#i think i just dont like midwest food

[arborescent-shadows]

ok while we are at it again!!! People here are bad at making bread!!! It's not that hard to make very basic bread!! it's ok to cheat with quick rise yeast or make milk bread. But everyone here is adding sugar to bread!! not pumpkin bread or like a sweet bread. i mean like sandwich bread. sandwich/savory bread should taste good on its own or with butter! you dont need to add sugar if you do it right!!!

also it's OK to stop putting random shit in your pasta salads!!! Some veggies and spices wont hurt you!!! stop adding jello and marshmellows to savory things!!!

[numberonecodwomenfan]

ok yall heres my thoughts for a potential olympics au.

price boxes. 100 percent. no clue why but he just has the Vibes. it’s definitely not his first olympics. he’s getting close to retiring from the olympics (which no is not an old man joke, they genuinely just have a very small age window to be like in their prime to compete. simone biles is 27 and she’s considered on the older side for olympic athletes).

gaz does gymnastics. look at him man he just looks like a gymnast. it’s his first olympics and while he’s not really an underdog he’s not very well known. he is however definitely getting the stephen nedoroscik treatment (immediately becoming the country’s sweetheart, having tons of fan edits, etc).

soap plays soccer (IT’S CALLED SOCCER 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸) as a goalie and again, scotland’s sweetheart. they eat him UP. i mean look at him why wouldn’t they. he and gaz become immediate friends in the village and post online together. they make jokes on tiktok about getting freaky on the cardboard beds (ilona maher and nicole heavirland style) and no one ever shuts up about it. he’s new to the olympics as well.

ghost plays rugby because he’s massive and angry. i feel like this is his second olympics and he’s lowkey still mad his team lost last time but he’s pretending not to be 😭 he doesnt participate much in the dicking around, but since he, price, and gaz are all team england he gets spotted in some of the online shenanigans (can u tell i pay more attention to the athletes goofing off online than the actual games)

farah i feel does beach volleyball. shes tall (5’8” which is crazy because she looks SHORT next to some of the other characters) so good for volleyball, and i’d imagine urzikstan’s team would unfortunately be pretty small considering. yk. so they might only have enough athletes for beach volleyball since it only requires 2 players. im imagining this to be set in a world where farah wasn’t leading the ulf but the occupation and stuff still happened, but it’s over and urzikstan is slowly healing again. throughout the competition farah is very vocal about her pride for her country and she talks about her brother and parents, and says that she’s competing in honor of them. she also becomes one of those athletes that everyone roots for no matter where theyre from, simply because of a) how good she is, and b) the way she speaks about her family and her country, and how emotional it makes people.

alex surfs. look at that man and tell me he doesnt surf. i know we agreed he’s from some podunk midwest town but i can also totally imagine him being from like socal and being the most doofy surfer dude. he meets farah in the olympic village and is immediately infatuated. also i feel like he would have an obsession with one of the foods there like that norwegian swimmer with his chocolate muffins and post about it online.

(again can yall tell i pay more attention to the athletes dicking around on tiktok than the sports)

i wanna say rudy and alejandro both do equestrian because yk. vaqueros. but i cant tell if it’s too on the nose. let me know ur thoughts.

laswell does archery. i believe its one of the sports that is more likely to have “older” athletes (although i could be wrong) and i imagine laswell is like 45 ish. lesbians love her. this is not her first rodeo she has olympic’d before. people see her talking to alex on the boat during the opening ceremony and theyre like “is she his mom or smth wtf???” bc they look similar and they eventually just lean into it. like yeah this is my mom she’s like 7 years older than me. dont think about it too hard the numbers make sense. i swear.

könig wrestles because he’s massive. i fear booktok gooners would obsess over him and it would simultaneously give him a huge ego boost but also make him deeply uncomfortable. he’s a good wrestler tho so he toughs it out 😭 the gooners see him without the doofy little wrestler cap for the first time, realize he’s fugly, and move on. he can live in peace again.

horangi does shooting because i keep seeing that hot korean shooter kim yeji everywhere and shes so cool. also bc horangi is in the military in game so um. yeah. dude is cool as fuck and he knows it.

[cannibalizedlove]

Love ur work and I'm quite happy u visit my blog 😇 ♥︎

do u take requests? If so, I'd like to request lee x nonbinary reader but if u don't take requests that's fine! Either way, dont wanna bother u and u don't have to do it if u don't want to!

I love taking requests, you can always send them my way and I’m obsessed with your blog! I hope this is good enough for you!

Acceptance.

Information and warnings — coming out, comfort, non eater reader, nonbinary reader, Lee’s an absolute sweetheart, pure fluff.

You had met Lee in a diner on your way through the midwest. You had to get out of your cramped hometown, you’d out grown it all, the conservative views, the unapproving stares, but most of all; the truth.

That’s how you ended up here, sat alone in a window seat at a random diner in the middle of nowhere. As you downed your cup of black coffee, the only thing you could afford, you looked up to see a handsome man, around your age, quietly looking around for a seat.

Your gaze was brought down to the newspaper on the table, only for your eyes to snap in front of you. Now face to face with the scrawny man from before. He had dark unkempt curls, with faded red blending into the top. His hands were tattooed, and his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and dirt.

“Can I sit here?” He asked softly, he looked tired and severely due for a meal.

“Yes, of course that’s no problem.” You nervously sputtered out, gesturing to the booth on the other side of your table.

