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aminiatureworld · 3 years ago

Text

Spotlight

Characters: Albedo, Kazuha, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,707

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Modern AU in which the reader’s s/o is famous.

Author’s Note: My first crack at a modern AU and I enjoyed it immensely! My personal media of choice definitely came through in this prompt. I would now kill for Albedo to read Shakespeare. Also streamer Kazuha is an inspired idea, thank you anon for that! Not to mention musician Xiao, truly chef’s kiss.

Albedo

Albedo was a stage actor, both by education and by trade. Starting in high school he began in local productions, before entering into the Mondstadt Theateracademie. After appearing as Estragon in a filmed version of Waiting for Godot, he began to be scouted for various television miniseries, eventually becoming a well-respected film actor.

You arrived somewhere in the middle of his career. Working as a costume assistant at the Academie you had quickly fallen for the inquisitive and deceptively intense soul that exuded every color of emotion onstage, from raging anger to soft sorrow, before stepping into the wings and resuming an aura of utter calm. He had captivated you, both as an actor and as a human being; and when you learned that he had also become slightly infatuated with you, well, it was hard not to feel like you had stepped into a wonderful play, or perhaps simply a wonderful play had been brought to life.

The switch from theatre to screen was certainly a jarring one for both of you. When the first film contract was offered Albedo had stared at it for a long time, rereading it over and over again as the coffee in front of him quickly turned cold.

“Is there something wrong with the contract?” You had asked.

“No, it’s not that. It’s only…”

“Only?”

“Only on stage there is a single audience. You can feel their reactions, can measure their response. There is nothing nebulous about the people around you. But on film you cannot do that. You cannot adjust for time of day, or whether it’s a weekend or a Friday performance. You must let your lines out and hope that they land without even being able to calculate it.”

“It’s not a science experiment my darling,” you had teased.

“Maybe not,” Albedo admitted. Still he continued to read and reread, and it was only until the next afternoon that he had told you his answer.

Still, you had to admit that he made a fantastic actor. The naturally inward part of your partner’s personality, the part that always seemed to jump out the moment he left the stage, worked well to balance with the camera’s need for subtlety, unlike the projection required for stage plays. It was little surprise then that he should grow so popular. Despite all the worries about measuring audience response, there was no doubting the success of Albedo’s acting career.

Being a naturally withdrawn person Albedo mostly stayed off of social media. He had one private Instagram for friends – he didn’t post anything; one private Facebook for family – the only picture was one of you two in the mountains next to a particularly weird looking rock; and WhatsApp – which could barely be counted. Thus when he started blowing up on Twitter – a platform you had a mostly unused account on – the reaction was mostly one of “why are they talking about me?”

Not that Albedo minded fan enthusiasm, indeed when people started showing up in droves at the stage door for him he was always careful to thank everyone collectively and talk to as many people as possible, it just sort of confused him that so many people should take a vested interest in the actor and not just the character.

“It’s because they want to show you how wonderful they think your performances are,” you’d explained.

“I don’t have Twitter,” Albedo deadpanned.

Despite his protests though you sometimes caught him scrolling on your account, face slightly red at all the positive attention. His habit of internal self-deprecation had never truly gone away. That fact became slightly unfortunate in the face of hate comments. It was hard for Albedo not to take things personally. If someone said his acting was shit then you would catch Albedo reading the same line over and over again, as if to achieve mathematical perfection. It was a difficult urge to fight, and you were always careful to give Albedo plenty of reassurance when these things popped up, as well as surreptitiously blocking the trolls that wandered their way onto your dash.

This habit to take things at face value did not apply when you entered the mix. As far as Albedo was concerned you were his partner and no amount of complaining online would make him second guess that or second guess your worth. Even if you thought that you had a better hold on social media assholerly than he did Albedo would still make sure that for every hate comment that floated your way there were at least three compliments on his part. Mentioning you off-handedly in press interviews, saying that he had to go home to his partner, leaving small sketches on post-it notes scattered throughout your apartment, there were no lengths that Albedo wouldn’t go to assure you. And, if you had to admit, these things truly did make you feel better on the days when the small part of your brain said that this wasn’t mindless social media harassment.

Being an actor Albedo had an incredibly fine-tuned sense of the way that people responded to emotions, as if he were performing some grand sort of scientific experiment to see how many people he could sway with his gift. As of such he was always careful that, regardless of his success, things between you were never upturned. You were with him before he was really famous, and you would be there during and after. Albedo loved you deeply; though he often said that he hated romance plays for how sappy they were in his mind your relationship was the one, glowing exception – regardless of the other happy couples in the world. Though it was slightly idealistic, it was the kind of intensity that comprised Albedo’s personality, was the thing that had garnered him so much success.

Albedo loved you deeply, and no amount of surprise movie contracts would change that.

Kazuha

You had to admit that when you had met Kazuha you had no idea about his double life as a streamer. He was merely one of the many singers that came and went to the recording studios, all people eager to unleash their talent on the world. But unlike the rest of them, Kazuha could make you laugh.

Perhaps then it was unsurprising that Kazuha should be a popular streamer. Though his often florid talking style might seem on paper like it would be too grating for streaming, in reality his soft cadence combined with a dry sense of humor made him wildly popular. He rarely lost his temper, making him palatable to those who wanted to have a fun time without blowing their ears out, and when he did lose it his hyper-specific, often nonsensical insults were the stuff of memes. No, in retrospect it was not all that surprising that Kazuha was a beloved streamer.

At heart though, Kazuha had told you over coffee, the enthusiastic and earnest internet sensation was a poet.

“When you’ve had a life as dissonant as mine, how can you not be?” He’d joked. And indeed perhaps he was right, for Kazuha was as wonderful a poet as you had ever read. He was born to be a writer, you had told him.

You were also an aspiring singer, as well as a friend of the studio owner where you did your recordings. As such you had made it a habit to help around the studio when you weren’t also working or studying. As you and Kazuha were both students with intense side jobs, the good natured complaining of overworked students also made their way into you rapport, a friendship that grew day-by-day. Eventually it sprouted into love.

Though you knew that Kazuha was a streamer when your relationship started, in reality you hadn’t realized how truly popular he had become. The first time you watched one of his streams you were blown away by his popularity. Watching your first livestream only cemented that. It was hard to believe that your down-to-earth, slightly self-effacing, partner could have garnered such a large fanbase. Not that you didn’t think he deserved it. He absolutely did. However after seeing that you admitted you were a bit awestruck.

“Why? Am I not the same person on screen and off?”

“Of course you are! It’s just, well, my partner’s a celebrity!”

“I would go that far,” Kazuha laughed.

“Well you certainly are to me!”

Nevertheless your dynamic didn’t change much afterwards, besides the occasional teasing on both of your parts. Kazuha was after all Kazuha at the end of the day.

At the beginning Kazuha didn’t mention you much on stream, certainly not by name, you had to admit you were a bit intimidated by the idea of being recognizable on the internet, even if it was just by name.

“This is also my partner’s favorite map.” Had been his first mention, during a game of Mario Kart.

Despite this offhanded remark however the chat had almost immediately exploded, followed by the rest of the fanbase. Though there was, of course, some disappointed buzz – isn’t there always – the reaction was immensely positive. Positive, and curious.

After a while Kazuha started mentioning you more often in streams, especially after the two fo you moved in. Sometimes you would hear him as you passed him room – Kazuha liked to keep the door open – other times you would watch it on stream yourself.

“My partner hates this character. Too bad you can’t throw evidence.”

“Nobody tell my partner that I’m afraid of basements. I don’t need them to know that when laundry day rolls around.”

“Hey if you’re watching this dear, I promise that it’s not that much money. You don’t need to look at the bank account. Who am I kidding, this is why we don’t share one.”

“Hey, darling I know you’re watching this. Can you check and make sure I left my keys on the coffee table, they aren’t on my desk. Also can you make tea?”

Despite fans knowing very little about you, you were surprised by the amount of positive comments that flooded the streams. You had to admit that your initial expectations had been “people are going to find me annoying”. Instead funny comics of your voice drifting in from the other room popped up, along with a lot of waving and “tell your partner not to trust you with the keys” after Kazuha fell off a cliff one too many times. It was an odd experience, to be so happy about the comments of faceless people, people to whom you were also faceless.

Eventually Kazuha’s hardwork in singing paid off and his first single was recorded and given a deal. On the evening of the release livestream Kazuha set up in the living room, angling the camera so that you could sit on the chair just out of frame. You had talked about the release for months now, and a few weeks ago Kazuha had brought up the idea of a pseudo-stream reveal.

“I was wondering if you’d like to say hello to the audience or wave when my song is released. I understand that you’re hesitant about those sort of things, and I would never ask of you something that would make you uncomfortable. This relationship is the most precious thing to me, and I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured or exploited in any ways.”

“Thank you for being so considerate Kazuha. I’ll think about it.”

Now you sat in the chair, fidgeting slightly, waiting as the countdown on his laptop reached one. You excitement certainly seemed matched by that of the fans, who were typing wildly in the chat.

Eventually the screen faded to black and the chatting quieted down. The first few notes of a wooden flute emerged, combined with the strumming of a guitar. As the familiar words began to echo through the laptop speaker you found yourself washed away. Kazuha was always enthralling when he sang. At the end of the song was a dedication, and though Kazuha had already alluded to it, the sincerity still took your breath away.

To my dearest partner. My compass and my guiding star throughout this realization of my dream. You are my sun and my stars, and I’m forever devoted to you. Thank you for sharing in this project, and thank you for giving me such love.

Perhaps it was slightly saccharine. Regardless you felt the sudden, uninhibited urge to cry.

“So, what did everyone think?” Kazuha asked into the mic, face reappearing on screen. He was slightly giddy, and you watched as his hand tugged on the fabric of his linen belt.

Immediately the chat exploded, as waves of “that was amazing”, “I’m crying now”, and “the end was so sweet!” flooded the screen.

“Thank you all for the encouragement!” Kazuha let out a laugh, one that you could tell was one of utter euphoria, and no little relief. “There’s someone else I think who would like to thank you.”

Who knew that a small sentence could cause such a splash?

You barely had time to let out a tentative “Hello,” before an immediate wave of excited screaming covered the bottom left of Kazuha’s stream. “Thank you for supporting Kazuha’s song. And thank you for always being nice to me.” With a tentative wave of the hand you collapsed back on your chair, slightly hysterical laughter rising inside you out of the relief that flooded through you upon seeing the enthused fan reaction.

Afterwards your voice became the occasional guest on Kazuha’s streams, always greeted with enthusiasm. Kazuha continued to grow in popularity, and his music continued to capture a larger and larger audience.

All throughout this you never felt a snag in your relationship. Kazuha may have been a big streaming personality, but he was also a kind and considerate partner, the best that one could ask for in a significant other. Kazuha’s love was never in question. And neither was yours.

Xiao

Sometimes you were a little self-conscious about the way that you met Xiao.

Though Xiao had definitely grown a following by the time you met – being the main pianist for a popular singer and a classical pseudo-prodigy in both piano and flute his own right certainly had roped him an enthusiastic fanbase – you had simply known him as “the guy who hogs the practice room”.

“I swear to the gods, how long can that bastard take to practice!” You texted angrily at your friend one day. Qixing Conservatory was the premiere music place in Liyue, but what should’ve been an amazing opportunity was being overshadowed by a practice room partner who appeared to not have a life, one who also had the obnoxious habit of playing the same damn thing over, and over, and over again.

“Playing the same piece as before?”

“Yes! Ugh I don’t even know what it’s called but I’ve heard it enough times to last a lifetime, maybe five!”

“Damn I’m sorry, what time does he usually end?”

“I don’t even know. Some time in the early evening. It’s obviously never gotten through to his brain that other people also need to practice. Or that hearing the same notes over and over while waiting makes me want to chuck my binder against a wall.”

“Lol. I kinda want to hear it now. Can you send a video, will the sound pick up?”

“I don’t know how it wouldn’t.”

“…”

“Holy shit! Okay, I need you to watch this video and tell me if you recognize the pianist.”

Safe to say you nearly fell out of your chair upon figuring out Xiao’s identity. Not that you weren’t already about to out of pure exasperation. Still, there was something much more intimidating about shaming a successful musician, and you no longer had the urge to glare at Xiao every time he left the practice room. Honestly, you would have been perfectly happy keeping your head down and never interacting with him at all.

Fate, however, has a sense of humor.

To be fair, some of it was your fault. You knew that Erlkonig was a massively difficult piece. You knew that you should’ve picked something else, knew that even Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata mvt. Three had to be less painful than the non-vocal arrangement you’d placed in front of your eyes. You were never trusting your music taste with your piece choices again. This was a terrible mistake.

“These stupid fucking running notes!” You let out, a groan of exasperation racing through you. Half slamming (you weren’t crazy) the piano cover down you swung the door of the practice room open. You didn’t want to deal with this anymore. Trying to ignore the embarrassment that rose up seeing Xiao waiting on a chair next to the door you went to walk down the hallway.

“You should work on it with a dotted sixteenth note pattern.”

It was the first time that Xiao had ever spoken to you.

Afterwards a rapport slowly grew between the two of you. Often Xiao said nothing as you passed, rarely you made a gesture of recognition when he finally reappeared from the practice room. However soon the occasional word or phrase of advice grew into longer sentences, later these sentences evolved into pieces of conversation. Soon enough you discovered, to your slight horror, that you found yourself yearning for Xiao’s company.

Almost as soon as you’d finally figured out your feelings you were hit with a wave of denial. You weren’t falling for Xiao? How could you fall for someone who got on your nerves so much? Sure he gave you advice, but what about it? You deserved it after having to hear him over and over again while waiting. Certainly Xiao didn’t seem interested in you, he barely talked to you! Yeah he was getting more talkative, but it’s easier to talk to people when you’re giving them advice. There’s no way you were in love with Xiao. And there was no way he was in love with you.

To say that Xiao’s career as a musician, never mind his genuine technical talent at two instruments, was a barrier would be an understatement. The moment you thought you were making some progress, finally admitting to yourself that this crush was, in fact, real, a wave of anxiety would pass over you. Xiao was too good for you, he was too important. Here was a man who had a successful musical career already up in the air while you banged frustratedly on the keys. Why would someone that successful be interested in you? Not to mention the fact that he didn’t seem interested.

Because, you had to admit, you did like Xiao’s music. Not just his classical repertoire, but his pop music as well. It was slightly jazzy, mellow and playful and utterly unlike the scowling musician behind it – something you secretly thought extremely cute and surprisingly charming. To him you were just a practice roommate, and you were sure he’d find the idea of dating someone who was more familiar with his public persona irritating.

So you buried your feelings, or tried to. Unfortunately like sometimes attracts like, and just as Xiao secretly had the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, you weren’t nearly as clever about things as you would like.

“Is there something on my face?” Xiao asked, his voice gruff and slightly reluctant.

“No, why would there be?”

“Because you’re staring at it!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” You let your head drop, looking intently at the ivories in front of you. Eventually there was a sigh.

“You don’t have to do that. I… I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! You staring down is weird too. Let’s, let’s just hurry up and do this passage.”

After that you became more aware of your staring habit. You also became more aware of Xiao’s own habit, leaning towards you. Sometimes you swore that you could feel the tips of his hair tickling your neck, light and feathery and stealing all your attention.

“Hey, Xiao, do you need glasses?”

“Why would you asked that!” Xiao flared up, face reddening. By this time you’d become more accustomed to these flareups of grumpiness, and ignoring it you pressed on.

“It’s just, you seem to be leaning forward.”

“I’m not!” Immediately Xiao shifted back, almost stepping away. Without thinking about it you reached to grab his hand.

“I didn’t mean it was a bad thing!” You got out, before becoming aware of your hand grasping Xiao’s. The touch felt electric, and you were suddenly so very aware of everything, yet unable to focus at all.

“Then you shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Xiao grumbled.

Slowly the musician leaned closer to you once more. You had already half stood up and now you found yourself stepping closer to Xiao. The world continued to shrink until you were almost pressed together. Xiao was leaning forward, as were you, and the longer tufts of his hair were tickling your cheek, helped by the fan whirring away in the corner. Your hand was still in his, but all your thoughts appeared to have died away.

“Xiao?”

“Is this, too close?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Xiao?”

“What?”

“I like your music. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

“Why would it?”

“I don’t know. I just, I also like you, not just your music. But I also like your music.”

“I also like yours too.”

Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic of confessions, but at that point you were far too carried away by the moment, or maybe by the fact that was the most sentences Xiao had strung together that weren’t about triplets. Regardless of the fact, you were suddenly seized by incredible happiness, as all appeared to right itself.

Afterwards initially little changed, Xiao was a gruff as ever, you were still itching to play in the practice room more. Nevertheless when you went to a concert of his for the first time and he let out a small, almost imperceptible, smile your way you knew things had changed. They would keep changing perhaps, or maybe they wouldn’t. After all, this moment was beautiful.

So much that you didn’t even mind the hours spent waiting for the practice room.

#genshin impact #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #genshin albedo #genshin kazuha #genshin xiao #genshin impact fanfiction #requested #my writing #scenarios

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haztory · 4 years ago

Text

𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐤 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. (2)

-chapter two: the story of us; warnings for this chapter include a brief discussion and mentioning of sexual assault. it is not described in detail nor does it happen to anyone in this fic. i will not ever be using sexual assault as a plot device as i think that’s unnecessary. however, because it is prevalent in female culture, or at least the discussion of it is, it is briefly mentioned.

if this makes anyone uncomfortable, please skip over! i will not be offended at all!

