Your hand was falling against your side as Jay moved forward and it lost its place on his arm, a frown forming on your face for just a few seconds before a smile replaced it as you realized what he was doing.

His voice was low and gentle as he spoke to her so you couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but she made an appreciative noise and handed the sign over to him so he could help her get it in place, her less shaky hands patting him on the shoulder thankfully once he was finished.

You took a step or two closer which was enough to get his attention and he looked up at you swiftly, eyes widening a bit like he only just now realized he’d left you standing there instinctively.

Surprisingly he was coming back to your side and bending his arm enough to indicate you could hold it again, something you quickly did even if your cheeks flushed a little at the realization you’d been holding onto him the entire day without really even noticing that wasn’t something you typically did.

“How lovely.” The vendor was practically cooing at the sight of you and your mouth dropped open at the implication of both your stance and your matching scarves. “What a kind young man, you’re a lucky lady.”

Jay made a noise that could only be described as strangled and you would have laughed at him if it wasn’t for the bashful look on the woman’s face, clearly regretting her words and assumption because of his reaction.

“I am, aren’t I?” You were giving her a sweet smile before gently patting his arm and watching the side of his face to further bask in his embarrassment.

You could hear her laughing in relief and delight at the sight of the two of you but you were more focused on how red Jay was turning and the way he was intensely attempting to not look at you. You grinned harder before waving goodbye to her and tugging him along, causing him to let out another distressed sound.

“What was that?” He was shocking you by speaking up and questioning your motives but you only laughed at the serious tone he’d taken and continued walking.

“I mean she’s not entirely wrong. I’d say I’m very lucky.” You tilted to the side to bump against him and he let out a scoffed laugh that made your smile grow, pleased you’d gotten him to loosen up a little bit.

You’d taken him a little past the vendors now so the buzz of the moving people and trucks had quieted down, instead being replaced by the clucks of chicken and the soft noises the cows in the barn were making.

The sight of a farm wasn’t uncommon where you lived but this one was particularly amazing to you considering the sheer size of it, making it the perfect space to host the crowds and heavy machinery that came along with the fairs open weekend. The large field would soon be filled with food trucks and a ferris wheel standing taller than the trees surrounding you, children running with caramel apples and a petting zoo full of the same animals in the red barn behind you.

“It’s really something.” Jay was filling the silence and you snapped out of your envisioning to glance at him, finding him also looking out into the field and watching the place come to life. “I didn’t realize how different it would be from just attending.”

“Atleast you don’t find it as boring as the others do.” You’d stopped walking by now in favor of leaning against a large pile of hay stacks and people watching, not surprised that he remained upright and stoic instead of joining you. “I’m really thankful you decided to help me this year even though you’d miss band practice.”

His head snapped over to you in shock and you laughed at the slightly panicked expression, shrugging your shoulders and picking at some of the loose straws of hay underneath you.

“Jungwon wasn’t exactly subtle but I’m grateful nonetheless.” You were standing back up at that and wiping the back of your pants to get the dust off of the fabric, looking back up at him and slightly squinting your eyes against the sun. “You’re a good friend.”

He was scratching the back of his neck and shifting his foot again awkwardly at the compliment but you were glad to see him nod in light acceptance.

“Wanna get some hot chocolate?”

——

A week continued on just like that with Jay arriving to your house a few hours before dinner time and the two of you riding to the field together, your voice overly filling the silence with his light hums and brief comments reassuring you that he was still actively listening.

Jay was providing more than just company, actually assisting you when it was finally time to start helping you and doing the volunteer work your other friends were so eagerly avoiding.

He was lifting heavy slates of wood without being asked twice and waiting for further instruction as you added a fresh coat of bright red paint to the apple bobbing booth. You knew you’d made the right choice with having him help (although your options were limited) and the other regular volunteers seemed to agree.

“Didn’t realize you were into strong guys.” The voice suddenly in your ear was making you jump and nearly spill your apple cider, glaring at the person joining you for the shock even though you were instinctively leaning closer to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You were mumbling around the styrofoam cup and she laughed mockingly at you, knowing you long enough to see through your indifference.

Cindy was twice your age but you’d gotten along from the moment you eagerly offered to volunteer, her parents being the founders of the fair in the first place which made her the rightful owner once they had passed away a few years ago.

She got on your case regarding just about everything but the tough love was a breath of fresh air considering the type of overbearing and coddling affection you were used to from your mother. It was almost your worst nightmare for her to catch you watching Jay as he helped the other male volunteers move logs and heaps of old wood away from where the mini rides would be installed.

“Honey I know heart eyes when I see them and yours are practically bursting out of your thick skull.” Her hand was reaching over to try to steal a piece of your warm pumpkin donut sat infront of you and you aggressively swatted at it with a scowl.

“He’s my friend. I’ve known him since I was like basically a baby.” You were trying to keep your tone flat and unsuspecting even though you weren’t even quite sure why you suddenly felt on trial.

You weren’t even purposefully eyeballing Jay or whatever she had called it but he just so happened to be directly in your line of sight and coincidentally he had removed his zip up at some point, most likely needing the cold chill because of all the heavy lifting he was doing with a surprise ease.

“Well he’s definitely not a baby anymore.” She made a small appreciative noise and you turned to her with your nose turned up in disgust, taking a moment to soak in her typically eccentric outfit.

Cindy was definitely one of the most interesting people in your town aesthetic wise, big chunky earrings being used as decorations in her large unkept hair and layers and layers of jarringly opposing patterns and fabrics. It somehow worked on her and you always loved the fact she looked like a little halloween trinket come to life.

“That’s disgusting, you could be his mother you know.” Your eyebrows were furrowed but she knew better than to take your annoyance serious, shrugging her shoulders and directing your attention back to the topic of the conversation with a ring covered hand.

“He watches you about as much as you watch him.” She had the same tone she always had when she felt like she was proving you wrong and in this case, she was. Jay was eyeing the two of you as you spoke but trying his best not to make it obvious, getting distracted enough to trip over a log and nearly crash into one of the bigger burlier men working.

He was far enough away that you couldn’t hear the interaction but you laughed at the glare he received and the way he threw both of his hands up in surrender, backing away and giving you a quick embarrassed glance before picking up the log he tripped over.

“Oh what a mess that boy is.” She was successfully stealing the rest of your donut and you sighed in defeat, leaning against her more and letting her signature vanilla scent hit you full force. “Doesn’t speak much does he.”

“You talked to him?” You didn’t quite understand why that peaked your interest so much but she chuckled at the eagerness in your question, nodding her head and chewing the soft donut for a few seconds before answering.

“He came over to old Betsy’s booth when she was using the restroom and I was filling in for her.” She seemed to miss the irony in her calling somebody around her age old and you didn’t dare point it out to her. “Kept eyeing the necklaces.”

You couldn’t think of a time Jay would’ve gone back to the jewelry stand without you and your eyes narrowed further.

“Well did he buy anything?”

“Don’t remember.” She hummed the words so casually but you knew better than to believe her, sitting up off her shoulder and turning your body so you could fully face her with a stern look. Your normally bubbly exterior was easier to lose than you usually preferred around your strange friend but you assumed it was because she never once minded you on your grumpiest days.

“You so totally remember.” Your finger raised accusingly and she glanced at it with a quirked eyebrow, her large red hexagon framed glasses almost blocking her amused expression. “Cindy what did he buy?”

You assumed she was going to make another excuse to not answer you directly but the universe, in all it’s twisted ways, actually offered a real one in the form of one of the senior volunteers calling for her attention and waving at you before urgently fanning her over.

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere.” The air of mischief surrounding her had intensified as your own lighthearted annoyance followed suit and you rolled your eyes as she glanced back out into the field. “You’ve got better company incoming anyways.”

She was gone just in time for Jay to reach the two of you and he watched her back for a few seconds as she strolled away, a silent question floating around his furrowed eyebrows as if he was worried he was the reason she’d left so suddenly.

Your friend typically had an anxious energy surrounding him but it bothered you more so right now so you cleared your throat to get his attention and smiled when he finally gave it, patting the spot Cindy had just left empty and not scooting over when he jumped into a start and walked around the table to sit next to you.

“I heard you’ve met Cindy.” You nudged him with your elbow and he titled his head to grin at you in the most genuine way you’d seen from him in all your years of companionship, eyes squinting against the sun as it slowly set with a certain lightness you quite enjoyed. You figured the hard work had made him too tired to keep his guard as high as usual and you briefly considered asking the volunteers to give him more logs to move.

“She’s a character.” He took a second to form the sentence and it came out in slow patches like he was trying to find the nicest word to describe her eccentric ways. Your mouth was opening to inform him it was okay to be offput by her before he was talking again. “She reminds me of you actually.”

That shut you up and you felt a sudden unnecessary guilt for not immediately knowing if he was complimenting you or doing the opposite.

You hadn’t even noticed you were leaning against him again until he stiffened up at your unusual reaction, an apologetic look on his face making you feel even worse. It was beginning to frustrate you that you couldn’t stop embarrassing yourself in front of him, the ability beyond foreign and not something you’d ever even considered before.

His hand was cold when you reached out to place yours over it, not exactly holding but just letting your palm rest on top of his knuckles.

“I’m glad actually. I think she’s probably the most interesting person on earth.” You were watching his reaction to both your statement and the touch before forfeiting first and looking past him in the direction she’d gone.

“I doubt that.” He sounded strangely heavy and it was a tone unlike any you’d heard from him, immediately bringing your gaze back to his face in an attempt to decipher it.

Jay remained as stoic as he usually was and you were suddenly glad for the lowered sun, hoping the lack of lighting in the field managed to hide the light dusting of your cheeks.

——

It was almost refreshing to be back in the basement with the rest of your friends, not having any type of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach since Jay currently wasn’t here and for the first time in two weeks you weren’t having to overthink why you were feeling so weird.

Even though the other boys were trying their best to make you as awkward as possible, all staring at you with questioning eyes after Jungwon asked how it’d been volunteering this year.

“It’s fine.” You knew as soon as you gave a vauge answer that they were going to get suspicious, your eyes slowly closing in regret as they got an excited buzz to them and immediately hounded in on you like a pack of dogs (or over enthusiastic kittens).

“This is the first time since we were preteens you’ve talked about the fair and not went on for hours.” Even Sunghoon was being unusually perceptive and leaning forward on the edge of his arm chair.

“Can you guys not be super annoying about this?” You winced as you said it, already prepared for how rowdy they’d get at the admittance that there was something to be annoying about in the first place.

Not even Heeseung was exempt from the almost childlike giddiness they all had now and you rolled your eyes at the way they were all smacking eachother and overlapping sentences of ‘I told you so’ adjacent statements.

Luckily you were saved by the sound of Heeseung’s mom calling your name from the top of the stairs, shouting it a few times to try and outmatch the volume of all the boys talking at once. You managed to hear her exasperated tone beneath it and you left them to their theatrics without another word, finding her standing in the kitchen with the phone in her hand and an impatient look on her face.

You glanced at her apologetic before taking the phone from her and waiting until she was back at the table doing her crosswords before you actually put it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You knew it wasn’t likely to be your own mother calling about your whereabouts considering she ever rarely actually did, trusting you and knowing you were an adult who didn’t need checking in when you were usually only ever at a handful of places.

“Y/N?” Jays voice coming through the speaker was enough to make your stomach form a tight knot, not even fully processing the breathy and shaky way he was speaking before understanding something was wrong.

“Where are you?” You weren’t sure why it was the first thing you thought to ask him and he took a few painful seconds to even answer, your hand tugging at the chord connected to the wall anxiously as you waiting for his voice to come back and let you know he was still on the other end.

He was hushed when he muttered the address too and you felt little to no guilt about rushing out of the house without saying goodbye to the boys, formality and patience totally fleeing your mind as you picked up your bike off the side of the house and took off down Heeseung’s long smooth drive away.

Your thighs were burning as you made your way across town to the rundown area Jay had given an address for, heart racing in a similar pace to the buzzing in your ears that had started as soon as you were hanging up the phone.

The sun was setting now and you knew it was only a matter of time before your mother started to wonder why you were gone far past dinner but you couldn’t even begin to think about that or your friends realizing you weren’t coming back down or Cindy checking her jeweled watch when you didn’t show up for your usual hot donut before volunteering.

Nothing else was currently even a drop more important than Jay and the way he rushed out the address, one you didn’t even need an explanation for to understand what it was. The hesitance in the delivery told you exactly where you were heading and that was only part of the reason you felt sick as you rounded the corner sharply into the barren seeming neighborhood.

The houses with boarded windows and bright red ripped notices on the doors would’ve led you to assume the place was abandoned if it wasn’t for the mass of bright lights coming from the house on the end of the street.

You forfeited your bike in the middle of the road in exchange for running and you skidded to a stop when you realized you’d managed to completely sprint past Jay, not noticing him considering the way he was practically hunched in on himself and missing his usual stoic expression as he stood under a large overgrown tree.

Instead his face was an eerie combination of absent and horrified, gaze meeting your wide eyes but leaving you with the terrible feeling he was looking straight through you.

“What happened?” Your voice seemed to echo and his face was red and blue from the lights behind your tensed shoulders, your hands being painted with the same shades when you were reaching up to cup his cold cheeks.

He had the scarf you’d made for him around his neck and your heart ached at the idea he might’ve been on his way to meet up with you before whatever had occurred did. Your thumb brushed over its bumpy fabric when it smoothed over his skin and he practically leaned into it despite your friend’s usual disinterest towards physical touch.

“Can we go somewhere else?” It took you a few breaths to even realize he’d been the one to speak and you nodded instinctively, staying frozen even when he stood up and by default placed himself directly infront of you.

Your boot bumped against his shoe when you went to take a step back and he quickly looked away from the house and continuously flashing sirens.

You were wondering if it was a good idea to leave or if he still was needed by the officers scattered throughout the yard and near the patrol cars, sparing them a glance over your shoulder as you started to follow him. You didn’t meet any of their eyes enough to understand what you should do but there was no way you were going to leave Jay alone so you sighed and followed after him.

He was leading you around the back of the house where you could see a tilted garage and a bunch of shrubbery, almost enough to be completely hiding the car underneath it all.

Jay didn’t look at you once as he started to pull twigs and piles of bushes off the hood and windshield, failing to realize the way you were hugging yourself now to fend off the cold and anxiously peering back around the side of the house as you waited for somebody to come and try to stop you from leaving. Nobody came and eventually he was stopping to take a harsh breath before opening the door and looking at you expectantly.

Despite your nerves, you still followed suit and climbed into the old car. The air was stuffy and you could almost taste how long it’d been since it was put to any use especially obvious with all of the dust lining the dashboard and creating a fine film over the cup holders and stick shift that Jay was wrapping his hand around without a second thought.

“I didn’t know you had a car.” Your voice was filling the car only after you’d been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes, leaving the town limit a few blocks ago and entering a long stretch of road you’d never been down before.

It was true considering there had been over a few dozen times everybody had complained about the lack of cars in the group, instances where you’d had to cancel plans because it just wasn’t manageable with your bikes. Even Heeseung didn’t have a license even though his mom was always telling him he’d have access to the family van sitting in the garage if he just took the road test.

You didn’t miss the fact that there was a lot you didn’t know about Jay, clearly more than you even realized considering how confused you were tonight by all the missing pieces.

“It was my dad’s.” He was finally glancing over at you but his tone of voice let you know this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about further, nodding your head in understanding and watching him as the trees grew larger around you and the road twisted and turned.

“Are you feeling okay?” You didn’t really know what to ask him considering how little you knew about the situation but he was still nodding slowly and it looked genuine from what you could tell.

You decided it was best to just stay silence so you didn’t accidentally say the wrong thing and Jay took a deep breath before doing the same thing, neither one of you speaking for the next thirty minutes as he drove and stared ahead at the road.

You opted for looking out the window at the large stretches of land and water, roads now slick and shiny with the rain that had been falling during your drive and making the night even more gloomy than it already was. You hoped your mom had seen the weather and assumed you were staying with a friend tonight instead of riding your bike home, your stomach turning a bit at the idea of her calling around to try to make sure you were safe.

Heeseung or one of the other boys knew to cover for you if she called his phone, repeating the practiced line that you had fallen asleep on the couch and forgotten to check in with her beforehand.

But then the worry would land with them and that thought made you frown too.

You weren’t yet regretting following Jay but you hoped you’d get to where you were going soon, suddenly wondering if he even had a destination in mind or if he was just going to keep driving forever and ever.

It didn’t take long to get your answer considering he was pulling into an empty parking lot sitting above a small hill that led down to what you assumed was a dark beach, a cold chill from the water filling the car once he turned it off and the low rattle of the engine disappeared.

He was just sitting there in the drivers seat with a faraway look on his face, picking mindlessly on the callouses covering his hands like he always did.

You were suddenly remembering what was the cause of the lump in your coat pocket, sitting up a bit and reaching your hand inside until it wrapped around the soft fabric you’d been molding for the past two weeks.

Jay was already watching you curiously and his eyes flickered up to yours when he realized what he was you were now holding and presenting out to him across the center console, a hopeful look on your face as you nudged it in his direction.

“You made these?” His question had an obvious answer but you had a feeling he just wanted to hear you say it.

“They match your scarf.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal even though you’d gone through an entire roll of fluffy yarn to make the small pair of gloves, messing up the instructions from your old crocheting book numerous times before you finally got them to a functional point.

Your heart was filling with pride when he was pulling them on and flexing his finger inside, seemingly fitting thankfully considering all you had to go off of for sizing was the amount of time you’ve stared at his hands playing guitar.

“They’re perfect.” He looked so sincere and thankful that it threw you for a few seconds, your eyes widening as you nodded your head and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you seriously.”

“It’s no problem. Did you want to get out?” The intensity suddenly filling the air was making your cheeks flush and you wanted nothing more than to be out of the old car, even if it met facing the cold chill waiting for you outside.

He seemed like he was considering it for a few seconds before he was opening his door and stepping out, making his way over to your side before you could process how fast he left and you faltered when he was opening your door for you.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to take your delayed reaction to heart and you were scrambling out before another awkward second passed by, feeling even more grateful when he was unexpectedly bending his arm and letting you wrap your hands around it like you would at the fair.

It brought a level of comfort to you that you hadn’t begun to understand fully but you welcomed it all the same, walking closely to him as you left the parking lot and the hard concrete under your feet turned into wet feeling sand that slowed your pace down automatically.

The beach was fogged over from the cold weather and you could barely see the water due to the darkness now completely surrounding you, relying solely on the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to let you know you were getting too close.

You and Jay walked in silence like that for a few minutes, alongside the water but far enough that it was only barely touching the sides of your boots whenever the waves rolled over and spread out into the sand.

He was eventually pausing in his stride and you glanced at the side of his face expectantly, seeing that same blank look he had when sitting in the car and feeling your heart tighten with the urge to help him any way you could. You weren’t even sure where to begin but it felt right to slowly sit down onto the sand, holding his arm loose enough that he could feel you moving before you tugged him down too.

You smiled a bit when he sat quickly beside you and you warmed even though the floor was cold and damp underneath you.

You decided to keep holding onto his arm even though you weren’t walking anymore and that left you practically hugging his side while you sat facing him with his own gaze towards the water, your legs pressed up against his and his glove covered hands crossed over his stomach cautiously.

There’d been dozen of instances where you had to sit in close proximity to Jay but never once had you experienced one where you were having to silently tell your heart to calm itself incase he could feel it beating out of control.

“Are you alright?” You couldn’t physically take the silence in the air anymore and he looked at you as you spoke.

His gaze was heavy but as kind as it always was when situated on, a tiredness to him that you weren’t used to seeing. You squeezed his arm and they softened even further while his head tilt to the side at your affectionate gesture.

“I’m sorry I took you all the way out here. I wasn’t really sure where else to go so I just drove.” He was quiet as he spoke and you almost didn’t hear him over the crashing waves.

You suddenly felt a twinge of guilt for being so skeptical about following him into the car and allowing him to leave the limits of your town.

“I don’t mind, it’s a beautiful place.” You heard the irony of the statement at the same time amusement passed over his face, both of you knowing it was far too dark for you to visually appreciate the beach. “It’s cool you can drive.”

He actually did laugh at that, a light one closer resembling a scoff but it seemed genuine nonetheless. You didn’t expect an explanation for him keeping his ability a secret and he didn’t offer one.

You fell into another lapse of silence but you found more comfort than awkwardness in this one, enjoying the closeness of the moment and trying to put yourself into his mind for a second.

Jay was all you could see with how low the light was, just the side view of his face that you’d been accustomed to for such a large part of your life that it was almost odd to be feeling so overwhelmed by the sight of him. It definitely wasn’t the time to be trying to understand why you had been feeling so off kilter around him these days but you knew the clock was clicking for you to figure it out.

His jaw was tense like it got whenever the boys got too rowdy in public or the times in high school when people would whisper in the halls as your small group passed.

It wasn’t a secret that Jay had a certain protective nature surrounding him but your silent friend had never looked as bothered as he did right now.

You were wrestling with yourself in your own mind and trying to shake the idea that he was possibly uncomfortable with your sudden clinginess. You had a reminder on a constant loop that he was the one who initiated the small contact almost everytime and his cheeks flushed red almost as much as yours did whenever you squeezed his arm in yours.

“My mom got arrested.” His voice was cutting off your rampant irrelevant thoughts and your mouth parted slightly in surprise from the sudden admission, immediately snapping shut when you noticed him watching you from the side of eye.

“Jay.” You went to speak words of comfort but his lips pursed and his eyes shut for a second like he was pained so you swallowed your sentence and waited for him.

“It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time or the last.” He was beginning to rush through the words like he didn’t think he could manage to get them all out and you watched him carefully, forgetting the cold weather and the wetness coating the fabric of your pants. “I called you because I knew seeing you would make me feel better but I don’t really need to talk about it or anything.”

“Then we don’t have to talk about it.” Your voice was firmer than usual and his shoulders relaxed.

You weren’t even thinking when your hand was reaching up to touch his face, turning his head towards your direction so he didn’t really have a choice but to look at you.

Your hands were undoubtedly freezing against his skin but you still took the opportunity to absentmindedly rub your thumb against his cheek and jaw, observing the way he almost melted into the touch with something close to pain in his expression.

This was nothing like the arm holding or the hands brushing when you passed him a paintbrush, crossing over the line of things you could fit in the category of your newly developed friendship without the connection of the group. This was something else entirely and you chose not to place it anywhere for now, letting it exist here on the beach without the weight in your chest following along.

“Did it make you feel better?” Your voice was almost a whisper but you had no doubt he heard you considering how close your faces had gotten now that you made him look at you fully. “Seeing me?”

You knew the answer already when you asked it but you still weren’t prepared for the way he softly nodded while leaning into your touch further, eyes big and puppy like in direct contrast to his usual stern and more feline gaze. Vulnerability had completely taken over his typical stoic attitude and you felt a surge of pride for getting to see him like this.

Jay had been consuming your thoughts since you started hanging out one on one and it felt far too important of a moment to let pass you by.

You barely had to shift yourself forward to be able to kiss him but the slightest sign of you moving spurred him to close the gap instead, pushing his lips against yours and taking you by surprise.

The beach was almost quieter as the two of you kissed softly, the waves sounding like they were further away since all you could focus on was the warmth radiating off of him. You were flushed from how delicate he was with you and how it lacked any real heat considering it was much more of a romantic kiss than you both trying to turn the other on.

He kept his eyes closed when you pulled away from eachother and you rested your forehead against his, watching his expressions closely and not wanting to lean back incase the lack of touch made him reconsider what had happened.

You’d be stupid to not understand Jay had always had a soft spot for you but just because the boys teased him about it didn’t mean he actually felt like you were somebody special. He was a gentleman in all aspects of his interactions so you weren’t certain enough to bet on the fact he had any type of feelings for you that would make him see this kiss the way you did.

“Please don’t regret this tomorrow.” He said it in one quick whisper and your heart twisted at the same time your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I won’t, of course I won’t.” You hoped your voice was firm enough to make him believe you but you could tell by the look on his face that he was still skeptical.

You didn’t know how else to prove it to him besides kissing him again so that’s exactly what you did, hands cupping his face and pulling him into you much more passionately than you had the first time. This go around there was a lot more movement and a soft noise escaped you when you felt his gloved hand on your knee.

