#i think im having like a. i dont get manic necessarily i dont think but i get something kind of similar i think that happen to me rn <3< /div>
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total-drama-takes · 1 year ago
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Sha-mod, be yourself
Authenticity is key
Annoying or not
im autistic im not allowed to be myself in dis society /hj
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concordewillfly · 4 months ago
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ofc i listen to sysc, in fact i got a lot of band recs from queen of music connie bc she has TASTE dude 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 i love their new album soo much!!!! i dont think its necessarily ‘better’ than romance of affliction, that ones simply The Album Ever, but its a lot different from their other stuff i’d say. THE MOMENT THEY DROPPED THE COURTNEY LAPLANTE FEATURE I SWEAR MY HEART DROPPED INTO MY BALLS IT WAS MY RENAISSANCE. connie’s screams are unreal + the album & its aesthetic is unreal + what more could i possibly want. ive also listened to it quite a bit but im afraid its been outshined by some bm albums that dropped this year ☹️ some of my all time favorite bm bands released albums in 2024 so i could keep my focus on coup de grace for that long. i think my album of the year is definitely visual kill by saidan (not exactly something i think u’d like, theyre raw usbm), and some others i really loved are lust hag’s self titled & hulder’s verses in oath. outside of bm, some of my faves were alpha wolf’s half living things (so good it blew my tits clean off), 200 stab wounds’ manual manic procedures (goregrind, again not something i think u’d be into) & boundaries’ death is a little more. overall, i’d say sysc’s 2024 album was soooo groovy n amazing but it just happened to drop at a weird moment in my life where i got distracted by eight billion other bands 👍🏻 and let it be known 2024 is THE YEAR for music, i have so much stuff i havent mentioned on here but good LORD - 💿
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hiiii darling sorry i havent answered these earlier but i did dig into some of your earlier recs and obvs they were very cool so!! connie is my everythingggg truly woman of all time vocalist of all time. i have to get into some of her recs because im sureee she has good taste i can hear it all over her music... i listened to her hardlore ep and hearing about her experience in the hardcore scene im just :^) and its sooo real that coup de grace is different!! still so fucking good. the romance of affliction literally changed my life i get so happy whenever somebody else loves it <3333 and omg the courtney laplante feature made me SCREAMMM shes everything fr. and once again i know none of the bands u mentioned so ill dig into them this afternoon for sure!!
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blueiight · 1 year ago
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is this a safe space? im gonna bring up the antoinette thing. not necessarily the photos being taken from her ig and her going private bc you talked about that already and i agree but just how i don’t understand the response. they said that were going to revisit things that have happened along with what you said. it seems only natural that she would be a part of that to me. i don’t really understand the reaction i guess. or maybe i just saw a few people and most people are coolin. but i just feel like they are telling a story yall. let them. there’s so many scenarios where it makes sense the actress is there to me.
well what i & abnegative on twt thought was like.. louis has shown a propensity for states of mania & delirium.. the second cour of interview is the longest bender between 1860 -1970 everrr for lack of a better way to phrase it.
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in the show u have the state of mania he describes his past self being in
The state I was in, I was what... I was manic.
& louis does not describe this, but s1’s finale ends with louis in a disassociative episode in the present + shows us the meltdown he had over lestat’s ‘death’ before the armand reveal..
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people talked about louis having visions of lestat no problem which i imagine would require sam reid to film something, but the possibility of maura grace athari there to film louis’s visions of lestat’s side piece of a few odd decades cant be the end of the world. i mean who knows why athari’s even in prague.. what if shes on a regular vacay and this is all for nothing? lol. i imagine reactions could be the classic fujo impulse to react reflexively at a female character ‘breaking up’ the gay pairing mixed w/ the fact that antoinette as a character is in no small part a juxtaposition to louis as ive said before where antoine was essentially a parallel to louis (& later to nicki) and only was revealed to be around in the final book trilogy after all.. i can imagine some people under the assumption the show would do another fakeout w/ antoinette’s death but i dont think theres enough credence for that so far.. in fact making sure antoinette was dead seemed to be the one thing louis & claudia agreed upon in 1x07 lol but who knows man who knows. theres a lot they can do, but i dont think its fair to fall into camps of definitive much less even a paranoid line of speculation off one picture on a [private?] instagram. its summertime and prague’s a decent sized city that gets tourists🤷🏾
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abimee · 2 years ago
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i can start going crazy about how i personally didnt like dark knight and how my dislike for its themes and the way it handles it rubbed me wrong not necessarily because i think its written bad but that its just written under very specific circumstances requiring you to be a very specific person with a specific outlook and if you cant suspend to those needs for a second the entire story feels like youre getting words put into your mouth and expected to just walk along and nod to everything going on. instead of actually feeling part of the story. and how a lot of it just requests you not have a hand in it and just bakseat it like an out of body experience. and also ignoring some rather glaring faults to its own arguments but mostly i think i dont like it because im bipolar but explaining that is going to take a thesis length and also ive already had the conversation about its use of anger with a fellow #anger managerment issues bestie but all i can say is dark knight would be Even Better if you read it as a manic depressive episode where the struggling mind on a bender is imagining dead people as actually alive and engaging in persecution of the warrior of light because of their involvement or lack therefore of their death thats from their brain mentally projecting schemas and struggles into an ultimate self-inflicted harm. and the bipolars mind at war with itself and its own emotions and how it feels to lose control and both be so self aware while also feel like you dont know yourself. you ever seen next to normal
youtube
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mothmage · 9 months ago
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oversharing about my mental health bc i treat tumblr as my personal diary xoxo
i’m pretty sure ive been in a hypomanic episode for a Minute now, and i wasnt sure before bc i don’t think ive ever had hypomania before only mania? i think my new medications are working for once in my whole life bc for the past like. six months maybe? ive been So Normal and in the past few weeks i’ve definitely been on the up and up but it hasnt crossed into full mania, it’s literally just like. me but with energy and a little stupider than usual. and i understand how this can be disabling for some people, but considering that mania (for me) usually looks like weeks of deep psychosis, this shit is EXCELLENT. like yes im more reckless and hypersexual and wanting to spend all kinds of money and all that, but i also feel like im able t “moderate” that a little better because i had so many years of seemingly medication-proof manic episodes? i had to like, adapt lol. so i have some systems set in place to keep me from being too stupid especially with money. but like, i have all the energy of a manic episode and all the drive to Do Things with none of the “hearing the voice of god” or “im someone else and i stole this body and now am stuck in it”. like this shit rocks, i’ve gotten so much done! and i understand that there will be a comedown and it will suck or whatever but while im here?? like again i understand why this isnt a Good state of mind and i dont mean to invalidate anyone’s experience, but i think im just like. well if my mood disorder is going to disorder my moods regardless of what pills i take, i would much prefer it to sort of lessen the extent !! hypomania! and the only time i was on meds that worked 100% and got rid of any episodes entirely i got bored (lol) and got off of them (guy w the “stop taking my meds disorder”: hey what if i stopped taking my meds) so i think this is a good middle ground bc it’s like, life is still fun and exciting and doesnt feel static, but i also dont think im in danger of getting myself locked up lol or like, humiliating myself online or something (tumblr doesnt count bc it’s Faceless)
also probably the best time ever for this to happen bc im getting rejection letter after rejection letter from phd programs i applied to and im literally like “well it will all work out, like everything works out in the end one way or another” :) and i believe that! not necessarily that everything happens for a reason, but everything works out in the end one way or another
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kingofdandelions · 1 year ago
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Okay so I have already got brainrot for the faint music ear plugs looted one, so Imma write something for it
Whats happening?
My vision shows only a blur of colors and my head hurts. I vaguely remember being scared.
Oh.
I remember now.
The apocalypse has started
My shoes sound too loud as I stand up from the floor, but maybe thats just because everything else is so silent. Except for some faint singing. I can remember where I was before I woke up, but I am currently in an empty street. I don't feel hungry or thirsty, but it'll probably come sooner or later, so I start walking around to find water. Or food. Or people who can show me where to get either of those things. Or just a place to sleep as safely as you can in the apocalypse.
Where are all the people? I dont get it, its a none destroyed place so it should be filled with people. Most of the safe places to be are completely crowded, yet this one seems lifeless. Soundless. I cant see any birds. Or the sky. Its cloudy so I cant even use the sunset to navigate. I cant remember what way I came from. I cant remember much.
Did I hit my head? I must have.
Its evening, I think. I dont really know. I see a supermarket. Thats good, that means supplies and most likely people. Or traces that can lead me to people.
My ears are ringing. Or is that just a supermarket jingle, somehow still playing when the rest of the world has started to decay? Is it just me lossing my mind?
The aisles of food are suprisingly full. They look untouched. Paranoia starts to sink in as I check if anyone has taken some of the water. Nobody has. Thats a bad sign. Why haven't anyone been here? Why is there no sign of people at all? Someone has to have been here to restock all the fresh looking food.
I look around to see any traces of people. Any sign that anyone has ever been here. My steps are too loud. My breathing is too loud. My heartbeat is too loud. I search through the entire supermarket.
I feel scared. Its so silent. I would give anything for the sound of people talking in the distance. Are there even any people left? Am I the last one?
In the corner of my eye I notice that someone had taken something. I walk towards it. I hear a slight ringing in my ears as I realise that the only thing anyone has touched in this whole supermarket is the earplugs.
I dont understand it. My head hurts. Is someone doing this to psych me out? Why would the only thing missing be earplugs? I dont get it! How long have I been here, searching the supermarket for signs of people? How long have I been here? I want to ask someone. I want to know I'm not going insane. I need to know I'm not the last person on earth. I need to talk to another human.
Theres someone singing outside. Theres a person outside! There is a person there! Another person than me! I let out a laugh. It sounds manic, but i dont care. Im not alone. Theres someone there! I can hear them singing the same melody that Ive been hearing since I woke up. Theres another human!
I run towards the sound. Its more than singing, maybe a music box? I dont care. Theres a person and Im not going to be alone. I forget that its the apocalypse and I need to be careful to survive. I forget that music doesnt necessarily mean humans. Who cares about that anyways? I think about how better life will be when I reach whoever is playing. I wonder if they will teach me how to play whatever instrument they're playing. Thank god theres someone out here other than me.
I continue running to my death.
Enough random notes that have a written story on them as environmental storytelling, explore the space, get crazier with it.
You move into a house and aw cute, it has the kids height on the walls but you notice there's a three foot difference in height between measurements, you check the date, they're a month apart. The final measurement is on the ceiling. It's dated two days ago.
You're part of a recovery team that have finally found a stranded ship, they were found too late and have all passed a long time ago. They all died of starvation. You enter their storeroom, it's filled with food. In the dining hall you find the tables laden with perfectly fine looking breads, cakes, cured meats, jams, candies. Your medic says all the people sitting at the table didn't eat a Thing.
You wake up in an apocalypse. You can't find anyone at all as you wander the streets but you do hear faint music playing from somewhere. You stumble into a supermarket, to see all the aisles still full, except for the shelf that was full of ear plugs, which look to be the only thing that was looted.
Like there's light, sound, props. Having a street where every house is decimated except for One. Landing on a planet known for having No Water and a plant is growing and you don't know where it could have possibly gotten moisture from but you can't find the citizens Anywhere.
I'm sorry, I'm just kinda over the "graffiti on the wall to show the bad guy is around". That's not environmental storytelling that's just normal story. Show me I'm in the villains territory by the rain suddenly cutting out above me as I'm driving, even though it's meant to be raining all night. I park the car and step out, and realise the constellations are Wrong, until I see they're Not constellations, they're the blinking lights of a massive ship-
I Will stop now because everytime I go to write a sentence it devolves into another prompt but I'm just saying we have a Lot of senses, engage them, show me the Environment in environmental storytelling.
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mostlymaudlin · 2 years ago
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Hi!!! I adore your fics so much, will never stop gushing over your work. For the ask would you mind answering 5, 9, and/or 13 for Nothing Is Fine (my personal fave of your works)
fjrkgkrghd i adore YOU.
nothing is fine, my first andreil fic on ao3!! seems like so long ago and also just yesterday. i think it is almost a rite of passage for people who love writing andrew to take a stab at his POV in baltimore hahaha.
5: What part was hardest to write?
this whole fic was very hard for me to write because i was NERVOUS. i had been playing around posting little stuff here on tumblr, but this was the first time i was gonna like, throw something out into the andreil ao3 tag.
i really like writing canon-adjacent scenes, and i think in general what is hard about them is putting a spin on them so that they feel like they're doing something other than the original. for example, this fic mostly takes place in the hour or so before neil gets to the hotel. once neil arrives, the narration takes quite a few steps back, because the reader already knows what happened there. but everything else in the fic gives you the context for andrew's actions in that scene (according to me, lol). so, aside from my own anxiety, that is always the hardest part of this specific type of fic writing -- making choices that allow your retelling of a scene to feel original.
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
there were many moments where i wondered if i should tone andrew's ferocity down. i wrote most of this in one sitting, then took a week or two before finishing it, and in that time i read a lot of other andreil fic. i was new in the fandom, so i guess i was wondering how my take on andrew fit in alongside the general "fanon" of it all -- namely, andrew's stoniness in a lot of fic.
i decided to keep andrew extra feral, and im glad i did, because i still agree with myself lol. i think i set a tone for myself back then where i just let andrew have as unhinged of an inner monologue as possible, and that's what makes him so fucking fun for me to write. i wonder, if i had taken a different route in that fic, if i'd still be as hooked on writing andreil as i am now.
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
hmmmmm i dont think i had a specific playlist yet. but this is my general andreil playlist, and most of those songs i've considered to be andreil songs since i finished the series. if i had to pick one song for this fic in particular, it would be thunder clatter by wild cub -- it doesn't necessarily capture the manic energy of the fic, but it does kind of get at that bone-deep, "you're THE person and i dont know what to do without you" desperation that andrew feels.
Sad hopes I'd hidden under Tangled inside of me You spoke like broken thunder Deep into the centre of me
notably, though, i had NOT yet heard habit by spectre jones, which is the most andreil song to ever andreil. def accompanies this fic well, though!
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yikesharringrove · 5 years ago
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the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰
You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling
Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.
Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.
50: Secret Admirer
56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”
Prompt list!
Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.
There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.
Tweeting about Billy.
He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.
@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING
@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng
And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account
@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass
Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.
Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”
“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.
“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.
“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.
“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.
“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”
Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.
“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”
“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account
“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.
@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺
His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.
The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.
The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.
Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said
@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk
Friday afternoon gave them all:
@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE
But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.
He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.
@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.
@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC
@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois
@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)
@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥
He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.
He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.
The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.
Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.
@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo
Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.
He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.
“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.
“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.
“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”
“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.
“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.
“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.
“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.
“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.
“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.
“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.
Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.
“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”
“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”
It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.
The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.
@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks
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soundscapesystem · 4 years ago
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during my psych intake the doctor asked if i have nighmares (to rediagnose ptsd ya know cuz im in a New Place gotta get all new diagnoses ((((:) and instead of saying "yes" or "no" like a normal person i told him about a very detailed dream that felt it lasted a month and made me dissociate for a full day after and he was like "okay...well...the bipolar diagnosis is staying..."
apparently that whole session was him initially thinking i had bpd then my steadily more chaotically manic actions further proved i was genuinely bipolar over the course of an hour
i dont think hes going to rediagnose my DID but im really not that bothered by it, just mentioning it and he turned his nose up, he looked a little more convinced when i mentioned amnesia but we didnt dwell on that one long and he didnt mention it again, but i should only be at this clinic for like two or three months tops and when i get into therapy i mostly just need to talk about like Current Things not necessarily Deep Trauma or anything like that and system-wise were functioning pretty well
a looot of the system is dormant, its most just me (dave) and logan fronting these days, kai has been coconscious more often too which is frankly extremely comforting ngl, alex and lizzy are talkative near front without actually coming out just chatting and commenting which is also comforting, it feels like our system is going back into its normal stasis just with me as host which im still trying to get used to
a lot of our friends will still refer to us as logan and say things like "oh tell dave-" or "remember when dave-" and im like. thats me! im here! dont talk abt me in third person im literally right here like 75-90% of the time its ME!!! but i know theyre just all used to logan being host from before the mess with Batti and me and logan are extremely similiar esspecially online its basically impossible to tell us apart and its pretty rare we front totally solo without the other hanging around anyway so like
idk its just different and hard. theres so many decisions up to me and so much responsibility like i get why Kai has bought like fifteen planners and calendera and notebooks cuz i bought a daily schedule thenother day and was like. wow. my virgo is showing. but no its just like that when life is fucking like this
i think things should get better here soon tho. just two more days til i can get back on my meds and hopefully that settles my mania and gets my sleep back to normal. i hope shellys constant picking doesnt get much worse than it is. i hope we can get moved back home to our old job and live life normally again. i hope this relationship works out.
i just hope im doing whats best for us all. i hope im making the right choices,,,
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whookami · 5 years ago
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(Part 1/2) Follow up to your previous ask, what kind of roles do you wanna see Joe do in the future? Personally i prefer he does a variety of roles that are different from the light hearted way he plays Steve cause i wanna see his acting range, and i dont think the way the Duffers have dumbed down Steve to comic relief is gonna showcase that at all. I wanna see him try roles that are emotional/vulnerable in some way or even those that go into the intense unlikable villain category works for me.
(Part 2/2) thats why im curious to watch Spree because of how supposedly cringey, manic and unhinged his character is, cuz that would be different from the charismatic way he plays steve, and i've also heard critics comparing his character to the protagonists in Joker, American Psycho, Nightcrawler etc. but i dont wanna assume anything until i see the movie myself.
First, I could not agree more about Spree. That’s why I wanna see it so bad too. It’s something so totally different from what we’ve seen from Joe so far. I also love schlocky horror and dark satire, so it’s right up my alley in numerous ways.
Now, the roles I would like to see Joe do...some of these are like, weirdly specific, and some are just a general idea. What I want the most is actually probably the one closest to Steve, in that I want him to play a dude who is charming and suave on the outside and seems like the perfect guy, the perfect boyfriend, all that stuff, but in private is super emotionally manipulative and abusive, not necessarily physically, but in every other way. I want to see him just fitting into his gf’s family, her friends all love him, he’s just too good to be true because he really is. He gaslights his gf, makes her dependent upon him, just really destroys her life. Not because I like any of those things in real life, but it would really be fascinating to watch Joe, who is literally so charismatic the Duffers couldn’t kill his character off like they planned, playing someone who goes to the darkest extreme of how charming people can manipulate those around them.
Next, fatherhood. Sure, as Steve he’s pretty much adopted a flock of kids (more so in fanon than canon, but fanon is often way better for exploring these relationships). But Joe playing a young dad who wasn’t expecting the responsibility, who sort of accidentally wound up in that situation, struggling with trying to help raise a kid and not lose who he thought he was as a person, but finding himself changing and growing now that he has another life he has to nurture and protect? I want him going from a really irresponsible guy who makes a drunken mistake and then has to live up to the consequences, seeing the anger, the depression, the resentment, and through the experience comes to understand love and himself on a deeper level. Having a kid isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, especially when it’s completely accidental, there are a host of other emotions, many of them pretty ugly, that can be involved and I’d love to see Joe explore that.
Third, I wanna see him play a junkie. Someone who had a bright future and had his life pretty much planned out on a perfect trajectory, but at some point in college the pressures got to him and he would just casually take a little bit of something, to help him stay awake, to help his brain to fire on all cylinders, and it gets away from him. Eventually instead of it being a ‘now and then, when I really need it’ sort of thing it becomes almost daily and he loses out on his scholarship, his life begins to unravel, his desperation as he tries to fight alone but can’t help himself and just watching helplessly as things spiral beyond control, before finally giving in to the idea that he can’t do it by himself and has to go back home as a ‘failure’ and admit the truth because he’s been lying to his loved ones back home, and then watching him slowly be built back up, struggling daily and sometimes cracking under the pressure, but slowly step by step getting there with the support of family even though he lied to them and stole money for drugs and all that terribly painful guilt.
Finally, just because I love angst, I want him to play someone diagnosed with a terminal illness. I love crying at movies, I really do. My friends seem to find it amusing how often and easily movies make me tear up, but to me it’s a sign that a movie was being genuine and connected to me on an emotionally honest level!
So, these are just four of the roles I would love to see him try, because they each explore some really varied emotions and would really stretch his talents to some pretty different extremes. All of them do make use of his natural charm in some form, whether making it duplicitous in nature or not, but then take that base and either break it down or cause him to go through some form of disruptive life experience that challenges the true mettle of these characters. Is it weird that most of these are really really specific? Oh well. Hope you found my answers interesting. I’d love to hear what roles others would like to see him tackle!
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tessacxstello · 5 years ago
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hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!
pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD). 
tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder
art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting
the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina
fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars
embodies pure sunshine. 
one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin. 
cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down 
has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.
her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.
knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat
still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship
very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)
tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor. 
the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for
and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child  tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap. 
her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest. 
an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet
very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice. 
feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.
says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.
had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario
aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.
studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope
gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko
on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening
she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year
she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.
very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af
pinterest board.
STATS
age: 22
height: 5'2"
positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.
negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.
distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).
skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.
likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.
fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.
nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.
alignment: Neutral Good
MBTI type: INFP
BIOGRAPHY
tw school shooting
Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.
It started with a turkey baster.
Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.
Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.
On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.
It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.
THE PRESENT:
Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.
PERSONALITY:
If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life. In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.
TWITTER:
@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men
@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.
@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
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emi1y · 2 years ago
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Good Morning Everyone its been an exciting twelve hours since this album came out here are some of my thoughts on it
my impression after finishing it for the first time was that i wish they hadn't released the songs they did as singles bc it kind of felt like uh whatever the opposite of burying the lede would be. as in, nothing new as of today tops the songs i already got to hear ahead of time to me.
that said, it's definitely a grows on you type of album. i didn't Not like any of the songs either and in the five times ive listened to the album so far there were no songs that i felt like skipping which is pretty rare for me ! the more i listen to it the more i pick up on the aspects of each song that i enjoy.
overall i think its a much more approachable album for people who are put off by the intensity of the band. for anyone who's more into rock than they are into metal, this album and we are not your kind are really good intros bc they are a lot more melodic and cohesive and have less of the general chaos within their earlier music. dont get me wrong i am a big fan of the chaos and i found this album a bit lacking in that regard—there wasn't really any Super Hype Manic High Energy songs, which yeah i do kind of miss, but also that just wasn't what this album was about. ive read corey saying that tonally this album is more of a follow up to vol. 3 which is the album ive listened to the least so i think i might appreciate this one more if i go back and listen to that album
everything ive read the band saying about this album was right on the money too, like right off the bat they talked about how they couldve easily done more catchy hits but that they wanted to explore new sounds and ideas so i feel like my expectations were set up well. and while th sound isn't necessarily as up my alley as some of their other music, im still a little biased in favor of it bc ive read so many interviews of corey saying he really enjoys exploring the new direction the bands been taking and thats enough to make me more receptive to it lmao
IN SUMMARY i was not particularly wow-ed right out of the gate but i think all of the songs have a lot of potential and a person who has been playing the same slipknot songs on loop for the better part of a year now, im excited to have any new songs to add into the mix at all. love and light 💕
HI HELLO HELLO HELLO HI HI HI HI HI
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estewart810 · 5 years ago
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iso 400,20mm,f/3.5,1/100th
For this photo I was telling a story about someone going through a manic episode, and I liked this location and the lighting in the trees. Once I brought it into lightroom , I  was frustrated to see im not in focus. but I did have a hard time getting myself in focus with a self timer on the camera. I dont necessarily think it ruins this picture and kind of adds a feeling that something is off.
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gallifvrey · 7 years ago
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alright here we go
(i am finally calm enough that i can express my thoughts in words instead of high pitched screaming)
i really, really loved that episode. i thought it was a spectacular end, it frankly went above all of my expectations. the ending w bill was very, very cliche but it was such a nice subversion of tropes, i thought it was really nice and good and i really did like it a lot
the beginning was really good - i liked the two regenerations of the master working together against the doctor (i am def. gonna talk more abt missy later tho) and bill coming back to save the doctor was, really great imo. 
i really liked nardole in this episode, he was a lot more than the comic relief that he had been kinda portrayed as in the previous episodes, and i thought that was really nice, i liked how his hacking skills were utilized in a way that made sense and i liked how he wasnt fazed by anything. he managed to be a funny character while still being a very critical one, 
i thought the master and missy talking and stuff was really interesting, i really really enjoyed their relationship and i thought it was great
i loved the doctor and bill talking. i wanted her to fight him, i wanted her to be human and he woke up and i wanted her to just punch him, to make him apologize for leaving her, for chattering on while she waited for him, because thats what he did. he didnt run down as soon as he realized what was happening (and you know he realized really quickly - he couldve just explained it on their trip down, he didnt have to spend all that time drawing diagrams). i was annoyed and i felt angry on bills behalf i guess that she wasnt able to get angry at him, that she couldnt yell at him like she (and i) wanted to. i almost hope she’ll come back bc i want her to talk abt this with the doctor, but you know, i dont think theyve ever really done that so im not too shocked
i didnt love missy. ive said this a lot before and ill probably keep saying it but i keep thinking that missys redemption arc is... a bit forced. ive been rewatching the previous episodes in the 12th doctor with missy and i realize now that she was moving towards being a “better” person, specifically in regards to the doctor (she didnt want to kill him at every step necessarily), but this whole thing still seems very forced to me, at least. imo the idea of her suddenly standing with the doctor was a bit strange. i havent seen the old episodes so maybe this is some kind of characterization that ive missed, and i know ive only been exposed to an unusually dark and manic version of the master but i liked where she was, i liked how maybe they werent enemies but they were opposites in a way (i think she peaked in the magicians apprentice tbh - that was i think as ~good~ as the master should get, as a character. likes the doctor but has complete disregard for anyone else. her standing with the doctor to save a bunch of people she doesnt know was definitely a weirdly out of character moment, at least to me)
idk maybe i just like watching the doctor suffer (is that weird? probably right?)
i thought her and the master stabbing each other in the back very literally was a good choice, it was interesting to see how the master regenerated, and im interested in how theyre gonna bring the master back (bc i will not believe that they actually killed her off)
the ending, i thought, was so good. i remember reading a thing a while ago about how moffat likes to write his episodes in a very fairytale-like way, and the ending definitely reflected that. i LOVED that bills girlfriend (bc i dont know her name , sry ) showed back up. i loved that so much, i loved how she brought her back to life and made her not a cyberman anymore, and how theyre traveling the universe together. i loved that! them like facing each other and then simultaneously turning and facing out the door and then holding hands and leaving was.. really cliche and seemed a bit silly but you know, ill take it (the gays in space was great), and the bit w bill crying on top of the doctor and then saying “when theres tears, theres hope” or something was also a lot but also sweet, and ill take it bc i was so emotional by that point in the episode i needed something that was stupidly sweet
AND THEN! AFTER THEY LEAVE!! THATS WHEN IT ENDED!! the montage of the companions saying doctor! just i cried!! this was the beginning of my descent, i was ready to depart and then it just ! kept getting worse! i keep talking abt how much i wish they made references to the old seasons (ex. when clara had to lose her memories for the doctor to say like, ive done this before and i hated it) but then all the sudden they did and i was ! not prepared! bc then he goes “i dont want to go” and like, there went my consciousness and boy was i glad that i was watching this w my family who wouldnt judge me bc i was not being rational
and then “when the doctor was me” like i didnt even realize he said that at first honestly i was so caught up in him saying i dont want to go and being emotional bc of that that i couldnt.. handle it, and him refusing to regenerate was so sad!! it was so much like 10 and 10s was the saddest regeneration i couldnt handle it!!! i am not prepared for this christmas special!!! !!!!!!
in conclusion, i loved the episode and am not ready to have my heart ripped out when it comes to the christmas special
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kendrixtermina · 8 years ago
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Oldham Personality Styles/Traits Test Results
(Clicky Clicky)
For comparision, here’s my results from other typology systems: INTP (LII-Ne), 5w4 sp/sx (548), RULAI, Chaotic Neutral, Lunar, Melancholic, Ravenclaw, Horned Serpent
Idiosyncratic types are tuned in to and sustained by their own feelings and belief systems, whether or not others accept or understand their particular worldview or approach to life. They are self-directed and independent, requiring few close relationships. Though they are inner-directed and follow their own hearts and minds, Idiosyncratic men and women are keen observers of others and particularly sensitive to how other people react to them. They tend to question common beliefs and expectations. They are highly spiritual and do not close their minds to any possibility, always asking what if?' They tend to have a deep inner life, act eccentrically, and live in their own world. They may be interested in the occult or the supernatural and are drawn to abstract and speculative thinking. Fitting into everyday, conventional life can be difficult for Idiosyncratic people. Others may view them as strange, which can be a problem in jobs and relationships. They must live life their own way and sometimes regret they cannot do things in the orthodox fashion. The pressure to conform presents intolerable stress for them. Two key factors affect the quality of Idiosyncratic lives: whether they can find an accepting environment and how well they adapt to others' expectations. Few work settings tolerate eccentricities of behavior, unless the individual has a great deal to offer by way of intelligence or talent. Some Idiosyncratics do well with one ear tuned in to their own personal worlds and one outward to what the boss expects of them. Others, however, have a hard time understanding or accepting authority. Idiosyncratic people do not need other people to give their lives direction or meaning. If they can't find partners who accept their unconventionality, they usually do well on their own. Some are content to experience several relationships in their lives without necessarily finding their one and only.
