#i think ill be able to do it now that ive done 2 though

[orcelito]

I guess I should start looking into apartments for next year. I don't know where I'm going to be working after I graduate yet, but I'll have a car by then, so it shouldn't matter too much. And I'm hesitant to move when I don't know where I'm going to end up... but I will be honest, I cannot live in this place for another year. They've increased the rent by a literal 50% since I started living here 3 years ago, the air conditioning doesn't work, I have to do laundry by *coin operation*, and worst of all there is no patio or balcony to speak of. I need outdoor seating!!! For my mental health!!!! Adding in the fact that it's far too cramped with all the furniture I got from my dad...

Yeah. Even if I only live there for a year, I Got to move.

Gonna be working on sorting through all the shit in my apartment, especially the boxes from my dad. Once I get a car, I wanna make it my personal project in the next year to cut down on the shit that I own. Go through my old clothes and donate anything that I Never wear and Never would. The goal being that by the time I do move, I want there to not be a fucking boatload of shit to move. There's still all this furniture but like. Eh. Ya kno. Still wanna make it better than it could be.

[nexttothelamp]

.....

[sugar-omi]

as a black girlie i wanna ramble ab how cove would be w a black s/o

he don't know nothing bout no 2 step ‼️‼️ tried ONCE and literally fell over (don't worry baby i can't do it either)

we ardy know he loves to eat, but i think he really hankers down on some soul food. put bro in front of some collard greens, baked mac n cheese and chicken and he's SET. you seen that one tiktok of the guy on thanksgiving w his black gf and his face was all in the plate? that's cove

OMG OMG HELPS YOU DO YOUR HAIR AND DECIDE YOUR NEXT STYLE IF YOU'RE INDECISIVE LIKE ME

i could ramble more but idk if you'll relate or like... enjoy it so imma stop here ;-;

OMG YES PLEASE IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS TOO

I do relate on the hair front (we eat like basic trash americans over here I'm ngl 💀💀💀) but like put down anything in front of cove?? he's devouring it, he won't even ask what it is he just knows it smells good n tastes even better

IVE SEEN RHAT VIDEO YOURE TALKING ABT AGES AGO N I MEANT TO SHARE IT if I find it ill add the link

I SAW ANOTHER ONE TOO the guy had sauce all over his face n he was just eating w his hands (he had like a thing of ribs or smth w a bone so that made sense lmao)

but lkke he abandoned all civilty, man's was gonna eat n he was gonna do it EFFICIENTLY it was so sweet, he even thanked her mom like 😭😭😭

I couldn't help laughing it was too funny n so cute man's was actually in heaven

but ykw every video I've seen of someone eating soul food, they devour it omfg

i saw one woman cooking for her Korean in laws n the parents had a little bit of everything n were in awe watching her cook n they. threw. DOWN

I just know they went back home a couple pounds heavier bc that food did look good af

BUT I CONSTANTLY THINK ABT COVE DOING YOUR HAIR

now I don't have very course hair, my hair is 3B but reallyyyy thick. like my classmate even said I have more edges than people have hair, which is rlly funny

but before I cut my hair it was like down to my butt, and now that I've been able to take care of it its gotten thicker

so imagine making cove detangle and wash your hair n put in product n braid it for you.

like especially when my hair was long, I wished someone would just come do my hair bc it's such a strain on my arms

so imagine cove sitting in the bathroom or in the tub w you to help with your routine, and he's so gentle that depending on your hair type you gotta tell him to be a bit rougher bc he's not getting the job done

he's just so afraid of ruining your hair or smth pls hes very paranoid rn💀😭

better to start with him putting in your products and letting him comb out your hair once you're done w detangling n stuff like that

omg he does help take your braids out

I braided my hair into micro braids n please.... I was ready to cut at the root bc that was irritating to take out. I was combing my hair n almost snatching my head off my shoulders bc I missed a braid 🪦🪦🪦

his braids are so bad omfg.... there's definitely pieces of hair sticking out

eventually though I think he becomes so good at it and before you know it he's a braid master !!

also yeah there isn't a dancing bone in his body but ykw he's gonna learn at least one move!!!!

imma have to find it but there's this old dude that rlly buckled down on one move n that's so cove I think

yout family definitely keeps pulling him in to dance and he just cant keep up.... that's the white in him /j

[rottytops]

squid thoughts after finalfest...

readmore bc i dont think anyone cares or even knows who runs this blog anymore but anyways

squids huh...........i have such a weird and intimate relationship with splatoon, i was SO into it when s1 came out i literally wouldnt shut up about it, i was on fucking. SQUIDBOARDS everyday pre-release sucking up all the info i could on splats, and i played it to absolute death too. at the end of s1 for final fest i was in a really weird housing situation bc i was leaving college and my like 2 month lease at my apartment i couldnt afford was running out, but i dont think i had a tv or something? so i had to use the apartment's like...public office room to play that final fest at like 2AM (i was team marie of course)

then splat 2 happened and i think splatoon was like, my entire life for several years no joke. i fell into a big splatoon community, got really into making splatoon art and OCs, had tons of splat friends, it was kind of a whirlwind. splatoon was the launching pad i used to get into freelancing commissions which is really funny in retrospect because i could not and still cannot figure out how to draw the inkling mask to save my life.

