#i think i'm gonna go back to bs&t

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

daechwita

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like this is a horrible thing to say, but when I'm shown examples of when Marinette is having a hard time, it's hard for me to feel bad for her.

It's not like I think she deserves it and I certainly don't draw any joy from it, but I just don't feel any sympathy for when she's struggling.

My theory is that the show has toted her so much as the all-important one-and-only, all while ignoring everyone else's important moments and struggles, that I'm struggling to feel sympathetic for when Marinette is going through some sort of misfortune. Every single one of her struggles are always highlighted in such a way that it's supposed to be this incredibly-important thing that makes Marinette look so sad, but then she's comforted and validated until eventually, this struggle eventually gets resolved and she's all happy again.

But then there's Adrien. No closure about his mom, his dad, Natalie—nothing. He's slapped with all the responsibility of comforting and validating Marinette, who eventually gets her personal conflicts resolved without lasting impact.

I'm not saying Marinette hasn't done anything to comfort and validate Adrien, but his conflicts just feel largely brushed aside and/or downplayed in comparison to Marinette's, which are highlighted and emphasized as significant events.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or something, and I do kind of feel bad about it, but I just struggle to sympathize with her when the show tries to make us feel bad for her.

Marinette is a fictional character. It's totally fine if the bad writing has completely turned you off to her and drained you of sympathy because the entire purpose of her existence is to entertain people. She's not some meaningful representation that you should want to connect with and understand to improve your world view or something like that. She's just a poorly written teenager in a bad kids show. As long as you're able to acknowledge that fact and own that this is mainly a writing issue - and it sounds like you are - I wouldn't stress about it. The writers have done a lot to make her unlikable! I totally get why someone would not want to watch a show starring her canon self. I struggle at times and I genuinely like Marinette! Her writing is one of the many reasons I just don't know if I'm going to watch season six.

I don't defend Marinette because she's done nothing wrong. I defend her because her faults are so clearly just bad writing and not some grand plan for the character where she's going to learn something, which makes me feel protective of her because I genuinely love the base character concept and what she could have been. It's annoying to see people treating her like she's the problem and not the writing because she's literally not allowed to learn lessons and change, so of course she keeps coming across worse and worse! Her flaws are genuinely fine for a serialized story, they just have no place in an episodic one where the characters stay largely stagnant.

For example, nothing about the season five conflict and final naturally follows the BS season four conflict where she supposedly learned to trust Chat Noir. As much as I don't agree that with that synopsis of what the conflict was, it is how Ladybug sums it up in the final:

Ladybug: Why don't you just give up on me? I've lost ALL the Miraculous! I'm the worst Guardian EVER! I wanted to control everything, I didn't listen to you, I lied to you, I kept you at a distance! Every time you offered me a helping hand, I never took it! I really made a mess of EVERYTHING! Cat Noir: We're gonna get them back one by one…until the very last. And we'll make sure this never happens again.

And yet none of this seems to impact season five. Chat Noir and Ladybug maintain all their secrets and they do absolutely nothing to track down the missing miraculous because the plot won't let them even though it really doesn't fit Marinette's character. She certainly hasn't given up controlling things because, once again, the show literally will not let her do that. The rare episodes where it happens always see her punished like when Alya handing out miraculous lead to SentiNino which almost lead Gabriel to knowing Ladybug's secret identity. Adrien suffers for similar reasons. So does Alya and so many other characters! I totally get why someone would not be able to look past canon's writing since it's not like the flaws are minor. I have the same problem with both Lila and Nathalie.

I just cannot stand Nathalie even though I know that she's as much of a victim as Marinette and all the other characters. None of Nathalie's flaws are her fault because she doesn't exist. It's just that Nathalie's bad writing hits me in a way that makes me despise her while Marinette's hits in a "protect and defend" way. There's no wider logic here. It's just a matter of what characters I connected with enough to look past the bad writing. The type of fanfics I read probably also helped...

My only real piece of advice on this topic is to watch your mental health and take a Miraculous break or even leave the fandom all together if you notice that your Marinette hate (or hate of anything in canon) is really messing with you. I've mentioned before that I'm debating about watching season six and a big reason why is that I don't know if it's going to be good for my mental health. Lila's writing has consistently got on my nerves, but she was a minor enough character that I was still having a good time. Given that Lila is our new big bad with the added bonus of how shitty season five was and the show may have hit a point where it's just not fun for me anymore.

Previously, I had issues with the overall writing, but genuinely enjoyed watching the show as the writers are pretty good at short form story telling, so canon was a nice mix of genuinely enjoyable moments and writing issues that were fun to talk about. That was not true for season five and I just can't picture how it will be true for season six. The only reason I'm even considering it is because I watch the show with my SO and he has a lot of fun listening to me rant about bad media, so I may still have a good time with season six. It would not be the first time that I suffered through a piece of bad media for the sake of a loved one who really wanted someone to rant about it with.

I'm not the kind of person who will tell people they're not welcome in a fandom unless they like X. That sort of gate keeping is ugly and often straight up bullying, so don't read this as me saying that you have to like Marinette to enjoy the show or that you need to disengage if you don't like X% of canon. As long as you're having fun and not forcing your dislike on others by sending clearly unwelcome asks or engaging with sugar posts in an antagonistic way or anything like that, then I'm going to defend your right to be in fandom even if we personally aren't going to get along and need to stay in our separate fandom bubbles.* All I'm saying is that it's important to know when to disengage from a piece of media. To keep track of when something starts consistently bringing you more sorrow than joy. When that line is crossed? It's time to move on.

The sad fact is that, while you may utterly adore a piece of media, you have no control of what that media will do, so you need to be very careful about trusting your mental health to total strangers. It's part of why I tend to be so critical of media. Analysis and plot pitches like I do on this blog are genuinely fun for me, but they're also a much healthier way to engage with a story than just trusting it to be good and getting burned when it isn't. There's a reason I avoid theory crafting. I've gotten really into that in the past and wound up hurt because I put way too much faith in strangers who ended up sucking at their job.

*Btw, the line about separate fandom bubbles was not aimed at you. It's just a general statement about how fandom works. All are welcome, but all do not need to directly interact. Curating your fandom experience is important self care. Blocking someone isn't some sort of value judgement. It's just sometimes a thing you need to do in order to keep from seething when you accidentally see their asinine hot takes.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Suga has to be the best gatekept secret in BTS. He is so beautiful, cute, caring, charming, and funny!!! After months of questioning your taste ranking him second after Jimin in visuals when tkk is right there!, I'm sorry to say I was wrong. Yoongi is THE visual. I'm not going to the concerts but every photo I see on Twitter makes me wish I was going BPP. Does it sound like I'm getting wrecked? It's because I am. I relate to your other anon so bad haahaha. Before this tour, only Jimin and Jung Kook turned my head, but Suga now owns my soul. Is this how people become true OT7? Through BTS concerts?

*

Ask 2: Anyhow, did you notice how obsessed (maybe too heavy a word) Yoongi is with BS&T Jimin?? I just noticed after Suchwita. I think he really likes & remembers bst Jimin fondly & fervently. Please correct my delusion, if you think it's farfetched. (While reading your blogs and army detective twts, I'm realizing more and more how clueless and unobservant I am. I've given up being astute in noticing these matters and just gonna outsource these insightful findings to others. haha) +

But I think, Yoongi really LOVES bst Jimin. I mean who wouldn't?!? I just watched the MV & performances, and WOW JIMIN!!!! My words don't do bst jimin justice. That head tilt?! the fluttering of his eyelids?! his hand motion? his jaw line? the way he glides?! I see a ballroom behind him! GAH. the song is a BOP. I'm absolutely mesmerized, and let's be real, who can blame Yoongi for forgetting how to close his mouth in front of jimin! I want members reacting to mvs back!! T T

***

Hi Anon(s),

I started reading your asks giggling, by the time I got to the end I was full on howling lmaooo. Anon in ask 2, I too want the guys reacting to their MVs back, just cause we'll see them all going "Ahh, Jimin!"

Anon in ask 1, sigh, you have no idea what you’re in for with Yoongi.

Maybe all Yoongi biases are the same, because I truly feel like gatekeeping everything about him and I see that impulse in other Yoongi biases too. I’m very selfish with Yoongi.

