#i think i've accepted that she loved me even though she didn't really. like. believe me about some things but whatever

[krumbaphant]

me: why am i sad and like. grievy. why do i want someone to tell me they hate me

me, remembering that it's the 6th year since my mom died: ah

[harmonybarmy]

if people tell you smile 2 is good they're lying to you.

[kimhargreeves]

Saved Again-Sanji x Fem Reader (One Piece Netflix)

Summary: You've been Luffy's friend for years. Being the first member to join Luffy's crew, together they are off to become pirates,.later on a certain chef has his eyes on you. And a fond memory of you and a boy after a shipwreck comes to mind when arriving at the Baratie.

(A/N: I'm so excited for the One Piece live action do I decided to write this!! I'll start on a Part 2 once the series is released. I absolutely love Sanji and he's my favorite of the Straw Hats. I relate to him a lot too since I was training to become a chef as well…anyways the one shot might be slightly changed once I watch the series.)

(A/N: Oh and also the reader is often confused as a boy but Nami and Sanji know she's a girl.)

"That's why I'm gonna be king of the pirates!!" Luffy exclaimed enthusiastically, even though we were in the middle of nowhere.

I turned around and frowned looking at him being too cheery and loud as usual. "Can you be any louder?' I glare before pulling my head out of the small boat we were in and I continued to throw up out into the ocean.

I heard a hum coming from Luffy and saw him tilting his head a bit. "Are you sure you're okay?"

This is the downside of wanting to become a pirate and sail across the Grand Line. Well, not many people get sea sick and start to pour their guts out.

I wipe the sweat off my forehead and sighed. "If only Coby didn't accept in becoming a Marine. He would've maybe given me some of the medicine he was carrying."

"He did offer some yet you said you'd be alright without it." Luffy reminds me making me groan.

"Don't make me throw up on you." I warn.

"Will you two shut up already?" I glared and looked back at the green haired man who I forgot had joined us.

"Huh? Why don't you make me, Zoro? Our friend here might be dying." Luffy said patting my back a bit too rough.

Zoro looked at us with a bored expression on his face and went back to closing his eyes. "You guys are insufferable, would've been nicer if I was still tied up."

I point and glared at him. "You should be thankful that we saved your ass."

"Luffy was the one who did. You're too weak to save anyone anyway, kid."

"I'm not a kid! I'm older than you think believe it or not!!" I shout getting defensive and forgetting that I had be throwing up.

"Then why are you acting like a kid?!"

"Guys will you stop arguing for once?" Luffy said stepping between us and calming Zoro as well when we saw an island up ahead.

Idiots are they really dumb and don't know I am secretly a girl. The reason why I like to crossdress if for fun, but mostly because I've seen the way pirates who are men are more respected.

I once had cut my hair short but decided to let it grow and use a wig instead, besides being in disguise had helped me with stealing from people.

Luffy with his devil fruit power stretched all the way until his feet hit the sand and he looked around in enthusiasm.

"Wow this island seems so cool! But why is it so quiet?!" He asked loudly.

"Maybe this is an island inhabited with ghosts." I muttered and heard Zoro scoff and began to grab his swords when the boat hit the sand below us.

Zoro jumped off of the boat and began to follow Luffy. "Hey, (Y/N). Are you coming or staying?"

I raised my head and tilted my head looking at Luffy. "You guys can go on ahead. I'll catch up with you."

He nodded and I saw both guys beginning to walk further into the island. Slowly I got up on my feet and jumped out of the boat as well. I was deep in my thoughts imagining what it will be like to travel across the world and get to know other famous pirates.

Luffy's dream has always been to become king of the pirates and his number 1 person he's always looked up to was Shanks, maybe Gold D. Roger in second place.

As for me..I really don't have a dream. I've just been following Luffy around. I don't have a family. Shanks was the one who raised me along with Luffy, I came along later in the picture and don't have any memories of my past, only a few glimpses here and there but maybe it's just me reliving someone else's dream.

"So he's also a devil fruit user?"

I stopped walking and ran to hide behind a building and I looked over and saw a group of pirates, my eyes were set on the one between all of them. Buggy the clown. I've seen his Wanted poster.. wait!

My eyes widened and then I glared when I spotted Luffy in a cage. Are you serious?! He got caught..huh? I looked and saw someone else with them too, a red headed girl.

Where is Zoro anyways?

I frowned even more when I saw he and Luffy were caught. God damn it. It's up to me now, now all I gotta do is find out if this girl is an enemy of ally.

I got out of my hiding place and prepared to face the gang of pirate clowns…

"Hang on!!"

Someone shouted and tried to reach for my hands but I was pulled away by the harsh tides of the sea. My eyes and lungs began to sting, I felt like it was the end for me. Just a few minutes ago I was with my family, are they dead? Will I die as well and meet them again?

I couldn't swim so I felt myself sinking lower into the dark cold sea. I wanted to cry but couldn't and right when I was ready accept my death I felt someone grab onto me and I was being pulled up again.

I gasped along with the person who had saved me. A man about the same age as my dad saved me, I continued to gasp and began to cough up the salty water I had in my lungs.

The sky was dark with clouds covering the sky, it was heavily raining with thunder.

"Don't die just yet kid! Hold onto this." The man exclaimed.

The man could swim with ease and he had placed me on top of a wooden piece of what I assumed was part of the ship that had exploded. I looked to my right and saw a boy my age, with blonde hair and green eyes, his eyes seemed scared as well.

Are we the only survivors?

My answer was clear the more we got away from the shipwreck and landed on an island. The man easily picked us up and placed us on his shoulder, but the more he continued to walk the more I felt he was struggling, it wasn't until we made it inside a cave that I realized he lost his leg.

I was about to comment on it but didn't when the man seemed angry at something. The boy and I exchanged looks and didn't say a word, we only saw the man lighting up a small fire place as we continued to hear thunder and lightning.

I don't know who this man is, this boy surely isn't his son…mom..dad…my eyes began to sting and I began to cry out loudly with tears running down my face along with a runny nose.

The man didn't say anything and the little boy seemed to stiffen and I saw a few tears forming in his eyes as well and he began to silently cry…

By the next morning the man, the pirate who saved us said he wanted to be alone so he left the boy and I a large bag of food. "We refuse to eat this because you're a pirate and pirates are bad people!!" The boy had shouted earlier.

The man said almost nothing and left me alone with the boy. The boy and I looked at each other and we both didn't say a word about the man.

"Umm do you think we can make a boat somehow and leave the island?" I quietly asked nervous and shy to ask this stranger for help.

"Does it look like we have a way out of this island?! The boy shouted glaring at me. "What would a girl know about sailing anyways?"

I began to cry again and I did the first thing that came to my mind, and I had punched him. "All I want is to see my parents again!"

The boy seemed surprised by my action and began to hold onto his swollen cheek. "H-hey don't cry. You're gonna make me cry again!"

It was too late. He was crying again….

It had been many days until the three of us were rescued. An odd boat with some friendly men were the one who saved us, the man who rescued the boys and us took the boy in as his own in a way, and he was about to send me off to live a normal life with someone who was willing to raise me.

The man somehow got a nice dress for me to wear, as a last send-off he had done a dessert for me. A strawberry cake I came to love at first bite.

He along with the men on the ship all were outside ready to say their goodbyes to me. I even saw a man or two begin to cry.

"I always wanted a small girl."

"You can't even feed yourself properly how are you supposed to raise a kid." I heard one of them say to another.

"You ready, kid?" I heard the man ask making me turn to look at him. I shook my head and the man sighed and patted my head once. "You'll soon understand why I'm sending you off. You'll have a proper life."

My eyes wandered over to the man and over to the small boy I was saved with. The boy stiffened when I looked at him, and I saw his pale cheeks turn to a pink color.

"I-I…" I didn't know exactly what to say, that's until he spoke up.

"I d-do hope you enjoyed the cake I made with help! Next time if we meet again I'll bake you a whole lot more..also…if we meet again I'll make you my wife!!" He exclaimed.

The men behind the boy groaned and one of them lightly hit his head. "That's no way of a send-off!"

I shyly smiled at all of them and the boy….

"Usopp!! Nami!! Are we there yet?!"

"How many times do we have to say, no!!"

I squinted my eyes when I opened them. "That was a strange dream." I muttered to myself and glared at the three who woke me up.

Few days have gone by since he fought Buggy and his crew along with a few more pirates. Usopp was the new crew member. He's a bit odd and a scaredy cat but he means well. If it wasn't for him. Luffy wouldn't have his new and proper ship, officially presenting himself as a pirate.

The sailing ship was huge and fitted with us do well. Luffy named it the Going Merry. A fitting name for a ship.

I looked to my left and saw Zoro fast asleep, I felt envious that he could sleep through this much talking and noise. I made sure my wig was still in place and I got up to join Nami up front. At least it's nice to have another girl around.

"So…you don't have trouble with sharing a room filled with guys?" I asked and saw Nami giving me an odd bur serious look.

"No?" She squinted her eyes looking at me and looked back at the tides.

Weird…It's a shame I can't talk about girl things with her.

Luffy said he was searching for the last member to our team. Luffy is Captain, we have a navigator..well kinda that being Nami, the main fighter being Zoro, Usopp as the sniper and I fix anything on the ship

Since none of us are cooks. Luffy suggested on finding a chef. I offered to be the one to fill everyone's stomach, but everything I cook always ends up burnt.

The rest of us began to get things done on the ship until a fight began with another ship and the Going Merry crashed into a ship. My mouth fell open when we crashed and accidently directed a cannon ball into the ship that wasn't even attacking us.

"Crap…Luffy!" I shouted and saw him smiling shamefully.

All of us walked closer to the deck and saw the great damage the other ship received. "We better head in there and talk to the person in charge. And you are going to apologize." I said grabbing onto Luffy's straw hat and he quickly grabbed it back and placed it on his head.

He said nothing and began to follow us. We got onto the other ship and read the ships name, The Baratie.

I looked around and this seemed familiar. "You okay?" Nami stopped and asked glancing back at me.

"Yeah.. everything's fine." I said still looking around and ran over to her side and began to follow the rest of the crew.

We all entered the ship and wow was it beautiful and extremely fancy. "Wow..this is something else. It doesn't feel like we're in the middle of the sea." I said in awe and stared around.

Everything looked so expensive. I saw people around sharing their meals and couples smiling at each other and drinking fancy wine. Not to mention the smell, I wonder how the food must taste!

I was practically drooling when I saw a huge meal in a table. Nami had grabbed the back of my clothes and dragged me away from a couple who was staring at me weirded out.

"Get a hold of yourself, (Y/N)." Nami muttered and went to sit down on an empty table.

I nodded at myself then went back to checking the place out. This seems so familiar…I started to walk around and peeked over and saw many chefs cooking the meals and they seemed to make it so easy.

"I have an order for a large plate of seafood rice, potato pallie and medium sized bowl of sea pork soup. I need it done in less than 10 minutes!" My mouth began to water even more.

"All have it done in 5." Someone said on the other side with a British accent.

"(Y/N)!" Someone hissed my name and I quickly went over to sit next to Nami and Zoro. Luffy came in as well while we sat down and patiently waited to talk to someone.

I had excused myself after waiting for a bit and went to the bathroom. When I returned I saw Nami still sitting down and she raised an eyebrow looking not pleased when a man began walking towards her.

I felt my heart race when I saw a tall figure standing just a few inches away from her. A handsome man with blonde hair with one of his eyes being a bit hidden by it. He was wearing a dark suit with a blue and white striped shirt under it with a black tie and matching dress pants.

"Would the lady like something sweet?" I saw a smirk spread across his face and Nami just stared at him and rolled her eyes.

Who is he?? And does he know Nami? The man was clearly flirting with her.

"You gotta be joking." I heard Nami ssy. She then turned to look at me.

I didn't know what to do or say. I simply stared at her confused then looked to see the man look at me, he glanced for a second then once again and was now looking directly at me. He immediately walked away from Nami and began to walk towards me.

I began to take a few steps back and I gasped when he took hold of my hand with both of his hands and saw him get down on one knee.

"You are the most gorgeous being I've laid my eyes on. A sight no other I've come across in the Grand Line.."

Thank goodness Nami couldn't listen but it was quiet clear to anyone that this man was flirting with me.

"Y-You've got it all wrong!" I said trying to pull back and felt my cheeks turning red. I can't let anyone know at the moment that I was crossdressing as a guy!!

"I'm never wrong. My eyes never fail when I see a beautiful lady as yourself."

If I weren't in this situation I would be falling on my knees. He's so cute and handsome! My lips began to quiver and I felt my entire body freeze. I've never met a man who shameless at flirting with a stranger.

The man rose up to his feet now towering me and smiling down at me. "I-I…"

He smiled and Introduced himself. "My name is Sanji."

[roosterforme]

How Old Are You? | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Bob only gets one birthday every four years. When his wife, Molly, realizes it's almost Leap Day, she throws him a party any nine year old would love. And it's the perfect celebration for a thirty-six year old, too.

Warnings: Fluff, adult language, implied smut, 18+

Length: 2500 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC!Molly (this story accompanies The Curveball)

Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

Bob was half asleep in bed, post orgasm, when the weird conversation started. "So technically you're about to turn nine? Even though you'll be thirty-six? Is that right?"

He cracked his eyes open again as he watched his wife stretch her arms above her head, her nipple piercings glinting in the soft candlelight that had their bedroom aglow. She was nibbling on her lip, and he could practically see her mind working.

"Yeah," he answered cautiously. "Why do you have that expression on your face, Mo? Like you're plotting something scary?"

"I've never plotted something scary a day in my life!" she told him before leaning down and gently biting his bicep. "I was merely considering what I should get you for your special day."

