#i think i hallucinated when i was younger also. did not think hallucinations could work they way they do for me now tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gojomamashouse · 10 months

Text

I certainly can. And I did. Well, sort of. I took some creative liberties with this one. Crossposted on Ao3.

Warnings: 18+ Content Vaginal sex, Praise kink, Loss of virginity (both reader and Mike), soft!dom Mike.

Pairing: Mike Schmidt x Reader

Summary: From the name written on your sneakers to the hickey on your neck, Mike had left his mark on you in more ways than one.

Words: 5.8k

According to fandom wiki, Mike is 25 in the movie. The timeline of this story is based on this fact.

In Permanent Marker

1995

Mike has a problem. An even bigger problem than his annoying younger sister, or the bills he cannot pay that keep piling up. That problem is you, his new next-door neighbour.

It all began when he had been unloading the boxes from the car, calling out to Abby as she disappeared to explore the new house. The place was small, but enough for the two of them. More importantly, it was as affordable as it could get, given the savings his parents left behind, the money from the government, and his new job. That was all he really needed.

"Need help, there?"

A voice broke him from his thoughts, a voice belonging to you. He did a double take as he looked to his side towards you, nearly dropping the box in shock. He blinks as if you're nothing more than a hallucination, induced by his lack of sleep, dehydration, and the summer heat. Because there was no way that you were standing there. Someone his age. Someone so attractive. Someone exactly his type and talking to him. You take notice of his shocked expression.

"My folks and I saw you from the window," you point to the house left of his, "thought I could lend a hand.”

"Yeah. Yeah, uh," he nods eagerly, breaking eye contact as he fumbles over his words. He looks back towards the house, "If you could watch my little sister while I unload these. She’s somewhere inside…”

“You’ve got it,” you flash him a smile.

—

He’s sweating and close to passing out as he places the last box down in the front hallway, bracing himself against the wall as he catches his breath. He then looks around. There’s no furniture yet. He couldn’t afford movers to help move the couch or the kitchen table from his parent’s old house, instead opting to sell the furniture and find cheaper options once moved in. That meant he’d be eating on the floor until he had time off work again. This also meant he’d have to take Abby table-shopping and listen to her complain every time she picked something out of his price range, then cry the whole drive back home. He groans to himself, annoyed by his endless stream of thoughts. He supposes that’s just adulthood, now. There’s always something to think about.

He hears giggling from down the hallway, grabbing his attention enough to raise himself from the wall. He creeps towards the sound, peeking past Abby's door. A box was open on the floor, toys and crafts scattered across the carpet. You sit cross-legged in the middle of the room at Abby’s side and she’s pointing to her drawings, chattering away.

He wonders how you make it look so easy.

—

"I don't like it here." Abby tugs on the leg of his jeans, "Can we go back?"

It’s the last thing Mike wants to hear the morning after moving in, his back and arms still sore from all that he carried. He looks down to see her lips were pulled into a frown, her brows furrowed. He's leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking instant coffee from a mug he'd managed to dig out from one of the kitchenware boxes, staring at all the shit he has left to do. And, of course, his sister could never let him do that in peace.

"This is where we live now."

"Why?"

"Because it is."

"I don't want to live here."

And I don't want to work shitty hours for shitty pay just to afford this dump, he thinks to himself.

Still, he can't blame her. The place is a downgrade. The toilet in the main bathroom doesn't really flush, her room is half the size of the one at their parent's old place, and he’d discovered more than a few suspicious stains on some of the walls and carpeting around the house.

"Well, that's just too bad."

"I want to go back!" She shouted, her little fingers digging harder into the fabric of his jeans, now trying to tug his leg. He tries to nudge her off, shaking his leg just enough to make her lose her grip, but she doesn't budge. He sighs to himself.

She's at that age. Five years old, and a complete menace. She was smarter than she looked and had begun to realize that sometimes creating a fuss could get him to bend the rules for her, which now meant she was constantly defying him. Constantly picking a fight. Constantly whining about something. And as much as he loved her he could not stand to hear another tantrum, especially not this early in the morning.

"Stop it, Abby. I'm not dealing with this today."

"Nu-uh!"

She screams when he tugs her away with his hands, lifting her in the air while she tries to kick and shove him away. He knows he's bound to have bruises from where she kicks his torso and scratches where her nails dig into his skin. Had he any energy left in him, he might have been tempted to raise his voice at her. That's one good thing to come out of his restless nights, at least.

The doorbell rings and she's still whining when he places her down on the floor. He kneels to her level, hands on either of her little shoulders.

"We can talk about it later, okay?" He lowers his voice, desperate for her to be quiet. Anything for her to be quiet. "Behave. And quit being such a baby."

His words were enough to render her silent, by some miracle, and so he goes to the door, only to see you standing there. You . He knows he's ogling again and he hates himself for it but he can't help himself, not when you're so pretty. He leans against the doorframe, clearing his throat.

"Hey, uh. What are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you, too. Thought you might need more help," You lean forward, taking a peek inside the place and noting all the boxes, "Judging by all this, I guess I thought correctly."

"Guilty as charged," he holds his hands up, cherishing the sound of your laugh.

The moment doesn't last long. He fails to notice that behind him, his sister is teary-eyed, her lower lip quivering. You furrow your brows, about to say something, but the little girl beats you to it.

"You— you jerk!" Abby finally lets out, and you stand dumbfounded at the door, watching the crying girl. She turns to Mike. "I hate you!"

She runs off to some room somewhere and slams the door, the distant sound of sobs easily heard from down the hallway where you two stood. While you stood there in shock, Mike had grown used to these outbursts, but it didn't leave him entirely unfazed. There was still a tug on his heart like there always was.

"She's just having a moment right now," he sighs, his fingers rubbing his temples, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"You're not going to go and talk to her?"

"She hates me. Didn't you hear?"

"You know that's not true," you shove past him, your hand lingering on his shoulder for a moment longer which certainly did not go unnoticed, "come on."

"What do I even say?"

"You're going to go apologize, dumbass."

That's how he found himself standing outside his sister's door. He was about to simply walk in, until you stopped him, your hand on top of his as he reached for the knob.

"Knock first."

He would've asked why but he's too distracted by how your little touches keep making his face grow hotter, so he simply nods and does as you say, raising his fist to the door. He hears Abby's sobs halt the moment he does. He looks to you, and you nod, as if to signal him to start talking.

"Abs?"

There's a sniffle. "Go away."

"Look, I'm sorry for hurting you. Just open the door." You toss him a glare, "Please?"

There's a pause.

"Liar," she hisses, "you're only sorry 'cause they're making you."

Mike is about to retort, but you raise your hand to silence him.

"Abby, we both want to make sure you're alright. Could you please open the door so we can talk?"

There's a pause and then a shuffle, the sound of her moving from the floor to go and open the door. She's red in the face, snot-nosed and teary-eyed. Mike's heart can't help but break at the sight. He's an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.

"I-I'm not a baby," she blinks at Mike, lifting her arm to wipe her snot on her sleeve, "Y-you're always s-so mean to me. I hate that."

"I didn't mean it. I just, uh... I say stuff sometimes." He frowns, a trembling in his voice. He speaks softly as if it will compensate for all the harsh words spoken prior, "I promise I won't say mean stuff anymore. Honest."

"Pinky promise?"

She raises her pinky finger.

"Yeah. Pinky promise."

He raises his own, letting her little finger curl around his. She quickly wipes her tears away.

The rest of the day is spent doing whatever Abby wants. Mike discovers quickly that you seem to love spoiling her. You take her to the park, let her unpack all her toys and leave them tossed all around the house. You end up ordering pizza at her request, as well, and by the end of the day, she’s saying she wishes you were her older sibling instead. Though it’s said jokingly, it still pierces him through the heart.

The day ends with a tired Abby curled up in her sleeping bag on the floor of her room. Now he's with you, you sitting atop the counter at his side while he places the leftover pizza slices from the takeout boxes into ziplock bags. If he had it his way, the day would have ended with all the moving boxes being unpacked, but he supposes a happy Abby makes his life a hell of a lot easier than an unhappy one.

"She's a lot easier than most her age."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm the oldest ' kid ' in this neighbourhood. I've babysat for practically every family around here," you sip your drink, "she was very quick to forgive you. Not just any kid does that."

Garett had been the same way. Every prank he played, every cruel joke, he forgave him for because that’s just what older brothers do. The difference being that he was a child back then, not an adult. He may be Abby’s older brother by blood, but he needed to be more than that now. She needed him to be more than that.

He finishes packaging the last slice and throws the leftovers in the fridge. He's now fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie— a poor choice of clothing for the midst of a summer heat wave, but he didn't exactly have lots of options. He supposes he should add clothing shopping to his already long to-do list.

“What am I doing?” He says aloud, “I can’t do this.”

“Don’t say that.”

"This always happens. I get annoyed, she gets hurt, and it’s going to happen again.”

"Nobody's made for this at our age,” you gesture around at the house, then at him, “You're bound to fuck up, that's just inevitable."

"Yeah, thanks,” he deadpans.

"That’s not what I meant. You live and you learn, that's what you do. No one's perfect but we can always try.”

“What if me trying isn’t enough?”

“It’s better than not trying at all.”

He looks back down the hallway, at Abby’s door. Does she care that he's trying? Does she know how much he has sacrificed to give her a semblance of a normal life? He scoffs at himself internally. She's a child, of course she doesn't. That's not her fault. It’s not her responsibility either. She’s the kid, and he’s the adult now. It’s unfair on both sides but that’s the way things are.

"Thank you. For all the help, and everything," He finally says, turning to you.

"That's what neighbours are for, right?" You’re hopping off the counter. It was dark outside now, and fair to assume you’d be on your way home. Only, you halt in your tracks for a moment. "Wait, one more thing."

You pull out one of those disposable cameras from the pharmacy. It’s scratched and beaten up, evidence of its use. He freezes up when he feels your arm draping around him to pull him into the frame and snap a quick picture. He blinks from the flash, and you laugh at the way his eyes squint, shoving the camera back into your pocket.

"The hell?" He raises a brow, "that's going to be an awful one, just so you know."

"I don't care if photos look good. It's about the memories and all that." you roll your eyes, "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early. We're going to finish unpacking.”

You're out the door before he can even reply.

—

He starts to learn who you are, piece by piece. He learns that you don't know a single thing about keeping your curtains drawn shut and that you're completely oblivious to how he's seen you in your room in your pyjamas at night, talking on the phone while you twirl the telephone cord around your finger. He learns that you go to college out of state, which is why you're so insistent on taking photos of everything you can because you get homesick so easily. He learns, that because of that, he won't be seeing you after the summer for many months and struggles to figure out why that thought leaves a dreaded ache in his heart.

The ache only grows the more time he spends with you, whether it’s with Abby or one-on-one. He thinks he’s going to die when he sees you packing up your car at the end of the summer, but offers to help you out regardless.

"Have fun," he says to you, hating how disingenuous the words feel on his tongue.

Your car is now packed, and you're on the steps, him standing on the stone path below. You look up at him with a smile while you're lacing up your shoes. It's those damn shoes you always wear, always torn up and dirty and desperately in need of being replaced. He's not one to talk when it comes to proper footwear, but he swears they are only a thread away from being torn apart.

"I'll try."

You finish doing up your laces, and pull out a permanent marker from your pocket, handing it to him. He gives you a confused look.

"Sign it."

"What?"

"My shoe," you repeat, and he takes notice of your sneakers, varying names written along the white rim already, all in different colours and sizes. "It's something I've been doing since high school. Just to remember."

Knowing how you treasure your photos, it only makes sense to him now. He kneels down and signs it in the black marker, his handwriting atrocious, but evidently an effort to make it appear more legible than normal. He lets go of your ankle when he's done and you smile, raising it to look at his handiwork.

"I tried."

"Hey, it's not that bad."

"It's pretty bad."

You both laugh, and you stand up finally, stepping down to his level. He tries not to show his shock when he feels your arms wrap around him, pulling him tightly towards you. He happily accepts the embrace, soaking up the affection like a dried-out sponge.

"One last thing," you whisper to him, and he feels your hand slip something into his pocket. “Look at it later, ‘kay?”

"I'll miss you."

"I'll be back."

And though he wants to believe you will, he can't help but stare into your dark windows that night, counting down every day until your return. Not everyone in his life has, after all.

He checked his pocket the moment you left earlier that day. It was the photo of the two of you in his kitchen, from one of the first days you met. It was blurry and dark but he could make out the sight of your smile and his face of confusion. The back side has the date written.

He places the photo on his nightstand and rolls over on his back, staring at the Nebraska poster on his ceiling. He took his meds not long ago, his eyes drooping, but his mind unable to stay focused, his thoughts drifting towards you.

—

1996

The last time you called his home line, you said you'd be home in a few weeks, but he still hasn’t seen you yet. The light in your bedroom window remains turned off. He wishes the thought of seeing you again didn’t have him so restless.

