#i think it would still end up doing some shady business anyway

[rapidhighway]

as a little exercise i would like to try drawing what Licho would look like if it really got Knux's body only for itself... I'm still not sure what it would do when let out into the world in a physical body. Probably fraud

[hischokehold]

Pretty Please?

older!könig with a pretty girl who won't leave him alone.

"Hello, mister officer." Pretty doe eyes nearly melt in his, tilted up so sweetly just so you could meet his gaze. Arms locked around his, clinging so gently to his biceps like you have been for the past two weeks.

König grumbled, barely taking a glance at you and your provocative outfit, teasing him. "Back for more, little girl? What did I tell you?" He tsks, baby blues barely evading your exposed cleavage pressed up against him.

"To focus on my studies. I am. Swear I am. Aced my exams, don't I deserve a reward?" You hummed, though he found your words rather hard to believe when you were so obviously checking him out.

You've been getting bold recently, haven't you, liebling?

It all started with a simple encounter, really; with König saving your drunken state from a group of men in his local bar. The perfect damsel in distress. He had pulled you by his hip, dragging you to the nearest bench to slip your glittery high heels right back into your feet. It was one of the rare moments where the colonel wasn't in the front lines. Still, he found himself a little pastime, using his influence to do some shady deals in the city's biggest club.

He didn't exactly expect to have such a cute thing clinging to him.

After a few minutes of listening to your rambling, cooing at you, König finally called you a cab and sent you off. A nice encounter, that's all it was.

Until he found you and your little self began throwing yourself at him almost every night, practically begging for his attention. "Just wanted to thank you for last time," You pout, batting your lashes at him. "Can't I do that?"

You could still see the remnants of blues in his knuckles from beating those bastards to a pulp. His big hands pat the small of your back in a reprimanding manner, shamefully reminding you that you were smitten by a man who you met barely a week ago.

"A thank you would suffice, darling."

König stood his ground. He had morals— what little he has left anyways. You're pretty, no doubt about that. He knew he shouldn't be taking advantage of such a fragile girl. But at the end of the day, he's just a man. Surely, you knew what would happen if you provoked him too much with your womanly charms?

"Y'shouldn't be playing around with men like me, little girl." He drawls, accent thick as he lightly taps your soft cheeks. Something clicked in you at the mention of the rather degrading pet name, pupils fully blown as you nodded at his every word, unable to register anything anymore.

An "I like you." comes from your plump, glossed up lips before you could even control it. Your 100th confession this week alone. Many would call you shameless and maybe you'd feel an ounce of it if you weren't so busy eyeing up his bulging biceps through his tight-fitted polo shirt.

He's intense, you think. And he makes you painfully shy.

"Hm?" He tilts his head, and he's so handsome, and gruff, and big that he has your mind spinning around in circles and doing backflips. Soft brows furrow as brutish hands cup your cheeks, lips puckering up into a small 'o'.

The tip of his tongue swipes down his lips while he indulges in the sight. A pretty girl, a young thing looking up at him all stupid and dazed out. Begging for an older man's attention. "How naughty." He tugs you closer, puffing cigarette smoke all over your pretty face, leaving coughing from the sudden intrusion in your nostrils.

He chuckles darkly, lightly patting the small of your back. "Be a good girl and run along, ja?" He flicks his cig to the side, putting its flame out with a stomp.

"N-No! please," you breathe, manicured fingertips finding your way to his belt, slithering along the lines. His eyes never leave yours, darkening as you inch closer to his manhood, leaving you dizzied.

There's hurried chattering in the background, a scantily clad group of three wore worried expressions on their faces, calling out your name.

"Ah, your friends are here, darling." You don't even have time to respond before he's nudging you out the dark alley, sending you off your merry wya but not before giving your rear a little slap.

"And keep that backside lookin' pretty for me."

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

I am OBSESSED with mean!Jason Todd. I just imagine him saving you from doing something he thinks is really stupid, like walking alone in Gotham after dark and then just being downright mean about it after he takes you home. Unf. Obsessed.

EJEUGDAKAM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH OVER THIS OMG♥️♥️♥️ tysm for the request!

Mean! Jason Todd (Part 2)

Sensitive Subjects: Smut, anal (kinda blurring the lines of noncon...?), a probably toxic situationship

Mean! Jason Todd who has some weird situationship with you. After you hooked up the first time, it just kinda kept going. Do you love him? You aren't sure. Does he love you? Probably not, but he gets possessive as hell regardless.

"What was that shit about?" He took you to a bar before coming back to his apartment once before it became a regular occurance. His face was twisted into that usual scowl and broad arms crossed over his chest. But, oh, how that look gave you some butterflies.

"Him?" You glance over at the guy you'd previously been chatting with a few moments ago through the loud, crowded bar. "He's just a friend." Of course you were telling the truth: the sex with Jason was just too good to pass up by sleeping with somebody else or getting into a serious relationship.

"My ass." An immediate scoff was his biggest reaction. And, to be fair, that's probably the least jealous thing you could've gotten out of him: the guy could've ended up beaten to a pulp on the sidewalk if Jason saw fit. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Mean! Jason Todd who didn't know you worked the late shift at said bar and thought you were just blowing him off for some other guy when you said you were busy. So, when he saw you walking home from your shift down the shady alleys of Gotham nearing 2 AM, he was pissed.

A quick, forceful grab is all you could feel as a broad, muscled figure approached from behind. There wasn't much you could even do other than thrash and claw at his biceps. "Quit your fucking squirming!" Wait, Jason?

Your head was barely able to turn and place him into view, but, surprisingly, you weren't being kidnapped and it was just your situationship. "What the hell are you doing?" His grip loosens slightly after a moment, allowing you to push yourself away from his chest and arms and back down to your feet.

"What the hell are you doing? Do you know what could happen walking out here this late?" Jason is practically screaming at this point, the sound reverberating off the brick walls of shady Gotham apartments. "Or are you trying to get yourself kidnapped?"

Mean! Jason Todd who practically drags you back to his apartment after, absolutely seething with anger and... Worry? No. You wouldn't dare call it that. Not yet, anyway... Maybe something closer to a jealousy. Maybe he was just still jealous of some hypothetical guy you didn't even have plans with.

"What the actual hell did you think you were doing? Do you know how unsafe it is to be walking near Crime Alley at night?" The door is immediately slammed behind him when he takes you back to his apartment. "Look, if you're blowing me off for some other guy, that's fine. But if you're seriously dumb enough to think that I would be okay with you out by yourself regardless, you need to think again."

"Jay, I was just coming home from-" You start, putting down your work bag on his crappy coffee table like you usually do.

"No, don't give me that shit. You were coming home from a little boy toy's place, weren't you?" He's already on his way to grab the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet next to his fridge. "Should've known you'd be just as much of a slut as she was. Hell, a dumb one at that."

Mean! Jason Todd who doesn't even feel bad as he sees you get a little misty eyed. Or maybe he does... It ws really hard to tell when you could barely see through the tears welling up in your beautiful eyes.

Mean! Jason Todd who really ends up getting on your nerves after the first half hour of arguing. There was nowhere to back away to when he came up and towered over you in his dingy, quiet apartment. And so, you did what you could.

"Oh yeah? Well maybe if that greedy little cunt of yours wasn't begging for attention-" Jason wasn't even yelling anymore. In fact, he'd resorted to slut shaming you only ten minutes into the fight.

And then, a loud slap. Your hand stung. A lot. So did his face, probably. And before you could even think about how to apologize or get yourself out of the situation, Jason is picking you up, hauling you over his shoulder, and carrying you to his bedroom.

Mean! Jason Todd who absolutely tortures you as soon as you're in his bedroom. Sure, you'd both had some pretty rough sex before, but he's never been quite as unhinged as he is right now.

"Look at this cunt..." A light slap to your bare clit as he kneels between your legs. "So fucking wet... You're already dripping." Jason cant help but let out a light scoff. In all honesty, it was probably closer to a sadistic laugh. "Is this all for me, or is it just some other guy's leftovers?"

Mean! Jason Todd who knows for a fact that you're not a huge fan of anal. So, even if you did sleep with somebody else (which he's starting to realize wasn't the case), then at least that tight little hole would be unused.

You couldn't help but shiver slightly as you felt him rub the cold lube on your tight, unused hole. At least he had the 'kindness' to get you all wet before trying to bully his thick, long cock into you. "Jay, I can't-"

"Really? You 'can't'?" He actually laughs at you this time as he slides his thick, dripping tip between your cheeks. "Maybe you should've thought of that before going to get some other guy's dick wet."

Mean! Jason Todd who decides to make you forget every other guy you could possibly think of by pulling as many orgasms out of you as possible. You literally have to beg him to stop by the end of it. Your clit feels like its on fire and you can barely move your legs, but, God, that was probably the best sex you'd ever have.

Mean! Jason Todd who, despite how upset he wants to be with you, is absolutely smothering you with aftercare. He's always made sure that you're alright after hooking up, but this time was just a little more... Passionate?

Your thighs burned. Your hips burned. Even the core of your abdomen felt like it was on fire. But when that cool, damp cloth made contact with your sticky, sweat-sheened skin, it felt like heaven.

"Quit moving..." He mutters as he gently wipes away both of your sticky arousal from between your thighs. "I have you. You're alright... Just let me clean you up and we can sleep or get food, alright? Whatever you want, sweetheart."

Mean! Jason Todd who, by the end of the night, realizes that you didn't sleep with anybody else and just feels so much more at peace. It doesn't matter that you two are simply hooking up and non-exclusive. It doesn't matter that this all started because one of your friends cheated on him. What mattered was that your pretty little cunt and ass were all his for as long as possible (totally not that you were safe and he didn't have to worry about being replaced).

Masterlist

[abiiors]

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚠𝚘 — 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒

✧ — 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

✮ a/n: i just know i'm going to fucking love writing these idiots

✮ cw: nothing for this, very very brief mentions of sex but nothing that would warrant a tag, dating apps (ew)

✮ wc: 2.7k

six months after the worst breakup of her life, jules downloads dating apps. 

they’re a whole different beast she never thought she would have to navigate. she’s never had to use them before anyway, she’d met max the good old-fashioned way, ran into him at a cafe. literally. but carly encourages her to get out there and explore a little, and so she does. 

the two of them sit in jules’ bedroom one afternoon, swiping left and right on guys, judging them based on their profiles and laughing till their stomachs hurt. she’s nervous, of course, she is. but jules is secretly grateful for this, she’s grateful that there might be someone else for her out there if she’s every ready for it again. that the world didn’t end with her only relationship ever. 

“ooh, what about him?” carly wiggles her fingers at the latest profile that’s popped up, freshly painted nails glinting in the sunlight. jules considers him. 

nico—he’s cute, studies international politics in uni. he’s got good answers for all the prompts. doesn’t seem shady or weird or like he’s hiding a secret girlfriend. 

“yeah i think he’s cute,” jules nods and swipes right. a second later her phone screen lights up with bright, bold letters: it’s a match. 

“oh!” jules tosses the phone away from her. she doesn’t know what to do next. 

should she just tell him straight away that she’s not looking for anything serious? what if he wants a proper relationship? she can’t give him that… she can’t give anyone that. 

“i can see you overthinking,” carly scolds her lightly and closes up the nail polish bottle. 

“look,” she makes jules turn to look at her and places both hands on her shoulders, “you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. but if you’re going to do it, go on casual dates and fuck around, then i want you to have fun with it.”

“i know…” jules sighs, “it’s just, it’s a little nerve-wracking.”