"I don't need anything," he replied quickly, remembering the naked cowboy statue wearing glasses that she gifted to him last year.

"Well," she said, drawing out the single syllable. "That's where I think you're wrong, Bobby."

"Molly, I don't even want anything." Then he had an idea that he hoped would throw her off. "How about you get some pretty new barbells or rings and let me play with them?"

She rolled her eyes. "That would be a gift for me."

He shrugged as she draped herself across him. "Kind of for both of us when you really think about it."

Her soft lips found his jaw as she whispered, "But it's not every day you turn nine, Coach Cute Glasses. You deserve an extra special treat."

He shook his head in exasperation and said, "I'll really be thirty six though."

"Not according to the calendar." She kissed him sweetly before climbing over him to get out of the bed. "I'll go check on Charlie and Flora one last time before we go to sleep." Bob watched her slip his discarded undershirt on and smooth it down over her gorgeous body, perhaps a little more filled out now that they had two kids.

He reached for her hand and said, "Mo, we really need to sell the condo and get a bigger place. They can't share that tiny room forever."

Even though she told him all the time that she loved the condo and didn't want to leave it, she was finally starting to come around. "I think I'm ready to admit that you might be right about that, Uncle Bob."

"Really?" he asked, jolting up in bed.

She nodded and hummed. "Yes. Besides, your birthday party would be a lot easier to plan if we had more space to accommodate all the guests."

Bob groaned and flopped back down again, and Molly removed his glasses for him. "I don't need a birthday party," he insisted. "I just want a nice, quiet evening with you and the kids. Maybe your sister, Ev and Bradley, too, but that's it."

"We'll see," she replied before leaving the bedroom with a wicked smirk on her face.

----------------------------

"Can you get to my sister's house by noon on your birthday? For your party?" Molly asked as she watched Bob feed a mashed up banana to their one year old daughter. 

"I thought we ended that discussion with us both accepting the fact that I do not need a birthday party."

"Yeah... it's too late for that," she replied easily as she and Charlie both ate their own dinners. Molly's favorite hobby was keeping her husband on his toes. She figured his life would be sad and boring without her in it, and since he chose to be with her, he must have a deep-seated love for nonsense. She always made sure to bring it out for him, especially for his birthday. 

He gave her a stern look. "It's just a small party, right?"

"Sure, Bobby."

"I don't believe you."

"Oh come on," she whined. "This is your first real birthday since we met!"

She knew he would crack. He gave her what she wanted the vast majority of the time anyway, but when she whined for something harmless, it was always hers. 

"Fine."

And with that single word, Molly executed the most epic ninth birthday anyone could ever have. She called the vendors. She ordered the piñata. She invited the guests. She procured a balloon arch. And on Bob's birthday, her own sister and brother-in-law were looking at her with shocked expressions from their back deck when she started setting things up at eight in the morning. 

"I thought this was going to be a small party?" Bradley asked as he watched her assemble the red and yellow balloon arch. 

Molly just laughed. "That's just what I told Bob. I lied. The pony should be arriving soon."

"Pony?" gasped her sister. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard. Did you say a pony is arriving?"

"Yes," Molly said, speaking a little louder now to make her point. "How the hell are we supposed to have a cowboy birthday party without pony rides?"

Then Everett came tearing out onto the back deck, still in his pajamas, shouting, "Someone is bringing a horse around from the driveway!"

"See?" Molly asked as the pony and handler appeared in the backyard. "Ev is excited. He has good taste."

"He's ten!" Bradley snapped as he went running across the yard. "Is this thing going to tear up the grass that I spent months watering so it looked this nice?" But as soon as he saw how excited Everett was to pet the cute animal, Molly knew her brother-in-law would be on her side. It was just her sister glaring at her now.

"Whatever you mess up out here, you need to clean up. That includes the horse poop!"

"It's just a pony," Molly assured her, although the animal was a lot bigger than she expected. And yes, it was actually pooping. "It's fine. It'll be fine."

She was hoping it would be fine.

--------------------------

When Bob buckled Charlie and Flora back into their car seats in his truck at Myers park, he checked the time. It was almost noon. "Oh god," he groaned as he opened the driver's door. He had no idea what to expect, but the text from Bradley about how he was going to need help filling in the hoof prints in their yard next week had him on edge.

"Birthday party!" Charlie cheered from the backseat as Bob pulled out onto the main road. Molly had been talking about it so much, their son kept saying it over and over.

"That's right," Bob told him calmly. "But I'm pretty sure Mommy went bananas over the entire thing."

"Nana!" Flora crooned before she burst into tears. He should have known better than to mention her favorite food right in front of her like that. So he drove to his sister-in-law and brother-in-law's house with one delighted child and one who was crying hysterically. When he pulled down their block, there was absolutely nowhere to park, and there was a horse trailer parked right in front of the house. 

"Oh, no. No no no. Molly, no," he whispered. When he got closer, he saw the massive banner hanging on the porch that said Happy Birthday, Cowboy Bob. He had to squeeze his truck into the driveway behind the familiar blue Bronco while he gaped at the sight before him.

"Horse!" Charlie screeched. He wasn't wrong. There was some sort of pony walking around the backyard with Everett perched on top of the saddle wearing a cowboy hat. "I want the horse!"

"Okay," Bob told him as he shook his head and climbed out of the truck. He walked around to the back of the house with one child in each arm, and thankfully when Flora saw the pony, she stopped crying, perhaps out of fear. 

"Bob!" Molly shouted over the classic country music that was playing as she popped out of the enormous rodeo themed bounce house and ran to him. Literally everyone he'd ever seen in his life seemed to be here, and they were all wearing cowboy hats. Everyone from work was here. Like everyone. Cyclone was wearing a cowboy hat and drinking a beer. Bob thought he saw the doctor that Molly worked with who delivered both of their children. His parents and both of his sisters were here. His niece Piper was taking a turn riding the pony. There were indeed hoof prints in the yard.

Then Molly was somehow in his arms along with both kids, and she was kissing his neck as she said, "Happy birthday," in a voice that would have been a lot more appropriate for their bedroom. 

"Mo," he said, shaking his head. "There's a pony. It's making Bradley look constipated." 

She just rolled her eyes in response. "He'll get over it as soon as I offer to watch Everett for a few days over spring break so he and my sister can go away and do nasty stuff to each other."

Bob just smiled down at her and said, "You told me this would be a small affair."

"I guess I lied. Oops. Come say hi to Phoenix." She dragged him up onto the deck where Natasha took both kids from him with a kiss to his cheek, and then Molly was yanking his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, standing there in his undershirt with his glasses askew. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth, she was pulling another shirt over his head. It said Birthday Cowboy, and there was a number 9 that looked like it was shaped out of rope.

And that's when everyone started hugging him and running around to get him drinks and chat with him. Mickey was wearing cowboy boots and a cow print vest. Maverick was teaching the kids how to line dance. Bradley's scowl had started to ease up since Everett seemed to be having the time of his life. 

"Happy birthday, Uncle Bob," Everett said when he walked over. He hugged Bob and added, "Your birthday party is my favorite birthday party ever, and I can't believe it's in my yard!"

"Thanks, Ev," he replied with a laugh as he watched Molly and Flora dancing with Javy. "It is pretty cool."

"Happy birthday, Bob," his sister-in-law said, handing him a card. "You can open it later. We got you opening day tickets for the Padres. Also, I'm so sorry that my sister is so chaotic, but you should have known what you were getting into when you started dating her."

Bob accepted another kiss on his cheek. "She really can't be stopped once she gets going." 

"It's a waste of time to even try. Might as well sit back and enjoy the show."

He did, and the looser he got, the more fun he started to have. He pet the pony while Piper rode around on it. He smashed open a cowboy piñata with one of Everett's baseball bats. He jumped in the bounce house with Charlie and Everett, and Bradley even joined them.

"I'll help you fix your yard next week," Bob promised as Everett did a backflip. 

Bradley just laughed and said, "It's hard to be mad about it when Molly just wants everyone to have the time of their life. You're very lucky. Also, I don't know how you deal with her on a daily basis."

Bob laughed, too. "Sometimes I just take it one hour at a time."

"Get ready for cake!" Molly shouted, and it took five people to carry out the biggest sheet cake he'd ever seen in his life. It was cow print and decorated with boots and spurs, and said Happy 9th Birthday, Cowboy Bob!

After he blew out the nine candles he reached for Molly. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing her softly. "I didn't know I needed a ninth birthday party, but I guess I really did."

"You're only a kid once, Bobby," she replied, smiling against his lips.

"You do know I'm actually thirty-six, right?" he asked, pulling her snug against him as her sister started to cut up the cake. 

"Not according to the calendar," she responded, patting him gently on the cheek. "Your mom and I had a lovely conversation about how terrible you look for your age."

He tried not to smile, but it was useless. "I'm actually having the best day, Mo."

"I knew it all along."

---------------------------

Both kids were sound asleep as soon as Molly tucked them into bed. Charlie went on a sugar high and then crashed, and Flora was played with and held by seemingly everyone at the party. They would probably sleep for a solid twelve hours. Which was good, because Molly wanted to give her husband the rest of his birthday presents. 

She found him in their bedroom where he was opening up the cards he got with a soft smile on his face. "You have so many friends," she told him, and he turned to look at her. "Everyone loves Bob Floyd."

He actually blushed which made her want to rip all of his clothing to shreds and have her way with him. He shook his head slightly and said, "Everyone loves the amazing Molly Floyd and her beautiful imagination."

"Bobby," she moaned softly, taking the card from his hand and wrapping her arms around him. "Tell me more about how amazing I am."

He laughed and whispered, "You threw me the equivalent of a kids' ninth birthday party, just because you could. My dad participated in the pie eating contest. My mom learned how to line dance. Bradley almost popped a vein in his forehead. It was wonderful."

She sighed in contentment. "In four more years when you turn ten, we'll be in a bigger house, and we can host your party there. But we'll have to wait and see if you're still into cowboys or if your interests change, Kiddo. Now will you please open your present from me? And put on your cowboy hat? I've always wanted to suck a real cowboy's cock."

Bob grinned. "Molly, you suck my cock when I'm wearing my cowboy hat all the time."

"But you've never had assless chaps before."

Bob let out a strangled sound, and when he opened the box that was wrapped in cowboy paper, there were in fact assless chaps inside. "Please, please, please put them on," Molly moaned. "God, I feel like it's my birthday."

As soon as she started whining, he always gave her what she wanted. It was impossible not to. Five minutes later, Bob was standing in the middle of the bedroom wearing the chaps, his birthday shirt, and his old cowboy hat. Molly was panting and biting her knuckle, already obviously raring to go down on him, which just made him harder.

But she took a step toward him and then stopped, a devilish smirk on his face. "Now wait. I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma with you in that shirt. How old are you again?"

"I'm thirty-six," he replied blandly. 

"You sure about that, Cowboy Bob?"

"Molly! I'm thirty-six!"

"Okay, okay. Just checking," she said, reaching for the bottom of his shirt. "But let's just remove this anyway."

------------------------

I had a blast revisiting these two! I'm so deeply in love with Molly. I hope you enjoyed Bob's birthday celebration. Thanks for reading! And thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[redbleedingrose]

Rhys absolutely LOVES hip dips. Am I saying this because I have very prominent hip dips with thick thighs… yes…

I just want Rhys. That it’s.

Listen.... Do I have a firm belief that Illyrian males love their women chubby??? Yes. One thousand percent yes. NSFW 18+ in the last paragraph

Rhysand x Reader

Okay so listen, growing up... it was really hard to accept what you looked like. Your parents, particularly your mother, was always on top of you about your weight, harrassing you about the curves and extra chub on the side of your hips and arms. She always had something to say, and it really impacted the way you looked at yourself, the way you felt about yourself, and your confidence.

It took years to build up that confidence, and a lot of that is because of your extremely handsome mate if you know what I mean ;)

You were taught from a young age that males who look like Rhysand would never take a second glance at you, let alone even care enough to take a good enough first glance. But Rhys???

The first night he saw you, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He could feel his entire body alight with desire and need. The way your hair perfectly framed your full cheeks, your dress accentuating all of your curves, the plump of your breasts and the softness of your belly. The way your full hips swayed so alluringly to the music of the Starfall festival's different entertainers in the streets of Velaris. He just knew.

He knew everything and nothing all at once. Your pretty eyes locking with his darkened amythests. You couldn't believe you caught your high lords gaze. You couldn't even fathom you kept his gaze. You kept looking away, thinking he would have moved on to a prettier female, a thinner female. But there he was. Standing on the balcony of one of the famed restaurants of the Rainbow, looking down at you like you are the first and only star he has ever seen in a sky of darkness.

Every time you looked back, his eyes were on you. Only you. All over you, consuming you like a starved male. It was overwhelming to say the least, the most powerful high lord fixated so clearly on you. You did the only thing you could think, try to disappear within the crowd, to run home and hide away. It is what you have been taught to do all your life, make yourself small and hide away. Rhys didn't let you get too far though. Winnowing silently into a pace right next to you as you passed through the empty alley using a shortcut down to your little apartment on the Sidra, murmuring in a husk, "Leaving so soon, my pretty little peach?"

And you nearly tripped over, yelping from the heart attack he gave you. Your knees locked before you after frantically stepping back a foot, halting you from moving any further as you turned to face him, death incarnate, standing before you, a whole head a half taller than you with the darkness of the night seemingly rolling off his shoulders. The people of Velaris adore their high lord, night triumphant a common nickname for the male standing before you used by his commonwealth. But you can't help the anxiety that strikes your heart that begins to beat hard and fast enough, that you are nearly sure he can hear it with how he eases his hands up in surrender, violet eyes twinkling with the star of mischief eyeing at where your hand presses against your heaving chest. "My apologies dream, I didn't mean to startle you," an almost sheepish grin gracing his beautiful face, "You left in a hurry, and I wanted to make sure you were alright... safe."

