#i think i tried that kind of lineart once

[nox-in-a-box]

“There’s a WHAT?!”

be careful this bitch is lying theres NO caterpillar in ur hair. in fact when you start trying shaking it off he'll try to stop you bc what if you accidentally hurt it and something gross stays in your hair? LIAR HE JUST WANTS AN EXCUSE TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR. AFTER HE DOES IT HE'LL SHOW YOU THE CATERPILLAR HE “SAVED YOU FROM”. HE CAUGHT IT IN THE BUSHES BEHIND AND HID IT IN HIS SLEEVE

[mikeystrawberry]

Today is Dungeons & Daddies’s 5th Anniversary!

I haven’t been listening for nearly that long but the podcast and all its characters means a lot to me. Happy Anniversary!!!

Throwing the cropped sections under the cut because there’s a lot of stuff going on and I know Tumblr likes to throw half the pixel quality out the window. And also so I can ramble a bit about this piece!!!

This piece has been months in the making, possibly an entire year. And by that I mean I’ve had a sketch of the comp scribbled on my whiteboard for ages because I wanted to save this specifically for 5th anni art. Now onto design stuff!

(First off a random thought: I really love how the garlic knot came out, I kind of want it as an enamel pin.)

I knew I wanted to make this a stained glass piece since the beginning, but I was also going to add flowers at one point but quickly dropped the idea. It felt like too much and I also didn’t want to fuss over flower language assignments for everyone. I was also going to add Doodler tentacles, but also dropped that idea pretty early. Kind of on accident, right at the end, I figured out how to make it even more stained glass-like but taking a duplicated lineart underneath the regular layer and turning the brightness all the way down, then setting it to overlay and adding a guassian blur. It’s very subtle but it adds that tiny bit of depth that makes it look more real. As for shading on the lineart/gold, I tried adding more highlight on the characters who died but once I evened everything out it wasn’t as noticeable anymore so I’m throwing that thought here so the attempt at least known lol.

The order of characters only changed a little bit from my original comp, I flipped the Wilsons and the Oaks so the rainbow could work. As for the anchors, specifically in season 2, I lined them up to the teens since the season 1 anchors lined up with each dad:

Tony —> Scary: his death was the beginning of Scary’s betrayal arc and also Willy killed him.

Guitar Pick —> Taylor: it’s not really aligned with Taylor at all, but the anchor was with Glenn so I put it next to his blunt.

Scroll —> Normal: was only because it was the last left to give him, but there’s the whole scene of him and Hermie in the Green Room so it still works!

Garlic Knot —> Link: one of two that he broke, but the more significant of the two with him telling Grant he never wants to see him again.

Small notes on the season 1 anchors: I put the layer of mold in the overnight oats but you can’t really tell with the overlay. And to make the supper bowl more interesting I added the fantasy sodas mix they dumped into it. The lure of actually drawn before so I just traced my own art lol.

As for the other smaller triangles, it took me a bit to figure out what I wanted to put there. I didn’t even think of adding the vehicles until two days ago but I’m so glad I did. I don’t really have my own take on the mascot version of the Doodler (yet?) so I borrowed the design from one of the stickers in their merch shop. Teeny was terrifying as just a front facing head so I made him cute again.

In the outer circles, I put what I felt was the most significant quotes for each family. I really wanted to use “It’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to be cruel” but it was just a little too long.

That’s all I can think of! If you read all the way through, thank you for indulging me in my excitement to gush over this piece.

[marveliciousfanace]

I've said for the better part of two years, well before it was even announced, that a Misfits and Magic season 2 might kill me, and in fact it tried (in only the best ways)! And not only did it give me the gift of a new all-time favorite D20 episode (sorry, Neverafter's "Once Upon A Time," there's a new dealing-with-PC-death-in-the-most-perfect way episode, and it's "A Place of Knowing"), it also gave me something I've been waiting years for: little lineart symbols that perfectly match my usual tattoo aesthetic, so I can finally get the D20 tattoo I've been dreaming of, for my favorite campaign, no less.

Just one problem: I'm not much for social media, and having consumed all the MisMag season 2 content I can find, I still can't find anything that confirms what all six of the little creature symbols should be. So I figured I'd farm the question out to the internet, and see if anyone saw/heard something I missed. So: the index cards.

The warm half of our color wheel, as depicted by the Gowcentric Orrery, is straightforward. The symbols appear on Tabby in direct coordination with their names when the Pilot Program visits Galamanis, the Qohlye, and Weugan in episodes 2, 3, and 6. They also all look reasonably recognizable as their animals (I'd say the Qohlye the least, and Weugan the most, but there's still a winged goat, a lizard, and a dog in the shapes). So that was easy. The problem is, unless I missed something, we're not shown the other three island/creatures in as straightforward a way.

Across different episodes, we do see symbols that clearly represent Tabby, the knotted symbol for magic's rules, and, of course, Tabby's enemies to lovers best friends relationship with Jammer, but because they're recognizable, I discounted them from my research. But, in episode 4 (on Seegenpelater) we do see three other symbols, which are never formally explained on the show, appearing when the Pilot Program are conversing with text-Tabby. Without finding anything to confirm or deny it, I've assumed that these three other symbols are in fact the cool side of our color wheel, breaking Tabby's pictogram language into the six basic magic principals he was made to coordinate. Which leaves the problem of working out which symbol is which of our favorite little magic guys.

With limited understanding, the only clues I really could think to go off of were the general shape of the symbol, and the word they appear before on Tabby's tablet when he's doing his magic-eight-ball routine. I'm almost 100% certain the above symbol is Seegenpelater's. I'd say this looks about as close to a two-headed camel as the warm side of the wheel looks to their animals. It also was accompanied by the word "doubtful" on Tabby's screen, which I do think corresponds reasonably to Seegenpelater being the basis of illusory/enchantment magic (ie, magic that casts reality in doubt). That would make it the blue wedge, opposite Galamanis, and leaves us with purple (Miskoro) and green (Tadershecourt).

This is where I hit the snag. I don't think either of these especially resembles our boy Tad. I could honestly see an argument for either depicting an antlered creature. My best guess is that the one on the left is Miskoro and the one on the right is Tad: I'd say the left looks to me like a winged guy with a tail, and the right does have a vague skull shape to it. We also see both of these symbols used twice. The left symbol accompanies the phrase "likely," while the right is joined with "ask later." I don't find that particularly helpful, since both phrases to me could be associated with Miskoro's transformation magic, but given that Tad's is a magic of curtailing/lessening, I'd be more inclined to give him the latter (also, I think it looks like a power button, and it's fun to think about Tad's symbol literally being a kind of off switch).

Assuming I'm correct, and that these symbols do all correspond to the orrery (as opposed to us just not seeing some symbols because it didn't come up during gameplay), that would make our full, official Gowcentric Orrery look something like this (apologies for the quick, shitty sketch):

Does anyone know a confirmation one way or the other if this is right? If @quiddie or the Dimension 20 art team has released an official version? I've literally been thinking about this for the past two months, so if anyone else has an answer, or even just a theory, I'd really love to hear it!

[neverpathia]

fuck this shit again

have the voice of the opportunist, and this is really making me realise how much I suck with colouring in my drawings. the lineart looks like this

oh, there's a little teaser for para in the corner. oops.

though I think I've probably made oppy just as slimy and sleazy as he was meant to look. so that's a point in the drawing's favour, I guess. he probably looks like a dilf if you squint hard enough.

broken's done so now there's like nine more to go hoooo boy.

by the way the thing I'm doing where I cover their right eyes with their wings isn't just a cheap cop-out for me to avoid drawing said right eye. it's symbolism (oh totally). because they can only experience a very specific point of view. it limits their perspective. in the end, the voices can't always truly see the right thing, and the way they are restricts them into seeing only what's left behind. so their left eye remains uncovered.

now i don't have anywhere as much to say about the opportunistic bitch but I do have a bit. for one, I'm not part of his massive hatedom. he's such a charming little rat bastard and I'm here for it

he's so horrible (affectionate)

no but I really love how each and every one of the Voices is just like a defense/coping mechanism. individually, they were developed by TLQ to make sense of the situation and adapt to whatever bullshit he's being forced through at the moment, right? but in excess, or even when the situation takes the smallest unexpected turns, they can get pretty unhelpful pretty quick.

oppy in PatD perfectly encapsulates this. (wow, what a profound insight, captain obvious. who could've guessed. not like every third post about pristine cut says this already.) fine oppy in PatD was peak

okay but let's face it I just can't hate the guy he's such a flip-flop girlfailure.

well it's kind of interesting how, in a way, this dude also exhibits another potential reaction to fight or flight situations. there's freeze but we're not talking about that today. and then there's fawn. the opportunist wants power, but that's not just what there is to it. in the end, this desire for power stems from an underlying need for control. often, he's manifested by a taste of control for the first time. control spawned from betrayal spawned from fear. from apprehension. from the need for autonomy, met with a lack thereof (thanks narrator you son of a gun), but then regained in triumph.