“oh trust me, it’s very nerve-wracking! how about we have a code, would that make you feel better?”

jules considers it for a second. “what kind of code?”

“um… let’s see,” carly looks around for a second, searching for something, until her eyes land on pancake, a tiny bear jules hasn’t managed to throw out yet. pancake was a gift from max, sure, but she loves that little bear. besides, she’d been the one to pick him out so really, it’s her bear. “how about, if you need to be rescued, you send me a text saying ‘pancake’? and no matter how late it is, i’ll come get you. i’ll cause a scene if i need to.”

jules giggles at the thought, wonders what kind of scene carly might cause just to rescue her from a bad date. the options are endless and amusing.  

“i’d like that, yes.” jules holds carly’s hands in her, careful not to mess up the still drying polish. “thank you…”

“for what?”

“for being a good friend to me. i would have been so much worse off without you.”

carly tuts, about to say something when jules’ phone dings with a notification. a message from nico. a nervous flutter swirls in her stomach. carly forgets what she was going to say and claps her hands excitedly. 

“what’s that say then?”

it’s a sweet message complimenting her profile. carly must have seen her smile because she clicks her tongue and gets off the bed. “right, i’ll leave you to that,” she winks at jules who’s already busy typing a reply. 

once carly leaves, jules starfishes on her bed, phone held up in front of her face while she waits for nico, three dancing dots to turn into a reply. it’s fun, she realises. she hasn’t flirted with anyone in a long time. some part of jules feels guilty when the realisation hits. had it been her fault that she let her relationship with max go? maybe she should have flirted with him more or been better in bed or offered to do new and exciting things—

no. this is not her fault. 

he’d cheated on her, that’s on him. 

and so jules flirts with nico. it’s a little cheesy at times but what’s important is she enjoys it, and clearly nico enjoys it too, he asks to meet her that evening if she’s free. jules buries her face in the pillow for a second. is she really going to do this? go out to have casual sex?

she guesses she is. 

and so with nervous butterflies fluttering in her stomach, jules texts him back and says yes to the date.

jules takes a deep breath and puffs up her cheeks before entering the pub. firebug is close to where she lives, she’s seen the outside many times while on her way home from work. but it’s her first time inside, and she tries not to fidget with her bracelets.

it’s a cosy little place at least—not overcrowded but not completely empty either. and it’s a friday evening after all, she hadn’t expected to find empty pubs anyway. 

jules shoots nico a quick text to tell him she’s here. she’s grateful she’s a good fifteen minutes early. that way jules gets to order herself a drink and sit in silence and mentally prepare for this date. and so she makes her way to the bar and orders herself a cosmo. 

the first sip calms her a little. jules checks her phone for the time—ten more minutes, she’ll be alright by then. but then ten minutes go by and she’s almost done with her drink, and there is no sign of nico—not on text, and certainly not in the pub. jules checks her phone for any texts she might have missed. 

maybe he’s running a little late? she can excuse a few minutes. she doesn’t want to text him and bother him in case he’s driving. so she just scrolls on her phone, watching the minutes tick by. 

five more minutes, then ten, then twenty. 

he’s thirty minutes late by the time jules decides to give up and accept her fate. she already feels like shit about being stood up, she doesn’t need to sit here and get drunk alone and humiliate herself further. what was she even thinking saying yes to this? what was she thinking downloading dating apps in the first place?!

jules gulps the rest of her second drink (another cosmo) in one go and almost slams the glass on the counter, ready to gather her belongings and just leave… 

“jules?” she whirls at the sound of her name, hoping still that it’s nico. it’s not. 

“matty?” she stands, surprised to see him after so many months after that first time at his show. “hi!” 

she doesn’t know how to react quite honestly. on the one hand, jules remembers the last time she’d seen him, remembers how hot he’d looked and how, despite still being sad over max she’d flirted with matty. on the other hand she also remembers the running away. 

she’d told him she’d stay for after the show. and then she had not. 

“you remember me,” he smiles, crooked and a little teasing. “i would have thought you purged us from memory.”

jules winces, so he remembers that too then…

“i’m…sorry about that, i was… not having a great day. nothing to do with you, i promise! your show was fucking great, better than anything i’ve seen before—”

“jules,” he laughs, “i was joking.” then he points at the stool in front of her, asking for permission to sit. jules nods eagerly. 

“and better than anything, huh? i thought that particular compliment would be reserved for your boyfriend?”

jules knows it’s supposed to be a lighthearted comment, still, she can’t help the way her face twists into a grimace. matty frowns. 

“i thought you were… nevermind, sorry”

“no, say it. you thought what?” she knows what he’s going to say, and yet some masochistic part of her wants to hear him say it.

“i thought you were with that guy, max?” matty responds cautiously, like he knows he might be broaching a touchy subject. “i’ve seen you with him a couple times is all…”

“i was,” jules laughs bitterly, circling the rim of her empty glass with her finger. “it went up in flames. and now here i am, stood up by my tinder date.”

she expects him to laugh, but matty’s gaze dips down to her hands too, to the empty glass she’s toying with. then he motions for the bartender and asks for two more drinks.

“just coke for me,” jules interjects, “i’m done drinking.”

matty nods. “two cokes then.”

she observes him while they wait for their drinks. he looks so much different now than he did six months ago. he has a mohawk! although it’s already growing out. and even though jules misses the long curls, the grown out mohawk somehow suits him better. seriously, is there anything he can’t pull off?

if matty can see her ogling at him so blatantly, he doesn’t say it. perhaps she should have stopped after that first cosmo, she’s never been great with alcohol. 

when they both have their cokes in hand, matty turns to look at her again. “did he cheat on you?”

“you got there fast.”

matty sucks in air through his teeth, looking a little awkward. “not really a stretch if i’m being honest. he’s friends with ethan davies…”

she groans when he mentions ethan. she’d gone months without remembering that asshole’s existence, blissful six months where she did not have to be around him for even a single second. matty looks a little apologetic too. 

this should be a fun, flirty, light conversation and here she is, chatting about her ex with a cute (and hopefully single) boy. 

“wish i wasn’t stupid enough to ignore that,” jules jokes lamely.

matty clicks his tongue. “you’re not stupid!” his voice holds so much conviction that for a moment she only stares at him, at the serious expression on his face that just looks so out of place. matty shakes his head and smiles a little. “besides,” he continues, voice much lighter than before, “you’re definitely not stupid enough to download dating apps, really jules? tinder?”

she takes a sip of her coke and glares at him. “it’s not for relationships, matty! i don’t want those ever again.” that last part is more muttered to herself. besides, it’s a little insulting that he would thing she would search for love on the internet. she’s not that desperate. she will never be that desperate.

matty places his chin on his palm, suddenly much more interested than before. “then what is it for?”

“i don’t know, something casual,” jules mumbles, “something that doesn’t come with strings.” 

why is she so embarrassed about this? why did she mumble it like it’s a dirty little secret? she’s a grown woman for fuck’s sake she can go out and have an orgy if she wants to. jules straightens defiantly and matty raises an eyebrow. the interest on his face is clear, so is his curiosity. she can practically see the gears turning in his head, spitting out ideas. does she want to know what he’s thinking?

“i could give you that”

she chokes on her coke. “…what?”

“i said i could give you that,” matty doesn’t shy away from repeating it. if anything, he sounds even more confident than the first time. “if it’s just sex you want.”

“just sex…” she repeats dumbly as if there’s more than one interpretation of his words.

“nothing more, nothing less.” matty’s voice is firm, his face completely serious. at least she thinks it’s serious… 

what if she has read the situation completely wrong? what if he’s just playing a practical joke? maybe a second would go by and he would burst out laughing at the look on her face. she stalls a little, matty doesn’t move a muscle. 

“i can’t tell if you’re joking or not…” she whispers, shakily taking another sip of the coke. whatever buzz she’d got going on with the cosmos has faded entirely. 

“no i’m serious,” he hooks a foot under her barstool, sliding her closer until their knees are touching. she does find that a little hot if she’s being honest… 

“you’re a gorgeous girl,” he continues, giving her a once over that makes her flush a little, “and not to brag, but i’m a good looking guy who doesn’t want anything serious right now. it’s perfect.”

the more he speaks the more his eyes light up with the idea, like it’s a stroke of genius. and maybe it is, jules thinks. she has no other commitments happening, her love life is in the bin, her heart guarded behind a giant brick wall. jules takes a second to think about it, to really think about it. 

“alright yeah.”

this time, it’s matty’s turn to look taken aback. “seriously?” 

“yes, just sex is exactly what i need.” the more she speaks, the more she feels confidence flooding in her. this is perfect, it really is. “i can’t imagine ever falling in love with you, i’ve sworn off guys like you forever.”

“oi, rude!” matty glares at her, but it changes into a smile quickly. “seriously though, you don’t have to worry about me falling in love with you either. music takes over so much of my life, i don’t have time for any of that.”

jules considers his words. is she really going to do this? is she really cut out for this? “alright then,” she nods, a slight tremor to her hands, “we should have some ground rules.” matty’s lips part and jules suddenly feels a little nervous. she scrambles, “wait, is that too fast? are we moving fast? should we slow down?”

matty laughs. “this isn’t a relationship, jules, we have no expectations of sticking to a speed.���

“okay, yes, you’re right.” she takes a sip of her coke to calm her thudding heart. this is happening. this is really happening. she’s negotiating the rules of a no-strings-attached situationship!

“so ground rules,” matty tips his head towards her, “you go first.”

“okay… um,” she takes a moment to think, tracing shapes in the condensation left behind by her glass, “no kissing on the mouth outside of sex.”

he nods. “done. nothing romantic—no dates or going out for dinner, no candles and baths, no breakfasts in bed”

“makes sense. no pet names.” she’s shocked how quickly it comes to her. then again, the thought of being called baby or babe one more time, especially in bed, makes her feel sick to her stomach.

“alright. if one of us meets someone, we end this immediately.”

involuntarily, she laughs. it’s a cold, sardonic sound that surprises her a little too. is she just bitter and jaded now? “unlikely for me, but yes, accepted.” 

if matty finds that statement odd, he doesn’t point it out.

“should we be writing this down?”

“do you plan on having twenty different ground rules?”

jules wrinkles her nose at him. “no, i’m done. that covers all of it.”

“then we can remember four things easily.”

that, she supposes, is true. it’s a pretty short list. she doesn’t see herself breaking any of those rules—now or ever. “right then…when do we start?”

a slow smirk takes over matty’s face. he looks especially lovely then, she thinks. no, not lovely… he looks hot. he looks fuckable with his lips all pink and wet, with his hair the perfect grabbable, tuggable length. “tonight if that’s okay with you?”

a thrill shoots through her. jules looks down at herself. she’s in a pretty dress, she knows she’s shaved every inch of her body in anticipation of this and worn her prettiest lingerie. then she looks back at matty who seems to be looking at her with an equal amount of interest. his eyes scan her body, from head to toe and then back up in a way that makes her feel…desired. and their drinks are over too. 

jules stands, slings her purse over her shoulder. “let’s go,” she extends her hand to him. “your place or mine?”

[buckybarnesss]

I'm thinking about how Eli is apparently living with Scott and an Argent. How Deaton moved to LA as well and Deaton never treated Derek that well.