Your shoulders drop a bit as you let out a sigh of relief, "I am fine, thank you Lord Rhysand, I was just --" "Rhys," he chimes softly, "Please call me Rhys."

You raise a brow at him, crossing your arms over your chest, making your cleavage even more tantalizing to the male before you. "Uh huh. Anyway, Lord Rhysand, as I was saying, I was just headed home. I've had a long night." The high lord chuckled at your sass, broad shoulders shaking as mirth filling his entire being as he shook at his head. His pretty little peach dream is fierce, Mother help him. "Let me walk you home," titling his head to the side as he shoved his tattooed hands into his pockets, trying to make himself appear less intimidating than the high lord he is.

Skepticism was clear on your face while you shifted on your feet, "Pardon, but don't you have better, more pressing things to do? You know, as high lord?" The handsome male shook his head again, this time, more firmly as he replied with conviction, "Not at all peach." You eyed him up and down again, trying to drink in aura standing before you, trying to analyze him for any hesitation on his part, and you couldn't see any. Letting your arms fall with a sigh, you nodded before continuing your walk silently.

And the rest was history.

It took years for you to give him your trust, your friendship, and even longer to give him your love. It wasn't that you didn't want to, but the fact that you just couldn't come to terms that someone like him, someone who looked as strikingly beautiful as him would want to spend time with you, would want to love you. And all throughout, you couldn't come to terms that the high lord found you attractive. It was an insecurity that raged like a fire constant and deep, a fire that couldn't be put out until decades into your relationship.

And in all that time, Rhys spent every second loving all of you. Even the parts that you hated, he couldn't get enough of. Your curves, specifically your hips, gods those hip dips, and your tummy. Your body made him feral inside. It was a drive he had, a natural instinctual drive, to make you his. Your body was that of a goddess, and he knew it. And he wanted to make sure you knew it too.

It started with small compliments here and there, about your hair, how it flowed perfectly and framed your face. Then, he moved to your face; how it glowed under the light of the stars, how your full cheeks looked beautiful when you smiled. He cautiously moved to your body. Adoring how you fit in your dresses, the way your hips would sway and the pudge of your thighs, how they made perfectly good cushions for his head to rest on while he whined about the difficulties of running the court. How your tummy was perfect in every way, how it made him feel so proud, that his girl was healthy and never had to worry about being hungry. He often thought about things like your tummy growing with his babes. How your breasts were so full and soft. He often thought that your tits would hold the best milk for his babes when he pumps you full of them.

And then he moves forward with making you feel more comfortable with yourself. Showing you that he can handle all of you, that he wants to handle all of you. He forces you to sit on his lap no matter where you are, whether it is at the dining table with the other inner circle members or out drinking in Rita's or conferencing with other high lords. Your throne is his lap. He also cherishes the way the chub of your hips feel under his hands, he handles them constantly. If he needs you to shift to the side or moves behind you, he will move you over using your love handles with a gentle tap to your ass and a kiss to the cheek.

The male is just needy for you.

He wants to grip at the meat on your thighs with his rough hands while you bounce on his large cock. He needs to see your soft tits and tummy giggle while he spears in and out of you. He wants to spread you out on the dining table and eat you out like you were his last meal. He wants to bury his face in your tits, suckling on your rock hard nipple while he pinches and rolls the other. He wants to leave marks all over the fat that sits above your hips, on your chubby thighs, on your neck and shoulders. He wants everyone to know and see who you belong to.

Anyway, yeah he is an utter slut for hip dips and for you.

(The other Bat boys and Vanserra Bros also love their females chubby)

Masterlist

[akajustmerry]

I didn't really like the helmet grab by Michonne in towl. I didn't think it was necessary for them to make her do that even though I know they were trying to show how angry she was. Am I overthinking this?

forgive me but I actually think you're not thinking enough. You're not thinking about what's happened from michonne's perspective. even if you were, you're not extending her any empathy because writing off her as just "angry" does not cut it here

....Michonne had to carry on believing rick was dead for FIVE YEARS, raising their kids despite that grief and then when she was given the smallest hope he was alive she gave up another 2 years with her kids, risking her life in the wastelands, surviving chlorine poisoning, and enduring more fucking trauma with nothing keeping her going but the fact that she loved him and would not give up looking...... AND THEN she finds him against all those odds and rick had the CAUCACITY to try and trick her into ABANDONING HIM and insinuate that she DOESN'T TRULY LOVE HIM UNLESS SHE DOES??? of fucking COURSE she rips that dumb fucking helmet off his head!! she wants him to say that nonsense to her FACE, hear how insane it sounds, and be greeted with the only appropriate response to an assertion so ludicrous: silence.

When my dad and I watched that episode we both agreed rick actually got off easy for trying to pull that shit after what michonne had been through. My dad even left the room when rick was bragging about his stoopid plan to trick michonne into leaving to jadis because my dad is very sensitive to second hand embarrassment and rick was so fucking idiotic for trying to do that to michonne and thinking it would work.

ALSO.....something that I've ranted about before is this idea of an empathy gap between how people see white characters and characters of colour (ESPECIALLY Black characters) because such is the racism of the world that people simply don't empathise or even sympathise with characters of colour because they've been conditioned not to. Years of racist media conditions you to empathise with white characters almost instinctively even when they're wrong. In this case, rick was wrong. Totally wrong, despite his intentions. He was dishonest, condescending, and inconsiderate. Michonne had every right to be angry and every right to show him how angry she was. The fact that you're uncomfortable with that maybe means you haven't really paid mind to what michonne has been through and maybe you haven't done that because she's a Black woman. Personally, I loved that scene so much and I also love all the scenes in ep4 where she's pissed off because michonne isn't just rick's love interest she's a protagonist in her own right and she's NEVER not once accepted less, even from him.

anyway, hope you don't think I'm being mean! I've just seen weird discourse about that scene that is so unnecessary. It simply wouldn't be a thing if people actually cared about michonne as a character, rather than just as one half of a ship.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

So uh. Maybe I'm just really stupid, but despite being in this fandom for a year now I for some reason was convinced that Killcheroy killing herself was like, canon, because of how widely accepted that theory is in the fandom and spoken of as if it's fact. But after looking through all of Fuuta's stuff again (voice dramas, music videos, the like,) I've come to realize that not only is Killcheroy's actual cause of death never actually confirmed, but I've also realized something else: Y'all I really do not think this girl killed herself lmao. In fact, I am very confident that she didn't kill herself, mainly due to the fact that, as we know, Milgram has a very specific motif when it comes to characters who have committed suicide or have themes of suicide in their character

Mahiru and Kazui's victims both have a shoe off, because both of them died via suicide

Muu is often presented with only one shoe, because she is implied to be suicidal

Fuuta's victim also has a shoe off, because as we know she died of-- ...Huh? Oh shit. Both shoes are intact. Now I've seen people, though often briefly, point that out before What I don't see pointed out however is that Backdraft has three perfect opportunities to follow up on the shoes motif, and just doesn't.

These are the first two I wanna talk about. Killcheroy's shoes are perfectly in view, yet both of them are still in tact. Since this whole scene is basically a creative reenactment of Killcheroy's death, wouldn't it make sense for one shoe to be off if suicide was what took her out? But at the same time, these scenes are still depicting her when she is 'alive,' so maybe it wouldn't make that much sense for a shoe to be off in this particular scene. But what about after she burns up? That's where the third scene comes in

Even after she dies, her shoes are not there. Milgram is a series that loves including small, blink-and-you'll-miss-it details. If Killcheroy really killed herself, there's no way her shoes wouldn't be visible in these shots as Fuuta's running away, right? And this shoe motif, coupled with the fact that when looking at what we have, there's no actual evidence that Killcheroy killed herself (to my knowledge) makes me doubt this theory a lot more than I had when I originally assumed it was canon. So what do I think took Killcheroy out? Well, though we have no evidence that she killed herself, we do have evidence that Fuuta doxxed her.

(x) Storm Pazuzu Should we destroy her?＾＾Just because you’re a middle school girl doesn’t mean you can act like this lmaooooo don’t go easy on her just because she’s cute  QRT Miss Magic I got permission from the store owner, it’s allowed as long as I’m only replicating it for personal use. Storm Pazuzu Yeah, yeah, thanks for the late excuses QRT Storm Pazuzu I think I’ve got all her details now. Based on her previous tweets I’ve worked out her school. The fact she lives so close is hilarious lol Judgement☨Onizuka You’re the worst offender of all

And the fact that this scene transitions

to this one, where Fuuta is reacting to the news of Killcheroy's death, leads me to believe that this doxxing was the final bridge that caused Killcheroy's death. Now, a lot of life-threatening events can result from doxxing, for a while I was even pondering the possibility that Killcheroy was swatted and killed that way. But I think someone in Fuuta's group killed her, because the text in the MV makes it a note to specify that Killcheroy "lives close" to Fuuta and presumably the rest of his friend group since they all go to the same university and live in the same area. I can see people arguing that that would remove a bit of Fuuta's agency and responsibility from his murder, but I don't think I would agree with that. Regardless of what truly happened to Killcheroy after the doxxing, whether she was killed by someone in the group, or swatted (which I think is less likely, but is still a possibility), this presumed culprit was only able to do the things they did because Fuuta gave them the tools to. He gave them a target, Killcheroy, who he demonized and dehumanized into the role of Petulant Witch, and enough details of her location for anyone in the area to find her and enact punishment in the most direct way they can. Fuuta's story, to me anyway, isn't just about the consequences of cyberbullying and cancel culture, but also the cult-mentality of it and how others are influenced into it.

(x) Storm Pazuzu The people in charge here are shit. I could do a much better job

Fuuta did not come out of the womb cancelling people, but due to the injustice he saw around him and his desire to Do Something About It, he was influenced into this cesspool of online toxicity and cancel culture.

Now, it's his turn to influence justice. And boy, did he.

[ashwhowrites]

can i please request something with eddie and cheerleader reader? i just love it so much and i basically can’t find any i haven’t already read. maybe something where the reader is judged and hurt by all his friends for being popular at first (cause i love a little angst) but obviously they come around, but really anything you want bc i’m obsessed with your writing and will be happy with anything THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I LOVE CHEERLEADER READER

"wait...Y/N asked you out? The cheerleader? Miss popular? Rich daddy? That Y/N?" Gareth asked, Eddie stood across from him, cheeks red, apparently just got back from being asked out on a date.

"yes! I can't believe it" Eddie exclaimed excitedly, he's had a thing for Y/N for years, and he never once thought she'd look in his direction. But she was, and she was staying put.

"Eddie, are you sure that's a good idea? We know how those popular kids can be" Mike warned, eyes looking back to Y/N, her giggling with her friends. He was worried for Eddie, he didn't want him to get hurt.

"look I know she's popular and I went on countless rants about how they are here to ruin the world, but come on! It's Y/N! I've been praying for a moment like this" Eddie explained, he definitely wasn't going to say no just because his friends didn't seem convinced.

~~

Before hellfire knew it, Eddie and her were together. And always together. She was holding his hand, kissing him against the lockers, wearing his jacket, and sitting with them at lunch. She was everywhere and hellfire couldn't stand it.

Dustin liked her though. She was funny and had a nerdy side. It was easy to tell Eddie adored her. He looked at her like she held the stars personally to shine for him.

"I'm thinking I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend, officially" Eddie delivered the news, seconds before hellfire exited the school

"really? You sure?" Lucas questioned, a worried look in his eyes

"yes. I have no doubt she'll say yes. We have so much fun together. She seems to really like me. It's been a month of dates and kissing. Why would she say no?" Eddie argued. He had his mind set on her. There wasn't any reason why she'd say no.

"it's just are you sure it's genuine? Not a dare?" Gareth brought up, all boys agreeing

"I don't think she's like that. She's going to say yes, good luck" Dustin defended. Eddie sending him a grateful smile

~~

On his way out Gareth found Y/N walking to Eddie's van, just leaving practice as she stood in his jacket.

"Gareth hi!" She cheered as he walked up

"hey, look we need to talk" he wasn't going to let Eddie get hurt, not by someone who could move on way easier than Eddie ever could

"yeah what's up?" She asked worried, swallowing herself in Eddie's jacket as she shivered against the cold

"Eddie is going to ask you to be his girlfriend," her face lit up at the news. Excitement rushed through her as she felt herself ready to break out into her own personal cheer, "but you need to say no"

"wait what?"

"it's just that Eddie doesn't belong in that popular crowd. He thinks he can handle it but he can't. He'll be insecure, uncomfortable, and he won't be himself. Do you want that? Do you want him to have to pretend to be someone else for your little crowd to accept him? " Gareth was digging up anything he could to make her second guess this relationship. He was learning fast that she wasn't quite easy to just push over

"that's not true. My friends already love him. He hangs out with us all the time at parties and sometimes he comes with to my team dinners. Even guys on the basketball team like to talk to him. He gets to be himself " she defended, she wouldn't allow her friends to disrespect Eddie or make him insecure.

"and what about what his friends think of you?" Gareth snapped, he was running out of arguments. Maybe he needed to make her insecure

"what do you mean?" Her hard face cracked slightly. She always feared hellfire didn't like her and she had a feeling it was going to be confirmed.

