#i think it is mainly because of my own problems with grief

[sungjinhos]

i love how seventeen encapsuled depression into a mp3 file

[reo-bylerwagon]

something super interesting to me is how a lot of viewers still struggle seeing mike reciprocating will's feelings, when the same thing could've been said for joyce in season 3.

i'd argue she's even harder to read than mike (mainly in s4) in most moments she has with hopper in season 3.

let's start off with their first interaction in season 3! and to really get into the grime, joyce's first time seeing hopper in the season.

is she just happy she has a visitor on a super slow day at work ("you're our first customer")? could be. she did immediately drop what she was doing the moment hop walked in, though.

when she does pick up on her tasks, she does incorporate a little flirting with hop... followed by the winona doe eyes look-up

then her gaze keeps getting softer

doesn't pull her eyes away from him...

and here it is. our first ever look at joyce byers yearning. (she hasn't processed what hop is saying yet give her a break lol)

she gets lost in the moment, and actually acts on wanting to feel closer to him, and comfort him.

these lyrics from "she's got you" by patsy cline are echoing her confusion right now. the lyrics in the caption are actually wrong, it should be "i really don't know, but i know it won't let me be" (i know that bc i'm a big fan of this song but that's beside the point lol). she doesn't know what her feelings for hopper could mean, but she's starting to realize they're there, and they might even be freaking her out a bit. understandably so! she lost bob a little under 8 months ago at this point, she hasn't even had a year to process her grief and trauma that came with witnessing it all.

then, hopper makes it real and asks her out. it is all about the microexpressions. her expression might've dropped, but her eyes are still saying the same thing, they're still holding that sense of longing. but that doesn't mean she isn't afraid, and taken aback, so it makes sense why joyce retreats.

on the subject of joyce retreating, standing hopper up isn't the only example. in my opinion, this scene is a very underrated, yet summation of how joyce handles romantic confrontation.

as hopper continues to call her out, we don't see her again. because once he says this, she basically dips.

sure, hopper wasn't fully digesting the problem at hand. but, all i'm saying is, isn't it convenient for joyce to use that fact to redirect the whole "you like me, but you're scare to move on" conversation by stealing his pliers (i think?) and making this lab mission happen?

and also, something something "like mother like son".

mix that with jonathan evacuating the second steve shows up at nancy's locker

this is the part of the post where i flip the bird to anyone who says byler analysts only talk about other relationships to prove byler (which, i gotta say, is annoying in general because bro i love these characters with my whole soul, and identifying dialogue and visual parallels that I DIDN'T PUT THERE is apparently disrespectful and shallow or something? touch grass, idk what to tell you if this post is somehow offensive.) anyway! i am actually using byler to shed light on joyce's perspective on her relationship with hopper during season 3, and how similar the relationships are in stranger things collectively, so let's go!

let's rewind about 24 hours! i'm gonna lay out this interaction, because there's something familiar about it.

the second the romantic implication is said out loud, and taken as such, joyce gets deflective and uptight. this leaves hopper to emphasize their "friendship" in his defense.

this sounds a lot like mike and will's fight at rink o mania. (both in episode 2 btw)

will even clarifies that this is about friendship more than once, even if some things he said were his attempt in seeing how mike would take them. the importance of this is that joyce and mike get defensive in their own way, and it is because, regardless of how hopper/will delivered it (or intended the delivery to be), they took these conversations romantically, and reacted similarly. of course, joyce is a woman in her late 40s, and mike is a 14 year old boy, so one reaction is more extreme than the other, but that doesn't diminish the essence these reactions share. they [mike and joyce] even leave in one last stinger (again, one is more extreme than the other.)

while we're on the subject of byler and jopper uniquely paralleling each other, here's another one that spells it out better!

joyce and will feeling like they're losing their mind/going crazy because of the mindflayer vs hopper and mike feeling like they're losing their minds/going crazy because they think they're seeing things (you could go further saying its an association with el, since hop was fighting off the demodogs to keep them off of el, and mike literally thinks he's still seeing el herself).

i want to include one more scene comparison, and i've talked about it vaguely before.

the upside down couch.

before it was upside down, joyce and hop had their first moment on screen where they both openly and mutually pined for each other on this couch. and not only that, but it is all while being basked under a very similar morning sunlight.

leaving this here to prove it's the same couch just 'cause

as i said before "like mother like son"

there's another byers who carries his unconscious crush home, and tucks them into bed.

extending the web even further, in the same night, mike takes will "home" to a similar couch, where he also comforts him.

and even though we don't see it, mike (and lucas lol) also bikes with will back to the wheelers in the same rain storm joyce takes hopper home in! (and this time, it's obvious that will sleeps over.)

[bibibbon]

I don't think a lot of Aizawa stans realize or care about how all-take-and-no-give his relationships with Mic and Midnight are.

I read somewhere that Mic and Oboro were friends longer than either of them had known Aizawa, and Aizawa's over here acting like only he lost him. Mic canonically put his own grief on the back burner to be there for Aizawa, and how is he thanked? By constantly being told to shut up and being belittled.

Midnight (maybe?) gave Aizawa the teaching position at UA to help with his grief. Now, she shouldn't have done that, especially since Aizawa had made it clear that he didn't want to teach, but he could have put his foot down and not taken the position! Instead, he makes an ass of himself to everyone around him - his students in particular. In a setting where common sense exists, this would give Midnight a bad look, but you know Aizawa doesn't care about that. He doesn't even seem to care that Midnight DIED, though that's mostly due to her death being purely for shock value 🙄.

Again, in a setting where common sense exists, Mic and Midnight would have called him out on his bullshit a long time ago and probably would have asked themselves, "why are we still friends with this guy?" It's especially upsetting, since he's compared to Kakashi so much. Kakashi has plenty of his own issues, but he's way more of a genuine friend to Guy than Aizawa supposedly is to Mic and Midnight.

Hi @nutzgunray-lvt 👋

Iam not sure if it is canon that present mic and oboro have been friends for a longer time but if it is thats not a good look on aizawa.

From the little we see of the rooftop squads friendship a lot of it does consist of present mic and midnight giving to aizawa than aizawa giving to either of the two.

For example, present mic was there for Eraserhead after the first war arc and present mic was also there for eraser after the usj arc. Midnight did recommend and nudge aizawa into becoming a teacher at UA and in the vigilantes manga it was thanks to her that oboro, mic and aizawa got an internship at a hero agency.

However, this begs the question what does aizawa do for his friends?

Nothing. (Or well canon doesn't show us that he does anything. Do correct me if Iam wrong of course)

Now sure you can definitely point fingers at horikoshi and say that he simply didn't actively include present mic and midnight in his story and that they were mainly there to prop up or almost be tools for aizawa and his development and to that I do agree but it doesn't change the fact that this is the dynamic that canon seems to establish between these characters.

I suppose you're talking about this scene when aizawa interrupts present mic telling him that midnight died and also present mic expressing his grief.

Now I won't deny that this is incredibly rude on aizawas part and that if aizawa were to listen and offer support it would at least show that he does give back to his friends but I suppose horikoshi thought it would be more important to give us "dadzawa". Personally, I do believe that there could of been a balance that we could of indeed received present mic expressing his feelings and aizawa offering support while having them talk and debrief about the entire situation yet we didn't get that.

I have seen the rebuttal that aizawa only did this because he didn't want to hear that midnight died and that he was also burying his emotions but I do suppose that's up to interpretation. My main problem is that midnight's death doesn't get brought up again after this moment between this duo/trio (if they count kurogiri).

In the end even after kurogiri dies due to bakugo it all feels empty and it's not properly talked about between mic and eraser who witnessed this moment.

I think that the kurogiri/oboro reveal really could of shown us more of all the characters sides. It could of shown us then caring and supporting eachother and also seeking comfort in eachother. There were many moments where we could of seen aizawa comfort or give to his friends but we don't and I really don't think that's supposed to be intentional writing from horikoshi.

[utilitycaster]

I really appreciate your thorough breakdowns of this campaign's end, because I fell off of watching live back in summer 2023 (personal reasons), and though I kept myself pretty up-to-date with subsequent events I eventually started thinking "I'll come back when interesting things start happening" and I just never seemed to find that point. Good to know I'm far from the only one pretty displeased with how things apparently left off.

To throw in my two cents, I think you're spot-on with your impression of what kind of people those who think this was a narratively satisfying ending are. Specifically, I think it's coming from the type of people who find certain characters (I'm sure you can guess who) extremely relatable—difficult childhood, and/or early adulthood trauma, and/or were taken advantage of in grief—but refuse to acknowledge the fact that recovering from these things requires choosing to personally put in effort to do so. They want these characters to be handed a perfect happy ending, no work required, no matter what, and so when those of us who find that unsatisfactory dare to voice that opinion it's a personal attack on them saying that they don't deserve to be handed joy without working for it, because if their favorite characters can have it, so should they. (Because fiction is reflective of reality, so clearly that's what that means, I guess.) It's frustrating because I'd had high hopes for Imogen and Laudna's story in the beginning of the campaign, but there was a point where I just couldn't put up with their deliberate stagnation anymore. Definitely could have been psychologically interesting, though.

(And, just to be perfectly clear, this isn't a dig at anyone in the cast or anything—I suspect this was a case of too much ambition from previous success leading to less careful planning all around. I'm admittedly not super clear on exactly what the deal was with all the gods in the finale, though, so it's entirely possible I'm missing something major.)

Thanks! And yeah that does really feel like it in the end. Like, it is a campaign that seems to mainly be enjoyed by excuse-makers who want there to be a reason why it's right and proper to enjoy it and that criticizing it is inherently bad and wrong. Like, sorry man, if you see a post in the wild from someone you've never seen before indicating a character you relate to is stagnant and childish and your response isn't to say "well, I believe that's untrue, I'll make my own post about this" or "I don't like this so I'll block them" or "hmmmm maybe they are stagnant and childish, but they are relatable for other reasons, which are:" but instead to complain to them about how they are judging you, a random person they've never spoken to, you are the problem! You are the one feeling judged by a stranger who doesn't know you exist and who has no power to do anything beyond say something mean to you, and instead of going "wait this doesn't fucking matter" you are demanding the world bend around you to your will, and playing the victim when the world says "lmao no."

Like, again, no one is actually defending the campaign meaningfully. They're coming up with excuses why they can't or they're coming up with incorrect reasons why critique is impermissible (that fortunately no one is listening to) - that it's improv, that it's happy, that people aren't couching their posts sufficiently in This Is Only My Opinion (this is not how reviews/crit works, eg this AV Club article on the Severance premiere does not have Saloni Gajjar say "this is only my opinion" at the top because anyone who is smart enough to engage with media criticism in the first place doesn't need to be told this; there is a reason we are treating people with disdain and that's because the very act of being bothered by people phrasing criticism without This Is Only My Opinion is an immediate sign you are, in fact, not smart enough to get on this ride). It's the same with the characters. They want something to have suffered enough to be beyond criticism, and the rest of the fandom has (correctly) rejected that paradigm entirely, and they have no way to counter anything head on.

And as for Imogen and Laudna...while I think many things in the campaign were flaws that went beyond them, they certainly were at the heart of several, and I think had their relationship been a genuine slowburn - had Laudna rejected Imogen and remained mad in episode 65, as Laura outright expected - it might have been something worth our while.

I do think the bulk of...not even blame, simply responsibility, rests on Matt, and I do think it's mostly stretched thin/burnout/not realizing how this concept required much more work than past campaigns did, and again, I don't hold it against the cast (their live show in Philly this December was great, the CRF one-shot was fun, the Assassin's Creed one-shot was fun, and EXU Divergence has been stellar) but yeah it didn't work very well.

[fanaticallyfleeky]

Come into my arms

Buck x Tommy | wc: 1,1k Not a really a spec fic but with all the spoilers and talk about [redacted] this got into my brain and now I make it everyones problem 🙃 Obviously spoilers ahead, read at your own risk!

Read here one ao3

Tommy takes one last look at the bed before he leaves the bedroom and closes the door. He leaves a small gap, not comfortable with closing it all the way. He wants to, needs to, hear if something happens. If he wakes up, and needs Tommy.

It’s not likely. After he exhausted himself, crying himself to sleep, Tommy hopes Buck will sleep through the night. 

Today was a lot, emotionally. It was draining. For everyone. But Tommy had seen the toll it was taking on Buck. Trying to stay strong for the past days, strong for Athena and May and Harry. For the rest of his team, even though everyone had someone to lean on. Buck had looked hopelessly lost. Alone. Drowning in grief and guilt. 

Radiating desperation for someone to hold him for a second. To hold him together and tell him he didn’t have to stay strong. That he was allowed to grieve. That it was not his fault. And it broke Tommy’s heart because he didn’t feel like he could be that for Buck. Tommy had no idea where they stood now. And it was not high on the priority list to ask. 

It hurt.

God, did it hurt. 

Because Bobby was a good man. One of the best. And Tommy might not have worked under him at the 118 as long as the others, but in that time Captain Nash had made a big impact on Tommy’s life. Like he had done for so many others. He had seen in Tommy what Tommy himself hadn’t known he needed at the time. He had set Tommy free in more ways than Bobby couldn’t have possibly known. 

And with a sickening blow, Tommy had realised earlier today that he had never actually thanked the man for that. And now he never will.

Seeing the 118 today, supporting each other, leaning on each other, hurt as well. He didn’t feel like he was supposed to be there. Not his place, not his family. 

Of course, Howie had hugged him, Eddie had nodded to him, and Hen had told him she was glad he was there. That it was right he was there with them. But he felt once again like the intruder. The outsider. 

Buck had only stared at him. Empty eyes, red-rimmed and dark circles. Tommy had wanted to walk up to him, gather him in his arms, hold him. Until Buck was ready to hold himself again. But he hadn’t. 

Because he had no idea where they stood.

Afterwards came the wake at the station. It was beautiful. Well-organised. But Tommy mainly remembers that he hadn’t seen Buck eat a single thing the whole day. How he had stood ramrod straight, bound to break. 

And break he did. Tommy had found him, outside. Around the corner, near the wash bay. Hyperventilating. Jacket of his dress blues ripped open and tugging desperately at his tie. Only then had Tommy finally allowed himself to step in. Loosened Buck’s tie with steady hands. Coached his breathing until the hyperventilating gasps turned into broken sobs. Wiped away the tears afterwards. 

Somehow they made their way back to Buck’s place after the wake. Buck hadn’t said a word but he had looked at Tommy with those big teary eyes and Tommy had followed without hesitation. 

Tommy tried to think it didn’t sting when Maddie looked genuinely surprised to see him when she came to check up on her brother. 

In the evening he had ushered Buck into the bathroom to take a shower. Hoping it would make him feel the tiniest bit better. But with every sob he heard through the closed bathroom door, Tommy’s heart cracked a little more. 

It didn’t take long after that for Buck to succumb to sleep, exhausted and all cried out. 

“He’s asleep”, Tommy softly says walking into Buck’s kitchen, watching Maddie pack away the last of the leftovers in the fridge. Looking at her baby bump he realises he hadn’t even congratulated them. It doesn’t feel like the right moment now either.   She lacked the pregnancy glow. And not just because of the gnarly scar across her throat that made Tommy wince. So much has happened in the last months. So much he missed from a distance.

“If you want to go home to Howie and Jee,” he started carefully, “I’m planning on staying here… to keep an eye on him.” 

Maddie turns to him as he leans against the counter. For a moment she just stares at him. Intently. Like she’s waiting for him to give the correct answer to a question she didn’t ask but he is supposed to just know.  

Whatever she isn’t saying, is speaking volumes. She raises one, unimpressed, eyebrow. The unspoken ‘are you really staying this time’ echoes loudly in the kitchen. 

And he gets it. He broke her baby brother’s heart. It was foolish to think she would be happy to see him anywhere near Buck. 

Tommy squirms under her gaze and swallows, “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

The other eyebrow joins the first and he feels like no matter what he says to her, it will be wrong either way. 

He wants to tell her that he doesn’t know what to do. That everything is messed up and nothing feels right. That he still has no clue where he and Buck stand but that everything in his body is screaming at him not to leave Buck alone tonight.

He doesn’t say any of that.

But at the front door, just before she leaves she turns to him, “he has a guest room now. At least use that.” 

It feels like a consolation prize. 

Hours later, in that guest room, Tommy doesn’t think he has been truly asleep when he hears the squeaky door opening. More stuck in that weird limbo between awakeness and sleep. Slumbering because he is so goddamn tired but too vigilant to truly fall asleep. 

Soft shuffles of socked feet on the floor. The mattress dipping on his side of the bed. 

Tommy shuffles backwards. The duvet lifts and in crawls a sleep-warm body. He hums as Buck curls up into an impossibly small ball against his chest, all 6”2 folded neatly together and tucked under Tommy’s chin. 

A soft sniffle, followed by another, and another. 

A wavering voice whispers, “can I please stay here tonight?”

His arms instinctively close around Buck, thumbs caressing the soft skin, nose buried in his curls. And as he feels Buck’s breath even out, his body growing heavier in Tommy’s arms, he can’t help but think, 

“Please stay here forever”.

[menelaiad]

Hi! I know your favorite character is Menelaus (mine too) and I wanted to ask you, what is your opinion about him in Euripides’ Oresteia? And in Euripides’ Helen? Because as I see, the Homeric Menelaus is a little different, and Euripides didn’t despict him as a nice character.

Thank you for your answer in advance! :)

hi, there!

heck yea! fellow menelaus stans unite, let's make jackets or smth.

UHHHHH i spoke about this a lot in my recent MA thesis and it's the foundation for my phd (or at least a big chunk of it) and yes i'm sorry this bitch is going off about her academics again.

so. euripides was athenian and it's fairly safe to say that the athenians altered menelaus characterisation on a HUGE scale and it was mainly euripides as he wrote the most works featuring him. and it's also fairly safe to say that euripides didn't like menelaus OR helen OR hermione simply because they were spartan and given the context of his time, he couldn't really be pro-sparta. so, he used menelaus' family in a myriad of ways to just mock ALL spartans and spartan culture. i won't go into that too much now and i'll focus specifically on the plays you asked about! :)

ORESTES (i assume you meant orestes? aeschylus did the oresteia but euripides just did this one?): so here we see .... menelaus being not very great with his family. but not in a mean way he's just .... useless .. coward like almost? he's a big fence sitter tbh. he doesn't wanna get involved in orestes' shit and that is painfully obvious. again. that's meant to make menelaus look shitty that he doesn't care about his family and his brothers death and his nephew literally having visions of hell BUT. personally? i dont blame him ASDFGHJK. man just got his wife back. got home. dealing with grief and loss and survivors guilt and maybe ptsd and shit .................... and then orestes turns up like 'help me fix my problems' BRO HE GOT HIS OWN DAMN PROBLEMS. and THEN they're like 'ok uncle that's cool. we're gonna kill ur wife and daughter though' LIKE LEAVE THE OLD MAN ALONE. i LOVE menelaus and agamemnon's dynamic. so i'm not saying menelaus didn't care about aga and aga's family. im NOT saying that. but (and i KNOW its my modern perspective) i can see why menelaus couldn't be arsed. and he wasn't even mean about it? he was just nonplussed. AGAIN the ancients would have HATED that, but my modern ass can relate tbh. and lets not forget. he's caught between a rock and a hard place. if he helps orestes, he risks greek wrath. which (in this play anyway) is already strong enough against him cause of helen and troy. so like. euripides has kinda put him in this impossible situation and then makes him the 'stupid funny lazy ass not helpful uncle' guy when he just backs out. which i think is unfair. AND TO TOP IT OFF. APOLLO COMES AND THEN TAKES HIS WIFE. AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID TO GET HER BACK. justice for this old man i s2g.

HELEN: OH HERE WE GO! SO helen is often referred to as a tragi-comedy which i think is very accurate. and euripides is using it to condemn war as a whole (athens had recently suffered a big loss) like if helen wasn't even in troy what was the point of the war? he makes menelaus very .... pathetic, for lack of a better word. and helen seems to take the reigns in their relationship, which would have been a huge no-no to the athenian audience. it would have made helen look domineering and unmanageable and menelaus weak and foolish. he also has menelaus cry a lot. cry and lament his losses as a king. again, the athenians would have hated a man crying. a GREEK HERO crying. but we have our 21st century vision and tbh ................ menelaus is fantastic in this play. he is so. real. he is so human. he is a man who is tired. who is lonely. who is heartbroken. a man who meets his wife who isn't his wife but actually is his wife ... and we're supposed to laugh at him because he's confused? he gets lambasted by so many characters and it's supposed to be funny and i think it is! i do think menelaus in helen is just .... an incredible character. he's so funny. he's so NORMAL. he reacts how you would expect a man to react. you see so many menelaus' in this play. menelaus defeated. menelaus in love. you see a menelaus in action when he comes up with the plan against proteus but also a man who respects his wife and knows when to shut up. i, much like the athenians back then, do have a giggle at menelaus in this play. but i don't hate him. it makes him all the more endearing to me and i love him.

these two menelaus' are (shockingly) two menelaus' that i like! i love helen's menelaus and i'm indifferent to orestes' menelaus tbh. but i think they're fine as portrayals and they make sense to me!

overall, me and euripides have a complicated relationship. some of his menelaus' i cannot tolerate. and some i adore. and i can actually connect his helen menelaus and his iphigenia in aulis menelaus to homeric menelaus. they're not identical by any means, but the way he behaves and his choices and stuff. you can see homeric menelaus in there somewhere, which is why i love them so much.

[ariscats]

Jameson Hawthorne analyze, part 3

The day everyone (including me) thought wouldn’t happen came into life, the day i update my series (that i started months ago) abt analyzing tig characters. Everyone pls give a round of applause to the amazing @x-liv25-jamieswife that remembered me about this and helped me a lot writing this, even writing some of the pharagraphs.

Psychology

“I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)” -Anti Hero, T.S.

We are introduced to Jameson when he's drunk and careless. We see him jump off a two-story balcony and act like his grandfather's death “doesn't matter”. And that's mainly what we get from him throughout the first book, a boy that doesn’t care for anything, not even for himself. We get a little more explanation for why he acts like this in the second book of the series, The Hawthorne Legacy, where we find out that his actions and carelessness are a coping mechanism for him. “If you let this be a game, it doesn’t have to hurt” (THL, page 113). Jameson taught himself not to care from a very young age. After all, you can’t get hurt if you don’t let yourself care for anything, and, for a boy raised in the shadow of 3 “more extraordinary” brothers according to his grandfather, it was important for him to learn how to ignore his grandfather's words and actions (and other people’s comments too). Because people cared less for him than for his brothers, he began to move through life without looking where he stepped, without giving a second thought about most things, only letting in a select group of people, people who were with him since he was born (his brother, Emily ☠️ ), but even then he couldn't fully open up. 

To avoid his feelings, he not only takes unnecessary risks that put his life in danger, but he also drinks. Drinking his emotions away allows him to focus on things other than himself. He wants to focus on anything other than himself because of his self-hatred which we will come back to later. People drink to take away the pain which is what Jameson desperately wants to do. Another one of his coping mechanisms is to think of everything as a game. By looking at everything as if it’s a game, he can easily ignore his feelings. For example, when Tobias died, and he didn’t want to think about his death and the impact he had in his life, he began to think solely about the game Tobias had left (it’s important to note that Jameson has a laser focus, which means that when he’s focused in the game, he has the opportunity to think about nothing else, which also contributes to his copying mechanism. In the books, most of the few times where Jameson is actually happy, it’s because he’s focused on a game or riddle, because it’s one of the few times he doesn't think about all the other things happening in his life.) Doing this distracts him from his problems (grief, self-hatred, insecurities). Jameson’s main priority has always been to think of anything but his emotions, and he does everything in his power in order to do so.

When his mother got pregnant, she wasn’t thinking about having a baby. For Skye Hawthorne, being pregnant meant her fathers attention and something to love her the way she wasn’t as a child. She got pregnant with a professional gambler that never cared to show up or be present at all in his life, and, when the pregnancy and the baby stage were over, so were her fathers attention, and, then, she moved on. She left him as she had left his two older brothers. She only appeared from time to time, never staying for long. Because of that, Jameson started to believe that people would naturally leave him, and that he wasn’t worth people’s attention. He thought that him being himself and being vulnerable around people would lead to them leaving him.

This brings us to his self-hatred. With his mother constantly showing up and then leaving throughout his childhood and his grandfather telling him he’s ordinary compared to his brothers, he started to hate himself. If his own family couldn’t love him and accept him, then who could? His self-hatred and his abandonment issues are what keeps him from opening up to others. Because he hates himself, he thinks that others will too if they truly get to know him which is what keeps him from being vulnerable with others. If he keeps himself from opening up to others and letting them in, they won’t learn to hate him like he hates himself and leave him. Being vulnerable also means acknowledging his own feelings which is clearly something he tries to avoid at all costs.

[sickofthistoxicshit]

All the excuses that are made for Buckoliver, and the completely different standards the character is held to (the woobification of Buck, if you will) put me off him to such an intense degree. And it's so obvious what quarter this kind of uncritical devotion comes from. It's always the white, blue eyed boys who get this kind of leniency and understanding. We don't even treat child characters with the same empathy (see Mara sl).

Yes! Say it louder!

Like Maddie made Chimney relatable to me,

Eddie made Buck relatable to me.

Because in S1 I couldn't stand either of them, Chimney with his mean older brother and security issues routine, and Buck the entitled white boy who thinks some groveling and cutesy eyes will get him off the hook over everything.

They always made their problems, everybody's problem.

I watched S1 mainly for Athena and Hen, their S1 friendship and easy camaraderie is what drew me to watch. I wasn't returning for S2 and I really just tuned back in in S3 because I heard that JLH and Ryan Guzman joined the cast, I was curious and seriously only then did I get more invested.

And we could have made allowance for Buck's character flaws and issue in the first 4 seasons, fact of the matter is that nothing changed in him, not after his parents came at first to visit, not after Eddie was shot, not even after his coma dream epiphany, I would have forgiven all the little lapses, if that's all they were, Buck got the biggest storylines with literally nothing to show for it. He's still the same dumb kid who made his own problems everybody else's, only he's bi now (I guess, because even in that department the writers just dropped the ball) and bigger in size and age.

I am really frustrated with the vilification of Eddie's character over finally standing up for himself in front of the one he always capitualte to and understand even when anger is warranted. Eddie is finally saying what he feels, and the worst part is that he needs to be provoked by Buck (whose instruction by the writers was "be more bratty" by the way but nobody read that right?) to actually show how he is inside.

Eddie's grief and traumas, like Bobby, are all internalized, his problems are his own unless someone shoves their way in and gets it out of him.

War and death, and grief and trauma changed him for better or worse, but he never laid a hand to hurt Buck, he kept true to his promise from S3 "I would never do that" and Ryan made sure of that too because the writers had something else in mind and Ryan knew Eddie would never physically hurt Buck.

You know what Ryan's comment on Buck physically hurting Eddie was?

"Originally, Buck and Eddie were at odds with each other, more so Buck for Eddie," Guzman explained. "And as we've come to know throughout the last seven seasons, Buck is a very, I wouldn't say selfish person, but he makes a lot of issues about himself when they aren't.

"And the way Eddie navigates that is just kind of a no, that's just who he is. And nothing ruffles my feathers. Even if you break my ankle or maim me, it's fine.

"That's who he is, and I love him either way. And there's no competition for Eddie.

Like what the actual fuck? Even in the point of view of the characters who got where the writers are leading them, it's oh poor baby buck, over 30 and him hurting someone physically for attention is okay, I'll take it with love.

"That's who he is" is not an excuse anymore, he's a grown ass man who needs to get his shit together and apologize when HE HURTS SOMEONE!! - Otherwise we can't expect him not to do the same thing next time Eddie dares to make a friend, and that is how actual abuse look btw. - Now I'm not saying I'm labeling Buck as an abuser, but a little pointed finger and hand on the shoulder is sure as shit not abuse AT ALL!!

Buck is not held accountable at all. BUT NO, Eddie points one little finger and he apologizes immediately and brings Buck his kid to comfort him. Jerks that the writers are they even had him saying he was a dick for telling Buck that he's not the only one who's grieving.

Sorry, not buying it anymore, 8 seasons and not one progress was made in Buck's personality I can barely bear the sight of him.

Victim mentality is just off the charts and I can't stand the whole 'poor baby Buck, God forbid he be held accountable for anything' mentality. Ughh!

This is a lot longer than I planned, but here's a little bonus

[teitpp]

📓 for Agatha All Along again if you don't mind (and have another), please ❤️

Talk about another unwritten Agatha fic? Oh absolutely I am happy to.

I'm gonna try to write this without giving away major Undying Heart spoilers so here we go.

So something I'm definitely gonna write is a lil sequel the the Uncharted Series called Upheaval.

And this is specifically a chance for our favorite haunted toaster Evanora Harkness to team up with a returned-from-where-ever-gone-is Wanda Maximoff.

(I do intend to ensure Evanora is no longer a toaster by then because I just couldn't get the gravity of the fic right if Wanda spent the whole time taking a haunted toaster seriously.)

Anyways, I think theyd be rather natural allies by this point. Wanda has gotten rid of the darkhold, shes come to terms with her grief. BUT shes still got a weakness for wanting her family back, for wanting families to be together, and most importantly she still going to have a really negative view of Agatha.

As for Evanora, I feel like shes the kind of villain who can justify everything by taking the moral highground. (shes like lawful evil here.) I mean she sentenced her own kid to an execution that sounds like someone who always thinks theyre right and has a pretty black and white world view. mainly that anything she does is justified because its for good.

And I've been mulling over their potential partnership. I suspect Evanora would have a pretty good pitch to her. She'll help Wanda learn magic and witchery and shell help her find her sons. If Wanda will use a bit of that chaos magic to get Agatha back under Evanoras thumb. Wandas going to fall for the "Mother who made mistakes 350 years ago and wants to reform her daughter and help her not be evil" act. All Wanda has to do is kidnap Agatha and cast a new hex. One where she takes Agathas place as the leader of the Eastview coven. she gets her two sons back form Agatha, de-ages them back to 10 and gets a second chance to raise them. And then ensures the Eastview coven forgets Agatha exists.

So this has been REALLY fun in my brain to think about because im facinated by what kind of cracks would be exposed by the hex - what evidence of Agathas existence slips through. Who in her coven realizes first that something is wrong. Whether Wanda talking to these women starts to get uncomfortable with her assumption that Agatha was evil and must have manipulated them all.

And on the other side of it, We've got Agatha who's basically Evanoras prisoner. I think what i'm coming around to is the idea that Evanora doesn't have a permanent body and so shes trying to break Agatha's spirit so she can eventually steal hers and properly come back and restart her salemite coven. (I know im really evil. why would I do this to her. Angst is FUN okay!)

The thing is, while this is happening. Billy is next door. and he may have all his memories of the time since Westview surpressed. but hes got his own magic. and hes a mind reader so I think Billy and then Tommy are going to start pushing the limits of Wandas new hex pretty quickly. Evanora wont be expecting them to be a problem. wont notice them if theyre snooping. And theyll realize pretty quickly that Evanoras not exactly mother dearest.

So I'm having fun figuring out how this is gonna work. I think part of the torment for Agatha will be watching Wanda take her place but not being able to do anything about it. So im thinking of hoe her coven and she can encounter eachother when they forget who she is. (Especially Rio. that will be some torment)

So this is all very much being workshopped in my brain right now. working on what Evanoras new form is gonna be. (Chaos magic? temporary body? is she on a time crunch? is she limited to westview. does she have any salemesque allies hiding in the basement? what kind of act does she put on for Wanda? do Wanda and Agatha interact and how? How do we keep Agatha from just telling everyone shes been kidnapped? Can Wanda shut off her siphoning power (yes definitely doing that?) does she escape and how? who does she turn up to for help? does Wanda get super frustrated with Magic? if I dunk Wanda in the hallowed water at the covens little hallowed ground retreat, what happens if the little corruption purification ritual doesnt work on her (this is a really hilarious scene in my head of her being baffled that this worked for Agatha and not her). How much do Lilias gaps complicate everything for Evanora and Wanda (LOTS its LOTS).

Another thought I had is that Wanda goes into this assuming that Agatha stole her children and taught them a bunch of evil things and was probably horrible to them. and she comes out of it realizing that Agatha is the reason Tommy is alive and the reason Billy is so well adjusted rather than scared of his own power.

The biggest question I have to mull over though is whether Evanora can remain a threat if Wanda turns on her. but thats not a problem its just a plot puzzle. honestly the best kind of puzzle.

[limbuscompanysituations]

(post canto VI) Some angsty stuff, like Ishmael being upset because Heathcliff acts totally different, all in all mainly missing the deep friendship that has started to form between them, some longing for a feeling she can't quite explain. She wishes to help him but doesn't know how to approach him properly ww

He changed.

It's normal for sinners to experience sudden, drastic changes; be it either in opinions, values or goals. Through the entirety of a bough retrieval mission, they are forced to revisit their own life stories. Their emotions change, their thoughts change, their hearts change. They change.

This change, however, is most unnatural; she would risk calling it unnerving.

He's always at a corner, doing something to his bat. Ishmael thought it would be a matter of waiting a couple days. She decides to leave him to it. Their stay at the Wuthering Heights was confusing, with a lot of it vanishing from their minds. It was clear there was something she missed here.

She's still expecting that the camaraderie that had blossomed between them would lead Heathcliff to tell her what was up. Instead, all she got was a man who was a shadow of himself. Ishmael can't handle it anymore, so she goes ahead and confronts him about it.

He iss still modifying his bat, bowing over it and completely focused on the task at hand.

"What's your problem?" She asks. It takes a minute or so for Heathcliff to slowly raise his head and look at her. It took him another half minute for him to really look at her. It's like he's deep underwater.

"What d'ya want?" He asks back. She frowns.

"So this is how it's gonna be? Hiding at corners, sanding that damned bat over and over and... carving? What happened to you? It's like... some ghost snatched the soul from inside your body."

He flinches at the word "ghost".

"Catherine." He speaks in a barely audible whisper.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, thought so." He sighs and goes back to his task. Ishmael grits her teeth, considering whether or not she'd get scolded for beating the shit out of him then and there.

"The name doesn't ring any bells to you, or anybody, for that matter. That means I still... have much to do." He quietly explains.

"You could start with growing a spine." She growls, "And tell me what the fuck happened to you." The next words she speaks hurt her more than anything, "You used to trust me."

Heathcliff pauses, shut his eyes and presses his lips into a thin line.

"Yeah I... I used to... Think many things before." His voice is weak, cracking and drifting away at the end, "And you're right. My soul was stolen, snatched out of my bones. I'm hollow, pumpkin." He chuckles, "Hollow like... birds' bones, I guess."

And for the first time in weeks, a little bit of that grief started showing through the cracks. Their stay at Wuthering Heights was brief and chaotic, but she remembers one thing clearly: the moment his mind broke, his insanity took over and he became not a friend but a foe; overcome with pain beyond what a human could bear.

"Don't call me that." She replies, "Not when you're like... this."

"Aight, Ishmael. D'ya want anything else?" He doesn't look at her.

"I want you to come back." It doesn't take a heartbeat before she says these words, and then he raises his head to look at her again, "However long it takes. I'm waiting, you stupid piece of shit. Waiting for the moment you want to tell me what the hell happened to you. I'm waiting."

Heathcliff stares at her, wordless and exhausted.

"I'm waiting." She reassures him, and turns her back, ready to walk away.

"Thanks, ginger. I... may not be all right in the head but... that's much appreciated."

Without any other word, she leavwa him be. Whether it worked or not, only time would tell. Ishmael couldn't do anything but to wait. And if it was necessary, she didn't mind having to knock some sense into him either.

[szollibisz]

🦾 for owen? <3

🦾 A disability headcanon

Well there's quite a few, mostly post-fall

I think the major ones is that he has a permanent limp after, his left leg being the weaker one (even though they both hurt) and that he has burns on quite a lot of his body.

I try to make my hcs work with what he does in the show, mainly that he can still fight and run, but I personally attribute that to Chimera's inventions. When Owen said they have a little bit of everything and seeing them pioneer new technologies I got the idea they may also be doing something similar with medical techniques and equipment.

I think the fall and the explosion damaged him severely enough that, without these modern technologies he would be in a lot more pain and be able to do a lot less things. But I can also imagine this essentially makes him an experimental guinea pig to the doctors working at Chimera (Who, due to Owen being Owen and never opening up or dealing with his problems are the only ones who know the extent of his condition)

I think out of all the things he suffered through, the thing that bothers him the most during his new missions, besides the chronic pain is the hearing loss. I think he hates having one of his most important senses weakened, because at least his lessened ability to fight is compensated by being a good shooter.

I think because the burns would've constricted him too much he's also been through quite a bit of skin grafting, but all parts have never been grafted because it's too much surface area to take from other places on his body, and mostly they just wanted to improve his mobility and get his back to work as fast as possible.

Since he's such a proud and independent person I think his dignity suffered a lot having to be taken care of so much. He's been injured in the field before, but nothing that would make him completely rely on other people for an extended amount of time. I think due to his grief and anger he often set back his own progress by wanting to go so fast. Those instances reminded him of Curt a lot and just made him angrier.

Overall I think his mental strain was just as great as his physical, and that made him throw himself right back into work and ignore his issues and neglect caring for himself, especially because he needed it then more than ever. yeahhh i could ramble on for a lot more but I won't. But now I really wanna draw post-fall Owen!!!

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 3, Chapter 19

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness? Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 4 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 3

Chapter 19

Calina slid the vial of blood across the table to Yelena. The other Widow looked at it, looked back at Calina, and raised an eyebrow. “But I didn’t get you anything.”

Calina rolled her eyes. “Very funny. I need you to give this to Melina for testing.”

“Why?”

“Its from a new victim of the pheromone drug. We think the formula has changed.” Calina didn’t want to admit that it was her blood sample, taken the night she’d been dosed. After the bath had warmed her up - and after Matt had warmed her in other ways - she’d asked him to grab the well-stocked first aid kit from his apartment. Then, perched on her couch and clad in nothing but his shirt, she’d drawn a vial of blood from her arm.

She wanted answers.

She needed them.

It was personal now.

Before, she’d been invested in the hunt for whoever was manufacturing this drug mainly because it was so important to Matt. And because she empathised with the victims who’d been stripped of their reason and control by an outside force.

But she more than empathised now. She’d lived through it.

The grief. The pain. The heart wrenching emptiness of losing Matt. 

And the anger of knowing that it was a lie. She’d been manipulated - tortured with falsehoods and fantasies - through a trick of her own neurochemistry.

And that really pissed her off.

But she couldn’t explain all that to Yelena. She was still too…raw. Matt’s death may have been a lie, but her reaction to it had been very real. And just thinking about it threatened to reduce her to tears again.

Yelena nodded. “No problem.” She pocketed the small vial of blood then relaxed into her chair and tipped her head back, closing her eyes to enjoy the slight breeze in the air. They were seated at a small table outside a cafe across from Central Park and it was a beautiful spring day. And Yelena looked so…relaxed. Which was not a word Calina usually associated with her sister.

“Are you used to it yet?” she asked.

“Used to what?” Yelena answered, her eyes still closed.

“Life. Freedom. Getting to decide the course of your day - even if it’s just to grab coffee with a friend.”

“Who says you’re my friend?” Yelena mumbled, the slight curve of her lips giving away the joke.

Calina laughed and kicked the other woman under the table. “Yelena!”

Yelena finally opened her eyes and shrugged. “No. I’m not used to it.”

“Well, its only been 6 weeks. Give it time.”

“It’s not that.” Yelena lowered her voice and turned serious. “There are still Widows out there, Calina, and they still need to be freed. Until every last one is woken up from the serum, I can’t start this new ‘life’.” She made air quotes as she said the last work, her chunky silver rings glinting in the sunlight.

Calina dipped her head and stirred her coffee, the familiar guilt rising. Once again, she’d been selfish - she’d ignored her obligation to her sisters and had lost herself in her relationship with Matt. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have asked how that was going. And I should be helping you.”

Yelena waved her off. “If we’re stuck and need your help, we will call. But we’ve got this.”

“Are you sure?”

She shrugged. “It’s hard sometimes. Tracking them down is becoming more and more challenging, and seeing their reaction when they wake is always difficult…but its worth it. It feels like I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing. And when all of this mess is finally cleared up, then I’ll make a good life for myself.”

“Speaking of clearing up messes, have you heard from Natasha recently? Is she still on the run?”

“Yes,” Yelena growled. “It’s been two years, and still they hunt her across the planet. Calling her a traitor.”

“I’m sorry.”

Yelena shrugged, her eyes downcast as she stirred her coffee. “She calls sometimes, to check in. To let me know she’s okay. But she doesn’t want to risk jeopardising the Widows’ freedom - my freedom - by visiting.”

“I’m sorry,” Calina repeated, knowing the words were inadequate. Natasha meant so much to Yelena, but the two women had barely had a chance to reconnect and mend the rift in their relationship before they were separated again.

Yelena shrugged again. “It is what it is. But enough about that. What about you? Have you figured out what you’re meant to do with this new life of yours?”

“Ugh,” Calina groaned and slid down in her seat. “No. I have no clue.”

“You’ve always liked books, what about being a librarian?”

It was Calina’s turn to shrug. “I thought about it. But I want to do something that helps people more directly - like Matt with his law firm.”

“Become a lawyer, then.”

“No. It’s too…confining, working in that kind of system.”

“What about…self defence trainer. Put your skills to good use teaching others how to fight.”

Calina laughed. “We didn’t exactly learn in the most conventional way - I wouldn’t know how to train someone without using Red Room tactics.”

“And that would get you thrown in jail over here.”

“Exactly.”

At that moment, a dog walker jogged passed the cafe with a pack of dogs surrounding her, all of them strapped to her belt by brightly coloured leashes. Yelena tracked her as she crossed the street to enter the park, a slightly wistful look in her eyes. “Maybe you’re overthinking it,” she said. “Just do what makes you happy.”

“Would that make you happy?” Calina responded. “Looking after a bunch of dogs?”

“Not a bunch of them. Just one.”

“You want a dog. Like, a pet?” Calina could hear the surprise in her voice, but it wasn’t really a shock. She’d always known Yelena was a caretaker - and once she finished taking care of all the Widows across the world, she would need to focus that energy elsewhere.

“Yeah,” Yelena said. “In Ohio, the neighbours next door to us had a German Shepherd. She was big and strong and looked scary, but her name was ‘Princess’ and she was the sweetest thing. Nat and I would play with her in the garden all the time…” She trailed off, looking into the distance as if lost in a memory.

“I always forget that you had a life before the Red Room. I used to be so jealous of that - before they brainwashed those kinds of emotions out of us.”

“It would have been easier if I’d been brought to the Red Room as a baby, like you. At least then I wouldn’t have known what I was missing.”

“Yeah, I remember you being so…angry…all the time. And you would take it out on us during practice.”

Yelena winced. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry. We were all dealt a shit hand. And fighting you made us all better - it probably kept us alive and in the program. And what you’ve done to free us all - to keep freeing other Widows - it’s amazing, Yelena. I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for that.”

Yelena shrugged. “I was just doing what was right.”

“But not everyone would have. You had your freedom. You were out. And you risked it all, to come back and save us. Even though you had no loyalty to us - not really. We weren’t raised to be loyal, or develop bonds, or friendships. But you still came back. So thank you.”

Yelena squirmed in her chair, looking uncomfortable. “Alright, alright. Enough.”

Calina had never seen this side of her sister before. She was used to Yelena, the no-nonsense leader. She was used to Yelena, the hard-ass fighter. She was even getting used to off-duty Yelena, who painted her nails blue and wore mismatched prints and fur coats. But this awkward and embarrassed Yelena was brand new.

And she couldn’t help but tease her. She reached across the table, took her hand and gave her a sincere, serious look. “You’re a hero, Yelena Belova. An inspiration to all of us.”

Yelena frowned, looking even more discomforted. Then she saw through Calina’s act. She yanked her hand back, and laughed. “Fuck off.”

Calina smiled. “I couldn’t resist. I finally found your one weakness: compliments.”

Yelena laughed again, the deep husky cackle sounding so carefree. “If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.”

“No you won’t,” Calina grinned. “You love me. Admit it.”

“Never. You’re a pain in the ass, Balashova.”

“And that’s why you love me.”

———

Matt was distracted. Again.

Calina had set up a workspace in the conference room, and had spent the last couple of weeks diligently researching the pheromone case.

Karen liked the new arrangement, as it freed her up to concentrate on investigating some of their paid cases. Foggy liked it for the same reason - and because Calina always volunteered to grab them  food at lunchtime.

Calina was enjoying the sense of purpose it gave her. She’d told him just that the other night at Fogwell’s. “I think I need the structure,” she’d said, dodging his left hook. They’d both been gloved up, and had sparred in the ring for a good half an hour -  neither hitting hard enough to injure, but enjoying the adrenaline rush of the fight anyway.

“I thought that’s what put you off working in the coffee shop - it was too rigid for you,” he’d responded, jumping to avoid her attempted sweep of his ankles.

“It was. I can’t do a 9-to-5 job. But I need something to get me out of the apartment each day. A routine…but one I can control.”

“So you want to be self-employed, basically. Freelance.”

“Yeah.”

Trying to figure out Calina’s future career was a common theme to their conversations these day, and they were gradually whittling down her options. But in the meantime, she wanted to focus her time on solving the pheromone case.

Because she had a real and personal stake in it now.

She’d been doggedly reviewing and cross-referencing the mountain of financial information they’d managed to accrue on their main suspects - the men behind the companies that had purchased the main ingredient of the drug: Arsonium bromide.

Matt understood her drive. And he was grateful for her help. He also liked coming in to work with her each morning, and having lunch with her in the middle of the day.

It was just a tad…distracting.

Her scent was now a constant presence, and it’s intensity just seemed to grow and grow with every moment. It layered every surface and saturated every room…but its effect on him never seemed to dull. It was still the same potent stimulant it had always been - since that very first night he’d scented Calina on their rooftop.

The little sounds she made throughout the day were just as hard to tune out - the rustle of her clothes as she shifted in her seat. The tap of her heeled boots as she walked from the conference room table to the printer near Karen’s office. The gentle scrape of her teeth over her lower lip when she bit it in concentration. The soft sigh as another lead failed to pan out…

He was just too aware of her. Every minute of the day, his senses were conscious of her - even when he was trying to concentrate on his work or speak to a client. A small part of him was always tuned to her frequency. And he didn’t know if it was a side effect of their long separation, or if it would always be like this with her. This perpetual…wanting.

They’d given up on his ridiculous ‘going slow’ idea. Every night was now spent in her bed, and most of those nights were spent touching her and kissing her and making love to her. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough-

“Matt!”

He jerked his head up at the sound of Karen’s voice. Judging by the volume and degree of irritation, she’d been calling his name for a while.

“Sorry, I spaced out,” he replied. “What’s up?”

“Calina has something.”

Matt pressed pause on the transcript he was failing to listen to, pulled his headphone from his ear, and followed Karen to the conference room. He nodded to Foggy, who was already seated around the table, and he paused for a moment to take in Calina’s non-verbal greeting - one she was probably completely unaware of.

It was a kind of biological acknowledgement of his presence. A combination of a slight spike in her temperature, a jump in her heart rate, and a cocktail of chemicals suddenly rushing through her veins, thick with endorphins and dopamine and a whole host of unknown hormones. It was difficult to describe to himself - let alone someone without his heightened senses - so he’d never mentioned it to Calina. He also didn’t want to make her self-conscious about it.

Because he never wanted it to go away.

It was like being warmed by the rays of the sun on a frosty day. Like the relief of resting your head on a soft pillow at the end of a long, hard night. Comfort and affection and a feeling of coming home, mixed with a subtle undercurrent of desire.

It was intoxicating. Addictive. And a relief to know he wasn’t the only one so physically affected by the other’s presence.

“Hey,” she said, offering him a more traditional greeting.

“Hey,” he replied, taking the seat next to Foggy. “What’ve you found?”

“Our bad guy.”

He sat up straight, shocked. “Are you serious?”

“Really?” Karen said at the same time.

Calina took a deep breath. “I think so. It’ll need confirmation…but I think so.”

“So who is it?” Foggy asked.

“Landon Cross. Founder and CEO of Cross Corp.”

Karen frowned. “I don’t recognise that name from the list of Arsonium bromide purchasers.”

“That’s because it wasn’t on it. But you’ll recognise the name Midworld Industries.”

“Yeah, it rings a bell.” Karen opened her battered notebook and started searching through the scrawled pages. “Here it is - Midworld Industries - an independent pharmaceutical R&D company. They were apparently researching the potential use of Arsonium as a ‘nanocarrier for intracellular oncology therapeutics’, whatever that means. But we eliminated them early on - the papertrail checked out and they actually stopped purchasing the chemical last year.”

Calina nodded. “That’s because they found a way to manufacture a synthetic mimic.”

“How the hell did you work that out?” Foggy asked.

“It was thanks to Melina, the Black Widow chemist. She analysed my- a new sample we recently got hold of.”

Matt winced at Calina’s near slip-up. She didn’t want the team to know about her experience with the pheromone. Part of her was embarrassed that she’d managed to get dosed - even though he’d told her that was ridiculous. She was also sick of being viewed as a victim. Foggy and Karen knew about the way she was raised, the mind control serum, the coma…and she didn’t want them to pity her for yet one more episode of trauma.

Which he also said was ridiculous. His friends thought she was amazing.

“I can’t get over how…normal…she is,” Karen had remarked a few days ago, watching from the window as Calina jogged down the street to collect their lunch order.

“What do you mean?” Matt had asked. He could think of a lot of adjectives to describe Calina, but ‘normal’ was nowhere near the top of his list. She still seemed so new to the world. The smallest things would sometimes trip her up, like not knowing what a 401K was, or how to make a bowl of cereal.

“Just…with everything she’s been through, she seems so unaffected. So…nice. As if she really was just a college grad from Illinois, or whatever her cover story was. If it was me, I’d be so angry at the world.”

“You’ve gone through your fair share of trauma, too.”

“Yeah, and I was angry at the world for a long time. I closed myself off from everyone - right up until I met you guys, really. But Calina…she’s embraced this new life so effortlessly.”

Matt wouldn’t call it effortless - he saw how much she struggled sometimes. With her nightmares. Her guilt about her past. Her doubts about her innate goodness. Her uncertainty over her future. But he’d never share that with his friends. He liked the way they saw her - because it echoed how he saw her:

Strong. Determined.

Miraculous.

He just wished Calina saw herself that way.

“Okay, so this new analysis proves the compound is synthetic,” Foggy said. “What does that have to do with this Landon Cross guy?”

“Melina determined that the only way to synthesise Arsonium Bromide in large enough quantities to be useful was with a carbon framework printer, a piece of cutting edge technology. So I traced the companies that recently purchased one of those devices.”

“Couldn’t have been that many,” Karen commented.

“No. Only three, in fact. And when I looked closer at the financials of one of the companies - EnGene, I saw a name I recognised.”

“Midworld Industries?” Foggy guessed.

“No. Sato Holdings, a conglomerate based in Tokyo.”

“I need diagrams and a slide show to keep track of this.”

Calina smiled at Foggy’s joke. “Okay, I’ll cut to the chase. Midworld and EnGene, through multiple layers of shell corporations, are both owned by Sato Holdings. But Sato holdings doesn’t exist. Its a sham company created by-”

“Landon Cross,” Matt said, putting it together.

“Bingo. It’s a good sham - clever enough to fool US Inland Revenue, but if you can read Japanese, and know where to look, the ruse falls apart.”

“It still seems…tenuous,” Karen remarked.

Calina nodded. “It definitely needs confirmation, but my instincts say it’s him. I know bad guys - I know the way they operate, and how they try to hide. But there’s always a stench that clings to them, and I can smell it on Cross.”

“Okay,” Karen said, collecting her notes and getting to her feet, “I’ll start digging into Cross.”

“And we’ll head to the Courthouse,” Foggy said. “We have that hearing at 4, Matt.”

Matt nodded. “I remember. I’ll just be a minute.” When the other two left, Matt pulled Calina into his arms, and kissed her, a soft brush of his lips against hers. “You’re amazing. Have I told you that today?”

She shrugged. “It was just a bit of research.”

Matt reached out and touched the stack of papers on the table. “Judging by the thickness of this pile, it was more than just a ‘bit’. And how much of this is in Japanese?”

She laughed. “Only about a third.”

He shook his head and kissed her again. “Like I said - amazing.”

“All I did was get us a name - a direction to look. Proving Landon is behind all this, and figuring out how to stop him-”

“Is a problem for tomorrow. Take the win today.”

She cocked her head. “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Matt Murdock?”

“This is the new-and-improved, optimistic version.”

“Hmmm, he might take some getting used to.”

“I guess we’ll have to spend more time together then.”

She laughed. “I’m not sure that’s even possible.”

“I like a challenge.”

She laughed again, soft and low, and leaned into his third kiss.

A kiss that was soon interrupted by a wry voice behind him. “I hate to break up this disgustingly sappy display, but I need a favour.”

“Hello, Jessica,“ Matt replied, turning to face the figure in the doorway. “What do you need?”

“I need to borrow your girlfriend.”

————–

Chapter 20

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @sio-ina-bottle @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy @chezagnes

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[purgatory-hotel]

SOO, any information about the Seven Deadly Sins in your rewrite you can share?

HIII SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY LOL,, I've been unwell 💔

i don't have a lot of specific info for each individual sin yet other than little tidbits, but I can say that none of the sins are actually properly villainous/outright evil. they've still done bad things of course, but they're not Valentino levels of terrible

Satan is incredibly powerful on Earth. deadly sins can influence people directly, although most of them choose to send workers (like Asmodeus and his concubi) Satan chooses to work with humans directly since he likes to be fully in control. his least favourite sin is Lucifer since humans often get them mixed up. he also sounds like Sam Elliot :3

Beelzebub is a massive activist for hellhound rights. although hellhounds are treated like people rather than pets in my rewrite, they're still discriminated against and there's a huge problem with racism and classism in Hell. since she is so privileged and has a much higher social standing than most other hellhounds, she uses this to her advantage. she runs a shelter for homeless/otherwise disadvantaged hellhounds and makes sure they're all safe and happy. her least favourite sin is Leviathan because she's rude and encourages negative self image.

Belphegor is probably the most understanding sin. since Sloth originally referred to depression/illness in general (dismissing symptoms of a chronic condition as "laziness") she is very knowledgeable on mental health and encourages people to rest when they need to. there's doctors and hospitals in all seven rings, but Sloth is the most popular place for people to get medical help since it's the best for it. although Beelzebub mentions Belphegor having a stash of party drugs, the only recreational drug she has is weed. she produces psychiatric medication, so unless you want to have a lie down and maybe feel a bit peckish, she's probably not the best person to go to for a good time at a rave. her least favourite sin is Satan because he never knows how to chill out.

Leviathan is a girl and doesn't have a surfer aesthetic. she's a bit of an enormous bitch and mainly pushes evil things like stupid beauty standards and "diet tea" that wrecks your toilet. her least favourite sin is Beelzebub because she encourages self love.

Mammon is much less wicked than he is in canon, but he is still incredibly greedy and mainly targets children since they're more impressionable. he's definitely tried to capitalise on Fizzarolli's disabilities at some point, although he feels at least a tiny crumb of guilt as he does care about Fizzarolli, just a bit. he's incredibly flirty but he's never been in a proper relationship due to him believing that relationships have to be sexual (no one tell him that asexual people can have healthy and loving relationships, he has to figure that out on his own). his least favourite sin is Asmodeus because he thinks he's far too sappy.

Asmodeus is very passionate about basically everything; his work, his relationship, even the food he likes. he has a very strong sense of justice, so he hates that so many lust sinners are people like Valentino. His least favourite sin is Mammon because of how he's treated Fizzarolli and because he knows he doesn't like him either.

Lucifer is very similar to how he is in canon, only I want to properly explore his depression. he's spent most of the past few years being incredibly unwell mentally. he's a bit of a shut in and he spends most of his time either in bed or working on making toy ducks. I don't think he has a least favourite sin as he doesn't socialise much.

good grief pardon the yap 😭 also I hope I worded everything okay, especially regarding Lucifer and his mental health

[uniquezombiedestiny]

which ocs have been on your mind lately?

ive been thinking about my lobcorp ocs a lot lately since ive (finally) gotten back into playing the game again. mainly side characters like laverne and my fan agents (those from other peoples universes/other media).

lots of elaboration/specific thoughts under the readmore!

laverne is pretty interesting to me because shes one of the most corroded agents in the facility. she literally died and her corrosion to alriune is helping to keep her living (if shes even fully alive). death itself has given her brain damage as well, so she has. a lot to deal with in his second life of hers.

thankfully records is right below welfare lol. + for a few days afterward squeebus* was cosseting her (until she was like. im Fine its Okay. and he backed off somewhat). but her corrosion still causes problems like having a lot of porcelain skin, + there's likely some flower shit going on in her. and a heavy mental connection to alriune... and, by extension, the well!

*squeebus isnt normal about this at all. he made the decision to truly move past his grief of her (after letting her die on day 11) and like. just a few days later shes back. shes just... here again. shes here again

it makes me think of reinhardt (one of the fan agents, from @/branch-wdk53!) happening to find her as shes looking into the well (on a side note, i imagine that the well has plenty of catwalks and such for maintenance, as it's. very important. they're at the top of it here). they get to have a conversation on... a lot, really, mainly on philosophy. i think theyre both looking for a reason why theyre here, why they live, why what happened to them happened...

they do leave the well though after reinhardt realizes a) laverne is heavily corroded and b) theyre at the top of the catwalks and Maybe they Shouldnt Be. overall a fun little scene! :3

thats whats been on my mind most, though ive been looking at the pasts of my fan agents as well. i think in the end im gonna make them like. have their original circumstances (if possible lol), but set in c127s timeline and not their own.

which also makes the manager of this facility.... interesting. multiple agents have been killed and revived, and reinhardt in the past was literally an arbiter who was killed and memory wiped (which persists in this timeline). i guess my manager is now a mad scientist, and as long as the script is fulfilled and all in this loop is well, angela is okay with it lmao

[kastelpls]

steam visual novel fest sale recs

i like visual novels and there's a vn fest going on, so here's a thread on titles i like:

ELIZA

https://store.steampowered.com/app/716500/Eliza

i recently finished this title and while the topic is certainly relevant, what drew me more was how it depicted the traumas of tech startup culture. whether intentional or not, the dreams and aspirations of tech workers to solve problems become tainted by capital and hubris.

the protagonist is jaded as fuck because she's seen her creation take over the world. but she's not as melodramatic as dr frankenstein; she is still gauging how things are going. her alienated view on the world around is intoxicating and i really found the pov very charming.

the experience of playing this game made me feel like i've returned to my unpaid internship days for better or for worse. it's a story that will forever remain relevant until silicon valley and the tech industry as we know it are over. wonderful title.

SeaBed

https://store.steampowered.com/app/583090/SeaBed/

i have personal stakes in seabed since i'm one of the two non-translators credited to bringing this yuri vn overseas. my bias aside, i think this is one of the most unique video games of all time.

you follow a bunch of adults aimlessly wandering around as the world around them reflects their mental states. things just happen, but everyone takes it in the most matter-of-fact fashion. the writing is intentionally tedious at times because it is in love with the mundane. it's a story all about grief, but it is also about how to approach the ebb and flow of life.

as a friend once said, "it's a mystery where the characters don't realize they're in one." or as i like to put it, "a mystery in search of a mystery".

Christmas Tina

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1049100/_/

set in the notorious bubble era of japan, this may look like a romantic encounter between a chinese dude and a japanese girl at first glance. however, it drops that premise by having them squabble forever and not learn each other's languages.

the game is instead about minorities struggling to survive. the chinese guy left china for various reasons and wanted to make a name for himself while the japanese girl got into a car accident with a person engaged in the sex trade because she was looking for money to pay for her sister's surgery. later on, you'll read about different chinese members, a woman raised by a chinese-japanese couple, and other interesting people that make up japan today.

if there is a game i like to credit for inspiring my interest into connecting with my traumatic chinese history again in my own writing, it's this title. there's a section that surprised me because it was, after all, a title mainly developed in china and it's still very recent history. but i'm glad the developers took the risk and it's an impressive episode.

i'd seriously recommend this game if you haven't tried it. it's seriously a sleeper hit.

Chuusotsu

https://store.steampowered.com/app/630870/Chuusotsu_1st_Graduation_Time_After_Time/

the first of an ongoing series, chuusotsu 1st is about a bunch of middle school graduates who can't graduate into high school for various reasons. stories about their traumas are interlinked with the chaos of japanese social media.

likewise, it's also about trying things that they are scared to try. the protagonist is an anxious girl who wants to do art, but she keeps failing at socializing. she's cute.

The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1158850/The_Great_Ace_Attorney_Chronicles/

since this was featured in the festival, i might as well give it a shout. this is more an adventure game in the Ace Attorney series, but i consider it to be the best game and everyone should play it.

it explores a historical period dear to my heart: the era of meiji japan and victorian england. here are two imperialist nationstates, but the latter is stronger than the former and is secretly dictating how japan should behave.

not only does the game explore this colonial dynamic but it also looks into how racism functions in the british justice system. any pretense of democracy and fairness is ultimately failed when the british jury sees the protagonist and calls him an ape.

i credit the final chapter for changing my dissertation thesis when i was still doing my masters. if i ever do a phd, i'm going to continue studying the history of international students and what it reflects about us as a humanity.

Return to Shironagasu Island

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1156990/Return_to_Shironagasu_Island/

a surprise doujin hit in japan, this visual novel written by an ex-mystery writer is very old-school to a fault. you are exploring one of those MURDER ISLANDS and there's orthodox mystery tricks, but it's well-executed.

the main star is neneko who's a little cringe beast. she's cute.

games i've heard are good but haven't played yet

Bustafellows

Taisho x Alice

The Flowers series

Symphonic Rain

Tangle Tower

Fatal Twelve

Furikake Spacy

A Year of Springs

Narcissu 10th Anniversary Project

2064: Read Only Memories

Analogue: A Hate Story

if you are looking for more recommendations on steam, i have a curation page.

[neveragainfools]

Let’s talk about art since apparently I’m a dumbdumb idiot who knows nothing about it or the internet.

Am I salty? Yes. Let’s get into it. So, you might have seen the Keith Haring AI Unfinished Painting going around with my commentary of disdain, and then a bunch of people reblogging it with commentary on how it’s an obvious troll/bait post and how stupid I and those who chimed in in the same fashion are. Apparently the post made it to trending (though I never saw it there, because I mostly just pay attention to my dashboard.)

Of course it doesn’t feel good to get “got.” I think if someone hadn’t sincerely pulled a similar stunt with the Mona Lisa recently, I would’ve seen it as a troll post. I did actually take a moment to consider that it might be a troll before I reblogged with commentary. But that damn expanded Mona Lisa came to mind, and I thought, “no, there are people out there who absolutely think this is okay” and went on my little rant. Jingle my bells for I’m now the court jester. I took the bait.

Do I still stand by it? Yes, for the most part. One could argue that the troll is a form of art, and I played a part in the performance. Much like Fountain by Duchamp (a piece in which he literally signed a urinal and displayed it as fine art and it nearly burned down the art world), this piece inspires rage, and the rage is the most important part of the conversation. I’ll make no bones about my position on AI art. When the “art” is simply an image generated by an AI tool, that is not art to me. It is a commercial image. The use of an AI tool to “complete” or “expand” an image with the intention to create a vast reaction, and post it in such a manor can be argued as performance art, the same way Fountain is. Machine learning can also be used as a tool in the process to create a piece of art, but a generated image alone is not art.

So then why do I stand by it? A big problem with art types like this is that it’s callous, cold and doesn’t respect the work that it’s “building on” or “elevates.” Whether it’s Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans, Lichtenstein’s rehashing of comic panels, Duchamp’s Fountain or this AI piece, in all cases, it uses the originator without concern for the content of the art itself. Someone at the toilet company had to design that urinal. Someone at Campbell’s had to design the soup can label. Lichtenstein took panels from real living comic artists and re-rendered them with less skill and care. Those works are never co-credited with the people who did the initial designs. The twitter person who made this mess used a heartbreaking piece about a man’s grief and frustration about his own untimely death due to AIDs, and a lot of people weren’t familiar with it before this viral moment. Sure, it starts a conversation into the nature of art, as do all of these “subversive” pieces. But especially with Haring, who was concerned about computers and their eventual intelligence and would likely hate it, especially because we DO know the original artist, and those who are meant to be angered are familiar with the original piece (mainly lgbtq people), it feels especially rude and poor taste.

Other works wouldn’t cause such a visceral reaction. The personal nature of Unfinished Painting why “finishing it” is so controversial. No one says art has to be respectful. No one says art can’t steal, remix or transform works that came before it to create a new meaning. I’m still allowed to hate it. I’m still allowed to think it spits on Keith’s grave. The choice to do something so disrespectful is integral to the point of the piece, all in the name of showing how reactionary people are to AI generated images. It’s still a shitty thing to do. Perhaps something so visceral that causes such bad reaction is necessary for us to find the boundaries of where AI is or isn’t okay to be used in art. I hope for this twitter person’s sake it is.

There are so many things we could take from this debacle: reactionary nature of the internet, the question of consent and collaboration vs. remix in art, whether artists and their art should always be questioned, the list goes on. I’m happy to continue that conversation.

tldr: Sure, I got "got" by the Keith Haring Unfinished Painting AI "finishing". You could classify the act as art. It stimulated conversation into the relationship between AI images and art. But I think it's still a shitty thing to do.