Today is his birthday. A whopping twenty-one years old. If he were a normal person, he'd be out with friends, pouring liquor down his throat until he couldn't drink anymore. Instead, he went to work, then returned home late to greet the babysitter on the couch, her middle school textbooks sprawled on the coffee table and Abby already in bed. She’s gone the moment he hands her a twenty-bill, peddling away on her bicycle.

Though the house now has furniture, it still feels so empty. He sits alone on the couch, the sounds from the TV turning into a soft humming. He doesn’t want to think about the dirty plates in the sink or Abby's toys and crayons that littered the living room floor.

His heart skips a beat when he hears a knock on the door. He tentatively gets up, swallowing dryly. It couldn’t be you. You would have called him or said something, right? He’s never been so thankful to be wrong in his life because when he sees you standing there on his steps, in those torn-up sneakers with his name on them, with a six-pack of beer in your hands, he’s immediately grinning like a child.

"Where the hell have you been?" he looks down at the alcohol in your hands, "what's this?"

"A gift for the birthday boy," you grin, "twenty-one. That's a pretty big age."

"Are you twenty-one yet?" He raises a brow.

"You want the beer or not?"

"Alright, alright," he looks into the house, the place dead silent save for the TV. "Let's go out back. Abby has school tomorrow. I don't want to wake her."

Sharing the company of another had become so foreign to him at this point that he forgot how nice it feels to be human. To feel the summer breeze through the fabric of his t-shirt, to feel the condensation from the cold can drip down his fingers, to feel the warmth of the alcohol sitting nicely in his stomach. Hell, he doesn’t even mind how shit the beer you bought tastes, though the initial shock causes him to cough the moment the first gulp is downed.

"Don't tell me you actually waited until now to have your first drink," he hears you say.

"I didn't, but I don't drink that much. Especially not this," he eyes the brand name on the can.

"I was tired of college parties and all the watered-down shit alright? I needed something different."

"Must be exhausting . Getting invited to so many parties."

"Oh, shut it," you shake your head, "trust me, college is lonelier than you think."

He stares down at your sneakers, noticing that not a single new name has been written. One part of him wonders how anyone could not want to become your friend. The other part of him is proud that he’s the last person to sign it, his name standing out compared to all the other old, faded-out ones.

"That's one thing we have in common."

"I take it life's not so great, either?"

"Abby has been acting out less but now she barely talks.” He sighs, “It's... another thing to think about."

There’s a pause.

“Then don’t think about it. Not tonight.”

“Easier said than done,” he rolls his eyes.

"Come on, it’s your birthday and we’re out here moping on your back porch. That's no way to celebrate."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Something. Anything. I dunno, you're the birthday boy. What do you wanna do?"

"I..." his eyes trail down to your lips and stop. He knows he's being obvious but he's tired enough to where he doesn't really care anymore to hide it. He sees how your brows knit together, and he looks away. "I'm fine doing this."

"That's not what I asked." He feels your hand creep over to his, flat against the porch. Your touch is electric. He allows himself to look at you again. Your eyes are determined and your touch is intentional, he's sure. "I asked what you want ?"

Hesitantly, he lets his hand intertwine with yours. He's barely able to meet your eyes, embarrassed by his cheeks which he knew were most likely pink by now.

"I want you."

His other hand raises to your cheek, his cold hand against warm skin. His eyes speak to you, though his mouth says nothing, asking for permission. You lean in yourself, tired of his hesitation. You can taste the alcohol on his lips, his mouth so tender and sweet against yours. He's gentle and endearingly clumsy but above all else, he's desperate and he kisses you like you'll disappear the moment he lets you go. His hand is tighter around yours and the other that had first been against your cheek drifted to the back of your neck. You hear him let out a sound when your hand runs through the back of his hair and you're both pulling away, still craving something more.

"How much of me do you want?"

"So much," he gulps, "so much more."

There's a grin on your lips as you drag him by the hand, abandoning the half-drank beer cans as you enter the house. Careful not to alert Abby, who was sleeping next to his room, you both tip-toe down the hallway, unable to help the giggles that escape your mouths. Then, the moment you're in his bedroom, you're pushing him against the door, seizing his lips. You feel his abs under his T-shirt, realizing just what he had been hiding under all those hoodies last summer. You feel the warmth radiating from him, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. You smile against his mouth when you feel his hand at your waist, slipping under your top to fit right into the arch of your back. He's holding back, you can tell, and it only makes you want to fan the flames and let him burn even brighter.

You tug him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him towards the mattress until his legs hit the edge and he’s sitting, your body crawling on top of him. And, for someone who had been concerned about not waking his sister, he sure allows himself to make so many pretty noises. He pulls away for air once again and looks up at you like he worships you, his hands on either thigh while you lean your forehead against his own. He then lets out a laugh, still genuine, though hushed.

"What's so funny?" You murmur.

"This is the best birthday gift I've had in years."

"But you haven't even unwrapped me yet," you quirk your brow. "You said you wanted more, didn't you?"

"I did," he hums, his eyes dragging down over your body, shyly. "Still do. If that's what you want, too."

"You already know I do."

He brings his fingers to the hem of your shirt and slowly lifts it, your arms raising to help him slip it off. You feel yourself shudder under his analytical gaze, even though the night is sweltering. You feel the goosebumps rise under your skin as his fingers brush over your body as if to memorize every curve and texture with his fingertips. And though you had done your best to mask your inexperience all night, it became obvious to him, the moment you were squirming before him— topless— the truth.

"I've never done this before," you admit before he can ask you, feeling more vulnerable than ever as he stares up at you, the most anyone had ever seen of you beneath your clothing.

"That's okay," he tilts his head, big brown eyes looking right back at yours, "if it's okay with—"

"I've already told you it is. Everything is okay with me. Please. "

He nods, his hands reaching behind you, and you feel his fingers at the clasp of your bra. There's a flush on his face as he fumbles with it, brows scrunched as he tries to pull it apart. Then, it hits you. The look in his eyes, the uncertainty in his actions, the constant need for reassurance. He's been trying to hide it just like you were. Had your own mind not been so clouded, perhaps you would have noticed it far sooner. You reach behind yourself, hand brushing past his own to unclasp the bra yourself, before letting it slide down your shoulders. There's a glimmer in his eyes as he takes in your half-naked form, mouth parted slightly.

"You've never done this either, have you?" You ask, hands looped around the back of his neck as you seat yourself better in his lap. You try not to make a sound when you feel his erection through his gym shorts, pressed right up against where you need friction the most.

"Never," he manages to say, somehow. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"We'll figure it out."

You're kissing him again, and this time you're the one fumbling to remove his shirt, unable to properly admire his exposed body as his mouth is pressed against yours the moment the garment is removed. You feel yourself start to crumble at every little noise he makes, every little touch and grinding of his hips into yours. Then his mouth is trailing down your neck and his hands are on your breasts, his touch gentle but his lips hungry. You feel his lips suck on a particular spot on your collarbone and hiss, your fingers threading through his hair.

"You're gonna leave a mark.”

He pulls away, not quite sporting a grin, but the look in his eyes tells you he’s proud, regardless.

"Is that a problem?"

"Bastard," you retort.

With that, you're pushing him down until his back is against the mattress, leaving your own trail of kisses down his neck and chest, a flurry of butterflies in your stomach every time you hear his noises, and whispers of praise. You reach down for his shorts, tugging them down, this time you're able to get a better view of him beneath you. Your hand traces the outline of the muscles on his abdomen and chest, feeling your face heat up, again reminded just how built he was. As if he couldn't get any hotter, you notice the trail of hair leading from his belly button, disappearing beneath his boxers. You suck in a breath, your pupils blown wide.

“I'm gonna go insane if you don't touch me right now,” he says, allowing you to realize just how long you had been staring him down.

The words go straight through you, reminding you of your arousal between your legs, and how you were currently sitting right on top of his dick, the only barrier between you being each other's underwear. You rock your hips against him and hear him whine, your hands flat against his chest. It almost scares you how good it already feels, without having done much of anything at all.

"You have any condoms?" You ask.

"Yeah, think so," he stammers, his eyes darting towards his dresser.

You get up, feeling his eyes on your ass as you dig through the drawer, sifting through clutter. Momentarily, you smile when you find the photo you gave him last year— before returning to the task at hand. You find a condom buried at the very back.

"Were you prepared for this?" You tease.

"I don't think that far ahead. They’re free handouts from sex Ed, senior year."

"If you actually paid attention in that class, you'd know that condoms have an expiration date."

"I did pay attention," he says as you settle yourself back on top of him, the foil between your fingers. "They're not expired yet ."

"Yeah? What else did you learn?"

You suppress a yelp when you feel your position forcibly switched, your back now against the mattress with him hovering over you. The condom had disappeared into his hand.

"That you probably shouldn't be on top for your first," you feel his hand at your panties, brushing your clit over the fabric, "and that you're gonna need more foreplay than just dry humping."

You notice how he looks at you for approval before tossing your underwear aside, admiring how your slick coats his fingers. You'd touched yourself enough times before to know what this feels like but somehow, when it's him doing it instead of yourself, you already feel you'll fall apart at any moment. Your clit is swollen and your hole flutters around nothing as his fingers continue to tease you. Fortunately, he slips his middle finger in before you can scold him for being a tease— and fuck it's so much more than you're used to. His fingers reach inside you better than yours ever did you feel your mouth go agape, your hand reaching to clasp over your mouth out of fear your noises will echo through the mostly silent house.

"Mike," you plea, but to no avail, one hand still desperate to muffle your sounds while the other gripped the bedsheets.

“Is it… am I doing it right?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “please, don’t stop.”

You’d heard horror stories before from others, about how aggressive some men were with their first times. But you think Mike is the opposite. So gentle and considerate— uncertain and awkward, sure, but with a willingness to learn and try.

“Doing so well,” he whispers sweetly, “you’re so perfect.”

You're so close to reaching your high that you almost wish you could strangle him the moment he pulls away, leaning down to capture your lips into a kiss. You then hear the sound of the foil being torn apart and the feeling of his dick rubbing against your centre. Despite his smile, you notice the worry behind his eyes. He's terrified. So, you bring your hand to his cheek.

"I want this," you reassure once again.

He nods.

He slips the tip in and your body spasms, the intrusion feeling so foreign. He watches your expression change with each passing moment he spends pushing into you. He loves the way your lips part, how your lashes flutter shut. Loves how your brows scrunch together. All because of him. You’re so soft and warm around him and he’s struggling to cool himself down.

"So much," you comment, your eyes half-lidded when he finally bottoms you out, your bottom lip pulled by your teeth. He tries not to let the compliment get to him, otherwise, he knows he’ll be finishing faster than he wants.

"You're doing so good," he whispers, his hand intertwining with your own, "taking me so well. Can you keep doing that?"

You nod, and he whimpers, taking another thrust. Your nails are digging into his shoulder blades but he doesn't care. It’s another distraction, helping him hold himself together while you take him. He takes another thrust and nearly loses it when he watches you whine, tilting your face to the side.

“More,” you let out.

You feel every inch of him inside you, pressing against your most sensitive parts and though the initial discomfort hadn’t fully yet faded, you start to feel yourself getting lost in pleasure the more you accommodate him. You continue to drag your nails down his back, the knot inside of you growing tighter. You reach down to touch your clit, aching for more stimulation, but he’s quickly replacing your hand with his own, rubbing circles into you.

“So good.”

“Yeah?” He stammers out, finding it difficult to string words together in the moment.

“You feel so good, Mike.”

He didn’t realize how fucking hot it would be to hear you say his name while you’re fucked out like this until you do, and he feels himself losing a grasp on himself.

The feeling inside of you starts to snap and your body is thrashing around as you approach your high. He feels you grasping onto him like he’s your lifeline, shaking through your cries, which are muffled by your hand on your mouth. He, too, reaches his limit, and he’s burying his face into the crook of your neck in the hopes that he isn’t too loud.

All that’s left is the sound of both of you breathing when it’s over, and you hear him get up, throwing the rubber away. The bed dips at your side and you feel him on top of you again, head buried into your neck as he holds you. You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips, your fingers raking through his brown curls.

It's different from all the times you've touched yourself beneath your sheets in the dead of night. Instead of coming down from your high and laying your head against a cold pillow, your head is against him. You can feel every beating of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. You can feel the stubble on his chin and jaw tickling the crook of your neck. You're shaking, sweating and your whole body aches, yet you want nothing more than to lay here with him. And though you could have given yourself to some other person in college, you know it would not have been the same with anyone else other than the messy-haired brunette who lay atop you.

"Missed you so much," he whispers, "please stay?"

You stare at your house through his window, choosing not to think too hard about the view he has into your bedroom from this angle. Your family wouldn’t care.

"I'm here," you respond, pressing a kiss to his head.

#mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x you #fnaf x reader

391 notes · View notes

expectiations · 4 months

Text

Thinking of how "left me like a book on a shelf" is from River's POV and therefore does not mean it is the entirety of the story much like how "the Doctor does not and has never loved me" was uttered from a River who was grieving.

Like the Doctor could have spent a long time putting the TARDIS in stationary orbit around the Library. The Doctor could have puttered about with the Library from years before it was shut down to ensure that everything would go smoothly while doing his best not to change a single thing. And on days when it is too hard, he just stares at the Library from his perch on the TARDIS door. Waiting, hoping, thinking. Trying to find a way out for her. For them.

And he does!

He finds a hundred ways to get her out of the data core. But...something always goes wrong. It's somehow never good enough. She's back, but she's not entirely there.

So he scratches it out, slaps himself, and tries again.

And again.

But his plans always fail.

But they don't. Not really. His plans could work. Could have worked. His beloved Sexy would help him. She'd always help him when it comes to her Water. But he was too scared. Too frightened of failure. Because one single mistake. One. Single. Mistake. And she's gone. He can never get her back. Forever.

So he runs. And runs. And runs. Until centuries has gone by and companion come and gone. Until he met a younger, more alive version of her. And then they had Darillium. And oh the joys of wonderful joys, what a night that was.

But things end. Even for him. They had to part ways again. Had to say goodbye. So he tries again. Picks up what his previous self had shelved. He tries. Oh how he tries.

But still. That fear exists. Is it worth it? Can he finally accomplish what he'd started a literal lifetime ago?

(He doesn't.)

Off on another lifetime with a new body. He's a...she now? Oh and shorter! Wow. That's new! I wonder what Ri–

On the rare moments she allows herself to succumb to sleep she goes to their his her study. She takes a moment to take everything in. It's unrecognizable now – the study that once was theirs filled with warmth and laughter and-

Every single space was taken. Covered by plans of plans of plans spanning...two...lifetimes now. Sexy still kept it just as it was the last time he she had been in there.

Their His Her favorite throw was still where it was – on their his her favorite corner of their his her favorite couch.

Nothing had changed but everything had changed.

She curled up and buried her face hoping it would still smell of her (It did. They never knew how it worked but somehow her smell still lingered anyway. They thought they were hallucinating at first but other people had been able to smell it too. Sometimes they forget but Sexy also lost her too).

She was a he again. The same face they had four lifetimes ago. The same face who was the first to keep the memory of their meeting.

But wh- what? Why? How? Is this it? Is this the body that finally brings her back home? A fitting act really. He put her in there and so he'll also put her out of there.

But... she wasn't there. Nothing was there. Nothing but chunks of debris and ashes and smelted...somethings.

When he blinked his eyes open (when had he closed them?), Donna's worried face greeted him. He blinked again and blinked. Nothing changed. Everything has changed. He had waited for far too long. He had made her wait for far. too. long. He feared of failing her but now he actually has failed her.

Everything was bland now. Was it just him or is everything a bit...on the side of grey? Donna looks at him like he might break. (He won't. He's a Time Lord. Time Lords don't break.) Even Sylvia had taken to treating him a bit more kindly.

He goes off alone with Sexy. His return to the Noble-Temple (Temple-Noble) household becomes fewer and further in between. One day he finds himself in Venice. Wonderful Venice. His Pond and her Roman (who wasn't yet a Roman) had gone here. There were vampires. And running and –

River?

No silly. River wasn't there.

He blinked. And blinked again. Made sure the sky was blue and the clouds still fluffy white. But was that his leather jacket that just whizzed by past him? Wait. Hold on. That was... Was that? Oh no. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Did they? No. They couldn't have.

But of course, apparently they did. Because that was actually his leather jacket wearing self that just passed by him again(?) tugging along his very-much-not-dead wife along running from... Hold on. Why are they running? What- Who's shooting at her?!

#cues in iconic doctor who intro lmao #hi don't mind me. i'm just being my melodramatic PMS self #it's reaaally wonky i think but argh whatever just spitting out my grief and frustration. come to think of it i find words flow easier when #i am upset lol? hmmm what does that say about my high school self who used to write chapters with 1k as minimum.#it's difficult dealing with people who simply say river is just another one of the doctor's marriages so this is me dealing with it #i had trouble knowing where to stop and then thought OH why not put nineriver in but make it Post-Library River???#lmao and i ended it there because i needed to stop (i have 3 – THREE – exams tomorrow)#dw musings #that turned into a sort of fic ish #doctorriver #doctor x river #doctor who #tia talks tish #river song #eleventh doctor #tenth doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #ninth doctor #the doctor's wife #tardis #what other thing can i tag my sort of fic #tia writes tish #post-library river song #yowzah #i pond queue #11th doctor #12th doctor #10th doctor

64 notes · View notes

sunnyfucks · 2 years

Note

helloo my love i hope you're doing fine!! i have a request that you can totally deny if it makes you feel uncomfortable (which i seriously hope it won't) but can you write something about sunoo getting very turned on by watching one of his hyung during the dance practice or something like that and he gets the worst boner ever so he asks the reader (afab reader please 🥺 or female gender) to help him out with a handjob/blowjob. it's up to you if you want to end it up there or keep with the developing ☺️ i hope it's not too much to ask and that it won't make you feel awkward, i love your works and your audios omggg you're the best!!!!! 🥺💝

hello, anon! thankyou for the request <3 although idk if what i’d write would reach your expectations, but i hope you’d like it as much as i enjoyed writing this. xoxo!

“STUDIO ROOM” pairings: inexperienced enha member!sunoo x soloist afab!reader.

cw: SMUT, sunoo’s first time getting it down, sunoo’s kind of subby here, quickie, handjob, oral sex (sun receive!), marking, creampie, grinding, no use of protection, use of y/n to address reader.

it was a normal day at hybe. everyone’s working their asses off. pants and loud thuds of shoes can be heard everywhere as the group’s working hard for their new choreo. “this could be the hardest choreo we’ve ever practiced. i never thought something could ever top drunk dazed” heeseung, the ace of their group, muttered. everyone’s completely drenched in sweat. sunoo held his chest as he tries his hardest to compose his breathing, the earlier practice was rough on him too.

“are you sure about this, jay hyung?” jungwon’s concerned voice ringed around the dance practice room, gaining everyone’s attention. “ofcourse i am, its y/n we’re talking about.” jay answered, with a smirk evident on his face. “oh hoh, i don’t like that smirk growing on your lips” jake teased, completely knowing what’s going on inside jay’s sexy brain at the moment. “can you blame me?” jay bites back, making jake laugh in response.

“what’s going on? i don’t seem to catch things” sunoo, who is now wiping his sweat away, questions. everyone then looked at him as if judging him and he could only raise his eyebrow. “you didn’t read the gc, did you?” riki questioned back. sunoo huffed and furrowed his eyebrows, ready to deny and say some excuse he could think of but then, the door opened wide and it showed..

“hey, y/n!” jay calls.

sunoo felt his breath hitched as he saw you walk towards them, towards jay. your smile evident and it just made you 100x beautiful. “hey jay, you ready?” you mumbled and sunoo only watches in awe. “sunoo hyung, please close your mouth” the younger teased. sunoo only blinked and rolled his eyes in annoyance. “this is what you get when you don’t read the gc. you don’t know jay hyung’s going to practice for a special number performance with your crush.”

sunoo only heard two things. crush and practice with jay hyung. first, he never told anyone about his crush on you. out of everyone in enhypen, he’s also the most reserved. he doesn’t let his emotions eat him and that is one of his greatest strengths, no one can guess what he’s thinking. so why did jungwon said that? did he really heard jungwon said that or is he just hallucinating because he’s so distracted by your beauty? but other than that, he especially couldn’t let the second one pass that easily.

“what did you say? jay hyung’s what?” sunoo questions. jungwon shrugged as a “i knew it, he likes y/n” pass by his mind. sunoo’s raised brow and irritated tone that he might not notice’s way too obvious for an answer. its not like he’s against it, he’s also very happy that his sunoo hyung’s taking a liking on someone, but he doesn’t like how sunoo kept on holding it in when you’re most likely so down bad for the fox too. jungwon quickly ended the conversation by only placing his hands on sunoo’s shoulder and gave it a light tap. “they’re starting. close your mouth, hyung. you might droll. i need to go” he winks as he lets his manager take him along. sunoo only shaked his head as a smile crept up his lips.

the dance practice room felt more chilly as you asked a staff to dim the lights. sunoo watched as you fix your posture and your clothing, with jay standing infront of you. “sunoo, come here!” the younger turned his head towards his side, and there he saw his members sitting quietly on the side. he walked and sat beside sunghoon. “are you ready?” sunghoon teased. sunoo only furrowed his eyebrows as he doesn’t really know whats about to happen.

song recommendation : listen here.

as the song started playing, sunoo kept his eyes on you. the song was slow and sexy, and you walking seductively makes it 100x better. you have your fingers brushing on your top and because you’re swaying to the song, sunoo gets a perfect view of what’s underneath your thin shirt. jay walks up to you and something in sunoo suddenly snapped when he saw how jay wrapped his arms around your waist.

you and jay were both now swaying to the song, dancing your special number perfectly. “have they been practicing without us knowing? they don’t seem like its their first time doing this” sunoo heard heeseung mumbled. “i don’t think so. they probably practice this way too long ago. the way they moves are so in-sync says alot about it” sunghoon guessed. sunoo bit his inside cheeks as he stopped himself from thinking too much.

as the song goes on, with the dim lights making the room more chilly, sunoo watched jay closely. he’s hitting everything way too good. the way his arms is placed perfectly on your thigh, the way he grinds you to his body, the way he holds you close as you both pant heavily in each other’s faces, everything unfolding infront of sunoo’s eyes is way too hot for him to handle. he can’t help but think.. what if he was the one on jay’s position? what if he’s the one holding you while letting you grind on his body? what if he’s the one getting to touch your waist? what if he’s the reason you’re making all this lewd facial expressions?

sunoo cleared his throat as he shuffles awkwardly. he knows he’s getting hard down there and he can’t help but feel embarrassed. “whats wrong? you’ve been moving alot. you wanna pee?” sunghoon whispered, and the younger only shaked his head in response. sunghoon watched sunoo’s facial expressions after getting an answer on his question, and he can’t get anything other than a look of adoration for the person dancing infront. “if you like y/n that much, just make a move. its so obvious y/n’s a big simp for you too.” sunghoon teased once again as he lets his focus be back on jay and you again. sunoo on the other hand, sighed heavily as he grips his thigh. he doesn’t know what got through him, but as he kept watching you and jay, he grew a boner. and to make anything worse, he doesn’t know what to do because he’s not calming down at all.

as much as sunoo’s already having a hard time, he can’t help but be in awe with the position you and jay are now having. jay is sitting on the ground while you’re sitting on his lap, facing him. everyone can tell that you’re already on the moment as soon as a moan slipped past yours and jay’s mouth, making everything way more hotter than it already is. you started grinding on jay’s lap as a part of the choreo, with jay’s hand on your back to avoid you from falling. jay’s hand suddenly went up to reach your hair and when he did, he gave it a light pull, making you push your head back as the lewd expression you made flashed everyone watching.

sunoo can swear he can cum right there and then. he can’t help but fantasize about being on jay’s position and now he wonders how long the song would go. he wants to stand up, he wants a release.

he looked around and so he did.

getting out of the room without the members noticing his harden bulge was hard. but now that he’s inside a studio room near the practice area, he can’t help but be thankful he did what he did.

sunoo started panting as he grips his dick. he started slow and steady, with his eyes reaching the back of his head. he’s been keeping this to himself since the moment he got hard by watching jay dancing on you, and now that he’s touching himself, all he can think of is being able to release.

but for some reason, he can’t. he’s been shifting from going slow to fast to messy to steady just so he could edge and tease himself, but he can’t cum. he’s not reaching his high. desperate cries filled the studio room as sunoo tries his hardest to grip his cock tightly than ever. he wants to cum, he really wants to but..

10 minutes have passed, sunoo felt his left hand going numb. he doesn’t know the exact reason, but he can’t feel satisfied using his own hands. he kept on thinking about your mouth being slightly opened as you pant heavily, your plump ass jiggling as jay sways you to the music, your fingers brushing ever so teasingly on your skin... a moan slipped past sunoo’s mouth as he grips his hair while whining terribly.

“this cant be happening” he said in between his pants. and like the heavens heard his prayers, a knock on the door caught his attention. “sunoo, are you there?” you asked. sunoo felt his heart stop as he realizes what might happen if you found out what he’s been doing. sunoo wasn’t planning on opening the door at all, but you kept on knocking on the door it left him with no choice.

after fixing himself, he opened it and the sight made his dick twitch inside his pants. you have your hair wet, your eyes looks so hazy, and your hair looks so sexy because its too much of a mess. “sunoo?” you called out and sunoo cleared his throat. “w- what’s up, y/n?” he responded nervously, his voice was shaky and it made you chuckle.

