#i think i have the urge to draw fanart already...

[crewmatecherry]

Sorry, this isn't like my regular posts of my art and stuff, BUT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE TRAILER FOR AMONG US'es ANIMATED SHOW WAS REALISED LIKE 10 HOURS AGO... Here's a screenshot!

I think we can all agree how ominous that shadowy person on the screen looks, right? Definitely some villian vibes. If you haven't seen it yet, the trailer is on Innersloth's yt channel!!

[bubblegumflavor]

It's what Daniel would do, right? XD

[kittydog]

[the-one-who-lambs]

hi hey holy fuck i'm done with this. I tried to render for the first time following a "15 minute" tutorial and my noob ass turned it into a 3 hour learning experience. But now I have Narinder's reference for The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God! Rambles under readmore

SO I BARELY DRAW because I started learning how to draw like... May of last year, and then went bonkers over the summer making lots of progress and once the school year started in august I dropped it to focus on writing... and have drawn basically 1 thing in between then and now. Anyway. Last week I remembered, oh yeah, I used to draw sometimes. And suddenly had an all consuming urge to practice again.

And you know what? I forgot how fucking FUN drawing is. I take it much less seriously than I do my writing so my technique for now is pretty much "go ham and try a bunch of shit because you're getting practice and having fun with it anyway". and it IS fun until I try to do a specific thing and can't figure out how so thanks to those who tuned in to my stream tonight to see me push through the frustrating part of finishing this LMAO. uh according to the krita file this took me 13 and a half hours

If you didn't catch it a while back, the one thing I drew during my kinda-art-hiatus was my Lambert reference! Normal outfit, casual outfit (that they sometimes wear while off-duty, usually when visiting Ratau or just hanging out alone), and wedding outfit ^^

...Which means now that I have my narilamb references I can commission my friends. i have a few people who i already plan to open my wallet for.

"Ive already drawn you fanart for ur fic and now the outfits are very slightly wrong :<" ITS FINE I AM CHERISHING IT FOREVER PLS DONT CHANGE IT ITS PERFECT

"is it okay if i draw your designs" Why do yall think i would be mad about this i will eat that shit UP i would fucking LOVE that and I'm already foaming at the mouth because i'd been asked that a couple times while i was drawing narinder's reference lol

I'm still a beginner and constructive criticism is welcome! Will probably make less intensive references for the OCs in Risen/Fallen or at least draw them, Thenana and Juno for sure

[blazehedgehog]

After watching SAGE's 2024 trailer, you ever get the feeling that most people want to be making indie games instead of fan games nowadays,? Every year there's been less and less fan works there.

This is the first year I've really felt it in any meaningful way.

There have been attempts for more than a decade to rename SAGE to drop the "Sonic" part. I've always pushed back against that and at this point the branding is too strong to give up, I think. People know about and come to SAGE because the brand is strong. Renaming it would be a death sentence.

Taking off my business hat, it's a bummer to see fangames in the minority here. Everybody wants to hop on that indie game gravy train and chase the success of Pizza Tower (seriously, count how many Pizza Tower clones are in the trailer this year) or Freedom Planet or Spark the Electric Jester or whatever.

And it's easy to congratulate people for striking out on their own and making original games. I was one of the many voices urging Sabrina to divorce Freedom Planet from the Sonic franchise and make it into an original game she could sell. So she ran a crowdfunding campaign (multiple, actually), was successful, and now we have two Freedom Planet games. And that's great!

But... does that mean all fangames should go away forever?

The example I lean on the hardest is comic books.

A lot of the guys who created the biggest super heroes aren't around anymore. They gave up control long ago or are straight up dead now. These books are effectively officialized fanfiction now, as are the $300,000,000 movies based on them. An ever-increasing number of people writing, drawing and directing these characters today were not alive when they were originally created.

But people still keep writing Batman stories, officially or otherwise. Because there are some stories you can only tell with Batman. Now, you could break off and make your own character that's similar to Batman, build up this history for him, and then finally tell your original story with that character. And maybe that's satisfying, to have built something of your own like that.