It was hard to connect the fact the Jay you were kissing was the same Jay you’ve known almost your entire life. He was the same boy who used to scowl on the swings at the playground and silently pay for your snacks at lunch or hold the door for you when entering Heeseung’s house.

You were almost reverting back through all your platonic memories with him as you kissed and seeing him in a different light than you had before.

This time when you stopped kissing you fully leaned into him until you were practically hugging without having your arms around each other, the sudden longing to just feel him close overwhelming you as you tried to pretend it was simply because of the cold and not because he opened up apart of himself to you tonight and that seemed to be the final piece you needed to understand how you felt.

“We should go, you’re going to catch a cold.” He was speaking again in a far away voice and you would’ve declined and asked for just a few more minutes but he was already standing up.

You suddenly felt the most distant you had in a long time from him and your throat was tightened even when he offered his arm in your direction, the action coming across more robotic now than him actually reaching out for you.

It was hard to not overthink considering he was driving you both home in silence, the hills and forest of the town coming into sight as you left behind the empty stretches of road and sky above the ocean.

For once you found yourself looking out the window with longing as you passed the welcome sign back into where you’d grown up, finally slightly understanding why most people had a hard time coming home after being somewhere else for a change.

You didn’t stop thinking about the beach or the road leading even further away until he was pulling into your driveway, the car making a funny scraping sound as it pushed itself up the slight incline.

Jay sighed softly, the first noise he’d made in a long time that wasn’t covered by the radio commercials and the heat running on high with that loud rattling noise, shutting the car off completely as you both sat there in silence.

“Are you able to go home? If you need somewhere to stay I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind as long as you stayed on the couch.” You were speaking swiftly with your eyes slightly widened and he smiled at you gently even if it didn’t quite seem genuine.

“I’m alright, I’ll figure it out.” His tone held a stubborn finality that you didn’t bother trying to question again even though it hurt your heart to think about him searching for a place to stay.

You almost begged him to just come in and warm up for a bit, maybe use your phone to call some of the boys and ask them if he could go there before he just started to drive around in circles but you decided against it.

Instead you leaned far enough that the middle console was pressing against your stomach and you kissed him softly on his cheek, rubbing the clumpy fabric of his scarf before sitting back in your seat and smiling shakily as you tugged the door open and stepped back out into the cold.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Your head cocked so he understood it was a question you wanted answered and he took a few moments before he was nodding his head and starting the car again, lifting his hand off the steering wheel for a brief second in a wave as you closed the door.

——

Jay didn’t show up the next day but you still stood at the end of your driveway with your bike in your hands for twenty minutes, shifting from the cold and slight embarrassment even though nobody was around to see you left hanging.

You filled your mind with the calming thought that he was just busy and he’d show up any minute panting from rushing over here, or maybe he’d even bring his new car and you wouldn’t have to ride your bikes in the cold anymore.

You’d have a good day setting up the fair and you wouldn’t have any awkward silences about the kiss, infact maybe you’d even kiss again when he dropped you back off at home later.

The thoughts and daydreams only entertained you until half an hour had passed and now you’d officially be late so you had no choice but to flip up your kick stand with your foot and mount your bike with a deep frown.

Even then you still felt guilty about leaving incase Jay showed up late at your house and found out you had left without him.

The rational part of you knew that wasn’t going to happen and if anything he could come to the fair and just meet you there but you could tell from the first hour that he wasn’t going to and he wasn’t anywhere waiting for you to come back. He simply hadn’t shown up and you were beyond stupid for thinking otherwise all morning.

It actually hadn’t even crossed your mind that he wasn’t going to show up.

You ran through the possible scenarios, coped with the inevitable tension in the air and the chance of an extremely awkward conversation where you had to confess your newfound feelings for him.

You’d even practiced over how you were going to say it all morning as you got dressed down to the last word but not once did you think he would simply leave you there alone like a completely fool.

Jay was a lot of things, he was reserved and shut off and maybe a little bit blunt at times but he was certainly never cruel and especially not to you. Your friends seemed to agree considering how appalled they were when you stomped down the steps with wet leaves wrapped around your boots and frowned as you explained what had happened.

“Wait you kissed? You like Jay?” Heeseung seemed utterly confused and you couldn’t tell if he was playing up the surprise or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention to the obvious signs.

“Dude have you even been here? That’s not the problem, what do you mean he didn’t show up?” Sunghoon was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands cupping his face in distress.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him without asking how he felt about me first.” You ignored his question and shook your head as you slouched back into the couch, more upset with your self now than anything else.

All the boys looked around at each other in shock and the air got heavy again like it always seemed to whenever the topic of you and Jay came up. Your eyebrows furrowed into a glare and you settled it onto Jungwon who looked the most guilty, hoping he’d spill whatever it was that they weren’t saying to you.

“Jay is totally into you.” He was letting it out in one breath of air and the other boys collectively rolled their eyes and swatted at your friend. “He has been forever and we all totally make his life hell because of it.”

“Why on earth would you guys do that?” You were practically yelling now even though it was hard to stay mad at them when they all looked so guilty. “Just a few weeks ago you were trying to get me to ask out Jake Sim.”

“We were trying to get him to finally grow a pair and make a move.” Heeseung made you groan at the crude wording but despite your annoyance you actually understood the ways they were trying to help especially since it had actually worked up until you screwed it up by kissing him.

You relayed this thought to them and they looked just as stricken by the fact Jay had not followed up after your kiss as they did the first time you said it.

They did their best to cheer you up with covers of your favorites songs and less argument filled board game rounds but you couldn’t stop the hole in your heart from deepening everytime you thought about it. Your anger towards yourself slowly transferred to him instead as the night went on but even that felt wrong.

Opening night of the fair was finally happening tomorrow and you could barely feel the usual excitement, even when all the boys told you they would be coming to keep you company.

You gave them a soft smile before bidding them goodnight and you truly did appreciate what they were trying to do but it wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

That still didn’t stop you from waking up early the next morning and getting yourself ready, pinning your stray hairs back with cheap pumpkin decorated pins you’d had for a decade and pulling on the new pair of gloves you made (finished off with much neater edges than Jays had been).

The others were going to arrive any moment to accompany you so you sat on the couch finishing your hot chocolate and tapping your feet against the carpet with anticipation, doing all you could to ignore the pit in your stomach so you could still have fun and appreciate all the hard work you and the other volunteers had contributed.

Rough honking from outside made your head pick up expectantly and you set your mug on the coffee table before rushing to the window and smiling brightly when you saw all of your friends waving from inside an old car you didn’t recognize.

It wasn’t until you opened the door that you caught sight of the driver and you faltered a bit, long enough that he had stepped out onto your driveway and waved at you with a sheepish expression.

“Hey Y/N, hope it’s okay that I tag along.” Jake Sim was standing infront of your house and he apparently was one of the few people your age in town that owned a car and even worse, your friends were giving you encouraging looks behind his back.

Heeseung lost his thumbs up when you glared at him through the windshield but you made sure to smile at Jake reassuringly.

“Of course it’s okay Jake, it’s good to see you.” You tugged open the passenger seat door and tugged at Heeseung’s hoodie until he was groaning and unbuckling, squeezing into the backseat with the others and allowing you to be in the front.

You let the boys talk loudly and play their music while you sat in silence during the short drive to the field where the fair was being held, finding it harder to ignore the fact somebody was missing when all you could think about what your drive back from the beach.

Jake quietly humming wasn’t enough for you to forget how Jay kept a tight grip on the steering wheel or shifted in his seat at a red light.

The comparison of the two definitely wasn’t fair especially since you were almost positive your friends had begged Jake to give you all a ride under some faux promise that you would find it kind enough to give him a shot. He was always nice to you in school and definitely wasn’t trying anything sleazy now, instead arguing with Jungwon about the speed limits and his backseat driving.

Your heart warmed the second you were approaching the field and you could see the Ferris wheel peaking over the trees, car slowing down to allow the groups of people and large families to cross the street in front of you.

The turn out was probably the biggest you’d seen yet and even your friends were making noises of excitement as they peered out the windows and took in the rows of games and smaller kiddy rides.

“Woah this is awesome.” Jake sounded genuinely amazed from beside you and you glanced back over your shoulder to smile at him. “You guys did a great job.”

You knew he must’ve been referring to the larger group of people who volunteered but you still couldn’t help but think of all the work Jay helped do and how much he contributed this year.

“Thank you Jake.”

——

It was almost like a homecoming as you walked across the field and let the mud build up under your boots, a caramel apple in hand and the other wrapped around Heeseung as he laughed and tried his best to win your group another stuffed animal despite the fact the three boys behind you were holding two each.

“Holy shit.” You couldn’t help but be impressed when he knocked all the pins down again even though you quickly covered your mouth apologetically when the mother of a child near you sent you a sharp glare.

“Here you go madam.” He’d put on a funny proper voice as he handed you the small pink stuffed lamb and you mockingly curtsied at him as he squinted his eyes against the sun and surveyed the area. “Alright going to go attempt to brave the portapotties, wish me luck.”

“Hold your breath.” Jungwon was quick to chirp behind you and you groaned at the imagery, pulling your arm out of Heeseung’s so he could half jog over to the bathrooms and feeling a slight chill run over you at the loss of body heat.

Somebody was clearing their throat from beside you and your eyes widened a bit as you turned to see Jake standing there now, a sheepish expression on his face with his elbow angled at you invitingly. He must’ve picked up on your walking habit by now and you smiled bashfully at him before accepting his arm.

“Are you having a good time?” You started walking together as you spoke quietly, your two friends behind you talking loudly in weird voices as if they were making their animal prizes communicate.

“It’s beautiful.” He actually sounded like he meant it, tone a little breathy as he turned his gaze to the Ferris wheel and nodded appreciably. “I understand why you love it so much.”

You were actually enjoying his company despite the ache in your chest and you were glad he got to tag along with all of you, hoping you’d get the chance to see him with the boys more often including the one you were missing the most right now.

It’d been a few hours into the fair and you knew Jay could come another day by himself if he really wanted to but the thought of him missing opening day and feeling how special it was hit you harder than you wished it would and you were almost antsy for your friends to leave so you could go and mope to Cindy and ask her for some advice.

“Look who I ran into.” Heeseung sounded excited from behind you as he returned from the bathrooms and your eyebrows raised curiously, turning in unison with Jake.

Your mouth dropped open a bit when you saw Jay standing there awkwardly, hands in his pockets and a torn expression on his face that turned into one of confusion when he realized you were linking arms with Jake Sim. He didn’t say anything and neither did the others boys, not at all matching Heeseung’s enthusiasm and instead sending you glances like they weren’t sure what reaction was appropriate.

To make matters worse, Jake clearly wasn’t reading the energy and instead was nudging your side affectionately and giving Jay a wide smile.

“And you thought he wasn’t going to show up.” He didn’t know the history behind the two of you or anything that had happened so you couldn’t really fault him for his embarrassing comment, realizing now he must’ve caught wind of some of the things the boys had said about you not expecting Jay.

The comment was enough to break the tension in the air for something much worse and you watched the boy in question purse his lips and nod his head in bitter understanding, pulling a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck.

“Well this was nice but I’ve gotta go.” He didn’t wait for anybody to say any words of parting and instead he was turning on his heels and leaving.

You scoffed and removed your arm from Jakes gently, stomping away from them to follow behind Jay and trying to ignore the clueless boys confused questioning to your friends about what he had said wrong.

“You’re just going to leave?” You waited until you were closer to the barns to speak even though you were pretty sure he knew you’d been following him. “You don’t have anything you feel like you want to say to me?”

He looked surprisingly calm when he turned around to face you but your anger didn’t settle much even when you saw the hurt and lost expression he had, staring down at you and all of your fury like he thought he deserved it.

“What is there for me to say?” His voice was low and you frowned again at how defeated he seemed, how easy it was for him to end the conversation even though you felt like there was a thousand things being left unsaid. “I don’t want to interrupt your time with Jake.”

You let out a noise that was close to a laugh but without any sign of amusement, anger taking over any type of sadness or confusion you felt about the situation. He wasn’t saying it like he was at all angry at you for being around Jake but that almost made you more upset, seeing how simple it seemed for him to just walk away with no explanation.

“By my time with Jake do you mean the time I’m spending waiting for you to show up knowing you wouldn’t?” Your voice cracked a little as you took a step closer to him. “And when you finally do you’re just going to leave? I mean did the night on the beach just mean nothing to you?”

“The night on the beach?” He was now starting to show a little emotion outside of the almost cowardly demeanor he’d had, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared down at you now that you were closer. “The night you pity kissed me?”

It was almost hard to believe he’d say something like that and even harder to comprehend that he genuinely meant it, he wasn’t attempting to hurt you or being unnecessarily cruel like most people would but instead he actually was going off the notion you’d kissed him out of sympathy.

“How could you think that way?” You tried to soften your tone but you were just so upset about everything and even more so now that the fairs opening day was passing you by and going so poorly.

Jay was just looking at you and you were almost worried he was going to start crying, the pained look not going away even when you were closing the gaps between the two of you and bringing your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into it when your thumb rubbed against his skin again but he didn’t answer your question.

You could feel his hand on your lower back like he was afraid you’d back away prematurely but you had no plans to go anywhere despite being upset with him, you could see how hurt and confused he was and that trumped your own feelings that could be dealt with afterwards.

He had been a constant in your life for as long as you could understand the notion of having a friend but you felt like you were just now seeing him for the first time ever and you were almost embarrassed that you didn’t know how to help him especially since he always seemed to know what to say to you when you were upset.

“You have no idea what you are to me.” He’d lost the helplessness in his voice now that you were touching him and the pained tone was more stemming from your closeness than anything else.

There was nothing you could say to that that would properly convey how you felt about the hushed reassured confession so instead you kissed him.

He was immediate in the way he put his other hand on your back too and pulled you closer to him, turning your head and relishing in how different it felt to kiss him standing up.

Jay made a low noise when your hands moved from his face to his hair and you wanted nothing more than to pull another from him, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip seemingly doing the trick as you felt his hands squeeze your waist instinctively.

You pulled away from the kiss to try and breathe but he was immediately following after your lips and connecting them again which made you decide you didn’t at all mind continuing even if it meant replacing air with the feeling of him against you.

You didn’t even realize you were moving until your feet with tripping over his and your back was hitting what you assumed was the barn, a small laugh leaving your lips even though it was muffled by his moving against you feverishly. Jay was kissing you like he’d never get to do it again but by now you’d caught on to the fact he’d thought about this alot longer than you had.

His hand was leaving your back to stop at your knee, pulling it to the side easily so he could slot his own in between yours and press impossibly closer.

“God you’re everything.” He was breathing heavily as he spoke and you whined a bit at how low his voice had gotten, sounding similar to how it did when he’d get focused on one of their songs or scold the boys for messing around too much.

“Can you stay with me here?” Your own came out surprisingly squeakish and you flushed in embarrassment.

He was nodding softly and your hand left his hair to sit on the back of his neck for a second before you were kissing him one more time quickly, smiling a little when he took a step back after and grabbed your free hand so you’d stumble forward with him.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He said it so casually like you were just two regular people going out and he was a little tardy for a date but you figured you could talk about how the situation hurt you later and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

You were leading him back towards your friends but dropping his hand as you approached, not fully sure you wanted to deal with their teasing and quick comments. Jay was easily understanding what you were implying and he fell back into his silent nature, giving them quick head nods when they expressed excitement over him joining you.

It was beginning to look just like your regular hangouts until you all agreed to head towards the ferris wheel and suddenly Jake was turning towards you with a shy smile and his arm bent in your direction.

You couldn’t fault him for assuming you’d want to continue linking arms now that you were back but your heart clenched for a second knowing who was standing right behind you.

Jay was such a quiet and stoic person that you didn’t necessarily think he’d sit there throwing glares at any guy who tried to speak to you but you were either extremely wrong or the energy of the day had gotten to him because you could feel his arm snaking around your waist just as you turned to see the annoyed expression he had and the harsh way he was watching Jake.

All discreetness was thrown out the window at that and you watched the boy across from you purse his lips in bitter understanding before slowly pulling his arm back against his side.

“Don’t be rude.” You were whispering the scolding words in Jay’s ear but leaning against his side so he knew you were okay with the show of affection even if it had started as possessiveness.

He didn’t say anything in his typical fashion and you tried to ignore how giddy the thought of him being jealous made you. You stayed close to him as you waited in line, listening to your friends joke around as you felt his hand squeezing your side impatiently every few minutes.

It was a no brainer that you’d be sitting next to him when an empty carts started to make their way around the wheel and you smiled softly at Heeseung and Jungwon fighting over who got to sit with Jake, pushing them slightly when the working attendant started to look extra impatient.

Jay glanced at you from the side of his eye before putting a hand forward to signal you to get on first, following behind as you scooted across the metal bench and watched him close the door tightly.

“Are you scared of heights?” Your voice was teasing as you leaned against his side to looked closely at the nervous look on his face. He glared at you lightheartedly and when his eyes didn’t leave your face for a few seconds you realized he was going to kiss you right as he did.

His big hand was cupping your cheek to pull you in closer and the feeling of him moving against you was enough to override the embarrassment of kissing before the ride had even moved you out of view from the crowd.

You practically kissed the entire time your cart slightly jerked forward to allow new people onto the ones under you, slowly lifting you higher and higher as your heart raced.

Kissing Jay was a completely foreign feeling but you felt like you couldn’t stop now that you knew what it was like, finding the low noises your friend made absolutely addicting to the point they were overriding your system and everything you’ve ever thought about him. You never once considered what he would feel like this close to you or how he’d look when you pulled apart to breathe, dark eyes low and hazy and his lip reddening.

“Is this what you expected when you offered to help me paint stables?” You were grinning as you spoke and he brushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Not necessarily but a guy can dream.” He surprised you by joking back and the ride jolted alive suddenly, both of you lurching forward for a second before dissolving in a fit of laughter.

From the top of the ferris wheel you could not only see the fair and all of the work you’d put into it but you could see a large part of your small town, the gravel roads you struggled with your bike on everyday to Heeseung’s and the railroad tracks that led to the side of town you’d found Jay on the night he called you.

Off in the distance you could even make out the long stretch of road where the trees broke away and the sea inevitably began.

Jay was softly calling for your attention once your cart stopped at the very top of the ride, your hair blowing in the light wind as you turned to face him. The sun had nearly set now and he looked particularly handsome when he was lit up by the lights adorning the metal beams under you, that nervous look returning as he shifted his body to face you.

He almost looked as if he was planning to tell you something, maybe even make a speech of some sort but instead he was closing his mouth and reaching into his coat pocket to pass you a small box.

You took it from his glove covered hands and glanced up at him with wide eyes, already having a relatively good idea about what was inside the box. He raised an eyebrow at you as a way to urge you opening it and you quickly untied the soft ribbon keeping it closed, both of you keeping quiet like you were scared to ruin the moment.

Inside, surrounded by shredded wrapping paper to keep it safe, was a beautiful handmade necklace with a golden seashell at the end of the thin chain. You knew right away who had made the piece of jewelry and your eyes filled up with tears as you looked at him.

“Sorry I’m not as crafty as you but I figured I knew somebody who was.” He was trying to joke around to soften the heavy atmosphere but you could see the hesitation on his face as he waited for you to say something. “It’s the right one right? You kept looking at it the first day you brought me here.”

“It’s perfect.” Your voice was breathy and it came out as one word but you knew he understood, his shoulders losing some tension as he shifted closer to you and took the necklace from your shaky hands.

You sniffed a little bit and turned around so you could lift your hair and assist him in putting the necklace on you, getting a full view of the town around you as you did so and barely even noticing the fact the ferris wheel was beginning to move again.

All you could focus on was his cold hands on your neck and the weight of the seashell as it softly fell down in the middle of your collarbones, your heart thumping so hard you worried it woukd shift it from its place.

His apprehension was still obvious when you turned back around to show him how it looked on you but his eyes lit up at the sight of it, meeting your gaze just in time for you to lean in and kiss him again.

[ghxstyfae]

Headcannons of johnnie x strawberry shortcake/ sanrio obsessed reader ! How would their relationship be when they have completely different aesthetics? How does johnnie deal with all the pink???

(Also I love your work sm!!)

Strawberry Shortcake ☆ J.Guilbert

Warnings: n/a

Synopsis: ask

Taglist: @sunflowerleii @dreamcastgirl99

Note: Thankyou so much for the ask Nonnie!! You're the sweetest

You probably met at hot topic accidentally

You was looking for a cinnamonroll plushie and he was filming another shopping video with jake.

You accidentally bump into him and compliment his hair. At first he thinks your just kinda fucking with him

He compliments your outfit too (im thinking something like this, this, or something w these pants)

Jake asks if they can record you and even invites you to film with them for the day, noticing Johnnies immediate crush

You accepts and they film a little introduction for the viewers, and then spend the whole day together, Johnnie being disgustingly adorable w you

You exchange contact info and they walk you to your pink buggy

Johnnies stalking your insta the whole time they walk to Jakes car and getting in the car

Jakes laughing at him the whole way home from how pathetic he was

Constantly stands out when hes sitting on your bed, surrounded by pink blankets and hundreds of fluffy plushies (note)

He knows you lov having fresh flowers, so its routine to buy you a new boquet every saturday. On a couple occasions he got you these sanrio boquets

He likes how easy it is to separate your clothes after a night out (you both throw your things everywhere, but he knows anything dark is his)

When your feeling upset, whiny, or especially your period, hell watch sanrio, strawberry shortcake, monster high, barbie, and even powerpuff girls

Jake has posted pictures to his story, catching the big bad emo curler up with his frilly gf watching Strawbery Shortcake under a pink blankie

He really doesnt mind though

Corruption kink goes brr

All dolled up in pink, pretty and delicate just for him

He would definitely let you tie black bows on his hair, and maybe let you tie one around his 🥜🍆 if u ask nicely

The fans think you guys are adorable

You make videos a lot of baking, shopping, doing your makeup, etc, qne they love when Johnnies helping out (its so adorably out of character)

He loves the pink tho lowkey turns him on

Im sorry its so short sweetheart:( ♡

[awritessomething]

𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 | tadashi hamada x fem!reader

requests

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 | after Tadashi successfully finished building Baymax, there’s a reward in order.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 | 3.3k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | smut, oral (m!receiving), pnv, switch!tadashi, facefucking, public sex (sorta? kinda?), hair pulling, riding, wall fucking, praise kink, some dirty talk, bit of crying, unprotected sex, overstim and dumification, multiple orgasm, pet names like baby and sweet girl, getting caught at the end, fluffy smut(??), non-proofread writing

This is my first story on Tumblr sorry if its not good but feel free to leave any requests! I’ll figure it out eventually

Tadashi Hamada had spent days and nights working in his office at the San Francisco Institute of Technology. His girlfriend had zero interest in science before meeting Tadashi, after that, she was forced into liking it. She was just as smart as him, enrolled in a nearby law school. Still, she spent more of her time spent in Tadashis lab than she did in her own home. He spent all of his time working on his doctor-like robot, Baymax. Baymax could perform over 10,000 medical procedures, so it took an awful long time for Tadashi to figure out how to get him to be able to do that. She had always believed in him, she cheered him on during the hard times and kept him going when things seemed too easy.

They’d been dating for months before Tadashi was finally finished with Baymax. He had put a little couch in his lab so that his girlfriend could sleep as he worked and not feel forced to be awake all the time. It was his cheers of happiness and excitement that woke her up as she felt his hands start to shake her. Her eyes shot open to see him with the biggest grin on his face.

“I finished! Baymax is complete!” Tadashi announced and her jaw dropped in shock. She jumped up onto her feet and just stared at him for a second as he looked like he was about to bounce off of the walls.

“What?!” The girl screamed and he just nodded again, his smile never once dropping even the slightest bit. Seeing his nod of confirmation, she jumped forwards and up into his arms, Tadashi spinning her around. Their hug was tight and just full of excitement. Both of them were just so happy, Tadashi being happy for finishing his very long and time consuming project, and she was happy just because he was happy and she loved him. With his hands still firm on her thighs, she leaned back a little bit to look at him. Her hands cupped his cheeks, squishing them together a little bit. “I’m so proud of you, Tadashi.” She told him and his cheeks turned a rosy pink. Leaning forwards, she peppered kisses all over his face as he laughed and set her down.

