#i think he's a physically awkward as possible in this ep

[thedanceronthestreets]

It's podcast tuesday and i want to fling john watson into the sun

[r0b1ns]

ALICE IN BORDERLAND - HOLDING HANDS IN PUBLIC

X MALE READER

Characters: Arisu, Usagi, Kuina, Chishiya, Ann, Karube, Aguni, Takeru/Hatter, Last Boss, Banda, Kyuma, Yaba

CW: a few curse words

WORD COUNT: 600+

Note: the last ep fucked me up but this season was a masterpiece (also reached the media limit so no gifs for Banda and butt guy)

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

ARISU

The first time you held his hand he was shocked

Literally repeatedly said in his head to not panic

Blushes a little but tries to hide it

He was in the middle of a sentence when your hands connected and he was so surprised he forgot what he was saying

Will try to get back to it, fail, and start some random conversation like how nice the weather is today

USAGI

She pretends nothing happened

Slightly smiles and carries on with the conversation

But her mood will definitely increase

After a few times she starts initiating it herself and holds your hand every time

KUINA

At first she's confused, looking down at your hands

But than she will smile, putting her other hand on yours

It makes her more comfortable with touching

She'll suddenly start clinging to you more and holding your hand at any given moment

It just kinda gives her reassurance

CHISHIYA

He'll raise his eyebrows looking at your hands, just barley smiling and continuing whatever he was doing

It makes his heart flatter but he doesn't have a outward reaction

Literally doesn't give a fuck if someone stares at you

You're holding hands and there's nothing they can do about it

ANN

Gives you a stern look

"What are you doing?"

She acts as if she doesn't like it

But she secretly really enjoys it

It'll take time for her to show it though, eventually smirking a little whenever you hold her

KARUBE

Proud.

He's just proud.

Looks at you with a big smile

Sometimes he likes wrapping his hand around your shoulders

He's so confident and if someone asks if you're dating he'll Immediately straighten up and say yes

When you're sitting with friends he likes taking your hand and holding it close to him with both his hands

AGUNI

Doesn't show any emotion

But inside he's like "oh shit oh shit he held my hend what do I do omg"

He was never really the type of guy to be gentle or show effaction, at least not after the borderland

So he doesn't really know how to show his appreciation

But he does appreciate and adore you very much

TAKERU/HATTER

Man, he was handsy even before you started dating

Touching you every moment possible

Wrapping his hand around your shoulders, holding hour hand when just walking, putting his head on your shoulder, anything really

He doesn't care if people think it inappropriate

He likes being able to touch you and be with you

So it doesn't matter where or when you hold hands he's always down, especially after you started dating

LAST BOSS

"😶😳"

Doesn't have a reaction

Just kinda looks around a little startled

Not because he's not confident in his Identify, but because he presents himself as this tough lonely scary guy who doesn't need anyone, and here you are holding his hand

Also because he's not used to effaction

It sends sparks to his heart

BANDA (murderous emo dude)

He just smirks

Really don't know what to tell you but he's just not bothered by it

It's like, okay, you held his hand, and?

KYUMA (butt guy)

He smirks and pulls you closer to him

Is probably the first one to initiate holding hands, or really any physical contact

He's not shy as we've seen, and definitely doesn't care what others think

He loves you and he wants to show it.

YABA

He generally doesn't like this kind of pda

He's more of a 'hand around you' type of man

He's possessive, not gentle (or that's what he wants everyone to think)

He's also kinda awkward at first

It's probably the first time he's dating a guy publicly and officially

So it takes him time to get used to it

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!GIFS ARE NOT MINE!

[quodekash]

yeah so im gonna make my silly little commentary posts for we are sometimes but not all the time

he stared at his friend's water and started smiling like a fucking idiot 💀

h2o just makes him giddy like that 🥰

also I genuinely fucking adore Pham and Fang's dynamic, they care about each other so much (I might cry)

I JSUT FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH CAN YOU BLAME ME

im sorry, i cant get over the fact that q fuCKING SANG SOUND’S SONG FROM MSP IN THE THIRD FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW

HES JUST SO SMOL I FUCKING ADORE HIM SO MUCH DUDE

here to pick up his twink

HES JUST SO SMOL THO LIKE CAN YOU BLAME ME???

I JUST WANNA RUFFLE HIS HAIR AND PINCH HIS CHEEKS HES SO FUCKING ADORABLE

i think i just really love satang cos during msp every time sound was on screen i lost my shit and now every time toey is on screen i lose my shit

btw i fully had to rewatch that entire scene, i was entirely focusing on satang’s little adorable fuckin face that i forgot to read and process the dialogue lmao

his expression is like “did you bring me here to do your chores, or are you gonna be honest and just say you want to makeout"

the real answer is just that he wants to spend time with him btu doesnt know how to do that normally 💀

(and also that he wants to make out with him)

WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING SMOL TODAY

HES TINY

HES THIS BIG 🤏

OML IT HAPPENED FOR LESS THAN HALF A SECOND BUT I PAUSED IT AT THE EXACT PERFECT MOMENT

I genuinely adore accidental kiss tropes in bls, its just so unrealistic its fucking amazing

[insert image of phum's friends walking in here (I had to delete some of my screenshots because I can only do 30 and I dont want to do more than one post for this)]

AND THEN HIS FRIENDS WALK IN, CLASSIC

it's so awkward and I am LIVING for it

people in bls always walk in at the WORST possible moments and its AMAZING

THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY TO ME

phuwin’s character trying to cook is so me

and also my sister, one time she was making spaghetti bolognese for us for dinner and she put way too much salt, and then to attempt to solve the problem, she put water into the pan to "evaporate the salt" 💀

the best part is I didnt even realise why that wouldnt work until my brother started laughing

anyway, back to the ep

WHAT DRUGS ARE IN THIS EPISODE TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER SO BABYGIRL

THEYRE ALL SO SMOL AND ADORABLE AND BBG WHAT IS GOING ON

HES SO TINY

Youre fucking KIDDING

IM SO SUDDENLY INVESTED IN THIS MAIN COUPLE

THAT WAS SUCH A SUDDEN SWITCH BRO

literally last week I was like "yeah okay I like it" and then suddenly im on the verge of tears when they make physical contact???

[insert image of pun eating]

PUN !

MY LITTLE GUY

I ADORE THEMMMMM

oh fuck yes I love this friendship already and it just started

AND CHAIN'S GETTING JEALOUSSSSS FUCK YEAH

they look like tired dads fr

is phuwin just fuckin short or is pond like 3 metres tall cos holy shit

LOOK AT HIM

SMOL BITCHES

EVERYONE'S FUCKING TINY TODAY

woah he really just went for it there

HOLY FUCK HE SAID YES

TAN IS LOSING IT HES SO HAPPY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

great frame

[insert that entire scene with the jump onto him and the holding hands and the FUCKING CHEEK KISS]

HES MY LITTLE FUCKING GUY

HES SO NEURODIVERGENT AND I ADORE HIM

KICKING AND SCREAMING MY FEET RN

he's jealoussssssss

I love pun so much, I truly would die for him

Welcome back to another episode of Toey Thinks Peem And Phum Are Dating (And He’s Right)

