#i think i read most of 1984 but i never finished it because i got bored

[pluckyredhead]

I am still reading my way through the Fourth World! Last time I talked about all the stuff published in the 70s; now let's talk about the 80s.

Kirby:

New Gods #12: In 1984, DC reprinted Kirby's original New Gods run and threw in an extra issue (not to be confused with Gerry Conway's New Gods #12) so that Kirby could finish the story. This was partially DC being nice and trying to give an aging Kirby money, and partially not because they refused to let him produce the ending he wanted, which was Orion and Darkseid both dying. After a couple scrapped versions, we got this, in which Orion goes down in a hail of laser fire. It's a real bummer, but at least he's extremely homoerotic with his best buddy Lightray first? (Oh, they're getting a whole separate post, just you wait.)

The Hunger Dogs: This "graphic novel" (it's only 64 pages but back then that counted) came out a year later and was the "conclusion" to the Fourth World saga. Once again DC and Kirby butted heads because Kirby really wanted to kill everyone and DC was like "But our IP!!!" In the final version, only supporting characters Himon and Esak die, which is sad but not going to do any damage to DC's bottom line.

It turns out Orion is not dead despite being riddled with holes (there's an intriguing suggestion that he has some kind of healing ability because he possesses the Life Equation, which like everything else in this book is presented with zero context or explanation), which is great because it gives him an opportunity to be homoerotic with Lightray again, although he has also been given an Obligatory Heterosexual Love Interest, Himon's daughter Bekka.

Anyway this book is baffling. Highfather blows up New Genesis (everyone survives) to taunt Darkseid, who is overthrown by the downtrodden masses of Apokalips. There's some shouting about the dangers of technology and maybe some anti-Cold War rhetoric about stockpiling weapons, but it's all so hysterically overblown - Kirby at his most grandiose - that it's nearly impossible to parse beyond "war bad." I do appreciate that Orion is able to break free of his rage and death wish and just...leave Darkseid behind, but the fact that he's emotionally mature enough to do that now comes pretty much out of nowhere. The art is extremely powerful, at least.

My final thought is that Kirby clearly gleefully ignored everything Englehart, Conway, et al. did and I love that for him.

Super Powers: Darkseid fights the Justice League. This was a comic created to sell a toy line and you can really, really tell.

Post-Kirby:

Legends: I've read this before, but it's great. If you like pre-Flashpoint DC, you should definitely read this, which introduces Amanda Waller and the Suicide Squad, sets up the JLI, and brings Wonder Woman into the post-Crisis DCU. Neither Orion nor Scott are present but this (along with the Happyland issue of the original Forever People) really makes the case for why Glorious Godfrey is one of Kirby's best and scariest Fourth World creations. And I will never complain about John Byrne art.

Forever People (1988): Blecch. It's definitely arrogant to read something and think "I know for certain that Jack Kirby, a man I never met who died when I was a child, would have hated this" but like. I'm right. And it's obvious from the very first page.

Basically, at the end of Kirby's series, the FP were marooned on a random, idyllic planet somewhere with no hope of getting home, so they embraced it as their new, hopeful future. This catches up with them years later, with Serifan (the sweet young kid) drooling and raving alone in the woods, Vykin (the only Black character) dead (he gets better), and the rest of them...living in yuppie paradise? Apparently the planet they ended up on was populated (missing the point) with "primitive" people (racist) so they decided to use Mother Box to forcibly "evolve" the people (SO RACIST) and were able to create...modern-day America? Literally why would they even do that, they're from New Genesis. Mark is mayor and married with kids, and Big Bear and Beautiful Dreamer are married to each other with a baby on the way.

Anyway a nebulous villain/evil force called "the Dark" undoes everything which brings Vykin back to life but takes away Mark's wife and kids (she's alive but still "primitive" and the kids were never born) and Bear and Dreamer's unborn child, which means the only female protagonist spends the whole rest of the miniseries clutching her stomach and going "my baby!" I absolutely don't mean to make light of pregnancy loss but this doesn't feel like a story about a three-dimensional woman experiencing pregnancy loss. It feels like a story that reduces a woman to a) whether or not she's having a baby, which is the only thing she cares about and b) the central point on a vague love triangle with Mark and Bear. SIGH.

Meanwhile they all go to Earth for...some reason...and then Mark gets possessed by the Dark and is evil for a while but then they manage to summon Infinity Man and Mark isn't evil anymore. And it's bafflingly revealed that they're all from Earth in the first place from random different historical time periods and Highfather kidnapped them as babies. Okay???

The Forever People are perhaps Kirby's purest and most optimistic characters, and this cynical take on them actively angered me even though I don't actually care about them at all. I've also basically never cared for J. M. DeMatteis's writing outside of JLI, and I don't like Paris Cullins's art, so this book just had absolutely nothing going for it for me.

Cosmic Odyssey: I do not trust Jim Starlin with the New Gods since I know he's going to kill them all off in 2007. This is...fine, I guess? Starlin really does not like Orion, who he has slaughter a bunch of innocent, brainwashed Thanagarians, and also be deeply bigoted against Forager. Everything else is...fine? It's basically all action. The only character who has an emotional arc is John Stewart because this is the story where he fails to save Xanshi because he's being an overconfident moron, but the moral at the end of the comic is like "Get over it already" so...that happens. It's fine.

But man, that Mike Mignola artwork is worth the price of admission alone. That guy's great at drawing.

Mister Miracle Special: The plot of this is that Barda doesn't want Scott to be an escape artist anymore because it's too dangerous, even though a) she's a warrior of Apokalips and b) he's an active Justice League member and she seems fine with that. So okay.

Mister Miracle (1989): Okay, so the basic premise here - Scott and Barda try to adjust to normal life in the suburbs - is good. And it's a spiritual spinoff of JLI, which is of course one of my favorite books of all time. But this book is like...imagine someone screaming "Iiiiiiit's WACKY!" over your shoulder constantly while you're reading. That's what reading Mister Miracle (1989) is like. Highfather wears a tuxedo! Funky Flashman shows up a lot! Scott fights a giant alien noodle! Some of it is actually funny, but most of it is trying so hard to be funny that it's just exhausting.

There are some interesting character moments in there. Scott, Barda, and Orion all get to call Highfather out. Orion mentions wishing he was closer to Scott. There are hints at Scott's depression and suicidal tendencies, which I find really fascinating. But all of it is always immediately overshadowed by ZANINESS.

Anyway, I think we as DC fans deserve a do-over with a new Scott and Barda book about their lovingly domestic (kinky) life together on Earth that is funny but not desperately mugging for laughs in every panel. And I think it should be set in Vegas where Scott has a residency. Call me, DC!

New Gods (1989): This book was mostly written by Mark Evanier (a couple issues were by Starlin), who was one of Kirby's assistants back when he was originally creating the Fourth World, so you might think it would feel the closest to a continuation of Kirby's vision. Instead, I am making it Exhibit A in my argument for why a character should never be assigned to a writer who obviously fucking hates their guts.

I mean, I don't know that Evanier hates Orion. But boy does he write him like he does. Starlin's Orion (who again, we get a couple issues of here) is a monster, but Evanier's Orion is just an incompetent idiot, forever slamming himself against the brick wall of his inevitably becoming his father. Almost every single issue has at least one character, often multiple characters, bemoaning Orion's absolutely unproductive violence and inability to learn or comprehend basic concepts that should not be at all new to him after living most of his life on New Genesis (i.e. justice, mercy, compassion). Even fucking Kalibak is like "Wow, you're a useless idiot." Kalibak! The king of useless idiots!

The comic is so into hating on Orion that it hates on him when he's not actually doing anything bad; at one point he walks into a nuclear reaction that's melting down in a desperate attempt to stop it before it kills everyone, and Big Bear is like "Wow, he's just like his father." REALLY, BIG BEAR? Show me the comic where Darkseid risks his life to save thousands of strangers. I'll wait.

This series also features:

a hawkish, bloodthirsty New Genesis military leader who keeps trying to overthrow Highfather, which both seems to undercut the whole point of New Genesis as well as Orion's uniqueness as The Angry Guy;

an Earth woman with the worst gaydar in the universe repeatedly failing to fuck an increasingly uncomfortable Lightray;

but then Lightray falls in love with a dead woman he never met?;

also Orion gets a crush on a bug lady and learns to stop being racist against bugs (she's not impressed and good for her)

and Lightray and Orion parade around Earth in the WORST fashions of the late 80s/early 90s, which is about all this book has going for it.

Anyway it was bad and I'm glad I'm done with it. Next up: the 90s!

[eventinelysplayground]

This is my first of idk how many entries for @lorei-writes and @wordycheeseblob Wish Upon an Aide challenge. I don't normally finish and post a fic in a few hours but I was super inspired for some reason by this. This fic is set at the end of Theo's route chapter 6 the start of Chapter 7, no major spoilers if you haven't read it yet. Most of Theo and Mitsukis dialogue is pulled from the chapters except for at the end and it's written from Kings pov. I chose the yellow prompts Joy and Warmth, they are a bit subtle maybe but overall I think they come across okay. I use italics for when the pets are 'speaking' WC approx 1984.

Nice to Meet You King

Just a bit more…and got it!

There was a metallic clank and soon the door was being pushed open.

Where are you going?

That should be obvious, just look outside.

Cherie stood up on her back paws and strained to look out the window.

Vic be nice, I'm going to greet Theo of course!

Oh, have fun King.

Cherie pouted a bit and King slipped his paw through the bars of her kennel to pat the cub on the head.

I'll be back soon and I'll tell you all about it.

Do you want me to tell you a story until he gets back?

Yay!

King strode out of the kennel shaking his head leaving his friends behind. Vic would never admit it but King knew he was fond of Cherie, even if she was a cat.

Now he should be home soon. I just have to make my way to the gate and hmmm that scent…

King stuck his nose out and sniffed the air around him as a faint scent tickled his nose.

Theo has that scent on him lately…it must be her!

King started bounding across the yard at an incredible speed all while continuing to sniff at the air. The scent grew stronger and he came to a sudden stop near some bushes. Slowly he crept forward while taking a deep breath as if to steady himself.

She should be just on the other side, I wonder what she's like? If Theo likes her she must be nice.

King shook his head and peered around the bushes. His eyes widened as he examined the lady standing there. He had been wondering what she looked like, she was a bit smaller than he thought she'd be but she seemed strong and she had a gentle face.

She seems nice, I bet she'd give me lots of treats and belly rubs. I like her!

