#i think its self aware enough to not do that and romanticize it

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

bro i literally binged read the entire oshi no ko manga today from ch 15 onwards...

a-and im not okay 😭😭

[sepublic]

Given Luz’s arc in the Boiling Isles was about expecting fantasy only to encounter reality underneath, I find it fitting her villain follows a similar trajectory. We are introduced to the enigmatic Emperor Belos, a strange and mysterious villain wielding arcane magic. Many of us understandably speculated that he was some sort of lich or other type of demon, and in the end…

He’s just some guy; Just another bigoted human. Even with his human persona Philip Wittebane, he attempts to frame himself as some tragic character unfairly hurt by society…

But again, there’s the simpler truth; He’s just an immature jerk. That’s why he’s disliked. And it’s interesting, how instead of the romanticized, sympathetic, larger than life villain, we have one closer to reality, and accurate to the actual people in power that Belos is based off of; Entitled (wo)manchildren with delusions of grandeur. It’s fittingly mundane and literally what Luz struggled with back home.

Belos is every conservative politician who thinks he’s been deeply wronged by minorities, and blames them for “taking away” a loved one who clearly made their own choice and was happier for it, because self-perceived victimization provides a handy excuse for their banal actions. They say they’re maintaining the sanctity of society but really they just want to control their perfect little worlds, and have more than enough devil’s advocates. Think of guys like Elon Musk; Some mediocre white dude who thinks of himself as particularly exceptional and self-made, when really he just stood on the shoulders of others and stole, and throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way.

He’s the suburban middle-class white dude who’s bored and thinks shooting lions in Africa makes him a big man. He’s the sweet little brother who started watching a misogynistic streamer and is now a raging bigot who refuses to grow out of it, worshipping other mediocre white men. He’s a mundane bully among Luz’s peers with no greater reason than that it’s easier to hurt others and put them down to make himself feel taller by comparison; Not so much because he’s been hurt (if at all), but because he doesn’t care.

He’s the bully who cheers for Dumbo because he lacks the self-awareness to realize he’s the villain onscreen. And people like that often don’t accept help, and sometimes they never needed it to begin with because their issues don’t come from a lack of compassion from others. You should try to understand others, but sometimes all you’ll find in some is banality. Belos isn’t some type of made up creature, at his core he’s the exact kind of person you’ll encounter in real life, hence his mundane parallel in Jacob Hopkins; He’s the jerk online who wants to debate.

And this is all very fitting for Luz’s arc; Luz went to the Boiling Isles expecting some form of escapism, but in the end, the exact same problems she encountered at home followed her there. The same type of person that contributed to Luz being deemed deviant in the U.S. also plays a role in Luz feeling unwelcome in the Demon Realm; A Puritan white man, one of the progenitors for the founding fathers of America, and its evangelical culture. And just like the jerks online who want to debate, Luz realized the only response to give was silence.

The friends Luz meets, and the people she resolves conflicts with (some of whom do fulfill the sympathetic antagonist niche), are just like you and I. There’s no real difference between witches/demons and humans. What Luz learns in the Boiling Isles still applies to her human life; She didn’t succeed in running away, but actually unwittingly grew to handle it and meeting new people. She developed the self-awareness needed to avoid becoming like those who originally hurt her, and after helping so many others was allowed to realize she was also entitled to setting boundaries and prioritizing her own health.

Luz finding the isles is fundamentally no different than a person in real life moving somewhere else, and/or finding a community of other humans like them, with the presence of kids like Masha and their friends displaying how that applies in real life. Luz still learned how to deal with reality, she had it in herself all along. She didn’t ignore her problems in the Boiling Isles, she faced them there with support. The Demon Realm and Luz’s problems there aren’t all that different from her ‘real’ life, they’re just as real and that’s why they still matter and are good for Luz. It’s all one big metaphor in the sense that it’s equivalent and applicable, and Luz figured that out like the audience did; Her ‘escapism’ was just her life back home but with a different coat of paint, and that’s good.

[thequietkid-moonie]

The diference between love and obsession

[ YANDERE COMPARISON ] [ Tsukasa Kazuki ] [ Romantic Killer ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

⚠️ This contain spoilers

I admit it, I chose to write him just because of the irony, I may be a little cruel with him but I just couldn't stop myself

Tsukasa's love is incredibly complicated, at first it wouldn't be that bad and he may even embrace it with some excitment but after the incident with his stalker he have just grow too wary and even scare of others, so falling in love leave him feeling way too vulnerable

For Tsukasa to fall in love is a really slow process, he need time to grow comfortable before even starting to fall in love, and still it will take a long time for him to realice his feelings, he is just too scare and anxious to let himself let his guard down

Tsukasa's love scares him but at the same time brings him some comfort, it make him feel uneasy and a little afraid but whenever he is with you he manage to calm down and remember why he feels that way in the first place

Tsukasa's love grows over time, becomes stronge as he gets to spend more time with you and it slowly helps him heals his past emotional scars, his love is what slowly makes him feel comfortable enough to just live, to slowly realice that he doesn't has to suffer for the rest of his life because he deserves to live without the constant fear

Tsukasa's love is pure and innocent, for him you are a safe space and a great comfort and yet he will never force you to be there for him, his love may be stronge but will never dare to force you to correspond or be there for him. Despite being in love Tsukasa is well aware that he is not your responsability, so he just enjoys the time you two spend together

As well, Tsukasa's love make him nervous, he is nervous to show vulnerability, besides, despite all have happened he is still quite young and the present feels like a weight on his shoulders, he became anxious and self-councious so deep down he may think that you won't want someone like him at your side, he will only bring you troubles anyways

But its Tsukasa's love what motivate him to keep going, it makes him want to move on from what happened to search for him happiness and the freedom from his trauma, and even when he doesn't want to be a burden is his love what lead him to constantly search your company and comfort, he will not say it loud but he apreciate a lot whenever you willingly spend time with him

Despite his feelings being stronge and sincere Tsukasa will never dare to force you to correspond, Tsukasa's love motivate to accept a second oportunity and to try to be better but also make him uneasy, scare of dragging you troubles, so despite being sincere he will hesitant a lot on acting in his feelings, and, at the end, for him it would be easier to wish you the best with someone else than trying to win your heart

Tsukasa's obsesive love is incredibly problematic, he is painfully aware of his feelings and feels incredibly ashame of them but it isn't like he can't stop himself from feeling that way, wich just lead him to constantly be over the edge

Tsukasa's obsesive love grows painfully slow, he is too scare to let someone get too close and just try to keep a low profile, however the moment he start taking interest on you, the moment he start to realice how comforting your presence is and how lovable you are Tsukasa is lost, once the obsesive love start to grow it will not stop

Tsukasa is stuck between what he want to do and what he feels able to do, he want to bask in your presence, to be burried in your comforting embrace and get lost, to hide behind you and never come out again, just having to deal with his beloved darling for the rest of his life in his small bubble of comfort, but he just can't let himself be vulnerable, he doesn't feel comfortable with how he even feels for his darling so he is barely able to mutter some words to you

Tsukasa's internal battle is eating him alive, so it has to be you who lead the interactions between you two, even if for you this is a simply friendship is leaving Tsukasa a great impact that he just can't ignore, he tries to stay calm and don't let his feeling take the best of him but is his obssesive love what make him grow desperate and needy, even dependant if you spend enough time with him

Its Tsukasa's obsesive love what makes him slowly lose himself, he tried really hard to keep a neutral face, to dont show you how messed he is internally, how he is in the vergel of tears whenever you say goodbye even knowing you two will see each other at school tomorrow again, but as his feelings grow his self-control start to flag

Tsukasa not only feels incredibly ashame of his feelings but also hates himself for it, he constantly reproches himself for his obsesive love for you, telling himself over and over again that he is not better to the person that have ruined his life but he is quickly to forget all his storm of self-hate in your presence, when you treat him like a person, like someone worthy of having a happy life he just remember why he feels this way in the first place

Tsukasa hates the idea of becoming like that woman who had made him suffer so much on the past but is his obssesive love what lead him to be possesive and overprotective over you, Tsukasa is so close to become paranoid that he tries to never leave your side (while still trying to make it seem natural)

You are his greates comfort, his safe place, where he belongs, and, as much a he hates it, it is too late to try to stop his obsesive love of growing, he is too lost in your comforting presence to even notice that he is being way too much when he tried to keep you at his side

[onmonotonyandotherailments]

How do you deal with the voice in your head? (justified guilt and the like)

This is a question to the dear reader, and for personal research only, also happy pride to those who celebrate it

I don't really know what to do about life anymore, And it sounds so lame to start my first ever post like this, but i've seen all the "It girls" having a diary of some sorts to keep up with their thoughts and to reflect ont hteir daily life. I am not some It girl myself, If there's some list of requirements one must follow, i don't think i quite qualify, and using an aesthetic as a role to follow is probably not the best course of actin when you realize you are struggling.

