#i think i messed up his head but idk how to change it AAAAA

[lonely-dog-draws]

movie so beautiful i was possessed to draw a random shot from it... i love the strong shadows and the tension.

[wanderingmoonmen]

Hi! I just wanted to come here and gush about how much I love your half doomed and semi sweet series real quick! I binged it all in two days and you guys have done such a good work on it. I honestly think the first installment is probably one of my favorite pieces of fanfic ever just due to how great the mix of character interaction and action is within the fic. I also just adore how Mary is handled with James and how he realizes that Mary wouldn’t say a lot of the stuff his hallucinations are saying but also it’s still overwhelming and hurts despite this! I’ve also been enjoying the lot more day to day ness of the sequel fic too, where issues still come up but it’s also not, running from monsters all the time (unless those monsters are silent hill remnants/bad thoughts, sorry James!).

I don’t know if it’s ever detailed anywhere, but what exactly inspired you to write the sequel fic if you don’t mind me asking?

aaaaa this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit because I saw the nice words and it makes me melt into a puddle and I want to take time to properly answer your question. Thank you ❤️

I ended up writing way too much in my answer so the tldr; I have way too many thoughts and ideas and with @fly-rye 's encouragement and participation we're now in a place where there's a whole timeline and already drafted events still out there to do.

My ramblings and more detailed explanation under the cut

I think in the preface to Promise, or somewhere, I've said that literally all of this started as a joke. I'm also going to keep to my guns of coming up with it back in 2018 (albeit a joke that I kept to myself lmao). I had sort of kept my 'joke' meeting in some sort of filing cabinet in my mind. And honestly if @fly-rye wasn't a super cool and amazing friend and didn't indulge my bullshit we wouldn't be here (also I'm pretty sure that DBD audio of Leon sounding very......... y'know affected it too. I also started a playthrough of RE4 on Oculus at the same time. Also also this literally started I swear a couple months before remakes were formally announced.) ANYWAY this isn't an answer to your question, I just like rambling.

Now that sort of plays into what inspired the sequel, I think I am a 'too many thoughts head full' type of person and just have too much to say sometimes (and perhaps also too much imagination). I also like trying to explain things so the in-fiction lore makes sense (like... extensively thinking about how to actually for real explain how James got to Spain or What Is The Scientific Explanation For Silent Hill etc etc. I just like to make things Work in my head, idk how to explain it).

When Promise turned into a project, there was more serious thought into how their relationship worked and how to explain Leon's character changes in future media. Then it was a thought of 'how could things be better for the both of them?' Or 'what if they were allowed to heal and grow as people' and whatever else that can be narratively satisfying about seeing hurt people finding each other and helping each other.

Then that turns into 'let's put that thing into a situation.'

Which, of course, there are A Lot Of Situations considering Leon has... 4 movies and 1 game he's in after RE4.

There's also the interest of exploring the mechanics of Silent Hill and exploring how SH3/SH4 can become entangled with the mess.

There's then the flip side of the domestic life and living as """""normal"""""" people.

So to fill the gaps between Situations we've brainstormed a Lot of timeline stuff and certain relationship beats that should occur (yknow like their gay wedding, spoilers). I'm also trying to show how James integrates with the rest of the RE crew and with Harry and Heather.

So... Basically I've thought... a lot about how to make their ship and this universe integrate into all the canon events and have some random drafts for it (of course much credit goes to @fly-rye to a) indulging me b) getting sucked into this c) being super supportive d) brainstorming the Situations with me) because there's just so much potential!!

Now, this is kinda where I get stuck and why there hasn't been more posted, if you're wondering

I like to be thorough and in my head I think I need to explain and show character development in detail because, again, in my head, I think it'll then be viewed as 'bad' or idk, 'not well written' or 'not making sense' (as if any of this makes sense). So I feel like I need to show how these relationships develop so it's more convincing or whatever. I think about how some media is panned or criticized for bad relationship writing, ie 'we've been best friends for 10 years and he really helped me out, right bob?" Like who says that.

So in starting PE I wanted to try and thoroughly and logically explain how we get to the current point.

Obviously this is also literally fanfic and [insert meme here] it's my AU and I can do what I want [just tell you This Is How It Is]

But... I'm not great at writing fluff or character interaction stuff just for the sole purpose of development. I thrive on hurt/comfort and angst stuff (if that wasn't obvious) whereas trying to come up with story beats for a beach trip or something is much more difficult for me. So I've struggled to move forward because it's just not my forte and it takes practice and patience...

Unfortunately, I can be rather impatient.