Just then King heard the distinct sound of the gate opening. He looked up tail wagging but as soon as he saw the look on Theo's face his tail stopped and head drooped.

He looks that sad-mad again, I wonder why he's always so-ah oh no!

King noticed that the lady was moving and he darted further back. He was confused, she had clearly seen Theo and yet she was hiding from him.

Why is she hiding? Does she not want to see Theo because he's sad-mad? Hmmm, oh I know how to fix this!

King bounded out from his hiding spot and leapt at the lady's back.

“Eek!!!”

The lady turned around and King got a good look at her eyes.

“Bark bark!”

Oh boy she smells even better up close, and her voice and eyes are really gentle. Sorry I scared you, I didn't mean to. I'm sure you can help me make Theo feel better though!

King knocked the lady over and began licking at her face.

“H-Hey that tickles! Shh…”

Nope, he'll notice any second now I know he will.

“King! Did you get out of the kennels again so you could come welcome me home?...Hm? Oh, Hondje. I didn't see you down there.”

See, I knew he'd notice any second! Hey what are you doing Theo? No, I want to cuddle her more!

King was wrestled off the lady by Theo.

No fair, and why do you look like that now?

“W-Welcome back. Is this your dog Theo?”

You didn't tell her about me! Why didn't you tell her about me?!

“Yes, that's right. Af, King. Hier.”

I want to go back! Better make a good impression on her though.

King swiveled his head at Theo's command and stood at attention.

Treat now? Please, I made you look good!

King gave Theo the very definition of puppy eyes.

“...All right, fine.”

Oh boy oh boy!

As soon as King saw the bone he pounced on Theo placing his big paws squarely on his chest.

This should work!

King bounced enthusiastically trying to get the bone from Theo.

“...Af! Nee, King! Sit! I said sit!”

Good boy Theo, it's working! Just a little bit more.

Just as King had planned, the lady started laughing uncontrollably.

“...Hey! What do you think you're laughing at?”

King looked between Theo and the lady anxiously waiting to find out if his plan worked.

“I can't help it! He won't listen to you at all! I think King’s the perfect name, because he's clearly the one in charge!”

Hehe, oh I really like her. I hope we get to keep her!

The lady kept laughing and King heard Theo sigh.

“... I don't even care anymore, not after seeing that silly look on your face.”

Oh good it worked. Theo's not sad-mad anymore.

“I had no idea you really had a dog, Theo”

Guess even though you spend a lot of time with her you still aren't there yet are you?

“A painter I knew just up and left, leaving King behind. So I took him in. I keep him in the kennels by the horse barn.”

Whoa!

Theo lifted King up and nuzzled his fur.

I love your cuddles. I bet she gives awesome cuddles too.

“I never thought you'd get big, that's for sure. No, I didn't!”

Cut it out, you're gonna embarrass me in front of…wait a minute what’s her name? She has a name right? Look Theo, the way she's smiling at you! Now it's gone, why did she stop smiling like that?

“He just left? And you don't know where he went?”

She's sad for me?

“Struggling artists lead very rough lives under intense pressure. He probably fled at night because he couldn't pay rent.”

Don't tell her that you idiot, you'll just make her more sad! Don't be sad nice lady, I'm really happy here with Theo and everyone else! Well I could do without Arthur, he's always with Theo though and I guess he's a good friend but. I don't like how he always seems to smell like death. Did you know death has a smell?

“But to this little one, his owner was all he had. …And I know how painful it is to lose someone who was your whole world.”

King hung his head for a moment and let out the softest whine.

At the time maybe, but not anymore. Now you're my world Theo, I just wish you weren't so sad all the time.

The three of them stood in silence for a moment. Clearly the lady didn't know what to say to help Theo at the moment and King watched as the leaves blew in the breeze.

“I’m sure he likes his old owner better.”

What? No Theo! Why do you always have to think so-

“No, I'm sure King was so happy you found him and gave him a new home, Theo. Otherwise he wouldn't sneak out to greet you, right?”

That's right! Oh your hands are soo soft.

King closed his eyes for a minute but partially opened one up just in time to see a smile on Theo's face.

“I hope you're right.”

Don't worry she is.

“...Ah, I almost forgot.”

Aww why are you putting me down? Oh is that another bone?

King wagged his tail in anticipation of another treat but instead Theo pulled something out of his bag instead.

What's that, not food. Is it for the lady? You got her a treat too!

“... That's an awfully pretty magnifying glass for you, Theo. Did your other one break?”

….I can see why you wouldn't think it was a gift but-

“No, silly. This is yours.”

Uggh don't call her silly.

“What…? It's for me?”

Ok if you keep saying things like that you're not helping yourself.

“You're helping me with work for a month, right? You need the proper tools if you're going to be examining paintings so much.”

That's right, wait what? She’s helping you with work? And what do you mean for a month? What happens after a month Theo? Theo?

King tilted his head to the side and started to look nervously between the two.

“Hey, Theo. Why are you letting me help you with work?”

King looked at Theo.

“I already told you. So I can keep an eye on you.”

“Are you sure that's it?”

No, he's lying! I don't know why but go on, tell her the truth. See she can see your holding back in your eyes.

“...Yes, that's it.”

Uggh now who's the silly one. Look you made her upset now, why can't you just be honest?

King hung his head and let out a silent growl.

“But if you don't like it you can quit at any time."

No, no she can't! Don't say something so stupid, bad Theo!

“... What?”

“Everyone's been on my case saying I'm forcing you to come with me. What? Isn't that why you asked? Because you don't like it?”

No, that's not it!

“No, that's not it at all!”

See? Are you really that clueless as to what's happening here, or do you just not want to see it?

King sat and stared up at Theo and tilted his head ever so slightly in thought. Theo started to put the magnifying glass away but the lady grabbed his hand.

“Oh? So you do like it?”

She likes you.

“I never hated it, Theo. I mean I still don't know what I'm doing-”

Heh you're not the only one.

“But coming with you to look at paintings is, you know…fun.”

Theo, Theo do you see that! Do you hear how fast her heart's beating?

King stood up wagging his tail furiously but it stopped as soon as he heard Theo laugh.

“I was only joking, Hondje. Don't worry, I'll work you extra hard tomorrow, so don't be sad.”

“Who said I was sad?!”

That wasn't funny, if you mess this up Theo…

“Go on and take it. It's yours.”

“Thanks. I'll take good care of it.”

“What are you smirking for, hm?”

“Hehe…nothing.”

King continued to look between the two watching their changing expressions. He noticed the lady's cheeks turning progressively redder before she spoke again.

“I should really go help Sebastian with dinner.”

The lady bent down to King and he sat for her as she scratched him behind the ears with her dainty fingers causing his tail to wag furiously.

“It was nice to meet you King, I hope I get to see you again later.”

Yes please, I would love to see you again and get more scratches.

“You can visit King any time, Hondje. What kind of owner would I be if I didn't socialize you properly.”

No no no, very bad Theo!

“Very funny Theo.”

King saw the lady roll her eyes before she headed back to the mansion. Once the lady was out of sight completely he hung his head and whined. Theo sighed then reached down to stroke his head.

“So what did you think of Hondje boy?”

King started to wag his tail and pant.

I liked her a lot. She's so full of life and joy and warmth.

Theo was still looking in the direction the lady had left in, he seemed to be thinking about something.

“She looked so lost and frightened when she got here. I just want to help her, make her happy if I can.”

Theo…you can.

King looked up at Theo just as he cleared his throat.

“ There's something special about her you-whoa.”

King got up on his hind legs resting his paws on Theo's chest just as he had done earlier and looked right into Theo's eyes.

She really is Theo. She was so kind and warm and gentle, do you realize how fast your heart's beating? She's everything you need and she could bring you so much joy Theo if you only let her so please, please don't mess this up.

[dbstaches]

THIS CHARMING MAN

Dave Ball in Zigzag magazine, March 1984 issue - full article text bellow

Following our interview with Marc Almond in ZZ 3 we complete the set with Dave Ball. Paul Barney asked the questions, Linda Rowell* took the photographs.

Okay, you made me do it. I’ve turned it off. I’m talking about the new Soft Cell 12″ ‘Down In The Subway’. I want to flip it over but instead I shall leave the beefy brilliance of their version of Johnny Thunder’s ‘Born To Lose’ (hear it, buy it, you owe it to yourselves!) and tell you about an afternoon I spent in the company of Dave Ball in the living room of his London flat. Ushering me inside Dave smiles and proffers tea. It’s a small room, Dave’s keyboards standing majestically in the intimacy. My heart passes on secret information to my bladder and I have to make the first of my visits to the bathroom [DAMMIT] just when I wanted to be cool and collected.

Dave plays me the new and final Soft Cell album ‘Last Night In Sodom’ and it’s a breathtaking affair. Lots of drums, Marc’s voice reaching and winding its way down my back. ‘Meet Murder My Angel’ featuring Dave’s wife Gini Hewes on the most gorgeous backing vocals. ‘L'esqualita’ is seductive, inspired by New York club for transvestites where they mime to Spanish songs dressed obviously to suit such activity and another standout track is ‘The Best Way To Kill’. A relentless beat. (The title comes from a Sun headline where they asked their readers which method of capital punishment they preferred!) A lot faster than most of the previous album. It was recorded and mixed in five weeks at Britannia Row.

I love it madly but how do you feel? DAVE: “Of all the three Soft Cell albums, it's the one we're most satisfied with because we've been totally involved with it and had total control from start to finish. Rather than working with outside producer ... the ideas come purer.”

Weren't you happy with Mike Thorne's production then? DAVE: “I think we were at the time but he was more into making a name as a star producer. That's fair enough but not if you're a band and depending on someone else to help you get the sound you want. He was more into commercial safety if you like.”

How did you get that sound on ‘Numbers���? (To convey this I am forced to make a noise like a sick penguin, embarrassing!) DAVE: “I used a bass guitar going through an envelope generator. It's like a filter off a synthesiser. It's jus an effect pedal. I'll show you one. (Showing me the device.) Quite simple really. It's just a different context to hearing those sort of things.”

To digest these technical facts calls for a cigarette. Dave suggests a can of beer and whilst he is in the kitchen I'm off to the toilet again. The interview resumes.

Are you a shy person? DAVE: “I'm not shy like now but I am when in front of a lot of people. Marc's got something that really holds people's attention. He's more of a showman. I'm not interested in being a performer. I've never concentrated on it. I never needed to. I always relied on Marc.”