It doesn't make sense that Scott would get custody over any of the living Hales or even Noah. How Derek supposedly never had any arrangements made up just in case. Especially since Derek lost his family when he was Eli's age.

there's no way in hell scott and allison have legal guardianship over eli. it's a laughable idea and it is the height of insult to even suggest that an argent should be involved with raising derek's son. derek and allison barely tolerated each other not to mention all the other history.

it begs the question why would he want to go with them anyway? if we're following what the movie was putting down than he doesn't know them. there is also no reason that eli should've been pushed to leave his home. his ancestral home at that. the place where so many hales had been born and died.

it also removes him from a stable environment with a support system after suffering a huge loss. the sheriff, malia and peter seem to have been around. noah stilinski was definitely heavily involved in eli's life plus he's the sheriff of the goddamned town. he'd be perfect for temporary guardianship at minimum.

malia and peter are directly related to him and are also shifters.

again, why the hell would eli go live with two people who aren't even remotely connected to him and he barely knows. he last met scott when he was three years old and allison has been dead his entire existence. these people are strangers.

it just gives you the idea that jeff wanted a "happy ending" for allison and scott while not addressing all the questions it brings up. like is scott even remotely prepared to take on a sixteen year old whose just gone through a very traumatic experience? what exactly is allison's mental status right now? she just came back from the dead. they want to handwave it away just like they did with malia's situation. homegirl was 17 when she died. wouldn't she want to like idk catch up on the world? spend time with her dad? her best friend lydia who really, deeply grieved her? figure things out before jumping into a relationship with her high school boyfriend who is now in his 30s? it's weird.

speaking of allison.

allison has been legally deceased for over a decade by the time of the movie.

even if they were to some how "lose" the investigation files surrounding her death and the autopsy report than they used isaac to do an off the books burial i'd imagine there's still a death certificate filed with the state. the social security administration would've been notified as well. there was also fbi presence in town on an active investigation at the time of her death and everyone in beacon hills knew she died.

this does bring up the matter of peter's legal status. is he considered legally dead too? i don't think so actually as everything was really shady about that situation and his nurse was in on the whole thing. i don't think he was declared missing let alone dead.

and also like the most obvious answer to all of this is cora hale. where the fuck is cora hale? she's derek's sister and eli's aunt. she would've stepped in. aggressively. the only answer is that jeff has her locked in the subplot basement.

you also can't convince me that derek hale wouldn't have his affairs in order.

not only did derek have the experience of going through the untimely death of his family at a young age but he also had to do it again with laura.

there's no way he didn't have a will and it'd likely have to go through the probate process so his estate could be executed. derek hale had assets.

the hales were loaded. they were rich. season 4 drove that point home. derek owned the building the loft was in. he also had a business at the time of his death too.

derek would've ensured eli's inheritance and stability in case something happened to him and none of it would've included scott mccall or an argent.

scott was never derek's alpha. derek was not part of the mccall pack.

this isn't to say scott couldn't mentor eli. that'd be fine. it'd bring things full circle in a way but it's dumb as hell for scott to take eli to LA and i do genuinely think it's out of character for scott. especially an adult scott but i've written about that somewhere on my blog i think.

jeff davis can meet me in hell is all i'm saying.

[iamumbra195]

Detective Conan/DCMK characters in a Classroom of the Elite setting would be so interesting to watch/read.

I've only just finished the CoTE anime (Seasons 1-3) so i haven't read the manga or the light novel but the Advanced Nurturing Highschool or AHNS for short is so, so shady. If it and the White Room existed in the DCMK universe, I have no doubt in my mind that they would have some connection to the Black Organization.

So just imagine an AU where Shinichi caught Vodka doing an arms deal in middle school but didn't get caught by Gin like in canon. Imagine him trying to investigate them but coming up with nothing until he, Ran, and Sonoko are on a train ride for the first day at AHNS where he runs into Gin and Vodka, just like he did in canon episode 5.

He learns their codenames there and saves the people on the train from being bombed to hell. Unfortunately, this ends up making him, Ran and Sonoko late for their very first day. They're thankfully excused because the incident was out of their hands before being placed into their respective classes.

You can have adult characters like Jodie and Amuro be teachers and business owners while also acting as undercover agents.

Important student characters at the school:

Hattori Heiji (he can be in the same class as Shinichi where they are both antagonistic at first but later become allies and friends)

Toyama Kazuha (they were made for each, I will never seperate them)

Kuroba Kaito (who also happens to be Kaitou KID and regularly sneaks off school campus for heists. Jii Konosuke cases places for him and he contacts the man using a secret phone he smuggled in. He tends to downplay his academic and physical skill to be somewhat average so he's in Class C or B)

Nakamori Aoko

Akako Koizumi (no magic in this AU but she's interested in spirituality and shit like tarot cards and all)

Hakuba Saguru (suspects of Kaito of being KId and regularaly requests time off from school to go to the heists)

Eisuke Hondou (but only for a little while near the end of 1st year as a rival for Shinichi and love interest for Ran before going back to America to pursue the future he wanted)

Sera Masumi (would be introduced in 2nd Year when Shinichi starts investigating Bourbon as a potential subject because she somehow found out he has connection to the maker of the pill that shrunk her mother)

Important characters outside of school

Agasa Hiroshi (supplies Shinichi with spy tech)

Haibara Ai AKA Miyano Shiho (shrunken and lives with Agasa just like in canon, specifically sought Agasa out because he was a connection to Shinichi, who was involved in her sister's case and was a detective at that. They contact each other through secret phone. She also happens to be one of the failed subjects of the white room)

Miyano Akemi (During school break, Shinichi went back to Beika where he was then approached by Masami Hiroto and the rest goes like canon with her dying in his arms)

Akai Shuichi (still don't know what I'm gonna do with him but he's important)

Rena Mizunashi AKA Hidemi Hondou

Side Characters in school

Nakamichi (Shinichi's soccer friend)

Eisuke Aizawa (Shinichi's soccer friend)

Kazumi Tsukamoto (a third year in Ran's karate club)

Tashiro (Ran's friend)

Hidaka (Ran's friend)

Anyways, I imagine Shinichi being in a different class from Ran and Sonoko and just thinking about ShinRan competeing but also saving each other's asses from time to time is beautiful.

Having Kaito and Shinichi's respective Black Organization be one and the same would make it more interesting as well.

Anyways, I think these characters are fun to play around with in this setting, mixing the dramatic school life in CoTE with the looming threat of the Black Organization as Shinichi delves deeper and deeper into the case.

Idk how this would be resolved but it would be so, so fun to read if written well. Shinichi's gonna be so paranoid by the end of this lol.

[rzyraffek]

Fallout4 characters with teen!sole

Bestie you are litteraly describing one of my oc's! Of course its purley platonic😊 teen!sole is also from valut and was in fidge for last 200years. I refer to them as 'kid' bcs thats how some of characters would probably treat them anyways. Also its a screenshot vuz I accidentally deleted the ask and luckily had some sort of proof

Maccready

The only guy here with any expirence with kids

Dad vibe

Type of guy who says "We need to cut it off" after Sole tells him their hand hurts

Will teach them how to shoot, hunt ect

Also scold them every time they talk with any shady people??? Like he really doesnt want them to end up like him with whole 'gunners incident'

He thinks that Sole would get along with Duncan well!

If Sole calls him 'dad' mans gotta be so happy

Deacon

Secretly worried about their saftey, like Commonwealth is dangerous place for trained adults, and for kids ESPECIALLY ones who have no knowlage about defence or weapons

But he never shows his worries, just hangs around being cool dude he is😎😎

Rich cousin/uncle vibe

You like this cool hat you saw like week ago? Boom see it apear inside your closed 2days later

His love language (quick remidner that love also can be platonic🙄😎) is giving them little gifts when they don't see him or leaving notes with remiders on them ^^

Quick reminder that he and his wife wanted to have kids! So yeah Sole makes him wonder if thats how it feels to have kids tbh

If Sole calls him 'dad' bro will freeze and panic, probably pretending that he thought that was a joke but he's sweating so hard rn

Hancock

Wtf a child? Here?

Bestie you really shouldn't be here

If Sole is in this cringy teen phase when they do drugs/cigarettes, watch him say stuff like "drugs=bad" meanwhile taking some mentats

Your friendly local drug dealer vibe

Dude gonna teach them how to manipulate assholes, trow knifes, gaslight and still look stylish

If Sole ever tells him about their parents he will be angry, like ??? Why would anyone do anything to a kid???

He will litteraly pay fahrenheit to watch them when he's busy

Preson

"Fire, pretty sky and a lot of storytelling in middle of nowhere" vibe

Im 100% sure he knows how to play on guitar and will try to teach them

He will try to act mature and lead them to the right path but he won't try to be their "new perent" unless Sole is clear that they see him as father figure, he will never even bring this up.

When they call him 'dad' mans will be the happiest minuteman in history. Also if kid will even mention their past caretakers he will just tell them to forget about them cuz they aren't coming back and they are never going to hurt Sole anymore

Gage

How on earth some kid killed Colter? No one knows but Gage is impressed.

He gets annoyed by lack of knowlage and skills, ye ye he gets that they are like 13 or something but come on hes not going to do anything for them. Huh what do you mean you are from valut? Before the war?? Damn kid and im happy to be alive. Stop lying

*sighs* "jesus boss let me do it"

Older brother vibes.

"How many times i have to tell you, dont hang out with pack members they have bad influence on you AND do not even think about going near Nisha"

He needs to learn ALOT he dumped his family and even if he had younger siblings he never really took care of anyone, never, so yeah it is challenging

If Sole somehow calls him 'dad' they were probably incredibly tired or something very emotional happened. No matter how it happend Gage will ignore it and later overthink when Sole wont be around, like ??? Me??? Gee what kind of parental figure this kid had?? Should I check on them more often??

Danse

Uhh erm a child ee greeting?

Akward

At first he sees Sole as lil civilan and just tells them where to find nearest safe place/diamond city cuz hes very very busy and cant take care of child while on duty. If kid hangs around more he will probably warm up

Of course he will ask about their parents but when Sole tells him some upsetting stuff he won't ask again, he won't tell them to go home either. He will just idk let them vibe

I can imagine Sole just tagging along his missions by just begging him to hang out with them constantly. They quickly get along. Very lonley soldier and kid who lost everyone.

One of those 'depressed dude adopts random child he found in middle of knowhere' prompt

When Sole calls him 'dad' he gonna get emotional fr fr pls civilan he's on duty he cant cry rn 😭

Yall I loved writting for gage i might do part 2 with Gage just trying to figure out how kids work. Also another pole cuz I still have no clue how to delete those on phone. And as always, I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience 🦊

[hel-phoenyx]

Domhildr belongs to @soupedepates, Meili to @azeler and Oli to @thal-ent

Modern AU shenanigans

I do not look fondly upon my high school years.

It's not a period of my life I like to remember. and no, it's not like I had problems or anything. Never been bullied, never been dragged into shady business per se, at least not the delinquent kind. I had friends, even if those friends were in two different groups for. Several reasons. I had no difficulties whatsoever in class, even ranked top most of the time.

But god was I insufferable. Sometimes I wonder how Domhildr and Oli could put up with my self-inflated ego. The others certainly did a lot to encourage it.

I think the only thing that kept my head not too far from the ground was the fact I had to fight for the top rank. I still remember the classes, the tests, everything. When we didn't take the same options, it was good, I had miles between me and the second-ranked ; when he was there, I had to work for my shit.

It's weird to think he became my friend. That he was our friend.

No, not in this way. Weird in a good way. Like, in class we would have heated debates on slightly different answers, especially in philosphy and geopolitics. He was a die-hard right-winger, while I started to understand, because of them, that maybe free market was a bad thing. Both of us were still influenced by traditional upbringings. Loaded families.

