#i think i need to start consulting lesbians

[skooteg]

My male sims vs my female sims… YIKES

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 43 - Even Though I Knew The End by C. L. Polk

Oh this was fun. Never would have heard of it if it hadn’t been nominated for a Hugo, and devoured it in the course of a computer-less Sunday afternoon. It wasn’t exactly reaching for the stars, but it knew what it was about and it executed it well; there’s a real virtue to that. Also I adore slightly cheesy but self-serious noir and the early 20th century really is the ideal setting for classical urban fantasy.

The story follows Helen, a private investigator and warlock in 1930s Chicago. Ten years prior to the story, she sold her soul to a demon to resurrect her younger brother from a car crash that would have otherwise killed her entire family – for her trouble, she was cast out from the magical brotherhood training her as a mystic and forced to make a living as a cut-rate diviner and gumshoe in Chicago. The plot kicks off three days before the deal comes due and her soul’s forfeit, and she takes one last consulting job to add a bit more to the nest egg she’ll be leaving for her girlfriend Edith when she’s torn from the mortal coil. And then, of course, she finds out that a) her employer is a demon, b) the case she’s consulting on is someone ritually murdering other poor souls who’ve made deals, days before they come due, and c) if she solves it she’ll get her soul back, along with enough money to make to San Francisco with Edith and start a new life free and clear.

So this is not a book that sets out to surprise the reader. The storytelling is efficient and the foreshadowing is reasonably honest – you can guess just about every twist well ahead of time with even the slightest bit of effort. I’d say the book isn’t trying to break any new ground, but actually it’s the only example I can think off hand of this sort of genre emulation period piece that both has a queer protagonist and doesn’t either elide or edit out the homophobia of the their environment, so there is that. Anyway, ‘genre emulation’ is the right term I think – snappy, tightly written noir plot that doesn’t outlast its welcome (this was absolutely a novella-sized story).

I really don’t know the author or their work well enough to know how intentional it is, but the ending very much felt like a comment on the whole Bury Your Gays/Tragic Lesbian trope. Essentially, Edith gets herself heroically sacrificed saving Helen’s life in the climactic showdown. Then, once the dust has settled and Marlow (her demonic client) has given Helen her soul back she…immediately sells it again to bring her back. Better ten years of Californian bliss with her true love then an eternity in heaven (and besides, that brother she’d saved the first time had just killed an angel, so someone’s going to need to keep him company in hell). The book’s title is in no way subtle or metaphorical, it is a line of the protagonist’s internal monologue.

The story’s universe is a folk-Christian one, and it is absolutely imperative that when reading it you don’t poke at the underlying metaphysics at all. Angels and demons are real and magicians are the distant descendants of Nephilim and some of the Grigori still haunt the earth, and we have it on good authority that God doesn’t actually care about being gay and everyone seems very frightened of the idea of summoning the Archangel Michael to earth, but start asking any followup questions about angels and world events during the Roosevelt Administration and you’re ruin the story for yourself. Just don’t worry about it.

As a final note, I really did love Marlowe – or properly, she’s one of my favorite types of demons in these sorts of stories. Epitome of high class beauty, lives in a palatial penthouse waited upon handed and foot by layers of servants, eats the best food and wears the best clothes and has the best lovers, even a generous employer and creditor as long as you do what she wants and give her what she’s owed. The sort of demon who seems like falling out of heaven was worth it, and one you can imagine actually convincing someone to sell their soul. She’s fun!

[rubbercasing]

your job, should you choose to accept it, is to locate and seek out the nearest visibly disheveled "guy"* in your life who appears viscerally unhappy** in fully masculine settings around "other" men***, especially if they're being particularly misogynistic, but who is oddly comfortable around women and queers, especially when there are other transfems around. you need to ask about "his" hobbies. be persistent: it is likely the people around "him" have been fairly apathetic or outright hostile to how "weird" they are. talk to each other. become friends. once you are friends, you need to start nudging "him" towards trying new hair styles and perhaps painting nails together. test the waters. perhaps tell them they dress like a butch lesbian (if they also turn out to be a lesbian this will be useful leverage for your task later). maybe you can start "joking" about a maid dress. if they accept this, and at some point they possibly will, you NEED to be supportive. it doesn't matter if they look ugly to you (but, to be frank, if you completed the step of becoming friends genuinely, they probably won't). they may cry. they may be embarrassed. they may experience any spectrum of emotions you are not expecting or potentially expecting. unfortunately you must be wary on suggesting being transgender using the word itself; many years of potentially being in survival mode unknowingly have made person likely to reject things that would completely shatter their worldview like this, and internalized transphobia and transmisogyny are the twin cops in the back of every closeted transfem's mind. it's very possible and perhaps likely they'll push back. they could deny that it is ever possible for them to be "like that" (again, twin cops). ease up if you or they wish but never retract the possibility that they look nicer or happier like that. you must be willing to offer the small reassurances as well as the big gestures to back this up. let them sit with it. when the time comes, and you will know from a general shift in demeanor when the time comes, YOU MUST NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY EXPLICITLY, "I THINK YOU MAY BE TRANSGENDER" OR SOME VARIANT THEREOF. if she realizes this, your next step is to help her deal with that fact. it will take a while; perhaps it will never stop being something dealt with. regardless, you must be willing to offer a hand to help. there's a lot for her to catch up on at this point. have a girl's night with her if she wants. get coffee with her. get her something pretty. if all of these steps work, congratulations: you have successfully helped someone out of the closet *footnote 1. this is a closeted and/or unrealized transgender woman or transfem nonbinary person. **footnote 2. being fully dissociated or zoned out or on autopilot at all times counts as "viscerally unhappy". ***footnote 3. cisgender men. not in any way closeted. can be straight or gay from field research conducted. addendum: this briefing is non-exhaustive. please consult your notary for documents regarding other modes of potential presentation and documents regarding debrief.

[oingomyboingos]

i’m so frustrated on past me’s behalf. stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

i’m in high school coming out as bi. every time i walk to class strangers ask me if i’m a lesbo because they saw me and my partner holding hands. gay friends start making useless lesbian jokes about me. I don’t have the heart to correct them because for once they’re seeing something about me as funny and they at least don’t call me slurs. I am called a lesbian by other bi women because “you don’t date men.” I don’t really date much of anyone after my ex. i’m confused

i’m in undergrad coming out to relatives and getting told by family that “it’s all a phase.” even my aunt who is bi tells me, well-meaningly, that “you don’t know who’s out there, could be lots of guys for you.” I cannot describe why the idea of being with a man as I am makes a scared animal try to claw its way out of my chest. I start identifying as a lesbian, so as to avoid thinking about it.

I’m in senior year laying on the floor. the ceiling fan blades spin overhead. unrelated, I am going to vomit. related, I am a boy. sometimes. and something else indescribable. but I like being a girl? what do I do with my hand sewn skirts and corsets? my head is in a panic but the beast in my chest has finally found some rest.

I am a graduate student stuck living at my parents’ house during lockdown. I feel trapped, but my friends help me think about things other than family troubles. we watch bad dating shows and one friend yells at me for commenting on the bodies of the men. I am not allowed to have comments on men she finds attractive. “you’re a lesbian, no one cares what you think about them anyway.” “lesbian” not “dyke” or “lesbo,” but the word still stings with a familiar smart. it feels more like a cage than a safeguard at this point.

I am living on my own. one of my coworkers who loves playing matchmaker tries to set me up with my other coworker. I cannot get the words “sorry i’m a dyke” to come out of my mouth. somehow, they get stuck between my tonsils. I share that I think i might be bi with a different friend. we get high and her boyfriend tries to use me as their unicorn, without either her or I’s prior consent or conversation. My mental health spirals.

I move in with friends. I am happier than I have ever been. I buy a binder and give myself an asthma attack from how much euphoria I have from being able to run up and down the stairs without bouncing. I wear a vest and trousers. I start a collection of silly hats and sunglasses. I schedule a top surgery consult. I avoid getting insurance approval. that would make it all feel too real. I don’t deserve nice things.

I am still trying to muster up the courage to figure out when I am doing something that brings me joy, and when I am simply on the path of least resistance. by now, I know myself enough that joy has an easier to make out outline. I know the path to it. it’s just getting there that’s the problem. crawling uphill while my own insecurities pile in a mountain beneath my feet.

it is twelve past five in the morning and I am writing this. I don’t know why—but it feels good. my gender and my sexuality feed off each other in odd loops, and i’ve never heard anyone else talk about something like this before. maybe shouting into this void will help find others. maybe it will just give me the space to air it out. I need to email my psychiatrist about my insurance letter. thinking of it makes me anxious. but I will try and sleep now. tackle those mountains tomorrow.