You mentioned his visuals and him being caring etc, so let me try something here. It’s easy for me to talk about Jimin, but near impossible for me to talk about Yoongi, so I’m going to try talking about Yoongi through some of his actions with Jimin. And I’ll sprinkle in some okay pictures of him I don’t mind sharing, since you’ve acquired a taste for his visuals as well. :)

First, a preamble of his delectable visuals:

(ASDHJKJLSHKSADLK)

*

When people typically talk about Yoonmin, they stick to a rotation of Yoongi’s mouth hanging open watching Jimin, Jimin’s teasing of Yoongi, their bickering, etc. This is a jikook space so we hear all the time about how Jungkook looks out for Jimin, cares for him, encourages him and protects him. JK is introverted so when he becomes very assertive, usually on account of Jimin, it stands out. Yoongi too is introverted, but when he deals with Jimin he doesn't really break character, and so, oftentimes his quiet encouragement of Jimin, the significance of his actions, typically goes under the radar for a lot of people.

For example,

I'm not sure how many people realize how big a deal it was for Yoongi to recommend Jimin for A&R director when the boys were making BE. Jimin has said during that time, he felt lost - with their tour getting canceled, all their plans upended with no end in sight, the pandemic had taken away his core reason to live by his own admission i.e. performing for ARMYs. He was starting to drift and become unmoored (emotions we now see in Alone), and so Yoongi recognizing that, and recommending that Jimin take on the responsibility for determining the direction of their self-driven album, to get Jimin "closer to music again", is a small thing, but I see it as one of many ways Yoongi was pushing Jimin to better express and assert himself in that situation. Advice that Jimin finally took to heart during their Vegas concerts, when he began pursuing his solo music in force. The A&R role would’ve typically gone to RM since he drives most of their songwriting and oftentimes sets the tone of their music with BH, but Yoongi pushing for Jimin to be active, with Jimin eventually writing some songs for BE (though those were rejected), registered in my mind as yet another way Yoongi sees Jimin in ways many of the members don’t, and quietly advocates for him. Pushes him to go out of his comfort zone, because of how much he loves him. RM eventually took on a more active role during BE but Jimin being able to come on YouTube lives in Fall 2020 to talk about things he was doing for BE, those glimpses into him starting to find himself again, those details registered for me in ways I’m not sure I can properly express.

Yoongi sees Jimin, and loves him dearly. And it's mutual.

(I've never cared for animal prints but that leopard-print furry hat on Yoongi... he's a big cat)

*

Another moment I want to highlight is their 2016 Festa dinner. You know the one, where Taehyung talks about how Jimin grabs the spotlight/center. Yoongi was the first to come to Jimin's defense, saying how Jimin just naturally knows how to be a good performer, that a friend had told him that Jimin naturally knows how to act on stage to capture the audience. I'm not sure if it's obvious to many people, but that comment shifted the direction of the conversation, and soon other members were talking about how good and confident a performer Jimin is. J-hope would later say he's learned about performing by watching Jimin, and Jungkook would say this in later years too.

(… I have no words)

Yoongi saw Jimin's potential since way back in pre-debut, encouraging him and advocating for Jimin to be added to the final line-up in BTS, and has supported him in key periods of doubt since. Everyone saw how hard Jimin was working as one of the last trainees to join a nearly bankrupt agency with limited resources to train even just 7 people - I can't imagine the anxiety Jimin had to deal with but I imagine it was so much. And so when Jimin talks about that period and nearly always mentions how Yoongi supported him, I don't take it lightly.

(There's a reason Yoongi will always choose Jimin)

*

[Full disclosure here, but yoonmin's antics during the whole Shadow/Daechwita MVs shooting drives me to near madness. Because if you understand what Yoongi is, (which Jimin does btw), you'd see why this is borderline one of the most homoerotic unresolved cases we've ever had in Bangtan history.

If not for the fact that Jungkook exists, I'd be in a very different blog space right now honest to God. And I'll just leave it at that. ]

*

Whew! Okay, I need a break so enough about Yoonmin for now. I’ll try to focus more on Yoongi now.

Anon in ask 1, his pictures on Twitter is what’s fucking you up? Then welcome to my world lool. What got me initially though, was his music. Like, weeks later and I’m still struggling with myself not to loop D-DAY 40 hours a day 10 days a week. The fact he makes music like HUH?! while looking like this

(…and the fact this isn’t even in the top 30 hottest pictures I have of him. Just…)

I’ve written sonnets and poems about his voice and it still doesn’t feel enough to explain what it does to me.

(More Yoongi…)

(…just because…)

(…he’s that perfect.)

Good luck to you becoming a Yoongi bias because I have no idea how I’ve been surviving all these years. If we’re both still standing by the time this tour is over, please stop by my inbox again to tell me how you’re doing. I’d love to hear all about it. :)

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Week 5: I'm Annoyed

Hey y'all. We're back. And I'm a little annoyed about the show last week. I'll start my regular reviews next week. But for now, I'm gonna do some ramblings and spill my thoughts. So here we go.

The Elimination

I was completely fine with Brooks being eliminated. It was the only thing that made sense at this point and I couldn't stomach another moment of Gleb giving her trash choreography and half assing teaching her while going full steam ahead with the showmance for the THIRD SEASON. I couldn't even really tell you what dance they because there was no technique. It could've been a salsa, a cha-cha or a samba. Idk. Brooks could've been much better with any other pro because the potential was there. But here we are. Unfortunately.

Derek and Hayley's Dance

It was really beautiful and it was so nice to see Hayley out there dancing like that again. That's so scary what they went through. I can't imagine Derek's actual feelings in the moment. The brain is no joke.

The Scores/Judging

Mark was a mostly great addition. He was sometimes on some bs though (along with the other judges). So I'm wondering what is going on. Chandler, Joey and Danny should've been tied for the lead with 34 points each. Phaedra should've gotten the same score as Dwight. Jenn should've been given a 30/31 because Sasha sh*t the bed once again.

Thoughts on Individual Couples

So I have a few other lingering thoughts. The first is this weird standard that they are holding Chandler to. The reason I hate contemporary on this show is because it's not valued if it doesn't make you spit up, shake sob, dribble, snot and fart once you're done. That dance was perfectly fine. It was almost perfect minus a lift where Chandler's dress got in Brandon's face and a slight out of sync moment in the side by side choreo. Chandler dances with conviction. She hits her marks, she doesn't just step. She full out dances. None of them feel the same in terms of the feeling. Yeah, this contemporary was lighter, but we weren't dealing with a heavy topic. Her mother is still very much alive and well. She was thanking her. Trying to make it all extra sad would ring as inauthentic and I'm glad that Brandon spoke to that in their interviews. You could tell that they both were confused and that Chandler was shaken by the strange critique.

This Phaedra and Val partnership is not working. Sorry. Homie checked out this season and is not giving Frack (for all you RHOA fans out there) dances that show her in the best light. Is Phaedra the best dancer? No. But she could be so much better if her pro tried. That rumba was the best example of that. Mama pulled a Reggie and that's the one dance I thought she would kill. I'm so disappointed and I wish she had gotten someone else. So far Brandon has done the best with his RHOA star, followed by Tony (surprisingly). Val is sucking this season. I'm just gonna flat out say it.

Sasha had one good week of choreo and went back to bs. That foxtrot was atrocious. I need him in a class or something because the way his choreography skills have regressed in 6 years is WILD.

Joey and Danny, while both good, are being given very kind scores. Joey was skip stepping during that whole dance and Danny needs to loosen up just a bit more (his foxtrot is still my favorite dance of his). The judges are rightfully calling out Stephen for his areas of growth. The same needs to be done for those other two.

I enjoyed Ilona's dance a lot and I think she would benefit with talking to Laila Ali. I feel like that would help her really settle into the dance world in her own unique way. She's almost there, there are just a few more things she's gotta tend to.

Dwight was fine. I want him to dance from his whole body and not just picking a couple different places to focus on.

That's it. Sorry this is late again. Life and I was annoyed with the show last week. But Disney week starts in 5 minutes for the Eastern and Central time zones. So I'll talk to you all very soon.

[just-a-laughingstock]

People are falling for Alastor's BS

Allow me to explain.

Pretty much a person on TikTok believed that the reason Alastor fought Adam was to prove how powerful Alastor was since he could hold his own with Adam until Lucifer arrived. And I couldn't agree less.

The series makes it clear multiple times how powerful Alastor is, so it makes no sense to hammer it in. I believe it was the opposite, that it was to prove that Alastor isn't as powerful as he claims.

My main belief is that Lucifer was not meant to be there, why? Cause Charlie literally says "Alastor was supposed to handle him" in refrence to Adam. Lucifer was never meant to be there. Charlie is literally shocked when he arrives.

So did I make this whole post to bash on a random TikToker. No. It was to confront a problem I see in the Hazbin fandom and that is that a lot of people are taking Alastor to be the most powerful being in Hell. To the point that some people think he could win against Stolas or even Asmodeus.

In my opinion Alastor fits Hazbin Hotel to a T cause he's a Hazbin. He was ONCE one of the most powerful overlords but now he is washed up.