“Thank you. I saw you from across the place. I thought you may just need to talk to someone. I’m Lee, by the way.” The man explained, a blush heated up your cheeks.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

You were instantly drawn to him, your shared sense of loneliness tied you two together. Lee had ordered multiple plates of food, and scarfed them down while the two of you chatted about anything and everything.

“Hey, let’s get out of here, yeah?” Lee asked, wiping the syrup from his pancakes off of his face and hands.

You nodded, raising your hand to call the waitress over for the check. Lee shook his head laughing, took your hand, and ran out of the dinner, resulting in an angry waiter to yell multiple curses at the two of you.

“Where are we going?” You asked, looking at him while he was driving. He was so beautiful, and the moonlight through the windows shined on his face, lighting up his striking green eyes and soft freckles that perfectly spotted his cheeks and nose.

“A great spot for star gazing.” He replied, smiling while keeping his eyes on the road.

Soon, you reached your destination. An old, beat up barn, with a ladder on the side. “Come on, let’s go.” Lee announced gleefully, flinging and slamming his truck door shut. You giggled as you watched him sprint to the ladder, and began jogging after him.

“I hope you’re not afraid of heights.” He teased, looking back at you with a smirk, beginning to climb the ladder. “I am. You better not let me fall.” You replied, smiling back at him.

As you took Lee’s hand on the final step, he pulled you up to the roof, and sat down, looking up at the stars. “This is beautiful Lee, just beautiful.” You were amazed, and laid down for a better view.

“Almost as beautiful as you.” Lee said with a flirtatious grin, tapping you playfully with his foot.

Damnit, you thought. This is how it always plays out, someone’s interested in you, they find out how you identify and then leave.

“Lee, I have to tell you something, but I doubt you’ll see me the same.” You spoke in a shaky voice, worried about messing things up with the sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

“You can tell me anything, I’m not one to judge. I promise.” He assured you, adjusting himself closer to you, limiting the space between the two of you.

“I’m nonbinary. I’m sorry if that’s something you’re not into, but I don’t wanna have to pretend with you.” You said while staring at your hands, you couldn’t bare to see the disgusted look on his face.

“I think what I have to tell you is much more damning.”

Lee huffed out with a sarcastic laugh, mixed in with a bit of sadness. He began to explain what he was, an eater, he told you about his animalistic nature, and the life he’s been forced to lead. By the end of it, a few tears stained his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m a terrible person.” He spoke between tears, wiping his nose and clenching his jaw.

“I don’t care about that, none of that is your fault.” You said softly, cupping his cheek and wiping his tears.

“I know what it’s like to feel different, I’m outcasted by everyone I meet.”

You admitted in the moment of shared vulnerability, though the two of you fought very different battles, you understood each other. You both recognized the pain of being an outsider in a world that doesn’t understand you.

“I don’t care about your gender, Y/N,” Lee whispered, “I’ll always accept you.” He pressed his forehead to yours, the tips of your noses touching.

“You’ll always have a place to belong with me, I’ll protect you.”

This time you closed the space between the both of you, pressing your lips into his and holding his face gently. Lee placed a hand on your neck, and kept you close to his body. You spent the rest of the night, cuddled up with him on the roof, holding him close.

[laughing-with-god]

Last question for now (apologies!)

What are the personal like… styles/ vibes of their homes? Or like, how would they decorate the inside of it? Or would they at all?

(me personally, if I just won the Hunger games, the first thing I'm doing is an AD Open Door Victor's Village edition lmao)

(( Author's Note : Don't be sorry, I love questions like these! It helps me attach visuals to characters which is really fun. For this, I pulled some Pinterest pics and did some light research on the districts, but also feel free to interpret/imagine what you feel is right!!))

Jin

I picture that the Victor homes vary depending on their district, which would make sense considering the districts are in different landscapes so not all homes can be built the same

For District One, I picture little mansions with lots of glass walls for natural light. This district is apparently in the center of the U.S. (Wyoming, Idaho, Utah) so I can see some natural materials, sun roof windows, low and wide mid-century modern houses

I think stylistically, Jin would decorate his home with lots of white and browns, a colorful rug or accent furniture here and there, but he doesn't overdo it in fear of being tacky

fireplace is probably boarded up for um, obvious reasons (war flash backs lol)

I think his favorite part of his home is the kitchen. In the games, starvation was especially tough on him, so now I think he seeks comfort in food. I can see him taking cooking classes or hiring a personal chef, maybe even throwing dinner parties.

If you were to move in with him, I think he'd be okay with you changing whatever you wanted, as long as he gets to keep all his fancy kitchen appliances

Namjoon

I dont think he'd care a lot about the style of his home, I also see him rarely being there since he has so much work to do in the capitol

District Three is apparently in the midwest, and there's lots of factories that make high end technology for the capitol

Therefore, I think the victor homes there would be simple, modern/industrial condo-style homes? Lots of grays and blacks with granite accents.

I don't think Namjoon would go out of his way to purchase furniture or decor, just accepting the furnishings it already came with. He's not a sentimental guy and a part of him is always aware that his home is technically the capitol's property, not his.