It's really annoying when you're trying to be thorough! So even when I've got a plan, I just get annoyed with my writing because I just wanna get to the good stuff!!! Why can't I write this out faster!!!! I need to beam my thoughts into a document!!!

I keep on feeling like I'm making empty promises, but I do really wanna keep writing and posting. I am trying and I think about sitting down and writing a lot, but between all those other hangups and not having time, I just haven't.

I know a lot of this isn't exactly what you asked, but I hope it answers your question and then some. Thank you again for reaching out it means a lot to hear from readers!!!

[fantasiac]

Flashfire Info Dump

So when I was 11 - 13 I came up with this superhero concept, and I changed the story alot over the years and it's basically become unrecognizable, but I have 3 seasons worth of lore written (It was planned to be a TV show on cartoon network) and alot of it is really good, so I've decided to turn it into a Sakuga Anime / Manga, since I think I would fit the style more, anyway I remembered it existed the other night while I was listening to my JRock playlist, and (idk if this is normal or not so I'm about to word this like it's a unique thing) when I listen to JRock I basically make up Anime Intros in my head, and I used to do it alot with this guy, but to those cringey motivational rock songs, like Zayde Wolf and The Score, but seeing as he isn't really going to a be an American style superhero anymore, I am going to redesign him, he's going to look kinda like a mix between Izuku from My Hero (general proportions and face style), and Shizuka from Zom 100 (big jacket and backpack), so, seeing as this design is not going to be used anymore, I thought I'd post it bc I don't need to worry about people stealing it as much :)

Keep Reading for other character designs I may never use, also these designs are BAD (I'll probably change most of the names, so don't get too attached

Spoiler Warning (?)

So in my clear folder where I stored these drawings, I had tabs, for "good guys", "gods", and "Villains", but I might cut the entire concept of Gods out because they aren't even mentioned in any of the story (except Heratiss but they are less God than Phariah, it's hard to explain), I just wanted to include them because I liked designing them

Little more about the main guy (his casual design is so boring omg)

Definitely going to change this guys name, but one of the better designs

there are aliens, but they will probably be heavily redesigned, also you can probably see the skill gap in my art between Erion and Krast

Heratiss (awful name) has a big role in the story, and Deepsea (bad name aswell) has a neat design, but the design doesn't fit what his character is supposed to be (also he may be cut entirely because you can probably guess his whole concept)

I didn't know how to draw women at the time, but she will probably have the biggest design change. Because her design is awful and I was half asleep when I drew it and never changed it but she has a huge part of the story and I hate this design so much omg

I hate this one so much, bad weapon design, bad character design, bad name, bad concept aaaaa

Anyway, there are more characters, but they weren't in the "current design" clear folder, over the 4 years of this mess I had already redesigned characters way too much, to the point where I had a second clear file full of "yet to be redesigned" but thats for another time

Also when I was drawing these characters, I didn't know what concept art was, so I literally made up their designs in one go, instead of doing sketches and trying things that didn't work, I just drew them without thinking (I learned from that experience)

[stay-midnight]

hello hello!

. . . 🎙

i mean-pquwbzkwiw its long and all that so understandable 🤧 just delete it or something then-? HAHA- i don't want my asks to be too bothersome y'know so do what u gotta😎💕 (also fr justice for snowswept tails and divine amusement eventually!)

Anyways-Changbin ficc ! ! ! Idk if it's right or not but what I noticed most about the change in writing style is like, its more descriptive? Describing the atmosphere or the background and all that- its nice ! And Changbin is so romantic in it 🤧🤧🤧 Also-soft dom smut is a nice change of pace for suree (cause we all know-) pretty good overall as well!

also also! the college au skz 🤧🤧 THE FACT THAT ALL OF THEM HAS SPECIALTIES LIKE- (i would very much like to be madaldal about perv jisung and just perv skz in general so sorry about that in advance /hj)

ahhh the prisoner seungmin and incubus jeongin random thoughts (i was actually thinking of asking if just random thoughts was okay to send instead of the fic talk-)

hushed sex with prisoner seungmin oml-he'd probably be whispering the nastiest stuff as he shuts you up with his big hand i-certainly a setting that's new for thoughts 👀

the incubus jeongin one i haven't read it but imagining it is-🤐🤐🤐 (if we're specialties now then blindfolds with incubus jeongin for that one-would want you to be so addicted to him that you didn't even need to see him doing the things he'd do-more pleasure to feed on ofc!)

shorter ask than usual-(a miracle honestly-) anyways, that its for nowww 💅💕

good evening anonnie!

boop!