-summary: His eyes are a sea of green that you can't seem to stop drowning in.

a/n: this chapter is a doozy yall, im so sorry. this is mainly to serve as complete exposition of reader and iwa, so it’s hella long. i had an original idea of how i wanted this to go and then i started writing and this happened. lmfao. thank you all for being patient and loving and your comments are so wonderful! i had midterms all last week and all i could think about was writing this! so thank you all and i hope you all enjoy! next chapter will be pure chaos and fun!

i was listening to “cloud 9″ by beach bunny for this chapter! so that might help you understand how i see reader and iwa <33

(w.c.: 8,662 words)

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You’re ten years old when you meet Iwaizumi Hajime for the first time.

He’s an inch shorter than you, skinny, hair set in an unorganized mess of spikes, and he smells of sweat. It’s the least enticing first impression you’ve ever encountered, wondering briefly if this is what all of Miyagi Prefecture has to offer.

Because if so, you’re not looking forward to it.

He’s blocking the entrance to the neighborhood park with his bike, back facing towards you and an arm stretched outward-pointing at something across the park. The same park that your mother has forced you to attend, kicking you out of your new home filled with moving boxes, a warm smile on her face and a simple request to “go have fun”.

A request that was starting to seem like more of a problem than you anticipated.

You’re halted in front of the gates to the area for a solid minute, the boy in front of you being less than aware of your presence as he continues to shout from across the park.

“Grab all of them, Oikawa!”

There’s another boy roughly the same age holding several items that look to be action figures close to his chest. His face is scrunched up and his shoulders slouched as he takes exaggerated sluggish steps while crossing the courtyard. He’s sweaty too, just like the boy in front of you.

“But there’s so many, Iwaaa. Can’t you help me?”

“You’re such a baby, Oikawa.”

The one named Oikawa is about to respond when he stops his movements altogether. He merely points his finger, eyes fixated on something behind his black-haired friend.

You realize a bit too late that he’s pointing at you.

The friend, Iwa as he was called, turns his head with a questioning hum, green eyes meeting yours. A sea of emerald.

“Oh,” he breathes out, voice high in timber and flooded in awkwardness, raising his hand in a shy greeting, “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” you respond in equal awkwardness, the kind that only a new kid can embody. Uneasiness has been settled into your bones ever since the move was announced, and now, as you stand before two physical embodiments of your displacement in this area, the feeling seems to sink even deeper into your stomach. “You’re blocking the entrance.”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry ‘bout that.” He begins a cumbersome shuffle of pushing the bike he was sitting on backward, small grunts escaping his mouth as he tries to make space for you to enter. It’s a slow process, considering he teeters from side to side and struggles to smoothly retreat from the space. Oikawa snickers in the background, some teasing words being aired that you are too far to hear, but they must be irking enough considering Iwa mutters a “shut up, idiot” in response.

The friendship is formidable, you don’t need to know them for long to see that. Envy and all its bitter acid coat your tongue.

“Are you the one that just moved in?” Oikawa speaks up.

You nod.

“How old are you? Are you going to Kitagawa Elementary? Have you already—”

Iwa interrupts the ferociously excited boy with a gentle scoff, “Calm down, Oikawa. Give her some air. Geez.”

“I just want to know more about the new girl, Iwa-chan!”

“Yeah, well you’re doing it wrong.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes and clutches the toys in his arms tighter, “You do it then!”

“Do what?”

“Introduce us! Make friends!”

“I think you blew it already.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun. If she’s going to the same place as us, she might as well join us! What do you say, new girl?”

You’re shaken from the brief exclusion of the conversation— realizing they’re including you this time— when Iwa tears his eyes away from his friend and meets yours once again. Upon connection with the emeralds, your throat constricts your throat and the relief of ease washes over. The hesitancy that was bubbling in your stomach starts to dissipate when he looks at you— almost comforted by his dark yet steady stare— but the sense is quickly replaced by something else that shakes you. Your skin prickles, like fire ants marching up the pattern of your skin, and your palms start to sweat despite the cooling temperatures and the light breeze blowing against your skin.

You’d have to tell your mom about this, just to make sure you weren’t getting sick.

“Would you like to join us?” Iwa asks. There’s no trace of a smile on his face but the invitation isn’t lacking in warmth. It’s a subtle kind, almost imperceptible if it weren’t for the look of curiosity residing upon his features. He speaks gently, like there wasn’t a distance between you two and another person listening in on the conversation, pointing his question and attention solely at you. There was a center of his gravitational pull and it was in your direction.

He’s waiting for your answer, and not the kind that results after courteously asking someone a question; You can tell he is really waiting, wanting to know what you say because his eyes hold onto yours in a way that is much more mature than a boy at the tender age of ten should be looking at someone.

He’s sincere. He doesn’t even know you and yet he waits upon you as though your response were one he was to weigh considerably with his agenda. He’s a stranger, only said two things directly to you, and yet you feel weightless in the most minute of his attention.

The rocks of anxiety that were sitting heavily in your stomach for the past month have disappeared and the answer that he waits so intensely for comes rather naturally. It’s the surest you’ve felt in a while. You don't know them at all, aren't even sure if you'll like them, but what would you be other than a fool to not follow the path of certain safety laid out in front of you, disguised as a black-haired boy with the spiky hair? How can you be sure unless you don't see for yourself?

“Yeah,” you sigh out, burdensome weight lifting off your shoulders at the answer, “Can I?”

“Yeah. You can.” He affirms with a nod, the corner of his lips quirking upward. Oikawa, rather befittingly, shouts a cheer, resuming his incessant chatter in throwing an onslaught of questions your way but you’re not listening. Pulled elsewhere you find your gaze being drawn back to the calm and steady boy, with the sea of emerald in his eyes.

“I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, by the way. And that’s Oikawa Tooru.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

“Cool.”

You spend the whole day with them, quickly finding a natural place in their relationship, serving as the happy in-between of the flamboyant nature of Oikawa and the pillar of stone that is Iwaizumi. It’s fun, the most fun you’ve had in the entirety of your move that you find yourself trying to make some kind of excuse to extend the day when the sun starts to set.

But Oikawa has to go home, and so does Iwa, and the disappointment is more than apparent on your face. There’s the unmistakable promise of seeing one another again, that of which was affirmed when Oikawa held out his pinky for you to take and solidify the statement on.

“I can walk you home if you want.” Iwaizumi tells you after you both wave your goodbyes to the other brunet. It’s a godsend, a miracle from the heavens who heard your building plight and decided to spare your jilted mind with some form of comfort.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” you tell him, purely as a formality. Your mother’s lessons of never burdening others kicking into gear at his offer, but you plead, secretly in the deep recesses of your brain that he disagrees. Hope desperately that he’ll take the initiative and stay with you just a moment longer.

He shakes his head, bearing a toothy smile that is missing one of his canines. “I don’t mind. My mom always tells me to make sure girls get home safe.”

Calm, steady, comforting. You selfishly agree before you have half a mind to say otherwise, “Okay. I live this way.”

And as he trails beside you, holding his bike in his hands as he walks at the pace you set, telling you the details about his favorite monster movie, you find yourself incredibly enamored with the short, sweaty boy that hates green tea and loves summertime.

And not for the first time.

You’re thirteen when you realize that you have a terribly, horribly, deeply incessant crush on Iwaizumi Hajime.

It’s lunchtime and while you’re usually quick to eat with the resident bickering duo of Sendai, they’ve ditched you for volleyball practice— and not for the first time. So you sit with your other group of close friends, the ones you made through the conventional school setting, and not because they impulsively adopted you into their routine. They’re the necessary and equal balance to the growing testosterone you religiously spend your weekends with, so ultimately you’re not too upset at being left behind for a sport.

Besides, it’s nice to be surrounded by girls who talk about normal things instead of sweaty violent boys that only talk about volleyball and occasionally the things you like.

Mai, a girl with a short bob that frames her round face, shakes the table with her loud laughter, the curtain of her hair swaying in tune to her joyful movement. She was the first friend you made in this group, and easily the one you’re closest to. The complete opposite of Hajime if her unabashed, frantic excitement is anything to go by. But much like the spaces in this Miyagi heart of yours that’s dedicated to Tooru and Hajime, there’s one for her too. She grabs onto one of your arms and holds it tightly, seeking stability as her melodic laughter rings through your table.

It’s hard not to laugh alongside her.

“Please!” She begs Yua, a blonde girl in the year above you, and wipes her eyes free from the laughter-induced tears, “No more! I’m gonna pee!”

Yua huffs, shrugging her shoulders to say that Mai’s inability to hold her urine was beyond her control, “I’m serious! That’s how I found out Kaito had a crush on me!”

“And what did you do?” You ask, laughter lacing your own words at the tale Yua expertly weaved, describing in excruciating detail how Kaito from your third period wrote a love letter comparing Yua’s lips to that of a whale as if that was somehow a compliment.

“I ran away! What else was I supposed to do?!”

Mai howls with laughter, her body being thrown against yours and her arms flailing with the movements, unable to contain herself. You’re almost identical, finding that you follow Mai’s gesticulation in perfect countering. Where she pushes you left, you move in sync, allowing her to lean her weight on you as you both lose yourself in the story.

For as much seriousness as she tries to implement in her words, the quirking of her lips betray Yua, “Laugh all you want, but wait ‘til this happens to you! Then you’ll get it!”

“I don’t think Mai and I have to worry about that,” you tell her, the remainder of your laughter dying out of your words. Mai snaps upward, her body no longer slumped against yours, and instead of facing you with furrowed brows and an offended expression.

The two friends speak simultaneously, one with indignation and the other with confusion “Why not?”

The pointedness of the question makes it seem as though your words were wrong, a misstep in a direction that you have to apologize for. Regardless of whether or not you know why. “Uh, ‘cause no one likes us like that?”

Mai scoffs, crossing her arms and tilting her nose upwards, “Speak for yourself.”

“Sorry, no one likes me like that. So I don’t have to worry.” You say with a smile punctuating the statement with a scoop of rice into your mouth. It wasn’t a statement meant to be considered deeply, it was a simple fact. There were hardly any thirteen-year-olds looking your way, and even if there were, it wasn’t like your attention was focused on them either. All the boys in school were either too annoying or too stupid.

Except for Hajime. He was the only tolerable one. Oikawa fell into the “too annoying” category. But you still loved him—sometimes.

Yua and Mai share a glance, a fleeting look before they look back at you, “You’re joking, right?”

You look up from your food to meet their furrowed stares, “What?”

They share another glance, Mai answering Yua’s silent question with a shrug of her shoulders. You’re completely left in the dark. “Wait, what’s going on?”

“Okay, so what if,” Yua begins, the familiar teasing lilt that you’ve widely associated with the blonde returning, stressing on the ‘if’, “someone did like you. What would you do?”

They both look at you with waggling eyebrows, like they’ve cornered you into the exact hypothetical they want you to be in. While this isn’t necessarily an unfamiliar place to be in, it is a weird one, considering you and boys have never really been the topic of conversation unless Iwa and Oikawa were somehow brought up. But your friendship with them was well known and not exactly hidden at all. It wasn’t sensational, nor was it the topic of gossip. Neither was the fact that you aren’t exactly the kind of girl the boys of Kitagawa First were looking at if they were even looking at girls.

“But no one likes me like that.”

“Answer the question.”

You gesture in exasperation, “I don’t know! I’m not really into anyone like that, so I guess I’d say no?”

The two girls pause again, sharing another look.

“Okay, can you two stop that?”

Mai speaks up this time, almost disbelieving, “You really don’t like anyone?”

“Am I supposed to?”

Yua sings, “Not even Iwaizumiii?”

The chopsticks that you held deftly in your hands go limp and a straight shot of shock runs down your spine. Time stands still in this cramped cafeteria and it feels like your head has been dunked into a bucket of cold water, halting the train of thought and highlighting every possible exit in this building.

The red lights of panic have turned on in your brain and they’re screaming at you to run.

“I— I don’t— what are you guys talking about?”

Your two best friends, who now resemble Satan’s assistants more than anything remotely positive to you, share their third unspoken glance, and you’re about to lose it.

“So,” Yua starts again, tearing her sly eyes from Mai’s excited ones, “You do like him?”

Code red. Abandon ship. Abort. R-U-N.

“No! He— I— We’re just friends!”

“Oh my god!” Mai slams her hands on the surface of the table, her brown eyes boring into your widened ones as she leans over to invade your personal space and poke your chest.

“You like him!”

The brain that is usually so quick with an excuse, trained to be sharp-witted and smart from years of intense teasing from Tooru and Hajime, suddenly feels like mush in your head. Ooey, gooey mush that can’t come up with anything but stuttering, “N-No” at the idea of having some romantic inclination towards Hajime. The best friend you hang out with every weekend; The boy that always walks you home and always makes sure your comments are heard; The spiky-haired idiot with a sea of emerald in his eyes that you always seem to drown in.

But, that’s not— that doesn’t mean— No.

You don’t like Hajime like that. He’s just a really really good friend. That you enjoy spending time with. That makes you feel comfortable with just a single look. The friend that you always want around, regardless of the kind of day. Yeah. That’s it.

Hajime is just that kind of person.

Yua gives an unconvinced hum and taps her bright pink nails on the table surface, “When you think about another girl liking him, do you get jealous?”

Mai backs up from your face to give a wide smile at the blonde, pointing at her wickedly and almost shouting, “Ooh! Good question!”

“Thanks, I read it in my sister’s magazine.”

Mai turns back, almost touching your nose with hers, “Well? Do you?”

The “no” is on the tip of your tongue as an instinctual defense against this personal interrogation, but it doesn’t come out. Partly because of the mush of your brain but also because you know any denial of that question just simply isn’t true; Because when Saran followed Hajime around all day in grade six, you distinctly remember being in a foul mood for a while.

A mood that could only be fixed when Hajime indirectly affirmed that he did not like her.

Oh god.

You like Hajime.

You like his stupid face and his stupid laugh and the stupid way he teases you and the stupid way he makes you feel.

Your friends laugh in your face for a solid minute while you hang your head in your hands, certain that your life was completely over with the new revelation. Yua is the instigator, teasing you relentlessly over the silent confession while Mai asserts that this is the beginning of a fairytale.

She says it with such conviction that you’re almost inclined to believe her until reason kicks in, and the shamefulness of the situation kicks in. You push it down, fine with keeping the acknowledgment exactly where it is, right under your thumb. That is until Oikawa finds out about it and then suddenly, it’s no longer in your control.

You’re fourteen when he corners you after school. He’s walking you home, taking Hajime’s usual role when said boy and subject of your plight had to stay home with the sick.

You don’t think he’s going to bring it up, hardly aware he even knows about it, but he does making you choke on your spit and trip over a crack in the sidewalk. He clutches his stomach in a guffaw.

“Did you really think you could hide it from me?” Tooru teases, his finger poking at your heated cheek that you quickly swat away.

“I’m not hiding anything, Tooru,” you mutter, keeping your head turned downwards. If Oikawa even sees a smidgen of embarrassment he would never let you live it down.

“Oh, please. You’re so easy to read, especially when Iwa-chan is around. You’re all, ‘oh Iwa, you’re so smart and funny. I want to be with you forever. Mwah, mwah, mwah!’” His hands are interwoven beside his head and he attempts a poor, high-pitched imitation of your voice. Again, Oikawa Tooru belongs in the “too annoying” category that most eighth-grade boys find themselves in.

You lift your left leg, thrusting your shin outward to kick the taller boy in his behind, a move all too familiar. Really, Oikawa should have seen it coming, having had it done to him so often by Iwaizumi. He’s too swept up in the antics of teasing, though, that it surprises him and the pain in his bottom is sharp. His hands cover the stinging area.

“Ow, (Y/N)!”

“That’s what you get for being stupid.”

“See! You even act him like him!”

You raise your fist upward and he raises his hands in defense, cowering at the threat of more pain, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

He lowers his hands, one eye closed and the other peeking from behind his lowering fingers, “Gosh, so violent. I’m only trying to help!”

“I don’t need help.” You grumble.

You continue your trek onward, desperate to put as much distance between yourself and this nightmare of a conversation. But it’s not that simple. There are now three people that have realized the truth of your crush in less than a year— all of which are your closest friends. It’s only a matter of time before the friend above them all realizes it too.

Worst off, only a matter of time before someone tells him.

You turn towards Tooru with a speed that has him flinching and thrusting his hands upward for protection again. A yelp echoes around the empty street and was it not for the intensity behind your desperation, you probably would have laughed.

“Tooru.” There’s a rasp in your voice, one that you aren’t exaggerating. It makes Oikawa uncomfortable hearing such a serious depth to your previously annoyed cadence. In his continuously growing height, he stares down at you, fear crumpling his face.

“Don’t say my name like that—”

“You cannot tell Hajime.”

He straightens his posture out, hand rubbing the back of his neck. A brow is raised quizzically, “Isn’t that the whole point of having a crush? So that you can eventually tell that person about it?”

It’s not like you expect him to understand, hell, you don’t even understand it yourself. All you know is that Hajime cannot know about it; There are too many factors, too many problems that can happen. Besides, you’re sure it’s just a tiny crush, one that will go away after a couple of months.