I'm gonna cut this off for people who want to scroll, but if you want to see all of my points, just do the thing.

But if you want to skip TLDR: Alastor has a superiorty complex

My point begins in "Radio killed the Video Star".

One we have the fact that Sir Pentious, a literal joke villain who is called pathetic constantly, managed to land a hit on him. If he had a power bordering the Seven Deadly Sins, that wouldn't be possible. Stolas managed to detect an imp sneaking up on him from behind. Alastor couldn't detect Sir Pentious grab his jacket when he was right in front of him.

But than we have Valentino's talk with Vox. Noteably how he says "Are you still mad he almost beat you that one time" key word "almost". Alastor didn't beat him. If you want to believe the idea that it was cause Alastor used to be friends with Vox, go ahead, but I don't. I believe he literally couldn't. He wasn't beat by Vox, but he didn't win either.

Than we have the song "Stayed Gone" itself. A lot of people in the comments praise Alastor for "tearing Vox apart" and "not even caring" but if Alastor didn't care. He wouldn't respond.

Alastor has aan Ego not confidence. And a fragile Ego at that.

Vox bashing Alastor was enough to make him begin broadcasting and ripping Vox apart. Even implying Vox shouldn't be feared cause his power comes from his connection to Val and Velvette. But in the end when he cuts the power in Pentagram City, he still feels the need to go to his demonic form and attempt to strike fear into the hearts of the other Sinners.

If he was confident in his abilities and powers, he wouldn't feel the need to remind people that they should fear him. He would simply mind his business and remind people when they mess with him. Not mock another person for just saying "he's a coward".

Than we have the distinct fact that he mocked Vox. Not attack him, he mocked him. We see with Husk that he has 0 problem killing people, but he doesn't do it. As if he knows he can't attack Vox directly.

My next point and the shortest comes with "Scrambled Eggs" specifically when he goes to the Overlord meeting. When Carmilla points out that Alastor had been gone for 7 years, he pretty much says "Oh I know. You must be so curious as to where I was" and Carmilla shuts that down. Alastor is noticeably offended that Carmilla doesn't care at all that he was gone. As if he's offended that she isn't interested at all about the fact that he left and is now back.

But in my opinion the episode with the most proof is "Dad beat Dad" when he meets Lucifer.

When they first meet and Lucifer calls him the Bellhop. Alastor ignores the comment and talks about his radio broadcast, as if fully expecting the King of Hell itself to have heard of him. And not only does Lucifer state he had never heard of him and even calls him a hazbin.

To me it seemed like Alastor seemed to immediantly try to subtly fish for a compliment. As if saying "I'm the one who came up with the name, I'm the one who deserves the praise" in which Lucifer tells him it's not clever. A comment that noticeably upsets Alastor abd causes him to cuss for the first time in the series.

This leads into "Hell's Greatest Dad", where Alastor is noticeably trying to one up Lucifer, that's the whole point of the song. But note that he never brings up his power, pretty much just saying "Well I was here first". And he gets aggressive when Lucifer keeps portraying himself as the better pick.

Only stopping when Mimzy appears. A character that pretty much kisses Alastor's ass, and makes him out to be one of the best people ever.

When Husk confronts Alastor about Mimzy, he pretty much says "he can handle whatever trouble Mimzy brings" and when Husk states that Alastor also made a contract and has his soul owned. Something that sets off Alastor so much that he threatens Husk's life.

Than when the loan sharks arrive he says that he needs to "remind people why they should fear the Radio Demon". As if upset that him simply being there, did not deter people from arriving. That they were fine fucking with the place Alastor lives if it means getting the money Mimzy owes them.

Then he cuts off Mimzy. As if upset that she purely arrived to use him as a sheild. And while he states that he's angry that she brought danger to the hotel, I don't believe that. Since he literally offers her a place to stay when she was described as pretty much being a trouble magnet. So it's weird to assume that he doesn't want her just dropping by but has no issue with her living there. I believe this was him attempting to have her show that she genuinely respects him and doesn't just view his reputation has a shield to get her out of trouble.

Pretty much, I believe that Alastor was poweful. That he was among the most powerful overlords, but now he's washed up, a hazbin. And he doesn't like that. He has a complex after all. He needs people to fear him, he needs people to view him as poweful.

That's why he breaks down after Adam beats him. He was just "killed" on live television. Live television just saw him "run with his tail between his legs" as the Vees put it. That's why he seems to be breaking down as he reads off a hypothetical headline calling him an "altruist" a person willing to die for his friends. As if upset at the thought that if he had died, people would stop fearing him. Cause he'd be seen as someone who died for the hotel, who died for his loved ones, who died for his friends. It breaks him.

I believe Season 2 will confront that fact. That all of the Pride Ring saw Alastor run from a fight. Something not even the "pathetic" Sir Pentious did. Not even Sir Pentious ran from the fight, but the "mighty" Radio Demon did. I believe the next season will have Alastor being taken down a notch.

Anyway there's my rant. Sorry if it's scattered, I tried to make it as straight forward as possible.

[mrsdeliberatecreater]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Okay love. I need you to do something for me. Take 3 deeeeep breaths.

Okay?

I understand you completely. I understand what are going through completely. I'm Indian, so I know how it can be. I got yelled at by my sister for thinking that I might have ADHD. 👀 Its all good now though. I also used to deal with debilitating anxiety two years ago.. I barely left my room, let alone go to school for a master's degree that I chose and got into serious debt for.. I'm not making this about me, but I just want you know that change is possible.

Anytime you start to feel bad, a anxiety attack coming on, I want you to just keep taking calming deep breaths and focus on the now. Focus on the things you see, things you can hear, smell, etc. Its the feeling of "now". Come back to the "now" as many times as needed if you feel negative thoughts. I would affirm, "Everything is okay, everything will be okay", pick an affirmation that feels natural to you, and affirm.

If you like subliminals, I would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6BKBzVgfk&t=4s This has stopped so many of my anxiety attacks before I learned to let them go..

If not keep doing the breathing exercises. You will find that by repetition this will eventually release the reasons for feeling anxiety in the first place. Take things one day at a time. If it gets bad, ask someone you trust for help.

We alll have doubts. Doubts are fine. As long as you are just focused on the end/wish fulfilled/affirming, you are fine, even with doubts. You don't need to believe with 100% everything till you burst a blood vessel. If you feel like your doubts are overwhelming you, decide that nothing, not even you can stop your desires from manifesting. <3

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". - Matthew 17:20

If you have the time, I would highly recommend IlluminatingJoy on youtube, especially her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT2xyCcoues&t=1727s

She has a really good grasp on manifestation and explains everything so well and accommodates it to fit our "logic", while completely validating human emotions. The exercise she does in this video is so so simple but seriously effective. I catch myself slipping at least once a day that would have spiraled if I hadn't done the exercise.

Also if you want to do this in a day, I want you to focus on your mental diet. Affirm affirm affirm.

If negative thoughts come up, you breathe and think "I can relax, I got all A's". Anything in the 3D reminds you think, "I can relax, I got what I wanted. Your family being mean to you? remember how in class after lunch, your teacher is talking but you're thinking about something else.

Also speaking of that, I know you said you can't your images clearly. That's fine. Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

My visualizations are never clear and I manifest everything I imagine all the time. They all have that "vignette" effect lol..

Imagination can be a picture, it can be a smell, a touch, a voice, just how someone's clothes smell when they are standing really close to you like in an elevator. Like you can specifically smell it but you KNOW what I'm talking about right?

Your loved ones in your face? Use it YOUR ADVANTAGE. I used to hear my sister compliment me, it was easy to hear her voice. I primarily used her voice to fix our relationship. Cannot for the life of me picture her face properly but thats FINE.

You can use ANY of the senses, just one or two or all. Hear your family saying things you want in your mind. Hear them congratulating you, compliment you.

You can slowly work this into all the other aspects of your life...

By the way, you aren't lost and empty. You are a very caring person, you want to do things so that you don't let your family down, in spite of how they treat you. That to me is a genuinely caring person.

But you need to apply that same care to yourself. You don't need me to be harsh to you, YOU don't need to be harsh to you. You are working so hard to find answers but you ARE the answer. Its okay. Please just rest. Its all yours. Be more soft to yourself, be more kind to yourself, compliment yourself, you will start to see that kindness reflected in the 3D as well.

I have given you a lot of options here so you can pick and choose what makes YOU feel better so that YOU can focus on SELF because

Nothing to change but self

Reach out to me as many times as you would like, you could never bother me.