Were you unhappy with ‘In Strict Tempo’? DAVE: “I probably said something like I wasn't totally satisfied with it. It's not really meant to be thought as an album in that sense of being a collection of songs ... It wasn't released with intention of being a chart album. The ideas for new Soft Cell album were initially ideas I got from doing ‘In Strict Tempo’. It was testing ground. People try to read too much ... Like the track ‘Rednecks’. People actually thought I was being serious. The funnest thing is that people from America see the joke but English people don't seem to see it's a total pisstake of that area of America and the country music and the bigotry.”

A lot of tongue in cheek, isn't it? DAVE: “Of course ... Yeah, like on that tribal number, the voices on that are speak and spell.”

I thought it was you (why did I have to say that?) DAVE: “I think maybe I disguised the fact that it was a synthesiser and electronic too well. I just thought the idea of using one of them for a tribal chant was quite amusing!”

Did you get emotional doing the last Soft Cell gig at the Palais? DAVE: “No, I was more emotional doing the video for ‘Soul Inside’. Y'know tearing up the posters. That was the first point when it sunk in, ‘this is coming to an end’, but I don't feel upset about it because we're happy with what we're leaving behind.”

What is this film you've done the soundtrack for? DAVE: “It's called Decoder, a German film. I think they've completed it now. It's going to be shown at the German film festival and I think they'll dub it over in English so it will probably be shown at a few cinemas over here. Maybe just the ICA or bigger cinemas. It's also going to be released on video.” “The film is about muzac, the sort that's used in supermarkets and hamburger joints. Some of the music is by Neubauten, in fact Mufti is the star of the film and William Bouroughs and Christiane F are in it as well. Gen (Genesis P) makes a cameo appearance as an underground preacher. It's quite interesting. Mufti discovers a way of making anti-muzac so instead of pacifying people like muzac does, ot antogonises them and causes riots. I suppose it's very heavy and bleak, very German.”

Future plans? DAVE: “I'm writing a couple of things for Psychic TV to return the compliment for Gen appearing on my album and I'm supposed to be writing some material for Cristina (of Ze records). Do you know her?”

Sort of. DAVE: “I had a meeting with her and Michael Zikha in America late last year. Anybody who asks me if I'm interested in writing or contributing, if it sounds interesting, I do it. “I still want to have a main thing you could call it a group, but ot might end up as a just a couple of people and myself, but again it'll be different from Soft Cell.”

Are you still going to work with Alan Vega? DAVE: “I don't know about that anymore. We talked about it a year and a half ago and nothing happened. His attitude that came over in Zigzag ... I didn't like the way he made me feel guilty as if I owed him a favour. The only similarities between Soft Cell and Suicide was the fact that there were two people, one of them singing and the other playing a keyboard and they used a drum machine. But because we said in an early interview we really liked Suicide, people think they were a direct influence and we were trying to copy them but there's nothing similar at all. I wouldn't want to work with him because he feels I owe him something.”

Is there much unreleased stuff that might see the light in the wake of Soft Cell? DAVE: “There are loads of songs we did when we first started, but we'd never release those, they were just backroom demos. “I think everything we've recorded after this album comes out and the single will have been released. That's one reason why the album is a bit longer than normal. It's because we wanted to make sure everything came out. I hate the idea of leaving stuff unreleased because you never know a year later you might be doing something else and somebody decides to release something you didn't want out then ...”

... and you don't want out now. DAVE: “It's like what they're doing with John Lennon. He's an amazing bloke, still doing albums and he's dead. Pretty good that! “I find it sick. It would be alright if it was just released to make it available to the fans but they're not ... it's tasteless.”

We are both chainsmoking. I catch a glimpse of Sooty flickering away in silence on a small black and white telly in the corner. Dave plays me a really jazzy instrumental continuation of Soul Inside. It's wonderfully chaotic but since you're unlikely to ever hear it on with the interview.

Will you do anymore singing? DAVE: “You call that singing?”

Yeah. DAVE: “Possibly doing backing vocals.”

Don't you have any confidence in yourself as a singer? DAVE: “No, it's bad enough if I'm in the studio. I get embarrassed and nervous if it's just me and the microphone with an audience it would just be a joke.”

These questions must be really boring, maybe I should ask your favourite color. DAVE: (laughs) “It's blue.”

Have you got a strange sense of humour? DAVE: “I like black comedy ... Friday the 13th and stuff. I sit back and laugh at them, always the same plot. They know there's an axe murderer wandering around and the first thing they do is split up and go searching around the woods.”

Have you seen ‘The Thing’? DAVE: “I didn't find that funny. That made me feel quite sick.”

What time do you get up? DAVE: “Sometimes I get really lazy and don't get up 'till two in the afternoon and then I have phases of getting up early. I suppose on average between ten and twelve.”

Do you believe in witches? DAVE: “Yes, I believe in witchcraft, I'm quite interested in that. I've read books. I'm not a practising magician or anything ... Music is a form of magic.”

Are there any causes you feel sympathetic towards like CND? DAVE: “I'm sympathetic to the idea of nuclear disarmament and everything but I wouldn't go out and campaign. If everyone in the country said we don't want nuclear weapons it wouldn't make a scrap of difference because the government doesn't represent the people and big business are behind them. Money is more important to them than people.”

Do you have any phobias? DAVE: “Sometimes walking down Oxford Street if there are lots of people I get paranoid ... I don't like flying ...”

Do you mind if I use the bathroom again? DAVE: “No.”

— * Linda Rowell is actually Mick Mercer, main editor of the magazine at the time as well

[mirrorofliterature]

fic author interview

stealing this from @glorious-spoon because it looks fun - essentially a q&a for fanfic writers. tagging @elisedonut, @broomsticks, @felixantares, @certifiedbisexualdisaster and whoever else feels like doing it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

75.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

254,450 words.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mostly my Percy stuff with my most popular shadowhunters work thrown into the mix.

a study of cracked gold (1662)

everything not black and blue (1311)

whispers got nothing on the truth (1058)

why do i care at all (495)

falling from dusk into dawn (408)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Ideally, I would love to respond to comments, but practically I don't because they pile up, I get busy and stressed. It's often a choice between replying and writing - I normally chose writing. But I do read and appreciate all my (non-rude) comments.

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

the storm howls, and everything turns to ashes is absolutely brutal malec MCD I wrote for Shadowhunters Ficlet Instruments in 2019.

On par with this is:

Imelda finding her husband's dead body: if i fall

Magnus forgetting Alec: i miss all the times we had

All the Blacks dying: dreaming of a happy ending

Writing stories with tragic endings is fun!

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

A lot of my fics sit in the grey area of happy endings but not like, butterflies and rainbow. It's hard to say.

If pushed, I would say i just want to be wanted. It's a relatively light pining get-together malec fic at ~3.7k that ends with them getting together. I say it's my happiest because it has a clean, tidy resolution, without lingering existential angst.

7. Do you write a cross-overs?

I have written cross-overs. I have day-dreamt about cross-overs. I have not yet published any.

Mishmashing different fandoms is really fun. The Old Guard x Shadowhunters fic with Magnus running into the immortals in 17th century England and saving Quynh with his magical skills... I love the idea. Be great to write at someday.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not outright death-threats or the like, but I've had weird, entitled comments.

The most akin to a hate comment was someone disliking my fic because I made a disparaging comment about 1984 in it. That was weird.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just not my thing.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you co-written a fic before?

Also no.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

I do not have one, overall. The perils of having multiple fandoms.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but think you never will?

My malec wwii AU. It's 42k and contains some really good writining, but it would take so much effort to make it publishable.

Also, that is the angstiest ending I've ever written. I wrote a lot just for that ending.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I am very good at generating ideas and writing introspection, particularly of the existential nature. This helps a lot when writing character studies!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And long plotty stuff. Fuck dialogue, it always feels so... stilted and awkward.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

If it is small phrases like si, senora, ciao, that's fine. I write a little Spanish in my Coco fic, following the style of the movie. But I'm not going to go into full blown sentences - the characters in my Coco fics are definitely speaking Spanish, but my grasp of Spanish is not good enough + it's generally confusing for most readers.

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? Harry Potter in 2017, buried at the back of my AO3 page. Written? Total Drama. It exists, somewhere.

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

The Old Guard! Feels like a fun sandbox to explore and I think the fandom is cool (all the drama had boiled off before I watched the movie last year).

20. What's your favourite fic that you've written?

falling from dusk into dawn because it's my longest published fic, it was a labour of love, and I'm really proud of its construction.

[hey-howdy-hello]

3, 6, 13!

Original ask post

3. What were your top five books of the year?

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling, claustrophobic psychological horror with a sci-fi premise, really incredible.

The Dresden Files--if I count all seventeen books plus the short stories as separate, they'll take up most of the list! My favorite of the series is probably Skin Game, but Battle Ground and Turn Coat are strong contenders.

1984--started it while waiting for a Dresden book to become available on Libby, didn't end up finishing it but I want to go back to it at some point. Better than I was expecting, very engaging!

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle, supernatural gay rights horror. The ending went a little off the rails for me but the early parts genuinely made it hard to sleep.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer, surreal sci-fi unreliable narrator horror. I don't think I'm exactly its target audience (surreal ambiguity isn't usually my thing) but it still really hooked me!

This is excluding rereads, because I don't want these excellent books I read for the first time to have to compete with Rhenegade, Good Omens, and Ender's Game, all of which I know a lot better and reread this year!

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Tons! A few specifics are the sequels to Annihilation, Authority and Acceptance; Cien años de soledad by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (might still get to that one in time for new years); and Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw (tragically not on Libby). Also a lot of fanfics, mostly yours, iztopher! I'm way behind.

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

I was a good few books into Dresden Files by January or else the first few of those would be real strong answers--I enjoyed them a great deal, but hoo boy the misogyny. The weird sexualization of Molly in some of the later books dragged them down, too, so Proven Guilty in particular is a fair answer to this question, though the series overall holds its high spot.

As far as simple enjoyment, I didn't really vibe with My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix; no shade on Hendrix, I did love How to Sell a Haunted House, but Exorcism just really didn't grab me. Maybe just unrelatable to me, because the writing was certainly good, or I might have just been on my way out of a horror phase.

[dreams-of-valeria]

EPILOGUE

| Series: The Glass Cage Epidemic | Pairing: Evan Peters OC x FOC | Warnings: Obscene language, mentions of su*cide Smut | Word count: 3,263 | Rated: Explicit | Books mentioned: Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke, The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa

Who even invented EDM?