And even if it didn’t, you still wouldn’t be able to tell him. Because you’ve been best friends for four years now, and if there was anything remotely remarkable about you, you’re sure something would’ve happened already. Because Hajime is strong, decisive, and steady. If he wants something, he goes for it; And if he wanted you, in any capacity like the way you want him, he would’ve said something.

But he doesn’t because you’re his best friend. Nothing is outstanding about you, nothing that would make you more than just the girl he’s friends with. Nothing that would make you any different from “just one of the guys”.

He would never see you as anything but.

So, it’s just easier to have Hajime as a friend than to risk it all for a likely rejection. You could swallow the feelings, bury them deep inside of you for the rest of time. It would be significantly easier than never talking to him again because you couldn’t be a big girl and not make things awkward.

You try to tell Oikawa as much, “It’s— I just— It would be easier if he didn’t know. It’ll go away soon.”

The brunet tilts his head to the side, kind of like a pouty puppy. When he’s not being a teasing butthead, he’s rather gentle with you, considerate of your emotions, and above all, eager to understand.

“Do you want it to go away?”

“Like I said, it would just be easier.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

A quiet settles between the two of you and it feels like it’s oceans wide. You, stranded out at sea in the terrorizing waves of emotions, and he, the lighthouse built on the rocks. Tall and fixed, beckoning you towards his stable ground of reason. It’s a brief reminder that when Oikawa tries, he’s not that annoying. He’s rather kind and empathetic.

“Do you want Hajime to like you?”

The deep cocoa eyes dig into you and the waves crash even more ferociously around you.

Cotton dries up your mouth, and the ache that always pains your heart whenever you think about Hajime returns in full force, “He never will.”

Oikawa huffs out a breath, back becoming imperceptibly straighter while he crosses his arms. It’s hard to imagine him as anything but that sweaty boy you met on the playground, but he stands before you a giant, body filling out from all the volleyball practice and the baby features of his face evening out to become the handsome boy girls were starting to see him as. He radiates his kind of steadiness, one different from Hajime, but equally as comforting.

It’s admirable— he’s admirable— when it's not pinned against you.

“And how do you know?”

“Tooru,” you sigh, exhaustion suddenly creeping up your shoulders along with the overwhelming urge to cry, “Please.”

You don’t feel like explaining all the intricacies of your perceived inadequacy and thank the gods above he’s a good enough friend to know when to stop prying, “Fine, fine. I’ll leave it alone. For now.”

You stare up at him, searching his face for any notion of deceit or subterfuge, “You promise you won’t say anything?”

“Yeah, yeah,” He waves his hand in dismissal, rolling his eyes in that way that portrays annoyance but the love is there. He understands you, at least.

You hold out your pinky for him, “Pinky promise?”

“What are we, ten?”

You hold your finger out further, almost waving it in his face. It’s the staple of trust in your friendship, instituted early on between you and him, and only you and him. He can’t back out now.

He takes it with a sigh of his own, huffing out his breath, and twisting his long, slender finger with yours. You shake his hand in affirmation, letting go only when you feel comfortable in the validity of his promise and resuming your walk home.

He throws an arm over your shoulder, squeezing you tightly to his body, “Eventually you’re going to have to say something.”

“I know.”

“I hope you know I’m never letting you live this down.”

“It’s like you want me to hit you again.”

Maybe he’s right. Maybe in the future, when you’re more comfortable with the fact that it’s your best friend of all people that gives you butterflies in your stomach, you’ll do something about it. But not right now, not when he spends all his time in volleyball and especially not when you were barely confident in yourself. Or maybe, it’ll go away, and you can look back on this as a funny memory rather than anything serious.

You’re fifteen when you finally accept the circumstances and become resigned to it. Finally understanding that your crush is more than just a crush, but knowing full well that that’s all you can let it be.

Hajime sits on the floor, surrounded by your regular friends plus a couple of others at Oikawa’s birthday party when he says it. You’re not supposed to hear it from your place in the kitchen, but you do and it’s a dagger to both heart and confidence. He’s confirmed everything you knew and quelled any potential rebuttal of thoughts Mai or Tooru have planted in your head.

You were stupid to think Hajime could ever see you as anything more than the girl he’s just friends with.

Your appetite quickly dissipates and you have to work extra hard to make sure pure despair doesn’t show on your face. Especially when Oikawa hears it too and he makes that face that looks like he wants to give you a hug, which makes everything ten times harder.

A kid named Matsukawa is the one that asks. You don’t blame him. He’s only fifteen, after all, asking what normal fifteen-year-olds normally talk about.

“What about (Y/N)? Would you date her?”

Hajime scoffs, a laugh on his lips as though it were the weirdest question he’s ever heard.

“She’s my best friend. That would be like dating my sister. I don’t like her like that.”

You’re fifteen and you’ve become resigned to it all, because it’s better to have Hajime as a friend, than to never have him at all. Because you would never have him; At least not in the way you want.

You don’t blame him for that either.

You cry about it later on, after the party is over and after you deny Hajime’s insistence to walk you home. He has a weird look on his face when you tell him you’ll be fine, your house is only a few blocks away. He wants to fight you on it, can see the argument forming it in that storm of green. It’s a shitty feeling to deny him so blatantly, but you really can’t stomach being around him at the moment. Not when your heart pangs longingly for him and your insecurities increase tenfold at the confirmation of your inadequacy.

Not when all of this is happening at once, showing as clear as day on your face, and he sees it. Worst of all, not when he wants to solve it, hardly understanding that he’s the cause of it.

His eyes narrow, staring intently as he studies your features. The scrutiny is uncomfortable and if he does stares a second longer the tears will fall.

“Did… something happen during the party?” Hajime asks hesitantly. There’s a whirlwind of possibilities crossing his mind, all indicating rather unsavory and horrifying ideas that have his worry bubbling beneath his skin. You’re barely meeting his gaze, hands clasped tightly before you and body way too stiff. The complete opposite of your normal demeanor, especially around him.

Usually so open, so vibrant. And here you stand before him, the dark of night surrounding you and the fluorescent glow of the streetlamps casting a ghoulish light on your face, exaggerating your dejected features more prominently.

He’s heard of worst-case scenarios when girls and boys get together, something mentioned in passing when his mother was on the phone with his aunt. He never really thought much about it, considering he would never do something like that and he doesn’t hang around many girls, to begin with for something like that to be an immediate concern..

In this stark contrast of a moment, however, he’s briefly reminded of the fact that he so often tends to forget. You’re a girl; A living, breathing, pretty girl. Everyone likes you, would be fools not to. And while he would never allow himself or anyone else to force themselves upon you, you weren’t with him for the whole party. Disappearing for a brief moment after he saw you enter the kitchen. The idea of something like that— something that horrible— happening to you under his nose has all of his instincts on fight mode, forget the flight. A shattering of the innocence he was so previously impervious to.

The implication is clear in his voice accompanied with the fear-stricken features, so you can hardly miss what he means.

“Did— Did anyone…?” His voice cracks and he hurriedly tries to clear it up with the clearing of his throat, but you heard it. It happens often when he’s wrestling with an onslaught of emotions, trying his hardest to remain calm and clear-headed and focused that sometimes his voice just gives out. Also, puberty.

The act doesn’t matter though, not when he’s silently amping himself up to fight someone if you were touched inappropriately. He would win; He’s been in a couple of fights before, usually off school property, he doesn’t mind getting into another one. Not if it was for you. And he would win; Would make sure of that.

The tussle for calm is transparent on his face. Lips struggling to stay in a closed, neutral line rather than the frown he has to hold back. His fists clench, blunt nails digging into the skin of his palms to alleviate the growing anger, only to prove futile. He so badly wants to grab you by the shoulders, shake you furiously, ask what the hell is going on because you’re never like this—

He doesn’t. He knows better. Even if the suspense is driving him up the wall and the tension that encapsulates the empty street is thick and choking him.

Finally, you say something.

“No, Haji,” you say softly, “No one did anything to me.”

It’s what Iwaizumi wants to hear; Should be ecstatic to know that you are physically unharmed, free from the taint that comes with a foreign touch, the one he’s intent to protect you from. Your voice is too quiet though, and the smile you give him is too small for him to feel any modicum of ease. You're lying. Someone did something.

“I’m fine, really!” You try again, amping up the energy to convince him. It falls flat.

“(Y/N).” That spiky head of hair tips forward, pushing himself in your averting line of sight, refusing to let you hide from him. He’s taller now, finally taller than you. While his hair is still that fluff of mess on his head, his eyes are still that piercing green that can always read you like a book and his favorite season is still summer, only this time he no longer enjoys going to the park, but instead the beach.

He’s the same Hajime you fell in love with and the remainder is enough to cause a lump swell in your throat.

“What are you hidi—”

“Iwa-chan!”

The familiar melodious voice rings out in the empty street, its owner sauntering his way over to your departing figures. There’s that recognizable air of flowering confidence rolling off of him like a humid heat and the sly shining of his pearly whites that serves as a buffer from the thick air of tension between you and Haj— Iwaizumi.

Just, Iwaizumi. No added affection.

There's magic in Oikawa’s stroll, you’re sure of it. It looks perfectly coincidental, like he just so happened to stumble upon a tense scene, instead of the very much needed and purposeful intervention for his emotionally crushed best friend and worry-fueled other best friend.

And they call him the idiot.

He sighs that flowery breath of his, throwing his arm around Iwa’s shoulders and watching the desperation that filled your gaze wash away with relief at his intrusion. Iwa’s confusion only seems to increase, but truthfully, Oikawa isn’t too concerned with his hard-headed friend. He’s really only keen on getting you out of there— out to safety and away from the source of your heartbreak.

“Iwa-chan, you have to go set up the movie player. I have no idea how to work it.”

“I’ve shown you how to do it four times, Tooru.”

“But it’s so much easier when you do it. Don’t worry, I’ll walk our precious flower home while you set up for our sleepover.”

Iwaizumi hesitates, his eyes bouncing from the self-assured smile of Oikawa to your downturned gaze. There’s something wrong, he knows it. But it’s obviously a secret he isn’t allowed into.

He won’t pry, he’s never been one to beg for secrets— never been one to want secrets told to him at all. However, there’s a particular sting at knowing that it’s you who’s hiding something and refusing to tell him. That there’s something Oikawa is aware about, that he isn’t allowed to know.

It’s not his business, he surmises. You’re not his business. He swallows that bitter pill, accepting Oikawa’s offer with a brief nod. He’s not happy, that’s plain to see, but he knows better than to insert himself where he’s not wanted.

Calm, steady, comfortable. Iwaizumi will fight for what he wants, but not when it hurts you in the process.

He bids you a brief goodbye, voice tight and rigid, clearly displaying his dissatisfaction but accepting it nonetheless. He doesn’t even look back at you. It’s what you want, you suppose. Some distance from him for your benefit, so you can at least try and forget about how you feel; Save yourself from the devastation of falling even deeper in love with him.

He enters Oikawa’s house. It’s a place you’ve been many times, slept over on many occasions yet, when Iwaizumi crosses the threshold with a strain on his shoulders and a grimace on his face, you can’t help but wonder if he’s finally going someplace that you can’t follow. If you’ve spent all these years pining over him, wondering if you would ever be enough for him, only to push him away into an area of no return.

Oikawa doesn’t give you a moment to think long about it before he’s ushering you away from the crime scene where your uncontrollable and childish feelings have brutally injured a fraying friendship and guiding you home. He talks the entire time, about everything and nothing, and you’re rather grateful for the background noise. To finally think about something other than your broken heart and Iwaizumi’s betrayed face.

He leaves you at your door with the promise that things will get better, that it won’t hurt so much, and that he’s always there for you. He places a sweet kiss on the crown of your head, turning his back with a final wave and leaving you alone with your thoughts. The promise of meeting one another again is unspoken, instinctive. You know deep down, though, it’ll be different from here on out. You’ll have to be more careful, more guarded with the things you say and do.

You wonder if Iwaizumi has as much trouble sleeping that night as you do.

(He does. He doesn’t sleep at all.)

Things do get better, which is a blessed curse. The tension eventually resolves after a couple of weeks of tiptoeing around each other. Normality returns in full-swing and you’re able to talk to Hajime without the overwhelming feeling of guilt and need to explain everything; If he holds any issues about what happened that night, he doesn’t mention it, following your lead and letting the friendship return to normal.

The problem lies in the fact that Oikawa was ultimately right, and he makes a point to show that he’s right. That things did get better, and the fragmentation of your splintering relationship with the boy you love eventually gets patched up.

Life moves on.

The feelings don’t go away, but you get better at managing them. It’s significantly easier to push the pining down and not think too much about any passing romantic comments in school that pair you and Iwaizumi together; Nor do you think twice about the harmless flirting that occasionally comes your way. You dish it back, continuing the joking nature of the friendship and after a while, it doesn’t hurt so bad. You exit the stages of puberty and things don’t feel as hectic as they once were.

The turbulent waves of emotions finally die down to a steady roll, and for a while, you’re able to float. It’s safe, peaceful, exactly how you want it to stay.

That is until you’re seventeen, almost eighteen, and Iwaizumi asks you to be his fake girlfriend. The waves pick up steam and you’re drowning again. You have the girls of Aoba Johsai to thank for that.

This time though, you’re determined to protect yourself. The anxiety of it all starts to settle in between your shoulders and instead of falling victim to the whims of an unsuspecting Iwaizumi once again, the urge to protect yourself and your pathetic emotions takes precedence. You will not be reduced down to the unconfident, love-sick girl you once were; You’ve worked too hard to do that. You matter more than Iwaizumi’s stupid girl problem.

It’s why you don’t think twice when you blurt it out after agreeing to help.

“We need a contract.”

“A contract?” Hajime parrots back, broad arms crossed over his equally broad chest and the intense training you’ve instilled in yourself to not stare at him meets its limitations, lest you stoop down to the level of the girls he’s so desperate to evade. He’s grown so much, physically and personally, that it's hard to not look at him. You force yourself to glance around the crowded cafe, look anywhere but his veiny arms, and instead replace your view with the small restaurant you two frequent every Monday— the only day he has off from volleyball practice.

It’s a small establishment that sells teas and noodles, a pleasant find to make one day when the both of you were hungry pre-teens and full of time on your hands. It’s usually rather empty during this time as it’s just out of the line of sight to avoid the after-school rush of students, but today the line extends outside of the door, all attendees eager to have a taste of miso ramen and pushing against bodies to do so. The people behind you are respectful enough to give you as much space as one can afford in the cramped venue, but you end up still having to press yourself into the stiff body of the boy— no, man— beside you.

You have the decency to look at least a little uncomfortable in the tightness of the situation, but Hajime shows nothing. Whether it’s because he doesn’t even care that your chest is bracing against his arm or he’s too distracted with the complicatedness of his “girl” problem, his face betrays no embarrassment at the closeness. No frustration, no discomfort, not even annoyance. He merely exists, dealing with your body pressed against his as if this were a regular occurrence and not an awkward preemption to the farce that you’ve stupidly agreed to. This would surely haunt you for the rest of your years.

This man of steel, this monolith of lean, corded muscle, was going to be your “boyfriend” for the next couple of weeks. You would be lucky if this arrangement even lasted for that long considering the confession of pure unadulterated adoration is crawling up the canal of your throat and tearing the fabric of your skin, sticking a middle finger at the rational parts of your brain trying desperately to hold it back.

Your fate is signed, knowing full and well that in your inability to deny Hajime— especially when he’s so desperate, which is a rarity in and of itself— you’ve willingly agreed to have your dignity and confidence stripped from your person and your feelings thrown in a loop for the sake of his sanity.

It’s annoying. Every potential hypothetical plays itself in high definition across the theatre of your mind and each one ends with you being brutally rejected once again. There’s no way you could handle something like that again, no matter how much you’ve matured.

This is a bad idea, and you need to tell him that.

But then the sight of pleading jades enters your vision and you distinctly remember the permanent frown that etched itself on Hajime’s face these past three months. Remember how the feelings of deep discomfort forced him to confide in you on a late-night phone call when sleep evaded him and he detailed the dread he felt at the prospect of going to school the next school day.

If your mouth even opened a fraction to breathe, you’re sure the “I’m in love with you and have been since sixth grade” will come tumbling out, but even the fear of that happening doesn’t overpower the overwhelming desire to help the man you’re madly in love with.

There’s a limit to what would be forsaken in the name of Iwaizumi Hajime’s happiness, but your sanity isn’t it.

The situation worsens when the subtle shifting of the patrons behind you throws you off balance and forces you impossibly closer to him. The shuffling of feet knocks into your own, tilting you off balance despite your leaning against Hajime. A rebuttal is on the tip of your tongue ready to be released in rapid-fire when Hajime beats you to it.

He quickly wraps his arm around your waist, allowing your unsteady feet to find balance against his lean body of stone, clutching you tightly to his side as if the accidental push against you were a personal offense.

The protective nature that so often lies dormant in his personality rears its head forward and you swear your heart stops beating altogether.

“Easy,” he mutters, a layer of strict dismay interweaving in his words as he casts a pointed side glare at the two boys standing behind you. You hardly hear it, much too occupied with trying not to drown in the sudden flooding of his cologne in your nostrils.

Musk and spice. His usual scent, but even more addicting when it’s this close.

This is a bad idea. This is a horrible, bad, awful idea. Bad, bad, bad idea.

You have to end this. You won’t survive this.

“C-contract.” You, somehow, manage to spit out, shaking your head free from the waft of his scent and the strength of his arm across your back.

