#i think i kept like a couple up that i liked the compositions of too much to scrap

[fingertipsmp3]

I genuinely get too nervous when something goes wrong in the sims. I need to do a really chaotic challenge to get out of my comfort zone

[zeyris-daydreams]

The Silent Overture; # Fugue [1/4]

Yandere Sunday x Reader.

Part 1 of [The Silent Overture].

General synopsis; don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Or do, and suffer the consequences.

Pay attention to the warnings in the link above, reading it will help you understand the events of this story. Stay hydrated, but most importantly, stay elated!

1. Music

a contrapuntal composition in which a short melody or phrase (the subject) is introduced by one part and successively taken up by others and developed by interweaving the parts.

2. Psychiatry

a loss of awareness of one's identity, often coupled with flight from one's usual environment, associated with certain forms of hysteria and epilepsy.

You haven’t had many expectations. Your legs felt weak from prolonged lack of movement, like bags of sand dragging behind you with each step. You had to wake- you had to wake up.

The ache in the back of your skull persisted, washing down your body in a steady rhythm, pulsing like a tumor. You hated that persistent feeling. The presence of the wall on your fingers was dull, texture hardly registered as you glared towards the neverending traffic on the streets of Penacony. As of now, all that remained was your overbearing urge to vomit — alongside the street light right around the corner. It still was too bright, the back of your eyes in constant pain.

You chose to remain in the alleway, deciding that it wasn’t worth risking being seen by any of the guards. The shadows kept you hidden well enough, and so there was no risk of being spotted from a distance. It didn’t mean however you could just sit here.

You had no time to spare. Each hour that passed worsened the withdrawal at the price of better bodily sensation - like a drug that you were relying on without your own consent.

Your knees nearly bent under the weight of your body, other hand clutching your chest. A hiss escaped you when your bare knees hit the unforgiving ground. You were faintly aware of the cold sweat sticking to your forehead, and the feeling of fire from the inside - it felt like a furnace in there.

Any other person within this “sweet” dream would have woken up at the hotel, but not you, no. Perhaps if you launched yourself to a driving by vehicle, maybe then-

No. If you failed, that would alert the Bloodhound guards. And then - you’d be back to square one. The clothes you donned wouldn’t help the hit much anyway - something unspecified that hung over your body, and socks. Like a mockery of a pyjama - that and underwear.

Your hair stuck to your forehead and you pushed it away to see better - surroundings blurring together.

How long were you hiding here? A day, maybe…? While you traversed a very short distance, it was as though your body was getting ready to go down. It was distasteful, to turn into such a pathetic rag after being regarded so highly once. Once.

As of now, you were deemed dead.

Your breath came in and out in short specks, chest unable to expand fully and constrict fully - akin to an experience of breathing while sleeping.

Self loathing and compassion in your mind were brought to a stop by a hand on your shoulder. The grip was firm, enough to have you tense, jerking your head back. An older man - a bloodhound - alerted you. His brown hair was brushed from his face by his hand. “You okay?”

It didn’t look like you were in trouble, but—

“Yes.” Maybe your tone wasn’t as convincing, and you gripped your head at another wave of a headache. ’You will speak when I allow you to. You will look at me when you speak.’

The man took the cigarette out of his mouth, brow raising. “I don’t think so.”

As you cleared your throat and opened your mouth to speak, the pain persisted. But you had to prevail. After weeks of biding your time and waiting for a chance, you couldn’t— you could not mess this up. “I’m not.. help.. help me..”

He put the cigarette out on the wall, a soft ‘hiss’ as the ashes crumbled to the floor. The item was discarded into a large bin nearby. Meanwhile your body nearly collapsed, and the man caught you by your arms. Silently at first, he pulled you up to your feet. “Let’s not stay out here.”

Your legs followed mindlessly, feet scrambling over the pavement as he led you along. When you walked forward, he looked at you from the side, before continuing on. Your head hung low the entire time, only aware of how the tips of your toes scraped at the ground below with each horrible drag, and how you weren’t pulled out into the bustling street.

The exhaustion was only setting in - the adrenaline having long worn off. You found that the effects of harmony could prolong for days, weeks, months. It was like a never ending source within your mind; once a cancer sets in, it’s unlikely to ever eradicate it fully.

Maybe that’s why your perception of time was so utterly out of place, and you haven’t even realised you’ve already walked through a doorway.

As you tipped your head to look up, you squeezed your eyelids together, your mouth feeling dry. The migraine was ever-present, photophobia only serving to enlarge its effect — making everything look impossible to distinguish. The room looked white, spare for rougher edges of furniture before your vision sharpened. The shapes were clearer and clearer, and you found yourself within an office. One that Bloodhound’s probably worked from, as you’ve seen many alike months ago.

“Name’s Gallagher, by the way.”

He stepped to the desk, using his foot to pull the chair back, before lightly guiding you onto it. Gallagher stepped back, headed for the joint room of this office.

Sat like that you slouched, ignoring the way your throat tightened. ‘You ought to sit properly’, but who cared about that now? You watched your trembling hands, laid on top of your lap. The fingers shook, hot and cool at the same time. The waters of harmony swayed inside you, and the coldness of the outside chilled your weary shell.

You wore close to nothing after all.

The chair you leaned against brought some comfort to your sore muscles. It took a lot of work to even get moving, and like so it took even more effort to keep in motion. The amount of energy you used on even lifting yourself up previously was taking its toll now, your limbs entirely relaxing, dragging your weight down on the chair. A weary sigh left you.

It was the only moment you had to recall the previous event —waiting until the harmony didn’t rest so heavily upon the back of your brain, just to throw it off your mind and body like a weighted blanket you had enough of.

All that effort, and you still didn’t even leave penacony. It must’ve been over a day-

When Gallagher came back, you didn’t bother to look behind, feeling your shoulders be wrapped in a blanket. You welcomed it, grabbing the edges to pull them over yourself properly. “Thanks..”

He murmured something to himself about ‘troublesome young dreamers’, before he sat on the chair behind his desk. Only then did you briefly meet his gaze, noticing he placed a cup of water in front of you. “Drink, kid”

While you wanted to scoff, you merely reached for the paper cup, both hands gripping onto it to bring it to your mouth. Given your expertise, you should have checked the contents. Yet your eyes closed and you tipped your head, greedily downing the contents in huge gulps. Small stream of water ran down the corner of your mouth, dripping onto your skin and some on your plan white shirt. Not plain anymore. Wandering about for hours surely made it disorderly. Oh how he’d hate it.

Only when the cup was empty did you put it down on the table, and - as it was nearly weightless - almost knocked it off the darkened wood of the desk. ‘Officer Gallagher’ the decor on the desk read, showing his elevated position within the hierarchy.

You were cooked. What if you’d been recognised? If they had found out you—

The Bloodhound leaned back in his chair, fingers intertwined together in thought. “What were you doing, out and about?“ It was a matter-of-fact question, one to ask a thief when you were certain of their guilt. Then again, maybe not. Usually the guards don’t find people in your condition. Your eyes were growing weary, but you tried to keep your gaze trained on the desk. Yet your eyelids fell shut, and you opened them once more.

No one would believe you if you said the truth. And if they did, you’d doom yourself more than necessary. He was doing you a favour by not seeking further justice, if you exposed him, you’d expose yourself—

“I don’t-“ Your throat suddenly tightened, “-remember. I’m.. sorry.”

Gallagher thought for a moment, studying you. You couldn’t judge from his expression whether or not he bought that excuse, so you swallowed the thick saliva that pooled in your mouth. Your vision felt strange, everything swimmed. The air in your chest felt hot and dry.

As you blinked you could swear that the bloodhound’s outfit was grey for mere seconds. You were clearly losing it, your vision doubling.

”—Injury maybe, I just can’t remember.” ‘You won’t speak of it to anyone, lest it is to find your way to me.’

Before you spun more elaborate excuses, he waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing to be done about that.”

Your skull felt heavy, threatening to smash into the desk in front of you. Something was off, something was out of place—

It took all your strength to not slide onto the desk, fists tightening on your lap. Reality and tiredness blurred into one. The man stood, and your eyes snapped open again, revealing hints of his now lighter hair.

“It’s not like elaborate tales were ever your strong suit, dove.” You knew that voice, trying so hard to keep your eyes open. Your hand flew to the desk, grabbing the edge to keep you upright. Through your half lined gaze you saw the - now halovian - man regard you.

His clothes were pristine as always, yours— not so much. He oh so lightly and gracefully lifted himself from the seat in all his damned might, hand on the wood as he took a step. “Can’t even do your job right, how..”

The halovians gloved hand held his chin, and he pretended to look for a word he already knew. “..utterly pathetic. The only thing you were good at was laying in soft cushions and being useless.”