“Wanna come back to my place? I know a way we can celebrate.” Tadashi leaned down and gave her a quick kiss but realized what she had just said. They had sex before, multiple times. They just never actually talked about it so he felt that it was weird for him to have said something like that. It wasn’t that she was weirded out by his words, she was just surprised that they came out of his mouth. If there was any sort of sexual talk, it was usually from her and that was still rare. “We dont have to, we can go out to dinner too. Sorry, what do you want to do?” He backtracked so quickly she barely even had a moment to think.

“What? No, no I like the first idea. Why don’t we stay here though?” She put her hands on his chest and pushed him down onto the couch, walking away to lock the door. Once the doors were locked, no one outside could see in, which was good. It took an awful lot of noise to be heard through the walls as well, which would be put to the test. Their friends were in the bigger lab only a few doors away, working on their own things. Tadashi watched as she checked the windows quickly before digging and turning back to him.

“Come on.” He opened up his arms and she smiled, sitting down on his lap and bringing him into a kiss. Tadashis hands found the curve of her waist, latching onto that as she kissed down his neck. Her cold fingers slipped under his shirt, tracing his abs and making him shudder. “Take off my shirt.” Those words were meant to come out as a demand, yet they left in a whine. Tadashi could feel her lips turn up into a smile against his skin while she leaned back to pull off his shirt.

“We just got started, Tadashi. You’re already begging me?” She teased but he shook his head, his confidence being far too high from his achievements to admit to the begging that he let happen by accident. Of course, tonight would be all about him, so she decided to quit the teasing. Tadashi pulled off her shirt with ease, throwing it to the side with his before his hands rushed to unclasp her bra. The black lacy bra was thrown to the side, leaving her a bit disappointed that he hadn’t taken even a second to appreciate it. She quickly forgave him once his mouth latched onto the sensitive skin on her breasts, sucking on it and nipping with his teeth. Her back arched and their chests touched, Tadashis hands finding their way down to her shorts.

“You always spoil me with these little shorts.” He whispered, voice deep in her ear as she let out a breathy moan. “Stand up for me.” She stood immediately and he helped her unbutton them, the piece of clothes falling to the ground. He expected her to sit back down on his lap, to keep her panties as the only thing that she would wear. He expected her to drip right through them and onto his jeans, leaving wet spots that would surely be noticed if anyone saw him. Instead, she dropped to her knees, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down to his ankles. He lifted his feet as she fully removed them, his boxers going right with them. He felt so exposed.

“You’re so hard, I haven’t even done anything yet.” She smiled and leaned forwards, letting his cock press up against her face. It favored length rather than width, being a tad bit longer than the average but keeping it average when it came to width. Still, it was absolutely perfect. Tadashi’s breath hitched seeing her so close to his cock, feeling how her hands ran up his thighs and just got closer to touching it. Once her fingers wrapped around him, he let out a gasp, involuntarily moving his hips up to try and get more. The salty bead of precum was dripping down, threatening to reach her fingers. Instead of letting that happen, she put out her tongue, licking a long stripe right up his cock, licking up that little drop as well.

“Baby- come on… please.” Tadashi put out his hand, running his fingers through her hair. Looking up at him through her lashes, she nodded but backed away. “What are you doing?”

“Stand up.” He did as he was told, standing up and wondering what she wanted him to do next. She reached out and touched both sides of his hips, moving so that her head was against the wall instead of by the couch. Tadashi looked down at her, so confused as to what she wanted him to do. Her hair was tucked neatly behind her ears, a bit nervous to tell him what to do. “Fuck my mouth.” Tadashis jaw dropped, unsure of why she would ask him to do that. She had given him a blowjob before, in fact she had given many, but she had always been in control.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He shook his head and went to step away but her hands remained on his hips, keeping him in place.

“You wont hurt me, and anyways, Baymax is here to help.” She begged, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of Tadashis cock. It was begging to be touched, it’s regular light pink color turned into a raging red. He trusted her to know her limits, but still told her to tap on his thigh three times in a row if she wanted him to stop and twice to slow down. With a bit of hesitance, he agreed. Honestly, he was excited to try something new as long as it was with her, but he just didn’t want to hurt her. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

The moment that she took him in his mouth, all of Tadashis thoughts vanished. His high IQ just disappeared as all he could think about was getting off using her. The first couple of thrusts were nice and slow, very experimental. Tadashi glanced down at her to see her with furrowed brows, looking right back up at him while his cock was stuffed in her mouth.

“Oh fuck…” Tadashi moaned, putting his arm on the wall that he could rest his head on, the other moving down to her head. She felt his long fingers thread into her hair, finding a way to grip onto her head as he grew more confident with his thrusts. His jaw was clenched and the bottom lip sucked under his teeth to try and hold back some of his sounds. All he could hear was the sound of her throat every single time he thrusted into it, he loved how it just took him in.

Every once and a while he would open his eyes and look down at her, and every time he did so, she was staring back up at him. This time he looked down and saw her eyes filled up to the brim with tears as she blinked and one streamed down her cheek. He immediately pulled out of her mouth and was so worried that something had happened and she got hurt.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you? Oh my god I knew this would happen I-“ she cut him off immediately with her begging.

“No, Tadashi, keep going. Please, I need your cock in my mouth.” She cried, reaching out for him. He looked down at her with a shocked expression, not expecting her to like it so much. Still, he accepted and gently slipped it back in, her tongue swirling around him. He was so close now, if she had kept speaking for one more second he might’ve cum right then and there.

His hand found its way back to her hair, head falling back as he pushed her head all the way. The tip of her nose touched his abdomen as she felt tears run down her face once again. He thrusted into her throat while holding her head there. She took it as best as she could, holding onto his legs for a bit of support. It would probably hurt to talk for the next couple of days from how her throat was being used as a fuck toy.

“So- oh my god… so fucking good for me.” Tadashi groaned, fucking himself as deep into her throat as possible. At his praise, she let out a quiet whimper that sent vibrations through his cock. A choked moan left his throat, he no longer knew how to contain himself. His thrusts were getting much messier and his breathing was ragged and quick, he was close. She could barely even breathe at this point, but she held on for as long as she could. With a few more thrusts, he was cumming, trying to pull out of her mouth but being trapped by her hands. He thought of himself as too much of a gentleman to cum in her mouth after being so mean, but apparently it was just like their usual sessions.

“Good job, come on. Are you ok?” Tadashi helped her up from her knees, seeing the little wobble that she had. She nodded, still catching her breath and swallowing the final drop. Sitting her back down on the cough, he went to get her water bottle from the table. He was still rock hard and she laughed at this.

“What are you laughing at?” He rolled his eyes, handing her the water bottle and sitting down next to her. His fingers messed with her nice black panties, wanting to take them off. He stretched the fabric and let it come back with a snap. Her head turned as she set down the bottle, reaching over and smacking him on the head.

“The only person I ever laugh at is you.” She informed him while moving to sit on his lap. Her hand gently stroked his dick while Tadashi struggled to hold eye contact through the pleasure. His cock was still so sensitive, if she put him inside he believed he might explode. “Do you like that?” She had lifted her hips and was positioned right over him, teasing both of them by rubbing him back and forth along her folds.

“I like everything about you.” With that answer, she dropped down onto his cock, taking him balls deep in one quick go. Tadashi’s head fell back and he didn’t have enough of a warning to mute his moan, letting out a deep and guttural groan. His hands flew to her hips, now moving so his nose was in the crook of her neck as he panted.

“Come on, you’re doing so well. Cant you give me just one more?” Her hand moved his face so that she could look at him. She brushed his hair out from his eyes to get a better look as he looked up at her so desperately. Tadashi nodded once he was ready for her to move, and so she did. Her bouncing started off as slow grinds, working up to the merciless riding.

“Shit- slow down! I wont last.” He complained, but he really didn’t want her to slow down at all. She knew his body better than anyone, she knew how to get him to cum in five seconds or how to edge him for five hours.

“I don’t need you to last, I need you to just feel how great you are.” She leaned forwards and brought him into a sloppy kiss, swallowing each other’s moans. They were so loud, someone must’ve heard at this point. “Your cock fills me up so good, Tadashi.” Her moans and praise made his eyes roll to the back of his head, gripping her waist so hard she knew it would bruise. They were supposed to be going to the pool in a few days.

“Yeah? Can anyone else- fuck- make you feel this good?” He choked out and she moaned out a no. Feeling his urges now fully take over, he grabbed onto her hips, pulling her all the way down onto his cock and picking her up. She whimpered quietly, wondering what he was doing. He pulled out and set her down, spinning her to face the wall.

“Tadashi? What are you doing?” She asked but gasped as his hand hit her back, bending her over as her hands reached for the wall. His fingers wandered back into her hair, collecting enough to pull it back into a makeshift ponytail. His other hand moved to her face, sticking two fingers into her mouth that she welcomed and sucked on happily. His thrusts were hard, knocking the air out of her each time that his skin hit hers. The sound of skin slapping was so loud as her moans were muffled. His sounds had turned into deep groans and grunts.

“So fucking good for me… perfect pussy.” He whispered and her eyes rolled back, fists balling up against the wall. He took his hand from her mouth but she kept her lip under her teeth to quiet herself. His newly free hand slipped underneath her, finding her clit to rub at. The second his fingers made contact with her sensitive bundle of nerves, her back arched further and she let out the loudest moan yet.

“Yes- oh fuck! Tadashi!” His name came out almost as a scream. With just a few more thrusts, he felt her walls clench around his cock as her legs shook uncontrollably. It might’ve been the best orgasm that she had ever had, he had to take his fingers from her hair to muffle the screams. Pulling out, he gave her a second to recover before picking her back up, holding her against the wall this time.

“One more, baby. Just give me one more.” Tadashi whispered in her ear as he slipped right back into her with ease. Her legs shook and eyes rolled back just from the feeling of his cock inside of her. She came just from that. “Good job, but you’re gonna need to take a bit more.” Her mind had just completely gone, all she could think about was his cock. With every earth-shattering thrust, her nails dug deeper into his back. Long red marks would be seen all down his perfect skin, everyone would see them at the pool. Neither of them were thinking about that though, not anymore.

“Tada- oh my god.” She couldn’t even say his name fully anymore, any words just coming out as incoherent babbles. He was so close, only needing a little bit more. One of her hands ended the torture on his back and moved up to his hair. The other continued on with the scratching, this one just gave a few hard pulls.

“Come on, I’m so close.” Tadashi groaned, chasing his orgasm with all that he had. She have one last scratch in the exact spot that he needed, also pulling his hair with just the right strands. His legs shook as he pushed himself as deep as he could go inside of her. Long spurts of cum filled her up to the brim, being the cause for her final orgasm. The only word he spoke was her name as he came, holding her close while his hips rolled against hers to get out every last bit.

Pulling out was painful, feeling so sore after such a long and rough session. According to the clock, they’d been going at it for two hours. He kneeled down to watch as his cum leaked out, using one finger to gently push it back in. She was just standing there, scared to try and move.

“Come on sweet girl, lay down.” Tadashi laid her back down on the couch, walking away to grab himself a pair of sweats. He always kept an extra pair of pants. She had covered herself up with a blanket and was ready to drift off to sleep. It was obvious what they had done, the smell in the room along with their clothes scattered along the floor. Tadashi walked over to where his girlfriend was sleeping and was leaning down to give her a kiss when the door burst open.

Standing there was his little brother, Hiro, and his aunt Cass. The sleeping girl woke up and was absolutely horrified to see who was standing there. They all just kind of stared at each other in shock. Tadashi looked around and saw their clothes everywhere, using his foot to move the piles behind him.

“Couldn’t you have knocked? What if I was naked?” He finally spoke the first word and Hiro just sighed and dropped his head. It was the wrong choice of words for the situation that they found themselves in.

“Well, she is.” Aunt Cass pointed out and the girl hid her face under the blankets. “Get dressed, it’s late and dinner is ready. We thought you died so we came over here instead.” She walked away and Hiro followed. He felt absolutely traumatized, also because when Tadashi hadn’t been facing them, both saw the red marks on his back. Cass wanted to make jokes about it but knew better and kept her mouth shut.

Once a few minutes had passed and they both got dressed, they walked out of the room together. Some heads peaked out of the labs and looked at them, making silly faces to show they knew what had just happened as well. Tadashi wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked, feeling her hide her face in his arm. They would never live this down.

[callsign-songbird]

OK, needed a fluffy drabble to follow up that sin. More below the cut!

Biblically accurate König headcannons

Tw: Social anxiety (I tried)

OK, ok, hear me out.

Konig is a big, scary colonel, right? With social anxiety? Omg this man.

This lumbering behemoth wall of muscle and intimidation is the type to reherse and plan what he's going to say for at least a minute or two straight before addressing his squad.

He thinks about the tone he should use, his volume, where to put inflections, how his face should move even beneath his mask, what he'll do with his hands when. And when it comes time to finally speak, he delivers his words with his heart nervously pounding in his chest, which causes his words to come out sharper and more agressive than he intends.

Everyone thinks that he's super intimidating, cold, and angry, but he's really just nervous around crowds and speaking in front of them.

Don't get me wrong, he would be more comfortable in front of his squad compared to a group of soldiers he doesn't know. But that's not saying much.

And it doesn't mean that he's "Shy" or fumbles and trips over his words nervously (even if it's a cute thought)

No, he probably actually appears quite calm, confident, and composed. Even when he's panicking internally.

Strategy and combat are easy to Konig, sometimes easier than breathing. But not standing out in a crowd? With his height? Now, that makes his palms sweat just a bit.

It's useful a lot of the time, sure. But it has its disadvantages. König probably prefers to remain in his office, in the gym, or on one of the training courses; where he doesn't have to think about what he's saying and doing, or how he's saying and doing it. He can focus his mind on something else.

OK, I know this is what you suckers want

But if you were König's person? I have a feeling he would cling very subtly to you. A new squad transfers to your base? König hardly ever leaves your side.

A lot of the time, he would make sure to be touching you in some way, too. You're probably shorter than him, so it wouldn't be irregular for him to rest a hand on your shoulder or against your arm. No one would notice if he stood a little too close and your boots were touching or your shoulder brushed against him.

It wouldn't be hard to read his tells once you pick up on them either.

Whenever he's rehersing how he'll say something in his mind, even if he's in the middle of a conversation outwardly, his eyes become focused on one or two spots while having this unfocused look in them, as if he's only half present.

Whenever he's starting to feel overwhelmed or drained in a crowd (whether he will admit to or realize it or not), he'll usually end up with one hand in his pocket, the other reaching for you or drumming on his thigh.

And as soon as it's just the two of you? Well, you best believe all he wants is to recharge. He likes holding you in his arms with your back against his chest. He loves everything about it.

He loves feeling the rise and fall of your chest, hearing your breathing, hearing your voice. He loves looking down at you and watching as you occupy yourself or relax and melt into him. He could hold you forever, you're his personal portable charger. Just the juice he needs after a stressful day. (Or any day, for that matter.)

Or, maybe you aren't the touchy type and don't really like being held? That's ok, he gets it. Really. He's more than content to simply occupy the same room as you. Your voice seems to make all of his worries go away, watching your lips move is utterly entrancing, and he can't help but get lost in your eyes; whether they're looking at him or something doesn't matter.

Long story short, biblically accurate König rules, and we stan the German chaos himbo. Even when he's not a himbo lol

[rune-rambles-art]

Okay I have to yell about Koleda Belobog Zenless Zone Zero because I feel like I love her in a very specific way that I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about. More under the cut because I have,,, so many thoughts.

Koleda is such a good portrayal of someone who struggles with their perception as an adult. A pretty easy conclusion to make with the first thing she usually says on the character select screen being “Hey, don’t look down on me!”, but it definitely goes a lot deeper the more you spend time with her. Specifically, she seems to struggle in her perception of herself as someone much more mature than her younger peers, but still not on the same level as the adults in similar positions of power as her. I kinda. Hate zenless for not explicitly stating how old she is, but given she rose to her position at Belobog “when she came of age” (which honestly, I still can’t give a concrete answer to what hoyo means by this? Some searches I found claimed the working age to be 16 in China, I’ve seen others online claim 18 but that’s not reliable. Hoyo I'm begging you put official ages on your characters it's a cool and based practice), she waited for a significant amount of time before taking up her role as president. She is an adult from what the game implies, and a core part of her character is fighting against the constant infantilization she faces due to how she looks.

Let’s start with her love of desserts (and a honestly this is the reason I started writing this). It’s her most highlighted character trait (it is also the first known attribute in her trust rank profile when you unlock her), and most of her trust events on 6th street revolves around them. Initially, she hesitates in proclaiming her love for them, likely to avoid being perceived as childish.

Her rank 4 trust special event is, admittedly, my favorite, but it’s one of the best breakdowns of this.

In order to maintain her image as a mature adult, she uses her position as company president to get around having to request a special dessert drink by name (in her defense, "Sweet Girl Fluffy Marshmallow Lambkin Milk" is an insane mouthful of a product name). At the end of the event she admits that saying its name “wasn’t as bad as she thought”, but her initial kneejerk reaction was a complete rejection of even entertaining the idea of doing something that could put the image she worked so hard to create and maintain at risk. Despite this, she still refuses desserts that aren't tooth-rottingly sweet, even if they are seen as the more mature or "refined" option. It's only around people that she really trusts does she allow this part of herself to be known, because she knows they wouldn't misconstrue this behavior as childish.

I also think her perception on the differences between kids and adults is interesting ("thank you agent story quest" we all say in unison). She doesn't ever feel like she fits in with other kids, probably due to all the responsibility she had to take on as the eventual heir to her father's company. But she also holds a vocal distain for many of her adult peers. Her declaration of "When I was younger, I thought the whole world was rotten, trying to make people just as rotten when they grow up." is a reflection of how she struggled to find her place in the world as she was forced to suddenly transition into adulthood, while still trying to understand the actions of the adults around her.

Her relationship with her father becoming strained contributed significantly to her world outlook as well, and may have caused such a specific distinction of what she deems "the world of adults". I don't want to dive too specifically into that because spoilers and the game is only a few weeks old so. Pin that for another time maybe? It definitely matters in the sense that the loss of her father is the catalyst for the loss of her childhood, but a lot of the specifics in how that affected her are speculative (and I don't wanna get too headcanon-y in this particular post) and she explicitly chooses not to discuss it too in-depth with the proxy (which, girl. Valid). But she's slowly learning to cope with that loss, at least it seems that way by the end of chapter 3. Honestly I could probably find more to add about the agent story in particular, but I would have to replay it to get a better idea.

To me, Koleda Belobog is very solid representation for women who had to grow up too fast, struggle with the perception of being seen as an adult, and hold guilt about indulging in acts that can be perceived as childish by their peers because they never fully got the chance to just be a kid. It truly did resonate with me, and it feels like such a specific "if you know, you know" kind of experience that I don't feel is talked about as much in media, especially with people who identify as female during their youth.

Also, also! I hope they dive in a bit more on how she got/has so much hollow corruption at a young age. Because they imply that she is so short as a result of this hollow corruption. Like that's so damn interesting conceptually and I know they delved on it more in Rina's agent story but. It was more of a mental affliction than a physical one.

Anyway I've been working on this for like 2 days now but that's all I have in terms of like. A canon-compliant character analysis.

TLDR; Koleda is such a perfect example of "God forbid short women exist" and I love her for that. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[hannahbarberra162]

hOrnithology for Beginners

On Ao3

Next chapter

I know I said it was a one shot but I lied. I think it will be 4 chapters.

Marco X Reader, no use of "y/n." Fluffy fun.

Summary: You spend your days waitressing, using all your free time working to become an ornithologist and hunting poachers. You meet and befriend a rare mythical bird, with clear intelligence and astounding beauty. At the same time, an annoying group of pirates are docked at the island. One of them with a stupid haircut keeps trying to charm you, but you hate pirates and especially this one. He’s persistent - can’t he just leave you alone so you can hang out with your new Phoenix friend?

Marco isn’t sure what to do - you love him in his phoenix form, but you hate him in his human form. It's a tough spot for birds and bird watchers alike.

Notes:

I think that it could reasonably be assumed that the mythical Zoans are not the only of their kinds. They are the just only humans who can turn into mythical creatures. Rob Lucci is not the only leopard, Jack isn’t the only mammoth, Yamato isn't the only kitsune, etc. For the purposes of this story, there are more than one of each mythical creature, but only one Devil Fruit user who can turn into one. So reader isn't totally off that it is a phoenix, she just doesn't know it's The Phoenix.

~~~

You tightened your apron ties and scanned the patrons coming in for the lunch rush. Looked like the usual groups - some tourists, some bird watchers, some locals. You didn’t see any obvious waterfoul - your punny code word for pirates. One of the reasons you kept this shitty job was that it gave you a good peek into everyone coming and going on the island. Your island was famous for its stunning bird migrations. It was the southernmost island before the longest landless stretch of sea in the Grand Line. Flocks of birds would often rest at the island in preparation for the long journey to the next set of islands. It was also a wonderful location to try to spot rare and mythical birds. You’d seen a few and captured their essences in your sketchbook. 

Unfortunately, waterfoul weren’t interested in capturing images. They wanted to catch and kill rare birds for easy money. Poaching was a huge problem on the island, one that you frequently fought against. It was your personal crusade to try and stop as many poachers as possible. You’d caught some others - a few Marines, some local boys - but the primary offenders were almost always waterfoul. You carefully watched when crews came to the port, listening for signs that they were going to look for avian treasures. It usually took a week for log poses to set, so you had a good chance of seeing anyone suspicious. You didn’t care to keep track of any specific crew or pirates - they were all the same. Same arrogance, same swaggering attitude, same cocky assurance that they could do anything they wanted to with no repercussions. You hadn’t met any halfway decent pirates, and you didn’t think you ever would. 

Satisfied that you wouldn’t have to worry as much today, you began your shift. It was grinding your soul to shreds being inside and talking to customers when you could be spending it outdoors, watching and drawing birds. But you needed to make money to afford art supplies, new ornithology books, and poison for your dart tips. So inside you stayed, taking orders from idiots who didn’t know if the mashed potatoes were mashed or fried. After a grueling shift, you were finally able to leave. You chucked your apron into the dirty bin and left immediately, turning down your coworkers requests to hang out as a group after the shift ended.

“C’mon, you never hang out with me. Let’s go grab a drink,” Etta said, giving you puppy dog eyes. Etta was your work BFF, and your only real friend on the island. 

“I can’t, I’m going to try to catch -”

“The next bird migration, I know. But there’s always a bird migration on this island, that’s the deal here. You can see one tomorrow, the next day, next month, next year even! But there’s only one 2 berri marg night per week…besides I heard there are some hot new pirates in town.” She waggled her eyebrows at you, while you pretended to barf. 

“You know how I feel about pirates. But I do wanna hang out. How about this? Tomorrow after our shift I’ll buy you a margarita, even if it costs more than 2 berri.” You really did like Etta so you compromised - one night out would be OK, you probably wouldn’t miss much. She stuck her tongue out at you.

“Fine, but you can’t flake out. If you do, I’m leaving you to do side prep all by yourself. Think of all those lemons you’d have to cut.” She rolled her eyes, but it was a plan. You were truly excited - she was the first friend you’d made since you were a child. People often told you that you were “intimidating,” or “prickly,” or “difficult,” which was all just code for “bitchy.” You didn’t care - you wanted to be yourself, not try to dull your edges for people who wouldn’t like you either way. So you were happy to be friends with Etta, who liked you despite your “poor attitude” (as your boss called it). 

You changed out of your work clothes and into your hiking gear, taking your day pack with you. This is what  you liked most - going into the wild to watch for birds, especially legendary ones. You walked down to the forest edge and started on a well trodden path. It didn’t take you long before you had diverged from the path and were going rogue. You’d never see anything really good on the tourist paths - people were too loud and startled the birds away. Besides, you’d been on the island a long time now and you knew the best places to wait and watch. 

You picked your way through the dense forest towards the hidden waterfall. It was your slice of heaven on earth. It was secluded enough that you’d never seen anyone else there. The area surrounding the waterfall was more open than the forest floor, making it easy for camping overnight. The water was always cool and clear, wonderful for swimming on a hot day. The waterfall wasn’t terribly large or loud, bringing a pleasant sound of rushing water. There was an alcove behind the waterfall, large enough for three or so people. Leafy trees lined the banks of the river the waterfall fell into, bringing shade on hot days. It was your happy place, where you retreated both physically and mentally when stressed. Today was no exception.

You reached your destination and put your pack down on a familiar flat rock under the shade of a tree. You took out your pencil, sketchbook, and binoculars and started your stake out. You were already mentally tallying the different bird cries you heard. So far, nothing out of the ordinary, just local birds trilling. You also delighted in the ordinary - you enjoyed seeing the same species day after day, learning more about their habits and manner of living. You were sketching a local starling that was imitating the sounds of transponder snails - pretty well, actually - when all of a sudden, your ears perked up when you heard alarm calls. It wasn’t a call for mobbing - when smaller birds would form a group to ward off a predatory bird. These were definitely alarm calls - short, high pitched, loud cries to warn their flocks that a predator was near. 

You were excited, this was great news for you. Hearing these calls meant that something big was coming your way. It might be a more common predator, but maybe not. You’d seen a lightning Secretary bird once that caused the exact same alarm cries. You’d barely caught sight of it before it was gone. Another time, the cries alerted you to an ice Roc perched in a tree a little farther down the river. You’d carefully stalked the bird and were able to get a few sketches of it done before it flew away. Those were the rarest ones you’d ever seen, and you were hoping for another. 

Straining your ears listening to the bird cries, you grabbed your sketchbook and followed them towards the source. You crept along as quickly as you could deeper in the forest, silently walking on the sides of your feet. The cries weren’t quieting down, meaning the predator was still in the area. Scanning, you inhaled a gasp as you saw the apex predator at hand. Perched on a branch overlooking the river was a phoenix. A blue fire phoenix, with dark blue almost purple accent markings that made it look like it was wearing glasses. You could barely remember to breathe in its presence.

You stood there agog with your mouth open until the bird moved slightly to shift its feathers. You opened your sketchbook and drew quick sketches of it before you missed your chance. You jotted notes of the colors, wanting to remember exactly what it looked like. Seeing the phoenix was like seeing a god in the flesh. It was a blur of blue flames, ending with wisps of yellow. The movment of its body was like watching the waterfall, endless and yet each moment fleeting at the same time. You could scarcely believe that you were able to see one, much less sketch it. You must have been making too much noise because it looked straight at you despite your hiding spot in the brush.

You weren’t worried about it hurting or killing you - that would be an honor. Well, not really, but you typically found predatory birds disinterested in humans. You kept on sketching even though your hands were shaking. The bird cocked its head to the side and continued to watch you. It almost felt…awkward, like you had intruded on a private moment. After a minute or so it seemed to have gathered whatever information it wanted and flew away. Even watching it leave was magnificent, tail feathers like a chain of golden coins dancing in the wind. When it finally left your sight, you exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding. That was almost orgasmic for you. You rushed to pack up your things so you could go home and sketch with detail and notations before you forgot anything.

On your way back, the only thing on your mind was the phoenix. You thought about its elegance, its restrained power, its understated intelligence. It was the most striking bird you’d ever seen out of the thousands you’d cataloged. You thought more about its coloring, trying to think of the exact shades of blue and yellow you’d use to describe it. But now that you thought about it, seeing a blue fire phoenix was peculiar. Everything you’d heard about phoenixes depicted them as yellow bodied with red accents. But not much was known about any legendary bird so perhaps this one was rarer or maybe hadn’t been discovered yet. It had some kind of marking on its chest - but unfortunately where you were standing obscured your ability to see the marks directly. The glasses markings were a little funny - almost like a spectacled owl. It did give the phoenix a distinctive and distinguished look, like a scholar or a doctor. You were practically skipping with delight towards your home, thinking of all the little details you wanted to remember.