Okay, not necessarily ending this but protecting yourself. Yeah, that’s it. Because there is no way you want him to keep acting like this, no. You’re just doing this to help and totally not to selfishly indulge in the delight of being his, even if it is fake.

He tears his narrowed eyes away from the boys behind you to glance at you, the remnants of disapproval flickering in the sea of green that you swear only evens out when he looks at you, “Right. What’s in this contract?”

“The, uh, basics,” you begin, voice slowly finding its footing after the intense whiplash you just experienced. You're surprised you can even form words that aren’t resembling proclamations of desire, “What we can and can’t do, how long this is for, and so on.”

“That’s a good idea,” He breathes out. The line shifts forward, and the cashier finally enters the field of view. With a quick recoil, as though his skin were burned by the action, he removes his hand from around your waist. The warmth of his arm rescinds with it, and that thirteen-year-old girl that has fantasized for years about this, whines in desperation. You quickly tell her to shut up.

He clears his throat, awkwardness filling the cramped and stale air, “Uh, sorry. About that.”

He avoids your eyes and you quickly look around too, “It’s fine.”

A silence ensues. It’s not uncomfortable, per se, but it’s a far cry from the brief pauses in conversation that usually occur between the two of you. The comfortable silences that occur naturally between friends of five years. You wonder if you should address it, address the fact that if you two were to pull this off— and pull it off well— there were going to be more moments when he was going to have to touch you like that.

He was going to have to hold your hand and give you frequent hugs and actually act like he was in love with you. Act.

You swallow at the prospect. Not like that would be hard for you to do, you think rather pitifully.

There are two more couples in front of you when you say, “I’d like to institute the first provision.”

Hajime quirks an eyebrow, his lips lifting upward, an obvious sign of gratefulness at being able to brush over that weird moment of physicality. He doesn’t know why it was instinctual, or why he even thought that placing his hand that low around your waist would be a good idea. But, he did it; And it’s quite the revelation when he realizes he didn’t mind it.

At all.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” He glances at you to his right, the teasing smile gracing your features and the recognizable glint of mischief in your eyes.

“You have to buy all of the food we eat together.”

He scoffs out a laugh, shaking his head, “I already buy all of our food.”

“I always pay you back!”

“You owe me at least three-thousand yen.”

“Okay, an addendum to provision one.”

“Shoot.”

“You buy all of our food and forgive my debts.”

He laughs louder tilting his head back as his teeth peek from his pink lips. It’s the bark of laughter that swells your beating heart with confidence. You may not have him romantically, but there’s no denial of the fact that he likes you in his life, especially when you can make him laugh like that, “I’m starting to think this contract is only beneficial to you.”

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow at him, the body still tucked tightly beside his as feet shuffle forward in the line, “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m doing you a huge favor.”

“Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.” A silence befalls again, this one not as tense as before. A small smile plays on his lips and there’s a sincerity behind his gaze that reminds you of how appreciative he really is for this. Hajime isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to repay you for stepping in and helping him in the most intimate of ways that you most likely would rather not do. There wasn’t ever an expressed interest in the dating scene from you, always denying the occasional confession that came your way and never thinking twice about the romantic holidays that come and go.

He wonders why because if you tried, you’d have every guy within a ten-foot radius begging for your attention. Surely one of them would be worthy of your love. (He doesn’t agree though. There’s no one in this world who could ever be worthy of you. Not when you smile so brightly and tease so enticingly. No one would ever deserve that part of you. No one that he would ever approve of, anyway..) He’s not dumb in realizing that your willingness to engage in a romantic relationship with him— even if it is a fake one— is a large deviation from the norm. It’s not something to be taken lightly.

So, he owes you. Big time. Whatever you want, whatever you put in this contract, he’ll do. He’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.

(Fake boyfriend, he has to remind himself. He swallows down the disappointment.)

“Thank you.” he breaks the silence, rubbing the back of his heating neck, “Again. For doing this for me. I don’t—”

“Ah, ah!” You interrupt, holding your hand upwards and wagging a finger at him, “I haven’t done anything yet, so don’t start thanking me so soon. Who knows? I might sabotage this whole thing, be the worst girlfriend you could ever imagine.”

The couple in front of you finishes their order, stepping to the side to allow the both of you forward. You step up, dragging him with you but you don’t miss the low throaty chuckle he emits when he says, “You like me too much to do that.”

He pats the top of your head, smoothing the fly-away hairs with a wink and a sly smile, and then, like nothing even happened, he steps up to the counter, taking the initiative and placing your usual orders. There’s both too much nuance and not enough to his statement to determine if you should be scared at his words. Does he know? Did Oikawa tell him?

You don’t even notice when he puts both food items on one bill.

It’s then that you remember, with little humor like someone who’s forgotten a necessary step to an important project, that while you’ve done a lot of growing and building these past four years to fortify the walls of your heart, so has he. He’s stronger, more confident, more sturdy.

Fourteen-year-old you built the walls for a fourteen-year-old Iwaizume Hajime. She didn’t even think to consider the damage eighteen-year-old Ace and Vice-Captain of the Seijoh Volleyball Team could do. Not with a spike those strong arms could make and a sea of green that you still drown in.

The first large crack in the barriers has been made.

He turns to face you upon finishing the order, stepping to the side and bracing his body against the far wall of the restaurant to allow the next customers to the counter. That damn sly smile is still on his face, and it’s then you realize that he has to know. He has to know what he’s doing, or at least know that it’s doing something to you.

“So,” he tucks his hands into the pockets of his uniform pants, biceps bulging at the action “tell me about this contract, sweet girlfriend of mine.”

end notes: god damn glad that’s over. what did yall think?? too much? not enough? lemme know! i love reading all of your tags and comments, it fills me with such happiness :))))

tag list: @bruh-kill-me @owlnymph @airybnb @yukiilu-personal @cathwritestragediesnotsins @berna-dette

#haikyuu iwazumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #my writing #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you

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lifeofkaze · 4 years ago

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An Art of Balance #3

A/N: My head start on chapters is (already) dwindling, but whatever… Here you go, Chapter 3, enjoy!

Warning: mild swearing

Word Count: ~ 2.400

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Chapter 3: Charlie

To Lizzie’s astonishment, her friends kept their teasing to a minimum for the following week. Aside from Penny’s occasional prying and some suggestive jokes from Tonks, they all left her mostly alone as everybody resettled into their routines.

Skye was perhaps the longest to hold a grudge against her. Every so often she would make a snarky remark about “fraternising”, “competition” and “priorities”. But even she let it go as soon as her initial motivation to study wore off, and she fell back on her habit of copying all of her assignments from Lizzie.

Still, to avoid stirring talk about her and Charlie any further, Lizzie kept a low profile, concentrating on the vast amount of work the professors had started dumping on them instead. She’d seen Orion and McNully struggle with keeping up with their studies last year; but experiencing O.W.L. preparations first-hand was something else altogether.

“Honestly, this term is getting on my nerves already.” Skye slumped next to her on the windowsill in front of the charms classroom, where they were waiting for class to start. “So much work, so little fun. Can’t wait for the season to start properly, I’m itching to be back on the pitch again.”

Lizzie closed the book she had been reading. “Me too. I think Orion wants to find our new beater before we get back into practise though. I wonder who he has in mind to get a try-out.”

“Experience a try-out, you mean!” She snickered. “I swear, this guy is one of a kind.” She leaned back against the wall. “Remember your try-outs, back in the day?”

“How could I forget?” Lizzie replied flatly. “You, McNully and Orion were giving me nightmares.”

“But you made it in the end. With my help of course.” Skye eyed Lizzie’s bag that was resting on the floor beneath her feet. Sweeping down, she grabbed it and started rummaging through it.

“Speaking of help, my charms homework isn’t finished. Let me see what you’ve got.” She held the scroll up triumphantly before starting to copy its content down onto her own parchment.

“I am ever so glad to let you copy my work, do help yourself,” Lizzie remarked sardonically and picked up her book again. She had stopped her futile protests about two years ago.

They sat in silence for some time. Lizzie continued reading up on the counter jinxes they were covering at the moment, drowning out the noises of Skye’s writing and the chatter of her arriving classmates.

Suddenly, Skye shoved the parchment back into her face. “This is not one of your best works, if I may say so. I’d better go and ask Penny for help this time.” Skye got up and strode over to where Penny stood chatting to Rowan, leaving an open-mouthed Lizzie behind.

“All of a sudden my homework’s not good enough, or what?” she exclaimed in disbelief.

Skye just waved her hand in dismissal, already chatting to Penny, who flashed her a bright smile. Rowan left them standing, sitting down beside Lizzie, who had a bewildered look upon her face.

“What was that all about?”

“I have no idea. My homework doesn’t seem to be copy-worthy anymore. Apparently, Penny’s is, though.” Lizzie was still visibly confused.

“Just imagine, you are not the only one good at charms,” Rowan answered stiffly. “Other people can hold a wand as well.”

Lizzie raised her hands in defence. “Woah, easy there. That’s not what I was saying.”

Rowan shrugged. “It’s true though.”

Lizzie got up and stuffed her book back into her bag. “Whatever. You’re acting really strange lately, you know? If I have done anything to offend you, please enlighten me.”

Rowan pushed her glasses up her nose. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Lizzie snorted. “Right.”

When she saw general concern on her friend’s face, she felt her anger subsiding as quickly as it had arisen. “Listen, how about we talk this out over dinner. Just the two of us, like in the old times. What do you think?”

Rowan gave her a doubtful look. “The others will want to know why we’re ditching them.”

Lizzie shrugged. “So what? Can’t I have a meal alone with my best friend?”

A genuine smile broke on Rowan’s face at her words. “Alright, I’m looking forward to it.” Her gaze shifted to something behind Lizzie and she hurriedly got up. “Class is about to start, see you in a second.”

Wondering what had startled Rowan, Lizzie turned around. Charlie Weasley had dispatched himself from a group of Gryffindor’s and was making his way over to where she was standing. Lizzie cursed under her breath, hurriedly gathering up her things. She wanted to dart after Rowan, but Charlie was quicker than her. He caught her on her elbow, before she had a chance to walk away.

“Not so fast, sunshine.”

She cringed. Charlie had called her nicknames ever since she could remember. Given the raised eyebrows of Penny and Skye, she could make out over Charlie’s shoulder, the potential for misinterpretation clearly stood out to her all of a sudden.

Adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder she elbowed Charlie in his side.

“Stop calling me that.”

He eyed her curiously. It was unlike her not to come back at him with a witty remark but Lizzie wasn’t in the mood for banter. Despite her brusque reply, Charlie tilted his head and grinned at her.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been avoiding me this week.” He placed a hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture. “What did I do to deserve this rejection?”

Lizzie heard Tonks snickering and rolled her eyes at him. “Can’t blame me for wanting at least one week of peace and quiet before I let you get me into trouble again,” she shot back.

Charlie’s grin grew wider. “Ah, there’s my girl. Professor Kettleburn has asked me to help him prepare the Firecrab lessons for the third years tomorrow. Care to join me?”

She and Charlie had been helping with the preparations of the Care of Magical Creatures lessons ever since they had been able to partake in them. Having been good friends before, the work with the creatures had deepened their friendship considerably.

“Yeah, sure! But I need to be back for dinner on time.”

Their classmates had begun filing into the classroom, Charlie and Lizzie joining their ranks.

“Why, do you have a date or what?”

Lizzie searched for her friends until she saw Rowan waving and pointing to an empty seat next to her. She smiled.

“Something like that.”

She sensed Charlie’s curiosity. But instead of asking for further details, he just clapped her on the shoulder before he made off to sit with his own friends.

“Don’t worry, I’ll have you back on time, my lady.”

It was still blazing hot later in the afternoon, when Lizzie leaned on the railing of the wooden bridge connecting one of the castle’s side entrances to the grounds.

She had been waiting for Charlie for a while already, but she didn’t mind being to herself for a change.

Her gaze swept across the spectacular view she had of the castle grounds from up here. She squinted at the sun hanging low in the sky. Its light already had that slight golden hue to it that heralded the coming evening. If she breathed in deeply, she could almost smell the first hints of autumn in the air.

She idly toyed with the dragonhide gloves she had been carrying in her back pocket. Her mind returned to Rowan, as it had done ever so often over the course of the day.

Lizzie longed to find out what was bothering her friend. She was tired of the permanent tension between them, never really knowing what she had done to make the otherwise shy girl so touchy.

She rubbed her eyes. She missed Rowan terribly. Her other friends were dear to her as well, but the friendship with her was special. They used to work together in class, usually finishing their task before everyone else. Rowan always knew all the necessary theory, while Lizzie had a knack for the practical application.

Right now, most of the times she ended up working with Skye. As much as she valued Skye as a friend, she was a scholastic nightmare. She just could not be interested in what she was supposed to be doing if it didn’t involve Quidditch. She was either complaining about practise not having started or bitching about whatever Rath had done again to annoy her. She made finding the focus needed to perform advanced spells close to impossible.

Hurried footsteps approaching broke her out of her thoughts.

Charlie was running towards her, his face almost as red as his hair. No doubt he had been sprinting all the way down from Gryffindor Tower. He skittered to a halt next to her, hands on his thighs, gasping for breath.

Lizzie tapped her index finger onto her wrist. “Nice of you to join me eventually. What dragon has been keeping you?”

Still panting, Charlie managed to squeeze out a response. “Sorry – I – got – held up.” He took a deep breath and straightened himself.

“My brother Percy thought it appropriate to lecture me on ‘proper attire for handling dangerous creatures’.”

Much like Lizzie, Charlie was wearing only a shirt and some shorts.

“Apparently it’s dangerous to handle fire-shooting creatures without full-body protection,” he scoffed.

They had started walking down towards the creatures reserve.

“Actually, Percy is not wrong, you know.”

In their third year, when they had started to attend Care of Magical Creatures classes, they had made sure to be properly protected at all times. Professor Kettleburn provided ample example of what could happen if you took about handling magical creatures too carelessly.

But as they started helping him out on a regular basis, they had quickly established a routine of their own, which allowed them to dress a little bit more leisurely – as long as no younger students were watching.

Charlie grimaced. “I know he’s right, it’s just… He is always right. It hasn’t been a day since he arrived here, he hasn’t been lecturing me.”

He pitched his voice higher, imitating the condescending tone Percy Weasley had mastered at only eleven years old.

“No, Charlie, staying up past bed time is inappropriate. No, Charlie, you shouldn’t let them drink butterbeer in the common room. No, Charlie, you, as a prefect, should know this. Are you even listening, Charlie? I’m talking to you, Charlie. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.”

Lizzie couldn’t help herself. With every step away from the castle she could feel the tension bothering her gradually vanish.

A small giggle escaped her throat, quickly growing into genuine laughter.

She fought to contain herself. “Merlin’s beard, Charlie. I didn’t know you had such a talent for acting.”

He chuckled, bowing down low. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, puffskein.”

Lizzie giggled again, playfully shoving him. “Do you keep notes on these ridiculous nicknames of yours? And I know everything I need to know about you. Bill described vividly how you tried to turn your family rat into a dragon.” She pursed her lips. “Teeny tiny Charlie Weasley, dragonologist in the making.”

He shook his head indignantly. “Why, Elizabeth Jameson, that was science. I thought you’d have enough sense to understand that.”

They had reached the enclosure where the Firecrabs were being held. Gathering up their supplies, they set to feeding the creatures, chatting away over how they had spent the summer. Gradually, Lizzie felt herself relax more and more, losing herself in their work.

She watched Charlie stroke one of the younger Firecrabs under its chin. Suddenly feeling incredibly annoyed with herself, she walked over and knelt down beside him.

“You were right earlier, you know?” she said quietly. “I have actually been avoiding you, I’m sorry.”

He inclined his head. “I thought so. But why?”

For a split second, Lizzie contemplated telling him she had broken their agreement and told her friends about them kissing. He would probably be angry with her; Charlie didn’t appreciate being the centre of attention. She stood up. “Does it matter, really? It was stupid of me; I see that now.”

Charlie got up to his feet as well. “It does matter. If I have done anything to offend you, tell me straight to my face instead of running from me.”

Unbeknownst to him, he had almost echoed her words to Rowan earlier in the day. She could imagine how he felt.

She shuffled her feet uncomfortably. Formulating what had been bothering her made it sound even pettier.

“You know how everyone is always talking about us? Like they can’t grasp the fact a girl and a boy can just be really good friends? I’m so sick of it. Every time I talk to you or we’re down here, I have to answer questions from my friends. It’s just so…” she struggled for words, “…frustrating.”

Charlie looked at her in disbelief. “And that’s why you didn’t even want to talk to me?”

Lizzie bit her lip. “I told you, it was stupid.”

He shook his head. “You’re damn right about that.”

All of a sudden, he winked at her and gave her a lopsided grin. “Besides, would dating me be such a horrible thing?”

Lizzie could only blink at him wide-eyed, utterly at a loss for what to say.

Charlie burst out laughing. “You should see your face right now!”

When she didn’t join his laughter, he laid his hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I was joking, alright? Relax. Just a nice little joke to brighten up your day.”

Lizzie let out the breath she hadn’t notice she’d been holding. “Very funny, I can’t contain myself.” She glared, poking him into his chest with her finger. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“No promises on that. But if it comforts you, I’d much prefer dating you if you learned how to breathe fire.”

She shook her head and walked past him out of the paddock, Charlie following close behind.