[sunriseverse]

I am legally obligated to ask about lesbian lf/qxm (det. l) and vampire fic <3

okay SO luo fei and qin xiaoman are from a sherlock-esque detective show set in the 30s in shanghai. they fill a holmes-watson dynamic and a lot of people ship them as an ot3 together with the other portion that makes up the holmes-watson trifecta in the show, and like, yes. that is nice. but i want to write about them as lesbians because i think lesbian!holmes/watson is fun. screenshot from a convo i had with my friend that summarises how their vibes are to me in the lesbian au:

anyway basically it started because there's this scene in the show where xiaoman tackles luo fei and knocks the gun out of his hand (he's trying to make a demonstration of how a crime scene would have happened, she thinks he's actually going to shoot someone) and like, as lesbians. that is so so sexy. in my head xiaoman was VERY popular with the ladies back in her hometown and when she gets to shanghai as soon as she and luo fei are paired together she's like a bloodhound with the scent. she knows exactly what she wants and she's going to get it. even if "it" is a slightly pathetic wet consulting detective. luo fei has the misapprehension she could be in control and xiaoman disabuses her of that concept very quickly. she is also very much a pillow princess and xiaoman lovingly rips her to shreds about how prissy and high maintenance she is. unfortunately luo fei is into this. there is no overarching criminal plot as in the show because i don't have the mind space necessary to do Case Fic.

vampire fic is nanqiu (from the show i've been watching recently, zmyx/the spirealm) and the concept is that instead of li dongyuan dying to protect lin qiushi in the third level door, lin qiushi "dies" to the door god...............only, they're something like a vampire, so he's not dead dead. he realises vaguely what's happened and tries to hide it from ruan nanzhu out of worry of how he'll react if he realises lin qiushi is a monster, and because he doesn't feed like he needs to, he and ruan nanzhu wind up together behind a door and lin qiushi starts to lose control. when ruan nanzhu figures it out he offers to let lin qiushi feed off of him. obviously. this fic is a barely-disguised excuse for homoerotic blood drinking.

[magicalgirlsirin]

hi you got me interested in tokusatsu and i was wondering what would be a good one to start with?

[insert sickos yes!!!! meme]

right okay so starting off with the big three series

Ultraman R/B: i admittedly have not watched this, but i consulted with my friend henri who has and this was the top recc for ultras. so yknow! reports say theres lesbians in this. in general seasons of ultraman tend to be shorter so its an easier watch

Kamen Rider Fourze: this is genuinely such a good rider which is why my url is based on it. the setting is just, japanese high school based on american high school but specificially the kind you see in movies about being in high school, starring gentaro who is determined to befriend everyone in the universe, and a very cute space theme + the power of friendship. when i was watching it i kept being like "wow gentaro is literally a magical girl protag" bc he has such infectious cheerful energy :)

Gokaiger: I feel like this is THE quintissential anniversary season. funky space pirate polycule accidentally stumbles into the role of protecting earth. There's a lot of features of past sentais as well as tons of actors reprising their roles for this one, so if you spot a different sentai you think you might like this is imo the best showcase of it. ahim is also #mygirlboss

now this next recc is an independently made toku but its really really good and i'd be remiss to not mention it

Dogengers: Local heroes in the Fukuoka prefecture are left scattered to the wind after the villainous Yabai Kamen manages to take over! It's up to a newly recruited hero, "Rookie", to bring them back together. Dogengers also has a second and third season, being Nice Buddy and High School, respectively.

-

Okay now this section is like "ones I really enjoyed but I wouldn't really consider them incredibly optimal starting points but i like the them"

Shinkenger: Shinken is a bit more of a serious romp, but its done soooo well it makes me go silly mode every time. Featuring a crew of samurai descended from a long line of warriors, they're all just doing their best to finally defeat the evil spirits that enter the human world. Takeru is such a team lead ever and i like how everyone on the team has a different opinion about their duty. yknow.

Gekiranger: GECK GECK!!!! tldr there are two schools of arts in a power struggle, beast arts and evil beast arts. you will never be able to guess who the antagonists belong to based on these naming conventions. starring the most feral man i have ever seen in my life [bc he was taken from the jungle], jan, who is a naturally talented fighter chosen to help defeat the evil beast arts users for the sake of humanity or something. my personal favorite character is mele who is in fact evil but she was really hot while doing it so she gets a pass. her transformation is a chameleon and her suit is designed so that the eyes of the chameleon are positioned directly where her tits are, which is a detail i cannot ignore

Donbrothers: this one is currently ongoing and frankly i dont know how to explain it. its definitely a departure from traditional sentais, featuring the main team in more of an ensemble arrangement since for the majority of the show they dont all know each others identities. theres a lot of major moving parts and its honestly a really wild ride, but i enjoy seeing how the different story pieces unfold. the main character is haruka kito, the most 17 year old high school girl ever who is a disgraced mangaka. she is stubborn and honestly a spitfire, and there is something wrong with her. at one point she gets kidnapped and goes "wow! this will be a great experience to put into my next manga!" even though there is not a single publishing agency that would touch her stuff with a 10 foot pole. she is an inspiration to me to become less normal. donbrothers is technically a sequel to the series right before it, but i dont think you need to watch it because there is exactly one character carried over and he is nothing like how he was in the previous season.

Den-o: oughhh the . with the scrumbly... den-o is genuinely one of my favorite riders as well. the main character Ryoutarou is one of the most sopping wet pathetic 18 year old guys ever and he is being so brave about it. hes a bit of an airhead and definitely a pushover, but its honestly one of the reasons i love him so much. den-o is about ryoutarou becoming a rider with the help of possession from 4 other imagin, which are beings sprung up from the sands of time which seek out people with strong desires to grant their wishes. once those wishes are fufilled, the imagin can enter the past of a person and wreak havoc. the goal of most normal imagin[read: not the ones that hang out with ryou] is to destroy the future, but Ryoutarou and his gaggle of weirdos ride the Denliner to help protect it. It's soooo good okay. den o was super popular so it has a billion spinoff mini series and cameos in other riders but i think it stands best on its own

Exaid: now i want to be clear here and tell you. exaid is not good. exaid is okay and is good in my mind. but it was my first rider so i am attached. It's a part medical drama part video game full time wild fuckin ride where our main character Emu Hojo becomes an intern at a special hospital unit where the staff is able to transform into riders to help fight against the Bugster virus, a special strain of disease that if left untreated allows bugsters [video game entities] to manifest in the real world, killing the patient in the process. The medical drama part is really just a catalyst to the video game stuff, but seeing Emu have his patience tested by the most insane men in the world is worf. Also the nurse Asuna/Poppy is literally sooooo virusgender and I want to steal her gender so bad. i would talk abt dan kuroto since youve probably seen me post abt him before but i feel hes best experienced than explained. just know hes got autism and issues.

Changerion: prolly the oldest toku ive picked up, this one isnt really comparable to anything. its definitely slower paced than the other series ive reccomended so far, and it can definitely feel unfocused. it also suffers from having a reduced episode count [which was cut due to lack of popularity]. in spite of this, i think it was one of my favorite watches ever. The main character, Akira, is a wildly out of control bisexual man. on adderall. He's a detective without work and the first case he manages to land in a while ends up with him in a car crash that grants him the ability to transform. However, instead of being excited with his new purpose in life, he pretty much just tries to slack off and dodge responsibility as much as possible, much to the chagrin of Hayami [the man originally meant to be the one transforming]. Akira very reluctantly fights against the darkzeid, who feast on humanity for power and can open gateways to whats pretty much just a hell dimension. Kuroiwa is a standout character as well, being an antagonist but just so bizzarely charming he ended up as a favorite. He's a darkzeid who wants to integrate with humanity but instead of finding normal ways to do it, he just tries taking over japan. yknow how it is.

EDIT: chewing on glass how could I forget

The High School Heroes: this is only 8 episodes very short but also the episodes are long so it's longshort. Featuring a tokuota (toku otaku) who's obsessed with gorengers(first ever sentai) bringing together his classmates to form a defense club since students keep mysteriously turning into monsters! Also featuring a transfem character who's arc made me cry and she's also my best friend btw. There's a lot of references to gorengers overall but you don't have to know it to go oh it looks cool

-

sorry this is such a long post i wanted to give you a lot of options and also just like. theres a lot of good points to different series and each one offers something different in theme and tone. also i probably couldve recommended more but this is already such a big list. okay glhf

[nysocboy]

Lucifer Episode 5.15: A hetero-horny Miles Burris, gay and bi erasure, and three butts

Miles Burris' 2023 demo reel shows him in The Righteous Gemstones (as God Squad member Titus), Lucifer, Young Rock, and Teachers, so let's take a look at Lucifer.  He appears three times in 2021, first in Episode 5.15: "Is This How It's Really Going to End?"  Uh-oh, sounds Apocalyptic.

