#i think i was just not aware of how often you see with people with great makeup and then think this is what a face is supposed to look like

[hauntingsofafuturespast]

I think the really hard part about this is, no matter HOW self-aware you get there will always be more about yourself that you don't know or more for you to grow into. Just because you are wiser or MORE self-aware than other people around you that doesn't make you flawless or perfect. But what's difficult is-- when you f*ck up NO ONE ELSE knows what to do because 99% of the time you're the person who knows BEST so most of the time you either don't see your faults or you ignore them until they completely blow up in your face and you HAVE to deal with them. But no one around you can help you because THEY AREN'T EVEN THAT FAR ALONG YET and yet people still expect you to act as you've always acted and THAT'S NOT NORMAL so you either wind up trying to pretend like your fine, shove down your problems, cut yourself off from what meager support you maybe DID have, or just completely give up. Ironic, but true.

Additionally, of course, you are often your own worse critic as a way to learn and grow, but that criticism which may normally keep an ego in check can actually fail you in a crisis when it's built on fear.

[cherie-doll]

Can I request COD Men dating a medic reader,??

I love your writing sm ^-^

Ofc!

౨ৎ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

COD Men x Medic!Reader

Price

Imagine being the new medic and you're nervous because it's your first time working there so you have to try your best to hold it together while patching people up

But one day Price comes in injured and you have to control your nerves as you clean his wound up, he's surprisingly nice and even makes small talk with you, it calms you down

After, you manage to keep thinking about that interaction, just how nice it felt to have a normal conversation, it took your mind off of things and honestly it kept you from a mini panic attack from happening

He wishes he could come see you more often, he liked how refreshing it felt to meet someone who seemed a little hesitant, too afraid to mess up, he likes how you smiled after speaking with him

Since he's busy most of the time he can't come to you as often, but I imagine he likes to invite you to just come and talk to him as you drink with him, it's comforting knowing you can bask in his company and he provides you a shoulder to rest on

Ghost

Believe it or not he trusts you a lot, he shows up to your office in his most vulnerable moments, when he's hurt you treat him and never mention anything of it, he knows it's just you doing your job but he can't help but feel like there is an underlying tone to it

He likes resting in your office or recovery room when he wants to get away from everyone else but can't find a quiet place to do so, he likes his alone time and if being in the medic's room where no one is to come in looking for him then he'll stay there during his free time

He secretly started growing a stronger liking to you when you covered for him and told his buddies they couldn't visit because he "needed to rest", not that he hates his friends he just likes his alone time

He often struggles to sleep so to get away from the other soldiers who snore loudly he'll come to you knowing you're almost always up late and drinking tea, like a cat who is content sitting without talking or doing anything next to you and eventually falls asleep

You tend to admire him silently, the features that you can see through his balaclava when he's not aware of it

Soap

Every time he comes to get checked up he likes making you laugh and telling you the worst jokes, but it makes you laugh lightly and honestly keeps you awake and sane from working overtime since you treat a lot of emergencies

He will be laughing as if he doesn't feel the alcohol you're using to disinfect his wound, he likes pretending like he doesn't feel pain when you push the needle in because he doesn't want to be weak in front of you, it's sort of turned into you trying to make him wince or show that it hurts but he tries grits his teeth and holds it in

Doesn't even know he likes you like that until others are teasing him about how often he talks about you and how he'll try to impress you, in his mind he hasn't come to that realization yet, not that he's denying it because he really enjoys your company

You probably get very nervous checking his eyes when you shine the flashlight on them because you notice the way his eyes crinkle, indicating he's smiling and you have to hold the grin before it shows on your face

As a boyfriend he'd be coming by every moment he can to just cling to you when you're on your breaks and you'll have a hard time getting him to leave you alone or give you some space

Gaz

I can imagine him already having a liking to you, he likes coming by every morning that he can to visit you before anyone else can bother you and just hanging around your office when he's in need of good company

You enjoy his company because he's not unnecessarily flirty like other the others are, he's respectful, caring about your mental health because you deal with so many people on the daily but with him it's different, you don't feel that obligation to smile or put on a fake act around him

Your tired eyes light up seeing him knowing you're going to be recharged emotionally and mentally, it's come to the point where you even seek him after your work is done hoping to spend more time with him

It's sort of hard finding time alone together when so many other people are friends with him yet the moment he sees you he'll pull away from everyone else to go to you

Roach

I have a hc that even if he survives the absolute worst situations no one else has he still deals with the aftermath of it and it's many complications and frequently getting checkups from you just to assure his health is good enough to keep getting sent out to missions

He ends up spending more time with you than he does with most of the other soldiers or members of the task force

He confides so much in you, things he'd never share with anyone else and yet you listen to him so attentively it honestly makes him develop an attachment to you and he'd look for any opportunity to reciprocate the attention you give him

You sometimes hate the way others treat him, despite being a chill guy to be around he's often a little out of orbit when it comes to socializing with the others, you'd think going through shit together would unite them but strangely enough he doesn't get enough dopamine from them like he does with you

It might be wrong to feel this way but you care more about him than all the others, you'll rush to attend his needs before the others

Alejandro

He is actually a very lousy patient, it takes you ages to try to get him to take medication or inject the needle into him despite him always teasing the other soldiers who have had medical procedures done to them

You have to be ready with a cloth and ice pack to instantly place on him or else he'll be wanting to bang his head against the wall for the dramatics, you let him hold your hand, anything to bring him comfort or some sort of relief at that point

To avoid getting to that level of pain he'll often drink before coming to you so he's not fully in his senses to actually feel or register anything you may be doing that would usually cause him to panic, you hate when he does this because you prefer him to be fully aware