those were really really fun days and i still consider 2 the peak of my interest in the series as well as my favorite splat game + idol group, the good days in my splat fanbse didnt last forever though since my mental health and the difficulties of freelancing ate me alive in a way that im only just now recovering from, but that doesnt tarnish the memory or anyhting, the friends i made during s2's run are some of the closest ive ever had and im still with them even today, so i guess in a way splatoon 2 affected my life in a way only comparable to like...the disgaea series which is REALLY SAYING SOMETHING

but that brings me to 3 which is definitely when i fell off of the splat boat and wanted to move on. to be honest a lot of drama happened post 2's end that made me not wanna look at splat 3 at all but of course i caved and bough it anddddddd barely even played it, lol...i missed a ton of the catalog battle pass things and didnt feel the need to play that much, i didnt even get side order until like 2 months ago... it makes me sad to think that something so important to me is just not quite for me anymore, even if i love it dearly, part of that i think is just ive accepted im REALLY BAD AT SHOOTERS no matter what. a million hours in 1 and 2 and my aim is still super bad, i was able to get all X rank in S2 but in S3 i can barely land my shots or use my brella and had to swap to the 52 gal...its embarassing! i think id get really into a splatoon RPG or something, so maybe they just need to make a splatoon spinoff for me to get absurdly hooked to it but for now im pretty content closing a book on playing the games

but man, final fest made me realize how much splatoon has done for me over the years, i think ill always adore the world and its characters, even if i dont keep up with the games very much. im a little miffed team past won beecase even if i love the squid sisters, i reaaaally dont wanna see them doing more idol stuff. let those bitches retire!!! theyre like 30 now and still doing the same songs and outfits they wore nearly 10 years ago!! aauuhg, though i guess me caring so much about virtual squid idols shows how much the series still means to me...

i dont have any closing thoughts and i dont think anyone read this far either but it does feel very nice to word vomit on my blog which i. do not do. anymore. for some reason..

i love splatoon a lot i think, maybe i should just draw squids without playing the games...i think ill do that...

[crippleprophet]

hi! i have a question regarding. doctors being shitty/being incredibly invasive and controlling

some background: ive had neuromotor symptoms since i was a toddler (i was 'bad enough' to have the school district pay for my pt/ot as a toddler) which was (badly) diagnosed as dyspraxia by a neurologist who then never saw me again after i completed pt/ot.

i still have all of those problems now despite on and off pt since then and consistent pt for over a year currently. we went back to my current hospital trying to see a neurologist to discuss the results of an mri i had at a different hospital and set up 2 appointments.

we had an appointment scheduled with a neurologist which we went to regarding my neuromotor issues + mri as well as migraines. all he talked about during the appt was the migraines and told me i wasnt drinking enough water despite me having pots and drinking more than 100oz a day and that i was just stressed. he did not ONCE mention any of the neuromotor issues and dismissed me when i brought them up. he also told us seeing the other neurologist would be unnecessary and that we should cancel the appointment. at the appt me and my mom agreed with him, but we were unhappy with the outcome of the appointment with him and decided we should keep the second appointment to act as a second opinion.

the day before the 2nd opinion, we get a call from the first neuro saying that he cancelled the 2nd opinion appointment after talking to the 2nd neuro. this is technically not prohibited in the hospital im at as far as i understand, and my mom is planning to call the ombudsman to file a complaint at the very least but both of us are at a loss for what to do. i know i am probably in a different hospital system than you are so the logistics of reporting this will be different, but do you have any advice for what to say? i am at a genuine loss and as long as this neurologist is my current doctor i have no idea if ill be able to see a different neuro for a second opinion lest he cancel that appointment too.

[tl;dr: i scheduled 2 appointments with 2 different neurologists to discuss neuromotor symptoms, a mri i had done at a different hospital, and migraines. i saw the first one and he was incredibly dismissive and told me to cancel the 2nd appointment i had scheduled. my mom and i agreed at the time but decided to keep it for a second opinion after the appt was over. the first neurologist canceled the 2nd opinion appointment the day before the appt without consulting me or my mom.]

disclaimer that i am in the US and also a minor. if you or your followers have any advice it would be greatly appreciated!! thank you and sorry this is so long!

god, that’s such bullshit, i’m so sorry. you don’t deserve to be dealing with this & that’s incredibly inappropriate behavior. i’m obviously just some guy on the internet so take all of this with a grain of salt / weigh it against your preferences & experiences - i don’t think there’s any one right or wrong way to handle this & i’m sorry you’ve been put in such an awful position. (also no need to apologize for being long - i’m about to write you a novel lol)

i definitely think contacting the ombudsman is a good idea & i’m really glad your mom is on your side; you can also find the complaint process for the medical board in charge of his licensure by searching [your state] medical board complaint. here’s an overview of what happens with that process:

if you’re on medicaid or medicare there are additional specific avenues of complaint through that.

i’m going to file a complaint against a doctor in the next couple of weeks for some fucked up shit of my own so my thought process for that has been like, i don’t expect anything to happen to him, but it might help some future person who complains for there to have been previous issues on file. you might be in a different emotional position, though - if your complaint going nowhere would be devastating, for example, it’s okay to factor that into your decision of whether to file one.

i also recommend checking your state laws around your rights to your medical records, and while there are ways to obtain it after filing a complaint, i’d personally try to get any test results or other documentation that you’d need to show a different physician before filing a complaint just to minimize the risk of somebody giving you grief & dragging it out. i went in person to ask for my bloodwork results from the shit doctor & let the rest of my record with them rot bc i don’t need to read the bullshit he wrote & certainly don’t want it impacting my care with someone else.

as far as getting a second opinion i think there are a few things to consider:

i’d personally be super careful when deciding whether to try to make another appointment with neuro#2. it could be that shitty neuro#1 just talked to the scheduling department or something, but if he talked to the doctor themself, it’s unfortunately really fucking likely that neuro#2 is already biased against you. most (not all - my pcp is fabulously untrusting of his peers) doctors will take a fellow doctor’s word over a patient’s any day.

do you have options that are outside of that hospital network, or something like a private practice that’s technically part of the network but uses their own scheduling system? if it’s an option i think getting as far away (in terms of connection, not literal distance) as possible is your safest bet; one of the very few good things about the US medical system is the lack of a centralized database, so in a lot of circumstances your medical record can’t follow you unless you let it. i’m a huge proponent of giving my doctors information on a need-to-know basis; my rheumatologist doesn’t know my pcp gave me tramadol while i was trying to get an appointment, for example, because i don’t want to be labeled drug-seeking.

