#i think i also partially feel guilty bc

[epiphainie]

we've seen buck get jealous and be possessive with friends and family but we've never seen him do that with a love interest so i think tommy kinard should have that honor and buck should be getting reallyyy upset about him fucking someone else idk

[dancedance-resolution]

IM HAVING A GOOD DAY EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT EXPECT TO HAVE ONE

[keroinnie]

hmmm the physical album discourse im seeing on twitter right now sure is interesting..... don't think i like it actually

[juniperpyre]

if james & lily survived halloween '81, raised harry, and had more kids

the first few years. got kinda long.

i've thought how about jily would raise harry if the story diverged from canon halloween 1981. i think they'd have another kid very soon, partially on purpose, kind of a "if it happens, it happens" situation, bc they're so happy to be free and safe and have their whole lives ahead of them.

but the trauma of growing up in war & having their parents die young is still present. there was no space to process these feelings. so i think, about a year and half after the war ends, when they have their first daughter, lily would get postpartum depression.

like that shit just comes!! once you are safe your body shuts down, feels what it repressed to survive. you can't stop it. it's rarely immediate, from my experience. so the huge, physically and emotionally transformative experience of growing a baby and giving birth would crack the armor so to speak. so she gets bad postpartum

the time after would be the worst part of their marriage. the wizarding world seems to be bad at mental health & the real world also was (still is) not great at treating mental illness, esp in women. i think for lily it would manifest with a lot of apathy, disinterest, seclusion, and revisiting bad parts of her life. james would understand that something is wrong, but since his parents are dead and lily's parents are dead there isn't someone to go to for advice on this super personal issue. perhaps he'd mention something to an older woman he knew and she'd be like "oh that's normal!". but it's not. james just isn't going to make it clear how bad it is, so it seems normal.

& i think he'd be understanding, except when it came to childcare. like, yes, he'd try, but i don't think he'd be able to comprehend why she didn't seem to love their children the way she had when harry was born. maybe he'd worry the dark magic from halloween '81 fucked her up. either way, he would get frustrated, probably angry, i think it would cause fights that left both of them feeling horribly, horribly guilty.

i think sirius would help a lot. he'd be the only other person allowed in the house for a while. he would understand the depression aspect better—maybe he was briefly in azkaban in this timeline—far more than james. how deep the apathy can go. maybe lily and petunia would reconnect, bc sirius says this sort of thing is genetic so james basically begs petunia for help. maybe it happened to their mom with lily, and petunia remembers.

with time to decompress i think petunia would be willing to reconnect. she took harry in, after all.

so now they have more emotional support for lily, maybe petunia babysits (look, james and lily don't know about the abuse in the canon timeline), and in the second 6 months of their daughter's life she gets better. part of that is her and james talking about their lives together without the war. bc they don't know each other outside of war. they never had to plan for that sort of life.

they decide to wait to have more kids. 10, 15 years pass before they have another. they're really happy with their two, anyway

[deadchannelradio]

hello i've been loving all the stuff with tgirl jtodd. i've just been wondering what bruce's general thoughts and stuff are on it. i don't imagine that jason would ever "come out" to him so how would he find out? what is his reaction?

i think you're right in that jason is not Coming Out to bruce for sure for sure or anyone really! I think knowledge of it kind of spreads like fungus style through them all and is partially found by Using Their Eyebarls and Looking At Her. Firm believer in jay being butch as fuck (and not like fun fancy butch like... i don't think the way she dresses changes very significantly nor is she like, suddenly using moisturizer now or growing out her hair. shes always going to look like someone who would buy teenagers beer at a gas station for 20 bucks) but she is going to change the cut of her clothes a little and repitch the vocalizer so it's more Her Pitch and not "menacing growl lower than any human being is capable of". and also hormones are gonna give her D cups. the boobs are noticeable.

I think it kind of goes dick -> babs -> damian -> steph -> cass -> bruce -> tim

Dick knows first because jason goes to him to ask So Super Casually how dick knew he was trans (bc jason doesn't know the story) and dicks like Well i dont know i was Four. i've always been Advanced For My Age <3 and jasons like. ah. ok. and dick like looks at him and is like why do you ask. and jasons like. 'never mind just curious.' and dicks like 💡 and ends up giving the advice of like. don't worry about the Knowing. what do you Want? 'what do you mean' well it doesnt matter what you Are it matters what you Want and the I Want creates the I Am. so anyways do you want hormones. (jason looks at him bugeyed) just ask leslie she stabs me in the asscheek every six months with testosterone she'll give you whatever you want.

dick tells babs because dick talks to babs regularly and babs is the only one of them who isnt dick who talks to jay "regularly" (meaning jay will throw babs tips about cases she doesnt want) and dick also 'tells' damian (just starts using dif pronouns and damian gets it) because it's damian. and either jay texts steph to be like Do you have bra recommendations for us poor bastards with huge tits (whenever hers grow enough to be uncomfortable w/o a bra) or steph hears babs or damian drop a she/her regarding jay. steph tells cass bc cass does her best to never interact with the red hood/jay and as such won't know until either somebody tells her or she personally interacts with jay, which happens like once a year if she can help it. Bruce observes with his eyeballs and very awkwardly goes to dick about it like ...... so. and then doesnt continue and through like 90 seconds of what amounts to verbal charades dick figures out what bruce is asking about and takes pity on him and is like "she still goes by jay" and bruce is like OK thank you. and the next question is "does she need..... help" and dick is like she will shoot you a brand new double wide three bedroom two bathroom asshole if you try to give her money about being transgender of all things she's got her own money and will get whatever she wants with it and bruce is like right OK thank you. tim finds out last and probably from going over to Dick's house when jason is there and 1) seeing that she's got tits now 2) hearing both "jay" and "she" come out of dick's mouth.

I don't think bruce has any real big reaction to it but he probably feels guilty for not like.... catching it earlier. or pushing/asking when she was a kid. like this makes sense to everybody who Knows jay this isn't a shock, and i think bruce suspected when jay was a teenager but didn't. communicate about it with her. which i don't think was the Wrong choice. but bruce does feel guilty about it just because it just wouldn't be bruce without a guilt complex LOL. if he and jay ever communicated about it there would be a whole Oh My God You Knew. "i suspected." How Did You Know. "I Raised You." BRUCE!!!!

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

What do you think of Tamlin as a High Lord?

Hi anon!

It's hard to quite talk objectively about his performance as a High Lord, as this series is politically-consistent, nor motivated, for that matter. In short, I don't think we're supposed to pay attention to the politics, save for when its convenient.