Other than that he'll always try flirting with you or calling you something like "chula" in Spanish when passing by you and you simply roll your eyes and hide a smirk knowing he's nothing like that when you approach with a needle

Rudy

He's probably known you since before you were a medic, he's seen how much effort you've put into your training to be where you are today he respects you so much for it

He worries so much for you, probably more than you do for him which is funny because he has the "riskier" job, but he often worries about how you are being treated knowing some of the soldiers you treat have trauma and it can make you very stressed with them

He makes sure you get your much needed rest, especially during the breaks everyone else is gone and you still have to stay around "just in case"

There was this one time he was injured pretty badly and he had to be laid down as someone called the medic, he didn't know who would come but he felt his heart skip a beat seeing it was you running towards him, you knelt by his side and with a warm smile reassured him you wouldn't let him slip away from your grasp just yet

He didn't even need a painkiller when he held your hand to his chest so you could feel how much his heart beat showing you he was still alive and well

Phillip Graves

He could be dying on the bed, clutching a wound with blood gushing out and he'll still manage to give a smug smile and ask for your number, you want to suffocate him with a pillow sometimes but you'll most likely be blamed for medical malpractice, instead you just say "HIPPA" and that shuts him up for now

I like to think he brings his Shadows for checkups like a father bringing his children to the pediatrician, some of them aren't fond of it but he makes them go through it to ensure they are healthy and fit for their next mission or training

If one of his Shadows get severely injured he's rushing to see you with them in his arms (he can't actually carry them have you seen how big his Shadows are??) and begging you to help them, will literally be in tears hoping they heal up just fine and that nothing bad ends up happening

Afterwards, you just kinda have to give him that reassurance and he'll be eternally grateful to you for what you do for him and his team, and don't think that just because you aren't "that important" to his company because he makes sure you feel like a vital member of the family

Him and the Shadows will enjoy spending time with you outside of your work area just to show their appreciation

Makarov

You often worry about him, more than you should, he's always taking risks and needed to end up being brought into your office to have something done to him, you can only sigh and lecture him but he's never the type to take his injuries seriously, most of the time he takes bold decisions and that impacts his health

Most of the time he prefers having you go to him, so you have to pack your stuff up and go treat whatever he's dealing with, he often uses these opportunities as excuses to get to know you better and just overall toy with you

You hate when he does this as it wastes time and he's keeping you away from patients who could be needing treatment, whenever you hint at this he simply shrugs it off, clearly not caring about others

You carry so much responsibility on your shoulders to be carelessly leaving where you're stationed to treat a paper cut, but after all he always slips in something extra to keep you coming

Keegan

Loves to initiate arguments with you for the fun of it, you two will be bickering over him not wanting to take a prescription you've given him

You could be stressing over an infected cut and he's trying to act as if it were nothing, that being said the sounds he makes when he's injured and grunting and clutching his arm or side in pain and trying to control his breathing have me AKJERUJS-

He doesn't actually get to see you all that often as he wishes but you know he'll be coming to get "treated" when he comes back from a mission, he always thinks to come see you before anyone else can

And he knows you're often at risk too when you have to go along to treat sick and injured soldiers, he doesn't like to dwell too much on how you could be in danger so he just chooses to focus on his task knowing if he's not careful he won't be able to make it back to tease you again

König

He's the type to rarely go to the medic just because wounds on his body heal insanely fast but also because you will have to FORCE this man to enter your office

He was used to his the previous medic, an older man who took his time with each patient, could barely see which is why he often told the soldiers who came to him to read the medicine labels for him and such

But imagine his surprise when he walks into your office and sees a younger medic there instead of the old medic, he's completely silent as he sits in the chair waiting for you to clean a wound he only came because the pain got so bad he couldn't suppress it

Now he's considering saying he's fine and walking out, but you're already washing your hands and putting gloves on, going over to him and asking for him to show you the injury

He has to look away and his eyes roam the room, looking for something to focus on other than your focused stare, and gentle fingertips that hover over his skin as you inspect the wound that he could have ignored for a little longer

Horangi

He is a headache to deal with, comes in after every mission to get his injuries treated but will talk A LOT, mostly boasting and smug explaining how he got this bruise and those cuts

You're tired of hearing him but honestly you'll take whatever as a distraction, and you know he's BUILT like that man will be flexing his biceps and you can't help but stare at them, also his waist?!?

Before leaving he always jokes for you not to miss him incase he doesn't come back from the next mission, you just roll your eyes because you don't want to admit that he's grown on you and his absence is something you don't even want to think about

He likes sending you notes with flirty messages on them to show his growing interest in wanting to pursue a relationship with you because you never give in to letting him have your number, he always wants to take you out to some fancy restaurant or cook for you himself, anything to get you out of your office for a day and spend it with him alone

Nikto

You're often doing a million things at once, quickly treating a patient and ushering them out so you can see the next one who's grunting as they wait in line, that day Nikto has to get something treated and he just so happens to go on a busy day

You're in a rush to treat your patients in pain but he notices some of them aren't even in pain, they seem to have relaxed looks on their faces and they don't have any wounds that he can see, they even joke and laugh with one another

Turns out some of them are only there to chat with you, as happens most of the time with soldiers who are stationed in one place too long with little to no freedom to roam anywhere else, Nikto doesn't understand why they would waste your time when it's finally his turn to see you and you tenderly yet efficiently treat him

He likes the way you touched him, even if it was only you doing your job, he likes your pretty eyes, even if you barely looked at him, he thinks your voice is precious to hear, even if you only used it to direct a single question to him, now he understands those soldiers in line who don't mind waiting an hour just to be with you for a moment

[pureastrologywisdom]

𝔙𝔢𝔫𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔴𝔢 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔲𝔢

Venus in our natal charts show us the things we see value in. This can be said for people, objects, fashion, aesthetics etc. Venus is a planet that dictates what we think is beautiful or visually appealing. Because of this it’s often viewed as a superficial planet that is visually stimulated. Whilst yes it does focus on the appearance of things, I think this sell the planet short.