~~~

The next day, you went to work with a smile on your face. Not even the sight of waterfoul in your section could dull your mood today. You’d spent hours sketching and coloring drawings of the phoenix you’d seen, writing every possible memory you had down to preserve it forever. Etta wasn’t in yet - she was starting a shift staggered an hour after yours- but you’d have to tell her about it when you saw her again. Smiling, you walked to the table of waterfoul getting your pad out to take their order. As you got to the table, your smile dropped and your bitch face turned on. You set it to extra sour just for your own fun. 

You looked at the assembled men - you saw two stupid hairstyles, two stupid hats, and one well...there was nothing stupid looking about the last man. He was absolutely gorgeous with black glossy hair set in a classic style and incredible geisha style makeup. Whatever, even if he was good looking he was still a pirate. The man with the stupidest hairstyle smiled warmly at you, like he knew you. You dropped your neutral face into a frown.

“What do you want?” you said in a flat tone.

“Aren’t you supposed to greet customers with a friendly welcome?” said stupid hairstyle two with a smirk. You wanted to dump a cup of water on his pompadour. Or maybe soup.

“Of course! Whatever would you like today, my fair patrons?” you replied in an overly sweet and simpering voice. You even curtsied at the end to hammer the point home. The point being - fuck off. As soon as the words left your lips, you went back to frowning. Pineapple Hair looked at you curiously.

Cowboy hat laughed and said “I’ll start with three steaks, rare. And a beer.” Pineapple Hair, Pompadour, Twirly Mustache and Glamor Man also placed their orders. When they were done, you turned on your heel and went to put in their orders. You attended your other tables and customers, servicing them all while thinking about your phoenix. 

After a while, you saw Etta enter through the staff door. Before she could get to the floor you quickly pulled her to the kitchen. You both spoke excitedly at the same time.

“Guess what - “

“Guess what - “

“You go first,” Etta said, listening intently.

“I saw a legendary bird last night! It was everything I could have ever dreamed of! It was absolutely incredible…I can’t wait to show you the sketches.” Etta was one of the only people you showed your drawings to. You loved the art of drawing but felt self conscious about your ability.

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you,” Etta’s eyes lit up. She always liked when you shared your ornithology information with her and dutifully listened to some of your ramblings..

“What’s your news?” Maybe 2 berri margs were available again tonight?

“So I went out to the bar last night and met someone for a little fun. They’re in town until their log pose resets. I was talking to them for a while and mentioned that you are a real bird expert, not like the shitty tour guides who don’t know anything.” You narrowed your eyes. This wasn’t heading in a direction you liked.

“He’s actually interested in beetles, not birds. But I said that beetles are an important part of several bird’s diets,” she said, hedging around something.

“That’s true, you’ve been listening to my rants,” you said, still on guard. There was something she wasn’t saying and you had a feeling you weren’t going to like it. 

“So I might have volunteered you to come on a double date with him and his friend birdwatching and looking for beetles,” she said in a rush while starting to steeple her hands in a begging motion.

“What aren’t you telling me? There’s more to it than that.” you asked suspiciously. 

“Uhm. Well, the thing is. They’re pirates -”

“Etta! Oh my god. I knew it was something -”

“No, no listen! Listen. They seem actually nice and reasonable. The one I met yesterday, Ace, was so sweet and hot! I really like him.”

“Ohmyfuckinggod. Pirates? Etta they’ll probably kill us and take our stuff if we go to the woods with them. Or worse.”

“No! They’re like, high ranking pirates, so you know they have to be good.”

“That is not at all what that means.” You crossed your arms, and waved at the little window in the kitchen door that looked into the dining room.

“Look, there’s shitty pirates out there right now. They’ve already annoyed me and it’s only been like half an hour. Think about what a few hours would do to me.” Etta looked out the window. 

“Oh, actually he’s right there! Isn’t he hot?” Etta ducked down so he couldn’t see her.

“Who? Which one?” You really hoped it was Glamor Man, but he didn’t seem outdoorsy. You looked at the table where Cowboy Hat was asleep face down in his food. Could you drown in peas? 

“The one wearing the cowboy hat, that’s Ace. Isn’t he just so fine?” Of course that was the one she liked. He was something alright. Etta was practically drooling. Ace was too. 

“Etta, as my only friend, I have to tell you-”

“Please please please please please please -”

“I really don’t think this is a good idea and I really don’t want to go on a double date with -”

“Please please please please please - I’ll take your shift tomorrow so you have two days off in a row! It’s the weekend too! Just come out with me tomorrow with these guys, please!”

You sighed. You didn’t want Etta to get herself killed, and two days off was very appealing during busy season. You could go camping overnight and see if the phoenix ever returned. 

“Fine. But we’re going on the popular trails and I will absolutely not be kissing any pirate. And you have to roll my silverware tonight.” You barely even cared who you were set up with so you didn't bother to ask. You'd find out tomorrow anyway.

“Thank you thank you thank you!!” Etta squealed and hugged you tightly. You gave a small smile, knowing you’d made your friend happy. And looking for beetles did actually sound like fun. Who knew pirates liked bugs?

[ghostfanwriter]

💖🧰 Dirty hands pt 3 🧰💖

Part one Part two

💖 Pairing: Dbf!Joel Miller x Virgin!Fem!Reader

🧰 Synopsis: Joel keeps finding reasons to stay in Lincoln. And you worry about the day he leaves, but he makes sure to show you how special this whole thing also is for him.

💖 Features: 🔞, fluffy and domestic Joel, Joel fixing things for her, masturbation (m and f), soft — so soft — (kinda dom) Joel, praise, pet names, quick cumplay (for poor Joel's desperation), sprinkles of angst here and there (I hurt my own feelings sometimes).

🧰 Word count: 9.5k. I'm so no sorry about this.

💖 About this: It took me forever to find this story, but I'm so, so glad it came out how it did. This series is gonna be a bit longer than I planned, but I have some real cool ideias for the next parts. Hope you're in with me ❤️

🧰 Author's note: Life really got in the way of this series, besties, but I came out alive. I'm really happy so many of you are as engaged with this story as I am, I love them so much. I just want a domestic, fluffy, soft Joel for myself 😩🤧

Good reading, besties 🩷🫶🏻

'You're always up with the sun.'

Bill's sentence made Joel sleep with his curtains open that night. Even with all the reasons why his mind told him he shouldn't pursue you, even with the potential death trap he was jumping into.

He couldn't not think about you. He couldn't not want to be with you.

He couldn't treat you like he felt he needed to. Couldn't dismiss you or break your heart. He had to make this experience as good as he could for you. It was only fair.

He would feel horrible if you never wanted to meet anyone else ever again because an old man made you cry.

So even with all the reasons he had to just forget about your and leave Lincoln the next day, he chose to keep his curtains open instead. To let the sun wake him up, so he could see you first thing in the morning.

He remembered the day he arrived, when Bill was showing him his bedroom and he saw you hugging Frank on your bed. Your grumpy and sleepy face, your messy hair, your clothes.

It made him smile again, and this time he allowed himself to. He let the feeling that was blooming inside his chest to make its point, to show him that there was an option outside of the QZ. That maybe he could stay.

Could stay with you.

Sure, making Bill lower his guard shouldn't be easy. But he could work on that; show him that he didn't want anything wrong or inappropriate with you.

That he wanted to take care of you like you deserve. Care for you like you're his.

Have you as his.

As the sunlight filled his room, he woke up and washed his face, staring at his own reflection in the mirror, last night memories floating around his mind.

He could almost feel you again, your warmth against his chest, as your body contorted and you made such pretty sounds for him. Then your soft hands stroking him, curiously roaming over his stomach and chest, how good it felt to be so close to someone again.

Not that him and Tess had ever stoped to have sex. They still did it, but not as a way to share anything, not to feel anything. Rather as a way to dismiss the bad feelings they had. They just dumped all the negativity of their lives into one another.

With you he didn't want to release anything. He wanted to gather everything he could from you, to make you feel as good as he could, without thinking about what he'd get from it.

He wanted to know you were happy, satisfied, taken care of.

He shook the thoughts as he felt them placing roots all over his heart, knowing that when the day arrived and he had to leave Lincoln, you'd be the main pebble on his shoe.

Halfway down the stairs he could already smell breakfast being prepared. He had peeked in your room, and, having not found you, he knew you'd probably be the one in the kitchen.

And he was right. As he gets close to the door, he can hear you humming one of the songs you played on the piano the previous night.

The image of himself playing a guitar while you played the piano flashed in his mind again, making his eyes soften as he looks at you.

You're wearing yet another summer dress. One even prettier than the one from the day he arrived.

He swears you look prettier everyday.

You turn around, jumping when you see him watching you from the door frame.

"Oh — God." You gasp with a laugh, almost dropping the pan in your hand.

"Morning." He says, laughing.

"Morning... Joel." You say, your voice small. Suddenly, you can feel your cheeks warm up, and it feels like all the blood in your veins came to them.

You stare at him, remembering the night before. How he touched you — or how he made you touch yourself. How you touched him, how almost ethereal the whole experience felt.

Part of you was afraid to bring it up and learn it was all a dream.

All of you was embarrassed, awkwardly standing with a pan in your hand, staring at him, not knowing how to interact with him after the night before.

You take a sharp breath in when he rushes towards you, getting confused when he walks past you, turning around to find him quickly removing a pan out of the stove.

You put the pan in your hand down at the table and run to the one in his hand, your scrambled eggs burnt at the bottom.

"At least there's more texture to them now." He says with a laugh, and you look up at him, an embarrassed smile on your face. "Are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I am. Just... Gonna have to switch pans now, and what's gonna be left of them isn't going to be enough for all of us, and this is gonna be horrible to wash, and—" Your rambling is cut by his soft and low whisper.

"Baby." He calls, and you look up, finding his eyes as soft as ever. "Not talking about the eggs." He says while staring into your eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm... Good. Different, in a way. I mean, I don't know how to talk to you, or not make this super awkward." You mutter.

"It's not awkward. Are you... Okay with what happened, or—"

"No, no. I'm fine! It's not like that, no. I... I loved it. I just... I just don't know how to... I don't know it just feels weird." You stutter, feeling like you're embarrassing yourself.

"A good weird, then?" He laughs.

"Yes, a good weird." You agree. "What about you?"

"Long time since I've felt this good, baby. Was just worried about you."

"No, I'm good. No need to worry." You say shyly. "Well, expect my breakfast is ruined." You laugh, and he stares you for a second.

"Ever heard of Chef Boyardee?"

"No." You respond laughing.

"Well, he's gonna save your breakfast. Let me just grab it real quick." He says, putting the pan down and rushing upstairs.

...

He comes back after a minute, two cans in his hands.

"I was afraid Boyardee was your alter ego." You say, reading the name on the can.

"I'd never dare to compare." He says, bringing his hand to his chest in a fake humble gesture.

He opens the cans, and you two start cooking together. He insists to wash the burnt pan, as long as you watch chef Boyardee up close as it heats up in the stove while you make some orange juice.

Bill stops on his tracks when he sees you two in the kitchen. Cooking, making juice, brewing coffee, talking and laughing.

He smiles seeing how happy you are, seeing maybe he didn't made the wrong decision when he let Joel in his house.

"Our baby's growing up. Weird to think about that, right? It was never a thought before." Frank whispers from behind him, hugging him and snuggling his chin on Bill's shoulder.

"She is my baby. And it ain't Joel that's gonna change that." He replies, caressing Frank's forearm.

"She's not ours, Bill. Maybe the day's coming when we need to let her go, make her life." He says.

"Well, she can make her life inside these fences. Definitely not with Jo—" His rant cut by your short lived scream.

"It's not burning!" You defend yourself.

"Not the ravioli!" Joel fake cries, laughing as you desperately stir the ravioli in the pan, smoke coming out of the sauce, almost catching on your face.

Bill walks into the kitchen, his always heavy steps even heavier to announce his presence.

"What happened?" He asks, his eyes wide when he sees you close to the smoke.

"Oh, daddy... Joel's a disaster in the kitchen." You laugh.

"I was just washing the pan, you were supposed to watch the stove!" Joel defends himself, laughing, lifting the pan to show it to you. "If you didn't burn this one we wouldn't be going through all this right now."

You've never seen Joel laughing like this, and happiness looked good on him. You liked how his nose scrunched when he laughed and how tiny his eyes got.

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he allowed himself to goof around, make jokes and just have fun.

"It's your fault! I never want you in the kitchen with me again." You say.

"Oh, you're finishing this?" He mentions the pan in his hand.

"No no no, that was your fault. You clean it." You say, turning back to your dad. "Sorry, daddy. Good morning, are you okay?" You ask, going to Bill and wrapping him in a tight hug that he's eager to correspond.

"Morning, my love." He whispers on top of your head as he squeezes you, his hand holding the back of your head protectively. His suspicious stare watching Joel.

"We're having canned ravioli for breakfast?" Frank asks laughing, slightly grossed out.

"Chef Boyardee." Joel playfully corrects him.

"We were gonna have scrambled eggs, but Joel burned them." You say and Joel laughs in defeat, shooting you a playful look. "So yeah, canned ravioli. Promise I'll cook us something nicer for lunch." You say, hugging Frank and kissing his cheek. "Morning, dad."

...

Your dads sit across from one another. You're across from Joel, your right foot is between his feet and he's running his boots lazily up and down your ankles. You can't stop smiling because of it.

"So, Joel. I was thinking we could start with the east side and work towards the gates?" Bill asks, breaking the comfortable silence — only broken before to compliment Chef Boyardee — that was set while you all ate.

"Sure. Just have some other thing l have to work on before the fence, if that's okay? We're still gonna have plenty of sunlight when I'm done. Should be quick." He says while still chewing, stuffing back his mouth right after he's finished.

"What other thing?" Bill asks, not remembering asking Joel to fix anything else that day.

"She told me about these broken doors on her bathroom cabinet. Said they're loud and don't close properly." He says, looking at you, his feet moving higher on your calves, soothing you.

"Baby, didn't I tell you I'd fix your cabinet?" Bill asks, angry to imagine Joel inside your bathroom, even angrier to imagine you going after someone else for help.

"You did. But you never fixed it. So I asked Joel and he said it should be quick." You shrug, playing along with Joel, his legs caressing yours in a reassuring way.

You didn't even know Joel was gonna fix something in your bathroom, you never told him anything about your cabinets.

Bill grunts, and Frank tries to soothe him with a sympathetic look.

You were the most important thing he had, and he didn't like the idea of you not needing him anymore.

"So, love, your dad and I were wondering, what do you think of a bonfire?" Frank asks, trying to dismiss the topic, and you smile.

"A bonfire?" You ask excited, your gaze going from Frank to Bill, and you catch a glimpse of Joel's smile on your way.

"Well, I have some spare wood, and we're gathering a bunch of things we don't need with all the fixings we're doing." Bill explains, looking at Joel, who nods. "Your dad just wanted to call it a bonfire." Bill finishes, looking at Frank, a fake annoyance in his face while he smiles at his husband.

"And you loved my idea, didn't you, honey?" Frank asks, trying to win his case.

"Oh, it sounds so fun." You giggle, and you can feel Joel squeezing your calves softly.

"A bonfire!" Frank says triumphantly. Eating another spoonful of ravioli. "This is actually really good, Joel!"

"Told you." Joel said laughing.

As soon as you're done eating Frank offers to wash the dishes and you and Joel go upstairs, Bill watching you both with concerned eyes.

...

"When did you see the doors were broken?" You ask when he walks in your room with a chest of tools, following him into your bathroom.

"When, baby?" He asks with a laugh, raising one eyebrow. Like you didn't know he was in your bathroom the night before. Like you don't remember having him in your arms, hoping that one day he'd be yours.

"No, I know when. I just mean exactly when. I never told you about it." You say, sitting on top of your toilet to watch him work.

"When I was looking for a product to clean the sink. This door made a terrible sound." He explains.

You watch as he kneels on the floor and starts unscrewing the door, cleaning and oiling its parts before screwing them back together.

"So, how's life in the QZ?" You ask when he starts working.

"Not much about it, nothing you're missing out on, for sure."

"Then why are you still living there?" You ask and he looks up at you, the crease between his eyebrows and the way his eyes wander around showing you he doesn't have a clear answer for that question.

"Not that simple, baby." He scrunches his nose. "Told your dad, we've got things there that you don't have here. Things we — grunts — need."

You smile seeing his face contort as he has to use more force to unscrew a particularly rusty part. You notice his arms flexing under his denim shirt, how strong his hands look, making his tools seem small in them. How he grunts when he makes a final effort to remove the screw.

Your heartbeat speeds up before you can stop it, and you only notice that he's staring at you when you hear him chuckle.

"And do they just give you those things? My dads say they used to have to work to gain money, and they'd trade money for things they wanted." You ask, trying to dismiss the blood burning your cheeks.

"Wasn't Frank in a QZ for a long time?" He asks.

"He was. But he doesn't like talking about it. Says I don't need to know about it." You respond. Even though Frank was way more laid back than Bill, he also had his ways to guard you from things he thought he needed to. "But I want to know about it." You add, seeing Joel's reluctancy in keep telling you about it.

"We also work there, not for money, but it's still a trade system. We can get food, medicine, parts, clothes. Whatever we need."

"Do you have nice clothes there?" You ask with more excitement than you wished to. You know it's futile, but you sometimes wish you had different clothes to wear. He chuckles before answering.

"I mean..." He mentions himself, and you turn your head.

"I think you look good." You say honestly and he smiles.

"Your clothes are much prettier than the ones there, baby. You're not missing out."

"You like my clothes?" You ask, your voice small.

"Love them. Never saw no one dress like you since this whole thing started." He whispers, sitting back on his heels and watching you with adoring eyes.

You look out the bathroom door, your bedroom door closed. No noise outside.

You bend down, kissing him softly on the lips. His left hand caresses the nape of your neck as he deepens the kiss.

"Wanna help me choose my dress for the bonfire?" You suggest when you break the kiss.

"My honor." He whispers over your lips, giving them a peck and letting you go.

...

You come back inside the bathroom with two dresses, both on their hangers.

"Okay, so we'll go by elimination. What do you think of these?" You ask, holding each dress in a hand. He's kneeled on the floor, fixing the cabinet, but he turns his torso, carefully analyzing the dresses over his shoulder.

"Blue one." He says.

"Yeah. This one's a bit too summery, too sunny." You agree, and he raises his eyebrows, nodding and humming before turning back to the cabinet.

"And what kind of jobs you do there?" You ask Joel while going back to your closet, picking the next option.

"All kinds you don't wanna know about, trust me. There's nothing about that place that's worth knowing, nothing good except those walls." He says.

You come back with the winner dress and another option, sitting on your bathtub's edge.

"Well, not when you're in it. Then there's at least one good thing." You say low with a smile, poking him with your foot, and you can see the shy smile that flashes in his face as he quickly squeezes your calves.

"Tess and I we... Leave the QZ from time to time, which you're not supposed to do, to look for things we can trade for other things. Not always for nice things, but we can always trade them again for something better."

"You're smugglers." Frank says out thin air, startling you. "Which isn't bad, I mean, the best stuff I had at the QZ came from smugglers." He adds seeing Joel's worried expression. "Tess told me about it. Told me about the kind of things you two give to guards. Not anything we need here, but maybe you'd know where to find some things for us?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure. Depending on what it is, it shouldn't be hard to find." Joel says.

"Oh! We were talking about having more fruits, right, dad? Strawberries, watermelons. Think you could find some, Joel?"

"Would have to look around, but it's not impossible." He says, making a mental note of finding you those as soon as he has the chance.

The thought of leaving Lincoln to look for things you want plays in the back of his mind, the scenario making him smile softly while looking at you.

"Speaking of Tess..." Frank interrupts his daydreams. "...she's on the radio. Wants to talk to you, seems important. She asked you to bring a pen and paper with you." He finally says what he came in to say.

Joel looks at you, a deep crease between his eyebrows, despite his overall relaxed expression. If you're really starting to know him, the crease means he's worried.

He gets up with a muted grunt.

"Oh, Joel! Which one?" You ask before he leaves.

He looks back and forth between the dresses, pressing his lips, trying to picture you in both of them. He likes how tight on top the blue one looks like, how flowy it looks on the legs.

"Blue again." He answers with a smile. "Be right back." He says directly to you before turning around, walking out the bathroom and thanking your dad for calling him.

Frank sits by your side, carefully walking around Joel's tools.

"What do you think of the blue one?" You ask him, caressing the dress.

"Hm, thought you wouldn't want my opinion." He says almost bitterly, despite his playful smile.

"Why? You always help me choose my dresses." You say, furrowing your eyebrows, his expression softening.

Deep down he felt the same as Bill.

You always needed them, always looked for them for guidance, advice, help, comfort, love. It hurt to think of you not needing them anymore, of losing you.