That's also a big step for me, what's "struggling"? I've used it pretty liberally throughout my life but i don't know what it really encompasses, can i even call it a struggle? When bits just the consequence of my own actions? All struggles are consequences after all, but if the only way to find a faulty party is to look at my reflection i would rather not do it at all.

That's also something i've found about me recently, i don't like blaming people, or i say i do, because i hope they wont point fingers later, when they find out the fault was mine all along.

I keep on going on tangents latey, Back to the point, my life. Ironic sentence i think, Life being the point of discussion when i find life pointless. Not in a suicidal way, but in an avoidment of responsibilities and consequences kinda way. And its not like i havent thought about it, but when youre still living with your parents and your sibling, killing yourself is so much of a hassle for others, more than a big step for myself. So like so many of my attitudes i chose to put it on the list to do in about twenty to ten years or when im living alone.

Its a hopeful list honestly, aside from the /killing myself maybe/. Because as far as im made aware most of these feelings may just leave when i find my own freedom to actually do what i want.

The bad part is, and this is why i needed to do this blog too i think, that i could do most of these things if i just grab hold of the reign of my life and just "Got IT together" as many self motivation posts have pointed out already. The IT its aludding to may be related to these It girls ive written about previously.

Just joking of course, i just need to start studying more, and actually studying and get some part time job, something online even. Its not even that my degree is uninteresting to me, but when its your third time taking a class (and take the third as liberal as you can) and you still have no idea where anything is coming from, you kind of exhaust all other "faults". Its not my teachers as ive had many, its not my current environment, ive done both virtual and on campus classes, the basis ive had were enough for my peers who have already advanced into their actual careers so its me, its my fault.

And fault is so slimy and easy to ignore when its yours, and thats whats sweet about escapism, is that its soo easy and sweet, it fills the brain with that quick and easy dopamine. Love it! But working on your goals and marks on your life? ughhhhhhhhh such a lame-o way on life. Soooo

ive started this blog, mostly to hold myself "accountable" (blegh) and to aestheticize and romanticize life. But im sooo a total shut in, so i have to, in return, start to take care of myself for that outward appeal that they loove to share online. The basis of aesthetics, if you will.

Hopefully this and the deleting all other social media kinda works on favor of this. Hope i didnt come off as a total snob and more like a girl failure. we set the low very low so our highs(returning my overdue books to the library) look like actual progress.

Adding a pretty picture from when we visited our family on the province just to prove im not a Total shut in.

Lots of love, Celine

[extravagrant]

I'm lighting the candle I'm stirring the pot my opinion regarding problematic media is that it's quite moronic to go around telling people what they can and can't include in a story. Ever since the dawn of time, people have discussed all sorts of things in their works of fiction, and as long as the audience thinks critically of what they consume, then there's nothing wrong with adding any sort of theme to a novel, or a show, or a movie. What is wrong is romanticize, or sexualize said themes to the point it's uncomfortable and disturbing, which what proshippers and comshippers do. So in the whole antis and proshippers debate, I tend to gravitate towards the middle. Media is allowed to be problematic, as long as the show goes out of its way to imply to the audience everything depicted is morally wrong and fucked up. An example of this is Nabokov's Lolita. Canceling a book like that would do nothing but harm the people who've been affected by what Dolores went through because of Humbert Humbert. But at the same time, writing anything taboo can be tricky, because oftentimes the people handling these topics don't do it with enough subtlety and self awareness, so the end result does the exact opposite of what it's supposed to, which is to demonize what's being discussed in the source material. All I'm saying is, there's a fine line that shouldn't be crossed, and either going over that boundary or getting rid of it altogether is harmful to everyone involved. I hope I made myself clear

[itismissswann]

@conjurerandking || Continued from here

He heard her speak, but he didn’t turn around right away. He had to think of his reply. He really didn’t have the right to be jealous, but he’d always been a jealous person. Watching Thor all those years get any woman he wanted, meanwhile he was seen as some kind of monster, or freak because… well he wasn’t really sure why, but he remembers people always looking at him like he was very off-putting. Or when a woman would give him the time of day, someone would come along and fill their heads with ideas. He wasn’t a virgin by any stretch, it was mostly filled with one night stands and fleeting sweet nothings. But it’d be nice to find something a little more permanent. He was just hoping that maybe it would be different. But she seemed to either be spoken for, or not interested.

He was tired of hurting people. He didn’t like it. He had betrayed every one of his friends, everyone he had loved.. it made him feel very alone.

“Just something I didn’t expect to see first hand, is all.” He said lowly and finished off the knot. He finally turned around, the late morning sun glistening off of his skin from the bits of sweat mixed with ocean spray. Particularly on his face, and he lifted the bottom of his shirt, exposing his midsection, to wipe the droplets from his face, as the sunlight caught the few drops on his brows and lashes, blinding him a little, then letting it fall to his waist again.

“Not my place, it seems you two have had a history already.”

Elizabeth watch his every move intently, contemplating if she should be flattered or not. Jealousy is often an expression of insecurity and thus its fixing required internal reflection and addressing matters of self esteem. Perhaps he gave her to much credit, she was an increasingly strong-minded and determined woman and she and Jack were alike. They both were willing to do whatever was necessary to get what they wanted.

❝Jack and I have had our fair share of adventures, yes.❞ She started, noticing the droplets on his long and elegant eyelashes, like dew on those early mornings, when he turned around to face her. Elizabeth placed the bottle on the stairs when he showed no interest in taking it of her.   ❝But I don’t entirely trust him.❞ Elizabeth had always been attracted to Jack, mainly because of her idea of a piratical life. He also romanticized the image of piracy as an obsession, but her notions of romance and adventure had changed in a transition to go from her romantic notions to the cutthroat, dirty reality of piracy.

❝It would have never work out between us.❞ Her voice barely more than a whisper, though no indication of regret or melancholy was to be found on her features. She merely stated it as a fact, but she was well aware she would be lying if she denied that there wasn’t any chemistry between them. Elizabeth watched how this man so casually lifted his shirt. His broad chest and shoulders looked powerful.

She rose and approached, resting back on her heels in front of him, close enough for him to feel her heat.  ❝I’m almost starting to believe that you are starting to develop feelings for me.❞ she teased playfully.

[die-rosastrasse]

Sorry to rant to you, but I feel that living romantically is impossible in America. The land doesn’t exude the same energy as Europe (which I’ve been fortunate to visit several times). But visiting Europe has never been enough; I need to live there in order to experience my soul in all its fullness. I feel more French than I do American and I feel more like myself when I express myself in French rather than English.

Your life is my dream life, and how I really feel inside. I’ve always been a tormented romantic spirit, and as a woman in her early twenties I feel that I don’t have the means yet to make the move overseas. I try expressing romance through the clothes I wear, the literature I consume, my hobbies (knitting and writing poetry), soaking in tea and cloudy days. But it is all in vain; France and Europe runs through my blood and haunts me whenever I’m not there. What do you recommend that I do?

This is a difficult, yet interesting question! I'm not sure I have the right answer or if it exists at all. I understand your feeling, I believe we are quite similar inside with the quest for beauty, history and a romantic life. I'm not going to lecture you about the dangers of romanticizing certain things or places - I believe it's one of the nicest forms of delusion. If you won't let life crush this image, romanticizing might even help ignore the worse parts, enhance the better parts, and appreciate what fate has given you. I know I tend to romanticize the hell out of my city and Europe, so it's not my place to judge or tell you to wake up. Similarly, I'm not going to explain to you the darker side of this continent, like the grayness, blocks of flats, cigarette smoke, trash. I mean, they are there, but firstly, you've already been here multiple times so you're aware of them, and secondly, no place is perfect and I'll take whatever dirty city here over the mess of US, which we all know is full of its own flaws. I'm a firm believer that we might be born with a certain place being destined for us. Some people long for different countries and climates and ways of life, and hopefully they find their true home, whether it's a small island in the Pacific or top of a skyscraper in Tokio. It's part of self discovery to look for this place and eventually move there, but I know that it can be a privilege, unattainable for some. I studied in a department of foreign languages, so I've known a lot of people who felt their heart belonging in another country. And that made me think - you might try studying in Europe if you ever have the chance. It's usually free, minus the cost of living, and I don't know your financial situation, but it might be necessary to get a job on the side. I know it might be hard, but consider this as an option for one day. Studying is supposed to be fun and opens many door like exchanges, internships, group projects, not to mention learning of the language and meeting people. Your heart seems to know what it wants, so you'll always be on the right path. I hope that wherever life puts you, you'll love it and be able to keep the beautiful romantic spirit that you have. I wish you luck! ❤️

[astrolovecosmos]

Neptune: Deep Dive

Pink petals

fallen onto

night shaded

waters.