Im gonna be completely honest, if pond looked at me like that, id probably do whatever he tells me to without a second thought

thats all im saying

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FACE

HES SINGING THE FUCKING ABAAB SONG

IM CRYING DUDE THIS IS AMAZING

ARE THEY JUST GONNA SING SONGS FROM OTHER BLS FOR THE QHOLE SERIES? IM FUCKIN DOWN FOR THAT DUDE

this song is so out of winny’s range tho 💀

so fucking SMOL

also chains hand just always naturally rests on pun’s shoulder

literally all the time

what im saying here is I think they should kiss

HE DIDNT JUST GRAB HIS WRIST HERE HE GRABBED HIS HAND ERIJKGBNREJB HOLY SHIT

Cool! 👍

im glad they finally got there

FUCK YES NEXT EPISODE WE'RE GETTING THE SCENE FROM THE PILOT THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT

PUNCHAIN FOREHEAD KISS AND QTOEY CHEEK KISS BITCHES

okay now I just have one final question before I take my leave: what the FUCK was the song playing in the background of the qtoey scene near the end of the episode

it was just electric guitar and I KNOW recognise it but I cant figure out what fucking song it was (literally I finished the episode at like 1:30 but didnt go to sleep til 3 because I was trying to find the song)

so please, if ANYONE recognises it and knows what it is, tell me as soon as you can cos Im fucking dying

update: a moot is pretty sure the song played over other qtoey scenes earlier in the show (the same way msp did with noelm) so now im fuckin PSYCHED for the new song that’s gonna come out eventually

[i-am-adlocked]

Olly Rants Series: Ep 01

BBC Adlock Referencing the Books

This has been my Roman Empire since I read the books when I was a kid: that Irene Adler must have been one hella beautiful woman.

Because in the second book, The Sign of Four, when Watson saw Mary Morstan for the first time when she consulted with Holmes:

((Also not Holmes being called a robot just because he was like: I don’t think anyone is interesting based on how pretty they are so I don’t really observe if someone is physically attractive… Also not this line being reflected in TRF when John says “She’s dying, you MACHINE!”))

So bro never makes exceptions and that the brain must not be clouded by personal emotional preferences frfr

But then the next book (altho it might also be cos Sir Arthur Conan Doyle doesn’t give a shit about continuity), which is “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”, in the first story which is “A Scandal in Bohemia”, he be like:

And I’ve always thought as a kid: damn, Irene Adler must be one hell of a woman that Holmes literally made her the exception of his “no one will be observed as beautiful for my personal emotional likes and dislikes”

Like she’s so beautiful that Holmes didn’t even just stop at “she’s a lovely attractive woman.”

No, Adler was just so damn beautiful, the man who would never observe a person based on his personal emotional biases, really said, “she has a face that a man might die for.”

Like she must be like… a reincarnation of Helen of Troy for him to say something like that

And my new Roman Empire now is that the BBC Series did not reflect that line verbally…

Like sure, we see it happen in real time:

But I really waited for Sherlock to say verbally on something about how she has a face that a man might die for…

I was hoping to either Mrs Hudson or to Molly… like that one time in Bart’s when he was x-raying her possessions, when I first watched it, I was hoping it’ll go something like:

Molly: Is that a phone?

Sherlock: It’s a camera phone.

Molly: And you’re x-raying it?

Sherlock: Yes, I am.

Molly: Who’s phone is it?

Sherlock: A woman’s.

Molly: A criminal?

Sherlock (distractedly): ...She is a lovely woman——with a face that a man might die for...

Molly: Your girlfriend?!

Sherlock (confused): You think she’s my girlfriend despite that I’m x-raying her possessions.

Molly: Well, we all do silly things.

I have been thinking of this whole thing for 12 years. I’m surprised I only talked about it now.

Like Holmes kept three things from Adler: her photograph he got as reward from the King and the gold sovereign coin and (possibly) the letter she gave him herself.

And Sherlock kept her phone which he took from the government as his reward and it is the very same phone Irene gave him at Christmas 😭 and the texts (+ringtone) she gave him huhu

And like

Because Irene’s camera phone has gold details in it too huhu

If Holmes has Adler’s coin in his watch chain…

And Victorian-John mentions Sherlock keeps her photograph in the watch he’s keeping…

(would like to note that no coin was mentioned concerning the watch so Dream-Irene isn’t married because Adler gives that to Holmes as a gift for helping her marriage)

And that both coin and photo in my theory is the original counterpart to her Vertu phone…

That means Sherlock brings her phone everywhere with him huhuhu

In possibly his jacket’s side pockets too since gentlemen don’t usually put anything in the side pockets since it’s too awkward for your arms when you grab something in it… so people usually put stuff they bring that they don’t use much

Which could be Irene’s camera phone 😭

Anyway it’s almost 1am I must sleep

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Decision Point (Ep 5/6)

I just can't stop with this sorry, it's been years since I had anything I wanted to meta about.

"What happened to me?" The crux of the problem, succinctly expressed, that Porsche did not feel like an actor but a subject the previous night, that he didn't have a choice.

He spends most of this episode hurt and confused and looking desperately for any kind of signpost about what happened. The "go ahead then - do it" scene is one of the most charged moments between them. It's also Porsche trying to figure out -- in the most dangerous way possible, because Porsche -- which side of Kinn is the facade. Kinn's demeanor at the house is almost always smooth and controlled, even when he's dealing out violence. In this scene that is cracking. He is drunk and angry, and Porsche pushes hard on that, because he needs a sign. If that sign is pain, he can handle it; he can't stand the ambiguity.

Somewhere deep in the meta tag I saw a comment to the effect that Porsche's change of attitude to Kinn seems to be very quick. He goes from a state of high tension at the end of 5 to being much more relaxed going into 6. That struck me as odd, too, so I went back to the scene at Porsche's house, and I think that's the answer.

Because yes that was awkward AF and Kinn you do not visit your employees while they are supposed to be on vacation, and it was stupid of him to go alone, but? Kinn put himself into a socially awkward, dangerous situation that could not possibly benefit him. Everything that happens between them at the main house has the power dynamic in the background if not the foreground. By trying (however badly) to talk to Porsche outside of that setting, by leaving behind his bodyguards, Kinn is giving up control of the conversation.

Even though Porsche remains legitimately angry with him through that scene, this is the sign that he was looking for. That whatever the fuck is going on with Kinn, he isn't actually trying to hurt Porsche, who can forgive an unintended hurt -- even a very bad one -- in a way he wouldn't forgive deliberate cruelty. Which leaves him free to work on what this guy's fucking deal is, then.

Episode 6 is largely focused on addressing the power dynamic, which has to happen before they can get anywhere. It temporarily erases all the money and status and employer/employee business and puts them on equal ground in a very literal way. The early part elevates basic survival needs, which fosters trust and leaves no room for head games. The stream kiss establishes that there's still plenty of physical attraction on both sides and that Kinn has learned his lesson by being the one to break it off.

By the time they start talking, they've already reached a much more balanced state. Those conversations redress one of the remaining imbalances: information. Kinn knows a lot more about Porsche than vice versa. Porsche doesn't keep secrets about himself; Kinn does, but he starts to open up here, and again it's a situation where he doesn't stand to gain anything from doing so. That makes an emotional connection possible.

Finally, there's the ending. Kinn telling Porsche to leave -- essentially firing him -- at least symbolically vacates their previous agreement, resets the dynamic that threatens to come back into play before it can distort things between them. The fight then replays their introduction scene. Kinn is in danger, and Porsche can choose whether or not to intervene. This time around there's no money trouble, no coercion, no veil of ignorance; Porsche knows exactly what he's getting himself into when he comes back.

Freely chosen.

[historicalasiandramas]

CLJ Recaps

This episode took me two days to watch because the secondhand embarrassment was too much. The second time through was much funnier because I got to see Xunfeng stare at Orchid!DFQC like "wtf is wrong with you?"

Other than Xunfeng's perfect bombastic side eye, I am obsessed with his armor here! He's got crystals practically growing out of him.

We found out last time that Rong Hao has spies in Cangyan Sea, and I wondered how that was possible. I found the answer to that at the end of this ep.