“just wanna check up on you. you don’t seem okay when i saw you walk out the practice room” you truthfully answered. sunoo found his hand messing with his hair. he chuckled, “yeah im sorry about that. b- but oh! you and jay hyung danced so well! i like it” he compliments. you smiled and nodded, “you think so?”

“yeah. it honestly looks like this isn’t the first time you and jay hyung practiced that. it looks flawlessly amazing. the way you both sway your hips to the music, the steps going from hard to soft slow, the duality of your expressions.. when i was watching you both i actually felt hot. i honestly liked the way you grinded on jay hyung’s lap. the song fits the whole mood too.” he said, not stopping at all. you giggled and the shocked expression sunoo showed made you laugh more. sunoo placed his hand infront of his mouth and fake a gagged, “im sorry i talked to much-”

“why are you hard?”

sunoo felt like vanishing the moment he found your eyes eyeing his fresh from jerk dick that is very evident on his pants. “oh! hah” sunoo then tried his hardest to cover himself, but he felt like its too late, you already saw it. so what he did was gently grab your wrist and pulled you inside the studio room.

you won’t lie, you never expected the kim sunoo to make such a bold move, considering the fact that the studio room that you’re in’s not to far from the dance practice room. anyone can pass by here if they wanted to, and as much as the space’s soundproof, you can’t help but think about the fact the risk of getting caught inside with only sunoo.

you looked at sunoo as he only stands infront of you. he’s not meeting your eyes, so you slightly grabbed his chin and forced your way to his view. as soon as sunoo met your eyes, he felt his dick twitch again. and he decided that no matter how may this be so embarrassing, he won’t stand still and regret things anymore.

“c- can you help me out?” he asks, shyly. the ego boost it gave you is immaculate. a smirk crept up your lips and placed your hand slightly on his shoulder. “can you sit?” you ask, your voice sounding more attractive than ever. sunoo sat, gaze fixated on you. “what do you want?” you asked once again after setting yourself in between his thighs. you are sitting squated style infront of sunoo and the view is so hot and perfect for him. he never thought a day would come where he’d see your face being so close to his thing.

“i want to cum” he says, and you nodded.

sunoo’s breath hitched as you started tracing your fingers along his evident hard bulge. sunoo squirmed as soon as you placed your hand inside his pants, “already this needy?” you questions, your voice laced with so much ego. you looked up to meet sunoo’s eyes as you started pumping him slow, and its such a bliss that you can witness the pretty lewd expressions he’s making.

you’re only stroking his dick.. you’re not even hard at it, but sunoo feels like he reached a new level of heaven. this is his first time getting jerked off by someone else’s hands, and he can’t believe he’s been missing out on this. “p- please, please dont stop” he squirms. he feels like a slut, but he couldn’t care less.

the room soon started being filled with sunoo’s beg for you to not stop, that he’s so close.. he’s been gripping on his shirt ever since you started pumping him harder and faster. “w- why are you so good at this?” he managed to ask. he heard you huff and said, “its because you’re making it easy for me. you’re doing such a goodjob”

sunoo shakes once again. this is his first time doing this and he’s still not aware with alot of things, he sure has seen erotic stuffs but he never dived deep. he doesn’t understand where the feels are coming from, but your words and the way you say it makes him feel so little and it makes him feel so good. “i- i think im coming”

“you are? then cum.”

the moans sunoo made are so beautiful you felt yourself getting wet. unable to contain your growing lust anymore, you placed your mouth on his tip and immediately bobbed your head. sunoo’s moans grew more louder as you suck the shit out of him, “pull o..oh my god, please pull o-out! please pull out a- ah.. please pull-” as soon as you felt sunoo’s cum inside your mouth, you stopped moving and hollowed your cheeks more. what you did made sunoo more sensitive, making his release more than usual.

both you and sunoo were a panting mess the moment you sucked all of his seeds. “t- this is so embarrassing... but thankyou” he chuckled, and you only nodded your head as you stand up and started removing your bottom. “oh! what are you doing?” sunoo’s face is now a flushed tomato. lets just say he knows this will probably end up getting way more sexual, but he didn’t expect it to be this soon.

you weren’t talking at all when you pushed him back and made him lean back. “you’re welcome, now do me a favor and help me out too” you said. and without a warning, you sat on his dick and started grinding your hips. sunoo’s hand made its way to your thigh, gently squishing it. he can feel your core brushing against his dick, and its making him more needy.

sunoo placed his hands on your back as you found your arms wrapped around his neck. both panting heavily, you pushed your head back and sunoo saw the greatest view he ever saw in his years of living. his mouth watered at the sight of your neck, soon after, he found his lips placed on it leaving open mouth kisses.

the sensation of sunoo’s lips playing on your neck aswell as his dick brushing on your clit is something nothing can ever top. your moans grew more loud and messy as you grind harder. “you smell so good even after dancing that much” sunoo praised. its true, that’s because you prepared yourself before coming in here. you’ve always found sunoo hot, so when you caught a glimpse of his buldge when he stood up earlier, you knew you’re about to get it down.

“you feel so good, sun” the nickname made sunoo squirm under you once again. he felt your arms gripping his neck harder, and with your lips being dangerously too close to his ears, with your beautiful pants and moans, he sighed. its now or never. “can i fuck you?”

sunoo felt a boost of ego when he felt you squirm the moment the word slipped his lips, but his smile immediately vanished when you shaked your head. “n- no.. we’ve been here for too long, we can’t afford to make the members think about anything, do we?” you pant. you’re still swaying and grinding your hips, and sunoo’s mind flew elsewhere. “just make me cum with this and we’d call it done, mkay?”

“noooo~ please let me” he whines. “please let me, you’d let me, right? right??” sunoo kept on whispering near your ear. you know he’s teasing you and he knows damn well he’s winning. the satisfaction sunoo felt the moment you pushed down more is heavenly. you’re now completely sitting on his cock, one more move and it’d slip inside with how soaking wet you are.

as you felt your high coming, you grinded faster and moans filled the room. sunoo’s grip on your back tightened as he felt the need to cum too. “you feel so good, y/n. i can’t believe i’ve been missing out on this”

“fuck” you held sunoo close as you started grinding your clit to his tip. “feels so good” he muttered, cheeks flushed and sweat dropping. desperate for your release, you slightly stood up and grabbed sunoo’s member. “you’re going all in?” sunoo asked, he couldn’t believe. you nodded your head and sunoo felt a new heaven when he felt your hot core sucking him in.

you on the other hand didn’t waste a time, as soon as you pushed everything in, you started bouncing up and down on him. sunoo shaked as soon as you did and this time, you’re the one placing your lips on his neck.

sunoo doesn’t how does it feels for someone to give you a hickey, so when he felt your lips sucking a part of his neck as you bite it after, he hissed. “w- what are you doing? it hurts” he admitted. you smirked and started sucking more of his skin, “but its the kind of pain you’d enjoy, right?” you teased and smashed your lips on his.

who cares about breathing at this point? your fingers trailed upon sunoo’s hair as he pulls you forward to deepen the kiss. the wet sounds from your makeouts, skin slapping, and marking are all now combined along with your loud whines and moans.

sunoo’s the first one to back out the kiss as he lets out a very long and desperate moan, “i- fuck im gonna cum, y/n..” he whines. “please don’t stop!” he pleaded. you nodded and gathered all your strength so you can give your best shot and not let your thighs and legs give up. “you wanna cum inside?” you ask, and a nod from sunoo is the only thing you needed before capturing his lips on yours.

sunoo lets out the loudest and sluttiest moan he could ever make after letting his seeds shoot inside you. he can feel you clench around him, and he’s the proudest. after catching both of your breaths, sunoo gave you the sweetest smile and gave you a playful peck on the lips.

( a/n: safe to say sunoo asked for a round two. )

“where is he? we already need to go home, i’ve been calling but he’s not answering” jungwon worriedly uttered. they’ve been looking for sunoo ever since the dance practice for y/n and jay ended, but its been an hour and he’s still not coming back. “didn’t he say he’d only pee? its been an hou-”

“sunoo! where have you been?!” sunghoon slightly shouted, not because he’s pissed, but because he’s worried. “oh?” sunoo raised his eyebrow. jungwon then noticed how sunoo’s basically limping and sweaty. “what the fuck happened to you, bro?” jake worriedly asked, and the younger could only smirk and shrug.

“i was in the studio room, i fell asleep. im sorry” sunoo excused. mind still hazy from what occured earlier. sunghoon laughed in disbelief. “did you have fun, tho?” sunghoon’s voice is laced with pure tease and the younger failed to notice. “no, that’s why im so tired. lets go home? im sorry for making you guys worry”

sunghoon chuckled, “your hickies says otherwise tho.”

#sunoo smut #sunoo hard thoughts #sunoo hard hours #enhypen smut #enhypen sunoo smut #sunnyfucks

651 notes · View notes

tiredfuxkingboy · 5 months

Text

i never told anyone about this, i just want to vent, sorry for the spelling mistakes cuz english isn't my first language..

can someone tell me what they think about this please?? idk

when i turned 13, my older sister started to cut herself. We were on quarantine, 2021, so we were home all day everyday.

so, in 2021 she started to cut herself, and she made me know it. I always saw the cuts in her legs because her shorts were too short or things like that..

She used to put her razon inside her phone case, and sometimes i threw to the trash other razors she had, trying to make her stop or something, but then she would go to me and look at me badly and complain to me without saying what it was but telling me things like "you did it" or things like that.

That year i started cutting myself too, I really wanted to die. The second or third time I did it with a cutter that I found somewhere. When I came out of the bathroom after cutting myself, my older sister said "welcome" to me smiling, like making fun of me or i don't know.. it was so surreal. I guess she saw that the cutter wasn't where it always was, so she assumed i was cutting myself and she was right. But I don't understand why she would tell me that, I would never do something like that, especially if I had a younger sibling, , it just doesn't makes sense

One time she took a new cutter from a box somewhere in my house, she put it in his pocket and started telling me that she was going to swallow one of the razors of the cutter, that she was going to kill herself with the other, and I don't know what else, she said that to me jokingly as if it was funny. it was so horrible.. one time she called me to bring her a shampoo upstairs and when i opened the door she grabbed the shampoo from my hand with her uncovered arm full of cuts. Showing them to me.. then she closed the door and i went downstairs to cry and whatever. So much more things like that happened.

That whole year I tried to have the courage to tell my parents that my older sister was self-harming, but I never could, I never had the courage. All year I saw how she went into the bathroom for a long time, cutting herself, and then she came out looking depressed. I almost always knew when she cut herself and i couldn't do anything, i didn't know what to do, i literally couldn't do anything, i didn't know how to do it. How to help, nothing. I wanted to do something and i never could.

That year i tried to kill myself many times, and none of them worked. Other mental problems appeared that year, such as DID and others, and I had hallucinations almost every day. i used to cry every day, i cried when I woke up because I didn't want to live, i used to overdose with pills a lot, i felt anxious every day without stopping for a single second. Also in 2022, less than a year later, I couldn't remember when it had happened or how much time it happened, everything had been blocked due to the trauma and it was so horrible. To this day I still have those problems

My older sister stopped cutting herself at the end of 2021 because my mom found out she self-harmed, so she had to stop. When my mom found of she was doing that, she made everyone worry about her and told me that we had to help her, but she never cared about me in the same way, but whatever

I'm really happy that she stopped cutting herself, but I still can't stop self-harming and I'm covered with scars over both my arms and legs, scars way much worse than the only ones my older sister has. and no one cares to make me stop, everyone knows and it's like no one cares.

But whatever, I hate myself too much for this and I will never forgive myself for what i did. I hate myself so much and I hate my 13 year old self so much for being so fucking stupid and useless, i can't get this out of my head

30 notes · View notes

karasbroken · 2 months

Text

Ok, there is zero reason for this story to be 34,000 words. I need a beta! And to outline my fics so I don't wander around for three chapters trying to decide what to do. I actually wrote the ending first, and then had to throw it away because it didn't fit. Probably it would also help to write the whole thing first and then post it.

But will I do any of those sensible things? Odds are low.

Unlike last time, this fic suffers from too much plot. John and Aeryn wrangling over attraction and loneliness mostly gets overridden by asteroids strikes and commerce stations. I wrote action! And lots of unnecessary slice-of-life space stuff. I was trying to explore Aeryn feeling more able to invest in John because she starts to believe he isn't about to leave at any moment. Then half way through she decides to leave instead. I cannot control these people. Lucky Pilot and guilt get me back in the direction of canon.

I don't know, I actually like some of this. So read it if you want. It's ok.