I don’t like to be dramatic but it was literally the bane of my existence. That, and Carla’s borderline gaslighting to drive her home after she got shitfaced at some dudebro’s graduation party she didn’t even know. Suffering this sur teenage wasteland was more appealing to me than hanging up Carla’s missing posters. I reconsidered that several times. One more week and I was quitting as her roommate and moving back to the dorm. 

Chopin in my ears vehemently fought against the muffled beats I was drowned in, even seated outside on the lawn couch (you understand the dudebro now). Yoko Ogawa was spitting facts in a cleverly wrapped blanket of magic realism, if the blanket was made of human tears, and I was destined to soak it all in. At Least, that’s what my mind told me. 

Mercifully, the sexual shenanigans were limited to inside the threshold, although I cannot say I’ve been exempted from them before. Why did people do things they thought they should be doing?

From the corner of my eye, I saw movement, and a figure took a seat on the ottoman across from me. It leaned forward in speech, and I was forced to take out my earphone. At first glance, he didn’t seem like a two earphone removal worthy person. They mostly never are.

“I said, there’s a party going on inside,” he grinned, dimples dented and brown curls falling across his forehead.

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.” I said flatly and returned to my book, keeping the other earphone out. The faster he could hit on me, the faster I could turn him down and the faster I could finish these last 20 pages.

“Can I get you a drink?”

I raised my book up and let him read my shirt. He scoffed.

Cue one drink won’t hurt, I’ll drive you home, subtext: with promises of mind blowing sex but in reality will essentially be three pathetic minutes of animalistic humping where at the end I ask you if you came because I  don’t know the fucking difference either way.  

“She lose her leg yet?” He asked, taking a sip of his beer, and I had to look up at him for that. His features were pensive, and just a tiny bit smug. Okay, so he knew he had my attention.

“You’ve read this?”

“Years ago, when it was first published. What do you think about it so far?”

I swallowed. That wasn’t a question I received often, and certainly not from someone like him. I noticed only then that he wasn’t unattractive, now that the other, cultured foot had dropped. We only see what we want to see.

“I think it’s about loss and the fear of it,” I leaned forward. He reciprocated.

“The author meant it to be an allegory of an autocratic government,” he stated, eyebrows knitted together.

“Yeah, but I’m free to interpret it the way I want to, unlike the people on the island.”

“Of course,” he smiled. “Go on.”

I leaned forward and yanked the other earphone out. “Sure, it’s dystopian totalitarianism, but I think the general theme of such a specific form of oppression revolves around the fear of loss. Think about it, why do we fear authority? It’s the fear of loss of control and freedom in your own lives. 1984, Fahrenheit 451, all the bullshit young adult dystopian novels these days, they have a common theme. In this book, loss of memory is rendered as loss of objects but none of that would have meaning unless you are afraid to lose said object.”

“Sounds like you’re suggesting materialism.”

“Everyone is materialistic. It’s embedded in our DNA to want and need and crave things.”

“Surely not all people?”

“Most people. Let’s say at a supermarket, which shelves in a row do you think sell out quicker than the others?”

“The middle ones?” He looked confused, but intrigued.

“Exactly. Ease of access, standard, you see other people reaching for fucking . . . Brawny paper towels and see an almost empty shelf, you think hey, I probably need paper towels too, better get them before it’s all gone! Sandra from around the block certainly seems to use hers to wipe her five kids’ asses all the time and god forbid Sandra knows I’m using a non-name brand product and yaps to the entire neighbourhood. And bound by this fear of standing out, you don’t wanna tippy toe or squat to get to the other shelves so you tell yourself this is good enough and convenient so what the heck?”

“Okay?”

“That holds true with Maslow’s pyramid of needs, my friend. It is a fire sale and the middle shelf of love and belonging is the first to go.”

He chewed on that for a minute, a smile always staying on his lips. He then got to his feet and sat at the hand rest at the other end of the couch.

“So you’re arguing that love is not everything?”

“I’m saying that people are entrenched to believe that it’s everything, be it of other people or things, and very few know better.”

“Like you?” He was just teasing now.

“I’m getting there. What about you?” 

He took a deep breath. “Do not now strive to uncover answers: they cannot be given because you have not been able to live them. Live the questions for now.”

I think I stopped breathing. “Perhaps then you will gradually, without noticing it, live your way into the answers, one distant day in the future.”

“I knew I liked you,” he grinned and took another sip.

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone not from English Lit who read Rilke.”

“How do you know I’m not minoring in it?”

“Are you?”

“Nope.”

We laughed.

He sighed and stood to his feet, stepping closer to me. “I know this will sound like I’m inviting you up to my room for sex, but I really want to show you something.”

“You make it sound like the two are mutually exclusive.”

“They don’t have to be if you don’t want them to be.”

I scanned his face. Who was I kidding? The minute he spewed Rilke, I wanted him inside me.

“I’m gonna go check on my friend and meet you out in 5?”

“I’ll be here,” he grinned again , making him look so much younger than he was. He had to be a senior. After a lot of difficulty, I managed to track Carla down at beer pong and assigned responsibility to a girl who lived in our building. She’d be fine. It would only be for a couple of hours. After telling her to keep her phone on for the fifth time, I nearly sprinted to the front door. My breaths were unsteady. Oh boy. Pull it together.

“My lady,” he smirked and offered his hand, and I took it without complaint after gathering my things.

He lived in a dorm and not a frat house, and I was somehow grateful for that. As was I for how it wasn’t overly messy like they often are, only a few things out of place and smelled really pleasant. His roommate was out. How convenient.

After some shuffling through his bookshelf–which was alarmingly impressive judging by the number of classic novels on it, mostly Russian–he showed me a yellow paged tattered copy of The Memory Police.

“Sorry about how it looks. Katrina,” he explained and flipped to the last few pages kept for making notes, and there it was, his analysis of it being mostly about the fear of loss.

“No way,” I said incredulously, reading the words that I may have paraphrased not 20 minutes ago.

“I know. That’s why I had to show you right away, you know? I mean what are the od–”

“Do you have rubbers? Sorry, you were saying something?”

“Uh, no. And yeah, I do have them,” he said, reaching into his drawer in a hurry.

“You’re prepared, I see.”

“They’ve been sitting in there for 3 years.”

“You’re kidding. You haven’t fucked anyone in 3 years of college?”

“Not in the traditional sense, no.” That smirk again. I couldn’t tell if he was joking. “In your words, there’s not a lot of pyramidion dwellers and that’s how far my line of sight stretches.”

“You do know these are probably expired?”

“Oh,” he looked behind me at the door. “I think someone down the hall–”

“I think we can make do,” I said and kissed him before he could react.

***

“I’ve always thought of sex as a chore,” I said, rolling the tassel of his hoodie between my fingers. He was cold and I was happy to snuggle. “The favourite pastime of friends who no longer wanted to be exclusively friends, or strangers who no longer wanted to be strangers. In the traditional sense, at least. IT’s always disappointed me somehow.”

“Doesn’t live up to your expectations?”

“Not exactly. I often wonder, is this really it? Is sex really the most fun we can have with our bodies? It all just feels like a let down, you know? It’s way too overhyped for a few minutes of feel good meat slapping. Don’t get me wrong, it feels incredible and . . . you were incredible but I feel like there’s more stuff we can do with our bodies that we haven’t figured out yet. I mean think about it, we have so many neurons and body parts and enzymes that we don’t even know what they fully do. So how can we just accept that this is it? What if there’s more? How do we know that this is it?”

“Is this your way of asking me to fuck you in the arse? Because I’d be happy to,” Ace offered graciously.

“No, but you see what I mean right? I often feel like I’m missing out on something.”

“Maybe it’s pain,” he suggested.

“Pain?”

“We have more pain receptors than pleasure. Maybe the BDSM folks have it all figured out.

I simpered and looked at him, the underside of his stubbled chin. A sweet, familiar scent emanated from the crook of his neck and I nestled into it. “It’s funny you mention that because it reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t freak out, but when I was a teen and knew how sex worked, I used to think of the vagina as an unhealed wound, never closing for fear of repeated trauma and penetration.”

“That sounds non-consensual.”

“Wrote a paper on it for the Feminist Newsletter.”

“Oh, I don’t read that anymore since they started publishing articles dissing intersectional feminism–but do go on.”

“I wrote about how all the other holes in our bodies have some sort of covering or border. We’re born with them open and they’re meant to be open. But the vagina has to be torn open, and it remains torn through repeated sex and childbirth. Think about it, the mouth isn’t harmed by food we eat everyday. Shit doesn’t harm us as it passes out. So why just this one gash? It’s like for women, pleasure can only be sought through a gateway of pain first and only the pain is mandatory. Guaranteed.” 

“You’re focussing solely on the physicality of it.”

“As opposed to?”

He shrugged. “Love.”

“Boo hoo,” I teased, lifting my head up to look at him. He was grinning.

“I’m serious. I think there’s more love involved than we recognise.”

“Oh really?” I scoffed, sitting up on my elbow. “What about one night stands? Where’s the love in that?”

“The thrill of novelty. Expectations. Exploration. Common ground. All different kinds of love, my pet.”

I rolled my eyes. “So love is the driving force? Haven’t you ever heard of good old physical attraction?”

“Just a means to an end.”

“But what end?”

He took a deep breath, and his fingers twitched around my waist.

“A feeling of love and belonging is sex’s greatest motivation. If sex were purely borne of love, it would be sacred. You know when Achilles died, he wanted his ashes mixed with Patroclus’. He loved him so much he believed they would be reunited in death if the remains of their mortality were mixed, so they could travel the underworld together. Now I can’t say for sure the underworld exists, but I think for now, this is what we have. Sex is the most colloquially accepted expression of physical attraction, but not it’s only driving force..” 

“And what of women, Aristotle?”

He chuckled .”I can’t speak for women.”

“Surely, you must have given it some thought,” I goaded.

“Okay then, I think women do it to escape a boring party with a mate of her choice.”

I laughed, and rested my head on his abdomen. It moved everytime he breathed, and I soon found the movement comforting.

“Means to an end, then? You’re saying it’s convenience?”

“Not convenience, no. I think it’s intrigue.”

“You think I'm intrigued by you?” Why did I sound offended?

“Aren't you? I certainly am, by you. I have this feeling of gazing . . . not quite in a mirror, but through a pond of rattled water,” Ace rested his folded arm under his head to look down at me. 

“Why rattled?” I asked.

“I've known you barely an hour, cherie. Intimately yes, but that's very little time. Barely a blip on the cosmic scales.”

“Hm,” I mused, playing with my own hair. “That comparison makes me feel small all the time too.”