Orchid!DFQC is presented the leader of these spies and then expected to kill him to show his power. Obviously, Orchid doesn't want to kill one of her own. In fact, she can barely even wield DFQC's sword. While SQ and the other lords make confused expressions, Xunfeng is watching like a hawk. In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't figured out yet that there's something wrong with his brother's power.

Orchid manages to get off without killing the spymaster by using him to send a threat back to Yunzhong. Meanwhile DFQC!Orchid apparently has enough physical strength to twist a grown man's arm. Since Orchid is not a violent person, she would have never known that. Moon Supreme also has the advantage of the bone orchid bracelet, which will protect Orchid's body from harm. He knows exactly how to use it since he's the one who gave it to her and has no trouble breaking out of his cell.

Meanwhile courtesans are kicked out by Orchid and gather in the hallway to question Shang Que as to why Moon Supreme would reject them.

DFQC himself confirms it later, but he is a virgin and also not good at dealing with women. SQ orders the women to stay away from Moon Supreme's chambers in the future unless specifically called for.

And then immediately after, SQ is summoned to Moon Supreme's chamber XD The music gets silly and SQ starts acting awkward. He declares that he would die for DFQC but seems to think that either he's gonna get fucked or DFQC is gonna ask to be fucked. It doesn't make things better when Orchid literally drags him onto the bed.

Poor awkward dragon!

Orchid absolutely does not notice and instead asks about the past and what kind of person DFQC was before. She lies and says that due to an injury, she can't remember and that her magic is damaged. It's funny cuz this is actually true for Orchid herself but it's just a ruse here.

Obviously in a place where the powerful are respected, there's no way DFQC would be accepted as Moon Supreme if he can't even defend the position. Since Orchid asked, I'm pretty sure SQ will do his best to help cover up any supposed lapse in power until Orchid & DFQC can switch back.

Before SQ can say anything else, DFQC storms in and pins Orchid to the bed.

"Are you gonna watch from there?" SQ decides that he absolutely does not wanna get mixed up in whatever the hell is going on here, so he hurriedly leaves.

Meanwhile in Haishi City, it's confirmed that one of the courtesans was actually a spy! She confirms that DFQC is holding on Rong Hao's master's Destiny Book. It's time to attack directly, but Die Yi has her doubts.

Moon Supreme doesn't trust anyone and all their spies (other than the courtesan that just left I guess?) were cleared out. How will they defeat him? Don't worry! Rong Hao knows a guy!

That guy turns out to be Xunfeng! It's been 30k years and he hasn't forgiven his brother for killing their father. How useful for devious darling!

And speaking of DFQC killing his father, Orchid has questions about that. Since the Moon Tribe favors strength, she assumes there's a law or unspoken rule that if you defeat someone you must kill them. Moon Supreme says there is no such rule.

Oh my gods, Orchid! You can't ask something so plot important this early in the show! We don't get an answer for that because it's time for another really big reveal.

Not only could it be argued that Xunfeng is the reason for his brother's capture (due to not arriving in time), but he was also the one who helped Rong Hao build Haiyi City. This is absolutely DELICIOUS information!!

Also before this secret meeting in the woods, I didn't really think Xunfeng was particularly pretty. But there's something about his eyes that just??

When he was glaring at DFQC before, Xunfeng's head was angled slightly downward, making him look intimidating. Here, it's the opposite. His head is angled up and his eyes are narrowed so that it looks like he's looking down at Rong Hao.

Unlike his brother, Xunfeng is ruled by his emotions: particularly anger. Because he's so bent on avenging his father, Xunfeng doesn't even realize that he's at Rong Hao's mercy. I noticed that Rong Hao speaks gently to Xunfeng - like a father would.

When he tilts his head and asks this, Rong Hao is almost sweet. Like literally anyone with half a brain cell would be like "a man capable of secret machinations like this can absolutely not be trusted," but Rong Hao made it sound like he's forever indebted to Xunfeng.

His mind games are absolutely next level and I am unfortunately a huge simp for that kind of character.

Look at that smirk. That's my gender and my religion. You make a characters smirk and I am their stan first and a person second.

Unfortunately a new toxic ship has sailed and I kinda ship Rong Hao and Xunfeng now WHOOPS

[ptsinkbaby]

I literally cannot stop thinking about Gerard's speech before performing "Sleep" on Night 2 of WWWYF

"There was a summer I started collecting knives. Big bags full of knives. It's because my friend died. And I was hopin... someone would try to hurt me, so I could kill them."

the dead awkward silence, the way the whole atmosphere shifted so obviously, Gerard cackling to himself after he made everyone stunned ...

like what a powerful and open admission about what grief does and can do to a person. Wishing someone would attack you just so you have an excuse to let out your anger and sadness in a physical way. I feel for him.

Of course, Gerard is known to just say "crazy" things on stage, so it could be just him yappin, but I truly think he was being serious in this moment. Of course we have no way to know which Summer they are actually referring to if it is a true story. We know their close producer friend passed away a few years back and I thought it could be referring to that, but then I had remembered something.

I mentioned this on a previous post but the first songs ever recorded by My Chemical Romance was an EP of demos released in December of 2001 titled "Dreams of Stabbing and/or Being Stabbed"

It also featured the song "Bring More Knives (Our Lady of Sorrow)"

TW // Suicide

I also remembered a specific magazine interview that came out during the Black Parade era in 2006. Gerard had talked openly about how one of his only friends in high school had committed suicide by jumping in front of an oncoming train. He said that it permantely changed his life and he talked about how he thought the wake was very strange because all the classmates from school had showed up to it and that it had made him want to escape New Jersey forever. (which is likely inspiration for the song "Kill All Your Friends" possibly? )

If this was the same friend who made him collect knives, it would make sense for him to bring it up before the song "Sleep" at The Black Parade show, considering he was thinking about it during The Black Parade and also it seems to be something that effected him enough to reference in songs right away in the band...

It could also be about someone else entirely. Who knows !

[ctl-yuejie]

Hidden Agenda is moving very quickly -last week Zo had to get persuaded to ask for Joke's help and this week he already realises that he's catching feelings for Joke -

too fast? maybe. but I think that's the point:

Admittedly Joke is hot, suave and has shown to be kind since from Zo's perspective he's helping him on a self-admittedly ludicrous mission (getting tutored by the ex) after getting bad-mouthed by his friends. However, Zo had a bad impression of Joke beforehand and has liked Nita for a long time.

So why the sudden change?

I have to rewatch ep. 1-2 but Zo seems lonely? He has of course his club and friends but his family seems a bit absent. And even knowing he has friends still doesn't make it impossible for him to be lonely. The initial teaser mentioned that he wants to be in love.

So why Joke?

I think that puzzle can be solved by asking: why Nita?

She's hot, popular and most importantly nice to Zo. He is extremely awkward around her (and ripped her bag strap!) but she's been friendly throughout.

I think Zo is craving that. His crush on Nita is legitimate (at least I want to think it is), but he is more into the idea of her. He doesn't actually know her (my man only now scrolled through her instagram to see what she likes).

And like Joke accurately observes: he doesn't know himself and dislikes to try new things out so he's stuck not getting to know himself better, which also means: we can't be too sure he knows what he wants and likes romantically.

This is the first time he spends a lot of time with a new person trying new things. And it is intimate: they touch, mess around and have a good time together.

Or like Joke poses, and Zo repeats in his head: 1. Passion 2. Initimacy 3. Committment. I don't think his perception of what love is changes after Joke's triangle of love but someone put finally into words what love is to Zo. And intimacy seems to be a big thing for him (be it physical touch or the feeling of not being alone).