"Nothing." He says quietly.

"Are you upset because I asked for Joel's opinion?" You ask, and he realizes just how silly the feeling is. You're just picking a dress.

"Well I... Argh, I am, love. Can't lie to you." He hugs your side, squeezing your head on his chest playfully. "You don't need my help anymore, you're not my baby anymore." He says dramatically, making you laugh.

"Oh, no! I don't love you anymore, dude. Let go of me!" You playfully say, acting like you're trying to get away from him but ultimately snuggling even closer to his chest.

"I love you. I'll always asks for your opinions on my dresses." You laugh.

"Well, to be fair. The blue one is the prettiest between those two." He admits. "How are things between the two of you?"

"Great. He's so nice." You say with a silly smile.

"Can tell you look happier. And so does he. Never seen him laugh like I saw this morning." He says.

You remember his face when he arrived. Serious and suspicious of everything about the town. How you only saw him smile three times that day; when you two met, when you said you were going to bed and when he saw you with Frank.

But as soon as you think about that day your chest tightens.

Tess.

She came with him. For some reason didn't stay. Was she looking for something while he was there, or did she return to the QZ? Was she coming over? She said she and Joel were just friends, but what if they weren't?

You whimper softly, your stomach hurting out of a sudden.

"You okay, love?" Frank asks, pulling away to look at your face.

"Yeah, just... Do you know what Tess wants with Joel?"

"She didn't say, love. Maybe she just wants to know why he didn't go back to the QZ yet."

"Wasn't he going to stay here for a while? To help you and dad?" You ask, confused.

"Well, yes. But she didn't know that. He was supposed to leave yesterday." He said, caressing your arm with his thumb. "But he kept finding reasons to stick around. New things that need fixing, the car's weird noise, now the whole fence. I wonder what — or who — made him want to stay." He squeezes your arm and you smile shyly.

"But why does she care?" You ask, an unexpected annoyance in your voice.

"Darling... Joel and Tess they... They used to be a couple." He says, careful, like he could see his words stabbing you. "She cares about him. She's worried, she doesn't know us, maybe something could've happened to him."

"Do you think he cares about her too?" You know it's a stupid question. Of course he does. It's Joel.

But it hurts to imagine him doing to her the same he did to you. Sharing the same.

Frank gives you a sympathetic look, his eyes softening and his lips falling open, like he's thinking of what to tell you.

"Do you think I'm silly, dad? Do you think he's just gonna leave and never come back?" You ask, thinking about what him and Tess must be talking about.

"I don't know, love. I heard him and dad talk about some of the houses in here." He sighs.

Should he even be telling you that?

'Is he thinking about staying?' You ask yourself, your puppy eyes making Frank kiss your forehead lovingly.

"Only he can tell you that, my dove."

Sometimes you think your dad can read your mind.

You think about what Joel told you.

'We've got things there that you don't have here.'

Could he ever not live in the QZ? Would he ever want that?

"But can I give you an advice?" He asks softly and you nod. You're taking any help you can. "Slow down a bit. Don't think too ahead, don't nourish any hopes or fears about what's gonna happen." He says, looking deeply into your eyes. "Joel has his life outside, you can't forget that. I really, really, my love, hope you don't come out hurt of all of this. And the only way for it not to happen is you being careful. Don't engage in feelings he hasn't displayed to you."

"Don't create expectations then?" You ask, trying to make sense of his words.

"Yes, sweetheart. Feel your feelings, but don't ever run over them. Don't expect what you want to happen to turn out exactly how you wish." He adds. "Like about him staying. Don't expect it but also don't suffer thinking it's impossible before he tells you exactly what he's thinking. Don't put yourself through unnecessary pain."

Before you can say anything else Joel walks back in, a mix of annoyance and worry contorting his face, that softens instantly as his eyes find you.

"Blue one?" He asks with a silly smile and you nod, an even sillier one in your face.

"Blue one."

...

It's hard to follow your dad's advice.

Because it hurts too much to think of not seeing him anymore.

And that's exactly what you do for the rest of the day.

You watch him fix the fences with your dads while you hurt your own feelings, thinking about him leaving, about him with Tess, about him doing to her what he did to you. What you only did with him.

It hurts to think maybe he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him. Because you can't stop thinking about him. You're more attached than you ever thought you'd be to anyone besides your parents.

It hurts to think about him leaving you...

...forgetting about you.

He noticed how quiet you were during dinner — it was quite hard not to. And he found strange just how much he missed you, even though you were right in front of him.

How you didn't make any silly jokes or laughed at the ones your dads made. How you didn't give him your leg when he reached for it under the table, like he did during breakfast. How you wouldn't catch his gaze when he looked at you.

He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger in exactly what happened.

After dinner you kissed your dads goodnight and went straight to bed, no piano, no songs, no anything, despite their protests.

Maybe something happened while he was fixing the fences with Bill. He hadn't seen you since he left your bathroom.

"Is something wrong with her?" He asks your dads as soon as you go upstairs. They both shrug, and Bill can't help but wonder... Why does he even care?

You brush your teeth and lie on your bed, throwing a pitty party for yourself, feeling silly for engaging in such unrealistic expectations.

Joel had his life in the QZ...

...with Tess.

He wouldn't just give everything up for you, to stay in Lincoln.

It's hard to follow what Frank told you, to not feel bad, to ignore the discomfort in your stomach everytime you thought about Joel.

You quiet your thoughts when he opens your bedroom door — that you never seem to lock anymore —, finding you laying on your bed, almost curled in a ball, your back facing the door. Trying to keep your eyes dry.

He walks in carefully to not startle you, going around the bed to see if you're awake.

Your eyes start watering as soon as you see him.

"Hey, baby." He says softly, squatting next to you, keeping his distance. "What happened?" He didn't need you to say you weren't okay, he already knew that. He just needed to know what got you like that.

You don't say anything, aware that any words you said would make you cry.

"Can I sit with you?" He whispers, still not touching you.

You nod, moving your hips back to give him room to sit. You knew that no matter how much you tried to stay away, you'd feel him pulling you close, like there's a magnetic field between you two.

He sits down in front of your stomach and you pull your thighs closer to his back, keeping him close to you.

He moves his hand slowly, giving you time to push him away, gently touching your hair, pulling it behind your ear.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asks, his voice softer than ever.

"Do you?"

"I want to do whatever you want, baby." He whispers, caressing your hair, almost making you sleepy.

"I want you to stay with me."

"I can stay until you fall asleep. But I can't sleep here with you." He responds.

Not the stay you were thinking about. But it works for now, and you're glad he didn't pick up on it.

"Can you lie with me?" You ask shyly.

You weren't mad at him. You were just afraid to get too attached — even more than you already were, and to suffer too much when he left.

But you can't deny yourself what you're craving.

"Anything you want, baby." He leans down to press a kiss on your temple, bringing his hand to your hips, squeezing you gently and turning you around, your back facing him.

"Is this okay?" He asks, laying down sideways behind you, staying away and not touching you.

"Uhum."

He supports himself on his elbow and strokes your hair gently.

"Are you cold?" He asks, touching your cold arm, and you nod. He sits up and grabs your blanket by the end of your bed, covering you with it and supporting himself back on his elbow.

He's far from you, and you scoot back closer to him, pulling the blanket that's pooling between you two over him.

"Wearing my shoes, baby." He says, afraid of getting your blanket dirty. He kicks his boots away and and moves his body closer to yours.

Dropping his head on the pillow behind you, he slides his left arm underneath your head, letting you use it as a pillow. He hugs you and curl his legs, curling yours along. Fully spooning you.

In a way it reminded you of when you were a child and your dads would let you sleep in between them during a thunderstorm. How the same feeling of calm and safety takes over you.

You do your best to snuggle into him and find comfort in the new position, eventually relaxing into his arms as his right hand comes underneath your face, cupping your left cheek, pillowing it. You snuggle your face on his hand, kissing his palm gently.

You indulge in the intimacy you two are sharing. In how warm you got because of him, how his calloused hand feels under your cheek, how your bodies seem to fit in perfectly within one another.

How you can subtly feel his heartbeat against your back, how you try to match your breathing with his, enjoying the way his chest raises and falls behind you. How his smell invades your nose, how his hot breath sends chills down your spine, how his strong arms hold you so tight.

You stay tangled for a while before you gather the courage to talk to him.

"Joel?" You ask gently and he hums in response. "Can I ask you something... about Tess?" You almost whisper, afraid of ruining everything.

"Sure, baby. What about her?" He responds, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.

"Are you two dating?" You ask but regret instantly as you feel him chuckle behind you.

He gives your face a light squeeze before turning it for you to look at him. You feel vulnerable with him being so overpowering, moving you so effortlessly, his body engulfing yours so nicely...

"Is it because she called me earlier?" He asks, a smile on his face as he brings you back to reality. You only nod, not sustaining his gaze anymore. "Do you think I'd be here with you if we were together? Think I'd do this to her? To you? Lie to you like that?"

"I don't know." You whisper, hating how weak your voice sounds, barely making its way out of your mouth.

"Baby, Tess and I we... We were a couple, haven't been for a long while now." He explains, sincerity spread all over his face.

"Did you do to her what we did last night?" You ask, your stomach turning to imagine him doing that to someone else.

Realistically, you knew he had. But it still hurt to think about it.

"No, baby. Not what we did yesterday. That I never did to nobody." He answers and you look away from his soft eyes. "I'm not lying." He squeezes your cheek gently, making you look back at him. "Yesterday it was all about you, making you feel good. And sex with Tess was about releasing frustrations, sadness, anger. Distracting myself." He explains. "I'd never dump those negative feelings on you. I wanna make you feel good, wanna see and hear you feel good. I loved doing it, but it wasn't about me. It was all about you." He says softly, his eyes wandering from your eyes to your lips.

It feels like you're melting in his arms. His words disarming you entirely, making you want to feel him again. To share that again.

"Can you kiss me?" You ask, hope coating your request.

"Anything you want, angel." He whispers as he lowers himself, gently connecting his lips to yours.

The tingling of his beard on your face makes you lean in further onto him, pulling him lower on top of you as you lie back down.

You open your mouth, kissing his lower lip, making him deepen the kiss, rolling his tongue around yours, and gently grabbing a fistful of your hair.

His tongue tangling with yours make your insides burn with need, and your hips instinctively roll against his crotch, making you moan when you feel his still soft cock inside his pants. His hand comes from your hair to your waist, holding you still.

"Baby." His voice sound deep and aroused as he breaks the kiss, softly panting as he talks to you. "We don't have to do anything. We can go slow, slower than we're going. I'd love to just lie down with you tonight." He stares softly at you, his thumb caressing your belly.

"I want you, Joel. Want to feel you before you leave." You say, cursing at yourself when you realize what you've just said.

"Not going anywhere, baby." He promises, furrowing his brows before kissing you again, deeper and more passionately, making you moan into his mouth, his hand exploring your curves and your stomach, its roughness erupting chills on its tracks.

You can't stop your hand from reaching for him when he grabs one of your breasts, gently massaging it through your shirt. He pulls back when you touch his crotch.

"You first, angel." He says, removing your hand and kissing your neck. Then your shoulder, your collarbone. His hand softly pulls on the hem your shirt.

"Can I?" You respond by removing it, laying back down, your back still facing him, your hand reaching back for his hair, running your fingers through it.

His hand finds your breasts again, kneading them before he lifts himself behind you, sliding underneath your right arm to place ghostly kisses first around them, circling his way closer to your nipple, looking into your eyes for any reluctancy before he moves any further.

Not finding any and feeling how you pulled gently on his curls, he licks around your nipple once, still looking into your eyes. When you moan, he takes it in his mouth, humming at its softness. You whimper at how his beard scratches your skin.

The new and soft sensation of his tongue on you makes your clit burn between your legs, that you're pressing against one another, looking for some release for the almost painful need you're feeling.

He squeezes your hips, gently at first, but more and more firmly as you pull on his hair, his lips sucking tightly around your nipple, opening and closing around it, like he's trying to drink from it.

"More, Joel. Please." You whimper, your head spinning as you drown in simultaneous under and over stimulation.

"Want me to touch you, baby? Wanna feel my fingers on you?" He asks, letting go of your nipple, his voice breathy and raspy, and you whimper in response. "Would love to feel you, baby. Know you're so wet for me already. Wanna make you cum on my fingers." He says while tracing kisses from your breast to the back of your shoulder.

"Yes, please. Yes, Joel." You say eagerly, desperately almost. Making him laugh amusedly and spread your legs, pulling your right one over his hips. Slowly running his hand from your hip to your mount, the mere warmth of his hand making you grind against it.

"So desperate, baby. Gonna take my time, make you feel so good." He pants on your neck, lowering his hand even more, drawing soft circles around your clothed clit, earning weak whimpers and moans from you. "Let's take this off." He says, pulling on your pijama shorts, and you lift your hips to help him.

He pulls your leg back over his hips and caresses you through your panties for a bit, running his middle and index fingers up and down your folds, teasing at your entrance, softly pressing on it.

He palms your folds, gently squeezing your pussy. "So good, baby." He praises, his lips never leaving your neck. He runs his fingers of the elastic of your panties, playing with it. "Is this okay?" He asks, his fingers carefully sliding underneath them.

Your moan is enough of a green light.

His rough fingers make their way under your underwear, ghosting over your mount, then your folds. Finally finding the crease between them, gently touching your clit before spreading your folds, groaning when he feels how wet you are.

"Dripping already, baby. We haven't even started yet." He teases, nibbling at your ear and making you giggle. He laughs behind you. "Goddammit, baby, I..."

He stops himself with a grunt before he says too much, before he lets out something he's been pondering on, a feeling he's not managing to prune as it grows roots inside him.

He circles your clit again, just his middle finger rolling lazily over it. He uncovers it from the skin on top of it, making your whole core burn for him, the rough textured of his fingers on such a sensitive spot making you pull away with a whine.

"Sorry, baby. Too much?" He asks, kissing your shoulder, and you whimper in response, getting close to him again. "It's okay. We won't ever do anything that doesn't feel good."

He goes to your entrance and draws circles over it, slowly pushing the tip of his middle finger inside you.

"This okay?" Comes out in a whisper on your neck.

You love how he's always making sure you're enjoying what he's doing. Always checking in on you.

"More, Joel." You manage to put out.

"Okay, but just one, alright? We can work on two later." He says and you nod. You just need something from him.

He french kisses and bites on your shoulder while he pushes in, your walls engulfing him. You moan when his finger goes fully inside you.

It's so much bigger than yours.

He groans as he spreads his palm over your pussy, squeezing it quickly before gently thrusting his finger in and out of you.

"You feel so good, baby. So tight around my finger." His breath fans on your neck, and you have to swallow back a loud moan when he curls his finger, just like he taught you last time, hitting an even deeper spot than you managed to.

"Shh, real quiet, angel." His thumb finds your clit and he caresses it lazily, his finger moving slowly against your walls, your hips moving to try and ease the burn.

You feel his erection against your ass and your hand looks for him, grabbing him through his pants, earning a grunt, moaning when you feel how hard he is.

"Wanna feel you cum like this, can you try that for me, baby?" He asks while he fasten his movements, each thrust deeper and faster, each curl tighter and each circle around your clit more desperate. His hips bumping against your hand while you try to work him.

"Joel." You moan softly when your body starts contorting around him, your core burning as your hips move against his hand. "Please, let me do it." You plead, struggling to open his belt with just one hand.

"Fuck." He curses while he lets go of you, desperately opening his belt and freeing himself. He helps you remove your panties before carefully pulling you back in his arms, spooning you. His left arm underneath your head as his right arm pulls your leg over his hips again, his cock pressing against your ass, his hips grinding against you.

You stroke him slowly, spreading his precum all over his length, giving a special attention to his tip.

Just like he taught you. His grunts a sign you've learned just right.

His hands return their work, one on your pussy while the other alternates between caressing your hair and kneading your breasts, and you can feel his strong arm contracting underneath your face as he moves.

He notices your hand around him and your breathing both getting more erratic, an almost painful look in your face.

"Relax, cum for me, baby, let me feel you. I'm right here, I've got you, just let it come." He coos, and you twist your hand around him, making him thrust into it.

Being so close, so tangled, so vulnerable with him overtakes you, and your orgasm builds like a wave, slow and steady before crashing against your core, making you forget everything that wasn't Joel.

His smell, his warmth, his hot breath on your neck, his sounds, his rough fingers, his hardness.

You bite his arm that's under your head in an attempt to quiet yourself as he engulfs you with it, holding you tight and close to him, whispering praises and curses on your ear, thrusting slower and deeper into your hand.

"There we go. Feels so good around my finger, baby." He coos while you contort under his embrace.

He grunts as you probably squeeze his cock a bit too hard while you cum.

"Even prettier like this, my pretty girl." He praises as he pulls out of you, your arousal leaking all over your leg and butt.

"Making such a pretty mess for me, baby, look at this. You're gonna feel so good around me, angel." He thrusts into your hand again and shows you his finger, glistening and wrinkled from being inside you for so long, coated in your juices.

He sucks on it, furrowing his brows and humming at your taste, an amused smile on his face. His hips buck forward while he laughs, looking adoringly down at you.

"Taste so, so good, my baby, goddammit." He pants, and you wanna see him do it again, so you let go of him and gather some of your juices, bringing your fingers to his mouth.

He's quick to suck around them, rolling his tongue around your fingers and giving you a peck on the lips.

He thrusts forward again and his cock slides against your folds, making you both moan. "Hmm. Thank you, angel." He smiles on your lips, spraying kisses on your collarbone and your throat, his hips moving at a slow pace, savoring how you feel against his cock.

"So soft. So wet for me." He praises, hugging you, squeezing your waist and your breasts, moving his hips with more intent. Your belly clenching when his tip brushes against your sensitive clit.

"You like this, baby? Does it feel good? Feels real good to me." He breathes on your hair, his voice deep and raspy.

His right hand comes back underneath your face, and you snuggle against it, weakly bitting his palm and indulging on its texture against your skin.

It all feels amazing. The contrast between his rough, calloused hands and his soft, wet and warm cock rubbing against your pussy making you see stars. He feels so, so good.

"Feels so good, Joel." You moan.

"Close your legs real tight for me then, baby." He instructs and you do, pressing your thighs together, feeling his cock pulse between your legs. "There you go, good girl. Making me feel so good, baby." He says as he picks up his pace.

He fucks your folds for a while, grunting and moaning behind you as his cock opens it's way through them, spreading them and brushing his tip against your clit. The way his strong arms keep you close to him make you start rolling your hips instinctively against his cock.

He changes his pace to meet your hips, setting a passionate and deep rhythm, and you can hear the wet sound of your bodies pleasing one another when you move just slightly harder.

When you start to really enjoy yourself he suddenly stops, laying you on your back and climbing on top of you. He spreads your legs, making room for his broad frames between them.

He looks so big, so strong above you. You run your hands on his arms, frustrated that he's still fully clothed while you're so exposed for him.

Not that he makes you feel bad like this. No... It feels actually strangely good to be fully naked under a fully clothed Joel Miller.

He notices you mesmerized by him and just stand above you, kneeled between your legs, admiring your own exposed body.

To think that he did everything he's done to you without having to remove a single piece of his clothing is impressive.

But you need more, you want to see him, to feel his skin against yours. If feeling his hands and his mouth feels good, you know you're gonna be lost when you feel his bare chest and stomach burning your skin.

You undo the first button on his flannel, and he laughs.

"You look so sweet, so pretty, my baby." He praises, fixing your hair and leaning down to kiss first your cheek — right besides your nose, under your eye — , then another one on your lips. A sweet and lovingly kiss. You use the proximity to finish undoing his flannel, moaning frustrated when you notice the shirt underneath it.

You pull on it's hem, and thankfully he doesn't protest, just standing on his knees and letting you remove it.

You moan when you lie back down and look at him. He wonders if he's wrong when he sees the way you look at him.

As he got older and older people seemed to want to see his naked figure less and less. And to have you looking at him like that... Set a whole new branch of roots inside his heart.

You run your hands up his sides and his chest, and he closes his eyes at the feeling of your warm and soft hands. It's been a long, long time since he felt like this. You cup his cheeks and he lowers himself on top of you.

Having him on top of you is everything you hoped it'd be.

He's soft, warm and heavy.

So deliciously heavy.

You moan at the feeling and he holds himself higher, afraid to hurt you, but you pull him back, even lower, needing his weight to crush you.

You can't even breath properly, and you love it.

You wrap your arms around him, running your hands on his back and squeezing his shoulder blades. He does the same, his arms snaking underneath you, holding you like he was afraid you could ever think of going away from him.

If it was up to you, you'd never leave this bed again, this position, this man. Every kiss he places on your neck makes you roll your hips and squeeze him between your thighs.

He lifts himself a little and guides his cock between your folds again, spreading them apart and thrusting through them, pressing his cock against you with his thumb.

"Fuck." He pants as he slides his tip over your entrance. "Can't wait to be inside you, baby. Never gonna leave you again." He says, biting your jaw softly.

The promise makes its way to your heart, the thought of belonging to him, being with him, taking care of him and being taken care of consumes you, making you roll your hips on him.

"Please Joel. I'm ready, I want to." You plead, holding his arms.

He laughs.

"No, baby. You may be, but she's not. Look at this." He says as he presses his tip on your entrance, making you clench instinctively at the invasion and whine in pain. "You need to learn how to relax for me. Need to get used to being close to me like this. I need you to be sure about it." He says as he kisses your hand that's squeezing his shoulder.

"I am, I want you." You say, feeling as he slides the very tip of his tip inside you, grunting at how tight you feel around him. He thrusts slowly, just the tip going in and out of you.

And you have to give it to him... It feels like a lot. Even just his tip requires a considerable stretch, and the thought of having him almost carving your insides to make room for himself makes you clench around him.

"Shit — grunts — fuck, baby. See? She needs more time, I don't wanna hurt you." He says as he lowers himself to press a sweet kiss on your cheek, right besides your nose, pulling his tip out of you and sliding his cock through your folds again.

You moan when you feel his now much wetter tip brush against your clit.

He pulls your left leg up, bringing your knee close to your chest, caressing your thighs, not stoping his movements. You whimper as his weight sinks you down onto the mattress, and you wrap your arms around him, digging your nails on his shoulders, pulling away when he grunts from it.

"Sorry." You moan, afraid you've hurt him.

"No, baby. C'mon, squeeze me, it means you're liking it." He reassures you, thrusting slower and harder, pressing his hips deeper on top of you and bringing your other leg up.

"I wanna see it, Joel." You breath, holding firmly into his shoulders, your brows furrowed as you push him away, looking down where your bodies are connected.

"Yeah, baby? I love seeing it too. You look so pretty all spread for me like this, all ready and wet for me." He pants, touching his forehead to yours, looking down.

His hips get more erratic with every thrust, his hands supporting him up and squeezing you as he lowers himself on top of you again.

"Gonna make me cum, baby. But I wanna see you do it again, think you can do it for me?" He asks, his voice low.

"Yes." You moan, focusing on how good he feels rubbing against your core.

"There you are, such a good girl for me." He praises, kissing your neck, fastening his movements even more. "Gonna feel so good cumming under me, with my cock for the very first time, baby. Give it to me, c'mon." He says, moving your hair away from your face and cupping your cheeks.

The constant and relentless pace he sets along with his praises becomes too overwhelming, and you bite his shoulder to not scream when you cum, clenching and convulsing around air. Crying out in pleasure, droll dripping down his shoulder, tears running down your cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I know it feels so good, doesn't it?" He coos.

His hand that was on your cheek now supports your head up against him, caressing your hair softly, soothing you.

"Goddammit, baby. Can feel you pulsing on me." He says, staring down, watching himself slide through your dripping folds.

You only moan in response, letting go of his shoulder and kissing the deep mark your teeth left on it.

"Gonna cum for you, baby. You did so well for me, such a good — grunts — fucking girl. My... All mine." He stutters, not being able to form comprehensive sentences anymore. "Can't do it like this, no. Fucking can't." He pants before dropping to your side, stroking himself deep and fast.

You watch his strong torso as it raises and falls heavily, curses and senseless words falling from his lips.

But when he calls you... By your name, a breathy and passionate moan... You can't help it.

You reach for him, wrapping your hand around him.

