#i always have a strong urge to post any fanart i make even if i absolutely hate it. all human beings are born with the instinct to post

[kittydog]

[unioncolours]

A 2nd Majsasaurus Year!

Today, 22nd of September 2021, it’s been two years since I officially joined the magical world of fandom. 22.9.2019 I uploaded the first chapter to my fic Shadows and Sand, and the rest is history.

I did a deep dive into my first year as a fic writer and active member of fandom last year, when it was my first anniversary. You can read it here!

In that meta discussion about my membership of fandom, I presented it as if walking on clouds. I was so, so happy and talked during all the discussion about my happiness in fandom.

Since that post was written, my life and also my perception of the fandom I am part of has changed. Change isn’t always bad, as I really had a honeymoon phase with fandom over a year ago, and the low after hit hard.

But let’s see what I’ve been up to and what I’ve been writing! The following year provided much change and fun things! Please keep reading 💜⬇

The first fic I wrote since 22.9.2020 was a Sakura x Ino fic. I had for a longer while been interested in writing a woman-loves-woman ship, which I had never done before, and as a wlw-person myself the urge to explore that part led to Promise me this is just a kiss. The pairing itself was chosen on rather random, it had to be two women and I like Ino, so I chose the most popular Ino-wlw ship for this for convenience.

I really liked writing the fic and it was well-received! It was the first time I had written a fic that was entirely centred around exploring feelings and having sex.

After this I jumped directly onto the next idea that had been boiling inside me for a longer while. Up to this point, all I had written, except the wlw-fic, had been set in the Naruto canonverse and I was itching to try to work with a multi-chaptered modern au! The pairing was of course my beloved Shikadai x Inojin.

It was during the creation of this fic I began to struggle. This was a new genre, as this was romance only and all my other works had been action and fantasy based, except the sex fic of course. I was maybe over critical and stressed, which resulted in me having a hard time writing it. But I made it. Was the sky always this beautiful? ended up being 35k long, and in hindsight, I freaking love, love, love how it turned out in the end and what it represented. I am very proud of this fic.

I “upgraded” as a fan by the end of October when I bought myself a digital drawing tablet. I began drawing fanart of Shikadai and Inojin and preferably them two together, haha! I still draw a few days a month and find it extremely fun as a side hobby beside the writing.

We are now in November 2020. By this time, I had completely finished my zine fic, Under the Scorching Sun, which I had written during September and October, for the Shikatema zine I was kindly accepted to. I was proud of what I had created and was eager for the rest of the contributors to wrap up theirs, so we’d have a wonderful zine for sale in 2021. It was lovely to write ShikaTema again. As the zine fic was about to be released in months from when I had at first finished it, I wanted of course to write something fans and friends could immediately take part of on the internet. I had hyped myself up to a state where I wanted to write a third and final story in my series To love and never let go, my epic series about Shikadai and Inojin.

Now, I should maybe have waited another month, but I was worried the readers would give up on me if I didn’t write it right away. In December, I began writing To find hope in the Universe, with my usual speed and love for the art.

What I by then didn’t realise or even recognise was that I was very slowly turning burned out. I ignored all the signs.

In December I wrote simultaneously as Hope in the Universe a fic that was part of the Shikatema server’s Secret Santa event. The fic’s name was The Ghost Stories of our Hearts, and it was ShikaTema, as the event’s name suggests. It was fun to write and despite the final big fic, Hope in the Universe, pressing down on me, I finished The Ghost Stories of our Hearts and was very happy with the result. Sadly, at this point the burnout began taking control over me, and I never managed to reply to the comments.

The 15th of January, I began uploading To find hope in the Universe. It was a lovely experience, even if it was tainted by negative feelings coming from my decreasing happiness and the fact that it didn’t do as well as To dance above the Stars, the second fic in the series. To deal with two very contradiction emotions, loving my work, the characters, how I have painted an entire world around the characters and how I knew some people honestly loved my hard work, and then the negative feelings coming from not feeling good enough and depressed, was a difficult thing to navigate and still is when I think back to that time. It didn’t help that during the process of uploading the fic I went through grief, and I chose distraction as my coping method. I kept writing and working, the only thing I ever knew.

Our pre-order of the Shikatema zine was in full motion by this time and it was a nerve-wracking time! Mostly because of excitement but also worry. I’m super happy for my friends who were part of the zine, with whom I could share all the excitement and nervousness with. The zine ended up making good sales, which made me happy among the uploading of the long fic.

To find hope in the Universe was completed 31st of March 2021. When I uploaded the final chapter, I felt nothing. It was so weird, so spooky, to have finished a long fic and a series on top of that and not feel anything. But deep down, beneath the layer of depression, I felt great pride.

That was the emotion that broke free once the burnout left me. Pride.

I had created this empire of Shikajin, a whole alternative timeline, an alternative canon from my own head and to this day, that is my internet legacy. I love Trial of the Heart, which I wrote in 2020, but if I have to choose between ToH and this series, I will choose To love and never let go in a heartbeat.

So, even if it felt depressing and hopeless in the moment, I look now back with pride and happiness. Never forget that. Never forget that I made that.

April was a curious time. I swore to not write anything, because I had by now recognised that I was burned out and needed to rest, yet managed to scrape together three smaller fics.

The first one was another wlw-smut fic, TemaSaku this time called Another Light. I wanted to explore that part once again. I wrote it in canonverse and honestly think the fic ended up extremely nice. Perfect amount of feels and sex. It didn’t feel hard to write at all, because the setting, characters and emotions were so different from the fics I had written the last five months.

Now more interesting things lay on the horizon! A new zine, the Ino-Shika-Cho zine called Beyond a Bond had an interest check during the spring, and later the contributor application. I urged in the interest check to please give us the next gen kids, Shikadai, Inojin and Chocho – my kids and babies, and when it turned out they were going to feature, I had to apply as a writer. For this application I wrote a one shot, called It’s just hair, and I loved this spunky little story featuring the best babies that I created.

I also edited one of my tumblr fics, And then I kissed him, into a longer, better version that I later in May uploaded onto AO3. It was once again a Shikajin, a sequel of Trial of the Heart, and it was a fun little project.

Now May came and I sent in the application for the zine early, which I now am relieved I did. I am happy that I did the work for the application in April instead of May, because in May I had a few breakdowns and another grieving period, which lead to complete creative paralysis. I didn’t write a single word during May, only uploaded the two one shots I had prepared in April.

What I did do in May was to read through the Shikatema zine I had contributed to! It arrived in the mail! I was so nervous; my whole body was shaking when I opened the package right outside the post office. The zine now resides on the parade place in my little zine shrine in the bookshelf. Thank you to the mods who made this a reality!

To my great happiness my zine adventures continued as I was accepted to the Ino-Shika-Cho zine as a writer and was assigned to write my favourite characters. I felt so relieved and overjoyed, mind blown by the sheer talent among the contributors.

On the other fandom front, June didn’t continue any brighter, with stress and mental pain still having a strong grip around me, despite the very happy news that I am still so grateful for. I wrote a Yamanaka family fic which to this day hasn’t seen the light of AO3, because of negative emotions surrounding it. I turned into a complete wreck compared to me in June 2020. In June 2020 I was flourishing, I loved what I did, I loved fandom and I loved the friends I had made through Discord servers. Now I could find myself crying my eyes out over a wip not going the way I wished it would. What had happened to Bex 2021?

I was so incredibly frustrated with myself, groaning in defeat when my hands just couldn’t write. I managed to push through 6k of what I called my “emo au” – more of that later – and finish the Yamanaka fic which is still buried, and on top of that I had the zine and another fandom event, The Naruto Photo Album, to create content for. Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I find happiness in something that once was my reason for happiness?

In the end, I managed to write 15k in June. My former monthly word count used to be 30k. One could think this would turn into the end of my fic writing career, or the beginning of a longer hiatus, but I am stubborn and want to meet the expectations of the people who love my content, so I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to try. I wanted to be whoever I was before.

Funnily enough, the healing came in the shape of the most self-indulgent fic I have ever, ever written, a fic I like possessed began writing July the 1st 2021. It was nothing less than a freaking fairy tale AU, namely a Shikadai x Inojin Peter Pan AU. I can hear you laugh at the silliness of it, but this whimsical AU gave me back my love for writing. I hyper-fixated on this story quite a bit and stopped writing on everything else, something I almost never do.

Only happy boys fly ended up being 21 000 words long! I knew it was a niched story, and true to my guesses, the story has to this day very low stats. Today, two months after it was published, it has just above 100 hits and 10 kudos, so for all I know, only ten people read and liked it. I try to not care too much, since I love the story and in some way, that story saved me from going batshit insane over my emotions about writing.

At this point I had begun writing my fic from the Ino-Shika-Cho zine, finding joy in silly scenes with my favourite characters and trying to heal. The writing process was frustratingly slow, but one word at a time I got forward and as of today, the draft is done. The pre-orders are in December. At the side of the zine fic I wrote a short fluffy Shikajin story, CLEAR, a story with almost no plot, because I knew how much self-indulgence could help me.

And then, I finally began writing for real on my emo au, A gang of fallen stars, which has the first few chapters up right now! I have for the first time in six months a longer fic (if we don’t count the Peter Pan story) and it feels… good. This fic is once again a modern au, but in darker tones than my other modern au from November 2020. I honestly like what I have so far, even if I during June and July almost planned to never finish it. I am so relieved I managed to begin the upload. In September the Photo Album was released and I could show my two fics I wrote for it.

It sounds like this year has been nothing but misery, and at times it felt like it. However, there are a few fandom friends who brought light to my life when I couldn’t see it. The first ones to mention are of course my partners in crime, @notquitejiraiya and @thespookymoth. Together we created a server dedicated to Ino-Shika-Cho during the spring and it has been tons of fun with the members there! Thank you two for listening to me and for being my friends during 2021.

I also have to mention Soverel, who carefully begun taking contact through comments and likes on my twitter, and later through direct messages, and it has been a fun ride ever since. We’ve had lovely discussions which are very dear to me and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for being you and for drawing so many wonderful artworks you’ve shared with me. Haha, and for making me play Genshin Impact, even though I do it like twice a month!

Another person who has made my days so much brighter is @sugarriene. Thank you for sending me that one dm that made us chat regularly, thank you for popping up and sharing panels and your wonderful drawings with me, and for vibing head canons with me. You are a lovely person, and you make me happy.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to @yoboseyokyu for listening to me when I had to yell into the void and for making me happy with your cute posts on both twitter and tumblr.

Since September 2020, I’ve written around 195 000 words and drawn close to 35 illustrations, most of them of Shikadai and Inojin. Almost 200 000 words of Majsasaurus. I’ve created a Discord server and I’ve been part of two zines as a writer, plus a free PDF-project.

It has been a wild year. A year filled with passion for my favourite characters and ship, with the excitement that came with being part of projects and hyping them. It was a year where I learned to draw digitally, and heck what fun it was.

This also a year where I learned people can be mean to me because of what I ship and that fandom friends won’t necessarily always stay to be your friend anymore and how much it can hurt. I also learned what my limits are, and what punishment I get if I don’t listen to my own mind and rest when I have to.

It was a year, guys.

Now, onto the third Majsasaurus Year. Cheers!

And those of you, who supported me when I needed it – thank you and I love you.