the opportunist clings to each sorry sliver of power he can get. because once he's tasted it, he requires it so deeply it's become something he just has to have, like an addiction. and he may appear kind of pathetic, or risk everything else for each new taste of power. and he may stop himself from letting himself stray too far, may force himself away if he must. and affection, or kindness, or connection, or trust- they cannot exist, not for this control he craves so much. yes, he's selfish. but being anything else that's not selfish isn't even a choice at all in the face of this power, this control, this sheer craving of his.

but in the end all the opportunist wants is belonging. he wants a purpose and he wants meaning, especially to others. he wants to matter. and having control is surely a way to show that you matter, right? being at the top has to show that you mean something. that you're not pointless. that you exist and have a right to exist.

even if all the actions you take, vile and scheming and despicable, tell everyone else that you shouldn't.

then again, his perspective blinds him. as with all of the other voices.

now it shouldn't be too much of a hassle to figure out the symbolisms in his design but in case it wasn't obvious enough his tie brooch was supposed to be an ouroboros. I thought it was neat when I first designed him. I'm having second thoughts now. plus, I tried to steer his design in a different direction from most others, who tend to stick with "tumblr twink in a nice suit". um...well, I don't know if it worked.

and GOD why did I choose this specific shade of green. I mean, it's unnecessarily tacky? and bright? and way too obvious like him? hopefully it matches? oh well.

[spaciebabie]

any advice 4 when u want to keep drawing 2 improve but u cant get over perfectionism ? like when u just dont care how its gonna turn out, if its bad its bad yknow?

ahh yes lowkey ive struggled with this a lot. not as much now as in the past tho, and honestly its beecuz ive developed a more neutral view on myself/my art in general. its going to take time to get to this state of mind, so dont be too hard on yourself when you find yourself falling into bad habits.

advice under the cut (kind of long winded) ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the first thing ive done to overcome perfectionism is focus less on details and more about overall shape and form. when i sketch im trying to get roughly what i want, and i limit the strokes i do in certain parts of my sketch to like 1-3 depending on what im drawing (im ngl i also am very impatient and have created a workflow that makes it so i am able to start and finish pieces as fast as possible LOLOLOL. shrugs. i just like drawing fast).

a good example would be this thing i just drew:

in all of my sketches i tend to use as few strokes as possible and just get the basic idea down. good for not overly focusing on teeny tiny details and worrying about them later (i also use the same technique for lineart, but just end up connecting the lines. thats another tip i have, if you like your sketches more than your fully lined pieces, just line the same way you sketch! or you could also use your sketch as your lineart :P)

another tip i have is to draw from references, and once again, focus mostly on shape/form/the big picture of your subject before going into details (do you know how many planes there are on the human face....i still dont know howta draw faces properly but im not mad at myself anymore about it, i just open up a reference and try to learn). i also recommend having a drawing session where the goal is to draw awfully. draw something you want to draw, but that you're not sure if you'll draw it right, and draw it. dont try to correct it, acknowledge that what you made isnt perfect, and then draw something else. you're learning! of course its not gonna be perfect. but inevitably, you're going to get frustrated. just remember if its something you really want to go back to, you will be able to revisit it in the future. feel your anger and frustration, but do your best to not direct it inward.

small side tangent about shading- I AM SO SHIT AT SHADING SKFHSAFDJHS. people dont tend to notice (surprising), since ig my shading style is considered "beautiful" or something, but if you looked at it on a technical level, there are mistakes everywhere. i havent really tried to improve it. i dont really care most of the time b/c i just like shading for fun. and especially when im shading my sketches, i already have it in my mind that its not supposed to be perfect. its a sketch. this is where im supposed to make all of my mistakes. once i start making my way to the final product is when i start worrying more about if i did the lighting correctly (even then ik im not good at it im not trying to be a god im just trying to draw things that make me happy).

additionally, i really rec u dont try and fudge a sketch until its better if you're deep in a Perfectionist moment. keep the old sketch and start over on a new sketch taking bits and pieces you liked from the original, and improving on those that you dont (shitty thumbnails are also good if you have a vague idea in mind but need ta figure out howta place subjects in your scene). honestly drawing the same thing/idea over and over gets me a better understanding of my subject each time, so naturally each iteration looks better. it doesnt take me that long to sketch tho, so if sketching takes you forever (sometimes if sketching takes you forever its b/c you're a perfectionist skjfskdjf) just think about how much time you're willing to spend on something. remember☝️ its okay to give up/take a break on something and try again later. sometimes you just needta stop looking at your art and like. look at a tree or something lmfao.

i will also say that im not looking to go into a career in art, im more of a hobbyist. ik school environments dont exactly.....help with perfectionism lol. there are certain expectations put on people who go into the art field that are inescapable. if this is the case for you, i still think what ive discussed before can help you, but i also think that you may need to lean more on the mental tips i have also provided below.

alright! mental health tips in regard to art:

so, i have c-ptsd, and with that comes a lot of self image issues that ive had to work on. my feelings about myself extended to the way i felt about my art. it was shit, it was awful, i cant draw like this other person can so why bother, if its not perfect i shouldnt draw at all, etc. and honestly, something thats helped is affirmations. my affirmations are c-ptsd related, but ive noticed a shift in the way i view myself, and by extent, my art since ive started repeating them to myself daily. and honestly, i think a requirement of overcoming perfectionism is telling yourself that your art doesnt hafta be perfect, A LOT. LOL. LIKE YOU ACTUALLY HAFTA ACTIVELY TELL YOURSELF YOU'RE NOT AWFUL LMAOOOO. its funny, we dont think much about how we naturally are self critical about ourselves, and we dont realize that we are basically repeating negative affirmations about ourselves over and over and thats why we're not improving (mentally).

even when you're not drawing, i think it would benefit some people to have some kind of notification on their phone to remind them to tell themselves that their art doesnt hafta be perfect daily/however often you feel you might need it. and then with that affirmation, practice Shitty Drawing. one of the best tips ive ever gotten for this was from one of my friends monnie. get out your sketchbook or some printer paper, take out a shitty pen, and DRAW. and then any mistakes you make are permanent and you cant just endlessly try and fix them. it forces you ta sit with this uncomfortable feeling that something you made isnt perfect. eventually your brain will realize that when your art isnt perfect, you can still draw and you're ALLOWED to continue to draw even if what you make isnt spectacular. if you dont want to repeat an affirmation daily, try to remember to at least repeat it before you sit down to draw. something along the lines of "my art doesnt hafta be perfect in order for me to want to draw. im allowed to draw even if its not perfect" or something else. it depends on what you most struggle with in regards to your perfectionism. im ngl its probably going to feel cringe at first, but i promise you, it really works if you put it into practice longterm.

shoot for neutrality instead of positivity first. let me tell you thats where i am now and its so much less exhausting drawing lmfaooo. i make something that looks like shit and im just like. i dont fucking careee i dont give a fuccckkkkk

those are my tips :] i hope this was helpful!

[quibbs126]

hi hi! could I request a Pitaya Dragon x Dark Cacao fan child? an example of a name might be dragonfruit choco, which my friend came up with for this ship they came up with. their dynamic is two big guys with swords and anger issues that are besties but also maybe more??? :000

oh and snapcube sonic and shadow

I only realized now that there was a suggestion for the character. Sorry about that. Anyways, this here is Dark Sapote Cookie

Also one thing to note, I basically had Dark Sapote finished months ago. I think you can tell by the way their lineart doesn’t entirely match what I do now. Literally all that was left was the sketch, which I did today. There’s another fankid in that boat, so she might get posted today too (among others that I just have forgotten to post)

But also on top of that, it’s been a good while since I’ve thought about Dark Sapote, so I may miss some stuff

Anyways, on to Dark Sapote. They’re half dragon and live in the Dark Cacao Kingdom. They have a more dragon like form they can transform into, though it’s more of a drake than a dragon, and they don’t turn into it often. They’re technically an heir to the Dark Cacao Kingdom throne, but they don’t do much of anything, so they aren’t really considered such. They also choose to live outside of the Citadel in a cave somewhere

Dark Sapote is extremely chill and often very sleepy, to the point where they’re pretty lazy. However, this isn’t entirely due to their nature, but rather due to the temperature. Because the kingdom is so cold, their body’s essentially in a low power state, as they subconsciously are in a brumation state, but also aren’t reptilian enough to actually go into it, so they’re just stuck like this. And they specifically have this problem because Pitaya is from a tropical and more fiery climate, and Dark Sapote inherited biology for a warmer climate, not a colder one. No one is really aware that this is the reason Dark Sapote is like this, not even Dark Sapote themself