But -- when I zoom out from the love story, the protagonist-centered moral compass, and look objectively to how a character reacts to situations, I believe that Tamlin's actions make...a lot of sense. I would even go as far as to say -- given his situation(s) -- I quite agree/understand why he makes the decisions he does.

For example, when Feyre goes UTM, his strategy of pretending not to know Feyre made a lot of sense! Think about it: Amarantha is a passionately jealous person. If Tamlin confessed his love to Feyre on day one, Amarantha would have just killed Feyre. We know this because at the end of the novel, when Tamlin expresses his love for Feyre...Amarantha immediately tortures and kills Feyre without question, without even trying to uphold her end of the bargain. If anything - throughout the events of UTM, Feyre's irrelevance partially saves her life. Amarantha forgets about her, and only drags her out when its time to complete the bargain. Tamlin's ambivalence meant that Amarantha got nothing to torture her with; and when Amarantha is given information about Feyre, she uses it to further devise her trials (such as Rhysand telling Amarantha that Feyre is a hunter....and then sending the Wyrm after Feyre, her illiteracy, which I won't place entirely on Rhys bc we truly have no idea how Amaratha knew). Imagine if Tamlin spilled the beans, Amarantha would have gotten Unknown Daemati #217 to crack his mind open, and now Amarantha knows about not just Feyre, but her father, her sisters, and the entire human congregation living by the wall.

Secondly, Tamlin was the only one of the High Lords to remain cognizant of Amarantha--which is the reason Rhysand was wary, to begin with. And even under heavy watch, he still allows refugees from other courts to take refuge at his own home. He still works through the curse, despite how many men he was losing, and ONLY stops because he was tired of sacrificing his friends with no end result. He even feels guilty about having to make Feyre fall in love, so much so that Lucien has to tell him to do it, even though he knows (to some extent) that Feyre killed Andras with hate in her heart. He still defends the borders (which ofc is bare minimum)

Thirdly, when he realizes he cannot fend against Hybern's vast army, he staunches the flow of Hybern soldiers into his land through his alliance, all the while, still collecting stacks and stacks of information to send back to the other High Lords. And I should note -- he doesn't have to do this as the bargain would at least ensure the safety of his people (and please don't get me started on the flimsy nature of bargains in this series, because Hybern should have faced consequences for breaking it). And even AFTER the Nigh court ruins the operation, Tamlin still comes, still saves Feyre, and STILL brings Rhysand back from the dead.

And even with Ianthe - I never know what game the story is playing. I definitely think its a blunder to trust her, but WAR made it pretty clear that Tamlin was wary of Ianthe, and probably was only using her to cement his alliance with the King. While I think Ianthe attempts to manipulate Tamlin, and does to some extent, in relation to his relationship with Feyre, I don't know that he was completely inept in that situation. I also think its a weird plot hole to have Tamlin defer to a woman, while making the argument that Tamlin is a misogynistic asshole who hates to see women in power. As with his dynamic with Ianthe - we know that's not true. Especially because the story is arguing that Tamlin had an issue with Feyre being in power, when in reality, he seems to have no issue taking political advice from a women, and seems to actually take in to consideration what Ianthe is saying, though its not the greatest thing. The difference between how much power Ianthe had in Spring, and how little power the leading women of the IC have is quite astounding. Like yeah Ianthe is evil, but why is she pulling more strings than the Second-in-Command eldritch monster, or Third-in Command warrior princess?

Look - the politics in the series starts on uneven footing - but I just feel like Tamlin made very reasonable decisions despite being in completely unreasonable situations. Like, he's placed in the lose-lose situations, but ultimately always makes the right decision. And in the realm of this story -- with the other High Lords as a metric -- I think Tamlin is a pretty good High Lord. I think I can come to that conclusion, but I'm up for discussions if anyone disagrees.

[ngage2003]

There is a joke that always stuck with me from the blu-rays/cast commentary, that being that Jay is a nepo baby and that is how he kept affording motels and gas and food for years, even with no job and a growing obsession. Like a dog to a chewed on and wilting sock, this is an idea I have latched onto and grown unreasonably obsessed with, which I personally believe kind of explains aspects of Jay's character.

⟦content warning: serious headcanon territory, but also still a lot of character analysis bc im coocoo⟧

At the start of the series and even into season 2 of Marble Hornets, I think it could definitely be argued that Jay is a passive character before his continued exposure to the Operator.

Now, that isn't to say he is meek (quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on) but he is very guarded, very willing to fade into the background or just go along with other people. I honestly think that is part of why Alex chose him as script supervisor. Because Alex can be fun but he is bossy and has a very specific vision and likes getting his way. (A trait thats honestly pretty normal, especially in artistic types.)

It is important not to conflate Jay's willingness to avoid conflict with submissiveness, gentleness or a lack of care though. Jay still has his own ideas, and when left to his own devices, a deadly curiosity. (That is why Marble Hornets as an online series started.) He still gets angry too, like when Alex is leading him around in circles because he refuses to/can't kill Jay, but also refuses to tell him what is going on. Jay is forced into action after dealing with this behavior for months, but even before then we see him getting more and more frustrated behind the scenes. (Entry 39 is the first example that comes to my mind.)

It also is important to not misconstrue his selfishness, as many people in this fandom do. Jay Merrick is a bit of a dick. (That is why he gets along with Alex.) He lies to Tim very poorly the first time they meet to get information out of him rather than try to directly ask, he didn't help Masky to the hospital after his leg was broken—yes, he thought what Alex did was wrong but ultimately stayed with him and kept following him for answers. Even with Jessica, part of the reason he cares so much is because he feels guilty/responsible and he is, he pulled her into this out of his damn curiosity!

Statement: I believe Jay holds extreme guilt over Jessica being brought into this and what happened to her. Evidence: in Entry 77, when Tim is saying, "there is two possibilities for what happened to jessica," Jay out of the blue says, "It wouldn’t be my fault!" at about 2:43. Tim never implied it was and the only reason I can see Jay to unprompted say this is because he believes it was.

Jay Merrick is someone defined by curiosity and selfish, but while habitually passive. He lies to hide what he wants and what he is doing, sometimes for an understandable reason but also sometimes out of just, once again, habit.

The question easily comes, why is he like that?

Well! Stick with me here—I think is because Jay Merrick IS a nepo baby. Specifically, I think he grew up in a household where his parents were neglectful, and when he was visiblly upset, that was repaid with harsh rejection and then money or expensive apologies rather than concrete change. It was a situation where, while his needs weren't being met, getting angry at it also feels bad because of how we as a society (and his parents specifically too) worship money.