Scene 1: God is retiring, and the angels have to vote for either Lucifer (Tom Ellis, below) or the Archangel Michael (also Tom Ellis) to take His place. Luce's chances are limited by that war-in-heaven thing, but he argues that his years of penance on Earth have changed him, given him the skills necessary to be successful in the job. He needs his siblings, including Jophiel (Miles Burris, top photo), to campaign for him.  

They meet in a night club of some sort -- all we see is the bottom halves of girls' bodies.  Jophiel gazes goofily at the boobs of the invisible girl bringing them drinks.  He is wearing a suit coat with no shirt, so he can flex his pecs to impress girls.

 Lucifer claims that Michael has been doing a Wormtongue-thing on the Big Guy for milennia, making him think he's losing power in order to grab the Throne for himself.  What is this, Succession?  But Jophiel can't decide -- Luce is a lot of fun, but is he a good administrator?  "Michael's  kind of a dick, but he keeps the trains running,"  

Scene 2: Luce offers a female friend or girlfriend a job as consultant, but she doesn't want to move to heaven in the middle of a school year. "Well, hold off until I can convince my siblings to vote for me."  He calls her the future "Mrs. God," so they're romantic partners.

Scene 3: At a bloody crime scene, Dan (Kevin Alejandro, left) wants to fix up the forensic photographer (a lady) with his old cop partner Carol.  Lesbians?  No: 

"A guy with a girl's name?  I'm out!" she says in disgust.  Hey, just because he has a traditionally feminine name doesn't mean he's a fruit, you homophobe!  

"He's a guy, and a good one," Dan continues.  Do you mean "a good guy," as in "nice," or "good at being a guy," as in "not a fruit"?  

I'm a little impatient today, and we've already seen a ton of heterosexism in the first five minutes.  One more homophobic comment, and I'm out.

Why doesn't Dan want her for himself?  Maybe he's gay, and has a boyfriend waiting at ho,e.

Photographer thanks Dan for the thought, but with all the horrible tragedies she has lived through recently, she's not ready to start dating yet. This must be a regular character. 

Lucifer and Girlfriend enter, and hear about the corpse: Jonathan Donnelly, 53, a medical techician, tied up, forced to drink wine for several hours, and then shot.  His phone reveals a nasty argument with a guy named Mo.  So Lucifer's day job is police detective?  I thought he liked crime.

The full review is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

[thelesbiantarotbitch]

Personal Reading 5/24/23

This is the reading I ended up doing for myself today. It's important to know that I read right to left in the row of three (past, present, future), up top as potential setback, and the bottom as possible outcome. The card on the side is an impulse card, which I drew because that card was speaking to me as I was selecting cards and I had already drawn five for my preliminary spread. I usually see impulse cards as another present card, something I'm experiencing currently (or the person I'm reading for) but is not the primary focus of the reading.

For the past, I drew the Fool. The fool usually represents innocence or new beginnings. I'm getting a strong feeling that in this reading, the fool is more in reference to new beginnings rather than innocence. I'm doing a love reading for myself, so I believe this could be in reference to me recently coming out as a lesbian and experiencing queer dating for the first time in my life.

For the present, I drew the Eight of Swords. When talking about cards in the minor arcana, I like to consider the number a lot when thinking about the card. Eight is at the end of the cycle of ten, but it isn't a whole number in the same way as three or five. It's very close to the end of the cycle but it hasn't quite reached the end. The eight of swords represents isolation, vulnerability, and a feeling of hopelessness. This card asks you to reach out and ask for help instead of giving into the feeling of loneliness. I can definitely see why this would appear in my present. I've been going through some emotional turmoil on the romance side and I don't really know what to do next, which is why I consulted the metaphysical in the first place.

The card I pulled for the future is the Queen of Swords. She is a very ambitious and calculated feminine figure. She's very intelligent. This card can be a reminder to stay level-headed and perceptive, but it can also be a reference to a specific person in your life. I believe in this reading, the Queen of Swords is a reference to a particular person.

At first, I was puzzled when I drew the Star as my potential setback. After reflecting on the meaning of this card, I'm reminded that while the star is a generally very positive card, it comes directly after the tower (which, some say, is the most negative card in the tarot deck). I have faced some traumatic events recently, and while I do want to start dating again, my recovery takes priority. I believe this card is telling me that it's possible I still need to take some time with myself before I'll be ready to start seeing anyone, which could be considered a "setback" to my love life, even though it's extremely important and vital that I continue to take care of myself before getting into a relationship with someone else.

Continuing with this theme, I drew the Three of Swords Reversed as another possible outcome. The three of swords upright is one, if not my favorite, card. It represents heartbreak and deep sorrow. It's painful, and also very honest. Reversed, it means that while that heartbreak and sorrow is still there, it's recovering. The suffering has ended, and healing has began. Regardless of whether or not I enter into another romantic relationship, this trauma exists and I'm still healing from it, which is important for me to remember.

Finally, for my impulse card, I drew the Knight of Wands. He's very passionate and ambitious. He's creative, and he invites you to pursue your creative ideas. I'm not sure if this card really has to do with the love reading in particular, but it's a good reminder that although romance is important and can bring a lot of fulfillment to our lives, it's not the only way to feel whole.

The deck I've been using is The Essential Tarot, by Chloé Zarka Grinsnir!

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Golden Moments, Part 1

Sophia announces her intentions of moving in with her son Phil and his family. The Girls reminisce about the good times while trying to convince her to stay.

Picture It...

Blanche and Dorothy are in the kitchen when Rose enters with a tin of cat food behind her back. She’s been feeding the strays outside. Sophia enters and casually announces that she’s moving out. The Girls demand she explain herself, and she says she got off the phone with her son, Phil. His wife left him and took four of his six kids with her. Sophia intends to go live with Phil and help him raise the remaining two. Dorothy criticizes Sophia for trying to solve Phil’s problems and, when Sophia tries to counter about Dorothy’s problems, Dorothy reminds her why she moved there...

SOPHIA: Boy, something smells good in here! What’s for lunch? BLANCHE: It’s cat food, Sophia. SOPHIA: Is that seafood medley? ROSE: Yes it is! SOPHIA: They used to feed that to us every Sunday at the home. DOROTHY: Man, they did not make you eat cat food at Shady Pines. SOPHIA: I didn’t say they made us eat it . . . you had the option to go hungry.

Clip from “The Engagement”: [The] doorbell rings, and Dorothy answers to see her mother Sophia Petrillo, who says that her nursing home burned down. As Blanche has to explain to Rose, Sophia’s cutting words are the result of her stroke destroying her inhibitions . . . Harry arrives and schmoozes all of the ladies, though Sophia is not impressed.

The Girls ask why Sophia can’t just visit Phil, and tell her she won’t have any privacy or rest as she, Phil, and his two sons will be living in a trailer. Sophia says she doesn’t get any sleep or privacy anyway thanks to the Girls invading each other’s rooms all the time. | Clip from “On Golden Girls”: [Dorothy is staying in Sophia’s room.] They argue over the amount of topical ointments Sophia’s wearing, and the hacking sounds she makes as she’s sleeping.

Clip from “Isn’t It Romantic”: In her room that night, Dorothy consults with Sophia about her feelings on gay people. Sophia says she wouldn’t love her children any less if they were gay. Dorothy eventually confides that Jean thinks she’s in love with Rose. Sophia immediately starts cracking up at the thought of someone falling for “Little Miss Muffet,” which attracts the attention of Blanche. Sophia tells her Jean is a lesbian. It takes a while for Blanche to catch on, but eventually she does. She’s confused by the idea that anyone wouldn’t be attracted to men, but she says she only cares that Jean is happy. Then they hit her with the other news about Rose. Blanche is indignant … that Jean would prefer Rose over her.

Clip from “Bedtime Story”: Sophia’s the only one in the house with an electric blanket to get them through the night . . . They all cuddle up in bed together. Sophia silences their complaining about which side of the bed they’re on and Dorothy agrees that she needs to go to work early. Rose suddenly remembers that she needs to say her prayers, to the rest of the Girls’ disbelief. She kneels down and thanks God for the other Girls and how they keep her warm on a cold night. When the prayer starts getting too lengthy, a deep voice suddenly tells Rose to get into bed. Blanche leans over and congratulates Dorothy, who mutters back to a terrified Blanche that it wasn’t her.

BLANCHE: Well, maybe we have all dated our share of losers, but I, personally, have had my share of winners, too. SOPHIA: Please, you’ve ridden more winners than Willie Shoemaker.