His voice carried a sense of mockery. Your elbow bent, having your upper body lean onto the desk. Your mouth opened, but no words came out. Sunday walked around the desk slowly, his shoes sounding out in an already similar way. Steadily he approached your side. His words felt like spoken through a blanket, everything so pleasant and fuzzy.

”But the charade is over, doll. You’re coming back to me.”

Sunday’s hand placed itself on your head, giving it an almost mocking pet, before everything went dark.

[lovebugism]

shy!reader wiggling her way into eddie lap bc she had a hard day 😫

You don’t know how to tell Eddie you miss him.

He’s sitting in bed right next to you, scribbling down notes in a worn composition notebook. You don’t even know why you miss him, only that the couple of inches separating you from him feels cavernous.

You don’t know what to say, so you sigh. A big, deep exhale that makes your chest deflate like a popped balloon. It’s sort of what you feel like, anyway.

Eddie’s chin brushes his shoulder as he turns to you, chocolate eyes wide beneath his clear-framed glasses. 

He knows that certain sounds mean certain things, kind of like a baby’s cry. You don’t know what you want a lot of the time — you know less how to express that you don’t know what you want — so Eddie’s learned to read you like a book. Most of the time, he knows what’s going on in your head before you do.

But the grieving breath you let out now is too ambiguous for him to understand. It’s too soft to be one of frustration, too drawn out to be contentment. He decides to check the boxes.

“Are you hungry?” he murmurs.

You shake your head in response, focusing on the book in your hand but not any of the words.

“Sleepy?” he asks. “‘Cause I, for one, could totally go for a nap right now, princess.”

You shake your head again, smiling a little this time at his word choice.

“Bored?”

Another head shake.

Eddie gives up. “A feeling neither of us can name because we don’t know what it is?”

You nod.

“I don’t think it even existed before now,” you mutter, half-joking.

The boy laughs. His pink lips match the apples of his cheek. You don’t know how to tell him you want to press your faces together until you’re made of the same vibrant colors he is.

“Is it cabin fever, you think? I’ve kept you hostage here for, like, two days now. Maybe you’re gettin’ sick of me.”

“You’re not holding me hostage. I asked to come over,” you remind him, giggling softly to yourself. “And I could never get sick of you, Eds. You know that.”

You lean over to nudge his shoulder with your own. Instead of sitting back up again, you linger just against him. You find you feel a lot better now, finally touching him. The gnawing feeling is less loud but still there.

Eddie smiles in silent understanding. “Wanna hug?”

A beat passes. You feel a little bit lame for wanting it so desperately. You nod anyway.

Eddie sighs as he sets his notebook on the mattress beside him. It’s not an unhappy one. It’s not an underwhelmed one, either. It’s just a breath, really — a clean, deep inhale-exhale he can finally take, knowing you’re about to be in his arms.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he ushers with his arms spread open. “My body’s always free real estate for you.”

“Ew,” you giggle at the unintentional connotation, sliding closer to him. You duck your burning face away from his in attempts to hide the wide smile on your mouth. Eddie sees it anyway and grins back.

He lazes against the headboard while you settle against his chest, one hand wedged between your bodies and the other curling around his side. You tuck your face into the curls at his neck. He smells like nicotine and floral shampoo and skunk weed. You don’t know how to tell him you need him to lay all his weight on top of you until his natural scent becomes your own.

His chin rests on the crown of your head. He smooths a hand up and down your back. “Is this what you wanted? Just needed my strong arms to feel better, huh? Is that it?”

You know he’s joking, but you don’t laugh. You shrug. “Kinda…”

“Kinda?” he echoes. His contorted face is audible. “Do you need something else?”

He’s not bothered by it, the fact that you want something more — just curious as to how he can make you feel better.

“I don’t know…” you murmur, wriggling against him like you can’t get comfortable. “It’s just… I need to be closer, I think.”

“Closer, huh?” Eddie muses, wrapping his arms more intently around you and squeezing you tight. He presses his lips to your hair. “Honestly, I don’t know if we can get any closer than this… Well. I mean, we could, but I have a feeling that’s not what you want…”

You shake your head against his chest at the implication. You need everything but the sex right now — the holding, the contact, the tangled limbs.

“No, I just… I think I just need to… I don’t know…” you mutter, almost inaudibly into his chest. You hold him tighter. “Would it be okay if I…”

Eddie’s brows raise beneath his bangs as you trail off. You’re getting better at it, at vocalizing when you need something, but the words are hard to form sometimes, and he gets it. He did fail senior year English two times, after all. 

“You don’t have to ask for anything, you know?” he assures, practically cooing, punctuating his words with a kiss to the top of your head. “Whatever you want, you can just take it. It’s all good with me, babe.”

His words give you a minimal boost of confidence. 

You part from him, lips pursed to the side of your mouth. Eddie eyes you attentively with slow and owlish blinks behind the thick lenses of his glasses. You don’t know how to tell him you want to swim in his chocolate syrup gaze or taste the stars that twinkle inside them.

“I just wanna, like…” you trail off. You never end up finishing your sentence, actually. Without words to describe the overwhelming, unnamed feeling, you just crawl into Eddie’s lap and wrap around him like a koala.

Your thighs settle on either side of his hips, arms curling around his neck as you tuck your face into his wild hair again, pressing your chest intently against his own. 

Eddie sighs into your shoulder; it trembles like a faint laugh. His palm smooths over your back, pushing you further against him until the laws of physics prevent either of you from coming any closer.

You exhale slowly. For the first time, Eddie feels you relax against him.

“Is this better?” he mumbles into your cheek.

You nod into the side of his.

Your chests move together with each of your slow, even breaths — rising for a few seconds, stilling for a moment, then falling for a couple more. You think your hearts might be beating in the same rhythm, too.

That gnawing feeling behind your ribcage turns to sunlight.

[archandshri]

28th June ‘24 - [arch] One Page Limitation??? - My process for Traffic Zine #5

Hello All!

A couple months ago, I got accepted to @trafficzine, a digital anthology of pieces by a large group of artists and writers based on the most recent season of the Life Series. I made this piece back in April, but thankfully I kept some notes of my process. 

Heads up - this contains spoilers for Secret Life :D

We were able to choose our own prompt from a list! For this project, I wanted to push my comic making - especially how to communicate a lot of information in a small space. I went through and watched a few clips from the series to see which prompt would fit a comic and settled on Scott’s death.

As usual, I began by getting some reference images and going ham on some big paper. This gets me excited about the project and helps generate ideas. I go for whatever interests me in terms of medium and subject matter, but I try to use a process that doesn’t let me control too much (in this case brush and ink)

initial sketches for fun and vibes :D

During this, I also took the time to transcribe the scene - I wanted to use the dialogue directly, and see how much I could fit into the single page that I was allowed for the zine.

In these early planning stages I make sure to do warm-up sketches to remind myself of the energy I want to communicate. This also keeps things fun and fresh so I'm not ONLY thinking about page composition and making things 'good'. (the expectation for it to be 'good' kills a project prove me wrong)

Dialogue from the clip + warm up sketches

Next up, I started to plan what panels I have on the page. At this stage, some panels might just be a box with some words, and some may have a sketch if I have a clear composition in mind. This stage is mostly for pacing and plot, so instead of focusing on what the panel and page will look like, I will think about:

what will happen in the panel

it's purpose and

what it will communicate

Sometimes I'll illustrate a string of panels that tell the story and fit them on a page after - but this depends on the project and my confidence with the size of it.

After messing around with these and coming up with a pretty clear direction, I draw a bunch of boxes to see how the panels could sit nicely together. At this stage I might realise I have too many panels, and need to cut a few or come up with a creative solution. Nothing is set in stone at this point.

sketching panel layouts

Now begins the fun! I decide on the layout I prefer and I can start putting planned compositions into the boxes. I often do this digitally, or a digital editing process will be involved.

Once planned, I print these out to do a more refined sketch over. I find that my traditional drawings have a lot more life and character to them than digital ones, so I try to keep the majority of the process traditional, with passes of scanning and digital editing.

I tried a version with her looking out at the distance - ready to face the oncoming battle. But it still felt off. So I turned to my slides to ask myself some questions!!

I tried to think of more things that were working - but I really felt like it was lacking a lot. I was going for this slower emotional feeling because that came more naturally to me, but it just wasn't working for this image. The original clip is quite rushed and chaotic - which would be harder to communicate in a comic format but the challenge interested me. Either way, I knew I wasn't happy with this direction so... i decided to start from scratch! Back to the drawing board!!!

In the previous version, I had cut out a lot of the dialogue, but I decided to go back to the original clip and use AS MUCH as possible. Since passing the bow was my favourite part of that first composition, I really wanted to lean into it as the emotional height and final goodbye before Scott's death. It's a moment to slow down and absorb the vibes :D

I made a list of panels along with their descriptions to refer to when trying to figure out the order of panels. there were SO MANY and it was VERY CONFUSING when they were too small to read.