“Hey, Liz?”

She turned around. He was still inside the enclosure, resting his forearms on the gate that had swung shut behind her.

“Don’t listen to what everyone else is saying, alright?” His voice was earnest. “Screw what they are thinking. We are friends, you and I, don’t let anyone take this away from you.”

Walking back to where he was standing, Lizzie gave him a warm smile. The next instance, she was kicking the gate that supported his weight with her foot.

Laughing at the expression on his face as he struggled to keep standing, she finally felt completely at ease.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

#harry potter #hogwarts mystery #hphm #orion amari #orion amari x mc #orion x mc #lizzie jameson #art of balance #skye parkin #penny haywood #rowan khanna #charlie weasley #quidditch squad #the quidditch squad

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elle-christine · 5 years ago

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Lovey Dovey Questions:

Reverting to my happy little Tumblr days; blogging away with my 16 year-old wistful intentions but now I’m married and all kinds of in lurrrrv. How did you meet?  My roommate and I got invited to a Young Adults Potluck/game night at our Church. We only knew one person there, but before we got there my roommate kept telling me “you’re about to meet your husband. I can’t believe we’re going to go to this tonight and you’re going to meet your husband.” But the majority of the night we sat in the corner with our one friend a bunch of girls and were planning on leaving to go to get food. I thought “I’m not meeting my husband here...”. But then we played a group game and I noticed him from across the room, and he noticed me. And the rest is history. How did he ask you to be his?   We met up at the union on campus to talk, we had just told each other the night before that we had feelings for one another. We walked to the parking garage together and he kept making comments about “us”. So I asked him in the garage--what exactly is “us”. And then we made a logical and rational decision to date. Your first memory with them: Going to a restaurant after the game night, thinking he was cute but so serious and probably too cool for me. And thinking that he would make a good husband to someone someday. Why is your relationship different from others you have had? I was ready, he was ready. We had both taken a few years off from dating to determine what we should be looking for in a partner and to grow as humans on our own. We have a strong dedication to communication and intentionality. Ten things you like about them.  1. His passionate pursuit of Jesus. 2. His intentional pursuit of our marriage. 3. His ability to be goofy, relaxed, and silly with me but be mature, serious, and polished in public. 4. He’s a great listener and a strong conversationalist. 5. His depth and intelligence. 6. His love of black coffee, the sun and water, minimalism, sustainability. 7. His gentleness and emotional availability. 8. His tender heart and natural kindness. 9. His respect for me. 10. His ability to lead well. How often do you see each other?  In the morning when we wake up and at night before we go to bed. No matter how crazy and busy our lives get, getting to do that is such a blessing.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? on someone who can’t ghost me; 10/10 recommend. 2: Have you ever been deeply in love? currently a deeply in love lady. 3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? 23 months tomorrow. 4: Have you ever changed for someone? Ironically, I changed more for the ones I didn’t actually date; tried to change to get them and clearly it didn’t work. 0/10 not recommended. 5: How is your relationship with your ex? One is friendly and two are non-existent. 6: Have you ever been cheated on? I don’t have proof but I believe there was a little somethin somethin going down behind my back. 7: Have you ever cheated? No. 8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? no longer an option, but I think I would really struggle with that. 9: What’s the most important parts of a relationship? An ability to communicate, to be partners and to balance one another out, to complement each others strengths and weaknesses. 10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I like being married. 11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? Nahhhhhhhh 13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? Being in relationships before I was confident/comfortable with who I was, and having relationships that were not Christ-centered and wondering why they weren’t working. 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? I think the fact that this says “kids” is clear that the answer is never. 15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? In some sense, yes. But cultural/generational things will play an impact. 16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? No; I think love is a choice and something to work at. 17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? In some situations, sure; however again I think it takes communication and work. 18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Not knowing and following the Lord. Unequally yoked is a thing. 19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? If there are clear signs that a future is not going to happen, it’s likely that it will be more painful later on. 20: Are you currently in a relationship? Indeed. 21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? Honestly, no. I think you can remain cordial and friendly, but I don’t think it’s healthy or fair to continue a close friendship. 22: Do you think people should date their friends? Yes; I think friendship can have a solid foundation for a strong relationship. 23: How many relationships have you had? truthfully one that matters. 24: Do you think love can last forever? yes 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? love and the Lord. 26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? It would depend on the basis for disapproval. If there were genuine concern for safety, red flags I wasn’t seeing, if I was in danger, than yes. Thankfully, my mom more than approves of Alex. 27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? Wait wait wait; be patient and focus more on yourself, guard your heart more. 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? They can, but they take a LOT of intentionality and work; and need to have a resolution in sight. 29: What do you notice first about another person? Probably height, and overall demeanor (calm, loud, etc.) 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? straight. 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? no, but I am thankful that he doesn’t because I do, and I appreciate the balance. 32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? in some sense. 33: Do you want to get married one day? I am! 34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? That’s a no from me dawg. 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? I’m thankful that I’m not, but till death do us part and if sex was no longer an option for us--we would be just fine. 36: Are you still a virgin? I am a married lady. 37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? looks will not last forever. Personality and a desire to be a good steward of your body. 38: Do you enjoy love films? I’m not a big movie person tbh 39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? Alex occasionally surprises me with them which is rad. 40: Have you ever had a valentine? Only one that counts! 41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? Going to the beach, eating sushi, watching the sunset (or rise; but switch the sushi for coffee), worship music and reading together. 43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? Husband is first. 44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? I like ironic romance; cute gestures that purposely meant to be cheesy. 45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? I am married to my favorite friend. 46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? honestly...no. 48: What’s your favorite love song? oh gosh, want me to make a whole damn list About Him.

Name? Alex Age? 31 When did you two begin dating? March 2018

What do you think of him? He’s okay...I guess. What does he think of you? Probably that I’m weird and kind of smell. Who asked who out first? I believe he did after some strong hinting from me. Did you like him before he asked you? I was intrigued but also guarded. How old were you two? 25 and 29 What did you think of it at first? After about 5 minutes I was concerned he was “like, actually weird”. But by the end of the night I felt like I had just met a future best friend. Has it been a good relationship so far? Indeed. Cutest thing he’s ever done? Goodness; surprising me with the cheesiest gift set-up when I woke up on Valentines Day morning. Bringing me a rose with the medicine he picked up for me when I was sick. Making me a handmade birthday card. Setting up a table with our pictures and couples Christmas gifts for when I came back from the holidays. Do you have a “song”? “God Be” By Chris Renzema What was your most memorable experience? Getting married. And all that went into that decision, proces, etc. When is your actual anniversary? Well...3/24/18, but also 7/14/19, and 11/12/19, and maybe 8/8/2020. Do you guys tell each other everything? every.thing. Probably too much. Marriage. What’s your favorite thing to do together? read and pray. drink coffee. go for hikes/walks. Find tiny cabins in the middle of nowhere and hole up for a weekend doing married people things. Most fun date you two have been on? This past valentines we ate too much sushi and had a movie night with wine and donuts. Last summer we went to a leadership conference, the zoo, walked around Royal Oak, and got dinner with my family. Or our mini-honeymoon; the beach, staying at a B&B, sushi for dinner, wine and exchanging vows alone. How did ya’ll first kiss? We had planned on not kissing for a month but we were eating hummus and watching Miracle and decided to make it happen. What does he call you? We’re pretty exclusively on “babe” Has anyone ever seriously proposed to you? And it worked.

#personal #me #love #relationship

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rainbows-fanfics · 6 years ago

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Two Dearest Friends (Chapter 11)

Summary:

Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, meets Sally, a ragdoll created by Dr. Finklestein. A friendship blossoms between them as he introduces her to the world outside of her tower. Sally is falling for him as their relationship grows into something more, and Jack finds the same is happening to him.

A story where the Christmas incident never happens, and Jack and Sally find their happiness on their own.

Pairings: Jack Skellington/Sally

Their eyes meet for a split second before the smaller figure rushes to hide behind a building. But Jack's already seen her, and he rounds the corner quickly to catch up with her. He finds the ragdoll leaning against the wall, playing with her hair and jumping in surprise once she sees him standing in front of her. He finds this charming - surely she had seen him as well? "Hello there," He greets, his tone naturally warm. "Hi..." She attempts to be interested in the dead tree beside her, and for a moment, he feels like he's being ignored. But when he sees her hands climb up to her hair and curl the yarn strands within her finger, he realizes he's mistaken. He mentally dwells over what to say to Sally. His mind has been so jumbled with Halloween planning that he almost forgot how to greet a friend. He scolds himself for being so busy and doesn't notice the curious look in her black eyes as she observes him. "I was going to the Graveyard, just now." He tugs at his collar. "Would you like to join me?" He feels something harden in his bones as she grimaces, but notices she's not looking in his direction. Before he can turn his skull and see what she's looking at, she jumps to her feet and starts nodding enthusiastically, even starting to walk down the path before he does. He follows after her and offers an apologetic smile, rubbing the back of his skull as they enter the Outskirts. --------------------------- On their way to the Graveyard, he feels an ache in his spine. He attempts to crack it but comes to no avail. He stretches uncomfortably until he hears a pop and sighs in relief. That's when he finds her stare on him and realizes she's been watching the whole time. He grins in embarrassment as he returns to his previous position, holding his arms behind his back in a more dignified manner. As her eyes travel over his thin frame, Sally notices something. His limbs move freely and quickly, and he always appears so balanced. Like the complete opposite of her. Just watching him stretch intrigues her. He positioned his body in a way she hadn't thought possible. It was then she takes a good look at his thin frame and chest, her cheeks growing hotter the longer she stares. And when his gaze finds hers again, she can't find the courage to tear her eyes away. "You are really flexible," She comments, letting a breath out slowly. "Oh! Well, yes, I've been told that before." His slides his palm on the side of his skull. "Someone once told me I reminded them of a spider." "A spider?" He notices her fascination and nods slightly. "Well, it's probably because I can move like this." For demonstration, he ducks forward and rests his palms against the ground, moving the rest of his body in a second until it sinks down, then moves his knees so they make contact on the floor. Then he sprawls himself on the ground for a moment, a stance mimicking a spider, before he flips forward and brings himself back to his feet. When he looks at her, he finds her with amazed eyes and a mesmerized smile. It fuels his confidence with himself. When she notices he's looking at her, she clears her throat. "That was..." Her hand hovers in the air for a moment. "Just like a spider!" He chuckles. "I'm glad you think so, Sally. It's one of the things that makes me a showman." They arrive at the Graveyard's gates before anything more can be exchanged. He holds it open and motions for her to come in first. She shyly takes a step forward, passing him a smile, before arriving inside. He shuts the gates behind him and inhales deeply, already getting comfortable in its peaceful aura.

"The fog is wonderfully thick this time of year, don't you think?" She looks around and sniffs for herself, smelling the bits of bones Finklestein has stashed in his laboratory. Then she looks at the fog and notices just how thick it is. She can barely make out all the graves and pumpkins from this angle. "Why, yes, it is." He brushes past her and begins walking in a direction. She stumbles to follow him, obviously not wanting to lose him so quickly. She notices he's taking her to the spiral hill and slows down as he climbs it. When they're at the top, he taps the empty spot beside him. She flattens her dress and sits down like she has done before, the two of them sitting and absorbing their surroundings silently. The weather around them is cold, but every part of her feels hot. She drugged the Doctor earlier, out of fear more than anything. She still has no idea how she managed to bump into Jack, but she's glad she did. And she was surprised when he invited her to come with him. He looked so tired when he passed her; she thought he wouldn't notice they made contact at all! She unconsciously scoots closer to him and lets out a shaky sigh. Could she...tell him how she feels? No, no, that would be too sudden! But would he even feel the same way about her?... "This is exactly what I needed," His voice snaps her back into reality. "Some peace and quiet." She releases the breath she has been holding, relieved he finally said something. "Yes, I really needed it, too..." Thoughts of the Doctor begin to cloud her mind. She thinks of the encumbering demands that made her fear for her life. That if she messed up on anything, he would tamper with her brain. Or if she had said the wrong thing, he would threaten her with it again. She became the slave he has wanted for a few days, and already could she feel the life draining out of her, as if everything was pointless. She freed herself just to feel some meaning again, and only because she incidentally found the Deadly Nightshade in the Doctor's room. Jack looks over at her with a worried expression. "-I wasn't actually expecting you to agree with me. Is something the matter?" She goes quiet, wondering whether she should tell him. He's already done so much for her...asking anymore would just be selfish at this point. But he encourages her honesty and even promised she could come to him if anything was wrong. Yet, if Finklestein knew she blabbed again, he may as well go through with his promises. And that was the last thing she wanted. She doesn't know what to say and decides to let her imagined heart speak for her. "Things have been frightful at home. And...not the good type of fright. I needed to leave again. The Doctor says the more I see you, the more I'll be bothering you..." His mouth forms into an 'O', but no words escape. He registers her words several times, making vague gestures with his bony hands as he grasps for words. He eventually pulls himself together and spits out his reply. "--Well, first of all, you aren't bothersome to me at all. Your company is very...congenial, if I'd say so myself." She doesn't understand the word he used, but she's relieved to hear his response. For a moment, she actually had believed she was bothering him. She really shouldn't be seeing him so often as it is, but she can't help it. He...enjoys it. And she does, too. Her leaves flutter immensely. "Don't tell me he's been...doing those things to you again?" She bows her head guiltily. She knows he'll figure it out one way or the other. "Well...let's just say I've been realizing that the Doctor may be wrong about a few things..." He sits back exasperatedly. "-So he has." "Please, don't say anything at my convenience...he's been getting better about it; I can tell he's trying...he wouldn't want to upset his King-" "You shouldn't feel obligated to lie for him. Why would I find you out here if everything was perfectly fine at home?" She goes silent. She feels defeated for even trying to defend him at all. She was just trying to prevent the worst from happening. Apparently, her worry shows on her features, as the skeleton softens when he looks at her and nods slightly. She smiles, in relief that he understands, and comes forward to hug him again. But when they're close enough and she sees the surprised look on his skull, she retreats back to her spot and bites her lip nervously. "I was...I was, um, wondering if I could ask you some more things again?" She asks, desperately wanting to change topic. "They aren't about Halloween...they're more about you." He knows everything about her at this point, so she should get to know more about him in return. He isn't bothered by this, as the stitched smile returns to his skull and he leans more towards her. "That's fine. Go right ahead." She looks at him in surprise. Is he really okay with personal questions? The Doctor lectured her not to be too straightforward with people, or be so improper around her King. His welcoming nod of the skull only beckons her to ask the questions. She smiles and wonders what to ask first. "Well, what do you like to do? Besides your 'kingly' business..." He sits up attentively, apparently liking this question. "I'm sure you know how I like to read...I also like to do some math, and occasionally I'll run some experiments in my free time." He notices the lost look on her face. "-It's like what the Doctor does, except I do it for fun." She looks very impressed. "I hadn't thought of you liking stuff like that." "Then I guess you learned something new about me." He tilts his skull. "-I'm going to go ahead and assume you like to sew in your free time?" "Well, yes. And I like to cook...I've found a new recipe book I've been using to make the Doctor's meals lately." "Have you, now?" She nods excitedly. "I like cooking, too. But I don't do it as much as you." She notices he is less hesitant now than he was before with these questions. He is still waiting patiently for more. She brushes her hair back and thinks of what else to ask him. She has plenty, but she's scared in case she accidentally landed in unwanted territory... "I suppose I should also ask you about...well, the type of things you like?" She fumbles with her words. "I know you like Halloween-" His look changes. "-Well, you love Halloween, but...I don't know what else you really like." He thinks about it a little. "I guess my best answer would be art. I like to sing, as you know, but I also enjoy dancing and doing crafts. They're all fine hobbies." Her eyes flutter, suddenly remembering the things those Hanging Men said. Everything Jack could do and how talented he is...Then she remembers the monsters he sat with at that table, and she can't stop her thoughts from wandering. "I-I saw you in town, not too long ago. With these people that surrounded you at a table." She explains timidly. "You seemed close with them and they knew a lot about you. I was just wondering if they were your friends?" "I'm friends with everyone, Sally." "Oh." Her face flushes red. That makes a lot of sense. Why he keeps getting stopped in town and why everyone talks to him so...casually. "I've made some friends, too...Just that day I was with the Hanging Tree, and the Band has talked to me a lot." "You mean James, John, and Jimmy? I'm well acquainted with them myself. They're very talented fellows, those three." Sally beams. He is friends with them, too? That must mean that they know a lot about Jack! She'll have to ask them once she sees them again. She tried her best to channel the excitement rising in her leaves; the same feeling the Doctor has warned her about for so long. It is all just so incredible - here she is sitting with The Pumpkin King and getting to know him! She's always wanted to talk with him more, and this day is turning in her favor thus far. The skeleton adjusts himself and doesn't bother sitting up properly, leaning over so he can admire her face. She looks much more attentive and happier than usual. He finds the look more appealing on her. Not that he doesn't like her shy nature, but it's nice to see her comfortable for once. "It's certainly new of you to start asking questions like these," He comments. "Has something brought this up?" She shakes her head, feeling somewhat shy again. "...I just wanted to get to know you more. Because friends know a lot about each other, right?" "Yes, that's right." He slowly nods his skull. "I don't mind it at all. It's actually been awhile since someone has talked to me like this. People are usually interested in what I have planned for Halloween rather than anything else I'm up to." She scrunches her nose in thought. "That's silly. I'd like to know more about my King if I were them." "You are! And you keep happening to find me right when I come here. I think it's safe to say you have my full, undivided attention." He looks down at her and waits for her to ask him another question. She realizes this and ponders on what else to say. What to ask now? She wants to know everything about him, but that can't be done in one session. She'd have to take this one step at a time. "You said you manage everything about Halloween," She brings up. "What does that mean?" Ah, the boring stuff. He thinks, but answers regardless, "I organize and approve everything that has to do with Halloween. There's a lot of other things, too, but I'd spend too long talking about it." "What does the Mayor do?" The skeleton makes a noise, sounding like he suppressed a laugh. He clears his throat and gives an apologetic smile after. "Well, he does the first steps of everything for me, I suppose? He's mostly there to accept matters from the citizens directly when I can't." She can't stop herself from giggling. "He doesn't do much, does he?" Jack gives a relieved sigh. "Between you and me, he doesn't. He stresses a bit too much over nothing, sometimes." "I can tell," She thinks about his visit to the Doctor's. "He is a really nice man, though." "He's a close friend. Very good at heart," The Pumpkin King agrees. "A lot of the people here are. I hope Finklestein's didn't give you the wrong idea?" She shakes her head. "After meeting my friends here, Jack, I know that they're kind. Just like you." She feels a blush on her cheeks once more, but she means every word. His kindness has shown her a part of her world she has never seen...He helped her find Halloween Town past that dreadful Tower. She owes him everything for showing her the outside, and it's about time he very well knew it. He shuts his mouth to allow his stitched smile to grow to both ends of his skull. He feels differently about her compliments now. As if he accepts them before his mind can comprehend it. He isn't fully composed and he knows it, so he changes the subject. "I'm glad you were able to participate with the town. I'm sorry I didn't see you then." "I watched you with the children. They all looked so happy to see you. It only makes sense that they'd love a King as great as you." Jack grins, suddenly waving a hand in her direction. "-Ah, Sally, I - thank you. I try my best, especially at this time of year. Sometimes I get so swept up in work I get disconnected from everyone." She frowns, suddenly remembering how busy he will be. Will this be her last talk with him for awhile? She doesn't like the sound of that. She wants to be with him more...especially after everything that's happened. It hurts her just thinking of how long they'll be separated again. The Pumpkin King notices her change in demeanor and waves a hand to catch her attention again. "It's nothing to worry about, really. I'm fine. And the citizens get by perfectly well without me. I just enjoy being close with them, is all." She gives a forced smile, still feeling gloom from her thoughts. "Yes, that does sound good." He frowns and stares at her for a few moments. It pains him that the happiness is taken from her. And that was his fault, wasn't it? Oh, dear. He shouldn't have mentioned that at all. He finds her fidgeting with her hands in her lap and mentally decides he will get this girl to smile again. "Can I ask a question about you?" He asks. She looks up in disbelief. Was he really interested in knowing about her? "If you'd like, then of course..." "What do you like most about Halloween Town? From what you've seen and the people you've met, of course." She thinks about it. This place is wonderful, and there is nothing that bad about it. The people are friendly, the decorations are impressive, and they have such unique shops and foods. Though, something stands out from all of them. One particular person whom she loves that comes from such an amazing Town...who, undeniably, is her favorite thing among everything. Her eyes go half lidded as her heart speaks her words. "You..." She realizes what she is saying and her eyes snap open. Her phantom heart pounds in her ears as she goes to correct what she has said. "-r ruling!" She finishes. "The way you run the town is truly....admirable, Jack. Especially with all the work you have to do." She prays to a Halloween God that he can't see the blush growing rapidly on her clothed cheeks. She holds up a hand to her face to try and hide it. He looks very surprised still, and she knows she already blew her cover. But then he does something she doesn't expect - he relaxes his posture and scoots closer to her, to the point where there are only a few inches between them. "Thank you. I'm glad you found something to enjoy here. Halloween Town is very unique, and so are you, Sally. I have a feeling you'll fit in quite well here." Hope surfaces again in her chest. "You think so?" "Of course." She looks away from him and rubs the side of her arm. She is too flattered to think of words to say. The two of them have been complimenting each other left and right. She had only meant this to be a session to know more about him, yet now what she's learned that he wants her here. And he knows she'll fit in. "I should be paying the Doctor a visit sometime soon, don't you think?" She perks up at his question, sitting up attentively. "What for?" "To make sure he doesn't get any ideas with you. Ensure everything is alright there, and all. I have some others matters with him, anyway." He pauses and adds, "-If I remember right, you once asked me if you'd ever see me there again." He rests his hand on his lap and, for a moment, their arms brush against one another. "-Well, now you will." She can't begin to describe the exhilaration she's experiencing. She has to hold back tears of joy as she tells him, "I'll look forward to your visit, Jack..." The thin man looks over at her curiously, finding she's no longer making eye contact. But he can tell just by the sound of her voice that she's relieved. His next trip to the Doctor's might be a little different, but at least he knows someone will be glad of his company. After awhile, he nods. "I think I will, too." Their voices eventually fade into silence. They continue to sit there, bathing in the comfortable yet cold atmosphere. It's clear, on a physical note, that they no longer mind each other's company. As for Sally, she relishes it. And as for Jack, this is the first time in years he's felt so relaxed in such a stressful time. He has only his new friend to thank for that. He looks over and finds her staring at him. She doesn't look away this time, and neither does he. Then, they both smile. She finds peace and consolation in his; he finds something refreshing and new in hers.