I think his curiosity partially comes from this neglect too, as growing up his parents brushing off questions and lacking support always left him wanting more but without a way to voice it, leaving him with this lifelong unease and need for answers. His parents kind of forgot what it was like to be a kid and how you literally don't know anything, and would often brush off certain things because of this. Additionally, growing up this way also left him a bit selfish, as coming from a place of wealth, being neglected, and being somewhat isolated growing up as a "weird"/visibly autistic kid, that all left him struggling to connect to people and with his own empathy, as we see in canon. This doesn't make him a bad person inherently or anything, but is just a part of who he is. Aside from the obvious case of Jay dragging Jessica into this, I think an example of this is how in Entry 66, when Tim is laying out all his trauma, there is an interaction that goes like this:

Tim: One of the problems I was having was hallucinations. I had a lot of them. [...] [W]henever they would find me [after i escaped from my room,] I would say that I was hiding from whatever it was I was seeing so they’d bring me back and they didn’t have much of a choice except to lock me in here. That’s when it was at its worse. I’d be clawing at the walls and screaming at all hours of the night, they had to up my dosage just to calm me down, to the point that I was almost numb. Jay: But these hallucinations, what did they look like?

You could say his disregard is due to shock, but in my opinion that'd be a bit too forgiving. Sure, Tim is talking about his awful childhood and he is being pretty vivid but, Jay already knew about it to some extent due to his records, and while generally he is closed off and hard to read, he seems more uneasy with Tim's yelling than shocked. Jay's default is just curiosity and wanting answers, that is just kind of a pattern with him, even/especially at the expense of others.

I think he is so passive also because of his home life. Specifically, that was what made living at home easiest, with parents who like having you as a trophy but don't actually care about you. Keeping your head down is how you survive, and he kind of just accepted that "ok this is how the world works." Everyone wants something from you (a compliment, a second opinion that is more vapid support than substance, praise,) and giving it to them makes it easier. I think Alex wheedled him sometimes to try to get him out of that shell, but to some extent also he liked it, liked having someone who agrees with him, and in turn Jay admired his outspoken nature, blatant hatred of his parents, and tolerance for Jay's "weirdness". (Hyperfixations.) They weren't necessarily super duper healthy, but they were two traumatized kids clinging to each other, and sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles, especially when you're isolated.

I also think, due to being a late 80s-90s kid, Jay did grow up with the internet and probably to some extent was unmonitored, which definitely influenced and impacted him but also did inspire his love of technology. (Specifically film/cameras.) I think it also to some extent fed into his worse habits by accident though, just the unfortunately common attitudes highlighted by the internet, but also was the original way he sated his curiosity. I think his propensity to tell "white lies," could have easily come from this exposure too.

I have a lot of specific instances tie to Jay's childhood that in my brain define why he is Like That, but this is just an overview of my main thoughts and I hope it makes sense.

[biggestsastielfan]

sastiel headcanons that 0 people asked for

oh and btw idrk how headcanons work so like bear with me.

sam has always had a fascination with angels, and angel wings specifically. he always wondered what cas’ wings looked like

sam fell in love first and he didn’t even realize that it happened, cause he hasn’t truly been in love since jess. he doesnt know what it feels like.

cas always thought sam’s soul was truly beautiful, and he always felt oddly guilty for what happened to him in the cage. he considered fixing his soul for him, because its flayed and burned and whatnot, but he had already done enough damage. so he never did.

they watch crime documentaries on netflix together. they love that shit. and they’ll make popcorn for it too. movie night

sometimes they’ll just sit in the library together for hours and read. they won’t even talk. they’ll just enjoy each other’s presence and the silence (while dean is either sleeping, drinking, or sleeping with some girl. or like on a case by himself)

sam prays to cas. all. the. time. and he doesn’t think he hears them, because cas only answers deans prayers. but he prays anyway. especially when sam starts to lose hope in god, he’ll just pray to cas. thank him for his meals or for keeping him safe during a hunt. he knows it’s complete bs, but he needs hope

cas wants to answer sam’s prayers, but they’re things he was never meant to hear, or things he can’t do. he doesn’t know how to help. so he just doesnt. and he does feel like a coward because of it

it’s canon that sam read a parenting book when jack was first born. sam admits this to cas, like he’s embarrassed about it and cas is just like “sam i’ve read every single parenting book in the english language” (which is also partially canon) and then they talk about it and bond over it. which spirals into how proud they are of jack and how great he is and how hes grown into an amazing person. and then cas shows sam the photos of jack he has on his phone and then SAM shows cas that his lockscreen image is a photo of jack. so yeah i think they love him

they often mourn the loss of kelly kline together. sometimes with jack too

specifically after he comes out of the cage and gets his soul back, they’ll speak enochian together. sam is fluent in enochian from his time in the cage w lucifer and michael. and sometimes he cant stop speaking enochian, esp when hes frustrated or upset. it pisses dean off, naturally (not my original headcanon but i love it)

they teach jack enochian and he learns it super quickly bc yknow. nephilim

not rlly a headcanon but i like to imagine an alt universe where they gave sam castiel’s blood to flush out the demon blood in his system. so basically that one scene with ruby but it’s cas and significantly less freaky (or maybe not. whatever. idk.)

[lufyuu]

Every time I read one of your blogs, I wonder what your OCs would be like with a reader who is already married (her husband is probably cheating) and the reader is super romantic (the very affectionate type) Charismatic and affectionate How would they react?

Thanks for reading, we love you 💖❤️

I'm not sure if you read the rules as I have stated that I don't write for fem readers, bc of that, this will be gn reader!

Eun Hyunwoo

Considering you're a married idol, you have to watch who you interact with as people would probably overanalyze your interactions with other people. Even if you're just being friendly, they could misinterpret it as you liking them. Because of that, the friendship between you and Eun Hyunwoo stays that way, just a friendship. Well this is until Eun Hyunwoo was taking pictures of you that he realized your husband was on the couch texting someone while smiling. He didn't think much but couldn't help but to take a small peak at the contents of the chats. That's how he found out you had an unfaithful husband. Hyunwoo wanted to tell you but didn't want to be the reason your marriage failed which is why it was only until the affair was publicized that he finally told you. Of course you were heartbroken, considering how you're already dealing with divorce papers and lawyers, the news that he had been cheating on you for longer than you thought made everything worse. Ever since then, Hyunwoo was the only person you could turn to for comfort. It was partially because he felt bad that he made you feel worse but also partly because he had seen how sweet you were and wanted to get to know you better. After a few months, you eventually started to move on from the whole ordeal. It was then that Hyunwoo and you started going out as more than friends. Each second he spetn time with you, he kept thinking 'how could anyone cheat on them' or 'their ex fumbled' because of how sweet you are. You remember his favorite restaurants, took care of him whenever he was overworked, etc. You had a way with your words, everytime you complimented him, it felt as if he was being complimented by the Gods themselves. Whenever he's around you, he can feel his cheeks get red due to your actions and words alone. To this very day, he still doesn't understand why your pathetic excuse of an ex cheated.