I dont wanna delete it 😭 cuz idk ill keep it in my inbox for awhile— its not bothersome but I just feel bad cuz you put the effort into those asks 😭 (frfr hopefully those fics will turn into full fics someday)

Yes? In a way— trying different styles in writing because of purposes and researching stuff as well cuz yall deserve the best content hmph 😤 I also tried to play with words a bit as an experiment and yeah— I started getting into the more softer side with the new fics idk why(?) did 10 months affect my libido or something-I love romantic changbin sm! And up next, lee know and bin fic! hmmm i have a general idea in mind but not a clear plot point

YES, like college au skz has a hold on me depending on how its delivered but thats just some of my ideas and yours in the specialities! (oh yes, perv jisung is literally 😫🫣 cuz idk Ive fallen for that jisung trope like? newnwnwis)

Yea! Random thoughts are okay cuz they give me burst of ideas driven by thoughts—

Seee? cuz like Prisoner Seungmin is so unexpected like seungmin is on the more tame side of skz fics itll be a nice change of pace but anyway, Seungmin fucking you in the prison bathroom as well? under the cold public showers he would shamelessly fuck you despite other prisoners around in a way its him claiming you his—

Ive hidden that fic deep somewhere cuz like the writing is making me go 😨😬 but it does make me see my improvements atleast BUT LIKE- anyway Incubus Jeongin is having fun with you and messing you up in your dreams as you sweat in blindfolds in your own head- of course, it makes you beg for his touch as he teases you— twirking your nips, thumbing the slit of your cock and lightly brushing against your rim- aghhhhhbwbsuannns

aaAaa its even more a miracle that i answered this that fast- thank you anonnie!

[pettyprocrastination]

queer and feelin longing emotions and thinkin bout shortcake and the harleyyyhhh: when she first sees you shes like 👁👄👁 speechless, How could you possibly get hotter??? ure driving into frankie's driveway because you all are carpooling to meet the guys for a night out. she meets u in a daze at the end of the drive while youre taking the keys out of the ignition.

"i didnt know you owned a motercycle" she says, her face growing warm while u kick out the kickstand.

"oh um, yeah! i do!" you say with a nervous chuckle; your heart always races when youre around shortcake, but you've never seen her look at you Quite like this.

"why do i never see you riding it?" she asks, glancing down every so often as you absent mindedly start fidgeting, rubbing ur hands against the seat and the handle bars.

"ummm, i really only ride it when i need to think on some stuff or when i need to calm down," you explain. "its also really impractical for days i have a certain way i want my hair to look" u chuckle as u unclick the buckle to your helmet and hope, as youre taking it off, that your helmet hair isnt unseemly today.

"is everything okay? have you been on edge lately?" she asks, her brow furrowed. you smile at her but it doesnt quite meet your eyes.

"a little, but i'm working through it" you respond, you grasp the handle bars a little harder, u hadnt meant to let That slip.

shortcake seems unsure but after a moment she reaches out to gently lay her hand atop yours and u loosen ur grasp. "is there anything i can do to help?" she asks softly, kindly. you feel so Seen, so Loved; shes only touching your hand but you can feel the warmth of it through your entire body. "i'll uhhhh i'll let you know?" you leave it open ended, because you dont Think its possible for her to help you with your growing feelings....But you Never Know. the answer seems to appease her, for now at least.

youre together in this moment quietly, contently, a single innocent touch and your gaze at one another are all that connects one another to the present. you hear the front door of the house open and shut, you both suddenly move your hands away; the self depricating thoughts, quickening heart rates, and warm faces are all that you share now.

"hey, nice to see you bringin the ol girl out for a change" frankie says while walking towards the two of you. he raises an eyebrow at you, "you good?"

you nod, "i will be." he nods back, knowing. that sometimes you arent ready to talk about what thoughts ail you.

"oh hey your hair is a little..." he starts, moving his hand up to you head before stopping, "can i uhhh-" "oh yeah sure, thanks" you say, quickly. as frankie messes with your hair, you feel your stomach do flips and shortcake admires how sweet you look together.

he steps back admiring you- his amazing skills as a hair stylist, "better than ever" he says with a grin.

"oh wait hold on, you missed something can i just real quick" shortcake says, searching for consent. you nod you head at her and now she hands taking back stray pieces or smoothing out others. you shiver slightly as she tucks your hair behind your ear? you arent sure she actually moved anything that time. frankie is watching the two of you intently; he loves the careful way she tends to you and the way your eyes flutter shut every so often.

she moves back, and says "there, now we're good" with a soft smile. frankie smiles at her and gives her a quick peck on the cheek, "i love your attention to detail," he says, adoration in his eyes as she giggles.