"Fuck, just like last time, baby." He instructs before running his fingers through your hair and caressing your cheek with his thumb. "Such a pretty girl. I'm so fucking — grunts — lucky, angel."

His praise makes you fasten your movements, twisting your wrist around him and rolling your hand around his tip.

"Joel?" You call and he groans in response, looking at you. "Can I put it in my mouth this time?" You ask, using that goddamn voice to try and convince him.

"Jesus — no, baby. No mouth." He pants, fighting the words as they leave his mouth.

God, he loves how much you want to suck his cock. He fucking loves it.

You tighten your grip when you feel him pulse, craving more of the sensation.

"Shit — fuck. Like that, baby. Gonna make me cum for you."

When you feel him twitch and you see the first stream of cum spurt out his his tip...

...you forget everything he told you. You notice his eyes closed shut and lower yourself, opening your mouth in front of his tip, drawing a circle around his tip with your tongue.

He doesn't taste as bad as you remembered.

His hips immediately buck into your face, a gutural sound leaving his throat.

"I said no — grunts — fucking mouth, baby. Goddammit." He says, his hips thrusting up, his hand fisting your hair, but not pulling you away.

You keep licking around his tip while he cums, leaking into your mouth and your hand. You don't keep anything in your mouth, letting it all fall down on your hand and his crotch.

You look up at him and find his eyes on you. Instead of feeling shy, though, you smile, sucking around his tip for the first time, and he spurts one last time inside your mouth with a grunt.

"Fuck, baby. Felt so fucking good." He says when you feel him start softening in your hand. He fixes your hair lazily while you lick your lips, drinking what was dripping down your chin. "Doesn't taste gross anymore?" He teases, seeing how focused you are in drinking every drop of him that's on your face.

"Tastes better directly from you." You lie, only taking it into your mouth because you like how he looks at you when you do so, holding back a bitter expression when you taste more and more of his cum.

Although you have to admit... It does taste better than last time.

"Come up here, angel." He calls, pulling you on top of his chest. "You okay?" He asks while looking deep into your eyes.

You nod. Okay is nothing compared to how you feel right now.

You feel like you're floating, like you're in a transe, like jelly.

You kiss his chest, snuggling your face on him.

"Are you feeling better?" He whispers on top of your head, his hot breath on your hair.

"I feel so good, Joel."

"You do? And you're not gonna thank me, baby? I thought you had better manners than that." He teases, laughing softly underneath you, your body going up and down along with his chest.

"Thank you, Joel. Thank you too." You lightly tap his softening cock.

He laughs. There's the sillyness he missed during dinner.

The playfulness he knows he'll miss the most when he leaves you.

If he ever manages to leave you.

"Our honor, baby." He squeezes you tighter and kisses your forehead. You wrap your arms around him, feeling sleepy already.

When he feels you soften on top of him and your breathing get softer, he softly scratches your head.

"Hey, baby. Can't sleep like this. Gotta clean you up." He whispers, rolling you on the bed, on your back, and kissing your pout with a smile before going to your bathroom.

You admire his naked figure. His strong back, his broad — so broad — shoulders, his strong legs. He looks like a sculpture, like a God, almost.

And you'd be lying if you said you couldn't describe what you feel for him as almost devotion.

Your blasphemies are cut when he walks back in, already clean, with a cloth in hands. He climbs on top of the bed and spread your legs, caressing your thighs.

"So pretty." He praises when he cleans you, softly to not hurt you. Laughing when the cloth touches your clit and your body jerks up.

He finishes and kisses your belly, right above your mount, going lower and pressing a kiss on your folds.

"Joel." You moan.

"Sorry, baby. Don't wanna make a mess again." He teases you, lifting himself.

"Can you do it? Put your mouth on her?" You ask, a new spark of arousal hitting you at the thought of his warm mouth on you.

"Can't wait to, baby. But not today. No. Now the only thing you're gonna do is sleep." He puts his pants and his shirt back on before grabbing your panties and your shirt.

He dresses you back up and lie down behind you, spooning you again, his right hand coming underneath your cheek, pillowing it.

You moan at how good it feels to be so close to him. At how vulnerable you can be with him, knowing he won't move one finger unless you're okay with it.

You fall asleep faster than any other night since he arrived, only waking up for a slip second when you feel him carefully letting go of you. And you feel colder, but you know he can't sleep with you.

He presses a kiss to your temple, whispering something muffled before leaving your bedroom.

...

When he lies on his bed he seals his fate. He can't stay way from you. He doesn't want to.

The whisper on your cheeks more a confession to himself than to you.

"I think I love you."

It reverberates in his chest, a feeling he thought could never bloom again in his infertile heart. A feeling only you could sow on him.

Please, please let me know what you think about it. I love reading your thoughts, reblogs, asks and comments on this series 🩷

Hope you liked it, have a wonderful day, besties 🩷🫶🏻

My Masterlist 🩷🪷

Been a long while since part two, so I'm tagging some people that seemed to really like this series so far 🫶🏻

@pedritoferg @cleopatra99 @samsamsantos @thecaptainpandabear @blooodmoonbarnes @yourwinchesterbros @walkintheprk @cruelfvkingsummer @laiisleitte

[vxiphoid]

✦ HOME SWEET HOME(MATES)

❨ leona as your roommate ❩ basically roommates to lovers, i am dying for this trope holy shit. kinda ooc leona (im not sure but ill put this here anyways.), some cursing, mention of marriage like once, other than that really fluffy.

2k+ words

MOVING IN, WELCOME HOME, LEONA !!

MONTH I

when he first moved in, you were expecting some imperious, egotistical, loud-mouthed prince and well, the imperious part wasn’t exactly wrong. you barely even see the dude and when you do, he’s on the couch, slumped. half of the time you forget you even have a roommate. hell, the dude barely even talks to you. the first time you actually talk to him, after a month of living with each other, is when he placed an assload of dishes in the sink after you had respectfully washed them on his week.

that’s how you found yourself practically hip to hip with a prince, elbows deep in soapy water, hands brushing occasionally. he refused to wash the dishes he had purposely dropped in the sink while you were finishing the last dish. how long was he hoarding these in his room? you didn’t know but you made a deal with him. you help him wash the dishes but he has to finish the rest of his week, simple enough since it is his responsibility. hell, when you saw the tower he placed in the kitchen you damn near tore his ear off dragging him back to his mess. what were you, his mother? maybe he just needed some house training, assuming he lived in some mansion with an unimaginable amount of maids.

leona’s chest rumbled and his ear flicked with discomfort, his lip twitching upward into a grimace. sparing him a glance, you bumped his hip with yours. “lighten up, its not that bad.”

“i think i just touched peanut butter. wet peanut butter.”

your stomach tightened and you instinctively pursed your lips to prevent the laughter bubbling in your throat. okay, maybe it was that bad. his tail flicked your leg in annoyance. he has to give you some credit, some. washing dishes wasn’t the most pleasing thing however he had to admit, you weren’t that bad of company. now he was the one stealing glances at you, emerald eyes roving across the expanse of your figure before finally settling on your face. easy on the eyes. he returned his gaze to his hands that were violently scrubbing a dish.

he even returned your gentle hip bump.

ITS LATE, TALK TO ME

MONTH II

he’s actually been in your room a few times, mostly when you’re out, so he can steal that comfy ass bed of yours. though tonight, its clearly different when the lion comes stumbling into your room and plops down on your bed. its weird, at first, but you slowly slid beside him and stared at the ceiling together. it wasn’t until you made some comment that started the late night, half-asleep talking.

“oh! that one dude,” you snap your fingers for remembrance, “ruggie, was it? does he actually eat dandelions?”

the vibes that radiated through your room is therapeutic. mood lighting, a person to talk to, and a dedicated playlist for this occasion. leona’s voice is rather calming with the slight hint of drowsiness, someone you would definitely pay to have a story read to you. he’s told you more about night raven; his acquaintances, not friends, what he’s studied. the college sounded like a lively place, unlike the boring shared apartment route. though, it is a little less boring now.

leona hums, your question quickly answered with acknowledgment. “yeah. he’s weird like that but he’s alive, thats really all i care about.” he says. his voice is soft and slightly deeper than what you’re used to hearing. it makes something in your chest constrict and tighten at the same time.

“he eats pumpkin seeds, don’t he?” you deadpan.

leona lets out a noise that sounded extremely similar to a laugh to which he, badly, attempted to cover up with a cough. you practically spring up, “are you.. laughing? did i just make you laugh? the leona kingscholar?” “nuh-uh.” the more you continued to shower him with this teasing, the harder it got to actually compose his grin, he’s already turned away from you. the look of pure mirth on his face is enough for you to forget what stress you ever had. in a weird way, you feel kind of privileged knowing that you were able to make him smile. you’d take this over any other day, perhaps you liked your new roommate.

OH LOOK, A CAFE !!

MONTH III

leona was actually contempt to take a small detour from your walk together, he really didn’t care where went. all he knows is that he needs a nap. you were actually looking for somewhere nice to sit down to help leona with his studies, the cafe down the street sounded like a decent date. study date. no one told him there were cats in there!

“how is it?” you ask smugly.

leona looks up from the table, a half glare shot at you as he sucks cupcake frosting from the pad of his thumb. he releases his thumb with a wet pop and a once over at his lips, “i like it as much as much as you like stealing my clothes.” then he pushed the cupcake into his mouth, his eyes flicking to his button up around your body.

you intertwine your fingers, resting your chin upon your hands. “it was in my dirty clothes basket, i washed it, therefore it is mine.” you quip back playfully, taking a sip out of your latte.

“it literally has my name sewn onto the back.” he counters.

“yeah, with the smoothest fucking silk i’ve ever felt!” he shrugged as to say no big deal but you knew he secretly liked it from the way he kept eyeing it, just not enough to admit vocally. you’re the only person he could tolerate wearing his clothes, so sue him for not being able to wear anything else in your house for some days until they got clean. “think about it; if you marry me, we’d share the same last name, eh? eeeh?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

he huffs, a playful smile gracing his features. “oh, you would just love that, wouldn’t you? have a little field day?” he raises an eyebrow as he takes another bite of cake, his voice full of mock amusement.

a brown cat hopped onto the table, your little corner now surrounded by the cute animals. almost all of them taking complete interest in your dear prince. rubbing their warm bodies against him as if they had been waiting their whole life for him to show up. one by one, they hop onto him, sniffing at his neck as if he were their food and he sat stiffly. you on the other hand indulged your one kitten with satisfying scratches under its chin, staring in pure adoration as a cat rubbed its face against leona’s cheek. you had to take a few pictures, it was a must have in your camera roll.

“papa cat with his litter of kittens.” you cooed softly as you snap another picture.

leona’s ear flicked in irritation, “cheka is enough.”

ITS SPA DAY !

MONTH IV

leona was already suspicious when you willingly lead him to your room, even more when you pat your lap. what is he, some cat? still laid down though, a win is a win. its crazy how comfortable he’s gotten with you. so comfortable, he’s letting you card your heavenly hands through his thick mane to pin it back for whatever substance you’re going to rub onto his face.

leona’s right eye spontaneously closed as you neared his face with a dropper, the glass tube smeared its cool continents on his cheek. “what’s this one? part ninety-nine of glass skin treatment?”

lord knows he doesn’t need it, he already has glass skin, it was just an excuse to poke n prod his squishy cheeks. you didn’t bother do answer, instead rolling your eyes and rubbing the serum onto his skin. its been what, twenty minutes? leona hasn’t fallen asleep, mostly because he’s staring at you. the dim lighting made your skin glow, made you glow. in the dark, you were a star that would have burned down by now if not for a miracle or magic spell, was he that spell? like an angel or an extraterrestrial. your stare was hypnotic. your stare made him forget everything around him, your gaze made him lose his footing. he felt himself moving forward and backward at the same time, the air between you became charged.

“you have a weird taste in roommates, herbivore.”

your hands pause at the curve of his neck, then move up to run through his thick hair. your touch made his skin flush, his breath hitch at a low frequency. you grin, “mm, yeah? is that right?”

his eyelids flutter at the feel of your thumbs rubbing over his temples, “you’re doing the thing again.” he breathes out. you chuckle, “the thing? the temple rubbing thing?” “your little thing, the smile and that voice thing.”

“ohh…” you roll your tongue against the roof of your mouth before smiling wider, “should i stop?”

he doesn’t respond right away, the moment stretches into minutes. he’s fading in and out of dreamland and wanting to stay awake for more of your touch. “jus’ a bit longer.”

RAINY DAY IN, MOVIE NIGHT ?

MONTH V

you two actually had plans to go to out but when opened the door for you just for it to be absolutely pouring outside, he settled for a movie. you got all the blankets while leona got all the snacks. what movie you both were watching? he doesn’t know, you make a phenomenal pillow though.

the tv was basically just murmuring, your vision unfocused as your hand absently played with leona’s hair. you knew that once he lied down, he was going to fall asleep. his whole weight flush against your body and cheek smooched into your chest, his tail swishing slowly showing he was awake in some way. you shift your head to look at him, catching a whiff of sweetness from his hair. some sadness settled in the pit of your gut. leona wasn’t always going to be here, he had to return to his studies and his royalty business. you couldn’t keep him even if you tried.

“did you fall asleep or are you upset, herbivore?”

his voice startled you out of your revere, you hummed in response, his words not quite processing correctly.

“your heartbeat slowed and you stopped playing with my hair.” he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. you hadn’t even noticed you stopped stroking his head. you turn his head to hold his face in your hands, his eyes droopy from sleep. those eyes doing the unimaginable to your heartstrings. “you gotta to go back, don’t you?”

leona gives you a slow blink, his hand resting over yours. “‘course i do.” he yawns.

it was a really selfish thought, wanting to keep him forever. if you had the chance you would carry him in your pocket at all times.

“here,” leona removes his hand from yours, taking something from his pocket and holding it up for you to see. its a ring, its silver color catching the light from the tv. on his ring finger was a slightly bigger one, matching pairs. “its a promise ring.” he takes your hand from his face to slide it onto you but you pull your hand away. he’s confused at your reaction, looking at you like you’ve grown an extra head. your eyes are glossed over, tears forming. something was screaming that it was too early, that he was moving too fast. then your lips lifted into a grin, you laugh but they come out shaky. “its a promise ring, you gotta make a promise, leo.”

“you’re so sappy.” he frowns albeit the blanket of relief blanketing over his heart. he takes your hand once more, securely this time. “i promise to come back.” he places a kiss to the pad of your ring finger before sliding the silver band onto it, returning your hand to his cheek and pressing a firmer kiss to your palm. you watch the silver bleed into a rose color, a soft vibration in your finger when leona’s changed as well. you smile widely, tears streaming down your face. emotions flew and popped like fireworks throughout your body, uncontainable, freed. you laugh as he leans his forehead onto yours, wiping your tears with his thumb and letting out a few purrs of content.

“you’re really happy, huh? so happy you’re shedding tears for me?” “mmhmm, shut up. lemme enjoy this, enjoy you. please?” “as you wish.”

LAST, BUT NOT FINAL, GOODBYES

MONTH IV

welp, its time to say goodbye. you had your ups and— well, mostly ups, you never fought with leona. by the time you had helped leona pack his stuff and belongings, it was past noon. he looked the least bit of interested and you were doing most of the moving. in his own way of saying he doesn’t want to leave, he lazes on the couch and sometimes tugs you down with him.

“you’re sure you have your toothbrush, your expensive hair products, everything?”

leona let out a pained groan from the couch, his ring finger buzzing. “herbivore, you’re stressing.” your eyes flicked to the band on his finger, the color fading to a wine red.

he held his arm out to you, to which you inhaled, held it, then let it out through your mouth when you were under the warmth of his arm. “i know… i just want to make sure you don’t forget anything, leo.” your voice was muffled as you breathed into his chest.

“if i forget anything important, id buy a new whatever it is. you’d want it more though, for when you’re missing your better other half.” leona nudged his chin into your head and you visibly relaxed against him. he let himself sink into the softness of your body, wrapping his arms around you, his fingers trailing up and down your back in a soothing pattern. a thrum shooting through both of your fingers signaling a color change in the rings.

…then the sound of buzzing from the coffee table.

leona curses, apologizing as he reached to get it. taking a glance at the screen he sighs, patting your hip. “that’s my ride.”

he had already shipped off his heavy luggage to night raven so the only thing left to do was wish him off. its not the last goodbye, you’d see him again. only through a screen and through texts before he has his next break and can see you again. you stood on your front porch, shifting your weight from leg to leg while you worried your lip. he eyes you, slowly opening his arms just for you to pounce on him. enclosing your limbs around his body as tightly as you could, your face pressed into his neck, your hands gripping the fabric of his jacket. he chuckles, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “you better come back.” you mutter.

leona sets you down, wiping any incoming tears from your eyes. “i promised, didn’t i?”

your lips curl up in a watery smile. he pulls away from you, making his way to the car waiting in the parking lot. you had this stupid little grin on your face when you noticed the happy whip in his tail from the interaction. halfway to his ride, leona stops, turning on his heel and sprinting back to you, yelling that he had forgotten something. you were already beginning to scold him but was quickly silenced by his lips. he kisses you sweetly and with enough passion to rival that of the sun, his hand gently cupping your cheek, thumb running across the skin there. you lean forward, melting into the kiss, and the two of you finally separate after what felt like an eternity. his eyes are glistening, a slight sheen over them betraying his emotional state, but you had no qualms about kissing him, even after the short months. it still makes you dizzy when you see the love radiating from his eyes.

“you got a partner in six months? are you fucking kidding me?!”

you peek over leona’s shoulder, a boy with short fluffy hair and blue eyes, big hyena ears from his messy hair yelling from the car window. just like leona described him, ruggie. your prince kisses under your eye, his demeanor quickly changing as he faced ruggie. “you have no game, that’s all. don’t blame me for being simply better.” leona states calmly.

only when the car pulled off did you notice your ring beaming gold, magic swirling beneath the thick material.

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[quennofsblog]

Everything you let go

Sae Itoshi x fem!reader

Itoshi Sae is confused when his wife suddenly becomes ill.

Warning: normal things ; Sae here is already a professional player and is married with the reader and adult; They have children; sorry :( ; English is not my first language and there will probably be mistakes.

Notes: This is my first story on Tumblr (and any other place) so sorry for the bad plot... I hope you like it so enjoy😉. (This is the first story written that was never published, the first was Rosy cheeks by Suguru Geto.🫡

Sae couldn't believe what he was seeing, what was supposed to be a moment of great happiness, soon turned into a big concern for him.

Their second child was finally born, it took a long period of nine months to having a second blessing in your life, but if this is a blessing, why is the person who made it possible bleeding so badly?

Your second pregnancy wasn't one of the best, you were much more tired than the first, there were many more complications, but Sae thought it was normal, after all, no pregnancy is easy.

But he couldn't react when he saw blood coming out of his mouth straight to the fluffy blanket that wrapped his little baby, he saw in his eyes the despair in his eyes and soon he felt it too when you saw your body relax too much and his arms fall to his sides, his excellent reflexes reacting in time to catch the small human in his arms.

He looked at you in shock when he see your body passed out for a few seconds before quickly leaving with the baby to seek medical help.

...

"Sae-chan I don't have much time here..."

You exactly said that a few days before your wedding, Sae knew what those words could mean but didn't know why, he feels this tightness in his heart now for not asking anything at the time, maybe something could have changed-

"Sir Itoshi-san?" A middle-aged man appears around the corner to find Itoshi Sae with a sleeping baby in her lap sitting in uncomfortable hospital chairs. He didn't even know how much time had passed since he witnessed his sudden fainting spell, Sae could only think about what triggered his current state.

Then he looked up to meet the doctor's eyes that were already looking at him with some pity. "Yes? How is she?" The player asked with the coldest possible look that even the poor doctor shuddered before giving him the expected answer. "She's fine sir. But due to the stress of the pregnancy her illness has worsened and there may be complications in the future, you can go see her if you like." Soon the doctor left, leaving Sae almost on the verge of madness.

He got up quickly, gently squeezing the baby who didn't move the whole time, Sae could feel the small breaths on his neck, and he even caressed the small human, but his growing anger wouldn't allow it, when he just wanted explanations.

Finally opening the door of his room he found you looking through the open window and letting the wind ruffle your hair, for a moment he forgot his purpose there and just wanted to stop everything and stay in that place looking for its beauty, even after so many years, you could still manage to be the one to give him those damn heart palpitations that he always tried not to feel.

But it seems that the baby in Sae's arms also feels the mother nearby and soon the intense cries of a newborn baby are heard. Her head instantly turns to find her husband and baby, Throwing a gentle smile at the two, you beckoned them with your fingers to get them closer, knowing what was going to happen, you soon advanced.

"Don't even put on that pretty face, Sae-chan, you know my condition well." you extend your arms to indicate for Sae to give her the baby that wouldn't stop crying, Sae hands it to her without saying anything and watches her lift her blouse and feed the baby who soon calms down.

Sae keeps looking at you waiting for explanations from you. "I told you I didn't have much time, did I? I have this plague even before I met you, and well it's gotten worse since the birth of Akira, I just didn't want to worry you or Akira and even this cutie, it is not Muroko-chan?" You said caressing the little hands, while the baby held one of your fingers and had her eyes closed, already ready to fall asleep in her mommy's arms.

"If that was the goal, it failed... a lot, you selfish idiot." Fortunately, her anger was already gone, and Sae approached the bed, sitting on it, coming close to her head and planting a kiss in her hair. Turning your attention to you "And now what will become of you huh? The doctor said this disease got worse..." He got it his eyes fall a bit into sadness. "What's now?"

Your always impatient husband, how would you face him and say that soon he would leave, this disease directly affects the heart and you have had it forever and always prevented you from doing a lot of physical activity, and what cost you a body without much use, but on the other hand your intelligence helped a lot, since during a good part of your life, was Sae's assistant, since he was a minor in a new country (Not that you weren't too).

"Anything." You said softly smiling at Sae. "The doctor said I'll be under observation for a few days, then go home and get Akira with his brother and bring him here, I miss my favorite boy, can you do this for your dear wife?" you said with a teasing face.

Sae had never felt her frown grow so much.

...

"Mami!!" An excited Akira Itoshi runs towards the bed you are on and tries to climb up. You get close to the edge of the bed and lift him to sit on your lap, luckily he doesn't have his shoes on, even at 4 years old he's still light, the boy soon snuggles into your chest smiling brightly. "I miss you!!"

"Guess who missed your favorite little boy too" you hug him tightly and kiss his red hair, even after all this time you still couldn't believe that you were married to your management client and now had two children, even though the public didn't know anything, this life is a strange thing to think about in the past.

"And guess who had to hear all the way here 'Let's see mommy!'" Sae made fun of the joke that Akira made during the entire trip, walks over to greet you with a kiss on the head and squeezing Akira's head which was still on her chest, then sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Mami? Your big belly is gone!" Obviously the child has ignored her parent and pulled her head out of your cute grip and soon bothered to get answers from you.

"Really? Look over there." You point to the front of your bed where there is a crib with a little baby in it. "It's your little sister." You said softly, stroking her plump cheeks.

As if she'd been told a malicious secret, Akira's cheeks darkened a fluffy red, soon getting off his lap to crawl towards the crib.

"Uohh, she's so tiny, we haven't met yet but my name is Akira, A-K-I-R-A Itoshi, but you can also call me nii-chan." With the voice so cute and full of love to give her sister, the tears that welled up in her eyes said it all, seeing her oldest son love the idea of ​​being a big brother was just heartwarming.

"You're not going to cry now, are you? You snot." Even if he didn't show it, you knew very well that he was also emotional, of course, in the Itoshi way.

"What do you expect Sae? They're going to be such good friends." With hearts in your eyes, you take Sae's hand just to hold it. "He was so looking forward to meeting you, Sae-chan, can you bring her here for Akira hold Maruko-chan?"

"Of course your majesty~" He stepped off the ledge, and picked up Maruko-chan, motioning Akira to sit next to her mother.

The couple's eldest boy, who never obeys his father, is a mama's boy through and through, decided to obey just to hold on to his little sister.

"Are you happy Akira?"

"Yes mami! She's so cute." You placed Akira's arms just right to receive the youngest Itoshi, Sae placed her carefully, holding her at the bottom so the fragile baby wouldn't fall.

Akira was so happy looking at the baby in detail, but suddenly her expression of pure happiness turned into fear and distress.