if your only options are where neuro#1 would be able to see the appointment, it’s more dicey - hopefully the ombudsman has better / more specific advice, but if it were me, i’d probably try to make an appointment in person to get a sense of the vibe & if the person scheduling seems kind/decent, explain that i had a doctor cancel my appointment against my wishes & ask if they could make a note or something to only cancel it if i (or in your case maybe your mom) says so. kind of risky but this whole thing is a clusterfuck so it could be worth a shot.

is there any reason this neurologist needs to stay your current doctor? because like, if not, get your records and get the fuck out. usually i just ghost my providers but in this case it sounds like you’ll probably need to formally break up with him - if you have a follow-up scheduled then if you cancel that you can inform the front desk when doing so that you’re no longer going to be a patient at that office. heads up they’ll probably ask why, it’s up to you whether you want to be honest.

if you’re comfortable doing so, after you’ve extricated yourself from this provider, i’d recommend writing a public-facing review anywhere you can - google reviews for his practice / the hospital, your insurance website, healthgrades, etc - so other potential patients are warned. i’d basically say what you told me here about what happened.

as far as writing your complaints themselves, i’d try to found them on as much documented evidence from other providers as possible, because the system only respects itself. so for the complaint i’m working on, i’m going to include:

what the doctor did that was against current diagnostic guidelines, & cite those

previous diagnoses & medications he ignored

what i was subsequently diagnosed with & medicated with

statements he made that were factually incorrect, & citations of research disproving them

if he didn’t talk about your imaging you should definitely mention that too.

i hope some of that is helpful! i’ve been researching & sorting through my own neurological stuff so if there’s anything else i can do to help or support you feel free to send another ask or dm me! best of luck to you & you’ll be in my thoughts 💓🖤💓 other folks feel free to respond if you have further advice!

[will1]

dude your art is so good, do you have any advice for how to improve as an artist who hasn't been very consistent ? I'd love to know what resources you use for studies,how you lay out sketch pages,what you choose to study,any websites you use for art,etc? No pressure ofc! You don't even have to post this, just know you're one of my biggest art inspo blogs 😊

gahhh aehehahe i really appreciate this ^_^ really kind words :D, anyway my one advice is get incredibnly obssesed with a ccharacter and draw them over and over for 5 years. jk.. i hsve other advice 2 :grin: i think, personally what helped me grow was really having other artists evaluate my art and really taking constructive criticism to heart and working on whatever issues i have consistently in my art whether its anatomy or coloring or rendering. i think it is great 2 have other artist friends who can help you and eachother imrpove! i think also pushing yourself to draw things your uncomfortable with like strange angles and different features and really just working on understanding the human form helped me draw more consistently, for me im now at the stage where i am experimenting with my style but before that i was focused on really getting the basics, i think now that i understand like, figure drawing and such i have been able to focus on getting a consistent art style if thats what you mean? but again ive done alot of figure drawings and loose poses. i remember watching this video a couple years ago that helped me get on the track 2 studying figures specifically !! i do not know if it will be of service to you but here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGhYfLQWbp0 , also ive done some studies of figure drawings from other really good artists i was looking at this one book ill try to see if i can remember later. but yea i study from life and other artists, when it comes to painting i find alot of inspiration from stuff i find on pinterest and also other artists on tumblr lol gahh i have been writing alot my bad, but yea i usually google references for poses i dont really use any like, artist reference websites even though i should lol. but yea overall i have done like soo many gesture drawings, and when i frst got into tf2 i studied the comics artstyle alot which i think helped alot with my style and understanding all the muscles in the face you know, also for sketch pages i literally just start a drawing of something and draw around the empty space around it lol, i do not really plan them ever, in like physical sketchbooks i try to fill in the space between all my other sketches so all my drawings kind of meld into eachother cause i think it looks neat, anyway sorry 4 the essay and i hope any of this helps!! '^_^ if u have any more questions feel free 2 ask

[idealspawn]

i think its probably good that he is on his 2 week europe trip. we made plans for after his trip so i feel secure. he told me he trusts me. i trust him too. i was afraid i dont trust myself not to disconnect w my feelings but i think its fine now. i therapized myself out of it :d. i think we both need breathing room. i also need to get sober for a while, fuck. that has def messed me up. we met up one last time before he left too and he took pics of me w his film camera. he is convinced that im photogenic though im not.... he taught me how to use the camera too! we also visited a local church and listened to the organ music there. it was beautiful. ive been massively inhaling therapy videos on how to self-regulate and allow breathing room in a relationship. also how to maintain a distinct identity whilst being together with someone. it has helped me immensely. i also have actually returned back to my hobbies and read diff essays abt my personal interests like philosophy and religion and the art of translating literature. i rediscovered old video games i used to play w my sister, that is insanely healing. ive drawn a lot and listened to lots of new music and made new cool playlists. i watched some anime too! ive met up w my friends that i havent seen in such a long time and ive been such a great host. i invited my 8 girl friend group over and we made spring rolls together and mojitos and got high and played cool board and card games. it was so refreshing. i also invited my closest friend over and we went riding w bikes at night and climbed on the walls surrounding a manor near my home. not sure if legal but we also jumped in their backyard and ran around. it was so beautiful. we also did lots of other fun stuff. i saw poppies! my fav flower. also bats!!! the reflection of the moon on a river was so beautiful. it was so nice that my sister came over for a day too. i saw two of her friends briefly too and they were so nice to me! today ill be going out of my comfort zone a fuck ton too. my friend is hosting her bday party in her countryside home that is far away and i havent even figured out my transportation back. i will stay there for 3 days. loose ends like that used to freak me the fuck out but i think ill be fine. its an old house so it doesnt really allow me to follow all my insane rituals but i think i need to train myself to be okay w it. most ppl are sleeping in tents but i can be in the house bc i literally dont have a tent but that also probably would make me panic a bit too much. too many new things at once isnt good either i think. im actually doing fine. its nice. surprising that ive done things and im doing things and i havent died although most of my life ive literally feared i would. like not yet discussing why i shut down when the guy im seeing tried to be intimate and postponing it for after his trip.. i used to NEVER be able to do that. like i couldnt for the life of me sit w the uncomfortable emotion. like my entire life used to stop until i could regulate through the other person and vocalize it. but now ive just like. organized my brain. and self-soothed myself and i feel safe that he wont immediately leave me just bc of one difficult situation with an ambiguous meaning. and that the issue can be put on pause and when he returns we can talk about it.