Nothing is ever as it seems.

Wood turned to metal.

Reality turned to dreams.

-Natasha Reeves 

The planet Neptune I think is most famous for two things - illusions and dreamy or ethereal associations. A lot of negativity is also commonly associated such as addiction, insanity, guilt, sorrow, denial, and doubt. This planet is complex and just like all the other planets has a huge array of associations. What prompted me to do a deep dive in Neptune? Well for one I’ve been going through the transit of Neptune in Pisces crossing over my IC which has been powerful and I am at the end of my progressed Moon in the 12th House. Also in my own chart I’ve been paying more attention to my natal Neptune placements... which are a lot more prominent and worthy of my attention than I’ve understood and noticed in the past. Honestly I spend a lot more time analyzing others’ charts vs. my own, and I really should have looked more closely at some of my own aspects. I have had a LOT of experience with Pisces influences throughout my life, intense ones. I want to make it clear that Pisces DOES NOT = Neptune. I’ve always wanted to write a whole essay about my experience as a Pisces friend, lover, family member, enemy, etc. An outsiders opinion but that isn’t this. This is a disclaimer because this is going to be both theory and my own experiences. This is a deep dive. 

The Sea’s Love and Wrath 

Neptune in a lot of mainstream media is described as gentle but this planet can be unpredictable and harsh, with erratic energy that could rival Uranus. Neptune can be about tolerance and kindness, seeing past the ego and material. Neptune can embody or promote unconditional love and forgiveness. Because Neptune can be about dissolving and merging this planet allows us to see ourselves in others, maybe even in everyone allowing for compassion, empathy, and the ability to love very freely and openly. But the illusion and deception of Neptune is its shadow. 

Romanticizing and idealizing can be one of Neptune’s downfalls. Many times this is described as putting other’s on a pedestal but this can be applied to any area of life from work to places to ideals. From this those with strong Neptune aspects or prominent placements can find that disappointment is a frequent visitor. Neptune square, opposite, or conjunct Venus can quickly fall for others, trust others, and gravitates towards those they want to help or who have a strong personality they can meld with. Neptune opposite or square Mercury may face the frustration and disappointment of frequently being misunderstood or finding that they easily misread others or trust their words. After feeling tricked there can be wrath to these oceanic bodies. 

Where will their vengeance or anger land? It isn’t fair if they idolize you to get mad at you... sometimes their anger is self-loathing and self-destructive, other times they take you down with them. But the lesson is that Neptune can be as soft and as dangerous as the sea. 

Enlightenment and Madness

Coming down from the high, was getting lost in Neptune’s blue. Dreams and visions dancing in the back of my mind, when reality is so hard to chew. Sensation used to distract and pieces of stories stitched together to where nothing is fact.- Natasha Reeves 

There are many influences that can grant us wisdom or enlightenment throughout astrology, but I don’t see too many writings or posts about Neptune and its connection to enlightenment, nirvana, or eurekas and on the flipside also insanity and denial. Neptune can pull away the fog to give us clarity - especially when looking at the whole of things, the big picture. Neptune can famously also be the fog. 

The transit of Neptune crossing over my IC/4th House brought a lot of light to my childhood and how I was raised. However my IC is in Pisces, while Pisces isn’t the same as the planet, and many astrologers believe Neptune is not the ruling planet of Pisces - it is a sign known for illusions, confusion, and vagueness much like Neptune. I came from a place of a lot of secretiveness and vagueness, but when the “planet of illusions” crossed over I found myself accepting the instability and moments I felt lost or clueless in my life as well as looking back with remembering and understanding. 

Neptune can represent the part of us that is hard to grasp and understand, it also faces us with the idea that it is okay to have unanswered questions, to not have closure, that many times we have to create that closure or solidity ourselves. Neptune much like Jupiter is a matter of faith whether in ourselves or a higher power. 

It should be noted Neptune doesn’t always mean outside sources. Neptune is an introverted, intimate actor. It can represent how we lie to ourselves, trick ourselves, or how we push responsibility off of ourselves. Neptune also allows us to see, understand, more importantly feel what we easily ignore or can’t see. 

Life’s Extremes - Our Extremes 

“Neptune moves between the greatest extremes: from the highest spiritual awareness through imagination, fantasy, and illusion, to the depths of deceptions and disillusionment. The planet of mysticism, glamour, and enchantment, Neptune exerts a hypotonic fascination.” - Judy Hall. 

When many think of extremes they probably think Pluto before Neptune. The blue sphere isn’t going to take away the icy orb’s reputation - Pluto holds tightly in terms of extremes, but Neptune is far from a level-headed, consistent influence. Let’s touch on fantasy and illusion - two things that tends to warn of foolishness or impracticality, but fantasy is part of everyone’s life, no matter how pragmatic or mature an individual claims to be. From coping to manifesting to understanding to enjoying, fantasy is a natural human thing. Think of how often you daydream in an hour, how many books, movies, and games you indulge in, how often you find yourself being tempted by gossip, and how often you find yourself painting a picture of another in your head - negative or positive. 

Neptune symbolizes the abstract, importance, and rawness of our fantasies. Individuals with prominent Neptune aspects can find themselves easily tapping into their imagination, falling into escapism frequently, or have a great use for their wild ideas. If you think of the subject of fantasies or illusion as an extreme - it makes sense. You aren’t going to get an interesting story without the gods and monsters. Our sleeping dreams often are filled with strangeness or strong emotions. Clarity to madness, hopeless romantic highs to deeply wounded sorrows, and dissolving/surrendering to becoming whole/complete are common extremes this planet centers around. 

I have Mercury Square Neptune which tends to make one doubtful of their own opinions and intellect, can increase misunderstandings, and make communication difficult for the individual. Mercury Square Neptune can make someone highly persuasive and deceptive but it can also make one easily confused, tricked, and manipulated by others. Rationality and intuition can conflict. One experience I have with this aspect is usually swinging from extremes to being very withdrawn and quiet to interrupting others, chatting away. I’ve been described by those in my life as always saying something they didn’t expect - few words but impactful or strange ones. This is an example of the more everyday way Neptune can present itself.

“Neptune-attuned people possess glamour in the old sense of the word: the ability to bewitch. They are also impossible to categorize or pin down, demonstrating the planet’s elusive quality. Lacking strong boundaries, Neptune-attuned people are susceptible to outside influences.” - Judy Hall. It is from these lack of boundaries and fluidness we see Neptune’s extremeness. Neptune aspects can have us take on the traits of others and there is intensity in that. Let’s say we are talking about a Neptune to Mercury aspect, here may be someone who is easily energized or put down by the mood of another. Neptune to Mars can create a volatile person who fights, guards, and pursues based on their inner circle. 

Alice: Imagination and Dreams 

Personally I tend to associate Alice in Wonderland with Gemini themes. But I’ve seen her used as a metaphor for many placements and influences, such as Scorpio and Pluto. Neptune’s lostness certainly relates to the character and story. Neptune can be the planet of dreams. Challenging aspects to Saturn indicates someone who struggles to get in touch with reality while easy aspects to Saturn indicates someone who can marry big dreams or imagination to practicality. 

Neptune to Moon aspects can indicate powerful dreaming - almost intuitive or helpful in processing stress or trauma. So does Neptune in the 12th, 4th, 8th, and possibly 9th. Neptune in the 2nd can mean imagination or even dreams themselves act as a resource, maybe this is through inspiration or increasing one’s belief or confidence. Neptune in the 3rd may find themselves always remembering their dreams and keeping a journal. Neptune in the 5th blessed with all of the fun dreams of flying or dreaming of a favorite fictional character. Neptune in the 6th or 10th may find strikes of inspiration, knowledge, problem solving, or important foresight in their sleep. Neptune in the 11th may find comfort or realize important information about self and/or society in their dreams. 