I think a cool highlight of his home would be the technology. Like his tv is just a hologram or there's just some cool tech that locks all the doors and turns on the lights on at once. other disctrict victors don't even get that, it's just district three since they rule technology

If you were to move in, Namjoon would gladly welcome any change in decor, letting you know that he never saw the point before you

Jimin

So I personally feel like District Four would make more sense in a tropical place like Florida or something, therefore I feel like there would be a "jungle/beachouse" vibe to the victor homes here

Victors row would be in a vegetated area of four, not too far from the water. I don't see the capitol wanting to have victors living right on the coast since that's most likely reserved for shipments, boating, fishing and yeah....the water is probably heavily monitered in case people get ideas...

Jimin more or less kept everything the same, though he did let his desinger team go crazy with the jungle concept

I can see Jimin liking the color green and also taking care of plants, since he's pretty lonely back at Four it gives him a little sense of innocent purpose

Again, he's def more at the Capitol than here tho, often times this feels more like a vacation home

All the guest rooms get used as extra storage for all the gifts he received from capitol women. hopes to one day fill them with kids tho :(

If you were to move in, Jimin would be estatic and gladly join in any renovation plans. He'd want to be included in the choices, pick the wrong wallpaper even and he'd be pissy about it lol

Hoseok

District Eight is full of factories and textiles, so I see victor's homes being industrial condos with brick walls, exposed pipes and wooden beams

Hoseok will try to decorate and make it feel cozy, just for the sake of his siblings though

I feel like he probably gave his siblings the bigger rooms and took one of the smallest in the home

Anything his little brothers or sisters want, it's theirs no question asked

I can see him becoming a little home maker honestly. He wakes his siblings up in the morning, makes them breakfast, sends them to school, then comes back home and cleans their rooms / common spaces, does some grocery shopping, laundry ect. ect.

It's very cute and mother hen of him but he really just can't handle freetime bc then his mind wonders to dark places...

so he throws himself into caring for his siblings

If you were to move in with him, he'd welcome you and any changes you might want to have on the common spaces, but obvi is protective of his siblings' stuff.

Yoongi

Six is said to be highly populated and overly dense, borderline too many people live here. I picture it as a city too, transportation being their main hub so there's probably even a subway system

Therefore I think the captitol would make a victor buidling or something. District Six doesnt have many victors and the place is already so dense, I think a good solution would be to make one big high rise of apartments where all the living victors have their own units

Yoongi probably threw away everything in the apartment

I can see him having some chairs and a single bed. prob doesn't even have a tv bc keeps breaking them in rage every time the capitol makes an "announcement" lol

Fridge is also always empty. Boy can go days without eating so it doesn't even occur to him to have groceries on hand

Pics below are what the place should look like, before he fucked it up

If you were to move in, good luck on even hanging up a single picture. Give it a week before Yoongi flies into another rage and rips everything to shreds.

Taehyung

I think District Eleven victor homes would be like large, farmhouses on hills away from the rest of the town

I picture feilds upon feilds in this district, since it's all about farming so it's probably very big in terms of land

I also don't think the capitol had many of these houses made, correctly assumming that Eleven wouldn't have many victors

I think Taehyung actually loves his home, quite liking the simplicity and size of it

I can see him starting a little garden in the back yard, or even getting some chickens to keep him busy

He probably would read to his mother too, he most likely set her up in the master bedroom and waits on her hand and foot

If you were to move in, he wouldn't mind little changes here and there. But at his core, he is a minimalist and would rather you not clutter up his space. Don't you two (three including his mom lol) have everything you need already? There's no shame in the simple life.

Jungkook

District Two is up in the mountains! Very cold and harsh winters, thin air but I'd imagine its very beautiful

The homes here are built in luxury cabin style at the base of the mountains. District Two also has the most victors, so I imagine their victors' village is quite the neighborhood

Jungkook is fond of the views he gets from his home. I think he'd like hiking too so he enjoys the proximity to nature

As for the interior, Jungkook doesn't really care. I know, most of the victors on this list don't care but like, kill 23ish kids in a game and ig it puts things into perspective lol

Like Yoongi, all he really needed was a good bed and he'd be okay. I don't think he got rid of the furniture the capitol provided, but he doesn't have an opinion on it either

If you were to move in, Jungkok would just hand you the cash to buy whatever decor you want, just as long as it's not "too girly"

[artistictiana]

Male Texas Headcanons

Texas is the most diverse in geographical regions. He claims he is the south but he is too west for them. His siblings are the west but he isnt western enough to fit in that group. And he is too south to be apart of the midwest.

He looks like he cant lift a lot, but in reality he can lift more than people think.

During meetings, he is always found sleeping at the beginning due to the time zone and his armadillo nature.

Sleeps for 16 hours, but the eight hours he is awake, he is the most productive person.

Doesn't react much to anything anyone says unless he has a good reason to. This includes debates. He won't speak unless he has his facts straight.

Still strongly hates California since he believes she is a spoild brat. (In my au she most certainly is)

Only joined the Confederacy for two reasons.

Slavery (He now regrets his action but is to prideful to admit it)

And Dixie was the only one sending him help to deal with the natives. Otherwise he didnt do much to help the confederates.

Loves to hangout with the smaller states because he sees and treats them as his kids. He mainly does this with Arkansas since he sees her everyday. (Arkansas loves it)

His best friends are Florida, Arkansas and South Carolina from the south. New York, Rhode Island, Delaware, and Connecticut, from the New England states. And Wyoming, Hawaii, and Utah, from the west.

Frinemies with Alaska.

Likes to mess with Alaska's Malamute ears since Alaska touches his.

