#i think hes being sarcastic (its unclear. the jokes in this are awkward) but i was only half paying attention

[t4tails]

[once-upon-an-animation]

Frozen II (Spoilery) Review

So I went and saw Frozen in theatres last night, and... I like it, but I was somewhat disappointed. Not sure if that was because I spoiled most of the movie for myself already before going in, but then again, most of the stuff I was disappointed with was writing issues as opposed to feeling underwhelmed, so meh. Here goes:

The Good:

- I actually really like most of the sound track. AIF, STNC, ITU, & SY were instant faves and are on repeat. TNRT isn’t really a fun song to listen to, but the lyrics are pretty powerful. 

- The premise of F2. One of my complaints about F1 was the lack of lore and explanation for any of the magic. I’m glad that this film took an origin-story approach, and dove deeper into the world of magic in Arendelle. Much-needed.

- The outfits. Elsa’s new fit at the end of the movie was absolutely gorgeous, and I really like her with her hair down. Anna’s travelling outfit (with the cape) is my favourite, and I think I’m the only one who really likes her coronation dress (at least the colours anyway). But I think I do prefer some of her coronation dress concepts from The Art of Frozen: 

- Matthias is a treasure. Enough said. 

- Olaf’s death scene. Wow. 

- Iduna’s lullaby being a theme for the movie was awesome. It’s somewhat haunting, but also inviting.

- The animation was stunning. The color scheme for the movie worked really nicely, and Show Yourself was easily one of the prettiest animation scenes I’ve scene in a while. Especially when Ahtohallan revealed the memories in a drop of snow; absoluting breathtaking. 

- For all the bitching that everyone did prior to the film, the separation wasn’t even that bad. Everyone seemed pretty chill about the whole thing, and no one looked like they were heart broken. Y’all definitely stressed yourselves out for nothing.

The Bad:

- F2 had this weird thing going on where there was no real plot, but also, a lot was happening in every scene. I think Jen and the rest of the team overextended themselves with the backstory of Arendelle, Northuldra, the spirits, Iduna, Agnarr, Elsa, Ahtohallan, character arcs, etc. so everything felt so convoluted. They could have definitely simplified some things so it was easier to follow, tied certain aspects together, or at least get rid of the B-plots so the main story could get more attention.  

- Because of how much they had to cram in, the pacing was far too quick. They were skipping important transitions and jumping from scene to scene, and they didn’t allow enough time for some of the events and dialogue to flesh themselves out and settle into the story. Slow-down scenes are very important for a movie to feel like comfortable and evenly-paced, and F2 not only didn’t have enough of those, but when they did, they rushed through it and moved on to a new idea too quickly. It was like they were desperate to keep spoon-feeding us information. 

- Speaking of spoon-feeding info, waaaaaay too much of the dialogue was expositional. Most of the interactions only served to explain what was happening either to the audience or to other characters, and they didn’t feel like the natural and relaxed dialogues that were present in F1. The writing team really disobeyed the “show, don’t tell” rule in this movie, and it was very apparent. 

- One of my biggest complaints about F1 was Elsa’s lack of personality outside of her magic (and Elsa feeling more like a plot device), and it looks like the writers didn’t bother to fix that in F2. While I understand that depression and anxiety can be that overwhelming, it doesn’t work for Elsa as a fictional character to not have any shining aspects of her character outside of the issues she has with her magic. Is she funny? Is she sarcastic? What does she like to talk about on a regular basis? Is she really passionate about art or music? Does she practice an instrument or draw in her spare time? What does she like to crack jokes about? Who are her friends and what do they do when they hang out? It seems like Elsa’s magic defines every aspect of her and I don’t like that. She needs to have stronger characterization. I feel like no one at Disney really knows how to write her as a complex, dynamic, and fluid person outside of her powers. 

- Everybody’s character arc sucked and/or didn’t exist. Almost no one grew fundamentally, and if they did, their arc was written so poorly and better resembled a scatter-plot. Elsa started and ended the movie acting the same way. There’s no significant difference in her personality or the way she interacts with anyone or her view on the world. Olaf....???? His “some things change” arc was just weird all around. Anna did grow as far as her constantly trying to watch over Elsa, but her queenship should have had an arc too. While I like Anna as queen, it felt random, and really lacked build-up and foreshadowing. It also didn’t help that the scene where she and Elsa talked about making her queen didn’t exist. Again, skipping important transitions. And Kristoff...oh sweet Kristoff...