Sophia again says she’s certain about moving in with Phil, criticizing his wife for not appreciating him. Dorothy says Phil has always had terrible taste, but Sophia reminds them they’ve all dated some losers. | Clip from “Blanche and the Younger Man”: Blanche arrives home with her aerobics instructor, a young Harry Hamlin-circa-Clash of the Titans-lookalike named Dirk. He asks if they can go out to dinner, and Blanche is flattered.

Clip from “Forgive Me, Father”: Frank quickly realizes that Dorothy didn’t know he was a priest . . . the other Girls hustle out to let her talk to Frank, who says he assumed Dorothy knew that he was a priest. They’re both embarrassed, despite the assertion that they can still be friends, and make awkward conversation. Clip from “‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas”: Blanche made them all a calendar called The Men of Blanche’s Boudoir, featuring naughty images of some of her more special paramours.

Clip from “A Little Romance”: Blanche and Dorothy want to know who [Rose’s] new squeeze is, and she says he’s a psychiatrist at her grief center named Jonathan Newman. She’s strangely evasive when the other Girls ask when they can meet him. . . The bell rings again, and Dorothy answers this time. Now the caller gets to introduce himself: Dr. Jonathan Newman. Dorothy’s initially disconcerted to see he’s a little person, but quickly composes herself.

Blanche, however, thoroughly embarrasses herself by accusing Rose of hiring a little person to “teach her a lesson.” (Apparently not one in sensitivity.) Dorothy takes Blanche away to collect herself, and Blanche is determined to be a good hostess from then, but flubs it when offering Jonathan shrimp. | Back in the kitchen, the Girls ask Sophia if there’s anything they can do to convince her to stay. She says her mind is made up and she’s leaving the next day.

SOPHIA: My baby needs me. DOROTHY: What about me, Ma? SOPHIA: You’ve always been able to take care of yourself. You don’t need me. BLANCHE: Alright, what about me? SOPHIA: You were always strong and independent even before I got here. You don’t need me. ROSE: What about me? SOPHIA: You? You need the Wizard of Oz.

“With the right woman behind him, he could’ve had a real diamond in his front tooth.”

We’re almost to the end of Season 3, and we’ve finally gotten our first clip show. Just to be clear, episodes that feature newly filmed footage of past events are flashback episodes, while episodes that feature previously filmed stuff are clip shows. Presumably these episodes were made so that the show’s cast and crew could get a couple of weeks of minimal work, and in that spirit I’ve decided that, when we cover clip shows, I will copy-paste my own analysis of the clips from past Stay Golden Sunday posts. I’ll also include links. I’ve already summarized the scenes in question, so I might as well use those.

These clip shows are all two-parters, and each of the next three seasons will have them -- Season 4 & 5  end with clip shows, and they comprise the penultimate episodes of Season 6 (which ends with the Henny Penny episode instead). I suspect that the crew discovered that the shorter filming days these episodes afforded them made for a good way to end a season. This episode’s framing device takes place entirely within the kitchen over the course of maybe an hour of conversation. Not to diminish the challenges of television work, but that’s gotta be one of the easier things they’ve filmed for this show.

BLANCHE: Whatcha hiding behind your back? ROSE: Nothing. DOROTHY: What smells so awful? ROSE: It’s a new fragrance I’m wearing. DOROTHY: I’m almost sure I don’t have to ask this, but you are aware that toilet water comes in a bottle?

This is not the first time they’ve tried to use one of the Girls moving out to try and give the episode some stakes. This is the first time they’ve ended an “episode” without resolving the matter. These clip shows usually aired as a single, hour-long episode, but the first half usually ends on a mini-cliffhanger to be resolved in the second half. It gives us a glimpse of what the GG writers can do with a little more space -- these glimpses are usually better served in two parters like “Sick and Tired” and “Home Again Rose,” which we’ll get to in later seasons.

First, let’s tackle the framing device. Sophia once again reminds the audience that, while she lives with Dorothy, she has two other children who sometimes need her attention. However, unlike Gloria, who invited Sophia to live with her to give her a luxurious lifestyle, Phil apparently wants Sophia to live with him to help him take care of two of his teenage children. I know Sophia’s a devoted mother, but if she didn’t take the former up on her offer, I think she’d be kidding herself to think she’d go live with the latter.

DOROTHY: Ma, the four of us have lived together for a long time. Now how can you just walk in her and announce that you’re leaving? SOPHIA: Well, Warden, I could make a break for it. But I’m afraid you’d shoot me going over the wall.

Also, I hate to be negative towards Phil, but the things they’ve mentioned about his family thus far paint a weird picture. He and his wife Angela (or “Big Sally” as Sophia calls her) have at least six kids -- though Sophia said ten in an earlier episode -- and live in a trailer despite his wife being a welder who works all day. And Sophia estimates that two of her grandchildren will take at least another ten years to graduate high school, despite them being 14 (and apparently both are on parole and can’t cross state lines), and one of her other grandsons already failed animal grooming school. Though one of her granddaughters did get married earlier in the season, so I suppose it’s not all bad. But seriously, what is going on with Phil and his family?

Moving on to the clips themselves, they appear to be divided up in to three segments ordered by length. The first “segment” is just a clip from the pilot that shows how Sophia came to live at the house following Shady Pines burning down. I realize that, in the macro sense the show doesn’t change much over its seven-year length, as someone who’s looked very closely at every fiber of it, the difference between the pilot and this third-season episode is striking. It also shows how Estelle has progressed from a side character in the show’s earliest iterations to one of the headliners.

The second segment is about how the Girls spend an inordinate amount of time sharing each other’s rooms for various reasons. These include several bedroom skits, including the four of them huddling under Sophia’s electric blanket and Dorothy telling Sophia and Blanche about Jean and Rose. Like the segments themselves, the clips are ordered from shortest to longest, with almost the entire clip from “Bedtime Story” playing out with minimal cuts. I think this is the first time the show has ever gotten “meta,” in the sense that it’s addressing the inordinate amount of musical bedrooms the characters play. It feels like the writers poking fun at themselves for using the device so often.

The third segment is about the kinds of men the Girls have dated . . . or failed to date, as the clip includes two former beaus -- Dirk from “Blanche and the Younger Man” and Frank from “Forgive Me, Father” -- who very notably do not date Blanche and Dorothy respectively. This clip also includes the Men of Blanche’s Boudoir segment, despite that not featuring any of the actual men in the flesh. Actually, now that I think of it, the only clip that features one of the Girls’ boyfriends is from “A Little Romance,” with Dr. Jonathan Newman. And he’s probably one of the only men any of the Girls have dated who I would not call a yutz, though he would fit Blanche’s stated recounting of “a variety of men in our lives.”

I think these clips aren’t necessarily selected for narrative coherence or consistency -- or at least I hope they weren’t because if they were then whoever it was who compiled them failed. I think they were selected for popularity and laugh factor more than anything else. These are likely the moments the studio audience laughed the loudest. I’m fine with that, I just wish they’d strung them together with a little more grace. The “yutz parade” segment could definitely have added a few of the Girls more yutz-y lovers, and it’s not like those were in short supply up to this point. But as far as clip compilations go, it’s fun and a good way to get new viewers caught up on some of the bigger laughs.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode

My favorite line of the framing device:

BLANCHE: Aw, cat food. DOROTHY: Oh Rose, have you been feeding those strays again? ROSE: I can’t help it, Dorothy. I heard them howling and moaning all night. How do you ignore something like that? DOROTHY: I’m getting used to it. You know, my room’s next to Blanche’s.

[talisidekick]

before i reblog your petition, can you answer some genuine questions asked 100% in good faith because, as a lesbian woc, this is always where i draw the line when it comes to white trans people:

do you think it is acceptable for lesbians to refuse to interact with all "amab people" regardless of how those "amab people" identify?

is homosexuality - being solely attracted to your own biological sex - a bad thing or do you support it without exception?

do you think there are any circumstances in which members of the female sex are privileged over the male sex?

To answer in order:

I can't answer this question for you. What you've asked depends on what trauma's you may have, what fears you have that are unresolved, what biases you're carrying because of these trauma's and fears, and how this all affects your perception of trans women. Society teaches a lot of falsities, because it wants to exonerate men, which it sees as anyone who is male, from being responsible human beings. The fact that we've blown open the idea that 'all males are men' and proved it false, means a lot of societal perceptions are false and need to be corrected. I don't know what biases society has taught you, what biases were wielded against you to cause deliberate trauma, and what you were taught to fear that should have been better explained with better wording. What I will say is: you are allowed to have a sexual preference on penises and vaginas; you are allowed to have a gender preference; you need to understand trans men are men, trans women are women, and nonbinary are nonbinary; and you need to find out why you view afab women differently than amab women. You do that, you'll find the answer in time. I'd say you need to talk to more trans men and trans women and listen to their experiences as a starting point. Maybe consult a trans supportive therapist or counselor you trust to work through some concepts you just can't shake as a second step.