If you annoy him enough, he will take out his hearing aids so he cant hear you as good anymore.

BBQ's insects... Its apart of his diet... dont judge.

If he takes lunch to the meetings, he always brings a shit ton extra because people love his Tex-Mex food. Mainly the west and Florida.

Is AroAce.

He does have a small crush on someone but doesnt see them enough to make him pursue a relationship.

Who is that person? I dont know... *cough* *cough* Germany *cough* *cough*

Loves to drink any alcohol made in his state, in the south, and from Germany.

Loves to eat some of Louisiana's cooking.

If he is with Florida, he will somehow mysteriously get high.

Can dig holes for gardening or planting crops.

Will transform into an armadillo and roll into a ball if frightened. Its cute honestly.

Is actually very easy to frighten if he is sleep deprived or when he is not feeling okay and or drunk.

Yells at anyone who picks a Bluebonnet. Its against his state laws for a reason!

To know if he likes something someone makes, he wont say it, but just look for his wagging tail.

Secretly watches telenovelas

Only allows Gov, DC, Alaska and Arkansas to pet him if he is in his animal form.

[sandy-writing]

Get to know me

aa ty for tagging!! @melodyatlas

characters i identify the most with:

music i feel the most myself when i play: all music tbh. like it varies a lot. i play a looott of midwest emo tbh.. but think anything from meth wax to wild rivers to amazing devils to bears in trees. yk?

if i had no limits (financial, physical, educational, etc) i would be doing this career: i absolutely Would Not Be Working. i got my first full time job at 15 i am already So over this lmaoo. but i think i'd be an author for fun. i have a lot of things i wanna make/create/share (books, tv shows, boardgame, video games etc)

favourite weather: RAINY!!! RAIN RAIN RAIN YES PLS. idrm muggy weather cus where i live its sooo hot and the clouds r just protection from the sun. but im abt to move back to Muggy Weather state and im getting the warning im gonna get sick of it lmao

a food i will always say yes to: i cant really think of one? i dont usually say yes to food in general... probably steak. js steak by itself. when i couldnt eat for almost weeks at a tim, mum would just give me cut up steak to at least get some nutrients in me.

no-pressure tagging @jasontoddspussy @sincerelysolaris @romeliesinruins

[turtlemagnum]

some facts about me and restaurants:

i always order my drinks without ice because drink almost always comes out cold anyways and now i get more drink per drink and i dont have to worry about my drink getting watered down because of the ice melting

because of this, i couldn't tell you how many times the server brought me with ice anyways and i had to be like "hey, this has ice. dont-wait no, dont take it back, just dont put ice in the refill ok"

i really dont like wasting food, hence why i'm very adamant about them not just dumping the first drink. the rare times i don't finish something and dont bring it home are like when the burger at that chain steakhouse made me puke. pretty much anything less than "literally made me puke" at least gets brought home so at worst, i can remake it to be more edible

back to drinks: i generally dont use straws. a while back i realized that as far as actual restaurant cups go, straws dont really do anything other than add another thing to throw out and just generally slowing down my sippage. from what i understand this is different for physically disabled people, but given how (as far as i'm aware) i'm not physically disabled, i can just lift the cup just fine. this does not apply to things like fast food cups, like you ever break a straw when using one of those? i swear they're designed to be as inconvenient to drink out of without a straw as possible, the mcdonalds one the last time i tried had this little lip on the brim that felt like it was specifically designed to spill shit when drunk without a straw

if it's a place i've been to enough times to know what the menu is right off the top of my head, i usually know exactly what i want before i even sit down. the local bar i'm a regular at, the owner lady who takes my orders when shes there; she knows my order by heart at this point. honestly got a little uncomfortable with how much shit she gave me when i got something else that one time, even if it was joking (i'm pretty sure, anyways)

probably my most controversial opinion: i like my meat well done. crispy, even. the other day i got food with my grandparents and the sausage they gave me tasted about as close to uncooked as you could get while still technically being fully cooked, was wretched. when it comes to burgers and steak, i can definitely tolerate medium or rare stuff, dont get me wrong. i feel like what's probably the Objectively Correct stance to have is that some meats are better suited to some styles of preperation, and that's fine. but honestly when it's done poorly, rare/medium beef tastes like a wet goddamn sock. wretched

so, something about me: despite being whiter than a significant amount of white supremacists, i can handle my spice pretty well. to put this into perspective, my mom's last boyfriend was black (and therefore more used to actually seasoned food), and we got chicken from a local place and i heard him from the other room go "hoo! that's hot!" in a fairly exasperated tone, and while i definitely think the place actually knew how to season their goddamn food it wasn't like, loudly exclaim how spicy it was levels of spice, y'know? at least to me. anyways, this sucks for me because i live in the midwest, where an arguable majority of places don't season for shit, probably because a significant amount of their customer base are like my grandma who eats tacos without seasoning. not fuckin making that up. like it was just cooked ground beef with like, maybe a miniscule amount of salt, put into these nasty ass tortilla bowl things with a texture and taste not too dissimilar to plastic. i remember this one time i asked a place what kinda seasoning they used in their fish, and they just straight up said "none". god i hated that restaurant, it was like if you distilled all of the worst qualities of suburbanite wasps into a physical space

my default food i get at most places is definitely a burger. it's at least partially because it's generally hard to fuck up to the point of inedibility, but also because most places around here don't make any fried chicken at all other than tenders and That's Like My Main Thing, Bro. sometimes i get pizza, which is somehow more common than fried chicken but also i fucking hate noodles for the most part so it's pretty much the only edible thing for me to get at italian restaurants. the exception to not liking noodles is in wonton soup, but ever since the chinese place we always went to closed down we haven't been able to find a place that's nearly as good.