These thumbnails were super small and would not have made sense without my list, I swear.

I printed this tiny thumbnail out at A4, so I could sketch over it and get a clearer sense of flow. Then began a loooong process of printing out tiny photocopies and rearranging the panels to be legible. It was a difficult balance of communicating busyness while making sure the hierarchy/reading order made sense.

After some tweaking, i printed out an A3 copy to draw my panel borders and text.

Doing this on a separate piece of paper means I don't have to worry so much about messing up the text or borders when drawing the characters. This allows me to be more free and expressive with my illustration.

Woah! Quick trip back in time!! During the thumbnailing process I drew these warm up sketches! I looooved the way the linework came out. I drew this on an A3 piece of paper - and the shocked Gem would, in theory, be one of the smallest panels. So I decided to do a crazy thing.

I touched up the sketch digitally, compiling some of my favourite warm up sketches, some traditional sketches made for the panels, and filling the rest in digitally. Then I printed this image out in QUATERS at A3!! This meant the final sketch layer, printed out was A1!! (aka very large, considering the final file would be at A4, about 8x smaller)

I did this so I could get fairly small detailed lines with my pencil while being quite expressive and firm with my mark-making. Slowly, I dlined all of the panels traditionally and scanned them in. Then I assembled the finished linework on Photoshop, along with the text and panel borders and got to colouring :D

final linework :D

For colouring, I played a little bit with halftone but I found the texture made it feel a bit too busy - the panels are already doing enough. Because of this, I also decided to use a limited colour palette. Here are some images of the colouring process, which I won't go into today.

I'm really happy with how this came out - I think it captures the chaos of the moment, while taking time to linger on the emotion of it. Keeping that bow moment really made it, I think.

I think the last panel is still quite weak. Earlier in the process there was a low-angle shot of Gem about to kill Scott which may have been more powerful, but I think I was struggling with my actual drawing skill when it comes to perspective. A lot of learning how to draw, and in particular with comics, is about knowing where your skills are at, how to utilise them best and how to test and push them.

I'm glad that I started again, instead of finishing that composition I wasn't happy with. It was a tough project but I learnt sooooo much from it, and it's been essential skill-building for.... the current comic I'm working on (stay tuned!!! :0) Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! Go check out @trafficzine and look at all the other cool art Cool vibes and silly men,

Archie :D

[3liza]

i get asked a lot if certain breast sizes or shapes are "normal" and let me tell you right now, the answer is basically always "yes"!

we only see one shape of breasts on tv (think C-D cup "HBO titties") and maybe two or three types in porn if you see porn, and maybe 3-4 types in contemporary and historical art. and this sucks because it makes everyone else feel like their boobs are weird. they're probably not weird.

because breasts are made mostly of fat, which is squishy and only partially influenced by muscle and skeletal attachments, they can be basically any size or shape, and they CHANGE more or less constantly throughout your life. they are sensitive to hormonal, environmental, body compositional and pressure-based influences. they will continue to change size and shape until you die. i have a mild collagen disorder which makes me stretchier than other people in some ways and my breasts will change shape visibly if i don't wear a bra for a day. some people's breasts are so dense they wouldnt move at all even if you kept them squished or pulled for many hours at a time. human fat and skin is SO malleable and variable and it's a big reason we're such an interesting-looking species.

this link is a little website with some pictures of SOME different shapes of breasts, and for as varied as it is, it's actually still very limited in scope. it's focused on helping people find bras that fit but you can ignore that part if you want and just get an idea of some different shapes boobs can be, in a non-porn and non-medical context. they can be even more shapes than this. this gallery is intentionally in b&w and has been contrast-balanced to make everyone about the same color but different breast shapes are strongly genetic and will pop up in different locales and lineages. your boobs will often resemble those of your relatives (but not always).

it takes a long time for breasts to reach their "adult" shape, and it happens closer to about age 25-27 for many people than 18-20. a lot of medical literature will repeat the claim that women are "physically mature" by the age of 15-18, and this just isn't really true. if you are on HRT, please keep in mind that the average cis woman can start experiencing hormonal puberty when she's 9-12, and major changes can keep occurring until she's 25 or older. I'm AFAB, and my boobs went through a final growth change when i was 27! and i started the first stages of puberty (way before my first period, which is called "menarche" [men-ARK-ee]) when i was about 9. that's not outside the bounds of normalcy at all, average age of first period is about 12.5 years, and puberty itself starts a few years before that.

some of the later Tanner stages are related to gravity as well as fat accumulation, and sometimes they require a certain period of time to "settle" the very high, pointy puberty breasts down into more adult breast shapes. this takes time. the timelines doctors give HRT patients about breast growth are really weird to me as someone who grew breasts myself. sometimes i see people on HRT get worried about their breast growth not being big enough or adult enough after only a couple years, when the average cis woman's breasts take much longer than that (remember: started age 9, finished age 27!!) to mature and settle, and i just want people to not worry too much. i post about this regularly because i want people to see it. I've heard from many trans women that their actual doctors told them that they would get most or all of their breast growth within 2-3 years. that's not true for everyone, possibly for most people.

and by the way, breasts are almost never perfectly symmetrical. they are sisters, not twins. most people have one breast that's visibly larger if you look closely, and often even if you don't look closely. many people have one breast that's even a cup size larger, or more. some people only grow one breast at all, and don't have fat tissue on the other side. sometimes you start with mostly-matched boobs but they become different over time. all these situations are "normal", in that they occur to many many people and are almost never related to health problems or functional concerns.

[izu]

hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3

thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it

- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute

- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me

- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them

- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads

- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy

- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi

- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi

- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight

- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights

- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing

- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois

- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still

- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.

- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej

- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.

- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10

- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included

- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot

- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him

- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all

- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.

- they host parties. they're awesome parties.

[helloanthy]

🗒️ 24.04.2024 ⋅⋅⋅ 🥀

some notes for 20.09.2023 post and a separate cut out for utena because i spent a very long time rendering her ... the original concept i had in my head for this art was very different. it was just supposed to be a style study of this an official anime prop design art, and i'd thought to draw anthy in a similar pose across from her like in the shown version, but with her wearing her prince outfit from the manga. something something another form of female competition under the patriarchyyy stop pitting 2 girlprinces against each other omg etc (side note, how sick would it have been in an AU where akio made anthy fight against utena in the ring? like i dont think it would hav added more to the story or made it better really ... probably would've diluted the message to be honest ... but everytime i see that manga art of prince anthy i imagine some convoluted black rose arc AU where utenas dodging anthy getting her hair hacked off left and right like himemiyaaa nooo snap out of it this isnt uuu while anthys silent and dead eyed hahaha) but then after i drew prince anthy, the picture looked rather empty ... so i thought to add a few decals or borders in the style of the show & official arts but aaahh ... there was still too much negative space. i had to scrap anthy's prince outfit and put her back in her rose bride dress 😭 man !!! he cant keep getting away this !!! [blames akio the figurehead of patriarchy instead of taking responsibility of my own actions] which made me sad because i was pretty satisfied with the way i drew her pose and legs ! but i had to cover it up 🥲 ... the composition overall looked better though. and then after that it kept spiraling. i just kept adding more and more things until i lost control of this drawing and it plagued my WIP folder for months ... i dont want to try and connect all of it in words so ill just lay out all the pieces for you so you can connect them yourself. and you can experience my art thought process in fraction of erraticity and frustration as i experience it myself. this is a lot neater than what happened in my head though because i bothered to put it in order. honestly if i can make you feel a little bit insane trying to scroll through and read all this than i can make you understand how annoying my brain is when all i wanted to draw was utenanthy girlprinces fighting starting references & inspiration: utena prop reference sheet & manga prince!anthy