"we don't like you, none of us. We don't like you hanging around and being attached to Eddie's hip. Soon we'll refuse to be in the same room with you. Making Eddie split his time between his friends and new girlfriend. And that's always a problem down the road, And when it comes down to Eddie picking between us and you, who do you think he's going to pick?" With that he walked away. Smirking to himself as he watched her face fall

~~

"hey gorgeous. How was practice?" She smiled sadly as Eddie walked up to his van. A big smile on his face as he reached to grab her in a hug

She hugged him hard, allowing herself to feel his hard chest against her cheek.

"it was fine. How was the campaign?" Pulling away to look at him. He excitedly talked about it as he got in the car, and the whole way to her house. She listened closely, she loved listening to Eddie talk. He put so much time and creativity into it

Once he pulled up to her house, he grabbed her hands. She had a feeling it was coming, the way he took a deep breath and shyly looked at her

"so I've been thinking about how much I love spending time with you and I really like you. And I want to be with you, like officially. Do you want to be my girlfriend?" She hated how excited he looked. How nervous his hand was holding hers. And how his eyes were so soft. And she knew this was going to be just as hard for her to stay as it will be for him to hear.

"no Eddie. I'm sorry" she choked out, flinging herself out of the car as fast as she could. Slamming the front door behind her and racing to her bedroom.

Eddie stared at the empty passenger seat for a good few minutes before his brain understood what happened. She said no? She actually said no. He swallowed down the bitter taste and reversed out of her driveway. Guess him and Dustin were wrong.

~~

"how did it go?" Dustin asked excitedly as Eddie walked into the lunchroom, finally seeing him

But as he took a closer look, Eddie seemed sad. He didn't have the energetic aura or the childish smile

"she said no"

The table went silent, everyone looking at him and sneaking a look to where she generally sat before she met Eddie

Eddie looked to her table, watching as she played with her plate, looking down

"I'm sorry man" Gareth comforted, laying a hand on Eddie's shoulder

"I just don't know why. I mean we've been together every day for a month. If she didn't like me why would she be around me for so long?" It didn't make sense to Eddie. She looked sad when she said no, and she ran out of the car like it was on fire.

"cheerleaders man" Gareth scoffed

~~

It probably was smart to always be looking at him but she couldn't help it. It's only been two days and she missed him terribly. She hated that she couldn't walk up to him and ask him about his day. Or kiss his lips. Or sit in his van and listen to his music.

He always stared back. Questioning her for saying no but spending her time staring at him.

But she did it for him, she wouldn't make him pick and put his friends in that position. They knew him first, and that's just how it was

~~

Gareth's intentions didn't work out well for him. Eddie was sad and snapping at everyone. He grew even more insecure, his confidence was taking hits and he just shut down.

"I mean I know she's way out of my league but I just thought maybe you know? God I'm an idiot. I'm a freak and live in a trailer, of course she didn't want to be official. Probably embarrassed to call me her boyfriend. Meet her family"

Gareth felt guilt eating at him the more Eddie talked. He just made Eddie doubt himself even more about everything.

He needed to fix what could have been amazing.

~~

Y/N was walking out of the gym when she spotted Gareth, a small smile on her lips as she began to walk passed him

"wait! Can we talk?" She tensed at his voice, turning around

"about what?" She asked quietly. She needed to go home before she saw Eddie. It's been getting too hard

"I wanted to apologize. I made all that shit up. Eddie is my best friend and I just wanted to protect him. But all I did was hurt him and hurt a girl that seems to really care about him" Gareth apologized

"thank you for your apology" she said with a nod, going to turn back around

"wait! Please talk to him. He really likes you and he's hurting"

She kept her back to him but nodded her head, walking away

Gareth felt himself smile when she turned to left, not the direction of the parking lot

~~

Eddie cleaned up the remainder pieces of the campaign when someone knocked on the door

"open"

He didn't bother to look up, zipping up his backpack when a hand touched his arm

He snapped his eyes up and was across from Y/N

"hey Eddie" she said quietly

"um hey" he whispered, his body was on fire from the smallest touch. He didn't know why she was here but he didn't want to ask her to leave

"I have a small confession about why I said no"

Her eyes were soft but he felt like her words were a punch to his gut. He was once again reminded she said no. She didn't want to be his girlfriend

"do tell" he smirked, trying to lighten the atmosphere, make it less serious and tense

"Gareth kinda pressured me into saying no. He admitted that none of your friends like me, which I get being popular and all, and he said it would divide your time. At the end of the road you'd have to pick so I just thought it would be easier to beat you to the punch. I'm sorry, you don't know how bad I wanted to say yes. And how bad I still do. But hellfire is your main source of happiness, I couldn't ruin that" her hand made its way to his hand, holding it loosely giving him the chance to let it go. But he gripped it harder.

"I never knew he did that. I'm sorry. You are nothing like what they think you are, that's why I like you. At the end of the day I want to be with people who want me to be happy. If they can't accept you or be happy for me then they aren't as good of friends as I thought they were. Gareth and I are best friends, we'll make it work. But I'm not going to let another person decide for us" he cupped her jaw softly, smiling down at her

She smiled at his words, finally feeling something other than sadness from the last few days

"should we do this thing Munson?"

"oh definitely" he laughed, kissing her softly, moving his lips gently against hers

He pulled away with a quick peck

Speaking against her lips, "I'll deal with Gareth later, right now I need to scream in the parking lot that you are my girlfriend"

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming

@eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255

[fareehaandspaniards]

Miquella is nice

After finishing the DLC, Miquella made me think a lot. Before the DLC, he had a rather… one-sided image, I don't know what else to call it. He was incredibly kind, and we saw references for his connection to St. Trina initially (because we still remember Gwyndolin, who lived as girl. And we know Fromsoftware loves the archetype of the sad feminine young man). Miquella was a victim, was a martyr, and was an incredibly kind soul who prayed for Godwyn and invented a true miracle - the Golden Needle, which can help to hold the rot.

But the DLC absolutely turned his image upside down! And it makes me very sad to see a character's incredible transition and acquisition of a new layer of morality (gray) labeled as "bad writing" and "fuck GRRM he spoiled my baby boyy :(((((".

Today after talking with my spouse (He always helps me realize any fragments of lore. Sometimes I have a hard time understanding the simplest things that everyone has long understood and accepted. Also! Happy birthday to my beloved!), I could only finally understand why everyone is getting so worked up about Michella, even though we've had a scenario similar to his "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions" a long time ago. That was Laurence, everyone's favorite in Bloodborne, and Gwyn (he really wanted good things and it didn't turn out well :/), etc. I'll also remind you that the fandom (in the general sense) of Fromsoftware games is very fond of villains, and that's fine. But for some reason, when Miquella turned out to be not the good guy everyone wanted him to be, no one appreciated it. And I tried to defend him to the last in a discussion with my husband - Miquella sacrificed everything for the "greater good" in his understanding of the word, Miquella went the way of renunciation, Miquella knew how to love and loved his sister, Miquella wanted to correct all the sins of the past.

However, unlike most Fromsoftware villains, Miquella HIDES his atrocities (even from himself). Nashandra, Shabriri, Micolash, anyone - their motives are clear. They have principles, egos, backstories, justifications for wanting to be a destructive factor, some have these reasons built in at birth, some are insane, etc. Miquella, on the other hand, finds followers by Dishonest means, condemns Radahn to suffering for which to end the festival is organized, leaves his sister to die, condemns Mohg to be a puppet in his scheming, and still thinks of himself as a VIRTUE. He believes that the era he is about to found - will be good and bright. And with words of goodness he kills us in battle with Radahn!

Miquella is a golden apple with a very rotten core. We don't know, really, at what point he started to "rot". What's funny is that of the two twins, Malenia was rotten on the outside and he was rotten on the inside.

Miquella's center is in love. He carries self-love everywhere, charming and falling in love with almost everyone. That is why Malenia says, "My brother will keep his promise. He possesses the wisdom, the allure, of a god - he is the most fearsome Empyrean of all." I think he is the type of child who got used to being loved. The problem with this type is that he can become a wonderful person, or he can turn into a monster who will take love and attention at any cost. (My spouse reminded me here of stories of crazed maniacs who kidnapped those they loved and dreamed of a nonexistent future, not realizing the damage they were doing.)

But there are many questions that, perhaps, everyone should answer for themselves?

What vow did Miquella make to Malenia?

In my opinion, Malenia was not charmed by him. I've always wondered WHY she waits for Miquella at the cocoon in the Tree, even though it clearly shows Miquella being stolen???? She knew, she probably knew his plan originally. She had been waiting for his return like a god. But what had he promised? That when he returned, he would cure her of the rot permanently?

When did Miquella begin his "fall"?

There is no denying that Miquella was a good guy. He tried, he tried to help his loved ones. He looked up to Radahn as a child with respect, as the description of Remembrance of a God and Lord says. Miquella was in harmony with his other self, Trina. But what changed him? Failures? The desire to save everyone at once? The desire to be the most loved? To be perfect - a god? I'm inclined to think it was all of those things that corrupted him at once. After all, as a favorite child, he may have been flawed deep inside from the beginning.

Miquella had resurrected Radahn as a young, beautiful warrior, just as he had been before. But Radahn does not utter a single phrase during the battle, and his movements are more automatic. Radahn feels nothing, and it makes me think more and more that he's more like Miquella's wish come true, his hope of having a worthy consort he loved by his side.

Is Radahn a puppet or a future lord?

Nothing has been confirmed. I've also read that Miquella's spell was broken when his rune was split, that's how many NPCs come to their senses and realize everything. But I think his power would be enough to, like a necromancer, control a resurrected one? And honestly, it's unlikely Radahn would have wanted such a fate. He was holding back fate itself, the stars, so that what did happen to him in the DLC wouldn't happen. Thanks to Miquella, Malenia had turned Caelid into a solid rotten mess and blossomed her divine flower, and left Radahn in an insane state waiting for a noble death at the hands of other warriors. Miquella mutilated him. I don't think Radahn would have appreciated his methods, considering how dedicated he is to warriorship and uprightness, and also honors Godfrey.

What would have happened if the Age of Compassion had happened?

I think it would have been VERY bad. And after a major flourish of life and honoring Miquella, there would have been a decline and another Shattering. Miquella shows himself to be a man who does not tolerate dissent. I think there would have been a flowering of the Inquisition, persecution, murder, and brutal tyranny. And Radahn, most likely, would have simply been "squeezed out" by Miquella and destroyed by his boundless love. Yes, Miquella rejects his love, as @jarognieva correctly pointed out. But he rejected, in my understanding (we need a clear translation from Japanese here), his destined love, i.e., his intended spouse, Trina? Just as Radagon was Marika's spouse. Our Marika is a deity, but she is capable of love - her love for her son, Godwyn, caused her heart to break.

Fandom cancelled Mohg, now he is cancelling Miquella. People don't accept and don't want to comprehend the things that make them change points of view. That's how the witch hunt begins! So stop being shitty and decide for yourself what you think of Miquella before claiming him a "bad written character"

Miquella, as a character, has become an incredible bastard, manipulative and truly evil with a mask of piety. He doesn't go into battle as an honest warrior, he uses others. He "sacrifices" himself by actually sacrificing everyone else. But doesn't that make him MORE interesting?

He's broken a lot of headcanons, but I sincerely hope that the wave of love for him as a VERY gray character will still come! After all, he's a worthy villain archetype! A true evil hidden in a pure soul. How many fanfics, how many musings can be spawned from that. No need to deny him, rather try to accept Miquella for who he is. And don't make it into "good" or "evil". There's a particular aesthetic to how awful Miquella is.

[starzzmissthesun]

i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33

:DD

Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔

But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭

Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.

Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.

Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.

Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁

[doggernaut]

#19 for the ask game!

19. What headcanon do you always include in your stories?

Headcanons! I love them! I have a few. Some I explicitly include and others often (always?) inform my writing, even if they aren't mentioned on page. Here are a few favorites:

Jack Zimmermann is bi and demisexual. Full stop.

Suzanne and Coach Bittle aren't bad, homophobic parents. They are maybe a little clueless and awkward, but they want the best for Bitty and once he comes out to them they accept him. This is a little tangential, but I will always believe that that scene of Suzanne telling Bitty that she wants him to come home for the rest of the summer after he comes out to her would take place even if Bitty were straight and his partner were female. My read on her is that as the mother of an only child, she's terrified somebody is going to come along to take her son away from her. I think (and canon backs me up: see Coach and Jack reacting to the jam argument in Christmas in Madison) Coach is more awkward but ultimately more easy going, and ends up really being the voice of reason/ally Bitty (and Jack) need over the years when dealing with Suzanne. I've incorporated this into a few different fics.

Bitty can be his own worst enemy. He makes a lot of assumptions about how people perceive him and it often gets him in trouble (or, at the very least, causes unnecessary stress). This character trait is established in canon ("Jack hates me." "My parents will reject me if they know the truth about me.") and it's fun to play with it in fic.

Jack, in retirement, has a dad bod. Look, twenty-five-year-old professional athlete Jack Zimmermann, with abs that can grate cheese, is the subject of twenty-year-old Bitty's very detailed fantasies and exactly what he wants at that point in his life. But forty-something-retired Jack, who has nothing left to prove, is comfortable enough in his own skin to relax a little and has a body that reflects his life with Bitty (dessert every night). That Jack is the subject of forty-something-Bitty's very detailed fantasies and exactly what he wants at this point in their lives. He's the dad all the kids and pets want to cuddle with and is still strong enough to carry all the kids to bed at once. Still strong enough to carry Bitty to bed. It should be assumed that this softer Jack is the Jack that shows up in any fic I write in which he's no longer playing professional hockey, even if not explicitly stated. (Related: Bitty has a much harder time with getting older and frequently needs Jack's reassurance that he still finds him attractive. I think Bitty's logic about this is something like: "I know Jack loves me and finds me attractive BUT he didn't notice me that way until after I cut my hair and started eating protein and doing all the squats, so even though aging is inevitable, if I don't maintain that standard he's going to stop finding me attractive." See: what I wrote earlier about Bitty making a lot of unfounded assumptions about what others think of him.)