"thanks," you whisper. you dont want to ruin this moment with your feelings butting in; they are so happy together, you wish so desperately you could make Them that happy.

frankie pats his pockets until he finds and fishes out his keys, "i'll go start the car, you can set your helmet inside the garage if you want?" he offers. "that'd be great thank you," you say, unstraddling the bike and the couple, unbeknownst to the other, watch a tad too intently as you do.

shortcale shakes herself out of slightly inappropriate gaze and decided to walk you up to a garage, "i've never ridden a motercycle before, it seems like fun" she says, just to fill the silence.

you're quiet, comtemplating for a moment. "would you like to?"

she laughs out a breath "oh i would love too. its a shame you dont have a second helmet, we could ride together"

you glance at her and grin a little before turning around to call out, "hey frankie? you still got that helmet i leant u?"

(idk why im writing i Got homework to do and like i keep thinking tumblr is gonna cut me off with a word count or a character limit but No they just let me Keep Going for like AN HOUR, anyways 👄👁👄

Anon I offer you my hand in marriage the dowry is easy: just keep sending me asks (also go do your homework babes!!)

I absolutely LOVE THIS AAAAA

Also the thought of shortcake going for a ride with you hhh. Her arms are tight around your waist and the engine is rumbling in her ears as shes pressed against your back, it makes you grip the handlebars tighter and at a stoplight you have to take a deep breath to calm yourself. She's never ridden a motorcycle before but in the moment, cruising down the road with her arms around you, she feels safe and secure and wants it to last forever.

Frankie walks outside just as you pull up the driveway.

"How was it?"

Shortcake tugs the helmet off with a giggle and he takes in her wild hair. "So much fun! I never knew it'd be so relaxing."

She never knew how nice it felt to have you in her arms.

Frankie ignores the way his heart hammers wildly in his chest by seeing the way shortcake, his girlfriend, stares as you lean on the handlebars of your bike. He sees her flushed face and hears the hitch in her breathe when she looks at you.

He tells himself it's from the weather. It has to be. Theres no way she feels the same way for you as he does. That's just his own mind taunting him with a fantasy.

That's just him being selfish.

"I should probably head out." Your voice breaks them both out of their own head. Both members of the couple you dreamed of each night wearing a face like a kicked puppy.

"Are you sure? You can stay for dinner if you want-"

"We can order takeout and-"

You hold your hands up in an apologetic gesture. "As fun as its be to watch you guys argue over pizza toppings again, I'll have to pass. I've got an early shift tomorrow. I should get home before it's late so I can get some sleep."

The hand that frankie held on his girlfriend's waist tightened as you backed out of the driveway and into the street with a final wave.

He knew you didn't work tomorrow

"Is she gonna be alright?" Shortcake's voice was tiny, barely heard over the roar of your engine as you drove off.

Frankie knew you were going to spend the whole night driving without a destination.

"Yeah." He pressed a comforting kiss to her temple. "She's alright, just needs to clear her head. We all get like that."

He knew at somepoint in the night you'd stop at that one 24-hour dinner you loved, he would probably stay up and meet you there. If you didnt want to talk about what was bothering you that'd be fine. He would simply order himself a burger as the two of you spoke about whatever nonsense came to mind at 3am before leaving, usually with you following him home and crashing on his couch.

You hadn't done that in a long time. He wonders why.

"I worry about her."

Ah. Right. That's why.

Shortcake leaned her head on his shoulder and he felt a steady thrum in his chest.

"Me too."

Maube he would take her with him tonight. She'd like the fries.

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

indiana jones AU because i re-watched one of the movies tonight and i have a lot of feelings

okay. so. this is long so i’m not even gonna finish this tonight okay.

