#i think its pretty good ngl
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"HAH!! Take the L, Gordon FEETman!"
#just got my hands on a 0.9mm mechanical pencil#i think its pretty good ngl#also trying to study lighting with this#in which i failed miserably#half life vr but the ai is self aware#hlvrai#hlvrai benrey#benrey hlvrai#benrey#artists on tumblr#my art#hlvrai fanart#fanart
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Hello! Random whipper snipper! Share a WIP of your work!
ooh, with pleasure. six the musical araleyn fanart? in the year 2k24? more likely than you think xDD
i realize this looks finished, but technically i'm still deciding whether to add a background or not lol. still, for the sake of sharing a proper WIP, here's a line or two from an araleyn brainworm WIP that i started reworking yesterday (mild tw for religious guilt and period-typical internalized homophobia from aragon's pov):
She remembers sharing her bed with Anne at Henry's behest, remembers the nights of tossing and turning and trying not to think about Anne asleep next to her-- remembers waking up to dark hair spilling across her pillow and the press of blood-warm bosoms against her own, softer than sin, as hot as the Devil, remembers lying still as death, mouthing prayers into the heat of Anne's neck like an act of penance.
#six the musical#six the musical fanart#six the musical araleyn#araleyn#araleyn fanart#i... cannot remember if it's fandom custom to use the full name tags#ah so it appears it is in fact fandom custom#catherine of aragon#catalina de aragon#anne boleyn#today we hazard a fleeting glimpse into the abtruse psyche of the dusty...#what other fandoms do they contain? wouldnt you like to know weather boy#well i mean honestly i don't know either but we'll find out as they rotate thru my conciousness#not trek#yeaaah i'm a spones girl (gender neutral) through and through. The more you know#and before you ask no this is not the og old married couple that went so hard i gained a type in ships forever after#though they are pretty up there in my blorbo rotation cycle#... on some level i may be yelling into the void with this one but no harm in that yeah?#but maybe the six fandom isn't as dead as i've been assuming. who knows? this is my self indulgent blog dammit#ill be self indulgent <33#also i keep forgetting it's pride month xDD my straight irls wish me happy pride and im always like OH Right nice yeah#but i haven't drawn these two in so long!! feels so good stretching the old married sapphics muscle again#dust writes#so happy about the vibe in this one ngl! theyre Soft ok. i like that very much. And also this aragon is so my type LMAO#really rambly tonight whoops. but i guess its the closest to a non-art post i can get to keep my page navigable? mm#...dammit now I'm thinking about araleyn in spones' roles. also i REALLY really should study#in hugely dire straits right now yall except i can't stop drawing/writing. whooooops.#sapphic#pride month#dust talks
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2010 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#aaaaaahhhh what a good podium!! he looks so good bark bark bark#i love how theres like 2 immensely iconic pictures from this gp#its still so cool that he won his first race with ferrari!!#tho its a shame bcs its mostly due to seb's technical issues :(#not saying i dont think fernando shouldve won but rather that i was excited for a potential vettonso podium sigh#i already made a post w my thoughts abt it ^ but man i rly loved how 3/4 of this race was vettonso playing cat and mouse#and all the discussion post finish were abt comparing thier performances#twas a very exciting moment for me as you prob know ;;;; so its a shame that after all that they didnt end up on the podium together#OH MY SPEAKING OF THAT. it was so hilarious bcs they cut from nando celebrating in the car to seb's car on the side of the road SOBBBBBB#ah at least we got a little webbonso moment. that moment in my race notes literally says 'webbonso???' cause mark came from nowhere#anyways that gif where hes spraying champagne(rose water ig) at the camera makes me FERALLLLL AAKUHDKJAK#ngl even tho its not champagne it sounded pretty tasty. sparkling water/rose water/pomegranate juice i think?#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#fa14#2010 bahrain gp#<- feels rly cool to write 2010 finally
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critter..