But for one: that's a lot of work. Batman is interesting because he has decades (almost a century now) of history behind him to play off of and work with. There are people out there who will tell you to just start writing your dream story and forget about building up to it first, but that's more about motivation and confidence than the idea that stories don't need historical context.

And two: that's already been done.

There's a good chance you know who Rob Liefeld is from his, uh, "distinctive" art style. He also created Deadpool, a katana-wielding mercenary assassin that dresses in red and black, whose real name is Wade Wilson. But before Deadpool, he created Deathstroke, a katana-wielding mercenary assassin that dresses in orange and black, whose real name is Slade Wilson.

Here is a guy who has built a career on copying his own work (and the work of others) over and over and over again.

Did it make Rob Liefeld rich and famous? Technically yes, but he kind of got rich because other people made better work using his characters, and he's famous for being kind of a hack.

So which is better?

Creative output you can do right here, right now, today, but is considered "fanfiction" or "fanart" or a "fangame", which may or may not lead to you being the person handling the official thing at some point down the road...

Or spending years of your life toiling to bring an original concept to life, and even if you struggle through all of the boredom and hardship of getting your original product out the door, it gets lost in the noise of now-million other creators trying to do the exact same thing. And then, at the end of your launch, after 2, 3, even 5 years of working and working and working, you've only made enough money to cover rent on your apartment for a month and a half.

Or, to put it another way:

Are you ditching fangame development because you have a legitimately great story you want to tell, or are you just doing it because you can't make money on a fangame?

Are you just creating another Bloodstrike?

As someone who has struggled to justify putting lots of hard work into a fangame myself, and have both made very popular fangames and some not-so-great original games, I don't know if I have a definitive answer for you. But I do wish there were more fangames at the fangaming event, and I will say, as always, if I could get paid a livable wage for making fangames, I would drop everything and do it in a heartbeat.

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[idolomantises]

I think I’m gonna discuss this once and hopefully never have to bring it up again. Originally I wanted to talk about it on Twitter but people are very disrespectful when it comes to mental health so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Basically, I haven’t been doing so great, mentally. Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m safe and surrounded by people I care about, and it’s been like that for months. I just, I haven’t been feeling good.

For people who do follow me on accounts like Twitter and Instagram, you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since January. I was struggling to feel motivated to make something for my main accounts despite having countless ideas I’d love to work on. I feel better now and do plan on getting something done in March, but that sudden lack of motivation is pretty rare for me. Art is not only my job but a big hobby for me, I just love drawing. I did get some nsfw art done at least.

I don’t know what really prompted my mental health decline, I’ve been getting a few worried messages and fanart because someone insulted my art. But that didn’t hurt me at all, it actually boosted my account and patreon.

I guess I just… got sad?

I have a really bad tendency to suppress and even ignore my trauma and feelings of guilt. And I guess one day I really sat with my thoughts and I just, lost it I guess. I have so much traumatic memories and sudden and intense feelings of self loathing, something I’ve never felt in almost a decade, that it got overwhelming. I couldn’t reassure myself, I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because how do you confront things that happened years ago? You feel almost irrational. It’s just memories that haunt you, it’s nothing physical or tangible and yet it’s a crushing feeling of anxiety, self hatred and resentment.

I was crying almost every day, and crying so much that my eyes kept hurting long after I was done, and I could barely see my own screen. I’ve had paranoid thoughts about myself and others, thoughts I can’t get into because they’re so deeply irrational. I was feeling suicidal urges and thoughts of self harm. I don’t see myself doing it, but it’s so frequent and overwhelming it’s like I’m already planning my suicide note.

I was talking to my therapist about it, that I was starting to hate being alive. That I hated living. That I could spend the next 50 years of my life with no more conflict or trauma and I’d still be in intense misery and turmoil. They’re feelings I couldn’t really bring myself to tell friends about because what could they say? How do you calm yourself down and reassure yourself. I can’t even talk about my trauma verbally without crying. And it’s funny because sometimes minor irks started to affect me negatively. I was feeling anxious about what to draw because I didn’t want to do deal with homophobic backlash.

I went to a therapist, I talked to friends, Ive been working out more and eating better, I did everything I should do to improve my mental health and all of a sudden a single night just sitting in my room destroyed everything I was slowly building up over the past 5 years.