- I don’t ship Kristanna, but I’m not anti-Kristanna or anti-Kristoff either. I don’t mind their relationship at all. But this proposal plot was not it. Not only was it incredibly poor timing, but why did the writers think that was the best they could do with Kristoff? You have a reindeer ice man going from living in a mountain to being a part of the royal family, and proposing was the best challenge you could think of? How about the ups and downs of adjusting to royal life? Where is my Kristoff feeling out of place in the family because he’s awkward at balls, uncomfortable in stuffy clothing, getting nervous about greeting royal dignitaries, wanting to give commands to soldiers but not sure if it’s his place, wanting to contribute more to Arendelle but not knowing what to do, feeling like he’s not a good fit? Where is his sense of growth as he realizes that he doesn’t have to change who he is at heart to fit in to the royal family, and that he does have a place in Arendelle and in Anna’s life? Where is his growth in getting comfortable with royal life? This was such an easy option, come on!

- Lost in the Woods is a good stand alone song, but it should have been written differently for the film. It really kills the mood of the film and doesn’t vibe with the setting, and while the animation is hilarious, it also makes Kristoff look kind of silly. I loathe the Lopezes for always opting for poppy/rock showtunes, and not writing melodies and instrumentals that actually work for Frozen’s time setting. I don’t think they understand how much some of their songs really draw people out of the film. When I’m Older is also a pointless song. You can tell that its only in there for shits and giggles so Olaf would have something to sing.They should have had him sing while he was dying or something.

- Not enough of the supporting characters. What’s the point of adding Matthias or a whole tribe with Yelana, Honeymaren, and Ryder if you’re not going to do anything with them fundamentally? 

- Not enough Agnarr and Iduna. I actually found Iduna’s arc to be far more interesting than any of the main characters, and yet, they didn’t give enough screen time for her backstory. Ughhhhhhh. 

- Too many callbacks to F1. Some of them were cute, but the rest were super corny, completely unnecessary, and just a nod to the fandom. If you’re going to do a callback, it’s best done in a way that’s actually relevant to the story.  

- I would mind the separation even less if Elsa’s reason for staying in the forest wasn’t soooooo unclear. Why did she need to stay? Who assigned her the role of protector? What is she protecting against? Who currently cares about threatening the spirits? 

- Arendelle should have gotten destroyed period. Not only is Elsa conveniently getting unfrozen, saved by the Nokk, and arriving at Arendelle all in time to stop the flood with an ice wall so incredibly predictable and cliche, but it would have also fit into the “some things do change” theme that they kept literally stating. Also, Kristoff likely being good with carpentry could have really shined here in helping Arendellians rebuild, and if he had the arc I explained before, then this would have been his moment of finding his place. Genius, isn’t it?

- With all the lore they added, they still didn’t explain the trolls OR Kristoff’s backstory. What is their place in this story? How come Grand Pabbie knew nothing of the spirits or the dam story, or the Northuldra? Where the heck is Kristoff from? How come Runeard never tried to destroy the trolls? 

- Iduna just said “Anna who?” huh? No acknowledgement for her other daughter whatsoever. 

- This movie felt more like an expansion than a necessary story. 

- Okay, I’m done. 

[denial-island-spn]

[Admin Island]

Well after sundown

Megs steps out of her cabin, having spent most of her day catching up on the administrative / business aspects of the island that Suzy and Krys weren’t able to handle in her absence (mostly because of their moral fortitude and desire not to commit any felonies by forging her signature on various things).  While the night air is usually comfortable, the ocean breeze tends to make her feel chilled, and she’s wrapped herself in a shawl in anticipation that she’ll eventually grow chilly.  

She makes her way down the path around the outer edge of the cabins, not even thinking about where her feet are taking her.  It isn’t until she comes across a figure that she realizes she’s headed toward (human) Gabe’s place.  He’s standing just beyond the path, hands in his pocket staring out in the darkness in the direction of the water.  

He looks up when she reaches that awkward distance where she’s too far to be clearly heard over the waves but still close enough where it would be weird not to greet him.  She gives him a small wave, a smile immediately appearing.  The one he gives in return is automatic, weighted, and she knows tonight is not going to end as simply as she has hoped.  