Rating: T | Word Count: 34,321 | Chapters: 6/6

Tags: Post-"Rhapsody in Blue", Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violent Thoughts, Loneliness, Angst

“It was hard, Livy, seeing her like that.”

Aeryn heard John's voice in enough time to stop before the sound of her footsteps could carry to him. The name meant he was talking to his magnetic recorder again, not any of the Moyans. O’livy’a was the name of his younger female sibling—sister— Aeryn made herself think the colonial word. There was always a warmth in how John talked about his family that felt incompatible with the precise terms of galactic Sebacean. In English, it sounded inappropriately like a hiss, sisistr. She wondered whether the word for brother was similarly sibilant. The only time they’d talked of brothers, she had been too distracted to pay attention.

”I mean, what a mind frell—” Crichton stopped himself with a bitter laugh, “They’re getting to me. A mind frell,” he emphasized the word, one of the few profanities that had a perfect translation, though his English version was harsher to her ear, more violent.

“I thought I was going crazy, I mean, of course I did! But the worst part— is that it felt so right. So good. The idea of having someone else with me, dealing with this crazed frelled-up situation together— of just… not being alone…” John’s voice dipped and fractured, and he lapsed into silence.

Aeryn heard the click of the recorder being stopped. Was he talking about her? She hadn't thought he was there for any part of her humiliating collapse. To be rendered completely ineffective by mere hallucinations was bad enough when witnessed by Pilot and D'Argo. It was somehow worse to have the habitually incompetent human see it too.

But no, his words didn't seem to match that. They had not been together facing the rogue Delvians; that had been the problem. He'd been on his own.

The button clicked again. “It took me arns to figure out that Alex wasn’t real. Actually, I never figured it out. The priestess just let me go. Until then, I believed it all. That Alex joined Ayahsa with me instead of going to stanferd. That she was on the Farscayp project with me. That she had been my copilot when I got sucked down the wormhole….”

Alex. That wasn't a name she remembered from John’s many many stories. Someone he knew from his past, but didn't talk about. Until now, when he was clearly upset. That made her eavesdropping seem uncomfortably invasive.

Crichton was probably tucked into a niche just around the bend of the corridor. This hall, like many others, had begun to narrow and curve more dramatically in the last few weekens. But it still gave access to a window sheltered by an arching column where John liked to sit and watch space. Aeryn could continue on, greet him, ask him to help with the survey she was starting again, as she’d intended when she first went looking for him. It felt as if she'd just completed a full tier review, but Moya's internal structures seemingly changed every day. The work might be a distraction for him.

Or she could go back the other way, down a tier, or up, to find a new path around the apparently growing hangar that sheltered the ship’s child. She could leave Crichton to talk to his ghosts alone....

#farscape #Farscape fanfiction Fridays #fanfiction #series: unfamiliar idioms #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own #john x aeryn #john/aeryn #john & aeryn #pilot #fanfiction fridays #aeryn sun #john crichton #my writing

14 notes · View notes

attackfish · 9 months

Note

Can you do more of the Lu Ten back from the dead AU?

That describes more than one AU of mine, so I have chosen the one where Zuko is brainwashed by the Dai Li, and while under Lake Laogai, finds his cousin. Continued from: [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], [Link], and [Link].

Aang wakes up, with, what must be said, is perfect, and perfectly awful, timing. Lu Ten is just about to make his escape, when the Avatar opens his eyes and starts having a freak out about being on a Fire Nation ship, and about how he failed to save Ba Sing Se from being conquered by Azula (Azula? His little cousin, Azula? That Azula? Conquered Ba Sing Se?) So of course Lu Ten does what all good little Fire Princes do, and tries to follow him, because that's the Avatar! He should capture him and take him home to the Fire Nation, and come out of his captivity covered in glory! His father and grandfather will be so proud.

So of course when Aang ends up stuck on some driftwood and washed ashore by the kindly Moon Spirit, Lu Ten ends up washed up, half drowned, on the beach with him. And he's still half drowned and wondering if he really saw the Moon Spirit, or just hallucinated that bit, when the Avatar's friends show up. After the hugs and reassurances, the question quickly becomes what to do with Lu Ten. The problem of course is several fold. 1) he is a danger, because he just tried to pull a Zuko and kidnap Aang. 2) He was pretty useless about it. Zuko could have done better in his sleep. This shows that Lu Ten is still kind if not fully with it, and kind of needs to be taken care of. 3) And Lu Ten's dad is in prison for helping them-

Wait what? His dad is in prison for helping the Avatar and a bunch of teenage enemies of the Fire Nation? His cousin Azula, who last he checked was eight, conquered Ba Sing Se? His cousin Zuko, who is ten, which is, he supposes, not much younger than the twelve year old Avatar, but still ("I'm pretty sure I'm thirteen now, actually, I mean dates are weird with the whole being frozen for a hundred years thing, but...") is not only trying to kidnap the Avatar on the regular, but is apparently doing pretty well at it ("uh, we wouldn't go that far... Also Zuko's sixteen, and Azula's like, fourteen, we think? It's not like she told us.") Oh okay, Zuko is sixteen. He was captive for six years? Six years? Oh. Oh okay. Okay. Wait, who had his dad imprisoned? What do you mean Firelord Ozai? How did Uncle Ozai become firelord if his dad is still alive?

What the Avatar and his companions tell him is confused and disjointed, but what what explaination he does get paints a bleak picture, especially when they tell him that both his father and his cousin said that Ozai, and/or Azula would probably kill him if they found out he was alive. Lu Ten has no idea what to do, and finds himself trailing along after a bunch of teenagers ("Toph's twelve") by default. And when one of those teenagers ends up being dragged off to school, and then getting in trouble at said school, and having to have a parent teacher conference, Lu Ten is the only adult in reach. He works out in his head how much older he would be than his supposed son. If the Avatar is thirteen, and Zuko is sixteen, and Zuko was born when LunTen was ten, he would have been a father at thirteen himself.

Fortunately for everyone involved, six (it's six, right? Wow.) years of captivity have aged Lu Ten beyond what is expected, and he looks far beyond his twenty-six years, old enough to pass as Aang's father. He does his best with stolen clothes and his reflection in a pool of water in the cave they've been hiding in. The Dai Li kept his head shaved, and it's only had a little time to grow out into a spiky fuzz all over his head. He looks like a disgrace, his topknot shorn, the delinquent father of a delinquent son. But it's the best he can do. He isn't exactly surprised when the principal threatens his "son" with being sent to the coal mines. He also doesn't believe a word of it.

After Aang holds his little dance party, amd they all have to run out of town, he finds himself on the road with a pack of children, and is baffled by how many "adventures they find themselves in, impersonating spirits (a Fire Nation town shouldn't be in this kind of squallor!), getting taught by Piandao (who Lu Ten stays well away from, since Piandao could recognize him), dodging assassins, and running into secret waterbending blood witches. That last one was horrifying in so many different ways. She wanted... She tried to kill him. She tried to force the others to kill him. She... Was, at least on some level, a captive like him.

And at the end of it all, when they meet up with the ragtag "army" heading to storm the Fire Nation capital, he hears about the eclipse. And he decides that while the rest of them are trying to take on Ozai, he's going to spring his father. So, he slips away during the fighting and heads for the capital prison tower. Hopefully that's where his father is being kept. And Lu Ten might not have Zuko's ability to break into and out of almost anything, but it hardly matters, because he has barely made it inside when his father, having broken himself out, runs into him, and they leave together.

All this means is that when Zuko (who never did tell anybody about his cousin being alive, which is going to make his tearful reunion with his uncle and cousin a little less awful) shows up to the Western Air Temple, the Gaang is short one Fire Prince. And now they have a new one. Yay! And once he starts to become friends with them, they've got a whole bunch of questions about just what exactly is going on with his family. And yeah, the answers he gives are, well, they are... Wow, Zuko, no wonder you're so messed up!

#avatar the last airbender #lu ten #zuko #aang #sokka #posts i created #did you want to ask a question it doesn't have to be a question #brave soldier boy doesn't come marching home #zuko is a dweeby little turtleduck #i ship Iroh/tea #sokka the meat and sarchasm guy #aang d'awww #katara is the answer #a little toph love

27 notes · View notes

ruiniel · 3 months

Text

Hallucinating about Kokushibo again (II)

In the first part I wrote on how the stress of expectations affected both Yoriichi and Michikatsu. They were close, and despite Michikatsu(as Kokushibo) remembering he felt pity for his brother more than anything else, he went out of his way to show him kindness in the small ways a child could. Even if he despised Yoriichi’s presumed ‘weakness’ when his younger twin still didn’t speak, I think this was also a product of their adult guardians’ beliefs.

Michikatsu especially became so absorbed in training and preparing to become a leader that he lost the mental and emotional awareness to spare for all else around him, such as his brother’s personality and honest admiration towards him (which he found unsettling) or their mother’s failing health. Yoriichi, on the other hand, still had the stigma of a marginalized member of the family and only when he exhibited an innate speed and reflexes was the spotlight turned on him—which, as we saw, he didn’t really care about as much as Michikatsu did (as an example, when Yoriichi mentions he’d rather play board games or fly a kite with his brother than talking about the sword).

Thinking of it this way: you’ve been working hard your whole (short) life to reach a goal, and someone, arguably the being closest to you, suddenly surpasses you with little effort or intent. The instinct is to turn defensive, to harbor intense inadequacy and that was exacerbated by the perceived shame and dishonor in failure at the time. I see it as a cognitive dissonance and emotional incongruity that broke something (a balance) inside Michikatsu which never healed: he loved and admired his younger twin brother, he hated his own perceived lack of skill to meet expectations as well as Yoriichi, and so struggled with this love and the sickly jealousy that would follow him for the rest of his life.

When Yoriichi left after their mother Akeno passed, Michikatsu felt relief since he could fulfill the role expected of him. He found out Yoriichi knew of their mother’s illness and that their father wanted to make him heir instead—and left earlier than planned. Why? It was clearly not something he wished for, nor was retreating in a temple to become a priest. Yoriichi left to not be in the way and to find his own life ‘under the infinite expanse of the beautiful sky.’ This must’ve been another source of confusion for his brother.

Michikatsu in the meantime mentions 10 years going by, and while he was 'blessed with a family' those were harmonious yet rather 'boring' days. His father dies soon after he marries, his mother is long gone, and Yoriichi has disappeared. As far as Michikatsu knows, he's alone but for his spouse and children. As a samurai he sees war and battle during this time and most surely is a retainer with sworn loyalty to a daimyo (feudal lord). He likely earns a rank in the military, and kills people, not demons, following the way of the warrior. Going over military office ranks, at the moment I like to headcanon that he may have been a 'kogashira':

Taisho - ranked officials, generals of the daimyo's military, taking control of units of troops called kumi. Depending on their troops, they were either referred to as Samurai-taisho or Ashigaru-taisho.

Kumigashira - officers who controlled a kumi of troops, and were called samurai-kumigashira or ashigaru-kumigashira depending on the make up of their kumi.

Kogashira - lower ranking officers that serve under and assist the ashigaru-kumigashira. Depending on its size, a kumi may have several kogashira. Each has direct command over a smaller squad of individual ashigaru within the unit.

This was the life he’d wanted, the life he’d prepared for. I think he was the type of character who didn’t shirk away from his duties and did his best by people who depended on him. I think he cared for his family for as much as he was capable of doing. But all of this? Kokushibo says his life was tranquil and that the flow of time was extremely slow. Something was missing. Now comes the headcanon time: could it be that he was more alike Yoriichi than he thought? He only fought to win to lead a clan and be a samurai as his forebears because that was imposed on him, but as we see, it was not enough.

It’s only when he and Yoriichi meet again that Kokushibo recalls ‘his serenity being destroyed’ and that once again ‘his stomach burned with jealousy and hate’.

Thinking about it: no matter how many times Kokushibo says he despises, hates, and wanted to kill Yoriichi, he remembers his brother as ‘someone intense and vivid who burns everything… like the Sun.’ He never turned his animosity into actions against his brother, never raised a weapon on Yoriichi until he had to, and that was because Yoriichi attacked him out of duty.

But for now Yoriichi was alive, the only person Michikatsu knew who could surpass him in everything still walked this earth and crossed his path again, and time was no longer stagnant for him. He felt alive and a strong desire to reach the same heights. His peace might have been destroyed that night, but how strong must a feeling be to make everything you’ve achieved and fought for pale in comparison? I think it was envy but also love that drove him to drop it all and join Yoriichi’s side. Abandoning one’s family, their lord and role in society was not a negligible decision. It was not something you could just do without repercussions, yet he did it anyway. And maybe deep down if he could have, Michikatsu would have joined Yoriichi in running away all those years ago.