In higher temperatures, they become more active and energetic, and in addition they become more powerful. But because they live where their power is dampened pretty much all the time, they don’t have the best grasp on their full power. If they were to go to say, Dragon’s Valley, they’d likely unleash mayhem with their uncontrollable power. Not quite sure how they haven’t encountered this problem yet, but whatever

They grew up in the Dark Cacao Kingdom simply because they liked Dark Cacao more than Pitaya, but they kind of all unwittingly created this giant problem for Dark Sapote, leaving them in this state

Anyways, on to the design

So Dark Sapote is a name I’ve had on file for a long time, after I discovered the existence of black sapotes, which is what they’re based on. Black sapotes are a tropical fruit like pitaya, and apparently when ripe, they taste similar to chocolate pudding

Black sapote:

So to look for things to say on their design, I watched the time lapse video Procreate makes, and now I remember, Dark Sapote was hell to design. And if I’m being honest, I think the rough sketch is the best version of them

They were apparently originally going to have horns or a crown of sorts, but I decided against it or it just didn’t work. Side note, but I need to give my characters more accessories, especially in the hair. That’s how they end up looking so plain

Their hair is supposed to be the same between the sketch and the final design, but you can’t really see it with the pose. Apparently I tried other hairstyles that would make it visible but for some reason I decided against them

Their side hair thing is supposed to be from Pitaya, with their side bang things, but I don’t think I executed it super well

The colors on the armor were such a pain, mostly because Dark Sapote has so many dark colors, making them all blend in with each other and the black lineart (I only color it at the end once colors are finalized). That was what made me shelve them for so long, because I couldn’t get them to look right, until one day I came back and was like “yeah good enough” and colored the lines, and then left because I was out at the time

Also the colors themselves aren’t the most appealing. The green and brown come from the fruit itself, but they aren’t the nicest to look at

To be honest, I think Dark Sapote needs another shot at a design. The final product isn’t the worst, but it definitely could have turned out better. And also, I like their character

And yeah, that’s Dark Sapote. If you see a redesign of them later on, don’t be too surprised. But regardless, I hope you can enjoy them in some capacity

[melimpostor]

Hello! first off I just want to say that I love love love your art!!! its so amazing! 💖 So, I’ve been asking this question around online, so I hope you don’t mind! (Please feel free to ignore this ask if you don’t feel like answering!) Anyway, I’ve been drawing for a good while now. It’s always been something that interests me, but, in all the time that I’ve done it, I’ve never once found a style that is unique to me and that I’m good at. So, I was just wondering if you have any tips or advice on how to find your own style? I’ve tried so many though I can’t ever seem to like any of them or actually stick to it. One thing I really have trouble with is proportion. I want my style to be more chibi-esqe, but not completely if you knows what I mean lol. If you have any advice for a fellow artist I’d really like to hear it!! Please share your wisdom :D

Hello and thank you !! I don’t mind at all ! Let’s see…

For finding your art style:

► Define what you want to tell with your art. Not mandatory, but i think it helps. What do you want people to feel when they see your art? Do you want them to feel the emotions of the characters you draw? Or be impressed by the technique? the colors? All of the above?- I think your answer will lean you to something more specific in terms of style. For example, I tend to focus on characters expressions and feelings. So i have a relatively simple artstyle that allows me to focus on facial traits a bit more. (Also... i'm lazy- So i like to tell more with less)

► Observe drawings from artists you love ! Try to analyze what you like so much about it. Is it the lineart? the specific way they draw eyes or any specific part of the body? Is it the colors or the rendering style? And try to reproduce it yourself. Not in a plagiarism kind of way, but more as a study !

► Try, fail and retry again. Once you have analyzed the things you like, try to incorporate it into your own art. It might come off badly sometimes, but you also might create happy accidents ! Both outcomes are good learning. And while I don't think it’s possible to have a style 100% original, it doesn’t mean you can’t create an artstyle that you own and feels as uniquely yours !

► Be patient (trust the process and don’t be too hard on yourself). Defining your artstyle might take years to refine itself. Decades even… With practice and dedication it will come naturally to you !  But as with any discipline you have to be patient, there will be ups and downs and very frustrating moments but you never cease to learn.

For proportions:

► Don’t be shy about using references. There is no such thing as cheating in art (if used properly). It builds your visual library, so help yourself as much as you can ! Professionals use them all the time too.

► I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but…. We can’t really cut anatomy practice- I avoided it for so long myself and I regret it bitterly. So don’t be like me and practice your anatomy ! Even if you aim for a simple or semi-chibi style. The trap is it seems easy to draw , when in reality a lot of chibi artists already master anatomy to a certain degree. It’s much easier to simplify shapes when you know a little more about the structure behind them.

There are a lot of websites to help you, here’s a few ! http://reference.sketchdaily.net/ https://line-of-action.com/  https://www.posemaniacs.com/

My advice is to start slow. Most of those websites have a timer by default, but don’t set a time limit for now and take your time on each pose. Try to breakdown body parts into simple geometrical shapes. It helps grow your visual library and it’ll get easier to draw with better proportions ! 

___

Here you go ! I realize it's very generic sorry - TLDR: don't give up ! If you want anything more specific don't hesitate to ask again, I'll do my best ! Good luck on your art journey ! ♥

[iztea]

When i first started digital i would make a layer for everything basically for the face clipping make several layers to it and same for the hair/ background/ every piece of clothing...etc

I did take it down a notch recently and all but i just saw a video from samdoesart and noticed he LITERALLY JUST USES ONE LAYER FOR THE WHOLE PAINTING!!!??

sorry was wondering if you'd recommend a certain number of layers

the amount of layers you use is highly dependent on the style you're going for, the complexity of a piece, your personal drawing style and preference etc so i really don't believe there should be a certain amount of layers you should use. I myself fluctuate between using many layers or just painting everything on one so there really isn't a correct way or number to go for.

Howeverrrr, i think there is a certain threshold where layers become too excessive and turn into more of a burden than an aid, something that you probably noticed as well. If you find yourself becoming frustrated with the constant switching between layers for every single part you've singled out, then it's better to take notice of that and just tone down the number a bit. Samdoesarts, despite his guynextdoor vibes, is a professional and so of course he doesn't feel the need for many layers because he knows what he's doing and has a very clear workflow and style in mind. To some extent, i believe that using a minimal amount of layers does also stem from a place of confidence in your skills and/or process.

Me personally, I tone down the layer amount moreso out of laziness and because i don't like to have my flow interrupted by some "technical" errors as in "whoopsie i painted on the wrong layer again" so i just., really try to keep it as low as possible; sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't and i suffer

I add new layers every time i want to " try something new" or fix something whenever i'm still unsure of how it will turn out. New layers are for experimentation. I treat them like some sort of backup or checkpoint of some kind- that's their primary function for me. If the new thing i tried painting over doesn't work out i can just hide the layer i painted on and either try again or give up on that idea as i concluded it doesn't look good. A safety net, if u will.

One rule i do follow however no matter what is to always always have a separate layer for the hair- both color and lineart. that is the only thing i make a conscious decision to keep separate (because of previous struggles and failed attempts) For everything else, I just paint it on one layer with those aforementioned experimentation layers on top. Same for rendering. And i always merge them together once i think it looks good

I really don't like having too many layers cause it becomes annoying and messy. The only time I deliberately use a shiton of layers is for commissions, really.

i know i didn't really answer your question, but i really don't think i can recommend a certain number, so i just shared my experience with layers instead. Bottom line is, as long as you find them helpful, use as many layers as you want but don't overdo it

[bigiswarriorcatsdesigns]

Two previews or WIP (Work In Progress) for the next designs references.

Sunbeam reference. Will redraw it probably as the lineart and colouring is a bit sketchy for the references sheet, but I feel this is the design pattern I'm after.

Brightheart reference. This one is more advanced than the previous.

I spent a lot of time trying to find a design that fits her well because of how special it is for me the character and because of her complex design. I've made countless sketches in the last two years but I never felt it looked right. But I think I've finally found the design. I tried to research references for these kind of injuries aswell as recalling from a close real experience, but I truly appreciate any critique that can help me improve the portrayal of her scars.

Thank you all for supporting. Expect soon these designs to finally be done, once I regain more free time.

[hyenasheep]

Brainstorming random general Junkrat headcanons that i consider as an official canon at this point

I wrote this at 4 am cough

- mother issues, and not in the kinky way but like really bad espresso depresso mother issues. He's like a newborn duck who thinks that anything that comes near to him is his mother (also based of his voice lines i think he was an only child and probably lived only with his mom)

- he doesn't care about what he's wearing, dress, pants, skirts, like he's able to walk around in anything that isn't tight or scratchy

- he sees Roadhog as his father figure/older brother and they just kinda adopted each other without the paperwork (ALSO pls don't take this like I'm trying to shittalk on ppl who ship them, this is just my personal view on their relationship so pls don't yell at me or I'm gonna cry ;-;)

- you can't tell me that my boy doesn't have adhd and ptsd, like C'mon

- he's on aro/ace spectrum, he spend his entire life in wasteland so he's rather looking for family and friends than partner, at least not just a quick flirting etc.