Megs:  *becomes concerned at how quickly he looks away from her once she approaches* Hey.  Everything alright?

(H) Gabe: *keeping his gaze trained in front of him*  I think it’s time we talked about… the things my counterpart alluded to back in Raphael’s world.

Megs: *stiffens as a snarling mass of memories and emotions have her physically reacting to the reminder that place even exists*  Ok.  Um, if you could just hit me with it, that might be best  I tend to do better when these things aren’t drawn out.  

(H) Gabe: *takes a breath, his rising nerves causing him to just blurt it out* You’re a mate and you’re activated.

Megs: *blinks* I’m… Are you drunk?

(H) Gabe: *turns to give her an irritated look* Do I seem drunk to you?

Megs: I mean… you’re not not speaking English right now… but I also wouldn’t say you’re actually speaking English.

(H) Gabe:  *flatly*  I’m being serious.  You’re meant to be paired with an angel and the process for that has been started.

Megs: Ok - I - what?  Why would I be meant to be paired with an angel? *the term he’s used finally sinks into her mind* Wait, mate as in soulmate?

(H) Gabe: Soulmate is misleading in most people’s understanding of the word.  *frowns*  My explanation is misleading.  You have the capability to be an angel’s mate, you are not necessarily meant to be one.  Just like you’re not pre-destined to be with one specific being or even fated to be with anyone.  *catches the confusion on her features*  I… *sighs* It’s complicated.

Megs: *considers what he’s saying* Well… it’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.  *he glances sideways at her, trying to figure out if she’s taking this seriously at all*  Don’t look at me like that.  I’m not joking.

(H) Gabe: Neither am I.  Do you understand that this means?

Megs: Admittedly? Not a damn clue.

(H) Gabe: The simplest way I can explain it is there are a very small number of people in the universe that can have a special bond with one of us.  You happen to be one of those people.

Megs: *takes a breath as she tries, very hard, not to ask him if he’s accepted any special baked goods from the other Gabriel* Define “special bond”…

(H) Gabe: Kind of like when humans get married.  Although a little more permanent and a lot more fulfilling on every level possible.  

Megs:  … Oh.  

(H) Gabe: *finally turns and faces her fully, his brow arching high*  Oh?  That’s it?

Megs: *exasperation and tiredness bleed through the edge of her look* I trust you, Gabe, I really do, but telling me I’m a super special snowflake meant for one of you is a little far fetched.

(H) Gabe: *completely serious*  My counterpart saw it.  All the angels  in Raphael’s compound saw it.  He saw it.  It’s what made you so special to them.

Megs: *finally all the pieces slide into place as she thinks back to all the oddness she encountered* … Oh.  *the color recedes from her face*  I… think I need to sit down.  

(Human) Gabe sees her grow a little wobbly and quickly takes hold of her arms, guiding her over to the steps where they both take a seat.  They sit in silence for several minutes as she processes the information.  

Megs: *Swallows* I - I don’t understand what any of this means… being activated, rituals *her mind starts racing and the rest tumbles out of her mouth as she becomes anxious*  Does this mean I have to be with one of you?  *her eyes grow wider*  Do I even get to choose who I’m with?  

(H) Gabe: Woah, sweetheart, slow down.  Breathe.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, mate or not.  Like I said.  It’s not pre-destined.  You aren’t locked into one set path.  You’re just… kind of on it, at the moment.  *he tries to give her a reassuring smile*  The ritual and activation thing, I’ll admit, not the nicest sounding things after our experiences.  But it’s nothing more than a process that’s intended for a mate and an angel to show their intentions and open themselves spiritually so that they can be joined.  

Megs: *trying to keep up as all the pieces of information rattle around in her mind* But I don’t understand.  If I never went through a ritual, how can I be activated like you said?

(H) Gabe: *rubbing the back of his head* Sometimes having a level of intimacy with one of us can… sort of trip the circuit breaker, so to speak.   

Megs: *her eyes become the size of quarters and she looks almost terrified* Are you saying - the Gabriel here and I - we.... *everything shifts as it clicks into place, and suddenly she is furious, her voice rising steadily*  You don’t think this was important information for me to know when I was sleeping with an archangel?  