finally, back to drinks. my specific drink of choice tends to change over the years but stay pretty consistent over any given period of time. i've been a mtn dew typea gamer for the past few years but i've been liking cherry coke more and more, which was my favorite circa 2016 or so. i definitely feel like i'm being a bit more mixed about it, though. recently i've been drinking a fair bit of water simply due to the fact that the only other shit in the house is this diet root beer that my grandpa always gets because it's on sale and he insists on buying diet shit. and like, it's objectively good tasting, it's still fucking root beer which i've never tasted actually bad root beer. it's just that he buys so much of it for extended periods of time that i'm so sick of it that i'm probably not gonna be able to drink root beer in any significanf quantities for at least a few years. but yeah i definitely feel like i can get behind any kind of pop. my fallback is standard coke because that's something literally everywhere has, and while there's definitely a tangible difference in taste between coke and pepsi i wouldn't say one's better or worse than another. my preference lays in RC cola anyways, which i've literally never seen served in any restaurant but god dammit it's so fucking good, dude

[transgenderer]

i just had an extremely sloppy wet pulled pork sandwich at this restaurant berghoff in chicago that was apparently established in 1898, it is described as a german restaurant. what do you think germans would think of such fare? like is there a divergence between modern german food and midwest american german food

sadly because of the vegetarianism i have had very little access to traditionally german food that is not bread. i mean. bread is awesome. big fan of bread. but i dont know about their meat foods. their vegetarian stuff is either fully ethnic (ethnized...?) (like, its a middle eastern place). anyway they DO make good pumpkin and lentil soup. but thats about it as far as traditional german true-meals

[pixeljade]

Seen a lot of people here in Midwest freaking out because of the fire smoke goin on, and just. Look. Im not meaning this to belittle your concerns but this is really nothing.

Im a transplant (Central CA to Central OH) and this smoky sky and bad air quality is like. Very low tier threat from smoke. Back where I'm from, there was once a solid month and a half where the air quality was so bad from the smoke that breathing outside for about 5 minutes without a KN95 mask was equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes, in terms of cancer risk. One of the days i left mine at home I had to be driven back home after about 15 minutes because I felt dizzy and sick. And thats just one time, I know folks who lost their homes in fires, and others who lost beloved pets. Theres neighborhoods that burned up and never got rebuilt.

And again, I know it sounds like im being all 'oh silly midwesterners dont know REAL fire lmao' but thats not what I mean this to be. I mean this to be 'we are entering an era of increased fire risk and this is merely the tip of the iceberg, if you lose your shit over this you will not survive'. Dont freak out, freaking out is how you make dumb moves in an emergency. Get smart.

When summer rolls around, go over fire emergency plans with the people you live with. Stock a bugout bag, and make sure you have plenty of supplies like KN95 masks and clean water (there have been times when water supplies get cut off or contaminated in fire areas). Also food and toilet paper should be stocked up in advance, these arent things youd normally lose access to, but in emergencies people freak out and buy dumb things (as we saw in the pandemic). Plan escape routes. If you end up in a smoke zone and have sensitive lungs, get a box fan and slap an air filter on the back for a cheap indoor air cleaner. Stay hydrated and calm, and keep monitoring fire zones in case you need to evac...fire spreads a lot quicker than you think it does!

Like. I get that its frightening because 'this wasnt supposed to happen here', but it is. It IS happening here, and thanks to climate change its going to happen here more. You gotta accept this and you gotta plan or you will be one of the victims. If you manage to keep your cool, and learn to survive, you WILL survive though! Being smart and calm is really all it takes to get through it. What ive listed here are just basic tips, theres a lot more to it, so if you wanna be full smart, google fire and smoke emergency tips.

[dancing-cockroaches]

I feel so socially inept, that it would be concerning to anyone I try to approach. Groups/clubs are off the table, the app Meetup is kinda scarce/bare bones and people dont organize that sort of shit on Nextdoor here. I realized I dont know my neighbors, most people know their neighbors, but I never run into them because our schedules dont line up. My solution? Sit in a chair all day on my front yard during my day off.

What I'd do in order to initiate friendship, I just thought to myself I dont know. So instead I started thinking, what would I say to try and initiate friends "hi, how are you?" They'd mostly likely say good and walk away. I've never seen a conversation go past "how are you?" Maybe be a bit more specific? "Hi I noticed you live next door, and I have no friends, so I wondered why not just approach the neighbor, what do you want to talk about?". Maybe I should serve food. Put up one of em shitty folding table. Put up a sign that says "free food - take some" and if they ask why I say "I want to make friends since I have none".

It could go one of two ways: I make a friend. Or. Everyone actively avoids that "lady who sits outside waiting for people to pass her to give them food because shes lonely". Or if I lived midwest, would just be said as simply as "that ones a bit of an oddball"

[why-rock-look-tasty-if-no-eat]

See like, one thing most people outside of the Midwest don't understand is just how much Midwesterners put into Ope, and how polite we are. Like, at my old job (cross country) I said Ope because I walked into a desk and a coworker from NY yelled "That's actually a thing!?!?"