The things we love or are attracted to aren’t just the things that catch our eye. The things we are drawn to aren’t only because they look good. Venus is also they value we see in things. After all something may be precious to you yet it means nothing to someone else. Its our personal value. 

You can also see how from this Venus can represent our value we have for ourselves. Our self love. If Venus recognises value in others it also shows us the things we value within ourselves. It’s the things we notice about ourselves that we like. The parts of ourselves we cherish. 

By looking at where your Venus is placed in your chart; by looking at sign, house and aspects, it can show you what you find beautiful about yourself or how you perceive your self value. It can also show if there are any struggles with self worth.

Some placements to lookout for that correlate to struggles with self worth are…

Venus conjunct/ square/ opposite Saturn

This indicates someone who has a lack of self love/worth, who may struggle to see their value. This often stems from childhood, and typically gets better with age. These people are incredibly hard on themselves, and have to learn the lesson of self love, which is constantly being tested.

Venus conjunct/ square/ opposite Pluto

These people can develop an obsession with beauty, holding themselves to an unrealistic standard. They want control over their image, if they think they look a certain way they don’t like they can be almost abusive or cruel to themselves. 

Venus conjunct/ square/ opposite Neptune

It can be really hard to see or recognise your own beauty. No matter how many people tell you, you can’t see it for yourself.

Please be aware these are the worst culminations of these placements.

Thank you for reading my loves.

Pureastrowisdom x

[impactrueno]

I feel like sometimes people project a bit of 'fatherliness' onto cartoon bj (due to the difference in age + close friendship between him & lydia?) which is honestly not present in his character. Like, sure, he wants to keep lydia safe, but he's immature and selfish ... hes beetlejuice.... we have nothing but evidence of how little he thinks about other people's feelings

oh my god i'm so glad i'm not the only one who noticed HAHA

he's very intentionally written as lydia's equal, never an authority or parental figure who's responsible for her. frankly i would argue it's the other way around lmao. that's part of the humor in a lot of situations they've been in (like when he had to go back to kindergarten and she acted as his guardian 😭)

i think the only time beetlejuice has ever displayed anything remotely close to fatherliness was when doomie fell in love with the mayor's pink car and BJ became doomie's grumpy and controlling dad, and only because it was part of the joke.

people often assign these traits to characters after they've slapped the "familial" label onto whatever friendships the character may have. this is why i don't vibe with familial interpretations of their relationship either. it's just...not them! beetlejuice sees lydia as lydia, not a niece, and vice versa. their bond has never been about being found family, it's about two lonely souls finally finding someone who understands them, and nobody else gets them like they do each other. birds of a feather. partners in grime. best friends who are equals. familial bonds are not. you CAN be best friends with your brother, but that's you being best friends with him BESIDES him just being your brother, and not because he's your brother. am i making sense?

the only reason beetlejuice might come off as having any authority over her is because he's sort of like her guide to the neitherworld. but you wouldn't call the cheshire cat an uncle to alice, would you?

and finally, the fact that lydia is the one who holds power over him by being able to summon or get rid of him at will. genie type shit. this just can't be familial, imo.

i've rambled enough and i don't want to ruin people's fun because i'm aware them being family-like is important to some people, but i just needed to share how i personally feel about it lol no one ever talks about this

[uncle-fruity]

As a person who frequently posts in the transandrophobia tag about the issues trans men have to deal with, let me be explicitly clear:

I want you to do what is right for you.

I'm honestly not concerned about your transition, your detransition, or otherwise nuanced state of transness. I speak about the struggles trans men & mascs often experience, not to discourage anyone from transitioning, but rather to educate and arm you with knowledge. It is harder to stand up for yourself when you can't even recognize when you're being wronged. It's harder to stand up for yourself when you think your systemic troubles are actually just personal failings, or when you don't have the language to express what's happening to you. It's harder to stand up for yourself when no one else seems to be interested in standing up for you and you aren't sure if anyone else would even care that you're hurting. I speak about transandrophobia because I think the community as a whole needs more awareness and compassion for trans men & mascs & our issues. There is absolutely nothing I talk about that demands anyone change their identity or their transition plans. Fundamentally, I believe in bodily autonomy -- the right to do what you want with your own body. This is a core belief of transfeminism, and by extension, a core belief of transandrophobia theory.

We absolutely cannot allow the people who reject the theory outright define it. If you think the people who hurl insults and harassment at us to discourage us from speaking on our lived experiences are more reliable sources for what transandrophobia is about than the trans men & mascs who are literally experiencing it, then that is exactly part of the problem we're trying to address.

Stop taking these kinds of statements at face value. You have GOT to resist internalizing generalizations about whole groups of people. You should never accept any narrative without giving it some real critical thought, which does mean going out of your way to find direct sources and to analyze who is pushing what narrative and what reasons they would have to do so. In the case of transandrophobia, you need to look at the actual posts that define it, and you have to speak with trans men & mascs directly in good faith! When someone is critical of our theory, you need to ask why, and then you need to see if their criticisms hold any truth or if they are reactionary & unsupported or if they rely on biases being accepted as truth to hold up their argument.

And while I know that on the internet it isn't considered as funny or cool to be kind/neutral as it is to be mean, it is 100% possible to be critical of something without resorting to insults, dehumanization, ridicule, or harassment. That is not how you make an informed criticism. That is not how you win an argument. That is not how you call out people you (claim to) love.