- but I can also see him that something like a personal space doesn't exist for him (he's extremely hungry for any physical touch like someone hug him already holy hell) i feel like he doesn't really understand social interactions (kinnie moment) . Idk how to describe it but like imagine he would randomly walk to you and gave you flowers or smth, just trying to be friendly not realizing smn could interpret it differently

- but also he has no idea what flirting is, like u could hit on him for months and he would be for the entire time like :) 🧍‍♀️"love ya too mate" while patting your head

- he actually can draw pretty well, like the concepts he drew for his bombs etc? He has such a clean lineart holy shit

- hardcore/trash punk and kpop/classic 2000s pop, nothing else.

- literally the biggest fan boy (a little meow meow u can say), Lucio? listens to his music non-stop, Hammond? has his stuffed animals and signed peg leg, Junker Queen? gosh, if he doesn't have at least one lunch box with her, I'm throwing hands than

- the pokémon sodas edition, he would love them, cherishem them, worship them, like if he loves pachimari u can't tell me he wouldn't love strawberry yagult pink soda with Mew on the can

- he's losing his hearing so he uses hearing aids (that he made himself ofc), also him and roadhog know sign language and using it pretty oftenly, during missions, when Junkrat's having a panic attack etc.

- so like ppl say he's egoistic but i think there's a huge difference between his ego and Junker Queens ego, she's very confident and sure about her role/look/skill etc. While Junkrat is more self-ironic and tries to hide that he is actually pretty insecure about pretty much everything

- can speak fluently many languages which always throws everyone off , like he just randomly starts speaking Chinese fluently in a middle of meeting or something, and everyone arevlooking at him like 🧍‍♀️

- shitty phantom pains, he may know how to build his prosthetics from a literal garbage but has no idea when it comes to take care of himself so he just curles up into a ball and sobbs

- he and Roadhog give each other manicures at least once a month, that's the only thing he can actually take care of

- unhealthy addiction to coffee and sweets (someone should take away the coffee machine he has in the workshop) (his teeth are rotten at this point)

- his sleep is more broken than the queuing system (haha funny), usually sleeping like 3 hours per day, that's why the coffee addiction

- if u would show him any kind of love he would start stuttering while trying to come up with smth funny, blushing, sweating and sit on the ground and think about life for the next 30 mins cuz of how much he's not used to being praised

- also my man is a huge emotional wreck, he's getting new emotion every 5 seconds

- honestly i can't decide if the only thing he ever read was a recipe on frozen dumplings or if he's the biggest nerd u can imagine who's walking around with Franz Kafka or Sigmund Freud while sipping his boba tea

- he's missing an eye - I read the theory that he doesn't have an eye and that his fake eye is actually the real treasure with a code or smth, and omg, im obsessed, yes, my boy is like a cool mad max pirate, absolutely canon, at least it would connect him to some actual lore in the story, he's just wobbling around for last 6 years just give him something already;-;

- he likes comics, i just think he likes to inconspicuously steal a new issue of Batman whenever they're pulling a heist

- you know those French toasts that are basically just normal bread soaked in condensed milk? that's his ass

[maiji]

[image set: 1) Digital ink brush-and-watercolour-style illustration of the Buddhist monk Byakken from Nubatama wa Oujou Shinai in ceremonial robes. His lifted head, hooded eyes and slightly open-mouthed expression give the impression that he is in the midst of giving a talk. 2) Same illustration, but with only the lineart. 3) Byakken with a variety of facial expressions, looking serene, shocked, stressed out, annoyed, etc.]

説経の講師は顔よき。講師の顔をつとまもらへたるこそ、その説くことの尊さも覚ゆれ。 - Sei Shonagon, 枕草子 (Makura no Soushi / The Pillow Book)

“A priest who gives a sermon should be handsome. After all, you're most aware of the profundity of his teaching if you're gazing at his face as he speaks.” [translation by Meredith McKinney (2006)]

"A preacher ought to be good-looking. For, if we are properly to understand his worthy sentiments, we must keep our eyes on him while he speaks [...]” [translation by Ivan Morris (1967)]

More commentary below the cut!

I chuckled at this quote from The Pillow Book (and the entire story built around it) in Nubatama wa Oujou Shinai. (If you’re unfamiliar with The Pillow Book, it very much is like reading the blog of a thoughtful, witty court lady from the Heian era! Sei Shonagon can be quite tongue-in-cheek, even sarcastic, and in a lot of ways it’s amazing to see how little humanity has changed over a thousand years.) I also thoroughly enjoyed drawing Byakken-sama in ceremonial robes!

On the topic of faces, one of the many reasons I love Byakken is because of his extremely relatable facial expressions. Kuze Banko gives him a lot of these perfectly serene expressions, but also has no problems pulling him in extremely over the top directions too - usually from shock or stress, he seems to get into those kinds of situations very easily lol. I feel his emotions one hundred and ten percent! Because of the well-done range and writing, it really gives you the impression that even his serene expressions have something more behind them (like exasperation, resignation…).

For example, the (very minor early story spoilers!) context for “That was a BIG FAT LIE” (smiling outside, dying inside) is that Nubatama happily tells all the sobbing wailing people in her household that she decided to become a nun because she was so profoundly moved by Byakken-sama’s preaching and decided to leave the material world behind. Which as we know is a complete fabrication especially since Byakken spent most of his time with her arguing with her about why she shouldn’t become a nun. But everyone who hears the story is like hmm yeah!! That makes total sense!!!! And thus The Amazing Tale of How Princess Nubatama Was Inspired To Become A Nun gets around. The panel that cuts to Byakken standing in front of a bunch of people talking about this, with his beatific Mona Lisa smile that somehow manages to be really flat at the same time, captioned with a giant USO (“lie”) kanji, is pitch-perfect. The entire setup and background gives him this impression of “Ah, yes… that familiar feeling… of THE DESIRE TO COMMIT MURDER”. Every time I look at it, I laugh.

It was a good challenge attempting all the different faces while still trying maintain a sense of consistency about the character, especially thinking about how I would render him differently relative to all the other Buddhist monk characters I also draw. I tried to manage that through his eyes - his very expressive eyebrows, heavy lids, and the little lashes at the corners of his eyes and his lower lids, and some of the dips/head shape near his temples. It’s also interesting to click between the colour and the ink/line-only versions and see how the effect of an image can change subtly, yet noticeably once you bring in shading and colour.

[came0dust]

ena vaguely inspired by girl with a pearl earring

timelapse and insights under the cut

in general, when i draw, it tends to be relatively normal humanoids whose proportions might vary, but are still overall leaning just kind of toward standard humans. i usually aim to have at least semi-realistic anatomy and i mostly draw with curved lines, and sometimes use a lot of them to messily find my way through a shape. ena, for me, was kind of the opposite of a lot of things that are normal for me. her design is pretty geometric and much more inherently cartoonish, i think, and benefits a lot from lineart, which i do infrequently enough that i actually don't really have a specific workflow for it. i saw a post once that suggested blurring the sketch to make lineart easier to distinguish from it and avoid that feeling of "man, i can't match my sketch" and tried that here, since i didn't feel confident enough to paint her, and wanted to try some other things i've picked up over time, like using linear burn/light to shade and... actually yeah no that's about all i can think of. but either way, it's a departure from what i'm used to

anyways, i had actually been thinking about ena for a little bit, but when the dream bbq trailer dropped i literally swerved back into the series. i had to do something immediately. like as soon as i managed to scrape my brain back together i had so many ideas about it, but i wanted to do at least one yellow/blue ena before working on anything for the new ena (i've seen "season one/two" thrown around?). i actually did this a little under two weeks ago, but i'm only posting it now because i originally planned on posting it with a different piece. i didn't actually start it yet bc i wanted to warmup with painting things in a different way than i have before, but it quickly spun out of control so like. here we are

[bvannn]

Weekly update June 23, 2023

Getting back into the swing of work. Exhausted. I tried getting artstuff done this week.

Finished up storyboards for TRGA today* they aren’t lipsynched yet. I need to lipsynch two or three more shots I forget. Then I’ll try to doll up the puppets tomorrow, and I’d like to do a quick test for some effects as well. I’m also wanting to try actually getting and using Adobe after effects, but installing hasn’t been kind and I do have plans for effects that I can just do in animate so I’ll stick to those for now. I’ll try to make it quick, I did that one promo animation for TRG Colo this year in one day, so I can do a basic little movement in a couple hours, then screw with effects from there.