(H) Gabe:  *becomes defensive, throwing his hands up as his own voice grows in volume*  How was I supposed to know you two were bang buddies until after you decided to renovate your place with his dick? *pauses a moment* Wait, it can’t happen after only -- *his eyes darken* Just how much were you two --

Megs: *jabs a finger into him hard, cutting him off, her voice lowering with warning* None of your god damn business … and you *she jabs him again* should have told me the moment you figured it out.

(H) Gabe:  And how was I supposed to do that, exactly?  *sardonically* Hey, Megs, thanks for overlooking all the terrible things I did and giving me a new place to stay.  Let me put that all in jeopardy by telling you not only are you possibly one of Heaven’s oldest urban legends, but you might be the first one to exist in this world in millenia.  Possibly ever.  *points at her* Would you think I’m crazy?  Because that still sounds crazy to me.

Megs: *her brows draw together and her anger begins to give beneath her confusion*  What do you mean I may be the first to exist in millenia?

(H) Gabe: *gives her an incredulous look* Do you really think I just sat on my hands, waiting for your return every moment of every day since I’ve gotten here?  The library you have sitting around is unreal. ��I mean, the access you guys have to information is dangerous.  I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about maybe -- *she gives him a sharp that says now is not the time… or possibly I just need one more reason to justify stabbing you so please, go right ahead and give me one*  -- right.  Let’s save that for later.  *clears his throat* Long story short, I did my research.  The history here is vague, really vague, so much so your flyboys probably would never think to connect the dots… not that there were many to connect before you left… or possibly even now.

Megs: *losing her patience* What the hell does that even mean?

(H) Gabe: The magic or whatever it is that makes you what you are… it’s different here.  

Megs: *sarcastically* It’s different between worlds? What a revelation!

(H) Gabe: *glares and the archangel in him flares bright for a moment as he considers reminding her he’s not a being to be mocked.  He pushes aside his pride, however, and simply let’s it go*  I’m trying, kid.  Little limited these days by the human cognitive capacity *quickly adds* And no.  That’s not some underhanded comment.  It’s just a fact without the extra juice, I run a bit slower these days.  

He takes a breath, fingers digging into the corners of his eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts.  It takes him several moments to find the words adequate enough to relay his thoughts, which always tend to become a jumbled mess when it involves her directly.  He drops his hand, his gaze glancing over toward the nearby light source.

(H) Gabe: Ok.  Let’s pretend, for a moment, you are that torch *he gestures to the tiki torch lit at the side of the path*  At night it’s a beacon.  You can see that thing from clear down the beach.  The closer you get to it, the brighter it is, and the more you can appreciate the real beauty inherent in it’s light. *his voice softens slightly as he looks back to her*  You just can’t help but be drawn in by it.

Megs feels the warmth of his gaze as it jumps across the small space between them directly into her cheeks.  

(H) Gabe:  *he shifts, his eyes glancing back up at the flame*  Now you take that same torch and you light it in the day time.  It’s still there.  It burns just the same as it does now, but you hardly notice it in the sun.  *his eyes close for a moment as he slips back beneath the surface of his own memories*  Compared to many other places, it’s daytime in this world.  *his eyes open again, unreadable as they fall back to her*  And what you are becomes lost within the natural light.  Raphael’s world, in comparison, is the night, and you shine so bright against the darkness of that place… it’s a miracle my counterpart let you leave to begin with. 

Megs: What that Gabe said, about all those colors --

(H) Gabe:  Was true.  It’s unclear if it’s actually your soul or your general being, but whatever you want to call it, it’s you.  Kind of like when a male peacock presents its feathers, trying to attract a mate, you’re advertising yourself as available.  

Megs: You mean unclaimed.  

(H) Gabe: *grimaces* Technically yes, but that term is also misleading.  This entire process is about consent.  Your consent.  A bond will never form unless you choose an angel in return. *his features grow sober, gold muted beneath the weight of the seriousness he tries to impart*  That doesn’t mean that others understand the process, or that they wouldn’t necessarily try to claim you by force.  *Without thinking, he places a gentle finger beneath her chin* You don’t understand what you could be for one of us… it’s possible it’s beyond even my understanding.

Megs swallows, feeling drawn to the glow within gold as it sparks with an affection she’s not used to seeing.