Logan as Indiana Jones so,,, Logan Jones (”Logan is my name!” ”Logan’s the dog’s name, Junior!” “Dad shut up >:(”)

Patton is a “researcher” ;) (you’ll see why later) that Logan meets while looking for his father who has been kidnapped

his father is probably Deceit let’s be real (although idk how he would fit the character but i guess i can make adjustments)

Virgil as Marcus (as in,,,, the one guy with all the information who starts the journey with Logan but at one point get kidnapped as WELL and just did not sign up for all the shit that he goes through)

Roman is a rival treasure hunter who accidentally ends up on their adventure as well (as in he didn’t want to work with them but then he realizes that they’re going against bigger, eviler people and he wants to help them) (also he might’ve taken a liking to a certain dark haired boy ;)

basically the plot is that *clears throat*

there’s a flashback at the beginning, where we get lil Logan being a treasure hunter at like 15 years old

as in he steals an artifact from a band of bad dudes who just wanted to sell it for money

yeah so that’s the difference between Logan and Roman 

Logan believes the artifacts should be in a museum while Roman doesn’t see their value

anyway, we also see Deceit being not-the-best-dad

don’t worry he gets redeemed

back to the present we have Logan teaching at his high school i guess?

it’s the 1930s btw so just so y’all know the nasties are gonna come in later

and by nasties i mean the uuuuuuh hitler guy

and i’m including this because there is one, and i mean ONE scene where they’re burning books and everyone is asking hitler for an autograph because like,,, that was one hell of a brainwashing i swear, but they accidentally push Jones into the crowd and he has his journal in his hand and there is this one moment of tension where him and hitler look at each other and then he just opens the notebook and signs it WITHOUT realizing what is written in it and it’s just one of the best scenes of the whole movie because of how much of an idiot he is okay

the whole movie makes fun of him basically

like at one point Jones throws a nazi general out the window of a dirigible and he’s like “he didn’t have a ticket” and there’s a moment where everyone looks at each other before they all take their tickets out to show they have them

okay sorry this is getting long

anyway, its part of the movie (technically) and they’re the main villans which like i don’t even know if they had the rights to show that on tv but yeah

BUT i’m getting ahead of myself

basically, Logan gets called in by this rich guy to observe a rock

turns out it has a secret message for finding the Holy Grail (although it’s half broken so,,, only half the info is there)

which Deceit has been looking for his whole life

so Logan is like “yooooo” and wants to go tell his father about it (and he wants to find the Holy Grail)

but the rich guy tells him that his father has disappeared

so Logan takes Virgil with him and they go to Deceit’s house and find it a mess

and Logan remembers about a packet that had been delivered to him that morning and he opens it and guess what?

it’s Deceit’s notebook!! it’s full of all the notes he had ever taken for finding the Holy Grail

and both Virgil and Logan are like “yooooooo”

i don’t remember how but they come to the conclusion that Logan’s father is in Venice, Italy

so they head over there! how fun ain’t it!!

also, they’re told (by the notebook i believe) that they should meet Professor. Moore there

and they do!! and guess what?

Its our boy Patton!!

yeah he’s the “professor” that they’re supposed to meet

okay but their first interaction goes like this (and this is directly from the movie oKAY) (that movie’s fucking timeless i swear)

Patton: “Mr. Jones?”

Logan turns around to him and Pat’s like “I knew it was you, you have your father’s eyes.”

Logan checks him out let’s be real

that’s what happens in the movie and you know what he says?

he goes “And my mother’s ears. But the rest is all yours ;))”

and Patton goes “Oh, too bad all the good parts are already taken”

y’all i lost my goddamn mind

its way off character but SHUT UP JUST IMAGINE THE SCENE

let’s just say i find it way too funny

Jones is so fuckin horny in this movie i SWEAR

like the gal’s a spy, right? yeah he STILL WANTS TO BE WITH HER SDLFKJJKL

he’s a himbo except he doesn’t respect women

but Logan does and he’s much less of a himbo

anyway, EVENTUALLY, they end up talking, and they go visit the library (that is inside the church) because that’s what the notebook says

oh wait i forgot, Patton gives them a piece of paper with roman numerals written on it that Deceit wrote before disappearing

they figure out the numbers can be found in front of a mosaic window in the church that is drawn in the notebook

so they do and they also figure out that the last of the numerals is on the floor so Logan breaks the floor

poor harrison ford he was actually strong in that movie

anyway go look up the scene because it is to die for i swear

okay so Patton and Logan end up exploring the tunnel they find after breaking the floor and it turns out its the catacombs

oooo yay!! they almost die

as in, these lil’ bitches set the catacombs on fire

and they escape through the sewers and get out by the manhole

sorry that word is just,,,,, hm weird

okay and they have an epic boat racing scene with the people who set the catacombs on fire because the peeps want them dead but they didn’t die

oh also the peeps knocked Virgil out in the meanwhile

look a lot of stuff happens in this movie

anyway boat racing stuff and they kill some of the peeps

HOWEVER they do find out that the peeps are part of a cult that wants to stop people from finding the Holy Grail

ya and apparently Logan’s dad is being kept prisoner in a castle in Germany

so they find Virgil and the three of them end up in a hotel

you can imagine what happens with Logan and Patton okay they flirt a whole lot and uuuuh look just watch the movie okay i don’t want to write it out

its a similar relationship except you take out all the abuse shit because that ain’t cool okay

when they wake up all the rooms are upside down and messed up and guess what? it’s because some peeps (i don’t remember who) were looking for the notebook because they ALSO want to find the Holy Grail

but anyway, Logan, Patton and Virgil decide to head to the castle were Deceit is being held apparently.