[good-omens-classic]

Hi Good Omens fans, ever since making this blog, and trawling through the archives for old art, I have been thinking again about trends from before the TV-show, and the way people draw Aziraphale and Crowley.  I wanted to make this post addressing it but this is not “discourse” or to start a fight, in fact I would be perfectly content if all I did was make people think critically about what I am about to say and not even interact with this post at all, but I feel like I need to say it.

Talking about any racist undertones to the way people draw our two favorite boys usually makes people dig their heels in pretty fast.  This is not a callout post for any artist in particular, this is not me trying to be overly critical of artists especially since they have more talent and skill than I do, and I’m going to address some common counterpoints that I frankly find unsatisfactory.  Let’s just take a moment to set aside our defensiveness and think objectively about these trends.  It took me a while to unlearn my dismissive attitude about these concerns so maybe I can help others get over that hurdle a little faster.  Now let’s begin.

I’ve been kicking around the Good Omens fandom since maybe 2015 and for art based in book canon, whether it was made before the TV show came out, or because the artist is consciously drawing different, original designs, I’m going to estimate that a decent 75% of all fanart looks like this

Aziraphale is white and blonde and blue-eyed while Crowley is the typical “racially ambiguous” brown skin tone it’s become so popular to draw podcast characters as nowadays.

And the question is why?  With the obvious answer being “it’s racist,” but let’s delve a little deeper than that.

A common thing I hear is that people get appearance headcanons fixed in their mind because the coverart of the book pictures the characters a certain way.  My first point is this only shifts the question to why the illustrators drew them that way, when there aren’t many physical descriptions in the book.  My second point is that while there definitely are cover arts that picture Aziraphale as cherubic, blonde, and white and Crowley as swarthy, dark-skinned, and racially ambiguous...

(side note: why is Crowley’s hand so tiny?  what the hell is going on in this cover?)

It’s much more common for the covers to simplified, stylized, and without any particular unambiguous skin tones

I don’t know about the UK but the most popular version in the United States is the dual black and white matching covers

And while you could make an argument that the shading on Crowley’s face could suggest a darker skintone, it seems obvious to me that lacking any color these are not supposed to suggest any particular race for either of these two, and the contrasting colors are a stylistic choice to emphasize how they are on opposite sides.  If anything, to me it suggests they are both white.

In short I simply do not buy the argument that people are drawing Aziraphale and Crowley this way because that’s how they were represented on the cover art of the book.  If you draw them the way they are on the cover then whatever, I don’t care, but I don’t believe that’s what’s driving this trend.

The second thing people will say is that Good Omens is a work of satire, and it’s based in Christian mythology which has this trend of depicting angels as white, and it is embodying the trope of a “white, cherubic angel” paired with a dark-skinned demon for the explicit purpose of subverting the trope of “white angel is good, dark demon is bad” since Aziraphale is not an unambiguous hero and Crowley is not a villain.  “It’s not actually like that because Crowley isn’t a bad demon, and Aziraphale isn’t actually a perfect angel” is the argument.  This has a certain logic to it and allows some nuance to the topic, but to this I say:

Uncritically reproducing a trope, even in the context of a satire novel, is not enough to subvert it.  Good Omens is not criticising the racist history of the church, and while the book does have some pointed jabs at white British culture (such as Madam Tracy conning gullible Brits with an unbelievably ignorant stereotype of a Native American) it is not being critical of the conception of angels as white and blonde or the literal demonization of non-white people.  That’s just not what the book is about.  So making the angel white and the demon dark-skinned, playing directly into harmful tropes and stereotypes, is not somehow subversive or counter-cultural when doing so doesn’t say anything about anything.

Please consider fully the ramifications of the conception of white and blonde people as innocent and cherubic and dark-skinned people as infernal and mischievous, especially in modern contexts...

Black people are more likely to be viewed as violent, angry, and dangerous.  Priming with a dark-skinned face makes people more likely to mistake a tool for a gun.  Black people are viewed as experiencing pain less intensely by medical professionals.  Black men are viewed as physically larger and more imposing than they actually are.  The subconscious racial bias favoring light skin is so ingrained it’s measurable by objective scientific studies, on top of the anecdotal evidence of things like news stories choosing flattering, “cherubic” pictures of white and blond criminals while using unflattering mugshots for non-white offenders.

This is why I say that if you’re going to invoke the “whites are angelic” trope, you better have a damn good subversion of it to justify it, because this idea causes real harm to real people in the real world.  And Aziraphale being a bit of a bastard despite being an angel, I just don’t see that as sufficient.  I am especially cautious of when it’s my fellow white fans that make this argument, not because I believe they do this out of any sort of malice or hatred of people with dark skin, but because I know first-hand it stems from a dismissiveness rooted in not wanting to think about it for too long because it makes us uncomfortable.  Non-white people do not have the luxury of not thinking about it, because it’s part of their life.

Now the strongest textual evidence people use, in the absence of much real descriptor, is this:

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort" 

This piece of art has circulated in the fandom for so long I don’t know the original artist and it’s been used for everything from fancovers to perfume.  This is where I found it and it’s one of the first things that come up when you google this quote about Aziraphale.  

Doesn’t it just feel like this is the man that’s describing, some blonde effeminate gay man?  Well guess what, there’s the “blonde as innocence” trope rearing its ugly head again, because the stereotype of gay men and effeminacy as being a white and blonde thing is--ding ding ding you guessed it--racism.  And why would intelligent suggest a white and blonde person, except if the stereotype of a dark-skinned person is less intelligent?

Now the point of “people assume Aziraphale is British” is another sticking point people will often use, claiming that the stereotype of a British person is white and blonde.  I guess this has some merit, since the British empire was one of the biggest forces behind white colonial expansion, and it seems disingenuous to assign “British” as “nonwhite” as soon as we’re being satirical, in the same way I found it distasteful that the TV show made God female when so many of the criticisms of the church are about its misogyny and lose their teeth as soon as God is no longer male.

However consider that 1.4 million Indian people live in the UK.  I heard a man say aloud once that the concept of a black person having a British accent was a little funny, as though Doctor Who doesn’t exist and have black people on it.  And I’m not overly familiar with the social landscape of the UK, but I understand they’re experiencing a xenophobia boom and non-white Brits aren’t considered “really British.”  The stereotype of non-white people not being British only exists because of reinforcement in media.  If you really want to be subversive, drawing Aziraphale as Indian goes way further than drawing him as white IMO.

Now let’s talk about Crowley.  He is almost always drawn with a darker skin tone than Aziraphale, even when they are both white, and while I’ve outlined above how this is problematic on terms of linking light skin with innocence, I think it does have an extra layer.  I think it also has to do with the exotification and fetishization of brown skin and non-white people.

This artist’s tumblr is gone now but their art is still on dA and while it’s definitely beautiful and well-done, I think this is a very good example of what I’m talking about.

Crowley and Aziraphale necessarily contrast each other, so describing Aziraphale as “British” might suggest that Crowley is “foreign-looking.”  I also know *ahem* that the fandom generally thirsts over Crowley to hell and back, so making him a swarthy, tall dark and handsome is not necessarily surprising.

An interesting thing happened when the TV show came out, and everyone started drawing Michael Sheen!Aziraphale and David Tennant!Crowley more and more often:  It’s not ubiquitous, but it does happen that sometimes artists will draw David Tennant’s skin darker than it actually is.  The subconscious urge to see Crowley with dark skin is for some reason that strong for many people.  And I really encourage people doing this to think about why.  Not naming any names but I’ve working with fanartists before for collabs who I had to ask to lighten “bad guy” demon’s skin tones because it looked like they were making the skin darker on purpose to make them look scarier.  This person is a perfectly pleasant person who tries not to be racist!  And we both still fell into it accidentally, and it took me a while to notice and point it out, because the ingrained stigmatization of darker skin is pervasive yet often goes unnoticed.

What is the solution?  I don’t know, and as a white person I’m not really qualified to make that call.  Do we draw them both with the exact same skin tone?  Is it better to make them both white?  Should we make both of them non-white?  Should we only make Aziraphale non-white?  I am consciously aware of the fact that the Good Omens fandom is mostly white people, so most of the art we make is being both made by and consumed by white people, so I don’t feel comfortable saying “draw these characters of color specifically” because that can also veer into fetishization territory very quickly.  This is not specific to good omens but I think we should pay attention to what fans of color say in all fandom spaces and weigh our choices even if they seem insignificant.  And it’s important to realize that fans of color will not be a monolith in their opinion either, and it’s our responsibility to recognize that everyone can be affected by racism and social issues differently, the same way all women are affected by misogyny differently so just because one woman says such as such is misogynistic and another says it’s not.  I’m sure there are non-white fans who think it’s perfectly fine to draw Aziraphale as white and Crowley as ambiguously non-white.  I’m not saying they’re wrong.  And I’m not saying you can’t reblog this kind of art, or that people who make or made it should feel bad about themselves.  But so often this sort of thing goes unaddressed just because people don’t like thinking about it, and well, avoiding hard questions never really goes well I think.

[ograndebatata]

Gift Memories and Floating Leaves - Extended Edition

Note: I first wrote this fic as a Secret Santa gift last Christmas, which you can view here. However, I have recently decided to revamp it slightly to include an element present in a fanart which she commissioned for her fic universe, and because I ended up doing a few minor typo and goof corrections as well, I decided this merited an independent post.

For those who already read the original version, I hope you also enjoy this new one. For those who are first reading this version, I advise you to stick with this one, but you’re free to check the older one if you would like. 

This fic is written as taking place in @lostbutterflyutau‘s Mirror World AU, and being familiar with it will help to understand much of what goes on here. But for whose who are unfamiliar with it, I will be including a few basic notes below to provide some context. 

Basically, this AU takes the show’s timeline as canon until Song of the Sirenas, at which point it diverges from the show, besides a few isolated elements.

A few key differences are that in this AU, Carla’s mother died when she was born, and Carla herself, after coming to see the error of her ways earlier than she did in canon, attended a school named Walter Mickey School for some time in a place caleld the Mirror World, where she grew as a person and saved the school and potentially more places several times. She also became one of the Princesses of Harmony, a group of magical girls, each with different powers of their own, Carla’s being that of reading minds.

In this AU, eventually Carla and Gabe fell in love, and started a happy relationship, and... well, I can’t say more without spoiling a key element in this fic.

But for anyone interested in a fuller context of this story, I very strongly recommend both her post with more information about the Mirror World AU (which can be found here) and her great fanfic When The Music Changes, which can found here (if you prefer FF.NET) or here (if you prefer AO3).

I hope you enjoy them both, and that you also enjoy this fic, whether you read the original version or are reading this one first.

_____

Gift Memories and Floating Leaves

At the Royal Palace of Avalor, on Noche Buena…

Standing on the balcony of the palace’s ballroom, her light blue wrap draped over her shoulders, the young brown-haired woman contemplated the twinkling lights of the massive árbol navideño that had been set up in the palace’s courtyard, as well as the smaller and more distant ones of the many decorations put up throughout the city, and the twinkling stars that glittered on the above sky.

It was a lovely view, matched only by the one she knew her violet eyes would meet if she turned around and peered through the ballroom windows. Behind them, people would either be standing in groups or twirling through the dance floor, the spirit of joy and love inherent to the season palpable in the air and visible in everyone, even those who for most of the year weren’t exactly the most agreeable people to be around.

Put together, both pictures combined in such a way that Carla couldn’t help but find surreal, as if Avalor had temporarily lifted itself out of the EverRealm and into another world.