#two dearest friends #jack and sally #the nightmare before christmas #fanfiction #disney #jack x sally #jack skellington #tnbc

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theinquisitivej · 6 years ago

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SteamHeart Episode 14 Reactions

Chapter Fourteen: Forgotten Places

You can listen to the full episode here.

We return to SteamHeart, which has now begun its journey proper. Even after four days of travel, James does not think he’s learned all there is to learn about this machine home he’s so fascinated with. His description of the mechanisms, the huge wheels, the experience of looking out the port holes when they go off-road and seeing the rolling landscape and skies of the countryside is enjoyably immersive. The interior of SteamHeart sounds like a home, being large enough to move around a lot, and has little pockets here and there where different members of the crew have taken to situating themselves, much like the different rooms you would find crew members in in the Normandy in the Mass Effect series. Abigail and Annie are often together in the mid-section, enjoying the chance to further develop their friendship which shows just how far they’ve come since their first days together when Abigail questioned Annie’s orders. Still, while I’m sure that Annie is genuinely enjoying the chance to rekindle her friendship with Abigail, she’s also likely staying close to her because of Arlington’s orders. The charge she has been given is a heavy weight on Annie’s shoulders, and I suspect she wants to make sure she gives everything she can to make sure she never has to kill Abigail, and if developing a sincere friendship and a deep level of trust can help her achieve that, I’m sure Annie will want to try her best to make that happen.

The co-pilot seat is in regular rotation between Jeremy, Butler, and James, as it provides an excellent view of the land. Of course, Frank wants to be there to learn how to drive SteamHeart so he can occasionally relieve Harry of driving duty and give her a chance to rest. But Jeremy and James are both deeply inquisitive souls, so they would naturally be drawn to the place with the best view of unknown territory. I hope we get to see a conversation between the two of them at some point, as the dynamic would be fun to watch. Raven sticks to the rear carriage where he can write in a warm environment. Of the crew, he appears to be the least integrated into the group. I’m curious to see how this will develop. At night, the benches and seating can be modified into beds and hammocks, and, at first, the idea of sleeping in SteamHeart while listening to the natural night-time sounds of the landscape outside seems like a cosy and wonderful way to fall asleep. But then James points out that they’re always listening out for the call of a Wendigo, and you remember the treacherous dangers that they might still encounter here in the wilds. Another source of danger that James goes into is the people they encounter along the way. Some are merely curious, and the crew will wave at many of the people SteamHeart passes by in an effort to positively connect with the general public, one of the goals of their mission. But on two occasions, people have fired bullets at SteamHeart, and although they didn’t penetrate its armour and Butler & Annie were able to see them off without too much trouble or bloodshed on either end, it is nevertheless worrying. Hearing this feels like those random encounters you’d have in a roleplaying game on your way from one location to another – they break up the smoothness of the journey enough to emphasise that the world our characters inhabit is a dangerous place where just the act of traveling can be deadly if you’re not careful enough, but they’re not so calamitous or noteworthy that they prove to be much trouble to well-equipped and experienced adventurers. They make the journey a little more interesting, but they’re not significant enough that they’re worth spending a great amount of time on.

Abigail is less keen on life inside SteamHeart. Her journal entry was written eleven days after their departure, a week after James’ which was written four days after departure. The rumbling, the claustrophobia (interesting that James says it’s big enough inside to run while Abigail conversely finds it too tight and stifling; I love the Yin & Yang duality of these two), and the excessive amount of waiting is wearing on her. The necessary stops SteamHeart takes to refuel means they aren’t exactly barrelling towards the Wind Door, which is making Abigail and Annie, who wants to get this done and get it done fast, anxious. It is the safest method of travel, however, and even Abigail doesn’t deny that.

During their stops, they go out to scout and interact with the public, explaining their mission, handing out signed posters (Abigail’s idea, taking a leaf out of her own signed copy of The Cartographer’s Handbook), and doing everything they can to make a good impression. Sometimes, they’d spend the night in a town that was friendly to them and their cause, and Abigail would take the chance to sleep outdoors, away from the confines of SteamHeart. Of course, where Abigail goes Annie chooses to follow, not wanting to leave anything to chance. The stars make Abigail think of Lucy, and given her connection to the stars, I can see why. Also, interestingly, she thinks of Tabitha. Abigail got along very well with Tabitha for the short time they spent together, and I have to wonder if her interest in her is partly romantic. Anyway, we’re told that Abigail learned the same story about the Wolves and Annie’s past as we have heard over the course of SteamHeart, which catches the characters up to speed and also stresses their developing friendship, especially as Abigail reciprocated this by telling Annie about her past and the story we heard in Weirwood. The conversation eventually turns towards an aged, eccentric, yet perplexing storyteller named Old Ned, who Annie had met on the road in Arlington. The two of them agree that her description of the man matches Malloy, the old storyteller that they had encountered in Secret Rooms. This storyteller is one of the stranger unsolved mysteries of New Century, especially as he doesn’t seem to want anything other than to tell stories on the one or two occasions this character has showed up. Is that all he wants, or is there something more? I’m always down for enigmatic storyteller characters, so this mystery has its hooks in me.

Abigail tells us of the abandoned areas that were once inhabited by human life. The narration paints a picture of nature slowly and surely, but not maliciously, taking over and covering these environments in a strange balance between an abundance of natural life and a ghostly sense of humans who suddenly stopped living here one day, and never came back to spend the rest of the lives they would have spent here. In one such environment, Abigail considers the vast quietness, wondering if the world really is seeing the last few days of humanity before they leave forever, and the planet will stay peaceful, quiet, and empty. It’s a frightening thought, and yet also strangely comforting to me. It makes me think that if the worst happens, if we ran out of time on Earth, then at least a beautiful serenity would cover the world. Even if I’m not around to experience it, that doesn’t sound too bad.

We move on to a journal entry from Butler which details an excursion to the woods to hunt deer that he took with Abigail during one of SteamHeart’s frequent stops. He notices that Abigail is quieter and seems more contemplative than usual. He leaves her alone, however, as they continue to explore the woods. They come across a dead deer, and, upon close examination, Butler concludes that this was the work of a wolf. They resolve to find it and kill it, as Butler believes the wolf may have been infected with rabies, and given the dangers of a lethal infection that induces frantic behaviour spreading from animal to animal, he’s keen to stop this here and now. The parallel between a rabies-infected wolf and the Wendigos is not lost on the two of them. Abigail asks Butler if he really can’t leave it be and let the wolf die on its own, as no-one asked him to do this, and he knows this, but he simply answers that it’s there, whether he’s asked to deal with it or not. It’s simply not in Frank’s nature to leave things alone if something needs to be done about it. They set off again, this time on the lookout for wolves, and the music reflects the descent they’ve taken into this almost fairy-tale like ominous place; the dark woods where a savage wolf resides.

As they study their surroundings, Butler reflects on the self-destructive nature of a rabid wolf, how it neglects looking after itself and simply lashes out at anything it can find. He comments that the Wendigo would’ve died out years ago if it was more like that, which leads to Abigail making the remark that they would both still have families if that were the case. The comment hangs in the air, until she asks Butler if he still thinks about the family he lost. This jabs at Butler, and he does not hide his frustration that she would even ask something like that. Abigail doesn’t backpedal however, as her body language communicates that, even after she’s seen that this very personal question has upset Butler, she still wants to hear his answer. Butler answers truthfully that he misses them, but he has to deal with what is, and not spend his life wondering what could have been. Abby tells him that she means no disrespect, and yet she continues along the thread of questions she’s started, wanting to know if he ever feels bad that he had to lose his family in order to have the life he now shares with Annie. Her recent thoughts about humanity being in its last days have put her in a profoundly reflective mood, so it rings true that Abby would be in a place where she’s starting to ask deep, probing questions not only to herself, but to others as well. But this is putting Butler on edge, making his emotions bubble over as he begins to lose his focus and starts to feel multiple doubts about going into these woods, taking Abigail with him, and how he’s generally been handling his duties on this mission up to this point.

But before Butler can answer Abigail’s question, the wolf is on them, and they need to act fast. The two of them each land a shot on the creature, and, in the aftermath, Abigail apologises for being distracting and tells Butler she’ll back off. Butler thanks Abby for shooting when she did, as it most likely ended up saving his life. Butler is given a free pass to move on from their previous conversation, but when he realises that being lost in the past meant he didn’t sense the wolf approaching, he decides to confront the issue bothering him, helping him to re-centre himself and move forward. He admits to Abigail that he does feel some guilt, not only because he’ll always miss his lost family members and doesn’t want to feel like he’s left them behind, but also because he worries that him feeling this is betraying Annie in some way. He loves Annie so much that his life before he met her feels like a dream he woke up from. When Abby says she hopes she meets someone she can love as much as that “one day”, I have to wonder if her crooked smile is a bittersweet indication that she actually already has met someone like that, but she either doesn’t feel her love with as much certainty and intensity as Butler and Annie do, or she thinks that the people who could make her feel that way are lost to her now.

The two are joined by a group of strangers, and now the uneasy atmosphere of the woods gets even worse as the two sides cautiously exchange words with one another. The strangers were also hunting the wolf, which had been killing their sheep. When Butler tests whether him and Abby killing it for them has put them on good enough terms for their two groups to do some trading, one of the men makes it plain that they aren’t welcome here. Butler appeals to their leader, requesting that they be permitted to stay the night if they promise to keep to themselves. The leader grants them this at least for killing the wolf, but he specifically instructs Butler and Abigail to take them, the rest of their group, and SteamHeart and leave in the morning. SteamHeart is already making people nervous, and while they were able to make it away from this encounter, who knows who else Team Steam will meet in the dark woods along their journey, and how they’ll react to the presence of this strange machine.

In the epilogue, we’re informed that the group of strangers had families of their own which they returned to after this meeting, and that they kept their word and left SteamHeart alone. Nearby to where they lived, there is a graveyard. Not long before this encounter, the number of survivors in this settlement was equal to the number of graves. And now, “the living were in the minority”. Small populations of people like this are declining as they slowly die out – except, if this ratio changed in only a few days, it seems like it’s not happening so slowly, and is changing faster than anyone can control. Abigail’s concerns that we are seeing the last days of humanity is reflected in this epilogue.

#The Inquisitive J #review #reactions #critic #narrative analysis #narrative #fiction #audiobook #audio drama #fictional podcast #books #alternate universe #alternate history #alternate history fiction #new century #new century multiverse #the new century multiverse #steamheart #the inquisitive j reviews

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smartcookie727 · 7 years ago

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Tell us more about your ships and why do you ship those... both my hero academia and ft cus I'm looking for more ships to fill my life

Sure thing! Let’s start with FTcause bnha has soooo many characters and is a hodgepodge of ships.

Fairy Tail:

Gajevy -My true OTP. They are the halves that make each other whole. Both are greatcharacters on their own but together they make each other better. Levy isanalytical and shy with the intellect and work ethic beyond anyone else. Gajeelknows how to get the job done; he is fiercely protective and very in touch withhis emotions. He doesn’t care what others think of his attitude, and to him actionsmean more than words. Both could be classified as people who like to work aloneyet they both have small teams (Shadow gear and pantherlily / dragonslayers).Levy is the planning to Gajeel’s punch and Gajeel is the confidence behind Levy’swords. I love their dynamic so much. They have gone through pain, recovery,trust, friendship, and love. There is so much to explore with both of theircharacters and life in general. The flirty banter is strong with these two.They fall into the “world melts away” relationship. They sometimes don’trealize how obviously in love they are because neither is good at hidingemotions, and both are direct, passionate people with their feelings. Levy andGajeel push each other just enough to foster growth without crossing the lineof fighting all the time. In a word they are balanced. I can’t see them withothers because they make for the most supportive, balanced pair long term.

Nalu - Whata dynamic and friendship! These two have a great connection and trust in eachother. They are playful but caring with corny innuendos sprinkled in. They makesense. They have moved from friends to partners who have saved each othersasses enough times for them to think…why do I run headfirst into danger foryou. I find them interesting since they have a different dynamic than my otherdragonslayer/bookworm duo. There are threads of similarity but they have adifferent core bond. They are a couple that shows that love can grow andchange, relationships develop at different speeds and love doesn’t have to be asudden burst where you just know.