Neptune is a newer planet, many times called the visionary, healer, or spiritual link or messenger. Traditional astrologers can approach the planet with a lot of skepticism. Its exaltation is in creative Leo, detriment in practical Virgo, and fall in usually praised as “visionary” Aquarius. Neptune is still new enough to be a hot topic of debate. You will find many astrologers don’t even agree on the planet’s exaltation, fall, and detriment. Leo is considered one of the most creative sign and on the topic of imagination and dreams Neptune can feel amazing in this sign. It feels confident and shinning in its ideas, fantasies, and magic. Elusive and ever-changing Neptune doesn’t feel comfortable in stable and structured Virgo. But Aquarius is an unexpected challenge for Neptune. Aquarius is about collective action - unity that Neptune also is familiar with. But Aquarius is a cold sign and despite its unconventional side can be highly practical and may dislike unrealistic ideas or approaches. Saturn is Aquarius’s co-ruler after all. Neptune wants oneness as in intimacy, not oneness in action or rebellion like Aquarius. Neptune is the magical moonlit spring to heal all your wounds, especially the emotional and spiritual kind. Aquarius is the soul forge in Asgard from Thor: The Dark World or the hypospray in Star Trek. Aquarius is modern medicine most of the time and when Neptune is dressed in Aquarius’s colors at its best it is advanced medicine we don’t understand yet but are working towards. Neptune in Aquarius can be a genius, but it is about ambitious realism to help others, Neptune at its heart is about helping the individual on the most personal level. Aquarius is random strikes of lightning coming from an active mind while Neptune flows from one spot to another, always connected and coming from an original primal, emotional place. Aquarius is the future, Neptune is outside of time. Aquarius is intellect and Neptune emotions and intuition. Aquarius is rebellion, riot, revolution, Neptune is peace or death and rebirth - Aquarius is the noise and Neptune the silence. 

Some believe Neptune’s fall is in Capricorn, which the struggles exist with Capricorn’s strictness and clinging to reality and control. Neptune in Leo is Alice looking regal like a queen or warrior going to fight the jabberwock, Neptune in Virgo can get dark, feeling uncomfortable and maybe in pain, but still important and empowering. Alice in Aquarius or Capricorn is likely a totally new story, adult Alice putting away the tea parties and white rabbits for a lab coat or pantsuit. 

What about Healing and the Spiritual? 

Let’s get to what Neptune may be most known for. That otherworldly connection, the power of love, transcendence. Neptune is dramatic and it is soothing. Neptune embraces all aspects of the human experience so we can focus more on the soul. Neptune is all about healing and how healing can come in a million ways. It can be fast and hard or slow and revealing. It is painful and messy, it goes in cycles, loops, falls and rises. 

Neptune whether the aspects are easy or challenging, whether in a house focused on the self or others, it gives everyone ways to heal and to connect. As an outer planet it gives a lot of insight into generations but in the unique placement of one’s chart it touches us with humanity. 

Pretty speeches, enchanting metaphors, crazy nights, and charming lovers lead us to our doom and a raw poem, crying ourselves to sleep, old medicine, late night graveyard walks, and maybe a rebound help us pick up the pieces. Neptune many times shows us that the unexpected is what tears us down and what lifts us back up. It teaches us nothing is inherently bad like substances, manipulation, honesty, authority, it is how it is used. Neptune shows us that you are the hero to some and the villain to others. 

Regret, shame, guilt, feeling trapped, isolation, addiction, grief, and sorrow are closely linked to Neptune. I believe many times this is due to the healing process or spiritual associations of the planet. These emotions are heavy and life-changing but they are emotions that many times need to be faced with a lot of bravery and work. They are feelings that also help us come to realizations. Neptune is associated with rebirth and if you examine emotions like regret or shame, sometimes rebirth is the only way you can shed those feelings. Neptune’s fluid nature also allows us acceptance, which is needed to deal with such heavy emotions. 

While we always talk about the lack of boundaries as a dangerous or bad thing... and it can be, these lack of boundaries like I mentioned above can allow for a very giving love and empathy, it also allows us to feel or interact with a higher power, magic, and the spiritual. Whatever your beat is - religion, magic, or the belief we are just star stuff, Neptune symbolizes our relationship with it. 

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[bigskydreaming]

You think when Jason first went to Bruce’s him and Dick had an interaction that went like this,

Jason: you don’t know what it like

Dick: Bitch I’m sorry which one of us went to juvie

LOL I get the joke and all but see, I do wanna be clear:

(And this is just in general rather than aimed specifically at you or this ask, anon).

I spend a lot of time talking about being anti-Trauma Olympics and that extends both ways. I don't want Dick perceived as more traumatized or having had it harder than anyone else in his family, just that his own traumas and hardships aren't erased or invalidated in favor of propping up someone else. At most, I'll talk about something like the Forever Evil situation and how he was 'more' the victim there than they were, but that's because that's a specific situational thing where both he and other characters' feelings and hurt in regards to the exact same set of circumstances are being compared, and I'm like, well if you're GONNA do that, you kinda gotta look at who was most directly impacted by events versus had feelings about what HAPPENED to the first person in the first place, just....conveniently leapfrogging over that dude's actual feelings about those exact same things.

But ultimately, although I'll spite-LOL about this sorta joke in response to other fans Doing the Most in the other direction, like.....tbh, I wouldn't be any more in favor of this kinda interaction in fics or canon.

What I WOULD love to see is rather than the kids being pitted against each other in a kinda pseudo competition, see them use traumas and parallel situations as a basis for common ground and building stronger bonds. Like, how much more powerful would it be if what we got instead was Jason finding out about Dick's past experiences with juvie in order to make Dick someone he feels DOES get certain things. I mean, Dick never DID experience various things that Jason did living on the street or earlier living with Catherine and Willis....but like I've always posited that in the early years Dick had a primal fear of fucking up and being sent back to juvie by Bruce, Dick absolutely would be able to understand the fears of a kid who was caught committing an actual crime by Bruce in their first encounter and feared what might happen if Bruce ever decided he wasn't worth giving the benefit of the doubt and ultimately would never be more than a criminal.

Part of what bums me so much about the direction most fics and headcanons take towards Dick and Jason's earlier interactions, is there's a huge chasm in experience, perspective and privilege between Bruce and BOTH his two eldest. That chasm is not nearly as vast between Dick and Jason themselves. Where they diverge in prior experiences tends to have a lot to do with specific situations and circumstances rather than axis of privilege. (Especially when you consider - and god I'm tired of this - how often people default to being like 'well Dick at least had loving parents' when ahem, HOW OFTEN has Jason made clear that he has very affectionate memories of Catherine because she was at times a very loving and attentive mother, and that's WHY her addiction and death hit him so hard, not unlike how the murder of Dick's parents hit him so hard BECAUSE they were loving and nurturing? Like, how often do people throw characters' own stories and canon away JUST to make the case that they have it harder than another one? Can we stop this? Forever preferably?)

But point is, there are tons of areas where Bruce just fundamentally didn't relate to Dick and never was going to be able to, because Bruce was never in a position of being at the mercy of various institutions. Bruce never had to worry about being thrown out by his guardian, Alfred, who technically worked for his family even as he raised Bruce. He never had to deal with peers looking down on him because of who he WAS rather than giving him shit for specific circumstances or events. He never had to worry about his parents or past being demeaned as worthless, he never had to balance trying to retain a sense of self without being subsumed into Bruce AND the Waynes' larger than life shadows, history, and perception in the eyes of the public.

However all of these and more are areas where Dick and Jason absolutely overlap and this could be greatly of benefit to each other, if it was ALLOWED to be. For Dick, Jason's arrival can be an opportunity for him to finally have someone who gets various aspects of growing up with Bruce that will just fly over other peoples' heads as being a problem or them having issues with at all. For Jason, Dick can be an opportunity for him to have an easier time understanding Bruce when these gaps in perception and experience appear, or making himself understood by Bruce, by drawing upon and learning from Dick's own experience trying to navigate those very same gaps between Bruce and himself in years prior.

And even where Dick and Jason's experiences diverge, there's still plenty they could learn from each other that they STILL couldn't have in common with Bruce. Like yeah, Jason - even with a loving relationship with Catherine factored in - didn't ever have the benefit of Dick's history being part of a huge communal family in the circus, and around people who were open and generous with their affection and all that.....and frankly, Bruce never had this either, even factoring in his own relationship with HIS parents. But its something that Dick could definitely impart wisdom in, that would be helpful to Jason in learning to be part of a larger community of superheroes overall, and how to interact with a bigger family that wasn't limited just to himself and his guardian or guardians....as well as helpful after their family grew to include more siblings.