the tower & the lovers tarot

above: the lovers as depicted in the tarot of marseilles deck, tarocco bolognese deck, & tarocco piemontese deck the lovers (tarot card) wikipedia: The Lovers is associated with the star sign Gemini, and indeed is also known as The Twins in some decks. Other associations are with Air, Mercury, and the Hebrew letter ז (Zayin). In the Rider Waite deck, the imagery for this card is changed significantly from the traditional depiction. Instead of a couple receiving a blessing from a noble or cleric, the Rider–Waite deck depicts Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.6: UPRIGHT: Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome REVERSED: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds a.e. waite, the pictorial key to tarot, part II, VI. the lovers: In the foreground are two human figures, male and female, unveiled before each other, as if Adam and Eve when they first occupied the paradise of the earthly body. Behind the man is the Tree of Life, bearing twelve fruits, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is behind the woman; the serpent is twining round it. The figures suggest youth, virginity, innocence and love before it is contaminated by gross material desire. This is in all simplicity the card of human love, here exhibited as part of the way, the truth and the life. It replaces, by recourse to first principles, the old card of marriage, which I have described previously, and the later follies which depicted man between vice and virtue. In a very high sense, the card is a mystery of the Covenant and Sabbath. The suggestion in respect of the woman is that she signifies that attraction towards the sensitive life which carries within it the idea of the Fall of Man, but she is rather the working of a Secret Law of Providence than a willing and conscious temptress. It is through her imputed lapse that man shall arise ultimately, and only by her can he complete himself. The card is therefore in its way another intimation concerning the great mystery of womanhood. going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the lovers: UPRIGHT: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: Self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values In its purest form, The Lovers card represents conscious connections and meaningful relationships. The arrival of this card in a Tarot reading shows that you have a beautiful, soul-honoring connection with a loved one. [...] The Lovers is a card of open communication and raw honesty. Given that the man and woman are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to open their hearts to one another and share their truest feelings. [...] On a more personal level, The Lovers card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs. You are figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy. Having gone through the indoctrination of The Hierophant, you are now ready to establish your belief system and decide what is and what is not essential to you. It’s time to go into the big wide world and make choices for yourself, staying true to who you are and being authentic and genuine in all your endeavors. At its heart, The Lovers is about choice. The choice about who you want to be in this lifetime, how you connect with others and on what level, and about what you will and won’t stand for. To make good choices, you need to be clear about your personal beliefs and values – and stay true to them. Not all decisions will be easy either. The Lovers card is often a sign that you are facing a moral dilemma and must consider all consequences before acting. Your values system is being challenged, and you are being called to take the higher path, even if it is difficult. Do not carry out a decision based on fear or worry or guilt or shame. Now, more than ever, you must choose love – love for yourself, love for others and love for the Universe. Choose the best version of yourself. Finally, The Lovers card encourages you to unify dual forces. You can bring together two parts that are seemingly in opposition to one another and create something that is ‘whole’, unified and harmonious. In every choice, there is an equal amount of advantage and disadvantage, opportunity and challenge, positive and negative. When you accept these dualities, you build the unity from which love flows.

the tower (tarot card) wikipedia: The Tower is widely associated to danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation. In the Rider–Waite deck, the top of The Tower is a crown, which symbolizes materialistic thought being bought cheap, downcast. a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.16: UPRIGHT: Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin. It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe REVERSED: According to one account, the same in a lesser degree also oppression, imprisonment, tyranny (the wikipedia included a.e. waite's upright meanings, but i have no idea where they got the reversed meanings) going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the tower: UPRIGHT: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening REVERSED: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster The Tower shows a tall tower perched on the top of a rocky mountain. Lightning strikes set the building alight, and two people leap from the windows, head first and arms outstretched. It is a scene of chaos and destruction. The Tower itself is a solid structure, but because it has been built on shaky foundations, it only takes one bolt of lightning to bring it down. It represents ambitions and goals made on false premises. The lightning represents a sudden surge of energy and insight that leads to a break-through or revelation. It enters via the top of the building and knocks off the crown, symbolizing energy flowing down from the Universe, through the crown chakra. The people are desperate to escape from the burning building, not knowing what awaits them as they fall. [...] The best way forward is to let this structure self-destruct so you can re-build and re-focus. [...] with a card like The Tower, you have no choice but to surrender to the destruction and chaos, no matter how unwanted or painful [...] After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed. 

infant stars taken by NASA hubble used in the background overlay of akio's tower star birth | cool cosmos: Stars form from the simplest of building blocks - huge clouds of gas and dust that permeate the Galaxy. [...] While these big clouds of dust and gas lay dormant for many millions and perhaps billions of years, eventually some of them are disturbed. This can happen gradually, maybe caused by the approach of one of the Milky Way's spiral arms as it slowly sweeps around the center of the galaxy, or it can be a sudden event, like a nearby supernova explosion that blasts a shockwave through the cloud. Either way, a small increase in the pressure and density of the cloud forms knots in the gas and dust that eventually collapse under their own gravity, pulling more and more of the surrounding material in, and forming the stellar "seeds" known as protostars. From Protostar to Star: As the clouds collapse, they start to rotate, and, like a spinning skater pulling in her arms, each of these seed protostars begins to spin faster the more it collapses. The material falling towards the protostar flattens out into a rotating disk of dust and gas encircling the central core. The protostar warms up, as the potential energy of the material falling in is converted into kinetic energy, but it has not yet ignited to form a fully-fledged star. For the next few million years, the protostar's gravity pulls in more material from the surrounding cloud into its disk. That disk transports the gas and dust onto the protostar, causing the protostar to grow. The increase in mass causes the gravitational field of the protostar to increase and so even more material is pulled into the disk. The addition of more material, in turn, increases the gravitational field even further, pulling in more material, and so on, creating a feedback loop that keeps the whole process going. [...] The density and temperature of the protostar keep climbing higher and higher, until eventually the core grows to about one tenth the size of our Sun, and becomes hot and dense enough for hydrogen nuclei to spontaneously stick together to form helium, in a process called nuclear fusion. At that instant, the core ignites, and the new star is born. Meanwhile, in the disk, clumps of material have been forming, which are the seeds of new planets. These seeds sweep up material in the disk in a process called accretion, forming the planets of a new solar system. Once the star has started nuclear fusion, the heat and wind from the infant star begin to blast the gas and dust away, creating a cavity in the cloud. As more and more matter gets funneled onto the star from the disk, the star gets larger and larger, causing it to push harder and harder against the cloud and the disk, enlarging the cavity, vaporizing the disk, and halting the growth of planets.

deadheading (flowers) wikipedia: Deadheading is the horticultural practice of removing spent flowers from ornamental plants. Deadheading is a widespread form of pruning, since fading flowers are not as appealing and direct a lot of energy into seed development if pollinated. The goal of deadheading is thus to preserve the attractiveness of the plants in beds, borders, containers and hanging baskets, as well as to encourage further blooming. Deadheading flowers with many petals, such as roses, peonies, and camellias prevents them from littering.

[...] Ornamental plants that do not require deadheading are those that do not produce a lot of seed or tend to deadhead themselves [...] if the plant bears attractive seeds or fruits, deadheading is normally avoided

ladybird, ladybug, lady beetle: scientific name "coccinellidae" wikipedia: Etymology: [...] The common English name ladybird originated in Britain where the insects became known as "Our Lady's birds". Mary ("Our Lady") was often depicted wearing a red cloak in early art, and the seven spots of the species Coccinella septempunctata (the most common in Europe) were said to represent her seven joys and seven sorrows. Trophic Roles: Coccinellids act both as predators, prey and parasitic hosts in food webs. The majority of coccinellids are carnivorous and predatory. [...] Cannibalism has been recorded in several species; which includes larvae eating eggs or other larvae, and adults feeding on individuals of any life stage.

Defense: The bright warning colouration of many coccinellids discourage potential predators, warning of their toxicity [...] Species with more contrast with the background environment tended to be more toxic. Coccinellid haemolymph (blood) contains toxic alkaloids, azamacrolides and polyamines, as well as foul-smelling pyrazines. Coccinellids can produce at least 50 types of alkaloids. When disturbed, ladybirds further defend themselves with reflex bleeding, exuding drops from their tibio-femoral (knee) joints, effectively presenting predators with a sample of their toxic and bitter body fluid.

despite said being named after the lady virgin mary they are known to be promiscuous breeders, who's habits have been documented to result in epidemics of sexually transmitted infection in large populations, subject to various academic studies

lyric from lady oscar's theme song "the rose perishes beautifully"

ok there was more but its been like 8 hours it turns out trying to put my thoughts into words even if its just a bunch of copy pasting is even more annoying than just thinking them im ending this post 😭

[ritualofcirice]

🐑 ♡ Here's one letter fresh from Sup-port, addressed to one rabid Vox fan ♡ 🐑

Dear @startissuu,

You've kept many people well fed with your delicious artwork, and you've served up plenty of smiles to those you interact with! Time for you to know how beloved you are!

From Vox in an apron, to the most beautiful replication of emotion in a facial expression ever, your art knows no bounds! Who knows what you'll make next? Whatever it is though, it's guaranteed to be a hit!

That's why you're getting a letter so that all the lovelies that see this can see just how wonderful you are too! Thank you for sharing your art with us, and thank you for being such a sweetheart in the fandom!

Wishing all the best, and sending all of our love,

The Sup-port Team xo

Let's see what other letters arrived for you!

From @tarokitsu ♡

"i think chef is one of the most genuine, kind and talented people i know, shes so funny and im so grateful to be able to call her my friend!! her creativity is inspiring and i love how her art is always so full of life i could print it out and eat it. i have so many good memories associated with her already, i dont have enough words to explain how much i appreciate her but I LUV CHEF !!"