I will repeat part of point one: You are allowed a preference on penises and vagina's. The concept of 'same sex' couples and homosexuality was born during a time when gender and sex weren't seen as different concepts, but as one and the same. Transgender women, transgender men, and nonbinary folk are proof sex and gender ARE different concepts that for many commonly align into two easy categories of 'has penis = is man' and 'has vagina = is woman' but isn't a uniform rule. In understanding this division, homosexuality is described as two or more people of the same gender being sexually attracted to each other. Your preference of a penis or a vagina is separate, but may align with the common categorizations explained above. You should, for the sake of yourself and your partner(s), understand this so there's no confusion if for example you prefer vagina, and your partner is fine with penis or vagina. You can both be gay and have different genitalia preferences.

Yes. The privileges of men in current society far out weigh the privileges of women however. There's issues on both sides that deserve addressing and correction, and neither is more important than the other. I do think the focus on eliminating a lot of privileges men have will help with the addressing of the privileges women have over men. The thing to remember is privilege isn't benefits one has the other doesn't, but rather the lack of obstacles one faces compared to another. Women have a lot more obstacles in society socially and professionally than men do, but it's inaccurate to say that men have no obstacles women don't face. This distinction is important because it highlights that society isn't perfect for men or women, but it is significantly better for men. At the end: we've work to do, and I'd rather not continue being paid less than the men in my field, being scared to walk home when it gets dark, or being talked down to or ignored because I'm a woman (so fucking annoying).

Lastly, I'm sorry that your experience with white folk has you being so cautious about me. I see a lot of really horrifying shit white people do and it genuinely pisses me off because what they're doing is making you look at me like I'm sort of threat without ever doing a single thing. It's not your fault you're extremely cautious of white people, it's these shitty ass closed minded bigots dragging the rest of us through the mud. They're ruining the fact that in an ideal world you and I would never even consider the differences in skin colour as an issue in having a conversation. I hope in time, if you haven't already, you'll come to meet some of us with lighter skin that don't share their racism. And I hope that if push comes to shove, you can count on people like me to show up when you need us to. People that listen, and care to actually be of help. White people face a lot less obstacles than people of colour. It's pretty damn fucking apparent. I'd like not to have to struggle less because I'm white, I'd like not to struggle more because I'm a woman, I'd certainly like not to struggle more because I'm trans, and I'd certainly love not to struggle less because I'm able bodied. It should be equal, and the fact it's not is something I hate. People who go out of their way to make someone life hard because of something they can't control, be it skin colour, sexuality, gender identity, you name it, are the absolute worst of us. Fuck bigots.

[elaine4queen]

I’m going to have porridge. I don’t eat as much on Elvanse, obviously, but if I’m having a day off then I deserve a proper breakfast. It’s a risk cooking on the hob. Last time I did it was to make spaghetti and it caused a small fire. You can’t stand over spaghetti, it takes too long, but you do have to change the temperature of the ring a few times to keep it on a rolling boil. At one point I’d put the back ring on full instead of turning the front one a notch down, and I didn’t notice, so the plastic container I’d put there with some food in it melted. The whole flat stank for days and it was really upsetting.

When I saw the first GP he did bloods, and it seems that taking the normal amount of testosterone for a woman had given me rather high readings. He suggested I halve my dose and get bloods again in a month. The thing is that the numbers, while high for a woman, are nowhere near what a man’s would be, and in this day and age of transitioning between genders what if that number was just right for me? 

Hazel did an experiment when she was doing her psychology degree where she measured the testosterone of lesbians on their way into a bar and then as they came out. Their testosterone went up while they were in there. I think about this. I think about what I was doing before I had the bloods done. I’d had a medical appointment where I didn’t feel patronised and did feel heard, and then I’d sat in the park with a friend while I waited for the bloods appointment with the nurse. I wonder what my readings would have been after the encounter with the HRT doctor?

They don’t usually do bloods with women my age - it’s too unreliable because your hormones vary wildly over the course of a day, and, it would seem, sometimes an hour. They do bloods for perimenopausal women because they might have enough of everything. Older women are generally allowed to have a suck it and see approach.

***

I was hoping that having cut the chronic migraine so drastically I could get a jump on my life and have my 40s in my 60s. I’ve been living so badly, really most of my adult life, but particularly the past couple of decades, with the pain, that getting the top layer of it dealt with was encouraging. I’ve now joined Facebook groups about CGRP Antagonists, the formal general name for the drug I’m on and it seems that some people have side effects, but more frighteningly, some people suddenly stop responding to the drug, so anything that trips me back into migraine territory is terrifying. That can happen, for me, when the atmospheric pressure changes, which there isn’t much I can do about, the hormones, which should be under my control but which is only partially, and the TMJ which has been treated recently with deep, painful injections into my jaw muscles, but the treatment is not offered as often as I need it, and the clinic is really random about seeing me. That, I could go privately for. I also get pain in my neck, and it’s flared up recently with the damp. I went to a neurologist because my neck and lower spine cause my fingers and toes to be numb and I was a bit worried about it, and then when I got an appointment I told the consultant that I didn’t want an operation or nerve blockers. He said he could keep the referral open for me so I could phone his clinic directly in the next six months if I changed my mind. I think what I don’t want is to end up like last year, going down to gym once a week and only doing gentle rehab. If a nerve blocker could allow me to power through the winter that’d be a plus.

***

I hope it’s not raining or windy tomorrow. I want to write outside again. I can’t believe the difference it makes. 

I had a terrible night last night. I hoped the migraine could be slept through but when I woke up in the night I decided to take a triptan to see it off. I’ve never had so many constant days of migraine since I started the CGRP I’m on and I’m frightened in case it’s stopped working. I actually blame having come off testosterone and I’d resolved to book an appointment with the GP in the morning, but when I woke up in the night, with reduced brainpower I reached for the dosette box instead of the sumatriptan and took all my night meds again and when the alarm went off I managed to get the site up, but sat and stared at the options so long they all disappeared. I’m a total zombie this morning and the only good thing is that Lola has Rooddogs so I don’t have to walk her. 

I feel like writing about my ailments like this has to be boring to read, but if I’m going to write honestly about my reality it’s a fact that I both rely on meds and have problems with them.

Yesterday went well, though, despite my temper. Various things happened that made me feel like things were finally cracking on in general. The tree guy turned up to look at the rogue poplar in my garden, and this is an outsourced contractor so it’s finally going to be dealt with. We both said we didn’t like killing things, but this tree is massive and is only going to get bigger if left, and it was planted right next to the listed bungeroosh garden wall, and has already taken some of the concrete cladding off the outside of it with its roots. Given time it’d take the whole wall down. Someone from my housing association rang, as well, to sort out the saga of the leak. Tomorrow afternoon a surveyor will come, and they will follow the whole process all the way through from the leak to the making good. Matt texted while I was doing yoga, and he says he’ll look at my broken tumble drier. There aren’t many more line drying days left now.

I’ll miss the tree even though it’s a thug. It’s my view from my bed and it shows me what’s going on with the wind, and when it’s a sunny morning I get dappled sunlight because of it, which is very pretty.

[pearlgisa]

badhaai do: how some of us from the queer community missed its point

I've been back after 9213049 years to announce that y'all MUST watch Badhaai Do, it's literally the most beautiful form of queer representation I've seen. another thing, ignore those who say there are zero queer people involved.

a few spoilers ahead, so please watch the movie before reading this :))

1. the script consultant is queer.

2. the people in the pride parade (which had the unfortunate straight flag in the trailer) were queer. I saw plenty of instagram stories by those in there, posting about it, and checked out their profiles. if they didn't spot it, that means not all queer people keep up with news that makes them sad lol.

3. the girl who hands the mask to Shardul was his sister-in-law, also queer.