"M-Mami, Papi? Whose is th-this weird fringe?"

The couple took a closer look, only to come across The fringe, Sae looked at her with the biggest face of disgust as you couldn't contain yourself and soon started laughing out loud.

Sae couldn't believe her daughter inherited those bangs from when he was younger and always tried to hide it.

"Akira, don't worry, it's your father's bangs from when he was a kid." You laughed even louder at the thought of your oldest daughter at school with her husband's weird bangs.

"I can't believe my own daughter has this thing, it's decided let's cut it."

"Não papi! É uma franja estranha m-mas fica bem nela não é mami?"

"Of course, it goes really well together, she even has the same hair color, you better accept it, Sae-chan~"

"But mami, she even has that weird dad face!"

"That's right! That 'I don't care about anyone, just to become the best midfielder in the world' face she is totally Itoshi Sae's daughter."

"Can you two stop talking about my similarities to Maruko-chan?"

"No."

...

Itoshi Sae woke up abruptly with his eyes almost bulging out, his chest rising rapidly as he looked across the bed and there was no one there, and no noise was heard from the rooms of his little house in the Spanish countryside.

Where the hell was your family?

A snap quickly went through his head when he discovered that in fact his family had fallen apart, and it was entirely his fault.

All the good and happy memories are just a beautiful wave of nostalgia that Sae wanted to live forever but-

Oh.

So it is.

It was all a dream.

Notes²:

Remembering that this is all fiction 🫵.

There will be a few mini chapters before part 2 to see this family's interaction (they are cute<3)

Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura.

I reinforce that English is not my first language and (I translated the story on Google translator because I don't trust my skills 💀) it has a high chance of having grammatical errors.

Bye 😘

[vintagebuckybarnes]

S'more Friends, S'more Fun

Pairing: Best Friend! Steve Rogers x Avenger! Best Friend! GN! Reader

Total Wordcount: 0.7K

Summary: Tony has arranged for all the Avengers to go on a trip so everyone can relax for a few days without thinking about saving the world. Once everyone is comfortable around the campfire, he brings out the marshmallows that will be used for roasting, and that’s when you discover your best friend, Steve, has never roasted marshmallows before. You’re happy to help him, as you’re always excited to show him the ropes of things he has never done before.

Tags & Warnings: Canon compliant, Avenger! Reader, genderneutral! Reader, references to a difficult childhood (non-graphic), found/chosen family trope.

Story Rating: Teen

Author's Note: Hi, welcome to my very first story written for Steve Rogers! I was in a very cozy mood when writing this, so I hope you will enjoy this fluffy piece with me. I also cannot stop staring at this GIF, as he looks adorable to the highest degree! 💜

Writing Prompts @fandombingo: Steve Rogers @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition: Fireplace

Tag List: If you'd like to be tagged in my stories, you can find my tag list here.

My blog is for adults (18+) only, and most of its content is intended for mature audiences. Remember that you are responsible for your media consumption. If my content is not your cup of tea, feel free to navigate to blogs other than mine.

In all honesty, you love saving the world and the people walking around, but a relaxing trip to a cabin in the woods with your closest friends and colleagues has to be a close second. The atmosphere is relaxed as everyone sits around a large, crackling fire as funny stories are exchanged about one another, laughter being the best medicine to the problematic time everyone has battled through the past few months.

You’ve always been looking for the feeling of family, and now that you’ve found it within the Avengers, you’re more than grateful than ever to have gone down this path in life. Though your childhood hasn’t always been easy, with you needing to hide your assassin abilities, you’re making up for it every day by spending as much time as possible with your chosen family.

Tony, who’s taken on the role of the Dad you never had from the day you met, smiles at you as you gaze into the fire, a sense of calm lying over you that makes him feel more proud than ever. Without him, you wouldn’t be where you are today, and when you meet his gaze, you immediately smile back at him, appreciation visible on your features.

“Who wants to roast some marshmallows?” he suddenly asks, and you immediately perk up at Tony, mentioning your favorite treat. You’ve always enjoyed roasted marshmallows, whether by themselves or in the form of s’mores, but you’ve never been able to get enough of them. As everyone enthusiastically agrees, you can’t help but notice that one person is less enthusiastic about the idea than the rest: Steve.

There’s no one sitting beside him on the log he’s occupying, as Bucky has moved to sit next to Natasha to make their conversation easier, so you get up to be able to plop down on the log next to your best friend. From the moment you and Steve met, there’s been an unexplainable connection, and it has only grown over the years, making the two of you nearly inseparable now.

“A penny for your thoughts?” you ask. You look up at Steve, the flames forming a golden-orange hue over his handsome features. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he tries to hide the embarrassment that’s threatening to show all over his face, his mind battling if he should tell you the truth or not. Though it’s relatively insignificant, he doesn’t enjoy admitting that he’s never done something.

“I- uhm… well,” he starts, his hand rubbing his neck as he’s trying to find the words to say he’s never done something as simple as roasting a marshmallow. You show him a kind smile as he looks at you, and that’s when he decides to go for it.

“I’ve never roasted a marshmallow before…” he says shyly, his cheeks turning bright red at the confession. A nervous chuckle is audible as he looks away, a bit anxious about your reaction. You surprise him with your response because you’re giving him one he didn’t dare to expect after everything he’s been through.

“Really? Well, in that case, I think it’s about damn time we change that, don’t you think?” you tell him with a broad smile, your hand lying on his arm in support. The simple touch is precisely what he needed to feel to know you mean it, and now he can’t stop himself from smiling, too. And that’s exactly how you explain to Steve how roasting marshmallows works.

With the first one, he held it too close to the fire, making it catch on fire in the process, which resulted in a burst of good-hearted laughter all around, but the second try is already a lot better. It’s still a bit more burned than he would have liked, but his pride in doing this makes him not mind the burnt taste.

“Thank you for explaining; I deeply appreciate it,” Steve says before eating the third one. A satisfied hum leaves his lips as the gooey marshmallow is now nearing perfection. He has rarely felt safer and more comfortable in his life, and he’s happy to share this moment with you, Bucky, and the other Avengers, as they’re his found family, too.

Navigation ~ Steve Rogers Library

GIF: Source ~ All the other graphics you see on this post are made by @vintagebuckybarnes.

[hawkinasock]

TELL US ABOUT YOUR OTHER AUS (IF ABLE AND WILLING AND YOU WANT TO) ‼️‼️‼️

Tread carefully, Anon... Once I start yapping, I can't stop (jokes on you tho, I love yapping. Let's go)

I assume you mean aus for HSR specifically? I've got a lot more for genshin, but to stop myself from going on massive tangents, I'll just stick to HSR. I'll keep them all as summaries and go into more depth if there's any interest. Ok here we go:

Chimera Yanqing has kinda become my whole thing now, but I've never actually mentioned the other characters that I've also made chimera forms for. Namely Jing Yuan.

He doesn't really have any lore...? Unlike Yanqing, I was too focused on making him look pretty, which is easy because it's Jing Yuan. I'll make an update if I add anything more to his lore, cause I'd hate to just leave him unfinished forever. I do have a chimera Yunli au too, which I'll also save for another time. (Also keep in mind that he has wayyyy more fur than what I've shown. It just would've made his actual form unclear. He is very, very fluffy, canonically)

Mara-struck Yanqing (aka How the general ate the cabbage). Made a whole fic for this one, the plot is in the pudding, and by pudding I mean my ao3 lol. Instead of deflecting Jingliu's ult, Yanqing is instead killed and mara-stricken, and everything falls apart from there. Keeping it vague since it's still in progress. As of writing this, I'm three chapters in, so check it out if you're interested <3

Band au. I actually forgot about this one until I went through my list. Basically, It's a modern au where the high cloud quintet were a huge band back in ye olden days of the mid 1980s until their downfall, where the lead singer (Baiheng) is killed in an accident, triggering a series of unfortunate fates for 3 of the 4 remaining members. Jing Yuan is the only member still working in the industry and adopted Yanqing roughly 20 years after the the HCQ's fallout. One day, though, after years of no contact, Blade comes back into Jing Yuan's life, seeking refuge from law enforcement, and it all tumbles out of control from there after Jing Yuan accepts. The rest of the story would follow a very suspicious Yanqing wondering what the deal is with his dad's weird new boyfriend, and eventually reuniting the 4 remaining members (getting the band back together, as Phineas would say). There is SO much lore for this one, but it would take up this entire post to explain, so I'll probably just make it into its own post (with designs ofc). Tbh I haven't done as much work on this one as the others simply because I just don't know that much about music? Zel does though, so if I ever come back to it, I can go to him as a consultant.

Kind of an odd one, but I'm including it since it sorta counts, and I've become pretty fond of it over time. Mom Lumine au(s) Xiaother being Yanqing's dads is one of my favorite little crack aus. This au is the brainchild of imagining Yanqing as Lumine's child instead, but me as the author not enjoying xiaolumi as much. Thus, this was born. There's not really a story? Just a bunch of loosely put together concepts with multiple potential narratives that I find fun. Most of the time I default Childe as Yanqing's bio dad. In a weird way, it makes sense in my head? Yanqing resembles Lumine and uses a sword, and has that same go-getting, battle-hungry attitude as Childe, with all the knock-outs to boot. I mainly imagine chilumi as this interstellar crime duo; the Bonnie and Clyde of space, if you will. Because, honestly, if Yanqing's parents are ever to be revealed, would it not be the funniest thing for them to turn out to be criminals? I think it's hilarious, because Yanqing himself would be mortified.

Guardian Blade/Stellaron Hunter Yanqing au. These names are kinda lazy cause I usually don't make official titles for them unless their a fic, which this one happens to be. Here, Yanqing is an abomination of abundance, and as my interpretation usually goes, the only person who knows about this is Jing Yuan. Him and one other - blade, who was confided in the secret shortly after Jing Yuan had taken baby Yanqing in. Jing Yuan made Blade promise that, should the truth ever be uncovered and Jing Yuan punished, Blade is to take Yanqing and protect him. And years down the line, when the truth does finally reveal itself, Blade fulfills his promise. Theoretically, Yanqing would then join the stellaron hunters, albeit unenthusiastically. I haven't actually made any plans for that concept outside of a single one-shot. I still need to finish the actual fic first lmao.

Mara-struck Jing Yuan au. Probably the least original one I have to offer, because there's nothing particularly unique about it aside from one little twist I added that I think differentiates it, and that's that Yanqing doesn't actually kill Jing Yuan, or vice versa. Instead, Jing Yuan, in his current state, attacks everyone and everything except for Yanqing, and actually goes out of his way to keep Yanqing away from danger. The way I rationalize this (and this is me stretching the mara lore a LOT) is that Yanqing is so important to Jing Yuan that he creates a sort of blind spot to the mara when present; he is both innately precious and harbors only positive memories in Jing Yuan's mind, so in a way, he retroactively contradicts the way mara-struck!Jing Yuan would normally perceive him, seeing Yanqing as something to protect rather than attack (i hope that made any sense </3). This would probably never actually happen in canon. I just really like the idea of Jing Yuan's love for his son being so strong that it stays with him even after he's gone mad and can no longer remember what Yanqing means to him.

Progenitor au. Saved this one for last because it's been occupying my entire brain for the past few days. It's based on Dillongoo's Progenitor Albedo series, and by based, I mean it's just the same au, same universe and everything, but HSR. I won't go into the details because I'm planning to make it its own dedicated post as well, but I think its safe to say its becoming my favorite au out of all of these. I already have some designs and original lore cooked up, so hopefully I can post about it soon.

I think that's all of them? Debatable if some of these even count as aus, but who cares. I hope you enjoyed my rambles and found my ideas interesting enough to read through. I'm hoping to eventually give them some more life and make actual content with them.

Till next time <3

[lazyalani]

| Blue Lock

| Them as Taylor Swift song lines

| fluffy, becuz taylor swift is life itself, i refuse to believe reo and chigiri arent swfities, swearing cuz its me, i had to redo this cuz tumblr literally deleted the first one :'), slight angst? I like the old version of this better :(

Ft. Reo, Nagi, Chigiri, Aiku, Sae, Rin, Bachira, Ness, Kaiser, Otoya, Yukimiya, Isagi

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

REO "you've got a smile that could light up this whole town" - you belong with me

Man you can't tell me his smile just not sends you to cloudnine. That one panel of him smiling at Nagi got me cursing that bitch for making Reo cry. He's so precious I'm crying. Nagi better have tripped 50 times after walking away from him. His smile is so genuine. Reo is so easy to read off field. His emotions are always easily seen based on his expressions and how he acts. Just by looking at his face and eyes, you could really tell how he feels. The way his face lights up and his eyes sparkle when he smiles got butterflies on my tummy. Fuck you Nagi.

MEGURU "we're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way" - 22

Bachira is always a mix of emotions. I genuinely believes he can feel and handle a lot of emotions at the same time and still only show one, and he chooses what to show. He's always smiling or calm despite the chaos on field and everything. He's so chill. He'd be the fun person to be around everytime. He's a flexible person. He could be fun when it's the mood, and bring out his lonely feeling when you talk deep. But he's so optimistic he lits up the mood again. He's the type to just go with the flow of anything and worry about something when it's there. The fact that he finds a way to make himself kind of okay is amazing cuz I would honestly lash out on everyone in the field.

RIN "back then we didn't know, we were built to fall apart" - the very first time

Ah, he's definitely the angsty childhood friends to strangers trope. The moment Sae broke him he was bound to break everything around him. Even if he hurts people unintentionally, the damage is still done, no? He inherited his brother's sharp tongue and bad attitude so if you aren't a masochist or a simp, better stay away cuz this man could make you cry with a sentence. It doesn't really help that he literally grew up all over Sae. It's not like Rin is the type to say "go away cuz you're distracting me from my revenge" or something, but his change drives people away from hi.

SEISHIRO "it's me, hi. i'm the problem it's me" - anti-hero

Literally sucks at communicating. He'd be the person who would slack off at communicating and do whatever he wants when he thinks you know him enough. He's probably think you know he'd buy a new house when he complains about the broken cieling. You better get that laziness out of your spoiled ass and start trying harder AND IF YOU DONT WANT REO ILL TAKE HIM. Get your game face on GET YOUR GAME FACE ON. Don't confuse and play with my Reo's feelings you asshole.

HYOMA "i'm captivated by you baby like a firework show" - sparks fly

You cannot tell me you don't internally scream when you see this pretty man. I believe in Chigiri Hyoma supremacy, I believe that he gets all the attention he deserves everywhere he goes, and I refuse to believe that no one in blue lock had even a slight crush on him. He's just so pretty and gorgeous and cute and talented and fast and charming and dreamy and fast and red. Please let me touch your hair you can kick me afterwards. I went into daydream mode the first time I saw him.

EITA "goodbye, mr. perfectly fine, how's your heart after breaking mine?" - mr. perfectly fine

I don't even have to explain. I would've burned his whole soul down if he did that to me.

AIKU "long story short, it was the wrong guy" - long story short

Don't even get me started on this one. He's so obvious. Tbh, in real life, you'd be pretty stupid if you didn't notice sooner. Getting with him on a committed relationship, a fubu, or a fwb would be a risky 50/50 if you're weak for guys like him, better run, but if you're a flagpole then why not? You could fall for him for all he cares, he just wants to have fun.

SAE "why'd i have to break what i love so much?" - afterglow

Now he'd defnitely be the one to lash out. Aside from the Rin drama, if Sae had a childhood sweetheart or something like that, they would either end up like Rin or slowly experience and see the change in Sae. From his usual teasing manner to the dry, lesser and lesser text and messages. He'd be the type to lash out and tell you to go away when you pry too much for his taste. Sharp tongued, bad attitude, sharper actions, so realistic to the point that he does so much damage around him and what's worse is that he doesn't care. He knowd what he's doing and he just doesn't care enough. It's not he doesn't love or like Rin or his 'if' childhood sweetheart, it's just the way he is after his change. He's like a fire burning everything on his path, and he just keeps going.

YUKIMIYA "darling, i fancy you" - london boy

Like, have you seen this man? He's a 3 in 1. Angst, Fluff and Sm-- hehehehe. He's so pretty, soft boy at first look and then sexy at the second, then angsty health drama in the third. My yukki is so strong for handling his sickness so well :') come here and lemme give you a hug.

MICHAEL "he's so obsessed with me and, boy, i understand" - i think he knows

Ness, I completely understand, it's completely justified. This man is gorgeous and he fucking knows it. He's probably the center of attention when he walks in and he loves every bit of it. BUT THE NEXT TIME HE BULLIES NESS IM RIPPING OF THAT REMAINING HAIR ON HIS BACK :D Aside from him annoying himsagi everytime and being a menance to everyone, who wouldn't love him? Talented, handsome, and don't even get me started on that 300M.

ALEXIS "'cause darling i'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream" - blank space

Oh boy only a little more and he's gonna fucking snap and rip himsagi's neck off. His smile is so babyboy and innocent but when he closest his eyes you better run. Many people probably think he's just one of those die hard Kaiser defenders who bark and be a stupid, good for nothing moron in the field but my Ness is very strong and boy he BITES. Reo version 5. Kaiser, make up your mind seriously, I'll take him if you don't want him.

YOICHI "i swear i don't love the drama, it loves me" - end game

Pretty self-explanatory. I feel so bad for him. My boy just wants to play soccer and suddenly he's a double love story antagonist and a brother stealer :') ever since Rin and Nagi came into the picture he lost Bachira. Like, just go away and give him back Bachira. Then there goes Kaiser and Ness drama, an upgraded version of reonagi. Reonagi drama level 3. Cuz level one is them, them level two is Kunigiri. GIVE HIM THE BALL AND LEAVE HIM ALONE. Need to build a government himsagi protection squad cuz Ness is probably gonna break his legs sooner or later.

[stellar-solar-flare]

A Fairytale Of A Disaster| Chapter 3/4 | Steve Rogers x doctor!Reader

Explicit - 18+ only - Minors DNI.

Your friend set you up with a perfect guy. Unfortunately, when it's time for you to meet 'Grant' for the first time, he has stood you up. On Valentine's Day of all days.

Was it too good to be true? Or does he instead have a very, very good reason why he's late, and a desire to make it all up to you?

Fluff, hurt/comfort, meet-cute, misunderstandings, eventual smut, healthy communication. | Background Sam Wilson/OFC.

FIC MASTERLIST | AUTHOR MASTERLIST | AO3

<< Previous chapter

Story Content Warnings: Discussion of Steve's canonical trauma; mentions of Steve/Peggy.

Reader Specifics: She/her, late twenties (a few years younger than Steve in this fic). Training to be a trauma surgeon (has completed med school, in residency stage). Likes books and houseplants. No description of appearance (other than clothes and such), no use of Y/N.

Alternate Universe: The Avengers Initiative continued SHIELD's work after its collapse to corruption. The Avengers are living together in the Compound - Bucky has healed, and Civil War never happened because Tony and Steve worked through their differences like adults.

Story Notes: I wanted to write a Valentine's Day oneshot, and then it turned out it has parts. Oh no. Well, here we are. I hope you enjoy this fluffy little trope collection! As always, thank you for reading, and hearing what you think means a lot to me.

I do not own anything Marvel related. This is an unofficial fan work. No copyright infringement intended. This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

Chapter 3: The Royal Castle

Chapter Notes: Thank you for your patience, and enjoy the new chapter! As always, thank you for reading, and I'm happy to hear from you!

2,395 words.

Even as you’d already caught glimpses of the beautiful marble counter tops and professional grade kitchen equipment from the pictures that Steve had shared with you, it still felt a little surreal to step into his space in the Avengers Compound.

“You have a beautiful home,” you said, pausing to take  all of it in.

It was a two-bedroom apartment at the very end of the Compound, with a patio that looked out onto the river. It was too dark to make out the scenery through the windows that covered the back wall from floor to ceiling, but it could be assumed that they bathed the space  in natural light. The great room opened in front of you as a tasteful combination of dark hardwood floors and cream-colored upholstery, complete with navy blue accents and a few selected pieces of artwork hung on the walls. On your right, the whole wall was covered by a built-in bookshelf made of mahogany , save for two doors that led into what you assumed were the bedrooms; the bathroom door was next to the entrance on your left. There was a wood fireplace at the back of the room acting as a centerpiece for the sitting area, and you could see that the furniture and the large kitchen island were placed in a way that made it easy for someone working in the kitchen to talk to those who were sitting down.

The idea of curling up on the couch next to Steve, with a lovely fire going in the fireplace, made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as if you had already been sitting there and not just imagining it.

You hadn’t met even Samuel, let alone Bucky Barnes or Natasha Romanoff, but you were familiar enough with the Avengers Initiative to know that the four of them formed some sort of rapid task force that worked together. Despite their fearsome professional reputations, it was surprisingly easy to see all of them hanging out here, lounging and laughing with drinks in their hands, and enjoying the time out of the spotlight.

Everything about this felt like a sanctuary, a place he’d built for himself when the limelight got too harsh for his eyes.

“Thank you,” Steve said earnestly. “I’ve tried to make it into a safe haven of sorts. Can I take your coat?”

You’d stopped halfway through shedding the piece of clothing, having untied the belt and unbuttoned it, but it was still hanging on your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you said, but before you could move to give it to him, Steve was already on it.

The fabric of your dress was thin enough that you could feel how warm his hands were when he wrapped his fingers around the coat at the shoulders. But he didn’t linger; as soon as you moved your arms back, he gently pulled the coat off and turned to hang it in the hallway closet. Through its mirror doors, you caught a glimpse of how endearingly focused he had appeared for such a simple task — it must’ve been one of those things that were actually important to him and not for show, a part of the old-fashioned nature he had been very direct about in his messages.

Old-fashioned indeed. You hadn’t quite guessed just how old-fashioned.

You bit your lip, grateful for the fact that your lipstick could handle it and not smudge. Steve’s presence was sending your head spinning, and after sharing the fish and chips with him on the way for a quick snack, you had a whole different kind of appetite. The tang of vinegar still lingered on your tongue, sweetened with the taste of all the memories you’d ended up sharing with him — during the drive, there had been plenty of time to exchange personal stories, even as you’d done a lot of that over the endless stream of messages that had been going back and forth between you.

“I don’t know if I said it already, but you look truly beautiful,” he said, stealing a glance at you via the mirror as he slid the door closed.

His low, earnest voice shot down your spine, all the way to your toes that curled at the compliment, and you were grateful that your red pumps were close-toed. The effect he was having on you was almost embarrassing, but with the way he lingered near you, the way he had looked for excuses to touch even as he hadn’t been one bit slimy about it, had you hoping that the feeling was shared.

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m glad you like it. I thought maybe…”

You cut yourself off and lowered your gaze, swallowing as if doing that would summon the words back. Of course, it didn’t, and you could hear the worry in Steve’s voice, could imagine his forehead creasing as you kept your eyes on the hardwood floor.

“Thought what?”

“Never mind,” you said, giving him a dismissive shake of your head. “It’s not a big deal.”

You hadn’t meant to mention it to him, as it had simply been one of the woe-is-me thoughts that had run through your head while you had been waiting, thinking you’d gone to all this trouble for nothing. But as you cursed your slippery tongue, it was obvious that Steve wasn’t just going to simply let it go, not unless you explicitly told him that you didn’t want to talk about it.

“Hey,” he said softly.

He reached over, caressing your jaw with two fingers to tip your face back up, and when you gave in, his hand just stayed there, the warmth of his palm cupping the left side of your face. The creased brow you had imagined was there, above eyes that were soft and slightly worried.

“Tell me?” he murmured.

Well, it was not like this night hadn’t had its fair share of awkward confessions already. You were out of practice when it came to the dating game, but you hadn’t quite imagined something like this when you had been preparing for the date.

“It’s a little silly,” you sighed, and it still wasn’t the no that would’ve gotten him to back off — one you weren’t so certain you wanted to give him.

Not when he looked at you like that, as if he had all the time in the world, as if his broad shoulders could carry whatever worries you had been dragging with you. As if he wanted to take those off you just like he’d taken your coat.

“I’d still like to hear?” he said. “Only if you want to share, of course.”

You sighed. Perhaps that lack of pressure made you want to tell him. He’d already spilled out some of his insecurities ; that made you feel like you could be a human in his presence.

“Well, the last message I sent you before you went radio silent was that mirror selfie,” you sighed. “So while I waited, and didn’t know what happened, I thought… That maybe that was why you didn’t show up. Because you didn’t like the dress, or… how I looked .”

You might as well have struck him across the face, based on the reaction. The worry in his expression gave way to horror, and his other hand came up to your face, too. He stepped closer, fully cradling your face and tilting it slightly up, and it was so fast that you could only open your mouth in surprise. His eyes flew down to your now parted lips before he snapped his gaze back up.

“Oh, no, doll,” he breathed out. “Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do after receiving that picture was to stand you up. It was…”

It was his turn to swallow, but just like in your case, that didn’t magically summon the words back. Doll. You liked the sound of that — from the lips of someone else, it might’ve sounded all sorts of icky and objectifying, but the way he said it was so gentle, like a caress. He was still grimy, and he wouldn’t get really close because of that. Or, as you reminded yourself, this was a man who had grown up during a very different era of dating and he had emphasized how he hadn’t asked you to come here to get under your skirt.

But that didn’t mean that he didn’t want anything physical. Not wanting you to feel pressured and not wanting you were definitely not the same thing, and you allowed yourself to even venture as far as thinking that his consideration might be something more than just good manners. After all, if he was so worried about coming across as too forward, then he must’ve thought there was a reason to watch his act around you; that if he didn’t, he might slip, and follow his more primal and less gentlemanly instincts.

It felt logical. You were smart. You were good at logic. Even as keeping a train of thought together when Steve’s large hands were cradling your face was proving to be rather challenging.

“It was what?” you whispered, barely able to get the sound out.

“It was something that made me ask if I’m dreaming, with having a lady that smart and gorgeous give dating me a chance. I’ve hardly been able to get that image of you out of my mind the entire night. And yet it still didn’t do justice to how beautiful you look when you’re standing here right in front of me.”

You licked your lips, breathing out to give your jammed brain a second to process the sentences — and move on from the words get, you, and off falling from Steve’s mouth in the context of something to do with your physical body. It wasn’t anything like a secret to you anymore that he was a man of honesty, and apparently that also applied in the way he talked; you didn’t doubt for a moment that he really felt all that about you, and your cheeks burned with excitement at the thought of him being struck by your beauty.

“Well, I’m actually a little surprised there wasn’t a line at the door,” you said. “When we were texting, I was like half-convinced that you have to be a serial killer or something, because no one like you can actually be single.”

“Is this a bad time to ask you to tour the walk-in freezers of the compound?” Steve grinned, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

The shared moment of laughter over his stupid joke lifted the atmosphere, and you managed to smile despite still feeling dumbfounded by his comment. He straightened up a little, seemingly realizing the position that you were in and that he was lingering, and let his hands slowly slip away from your face. Ever a gentleman. You kept looking at him with a smile on your face, letting him know you hadn’t minded any of that.

“But I’m glad you found me beautiful. And smart.”

“How could I not, when you are both?” he replied, and the slightly flirtatious smile that sparkled in his eyes was going to be the death of you.

There were worse ways to go. Steve was watching your reaction, calibrating his strategy according to the things he saw on your face, and whatever he did see, it was obvious he was quite liking it. The heat still lingered where he had touched, and it was spreading all over your body, making you crave  more.

“I was thinking, we could watch a movie after I make us some food? The Compound network has every streaming service imaginable, and — I don’t know how, and I don’t want to know how — Tony has managed to get access to some of the stuff that’s still in cinemas. Of course, if you’d rather I take you to the movies another evening to see something, I would be happy to.”

“I think it might be nicer if it was just us two,” you said. “Easier to talk or take a break or something. So yes. Movie sounds great.”

Your cheeks burned as the choppy sentences left your mouth — this awkwardness was rather new to you, something you weren’t usually struggling with to this level. You were blaming the disrupted verbal processes on the way Steve’s eyes were gleaming in the bright light of the hallway, and the gentle hint of a musky scent that floated around him, something that made your mouth water. It had been a long day and no doubt emotional-roller-coaster-like day for him, and yet his full attention was now on you, as if the entire world outside the door of his apartment could wait, as if nothing could be more important than this.

You found yourself agreeing with the thought.

“Alright, then,” he said. “How are you feeling about barbecue chicken baguettes? Had I known you’d be over, I would’ve prepared, made a marinade for the chicken but there’s some pretty decent sauce in the fridge that I made the other day, and chicken breasts, and the freezer has pre-baked bread?”

“That sounds great,” you replied. “Especially for impromptu food.”

“I like to keep the place well-stocked. Obviously, there are 24/7 restaurants and stores right here on the AI Campus, but I like knowing that I have food at home when the days are long.”

“Not having to decide that after you’re out of brainpower?” you asked, and he nodded. “Yeah, I get that.”

He smiled, tugging at some sort of hidden mechanism in his suit, so that the collar got looser — as if he had unbuttoned the top button of a jacket. You glanced at the now-exposed crook of his neck, wondering how his scent would be right there, what kind of sound he’d make for you if you caressed it with your lips, or tongue, or teeth.

If Steve realized where your attention had gone, he didn’t show it. You needed to get a grip — he had backed off from cradling your face, it was likely he wasn’t comfortable with taking this anywhere beyond those kind of simple touches, not tonight. He was obviously interested in you and found you attractive, so you’d wait for the right moment.

“Alright, back after a shower and a change of clothes,” he smiled. “Make yourself at home, doll.”

Next Chapter >>

[literally-noone83]

Supernatural Headcanons: Receiving Affection (1/?)

About: female!reader×platonic!everyone, teenage/young adult reader, reader's love language is touch: hugging, hanging off the boys' shoulders, falling asleep on their shoulders and the like :) just wholesome things (with some angst).

Word count: It's a long a one...

Warning: Angst, Shouting, other than that it's just fluffy :)

A/n: This reallt isnt a head cannon tbh. Started with an idea, created an OC then a background and then and then and then — it spiralled into this mess haha.

I meant to go further - provide that conclusion to create a holistic narrative... but it's already really long and atm felt uninspired to keep going with it. So we wait, sorry !

Welp, enjoy!

Let's imagine your love language is touch. The crave and the lingering need to touch, hug, lean on, hold onto someone, some one you felt safe around and loved by was a instinct you've always had.

Surrounding yourself with some of the most emotionally stunted and constipated people — emotionally unavailable car, pie and ACDC loving hunter, his emotionally neglected brother and monotonous 'I don't understand the reason for handholds if you're not lost' angel boyfriend — your touchy feely nature was met half-heartedly.

Given the moment you first met them was amidst a series of tumultuously devastating events — one easy case turned bad, the loss of family was never easy on a adolescent. And for the most part that's all you were to them. Another poor young soul caught up in the cusp of a terrifying world Dean and Sam intended to protect. To save. It never came without consequence — it's just this time in came in the form of a teenager, tear stained and alone.

Dead of night, once the vampires who took your mother and little brother were resolved with a few knife swings and burning bullets — it was the embrace Sam offered that changed things.

You needed it. Solace, comfort. Something to keep you grounded.

The Winchesters would do more than offer a hug. Decisions and shots were called, arguments sure did occure — another mouth to feed, a head to look out for — but in the end life kept moving and this was all you had left; a reason, an opportunity, to help.

A Winchester. You were the rookie who could barely hold a gun. Then you were the amature that fought to fight; snooping for cases, sneaking out for a chance to shoot and to prove you can contribute. Couple years fly by and now you're family.

So many night spent trading stories, on the stupid shit Dean pulled and Sam moments of pubescent embarrassment among the pockets of normal school life, or your gems of memory with your mother you missed and a brother you had teased. The banter was rich on both ends — most prominently with Dean. It was just so easy. A grumpy old man who dished out the rules and stomped around with that voice of his — you couldn't help yourself.

*in Dean's voice* "Its too dangerous, me macho man will take care of it" *normal voice* "y'know I didn't realise you were one grey hair away from being my father..."

He lets out a humorless laugh, rubbing his chin and gesturing to you at Sam. "She thinks shes funny huh? youre real comedian— thats it!"

He chases you down the bunker and you run away. Deans yelling and your laughter ringing behind Sam.

Sam truly was enjoying to have someone on his side — till at times he wasn't so lucky. You and Dean were a little too powerful once you joined arms...

Amidst this new found family, Dean and Sam quickly noticed how much you liked to hug them... almost clingy.

Granted, it wasn't like you smothered everyone who walked into your life — with Dean and Sam it was different. They saved you, welcomed you, took care of you. You trusted them.

It qas noticeable during the early days of your stay. After long hunts when you were left behind, in security of the bunker, those hours felt like days and days felt like years. Crippling fear of losing the only formed tether of family and safety frightened you.

The moment the door clicked open, "Hey, Y/n, we're back," a bag of take out ready and jackets being torn off in lethargic movements of a day's struggle, "got some burgers and those curly fries as remembered and—"

Frantic steps and a leap, Dean was almost knocked down by the force of your hug. Wrapped around his neck, face buried in his collar. "Woah there, Kid." He stumbled and huffed from the suddenness.

"Y/n? you ok?" Sam asked at your long passing moments in embrace. Words of gladness and "Thank god"s poured from your lips, stepping back to look at how they're really here. Alive. Safe. The brothers noted it was probably because of your family — you were dealing and I think they are one of few people who could really understand that.

However, this passing moment became everytime. They'd come home and you'd hug them briefly. Once you were coming with them than waiting patiently, you'd embrace them before bed.

Huddled around the table, Sam reading, Dean nursing a cold beer whilst flipping through a magazine as you ate and prompted Dean into weird topics of 'never have I ever - monster edition'. You'd bid yourself adue.

"I'm gonna hit the sack, weirdos." You'd walk around to them. "Enjoy your light reading, Sammy. And enjoy your pervy magazine, old man." Passing by, wrapping your arm their shoulders, affectionately nudging cheeks with them — Sam would accept them graciously, the loving gesture comforting to him. And Dean would simply hum at you, trying his best to look indifferent or exasperated by such contact. But you knew he silently enjoyed them, and Sam did especially; knowing his older brother, the boundary of affection was never crossed but from you — a semblance of a younger sister — was soothed but this entry of comfort. Shoulders slacked, posture less tense, you were a reminder of everything was okay.

"Now get off me - you need a shower."

When Castiel was around it, too, didn't take long before he was another victim to your embraces. Seeing how close Cas was to Dean and Sam, it meant he was good.

Late night car rides, slumped against the worn leather of Baby as the soft rock channel hummed alongside the murmuring engine pushing the hunters and a angel home. The orange street light continuously ran over their laps, exhaustion lingered in the vehicle — Dean's raw red knuckles were prominent, wrapped around the steering wheel. Sam sported a scrape on his cheek bone, exchanging hushed words between his brother and Castiel. Sat in the back with Cas, you couldn't bother chipping on the discussion. The headache you endured only just subsided, with just a bruise that ached at your side, both the dull music and gentle voices did well to block it. Soothing you into a lul.

"Someone's uncharacteristically quiet..." Sam humoured. The two shared a peak through the review mirror to catch your heavy eyes and tilting head you struggled to hold up. Dean couldn't help but smirk, chuckling under his breath at your disgruntled hum towards Sam.

"It's a nice change," he joked.

"Dean," Cas warned, glancing attentively to you, "She did a lot today."

"Yea... she did." He said silently proud. Of course she did.

Moments passed and next thing you know, Cas felt your held fall on his shoulder. Almost surprised, he didn't move an inch. Tossing and turning, laying on him finally made you settle. Staring down at you, he was glad to see you sleep — you took too many nights to sitting on thay laptop keen that every minute need not be wasted. And so he laid back a bit more comfortably, mindful on how much he moved. He understood, humans needed their rest.

Dean couldn't help but find it endearing.

The boys did their best to revieve your affection in stride. Cas was always naturally stiff when you slung your arm over his shoulders. Dean tried his best to act annoyed when you attack hug him from behind, and awkwardly patting your back. Sam never minded the time you'd sit beside him, leaning against his larger stature while he read or researched.

Then Jack showed up. Between losing Mary, Crowley, the fright of Cas' death and so much more — times weren't the easiest. Lucifer's son, the premeditated anti-christ that was the cease all life and goodness, the first day of getting to know Jack was a rocky path. While Sam continuously sympathised the young man and Dean couldn't even look at him, you remained initially indifferent. Just like your brothers, you were scared more than anything, grieving over the losses especially Cas — you didn't know what to think but you did know they needed you.

Jack noticed how you kept wrapping your arms around them every time you left off to somewhere or twist your twist your face into something warm at the much angrier man. It was so peculiar to him that he asked Sam when they were in the cellar, "why does she do that?"

"What?"

A look of seriousness worried Sam, "Do that - hold him. Dean." And he looked at him confused.

"You mean— she hugging him." Jack's face didn't change, "she's embraced him because she's worried about him," it sounded more like a question as he mimicked the gesture, "you embrace someone when you want to comfort them, or show them affection."

"'affection'?"

"It's means to show care for someone."

Jack looks at him, "She does it a lot." He noted.

Sam omitted a breathy laugh, "Yea. She does - she cares a lot, I suppose."

Soon your apprehension grew to empathy for the nephillum. His innocence and innate kindness baffled you at times. He borne no essence of evil - he rather carried Kelly's sweetness, and a fear that made you realise that Jack was far from anything like his father. He was just Jack.

The realisation settled within you as you sat on that crate where your breath transpired in the cold, facing Jack curled up beside the dumpster. Large shadows drew over his furrowed brows, deep with sadness and hurt as he said, "Maybe I'm not worth all this". Your heart sunk. All alone without the comfort of his mother and guidance of the angel she promised, made to feel like he was something he wasn't — worthless.

"Stop." The words escaped your lips faster than you could think and he stared at you saddened. "Don't..." You hesitated, too many things you want to say and you settle with reaching out a gentle hand. "Can I please uhm..." Jack slightly confused gave his hand at your hushed question. And he was surprised by your warm and firm grip; holding his palm with your other hand instantly clasping over his knuckles, you told him "Jack, you are worth all this..." staring intently into his eyes. "Sam thinks your worth it, so did Castiel, your mother. And so do I."

His eyes softened, and a small smile slipped onto your lips. Hope seeping into his features, he asked, "Really?"

"Really." You said.

That night you shared a room with Jack, agreeing with Sam things were too tense with Dean. You'd continue to be at Jack's side, speaking to him, answering his questions, simply being with Jack whilst mediating your brothers. Meaning, your constant defense of Jack caused a constant bickering and arguing with Dean. Unlike Sam the Diplomat, you two were almost explosive. Dean hated how close you'd stick by that thing, that freak; he was dangerous, he could hurt you! And you hated Dean's merciless disdain for him — always throwing warnings at the names and disregarding statements Dean would say without a thought with Jack.

At times, when Sam was with Jack, the moment he'd leave you and the eldest alone, stiff muttering of words escalated into loud yelling. Seething at each other until your red faced. Sam would always have to intervene, assuring Jack they're just "hot headed".

This anger festered into Dean's asserting orders; regulations, rules, reprimanding of your interactions with Jack. You were holding Jack's hand cause he seemed nervous, Dean would explicitly say no handing holding with devils. Alone in a room with him on an off chance again? Dean's dragging you out on errands or telling you to go to your room. Walking around the table offering your bidding night hugs, your affectionate squeeze on Jack's shoulder earned a warning glare from Dean.

You always made a face back, countering his overprotective as overbearing and stupid. When you finally had a go at him for it, Sam was out and there was nothing holding them back. You both pushed at each other to your limits. Comparing Jack to you when you some kid helpless and alone too, or Sam deemed bad before he could do any good, really sent Dean down the rails — because you're family. Jack is Lucifer's son, not you.

"Does he look like Lucifer's son to you, Dean?! He does nothing but be kind, gentle. He listens to your orders, he's even terrified of you!"

"And so he should be!" His voice booms with anger you hadn't heard from Dean till now and it shakes you. "You think I care that he can smile nicely at you, and say 'thank you' and 'sorry'? That doesn't matter. Cas is gone because of him, Mum is gone because of him. Wake up, Y/n, he can't change what he is and what he is, is a freak, an inevitable danger to you, to us, this entire freaking world- I'm sorry youre too damn stupid and niave to realise that." His starn, harsh words push past his lips in a burst of thoughts that seemed like he's been holding in forever, and he has to lean back for a moment to sigh. You stood there without moving, your eye glisten against your will as you swallow his words. He paused before turning to walk away without another word — the knife sunk a little deeper.

"I know you're hurting, Dean," your voice went small, and you caught him mid step. "but you're not the only one." His face grew sullen: he was too angry, too tired. He hadn't the energy to say or do something. Looking at you, he noticed your quivering lip you tried so hard to hide and instantly in his eyes you reverted back into that small 14 year old girl he and Sam decided to take under their wing. An image that flashed by and then you were walking away. To the other side of the bunker. And after a few heart beats, he did too.

Without either of you knowing, Jack had heard the entire altercation. Your purposeful steps rushed past him and you didn't see him — too busy fiercely wiping away escaping hot tears you didn't want. Jack had never seen you this upset and quietly he followed you to your room. He heard you slam the door shut and heard you sniffle inside. Hesitant he slowly cracked the door open to see your back facing towards him, sat on the edge of your unmade bed, silently crying.

A sensation of sorrowful guilt imbued in the centre of his chest. This was his fault wasn't it?

"Y/n?" His sudden appearance finally made known surprises you and you whip around. "Jack," your voice is thick with emotions, harshly sniffed back as your wiped your cheeks several times. "What are you..." You took a deep breath. Seeing his worried eyes you realised your attempt to appear unphased and normal was feeble — your eyes were puffy, flushed cheeks and red nose. And then it hit you, "I'm sorry, Jack. Sorry you had to hear that it's just, he's just..." you lett your hands fall to your lap defeatedly and head hung low. You looked him and flashed a weak smile, "Don't worry," Jack moved to sit on your bed, "It's just everything's a bit weird."

"I'm sorry." He finally said simply.

"What? Jack-"

"I'm sorry," he looked at you with those same eyes that night. "that you, Dean and Sam are hurting - because of me."

You shook your head, "No, no Jack, you have done nothing wrong, we're fine. We will work this out-"

"But you are crying, you are upset."

"I'm fine, Jack, don't-"

"Why are you lying?" He places a hand over yours, catching your evasive and scattered gaze. He pulls you to a halt, forcing you to meeting his big attentive eyes. They were so kind and gentle. And the warm of his hand stopped your racing heart. "You can tell me." He said softly and such simple words crashes over you. Your eyes locked onto his, you let silence hang in between as you soaked in this blooming comfort from someone you least expected it. It was overwhelming. And the longer you looked at him, all thoughts and emotions started to feel too real, too much, and your eyed began to well up in tears. Trying to blink them away made them fall faster and your gaze fell to his hand. "I- I'm sorry."

Your voice cracked and your instinctively tried to cover your face; to hide from Jack which you were sure you were confusing him even more with your immense and sudden outpour of emotions. You muttered your apologies, intending to turn to avoid overwhelming him further until the mattress dipped this way and there and a pair of arms embraced you. The foreign feeling of his body against yours made you hold your breath for a second — digesting the unexpected gesture of comfort from Jack and one that you didn't know you needed.

He held you firmly, his head tucked beside yours, eyes scrunched tight as if desperate to make you feel better. Seconds pass before you relent into his touch, wrapping your arms around his neck and burrying yourself away into the nape of his neck. And Jack squeezed you a little tighter.

You and Jack would stay like that for a while. Until your quiet sobs muffled into his shirt quietened down to weak sniffles and your arms loosened, feeling yourself wafting into sleep.

Once Sam came home from his grocery run, he was met by the unsuaul silence and brooding Dean who fixing himself a sandwich.

"Dean, I literally went shopping to cook now why are you-"

"'s not for me." He finished it before pushing it towards Sam, "Mind giving this to Y/n?" It was hardly a question.

The way his brother barely looked at him leaning back with a drink, and the sullenness of his voice, Sam knew something must've happened, "...And why can't you do that?"

"I don't think she's in the mood to talk to be right about now."

Sam walked up to your door, sick with worry and anger to hear what had gone down between you and Dean. The steam from yet another argument with Dean came to a simmer seeing your door not locked but left ajar. He slowed, softly calling out "Y/n?" coming closer he heard not only your soft snores he knew well after years but another's.

Entering he stopped — there you were deep in slumber. And in the arms of the nephilum. Your head lay in the croock of his neck, arms loosely fallen across his torso while his around your shoulders. Sam noted your red eyes and nose, stains of tears that revealed the severity of this argument with Dean had a toll on you. It pained his heart yet seeing Jack with you overturned such hurt — he comforted you. A cosmic being does not need sleep yet Jack visibly chose to rest with you — to show you he cared too. However it there was no doubt you had fallen asleep on him first — a sign of your trust.

The two of you have connected, and Sam quietly left, clicking the door shut with a relief and no plan on letting his older brother know about this.

[kanthonyficrecs]

Collection: Pregnancy AUs

A Bolt From The Blue by WaterlilyRose Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: Anthony and Kate share a night of passion that must never be spoke of again. That’s the end of the story. Right?

A Crumpled Up Piece of Paper by Moomin_94 Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: Anthony Bridgerton and Kate Sharma were perfectly happy after their quickie wedding in Fiji Until (She thinks) he told her to leave

A Journey by anidlequeen Rating: NR Status: Complete Summary: Very simply, a Kate gives birth fic.

Anything You Can Do by Mx Kate B Rating: M Status: WIP Summary: A collection of fluffy HEA drabbles to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Couldn’t Say It To Myself by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: When Anthony began dating Edwina, he knew she’d fit the bill. When the annual Bridgerton summer holiday rolled around, he had every intention of proposing to Edwina. He just did not expect her to bring along her meddlesome sister, Kate.

First Words by MiniM236 Rating: G Status: Complete Summary: Kate’s pregnant, and she and Anthony are ready and excited. However, the happy couple’s competitiveness rears its head when they are deciding what baby Neddy’s first word will be!

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) by moresassythanclassy Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: Kate and Anthony are desperate for some alone time, but having three kids and a million responsibilities makes it tough. One interruption after the next leads to one very awkward situation, an impromptu discussion about the birds and the bees, and a happy little accident somewhere down the line.

insomnia by starkswinterfelling Rating: T Status: Complete Summary: Kate and Anthony learn to deal with some of Kate’s more bothersome pregnancy symptoms.

like a ghost by antematter Rating: M Summary: A pregnant mistress was of no use to anyone.

Lockdown by Stars_of_Kyber Rating: NR Status: Complete Summary: Anthony and Kate Briderton’s family was having a relatively easy time with Lockdown. And then Mary Sharma, a nurse working in the front line of medical care, got admitted to the hospital and Kate’s pregnancy test comes back positive. Anthony must find a way to hold his wife and children together as they navigate these complicated times.

Swollen by hydriotaphia Rating: E Status: Complete Summary: He did not know how to say to her that it excited him, all of it: the radiant glow of her skin, the thickness in her ankles that she soaked daily; watching her grow and grow like a swelling drum, like a cathedral, around his child, their child. She was ripening like a flower and Anthony could not keep his hands or his eyes off his wife.

take my hand, wreck my plans (that’s my man) by yetanotheremptypage Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: If two months ago you’d told Kate Sheffield-Sharma that she would be sitting in her flat with Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton, on the couch across from her and a positive pregnancy test sitting on the coffee table in between them, she would’ve told you that you were insane.

The MILF in 2B by folklauerate Rating: E Status: WIP Summary: She’d hoped her new neighbor would be polite. Willing to water her plants if she paid them. Generally uninterested in her life. By her fifth brownie, it’s clear to her that Anthony is likely to not be that type of neighbor.

To Build A Home by WaterlilyRose Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: Anthony Bridgerton is missing. His family hunts for him with the mounting certainty something terrible has happened to him.

Until I Found You by goldenluxfairy Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: Dearest reader, The time has come to place our bets on the marriage mart of 1815. As the ton casts it’s discerning gaze on the budding romances of this year’s social season, we should not neglect to keep a watchful eye on the married couples of the past. It is true that no outsider knows what goes on in a marriage behind closed doors. Only time will tell - and of course, this author. Yours truly, Lady Whistledown

What We Have Together by DoodlingAwaits Rating: M Status: Complete Summary: the accidental sperm donor AU nobody asked for but got anyway