“Right? How dare we demand things knowing how insignificant our lives mean in the universe. That’s why I'm going to space. I need a cold hard reminder of my place. I need to be humbled.”

“How?” I chuckled.

“I don't know yet, but I will. I have all the tools to map out a vague plan. All I need is time.”

“Good luck with that, time is a bitch,” I breathed.

“Isn't it?” 

“Everyday, it makes me mad that we can't control it.”

“It’s grueling stuff. Some days I pretend not to be aware, and I pretend to be stupid and content with worldly treasures like the others. Some days, it's just easier to pretend like tits are the greatest joy to mankind, you know?“

“Wow. Who knew I carried such wealth on my chest.”

Kit snaked his hand up my tee and clutched at one of his wealth. “My wealth.” 

“For all your talk of humility, you can be possessive.”

“You have no idea. We’re granted minor joys as it is, why can’t I claim ownership of the ones I like most?”

“Am I a part of this analogy?” I turned to my side, and my ears filled with the sounds from his bowels.

“You’re whatever you decide to be, cherie.”

“What if I said I didn't like you?”

He laughed. Uproariously. “I’d call you a terrible liar. Like it or not, we’re both on either sides of the pond.”

“Maybe we are. But it’s exhausting sometimes.”

“More so for people like us.”

“Do you feel burdened too?” I asked him. 

“Yep.”

“Do you sometimes wish you were like the others?”

“Brain dead? No, thank you. I’ll take the searing pain of knowledge over the cold embrace of comfort anyday. And so would you.”

“Careful now, Ace. You’re almost coming full circle.”

“How so?”

“Common ground. What next? You gonna propose marriage?”

He scoffed. “There’s no greater scam than marriage.”

“Hey, it’s the only union we’re familiar with. People find comfort in familiarity. At least some of us do.”

Kit tilted his head and gazed at me. It was the first time his tone had raised. “You find settling into a heteronormative and monogamous contract comforting? Fucking one person for the rest of your life?”

“You don’t agree with monogamy?”

“I don’t agree with the implication of it in marriage. Think about it, you have to find someone, buy a house, buy a car, mix your genes together, raise kids who would only do it all over again? It sounds like bullshit propaganda to me. Like it’s the best way to control us. Give us just enough freedom to choose someone and then fall into a cookie cutter world that’s been predestined and pre-designed since ages. It’s been romanticized so much that it’s the first thing anyone thinks of as soon as they’re out of college. We’ve been conditioned to think so. Like they’re afraid of what we’d do if we didn’t have a system in place. A distraction in place.”

“A distraction from what?”

“Who knows?” he sighed. “People haven’t broken norms enough. Everyone wants to fucking settle. And even if they want to break it, they’re gaslit and shamed for it, and they’re forced to settle. Some days I wanna scream at weddings. I wanna ask people what the hell they’re doing instead of doing literally anything else.”

“Have you been called vain for it?”

He chuckled. “Oh, Several times. But that’s how it seems to them, you know? To them I’m questioning the normal because I’m a loser who can’t find a girl for myself. It’s sad.”

“So far we have: all sex is love but not all love is sex, boobs good, marriage bad . . .  Do you ever wanna have kids?” I asked.

“Fuck no. Huge responsibility. You murder someone and you get 15 to life. Good behavior shaves off half the time. But a kid? That’s permanent. You’re stuck with them forever. Sure you can ditch them but the guilt will stay with you. It’s not like a subscription you can cancel.”

It made me giggle.

“What about you?” He asked.

“I think I wanted to at one point, but I think I’d just screw up. Too much generational trauma. Besides, I think I’m too selfish to have kids. I can’t dedicate that much time raising another human you know? I mean to be fully responsible for someone’s life, safety, education, manners, that’s too much. I don’t know why people do it. Whatever happened to the whole let a village raise a child. It’s unfair to dump it on two people.”

He hummed. “Now you see it. The entire family structure we’ve adapted is wrong.”

“Too bad we can’t change it unless we fundamentally change people.”

“Oh, do I have plans for that . . .”

I snaked my way up his chest to look at him up close. “What plans?”

“I plan to correct flaws.”

“You’re seeking perfection? Why?”

“Inefficiency, that’s why. Everything wrong with society is due to the weakness of humankind. War, death, conquest, disease . . . they’re just weaknesses.”

“But weakness is what makes us human. You’re arguing that we be built the same as rule-following robots unable to practice free will. That reality is far more bleak than the one we live in.”

“I prefer bleak over weakness anyday,” he breathed. 

“Why?”

“Have you ever tried to k*ll yourself”

“No,” I chuckled.

“I did. And that’s why.”

I sat up and gazed down at him. I expected tears, but there were none. Then I expected laughter, but there was none. Ace looked solemn as he told me how he tried to do it, but never explained why. I remember holding him as he slept that night, and didn’t understand why until 8 years later. 

I slipped into a deep yet troubled sleep that night, awash in the light of a kindled soul, one I thought I would keep forever. 

I woke up the next morning, alone.

fin.

[heatherly84]

Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkein

I've tried several times. I cannot finish it. I hate his prose. /o\

Harry Potter series

I was sixteen the first time. I always feel kind of like an alien because I liked HP, but was never that into it. In fact, I sort of resented it as a teen because people in my fandoms got into it and stopped writing for my fandoms. It took like five years for me to stop thinking it was a weird thing to write fic for.

The Bible

Reading the Bible is actually really interesting because there's a lot of stuff it says that no one tells you about, and a lot of stuff people say is in there that isn't. (The weirdest thing a person has ever told me the Bible said that it doesn't is that left-handed people are evil. It…does not say that. The only thing even close to that I found is that left-handed people are scarier swordsmen. Also, I learned that Heaven is not in the sky and Hell is not underground! They're parallel. Heaven's on the right, Hell's on the left.)

Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell

Well-written, depressing. Also not a great read if you have my specific combination of issues- ADHD, OCD, and an extremely vivid visual imagination while reading. ADHD means that sometimes, texts become a blur where I don't remember what I just read until I land on a word, phrase, or sentence that makes me go, "Wait, what?", OCD means those little "Wait, what?" items STICK THE FUCK AROUND in my brain, and the vivid visual imagination just means that I movie-projected this stuff in my head and may now have a visual I don't want and can't stop seeing.

There are many things in 1984 where this could be a problem, but ironically, the one that derailed my reading experience the most was that they kept being described as wearing overalls. I learned that Orwell meant coveralls:

...but I could not for the life of me stop picturing what Americans mean when we say overalls- what elsewhere in the world are called dungarees:

His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman

It was fine. -\_(:/)_/- I didn't like the second one. The switch from Lyra to Will made it very difficult for me to get into it and then we met the atheist ex-nun and I lost patience with the book entirely.

Little Women – Louisa M Alcott

This is one of my favorite books in the whole world. I am the only person I know whose favorite sister is Meg (Jo is second, I'm not a monster). I did not like the Greta Gerwig movie version. I fucking hated the cast in it. And the costuming. And a lot of the story changes.

Complete Works of Shakespeare

I haven't finished it, but I've gotten farther than anyone I know personally! Romeo and Juliet remains my favorite. I am the kind of freak who likes Titus Andronicus.

The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien

Easier to read than LotR, but still not my favorite.

Catcher in the Rye

Fuck this fucking book.

Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell

Contrary to popular perception, it is not Lost Cause bullshit that mourns the loss of the gentle and beautiful South. In fact, it's full of "The South were sexist pigs who were garbage to women," "The Confederacy was stupid and the war was immoral," and "The people for whom the pre-war South was most comfortable were mostly not equipped to handle their new reality."

It is holy shit racist, though. Less racist than, say, Rudyard Kipling's "The White Man's Burden," but very definitely aligned with it philosophically. It has multiple BIPOC characters (Dilcey and Prissy are both Black and Indigenous) with different personalities, experiences, and motivations, but also has them talk in a phonetically-spelled patois that rivals Fleur Delacour's in terms of "Jesus, why?" >:(

I think it provides a lot of great fodder for talking about racism, sexism, feminism, intersectionality, how capitalism and carceralism make good bedfellows, author vs character, history vs historical fiction, and if you watch the movie, a great study in how the themes of a book can be lost when converting it to a visual medium. Buuuuut it's not really a great pleasure read. (Also can't really imagine picking it up for fun the way you might Little Women or Anne of Green Gables. It's over a thousand pages long and full of historical and political asides, violence, and has at least two incidents of sexual assault.)

The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald

Couldn't finish it. :-/

The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

Love this book so fucking much. And am still prone to thinking about how I couldn't get the hang of Thursdays.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis

It's all right, but it is very weird to engage with as an adult who first read it at nine, with absolutely no idea of who Jesus was. I knew Christmas! I did not know Jesus. As an adult, I obviously know a lot more now about Jesus, and I interact with Narnia like I might with Greek mythology, just putting my nine-year-old self in the place of the Greeks: "Wait, but what did you think this was? What was this like for you then???"

Animal Farm – George Orwell

I agree that you really only need to read one, this or 1984, rather than both. However, I also like it better than 1984. (Talking pigs are easier for my brain to handle than asking me to take your dystopia seriously while imagining the entire cast in dungarees, apparently.)

Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery

I loved this book as a kid. It may also be the first time I encountered a fictional heroine who did something I did.

"But if you call me Anne please call me Anne spelled with an E.”

“What difference does it make how it’s spelled?” asked Marilla with another rusty smile as she picked up the teapot.

“Oh, it makes such a difference. It looks so much nicer. When you hear a name pronounced can’t you always see it in your mind, just as if it was printed out?"

I do this! I've always done it! It's not weird! \o/

The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

It was all right. Not as bleak as the show, but still pretty bleak. Also, I lost all sympathy for Book!Luke when he murdered their cat. >:( Let her outside, go door to door for a bit, hang up some "Lost Cat" posters, then escape your dystopia. Done. I bet you'd look less like you were about to illegally jump the country if you were just looking for your cat yesterday, too.

Dune – Frank Herbert

I love the Litany Against Fear, but find the book overall so boring it makes me want to peel my skin off. /o\

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

It's all right. -\_(:/)_/- To be honest, most dystopic fiction makes me go, "Eh, it was fine." It's rarely something I'm super into.

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

So, funny story. I picked this up when I was 13 because the trailers for the movie with Jeremy Irons on TV made it look so pretty, romantic, and dramatic. (Was I wrong? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ro4ty8zWcko)

Let me tell you. Thirteen is way too young to read Lolita. It also was demonstrably not pretty or romantic.