River Sterling

Considering that you're both still in Uni, I'll take it as a boyfriend situation. Nothing can get past River, especially not rumours. He hears everything that goes down in the walls of the Uni you both go to. Including when your now ex was kissing and feeling up 10 different girls in the same janitor's closet. He didn't care about it at first as he didn't know who the hell was pleasuring all these girls but once he found out it was your 'boyfriend'? That's a whole nother story. He wouldn't tell you directly, he set up a whole scenario so you could find out for yourself! The expression on your ex's face and one of his side chicks' were hilarious to River. What wasn't funny was you sobbing uncontrollably. He had thought you'd at least swing at the guy but you didnt. You were in shock and decided to flee the place. River felt guilty at that point and decided to grab your wrist as you were leaving the building. He hated the expression on your face. That day, River did everything he could to cheer you up. Gosh he was even thinking of eliminating your ex for you if you allowed it. River really fell for your charisma and personality. He wasn't used to real affection being given to him without asking anything in return. The more he was with you, the more he fell inlove with you. The two of you would always hold hands on campus, he doesn't hide your relationship like a certain someone once did. Whatever you want, you'll get it and River will make sure of it.

Liu Zihao

I honestly don't know how this trope would work with Liu Zihao seeing as the reader is depicted as a heartless serial killer in his story but let's say you're not heartless in this au and you have a partner in crime who is also your husband. The two of you have been working together for a long time and have great synergy. That is until the one time you two almost got caught, he decided to abandon you for his own safety. This ended up in you having to face not just any jury but Lord Liu himself. You were sure your spouse would come to fetch you sooner or later but he never showed. Out of rage, you decided to reveal where the two of you had been hiding all these months to avoid getting caught. What you didn't expect was being given a special sentencing by Liu Zihao. Being stuck in a luxurious house wasn't that bad afterall. Honestly, after several days being in his home, you warmed up to him. His personality reminded you that of a cat's. Sometimes a dog's too. Even if he didn't say anything, you could feel his eyes on you everytime he was around. Depsite all this, you were almost always bored so you decided to pick up a hobby. Baking and cooking. After testing out a few recipes, you fed some of your cooking to Zihao who was thrilled you cooked for him! Well technically not for him but he doesn't know that, let a man be happy. You were honestly like a house spouse at that point. Not that Zihao minded, he loved tasting your crafts, they always tasted amazing to him. The two of you became something akin to lovers without even mentioning to to one another. At least in Zihao's eyes you're the one for him. Maybe it was because you had lived almost a whole 5 years being married that you treated Zihao as if he was your husband. Your affection made Zihao fell ever so inlove with you. On that topic what ever happened to your husband? Well don't worry about him, he was found guilty for all the crime you did and also a few infidelity crimes. He was executed on the spot of course. Nothing will get in the way of the two of you!

Han Minho

While you were in the military, your husband decided his dick wasn't being tend to enough and stuck it into another person's hole. He did this while you were none the wiser. Even when you sent him letters, he rarely ever read them. Instead, your letters would be thrown in the trash bin next to the bed he was fucking a woman in. You thought he was busy so you brushed it off. Maybe it's something the two of you would have to talk about after you get discharged but until then, you should focus on your duties. Although Minho found you attractive, he didn't act on his feelings knowing you were already married. He was a better man than that. However, when you were discharged early and decided to surprise your husband...Let's just say you came out of the house divorced. You couldn't believe the man that vowed to love you until death would be fucking another woman in your bed no less. While you were getting coffee, eyes swollen from crying the night before, you bumped into someone you didn't expect. Han Minho. He noticed your red eyes and immediately asked what was wrong. He didn't understand how you went from being such a sweet and happy person to having red eyes from crying too much. The two of you sat down as you told him what had happened. The two of you never had a close relationship but you really needed to get the whole thing off your shoulders. Minho understood what you were going through. He offered for you to stay at his place for a bit. Better than whatever hotel you had decided was better than the house you shared with a cheater. It was then that the two of you started going out more. You practically spent every moment from waking up to going to sleep together. You offered to pay some bills but Minho said there was no need for that, he had everything covered. As repayment for not only taking care of you and hearing you out, but also letting you stay, you gave him gifts every week according to what he liked. You noticed even the smallest thing. Like how he would look at a piece of cake for a bit too long. Next morning, he would find the cake in the fridge waiting for him to bite into it. The two of you felt as if this was the life you both wanted. To feel seen and loved by one another. Han Minho will make sure your ex doesn't ever come near you ever again. He'll love you even if death eventually parts the two of you.

Xu RenFeng

Being apart of royalty and the second born of the imperial palace, you were married to a known and trusted general of the family. Renfeng, being the spy he was, knew the two of you were married. He admired you from afar, your personality and smile made his day even if they weren't towards him and rather, towards a man undeserving of your love. He wanted a reason to steal you away and a reason was given to him alright. Renfeng had spotted your unfaithful husband in a brothel with 4 women all up in his personal space, touching him in places one shouldnt ever unless they were married. The general not only stayed still but even encouraged it. He was about to slice his throat but didn't want to cause a scene. Renfeng waited until the general exited the place, satisfied with his infidelity and sliced his head on the spot. You woke up the next day to screams in the palace. Not knowing what was wrong, you got up quickly to see what the fuss was all about, only to see your husband's severed head stuck on the spikes of the outerwall. It had a note on it, 'undeserving of your love'. It seems whoever planted this clearly wanted you to see it, and the note. They wanted your attention. Well Renfeng did get what he wanted after kidnapping you and taking you to where he thought you would be 'safe'. His definition of safe is definitely contradicting with yours. It'll take you some time to be affectionate towards your kidnapper but he'll be on the receiving end of your affection soon enough, he just has to play the waiting game.

~~

Honestly this was a bit too long😥

[askthegirlbossau]

What would it take for Bryce to retire as Batman? I mean, does she plan to keep batmanning until she dies on the job, is there one point at which she would be so compromised by physical health she would consider herself unfit for the job, would she willingly step down and pass the mantle, or something else?

I have this really elaborate au in my head (which also doesn’t need to be in this au, could just be regular Bruce but since we’re TALKING about the GBAU-) basically she kills the joker after Jason’s death and then retires—like she can’t be the symbol anymore after that, and she just like. Stops? Batman disappears, the JL doesn’t know where he went, Gotham doesn’t know where he went, and Bryce Wayne just kinda retreats from the public eye and no amount of begging from Tim will get her to go back to Batman-ing (and he eventually gives up, maybe he tries being a vigilante himself, maybe he forms the titans, maybe he dies.)