but it’s very very late here and i need to go to sleep so i’ll just post this now and i’ll continue it some other time

idk where remus will come in (i’m asking for help here aaaaa)

i am gonna change some things

like,,, Patton is not gonna be working for the nazi in this because uuuuuuuh i really don’t wanna write that

so i also need to figure that out

ooooooooh wait what if he worked with Roman and so that’s why he tricked Logan

he gets redeemed tho

plus roman isn’t gonna be unsympathetic or anything

maybe a bit of a jerk at first but he warms up to our lil group anyway

aaaaaaaaa okay i think i got that

[localrobosexual]

so how about The Last Knight huh

HECKO I totally forgot to make that post about what I thought about Transformers 5 after I watched it whOOPS

so here they are now!! :0 it’s kinda long though. Sorry about that. Unlike my post about GOTG Vol. 2 that one time, for this one I just kinda wrote down some erratic notes about thoughts and reactions I had as I watched the movie, and then I kinda summed up my opinion about it overall down at the end?? so yeah. That’s how this one is gonna play out lol. Generalized running commentary style.

(fair warning: this WILL contain spoilers!! Like I can’t,,, , talk about it without giving stuff away lmao. If you haven’t seen the movie, and still want to and plan on doing so, I don’t recommend you read this!)

alright u made it past the spoiler warning so here we go!!

-  Quintessa gave me a lot of G1 Unicron vibes with the whole "I made you, you are mine to command" thing

- "Why do we tell these stories, besides the fact that dragons are wicked" girl same lmao

- I literally cannot. CANNOT. Take Barricade seriously. With those ridiculous "punish" and “enslave” branded brass knuckles. Buddy. My dude. Please chill. You're literally trying to be so edgy man just. Turn it down a notch lmao - Optimus literally didn't sound at all like himself at first?? It sounded like he had a different voice actor for those first few lines he spoke?? That was weird. It wasn't until the second time he appeared on screen where Quintessa was telling him about where the staff was hid was I like "oh wait yeah there's Peter Cullen" - the "Cybertron is coming" shot looked sUPER fake and green screened to me for whatever reason?? like idk I think it was the lighting they had on him but it was reALLY FUNNY PFFFFTT

- Bee swinging his legs on top of that roof was sUPER CUTE THANK U IM BLESSED

- Mohawk. Um. Who thought turning Junkrat into a Transformer was a good idea bc that’s literally all this dude is lmao

- What kind of name is Nitro Zeus. Im cryin. PRETTY SURE HE HAS THE SAME VOICE ACTOR AS THE ONE TIGER ALIEN FROM BEN 10??? I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT HE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WENT "LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN". WHY DOES HE HAVE SHOCKWAVE'S FACE. IM SO DONE