And when Joke -after Zo reads the story of Aphrodite and Adonis to him- says were he Aphrodite "he wouldn't have left Adonis alone in the first place" and their electrifying pinky touch, it becomes clear that this is is what Zo is looking for. Not only someone nice, but someone who won't make him feel alone. (That's why the date with Nita went perfectly well - it's fine to interpret stories differently and they got talking about it - but he didn't feel a spark)

Which will complicate things in the future. Not only the possible betrayal he feels when he learns of Joke's hidden agenda, but in the preview it looks like we get the first kiss. And it's initiated by Zo.

The chemistry he feels is definitely true. But can Joke believe that Zo has caught feelings when he is still on the way to getting to know himself better and seemingly craving for a romantic connection to someone ?

I don't know how to tie this back into the theme of "hidden agenda" but it is at least the reason why I see conflict on the horizon and don't believe the show is moving too fast.

Upon re-reading I might have idea, which isn't that clean but maybe workable in the future: hidden agenda also means you are not true to someone else. Zo has changed who he is for Nita, even agreeing with her reading on his favourite bed time story because he thinks that what she wants to see him romantically. But we know that what Zo wants is to be wanted in a way that - according to Joke - goes beyond what even Aphrodite felt for Adonis. And in front of Joke he is very honest, even down to admitting feeling confused about his heart not racing when he got close to Nita. Which in turn can led to more conflict, because he was so honest in front of Joke while Joke hides his motivations.

In even better news: it means I am getting the ultimate trope of them dating while thinking the other isn't into them.

[crying-over-gay-dramas]

this post will include major spoilers for My School President and Moonlight chicken, and sort of spoilers for Bad Buddy (I make a comparison). I also did not proofread this and wrote it all in one go without sleeping for a very long time so be warned.

Hello and welcome to me trying to articulate how and why I love every single detail of the My school President finale without sounding insane. This is going to be long so buckle in.

We'll start strong with the obvious which is their first kiss. We waited eleven episodes for them to kiss. They had all these super romantic moments, teasing us with the possibility of a kiss only for it to never happen UNTIL episode 12, the finale, when it happens without any notice, shocking myself and probably everyone else. It was unlike GMMTV's style who usually save the first kiss scene for some dramatic rooftop or beach. All that build up just for a brief peck for their first kiss? Perfection. It was so perfect for their dynamic and for the theme of the show itself. Think of all the things this show carries. First love, high school, dreams, friendship, romance. It's always been more on the innocent side, definitely the other side of the coin that is Never Let Me Go, another GMMTV BL that aired at the same time, with the same aged characters but with an entirely different vibe. That vibe, however, is what made this show really work. Because although it overall came off as innocent, it used that appearance to talk about some deeper things. But, I'll get to that later. Back to the kiss. GMMTV were truly genius for doing it the way they did. A lot of us were even convinced that they weren't going to kiss at all, especially after the scene in MoonLight Chicken from an episode aired only a day before the finale of My School President. The actors for Tin and Gunn, Gemini and Fourth, play characters in that show as well and in this episode they had their very first kiss together however due to camera angles we don't actually see it. That led us to beileve maybe these two actors just wouldn't be kissing in any of their shows, or at least not yet. So we went in to the finale either thinking they wouldn't kiss at all, or expecting a dramatic first kiss and we got neither. It was truly genius. And, as I said before it perfectly fit the theme of the show. It was exactly the style we've come to expect and love from TinGunn. Really fucking cute, for lack of better words. It also suited them because no matter how much those two managed to flirt, they still both were often awkward and flustered around each other so their first kiss being brief and in such a sudden moment fit them really well. It really was just so perfect. We didn't even need anything more in my opinion, but we got it anyways when later in the episode they do kiss more. Overall, it was really something that stood out to me and I loved how it ended up playing out. Physical touch has always been such a big part of TinnGun's relationship and development, and this was really just the pinnacle.

The Prom MV. The PROM MV. A small scene, hardly important to the story right? WRONG. The Prom MV not only provided us with some much appreciated jealous Gun which we love and missed from around ep 6 or 7 I beileve when he tares Tinn away from some girls who were flirting with him (before they had even admitted their feelings to each other I might add) but it also was a very sly method from GMMTV to insert some social commentary, something they've loved doing ever since Not Me. Tiw, apologizes to Tinn and Gun, telling them he asked for the MV to have a "BL" couple but they refused. They go on to show that Tinn's Co-star in the MV has a girlfriend, watching her on the side lines much like Gun is watching Tinn. This implies that the school board had unknowingly put into action an MV starring a gay man and a lesbian (assumed, not confirmed) playing a couple. All of this speaks volumes towards heteronormativity and gender roles and how society, specifically Thailand society in this case, but also everywhere, sees queer people. They'd rather place together a man and a woman who have zero attraction to each other than a man and a man or a woman and a woman who do. Although the message itself was serious, GMMTV still kept it light for the theme of the show, having Gun be jealous of Tinn and the girl in the MV, even pinching Tiw and telling him to yell cut, a detail we all loved. That's one thing that I really admired as I briefly mentioned earlier. The way they were able to insert more serious themes into the show without moving too far from the overall innocent and light hearted vibe.

That being said, GMMTV did let it get serious sometimes, in a way that was very well done. Besides the finale, they had plotlines that cast a more darker tone to the series, such as Gun struggling with feelings of self worth, and failure and his mother getting sick. I won't touch on that much, as I'm trying to focus on the finale here. For the finale, they had a very important scene where Tinn and Gun overhear two of their teachers saying bad things about them, regarding their relationship. This is what we can assume to be both of their times first experiencing strong homophobia directly. For it to come from a teacher as well, one they had respected was incredibly difficult. They don't sugarcoat this part of the episode. They don't give the teacher a redemption arc. Throughout the scene, the teacher holds their views and is shown as what some people are, simply just assholes. This was so important to the series, and important to the show overall, for the message and for the characters. Through this scene we get to see several different characters and their own reactions to Tinn and Gun, theirs being positive. Tinn's junior in his club as well as his mother both stand up foe them against the teacher. It's an emotional scene (that might have made me cry) and really shows you two sides to a very real and much bigger picture. Some people will only be filled with hate, and it can come from anyone. Even someone we trust. But among the hate there will always be those who will stay by your side, and some might surprise you. It's important to stand up for yourself and for whoever you love, to be proud of yourself and not to listen to anyone who tells you to be anything other than what you are. It was a beautiful and very important message and lesson for TinnGun and for us viewers.

Okay, enough being serious for a sec. Now we are going to discuss some of the smaller cuter details I appreciated. Gun officially meeting Tinn's parents as his boyfriend and the dynamic between them matching the already developed characters types of the parents. Tinn's dad being open and friendly, excitingly sharing his shared interest in music with Gun. Gun calling him dad and being nervous but comfortable around him. Tinn's mom telling Gun to call her Aunt instead of mom and her husband teasing her for it. Her staying somewhat distant from the situation yet letting things progress naturally and standing by when she usually would have interfered. It showed great character growth on her part, beyond of course what already occurred with her choosing her son over her career (We'll talk more about that later)

Let's talk about Prom. One thing I liked a lot is how Gun pulled Tinn on stage. It wasn't just romantic and very cute, but it was significant to Tinn and his development. If we look back to episode, 4 or 5 I think? Tinn tells Gun that his worst memory is when as a kid he was meant to sing on stage but forgot the lyrics. He'd been too afraid to sing since. He does sing, however in a previous episode with Gun on stage to support him when he was tired. That already showed how his love for Gun could overpower any previous fear he'd had and make himself stronger and more brave. This scene continues that theme and is important also for the fact that Tinn's mom was there to witness it. In a previous episode when she asks Gun about Tinn she found out that Tinn had sung with Gun and she is surprised. Showing again that Tinn didn't tell her things, or share things with her, much like he never shared with her his crush on Gun. But with this scene, she is there to see it herself. Tinn on stage, quietly singing along with his boyfriend. She's seeing the side to him she never was able to see, one she is finally able to see because she stopped being scared and opener herself up to getting to know her son beyond what she wanted from him.