4. we also don't know for sure whether there aren't any other queer people involved in the making, so let's not just assume that only the hets were a part of this.

and check out the interviews by the crew - they have mentioned more than once that they showed this film to a LOT of queer people, showed the script to a lot of queer people too. the script consultant recently mentioned just how far the writers and directors went to keep it as sincere as possible. that doesn't sound like "rainbow capitalism to me". that doesn't sound like capitalizing off queer suffering.

i, for one, can see some sincere and genuine effort put in by people who are not even gay. we got a pride anthem, some solid gay-lesbian solidarity (#sumiandshardulbesties5ever), realistic queer romance, and several milestones in Indian cinema too, I think (I do not recall a blood test being portrayed as sensual in bollywood before OH MY GOD). i remember tearing up at sumi's father destroying her (and me) with the singular line: "mere ghar me hi kyu?" (why does it have to be at my home AKA why does it have to be my daughter?). i remember the joy of seeing a pride parade and my date bawling like a child watching sumi and rhimjhim run underneath the rainbow. i had to watch it more than once to fully understand the little details and the subtleties of the characters. some of my favourites are:

1. rhimjhim blowing kisses at shardul during the pride (hints at the start of the second half, when shardul blows her kisses)

2. guru giving such a fruity kick to shardul it melts my heart dkjsfji

3. not all members of the family are present in the last scene. taiji and sumi's mother are absent, another unnamed aunt, shardul's nieces, etc. but we see her brother, who was the one who called her a "pervert". character growth there and we dont need to get into how it happened. this is not about them, after all.

5. sumi wearing the red glasses to not let shardul's coworkers find out that she's a part of the parade.

6. the walkie-talkie during the scene with shardul's superior and his wife visiting them for tea is blaring about loud, barking dogs and the dialogues SEND ME.

7. kabir's text messages. you really need to pause to read them but they're so sus (i think he might be cheating? idk)

basically, it ages like an evergreen forest.

i didn't expect to walk into the theatre to watch an arthouse, indie film. at its core, what badhaai do has achieved is something phenomenal - it has retained what defines a bollywood movie while simultaneously portraying queer relationships as something not extraordinary or reserved for the "woke" segments of society. the characters aren't just their sexualities and sumi says it herself: "hissa hain, puri zindagi kaha hain." (trans: it's just a part of us, not our entire life.) shardul slaps his lover, kabir is an asshole, sumi decimates her partner's career, rhimjhim makes assumptions on shardul's sexuality, etc. it is bad enough that i have to sit through homophobes calling this as a disgusting film filled with obscene scenes, giving their low-iq opinions on why it's wrong. now i have to sit through seasoned, jaded queer individuals like me, give some of the worst reasons to cancel a film and call it problematic?

The characters are not pinnacles of perfection and I'm here for it. I don't want a cardboard vincian protagonist. some

of the reviewers clearly don't understand what nuance is and I'm okay with that. some of us who have grateful access to resources and inner pride meetings forget that there are those still in closet, those who still don't know that gender is a social construct. that we still live in a country which has some of the most homophobic outlooks. sure, homophobia was a concept popularized by the British, but are we really going to forget that there are scriptures dated BC that have specific laws for punishing lesbians? homophobia has been as rooted in our culture as the urge to search for a suitable groom for a girl the minute she comes of age (the number may change with each passing century, but does it really matter?).

those that go as far as the city's outskirts for a chance to live a life free from the heteronormative eye. there are also those who want a child as their own. what's so heteronormative about that? what's so heteronormative about wanting to be a mother? are we seriously going to nitpick on the littlest things? and let us not forget that guru isn't at all interested in the child. he states this himself and is hesitant to join Shardul until he is told that it is just to be by his side. the ending is not meant to be perfect. heck, I would go as far as to say that the true ending was when it was just Sumi and Shardul with the child. perhaps the filmmakers wanted to offer us a happy ending, or at least, a bittersweet one. and i will quote the director from his interview with PeepingMoon: "they never really come out of the closet. instead, the closet just gets bigger."

this is coming from someone still in the closet, living in a somewhat conservative society and still grasping with their own gender identity. my closet keeps getting bigger, with the recent addition of my mother to it. watching this movie encouraged me to come out to her and my mother to give some of most supportive words a queer child can hear. and for that, i cannot thank Badhaai Do and its makers enough for it.

[arttuff]

Okay, so I've wanted to get top surgery for years, but I have no idea how to get it started? Do you just like, call up your doctor and be like "hey can you cut off my tits thx?" How did you get started? (And how much did it cost...) Hope this isn't too personal, thanks.

this is gonna be real informal cuz im just some dude im not a professional

here’s a super basic overview of how I went about it :) let me know if you have any questions anon! I’ll be happy to take a stab at answering

disclaimer is i live in australia so this is probably very specific to australia but if it helps, medicare (our public healthcare) didnt cover much except a couple hundred off the anaesthetist’s fee (but i wont include that in my estimate ily americans)

also this is just how i did it im sure everyone goes about it differently

but my first step was hrt (you dont need to go on hrt for top surgery but if you do it's recommended 6 months on testosterone before you get the surgery so you can get pecs goin beforehand and have more natural looking results. my pecs were juicy as hell by the time i got top surgery, so much so that my mum was surprised lol truly living up to my artstyle)

to do that i had to get a letter from my psychiatrist (this was covered by medicare) saying that i have a documented history of gender dysphoria and am mentally sane enough to seek treatment for it (this is just because of my medical history im pretty sure that not everyone has to do that plus you can look into informed consent)

with that letter of gender confirmation in your hot little hand you can then google around to find who it is you want to be doing your top surgery! i am so insanely lucky that i live in the biggest city in my country, meaning i had some good options. i settled on an award winning plastic/cosmetic surgeon that specialises in gender reassignment-- i love his results, and im so glad i went with him everything looks better than i expected it's so worth it!!!!

anyway once you choose a doctor you ring up and ask for a consultation-- this is not bulk billed but medicare can rebate a bit i think

thanks to covid all of the openings for consultations were full so i rang back once a week for 6 months (oh my god that's obsessive as fuck now that i put it together) until they had an opening

at the consultation you pretty much talk to your doc to let them know what you want, your identity, etc. im a nonbinary butch lesbian and i wanted some pecs but no nipple reconstruction (no nips no worries mate xx) and he made sure i was certain that's what i wanted and that i know the risks associated

the doc gives you an estimation and you decide whether you want to go through the public system (i think this is australia specific) and get put on a waiting list for 3+ years depending on demand, or do it privately (medicare, which everyone has, plust any private healthcare-- i have none)

i decided to go private because i do not think i could handle that wait, and ended up just being able to make it through with overtime at work heehee :) but good lord my wallet is starving

the cost is split up 3 ways between the doctor’s fees, the anaesthetist’s fees, and the hospital fees. there’s more expenses if you stay overnight at the hospital, so it’s better if you have someone to take you home and look after you

so all up i saved money in 2 places: the surgery itself was shorter because there was no nipple reconstruction, and i didn’t stay overnight so i didn’t have to pay that massive amount

all up my cost of surgery was around $11 000 aud (which is around usd $7 600) and the estimate he gave me was $14 000 aud ($9 600 usd) 

that’s a vague and rambly overview! let me know if there’s anything you’re confused about anon! or if there’s any questions you have about top surgery recovery etc :) remember i can only give my perspective from how it’s done in australia I’m sure it’s way different elsewhere in the world

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

[INSTAGRAM]

♡ 602 likes

y/n Humph!

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Cheryl busy being my own icon

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"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Nineteen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: another chapter where the girls are clowns and cassian worships nesta's every breath 🙄 i promise some variety is headed your way soon

***

Gwyn adamantly refuses to accept any gifts for her birthday, much to Emerie’s irritation and Nesta’s relief. No amount of love for her friends can make Nesta enjoy the turmoil of hunting for the perfect gift, and she happily shows up at Gwyn’s apartment that night with nothing save for an overnight bag.

Gwyn easily has the nicest home out of all three of the girls, and it makes Nesta feel oddly proud to have a financially stable friend. Nesta herself has been flacking on her legal consultant duties to Night Court Inc., choosing to make do with the money she’s already earned while focusing on school.

Once they’ve all changed into sleep clothes and are settled around the living room coffee table with a cupcake and a glass of wine each, Gwyn pulls out a brightly colored bracelet-making kit with a sheepish grin. “I found this while I was looking through my childhood things,” she says, opening the kit. “You guys aren’t too grown for it, are you?”

“Depends,” Emerie hums, leaning over to get a closer look. “Is it Rainbow Loom?”

She gets her answer when Gwyn dumps out bundles of multicolored string instead of rubber bands onto the table. Looking disappointed, Emerie plucks up a handful of string. “Fine, I guess I can make do.”

Nesta licks cream cheese frosting off her thumb. “How do you make them? The bracelets?”

She’s met with two dumbfounded stares. “Have you never been to a thirteen year old’s slumber party?” Gwyn says.

“...No?”

When Gwyn and Emerie keep staring, Nesta feels the need to add, “I’ve never been to a sleepover. This is my first.” She was never one to be invited to sleepovers or social gatherings; even when she made acquaintances in middle and high school, they were just that—acquaintances.

“That’s… actually kind of sad,” Emerie says. Gwyn elbows her hard, making her yelp.