It might seem like a weird figure of speech for someone who had literally lived in another world, but her strong points were dancing and magic, not poetry, and she felt it fit.

A brief breeze blew over her, rustling the glitter-studded dark blue of her ballgown and fluttering her loose hair and running over her skin like a warm soothing hand. Though Carla knew through Elena that ghosts only celebrated with the living on Dia de los Muertos, for a moment, it almost seemed like her mother was beside her this very moment, silently telling her that she got the metaphor, and she didn’t need to be so aggressive, especially with herself.

The thought warming her heart, she closed her eyes and took in a long, deep breath, releasing it in a drawn out, comforted exhale.

As a child, she never would have imagined she would end up spending Navidad like this.

Back then, it had always been pretty much the same thing, one year after another. She and her father would find some place to settle for the season, her father went all out with cooking (the only time of the year at which it was consistently made of purchased ingredients) bought her gifts that she now knew he had sometimes been hard-pressed to afford, and the two of them caroled together.

All things considered, besides the ‘extra mile’ her father went to, Navidad hadn’t been all that different from ordinary days. Her father always went as far as she could with cooking, gave her all the gifts he could afford without impacting their savings, and always tried his best to help her to not feel alone despite the fact that the only company they had was each other. The only real difference between that time of the year and all others was that, unlike all other ceremonies, which her father saw as opportunities to ‘raise their funds’, Navidad was the one where he insisted that people were to be left alone.

But now? Now she actually had a home she could call her own, an actual celebration to attend, and true friends to celebrate it with. And she even still had her father. Granted, he was back in the ballroom rather than outside with her, but that was a small distance, especially compared to certain previous years, which the two of them hadn’t even been able to spend together.

Having him with her was already something to be thankful for.

Her wrap slipped slightly. Carla adjusted it around her shoulders, looking down to make sure she hadn’t creased it.

As she did, her eyes met the silver band on her left hand, the purple gemstone twinkling like a firefly.  

A different kind of warmth filled her at the view.

By itself, it was already a beautiful jewel, but the meaning behind it, joined by the two sets of initials - one on each side of the gemstone - reminded her of something else she had for this Navidad.

Yet another thing to be thankful for.

“There you are.”

Carla’s heart gave a slight leap as she flew from her thoughts. Then, a smile spreading across her features, she turned around to the one she knew had spoken, her violet eyes meeting the familiar profile walking toward her underneath the gazebo.

The next moment, he stepped out of the shadows, giving her a full view of him in his dress uniform, and another view she found even better - that of his warm smile and twinkling eyes as he saw her.

“There you are,” she deliberately echoed, her happy smile turning into a teasing one.

Her chuckled fondly at her retort as he strolled up to her, the sword at his waist swishing to and fro with his steps.

As he rested his left arm over her shoulders and she curled her right one around his lower back, she asked, her voice more serious, “Is everything alright?”

She thought she had managed to keep her voice calm, but she couldn’t hold back the faint concern flickering up within her as she remembered Gabe’s departure from the dance. Today should be his night off, and the fact he was in dress uniform rather than his everyday guard outfit only reinforced that. But as she knew after years of being with him, it could be difficult for the Captain of the Guard to fully have time off. And just their luck, it seemed he had been needed during the Navidad festival.

“It is,” he replied, rubbing her shoulder soothingly through the wrap. “Just a few of the newer guards who weren’t certain of where exactly they should go on their rounds.”

Though a tiny part of her couldn’t help but think that that reason hadn’t been good enough to request Gabe’s presence specifically, the rest of her sighed in relief. At least it wasn’t about any villain having been spotted in the premises or some monster unleashed from a jar or some escaped criminal. Were it any of those, she could only guess their party would end faster than Cinderella’s. Festivals tended to be a magnet for scumbags of all sorts, and despite all the security measures that were put in place, there could be a few who were wily or lucky enough to get past them and wreak havoc.

She should know. She had helped to wreak havoc at similar events in her old days.

Don’t think about that now. She told herself, forcing down the lingering shame brought by the memories of her past life. Those days are gone.

Yes. They were. And she’d never want to go back to them. Not after learning how wrong they were.

“Well, I guess it’s nice that they feel comfortable enough with their Captain to ask directly for him,” she at last said, hoping she hadn’t spent too much time silent. “Even if they could have picked a better time to do it.”

She felt Gabe nodding against her.

“Yes. On both accounts.”

A moment of silence went by, the two of them basking in the comfort of being together. Then, she felt him shifting against her, his stance suddenly more rigid.

“And here?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”

She turned up to face him, meeting the liquid warmth of his chocolate brown eyes.

“It is,” she said. “Just a few… unwanted thoughts.”

His stance turned the slightest bit more rigid. “Is that why you’re out here?” A hint of alarm flashed across his face. “Did anyone…”

He let the sentence trail off, but Carla could read the rest of it just fine. Smiling up at him, she rested her free hand on the one he had over her left shoulder.

“No,” she said. “Nothing like that. I’m only out here because I was hot.”

His stance loosened at her words, but then, his eyes narrowed pensively, as if he was wondering whether he should say something he had in mind or not. Carla held back the urge to curl her eyebrow inquisitively.

“You used the wrong tense,” he at last added. Then, with a mischievous smirk, he added,  “You are hot.”

Her lips shifted into a smirk of her own even as joy bubbled up within her. He really was getting a bit too good at teasing her.

“So are you,” she replied, running her hand over the front of his jacket.

And she meant it. As much as it was part of her own teasing, seeing him in full dress uniform was a treat for her eyes.

An even better one than the usual view of him, at any rate.

The slim fit of his black trousers and dark blue jacket outlined his profile in a way that she could only describe as wonderful, the jacket's color going perfectly with the golden buttons that lined its front. Golden cuffs with matching cufflinks and two burgundy stripes running through their middle added what could only be described as a formal layer, which was only reinforced by the red collar with a golden top and laurel leaves of the same colour circling it. For a further element of fanciness, golden epaulettes with burgundy straps were fastened to the jacket's shoulders, and a length of golden thread that went from the jacket's shoulder to its neck dangled over the right side of the lapel. Adding a final touch of both color and fanciness, a creamy belt tied with a white band running along its middle circled Gabe's waist, securing a sword to it. And the five medals he had earned for his services to Avalor over the years, pinned to the jacket’s front by red ribbons, made up what could only be called the final missing elements whose previous absence was only noticed after they were already present.

For many people, it made for a very eye-pleasing picture. For Carla, it did the same, but it added a much more wonderful element. Namely, that of the happy memories of the the last time he'd worn it - on their wedding day three months prior. The day that had arguably been the happiest in their lives thus far.

As if reading her thoughts - which Carla knew that he, unlike her couldn’t do literally - Gabe smiled at her and drew her further into him, his lack of actual mind-reading powers never a barrier to knowing what she was thinking, not with how well he knew her. Taking care not to snag her wrap on his medals or buttons, Carla rested her head on his chest - careful so she wouldn’t poke his chin with her tiara - and listened to the comforting steady beat of his heart.

And for some amount of time neither of them cared about tracking, they simply stood as they were, the same warm breeze from before flowing over them as they contemplated the twinkling lights of the árbol navideño and the city, no words necessary between them.

It somehow seemed even more surreal than the sheer beauty of the picture all around her. And yet, she had no problem believing it was real.

Not when she could feel it so intensely, seeping into every fiber of her being and spreading through all of her to the farthest depths of her soul.

Another sigh flew out of her, this one dreamy. Gabe brought his free hand up and tucked one of her chocolate brown strands behind her ear, the hand he rested on her shoulder shifting ever so slightly, enough so as to let her feel the metal band resting around his ring finger.

A soft smile returned to her face.

They hadn’t openly talked much about it, but she knew from things he had said and done over the previous days, as well as from his own responses to some of her actions, that he was aware this Navidad would be yet another special Navidad for them.

“Soon,” she whispered to herself.

The next instant, Gabe shifted underneath her arm and head, and over her shoulders. Though she could tell without moving that he was turning an inquisitive eye down at her, she removed her head from his chest and looked up at him.

“I was just thinking out loud. And I meant how soon it will be yet another first Navidad for us.” Her lips curled in a mix of teasing smirk and fond smile. “Husband.”

Clarity lit up his eyes.

“I know,” he said. “And I can’t wait to celebrate it.” His look a mirror of hers, he added, “Wife.”

After a brief search for a reply, she instead ran a hand along his jawline, her smile still in place. As much as she liked to be a tease, this time somehow didn’t seem to be the right one to let that streak of hers unfold too far.

“And I can believe it,” he went on. “Even if I wouldn’t have in our early days.”

That was something else she got. After all, she had felt exactly the same way back in the days when she refused to even admit her own feelings for him, much less to do something about them.

And perhaps because of the season, one of those sprang to the front of her mind.

Despite herself, she briefly unleashed her urge to tease him.

“You mean like in a certain Navidad-related early day?”

Again, he didn’t give her a verbal reply. But his ever so slight nod, coupled with his fond chuckle and the spark in his eyes, told her that he understood what she meant, and was remembering the exact same moment right now.

///

Four years before, a few nights before Navidad, by one of the Avalor Palace’s living rooms…

Her heart pounding as she stood before the closed door, Carla aimed her tamborita straight at the lock, her senses alert to any kind of suspicious noise, and her being so jittery from the position she found herself in that she swore she’d jump out of her skin if a drop of water landed on her.

Thankfully it wasn’t raining, and the palace didn’t have leaks on the ceiling, but that didn’t make her feel any better. After all, being out in the palace in the dead of night seemed weird to say the least. Even if she excused herself saying that she couldn’t sleep - which sounded superficially plausible given she was in her pyjamas and a robe - coming all the way to this place during an insomnia would sound at least odd.

Of course, the suspicious air to her location was the whole reason she should stay here for as little as possible. The faster she was, the less chances she would be seen, she had told herself more than once as she kept staring at the door, as if her mere gaze could magically make everything end up where it should be and send her back to bed, safe from any suspicions.

Just get on with it! She told herself, mentally pushing all the determination she could summon through her being.

It was a sentence she had repeated more than once over the last five minutes or so. But somehow, this time it spurred her into action. Maybe something about her tune had been different this time. Or maybe she just needed to say it more than once to build up her determination. One or the other, it was meaningless. At least she could muster her will now.

“Nitla abrax conzaporti!” she whispered as she brought her hand down on the tamborita’s drum, trying to tap it in the slightest way she could while also doing so hard enough to cast the intended spell.

Violet pulses flew from the drum and toward the door lock, which then slid to the side with a low click. Then the panel itself slid open, more silent than a sheet of paper falling.

Armando really is a good chief of the castle, ensuring the door hinges stay so well oiled. She couldn’t help but quip in her mind.

Then, she scowled at herself. There was no time to joke when she was in such a compromising position.

At least it seemed that practicing this spell in secret had paid off. But there were still a hundred ways things could go wrong before she was done. And again, the longer she stayed up the more risks she took.

Finding it easier to return to her focus this, Carla aimed her tamborita to her right, at the sack that rested beside her.

“Llévaluq!” she said as she smacked the tamborita again. A purple glow bloomed around the sack, which silently floated off the ground and into the open doorway.

Twiddling her fingers, Carla directed the bulk through the room until it landed on its intended spot, the plush carpet muffling the noise.