From @lumikello24 ♡

"Chef is one of the nicest, most supportive people I know! Hanging out with her is always fun and she's the first person I'd trust to watch over my drink at a party! I am regularly steam rolled into the floor by their art skills. Their ability to make things look 3d and expressive is absolutely mind-blowing! Her art could be straight out of a disney movie and her newest artwork has some of the most stunning lighting to have ever graced my eyeballs!"

From @fraugwinska ♡

"Chef quickly grew from being a goofy, lil ball of talent to be one of my most trusted, closest friends I've made since entering the Hazbin fandom. It's rare that you get the whole package - A nice, funny, sassy, chaotic, wonderful person that also draws like possessed by the gods of creativity, an amazing artists that even dabbles in writing and kills it there, too. She is the whole 360° threat. I will forever be proud to say that she was the first one to draw Alastor with Gem, my MC from my biggest fic and that she brought those two, who were and still are so dear and close to my heart fills me with so much gratitude and happiness. I swore to her one day that I'd be paying her accordingly for all the wonderful things she gave me. Now, knowing her, being her friend, commissioner and confidant... I know that no lottery win would ever be enough to truly show her my appreciation."

Chef's Advice To You

"I would say the best advice I have for artists is a couple things I gradually came to learn over the course of last year and that would be no matter how much experience you have never be afraid to sit down and re-learn the fundamentals if you feel stuck, it can be easy to brush it off as something you already know but sometimes your creativity can feel like it’s become stagnant and a quick refresher on perspective, composition, or colour theory etc can be all it takes to give you another creative BOOM

And also, (at least to me) your art is an expression of the soul, base its success on how it’s enriched you and made YOU feel, never on how many hits it may get/not get on social media. when you create something that’s an extension of yourself, the right people will appreciate it for that, which feels so much better than just churning things out that you think other people will enjoy"

Want To Write A Personal Letter?

Chef's official Sup-port tag is #fromsup-port2startissuu

♡ Is it your first time picking up mail at Sup-port? Find out what we're about here ♡

[mynameisjessejk]

Ruin on the Mountainside

The Feanorian forces hadn’t quite been willing to give up their place in the war, even as the Armies of the West pushed them further and further to the eastern front. They fought on, and they kept the eastern flank clear.

The day the dragon crashed down on the mountain, their tattered encampment threw a celebration. The survivors were evenly split between Feanarian faction Noldor and Northern Sindar, with a handful of Laegrim left with them, and more than half of their force was former thralls, at this juncture.

A celebration was certainly in order, for the destruction of the Iron Hells. A bonfire, a few treats people had been saving away, good wine (which had probably been begged, borrowed, or stolen from the Amanyar), and it was never hard to convince Maglor to play.

He played a couple of old dancing reels, a jaunty number of his own composition about the fall of the dragon, and then handed his harp off to a willing volunteer and went to find his brother.

Their General wasn’t celebrating with their troops. Maedhros stood, looking north in the moonlight.

Maglor slipped his right hand into his brother’s left. It was the first time in what felt like years that he hadn’t been holding a sword.

Maedhros brushed their shoulders together, acknowledgement and welcome, but kept his eyes on the ruin of the mountain.  It felt strange, to be without words, but he had no idea what to say to his brother in this moment.

Maedhros saved him the trouble. “I appreciate the irony.”

Maglor made a curious noise.

“That the Mariner wore a silmaril when he crushed the Pits,” Maedhros said. “And also that one of his own creations destroyed the place.”

“Both are neat pieces of work,” Maglor agreed. “Eru has a sense of theme.”

Maedhros laughed, a sound Maglor heard so rarely now. “I’m trying to decide how hard to blaspheme,” he said, still smiling.

“Please do not,” Maglor replied.

Maedhros bumped their shoulders together. “You have to admit, not every theme of the Song has been quite so well composed.”

“When your soloist is enough of a diva to try to steal the show, the composer can hardly be blamed,” Maglor retorted, gesturing at the ruined mountain with the hand not still tucked in his brother’s.

Maedhros inclined his head. “True enough.”

“What now?” Maglor finally dared to ask.

“There’s nowhere left to hide,” Maedhros reflected. “He’ll come forth soon enough, and the Powers will take him down.” Then he shrugged. “After that it’ll be a mopping up campaign,” he predicted. “It’ll be slow and terrible, probably, trying to clear up all the creatures.”

Maglor looked west, seeing the fires of the encampment of the Host.  “You think they can beat him?”

“They sent Eonwe,” Maedhros answered. “They’ll send Tulkas too if that’s what it takes.”

Maglor hummed. Then he turned south, towards the slowly-encroaching sea. “And then?” he asked softly.

Maedhros looked down at him, moonlight catching on his scarred face and making his eyes glow. “Then we take what’s ours,” he answered. “And then we’ll see.” And he looked away from the mountain for the first time, following Maglor’s gaze south. “A new world,” he said quietly.

Maglor leaned into him. “That sounds nice,” he murmured.

Maedhros kissed the top of his head. “Maybe it can be,” he replied.

[spacedlexi]

if you had to pinpoint some kind of source, what caused you to "level up" in terms of art? like what do you think propelled you from being a beginner or intermediate artist to being a more advanced artist?

definitely more than one source!! but the two most important things are: study references and keep drawing!!

i dont do as many studies as i should 💀 but every time i do my eye definitely improves. using pose references, looking at photos for color palettes, studying shot composition of shows and movies i like. i really recommend doing quick gesture drawings to warm up. in class we would do 10 second, 30 second, 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes for warming up (i really need to get back to doing this 💀). portrait studies are also good for learning face structure

line of action is the site i use for gesture drawings. if you dont know what gesture drawings are its about focusing on the form and movement of the body without focusing on details too much. you want to keep your lines long and flowing no short sketchy lines. its why its a good way to warm up as well it encourages you to put your whole arm into it (as you should, its not good to draw from the wrist its bad for your wrist anyway)

but even more important than studies (which are Very important) is to just keep drawing!! you improve with every piece even if you hate what you drew (you hating it is you recognizing something isnt Right and maybe youll figure it out next time! this is when studies help). dont feel like you Have to draw a certain way either. ive basically eliminated line work from my art and im much happier for it (i prefer sketchier lines and its just made me a cleaner draftsman overall. my actual "sketches" now are basically just thumbnails so i dont get lost in the details (and if i do i end up liking the sketch more))

i feel like i really "leveled up" in the past couple years and that was because i was forced to do a lot of studies for my portfolio 💀 but also i just kept drawing and let myself experiment with how i Wanted to draw. as soon as i dropped any notions about what my art "had" to be it was like everything changed and now ive developed a style i feel comfortable and confident with :) and when i look back at my old art that i still like, i can see a version of my current style in there like it was always in there deep down and i finally just let it Be

good luck on your art journey anon!! be kind to yourself and just keep going! we all move at our own pace

[pleasecallmenicole]

Any particular Touhou song remixes you're a fan of?

Touhou Arrangements are something i need to explore more of. Ive only stuck to a lot of the songs and circles ive found in 2017. That being said, there are certain songs that I'm just a huge fan of with youtube links for you to listen to.

More Then a Night from by A-One, but you'll probably be more familiar with who made it, Jessa Stebbins or Odyssey Eurobeat. Really nice and calming song despite being eurobeat, always fun to go back to over the years.

Fall In The Dark from ShibayanRecords. A classic for me if I'm being honest; one of the first touhou arrangements I heard when getting into the series and it's always had a relaxing feel to it that I kept coming back to. Love this song.

in the wind from Reset All Controllers. Absolutely beautiful strings song. Its quite a slow song; very calming and nice to listen to. And it slowly speeding up gives it a bit of emotional catharsis from it. Nice song to cry to time to time.

Old Tales of Old Heroes from Karasu. Really cool song, mixing in elements of rock and traditional Japanese music that bring in a fun listening experience. Makes it even neater that the composer is from Poland. One of the first arrangements I've heard too, never really forgot it.

Smiling Girl of History from DDBY. Cafe of Touhou song, if you've heard of that. This one really stood out to me. While fitting into the slow chill music of Cafe de Touhou, its so full of energy, so radiant, so joyous. I feel like I can dance in the night with this music, its just irradiates the feeling of restrained joy in a way, just love it.

KILLOVE FIREPROOF! from Akatsuki Records. Honestly had to restrain myself from including a lot of their music, a lot of them vibe with me just really well. This song is probably what really pushed me into liking Mokou as well as terumoko as a whole when I was just getting into Touhou. Always fun to listen to just from its unique composition to me.

鈴蘭 ~Proof that Love Was Never Real~ from Takamachi Walk. Really nice band. They do a lot of Metal music singing about bad relationships, its nice if you ever in a depressive mood but still fun metal to listen regardless. Its also pretty hard for me to pick a definitive song to put on here from them, since so many of their song's mood get me, but this one with the duo singing I think really encapsulates the best of their songs.