And then Jason comes back and he’s so thrilled to see his mom but also he sees how much killing has broken her (Jesus, when did she get so old???? She never was, that’s not his mom-) but like that’s the proof he needed that she loved him, and it’s great, Jason Todd is legally alive again! Huge! But he’s guilty and miserable and Bryce is also guilty and miserable! And no one goes to therapy bc they NEVER TALK ABOUT ANYTHING!

But if you want to continue this au in a happy way maybe they do and then Jason and Dick and Bryce get to just be . People. Like a normal family that loves each other and also are constantly haunted by the spectre of all the people they couldn’t save!

OR:

I think Bryce’s intention is to keep going until her body won’t let her anymore, and then retire it. (Shes very stubborn about injuries ofc.) But it was never supposed to be something handed down, it would take a lot of convincing from Damian and Cass for her to see it that way, personally I’m partial to Cass getting the cowl—and in this au I feel like it’s even more like. Impactful?? Idk if I’m making sense.

[mewsmagic]

One thing about avemuji ep 11 I haven’t seen anyone talking about yet is how (if her story IS at least partially true) Hatsune’s obsession with Saki started because she had everything she didn’t have:

She was a legitimate child of their family and thus had her existence accepted and loved, at the same age as her also

She was happy, rich, had a loving family and a healthy childhood

She was allowed to be close to her family (while Hatsune grew up hearing about how she was a secret, not supposed to exist, was prohibited from getting any closer to her other side of the family, and especially from that random girl her age for no reason she knew of)

Like yeah I did ship them at the start but if we put the ship aside for a moment to think about what this episode brought to the table, there’s SO MUCH to think about yk?

Whether you think her obsession is love, platonic or whatever (personally, I think it is limerence, in the platonic way just bc limerence can get that crazy without being romantic, but I do get where yall are coming from if you think it’s inherently romantic)

What intrigues me the most is that it didn’t start all that emotionally attached, it was mostly the forbidden factor. The fact that she wasn’t allowed to meet this one girl who had everything she didn’t, and I’m damn sure it could even be the start of this forbidden “love” also, attraction for what is forbidden even though she hates herself for feeling that way

But then she actually got to learn about Sakiko through Uika (if Uika exists), she learnt that she was kind and liked adventure, liked catching bugs, didn’t bother making friends with a lower class girl, and ultimately, she met her herself and became human for the first time because of her…

That tells me so much about how it started, how it progressed and how it got this bad, you know? And damn I think it is intriguing, definitely not romantic bc I really don’t think they’re romanticizing any of it, but like… That’s kinda how mental illnesses work

As a neurodivergent myself, I really appreciate how they’re picking the taboo aspects of mental illness and portraying them through these characters. Especially Hatsune, who’s clearly shown multiple times to feel so much shame for how she feels

I’m soooo damn sure she doesn’t want to feel that way for someone she’s been prohibited to meet all her life, much less her niece, knowing she’s her niece 😭😭😭😭 she knows it’s wrong, and super embarrassing, she freaked out when Nyamu sent that message, she got scared by her own intrusive thought of killing Saki’s bff just because of her possessiveness, she’s scared of herself!!!!

This is also why I think she may be exaggerating, especially those aspects of her story that paint her as the villain yk? She can’t see herself as anything less than the evil villain so she makes up excuses as to why she’s guilty for everything, and damn that’s so real of her you knowwww 😭😭😭😭

Like I mentioned though, I ship uisaki more platonically right now LOL I really wish they could develop a more real friendship going forward, the relationship they have right now is purely on Hatsune’s head, a fantasy, and Saki is painfully aware and uncomfortable by this at this point

But like Saki showed in this episode, she still cares about her and is worried about whatever is going on, so I really don’t think their potential is lost already 😔 they definitely need to start as friends and with Hatsune growing out of her limerent obsession though

[mass-angel-exodus]

Yeah,I'm the anon from before,but I mean,a lot of ppl jump up to Julia wanting to wait for marriage bc she's religious??),which is funny bc being religious doesn't equal waiting until marriage to have sex, a lot of extremist religious ppl have sex and enjoy it before marriage, or non obsessed christians that don't practice it do it too, however I mean I assumed that Julia wanting it,feeling desire but feeling guilty for being lustful bc "sex is wrong unless baby making" (kinda like me,like I do want sex but also I'm scared what if I'm get pregnant,what if my parents find out?, bc I'm Hispanic and Latina,and raised christian,and my mom waited to her 27s and she views her virginity as precious and she thinks all the guys want to take it and break up with you after using you,there,so you grow terrified that becomes true) idk how present Jane was for her to guide her (that guys pressuring is not okay), or the SA shit, which it's not to discard (bc Nemlei doesn't shy away from rape) but it would seem insensitive in his part, or Andrew pressuring, or both, or one of them.

Oh yeah that’s 100% how i see it too. I’m catholic and I have a lot of restrictions on sex and virginity. Partially for religious reasons but mostly for non religious protective reasons. So when I saw Julia’s hesitance about having sex with Andrew it didn’t seem religious nessicarily, Just a combination of having the guilt of sex, that probably being her first time having sex, Her wanting to have sex with someone who she wanted to be in an established relationship with but wasn’t giving her that. While I don’t think Julia is against having sex and feeling lust, or at least isn’t as sex repulsed as Ashley, her libido is definitely way lower than Andrew and the way he described it made it sound like he was the one initiating it and she was hesitant (for all of the above reasons) even if she wanted to have sex.

I feel like for as empathetic and caring Andrew can be, he only extends that luxury to Ashley and no one else. If it wasn’t for her Andrew seems like a very selfish character emotionally. And I get the feeling that he believes that he doesn’t need to be empathetic to Julia’s feelings because

1. He’s emotionally fatigued by Ashley so he can barely extend that to anyone else

2. She’s not Ashley

3. She’s such a doormat and constantly puts his feelings over her own that he probably never even thought of the fact that he was being selfish cause he was used to this behavior form her.

And I think Jane knows that Julia can be a huge push over which is why she’s so protective of her. Like she never liked Andrew from day 1 and Julia knew that. So if Andrew did intentionally or unintentionally SA her she probably wouldn’t have told Jane cause she knows that Jane would do something about it. But Julia unfortunately still loves him and is also afraid of him as well as his sister Ashley and doesn’t want anyone to get harmed because of her. With how much Julia neglects her own feelings and needs she probably feels like she would be over reacting for feeling bad , she would feel way worse if someone got harmed because she couldn’t keep her emotions to herself. So I doubt she would tell Jane both out of fear of judgement and fear of causing trouble. Like Jane would not be happy to know that the man she constantly warned her sister about did something to her. She wouldn’t want Jane to think less of her especially if they were raised with religious values.