And here comes, what I mentioned earlier. This very same scene, there is once again some discourse among the teachers about Tinn and Gun's relationship. As was shown and said earlier, she'd been put in a tough position as soon as the pictures of the two had spread, getting calls and complaints from others about the "image" it was giving the school she worked so hard to run. It's made clear from episode one how important it is to her to run the school and maintain what she worked so hard to get. However, in this episode she chooses her son. Not only does she choose her son, but she chooses her morals. We don't see the woman who denied our favorite high school band to perform again and again, but instead we see the woman who wants to run a school where her son, and anyone, can love who they want. I really enjoyed seeing that character development from her, although to me it seems it was always there. It wasn't entirely her that changed, but our perception of her and Tinn's perception of her and I think that was a really smart move on the part of the writers.

One smaller detail I want to mention is the scene where the Chinzilla members are all waiting together to find out their college/future plan results. The scene was much like one from a previous episode, when they waited to find out the winner of the contestant they had tried so hard to be. In the previous scene they are all met with disappointment. It's a very important moment for all of them and continues to follow the theme of youth and dreams. In that case, their dream didn't come true. In life, that is often the case. We don't always get what we want no matter how hard we try. That taught a tough lesson. However, in this later scene they follow that up with a positive tone. Gun finds that he was accepted and the group hugs and celebrates. It's a direct contrast to their previous disappointment and it really gave such a nice, although possibly corny message that you should never give up on your dreams and even if something doesn't work out, there's ways something else that will.

This next one I usually never ever talk about because I don't like it, so the fact that I'm not only okay with bringing it up, but okay that it even happened speaks wonders about how highly I thought of this finale. TinnGun versus GunTinn. I hate this. Like really really hate whenever this is brought up in a BL. It's stupid and it always opens up room for what we all know is a very real issue in the consumption of mlm media. Fetishization. You aren't truly a BL fan until you've been made very uncomfortable by someone discussing which of your favorite characters… yeah. So whenever this is brought up in a BL, even in a joking manner, I hate it. But I just couldn't hate it this time. Because once again, they did it so well. As usual, it was brought up by other people. Their classmates' curiosity and rather selfish need to pry into their business (in my opinion) brought up the subject. But it didn't result in anything weird, for lack of a better word. In fact it was sweet and even funny. It perfectly fit Tinn and Gun, and did show a little bit more of maturity on their part since the show has maintained a rather innocent feel around their relationship. Gun doesn't even know what the order means and Tinn has to tell him. He whispers it to him right there in the hallway and it's the cutest fucking thing. And instead of awkwardness or toxic arguments (I'm looking at you, My Engineer) it turned into teasing and gave the entire argument I've grown so tired of from BL, a light hearted tone. For once, I didn't feel uncomfortable or like they were making it some weird reference to the sick interest of fans (too harsh? Maybe. But idc) but it really felt like it was about TinnGun and their dynamic and it was just really fucking cute, there's no other way to describe it. What is also good about it, is often when BL do have that argument they will reveal which way it is one way or another, and it's just such a weird thing that they feel the need to do that. If it's a scene where they are like actually showing it, fine whatever I guess. but when they talk about it after the fact and make a point of making it clear what happened is so weird to me. Even Bad Buddy did that. I hated that scene in Bad Buddy. It took away some of my enjoyment from the show. My point is, MSP didn't do that and I appreciated that. Because it really doesn't matter, so shut the fuck up and srop being weird and trying to force gender roles on gay relationships.

Those were my main points but there are so many more details I could discuss. A lot of the focus being on Gun and his friends rather than the whole episode being about TinnGun and how important that is to Gun's character and to the show. How their support for Gun when the photos appeared online was a huge deal.

All the small references to previous events such as Tinn's dad buying a new guitar after Tinn gave Gun hid and Gun almost revealing it to him on accident. It gave such small and not entirely necessary, but very cute and funny background on previous events, tying it all together. These details also really helped the series to feel more full and real. A living and breathing story, rather than words on a script.

The entire series and especially that finale was just so well done and I can't believe such amazing work came from a silly little romance about a singer and his school president boyfriend. Except I can, because that silly little vibe is exactly how it was able to create something like this. I'm so grateful for this series and I'm so so so so sad to see it end but the end truly was perfect.

If you have read all of this… you are as obsessed as me, huh?

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: hsmtmts 2x01-2x12

gina saying ‘i’m gonna make my mark’ while walking through nini and ricky, causing them to break their handhold…yeah.

poor gina, she likes ricky so much

that was harsh, ricky didn’t deserve that.

oh my God, nini’s ‘team kourt’ pullover is so cute

blondie has a great voice but she’s a shit person, i have to say

kourt, ash and gina did so good but i kinda wish ashs voice wasn’t at the forefront

i officially hate blondie, how dare her laugh at big red falling???

ashlyn as belle my beloved <3

I KNEW SHE WAS A SPY

the hearts on nini’s face, aw

lmfaoooo he’s in denver

‘…i’m taking it in stride’ ‘you’re dressed in all black’ pls

big red saying valentine’s day is centered around the color red so he should have it on lock and pointing to his hair was hilarious i love him

ricky definitely has some buried feelings for gina cause there’s no other reason why their scenes are now slightly awkward in that cute way it is when characters have mutual feelings for each other and don’t know how to act esp when one half is in a relationship 🤭

‘there are just some things i tell you that i don’t tell anybody else’ ‘i think we do that for each other’ who else is doing it like them? definitely not rini lmao

not ricky shushing gina cause nini’s calling??? now why would he do that if he didn’t feel slightly guilty for hanging out with her? emotionally cheating ricky we love you🫂

big red and ashlyn are so adorable together

GOD RICKY AND THE CHOCOLATES, I CANT BREATHE

the way ricky immediately sent that text to gina, he’s so fucking obvious 😭

‘love you, mom!’ seb is so cute

kourt as lead when??

ricky’s fucking face when he sees nini’s voicemail and gina’s text 😭

reds song was saurrr cute

ricky’s down so bad, gina didn’t even say anything funny and he immediately lost it

‘what, do i need to send you a random box of chocolates to prove it? 😏’ gina is literally the only one so far who brings out ricky’s flirty side

‘i go big, gina. you know that.’ GOD

kinda wanna throw hands with mr mazzara for being there for ej but not willing to be there for ricky earlier

need someone to notice something’s wrong with gina and hug her

is gina leaving again? kinda getting that vibe

gina’s performance was AMAZING

WOW i think that’s genuinely the best cover of ‘the climb’ i’ve ever heard

‘i’ve never been accused of being speechless’ 🫂

oh wow, they stole their beauty and the beast idea

‘i’m ready to come home’

‘what would you ask your future self?’ ‘trick question, gaston’s dead!’ he’s not wrong 😭

ricky’s allergic to change and it’s definitely his parents fault

‘i wouldn’t quit on us, if i wasn’t moving away’

‘nini’s back and…he’s so happy now’ SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY, TOO!!!!

espionage 😭😭

gina finally got a hug 🥹

ricky saying he’d ask if the beast and belle were still together in the future + nini writing that song…yeah, they were built to fall apart

‘oh my God, is your phone hungry?!’ lmfaoooo

‘do you really think they’d steal from us?’ ‘i would :D’ pls?? gina’s so funny 😭

‘if you leave me unsupervised with their costumes i cannot promise i won’t go all gina 1.0 in there’ lmfao i love her

the way i gasped in sync with everyone else when that kid called the costume fugly 😭

ricky and nini is the worst relationship on the show

OH MY GOD???