“I never thought of it that way,” Nesta says, shrugging. Though maybe it’s because a lot of things about her childhood were sad; it isn’t like she kept count of it all.

“Well, you can learn how to make bracelets now,” Gwyn states, taking out a little plastic baggie and emptying it out onto the table. Small silver charms scatter everywhere. “Everyone gets three colors and one charm.”

Nesta leans forward, making out the different charms. She spies one in the shape of a book, and another in the shape of a dove, and one in the shape of a music note. She snatches up the eighth note before anyone else can. Gwyn takes the book for herself, and Emerie considers the selection of charms before picking a dagger-shaped one. They prepare their string next.

“Now, we can either braid them or knot them.” Gwyn demonstrates how to do it either way, Nesta watching closely before imitating her. She braids the strings of her bracelet as best she can, her cheeks turning red with frustration whenever she spies one of the other girls’ perfect knots. Her half-eaten cupcake is forgotten as she tries to get her bracelet to stay together.

At one point she just has to accept the shoddy work she’s done and tie the bracelet off. She checks to see if it fits on her wrist.

“Now everyone give their bracelet to the person on their left,” Gwyn declares.

Nesta clutches her sloppily-made bracelet to her chest as Emerie responds, “What?”

“So we can wear each other’s bracelets,” Gwyn explains. “And carry around a part of each other all the time.”

“If I had known we were gonna be sentimental, I wouldn’t have picked the cute charm,” Emerie grumbles. Nesta agrees, but Gwyn just clicks her tongue and starts switching bracelets around. In the end, Nesta has Emerie’s dagger bracelet, Gwyn has Nesta’s music note bracelet, and Emerie has Gwyn’s book charm.

Nesta wiggles her bracelet on and turns her wrist over in the light. “That was fun,” she decides. “What happens next at a sleepover?”

“Next,” Gwyn says, “we exchange our most embarrassing secrets with each other, and then we do each other’s hair.”

Emerie shakes her head. “Okay, now I’m really too old for this. Anyone want to watch a movie?”

Gwyn nudges Emerie. “I’m the old one here, and it’s my birthday.” She raises her pert chin in a way that doesn’t look very grown up at all. “What I say goes.”

Emerie flicks up an eyebrow and stares in challenge, which Nesta interrupts by saying, rather exasperatedly, “I’ll go first, then.”

She digs around in her head for something embarrassing enough to be socially acceptable, only to realize that although a lot of embarrassing things have happened to her before, none of them are secrets. She finally settles on an admission. “When I was a kid, I had a thing for breaking and entering into rich people’s empty houses and hanging out in them. Does that count as a secret?”

Gwyn gapes, laughing in disbelief. “Are you going to leave it at that?”

“That actually sounds fun.” Emerie swirls her wine. “Why’d you stop?”

Nesta had almost forgotten. “I got caught.” She remembers the terror of being fourteen and fleeing past cherry blossom trees on her bare feet. “The owner’s family showed up early to vacation one year, and I never risked going back after that.” She shrugs. “Who’s next?”

Gwyn raises her hand excitedly. “I used to be a hardcore Gleek. Like, I had a closet full of Glee memorabilia.”

Nesta doesn’t quite know what to say. Emerie winces. “Maybe you should’ve kept that one a secret.”

“It was only one facet of my entire theatre kid personality. Should I tell you about the rest?”

Emerie raises her hands in surrender. “Please don’t. I’ll go next if it makes you stop.”

Gwyn laughs and Nesta perks up. “What’s your secret?” She hopes Emerie will finally admit to filling their shared Kindle account with lesbian spanking fiction.

But Emerie suddenly gets serious, clearing her throat and fingering the stem of her wine glass. “I might have the worst secret,” she says awkwardly. “I haven’t been honest with you guys.”

Nesta straightens, and Gwyn looks intrigued.

“In my defense,” Emerie says, “I never expected all of us to end up hanging out this much. Before Nesta and I became friends, all I did was show up to school to kick rich kids’ asses and make career connections.”

“Spit it out, Emerie,” Nesta tells her.

So she does. “I’ve been lying about my age.” Her cheeks turn red, either from alcohol or embarrassment, Nesta doesn’t know.

Nesta furrows her brows. “You’re not twenty-four?”

Emerie shakes her head in guilt.

“How old are you, then?” Gwyn says.

Emerie mutters something too low for them to hear. When Gwyn tells her to repeat herself, she says, too loudly, “Twenty-eight.”

She’s met with silence, and then—

Gwyn starts cackling, nearly keeling over. Nesta can only stare in shock. “Why would you—?”

“Because school is a shark tank,” Emerie says. “Everyone else went there straight out of undergrad, and I had to work four jobs for four years just to afford tuition. Being old at Prythian means being poor.” She quietens, looking down at her brown hands twisted together. “And by the time we started to get close, it felt too weird to bring up. So… I’m sorry?” She looks up to see if Nesta is upset.

Nesta doesn’t know what to feel, but Gwyn seems to. “You called me old,” she accuses. “You’re nearly a grandma!”

“Were you going to lie about your age forever?” Nesta interjects.

“If I had known there was going to be a forever, I would have opened up a lot sooner,” Emerie defends.

Nesta drops her head onto the table and covers her ears with her arms. “This is so weird,” she says against the wood of the table, her voice muffled. “I can never look at you the same way ever again.”

“That’s fair,” Emerie says cautiously. “But are you really mad?” Nesta feels a hesitant hand touch her shoulder.

“I need time to process,” Nesta says from her cocoon. Suddenly she hears a hum and a click, and her cocoon gets even darker. Gwyn and Emerie make twin sounds of surprise.

Poking her head up, Nesta blinks to find total darkness in the apartment. The heater has stopped running, leaving behind a quiet stillness.

“Shit,” Gwyn curses, fumbling with her phone. The flashlight turns on, lighting up her face. “I swear I paid my electric bill.”

“I don’t think it’s just you,” Emerie says, getting up to look out the window. “Look, the whole street is out.”

By the time they gather some candles and light them, the apartment has dropped twenty degrees in temperature. Nesta shudders, wishing she’d brought some warm pants with her.

“Let me get us some blankets,” Gwyn says, running off to the linen closet. Emerie and Nesta huddle together on the couch while they wait.

“So you’re really not mad at me?” Emerie asks, hope in her voice.

“Not mad,” Nesta says. “But I think we all lost a little respect for you back there.”

Emerie smiles. “Just a little?”

Gwyn comes back then wearing a thick sweater and carrying a pile of comforters. “I got a text from the landlord,” she says, unceremoniously dropping the blankets onto the couch. “Ice took out the power lines in the whole neighborhood, and we’re not getting any electricity until morning.”

“But it’s negative temperatures outside,” Nesta protests. “We’ll freeze to death.”

“Not if we all cuddle.” Gwyn tries to beam at them, but the effort is futile. “I’m sorry, guys,” she sighs, plopping onto the couch beside Nesta. “This is a terrible birthday celebration.”

Nesta wraps an arm around Gwyn and tucks her into her side, soaking up her warmth as Emerie spreads a heavy comforter over all of their legs. “What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong.”

The girls sit in silence for a few minutes until Emerie speaks up. “I wonder what Mr. Madani is doing right now.”

“What?” Nesta frowns.

“He’s probably all alone in his fancy heated cabin, unaware that you’re stuck in the cold dark.” Emerie suddenly smacks Nesta’s arm. “Hey. Why are we freezing our asses off here when you practically own that cabin?”

“I do not practically own that cabin,” Nesta splutters. “And this is Gwyn’s birthday. Why would I take you to Cassian’s place on her birthday?”

“Exactly!” Emerie says. “It’s Gwyn’s birthday, and she deserves better than this. Can’t your boyfriend be a little charitable and share his nice house with us?”

Nesta turns to Gwyn for help, but Gwyn just says carefully, “...Is it a big cabin?”

Emerie nods fiercely, pulling out her phone. “Eris has a picture of it from New Year’s on his Instagram. You wouldn’t believe how much money these Night Court execs make.”

Nesta makes pointed eyes at Gwyn. “You really want to spend your birthday with two strange men?” Cassian and Azriel aren’t exactly meek, nonthreatening men either—at least not at first glance. Considering the state Gwyn was in just some weeks ago, this doesn’t sound like a good idea at all.

Gwyn sounds wary but open-minded when she says, “You trust them, right? And it’s not like we’re going to let the guys join our sleepover. We’re just going to have a warm place to stay while we wait for my power to come back.”

When it’s phrased like that… Nesta purses her lips, thinking.

“Fine,” she finally decides. “Let’s go.”