Yet outside of class we would just talk about our days, families and other things. I would complain about the date of last maths test while he joked about such feeble things not stopping him. and then Oli and Domi would just yell at us to "stop flaunting the top-rank bullshit on us". Even though Oli were themselves good enough in class.

I had kind of a rivalry going on at the tme, and it got my head out of the gutter. Didn't help that we kinda crushed on the same guy. Not realising it, both of us were idiots (and probably raised in same kind of gay-no-way families) but it has to have played a role in the peculiar nature of our relationship.

And then he left school for the army. And I went into politics. And we lost contact.

I do not look fondly on my high school years. But I have to admit, recieving a message from him in the middle of my thesis kinda made me happy.

That's probably why I called upon the two others. To discuss. The message, and what happened afterwards.

Oli and Domhildr are bot sitting at the table at our café. We would reunite here, to talk about crushes and classes and art and jobs. And more often than not, politics. Domdom stopped wanting to punch me when I started talking about last time I kicked a Neo-Nazi in the balls. Good times.

But today we are not here to diss neo-nazis. We're here to talk about Meili.

"So, starts Oli. You say he sent you a message ? You ?"

"I mean, I'm probably the only one with the same phone number."

"Bullshit. I haven't changed mine since I got it. And I'm pretty sure Domi only switched once."

Domhildr nods, a big smile on her face.

"I knew there was something between you two. I mean, the whole academic rivalry was pretty homoerotic."

"Oh com'on, I have plenty other people I'm homoerotic with, you don't need to add Meili to the roster."

Their faces are unconvinced. Great. It's Kriss's teasing yet again.

Can't say I'm not used to it, tho. I have so many crushes. Had, too. I fall in love too easily with my friends. Luckily I don't have many.

My prosthesis hurt, as some sort of reminder. Yes, sometimes I am attracted to the wrong people. And the fact we made up kinda is worrying for my mental health, but to be honest I needed that introspection.

"Anyway. Yeah, he sent me a text, said he wanted to meet up. Apparently, army didn't work out. Didn't understand how before I saw him."

"Wait. You SAW him and you didn't warn us ?!"

"I knew I would never hear the end of this, so, no. Plus, he wanted to see me alone."

Domhildr laughs a little teasingly.

"Ooooh, someone got a date~"

"Or he just didn't wanted to show everyone from the get go the leg prosthesis and the amount of burns in his body, hell, he couldn't even open his right eye."

And I guess he contacted me because I lost my hand in high school, so he knew about it. And knew I wouldn't get too judgemental or pityful. Disabled power.

That shut up the two birds quite promptly. Domhildr even has the audacity to look shocked.

".... Well, shit, when you said army didn't work out, I didn't think THAT way."

"And yet. He's a war veteran now, and a high-ranked one. He just started a cursus in international politics, you know, the one I ditched for history. I did tell him about that, and he joked about getting something I wouldn't have."

Joke did fall flat, tho. Not like I've taken it personally, I mean, i am a PhD student, right now. More like he didn't put a lot of heart in it. I don't know what he saw on the front, but hell must it have traumatized him.

"War veteran, huh, said Oli, pensive. I take it he's still a right-winger."

"Yep. Couldn't believe his ears when I told him I voted far-left. Didn't want to start drama around politics, tho, so we kept it at that. He got pretty tame on human rights issues, by the way."

"Cool, so I won't have to punch him when I see him. Do we have a date, by the way ?"

I shrug.

"I'll ask him later. That could be good, indeed."

[sillydeafwitch]

So for my SDMI au…before I begin I’d love some suggestions on what to call it!!! If you don’t know what I’m talking about this is the post where I explained it up to date so far. @fallenflowersfromgrace helped me flesh it out so shoutout to them!!!! Ur epic 😎😎

Anyways, au. I may have already said some of this stuff so sorry :]

So this may be split into a few posts! This post will focus on the current mystery gang and their new personalities.

The og Mystery Gang (im calling them og gang) are the protagonists of this au. The current gang, the one we all know and love, are somewhat antagonistic, at least later into the au.

Pericles betrayed (not?)mayor jones and got him sent to a maximum security prison, instead of the other way around. This in turn lets Brad and Judy stay in Crystal Cove, so they end up raising Fred and stop looking for the planispheric disc.

Brad and Judy go by Ben Sternum and Julie Sternum, though when nobody else is around they call each other their actual names.

Shaggy is much less of a slacker and more of an overworked student. Pericles made sure of that. Though he focuses less on the academic side of things and more on just getting work done. He is definitely very anxious because of high standards set by Pericles and his parents. He’s more irritable because of stress and can come off as a mean person sometimes. (Even though he’s pretty a pretty good dude) He eats a lot, like his canon version, but this time it’s out of stress. His parents are nicer to him but they are more strict and similar to how Jones treated Fred in way.

Velma is more introverted and doesn’t talk as much. She’s pretty bitter towards Pericles since he overshadows her a lot in their treasure hunt searches. She is somewhat competitive with her peers in school or stuff that would be considered “academic.” She still hangs out with the gang but to outsiders she can go unnoticed. Of course the gang always does her best to include her their treasure hunts. She hangs out with Marcie a lot in this au when she isn’t with the gang, and they DO have a lil something goin’ on <3.

Daphne is more rebellious towards her parents and is somewhat of a delinquent. She is more carefree but she doesn’t put up with people she doesn’t like. Velma introduced her to the Hex-girls when they were younger, and they were a big influence for her. Her parents obviously disapprove of rebellious behavior but she mostly refuses to listen to them in this au. She dates multiple guys throughout this au but she has a crush on Fred, though she doesn’t think he reciprocates the interest.

Fred has a similar personality to his canon version but it’s still different. He is slightly corrupted by curse like the rest of gang so he isn’t as kind as usual in this au, of course he isn’t deliberately rude to people. He’s more confident since Brad and Judy weren’t as neglectful as Jones. But they both have busy jobs as doctors so they can be sorta absent sometimes, and Fred is home alone a lot. He gets into trouble a lot ands often ends up in dangerous situations like breaking into abandoned buildings or hanging out in shady places. He has a crush on Daphne but doesn’t think he’ll end up with her considering how many cool guys she’s dated. He still likes nets and stuff, but instead of traps he’s more interested in stuff like archeology and finding treasure.

Anyways, in this au, the first season would have them be sorta antagonists but not necessarily villains, while the second one would have them be (reluctant) villains. This is due to Pericles needing some helpers with his planispheric disc plan— and also out of a sick nostalgia. The reason why they are complying is because he has demonstrated on a certain not Mayor what will happen if they don’t. Hot Dog Water is involved too, but she’ll be in another post.

[macsimagines]

Are you still taking yandere asks? Sorry if not just ignore this if so. I would like to request some short general yandere hc for Angry, Smiley and Inupi. Specifically in the first toman future bad ending, where Kisaki was pulling the strings. (the future ver where smiley and angry have their hair down and not permed). How do you think their different future uhhh criminal occupation affects their yandere tendencies.... :))) 💖💖💖💖

(I like the twins and Inupi! They're so underrated! -Ms.Mac)

Yandere!Angry

Keeps you the hell away from it. Basically a cinderella story where you worked at one of the twins host clubs and he fell in love with you and married you so you wouldn't work there.

But after the marriage? Keeps you the hell out of that life forever now. He doesn't let you near his work and he won't let you talk to any of your old host friends.

The business is shady and he doesn't want you to know how badly the other ladies are being treated. Not that they matter. You were the only important one anyways.

Yandere!Smiley

Complete opposite story. He likes you working at the Club he runs. Makes him feel in control of you.

You're so so pretty and its obvious your his favorite. It makes the other girls hate you and now you're so isolated. Customers are scared to take you on because they know Smiley will kill anyone that gets too comfortable around you.

Aw, but don't cry baby. Smiley will always take good care of you even if no one else gives a shit about. He always will~.

Yandere!Inupi

You have no goddamn clue what he does for a living and he intends to keep it that way.

Don't ask him about where he's been and never try to talk about work. You're too stupid and soft to handle it. You'll never be able to comprehend what your husband does.

Just shutup and be a good house wife. Make him his dinner even if he's not there to eat it and raise up some good kids for him. He loves you. That's all that matters.

[bloomblanche]

＊✿ It's Melly!! ✿＊

I just realized that I haven't talked about her much on my blog. Time to fix that.

(Text cut for aesthetic purposes)

Bear in mind that she kinda evolved from "splatsona" to "OC who shares a lot of things with me (but not everything!) and still represents me sometimes but is mostly her own character now"

❥ Mélusine (full name Mélusine Larchipel) is 20 years old and goes by she/her. Her height is 166 cm, aka 5'5. She's autistic and pansexual.

❥ She's all academics, no street smarts. She's rather shy, overly polite, and has trouble voicing her opinions (as well as socializing in general). Her enthusiasm and eccentricities regularly slip through the cracks of her demure appearance.

❥ Melly moved to Inkadia around 10 years ago (making her multilingual as a result), but she still hasn't gotten used to everything because she would mostly spend her time inside without interacting much with other people. She's only recently started to open up, and she uses ink sports and tableturf as a way to do so.

❥ Her mom is a surface Octoling, but her dad is a Cirraling (which is my fan species of cirrate octopuses). That makes her half-grimpoteuthis! The reason why it matters is that the top design isn't her true appearance. The bottom one is what she looks like all-natural.

(Older drawings for comparison)

❥ Due to the biological differences of cirrate octopuses, her chromatophores and her ink sac are a bit underdeveloped. It takes roughly 15 minutes of light exposure for her chromatophores to be able to change colour and roughly 30 minutes in darkness for her to revert back to her natural colour.

❥ She's a bit insecure about her differences, so that's why she disguises herself as a regular Octoling. In fact, her hairstyle is meant to make her ears look smaller since she would get teased for them as a kid.

❥ This character is pretty much a metaphor for masking, when you think about it

❥ Now! Being part-dumbo has its perks, such as better night vision, but it also has its downsides. Remember when I said that her ink sac was underdeveloped? Because of that, she has to focus almost all of her gear abilities into ink saving.

❥ And that combined with her being unable to play anything other than brushes means that Melly REALLY sucks at Salmon Run. She sucks so much that her teammates kept complaining, and she ended up getting kicked out of Grizz Co. She doesn't mind it too much, though, because she's happy earning money with turf war and sewing. Not to mention that the whole business looks really shady anyway.

❥ Going back to brush weapons! Melly has a weird obsession with them. She owns all of the available ones on the market and will only listen to Sheldon's rambles if they're about brush weapons (if they aren't, she will immediately zone out)

❥ She's named Mélusine after the fairy from the eponymous myth. Mélusine is a spirit of fresh water who was cursed to become a serpent from the waist down every Saturday. So! Not only does it have a water theme, but it reflects her appearance-changing deal. She likes her full name, and her family uses it on a regular basis. The reason why she mostly goes by "Melly" is because it's easier for her friends to pronounce.

❥ Her favourite band is Chirpy Chips, and her favourite song from them is Shellfie. She's also a big fan of Raian (guess where that came from) and has a celebrity crush on them.

❥ Her favourite show and videogame are called "Magical Mumi Uni-chan" and "Coral Village 2" respectively.

❥ She loves blueberry pies and hates walnuts for their dry aftertaste (macadamia nuts are more up her alley)

❥ She developed emetophobia as a kid after a severe bout of salmonella.

❥ She really likes flowers as well as lolita fashion and does sewing as a hobby.

❥ While not visible in this drawing, she has some webbing between her fingers (which are tainted purple)

❥ Her shoes are punk whites with ruffle socks.