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#lili zanotto#razputin aquato#ngl pretty surprised its not to hard to pen doodle him#but it does make a good style challenge for me to draw the cast when i cant erase sdkjsd#last one was by request from my bud but i think raz deserves a little shadow creature rights#my art#q
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lemme tattoo u with some dumb lil cute design then u n then tell everyone its ur kids drawing
#u could say let my kid practice but that may raise more concern idk tbh i dont know if ur supposed 2 let a kid tattoo or not?#told them they should do this with one i rly fucked up pretty bad once ngl lmaoo n they didnt respond which 😡 im serious#look me tattooing u is a 50/50#ive done some rly good ones on me n others n ive done some questionable ones but look if u let me tattoo u i think u know ur taking that#risk ngl lol bc every time im not confident im like uhhh i can try lol n if someone says that whos about 2 tattoo u thats on u okay#bc god did i fuck up one on angel lol but another friend i gave a gr8 one n my brother got a gr8 one too n one person was my test canvas 4#a bit so uh half n half tbh n one person fucked up their own bc i said dont get in the ocean till its healed thats not on me then ngl n i#think thats everyone ive tattooed but lol the alarming part is i actually have no idea which uhhhhh i have lots of gaps in my memory due 2#drug abuse n just not bein real 4 months at a time lol#batbaby rambles
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omg “would you fall in love with me again” for iwoamot foxquin im sick to my stomach
You know I've never actually listened to Epic but listening to this song I prolly should. BUT YEAH ANON YOU ARE SO RIGHT ESP WITH THAT LINE "Would you fall in love with me again If you knew all I’ve done?" LIKE OUGHHHHHHHH DONT EVEN HIT ME UP
#ngl any song that has even a WHIFF of tragic romance makes me perk up my head like#“QUINFOX???In this song? its more likely than you think”#commander fox#Quinlan Vos#tcw#sw#iwoamot#ask#anon#talkin#star wars#Notable list of songs ive deemed 'official QuinFox songs':#'I see you' by Little Simz is a good one#“Leave a Tender moment alone” by Billy Joel is also damn good#“Pretty Boy” by The Neighbourhood#aaaaannnddd “Kill the Director” and “I dont know why I like you but I do” both by the Wombats are also pretty good#honestly that whole “Beautiful People Will Ruin your life” album by The wombats is pretty Quinfox coded to me but mostly on a vibes basis#OK ENOUGH YAPPING FROM ME LMAOOOOO YOU GET ME STARTED ON MUSIC AND I NEVER SHUT UP
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Made it into old yharnam!
Cathedral ward is pretty blocked off for now, I've got just enough leg room to run about and grind the enemies but that's about it. Met Alfred!! He's got a way smoother voice than I remember, but knowing what I do of him gives me the creeps. Helpful enough though - I can summon him at the entrance of the blood starved beasts church.
The funny thing about playing this game with great general knowledge of it is that I recognise many rooms and important locations, but I don't know where on earth those places are, so I'm still stumbling blindly onto them. There's a lot of stuff I know, surface level, like the history of Queen yharnam and the vile bloods and the healing church, but I'm uncovering a lot of smaller stuff that adds to the richness of the world.
The gatling sniper on the tower uses a boom weapon, which means he's a (remnant?) member of the crazy explosion sect of hunters. And I can't put it into words, but I feel like that makes sense with the heavy and thankless duty he has taken on, almost sacrificing himself to protect and guard the quarantined community of old yharnam where no one else would stand for them. Something about the bull headed determination despite what society might say, a deeply emotional morality and a lifetime among monsters and men.
Like I would not make it as a hunter because I read the sign and was like 'welp none of my business let's turn back' but unfortunately that's the only way to progress!
Old yharnam is pleasingly vertical, very easy to get around despite being very disorienting. I don't know how they managed to make an 'old town' area in the gothic cobblestone wet dream of an old town but they did it and they did it WELL.
I did get stuck on getting the messenger bandages in that one corner of the beast church like seven/eight times (why so harrrrrd) but I only died twice to the frenzied mob of parishioners, so, win! I felt so bad each time, though, like I'm not here to kill anyone I just want to loot the place (and interrogate the sniper) I'll be on my way! Their singing was almost nice, shame they kept spotting me (how?!) and starting up those awful screeches. And then they chased me to the ends of the earth!!! Glowing red eyes!! Very scary!!!!
I've reached the blood starved beast so far, but I know that she's a tough one (and FAST, killed me quick) so I'm going to grind the new areas and crank up the levels. Learn my way around them like I know central like the back of my hand. I'm really good at parrying to visceral (thank you zelda breath of the wild) but bullets are SO EXPENSIVE. WHY.
#Ngl I am proud of my ability to parry it always feels so good to pull off#This is my first souls like game and certainly the first with proper builds and level ups (normally it's the pokemon doing that lol)#So I think I'm doing pretty well!! Very fun.#The grave keepers (stave and purple lantern guys) scared me at the start but they're such push overs lol so easy to visceral first try#Cathedral ward is interesting because it reminds me of fog canyon from hollow knight#It's really interesting to see its inspirations in reverse. I already was used to the shade mechanic (blood echoes retrieved)#But yeah fog canyon starts off as a very limited area that guides you to the next area but as you unlock more paths it blooms into this#Huge biome that almost acts like a shortcut hub to most anywhere because it's so central on the map. And it eventually has#The last piece of the key needed to the end. And that reminds me a lot of cathedral ward.#Very good game design I like it#I can parry werewolves and giants and grave keepers and townsfolks almost 100% of the time! It's so handy!!#Definitely developing the gun further in my build it's way too useful I JUST WISH BULLETS WERE CHEAPER#bloodborne
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!
sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll
also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me
Pinup belongs to @turntableart
#read all the tags before you reblog otherwise you will be confused#i feel like i got the body type wrong uaughhh#i feel like the proportions are inaccurate#im blaming it on the clothes i promise the sketch looked good then the clothes went and ruined it#i feel really bad admitting this but now that i think about it i literally never draw chubby characters#all my addisons are pretty long and gangly for the most part and then spamton is just very small in my style hes not really pudgy#and tbh i didnt really draw full bodies very often before addisons and spamton but my one (1) oc was also pretty long and lanky#probably because i myself am pretty long and lanky#ueuugough hauguh#i need to practice more#also i feel like the shoes look weird#im generally not too happy with it but its ok ig#i was terrified of making the features too exaggerated and being offensive and i think i went to much the other way and just made him skinn#ffs#ill draw him again i promise#and it will look better pinky promise#🤙🤙🤙 theres no proper pinky emoji#i love him tho hes cute#i really like his original design#uururuguggg#ugh debating whether i should even post this or if i should keep tinkering with it#im gonna tinker with it a bit more i will continue writing tags when im done#ok tinkering over im much happier with it now#i made him a bit shorter and that solved all my problems#i think i have a habit of drawing characters too tall ngl lmao#also not too happy with the rendering but its good enough#uh im only posting the tinkered version that im happy with so if you want the untinkered version then just ask lol#pixel art#art#turn off the lights arg
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easy to remember hiragana
#and ° . what was it called...im in bed i dont wanna google or get up#to read my notes#anyway just know i made a joke to myself that the na's skipped it and gave their#puyo puyo#puyo sig#im studying but not very hard;; on や but still havinf trouble remembering た&は so...vry bad of me i know;;;#anyway!! む is a nice charcter flows nicely. な is fun too#i thought i wouldnt like it cause i dont like how i write すits ugly and bad and not even “cute”#not even strong like a flag pole...my す is no good#my て is pretty cute tho. very round :) (maybe more than it should be ngl)#last thing but i think i get the “your mother is a horse” joke from a learning Chinese post#like i actually kinda get it its cool#also the naming conventions. i mean i didnt get it at first i just accepted it as a thing but actually reading about it makes ya go#“oh! like im robin. and im robyn with a y”#“im shu spelled with the kanji for horse.” “im mio. spelled with bearing fruit and center.”#i get it now i get it#oh ふ looks like an old guys nose#im also.not good at it (shamful i know;;;; )#also why does は have extra stuff. what was it called. the to ha's which is why they have the ° .#mmmm good old sleepy....why was i up so early i did have work today...i need a nap...a bed nap..#snork mimimimimi#gn
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DUDE THIS CW CHAPTER IS FUCKING ME IN THE ASS RN WHY IS THERE NOTHING ON MY OUTLINE .... its okay the adhd pulled me elsewhere and i pruned the www outline so things are more compact/coherent (im excited). ANYWAYS SORRY IF THIS NEXT UPDATE IS SLOW TO COME OUT HRKKK
#personal#47 chapters instead of 52 now!#mostly because povs are mikey and donnie like exclusively#but there are three exceptions for raph april and leo. “interludes”#and theyre chapters that i want to be long and full of plot so i condensed some stuff#actually now that i think of it i could put a really important scene at the end of april's interlude....#id just have to cut out a mikey chapter in the middle :(#might be a good thing actually. it reveals something i could choose to keep a mystery instead#MIGHT BE 46 INSTEAD YALL SORRY#im excited for where we went wrong have i mentioned it yet .....#ill probably go for a 4k per chapter minimum but they could get a lot longer than that i feel#NOT excited to write the first chapter though. like donnie and leo's introductions are really funny and stupid but pretty much recapping-#-canon events with small differences is a little bluh#thats why the plot takes a HARD turn after act 1 ngl... youll see#doing more with shredder as a threat#EDIT ITS 44
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ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.
the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,
but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.
It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.
#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the#colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and#yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its#absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the#provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing#seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp#their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid!#also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl#ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat#and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way'#this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural#conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his#ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more#complex than that by this point aaaaaugh#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#siren says#I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em)#ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I#like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona#experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably#upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people
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The marvel of technology is that a large wall clock in my living room quits working, and I order a new movement for ten bucks, but when the quartz movement goes out in my watch, I’m quoted more than $200 to replace it when the watch wasn’t worth that to begin with.