Jerza -Being a leader is a lonely job. These two are really interesting to me. Theyare the stoic captains that put everyone before themselves. Erza cares deeplyabout her guild and puts the weight of everyone’s happiness above her own. Shemade what she believes to be a selfish decision long ago that defined her andhas been trying to make up for it since. Jellal is similar. He made terriblechoices he is unwilling to forgive. Neither believes they deserve the love andaffection they desire. There is a constant inner turmoil is fun to play with.Head vs heart. I believe these two are each others’ home. No one understandsthe pressure they feel like the other can. When they can be together the wallscome down and both can enjoy the simple things they normally give up. Together,neither has to be the person people will turn to for help or guidance, they canjust be themselves. Let your hair down Erza, you deserve love andrelaxation.

Bixanna -Mischief making matchmakers! I love these two. They both are the cutewisecrackers of their respective groups. Bickslow has this gruff edge, keepcalm and kick ass side, and totally dorky jokes. He’s not afraid to get sillyand gives zero fucks. Lisanna is the total support he needs to be himself.Wanna be silly and go play pranks? Lis can keep up. Wanna go fight monsters?Lis can keep up and look cute doing it. Wanna chill on the couch and thinkabout how strong of a bond your team has? Lis does too. They work well in thesense of balance too. Lisanna tends to be the person that is quietly friendswith everyone but is close with a select few. Bickslow brings her out of hershell. She’s had a strange distance since returning to the guild and primarilyhangs with fam…I think that those years people thought she was dead made herreturn bittersweet. They tried to move on as best they could and she got leftbehind. When she gets back it’s hard to find her place. Her old dynamics havechanged…the bond is still there but things aren’t the same. Theirrelationship isn’t built in the past or defined by her return. They are peoplewho found each other unexpectedly…one of those relationships that suddenlyhappened when neither was looking for it. I think I’d categorize them ashope and future. Both have had dark times that may haunt them occasionally, butthey give each other a clean slate and zero judgment.

Merelow -My official crack babies. I was randomly thinking one day and this ship fellinto my lap! Bickslow: badass jokester. Meredy: badass bubblegum girl. Put emtogether and magic. These two are ready to try anything and everything. Theybring out the adventurous spontaneity in each other. Both have been on thewrong side of the fight and have moved forward. They have a core team thatmeans the world to them and are supremely loyal to each other. These two aresimilar to the bixanna dynamic with more of a wanderer side thrown in. They’vehad their breakdowns and have forgiven themselves and grown. They both give somuch love and cheer to their friends. I also love how compatible their magicis. Soul control and soul link. These two aren’t afraid to fight and cry andlove and sing. Neither tries to hide anything from the other. They are socomfortable together and they truly understand each other. They make everyeffort so that the other will smile, and I just love them.

Sildarts -OK. so. @gsut and @sanguine-fairy got me on this ship. Grumpy kickass dudes withgrumpy kids. They’ve been through many hardships in life and have loved andcried and have so much more life behind them than most of my other ships. They havea deeper connection by their love for their kids and their strain to have alife of their own. These two experienced individuals kinda trip over themselveslike teens as they explore a new side of themselves in this relationship. Noone knows how it’s supposed to go. Silver has many of the qualities I admire in Gray and kindareigns in Gildarts’ craziness. Gildarts gives him balance. He throws stoicSilver and all caution to the wind and make them both laugh and fill the piecesof their hearts that have been empty. Also these men know how to brood and beangry and glum…they have held in their emotions so much that both understandthe subtle cues when the other is upset…though it doesn’t always stop somepretty intense fights. They are passionate guys that hold each other up whenlife tries to punch them in the gut.

Lyredy - Two sweet, sensitive cuties. These two are harmony. Lyon is hella romantic and is always doing things both large and smallto show how much he cares for her. Meredy can see through the bravado he putson to the core person he is. She helps Lyon not to take himself too seriouslyand he always makes her laugh and smile. Meredy has insecurities about her pastand Lyon understands this himself. He will be as over the top as her can or asdown to earth as he needs to make her feel better. Both talk big about love butfind themselves remarkably shy when it actually happens. They are a mix ofadventure and shyness and pull each other along to find new things to love.They are a softer romance and I adore them.

Gruvia - Pushing through barriers these two truly stumbledinto romance. She could see his walls from the start and has felt the pain ofbuilding them herself, but Gray showed her such kindness that she truly felt achange. Gray and Juvia are elements that shape each other, pushing each otherto grow without necessarily trying. They became friends who feel a strong senseof responsibility to each other. Time turned friendship to love and I enjoy theway they play with the intensity of their romance. At times they are soft andsweet and others they are hot and heavy. She gives him a place to be candidwith his emotions and he reigns in her dramatic side. At their cores they carefor each other deeply and rely on their mutual support more than they realize.They will always drift back to each other, even when things tough.

Miraxus/Laxana/Canajane/Fraxus - idk why but I love them ALL. Miraxus is so cute andfun. They both have a calm and wild side. They are the heads of theirrespective groups and take things very seriously. When they’re together theycan let their hair down. Laxus sees through the smile she always wears down tothe fragile person she can be. Laxus is so stoic and Mira can always tell whathe’s thinking. They are more reserved as a couple and just enjoy each other’scompany. Laxana is fun and flirty. They rile each other up and don’t let thefun stop. They can laugh at anything and take great fun in jokes and quips witheach other. Always exploring and having an adventure with these two! Canajane.Talk about flirty cuteness and innuendos. They truly care about each other andCana is always pushing Mira to try new things. Mira keeps Cana grounded andwill always support and carry her. Fraxus. Mutual love and support. They aren’tfond of pda but the love can always be seen in their eyes. These two trulyhave each other’s back and always understand what each other needs.

Anyone else…I enjoy mymultishipping (aside from gajevy) so if there’s another couple that I canreally understand I’ll probably enjoy them: Chendy, LaLu, GrayLu, Alzack/Bisca,Stinerva, Minerza, Freed/Rufus, ships with Juvia, peeps from Mermaid Heel, etc.The only problem I have is if I can’t understand the relationshipdynamic…then things just fizzle in my mind.

Hahahaha now onto BNHA! OK I’mkinda tired from FT so I’ll keep these explanations less elaborate

BNHA:

Todomomo - insecure strong kids that lift each other up andbelieve in each other. Momo is such an interesting character and I love her.

Kacchako - fight like a girl. He respects her and she respectshim. They push each other to be better and I just love a cinnamon roll with agrumpy boy

Iihatsu - who better for a machine inventing girl than the guywith the engine built right in? she’s not afraid of anything and helps iida letloose. He’s always there to try her new inventions and she always makes himsmile.

Fuyusei, Bakumomo, Bakushima - love them all and they totally make sense

KiriMina, Jiro/Kaminari - such cute kids

Momo/Iida, Ochako/Iida,Ochako/Deku, Hakagure/Ojiro - cute potential and they have moments that make me smile

#cookie answers #anon #gajevy #nalu #jerza #bixanna #merelow #sildarts #lyredy #gruvia #ahhhh so many ships #there's probably more tbh #but here yall go #my lovely ships #for real todomomo kaccako and iihatsu tho

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geekmedium · 4 years ago

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Amazing Spider-Man #243 is never gonna be in anyone’s top 10 issues/stories. It won’t even be in anyone’s top 50. Even if you do a best Roger Stern’s Spider-Man list, this won’t come close to the top. But this is without a doubt my favorite Spider-Man issue of all time.

Not that I think it’s the most action packed, or most emotional, or even all that impressive on an objective level. It’s essentially a day in the life of Spider-Man issue, without any big villains or fights, and a twist at the end I’ll get too. But in this story was everything I love about the webslinger as well as a personal connection I wasn’t expecting.

We start it off with Peter dealing with relationship troubles as Mary Jane re-enters his life at the wrong moment. As always, Peter tries his best, and even helps out a rival get his relationship sorted out. But as a result of his kindness, his own relationships become more complicated.

Amy completely disappears from the narrative after this, as far as I remember, but MJ is here to stay and keep Peter on his toes. In an interview with Roger Stern, he said he never wanted Peter and MJ to hook up, and just saw her as someone to come in and occasionally pull the rug out from under Peter. While I’m glad that didn’t come to pass, I think I can sort of see where he was going with that.

Mary Jane could provide a constant feeling of things being off balance or messy. She shows up in just one scene and she already makes a fairy complicated situation spiral out of control. And their history together combined with a genuine friendship would have been a case of having your cake and eating it too; Stern could keep Peter a free bachelor while also giving him someone who, depending on the story, either be a trusted friend he could confess too, or someone that shakes things up for drama. Again, I prefer Spider-Marriage, but I could see the appeal of this dynamic.

So with Peter’s personal life on the downturn he decides, like usual, to blow off steam by web-slinging. First making a quick stop to get help with a minor villain problem from last issue (that goes nowhere) from Curt Connors. While there, Spidey’s professor comes in and he is able to sneak a peak at his grades because he’s been having academic trouble, and is surprised to find that he passed the exam with an A. Elated, he bounces around the city in dynamic panels I wish we saw more of in his comics.

I’ll talk about this more down below, but I think so many people get obsessed with a miserable Peter, the plaything of misfortune, that they forget he gets win, on a fairly consistent basis. Of course sometimes people over-correct and make him a clown, but again I’ll talk about that later.

Anyway all good things must end, and he ends up going to stop a somewhat mundane crime (it was a terrorist attack on the church). With little effort, he saves the day, and even gets thanked for his help, which is a welcome change of pace from the constant slander. Again, small victories. He develops picks for the Bugle, and with prospective money in hand, he visits Black Cat and contemplates his future both with her, and his general financial future.

Other people have commented on this better than me, but Spidey’s sense of responsibility and duty doesn’t just come down to fighting villains. He feels responsible for those closes to him, and the next few panels where he debates his options are a nice encapsulation of that. John Romita Jr. has a nice trick where he uses several clocks around the city to show Peter contemplate for literally hours as he swings around. He isn’t just about to randomly do things, even if it’s to help others. He thinks it through until he’s almost neurotic from over thinking.

His mind made up, he goes to his college to make a request and the issue ends on this:

Here is everything I want from a Spider-Man issue/arc/run. Complicated relationships, love drama, interesting side characters with their own stories, action, a sense of fun and energy, and hard decisions. And that last one is most important of all, because that is what I think was essential to me ‘getting’ Spider-Man.

I liked Spider-Man, and thought he was a fun character, but I had never made a big connection with him. I bought into a lot of fandom opinion that Spidey is just a woe-is-me, kind hearted, light character. Someone to enjoy in a small bursts, but not on the level of other great characters I loved like Daredevil and, especially, Superman. But #243 changed that and I think it comes from the fact I was in the same headspace as Peter when I first read this.

I won’t go super personal, but I was coming to what I thought was the end of my college career, and to say I was anxious was an understatement. I felt I had no future, no prospects, and no choices. I was depressed. But when I read this issue, I was stunned. Peter was making a decision similar to mine, and grappling with the same problems and fears as me. And he made his choice and what’s more, he lived with it. The choice had ramifications for more than just an arc, or even Roger Stern’s run, it affected him for, both in-universe and out, years of time. But you know what, despite the problems it dealt him, he made the most of it. More still, that choice opened opportunities he probably wouldn’t have had if he made a different one. This was so different from other characters, comic or otherwise, that I read. It was more real. More relatable.

And it was at that point that I think I ‘got’ Spider-Man. He isn’t relatable in the sense he is exactly like you. Or in the sense he is always suffering, either comically or tragically. He’s relatable because he, like us, makes deeply human choices.

All good characters are forced to makes choices of course, but his aren’t often on fate of the world stuff like the FF or Avengers. His choices are often things like who to trust and forgive or career and relationships decisions. And these choices can be tough and complicated in a way that other characters don’t have to grapple with. There aren’t usually any easy answers, and sometimes the consequences are genuinely horrible and unlucky. But like us, Peter has to deal with them the best he can and move on.

And I think I love this more than any other aspect of Spider-Man. There is no real set status quo; he grows and changes and enters new areas of life. And sometimes it’s scary and unpredictable, but Spider-Man helped me realize you can keep moving forward. He made that decision in college, and he made a lot more after it. Decisions to get married, or where to live, or dealing with new people in his life, good and bad. And because he lived with those decisions to even middle-age (because I consider Spider-Girl semi-canon) I know I can too.

#80s marvel was peak marvel #Marvel Comics #Roger Stern #Spider-Man #meta #personal stuff

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edelgoth · 5 years ago

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matchup commission

@irrationaljasmine thank you for commissioning me (and also for buying a ko-fi out of the goodness of your heart!!

thank you so, so much for being patient with me, and for being so understanding. i truly hope you enjoy this, and if there’s anything you’d like me to edit, explain, or add to, please let me know!!

from the fire emblem three houses boys, i match you with...

ashe ubert!!

i hope you’re okay with this, since he was the one i chose for your pba matchup!! but reading your extra info just makes me stick by it more ahaha

i also think he’s something of a middle-point between your two alternative matches?? i don’t know if that makes sense hhh

as i said in your first matchup, i think you two are quite similar in all the best ways; and that means that building a relationship would be pretty easy!!

you’re both hardworking, kind and reliable, which are not only wonderful traits to have, but very important in building a relationship

you and ashe would definitely have a friendship before anything romantic happened, and you’d be very comfortable with each other before the question was even posed

but i think ashe would like you off the bat, tbh; as i’ll expound upon earlier, you have a lot of traits that he admires, and he’d be really drawn to you because of that

even though you can be shy and a little quieter, ashe’s supports show that he tends to notice the quieter types, and he tends to get along with them quite well

hell, even if you two weren’t to get into a romantic relationship, i think you and ashe are just so compatible that you’d end up close friends regardless

i think that the friendship would soothe the shyness a bit (and the laughing)

but if you laugh at his jokes, he’ll adore you all the more for it

and i headcanon ashe as a bit of a blusher too, so he’s going to be bright red, especially during the early days of your relationship

although, you can so much as compliment ashe and he breaks out in a full-body blush

you’re both willing to stand up for what you care about and what you believe in, and especially when you defend your friends

honestly, i think you two would get a little starry-eyed whenever the other was standing up for their values; dare i say, couple goals??

ashe especially loves seeing that strong sense of justice he has reflected in you; he feels well understood, and like that little spark is well and alive in the world

i think your values line up quite well?? and for ashe, that’s something integral for a relationship

ashe is honestly the most encouraging partner you could ask for, and as i said in your first matchup, he’s the type to extol your virtues a lot

he wants you (and everyone else) to see yourself like he does, in all your wonder and beauty

and he’s not shy about saying it!! his compliments are just so genuinely earnest, and you can tell that he means them from the bottom of his heart

ashe would admire how hardworking you are, as it’s a virtue he wants to emulate himself

and as i mentioned last time too, he’d be grateful for the fact that you’re honest and tactful at the same time, because he seems to be the sort of person who always wants to improve

so knowing that he could come to you for honest yet kind feedback would be something he’s very grateful for

he also deeply values your kindness; he thinks there should be more compassion in the world, and it warms his heart to see you practicing that

i think both those traits in particular inspire him a little!! he feels this little bit of pride when he sees you being so wonderful, and that makes him want to do the same

furthermore, you’d be very supportive of each other!! and it’s really delightful and adorable, and highlights the wholesomeness of your relationship

you’d know that you could rely on ashe for anything, and he’d always have your back

ashe would adore the little notes you give loved ones, and he’d absolutely write them back; receiving one always warms his heart, and he wants to return that feeling to you

i can imagine him keeping them in a little book or a little box, and whenever he was feeling down or defeated, he’d pull them out to help motivate him to keep going

and honestly, i feel like the notes he’d write you would be quite poetic? he’s a big reader and all, so i’m sure he’s absorbed some of that

he adores how you’re there for others, and would be your confidant; he wants to be there for you, partly because he loves you, partly because he sees how you support your friends

he’ll always be checking in with you and making sure that you’re feeling okay, and becomes an expert at reading your emotions tbh

however, i think the more responsible and reliable side of your personality could ground him a little; it’s not that he’s doesn’t have those traits, it’s just that he can be a bit of a dreamer that has his head in the clouds

this also couples nicely with your tendency to be more organized? essentially, i think you’ve got a nice mix of the idealist and the realist going on here

i can definitely see him making use of your tendency to use planners; he could honestly make use of them himself

ashe is very patient and attentive, so hopefully that’d be very good with your anxiety

he’d be able to help you work through any cycles of overthinking, and i reckon he’d be a great grounding force

and, as i said last time, he’s always there to offer a shoulder and a good cuddle

that being said, ashe is also quite emotional, for good and ill; while it means he would understand that in your quite well, it could be,,, bad, if it lined up

you both wear your hearts on your sleeves, and that counts for something

but, you’d be very loyal to one another, and that means that you can trust each other deeply!