Sighing in relief, Carla tiptoed into the room, hissing and grimacing as her bare feet briefly made contact with a few patches of uncarpeted floor. This was why she typically made sure to wear slippers. But wearing them now would make her steps noisier, so she had forgone them to reduce the potential giveaways.

A few seconds later, she pushed the door closed, but held it back just before it clicked shut. If the door fully closed, it would make noise, and bring about yet another potential giveaway. At least like this, as long as no one passed directly by the door and didn’t decide to give it a close check, there would be nothing suspicious.

For safety’s sake, she pressed an ear to the door, listening out for any suspicious sounds, like muffled footsteps on the carpet, the rustle of fabric as a guard walked, or even a guard’s breathing.

None came.

A breath forcing its way out of her lungs like clay, Carla straightened herself and headed into the room, half-lit by both the outside light that filtered in through the windows and the twinkling yellow and purple lights that decorated the huge pine tree resting close to the unlit fireplace.

Despite her nervousness, a smile blossomed on her face as she got closer.

There in the dark, with its lights now largely unhindered, rested what Carla thought was the most beautiful and most special árbol navideño she had ever seen.

True, she had seen others that could be described as bigger, or more opulent, or technically better in their decoration. But none could even come close to this one. The first true árbol navideño she had helped to set up since she decided to turn her life around, the first one where she’d truly had the fun of decorating in years.

Her smile only grew bigger as she remembered the various times she had spent working on it, whether it was picking out decorations with Elena and Isabel, or hanging them on the tree with Naomi and Esteban, or casting that spell Mateo had found to add twinkling firefly-like lights to the tree.

Even now, she could stare at it for hours, lost in the memories of the happiness that came with being part of something so special.

You don’t have hours! Her common sense shouted at her. Hurry up!

The warning making her spring back into focus, Carla hastened her step toward the árbol navideño, kneeling down beside her sack, which she had laid by the many gifts that had been placed under the tree. A relieved look spread across her face. No new gifts had been added since the last time she checked, and the current ones still looked indistinguishable enough from each other that there was no way to tell who had gotten each gift.

Her choice still held up.

A slightly easier breath flowing out of her, Carla unlaced her sack, looking into it as she plotted out her next course of action.

“What are you doing?”

A shout flew from her throat, her heart almost shooting out of her mouth as she jumped so high she swore her head nearly smashed into the ceiling. Her sack flapped as she rustled by it, her crash after she landed so noisy that it was a miracle she hadn’t woken half the palace.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” she yelped even as she whirled toward the sound, raising both her free hand and the one that still held her tamborita, her heart leaping like a demented monkey.

For a moment, she almost expected to see three or four guards raising their crossbows at her, their looks as stern as that of Elena when she had kicked her and her father out of Avalor on Carnaval.

Instead, only one guard stood there, and the only thing he had raised was his hands, even though he had a sword he could be drawing at her.

Even in the dim light, his startled and apologetic look was visible to her. And so was his identity.

“G-G-Gabe?” she managed to stammer, her heart still slamming all over her chest, but somehow an edge calmer at the sight of him. “W-w-what are you doing here?”

Of course, it was purely a rhetorical question. She could already paint the whole picture in her mind. Either he had been suspicious at the half-closed door or a faint breeze had somehow opened it before he passed by, all without her noticing. Then he had looked in, seen her kneeling by the tree and started thinking things. Probably bad things, given who she was and the fact she had her tamborita and a sack with her.

Strangely, his apologetic face shifted into a playful one.

“I asked first,” he quipped, somehow managing to sound endearing rather than silly or annoying, perhaps because of the wink he joined to his words.

Though her heartbeat was still frantic, she managed to muster a smirk.

“And I’m a lady,” she returned. “Don’t the rules of etiquette say it’s ‘ladies first’?”

The moment her sentence was done, she barely held back both a scowl and a wince, mentally kicking herself.

Where did that come from? Her inner voice shouted. Why on the EverRealm had her teasing nature decided to come out just at this very moment?

Fortunately, despite how it must have sounded, Gabe only nodded.

“Good point,” he acknowledged, the hint of a grin on his face telling her that he got her joke and was rolling with it, but at the same time something in his eyes conveying that he was also truly trying to respect her wishes.

Then, nervousness ghosting across his features, he stood straighter and then started speaking in a more official voice, not all that different from the one she heard him use with Elena when he was on duty.

“I was doing my rounds, and I saw this door was open, and saw you were here, and…” his voice faded, his arms twitching as if he was trying not to press them alongside his body or put them behind his back. “I have to confess I got confused.”

Fear flashing across his face the moment he finished his sentence, he raised his hands again and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re grown past your thieving days, but…”

Again, he fell silent. Carla waited for him to find his voice again, but while she could see from the unnatural stillness of his eyes that he was trying to find the right words, he didn’t make any more sounds.

And the silence dragged on, so thick Carla about expected to be able to hear the steps of the other guards as they did their rounds throughout the palace, or the crickets chirping outside.

“But?...” she eventually echoed, gesturing in circles with her free hand as if winding a crank.

His features and profile loosening a fraction, he added, “But my curiosity was strong enough that I just had to ask what you were doing.” After a moment’s pause, he added. “For some reason.”

He looked apologetic again, which Carla couldn’t help but appreciate.

But then again, there was nothing to appreciate to begin with. It was a good question after all. There should be no good reason for her to be kneeling by an árbol navideño with a sack in the middle of the night. And while she could tell from his voice and face that he really didn’t believe she was trying to steal anything, she could also tell that he was puzzled as to what she could be doing.

Before she could say anything, he shook his head with an annoyed scowl, the emptiness in his gaze telling her the expression was directed at himself.

“You know what? Forget it. I should have just left you alone. Like I said, I know you’re not here to steal anything.” He gave her a polite half-bow. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

He started turning around to leave, his gaze no longer focused on her.

Before she could stop herself, her arm shot up like an arrow, a single word flying out of her lips.

“Wait!”

Then, as the word finished, she mentally kicked herself again. But it was too late. Gabe had already turned around. Though his gaze was nothing but gentle and encouraging, Carla still felt as embarrassed as if she had actually been caught committing a crime.

But for a reason she couldn’t quite explain, she felt he deserved an actual explanation rather than to mull the matter over in his head and perhaps literally lose sleep as he tried to find the answer to his question.

His gaze remained as calm as before, but still, nervousness built up within her.

At last, she managed to whisper, “Promise you won’t laugh?”

She winced the moment the question was done, as if her body had already decided there would be a bout of laughter from it alone. But instead, his gaze looking even gentler and more encouraging, Gabe nodded.

“I promise.”

There was nothing forceful or demanding in the words or the way he said it, but her nervousness scarcely faded. After all, she was about to say something that would be weird at best. And yet, for some reason, as afraid as she was of what he could think, she wanted to tell him.

Fiddling with her bracelet as well as she could while she was still holding her tamborita, she tried to muster the nerve to speak up.

Then, she explained, “I’m dropping off my gifts for everyone.”

For a moment, his expression remained just the same. Then, ever so slowly, his left eyebrow started to curl, the hints of puzzlement all too visible in his widening eyes.

“And you need to do that in the dead of night?” he asked, the same puzzlement trickling through his voice.

“Yes,” she replied, trying her best not to look down in embarrassment.

He didn’t say anything, but she could read the next question on his features plain as day, even without using her powers.

Despite her nervousness, she managed to get out, “It’s just… I never had to get gifts for anyone other than Papá. And…” she paused, the incoming words seemingly so hard to utter that she needed time to gather strength to do so. “... well, in case they don’t like my gifts, I don’t want anyone to know they’re from me.”

Understanding dawned on his face. Again, Carla braced herself for laughter or some kind of reproaching comment. Now that he knew the reason, he was bound to find it silly.

But yet again, he didn’t laugh. More than that, he didn’t even seem like he was trying to hold back laughter. His gaze remained just as understanding as before.

“You didn’t need to have done that,” he soothed. “I’m sure they’ll appreciate the effort one way or the other. Whatever your gifts are, they will mean that you thought of them and took the time to get them something, because you like them.”

Despite the comment, Carla felt her whole being loosening. The calm and comforting way in which he’d spoken to her, rather than the mocking or derisive tone she had been so afraid to hear from anyone who might have caught her, made those words much better. At least as good as they could be when he was still telling her she didn’t need to go to such lengths.

She did suppose he was right, although she wouldn’t know for sure. Like she had told Gabe, she had never needed to get gifts for anyone other than her father, and even he hadn’t gotten all that many gifts from her, because she had only started being able to get away from him to buy them herself once she was fourteen, and even then she’d had her spots of trouble. Yes, her father had always liked the gifts she got him, and she had no reason to think her new friends and her found familia would be any different, but all the same...  

“I still think it’s better like this,” she managed.

Already, she gathered herself for further words of disagreement from Gabe, sure that he would keep insisting on the matter until she agreed that his point of view was the right one. But instead, he simply nodded again.

“I respect that,” he replied.

And though that sentence could easily be said out of mere formality, she could tell that he meant it.

“Can you please turn around then?” she requested. “I really would rather no one saw where I put anything.”

He gave her another polite half-bow. “I promise I won’t look.”

Then, without any further prompting, he turned around, suddenly rigid as if standing attention, though he was facing the door rather than any person. An invisible weight lifting from her, Carla again knelt by the tree and took her hand to the sack. All things considered, things had gone far better than she had hoped. While she had been caught, Gabe had believed her innocence and given her a chance to explain herself. And now that he was here, she’d be able to finish her job without without being seen by anyone.

Or maybe not. She realized, invaded by a sudden fear.

After all, Gabe was still here. What if…

Don’t be like that! She told herself. This is Gabe! When he gives his word, he keeps it! You know that by now!

Yes. That was something she had always known about him. It was true that many guys liked to pass them off as gentlemen when they were even worse than the scumbags she had met on the road, but Gabe was one of those who if anything was even better than what he proclaimed to be. If he had told her he would turn around, she had no reason to not believe it.

But maybe she should just make sure. And she could do it. After all, she knew a spell that could turn her tamborita’s surface into a mirror. And it was one of those that Mateo called a ‘hitless spell’, so she wouldn’t draw Gabe’s attention by smacking the drum. She only had to whisper the word and she would have a makeshift mirror on her hand, and would be able to see whether Gabe was holding up his promise.

No. She told herself. 

He had trusted her. The least she could do was now trust him in return.

All the same, it really might be better to simply be sure.

It’s Gabe! She insisted. If he told you he wouldn’t look, then he won’t look!

Then again, he might not just be able to help his curiosity. It had happened when he saw her in the room. There was no way to say it wouldn’t happen now.

Before he didn’t know what was going on! She insisted. Now he does! And he promised!

Yes, he had. And he never broke a promise. That was something Carla knew about him from the days she had been Rita. And, she realized now, it might have been one of the reasons she had never been able to bring herself to manipulate him. Granted, that should only make him an easy target by all means, but somehow, even for her self from back then, there had been something about Gabe that had prevented her from branding him as a target.

But still, maybe just…

I SAID NO! Her mind’s voice shouted.

Then, before she could change her mind, she finally seized one of the gifts from inside the sack, and placed it by the tree, at a spot where its wrapping wouldn’t stand out too much between the surrounding gifts.

Satisfied with her job, she repeated the procedure a second time. Then a third, and a fourth, and so on, until she had placed a total of eight gifts under the tree, each of them carefully placed at inconspicuous spots, inside wrapping paper that didn’t stand out, and with the name of the person they were for written in a disguised spelling so that they wouldn’t know it was from her.

Wiping a forearm over her forehead, she sighed in relief and grabbed her now empty sack in her right hand and her tamborita in her left one.

“You can turn around now,” she told Gabe.

So he did.

Then, to her surprise, he surveyed the gifts under the tree with the same probing gaze she saw him using during guard inspections.

Unlike those, it lasted only a few seconds before he looked at her.

“You did a good job,” he complimented, again somehow sounding both teasing and genuine. “I can’t tell which of these gifts were put there by you.”

She tried her best to shrug nonchalantly, her cheeks crinkling in a sheepish look.

“Well, I got one for everyone,” she said. “Even Esteban. I’m hoping no one feels left out.”

Puzzlement briefly flashed across Gabe’s face when she said ‘even Esteban’, but it lasted all of a moment. Then, for some strange reason, he started inching toward her, but stopped almost as soon as he started and straightened himself again. If Carla didn’t know any better, she would swear he had been about to move closer and comfort her, like she saw him doing a few times to Elena or Naomi, or even to Mateo once.

And despite her childhood mantra of keeping just about everyone at arm’s length, she couldn’t help but be a bit sorry that he hadn’t done so, even as she was above all touched that he had respected her personal space when he didn’t know if he was welcome inside it.

“Like I said, I’m sure they will appreciate the effort.” He smiled. “I know I would.”

She returned the smile even as she felt her blood rushing to her cheeks. She hoped so, almost as much as she hoped that it was dark enough for him not to see her blazing red face. After all, one of those gifts was for him. Which didn’t mean anything special, and wasn’t meant to - Elena and her family had each gotten a gift from her, as well as Naomi and Mateo. Of course Gabe would be included as well. Her getting him a gift didn’t have to mean anything.

Even if she had to admit she spent more time trying to find a good gift for him than for many other people. And that she, for some reason, was more worried about him not liking her choice than she was about other people feeling that way.

“Thanks,” she settled on.

“Anytime.”

Again, there was a moment of silence, after which he spoke up.

“Do you want me to escort you to your room?”

At first, she could only give him a dumbfounded look. Then, as if she was having a delayed reaction, a cartload of sleepiness crashed on her being as if the ceiling had come down on her. Before she could do anything to fight it back, a massive yawn forced its way out of her and into her right hand as she put it before her mouth for the sake of propriety, part of her unable to hold back the thought that she must look ridiculous by holding the empty sack in front of her as she yawned.

“Why not?” she replied after her yawn was finally out.

Saying so, she walked up to him, the two of them making their way to the door.

The fog in her mind suddenly thickened, despite her yawn to clear sleepiness out, almost making her sway on her feet. At the last moment, she managed to keep herself in check and hold a standing position.

And then her eyes widened in alarm as she saw what hung above the doorway.

“Wait!” she called, all drowsiness gone from her voice.

He snapped to a halt the moment he heard her.

“What?” he replied, alarm bursting on his features.

Her mouth opened and closed as she ransacked her mind for something to say in response. But despite her best efforts, nothing seemed capable of coming out.

She knew the real reason she had stopped, but she couldn’t tell it to him. If she told him that, he’d really think she was an idiot for sure.

But she had to say something before he started to get suspicious. Assuming he wasn’t already.

BUT WHAT DO I TELL HIM? She shouted at herself.

As if on cue, her eyes found the árbol navideño and the gifts underneath it. She seized it - that gave her a solution.

“On second thought, I think I’ll just check one more time, to really make absolutely sure my gifts are properly disguised,” she said. “Can you wait outside?”

This time, Gabe pursed his lips a few times, as if he was briefly struggling with whether or not to make a comment. But like on her request to turn around, he replied, “Of course.”

Carla waited with bated breath as he walked toward the door. For the briefest of instants, she thought she saw him freezing, as if he had also looked up and spotted what she did, perhaps even worked out her true reason to stay in the room. But before she could be sure of it, he kept moving and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Only when it clicked shut did she let out a sigh of relief.

That door had mistletoe hanging over it. And she knew what mistletoe meant. Couples who found themselves under it had to kiss.

So if she and Gabe had walked out of that door together, they would have had to do just that. And there was no way she would do it.

Would it really be so bad? A voice that seemed both annoying and patient asked.

Yes. It would. And not because it was Gabe. In fact, he had to be top of the list of guys she would mind the least about kissing if she found herself under the mistletoe.

Wait. Where did that thought come from?

It didn’t matter. Even if he was on top of that list, she would still mind about kissing him.

It would be her first kiss after all.

No one in Avalor knew that, and even most people who knew her in the Mirror World didn’t know so either, but it was the truth. Though she was eighteen, she had yet to have her first kiss. And while even less people knew that, she wanted her first kiss to truly be special. Weird as it may sound coming from someone with her background, she wanted it to be the kind of unique and dreamy kiss that was discussed in romance novels, the kind where only she and her partner seemed to exist in the whole world, where both of them were lost in each other and their feelings.

Yes, she still didn’t know if she would be able to have that, and she hadn’t yet found the right guy to share it with, but at least she had dodged giving her first kiss away.

Which meant that she still could be able to save it for a special occasion.

She only hoped that someday, she would have it.

///

Present day...

It had been years since, but Gabe remembered that day like it had been yesterday. His puzzlement and curiosity at seeing her kneeling by the árbol navideño with a sack beside her. His inability to hold back his question. Her alarm at his intrusion. His attempts to reassure her, joined by his fear that he was only making her feeling worse. Her own fear that people wouldn’t like the gifts she had picked out for them. And her relief at the fact he hadn’t laughed at her and had respected her wishes for him not to see what she was doing.

In a sense, it had been pointless. Everyone Carla had gotten a gift for had worked out that it came from her, and had taken the time to give her a hug and thank her for it. Of course, that included him, and he had been sincere in his gratitude for the sword care kit she had gotten him. Even today, he still had the box it came in, although the cloth had gotten too stained to use and the products had long since run out.

True, his thanks had come out a bit on the awkward side. Which even then he knew was to be expected, given that they had opened their gifts the day after that year’s Navidad festival, where he and Carla had ended up sharing what they both called ‘their dance’, the one which lead to both of them realizing their feelings for each other. The one that ultimately had been their first step toward this moment.

Yes, the walk had been long, and both of them had stumbled across the way, but they had both managed to get up and keep going forward. And now, years later, they stood outside the very same ballroom where they had taken that first step, now as husband and wife, together on a level they hadn’t been before.

His fond grin melting into a subtler smile, Gabe drew Carla closer and ran his fingertips over her hair. She closed her eyes in pleasure and again rested her head on his chest.

It seemed so surreal now to think there had been a time they had been so afraid of their feelings as to not even talk about them. And that was already discounting the days when they actually had their feelings for each other but were still in denial about them even to themselves. Like the day when they’d had the ‘Navidad-related incident’ both of them had just recalled.

Of course, that had turned out to be for the better. That way, they had been able to share a proper first kiss as a couple, and Carla in particular had been able to have a proper first kiss, period (though he had only learned about that months after the ‘mistletoe incident’).

He supposed it was a good thing neither of them was superstitious. After all, avoiding a kiss under the mistletoe was said by some to bring back luck.

And it was true they had been in some rough spots over the years.

But they had managed to overcome each one. And he knew that together, they could overcome whatever came next.

Still, that was no reason for them not to amuse themselves a bit with their memory of that moment.

On cue with the thought, Carla raised her head from his chest.

“Just what kind of naughty idea came into that mind of yours?” she teased, reaching up her arm to twirl his signature pushed up strangs.

In the early days, there had been a few such occasions where he had wondered if Carla had used her mind-reading power to figure out what he was thinking so quickly. But he had learned to sense when she did so, and he knew that outside of a few emergencies, the one time she had used it was on that time when she wanted to find out his feelings for her. This case was just a sign of how well they had gotten to know each other.

“You know, I’m not sure how that can be, but in all these years, I realize we never got to have that kiss we both dodged.”

Carla hummed mock-pensively, her lips quivering as she fought down a smirk.

“Is that so?...” she drawled. “And what are you going to do about it, Captain?”

Saying so, she again reached up and flicked her fingers through his hair. He raised his eyebrows in mock-pensiveness.

“Well, if we had some mistletoe, I know what I would do, but alas, there isn’t any over here,” he replied. “So it seems we will need to move over to a place where there is some?”

She frowned pensively at his words.

“I think that would give everyone too much of a show. We should find another solution.” Her eyes lit up. “And I know just the one.”

Saying so, she slipped her hand under the top layer of her dress and drew out her tamborita.

“I can just bring some over here.”

“Always prepared, I see,” he teased.

She smirked again, flicking at the handle of the sword at his waist.

“Look who’s talking.”

He had no argument for that. While this sword was slightly shorter and much thinner than the sword he used on everyday duty, and mostly meant for decorative purposes, it was still fairly sharp and would be able to make damage if he used it on someone. He hoped that day wouldn’t come, but too many things over the years had shown it was better to be safe than sorry.

“Llévaluq!” she said as she aimed her tamborita at a spot above the balcony’s door.

Three mistletoe leaves floated from their ties and floated over the balcony toward them, halting at a spot about a foot above Gabe’s head, magic keeping them still despite the breeze that blew around them.

Without any more words, she slipped her tamborita back into its giant custom-made pocket.

Then, she turned upwards to face him, a current of sparks flowing between them as their gazes locked into each other.

Resting his right hand on her jawline and his left one on her shoulder, he leaned down to meet her, as she in turn reached up toward him, both her arms wrapping around her shoulders, her left hand sliding up to rest on his nape.

Then, their lips met, their mouths moving over each other in exactly the same way both of them knew the other liked by now, nipping at the ideal spots, pursing their lips around each other’s with just the right amount of pressure, and moving at the exact pace both of them knew the other like.

His right hand moved from Carla’s jawline and dove into the chocolate-brown waterfall flowing down her back, his fingers and palm resting on her nape as her fingers wrapped around his hair. Somehow, the two of them managed to come even closer together, their kiss so tuned over the years that it seemed more rehearsed than one of Carla’s dance performances, and yet flowing from each other as naturally as breathing.

Neither of them spoke, and neither of them actively tried to convey their thoughts through any other way, but as their kiss lasted on until it seemed to grow eternal, both of them knew the other was thinking exactly the same thing.

That despite however things had started out back when Carla first showed up in Avalor, and however they had turned out by the árbol navideño all those years ago, both of them were glad they had found their way to each other, and thankful to be together.

All around them, lights kept twinkling whether from the stars above or from the various Navidad decorations nearby, neither of them paying much attention as they devoted their focus to the moment they were sharing, and the joy that was being with each other.

[a-baleful-howl]

I’m about to go full-on petty mode. So if you don’t care about my personal gloating and back-patting, scroll on by lol

This post contains spoilers for episode 1 of season 8, and also spoilers for my fic The Lone Wolf Dies.

I recognize this post is really only for me. I’m a salty bitch.

This is fanart the wonderful and lovely @cathcacen drew for me when I was at my lowest and receiving the most hate I’ve ever gotten for a fic. 

I ranted about it for a bit, deleted the worst of the flames I could off of FFN, and I haven’t actually been back to FFN since this all happened. Don't think I havent noticed the love and support I got from the JonsaFam, either. I very much appreciated it, and I know many people enjoyed my fic (and are begging me to finish it...).

Here’s some highlights of the comments I received on FFN accusing me of being “unrealistic” or of committing “character assassination” (sad thing is, these aren’t even the worst reviews I got):

“Arya would never let Sansa or the Northern Lords do that to Jon[...]This story is making Jon a bit of a wimp and Arya willing to betray him even though she loves him more than Sansa.” [saphirablue25 on chapter 1]

“Another story about Jonsa, and Anti-Dany, and pro-norte and pro-stark? these crap stories are becoming common since season 7.[...]and this kind of stories, without any artistic or literary value, just deserve to be vilified. is just another excuse to be myopic and criticize character without reason, especially when it is already something practically canon that Jon / Daenerys will be in the books too, as one producer of the HBO series said, who was told George Martin. waste of time.” [flayjunior15 on chapter 1]

“this story is rubbish, more crap without sense…” [guest on chapter 1]

“This is character assassination. Arya Stark would never betray Jon Snow; no matter what;[...]Of course now it’s a Jon and Sansa pairing ignoring everything that happened in season 7 b/c why not?[...] The leaps you Jonsa writers take to mischaracterize daenerys just b/c you’re not getting the ending you want in the show or the books is a little ridiculous. You can’t write a story that’s based on show-canon and then ignore all obstacles presented in said canon just to put your two favorite characters together. That’s not how good storytelling works.” [FanofLogic (lol) on chapter 1]

“I don't think Arya would ever betray Jon, it's just not plausible.[...]There are gaping plot holes, that need to be seriously addressed, the writing and the punctuation are fine, it’s well spaced and makes sense in a linear sense, but in terms of plot and story, it crumbles to dust before you even finish reading the chapter in its entirety.[...]I don’t want to stop you from writing, that’s not my intention, you just need to sit back and ask yourself, if it really makes sense.” [carpenoctem20 on chapter 1]

“Well, I read your story. It is sad really because your writing style is good and enjoyable but the stupidity of your character's actions[...]Too bad, your writing is promising but the story lacks logic…[...]Also, thank you for butchering Arya’s character - she is my favourite and you completely ruined her.” [malb901 on chapter 1]

“I realize that this story is an AU because our characters are written not how they are portray in television or books…” [GUEST VIII on chapter 1]

“If your goal was to write Arya completely out of character and Sansa as a short sighted idiot with the northern lords as her peanut gallery...then good job. Otherwise your characterization needs a lot of work.” [guest on chapter 1]

“Arya...well how she is written is so absurdly offbase from canon you would have been better off write my that part as an of to avoid having preconceived about the character.” [guest on chapter 1]

“What a load of complete garbage. So much character assassination across the board is an injustice to GRRM’s work!” [guest on chapter 1]

“Another junk Jonsa story, I see that many of these losers, are very salty, because their crackship (because that’s the Jonsa, a crack) shipwrecked last season.[...]The author of this story is another salty loser with no sense, just like all the Jonsa fans of this crack ship.[...] even Arya has a stronger relationship with Jon than with any member of her family, she would care less about the North, even threatening to kill the Northern Lord, if they hurt Jon. Only two idiots of Jonsa, defend this story.” [JonsaSucks on chapter 1]

“Highly questionable characterization and plot holes big enough to fly a dragon through...pass” [guest on chapter 2]

“With Arya, she's so OC in this that it would have made more sense to make her a new character. She would never choose Sansa over Jon.” [saphirablue25 on chapter 2]

“So disappointing! This story is a complete disservice to anyone who is not a blind Sansa worshiper.[...]The plot holes don't do you any favors either.” [Zmrzlina763 on chapter 3]

“Poorly written, plot holes, unrealistic” [guest on chapter 3]

“What a pile of crap. So many plot holes and character assassination. You should be ashamed to publish such garbage.” [guest on chapter 4]

“I hated this story...thought it was really ridiculous.” [guest on chapter 4]

“I would highly recommend rereading GRRM’s work as it’s obvious you are basing your characterizations on contrived reimaginings with no basis in the work you claim to be a fan of. Please do us all a favor and quit polluting the fandom with this nonsense.” [guest on chapter 4]

And finally, for the piece de resistance!

“Oh boy that story became retarded real quick” [guest on chapter 1]

Now, I might be biased but my brain kept pointing out similarities to the first episode of season 8 and my fic - which I never claimed to be writing what I thought was really going to happen, but that this what I wished in a best case scenario would, my interpretation of all the info we got from Season 7, and it was always only ever supposed to be a Jonsa one-shot but it kept growing.

Now, one of the biggest complaints I got was “character assassination” - saying that the characters would never behave the way I wrote them to. This is mainly what I want to focus on as clearly the fic is not exactly the same as the episode - and I never expected it to be. Fanfic is fanfic for a reason. For one, Sansa and the North refuse Jon and Dany, and that's kind of the catalyst to everything else that happens in the fic. Thats a big change - so I’m not saying “My fic was exactly like the show!!” I just wanted to point out all the moments while watching the show I was like “See! I didn’t assassinate anyone’s character!” since that’s apparently a crime I was committing against all of fandom.

If you haven’t read the fic, I highly suggest you do since many of these quotes are small snippets taken from a bigger context.

All the text is from my fic, the pictures are the moments I thought were similar from the show.

Daenerys had chosen to forgo her dragons to mount a horse instead, as a show of equality and peace to the Northern people.

The Hound, Sandor Clegane, rode beside them, seemingly reluctant to be there, in his own way.

“Greetings,” she announced. “How gracious for you to meet us.” Though her words were not sweet - they never were - and she measured the air between the two parties cautiously.

“You’ve traveled very far,” Sansa responded, her horse shifting impatiently under her. Her voice did not waver, and it carried loud and clear across the void. “It would be rude of me to not turn you away personally.”

Daenerys remained silent.

“We know no King, but the King in the North whose name is Stark.” Lyanna Mormont bellowed from her own steed. Her eyes were glowering, stern and furious. Not little Lyanna…

“First the Wildlings, and now a foreign whore,” Lord Glover spat, his horse just as wide as he was. “You’re not a Northerner. You’re anything but.”

He looked to Sansa for an answer. Surely Sansa would not leave him to the wolves. Yet she avoided his eye.

“I missed you too, Jon…” she called back, and his heart knew that she meant it. “But Starks stick together. I know that now. What would Father think?” His heart broke. If only they knew…

Jon had warned her. He knew before heading to Dragonstone that the Northerners were not likely to kneel to a foreign ruler. Sansa had said so herself many times. He resisted the urge to gloat, to remind the Dragon Queen of his words.

“Sam?” he whispered. Surely he must be imagining it. Sam was here? In Winterfell? The round man came stumbling towards him, his arms waving madly by his sides to catch Jon's attention.[...] The two clasped each other in a strong embrace for a moment before Jon pulled back. [...] “Gilly?” Jon asked absently. “And the baby?” “They're fine!” Sam answered, finally with a dim smile. “They’re here.”

Arya . Oh, Arya! She’s safe. He frantically grabbed her, sweeping his hands over her hair and face, feverishly kissing the top of her head, thanking the old gods that she was here. Thank the gods his little sister was alive. She had wrapped her arms so tightly around him he could barely breathe.

“You leave him alone!” Arya barked, running swiftly down the hall towards them.

“Don’t you understand what this means, Jon?” Sam insisted. “You’re the heir to the Iron Throne.”

Jon didn’t care about that. Not now. Suddenly everything he thought he knew was a lie. His father- no, his uncle... had lied to him his whole life. This meant that Daenerys was his aunt by blood. And Sansa was his…

He suddenly felt very ill.

[...]Everything tasted bitter to him now. Everything he had ever known was a lie, but oddly, it made sense. Eddard had gone south to save his sister and had returned with a child. It made sense. How - how - had he not seen it before?

[...]People die and stay dead. That was a fact. Unless he had believed more lies than the one his uncle had told him his whole life.

He had traveled on horseback many times, but never alone. [...] When he drew nearer to Winterfell, the snow and winds were so strong he was forced to cover every inch of skin but his eyes.

“You look like you’ve seen the seven hells.”

“You don’t look any better,” Sandor replied. Jaime tried to ignore the slight. It was true he was unshaven, unwashed and frozen to the bone.

“It’s too late,” Bran interrupted. Jon’s blood ran cold at the words.

“What do you mean it’s too late?”

“The Wall is gone. Eastwatch is gone. There is a dragon that breathes blue fire.”

Now, I’m not trying to say “I’m Nostradamus and I guessed the entire first episode.” No. That is absolutely not what I’m saying. I thought I made an informed guess into how the characters might react to the events in season 7 and amongst each other, and used my own opinions on the characterizations to write a story based around one thing: Jon realizing he loved Sansa because she died. Everything else was secondary to me. 

It’s only because I got such immediate and hostile push back to something I saw as obvious foreshadowing that made me feel so vindicated when the first episode had so many similarities to what I wrote. Anyone could have come up with these same lines as I did - because the evidence was there and the Jonsa fam was pointing it out the whole time. 

I just reallllly hate how fanfiction, especially in ASOIAF and on FFN, has the default accusation of “character assassination” to use when you just hate a story, when all fandom characterizations are just opinions. Only the author of the original source material can decry character assassination. Fanfiction is everyone’s personal choices when it comes to things like this, and it appears that a whole shitload of Dany Stans descended on my story, and instead of saying “I hate Jonsa and Dany can do no wrong” they personally attacked me for horrible writing - when in fact I was the one more on point than they were. I never expected Sansa and the North to literally turn Dany and Jon away at the gates - but thats why I wrote a fanfic about it. Because that was the only way I was going to see it told.

I was so upset by this (can’t you tell? lol) that seeing this episode really made me feel good and feel more proud in what I wrote. 

okay. rant over.

[dxmedstudent]

Thanks, Facebook!

I’ve been going through my facebook suggested friends list and I was struck by how... distinct the categories were. And how odd. I really wish it would just let me disappear people once and for all, because it feels like it is always trying to get me to add the same people. Or maybe it’s not the same people but it always seems to come up with so many. The first category was... people I have so many mutual friends with. But just because I have 32 friends i common with someone, doesn’t mean I know them. My year at med school had over 300 people in it, and I’m a faceblind introvert who minds her own business. There is no way I have had meaningful interactions with all these people, no matter how many mutual friends we have. Medicine, in particular is a small world, and we all know a lot of people, but I don’t see why I should add every person I shared a lecture theatre with, or shared a hospital with. I’m so glad that I block people I stop talking to, because I can foresee lots of now-defriended exes being recommended to people purely because of mutual friends. I can see why their algorithm would assume I must know these people, or even be very close with them, but the’res a difference between ‘these friends all hang out and therefore probably know each other’ and ‘these 40 people work or go to university together, so they’ll all want to ‘friend’ each other. Sometimes I really have no clue who these people are. Most of the time, actually. Occasionally, I do, but I know them so little that I might as well not know them at all. There are a lot of not-particularly-close-friends’ siblings, cousins, partners whoI have never met, and may never do so. And parents, though friends’ parents tend to the the kinds of people who love to add you on facebook, and you can’t say no because you do think they are OK but this is all sort of a bit weird.  Even if it’s a close friend, I may I love my friend and know their sister, doesn’t mean I need their grandmother or aunt or friend I’ve never met, on my facebook. Maybe we’ve met a few times, and they are a friend of a friend, but we’re not really close and I can’t imagine they need to see my hilarious museum photos ported from instagram. Sometimes it’s other people’s partners - who I’ve never met, even if we do have friends in common. I can’t really see any good coming of me adding everyone’s husbands who I don’t even know, no matter if we have a few mutuals. I’m fairly sure most people I know aren’t that weird kind of possessive jealous partner who vets their partner’s FB friendlist, but I can imagine that in friend circles things might get awkward. That reminds me of the threatened dating app feature of facebook; particulary the ‘crushes’ element where people can nominate people they know. Given that  if you’re a grownup avoiding confessing your feelings, it’s probably for a reason, it just seems really ill-thought out. And even if you are going to have an affair, it probably shouldn’t be conducted on social media sites with a patchy privacy history. It’s all just deeply weird and I hope facebook doesn’t try to integrate whatever they are planning in any intrusive fashion. There are also people I know but I’m not adding for a reason; people I don’t like, people I used to like but it wasn’t reciprocated, people I’ve had beef with and are now no longer in my life, and anyone who I might have gotten to know through them. The most awkward of these is an ex-friend’s current girlfriend. I’ve met them, and I’m sure they are a lovely person, but I really think that’d be more drama than I could handle. Others are just people I thought were OK, but just never gelled with well enough to let them in on my life. Or people who seemed OK in university, but after years of not really talking, there’s just... not much to say? To be honest, I’ve been having the strong urge to go on a bit of a social media cull and just... quietly restrict my circle to people who are meaningful to my life right now. I’ve been resisting, but really, I do want to pare things down. I do like when it picks up friends from work, though facebook often doesn’t pick up the people I necessarily want to add, rather, it picks up the people who seem to add everyone. The people I want to add are often a bit more reserved, and I am always left wondering if I’m intruding by ‘friending’ people from work, partly because I myself am quite a private person who doesn’t want to let many people in. People rarely make the cut these days, but every once in a while I make friends that I really want to carry with me after I’ve moved hospital and changed place. I’m a bit shy when it comes to adding colleagues on Facebook; I have to feel pretty comfortable with a colleague before they make the jump to a highly curated version of my profile. And consultants? Never make the cut. You do not make friends with your boss. There’s a whole slew of older relatives I’m very deliberately not adding. They can live their own life, but I don’t particularly want to be their entertainment when it comes to the rumor mill, I am fairly sure my cousins curate their facebooks even more rigidly, for the same reasons. When I can tell you that some of my relatives are known for being both extremely talkative, nosy and blunt to the point of offensiveness, you can see why I might not want them nosing around my every post; it’d just make things less fun. There are some relatives whose suggested profles or friend requests are currently being considered, as I try to work out if my current privacy setting for relatives is restrictive enough to make me happy to add them. It’s not even like I add anything particularly controversial or salacious on facebook, I am what most people would describe as a boring person.  I just don’t feel comfortable with opening up my profile to lots of people, and I don’t want to feel self-conscious if I put something up. I could say that it’s my issue, but given that my relatives are pretty blunt (see any of my ‘why aren’t you getting married?!’ posts), my self-consiousness with relatives has a pretty obvious cause. I do however, like to use facebook to keep up with some relatives and family friends; living abroad and doing my own thing means I don’t see some people who I really care about as much as I would like to. And whilst anyone who is really close to me is actually on my Whatsapp, there’s a place for people who aren’t my best friends or immediate family in my life. If I’m honest, my facebook mainly exists for keeping up with people like that; who I care enough about that I like to know they are doing well, and that I can catch up with them once in a while, but we’re not on whatsapping terms. And also for some of my best school friends who never seemed to get the hang of regular texting or  whatsapp or even email; for some of them, these only exist to arrange meetups, where real interaction happens. Being a busy person with a horrible timetable, that is personally the opposite of how I feel, but I try to keep up with their lives as best as I can. Facebook did pick up the guy that I’m seeing; no mutual friends so I was a bit surprised at first.  I assume it uses information from instagram and Whatsapp, which we prefer because unlike facebook they allow you to conduct your love life discreetly, rather than entertaining your friends and relatives like the local panda breeding programme. We discussed ages ago that we’re both not fussed about social media, and since update each other often and spend lots of time together IRL, it wouldn’t really add anything apart from old holiday photos, embarrassingly dorky comments and likes from 15 years ago and my slightly embarrassing fanart photo albums (Oh god, don’t dump me because of terrible, terrible Naruto fanart, I’m begging you! I can change!) there’s no rush. Thinking about it, I’ve already seen his old holiday photos, so I’m good for now, thanks. Don’t get me wrong; he’s wonderful and I’d have no issue with him being on my profile, he could see what he likes and I’d be happy to be ‘connected’ to him. But there’s no privacy on facebook from your extended social circles.  We’ve reached the point where the people in our lives have heard of the person, but haven’t gotten to know them, and I feel it’d be gentler to introduce each other in each others’ lives much more fully before our friends and family start judging the person we are dating due to their truly mediocre selfies or choice of likes on facebook. I avoid having my older relatives on facebook partly because I know they’d be tittering every time I added a male friend or (heavens!) a man wrote a comment, so.. just no. I just hope he doesn’t come up as a random suggested to anyone close to me; that seems the kind of thing FB’s creepy algorithms could throw up. That’s because for me, the weirdest category of recommended friends, by far is people who I do know but have no mutuals with, and who I’ve never interacted with on social media- I don’t even have their number. We’ve never shared so much as a whatsapp message. By reasonable standards, they should not be suggested to me, and yet, here they are by some dark force I cannot understand. I can sort of see how some of my distant cousins might be picked up by Facebook’s algorithms, but FB is also giving me colleagues who it really shouldn’t know I know. I don’t ever have my place of work on FB, don’t list my location (though it might be mentioned - not geotagged - on some photos) and we have no friends in common. It’s funny that I actually quite like some of these people, so occasionally they make the jump, but I just find it weird that FB has figured out we know each other. I wonder if it’s due to geographic location? It does make me a little afraid of how good the algorithms are getting. There’s also people it thinks I know that I do not. No mutual friends. No similar geography. I assume they must be people a couple of degrees of separation from either uni friends/ colleagues or relatives, but I fail to see why facebook even tries to sell you these people. Where do they come from? Who knows. Anyhow, I’d love to hear whatever awkwardness FB is selling everyone else, or if someone actually understands their friendship algorithms.

[mychaosacademia-blog]

Different jobs that My Hero Academia characters could have (as adults)

*LONG POST WARNING! MORE UNDER THE CUT*

1. Midoriya- The Good Cop™

Deku always wanted to save people and before One for All became a part of his life everyone advised him to simply go for the police. If he didn’t become a hero, he would probably become a policeman, and he’d probably make a damn good one, taking into account his perfect balance of righteousness, selflessness, and empathy. If all cops were like him, the world would be saved.

Midoriya: *holds back tears* I-it’s okay now... Because I am here...

2. Bakugou- The Impulsive Soldier

Is there any job that Bakugou could like doing more than fighting? He could initially struggle with being at the very bottom of the military hierarchy, but being put in his place for a while could perhaps help him get over his problems with accepting losing and help. And anyway, he’d climb up fast. After all, this boy’s strong and smart as heck. Just imagine him getting to drill the new recruits...

Bakugou: *yells* I’LL KILL YOU, LAZY SCUM!! 500 PUSH UPS, starting NOW!!

New recruit, terrified to the core: Aye sir!

3. Uraraka- Bob The Builder

Uraraka’s quirk would be perfect to use on a construction site. She’s a strong girl, practical and determined, and would even manage to deal with any potential accidents at work. Plus she comes from the working class, but that’s just an addition.

Uraraka: I can work hard and earn money for my parents this way too!

4. Todoroki- The Vengeful Firefighter

Get it? FIRE-FIGHTER. Now THAT would be a way to go against Endeavor and his plans, wouldn’t it? Tbh much sassier than becoming a hero.

Todoroki: It is then... *15 minutes of traumatic flashback* when I decided to devote the rest of my life to fighting fire. After all, it reminded me of my father... the reason I got this scar...

5. Tsuyu- The Lifeguard

Taking into account what hero internship Tsuyu chose, it is quite easy to determine what she would do with life if she wouldn’t become a hero. The sea is her area, and water is her friend. But she needs some contact with the land too like frogs do and she liked saving people so...

Tsuyu: Kero... *blows the whistle* Please get out of the water, a storm is coming!

6. Iida- The Pure Lawyer

Iida is the most Lawful Good person in existence, probably. He likes rules, knows them all, and is really dedicated to reminding others of them. Cases with his involvement would be guaranteed to be solved justly, regardless of the benefit of his client.

Iida: *gesticulation intensifies* Your honor, I urge you to consider Article 137, paragraph 3! And wear warmer clothes tomorrow, this weather can make you sick!

7. Kaminari- The Portable Phone Charger  Disco Bartender

Kaminari is surely someone who likes people and a good party. Even if his quirk would make him perfect for an electrician, quite certainly he’d just regard it FAR TOO DULL. This boy wants to be COOL. He’d probably try to work his way up to a manager or owner of his own club; but with his intelligence stats, this could take a while. For now, he’d make SHOCKING drinks and chat with everyone around.

Kaminari: *obviously flirting with customers and showing off his cool electricity tricks* yEAH MY FUTURE CLUB WILL BE THE COOLEST! Imagine like... MEME THEMED PARTY

Customer: *quietly* That sounds kind of cringy...

8. Mina- The Kids Entertainer

Mina just seems like someone who’d be simply ADORED by kids. She’s sweet, bubbly, so so fun, and looks like she’s dressed up already! The Alien Queen parties would be booked months in advance. And every kid would dream of getting one for their birthday...

Mina: IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS!

Kids: *climb on her back trying to touch the horns* ALIEN QUEEEEEN!!!

9. Kirishima & Testutetsu- The MMA stars

STRONG BOIS. MASCULINE BROS. GOTTA BE THE MANLIEST and gayest. MMA ROCKS AND HAS A HEART OF STEEL! Also Kirishima would be quickly voted the greatest cinnamon roll of MMA

Tetsutetsu: *screaming and wrestling*

Kirishima: *screaming and wrestling wholesomely*

10. Ojiro- The Veterinary Assistant

Ojiro isn’t the greatest fan of the spotlight, and probably would enjoy a calm, but helpful job as a veterinary assistant. Plus, his tail can give him instant connection points with scared, caudate pets!

Ojiro: *waggles his tail*

A normally aggressive dog: *waggles the tail back and jumps to lick his face*

Ojiro: *giggles, petting the dog* See, there’s nothing to be scared of!

11. Toru- The Shop Assistant actually secretly a CIA Covert Investigator but shhh it’s a secret

We know that Toru likes shopping and would probably be great as a boutique employee. She’s sweet, she has great social skills, and she certainly has style! But at the same time... it would be hard to believe that with her quirk she didn’t get a suggestion to become a spy alongside her job. Did she agree? Did she not? I guess we’ll never know...

Toru: You look amazing in this suit, Mr. President! I think you should really buy it! *places a tiny hidden camera inside the pocket*

12. Koda- The Wildlife Rehabilitator 

There is no other job where the ability to talk to the animals would be more life-saving than a wildlife rehabilitator. Also, taking into account how shy Koda seems, he’d probably prefer to work with animals rather than humans...

Koda: Don’t worry, sweet bunny! You’re safe now!

Bunny: *noms on his plushie*

13. Aoyama- The Sparkling Model

Was there ever any doubt? Aoyama would be a STUNNING model. Just imagine...

*LIGHTS OFF*

*A REFLECTOR ILLUMINATES A SINGLE SPOT ON THE STAGE*

*EPIC MUSIC PLAYS, THE CROWD WHISPERS EXCITED*

AND THERE HE COMES......

Aoyama in his new pajamas collection!

Aoyama: I cAnNoTu StOpPu SpArKLiNg!!

14. Yaomomo- The Patient Teacher

Lecturing Mina and Kaminari among others before the exams just HAD to take lots of patience and supreme teaching skills. If she managed to make these two pass, she can definitely deal EVEN with a class of 30 10-year-olds.

Momo: *for the 13th time* Now, let’s try again! 2 times 3 is?

Some kid with IQ of Kaminari an ameba: ....4?

15. Jirou- The Sound Engineer

She’d definitely keep playing music as her hobby but she seems like a person who’d like to have a stable, technical job as her primary source of income nonetheless. Plus, her quirk would be perfect to hear out the slightest inadequacies of sound!

Jirou: So we have to add gain here, equalize there, distort over here, and probably remaster the whole thing too.

A very confused beginning artist: Uh-uh...

16. Tokoyami- The Subculture Shop Owner

Tokoyami is such a goth birb. So dramatic. So dark. If any goths or emos saw his room in the dorms they would all LOVE this aesthetic. As such, he’d make a good job at picking and selling clothes and accessories for fellow goths and other subcultures. And having Dark Shadow would just make him more famous...

Some goth girl: So you’re like... REALLY filled with a Dark Shadow of you? That’s so spooky!

Tokoyami, who already heard this question 20 times in the past 2 hours: What do you want to buy?

17. Sero- The Steeplejack

With that quirk, he pretty much wouldn’t have to worry about falling. Not to mention THE POWER OF FLEX TAPE

Sero: *swinging on the tape on top of a cathedral* This is pretty fun!

Other steeplejacks: *clinging to their ladders* Watch out!

18. Satou- The Pastry Cook

Mmmm his cakes. The world lost a treasure when Satou decided to be a hero instead of a pastry cook. Truly heartbreaking. Think of all the tasty things he would make constantly...

Class 1A, plotting behind his back: We have to make Satou fall out of the hero course

Satou, terrified: G-guys! I can bake you cakes without that!

19. Mineta- The Pimp *mild NSFW*

I am so sorry. Oh, wait, actually I’m not. Why is Mineta even trying to be a hero? I mean, should THAT be the job of his dreams?

Mineta: *manic laughter* OH MY IT’S LIKE A WET DREAM

20. Monoma- The Professional 4chaner  Internet Troll Actually why did I cross it off, that’s exactly what he’d do

I have no words.

Monoma: *sips Red Bull, typing* HA! CLASS 1A! YOU SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES REEEEEEEEEEE CUCK

21. Shinsou- The Questionable Detective

Ah yes. The police for introverts. Like Midoriya, Shinsou would probably want to save people a lot, so I reckon he’ll choose this path if he wouldn’t become a hero. Just think of how useful his quirk could be...

Shinsou: *having a suspect hypnotized* Knock on the table three times if you did it.

Suspect: *knocks*

Another detective: ...Are you sure this is ethical?

22. Hatsume- The Weirdly Motherly Engineer

I mean, she sort of already is one... But she could probably design much more than just hero costumes! What if she went to robotics... Then her babies could actually talk back to her!

Hatsume, turning on a new robot: My new baby!

Robot: *turning to Hatsume* Mama!

Every human being around: *assessing Hatsume’s age and judging hard*

23. All Might- The Hollywood celebrity specializing in superhero movies!

#LETALLMIGHTPLAYCAPTAINAMERICA2018

All Might: *looking at the shipping fanarts following the movie world premiere* ...........why has my life come to this

24. Aizawa- The Cat Cafe owner

CATS ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE. If he had the money and time, he’d FOR SURE set up his own cafe of purring babies. And he’d be very protective over them every time he’d visit...

Aizawa: *thunder in eyes* Don’t you DARE disturb Marshmallow’s sleep, you can pet her when she wants to and ONLY IF she wants to

Mic: AWWWW MARSHMALLOW THAT’S ADORABLEEE

Aizawa: *aggressive whispering* I swear if your screams wake her up I WILL assassinate you

25. Present Mic- The Full-time Radio Host

I mean, this one is kind of obvious. How does he have 3 jobs at once anyway?

Mic: *PLAYS AFRICA BY TOTO FOR THE 3RD TIME DURING HIS 4 HOUR PROGRAM* I BLESS THE RAIN DOWN IN AAAAAAFRICAAAAA yo what do you mean I’m being cringy

26. Midnight- The 18+ Domina

Another kinda obvious one? Oh well. She’d be happy and empowered doing that, so don’t judge.

Midnight: Ah, so exciting!!

27. Tomura- The Unemployed

Tomura’s personality doesn’t seem exactly suited for any kind of work... or society, for this matter. At least as long as All For One is around, he’d certainly rest on him, gaming his days away. And after that... even though his sensei already planned for him to take over his company, Tomura prefers not to think about that.

Tomura: *hissing at any opportunity of a job* I don’t like this quest *hides in the hoodie*

28. All For One- The Plotting CEO

All For One seems to love his suit and wears it quite well, so he could certainly do well at a largely formal, managing job. And he’d be the first to exploit ALL for ONE, something that large businesses unfortunately often do...

All For One: *ruining someone’s life and fortune with a smirk* How unfortunate... for you, of course.  

29. Toga- The Professional Cosplayer

Toga’s quirk and erm... interests seem to be perfect for her to be a psycho fan of real-life celebrities, whose blood she steals for her cosplays. As these “cosplays” she makes are literally perfect, she manages to get quite a lot of money from the photoshoots. The celebrities are just very surprised noticing a fresh needle wound on their arm when they wake up in the morning...

Toga: *jumping up and down* I want to become them all! I will become them all! I want to cut them! Blood!

[kakooshi]

11 Questions

Notice that I’m doing these tag games consecutively to make up for my lazy ass XD. Anyway, I was tagged by lovelies @theredstarassassin , @tvvy  and @ackercat to answer some questions (22 in all...*readies fingers*....let’s do this lovelies!)

Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. Write 11 questions of your own. Tag 11 people.

1. Do you prefer looking at fan-art or reading fan-fiction?

Both fanart and fanfiction are equally precious to me because I always get to see unique and various styles in writing or drawing. Sometimes, I see fanart inspired by fanfics and vice versa; I believe that’s one of the great ways to keep a fandom alive. 

2. If you were a CEO and had to hire three characters from your favorite fandom, who would you choose and why? 

Erwin, Hange, and Levi. If you’ve ever seen these three in action, you’ll know exactly why I picked them.

3. How do you think you would do if you were to participate in a survival game? (Like The Hunger Games etc.)

I’d probably trip and fall trying to run away from the person wanting to kill me lol, so I’d say poorly and clumsily.

4. What is your least favorite dish, and why?

This is Pancit Palabok, a famous Filipino noodle dish. It might look delicious to you, but to me nah. Plus, it’s too oily for my taste.

5. Pick one character from your favorite fandom, who you would like to give a piece of mind. What would you say? 

- Mikasa Ackerman

Me: I hope you will survive and push through despite whatever cruelty the world bestows upon you. I wish for you to be able to come back to the happy and peaceful life you’ve always dreamed of. You are beautiful, courageous, and undoubtedly strong, and I LOVE YOU~<3

6. You have won the lottery, and can bring any person or character anywhere in the world. Who would you pick, and where would you go?

Armin. I’d like to take him to all of the beaches in the Philippines so we can admire the vast scenery together.

7. What is your favorite quote, and why? 

“You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” This quote really gets to me, like, it gives me the urge to say it to the people who are close to me.

8. Pick three characters from your favorite fandom to place in three different movies. Who would you place in what movie, and why?

Eren Jaeger in Kingsman: The Secret Service. I just wanna see him do parkour, wear a fancy suit jacket, and be a bamf, that’s all...and I also want to see him pining after Levi and Erwin who are top-notch seasoned agents in their secret spy organization...

Levi Ackerman in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. This movie has A-list black comedy, themes of immorality, and that neo-noir goodness that would totally fit for someone as hard-ass as Levi.

Erwin Smith in the Captain America franchise...what more can I explain?

9. What is your favorite social media, and why? 

Tumblr, because I find other social media platforms boring and disorganized.

10. Most embarrassing experience that happened in 2017?

None so far. None that would haunt me anyway.

11. Favorite Disney song, and why? 

“Colors of the Wind.” (x) It’s such a deeply moving song with inspiring lyrics and a lovely and powerful tune.

12. If you had one, what was your 'stereotype’ in school? (jock, nerd, goth, etc) 

I used to be the lonely introvert who was both a geek and a dork and couldn’t stand the thought of reaching out and socializing with other people because I was afraid of being myself around them. I’m still an awkward bean, but I’m more initiative now.

13. What are your favorite and least favorite foods? 

Mah favorite

Mah least favorite of course is the Palabok that I’ve mentioned 9 questions ago.

14. Who is your favorite character from your current fandom and why?

Eren Jaeger. He’s might come off as your typical shounen protagonist, but he’s more versatile than that. Both the manga and anime can attest to this.

15. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

The shape of my face probably. I have these chubby cheeks that I..argh....

16. What are your favorite hobbies?

Reading. And pretending to know how to write and draw.

17. Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? 

Spring. It signals the beginning of a new hope and the weather is just perf.

18. What’s one obstacle you’ve overcome recently? 

Slightly getting over my fear of interacting with people.

19. Yes or no: Pineapple on pizza? Fries dipped in mayonnaise? Ketchup on eggs? 

No to all except fries dipped in mayonnaise (as long as it’s mixed with ketchup)

20. What is your most resourceful skill?

Creative writing probably, only in an amateurish way.

21. If you could pick three fictional characters to bring to life, who would they be and why? 

Makoto Naegi from Danganronpa: He’s easy to befriend

Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney: If by chance you get accused of something you didn’t do, this man will defend you with all he’s got...even though he’s known for spouting bullshit from time to time.

Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender: He’d be the best guidance counselor ever.

22. What is the end-goal for you; What do you want to do with your life?

I simply want to live and feel good about it...forever.

And now for my own questions!

1. What is your LEAST favorite color?

2. Which trope in a fanfic do you absolutely hate and want to die?

3. Pick a favorite character from your current fandom and write at least one headcanon about them.

4. Which movie universe would you like to place the characters of your current fandom in? 

5. Enemies-to-lovers or Childhood-friends-to-lovers?

6. Who would you switch bodies with, and why?

7. Favorite book genre?

8. Which video game universe would you like to live in, and why?

9. Where would you like go on a first date? 

10. For you, what is the right age to get married?

11. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Ahhhh sorry for these boring and generic questions; I’m feeling out of sorts, today....of course, the power is in your hands!

Tagging: @smol-human-espresso @erensjaegerbombs @deyanirasan @writer-person @yaboylevi @viktorcupcakes @emmackerman @well--i-dont--know @softymir @humanity-s-strongest-34 and @aotaku-jaeger104