okay, i did NOT see howie being the beast coming

‘miss jen, we didn’t break anything’ ‘would you like me to be the first?’ miss jen said her hands are rated E for everyone

‘keep our heads down and our chins up’ ‘i don’t think that’s physically possible’ ‘it’s an expression, sebastian!’ she’s so done with him 😭

rini needs to end, they aren’t good together at all

i already hate ej’s dad, he sounds so full of himself and he’s only said a few words lmao

kourt’s mom is the best parent on the show i fear

damn, all the relationships are imploding this ep

i would’ve preferred gina and ej just being friends tbh

i feel bad for nini and ricky of course, but their relationship was not it

okayyyy an andi mack reunion!! i’m here for it!

i love the song and video they made, i just wish ricky was there, too

gina is so damn shippable cause why am i here thinking her and jack would be cute together

ricky’s song is so good

ej showing up at the airport…ricky should’ve ran into gina there on his way home and they should’ve taken an uber together or something

‘i think i may have played troy at one point’ pls 😭

lily’s incredibly annoying

seblos 🥹

oh fuck, ricky fell 😭

the musical is really good

A BIG BROTHER FIGURE, I’M CRYING

lily stole the harness, didn’t she?

well.

‘i’ve always seen your name in lights’ oh my God, they’re so cute!!!

why can’t gina ever just be happy?!?

Gina and nini’s friendship (i use that word loosely lmao) is cute

nini being more upset about her and gina than ricky and gina…she doesn’t give a fuck about him dkgjfjs

oh wow, gina’s definitely gonna introduce nini to her brother

‘are you happy?’ miss jen is already better than both of ricky’s parents just by asking that simple question

i’m so glad they dropped out

oh brother

the cast performing you are the music in me 🫶🏻🥹

aww, olivia crying 🥺

that’s a wrap on s2 and if you made it to the end of this lb, pat yourself on the back lmfao

[phosphophy11ite]

Neon Genesis Evangelion Ep 2 "The Beast" -> Review/analysis ^_^

the second ep opens with the sachiel and unit 1 fighting. it's not going so well. while shinji has been able to sync amazingly with the eva, he still has no idea what he's doing and is pretty defenseless to sachiel's attacks. we get a glimpse that the eva might be more than a robot pretty soon in the series:

what kind of robot bleeds?? the fight scene then cuts to shinji waking up in the hospital, confused and disorientated. we don't know what happened between unit 1 and sachiel, but shinji must've defeated the angel as seen in the next scene shows the government cleaning the damage from the fight. shinji won, but the viewer still doesn't know how. episode 2 also introduces us to seele. gendo is shown discussing the battle with seele officials, who allude to the human instrumentality project, telling gendo it's his largest priority. one member also makes this comment, which again highlights the selfishness of war and that the government really does not care about the wellbeing of the eva pilots (which are just tools and weapons to them). 'this' refers to the appearance of the angel.

misato and ritsuko discuss the battle together. it's a miracle that unit 1 won, though it's not been revealed how to the viewer yet. misato is concerned about shinji's mental and physical state after the battle, and ritsuko reveals why shinji's in the hospital. in the exchange below, ritsuko takes an analytical, objective-type approach to shinji's injury as a scientist/doctor would, while the emotional misato snarkily corrects her: since the injury impacts shinji's psychological state, it's his heart that's getting hurt. this little interaction features ritsuko being more removed and less empathetic, and misato criticizing her for it. this conflict between the two of them will continue and escalate throughout the series, with misato seeing ritsuko as cold and robotic and ritsuko seeing misato as overly-emotional-- though she sympathizes with her. remind you of any other two female characters?

misato then picks shinji up from the hospital. shinji and gendo have an awkward exchange, and shinji breaks eye contact with gendo angrily. this is his way of telling gendo that he didn't pilot unit 1 for his father's approval, but i do think his father's approval played a role in his decision. gendo and shinji don't want to live together. they've spent most of shinji's life separated, and their relationship is obviously not the best. the ikaris both find it easier to isolate themselves to avoid conflict and/or connection with others.

misato, feeling bad for shinji, invites him to live at her apartment. they stop at a grocery store on the way over, and shinji overhears a conversation between two women about the dangerous battle the night before and how they're leaving tokyo because of it. reminder that shinji still can't recall exactly what happened. once misato stocks up on beer and snacks, she takes a detour to look over the city with shinji. they comment on how beautiful it is, and misato tells him this is the city he saved. shinji still doesn't remember what happened. i think it's quite possible that he's blocking the memories out on purpose.

once they arrive at misato's apartment, it's revealed that misato is a real slob. there's nothing in the fridge besides beer, ice, and snacks, and the entire apartment is littered with takeaway containers and miscellaneous boxes. this mess further exemplifies misato's immaturity. during dinner, misato acts quite childish.

but when shinji leaves to go take a bath, it is revealed that (most) of misato's antics were a ruse to make him feel more at ease. she worries he's seen through them.

meanwhile at nerv, ritsuko and gendo discuss the evas and the battle with sachiel. ritsuko questions if its just to force the children to pilot the evas regardless of their feelings and gendo, unsurprisingly, says it's fine. ritsuko is really not as cold as she appears. like most of the characters in the series, she puts up a wall between the feelings of others and herself to protect herself, but we'll see more of that later... the next shot shows a motionless unit 0 attacking the observation desk where ritsuko and gendo stand. this is why the robot was out of commission, and it offers a glimpse at the conflict between mankind and their creations.

back at misato's, misato is taking a bath and calls ritsuko. misato wonders if shinji will continue to pilot the eva and ritsuko says he should as long as he is still "operable". ritsuko's word choice hints that shinji is a tool, though we know ritsuko has her own doubts about the morality of the whole operation. doubts she doesn't show misato (lack of communication, failure to connect with others... these are flaws that are present throughout the cast). misato hangs up and reflects on the day before, where she urged shinji to get into the eva. she feels guilty:

shinji is now in bed, and the memories of the fight flood back to him. right when sachiel had him cornered, about to go in for the final blow, unit 1 goes berserk. the nerv scientists, ritsuko, and misato are shown watching the ordeal with horrified looks on their faces while gendo smirks. they fear this machine they've created, maybe even more than they fear the angel.

bersek unit 1 attacks sachiel in a ravenous manner. it does not fire its guns but uses a piece of debris to stab sachiel over and over again. this is not the cold, calculated violence of a machine but the overwhelming anger and fear of a crime of passion. it's terrifying. sachiel self-destructs, but unit 1 remains intact. the battle has been won.

shinji is fished out from the eva, and gets a glimpse of what it looks like under its armor:

what is this thing? how much control does nerv have over it?

this episode is titled "the beast", and while we first think the beast refers to sachielf, it becomes overwhelmingly clear that the beast is actually the evangelion. now that shinji remembers the ordeal, how is he going to react? find out next time dundundundnnnnn

[lutawolf]

Luta! Hi! How are you??

I’ve been pondering whether to send this or not since it’s about a sensitive topic, so please know that you don’t have to answer it if it makes you uncomfortable, i know a lot of blogs here don’t like talking about actors in real life. BUT! I’ve been obsessing over LITA ep 4 ininterruptedly, and it got me thinking: they did a wonderful wonderful job to make it look very real, with a lot of physical stimulation, hard nipples and all (more than most bls I know - I think them and kinnporshe felt the most natural to me). So, do you think it’s possible that the actors actually enjoyed filming it? Like, not really talking about their romantic affairs outside the series though, just reactions to stimulations, which would be very normal with the amount of touching they seemed to be doing there. At the same time I think it would be difficult with a lot of people on the set, seems like would be hard to really immerse yourself, but that scene somehow felt different to me, some of the reations got me wondering.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hey Hey Nonnie!!