❥ And last but not least: Melly is based on this specific octopus! She's also very interested in the deep sea and likes to search for books about it.

Thank you for your interest!!

Here are some silly gifs

[sandboxer]

been talking through Phoenix and Trucy’s relationship while me and some pals play DD, and while I think it’s clear that they don’t necessarily have the classic father/daughter dynamic that people might be searching for in them, I also think that’s what works best for both of them during that time period, especially Phoenix. he’s certainly more hands-off with Trucy than we might expect, given how over-the-top he can be in his care for other characters (Maya, Edgeworth, Dahlia, etc). but I think that’s part of the reason their relationship is so comfortable, if not healing, for him. by the time Trucy comes along, we’ve seen Phoenix spend 3 full games bending over backward to take care of other people in ways that go far beyond the call of duty. I’d say he’s got some attachment issues for sure. and in the culmination of it all, he inadvertently gives up the entire life he’s built for himself in pursuit of protecting others.

and then Trucy comes along, and she’s… capable? she’s proven that she can handle herself, that she doesn’t need to be hover parented. and while she’s clearly still just a kid, I think Phoenix definitely leans into that (possibly a bit more than he should). after the tumult of the past 3.5 games, Phoenix gets to relax. he gets to love someone without needing to go to hell for them—and he would, for Trucy, but by the time Phoenix meets her, he’s tired enough and she’s experienced enough that he’s ready to accept it: he can love someone without giving his life for them unprompted.

for Trucy’s part, she comes from a complicated and shady family. she’s been overly-trusting and used and ended up causing pain for herself and others because of it. I don’t think it would be too much of a shock if a kid like that just wants to be loved without complications or drama. and Phoenix clearly loves her, but he doesn’t smother her in emotionality. he doesn’t ask much of her, and he largely lets her do her own thing. he gives her freedom. and, sure, Trucy was a small kid when Zak left and shouldn’t have been given that much freedom at that age anyway, but I don’t think that would have stopped when she came of age. freedom is something she would lack her entire life in that family, absorbed entirely into Troupe Gramarye without a choice. Phoenix lets her spread her wings and do her own thing, and magic is something she chooses for herself. he doesn’t force her to be his investigation partner and partake in what could easily become her next family business. Phoenix is safe, and he lets her be loved without expectations. in turn, he gets to love without indebtedness.

[starshifter]

I forgot the notes for 4 when I posted it 😭 So here they are, a little bit late

-

It actually bothers me a little bit that I’m not sure if DH’s “horns” are in fact horns rather than antlers. He doesn’t seem to shed them though, so??? Horns, probably

DH has NO idea what he’s doing here, but he’s doing his best anyways. This nerd has never romanced in his life, and I doubt he’s read much romance either between all his instruction manuals and history books lmao. He’s looking to Blade for cues and that’s…. Well… They’re trying, ok? Give them a gold star for effort or something.

On that same topic (sort of), DH kept his memories of how to fight between bodies, so I imagine the same thing applies to kissing. Once he relaxed, he fell right back into doing what his body already knew. So Blade is getting jealous of himself, basically lmao

Is it meditation? Is it dissociation? Does Blade even know the difference or care? We just don’t know. Get this man into therapy, stat

You might think that Blade would be very reserved about showing affection. However, I am here to tell you that this isn’t true. He would joyfully be that disgusting PDA couple if you gave him half a chance. Dan Heng is the one who doesn’t want to show his emotions that openly. He get embarrassed easily when emotions are involved lol

…okay true confession, I didn’t like Firefly at all when we first met her. I didn’t get what was up with her or why we connected with her so fast when she appeared under shady circumstances. It wasn’t until I saw the rumors that she was Sam that I really sat up and took an interest. It added a fuck ton of dimension to her character and then they threw in NGE references and a tragic backstory and I was a goner. She’s now one of my favorite characters. Go figure. (Hilariously, a friend of mine experienced the exact opposite journey. We have very different taste in characters lmao) I lost the fifty-fifty on her first run, but I will not miss her this time! I won’t! Please come home baby girl. I don’t quite have a guarantee yet but I’m close :sobbing: I’d like to use the extra wishes for her lightcone and Fugue but… Firefly precedence

The giant ice worm is based on deep sea bristle worms cause im honestly a little obsessed with them. I’m kinda thinking of a sandworm tbh (the irl ones that kinda look like extra spiky millipedes, tho the ice worms are the size of the dune ones so…). But you can imagine a normal worm if you want lol

Blade’s still adjusting to being allowed back in Dan Heng’s space. The only thing that’s gotten him there in the past is force and extreme persistence. Give him some time to realize Dan Heng isn’t leaving again and he’ll mellow out. He’ll always be a little possessive, but he’s not the type to distrust his partners or try to control them. Honestly, I expect that he’s really doting and supportive. …Or at least Yingxing was. Blade will have a harder time, though it will still bleed through in less overt ways.

I choose to believe that DH is way more of a nerd than DF. Not because DF didn’t want to be a nerd, but because he was so busy that he didn’t have the time to pursue so much random knowledge. DH is free to do whatever, so he ultra nerds out. This is why Blade is a little blindsided by just how nerdy he is.

I had to have Stelle break the fourth wall at least once. They give me the option to do that in game enough that it’s actually perfectly in character. (at least she does one thing in this fic that I am confident is in character sobs)

I’m over here staring at this battle team I have assembled and laughing at just how terribly it would work in game. They’re all such selfish DPS and two of them sacrifice their own health; they could never be an effective team together. No wonder the fight ended the way it did lmao. Bibi is the glass canon to end all glass canons. He always dies first… Unless Pela eats all the aggro first, but she’s not here. Oh no. Bibi, Bibi, look out, you’re the only damage sponge. Oh god, he’s wearing earpods. He can’t hear us. Oh fuck

Also, what if there was a boss fight where attacking the boss did damage back to you? Kinda like giving the enemies quake damage. Would that be fucked up or what? (no one tell hoyo this idea. I would cry if they did this. I already have sustain issues cause I only have Aventurine for good sustains)

Blade broke his spine because one time I had a nightmare that I hit my head and became completely paralyzed. I was stuck in the living room listening to my roommates move about in the hallway and couldn’t call for help while I knew I was dying and it fucked me up. So I gave Blade the experience :))

I have no fucking clue how the Trailblazers get from the express down to the surface of planets without the Express landing. Dan Heng said they “smashed a hole though Taikiyan Stadium” so I don’t think it involves teleporting or a regular shuttle… So some sort of escape pod that also can return was my solution.

Also, I genuinely believe that Blade has no fucking clue what Welt’s name is, so he’s just repeating what the others are using but without the mr cause he knows he’s older than this guy lol

I debated whether Welt or Himeko should be doing the medical work, but Himeko’s specialty seems to be machines while Welt has his whole Herscherr of Knowledge(?) thing, so I thought he might be the better choice here? i don't know anything about hi3....

The doctor they called was originally gonna be Natasha cause I really like her, but then I remembered Lingsha and realized they would definitely call her first since she would know the most about treating Vidyadhara (also I wasn’t sure if Nat would have holo calls…I know they’ve rejoined the galaxy and all, but their tech still is kinda far behind…)

[miguel-owhora]

Rip, I didn't see your post yesterday about the reaction YouTuber/College AU. Well, I think Micah wouldn't really go to college on his own; he is just there because, like in Canon, it's a tradition for the Bells. (The tradition of being shady criminal lawyers instead of outlaws is simply because I like Better Call Saul. Someone please give me better ideas.) So while Amos is actually doing it and working for his father's company, Micah is just at this college to half-heartedly study law so his father can't complain or something. 

Micah's channel definitely has some stupid rat machcott similar to Schlatt with goats because, why not? I'm half German, aka I grew up with JuliensBlog. Micah definitely has some decade-old video, which is a tutorial to hit women as insane ragebait, together with his early videos being shitting on news papers and news channels. I don't got a lot for you today 🙏

OG Anon

god i love this au so much

Micah studying to become a shady crim. lawyer is so true. He's actually very intelligent but pretends to act dumb, and I feel like his half-hearted effort only exists bc he doesn't really need to study all that much. Coming from a bloodline of shady lawyers means he more or less has a solid idea of procedures and terms and whatnot.

That being said, I don't think he ends up working for his father's company, which I imagine is probably located somewhere in Cali (following along the canon timeline of Amos moving to Cali, i think?) and stays wherever the hell the AU takes place to instead work for Dutch's shady law company; which, since we're on the topic of outlaws = shady crim. lawyers, most gangs are shady law companies. It fits so well, you're so right.

People still don't like Micah because he's still so crude and perverse, and just the biggest troll to walk the world. Dutch only hires him bc of his connections to Micah Bell Jr. (Micah's dad, idk how names work tbh 😭) and realizes he'd be good for their business + he's also Arthur's bf.

On another note, Micah doesn't really care for anyone else other than Arthur, and maybe, Amos, but just barely. He thinks Amos is a suck up for following in their dad's footsteps and for trying to earn his approval, so he looks down on him for that, but has very low contact with Amos bc at the end of the day, they're still brothers. But he truly does care about Arthur, and does love him. Like genuinely, wholeheartedly, does value Arthur.

Anyways, in the beginning Micah didn't really post, and if he did, it was shitposts and obscure, and insane ragebait as you put it. As he grew in popularity, this didn't change — well, if only to follow the YouTube guidelines. Just barely tho. Anyways, as he grew in popularity, so did his haters. They doxxed him and swatted him, sent him death threats, and Micah would just double down.

I imagine they'd try to get him kicked out of college or get him fire, but either they forget or don't know that 1. he has money, and not just from youtube, but from his lineage of being successful lawyers, even if that money is less than earned. and 2. Dutch won't fire him. Not because he's Arthur's sweetheart and he doesn't want his son to be angry at him, but also bc for all the wildcard that Micah is, he's actually good at his job. Like genuinely, bc c'mon now, we all can agree that Micah is a good ass criminal. He's a literal career criminal.

Anyways, I'm in love with this AU, i could talk about it for years

[theoddcatlady]

Unnatural Combinations

I think most people are surprised when they learn one of my hobbies is taxidermy.

I know what you probably expect when you hear that- some shady looking Ed Gein kinda guy. I’m gonna clear this up off the bat. Not everyone that practices taxidermy looks like a serial killer, all empty eyes and unsettling grins. I’d like to say I’m pretty normal, as far as your average human being goes. I’m close to my parents, I have a good job, I even have a dog named Hamlet. But I also really do enjoy taxidermy.

I picked up the hobby almost… god, has to be like ten to twelve years now. At the time, I thought the same as probably most of you, that taxidermy was for people like Norman Bates or Leatherface. That changed during a highschool project where I had to shadow someone at their workplace. Since I was sick the day all the popular choices were taken, I got stuck working at McConnell Taxidermy with the stern looking Walter McConnell. Although I originally expected to be either bored or grossed out, it was actually a lot of fun. For the most part Walter and I just kicked back and watched TV and enjoyed his husband Bernard’s home cooking.

For the actual taxidermy though, I actually found it fascinating. It’s not all blood and guts, some of it is real artistry. I had a lot of fun learning about it, seeing what incredible focus Walter had while sewing together a squirrel, and I was surprised to learn which of the fish on the wall were real and which were incredibly accurate recreations. Walter loved animals, he had at least three rescued dogs and I lost count of the amount of cats that weaved between my ankles as we drunk root beers and sat on his front porch.