Hello, my friend from Diao ye zong. Recent song I found, got it here on tumblr. Absolutely love this song, it is just so emotionally charged to me. I can feel the weight behind everything in the song through the singing and the music which just feels incredible to me. It has genuinely made me cry a couple of times, thats how well it resonates with me.

There might be a theme or two from the music I've listed here. There are many touhou arrangements out there that I love, even this list is merely showcasing a good few that I think off and not really the best of the best from my experience. I hope this has answered your question and that i didn't completely misunderstand you when you said remixes

[mayordea]

huzzah! 2023 art review!

it’s almost the end of the year, wowzers! i always do one of these art review thingies since i always like looking back at the art ive made :> last year i posted the review on my other account and left it at there, but this year i want to actually review each month and notable pieces i made… just for fun!

this post is very much just for me lol, but i hope someone out there enjoys it. month-by-month review + previous year in reviews will be under the cut! 🩷

(also, shoutout to tumblr for going rouge and posting this way way earlier than i had scheduled 😍 luckily tumblr post editor is weirdly based and kept all my embedded links when i pasted it from the old one? hell yeah)

Jan: started off the year with a painting of my beloved ocs after ending last year with one! (and i will be talking about my older year in reviews, rest assured). this was my obligatory cute shared scarf art, and i wanted to try attempting to render something more involved like two characters and draping cloth. i don't think the result was too shabby, though this was before i discovered my favorite rendering brush for procreate, so in hindsight, it looks kinda flat and boring now. where's all the crunch? ah but anyway, starting a whole year with your art in a mid place compared to what you made later on is par for the course.

Feb: probably the month where i had the least art to put here, i remember scraping a little to find one. this was a chrobin piece i made in my sketchbook! nothing too noteworthy... i think i tried doing a slightly different approach to coloring with markers (applying the color before the lineart) and incorporating paint, but i remember this one giving me trouble. first of all, the size i drew this in was really small (it was in a small sketchbook and i decided to mask the margins with comparatively wide masking tape), and second of all the paper was absolutely NOT built for gouache, so it ended up a kind of wrinkly and muddy mess. i mean i'm still not the best with gouache now but still, not my best.

March: a redraw of a robin piece i made back when i was still on amino. i probably won't share the old versions because they're crap, so just trust me on the redraw part. anyway, the last iteration of the concept was in 2019 i think? and while i was proud of it for a while, its luster finally faded and i decided to try doing it again in procreate. this was when i discovered my love for the soft chalk brush in the jingsketch basics brush pack. for a while i've been using the hard render brush in that pack to render, but this one's texture and chalkiness totally changed the game. i was in love!! also tried to be a little more crazy and vibrant with how i applied the base colors, using saturated colors across the board. this process didn't consistently stick, but i think it yielded some neat results here. another hit from this month was my piece of grandmaster robin, since i'm really proud of the detail here!.

Apr: guys, april was MY MONTH! i remember making so much art in just a few weeks, something just clicked in my brain i guess. i chose my drawings of hagane rin and len since this was when i truly began to get comfy in my lineart era (after the grandmaster drawing). this month was full of detailed line drawings at that, but this one was what made me both enjoy the process a lot and do more of it. hell yeah. other hits: vocaloids at mcdonald's (i drew a background omg!!!), alice in ny fanart (just the euphoria of finally nailing a composition for this piece after struggling with it in november was great), and the end-world normopathy fanart (it's a line drawing, and a traditional one at that. i was happy with incorporating gold accents into my typically monochromatic style when it comes to my line-focused drawings as well as getting tamari's mechanical details nailed).

May: hell yeah. evil power couple time. this one was another line-art heavy one since i thought it fit the vibe. the softer colors in the background i feel like could have been executed a little better, but i do like how this came out, especially the armor (good god fe armor is a pain to render, but i think i've gotten better at it this year! middle school me would be so jealous). not much else to say here. Other hit this month would be my alice of human sacrifice fanart, another line-heavy traditional drawing. i think it turned out nice, especially for a crammed composition lol.

Jun: another end-world normopathy-centered fanart. i mentioned it in my og post but i was trying out a slightly different painting style where i did a black-and-white base first and then added colors as an overlay (also in the initial upload of the post i was so fucking meek about posting fanart of mariyam's alternate design teased at the end of the mv?? 😭 sorry about that, i've edited it out but it's still in early reblogs. kind of cringe on my part). i didn't end up committing to this consistently cuz the beginning process was kind of tedious (plus i'm too inept to pay close attention to values anyway), but laying down all the colors after the long rendering process was rewarding! it's a nice alternative with i get bored with my other method to yield basically the same-looking result lol. this month featured some more pieces that tried using this process, like the one with my oc alice, lucina and dark pit hanging out, and f!robin's resplendent design from feh.

Jul: ah yes my typical flavor of "improvised oc art that i invent new symbolism for on the fly that i apply meaning to after i'm finished". kinda just wanted to paint something again because i've been doing a lot of line drawings lately and to go back to my old painting process again. honestly, i mainly picked this one because i wanted more oc art and non-lineart drawings to be in this chart lol. art i made this month that i'm real proud of is this family pic of some young cryptonloids (i really like how the colors came out on this one!) and my birthday drawing for miku's sweet 16, which was originally completed this month. i opted out of considering it for my july art to avoid confusion. also also, this very whack pathological facade fanart (plus some doodles i didn't post) opened my eyes to the beautiful world of NOISE and HALFTONES and just slapping crazy textures onto my art like nobody's business. hell yeah.

Aug: ok this one is kind of another piece i picked to represent this month that isn't quite my favorite but i chose anyway for the sake of variety (in this case, i wanted more traditional pieces and non-vocaloid stuff). for once, i used my bigger sketchbook to make a big n detailed piece for my boy's new brave alt in feh (that game has zero significance to me outside of cool alt costumes for my faves). my actual fave from this month was young miku/meiko/kaito chillin in their house; i'm real proud of the background and lighting! but i still like this robin too ofc, big fan of how the colors came out ;3

Sep: another traditional drawing! felt compelled to draw kandy again, specifically her evil miitopia great sage incarnation :> this one was pretty standard in terms of process, and not much was really done to experiment. just wanted to draw something cool of my girl for my sketchbook. other fave from this month is this sketchy miku i did, i like how loose it came out and how the colors pop.

Oct: pretty palutena!~ i think i went into this trying to do something a little different with my painting process (i think it was to try incorporating more colors in the shading like the blue in the dress or more saturated colors near the focal point, but i can't remember LOL) or try rendering a more detailed character w/ a background (even if the background was pretty vague). i like this one! especially the color cohesion, it's pretty swag imo. other faves from this month was fanart i made for the song "orbit" since i also like how the color cohesion came out for this one, and the maid dress/crossover drawing i made for cringetober. no other words needed to explain why.

Nov: another digital painting! it's yet another ghost song, this time "uncanny". i really loved the aesthetic of this song, especially its bold colors and simplistic shapes, so i wanted to try capturing it in my style. i really love how the colors turned out on this, though i've yet to truly recreate what i like about this particular painting again? regardless, it's one of my faves, deserving of one of my favorite ghost songs. few other highlights from this month would be my obligatory purple robin drawing for the month, my sketchbook drawing of my luka design, and my fanart of utsu-p's song "ga". i like how i was able to do a couple of my different "styles"/processes this month rather than just sticking to just one. they all have their own feel to them that i like to play around with depending on the idea.

Dec: and finally, we're at the end. like july, we have another heavily improvised oc drawing with symbolism i came up with on the spot. that's just how i do things. anyway, this turned out really good in my opinion! i tried to stick to a color palette i saved in procreate a long time ago, and damn is it a fine palette. it helped me get a little loose with the colors and solely focus on creating a strong composition with colors and contrast rather than get hung up on sticking to typical color palettes. i also really like how i did the background by essentially using the liquify tool to swish all the colors around and then polished it a little on top. made for a really cool effect. other notable work would be the companion piece i made with my other oc that had a similar style since i liked the process of this one. there will probably be more as of when i'm drafting this (at the beginning of december) but i just wanna be finished w this post already bro

all around, very satisfied with this year. there was kind of a lot of song fanarts (something that i am somewhat guilty about because it feels like i'm unoriginal or something, but i swear it's cuz i'm really passionate about vocaloid music and need to act on what my braincells do when i listen to certain tracks), but overall i'm happy i was able to maintain some slight variety in the art i made this year through my chosen mediums and "styles" or processes i use.

this was the first year where i really wanted to have a fully rendered piece i'm proud of to represent every month. now, i wouldn't recommend this since forcing yourself to make art is not a good mindset to be in (sometimes, with how early i pushed some pieces out in certain months to get the monthly quota over with makes it seem like i'm getting paid to have a pretty year-in-review LOL). i was pretty lucky to not really have much burnout i guess?

~~~

ok now that all that boring stuff is out of the way, here’s my previous years! this is the sixth year i have made an art review chart.

lightning round review time! (probably just gonna be more boring stuff)

2018: ok, so this was the year where my prime art hosting platform was… amino… specifically smash amino. as much as i could rant about how much i hate that place now, i cant deny that it got me creating a lot of stuff. also it was an actual date archive for my traditional art because i never got in the habit of dating my physical art 🙃 uh don’t mind the absolute horrid graphic design on this one. i grabbed a template which was probably saved from a bunch of other places from amino and… didn’t really know how the formatting was supposed to work. first of all, i edited this in picsart on my phone and the chart wasn’t transparent, and second of all i didn’t know you were supposed to crop only the main focus so it could fit and be a little more clear. hence why its such a visual eyesore. i've been meaning to remake it to make it a little less bad (once i get my hands on the traditional pieces again), but i guess its shoddiness adds to its charm, much like amino. but anyway, 2018 was a bit of a turning point year for me in the smash amino art biz. on amino, i mostly made copies of official artwork from smash (character renders and so forth), and this year i actually tried experimenting with my own original ideas and scenes (my copying roots were still around at this time tho, seen in the november drawing which is based on ssbu’s mural art. i mainly moved on to copying artwork from feh). this was also the year i got my ipad and finally got into making digital art. i didn’t have the knowledge of digital art that i have today obviously, so colors and lighting were usually on the plain side. i also hit my stride with making more ambitious traditional art that incorporated backgrounds and such, and they’re pieces i’m still really proud of!

2019: so, i actually made this chart some time in 2021 or 22 because i didnt make an actual chart in 2019 officially (i forgor). which bums me out because i deleted my amino account by then, so a lot of dates for traditional pieces were flushed down the toilet the one time i needed them. so, to compensate, i tried scraping any digital piece i could to fill in some spaces, which is why some are more underwhelming than others. but yeah since this isn’t fully accurate to my art progress that year, 2019 is a bit fuzzy. main thing of note that year is midway through i got really REEAALLY into fire emblem: three houses and drew a lot of art of the characters (not shown much on the chart because they were mostly sketches and whatnot). imo there’s not much improvement or stylistic changes from 2018 in this year to note. 2020 on the other hand…

2020: if it wasn’t clear, this was my jojo phase. i got into jojo at the end of 2019 and my downward spiral into jojo hell bled into 2020 :p as such, i made a lot of jojo art. and because i made a lot of jojo art, this was the year where my style shifted drastically. i feel like it’s a common phenomenon for artists getting a total stylistic makeover after getting into jojo. whether it’s to imitate araki’s style or just trying to accommodate the characters’… features, i ended up facing the same thing. gone were big round heads with tiny mouths and in were tree trunk necks and higher effort placed in learning anatomy, both for the full body and well as the face. it was around may of this year i got procreate and moved on from ibis paint for digital art. while i still have my personal hangups with procreate, im glad i ended up investing in it since it really just works for me!!

2021: around summer 2020 in peak pandemic mood, i decided to indulge in some nostalgia and listened to some old vocaloid tunes from my middle school days. and then i kept rediscovering more stuff, and then i ended up browsing producers' individual discographies, and uh yeah i am still suffering the consequences of my vocaloid renaissance to this day. while it wasn't prominent in the 2020 chart, it really started to leak its way into my art subjects in 2021. however, i still primarily stuck to my roots with fe/"smash"/jojo fanart. this year was mainly trying to find my style again i suppose? i had already learned the ropes of procreate, its limitations, and the options it has to aid with the art making process, so it was just a matter of flinging a bunch attempts at a ~style~ to see which one i liked the most. i did try finding a painting/rendering style a lot by way of copying (mainly guessing based on speedpaints) other artists' styles and process with digital painting which ended up growing into my own thing. i know they all sort of look the same, but march, april, and october of this year all had slightly different ways of doing all the shading n rendering for painting that i liked experimenting w/ in the future.

2022: by this point, i had fully gotten used to procreate and the methods i used to make art, and the vocaloid train had no signs of stopping. i think the main thing of note this year was that i was able to break out of the "5 million overlays of pink and purple color vomit" box my digital art was set it. while it used to amuse me when i first began abusing it in my art, i guess i just sort of grew out of it? it ended up making a lot of my art look homogeneous, and it took out the fun trial and error of picking the colors to match the atmosphere myself. i also tried to get more experimental with my compositions, mainly in trying to make them more dense with Stuff as well as finally get a little more comfortable with drawing backgrounds. besides those things however, i remember feeling my art progress was very stagnant this year, with not much noticeable change from january to december. perhaps i've gotten a bit comfortable with the state it's in. regardless, still a good year all around.

~~~

whew. THAT'S finally done with. if you made it to the end of this very me-centered ramble, congrats. i will probably make reblog additions in future years to continue this little saga. idk if i'll be as detailed as i was for the 2023 lineup, but we'll see.

[plumsaffron]

Cherry Crimson Brine Part 1:

Where or When You Lost (2/2)

return to the beginning link there

link to all parts right here

Tomorrow ???: My Angel… Where did you go? Looking up into the sky, melancholically scrolling through memories in her phone (The last thing I have of you was you selfieing with that woman with the blonde hair and when you used to be part of alliance) ???: I guess I’ll grab something to eat at Andre’s hotel from Chef Cesaire. Some walking and greetings waving later Waves and frowns Marinette: Hey! ???: Oh. I didn’t notice it was you, Marinette. I’ve been constantly hiing and byeing. Marinette: You okay. You looked happy but then you frowned after you finished waving. Did something happen? ???: I don’t think you should be burdened with my life. Thanks but… starts walking away Marinette follows her Marinette: But I want to know. ???:… Marinette: Talk about it. I’ll listen to you. I don’t really have much to do today. ???: You shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business.

Is this your normal behavior? Marinette stops and she continues walking away

Next day ???: This apartment… 

Without seeing you here, it feels very empty. Goes into the messy room and observes things ???: Stuffed animal. And that heart drawing. Accessories and pictures.

Having flashbacks IMMEDIATELY STORMS OUTSIDE She’s bugged out but trying to maintain her composure (I need to get some water. I can’t go back there now) As this woman is walking NPC Boy: Happy Birthday, pops. hugs his father. 

Next, this woman hears a little girl laughing as she’s lifted into the air by her mom She walks away from seeing that Then this woman, after walking away Runs away to somewhere alone because she’s witnessing what reminds her of what she lost Her stomach and upper body is feeling crunched while she’s hiding ???: This isn’t me. I have to believe she’s- (Oh no. It’s her again) Marinette: You alright? ???: Were you following me? 

(I can’t believe this. I probably look like I made a scene to her.) Marinette: I was… uhhhh. I wasn’t planning to. NO! I mean I was… She begins walking away Marinette: Wait up following her ???: Sigh. Can you not? Marinette: You aren’t well. I can see you quivering and your tone uh skipped. Tell someone what’s up with you. ???: You aren’t gonna quit, are you? she stops JETS AWAY Marinette: Hey! Tries running but falls on the ground

Darn Later in the afternoon Both: Hey

No, you go first I insist …after several seconds Marinette: There was this woman. I don’t why… but she look like something was freaking her out. 

I saw her run away in terror but when I went the opposite direction but it was just a bunch of kids and their parents enjoying their time. Adrien: Another one? Marinette: Yeah. Even though she told me to leave her alone. I don’t know why I kept going. Adrien: It just like you to show everyone kindness and compassion. Even when you shouldn’t or they don’t deserve it. That’s why you are the best thing in the world. As she blushes Marinette: Well uh… Her face and expressions and movement didn’t look okay. She looked worse than I remember of Juleka. Like a thousand times worse. Was it fear? Or sadness? Adrien: That reminds me of a woman a few days ago I know of. Well not like that but she is significant. That fashion lady was playing a song with her friends. (edited) She said it was for her baby girl or something she missed. Marinette: Babygirl?!

Adrien: Uhuh It was something of a score played. Marinette: Score? Adrien: I mean music score or composition that was playing. Marinette: I see. Adrien: Hopefully things get resolved soon Marinette: I hope so too. Awkwardly in silence Both: (So now what…?) A couple of days later a sometime Amelie: So where do you want to go now? Adrien: Well since I can’t think of anywhere else interesting. Maybe I can call some friends I don’t normally hangout with to play. Maybe my fencing companions. Amelie: As you wish. Placide I.T. Nods

As they are going to the park Sees she who Marinette was describing Adrien: STOP THE CAR! His supervisors alerted and stop the vehicle Amelie: Yeesh, Adrien! Something startled you?! (edited) Placide I.T.: You cool? Adrien: There’s something I need to do before going, alone. Just wait a few minutes for me, okay. Amelie: Okay… (Isn’t like we’d simply leave you there) His bodyguard makes a puzzled expression but is okay with that Adrien leaves the vehicle Placide I.T.: (He’s walking towards that woman. But why?) Amelie: Hmmmmmm.

Adrien: Hello there. You okay? The whimpering woman responding Adrien confused and pauses Adrien: You… (I see. You can’t talk or you can’t hear me. I think. So that’s who Marinette saw at an earlier time) Adrien begins doing sign language Adrien: (Hopefully I have enough experience with this language too. I should have brought some paper but I wasn’t prepared) from observing the two

Amelie: Is he doing sign language with that upset woman? Placide I.T.: Looks like it. meanwhile ???: The last time I saw her was months ago. Adrien: (what ago? I’m unsure if she means weeks or months ago) Adrien proceeds sign language, using days vs days multiplier The woman says yes to the second condition Adrien: (That’s really concerning. Lost child and no one has found any hints or clues) Adrien: I’ll let you know, immediately, if I find anything of your child She thanks him and he waves going back Amelie: Everything’s okay?

Adrien: For her, no. Her child is lost and the search is still going on. Let’s go. His caretakers frown a bit but his guard proceeds driving away as there is nothing they can do

End of part 1 - Where or When You Lost 

Move on to Part 2 (1-2) Of Crimson Brine Story

[grandhotelabyss]

What are the most novelistic, readable-as-literature biographies and histories (or, indeed, autobiographies and memoirs — I’m also tempted to add something about autofiction on one end, and historical novels about real figures on the other, but then it becomes a different question)?

You should ask someone who keeps up better with histories and biographies, someone who could speak intelligibly to you of Gibbon and Macaulay and God knows who! Reflecting my particular academic background, I will recommend again as I've recommended before Richard Ellmann's great trilogy of bios on the Irish moderns: Yeats: The Man and the Masks, James Joyce, and Oscar Wilde. What's especially impressive is that they're so different from one another: the Yeats is interpretive and essayistic, the Joyce discursive and dialogic, and the Wilde—yes!—reads like a novel. More broadly, I did enjoy Jill Lepore's recent massive one-volume history of the U.S., These Truths. It was absorbingly narrative, with a persuasive thesis about technology and national self-representation, and she struck the right political balance given the incendiary period of composition. On the intellectual history side, I liked Louis Menand's The Metaphysical Club, a group biography and rich contextualization of the American Pragmatists. A favorite memoir, which, considering its idiosyncracy, is probably an example of why I'm the wrong person to ask: Love's Work by Gillian Rose. Favorite novel about a real historical figure? You know I have to say Libra.

(I just finished Come Back in September, Darryl Pinckney's long and exhaustive memoir of Elizabeth Hardwick, the New York Review of Books set, and the downtown NYC avant-garde in the '70s and '80s. Very rich gossip. Pinckney even quotes a defense of gossip in its pages: Hardwick and Barbara Epstein used to say that gossip is only analysis of the absent person. The climax, if such a diffuse book can have a climax, comes when Susan Sontag realized on the Kantstrasse a few months before the Wall came down that Pinckney kept a diary. She decided to tell him for posterity's sake a story about the time Robert Lowell, then married to Hardwick, made a pass at her, with the excuse that "One can't have one's wife writing Madame Bovary in the kitchen." Sontag or Pinckney—the voices aren't always distinct in this group memoir—observed that Cal and Lizzie employed domestic service of the type eulogized or matronized in Sleepless Nights, so she wouldn't have been writing in the kitchen. She would have been writing in the study—just like him. Nevertheless, the two real geniuses they knew, Hardwick and Epstein conclude after thinking about it for a while, were Lowell and Arendt. Pinckney is good on the paradoxes of being educated out of one's class, especially in an America where race and ethnicity can be proxies for class; he can only talk about James Baldwin insightfully with this old Southern white woman of extraordinary literary cultivation, not his black bourgeois parents with their too-middle-class investment in respectability. The climax of the book might be Baldwin's funeral, come to think of it. There, Pinckney, who has presented himself throughout as a reticent and deferential protégé, takes no prisoners: "Maya Angelou sounded like a Hallmark card. Toni Morrison spoke mostly about herself. Baraka ranted about white people. The relief of a choir." This book put a couple more memoirs and biographies on the notional to-read list: The Big Sea by Langston Hughes, Safe Conduct by Boris Pasternak—though I should probably read Dr. Zhivago first—and Rahel Varnhagen: The Life of a Jewess by Arendt herself.)

[joysmercer]

misc six observations:

the pantages is the most gorgeous theater i’ve ever been in (not that i’ve been in many but u know)

it’s also along the walk of fame and kirsten chenoweth’s star is right by the door (lena horne's is just across the street)

they didn’t advertise my show as accessible but it was open-captioned and asl-interpreted (but it looks like both things were only viewable to ppl seated on the left side)

an old couple next to me were trying to figure out which “chopin composition” the pre-show music was? (they’re all piano covers of pop songs) v confused

the “queen bios” in the playbill list aragon’s interests as “religion, sewing, dancing, and a bit more religion”, boleyn’s says she’s remembered for “headlessness”. parr’s talks about her friendship w mary and that her mom was LIW to some previous wives, but makes no mention of the fact that aragon was her godmother(/namesake) or that she married seymour’s brother

the minute greensleeves started playing, people started cheering. it was so fun

khaila was born to play aragon that's all im saying. literally nonstop applause until the dluh intro

storm's boleyn tiptoed that line between "idk what's going on" and "smart and cunning" so so well

cleves did the ponytail-pull instead of seymour? idk if this is a recent change but it has Interesting implications characterization-wise lmao also it was just funny because olivia had to significantly reach up to get to courtney's hair

speaking of which, both nat and cmack's new wigs look a lot fancier than their old ones somehow

im pretty sure nmp actually started crying during hos (which, even though i've heard her sing it a million times, was every bit as beautiful as i thought it would be)

hoh live is an Experience in the best way, they just looked like they were having the best time bouncing around the stage

the audience member picked for get down was so good/confident olivia cheered for her the entire time instead of doing the "this is my song" bit after shfghjkl

get down is already such a lively song but olivia's version amps it up even more like i was in stitches during the intro and the entire audience was fired up by the end

the k-howard roast didnt get as many laughs as it should've :// i felt so bad for courtney because she delivered those lines flawlessly

and then loud and immediate applause after aywd??? L audience tbh

(also interesting note – the asl interpreter didn’t sign for applause after the song like she did for all the others)

natalie's "I DIED" was every bit as amazing as all the audios. also she basically chased khaila offstage while saying that line sdkf

i think gabriela is my new favorite parr im so obsessed w her take on idnyl and her acting (even in the background) is impeccable

there were some obvious mic issues – both cmack and storm were a bit quieter than everyone else and khaila was way louder; all three of them left the stage at various points for unknown reasons (but there wasn't a show stop and i dont think most people noticed someone missing)

this cast's chemistry was i n s a n e like the little interactions and they way they reacted to each other plus the harmonies…10/10 no notes

speaking of which. there was a really sweet moment toward the end of idnyl ("why should i tell that story?") where aragon puts her hand on howard's knee comfortingly

standing ovation after six!!! idk if this is a regular occurrence but they bowed an extra time because of all the clapping lol

except then people started leaving, so courtney had to start the megasix early and you could barely hear her over the audience

but it was ok cuz people stayed on their feet throughout the megasix too and again the girls took a really long time leaving the stage after bc the cheers kept getting louder!!!

tldr i had the BEST time and if the tickets weren’t so expensive id go again and again <3

[elizabeth-karenina]

🎉If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog.

Thank you, T.J. my dear! It was kind of you think of me. @1980s-jean-ralphio

I am deathly afraid of spiders. I truly do think I have full-on arachnephobia, because every time I see one my body completely shuts down. I just can't handle them, they're too frightening for me.

I collected a lot of off-beat things when I was a kid. Idk if y'all remember, but back in the mid-90's, McDonald's had a line of mini-Barbie dolls from around the world, and I tried to get as many as I could. The years changed over to the 21st century when I was about 9, and during that time, the U.S. minted new quarters with an image of every State in the Union on the back of them. I tried to collect as many of the Millenium Quarters as I could, too. Every time I went to the beach, I got to keep a few seashells in a bucket that was kept in my basement. I kept all the movie ticket stubs whenever I went and saw a movie, too. I was also very fixated on the DK Eyewitness books, and I tried to get as many of those as I could as well.

When I was in middle school, a bunch of my friends on the bus I rode shared a green composition book that we passed around to each other for a couple of days. Once that girls' time was up, they'd pass it on to the next girl. In it, we would draw pictures, write fanfictions, tell jokes, paste pictures of movies and TV shows we loved, share what we were feelings about our lives. It was kind of like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but with a book. I'm very sad that I wasn't the one who ended up keeping the book; I would've treasured that thing for life.