Jack's anxiety comes from Alicia. Look at Alicia's eyes in 24 Hour Celly. Those are Jack's anxiety eyes. (I know those links go to the whole comic not the exact panels but they're there, I promise.) I'm currently working on something that digs deeper into this headcanon.

Tater + Vanessa Channel 7 = 4 Eva. Why? It just feels right.

Oh, and one more. I know a lot of people headcanon Chowder as being from San Francisco proper but I have always headcanoned him as being from San Jose and growing up playing youth hockey with the club affiliated with the Sharks.

Thank you for this question! This is probably way more than you were asking for!

[kkurisuac]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞

Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem Y/n

warning: kinda fluff, some angst, childhood friends to strangers to lovers

"I don't believe in love. Why is that a problem?", I asked, because I didn't understand why everyone was so upset about it.

"Because love is wonderful and you have to experience it. But if you don't believe love exists, you can't experience it!" Aki argued for her right.

"Aki-chan is right." Yuzuha agreed with Aki.

"I also agree with Aki-san." Hakkai also said.

"Takashi say you're with me." I looked at my best friend.

"I don't know. I've never felt love so I don't know whether to believe in it or not." Takashi replied which was totally justified.

"Love is like when you feel butterflies in your stomach, you get excited as soon as you see them, in your eyes they are perfect, you just think of them and then you feel happy, you want to see them, smell their scent, hear their voice laughing, see their smile." Aki outlined love.

"Oh, that's love. Then Aki is right, you really have to experience it." Takashi stood by Aki's side.

"Mitsuya as you said that maybe you have felt it too?" asked Aki excitedly.

"Maybe. Maybe there is a special person for me." Takashi said mysteriously. At this statement, we were all surprised and couldn't speak suddenly.

"Is there someone you haven't mentioned a word about? What Takashi?" I asked first.

"I don't have anyone, she's just special to me, but she doesn't know that." Takashi replied simply.

"Then tell her Mitsuya!" said Aki.

"Who's the girl Takashi?" I asked, since he never mentioned anything about her to me. But he just smiled at me and the others looked at each other knowingly as if they knew something.

"What now? What did I miss?" I looked at them all, but they just laughed at me.

"That should be a secret Y/n." Takashi said.

"Since when is it a secret if everyone knows but me?" I huffed, I think rightfully so.

"Don't worry Y/n-chan we don't know either." tried to reassure Yuzuha, but she was clearly lying.

I didn't question it further because I knew they wouldn't tell me. So it remains an eternal mystery to me who Takashi is in love with.

Me, Aki, Yuzuha, Hakkai and Takashi were always together. We did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun. Until I got a job offer overseas.

I was always working for the world to know me for once and I managed to do it. So leaving my friends behind I went to a completely new place without knowing anyone. It was a rough first few months, especially because before I left Takashi confessed his feelings. I couldn't accept them and I couldn't do anything about the fact that he loved me, because I never believed in love and so I couldn't reciprocate the feelings I didn't even know a little bit about. So I started my new life without the most important friend in my life.

So our friendship broke up and I didn't come back to Japan for years because no one was expecting me back. Even though they were very important to me, we couldn't keep in touch and I missed out on everything anyway. But now I'm back after seven years because it seemed like a good idea, but it's not. I don't want to meet anybody.

But I had to come back because I have a job here. It's the least I could do, because I could manage not to meet them, but I have to work with Aki and Hakaki. The ones who are most angry at me for leaving them behind. Okay, Hakkai is mostly mad at me for hurting Takashi. The only person who's indifferent to me is Yuzuha, so it's a bittersweet return.

"So I have to go to the design house alone? But I don't want to go alone!" I said to my manager who was busy.

"Y/n stop being a baby and go." he slammed the phone down on me.

"But-" I would have argued, but there was no one on the other end of the line. I was screwed.

I made my way to the place in agony, hoping to get hit by a car. I knew Aki and Hakkai would be there, but it was going to be embarrassing. I should never have taken this job.

I walked as slowly as I could, but still made it to the office quickly. I didn't go in straight away because I needed to build up the strength to face them after seven years. I don't want to see the dislike in their eyes, they are my dear friends.

I can do it, they are not strangers. "Hey." I greeted as soon as I entered and was afraid to look up, but I could feel everyone looking at me. But when I looked up, my eyes met Takashi's. What is he doing here? He was the only one we needed.

"Y/n-chan! You're more beautiful than in the pictures." Yuzuha hugged me and she was the only one who was at all happy to see me, but at least I only have to face three people who don't welcome me here.

"Thank you Yuzuha." I said awkwardly and I didn't know what to do with myself now, even though I didn't know until now.

"You've changed a lot Y/n." Takashi said, which really surprised me, because I thought he would be the only one who wouldn't talk to me. "This is not true. I am the same person I was. But you're all different." I looked at them, but I didn't look them in the eye. I meant what I said, because they really are completely different. I mean, the way they look is not the same as when I left them.

"This is really awkward, so let's get to work. Y/n sit here." Yuzuha said after getting tired of the tense atmosphere.

"Are these your drawings Takashi? These are just wonderful. I mean, it's not surprising, since you used to be talented. But I don't quite understand why we're looking at these now." I said when I saw Takashi's drawings. But everyone just looked at me with big blinks.

"Y/n-chan, you haven't seen these drawings?" asked Yuzuha in surprise.

"No? Should I have?" I asked back.

"So you didn't even know that Mitsuya is the designer of the clothes and you have to work with him?" continued Yuzuha. This can't be true! How could I work with someone for weeks who I rejected years ago and then left behind?

"No… Takashi I'm going to wear your clothes? So that's why you're here?" it occurred to me, what was he doing here

"I bet you didn't read the contract properly." Yuzuha sighed, knowing what I was like. I really could have been hit by a car.

"Maybe I just read it sloppily." I was ashamed, and the others laughed at me. Except for Aki, who didn't even twitch a muscle.

"You're right, you haven't changed a thing." Takashi said.

"Y/n then I would take off your sizes." Takashi said and pushed the others out.

It was very embarrassing to be alone with him, and it made me feel even more embarrassed to have to stand in front of him in my underwear. But I'm a model, so that shouldn't be a problem for me. It wouldn't be if it wasn't Takashi.

"And what's it like to return to Japan after seven years?" asked Takashi, to relieve some tension.

"It's honestly wonderful. I've always loved living here and none of the countries compare to Japan, even though I've been to so many places." I replied happily, because it was the first time someone had asked me about it and I always felt comfortable around Takashi by default.

"Which was your favourite? Although I bet it was Italy." he looked at me, but I couldn't keep eye contact because it was a bit awkward.

"You continue to know me well. I loved every minute of it when I was there. I'm sure you would have loved it too. Although you may have been there before, you're actually a famous fashion designer that only I didn't know about." I immersed myself in the conversation. Takashi always knew how to relax me when I was tense.

"Yes, I've been there with Aki. And it was really amazing." he smiled at me. "We're done." he added.

At least Takashi isn't as mad at me, I mean not as mad as I thought he would be. I thought he wouldn't even look at me. That's a relief, I hope the others will be able to forgive me because we'll be working together for the next six weeks.

"Can I walk you home, Y/n?" asked Hakkai after I got out of the office. I was quite surprised, because I hadn't expected this at all. It was difficult to talk to Hakkai anyway, because he was always too embarrassed, but I got better at talking to him as time went by, but seven years have passed since then.

"If I don't bother you, I will.", I said, afraid of what he would say, because he was always an important friend of mine.

"I missed you so much Y/n-chan." Hakkai said sincerely and I was incredibly happy.

"Don't you hate me?" I asked, surprised.

"No, I was just a little mad at you, but not like Aki-chan." she said. I was really worried for nothing.

"Aki is really mad at me after all this time, even though she would have done the same thing if she were me." I said my opinion which Hakkai agreed with. She was my best friend and I put her through joining our little group of friends. However, for some reason, she didn't take it too well that I had received an overseas offer. We have not been friends since.

"Aki-chan has changed a lot since you left. She's become very jealous since then and has completely abandoned that hopeless love-girl self." Hakkai described Aki, and I was surprised, because Aki was famous for being selfless and childish.

"But why? What happened?", I asked, because I couldn't understand the reason, my ex-best friend couldn't have changed so much for that.

"You and Aki were best friends, you supported her and she tried to live up to you." Hakkai said, and I just listened in confusion. I'm inattentive, but not that inattentive. "And she was always very jealous of you because you got a job in America because of your many years of success here, and she was very upset by that. But this is mostly about Taka-chan." Hakkai told me, and I listened in surprise, because I knew nothing about it. But what does Takashi have to do with it? Sure, Takashi is her friend too, but I didn't hurt him enough to make Aki hate me.

"Takashi? What does he have to do with this?" I asked, increasingly confused.

"Taka-chan loved you first, not Aki-chan." Hakkai said simply, as if I was supposed to understand.

"Because Takashi loves Aki?" asked I, still not understanding what was going on. Okay, maybe I am being too careless after all.

"Aki-chan and Taka-chan are engaged. Don't you know anything?" he asked indignantly that I didn't know that either. That's quite a plot twist.

"How was I supposed to know? But honestly!" I said nervously that he holds me to account, even though he wasn't talking to me.

"Okay, you're right. Then let's start with the fact that you rejected Taka-chan, he was very down, and Aki happened to be right next to him. That's how their relationship started and then they got engaged a month ago." he told me succinctly. That sounds pretty sneaky. Was Aki always like that?

So Takashi and Aki. Interesting couple. How long have they been so close, anyway? Since when does Aki like Takashi? Why is Takashi getting over me so quickly? Aki has always hated me?

The next day, I started the day at Takashi's office to discuss the details of the fundraiser. Takashi always had such a good heart and helped others, I always admired that about him.

After talking to Hakkai a lot last night, I felt much more relaxed between them than I had yesterday afternoon. Although that might be due to the fact that Aki hadn't shown up yet. I would be happy if she would talk to me and we could talk, but I guess that's not going to happen.

As Hakkai told me a few things about the past few years, I realized that I never really knew Aki. Hakkai said things I never knew, even though I was there. For example, that Aki has long been in love with Takashi and was jealous of me for 'taking' her place. I never noticed, because she never did anything to make me notice. But it bothers me that I was so blind and that while I saw her as my best friend, she saw me as the enemy.

However, I can't do anything with this information because I'm leaving again in six weeks. Besides, I have no right to care about Aki and Takashi's relationship, because I'm leaving and they're getting married. But the thought still bothers me. I mean Japan is my home and I haven't been home for a long time, it's bad to think about leaving again.

"I've also been set up with quite a few model guys or actors that I met around that time." I said, after Hakkai had also told me that the last time it had appeared on the internet that he was with another model girl. But it's clear that's not the case, because Hakkai continues to freeze in the presence of strange girls. I remember how long it took him to get to talk to me.

"I saw the latest news where you're at a party and you're going out with another model. Taka-chan was already panicking that you picked someone up there Ame-" Hakkai interrupted after Yuzuha nudged his shoulder. "I mean the news was true?" he corrected himself.

"No. I had a few photo shoots with him, we used to talk at some events, but that's about it. He has a girlfriend anyway." I replied, but sensed something was wrong.

"Well, I didn't expect anything else from you Y/n-chan." Hakkai said happily. "But I guess there was someone else in the picture you might have dated." Hakkai continued. How did we get to my non-existent love life?

"You know me like that?" I asked seriously, but I wanted to end the subject as soon as possible.

"So you still don't believe in love?" continued Hakkai.

"No, because I haven't really felt it yet. But I didn't take it like seven years ago. So I want to experience it now and say I believe in it." I replied honestly, but even surprised myself with that answer. There must be something in that Japanese air.

"Now that we have discussed Y/n's exciting life, we can get back to work. Taka, let's go over the plans again." Aki said, turning to her fiancé, who had arrived in the meantime.

I preferred to keep silent and said nothing, not wanting to upset Aki any more than I already had. Although I have no idea what to think about her because she was my best friend, but now she is a completely different person. Or maybe she's always been like that, I just didn't see it, which scares me a little.

"Takashi would you start with me? Because after this I have an important call I can't miss." I said to the boy after my manager texted me that I had a call to attend.

"Sure, come Y/n." Takashi agreed and helped me get dressed.

All the dresses were gorgeous that were made for the benefit, although I didn't expect anything else from Takashi, as his talent is undeniable, it has been in the past.

"Another job opportunity?" asked Takashi as he adjusted the dress for me.

"Yes. I've been waiting at least six months for this call. If they want me, I can work in Italy for a year and that would be heaven for me." I said excitedly.

"So you're going to live in Italy after this?" asked Takashi, who is aware of my dream to live in Italy.

"If all goes well, yes. My dream would come true and my work wouldn't be in vain."

"I'm sure you'll get the job, and if you don't they'll lose because you're a prize for everyone. Your future husband will be lucky to have you." he said looking at me in the mirror. I saw the bitter smile on his face and for some reason it made me sad to see Takashi like that.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, but we'll see. A few hours and we'll find out if I'm going to Italy from here or back to America." I said, a little confused. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I need to get a grip.

"Isn't there an option for you to stay here?" he asked kindly. Was Takashi always this soft with me?

"I've been thinking about moving back home. But you know it's always been a dream of mine to be an international model and finally make it happen. I don't want to give that up just yet. When I have a family I'll move home, but until I have someone to stay for I won't." I explained my choice.