Artfight I’m a bit more worried about. I *think* I have Mikey’s refsheet done (there’s a bit of empty space but it’s probably fine because I can’t think of another aspect of his design that needs to be highlighted to fill it). I’m partway through Shaun’s refsheet, which shouldn’t be too hard since I don’t need to do all the float effects and transparency (although I’m still doing a bit since it allows me to show off more of his design). Anastasia’s thumbnail is done now and I’ll try to do her refsheet once Shaun’s is done. I’m definitely getting faster at lineart, which is good because that means I can keep my commissions cheap.

I’d love to poke music but I don’t think I’ll have time this week. I have a bunch of paperwork and stuff to mess with, plus I should fix up the puppets for TRGA. I’m a bit disorganized and a bit messy but I think I have leeway for next week being a bit slower since I was able to keep up with stuff this week. I’m still going to try stuff but I’m a bit disorganized at the moment. I’m sure I’ll be okay, though.

[poemarsviner]

Directed Study [Ice Cream Designs]

For our directed study today we were tasked with creating ice cream designs. This was to do something creative and also test our composition skills.

We were tasked with creating four designs, so I managed to finish them all.

So I chose orange, lilacy blue and pink. I blended it together with the smudge tool (it was very laggy so it took a bit) and then I drew a cute design over it. I added the black lines to indicate blush and added some cute eyes.

I then put it on top of the cone and coloured it in. I didn't draw the cone but I wanted to add extra detail later.

Then I added a darker edge to the lines for texturing and then coloured the lineart.

I also copy pasted the cone I did and added it to the 3 other cones to make it faster.

Here is the second ice cream I made, using various teals and blues. It was hard to see against the background but once I added lineart it was a good barrier.

Here's the two ice creams next to each other.

For the third ice cream I used pink, yellow and white. Kind of like strawberry mixed with vanilla. I think it's a little hard to see but the smudge tool was difficult to work with. Next time I'd definitely use darker colours.

For the last ice cream I used pinkish red, orange and yellow in fire colours. In my opinion it is the best mix as they work very well together.

Here is all my ice cream designs together. It was a fun little activity since it wasn't too hard and it got my creative juices flowing. I liked thinking of colour schemes and it's fun to think of the flavours of what these ice creams could be. I tried to give them all different expressions/personalities but I'm not sure if it came across that way.

I still found this fun and it was simple enough to pass the time.

[jenrecs]

ok i think this might be one of my favorite chapters so far

You each hold a coffee mug - yours blue, his white with lineart of a tree peeking between his fingers.

i always love the little details you put in and i especially loved this one, definitely cuz it's mug related

He wonders, as his laptop boots up, if he’ll ever manage to be around you and Taehyung at the same time and not feel like the outsider. 

no :((( this paired with that part in the last chapter where he thought tae was the person who was supposed to be with her on that day... i feel for him. how do you compete with someone who's had a decade head start - i know it's not in the same way but still

Namjoon tries to put aside his sinking feeling of disappointment. He gathers his things and starts to walk home. Once there, though, the apartment feels too empty, too quiet. He used to like that, used to seek out being home when he knew he’d be alone. Now, it makes him feel… kind of hollow.

on one hand i'm like, oh dimples you are Down Horrendous 😈 but on the other hand i'm like, oh dimples you are Down Horrendous 😔

The door opens, a blast of late autumn air accompanying Yoongi as he makes his way over and sits on Hobi’s other side.

them !!!!! after the previous chapter i was just about to ask where hobi and yoongi at cuz we haven't seen them in a minute !!!! but they're here and life is good again i have my favorite duo back <3

“Yes,” Yoongi confirms. “We all agreed that was very kdrama of you.”

omg i said that too, he's just like me fr jo i told you i need this yoongi badly 😭 jo send him my way my door is always open for mffmhh!yoongi

Yoongi leans forward, his elbow on the sticky bar. “I think you’re giving someone too much grace as they string you along - again. I kept my mouth shut the whole time with Elyse, and when she broke your heart I felt fucking responsible for not being a better friend and telling you what I could see from the outside. So I'm doing it this time - I'm not making the same mistake twice.” 

felt ! amazing for yoongi and hobi. i love them, i really really do. they're stupid and goofy but they show up for him and can be mature when necessary. ofc we as readers are privy to a little more info than them, but i think this is a very valid concern, and good for yoongi for speaking up and being so real about it. he's just looking out for his friend and i completely understand why he thinks he should say smth about this. from the outside, i guess it does kinda look like she's stringing him along. they know she's in lurv with tae, they know *stuff* has been going on with her and joon, it's perfectly reasonable that they'd want joon to avoid another elyse situation

Once you’re shielded from view by the shelves and the books they hold, he tugs more insistently, pulling you to him, catching your lips in a kiss. 

oh okay okay okay okay cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool namjoon i see u u saucy man

He kisses you like he wants to meld himself to you, leave a piece of himself, leave a reminder to everyone else that he’d been here first. You let him, you take his fury, you spin it into something softer, and you give it back to him, just a little changed. 

ok how dare you alter my brain chemistry like this i feel like i'm a different person after reading these 2 sentences. do u really want me to tattoo this onto my face is that it jo

“He told me he was proud of me for getting this far, alone. That he knew I’d make it anywhere I wanted to go, because he’d watched me fight my way that far. Lin… didn’t show up to graduation, and left me some chicken in the fridge to have for dinner. That story’s the best metaphor for all of it. No matter what step of my life you’re looking at, that’s the picture you get.”

this made me cry please i love him 😭 honestly at this point, despite knowing that taehyung does smth in the next chapter that made people scream, i still don't think i could be put off by him?? especially after reading this part and how he was always there for her and took care of her and loved her and was a good friend to her her whole life?? like yeah they're growing up and their worlds don't just revolve around each other anymore and yeah sure sometimes he's a bit insensitive but that doesn't erase everything he's done for her in the past. i am a proud member of the taehyung defense squad and i will not shut up about it !!!

You swivel and sit, perching on his (strong, thick) thigh, looping your arms around his neck. You half expect him to lose the bravado, to get shy or flustered, but his hands come up to grip your hips - dangerously close to your ass - immediately, tugging you more firmly onto his lap. 

ok cool cool cool cool cool COOL he's just full of surprises today isn't he mhmm okay mkayyy i'm totally fine they're just making out in his office everythingi s fine !

“Just so you know,” he mutters out of the side of his mouth, voice barely audible. “I have had a problem for the last hour and a half since your little visit. And that’s not me flirting with you, that is me filing a formal complaint.”

NAMJOON PLEASE 😭 and the audacity she had to make fun of him for it askdjdfkhas i cackled. i love them 😭

VIII. Nothing Grows Here || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

//

Namjoon starts to question where your heart lies.

Section Warnings: kissing, language, drinking, breast play/nip stim, public physical intimacy (they do not get caught)

WC: 5.5k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Thursday November 22nd

Namjoon catches you for breakfast on Thursday, too. He stands on the kitchen side of the breakfast bar, while you sit on one of the stools facing him. You each hold a coffee mug - yours blue, his white with lineart of a tree peeking between his fingers.

“I’m working on Journey for my thesis today,” you tell him suddenly. “Do you know that one?”

You must be talking about a St. Vincent Millay poem, Namjoon figures. 

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t know that one.”

You lean your body fully towards him, clearly excited. Namjoon feels a tickling sensation of fondness at how animated you get when you talk about this kind of thing. “It’s about freedom,” you explain. “Or, longing for it. It’s about walking a certain path but longing to step off, to go somewhere uncharted.”

Namjoon hesitates. He feels a little like you’re telling him something without telling him, in a way. “It sounds good,” he hedges finally. “What’s your favorite part?”

“The last two lines,” you answer immediately, reaching for your phone and opening a note you’d made. “A gateless garden, and an open path: / my feet to follow, and my heart to hold.”

“What’s the context?” Namjoon asks. “What’s your thesis?”

“Well, the first line’s clear,” you say, turning your phone screen back off. “A gateless garden - the gate being the symbol for what was holding her to the strict path, right? And now it’s gone? Leading her to the open path she mentions next. It’s like, the moment she breaks free.”

Namjoon nods, following easily. 

“It’s the last line I’m not sure about,” you admit. “My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. I feel like you could take it two ways? Is it spoken to the reader? Like, my feet are for you to follow, and my heart is for you to hold? Or is it my feet’s task to follow, and my heart’s task to hold tight? The second, right? Her feet are meant to follow the open path mentioned in the line before?”

“If you want my actual input on this,” Namjoon says with a sly smile, “you’ll have to come to my office.”

You grin at him, laughing. “I think I should get free TA services. It’s a roomie privilege.” 

Namjoon laughs too. “Nope,” he says, standing and picking up his emptied plate. “Office hours, or no help.”

You sigh dramatically, draping yourself over your plate. “You wound me,” you say mournfully, and Namjoon chuckles from the kitchen, where he loads his plate and fork into the dishwasher. 