Nya 🌺

[whowantslovergirl]

can you write song fic for john B reader is a kook and really wants to be john bs gf bc she thinks sarah is terrible for him i was thinking girlfriend by avril

thanks!!! Love your stories

An: OMG I LOVE THIS???? this request ate but you asked and you shall receive 😝😝😝 AND THANK YOU ILYSMMM 🤍🤍

Girlfriend

John b x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: reader is ��kook princess’, cursing, not doing the whole song :(, let's be honest sarah is not good for john b srry guys, italics are flashbacks, ^ this means start the song, reader being tht girl, outer banks masterlist

Summary: Y/n doesn’t like his girlfriend and she thinks he needs a new one

posted: July 9, 2024

Y/n always had a crush on John B. I mean who wouldn’t? But when Sarah Cameron got with him. Y/n became physically sick. It’s true she literally threw up when she found out. Sarah Cameron is known for cheating so why would he get with someone like that.

Y/n is much better for him and she won’t stop until she gets what she wants. ^

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way

I think you need a new one

It’s no secret that I don’t like Sarah Cameron and I’m not one to slut shame but she’s a slut. Who gets together with someone who is known for cheating?, that makes no sense. John B and I always had our little interactions. Like last week he totally was flirting.

“Hey N/n.” Only very select people are allowed to call me by my nickname so obviously he means a lot.

“Hey Johnny Boy.” You smiled and he smiled back. He got a little closer as did I. “I like your outfit.” You smiled. “Thanks Johnny I wore it just for you.” His eyebrows raised and he chuckled. “Oh did you now?” You nodded.

He needs a new girlfriend and it is definitely going to be me.

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend

“You know I could probably be your girlfriend.” I was being serious but John B obviously didn’t care and he laughed in my face.

When is he going to realize that Sarah ain’t shit?

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me

No way, no way

No, it's not a secret

It’s not a secret that John B is attracted to Y/n literally everyone sees it.

“So when you gonna realize that Y/n is better?” JJ asked John B while they were smoking together on the front porch.

“JJ shut up bro. I’m with Sarah and no one is going to change that.” JJ rolled his eyes. “Alright John B I’m just saying that Y/n is the better choice.”

Hey, hey, you, you

I want to be your girlfriend

“Johnny I want to be your girlfriend.”

“I’m with Sarah, Y/n.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yea not for long.” I say under my breath while walking away. “What was that?” I turned and smiled. “Nothing!”

You're so fine I want you mine you're so delicious

I think about you all the time you're so addictive

Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright

There he is looking so delicious with that blonde bitch right next to him. My friends and I are on my boat and we can see the chateau from here. “I mean it’s disgusting!” I said while putting my glasses back on. My friend just rolled her eyes. “Y/n I’m sorry but they’re not breaking up.”

“She cheated like three times!” I said retaliating.

He will be mine.

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious

And hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

John B was walking around when he saw you shopping around. He went up to you to strike up a conversation. “Hey N/n.” I turn around with a big smile on my face.

God, he loved your smile.

“Hey Johnny Boy.” He sees all my bags. “So what’s the princess shopping for?”

“Um nothing?” He laughed at that. We just stared at each other. “Do you like me John B? And before you go ‘yeah!’ I mean really like me.”

He choked on his spit. “What?”

“John I know you like me but you’re ’with Sarah’. But once you see what everyone else is. You have my number.” I winked and left.

I mean you are the hottest girl on the island and you are John B’s type but he’s with Sarah.

‘I’m with Sarah.’ He repeats as he continues walking through town.

She's like so whatever

You could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about

“Sarah or Y/n?”

“Oh Y/n for sure.”

“I just don’t understand why he’s with someone like that.”

“I mean Sarah’s hot but not hot enough to stay after she cheated more than once.”

Those were some phrases I heard around the island. Everyone knows it but him. He’s blinded by ‘love’.

______

“You know people talk around here JB?” I told him when I saw him walk toward me. "Listen Y/n I know that we are kind of attracted to each other, but it can never happen."

"So, you admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"That you think I'm attractive." I start smiling. He just looks at me with pure confusion.

"That's not the point!"

"Whatever you say Johnny." I walked away.

He wants to be with me so bad it makes him look stupid.

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way

I think you need a new one

"He literally said we both find each other attractive or attracted to each other I don't remember but is that not admitting something?!" I was at my friend's house waiting for her to get ready so we could go to this kegger. She came out finally ready. "You know Sarah is going to be there." I looked at her. "So?"

"I'm just saying I don't think she'll be very fond of the girl she doesn't like trying to steal her boyfriend." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, please that relationship was over the first time she cheated."

"Okayyy."

_____

I was at the kegger getting something to drink when I see Sarah Cameron storm up to me. I greet her with a smile. "Hey Sarah!"

"Don't 'Hey Sarah!" me!"

"Ok I sense some anger in your tone is there a reason?" She can tell I was trying not to laugh. How was I supposed to take her seriously? Someone like Sarah trying to act scary is such a joke.

"Yea there's a reason bitch. Why am I hearing that you're trying to get with my boyfriend?"

“Um because I am. I don't think he's good for you so I think he need a new girlfriend and that will be me so bye Sarah!" I walked away to tell my friend. She was obviously shocked that I didn't try to deny it. Which made her even more angry. I stopped and turned back around and walked to her the same way she walked to you. "And if you walk up to me like that again and curse at me like that again. I will have no choice but to slap the shit out of you. Muah Bye Sarah!"

John B saw the whole thing and didn't step in once. JJ was laughing and Kie and Pope were staring out of shock. This made him realize that you are the better choice but for some reason he just can't leave Sarah.

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend

After the kegger John B and Sarah had another falling out. When I heard of this I was ecstatic. It will finally happen, and I will have John B all to yourself.

I could be his girlfriend.

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me

No way, no way

No, it's not a secret

I was walking around the shopping center when I see John B walk up to me. "Hey N/n."

"Hey Johnny."

"So its not a secret that I like you-."

“No, it’s not a secret.” I said shaking your head. He just laughed.

"But until I figure out this Sarah thing, we can't be together."

"So, it's possible?" I asked in a hopeful tone. He just nodded and walked away.

"Holy Shit!" I yelled out of excitement. Which called everyone to look at me, so you pretended you didn't know who yelled either.

I have a chance!!

Hey, hey, you, you

I want to be your girlfriend

"Hey N/n!" I heard John B yell out. I was sunbathing at the beach when he came over. "Hey Johnny."

"What are you doing?" I just look at him and motion to my setting. He just laughed nervously. We just stared at each other awkwardly. "Well, I'm gonna go." He just walked away.

"You know I want to be your girlfriend right Johnny?!" He put a thumbs up away still walking away.

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again

I was at the country club waiting for my mom to be done with her massage. John B was waiting for his friends. They made eye contact, and I can see the way John B is looking at me, with pure desire. I was definitely looking at him the same way and I motion to come over. He points to himself. "Yes you." I mouthed. He slowly comes over.

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear

Better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear

I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again

"Hey Johnny." I get closer to him trapping him against the wall and he looks pretty fond of it, so I stayed there. "Hey Y/n." I gasped, "You never called me that before?" He just shook his head looking for his friends.

"So, when are you breaking with her John B?"

"Uhm, I don't know I just never had the chance to do so." He said while running his hand through his hair. I rolled your eyes.

"Look Y/n I can't just break up with Sarah-."

"Don't say her name around me ever again.

Just get rid of her so I can have you, okay?" I walked away when I saw his friends come toward us.

JJ came in with wide eyes. "Why was she talking to you bro?!"

"Just shut up JJ."

cause...

She's like so whatever

And you could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about

"So, you might break up with her for Y/n?" Pope asked. The guys were on the boat just talking and drinking beer when the topic of Y/n was brought up.

"I don't know I mean I want to, but I can't just break up with her you know?" JJ and Pope just nodded.

"Yea you don't wanna be a dick, everyone is talking about it though. Some are even placing bets." JJ said.

"Fuck." John b said under his breath.

Hey, hey, you, you

I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way

I think you need a new one

You're getting tired of waiting for John B to break up with Sarah. He keeps coming up with these bullshit excuses. Like just break up with her already. He needs a new one anyway. And that will be you.

Sounds pretty stalkerish but he will be yours.

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend

I mean it's not like I couldn't be a good girlfriend anybody could be a better girlfriend than Sarah Cameron.

He just can't see that yet but it's okay I'll wait a little longer for him to come to his fucking senses.

Hey, hey, you, you

I know that you like me

No way, no way

No, it's not a secret

I was laying down in your room when John B called me.

"Hey Johnny."

"Ima break up with her in a week, okay? Some shit happened and I'm definitely going to do it next week okay?" I didn't say anything out of pure shock.

"I really wanna be with you N/n. Don't think any different alright?"

Then he hung up.