It’s been really difficult for me. I think also, I just felt so much guilt over not being the best person I could be. I decided to lessen my online usage, not just for my mental health but because I really wanted to work on being a better person. I want to stop hating myself and letting my trauma push me down and I want to do just be better and do better as a person. A lot of people have been very forgiving and kind to me but I don’t feel like it’s enough and I want to do more and I want to feel better about myself. I want to give everything I can to people around me. I’ve been going to therapy a lot more lately and things are getting better for me, but it’s been a very slow process.

I just want to repeat that nothing serious has happened to me. Nobody attacked me in a way that negatively affected my health. A lot of people, friends and strangers have been really nice to me these past few months. I just was doing a lot of self reflecting and unintentionally forced myself to confront a lot of my trauma. I’m saying trauma a lot. I don’t want to get into depth about what I endured because it’s my business but people who do know me know how bad things were for me. I don’t want to feel like that again. I want to feel better, and I want to do better.

Sorry for the long read. That’s just how I feel.

[billcipher-rpblog]

the urge to draw more and more fanart and comics for this blog specifically is so strong

it has me in a chokehold

i am going to lose my mind

i think i already have

-the person behind hug anon

(Mod) Same honestly. I kinda want to draw art for this RP too. I might :0

[fontasticcrablettes]

Been really thinking about making a modern Tales crossover AU these past few days, and i’ve got a basic premise in mind, but I’m relatively new to long form writing, and i keep backing out due to the urge of “i’m not writing these characters correctly/they wouldn’t be like this”. Any tips for a newcomer writer to get over that kind of anxiety?

I'm going to try to give you actionable advice beyond the generic "Write anyway, even if it's not living up to your expectations, because writing poorly is the only way to learn how to write well" (even though all of that is true).

Writing is a skill like any other. The more practice you've had, the faster and more effortless it feels. You know how talented and experienced artists can just free hand some fanart and it looks just the character instantly? But a beginner artist will probably have to draw a sketch with guidelines, block things in, and gradually add more detail to get it to look right.

This is the same with writing! When you're just starting out, the dialogue and character actions can be like that rough sketch. Just giving yourself the idea of where things go and how the scene is moving. You can then give it more passes to get it sounding right.

So let's think about your problem. You're worried about, "They wouldn't be like this." But what thought comes next? Anxiety is telling you to follow that with, "so I should give up." But I'm telling you to follow it with another question: "So how would they be?"

Because I think that if you look at your writing and think "They wouldn't act like this," then what that tells me is that you know how they do act. How can you recognize that they're out of character if you have no idea what in-character looks like? This is like Dumbo's magic feather: the power is already inside you!

If you recognize that, for example, the dialogue you wrote for someone doesn't sound right, try to think of a time in canon when they said something similar - a similar level of tension, similar emotional state, similar level of intimacy with whom they're speaking. Now you have example of how they speak and behave in canon. Use that as reference for when they would be sarcastic, what sort of slang they'd use, how formal they'd be, etc.

Writing an AU setting can be a double-edged sword. One one hand. you might be extra anxious because they aren't in their canonical setting so you have less of a frame of reference. But on the other, I think most readers are also more forgiving of characters behaving differently in AUs. They have a different upbringing, after all; it's going to affect them. Concentrate on the second part if you're getting anxious that your AU versions of the characters aren't close enough to canon.

Ultimately, writing a lengthy fic for the first time is a daunting endeavour. A lot of people would be very intimidated to undertake a project like this! Your anxiety is likely scared in general of committing a long and effort-intensive project and looking for excuses to tell you not to even try. After all, if you don't try, you can't fail. Your anxiety is being dumb. You've got a cool project to share, and you're going to learn a lot about writing while working on it (even if some of that learning is subconscious).

Good luck! Write that fic!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Today’s replies! We’re covering a lot of topics today: some are related to our posts from this week so far, then there is one about Scott Pilgrim Takes off, and one about the Shingeki no Kyojin fanart. Let’s start with the latter one.

amydesailes asked:

Hi!