“Maybe I just like you showing up during my work hours,” he says, looking at you sideways. “Maybe it makes work suck less.” 

That shuts you right up, a blush spreading across your cheeks.

–

You don’t visit Namjoon during his TA hours, and he tries hard to pretend that’s not the reason he’s in a weird mood by the time he locks up and walks home in the dark. 

His mood darkens even more when he unlocks the apartment door and finds you and Taehyung side by side on the floor of the living room, your laptops open on the coffee table, clearly working on homework together.

You look up when you hear the door open. “Hi!” you say brightly, oblivious. 

“Hey,” Namjoon says, hoping he sounds normal. He sets down his bag next to the breakfast bar and heads in the kitchen. He starts scavenging for anything quick and easy - leftovers would be ideal, if there are any. 

Out in the living room, he hears Taehyung’s low voice ask you, “Hey, do you remember that time at the beach?”

You let out a peal of laughter instead of answering.

Taehyung giggles, too, and then adds, “I still can’t believe that kid jumped on me. Who does that?”

You’re still laughing, the words coming out strangled. “And you’d been fast asleep,” you wheeze. “What a wake-up!”

Namjoon finally settles on something and heads back through the kitchen, hands full. He slips into his bedroom and closes the door gently with his foot, placing his food on his desk and preparing to start writing.

He wonders, as his laptop boots up, if he’ll ever manage to be around you and Taehyung at the same time and not feel like the outsider. 

Friday November 23rd

Namjoon’s Friday schedule is his best all week - he’s done by two in the afternoon, free as a bird to start his weekend. 

He hangs around the offices for a while anyway, killing time and trying to pretend it’s not because he knows you have an afternoon class that ends around three-thirty. 

When three-thirty rolls around, he can’t lie to himself anymore. He texts you.

[3:32 PM] Namjoon: want company walking home? im leaving my office

[3:32 PM] You: siiiiiiiiiiigh i WISH i was going home

[3:32 PM] You: i’ll be in the library until it closes, bye 🙃

Namjoon tries to put aside his sinking feeling of disappointment. He gathers his things and starts to walk home. Once there, though, the apartment feels too empty, too quiet. He used to like that, used to seek out being home when he knew he’d be alone. Now, it makes him feel… kind of hollow.

He takes a quick shower, mostly to kill twenty minutes, and then texts Yoongi and Hobi - “happy hour?”

It’s less than twenty minutes later that he’s on a barstool next to Hobi at their favorite dive, waiting for Yoongi to arrive. The place is dimly lit, practically empty as the office crowd has another hour or more of work and the college crowd won’t start filtering in for another six hours or so. 

The door opens, a blast of late autumn air accompanying Yoongi as he makes his way over and sits on Hobi’s other side.

Two beers later, each, Hobi knocks his elbow against Namjoon’s. “Anything new from the she-devil?”

Namjoon eyes him flatly. “I assume you mean Elyse?”

Hobi nods, biting back a proud smile at his own bad behavior. 

Namjoon sighs, fishing for his phone in his pocket. “I told you about her coming into the bookstore out of nowhere while I was hanging out with Y/N, right?” he checks, as he searches through his phone for what he’s looking for. 

“Yes,” Yoongi confirms. “We all agreed that was very kdrama of you.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Namjoon complains. “Anyway, so she called me like two days later. I let it go to voicemail. You never heard this, okay?”

The guys nod, and since they’re essentially alone, Namjoon puts the voicemail on speaker and lets it play.

“Hi, it’s me. Elyse. I know you’re probably wondering why I’m calling… you were pretty clear about how you feel. I just… I’m just having a hard time feeling… closure, I guess? I know, it’s silly, when I’m the one who ended things. I just… I don’t have anyone to talk through all this with me… you were my person to talk to.

“I know this is so unfair. I know it’s illogical. And I’m sorry, I hope you can believe that. Anyway. I’m not asking for anything. Just… if you ever want to talk… I wanted you to know you can call any time. I’ll talk to you.”

“So now she’s the saint and you’re the villain,” Hobi grumbles, leaning back in his chair. 

“Right,” Namjoon agrees. “She’s the poor baby having a hard time and I’m the asshole for not entertaining her every need, when she’s the one who asked me to move on.”

“You don’t owe her a fucking thing,” Yoongi says seriously. “I hope you aren’t planning on calling her back.”

Namjoon pauses. He has no intention of humoring Elyse’s little game, but mostly because his head is too full of you.

And somehow, Hobi reads his mind.

“Listen,” he says, uncharacteristically serious, “I’m not saying to call Elyse, because I think I am speaking for everyone on planet earth when I say that’s a terrible idea. But if your reason isn’t your own dignity and self-respect -”

Yoongi cuts in. “What he means is, if your reason is the roommate.”

“She has a name,” Namjoon snaps.

Hoseok carries on like nobody else was speaking, “-then you need to sit back and think about that. Because that’s been going on for, what, two months? And what do you have to show for it?”

Namjoon feels defensiveness flood through him, clear down to his toes. 

“It’s a two-way street, though,” he protests. “I haven’t pushed the issue with her, either.”

“And that’s all well and good…” Hobi allows. “But do you want to come second forever?” 

Namjoon scowls. “I don’t think you’re being very fair to her.” 

Yoongi leans forward, his elbow on the sticky bar. “I think you’re giving someone too much grace as they string you along - again. I kept my mouth shut the whole time with Elyse, and when she broke your heart I felt fucking responsible for not being a better friend and telling you what I could see from the outside. So I'm doing it this time - I'm not making the same mistake twice.” 

Namjoon shakes his head. “It’s not the same. She’s not Elyse. You can’t hang her for someone else’s crimes.”

“We’re just saying,” Hobi says, eyes finding Yoongi’s for confirmation as he speaks for both of them, “this feels a little familiar.”

When they leave, a few hours and a few beers later, Namjoon’s still got an ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach. They’re wrong, he knows they’re wrong, he knows you have feelings for him - they don’t have all of the information. 

Can he say for sure you’d choose him over Taehyung if it came to it? No, but he also doesn’t think it has to come to a choice like that. Surely you can all handle this like adults? 

When he texts you, asking if you’re still at the library, it’s with that ugly feeling stirring and churning inside him, the need to prove something building up into a flurry.

When you text him that you’d meant it when you said you’d be there until closing, Namjoon pays his bill and heads, on foot, for campus.

It’s not hard to find you in the library; there are four other people, total, each of you at your own tables, hunched over laptops. He pauses by your elbow, and you look up at him, surprised, your fingers somehow continuing to type as your brain catches up to the world outside your paper.

“Oh,” you say. “Hi! What are you doing here?”

“Come with me,” he says. He meant it as a question, a request, but he can hear how it comes out like a demand. Your eyes widen, your mouth opens a little in surprise. But you close your laptop and slowly rise to your feet. Namjoon takes your hand and gives it a gentle tug, pulling you towards the stacks.

Once you’re shielded from view by the shelves and the books they hold, he tugs more insistently, pulling you to him, catching your lips in a kiss. 

You stiffen in surprise, but melt out of it quickly, reaching up to cup his jaw as you kiss him back. He grunts happily when he feels you return it, reaching around you and pressing his large hand against the small of your back, forcing your bodies closer, pushing your hips against his. He keeps you there but doesn’t push it further, waits to see how you react, gives you the chance to indicate that you want him to cool it down.

You don’t. You release his jaw and fist your hands in his sweater, opening your mouth for him as he kisses you like he has a point to prove.

He does have a point to prove. He’s fully aware of why his feet led him right here, right now. 

He backs you against a shelf, careful to leave his hand between your spine and the metal, his other hand coming up to tangle in your hair. He kisses you like he wants to meld himself to you, leave a piece of himself, leave a reminder to everyone else that he’d been here first. You let him, you take his fury, you spin it into something softer, and you give it back to him, just a little changed. 

He doesn’t know how long he kisses you, your body pressed between his and the books, but when he finally abandons your mouth and straightens up to look at you, you’re panting, cheeks flushed, hair mussed, chest heaving. He takes a step back, putting space between your bodies again, unpinning you to the bookshelf. You seem like you’re not sure how to hold yourself up without it, without him. You take a tentative step, and your arm twitches like you might reach for him, might pull him back. But you don’t.

“What was that for?” you ask instead, breathless. “Not that I’m complaining. Just. What the heck.”

“You’re in this, right?” he asks you, which isn’t an answer at all. It comes out strange, strangled, desperate. “It’s not just me?”

“What?” you utter, looking positively alarmed. “Namjoon, what? Of course I am. What’s going on? Did something happen?” 

Namjoon feels himself calming by degrees, his control coming back to him little by little. He needed to hear you say it. 