So, yeah. Your personal decision to transition or not is none of my business and, in fact, is no one's business but your own. You do what's right for you! You make your own choices! That is the official position of transandrophobia theory.

Kind of mad abt the whole "Transandrophobia theory is made to make trans men wanna detransition" Idk, I wanted to detransition when I saw posts talking about how we as a group need to shut up and how we're worse off for being men BEFORE I saw other trans men talk about how this sucks. I don't think us talking about it is making us want to detransition I think you all telling us we're evil for transitioning does.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Ok there seems to be some people still unconvinced with having a reverse crush with Sonic and Amy so Im going to give my input about it, in my opinion it's even logical at this point:

The Sonic from the videogames and the Sonic from the live action movies are obviously different, Videogame Sonic is often portrayed as someone very confident, someone who is already a hero, too cool for school, someone so free that even though he has a lot of friends he seems to like and treasure his time alone, also it's been confirmed that SEGA doesn't like Sonic having strong emotions, also he has already knowledge of his homeworld and was never surprised to see other people of his kind and the first portrayals of Amy were too pushy, stalky and obsessed with him, he was annoyed by her and it was doom to be a one sided crush until the recent changes in her behavior that as simple as she is still openly in love with him but she isn't forcing it on him and as a result he is more comfortable with her and he doesn't reject her as much as before or at all so we don't have a relationship confirmed but we got a ambiguous relationship like: "yes there is something cooking but you only get to smell the food, you'll never eat it"

Then we have the Sonic of the movies, this Sonic barely knows nothing about his homeworld aside the parts his caretaker who was an owl and not his biological mom allowed him to be and is also aware of the echidnas because he was attacked by them before coming to earth. Then on earth he was heartbreakingly lonely for years and that made him be socially awkward and clumsy even though he is an extrovert even pretending he was familiar with Tom and Maddie before he actually became their "son" , this Sonic had to learn to fight on the way through the movies while dangerous things just suddenly kept happening to him, he wasn't a match for knuckles at the beginning because knuckles was already an expert fighter and Sonic wasn't, he wasn't immediately accepting with Tails because he was not confident enough to trust someone he just met even though Tails was helping him and he almost killed Shadow on a fit of vengeful rage, this is not how videogame Sonic behaves, he isn't this much awkward and emotional teenager, movie Sonic is more energetic than Sonic Boom's Sonic and just as chatty as Sonic prime's Sonic and almost nothing like SonicX's Sonic (I don't know the other series he has), also Shadow is literally the first other Hedgehog he ever saw in his life. Also movie Amy is already a badass fighter, that comes from his homeworld, she probably already saw other hedgehogs, also I'm sure she has also the Tarot cards skills she has in the games (and that's why she is there), THIS is the Amy that presents herself to Sonic: a badass female hedgehog that saved him under the moonlight, the second Hedgehog he meets but specifically the FIRST FEMALE hedgehog he ever sees! So given the clumsy wannabe cool dork teenager personality he has, being the first time he sees a female of his species, saving him with such a badass move, an encounter alone in the night... Do you really think is realistic to expect him to be cool and collected about it? This is a huge deal 😂😂, there's no way logically speaking this Sonic isn't going to be nervous and awkward, is impossible to think he is not going to be into Amy 🤣🤣 after that.

But I don't think this is a "reverse crush" I totally think that obviously Amy is going to have a crush on him too, just not as outrageously obvious and obsessive, I think is going to be: "he acts clumsy, she thinks he is cute" and then she'll fall harder once she sees his heroic side, something like: "he fell first, she fell harder" what do you think?

Also, I just noticed that Shadow is kinda in the same situation as Sonic... I mean this time he isn't a creation but a finding inside a meteorite... He has never seen a girl hedgehog either right? Anyway giving his personality I doubt he would be a clumsy dork with her like Sonic would be... I mean it's Shadow 🤷🤷 but maybe she is a bit into him and Sonic gets jealous... Who knows 😏 a bit of Shadamy doesn't hurt.

But again, don't expect anything canon canon, it's probably going to be as I said before: "something is cooking but we only get to smell the food and never eat it"

[causenessus]

hi! i'll keep this short

i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3

oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!

[jeonscatalyst]

as someone whos been on army twitter since 2018, it only seems like armys dont support jikook's bond the way jikookers do is because shippers are in a sub-fandom and within that subfandom they are in an echo chamber. its nothing unusual it's in literally every fandom but thats the only reason lol. like taekookers are saying the exact same thing, that the fandom is full of jikookers and everyone dismisses taekooks bond. solos and shippers all have their own "evidence" and "proof" or armys "not defending ___", and 9.9/10 its something 1) armys have never seen or even heard about bc twitter and the internet is a biiiig space or 2) something taken completely out of context. i like to be in this tag bc ive been an ot7 biased army since 2019 with jikook being my fav duo, and while i dont care to know if theyre in a relationship with each other, its not something crazy either because friends to lovers is like the oldest trope ever and also theyd be cute as hell together lmao. i dont follow any solo focused accounts or pairing accounts, literally only armys and when are you sure came out my tl looked like this tag 😭. armys are well aware of jikook's bond and are supportive of it, the issue is taekookers. i could make a thread of vmin, namkook, sope are married and get 10k likes, but i couldnt do that bc of taekookers. theyd swarm the quotes and no thats not armys doing it or armys fault, thats the twitter algorithm being 100000000x worst after elon musty took over bc it was not like that at *all* pre-him. with likes being hidden and the algo pushing deplorable disgusting terrible tweets, it makes it infinitely harder to take accts down.