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

The Lovely Bones is really good, but really incredibly fucking sad. The title grabbed my attention in Barnes & Noble. I think I was 19 or 20. This is a book with a HIGH barrier for entry. Susie's description of her own rape and murder is terrifying and heartbreaking. And it's the first fucking chapter.

Dracula – Bram Stoker

Even in the form of Dracula Daily, I don't really like it. :( I do think it's funny that Quincey is like some kind of cryptid, though.

The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Super fucking sad. ;__;

Watership Down – Richard Adams

It's been like 27 years since I picked it up. I am still trying to figure out how to pronounce El-ahrairah.

Hamlet – William Shakespeare

I've read it, but I honestly think I should've watched a stage or film version first. I had to explain to my Shakespeare-hating child that reading Shakespeare really isn't how you're supposed to experience it. I might like Hamlet more- and she would maybe like Romeo and Juliet more- if the first encounter we'd had with it had been in a visual, performative medium.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl

I like Matilda better.

Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

I have NOT read Les Mis, but I HAVE read Hunchback of Notre Dame. It gave me nightmares. Also, while I love the Disney version, I read the book the year the movie came out and the whiplash of Movie!Phoebus vs Book!Phoebus is ridiculous. (I remain haunted by Esmerelda in the book asking Phoebus to tell her about his religion so they can get married, and him laughing his ass off at how silly it is that she thinks he would ever marry her. He marries his cousin in the end.)

How many have you read?

The BBC estimates that most people will only read 6 books out of the 100 listed below. Reblog this and bold the titles you’ve read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 2 Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkein 3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 The Bible 7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte 8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens 11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks 18 Catcher in the Rye 19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffeneger 20 Middlemarch – George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell 22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald 23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens 24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams 26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh 27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky 28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck 29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll 30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame 31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy 32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens 33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis 34 Emma – Jane Austen 35 Persuasion – Jane Austen 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden 40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne 41 Animal Farm – George Orwell 42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving 45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins 46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery 47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy 48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood 49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding 50 Atonement – Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel 52 Dune – Frank Herbert 53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons 54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen 55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth 56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon 57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens 58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck 62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov 63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas 66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac 67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding 69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie 70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville 71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens 72 Dracula – Bram Stoker 73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett 74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson 75 Ulysses – James Joyce 76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome 78 Germinal – Emile Zola 79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray 80 Possession – AS Byatt 81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens 82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchel 83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker 84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro 85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert 86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry 87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton 91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad 92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery 93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks 94 Watership Down – Richard Adams 95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole 96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute 97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas 98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl 100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

[9puppiesdrowninginapool]

r u reading anything at the moment?

okay i'm finally answering this. fr i beg for asks then it takes me up to 5 working days to answer them

well let's see i'm like reading 5 books at the same time while not actually reading any. I really wanna get back into reading, its kinda depressing when i think back to my childhood and how many books i used to read. so yeah, like i wanna read, but in the last three years i've maybe read one book to the end in my leisure time :(

but anyways here is a list of books i've started and which im technically "still reading"

Me - Elton John's autobiography

Dracula - Bram Stoker (i also tried w dracula daily but in the end i gave up because of all the uni shit i had to do)

Small Gods - Terry Pratchett (in spanish, my friend who's a huge terry pratchett fan wanted me to read it, but i gave up after the first 30 pages, i'm so sorry to disappoint him)

A midnight summer's dream - Shakespeare (also in spanish, this is the one i'm actually most looking forward to finishing, i think i read the first chapter exactly one year ago)

A game of thrones - George RR Martin (after i finished the show i was still a bit obsessed w it and needed more, so i started the book, actually got quite far w it, but yeah also didn't finish it, this must be more or less two years ago)

Eine kurze Geschichte der Menschheit - Yuval Noah Harari (my aunt gave this one to me and i read the first and second chapter and i really liked it but once again my motivation to read simply vanished into thin air, sadly)

Faust - Goethe (i've read the first two to three chapters like a thousand times over, but haven't read any further than that)

I also started pride and prejudice like three years ago, but i lost the book so i have an excuse for that one. really enjoyed the first bit that i read tho. anyways the list of unfinished books is never ending. so i'm just gonna leave it at that.

lately i wanna read a lot of philosophy essays, so thats a good sign maybe this summer i'll start reading properly again (tho i doubt it, i know i won't have time for anything)

then i did read so so so much fanfiction, it's kinda sad, then i have a never ending list of books i wanna read which is funny considering i'm not reading anything. but i really wanna read macbeth and 1984 and la sombra del viento (this one i've been meaning to read since forever i'm a huge CRZ fan, and this one is supposed to be his best work so), el hidalgo don quijote de la mancha, wanna read more sherlock holmes (ive read the first four books so far and am a huge fan) anyways the list goes on and on.

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[future-boi]

Thanks to

⚡️@daryfromthefuture

💘 @jowritesfanfiction

💝 @bttf-dork for tagging me!!! 🥺😭

1. First rewatch was right before watching the musical. Second rewatch was right after watching the musical... Third was recently as I'm tryna write a fanfic and had to go over some scenes but idk if it counts

2. Bttf the musical poster and vinyl record!!! It's now the second record in my vinyl collection hahaha

3. I don't drink soda 😅

4. HELL YEAH I always take the opportunity to advertise fanfic 🤩 Its about post trilogy Marty being a bit angsty about the new timeline and missing the old timeline. But it has a happy ending. I think its the closest to canon because other ones with the same premise lean so much into the angst (not that that's bad!!! Just saying it's not the same vibes as the movies u kno) Its also old but holy shit, it contains the most cathartic end to the series. The much needed closure 🤌✨️

Peace by dapperdragon

I'm so SAD cuz I don't think the author's on Tumblr? And havent posted on Ao3 in 2 years... Which sucks cuz I'm planning to DRAW THIS FIC. Or at least the ending scene 🥺💘 It wont be for a while cuz I'm tryna hone my skills and DO IT JUSTICE💪😤 but yeah next year is its 10 year anniversary that's crazy HAHA. Give it a read plz plz plz its only 1 chapter.

5. THATS TOUGH

It's so cozy and gives me all the warm fuzzies 🥰

I'm breaking the rules

BUT I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS. FIGHT ME

Anything by @cheriboms ngl HAHAHA

Ok but if I really had to choose:

Cuz it marks the start of Doctober 🥺 and like 🥺 we did that together 🥺👉👈💘💝

Also cuz its in color and sunrises/sunset always gimme warm fuzzies🥰

6. THATS ALSO TOUGH. Actually less tough. It's all under my [#personal fave] tag. But since the other was sunrise, I gotta put sunset 😁

LMAO when u link stuff, it shows ur tag line. I totally forgot I set that 🍫🍫🍫

7. BAHAHAHAHAHA... school...

8. The Wild Life (1984) I dont recommend it tho!! 😂😂😂 it has Lea Thompson and Eric Stoltz. I also checked out the one clip from that one episode on Family Ties with Crispin Glover and Micheal J Fox. I recommend that one, it's actually funny 😂

Then I checked out the clips with Tom Hanks on the show LMAO

9. Not this year, but during my American Psycho (2000) phase, I thought their undisputed masterpiece was "Hip to be Square" 🤌✨️ A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should! Because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself--!!

HEY PAUL!!!

10. None, I don't think...

11. Hell yeah! I detailed it all on this post

12. Uh prolly once a long long time ago that I don't remember LMAO she don't talk bout it like Lorraine🤭

13. "Hey..! What the hell is this?!"

14. I got to go on both European and US trains this year. Haven't been on a skateboard since I was a tiny kid. Have never been on a horse. Never been on a DeLorean. I have run in the rain lmao. Dance? Does a concert count? My friends and I danced at one (my first one!). Never hung up a clock. Does a ukulele count? I don't think I am or ever was capable of pulling an all nighter 😂 its so weird for me to hear my peers doing it. Like??? Yall fr? Nah fam. I don't read sci fi. I don't eat fast food lmao

15. GETTING MY FANFIC DONE. Currently, it spans 6 parts and goes over the entire trilogy, complete with a Hell Valley Filler Arc! 🤭😁 but I'm working on part 1 rn and will post it while I work on part 2 and so on...

I'm also planning to draw a moment from other fanfic I adore like I've done in the past few months

Learning how to color +render my digital art would be nice!

Tagging @cheriboms

Thanks to the 3 again for tagging me! Tho @daryfromthefuture, we gotta throw hands real quick u stole who I was gonna tag😱😭😭😭😂☠️ ONLY I GET TO BOTHER @jowritesfanfiction 😤😤😤 nah jk 😁 unless 😶 nah jk jk ily i ain't hatin 😂💝

BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

This year:

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

How many times were you late for school this year?

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

How many times did you fall down this year?

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

I tag: @agentmcfly24601 @moonlightandstarshimmer @brinkle-brackle @bg-sparrow @bttf-dork @mrfutureboy @pepsifox88 @tsukinikawatteus @itsthemorph @synthsays and anyone who would like to answer these questions! as always, no pressure!

[michelemoutons]

and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

[milfmacbeth]

what got you into classic literature and mythology in the first place? i want to read more of it to get better at analysis but i can never figure out where to start :(

hi anon! i’m not an expert in the slightest so take all of this with a gigantic heap of salt

i got into classic literature by being a pretentious smartass who wanted to look Sophisticated™ and somewhere down the line i discovered that classic literature is actually fun and worth reading for more than just bragging rights. that being said, i think the issue with getting into “classic literature” might be that the definition is so broad as to be meaningless. seriously, dante’s divine comedy and jane austen's pride and prejudice can both be called “classic literature” so i’m going to break this down a little to be more specific. 

here’s how i started or how i think you could start: (essay under the cut)

the classics (as in literature from ancient greece and ancient rome)

start with homer. seriously, i see no point in starting anywhere else. i started with the iliad which took some convincing because i expected it to be boring and incomprehensible. what did i get? one of the best fucking stories i ever read, filled with blood and death and tragedy and love. it’s beautifully written and so so worth reading. although i feel obligated to mention that "graphic depictions of violence" doesn't begin to describe it. homer isn't content with telling you that a character died, homer needs to tell you the exact angle at which a spear pierced a characters liver. it's a book about the horrors of war, after all. i read the robert fagles translation which is excellent and which brings me to my next point: i cannot overstate the importance of a good translation. with most ancient greek and latin stuff, you have the luxury of multiple translations and trust me, it’ll take you like three sentences to figure out whether or not you vibe with a specific translation. online previews are your friend!