- I like how they had the whole holoform bike thing going on?? like how Prowl's was in TFA and Arcee’s was in TFP that was neato - I WILL NEVER GET USED TO HEARING BUMBLEBEE SWEAR I S2G but the Siri voice thing was pretty funny ngl. I saw that in a trailer on instagram and didn't actually think it was actually a real scene that they kept I thought it was just made for that specific ad but nOPE IT WAS REAL LMAO - Megatron musing over Starscream's decapitated head oh my god liSTEN MAN PUT HIM DOWN DONT BE LIKE THIS COME ON - HI CAN WE TALK ABOUT COGSMAN I LOVE COGMAN A LOT I LOVE HIM HE WAS REALLY GREAT EASILY A BIG FAVE HE WAS SO ENJOYABLE TO WATCH I love how,,, ok heck I don't know this guy very well bc I didn't watch Age of Extinction but it's the green dude with the trench coat built into him,,, Crosshairs?? I think it's Crosshairs yeah but the fact that he called him a C-3PO rip off was fUNNY MAN that also got a good laugh outta me and he totally rekt his heckin finger lmao. He was rlly short?? that surprised me kinda like from the trailers it looked like he was pretty average human sized but nope he’s super short - BEE'S DOUBLE CHEST POUND FINGER GUN "ayyy my dude" THING WAS ADORABLE THANK U - THEY ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH THE WHOLE EARTH BEING UNICRON THING HOLY HECK now that,,, that was really interesting. Didn't expect that. AND the whole Nemesis Prime deal?? OP getting brainwashed?? THAT'S why he's heckin evil nO WONDER MAN GEEZ I didn't think OP would willingly do all that to the earth just because. That makes me feel a lot better actually lmao - Soundwave!! Shockwave!! u guys are famous!! wow way to go im so proud of u!!!! - Hot Rod tho,,,, , oh boy he was a mess lmao. I only really know Hot Rod through MTMTE and the 80s Transformers movie so,, , not too too much to go off of, but he just was so incredibly DIFFERENT and off-putting from what I was used to that I honestly didn't like him so much?? I mean he was alright. Grew on me a bit more as the movie went on I think. He was ok. That time warp weapon thing he had was cool tho!! nice!! seemed kinda overpowered a bit but cool!! - COGMAN SPINNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE WHILE HE WALKED THE DOG WAS ADORABLE THANK U - you know that movie trope where he background music will become like a song on the radio and then a character comes and switches it off?? YEAH THEY DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THIS MOVIE WITH THE EPIC WORLD-CHANGING ORGAN MUSIC AND I JUST. COGMAN GOING HAM ON THAT ORGAN HAD ME CRYYYYYYYIIINNG HE WAS SO INTO IT MAN OH MY GO D. I LOVE COGMAN THANK U THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES AND IT WAS HILARIOUS GOD BLESS - HE CAN SING OPERA TOO IM CRYYYYIINNNG MAN JUST. PLEASE LET HIM HYPE UP THE MOMENT HE'S DOING HIS BEST!!!! - THE TABLE WAS WRITTEN IN OLD CYBERTRONIAN yknow if you could get Cyclonus down there he could probs read that for you no problem. Or don't actually. Please don't drag him into Bayverse oh I s2g nevermind nevermind - HEY MAN I LOVED THAT ROBOT HYDRA WOO BOY THAT WAS COOL and it's like?? a Combiner?? but not really. Burton just said the twelve knights combined into the dragon but I doubt they can all unfuse from that form lmao it was probs just a one time thing. So not a Combiner. Still cool tho. Robot dragons. SICK!!!!!! - HEY they did the whole Unicron's a planet-eating god thing this time around too wow. Neat. Listen man all I'm saying is I glad I watched TFP and bits of G1 and that 80s movie bc if not I woulda had no idea why Unicron was important lmao. That was pretty neat tho!! Interesting. Interesting. - OK BUT COGMAN LAUGHING AND SINGING "MOVE B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY" WHILE DRIVING 200 MPH DOWN THE ROAD WAS HILARIOUS WHAT A BLESSING THANK U - Surprisingly Bee seemed to be ok in that open water??? Hanging on to the side of a submarine?? I mean. Salt water man. Buddy watch out ur gonna rust plEASE BE CAREFUL

- speaking of which didn’t they say there was gonna be a submarine transformer in this movie?? like didn’t they say that in interviews before the movie came out?? I mean. We never saw that. It might’ve been that the submarine WAS a transformer but it never spoke, never transformed, nothing. Didn’t give any indication that it was uniquely Cybertronian aside from Vivian’s magic touch thing. Idk. That wasn’t explained so I mean. Hmm.