I remember a few years ago you were drawing a lot of snk related stuff. Do you think that you are making a comeback sometime? I feel like the fandom is much more calmer now.

Ohh that was such a long time ago and it was such fun time… well, a lot of it was stressful as hell because of the fandom and the shipwars and the non-shipping crowd who are quick to shit on artists who draw niche things; but to be honest, this isn’t the only reason why we stopped posting snk fanart. The main reason was that we were getting burnt out and wanted to consume some new media, and it’s nothing unusual or bad: it happens all the time. We dive deep into the title, have a lot of ideas, create AUs, draw and post stuff, and then after some time we move on. There are some titles that we revisit every other year or so, without diving too deep into them, and sometimes we just randomly remember about the characters and get the urge to draw something with them (we’ve done a couple of Zevi sketches even after technically stopping posting snk, as you might’ve seen).

With SnK, even though it’s been quite a few years already, I think it’s still kind of fresh in our minds, so we don’t have anything new to say with our posts or my art…yet. So I can’t really predict when we’ll come back, but you know what they say; a criminal always returns to the scene of the crime lol We love Shingeki very much, so even if it takes a long time, it’s inevitable.

Also, we are very grateful to have people who remember our stuff from back then and even wait for us, I am honestly surprised by it... So thank you so much for asking <3

Anonymous asked:

Which one of the Scott Pilgrim girls do you like? And other than Todd and Wallace, which other male character do you like?

My absolute favourite is probably Julie, and it’s partially because I have the Aubrey Plaza Bias, but I also really liked what they did with her character in the anime. She has the best faces, she’s so animated and so evil. I would love the second season (that we won’t get) simply to look at her more lol

I am also super weak for Kim, she and Julie both are my “best girls”. Kim’s personality just perfectly fits the type of character that I usually like, and I really like the bitter-sweetness that comes with it.

Speaking of the anime specifically, I also really like what they did with Ramona and Roxie. Their relationship didn’t get much depth in the movie (for obvious reasons, they didn’t have time to dive deeply into any relationship), and it was very delightful to see them work through what happened between them… in a way, I guess. Plus, Roxie is an idiot and that’s awesome lol

Ep3 was too much for me in general, all the girls’ interactions were very good + oh my god Hollie’s hot.

Now for the guys… Oh, Gideon, absolutely, he is great. He is such a highlight of the movie, we adore him a lot. So it was interesting to see his trajectory in the anime, and I am very happy that he is just… naturally evil and controlling fuck lol

Matthew was very enjoyable in the anime and I’m glad he got more attention, Lucas was animated very nicely and had a couple of very funny lines. I also think I developed a soft spot for Stephen at some point lol

hipsterteller asked:

I saw Vil and Neige they look so cute together…

characharing asked:

neige and vil look so smallll it's cute!

Thank you so much!! <3 I’m happy you like them hehe.

Anonymous asked:

Aw...that's cute. What life be like if those two were friends or more?

Rook wants a picture of Neige and Vil as kids

Vil would have a much calmer life, that’s for sure… I honestly can’t think of any downside of that scenario, other than it would’ve robbed us of Vil’s meltdowns over Mira’s search results lol

Oh Rook will get that picture; I am 100% that he would somehow manage to get it. This is his treasure, his most important possession; he’ll be buried with that photo…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

AWWWWWEEEE BABY VIL AND BABY NEIGH!!!!

I for sure feel like it should be canon that Neige fell for Vil around a certain part of their youths, like maybe it was for a show scene and Neige sees Vil by a tree for the scene and BOOM! CUPID STRUCK OUR BOY HARD

HEHEHE IT’S THEMMM!!!!

Yeah I’m 100% sure that Neige fell for Vil back then. Not only Vil was so cool and professional and mature, but he was also so so so pretty. Even if their characters weren’t supposed to fall in love and Neige’s character was supposed to be bullied by Vil’s character, Neige just couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty Vil is. And not a single person noticed… That’s why he’s a great actor lol

Anonymous asked:

Honestly who in the cast do you think could actually settle down with one another in some type of lasting relationship? I think Trey/Riddle for example or Azul/Idia (I feel like they count because even it is business, it's a binding thing yk)

~ 🐩 anon 

Oh good question! Other than Trey/Riddle and Azul/Idia, the first couple that comes to mind is Rook/Vil, who pretty much already feel like a couple that’s been together for quite some time. Their household situation would probably be complicated, but in general they’re each other’s partners for life I think.