Hey, hey, you, you

I want to be your girlfriend

After the call with John B it's been very evident that he is standing on his word. Sarah and he have been falling out and it's making me smile. It shouldn't but it does. I want to be his girlfriend anyway so why wouldn't I be happy?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Sarah and John B broke up.... finally.

In no time he will be wrapped around my finger. I mean what was he thinking anyway. I can do it way better than her anyway. I don't why it took that long to sink in. Now he is going to be my boyfriend.

Finally

Hey, hey, you, you

I could be your girlfriend

"Hey Johnny."

"Hey babe." He gave me a peck on the lips.

"Well that took a while didn't it?" He nodded.

"It did but hey, you're finally my girl." I smiled.

"Yea I am."

Hey, hey!

An: AHHHHHHH finallyyyy done with the story I hope you enjoy my lovers

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships HEADCANON

Okay so staticfly-

*giggling*

Like they were friends before Val kinda dumped him right

So like hes sulking and shit

Mal enters the picture and goes "what if you spite him by making him jealous? like get aother partner or something and watch him go nuts"

Vox thought it was great.

But for this little mission he picked Mal as his "girlfriend"

Mal was like "boi what"

He was like "You're less likely to catch feelings for me anyway. I don't wanna get to know some stranger. Besides, you have no choice"

Bb gorl was like "k then."

So when Val's around, like at a club or just in public he brings her around and shows her off. They do couple stuff and shit

Aponi's like "y'all sus"

Mal's like "nonono I'm just helping him get back on Val's bs"

I mean it's probably gonna end somehow and they'll go on as normal civillians!

WRONG

One faithful night Val went to confront Mal

And hes like "i bet u don't even love him"

And she went by this speech saying she LOVES him. For his broken parts, his flaws, his mistakes, for every single time they fought, for the things he had no control of, for the peace she couldn't have because of Val, for everything he's been through and they're currently going through right now.. she LOVES him for.. him.

She thought she was just acting but uh oh.

Those were real feelings

And VOX overheard it all.

He was like ○_○... then he thought "That's a lie. No one could love me like that. She's just acting."

Acting my non-existent ass.

Eventually he stepped in to make Val even more livid

After the incident they both were like-

"Uh oh."

And one day Vox was just doing the "boyfriend" things he only does to Mal to make Val jealous.

Like-

Vox: hey. *backhugs Mal*

Mal: ?? ....Val's not here.

Vox: ....r i g h t. *gets off of her and clears his throat*

Vox, internally: uh oh.

OH BUT WAIT

Hes not convinced hes inlove with her yet. He thinks he likes the attention and being domestic w her for fun and revenge.

Hes like "maybe she has things I would hate. maybe she eats pasta with her bare hands. Maybe she would throw up on my shirt and that would turn me off. Just wait for something to turn me off. Wait for it... WAIT.."

It never came.

"It's just infatuation! I'll get over it any day now!"

But he never fell for her attention. He fell for her as a person.

Outside their hangouts, when shes literally just minding her buisness having a life outside of him, my guy is head over heels.

Mal only started falling when she realized that that arguement with Val a year ago was not acting.

Likeeeee- them slowly pining over each other scared if their feelings aren't true and scared if their feelings MIGHT be true.

They're like "NOPE. NO. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! but they make hell a little less bad- NOOOO!!!!"

L I K E.

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEYYY i’m sneaking out of my blanket fort… leaving a treat and some flowers on ur bed (ominously)……. 🥞🌻🌷🌹🛌 i hope ur day is going super nicely !! :33 IT’S TECHNICALLY SPRING HOW R WE FEELING it’s still gray n sludgy here :((( but i hope it’s better where u are !!!

anyway anyway i just wanted to check in w u BUT i also wanted to ask….. what hq ep are u on + who r ur faves so far ?? 👀👀 idk if u’ve met noya and asahi yet but i love them sm they’re my pookies. IT’S SUCH A FEEL-GOOD SHOW ISN’T IT it makes me smile sm too !! T—T

ily mickey i’m crawling back into the blanket fort (sneakily) (ominously)….. tell armin i love him <3

ARIIIIII MY LITTLE IRIS<33333333 i love me some ominous flowers mwahahahaha thank you they're so beautiful!!!!! IT'S VERY MUCH SPRING HERE TODAY!!!! idk how long that's gonna last but today is super super good!!! it's sunny and it's not too cold either wahhhhh i'm automatically feeling so fresh n hyped lmao I'M GONNA SEND SOME OF THE SUN TO YOU THOUGH I'LL CUT IT IN HALF AND YOU'LL GET THE BIGGER SIDE I PROMISE!!!!!

here's the guy!!!! we just went outside we both wanted to feel the sun<333333 i wanted to go to the park but uhhhh my period kinda has me in lockdown though💀💀💀 fuck that bitch but even that little piece of sun made me feel so much better already🌻🌻🌻🌻

HQQQQQQQQQ I LOVE IT SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! i'm currently on season2 ep 12!!!!! I DON'T THINK I CAN PICK A FAVOURITE THOUGHHHHHH LIKE I LOVE THEM ALL THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF CUTIES ok maybe hinata is my favourite................ HOW COULD HE NOT BEEEEEEEEE HE'S A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINEE I NEED TO PUT HIM IN MY POCKET he gets so excited over everything and ahhhh he just means the world to me.....

i was gonna make fun of his height the other day bc he really is super tiny next to all of the other players but that was until he said that he's 163cm and................................................................................. i can't really make fun of him if we're LITERALLY the same height now can i.....💀

pls i almost cried already too...... the eps with tsukishima and his brother:((((((((((((((( when he saw that he wasn't even on the court:(((( yeah that got me a little bit but i'm so happy that he's more comfortable on the team now and that he's enjoying it!!!!!!!! i love him.

kuroo is so funny too............. hehehhehehe gojo has transformed into a high schooler....................................... pls the scene where tsukki asks him why is he even giving them advice when they're techically rivals and he just goes "well, i've just always been a really nice person" as the lighting is making him seem like some angel ahsghghasghaghah so silly i loved it a lot

WAITT BUT I ALSO LOVE NOYA AND ASAHI AAAAAAAAAAAA i've never loved the whole cast of a show this is kinda crazy. everybody being so afraid of asahi just bc of his size is so funny poor guy lmao ALSO bc you know i'm on my voice actor bs did u know that asahi's va is the guy who also voices kunikida??????????????????? SO COOL

OHHHHH ANDD WHEN HINATA AND KAGEYAMA FINALLY GOT THAT FAST ATTACK RIGHT???????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT WAS SOOOOO CUTE I LOVE HOW EXCITED THEY ALL GET WHEN THEY GET A POINT and i love how much they all praise each other all around????? "nice receive" and "don't worry about it" and "we got the next one"????????????????? wahhhh it really is a feel good show my cheeks hurt from watching it

i think i have an extra soft spot for sugawara too!!!!! he deserves his own little mention he's a sweetheart

THIS GOT SO LONG AGAIN WHEWW BUT I REALLY AM ENJOYING IT I LOVE THEM ALLL SO SO SO MUCH they all deserve a good hair ruffle (coach ukai is getting a cheek kiss he's so fine) WAIT ALSO I LOVE THE GIRLS!!! THE MANAGERS!!!!! THEY'RE SO SWEET OH AND TAKEDA TOOO FUCKKK I JUST LOVE EVERYBODY OKAY<333

too much love i might die ari please hold me..... cue very dramatic sigh.... IS YOUR BLANKET FORT COMFY DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT BIGGER? BETTER? DO YOU WANT MORE SNACKS? TEA? COFFEE? MORE PILLOWS MORE BLANKETS????????? I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE FEELING GOOD THIS IS A MUST!!!! YOU'RE MY NR.1 PRIORITY!!!!!!! anyway i hope the sun will come out soon for you too i'm making the call rn I LOVE YOUUUU<333333

[crashdevlin]

Gone Girl 4- Running Empty

Author’s Note: Here we go, down the Walker hole! My beta for this is Miss Cupcake (@petitegateau991 on tumblr)

Summary: Y/n tells her story to the Ranger.