Something that I find funny is that most Americans don't know the layers of politeness to Midwesterners. We can be as complicated as high society or be as simple as media protrays us.

Another thing that most big town and up people don't understand is that there's words specific to some regions. I grew up in a small farming town that used Ho dunk, another town I lived in had Po dunk. The first town also used Rinky Dink but the second didn't have it or anything similar to it.

Word phrasing and intonation is also important here, because Midwesterners have mastered the art of being polite while insulting you. Depending on the context, having your home being called Rinky Dink can mean that it's quaint or you're being passively called trailer trash. Calling a strangers house Ho dunk? Straight up rude. But calling a friend house Ho dunk? You're friends and their house is your house so they won't make an effort to clean. Unless you're saying it behind their back and to someone else, then it's a stab in the back.

If you're at a house were you don't know the people all that well it's polite to say "Welp, s'ppose I should head out now" and slap your knees then stand up while saying it, after the event ended, and spend less than 5 minutes of goodbyes. Good friends are less than 10.

Close friends and family can spend up to 40 minutes saying goodbye, but 30 is the comfortable amount. If the guest stands up then the host should stand up to. If the host don't stand when you do, you're either very close friends/siblings and more than likely has keys to house or know how to get in, or the host just don't like you.

Being neighbors is another thing entirely, because it's a 'you scratch my back I scratch yours' type of situation. They mow your lawn after doing theirs? Send over a food item or do another chore for them. You are sick and they haven't seen you in awhile? Boom, concerned neighbors wishing you well.

Lost pets? Time to wrangle that dog/cat and wait on the curb for your owners! My grocery shopping can wait. Or even 'Hey, I just drove back into town on that road, tell your [family or friend that uses that road] to be careful!' and you only see that person like once a week.

If you think a (rural) Midwesterner doesnt like you, here's some ways to tell if they do: They dont apologize or excuse themselves when walking past you in an aisle. They stay seated during goodbyes. They don't try to catch up with you but catch up with others. They don't do small favors without being asked to do so.

But I'm also from central Midwest and grew up in small farming towns, and spent more time living in villages (less than a 1,000~ people) than I have cities. Where I live rn is so small and far away that there aren't any public transport, and I can walk from one end of the town to the other in like 20 minutes or less. The closest Walmart is 2 towns over and 30 minutes going 80 mph (128 km).

If you read all of that, the you're a nerd :)

Go drink water, eat, and sleep. Nerd.

Clark Kent, trying to leave a gala he’s covering: Ope, just gonna squeeze right past you.

Bruce Wayne, who heard Superman say the same thing at a Justice League meeting that morning: No fucking way

[pwblogarchive]

February 2005

February 1, 2005

im guessing you are regretting this monster you created. he gave me a prescription and said "these will take take care of your shyness". noone really gets that part though. and who ever wanted you to come out of your shell anyhow. maybe im just pretty sure that i am a total bore. and there's nothing tragic at all, this is (i'm) completely ordinary. and that's whats so tragic. it's so fucking mundane. so while we're all wasting our eyesight on these screens late into the night dying to find some connection to someone- our backs breaking from being hunched over the keyboard- im sending mail addressed to myself just so i get some. im looking in the mirror and dissecting myself, just a smile connected to a pulse, barely connected at that. this wont make any sense when i read it in the morning. i dont want to sleep alone anymore.

- petey

February 2, 2005

“lets pet puppies”

seriously though, lets pet puppies. i have one at home and i had a dream the other night that he was in desperate need of some petting. then i went to my folks and sure enough, he needed some pets. so i did. anyway, im way late on the oc trend, but im into it. ive been co-opting steeg's season 1 dvd and i must say im in love. im three discs in thanks to her. i dont have much to say about it other than its hard to stop watching. its really late right now. ive consumed half of a crumb cake, half a bag of chips with some dip, the rest of my salami, some soy milk, and some rc cola. im disapointed with the fact that ive been periodically drinking soda. it makes me feel so sick. i got an exercise bike the other day. havent used it yet. i should consider using it. it took me 2 hours to put it together. i feel like it owes me some sort of compensation. maybe a fine meal? a flick? a foot massage? who knows, its really up in the air. havent really made any purchases lately except i went grocery shopping the other day. now i have food. ive been trying not to eat out and not to buy stuff. its going somewhat swimingly. i must say that this is such an un-interesting entry. its as boring as a new yorker cartoon. its not fun like those picture searches in highlights magazine. i miss highlights. oh well. currently sleep is calling me but im trying to fight it. and now its about to overtake me. so i bid you all a farewell. if you have foreskin, clean it regularly. sanders, im talking to you.

February 4, 2005

“honeynutcheerios” 12:55am

I am gonna do a real update later. Me and patrick are sitting the cafe they shot swingers in. I keep calling patrick "baby". Joe and andy are asleep back in the midwest. I saw the initial art for the record cover today, I don't think you will expect it. I like it a lot though. look around the internet for a new song in the next month or so, it will be very very hidden.

Our friends in new found glory are in europe right now so we had to send chad an mp3 to scream on and send back, bi-continental like jayz "the blueberry still connects"... Look out for that on the record. Chad that is, not jay z.

Oh yeah is it me or do I have a total crush on "kate was like" from the messageboard. Brighteyes, weakerthans, super cute and an attitude... Swoon. Girls don't come much hotter.