[emulation-0]

@cursedvibes ty for tagging me ik it was a while ago 😭

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

on my profile 32, i think? (but actually 35)

2. Whats your total word count?

59,890 tho i do have like 56000 more words in orphaned works

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Jujutsu Kaisen, i had some ideas for other fandoms but those remain as wips... honestly after this tsumiki one im not sure i will be writing for a while siebjfneofneod

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's a fire in my brain and im burning up (itadori)

this tired old machine is a-rumbling (higuruma)

the devil's after both of us (itafushi)

oh, lay my curses out to rest (tokyo students + shoko)

oh, ashes ashes dust to dust (nobamaki)

(this makes me upset im not gonna lie cuz looking back and reading these im struck by how mid they are but sjdbdkneodks its whatever)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do for the most part !! i love receiving comments and i want people to know how much i appreciate it :) i also love when ppl reply to comments i leave on their fics so i want to do the same

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm my Curses series was more one-shots without actual plot.. and as many of those were shibuya or post shibuya they were all pretty angsty beifbekdjeodk. i wouldnt say any have this kind of ending because then there would have to be a story. but i would say the saddest one ive written is 'keep running for the sink but the well is dry'

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'light of a new morning' for sure. this one actually had some kind of development i would say. also i have bias because this is one of the only three ive written that dont totally suck. though the tsumiki wip im working on for sure will have an even happier ending

8. do you get hate on fic?

im not popular enough for that lol

9. do you write smut?

no

10. do you write crossovers?

i had one in mind a while ago but it escaped me... i never have before but that doesnt mean i never will, even if it is unlikely

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but id be honored if so. especially if it was one im proud of

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but im open to the idea

14. whats your all-time favorite ship?

i go through phases so i cant really answer this lol. my interest waxes and wanes. rn though im really obsessed with uroyuki and in a satosugu phase

15. whats a wip you want to finish but probably won't?

there is a shokohime wip i started two or so years ago about shoko's backstory and the developing of their relationship up until the present but at some point there was a research aspect to it and i thought 'ill do it later'. and then i never did 💀 id like to continue it but i still lowk think it will sit there.. i dont have enough motivation to do research ekdbfkenfkdk

there is also a trigun one i started, it was kind of plotless, just vibes, but i wasnt able to get their dialogue right and idk. maybe when i get into a trigun phase again ill find inspiration and continue

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think im good at describing a scene and emotions. im good at making this kind of poetry

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

im soooo shit at dialogue and even when im not shit at it i keep overthinking it and ruin it anyway lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean ive done it (but i orphaned those... lol) and im doing it now for the tsumiki wip so its fine i guess. but id only do it for languages that i know and if not, after profuse grammar checking. also ofc it has to make sense within the context of the story

19. first fandom you wrote for?

septimus heap eiebdkwbdkebd it was so bad

20. favorite fic you've written?

ill do you one better and say three... and these are the not-mid ones

light of a new morning (tsumiki and itadori)

after hours (mob and reigen)

before-the-storm bloom (uroyuki)

my writing style changed a lot and i think these ones emulate the way it is now the best

idk 20 writers but tagging @that-was-anticlimactic @zukkaoru @blackhallow and anyone else who wants !!

[omophagic-beast]

alright lets talk ttrpg goals for 2023! this post is about games im writing that i want to finish this year, ill make another one for games i want to play in 2023.

i have. so many half finished games. in fact i even have several games that are written!! they just need to be laid out and put out there. so heres the goals and the order for said goals

1- Record Collection 2K23, and the yet-unnamed game for it that ive been writing up over the past few weeks. part tarot-driven game, part... play? there’s stage directions in there in any case

its based off the four wind albums by the Oh Hellos, later on the two characters in the play only talk to eachother via lyrics from each album, moving through the seasons as they move through their story.

ofc i want to finish this one during the jam, which means by the end of january. very much pushing myself to just Get It Out There and not worry so much about it being exactly what i want, because i can always come back and update it later. its horribly (affectionate) self indulgent already so to b clear i am writing this game for Me, so the only person who needs to like it at any point is Me :3

2- There Is An Anger Inside Of You. ive been noodling at this game for over a year now, with the creation date on the word doc being may of 2021. its done!!! its finished, i swear to god, i just need to lay it out, and i already know how im going to do that i just need to *grabs myself by the shoulders* fucking do it

its a game about being angry when youre not able to express it, the struggle of keeping your anger under wraps being played out as a rather unfair game of chess. and i am going to get it out by the end of february.

3- The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused, a hack of For The Queen based on the short story The Lady or The Tiger. its another one that is currently completely written out, but rather than laying it out and getting it out there my goal with this one is to get it formatted for playtesting. its a three player game, players taking on the role of either The Lady, The Tiger, or The Accused, and answering the prompts as such. i really love it, but it needs to be played by people and revised before ill feel comfortable declaring it finished.

also, i want to actually crowdfund and print this one, with art and editing and maybe some pretty extras and such. so my goal is to start playtesting it by my birthday, the 17th of march. after that... im not sure! crowdfunding it by the end of the year would be wild i think, since, in true For The Queen style, id love to get a gaggle of artists to draw Princess cards for it, and that takes time! so the goal is more to have it ready for crowdfunding by the end of this year, and if that happens sooner then thats cool and good!