“Nothing happened,” he says, which is kind of a lie. Yoongi and Hoseok happened. Elyse happened. In his own way, Taehyung happened. But none of that is your fault. “I just… had a moment where I wasn’t sure. What this is. If it’s… just me.”

You shake your head, eyes wide. “Did I do something to make you feel like that? I’m really sorry if I did. Is it - is it because of -?”

Is it because of Taehyung.

A little, Namjoon thinks. But not entirely.

“Look,” he says, reaching out a hand and touching your arm gently. “I’m not asking you to… choose between us or anything stupid like that. I just need to know if this is… going somewhere. If you want it to, or if you’re just… enjoying it. No judgment either way - I’ve just hit a point where I think I need to know.”

You continue to stare at him, eyes still wide, looking probably as blindsided as you feel.

“Namjoon,” you whisper finally. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

The air all leaves his body. “Okay,” he says, exhaling. He gives himself a mental shake. He can lick his wounds later, alone. “Okay. Thanks for tell-.”

“I’m not just enjoying this,” you continue, putting a little sneer on the words. “I’m - I’m in this. I’ve told you - I like you, and I want to be with you. It’s just - my paper’s due in an hour and a half, and my brain is pudding, and you just kissed me absolutely stupid and…” You trail off, look at him a little desperately, like you’re trying to juggle just one too many things. “I don’t know what exactly I want, within what parameters - I was… I was kind of okay with just seeing where it went and not trying to put a name or rules to it just yet? If you need more than that, we can have that conversation, but… maybe not right this second?”

“No need,” Namjoon tells you, meaning it. He reaches out without thinking first, smoothing down where he’d messed up your hair. “I’ve been fine with that, too. I just needed to know that… it isn’t nothing. That we’re going… a direction. That’s all.”

You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously. “Something happened,” you say, sounding sure of it. “You don’t spook this easily. Was it her?” 

Namjoon shakes his head, takes your hand, starts to lead you back to your table. “Nothing happened,” he lies again. “What’s your paper on? Do you want help?”

Sunday November 25th

I unlock my ribs and pry them open. I want to view the things I make. The garden has that fresh-earth smell, each seedling marked by a little stake.

But I grow only skeletons - no petals - brittle blooms, instead. Buds of bone will reach the light. Nothing grows here that isn’t dead.

An offering made - a little seed. This one, they say, will live. There’s quite a price for this living thing,  a price I’m not sure that I can give.

You stare at the page, chewing absently on the end of your pen - a bad habit you’ve never been able to break. 

You kind of like this one. Especially the eighth line - nothing grows here that isn’t dead. You roll the words around your head again, feeling the weight of them. 

You do like it, you decide. You’ll turn this one in; you hadn’t turned in the shitty wolves one - you’d drawn an ‘x’ near the top of the page and left it to die.

Namjoon passes behind you at the breakfast bar, touching your back lightly as he does. It’s his little way of announcing his presence without scaring the shit out of you; you’re not sure when he started it - not long ago, for sure - but it’s sweet.

“Morning,” you tell him, closing the notebook. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” he says, coming back around to your side of the breakfast bar now that he has a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. “You?” He crosses the living room and drops heavily on the couch, turning to look out the large windows. Outside, it’s overcast - so dark that you really ought to turn a lamp on, but no rain falls. 

“Pretty good,” you say. “Can I come hang out over there with you?”

He says the same thing back to you that you’ve said to him before - “You don’t have to ask.”

You perch by him on the couch, coffee cup warm in your hands. You curl your feet up next to you and tug a throw-blanket over them. 

The two of you sit in comfortable silence, both watching the window absently.

When Namjoon speaks, it surprises the hell out of you.

“Y/N…” he says slowly, turning to look at you. “Tell me about you and Taehyung? Like - about your friendship?”

You’re shocked into literal silence, mouth open, brain absolutely devoid of words. What do you even say to that?

He reaches out a hand, places it gently on top of your thigh. “It’s not a trick,” he says gently. “I just… want to get to know more of you, and your friendship seems like… a really big piece. You’ve told me before that he’s family…” He trails off, looks down at his coffee, then back at you. His face is open, genuine, kind. “I want to know more about that. If you’re comfortable telling me.”

You lick your lips, eyes on the ground. You should let him see this part of you; you owe him this honesty. But how to make him understand? Which moments of your life best paint a picture of what it was like having only Taehyung in your corner?

“When I think of Taehyung,” you say softly, when you’ve thought of a starting point, “I always think of fall. We met on the first day of school, two years before I lost my family. He was the only kid who would talk to me at lunchtime, because I was new.” You laugh under your breath, remembering. He’d been all ears, but you’d been so glad someone was sitting by you that you wanted to never let him out of your sight again.

You claimed him as yours immediately. 

“When I lost my parents,” you continue, “I lived with my Grandma for a long time. She was really strict; she was being protective. She didn’t like a lot of the other kids in my class, she wouldn’t let them come over to play. But she had a soft spot for Taehyung. He could just charm the shit out of her, even when we were seven years old. I still don’t know how he did it. But when I look back on my life, he was the only one there. Every holiday, every birthday, every stupid childish adventure, every mishap, every failed test or scraped knee - it was Taehyung who was with me.”

You don’t look at Namjoon while you talk; it’s easier not to have to see him as you recount your early years. But you can see out of the corner of your eyes that he’s watching, listening, hearing you out.

“When my Grandma got too sick to take care of me - she started losing her memory, it got unsafe for both of us really rapidly - Taehyung helped me pack up her stuff that was going to the facility with her.” Remembering this makes your throat tight, and you drink some coffee to cover it. “I think the only reason she went in willingly was because he held her hand through the lobby and down the hall. It wasn’t me she was clinging to, it was him.”

You pause, bracing yourself for the next part a little. “Aunt Lin raised me after that, but… her heart wasn’t really in it, and she worked nights and slept days. Most of my teenage years, I spent on my own - unless Taehyung was with me. He shared food with me when Lin forgot to give me lunch money, gave me Christmas presents when she worked the holiday… made me laugh with his dumb-ass jokes when I felt like no one in my life ever remembered I was there.

“When we graduated high school, Taehyung bought me flowers and…” You swallow, fighting hard against choking up. “He told me he was proud of me for getting this far, alone. That he knew I’d make it anywhere I wanted to go, because he’d watched me fight my way that far. Lin… didn’t show up to graduation, and left me some chicken in the fridge to have for dinner. That story’s the best metaphor for all of it. No matter what step of my life you’re looking at, that’s the picture you get.”

Namjoon waits to make sure you’re finished, not just thinking of what to say next. “Can I ask something kind of challenging?” he says quietly, and your heart stutters, afraid of what it might be.

“Of course,” you tell him, because if he can sit and listen to you talk about another guy like this and not walk the fuck away from you, you owe him the answer to anything.

“All those stories…. all those moments…” he says thoughtfully, and you recognize his tone from when he was trying to let Elyse down easy, “they’re all from when you were growing up. What about now? What about these last three years, here at university?”

He was right. It is a challenging question. Putting words to it is hard enough, but add in that your audience is the guy you’re developing strong feelings for… it feels like a puzzle. Or a test. 

“It’s been… hard,” you admit slowly. “Being his friend… it’s different, here.”

Because of other girls. 

Because of your own stupid heart.

Because you’ve left home, and your circle of support isn’t just him anymore.

Because your worlds have gotten bigger, your edges expanding, and you can’t revolve around each other as tightly anymore. 

Namjoon doesn’t even have to ask the question he’s driving at. You get there all on your own.

Are you and Taehyung even really that close, now? Or is it all nostalgia and familiarity, loyalty and habit?

He seems to see it on your face that he doesn’t need to push it. He brushes his thumb along the side of your leg, where his hand still rests from earlier.

“Thanks for telling me all that,” he says, voice hushed. 

“Thanks for listening to it,” you counter. “You want a turn? I can listen for a while.”

He laughs a little, leaning back against the couch. “Nah, I’m good,” he teases. Then, he lifts his arm to make a spot for you. You slide over, leaning against him, letting him wrap an arm around your shoulders.

You sit in silence together a while longer. You’re not sure what he’s thinking about, but you’re thinking about your friendship with Taehyung - its benefits, its failings, its definition. 

Monday November 26th 

Even though you spend most of Sunday together, working separately on your homework in the living room, even though you walked to campus together as the sun burned away an early-morning fog, you still think about Namjoon the entire time you’re in class on Monday. You can’t help it. When class ends, you catch yourself practically running to go bother him in his little office.

Girl, you think, scathingly, get a grip. 

But it’s happening and it’s exciting and you just like him and you can’t stop thinking about how he kissed you in the library last week and -

You knock on his office door, and he has the audacity to smirk without even looking up to check that it’s you.

“Come in,” he says, pen scratching away at whatever he’s working on. There’s something dangerous and playful in his voice, and you shiver. Then, feeling bold, you close the door behind you when you enter the room.