More rambling in part III

#having opinions again my liege #kokushibo #michikatsu tsugikuni #demon slayer

10 notes · View notes

whatdoessunshinetastelike · 2 months

Text

the first five nights at freddy's game was one of the first things i remember seeing when i was younger that gave me a feeling similar to those that "liminal space" photos give off

this shot of pirate cove in particular was one of them

the star pattern felt like something i would have seen somewhere as a baby or something

also cold take ik but the animatronic designs from the first game were some of the absolute best in the series

they manage to look like they could be animatronics from an actual children's establishment during the 80s or 90s like they look friendly on stage (this is one of my favorite fnaf images of all time)

but with different lighting and just the right angle they are creepy as shit (i know this image has been memed to death but it is still freaky on its own i mean the later games can barely ever come close to this)

and these two sides of them manage to coexist. their creepiness FEELS like it could have been unintentional. they're not too cutesy to not ever be scary at all but also not overdone to the point where they just look goofy and unconvincing (looking at you, FNaF Plus)

they remind me of the Cyberamic style of animatronics from chuck e cheese where they look cartoony and cute to some but unsettling to others (as a cec/rock afire fan myself i can understand both sides)

also another cold take that i really agree with: another part of why the first game was so cool is because of how subtle the lore was

i'm not trying to be all "WAAAAAAHH BOOO THE OLD DAYS WERE BETTER THE FNAF STORY SUX" because i don't hate the story (at least in the older games) and i don't at all disagree with the choice to flesh out the story more. it was a necessary part of continuing the title at that point and turning it into a series (also, people probably wouldn't still be talking about it today)

but part of what made fnaf 1 so intriguing is that you knew nothing. you didn't KNOW who these characters were. you didn't KNOW the history of the company, or anything about those involved in creating it. you didn't KNOW if the place was really haunted or if you were just hallucinating. hell, you didn't even know much about phone guy, YOUR ONLY COMPANION, other than that he Worked In That Office Before You at some point (who knows how old those messages really were?)

the only real hints of a backstory you get are things phone guy mentions OR the chance to catch a rare glimpse of the newspaper clippings in the east hall corner

even going into freddy's knowing nothing, you can tell it's pretty run down. there is garbage all around the office and hallways, cobwebs under your desk and in the doorways, weird grime covering the walls, and clumps of wires hanging from the ceiling. multiple of these aspects can be seen in that one above image.

all of that combined with the ambient noises (the ghostly wind-like sounds, weird random knocking, distant carousel music to name a few) work to give you a sense of dread. the whole building felt haunted, not just the robots. even if you haven't read about the tragedies or heard from phone guy, you might still get the sense that something terrible happened here.

but there is one thing you do know: Fazbear Entertainment is a shady, deplorable organization. five children lost their lives to a sick individual, and they stay open. company's gotta survive, after all. assuming foxy (or any of the others) did the Bite of '87 (we are looking at a fnaf 1-only universe here) they just keep it in the building and don't bother to even remove the contraption that took out someone's brain.

and of course if you, the employee who has to look after this dumpster fire of a pizzeria, get hurt or killed on the job, to quote phone guy: "A missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced"

i think that quote speaks for itself

(i despise how they made the sketchiness and apathy of the company over-the-top in an effort to be funny in the later games i much prefer it being a little more subdued like this but i am getting back into boomer complaint territory so blagh)

this post is getting MUCH longer than i expected it to so here is a small list of Little Things i love about fnaf 1 that add to its overall feel that doesn't really carry over to the other games

the groaning noises sometimes made by bonnie and chica when they reach your office. what is that exactly? is it their voice boxes or whatever else inside them breaking apart? or is it the ghosts? what if those kids are still fucking alive?

the "IT'S ME" phrase that appears relatively often during gameplay. what does that mean? who is trying to talk to us? is it the ghost of someone we know, like phone guy? or one of the kids? did we know one of the kids?

the whole power outage sequence. still chilling

the foxy attack sequence. you're just playing normally when suddenly this animatronic you've never even seen before runs down the hall and pops into your office to kill you. even though the scare really only works once it's still well-done

the fact that we know nothing about our protagonist. it works in this game because it raises several questions that could be asked. who is mike schmidt? why does he keep coming back to freddy's, even though he knows it's deadly? does he want answers? or is he just that desperate for money? is he familiar with freddy's? did he know someone involved? was he the killer?

ditto but for the killer himself. back then, we didn't read about him in the paper and think of the mad scientist furry who co-founded the restaurant and built robots that killed his kids. we read about him and wondered who he was. are we him? or was it phone guy, our only friend? was the person they arrested really him, or is he still out there? and most of all, why did he do what he did?

what the hell was golden freddy? hallucination? ghost? nobody knew

the fact that foxy's eyes are always glowing while the others don't. this has no significance i just think its neat (this is true for all his future appearances too i think)

idk how to conclude this so here are some more pics that i find creepy. happy 10th anniversary fnaf heres to another 10 years of fantasy and fun

(can you tell i find chica the scariest)

#this took too long to write #five nights at freddy's #fnaf 1 #fnaf #fnaf 10th anniversary #freddy fazbear #bonnie the bunny #chica the chicken #foxy the pirate

8 notes · View notes

rodolfoparras · 2 months

Note

Dude it's so sad, because I know Mrs. Voorhees loved her son soo much and Jason loved her too, he literally hallucinates her during some of the movies and uses her voice to guide him.

In the second movie where Jason is the killer, one of the girls finds his cabin and finds Mrs. Voorhees decaying head and her bloody sweater and fucking put on the sweater to manipulate Jason into not killing her😞

In another movie, this boy was obsessed with Camp Crystal Lake and Jason's death, and when Jason was trying to kill him and his older sister, he shaved his head bald and shit to make Jason think he was seeing his younger self ☹️

Ik they do it to survive a serial killer 😭 but it's a little fucked up imo

With the Leatherface, he wears his mask because of his deformities and because he was so bullied during school. Luda Mae loved him and worried about him all the time.

"Taking the child as her own, she brought him back to the Hewitt residence and presented him to Mr. Hewitt who declared that it was the "ugliest damn thing" he had ever seen. Luda May thought that he was beautiful however. She named him Thomas and raised him as her own son."

With the meat factory, it was probably the only job he could get with his disabilities at the time, but he loved it too. Butchering was "all he was good at" because of his behavior as a kid where he'd capture, kill, and skin the hide off of small animals. When the factory closed, he refused to leave and winds up killing the manager because he tried forcing him out.

I love these two so much, especially Jason. My favorite Jason artist is dukesnukes on here, pleeeaaaase go check him out. He has a bunch of really cool ocs too and I think you'd enjoy. He has the best design for Jason imo, you should check his twt (dukes_nukes) out too 🫶🫶🫶

-🐧

Nooo that’s so heartbreaking :(( especially when she’s probably the only person that truly loved him genuinely ppl make way too cruel backstories to their characters 😭

I mean in a way I do understand why she did that bc she probably wanted to survive 😭 but I also see the wrong in tampering with what remains of his moms belongings and playing tricks on practically a heartbroken kid:(

Wait but where do they get this ideas from;!!33! I mean I guess I can understand wearing his moms shirt (even though realistically that’s a silly strategy ) but who thinks of shaving themselves bald in hopes of surviving a killer😭and it’s kind of sad bc obviously the dude has both mental and physical disabilities:( like it won’t take much to trick him

I have to admit I absolutely love stories where you have a couple, ones a grumpy old man who dislikes the accidentally adopted kid and the other is a woman who absolutely loves the kid idk it’s strangely comforting? Like the ppl she loves and trust repeatedly point out the flaws on the kid yet she’s like that’s okay I can love them anyway reminds me a lot of courage the cowardly dog I used to absolutely love the grandmas love for courage

Well you know what? If he loved working there bc he felt it was the only thing he was good at then I 100% am for him working there 😤

I will definitely check it out sugar bee thank you so for the tip!!!

#alec answers #🐧 anon

8 notes · View notes

punklorde-hunter · 6 months

Text

So 2.1, just like the previous patch SO much happened, and To no one's surprise, It blew everything we saw in 2.0 out of the water! And since i did something similar during 2.1, I'd thought it make sense to do the same for the next part. So without further ado!

Spoilers under the Cut!!!!

Of course the start of 2.1's story has to end right where we left off, in the room where we found Robin's dead body O_O. But i like the direction they go, where after we split off form Aventurine and meet with the Express, we get to see multiple POV's, kinda like how they did with Dan Heng on the Luofu but more complex. And man did it work wonders!

While I know there were people meming and a bit disappointed Duke Inferno never got to appear in game, I did like that Acheron at least remembers his last stand. Man stood by his principles and went out fighting (even if he' prob won't be playable)

I also like how they handled Acheron & Welt together. Like I said before never got to play Honkai Impact 3rd, but I did get to read a lot of the supplementary material like Second Impact, so it was nice to see that side of Welt from there. And that's while Acheron isn't his Mei it's nice they shared a kinship

What a fun Greek Myth ref to match the HI3 Ref

I got nothing to add to this the sand pit was hilarious as hell! The NPC walking into walls and clipping into floors made me lose it. The devs had way too much fun in that area lmao.

Siobhan give em one more chance 🥺

the straight Up Pikachu ref sdjaldsadkklds

The little detail of Aventurine's & Dr. Ratio's shoes was pretty cute, the lil' spades on Aventurine's sole and Ratio's sandals, it's nice!

Nice Unlimited Blade Works ref there Star Rail

This next parts more on the serious side, so I'll give a little heads up that rest of the post is prob about to touch on really dark topics like Enslavement, genocide, su1c1de, and not so nice things like that so be warned.

So,

Aventurine / Kakavasha's backstory....

there's so much I could say but they really did a excellent job fleshing out his character. From how he was "lucky" from birth but everyone he ever loved wasn't so lucky, how his reckless gambling with his life was there even as a kid, him feeling he's never been truly free only going from one master to another, mans got trauma and it's no wonder he thinks everything comes at a cost.

I haven't seen a lot of post about the part where Kakasvasha says his last goodbyes to his sister, right before the Narration explains that the small rebellion ended in the Avgin clan's extinction (it's vague if the Katacins survived, but considering how the story paints them, not many people are gonna miss them). over 6,000 deaths and over ,000 casualties, all on a planet that was barely survivable. And while his sister sends him off after one final prayer to Gaithra Triclops, it left him alone with no one, and we know how he ended up afterwards.

Not to mention the fact even when Aventurine killed his old master by STRANGLING HIM WITH CHAINS, he would've been arrested by the IPC had Jade not taken an interest in his bet. Man has been through it. No wonder he recklessly bets his life in gambles, it was either that or he dies.

Speaking of reckless gambling, the entire sequence after Sunday does his Harmony suggestion we get that oh so nice interactions with the young Aventurine and his shadow the true self other Aventurine that rags on him the rest of the way. The shadow Aventurine lays it in him that underneath that bravado is a man whose so scared to lose more and yet doesn't care if his own life gets taken in the process since all he has is that. Not even with all the money in the universe. Dr Ratio's "betrayal" was supposedly an act, but he still thinks on some level the doctor hates him and it was real, he has no one to confined in or anything.

But with the younger self it's different. The way his young self still has light in his eyes, how in the hallucination he's at the theme park with his family, who are dead. First he denies that there are any Avgins since they were all dead right? But then he shows a kinder side he would never show to anyone, much less himself. And it accumulates in the scene where he decides to live on a bit longer and says a final prayer to his past, to Kakavasha. I was choking up all through that final part.

I know the patch mostly focused on Aventurine, but even what we learned of Acheron is also sad. She's not really a Galaxy Ranger, because her status as an Emanator of Nihillty, a "Self-Annihilator," is tragic enough, means she'll forget precious memories, senses, untill there's nothing. So it's sticks out to me that Acheron is the one to give Aventurine the nudge to live on, she she also has lost so much but chooses to walk on in life. Plus Dr. Ratio's note to Aventurine was very Ratio, no-nonsense but also wants him to live on despite their differences. The Aventio fans are eating it up but it's still a nice gesture from Ratio.

Speaking of Sunday, I said I wanted him to get his revenge as a treat but I wasn't counting on him almost killing Aventurine with whatever Harmony power he put on him. Sure the man lost his sister to an unknown murderer, and the light cone memory of them of a simpler time is sad. There's still a few unanswered question about him and Robin's relationship, like if Robin's fondest memories of are the pretend concert between her and Sunday, why is ti as adults she only just got back to Penacony, and why the Harmony isn't in sync anymore that caused her voice to lose it's tune. Also Sundays controlling attitude and his raven bird watching in every scene he's in makes me think the once closed siblings may not be as close anymore

Also with the reveal of what "Gallagher's" role in the story is, the drink he made for my Trailblazer fits a bit TOO well. I don't completely believe he's working alone, but his association with the Something Unto Death meme has me excited for his role next patch. Let my chill bartender man be a bit shady as a treat. Truly the "most normal human in the game of werewolf" (Thanks Shaoji)

Also to no one's surprise, Sam & Firefly are one in the same. While I am interested on how the last Stellaron Hunter is gonna be like and what their deal is, it's a shame most people like em were spoiled by the twist since it makes Firefly and Sam SO much more interesting.