Too bad I'm gay.

oh yeah and i'm trapped in l.a. and homesick. so i want to exchange intergeek valentines with you. if you send me a sweet valentine message, ill send you one back: valentinepete@hotmail.com-

be mine

Peeeeeeeter

ps im playing ghosts and gobins on oldschool nintendo and i think im gonna make a bottle of milk that tastes like after honey nut cheerios were in it- how good would it be if they sold that shit. im not making sense,

February 8, 2005

Iamthedream - Youarethedreamer

new clandestine stuff for the spring, pick it up over at www.clandestineindustries.com in the next couple of months.

February 14, 2005

Turn Up The Geek Factor

im sorry i have gotten sick. my valentines will be finished as soon as possible.

stay lovely.

peter

February 14, 2005

throwing up in the sink(ing feeling)

Hey. I'm back. Actually not really. I am in nyc. I found myself here last week trying to get better and get stuff for our record finished. Thanks for all of the kind words from everyone. Don't want to say too much right now. Keep your eyes on the site. Interesting things will be happening in the next month. Buy your tickets for the u.s. Tour now its almost all sold out. Go watch harold and maude. Clandestine has a couple of limited and exclusive items in hottopic right now. Stop by and grab some and tell them we sent you. I can't wait to see everybody.

Trouble loves me but not as much as you do I hope.

Peterpan

[the-firebird69]

He can get big but is not it's actually in the Hulk body eats his own people to look like them Not hard for him to get volunteers they don't believe it's him don't shut up his kids are much worse and we have a few things to say you're being mean to everybody you suck at everything you're gonna die miserable pieces of **** like this guy we don't really care but you're mistreating our sons or mistreat you and we're gonna get you out of here. We do see these things are working. You see that his ideas are great and we see his idea for BJ A and it is to make a frame for cars and He said he has three models of cars so you take three different car models we make a frame and a body like this and it wouldn't have to look exactly like it but it's simple so you can stamp it in like a few pieces For now higher tons of welders to train them Stamping the panels flat is much easier and the panel for the body can be structural and metal most of the interior it lasts longer it doesn't smell it's easier to keep clean with a vinyl ceiling and they get replaced easy. Unfortunately obama tried for the welding machines without doing this. So what we say is you know what you're doing That in our territory they beat each other to a pulp lsoe intel and lose wars and battles all. macs too. So we start this off by saying this stuff then let's say to be kind they're coming they see Max of the equipment then I guess that's permission to attack and yeah so this is how it goes we need that equipment too we need a front for our car and Brad designed a real cheap one it's not like this but it's not bad looking they just don't wanna make it people need cars they're sick of fighting over scraps he wants to try it so gonna keep at it pretty soon this project will launch the motorcycles have and we're building them and Perry is helping we have several plants we're gonna start back up soon and yeah within days right now he's gonna put up with Brad designed

Thor Freya

who's really excited there's no brad I talked to him he said he wants to make him for his people to do. And my husband says you have to pay for Chinese food not this Friday but because she wants to help get it going you know Brad agrees. You said your ideas aren't that bad but they're weird here's what you're saying the manufacturing area in Australia I was like a river around it but they did in the Midwest and it worked and he agrees it's a good idea he doesn't like the bridge idea having like no way there but it does like it so I'm gonna help out

Hera

we dont ooposeit as much a ppl think these infigh to rancid levels

macs

Olympus

you use it always but yeh we ont stop

brd

[kaidatheghostdragon]

I see the replies saying danny is a small-town boy with no concepts of expenses in the big city, and raise you that this is a deliberate image he is projecting. Lots of headcanons abound that jack and maddie scare away the irs. Danny would learn from them. Sam and tucker probably learned from them. Sam would be interested in finances because its the most straightforward way to uncover corruption. Tuckers hacking skills would give sam a way to access and investigate any suspicious organization.

Jack and maddie are engineers and good with numbers. Jack is often headcanoned to be autistic, which i think is where the headcanon comes from that he'd be an excellent rules lawyer. Translate that to finances, they would definitely be smart enough to recognize how to enact the most common types of fraud, and how to improve on it to mask it well enough to get away with it. Do they actually employ and fraud strategies? Eh, probably only against Acceptable Targets(tm).

Point is, danny has a buttload of money that he wants to circulate without looking suspicious. That's essentially the prime goal of money laundering, and he knows all the tricks of the trade courtesy of his chaotic-good aligned parents teaching him What Not To Do With Finances (Unless He Can Get Away With It).

Essentially, you own a business, in which you inject money alongside legitimate income, then as the owner of the business, you make a profit from both the real and injected income, which you can spend as clean money because the source is traced to the business.

1. Underpricing goods sold is a common strat. Danny can pad the numbers with a few extra bucks of his own, so they look like normal prices in the financial record.

2. The homeless population eat free, as long as they dont scare off paying customers with their smell and grime. They're still wrung up, but danny pays the entirety of the bill with the 'dirty' money.

Some of the paying customers complain about the smell and uncleanliness of the homeless patrons, so danny ends up building a community shower in one of the back rooms so he doesnt have to turn anyone away. Danny's from the midwest, where trucker stops are common, so his cafe is designed around that sort of concept: showers and self-care in the back, ready-made to-go meals and snacks out front, sit-down cafe to one side, overpriced souvenirs on the other.