also its like the way straight armys and lgbtq+ armys experience being a fan. you notice subtexts and clues that may or may not actually be there or mean what you think/want it to mean but its still your fandom experience and youre able to talk about it with other like-minded people. perfect example for this: like crazy. the queer coded-ness of it all, the makeup & earing on one side, jimin in my eyes created the bisexual Iliad in song form ! but thats not how most het armys wouldve viewed it at all, and that doesnt even mean my interpretation of it is correct or the only way to view it. im not going to look down on those who viewed it differently. so shippers are experiencing something different; they watch their pairing to see how they look at each other, touch each other, speak to each other, treat each other compared to everyone else. armys simply arent doing all that; and that doesnt mean we dont care or that shippers love them more (lol), it just means that within the shipping culture and sub-fandom, thats what yall do. which is cool, but like i said its not the *only* way an army can love and appreciate their bond. there's also the echo chamber aspect of the subfandom culture i didnt really get into but it also plays a huge part in why jikookers think armys dismiss or dont love jikook in the same way jikookers do. all this isn't necessarily a slight against you but i think conversations like these are necessary bc talking points like "armys dont actually like seeing jikook together" or "majority of the fabdom is taekookers who hate jikook" are extreeeemely slippery slopes that discourage any type of meaningful thought, and only encourages and eggs on solo rhetoric, which as we hopefully all know is directly antithetical to what any of the boys would ever want.

Hi anon,

I completely understand the points you’ve made, and I do agree with you to an extent. It’s true that in every sub-fandom within the main fandom, whether it’s Taekookers, Jikookers, other shippers, or solos, everyone essentially complains about the same issues, each armed with their own “proof” to justify their arguments. That part, I fully agree with.

However, while I see your point, I do want to emphasize that Jikook’s bond is often undermined by many within the fandom. And it’s not just Taekookers or solos; even some OT7 fans contribute to this. The reasons for this vary. Yes, you’ll find other groups complaining about the same things we do, but when you dig deeper to understand their grievances, it often turns out to be something taken out of context or just bitterness over someone highlighting Jikook or saying something positive about their bond.

The truth is that Jikook’s bond stirs mixed feelings in this fandom for many reasons. It has never been the simplest relationship to understand…or even to love, if I’m being honest. Many people join fandoms and sub-fandoms as an escape from real life issues, seeking something that feels lighthearted, comforting, or entertaining in their spare time. Because of this, a lot of people dislike grappling with more complex dynamics like Jikook’s. They either reject it outright because they don’t understand it or ignore it altogether. This lack of understanding often leads to their bond being undermined.

Jikook’s dynamic has historically made many people uncomfortable for a variety of reasons that I won’t delve into here. But when we talk about this fandom ignoring or undermining their bond, there is more than enough evidence to support that claim.

In contrast, what’s complicated or complex about Taekook? Their dynamic is fun, easygoing, and comforting, qualities that are universally appealing. There’s no need to overthink their interactions or navigate any layers of complexity when watching them. Everything that has ever appeared complex about those two is largely a result of shippers fabricating explanations to reconcile their behavior with the expectations of a romantic dynamic. These narratives are often crafted to justify why they don’t exhibit the typical actions or interactions one might expect from a couple… I.e Taekook not seen spending much time with each other = the company separating them or regulating their interactions on camera. Most people in the fandom, except for some Jikookers and solos, have no reason not to enjoy their dynamic. An easy way to see this is by observing the response to their content. A Taekooker can make up lies, edit photos, or take moments out of context, and it will gain over 20k likes, with the fandom eagerly eating it up. Meanwhile, Jikookers can post real, authentic moments of Jikook, only to have their posts reported. So, no, for the most part, Taekookers don’t have a strong basis for their claims. (This isn’t the bone of contention but just had to mention this)

I also agree with you that many fans don’t pay attention to the same things shippers and solos focus on. Sometimes they’re simply unaware of certain dynamics, which can come across as indifference. I also don’t entirely agree with the narrative that ARMYs dislike seeing Jikook together. I’ve seen the fandom be supportive of Jikook as a duo but I still firmly believe Jikook is one of the pairs whose bond is most heavily undermined. A clear example of this is how much of the fandom dismisses Jikook’s interactions as mere fanservice, simply because some of their moments appear too “intimate” or “gay” for their liking.

This is definitely a topic that deserves more discussion because there’s so much to unpack here.

[rongzhi]

(Apologies in advance for typos.)

^ My original tags on this, but actually, I wanted to expand on my views about this a little bit based on some other collected musings I had about the XHS move (which—now that the dust has settled a bit, is it still going on? I don't even know). I'll preface this by saying that my own XHS has been pretty much spared of the wave of American signups, since my feed is mostly art/tattoos and not so much lifestyle/vlogs.

Mainly, I wanted to dig into that feeling of being "over it", a sentiment I've seen circulated on Tumblr by other Chinese diaspora. I think it's a IYKYK situation in some ways but I wonder if non-Chinese diaspora are precisely aware of why there is a underlying sense of caution and this side-eyeing toward everything going on. (To an extent, I think non-Americans who have to deal with us Americans dominating internet spaces probably also have some insight into this.)

Essentially, after that initial cute "haha" feeling of seeing people jump into a new space and meeting all the new people, for me personally, just from having run this blog for 4 years now, I feel distinctly aware that things could go wrong.