Anyway, after that week shadowing him, I ended up going back again and again. I admitted I didn’t really have the patience for hunting, which is where most of Walter’s business comes from, but he let me know that if I found a mostly whole, fresh piece of roadkill, he could see what we could do. After a month of searching, I came across a raccoon that was just what Walter said would work. With him teaching me, I mounted my first animal. I still have it, even though I can point out like a half a dozen flaws.

All I’m trying to say it that no, I’m not the next freak that’ll make headlines for skinning the neighbor’s cat… and the neighbor with it. I can, however, say that some of those said freaks do have that wrong idea about us. And one of them was Clarence Warner.

I first met Clarence when he quite literally ran into me I’d gotten some new taxidermy books and I planned on kicking back at the shop while I read them. I was reaching for the door when it suddenly burst open, smacking the books out of my hand and sending them crashing to the ground.

“Oh! Oh, oh no, I’m s-so sorry!”

The man hurriedly exiting the shop was a scrawny looking fellow, below average in height with extra large glasses that magnified his watery eyes with the bags underneath so dark it looked like he hadn’t slept in a month. The rumpled state of his sweater and slacks didn’t help the impression.

Before I could even tell him it was fine the man was on the ground, carefully smoothing the cover of each of my books, even the hardcover ones. “N-none look to be damaged!” With a nervous smile, like he expected me to suddenly clock him in the face, he carefully handed the books back to me. “I’m so s-sorry, do they look okay? Nothing r-ripped or damaged, I hope?”

I gave the books a once over. “You’re fine, they can take a fall. You in a hurry?”

“Yeah, uh, yup,” The man nervously bobbed his head up and down, “The shop owner, he uh…” he chuckled nervously, “he’s a bit frightening. I decided to m-make myself scarce. I’m Clarence. Clarence Warner.” He stuck out a hand that had nails bitten down so far his fingertips were all red and sore. I sort of just looked at my books before Clarence slowly lowered his hand, his ears turning pink along with his cheeks. “Right. It’s a b-bit hard to shake hands when they’re full.”

“Yeah…” I glanced in the shop, “Everything’s cool man, have a good day.” I side stepped around the clearly socially awkward Clarence and managed to get the door open with my foot, eager to end this bizarre confrontation.

“Wait!”

Clarence’s piercing yelp nearly caused me to drop my books again. I turned my head back around and Clarence looked rightfully embarrassed.

“What’s your name?” He asked while staring at his feet, sounding like more like a shy first grader than a grown man.

“… Everyone calls me Bobby,” I bowed my head, “Have a good day, man.”

“Good day for you too!”

Clarence skittered off down the street, beelining for the nearest bus stop. I just shook my head, got the door the rest of the way open, and made my way into the shop. The classic rock station was playing, the room smelled of sandalwood incense thanks to Bernard, and other than me and Walter the place was empty. It seemed normal, but Walter’s usually unbothered, apathetic expression was replaced with an unnatural hostility that I’d rarely seen from him before.

“You okay, Walter?” I asked, setting my books on the counter before taking a seat on the bench.

Walter was quiet for a moment, watching the door like a hawk. “You spoke with the man leaving the shop?” He asked, his gruff voice quieter than usual.

“Just for a second, he accidentally knocked the books out of my hands,” I nodded to them, “Seemed a bit weird but that was it. What did he do?”

Walter’s mouth pressed into a firm line as he glowered in the direction Clarence had walked off in. “Asked questions I don’t like answering. Keep your distance. Want tea or beer?” Before I responded the man had ambled off to the back, coming back with two beers and setting one in front of me. I accepted, because I’m not the kind of person to turn down free beer, and I didn’t press the matter further. I figured I wouldn’t see Clarence any time soon anyway.

I actually ran into him again that night, while Hamlet and I were on a run. We were on the loop back home when I heard someone shouting my name. I skidded to a stop and pulled one of my headphones out, craning my neck around and seeing a shorter guy dashing on up to me.

When he was close enough, I finally realized that this was Clarence, and he was not looking so good. When he skidded to a stop his knees buckled, the poor guy nearly falling to the ground as he gasped for air. Not exactly a man in the best of shape.

I waited until he’d started to catch his breath before speaking. “Yeah? You want something?”

Clarence swallowed and stood back up straight, wiping the sweat off his pallid forehead. “So so sorry… to b-bother you,” he wheezed and for a second I thought he might pass out, “But you live around here too?”

At first I was tempted not to give him any information about where I lived. I mean, he weirded out Walter, and it’s hard getting under that guy’s skin. But I lowered my guard as I saw him struggling to get his breathing under control. “On this street, yeah. You going to be okay?”

Clarence bobbed his head up and down. “I have… Mild asthma. You’re… really fast,” He swallowed again and finally seemed to get his breathing under control. “I was just thinking about this being a s-strange coincidence, but we’re actually neighbors!” He pointed to the house on the corner. I did remember that the for sale sign had vanished, but I figured whoever bought it was going to plow it over, that place was not in the greatest of shape. “I was sitting on my front porch and saw you run by, I had to be s-sure it was you, Bobby.”

“Yeah,” I tightened my grip on Hamlet’s leash. I did not want my German mix accidentally knocking him over. “Why though?”

Clarence smiled. “Well, you were very nice to me today! I figured you’d be a good person to get to know if you lived around here.”

“What’d you say to Walter earlier?” I asked. “He seemed pretty upset when I entered the shop.”

“Walter- oh! The scary, elderly gentleman that runs the taxidermy place, right,” Clarence looked a bit sheepish, “I’m afraid I’m a bit poor at phrasing my questions. All I wanted to know was more of the process of taxidermy. It’s a s-science I’d like to know more about. That’s all.”

That actually relieved me. I’d been afraid that Walter was on the receiving end of some homophobic bullshit, but that didn’t seem to be the case. I lowered my guard and stopped gripping the leash so tight. “Yeah, no offense, you don’t seem to be the most… eloquent,” I said, deciding that maybe being subtle with this guy wasn’t going to work.

Thankfully Clarence didn’t take offense. “Everyone says that, I’m not really good with people,” He chuckled, jamming his hands into his pockets, “But I hope I can get along well enough in this place. Is everyone nice around here?”

We chatted for a few minutes. I learned he’d been recently divorced from his wife and lost his job, so this was going to be a fresh start. Any of my earlier apprehension quickly dissolved, this was just a lonely guy who just wanted to make a friend. Hamlet didn’t seem to mind him either, although he strangely enough didn’t jump up and try to lick his face- Hamlet thinks face kisses are the best to give to strangers.

When we parted, Clarence looked to be on cloud nine. “Thank you for n-not being upset with me,” He bowed his head in my direction, “I hope we see each other again soon!” With that, my bizarre new neighbor trotted down the street.

I glanced down at Hamlet. “Guess we should be nice to him,” I decided, giving my dog a pat on the head. Hamlet wuffed quietly before he started pulling on his leash to head back to the house. I didn’t double check to see if Clarence saw me head into my home, but I guess he had to have- the next morning there was a package of home made cookies on my doorstep, along with a note with yet another apology about the books.

Damn good cookies, even if they were oatmeal raisin.

Hindsight being 20/20, I really did drop my guard around Clarence too quickly. But it was hard to be freaked out by a guy who got winded running half a block and apologized for breathing the same air as you. I dunno, I just didn’t think he was very threatening. Even when things started to get strange. And by strange, I mean actually fucking horrifying.

We have a lot of pets in our neighborhood, and warning, this is gonna get gruesome, so turn away if you’re sensitive to this kind of thing. It was a week to the day that I first met Clarence that the eldest Waid boy, Brian, came to my front door.

I opened up to see the twelve year old staring at his untied shoes, nervously chewing on his thumbnail. When he first spoke it was so quiet I had to ask him to repeat himself.

“… Have you seen Cooper?”

Cooper was the Waid’s obese chocolate Labrador retriever. Good dog though, even if he was always begging at the summer barbecues and drooling like a monster. I shook my head, not even recalling the last time I saw the dog. “What’s up buddy, is he missing?” I asked.

Brian nodded, chomping down on another finger nail.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen Cooper. Tell you what, I’m about to take Hamlet for a run. I’ll keep an eye open for Cooper while I’m out, okay?”

That seemed to relieve the kid at least, I got a half smile out of him before he bolted from my porch and headed to the next house. I felt for the kid, I wasn’t particularly closed to the Waids but I knew Brian had some social issues. It had to be hard for him to go door to door like that. I went looking for Hamlet’s leash, figuring there was no way Cooper could get far. I’d seen him dozing on his owner’s front lawn without any supervision nearly every warm day in the summer. It would’ve taken a lot to get him to leave his comfort spot.

I figured it would be easy anyway, if the dog had just wandered off. But I combed through the neighborhood, even bringing Hamlet’s gourmet treat bag to try and lure out the greedy pup. I headed out again at lunchtime, and I even told Walter not to expect me at the shop that afternoon because I was looking for a lost dog.

It didn’t cross my mind until it was dark out that perhaps Cooper had not just ‘wandered off’. I mean, he was a good dog. I checked in with the Waids at dinner, all of the poor kids a wreck and the parents having not a clue where Cooper could’ve gone off to.

“After all, we just let him out a few minutes before we looked out the window and saw he was gone. I don’t understand how he could’ve gotten out of the yard and out of sight so fast,” Mrs. Waid said, although the way she fidgeted clued me in that she didn’t believe Cooper ran away. Of course she couldn’t say that around the forlorn Brian, telling the boy someone stole his dog would’ve probably broken him, but I could read between the lines. And it was the only possible scenario that made sense, although why someone would steal Cooper was beyond me.

The next morning when I was going to take Hamlet for his morning walk, I saw the Romero kids stuffing my mailbox with something. At first I was worried it was one of their pranks, but I opened up the mailbox to see a flier.

It wasn’t just Cooper that had gone missing the day before. Rocky, the Romero’s rottweiler, had also went missing around the same time.

Two dogs, one day. It was too spine chilling to be a simple coincidence.

I mean, the cops didn’t take it seriously. Two dogs missing but no one seen ushering either away or lurking around the properties, so clearly both just ran away. Just bad timing. Yeah right. No one in the neighborhood bought that, and by that night everyone was keeping a tight grip on their pet’s leashes.

That grip grew even tighter when their bodies turned up.

I just left the house with Hamlet for his morning walk when my dog suddenly barked and pulled his leash free from my hand, dashing down the street. He bolted right towards a dark shape next to the Waid’s dumpsters that I initially thought was a trash bag. It wasn’t until I got closer that I saw the pool of stagnant blood and realized the ‘trash bag’ was the lower half of a brown dog’s body. Someone had cut it in half, right about where the ribs ended.

I skidded to a stop. I stared for an agonizing amount of time, watching Hamlet growl while buzzing flies crawled between the viscera spilling out of the mutilated corpse.

Then I ran for the Waid’s front door and pounded on it. It was only about six AM, but no way… no way I was going to let Brian leave the house and see that.

This time when the police were called, it was taken far more seriously. It’s one thing to have a missing dog. It’s another thing entirely for the missing dog’s corpse, or well, half the dog’s corpse to be dumped practically on the doorstep. And although the perpetrator may have wanted it to seem like it was a hit and run, there was just no sign of the dog’s other half. Even if by some weird circumstance Cooper was torn in half after being hit by oncoming traffic, which is highly unlikely, we’d have to find some sign of the head and shoulders.

Brian was understandably a wreck, but his mom pulled me aside to thank me. It had been Brian’s morning to take in the garbage. If he’d seen that… god, I don’t even want to think about it. They didn’t give him all the details, but when the remains of Rocky were found later that day, dumped in a similar manner, I imagine he did get an inkling about the condition of his beloved family pet.