And Jason did have a ton of experiences and perspective born of living on the streets and being entirely self-sufficient from a young age, with wisdom he could share with Dick there, who was MORE likely to get the benefits of that than Bruce even, because Dick did have experience with a closer mindset to what Jason had had at the time, and even if Dick's own experiences running from juvie or in Robin Year One were far more finite than Jason's ever were, there's enough of a foundation there for them to build a common awareness of major events in each other's past and like....thus be able to talk about them, unpack them with each other and not have to worry about being judged by someone who just fundamentally might not get it or understand where they were coming from when they made certain choices based on those mindsets.

And then back again, part of why it bugs to so often hear Dick's years growing up in the mansion talked about as wholly a good thing when there's no separating them from the years he spent as Robin, is because Dick has knowledge and awareness of the streets and crime that's predicated entirely on his years as Robin, that's still broader than Jason's in the sense that Jason's knowledge is limited just to his personal, more contained experiences, whereas Dick as Robin interacted with all sorts of crime and criminals and victims. And who better than Dick to learn from in regards to what its like to even BE a teen vigilante, because for all Bruce's experience as Batman, he debuted as an adult, he'll never be able to relate specifically to the fears and finer points of taking on people who are older, bigger, more experienced than you, when you're that young and small. But again, all of that requires like, ACKNOWLEDGING that Dick went through some SHIT when he was younger, and that doesn't have to TAKE AWAY anything from Jason's own hardships, but it has all the capacity in the world to ADD things to Jason's toolbox for dealing with his hardships.

But yeah, ultimately, like....it annoys me to see Dick's own experiences so often glossed over or romanticized in order to act like he's so oblivious to what someone like Jason's life was like, but more than that, it just bums me because its a waste of so much potential material and just.....erases the opportunity for so many stories that could explore actual new, uncharted territory rather than just retread the same old beats about how oh Dick is just oblivious to what REAL hardship is like but Jason gets it, see.

That's gonna get a yawn from me, lads.

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[mhevarujta]

The Darkling in Rule of Wolves [SPOILERS]

I have seen very different opinions about The Darkling’s arc in Rule of Wolves.

Many haters think that his sacrifice did not make sense for his character, especially since he did not repent.

Many of those who stan a romanticized version of the character have complained that his complexity was taken away and that he was vilified excessively.

So here I am, feeling the need to explain why I believe that he is still a very complex character and that Leigh has written him in a way that further what she’s already established for the character in a beautiful way that we rarely see in the genre.

In fact, I think that Leigh has no anti-Darkling agenda. She wrote him as a villain that is a series of contradictions and who has a great arc of existential crisis; an arc which leads to him fixing some of the damage he’s caused.

Most villains in YA either keep to their villainous goal, or are centuries-old men who, after being set in his ways for so long, conveniently have a rushed redemption arc and a change of beliefs that doesn’t make sense and feels like they have had a change of personality. Leigh managed to tiptoe between the two.

Some Themes That Make It Into  The Darkling’s arc in Rule of Wolves:

 POWER & SAVING THE GRISHA:

As always, we saw that Alina has an influence on him. He allowed himself to be more vulnerable with her because he saw her as his equal. But that influence is about the need of having his power and the life he endured be understood rather than romance. Both of them have experienced the greed that comes with THAT kind of power, but they always had an ideological conflict. Alina did not draw the line on personal sacrifice but she was always trying to help the people. She would sacrifice her life and her powers. He wouldn’t… Or would he?

In Rule of Wolves, Alina poses a question that he thinks he has an answer to: Why does he have to be the savior? What about everything other people have done for his country? His answer is ‘power’. If HE who is special, who has all that power, all that experience, then who is going to make a difference?

There is a contradiction here. This is a man who genuinely cares, but whose idealism is an echo of the caring person he’d once been. It has become hollow.

 The Darkling, by the age of 13, had changed hundreds of names and moved constantly, had been hunted by his own people, betrayed by people he’d tried to help and had to resort to self-harm in order to survive. That was when he promised he’d create a sanctuary for The Grisha.

And then he lived centuries of wars, betrayals and setbacks. He gave and gave until he had enough and went completely off the rails. His people were his aim, but he became so desperate that he crossed every line. He turned from a mentor to a puppetmaster. His was so fixated on the idea of ending the wars that he could not see that he was employing the same methods he was trying to end.

The more he lived, the more he left pieces of himself behind because he could not go on otherwise.

He thought that by ruling, by becoming king and weaponizing the fold, he would end all wars. He still wants to be the savior.

  BEING UNAPOLOGETIC & ‘NOTHING LEFT’

 Even when he dies, Aleksander does not repent, but at the same time he is very much aware of having committed atrocities and even during his last moment with Alina he does not apologize.

After all, that’s what he learned since he was a child. Baghra was his teacher and he was an apt pupil:

 His awareness of having crossed the line is obvious by the fact that he did not want a grave. He knew it’d be desecrated. Even though he was not sorry for trying, he knew that without having achieved his end nothing could begin to excuse what he’d done. He knew how hated he was.

There would be nothing left of him; no physical remnants, no legacy, and only one person to mourn the person he could have been. He leaves the world with this knowledge.

His true name is erased.

Being in his head, we see that, upon his return he is thinking of himself as Aleksander while using a different name (Yuri’s) once more. He is still hiding, and as long as he has to hide, the world is not as he wants it. As long as he’s hiding he can’t leave a legacy behind.

So based on what we know of his actions and of the way he’s loves, I think that

- the Darkling wanting to see Alina and to be understood by her, but being resistant to her morality and crossing her one more time to take his powers back,

- being accustomed to hardship and to biding his time,

-underestimating Nikolai and the triumvirate and seeing them as weak individuals instead of considering them as a strong unit,

- using Yuri’s name but still thinking of himself as Aleksander,

-taking advantage of the Starless to make his dramatic return while saving Ravka and gaining the people’s gratitude and worship,

-wanting Ravka to win and aiding Nikolai when because HE couldn’t win single-handedly and he didn’t want to lose but still thinking that, since the bells had been destroyed, HE was a batter option to lead.

are very much in character.

There are three major things about his arc that readers may consider to be out of character:

a)      The Darkling helping Zoya rise as a queen/

b)      Aleksander choosing to sacrifice himself to stop the blight.

c)       The public revelation of his name.

So let’s examine them one by one.

__________________________________

a)      Aiding the rise of the Dragon Queen.

Aleksander questions both Zoya and Nikolai. He considers them children, one two weak to embrace her powers when she could be among the strongest Grisha who have ever lived and the other too immature to use his political power for anything more than playing pirate. In fact he thinks they are ‘dangerous to him and to his country’.

 During the last battle Aleksander is forced to consider things that he hadn’t before.

One is the question Alina posed to him. Is HE the only one who can save them? The other can be summed up with Mal’s joke: ‘You’re rusty old man’.

 After he snapped and decided that he must rule and that he has to use the Fold, Aleksander pursued his goal single-mindedly. But war changed around him. People moved from swords, to guns, to bombs, but Aleksander’s power was constant, reliable. And then THIS was and Rasmus’ Hajefetla came. The Darkling thought he could give them victory but he HAD his power and couldn’t use it.

But even when everything seems lost, Nikolai fights and is ready to sacrifice everything. Slowly, the Darkling’s view of Nikolai shifts throughout the book.

He sees how Nikolai cares for all his people. How he was strong enough to embrace the monster and to make sacrifices and he helps him. But even then, after the bells are destroyed, he still thinks that he is the best chance his country has and steps back.

But the second miracle does happen. The Darkling had dismissed Zoya as a girl who couldn’t open her heard and embrace her power, but she opens the door. She saves the day both with her strength and with her mercy. She makes the show of power that The Darkling himself made to do and she exceeds his expectations.

And at that moment, Zoya could have been seen as a monster, a witch, all the things that Grisha had been hated for. So The Darkling chooses to give the push the people need; to be the one to break them out of their shock and push them to the direction that suits Ravka before anyone else does: ‘Sankta Zoya’.

And when he makes a stand in her favor when she gets accepted as a queen:

1) Even though I don’t believe he still thought of Zoya as a pawn at this point, I DO believe that he had realized how showing his allegiance might give him a potential opening to call in a favor if he ever needed it.