ashe strikes me as very affectionate and complimentary, and you can bet that he does his best to fight back against your low self-esteem

so, he’d also love how affectionate you are, because it’d help prevent him from feeling like he was being overbearing

also, he adores watching you dance or listening to you sing, and he always showers you with compliments whenever you perform

as a cook, i think he’d be well-equipped to deal with your gastric issues

he’s definitely the sort to do a ton of research on what food is and isn’t beneficial to you, which foods with soothe your stomach, and so on

he’d develop a strong arsenal of recipes, and you can count on him never failing to deliver a truly phenomenal meal

i think your hobbies would also line up quite well

remember the domestic dates i mentioned in your other matchup?? yeah, i’m doubling down on that, the concept is adorable

reading and baking together!! i can see you guys having a ton of fun playing around with recipes and flavours, and meals are never boring with you two

i get the feeling ashe has the capacity to get excited about media (i get the vibe he’d be a bit of a nerd in the modern day), and he’d be really interested in hearing your analyses!!

he’s got a little bit of an adventurous spirit in him, so he’d enjoy exploring new places with you

archery couple!!

honestly, i don’t think there’d be a ton of conflict between the two of you

while there may be the occasional emotional episode, they’d pass very easily, because you’re both very level-headed and willing to talk things out!!

you’re both good at putting yourselves in others’ shoes and seeing other perspectives, so communication is a dream between the two of you

importantly, i think he’d be able to help you and be concerned for you without being condescending

and honestly, he’s pretty petite and young-looking too (especially in the monastery days), so i feel like he’d know what it’s like to not be taken seriously

and finally, i think he ha a lot of the traits that you look for in a partner!!

he’s definitely morally upright and respectful, as well as being kind and helpful

he’s a very hard-worker who’s dedicated to his dream

he’s very patient, considerate and supportive (a ton of his supports demonstrate this), and as mentioned, i think he’d be helpful for working through any anxious or paranoid episodes

as i touched on earlier, i think he’s the best candidate when it comes to managing your stomach issues (and may i say? he’d do it in the most delicious way possible)

similar hobbies!! so that’s a bonus!!

and, to top it all off, he’d definitely see you and treat you as an equal, while still being supportive and helpful (all while not being condescending)

honestly, you guys would be so precious and delightful, and would have a wonderfully supportive and enriching relationship!!

dare i say, we stan?

for alternative matchups...

claude von riegan!!

claude is quite different from ashe slkdfjfkldj but you know what? he’s an excellent partner for you as well

getting to know each other could go either one of two ways; either you bond quite quickly because claude decides that’s what he wants to happen (so that he can find out your “secrets”), or you’re going to be overwhelmed by him and avoid him because of it

but, i’m sure you’d become friends over time, and trust me; claude strikes me as the slowburn type, so you’d have a long time to get comfortable before romance even crosses his mind

first of all, he admires how hardworking you are; for all this lassiez-faire attitude, claude knows the value of dedication, and knows how vital that is to achieving his dreams

so, he likes seeing it others, especially people who don’t take themselves too seriously for it

he also admires your kindness; while it doesn’t appear that way on the surface, i think claude is quite kind, deep down. he wants to minimize suffering and discrimination, after all, and i think your values would line up quite nicely there

claude would value how supportive and affirming you are, because while he’s someone who always strives to do better and benefits from criticism, it’s nice to be encouraged every once in a while

but, he appreciates that you’re still able to be honest with him; that balance is important to claude, and it’s something that’ll really help him grow

he keeps your notes on him whenever he’s away for a while

doesn’t necessarily write them back (i don’t think he’s big on words as a way of expressing his affection for others, unless the mood grips him and he makes a lil speech), but he finds other creative ways to express his love and appreciation for you

probably brings back fun trinkets that remind him of you whenever he goes to almyra, or buys you a book that he adores or finds interesting

i think that your more responsible and reliable personality would ground him quite well?? claude’s very intelligent and he certainly thinks things through, he could probably use a hand

please keep him organized oh my god

admittedly, he might not be the best when it comes to anxiety (and that’s a big reason as to why i chose ashe as your main match); his marianne supports go to show that he struggles to wrap his head around that sort of stuff

that being said, i think he’s capable of learning? it would just require a lot of talking things through, and trying to explain it to him

honestly, if you just explained by focusing on the overthinking, it might click for him

he’s a bit of an overthinker himself, but in a different way; but, the general principle might be enough to help him really get it

loyalty hits well with claude, and it’s something he’s just not used to; having a partner that he knows he can rely on no matter what would provide a sense of relief that he’d never felt before

honestly, your more emotional personality may clash with him at first (he’s not the sort to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he likes to mess around with people -- which may cause some conflict), but i think that with post-timeskip claude, it means you’d have a good balance

claude has some very high-minded ideals, and his dreams are founded on the basis of compassion and acceptance; but, claude seems to struggle with being emotionally present and sensitive

i think you could help him develop those traits, and may bring a more humanistic, grounded edge to his goals

claude is determined to up your self-esteem, so you can bet that he’s constantly giving you thoughtful compliments that really show he’s been paying attention

his compliments are different to ashe’s, in that they’re less earnest; but he always notices little things you do, small acts of kindness or dedication that generally go unnoticed, and he’ll be sure to compliment you for them

that doesn’t mean he’s above teasing you, though; he loves to tease you for wearing your heart on your sleeve, and the fact that you blush easily (and he’s delighted that teasing you makes you blush more). but, it’s affectionate, and due largely in part because he’s not the best at expressing his feelings for people

side note: he likes that you tend to laugh when you’re attracted to someone because he likes to feel witty

i think he’d like your approach to conflict

his entire arc and the themes of his route are all about trying to mend bridges (to varying success) and moving forward, and the best way to do that is to talk things through rationally and tactfully

dare i say, diplomatic power couple?

on top that, i think it means that once you two were comfortable with each other, you’d be able to communicate pretty well?

i do think that claude would struggle with trust and vulnerability for quite a while into your relationship, but i believe that you’re ability to be honest with people would go a long way there

but, in all honesty, he might patronize you a bit at first (just look at his supports with lysithea),,, but as long as you spoke up and told him to stop, and then explained why you didn’t like it, i think he’d stop

don’t think for a second that he’s underestimated you though; he knows what you’re worth and what your strengths are, and he’ll tell you about them in a second if you asked him to (albeit, with a touch of awkwardness)

he’d give you almyran recipes to bake; he’s not going to help because he’s terrified of messing up (not that he’d admit that), but he loves it when you cook meals from his homeland; it warms his heart in a way not much else does

claude would analyse things to death with you; it’d be one of his favourite ways to pass time, and he’s always picking out things that you didn’t -- and vice versa

he’s also up for exploring new places, especially if you appeal to his curiosity; but, in true claude style, he somehow gets you into places you really shouldn’t be

also, another archery couple!! iconic!!

though i feel like claude would always be challenging you to a competition; it’s just how he be

he’s not too far off your ideal partner, either; he’s definitely morally upright (well, in his own way), and he’s hardworking and patient (he has to be, to pull of the things he dreams of)

and i think he’s capable of being very supportive and considerate when he really loves someone

and, claude is the best person to talk to about various topics!! i think he’d be very good at playing “devil’s advocate” and considering different perspectives in a conversation

i think the two of you would have a lot of fun just talking the night away

at the end of the day, claude definitely treats you as an equal (especially after he’s learnt to open up to you and share his real thoughts and feelings), while still supporting and helping each other!!

it’s a different vibe to ashe, but i think this relationship would still work wonderfully!

but also...

dimitri alexandre blaiddyd!!

i chose him as your secret admirer, and once again, i stand by what i said!!

as i said in your original matchup, he’d admire how hardworking and kind you are, because those are traits that he strives to have

like ashe and claude, i think he’d be quite drawn to the sense of justice you see to have; as i said in your original matchup, he’d admire how you stood up for yourself and others

dimitri himself has a strong sense of justice and compassion, and i feel like that’s something you’d bond over

after all, dimitri implements democracy in his endings (it says so in his solo ending, and i believe a few others?)

dimitri always strives to improve himself, and because of that, he values your tactful honesty

he wants to be the best leader -- and best person -- that he can be, and he needs people who are willing to help him grow

even before you were romantically involved, he’d value your judgement and your counsel, and he’d come to you to talk through important issues

i think that dimitri’s own struggles would give him an attentiveness and sensitivity that the others don’t quite have; while he confide in you as your other friends do, he’s also aware of your own struggles

and because of that, he’d be mindful to always be willing to lend an ear and a shoulder should you need it

he knows how much he appreciates you doing that for him, so he never wants you to feel alone and like you had no one of your own to turn to

dimitri would honestly be one of the most supportive partners you could ever have!! he’s constantly just,,, in awe of you, and thinks you’re wonderful!! and he’s so uncontrollably fond that it just comes across in everything he does (but more on that later)

unlike the other two, dimitri’s quite organized himself!! but he’s also quite organized with his personal belongings (catch him cleaning your room every so often dkljfljk)

like the others, i think he’d value that responsible and reliable side of you, but in a different way; in dimitri’s case, it’s a relief, because he’d really value a person who can help him stay on top of things

dimitri would also deeply value your loyalty; he’s had a very tumultuous life, and having someone he can rely on and who he can really talk to means a lot to him

more so than the other two, i think dimitri would have the best grasp on your anxiety, and would arguably be the best at helping you overcome it?

his supports with marianne demonstrate that he’s very sensitive and tactful when it comes to other people’s mental health struggles, and he very much seems to be the type who’s there to hold your hand and support you while you work on yourself

another textual example is when he comforts byleth after jeralt dies; he brings a wisdom and sensitivity to that conversation that demonstrates how understanding and even attentive he can be

where i’m going with this is that i think he’d be very patient and helpful whenever you were spiralling; he’d speak from the heart and would do his absolute best to help calm you down and remind you that things will be okay

similarly to ashe, i think that dimitri would be prone to constantly and earnestly complimenting you, and would honestly be distraught to know that you had low self-esteem

dimitri has a tendency to love people wholly and fully, and knowing that you don’t see yourself like he does breaks his heart

and, once again like ashe, he would be almost embarrassingly sincere -- but it’s sweet, and it’s honest, and it’s all very dimitri

he’s quite similar to you in that while he’s measured most of the time, he tends to feel strongly about things (just see his entire route)

this could be a double-edged sword, because it will deepen your understand of each other, but as with ashe, it could be a bit problematic if certain emotions lined up

but, it’s nothing that communication can’t help soothe, imo

i think you guys would get quite well-acquainted with each other’s triggers and common overthinking cycles, and would do your best to help combat them

dimitri is touch-starved imo, so i reckon he’d be clingy

and he’d love how affectionate you were, because it’d validate him

you’d likely end up just being,,, the cuddliest couple in the world. he’s going to hold you at each and every opportunity, no matter what

side note: he loves that you laugh a lot around him because he’s never really seen as funny, so it makes him feel a little giddy

honestly, i feel like you and dimitri would have a good rapport to start with? i know you say that you take time to warm up to people, but i just think again to his supports with marianne and how well he was able to get along with her

i just think that dimitri’s whole demeanour and his attentiveness would make it very easy for you to get along with him from the get-go

i feel like dimtiri would be mindful of how quiet you are, and how you tend to get underestimated, and would make a real effort to ask you for your opinion

he hates seeing you be overlooked or underestimated just because you’re quieter and more thoughtful, and he wants to give you the opportunity -- and the platform -- to speak your mind and be heard

and as mentioned earlier, i feel like he’d value your counsel deeply, and would thoughtfully consider your opinions on things

a lot of that is because he trusts you so much, but also because your values resonate and he likes how level-headed you are when talking about those sorts of issues

and as i said in the other matchup, he deeply admires how you’re willing to stand up for your friends and your opinions; he thinks that take’s real courage

like with ashe, i feel like your relationship would be pretty free of conflict? dimitri is prone to the occasional emotional blow up (like in his early supports with ingrid), but i just can’t see you saying or doing anything that would upset him to that point

you both want to work things out with people and to meet in the middle (he tries to talk to edelgard to end the war, after all), so i genuinely think that you’d always work through your conflicts before they became anything to be concerned about

and, even if you were being overly emotional or stubborn, i feel like he’d continue to be patient and understanding, and would know when to give you time to cool off

while he can’t taste your cooking, he loves supporting you and encouraging you (and he can certainly give you his opinion on the texture of the things you make)

also a big fan of your singing and dancing!! he especially likes it when you sing him a lullaby; he has an easier time falling asleep when he’s listening to your voice

being from fargheus, he doesn’t know much about marine life, so he’d find aquatic creatures fascinating!! he’d listen with rapt attention whenever you told him some interesting facts about sharks and whales and all the rest.

his face just lights up whenever you start talking about the things you’re passionate about, because he loves seeing that fire in your eyes; so, he’s always asking thoughtful questions about your interests!!

finally, i think he also fits your profile of an ideal partner!!

morally upright? check (and he works hard for it). respectful? check. kind and helpful? check check check!!

considerate, hardworking, patient and supportive? that’s dimitri to a t.

something tells me that dimitri would be a tad pedantic about making sure you’re eating on time and that you’re feeling comfortable; so there’s that, too!!

and while your hobbies don’t line up perfectly, dimitri definitely seems like the type of partner who would make a real effort to take an interest in the things you’re passionate about!!

and finally, he absolutely sees you as an equal, and would support and help you without a second thought; dimitri is so inherently thoughtful, and i’m sure that’ll come up all the time in your relationship

bless you guys, you’d have such a wholesome, supportive relationship that has a lot of potential to encourage growth!!

(fun fact: as i was writing this out i wanted to change around the order of the ships, but the formatting is being to difficult so!! ashe and dimitri are probably equal in terms of compatibility!!)

since there were only a few boys left, i thought i may as well say something about them, too!!

dedue - i like dedue as an option for you!! you have a lot of qualities that he’d admire: you’re hardworking, kind and loyal, and you stay organized.

dedue has this quiet composure to him, and that’d be a double-edged sword in this relationship. i think it’d be good in the sense that it’d ground you, and that could provide a sense of calm. the moments you’d get to steal away with dedue would be very peaceful, and full of more unspoken affection and sensitivity; a nice reprieve from the stresses of day-to-day life. at the same time, his stolidness wouldn’t be as effective a pick-me-up as the emotionality and brightness of your other picks. there may just be some tension there when it comes to expressing emotion and affection. basically it comes down to a fi vs fe issue; you just have different ways of handling your emotions.

but, as said, i think you’d work really well together. i think you complement each other well, while also having similar virtues. also, just imagine baking together for a moment. bless.

seteth - i wasn’t actually sure if i should include seteth (since i’m not including other staff members), but here’s the green man himself.

honestly, my feelings towards you and seteth are quite similar to those i had about you and dedue. i think seteth would value a similar set of traits in you; namely your kindness, your propensity for being organized and responsible, and how supportive you are. and while i think he’s got a bit of distance to him (because, you know,,, he’s seen a lot over the past few centuries), he’s very kind and very use, and i think he’d be quite good at helping you out with your anxiety and your tendency to overthink.

he also fits your ideal profile pretty well, but i think there’s just this,,, air of distance to him, and that may mean that you won’t truly feel like you’re equals. it might not be a major issue, it’s enough to make me place him here on the list instead of higher up.

ferdinand - i had a hard time trying to get a grasp on what a relationship between you and ferdinand would look like. i don’t know why it was so elusive, but i think you two would work quite well together?

he’s very hardworking, and he’s quite considerate and respectful (after he’s been berated for his tactlessness -- most of his supports work this way hdslkjfdsfs). he’d really like how organized, responsible and reliable you are, and would admire how kind, hardworking, loyal and supportive you are. so on a lot of levels, i think you’d find each other quite attractive!! also i think he’d love listening to you sing and watching you dance, as well; he adores that sort of thing.

that being said, i think he can be just a bit too tactless at times (of course, he always rectifies that behaviour once he’s told, as shown in supports), but it could cause a few hiccups along the way. but, i do think he’s a good choice!!

felix - i think things with felix could certainly be interesting. your personalities contrast a lot, but felix seems like he’d be a softie really deep down. while that side of him is never really going to come out (we love repressing ourselves because fargheus culture promotes toxic masculinity wOOHOO), it’s definitely there, and i think once he got to know you, it’d really come out around you.

i think that the contrast between the two of you could incur great growth, especially in him, but that’d be a ton of work. i think the two of you certainly have the capacity to get along, but it’d take a long time to get to the point of being comfortable. also, can i just say? he’d be terrible with anxiety. absolutely awful. and self-esteem issues? a disaster. he means well and he wants to help, but again,,, fargheus culture. he just doesn’t know how to be comforting. love him tho, what an icon

sylvain - i flip-flopped on sylvain tbh. i think there are elements of him that would make a great partner for you, but i feel like you’d flourish more with someone mature? not that sylvain’s not mature -- he’s certainly capable of it -- but he chooses to act a fool.

i think he’d find you very cute, and there’s some value to having a good contrast between partners, but i just don’t think he’s the best match for you?? he doesn’t really fit the bill in terms of what you’re looking for (i think he’d get there eventually, but it’d just take a lot of growth on his part), and i think his flippant, careless persona could cause some trouble for the two of you. once again, i think that if you stuck it out, great things could happen, but there’s just better matches for you!!

hubert - honestly, i don’t see it working? honestly, because you sound too nice for him dsjlds

your personalities come off as very different to me, and while that can provide some fun contrast, i feel like it’d be very unbalanced. while he’d value your hardworking and organized side, your emotionality and kindness just don’t seem like things he’d prioritize in a partner. there’s not much to say on this ahaha

i think you’d have good comedic potential as friends?? *hubert voice* “someone will die.” “of love and support!”

#matchups #fire emblem matchups #matchup commission

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