- Cogman can make sushi!! dang!! wow!!! bravo!!! - OP'S HECKIN INTERDIMENSIONAL BOOB POCKET OH MY GO D dang wish I had one of those lmao - THAT FINAL FIGHT WITH OP AND BEE THO AAAAAAAA OH MY GO S H HECKO MAN!!!! OPTIMUS RIPS OFF BEE'S DOOR WINGS MAN!!! GEEZ!!!! what I wanna know is like since when did Bumblebee have a hammer lmao. Like,, , is it supposed to the the Forge of Solus Prime?? When did he get that?? How and why?? I don't know and it was never explained but I mean. Why tho. - OH MY GOD BUT BEE'S VOICE!! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!!! DANG!! WOW BUDDY!!! AAAA!! IM GLAD HE'S OK!!! and that's all it takes to snap Optimus outta his brainwashed phase lmao ok then. Cool. Wasn’t what I expected him to sound like either but then again I really don’t know what I expected in the first place lmao - I feel a LOT better knowing Optimus didn't willingly wanna destroy the earth like. He was brainwashed. And when he snapped outta it he felt absolutely awful about what he did. I mean it felt like that whole plot point was rushed, a lot of this movie felt very rushed, but it makes me feel better at least lmao. Optimus I'm sorry man can I,,, , give u a hug or something man it rlly looks like u need a hug - "YOU CHOSE THE WRONG SIDE" OOOOOH BOY FLASHBACKS TO THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR BIT IN PRI.ME(3) LMAOOOO - CADE. BUDDY. YOU CANT JUST BLOCK A SWORD LIKE THAT. THAT WAS A KILLING BLOW DEALT BY A GIANT ALIEN ROBOT I DONT CARE HOW SPECIAL THAT MEDALLION THINGY IS U CANT JUST DO THAT LMAOOOO. And then as soon as he whips that sword out the rest of the knights are like "oh wait yeah let's stop killing this guy we're chill now let's all point out swords together" lmaooooo - Crosshairs' "Love that guy. Goosebumps every time" line after Optimus gives his mandatory speech lmAO DUDE SAME - "You were by far the coolest" alright Cogman you ruined the moment a lil bit but man I still love u hecko - OK THIS IS GONNA SOUND REALLY STUPID BUT LISTEN MAN I'M GLAD THERE WAS,,,, , a lot of hand holding going on towards the end. Like fr. Cogman to dying Burton and Vivian and Cade as they were gonna jump outta that plane onto the Cybertronian tendril whatevers. Just. Small bits of physical reassurance and comfort in times of real great distress. I appreciate that a LOT more than like, watching two characters make out right before the big climactic final showdown lmao. Thank u movie wow I really didn't expect that - SO THERE WAS A COMBINER TEAM!! A COMBINER MINOTAUR!!! DANG NOT EVEN GONNA LIE THAT THING WAS NEATO!!! - Ok forget what I said about Hot Rod at the beginning he redeemed himself at the end. I didn't like him and first but now,, , now we chill. Granted I still can't see him as being HOT ROD bc he's just so different from what I know him as Rodimus but I can still appreciate him as his own character. Cool cool. - OPTIMUS RIDING THE ROBOT HYDRA INTO BATTLE AND BLOWING EVERYTHING UP WAS GREAT. MAN THAT WAS GOOD. "DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM" WOOOO BOY CHILLS MAN!!!! - OH COME ON they still made out. Lmao. Dangit. It was inevitable but I mean come on man. Alright. They kept it short and quick thank you tho if u had to put in a make out scene at least u kept it to a minimum. Thank you. Can we get back to the robots now pls. - AAAAA BUMBLEBEE'S "STING LIKE A BEE" LINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - that ending was pretty sudden lmao. A lot of this movie was sudden and fast. They just jump cut STRAIGHT to those credits man not even an ending panorama or clean slow zoom out shot or anything lmao - AND OH BOY THEY TEASED UNICRON’S GONNA ACTUALLY COME BACK AND APPEAR IN ANOTHER MOVIE AAAAAAA OH NO OH BOY NOT AGAIN GOSH DARN IT LMAO 

All in all, surprisingly, I actually ended up kinda enjoying it!! Like it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!! Tbh for me it might even be second best in the series!! (First being the first movie from 2008 lmao) Honestly I was really REALLY surprised at how much I didn't hate it. Like. I still dislike it to a degree because it's still Bayverse, and I probably won't watch it again unless I'm with friends (like I do with the rest of the transformers movies) but it honestly wasn't too too bad! It really exceeded my expectations as far as plot, and I wasn't hardcore cringing for most of the movie so hey that's a plus!! The movie had a lot of genuinely funny moments, especially with Cogman, which got some pretty good laughs outta me like I was really having fun at those parts!! Optimus’ absence for most of the movie didn’t sit well with me for some reason. Like it just felt strange. But it kinda had to be for the story to move forward so I guess I can forgive that lol. The pacing was REALLY whack and way too fast though. Like they were REALLY trying to cram a whole lotta stuff into a relatively short amount of time. The movie's almost two and a half hours long but it really didn't feel like that because of how fast the pacing was. Some of the dialogue felt really forced because of this issue too. It didn’t feel genuine sometimes. But that has to be like, pretty much my only specific issue with it?? surprisingly?? wow. I'm honestly super shocked lmao dang man I didn’t think I’d like this movie at all but I was very much proved wrong!! I hated those old ladies tho and their obsession to get Vivian a boyfriend and the whole innuendo thing. Yeah. No. Don't do that. Stop. I'm too ace for this. 

anyways yeah those were my thoughts sorry that was so long lmao whoops