2) Helping her makes sense because even he would be able to see that a Grisha who has military, political and religious power and who has immeasurable power that could only grow gives Ravka its best chance.

3) He has the opportunity to further Ravka’s political stability while getting rid of the Apparat, whom he despises both because he betrayed him personally and because he is a rat who keeps endangering the Grisha and even Ravka as a whole.

He used all the influence he had left.

b)      EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AND SELF-SACRIFICE

Throughout Rule of Wolves, The Darkling goes through an existential crisis. He is trying to remain the same, to keep to his old practices, but by the end of the book he understands that the world has changed and he has to change in some way too. He does not have a complete change of heart. People are mostly set in their personality by their adulthood and a tiger easily changing its striped after centuries would be completely unrealistic. Neither are his crimes glossed over. But the reasons he sacrifices himself are woven throughout the story.

-A theme throughout the story is that we started in Shadow And Bone from ‘the age of Grisha power is coming to an end’ and went to ‘the age of Saints is upon us’. What is the main difference between Grisha and Saints? It’s faith. It’s the way the ‘saints’ are accepted and worshipped for their power and sacrifice. The Darkling wants to be loved. He wants for his sacrifices to be recognized.

In a single scene we see both his inability to adjust to the world he finds himself in and his need for his efforts to be recognized. Because he DID give his life for Ravka. He did so, from his perspective, when he was killed during the Civil War, but he also did by not having really had peace or REALLY lived his life since he was a child.

In the main trilogy he was bitter about the Otkazats’ya easily turning on Grisha. He was bitter about how Grisha were treated by the rulers of Ravka. The Grisha had to bow but the Saints are the ones that people bowed to. Faith is the only thing that may allow them to stop hiding. So he wants to be a Saint. He didn’t manage to earn it in battle, so he must find another way.

The Darkling approaches The Starless, but even as he tries to have more rally behind him he is disappointed in his new following. During his first POV chapter he says that he will “teach the world awe”. But it’s made clear that his is not enough for him. His followers BELIEVE but their belief is hollow. They are afraid of who he truly is, they barely believe in everything he stood for. They are awed, easily manageable, but they do not care about the Grisha. They do not care about Ravka the way he does. They do not see him when he’s right in front of them, making him want to scream that he is there, that he exists, and when one glimpses behind Yuri’s mask he sees ‘evil’.

What he wants is devotion because of what he’s tried to do, not blind faith. He feels unseen; faded. Moreover, he still hides while he thought he didn’t have to. Initially he thinks that he can finally choose to be himself and to reclaim his true name: ‘The oldest of them: Aleksander. He had no reason to hide his strangeness anymore. Saints were meant to live forever.’ But he falls into old patterns. He is ‘Yuri’; he is in hiding once more.

-The Darkling DOES NOT LOVE HIS POWER in itself. He loves the strength it gives him, the feeling of being special, but he does not enjoy the darkness, despite embracing the color black or having previously chosen dark rooms for himself.

“He wanted to be out of the darkness, back beneath the watery winter sun.”

“He only wished that it wasn’t winter. He wanted to turn his face

to the sun and feel it warm him. The cold frightened him now. It felt like

death, like the long silence of not being, without sense of time or place, only

the understanding that he must hold on, that someday, there would be an end

to the terrible stillness. He’d been a long time in the dark.”

Even in his previous life, he was mesmerized by the beauty of the world.

And now he has to face THE BLIGHT: A consequence to him coming back, which, based on the fact that it expanded THE MOMENT he used his power to kill one of his followers, is connected to him growing stronger and using his power. This power, which is similar to the Fold, is independent of him and untamed in the world and creates wastelands, ruining the country that he tried to save. In fact, it is compared to a vampire; to a creature that needs blood to be sustained. It destroys all the things that Aleksander dehumanized himself to fight for and all the things he found beautiful in the world.

Even when it doesn’t touch HIM, he doesn’t know why; if it’s because this plague recognizes something in him, or if he’s so ruined that it doesn’t have a taste for him. And both scenarios show an alienation from his power. His feelings of being whole because of his power have being tainted by something he had never experienced before.

And how could he, who represents the lack of stars, the darkness, be valued and not just feared? 

For the Starless Saint to become the people’s salvation the darkness that spreads across the land must be defeated by his own power of darkness, 

In the original trilogy the theme of the Darkling falling into servitude of his own power was touched upon. 

In RoW it was furthered. And Aleksander has made his decision:

Never again a servant; not even to his own power. 

 WITH THE DARKLING’S SACRIFICE:

1)      He saves Ravka and allows back into the world and into the fold all the colors and the light that he used to love about it. But more importantly, At some point he mentions that “human life is worth preserving. But human lives? They come and go like so much chaff, never tipping the scales.” By holding back the Blight he ensures that human life is preserved.

2) His arc of existential crisis is resolved because he finds purpose, which he lacked after seeing that he was not enough to win the war and to create by himself the world he had craved) and saves his country in a way that only HE could, even if that wasn’t ruling. The vision Aleksander, the forgotten boy, had is aided in a way that serves the vanity of The Darkling, the eternal being he became.

3) Leigh brings full circle the theme of balance. “You were meant to be my balance”, he had told Alina. But THAT assumption was SO wrong and presumptuous. It was entitled. But finally he makes a sacrifice to be his own balance and to control what he unleashed. He caused pain and he endures pain. He was responsible for the Fold and for the Blight and he counterbalances the distraction they brought to the land and stops them from threatening Ravka.

_________

c)       ‘MY NAME IS ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA’.

Some say that The Darkling publically revealing his name was out of character; probably because the only revealed it to Alina and did not want others to know it.  

So let’s have a throwback to what we know. 

As ‘The Starless’, the Darkling is the only unnamed saint other than the Saint of the Book, who has no memory. The theme of a name being essential to memory is constant throughout Aleksander’s arc

‘A boy’s name given up; almost forgotten.’

“It’s my own name I’m afraid of forgetting.”

In Ruin and Rising, The Darkling dying nameless serves a purpose. Alina gives him the kindness for not giving people a name to extol. He entrusted it to her and she does not betray that trust.

What I find interesting is that, in The Demon in the Wood, Baghra tells him:

He had given his name to Alina who, in a twisted way, was the closest person to his heart at that point, because he considered it his equal and in his twisted way.

To become a saint, to be worshipped, to save Ravka, to not be forgotten he has to share this piece of his heart; of himself. He has to let people read it. He considered Zoya weak because she was afraid of her heard but she was strong enough to ‘open the door’.

After living the way he did and making the choices he made, his heart can never open the same way as hers did, but this is as close as his character could come to it without Leigh glossing over all he’s done.

[acrystalbirdie]

a separate post about emily gwen (creator of the 7-stripe inclusive lesbian flag) and her views on bi lesbians, because i don't want to derail a post for lesbians who find safety under her flag and want to support her monetarily/are looking for a place to buy lesbian pride items.

this isn't me saying to buy or not buy from her. this is meant to be an informative post. with that said, under the cut are screenshots of my past interactions with her when explaining my stance on bi lesbianism from the perspective of a nonbinary person. long post ahead

these are dated from july 2019, when i reached out anonymously to her on her curiouscat. her opinion might have changed since then, but i'm unsure of this. i acknowledge now that this may read as an attack bc i came to her with my opinion already made up, trying to convince her. these asks were prompted by some anti bi/pan lesbian tweets she made that day, but the context isn't necessary

[image ID: a screenshot of @diabolicdyke's curiouscat. an ask from july 22, 2019 features the following text.

you tweeted today about disliking the word "queer" for yourself and as a blanket term, and that's 100% valid! other people have a deep connection with the word - even with its original meaning of "weird" but that doesn't mean you have to like it or use it, and this gives no one the right to describe you using that word. as far as I've seen, you don't have a problem with others self identifying as queer as long as it doesn't apply to you. does this same logic not apply to the term "bi lesbian"?

self-identified queer people are not responsible for the violence that has been enacted among the LGBT+ community, because we are all seen as the same to bigots. this would be the same for anyone that would personally use the term bi lesbian. even if you don't get why people would call themselves queer or bi lesbians their removal does not suddenly make us "acceptable to cishet society."

in addition, you are supportive of he/him lesbians (justly!), but hearing a lesbian refer to her absent partner as "him" can also lead others to assume she is straight or receptive to men's advances. this contradicts the claim that bi lesbians are dangerous for implying male attraction, because they are not the only ones who do so, nor should they or he/him lesbians be blamed for causing lesbophobia.

finally, bisexuality isn't always restricted to the gender binary, and people who use that label aren't responsible for or deserve the binarism that results. if a person describes themselves as bisexual for liking women and nonblnary people, they aren't "asking" for male violence nor are they personally responsible for society's lack of awareness around women, women-leaning folk, and nonbinary people as a whole.

is this something we can civilly discuss? I'd like to hear your thoughts about this, but if this makes you uncomfortable or offends you there's no need to answer. thanks for reading, I know this was rather long 🧡💗

- Anonymous

the response from diabolicdyke reads:

This isn't something we can civilly discuss because 'bi lesbians' are both lesbophobic and biphobic and also don't exist. You like men? Keep the word lesbian out of your lesbophobic, selfish mouth. There have already been men harassing lesbians because they think they can be bi. You're making up a bullshit term that hurts people. If you're attracted to men but still have a preference for women? THAT'S STILL JUST BISEXUALITY.