I would also say ADeuce but they’re the type of couple who is always together but just can’t settle down because of some stupid reasons. Jack might steal Deuce from Ace and settle down with him lol Who else… Kalim and Jamil are stuck together, they don’t count lol

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Jamil spending eternity being in Azul's captivity.

(this is related to our latest AzuJami art… I think)

Not only this sounds hot, this sounds like Azul’s absolute dream… And he sees that dream every night, and this is why he sleeps with a smile on his face, that creep.

Anonymous asked:

Even if you don't see him as a top

Vil would be amazing at aftercare and you know it!

(this one is related to our aftercare hc post)

I agree, Anon! I actually wanted to mention him in the post because of that. He knows everything there is to know about aftercare and which products work the best. He is so well-prepared for that it’s almost ridiculous.

Jamil is also good at it, but he basically had no choice but to get good lol

[the-tzarina-alexandra-paracosm]

Some of my favourite art - a timeline

Part 2: 2010-2012

Cca. 2011 (aged 10). Mario fanart. This was my main fandom at that age. We can see the very first iteration of my signature (Alexandra D.* except with a drawn 5-point-star. I later simplified the design but otherwise kept the signature ever since).

2011 ish. Adventure Time fanart.

Mia and me fanart (does anybody else remember that show haha?). Cca. 2012

Mid-late 2012. Mario and Final Fantasy fanart. I was introduced to FF via the Mario Hoops game illustrated in the very first pic.

Late 2012. Final Fantasy I fanart.

Late 2012 or very early 2013. Final Fantasy XI fanart. One of the first documented attempts at drawing in an anime style, which will henceforth be the main influence of my artstyle for the next few years.

------

The main characteristics of this era are big heads contrasted with thin bodies and limbs. The eyes are at first simple ovals but eventually transition to an anime style. Bright colours but mostly in pencil this time; much smoother and intentional colouring than the previous years. More diverse facial expressions and poses than before, but still with significant anatomy mistakes.

From a more meta point of view, the most significant aspects of this era are 1. The development of my personal signature and 2. The intentional archiving of my art, as can be seen by the numbering system. Whereas around my tween years I had started to get extremely self-conscious about my art and threw a good chunk of it away on a whim because I didn't like it anymore, by the time I was about 11 ½ ish I developed a sense for the necessity of art preservation. Thus I stopped throwing old art away (and if I really hated half a drawing but loved another part I cropped it, hence why so many pieces of paper are visibly cut up). I was eventually very sorry that I had ever thrown out any art. While these are some well-preserved pieces, this timeframe is actually a lost media era of my art because of the sheer amount I disposed of, have away, or didn't put effort into keeping in a safe place. The first lost media era being ofc my earliest childhood drawings, which, ironically, were much more well preserved than my tween era drawings, but at some point we were no longer able to locate the box with my oldest stuff. One day I hope to find it again. I cannot say the same about my tween art, most of which I actively destroyed. This has been a harsh lesson I had to learn, and I urge any young artist to not fall into this trap, no matter how "cringe" you may think your art is. Having learned this lesson, starting around early 2013, I started keeping my drawings in a box and indexing them (hence the numbers. #4 means it was one of the very first drawings I preserved and a very recent one at the time of establishing my personal drawing box). I'm currently almost at 3000 if not already having passed that threshold. That's 3k pictures in a 12 year timeframe. And I'm sure that if I had never lost any piece of my art ever, the lifetime number of drawings would be double that.

So if you, especially if you're a young artist, ever feel insecure, please don't throw away or destroy your art! And remember that progress takes time. I'm showing my favourite drawings across the years but please remember that it took my entire life + thousands of drawings worth of practice to reach my current level. Don't compare yourself to other artists, your art is worth keeping around even if not yet to the level you expect.

[paperboy-pb]

Now that the prologue is done, I can't thank the fans of this series enough.