Others have said it better, be it pointing out the infantilising or inherent sinophobia, but there is a slant to that attitude of jumping on a new app and discovering that Chinese people can be funny, that they can be kind, that they are sociable and, in basic terms, "just like you", that leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Oh, you just realised that? People can argue that it was never possible to connect with Chinese netizens before all they want, but in fact, clearly, it was as easy as downloading an app that's free on U.S app stores. Next, you could say, well, there's cultural exchange happening now, which is better than nothing, so what are you so pissy about! I agree, I'm not saying it's a bad thing that some Americans are finally making some attempt to converse with someone outside of their Western, Anglo internet bubble (even if they did so as in the comfort of what is essentially another bubble, as part of a trend). Obviously there is a net good to a person joining XHS, and my wariness mostly comes down to this sense of "discovery" coming with a feeling that Chinese people are still getting lumped into a monolith. Maybe now the monolith is nice and friendly; now the monolith is cute and funny and helpful.

What happens if the Tiktokers realise that some Chinese people also are more socially conservative, or that there are societal issues that Chinese people still have to work through, which aren't ideal or progressive enough for the Enlightened Americans—then what? I've already seen the answer in smaller doses over the years, so I don't know about others, but this is something that I—maybe—hopefully just cynically—can't help but keep my ears tuned towards: the other shoe dropping. Again, for Chinese diaspora (and no doubt, diaspora of any culture in a similar situation), it's "if you know, you know"; we've seen the fickleness of attitudes. The xenophobia and sinophobia that run rampant in U.S society (and I'm sure other western countries, but I speak as a USian) is well known to us in a way that mainlanders often don't take heed toward. Even if there is a sinophobic backlash over anything that arises online, the brunt of it won't be felt by Chinese netizens but us Chinese diaspora who spend the most time in Anglo internet spaces. So, I'm a bit over it all. I've seen how interest in China can play out—for example, how learning Mandarin or being a fan of cdramas or hanfu hardly frees a person of their sinophobia or from regurgitating xenophobic talking points.

It's nice but naive to think that the majority of the tiktokers playing around on XHS right now, trading memes and basking in the numbers of Chinese social media, will truly self-interrogate all too deeply. If some of them seem to have only just realised that Chinese people are ~so nice~, how Other have they been seeing Chinese diaspora? Is that still the case? Will they necessarily make the same effort to know and listen to Chinese diaspora? (People in cfandom will know the answer).

Again, I think there's an overall positive to all this, especially in this ~political climate~ (altho I doubt the people who need positive interaction with Chinese people the most downloaded XHS lol). I guess I just wanted to add all this because because I feel like my first response was quite vague and on second thought, I figured I might as well try to unravel some of my thoughts and impart them to anyone who maybe had no idea there was this perspective to things. Call me jaded or no fun at parties all you like, but that's literally just how it is.

Lastly, I'll just say that from me scrolling douyin, I've also seen how people in China have reacted to the influx of Americans on XHS, so I can tell you a little bit of the other side. It also corresponds a little with what I'm trying (but maybe failing) to say about Chinese diaspora: the people who have been having as much/equal fun with the convergence of internet spaces have been mainlanders with no general dealings with Americans. In the past week, the bloggers I've seen who've been vocal/warning about Chinese people not bending over backwards to start speaking English all the time, or just following/kissing up to Americans because they're white*, have been Chinese netizens—mainly students—who live/study abroad.

* Yes, obviously there are non-White Americans, but white people are, as ever, uplifted the most by society on the basis of being white. We know this.

how do you feel about so many americans getting on 小红书?

[winniefrezcomics]

Why is Ved like that?

Like a freak, I mean

That, my friend, is an EXCELLENT question dbebddbdhd, and one that I actually do have an answer for!! 🤓

Veds mentality is… UNIQUE, let’s say. He’s proud to be an anti-fairy, and leans into it HARD. this is due to two main factors:

The first factor is- While MOST anti faires discover fairly quickly that thier species are considered the “opposite” of faires, that faires are the dominant magical species on earth, AND that the earth adheres to FAIRY standards of “good” and “evil”- Ved learned those things a little late. Despite Elads best efforts, Ved’s Dad wasn’t exactly RUSHING to make sure Ved had a full, cohesive understanding of his species and thier place in the world, since he was more focused on just keeping his son ALIVE and minimizing the amount of damage his magical outbursts would cause to anti-fairyworld in his pup’s adolescence (when Ved’s magic was the most destructive)

This, combined with Ved’s special ability to glimpse into other dimensions that he’s had since birth, has led to something strange in his Psyche: Ved doesn’t think Evil, dark, or scary things are “bad.” Most anti-faries share this line of thinking, of course, but Ved growing up somewhat an outcast, and seeing countless universes where Dark, disturbed and evil WERE the norm, has led to a single, festering thought- one that’s eaten away at Ved ever since he first discovered that faires got to decide what was “correct” for the human race: WHY.

Why are anti faires the “opposite”? Surely FARIES are the opposite of THEM as well? So then, why are faries considered ‘RIGHT’? Why are their customs? Thier lifestyle? Who decided anti-faries being dark and evil was “WRONG”?

Unfortunately for EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, Dev being an incredibly lazy fairy means that Ved, his opposite, is CRAZY AMBITIOUS, and will ‘play nice’ for as LONG as it takes to reach his goal (turning the earth into a dark, evil paradise where anti faires can be the dominant magical species)

THIS is why Ved is an irredeemable villian; you can’t appeal to his morality, because his morality is COMPLETELY flipped, and it secretly BUGS HIM when other antis ALSO decide to adheare to the fairy definitions of “right” and “wrong”- (he resents his father for this especially)

Thats not to say he’s one-dimensional tho! Despite being the cartoonishly-evil ‘series’ antagonist, I’ve taken care to keep my writing for Ved emotionally nuanced, so I sincerely hope yall find him as fun as I do, and aren’t too disappointed by his lack of a planned ‘redemption arc’ 😅