I hope Nemeli brings Jane back in the next chapter. It would be cool to compare sibling relationships in tcoaal. Like compare the toxic obsessive nature of Andrew and Ashley to the healthy protective nature of Julia and Jane to the neglectful abandoned relationship between Renee and Connie.

It was really satisfying to see someone stand up for Julia through all this. I hope they bring Julia back and they have a sister battle between Jane who wants to kick Andrew’s teeth in and Ashley who wants to protect her brother and beat the shit out of both Jane and Julia.

[misqnon]

Thoughts on Sanji enjoying feminine things?

short thoughts: i love it and think he should do it more often esp because i feel like he definitely does in canon and just won't actually let himself do so. i don't draw him in drag all the time for no reason

long thoughts: [breathes in]

i could write an entire essay on sanji's character in terms of femininity, queerness, and misogny BUT we don't have time for all that so let's just focus on the fact i feel like there's actual evidence he enjoys traditionally non-masculine things and oda actually puts him in situations to highlight this pretty frequently

-i am guilty of calling sanji a metrosexual . it's a stupid word but it fits him. he's the only guy on the ship that showers every day and the only other ppl on the ship who do this are the two girls. man also wears suits like mad and has a fairly...daring fashion sense outside of that (granted, most ppl in one piece do.) but he just cares about these things more than most guys! and that doesn't even seem like something that came from his upbringing at baratie bc...no one else dressed like that. he just does that himself. i also can't stop thinking about the sbs where someone suggested sanji would be a stylist in real life and oda went "yes agreed"

-the kamabakka moment...okay terribly offensive and transmisogynistic (won't get into it bc i have several times before) BUT if we can take one thing from that it's that sanji *did* dress up in makeup and a dress and like. frolic with the okama. it's framed as "against his will" but he definitely could have torn that shit off quickly and easily enough, yet oda decided to imply sanji enjoyed it for at least a time before he chickened back out and called the place hell for 2 years. yea, it was probably for oda's idea of 'comedic effect' but this is, once again, one piece. sometimes the humor is part of the plot. sometimes very real information is given through the guise of humor. going off of this u could mention that (also offensive but meant to be funny) joke with the blood donation scene from fishman island

-idk just something about the way oda writes him fighting lots of queer or non-conventionally masculine characters. i feel like it says something about sanji having his own internal struggle about his masculinity- which we know must be true bc of his whole list of virtues he never breaks a la women because of his upbringing with good ol' fashioned zeff and uh. "men should be war machines" germa over here. he fights bon clay and queen for christ sake.

-the scene where he's like happy as a clam to be in nami's body in punk hazard is another comedy gag that's also a little . interesting. I could say oda just keeps accidentally coding him but I feel like oda's very intentionally with his characterization and the subtlety of it

-overall he's just clearly so interested in masculinity since zeff raised him to be that way and he holds zeff in such high regards in combination with his background with germa, his mother and his sister, leading to a I Have To Be A Perfect Gentlemen And Also Respect Women by Putting Them On the Highest of Pedestals. and this in turn has made him reluctant to engage with femininity in any way that could be perceived as Not fitting this manly persona he's made for himself, yet he keeps getting put up against it in various small moments in the series whether comedic or not. I don't think oda frames sanji's relationship with masculinity entirely as a character flaw or weakness to be fixed, bc oda seems to respect sanji's views/they align with oda's own views. BUT I do think he knows it's partially susceptible to change and....he makes Sanji encounter these things so often for a reason. does that make sense?

in my ideal world sanji 20 years in the future is a bit more feminine even if he's still a casanova ladies man. like he accepted the okama influence in his life, he's just more quiet about it, lmao. I mean did u see his hair for oda's 40 yr old design

so yeah. he does, I think. quietly and deep down.

[2000sangel]

hii! could u separate headcanons for Husk and Vox x Male Overlord! Reader who is kind and sweet but has anger issues? love your writing!

Of course! I didn't go too in depth with the Overlord part simply bc I had no idea what powers they'd have - could edit these so they're more specific ^^

dividers : cafekitsune

Husk / Vox x Overlord! Reader with Anger Issues

Husk

✦ Husk appreciates your kind nature; it’s really admirable how you always try to be sweet to everyone, even to people he wouldn’t be able to be that way with. Especially with you being an Overlord, this is quite the rare attribute.

✦ He also loves when your kindness is directed towards him; even though he doesn’t really like to admit it, he’s a bit lazy, so any act of service is greatly appreciated. Also, after a tiring day of tending to the bar and listening to other demons’ worries and struggles, he really needs someone who’s willing to lend a listening ear to him in return, and you’re usually the first individual who’s willing to do that.

✦ Sometimes though, and Husk knows this, anger gets the best of you.

✦ The first time this happens, he’s taken aback: kind words are replaced with spewed insults and sarcasm over things that he considers small or petty; he might even try to hold you back if you try to get physical or break something over whatever’s happening, enraging you even more.

✦ When your anger subsides a little and all you’re left with are anxious feelings, you break down and tell him that this is ‘the real you’, and confess to struggling with anger issues. Expecting him to be afraid and leave you, you’re surprised when he reassuringly pats your back and tells you that he gets it, everyone feels angry sometimes, it’s not something you need to feel guilty over.

✦ Being a very calm individual in general, Husk understands that the worst thing he could do would be to lash out in response to your own anger. Instead he gives you all the space that you need and tries to understand what your triggers are so he can avoid angering you himself.

✦ He’s also aware that he shouldn’t be expected to fix your anger issues and he is in no place to be trying to do so, so the best he can do is stay calm when you’re angry and offer you comfort when you calm down.

✦ He absolutely refuses to make you alcoholic drinks, especially when you’re not in a good mood. Alcohol is known to impair cognitive function, and he doesn’t want to be a partial reason as to why you get angry. He tries to bring this up in a moment where you’re calm and relaxed so you can understand his reasoning. Instead he mixes you non-alcoholic drinks and he’s willing to make you a simple tea or infusion to help with the nerves.

✦ Overall, unlike other demons, Husk is not really afraid of you despite you being a powerful Overlord who could destroy several things in one snap of your fingers. If you do end up making use of your powers though, it’s going to be harder for Husk to try and hold you back or get some sense into you.

Vox

✰ Vox surprisingly has the ability to stay calm in most situations; as seen in the series, he doesn’t get upset when his phone gets thrown against the wall and ends up broken or when others around him are angry.