I knew one of the cops personally, he’s another of my neighbors, Tim Grove. We met when he moved here a few years back with his heavily pregnant wife Florence. She couldn’t really help with furniture, so I tagged in. Although my first impression of Tim was to be a bit intimidated by the big guy, we’ve ended up becoming pretty good friends. I’m actually go to babysitter for their son Harry. That night after the initial panic had died down, Tim came over to chill at my front porch.

“You know what dead animals mean?” Tim asked me as we watched the sun set in this previously simple neighborhood.

I just raised an eyebrow and waited for Tim to remember my hobby. “Not like what you do,” He rolled his eyes and punched me in the shoulder. “Like what happened today.”

I unfortunately had to nod. “Fucked up person. Really fucked up person,” I said.

Tim nodded, dragging his hands down his face. “Damn it. I don’t ever want to see another dead dog in my entire life,” He groaned.

I got the man a beer, not at all envious of the task that was in front of him. By the time I returned, I internally groaned when I saw Clarence with yet another gift for me, a wrapped up fruitcake. He looked about ready to wet his pants at the sight of Tim.

Clarence sighed with relief when he saw me. “I just came by with this!” He handed me his newest baked offering. “Um, I’m s-sorry, I didn’t know you had someone over already, I didn’t want to be a hassle, I just made too much m-m-mixture and-”

“Clarence, you’re fine,” I interrupted. “This is Tim, he’s my neighbor to the right. His bark is worse than his bite.”

Tim quietly laughed. “Hope you end up liking it around here, Clarence. Moved here little over three years ago myself, and well, other than what happened today, it’s usually pretty quiet.”

Clarence cocked his head to the side. “What happened today?” he asked. Tim grimaced and looked to me to handle this.

“Someone killed a dog. Two dogs, actually. Pretty messed up,” I said.

Clarence looked sympathetic. “Which families? Would they appreciate some baked goods?” He asked.

“Maybe give them a few days. But that’s a nice thought,” I said.

Clarence nodded and nudged his glasses up with a finger. “Goodbye then, I’ll speak with you tomorrow if we run into each other!” With that, he skittered off back to his house on the corner.

Tim waited until he was out of earshot before he turned to me. “That’s the guy that just moved in?” He asked, sounding carefully nonchalant.

“Yeah. He’s all right.” I unwrapped the fruit cake and sat down. “Bit bad at making friends, but he’s all right.”

Tim didn’t say anything, only twisting his mouth before eyeing that cake. “Sooo, is he a good baker?” He asked.

“He’s good at baking cookies at least. I’ll cut us some slices and you’ll find out if he’s good at cake too.”

Answer: yes, he was good at cake too. We quickly changed the subject away from Clarence, really we stopped talking about the events of the day entirely, we needed to decompress.

I imagine some of you are wondering why Clarence wasn’t top of the suspect list, since the mangled dogs showed up right after he arrived in town. And I think it’s because not many people even realized Clarence was there. He was just that invisible of a person. Hell, I wouldn’t have noticed if Clarence hadn’t made it a point to keep showing the fuck up wherever I was. Even then, I didn’t chalk that up to stalking or anything creepy. That’s how nonthreatening he came off as, even if he was bizarre.

Some people are just good at that I guess.

People of course took precautions. Never leave your dog alone in the yard, don’t let them out late, just keep an eye out for anyone who looked off.

It didn’t stop though. That’s the whole chilling part about it, the fact the pet killer saw people had their guards up and it didn’t stop him. More pets vanished, both cats and dogs of all breeds and sizes. In and out the thief would slip into yards, take their beloved pets, and within the week their butchered remains would show up near their home. Only parts and never the whole. I never let Hamlet off his leash when we were outside, which made him miserable, but the very idea of losing my best four legged friend was enough to break me. I’m sure any and all pet owners can empathize with that.

I never considered Clarence a danger until an afternoon I was watching Harry for Tim, a ‘work emergency’ that he didn’t want to go into too much detail about but odds are was another dead pet. That day I’d taken Harry to the park because he ‘wants swings time!’ I couldn’t say no to that lil face, it’s too cute. Besides, I’m not his dad. I don’t have to say no.

Harry was begging me to swing him higher when I heard someone softly clear their throat behind me. I turned my head around and saw a surprised looking Clarence.

“I d-didn’t know you had a son,” Clarence said, nudging his glasses up as he stared at Harry.

“He’s not mine, he’s the Grove’s,” I scooped Harry off the swing, the kid squealing as I set him on the ground, “This is Harry. I’m just watching him for now.”

Harry grinned and did that cheeky wave of his that made him seem shy, but it was all an act. Kid can and would make friends with anyone that gave him even a little attention.

I didn’t expect Clarence’s response, which was to immediately turn his head away and shudder. It was such a visceral reaction that I was, for the first time, truly put off from Clarence.

“Are you okay?” I asked, picking Harry up and letting him cling to my side like a little monkey.

Clarence kept facing away, but I saw his face going red and his eyes looking a bit wet. “It’s nothing,” He squeaked out, his voice barely above a whisper. He finally turned to face me, plucking his glasses off to clean them on his shirt and smiling at the little guy. “H-Hello, Harry. You remind me of my Trudy, you know?”

Harry beamed and waved again. “Hello! Hello!” He chanted, reaching to try and take Clarence’s glasses. Clarence chuckled and mock put the glasses on his face, but he couldn’t hide the genuine pain on his face when he took them back.

“Hello, and… a-another time, then,” With that, Clarence sped out of the park, not even stopping to give a more official goodbye. Harry didn’t pick up on anything being strange, but toddlers usually don’t pick up on social strangeness, he just wanted more time on the swings.

I did though. And I brought it up that night when I was chilling with Tim, both of us cracking open a few beers.

Tim was clearly exhausted, the last few weeks of animal thefts and deaths were wearing him down. He needed the guy’s time on the porch. It was after Harry was put down for sleep when I brought up Clarence’s bizarre behavior at the park.

“Why was he even there?” was Tim’s first question.

“Guy sticks to me like a burr to a sock,” I responded, throwing my emptied beer can into the trash, “I think he’s just… clingy. You know anything about him?”

Tim shrugged. “I ran a background check on him after he gave us fruitcake. Just to see if anything popped up, relax. Guy doesn’t even have a parking ticket, he’s clean as they come.”

“What about Trudy? Did he have a child?”

Tim sighed and reached for another beer. “Did. He did have a child,” He said. “That’s the one thing that really popped out at me, I kinda feel bad for the guy.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“She died. About a year ago.” Tim shook his head. “Clarence was driving home from work, got t-boned in the center of the intersection. He lost his left leg from the knee down and his daughter Gertrude didn’t make it. She was four. Life seemed to just fall apart for him after that. Divorced his wife right after he got out of the hospital, lost his job shortly after that. I didn’t want to give him a hard time, so I left him alone after I ran the check. Just had to make sure he wasn’t some kind of wanted serial killer. They tend to do that, you know- start with animals, work their way up to more… human prey.”

I sat there, completely stunned. No wonder he’d reacted like that around Harry, if he was still grieving the loss of his own kid that was around that age. As I headed back home, I resolved to try to reach out to Clarence more often, starting the next day.

I never did. That night me and the rest of the neighbors woke up to Florence’s bloodcurdling screams.

I ran over without even putting my shoes on. I didn’t even try to make sure Hamlet stayed indoors, so he ended up running outside with me. I just about ran into their door when Tim whipped it open, his face white as a sheet.

He only got out the word ‘Harry’ before he collapsed in my arms, nearly sending us both toppling over- Tim’s a big fucking dude. I helped him to the bench in the front porch before I burst into the house, unsure of what I would find.

I found Florence, still screaming in her child’s bedroom. The window was open, letting in a cool breeze, and Harry’s bed was empty.

I couldn’t get a lick of sense out of the hysterical Florence, so I stumbled back out to Tim, who was still white and was now trembling. I quietly sat down next to him and asked, “What happened?”

“… We put him down around seven. Florence only wanted to take a quick look at him when she was up and he was… gone. He’s not in the house. Where’s my boy?”

I didn’t even consciously think about it. I just remembered Clarence’s face in the park earlier that day, the look of tragic loss, and how it was now plastered across the face of my friend.

I still didn’t stop to get my shoes on. I bolted across lawns and down the street, Hamlet galloping after me as I ran to that quiet house on the corner. Clarence’s house. It looked somehow even more uninhabited than ever, the lights all dark and the lawn unkempt. Sometime since he’d arrived the front window had been broken and all he’d done was tape some cardboard over it.

Tragedy can make a man do some really messed up things, and I found that out the moment I entered the house.

Hamlet started snarling the moment I forced open the door. Hamlet rarely growls, he’s a pretty laid back dog. But he could pick up the wrong before I did. I heard the jangling of a dog’s tags down the hall and I turned on my phone’s light as I stepped further into the house. The place was still filled with unpacked boxes, nothing in any sort of order.

I almost reached the kitchen when out poked the head of a chocolate lab. A chocolate lab I only knew too well.

I froze. Cooper stopped only for a second, his head lolling to one side before he looked up at me. I panned my light over the rest of him, my hands shaking as I saw he was cleanly split down the middle, the back end of him taller than his front end and with short black fur contrasting with Cooper’s soft brown coat.

I dropped my phone, I heard the screen smash on the way down but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Hamlet barked, the hair on the back of his neck standing straight as his hackles raised. Cooper didn’t really respond, just meandered his way back into the kitchen and plopping down by the sink, next to a cat… a Frankenstein’s monster of a cat. I picked up my phone and panned the light over to see there was no less than four different cats sewn together to be one single feline, its glazed blue eye looking at me while its just as milky amber twin was permanently tilted towards the ceiling. Cooper, well, half Cooper and half Rocky just huffed while the Frankenstein’s cat groomed his ears.

I was shaking so bad as I made my way back to the living room. I collapsed on the couch, Hamlet whining and pressing his nose into my hand as I continued to tremble. It looked so wrong in a way I can’t even put my finger on, but I guess the closest feeling would be to compare it to uncanny valley- it was still a cat and still a dog, but at the same time it wasn’t.

Another cold nose, this one dry, rubbed against my ankle and I hauled my foot up to see another cat… well, half a cat.

I didn’t know whether to laugh hysterically or scream and cry at the sight of the two headed animal at my feet. One head was of an orange tabby with ripped up ears and the other head was a bichon frise that I recognized from a missing poster that was plastered on the corkboard at the grocery across town. The heads and shoulders were sewn together clumsily to the body of another animal that wasn’t dog or cat- the best I could guess from the bushy orange tail it was a fox.

That disturbing chimera stared at me with all four eyes before he clumsily clambered back into an empty box.

I forced myself to get up, fearing even more for Harry. I was leaving the living room with full intent to go get Tim and the rest of the goddamn police force… but that’s when I quite literally bumped into Clarence leaving his basement.

I just froze, staring back at the nonplussed Clarence. My new neighbor eyed the growling Hamlet, then looked back at me. Nudging up his glasses, he smiled. “I didn’t know you wanted to come over, Bobby. But I thought I heard you up here. Are you here for Harry?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Come, follow me. He’s downstairs.”

I don’t know why I followed Clarence when I should’ve bashed his head in against the wall and made a run for it, but I did. I told Hamlet to sit and stay, and for once the dog listened to me as I followed Clarence into the basement. The basement reeked, smelling so metallic I could almost taste it, and Clarence turned on the light to a horror show.