When the backlight goes out on my laptop screen, I’m quoted anywhere from $300 to $700 to fix it (and highly discouraged to do so because despite working perfectly it’s almost ten years old), then told its a motherboard issue, thereby forcing me to buy a new laptop anyway for hundreds more. But a lightbulb in my room costs like three bucks to replace.
#honestly. fuck apple#I’m very much considering returning to windows. that’s what it’s coming to#and I’m not like ‘apple superiority’ or whatever. I’ve used apple for some years now#but ngl. I think technology peaked with windows 7#windows 7 my beloved#I’ve liked the apple interface better since i got a mac laptop. I’d go back to windows but I think they’ve gotten worse as well#windows 8. imo a monstrosity and crime against humanity#my dad has a (suuuuper basic) window laptop. which I reckon has window 11#it’s meh. not a big fan#BUT GOD FORBID APPLE SELL A REGULAR QUALITY LAPTOP WOTH A USB A PORT#FUCK APPLE. FUCK THEM SO MUCH#and it’s like I can pay 200 bucks or more for more storage. or I can use an external hard drive#I’d buy one of those slim thumb drives that barely stick out from the laptop. and be totally cool. cheaper than extra storage#but oh hey. look. they don’t make discrete flash drives for type c usb yet because they can’t make it that small yet#well I have the laptop. and I have the return policy. and I might use it#when fixing something is more expensive than buying a new one. we’ve fucked up as a society#and well. it’s pretty screwed for a good while now#Linux is also coming into play. I’ll do anything at this point#I just want my old laptop to work again. it’s my baby and I’ve cried several times over its demise
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actually i am going to elaborate on that psychoanalyzing blorbo post from days ago lol. long story short i've been trying since abt september to kind of start getting my shit together, maybe get into some kind of club or hobby that will help me work on my anxiety, maybe do some bucket list kind of stuff i've been putting off. and then last month mom got diagnosed w breast cancer
my Consistent response to things going wrong in my life is avoidance, isolating myself and trying to repress shit, so i gave up on all of those plans immediately bc i felt like it would put strain on my family and i started trying my best to focus on literally anything else bc i have shit to do + people/a job that needs me + i really couldn't face the reality of it right away
and that news came literally days after act 1 aired. so watching caitlyn then go on to try to repress any and all of her emotions/wants in favour of trying to be the person she believes everyone around her wants her to be and seeing exactly how badly that fucks up her life. felt extremely fucking pointed let me fucking tell you
#moms doing lots of tests to figure out how shes gonna proceed but its looking good atm. probably caught it early#from what i understand the plan is to just cut out the tumour and shell be pretty much ok? i dont even think she needs to do chemo#and im doing ok. really trying my best to not do all of my usual shit lol. i have great friends which helps a lot#im not Fine ngl. it sucks. going through family history and literally the only people in my maternal line who didnt die of cancer#died young in some kind of accident before they could develop cancer. inc nan. who died when mom was my age#but im dealing w it! and mom seems ok if nothing else#but lacans mirror as a literary theory is fucking REAL and it haunts me every day of my life#levi.txt#cancer tw#this isnt any kind of cry for help or looking for sympathy/to talk abt it or god forbid trying to win fandom arguments etc etc#just like. its relevant to general life shit. itll probably come up bc its hard to completely avoid talking abt so i should mention it#and i think its funny the way the universe works out sometimes and how art can find you right when you need it#i feel like the cat in that post thats like 'see how jonesy survives alien bc she lets ripley put her in the carrier?'#'hello lesbian w avoidant coping mechanisms going through a massively upsetting life event. watch This'
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struggling
#im actually impressed at how far they made it ngl i didnt even think i could make it past floor 2#but someone quartz and varlaquin could do most of the stages on floor 1 with no leaks or just 1-2#maybe ill try again when i get that jieyun m3 the 4 sp really makes a difference#anyway the artifacts in this run sucked i was running entirely on objective shields#if i could get the hp regen and some atk speed artifacts they would be unstoppable#probably#sorry im quartz strongest soldier like 0 def is dumb but she makes pretty decent good arts tank and the s2 stun does come in handy#but cyclops grandma is definitely carrying this run#jy is pretty fun to use too tbh i mostly only used fia and meteorite for aoe sniper gaming but i like her chakram throwing its fun#sorry rambling again.. but i really like this artist.. pls make a 6star operator and end my suffering
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Anyways do yall want the itgo playlist I've been gatekeepers since September? I no longer feel self conscious about it.
#i think its pretty solid ngl#its like both a good “this fits the vibe of many different parts of the book” way and just it stands pretty well as a playlist#if this gets out#itgo
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