"I didn't say give up, I just said come home." Takashi said. "If six years ago when I confessed my feelings and you felt the same way I did, would you have stayed?" he asked as he looked me in the eye. His question surprised me so much that I suddenly couldn't answer. I don't even know what the right answer is. Why is it so important?

"I don't know… If you had asked me to, maybe, but I have no idea. I never thought about it." I said, confused. I'm not prepared for such questions.

"But I was never an option for you, was I?" he smiled bitterly and my heart ached to see it. I never wanted to hurt Takashi, especially not this much.

"Takashi-" I would have said something, but I couldn't think of anything to say in response.

"We're done." he said and let me go.

Does Takashi still love me? No, that's impossible, Aki is his fiancée. Yet the very thought makes me happy.

The show is in two weeks and everything is pretty much ready. The last few weeks have been great with the others and I already miss them when I think I have to leave soon. But instead I'm enjoying the time I have left.

I thought about spending the day with the others as I have been, but none of them are free. Hakkai has a photo shoot, which Yuzuha of course accompanied him to. And I don't want to be alone with Takashi. Firstly because of Aki, although she's out of town at the moment, I sometimes feel that she's following my every move with Takashi. And on the other hand, I feel like the more I'm around him, the more I hurt him. And it really hurts to see Takashi sad. Besides, I can't really concentrate on the conversations because I'm lost in his beautiful face. And it really bothers me that I can't be near him like I used to. I miss every minute we used to spend together and sometimes I wish he was just my friend and no one would bother me when we were talking. I almost regret I was the person who ever introduced him to Aki. It may be selfish of me to want Takashi for myself, but he was mine.

I thought I'd take advantage of the time alone and go shopping. I hadn't spent time alone in a long time and I'd walk around places I hadn't been in a long time.

It's incredibly nice to be home and I'll find it hard to leave the place again. Japan is my home after all, along with the people I grew up with.

"Y/n? Is that Y/n?" I heard my name and looked around and saw familiar faces.

"Baji! It's been a long time." I greeted the boy.

"Mitsuya said you were home, it sounded pretty unbelievable." he said, surprised.

"Right? I can hardly believe I'm here myself." I said happily. I didn't think he would recognize me after all this time. I used to be friends with them as a friend of Takashi's, but we never spent enough time together to become close friends.

"Baji how long do I have to wait for you?" asked Takashi not seeing Baji talking to me.

"Oh, Takashi." I said happily as soon as I saw Takashi.

"Y/n?! What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he looked at me.

"I came to go shopping." I replied, perhaps too cheerfully. "But I won't bother you anymore. It was good to see you Baji. Takashi, I'll see you later." I tried to hurry away, because I felt that if I stayed any longer I would be staring at Takashi again.

"Wait Y/n! Would you like to eat with us? We're on our way there, if you're up for it, we'd love to see you." Baji said kindly.

"Yes! That would be great." I said as if I had been waiting for this. I was going to spend the day with Takashi after all. Not that I mind, in fact I'm glad.

"When you graduate, you're welcome to come to America." I said to Baji. "Although I might move back home before you graduate." I added, but only Takashi laughed at my joke.

"Hey! I can't help it that veterinary school is so hard!" defended Baji himself at once.

"Sure, Baji, we believe you." Takashi also replied. We had fun watching Baji try to prove that it wasn't his fault that he was still studying, but he failed, and in the meantime Chifuyu sent him a message that there was an emergency in the shop, so he had to rush off.

"Say hello to Kazutora and Chifuyu too!" said Baiji before he left. And then there was an awkward silence. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed in Takashi's company, but nothing occurred to me to start a conversation.

"Do you need a ride home?" Takashi asked. Oh, I guess he doesn't want to spend time with me. Not that I wanted to, but it hurt a little.

"No thanks. I want to walk around the old neighborhood where we used to live." I said and got ready to leave.

"Thanks, I had a good time." I said and quickly left, not wanting to disturb him. I guess our friendship that we had really is gone.

"Can I come with you?" Takashi stopped me and I was very surprised, but I couldn't deny that he made me happy.

"If you like." I replied and we started our walk together. Maybe I was wrong and he would still like to spend time with me. I really hope that's the truth because it makes me very happy.

Takashi and I walked around the old neighborhood and talked reminiscing. Back then everything was so calm and I never had to worry about what Takashi thought of me and that maybe I should stay away from him. We used to be almost inseparable and I wish that was true now. I don't want to have Aki standing between us all the time, the one who keeps me from talking to Takashi, the most important person in my life.

"I really miss the days when I'd come over to your house after school and we'd talk till late." I said my thoughts.

"Me too, but I miss you the most." he said, and suddenly I couldn't even answer. "I mean our friendship." he corrected himself in confusion. So not only do I miss him, but he misses me too. It couldn't have been a nicer thing to happen today.

"Takashi you know-" I wanted to tell him my thoughts but I was interrupted.

"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but you look beautiful, can I have your number?" a stranger asked and I just blinked wide in surprise.

"Sorry, no." I replied and turned back towards Takashi to continue the conversation.

"It'll just be a few minutes. I can't leave you with this, you're too beautiful for that." The boy continued, not wanting to realize it was time to go.

"Still no." I replied, but the guy was trying so hard he grabbed my hand.

"Dude understand he doesn't want anything from you." Takashi said quite angrily. I could feel him getting more and more tense around me, but I guess he could take it so far.

"I'm not talking to you." he said dismissively, still holding my hand, which I couldn't pull away from him.

"And he's not talking to you. Let her go now." Takashi said threateningly, but the guy felt very brave and hit Takashi. In shock I just watched as Takashi hit him back and the kid fell to the ground, which would have been fine if there hadn't been more of them.

"Takashi let's get out of here" I took the boy by the hand and we started running with five other people following us. Why do people like him have to find me now? Even Takashi is húrt becuse of me for being too pretty.

We ran all the way to a small alley and shook those idiots off.

"You know, I was in a gang. I was gonna take care of them." Takashi said while still hugging me for the small space.

"I know, but I didn't want you to get hurt any worse than that. Look what happened to your face anyway." I said looking at his wound.

"It's no big deal, as long as you're okay." he smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I only attract trouble." I said regretfully.

"Then maybe I should be around you all the time to bail you out." he said jokingly.

"You'd just be holding me back. Look, I'm the reason we got saved this time." I said, looking him in the eye. Were his eyes always that beautiful?

"And you got us into this because you're too beautiful." He said and I blushed slightly at his praise, though it didn't change much because I was already red enough from his closeness.

"Takashi." I said his name as I leaned closer to him. This isn't right, and I still want to kiss him.

"Y/n?" he pronounced my name so nicely that I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I love you." I said and kissed my childhood best friend who was engaged to be married. I'm a terrible person. Yet I enjoy it and I never want this moment to end.

"We mustn't!" I said as soon as we parted and got out of the situation as fast as I could.

What an idiot I am! How could I say I loved him and kissed him? I mean he didn't disagree either, but it was still wrong. I shouldn't be feeling this way about Takashi at all, yet I can't wipe the smile off my face. I really am in love with Takashi. I don't know how long, but this is the worst possible timing, because I don't stand a chance.

I didn't sleep all night and I didn't go to work, pretending to be sick. I can't face Takashi like this, let alone the others. It's a good thing Aki isn't here, because just the thought makes me ashamed. She may not be able to stand me and wish me to turn up, but I'm not her. I'm ashamed to feel this way about a friend's fiancé and kiss him to boot. But I don't regret doing it. I really am a horrible person! I just left Takashi after what I said.

I have no idea what I should say to him after that. I mean, I couldn't deny it anymore, but I'd never ask him to leave Aki. I can't stand between two people who love each other. But I feel like I can't clear things up until I talk to Takashi, and that'll be painful. I'm not going to hurt him now, I'm going to hurt myself, because I don't want to reject him again, but I can't give him a home here. We live too different lives and I doubt I can make Takashi happy at the moment.

With so many thoughts in my head, I couldn't sleep, so I left for Takashi's at 2am and just hoped that Aki wasn't home yet.

I stood in front of the door for a few minutes because I was afraid of what would happen if I rang the doorbell. I finally did with great difficulty, but my adrenaline was pumping.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" Takashi asked as soon as he saw me on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked, trying to see if Aki was there or not.

"Come in, I'm alone." he said as if he knew what I was thinking.

I sat down on the couch and as my adrenaline levels dropped so did my courage, so we just sat in silence for a while.

"Takashi I'm sorry." I suddenly stated and wanted to continue but no words came out.

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything that should make you feel that way." Takashi said kindly.

"Of course not! You have a fiancée! Who is a friend of mine!' Besides, I said something that didn't mean anything!" I blurted out.

"Why shouldn't it matter? It meant a lot to me, Y/n." Takashi said, and as much as those words make me feel good, they don't ease my guilt.

"No! It can't mean much to you or me because you have a fiancée! Takashi it was in vain what we did and what I said. Forget it." I said and wanted to end it all, but Takashi didn't think so when he stopped me.

"Forget it? Y/n do you know how much that one kiss and three word meant to me? I don't know how long I've been waiting for this and you're asking me to forget it?" Takashi snapped and now he was the first time to yell at me.

"We're not teenagers anymore who can just do that. You're about to start your future with Aki, and I'm leaving! Do you think such a flare-up is worth anything?" I asked angrily.

"A flare-up? Is that all it would be to you? Y/n you mean everything to me! I've waited all my life for you and for you to love me back! I would give up anything for you!" he looked me in the eyes and I saw that everything he said was true. "I don't love Aki I never did, if I have to this minute I'll break the engagement."

"I can't do that Takashi. I'm sorry." I turned my back on him and left.

"I love you Y/n!" he said before I walked out the door. Don't do it Takashi, please don't.

I made it all the way to the elevator, but there I broke out in a crying fit. I love Takashi, maybe I always have, but I couldn't make him happy. His home is here, and mine doesn't exist. I couldn't give him the home he deserves. And the guilt won't let me rest. I've never felt such pain in my life. I don't want to leave Takashi, but I must do it now rather than do more harm than I can, because I'm only here temporarily. I've already done more than I should have.

Tomorrow is the show and everything is ready. I am excited to be on the runway in Takashi's clothes, they are all amazing.

I got the job in Italy which I am incredibly grateful for and I can't believe I am realizing my childhood dream of living and modeling there. Hakkai and Yuzuha were happy with me when I told them. Takashi was also happy for me, but I could see that he couldn't be as happy as Hakkai, for example, and it made me sad, although what did I expect. And Aki didn't even congratulate me, but I wasn't surprised or moved, because she had treated me so badly in the last few weeks that I didn't even recognize her. And I learned many things about her from Yuzuha that gave me a clear picture of her. Now I understand why people don't like Aki and tolerate her just because of Takashi. But I don't know why Takashi tolerates her if he doesn't like her.

Aki hates me and doesn't deserve Takashi, I'm jealous of her, but I still let her through because she can give Takashi what he deserves more, which is a home. I don't have a home, not even to give to someone else.

With Takashi I tried to behave the same way as before, but it was difficult, especially during the dress rehearsals. He, on the other hand, was a bit ignorant that we almost didn't speak since then, which must have been noticed by everyone, but no one said a word.

"Y/n-chan what time does your flight leave tomorrow?" asked Hakkai as we took a break.

"Eight o'clock at night. So I'll run straight to the airport from here." I outlined my plans for tomorrow night.

"Can't you stay another day?" asked Hakkai sadly.

"I'm afraid not. I've got a meeting the next day that I can barely make because of the time difference." I replied.

"But Taka-chan will be sad too ami-" Hakkai would have said if Yuzuha hadn't nudged her shoulder again. "I mean we'll all be sad." Oh, how sad I'm going to be.

"We'll keep in touch for now. And I'll come home when I can." I smiled at them. "Maybe-" I would have said, but I heard Akit yelling and we started eavesdropping.

"I'm sick of you thinking about Y/n all the time! Listen to me for a second, I'm your fiancée!" I heard Aki's voice who was arguing a lot with Takashi. Hakkai and Yuzuha looked at each other, but neither of us understood exactly what was happening.

"Should I stop? Me stop it Taka? Is your dear Y/n sitting outside and not listening to what we are discussing? Because what if she does? What if she finds out that you still love her the same after all these years? Nothing will happen, because she doesn't love you, she never did. You can tell her your feelings again, but it will go away like it did seven years ago!" continued Aki. Oh, Aki is a bit wrong, but it's positive that she doesn't suspect anything.

"Aki! Really stop this now! Why are you bringing this up now? How did Y/n even come up?" Takashi also raised his voice.

"Of course, you don't want to talk about it now! Maybe you forgot that I was with you when she broke your heart! And who knows what Y/n was doing in America until then. Or rather with whom-" Aki would have continued my insult, but Takashi wouldn't let him.

"You can't talk about Y/n like that! She has never done anything to give you the right to talk about her like that!" said Takashi in a serious tone and I was happy that he defended me like that.

"She never did anything? She took everything from me! She became an international model which was my dream! Our friends are the same and she didn't show up for seven years, but she shows up now and they're more with her than with me! And besides, all you did was take one look at her and you're addicted to her again! Yet she did nothing. Of course, she's the innocent little Y/n." Aki said more and more aggressively. I can't help being better than her.

"I can't help it that she's lovable unlike you!" said Takashi as Aki's words trailed off.

"Tomorrow she's leaving again, leave you here without thinking. And then order will be restored here, so let's forget this conversation." Aki said, still angry. I really can only do harm.

"Fine, let's forget it. But I'm going to hold you for good. Here, be happy." Takashi said and if the others thought it right he gave the ring back to Aki. We didn't hear anything else, we only saw Aki crying as she stormed off. Takashi is single now, no one to hurt. But after the way I hurt Takashi, I have no right to say anything. And Aki is right that they are staying and I am leaving.