✰ So, when it comes to you having anger issues, he doesn’t have much of a reaction. He’s not scared of you being an Overlord, besides he can defend himself very well if needed.

✰  At first he might make the mistake of using his acoustokinesis if you’re straight up yelling at him, to get some sense into you, but, when he realizes it’s very much like yelling back, he’ll stop and give you space to rant instead.

✰ He might even excuse himself for a while until you’ve calmed down if it gets really bad, and come back later to comfort you the best way that he can. Sometimes breaks and time alone can be very helpful when it comes to anger, they give us time to think and come up with a better solution that isn’t yelling or mistreating things.

✰ Vox also knows that your anger doesn’t really define you, and that you’re actually a really pleasant individual to have around; your kindness and sweetness are a much appreciates breath of fresh air at the V tower, you’re usually the one dealing with other demons’ problems and trying to help everyone.

✰ You’ve also tried multiple times to help Vox with matters regarding Alastor, but he reassured you that he could deal with it on his own or get somebody else to help.

✰ He’s also grateful for smaller things, like how you always tell him if there’s something on his screen or how you’ve helped him several times to tend to his aquarium. Your kindness really isn’t a quality to be ignored, especially when you’re surrounded by people like Valentino.

✰ You actually have helped Vox calm down after certain situations as well; he might be well mannered around others and able to keep a straight face at most things, but he does get irritated as well, so who can give him better advice than a person who deals with anger on almost a daily basis, really?

✰ It’s also very validating when you seek each other’s comfort; one of you will be ranting, and the other will agree that whatever thing you’re talking about was very annoying.

[travtism]

Hiya! I left a super long comment on your fic "god loves you, but not enough to save you" and I was kicking my feet and giggling when I saw your reply to it! I was almost about to reply to your reply, but I figured you're on tumblr, i'm on tumblr, I can send you an ask about it!

Anyway, I've got to check out the rest of your fics because diving deep into the implications of the "flex" nickname under the assumption that Travis has a history of csa is something I would eat up. I love the way your reply addressed the overcompensation of masculinity that Travis performs to lash out at the way his dad treated him.

And there is so so much to talk about in the way that Travis uses religion to process and contextualize the world around him. I love what you said in your reply ("he’s comforted by the idea of God forgiving him for what he perceives as something to feel guilty abt but he’s frustrated by the idea that God isn’t helping him, then he begins to think WHY isn’t God helping him which leads to self blame and then it just gets worse and worse") and I think this analysis can 100% be applied to his connection with Lottie and her Wilderness religion. I will never stop thinking about the fact that Travis is hallucinating Lottie when he and Nat have sex for the first time, in the classic sort of glowing, halo, mystical way that Angels appear before people in Catholicism. Ever since I've seen it, I've been wondering what that scene could mean, and I think your words are giving me new ideas of how to think about it. Could Travis be using Lottie's spiritualism and Wilderness religion as a way to compensate or make up for all the ways that God didn't help him? I can't stop thinking about it now.

This is a really long winded way of saying that I loved your fic, I loved your reply to my comment, and thank you for giving me so many new things to think about!

HELLO OMG ITS UUUU ilysm ur long comments make my dayyyy

the idea of the whole flex nickname w the context of travis being a csa victim is just. ouch. like poor kid imagine going through that and then kids at school start spreading rumours that you’re flexible enough to suck ur own dick at the ripe age of 12 like DAMNNNN cannot catch a break (also his dad would have heard people calling him that and probably would have learned the origin of the nickname so yeah. that’s something.)

oh i definitely think travis’ exaggerated toxic masculinity from s1 would definitely be partially bc of the way his dad treats him, kevin alves has said in an interview that travis uses his toxic masculinity as a shield so he can lash out before anyone uses his emotions and vulnerability against him so in this context if you think abt one of the main things that would be making him so vulnerable… i can definitely see him lashing out with all that bc of his dad, trying to prove to himself and everyone else that he’s still manly enough despite what he’s going through and how it makes him feel

i rlly think travis’ relationship w religion is such a gray area bc yeah, at a surface level you look at a kid Losing His Shit, basically developing ocd around religion and getting to the point of self harm and you would think “holy shit. religion is not helping him.” but at the same time these behaviours probably would develop in him anyway 😭 religion is just the OUTLET he chooses for it, it’s like an excuse i guess. he’s going through intense trauma and he’s developing these issues anyway but it’s religion which he latches into because it DOES help him in some ways! praying gives him something to focus on, like i wrote in the fic, he doesn’t even know WHY he’s praying at one point, he just does it because it feels right whether because it’s a routine he’s comfortable with while the rest of his life is such a mess or because it’s a compulsion that he needs to do to feel Right, it’s familiar and that helps him.

and yesss all of his religious issues translate into the wilderness w lottie and her beliefs, he likes the comfort of something to latch onto, something to give things up to and feel like it’s actually making a difference, the belief that there IS a force that can decide to help him or not. but then the wilderness takes so much from him: his dad (despite how conflicted he feels about that, losing his dad is clearly still very difficult), it nearly takes travis himself at doomcoming, it takes javi for two months only for javi to come back and the wilderness takes him again, permanently this time, it tries to take nat and possibly even takes akilah (though we don’t know for sure yet) so it rlly seems like the wilderness has it out for him in particular sometimes 😭 and ofc travis will notice this and be torn up, wondering what he’s done to displease the wilderness and what he needs to do to please it again

oh and lottie appearing almost as an angel when in reality he’s hallucinating as a result of the trauma he has from her at doomcoming 🚬

AGAIN thank u sm for all these long replies i loveeee discussing stuff i write and it’s sm fun to see what people have to say

[alwaysyouuuuuu]

So i was thinking about your Wolfstar Marvel AU again (it should pay rent with how much it's spinning around my head) and like,,,, Sirius not having any kind of closure about Remus,,, he doesn't know what happened to him, they never found a body or any traces of him and then he was pronounced dead and Sirius just. Doesn't know. He doesn't even know why they took Remus in the first place. And he probably feels guilty about it too (bc ofc he would!!!). Just, the lack of closure of it all, the big question mark haunting him, up until 70+ years later when he's face-to-face with Remus again (I'm loving it)

Hi hi hi!!!! 💕💕💕 Thank you so much for the ask! I am so happy we both find it consuming haha and I agree. AU needs to start paying me hourly wages for just how much it keeps me up and wondering at night. I would be in tears and at the end of my wit, if I had to do just part of this research in school (I was not into history or any literature for school, and that's putting it mildly.) and now I do this willingly lol.

You know one of those, "I'm so glad you asked"- *7 hour long vm* memes? I fear this will end up like that. Bear with me.

Before we get into that, I'll clear up some background? So Remus was first taken along with a lot of their troop (ambush?), and they were partially injected (plot reasons plot reasons!! I feel like you can guess why!!) and the Sirius and co rescued them etc etc. And then Remus was targeted specifically.

So before the permafrost, I feel the situation was very bad for Sirius. For one, he would have agreed to the Serum in the first place because Remus was in captivity (also for the war effort, of course, but to Sirius, at that point there really was no room for question which may have been there otherwise), and then he got Remus back. Just to lose him again.

And then, to the Military and almost everyone else, Hope and Lyall Lupin lost a son, but Sirius Black lost a fellow soldier. He lost a comrade. Sure, they were friends, so him being vengeful is believable, to an extent. And no one really gets the blank look in his eyes, after.

I believe there was a quote that went like, "Should you lose a spouse/partner, there is a shared understanding of the relationship, but when you lose a friend, there's no tangible evidence, no widely acknowledged way to mourn."

Except, for Sirius, he did lose his partner, love of his life and dearest friend of so many years. And no one understands. Maybe James and Lily know, but it is the 40s. Realistically, they are quiet about it at best. For him it is both, and all the more painful. And he doesn't get exactly why Remus was targeted either. Remus was at an integral position in the OSS, unusual for his age, recruited at the very beginning, one of the sharpest minds, so it could have been that. And god, he was cold blooded when he got to fighting. But of course, he cannot shake the feeling that it was because of him.

So, in that time, the days he spent looking for Remus with James and Lily, (which really wasn't much, they would not have been allowed to!) he is partially cynical. Not to the point of self-blaming but enough to self-destruct. James tries to get him out of it, but Lily grits her teeth. She doesn't say much, because she understands, I believe, how much at that point he just wants it to end.

*BAM* permafrost.

After he gains consciousness, he would have blanked out for a while, because what even is this? But he doesn't, because after the first few excruciating minutes, when the blood is pounding in his chest, looking at every flash of light, every building and car that look unnatural, really, the first thing he processes is Moody telling him that the War is over. Good, at least something went well, he thinks.

They tell him many soldiers were rescued, because that's the first thing he asks. After it sinks in, he wants to hope, and maybe he does. Because this is real, he can see it. As outlandish as it is, he is in the future. If this can be real, how foolish would it be to hope that maybe Remus made it too? He would be old, and he would have lived his life. Maybe with someone else, and that's okay. If he gets to see him one more time, Jesus, it's okay.

They tell him what happened with HYDRA and his family. They tell him about James Potter and how he revolutionized weapons, they tell him about Lily Potter, who later went on to join the NSA. God, he gets fucking giddy hearing all of that, because it worked out. For someone, it did. For James and Lily, it did. He wants to meet Harry.

And he starts to have a nagging thought, because with how they speak of and to him, maybe they would have mentioned his known childhood friend. And Remus was known to his own credit.

So he asks, slowly about one Remus Lupin?

And lo and behold. They know of him of course, of course, he was Captain America's best friend. But nothing was known of him post war.

He tries to hold his face and nods, but Moody gives him a strange look. Tells him that he'll look into it for him. He tamps it down, though, there is no point in a wishful fantasy. He would have begged Moody if required, but there really is no point. And he doesn't think he can open his mouth without saying something incriminating.

Moody offers him the initiative, of course, but they tell him to take a breath, see the world, find himself first. And he does, he takes a few days. But then he gets time to think about it, to mull things over, to reevaluate his last choices. When he is trying to ease into the new world, he is busy, things are overwhelming. But once he gets home, he spirals. He remembers how panicky he had been during the first rescue mission. He had been desperate. And what if that clued them in? There were others in the OSS. So why just Remus?

It had to be him.

So he throws himself into missions, trains hard, exhausts himself so doesn't have to think. He does what he's always been doing, he helps SHIELD and doesn't question much, because he is still processing. Some things stick out but one can only handle so much, yeah? Besides, James and Lily were the co-founders.

He finds out. Well. Many things about his past and it's just so much (I'll stop or this itself will spiral to 3k.)

I feel he's quite mercurial at times in these days. Unsettled, but he keeps going. He drinks sometimes, gets shit faced. Those days are increasing, really.

Then he meets Elena.

And there is something striking about her. Such a young girl, and he can see it in her eyes that she has seen a lot. Too much. He sees himself in her. And he is protective. He is maybe a little taken aback. Because she seems so much... like an old soul.

And Elena is drawn to him too. She opens up, slowly, slowly, which she doesn't normally. But he is fiery. Like her. And they mostly have the same stances. She doesn't speak of her childhood, and so he doesn't ask. She does mention she had a dad, and though seemingly not for long, she remembers her name from him.

She seeks out his company and it soothes something in him. I feel he's a little more settled? With time? I mean it's hard to pity yourself when there is someone dragging you out to bowl and join soccer clubs, when that someone is a loner too. Even though thinking of Remus' hurts a little more each day, because he feels that Elena and Remus would get along so well. Man she even fights like him.

So when he sees Remus again, it is whiplash of the worst kind. Remus is just there. Because it is Remus and it is not, and he is standing there just staring because this Remus even fights the same. And he sees Elena standing frozen there, and it suddenly hits him that she looks... like Remus.

Except for her eyes and it is like he is watching everything from afar. All he can do try to hold Remus back. Until Neville flies them away.

Because what has his life come to?

Elena is not responding. She is not even looking at him. And Sirius is thinking a thousand miles an hour. I think he'd find out everything he can about whoever this Winter Soldier is.

Before they finally bring R in for questioning I feel S would be overcome with guilty and longing and a lot of painful confusion, really.

And mostly, Sirius is guilt ridden. Remus was in there, with them doing who knows what to him, for 70 years? He never deserved that. Sirius was outwardly rebellious. It was his family helping fund HYDRA. And then there's Elena. Is Elena Remus'? Because how in the world did Remus manage to have a kid while he was trapped in a facility?

There is something really cool about her name. if you look closely.

Outside of his blackouts, Remus solely spoke Russian to everyone around him for 70 years right? So it seems logical that's what he'd speak to elena in that environment, mind controlled half the time etc, before they were separated (she was like. 7) and he'd find it a little difficult to slip into English again, or that's what Elena thinks. So when he demands to meet her first, she storms in, defensive stance (Sirius is standing right outside by the way) but Remus just blinks. Because they said it was Elena Chernova. But it's not. It's Helena Black.

And Sirius just. Dies a little.

Basically. He is spiralling.

So is this, so I'll stop here.

Based on this post. + snippet.