That makes him look up, the smirk still on his lips. 

“Hi there,” he says, still in that same voice. 

It’s cocky, a little smug - a side of him you haven’t really seen before. 

“Happy to see me?” you tease, dropping your bag on the ground with a thunk and stalking closer, feeling a little predatory. 

He hums agreeably and stretches, the movement pulling his shit taut across his chest. 

There’s part of you that thinks he’s fucking with you on purpose. You decide, on a whim, to push back - to play the game, too, and see where it gets you. 

You approach him purposefully and he spreads his legs to let you stand between them, leaning back and peering up at you, a dare on his face. You feel alight with thrill, your own smirk playing on your lips. 

You swivel and sit, perching on his (strong, thick) thigh, looping your arms around his neck. You half expect him to lose the bravado, to get shy or flustered, but his hands come up to grip your hips - dangerously close to your ass - immediately, tugging you more firmly onto his lap. 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he murmurs, one eyebrow raised. 

“Just wanted to see you,” you tell him honestly, and lean in to kiss him.

It’s light and sweet, at first - less desperate and hungry than your previous kisses have been. His lips feel feather-soft for a few seconds, brushing gently against yours, and your heart stutters, trips. He brings one hand up to the middle of your back to help you balance, and you pull yourself tighter against him as he opens for you. 

It’s tongue and teeth as you pull yourself against him, your chest flush with his. As you kiss him, the sweet, gentleness melts away and you find yourself humming low in your throat as he grabs your ass again with the hand that isn’t holding your back, fingers kneading into the jean-clad flesh there. 

He makes a noise of his own at yours, like an answer, pulling you tighter against his lap by the meat of your ass. You can feel him, hard beneath you, and you shift purposefully against it once just to hear him groan so quietly you might miss it, his mouth only centimeters from yours. 

Then he’s kissing you again, more forcefully, his hand creeping up from the swell of your ass to dip under the hem of your shirt. His fingers feel warm and sure against the bare skin of your waist, and then they’re sneaking higher, his thumb sliding firmly along the side of your breast, over your bra. You sigh into his mouth, and it ends on a bit of a whine as you wordlessly ask for more.

He obliges, shifting slightly to cup your whole breast in one large hand, squeezing once before running his thumb over your hardened nipple. You whine again, pressing your leg against his hard length, trying to egg him on. He squeezes again, then slides his fingers beneath the underwire, rolling the bud he finds there between his fingers.

You moan quietly into his mouth, breaking the kiss to gasp as he does it again, a fraction harder. He swipes his thumb over it again and you press open-mouthed kisses to the side of his neck as he buries his face in your hair, eyes closed. 

Footsteps approach and pass outside the door, and you both freeze, his hand still wrapped around you. You look at each other, wide-eyed, afraid to move.

“Does… that door lock?” you manage to whisper. He shakes his head no, almost imperceptibly, and slowly withdraws his hand from up your shirt. 

“We should probably cool it anyway,” he whispers back. “Even if someone knocked first, having the door shut with you in here… is probably enough to get my office rights revoked.”

You nod, vacating his lap and fixing your bra, which he’d left askew. He does some adjusting as well, you notice, before reaching over and pulling the door open a few inches.

“I’m working the store tonight,” you tell him, trying to get your head back to reality, focusing on your schedule to help get it there. “So I won’t be home for dinner.”

“Should I bring you something?” he asks. “I’m here until five. I could come by, after.”

“That’s your choice,” you tell him. “Kris is working with me tonight, so if you show up with food for me it’ll be officially a thing. Like, there’s no going back from that. So if any part of you is trying to keep this low-key, that’ll be over.”

“Hm,” Namjoon says, mouth making a straight line.

“To be fair,” you say, as an after-thought, “Kris has been being obnoxious about you and me since you moved in, way before anything happened. So. It can’t really make things worse.”

“Okay,” Namjoon says, giving you a sweet smile. “I’ll see you later, then.”

You glance at the time - you’ve got twenty minutes to get across campus. Which is plenty, but you need to go. 

“Alright,” you say reluctantly. “I guess I’m off. See you in a little bit.”

At the store, it takes Kris about fourteen seconds to look you up and down and say flatly, “You’ve been kissing.”

“What?” you gasp, hands leaping to your body - checking your hair, your shirt, your mouth. “How do you know?”

They shake their head in mock disapproval. “I just know these things. Honestly, Y/N, you live with him, can’t you do these things at home?”

You swat at their arm petulantly. “Quit acting like you aren’t super jealous.”

“Oh, I am,” they inform you. They lean against the counter, placing their chin in their palm, a dreamy expression crossing their face. “Believe me. So what’s it like with him? Tell me everything.”

–

Namjoon shows up sometime before six, a bag of food in hand. He looks a little nervous, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of your warning about Kris, or because last time he did this he got accosted by his ex. Maybe both.

“Hi there, Dimples,” Kris greets him with a big smile. “Come stay a while.”

“Have you ever formally met Kris?” you ask, coming between them. “Kris, Namjoon, - Namjoon, Kris.”

“Nice to meet you,” he replies. “Unfortunately, I have to go home and finish a paper.”

You set the bag of food on the counter and walk with him back towards the doors leading out. 

“Just so you know,” he mutters out of the side of his mouth, voice barely audible. “I have had a problem for the last hour and a half since your little visit. And that’s not me flirting with you, that is me filing a formal complaint.”

It surprises a laugh out of you, and he grins at you sideways too. 

“Sorry,” you say, barely meaning it. “That’s sounds… hard.”

“Oh, my god,” he utters, as you lose it, laughing so hard you have to grab his arm for support as you double over. “Seriously? Kris, do something with her. Who let her out of the house today?”

“I do believe that was you,” Kris says dryly from their perch by the registers. 

You wheeze through the laughter, trying to suck in a long breath. “Sorry, sorry,” you giggle. “I couldn’t help myself. 

He shakes his head at you, moving for the door. “I’ll see you at home,” he tells you, and then he leaves.

“At home,” Kris sighs, like it was so romantic.

You shoot them an eye-roll as full of ire as you can manage. 

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Finally some backstory, and finally some spice!!!! What are we thinking??!!!

As always thank you so so so so much reading, I appreciate you all sooo much! Happy friday!!!

[tallaroo]

I challenged myself to try and mimic the style and designs of seven different artists. And what better subject to draw than technoblade who has some of the most varied designs.

Each artist's style proved to have its own challenges and I've learned a lot of new techniques while I studied them, some which I might even start incorporating into my own art moving forward.

This was very fun to do, thank you to the artists who volunteered (and to those who got selected out of the blue). Please go check out everyone here, they are all extremely skilled and cool people.

Artists featured:

@casboar

@altadoodler

@nachosforfree

@sapphic-omen

@insyndiar

@angst-and-fajitas

@syntiment

↓  Close ups of each and added commentary below the cut ↓

Casboar was the first one I tackled and I may or may not have had a mild breakdown having to remember how to digitally paint people. But being able to keep in some of my construction lines helped in figuring stuff out. Their Techno design is very fun to draw, big fan of the dad bod.

Alta's style intimated me a lot going in due to the more stylized 'cartoonish' feel and the fact that I had to use a brush I'm not as familiar with. But after I finished the sketch I knocked out the lineart in a few minutes and it was easy sailing from there. His stye was actually really fun to draw in once I got comfortable, good shapes there.

Going into this I was the most anxious to draw in this style, I was extremely worried I'd butcher the lineart. But similar to Alta, after I doodled for a bit I was able to get into a good flow and knock this one out pretty quickly. I also had to improvise on the brush since I don't actually have any pixely brushes.

This was the first style to be really challenging. I couldn't find a brush that fit right and all of my sketches were too similar to how I normally draw. So I ended up sitting on their blog and staring at their art for a few hours until I finally pushed myself to start. I probably stayed a little too close to the original sketch since there's definitely some messy parts.

This is the one I procrastinated on. Syn's way of shading/lighting is so cool looking but also terrifying when I remembered I had to do it. I had to alter the sketch several times and marked out where the highlights and shades were going to go. I definitely could have pushed the colors more for better contrast but I got to the point where I was too scared to keep working on it in fear of messing something up.

Realism has never been my strong suit and this is the one I'm the least happy with. Emma's art style kind of reminds me of d&d art and I tried to channel that when drawing but the sketch was too close to how I normally draw and the lineart got messy as a result of that. I should have pushed the value in the shading too but same with Syn's it just got to a point where I was too scared to keep messing with it.

I decided to go monochrome for Syntiment. It looked better that the colored version I did and also I think it just makes stand out more there were also a lot more references to work with. Unfortunately long hair is my enemy, I struggle a lot in drawing it and I had like three layers of sketches just for the hair. I also drew this and Emma's back to back so if they look similar no they don't