Also here’s a fun fact about how Ved communicates that will become clear very quickly upon his arrival- most people only think he’s ‘nice’ because he’s always saying very kind things to people and faries alike, but word to the wise? If Ved ACTUALLY likes you, expect to be INSULTED, because while he DOES usually mean everything he says, if he gives you a compliment, it’s NOT a good thing, and u may have even pissed him off somehow ☠️

Poor Hazel thinks she and Ved are good friends… I think only Dev, Iris and other Antis are aware of this “reversed” manner of speaking (Perry often has to ask Dev for clarification- it’s a bit confusing, but that’s intentional on Ved’s part ☠️)

[noahs-blue-jeans]

Unspoken Moments

Desktop means title! this is a long one btw

I've been thinking about the unspoken moments between Byler which brings to mind that, for Season 5, they've cast young versions of Mike, Will, and Jonathan. I'm not the first to speculate that we'll be getting some Lonnie scenes, nor the first to probably suggest this, but I wanna parse it out anyway.

I think Mike and Will may have done something gay without realizing it, and Lonnie and Jonathan found them. Lonnie first, even. What could they have done? Any innocent thing lonely young gay boys would do: caught holding hands, sharing a space very closely (looking at Will's drawings in bed together perhaps). Any number of things that a fuck like Lonnie clocks as fag behavior.

And I think this could be the inflection point in both boys' sources of trauma, in regards to their internalized homophobia. A trauma that Mike took further to heart which didn't break until seasons 3 and sort of 4, when he becomes the way he is in those periods.

Parents are also, despite popular belief, not often stupid when reading their children. Lonnie is horrible and Ted Wheeler is a lame ass bitch, but they are still correct in clocking their sons' queerness the same as Joyce and Karen, who of course have a loving and accepting approach. Joyce is most explicit in accepting Will, and Karen gives Mike The Speech that many queer kids get from their well meaning parents, a big signal that she knows Mike loves will as more than just a friend.

Alongside this moment at 8 years old, I think both boys have become increasingly aware of how they behave with each other, and other moments may have happened off screen that we could see in S5 flashbacks.

Even in the 80s, little gay boys knew they are gay and liked their best friends. I have no doubt Mike--as much as Will--is aware that he loves his best friend romantically. You know how you feel about people, even at a young age, and in the moments of Mike's solitude, after spending time with El and playing at kissing, you cannot tell me he doesn't instead think about Will. That he doesn't think about when they'd play together, or watch movies just them, or when they would sit close and look at Will's drawing together. That fingers or knees would touch and they're too young to really notice the implications, but they know they like it and each other.

This, to me, adds to the many explanations for Mike's behavior in seasons 3 and 4, and why he begins to come around by the end of the latest season, since he's old enough to be physically unable to deny it anymore, and beginning to accept that he and El won't work because of how he feels about Will. I like to imagine that those few times Mike's calls got through, he and Will would exchange a few pleasantries but then they'd sit there in silence, not even realizing they're listening to the other's breathing. A tension felt across the continent, sure as the sun sets in the west.

This freaks them both out, we don't see it, and instead we see Will coming to terms with his feelings as best he can by way of The Painting; Mike, in contrast, puts on a false persona to hide from these feelings.

In conclusion! I think these two shared some unspoken, unseen moments that we will soon get in flashbacks and Vecna Visions, and we will see these boys go on the journey of accepting them and finding power in the love they've always shared.

[ladyofthehightower]

the fandom made me team green

When I started watching House of The Dragon I had literally no preference for team green or team black, because I didn't know there were teams to pick. I had only ever been a casual Game of Thrones enjoyer, but I recognised Matt Smith from Doctor Who in the trailer and therefore got excited.

I had no knowledge of the plot, no knowledge of any characters or plot points, I didn't even remember that the dance and Rhaenyra had been mentioned in GoT. I wasn't aware of Fire & Blood.

Immediately upon watching I fell in love with the characters of Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightower, without knowledge of what would happen between them. I even tweeted like damn! these girls gay!

to which someone replied... You'll never guess what's about to happen. And I didn't. Alicent marrying Viserys was... not in my cards, but it was clear to me that she was a victim in that situation!

Colour me surprised then when, around episode 2 or 3 of season 1, I joined the fandom for real and found out that everyone HATED Alicent. THIS GIRL??

While I was "neutral" at first, I was absolutely pushed into team green and that side of the fandom seeing how team black was acting on twitter. The way they weaponised real life issues to act like preferring one group of fictional characters makes you morally superior did absolutely not sit right with me.

And when I then realised that oh... this is about the book—at which point I knew that the show and books were clearly telling different stories—I completely lost interest in taking those people seriously. If you cannot separate two clearly different stories then I'm not gonna treat you like an intelligent person, because you're not. If you refuse to do it, then I'm not gonna treat you like an adult, because you're not.

Often I find that team black analysing is based in ignoring character POV's and thinking everyone who isn't on their knees for Rhaenyra is an evil villain with no function except BE EVIL. They claim to be the only ones who understand that HoTD is a story about misogyny, but spew it carelessly about Alicent and Helaena, and about the actors behind those characters!

Takes like this only makes sense if you completely ignore their history (which, as I touched on in my Driftmark post, is an unfortunate trend in this fandom lol) as well as Alicent's perspective in this moment. It simplifies the situation like crazy to make Alicent appear evil. It's boring and just bad, frankly.

I think it goes without saying that there are, of course, weirdos and freaks on both sides of the fandom and that not everyone who likes team black is a fucking loser, nor is everyone who likes team green an intelligent person! In every fandom there will be people who cannot act like grown up people, despite being in their 20s and older.