Pairing: none yet, past OMC x Reader

Word Count: 1897

Story Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of arranged marriage, mentions of faking death, mentions of fear anxiety and ptsd, mentions of police corruption

~~~~

"Come over and talk to me. Lewis can handle the drinks." Cordell waved as he walked over to one of the tables. Y/n nodded and followed him around the bar to sit across from him. "Now, start at the beginning. What's your real name?"

"It really is Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n. I'm…" She licked her lips and cleared her throat. "I am on the run from my husband." She let out a little sigh as she clasped her hands politely in her lap. "'Start at the beginning', well that's...I really did grow up in Dallas...Highland Park, though. So, I didn't go to White High, I went to Cambridge Christian. My family became wealthy in the forties with oil money and Daddy's always been real good with investing and he...he made sure I went to the best schools. I never even saw W T White High...just heard the reputation of it. Private school, soccer scholarship to Rice that Daddy made me turn down so that I wouldn't look like I needed aid with my tuition...Daddy's priority is propriety and power. You'd think, with all the money he's got, that'd be enough influence. I mean, I've seen what a dollar can do but...it wasn’t enough for him."

She dabbed at her nose with the back of her hand before continuing. "He met Claude at a Texas RNC fundraiser. Claude needed money for his campaign. Daddy wanted someone powerful in his pocket so...he put us together. I told him I was too young to get married and he told me it was best for the family. He told me to be a good girl. He told me it was the right thing to do...and if I didn't marry the next Republican Representative from the great city of San Antonio, he was going to stop payin' my tuition and completely cut me off. He was gonna disown me.

Now, the money wasn't a big deal...but my degree and my daddy's love? I'd worked so hard for both of those things."

"So, you married him?" Walker asked, softly.

She nodded. "I didn't really have a choice. I wasn't forced, but I couldn't say 'no'." She gave off an unhappy noise and shook her head. "Twenty-one years old, married off to a man who barely knew me...for an exchange of money and power. It's like something out of some medieval storyline."

Walker had to agree. Some princess being forced to marry the king of a neighboring territory under the guise of peace or trade. It made him a bit sick to think of it happening in this day and age, in his Texas.

"Never got to finish my degree either. Claude wouldn't let me stay in Houston. Twelve credits short of a BS in Psychology and he...he said I'd never use that sh-stuff so what did it matter if I walked across that stage? Accordin' to him, I wasn't meant for anything except bein' his wife. So, I put everythin' into bein' his wife." She sniffled and dabbed at her eyes. "I was a good wife. I was always cleanin' something. I was always cookin' and bakin' for him. I didn't do anything wrong, but he always found somethin'. Ranger, nothin' was ever good enough."

"When did he start hurting you?" Walker guessed.

She gave a tight smile and looked down at her hands. "We were headin' to the pool, second day of our stay at this hotel in Maui. Second day of our honeymoon...I grabbed him the wrong towel...so he grabbed my arm and flung me to the floor...and then he acted like nothin' had happened." She scoffed and sniffled. "It's a common technique that toxic people employ. It keeps their victims on their toes...walking on eggshells and you'd think that someone who majored in Psych would have seen that and countered it, but I was so powerless. There was nothin' I could do. I tried to tell Daddy, but he wouldn't hear it. He wouldn't help me. He said it wasn't a big deal, that Claude was a man of passion and sometimes that passion would explode on me. Told me to 'suck it up', keep my mouth shut and 'be a good wife'."

"What about other support? Other family?" She shook her head solemnly. "Friends? Woman as friendly as you must have had-"

"Not since the wedding. Claude didn’t want me talkin' to folks. At all, really. He'd throw these parties and fundraisers and whatnot, and he'd remind me every time 'Seen and not heard'. He told me to be like a piece of art. I used to have friends. I used to be…" She trailed off as her eyes went unfocused. "My maid of honor died in a car crash three years ago. I didn't even know until I started tryin' to come up with an escape plan. He isolated me so completely that I had no one."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she whispered before sniffling again and sitting up straight again. "I had nowhere to go, no one to hide me so...I really only had one option. There was this doctor Claude always called in when he went too far. Dr. Watkins lost his license 'cause he had an affair with a patient that blew up an' he started takin' cash work, under the table stuff for criminals. He spent his time pulling bullets out of gangsters and he...he would cringe when he walked in to take care of me. He flinched every time. So, he...he suggested faking my death. He said he could get me fake paperwork from one of his other clients to help me become somebody new and he could help me carry out the escape. I'd have to leave everything behind and never talk to anybody from my life ever again but...if I stayed with Claude, I wasn't going to have a life anymore. He was gonna kill me eventually. Broken arms and noses and teeth...eventually, it was gonna go even further. So, Dr. Watkins started takin' blood from me and I started takin' money out and hiding it in small increments. A hundred dollars here and there, that's walkin' 'round money in my old circles so he never noticed.

Took me a year, but when I had twenty thousand set away, Dr. Watkins got me in contact with this woman...she called herself Moses but obviously, that isn't her name. She, uh, runs what Dr. Watkins calls 'an underground railroad'...like for the slaves but-but for women like me. Women with no other options. Women who need to disappear. She took half of my money, got me all the paperwork I needed to become Y/n Salama...and after I got out, she gave me a place to hide for a few weeks. She had this little room in the back of her house...it didn't have any windows and the door was hidden behind a big bookcase. She kept me safe there for...a while. Longer than she would have for someone less prominent but...Claude is more than just a rich man. He's a-a manipulative man. He's a charming one. He...he has friends in every level of law enforcement, local beat cops straight to the Rangers and-"

"That's why you got worried when I mentioned my job."

She nodded. "I thought...I don’t know, that you'd tracked me down for him, or maybe that you were gonna recognize me and report back to him. You didn't seem to know me, though, so…" She ran her hand across her forehead. "I should have prepared better for questions and never should have helped you with your bruises. S'what I get for tryin' to be helpful. Never woulda caught onto me if I'd just gotten you your stupid whiskey."

"You answered the questions fine," Cordell soothed. "And it's good that I figured you out rather than someone else...and now you got a friend in the Rangers, too."

She looked up, shocked and a bit hopeful as she caught his eyes. "It's been a long time since I have had a friend. I've been so scared." She smiled a little and looked around the bar. "Seems kind of serendipitous that I got a job at the stomping ground of such an upstanding Texas Ranger."

"We'll call it 'fate'." He smiled back at her. "So, how exactly did you fake your death? I haven't heard anything about Representative Y/l/n's wife dying. According to what I've heard, you're a missing."

"He hid it. All the work I did, he hid it." She shook her head in confusion, her eyebrows scrunching together. "I made a lot of noise and I-I made a huge mess. I wanted the neighbors to hear because I never let them hear when he was hittin' me. It would be something noteworthy. So, I screamed and I threw things and I broke vases and paintings...and then I dumped the blood Dr. Watkins took from me on the rug in the great room. Five bags of it. So much that I wouldn't survive if I lost it all at once. There should have been no doubt that I was dead. But he…"

She shook her head again and scoffed angrily. "He didn't even call the cops for two days. I was sittin' in that safe room and he was...cleanin' it up. By the time he called in his cop friends and FBI friends, there wasn't a trace of blood. All that work I did...he replaced the art and the vases, cleaned the mess. I don’t understand why."

Walker licked his lips. "Is it possible that he figured out that you were alive somehow?"

Her jaw dropped. "M-maybe. He's very clever and I'm not that-" She stopped herself, glaring a bit. "That's not true. I'm smart. I got into Rice with almost perfect SATs. Don't let him-" She let out an angry huff of breath before taking a calming inhale. "He might've figured it out. It's not like I have experience faking my death. But why would he hide it?"

"If I had to hazard a guess...he's planning to find you and...ya know, finish the job."

She swallowed thickly, fear washing across her expression before she hummed. "Sounds about right. Claude would never abide me...making a mess or...takin' somethin' that belonged to him." There was silence for a minute as she stared at the table. "I don't know what to do here, Ranger Walker. I can’t let him find me and I can’t go back.

Cordell reached out and set his hand on her bicep. She flinched before looking up and catching his eyes. He had a feeling she hadn't had a kind touch in years. Her mind immediately went to the violent touches of her husband. "He isn't going to find you, Y/n. I'm not going to tell anyone about you...and I promise...I will keep you safe."

She seemed to try to hold down a sob as she nodded. "Thank you so much, Ranger."

He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "You're welcome. And you can stop with your daddy's propriety. Go ahead and call me 'Cordell'." She smiled a shy smile and he couldn't help but return it.

[zenjestrr]

So, for those Baldur's Gate questions, how about: 1, 2, 10, 21, and 39.

Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they’re from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision? (1) I'm gonna talk about the ones that have made it to Act 2, I have like a million that haven't even left the nautiloid yet cuz I just played Barbie's Dress Up in the CC and quit lol