(H) Gabe: All I know is it’s dangerous for you right now and that you need to be careful *as if remembering himself, his hand suddenly falls away, his look becoming tightly guarded*  Around any of us.  

Megs:  *uncertainly, as she watches him continue to retreat within himself*  Even you?

(H) Gabe: *smiles, though the hollowness behind it is unsettling as shadows creep across his gaze, though what’s more striking is the sadness that still lingers around the darks of his eyes, one that’s followed him to this world from his own* Especially me, sweet tart.    

Megs watches as he turns and walks back inside his own cabin.  She pulls her shawl tighter around her and for the first time in awhile, she’s uncertain whether or not she should follow him.

Without warning, Balthazar suddenly appears in front of her.  If he’s tried to make himself heard, she’s completely missed it.  The unexpected appearance has her nearly shrieking, though she manages to hold back on that as she leaps back, hand flying to her chest to keep her heart from bursting through it.

Megs: *testily* Jesus Christ, Balthazar, a little warning next time?

Balthazar: My apologies.  There is a situation down at the main island the vampire insisted you be made aware of.  

The angel holds out his hand expectantly.  She hesitates, her eyes flashing back up to (human) Gabe’s cabin as she thinks about the warning he’s imparted, only to find all the lights are out.  Whatever is wrong clearly cannot wait, not if she’s being sent a personal taxi to take over.  Steeling herself, she reaches out, taking Balthazar’s hand and with a flutter of wings they both disappear.  

[shinyobjectreviews]

I didn’t like Infinity War

Infinity War was much more flawed than I expected it to be. I definitely see how people could have fallen in love with it, there were some bold choices made and some strong performances, but I had so much trouble staying engaged in it that I didn't enjoy the film. I'll leave the spoilers for after the break, but let's just say I have a lot to say. I based my format roughly off of Moviebob’s “Really that Bad” because I like the way he admits some things are minor and some are not.

Stuff I liked

Everything looked nice. I really liked the design of most of the aliens, especially horn lady and squidward. They were well designed and well animated. I liked most of the planets and spaceships, even if they were a little derivative sometimes. This doesn’t mean much when the richest company in the world is funding the biggest movie in the world based on a series with years of design behind it.

The infinity stones did stuff. I was happy that the infinity stones kept their specific abilities, mostly. It wasn’t just “collect all the mcguffins,” they each retained their abilities, mostly. The set up from the previous movies actually payed off in this respect. I’ll give them a pass for ignoring the soul stone, which would be a little tough to pull off, and the mind stone, which was just what the last one.

Thanos was amazing. I loved Thanos as a character. He’s one of the best villains in movies I have ever seen. He had a clear goal (kill half the universe) with a clear and personal motive (finite resources on his planet) and a clear pathway to that goal (the stones). Every decision he made and every word he spoke came from that very clear background, which made all of it carry weight. He had a very clear goal that the heroes had to get in the way of, so the tension coming from him was real. The audience knew what would happen if he succeeded, so they were engaged, and they knew what he needed to do that, so they were interested in the decisions. There’s a reason he’s the main character of this film, to the point of being the protagonist.

Random ending stuff. I liked seeing Thanos get home, sit down, and smile. I like hoe they clearly show the gauntlet was cracked, meaning he spent his one shot. I liked the choice for silent credits, and the title turning to ash. I liked them saying Thanos will return to emphasize both that while his mission is over his story isn’t, and that he was in fact the main character.

Minor Stuff that bugged me

Tony got nanites. This was something that bugged me in Black Panther, too. Nanites are a sci-fi writers crutch to explain why someone can do ridiculous things that look cool but easy. The trouble is that it makes it very hard to understand exactly what Tony can do and know whether or not he is in danger. At one point, he turns his arm into a scary laser cannon, and later he turns it into a knife. Was there a reason he chose a knife instead of a gun? Is it just a knife or was it something else? The Iron Man franchise had previously put a lot of effort into showing exactly what his suits are capable of, and putting enough limitations on him that you can be worried about his safety. But when his suit can turn into anything with telepathic influence it’s hard to be concerned.