4- Someones Simple Book of Spells Volume One: Paper. This one is also FULLY WRITTEN *sounds of agony in the distance* i just need to LAY IT OUT

and honestly since i already know how i want to lay it out lets put this one for the end of april. yes this is pretty much a game a month for the next bit but theyre all SO CLOSEEEE to being done anyways its just that final push, i could accomplish most of these goals in a weekend if i just did it so. im going to!! do it!!!

5- ok finally, one thats actually not almost finished, its The Center of the Known Universe. a small anthology of games originally started for the weird west jam but never finished.

its got some of my favorite concepts ive ever thought of though, a game about aliens freezing time in a small western town and LARPing as cowboys, two wild west wizards battling it out at high noon, a game about supernatural cowboys falling in love while experiencing all the seasons of the desert, and more. its a love letter to the small desert town i currently live in, and i want to see it come into being. im going to give myself the summer for this, lets say the goal is to have the full first draft written by september. i also would love for this one to go into print, so a secondary goal is to have it ready to crowdfund in time for ZineMonth 2024, so february of next year.

i think thats probably all the projects i can set goals for this year, october-december is always very busy for me so im not gonna set anything besides the two i want to get ready for crowdfunding in 2024, though i do have several other half written games lying about (looks nervously at my over-4000 word “ttrpg ideas” doc).

maybe ill get into the swing of actually finishing games and get to them as well! but if not thats just fine :3

you can always find all my games over on the Grey Jay Games itch.io page, and i may make a sideblog just for GJG, but for the moment all game news and stuff from me will be right here @resident-corvid​

[bigbroemen]

沼・山・海・谷にいる numa・yama・umi・tani ni iru

４人の人たち・・・はやく yonin no hitotachi ・・・ hayaku

ココに・・・連れてきて・・・・ koko ni ・・・ tsuretekite ・・・・

---

沼 numa - swamp

山 yama - mountain

海 umi - sea, ocean

谷 tani - valley, canyon

に ni - location marker; in x に y, y is located in or on x

いる iru - to be (of animate objects); to exist

４人 yonin - 4 people, "yo" being 4 and "nin" being the counter for people

人 hito - person

たち tachi - pluralizing suffix, primarily used for people and other animate things w behaviors

ひやく hayaku - adverb conjugation of はやい hayai - fast, quick

ココ koko - here, this place

(again) に ni - location marker; in x に y, y is located in or on x

連れて tsurete - te-form conjugation of 連れる tsureru - to take (someone) with; to bring along. te-form conjugation is being used to tack this verb onto another to create a compound verb

きて kite - te-form conjugation of くる/来る kuru - to come, to arrive. te-form conjugation is being used to convey the verb as a request/instruction

---

swamp・mountain・sea・valley in

4 people... hurry

here... come and bring them

the text is split up in a way that makes the sentence read a little more broken, heres reading it again without a line by line translation

4 people in swamp・mountain・sea・valley...

hurry　here... come and bring them

---

お久しぶり its been a long time since ive done one of these!!!!! i stopped for a long time because 1. they take so long to put together and i think i was just burnt out, despite how much fun i was having, and 2. i hit a point where i was able to fly through a Lot of dialogue without having to stop and learn new pieces, so a good portion of dialogue in games started becoming a lot less like new adventures and a lot more mundane and normal feeling!! that has actually been a very special feeling and ive just been letting myself enjoy it, without jumping to make a breakdown post every 30 minutes

im definitely not at a point where i can play through games like final fantasy tactics, or like. 999. that would be the god mode of practicing japanese i think, thats like. you have to have a developed home-born and raised high school level understanding of japanese. like you dont NEED to be born and raised but thats the level of exposure you should expect to have in order to match that level

it HAS been a long time!!! i stopped playing games in japanese for a while. in the same way i got burnt out on making breakdown posts, i also got burnt out actively play-reading in japanese for at least a few months. at the time, it felt too wrong to just passively play-read for that period of time in retrospect though, i think thats wrong. input thats only getting passed through and not getting committed to memory still does more for your exposure than input that doesnt go in at all. i DID play a ton of kirby air ride in japanese in that period of time, so at least i like. REALLY know what まっすぐ means from all the drag race predictions

im playing majoras mask right now. i started playing on the switch in english and i got the energy to play in japanese, so i started a file on the computer (apparently the system language change doesnt work for the roms on the switch??). joeys playing fallout 4 a ton on the computer and im letting him since he gets less free time than i do and his work is a lot more physically taxing, so im a lot more ahead on the switch vs the computer (also the computer is just taking longer by virtue of me looking up words and shit in the jp dictionary every 20 seconds); i just got the lens of truth and the goron mask in english while im Still on the very first 3 day cycle in japanese

i dont know how many more of these ill be doing in the near future!! they DO take a long time. if i find a box of dialogue or boxes of dialogue that really Grab me, ill be here

[snufflepup]