Zeneeva: Blue Dragonborn (they/them) that started off as a Paladin of the Ancients and went Oathbreaker after reviving Mayrina's husband with the wand. I ended the game as a Paladin 3, Fiend Warlock - Pact of the Blade 6, Gold Dragon Sorcerer 3 (honestly only grabbed Draconic Sorcerer for the aesthetic tbh). This was my first full release character that I beat the game with on Tactician. although tbh I really only went Tactician because I was using a mod that let me bring the whole squad with me so it was my attempt to compensate for having access to like 10 goons every battle lol. I have no real headcanon for this character. but the fact that Tav is from Baldur's Gate and Dragonborn specific dialogue choices imply having a clan makes me believe that they grew up in a tightknit Dragonborn community in the city. I also made them a Guild Artisan (for optimization reasons since there are none of the companions have this background so it's an extra source of inspiration and the skill bonuses are nice), so maybe their family had a crafting business or something that they helped out with idk. maybe they went Paladin of the Ancients as an adult because they saw how shit animals were treated in the city and decided to defend nature. I will replay this character once support for this game is finally done and Larian implements their final patch

Zenuuja: Dark Urge half-orc (she/her) Spore Druid/Monk. She started off as a Druid and then as she had some uhhh...."accidents" tried to control her urges better by going Monk (this is the RP reason, meta reason is I want my final build to be Spore Druid 2, Open Hand Monk 6, Thief 4). She is loosely based off of my Bhaalspawn from Baldur's Gate 1 & 2 (named Zenuuva) who has a half-orc kensai/mage. I wanted to go druid back in BG1 but classes in the old school Baldur's Gate games were race locked so only humans and elves could be druids. so I went with an axe throwing battlemage build instead. She will reject the urges as best as she can. I already know the Dark Urge plot and backstory so I won't fill that in here so I don't spoil people who want to experience it. I guess I sort of headcanon her as blood related to my BG1 character in some way.

Xabal: (he/him) started off as a Rogue and is now an Assassin 3, Gloom Stalker 3 and will eventually be Assassin 3, Gloom Stalker 5, Champion 3, Great Old One Warlock 1. Reason: Assassin is to help with surprise attacks and round 1 bonuses. Gloom Stalker up to 5 for all the insane bs Gloom Stalker Rangers get plus extra attack and Misty Step and all that. Champion for the crit bonus since half-orcs do triple damage on crits instead of double and that one point in GOOlock because when you get a crit it basically applies an AoE Fear effect and the Fear status is busted in this game. I made him to see how Minthara is like so the tieflings had an accident. He's also installing brain worms like eye drops. RP-wise the only thing I know so far is that he thinks the world fucking sucks and views death as a mercy if done quickly and he was a career assassin before the events of the game.

Was there something about the character creator that just couldn’t capture your Character? Please tell us about their hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercings, disabilities, their trans or intersex body, or anything else you’re comfortable sharing. (2)

I was already familiar with the CC because I played EA. if anything experiencing the CC of full release allowed me to be more creative since this CC is way more expansive than what we got before. I can never truly make someone that looks "like me" exactly so I tend not to try. especially since we cannot alter the dimensions of the faces in this game. the closest I got was this lil guy:

but this still doesn't exactly look like me but out of all the available options it's....close enough kiiiind of not really

Honestly kudos to the art team, the Dragonborn options are fucking fantastic. it's why I went Dragonborn even though, without mods, the Dragonborn are objectively the worst race in the game from a pure minmax perspective (maybe tied with Humans idk)

Do you have a favorite member of the Goblin Camp? Is it the same as your Character’s? (10)

if it means anyone in the Goblin Camp, not just the actual goblins then

Zeneeva's favorite was the ogre guard cuz he was charmingly stupid. Zenuuja liked Abdirak the Loviatar Priest ...it's quite obvious who Xabal likes the most based on what's going on in the pics

What are your Character’s thoughts on the strange artifact that was in Shadowheart’s possession? Did it jump to your pack because you changed her out of your party? (21)

Zeneeva was curious but not curious enough to pry. Very much a "if it's important I'll find out" sort of mentality. Shadowheart literally never left the party (she was the romance option). plus I was using a Party Limit Remover mod for this run so nobody did. Zenuuja was too focused on her dank urges to really worry about Shadowheart's spiky d20

Xabal got super annoying about it after it flared up at the goblin camp but it's still in Shadowheart's possession at the moment. Since this run is going evil (and I will go the evil route with Shadowheart's story) she's not leaving the party, especially since the evil route has less companions to choose from than the good/neutral routes (Wyll and Karlach leave you and you need to convince Gale to stay, although I didn't recruit Gale this run so I'm curious to see how that plays out)

What does your Character think of Raphael? (39)

Zeneeva: did not trust him. told him to fuck off Zenuuja: initial reaction was to reject him but wonders if he can fix her murder hobo thoughts Xabal: not against working with him but not eager to do it either.

[golbrocklovely]

colby is a very contradicting human being. just when you think he has changed, hes gotten the hint, there is not more he can delete,he goes back and throws in a old snap question from Ms snapchat and we’re back to square 1. i think most of us have caught up to her game by now, how conniving she is, and deemed it pretty pathetic and sad, but he loves to be the second player whenever things are finally starting to settle down and get quiet. if he ruins this year with his shenanigans again i am officially done with all of them. i think twitter has calm down, more people have opened their eyes and then there he goes once again with mlp, and ms snap, and traitor taylor.

i might be giving some controversial yet brave opinions here in this ask lol jk

i'm not saying any of this to you, or that this whole answer is about you, anon. this is more a general, overall feeling i have towards some of the anons i get that mention being upset towards colby about stas or shea or whoever.

i get it can be annoying when he gives attention to these ppl. i understand that it sucks when things finally cool down and grow quiet only for them to start back up again bc he does something. but i think it's good to remember that not everything he does related to these girls is shit-stirring. sure, there are definitely times when he does lurk and likes to see what everyone is saying. but honestly, i don't think this past time (of him using stas' old question on snapchat) was him trying to start anything. highkey he probably just used it absentmindedly. he's used it multiple times in the past, why does now seem different?

also, i feel like just bc we have a problem with someone, and he might have had a problem with this same someone, doesn't mean he has to ignore them for eternity bc it pisses us off. look, i don't like stas, i've made that clear. but i also know that i can't control what he does. even if we all know giving her attention causes issues, it's his life at the end of the day. not to mention, that is his friend regardless of how we feel. sure, they had their problems, they had their kerfuffle; but clearly they moved on from it, even if slightly. she's probably gonna be in videos this year. they might even go on trips together. but that doesn't mean oh he's doing all of this for attention / to start drama back up in the the fandom. tbh i think some of yall give him a lot more credit than you should lol

but even if, for argument's sake, he is doing all of this to shit stir… why isn't he allowed to do that? i get it. it's annoying. but imagine how annoying it must be for him. he can't do anything without being shipped with stas or shea, or another girl if he dares to breathe near her. and even when he tells the fandom to not ship him with his friends, they don't listen. not to mention no girl will ever be good enough for him and this fandom. and then on top of that, he's told who he should and shouldn't hang out with. and while i know a lot of us warn him bc we care, he may not see it like that bc of past fandom bs. he has to walk on eggshells around us in fear of pissing us off which is why he's basically removed himself from almost all social media besides the one he made with sam. he can't even grow facial hair without getting emails sent to his business email telling him to shave it off.

so, is it really surprising that he does shit like this from time to time? if stas can get away with using him for every possible tiktok with a sappy song or poem, why can't he do the same back if he wanted to lol

HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't want to be shipped with her. it doesn't negate all of the things he's outright said about being single or not liking being shipped with friends. he's made it clear that he doesn't like that. but him being petty doesn't take it back either.

if you're annoyed by it all, that's fine. but i think it's good to remember that it's his life and we're just observing it. we can't control what he does, and tbh there is so much more going on then we even know. also... don't let it piss you off so much. if you need to remove yourself from the situation, do that.

[here2bbtstrash]

Hey there, it's the anon you recruited lol

Tbh, i forgot to inform you that it was not only that you convinced to to finally listen to bts, but to kpop in general. I had some weird dislike for bts because of the 'boy with luv' ( was salty they didn't give halsey more lines) and was afraid of k stans in general. I don't personally love their newer releases, but wings is *chef's kiss* and also all of their cyphers are amazing.

I think i'm gonna have to go with Yoongi for my bias. fitting since he was the first person i read fanfic about lmao