/end ID.]

[image ID: a screenshot of diabolicdyke's curiouscat. an ask from july 22, 2019 features the following text.

you can be bisexual without liking men... there are more than two genders... nonbinary lesbians and he/him lesbians already exist and aren't responsible for 'inciting" male violence.

I'm not saying that sapphic people should treat women and woman-leaning folk as different. I'm saying that nonbinary people overall are not the same gender as women and this is a way the term bi lesbian can be used - bisexuality does not inherently mean male/female and it's not any sapphic's fault that men will be violent because that is victim blaming them for not doing enough to educate allies. this is like saying "you chose to call yourself queer, you brought this bigotry on yourself and you make all of us look bad"

I don't know how else to say this - it's binarist to assume bi lesbians like men. bi lesbians *do not like men.* there are more than two genders. bi people as a whole aren't to blame for forced heterosexual violence on either the gay or lesbian population. this sexuality is not inherently damaging.

- Anonymous

the response from diabolicdyke reads:

You're ignoring three things:

1- all the nonbinary people who say that what you're saying is bullshit (esepcially nonbinary lesbians)

2- the fact that most bisexual lesbians say they ARE attracted to men

3- the fact that the term bisexual lesbian has TERF origins

/end ID.]

[image ID: a screenshot of diabolicdyke's curiouscat. an ask from july 22, 2019 features the following text.

I'm nonbinary and there's a large part of nonbinary Twitter that agrees with me - bi lesbians aren't replacing nonbinary lesbians. however I can see this is getting us nowhere and there's no room for civil discussion, as you yourself stated. I genuinely hope you have a nice day

- Anonymous

the response from diabolicdyke reads:

Replacing? What are you talking about? Bisexual and lesbian are two separate terms, that's the end of that. Considering that the vast majority of lesbians think this whole thing is grossly lesbophobic, and you are ignoring that, I hope you have a crap day.

/end ID.]

i feel like my arguments are compelling, with the most important one being that self identification is not responsible for anti-LGBTQ+ violence. this places blame on the individual instead of looking at the actual perpetrators of lesbophobia. wlw should not be blamed for the actions of lesbophobic men.

i have roughly the same opinion now, two years later, with one exception: in the ask i specified that bi lesbians are not attracted to men. that was a mistake on my end to define an identity i didn't have myself. i also realize now that it doesn't matter if bi lesbians are attracted to men. these labels are for individuals to define their attraction however they like, and labels should not be "prescriptive," trying to encompass a single definition that must be adhered to.

i gave my opinion because i felt as a nonbinary person that my gender was encompassed under bisexuality/romanticism, and thus that it is possible to be bisexual without having attraction to men, by acknowledging nonbinary alignments as a separate attraction from women. this doesn't change that there are nonbinary lesbians who feel comfortable with being perceived as woman-aligned or non-men. i personally am just not one of them.

[strawberry1212]

Asian drama female lead passivity

I feel like a lot of aspects of female lead (FL) passivity is discussed (the fish kiss being the most famous example), but I wanted to systematically analyze each trope under the theory of female passivity and its feminist implications.

This topic has been stuck in my mind ever since I read a blog years ago (literally like six years ago so I’m sorry I have no idea where it is, I can’t link it) talking about how intimacy in Asian dramas is always portrayed as something women relent to giving up half-heartedly, and men one sidedly pursue. Women are chaste, men are lustful, and women are yielding to men, that is the essential message.

This dynamic plays out in Western media as well--the movie Don Jon is a super interesting analysis comparing how women are indoctrinated by romcoms, to how men are indoctrinated by porn. So women attach grand romantic gestures and romantic commitment to their self worth, because that’s what the girl gets in her happy ending, while men attach it to sexual prowess/having women do kinky sexual favors.

This dynamic is super harmful because it works to suppress female sexuality, as well as male emotionality. People are always surprised when a woman would rather just want sex (or a career) over a romantic commitment. And men are applauded for having the bare minimum of emotional awareness because it’s so rare.

I think a form of Asian drama female lead (FL) passivity that is most talked about is the infamous “fish kiss.” See exhibit A:

The guy initiates the kiss on the usually unsuspecting girl, as if the girl ever going in for the kiss herself would be too sexually aggressive. And as if even enjoying the kiss would be too much, they have her just stand there eyes wide open. It’s awkward, and even slightly funny to watch, but our critique often ends here. But I think the fish kiss is a symptom of a much deeper problem. 

You will notice that female lead passivity is present in all physical interactions between the romantic interests.

The pull in hug:

Which sometimes the FL looks uncomfortable to frightened in:

I even found a meme, so I know I’m not the only who thinks this is weird:

(meme/photo credit: https://goliath1357.tumblr.com/post/27115253892/kdramareasons-awkward-one-sided-hugs-k-drama)

What I don’t like about this trope is first of all, it makes female consent seem less romantic. It romanticizes this idea of male pursuit/female passivity, the man will protect her, the man will pursue her (basically like an object), the man will do all the work in making the relationship progress, etc., and it romanticizes this dynamic to women--this is easy to romanticize for us, because to the most of us that aren’t being constantly pursued by two hot men, this pursuit dynamic seems like a dream boat. Often the kdrama female lead (due to the Initial Misunderstanding trope) will even dislike and push away the male lead--and yet he still pursues her, how romantic! -_- Except in real life, the guy aggressively pursuing you and ignoring you disinterest is not romantic.

And the issue is on both sides, because it teaches women to just stand there, not express consent, and not express sexual/intimacy enthusiasm when we’re feeling it (that would be ~unladylike~). And on the other side, it teaches men to do all the pursuing and to assume that a girl standing frozen, wide eyed, and often looking scared as you kiss her, is consent. Sometimes the guy even interprets a clear “no” as consent. (Honestly I’m not even sure if these Asian drama writers are thinking along the lines of “xyz is consent,”...like I’m not sure how often they even think of the concept of consent tbh.)

But anyways, passivity. is not. consent!!!! That’s why we have the slogan “Yes mean yes,” meaning both parties must have enthusiastic, clear consent, for respectful intimacy. Asian dramas discourage women from expressing an enthusiastic “yes,” and it teaches men not to expect this “yes,” so they can steamroll past passivity and even rejection.

And I know some people will be boohooing me on this. “But sudden kisses and hugs are so romantic!” people will say. But what is “romantic,” like many things, is a social construct. We think things are romantic because they’ve always been presented to us as romantic, with swelling music in the background and the implicit understanding that anything is ok because they are Soulmates(TM) that end up happy together. We construct our idea of what is romantic largely out of media.

But that is not real life, and carrying those messages over to real life (as we inevitably all do), is dangerous. I just moved to Japan so this especially hits close to home for me: I dress conservatively by American standards, but I couldn’t bring a quarter of my clothes when I moved because I worried men on trains would interpret them as revealing, and therefore I would be “asking for it.” I, and I’m sure many women will feel me on this, think about and fear sexual assault very often. And when we don’t enshrine active consent, we perpetuate rapist culture.

Since “romantic” is anything our society constructs it to be, let’s romanticize enthusiastic consent! (like this NCT song!!) I think sudden kisses can be cute when you’ve established boundaries that it’s is ok, but it scares me that men and women are watching this and thinking suddenly kissing a person you haven’t discussed boundaries/intimacy with at all is cute. It’s all fun and games when it’s the hot male lead kissing the girl you know he’s going to end up with, but it’s not cute when it’s real life men thinking they’re entitled to women’s bodies.