No, we haven't hit any particular follower milestone. The story has just begun. And most of you haven't given me any sort of financial support to help me out, either. (And that's alright! I haven't asked, lol.)

I'm thanking you for just being apart of the audience.

I started PB in a little blue notebook during the summer of 2015. It was originally meant for my eyes only. And a big part of the reason why was that, when I googled things like "Special Ed makes me feel bad," there wouldn't be much of anything coming up. There were Quora forums! A couple of YouTube videos. Articles here and there.

But it wasn't a lot. Not enough to help me out for long. And it only hammered the idea further into my head that I was alone in what I endured. As I got older, grew up, and away from the program and people who took my disabled youth, I constantly felt this urge to talk about it. What SpEd had put me through. What I'd lost. What I'd seen & heard. The things I did and didn't learn. Even though I was never a very open kid, let alone teenager.

I hated that no one was talking about it. And how nobody knew what happened to kids like me behind closed doors. At 13 and 14, almost none of the new friends I made had ever heard a life story like mine. And I've always found that wild: I had a LOT of friends! (Still do!)

So I kept drawing it out. Kept working on the story in notebooks, sketchbooks, my friends' DMs, and anywhere else words could go. Sometimes, my family would catch glimpses of the concept art. Sad sketches of Matthew crying, freaky drafts of Monster, or tense moments between what would become Class 7-C.

And one of my parents would be like, "Why is your art so depressing?" They'd roll their eyes. And they'd add on, "People's parents aren't gonna like it!"

No, I never told them what the story was about. I never even told them it was a children's media (because it kinda isn't! I'd personally put PB as 13+?) These were judgments made with just one glance at computer papers covered in pencil strokes; sketchy and shapey little kids who didn't look like they were having fun.

I knew they were wrong. But the audacity still pissed me off. There aren't many times where it's appropriate to boss somebody else around in how to tell their story, you know? Not only that, but I also worried about not having an audience back then. Sure, all my friends loved my work. But at the time, I was the only one who'd really experienced anything "Special Education" in life. Thus, these were General Ed kids watching it unfold. Able-bodied eyes and (as far as I knew back then) neurotypical minds, watching and learning from whatever I made.

And I liked that. But that wasn't the only group I wanted to be seen by. I wanted disabled people, especially youth in their teens and twenties, to see it. That's my primary audience. And shit like that made me wonder if I'd ever find it. Had me second-guessing myself a little, you know?

But I shook it off. It's like that thing teachers always say in class. "If you're confused or have a question, ask: whatever it is, you probably aren't the only one thinking it!"

And I searched for stuff like PAPERBOY, hadn't I? Yeah. I had. So by that logic, other people definitely would be, too.

So I stuck to my guns, and... check it! Y'all showed up!

One thing I've noticed ever since publishing part 1 is that the PB Nation is pretty damn devoted. You guys have been patient, passionate, silly, and unapologetically yourselves since the get-go. And the response to every old promotional comic or post I've made has been OVERWHELMINGLY positive and curious. I've gotten fucking fanart, man! More than once! I've had the honor of meeting a few of you in person already! And for the ones who haven't caught me out with my friends in New York, believe me, I REMEMBER who comments what.

By the way, you guys should spam my comments more. Fuckin' love that shit. SPEAK TO ME, lmao. Even if it's like, the most irrelevant PB question ever. Keyboard smash in my comment sections. Send me disability reels you like. Tell me what you wanna see from the story. Whatever, as long as it doesn't bleed into parasocial territory!

I've gotta have one of the best audiences out there. So thank you! For just... being around. Here's to hoping y'all enjoy the journey we're aboutta go on.