Blood and gore caked the area around a worktable in the center of the room, bloody needles and thread stacked up next to it along with a bin full of innards and bits of hide. Beside it, the front half of a raccoon attached to the back end of a dachshund was leisurely chewing on a piece of intestine. A murky tank of water was up against the far wall, its surface occasionally disturbed by whatever was inside. I nearly collapsed with relief when I saw Harry, unharmed, sitting on a couch and clutching a stuffed rabbit I knew wasn’t his.

“Rogue taxidermy. Have you heard of it?”

I nodded while Clarence took a seat next to Harry, patting the boy’s hair while Harry’s bottom lip quivered. “Like jackalopes. Not really my thing. Clarence, why is Harry here?”

“First things first.” Clarence nodded to the murky tank. “Take a look at my newest creation. Not every one worked out, but I feel this one looks the best.”

Deciding that just going along with what the potentially crazy and murderous guy wanted was the best course of action, I headed over to the tank. I nearly set my fingers on the side when Clarence cleared his throat. “Uh, maybe don’t… do that. Just wait a moment.”

So I did. In a moment, the water stirred and out popped the head of a goat. I jumped backwards with probably quite the yell, much to Clarence’s amusement as I heard him quietly chuckle.

The goat glowered at me before it flicked its tail above the water… its fish tail. As it swum circles around the tank, its lips twitched to show its flat molars had been replaced with what I could only assume were the teeth of various dogs, all janky and twisted.

“I spent a long time getting all the fish I needed for its tail. I needed them fresh, you see, so I couldn’t just go to any fish market and expect the freshness required.”

I turned back around, hiding my shaking hands behind my back. “What the actual fuck, Clarence?” I said, my jaw clenched so tight it was borderline painful.

Clarence tutted his tongue and covered Harry’s ears. “Small ears listen, Bobby,” He gently scolded.

“Not apologizing. What is that?!” I asked, gesturing to the goat monstrosity swimming in its tank. “What is… what is all of this?!”

Clarence got to his feet, putting himself between me and Harry, who was still cuddling the rabbit and clearly struggling not to cry. “You get a lot from a family, you know. Inherit so many things.” In this basement that stunk of death, Clarence had gone from the shaky nerdy fellow to a man confident and dare I say it, proud of his work. “I’ve inherited my talents, and of course the instructions, to fake life.” He nodded towards the dog-raccoon combo. “It’s not really alive, or it doesn’t have its soul from before. It’s running off muscle memory, which probably is why that goat is so poorly behaved.”

Before I could get it out, Clarence answered it for me. “And as for why, well, my ancestors have been playing with the dead for almost seven generations.” He nodded towards the work bench. “Go on, take a look.”

It took me a second to realize he was gesturing to a book, thicker than most dictionaries and bound with old, cracked leather. Still trying to keep Clarence at the corner of my vision, I picked up the book and flipped it open. The writing near the beginning was faded and written in such old English I could barely understand it, but as I flipped through the pages the words became darker and the language began to modernize. At the end of each section was a signature.

“My mother was the most recent author. I was her only child. Luckily for me, I lived long enough to inherit the book.” Clarence’s jaw clenched so tight it looked painful. “But I’ve not been so lucky.

“Trudy?” I asked.

Clarence took a deep shuddering breath before he nodded. “It was all my fault, you know,” A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, “I’d been working far too hard. My wife, bless her, told me I needed to take it easy, but I wanted to- I guess I just wanted to make a mark somewhere other than the book, which would only be seen by family. I fell asleep at the wheel of my car when Tr… Trudy was sleeping in the backseat. We were heading home from a father daughter date, because I f-finally promised to take the time to spend time with her. I thought I’d have a hundred more nights like that, never even thought for a moment how it’d be the final time.”

He looked at Harry, eyes filled with grief. “No, he doesn’t look like Trudy. Not a bit. Trudy… my Trudy looked like her mother. Ginger hair and hazel eyes, had a beautiful smile. But this boy, it’s his soul that reminds me of Trudy. Good. Just… just so good. I promise, no animal in here suffered. I managed to procure some pentobarbital to help them go easy and quietly. Except for the goat, unfortunately that one had to be fought with a bit more. Quite an ornery creature, but I wanted to see if I could pull off making a seagoat. And I did, didn’t I? No one else in that book has succeeded in making separate parts work as a whole. It’s been tried of course, Mary Shelley was quite an inspiring woman, but I was the one to figure it out. I have to pass it on to someone, don’t I?”

The conviction he spoke with during his speech, I almost understood him. Almost.

I set the book back down and carefully approached Clarence. “But you can’t pass it onto Harry. You know he’s not your son. We can make this better, Clarence. You don’t want to hurt Harry, right?” I said, trying to speak in a calm voice and not with the fury I felt for the sake of this little guy.

Clarence’s face contorted in horror. “Of course I wouldn’t!” He said.

“Can’t you see how scared he is then?” I gestured to the little boy. “Was that Trudy’s bunny? He seems to like it.”

Clarence swallowed audibly. “She named it Rosie,” He said.

“You don’t want to hurt Harry, but his dad? He’s in agony right now. Just like you were when you lost Trudy.” I took another careful step towards Harry, trying to gesture for the little boy to come to me but he seemed about glued to his seat. “You don’t want to hurt someone like you were hurt. You didn’t even want to hurt these animals, you just wanted to create something new, and you did. It’s… it’s beautiful, Clarence. You’ve really done something incredible.” My stomach turned at the lie, but I was just trying to calm this guy down as I inched closer to Harry. “Let’s go to Tim and return Harry. We can get you some help. I’ll be with you every step of the way. It’s not too late to make things right.” I was now right up next to Clarence, who was staring at his hands. “We can make this right?” I asked. He didn’t respond, just staying still. I took that as a sign of acceptance, so I reached for Harry.

My first mistake was assuming Clarence’s stillness was a sign of surrender. My second mistake was assuming that Clarence wasn’t as wimpy as he looked.

He moved like lightning, one second I was reaching for Harry and the next I was flat on my ass with stars exploding in front of my eyes and my head screaming in pain.

Clarence stood, his face a careful mask as he patted Harry’s head. “I’m sorry, Bobby. But I know there’s no returning from what I’ve done.” He leaned down to look at me, smiling that friendly smile that now made my skin crawl. “I won’t kill you. You can tell Tim and Florence I’ll take great care of Harry. He won’t even miss them, with all the things he’ll be able to learn from me.”

With not many options, I did probably one of the lowest things I could’ve done.

I smacked Clarence’s left leg out from under him. It hurt like hell to whack his prosthetic, but it had the desired effect. Clarence immediately lost his balance and he tumbled to the ground. My head still swimming with pain, I scrambled to get up and scooped Harry up, who finally began to wail as I held him in my arms. I tried to head for the stairs, but by then Clarence had gotten back up and limped his way in front of me, cutting off my mistake. He was still so calm, not at all mad about my retaliatory attack.

“You’re not leaving with Harry,” Clarence said. “I won’t kill you, I promised and I don’t break promises, but I will hurt you if it means I’ll have him.”

I backed away, now not at all sure of what Clarence was capable of now. Sure, he said he wouldn’t kill me, but would him killing me count if he could just bring me back right after?

I kept stepping backwards until I nearly bumped into the tank. I heard the gnashing of the seagoat’s teeth behind me and it occurred to me that not all of Clarence’s creations were happy to just chill and eat their own guts.

I bolted behind the tank and with one strong kick, I knocked that tank over.

The tank’s water spilled across the floor and the seagoat flopped about, trying to find balance with only two legs and a fish tail. Its strange yellow eyes rolled back towards me for a second and I briefly panicked, thinking it might be come for me, but it thankfully its murderous gaze focused back on Clarence.

With a watery bleat, the seagoat lunged at Clarence, who screamed as he was tackled to the floor. While Clarence tried to hold that thing back and prevent it from biting his nose off, I bolted for those stairs.

Hamlet was still waiting upstairs, thank god, and we ran out of that house while Harry bawled and held onto my neck so tightly I couldn’t breathe. I ran back down the street where the cop cars had now surrounded Tim’s place.

Even if my head was absolutely killing me and the horrors of that house were still making my stomach churn, it was all worth it when I burst into the house with Harry in my arms and seeing both Tim and Florence’s expressions of despair turn to pure joy.

People are still calling me a hero, which I will admit feels pretty nice. Walter says I get free use of his taxidermy space for the rest of his life, which would sound pretty neat but he never charged me before, so it’s mostly a joke. I don’t think Tim has let a day go by without thanking me, and Harry is still my little buddy. He’s bounced back pretty well, a doctor’s visit confirmed he was perfectly unharmed and he was always a pretty happy go lucky tyke.

Of course, people called for Clarence to be drawn and quartered, but the bastard got the last laugh. It wasn’t even an hour until the cops were breaking down his door, and although they did find a few sewn together animal corpses, Clarence was nowhere to be found… and neither was his book or the damn seagoat.

[catflowerqueen]

Ironically, Eclipse might have actually done Sun and Moon a favor in the interpersonal relations department considering that Freddy actually said he missed his old friends. Which is probably the nicest and most positive thing he’s said about Sun and Moon in… a while. Suffice to say, I really don’t think this “revenge scheme” is going to work out the way he planned, for multiple reasons.

First of all, since Sun and Moon didn’t actually get kicked out (and Earth really was the MVP of the episode to be able to pull that off), this probably isn’t really going to affect them all that much unless Eclipse did some other things as well. Sun and Moon had already been basically abandoned by everyone unless they needed to ask for help or favors, and all this is going to do is make them even less likely to come and visit them. Not to mention that Sun and Moon being effectively fired just means they’re going to have more time for Moon to regain his scientific/technological/magical knowledge and then plot how to fix things. …Which actually could lead to a scenario in which Moon makes another star, come to think of it, perhaps even modifying it in similar ways to Lord Eclipse’s.

 Anyways… the second reason Eclipse’s plan isn’t going to work is that if his end goal is to make “friends” to cure his desperate loneliness, it’s just going to end up with another betrayal situation unless he keeps resetting everyone with the star constantly or actually changes how he acts and legitimately grows as a person to become nicer and drop his ”all about me” “I’m a poor victim” attitude.

The third reason is that if Monty did manage to remain unaffected, then he’s just going to be gunning for his own revenge eventually, more than likely.

I do wonder how far Eclipse was able to modify things, though. Did he manage to affect the cat? …Did he even know about the cat? Does the effect extend to hard copies of things, like printed out paperwork or children’s drawings? What about Moon’s various business ventures? Was he able to affect the Trashcan Guy at all, assuming he is still alive (which he more than likely is, let’s be honest)?

My guess is that he didn’t actually mess with the lawsuits at all, though. Fazbear’s is messed up enough on its own, and Moon and Monty got up to some pretty shady stuff. And laid a bunch of false trails to cover up other stuff. And the lawsuits probably didn’t even really name names or specifics in that regard all that much, so if they were complaining about one of the daycare attendants, they probably would have just said “the sun/moon-themed one,” and could have very easily been a reference to something Eclipse did in October or Bloodmoon… being Bloodmoon, and yet the blame would have been pined on Sun or Moon anyways since they were the only actual animatronics who worked there.

…Though that does make me wonder what Eclipse claimed his own backstory was in the altered memories.

And while I don’t blame Freddy for his actions today given that he is under the influence of Eclipse, I do still want him to offer an apology once the situation is (hopefully) resolved and they fix everything. Based on past examples when stuff like this comes up on the show, though, and how Freddy and everyone else are just horrible friends to them in general, my guess is that it’s unlikely to happen.