But overall 2.1 has been AMAZING in terms of characterization and with 2.2 being set to be the "climax" of Penacony's Story I can't wait to see what they do with the plot threads they have been cooking up.

#honkai star rail #spoilers #hsr spoilers #hsr 2.1 spoilers #my post #txt post #long post #spent a lot of typing oop

12 notes · View notes

asmrbrainrot · 6 months

Text

The Gator Boys & The Moon Witch Ch3~

After a few minutes of flying through the swamp the two whizzed past a faint golden glow, “That’s it!” Timothy shouted, fearing Esther might miss the cabin from which the light came from. The broom came to a screeching halt, before Esther could stop him the gator boy vaulted off of the broom and began running to the cabin as if the demons of Gehenna themselves were on his heels. “Wait up!” The woman hollered following behind him on her broom. The witch gathered her things (including a very shaken Bella) and entered the cabin behind her former aggressor. She was instantly hit with the acrid smell of bile and blood. Swiftly gaining her bearings Esther observed the “Friend” the young man had told her about. Strewn on the cabin floor before her was a huge halfblood gator that appeared to be in his late thirties. The man was tall, very fit and bore deep juniper green scales. Under different circumstances she might be intimidated; however, the once able-bodied gator was a pitiful sight at the moment. His statuesque frame lay shivering in pools of his own sick, his leathery skin glistening with beads of fevered sweat. “Them hunters got’im with a crossbow,” Timothy explained, “It didn’t hit too deep but I think it was tipped!” Esther cautiously approached the larger man inspecting the bandage that wrapped around his left shoulder. “Do you still have it?” She queried, “The arrow I mean.” There was no doubt the man had been poisoned, but Esther would do more harm than good if she didn’t know what exactly was in his system. Not to mention how a halfblood might react to such a poison. “Right here!” The young man affirmed, handing the bloodied projectile to her. “Okay then, go get some clean water and cloth-Oh and put a fire on! I got a feeling we’re gonna do a bit’a potion work tonight.” She ordered pointing to what appeared to be the kitchen adjacent from them. The smaller halfblood immediately sprung into action, gathering the necessaties as Esther prepped her own materials. From her knapsack she withdrew a jar of clear unassuming fluid. A potion of revealing, one of the first lessons she learned in magical healing. Careful not to knick herself, the witch detached the arrowhead from the rest of the arrow, before plopping it into the now opened jar, swishing it around a bit. The once translucent liquid quickly became a cloudy seafoam green. “What’s that mean?” Timmy chimed in, snapping Esther from her focus. Damn, that boy was fast! “Its water hemlock,” Esther explained “makes sense since y’all live in the marsh. The stuff grows all over.” The boy's face turned ashen. “Wait! Like poison hemlock!?” The halfblood gasped, amber eyes widening. “No no nonono!” He mumbled, dropping to his knees. No doubt he had heard the stories that surrounded the deadly herb, most often it affected children tempted by their flowers, or uneducated travelers that mistook them for wild parsnips. The effects were… not pretty. “Don't panic,” Esther commanded placing a comforting hand on the young man’s back “It seems to be in its early stages but we need to work fast if we want to-'' she was cut off by a violent thrashing, followed by a loud crack as an unfortunately placed wooden stool was reduced to splinters by the gator man’s muscular tail. Right, muscle spasms. A low beastial hiss escaped the man, crazed golden eyes scanning the stranger in his home. “It’s okay Bodie, it’s okay! I brought her here to help!” Timothy reassured the larger man to no avail. Only then had it occurred to her just how strong this man was, even in such a weakened state. She also realized how dangerous this could be for her, even the most gentle folks could be violent when in pain. Not to mention water hemlock was known for inducing hallucinations. “He’s not like this usually, honest!” the younger halfblood pleaded, sensing the witch’s hesitation, “Bodie’s just, not in his right mind is all! Please don’t leave!” Did this poor boy really think she was going to abandon them at the first sign of danger?

He couldn’t be more than nineteen and he’d just risked life and limb to get her here, to save someone who clearly was very dear to him. “Trust me son, I’ve seen worse than this,” she reassured, “we just need to be careful. Even peaceful folk do wild things when they're hurting, and by the divines I’m sure he’s hurting.” She began to draw various magical herbs and ingredients from her bag, preparing a makeshift ink from water and charcoal to prepare her glyphs. Now for the hard part; drawing the glyphs. “The potion is simple so I’ll talk you through it,” she instructed, “but I need to get this fever down fast. So I’m gonna use a spell, the thing is: I’ll have to get up close and personal.” Timmy gazed at Bodie, who had already fallen back into a fever induced sleep. “Do what you need to do.” He nodded. Esther grabbed a cloth Timothy had brought and gently brought it to Bodie’s forehead, wiping it down so she could place the glyphs.

She dipped her index finger into the charcoal mixture, praying the man before her would stay still long enough for her to cast the spell. As if on cue he started to stir. “I’m gonna need you to be still for a bit,” she soothed, brushing away the stray bangs that had fallen onto his face, “I won’t bother you for long.” “Mama?” The man croaked, squinting at the women who knelt over him. “Oh honey…” Esther’s heart melted at the gator man’s confabulation. Her stiletto nails combed through the man’s hair as yellow eyes brimming with tears gazed up at her. “Mama? Mama, I’m so sorry!” He hiccuped, hot tears rolling down his face, “I couldn’t save him…” He clearly needed someone right now, and despite her previous trepidations, the woman did her best to offer as much relief as she could. “It’s okay sweetie,” she cooed, “I’m here now, I’m here. I’m gonna help you best I can.”

Suddenly, the man threw an arm around her waist, holding her to his chest. She knew she could escape if she really wanted to, a few good kicks and she’d be free. But look at the poor man! He didn’t want to hurt her! If anything he was looking for comfort, and who was she to deny him. Besides this gave her an opportunity to get close enough to place the glyphs. “Don’t leave Mama…please, not again.” The man whimpered, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t worry honey I won’t.” She crooned, shifting slightly, “I promise I won’t.”

#ITS FINALLY HERE!#tbh I’ve had this in the chamber for awhile but I didn’t know if anyone would wanna see it #gator boys belongs to obsidian lantern #inhibitions be darned!#asmr roleplay #🐊🌙✨#siren son asmr #my fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #obsidian lantern #asmr #gator boys #angst #capital m audios #bodie belongs to capitalmaudios

11 notes · View notes

everythingunderthestarsthings · 2 years

Text

I'm working on a request for Code Lyoko atm, but meanwhile, here are some headcanons!

Headcanons - Code Lyoko

Aelita Schaeffer

I headcanon that Aelita's music and dj mixing skills are rooted in her dad playing the piano and teaching her about music.

It also gives her trauma and nightmares, as we've all seen in the canon episodes tho..

And though she's smart and brainy, I don't see her going to read literature books or novels. Idk if that's just me.

I think she finds comfort in information rather than fiction, so maybe she would prefer non-fiction genres.

I also think that Aelita would like butterscotch ice cream. It's cute.

There are days where she has hallucinations and nightmares because of X.A.N.A and Franz Hopper and her past, and she would like nothing more than to listen to music while cuddling with Mister Puck and having butterscotch ice cream.

Also, much like Nicholas, a lot of people find Aelita cute. Adding to her popularity that rose from her DJ skills, she's sure to have a lot of people having crushes on her. But of course, she's only got eyes for Jeremie.

Remember that lookalike of Aelita who got only one episode on the show? Taelia? I headcanon that people in Kadic call them twins, and they eventually become good friends. I think Jim would get very confused and would put Aelita and Taelia in different classes for the sake of his own sanity.

Elizabeth "Sissi" Delmas

Sissi is a child of divorce (I think that's also canon).

I headcanon that her parents had a slightly significant age difference, because Principal Delmas looks vv old. Sissi's mom was four years younger than him -- I headcanon her to be a fashion designer, she was very impulsive and liked to live in the moment, but eventually, the love they had for each other fizzled out and they divorced.

I also think that maybe her mom wasn't what you would call "maternal". She knows this too, and accepted it when Sissi's dad contested for her during the divorce. It doesn't mean that her mom loves her less, though. She's just aware that her father could care for her daughter better than she could, and chooses to love Sissi in her own way.

I think it was mentioned somewhere in the website wiki that Sissi goes on shopping sprees with her mom, so that could be their love language. I also think that Sissi digs her mother's fashion style and did a little tweaks of that to turn it into her own.

I think that, Ulrich was her best friend before, and they bonded over having turbulent family situations. It was natural for her to catch feelings for someone who understood her, and hence she liked Ulrich. When Ulrich rejected her (multiple times), she was put off, but just didn't know how to handle their friendship from that point onward.

Sissi knows how to bandage wounds professionally (canon) and I think it was mentioned that she wanted to become a nurse. I definitely see that as a career for her, once she's matured and grown into her own self.

She's definitely a writer on the side. She would write under the pen name Sissi for sure.

I love Sissi a lot. She's so much more than what's shown on screen. I'd have loved to see her grow into the person she's actually meant to become, after some maturity and heart-to-hearts with Ulrich and her parents, too.

Jeremie Belpois

Jeremie needs naps.

A lot of naps. Poor guy.

Jeremie has definitely read classics. I also headcanon Yumi to like classics and literature, so I think both of them would bond a lot over this.

I also headcanon Jeremie to be comfortable with certain colors only – like, he wears blues and browns and some beige tones – and you wouldn't find colors like pink or yellow in his wardrobe.

Jeremie's cousin is said to look like him, right? And that guy – Patrick, I think – was a brunette and wore black rock aesthetic clothing. I think that both of them actually looked similar when they were kids, and Patrick must've changed his look at some point to have that poofy hair instead. This probably annoyed Jeremie, but now that they're on good terms, he probably teases Patrick about it a lot (and also has baby pictures to prove his point).

I can see how I turned this into Patrick headcanons. Sorry.

Jeremie likes long walks during the night. When he's not working on Lyoko related stuff, and when he's not able to sleep, he walks around at night.

His prized possession(s) is the set of polaroids that he took with Aelita on one of her first nights on Earth. He has them in a safe (and yes, he definitely has a safe that he hasn't told anyone about. Except Aelita.).

Laura Gauthier

Laura made some poor choices in Evolution, but hey, Sissi made poor choices in the original show too! People can always improve, and change.

Laura was brought up in a very strict household, where only the very best was expected from her.

That's why she desperately wanted to show her dad the laboratory at the old factory and say, "See? I'm a part of something big."

Laura has closeted lesbian energy. Evolution kinda made a big rivalry between Aelita and Laura for Jeremie, to see who was his better equal and all, but I think Laura didn't care about that and just liked getting Aelita riled up. I think Laura is more into girls, romantically speaking.

I headcanon that Laura buys clothes from Sissi's mom's fashion brand.

I can see her being a fan of "ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine.

I think Laura has the potential to be even smarter than Jeremie, even better than him, too. But she lacks some of his empathy. It's not necessarily a bad thing -- just shows how people who are similar are also different.

Adding on to this, Laura might not be very in touch with her emotions, and might come off as unempathetic. She's just misunderstood, but she's not helping her own case.

Like with Sissi, I think she could be so much more, if she matures and grows into her truest self.

Odd Della Robbia

BEFORE I START, LET ME JUST SAY THAT ODD DELLA ROBBIA IS THE BEST FICTIONAL CHARACTER TO EXIST.

I know it's said that Samantha Knight is the person Odd really really loves, but I headcanon Odd to be a no-commitments soul. He enjoys PDA and dates, but he's probably the most comfortable when he's by himself.

He's a top-tier bisexual.

I headcanon that Odd is allergic to cats. His family definitely seems like the type to have cats at home and he's hated it because all he's done is sneeze.

He's the family favourite. I think this is canon too, which is why he was allowed to get Kiwi as a pet. His sisters probably hated that smh.

This might be a personal wish-fulfilment headcanon, but I think Odd didn't learn how to ride a bicycle. He learned the skateboard, but not the bicycle.

He also feels like the kind of person to hate long car rides? He doesn't like sitting in one place for hours.

Odd is really good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and special days. Considering how he had to remind Ulrich that Yumi's birthday had passed, this is probably a canon thing.

Ulrich Stern

Ulrich's a rich kid. Canon. He's known Sissi for ages. Canon.

I headcanon that Ulrich and Sissi were on good terms before both of them hit puberty and Sissi kept forcing herself onto him.

Ulrich's best friend was probably Sissi before everything went downhill between them. Then, Odd and the Lyoko warriors happened.

Martial arts are Ulrich's way of communicating with his inner self. Penchaksilat, karate... he's very self-disciplined.

I think that's why he is so attracted to Yumi in the first place. Her being his equal in terms of martial arts would have been very appealing to him.