"We finally got rid of that girl!" said Yuzuha happily.

"Taka-chan! You've done well!" said Hakkai happily.

"You guys aren't sorry? She's your friend." I asked, not that I was that sorry, but still she was one of the reasons why I hurt Takashi.

"No. She's been trying to act like you for years, but she's been really bad and annoying." Yuzuha reasoned, to which I nodded in agreement.

"However, it's one less model. We won't find one until tomorrow." Takashi reminded us.

"I'll take Aki's part too." I offered.

"That won't work. You won't have enough time." Takashi said right away.

"Come on. Do you think they only invited me to America to model because I'm beautiful?" asked I smiling as they thought about it and realised I was right.

Takashi adjusted the clothes for me and we were fully ready for tomorrow night.

"Takashi.. thank you for not letting Aki insult me." I smiled at the boy.

"You have nothing to thank me for. You know I still love you, so I would never let anyone hurt you." He replied with a smile. I don't want to leave Takashi, I don't want to live without him again.

I'm incredibly excited for tonight. This whole charity night was Takashi's idea and it was his idea for me to be here, so it should be a good night.

"Y/n-chan! Are you listening?" asked Hakkai when he noticed I wasn't paying attention.

"No, I was watching Takashi." I said honestly.

"You've been thinking about him all day, pay some attention to me." Hakkai tried, but he couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes off Takashi who was wearing a suit. It was just a beautiful sight.

I tried my best not to think about Takashi on the runway and it was difficult but I succeeded. I concentrated hard not to mess anything up and I did it. Although I'm really not a professional model who is moving to Italy for nothing.

I'm moving to Italy… Then I won't get to see Takashi every day. But I can't stand that, I need my daily Takashi. I won't be able to hear his voice or smell his scent. But I can't, because I'll be happy. What should I do now? I can't cancel my trip, it's my dream. But I can't leave Takashi, because I don't want to. Damn it, I just realized how much I love him.

After Takashi thanked everyone for coming, I hurried to change. I asked Hakkai, Yuzuha and Takashi to walk me to the airport, because I thought it would give me more time to think about what I should do.

"Call me when you can." Hakkai said, touched.

"Don't forget us." Yuzuha hugged me.

"Make your dream come true Y/n." Takashi smiled kindly at me.

"Wait a minute! I can't do this." I said in total panic. All three of them looked at me confused, not understanding what was wrong with me.

"Takashi I love you! I'm sorry for all the words I said to you. Maybe I really can't make you happy, but let me try. So come with me!" I said, looking him straight in the eye. Takashi looked at me in complete surprise, he was getting more and more confused.

"Remember when you asked me what I would have done if I had returned your feelings seven years ago? I would have stayed. But now I'm asking you to come with me and live my dream with me. It may be a selfish request, but please Takashi," I said with all my thoughts.

"Is that really what you want Y/n?" asked Takashi doubting me.

"I want this more than anything! Because I love you Takashi!" I said happily.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

[homunculus-argument]

I've learned to be neutral about other people being religious, but my own experience with it was definitely coloured by my issues with my dad. He was a proper Edgelord Atheist, loathing religions as a whole and christianity in particular, never hesitating to remark about how stupid and backwards or primitive it is. My mother didn't care either way, she only talks about god when she talks about gardening. So he was the only one in the house with any strong opinion about it. And yet, me and my sister were babtised, put into a christian daycare for a while and then put into christian religions classes at school.

I always loathed religion classes as a kid and didn't know why, I hated hearing about it and having to put up with it and always felt like the teacher is just insulting us by lying right at our faces, about something that surely nobody actually believes for real. My childhood best friend was put into the non-christian option despite of coming from the same kind of a vaguely culturally christian background as I did, and I envied her intensely for it. I asked repeatedly to get to go to the non-christian classes as well, and was told "no", because my mother didn't think that letting your kids do that was an option even though my friend's parents clearly had already done it.

I had a serious Edgelord Edgy Atheist phase in my teens, and was wrangled into going through confirmation anyway because Everyone Else's Kids Are Doing It Too. The aforementioned friend got to go through a non-religious version of the same thing, which I had not even known was an option, so I didn't think to ask for it. Being wrangled through jesus classes as a 15-year-old bag of spite who was only marginally self-aware enough to avoid physically wearing a fedora, I was not a pleasure to have in class.

My father was physically present in the house until I was 14, until my mother finally accepted that this man's presence might actually cause physical harm - his drunken attempts to cook almost caused a fire, and he drove drunk with me and my sister on board once - and he reluctantly agreed to be removed from the picture. His absence at home made no impact nor difference in our daily life, the man who sleeps in the spare room just wasn't sleeping in the spare room anymore.

We saw him frequently enough after that, he visited us for family events and joined us for outings. At some points I tried to bond with him, over mutual interests and passions, even tried to prompt him to join me on snide remarks about religions that he used to make all the time, but he would not. He refused to bond with his children even over mutually hating the same things. It slowly occurred to me over time that the reason why christianity had played any role in my life was because he had never, at any point at all, moved a finger to stop it. Harmless or not, he had no instinctive desire to move his children away from things he considered bad. He had hated it enough to make it known that he hates it, but genuinely just did not care enough to consider not letting him children grow up in an environment he loathed.

My father died when I was 17, and I never really mourned him - not out of hatred, but because his death had hardly even altered the empty absence that was his presence in my life. I had grown up with religious classes trying to tell me about a loving god, and I had not understood why I had hated it, why I felt betrayed and lied to. My relationship with the christian god I was taught to understand has been exactly the same as my relationship with my father.

Desperately shrieking into a void that is so vast that not even my own echo would answer, and knowing for certain that the dead silence I'm hearing in return is the complete, absolute absence of a loving Father.

[skeren]

Hi! I'm the mod for @svsss-fanon-exposed and saw your tags on my timeline post-- do you have a write-up of your own interpretation of the svsss timeline? I'd be really interested in seeing it if so bc I love to also look at how other people interpret these ideas!

Okay, so, I had to reread to get my bearings about what I saw that made me go 'no, that seems wrong' and it's a few specific points, I think. I want to say from the start that it all seems very well thought out and well supported and if you were working from a logical basis that makes sense for a setting like this, generally speaking, or even for one of MXTX's other works, you would be golden.

The problem is that you're being respectful, thoughtful, and giving all the background of the world the basis of logic and benefit of the doubt.

That doesn't work for SVSSS. At least, not quite to the extent that you're showing it to.

Okay, first thing's first. The one that I have no evidence for. This one is based more on feelings and the fact that even after he's running around running half the demon realm Binghe still calls Ning Yingying Shijie. By that point, he'd basically usurped the Head Disciple position off Ming Fan in the past, has been running his own sect part time, and generally been above and beyond successful for a given value of the word. He's certainly stopped being respectful to most people from Cang Qiong. I take this as proof that Ning Yingying must be older than Binghe, and not just someone who was a martial sibling who was there longer. She's Shijie because she was there longer, is older, and thus that's just the title she gets, full stop. I might be wrong, that's always an option, but that's how I see it, and I've always placed her at one or two years older, with Ming Fan at closer to three. Similarly, it makes her insistence on getting a new Shidi much more reasonable if she's been waiting for a while to get one, and didn't end up there shortly before Binghe, but years earlier with Shen Qingqiu being immensely picky and denying her new playmates.

Circling back to the respectfulness thing though. I absolutely and whole heartedly believe that the absolute vitriol that Shen Qingqiu receives from the sect and we see through Shang Qinghua's eyes is because he had no time to prove himself. He showed up, and was nearly immediately dumped with the head disciple position, probably because he has a brain in his head, and didn't even have to go through the choosing trials to get there. How dare he. We see after Shen Yuan takes over his life that given even a little justification that the people in this world will accept practically anything, so that means that Shen Jiu must have had absolutely no chance to prove himself to the sect, to prove he was worthwhile and didn't get the position through some kind of underhanded means or even bribery. This also fits the narrative beats of how Airplane initially wrote his backstory and the way it's presented that somehow, events always conspire to show Shen Jiu in the absolute worst light no matter what he does.

By this thought process, it puts him solidly at a year younger than Shang Qinghua, or at the very least, the same age with a few months between.

Following the logic of that, me and my bestie, who helped me get all these sorted out, thus have the whole situation with Tianlang-jun happen a scarce few years after he shows up, no more than three, and that they all ascend to being Peak Lords within the same year that the last head disciple (Probably Shang Qinghua) is chosen, which happened in a very short time after that fight.

So as you can see a lot of the same beats are followed, but I think you might be dropping the ball on the actual timeline of Shen Qingqiu being booted up to the head disciple position, because this is, in fact, an absurd exaggerated world that plays up all tropes and nepotism is nothing if not the most powerful trope and it would look like that from the outside if nobody knew the real circumstances of the Shen Jiu's arrival.

As for a thing I agree with but feel the need to expand on! I am aware that your timeline cuts off around when SVSSS starts, but I should point out that we know, near for certain, that SVSSS starts when Binghe is 14, and no more than perhaps four or five months away from his 15th birthday. The reason for this is that in one of the extras he says he is fifteen and this is almost immediately after he's moved into the bamboo house by Shen Yuan following his three months of cultivation, which we know happens as soon as he manages to unlock the OOC feature. I can't imagine that Shen Yuan took more than a month to get this unlocked, so there you go.

Forgive me that it's not a properly written out timeline such as yours, and instead picking at a few specific points, as I know how difficult these can be to maintain and have made them myself for other fandoms. I simply have not sat down and done so here. Thank you for reading this far, and I hope that this proves useful to you!

[illegiblewords]

Almost current in Dawntrail, I make some references to plot stuff under the cut but this post isn't mainly about Dawntrail. This is an analytical rant. There are people who disagree with me that I adore/respect to bits who have done brilliant stuff from angles I wouldn't take. People shouldn’t stop doing what they’re inspired to do according to whether I like or dislike something. This post qualifies less with 'I think' and 'I believe' statements/is a little harsher because I'm venting though. Proceed at your discretion.

Features critical/darker discussions of Venat and Hermes with brief mentions of Zenos.

I really, genuinely think a lot of people are only getting pieces of what's going on in FFXIV.

The story still isn't black and white. Characters very, very often are not what they advertise themselves to be. Neither the cast nor fans are immune to misjudging.

Hermes is not as compassionate as he presents himself. There is an enormous discrepancy between what he professes and the choices he consistently makes, both with regard to other ancients and creations. I do believe he was genuinely miserable but he is basically Satan from Paradise Lost, who wonders why he alone was made unsatisfied with obedience and perfection. Who recognizes there is difference in himself compared to others but is conflicted about whether this is a defect or higher calling. Satan sees himself as inherently 'other' above all else and Hermes is just the same. The shared snake imagery isn't a coincidence either.

Everything I've seen points to Hermes being a narcissist who does not have instinctive empathy in a society where empathy is the most valuable quality a person can have. He strives to have more empathy than all other people without truly understanding what that means. It's why he projects his anger and hatred onto the wolf creation as it dies instead of offering it any kind of comfort. It's why he sends Meteion into space to suffer pain, death, and despair as a high empathy being who challenges all concepts of what it means to be alive… instead of presenting her to the Bureau of the Architect, where her very existence might instigate star-wide reform for how all other creations are handled. For his ego, he needed to be the only one with extensive knowledge of dynamis. He needed to be the only one with answers from on high regarding the nature of life. That was far more important than Meteion's wishes or well-being, and the creations he claims to love are expendable for this purpose. He frequently oscillates between seeing himself as beneath all other ancients and the sole, divinely powerful judge/jury/executioner of all living things. Like Satan from Paradise Lost he can't be grouped with those around him. He can't be just one of many ancients dealing with fears, doubts, despairs. He MUST be exceptional above all else. I'd argue the main reason he accepts the Warrior of Light at all is because we do not appear as a fellow ancient to him--he sees us as a familiar, and therefore inherently without equal authority and agency compared to him. When we are useful to his worldview he uses us and when we aren't we're disposable.

I've seen people claim that Hermes is just anxious and that's why he didn't submit Meteion. You don't opt for genocide and decree all of humanity as immoral and unworthy of mercy without even allowing your targets a voice to answer out of anxiety. You certainly don't do that while having specifically gone out of your way to avoid any steps that might have given room for more charitable judgments. Hermes opted to destroy everyone because it was what he wanted to do, but it didn't fit his self-image as a benevolent and empathetic person to do so. That's why he made a loophole via memory erasure.

Venat, further, is not a hero. She's gray at best and in all likelihood a pretty dark shade of it. Light motifs and crystal mommy themes do not change this. She not only decided, independently, that Hermes' genocide was an appropriate course without allowing anyone else room to discuss or address the issue--she actively denied everyone else knowledge of what happened or even basic information about dynamis (LET ALONE METEION'S LOCATION) so they could deal with the issue effectively. She passed judgment on the entire Convocation because of Hermes' appointment without once judging herself for withholding information on his true character. There is a reason Emet-Selch called her out for being immediately ready to see herself as a morally correct messiah of the star. He wasn't wrong to do so. And especially after Endwalker I think Venat grossly misunderstood not only what led to worlds self-destructing on a philosophical level (never mind Meteion's emotion amplification powers), I think she misread her own star and its people. Pursuit of purity and certainty was what led to the destruction of worlds. The total absence of pain is just one form that can take, but it isn't necessary for a world to be in perpetual agony to avoid that. Venat dismissed the despairs and struggles of her own fellow ancients because there was no room for them in the view she had of herself and her world. If she didn't see them they didn't exist, but even when she did see them they didn't count enough to sway her judgment. Venat had to be the most correct person and she didn't allow even as Hydaelyn the possibility of making mistakes or unwarranted cruelty to others. She is 1000% guilty of 'ancient hubris'.

Venat might be a more middling gray, in my view, depending on whether she'd been trying to shield as many people as possible from tempering with the traveler's ward only for most of the star to become tempered by Zodiark post-summoning. There are a lot of repeating phrases between Elidibus, post-Final Days ancients, and the lunar shades that I think point to mass tempering. Venat would have grounds for assuming people had homogenized views, prayers, and voices if the star was largely tempered. If they weren't, I think she becomes pretty sinister for how she deals with people's post-Final Days trauma. Her injustice toward the ancients in that case would just happen to be in a way that benefits the shards.

The Zodiark plan prevented life from going extinct. It was necessary. Zodiark's tempering and the subsequent sacrifice spiral were not deliberate I suspect, seeing as Zodirk was the first primal EVER. People have been consistently misreading the loporrit quote on this to try and argue that Zodiark didn't temper the Unsundered.

The line states that Venat used a different summoning technique to the one utilized by Ascians. Venat's technique specifically does not temper people. The Ascian method does. If Venat's technique was used to summon an entity of Zodiark's magnitude (whose power could not be resisted according to Emet-Selch) there might be a slight tug toward tempering despite the technique being much safer.

This is not saying Zodiark didn't temper anyone. It's specifically saying that despite Venat having a safe technique, Zodiark's summoning was on such a monumental scale that even Venat's technique would carry some risk.

Meanwhile, Lahabrea has been getting set up for years as someone who has been dehumanized, judged, isolated, and misunderstood. This has continued to increasing degrees through Dawntrail. It has been going on since A Realm Reborn. The sheer consistency of it is insane at this point. There is a HUGE gap between how Lahabrea emotes and what he's actually feeling. His choices reflect this and it is demonstrated firsthand in Pandaemonium.

No one seemed to think it was weird that Lahabrea was ready to commit a pseudo-suicide by killing Hephaistos. No one seemed to catch that the 'pseudo-suicide' in the lyrics to Scream referenced Lahabrea, as did the 'shadow left far behind' line. People contorted themselves into pretzels trying to say that Scream was not about him. Nevermind that Pandaemonium is the Lahabrea raid, in which all other characters were supporting cast to flesh out Lahabrea. It must be mainly about Hegemone and Agdistis! If not them, it must be mainly about Erichthonios!

The man's entire story is about being dehumanized, dismissed, invalidated, and excluded while suffering severe mental illness. It's kind of horrendous that fans are continuing to do this to him on a meta level.

Lahabrea has a long history of Abrahamic imagery. If the Warring Triad mirror the Unsundered, Sephirot as the Tree of Life maps to the Kabbalistic process of creation. The game explicitly and correctly references this in the attacks used. The lyrics to Fiend track for Lahabrea as does the association with Id issues, and there's symbolically significant overlap between muscular/multi-armed Sephirot (where multiple arms reference the boddisatva Guanyin, who uses those many arms to help those in need) to muscular/multi-armed Zodiark as Lahabrea's creation. And Zodiark being Lahabrea's creation is indicated in Akademia Anyder. People have been trying to attribute Zodiark to Hermes because Hermes hijacked him in EW and it drives me nuts.

Meanhwile, what did Pandaemonium do?

Paired the Tree of Life to The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There's a ton of snake, fruit, and mouth imagery in Pandaemonium. Athena is Eve offering Lahabrea as Adam knowledge of good and evil via the soul bonding. Lahabrea has been afraid of himself as an extremely powerful ancient (which I've analyzed before, tying to Emet-Selch too), particularly given he's in a position of power. He reflects the societal idea that someone with his aetherial strength and authority cannot afford to be selfish or he risks causing immeasurable harm to others. Result is that Lahabrea is absolutely terrified of being selfish in any capacity, even on a basic healthy level. Athena meanwhile is a purely selfish being. Like I believe is the case with Hermes (and am positive is the case with Zenos)--she does not have instinctive empathy. Athena deliberately psychologically violated her husband by forcing him to acknowledge understanding selfish desire through her perspective, then compounded it by exploiting his lack of self-confidence to say he was bound to be just like her for understanding such selfishness. She's not an authority on that, but Lahabrea sees himself as personally less than Athena and is not at that point equipped to argue on his own behalf.

Anyway. Abrahamic connections, Hegemone has the snake imagery. Agdistis has the tree and the fruit. Athena is Eve. The soul bonding is the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Hephaistos uses a ton of snake imagery too. Lahabrea is covered in symbolism both on a personal psychological level and tied to traditional symbolism via the hand of god acting upon the world, the eye of god watching the world. For savage, one arm is covered in eyes. This is his role as Lahabrea employing power for his people. The other arm, his personal desires/needs, is long and thin and malformed/not really functional. He covers his heart with a pair of wings for protection and reduces himself, weeping, to DNA because that's the only value he sees in himself. He'd rather be that than himself as a person because at least as DNA he's wanted for something. Lahabrea doesn't think anyone would ever give a shit about him on a personal level.

When Hephaistos is defeated, there's a reason Lahabrea is shaken when he states that Hephaistos' goal was never to raise himself high. That was what Athena wanted and what she told him he'd want. All Hephaistos wanted was his family back and to be loved. That was the moment Lahabrea had to introspect and realized Athena wasn't correct about his motives. Her declaring something about him didn't make it true.

Erichthonios is convinced he has a cruel and indifferent father for much of the raid. We see him twist neutral-to-kind gestures as malicious in front of us, as with Lahabrea allowing him to go to Pandaemonium as a child but insisting he know spells to protect himself. Erichthonios takes Lahabrea's insistence as believing he's not good enough instead of wanting him to be safe. We also see Erichthonios construe something that actually points to Lahabrea being depressed (giving himself no credit for completing the phoenix and advertising nothing only to be surprised by coworkers throwing him a celebration anyway) as him scorning Pandaemonium for not sharing the achievement with them. Erichthonios was taught to do this by Athena, and Athena likewise twists Lahabrea's self-image as a form of psychological abuse from the moment he approaches her in the soul bonding scene. She cites his status and accuses Lahabrea of thinking himself morally above others for descending to Pandaemonium and judging her. It never occurs to Athena that Lahabrea would try to stop her because he loves and wants to protect his son.

People are projecting their own personal beef with parents behaving poorly to assume Lahabrea is an uncaring father. He's not. He's extremely mentally ill and Erichthonios was groomed by an abusive mother while having no concept of what Lahabrea's mental illness would even look like... let alone how to deal with it.

Lahabrea explicitly thinks Erichthonios is better off with the false memory of a mother who abused him than having him present as a father because he considers himself so personally worthless. He can only see his presence as a detriment in his son's life. He is a short step from the kind of suicide people commit when they think other people would be happier and less burdened if they were dead. 'They might be sad for a while, but ultimately they'll be better off.'

I'm not even bringing out my citations right now. This isn't an Archon Thesis because I want my evidence properly assembled for that. But I recently saw someone try to frame the Convocation and Zodiark plan as uniformly awful, when the reality is doing nothing would have resulted in life going extinct. And if we're talking about zodiac signs mapping to Convocation members, there are more layers to it than 'Ascians = bad versions of the zodiac'.

Ex. The duality (two fish) and creativity associated with Pisces both apply to Lahabrea, but the emotionality does too. It isn't obvious at first but when you look it's there. Lahabrea has hidden strong emotions consistently through a variety of methods across the game. Sometimes it's reserve, sometimes it's aggression, sometimes it's hysteria. But when you look at the surrounding circumstances from his perspective, it makes perfect sense how and why he'd emote that way. It has never been safe for him to be emotionally vulnerable.

One of the earliest moments of 'villain laughter' from him we see is at Carteneau. His assistant waits quietly for him to finish. At that point Bahamut had been unleashed in yet another action that goes directly against Lahabrea's own morals, but is necessary to the Ardor. The sundered respond by invoking Lahabrea's phoenix as protection for humanity against a primal Lahabrea helped orchestrate. On some level people instinctively believe Lahabrea can and will protect them despite his failures, their own reincarnations, and thousands of years passing. It's ironic and horrible but this kind of irony has been happening to Lahabrea over and over again. If he doesn't laugh the dude's going to cry and (again) it isn't safe for him to do that.

(Also as the only Ascian to ever refer to Zodiark as 'master', Lahabrea is A) very tempered B) continuing a pattern of thought/behavior/worldbuilding where he puts his people first and himself dead last C) not talking about Athena. Lahabrea says in-game he had no earthly idea Athena was in the Heart of Sabik. I do think Heart of Sabik effected him by magnifying his desire to save his people and redeem himself in the face of survivor's guilt. It might have influenced his phrasing too. I have theories about what Lahabrea did at Praetorium but blowing it up was not 'the ultimate magic' by any means. I'm pretty sure he used it as a Themis and/or Zodiark backup drive, which Athena's presence at Anabaseios proves is possible anyway. He doesn't need to know about her to figure it out.

People have tried to say Athena is Lahabrea's god instead of Zodiark. Especially given the history of abuse and Lahabrea's own repeatedly shown priorities/actions, that take is pretty appalling imo. Completely dismisses how devoted he has always been to his people to destroy his will and identity altogether on a meta level.)

Even if we strip shit down to the most bare bones narrative form and ignore evidence--where motives and arcs are concerned 'oh Lahabrea has always been evil/uncaring/sociopathic/self-absorbed and stayed that way forever after' is bad storytelling. That would require a 'failure to change' arc as literal or spiritual death. That arc form ties to death because life requires accounting for/adapting to new experiences. If a character fails to do that (for better or worse) that character is stagnant and effectively not living. Such arcs require meticulously showing the process of rejecting experiences though. Zoraal Ja actually approaches the form a bit when we see him repeatedly taking nothing from the trials he undergoes, but his trajectory becomes 'change for the worse' after losing to his father's shade. None of the Unsundered are set up with that arc form, Lahabrea included. It wouldn't offer any insight, fit with what we know of the ancients and their values/society, or carry any emotional impact. Trying to go that route without setup is just bad storytelling and makes characters less believable. But yeah. Tl;dr I really, really wish people paid more attention and examined words vs actions vs surrounding circumstances vs motives.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

The Tragedy of Love, Death and Maggots, part 16-G

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15

I paused, thinking about it. “Sure, why the hell not? I'll bite. What's the plan, Mrin?”

It made her break into a proper smile. This time I could see the cracks in it, where something that horrible and despairing lurked. “Are you alright, Mrin? You look… troubled, my love.” The last word lingered on my tongue. It tasted like the fields in summer.

“It's nothing, Doc. Nothing at all.” Mrin turned away, but I caught the flash of grief. Stronger, it was. Starker against the warmth in my chest.

“No, it's not nothing. Don't brush me off, Mrin. Not after everything we've done,” I said, grabbing her arm and pressing it to my chest. “I swear, Mrin, I'm done trying to accept my fate. I'm done trying to make my own heart freeze over. I'm done refusing to admit that I don't care about you, or Athena, or Brett.” 

I don't know when I decided that. To be honest, I hadn't quite realised it until the words flew out of my mouth. I suppose it must have been when Mrin burst into tears that night. It always did come back to her, after all. Her and that piercing gaze of hers. It revealed things I didn't know about myself.

But it was true. I was done, once and for all, of letting harm coming to the ones I loved. It was time for me to step up and be a man for once. I pressed her calloused hand to my chest. “Come on, Mrin. Tell me what's wrong. Let's face it together, no matter how horrible. Isn't that what partners are for?”

She looked down, avoiding my gaze. “I've come to a conclusion of my own, Doc. I think- I think it's time I stopped trying to make the impossible happen. I've been stuck here for what, a decade? And no matter how hard I've tried, I can't find a way to escape this place. I…”

“I don't think there is one.”

The admission made her voice crack, and she yanked her hand from my chest as though I'd stabbed her. “Fuck, that hurts to say aloud. But it's the truth, isn't it? There's just no way out. We're stuck here. Doomed.”

It was the opposite of my decision. “Mrin…”

“No! It's pointless, don't you get it?! It's so… so accursedly unfair of you to say something like ‘I love you', right when I've made my choice! I admired you, Doc. I admired how stoic you were. I tried so, so fucking hard to stay calm in the face of everything. I tried so hard not to care. I tried to be like you, and just as I succeed, you do this?!”

She shook, though with rage or grief, I could not tell. “You stupid bastard. You and Athena and Brett, you've all left me no choice.”

“I've got to save you all. Even if it means killing myself.”

“Mrin, what the hell are you talking about?” I tried to reach out again, and she gave me an infuriated look. 

“Run the numbers, Doc. I'm never going to be happy here. I don't want to spend my life chasing something that will never come to pass. It's all so pointless. Pointless, I tell you.”

“You're repeating yourself again, Mrin.” Even as I said it, I knew it was useless. We really were doomed to repeat our mistakes. This conversation had been the lead-up to Athena's death, and it was gonna be the lead-up to Mrin's too. I felt that mantle of despair settle about my shoulders, unavoidable as ever. 

Yet I had to try anyways, didn't I? Wasn't that what I'd told her just now? Damn, this trying thing was hard. It was hard to get arms to move when they'd stayed still for so long, hard to get the ball rolling when it'd been gathering moss for forever, hard to try when it was so much easier to just not. But I had to. For Athena, who I hadn't reached out to in time. For Brett, who I could have saved if I'd been less of a fool. 

For Mrin, who I still had. Who I would lose. Who I couldn't lose, not when we'd admitted the truth to each other.

“It's not pointless, Mrin. You're a fool if you believe that.”

(Character development!!!)

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