(and if i may rant for a bit, the iliad should be mandatory reading on this hellsite and anyone who wants to act like they know what they’re talking about because they read a patrochilles fanfic once can fight me)

classic literature (as in anything older than a few decades that we as a society still give a shit about)

this can be anything which makes it really difficult to recommend stuff but here are some starting points 

when it comes to english literature, you can never go wrong with my good friend billy the bard (shakespeare). my faves are macbeth (witches! prophecies! a mad king on a downward spiral!) and hamlet (ghosts! depression! one of the rawest monologues i’ve heard in my life!). but you can literally just pick any play and go with it. 

as for getting some media analysis practice in. i really liked ray bradbury’s fahrenheit 451 and george orwell’s 1984. they’re filled with Themes and Metaphors. they’re both short and they’re both about as subtle as a neon sign on fire. they are practically hitting you over the head with how much the curtains are not just blue. fahrenheit 451 has a more hopeful tone whereas 1984 is as bleak as it gets. 

[spoilers] 1984 ends in such complete and utter defeat of the protagonist, i wanted to throw that book across the room when i finished it and i had to stare at a wall for a few minutes to process what the fuck just happened. good times!

as for media analysis, you can practice with literally any story. the classics just happen to be more thematically intricate than your standard hollywood movie. it just comes down to trying to figure out how a story works. does it work? if not, why? what was the author trying to do and did they succeed? i think the tv tropes wiki is a really good resource that explains tropes in layman’s terms and provides examples for each. 

mythology

this one’s tricky because there are so many mythologies. if you’re just getting into it, i’d start with the big ones (greek, roman, norse, egyptian)

the big ones usually have primary sources:

greek: iliad, odyssey, theogony

roman: metamorphoses, aeneid (i think)

norse: prose edda, poetic edda

egyptian: ???

if you want something a little more accessible, there’s a lot of books recounting the same stories for a modern audience. i personally love neil gaiman’s norse mythology because it first introduces you to the gods and then recounts the most important stories from the prose edda and the poetic edda. i’m usually a slow reader but neil gaiman somehow has the magical ability to make me rip through his stuff in a day or two. highly recommended!

and i only quickly rifled through roger green’s tales of ancient egypt but i really liked what i saw.

on the slightly more obscure side (irish, japanese, persian myth, just to name a few) you can probably still find some primary sources. the first few paragraphs of wikipedia will tell you where to look.

anything more obscure than that takes a special kind of masochist. (i’m researching slavic myth and it makes me want to kill)

so yeah, i hope this was somewhat helpful. there is a lot of classic literature and myth. i haven’t read nearly enough of it but if you consider me qualified to give advice (big mistake) then my asks and dm’s are always open.

[mandoalorian]

hi can i get a dio one shot where his gf is kinda little miss perfect like she always listens and never breaks the rules and her parents are always pressuring her to do really good but as she keeps hanging out with him and his friends she becomes more of her own person and she comes out of her shell more and starts liking the things he likes and maybe she stands up to her parents after they say he’s a bad influence for her ???

The Bet [Dio x F!Reader]

Author's note: Anon asked for a one shot but they’re getting a three part mini-series instead. 🖤 this is for all my lovely nonnies who have been asking me to write for Dio.

Warnings: mention of food and drink, brief mention of alcoholism, cigarettes etc

Word count: 2000

Masterlist

"You've been staring at her all day," Raven groaned, stabbing a curly fry into her pot of ketchup and shoving it in her mouth. "Just go talk to her."

Dio shuffled around uncomfortably. "I can't." he frowned, narrowing his eyes in your direction. There you were, sat at the cafeteria table alone, your head deep in a book. You'd left your lunch to one side, hoping to get back to it once you finished this chapter.

"Aw, does Dio have a crush?" Raven cooed teasingly, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Shut up," Dio retorted quickly. "You have ketchup around your mouth."

Raven's smile quickly faded as she pulled out a compact mirror to check her appearance. Dio went back to watching you. You were beautiful, and he just didn't understand how the world around you seemed to ignore you. He could somewhat relate. Although he had his group of friends, he still felt like an outcast. But you were always alone, your head in the clouds or stuck in some book. As far as he saw, you didn't even have friends. You spent your days cooped up in the academic library, studying or doing your homework.

"Pointless staring," Ash rolled his eyes, but Dio just swallowed, trying to dismiss his comment. "You could never get a girl like her."

Dio finally turned to face Ash, and even flicked a glance towards Raven who was still wiping ketchup from the corner of her lip, about to reapply her black lipstick. "I could get any damn girl I want." Dio folded his arms across his chest.

Ash hummed, scrunching up his nose. "Sure kid, whatever. If that's what you chose to believe."

Dio scoffed incredulously and leaned over the table. "You tell him Raven! I could get any girl!" 

Raven didn't look up from her mirror once. "Sounds like he's challenging you, Dio."

"Is that true?" Dio hissed. "You're challenging me?" his voice was sour.

Ash nodded his head and picked up a curly fry from Raven's plate. "We're all still up for getting wasted in the park tonight, right? Dio, if you can get ‘little miss perfect’ over there to join us, I'll take back what I said."

"That's ridiculous," Dio shook his head. "She's not gonna come with us. Sometimes I don't even know why I bother going with you guys," Dio looked back over to you— you really were little miss perfect; with the perfect smile and glistening eyes. When Dio looked at you, it was like nothing else mattered. The whole world turned into a blur, only, he could just about make out Ash's chuckle in the background. "Fine. I'll do it." Dio frowned. He knew if he didn't at least give it a shot (or better yet, succeed), he'd never hear the end of it from Ash and Raven.

Dio threw the crust of his sandwich back down on his plate and pushed his tray to one side before standing up. He brushed down his outfit, trying to make himself look somewhat presentable before speaking to you, and sauntered towards you. He could practically feel Ash and Raven's eyes burning into his back from the other side of the cafeteria.

"Hey," Dio greeted, clearing his throat and sliding down on the unoccupied seat across from you. You looked up from your book and your eyes met with his. "I'm Dio— I'm uh, I'm in your science class and math class. You might not know me but-"

"Trust me, I know you." you shot back before you could even let him finish. You turned a page in your book and pretended to seem uninterested. It was difficult though, because the mysterious boy with jet black hair and pierced ears was for some reason giving you the time of day. You— out of all people. You usually had good intuition and you felt in your heart that there was something not right about this interaction.

"What are you reading?" Dio asked curiously, peeking over to try and get a glance of the pages.

"1984." You mumbled back.

"Oh I love that book!" Dio exclaimed with a grin as he kicked his feet back on the table, knocking your dinner tray slightly. Now that comment made you look at him.

"You've read 1984?" you raised your eyebrows in disbelief.

"Well, read… watched the movie… same thing really," Dio shrugged and you couldn't help but giggle. He was adorable— and slightly dorky which was something you hadn't expected at all. "It's about how there's someone always watching you…"

"Yep," you nodded in affirmation and pointed towards the table where Dio was once sat at. "Kinda like how your friends have been staring us out since you came over." you waved at them awkwardly. Raven avoided eye contact, looking back down into her bowl of curly fries.

"Shit, I'm sorry about them," Dio sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "The truth is, Ash bet I couldn't pick you up."

"Why would he bet that?" You asked, sliding your bookmark into the novel and placing it down on the table. You suddenly felt vulnerable but at least Dio was being honest with you.

"Because, I can't stop thinking about you," Dio shrugged helplessly. "And I want to get to know you better. Would- would you be opposed to that?"

You thought for a moment, and then shook your head. Elated, Dio smiled and scrawled down his phone number on one of your napkins. No person had ever shown you any interest, and now one of the school's most intimidating guys wanted to ‘get to know you better’? You'd be foolish to lie to yourself anymore and pretend like this wasn't something you'd thought about before. You'd caught glimpses of him at the back of class, you'd try to repress a smile every time he quipped a sarcastic comment back at a teacher or distracted the class from their work.

He wasn't the type of guy you ever imagined ending up with, but you were still intrigued by his enigma. Dio might've only recognised you from science and math class recently, but you'd known him since preschool. Before he dyed his hair, got all those tattoos and piercings. He even used to live in your neighbourhood, before his dad died and he had to move. You'd heard stories about him since then, about how he'd ‘gone off the rails’. But he still seemed nice enough. Truthful, and he still had that sparkle in his chocolate coloured eyes that you remembered from when he shared the sandpit with you in elementary.

The napkin with his number on weighed you down until you got home. You placed it on your dressing table and sat down. It was staring at you— begging for you to call. You sighed, giving into the temptation and rang the number. After three rings, Dio answered.

"Hey, it's me." you said quietly, nervously biting your lower lip.

"Oh hey! I'm so glad to hear from you. I was beginning to get afraid that you wouldn't call." Dio admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. You overheard some chattering in the background.

"Are you busy?" you wondered out loud.

"I'm just with Ash and Raven. We're having a few beers in the park. You're more than welcome to join us."

You winced at the thought of joining them for beers in the park. You'd barely took a sip of champagne at your aunt's wedding, nevermind drinking bottles of beer with the most intimidating group of teenagers in the whole town.

"Oh I don't know Dio…" you mumbled.

"Hey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. It'll just be nice to have your company— and I promise, we don't bite." you considered his words and sighed.

"Okay Dio, I'll be there in half an hour. Text me the address."

"Got it," Dio grinned. "See you soon."

Ash chuckled as Dio hung up the phone. "We don't bite?" Ash quoted Dio with a smirk. "Oh, she's really that innocent huh?"

"I want you both to behave," Dio warned. "Don't scare her away." 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, wondering if you should change your outfit to something maybe a little more alternative. You wanted to fit in with Dio and his friends, after all. However, you remembered Dio has come to you, interested in you just the way you were. And you swore that you weren't going to change yourself for anyone. You combed through your hair and grabbed your favourite pink lip gloss— one that you wore only on special occasions.

Your mother came in just as you were applying it. "And where do you think you're going?" she snarled, raising an eyebrow as you puckered your lips.

"Out with some friends." you shrugged nonchalently.

"What friends?" she questioned you further, her voice was highly strung and she stood with a hand on her hip.

"You remember Shane Morrissey from preschool?" you asked nervously. "Well- he goes by Dio now, and-"

"No." your mother narrowed her eyes. "That boy is nothing but trouble. Ever since his dad died and he and his mother got evicted, I've heard that he's turned to a life of crime. A petty thief. And his mother? An alcoholic."