[ceres-t4xidermy]

Oh yeah, I'm suspecting someone traced my art. Might not be actually traced, but they are too similar to be a coincidence, specially since lots of forms from my own artstyle are present at their's art. That is so great, now I can hate drawing fanart with a reason now! :D I hate this. So much. I don't feel safe posting anything anymore. I've cried a lot today, and I don't feel the urge to be online anymore. Like, the person was a mutual of mine?? Did they think I wouldn't see it? The funniest shit was that they RTed my art prior to posting theirs. And omg this person already had a cute artstyle. What the fuck. What the actual fuck. I don't know if I'm angry or sad, I'm between both of them. I was having a nice day. Why can't I just have a nice day without any issues?? I will never do any Genshin art again. If I do, I'll lock under 30 paywalls. I have my patreon for that. I'm just so tired. I know I say that all the time, but it is how I feel. Tired all the time. People just step on me all the time and then say that it is my fault. I really don't want to fight or confront anyone. Specially since people can be really mean about this. I'm not complaining about the pose, I'm complaining about how similar of my own artstyle, forms and creative freedom I've put on my art it is. But whenever I speak up, people just say that I am the worst person alive so I opted to remove them as a follower and unfollow them. I did not even block them because I don't want to upset mutual friends. But somehow I'm always in the wrong no matter what the fuck I do. I'm taking some days off twitter and doing waitlist commission work alone. I don't know even if I'm able to stream this weekend, I'm just so fucking upset right now.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

I nEvEr GeT aSk GaMe StUfF

✨🦋🌿🎀💝💥💎💌

Geee, alright already! 🤣🤣🤣

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Okay, first things first, I'm pretty satisfied with how all of my fics have been perceived so far, so I can't really complain. 

That being said: Someone who cares is doing significantly less good than Hic sunt dracones, statistics-wise. It is my own emotional support fic and incredibly close to my heart, so I really am delighted about every positive comment I get about it. 

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

Erm, everything? Can I say everything? 🤣

I'm literally a nervous wreck after posting, anxiously hitting F5 and waiting for feedback, mind in a constant loop of self-doubt.

What if my characterization is off?

What if the premise sucks?

What if my readers don't like the direction I'm taking the story? 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! 

🌿how does creating make you feel?

So many things!!! 

For one thing, it scratches the brain itch. I’ve always had to create things, as far back as I remember. When I was a kid, my parents could stick me in a corner with some paper and scissors and crayons and glue and wouldn’t hear from me for hours. 

Even during the 15 years that I didn’t write, I always had to be doing something creative. Knitting, painting, drawing, photographing, you name it. It’s an urge that I need to fulfill and I get crabby if I can’t. 

Seeing the end results makes me feel insanely proud and accomplished. It may not be perfect, but I made that! I sunk my teeth into it and saw it through and made this wonderful thing that I love. 

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

How dare you make me say nice things about myself?! 

Okay … I guess my writing does something to other people that makes them want to create their own stuff. People have repeatedly told me that reading my fics kickstarted their own imagination into creating stories or art of their own. And every time that happens, I get so incredibly happy because that is like a god-tier compliment right there! That somebody found my writing so engaging that it made their brain spin off on a tangent and they created something out of it! 

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Dragons! Dragons dragons dragons dragoooooons!!!! 

The feedback I am getting for this fic just won’t stop blowing my mind, seriously, and every time I think it’s done, you guys hit me in right in the feels again with your gorgeous comments and rec lists mentions and fucking FANART! I am incredibly happy and humbled and awed that people are loving it so much! 

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be Someone like you, which is a little bonus story to Someone who cares. It's a purely self-indulgent little one-shot featuring married Steddie and a baby. This universe is my emotional support AU and I loved visiting the boys again. 💕

💎why is writing important to you?

Wow, where to start? 

Because it's incredibly fun and allows me to completely immerse myself in the story I'm creating. Because I get to be self-indulgent and spoil myself and make the story exactly like I want it to be. 

And because I have met so many amazing, creative, lovely ppl through it over the past few months, who bring me joy and make me smile every single day.

I honestly don't know how I could ever go without it for so long! 

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Okay, so I'm still firmly stuck on the demon!Eddie brainworm and fully planning on turning it into a chaptered fic. I'm still figuring out a lot of the specifics, but I've already got some nice twists and details planned. There'll be demon besties Eddie and Chrissy, a nice side of Buckingham, lots of smutty goodness, Dustin running a mystery YouTube channel and so much more, it will be glorious! 

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

4, 6, 29 💚

(Hi, friend!!!! okay so)

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw?