3. Community showers are free, but the number of uses is logged. In the financial record, they are a paid service with associated expenses. Danny logs each use as a transaction, in which he pays the bill with his own 'dirty' money.

4. Danny starts a pay-it-forward wall filled with prepaid receipts for various food and drink items that anyone can use or donate to. 90% of the receipts are paid for with 'dirty' money as anonymous cash donations. Any spoiled food can additionally be paired to a pay-it-forward receipt, so nobody actually ate the spoiled food, and his budget doesn't look like he's selling more stock than he's ordered. The paired receipt can be thrown and replaced with a new donation.

Back to the self-care portion, it eventually expands into a thrift store laundromat combo, where the homeless can clean their clothes and trade them in for something more comfortable. Donations are appreciated, but danny just finds it easier to buy out the clearance rack at all the nearby stores.

Old clothes, if they're safe to burn, pad out the fuel for the barrel fire in the alley out back during winter. Is it exactly safe? Probably not, but surviving one more night is generally higher on people's priority lists than saving the environment, and the clothes would probably either end up in a landfill or get burned in an incinerator anyway, so danny considers it a wash.

5. The laundromat is treated the same as the showers, functionally free but financially paid for by danny.

6. The thrift store is treated as a non-profit side-venture, which, by its simple existence, allows danny a ton of tax write-offs. Trade-ins that are too worn out to resell are treated as a cash donation (again, danny's money), which is used by the nonprofit to buy out the clearance racks of nearby stores, legitimizing the charity. Danny makes money via the tax write-offs on the cafe business for financially supporting the nonprofit.

Inspectors are the worst. Every last one of them in gotham is corrupt, demanding bribes before passing inspection. Counterfeit money is common in gotham, and danny accepts it because he can trade it out for his own money, though he carefully records where it came from in case anyone comes asking. The counterfeit bills, instead of being tossed, pay the inspectors' bribes. They wanna work outside the law, danny is happy to oblige.

7. Any counterfeit money that is replaced by his own is essentially doubled. Using it to pay illegal bribes makes it much less traceable, as the inspector is not going to declare illegal income. If the inspector is caught with fake money and outs danny, danny will out them for bribery. Its mutually-assured destruction, in which danny is confident he'll come out on top because at least he's genuinely helping people, which he's certain is all the bats really care about considering red hood's whole deal, and the bats are pretty much the final say in gotham.

Ngl this is a short one.

So Danny comes to Gotham. Down on his luck. But lo and behold, he still has access to the kingly vaults! He doesn't have to worry about money!!! He can just buy a small apartment and live out his miserable little life In luxury!

But then he is stopped on a horrible and a dark stump in his plan. How in the 7 hells is he gonna explain it to the IRS ??????

Money laundering????

Can't he just say he found a mysterious big pile of gold and be done with it?

No, Danny . How are you gonna explain the fact that you keep finding mysterious little gold files to the tax man . Jazz says emphatically through a video call . Which is a multi dimensional cuz I can't explain why sam wont just give him the money. And btw the just assume that the vaults has a magic function to give the money to him in the local currency.

Sso from that day onwards Gotham had a new little cafe in a quiet little nook. The prices are super cheap. And it by far has the best fudge in all of Gotham. If you exclude Alfred's.

The gothamites love it. It's a favorite college hangout. Everyone is pretty sure the cafe is a front. Everyone is 100% sure of it. But in this economy who the hell cares. At least it's not nfts.

People can actually benefit from this because we can get like a whole breakfast for like 4 dollars ( an au where like Danny's 2000s world is like super cheap compared to the modern Gotham city and nobody taught the poor boy common prices of this world. Danny's thinking like how do I keep accidentally going into these rich people stores with their ridiculous prices, Ughh guess I'll have to buy this I don't want to go farther) and the quality is good too. The scrawny little twink owner sure as hell does not know much about ingredients prices or did the bare minimum study of business.

Anyway when the bats came sniffing (the scrunkly little guy was innocent blame Fenton luck) and we'll tried to interrogate the owner people actually chained themselves to the front like the worlds most confused save the trees activists.

[oysterie]

two of my coworkers are both also sea im going to ask both of them when i see them if they have any asian restaurants recs cause i trust them more than what ppl online say 😭

[stag-bi]

i dont. know who told you we have to eat out every day but at least where i am (midwest) dining out is a special treat? if we get food we go and grab it or order in and eat at home, going to resturaunts is like.. special occasion (or we're already out and hey the food place is right there).

also like when im on my own it IS a smaller meals situation, i think 2-3 big meals is more of a 'living with a family unit' thing. and even then we just do whatever with no centralized meals pretty regularly. but you have to eat dinner yknow. have to feed yourself. sometimes i dont want to make the sandwich but i have to and it just keeps going

yea i mean the Going Out thing is a treat ofc but i meant that any food cooked by a chef is also a treat over here, whether thats eaten as takeout or at a restaurant :D i regularly see american memes where its like "that feel when its time to pick where to order dinner from today and ur wife is indecisive" and im like????? who are these billionaires w daily restaurant money????? yet apparently its relatable enough somehow?????

idk abt ur situation specifically bc i dont know u but the things i mentioned were what id been told by all the americans i know who somehow have empty fridges all the time and when u talk abt it they keep acting like the only choices are 1. cooking food from scratch 2. getting takeout. and its super mega confusing to me cause i have stockpiled a bunch of shit in the freezer that i can have for dinner at any time w/o cooking