Thanks for spicing up my playlist. I'm more cultured now!

(wow this ask became long, sorry for that)

Looking forward to ldomlt and your posts in general, they always bring a smile to my face :D

omg i'm so happy you came back 🥰 hi!!! i'm so excited for you to fall down the kpop rabbit hole with us. there's so much fun to be had!!!

tbh i feel you on the fandom aspect 🙈 i casually followed bts for quite a while before i got fully into the online army world. i think there are a lot of negative perceptions about kpop fandom - some based in truth, some less so - that largely come from the 'vocal minority' that sadly tends to exist for any kind of large community. just gotta carve out your own groove with what works for you!! and as with anything on the internet, the mute/block buttons are always your friends 🫶

and congrats on your immaculate TAAAAAASTE w your album and song choices my friend !!! wings is so slept on imo and has some of my all-time faves. BS&T ofc but like lie? mama? first love? awake? interlude: wings? 2! 3!? 21st century girl????? literally all so good 😭

OMG YOU ARE IN YOUR PRIME, THERE HAS MAYBE NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO BE A YOONGI BIAS THAN TODAY!!!! have you listened to d-day yet, or watched the haegeum MV that just dropped??? i'd love to know what you thought 🥺 definitely make sure you check out his previous solo mixtapes as well if you haven't (agust d and d-2) - the agust d trilogy is truly a goddamn masterpiece!!

also highly recommend digging into the broader kpop scene if you still want more, there's a lot of amazing groups and artists out there beyond just our bangtan boys 🥰 i'll recommend a not-quite-kpop group that is one of yoongi's faves (and inspirations!) and goes well with the more rap-heavy style it seems like you're into - epik high!!! i saw them in concert last month and my god they are just living legends, for real. definitely check them out if you get a chance!!

my response being even longer omg, i threw so much at you 🙈 for real though, i cannot overstate how happy it makes me to hear from you again 💜 got a bias and everything, there's no turning back now!!! 😈 i'm so glad you decided to give bangtan a try, and it means the world that you're enjoying LDOMLT and all of my weird chaos on this little corner of the internet 🥺 thank you for being here!!!! 🫂

[leafington]

𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 .ᐟ - kei t. 📼 ; 004

What's so special about her, huh? Why is he constantly anxious whenever speaking to her? It's been two days. It sounds so out of character for him. Meet a girl at your game, she hits you up, you talk, and you're presented with the opportunity to meet her face-to-face. Not everyone gets to do that! He sounds like Yamaguchi... maybe this wasn't a good idea.

She's an idol—a beautiful one—not that none of them are, but most aren't Tsukishima's type. Does he even have a type? He might just be into exotic people (he's gonna kill Hinata for putting that god-awful thought in his head). Even if Tsukishima was serious about this, was there even time for her to commit? Commit. Committing. The word leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He had enough on his plate as is, can he afford to handle her?

He's thinking too far ahead. They haven't even made it past the talking stage if it could be called that. For now, Tsukishima just settles on the idea that it's just a tiny friendly crush.

"Hey." It's small. So subtle that if it were a virus, worldwide, properly educated professionals wouldn't be successful in finding it. Yeah. A stupid crush, like an elementary school one.

"Can't believe you threatened me to come out here, it's cold as hell." Shivering. To Tsukishima it's not that cold, probably because of his arm sleeves and his adaptation to the climate inside as opposed to the excruciating heat just outside the door. "I didn't threaten anything."

A spectacularly maintained eyebrow curls up. There's no way she isn't aware of how pretty she is. Pretty? Stunning? Gorgeous? No. None of them fit, her beauty is definitely unmatched.

"Right. Next you'll tell me pigs fly." That voice. Just hearing her sing isn't enough, he wants to hear it all the time. Talking, singing, ranting, just keep giving him that pushback. "... Thank you for coming." He lets out, a quick and low nod of gratitude sent her way. "No problem. I wasn't gonna turn down a free invitation. Yeah, I don't know a single thing about volleyball, but I know you were killing it out there. You looked like a damn iron wall." Not necessarily, someone else has that title, or used to. Either way, he's appreciative of the compliment. Tsukishima towers over her stand-offishly, unaware of how to verbalize his thoughts.

How does he even respond to that? Can he counter it eith something else? No, it'll probably come out backhanded. Maybe he could say something about her outfit, or bring up her makeup, or her— "Something wrong? You okay?" He's brought back to reality seeing her snap in his face, face nearly disturbed. "Hm? Yeah. I zoned out. Was thinking about... the game." He has got to work on his flirting more. Y/n eyeballs him weirdly, as if something appeared his face or had some green stink cloud surrounding him. "I'm gonna go. Don't miss me too much." She throws a wink at him which would've killed him if Tsukishima didn't hate expressing himself.

ᐟᐟ☆ fun facts 🥂

₊ ⊹ tsukishima was, in fact, being petty and nasty ₊ ⊹ he also doesnt play that one and done bs, so that's why he's being so "okay miss girl" abt it ₊ ⊹ tsukishima had to fight tooth and nail to get away from publicity which is why he settled in the back (he hates public attention) ₊ ⊹ yachi thought tsukishima was jerking off 😭 ₊ ⊹ this little situationship is starting to boggle his mind just a tad (THE ANGST IS STARTING FOLKS!!) ₊ ⊹ he deleted the tweet 30 mins later bc everyone kept suggesting weird shit

BONUS !! - the post in question

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play the next tape? ──── yes. / previous.

current taglist! - @eujoana89 @cr4yolaas @nbcvs @muskratlove @phoenix-eclipses @yuminako @tsukistopglazer @happiness2014 @babyyitsval @diorzs @keioover

©2024 leafington dont steal please!! :)

[cursedzucchini]

I'm so sorry for this, but i gotta get this cursed idea out of my head. (Also im following DC - disregard canon)

So basically when ra's was just some guy several hundred years ago, who wanted to he immortal for one reason or another. He was looking into the possibility of ghosts and found a ghost king summoning circle. His goal was to force the king to make him immortal, or at least tell him a way, but when he sees Danny, he decides to try another way.

He befriends Danny and kinda genuinely starts liking the guy. Stuff happens and they start dating (at this point ra's stopped being ass obsessed w immortality, but instead shifted his obsession to Danny). Ra's isn't as crazy at that moment and made sure Danny perceives him as his best self. Danny at his part, is just glad his new friend/bf doesn't want the secret to immortality.

Danny, after few years of relationhip, trusts ra's enough to tell him his true name (something which can be used against him) and shows him the infinite realms. Ra's is amazed and they're kinda vibing. Like it's not healthy relationship, ra's lying about so many things and Danny's kinda hoping their issues w way too different opinions work out.

It's not until ra's starts growing old, everything goes to shit. He starts seeing the signs of time on him, and that makes him once again obsess with immortality.

Now personal headcanon of mine is that loving fiercely and obsessively is something all Al ghuls have in common.

So ra's doesn't just leave Danny to go and get his immortality (at this point i feel like he figured several ways, but didn't want to destroy his relationship w Danny), no. My dude decides "hey, my partner is the ghost king, meaning if i become his official lover, I'd get some of that sweet sweet immortality juice myself. And i wanted to marry him anyway, so"

So yes. Ra's uses the true name to marry Danny without his consent and tie his being to him.

And when Danny feels this, hes mad. Bc not only did someone he actually loved betrayed his trust with the true name thing, in the confrontation about all of this, it turns out most of their relationship was a lie!

The argument that follow all of this is huge. Ra's doesn't understand what he did wrong, and Danny's pissed off (maybe he was preparing something for ra's so they could stay together to make it more painful). It ends w Danny storming out of whatever place they lived in.

Ra's angry and feels betrayed too. They finally managed to make their relationship official and Danny's angry???' he destroys the place, and everything that could remind him of Danny.

So when some tired ghost comes in, asking him to sign the divorce papers? No he's not gonna do that.

The ghost was ready for that and told him he could take anything in exchange (Danny was heartbroken and pissed off at that moment, he wasn't really thinking). Ra's was playing with the thought of saying Danny's core, but... that would be for nothing. He wanted to be immortal after all.

So he says that cool ecto pool Danny showed him few years back. And ghost, who was really fucking tired and wanted to quickly get back home, was like "aight"

Thus ra's al ghul got his lil toxic pools.

Six hundred years forward, and suddenly the justice league has an Eldritch god on their hands ranting about their "stupid fucking ex, taking the nice pools in the divorce"

---

My personal hc for this prompt is that Danny found out Abt ra's having the pits, by someone mentioning how unfair it is that red hood gets another chance at life.

Also idk but the idea of ra's heading Abt this, taking out the newest iphone and calling batman like "hey I'm gonna have to warn u, a crazy guy might appear and say some bs Abt me stealing his pools, tHATS NOT TRUE IT WAS A FAIR GAME AND IF HE DIDNT WANT ME TO TAKE THEN, HE SHOULDNT HAVE DICORCED ME D:<"

Idk man just batfam/jl in the middle of them fighting Abt this.

(Damian & Talia would def grow up hearing stories about him and would kinda look up to him, bc ras only told them the cool stuff he did, not the time he stubbed his toe and accidentally created something like a mountain idk)

This is so dumb aight I'm out, I'm so sorry-

situation is - Oh bollocks, it’s my ex. But instead of Constantine and King Shark, it’s Danny and Ra’s Al Ghul

[the-stray-liger]

.