I'm doing good and hope you are too!

I don't like answering these because I don't like feeding into fan service. Which I believe to be toxic and I know for a fact that some of the Thai actors check our reviews. So I don't want to say anything to make them uncomfortable. I do want to address though why we are finding the love scenes to be much better.

Boss himself said that there was a strong comfort level between them. That he himself had to immerse into the scene and feel those feelings to do them. It's in the first special if anyone wants to go see.

I think what made the scene different, same as Kinnporshe. Honestly there are a few more I can think of too. Is that these actors didn't view this as a job to get through but were enjoying the story telling. Mile and Apo constantly talked about the love story aspect. It never felt like two ppl forced to do something. There is no awkwardness for us to see. We are actually able to immerse into the scene.

💜💜💜

[forthechubbies]

What's Wrong With Secretary Park?!

Synopsis• If balancing work and a stubborn ex-husband isn't hard enough, Let's add the boss’s seven sons falling head over heels for her to mix.

Category's• Romcon, Comedy, Office Au.

Duos• BTS X Reader

A spin-off of the original series ‘ What's Wrong With Secretary Kim’ Bangtan Edition! Starring the Handsome, Seo-Joon Park as the Ex husband.

There will be more parts but I didn’t want the title to be to long.

EP. One Two

“ Mrs. Park, Good Morning!”

“Mrs. Park, What does my schedule look like today?”

“Mrs. Park, Your coffee keeps me alive.”

In case you haven’t noticed, Park Yn, I’m the secretary to Jeon Sung-ho, the CEO of Dnd Parmatech, 85 percent of the time, newly build hospitals or centers use our funds as kickstarts. Daily I make schedules, appointments, filing documents, answering calls, and blah blah blah.

Is it boring? Yes, I know. However, quite refreshing coming from my hectic marriage. Once upon a time, I was wedded to the marvelous actor Park Seo-Joon for three years. I sat in the limelight and even had the privilege to play the part of his wife in movies. Sigh. Although the attention and riches were grand, no amount of expensive counseling could save our marriage. We never saw eye to eye on anything, and his short temper wasn’t helping.

Knowing my worth, I packed up and left without a doubt in my head. However, The documentation of our separation wasn’t finalized due to a certain one refusing to sign off on the divorce agreement. So physically, I’m still Mrs. Park but ain’t no piece of paper telling who I belong too.

Whatever! I have too much to focus on already! Game on, Game on! First, I got to get these papers approved and signed by Mr. Jeon then-

Buzz Buzz Buzz!

Who’s calling-

Speak of the devil. I could have sworn I deleted his contact a long time ago! “ What Seo-Joon? I’m busy-“

“ When is this little temper tantrum going to end? Darling, I think you made your point.”

“My point?! Listen here, You slimy son of-” Now, Now Yn calm down calm down don’t let him get a rise out you that just what he wants. A quick exhale should do the trick. “ Seo-Joon, I believe we reached an agreed on no type of communication unless it revolves around the settlement for the divorce.”

How is it possible I can physically see his snarky face?

Seo-Joon stretched out his list of complaints.” It’s been over a year. I miss your kisses, soft skin, that cute birthmark on your-“

“ You will not talk about such embarrassing things over the phone!” Thank goodness, Nobody was around to hear me shot like that.

“Why is this divorce still an issue?!” There goes that temper again-How whinny can one man be? “ If you don’t stop this, I will take matters into my own hands.”

I laughed. “ Ha, Seo-jerk, I’m not scared of you! Do your worst because It doesn’t matter if you drag me back home; it doesn’t subside the problem being over our marriage.” I feel like a broken record at this point. “ If this isn’t about the papers, this conversation is over, Mr. Park; please refrain from calling me again, goodbye.”

He chuckled and mumbled something along the lines of, “ Your cute acting cheeky like this.” The rest he continued louder “ Those delicate hands of yours were made to indulge in the finest silk and satin I can obtain, not working nine to five at whatever job hired a housewife with zero work ethic. I just know I haven’t touched your side of the room since that night- I love you, Mrs.Park, I always will.”

He hung up. You know, after he finished insulting my new lifestyle and calling me a useless housewife, the ‘ I love you’ bit at the end sounds sincere, but he is an actor! Of course.

Hmph! Just because I’m working for myself for one doesn’t mean I’m miserable. I’m actually in love with my job, It pays well with benefits, and I sat on my butt all day. If that pompous little bedazzled turd thinks making me the butt of his jokes will get me back in his arms, he has another thing coming!

“Um, Mrs. Park?”

“ What!” I snapped. “ Oh, Hoseok, I’m sorry!” I bowed my head; the poor thing nearly jumped out of his shoes.

Hoseok beamed his warm heart-shaped smile at me. “ Oppa is having a family meeting today; I guess I’m the first to show.”

I wasn’t informed about a meeting today from Mr.Jeon, maybe because it’s a family affair.

“Tada!” He cutely squeaks. A tasteful package breakfast alongside a tall cup of what I presume is a coffee from..’ Thanks Nature’!

“Oh my- Hobi, this cafe is across town-”

“I overhead Oppa scolding you for skipping meals one day and I’m here to do the same, don’t skip meals or else We will be hurt if something happens to you.” Hoseok pointed at the pack. “ Eat every bit.”

Hoseok displayed a small heart using his index finger and thumb, hopping off to his father’s double doors.

Mr. Jeon has seven sons in all. The man is a true saint; men like him and his sons are why I still believe not all men are dogs. After losing his wife to heart cancer, He just about went bankrupt, donating all he had to have found cures to multiple diseases hoping nobody else had to suffer his same heartbreak.

Love found him again in an orphanage just north of here, ‘Seoul Children Home.’ His first son, Kim Seokjin, at the time Jin was already in his teenage years, making it difficult for him to find a family due to the high demand of couples wanting a single-digit child. His birth family mistreated him, but he was beaten everywhere except his face to keep his handsome appearance. The family decided to put his money-maker to fair use and attempted to sell him. Seokjin saw his opportunity and high-tailed, landing himself in the orphanage where he happily lends a helping hand every chance he got. He learned how to read, write, cook, clean, and even tend to the tots when the nuns were busy.

This is how he met his slightly younger brothers, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, and Kim Namjoon; when being chosen for adoption, Seokjin refused to live without his baby brothers by his side.

“ Hello, Noona!”

Oh, Look just in time, “ Hello, You’re father is in his office.”

Namjoon eyed my edible gift from Hobi and raised his eyebrow as well as a question. “ So this is why Hyung left so early in the morning for-and I hope you’re having a good morning, Noona.”

I’m not older than them. Why do they call me Noona? Do I look old!?

“ Yn, Good morning! How are you!” Jin greeted me with English this morning. He must have been practicing with Namjoon lately.

“ I’m Fine. Seokjin.”

“Chu.” He blew a kiss my way. “ You’re not fine. You’re amazeing.”

“Amazing.” Namjoon corrected for the sidelines.

“Same thing.”

“Pronunciation is everything, Hyung.”

They stopped halfway from their dad’s office. Jin grinned. Wait, I know that smile; oh no, here comes a dad joke.

“ Hey, Namjoon-You know the reason I took the elevator instead of the stairs?”

Namjoon sighed. “ No, why?”

"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something." Jin burst out laughing and clapped his hands.

I giggled not from the joke, but Jin has a contagious laugh.

“See, Yn has good taste.”