Ty^^ I gotta wait a bit till his banner, but I cant wait to have him^^. He does burn damage and applies burn debuffs, so i so need him a lot for burn synergy teams! That team would include other burn based characters to kinda just burn-max the battle lol. Itd be spathodea, isolde, joe, and ulu for max burn efficiency. They all apply burn and do extra extra damage for enemies with burn. Oh, burn just increases damage done by a lot, so that's why it's such a good stat. Dynamo is also a good Stat for Lucy. Going for dynamo-maxxing with her increases her damage nearly 10 fold. Dynamo is a self buff kinda Stat that only applies to awakened arcanists like her because it relates to electricity. I'm pretty sure I'm okay, I mean it did bruise where he kicked me, but it doesn't really hurt. I fucking hate him. It makes it worse that he said he loved me before I felt like kms. I was even willing to go to jail for him once and I can't fucking stand how he treats me now. I tried hard to talk to her about it and she jusf wanted to be sarcastic the entire fucking time (over text too like wtf?! Its hard to tell sarcasm in an argument over text, me even moreso than her cause im autistic as shit). But we talked about it and it was a huge struggle. I had blackmail on them both at one point (the kind that can get her in jail) cause i was terrified of her leaving me forever and she believed me when I said I deleted it to make her more comfortable with me. But her fuckass dipshit lied straight out and said I didn't delete it, so she wants to look through my phone like a fucking mom like actually wtf. I'm gonna let her, but I'm hurt she claims to trust me like I do her (with my life obvs) and then she does this shit. It's tiring, I have a major headache. My favorite candy i got was twizzlers, Twix, and blue fun dip^^. Though my favorite candy of all time is salted caramel truffles!^^ What's yours? My favorite stranger things characters was Chrissy, Eddie, Steve, Mike, will, and Johnathan!^^ i have a lot lol. I loved it, i watched seasons 1, 2, and part of 3 when i was with a different ex and she broke up with me during me watching it, so i was traumatized from that and unable to watch it without puking, though that was about 6 years ago I think. I watched the entire 4 seasons out rn with my most recent ex and now it's kinda making me sick again. Idk how this is affecting me like that, that's wierd. I'm glad you had an okay day at least^^<3. I'm glad that with as little consistency i can have in life, ill allways have you to talk to, puppy^^<3. The ex that made me stop watching stranger things was like that for me, but she's been ghosting me for a month now. Ive heard of fairy tail before! A friend of mine liked it, though when i heard about it, i watched nux taku a lot on youtube and he dissed it a lot so that kind of put me off of watching it. He really just said its trash, but ive changed since then and tbh it seems cool. Ive seen stuff for natsu, and i think he kinda looks hot. Is it somewhat like konosuba? I loved loved loved konosuba! Her magic sounds interesting. Lol, it's cute to see you so into her^^. I feel like I'd be fine, whether It's fan service or something, I'm used to a lot of stuff, so I mean it can't be too bad^^

-ike<3

I see ! It sounds like he's really powerful and good !! Is he ? It sounds fun ! I hope you are able to get him !! I'm glad you aren't in a lot of pain :( I'm really sorry, that sounds so . awful . You really really don't deserve any of that ! ooo fun !! Those all sounds really good (..◜ᴗ◝..) I've never heard of Blue Fun Dip before though ! But I assume it's simillar too like, other dip things I've seen here !! I think my favourite are lollipops, but I don't get them a lot ! I really like the traffic light ones, although, I've only had them like . twice . other ones I like are sour moams and sour candies, and like, chocolates ! I understand that. . . I feel similarly over a show called 'One Upon A Time' ! It wasn't exacrly the same situion but while watching it something bad happened to me during it, so I haven't been able to . watch it again even though it's been a little while now but ! I hope you are able to feel comfortable with it again, but it's okay if you never do as well ! A lot of people don't . like it . but it's okay ! When I first started seeing things about it all the dislike for it kind of . hurt . but it doesn't bother me as much anymore !!! I like it and that's what's important, I think ^–^ Nastsu is super cool too !!! I find it a little hard to pick favourites, but if I had too, it would probably be Natsu and Lucy ! Nobody in Fairy tail is straight or neurotypical . ( /hc but a lot of people into fairy tail feel the same ! ) I've never seen konosuba so I'm not really sure . Yes there is . fan service and stuff. . . but ! What I find funny is, despite that, it is one of the guys that are naked on screen the most lmao I also really really like all of the openings ! The first one makes me cry a little now, it makes me feel so happy ! It is really important to me ! Some people in the fandom can be really. . . weird but ! There are a lot of really cool people too ( The gif is Natsu !!! )

[transflynnscifo]

ok dnk part 3 ch 3.3 thoughts wahoooo. some vesperia spoilers are in there too

basically i found this update extremely interesting in the details. theres a lotnof small moments and lines that at first glance appear innocuous but have some sort of weight in context with the game itself. let's poke a little!

before that though i just wanted to say that this earned a good laugh out of me. these guys are so goofy

anyway!

flynn pov!

i like that flynn is obviously trying to do things the legal route by reporting the problem in hopes of getting it resolved. and while he has the patience to meticulously visit any place he thinks of, the narration notes that he doesn't have much patience nor hope. the former is particularly notable when flynn nearly lashes out against the knights

its a remnant of his observed mannerisms @ knights in parts 1 and 2, but we're already observing the beginnings of something we see in game, and it's specifically how he swallows his anger down around 95% of people he speaks to. ive mentioned it before in different places but its confirming my suspicions that have been growing since first reading translations: flynn becoming a knight wasnt the only factor in why his self-discipline strenghtened to a point he is actively suppressing himself. you kind of see him putting on a smile back when his mom was alive, and while part 3 opens with his behavior being fairly...closer(?) to how he can be seen in game when amicable, it just goes to show that flynns both been able to move on in some ways from his grief, but is also still learning to navigate his negative feelings in a way that makes others less worried. (opening a bracket here; the hope part just makes me think its smth we dont get to directly observe in game due to the game sticking to yuris pov, but can be inferred throughout the events of the story and particularly yuris actions against ragou and cumore. flynn is stubborn, but theres definitely some form of exhaustion that comes with moments that show some of flynns efforts end up futile, like arresting ragou)

but still, the earlier screenshot with flynn being surprised yuris worried only serves my point in addition to yuri being yuri; it doesnt seem like people usually fuss over flynn in front of him, does it?

a lot of that just now has been super speculative lol but another interesting bit ill briefly mention happens before the flynn pov that yuri thinks about jareth:

i hadnt considered the possibility of comparing flynn and jareth until this, and when i thought about it more, i realized theres quite a few parallels to draw between them going as early as part 1. but for the sake of brevity, ill focus on this bit. and how, in a way, jareth is also abiding by the law by following godonan's orders. are they good actions? no, but theyre legal. flynn is also trying to abide the law for the sake of the lower quarter. so you have two sides of abiding by the law, and how both ideas are done with some intent for the lower quarter.

jareth is interesting though, because he clearly is concerned about his home, but is also insistent on his home abiding by the whims of nobles, "because it would be easier." on the other hand, flynn is going down the harder path, by stubbornly seeing if there is anyone who is willing to take his case seriously

further down this chapter, jiri then says this to yuri:

so its fascinating that yuri too can be put into the mix, with him sneaking to the royal quarter. though jiri treats flynns part in this as the more positive one, it still comes across as her not entirely being optimostic about this in terms of influence..? but i guess in this case, it's less about whether any of these boys' actions are good, but more of a "its not great that a teenager is doing xyz all alone." i otherwise havent figured it out

HOWEVER

im sure jiri didnt think twice when she said that, but its easy to note that this is the same line of thinking yuri is known to repeat at the last third of the game about flynn. "he doesnt need a criminal by his side" can invoke a lot of ideas, but its not hard to imagine that yuri thinks his crimes would affect flynns efforts in one way or another. so to see it here made me think, oh yuris been internalizing some feelings about flynn for so so long. before knighthood even. this is a lot to think about

i havent got much else to add to this now, but its food for thought

i did enjoy that yuri attempts to go to find godinan, but rip. he really had no idea on what he was going to do, but he knew it just Wasnt Good. yuri. yuri BUDDY

anyway thanks for reading

[addictivepsychology]

Day 58

I’m sadly home

We had our third date and it was so great,

It never works out the way you think it will, but this time it did

With snacks and blankets and pillows, we laid and looked at the stars

Conversations for hours and sweet barely touches

We didn’t get to see the comet, but my view was better than that could ever be

You’re awkward and funny and I feel safe

I think

I hope you’ll be comfortable with me eventually, it takes time

I couldn’t stop smiling on the way home

Now I’m inspired, I’m going to paint

The post vacation depression has started, I was constantly excited for too many days and now I’m depleted

Also a toothache

5 more days of medication, and I think it’s working

I can’t wait to kiss you

I told you that when I got home and you said yes

But who knows how you feel

Or even if you’ve thought about it

Because men don’t normally do that

I’ll be able to plan all of my dates then, after I get a negative test

I really can’t wait until we can talk again

Id be lying if I said I haven’t thought about you every day

I’m still really broken about what I did

And I’m so so sorry, but I’m human

I make mistakes, It was nice to be normal again

I’ll bake for you in hopes that you’ll forgive me

And maybe see I’m not that person most of the time

I just hope one day you’ll understand

You’ll come back at the end of the week from your work training and I’ll be done with my meds then

But I have to wait 10 days to test again

What will I do if it’s not gone, ill cry

I need to start up my hobbies again

Gaming

Painting

Art

Movies

Going on night drives

Starting to get reliant on others for happiness and I can’t be there again

Ive been thinking about the break up lately

I’m so happy I did it but I know the scars are here

I wish I could pull them out like rope but it’s not that easy

I almost feel guilty for dating when I’m not emotionally fully available

Even though I put myself out there as if I am

I know it’ll show colors in the future

But how can I fix that,

But most people aren’t emotionally available but they also aren’t self aware enough to realize it then they hurt people

Like Mr hippie, who told me that he gets bored usually after 2-3 months and parts ways, but that’s your emotional baggage

What do I do with that information,

That’s for you to sort through instead of hurting more people

We all know you’re looking for something you’ll never reach, but it’s not

My responsibility

To make sure that you don’t hurt me in the process

I almost left while you were in the shower,

I guess it would’ve hurt less than this

You’re like me in some ways though,

Open book but a shallow one, the pages will always turn but the emotions are missing

One day I’ll tell you all of this if you choose to forgive me

But men are like cats now,

They need space

A lot of space

I’m not good with spaces of any size,

They confuse me, just tell me what you want

Even though you don’t know what you want

I don’t know what I want

I know I want

You

[dausy]

I got my hair did in preparation for this ball coming up. I was going to get a manicure and a pedicure but considering how expensive just getting my hair done was and then the anxiety of trying to find a place or fit in another appointment, I think Im just going to do it myself at home. I did ask the hair dresser if I could come back and if she could style my hair for me. My anxiety totally flared asking for this but I did schedule an appointment.

Problem is is I was looking at the work schedule and I do schedule my own work days but the day of the ball looks so unmanageable and ugly without me..I think Ill have to run in and help for the first half of the day and tell them they're screwed and finish without me. I just dont understand our scheduling.

Think that weekend we are also travelling to Phoenix as my SIL graduates nursing school. Its scheduled on a terrible day and we feel bad nobody is going to be able to make it so we are going to try and show up for her. Maybe take a trip to ikea..for fun...but now I need to schedule boarding for my dog at the last minute. We also have plans to visit Santa Fe for memorial day weekend.

The past 2 weekends have been kinda cool. We visited Hueco Tanks to check out the rock climbing and bouldering. To literally check it out, it was spur of the moment, we didn't actually come prepared for climbing but we watched several teams do it and we essentially hiked around and explored the place.

Yesterday we drove to Cloudcroft and a "viral" place we saw on tiktok called The Applebarn. Supposed to have obviously apple pies and other treats. Have to admit I was expecting it to be a bit like Lanes Orchard in Georgia where they had a cafeteria of freshly cooked goods and this place..did not...it had some cool nicknacks but I was honestly expecting to walk out of there with some sort of an apple crumble and ice cream..just total nope. Cloudcroft was ok. Ive definitely been to better tourist areas. I did see some CUTE clothing items though but they were so expensive and I just didn't think it was worth it...Then we drove to Whitesands New Mexico which also had me worried. Some of these parks I'm always like "ok but what do you do when you get there?" and it was actually pretty cool. Yes, essentially as an adult you kinda go and look around but it was still neat to look at. Overall it was a decent day trip. The weather was very nice and comfortable and everywhere was dog friendly. I'm so sad we didn't bring our dog because she could have gone inside the shops in Cloudcroft even T_T

we purchased a National Park guide where you can mark off where you've been with stickers. We are "near" a few more national parks that we've never been too. We are going to try and mark off some before we leave. I'd like to make it to some of those midwest parks but I doubt thats going to happen.

[kazuma-asogi-blog]

yeah that sure was a trial, wasnt it? honest it doesnt surprise me one itty bit that jack was involved in all that mess, its why i keep my cat indoors no matter what. sure it sucks a bit that i dont get his flat, because i have to replace my kitchen window, but yknow given what he and peter were doing im not sure i want it! besides its still a crime scene so i have been forced to enter and exit my flat through climbing up someones porch and across three because my stairs are part of the crime scene. i may just build some sort of pulley at this point.

i wont be able to watch your trial against peter because i have to work :(((( but i wish you the best of luck!!! you def have the bird in the hand with this one, that was some messy stuff im surprised the lab isnt near my flat! pretty pls mr handsome tell us all about that case too, ill try to bring you and mr pretty prosecutor a cake from work when i get out, youll probably be done by then!!!

fortunately though the knife in my window was not in fact related to jack being jack. it was one of the neighbourhood kids who still has a vendetta against me because i wouldnt help them poison the last inspector we had. his death probably had nothing to do with us, you can ask mr pretty prosecutor about inspector jovi's death, he probably remembers it? but i mean. if you want a list of some of the weird things that happen here i can get you a list, ive lived here for twelve years and its just always been like this, honest.

if anything im just glad we got you now!!! we all hated jovi and youre 1) beautiful as a sunrise 2) competent and dont brush us off as the weird neighbourhood and 3) took out the reaper. he stopped killing people when you showed up. that probably scored you points with mr pretty prosecutor for helping him but it scored you way more with us!!!

Yes, a broken window will be easier to fix than claw marks, I think. My apologies for the inconvenience - the area should be released by now. I'll admit your neighborhood is…curious. Try to stay out of trouble. And thank you, I certainly tried to take out the Reaper but it was really more the work of my friend.

I just got out of court from trying Mr. Peter Narian, and I am happy to say it was a success. This trial was far more straightforward than the last; it was a matter of systematically presenting evidence of wrongdoing, confirming he had no evidence to the contrary or license to do so, and then moving onto the next. I got a guilty verdict, and even Lord van Zieks seemed pleased.

[sexdrugsrocknroller]

aight im making a post so i can say im using this shit like an actual diary

right now i have a grandeur of disorganization on my phone (laptop too but thats been a piece of junk since forever, fuck acer), between the basically full storage, mostly from the gallery (as of now i have a grand total of 93k photos. yes, 93 000 photos and videos.) plus my socials are fucked between the excessive saved and liked posts on instagram, same goes for tumblr here and twitter (i dont really use twitter, i only have an account to like and bookmark posts) and the youtube playlists and chronology.

plus my room is all messy with my not enough space for clothes and random papers and shit thrown together on any surface

i decided i dont like that and im changing it.

for the storage, i have already started deleting quite a bit, right now i deleted like 2300 elements but theres a lot more. sad part is that a lot of it is porn, wether drawn or short videos. im not gonna go full monk and delete all of it, though it would be easier, cause some of it i like. not to talk about the amount i already had to transfer on the laptop when i was tired of receiving warnings about the full storage in the last 2 years. i was also thinking of doing a backup of the whatsapp chats on the laptop so i can delete all the data on the phone storage. it would save me like 6 gb but its kinda extreme.

for socials, the solution is the same. tumblr: gradually remove liked posts i dont need to keep saved, and post what ive been keeping to post like i should have. last i checked, i had like 35k liked posts, and again, a lot of it porn. im not sure i want to post porn and erotica on this blog so for now im reblogging it on an alt, hoping it doesnt get deleted again. then ill have to unfollow some of the 4k blogs im following. guess what part of them are?

instagram, im not even going to remove all of the saved posts. its the social i used most to scroll at, i dont have the option to see how many posts i have saved but i dont think it would be an exaggeration to say i have at least a million. yea i know. im just going to get to a certain post i remember saving this summer, once im at that i will probably make another account altogether since i would never be able to clean all of it. i started this on around mid to end january, and as of now im just at mid october. after something like 20 non consecutive hours. yea its bad. it wouldnt be worth it to go past a certain point. better to just make a new one at that time and be more careful there.

youtube, i have the same problem of all social, i open a video just to keep it in the chronology so i can check it later and maybe save it. ive done it far too much. at least youtube is much faster to clean, but again i would never be able to check every single video i have left in the chrono to save at a second moment. thankfully once im done i could just go on settings and choose to do a tabula rasa of it, removing it completely.

twitter is probably also not worth the trouble of sitting thru all the posts i liked as a way of saving them. i probably shouldnt even care about it. this one has the least priority.

saved tabs on the browser? the easiest one by far out of all of it.

my room and the house in general, there isnt any second road, i just have to first remove and throw what i clearly dont need, store away whats left with some degree of order and hope i saved some space, and try to keep clean, plus store things with stricter orders so its cleaner. after my room and things, its time for the rest of the house.

all of this will be slow, gradual, and a major pain in the ass, but it has to be done and i intend to do it.

and all of this doesnt even include having to remake and update my cv and linkedin in preparation for when my contract ends, planning what to do for university between tests and papers and documents needed and all that, and this arguably has higher priority than all of above time and importance wise. but yknow. actually you dont know. even i dont know.