With reference to Aelita, Ulrich gives big brother energy and Odd gives little brother energy.

Ulrich is probably the most protective of Aelita out of them all. Of course, Jeremie worships her, but Ulrich has the means to fight anyone who messes with his lil sis.

He played with a lot of samurai toys when he was younger.

Ulrich seems to be the type of guy to like haunted houses.

William Dunbar

I LOVE WILLIAM WITH MY HEART AND SOUL, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND—

Well.

William is definitely king of reading classics and books. He gives Yumi a book on poetry in Evolution, right? He loves romance novels and crime thrillers, and probably reads for an hour a day.

When you think about it, William and Ulrich are very similar. Both of them are only childs with wealthy backgrounds, but the difference lies in the fact that William is loved by his parents, while Ulrich's relationship with his own are strained.

William's favorite fruit is orange.

Lyoko gave him a lot of PTSD, but he loves the thrill, and he's still a very honorable man. That's why he comes back.

William and Aelita have an unusual friendship, I think. They can relate to being haunted by X.A.N.A. It's very unfortunate that they have limited interactions in the show and in Evolution too.

I can definitely see William going into the military or the CIA. He gives me those vibes.

ALSO, I think William would probably end up with someone who's way younger than him (maybe 3 years younger) – someone with a lot of vitality and optimism — and probably blonde.

(My OC for William is blonde, but this isn't about me—)

MOVING ON

Yumi Ishiyama

Yumi was brought up in a very traditional household, as we know.

Yumi would be very into Asian literature and classics, as mentioned in Jeremie's section.

Yumi doesn't look like it to most people, but she's the most motherly out of all of them. She's a big sister, and she's had to raise Hiroki when her parents were fighting and they almost divorced and all.

I think Yumi's slightly spiritual too. Not to the extent where she fully believes in prayers and ancient rituals, but she understands the significance of her culture and respects them.

Yumi loves fireworks and shooting stars. I headcanon her as a bit of an astrology freak.

I also think that Yumi is bisexual? Or at least, she's always been curious about it.

I think she's had a curious phase about everything. But once she understands, she has the capacity to evaluate for herself and make right decisions.

A/N: These are just my personal headcanons. I can do more of these, and relationship headcanons or friendship headcanons too, if I get requests, or strokes of inspiration. I hope you like these!

82 notes · View notes

quandaryqueen · 2 years

Text

Think of me fondly

Batman unburied Riddler X Reader

Batman's sidekick find themself spilling like a dam in front of the Riddler.

Just a lil drabble, sitting in my drafts for far too long.

Batman is going to kill me.

You re-emerge from Gotham river with a gasp and an unconscious cane-twirling, riddle-loving crook in your arms. Pulling yourself into the threshold of the docks along with the man, you felt a shiver hit your skin... That's when you realised you've also lost your mask from the escape.

He's going to really kill me...

After disobeying him and running after the Riddler alone, whilst an ongoing shoot out with ricocheting bullets and a crowd of goons, you have now find yourself fucked. Not following orders from Batman is one thing, but not following orders from Batman when he's really angry? It gave out corporal disciplinary actions from parents vibes, you might as well be dead to him after this. It felt dumb, because you were no longer a child.

You were already under scrutiny after breaking a goon's collarbone that one night. You didn't mean to, it was just that he pointed and shot at Batman, what other choice did you have? Not only that, you were dosed with the fear toxin prior to that encounter.

The antidote did its work to pull you out of the hallucinations induced by the Scarecrow's recent concoction, but it left a dent in your mind. The things you've seen during those suffocating moments, you remember wanting to take a plunge at the building you were on.

All this cape-twirling, cable-swinging, building-jumpings, crime-fightings... Its effect on the body and mind you see in Bruce, you were scared he was going to die and you wouldn't be able to stop it. You didn't have to break the lackey's collarbone when he shot at Bruce, but you were scared that he would hit him, kill him.

Huh... Now you see why Alfred insists you take psychological evaluation. Maybe you aren't in stable state of mind to be doing this right now.

In your arms is an unconscious Edward Nygma, whom you have dove in an active bullet crossfire in between his men in green, the police and Penguin's men, who have held him captive for double-crossing them... Something Batman had barked at you not to do and yet you did, hence why you're a dripping mess and in possession of a Riddleman.

"Hey," you pat Riddler's cheek to wake him up. You pat him again. Nope, not even a twitch. You repeat the process, barely holding back the smack that had his eyes shooting up.

"OW!" He whines, rubbing his reddened cheek. "What the hell is that for?!"

"To know if I will be bothered to perform CPR."

The Riddler's jaw-dropped at the audacity. "You know you could have just listened to my breathing, right?" And besides, CPR is an outdated practice.

"Whatever, you're awake. I'm taking you to Commissioner Gordon--" wait... Fuck.

In a desperate attempt to cover up any semblance of your identity, you threw your cape over your head.

I am so dead.

"Oh honey, as if I didn't see your face up close already. Give it up." You can practically hear the eyeroll from his tone. "And besides, I don't even know you. You're not that interesting under the cowl."

Before you can ponder about that, he then asks,

"How old are you, by the way?"

You furrowed your brows at him. Why the hell does he wanna know?

He rolls his eyes after reading your way expression. "I'm not trying to figure out what your identity is, I'm just genuinely curious." You told him. "Huh... Younger than I thought. Tell me, is Batman really employing children?"

"You and I are the same age!" You unintentionally snapped, leading you to slack out of guilt.

God, how would you know if he wouldn't tell on you?

"You wouldn't tell... Would you?" You were fearful to meet his gaze. This aren't the types of questions you can just ask, it felt humiliating more than ever. It was obvious that--

"No. That wouldn't be as interesting. In fact, I find it insulting that your idiocy had outed you when I could have found it out myself, now that would be satisfaction at its finest-- but it wouldn't particularly benefit me, these games aren't so exciting anymore when the mystique of the mask is lifted and revealed...." He continues on and on about it and all you could do was to stare at him with squinted eyes. "Besides, it feels anticlimactic to find that the little brat following Batman around isn't as interesting as he is, I mean, no offense but I don't really see your face anywhere, unlike your big papa Bruce Wayne--"

"What?" For the first time, you looked up at him with wide eyes.

Edward laughs at your expression, oh how priceless. You think that he wouldn't have Batman's identity figured out when he was practically everywhere?

"See, this is why I didn't recognise you at all, you are a nobody without the mask, as to Bruce Wayne....."

He goes off the tangent again, as you discreetly reach for a throwing knife in your utility belt. He knows of Bruce's identity, that can't be good. He can very easily do something about that intel that will ruin the Batman... And you can't have that.

".... Now it wouldn't be fun if the others knew, now would it?"

He wouldn't tell? At all?

His statement had you slowly retracting the blade in your belt, all the while, he continues rambling, which only sounded nothing but gibberish to you. Your own thoughts were racing and you couldn't keep up with them, nor Edward's declarations.

Though, you managed to croak out, "How long have you--?"

"Since the first encounter. It was easy, really. Especially when you have abundance of time and been reading the same magazine in Arkham." Edward looks over you, finding you stiff and staring a hole to your shoes, figure still dripping from the dive.

What could you possibly thinking, surely you weren't hurt at the fact that he called you a nobody... Right? He's not the type to usually apologize for his bluntness not did he recognise the fact that he was hurtful with his words, but your expression had him feeling sorry for you and he was confused about it. Maybe it's the fact that he sees a person underneath the cowl instead of the obnoxious little tag-along he perceives them to be. He never saw H/N's face flush and eyes dulled and down, the ever-so persistent fist thrower slumped, hugging their knees to their chest like a little kid.

This person (who claims to be his age) who had dove head-first to an active shooting grounds, kidnap him from his kidnappers and swam to get away from it all... Saved his life, he begrudgingly supposes.

"You're not... Sad because I called you a nobody... Right?" It's ridiculous because he has called you worse during regular battles. He has picked up a thing or two from locker room talk during high school.

"No?" You squinted at him. "I've heard worse." And why would he be concerned all the sudden?

"Then what's wrong? Aren't you gonna take me to Commissioner Gordon?"

"I'll... Just stay here for a bit..."

Before Edward can respond, you clipped a handcuff on his wrist and cuffed the other on yours. Just a guarantee he won't escape as you take a break from everything, Edward wasn't pleased at all.

"It's just that... I wish everything would come to a halt for a moment, you know? Everything is so... Fast paced and eventful and it's tiring," you disregard Edward and his complaints whilst he tries to find his way around the handcuffs, tugging and picking at it, as you resign yourself to sigh and stare idly at the rushing waters from the dockyard. "It's... Vigilante life for ya. I live to save lives of others. But sometimes I can't save myself.

"Just yesterday, Batman... I guess you now know him as Bruce, was almost killed if I didn't intervened and because of that, I almost killed someone. Then the day before that, I almost died of overdose from Scarecrow's fear gas and I don't know, it messed me up... Increased some brain chemicals, so I guess I have some sort of imbalance. And just... Everything is so overwhelming."

At this point, Edward had stopped trying to tug his wrist out of the cuff. Instead, he just stares at you with a glare. Jesus fucking damn it, there you are unloading emotional luggage while dripping wet, in a cold, windy night. For once he was surprised with himself in how he can keep his mouth shut for this while. He would have taken over, but he listened somehow. Even when you stopped speaking, he didn't try to fill the silence with some babbling. He noticed how relieved you are to be soaking in some sense of tranquility for once, as you closed your eyes and feel the cold air nip against your wet skin.

He supposes he has gone soft for the Bat's sidekick, the annoying little thing. He liked getting to fight you, how you were quick on your feet, on your wit, how sharp you are. He fucking hates it, but he will admit that you're smart enough to resort to simple means to defeat him and his riddles instead of standing around to listen to his villain monologue. He hates you... But he is also fond of you.

Well fuck, he may be an asshole but he's an asshole with a heart.

"I'm not even supposed to be here right now. Bruce told me to lay low for a while..." So imagine just how much you were piling on against him. "I didn't listen, clearly and now I'm unloading emotional baggage on some guy who saw my face for the first time."

"Gotham's hero, lady's and gentlemen," he dryly remarks. But he supposes not all heroes wear capes, this hero happens to be keeping the lid of their sanity as tight as a jar of pickles, not all of them are models of mental health. Why would anyone take a look at the Batman and his sidekick and go, 'ah yes, these two are definitely sane.'

Oh and the nerve of you to call him "some guy", he is clearly more than that he always makes sure... But he didn't speak of it. A part of him wants to keep you talking, or at least, keep you. With his usual antics of speaking up, he knows it would snap you out of whatever reverie you are in and wheel his ass back in Arkham and so he kept his usual self at below the average.

You sighed. "Did you know how much of life I missed? Loved ones birthdays, important events that they're mad at me, favourite bands and artists' concerts, all that— my own birthdays... I don't want to say it out loud because I know Bruce had it worst and I don't want to seem... I don't want to come across as... I..." You struggled to put it into words, the dread of these words that were locked away bursts your thoughts and made its way pass your lips, you'd think you would be shun with thinking such a thing. "I don't know... That I'm not loving the hero life?"

Though half-baked, it finally felt good to let it out. Not only that, you weren't greeted with the sight of the disgust you were envisioning in your head, the reason why you often brushed these thoughts aside. Edward only sat attentive and understanding, he can't blame you for feeling that way at all.

"There's nothing wrong to feel that way."

"You really think so?" You find yourself stunned that Edward "The Riddler" Nygma would get you of all people, let alone, for him to be the first person you'd confide in about the long-held thought.

He nodded in response. You clearly need a friend who understands you.

You sink at the feeling of relief. In hindsight, you just made a friend out of one of Gotham's rogues. Taking a breather, you unlocked your cuffs and stood.

"Right. I've talked your ear off," you pocket the handcuffs and took a communication device from your belt. Pressing a few buttons, static emits from this device and Edward braces himself.

"Where are you?" A deep voice from the comm link rumbles from your very core. You didn't know whether you shivered from the cold, Gotham air and the wetness of your form or the mere effect of Bruce.

You cleared your throat. "The docks. I lost him."

Edward's eyes widened. Ohohoho, really now?

"Stay there."

With that, the link ended and you untense in relief. Turning over Edward, you gave him a look.

"Not a word. I'm letting you go," That should make you equal. "Stay out of trouble."

He scoffs. Does he look like he'd abide by that? But then again, laying low for awhile is a plan.

"Toodles~!" He skips off.

After his departure, you were anticipating the feeling of regret to creep in... It didn't. Instead, you were looking forward to seeing him again. Just what was that encounter was something you could have never ever foreseen, but then again, he is an Enigma.

#edward nygma #riddler x reader #dc x reader #edward nygma x reader #dc x you #edward nigma #batman unburied riddler x reader #batman unburied

70 notes · View notes