The tone was inconsistent. A lot of people bug Marvel about this, especially in Guardians 2 and Ragnorok, their tendency to have a nice moment then immidiatley cut it with a joke. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This film had some of that, but this time I noticed it within characters. Thor was simultaneously the saddened, desperate survivor and the boisterous, comical warrior. A lot of people liked the quiet moment he had with rocket, but to me it just felt so incredibly awkward. He lists off the people he lost, then chuckles, then rocket makes a sarcastic remark. It made me cringe.

Thanos tortured someone to get information from someone else... three times. First, he threatens Thor until Loki relents and gives him the cube. Then, later, he threatens Nebula until Gamora give him the location of the soul stone. Then again he threatens Tony until Strange gives him the time stone. It plays out exactly the same way each time. Each person swears they won’t give anything up, lets him interrogate twice, then gives up. It is repetitive and lazy writing. The very first time he did it I didn’t like it: it’s a super old cliche and an especially heinous one when you’re preventing the death of half the universe by letting your brother/sister/friend die.

Thor missed. Thor hit Thanos really hard with a weapon they had set up the whole movie as being able to kill Thanos, and he misses simply because he didn’t aim for a kill shot or lopping off an arm. I get that it’s just supposed to up the tragedy, making it even sadder that they lost when they were so close, but it wasn’t from not trying hard enough, or being unlucky, or being outsmarted, it was just because Thor was an idiot. A similar thing happened with Star-lord, but that was a little more forgivable since it was well set up and played well with the characters.

They break an infinity stone. Why can an ancient stone of limitless power from the big bang even be shattered, much less by someone who literally got their powers from the stone itself, and why does breaking this stone not result in anything other than a big yellow puff?

Thanos’s character is different from his previous appearances. His actions in the previous avengers films and in Guardains seems odd in retrospect. He literally gives away one of his infinity stones, despite in this movie being, in this movie, completely dedicated to finding them. He argues with Ronan in Guardians, but in this movie he’s calm with everyone. Granted, I like the new Thanos, but to everyone who says “they’ve been setting up Thanos for 10 years,” well, they’ve been setting up a different character. This one just has the same name, same daughter, and about half the attitude.

Bigger Issues

The characters were interchangeable. Marvel is wise enough to know only some of their characters will end up being popular. Spider-man shows up because he’s popular, but does’t do anything that any other hero couldn’t have done there. Tony goes to space, but if he had been ant-man or falcon instead, nothing would have been different. Thor had a Thor-specific plot (with Rocket for some reason), Gamora and Nebula had things only they can do, and arguably Scarlet witch and Vision, but everyone else was just generic fighter. Even Steve Rogers was nothing more than “a guy who knows another guy.” Wakanda served the exact same function as Sokovia in Avengers 2, it was just that Wakanda was popular. Tony never acted like an engineer, Hulk never acted like someone scared of their emotions, falcon was never loyal, spider-man unlearned his lesson from the first movie, the Guardians... well, they’re whole bit is that they’re weirdos in their own movies, so they didn’t seem that out of place. Still, it lessons the fun of throwing everyone into a movie together if they aren’t really doing anything that they need to be themselves to do. Everyone was there, but no one really needed to be.

Nobody does anything. I don’t mean this in the broader sense. I know that “the villain wins” sometimes makes it feel like the heroes didn’t get anything done, but usually you can have them get minor wins along the way, or build character, or get most of the way but fail in the end. Thor is the only one who gets a story like this: he must find or create a weapon that can kill Thanos. This involves going to a specific place, doing a specific thing, almost dying, but still coming out on top. Everyone else in the movie, though, has very unclear goals. They know they have to defeat Thanos, but that’s it. Tony and crew just follow a guy into space and end up on a planet where they plan to... do something? Fight Thanos, I guess? They don’t really have a plan, and the fight they do end up having is just a bunch of random punches and kicks. The whole fight at Wakanda is just a fight to save literally one guy but they act like its this huge war. The only character who makes meaningful choices or has actual growth is the main villain.

I stopped caring about death. The first character to die in the film is Heimdall, one of my favorites, but it’s sort of brushed away so I don’t really feel it. The next character to die is Loki, possibly the single most popular character in the Marvel universe. He dies graphically on-screen. It’s sad, but something about it lacks weight. This was not like agent Coulson dying in Avengers, or even like Quicksilver or Freya. This was like Captain Antilles dying at the beginning of Star Wars. It was a death to set up the villain and motivate the hero, which admittedly it did. But when the most popular character in your universe not to have a movie named after them dies in the first ten minutes, all the sudden death means nothing. People were so excited over the concept that anyone could die in this movie, but since none of the deaths were given time to grieve or even contemplate, they fell flat. I found myself detached from the characters. Since, as I pointed out above, all of the characters were interchangeable, I knew that anyone could die at any moment and not affect the overall story. In a film were major characters turn into minor characters, killing off a character always feels like killing off a minor character. I knew all these characters, cared about them in their movies, but in this movie none of them are doing anything so I don’t care. They all finished their arcs from their individual movies, they were complete characters, so killing them off just meant no more sequels. When the finger-snap happened, all I could think was “oh, there’s someone who’s contract ran out.”

Thanos was ridiculously overpowered. Thanos being a powerful and nigh-unstoppable force goes without saying. It’s a superhero team-up, of course you need someone powerful enough to require them teaming up. The issue is the word “nigh.” At the start of the film, he has the power stone. This is a good way to show how he’s strong enough to single-handedly take on the hulk and the asgardians. The power stone is also the vaguest of the infinity stones, so it’s a good one for him to start out with, because we can gauge its power level based on Thanos’s. Then, he gains the space stone, and gains the ability to teleport, which is actually a pretty clever way of allowing the villain to interact with multiple story arcs across space. Then, though, he gets the reality stone, and everything goes out the window. In a movie where the main plot is to kill the bad guy, it’s hard to think the heroes are going to be successful when he literally dies in front of us and comes back to life. The reality stone, as its name implies, alters reality. When Thanos comes back after dying, I at first assume this is some sort of illusion, and Gamora killed a fake Thanos. But then, Thanos turns Drax and Mantis into cubes and paper, meaning that it does have an effect on the real world. But maybe that, too, is an illusion, I think, in one of those “if you think you’re dead you’ll act dead sort of ways. But then he turns bullets into bubbles, and I lose all hope that Thanos can be defeated. From that point on, any times Thanos is losing, it feels forced and arbitrary, and anytime he’s winning it feels obvious and unpreventable. This would be fine if it happened at the end of the movie. The times stone is treated like this in the film: the moment that all hopes is lost. But instead, it happens less than halfway into the movie.

The action was poorly done. Constant shaky cam, the rabid aliens were poorly animated, characters doing their one thing they do then leaving, it was awful. The fight in Scotland is alright thanks to its minimal members and unique power sets. the fights with squidward were fine because his powers were clear and his limits were realistic. All the rest, though were a slog. The fight on Titan where everyone just kind of jumped around and somehow knew exactly how Strange would teleport them was boring to watch, especially when the color palette was “orange and brown planet, villain wearing gold, two heroes wearing red and gold, one hero wearing maroon and gold, and Mantis.” and somehow every punch and shot made him flinch an equal amount no matter who was doing it or how. It then transitions into them trying to get the gauntlet off, which makes sense but was hard to realize during the action and there was no reason they couldn’t have mentioned that at some point as a way to conceivably defeat Thanos. The fight in Wakanda was a mess, with the rabid aliens moving so much you had no idea what they were doing, and the directors apparently not even caring, since all they want to do is show off everyone using their powers. They even lampshade it and point out that the creatures were literally sent in just to die, and even kill themselves.

That’s probably everything.

I don’t know, I just wanted to get this in writing. I tried to stay professional but this is about 50/50 personal opinion and professional opinion. If you disagree with any of this, that would make sense. It was a lot harder to get some of this in writing than I thought. I’ll end it with a little list of stuff that I feel like poeple would bring up, but that I didn’t feel the need to.

Stuff I didn’t like or dislike. I thought the finger-snap ending was a cool way to write people out of the universe but I didn’t think it was as adventurous as people make it out to be. There weren’t any specific deaths that I was particualrly happy or sad about, even spider-man’s. As I was watching the film I was really upset about how they treated Gamora from a feminist perspetive, but it was a little helped byt the fact that they did the exact same thing to vision. I thought the performances were fine. I thought the score was fine. The fact that Thanos probably could have used the gauntlet to double the amount of resources rather than halve the amount of people didn’t really bother me much because the movie was written well around that fact.

Thank you for reading my rant. Have a good one.