A slow deep groan entered the office belonging to Yoongi, lagging. “ I heard that terrible joke from the elevator.” Yoongi waved and leaned against my desk. “ Good Morning.”

“Good Morning.”

There was an awkward pause before Yoongi tapped my desk and pointed to his dad’s office from walking that way.

“Yoon-Yoongi!?”

He turned back towards me.

“ I have something for you. I packed it up on the way here.” Getting off my butt, I walked up and gave him a bottle of his favorite black ice coffee. Ew. I don’t know how he drinks it with no cream or sugar.

Yoongi smiled his gummy smile. “ Thank you for thinking of me.”

“You’re welcome.” And off he goes into the office as well.

Yoongi isn’t the biggest fan of human interaction, but he put forth an endeavor towards me, whether it’s a light ‘ Hi or Hello” or the simplicity of a wave. I admire his gusto. Sidenote, He’s so adorable-I know I know I shouldn’t be gushing over my boss’s son, but his chubby cheeks and almond eyes melt my heart like butter on toast!

Ahem-I better get back to answering those emails and drink this beautiful cup of expensive mud before it gets lukewarm. Yummy, The delectable taste is a boost of serotonin! I really should get to work buuut Hobi did command me to get every last bit and technically he is my boss through some type of weird relative aspect. He is the boss.

Just in a moment of seconds, The breakfast and drink was trash. Something that good should be sinful. I feel terrible I should have saved some for the babies; they would have some, especially Jungkook.

The babies should be here any minute.

[slutneto]

Love the recent asks you answered. I can't get over two points. one very early in s1 Greg says that Tom is lonely and scared, which actually is a very good analysis of Tom. And two in s2 he says he didn't want a haircut but someone to touch his hair, it's soothing. Very short but insightful windows, your thoughts ?

thank you so much, i love overanalysing these two, so keep them coming xx

i love just how quickly greg figured tom out. mainly because tom hides behind the mask of dollar store brand of toxic masculinity. at the time, tom was scared because of the cruises shit going down, that was an easy deduction, but clocking in the fact that tom, a person who has, theoretically, everything, is actually depressingly lonely, is quite impressive. i guess when you find the right person, understanding them becomes almost instinctual, you know?

the hair thing though. for the longest time, i used to think that 2.7 is tomgreg's greatest ep (that is until 3.7, 3.8 and 3.9 dropped), there is so much that happens on that front, and greg's anxious admittance that he needs physical comfort to deal with stress is surely something important.

it made me realise a couple of things. a. there is no way that greg isn't single; you don't find convoluted ways of receiving comfort, if you can just go home and ask for it. no. he is single and lonely. b. in truth, tom is the only person that touches greg. of course there are awkward hugs with the sibs and that one time logan pinched his cheek, sure, but nothing consistent. tom touches him excessively and somewhat reliably. surely, if greg is this touch-starved, having tom's hands on him, always, must drive him absolutely insane. c. even though b is true, greg does not have it in him to ask tom for comfort, not yet. d. but it awakens something in tom himself. he remembers this conversation when greg is visibly confused and shaken in 3.7, he touches his head and kisses him on the forehead because of this conversation. in 3.9 he hugs greg and lets him linger and move in as close as he possibly can because he cannot reassure him with words anymore than he already did. all of this because he now knows physical touch is the way to go with greg.

i think it's spectacular how well they understand and perceive each other, while remaining completely blind to some aspects of their relationship.

[shinji-soju]

JATP Sexuality Analysis: Luke Patterson

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NOTE: This is just a headcanon. Anything i say here is my perception of the character based on personal experiences, intuition, and careful analysis. It by no means solidifes the characters actual orientations.

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Straight but comfortable and confident in his sexuality. Kinda metrosexual.

I relate to Luke on many levels, we're A L O T alike. So i'm guessing this based on that andddd his interactions throughout the show.

Luke oozes confidence! For heavens sake the boy almost never wears sleeves! He KNOWS he's hot! You can tell by the way he carries himself, his mannerisms- especially when he's on stage! This paints a picture of him also being secure in his identity and not feeling uncomfortable with showing affection towards the same sex.

I'm not saying he'd flirt with anything that breathes air and walks on two legs. I'm saying he's able to be emotionally close with his male friends and get in their personal space without it feeling awkword- just platonic affection. I get the feeling Luke is a bit metrosexual. No, that does not mean he's sexually attracted at that delly/grocery place. Meaning, hes straight but sensitive and in touch with his femininity. Men falling under this term may be mistaken for gay or bisexual.

From all those moments where he's being genuine and vulnerable and honest, to crying when Julie gives 'Unsaid Emily' to his mom, to the raw emotions he embodies while talking about music and performing. I'd say he's pretty sensitive.

Lets talk about Edge of Great (S 1, Ep 7). Yall know whats coming... The scene where Luke plants a lil smoochie smooch on Reggie- indirectly, but still.

SCENE RECAP: The boys are in the studio and Alex is upset about Willie cutting ties. Luke and Reggie try to comfort him and Reggie says something like "a little fire on stage can make the performance better. [To Luke] Like you and Julie.". Luke denies this, claiming he has chemistry with everyone he performs with, then demonstrates by serenading Reggie. Reggie is speechless and stunned where he stands and says "wow, that was pretty hot". Then Luke kisses his fingers and places them on Reggies lips. The scene closes with Reggie attempting to regain his composure by redirecting the topic, "girls, am i right?", he says. Luke responds, "yeah", with a sly smirk and a chuckle behind his breath.

The confidence, the zero hesitation, the smoothness! EVERYTHING!!! 😚🤌

A few other things that make me think this:

How often Luke and Alex hold hands.

He's actually pretty physically affectionate, like i said before. There a lot of social norms expecting men to be "manly" and painting male on male affection to instantly have homosexual tendencies (even though its totally fine to hug, hold hands, or whatever with your friends no matter your sexuality or gender!!!). But for Luke, this closeness he has with Reggie and Alex it's just so natural. He probably couldn't go a day without wrapping his arm around their backs and over their shoulders, patting them, etc... All the little gestures.

When him and Reggie share a mic, CHEMISTRYYYY~ !!!!

But also Luke sharing a mic with Julie. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SWEET MAMA!

He's not scared to cry or get emotional, and nor does he shame Reggie and Alex for their emotions either.

The way he act's with Julie while opening up emotionally to her. Yknow, that sweet, innocent, sometimes awkward demeanour he has.

He's mentioned girls, even flirted with them, cough julies mom cough, but never hinted at an attraction to men. (At least from what i detected)

It's canon that he's got big heart eyes for Julie. So that excludes the possibility of him being gay. (He could still be bi but benajdksks my gaydar genuinely does not pick up the fruity tootie in this boy)

[thedeviljudges]

yohan + physical tough + trauma response

disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.

also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.

so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.

so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.

yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.

episode one

the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.

later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.

next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.

i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:

yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.

if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.

we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.

the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.

and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.

him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.

episode two

we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.

later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.

okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.

so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.

of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.

yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.

anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.

and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.

with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.

so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.

then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?

episode three

yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.

and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.

and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.

and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.

and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.

it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.

episode four

i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.

this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.

what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.

after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).

basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.

then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.

tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.

yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.

later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.

but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.

i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.

so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:

because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.

and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.

and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.

and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?

the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.

and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.

you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.

episode six

so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.

after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.

additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.

the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.

and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.

the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.

because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.

but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.

but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.

to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.

but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.

episode seven

the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.

and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.

episode eight

the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.

we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.

and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.

additional thoughts

i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.

the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.

yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes

day flings

he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex

inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself

he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason

and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:

i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.

yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.

lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.

“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).

“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).

“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”

yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.

yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.

and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.

and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao