#i think i made more progress wondering i do/experience i have is related to my disorders. vs when i got extremely paranoid

[flamingothing]

think im really struggling to find the middleground between "not pathologizing all my behaviours" and "these are textbook symptoms of the disorders i have"

[cherrygummybears]

found it by searching “neil” on my old blog and then dodging through the horrors of Some of the Stuff I Posted When I Was Sixteen

where is neil banging out the tunes it’s april 13

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

7 Types of Rest

I've been reading a bit about this and jotting down some notes because the framework is helpful for communicating my different kinds of exhausted and gives me ideas on how to help myself more, and idk I thought I would share because I think other people might find it useful or interesting. I don't have just one article on it to recommend because unfortunately they are almost all trying to sell you their telehealth services or a meditation app or whatever.

**Disclaimer that resting isn't going to fix everything, examples of things to do aren't going to be accessible to everyone, they are just meant to be a start to brain storming, this is not medical advice etc...**

Physical - Relates to activities that are physically restorative

Mental - Relates to taking a break from mental stimulation

Spiritual - Relates to the fundamental need for belonging, purpose and acceptance

Emotional - Relates to being able to experience and express your real and authentic feelings

Sensory - Relates to giving your senses a break from stimulation

Social - Relates to feeling energized by spending time with people who contribute to your life in positive, supportive, and meaningful ways

Creative - Relates to appreciating beauty or feeling awe/wonder

Notes I made for "signs you need x type of rest" and actually getting that type of rest are under the cut. Again, they are personal so take them with a grain of salt. Also some of my notes on things I could do would definitely apply to others. I didn't want to keep writing "go outside" and "journal" for over half of them lol.

Physical Rest

Signs you may need physical rest

Feeling fatigued, body aches and pains

Feeling mentally sluggish or foggy

Getting some relief

Prioritize getting good quality sleep

Go on walks or engage in other gentle physical activity

Stretch throughout the day

Getting a massage (maybe trade with a friend or partner?)

Improve the ergonomics of your workspace

Mental Rest

Signs you may need mental rest

Unable to concentrate or recall simple things

Unable to relax

Racing thoughts

Getting some relief

Schedule breaks throughout the day

Write things down (can help racing thoughts or things you're worried about forgetting)

Do a satisfying activity that doesn't require much thought (example: coloring pages, simple craft)

Spiritual Rest

Signs you may need spiritual rest

Feeling lack of purpose or belonging

Getting some relief

Get involved in local community

volunteer

pray or meditate

Emotional Rest

Signs you may need emotional rest

Feeling weighed down

Stifling/suppressing feelings

Strong need to please others

Getting some relief

Talk to someone who allows you to be your authentic self

Participating in a peer support group

Journaling

Sensory Rest

Signs you may need sensory rest

Feeling energized at the start of the day, but becoming more irritable as the day progresses

Getting distracted by noises other people seem to be able to tune out

Getting some relief

Use dimmable lighting or lamps

Regularly set notifications to do not disturb

Use power strips to easily turn off multiple appliances at once

Avoid running loud appliances during busy parts of the day (ex. if washing machine is loud, don't run it while you're trying to pack and get out the door on time)

Social Rest

Signs you may need social rest

Feeling drained, exhausted

Feeling like your only interactions are with people who want/need something from you

Getting some relief

Nurture life-affirming, meaningful relationships

Make time for socializing with friends who don't "need" anything from you, where you can just enjoy each other's company

If you know you will be interacting with someone you find draining, make a plan to engage in social rest after

Creative Rest

Signs you may need creative rest

Feeling "blah"

Struggling with problem solving or brainstorming

Getting some relief

Go out in nature

Spend time in inviting spaces

Listen to music

Watch a skilled performer

Display items you find visually appealing in both home and work spaces

[sttmh]

Hi there! So i just found this blog and wanted to read it all, but i never heard of anything called sttmh and have some questions(btw you could add faq in your masterpost so you won't need to answer to this kind of questions in future, but that's just a suggestion)

1 what is sttmh, how does it work and did you made it or is that something made long time ago?

2 is this an au or alternative mv, or at, or have you not clasified it yet?

3 how to call you, what are your pronouns, are you +18 or a minor?(you don't have to answer if you don't want to)

4 I saw you rebloged some stuff at start of the blog, is it your second acount? If yes what is it about, why did you make this acount ect.

5 how does this archive thing work

6 how does it all started and why did you decided to make this blog

7 when did this blog started or when was the first post about sttmh and from who was it(i supose it's you but just to be sure)

8 what kind of creator are you? Are you an artist, a writer or do you think of yourself just as a person with too much time? How do you classify yourself?

9 I saw there is some art in blog, but i thought it's better to ask, is this art yours or do you reblog other people's art, or meaby someone makes it for you

10 is it partly an error ask blog?

11 do you ship any sanses and are there any ships in sttmh

12 where should i start? Does this blog have all the info or should i first look up what sttmh is?

Thank you in advance, i wish i can explore another beautiful blog as soon as posible and remember to never stop doing something that gives you and others joy, that's all from me, I wish you all the best ^^

Oh! A Q&A post is a wonderful idea! I'll make sure to make one after I answer these (I will likely just copy and paste, though XD).

STTMH is short for Sans Tumbles Through the Multiverse Headfirst, a story I've been working on for a little under a year and a half, now. This blog is the platform I use to talk with my readers, answer questions, write drabbles, share fanart, and this blog is a place where readers can interact with Error in my story (sort of like the format of the original Ask Error blog).

This is an alternate multiverse.

My name is Papil or Butter, I use she/her (though I don't really care which pronouns you guys use), and I am an adult.

I originally posted things about STTMH on my personal blog, but I decided to separate my STTMH blog from my personal one, as I did not want any of my browsing preferences to affect others' experiences of the story. -> I.e., I am someone who prefers to customize my feed, and will use blocking tags and accounts if I don't want to see their posts (this is nothing reflecting on the person running the blog). My personal blog is one where I mainly post Undertale reblogs, and sometimes I will include little rambles that can vary anywhere from writing to something my cat did.

If you are referring to the masterposts, they are my attempt to organize the quickly increasing number of posts relating to the project. I'm trying to make they easy to browse as well as search for (though they are more of a work in progress).

STTMH started on a whim over the Christmas holiday while I was in the middle of nowhere. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, laptop on my lap, and thought to myself: "... I wish there were more Classic stories." And the rest is history.

I started this blog, I believe, on Jan. 8th of this year, though the first post about STTMH was on Jan. 8th of 2024, when I posted the link to the second chapter of the story.

I consider myself a writer, though I occasionally like to doodle.

Both! If the art is not mine, I always include credits with links wherever possible! -> These are usually reblogs of or asks with fanart.

Yes, this blog is partly a place where readers can send asks to Error, similar to the original Ask Error blog.

I don't have any preferences on ships, and there are no ships in STTMH, at least as of right now. Romance is not a focus of the story, so any possible romance I may leave to after the main story or drabbles. Anyone can ship any characters in my story, however! I don't mind. ^^

I'd recommend catching up on the main story on AO3 first. Otherwise, drabbles and asks can be read in practically any order!

[therainscene]

Hey, thanks so much for your response!

I agree on the first point, that Mike would have told El he loves her anyway, but your answer - "so why did the writers feel the need to weave Will into Mike's love confession?" - relates exactly to the 2nd take, about Will's love not being portrayed as sad enough to ruin the Mike/El storyline in s4. I've seen mileven fans use the exact phrase you did to justify why Will won't end up with Mike:

Mike isn't a prize to be awarded to whichever Vecna victim would be made the happiest by him.

They say that Will doesn't get to have Mike just because he wants him, and that Mike and El have chosen each other time and again, every season, and so why would they change that going into s5? (Obviously the last part is silly, because stories do change and progress, but I'm more interested in the first part: that people do genuinely seem to read this storyline as purely romantic for Mike/El, and purely sad and unrequited for Will). The ambiguity that you mentioned is missed by many people.

And ok, on your last point ("Who cares why some people still ship Milevn?") - that's a sensible outlook. But for me, being in this fandom has become a sort of sociological experiment where I've learned a lot about human nature as well as just enjoying the show. I genuinely expected to come to fandom to share in byler and celebrate it with other fans, not be told I was insane - and as an artist and writer myself, it has made me question my own original works outside of this fandom, wondering how they will be understood or received in the wider world, because things that appear so clear and understandable to me within Stranger Things - like the ambiguity of this love triangle as we end s4 - are apparently hard for some viewers to grasp.

So this is what I meant by a fundamental difference in how people perceive the visual storytelling of the show, because milevens will say that Will was included in the scene of Mike's love confession (and woven into the Mike/El story as a whole) to show how sad Will's unrequited love is and make the audience root for him to move on.

At what point does this stop being a valid interpretation? I can never tell if mileven fans genuinely can't feel the chemistry and energy between Mike and Will, or if they are denying it, because for me, seeing the way Will's pain was portrayed made my pity for Will stronger than my need to see Mike and El reconcile. This combined with how flirtatious I perceived Mike to act around Will as the season progressed made me start rooting for byler despite the odds. But milevens will say that byler fans are biased towards Will, and are inventing that Mike flirted with Will at all.

I've studied art at college and worked in storytelling fields. I'm not a teenager who is easily swayed, and neither am I part of the queer community, so my investment is different to that of people who would like to see themselves represented in byler's sexuality storyline. And yet being in this fandom has been the first time I have ever started to doubt my own instincts regarding my understanding of a story.

In the end, perhaps it speaks more of the phenomenon of fandom itself than it does about the actual show, but it's just interesting for me as a writer and a human, from a sociological standpoint. I think it's important for writers to be interested in people and what makes them tick, and milevens sure do make me (morbidly) curious.

I can understand if you don't want to discuss this further but I thought I'd try, as I do love your theories and the way you think about the show. I haven't been able to find many people who want to talk about this aspect of fandom, and yet for me, it's the thing that makes me most intrigued.

Thanks for everything and keep up the great posts :)

[Hey, thanks for this follow-up. I misread the context of your previous ask, sorry; I assumed you were queer since your pinned post mentions queer theory. My bad.]

I'm sure you probably suspected this already, but the sociological phenomenon you're encountering is homophobia.

And I would say you're experiencing it first-hand: doubting your instincts because you keep being told you're insane for predicting a queer outcome you know is real, but can't prove is real.

This is how comphet operates: making people feel like they need to conjure up concrete, objective, undeniable proof of queerness before they're allowed to consider it a valid option, even though straightness and cisness aren't held to the same standard. (There's a reason "born this way" is a more popular saying than "who cares why we choose this lifestyle?") It's about gaslighting queers into staying closeted and straights out of becoming allies; not much more to it than that, I'm afraid.

The way some folks in this fandom treat Byler fans reminds me so much of the way I was treated as a queer teenager.

So I'm just not interested in engaging with their refusal to acknowledge the ambiguity in Mike and Will's story. As far as I'm concerned, taking their arguments too seriously is tantamount to ceding ground in the fight to live my life on my terms instead of theirs.

I guess the best I can do to answer your question is point you towards an older essay of mine which illustrates how giving in to homophobic patterns of thought just straight-up erased my ability to see the obvious queer truth that was right in front of me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[millerflintstone]

What's below the cut is my experience in adjusting to my new prism glasses so far. Not terribly exciting, especially if you are blessed with normal healthy eyes.

I picked them up on Wednesday 3/12. These glasses are made by Neurolens.

Unfriendly drove in case things looked really odd to me. I wasn't sure how my distance depth perception would be affected since I had read up on potential adjustment side effects and had watched a couple of people vlog their adjustment period. Nothing seemed particularly off. I was expecting a common perception of things looking like they were about to fall off of flat objects like tables, but nope. Distance was just fine.

We went to Costco afterwards and I don't recall anything really unusual.

Trying to use my phone was really odd. I don't think I did much of that. Scrolling made me so nauseated because words and images were moving too quickly

Last Thursday was my first full day and that was ROUGH. My new eye doctor had explained to me that my eyes rest outward normally and that I've been straining my eyes into alignment. Initially, I was wondering if I just don't do that for anything that doesn't require reading or close up vision because the prior day of mostly distance use was okay. While working on my laptop, I could feel my eyes trying to strain, which is what they've been used to all my life. It was unsettling.

The trick with prism lenses is similar to how you adjust to progressives; you point your nose at what you want to look at. I was doing that but also straining to align my eyes so that I didn't see double. It was a total mindfuck to feel my eyes strain and then kind of freak out because the usual trick wasn't working. I really had to focus on relaxing my eyes and just looking at my screen by pointing my nose at things. The words would eventually come into focus. Then, the muscle memory of straining would kick in again and mess it up. It was just exhausting. By lunch I had such a headache.

By the end of the day? Ugh it was awful. I had magnified my phone text and my laptop text and just felt like such a little old blind lady. And when I took them off? I was IMMEDIATELY crashing into doorways and walking into the hall wall as I tried to get ready for bed/slather on my face potions. So, while my depth perception wasn't affected in that objects looked odd as they were existing, I'm definitely processing a different perception with my distance vision as well. It will be interesting to see how much less leg and arm bruising I actually get going forward.

Friday was a bit better. It took longer in the day to feel the eye strain. I still felt like I was chasing the focus of words and if I scrolled past anything quickly I'd look away and then look back when everything stopped moving.

Saturday and Sunday were a break from long hours at the laptop. I did notice when we were driving on the highway and Unfriendly changed lanes to the middle lane, I braced myself because there was a car to the right of us. I was expecting it to appear/be too close. That's how things usually look to me. Only, the car wasn't as close as I was expecting it to be. It was in its lane. I never thought about my reactivity as being related to my vision. I just thought I was nervous passenger.

That made me wonder how much of my driving stress has been related to me to not being able to properly gauge things and getting tired due to all of the eye strain I didn't realize I was doing.

Today has been ok. I'm more aware of smudged lenses, so I've been cleaning my glasses before I take them off and right before I put them on in case I accidentally touched them. I feel like I'm adjusting better between distance and close up but I can tell I'm still adjusting.

As for the adjustment period in general, the guidance I got from the optician was to put my glasses on immediately after waking. I have to do that regardless. I can get away with some basic things but my right eye is so much more nearsighted than the left. It makes it really uncomfortable to go without glasses for any prolonged period of time. The other thing I'm supposed to do is read something as soon as possible while I'm still kind of waking up. I think that has helped.

[yuus-sentient-teddy]

"You're Staying Here." Part 2

Part 1

((I started writing this in December 2023 and it's finally finished five months later ;w; Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in this story! I sincerely hope you enjoy part two!))

Tag list: @luminisciel

'Of course it can't be that easy to forgive,' he thought bitterly.

"I know you're changing. I've seen your progress and I'm happy you're becoming better, but. . ." Yuu's head lightly shook side to side, face apologetic.

"Sometimes, whenever someone looks down on me for not knowing basics in magic, I remember when you called me inadequate for not having 'proper' education and making it sound like my parents were lesser for being magicless. The way that person talks and looks at me are too similar to the way you talked and looked. It's like they're refusing to see me more than what I don't have."

"Even after we saved you from your Overblot, I kept thinking you still thought of me and my family that way until you told me that I was an honorary member of Heartslabyul and showed that you like hearing me talking about my family. I do like hanging out with you. It's just that your face and words are something I can't not remember no matter how hard I try."

It was like Riddle got punched again. He felt as though he lost his breath and footing; he couldn't form any words. He had caused so much distress to members of Heartslabyul dorm during his reign as dorm leader, and he worked hard to rectify it. The efforts extended to the Ramshackle Prefect, from offering to help them with their studies to inviting them and Grim to Unbirthday Parties. Though it was awkward in the beginning, Yuu never once was unkind to him. That was why he felt sick learning that his past self left such a terrible and strong impression.

"Azul."

He swallowed, having an inkling of what they were going to say.

"I came to this world with nothing," they said. "I have no one to support me if something happens. Ramshackle Dorm was my only shelter and you had the audacity to take it away. Do you know what that's like?"

Their voice rose. The apologetic feelings they had for Riddle was absent for Azul, instead being replaced by hurt and exasperation.

"The headmaster is probably the closest to parental support, but he wasn't going to hesitate to let Grim and I starve if I didn't fix something you caused and he could've easily fixed."

Someone murmured a dumbfounded 'what?' while Azul nervously adjusted his glasses. "Sure, he could be nicer and a hell lot more competent, but you at least could have been decent and used something else for collateral or--I don't know--let me still live there while I ran your stupid errand of stealing from a museum? Did that ever cross your mind or were you just thinking how great it was that someone who can't even fight back--someone who could also get into deep shit for not having an identity in this world--was doing your dirty work? You even sent Floyd and Jade to make sure I wouldn't win--and let me remind you that Ramshackle is literally one of the only things I have in this world!"

Azul felt his cheeks burn. On either side of him, the Leech twins were quiet. He didn't dare glance to see how everyone else was reacting, he had a feeling what their expressions were. He could even feel the burning stares if he let his mind linger too long.

He wasn't sure how he was going to respond. He was already caught off guard by what Yuu revealed earlier and feeling a little guilt for having a hand in their rough experience in Night Raven College. The thing was, Yuu had never expressed any discomfort being around him--although, he was starting to wonder something.

He noticed they made a certain face whenever he brought up anything related to his contracts: a half smile paired with squinting eyes; what seemed to be part amusement, part feeling of being tired but still wanting to hang around. Had he misread that as a friendly expression? Was it actually discomfort? Disgust?

But that seemed to be the only outstanding thing. They sometimes sought him out to get his opinion on something or have long, pleasant chats. He still remembers the encouraging words they gave back in the Atlantica Memorial Museum all those months ago. There was also that vulnerable moment when they asked how he managed to deal with bullies.

So what about what they just said? From how much anger was in their voice and the gathering tears in their eyes, he wondered if their anger towards him had been bubbling just underneath the entire time, making itself known whenever he was around. If that was the case, then did that mean their friendly interactions with him was just them trying to get over their anger?

Or were they forcing themself to like him despite the grudge, finding that his expertise and skill sets were worth tolerating him?

The thought made his chest ache. He really thought he and the Prefect of Ramshackle were. . . were something like friends.

Jamil felt cold when Yuu's eyes turned to him.

"Let me ask you something, Jamil. Did it ever hit you that I might have been at my limit by the time winter break came around? You of all people should know how debilitating exhaustion can be."

"I was looking forward to sitting in front of the fireplace, have some hot cocoa, and chat the night away with the Ramshackle ghosts and Grim. You know, get a break from the chaos of the school and have some time to get back my sanity."

"But then you dragged me into a coup--and if only it was as simple as that! Get put through a training camp from hell and forced to march in a scorching desert and get searing sunburns? Watch other people suffer the same things and be powerless to help? Get hypnotized and make a choice I didn't want to make and become a hostage in an unknown dorm? Sure, why not!" Yuu threw their arms into the air. "It's not like I wasn't having an awful enough time in this damn school!"

Jamil knew he would be next at some point. He didn't blame them for being angry at him, not after all they've been through, so when he saw movement in the corner of his eyes, he said, "Kalim, you don't have to say anything."

"But--"

"Just drop it. This shouldn't be a surprise anyway."

"Were you going to say how Jamil has been working to make up for his actions?" Yuu asked tersely. "Kalim, I know what he's been doing, but that doesn't mean I've forgiven him for the shit he pulled!"

"No, no, it's not that!" Kalim said. "It's just that you're usually an open person. I'm wondering why you didn't bring this up with any of them sooner or even to us."

"I can't imagine how hard the school year has been for you. Getting pulled away from your home suddenly, having to get used to a new world, and being bullied. You've been angry and hurt for a long time, and I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way."

"It's great that you made many friends along the way. Despite the shaky beginning, I've seen you smiling and having a great time while hanging out with us here! And I haven't heard of any major disagreements. That includes with Jamil, Azul, and Riddle."

"All of us are your friends, Yuu, and we want you to be all right. It should be okay to share whatever has been bothering you. The last thing anyone wants is for you to be super uncomfortable or burdened by feelings of hurt and sadness."

He wasn't accusing Yuu of anything. He just wanted to understand them, and it was crystal clear from the way he spoke. Now that they thought about it, perhaps that little bit of sadness in his eyes was because the situation was kind of similar to his and Jamil's: Jamil never told Kalim about what he was dealing with and his wounds festered until they became fuel for his Overblot. For Yuu, it wouldn't culminate into anything that serious, but Kalim would want to help all the same.

They could have cried again from the blatant concern for them.

Finding their voice, they said, "Whatever happened is in the past. I don't see the point in bringing up things we want to move on from. I could either cling onto anger and have high blood pressure every time I see certain people, or I could let bygones be bygones and let you all learn and grow from your mistakes."

Then it hit them and they looked down guiltily. "Except I went against what I said just now and talked about stuff from the past."

"That's because you're still hurting. It's not good for you to continue like that and who knows what it might do to you if you don't talk about it," Kalim said.

"You also can't force yourself to be okay," Ace added. They didn't say anything.

"Yuu, if I may ask," Azul said, "have you been pretending to like being around us?"

They blinked, a little surprised. Their head shook a little, side to side. "No. Where did you. . ."

They shut their eyes and sighed deeply. Then, haltingly, they admitted, "Sometimes I just don't want to be in the same room as any of you."

Riddle felt his heart break a little and Azul inhaled sharply through his nose, like a gasp. Jamil's shoulders sagged and he looked down. And the rest wondered if Yuu had felt the same with them.

For some, it was kind of understandable: there would only be so many interactions before you want to be with someone else (but they will say it stung that Yuu felt so repulsed that they wanted to get away from them). For others, they either didn't want to entertain the thought or had entertained the thought and felt their soul get brutally crushed.

"But here's the thing." Yuu spoke louder. "All of us are dumb and stupid and young, and sometimes selfish as hell. But overall, you guys aren't that bad and I do like hanging out with you all. I really do. I just wish the terrible things that happened didn't happen." Then, to themself, "And I didn't have to bear with it."

"What about the Overblots? Did they also affect you?" Jamil asked.

"Yes, but you all weren't in the right state of mind when they happened and I don't think it's fair to fault you guys for whatever you did while in that state. That goes for the rest of you, too."

Yuu rubbed the back of their neck, looking down. "But if I'm being completely honest, I've had night terrors that sometimes woke Grim and I up from me screaming."

"Ah--" they waved their hands frantically--"you don't need to worry, though! I already talked to the counselor about them. Heh, you should've seen his face when I came in telling him about the seventh Overblot and the dreams from it. He was actually ready to give the headmaster a piece of his mind. 'You shouldn't have to go through things like that!' he said. Come to think of it, that was pretty unprofessional, so kudos to me, I guess."

"Yuu, that's. . ." Epel trailed off, a little concerned.

"I know. It's terrible. At least I got some good techniques for managing nightmares."

They slowly sighed. "I think that's all from me, although I really should apologize for airing out dirty laundry at a time like this. If no one has anything to say to me, we can go back to talking about saving Grim."

"Actually, there's something I want to say."

All eyes went to Jamil. "I've been meaning to tell you this after my Overblot, but I was waiting for the right moment to do it properly. Considering what we're about to face, this might be that moment, even if it isn't as formal as I want it to be. Yuu, I'm sorry for forcing you into a highly stressful situation when you needed to rest, and for the way I got you involved. You didn't deserve to go through the ordeal, especially when an Overblot occurred."

He bowed deeply. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I'm sorry for what I did."

"I'm sorry as well," Azul said. "For being insensitive to your housing situation and the vulnerabilities and difficulties of being someone outside of this world. It wasn't truly fair to you, someone who had to deal with power imbalances and the cruelties of those with power." He took off his hat and held it over his chest as he bowed.

"I'm also sorry, Yuu," Riddle said. "I'm deeply ashamed by my actions at the beginning of the school year and I'm sorry that it still hurts so much. I hope that one day that pain no longer torments you and no one ever looks at you like you have nothing to offer."

When he straightened himself up a moment later, Yuu looked like they were on the verge of crying.

"Are you okay?!" he asked, panicked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." A stray tear fell and Yuu wiped their eyes, then they smiled at each of them.

"Thank you, all of you," they said. There seemed to be a shift in their demeanor: somehow, they seemed brighter and their shoulders seemed less stiff, like a cumbersome burden had been lifted.

This look suits them better, the boys thought.

Finally, after a little more back and forth, Yuu was allowed to go with the group to save Grim--on the condition that they stayed far, far away. That was fine with them; they just needed to see for themself that everything would work out.

"Yuu."

They were trailing behind the group, looking through their bag. Apparently, Leona had been trailing behind the group too. "Yeah?"

". . . I'm sorry." They blinked, surprised.

"About wha--" The botanical garden and in Savanaclaw Dorm during the investigation of the mysterious injuries. "Is it for the first time we met and when you beat up my friends? I'm going to be honest, I almost forgot about them with everything happening."

"So I didn't need to say it?" He wasn't angry.

"No, no. I actually do appreciate it. It was pretty terrifying, when you said you were going to take my tooth, when I literally woke up in another world without knowing what the heck was happening. Not to mention, being at risk of another beat down when I was already dealing with threats and assholes."

"Yeah, yeah, you needed some mercy, which not a lot of people at school can give," he said.

"Yeah, but at least there are people in this school who know when to own up to something and apologize for it. So, thank you."

He met Yuu's smile with a smirk. "Sure, just don't mention it to the others."

They scoffed, smile still present. "Let me guess, to keep up the merciless princely front, right?"

They had just started walking when Leona called for them again.

"Hey. Earlier, when you said you thought we all didn't think you were worthy enough to stand beside us and had been tolerating you the entire time--don't ever assume that again."

Yuu was taken aback by his hard, pointed glare. "You're in a different position compared to your first day here, and everyone can see it. Even if they can't, it doesn't mean that you're not deserving of your place. If you need me to spell it out for you, here: you're worth all the effort you made to get to where you are now. Don't ever let anyone--even the people you idolize--make you forget that or make you lose your progress."

Their mouth had fallen open. "I. . ."

"Come on, I can see your friends worrying about you."

"Uh--" Leona had started walking and Yuu quickly matched his steps. "Thank you," they said.

He hummed in acknowledgment.

Yuu was alone on the battlefield.

No no no! How did that happen?! Yuu was hidden behind a column, last he saw. . . before getting hit with a spell that made him lose his breath.

Damn it!

"Prefect!" he cried. "Get out of there!"

Other yells joined his, but Yuu didn't glance at any of them. Not too far was Grim, shaking off the effects of a spell. His glowing blue eyes narrowed as they locked onto Yuu and a growl rumbled out of his maw. The Ramshackle Prefect met his gaze evenly and their shoulders were relaxed, like they knew he wouldn't actually hurt them.

Grim let out a dual-toned bark. They didn't flinch.

He lowered himself to the ground. . . and leaped.

"Yuu!"

"Prefect!"

Yuu felt warm air huffing onto their face. They slowly opened their eyes and found themself face to nose with Grim's snout. They looked at his eyes and found no traces of anger, which had been present throughout the fight with the NRC mages. That was when they realized he was whining like a sad dog.

"Grim?" they softly said.

"I'm sorry." There were two voices speaking simultaneously. The louder one was low and dark; the quieter one was much higher and a little nasally, exactly like Grim's normal voice. "I didn't want you to go and I broke the Dark Mirror. Now you'll never see your family again."

Yuu felt tears welling up in their eyes. The despair upon seeing the shattered frame and glass shards pulsed in their chest.

"I knew how much you wanted to go home, but I. . . I couldn't stop myself from blowing up. I wanted you to be next to me when I become a great mage. I didn't want to be alone again. But I ruined everything, and I'm so sorry."

Yuu gently touched his snout. "I know, and I know you didn't mean to ruin anything. But at least everyone is still alive. And while another way is being searched, at least you'll be able to keep me company in Ramshackle Dorm."

Big drops of tears slipped down Grim's face and created dark trails on his fur. His sobs echoed in the space around them.

He began to shrink. The chimeric parts of him--the hands, the snake-shaped tail, the wings--morphed and disappeared. The flaming mane extinguished. Very soon, Yuu was able to wrap their arms around him and he could burying his face into their shirt and cling onto them.

Their friends and upperclassmen gathered around.

"Thank goodness it's over," Ace said, sighing.

"I'm glad everything worked out in the end," Kalim said cheerily.

"Not quite. Grim still needs to face the headmaster and S.T.Y.X. for what he's done," Jamil said.

"He's going to need someone to be by his side when they happen," Yuu said, petting Grim's head. "I'm staying here for a while, so it'll be just like usual."

[hellsite-detective]

HIII OMG HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?? HOWS LIFE?

OH THIS REMINDS ME I NEED TO DO A LIFE UPDATE POST

so i guess i’ll do that here hehe

hello all! this is Hellsite Detective, P.P.I. coming back to give everyone a proper update on everything!!

now, i sorta started this hiatus kinda suddenly, and i still don’t know when i’ll be back (so sorry for that btw i feel baaad), but things have been… interesting to say the least! my job has been going okay, but it’s really stressful and it hasn’t been ideal for my mental health. but im pushing through it! i need the money so i can finally move out of my parents house!

and on the topic of mental health… my therapy has been going great!!! there’s still a long way to go, but at the very least our experiences were validated by a licensed professional!!! i won’t get into the details here, but if you’re curious feel free to ask about it! i don’t mind talking about it, especially now that it’s official hehe

but besides that, i’ve just been relaxing! i’ve collected more yuri manga! i need to get to actually reading it now tho oops. i’ve also gotten back into Stardew Valley!! i’ve been having a blast discovering all the new things from 1.6 as well as hanging out with my pixel girlfriend Penny! additionally, i’ve made great progress on my novel series, as well as beginning to develop a WataOshi AU, so overall my writing has been going wonderfully too!!!

i think overall life has been good!! i have my dear @hellsite-hall-of-fame to thank for keeping me sane and happy (i love you sweetie~!) and i think everything is gonna be okay! again, im still not sure when ill be back, but i will be one day!! i’ve been seeing all of your requests, and sometimes i see one that just gets me itching to get back into it. so i’m sure one day ill be back! i promise!

until then, feel free to ask me about life, or about my interests, or just to check in and say hi! i haven’t expressed this sentiment yet i don’t think, but i absolutely love discussing non-post case related things on here! everyone on here is genuinely so wonderful!! so please feel free to send in any ask you want!!! i would love to talk to everyone more about stuff, and this hiatus is a great opportunity to do that!!

but that’s all for now! thank you for sticking with me, thank you for being so patient, and you all have a great day!

signed,

- Hellsite Detective, P.P.I.

[sabrinahawthorne]

What's Happening in 2025

I think it's time for an update, and a tentative schedule for the coming year - so let's do that.

Games

Development on CLASH! really slowed down in the latter half of 2024, and while the reasons for that are by and large out of my direct control, I still feel a little bad for not speaking about it for so long.

I am still working on CLASH! - promise. The state of the game is that I'm working around a design challenge (regarding Techniques and how they relate to Fighter customization) by dissecting the game to a more bare-bones version and playtesting the parts that need tweaking until I can iron out those wrinkles. Once I've made some progress with that issue, I'm going to start fitting more pieces back onto the system, playtesting as I go, and putting out further playtest materials.

I don't think I'm going to finish CLASH! in 2025. Looking back, I definitely bit off more than I could chew in trying to complete it in 2024. A project of even this relatively small scope is orders of magnitude more complex than something like Broke Wizards. So in 2025, I'm going to pace myself with it. It's still going to be my focus, so don't worry, especially if you contributed to its crowdfunding campaign. 2025 will have goodies for you, even if the game itself probably won't be done. But I'm going to give the book the time and care it deserves.

But it isn't going to be the only thing I plan on making this year! I've got a handful of lighter things I want to put out. For one, I really want to release supplements for Broke Wizards. Adventure modules, mainly, but I've also got and idea for a magical items supplement with some new rules for crafting and the like.

This year will probably see a new Yon release as well! It's going to look pretty different from A Tyrant's Throne, and it's an exciting prospect.

Keep an eye out through the year. You'll like what I've got coming.

Public Appearances

That's such a bizarre thing to be posting about. Anyway.

The only certain event I'll be at is an episode of the Dovecote with @darlingdemoneclipse! I had a blast my first time, and it made my day when Eclipse offered me another go. I'll be on the show on the 27th of January, and I hope you'll join us.

A less certain prospect is a possible appearance on @tinytablepodcast. As of this posting, Broke Wizards has made it to the second round of voting as a submission for the show! If it wins, then the wonderful folks there will do me the amazing honor of playing my game. You should join their Patreon and vote to get my game a place on the show. And to support the show, of course. They make good stuff. If they end up playing it, then I'll make an appearance for a post-mortem Q&A!

I'm very excited about the possibility, but you should listen to the Tiny Table podcast regardless.

Other Stuff

The bad news is that I'm going to be focusing a little less on writing in 2025. Not ignoring it completely - hopefully the Games section of this update is proof of that - but a little.

The good news is that I'm doing some teaching this year! I won't go into too much detail right now, but the gist is that in 2024, I was given the opportunity to teach game design to beginner designers, and I'm going to take the gig. It's nothing prestige, mind. This is a recurring job at a local arts center, and I'm by no means an expert in this field (at least compared to some peers of mine). But I do have experience as a self-taught designer, and I'm honored and delighted to have the opportunity to give new designers a jumping-off point.

Relatedly, I'm going to be spending a lot of time this year introducing new players to RPGs. This, too, is also going to be a thing local to where I live, so if you follow me you probably won't hear a lot about it. But I'm excited about it, so I'm talking about it.

A Personal Note

You no doubt know this already, given how I have been - and will be - posting about it, but I'm having surgery this summer! It's nothing serious, and it's obviously not urgent. But it's something I've needed done for a while, and it'll be the end of several long-standing issues for me.

What you also certainly know by now is that I'm holding a sale to raise funds for that surgery for the next six months. All my games are included in it, and anything I release before it's over will be added to it. I'm also pushing my ko-fi during that time.

Needless to say, I probably won't be doing much from July to September this year. Not nothing, but not a lot, either.

Thank you all for the support you've shown me this year. It doesn't go unnoticed. Happy new year.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Day 2 of falling back in love with my book

Question of the day: Should I restructure?

If you missed part one, my book had been rejected by everyone I submitted it to and I had to take a break from writing it for a while because it was a very draining process but via writing in a pressure-free environment (mostly tumblr and ao3) I feel that I've improved my writing greatly and I want to edit, hone, and rework my book until it's the best version of itself it can be and is ready to be shared with the world.

So, on restructuring: I'm starting to think that the outline of my book needs to be completely redone, keeping the flesh of most scenes but in different orders or in a new format, so I'm experimenting with possible new/slightly twisted versions of the premise that practically feel like au's and is very interesting to think about. Today I'm planning on watching some videos about writing openers and considering what about my current opener I do and don't like, hoping that it will lead me down a bit of a rabbit hole to either rework the opener I have with the current version of the premise or write some different options for twisted versions of the current premise and decide which one I want to be taking onwards.

I'm having a teensy dilemma over POV because the entire book is written in first person but all of my other creative writing projects (meaning fics and other original works in progress) are in third person and I've gotten a lot more comfortable writing that way than I have in first; it's making me wonder I should rewrite the entire (99k word) story in third person instead and even though I know I need to do a lot of rewriting anyway that is a daunting prospect. I don't think that I should, particularly because it's a retrospective narrative and as I've written it currently is the transcription of voice recordings made by the main character, but there's a little voice in my head saying 'ohhhh wouldn't it be so much better that way though?'. But I think I'm going to stick with the first person, unless when I start getting into it I realise that it's definitely not the right way for this story to be told.

Feel free to ask any writing related question you'd like to, including any industry ones I can do my best to answer them or direct you to good sources :)

[sabrondabrainrot]

Updates people, UPDATES!

Current progress on TSAMS, LAES, EAPS, and MASM Rambles and spoilers ahead! Click if you dare!

I've had a lot of rambly feelings on the last few eps and need to get my thoughts out into the universe.

For TSAMS: "Sun wants to throw a HALLOWEEN party! in VRChat"

WAAAGH I hope Nexus shows up at the party and is all like "Sorry my invite was lost in the mail" or something like that. EHEHEHE

So far I've been really digging the more slice of life-esque eps? I think it's cute to see what everyone is up to day-to-day. Davis makes an incredibly convincing sick sounding person btw.

Moon and Nexus meeting up again to hash it out was funny, it just felt like Moon was like "The kettle calling the pot black" in a sense? I like that he's acknowledging his mistakes and IS making work to move past it but sometimes it's hard to watch because he rebounds a lot.

He repeats mistakes a lot and he makes it about himself a lot? I know he's growing but those kind of eps do tend to waffle around in my opinion.

I really liked the Nexus vs Taurus confrontation ep. It was just really interesting. From the information provided to us as viewers Taurus is supposed to be one of the strongest Astrals and has a history of planet breaking (due to the NSP infection) but Nexus who's just been experimenting with NSP was able to harm Taurus and even escape him semi easily.

Nexus' voice even dropped, was that like NSP puberty? JK JK unless...?

Just random speculation, so like we know Sun's magic teacher came from a planet that blew up or was destroyed and now I'm wondering if it was an Astral situation? I hope Teacher Atlas doesn't turn out to be some kind of mastermind training Sun in magic that can be used to harm Astrals.

Also, Dark Sun asked Ruin "how long" and Ruin randomly picked "7 days" or a week or something like that...and I'm so curious has that happened in lore yet? Was that 7 days supposed to relate to when Dark Sun finally spoke 1-on-1 with Sun? Are we still waiting out that? I'm also extremely excited and interested in the entity that entered Sun's mind. We haven't heard hair nor hide of it but I feel like it's still there? Sun's been acting odd in the eps. Does anyone else notice a shift with him?

Also Freddy showing up to ask Sun about advice on how to managed Francine and Francine mentioning she sees Sun's magic is amazing! His magic color is now hues of yellow?!?! It's cool to know Sun radiates all different kinds of energies now.