Anyway. Happy 2025 :)

[fox-guardian]

what is your opinion on people censoring jimmy’s name? i don’t like it personally because it erases blame. in real life the main goal is for people to know the names of r@pists so they can be aware and the victims always want people to know who hurt them so someone can take the blame for actions. i feel that when people censor jimmy’s name, it erases any blame for his actions. “i hate japist so much for what he did to anya!” okay but what’s his name? who hurt anya? who is to blame for his actions? by censoring his name, it takes the blame off of jimmy.

I get that perspective, but idk if it erases blame in this context? We all know who it's supposed to refer to (especially since all the nicknames start with j, so you can't confuse it with another character). It hits different for a Character in a Story like this vs an actual person who Could do harm to real people. I think that's a fair enough take to have tho, I can see why that'd bother you.

Regardless, that's not to say I don't Also find it a little annoying for my own reasons. Especially when people do it in serious conversations or pick especially tasteless names to call him. Like using a play on actual predators names. Who Have hurt real people. Like it's such a funny joke.

My biggest beef with it is that it often feels. Performative? I guess? Like "HEY LOOK HOW MUCH I HATE JIMMY I won't even say his NAME" yknow? It Feels sometimes like some (not all) people who do this don't want to engage with him as a character, which is not good because we Should be engaging with him. Talking about him and what he did, how it's not dissimilar to things in real life. The greatest horror of mouthwashing is that Jimmys do exist and if we refuse to look at even a fictional version of that type of guy, it'll be easier to miss it when people like him do harm irl.

Again, I don't think everyone who does the nicknames/censoring thing are like this or whatever, but sometimes it does just. Rub me the wrong way. Gets old.

[lifenconcepts]

honestly, as someone who is a wolf therian, and also interested in human and animal psychology, I must add that most people can be recognised for reverting to a more simple mental state when sick, I’m unsure if any study has been done on it but through my own experiences and of those I knew I can find that the mind just goes into a survival mode and turns off the more complicated functions to be able to focus on those which are needed for fighting whatever infection or harm the body is baring currently and to be able to sustain yourself enough to continue towards life, and it can be simple to paint it as your identity because when you’re so aware that you’re an animal (or any term or belief, at that) then you tend to subconsciously seek out proof of that, even if that would’ve otherwise gone unnoticed. Not denying you of yourself but just pointing out that it’s a phenomenon many experience, albeit usually seen as reverting to the state of a ‘child’ than animal- given that most of the more mature logic is shunned in favour of simple and coherent conclusions, it could be through behaviour that immediately work as this snappy “I don’t feel okay and so I must be in danger and so I must fight” when usually it comes through as “I feel a bit under the weather, I wonder what I had done to invoke this, perhaps my head hurts because I’ve spent a bit too long on this activity, then to rest up I’ll stop doing it and allow my body to recover, maybe even drink some water because I haven’t done so in a while”.. keep in mind that this often happens without even consideration! It’s these neural impulses within our mind that can snap around at something close to light speed and not always is worded out (hell, I don’t even have an internal monologue!) yet the understanding is still there. Okay but what I also wanted to say is that if bedridden, our silly instincts also come to play more loudly than when healthy, because there’s less of that conscious self that tries to stop us (we always tend to think of how we look and act, as it so happens, and hide or fake behaviour to come across as what we think others want of us), so even those who don’t identify as animals may find themselves speaking through noises, acting in ways they usually wouldn’t (staring, tilting head, etc), and presenting with things we usually associate with animals. If you look for it, there’s so much more we have in common with other species! Humans and creatures do have a lot of similarities after all! We also sometimes tend to seek our touch, like cats, or on the contrary change our minds and want our space and boundaries, also like cats. Or want to run around and spend time with a person we adore, like a dog.. we wish to fly - like the birds, and comfort in repetition is nearly a universal pattern. Basically I’m just sharing my little say on this, without any harm intended.

ah, sorry for the ramble.. I like writing and this just prompted me to share what I’ve learnt on this topic so far. Thanks for the opportunity but sorry for the response if you didn’t want it haha..

I’ve had a few of such encounters myself! Some times where I feel like an animal, usually a hound, and other times just like a weakened person. It can just come as a sharp realisation but usually for me came across just with ‘if you pay attention to it, you’ll find stuff that meet your beliefs’. Similar to how optimists often spot the good stuff and that proves their point and makes them like life more, while those with critical worldviews tend to ignore the good in favour of the negative and say ‘hey! See!? There is bad!! So I was right in thinking the world is awful!’ When in fact it can just be the same exact balance of situations to one another, but then again, each individual is made different and goes through life differently. Still! There are always occasional similarities that tie us closer and create bonds!!

I got really sick recently, to the point where I was bed ridden in so so much pain and something I found is that I revert to some of animal instincts a lot more then when I’m healthy.

For example I got so extremely productive of my den and pack member. To the point where I was basically growling at people who were being too friendly. My teeth where nearly always beared when in others presence and I was so worried that my home (friend included) was in danger.

I could also not stomach anything that wasn’t in a foxes diet (bread, certain meets) I was only eating fruit and chicken at one point.

Overall it was a very weird experience 😁

[fluentisonus]

working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Just once, I would like to be able to have a conversation about my feelings with someone where they don't, at some point, start trying to explain to me why something happened such that they are either implying or outright stating I should stop having noticeable feelings at them about a thing and/or telling me that I'm wrong about how I feel and actually if I just understood this thing I would see that I'm being unreasonable to say I feel the way I do.

Just once, for someone's response to be "it sounds like you're feeling [insert thing, e.g hurt, sad, scared, tired, angry, etc], I'm sad that you are dealing with that." Not to take responsibility for my feelings! But for them to acknowledge that they're happening and might matter to me before they move on to whatever the fuck next thing they have to say is