Everything except the superstitions bit (I’m actually an atheist), though I did have an esoteric phase in my teens and enjoy mythology and random speculation (as just that, stories)
Solitary types have little need of companionship and are most comfortable alone. They do not need interaction with others to enjoy life. Self-possessed and self-controlled, these individuals are alone because they want to be alone, not because they feel left out. Free of the passionate need for others, they can be quite content standing back and watching others. Indeed, they are often gifted observers of nature and of other people. Emotionally, highly Solitary people are even-tempered, calm, dispassionate, unsentimental, and unflappable. They display an apparent indifference to pain and pleasure and are not driven by sexual needs. They are not greatly influenced by either praise or criticism. They function well at work. They get down to work quickly and don't spend much time fraternizing at the water cooler. While they usually do not do well within the political framework of larger companies, when left alone to do their work, they can put their mind to it with unusual concentration. Solitary individuals can be content within relationships as long as their partner accepts their need for solitude. However, even moderately Solitary people may not intuitively comprehend others' feelings or respond to their emotional cues. 'You don't love me!' is a common lament of partners of Solitary people. The more the partner pushes for emotional reactions and a depth of intimate feeling, the greater the stress on the Solitary person. To cope, he or she will retreat. The partner would be better off recognizing signs of caring that are different from the usual I-want-you, I-need-you, l-love-you's.
Ugh that last paragraph, that exact same relationship problem. I don’t often hear the concept of “So introverted even your loved ones sometimes stress you out” in a way that doesn’t conflate it with misanthropy. Like I don’t want to make anyone feel bad or ignored (thats a horrible thing to do) but im not good at this. 
I wouldn’t describe myself as self-controlled or good-at-work (probably due to other traits in the mix) though I can concentrate when the time & subject are right. (otherwise im more on the distractable side tho. or it depends on what it is.) I distinctly remember taking some test/assesment and getting a high score specifically for concentration, i think it was the highest overall (the lowest was motor function. 11 year old me could not catch a ball to save her life.)
As a child or teen I would often start reading at noon and be so concentrated on the book I’d fail to notice the passage of time until my mom came in to get me for supper and asked why I hadn’t turned the light on. 
I don’t think I’m unflappable at all but again it depends on what and the situation and i dont really know what others see, like, I obviously know I have feels but its my own head. 
Serious types are solemn and not given to emotional expression. They are realistically aware of their own capabilities but they are also aware of their limitations. They are not tempted by vanity or self-importance. They hold themselves responsible for their actions. They=re thinkers, analyzers, evaluators, ruminators and will always play things over in their minds before they acting. Serious individuals anticipate problems and when the worst happens, they=re prepared to deal with it. Serious individuals are realists. They see the hard, harsh nature of life clearly. They have no illusions and are incapable of imagining a silver lining. They are no-nonsense people particularly suited to hard times, when their ability to push on can help everyone to survive. They always work hard and provide for others without any sense of heroism or pride in their efforts. Even though they can seem joyless, Serious types are not necessarily unhappy. They take great satisfaction in their view of the universe. They are interested in serious subjects, which they find reassuring, and they find no need to escape into pleasure. Serious people are intensely hard workers, dependable, and trustworthy. They persevere whether or not they are enthusiastic or well rewarded. This can make it all too easy for employers to take advantage of them. They do not expect encouragement or to be treated well by others. Although they are not socially outgoing, once they do connect with others they form very stable, long-term attachments. They tolerate the rough spots in relationships well. They are as critical of others as they are of themselves, but their fault-finding gives them no pleasure. They deeply regret causing any pain . Others who continually insist that they change into optimistic outgoing, happy-go-lucky people cause them great stress but their characteristic cynicism helps them to cope.
ARGH  that “I’d rather see the world as it is than sugercoat it for feelgoodsyness” thing can be so hard to explain to people. I try to be realistic about my abilities & place in the world and aspire toward realism. (and when I’m already stressed out optimism will only serve to make me feel pissed or misunderstood. Unfortunately my mom is the exact opposite, leading to a few regrettable outbursts and isunderstandings, though not major ones. )
The work ethics part doesn’t really apply tho.
Conclusion: Ugh I am such an INTP 5.
I also scored somewhat high for ‘Leisurely’ (Fuck authority sweetheart ~ ) and ‘Vigilant’ (Yay self-sufficiency, though it’s more a horizon to strive for than something I’ve fully realized yet)
That was the 14 trait model tho, the 16 trait one also has this:
Artistic
·                   Mood swings. Shifts from a moderately upbeat, outgoing, creative character to a withdrawn and sullen depressive one. When in a high state, they can be highly productive, original, humorous, and engaging. During a low state they become self-absorbed, pessimistic, apathetic, and may resort to substance abuse. The mood swings happen regularly in cycles, are similar to bipolar (manic-depression) disorder, but not as extreme in the polarity, and also the mood changes in the Artistic personality are usually more so the result of within the person and not triggered by external circumstances.
·                   Artistic inclinations. People of this style often involve themselves in some sort of creative output. They may go into a state of inspiration where artistic production is strong then fall into an apathetic daze, where it becomes difficult, almost unbearable to create art. Since they have a grasp on many corners of the human personality, they have an advantage at expressing the nuances of a particular viewpoint. Many of the world's great artists have had this character style.
·                   Unpredictability. They may take up new plans, jobs, residences, etc. out of impulse. They despise routine and love improvising, stimulation, and new experiences.
·                   Feeling-oriented. Their impulses and feelings control their lives and dictate their appearance and decisions. They rarely make decisions through a systematic, logical follow-through approach but instead base it on their current mood.
·                   Relationship difficulties. Relationships can be trying for these people. They may become promiscuous, unfaithful, or difficult to handle.
·                   Low self-control. They have a difficulty saying "no" to themselves with their appetite. They may go on shopping sprees, binge on food or drink, give into sexual compulsions, etc. Afterwards, they may feel guilty about it and restrict themselves from pleasure.
·                   Shaky self-confidence. Can swing from delusions of grandeur and superiority, and feeling very confident in oneself, to a loss of self-esteem and hopeless despair.
Aaah now here’s a place for my inner emo child and inner gushy nerd fangirl to find a home. I’d wedge it in lower than ‘Idiosyncratic’ but higher than serious. It actually coexists with the above stuff surprisingly well (It’s called “TiNe” or “5w4″)
On the positive, this personality test is the first (except maybe Divergent, but the tests do give me Erudite nearly as often as Candor depending on how absolute the questions are worded. ) to refrain from outright calling me a NEEERD.
So, thanks oldham? 
Also, now I know the precise kind mad I might end up as if I happened across severe trauma, brain chemistry goof-ups or lovecraftian abominations (Please let it be the latter). That is one interesting tidbit of information.  
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Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
"Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
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I don't really have crooked teeth. My bottom teeth are straight... and my top teeth look straight from a frontal shot, but in reality one of my canine teeth is a little higher and outward then the rest. I want to straighten that one out. How much do braces cost without insurance? in cash! thakns""
""Guy at school hit my car, pocketing the insurance money?""
A guy at my college hit my car the other day, and the (lowest) estimate was $1,029. I only paid $1,650 for the car, so it feels like $1k is a little to much for a dent. However, I could really use the money because I just got laid off, have bills, and I'm running low on money. I know I am entitled to this money, but it be wrong to get it and then use it for bills? His dad asked me to do a $500 settlement without insurance, but I know I can get the $1,029. I really do need the money. Ethically, would it be wrong of me to do this?""
How much does a semi truck insurance cost?
Hi I'm thinking to have a truck. I want to know about the costs. Please, help me. I want to know about cost of a semi truck like insurance and ... How much does a truck driver pay for insurance. Thank you""
Average cost for house insurance for a trailer? (VA)?
My husband and I have been renting for years and are looking to purchase a single-wide trailer as a starter home. We're looking at 2009 models under $50,000. I've googled myself to death and can't find an idea of what our monthly insurance cost would be. Just a rough estimate would be nice, so we can continue with our budgeting. Thank you!""
I am trying to get health insurance however I do not have a home base with my job?
I contantly move from one place to another after only a month or a few. Does anyone know if there is any company that can cover someone like me who moves from state to state? The company I have spoke to said they only cover someone in one state and when you leave the state you only would get covered for emergency situations.
Since car insurance is required?
and for many car ownership is not an oppition, should car insurance be on a sliding scale?""
Types of car insurances?
types of car insurances available?
Whats the best insurance for my 2 month old Maltese/Yorkshire terrier puppy?
hes about 2.5 months old and hes half maltese have yorkshire terrier ...does anyone have any idea on what would be the best insurance suited for him?>
Proof of Insurance?
I just bought a car yesterday and I know that before I drive it off the lot I need proof of insurance, What exactly to I need to show them in order to take the car home with me .... keep in mind that my printer is out of ink, and I would like to take it home today if possible""
Will my insurance go up?
I recently got a speeding ticket and y parents are going to kill me. I need to know of my insurance will go up. I'm only 16 and we have State Farm Insurance and the insurance is liability. It is in the state of Tennessee. I really need to know if the insurance is going to come up or if I can just pay it of without my parents knowing.
What is the cost of premium insurance for 2003 pontiac vibe driven by a female only insured driver.?
What is the cost of premium insurance for 2003 pontiac vibe driven by a female only insured driver.?
Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
Can you sell a car without insurance?
Hi all, Right, i want to sell my car. I have cancelled my car insurance and the car is parked on Private Land (off-road). The car DOES have valid TAX & MOT. If a potential buyer wants to view/test drive my car, will he be allowed to drive the car on the public road? As i have no insurance, would his Fully Comp cover my car to 3rd Party? The buyer will only be driving it for about 10-15 minutes. Thanx in advance!""
""I've got a '74 Dodge Avco RV, how much would it cost for insurance?""
It's 28 footer. And maybe if you knew how much it would cost for tires and even a lube and tune, i would appreciate it!""
I have no insurance how much does it cost to fix a broken windshield (the back windshield).?
I have no insurance how much does it cost to fix a broken windshield (the back windshield).?
GMAC Auto Insurance Experience?
Anyone have GMAC auto insurance? If you do, please share your experience on how they apply discount and handle claims. I ask around for quotes online and the 2 insurance that gave me good quotes are Wawanesa and GMAC. Both seems to be good company but I would like to get some input from my fellow yahoo users. I currently have Allstate but their prices keeps going up instead of going down for all the discounts they put on my record ie. good driver, Home Owners, multiple policy and renewal. I ask the agent every renewal but they keep telling me that the insurance rate is going up in California which I doubt should happen every 6 months. Please no advertisement.""
Can I drive this car without insurance?
So i just bought a new 350z model 06 from someone and i was wondering if i can drive it for couple of days. I live in California, near oakland and san jose. I heard people telling me that when u buy a new/used car u can drive it for 15-30 days without insurance. If someone knows a link to some stuff about this please tell me :D Thanks.""
Why is my car insurance so high?
I have full coverage insurance on my 2005 Honda civic and I am paying a little over $850 every six months. Every quote I get isn't much better. Why is it so expensive? My insurance lady says that it's because I am a young driver with a newer car. But my YOUNGER sister has a car 2 years newer than mine and she pays about $350 less every six months. I have no tickets on my record. I did have my license suspended about 5 years ago. Why is it so expensive and how can I get it down? I can't afford this sh* t. Thank you!
""Wrecked best friends car, no license, I'm uninsured, 18 and terrified! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!?""
So, I am 18, and yesterday my cousin was planned to come in from the UK at the Sky Harbor Airport in, Arizona. On my way there I was driving at a close speed limit of 50, speed limit was 45, approaching a red light, I was slowing down, when something abruptly ran across the road, close to the car, causing me to slam on the breaks, losing control of the wheel, and I tumbled 4 times over the street, busting the side window, scraping some paint, and cracking the windshield. Thankfully, I was not hurt, no neck, back, leg, or any body injuries for that matter. The police was near by, so helped me out, firefighters took care of me, to make sure I was okay. And then the report happened. I told them the honest truth, they said that I won't be arrested, or given a ticket, but I do have to go to court to prove I had no insurance. I don't know what to do, I know it was completely idiotic driving without a license, and no permit, with no insurance, but my friend has insurance on the car. I have the police report, and I don't know what I have to do, but I will help him with anything as this is my best friend, and I am not straying away from this situation. Will his insurance cover this? Do I look okay is this situation? PLEASEEEE! Someone help me! I'm desperate for advice, I've definitely learned my lesson, and I have no family here in Arizona as they are all in Georgia, I am here for school at ASU, please tell me his insurance will cover this!""
Where can i get cheap car insurance?
im driving a six years old Saab aero convertible.and on red 'p' and im 26yrs old.i was told i have to pay near $5000 a year .is there any other way to get around it?
Can i register a car under my name even though it will be under my parents insurance?
i wanna get a car but i cant afford insurance at this time, my parents said it might be cheaper to just add my car to there insurance but can i still register the vehicle under my name?""
Does anybody have Affordable Health Care benefits for individuals and the entire family?
Are you or your family looking for affordable Premier Health Care Savings Plan with up to $2,000 Accident Coverage with only $100 Deductible(on or off the job at school or at play)You ...show more""
How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?
How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?
What is the best insurance for a new driver?
Im 18 and just got my license in october 2013. I bought a 1992 honda civic and I dont know what insurance is best for me. What do you guys suggest? I live in orange county, if that helps haha thanks!""
I have cancelled my car insurance?
I have cancelled my car insurance for my old car , because I have bought a new car . . . Now I am waiting to sell it , but I don't know where I should keep it . . Is there any problems if I'll leave in front of my house in the car park without a insurance ? Thank You""
I have a question about a car wreck and insurance?
I got rear-ended the other day and it's the first time I've ever been in an accident. I got an estimate and it was $1800 dollars. I paid $800 for the car! I have heard of people using the money for other things, I was wondering can I just keep the money and sell the car and maybe buy a new one, or do I have to have it fixed at the place I got the estimate at? I'm also wondering if there is anything I should look out for as far as crafty insurance people? He's coming to inspect the car tomorrow. Thanks for your reply.....""
Will filing a claim raise both insurance rates?
I just got in a car accident and my car is pretty messed up in the front. However, the truck's rear bumper only has a few scratches on it and it was my fault. If he decides to file a claim, will his insurance rates go up also?""
Can I drive my car while waiting to get my tags and insurance?
I just recently (like today) bought a car from a private party, and I don't have insurance yet. I have to get my insurance over the phone, but I don't know if they'll take ...show more""
What is the cheapest way for me to get car insurance?
So I am in a bit of a pickle. I was fortunate enough for my mom to buy me car. However, I need to pay for insurance. She has an insurance company but I am not allowed to be added on it until I am 21, because her car is a company car and has special insurance. So I cannot be added under her. So what is the cheapest way to insure my new car. Do my own insurance and pay a lot more $$. Or have her do another insurance on this car and add me as a secondary driver. Although, we would both be paying insurance and I am the only one driving. Bit it would pretty much cost the same. What do I do to get a cheap insurance company and how! NOTE: Please do not leave a link and say go to this website (They never work, take forever, need all this info, and some cost money) Also dont say call an insurance company. For now just please give me advice. Thanks (:""
What is the cheapest DUI insurance in california for a male when i become 18?
I just want liability for other drivers and i will get a crappy car so i dont need coverage for it. & I am 17 now. Am i able to get insurance if i don't have someone 18 or older sign for it? any ideas? Thank you
Car insurance when go to college?
i'll be living in the dorm for college this fall, and my parents decide to cut my car insurance since i only come home for thanksgiving(7 days), winter break(1 month), spring break(10 days), and summer(2 months). is it possible to buy insurance temporarily for those breaks that i come back? thanks""
""If I get a car registered to me, can I still be on my parents insurance?""
does it make sense,like I want the title to it, but still want to be on their insurance. It wouldn't seem like my car if they had both the tittle and insurance with me as a secondary driver!""
Insurance help please?
When buying car insurance, I'm looking at fully comprehensive what is volentary and compulary excess? Hwta do these amounts mean. Also, my car got broken into twice this year and my partner was in an accident so we have a LOT of claims... Any tips for keeping my insurance down? Im trying all of the search engines, but this is busting my brain!!""
""What will insurance cost me on a 1977 corvette, or even a 1988 corvette?""
I'm a 16 year old male, new driver, and my mom wont allow me to get this corvette which is at a great price of 4,000. She says the insurance will be to high, is this true?""
Can paying monthly for car insurance increase credit score?
I was just wondering if I pay my monthly insurance bill if my credit score would go up? I am trying to build my credit score after having a real bad score. I know that if you have a recurring payment it will increase the score, but does that include car insurance? I have the money to pay my insurance for the year all at once (birthday present) but if it helps my score to pay monthly, I'll just keep the money in my account and pay monthly. Thanks!""
Does car insurance cover only one car per policy?
Like, if I had many cars, would the policy cover all those cars for one fee or would I have to get insurance for each car? I feel like each policy only covers one car but I'm not for sure which is why I'm here. And if there is such a car insurance that covers x amount of cars for one fee, let me know. Thanks for taking the time to answer this.""
Taxes on insurance?
My sister passed away in a plane crash and the plane was insured. If the insurance company wrote me a check for $50,000 how much should I be expecting to pay in taxes? I'm so confused....""
Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
Phoenix Arizona Cheap car insurance quotes zip 85017
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