Other examples of female passivity:

I stopped watching Moonlight Drawn over the Clouds at precisely this scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6I0WXeD-dc&ab_channel=KBSWORLDTV

because it was so painful to watch her sitting there like a fish as the guys got these cool fight scenes. Like girllll literally do anything, throw a rock, something! First dramas routinely disable the female characters by making the male characters the able fighters, but even if you’re not an able fighter you can do more than just sit there like a lame duck -_- Especially the parts of these scenes where someone is standing over the girl with the sword and the writers don’t give the girl the presence of mind to simply run away, but they give the guy the presence of mind to somersault into the room, jump over ten monkey bars, slash the antagonist, and catch the girl bridal style on his way down. I guess the damsel in distress trope is as old as the book, but just the complete passivity so many female characters show in fight scenes as they need to be saved is really annoying and disempowering.

I think the worst part is their faces, they’re all like omg! this is so sad!

well girl you could have done literally ANYTHING other than sit there as he took ten bullets for you lmao. Women don’t exist to stand by and be saved!!! This is a historical drama but the modern drama version is when the guy is getting beat up by bullies or whatever and the girl just stands by and does nothing but look upset.

Another good trope that is under this passivity theme is the double wrist grab, where we not only have ONE male lead (ML) manhandling the FL, but TWO MLs. Ahh yes the only thing better than forcibly ignoring consent and the FL’s wishes is TWO men doing it.

I heard this recently even happened in True Beauty...which...that drama...truly I thought Kdramas were progressing until I saw how much people were hyping up that mess of misogyny (not to mention how boringly predictable it was). 

I can’t quite express this next trope in a screenshot, but something I also see a lot of is the ML professing his love to the FL and she sort of just stands there like O_O. Like she’s just sort of this object that sits there being admired? It’s just such an unnatural way to react to someone professing their love for you, and these scenes drag on for many minutes of just the ML’s dialogue so the female actress, having no lines, has no choice but to sit there O_O. Like give her lines! Give her reactions! Give her anything other than being wide eyed!!!!

And these physical interactions represent deeper emotional passivity in the female lead.

I’ve noticed it’s almost always the trend of the male lead falls later, but falls harder, and ultimately he puts more energy into making the relationship progress. Again, this buys into female fantasy, but it is an unhealthy fantasy that is grounded, I think, in our insecurities, and our fear of putting ourselves out there (so we would rather have someone pursue us than put ourselves out there and meet someone halfway).

This emotional passivity is why, weirdly enough, sometimes I will really like the drama because the girl is very stubbornly, openly, and aggressively pursuing the guy. A case of this is Itazura na Kiss, or Mischievous Kiss (there’s a Jdrama, Kdrama, and anime--I only watched the anime). Now the guy is downright meannnnn in Mischievous Kiss, this was not a healthy relationship at all, but there was something refreshing about the girl. Sure her aggression was in pursuing a man, but at least it was aggression, and I’d always only seen any hint of female sexuality/actively pursuing as something very stigmatized. 

I think a sister trope to the passivity trope is the innocence trope. The guy will literally take the initiative to profess his undying love to the FL and she’ll be like “what?? omg stop teasing you’re joking ahahha.” Why do FLs need to be so oblivious/innocent? I think it caters to the way media is seen through a male gaze but that’s a trope to deconstruct another time.

[bimboficationblues]

Doesn't saying liberalism ignores class conflict ignore liberal Socialist figures like Carlo Rosselli and Brett Heinz?

I won’t speak about Brett’s beliefs in specific because that’s tacky, though I suspect what I’m about to write will make our disagreements clear. But:

Answer 1) Sure, but liberal socialism isn’t a substantial force within liberalism. Like, most societies today are not organized around “liberal socialist” principles; the thing I was speaking on was liberalism as the organizational principles and prevailing worldview of global capitalism.

Answer 2) I don’t think liberalism ignores class conflict, per se. I think such a thing would be basically impossible for any modern political ideology or organization. In fact, liberalism is very obviously quite anxious about such conflict, and has been for centuries. For example, here’s late-blooming liberal socialist John Stuart Mill, in his Considerations on Representative Government (1861).

“Of the Infirmities and Dangers to Which Representative Government is Liable”:

In all countries there is a majority of poor, a minority who, in contradistinction, may be called rich. Between these two classes, on many questions, there is complete opposition of apparent interest. We will suppose the majority sufficiently intelligent to be aware that it is not for their advantage to weaken the security of property, and that it would be weakened by any act of arbitrary spoliation. But is there not a considerable danger lest they should throw upon the possessors of what is called realised property, and upon the larger incomes, an unfair share, or even the whole, of the burden of taxation; and having done so, add to the amount without scruple, expending the proceeds in modes supposed to conduce to the profit and advantage of the labouring class?

(Sidebar: At least part of Mill’s proposed solution to this “problem” was to give increased political and electoral power to the “better educated.”) 

Instead, my view is that liberalism attempts to obfuscate and paper over class conflict through several mechanisms, most notably nationalism, the state, and the legal contract (or the law more broadly). Since liberal socialists are not really opposed to any of those things, I think it would be fair to say that they are not making an especially radical break with that quality of liberal thought and practice.

Answer 3) I personally think that the concept of “liberal socialism” is mostly nonsense beyond like, a historical descriptor of a strain of thought, and that those who are now known as “liberal socialists” are not exempt from the obfuscation of class conflict. There’s Mill, who essentially adopted socialist language as a way of solving the problem I quoted above. There’s also Rosselli, who you mentioned, whose defining qualities are contrarianism towards the Comintern and exceptionally romanticized thinking about the liberal bourgeoisie. (Ironically, this puts him in greater continuity with vulgar “worldview Marxism” than he would realize.) And there’s Rawls, who rarely talks about class conflict and whose methods for changing society are exhausted by adding new inheritance laws to the U.S. Constitution and invading countries that we don’t like. We don’t like him around here.

(FWIW I think Rosselli is one of the more respectable of this bunch, as both an anti-fascist and as someone who has a comparatively more critical attitude towards how liberalism turned out.)

In other words, for the most part I think "liberal socialists” are just liberals who define both “socialism” and “liberalism” in highly idiosyncratic ways. This is part of what makes liberalism effective. It has just enough content and gaps to readily absorb ideas and discourses from other political philosophies while still remaining distinctly “liberal,” and in power, it has the ability to make other worldviews either play on its turf (money, state, positive law) or remain largely irrelevant.

It’s worth noting that Rosselli’s account of liberal socialism is essentially “socialism, but with liberal values like freedom and equality!” Socialism gives substance to liberalism’s “procedural” values. See Liberal Socialism (1930):

(Sidebar: Most of the historical picture here is patently false.)

Now on the surface level, there’s anything inherently objectionable about the idea of socialism (as an ideology and a movement) being a descendant of liberalism; this seems fairly obvious, even for most strains of Marxism and anarchism.

But Rosselli’s formulation presumes 1) that liberalism as an “ideal” is in some way meaningfully committed to freedom and equality, which it has not, in my view, and 2) that liberalism - again, the ideal - “owns” those values, that they are in some way original to liberalism (and that they are somehow more constitutive of liberalism’s identity than, say, markets). That’s why Rosselli sets himself up as an anti-Marxist: his view is that Marxism is inherently incompatible with the “liberal values” that he thinks are important. This is also Charles Mills’ view, and I think it’s untenable for a couple different reasons.

I think like any worldview, liberalism is made up of: 

an axiology (various value commitments to individual pursuit of the Good, protection of rights, “””””consensual””””” governance),

a social ontology (usually atomized & self-interested individuals who are of equal moral personhood),

a theory of history (progress/accumulation),

a political methodology (reform through positive law, basic necessity of the state-form),

and an economic worldview (private property is a positive right, and markets and money are the most effective available force for allocating resources and preserving civilization).

[Credit to Mills for part of this framework.]

So like, I don’t think it actually makes sense to say that committing to some portions of that axiology or social ontology (those that emphasize individual freedom and self-actualization, and equal moral personhood) means that you’re doing a “liberal” form of socialism. Many Marxists and anarchists are committed to those values and are very obviously not liberals, or even “liberal socialists” - what renders these things distinct is the political methodology and economic worldview!

And if you’re committing to all portions of the liberal worldview, then I guess that’s fine, but at that point it seems like you’re just doing liberalism, and I’m not sure what socialism has to do with it.