You scowled at your mother's condescending and judgemental attitude. "You don't know him." you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest.

"And I'm not sure you know him either." your mother snapped back.

"I'm going whether you like it or not," you huffed, standing up and grabbing your jacket. "You can't shelter me your whole life." 

Before your mother could even reply, you bolted out the house and ran down the street. Luckily, it wasn't too cold, and the address to the park was only a ten minute walk from your home. You spotted Dio, Raven and Ash almost immediately. The trio were sitting on a small grassy patch.

You sat next to Dio and tried to engage in conversation, although you weren't really familiar with the things they were talking about. Dio helped you out though, taking his time to explain things so you understood and he encouraged you to talk about your own hobbies and interests. The second Raven tried to peer pressure you into drinking, you politely declined and Dio whisked you away from them. "Are you uncomfortable?" he asked you in private.

"No, I'm okay, I think," you nodded your head in affirmation. You really didn't want to go home— you were having such a good time with Dio.

"Because if it's too much…" Dio trailed off. "Maybe we can go back to my place?" he suggested. "I know Ash and Raven can be intense. So it would be just us."

Your gaze flicked back to Ash and Raven who were sharing a cigarette and you smiled. "Yeah, okay," you agreed. "I'd like that."

"Good," Dio replied softly. "Let's go then."

Taglists— let me know if you wish to be added!

Permanent: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja190 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat

[main-lightning-boy]

Here are some of my book recs!!

If there's a movie too then I'll colour the title.

Sad books about teens.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky. Please look up a list of TWs for this if you ever read it.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz. Cute book about a young queer relationship.

Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World - Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily M. Danforth. Be warned, this one starts off cute and gets very sad.

Simon Vs the Homosapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli. I read the book before watching the movie. It's a chill read.

Dead Posts Society - Nancy H. Kleinbaum. I haven't actually read the book but I am obsessed with the movie and 100% will be reading this soon.

A Series of Unfortunate Events - Daniel Handler. I read these as a 10/12 year old, I never finished them but I definitely recommend. They're an easy read and I'd love to re read them when I find the time.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker. This book broke me in ways I can't explain. Please look up a TW before reading.

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich. One of my favourite musicals and it's honestly a pretty solid book for what it is. The movie sucks but just ignore that. Look up TWs for this.

Golden Boys - Phil Stamper. Young queer guys go out into the world. Cute.

Fantasy books/ Supernatural Fiction.

Lord of the Rings - J.R.R Tolkien. Haven't finished the books yet because they're so long, but so far it's a fun read. Movies are also amazing.

The Hobbit - J.R.R Tolkien. The movies were okay, the books have a lot of songs. These probably aren't worth reading unless you love LOTR.

Gothic! The Original Dark Tales. - Multiple Authors.

Interview With a Vampire - Anne Rice. I haven't read it but my dad is obsessed with the movie.

Twilight - Stephanie Meyer. Movies are a favourite of mine, the books are definitely something.

Comics/ Graphic Novels.

The Umbrella Academy - Gerard Way. I prefer the show over the comics but as a fan they're still fun to read.

Watchmen - Alan Moore. A social commentary on the government and power. Great read and the movie is amazing.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World - Brian Lee O'Malley. Such a fun graphic novel series and the movie is amazing.

I Am Not Okay With This - Charles Forsman. Cute style but a tragic story.

Social commentaries/ Serious books.

1984 - George Orwell. Good read, it's a little slow at times but overall, it's pretty good.

Animal Farm - George Orwell. It's short, it gets to the point almost immediately. A good read if you're into politics.

Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk. One of my top 10 books and movies of all time. Extremely misunderstood story. The book goes into a lot more detail than the film.

Biographies/ Autobiographies.

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. As a Glee fan, I love this book so much. If you like behind the scenes TV show drama, you'll adore this.

Lives of the Artists: Frida Kahlo - Hettie Judah. Friday was an incredible artist and an advocate for many political causes. Great read.

I'm Glad My Mom Died - Jennette McCurdy. This one really got to me.

Art/ Music.

Romanticism in Art - William Vaughan.

The High Renaissance and Mannerism - Linda Murray.

The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Music - Percy A. Scholes. I haven't read through it all but as a musician its very helpful.

Music in the Life of Albert Schweitzer.

Supernatural History. (I bought these when I was in my BuzzFeed Unsolved era.)

The Book of English Magic - Philip Carr-Gomm & Richard Heygate.

The Witches: Salem 1692: A History - Stacy Schiff.

Conspiracy Theories - James King.

A Natural History of Ghosts - Roger Clarke.

Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science - Jeff Meldrum.

I hope this helps! I've read most of these and I personally think they're great. I tried giving a variety since I don't really know what you're into. Have a nice day :D

Does anyone have any book recommendations, I want to get back into reading but K can't find anything and booktok is full of porn addicts who swear they aren't because it's on paper.

(Please I'm desperate I will take anything)

[melisa-may-taylor72]

Record Mirror- 08-25-1984

Ministry Of Works

Did you know that Freddie Mercury wants to make a reggae record? And that Roger Taylor would be selling flowers if he wasn't in Queen? Read on for more fascinating facts

MAYHEM IN Munich! Freddie Mercury is cavorting with a scantily dressed transvestite and it's only three in the afternoon. Are you man or woman enough to read on? Then swallow your vitamin pills and follow me.

Queen are limbering up for their forthcoming tour in Germany and to celebrate another single rising majestically up the charts, they're holding a little press bash in Munich's P1 club. A place even more decadent than the South Finchley Whiskey A Go Go.

The ghost of Adolf Hitler probably wanders around here on dark nights, as The Fuhrer used to store his paintings and other plunder in the club and the building next door. Unfortunately there's nothing left around today.

Instead, the club has gems of another kind. A selection of Queen's videos including the notorious 'Body Language' — and champagne and wine flowing like Niagara Falls.

The cabaret is Freddie's own idea: a group of well passed it drag artists, so outrageous in G strings and lingerie that they make Divine seem as tame as Marjorie Proops. Freddie's more than willing to join in when one of the girls does a rendition of 'I Want To Break Free', but the rest of the members of Queen look on shyly from the comforts of the bar. Everybody, but everybody is here to witness the event, including a film crew from the US air force, tramping around in full combat gear making a nuisance of themselves.

Freddie's doing well considering he's in quite a lot of pain. He remains tight lipped about the full details but he injured his leg after an incident in a club. A physiotherapist has been pummelling at it nearly every day.

"This c+ + + kicked me," says Fred. "I'm hoping my knee will be ready in time for the tour, but it's still giving me a lot of trouble. It might mean I will have to cut down on some of my more elaborate gorgeous stage moves."

FRED'S ALSO been hobbling around a Munich recording studio putting the finishing touches to his first ever solo album which should be out in January. Gadzooks, could this be the start of a split with Queen? Is it true Limahl's going to take over?

"Not at all. I've wanted to do a solo album for a long time and the rest of the band have encouraged me to do it. Some of them are even featured doing a few bits and pieces to help me out.

"There are a lot of musical territories I wanted to explore, which I couldn't really do with Queen. I wanted to cover such things as reggae rhythms and I've done a couple of tracks with a symphony orchestra. It will have a very rich sound."

Fred's also done some work with Michael Jackson, but he still doesn't know when this is going to see the light of day. They've done a selection of tracks together in Michael's home studio. For a while, Fred was even in the running to do 'State Of Shock'.

"I was out of town at the time so Mick did it instead," he says. "I don't mind at all. I'd like to release something with Michael because he is a really marvellous person to work with. It's all a question of time because we never seem to be together at the right time. Just think, I could have been on 'Thriller'. Think of the royalties I've missed out on.

"Michael has been a friend of ours for a long time. He's been to our shows and enjoyed them. We make a great team."

One of Fred's songs 'Love Kills', is being used on the soundtrack of the reactivated 'Metropolis' film and he hopes to make a 20 minute video using four or five of his own songs.Freddie and all the members of Queen have a long standing appreciation of 'Metropolis', which originally came out in 1927. Their stage set, in the shape of a futuristic city, has been inspired by it.The lighting rig measures 74ft by 50ft and the original design was so heavy they had to change it because it was in danger of bringing theatre roofs down. What a way to go, crushed by your own equipment.

AFTER THE European tour. Queen will be taking the whole shebang down to South America, headlining a 10 day festival in Rio. The place they will be playing is an amphitheatre down by the sea that can seat 300,000 people a night. It all makes Castle Donington seem like just another night at the Marquee. A local radio station in Rio held a survey to see who the most popular bands were and then some local promoters went out and booked them for the extravaganza. Naturally, Queen came out top.

Queen will also be doing some shows in South Africa. This is more than just a little bit controversial. Especially with the memory of Nelson Mandela still very warm.

"We've thought about the morals of it a lot and it's something we've decided to do," says Brian May. "This band is not political, we are not out to make statements, we play to entertain anybody who comes to listen. The show will be in Botswana in front of a mixed audience."

The band wanted to play Russia but the authorities objected. This situation might change now though, considering that Iron Maiden have been let into Poland to wreak havoc. *

"The Russians still think we're very decadent," confides Roger Taylor. "We want to play China as well, and Korea. John and I spent a holiday in Korea and it's a fascinating place. They're finishing work on the Olympic stadium for the next games!

Perhaps the Ruskies heard about Roger's high living on Ibiza. He's bought a house there and enjoys powerboat racing. Play time is over for the time being, though. After their two year break. Queen have been working more than 12 hours a day rehearsing.

"It's strange how rusty we are, and so we're trying to blow the cobwebs away," continues Roger. "It's taking a lot of work. Usually we rehearse until about nine and then we eat together and decide what we're going to do in the evenings. The clubs here are really fun. Something to cater for every taste or perversion.

"On the tour we'll be playing a lot of the old material and we'll be giving the audience what they want. A lot of the music I hear in the charts today doesn't interest me. I just can't see how anybody can get excited over Spandau Ballet. It doesn't send shivers up my spine. I like listening to Bruce Springsteen."

They might be old stagers, but Roger claims that tickets for Queen's British shows sold oul in three hours flat and they could have easily played another 12 nights here.

"We still have the rock and roil gypsy mentality," he says. "Even after 12 years without a line-up change we still really enjoy the buzz from playing live and the fact that we have hit singles. Some bands in our position might take it all in their stride, but we're still like kids, we get very excited.

"You've got to have a laugh haven't you? If Queen wasn't any fun, then I'd jack it all in and go and sell flowers."

Robin Smith

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