For LAES: "Rez's Beast ATTACKS LUNAR!!! in VRChat"

OMGEEE

I love this!!! I like the entire lead up to Lunar being like almost an action hero?!? It's cool he's really coming into his role as like...the chosen one. IDK it's a trope that's fun. Lunar has a big destiny and it's cool to see it's starting to unfold more.

Lunar has been getting an essentially unique and completely unprecedented education from other Astrals. They state over and over his entire situation and existence is way too unique.

I think it's so cool how Taurus gave Lunar an ultimatum, what wasn't cool was using Earth as bait to get him to use his powers more lethally.

Taurus hit Lunar with such a good line "If I had brought anyone else, they'd be dead." It's a FAIR assessment. Lunar's biggest struggle is being selfish imo. He has to learn to see past himself. He's getting much better at it! Taurus just wanted to remind Lunar of that.

It's a very action sensei/teacher trope tbh.

Lunar having to deal with Dazzle's old creepy body is insane. The gurgling sounds are so unsettling and just create a crazy set up.

It's interesting to learn how NSP is point to SP but Taurus was able to make Nexus feel sick with his SP before Nexus anger evolved and his NSP made Taurus sick.

Lunar being injured and everyone showing up to pamper him was great. I feel like them hiding the fact Evelyn's old body is now not only reanimated but also on the loose causing violence and killing people is a bad idea and will bite them in the butts later.

I have a theory the body will approach Evelyn/Dazzle without the others know.

Oh I also saw the next ep where Sun takes the kids shopping. Adored that. when Sun spends time with the kids It's so wonderful. The Halloween shopping episode was hilarious. I think it's so funny how Jack also spends a lot of time with Sun despite being more violent towards him then he should be.

I'm also excited for Earth to get more involved! Let's see her kick some ass!

For EAPS: "Eclipse and Puppet GET EXPOSED! in VRChat"

This entire lead up so far has been great. I like the murder mystery even though it was really obvious. Bringing the dynamic of the detective was a nice surprise. I like that he just figured everything out! The eaps dimension hoppers aren't very good at hiding stuff after all.

At this point everyone in the plex knows they're from another dimension.

I also would like to add I feel horribly for Sun and Moon in EAPS because it feels like they just can't win. First, Eclipse is so unreasonably with Sun and then he set up a situation that would make Puppet uncomfortable. He set up Sun to get yelled at by Puppet and Sun + Moon, they were both sharing at the time, both got berated by Puppet over something so inconsequential.

Sun was rambling about stuff like werewolves and sparkles and it's clear anything would have made him leave or just being like "I'm not magic Eclipse lied" but no, instead we got Puppet blowing up on them and cornering them. We also get no apology.

I don't have much speculation on them. I just kind of look and turn my brain off. I hope Monty (does EAP Monty have a particular nickname?) and Ballora date they seem like they'd make a good couple. I like their mean girl dynamic.

Sometimes EAPS feels like this cheesy soap box of a drama because everyone acts like they're in a telenovella. It's this train wreck I can't look away from. XD

For MASM: "We LOST Gregory in MINECRAFT!"

Not much to add here, I think it's different that Sun in a prior ep got his intelligence souped up and turned into a world needs to be remade villain. I'm also interested over how Moon just randomly turned killer in an ep too.

I like that Moon was genuinely worried about missing Gregory. MASM just has interesting vibes. They also seemed to be kidnapped in a color puzzle ep?

I don't have anything to add other then I like the zany antics it's a great breath of fresh air from the heavy plot stuff with the other main shows. Sun feels like a feral gremlin child but I love him all the more for that.

That is all for the current brainrot report!

[thistlecatfics]

hey, sorry if this is annoying but i just found your works today and fell for them completely. your descriptions of bellatrix made my very old fixations rear their heads again. i was wondering what your current opinions are on jk rowling? i tried to look here but only really found things from before her terf-turn and that’s what i’m really interested in your thoughts on. i’m just curious and will be very grateful if you’d be considerate enough to answer

Hello! Thank you so much! Definitely not annoying and if I ever got an ask I didn't feel like answering I could very easily ignore it or delete it :)

The short answer: fuck jkr. the world will be better off when she dies.

The long answer: Yes, I feel anger towards her (see above lol), but there's also grief there. These books (and the fandom but the root is the books) helped me so much as a kid. I loved them, and it felt like I could be loved back by them. When I did EMDR therapy for my experiences of incest, I used Sirius Black as a resource to help me through one particular thread of memory and one of the themes that came up for me repeatedly during reprocessing is how much fiction and storytelling helped me survive and how grateful I am for storytellers. When I was a kid, if I was asked which celebrity I'd want to meet, I'd always pick her. She was important to me. I'm sad. I'm hurt. It feels genuinely painful to try to reconnect with some of those feelings.

Everyone likes to mock her casual post-canon reveal of Dumbledore as being gay, but that happened exactly as I was starting to come out and actually accept that I was gay, and it genuinely, genuinely mattered to me, and I'm stubbornly resisting the urge to feel embarrassed about my teenage joy and relief now.

(I always say I had some practice with this feeling of betrayal because the other book/book series which was so important to me as a kid was Ender's Game and Orson Scott Card was such an extreme, violent homophobe, but it definitely hurt more with jkr.)

(I recognize I'm gliding over the genuine fatphobia, antisemitism, sexism and racism in her writing and extra-canon world building but I do think the transphobia piece is the central one here - the area where she's doing the most acute and extreme harm.)

The embarrassing longer answer is that I'm arrogant enough that I think I could pull her back to reality (and get her out of that mold infested house) if I was given enough time with her. I'm really patient and really convincing and I have a ton of empathy for women who have experienced extreme patriarchal violence which has shaped their political views - even in a way that disconnects them from reality.

I'm also someone who is put off by how in many progressive spaces there's the dominant view that gender is a playground, not a violent system of power relations, and so I can connect with her on that point enough that I can fantasize about helping connect her to the full humanity of trans people (and also herself because by dehumanizing others we dehumanize ourselves.) (there's a lot to be said about the unique balance of wealth and whiteness and gendered trauma (and social media) as creating a potent dehumanizing force.) BUT I recognize that's just my impulse to fix and rescue and want to recreate this safe adult figure in my life and it's definitely not fucking happening lol.

(I also have a lot of feelings about how the fandom tries to deal with the problem of jkr but this is already plenty long and you only asked about my feelings about her haha.) (but yeah in general I follow the 'no financial support of her - not even a little bit. not even watching the movies on max or purchasing anything that might give her a cent.')

going to finish off with this really beautiful short piece of writing from Chinese Canadian trans woman writer Kai Cheng Thom from her book "Falling Back in Love with Being Human." Her ability to lean into empathy and love is a north star I try to follow.

[pinkpeccary]

1, 2, 9, 14, 19, 25 for the spotify wrapped asks!!!

1: Catchiest song

i'd give this to #18: Bad Day by Charlotte Sands. the chorus is fun and the beat punctuates it really well. it captures an emotion i am very familiar with (i'm upset right now and you can't make me feel better) and i've found it popping into my head when i'm in that sort of mood which a) helps surprisingly much and b) supports it's catchiness

2: A song you didn't expect to see in your top 10

i'm a little surprised by #6: every word by Animal Sun. of the four songs from them in my top 100 it's the one i discovered the latest, and i really like it but wouldn't've guessed it'd be so high.

9: Favourite lyrics of your #1 song

Make me bleed if you need to confirm that it's something I can do And I'll paint it red If you're still unsure, let me lie for a day Before they formally announce me dead When I'm gone, cast the bronze for the bust of my head To be displayed in the library Engrave that I gave my consent To be anything that anyone prefer I be

specifically it's that last line that speaks to my heart, but i think the context of the chorus as a whole is important to that.