ARCHITECTURE! 😭😭 or anything that has a similarly purposeful design theory behind it like furniture/interiors/appliances etc.

I've always been an Organics Shapes guy, things in nature don't really have a very specific way they form, meaning you can mess around and it'd still look pretty good, meaning there are fewer ways to fuck it up, meaning it's way easier for me to draw adkjlsdsljk So I stick to natural landscapes and people and animals more often than not.

I admire anyone who's good at drawing them tho! I love buildings and room interiors, would love to actually draw them someday.

- 5. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously?

HM, I don't think "anything and everything" is the best answer lmao. It can be anything, really! Though if I were to be very specific, I'd say the thing that affects my inspiration the most is what I'm feeling in the moment!

If I'm feeling bored or apathetic I won't be drawing. It's easier to put pen to paper when you're pushed by a certain emotion, especially strong emotions. This is essentially why most of the art I draw is ship art, the dopamine hit from these fictional characters is like no other.

(otherwise, anything that Looks A Certain Cool Way on accident, like how deer antlers are sprayed w light reflecting paint so they don't get hit at night, which makes them look like they've got the coolest and most fuckt up halo ever.)

-

6. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically?

oof, to be honest, all the media I love, I love mostly because of its inspiring artistic or conceptual merit.

Oh! But I was only thinking of visual media there. I think books are the one thing that I rarely, if ever, get the urge to draw something for.

The only books I remember ever drawing any fanart for were the Skullduggery Pleasant series whereas one of my fave books, The Girl With All The Gifts, has never inspired any art from me.

Idk if you recall that "how do you see the apple in your head?" chart from a while back but in it, I'd be anywhere from a 3 to a 5. I actually can't visualize things well in my head!

So, unlike in fanfic where I probably already have a reference for how things look and can vaguely imagine a scenario (then draw that scenario), with books I'm often literally left in the dark and don't get that same burst of inspiration to draw.

[sadistic-softie]

Today, I feel like venting cuz I'm fucking going through it rn.

When I was going through puberty and starting to develop sexual urges for the first time and so on, I was punished for experimenting with my body and not told why I was being punished, so I equated it to "pleasuring yourself = bad" but the urges didn't stop. They got worse and worse, and every time I was caught looking at NSFW artworks, reading erotica, writing/drawing etc, I was scolded and yelled at because I was only 12-17, and it just escalated from there, creating a cycle. Guilt, punishment, repression, indulgence, repeat. Now, here I am, having lost friendships because I can't get my head out of the gutter and all I ever think about is sex and kinks and I can never focus on them.

Yes, I KNOW it's not my fault, I haven't done anything wrong etc. and all the little sweet nothings therapists love to tell you. I still hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I feel like a disgusting, filthy, gross freak and I know I won't stop being sexual after this. I'm too pathetic to stop it from happening. I always fail. I always end up enjoying it too. And I can never escape the guilt and disgust. All the things my mother said to me as a child, I deserve now.

Everything she said's stuck in my head forever:

You're disgusting.

You're acting like a creep.

I don't even want to look at you.

I can't believe you're turned on right now. (While yelling at me for reading erotica)

What the fuck is wrong with you. (I had cut myself)

I told you to stop drawing shit like this. (NSFW fanart)

You'd better not fucking tell me that piss turns you on.

You promised you wouldn't pee yourself again. You're a fucking liar.

Do I need to send you to the military for you to stop? (She told recruiters I was interested behind my back and they contacted me)

I'm going to tell everyone about this. (She told a lot of people about an embarrassing, private moment)

You're going to tell your psychologist all about your piss fetish and everything that's been going on. No more fucking excuses. You tell them everything! (I did. The psychologist said it was normal for my age. I felt humiliated)

The worst one is the simplest one. I will never forget when she whipped me with a hand towel mid senence. She had never struck me before that point. I think I was 13 or 14?? It was so unexpected. I was already scared and after that, I didn't know what to do or say. I remember that before it happened, I was already shaking, sweating, crying, and had been being yelled at for some time. Her voice was so rough, painfully loud, threatening. It was just four words but I can never forget.

Don't be 💥Fucking💥 gross