***

Nesta strips off her jeans almost as soon as she enters the cabin. Much to Cassian’s pride and pleasure, this leaves her wearing only one of his old sweatshirts. Meanwhile, Gwyn and Emerie stand around awkwardly in the middle of the living area without knowing what to do next.

“Make yourselves at home.” Cassian grins at them. “Do you need anything? Food? Drinks?”

“Stop worrying,” Nesta groans. “We don’t need to be mothered.”

“I totally hear you,” he nods. “I’ll make cookies.” And maybe some hot drinks. It’s supposed to be a birthday party, after all.

Just then, Azriel appears at the top of the stairs in a dark hoodie and sweats. He’s halfway down the steps when he notices the living room full of girls and promptly turns around.

Cassian calls his name before he can escape. “Want to help me out in the kitchen?”

“No, thanks,” Az says over his shoulder, leaving Cassian alone to play host.

While Gwyn and Emerie admire the cabin (“There’s a gym down the hallway and a library upstairs,” Nesta points out to them), Cassian gathers baking ingredients in the kitchen. He rarely eats desserts or junk food, much less makes them, but surely he can manage a snack for the girls.

When he returns to the living room half an hour later with cookies and mugs of hot chocolate, the coffee table has been moved out of the way and replaced with a spread of blankets and pillows. The fire crackles hotly enough that Gwyn and Emerie have joined Nesta in discarding any extra clothing articles, and they all cheer from the couch when they spy the food.

“Goddamn,” Emerie whistles at the platter of cookies on Nesta’s lap. “Nesta told us you were a catch, Mr. Madani, but she didn’t tell us she got the full housewife package.”

“Shut up.” Nesta shoves a cookie into Emerie’s mouth and passes Gwyn some hot chocolate. Any toughness vanishes when she looks back at Cassian. “Thank you,” she mouths, and he answers by smoothing out her ponytail.

Satisfied with his work and feeling guilty for crashing the girls’ fun, he’s about to call it a night when he feels a tug at his pants. Nesta is looking up at him with eyes that ask him to stay. Cassian glances nervously to Gwyn and Emerie, who are arguing about what movie to watch from his extensive streaming collection, and glances back to Nesta. Are you sure? he asks her silently.

She nods, but it isn’t until Gwyn says, “Just sit down, you’re blocking the TV,” that he indeed sits his ass down on the floor by Nesta’s feet.

A short tug of war between Gwyn and Emerie results in Emerie getting the remote. She blows a hair triumphantly out of her face. “No Planet Earth documentary for you, then,” she says.

Gwyn sits back, grumbling, “You’d think I’d get treated better on my damn birthday.” Nesta adds, “I like documentaries.”

“You’ll like The Proposal even more,” Emerie refutes, scrolling through the TV.

The smell of melting chocolate chips must invade the rest of the cabin, because not long after the movie begins, Cassian catches Azriel sneaking downstairs. As subtle as a shadow, no one even notices him until he plucks up a cookie from the side table by Nesta.

She slides her eyes over to him without turning her head. “You look like a punk with your hood up,” she snorts. “What are you, fifteen?”

From the floor, Cassian withholds a sigh.

Az shoots her a dark look, clearly not appreciating the attention brought to his presence. “Don’t be a little shit,” he warns in a low tone. He reaches for another cookie and Nesta bats his hand away. “Those aren’t for you,” she hisses.

“Can we please not—” Cassian tries.

Az glares and goes for the cookie again. Nesta smacks him back, which results in a slap fight that is only interrupted by Gwyn pleading, “Guys, we’re missing Sandra Bullock!”

Nesta pulls away, looking apologetic, and Az flushes pink. “Sorry,” he mutters. But he snatches up three cookies with a final look at Nesta and goes to sit in the armchair on the other side of the room.

Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie get cozy once more, quickly forgetting that Az is there. Emerie stretches her brown legs out across Gwyn’s lap like a cat. Nesta drapes her own leg over Cassian’s shoulder without warning. He turns around to meet her eyes, surprised, but she’s already intently focused on the movie. Smiling faintly to himself, he reaches up to brush her skin. It probably looks to everyone else like she owns him head to toe.

One thing Cassian quickly learns about the girls is that they simply can’t sit still. Even Nesta is more restless than usual, and she nearly kicks Cassian in the head more than once while readjusting herself on the couch. Emerie moves to sprawl on the rug. Gwyn sits upside down and watches with her head dangling off the seat.

As for Cassian, he loses all interest in the movie once Nesta joins him and Emerie on the floor, unable to contain her emotions from the couch. He glances between the movie and her face to find what’s making her so giddy, but it’s only the two main characters getting ready for a shower. He lifts a brow in amusement for no one to see, but settles back to watch her face in the glow of the dying fire. He’s waiting for her smile.

Because when Nesta really likes something, she’ll smile, and when she smiles… Everything scrunches up: her nose, her eyes, her cheeks.

On the TV, a naked Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock collide into each other, toppling to the floor. Nesta’s grin makes an appearance, and she slaps Cassian’s thigh in excitement, hard enough to hurt.

He hisses in a sharp breath, but doesn’t say anything or look away. He thinks he might have to kill anyone that refuses to protect the smile on her face right now, no matter who it is.

Once the scene changes, he walks two fingers up her leg to get her attention. “Nesta,” he whispers, unable to help himself.

She glances at him for half a second before looking back to the movie. “What?”

He opens his arms and gestures her closer. Come and let me hold you.

Nesta makes a face. “Don’t embarrass me in front of the girls.”

Cassian’s lips turn down. “You don’t mean that.”

She does. To prove her point, she crawls closer to Emerie and settles down next to her. Gwyn joins them on the floor, and they all huddle together.

When he catches Az staring at him with a hint of revulsion, Cassian coughs off the yearning and rejection and glares right back.

After the movie finishes, Emerie victoriously crushes an empty can of beer in her fist. Cassian has no idea where it came from. “More Sandra!” she demands.

It takes three more movies before Emerie is knocked out cold on the arrangement of blankets and pillows on the floor, Gwyn with her. Nesta eventually came back to Cassian and fell asleep with her arms wrapped around his waist, and Azriel passed out sometime after Miss Congeniality, curled up in the armchair with his fist propping up his head.

Now, Cassian carefully untangles Nesta from himself, nudging her towards Emerie instead. In her sleep, Nesta turns over to clutch the other woman’s arm and mumbles something unintelligible.

Cassian props a pillow gently beneath her head and picks up another one, throwing it harder than he needs to at Azriel’s face. “Get up,” he hisses.

Az jerks out of his sleep, looking around the dim room in confusion. Cursing lowly, he pushes himself out of his seat and scrubs a hand through his hair. “What time is it?”

“Three.” Cassian pulls a comforter over Nesta and Emerie’s shoulders.

Az crouches and picks up the other side of the comforter, adjusting it over Gwyn’s body. Cassian thinks he might see a frown cross his face for half a second, but then Az is standing up and brushing off his clothes.

After turning off the TV, the guys head for their rooms. “I didn’t think three grown women could be so... much,” Az says as they climb up the stairs.

Cassian huffs a laugh. “We were like that when we were younger, too.”

“Yeah, but we were teenagers.”

They reach the hallway. “I don’t know about the others,” Cassian says thoughtfully, “but Nesta never got to be a normal kid.” She barely got to be a normal adult. And in a couple of short years, she’ll be working her ass off at some prestigious firm and won’t have time for simple things like sleepovers anymore.

Cassian selfishly hopes he can give Nesta all the normalcy he can before that happens.

***

a/n: i’m gonna do my best in future chapters to give cassian depth beyond just his relationship with nesta 🥴 but first, be on the lookout for a gwynriel bonus scene :)

tags: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara9 @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad

[floatingbook]

So first hearing ideas for separatism I was like “yeah sure let women have their communes and whatever”

Then it was “I wonder what it would be like to only be around women”

And now I can’t stop thinking about it

Do you have any sources you recommend to read?

Any suggestions for how to start?

Well, first of all kudos to you anon, for being open to new ideas ;)

When it comes to reading theory, here you can find sources on solo-living, here some pieces to check out on separatism, here some pertaining to (fictional) lesbians in women-only spaces, and here some for “women who've decided against marrying just to have someone around“. I also encourage you to scroll through my separatism tag, as well as going through @sustainableseparatists’ blog, and that of any willing proponent of separatism who will make herself known on this post.

When it comes to suggestions on how to start, remember that technically any female-only gathering falls under separatism. Setting up a regular meeting with your female friends, or getting a hobby-related group off the ground (or joining an already established one) both qualify. So do privileging female artists, authors or journalists for your media consumption, or choosing women when you need to consult a doctor, or just choosing to interact with female professionals over male ones. This post gives you a few good first stepping stones. Your guide should be decentering men and centering women instead.