14: A song you think is underrated

Like A Child by Mother Mother (#31). fun fact, MM was my #3 artist this year but only two songs made it into the top 100. i have a deep love for their music in general, and there are more songs i listen to, but this is one that's been resonating with me the most recently and i think it's a bit of a hidden gem based on streaming numbers compared to others on its album.

i feel like this song represents something important for me about where i am in terms of healing. the Mother Mother songs i listened to in high school was largely about depression and anger and struggle. songs like All Gone or Happy or Body or Burning Pile. then in 2018 they released It's Alright (and the rest of Dance and Cry), which timing-wise was around when i was starting to put myself back together and figure out who i was as an adult, with the ability to make my own choices. and now, Like A Child feels like a acknowledgement of progress. and importantly, a recognition that having an unhappy childhood or growing up too fast doesn't mean you can never go back. it won't be the same, but engaging with childlike wonder and joy even as an adult is still a powerful thing.

MM has a lot of bangers, but this one deserves more love imo

19: Is the most streamed song by your favourite artist your favourite of them?

now this is a hard question because it says favorite artist not top artist. which means i need to pick. i think i'd probably have to say Raynes or Noah Kahan- if it's Raynes, maybe? top song by them was Cast the Bronze at #1 and i do love it, but Second Thought (#7) might be my favorite so i'm not sure. if it's Noah Kahan it's an easy no- my favorite by him is Homesick, which was #2 last year and #21 this year. but my most streamed this year was Catastrophize at #3.

also fun fact: in the artist message for top listeners Noah Kahan called us out for having gone through "something traumatic" and said "if you're an emotionally stable person and you're listening, i would consider listening to something else" which. yeah. if it was not clear already the theme of my music listening seems to be "childhood trauma" (but in like. a normal healthy it's just a part of who i am way)

25: Favourite lyrics of your #100 song

I just turned 14 And I think this year I'm gonna be mean

for this one it's definitely this specific line and doesn't need the surrounding lines for context. i've seen this song getting clowned on more recently for being written by a trans man cringe which is weird cause it's good. i think it's interesting from a personal gender perspective because i relate to it on vibes more than actual matching experience. kind of like how mountain goats songs are somehow the most relatable when they're about hyperspecific characters in hyperspecific situations. distilled emotion or whatever.

anyways i had a lot of anger as a kid and tended to bottle it up and then explode. i also have a lot of baggage about being "nice" because it feels like a box i was put into very early on and never allowed to leave. one of the biggest healing things for me has been allowing myself to feel anger, embracing the idea of being mean, and especially in the context of being a kid.

"i think this year i'm gonna be mean." as a teenager i never knew where the anger came from. like, i knew immediate causes, but it took moving out for college to realize just how much living with my family was fucking me up on the daily. so like. idk, the idea of just. deciding to be mean. not for any reason. i just am. it's relatable.

Ask Game Here

thank you for the ask!!

[mdenvs3000w25]

Unit 10: Nature Interpretation's Role in Environmental Sustainability

Hey everyone 😊,

I can’t believe it’s our last blog post! I’m so proud of the progress I have made as an interpreter through this course so far, and am excited to see where all this knowledge 📚 will take me. Without further ado, let's get into our last blog post! 

For me, I’ve found that nature interpretation is more than just relaying facts, but that it's about creating meaningful experiences that connect people to the natural world 🌳. As I develop my skills as a nature interpreter, I recognize that my personal method is shaped by my deep appreciation for beauty, my commitment to emotional connection♥️, and my responsibility to make nature accessible and engaging for all. My beliefs, responsibilities, and preferred approaches all intertwine to form the foundation of my interpretive style!

One of my core beliefs is finding beauty in everything. Whether it's a huge oak tree 🌲 or a tiny insect 🪲 crawling along its bark, I believe that every part of nature has something to offer us! This perspective aligns with the principle from our textbook in Chapter 5, that “The effective interpreter will use the tangible elements of the place—plants, rocks, streams, wildlife—to advance intangible meanings associated with them” (Beck et al., 2018). I see interpretation as a way to help others uncover the hidden beauty in nature 🌸, even in the smallest details. By highlighting the connections between the physical world and the emotions or values we attach to it, I hope to develop a deeper appreciation for the environment 🌺! Another belief I bring is the importance of emotional depth 🧠 in interpretation. Facts and figures are valuable, but they don’t always leave a lasting impact. Instead, people remember how something made them feel ♥️. Do you think emotional connection or scientific knowledge is more important in nature interpretation? Why? I strive to recognize the mental models that visitors bring with them and present information in a way that resonates with their personal experiences. As noted in Chapter 6 of our textbook, “To best relate to and serve visitors, the interpreter must strive to recognize the mental models that visitors possess and to present information in those terms” (Beck et al., 2018). For me, this means I need to be adaptable and open-minded 😊, tailoring my approach to each audience! Whether it’s evoking wonder in a child seeing their first frog 🐸 or sparking nostalgia in an older visitor recalling childhood hikes, emotional connections make interpretation more meaningful! Journaling ✍️ is another significant part of my interpretive thinking. I have always loved to document my experiences in nature, whether through writing, sketching, or collecting observations 🍂. This habit helps me slow down, notice details I might have otherwise missed, and reflect on what I’ve learned. Journaling is also an excellent tool for others. As Chapter 9 of the textbook explains, “Participants go beyond merely seeing to making deeper, more detailed observations. Journaling causes people to notice things. And it appeals to natural curiosity, love of drawing, and joy of discovery” (Beck et al., 2018). By encouraging others to journal, I hope to help them develop a stronger, more personal connection to the natural world 🌍!

With these beliefs in mind, I recognize that I have important responsibilities as an interpreter. One of my primary responsibilities is to show others how amazing the world is. People won’t care about protecting nature 🌳 if they don’t first appreciate it, and it’s my job to facilitate that appreciation 😊! Chapter 7 states, “Interpreters are guided by the understanding that if audience members have not learned, seen, or felt something, then interpreters have been talking to themselves” (Beck et al., 2018). This reminds me that my work isn’t just about what I find interesting, but about what resonates with my audience. If I’m not making a connection 🌐 with them, I need to adjust my approach. Another key responsibility is to make nature’s beauty ♥️ digestible and accessible for everyone. Not everyone has a background in ecology 🕸️ or an innate love for the outdoors, and that’s okay. My goal is to present information in a way that is engaging and easy to understand, regardless of someone’s prior knowledge 📖! This might mean telling a story to make a scientific concept more relatable, incorporating hands-on 🤝 activities for those who learn best by doing, or simply making sure that my tone is welcoming rather than intimidating 😊!

As I continue developing as an interpreter, I recognize that my personal style will be shaped by my strengths 💪 and preferences. One approach that suits me well is telling stories 📖! People are naturally drawn to stories, and I find that weaving information into a narrative makes it more memorable! Instead of simply stating that a certain plant 🌱 has medicinal 💊 properties, I might tell the story of how Indigenous communities have used it for centuries or share a personal anecdote about the first time I saw it in the wild. Another approach that I have enjoyed is hands-on engagement! I’ve always learned best by doing, and I know many others do too! Encouraging others to touch, smell 👃, and interact with nature makes the experience more immersive! Additionally, I like to use beauty, and being appreciative of it, to guide me. Sometimes, the best way to inspire people is simply to let them experience the magic 🔮 of nature. This might mean stepping back and allowing others to observe 👀 a breathtaking sunset or idea! By fostering moments of pure wonder, I hope to leave lasting impressions that extend beyond the moment of interpretation! Lastly, relating nature to my life is another key 🔑 strategy for me. Many people feel disconnected from the environment because they see it as something separate from their daily lives. However, nature is everywhere, even in urban settings 🏡! I want to help people see these connections, whether it’s pointing out the pollinators 🐝 that make their morning coffee ☕ possible or explaining how trees improve air quality in their neighborhood! What methods have you found most effective in engaging others who are not naturally interested in nature?

As I grow as a nature interpreter, my personal ethics will continue to evolve, but my core values will remain the same. How do your personal values or background shape the way you interpret nature for others? I believe in finding beauty in everything, creating emotional connections, and encouraging deeper observations through journaling. I recognize my responsibility to make nature accessible, engaging, and meaningful for all audiences 😊. I embrace approaches that emphasize telling stories 📚, connecting with others, and real-life relationships♥️. Ultimately, my goal as an interpreter is not just to share knowledge, but to inspire curiosity, appreciation, and a sense of wonder! If I can help even one person see the world differently, then I will have done my job well!

I’ve had such a blast these last couple weeks reading everyone’s thoughts and ideas! I’m so excited to read what everyone has written this week.

Maia 😊

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage : for a better world. Sagamore Venture.

[rigelmejo]

Chinese listening experiment 435 hours, a couple more small notes:

1. I listened to a Beijing University Abnormal Psychology lecture today on bilibili. Just 5 minutes. But I understood those 5 minutes! That's progress to me, as around a month ago I first bookmarked that lecture and only understood isolated words and phrases.

2. It continues to fascinate me how much... learning new stuff in another language, is just like learning it in my native language. I mean that makes sense, its obvious, i should have guessed. And yet I find myself surprised. Now when I pick up new words, like 行为 i just hear the word, my mind makes an automatic guess it means "behavior" or "personality" then I look it up to confirm okay it means "behavior", then I move on. Just like how as a preteen and all through my teen years I did that process with SO many words in novels and fanfic. I made a guess at what it meant, looked it up to confirm if I kept wondering (vermillion, angst, macabre, melancholic are some English words I distinctly remember looking up definitions for online), then moved on. That's how quick/relaxed the process was. Versus when I initially start studying a language like Chinese (or French etc before), and look up word lists and translations and use flashcards or review multiple times, make up mnemonic stories to help remember words sounds. Versus now where words like 行为 i already have something to hold onto, memories of other words with 行 in them and their associations, memories of 为 and it's associations. There's just a LOT more background information I can connect to brand new words nowadays, versus at the beginner stage. All that background information helps with remembering new stuff. Like how as a teen, I may have taken a while to remember macabre but I knew morte was "death" and so somehow my nind linked the m beginning of macabre to morte and murder = death related (regardless of if thats actually a real link between macabre and morte and murder, or just me making up connections to remember) and that helped me remember what macabre meant.

3. I have noticed significant progress on audiobooks in the last 30 hours. I feel like if i FULLY listened, i'd be understanding ALL of these brand new story (to me) audiobooks I'm trying to listen to. Or at least the main ideas of scenes, easily, if perhaps missing some details still. But because I suck at paying full attention, and am listening partially, I keep catching scenes quite clearly then losing the plot or some details then "tuning in" for a later scene. SCI feels MILES EASIER than it did 100 hours ago, but with partial attention I still am missing some details I wanted to catch. I find it much easier now to identify names, and follow dialogue sections. I find it much easier now to notice when objects are interacted with, or the setting changes and what to. I tried a totally new BL audiobook, An Ping was one of the main characters, and there was a coffin and puppets/dolls and dead people, it sounded interesting enough I wanted to keep listening! But because I was partially listening, i missed a ton of set up/details, so i wanted to relisten to the beginning. For the Wu Zhe novel audiobook today, i caught the lead characters names, them living in dorms, someone having a rival/opponent, someone having a concerned parent, and also picked up enough of the plot to be curious what happened next - but since I was paying partial attention, im sure i missed some side character names. So that's 2 audiobooks with brand new plots to me, and I could follow the main idea of the story with partial attention, but not all the details I want! I'd need to pay full attention (just like in English if i'm being honest) to get all/most of those details in Chinese. So mm I'll need to think about what I want to do, how to do it... do I listen to novels I'm okay getting only the main idea of, and save novels I'm particularly excited about for later? Or do I just listen to the novels I wanted to now, knowing I can always listen again in the future if I want to understand more details?

4. I've switched to using more cartoons. Very enjoyable. Now that cartoons are easier and dont take any more focus than an English cartoon for kids, its easy to put one on in the background as I do what I'd normally do, and I get some nostaglic feelings as a bonus. I watched more Lilo and Stitch today, and Atlantis The Lost Empire. Which: blows my MIND how much easier watching Atlantis was today, compared to Peter Pan at like 200 hours. Huge improvement!!! I have to savor these kinds of improvements or I'll feel so stagnant and like i'm not progressing. Cartoons really are eons easier than when I started this.

[alvfr]

can i ask how long have you been writing? it blows my mind how good it is. you are very gifted and we’re all so lucky to get to read your works for free and i really hope you publish something big one day

also do you have any tips for new writers? i’ve been writing intermittently for some time but i still find it so hard not to compare myself and get bummed out or discouraged when there’s writing like yours out there 💔

Ps: I’m loving all the snippets of everything you’ve posted. keep up!

Oh, probably forever? I mean, I was making up stories before I could write and made small books by hand before I could type and I remember using my grandfather's clunky old laptop to painstakingly write my first "real" stories after I started school.

I started writing in English when I was probably 12-13 years old though and I'm 30 now so it's been a while. I posted some stuff on Quizilla back in the day (which oddly wasn't fanfic, but original stories), and I posted my first story on FFN when I was around 20 years old I think?

I go through periods of time where I write a lot and then I don't write at all for a while, mostly because real life gets in the way or something drains my creative energy. Like I couldn't write more than one sentence at a time the first year after I had my baby. Not because I didn't have time, but because the baby took all my focus and I did not have anything leftover to be creative.

Anyway, I think my best tip for new writers is just to write a lot. Like allow yourself to practice, to be bad, to experiment, to learn - just like you would any other hobby, you know? I have posted more than 1 million words on AO3, but I probably have more than twice that much that I'm never going to post that's just collecting dust in my dropbox. And that's fine! It's just practice!

Right now, I'm trying to re-learn how to write in my own language again (Norwegian) because it sounds awkward and weird to my ears and that is probably because I haven't written in Norwegian since I left high school - I need to practice.

Also, be careful comparing your first draft with someone else's finished product. I don't spend too much time editing my fanfics (because it takes the fun out of it and I never make progress), but even I re-read my writing a few times and change phrasings here and there to make it flow better. I personally like to read everything out loud (making funny voices during dialogue) to catch if it flows how I want it to flow.

Another tip is to read a lot. Preferably published books, but fanfiction too. I'm a bit weird here because I can't read fanfiction for the fandom I'm writing for and that is just because I know I will start to compare myself to others and be discouraged, just like you mentioned. Both when it comes to writing style and level of engagement. I mean, some fics have 1000s of notes or kudos/comments and I start wondering how bad my writing is because it doesn't get the same response. At one point, I almost wished someone would post a bad review of my story because it would have felt better than the complete radio silence I received. Truth is, I think engagement is mostly related to coincidence. Summaries, tags and format matters, of course, but after that it's just down to luck. If you're lucky, your story will find its readers and if you're especially lucky, those readers will let you know that they liked it :)

I'm wary of reading nothing but fanfiction though because we fanfic writers tend to get influenced by each other and use a lot of the same expressions, I think. There's a reason I never have characters smirk, chuckle or hum anymore because I'm still traumatized by how much I used that when I started writing. It's bad enough with how much eyebrow quirking and raising I manage to add in a single story. Also when it comes to characterizations, I try to stay true to the source material, but it's easy to mistake fanon for canon when you read too much of the same stuff.

Sorry, this got super long. I'm just sorry to hear that you're discouraged, especially because I am the exact same way when it comes to comparing myself to others. We are our own worst critics, but I highly encourage you to keep writing! I cringe when I look back at my first stories, but I would never have improved if I hadn't written those stories in the first place :)